UPon the intimation of Belphegor, at a grand Consult held in Pluto's Infernal Palace, the Black Hall of Erebus, of the great and many Services, a certain instrument of his black Highness had done for the good of his said Highness, and for the benefit and advance­ment of the Affairs of his Kingdom, in disturbance of the peace, tranquility and unity of the People where he dwells, by Talking and Writing; it being now a time, in which his sooty Highness used to gratify his ready Servants, he caused Belphegor to take a certain Beast out of his own Stable, for a Present to be sent to R.L.S. his dearly beloved instrument, to shew his gratitude, and to encourage his said Instrument and Operator to proceed; and an Order was, by the said Coun­sel, drawn up, for a Pass for Belphegor, to go as Pluto's Embassador, to present this Strange infernal Hobby-Horse (on which Pluto sometimes used himself to ride, when he went a Maggot-hunting) on the upper Stage of the World, to his beloved R.L.S. which rare beast was received, by the said use­ful instrument of his infernal Highness, with great respect, at the hands of his Ambassador Belphe­gor, acknowledging the high honour done him by many humble Remonstrances, promising to con­tinue, to the utmost of his power, his most humble Servant. And having feasted Belphegor with the fumes of Cit and Bumpkin, and some other the like Regalio's, and returned as a Present to his dark Highness, 3000 Observations in 82 Volumes, with an humble Petition for a Licencers Place in Tar­tarus, and a promise how diligent he would be in his Office, he dismissed Belphegor to his satisfacti­on, and he caused his Strange Beast, or 12 headed Monster to be locked up in his Aviary or Bird-Cage, in which he used to keep his harmonious, airy Notions, against whose Wires he used to rub the St. Gyles's cat's Noses, and where he causes him to be daily fed with Dissenters Livers, and Protestant Hearts, and where he is to be seen by all the World for a Penny a time, twice a Week, but on Holy-days at a Groat or Six Pence.

This Beast is of a Motley Breed being begot by Cerberus on Pope Joan; it has much the shape of his Father, somewhat bodied like a Dog, but spotted like a Leopard, with the Claws of a Lion, and Tayl of a Bear; instead of Three Heads he has a whole Jury of Twelve, on one great Neck like a Bulls. He has somewhat of his Dam in some of his Heads, having a Masqued Face, and a kind of a Romish Voice, belonging to most of them. He is perpetually in motion, almost night and day, and ever since the Squire has had him, he flyes about his Cage like a Squirrel: He desires very much to have some of the Breed, and has sent to the Tower, by Madam Celiers, for some of the Monsters there kept, that they may copulate to have Issue, and that he might have something new to shew his infernal Highness, when he shall appear before him. The conditions of this Beast are somewhat Strange, for he will fawn on his Master like a Spaniel; but if he sees a Whig or Protestant Dissenter, he grows outragious, and so turbulent and restless, barking, roaring and chattering, that he is e­nough to affright one that does not know him; his heads sleep by turns, some of them are ever on the Watch, making faces and grimaces, turning themselves into several mimical postures and shapes. He is very cruel where he can fix his Paws, and will devour 10 men at a Meal, if he could come at them. He hides his Claws like a Cat, till he can seize his Prey, and then he seldom lets go without drawing Bloud. Do but whistle the Tune of a Parliament, he pricks up his Ears, stretches out his Tayl, his hair stands Tayl up an end, he ruffs the Wind like a Wild Bull, and runs about as if he were mad; but if you name Ignoramus, being some Spell that works upon him, he falls a fart­ing, that you may hear him from the upper end of Holborn as far as Wapping: He has several o­ther Qualities too tedious to rehearse: but when he is best pleased, he runs butting with his 12000 Horns against every object; shew him but a Pamphlet, and he runs at it with might and main, his Heads are harder than a Roman Ram, and for a Wakeman Bribe he has promised the F. Embassa­dor to lend it to his Master to beat down the Walls of Luxenburgh; but he is first, as an Essay of his Strength, to overthrow a thing called Government at home, which is very strong and well-set [Page 2]and at which he is continually butting, tho as yet he has been able to effect little; some having exposed against his Horns whole Reames of Paper, defended by Charmes wrote in Ink, and Printed upon them, which oftentimes sets him on his Tayl, to observe another opportunity. His general name is Towzer, (some call him Trinkelo): some say he is a Mungril, some a Mastiff, some a Bull-Dog, others that he is but a Whiffling Cur, but I have already told you his Extraction, tho I cannot tell you who first gave him the name of Towzer. His 12 Heads have 12 several names, and are of several Natures, which I shall explain to you, belonging to the Dog Towzer, under which name all are comprehended.

