WIT RESTOR'D In seve …

WIT RESTOR'D In severall Select POEMS Not formerly publish't.

LONDON, Printed for R. Pollard, N. Brooks, and T. Dring, and are to be sold at the Old Exchange, and in Fleetstreet. 1658.


Mr. Smith, to Captain Mennis then commanding a Troop of Horse in the North, against the Scots.

WHy what (a good year) means my Iohn?
So staunch a Muse as thine ner'e won
The Grecian prize; how did she earne?
The bayes she brought from Epsom Fearne?
There teem'd she freely as the hipps,
The Hermit kist with trembling lipps.
And can she be thus costive now
While things are carried (heaven knowes how)
While Church and State with fury parch,
Or zeal as mad as hare in March?
While birds of Amsterdam do flutter
And stick as close as bread and butter:
As straw to Jett, or burre to squall,
Or something else unto a wall.
Can such a dreadfull tempest be,
And yet not shake the North and thee?
Where is thy sense, of publike feares?
Wil't sit unmov'd as Roman Peeres,
[Page] Till some bold Gaule pluck thee by th'beard,
Thou and thy Muse (I think) are sear'd,
As I have heard Divines to tell
The conscience is that's mark't for hell.
Ah Noble friend, this rough, harsh way
May pinch where I intended play.
But blame me not, the present times
So serious are, that even my Rymes
In the same hurry rapt, are so,
Indeed whether I will or no.
And otherwise my Numbers flie
Than meant, in spight of Drollerie:
Tis good to end when words do nipp
And thus out of their harnesse slipp.
Besides, the thing which men mispend
Call'd Time, as precious is as friend,
Tak't not unkindly, I professe
None loves you better then I. S.
From London where the snow hath bin
As white as milke, and high as shin
From Viscount Conwaies house in street
Of woman Royall, where we meet:
The day too cold for wine and Burrage
The fourth precedent to Plum-porrage
December moneth, and yeare of grace
Sixteene hundred and forty to an Ace.
To friend of mine, Captaine Iohn Mennis
At town of York that now and then is,
Or if you misse him there, go look
In company of Hunkes Sir Fook;
[Page 3] They two perhaps may have a pull
At Selbie, Beverley, or Hull,
Or else you'l finde him at his quarter,
Send it, and let him
Pay the Porter.

The same, To the same.

MY doubtie Squire of Kentissh crew
that ha'st read stories old and new
prick up thine eares unto a tale
that will un-nerve and make thee stale:
When thou shalt heare how manie pears,
The parliament hath had by th' eares.
Comming as close as shirt of Nessus,
To privie Councellors (god blesse us)
The Judges they are deep in bond,
And fart for fear they shall bee Connd,
The Ren of Elte, and the prelate
Of Bath and Wells have had a pellat
And they have plac't (his grace's) cod
Under the lash of Maxwoll's rod,
But I am told the Finch is warie
And fled after the Secretarie,
And all this is, that men may see
Others can runne as well as wee.
I hitherto have told, dear Captain,
Of prisons that our peeres are clapt in:
[Page 4] And all I wrote was like a groane
Sadd as the melanchollie droane.
Of Countrie baggpipe, now I sing
Matter as chearfull as the spring,
Of wine (deare freind) will make us wanton
Better nere drunck by Iohn of Gaunt, one
That at third glasse did mount his Launce
And gott a boy whose sonne got Fraunce:
Besides, the reckoning will bee more
(Humble I meane) then heretofore;
For now the Alderman hight Abell
Has given his parchment up with labell,
To no more purpose is his pattent
Then that the fool had shitt and sate in't:
Now may wee freely laugh, and drink,
And overcharg'd goe pisse i'th sinck
Then too't again, beginne a health
Of twelve goe-downes to th'Com-monwealth
Then mount a stall, and sleep, and when
Wee rise againe bee nere th' worse men:
This fitt's my freindshipp, but not mee,
I must bee sober as the Bee
That often sippes, yet doth not stray
But to his owne hive findes the way,
Soe shalt thou not blush to acknowledge
Him that was once of Lincolne-Colledge,
But now of Bromely Hall neere Bow
Look, and you'l find his name below.
I. Smith.
From spatious lodgings of Lord mine
In street of female majesty, past nine;
The day whereon wee whett our knives
As men to eat even for their lives.
He that ha's none tis time to borrow,
For Christmas day is ee'ne to morrow.

The same, to the same.

MY note which cost thee pennies Sixe
(It seeme's) still in thy stomack stick's
O had'st thou but beheld how willing
I was for thine to pay a shilling
(For footeman forth the money layd
Which must with int'rest bee defrayd)
Hereafter thou wouldst not bee nice
For everie note to part with sice.
Thy journey to the foe with Coyne
Would madded have a saint or twayne,
So sillie Bee with wearie thighes
Home to her master's storehouse hie's;
Whence (her rich fraught unladed) shee
Againe returne's an emptie Bee.
I joy to heare thou raign'st in place
Of the defunct Arch bishop's grace,
For thou (I doubt not) wilt bee grea'st:
By freind for prebendry ith' fist:
Mee thinkes I fancie prester Iames
In Cope envellop't without seames.
[Page 6] With silke and golde embroydred ore,
And brestplat like a belt before:
As Pedler ha's to bear his pack,
Or Creeple with a childe at's back.
Else when my Bettie dropp's away
(That fourteen yeares hath been my Toy)
Some one Il'e marrie that's thy Neece
And Livings have with Bellie-peece,
This some call Symonie oth'smock,
Or Codpeece, that's against the Nock.
The health you meant mee in the Quart
I have, and partly thanke you for't,
But yet I muse (as well I may)
At pot so funish't, without pay,
For at that time wee were told here
You all were sixe weeks in arreare;
Ha'st thou made merchandise, of Crop?
Or solde some landes, lef't out oth' mapp?
Or ha'st thou nimm'd from saddle bow
A pistoll through thy troope, or so?
Leaveing halfe-naked horses Crest
Like Amazon with but one brest;
Well, lett it goe: I thinke this geare
Fitt to bee scann'd, but not too neare
However, sure I should finde Iohn
Thriftie, but yet an honest man,
Yet tak heed in these pinching times
And age so catching after crimes,
It bee not given out how you quaf't
Sugar, and eggs, in morning's draught;
[Page 7] I grudge thee not; for if I met
Vulpone's potion, or could get
Nectar, or else dissolv'd to dew
Th'Elixir, which the gods n'ere knew:
'Twere thine, yea I would save the dropps
For thee that fell besides thy chopps:
But yet the needy state (I feare)
May think much of thy costly cheare;
The best is, if they barre thy maw
From sodden drink, thou't have it raw:
And reason good, the heavens defend,
That thou should'st want, and I thy friend.
I. S.
From house of Viscount Conway, where
Kenelme hath food, and Down's Count Lare,
December moneth, day of St. Iohn
That 'mongst th' Evangelists made one,
Forty, (besides the sixteen hundred)
We count yeares past since Fiend was foun­dred,
And this Bissextile, that, sans pumps,
Frisk's, and is call'd the yeare that Jum'ps.

The same, to the same.

I must call from between thy thighs]
Thy urine back into thine eyes,
And make thee when my tale thou hear'st
Channell thy cheekes with Launt rever'st;
Thy Landladie that made thee broth
When drugge made orifice to froath,
That every fortnight shifted sheet
To keep thy nest, and bodie sweet;
That heard thee knock at peepe of day
When boy snor'de that on pallat lay;
Rose in her smock, and gave thee counsell
To lift thy foot for feare of groundsell,
That often warnd thee of the quart
And praid (in vain) to turn thy heart,
This Landladie in grave is pent
Now shedd thy moysture, man of Kent:
Two rings shee left, for thee tone, to' ther
For Andrew that does call thee brother,
This dries thy teares that were a brewing;
Now li'st to newes of State ensuing.
Iudge Littleton is made Lord Keeper.
And feeds on chick and pigeon peeper,
The kings Attourney Sr Iohn Bancks
Succeds him, but may spare his thankes.
Herbert is thought the meetest man
To fill the place of Bancks Sr Iohn,
London-Recorder thence doth jogge,
In Herberts roome to trudge, and fogg:
[Page 9] And St Iohns one that's sharp and wittie
Is made winde-instrument o'th'Citty.
Thus tis in towne; but in the Camp
There's one preferrd will make thee stamp,
For Sr Iohn Berkly's Sergeant Maior
To Willmott, let it not bread Jarre,
Nor can the Viscount whom Iohn putts
In trust, prevent it for his gutts
More shalt thou know when tis more fitt,
When thou and I in Tavern fitt;
Till when, and ever, heaven thee send
The wishes of thy constant freind,
I. S.
In street of Coleman from swanne Ally
Where while I stay in towne, I shall lye
In house of Mistresse Street, relict
Of Robert, whom for mate shee pickt:
And where, with eeles, and flounders fryde,
And tongve of Neat that never lyed
I filld my paunch, but when I belsh,
It utter's language worse than welsh.
Ianus the moneth that holdes us tack,
One, with a face be hinde his back:
Full sixteene hundred yeares wee score
And fiftie, (bateing six, and fowr)
And this leape-yeare wee count to bee,
A yeare that come's but once in three.

The same, to the same.

THy wants wherewith thou long hast tug'd
And been as sad as Bear that's lug'd,
Thou'lt laugh at, when thou hear'st how odly
Thy fellowes shift in Town ungodly.
Commodities we took on trust,
And promis'd Tradesmen payment just,
To be return'd from Northern part,
When treasure hence arriv'd in Cart.
And, but till now of late, they crep
From stair to stair, with trembling step;
So modest, that they blush'd to name,
For what they to our Chambers came.
Impatient now, both young and old,
Assault my fort with knuckle bold.
And as in bed perplex'd I lie,
I hear one say, The Cart's gone by.
With that they all attempt my dore,
With pulse more daring then before;
And of their parcells make a [...]inne
Louder, then when they drew me in.
Rouz'd with this rudenesse, first, I chop
Upon some foreman of the shop;
Take him by 'th'hand aside, and there
I tell him wonders in his ear.
So by degrees I send them jogging,
Suppled with Ale, and language cogging.
But newes of this makes Scrivener wary,
And eight i'th hundred Don look awry
[Page 11] That we do stoop to sums as small,
As children venture at Cock-all.
And lives we lead, (I cry heaven mercy)
Worse then a Troop that has the Farfie,
While man that keeps the Ordinary,
Will not believe, nor Landlord tarry.
O happy Captain, that may'st houze
In Quarter free, and uncheckt brouze
On teeming hedge, when purse is light,
Or on the wholsom Sallat bite:
While we have nought, when mony fails,
To bite upon, but our own nails;
And they so short with often tewing,
There's not much left to hold us chewing;
Or if there were, 'twould onely whet
Stomack, for what it could not get,
And make more keen the appetite,
Like tyring-bitt for Faulkner's Kyte.
To mend my commons, clad in jerkin,
On Friday last I rode to Berkin,
Where lowring heavens with welcom saucst us
As when the Fiends were sent for Faustus;
Such claps of thunder, and such rain,
That Poets will not stick to feign,
The gods with too much Nectar sped,
Their truckles drew, and piss'd a bed,
And that they belsh'd from stomack musty
Vapour, that made the weather gusty.
Well, 'tis a sad condition, where
A man must fast, or feed in fear.
[Page 12] I lately thee from North did call,
Now stay, or else bring wherewithall,
Unlesse thy credit here prove better,
Than does thy friend's, that wrote this Lett [...]
I. S.
Day tenth thrice told, the morning fair,
The month still with a face to spare.

The same, to the same.

NO sooner I from supper rose,
But Letter came, though not in prose,
Which tells of fight, and Duell famous,
Perform'd between a man and a mouse.
An English Captain, and a Scot,
The one disarm'd, the other not.
It speaks moreover of some stirring,
To make a Cov'nant new as Herring.
Carr, and Mountrosse, and eke Argile:
Well was that Nation term'd a Boyl,
In breach of England, that doth stick,
And vex the body Politick.
But (whatsoe're be the pretence)
Doubtlesse they strive about the pence;
While English Trooper, like a Gull,
Serves but to hold the Cow to th'Bull.
Pray tell me, Iohn, did it not nettle
Thee, and thy Myrmidons of Mettle,
[Page 13] To see the boy with country-lash,
Drive on the jades that drew the cash?
And by thy needy quarters go,
Asking the way to Camp of fo?
So Tantalus with hungry maw,
And thirsty gullet, daily saw
Water and fruit swim by his chaps,
While he in vain at either snaps.
Or else as Phoebus, when full fraught,
And tipled with his mornings draught,
Reels like a drunken Jackanapes,
With bladder tight, o're soyl that gapes:
And afterwards in corner odd,
Perhaps lesse thirsty, empties codd.
So fares it with my friends, (god wot)
Whom treasure skips t'enrich the Scot.
Leave then that wretched Climate, where
Thy wants have rid thee like the Mare;
And haste to Town, where thou shalt find
Thy friend, that now hath newly din'd.
I. S.
[...]ay twenty sixt, and when Iohn saies,
[...]aces about, the Month obays.

The same, to the same.

WHy how now friend, why com'st no [...] hither?
Hast thou not leave as light as feather?
Here have I mark't a Butt of Sack
Whose maiden-head shall welcome Iack,
'Against which when drawer advanc'd gimlet
I suffer'd him not, but did him let.
And yet thou comm'st not; Why dost pause
And there continue, keeping Dawes?
Does Hostesse stay thy steed perforce,
For that which was not fault of Horse?
Thou haste command of more then one,
For I have seen at tail of Iohn,
Full Palfreys sixty in array,
(I mean upon the Muster-day)
Or art thou entertain'd to give
Physick to one, that else might live,
Some aged Sir, whose wife is bent
To change him for a Cock of Kent.
Well, be it what it will, I'le swear,
There's something in't, that thou stay'st there
Howe're, let businesse, wine, or friendship,
Draw thee from out that Northern endship.
If none of those provoke thy straddle,
Take pitty on my riming noddle,
That restlesse runs with numbers fierce,
And's troubled with a flux of verse.
[Page 15] On that condition I'le relate,
Once more to Captain, newes of State:
Judge Bartlet sitting on his stall,
In Westminster, with's back to the wall,
Was there surpriz'd, and grip'd by th'wrist
By Maxwell, with his clouter fist;
Who truss'd the Judge, and bore him hot,
To the Sheriff's house, but plum'd him not;
For there he set him down i'th Hall,
And left him to them, robes and all.
As when a pack of eager Hounds,
Hunting full cry along the grounds,
Take o're some common moor, that's fraught
With old cast Jades, and good for nought:
Who, conscious of their fates, do hale up
Their thin short tails, and try to gallop,
Get out o'th way for life and limme,
Each fearing they are come for him.
So far'd the Judges, such fears wrung'em,
When Maxwell spent his mouth among 'em.
Then come away, man, places stoop,
Yet thou remainst in fortune's poop.
If thou wert set to ride the Circuit,
In Bartlet's room, how thou wouldst firk it.
The art is, to forget acquaintance,
And break a jest in giving Sentence,
Which thou wilt learn, and then be quick
With Sherif's, and thou hast the trick.
These lessons con, and keep in store,
From S that hath an I before.
[Page 16] From Bromely, where I ghuess by th' Mill-Dike
That tis the Moneth sirnamed Fill-Dike
Which govern's now, and I beleeve
The day is Tom of Straffords Eve,
Full sixteen hundred yeares (I hold)
And fifty (bating five twice told)
Expired are since yeare of grace
I'th Almanack first shew'd his face:
Or (which is nearer to our trade)
Twelve score and two, since Guns were made.

The Gallants of the Times.
Supposed to be made by Mr. William Mur­rey of His Majesties Bed-chamber.

COme hither the maddest of all the Land,
The Bear at the Bridge-foot this day must be baited
Gallants flock thither on every hand
Waggswantonly minded, & merry conceited
Ther's Wentworth, and Willmott, and Weston an [...] Cav [...]
If these are not mad boys, who the devil [...] would you have▪
To drink to Will Murray, they all doe agre [...]
And every one crys, To mee, boys, to mee!
A great Burgandine for Will Murray's sake
George Symonds, he vows the first course to take:
When Stradling a Graecian dogg let fly,
Who took the Bea [...] by the nose immediatly;
To see them so forward Hugh Pollard did smile
Who had an old Curr of Canary Oyl,
And held up his head that George Goring might see,
Who then cryed aloud, To mee, boys to mee!
Tis pleasure to drink among these men
For they have witt and valour good store,
They all can handle a sword and a pen
Can court a lady and tickle a whore,
And in the middle of all their wine,
Discourse of Plato, and Arretine.
And when the health coms fall-down on their knees,
And hee that wants, cry, to me boys to mee
Cornwallais was set in an upper room
With halfe a duzzen smal witts of his size▪
He sent twice or thrice to have him come down,
But they would admitt him in no manner wise
Though, in a full bowle of Rhenishhe swear,
Hee'd never tell more, when woemen were there,
But they all cry'd alou'd his tongue is too free
He is not company for such as wee.

The Answer,

THough Marray be, undoubtedlie,
His countrey's cheifest wit;
And none but those converse with him
Are held companions fitt:
Yett I do know som Holland blades
Shall vie witth him for it, hey downe, ho downe
Hay downe downe derry dery downe!
Thinke not all praises due,
For some that buff do weare
Can whore and rore and sweare
And drink and talke and fight as well as you.
Your Wentworth and your Weston
Your Stradling and your Tred,
I know they are as joviall boys
As ever Taverne bred
And can somtimes like souldiers live
A weeke without a bedd, hey doune &c.
George Generall of Guenifrieds
He is a joviall Lad;
Though his Heart and Fortunes disagree
Oft times to make him sad:
Yet give him but a flout or two
And strait you'l swear hees mad: Hey downe, &c.
There's Sydenham Crofts and Kelligrew
Must not be left behind
And that old smooth-fac'd Epicure
They call him Harry Wind
For if you do discourse with him
Such company you'l finde: hey downe, &c.
There's little Geofrey Peeters,
As good as any of those
If hee'd leave his preventing way
Of abusing his great nose
Hee s witt and Poett good enough
That hee can pawne his cloathes: hey downe, &c.
There is a joviall Parson
Who to these men doth preach:
On the week days he does learn of them,
And on Sundays does them teach.
Of books and of good company
Hee takes his share of each, hey down ho down,
Hey down down dery dery down!
Thinke not all prayses due
For if he did not weare
A gowne hee'd roare and sweare
And drink and talke and fight as well as you.

The Bursse of Reformation.

WE wil go no more to the old Exchang,
Theres no good ware at all:
Their bodkins and their thimbles too
Went long since to Guild-hall.
But we will to the new Exchange
Where all things are in fashion
And we will have it hence forth call'd
The Burse of reformation.
Come lads and lasses, what do you lack
Here is weare of all prizes
Here's long & short; heres wide & straight;
Here are things of all sizes.
Madam, you may fitt your selfe
With all sorts of good pinns,
Sirs, here is jett and here is hayre,
Gold and cornelian rings,
Here is an english conny furr,
Rushia hath no such stuff,
Which for to keep your fingers warme,
Excells your sables muffe.
come ladds, &c.
Pray you Madam sitt, ile shew good ware
For crowding nere fear that,
Against a stall or on a stool
Youl nere hurt a crevatt.
[Page 21] Heers childrens bawbles and mens too,
To play with for delight.
Heer's round-heads when turn'd every way
At length will stand upright.
Come ladds, &c.
Heer's dice, and boxes if you please
To play at in and inn,
Heers hornes for brows, & browes for hornes,
Which never will be seen.
Heer is a sett of kettle pinns
With bowle at them to rowle:
And if you like such trundling sport
Here is my ladyes hole.
Come ladds, &c.
Heer's shaddow ribbon'd of all sorts,
As various as your mind,
And heer's a Wind-mill like your selfe
Will turne with every wind.
And heer's a church of the same stuff
Cutt out in the new fashion,
Hard by's a priest stands twice a day
Will serve your congregation.
Come ladds, &c.
Heer are som presbyterian things,
Falne lately out of fashion,
[...]ecause we hear that Prester Iohn
Doth circumcize his nation.
[Page 22] And heer are independant knacks,
Rais'd with his spirits humor.
And heer's cheap ware was sequestred,
For a malignant tumor. Come ladds, &c.
Heer patches are of every cut,
For pimples and for scarrs,
Here's all the wandring planett signes,
And som oth' fixed starrs,
Already gum'd to make them stick,
They need no other sky,
Nor starrs for Lilly for to vow
To tell your fortunes by,
Come ladds, &c.
To eject Powder in your hayre,
Here is a pritty puff;
Would for clis [...]er case serve too,
Were it fil'd with such stuffe.
Madam, here are Pistachie nutts,
Strengthening O [...]ingo roots;
And heea's a preserv'd Apricock
With the stones pendant too't.
Com Lads, &c.
Here are Perriwiggs will fit all Hayres,
False beards for adisguise;
I can help lasses which are bare
In all parts, as their thighs.
If you'l engage well, here you may
Take up sine Holland Smocks.
[Page 23] We have all things that women want
Except Italian Locks.
Come Ladds, &c.
Here are hot Boyes have backs like bulls,
At first sight can leap lasles;
And bearded Ladds hold out like Goats:
And here are some like Asses.
Here are Gallants can out-do
Your Usher or your Page;
You need not go to Ludgate more
Till threescore yeares of age.
Come Ladds, &c.
Madam, here is a Politicus
Was Pragmaticus of late,
And here is an Elentichus
That Fallacies doth prate:
Here is the Intelligencer too,
See how 'bout him they throng▪
Whilst Melanchollicus alone
Walks here to make this song.
Com Ladds, &c.
Then lett's no more to the Old Exchange
There's no good ware at all,
Their Bodkins, and their Thimbles too,
Went long since to Guild-Hall.
But we will to the New Exchange
Where all things are in Fashion,
[Page 24] And vve vvill have it henceforth call'd,
The Burse of Reformation.
Come Ladds, & Lasses, vvhat do you lack?
Here is vvare of all prizes;
Here's long and short, here's vvide and straight,
here are things of all sizes.

The Answer.

