A modest vindication of the Earl of S---------y in a letter to a friend concerning his being elected King of Poland.

A modeſt Vindication of the Earl of S 〈1 span left blank〉 y: In a Letter to a Friend concerning his being Elected King of Poland.

AT a time when the eyes of all Europe are directed towards the event of our preſent Affairs; At ſuch a time as this when the Ballance of our publick ſafety ſeems ſo equally pois'd, that it is hard to gueſs in which Scale lies our Happineſs, or Ruin: I think it my duty, as an honeſt man, a true Subject to the Government I live under, and a Friend to Truth; to give you (ſince you ſo earneſtly have requeſted it) my juſt and impartial Sentiments of our preſent condition, as it particularly relates to the Lord of S—y now under Confinement in the Tower.

This Great Man, (I cannot but call him ſo) this immediate firſt mover (as ſome would have it) of all the dreadful Revolutions that perhaps of late years have ſeem'd to threaten us, will nevertheleſs appear to you by the following Relation which I am to give you of him, a Man as very Extraordinary in his Abilities, ſo no leſs wonderful for his Vertue. Not to mention his unſhaken Obedience to every Government he has been concerned in, or lived under; his ſteady adherence to every Religion that had but hopes to be eſtabliſhed; his unwearied endeavours for the Reſtauration of the publick Peace in the time of our late unhappy Troubles; his admirable Counſils all along for the Improvement of the common Good of the Kingdom; the Honour and Safety of the Monarchy, the Succeſs of our Arms, and the Overthrow of our Enemies.

His Obedience to the Government is ſufficiently evident, inſomuch, that That never chang'd, but He did: His endeavours for publick Peace are eminently notorious; For in the late Civil War (in ſpight of all Obligations of Honour and Loyalty to the contrary,) he forſook the King, and carry'd over his Regiment to the Parliament on purpoſe (as much as in him lay) to weaken the Royal Cauſe, and by the ruin of that, to bring that War to an end, that no more Rebell Blood might be ſhed, though the great Martyrs Veins were drein'd afterwards without Mercy.

So much he then acted for publick Peace, but what he has adviſed for publick Good would fill a Volumn up: who can enough commemorate the ſhutting up of the Exchequer to put the King out of Debt? The breaking of the Triple League to prevent the growth of France, the dividing of the Fleet that we might be ſure to beat the Dutch, though in the end it coſt us a Victory; yet certainly his meaning and foreſight in it, was to preſerve the Shipping, and the tender Lives of the Subject.

Then for the Honour and Safety of the Monarchy; none ſo ſincere, ſo ſteady and ſo faithful as he has been: for the Honour of the King, witneſs his late Speech in Parliament, afterwards printed, and burnt by the Common-Hangman for the ſafety of the King; witneſs the cauſe of his preſent Impriſonment; But for the publick ſafety, what Honours he has deſpiſed, what promotions neglected, will appear in the following relation, which certainly the World will never queſtion the truth of, ſince the main of it has been taken from his own mouth, that perfect Index of his Heart, and Oracle of Truth.

In a late Paper, printed for the Vindication of this matchleſs Patriot, the Reader will find many and extraordinary Inſtances of Preferments and Honours, which this Noble Peer has wav'd and refus'd rather than ſuffer himſelf to be brib'd from the Intereſt of the common Good: But what he has meerly loſt in tender pity and compaſſion this poor Kingdom of England, and it's true Proteſtant Religion, ought to be remembred, as long as there is a Scepter ſway'd in Poland, or the Turk unconverted.

I ſuppoſe there are very few in this Kingdom that do not very ſenſibly •• member the late Inter-regnum in Poland: How many Illuſtrious Candidates ſtood fair for the Election: Sobietski indeed had done great things for that People, he had kept their Potent Enemy the Turk from entring any farther upon their Frontiers; was great and popular in the eſteem and love of the beſt Army that perhaps they ever had, but that was by much too little to Entitle him to the Succeſſion on the Throne; it appearing abſolutely the Intereſt of that Nation that the Great Turk was not only to be beaten, he muſt in ſhort too be converted, and who ſo fit for ſuch an Enterprize, as he that next ſhould be promoted to the Regal Authority? One that from the high place he was to poſſeſs, might not only Adminiſter Juſtice to them, but Salvation to the greateſt part of Aſia.

