MOCK SONGS AND Joking Poems, All Novel; Consisting of Mocks to several late Songs about the Town.

With other NEW SONGS, AND INGENIOUS POEMS Much in use at Court, and both Theaters.

Never before Printed.

By the Author of Westminster Drollery.

LONDON, Printed for William Birtch, at the Peacock in the Poultry, near Old Iury. 1675.

MOCK SONGS, AND Ioking Poems.

SONG. 1. The Resolute Gallant.
Tune is, Farewel unkind one, since you so design, &c.

IF e're I love agen, Boyes,
Nanny shall be she:
But twenty 'tis to ten, boyes,
She ne're will fancy me;
For I have been a mad Rogue,
From Twelve to Thirty-One.
To Drink, and Kiss,
And court a Miss,
Was Second unto none:
Yet now 'tis time to VVed, boyes,
VVhen Coin and Credit's gone.
Once I had a pretty Miss,
[...] Vou'd Sing, and Dance and Play,
And sit and Court, and Clip, and Kiss,
A live-long Summers day.
[Page 2]And so we did contrive,
Until her Purse did fail:
Then I began,
To play the Man,
And hoisted up my Sail;
And like an Arrant Haggard,
To her turn'd the Tail.
Now must I to Nanny go,
And let her know my mind;
Sh'as Wit, and Chink, and beauty too,
And still to me was kind:
But if she does refuse me,
Pox take her, let her go:
I'le Hunt about,
The Town throughout,
In chace of many moe;
And confident I am, boyes,
There's few can say me no.

SONG. 2. A Mock to a Lover I am, and a Lover I'le be.
And to that Tune.

A Drunkerd I am, and a Drunkerd I'le dye,
And the sight of a brimmer does cherish my eye,
Though my guts are so full, there's no room for a drop
[Page 132]Yet methinks 'tis a pleasure to bob at the Cup,
Which bobing and smelling, so settles my brain,
That without any sleeping, I fall too't again.
With Cup after Cup, I still keep in motion,
Till my brains dance Laral [...]s like ships on the Oce­an:
When my Senses are pal [...], and you think I'm slain,
The scent of a Celler revives me again:
Then hey for God Baccus, the Prince of us all,
Tis he I adore, and for evermore shall.

SONG 3. A Mock, to I pass all my hours in a shady old Grove.
And to that Tune.

I Pass all my hours with a dingy old Punk,
And she lives not a day, but she's sure to be drunk:
I survey all the parts of this over-worn Jade,
And fin [...]h [...] for thirty years has been decay'd.
O then 'twas, and now 'tis, that there's no such hell
Then with an old Beldam to dwell.
She needs must be conscious she's old: but the Trot,
Though she looks in her Glass, yet believes she is not
When I see but the print of her shape where she's lain
I scarcely from weeping mine eyes can restrain:
O then twas, and now 'tis, that there's no such hell
[Page 4]Than with an Old beldam to dwell.
When alone by our selves we both are in bed,
Then I wish I'de been hang'd, before I'de been wed,
She nearer will creep to my side.
And do all that I can she there will abide:
O then twas, and now tis, that there's no such hell
Than with an Old beldam to dwell.
But when I consider the wealth she bid bring,
And the love still to me shew'd in every thing,
I fear I have wrong'd her; yet wish with her chrams,
She still may be lockt in another mans arms.
O then boys, O then, there's no joy above
Like her absence; her obsence in love.

A Mock to, on the Bank of a Brook.
And to that Tune.

ON the side of a Hill, as I was Pissing,
(Within a Thicket, close by a Wood-side)
I over-heard a Lad and a Lass Kissing,
Which through the Wood was quickly espy'd▪
I then left of pissing, to see and to hear
What that Kissing Couple did there.
O says the Shepherd, pish, why this denying;
Come, come, your Mother did once do the same:
Those are good Natur'd Girls, that are complying:
Fye, fye, my Molly: indeed y' are to blame,
'Tis kindness that makes me love you so well,
And then we afford ye, what Robin gave Nell.
Come says she, then let's leave this place behind us,
(For Hedges have Ears, and Bushes have Eyes)
[...]nto a private nook, where none may find us,
There we some pretty sport, both will devise:
So then from all spyes we both shall be free,
But, O what a World of pleasure 'twill be.

SONG. 5. A Mock to, I will go to my Love where he lyes in the Deep. And to that Tune.

I Will go to my Love, where she lyes in the Park,
(At the Lodg cal'd St. Whetstones) before it be dark
Where we'l sleep; when awake, the kind Fidlers shall play
And the Coaches to Maribone draw us away.
My Love she ha's Money, of which she is free,
And of all the Deer in the Park, still kindest to me;
Though the rest of the Crew there, do envy our bliss,
Yet there's none of e [...]m a [...]l, that can teach us to kiss.
My Love she do's lye as well it is known,
(Which is strange in that place) in a bed of her own
I will kiss her dear Lips, while her Money do's last,
But when it is gone, to another I'le hast.

