A Satyrical Vision, OR, Tragy-Comedy AS IT Was lately Acted in the City of BRISTOL, Discovered in a DREAM.
By E: Phileroy.
LONDON, Printed by G. Croom, for the Author. 1684.
TO THE Poor Dejected, and Despairing BRETHREN: THE Dissenting CREW in General, under what Names or Titles soever, they desire to be Dignified, or Distinguished.
I Know not to whom I could more properly make the Dedication of the following Poem, since it seems naturally to crave your protection, not only as you are the Subject of it, but because its palpable you have endeavourd to monopolize every thing that has but the appeareance of a Fault: so that tis but rational to infer that you are able to bear mine too, tho never [Page]so Numerous in this Poem, which I must confess was done in Raptim, and therefore must have the greater need of such Patrons; not but that its an unquestioned Verity that you have a sufficient stock of your own, without any addition of mine: For who (in the Divels Name) has been the fomenters of all feuds and Animosities in this Nation? But you: Who the Authors, and Abetters of all things that may seem to oppose the common Tranquillity? But you: Who has endeavourd by all that Hell and Malice could invent, to make our Streets blush in Innocent Bloud, and Involve it once more into its Oliverian Chaos? But you: Who I say, has endeavourd the Total Subversion of Monarchy, the Ruine of three Kingdoms, the distruction of Religion it self, and the undoing of all that Dare to be its Proselytes? But you: So that by these and other your unparalelld Villanies (too Numerous to Incert) you have put Hell to a non-plus, and the Divels, themselves into Distraction and Amazement, to see themselves out done, and all [Page]together incapable of preparing a place for your reception, adequate to the Worse then Scythian Cruelties that you have, and would have perpetrated.
But not to make the Porch bigger then all the Fabrick, I shall conclude with this Charitable Prayer, may Poyson be your Drink, and Toads, worse than Toads your cheifest Delicacies, may your Names be Eternally Obliterated from Honours Book, may your Curse, but equalize your defects, and as you have ever made Bloud your Bolster to lye on, so let Insupportable Greifs be your Play-fellows and Inseparable Companions.
To the Loyal READERS.
THere having been never any thing so dismally represented to my Iuvenile Imaginations, as the late Horrid Proceedings of the Dissenting Crew in General, and Jack Presbiter in particular, I thought I was oblig'd upon all occasions to Expose its Abetters; especially, since they have been pleased to reiterate all their Pristine villanies in the late Discovered formidable Plot, against the best of Kings and Governments, and how farr this Citty has been Concern'd, I suppose it would be Tautology in the Highest to Incert.
But you great Souls of Numbers (whom Apollo has made Heirs to his ever Verdant Tree) tis you, I say must Pardon my Pen-Featherd-Muse (who I fear by the following unbak'd Poem has made Helicon a Puddle not a Spring) and I doubt it not, when you Consider that she was willing to attempt some thing, nay resolved that these Miscreants Exit should be attended with a Sheet
But Gentlemen being unwilling to detain you longer with Impertinences, I shall only pray, that the Fates would be pleased to be so kind as to graunt me this small Request: That when I shall be matriculated amongst the Dead, (if that with Pythagoras, there be a Metempsychosis) that they would send my soul into a Cat, Porpois, or Owl: rather than any of these Religious Alchymists, these Atheists against Earthly Gods [Page]
To this Prayer, I shall only subjoin my Resolution, which in short is to profess my self Eternally,
TO HIS Ingenious Friend Phileroy, on his Satyrical Vision a Copy of which was exposed and derided.
A Satyrical Vision,
POSTSCRIPT.
YOur Pardon Gentlemen, for Faith my Aiery Genious was not so trusty, as I imagined, (as I had like to have found to my cost;) For going the other day to hear what News; I was accosted by a Diminitive Book-Seller, who came quivering and trembling, (as doth the Earth when Neptune strikes,) and cryed Justice; For that he was left out in the preceding Poem: whereas (consideratis considerandis,) he had deserved it as much as any; I told him he should have Justice done: Vpon which, I have presumed to subjoin this additional Character.
WEll then, to begin with my Gentleman, He is a True Iack-a-Lent that is so charitable to lond a light to others, but himself nothing but a Vapour: And if ever the Devil appeared in our times like a Samuel, it is he: For take him as to his appearance he may be tolerably honest; but when Opus, and Usus, are the case (so it may be privately secured or obtained,) He begs your Pardon, and is a Devil with an Emphasis: That is to say a True Whigg: So that like the Apples of Sodom to look on, he may be fair and delectable, but come to the Test is wholly putrified: Take him in his return from a Tavern, he will make an Excellent Lawyer, for he ever makes Indentures as he goes: There is a great disproportion between his head and his glass, the former being ever empty, but the latter full, provided it be at other mens charges: He is an Exact Italian in Carnival Time, one side of him French, and the other Spanish; for when a Whig comes he is True-blew, but if Loyalty appear he is then as true as Steel; So that with the Marygold he follows the Sun, and opens and shuts with that that is uppermost. If we may term a Cypher any thing, he may then pretend to be something; for he was ever such in the Accompts of all that have tryed him, if so we may [Page 11]soon summe up all that concerns him, which in short may be thus: Newgate (as long as he lives) is The Golledge he belongs to, whither he hourly expect; to be sent for, in order to be matriculated, The Gallows when he dies) his unavoidable Receiver, and Hell (after his Exit,) his most certain Ne plus ultra, where he will undoubtedly cheat Pluto, (as he did all that dwelt with him upon Earth,) for Quivering, Shaking, and Gnashing of Teeth, he hath so familiarized himself to here because he hath resolved they small be no punishment to him hereafter. But more particularly;
As to his Parentage, he was begot by Proteus on a Chamelion, and for his Religion it is to chuse: for hee'l Conform, Perform, Reform into any Form, so as he may be Viccar of Bray, (that is, so as he may be kept from breaking,) yet to give the Devil his due he is so Religious, that he never awakes but with this Godly Letany in his mouth, from unfill'd Canns, and empty Bowls, Libera me; for full ones are now as Natural to him as a Cittern is to a Barber, which, rather then want he would chuse all the Plagues of Ae [...]gip: He is resolved to Sympathise with his Trade, and hath therefore bound himself up in Sheep Skin, (and is a Sot) in Folio: He is such a super-annuated Sardanapalus, that I Question if the Plague was a Woman, whether he would stick to Court it, for so, 3 might be saved (i: e: himself, Bacchus, and Vanus) he cares not if the World runs into it's Pristine Deluge again.
In fine, as to his valour it's great. For he is Cozen German to the Satyr that fell dead at the noise of his own Horn, for going the other day through a Street, his Sword happened to touch his Leg, at which he was struck into such an unwonted amazement, that his Limbs were imediately disjointed and un-nerved: From which perceiving he is never able to disengage himself, I must there leave him Quivering and Shaking till Time it self shall have.