WE will go no more to the new Ex­change
Their Credit's like to fall,
Their Money and their Loyalty
Is gone to Goldsmith's Hall.
But we will keep our Old Exchange,
VVhere wealth is still in Fashion,
Gold Chaines and Ruffes shalt beare the Bell,
For all your Reformation.
Look on our VValls and Pillars too
You'l find us much the sounder:
Sir Thomas Gresham stands upright
But Crook-back was your founder.
There you have poynts and pinns and rings,
With such like toyes as those,
There Patches Gloves and Ribons gay,
And O our money goes.
But when a Fammily is sunck,
And Titles are a fading,
[Page 25] Some Merchant's daughter setts you up,
Thus great ones lives by trading.
Look, &c.
Marke the Nobility throughout,
Moderne and Antient too,
You'l see what power the Citty had
And how much it could do.
Not many houses you'l observe
Of honour true or seeming,
But have received from the Burse
Creation or redeeming.
Look, &c.
Our wonted meetings are at twelve,
VVhich all the world approves,
But you keep off till candle-time,
To make your secret Loves.
Then you come flocking in a maine
Like birds of the same feather,
Or beasts repayring to the Arke
Uncleane and cleane together.
Look, &c,
Wee strike a bargaine on the Exchange,
But make it good else where,
And your procedings are alike
Though not so good I fear.
For your commodities are naught,
How ever you may prize them,
[Page 26] Then corners and darke holes are sought,
The better to disguize them,
Looke, &c.
We walke ore cellars richly fill'd;
With spices of each kind,
You have a Taverne underneath,
And so you'r undermin'd.
If such a building long endure
All sober men may wonder,
When giddy and light heads prevaile,
Both above ground and under.
Look, &c.
Wee have an Office, to ensure
Our shipps and goods at sea:
No tempest, rock, or pyrat, can
Deprive us of that plea.
But if your Ladies spring a leake
Or boarded be and taken;
Who shall secure your Capitoll
And save your heads from aking!
Look, &c.
Then wee'l go no more to the new Eexchange
Their credit's like to fall,
Their money and their loyalty,
Is gone to Gold-smiths hall.
But wee will keep our old exchange,
Where wealth is still in fashion,
[Page 27] Gold chaines and ruffs shall bear the bell,
For all your reformation.
Look on our walls and pillars too,
You'l finde us much the sounder:
Sir Thomas Gresham stands upright,
But Crook-back was your founder.

On S. W. S. and L. P.

Shee that admires her servant's face,
His stature, limbs, or haire,
Does not conceive the moderne waies
Of Ladies, wise and faire.
Hee's but short,
Care not for't,
There be tall ones enough,
Though his head
Bee all redd,
Let his coyne bee so too.
What though his nose turne in and out
With passage wide and large,
Not much unlike a rainy spout,
His humors to discharge,
Though his back,
Weare a pack
Tis a toy among friends,
[Page 28] So by hook,
Or by crook,
We may compasse our ends.
'Tis not your witt nor language charme,
That takes a femall eare
A paire of pendants worth a farme
Are held more welcom there.
You abuse
Your poor muse,
When you write us fine fancies;
For no love
Can improve
Without suppers or daunces.
God dam-mee is a good conceit,
If they who sweare present us;
For that's your only taking baite
Words nere can circumvent us.
There belongs
More then songs
To a necklace or gown,
When your plays
And essays
May be had for a crown.

The Tytre-Tues, or A Mock-Songe

to the tune of Chive-Chase.
TWo madcaps were commited late,
For treason, as some say;
It was the wisdom of the State,
Admire it all you may.
Brave Andrew Windsor was the prince
George Chambers favorite.
These two bred this unknowne offence
I wo'd they had bine be—
They call themselves the Tytere-tues
And wore a blew Rib—bin,
And when a drie, would not refuse,
To drink—O fearefull sinn!
The Councell, which is thought most wise,
Did sett so long upon't,
That they grew wearie, and did rise,
And could make nothing on't.
But still, the common people cri'd,
This must not be forgot;
Some had for smaller matters di'd
They'd don—wee know not what:
Hang'd, drawne, and quarter'd, must they be,
So Law doth sett it downe,
It's punishment for papistrie
That are of high renowne.
My Lord of Canterburie's grace
This treason brought ot light
El's had it bin a pitious case
But that his power and might
Had queld their pride which swell'd to high;
For which the child ungot
May with him live e'ne till hee die
As silie sheepe that rott.
Let Papist frowne what need wee care
Hee lives above their reach:
And will his silver Mitre weare
Though now forgot to preach.
If hee were but hehind mee now,
And should this ballad heare;
Sure he'd revenge with bended bow
And I die like a Deere.

A Northern Ballet.

THere dwelt a man in faire Westmerland
Ionne Armestrong men did him call,
He had nither lands nor rents coming in,
Yet he kept eight score men in his hall.
He had Horse and Harness for them all,
Goodly Steeds were all milke white,
O the golden bands an about their necks;
And their weapons they were all alike.
Newes then was brought unto the King,
That there was sicke a won as hee,
That lived syke a bold out-Law
And robbed all the north country.
The King he writt an a letter then
A letter which was large and long,
He signed it with his owne hand,
And he promised to doe him no wrong;
When this letter came Ionne untill
His heart it was as blyth as birds on the tree,
Never was I sent for before any King
My father, my Grandfather, nor none but mee.
And if wee goe the King before,
I wolud we went most orderly,
Every man of you shall have his scarlet cloak
Laced with silver laces three.
Every won of you shall have his velvett coat
Laced with sillver lace so white,
O the golden bands an about your neck's
Black hatts, white feathers, all alyke.
By the morrow morninge at ten of the clock
Towards Edenburough gon was hee
And with him all his eight score men,
Good lord it was a goodly sight for to see,
When Ionne came befower the King
He fell downe on his knee,
O pardon my Soveraine Leige, he said
O pardon my eight score men and mee.
Thou shalt have no pardon, thou traytor strong
For thy eight score men not thee
For to morrow morning by ten of the clock,
Both thou and them shall hang on the gallow tree.
But Ionne looke'd over his left shoulder
Good Lord what a grevious look looked hee;
Saying asking grace of a graceles face,
Why there is none for you nor me.
But Ionne had a bright sword by his side,
And it was made of the mettle so Free,
That had not the king stept his foot aside
He had smitten his head from his faire bodde.
Saying, fight on my merry men all,
And see that none of you be taine,
For rather then men shall say we were hange'd
Let them report how we were slaine.
Then god wott faire Eddenburrough rose
And so besett poore Ionne rounde
That fowerscore and tenn of Ionnes best men
Lay gasping all upon the ground.
Then like a mad man Ionne laide about,
And like a mad man then fought hee,
Untill a falce Scot came Ionne behinde,
And runn him through the faire boddee.
Saying, Fight on my merry men all,
And see that none of you be taine,
For I will stand by and bleed but a while,
And then will I come and fight againe.
Newes then was brought to young Ionne Armestrong,
As he stood by his nurses knee,
Who vowed if er'e he live'd for to be a man,
Oth' the treacherous Scots reveng'd hee'dbe.

By Mr. Richard Barnslay.

FAme told mee, Lady, your fayr hands would make
A willow garland for me; O forsake
That dismall office, it do's not agree
With those sweet looks, that fair aspect in thee.
Fayrest of women, canst thou bee my friend?
And with thine owne hand hasten on my end?
If I must loose thee, let mee loose thee so
As not to bee my utter overthrow.
Time lessons sorrow, we endure our crosses,
And happier fortunes may redeem our losses,
But if I wear one branch of that sad tree,
I shall remember it eternally,
What prize I lost; and then in some sad grove
Of discontent, where fearfull ghosts doe rove
Of the forsaken lovers, there I'le bee
And only they shall keep mee company.
Untill these eyes, in some unpollish'd cave
Running like fountaines, weare mee forth a grave,
And then I'le dye, yet first I will curse thee
Damned, unlucky, fruitlesse willow-tree
Still mayest thou withered stand, mayst nev'r bee seen
Clad in sweet summers pride, may'st nev'r grow greene;
May every bryer, and every bramble bee,
Like a full Cedar, or huge Oake to thee:
And when some cankerd axe shall hewe thee down,
Come never neerer citty, house or towne,
But bee thou burnd, yet never mayst thou bee
A christmas block for joviall company.
But bee thou placed neare some ugly [...]itch
To burne some murderer, or damned witch.
Cast away Willow, Lady, then, and th [...]se,
Dog-tree, or hemlock, or the mornfull yewes
Torne from some church-yard side, the cursed thorne
[Page 35] Or else the weed, which still before it's borne
Nine times the devill sees; if you command
Ile weare them all, compos'd by your fayre hand
So that you'l grant mee, that I may goe free
From the sad branches of the willowe tree.

Ad Johannuelem Leporem, Lepi­dissimum, Carmen Heroicum.

I Sing the furious battails of the Sphaeres
Acted in eight and twenty fathom deep,
And from that a time, reckon so many yeares
You'l find b Endimion fell fast asleep.
And now assist me O ye c Musiques nine
That tell the Orbs in order as they sight,
[Page 36] And thou dread d Atlas with thine eyes so fine,
Smile on me now that first begin to write.
e Pompey that once was Tapster of New-Inne,
And fought with f Caesar on th' g AEma­thian plaines,
First with his dreadfull g Myrmidons came in
And let them blood in the Hepatick veines.
But then an Antelope in Sable blew,
Clad like the h Prince of Aurange in his Cloke,
Studded with Satyres, on his Army drew,
And presently i Pheanders Army broke.
k Philip, for hardiness sirnamed Chub,
In Beauty equall to fork-bearing l Bacchus,
Made such a thrust at m Phaebe, with his Club,
That made the n Parthians cry, she will be­cack us.
VVhich heard, the Delphick Oracle drew nigh,
To wipe faire Phaebe, if ought were amiss,
But o Heliotrope, a little crafty spye,
Cry'd clouts were needless, for she did but piss
A subtle Gloworme lying in a hedge
And heard the story of sweet cheek't p Ap­pollo,
Snarch'd from bright q Styropes his Antick sledge
[Page 38] And to the butter'd Flownders cry'd out, r Holla.
Holla you pamper'd Jades, quoth he, look here,
And mounting straight upon a Lobsters thigh
An English man inflam'd with s double Beere,
Swore nev'r to t drink to Man, a Woman by.
By this time grew the conflict to be u hot,
Boots against boots 'gainst x Sandals, Sandals, fly.
[Page 39] Many poor thirsty men went to the pot,
Feathers lopt off, spurrs every where did lie. Caetera de [...]iderantur.

Bagnall's Ballet, supplied of what was left out in Musarum Deliciae.

A Ballet, a ballet! let every Poet,
A ballett make with speed:
And he that has wit, now let him shew it;
For never was greater need:
And I that never made ballett before;
Will make one now, though I never make more.
Oh Women, monstrous women,
What do you meane to doe!
It is their pride and strange attire,
Which binds me to this taske;
Which King, and Court, did much admire,
At the last Christmas maske,
But by your entertainment then,
You should have smal cause to come there agen.
Oh Women, &c.
You cannot bee contented to go,
As did the women of old;
But you are all for pride and show,
As they were for weather and cold,
O Women, women! fie, fie, fie,
I wonder you are not ashamed.
O Women, &c.
Where is the decency becom;
Which your fore-mothers had?
With Gowns of Cloth, and Capps of Thrum,
They went full meanly cladd.
But you must jett it in silkes and gold;
Your pride, though in winter, is never a cold.
O Women, &c.
Your faces trick'd and painted bee,
Your breasts all open bare:
So farr that a man may almost see
Unto your Lady ware:
And in the church, to tell you true,
Men cannot serve God for looking on you,
O Women, &c.
And at the Devills shopps you buy,
A dresse of powdered hayre,
On which your feathers flaunt and fly,
But i'de wish you have a care,
Lest Lucifer's selfe who is not prouder
Do one day dresse up your haire with a powder.
O Women, &c.
And many thereare of those that go
Attyr'd from head to heele,
That them from men you cannot know
Unlesse you do them feele,
But oh for shame though they have none,
Tis better believe, and let them alone,
O Women, &c.
Both round and short they cut their hayre
Whose length should women grace,
Loose like themselves, their hatts they weare.
And when they come in place,
Where courtshipp and complements must bee,
They do it like men with cappe and knee.
O Women, &c.
They at their sides against our laws,
With little punyards go,
Which surely is, (I thinke) because,
They love mens weapons so;
Or else it is they'le stobb all men,
That do refuse to stabb them agen.
O Women, &c,
Doublets like to men they weare,
As if they ment to flout us,
Trust round with poynts and ribbons fayre,
But I pray letts look about us;
For since the doublett so well doth fitt 'um,
They will have the breeches; and if they can get 'um.
O Women, &c.
Nor do they care what a wise man saith,
Or preachers in their defame.
But jeer and hold him an asse; but I faith
They'd blush if they had any shame:
For citty and countrey do both deride 'um
And our King, God blesse him, cannot abide 'um.
O Women, &c.
And when the mask was at the court,
Before the King to be showne,
They got upon seats to see the sport,
But soon they were pull'd down;
And many were thrust out of dores,
Their coats well cudgel'd, & they cal'd whores.
O King, Relligious King,
Godsave thy Majestie.
And so with prayers to God on high,
To grant his highnesse peace,
Wee hope we shall finde remedie
To make this mischiefe cease:
Since he in Court has tane so good order,
The citty leave to the Maior and Recorder,
O King, Relligious King,
God blesse thy majestie.
And women all whom this concerns,
Though you offended bee;
And now in foule and rayling tearms
Do swagger and scold at mee;
[Page 43] I tell you, if you mend not your waies
The devil will fetch you all, one of these days,
Oh Women monstrous Women!
What do you mean to do?

Mr. Smith, to Sir John Mennis, up­on the surrender of Conway Castle

ANd how? and how? hast thou cry'd quit­tance
With Mountaine, Bishop, and his Brittaines
Who after all his changes, had
Yet one trick more, to make John mad?
Hadst thou, for this, charge of the Keyes
Old as the Castle? and the payes
Of Men unborne? that never took
A name, but from thy Muster-Book?
Hast thou been honour'd with the knee
Of the Time-aged-Porter? Hee
Who after reverence, humbly sate
Below the Salt, and munch'd his Sprat,
And after all this to be vex't
Past sufferance, by a Man o'th 'Text!
Well! now thou'rt come in sight of Pauls,
Hast thou compounded for thy Coales
And swallowed glib in hope to thrive,
The Covenant, and Oath Negative
[Page 44] With hand lift up, like those that are
Indicted for less crimes at Barre?
Beleeve me, friend, it is a Burden
Worse then a close-stoole with a Turd in.
Yet if from Brittish rocks th' hast brought
A heard of Goats, or Runts, or ought
That Country yeilds; Flannel, Carnoggins,
Store of Me [...]eglin in thy waggons;
Less needst thou dwindle to appeare Man
At Goldsmiths-Hall before the Chaire-man:
Or if th'ast plundered Pedlars-pack
And truss'd it on thy knightly back,
Rich in Box-whistles, combs in cases,
Tape white and blue, points, inkle, laces,
'T may satisfye those hungry Kings;
They'l hang [...]ee else in thine own strings.
And now I call to mind the tale,
How mounted in thy nights of ale
Thou rod'st home duely to thy Den
On back of resty Cittizen,
Still pressing as the cattle grew
Weary, at every stage, a new:
Some thorough-pac'd, and sure of foot
Some tripping, with string-halt to boot,
Now 'tis their time, and thou art ore-
Ridden by them, thou roadst before.
So have I seen the flyes in Summer,
Yellow as was the neighbouring scummer,
With shambling thighs, each other back
By turns, and traverse o're the rack.
Ah! worthy friend, it makes me mad
[Page 45] To count the dayes, that we have had;
When we might freely meet and drink
And each man speak what he did think.
Now every step we doubt, and word
As men to passe some unknown for'd.
As Patridges devide their way
When stoop'd at by the Birds of prey,
And dare not from their coverts peep
Till night's come on, and all's asleep,
Then from their severall brakes they hast,
And call together to repast.
So frighted by these buzzards, flye
Our scattered friends, and sculking lye
Till cover'd in the night, they chant
And call each other to the hant,
Some trusty Taverne, where in bowles
They drown their feares, & chirp pooresouls,
What sad plight are we in? what pickles?
That we must drink in conventicles?
Search all the Centuries, there's none
Like this fell Persecution;
But when Time sorts, do but but command,
At noon I'le meet thee, here's my hand.
I. S.
From house of Knight, in Nympton-Regis,
Where one drinks, and another pledges,
I meane at meales, the day is Jack,
The 15 of the month that's black,
Forty eight yeares, and sixteen hundred
Since that of Grace, away are squandred,
[Page 46] And since Parliament begon
(I hope you'l not forget that Iohn)
Nothing remaines, but that I say,
Good morrow; that's the time o'th day.

An answer to a Letter from Sr. John Mennis, wherein he [...]eeres him for falling so quickly to the use of the Directory.

FRiend, thou dost lash me with a story,
A long one too, of Directory;
When thou alone deserves the Birch
That broughtst the bondage on the Church.
Didst thou not treat for Bristow Citty
And yeld it up? the more's the pitty.
And saw'st thou not, how right or wrong
The common prayer-book went along?
Didst thou not scourse, as if inchanted,
For Articles Sir Thomas granted,
And barter, as an Author saith,
The Articles o'th' Christian faith?
And now the Directory jos [...]les
Christ out o'th' Church, and his Apostles;
And tears down the commnion-rayles
That Men may take it on their tayles.
Imagine freind, Bochus the King,
Engraven on Sylla's Signet ring,
Delivering up into his hands
Fugurth, and with him all his Lands,
[Page 48] Whom Sylla tooke and sent to Rome
There to abide the Senate's doome,
In the same posture, I suppose,
Iohn standing in's doublet and hose,
Delivering up, amidst the throng,
The common-prayer and wisedom's song
To hands of Fairfax to be sent
A sacrifice to the Parliament:
Thou litle thoughtst what geare began
Wrap't in that Treaty, Bus [...] Iohn,
There lurk'd the fire, that turn'd to cinder
The Church; her ornaments to tinder.
There bound up in that Treaty lyes
The fate of all our Christmas pyes,
Our holy-dayes there went to wrack
Our Wakes were layd upon their back;
Our Gossips spoones away were lurch'd
Our feasts and fees for woemen church'd,
All this and more ascribe we might
To thee at Bristow, wretched knight,
Yet thou upbraidst, and raylst in rime
On me, for that, which was thy crime,
So froward Children in the Sun,
Amid' their sports some shrewd turne donne
The faulty youth begins to prate,
And layes it on his harmlesse mate,
From Nympton where the Cyder smiles
And Iames has horse as lame as Gyles
[Page 48] The fourth of May; and dost thou heare,
'Tis as I take it, the eighth yeare
Since Portugall by Duke Braganza
Was cut from Spaine without a hand-saw.
I. S.

Mr. Smith's taking a Purge.

IN morne when Phoebus peep't through crevis,
Bold as our Brittish Guy or Bevis
I powder took, and by his beams
Befreinded, made a draught for Ieames.
Long had it not in stomack been
But from each part, came powd [...]ing in
Of uncouth gear such pregnant store
That gutt 'gan grumble, nock runne ore.
Have yee beheld with eager haste
The trewant Citts when scene is past,
(As if they meant their ribs to burst
While each beares up to get our first)
Cloy up the doore, till passage small
Into one body rammes 'em all,
And then in steed of men and witt
Delivers up a lumpe of citt.
With no lesse furie in a throng
Away these tachie humors flung,
[Page 49] And downwards in a rage they drew
To ramble, and bid nock adieu:
But when they came to portall nastie
Bumme was so straite, and they so hastie,
That many a worthy pellett must
Into one Booming shott bee thrust,
At rumbling noyse the mastive growl [...]s
The f [...]ighted mice forsake their holes,
And Souldiers to my window come
Invited thither by my drum,
Tire'd with this hideous coyle behinde
Nocke layd a b [...]ut him hard for winde,
Hee chaf'd, and fom'd, as buck embo'st,
And painted like a [...]oad that's tost.
At length he gaind a litle tyme,
And cleard his Organ from the slime;
Palewas his look, (for to be blunt),
Arse could not sett a good face on't.
But yet hee strove with visage wan
To vent himselfe; and thus began.
Oh dismall Dose! oh cursed geere!
Will all thy body runne out here?
Will vaynes, and sinnews, flesh, and bone
Be gadding, and leave nock alone?
Is it decreed, oh crewell fates!
So Mindus at her citty gates
As was suspected there about
Some time or other might runne out,
A Divell sure bak [...]t, and stale
Was grated in my posset-ale,
[Page 50] Or else 'twas powder of the bones
Of some foote souldier dead for the nonce,
For all the way he travailes North
Through stomack, belly, and so forth.
Some what he seizes in each towne,
And take's it with him as his owne;
Well, what so ere thou wer't, be sure
Thy vengeance 'ile no more indure,
Nor shall the head or stomack put
More then is fitting into gutt.
Why could not nostrells, eyes, or eare,
By milde expences vent you there?
Or vomitt, by a neerer way,
Discharge what in the stomak lay?
Or i'st not justice they that pas'd
The pleasure, should the bitter taste?
Can you accuse mee? ever came
Ought in by me did body blame?
Unlesse your keeping ope my doore
Drew wind, to make the fabrick roare;
I was contented once a day
While you were temperate, to obay,
But he is cur'st that's forc't to stand
All the day long with hose in hand.
Nor was the spincter muscle put
At every turne to ope and shut,
But there to stand, and notice take
Who pass'd, and when, and for whose sake.
Therefore bee warn'd keepe better dyet
That all of us may live at quiett.
[Page 51] Or ile sto [...]p up the abuse'd course
And send up fumes will make you worse
And you (as Mayerne doth) they say
Divert the vent another way,
Then spight of physick, in a word,
I'le make your pal [...]e tast a tourd,
And when you belch I'le turne the sent
To perfect smell of fundament.

The Miller and the King's Daughter,

There were two Sisters they went a playing,
With a hie downe, downe, a downe-a-
To see their fathers ships come sayling in
With a hy downe, downe, a downe-o-
And when they came unto the sea-bry [...],
With, &c,
The elder did push the younger in;
With, &c.
O Sister, O Sister, take me by the gow [...]e,
With, &c,
And drawe me up upon the dry ground.
With, &c.
O Sister, O Sister, that may not bee,
With, &c.
[Page 52] Till salt and oatmeale grow both of a tree;
With, &c.
Somtymes she sanke, Somtymes she swam,
With, &c.
Untill she came unto the mil-dam;
With, &c.
The miller runne hastily downe the cliffe,
With &c,
And up he be took her withou [...]en her lif [...],
With, &c.
What did he doe with her brest bone?
With, &c.
He made him a viall to play thereupon,
With, &c.
What did he doe with her fingers so small?
With, &c.
He made him peggs to his Violl withall;
With, &c.
What did he doe with her nose-ridge?
With, &c.
Unto his Violl he made him a bridge,
With, &c.
What did he do with her Veynes so blewe?
with, &c.
[Page 53] He made him strings to his Viole thereto;
with, &c.
What did he doe with her eyes so bright?
with, &c.
Upon his Violl he playd at first sight;
with, &c.
What did he doe with her tongue soe rough?
with, &c.
Unto the violl it spake enough;
with, &c.
What did he doe with her two shinnes?
with, &c.
Unto the violl they danc't Moll Syms;
with, &c.
Then bespake the treble string,
with, &c.
O yonder is my father the King;
with, &c.
Then bespake the second string,
with &c.
O yonder sitts my mother the Queen:
with, &c.
And then bespake the stringes all three;
with, &c.
[Page 54] O yonder is my sister that drowned mee.
with, &c.
Now pay the miller for his payne,
with, &c.
And let him bee gone in the divels name.
with, &c.

