THere was a Gentleman in this Town of a compleat Wit, and plea­sant Behaviour, a Person very fortunate in the Love of Women, and in all respects very Oblieging towards them, save that he wanted the government of the Tongue; for no sooner could he receive a Closet-kindness from his Mistris, but he would instantly boast of his success, and that with such Circumstances as added most to the glory of the Conquer­our, without any regard to the Reputation of the Vanquished; which dissolute kind of carriage, as it could not but be taken very unkindly from the Ladies, so at last it proved very unfortunate to himself.

GOing this Summer to Epsom, whether for the de­light somness of the Ayr, the benefit of the Wa­ters, or the pleasure he took in the Company, I know not, nor is it material; but being there, he became acquainted with a young Lady, beautiful in her Per­son, and pleasant in her Conversation. This Spark of London, had scarce been twice in her company, but from the success he had always met with, he concluded her his own, and accor­dingly suiting his addresses to his confidence, he apply'd him­self to her in a more familiar way then became the slender­ness of his acquaintance, or the nature of his pretence; which attempt so far incens'd her, that if ever he should offer the like incivility again, she protested he should never see her more. He somewhat surprized with the unusual, (and there­fore unexpected) coyness, had a months mind at one time to have called her proud slut, and to have Antidated her there­at by leaving her immediately; But upon better considerati­on, [Page]finding so much beauty in her [...], and Majesty [...] anger, he thought it more pollicy to dissemble his present re­sentment, then to frustrate his future hopes, and therefore in excuse of himself, he began to swear very liberally, That he offered that rudeness only to try her modesty, he confessed he had sometimes made use of those Town-fooleries for the Diversion of such as lik'd the humour; but for his part he nei­ther hop'd nor believed that a person of her Circumstances could be plea [...]'d with such a kind of Dalliance; assuring her withal (as far as Damme's would do it) that in complyance with those strict rules of Chastity she profest to walk by, he would never for the future speak or act any thing but what might correspond with the most unblemisht Vertue. Which protestations of his somewhat cleared up her clowdy Brow: and tho' she could hardly be Friends with him that After­noon, yet she told him upon his better behaviour for the fu­ture, that he might still hope not to be turned out of her ser­vice. Hereupon our gallant began to proceed with more Caution in his designs, and to bear a greater respect to her than formerly, behaving himself so modestly in his expres­sions, and so obliegingly in his actions, that he gained a more than ordinary esteem from his Dearest, and he had at last so far won upon her by the art ficial disguise of chastity, that she would many times trust her self alone with him in her chamber, at hours so unseasonable, as might have created a suspition of any Womans vertue but hers. This when our vig [...]lant You [...]gster had perceived, he thought it in vain to daily any longer, resolving to take the Fort by Treachery, if he could not do it by Treaty, and in order thereto concluded upon the following Adventure.

Prevailing with her one day to take a walk in the Park, and coming to a shady bank (no matter for the purling Streams, and Warbling Chori [...]hers,) they sat down in a place very agreeable to the innocence of her design, and but too conve­nient. [Page] [...] of prittle prattle they had, but that one [...] will be so inquisitive to ask how I came to hear it. But Discourse they had, that's certain; and 'tis a hundred to one but that 'twas one Love Story or other, for at last it came to this; The young Gentleman gathering a blade of Grass, and applying himself to the Lady, ask'd her if she could break it with her hands; There's no question to be made, but reply'd Yes: But without many I [...]s and And's, it came to a wager (which the most judicious affirm to be a Bottle of Claret,) that he would tye her Thumbs so fast with it, that neither by the strength of her Arms nor her wit, she should be able to break or untye it: This concluded on, he palm'd a Green Ribbon upon her, made so artificially like a blade of Grass, that it could very hardly be distinguished; and with this ty'd her Thumbs so firmly, that to her great admiration she was forced to confess the Wager lost: but he like a fair Game­ster to give her a revenge, offer'd another bottle, that if she would suffer him to put her arms over her head, she could not kiss her Elbow. Loosers you know play commonly with­out fear or wit, for she had no sooner consented, but she found not only the wager lost, but somthing else she valued I can't tell how much more, in a great deal of danger; for the Ad­venturer taking her at this advantage, began to use a forced dalliance, and to apply himself to her in a pritty familiar way that he had, which I shall leave every man to guess at, by what he would have done had he been in his place: As to the Ladies I know they'l be warranting the sad toss she was in, and at the same time both pittying and envying her Con­dition. Therefore to disappoint neither one nor the other, the Story says she cryed out Murder, but withal, that she Dyed only in the phrase of modern Poets; for she quickly came to her self again, being only a little over-heated, like a Colt newly back'd, by endeavouring to throw her Rider; and com­plaining [Page] [...] desire her Gallant (unkind as he was) to Unlace her Gown, and to give her the benefit of the air, bitterly upbraiding him all the while with the baseness of the action; what have you done, quoth she, inhumane Ravisher? ingrateful wretch that you are! first to bind me, and then to rob me of my greatest Treasure. He not caring to make much ado about nothing, prethee be quiet (says he) and i'le repay thee with Interest, look you do then, replyed the tender-hearted soul, and so giving him her hand, they walked very lovingly home again to perticipate of her loosings.

