CHAP. I.

IN the Wilde of Kent, not far from Rumney Marsh there dwelt a merry-conceited Cob­ler, commonly called Robin the Devill, which afterwards came to be called, The Witch of the Woodlands. This Cobler alwayes had a spe­ciall care to please his Customers, but chiefly he would be sure that if any pretty Wench brought him a job to doe, he would go through stitch with her worke first of all; He could jest and be merry in companie; he could sing in his shop like a Nightingale; he could cut a ca­per with Jack Pudding, and was not much in­feriour to lusty Laurence, which got eightéen wenches with childe all in one yeare, for it was well knowne that he got thrée wenches with childe all in one night; but as the Proverb goes, The Pitcher that goes often to the water, may at last come broken home: And the sweetest meat requires the sowrest sawce: So it fared with Robin the Cobler, for one of his wenches [Page 4] being suddenly brought to bed with a male childe, the Mother of the Damosell served Ro­bin the Cobler with a Warrant, and made him to marry her daughter out of hand; then was the poore Cobler fallen into a pecke of troubles, and knew not how to behave himselfe: For though he had béen Factor for Mars, yet he never was made a Vulcan before that time; And now must he provide for cloutes and whitles, fire and candle, sope and starch, white bread and milke, a nurse and a cradle, with many other matters which belongs to married men to looke after; But as it is in the Proverbe, That one ill chance followes another, So was it with him for the other two Damosels which he had for­merly made use of, now began to make use of him, and brought him two children more to kéep, which was done both on one day; which when Robin the Cobler did behold, he fell into such a fearfull quandarie, so that the people that beheld him, said that he lookt so pittifully upon the matter, that they thought in their mindes that he would never be good againe.

Then began Robin with dolefull words, with wéeping eyes, and with wringing hands to be­waile his former follies, saying, O silly rogue that I am, was it not enough for me to sing, dance, drinke Ale, breake Cakes, talke and be merry amongst Maids? but that I must like a Towne-Bull, over-run all that stand in my [Page 5] way, and so in the end he pounded for my break­ing loose; now am I in a worse case then Por­rage John, Marret the Lawyer, or the Cow-kéeper of the Pinder of Wakefield; I would that my Father had never begot me, then should I never have begotten so many wenches with childe; or else I would that some honest Sow-gelder had done his office upon me to

kéep me honest, then had I scap't the misery now I am sure to endure: Now whilest Robin [Page 6] the Cobler was making this sorrowfull la­mentation, a friend of his whispered him in the eare, and gave him counsell to be gone from them all, saying, That one paire of heeles is worth two paire of hands; whose counsell Ro­bin tooke, as you shall heare in the following Chapter.

CHAP. II.

RObin the Cobler having hearkned to his friends advice, made no more to doe of the matter, but trust up his Tools to be gone, resolving to come for London, and there to worke Iourney-worke till such time that his children were come to be men, and able to worke for themselves; but as he passed along the Countrey, which is called the Wilde of Kent, he lost his way in the Woodlands, when night was almost come upon him, and finding no path to guide him, he wandred up and downe till it was almost ten of the clocke in a pittifull cold frosty darke Winters night: but at the last he heard a Cocke crow, whereby he under­stood that there was some dwelling house near at hand, and so being somewhat comforted to heare the crowing of the Cocke, he made his ap­proach to the house, and knocking at doore, there came forth an old woman with a dish clout [Page] bound about her head, and a staffe in her hand, and demanded of Robin to know what hée knockt for; O Mother, quoth he, I am a poore distressed Traveller which hath lost my way, and willing would I be to give six pence for a Bed this night to lay my weary bones on: Marry, quoth she, all the beds that I have are not worth six pence, for I have no more then what I lye on my selfe, but if thou wilt take paines to doe as I doe, thou and I will lye to­gether for once, where we will hug one another as the Devill hugg'd the Witch: Robin behol­ding and taking notice of her person all the body over, saw that she was long-nos'd, bleare-ey'd, crooked-neckt, wry-mouth'd, crumy-shoulder'd, béetle-brow'd, thin-belly'd, bow-legg'd, and splay-footed: He began to frame an excuse, saying, Good Mother, I pray you to consider this, that I am a Batchelour, and never came in bed with any woman since I was borne of my Mother; Wilt thou sweare that that which thou speakest is true: I will, quoth Robin, whereupon he heard a hollow voice, as if it came out of the top of a Chim­ney, crying thrée severall times, Robin the Cobler is mine, Robin the Cobler is mine; Robin the Cobler is mine; These words when he heard, he thought that some she-devill was come to fetch him away alive, and pre­sently he fell into such a trembling condition, [Page 8] that his hands shooke, his pulses beat, his heart panted, his head aked, his nose dropt, his belly rumbled, and a certain parcell of melting teares dropt out of the lower ends of his bréeches, and so falling downe upon his knées to the old wo­man, desired her to let him have a lodging, how she would, or where she would; then the old wo­man tooke him in, and with a remnant of wa­ter which she had kept a long time in a Cham­ber-pot for that purpose, she washt him from the crowne of the head to the sole of the feet, and made him as white as if he had washt him in puppy-dog-water, and so they went lovingly to bed together; what followed after shall be rela­ted in the ensuing discourse.