Mr. Smith, to Tom Pollard, and Mr. Mering.

MY hearty commendations first remem­bred
To Tom, & Robbin tall men, and well timberd
Hoping of both your welfares, and your blisse
Such as my selfe enjoy'd when I wrote this;
These are to let you understand and know,
That love will creepe there where it cannot go
And that each morning I doe drink your healths
After our Generalls, & the Commonwealths;
For nothing is more fatall then disorder
Especially now Lesly's on the Border;
That done we gather into Rankes and files,
That a farre off we look like greeat wood piles;
And then we practise over all our knacks
With as much ease as men make Almanacks,
[Page 55] Size all our bulletts to a dram, we hate
To kill a foe with waste unto the State,
And for our carriage heere, it hath been such
Declar't I cannot, but Ile give a touch:
Here is noe outrage done, not one that Robbs
Perhaps you think it strange Tom, so does Nobbs
But tis as true as steele, for on my word;
Their worst is drinking Ale, browne as their sword.
But harke the fiendes are come close to Carlile,
Lidsdale is cope't with Rebell-Scotts the while
To u [...] they send for helpe, the postboy skudds;
And scoures his pallfrie in his propper Sudds,
More I could write deare friends, but bad's the weather
And time's as precious as you both to gether.
But take not this unkindely; I professe
There's no man more your servant then
I S.
New castle where the drouth has been
That makes grasse short, and gelding thin:
Iuly the fifth I wrote this letter
One thousand six hunderd, & somewhat better

Upon Iohn Felton's hanging in Chaines at Ports-mouth, for killing the Duke of Buckingham.

HEre uninterd suspends (though not to save
Surviving friends the expences of a grave
Fel [...]on's dead earth, which to the world must bee
His own sad monument, his Elegye
As large as fame, but whither bad o [...] good
I say not, by himself 'twas writ in blood
For with his body thus entomb'd in ayre
Arch't o're with Heaven, set with thousand faire
And glorious Diamond-starrs; a Sepulcher
Which time can never ruinate, and where
Th'impartiall worme (which is not brib'd to spare
Princes when wrapt in Marble) cannot share
His flesh (which oft the charitable skyes
Embalme with teares doing those obsequies
Belong to men) shall last till pittying foul
Contend to reach his body to his Soule.

To Felton in the Tower.

ENjoy thy bondage; make thy prison know,
Thou hast a liberty thou canst not owe
To such base punishment; keep't intire, since
Nothing but guilt shackles they conscience.
[Page 57] I dare not tempt thy valiant blood to whey
[...]n feebling it with pitty, nor dare pray
Thine act may mercy finde, lest thy great story
[...] something of its miracle and glory.
I wish thy merit studied cruelty,
Short vengance befreinds thy memory
For I would have posterity to heare
He that can bravely die can bravely beare.
Torture seemes great unto a cowards eye
'Tis no great thing to suffer, less t [...] dye.
Should all the clowds fall out, & in that strife
Lightning and thunder send [...]o take my life,
I should applaud the wisedome of my fate
That knew to value me at such a rate
As at my fall to trouble [...]ll the skie,
Emptying it self upon me Joves full Armoty;
Thy soul before was straightned, thank thy doome
To show her vertue she hath larger Roome,
Yet sure if every artery were broke
Thou wouldst finde strength for such another stroke.
And now I leave thee unto death and fame
Which lives to shake ambition at thy name,
And (if it were no sin) the Court by it
Should hourely sweare before a favorite.
Farwell, for thy beame sake we shall not send
Henceforth Commanders that wil foes defend
Nor will it ever our just Monarch please
To keep an Admirall to loose the Seas.
[Page 58] Farwell, undaunted stand, and joy to be
Of publique sorrow the Epitome,
Let the Duke's name suffer, and crowne thy thrall
All we in him did suffer; thou for all.
And I dare boldly write, as thou darst dye,
Stout Felton, Englands ransome, here doth lye.

To the Duke of Buckingham.

THe King loves you, you him; both love the same,
You love the King, he you, both Buck-in-game
Of sport the King loves game, of game the Buck
Of all men you, why you? Why see your luck.

To the Same.

SOme say, the Duke was vertuous, gratious, good,
And Felton basely did, to spill his bloud.
If it be so, what did he then amiss,
In sending him the sooner to his bliss?
All deaths seem pleasant to a good-man's Eye
And bad men onely are afraid to dye;
Chang'd he this Kingdome to possess a better,
Then is the Duke become Iohn Felton's debter.

The Lawyer.

LAwyers themselves up hold the Common weale,
They punish such as do offend and steale;
They free with subtill art the innocent,
From any danger, losse, or punishment,
They can, but will not, keep the world in awe
By mis-expounded and distorted lawe;
Alwayes they have great store of charity,
And love they want, not keeping amitye.

The Clients Transcription of the same Copy, having experienced the contrary.

LAwyers themselves uphold the Common­weale
They punish such as do offend and steale.
They free with subtill art the innocent,
From any danger, losse, or punishment;
They can, but will not keep, the world in awe
By mis-expounded and distorted lawe
Allwayes they have, great store of charity
And love they want, not keeping amitye.

The reverend Canvase.

SO lowd a lye on Sunday rung,
So thicke a troupe, so grave a thrung,
Assembled in a Church, to laugh,
At nothing? pardon heavens; when halfe
Had Gods marke on them? none so good
To satisfie the hungry croud;
With holsome doctrine; none so hardy
With an howers talke to quitt the tardy?
All silent brethren, and yet none
Can speake by inspiration?
Dares none so conscious of his merit,
Or presuming on the sperit,
With an edifying greeting
Gratulate this zealous meeting?
Is this a day or place (O sin!)
For such to have a canvse in?
Lord! how we sat like Queene Candace's
Eunuch, reading each other faces!
Expecting when some Philips heire
Would come to ascend the sacred chaire.
Whilst cousning Miles the bell still knockt
T' increase the number of the mockt?
But in conclusion all the cittie
Was bidden to a nunc dimitte,
And yet found no man to supply
The office of dumbe Zacharie
In our dismission, till wee tiring
The bell and pullpit both conspiring,
[Page 61] Deprived of sound, and vesture told us
The tenor onely preacht that calld us;

A non sequitur, by Dr. Corbett.

MArke how the Lanterns clowd mine eyes
See where a moone drake ginnes to rise
Sat [...]rne craules much like an Ir [...]n Catt,
To see the naked moone in a slippshott hatt,
Thunder thumping toad stooles crock the pots
To see the Meremaids tumble
Leather catt-a-mountaines shake their heeles
To heare the gosh-hawke grumble
The rustie threed,
Begins to bleed,
And cobwebs elbows itches
The putrid skyes
Eat mulsacke pies
Backed up in logicke brecehes
Munday trenchers make good hay
The Lobster weares no dagger
Meale-Mouth'd shee-peacockes powle the starres
And make the lowbell [...]agger
Blew Crocodiles foame in the toe
Blind meal-bagges do follow the doe
A ribb of apple braine spice
Will follow the Lancasheire dice
Harke how the chime of Plu [...]oes pispot cracks,
To see the rainbowes wheele g [...]nne, made of flax.
[Page 62] On Oxford Schollers going to Woodstock
to heare Dr. Corbet preach before the King.
THe King, and the Court
Desirous of sport,
At woodstock six dayes did lye
Thither came the Doctors
With their velvet sleev'd Proctors,
And the rest of the learned frie.
Some faces did shine
More withale then with wine;
So that each man there was thought
And judged by theire hue
(As it was then true).
They were better fed then taught.
A number beside
With their wenches did ride
(For Schollers you know are kind)
And riding before
Leand back evermore
To kisse their wenches behind.
A number on foot
Without cloak, or boot
And yet to the Court they wou'd
Which was for to show
How farr they wou'd go
To doe his Majesty good,
The reverend Deane
With his ruff, starched clean
[Page 63] Did preach before the King
A Ring there was spide
In his band-string tyde
Was not this a pritty thing?
The Ring without doubt
Was the thing put him out:
So oft hee forgot what was next
That all that were there
Did thinke, and dare sweare,
Hee handled it more then his Text.

Horat. 34. Carm. od 10. ad. Ligurium.

TIs true (proud boy) thy beauty may pre­sume
Thank Venus for't but when thy cheekes shall plume,
When manly downe shall shade thy Childish pride
And when thy locks (which dangle on each side
Of thy white shoulders) shall no more remain;
When thy vermilion cheeks (which do disdain,
The glorious colour of the purple rose)
Begin to fade, and Ligarinas loose
His lovely face, being rudely stuck with haires
Hard hearted boy) then wilt thou say with teares
[Page 64] (When looking for thy faire self in a glass
Thou findest another there) Ah me! alas!
What do I now perceive? why had not I?
These thoughts when I was lovely smooth? or why?
To these my thoughts which I now entertaine
Doe not my Cheeks grow flik & young again?

To his Mistris.

I'le tell you whence the rose did first grow red
And whence the lillie whitenesse borrowed
You blush't and then the rose with red was dight.
The lillie kist your hands and so came white
Before that time the rose was but a staine
The lillie nought but palenesse did containe
You have the native colour; these they die
And onely flourish in your livery.

Upon a Cobler.

COme hither, read (my gentle freind)
And here behold a Coblers End,
Long in length his life had gone
But that he had no Last so long.
O mighty death whose darts can kill.
The man that made him soules at will.

On the death of the Lord Treasurer.

IMmodest death, that would not once confer
Dispose or part with our Lord Treasurer!
Had he beene thee, or of thy fatall tribe,
He would have spar'd thy life, and tane a bribe,
He that so often had with gold and wit,
Perverted law and allmost conjur'd it.
He that could lengthen causes, and was able
To starve a suitor at the councill-table
At last not having Evidence to show
Was faine (perforce) to take a deadly blow.

The lover's Melancholy.

HEnce, hence, all you vaine delights
As short as are the nights
Wherin you spend your folly!
Ther's nought in this life sweet,
If men were wise to [...]ee't
But only melancholly.
Wellcome folded armes, and fixed eyes,
A fight that pea [...]cing mortifies,
A look that's fastened to the ground,
A tongue chain'd up without a sound,
Fountaines-heades and pathless groves
Places which pale passion loves.
Moone-light walkes when all the fowles
Are warmely hous'd, save Bats and owls;
[Page 66] A midnight knell, a parting groane,
These are the sounds wee feed upon;
Then stretch our bones in a still gloomy valley
Ther's nothing truly sweet, but melancholly;

The answer, by Dr. Stroad.

REturne my joyes and hither bring
A tounge not made to speake, but sing;
A joll ye splene, an inward feast,
A causelesse laugh without a jest;
A face which gladnesse doth annoint,
An arme for joy flung out of joynt;
A spritefull gate that leaves no print,
And make a [...]eather of a flint:
A heart that's lighter then the ayre
An eye still dancing in its sphere.
Strong which mirth nothing shall controul
A body nimbler then a soul:
Free wandring thoughts not tied to muse
Which thinking all things, nothing chuse;
Which ere wee see them come, are gone,
These, life it selfe doth feed upon.
Then take no care but only to be jolly,
To be more wretched then we must, is folly.

A Blush.

STay hasty blood! where canst thou seek
So blest a place as in her cheek?
How can'st thou from the place retire
VVhere beauty doth command desire?
But if thou canst not stay, then show;
Downe to her painting papps below
Flow like a deluge from her breast
VVhere Venus Swannes have built their nest,
And so take glory to disteine
The azure of each swelling vaine;
Thence run thou boyling through each part
Till thou hast warm'd her frozen heart;
But if from love she would retire
Then martyr her with gentle fire
And having search't each secret place
Fly back againe into her face;
VVhere blessed live in changing those
VVhite lillyes to a Ruddy rose:

To his Mistris.

Last when I saw thee, thou didst sweetly play
The gentle theife, and stolst my heart away,
Render't again or else give me thine owne
In change, for two for thee (when I have none)
Too many are, else I must say, Thou art
A sweet facd creature with a double heart.

On Christ-church windowe, and Magd [...]len Colledge wall.

YEe men of Galilee why gaze yee so
On Mandlins necessary print, as though
T'had bin enough for that pure virgin's sonne
That was incarnate, dyed, & rose, to have done
Those heavenly acts, that ransom'd al from hell
And yet no visible effigies tell
The eye, the manner how. Ye misconceive
VVho think these sacred mysteryes must leave
Impression onely in the soul; how then
Shall those that bear more shape than mind of men,
(Unlesse their outward sense informe them) know
VVhat accidents their Saviour long ago
Sustain'd? each wise man sees 'tis not the fate
Of every ideot to be literate.
And who can then forbid (ye Lay) to look
And read those things without or line or book.
Besides (if modestye may judge) what ist
But a supply to each Evangelist?
Long may the learned study, peace and scratch
Before the forme of th' mainger, or the cratch
Wherein Babe Christ was layd be understood.
Each bungling joyner now may ken what wood
The stall was made of where the long eared steed
[Page 69] And his associate Oxe did stand and feed.
Each practis'd oastler knowes their meat, can say
There is their provender, this is their hay.
Yee now may learne the naked shepherds hew
The stripling boy, and him it'h cap of blew,
As perfectly as it had seene the clownes
Each day a sunning on the jewish downes;
'Tis strange the dogg's not there, perhapps the Curr
VVas left behind, for feare of noise or stirre:
But veiw the venerable face whereon
The horne and candle cast reflection,
Observe it well if ere you chance to meet
In paradise, you'le know't as soon as see't,
Tis reverent Iosephs portraiture, see how▪
The very image seemes to cringe and bow,
Marke well his beard, his eyes, his nose, if ought
Be mist, tis yours, and not the painters fault.
Then lead your eyes unto the beauteous one
Who nere knew man, yet mother to a sonne.
Doth not her face more fully speake her heart
And joy, than text or comment can impart?
But oh how little like her selfe when shee
VVhose upcast, downe cast lookes, behold the tree?
That fatall tree whereon the Lord of breath
Expos'd himselfe to th'tyranny of death;
VVas ever sorow so set forth? and yet
To make the quire of heavinesse compleat,
[Page 70] The lov'd disciple bears his part, and so
Doth that brave lasse that clips the Crosse below.
Consult allauthors, English Greek & Lattin,
You nere saw truer greife or finer sattin.
Foule fall the bird whose undiscerning mute
Presumes to turpifye so rich a suite;
T'was very strange they durst so boldly greeve
When those untutor'd hacksters of the Shreeve
Close by sat armed Cap-a-pee with speares,
And swords, and glittering helmets, or'e their eares
Bestriding fiery steeds so markt so made
Bucephalu's himselfe was but a jade
Compar'd to these, why? who would be but vext
To see such pal [...]ryes here, and none it'h text?
Next let your eyes and thoughts be fixt upon
The sad-sad story of the passion;
See how from side, from feet, from hands as yet
The crimson blood trills down, you'l sweare twere wet;
Were Thomas here himselfe, he would not linger
But sooner trust his eyes then erst his finger.
Mark how death's sable cloud doth over-spread
His lips, his cheeks, his eyes, his sacred head.
Behold death drawn to th'life, as if that hee
Thus wrackt and stretch't upon th' accursed tree,
[Page 71] Had been of purpose nayld to th' crosse to try
The Painters cunning hand, more than to dye.
He left him dead, but twas not in the power
Of grave, or hell to keep him, there one houre
Beyond his own determination.
Three dayes are past, and Ionah's type is done
He walkes, and in full glory leaps from tombe:
As Lazarus from th' earths insatiate wombe,
But not to dye againe: meane while the guard
Who vigilantly slept, soon as they heard
Deaths prisoner, and their's so strangely rise
Start up with frighted hearts and gastly eyes.
They stare and muse, and sweare, the heardsmen talke
Strange things, but nere till now saw dead men walke:
Do but take notice how the rascalls look
As if some prodigie had thunderstrook
The villaines hearts, or some strange power had showne
Medufae's head, and turnd them all to stone.
Sure small perswasion would have made the Elves
For feare of further paines to hang themselves:
And blame them not, the Lord was now cal­cin'd
Bright as the Sun, his body so refin'd
That not the sawcinesse of mortall eye
Could stare upon such lustre and not dye.
His glorifi'd humanity can stay
[Page 72] No more on earth, heaven calls, he must away;
Yet ere he part hee'le take his leave, th'eleven,
Attend, and see him ravisht into heaven.
Their eyes (untill an interposing cloud
Did interdict accesse of sight, and shrowd
His godlike countenance from mortall ken)
Still waite upon th'ascending Lord; but when
Distance had snat cht him from their view, they lift
Their hands to th' skie, as if they made some shift
To draw him down againe, such was their love
Thei [...]e scarse assent to his ascent above.
Where once more, note, the text supplyed which tells
Th'Apostles were spectators and none else
But count byth' pole you'l find th' eleven in­creast
Their troops amount to five or sixe at least.
Were Luke alive, hee'd thank the painters wit,
Who saw his oversight and mended it.
Let's yeeld to reason then, let him that lists
Dispute the number of th' Evangelists;
If Judgement ever please this thing to lift
Or Greenbury or none must be the fift
I've done, bur first Ile pray, hayle holy cloth
And live in spight of rottennesse or moth.
Nor time nor vermine ere shall dare to be
Corruptors of so much Divinitie;
But men of Galilee why do ye gaze,
On that which may delight, but not amaze?
[Page 73] That's left for us; let any wise man bend
His eyes towards our orientall end
Hee' [...]e blesse himselfe indeed, grow wise; with­all
Approaching take the window for a wall
And then conclude that Wadehams perspective
Nor Lincolnes stately types can long survive;
They'le break for envie (spight of wise) to find
Us to transcend themselves so farre behind;
But Ile not prayse our own, 'tis far more fit
To leave the talke to some fine Maud'lin wit,
Who may enroule in some well languish [...]t staine
As we their walls, so they our lights againe
Only I feare they will, (least we surpasse)
Pull down their hall to build up Eastern glass.

An Elegie.

WHy faire vow-breaker, have thy sinnes thought fit
That I be curst example of thy wit
As well as scornes? (bad womn) have not I
Deserv'd as much as quiet misery?
Be wise and trouble not my suffering fit
For every sin I have repentance yet,
Except for loving thee; do not thou presse
My easie madnesse to a wickednesse
As high as that, least I be driven so
As far from heaven as thou art, which I know
[Page 74] Is not thy ayme, for thou hast sin'd to be
In place, as in affection, farre from me.
Am I thy freind or kinsman? have I ought
That is familiar with thee bettring thought
A dreame and some few letters too, yet lye
Neglected records of my injury.
I know no itch my silent sorrowes moves:
To begg a bridall kisse or paire of gloves
These are the lighter dutyes which they seek
Whose sleepe is sound & constant as the week
Is in her nights, who never met the chaunce
Of love amisse, but in a dreameing traunce
And wak't to gladnesse; t'is not so with me
My night and day are twins in misery.
These spend-thrift eyes have beene prepar'd with feares
To keep a solemne revelling in teares;
Hadst thou beene silent I had known the shame
Of that dayes union by my greife, not fame.
Priva'te as sorrowes lodging had I dwelt
Follow'd with my dispaire and never felt
Anger except for livinge hadst thou bin
Content with my undoinge 'Tis a sinn
My love cannot forgive there to upbraid
Awret chednesse which thou thy selfe hast made▪
Heaven knowes I sufferd, and I sufferd so
That by me twas as infallible to know
How passive man is, fate knew not a curse
Except thy new contempt to make mee worse
And that thou gav'st when I so low was brought
[Page 75] I knew not if I liv'd but yet I thought,
And counted sighs and teares, as if to scann
The aire and water would make up a man.
Hadst thou not broake the peace of my decay
Ere this I thinke [...]'de wept some sinns away,
Being diseas'd, diseas'd past mine owne cure
Thou wouldst needs kill which made mee to indure
My patience: why (Ioyes murdresse) wouldst thou prove
VVhether that bee as passive as my love?
Had woman such a way as shee can give
To man deniall, as of love to live?
VVhy then th' abhored reason meers me; why
Successless lovers doe so quickly dye,
So be it with mee, but if any curse
First can be fastned on thee which is worse
Then thy unwept for vow-breach may it come
As my greife heavye; may the tedious summe
Of thy great sinns stand sentinell to keep
Repentance from thy thoughts reach. May thy
Sleep Be broken as my hopes, 'bove all may [...]e
Thou choosest husband ripe to jealousye.
And find it true, to tell thee; may the theames
On which thy sleepe doth paraphrase in dreames
Bee my sad wrongs: and when some other shall
(VVhom chance hath made with mee a­pocryphall
In loveing storyes) search an instance forth
To curse his Mistris for her little worth,
[Page 76] May thy name meet him, under whom must be
The Common place of womans perjury.
May heaven make all this: and if thou pray
May heaven esteeme as that thou didst that day
Of thy last promises, I've said, be free
This pennance done, then my dayes destinye
By thee is antedated. But three sighs
Must first pay my admission to the skyes.
One for my madness, loving woman so
That I could think her true; the next ile throw
For wounded lovers, that i'le breath a new;
The third shall pray my curses may prove true.

In imitation of Sir Philip Sydnie's Encomium of Mopsa.

