WHat my old acquaintance Pa­trick, how fares your body? you look like one that came lately out of purgatory, what hath your holy Dame Pope Ione hanted your Ghost?

Why Peter, I sée you will never leave your old knavery while your tongue will wag, and that I thinke was made of [...], I'le tell thée, tis as easy a thing to sée thee with­out a gybe in thy mouth, as tis to see a Tinker without a trull at his héeles.

Why dost thou thinke I mock thee?

I cannot tell what you call mocking, but if the lair word that thou spokest of should come to his holinesse eare, they would curse thée by Bell, Booke and Candell.

Let them curse mee and spare not for their curses will flee no further then their eyes can see.

Art thou not asham'd to scandalize such a worthy company of reverend Prelats, holy Fryers, re­ligious Nuns, and their followers.

Hey hey, what have you got a Pope in your belly too? [...] this is pretty sport indeed, but i'le tell thee one thing for thy comfort Patrick, thou must either in plaine tearmes forsake the Pope, or shake hands with the hangman.

Dost heare me Peter, if than didst know in much as a [...]y doe know, thou wouldst not refuse to goe twenty miles on thy bare feets to heare Masse.

Fy, fy, fy, prethee stand further from mee, thy cloathes stinkes of knavery: thy body of baudery, and thy breath of popery.

What, what, whats the newes now? are you in your rime doggrell [...] if I catch you a rimeing i'le rime with you.

Begin of thou dar'st.

Yes faith i'le have to ther od rime, if it cost mee a grote.

Well to't then patrick begin againe.

Fy Peter, now thou hyt shame too deepe, yet i'le try the other veny if thou canst worst me at the next bowt then; spare me not good Peter.

VVhy then please your selfe, and wee are all pleased, begin once more.

Come, come, I sée thou art too hard for me at rim­ing and therefore lets fal to our former discourse againe.

I say still as I said at first; please one, and please all

Nao but Peter, as I take thee for a man of dis­cretion, I also know thee to hée a newes-monger, therefore prethée tell me some newes.

VVhy Patrick, did I not see you yesterday in divers places of the City, as namely did I not see you in the morning in Cheapside, amongst the Gold-smiths, at noone in the Exchange amongst the Gallants, at foure a Clock amongst the Brokers in long Lane, and at night in a baudy ouse, and would you learne newes of me?

Why Peter, shou know'st I hate a Band worse then I hate a Turke.

But patrick, I thinke thou lovest a whore better then thou lovest a Christian, and therefore doe thou tell the newes.

Must I needs tell the newes. why then pray thee Peter heare me, and I will tell thee such newes which hath even made me starke staring-borne mad.

Prethee patrick speake on, for such newes I long to heare.

Why then i'le tell thee Peter, as a friend, yester-day a little while after thou hadst seene mee, it [Page 10] was my fortune to meets with one singing, who with a loud voyce chanted forth in the last of thin moneth, such a mornefull dity as made the very haire of my head stand an end to heare him, I would my wife Besse had heene there for hi [...] sake.

VVhat would shee have done?

Shée would have either pincht him by the eares, scracht him by the f [...]e, or pick out his eyes, and had it not beene for feare of the Law, I would have stab'd him with my knife.

Why then, I perceive you stand in feare of the hangman, but what was the song that did so much molest thy mind?

Faith I cannot well remember the beginning out, but the concusion was this

And art thou angry with the ballet singer for singing that song.

I, mighty angry.

Shall I tell thée Patrick, I thinke it to bee the best Song, and 'tis like to bee the truest Song that was song in London streets this twise twelve moneths.

Shew mee a reason Peter.

Why this is the reason, our Nation have beene so grosely abused by Masse Priests, Jesuits and Recusants, and such like troublesome persons which have caused strangers to hate us, neighbours to laugh at us, and our owne friends to fight with us.

Are friends so foolish as to fight one with the other.

No, but that such knaves as thou art are willing to set them together by the eares.

pray thee good Peter, and friend, tell me with­out jesting how this may bee, and if any fault remaines in mée, I will doe the best indeavor to amend it, and I trust that all my friends and ac­quaintance will doe the like, and run hand and hand with the proverb, every one mend a little.

Since you are in such a good minde I will not put you by: but will tell you my mind: this I am sure of, that all that are of your sex, and will not be reform'd, must depart out of our Kingdome.

What quite out of England! what if we depart the City, and live thirty miles from it?

That will not serve your turne, our Kings Lawes will meete with you.

Why then [...] [...]y fly into Yorkshire, and he frée from danger.

Nay then you are like to the fish w^ch leapt out of the fryingpan into the fire, for there the bony Scots will have you by the loggs: and besides all this the Papists have playd [Page 13] such prankes in England of late, which puts us in mind of eighty eight, the yeare before when there came such an invincible navy of Ships, that they appeared like a mighty Forest of trees upon the sea, wherein they brought hookes to hang men up by the joules, Knives to out our throats, and whips of steel to whip [...] death.

Why these were not English Papists, they came from Spayn.

For any thing I know, the English Papists may be ful as bad if not worse, thā Spaniards; further more in the happy and peacefull raigne of our dread Soveraigne Lord King Iames, when his Majesty had cal'd an assem­bly together of the chiefest noble Lords, and peers of our Kingdome, O what a damnable plot was there layd for the de­struction, and overthrow both of our King and Kingdome?

Why these were sent from Rome

I thinke they were sent from Hell, for I am sure they brought fire-workes with them [Page 14] but to conclude in a word, I'de wish thee to be as good as thy word, either to amend thy life or else depart England.

Why what course would you have me to take?

First I would have [...] [...]erve God in every thing, and next obe [...] Charles our gracious King, see that thou do [...]t thy ne [...]hbour love, and God will of thy works aprove.

In my heart I am over joyed with thy Christian like councell, and I thinke a happy time that we met together, and thus much more I tell 'thee thou shalt see a speedy reformation in me, if God say amen, so for this time farwell good friend.