CHAP. III.

AFter that Robin the Cobler had taken his first sléep, he awaked, and turning himselfe on the other side, he sent for his Bed-fellow, but she was not there; and having gotten all the Bed-room to himselfe, he began to wonder with himselfe about the passages which had hapned to him the night before, and there­withall he bethought himselfe how he might use a meanes to get away before the old Witch his new-made Landlady came backe againe to him, for he supposed that she had gone forth to [Page 9] fetch companie to cut his throat; but whilst he was thus thinking, in came the old woman with thrée more of her Disciples, with every one of them a light Torch in her hand, cry­ing out all at once, that they would be reven­ged on Robin the Cobler for all his Whore-hunting tricks: These foure female Witches could transforme themselves into any humane shape at their owne pleasure; so she that Ro­bin tooke to be his mother-in-law, brought in an ugly Beare at her héeles, another brought a ravening Wolfe, and the third brought a sharp long broad bladed knife; poore Robin, al­though the weather was cold, and the Bed-clothes very thin, yet he was hot enough: for being in a stinking feare, he covered himselfe over head and eares, all save one hole that was in the cover-lid, which he now and then closely péept out at, but burst not to stir for his life; but now begins the game, The grand Witch of the Companie, otherwise called the Land­lady of the house, put her hand under the bed, and pulled out a Taber and a Pipe, and plaid such a fit, that it lasted till it was within two houres of day; all this while the other three Witches danc'd the Irish Hay with their héeles upwards, meane time poore Robin the Cobler lay a bed and bepist himselfe, till at last two quarts run through the bed upon the ground, whether it were done for joy, or for feare, Ile [Page 10] leave that to other such as himselfe to consider of; but when the Musicke was ended, the Beare began to rore, and the Woolfe began to howle for food, then said the old Witch, I have in the house the bravest breakfast for your two Familiars that they have feasted on ever since they devoured the two damnable Whores which were bewitcht as they rode in a Coach towards a Bawdy-house in London; and now since that Witches have power of none but Swearers and Cursers, Théeves and dis­semblers, Pimps, Bawds and panders, whores and Whore-hunters, and such like manner of people, let us make the best use of our time that we may: And now you shall sée what a gallant prize I have lighted upon by chance: There was a merry disposed Cobler, which dwelling not far from the Towne of Rumney, who was every day used to drinke, swagger, swear and dominéere, and oftentimes he would say that he car'd not a turd for all the Witches in the World, and that he had a trick to de­fend himselfe from the power of Witches; which was by washing his hands, and saying his Prayers every morning before hée went forth of the doores; but although he served God in the morning, he served the Devill ere night; for there was hardly one day in the weeke, but he would goe a whoring, and often­times he would intice honest Wenches to sinne [Page 11] by his dissembling spéeches, and his false for­swearing himselfe, making them believe, that if he got them with child, he would marry with them; amongst the rest, he got three Widdowes daughters with childe, all in one night, making every one of them believe, and swearing that he would marry with them the morrow after, which he never did intend, but at last Good-wife Webb the Widdow forc'd him to marry her daughter; which being done, the other two Wenches which he had gotten with childe, be­ing delivered, brought him their two children to kéep, so as he got them all thrée with childe in one night, so they brought him three children to kéep in one day; these things he thought that Witches had not knowne, but my Imps spent not their time in vaine, for I every night sent forth my familiar Imp Madge of Wake­field, in the likenesse of a blacke Cat, which told me of every thing that Robin the Cobler did doe; but the archest piece of Roguerie that ever he did in all his life, was done to a Wid­dow woman in the Ille of Thanet, for he pro­mis'd her marriage, and made her sell her Widdowes Estate for foure and twenty pound, and told her, that if she would lend him the money to buy him Leather, that he would be married to her on Thursday next, and wisht, that if he did not doe according to his promise, that he might be torne in pieces with Woolves [Page 12] and Beares, but he never came backe to the Widdow againe; And last of all he run away from his Wife and thée Children, and now he lies under that Coverlid: When the other thrée Witches had heard this discoverie, they all leapt for joy, and the thrée familiar spirits which went in the shape of a Wolfe, a Beare, and a blacke Cat, were ready to teare the Wit­ches to pieces for victuals, they were so hun­gry; then said one of them to the rest, séeing hee wisht that hee might be devoured by Wolves and Beares, he shall have his wish, and he shall presently be cut in quarters, and the Wolfe shall have his Heart, Liver, and Lungs for his breakfast, the Beare shall have his Paunch and Bowels, and the Cat shall have his privy members to gnaw upon: Nay, quoth the older Witch, it shall not be so, for he shall not have so pleasant a death as you speake of, but we will have a little more sport with him before he dyes: That very word procured some comfort to Robins languishing spirits; for he had rather chuse to lead a sor­rowfull life, then to dye a sudden death: And now to be briefe in the matter, they pul'd the Bed-clothes from off him, and made him stand up starke naked as ever he was borne before them, the Wolfe bit him by the throat, the Beare bit him by the bum, and the Cat bit him by the members, and every one drew bloud of [Page 13] him, but did him no great harme at that time; Now, said the old Witch, we have markt you for our owne, and therewithall she past sentence upon him, that he should have three dayes pu­nishment for his former offences, and after­wards he was to be eaten up alive; the first of the thrée dayes he was to be transformed into the shape of a Fox, and to be chased with Dogs from morning till night.