ASsist mee Love, and Lov's, great Queen of Paphos
Inspire my muse with straines more rich then Saphos!
Approach you Heliconiau lasses, even
Chaste Erato, Thalie and th' other seaven.
Direct my quill whilst I her praises caroll out
Whose paralle's not found in all the world about
In lovelinesse sh' excells (and 'tis no wonder)
Those brave Cicilian, forgers of Joves thunder,
For chastity Im'e sure her equall none is
Not Venus selfe that lov'd the faire Adonis.
[Page 77] Medea's not more mild, who as the talk is
Made Iason steale the golden fleece from Cholchos.
For modest silence, I dare say shee'l fit ye
Wherein shee's not an ace behind Zantippe,
But Oh! the comely graces of her feature
Great Plutoes Cour affords not such a creature,
Her golden tresses far surpasse Megaera's
In compassing her lofty forehead, whereas
No frown nor wrinckle ere appeares to fright ye
But still more calme than smooth fac'd Am­phirité.
Beneath those vaulted cells are fixt those tor­ches
From whence proceeds that flame so fiercely siorches.
Between both which her precious nose is pla­ced,
With fairest pearles and rubies rich encased.
Next comes her heavenly mouth whose sweet composure
Falls not within expressions, limmits, no sure.
This even unto her precious eares doth guide us,
Which makes her full as faire as great King Mydas.
She's smooth as Pan, her skin (which you'le admire) is
Like purest gold, more glorious far then Iris,
[Page 78] And to close up this Magazin of pleasures
She most exactly treads god-Vulcans measures
This is my Mistris Character, and if in
These lines her name you misse; 'tis faire Befs Griffin.

A Scholler that sold his Cussion.

TOm I commend thy care of all I know,
That souldst this Cushion for a pipe of To—
Now art thou like though not to studdy more
Yet ten times harder then thou didst before.

On the death of Cut. Cobler.

DEath and an honest Cobler fell at bate
And finding him worne out, would needs translate;
He was a trusty so'le, and time had bin
He would well liquord go through thick and thin.
Death put a trick upon him, and what was't?
The Cobler call'd for All, death brought his last;
'Twas not uprightly done to cut his thread,
That mended more and more till he was dead:
[Page 79] But since hee's gone, 'tis all that can be said,
Honest Gut-Cobler here is underlayd.

A Letter to Ben. Johnson.

DIe Iohnson, crosse not our Religion so
As to be thought immortall; let us know
Thou art no God; thy works make us mistake
Thy person, and thy great creations make
Us I doll thee, and cause we see thee do
Eternall things, think thee eternall too,
Restore us to our faith and dye, thy doome
Will do as much good as the fall of Rome:
'Twill crush an heresie, we ne're must hope
For truth till thou be gon, thou and the Pope.
And though we may be certaine in thy fall
To lose both wit and judgement, braines and all,
Thou Sack, nor Love, nor Time recover us
Better be fooles then superstitious.
Dye! to what end should we thee now adore
There is not Schollership to live to more,
Our language is refin'd: professors doubt
Their Greek and Hebrew both shall be put out
And we that Latin studied have so long
Shall now dispute & write in Iohnsons tongue,
Nay, courtiers yeeld, & every beautious wench
Had rather speak thy English then her French.
[Page 80] But for thy matter fancy stands agast
Wondering to see her strength thus best at last.
Invention stops her course and bids the world
Look for no more; she hath already hurld
Her treasure all on one, thou hast out-done
So much our wit and expectation,
That were it not for thee, we scarse had known
Nature her selfe could ere so farre have gon.
Dye! seemes it not enough thy verse's date
Is endlesse; but thine own prolonged fate
Must equall it; for shame engross not age
But now (the fith act ended) leave the stage.
And let us clap, we know the Stars that do
Give others one sife, give a laureat two.
But thou, if thus thy body long survives,
Hast two eternities, and not two lives.
Die for thine own sake, seest thou not thy praise
Is shortned onely by this length of daies.
Men may talk this, and that, to part the strife,
My tenet is, thou hast no fault but life.
Old Authors do speed best, me-thinks thy warm breath
Casts a thick mist betwixt thy worth, which death
Would quickly dissipate. If thou wouldst have
Thy Bayes to flourish, plant them on thy grave.
Gold now is drosse, and Oracles are stuffe
[Page 81] With us, for why? Thou art not low enough.
We still look under thee. Stoop, and submit
Thy glory to the meanest of our wit.
The Rhodsan Colossus, ere it fell,
Could not be scan'd and measured, half so well.
Lie levell to our view, so shall we see,
Our third and richest University.
Art's length, Art's heighth, Art's depth, can ne're be found,
Till thou art prostrate, stretch'd upon the ground.
Learning no farther then thy life extends,
With thee began all Arts, with thee it ends.

On a young Lady, and her Knight.

A Vertuous Lady sitting in a muse,
(As fair and vertuous, Ladies often use,)
With elbow leant upon one knee so hard,
The other distant from it half a yard.
Her Knight, to quip her by a secret token,
Said, Wife, arise, your Cabinet stands open.
She rising, blush'd, and smilingly did say,
Lock it then, if you please, you keep the key.

On a Welch-man's devotion.

THe way to make a Welch-man thirst for blisse,
And daily say his prayers on his knees,
Is, to perswade him, that most certain 'tis,
The Moon is made of nothing but green cheese:
Then he'l desire nought else, nor greater boon,
Then plac'd in heaven, to feed upon the Moon.

On a Maid's Legge.

FAir Betty us'd to tuck her coats up high,
That men her foot and leg might soon espy.
Thou hast a pretty legg, (saith one) fair Duck.
Yea, two, (saith she) or else I have ill luck.
They're two indeed, they're twins, I think, quoth he,
They are, and yet they are not, Sir, said she;
They're birth was both at once, I dare be sworn
And yet between them both a man was born.

To his Sister.

LOving sister, every line
Of your last Letter, was so fine,
With the best mettall, that the grain,
Of Scriveners pin-dust had been vain.
The touch of gold did sure instill
Some vertue, more than did your quill.
And since you write no cleanly hand,
Your tokens make me understand.
Mine eyes have here a remedy,
Whereby to read more easily.
I do but jest; Your love alone,
Is my interpretation,
My words I will recall, and swear,
I know your hand is wondrous fair.

On the death of Hobson, the Cambridge-Carrier.

HEre Hobson lies, amongst his many bet­ters,
A man not learned, yet of many Letters;
The Schollers well can justifie as much,
Who have receiv'd them from his pregnant pouch.
[Page 84] His carriage is well known, oft hath he gone
An Embassie, 'twixt father and the son.
In Cambridge few (in good time be it spoken)
But will remember him by some good token.
From thence to London rode he day by day,
Till death benighting him, he lost his way.
Nor wonder is it, that he thus is gone,
Since most men know, he long was drawing on.
His Team was of the best, nor could he have
Them mir'd in any ground, but in the grave;
And there he sticks indeed, still like to stand,
Untill some Angell lend his helping hand.
So rests in peace the ever toiling Swain,
And supream Waggoner, next Charls his wain.

Another on the same.

HEre lieth one, who did most truely prove,
That he could never die, whilst he could move.
So hung his destiny, never to rot,
Whilst he could but jogg on, and keep his trot.
Made of Sphear mettall, never to decay,
Untill his resolution made of stay.
Time numbers motion, yet without a crime,
'Gainst old truth, motion numbered out his time.
[Page 85] And like some Engine mov'd, with wheeles and weight,
His principles once ceas'd, he ended streight.
Rest, that gives all men life, gave him his death,
And too much breathing put him out of breath.
For had his doings lasted as they were
He had been an immortall Carrier.


HEre lies old Hobson! Death hath his desire,
And here (alasse) hath left him in the mire;
Or else the waies being foul, twenty to one,
He's here stuck in a slough, and overthrown.
'Twas such a shifter, that if truth were known,
Death was half glad that he had got him down.
For he hath any time this ten years full,
Dog'dd him 'twixt Cambridge and the London-Bull.
And surely death could never have prevail'd,
Had not his weekly course of carriage fail'd.
But lately finding him so long at home,
And thinking now his journey's end was come;
And that he had tane up his latest Inne,
Death in the likenesse of a Chamberlin,
[Page 86] Shew'd him his room, where he must lodge that night,
Pull'd off his boots, and took away the light.
If any ask for him, it shall be sed,
Hobson has supt, and newly gon to bed.

Fr. Clark, Porter of St. Johns, To the President.

HElp Silvanus, help god Pan,
To shew my love to this kinde man,
Who out of's love and nature good,
Hath well encreas'd my store of wood.
And whilest he the same peruses,
Wood-Nymphs help instead of Muses.
Oh thou that sitst at St. Iohns helm,
I humbly thank thee for my Elme;
Or if it chance an Oak to prove,
With heart of Oak I thank your love.
This Tree (to leave all Ovid's fables)
Shall be the Tree of Predicables.
Or if you like not that opinion,
The kindred Tree of great Iustinian.
Thus finer Wits may run upon't,
But I do mean to make fire on't:
By which I'le sit and sing, in spight of wealth,
And drink in Lambs-wool to your Wor­ship's health.

An Epitaph.

HEre underneath this stone doth lie,
That worthy Knight, brave Sir Iohn Drie;
At whose funerall there was no weeping,
He dy'd before Christmas, to save house-kee­ping.

A Wife.

A Lusty young Wife, that of late was sped,
With all the pleasures of a marriage-bed,
Oft a grave Doctor ask'd, whether's more right
For Venus sports, the morning or the night.
The good old man reply'd, as he thought meet,
The morn's more wholsom, but the night more sweet.
Nay then (said she) since we have time and leasure,
We'l to't each morn for health, each night for pleasure.

The constant man.

HE that with frownes is not dejected,
Nor with soothing smiles erected;
[Page 88] Nor at the baits of pleasure biteth,
He whom no thoughts nor crosse affrighteth
But, center to himself, controleth,
Change and fortune when she rouleth.
Who when the silent night begins,
Makes even reckoning with his sinns:
Who not deferreth till to morrow,
To wipe out his black scores of sorrow.
Who sets hell-pains at six and seven,
And feareth not the fall of heaven.
But's full resolv'd without denyall,
To yield his life to any tryall;
Making his death his meditation,
And longing for his transmigration.
This is the constant man, who never
From himself, nor God doth sever.

To his Mistris.

COme let's hug and kisse each other,
Sacrificing to Love's mother:
These are duties which she loves,
More then thousand milky Doves
Fresh bleeding on her altars. We
Will not use our piety
In such slaughters. Cruelty
Is no devotion, nor can I
Believe, that she can pleasure take
In blood, unlesse for Mars his sake.
[Page 89] No: Let us to Cythera's Queen,
Burn for sacrifice our green,
And tender youth, with those divine
Flames, which thine eyes begot of mine.
And lest the while our zeal catch cold,
In warm embraces we'l enfold
Each other, to produce a heat.
Thus pleasing her, we pleasure get.
Then let's kisse and hugg each other,
Sacrificing to Lov's mother.


IN elder times, an antient custom was,
In weighty matters to swear by the Masse.
And when the Mass was down, as all men note,
Then swore they by the crosse of the grey Groat.
And when the crosse was likewise held in scorn,
Then faith and troth was all the oath was sworn.
But when they had out-worn both faith and troth,
Then, Dam my soul, became a common oath.
So custom kept decorum in gradation:
Mass, cross, faith, troth out-sworn, then came damnation.

On a good Legg and Foot.

IF Hercules tall stature might be guess'd
But by his thumb, the Index of the rest,
In due proportion, the best rule that I
Would chuse, to measure Venus beauty by,
Should be her leg and foot: Why gaze we so
On th'upper parts, as proud to look below,
(In chusing Wives) when 'tis too often known,
The colours of their face are not their own.
As for their legs, whether they mince or stride,
Those native compasses are seldom wide
Oftelling truth. The round and slender foot,
Is a prov'd token of a secret note,
Of hidden parts, and well this way may lead,
Unto the closet of a mayden-head.
Here emblems of our youth, we Roses tie;
And here the Garter, love's dear mystery.
For want of beauty here, the Peacock's pride,
Let's fall her train, and fearing to bespy'd,
Shuts up her painted witnesses, to let
Those eyes from view, which are but coun­terfeit.
Who looks not if this part be good or evill,
May meet with cloven feet, and match the de­vill.
For this did make the difference between
[Page 91] The more unhallowed creatures, and the clean.
Well may you judge her other parts are light,
Her thoughts are wry that doth not tread a­right.
But then ther's true perfection, when we see,
Those parts more absolute which hidden be.
Nature ne're lent a fair foundation,
For an unworthy frame to rest thereon.
Let others view the top, and limbs through­out,
The deeper knowledge is to know the root.
In viewing of the face, the weakest know
What beauty is, the learned look more low:
And in the feet the other parts descry,
As in a pool the Moon we use to spy.
Pardon, sweet-heart, the pride of my desire,
If but to kisse your toe it should aspire.

Upon the view of his Mistresse face in a Glasse.

AH cruel Glasse [...] didst thou not see,
Chloris alone too hard for me?
Perceiv'dst thou not her charming sight,
Did ravish mine in cruell fight?
But then another she must frame,
Whose single forces well might tame
[Page 92] A lovers heart; no humane one,
Is proof against her force alone.
Yet did I venture, though struck mute,
The beauteous vision to salute.
But that like aire in figur'd charms,
Deceiv'd the ambush of my arms.
'Twas some wise Angel her shape took,
That so he might more heavenly look.
I her old captive, now do yield
Her shaddowed self another field:
By such odds overcome, to die,
Is no dishonoured victory.

On Bond the Userer.

HEre lyes a Bond under this tombe,
Seald and deliver'd to, god knows whom.

To the Duke of Buckingham.

WHen I can pay my Parents, or my King'
For life, or peace, or any dearer thing,
Then, dearest Lord, expect my debt to you
Shall be as truly paid, as it is due.
But as no other price or recompence
Serves them, but love, and my obedience.
So nothing payes my Lord, but whats above
The reach of hands, his vertue, and my love.
[Page 93] For when as goodness doth so overflowe,
The conscience binds not to restore but owe,
Requitall were presumpt [...]n, and you may,
Call mee ungratefull, when I strive to pay.
Nor with this morall lesson do I shift
Like one that meant to save a better g [...]ift.
Like very poor or connterfeit poor men,
Who to preserve their Turky or their hen
Do offer up themselves. No, I have sent
(A kind of guift, will last by being spent)
Thanks-starling, farr above the bullion rate
Of horses, hangings, jewells, coyne, or plate.
Oh you that should in choosing of your owne,
Know a true Diamond from a Bristow stone,
You that do know they are not allwayes best
In their intent, that lowdest do portest
But that a prayer from the Convocation,
Is better than the Commons protestation,
Trust them that at your feet their lives will lay
And know no arts but to performe and pray
Whilst they that buy perferment without praying
Begin with bribes, and finish with betraying.

The Gentlemans verses before he Killed himselfe.

HAst Night unto thy Center, are thy winges
Rul'd by the course of dull clockt plum­metings?
[Page 94] If so, mount on my thoughts, & wee'le exceed
All time that's past t'gain midnight with ou [...] speed
The day more favourable hasted on
And by its death sent mee instruction
To make thy darknesse tombe my life, let then
Thy wonted houres seize on the eyes of men
Make them imagine by their sleepe, what I
Must truly act, let each starr veyle his Eye
With masques of mourninge clowdes: me­thinkes the owles
Prodigious summons strike me, and she houles
My Epicedium, with whose tragick quill
Ile pencill in this map my haplesse ill.
Caus'd first by her, whose fowle apostacy
In love for ever brand her; and when I
Am dead, deare paper (my minds heire) convey
This epitaph unto her veiwe, and pray
Her to inscribe it on my tombe.
Here lyes
One murthered by a womans perjuryes
Who from the time, she scorn'd him, scorn'd to live
No rivall shall him of his death deprive.

A Song in commendation of Musicke.

WHen whispering straines doe softly steale
With creeping passion through the heart
And when at every touch wee feel
Our pulses beat and beare a part
When threads can make
A hart string quake
Can scarce denye
The soule consists of harmony.
When unto heavenly joyes we feigne
What ere the soul affecteth most
Which only thus we can explaine
By musick of the winged host.
Whose layes wee thinke
Make starrs to winke
Cannot deny
Our soule consists of harmony.
O lull mee, lull mee, charminge ayr
My senses rockt with wonder sweet
Like snow on wooll, thy fallings are
Soft, like a spirit, are thy feet
Greife who need feare
That hath an eare
Downe let him lye
[Page 96] And slumbring dye
And change his soule for harmony.

A Dialogue betwixt Cupid and a Country-Swaine.

AS Cupid tooke his bow and bolt
Some birding-sport to find;
He lightt upon a shepheards swaine
That was some good mans hinde.
Well met faire Boy, what sport abroad
It is a goodly day:
The birds will sitt this frosty morne
You cannot choose but slay.
Gods-ouches look, your eyes are out
You will not bird I trow:
Alas goe home or else I thinke
The birds will laugh at you.
Why man thou dost deceave thy selfe
Or else my mother lyes
Who sayd that though that I were blind
My arrowes yet had eyes.
Why then thy mother is a voole
And thou art but an elfe,
To let thy arrowes to have eyes
And goe with out thy selfe,
Not, so Sir Swaine, but hold thy prate,
If I do take a shaft
[Page 97] Ile make thee know what I can do
(At this the young Swain laught:)
Then angry Cupid drew his bow
For Gods sake kill mee not.
Ile make thy lither liver ake
Nay Ide be loth of that.
The singing arrow hit the marke
And pierc'd his silly soule
You might see by his hollow eyes
Where love had made a hole.
And so the Swain went bleeding home,
To stay it was no boot:
And found that he could see to hit,
That could not see to shoot.


O Tell mee, tell, thou god of winde
In all thy cavernes canst thou find
A vapor, flame, a gale or blast
Like to a sigh which love doth cast?
Can any whirle-wind in thy vault
Plough up Earths breath with like assault.
Goe Wind and blow then where thou please
Yea breathlesse leave mee to my ease.
If thou bee'st wind, O then refrain
From wracking me whilst I complain;
[Page 98] If thou bee'st wind, then leight thou art
And yet how heavy is my heart?
If thou bee'st wind, then purge thy way
Let care, that cloggs thy force, obey,
Goe wind and blowe, &c.
These blasts of sighing raised are
By th'influence of my bright starre;
The AEolus from whence they came
Is love that straines to blow the same:
The angry Sway of whose behest
Makes hearth and bellowes of one brest.
Go wind and blowe, &c.
Know t'is a wind that longs to blow
Upon my Saint where ere she goe,
And stealing through her fanne it beares
Soft errands to her lipps and eares,
And then perhaps a passage makes
Downe to the heart when breath she takes.
Goe wind and blow, &c.
Yea gentle gale, try it againe,
Oh do not passe from me in vaine;
Go mingle with her soul divine
Engendring spirits like to mine:
Yea take my soul along with thee
To work a stronger Sympathy.
Goe wind and blow, &c.
My soul before the grosser part
Thus to her heaven should depart,
And when my body cannot lie
On wings of wind, she soone shall flye;
Though not one soul our bodies joyne,
Our bodies shall our soules combine.
Goe wind and blow thou where thou please,
Yea breathlesse leave me to my ease.


WEomen are borne in Wilsheire,
Brought up in Cumberland.
Lead their lives in Bedfordsheire
Bring their husbands to Buckingame
And dye in Shrewsbury.

On a dissemble [...].

COuld any show where Pl [...]es people dwell
Whose head stand in their brests, who cannot tell,
A smoothinge lye, because their open heart
And lipps are joyned so neere. I would depart
As quicke as thought, and there forget the wrongs
Which I have sufferd by deceitfull tongues.
I would depart, where soules departed bee
[Page 100] Which being freed from clowdy flesh, can see
Each other so immediately, so cleare,
That none need tongues to speak nor eares to heare:
Were tongues intended to expresse the soul
And can wee better do with none at all?
Where words first made our meanings to re­veale?
And as they us'd our meaning to conceale;
The ayre by which we breathe, will that turne fogg?
Or breath turne mist; will that become a Clogg
Which should unload the mind? fall wee upon
Another Babells Sub-confusion?
And in the selfe same language must wee find,
A diverse faction of the wordes and mind?
Dull as I am, that hug such empty aire,
And never markt the deeds, (a phrase more faire
More trusty and univocall) joyne well,
Three or foure actions wee may quickly spell
A hollow heart; if these no sight will lend,
Read the whole sentence and observe the end.
I wil not waite so long: the guilty man
(On whom I ground my speech) no longer can
Delude my sense, nor can the gracefull art
Of kind dissembling, button up his heart.
His well-spoke wrongs, are such as hurtful [...]ords
Writ in a comely hand, or bloody swords,
Sheathd up in velvet, if he draw on mee
My armour proof is incredulity.

To a Freind.

LIke as the hand which hath bin usd to play
One lesson long, still runs the usuall way:
And waites not what the [...]earers bid it strike,
But doth presume by custome this will like.
So run my thoughts which are so perfect grown,
So well acquainted with my passion;
That now they do prevent mee with their haste
And ere I think to sigh, my sigh is past;
Is past and flown to you, for you alone
Are all the object that I think upon;
And did not you supply my soul with thought
For want of action it to none were brought.
What though our absent armes may not enfold
Reall embraces; yet wee firmly hold
Each other in possession; thus wee see
The Lord enjoyes his Lands where e're he be.
If Knights possest no more then where they sate
What were they greater then a meaner state?
This makes mee firmly yours, you firmly myne
That something more than bodies us combine.

A Poeticall Poem, by Mr. Stephen Locket to Mistrisse Bess Sarney.

