New News FROM TORY-LAND, &c.

GReat News from Whitehall—Great News from Samm's Coffee-House—Great News from the Pall-mall—Run ye Rogues—Run ye Whores—The Rat-Catcher's just going off—Cancaro—What an Age do we live in? What! will ye ne're ha done, Gen­tlemen? Here's—Noise and Din, Clamour and Fury, Rag­ing and Storming, Hoyday!—Here's Thou Fool, and Thou Knave Thou Rogue, and Thou Rascal Thou ly'st, and Thou ly'st Hei-go-mad!—Tantivishire is all in a flame with Thunder and Lightning—Anathema's and Ex­communications;—Tory-land is so dismally harrass'd with Tempests and Hurricanes, that a Dissenter can hardly keep his Hat upon his Head, or his Cloak upon his Shoul­ders.—Here are Your Thompsons, Your Prologue-makers, and Ballad-makers, Your Heraclitus's, and Roger's, and the Devil and all—Nay, here's Conjuring too, downright Conjuring in the Language of Trithemius, Tory, Whigg, Fa­natick, Tantivyman—Come up here i'the name of Sando [...] ­phon, and Adarniel, Hautzeviv, and Tzautzeviv—And what's the meaning of all this? For a Company of Poltrons, and Paper-wasters, to get money, and disorder the Kingdom. Who would not be the Danae of an Ob­servator to be courted in Golden Showres, and all to please [Page 2] the wanton Fancies, or Politick. Ends of some sort of People with the Harlotry of his prostituted Pen.

Imprimis Receivedl.s. 
By a Note into Lumbardstreet, Guineys1000000
Item, For burlesquing the Popish plot, and the King's Evidence from the Lords in the Tower0500000
Item, For defending the Protestant Faith better than the Sons of the Church can do, from Cambridge2500000
Item, More from Oxford2000000
Item, More from Norwich1700000
Item, More from Salisbury0900000
Item, More from Bristol1000000
Item, More by Madam Johannas yearly Tribute1500000
Summa totalis9600000

Now mingle all this Money well together, and tell me whether any Vintner or Coffee-man, Mercer, Taylor, or Haberdasher, be so quick-sighted in this Town, as to pick out the Popish from the Protestant Money? or if he should, whether any would be so scrupulous, as to re­fuse it for the sake of the two Cross Scepters? But what's the pretence all this while? The fairest in the World, even Loyalty it self; which by virtue of a certain Crimson Charm, these State-Pharisees would so engross to them­selves, as if all true Loyalty were confin'd within the Circle of a Scarlet Stayband. Had it not been for an Ob­servator and an Heraclitus, Heav'n knows what had be­come of the Kingdom ere this. Had not they stood in the Gap, and rais'd monstrous Plots, horrid Contrivances, desperate Inventions, and providentially discover'd them, when they had done; had not they Erected vast Bulky [Page 3] Piles of Surmises, Leviathan Fears and Jealousies all over the Nation, and then pull'd 'em down again, the Land had been overwhelm'd with Fanaticism, and delug'd with Li­berty and Property. God forbid Gentlemen, but Faction and Disloyalty should be punish'd with the utmost Rigour of the Law; But for the Loyalty of the greatest part of the Nation, and most considerable for Wealth and Trade, to be blasted and tainted with the venomous breath of Mercenary Scandal and Reproach, what is this but the greatest Disloyalty i'the World, to unrivet the Affections of the People, and Eloin their Allegiance from their So­veraign? Certainly, were Disloyalty such a General Crime, it could not be the bleating of a Feeble Observator, or a Shatter-brain'd Heraclitus, that could stem the Torrent of Universal Resolution. But to come to the point; if Dis­obedience to the King's Law be an Act of Disloyalty, as no man will presume to deny, I find none more guilty then these Primroses of Loyalty themselves. For the King's Positive Law enjoyns, That no person or persons shall pre­sume maliciously to call or alledge of, or object against any other person or persons, any Name or Names, or other words of Reproach any way tending to revive the Memo­ry of the late Differences, or the Occasions thereof.

But contrary to this Law, now, put but your Nose in­to any Company, What's such a one? A Whigg, G—dam him. What's such a one? A Fan. G—rot him. What's such a one? A Tantivy-man. That's well, He's one of Us. What's such a one? A Tory. The Devil take me, if I did not think him an honest Fellow by his looks. Sbud, these Whigs, and these Fans, they have different Faces from other men. Then cries one, Would they were all at the bottom of the Sea. Another wishes for a Discreet Plague, to separate the Sheep from the Goats. Now what is this, but to embroile common Friendship [Page 4] and humane Society? which once unhing'd, farewel Law; and farewel all Allegiance. Yet upon this Foundation the Observator rears the Fabrick of all his weekly Ribble-rab­ble. Whiggs he will have, and Whiggs he must have, and who can blame him? For, quo he, no Whigg, no Gui­ney.