The second day he was to be a riding Nag, and to carry the Witch whither she pleased: The third day he was to be an Owle, and to [Page 14] fly from one place to another all the day long; so having agréed upon the matter, as soone as the day appeared, Robin the Cobler was to be a fox, and so out of the doores they set him a running, and having transform'd themselves into the shape of dogs, followed close at his héeles, and every time they overtooke him, they bit him by the buttockes, and nipt him most devillishly, for they had no mercy in their téeth.

The next day they transform'd him into the shape of a Horse, and so the Witches got upon his backe, thrée of them at a time, and rid him over hils and mountaines, through Rivers and Ponds, through all sorts of waters thicke and thin; and worst of all, they rid him through so many bushes, brambles, and briars, til they tore the very skin from the flesh of him; so that the Whoremasters bloud of his run from him in many places; and yet were not his sorrowes at an end, nor no man knowes when they will be.

The third day they made an Owle of him, who flying up and down from Trée to Trée at noon time of the day, crying, whu, whu, whu, the birds came thick and thréefold about him, won­dring most strangely to sée an Owle abroad by day-light; wherefore to fulfill the old Proverbe, they all fell upon him like Pyes upon an owle: And to be briefe, they pluckt his feathers, broke his wings, and pickt out one of his eyes: This being done, the grand Witch consulting with [Page 15] the rest of the Witches, saying, That Robin the Cobler had done enough of any conscience for his wenching tricks, and so they turn'd him in­to the shape of a Swan:

And last of all they withdrew their Inchan­ting spels, and so Robin the pitifull Cobler be­came a man againe; but before he departed, they made him to knéele downe, and kisse every one of their fleshy parts, and therewithall they par­ted houshold.

CHAP. IV. How Robin the Cobler having got loose from the Witches, became a new man, and of ma­ny notable exploits which he did, you shall pleasantly heare.

NOw when Robin the Cobler had broken the spels of witchcraft, his eye-sight, his hearing, his spéech, his senses, and his know­ledge, was all restored unto him againe, but yet he lookt of a pitifull complexion, just as a man may say, like one of Pharaoh's leane kine; his visage was pale and ghastly, his eyes seemed as if they were sunke into his head, his nose was like the nose of a scoulding Ale-wife, long and sharp, and his tongue did gaggle, as if it had béen made of the Devils bollock leather, his bel­ly and his backe were so clung together, that he was scarce able to shit for bones.

Nor had he any kind of Habit to put on that was worth the throwing to the dunghill, only an old lowsie smocke, and a paire of slip-shooes, which one of the Witches had given him out of her méere pittifull charity; but yet he knew himselfe to be in a far more happier taking then he was in before, when he was riden with there she-devils at one time.