TO my Bess Sarney, quintessence of beauty,
I Steven Locket do present my duty.
[Page 102] In rythem daigne goddess to accept my verses,
I wis with worse wise men have wip't their A—
O thou which able art to take to taske all
(Pox! what will rythme to that?) oh, I'me a raskall,
But I'me turnd poet late, and for thy credit,
Have pend this poem, prethee tak't and read it.
Thou needs not be asham'd of't, for it raises
Trophyes as high as maypoles to thy prayses.
But first in order it thy head doth handle
That's more orbicular than a quadrangle.
On top of which doth grow a Turst of tresses
Winter her selfe, rayd in her hoary dresses
Of frost, lookes not more lovely; thy browes truly
Have larger furrowes, than a feild ploughed newly.
Thy eyes, ha eyes (Zounds I'am so full of clin­ches)
Are not sunck in thy head above sixe inches;
From which distraining gently, there doth streame
Rivers of whey, mixed with curdled creame.
Straight as a Rams horne is thy nose, more marrow
Lyes in thy nostrills, than would fill a barrow.
And at your lip to mak't more ornamentall,
Hangs down a jewell of S—Orientall.
The bright gold & thy face are of one colour,
[Page 103] But if compar'd with thine, that is the duller.
Thy lips are white as tallow, never man did
Buss sweeter things, (sure they are sugar­candid.)
Thy teeth more comely than two dirty rakes are,
Thy breath is stronger than a douzen j [...]kes are.
A fa [...]t for all perfumes, a turd for roses
Smell men but thee, they wish them selves all n [...]ses.
Thy voyce as sweet, as musicall, as fine is,
As any phlegmy Hagg's, that ninty nine is.
And when thou speakst, (as if th'had bin the wonder
Of women kind) thy tongu's as still as thun­der
But oh thy shoulders large; 'tis six to seven,
Should Atla's faile, but thou wouldst beare up heaven.
Thou dost excell, I warrant thee for a button,
Hercules and Cacus too, that stole mutton.
About the wast, there thou art three times ful­ler,
Then was the Wadham G [...]ragantuan Buller.
Thy buttock and thy fashion are so all one,
That I'de a swore thou hadst a Fardingall on
Thy leggs are Badg [...]t like, and goe as even,
As do Iambick verses or I Steven,
And now I'm come unto thy feet, where I do
Prostrate my selfe, with reverence to thy shoo,
[Page 104] Which for antiquity ne're a jot behind is.
Tom Coriats, that travell'd both the Indies.
For thy sweet sake, I will go down to Pluto,
And in thy quarrel beat him black & blew too;
And lest Sr Cerberus should be too lusty,
I have a loafe will hold him play, 'tis crusty.
I'le bring the Dev'll back with me in a snaffle,
For in that kind I scorne to take a baffle.
And so I take my leave; prithee sweet Thum­kin,
Hold up thy coats, that I may kisse thy bumkin.

Thanks for a welcome.

FOr your good looks, and for your Claret
For often bidding, Do not spare it;
For tossing glasses to the top,
And after sucking of a drop,
When scarce a drop was left behind,
Or what doth nickname wine e'vn wind:
For healthfull mirth and lusty Sherry,
Such as made grave old Cato merry;
Such are our thanks that you may have
In bloud the Claret that you gave.
And in your service shall be spent
The spirits which your Sack hath lent.

To Phillis.

FYe on this Courtly life, full of displeasure
Where neither frownes nor smiles keepe any measure,
But every passion governs in extremes,
True love and faith from hence falshod doth banish:
And vowes of friendship here like vapours vanish,
Loyalty's counted but a dreame,
Inconstant favours like rivers gliding,
Truth is despis'd
Whilst flatterie's priz'd,
Poore vertue here hath no certaine abi­ding.
Then let's no longer stay, my fairest Phillis,
But let us fly from hence where so much ill is;
Into some some desert place there to abide
True love shall go with us and faith unfained
Pure thoughts, embraces chaste, and vowes un­stain'd.
Vertue her selfe shall ever be our guide,
In Cottage poore where neither frowning fortune,
Nor change of fate
Can once abate,
Our sweet content, or peace at all im­portune.
[Page 106] There will we drive our flocks from hills and vallies,
And whilst they feeding are, wee'l sit & dally;
And thy sweet voyce to sing birds shall invite
Whilst I with roses, violets, and lillies
Will flowry garlands make to crown my Phil­lis.
Or numbred verses to thy praise indite
And when the Sun is Westwardly decli­ning,
Our flocks and we,
Will home wards flee
And rest our selves untill the Suns next shining.


ONce I must confesse I loved
And expected love againe,
But so often as I proved
My expectance was in vaine.
Women joy to be attempted,
And do glory when they see
Themselves from loves force exempted,
And that men captived bee.
If they love, they can conceale it,
And dissemble when they please,
When as men will straight reveale it
And make known their hearts disease.
Men must beg and crave their favour,
Making many an idle vow;
Whilst they froward in behaviour,
Faine would yeild, but know not how.
Sweet stolne-sport to them is gratefull,
And in heart they wish to have it;
Yet they do account it hatefull
Upon any termes to crave it.
But would men not goe about it
But leave off at all to woe,
Ere they would be long without it,
They would beg and crave it too.

The World.

WHether men do laugh or weep,
Whether they doe wake or sleep,
Whether they feele heat or cold,
Whether they be young or old;
There is underneath the Sun
Nothing in true earnest done.
[Page 108] All our pride is but a jest,
None are worst and none are best;
Greife and joy, and hope and feare,
Play their pageants every where;
Vaine opinion all doth sway
And the world is but a play.
Powers above in clouds doth sit,
Marking our poore apish wit,
That so lamely without state,
Their high glory imitate.
No ill can be felt but paine,
And that happy men disdaine.

On his absent Mistresse.

ABsence, heare thou my protestation
Against thy strength,
Distance and length;
Do what thou canst for alteration:
For hearts where love's refin'd
Are absent joyn'd, by tyme combin'd.
Who loves but where the Graces be,
His mind hath found
Affectious ground
Beyond time place mortality,
That heart that cannot varie,
Absence is present tyme doth carry.
By absence this good meane I gaine
That I can catch her,
Where none can watch her,
In some close corner of my brain,
There I embrace her, and there kisse her
And so enjoy her, and so misse her.

The Constant Lover.

I Know as well as you, shee is not faire,
Nor hath she sparkling eyes or curled haire;
Nor can shee brag of vertue or of truth,
Or any thing about her save her youth.
Shee is woman too, and to no End
I know, I verses write and letters send:
And nought I doe can to compassion move her
Al this I know, yet cannot choose but love her.
Yet am not blind as you and others bee;
Who think and sweare they littile Cupid see
Play in their Mistris eyes, and that there dwell
Roses on cheekes, and that her brest excell
The whitest snow, as if that love were built
On fading red and white' the bodies quilt.
And that I cannot love unless I tell
Wherein or on what part my love doth dwell.
Vaine Hereticks you bee, for I love more
Then ever any did that told wherefore:
Then trouble mee no more, nor tell mee why,
Tis! because shee is shee, and I am I:

The Irish Beggar.

I Pray you save poore Irish knave,
A hone a hone
Round about the towne throughout
Is poore Shone gone,
Master to find,
Loving and kinde
But Shone to his mind's
Neare the neere,
Poore Shone can find none heere
Which makes him cry for feare,
A hone a hone.
Sh [...]n being poore, his feet being sore,
For which heele no more
Trot about,
To find Master out,
He had radir go without
And cry a hone,
I was so curst that I was forc't
A hone a hone.
To goe bare foot and strips to boot
And no shooes, none,
None English could I speake,
My mind for to breake,
And many laught to heare the moane I made,
I like a tyred jade,
That had no worke or trade,
Cryed, a hone a hone.
In stead of breakfast,
Was faine runn a pace
To gett more stomach to my hungry throate,
And when for freind I sought,
They calld me all to nought,
A hone a hone.
For Ladyes sake some pitty take;
A hone a hone.
I serv'd a lasse where was no masse
No faith none;
Oft was I beat 'cause Ide not eat,
On frydayes, beefe and meat,
Twice a day,
And when I went to pray,
Tooke holy bead away;
A hone a hone.
Make Church to go
Whether will or no
Ile dye, or I doe so,
Grace a Christ,
Poor Shone loves Popish Preist,
Good Catholick thou seest.
A hone a hone.


I prithee Shone make no more mone
For thy Mr lost.
I doe intend something to spend,,
On Catholicks thus Crost.
Take this small guift,
And with it make a shift;
And bee not thou bereft of thy minde,
All though hee be unkind;
To leave thee thus behind
To cry a hone.
Buy thee some beere,
And then some good cheere,
There's nought for thee too deare;
What ere ensue
Be constant still and true,
Thy country do not rue
Nor cry a hone.
Good shentry men that do intend
To helpe poore Shone at's need
Mine patron [...]eer hath given mee beere
And meat whereon to feed,
Yea and money too
And so I hope that you,
VVill do as he did do for my reliefe,
To ease my paine and greife;
Ile eat no powdred beefe;
VVhat ere ensue
Ile keep my fast
As in times past,
And all my prayers and vowes I will renew
Cause friends I find but few,
Poore Shone will still prove true,
And so adieu.

A Question.

I aske thee whence those ashes were
Which shrine themselves in plaits of haire?
Unknown to me, sure each morne dyes.
A Phoenix for a sacrifice.
I aske whence are those aires that flye
From birds in sweetest harmony?
Unknown to me, but sure the choice
Of accents ecchoed from her voice.
I aske thee whence those active fires
Take light which glide through burnisht aire?
Unknown to me, unlesse there flyes
A flash of lightning from her eyes.
I aske thee whence those ruddy bloomes
Pierce on her cheekes on scarlet gownes?
Unknowne to me? Sure that which flyes
From fading roses, her cheek dyes.
Ile ask thee of the lilly, whence
It gaind that type of innocence?
Unknowne to me, sure natures deck [...]
Was ravish'd from her snowie necke.

The Reply.

ASke me no more, whither do stray
The golden atomes of the day;
For in pure love, heaven did prepare
Those powders, to enrich your haire.
Aske me no more whither doth haste
The nightingal when summer's past;
For in your sweet devided throat
She winters, and keepes warme her noate.
Aske me no more where those starres light
VVhich downewards stoop in dead of night;
For in your eyes they sett; and there
Fixed become, as in their spheare.
Aske me no more where Iove bestowes,
When Iune is past, the fading rose;
For in your beauties Orient deep,
All flowers as in their bedds do sleep.
Aske me no more if East or West,
The Phoenix builds her spiced nest;
For unto you at last she flyes,
And in your fragrant bosome dyes.

The Mock-Song.

I Tell you true, whereon doth light
The dusky shade of banisht night,
For in just vengeance heavens allow
It still should shine upon your brow.
I tell you true where men may seek
The sound which once the owle did shreek,
For in your false deviding throat
It lyes, and death is in its noate.
I tell you true whither do passe
The siniling look out of a glasse;
It leapes into your face, for there
A falser shadow doth appeare.
Ile tell you true whither are blowne
The airy wheeles of Thistle down,
They fly into your mind, whose care
Is to be light as thistles are.
I tell you true within what nest
The stranger Cuckoe's eggs do rest,
It is your bosome which can keepe
Nor him, nor him, where one should sleepe.

The Moderatix.

ILe tell you where another sun
That setts, as riseing it begun.
It is my selfe who keepes one spheare
And were the same if men so were.
What need I tell, that life and death,
May passe in sentence from one breath;
So issue from my equall heart
Both love and scorn for mens desert.
Ile tell you in what heavenly hell
An Angell and a friend may dwell:
It is myne eye whose glassy book
Sends back the gazers divers look.
Ile tell you in a divers scale
One weight can up and downewards hale:
You call me thistle, you a rose;
I neither am, yet both of those.
Ile tell you where both frost and fire
In peace of common feat conspire;
[Page 117] My frozen brest that flint is like,
Yet yeilds a fire if you will strike.
Then you that love, and you that loath.
With one aspect I answer both;
For round about me glowes a fire,
Can melt and harden grosse desire.

The affirmative answer.

OH no, heaven saw mens fancyes stray
To idolize but dust and clay;
That embleme gave that they might see,
Your beautye's date but dust must bee.
No Philomel when summers gon
Hasts to the wood her rape to moane;
(Unwilling hers) a shamd to see
Your (unlike hers) unchastity.
Oh no, those starrs flye but the sight
Of what you act in dead of night,
A shamd themselves should Pandars prove
In your unsatiate beastly love.
Oh no, that rose when Iune is past
Lookes pale as with a poysonous blast;
And such your beauty, when as time
Like winter shall oretake your prime.
Oh no the Phoenix shuns the place,
And feares the lustfull fires t'embrace,
Of your hot brest and barren wombe,
As death or some perpetuall tombe.

A discourse between a Poet and a Painter.

PAinter, I p [...]ithee pencill to the life
The woman thou wouldst willingly call wife,
Fashion her from the head unto the heel,
So perfect that but gazing thou mayst feel
Pigmaleons passion: colour her faire haire,
Like amber, or to something else more rare,
Temper a white shall passe Pyrenean snow,
To raise her temples, and on it bestow
Such artificiall azure, that the Eye,
May make the heart beleeve the ma [...]ble skye,
To perfect her had melted in soft raines,
Lending a blew to brauuch her swelling veines,
Then Painter, to come lower, her sweet chin,
I would have small and white, not much trench'd in;
Nor alltogether plain, but such an one
The nicest thought may judge equall to none.
Her nose I would have comely, not too high,
Though men call it, in Physiognomy,
[Page 119] A type of honour; nor too low▪ f [...]r then
They I say, sh [...]'s known (God knowes) how many men;
Nor broad, nor flat, that's the hard favour'd mould:
Nor thin, nor sharp, for then they'le call her scold.
Apparrell it in such a speaking grace,
That men may read Majesty in her face.
Her lipps a paire of blushing twinnes so red,
Nice fancy may depart away full fed.
But, Painter, when thou com [...]st unto her eye,
There let thy Pencill play; there cunningly
Expresse thy selfe, for as at feasts▪ so here
The dainties I keep last to crown the cheer.
Make her eye Love [...] [...]veet argument, a look
That may discourse▪ make it a well w [...]it book,
Whereas in faire set [...] of art,
Men there may read the story of her heart.
Whiter than white, if you would po [...]rtray ought,
Display her neck cure as the purest thought.
To make her gratious give her a broad brest
Topt with two milkie mountains; down her chest.
Between those hills let Loves sweet vally lye,
The pleasing thraldome of a Love-sick eye.
Still, Painter, to fall lower paint her waste
Straight as the Cedar, or the Norway Mast,
To take a modest step, let men but guesse
By her neat foot a hidden handsomnesse.
[Page 120] Thus, Paint [...]r, I would have her in each part,
Remaine unmatcht by nature or by art.
Canst thou doe this?
Pa [...]nter.
—Yes Sir, Ile draw a feature,
You shall conclude that art hath out-done nature,
The Pencill Sir, shall force you to confesse,
It can more lively than your pen expresse.
That by this then let me find,
To this body draw a mind;
O Painter, to your pencill fall,
And draw me something rationall:
Give her thoughts, serious, secure,
Holy, chaste, religious, pure.
From vertue never known to start,
Make her an understanding heart.
Seat the Graces in her mind,
A well taught truth, a faith refin'd
From doubts and jelousies; and give
Unto her heart a hope may live
Longer then time, untill it be
Perfected by Eternity.
Give her an honest loving mind,
Neither too coy, nor yet too kind:
But let her equall thoughts so raise her,
Loose thoughts may f [...]are, and the chast praise her.
Then, Painter, next observe this rule,
A principle in Apelles Schoole;
[Page 121] Leave not too much space between
Her tongue and heart, 'tis seldome seen
That such tell truth; but let there be,
Between them both a sympathy:
For she whose tongue and heart keep even
In every syllable, courts heaven:
If otherwise, this maxim know,
False above's not true below.
Thus mind and body let her be all over,
A golden text bound in a golden cover.
Canst thou doe this?
—But Sir, 'Is't your intent
I should draw her in both parts excellent?
It is.
Then in plain words, not in dark sense to lurk,
Find you the woman; and 'Ile fall to work.

To B. R. for her Bracelets.

TIs not (Deare Love) that Amber twist
Which circles round thy captive wrist,
Can have the power to make me more
Your pris'ner then I was before.
Though I that bracelet dearer hold,
Than Misers would a chaine of gold.
Yet this but tyes my outward part,
Heart-strings alone can tye my heart.
'Tis not that soft and silken [...],
Your hands did unto mine bequeath;
Can bind with halfe so powerfull charmes,
As the Embraces of your armes;
Although not iron bands (my faire)
Can bind more fiercely than your [...]aire.
Yet that will chaine me most will be,
Your heart in True Love's-knot to me.
Tis not those beams, your haires, nor all
Your glorious out-side doth me thrall;
Although your lookes have force enough
To make the stateliest Tyrants bow:
Nor any angell could deny,
Your person his idolatry.
Yet I do not so much adore
The temple, but the goddesse more.
If then my soul you would confine
To prison, tye your heart to mine;
Your noble vertues, constant love,
The only powerfull chaines will prove;
To bind me ever, such as those
The hands of death shall ne're unloose.
Untill I such a prisoner be
No liberty can make me free.

On Tom Holland and Nell Cotton.

A Light young man lay with a lighter woman,
And did request their things might bee in common;
And gave her (when her good will he had got­ten,
A yard of Holland for an ell of Cotton.

A We lchman.

JEnkin a welchman having suites in law
Journying to London chance to steal a Cow;
For which (pox on her luck as ere man saw)
VVas burnt with in the fist, her know not how.
Being ask'd how well the case did with him stand
Wee's have her now (quoth Ienkin) in her hand.

A Woman that scratcht her Husband.

A VVoman lately fiercely did assail
Her husband with sharp speech, but sharper nail;
On that stood by and saw her, to her sed
Why do you use him so? he is your head.
He is my head (quoth she) indeed tis true,
I do but scratch my head, and so may you.

A Mistris.

HEr for a Mistris, would I faine enjoy,
That hangs the lipp and pouts for every toy:
Speakes like a wag, is bold, dares boldly stand
And bid love welcome with a wanton hand.
Laughs lowd, and for one blow will give you three
And when shee's stabbd, will fall a kissing me.
If shee be modest wise and chast of life,
Hang her shee's good for nothing but a wife.

One fighting with his wife.

MEg and her husband Tom, not long agoe,
VVere at it close, exchanging blow for blow.
Both being eager, both of a stout heart,
Endured many a bang ere they would part.
Peter lookt on & would not stint the strife,
He's curst (quoth he) that parteth man and wife.


THe whistling windes me-thinkes do wit­nesse this,
No greif so great as to have liv'd in blisse.
[Page 125] Then only this poore plain song will I sing.
I was not borne, nor shall I dye a King.
To leape at honour is a daungerous case,
See but the gudgeons they will bite a pace.
Untill the fatall hook be swallowed downe,
Wherewith ambition angles for a crowne:
Then be content and let the baite passe by,
He hath enough that lives contentedly.
But if thou must advancement have, then see
This is the way thou must advanced be.
True temporizing is the meanes to climbe
There is no musick without keeping time.

Upon a Gardiner.

COuld he forget his death? that every houre
Was emblem'd to it by the fading flowre:
Should he not mind his end? yes needshe must,
That still was conversant'mongst bedds of dust.
Then let no on yon in an handchercher
Tempt your sad eyes unto a needlesse feare;
If he that thinkes on death well lives & dyes,
The gardner sure is gon to paradise.

On his first Love.

MY first love whom all beautyes did ado [...]
Fireing my heart, supprest it with her scorn.
And since like tynder in my heart it lyes
By every sparkle made a sacrifice.
Each wanton eye now kindleth my desire
And that is free to all which was entire.
For now my wandring thoughts are not con­fin'd
Unto one woman, but to woman-kind.
This for her shape I love, that for her face,
This for her gesture, or som other grace:
And somtimes when I none of these can find
I chuse her by the kernell not the rinde.
And so do hope though my cheife hope is gone
To find in many what I lost in one.
And like to merchants which have some great losse
Trade by retayle which cannot do in grosse.
She is in fault, which caus'd me first to stray
Needs must he wander, who hath lost his way▪
Guiltlesse I am, she did the change provoke,
Which made that charcole which at first was ok [...]
For as a looking glasse to the aspect,
Whilst it was whole doth but one face reflect;
But crac [...] or broak in peeces, there is shown [...]
Many lesse faces, where was first but one.
So-love unto my heart did first preferre
Her image, and there planted none but her:
[Page 127] But when twas crackt & martyrd by her scorne
Many lesse faces in her seat were borne,
Thus like to tinder I am prone to catch
Each falling sparkle, fit for any match.

To his Mistris.

I Will not doe sacrifice
To thy face, or to thy eyes
Nor unto thy lilly palme
Nor thy breath that wounding balme:
But the part
To which my heart
In vowes is sealed,
Is that mine
Of blisse divine
Which is concealed.
Whats the golden fruit to me
So I may not shake the tree?
What's that golden architecture
If I may not touch the nectar?
Bare enjoying all the rest
Is but like a golden feast,
Which at need,
Can never feed
Our love sick-wishes
Let me eate,
Substantiall meat,
Not view the dishes.

To his letter.

FLy paper, kisse those hands
Whence I am bard of late:
She quickly will unloose thy bands,
O wish me thine estate.
Appeare unto her eyes
Though they do burne to fumes:
For happy is the sacrifice,
Which heaven-fire consumes.
Yet ev'n with this depart
With a soft dying breath,
Whisper the truths into her heart,
And take them on thy death.
Tell her thou canst not now
New oathes or give or take,
Or to repeat the former vow
Wee did each other make.
Say thou cam'st to complain
But not of love, nor her
But on my fortune being faine
Thus absent to conferre.
When thou hast offer'd this
Perhaps then for thy payne,
She will inpart to thee a kisse
And read the ore againe.
Perhaps when form my sake,
Her lipps have made thee blest,
That so embalmd [...]hee, she will make
Thy grave within her brest.
Oh never then desire
To rise from such a roome:
Who would not leave his life t'aspire
In death to such a tombe.
And in these joyes excesse,
Melt, languish, faint, and dye▪
For might I have so good accesse
To her, ev'n so would I.

An Epitaph upon Hurry the Taylor.

WIthin this tombe is honest Hurry layd,
Who in good fashion liv'd, good fashion dy'd.
T'is strange that death so soon cut off his thread
Som say his end not full done, he was dead.
But here the knot is, and I thus it scann
He took a yard, whose due was but a spann.
How er [...] hee's happy, and I know full well
He's now in heaven since here he had his hell.

Scylla toothlesse.

SCylla is toouthlesse; yet when she was young,
She had both tooth enough, and too much tongue:
What should I now of toothlesse Scylla say?
But that her tongue hath worne her teeth away.


AN honest Vicar riding by the way,
Not knowing better how to spend the day
Did sing unto himself Genevaes psalmes;
A blind man hearing him straight askt an almes
To whom (quoth he) with coine I cannot part,
But god bless thee good man with all my heart,
O said the man the greater is my losse,
When such as you do blesse without a crosse.

On a Ribband.

THis silken wreath that circles-in my arms
Is but an emblem of your mystick charmes;
Wherewith the magick of your beauty binds
My Captive soule, and round about it winds;
[Page 131] Time may weare out these soft weak bands, but those:
Strong chaines of brasse fate shall not discom­pose
This holy relique may preserve my wrist,
But my whole frame by th'other doth subsist:
To that my prayers and sacrifice, to this
I only pay a superstitious kisse.
This but the idoll, that the deity;
Religion there is due, here ceremony.
That I receive by faith, this but in trust;
Here I may [...]ender duty, ther [...] I must:
This other like a layman I may bear
But I become loves preist when that I weare;
This moves like ayre, that as the center stands,
That knot your vertue [...]yes, this but your hands.
That nature fram'd, but this is made by art
This makes my arme your prisoner, that my heart.