Hitherto all was well, and like enough to continue so, if this babling Coxcomb could but have held his Tongue; but he had the vanity of some other (indeed most) Gallants, whose humour is so far from concealing any successful a­mour, that they will boast of kindnesses they never received, rather than not gain the reputation of being debauc'd: so he, big with the conceit of what he had done, found an oppor­tunity (or indeed made one) of telling the whole adventure the same evening to an old Crony of his, that had been a con­stant admirer of his continued success. This Gentleman it seems had been an antient servant of the Ladies, I mean had attempted to debauch her for a long time; and therefore up­on the relation of the whole matter, the person being named, and the action described at large, it is but rational to suppose him a little concern'd, not only that he should be disappoint­ed in his hopes, but out-done at his own weapon: And to manifest that he was so, though he seemingly Laugh'd at the pleasantness of the adventure, yet he resolved upon the first opportunity, to discover the abuse if it were a Lye, or if truth, to put in for the later-match of her affection. The day follow­ing, meeting with her either by search or accident, though she never cared for his company or address, he prevailed with her by some importunity to hear this unwelcome story, which [Page] [...] and being a little helped by the impertinence of the Relator, she gained time to recover her senses well enough to persuade him the story was false, resolving at the same time to cry quits with Mr. Tell-Tale when time should serve, but for the present not to seem to take notice of the Discovery. And for a day or two after pretending a greater fondness to her Gallant for the sake of what had past; it was now her turn to desire him to take a walk to the same place they were at the other day, to which he readily consented; and I defie the crossest Reader in Christendom to suppose otherwise. Being come to a place she chose out as most convenient for the de­sign in hand, she desired him to sit down, and after a little amorous impertinence, thus began to insinuate with him: Love, says she, shall I tye thy hands as thee didst mine the other day, but you are so strong i'le do it with my Gatter in­stead of Grass, this was easily consented to: Ah you Rogue, continued she, i'le tye your Legs too, 'twill be no hindrance, Sirrah; Ha▪ this was but a modest request: Now my Dear, says she, put your hands over you [...] head as I did; that done, she takes an opportunity to tye them fast to the stump of a Bush; the Fellow all this while pleased with the Con­ceptions he had of the amorous Stratagem, lay stock still, ab­solutely imagining her design to be much like his, in what re­semblance the diversity of the Sex was capable of; But, silly Ass, he found himself damnably deceived, for by the austerity of her countenance, he found anger a passion more predomi­nent in her then Love, especially when she began to threaten him in a more unpleasant dialect then perhaps became either her Sex or quality; for though in civility we may call it chiding, in plain terms 'twas no better nor worse then down­right Scolding; The Names she had dissembled over but even now, she again repeated, but in such a tone as quickly gave him [Page] [...] Rogue you, I'le teach you to Kiss and tell; could not [...] content to debauch me, but you must Scandalize me to? to rob me not only of my vertue, but likewise of my good name▪ I'le make you an Example for all such Villains as you are. More she said to this purpose as near as I can guess, (for to tell you the truth I did not hear her) and to make her words good she drew out a very sharp Pen-knife, now, says she, what would you think Mr. Cock [...]y if I should make a Capon of you? and hang me if I don't shew the Londoner such a trick, he shall remember the Country all days of his life; with that she gave him such a touch of Love, in the part that your Al­manack-makers call Scorpio, and your Anatomists Scrotum: that it is verily said by sober personages, that he never had a mind to Wench after: So rising up from the poor Eunuch, the Ironical Baggage did so raunt at him, that some writers affirm it went to the very heart of him: alas Sir, says she, how you bleed! What are you wounded? I fear you have been fighting for my sake, I have a pair of Blood-stones here, pray take 'em and hang 'em about your Neck, while I run and send you a Chyrurgion, which it seems she did in kindness to herself, not to him: The Chyrurgion making a speedy cure of his Wound, the Lady at the same time, in some measure salved up the wounds of her reputation, for she hath sealed up the mouth of the Actor so close, that 'tis generally believed he will speak no more of this matter; so that though the story be very true, in the general as I have related it, yet as to the particular persons concerned, I desire you would not urge me to the discovery of them, for I protest I k [...]ow not who they are.