Then began Robin to ruminate, and to think what course he were best to take, and which way [Page 17] was best for him to stéere his helme, and at last he resolved to take his journey once more for the famous City of London, and to try if for­tune would afford him any better lucke then he had before; but he vow'd that he would keep along on the Road, and never goe through the Woodlands any more, for feare lest the Witches should méet with him again. Now as he passed along on the way; in every Towne and Village where he came, the boyes and the Children would run away from him, thinking that he had been mad, insomuch that there was not one idle boy or girle to be séen in the stréets, but here comes one, the very bitterest of al, poor Robin the Cobler, having gone along on his journey for the space of almost two wofull days and nights, without bread or drinke, or money to buy, he began to bewaile his sorrowfull life; in this mournfull manner: Oh pittifull Cobler that I am, for now I am in a worse case then ever I was before. When I was a Horse, the Witches did ride me, and put me to much pain, but yet they gave me somewhat to feed upon at night, though it were but branne and water, which I can approve to be pretty good fare for horses when they are very hungry, and so they may have enough to fill their bellies withall. When I was a Fox, the Witches in the shapes of Dogs can after me, and hurried me up and downe, and at every stop and turne bit me by [Page] the buttocks; but now am I hungerbitten, which is ten thousand times worse. When I was an owle, I was most shamefully abused, and wondred at by other birds; but now am I made a wondring stocke to all the folks that sées me, insomuch that no man, woman nor childe, will not nor dare not come anear me, long of the poverty of my flesh, and disguise of habit. Oh what a pitifull wretched case am I in now; An Ape, an Owle, a Fox, a Goose, a Horse, an Oxe or an Asse is in a far better taking then I am in. O that I could with Diogenes Mare féed upon thistles, or like a Camelion, live by the aire. Now whilst he was thus complaining, by chance came along a blind Beggar man, which had a whole Wallet full of fragments of Fish and meat, and mammacks of Bread and Chéese, which he had gotten amongst his good benefactors. When Robin the Cobler had sirt his eyes upon the blind mans Wallet of victuals, the very heart in his belly leapt for joy, hoping that then he should fill his belly once againe, and thereupon taking courage upon him, he made his addresse, and spake to the blind Beggar man, by way of complement, knowing that the blind man could not sée what manner of person he was, and so taking hold of him by the shoulder, began to expresse his mind in this manner: Well overtaken Father, how far walk you this way, marry, quoth the Beggar, but to [Page 19] the next Village, and for want of a Guide to leade me, I am in feare that I shall come too late to my lodging; why quoth the Cobler, ra­ther then you shall doe amisse, I will take the paines to lead you my selfe, for I love old men with all my heart.

CHAP. V. Here followeth a discourse of the happy fortune that happened to Robin the Cobler after all his miseries.

AS Robin the Cobler was leading the blind Beggar along on the way, the blind man found him to be excéeding diligent, and there­withall desired of Robin to know who he was that would undervalue himselfe to take paines to lead him; Then quoth Robin, I am a Gen­tleman borne and bred, and so you would say if you could but sée me; but as it comes to passe, I have never a penny to help my selfe, for I have béen a valiant Cavalier for the King, but by the fortune of the Wars I am utterly un­done for ever, unlesse some spéedy help come by heavenly Providence. I tell you Father, my Land not long since was sequestred, my goods and my money taken from me, and my body carried to prison, where I have lain thrée years, [Page 20] thrée months, thrée wéekes, and thrée dayes, and at the last, by happy chance I got out of prison; but now I am out I know not how to live, nor how to get one bit of bread to relieve my hun­gry stomacke, for I have béen fasting two days and nights, and never a bit of victuals came within my body: Alas for you good Sir, said the Beggar, I much lament your case, but if you will be pleased to accept of such poore fare as I have in my Wallet, you shall be heartily welcome to it, and the next Alehouse that we come to I will give you liquor of the best to

[Page 21] swallow it downe: whereupon the Wallet was laid downe, and the victuals sorted out upon the gréen banke. I thinke there was no néed to bid Robin to eat, but when he had filled his bel­ly away they went together chéerfully to the place appointed, where they lay lovingly toge­ther that night, and the next day the Begger brought him home to his owne house, where was plenty of good clothes, both of Woollen and Linnen, with which the Beggar suited Robin, and also directed him to a coffer where was two hundred and fifty pounds of ready money; All this quoth the Beggar, shall be your owne when I dye, if you will stay with me all my life time.

Whereupon the Cobler replyed, with a very good will Sir; which bargaine being made, Robin and his old Master would every day walke about to good mens houses, to sée what victuals they could get, till at the last, Robin became as cunning at the Trade as his Master, and was acquainted with most of the Master-Beggars that lived in the County of Kent.

But to conclude, In processe of time, the blind Beggar dyed, and then all his wealth fell to Robin, who afterwards went home to his former habitation, and tooke order for the brée­ding up of the thrée children that he got in one [Page 22] night, and gave the two wenches ten pounds apiece for the injury that he had formerly done them, and threw the rest of the money into his Wives lap, and so endeth the story of Robin the Cobler.