This King in his Proclamation against vicious, debauch­ed and prophane Persons, dared in the 12th Year of his Reign, is pleased to declare his Royal Will and Pleasure to this effect

There are likewise another sort of men, of whom we, have heard much, and are sufficiently ashamed, who spend their time in Taverns, Tipling houses and Debauches, gi­ving no other Evidence of their affection to Us, BUT IN DRINKING OUR HEALTH, and in­veighing against all others, who are not of their own dis­solute Temper; and who in truth have more DISCRE­DITED OUR CAUSE, by the License of their Manners and Lives, than they could ever advance it by their Affection or Courage. We hope that they will here­after become Examples of Sobriety and Virtue. For the more effectual reforming these men who are a Discredit to the Nation, and unto any Cause they pretend to favour and wish well to, We require all Mayors, Sheriffs, Justices, to be vigilant in their Prosecution, &c.

But in contempt of all this, 'tis now, Dam me won't ye drink the Kings Health? Dam me drink it, or I'le throw the Glass in your Face▪ Now it being certain that Loyalty does not consist in drinking Tavern Healths, it follows then, that the Peek is not between Loyalty and Disloyalty, but between Huzzah-Loyalty, ranting, roar­ing, damming, swearing Loyalty, and sober, serious, so­lid, and temperate Loyalty. And that's the Loyalty that [...] the King and Kingdom, though there were [...] drop of Claret i'the Nation.

[Page 5]His Majesty himself was pleased to declare in His Gracious Declaration about Ecclesiastical Affairs, p. 5▪ (and the say­ings of Princes are not without a coercive Awe among prudent Persons) That while he was in Holland, he was attended by many grave and learned Ministers from Eng­land, who were lookt upon as the most able and principal Assertors of the Presbyterian Opinions, and to Our great satisfaction and comfort found them persons full of affecti­on to Us, of Zeal for the Church and State, and neither Enemies to Episcopacy or Liturgy, but modestly to desire such alterations in either, as without shaking the Founda­tions might best allay the present Distempers,

Sir Mathew Hales left them this Encomium, Many of the Presbyterians had merited highly in the business of the Kings Restauration, and at least deserved, that the terms of Conformity should not be made stricter than they were before the War.

One would think now that the King might be believed. No: if the King don't understand his own business, the Observator and Heraclitus do: For Mr, L'Estrange confi­dently avers in one of his late Observators, that the See the King's Speech to the Lords July, 27. 1660. for hastning the Act of Oblivion. Presbyterians had no hand in bringing in the King, ('tis a wonder he did not deny his own name, and shift off Tonge that way, and so have spar'd his silly Sham­mer shamm'd.)

Therefore the Presbyterians are Traitors, and Fana­tick▪ and the Kingdom is to be dispeopl'd with their ut­ter Extirpation. What a loyal Orlando Furioso is this, thus to tilt against the publick Declaration and Judgment of the King himself, and the Oracle of his Laws. As if he were a Guide to the supream Magistrates of the King­dom, as well as the inferiour Clergy.

After all this Gentlemen, pray consider Whether they [Page 4] [...] [Page 5] [...] [Page 6] that will not be confin'd to any Laws, Proclamations or Declarations themselves, are proper Persons to vent their Buffonry against the pretended Disloyalty of others.

But what's become of the Popish Plot all this while? Oh! The Triumvirate of Whigg-hunters are better em­ployed, than to mouth against that Cerberus has had a Sopp, and is engag'd to be quiet; Nay he does as good as confess, he believes nothing of it. For in his Observator, N. 92. says Whigg, You alwaies take the pains as much as in you lies to hide the Plot, To which Tory re­plies, Not the tenth part upon my faith, as I have done to find it out. Truly 'twas pity a man should be so be Be-Gad­bury'd in his old Age. Surely never did so wonderful a Cataract befilm the Eyes of Mortal Man before▪ He could find out a blind Plot in a Meal-Tub, but could not see a Plot that was visible to the whole Nation. However since His Majesty and his two Houses of Parliament had found it out, he might have had so much manners, as to have be­liev'd his Prince, and his Acts of publick Justice, as well as the Lords i'the Tower. The to'ther's a profest Papist, and he swears there is no Popish Plot, upon the Credit of Madam Baud, and her Condemn'd-Fellow-Jayl-Birds in Newgate. An ill requital of delay'd Justice, For such Te­nants at Will, to feed the Press of a hungry Varlet with weekly Lies, and Forgeries. The third a Pusillanimous Mortal, that lies snarling at present only against the Evi­dence, hoping to come in for a snack in the next Tower Guin­nies, when they shall think him to have credit, or wit enough to serve their turn.