SONG. 4. A Drunken Mock, to come away my Daphne.

COme my bully-rock away,
VVe do wast this drinking day,
Tis Roger calls, what News you Sot,
Come see you Rogue what I have got,
For Bacchus still provides,
Brisk Wine, to stuff our hides;
VVere I shut up, in Cellar deep,
I'de first be Drunk, before I'de Sleep.
You Lazy Dog make haste,
The VVine will spoyl and waste:
VVith good Sack, and Clarret I
VVill for ever live and dye:
And from bung hole never stray,
Till thee and I, have [...]uckt it quite away.
VVe'l Drink and Sleep, and then we'l snore,
That Bacchus he,
[Page 7]May daily see,
The bubbing Glee,
'Twixt thee and me,
And never will give o're,
VVhilst we good VVhite or Clarret see.

SONG. 5. On a Young Gentleman Kil'd in the last Engage­ment at Sea.
Tune of, Farewell my Armida, my joy.

POor Arinda in an Arbour lay sleeping,
Drown'd in her tears, and surrounded with grief
She'd sometimes be starting and then fall a weeping,
Blaming her Fate that deny'd her Relief:
And then she began to unfold her sad Tale,
And often with sighings her Fate did bewail,
And at every sigh, she'd still cry, ay me;
My dearest doth lye Entomb'd in the Sea.
I lov'd him with passion, yet ne're let him know it,
always returning his Love with disdain,
So great was my solly, I never wou'd show it,
Which woe is me, is the cause of my pain,
He grieved at his fate, and my cruelty too,
And vow'd he would bid me for ever adieu:
'Tis I am the cause of my hopeless estate,
[Page 8]And fain would repent, but alas 'tis too late.
Then dearest Palaemon, my tears do intreat thee,
Pardon my folly, 'twas I was in fault,
And though not in life, yet in death I will meet thee,
Knowing my fate has the dearest been bought,
For thou in the bed of Honour did'st dye,
But I in the flames of Affliction must lye;
Repenting my foolish and dismal disdain,
Till death puts an end to my torturing pain.

SONG. 6. Sir Grigory Cow T— on his Mistress, Madam Dowzabell.
Tune of, To drive the Cold Winter away.