The first Head is called Hodg, and he no sooner hears himself called upon, but he presently opens his Mouth, and belches out Rogue, Rascal, Villain, Traytor, Whig, Dissenter, Rebel, with a thousand the like Names: This Head Towzer made use of to invent Cit and Bumpkin to abuse both City and Country; 'tis a Clownish name under a gentle garb, and seems as full of Courtship as of ill man­ners; can when he pleases, give good words, as well as ill speeches; this Head has the face of a Buff­oon on one side, and of a States-Man on the other, and has a double row of Teeth in his mouth, with which he chews Plots, till they come out of his Mouth all Mealy, as if they had been in the Meal-Tub. Speak of a Popish Plot and he seems mealy mouthed, and licks the Five Jesuites Speech­es into the Shape of Innonency; speak of a Presbyterian Plot, and Hodge gapes and shews you on the Top of his Tongue in great Letters branded Forty Eight, and slaps a Pottle of Foam on your Face, enough to poyson you.

The second Head of Towzer is named Don Rugiero Knight of the Lying Oracle: It is a long name, having one of the Seven deadly Sins for his God-Father: This is a most useful Head, for without it Towzer could do nothing. He much admires himself in this vertuous Head, and values himself much upon his ingenuity; 'tis a kind of a Gygantine Head, erected with as much Pride and Gravity as a Bon of Spain: he is still belching out Lyes, Stories, Untruths mixed with many Fables, Roman­ces, De Quevedoes, with some Blasphemies intermixed. There is in it a great Talkative Devil which will not leave chattering from one end of the Week to the other, and yet hardly speaks one word, of truth in all that time.

The next head is called Observator, (near of Kin to the Knight of the Craving Fob, which is a far more cogent argument for plaguing the world with his Pamphlets than all the Loyalty he boasts of) and this I assure you the Beast Towzer is not a little proud of, carrying it alof in the air, tho it has but the braines of a Butter-fly. Twice a week this head speaks, he has not spoken above 82 times in all his life, but then he claws away the Whiggs, and the Protestant Dissenters, and is almost continually crying between whiles Bew Waw, Waw, 41, 41 have a care of 41. This Observator has very little, but sharpe eyes, he can see through a Milstone, and spye a mote no bigger then the claw of a Flea, in a Dissenters Conscience. This head has a Divelish swallow, ten thousand Non-con­formists will not fill his Gorge, and swarmes of Presbyterians are no more to him then a few Sprats in a Whales belly. He keeps a continual Watch upon the motion of a Whigs tayl: they can scarce piss for him, and nothing can be done in Town or Countrey but he observes it: he holds this head sa high as the Dragon on Bow, and is something like him, often varying his point, yet hard as Iron, not to be wrought upon by sence or reason. Old Nick allows this head a pension of Silver Sops, to make him long winded, or else they say he had long since lest yelping. Upon his Tongue lies a thick foame of Malice and Revenge, which is a kind of Man-bane, and is as poysonous as Aconite. There is a certain laughing fellow, with his two men Jest and Earnest, that with sponges wipes it from his mouth, which they squeeze into a Dialogue to poyson the people.

The name of the next head is Puss Flogger, he seemes to be somewhat younger then the rest, yet some say it is at least 40 years old, and that it was given him by the women; but of late Towzer having worried the St. Gyles's Catts, who came a Catterwawling to him, when he was grown past Action, they give him that name. It has a very Tyrannical look, and something like Bonner, when he whipt the man in his Coale hole: Speak to him and he presently spits in your face, and shews a row of sharpe teeth like sawes, and cryes, Put the Laws in Execution, whip the Dissenting Catts, Claw' um away with Ropes and Halters, Fire & Faggot: Against the Popish Successor come he has got a petition drawn & ready printed by N. T. to be general Whipmaster of the Hereticks.