And these are the Loyal Persons, that one would have thought might have chosen a Nobler Theme, to have de­cry'd the reiterated Periuries, Forgeries, and Subornati­ons of the Papists; to have turn'd their fury against the Scandalous and publick Vindications of their Treasons [Page 7] and Conspiracies, to have maintain'd their Soveraigns Honour, and the Justice of his Supreme Courts of Judica­ture, and not to leave both him and them exposed to the malevolent inferences and impudent insinuations of his Capital Enemies.

Now what says that Backbiter in Ordinary to the De­vil, Heraclits? E'ne what you please, 'tis such a pitiful Wight, that he is scarce worth taking notice of. He may serve for some Zany to a Mountebank, to jest off Medicines for the Tooth-ach to the Rabble in Southwark. Or else couple him with some blind Fidler, and send 'em toge­ther about the Country to go snips at Wakes and Hobnayle Weddings. For, Faith, Wine's ill bestowed upon him here in London, that does not deserve the weekly Wages of a Peny-post-man, for a Months Brain-Work; were he only meer Fool he might deserve Commiseration, and the re­version of a Changelings Place in some Country Alms-House; but the Serpenting Mixture being more predomi­nant, he cannot expect it. However some good Friend of his would do well to advise him to give off in time, before his snuff quite stink.

As for Mr. All-Conceit. alias Mr. Steers man of the Hen­peckt Fregate, most men are of opinion, he had better have stock't his Shop with the Saints Everlasting Rest, then thus to the shame of his Trade, and the publick di­sturbance, to run every day Scaperloytering after a Penni­worth of Lowsy Farce, and the restless, and Pragmatical Employment of being a Silly Libeller, and Common Ac­cuser; an Employment more fit for a Rascally Informer, or some such Retainer to the Gallows. An Employment from which, such Revolters from their Substantial Livelyhoods, can in the end expect no other kindness, then a Recom­mendation to the Under-Beadles Place i'the Company, or to be Tip-Staff'd over the water to keep a Coffee-House i'the [...]les.

[Page 8]And now what may the world think of these People, that so tamely, and so easily surrender their belief, and ad­miration to the Charms of Quirk and Quibble; or that can be so blind, as not to perceive with what different aims from their Pretensions they drive on their designs, and that so apparently, that there need no more then the Flashes of their own fury to discover 'em.

In the first place there is that Wizard, Gadburies Astro­logical Jargonrie, Printed for the Loyal Company of Sta­tioners themselves, stufft from the beginning to the end with nothing but lies, and Popish Vindication; and yet neither the Loyal Observator, nor the Loyal Heraclitus take any notice of it.

Here are Castle mains Memento's, and Staffords Memoires, publickly Printed, and Sold by Protestant Booksel­lers, to the dishonour, and scandal of the King and Parlia­ment, and yet neither the Loyal Observator, nor the Loyal Heraclitus take any cognizance of it.

The Journeymen Prologue and Epilogue-makers openly deride the Discoveries of Heaven in the Play Houses, and yet neither the Loyal Observator, nor the Loyal Hera­clitus have one word to say.

There is hardly any publick Meeting or Assembly of the People, wherein the bold Emissaries of Pope and De­vil do not barefac'd act their parts, and make the Grand Plot▪ and intended Parricide of Gods anointed, the sub­ject of their merry Sarcasms, and the Theams of their Philistine Paeans. Popery struts along the Streets open­ly by Noon-day Sun, and Treason sneers ye in The Face, and twits ye with the effusion of Holy Martyrs Blood.

Can the Sons of the Church of England so Passively hear the Reformed Religion abroad, and all its pious Profes­sors derided, and their Reputation blasted by a Vermin of a Figure-Caster, and not give one gentle admonition to [Page 9] their Great Guide, to bestow one cast of his Office upon so infamous an Enormity?

These considerations should cause a Recoil of over hasty and passionate thoughts; which, were they seriously fixt upon the present Confusions of the Nation, it is impossible that the Libels, the Rimes, the Ballads, the Pamphlets, that at such an unfortunate Conjuncture overflow the Na­tion, and spit their quotidian Venome against the Dis­senters, so numerous a Body of the Kings Liege People, and so deeply engaged by all the ties of common Interest, to oppose, and with all their might withstand the Ene­mies of their Prince and Soveraign, Defender of their Faith, as their own and the Capital Enemies of the King­doms Quiet, should ever be imagined to be the inventions of Loyalty, or that the Owners and Contrivers should be guilty but of so much Allegiance, as will outweigh a Mustard Seed, let their pretences be never so zealous or high-flown. The Romish Policy keeps to no Maxim of Christ so close, as to that of a Divided House cannot stand; Nor have the Roman Pontiffs studied the Arts of National disturbance so long, but that they well know, that the Protestant Interest in England is not to be destroyed but by Self-destruction, which they who un­der pretence of Loyalty make it their business to farther advance, it were to be wish'd they would keep their Loy­alty to themselves, or practise it in some other Country, under some more undeserving Prince.


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