I Now will not fail,
To tell you a Tale,
Of a Mistress I had of late,
Which when you do hear,
I know you will swear,
She never yet had her mate;
Her beauty was such,
Of which but a touch
At present; the rest by and by:
by which you will find,
both before and behind,
[Page 9]How her excellent parts did lye.
And first for her hair,
Twas lovely and fair,
And deeper dye then a Carret:
So finely twas clung,
Like Dag-locks it hung;
Tis pitty that any should mar it,
So sweetly it stuck
Together, his luck
Was better then mine cou'd undo it:
For she ne're us'd a Comb,
For this ten years at home,
For fear some hurt should come to it.
So smooth was her brow,
As if that the Plough,
Of late some Furrows had made:
So deep and so fine,
And strait as a Line,
As if't had been done with a Spade:
So finely it hung
O're her eyes, along
To Sheild e'm from danger and pain;
And serv'd her instead,
Of a Pent-house indeed,
To keep e'm from Sun and Rain.
Her eyes lookt a skew
One black, to'ther blew,
[Page 10]And one stood higher then to'ther:
One small, to'ther great,
'Twas pleasant to see't.
They were so like one another,
Sure something was in't,
That when she did squint,
You'd think she look'd quite from you:
But there lyes the Jest,
When you thought upon least,
She look'd directly upon you.
Her Nose large and strong,
And stood out so long,
Just like to a Promontory:
From whence she wou'd drop,
Some Pearls from the top,
VVhen ever she came before ye:
So far did her Snout,
Alwas stand out,
Like the Gnomon on the Dial;
That when Teeth appear,
And the day be cleer,
The hours of the day we may spy all.
Yet some heretofore,
Said her Nose was not sore,
And often did put a slur on't:
But tho [...]e that do know her,
Will Swear't can't be su [...]e,
Because it is always Currant.
[Page 11]But one seeing her Nose
And Chin, did suppose,
VVhen first he look'd on her face,
That she certainly drew,
Her pedigree true,
From Old Mother Shiptons Race.
Her Lips were as white,
As Silver out-right,
And still their Colour did hold,
And thatch't they were so,
Both above and below,
With Hair to keep out the cold:
Her mouth was so wide,
From side unto side,
That a large penny-loaf would go
VVith much ease intoo't;
Being buttered to boot,
VVith the Cream that hangs thereto.
Nay, some do suppose
She descended was,
From the Sparrows by her Mother:
Because that her Mouth
To tell you the Truth,
Did reach from one Ear to to'ther:
Her Teeth had the hue
Of a delicate blew,
And each from other did stand,
A pretty way out,
[Page 12]To look well about,
For fear she should be Trappan'd.
Yet some man that knew,
She had but a few,
Did say, poor heart she was glad,
To let e'm stand out,
Like Centinels stout,
To secure the rest that she had:
Her Chin was so small,
And hooked withal,
That up it came to her Nose;
VVhich when they did meet,
Did Neighbourly treat,
A difference to compose.
And the reason was,
If you'd know the cause,
Because that her Teeth were then,
but newly faln out,
And it was no doubt
For to reconcile e'm agen:
Plump Cheeks she did hate,
C [...]use her's fell of late,
And flat as a Pancake say:
Some dimples there were,
VVhich made her to swear,
But now they are worn away.
And then for the Rose,
[Page 13]VVhich Nature bestows,
On many Cheeks in the Town,
She'l say 'tis a Paint,
And cry, O fye on't,
'Cause her's is a deep dyed brown:
So sweet was her Tongue,
When ever she sung,
No Tongue cou'd ever come near it:
Her Singing though soft,
Yet if't be too oft,
'Twill make them deaf that do hear it.
But her Singing aloud,
Of which she is proud,
You then will hear such a voice,
That the Hills though two Mile,
From thence vvill recoyl,
And Eccho still to the Noise:
Her Tongue vvas so neat,
And very compleat,
That if you had seen together,
The Tongue of a Covv
And her's: you vvou'd vovv,
That she had the lovli'st of either.
And vvhen she did speak,
Her mind for to break,
She had such a lisping vvay;
Do all that vve cou'd
We scarce understood,
[Page 15]One word of ten she did say:
One seeing her Neck,
With Furrows bedeckt,
Did ask what Corn there did lye,
He was told not a bit,
Of Barley or Wheat,
'Twas certainly all awry.
Now some men may ask,
Why her Neck so tacks
About: and the reason is this,
Although they mistook,
When they said she did look
As if she expected a kiss:
But I for her sake,
Will prov't a mistake,
What need she for that to sue te'ye,
For when they did gaze,
But one once on her face,
They thought her the Queen of beauty.
Her Skin it was Tawny,
Her Arms thick and brawny;
And I'le warrant you for a Button,
Her hands are so fair,
You'd think e'm a pair
Of good large Shoulders of Mutton:
Though her fingers be short,
Yet she has a sort
Of Nails, like the Claws o [...] a Bittern:
[Page 15]And fittest they are,
For the use they are for,
To warble it on her Cittern.
Her brests they were flat,
because they should not,
Destroy her delicate frame:
For some of her Kin,
With Child oft have been,
Which much did impaire the same:
Plump-brests she do's hate,
Her's hang down in state;
And each against other swags:
That some men have said,
They did look indeed,
Like two empty Leather-bags.
Her back bove her Rump,
Is lovely and plump,
That some have her Credit defil'd:
by being too free,
In saying that she,
Was always behind with Child;
but truly I don't
believe it: nor won't;
Perhaps they may come to wooe her,
but it ne're can sink,
In any mind to think,
That any would offer it to her.
I can't say she's grac't,
At all with a Wast,
Yet scarce one among fifty,
But straiter is lac'd,
So having no Wast,
You'l say she must needs be thrifty:
Of her Thighs she boasts,
Being like to the posts,
Of a Wind-mill [...]arge and stout;
And the wind that do's come,
From her delicate bum,
Will whisk you the Sails about.
And then for the scent,
VVhen she gives it vent,
Her Bung-hole will loudly puff,
Out a Hogo so strong,
That no Pen, nor Tongue,
Is able to praise it enough,
Indeed 'twas so sweet,
That I think it meet,
To tell you when in we were come,
Do all that we cou'd,
Twou'd adone on's heart good,
Then to be out of the Room.
You'l think it was strong
VVhen it lasted so long,
That if you in two hours space,
Had come in the Room,
[Page 17]You'd find the Perfume,
Almost as strong as it was:
Nay, she had such an Art,
In Letting a F—,
I mean for the Noise and Smell;
Which if you did hear,
In that you wou'd swear,
She all her Sex did excell.
Her Legs are as strait
As a Rams-horn: but yet
Some Men can not refrain
To say, She was born
By'r Legs, at the Horn
In the middle of Crooked-lane.
When she goes in the Town,
She will popp up and down
Her pretty head, in the Streets;
That some did not stick
To say, she had a trick▪
To bow to all that she meets.
That slander's took off,
'Cause some Men may scoff
At her, and say, she's proud;
But if it were so,
Being handsome, you know
A little pride is alow'd:
For pride in a woman,
You know is as common▪
[Page 18]As Milk to a Suckling Bab [...]e:
Then pray give it o're,
And slander no more
My Mis, that's as meek as may be.
And then for her Feet,
'Cause her Heels do meet,
Perhaps some Men may her stout:
But hark you, my Friend,
Those that Dancing intend,
Their Toes must alwaies keep out.
Come stop not your Nose.
Now I'am come to her Toes;
To say they stink 'tis unmeet;
For I do protest,
I speak't not in Jest
They stink no more then her Feet.
Her Small was so bigg.
A Man burnt his Wigg
To try which was biggest about;
Her Calf and her Small;
And h'had done all,
T'was even from the Knee to'th Foot:
One bid her on Veal,
To Feed every Meal;
Which made her VVorship to laugh:
Your reason quoth she,
VVhy, truly sayes he,
'Twill make you increase in the Cal [...]e.
Her Instep was low,
And thick, you must know;
And so was her lovely Shin:
Her Ancles were gone,
That the Devil a one,
Were on her Legs to be seen.
She ner'e gave warning
VVhen she rose i'th morning,
VVe knew't by'th smell presently;
For the Hogo's so great,
But more if she sweat,
'Tis smelt some four Stories high.
A Neighbour did say,
She'd an excellent way
To Inrich bad Land that is Spent;
So much wou'd she sweat,
As she walkt with heat,
To Lard the Lean Earth as she went:
This I never knew;
But since it is true,
VVee'l Take a Farm that is Barren.
And instead of a Cart,
VVee'l Muck it by the art
Of my dear sweet Maid Marrion.
Some think I her flout,
When I say she's about
More then a large Cow in the wast:
But hark you, d'ee hear,
[Page 20]You'd say if you see her,
My words are not much misplac'd,
For my eyes are dim,
To compare with him
Who sayes (which made me to laugh)
She was so big throughout,
One cou'd not go about
Her, at least in an hour and half.
Nay, besides all this,
(Which a happiness is)
She is in chastity zealous,
Because there's no man,
That possibly can
Of her, at all be jealous.
And last, for her Age,
I now will Ingage,
Shee'l bring ye Youth to content ye:
For her Neighbours say,
That at this very day,
She wants two years of twenty.
Now the question is,
Since she's such a Mis,
Where I should wooe her again;
For if I should doo't,
I fear I may rue it,
She may be Debaucht by some Men:
But let come what will,
I will love her still,
[Page 21]In spight of Father and Mother:
Nor will I spare cost,
For if she be lost,
I never shall get such another.
Thus the parts ye'ave heard tell,
Of my Dowzabell,
Which I have faithfully shown.
I hope in my Love,
No Rivals you'l prove,
But let me injoy my own:
For if I should seek,
From week unto week,
In City or Country round,
For one of such parts,
And excellent deserts,
I know there's no such to be found.