To a Gentlewoman, desiring a copie of Verses.

FAire Madam, cast those Diamonds away,
What need their torchlight in so bright a day:
These show within your beauties glorious noon
[Page 132] No more than spangles fixed in the moon:
Such jewells then the truest lustre beare
When they hang dangling in an Aethiop's eare
But placed neere a beauty, thats so bright
Like starres in day-time they are lost from sight
In this you do your sex a great abuse,
These are not pretious stemmes for womens use.
Nature to men hath better jewells sent,
Which serve for active use not ornament.
Then let us make exchange, since that those be
Fitter for you, and these more fit for me.

On Dr. Corbett's Marriage.

COme all yee Muses and rejoyce,
At our Apolloes happy choice.
Phoebus has conquer'd Cupids charme,
Fair Daphne f [...]yes into his arme.
If Daphne be a tree, then marke,
Apollo is become the barke.
If Daphne be a branch of bay,
He weares her for a crowne to day:
O happy bridegrome which dost wed
Thy selfe unto a virgins bed.
Let thy love burne with hot desire,
She l [...]kes no oyle to feed the fire.
You know not poore Pigmaleons lot
Nor have you a meere idoll got.
[Page 133] You no Ixion, you no proud
Iuno makes imbrace a cloud.
Looke how pure Dianaes skin
Appeares as it is shadow'd in
A crystall streame; or looke what grace,
Shines in fair Venus lovely face;
Whilst She Adonis courts and woes
Such beautyes, yea and more than those,
Sparkle in her; see but her soul,
And you will judge those beautyes foul.
Her rarest beautye is within,
She's fairest where she is not seen;
Now her perfection's character
You have approv'd and chosen her.
Oh precious she! at this wedding,
The jewell weares the marriage ring.
Her understanding's deep, like the
Venetian Duke you wedd the sea,
A sea deep, bottomelesse, profound,
And which none but your selfe may sound.
Blind Cupid shot not this love-dart,
Your reason chose, and not your heart;
You knew her little, and when her
Apron was but a muckender,
VVhen that same Corrall which doth deck
Her lippes, she wore about her neck:
You courted her, you woed her not
Out of a window; shee was got,
And borne your wife; it may be se'd,
Her cradle was her marriadge bed.
[Page 134] The ring too was layd up for it
Untill her finger was growne fit;
You once gave her to play withall
A babie, and I hope you shall
This day your auncient guift renew,
So she will do the same for you:
In Virgin wax imprint upon
Her brest your owne impression,
You may (there is no treason in't,)
Coine sterling, now you have a mint.
You now are stronger than before,
Your side hath in it on ribb more.
Before she was a kin to me
Only in soul and amity.
But now wee are, since shee your bride,
In soul and bodye both allyde.
T'is this hath made me lesse to doe,
And I in one can honour two.
This match a riddle may be styld,
Two mothers now have but on child;
Yet need we not a Salomon
Each mother here enjoyes her owne▪
Many there are I know have try'd,
To make her their owne lovely bride;
But it is Alexanders lot,
To cut in twaine the Gordian knot:
Claudia to prove that she was chast,
Tyed but a girdle to her wast;
And drew a ship to Rome by land
But now the world may understand;
[Page] Here is a Claudia to faire bride,
Thy spotlesse innocence is tryed,
None but thy girdle could have led,
Our Corbet to a marriage bed.
Come all ye muses and rejoyce,
At this your nursling's happy choyce:
Come Flora straw the bridemayds bed
And with a garden crowne her head,
Or if thy flowers be to seek,
Come gather roses at her cheek.
Come Hymen light thy torches, let
Thy bed with tapers be beset.
And if there be no fire by,
Come light thy taper at her eye,
In that bright eye there dwells a starre,
And wisemen by it guided are.
In those delicious eyes there be,
Two little balls of ivory;
How happy is he then that may
With these two dainty balls goe play,
Let not a teare drop from that eye
Unlesse for very joy to cry.
O let your joy continue; may
A whole age be your wedding day.
O happy virgin, it is true,
That your deare spouse embraceth you.
Then you from heaven are not farre,
But sure in Abrahams bosome are,
Come all ye muses and rejoyce
At our Apollo's happy choice.

Mart. Epigr. 59 lib: 5.

THoul't mend to morrow, thus thou still tell'st me
Faine would I know but this, when that will be?
Where might a man that bliss-full morning finde,
In vast Armenia, or in urmost Inde?
This morning comes as slow as Platoes yeare,
What might this morning cost (for sure tis deare?)
Thoul't mend to morrow: Now's too late; I say
He's only wise that mended yesterday.

In Richardum quendam, Divitem, Avarum.

DEvising on a time what name I might
Best give unto a dry illiberall chuffe,
After long search on his owne name I light,
Nay then (said I) No more, I have enough;
His name and nature do full well agree
For's name is Rich and hard; and so is he.

In Thomam quendam Catharum.

THomas the puritan, cannot abide
The name of Christmas, Candlemas, or such
[Page 137] But calls them ever Christide, Candletide,
At all to name the masse (forsooth) to much:
Thomas by this your rule the sacred font
In Baptism must be-wash your limmes againe,
And a new name you must receive upon't
For superstitious Thomas youl disdaine.
Then might I be your god [...]e, or his guide,
Instead of Thomas you shall have Tom-tyde.

Epilogus Incerti Authoris.

LIke to the mowing tone of unspoke speeches,
Or like two lobsters clad in logick breeches;
Or like the gray fleece of a crimson catt,
Or like a moone-calfe in a slippshoo hatt;
Or like the shaddow when the sunne is gone,
Or like a thought, that nev'r was thought upon,
Even such is man who never was begotten,
Untill his children were both dead and rotten.
Like to the fiery touch-hole of a cabbage,
Or like a crablowse with his bag and baggage.
Or like the guilt reflection of the winde,
Or like th' abortive issue borne behind,
Or like the four square circle of a ring,
Or like high downe a ding a ding a ding.
[Page 138] Even such is man who breathlesse without doubt
Spake to small purpose when his tongue was out.
Like the fresh colours of a withered Rose
Or like a running verse that's writ in prose.
Or like the umbles of a tynder box,
Or like a sound man, troubled with the pox.
Or like to hobbnayles coyn'd in single pence,
Lest they should lose their preterperfect­tence
Ev'n such is man who dyed, and yet did laugh,
To read these strong lines for his Epitaph.


By I. S.

LONDON, Printed Anno Dom. 1658.

The Epistle Dedicatory to the Reader.

COurteous Reader, I had not gone my full time, when by a sudden flight occasioned by the Beare and Wheel-barrow on the Bank-side, I fell in travaile, and therefore cannot call this, a timely Issue, but a Mischance, which I must put out to the world to nurse; hoping it will be fostered with the greater care, because of its own innocency. The reasons why the Dedication is so generall, is to avoid Carps in the Fishpond of this world, for now no man may reade it, but must pa­tronize it.

And must protect what he would greet perchance,
If he were not the Patron with def-iance.

[Page] You see here I have much adoe to hold in my muse from her jumping meeter: 'tis time to let slip. For as the cunning statua­rist did by Alcides foot guesse at the pro­portion of his whole body, so doe I for­beare the application of this Simile and rest,

Yours ever. I. S.

To his Worthy Friend Mr. I. S. upon his happy Innovation of Penelope and Vlysses.

IT was no idle fancie, I beheld
A reall obiect, that around did gild
The neighbouring vallies and the mountaine tops,
That sided to Parnassus, with the drops
From her disheveld hayre. I sought the cause.
And loe, she had her dwelling in the jawes
Of pearly Helicon, assign'd to bee
Guide ore the Comick straynes of poetry.
She lowr'd her flight, and soone assembled all,
That since old Chaucer had tane leave to call,
Upon her name in print: But O the rabble
Of pamphleteers even from the court toth' stable,
Knights, and dis [...]arded Captaines, with the scrib [...];
Famous in water-works, besides the tribe
Of the true poets, they attended on
The birth of this great Convocation.
Sacred Thalia, in an angrie heat
That well became her zeale, rose from her seat;
And beckoning for silence, there disclaym'd,
Protection of the poets, and then nam'd
The cause of her revoke, for that (quoth she)
So many panders 'long to poetry:
[Page 140] A crue of Scriblers that with brazen face
Prostitute art and worke unto disgrace
My patronage, each calling out on mee
For midwife to his bastard progenie.
Thus standing as [...]rotectresse of that brood
My care's ill construed by the sister-hood.
With that she paused a while, and glanc'st her eye
Among st the mingled pen-wrights, to descrie
One to d [...]stinguish by a different style,
Dull Latmus from Diviner Pindus soyle,
At length she six't on thee, and then anon
Proclaym'd the her selected champion.
Then was this worke presented to her care.
She smiled at it, and was pleas'd to heare
Dunces so well traduc'd; and by this rule,
Discoverd all that nere were of the schoole
Of noble poesie, and them she threw
Farre from her care and her aquantance too;
Thus were they found and lost, and this the test,
They writ in earnest what's here meant in jest.
James Atkins.

To his Precious Friend I. S. upon his choyse conceipt of Penelope and Ulysses.

LOng look't for comes at last; twas sayd of old [...],
I'le use the proverb; herein I am bold:
For if the ancient Poets don't belie us
Nihil jam dictum quod non dictum pri [...]s:
But let that passe: the thing I would intend,
With my unpolist lines, is to commend
A worke that may to an ingenious care
Be its owne or ator; for nothing here,
But grate's this stupid age, wherein each ma [...]e
That can but [...]yme, is poet laureat.
It is the scorne of time, and for m [...] par [...]
That at the best am but af [...]eind to art,
My senses ake to heare the cry advance
And dot [...] upon the workes of ignorance;
Let focles admire folly: while I thee
That into pastime turn'st their poetrie.

To his Sonne, upon his Minerva.

THou art my son, [...] [...]y choyse is spoke;
[...]hine with thy fathers muse strikes equall stroke,
It shewd more art in Virgil to relate,
And make it worth th' heareing, his Gnats fate;
Then to conceive what those great mindes must be
That sought and found out fruitfull Italic.
And such as read and do not apprehend
And with applause the purpose and the end
Of this neat Poem, in themselves confesse
A dull stupiditie and barrennesse.
Methinks I do behold in this rare birth
A temple built up to facetious mirth,
Pleasd Phoebus smiling on it; doubt not then,
But that the suffrage of juditious men
Will honour this Thalia; and for those
That praise Sr. Bevis, or whats worse in pros [...],
Let them dwell still in ignorance. To write
In a new strain, and from it ra [...]se delight
As thou in this hast done, doth not by chance
But merit, crowne thee with the laurell branch.
Phillip Massenger.

To his Deare Friend Mr. I. S. upon his quaint Innovation of Penelope and Ulysses.

FLy, Fly my muse, this is the tyme if ever
[...] try thy [...]ings, now sore aloftor ne [...];
Importune fame, for 'tis her hand must owe
A glory to this temple. Bid her blow,
Till her lungs crack and call the world to see
A worke that else wil [...] [...]'ts owne trumpet be.
I would not have the squeamish Age to jeare
Or slight my muse for bringing up the reare:
Nor let the garish rabble looke a squint,
As though I were one of their tribe in print;
It is a Trust that fitly does become
My matchlesse freindship to have such a Rome
For know no vulgar pen could ever glory
To be the Master of so choise a story.
Blush, Blush, for shame, yee wood-be-poets all,
Here see [...]our faces, let this glasse recall
Your faults to your remembrance, numbers, rym
Your long parentheses, and verse that clim [...]
Up to the elbow; here you may descry
Such stuffe as weaker wits call poetry:
From hence-forth let no pedling rimers dare
Prophane Thalias alters with such ware.
For which great cure, this booke unto thy name
Shallbe a trophy of immortall fame.
I. M.

The Author to the Author. To his worthy Friend I. S. upon his happy Translation of Ulysses and Penelope.

LEt joy possesse the universall Globe,
The worke is donne, bright Sol is in his robe,
Let time and nature breathe, and let the arts,
Pause here a while, they have perform'd their parts
And as a Man, that from the Alpes doth fall
Being in drinke, and has no hurt at all:
When afterwards hee has considerd well,
An [...] veiw'd the Al [...]itude, from whence hee fell,
When in his sober thoughts hee has the hint on't
It frights him more then to endure the dint on't;
Even so our Author, when hee veiwes aright
What time and industry have brought to light,
May more be troubled both in M [...]nd and Wit,
[...]o thinke what's donne, then in the doing it,
If at the spring and Birth-day of Glendour,
Whom storyes treat of for a Man and more,
If then I say there was such notice taken,
That VVales and all her Mountaniers were shaken,
What Alteration must there needes be now,
To usher in thine Issue! who knowes how
[Page 145] To fadom thought, or tye the starres in strings?
Such must his learning be that kens these things.
Me-thinks the spheares should falter, and the sage
Should from this time reckon another age,
Gossips shall make it famous, It shall bee
The common Meatpole to Posterity:
The time of Edmonds and of Gertrude's birth,
Was three yeares after such aworke came forth,
Then was the great eclipse, and that the time
When this Mans Granfather was in his prime;
Hackster the Back-sword-man then broke his Arme,
That yeare old Honyman his Bees did swarme,
And if I guesse aright, began that yeare
The Hollanders Plantation in York-shire.
Thus shall all Accidents be brought about,
And this the onely time to find em out.
Men did of old count from the dayes of Adam,
And Eve the spinster (no newes then of Madam,)
Some from Diana's Temple, that rare peece,
Some from the stealing of the Golden fleece;
From moderne Matters som their Reckoning make
From the great voyage of Sr: Francis Drake,
Other's from 88, and some there are
That count from bringing of the Brook from VVare.
But all these things shall be abolish'd quite,
And no Man now shall aprehend delight,
To have a sonne a daughter or a neece,
Their age not dated with this master-peece.
[Page 146] More I would say, much more; but that I fear
My liberall commendations would appeare
Like to the Gates of Thebes, where all, and some,
Fear'd lest the citty should run out at 'um,
Such may my error be, whilst here I sing,
Great Neptunes Anthems, to salute a spring,
Bùt such a spring, as all that ere have seene it
Confesse theres nought but spirit of waters in it.
And here let me excuse that prity Elfe
Thy froward Muse that left thee to thy selfe;
Whom thou upbraidst for that; which I replye,
Was nought but Advantagious Policy;
T'was a good Omen when she backward went
That she would arme her selfe with double hint
And so shee did, they'l say, that doe peruse ore
This seeming pamphlet which a [...]onensues your
Loving Friend. I. S.

The Author to himselfe.

HIgh as the Alpes my towring muse dos wing it,
To snach the laurell from fames fane, & fling it
Even at thy crowne, thy crowne; where may it sit,
Till time it selfe, being non-plus'd, wither it.
Each stroake that herein of thy pen made proof,
Is like the stamp of Pegasus his hoof,
And does uncurtaine where does sit and sing,
The Heliconians, round about the spring.
I wish the world this pamphlet had not seene,
Or having veiw'd it, it had faulty been.
Then might I still have lov'd thee, cruell fate
Has made the now the object of my hate:
For envy feedes on merit, but believe mee,
I love thy person, though thy worth does grieve me.
I. S.

The Preface to that most elaborate piece of Poetry, entituled, Penelope and Ulysses.

NO, I protest, not that I wish the gaines
To spoile the trade of mercenary braines,
I am indifferently bent, so, so,
Whether I ever sell my workes or no.
Nor was't my aime when I took pen in fingers,
To take imployment from the Ballad-singers;
Nor none of th [...]se: But on a gloomy day,
My genius stept to me, and thus gan say;
Listen to me, I give you information,
This History deserves a grave translation;
And if comparisons be free from slanders,
I say, as well as Hero and Leanders.
This said, I took my chaire, in colours wrought,
Which at an outcry, with two stoo [...]es I bought.
The stooles of Dornix, which that you may know well
Are certain stuffs, Upholsters use to s [...]ll.
Stuffs, said I? No: some Linsey- Wolsey-monger mixt them,
They were not Stuff nor Cloth sure, but betwixt them.
The Ward [...] bought them in, it was without
High [...] Faringdon, and there a greasie lout
Bid for them shillings six, but I bid seven,
A summe that is accounted odd, not [...]ven:
The Cryer thereat seemed to be willing,
Q [...]oth he, there's no man better then seven shilling,
He thought it was a reasonable price,
So struck upon the Table, once, twice, thrice,
My pen in one hand, Pen-knife in the other,
My Ink was good, my Paper was no other.
So sat me down, being with sadnesse moved,
To sing this new Song, sung of old by Ovid.
[Page 149] But would you think, as I was thus preparing
All in a readinesse, here and there staring
To find my implements, that th' untoward Elfe,
My Muse, should steal away, and hide her selfe,
Just so it was, faith, neither worse nor better.
A way she run, er'e I had writ a Letter.
I after her a pace, and beat the Bushes,
Rank Grasse, Firrs, Ferne, and the tall Banks of Rushes
At last I found my M [...]se, and wot you what,
I put her up, for lo she was at squat.
Thou sl [...]t quoth I, hadst thou not run away,
I had made Verses all th [...]s live-long day.
But in good sooth, o're much I d [...]rst not chide her,
Lest she should run away, and hide her
But when my heat was o're I spake thus to her;
Why did'st thou play the wag? I'm very [...]ure.
I have commended thee, above old Chaucer;
And in a Tavern once I had a Sawcer
Of White-wine Vinegar, dasht in my face,
For saying thou deservedst a better grace:
Thou knowst that then I took a Sawsedge up,
Upon the knaves face it gave such a clap,
That he repented him that he had spoken
Against thy Fame, he struck by the same token,
I oft have sung thy Meeters, and sometimes,
I laught to set on others at thy rimes,
When that my Muse considered had this geare,
She sigh'd so sore, it griev'd my heart to heare,
She said she had done ill, and was not blameless,
And Polyhym [...]ey (one that shal be namelesse,
Was present when she spoke it) and before her,
My Muses lamentation was the soarer.
And then to shew she was not quite unkinde,
She sounded out these strong lines of her minde.

THE INNOVATION OF Vlysses and Penelope.

O All ye 1 Cliptick Spirits of the Sphaeres
That have or 2 sense to hear or 3 use of eares,
And you in number 4 twelve Caelestiall Signes
That Poets have made use of in their lines,
And by which men doe know what Seasons good
To gueld their Bore-piggs, and let Horses blood;
List to my dolefull glee, ô 5 list I say,
Unto the Complaint of Penelopay.
[Page 150] She was a Lo [...]er, I, and so was hee
As loving unto her, and he to 6 she:
But mark how things were al [...]er'd in [...] mo­ment
Ulysses was a Graecian born, I so meant
To have inform'd you first; but since 't is or' [...],
It is as 7 well, as had it been before:
He being as I said, a Greek there rose
A Quarrell 'twi [...]t the Trojans and their 8 foes,
I mean the Graecians, whereof he was 9 one,
But let that pass, he was La [...]rtes Sonne.
Yet least some of the difference be ig-norant,
It was about a 1 Wench, you may hear more 2 on't
In Virgils Aeneids, and in Homer too;
How Paris lov'd her, and no more adoe
But goes and steales her from her Husband: wherefore
The Graecians took their Tooles, and fighted therefore.
[Page 151] And that you may perceive they were stout 3 Signiors,
The Combat lasted for the space of ten 4 years.
This Gallant bideing where full many a Mo­ther
Is oft bereav'd of Child, Sister of Brothe,
His Lady greatly longing for his presence
5 Writ him a Letter, whereof this the Sense.
"My pretty Duck, my Pigsnie, my Ulysses,
"Thy poor Penelope sends a 6 thousand Kisses
"As to her only Ioy, a hearty greeting;
"Wishing thy Company, but not thy meeting
"With enemies, and fiery Spirits in Armour,
"And which perchance may do thy bedy harme­or
"May take thee Pisoner, and clap on thee bolts
"And locks upon thy legges, such as weare Colts.
"But send me word, and e're that thou want r [...] ­some
"Being a man so comely, and so handsome,
"Ile sell my Smocke both from my backe and 7 belly
[Page 152] "E're you want Money, Meat, or Cloathes, I tell yee.
When that Ulysses, all in grief enveloped,
Had markt how right this Letter was Penelo­ped.
Laid one hand on his heart, and said't was guilty,
Resting the other on his Dagger-hilty,
Thus gan to speake: O thou that dost con­troule
All beauties else, thou hast so bang'd my soule
With this thy lamentation, that I sweare,
I love thee strangely, without wit or fear;
I could have wish'd (quoth he,) my selfe the Paper
Inke, Standish, Sandbox, or the burning Ta­per,
That were the Instruments of this thy write­ing
Or else the Stool whereon thou sat'st inditing:
And so might have bin neer that lovely breech
That never yet was troubled with the 8 Itch.
And with the thought of that, his Sorrow doubled
His heart with wo, was so Cuff'd and Cornub­led,
[Page 153] That he approv'd one of his Ladyes Verses,
(The which my Author in his booke rehear­ses)
'Tis true quoth he, 9 Loves troubles make me tamer,
Res est Soliciti plena timoris Amor.
This said, he blam'd himselfe, and chid his folly
For being so ore-rul'd with melancholly,
He call'd himself, Fool, Coxecombe, Asse, and Fop,
And many ascurvy name he reckon'd up,
But to himself, this language was too rough,
For certainly the Man had wit enough:
For he resolves to leave his Trojan foes,
And go to see his Love in his best Cloaths.
But marke how he was cross'd in his in­tent,
His friends suspected him incontinent:
And some of them suppos'd he was in love,
Because his eyes all in his head did move,
Or more or less then used, I know not which
But I am sure they did not move so mich
As they were wont to doe: and then 'twas blasted.
Ulysses was in love, and whilst that lasted
[Page 154] No other newes within the Camp was spoke of,
And many did suppose the Match was broke off,
But he conceal'd himself, nor was o're hasty
To shift his Cloaths, though now grown some­what nasty.
But having wash'd his hands in Pewter Ba­son,
Determines for to get a Girle or a Son,
On fair Penelope, for he look'd trimmer
Then young Leander when he learn'd his 1 Primer,
To Graece he wends apace, for all his hope
Was only now to see faire Penelope:
She kemb [...]d her head, and wash'd her face in Creame
And pinch'd her cheeks to make the 2 redde bloud stream
She don'd new cloaths, and sent the old ones packing,
And had her shoes rub'd over with Lamp 3 blacking,
Her new rebato, and a falling band,
And Rings with severall poesies on her hand.
[Page 155] A stomacher upon her breast so bare.
For Strips and Gorgets was not then the weare.
She thus adorn'd to meet her youthfull Lover
Heard by a Post-boy, he was new come over:
She then prepares a banquet very neat
4 Yet there was not a bit of Butchers meat
But Pyes, and Capons, Rabbits, Larkes, and Fruit;
Orion on a Dolphin, with his 5 Harpe,
And in the midst of all these dishes stood
A platter of Pease-porridg, wondrous good,
And next to that the god of Love was plac'd,
His Image being made out of Rye-paste,
To make that good, which the old Proverb speaks
[The one the Heart, 't other the belly breaks.]
Ulysses seeing himself a welcome Guest
Resolves to have some Fidlers at the Feast:
And 'mongst the various Consort choosing them
That in their sleeves the armes of Agamem-
Non, in the next verse, wore: Cry'd in a rage
Sing me some Song made in the Iron-Age.
[Page 156] The Iron-Age, quoth he that used to sing?
This to my mind the Black-Smith's Song doth bring
The Black-Smiths, quoth Ulisses? and there holloweth,
Whoope! is there such a Song? Let's ha't. It followeth,

The Black-Smith. As it was sung before Ulysses and Penelope at their Feast, when he returned from their Trojan Warrs, collected out of Homer, Virgill and Ovid, by some of the Modern Familie of the Fancies.