The next head was named by Towz [...]rs own self, all the other heads put on it the title of Guide to the i [...]feriour Clergy: This has a kind of a Pedants face, very proud, self conceited, foolish, and ridiculous, and upon it a square Cap; he nods gravely if he sees a young Gown man, speakes sen­tences, and if he be a Tantivy, gently lickes him over the face: He draws Rules with his mouth, and barks continually of the Church of England, but when he gapes he showes Rome in his Throat, and a Pope & Cardinals in Procession;

Then the 6th. head eminently shews it self above the rest, called the Popish Masquerader. This is a very Divel in a Dublet, with a black Maske before his face, with a Canker'd tongue: [...]olling out of its mouth, with a thousand little State flyes sucking its venom, which they disperse buz [...]ng in Sam's Coffee House: on his forehead is writ in Capital Letters, A Church of England Chri­stian: he has a great Roman nose which snoute he thrusts out of his Masque. If he sees a Jesuit he barks, A Divine. If he sees a Non-conformist Minister he falls a howleing Rebel, Traytor, & Divel, with such Hellish & hideous roars, that he out does Cerberus: He has three forked Tongues, one p [...]a [...]e in Mode and Figure of the Church of England established by Law: The other hisses with a gentle [Page 3]note, against Rome hardly to be heard; the other howles, curses and Banns Calvin, and his ad­herents: He is often given to belching of Presbyterian Plots, and the sight of a certain Doctor makes him disgorge, I know not how many things call'd Shams, to cover a Popish Plot. He is still slavering at the mouth, and they say he wants wormeing, which none dares undertake, unlesse the Devill would hold his Tongue with a pair of pincers, for it cuts like a saw, being harder then a file, sharp as a razor, with this he licks up a Mans good name, and grinds it with Slander. He often chews the Cud like a clean beast: and ruminates on a word till it becomes trite: True-Protestant he sends up with Hyckups, and g [...]pes sometimes as if he had the Pip: He has six sets of Teeth, with which he grinds the Protestant Pamphleteers to powder: A sett of Protestant Bookselle [...]s and a packet from Rome with a Protestant Observator in sippits is an Oglio he much feeds on till he surfeits, and then the next day he is sure to vomit nothing but Ink gall, and vineger: Sometimes he grins, but 'tis alwayes at some unlucky accident, or at a Lye of the Loyal Intelligences makeing; which he will with his foreteeth dissect most artificially. His mouth is as good as a Microscope, it will magnifie a gnat to the bigness of a Pegasus, and shred you out an Address, till 'tis heardly to be fathom'd. He is apt to bark in his sleep, and if any body awakens him, he falls on howling & disturbs the whole Town again. Nothing will quiet him but the name of a Parliament, and then he shrinkes his head into his belly, and turns into the Netherlands.

The next is a Pe [...]t-head with a whimsical face, something like that usually Car'vd at the end of a Violin, or a base Viol, and he is called Fidler: he is always makeing of mouths in Symphony; he observes his Crochets, and sometimes sings a Santas beyond Ela. He prickes up his ears, & shakes his horns, if he heares the name of old Nol. He is given to play too much of one Time Forty One which he squeeks out with a hideous noyse and turning up his nose like a Bull after he has smell to the tayle of a Cow. He has all the motions of a Jack pudding, and his Chaps make as good Musick as the gridiron & tongs. He loves to be a [...]ir [...]d and pointed at, tho his voyce is grown very hearse of late, in singing Absolom & Achitophel. He loves much to have a Fidleing Dialogue in his Mouth, and naturally whisles Questions and A [...]swers.

The Title of the next is Cr [...]c [...] fart, and is ever makeing a noyse like a Cart wheele that wants greasing. He has an horrible stinking breath, and smells worse than a Jakes that is new emptied. His Chap are blown up like a bladder, out of which he squeezes Papistical farts, to blow away the Pro­testant cause, and now and then he poures out whole peales against an Ignoramus Jury: He is like Boreas ever blustring, and looks as big at a Criminal Printer, as Aeolus himself. At first at the Cracking of his farts the people were afraid, thinking at thundered, but since they have been used to it, they are no more concerned then at Hooting of an Owle. The Hawkers (a certain kind of squeeking Animals) adore this head and worship it like the golden head of Daniels Image, gathering his farts together in paper sheets, which they vent for brass fa [...]things.