To find out ſuch a Spirit, one fit for ſo great and extraordinary an undertaking, you may imagine the wiſe Diet omitted no diligence: the Conſtitutions of all the Governments in Europe were lookt into, as they ſtood Qualifi'd both in Church and State; and whence was it ſo proper to expect a Law-giver, ſuch an Oracle as they then wanted, but from the beſt modell'd Government, and beſt Diſciplin'd Church in the World? Therefore upon ſtrict enquiry, France appearing too Deſpotick, Spain too uncertain and irregular, Holland abſolutely Antimonarchical, and few or no Cheeſe-mongers in it fit to make a Monarch of, Germany too near 'em; and that if once they ventur'd upon a King from thence, The Emperour upon every like occaſion might be impoſing one thread-bare Prince or other upon them to eaſe his own People: For you muſt note, that in Germany Princes are Quartered upon Provinces, as Regiments were in England upon Corporations in the time of Rebellion, and are indeed the great Grievance of the Countrey.

Upon theſe Conſiderations, you may imagine, Quickly the eyes of the whole Diet were caſt upon little England, and there, upon whom ſo ſoon as the little Lord of S—y? Poliſh Deputies were immediately ſent Poſt incognito, with the Imperial Crown and Scepter in a Cloak-bag to him. Old Blood ſmelt it from Biſhops-gate-street where they allighted to his Lodging; and had it not been for an old Acquaintance and ancient Friendſhip between King Anthony the Elect (for now I muſt call him ſo) and himſelf, I am credibly informed he had laid an Ambuſh for it at the Cock Alehouſe by Temple-Bar, where ſome thirty indigent Bullies were eating ſtuft Beef Helter Skelter at his charge, on purpoſe to ſtand by, and aſſiſt him in carrying off the Booty.

But Heaven (which I hope has ordained that no Crown ſhall ever ſuffer damage for King Anthony's ſake) took care to preſerve this; For the ſiniſter Deſigns of the old Iriſh Crown-monger being yet to be doubted, this prudent Prince (as I am told) having try'd and fitted it to his Head, carefully ſent it back again by a truſty Meſſenger, concealed in the hulk or ſhell of a Holland Cheeſe, taken aſunder meerly for that purpoſe, and cemented together again by an Art, fit for no man to know but a King Preſumptive of Poland.

All things thus prepared; his Election being carryed in the Dyet ſo unanimouſly and ſo nemine contradicente, that no man to this hour ever heard of it but himſelf; It is not to be imagined how this little Grigg was tranſported with the thoughts of growing into a Leviathan he fancy'd himſelf the Picture before Pobb's Commonwealth already, nay he ſtopt up his Tap (as I am told) on purpoſe that his Dropſy might ſwell him bigg enough for His Majeſty, and of a ſudden grew ſo utter an Enemy to all Republicks and Antimonarchical Conſtitutions, that from that hour he premeditated, and laid the foundation of a worſe Speech than that Famous one which he utter'd once in our Engliſh Senate, Entituled Delenda est Carthago.

But now upon deliberate and weighty conſideration of the great Charge he was to undertake, many difficulties and of an extraordinary nature ſeemed to ariſe. A Proteſtant King being Elected to a Popiſh Kingdom, great were the Debates within himſelf which way he was to ſteer his Courſe in the Adminiſtration of his Government, ſo as to diſcharge his Conſcience, as well in reſpect of the Caſe incumbent upon him of the Souls of his People, as of the protection of their Properties and Perſons.

The Great Turk, you have heard before, was to be converted: Now to bring ſo Mighty a Potentate over to the Church of Rome, ſeem'd utterly deſtructive of the Proteſtant Intereſt, which he has always been ſo violent a Champion for: Therefore it is reſolved, (Protestant, and True Proteſtant) the Ottomon Emperour muſt be, or nothing. But how (when that was done) to eſtabliſh the ſame Church in his own Dominions? there was the great Queſtion. Whereupon, after due Conſideration, he reſolved at his taking Poſſeſſion of that Throne, which ſtood gaping for him, to carry over from hence ſuch Miniſters, both of Church and State, as might be proper to adviſe, aſſiſt and ſupport him, in a Deſign ſo pious, though ſo difficult.

Immediately therefore he proceeds to the drawing a Scheme of the whole Miniſtry of his Government; and in a large Scrowl, whereon was indorſed in Text Letters this Magnificent Title; Arcana Imperii Polonienſis ſub Regno Auguſtiſſimi Principis Anthonileski Aſhleiski primi Dei Gratia iſtius Populi Regis, &c. was contained a Liſt of all the great Officers of the Crown, and of his Houſhold, which (according to the beſt light I could get into the matter) was as follows:

Seignioro Roberto Howardensko Our Chancellour. — Eskriekski, Our Treaſurer. Slabberigund Kentelaus, Tarſallan Huntingtonierkew, Jalouxion Grayoski, Whiggund Arronowitz, Privy-Councellors, and Lords of our Bed-Chamber. Loyallin Mordantaiko, Admiral of Our Fleet, at preſent under an Embargo. Braggardo Maclesſeildowski, and his two Sons, Generals of Our Army. Thomazo Armſtrongeyland, Captain of a Troop of tolerated Bandetti to raiſe Arbitrary Contributions. Seigniori Newportoski, Comptroller of Our Houſhold, and Maſter of Our Ceremonies, to ſhew his Civility on one hand, and his Juſtice on the other. Fidelio Porterewski, Firſt Groom of our Bed-Chamber, though we ſuſpect him for little better than a Spy to the Pope. Richaiski Coolaiski and his Friend Willisko Herbertensko, Secretaries of State. Tom Merrayo, Clerk of the Council. Suffolkin Feltona • ko, Griſſinceper, ſurnamed the Clown, Maſters of the Horſe and Dog-whippers by turns. Boobyan Bridgesmund, Slowchero Poſleno • itz, Conceal'd Politicians and Counſellours under the Character and Livery of Our Chair-men. Don Stephano Volponieſter, Another under the diſguiſe of a Footman, but deſigned Paymaſter of Our Army. Prince Prettyman Perkinoski, Our Adopted Heir, becauſe a little wiſer than Our own Son, and deſigned to be offered to the Dyet for Our Succeſſor; His preſent Imployment (together with the aſſiſtance of the Princeſs his Siſter) is, to cure the Plica, or King's Evil of this Country, in caſe Our own Majeſty ſhould fail of that Vertue. Slingibeski Betheliski, Chief Headsman of Warſaw. Franciſco Turnspitanski, Eſquire of Our Body, in caſe he will promiſe not to ſell his place. The Valiant Ruſſillaus, Captain of Our Guards, and Knight of the Halter, a new Order to be inſtituted at Our Coronation. Cappellanoff le Grandi, Intended Vice-Roy of the firſt Kingdom our General ſhall Conquer. Madona la bella Crofteſia, Poultneyinda la Pruda, Lady Abbeſſes for two Proteſtant Nunneries, to be eſtabliſhed for the uſe of Us and Our Miniſters. Everardo Fitz-henerisko, To write Libels againſt Us by Our own Conſent, to bring Us into favour with Our People. Jean Drydenurtzitz, Our Poet Laureat for writing Panegyricks upon Oliver Cromwel, and Libels againſt his preſent Maſter King Charles II. of England. Tom. Shadworiski, His Deputy. Sodomito Fanſhawiski, Deſigned Our Ambaſſador to the Grand Seigneur with a Preſent of Proteſtant handſom Boys in order to his Converſion.

This was the beſt account I could poſſibly get of the matter: There were indeed a great many more nominated to Offices and Preferments; but not being able to gain a perfect Catalogue of them, I have contented my my ſelf with barely a recital of ſuch things as upon my own knowledge I dare recommend to the world for Truth; and that, to the beſt of my remembrance, I have exactly obſerved in the foregoing Relation.

But in the very height of all this expectation, one night as his Majeſty Elect lay muſing in his Bed, reſtleſs with the thoughts and expectation of the approaching Empire, there appeared to him by the light of a Lamp that was burning in his Chamber, a dreadful and moſt monſtrous Viſion; the Shape and Figure of it was very Confuſed and Irregular; ſometimes it look'd like the Whore of Babylon, naked, and of immenſe nudities; Preſently, in the twinkling of an eye, the Form was changed, and it appeared like a Juſtice of Peace ſtrangled by a Crew of Ruffians, who afterwards ran him thorow the Body with his own Sword, that it might be thought he hanged himſelf; Of a ſudden it was alter'd again, and ſeemed a Troop of Pilgrims, armed with Black-Bills, that came from the Lord knows whence, landed the Lord knows where, and are gone the Lord knows whither. His Majeſty ſeeing it vary ſo often, and ſo terribly, (calling up all the Faith he had to his aſſiſtance) boldly demanded, In the Name of &c. what art Thou? Inſtantly, after a terrible Clap of Thunder, attended with ſeveral Flaſhes of Lightening, it contracted it ſelf into the ſhape of a Doctor of Salamancha, and in an hideous tone cried, I am a PIOT; Woe to England; Farwel till 78. and vaniſhed. No ſooner was it gone, but a ſtupid amazement ſeized upon the Majeſty of Poland, and caſt him into a deep ſleep, where he lay till morning; when awakening, he found himſelf ſtript of all the high and aſpiring thoughts that before had filled his mind; Pity and Compaſſion towards his Native-Countrey cooled utterly his Ambition; and from that moment he laid by all thoughts of Converting the Turk, and reſolved to ſtay at home for the Confounding the Pope.

Thus has this good Man (for now he is no more his Majeſty again) refuſed the greateſt Promotion that perhaps any Subject of England was ever raiſed to, meerly to ſtand in a Gap here, and ſtay the Plague that was coming upon us.

Sir, what Juſtification of him may be gathered from the Truth of this, and his preſent condition, I leave to your better Judgment, and ſubſcribe my ſelf.

Your humble Servant, &c.