OF all the trades that ever I see,
There's none with the Blacksmith compar'd may be,
With so many severall tooles workes hee
Which Nobody can deny,
The first that ever thunderbolt made,
Was a Cyclops of the Blacksmiths trade,
As in a learned author is sayd,
Which Nobody, &c.
When Thunderingly we lay about
The fire like lightening flasheth out;
Which suddainly with water wee d'out.
Which No, &c.
The fayrest Godesse in the skyes
To marry with Vulcan did devise,
Which was a Blacksmith grave and wise
Which, &c.
Mulciber to do her all right
Did build her a Towne by day and by night,
Which afterwards he Hammersmith hight
Which, &c.
And that no Enemy might wrong her
Hee gave her Fort she need no stronger,
Then is the lane of Ironmonger,
Which, &c.
Vulcan farther did acquaint her
That a pritty estate he would appoynt her,
And leave her Seacoale-lane for ajoynture.
Which, &c
Smithfeild he did free from dirt,
And he had sure great reason for't
It stood very neare to
Turne▪ mill street
venus court
Which, &c.
But after in good time and tide,
It was to the Blacksmiths rectifyed,
And given'em by Edmond [...]rouside,
Which, &c.
At last
he made a Nett or traine,
In which the God of warre was t'ane,
Which ever since was call'd Pauls chaine
Which, &c.
The common proverb, as it is read,
That we should hit the nayle o'the head:
[Page 158] Without the Blacksmith cannot be said,
Which, &c.
There is another must not be forgot
Which falls unto the Blacksmiths lot,
That we should strike while the I'rons hott,
Which, &c.
A third lyes in the Blacksmiths way
When things are safe as old-wives say,
They have 'em under lock and key,
Which, &c.
Another proverb makes me laugh
Because the Smith can challenge but halfe;
When things are as Plaine as a Pike staffe,
Which, &c.
But't other halfe to him does belong;
And therefore, do the Smith no wrong,
When one is held to it hard, buckle and thong,
Which, &c.
Then there is a whole one proper and fit
And the Blacksmith's justice is seene in it,
When you give a man rostmeat and beat him with spitt,
Which, &c.
Another proverb does seldome fayle,
When you meet with naughty beere or ale,
You cry it is as dead as a dore nayle,
VVhich, &c.
If you stick to one when fortunes wheele
Doth make him many losses feele
We say such a friend is as true as steele.
VVhich &c.
Ther's one that's in the Blacksmith's bookes,
And from him alone for remedy lookes.
And that is he that is offo'the hookes.
Which, &c.
Ther's ner'a slutt, if filth over-smutch her
But owes to the Blacksmith for her leatcher:
For without a payre of tongs no man will touch her
Which, &c.
There is a lawe in merry England
In which the Smith has some command
When any one is burnt in the hand;
Which, &c.
Banbury ale a halfe-yard-pott,
The Devill a Tinker dares stand to't;
If once the tost be hizzing-hott.
Which, &c.
If any Taylor has the Itch,
Your Blacksmith's water, as black as pitch,
Will make his fingers goe thorow-stitch.
Which, &c.
A Sullen-woman needs no leech,
Your Blacksmiths Bellowes restores her speech
And will fetch her againe with wind in her Breech.
Which, &c.
Your snuffling Puritans do surmise,
That without the Blacksmiths mysteries,
St: Peter had never gotten his keyes,
VVhich every one can deny,
And further more there are of those
Tha [...] without the Blacksmiths help do suppose
St: Dunstan had never tane the Divel by the nose
Which Nobody can deny.
And though they are so rigid and nice
And rayle against Drabs, and Drinke, and Dice
Yet they do allowe the Blacksmith his vice
Which, &c.
Now when so many Haeresies fly about,
And every sect growes still more in doubt
The Blacksmith he is hammering it out,
Which, &c.
Though Serjeants at law grow richer far,
And with long pleading a good cause can marr
Yet your Blacksmith takes more pains at the Barr,
Which, &c.
And though he has no Commander's look
Nor can brag of those he hath slayn and took,
Yet he is as good as ever strooke.
Which, &c.
For though he does lay on many a blow
It ruines neither freind nor foe;
Would our plundering-souldiers had don so,
Which every one can deny.
Though Bankrupts lye lurking in their holes
And laugh at their Creditors, and catchpoles,
Yet your Smith can fetch em over the coales.
Wh [...]ch Nobody can deny.
Our lawes do punish severely still,
Such as countersit, deed, bond, or bill,
[Page 161] But your Smith may freely forge what he will
Which, &c.
To be a Jockey is thought a fine fear,
As to trayne up a horse, and prescribe him his meat
Yet your smith knowes best to give a heat.
Which, &c.
The Roreing-Boy who every one quayles
And swagge [...]s, & drinks, & sweares and rayles,
Could never yet make the Smith eat his nayls.
Which, &c.
Then if to know him men did desire,
They would not scorne him but ranck him higher
For what he gets is out of the fire.
Which. &c.
Though Ulysses himselfe has gon many miles
And in the warre has all the craft & the wiles,
Yet your Smith can sooner double his files.
Which, &c,
Sayst thou so, quoth Ulysses, and then he did call
For wine to drinke to the Black-Smiths all,
And he vowed it should go round as a Ball
VVhich Nobody should deny.
And cause he had such pleasure t'ane,
At this honest fidlers merry straine,
He gave him the Horse-Shoe in Drury-lane
Which Nobody can deny.
Where his posterity ever since
Are ready with wine, both Spanish & French,
For those that can bring in another Clench
Which Nobody can deny.
The song being don they drank the health, they rose
They wo'd in verse, and went to bed in prose.

A Prologue to the Mayor of Quinborough.

LOe I the Maior of Qu [...]borough Town by name,
With all my brethren saving one that's lame;
Are come as fast as fyery mil-horse gallops,
To meet thy grace, thy Queene, & her fair Trollops,
For reason of our comming do no look,
It must be don, I finde it i'th Town-book:
And yet not I my selfe, I scorne to read,
I keep a Clarck to do these jobbs at need.
And now respect a rare conceipt before Thong castle see thee,
Reach me the thing, to give the King, that other too, I prethee,
Now here they be, for Queene and hee, the guist's all steele, and leather,
But the conceit of mickle weight, and here they 're com together,
[Page 163] To shew two loves must joyne in one, our Towne presents to thee,
This gilded scabberd to the Queene, this dagger unto Thee.

A Song.

HEe that a happy life will lead,
In these times of distraction,
Let him list'n to me and I will him read
A lecture without faction.
Let him want three things whence misery springs,
They all begin with a letter.
Let him bound his desires to what nature requires,
And with reason his humor fetter.
Let not his wealth prodigious grow,
For that breeds care and dangers;
Makes him envi'd above, and hated below,
And a constant slave to strangers.
They're happiest of all whose estats are small
Though but enough to maintain 'um
They may do, they may say, having nothing to pay,
It will not quit cost to arraigne u'm.
Nor would I have him clogg'd with a wife,
For househould care and cumber,
[Page 164] Nor to one place confine a mans lise:
Cause he cannot remove his lumber.
They are happier farr that unwedded are,
And forrage on all in common,
For all stormes they may flye, & if they should dye
They undo neither child nor woman.
Nor let his braines overflow with witt,
That savours on discretion;
'Tis costly to get and hard to keep
And dangerous. in the possession.
They are happyest men that can scarce tell ten,
And beat not their braines about reason;
They may say what will serve, themselves to preserve,
And their words are neare tak'n for treason.
Of fools there is none like to the Witt
For he takes paines to show it,
When his pride and his drinke brings him into his fit;
Then straight he must be a poet
Now his jests he flings at States and at Kings
For applause of bayes and shaddowes;
Thinkes a verse serves as well, as circle or spell
Till he rhimes himselfe to the Barbadoes.
He that within his bounds will keep,
May baffle all dysasters;
To fortune and fate commands he may give
[Page 165] Which worldling [...] call their masters;
He may dance, he may laugh, he may sing, he may quaffe,
May be mad, may be sad may be jolly,
He may walk without fear, and sleep without care,
And a fig for the world and its folly.

The drunken Lover. J. D. Delight.

I Dore, I dote, but am a sott to show't,
I was a very fool to let her know't;
For now she doth so cuning grow,
She proves a freind worse then a foe:
She will not hold me fast nor let me goe,
She tells me, I cannot forsake her;
Then straight I endeavor to leave her,
But to make me stay throw's a kisse in my way,
Oh then I could tarry for ever.
Then I retire, salute, and sit down by her,
There do I five in frost, and freeze in fire,
New Nectar from her lipps I sup.
And though I do not drink all up;
Yet am I drunk with kissing of the cup:
For her lipps are two brimmers of Clarret,
Where first I begin to miscarry:
Her brests of delight, are two bottles of white,
And her eyes are two cups of Canary.
Drunk as I live, dead drunk beyond reprieve
For all my secrets dribble through a sive,
Her arme about my neck she laith,
Now all is Scripture that she saith
Which I lay hold on, with my fuddled faith,
I find a fond lover's a drunkard;
And dangerous is when he flyes out,
With hipps and with lipps, with black eyes and white thighes,
Blind Cupid sure tippled his eyes out.
She bids me, Arise, tells me I must be wise,
Like her, for she is not in love she cryes;
Then do I fret and fling and throw,
Shall I be fettered to my foe?
Then I begin to run but cannot goe
I pray thee, sweet, use me more kindly.
You had better for to hold me fast,
If you once disengage your bird from his cage,
Beleeve me hee'le leave you at last.
Lik a sot I sit that fild the towne with witt,
But now confesse I have most need of it;
I have been drunk with duck and deare,
A bove aquarter of a yeare:
Beyond the cure of sleeping or small beere,
think I can number the months to,
Iuly, August, September, October
Thus goes my account a mischeife upon't
But sure I shall goe when I am sober.
My legs are lame, my courage is quite tam'de,
My heart and all my body is inflamde;
Now by experience I can prove.
And sweare by all the powers above;
Tis better to be drunk with wine then love.
Good sack makes us merry and witty,
Our faces with jwells adorning;
And though that we grope yet, there is some hope,
That a man may be sober next morning.
Then with command she throwes me from her hand,
She bids me goe yet knowes I cannot stand;
I measure all the ground by tripps,
Was ever Sot so drunk in sipps,
Or ever man so over seene in lipps,
I pray, maddam fickle, be faithfull,
And leave off your damnable dodging,
Pray do not deceive me, either love me or leave me,
And let me go home to my lodging.
I love too much but yet my sollie's such
I cannot leave, I must love to 'ther touch.
Heres a Health unto the King, how now?
I am drunk and speak treason I vow;
Lovers and fooles say any thing you know,
I feare I have tyred your patience,
But I am sure, tis I have the wrong on't,
[Page 168] My wit is bereft me; for all that I have left me
Will but just serve to make me a song on't,
My mistris and I shall never comply,
And there is the short and the long on't.
To the Tune of The beginning of the World.

R. P. Delight.

O Mother, chave bin a batchelour,
This twelve and twanty yeare;
And I'ze have often beene a wowing,
And yet cham never the neare:
Ione Gromball chee'l ha' non s' mee,
Ize look so like a lowt;
But I vaith, cham as propper a man as zhe.
Zhee need not be zo stout.
She zaies ifize, cond daunce and zing,
As Thomas Miller con,
Or cut a cauper, as litle Iack Taylor:
O how chee'd love mee thon.
But zoft and faire, chil none of that,
I vaith cham not zo nimble;
The Tailor hath nought to trouble his thought
But his needel and his thimble,
O zon, th'art of a lawfull age,
And a jolly tidy boy,
Ide have thee try her once a gaine,
She can but say thee nay:
[Page 169] Then O Gramarcy mother,
Chill zet a good vace o' the matter,
Chill dresse up my zon as fine as a dog
And chill have a fresh bout at her.
And first chill put on my zunday parrell
That's lac't about the quarters;
With a paire of buckram slopps,
And a vlanting paire of garters.
With my sword tide vast to my zide,
And my grandvathers dug'en and dagger
And a Peacocks veather in my capp
Then oh how I'ch shall swagger.
Nay tak thee a lockrum napkin son,
To wipe thy snotty nose,
T's noe matter vor that, chill snort it out,
And vlurt it athart my cloths:
Ods, bodikins nay fy away,
I prethee son do not so:
Be mannerly son till thou canst tell,
Whether sheele ha' thee or noe,
But zirrah Mother harke a while
Whoes that that comes so near?
Tis Ione Grumball, hold thy peace,
For feare that she doe heare.
Nay on't be she, chill dresse my words
In zuch a scholards grace,
But virst of all chall take my honds,
And lay them athwart her vace.
Good morrow my honey my sugger-candy,
My litle pretty mouse,
Cha hopes thy vather and mother be well,
At home at thine own house.
I'ch am zhame vac't to show my mind,
Cham zure thou knowst my arrant:
Zum zen, Jug, that I mun a thee.
At leasure Sir I warrant.
You must (Sir Clowne) is for the King,
And not for such a mome,
You might have said, by leave faire maid.
And let your (must) alone.
Ich am noe more nor clowne thats vlat,
Cham in my zunday parrell,
I'ch came vor love and I pray so tak't,
Che hopes che will not quarrell.
O Robbin dost thou love me so well?
I vaith, abommination,
Why then you should have fram'd your words
Into a finer fashion.
Vine vashions and vine speeches too
As schollards volks con utter,
Chad wrather speak but twa words plaine
Thon haulfe a score and stutter.
Chave land, chave houss, chave twa va [...] beasts,
Thats better thon vine speeches;
T's a signe that Fortune favours fooles
She lets them have such riches.
[Page 171] Hark how she comes upon mee now,
I'd wish it be a good zine,
He that will steale any wit from thee
Had need to rise betime.

An Old Song.

BAck and sides go bare go bare,
And feet and hands go cold,
But let my belly have Ale enough
Whether it be new or old,
Whether it be new or old,
Boyes, whether it be new or old:
But let my belly have ale enough,
Whether it be new or old,
A beggar's a thing as good as a King,
If you aske me the reason why
For a King cannot swagger
And drink like a beggar
No King so happy as I:
Some call me knave and rascall slave,
But I know, how to collogue
Come upon Um, and upon 'um;
Will your worships and honour um,
Then I am an honest rogue, then I
Come upon um, and upon 'um will you wor­ships:
[Page 172] If a sart fiye away where he makes his stay,
Can any man think or suppose?
For a fart cannot tell, when its out where to dwell,
Unlesse it be in your nose, unlesse it be in your nose boyes, Unlesse it be in your nose.
For a fart cannot tell, when its out where to dwell
Unlesse it be in your nose.

The Sowgelder's Song, in the Beggers-Bush.

I Met with the Divell in the shape of a Ramme,
Over and over the Sow-gelder came,
I took him and haltred him fast by the horne,
And pickt out his stones as you'd pick out your cornes.
Oh quoth the Divell and with that he shrunk,
And left me a carkase of mutton that stunk.
Walking alone but a mile and a halfe,
I saw where he lay in the shape of a calfe;
I took him and gelt him e're he thought any e­vill,
And found him to be but a sucking Divell.
Bla quoth the Divell and clapt down his taile,
And that was sold after for excellent veale.
I met with the Divell in the shape of a Pigge,
I look't at the rogue, and he look't something bigge;
E're a man cold fart thrice, I had made him a hogge,
Oh quoth the Divell and then gave a Jerke
That the Jew was converted by eating of porke.
In woman's attire I met him full fine,
I took him at least for an Angell divine;
But viewing his crabb-face I fell to my trade,
And I made him forsweare ever acting a maid.
O quoth the Divell, and so ranne away,
And hid him in a Fryers gray weeds, as they say.
For halfe a yeare after it was my great chance
To meet with a gray coate that lay in a Trance,
I took him and I graspt him fast by the codds;
Betwixt his tongue and his taile I left little odds.
Oh, quoth the Divell, much harme hast thou done,
Thou art sure to be cursed of many a man.
My ram, calfe, my porke, my punk and my fryar,
I have left them unfurnish't of their best Lady ware;
And now he runs roaring from alehouse to Taverne,
[Page 162] And sweares hee'le turn tutor to the swagger­ing gallant:
But if I catch him Ile serve him no worse
For Ile lib him, and leave him not a peny in his purse.

A Song.

Three merry ladds met at the Rose
To speak the praises of the Nose,
The nose which stands in middle place
Sets out the beauty of the face;
The nose with which we have begunne,
Will serve to make our verses runne,
Invention often barren growes;
But still their's matter in the nose.
The nose is of so high a price,
That men prefer't before their eyes;
And no man counts him for his friend,
That boldly takes his nose by the end.
The nose that like Euripus flows,
The sea that did the wiseman pose.
Invention, &c.
The nose is of as many kinds,
As mariners can reckon winds,
The long, the short, the nose displayd;
The great nose which did fright the maid;
The nose through which the brother-hood
Did parley for their sisters good.
Invention, &c.
The slat, the sharp, the roman snout,
The hawkes nose Circled round about:
The crooked nose that stands awry,
The ruby nose of Scarlet dye,
The Brazen-nose without a face
That doth the learned Colledge grace;
Invention, &c.
The long nose when the teeth appeare,
Shews what's a clock if the day be clear,
The broad nose stands in buckler place,
And takes the blowes from off the face;
The nose being plaine without a ridge,
Will serve sometimes to make a bridge.
Invention, &c.
The short nose is the Lovers blisse,
Because it hinders not a kisse.
The toating nose is a monstrous thing,
That's he that did the bottle bring:
And he that brought th [...] [...]ttle hither,
Will drink; oh monstrous! out of measure.
Invention, &c.
The fiery nose, in Lanthornes stead,
Will light its Master to his bed;
And who so ere that treasure owes,
Growes poore in purse, though rich in nose.
The brazen nose that's o're the gate,
Maintaines full many a Latin-pate.
Invention, &c.
If any nose take this in snuffe,
And think it more then is enough;
We answer them, we did not fear,
Nor think such noses had been here.
But if there be, we need not care;
A nose of wax our Statutes are.
Invention now is barren growne;
The matters out, the nose is blown.

Phillada flouts me.

Oh! what a pain is love,
How shall I bear it?
Shee will inconstant prove,
I greatly feare it.
Shee so torments my mind,
That my strength faileth;
And wavers with the wind,
As a shippe that saileth.
Please her the best I [...]y,
Shee looks another way.
A lack and well a day
Phillada floutes me.
All the fair yesterday,
She did passe by me;
She look't another way,
And would not spye me.
I woo'd her for to dine,
But could not get her.
[Page 165] VVill had her to the wine,
Hee might intreat her.
With Daniel she did dance,
On me she look't a sconce.
Oh thrice unhappy chance,
Phillada floutes me.
Faire Maid, be not so coy,
Doe not disdaine me:
I am my mothers joy
Sweet entertain me.
Shee'l give me when she dyes,
All that is fitting,
Her Poultrey and her Bees
And her Geese sitting.
A paire of mattrisse bedds,
And a bagge full of shredds.
And yet for all this goods,
Phillada floutes me.
She hath a cloute of mine
Wrought with good Coventry,
Which she keeps for a signe
Of my fidelitie.
But i'faith, if she flinch,
She shall not weare it.
To Tibb my tother wench
I mean to beare it.
And yet it grieves my heart,
So soon from her to part.
[Page 166] Death strikes me with his dart,
Phillada floutes me.
Thou shallt eate Curds & Cream,
All the year lasting;
And drink the Christall stream,
Pleasant in tasting;
Wigge and whay whilst thou burst,
And ramble berry;
Pye-lid and pasty crust,
Pears, Plums, and Cherrey.
Thy raiment shalbe thin,
Made of a weavers skin,
Yet all's not worth a pinne,
Phillada floutes me.
Fair maidens, have a care,
And in time take me:
I can have those as fair,
If you forsake me.
For Doll the dairy-maide,
Laught on me lately,
And wanton VVinifrid
Favours me greatly.
One throws milk on my clothes,
T'other playes with my nose;
What wanton signes are those?
Phillada flouts me.
I cannot work and sleep
All at a season;
[Page 167] Love wounds my heart so deep,
Without all reason.
I'gin to pine a way,
With greife and sorrow,
Like to a fatted beast,
Pen'd in a meadow.
I shall be dead I fear,
With in this thousand yeare;
And all for very feare.
Phillada flouts me.

The Milk-maids.

WAlkeing betimes close by a green wood side,
Hy tranonny, nonny with hy tranonny no;
A payre of lovely milk maides there by chance I spide
With hy tranonny nonny no, with tranonny no,
One of them was faire
As fair as fair might bee;
The other she was browne,
With wanton rowling eye.
Syder to make sillibubbs,
They carryed in their pailes;
[Page 168] And suggar in their purses,
Hung dangling at their tailes.
Wa [...]-coats of flannell,
And petty-coats ofredd.
Before them milk white aporns,
And straw-hats on their heads,
Silke poynts, with silver taggs,
A bout their wrists were shown;
And jett-Rings, with poesies
Yours more then his owne.
And to requite their lovers poynts and rings,
They gave their lovers bracelets,
And many pretty things.
And there they did get gownes
All on the grasse so green,
But the taylor was not skilfull,
For the stitches they were seen.
Thus having spent the long summers day,
They took their nut browne milk pailes,
And so they came away.
Well fare you merry milk maids
That dable in the dew
For you have kisses plenty,
When Ladyes have but few.