The next Head, once glorious and brisk, now hangs on o [...]e side, as if listening for the com­ing of S. George on Horseback out of the North; This Head is called the Press-Inqu [...]sitor. He has been very sick of late, being given over by the State-Quacks; dying Yexes appearing: But this Head being shaven by a Jesuitical Razor, and a Cap of quilted Hops put Plaster wise upon it, the poor thing begins to leer a little on one side. The Name of a Protestant Pri [...]ter, or a private Press makes him start: One Mad [...]n Joan is now his best Nurse since he could do no good on the Printers Wife, for she denied him a Sop in the Pan which he longed for. He hath made a League with the Pope's Printer, and both sometimes drink together out of the Hoof of an Asse: He is apt to dream, and then in his sleep acts the part of a [...]ust-asse among the Printers, but when he awakes and finds it a Dream, he grows sick and falls a spewing.

The next is an indefatigable Head that never winckes, and is called the Popes Secretary. He writes Dialogues, Appeals, Histories, Observations, and a thousand other things—with his Tongue; at the end of which he carries a Goose-quill, like the sting of a Wasp; this he dips into a hole in his nether Chap, fill'd with Infernal Ink, mixt with Venom of Toads, Spiders, and Asps, and then draws Characters, Satyrs, and Observations on Dissenters. He is an Head of Dispatch; and will do more in an hour, than Coleman could in three moneths. He was born with his Goose-quill in his mouth, which is perpetually wagging, and writes faster than he who wrote with his feet. He is to dictate for the Secretary of State, when the Pope sets up his Throne in the Western Island, and till then he is fain to write for a small Pension. He employs several under-Scribes that are lodged in a certain Office called N [...]wgate, who sometimes turn his Rayling into Dogril.

The next Head of this Monster is of Kin to the last, and is called the Dissenters Register. He is a very filthy Beast, and has a very black Tongue, foul with licking of Sinks, Dunghills, Jakes, and Leistals; He lives upon Carrion; and is so greedy, that with his Teeth he d [...]gs persons out of their Graves: He seeks after Rottenness; and a wicked or unclean saying makes him laugh again; He has an excellent memory, and can quote you all the abominations since Adam. He has them by rote, and can sing them Dialogue-wise: 'Tis a snarling Cur, and snaps at every Body. He understands the Language of the Beast, and would have Obscenity to be placed among the Liberal Sciences; he has for all that but an hanging look, and begins to be troubled with a Le­thargy.

The last Head looks almost like an Irish Evidence, and squints as bad upon the Peace of the Go­vernment; 'Tis a bold, sawcy, impudent, malepert Head; and is called Tory: He makes a rumbling [Page 4]noise like a Wheel-barrow: his mouth is full of Oaths and Curses; and God dam me is his hourly Letany; He has a prodigious mouth, and a great head, which is stufft with Rodomontadoes; Whig is his Eternal Enemy which he hates as much as Cain did his Brother, and whom he would devour if he could come at him. He is a very carnivorous Canibal; and would make an Irish Meal of all the Whigs in Christendom. Name Geneva and he grows mad, and troublesom to all his Bro­ther-Heads: Rome is the onely Antidote for his Distemper, which he adores as the Elephant does the Moon. He loves neither Parliaments, nor Juries; and cries out, the King is as Absolute as the great Turk. He is of a Torrid and cruel Aspect, yet they say he is a meer Coward. He loves not Magna Charta. The Names of Property, Rights, and Privileges of the People, will put him into a fit of yelling not A. P—t. for Sr. R. Kt. and Bt. cause that's to be kept private un­til a meet season to divulge it (which is not to be stopped by any means, but by slinging a Sirre­verence into his mouth,) and then he falls on sputtering as if you had done him an injury. He loves to gulp down Healths, and then to belch up Faction: There is a flame steaming from his mouth, which he calls the Bane of Hereticks. He makes a great noise, and looks always as if he was drunk: He would be thought to roar like a Lyon, but his Voyce resembles the Braying of an Asse: He loves noise and confusion, and greedily desires to set the World together by the Ears; He cries up the Bishops, and the Church of England, but secretly receives Sops from Jesuites and Priests, and hopes onely in the Pope and a Popish Successour.