The old Ballet of shepheard Tom.

AS I late wandred over a Plaine,
Upon a hill piping I spide a shephards swaine:
His slops were of green, his coat was of gray,
And on his head a wreath of willow & of bay.
He sigh'd and he pip't,
His eyes he often wip't,
He curst and ban'd the boy,
That first brought his annoy:
Who with the fire of desire, so inflam'd his minde,
To doate upon a lasse; so various & unkinde.
Then howling, he threw his whistle a way,
And beat his heeles agen the ground whereon he lay.
He swore & he star'dhe was quite bereft of hope,
And out of his scrip he pulled a rope:
Quoth he, the man that wooes,
With me prepare his noose;
For rather then I'le fry,
By hemp Ile choose to dy.
Then up he rose, & he goes streight unto a tree,
Where he thus complaines of his lasses cruelty,
A pox upon the divell, that ever twas my lot,
To set my love upon so wooddish a trot.
[Page 170] Had not I been better took Ione of the mill,
Kate of the creame house, or bony bouncing Nell:
A Proud word I speak
I had them at my beck;
And they on holydayes
Would give me prick and praise.
But Phillis she was to me dearer then my eyes,
For whom I now indure these plaguy miseryes.
Oft have I woo'd her with many a teare,
With ribband for her head tire, and laces from the fayre,
With bone-lace and with shoone, with bracelets and with pinns,
And many a toy besides: good god forgive my sinns.
And yet this plaguy flirt
Would ding them in the dirte
And smile to see mee tear,
The locks from of my haire.
To scratch my chops, rend my slops, & at wakes to sit
Like to a sot bereft both of reason sense and witt.
Therefore from this bough Tom bids a dew
To the shepherds of the valley, and all the joviall crew.
Farewell Thump, my ram, and Cut my bobtaild curre,
Behold your Mr, proves his owne murtherer.
[Page 171] Goe to my Philis, goe,
Tell her this tale of woe.
Tell her where she may finde
Me tottering in the winde.
Say on a tree she may see her Tom rid from all care,
Where she may take him napping as Mosse took his Mare.
His Philis by chance stood close in a bush,
And as the Clowne did sprawle, she streight to him did rush.
She cut in two the rope and thus to him she said,
Dispairing Tom, my Tom, thou hast undone a maid.
Then as one amaz'd.
Upon her face he gaz'd;
And in this wofull case,
She kist his pallid face,
He whoopt amaine, swore, no swaine ever more should be,
Soe happy in his love, nor halfe so sweet as she,


DRaw not so near
Unlesse you shed a tear
On the stone,
Where I grone,
And will weepe,
Untill eternall sleepe
[Page 172] Hath charm'd my weary eyes.
Flora lyes here,
Embalm'd with many a teare,
Which the swaines,
From the plaines,
Here have paid,
And many a vestall Maid
Hath mourn'd her obsequies:
Their snowy brests they tear,
And rend their golden hayre;
Casting cryes.
To Celestiall deityes,
To returne
Her beauty from the urne,
To raigne
Unparallel on earth againe.
When strait a sound,
From the ground,
Peircing the aire,
Cryes, shee's dead,
Her soule is fled,
Unto a place more rare.
You spirits that doe keep
The dust of those that sleep,
Under the ground,
Heare the sound
Of a swaine,
That folds his armes in vain,
Unto the ashes he adores.
[Page 173] For pity doe not fright
Him wandring in the night:
Whilst he laves
Virgins graves
With his eyes,
Unto their memoryes,
Contributing sad showers.
And when my name is read,
In the number of the dead,
Some one may,
In Charity repay
My sad soul,
The tribute which she gave,
And howle
Some requiem on my grave.
Then weep noe more
Greife willnot restore
Her freed from care.
Though she be dead,
Her soule is fled
Unto a place more rare.

Of a Taylor and a Lowse.

A Lowse without leave a Taylor did molest,
The Taylor was forc'd the lowse to arrest;
[Page 174] The Taylor of curtesie the lowse did release,
But she bitt the harder and stil broke the peace.
In this doubtfull matter, your counsell I crave,
What law of the lowse the Taylor may have,
A jury of beggers debating the cause,
Decree'd in their verdict that lyce should have lawes,
And therefore they say without further reciting
That lyce must be subject to the law of bac­biting.
Which law doth provide for the party so greived
The low [...]e so offending not to be repreived.
But straight to be taken and had to the jayle,
And after to suffer the crush of the nayle.

The old Ballad of Little Musgrave and the Lady Barnard.

AS it fell one holy-day, hay downe,
As many be in the yeare,
When young men and maids
Together did goe,
Their Mattins and Masse to heare,
Little Musgrave came to the church dore,
The Preist was at private Masse
But he had more minde of the faire women;
Then he had of our lady grace
The one of them was clad in green
Another was clad in pale,
And then came in my lord Bernards wife
The fairest amonst them all;
She cast an eye on little Musgrave
As bright as the summer sun,
And then bethought this little Musgrave
This lady's heart have I woonn.
Quoth she I have loved thee little Musgrave
Full long and many a day,
So have I loved you fair Lady,
Yet never word durst I say.
I have a bower at Buckelsfordbery
Full daintyly it is geight.
If thou wilt wed thither thou little Mus­grave
Thou's lig in mine armes all night.
Quoth he, I thank yee faire lady
This kindnes thou showest to me,
But whether it be to my weal or woe
This night I will lig with thee.
With that he heard a little tyne page
By his ladyes coach as he ran,
All though I am my ladyes foot page
Yet I am lord Barnards man
My lord Barnard shall knowe of this
Whether I sink or sinn;
And ever where the bridges were broake
He laid him downe to swimme.
A sleepe or wake thou Lord Barnard,
As thou a [...]t a man of life
For little Musgrave is at Bucklesfordbery:
A bed with thy own wedded wife.
If this be true thou little tinny Page,
This thing thou tellest to mee,
Then all the land in Bucklesfordbery
I freely will give to thee.
But if it be a ly, thou little tinny Page,
This thing thou tellest to me;
On the hyest tree in Bucklesfordbery
Then hanged shalt thou be.
He called up his merry men all
Come sadle me my steed,
This nigh [...] must I to Buckellsfordbery,
For I never had greater need.
And some of them whistl'd & some of them sung,
And some these words did say;
And ever when my lord Barnards horn blew,
A way Musgrave a way.
Me-thinks I hear the Thresel-cock,
Me-thinks I hear the Jaye,
Me-thinks I hear my Lord Barnard,
And I would I were away.
Lye still, lye still, thou little Musgrave
And huggell me from the cold,
Tis nothing but a shephards boy,
A driving his sheep to the fold.
Is not thy hawke upon a perch?
Thy steed eats oats and hay;
And thou fair Lady in thine armes,
And wouldst thou bee away?
With that my lord Barnard came to the dore
And lit a stone upon
He plucked out three silver keys,
And he open'd the dores each one.
He lifted up the coverlett,
He lifted up the sheet,
How now, how now, thou littell Musgrave
Doest thou find my lady sweet?
I find her sweet, quoth little Musgrave
The more 'tis to my paine,
I would gladly give three hundred pounds
That I were on yonder plaine.
Arise arise thou littell Musgrave,
And put thy [...]loth-es on,
It shal ne [...]re be said in my country
I have killed a naked man.
I have two Swords in one scabberd,
Full deere they cost my purse:
And thou shalt have the best of them
And I will have the worse.
The first stroke that little Musgrave stroke,
He hurt Lord Barnard sore
The next stroke that Lord Barnard stroke
Little Musgrave ne're struck more.
With that bespake this faire lady,
In bed whereas she lay,
Although thou'rt dead thou little Musgrave,
Yet I for thee will pray,
And wish well to thy soule will I
So long as I have life,
So will I not for thee Barnard
Although I am thy wedded wife.
He cut her paps from off her brest,
Great pitty it was to see,
That some drops of this ladies heart's blood
Ran trickling downe her knee.
Woe worth you, woe worth, my mery men all,
You were ne're borne for my good:
Why did you not offer to stay my hand,
When you see me wax so wood.
For I have slaine the bravest Sir Knight
That ever rode on steed,
So have I done the fairest lady
That ever did womans deed.
A grave, a grave, Lord Barnard cryd
To put these lovers in:
But lay my lady on upper hand
For she came of the better kin.

The Scots arrears.

FOwre hundred thousand pounds
A lusty bag indeed▪
Was't ever knowne so vast a sum
Ere past the river Tw [...]de?
Grea [...] pitty it is, I swear,
Whole carts was thither sent,
Where hardly two in fifty knew,
What forty shillings meant:
But 'twas to some perceiv'd,
Three kingdomes were undone.
[Page 180] And those that sit heere thought it fitt,
To settle them one by one,
Now Ireland hath no haste,
So there theile not begin;
The Scottish ayde must first be pai'd,
For ye came freely in,
And William Lilly writes—
Who writes the truth you know;
In frosty weather they marched hither.
Up to the chins in snow.
Free quarter at excesse,
They do not weigh a feather,
Those Crowns for coals brought in by shoals;
Scarce kept their men together,
Of plunder they esteeme
As trifles of no worth,
Of force ye dote because recruite
Issued no faster forth.
If once this cash is paid
I hope the Scot be spedd,
He need not steale but fairly deal
Both to be cloth'd and fedd.
Our sheep and oxen may
Safe in their pastures stand,
What need they filch the cow
Thats milch to sojourne in their land.
I wonder much the Scot
With this defiles his hands,
[Page 181] Because the summ's a price of Rome
Rays'd out of the Bishops lands,
But too too wel ye know
To what intent they in came
Twas not their paines produc'd this gaines
Twas sent to packe them home,
Mee thinks I heare them laugh
To see how matters proved,
And give ashout it so fell out,
Ye were more fear'd then loved,
[...] [...]key after this
[...]nge hath forgott
[...] fires hee much retires
[...] shows himselfe no Scott.

Rebellis SCOTUS.

CUrae Deo sumus, ista si cedant Scoto?
Variat [...] spleniis [...]omina Ps [...]che [...]st suis.
Aut stell [...] yea. [...],
Campanu [...]ae omn [...]s; totus Ucalegon suo,
Coriaceae cui millies mille hydriae,
Suburbicants pensiles par [...]ciis
Non sint refrigerio. Poeticus furor,
Cometâ non min [...]s, vel ore flammeo
Commune despuente fatum stellulâ,
Dirum ominatur. Ecquis, è Stoâ, suam
Iam temperet bilem? patria quando [...]ue
Tam Pym [...]ianâ, id est pediculosâ, perit?
Bombamachidis (que) fit bolus myrmeciis?
Scotos nec ausim nominare, carminum
Nisi inter amuleta, nec meditarier
Nisi c [...]ebello, quod capillitio rubens
(Quale [...]umo coluberrimum [...]uriis caput)
Quot inde verba, tot v [...]nena promp [...]erit.
Rhadamantbe [...], fac, gutt [...]r esset nu [...]c mihi,
Sulphurque, patibul [...]mque copiosius
Ructans, Magus qu [...] c [...]nias b [...]nbycinas;
Poteram ut Agyr [...] [...]or, pill [...]as
Vomicas loqui, [...] [...] [...]yga:
Aut ut Gen [...]vae Sie [...], Pe [...]ers
Tartara, [...] equ [...]leos boare pulpitis:
At mchinan [...] p [...]r f [...]rem nunquam Scoto,
Cun [...]is Scl [...]tis hi [...] gutturalibus.
Ut dig [...] D [...]i du [...]nt, vorem par est pri [...]s,
(P [...]giator u [...]) sicas, & acinaces.
Is [...], h [...]c, I ambe, gressibus faxo tuis
At huc, [...]ambe, mo [...]sibus faxo magis.
Satyr [...]que tortri [...], tot huc adducite
Flagella, qu [...]t pr [...]sens mere [...]ur seculum
Scoti [...]enfieis pares; audax s [...]ylum
Hor [...]re tinge, sic nocent minus.
[Page 184] Vt Martyres olim induebant belluis.
(Quasi sisterent Regis sacros hypocritas)
En hos eodem Sch [...]mate (at retro) Scotos,
Extrà Scotos, intus feras, & sine tropo.
Fallax Ierna viperae nihil foves
Scoto Colono? Non ego Britanniam.
Lupis carentem dix [...]rim, vivo Scoto.
Quin Thamesinus pyrgopolinices Scotus
Poterat leones, tigrides, ursos, cane [...]
Proprii inquilinos pectoris spectaculo
Monstr [...]sse; pro obolis omnibus quibus solet
Spectare monstra Cratis, & Fori simul
Poene ocreatum vulgus. Et patria fera
Scotos eremus indicat terrae plag [...]
Vel omnipraesentem negans Deum, nisi
Venisset inde Carolus, cohors nisi
C [...]afordiana, miles & Montro [...]s,
Feritatis eluens notam pagan [...],
Hanc pr [...]sset semivictimam Deo;
Nec Scoticus est, totus L [...]pardus, Leo;
Habent & Ara [...] sicut Arcam f [...]deris
Velut tabellae bifi [...]is pictae plicis
Fert Angelos pars haec, & haec Cacodaemonas:
Cui somnianti tartarum su [...] pavor
Sic poenitere, viderat regnum velim
Nigrius Scotorum semel, & esset innocens.
Regio, malignâ quae facit votum prece,
Relegetur ad Gyares breves nunquam incola!
Pun [...]sset ubi Cainum nec exilio Deus,
Sed, ut ille trechedipnum, magis Domicaenio.
Vt gens vagans recutita, vel contagium,
Aut Beclzebub, si des ubiquitarium.
Hinc crro fit semper Scotus, cer [...]os locos,
Et hos & illos quoslihet cito nauseans,
Vt frusta divisi orbis, & Topograp [...]iae
Mend [...]citatis offulas, curt [...]s nimis.
[Page 186] Ipse universitatis haeres integrae,
Et totus in toto, natio Epidemica,
Nec gliscit ergo jargonre Gallicè,
Exoticis aut Indicis modis, neque
Iberio nutu negare, nec studet
Callere quem de Belgicis Hoghen moghen
Venter tumens, aut barba canthari refert.
(Quae Coriatis una mens nostratibus)
Pugna est in eni [...]o, atque animus in patinâ Scoto.
Huic Struthioni sugger [...]t cibum chalybs,
Et denti-ductor appetitus, baltheo,
Pro more, pendulos molares inserit.
At interim nostras quid involant dapes?
Serpens Edenum, non Edenb [...]rgum appetit.
Aut Angliae, cui jam malum est Hemorrhois,
Haematopotas h [...]s posteris meatibus
Natura medica supposuit hirudines
Cruore satiandos licèt nostro priùs,
Nostro sed & cruore moribundos quoque.
Nec computo credant priori, nos item
Novum addituros, servitutem pristinae
Aliam, gemellam nuperae, fraterculos
Palpare quando caeperant charos nimis,
(Suff [...]agiorum scilicet poppysmata)
Et crustulum impertire velut [...]ffam Cerbero
Subblandiens decreverat Senatulus.
Nos aera locu [...]s arma visc eribus priùs
Indemus usque & usque vel capulo tenus.
Seri videmus quo Scotum tractes modo.
Princeps rebelli mitior tergo quasi
Sellas equino detrahen [...] aptat suo.
At jus rapinas hasce defendit vetus?
Egyptus ista perdit, aufert Israel
An bibliorum nescis hos satellites?
Praetorianis queis cohortibus,
Hier [...]salem triariis) spes nititur novae
Sororcularum? Cardo, cardo vertitur
Cupediarum, primitivae legis, &c.
O bone Deus! quanti est carere linte is!
Orexis ut Borealis, & fames, movet!
Vi [...]uque, vestibusque cassi, hinc Knoxio
Su [...]ore simul, & Knoxio utuntur coquo,
Piè quod algeant, quod esurian [...] piè.
Larvas quin usque detrahas, & nummulis
Titulisque, (ut animabus) su [...]est fallacia.
Librae, & Barones (detumescant interim
Uocabulorum tympani) quanti valent!
Hic Cantianum paene, paene villicum,
Solidosque totos illa, sed gratis, duos.
Apagè superbae fraudulentiae, simul
Prosapiâ pictos, fide & pictos procul:
Opprobrium poetico vel stigmati
Etiam cruci crux. Non aliter Hyperbolus
Hyperscelestus ostracismo sit pudor.
Americanus, ille, qui coelum horruit
Quod Hispanorum repat eò sed pars quota!
Videra [...] in Orco si Scotos, (hui tot Scotos!)
Roterodamus pependerat medioximus.
Sat musa! semissa fercularia
Medullitùs v [...]rans, diabolis invides
Propriam sibi suam Scoti paropsidem.
Vt Berniclis enim Scoti, sic Lucifer
Saturatur ipsis Berniclatioribus.
Nam lapsus à furcâ Scotus, mox & Styge
Tinctus, suum novatur in Plaut-Anserem.

The Rebell SCOT.

HOw! Providence! and yet a Scottish crew!
Then Madam Nature wears black patches too?
What shall our Nation be in bondage thus
Unto a Land that truckles under us?
Ring the bells backward, I am all on fire,
Not all the buckets in a Country Quire
Shall quench my rage. A Poet should be fear'd,
When angry, like a Comet's flaming beard.
And where's the Stoick, can his wrath appease
To see his Countrey sick of Pym's disease?
By Scotch-invasion, to be made a prey
To such Pig-widgin Myrmidons as they?
But that there's charm in verse, I would not quo [...]
The name of Scot without an antidote;
Unlesse my head were red, that I might brew
Invention there that might be poyson too.
Were I a drowsie Judge, whose dismal note
Disgorgeth halters as a Juglers throat
Doth ribbands: could I (in Sir Emp'rick tone)
Speak Pills in phrase, and quack destruction:
Or roar like Marshall, that Genevah Bull,
Hell and damnation a Pulpit full:
Yet to expresse a Scot, to play that prize,
Not all those mouth-Granadoes can suffice.
Before a Scot can properly be curst,
I must (like Hocus) swallow daggers first.
Come, keen Iambicks, with your badgers feet,
And Badger-like, bite till your feet do meet
Help, ye tarc Satyrists, to imp my rage,
With all the Scorpions that should whip this age,
Scots are like Witches; do but whet your pen;
Scratch till the bloud come, they'l not hurt you then.
[Page 185] Now as the Martyrs were inforc'd to take
The shapes of beasts, like hypocrires at stake;
I'le bait my Scot so, yet not cheat your eyes,
A Scot, within a beast, is no disguise.
No more let Ireland brag, her harmlesse Nation
Fosters no Venom, since the Scot's plantation;
Nor can our feign'd antiquity maintain;
Since they came in, England hath Wolves again,
The Scot that kept the Tower, might have showne
(Within the grate of his own breast alone)
[...] Leopard and the Panther, and ingrost
[...]t all those wild Collegiats had cost:
[...] honest high-shooes, in their termly fees,
[...] to the salvage Lawyer, next to these.
Na [...]re her selfe doth Scotch-men beasts confesse,
Making their Countrey such a wildernesse,
A L [...]nd that brings in question and suspense
Gods omni-presence, but that Charles came thence,
But that Montrosse and Crawfords loyal band
Atton'd their sins, and christ'ned half the Land;
Nor is it all the Nation hath these spots;
There is a Church, as well as Kirk of Scots:
As in a picture, where the squinting paint
Shews fiend on this side, and on that side saint:
He that saw Hell in's melancholy dream
And in the twi-light of his fancy's theam,
Scar'd from his sins, repented in a fright,
Had he view'd Scotland, had turn'd Proselyte.
A Land, where one may pray with curst intent,
O may they never suffer banishment!
Had Cain been Scot, God would have chang'd his doom,
Not fore't him wander, but confin'd him home.
Like Jews they spread, and as infection fly,
As if the devil had Ubiquity.
Hence'tis they live at Rovers, and desie
This or that place, rags of Geography.
[Page 187] They're Citizens ot'h' world; they're all in all,
Scotland's a Nation Epidemical.
And yet they ramble not, to learn the mode
How to be drest, or how to lisp abroad;
To return knowing in the Spanish shrug.
Or which of the Dutch-States a double Jug
Resembles most, in belly, or in beard.
(The Card by which the Marriners are steer'd.)
No; the Scots-Errant sight, and sight to eat;
Their Ess [...]rich-stomacks make their swords their meat
Nature with Scots, as Tooth-drawers hath dealt,
Who use to hang their teeth upon their belt.
Yet wonder not at this their happy choice;
The Serpent's fatal still to Paradise.
Sure England hath the Hemeroids, and these
On the North-posture of the patient seize,
Like Leeches, thus they physically thirst
After our bloud, but in the cure shall burst.
Let them not think to make us run o'th score,
To purchase villenage as once before,
When an Act pass'd to stroak them on the head,
Call them good Subjects, buy them Ginger-bread.
Nor Gold, nor Acts of grace, 'tis Steel must tame
The stubborn Scot: a Prince that would reclaim
Rebels by yeilding, doth like him, (or worse)
Who sadled his own back, to shame his horse.
Was it for this you left your leaner soil,
Thus to lard Israel with Aegypts spoyl?
They are he Gospels Life-guard, but for them
(The Garrison of new I [...]rusalem)
Wha [...] would the Brethren do'the cause! the cause!
Sack possets, and the fundamental Lawes!
Lord! what a goodly thing is want of shirts!
How a Scotch-stomack, and no meat, converts!
They wanted food and rayment; so they took
Religion for their Seamstresse, and their Cook.
Unmask them well; their honours and estate
As well as conscience are sophisticate.
Shrive but their titles, and their money poize,
A Laird and twenty pounds pronounc'd with noise,
When constru'd, but for a plain Yeoman go,
And a good sober Two-pence, and well so.
Hence then, you proud Impostors, get you gone,
You Picts in Gentry and devotion;
You scandal to the stock of Verse, a race
Able to bring the Gibbet in disgrace.
Hyperbolus by suffering did traduce
The Ostracism, and sham'd it out of use,
The Indian, that heaven did [...]orsweare,
Because he heard the Spaniards were there,
Had he but known what Scots in hell had been,
He would Erasmus-like have hung between:
My Muse hath done. A Voider for the nonce;
I wrong the devil, should I pick their bones.
That dish is his; for when the Scots decease,
Hell, like their Nation, feeds on Barnacles,
A Scot, when from the Gallow-tree got loose,
Drops into S [...]yx, and turns a Soland-Goose.
The End.

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