SONG. 7. Her [...] follows Madam Dowzabells Retor [...] to her Gallant, Sir Gregory Cowtu—.
Tune of, And tis the Knave of Clubs bears all the sway

YOung Ladies all, come lissen a while,
I'le tell ye that will make you smile;
Ha [...] you but such a Man, you'd Vaunt,
As I have now, to my Gallant,
[Page 22]For person, and great deserts,
As you will find by's excellent parts.
And since I must describe him well.
This for his body I can tell,
It looks just bike a Barrel set
Quit up an end upon two feet;
Or like a Cloakbagg with a Hat,
With two stump feet, just under that.
And then for stature he is low,
Cause tall-men are not wise you know;
For th'upper [...]oomes of houses tall,
Are furnisht sti [...]l the worst of all;
So that you see by consequence,
He must have store of witt and sence.
His Head it is o'th the largest size,
By which you must conclude he's [...]i [...]e,
For a great-head has little vvit,
And a little-head has ne're a whit;
Which mistery plain [...]y doth us tell
That he in wit doth most excell.
His Haire is of so deep a red.
It strikes the purest Scarlet dead,
And hangs as if his head were Crown'd
With Elfclocks, sweetly dangling round,
And looks as if it twisted were
By nature: for no Combe comes there.
His forehead is so very low,
You scarce can see his wrincled brow:
Some say he [...]s beetle brow'd likewise,
Because it hangs so o're his eyes,
For to defend him day by day,
From any harme may come that way.
His Eyes wou [...]d make on's own to dazle,
Cause one is gray; & to'ther Hazle;
So fine, so small, so deep, so hollow.
You'd think his head his eyes did swallow;
From which profoundity doth come
A dayly [...]eame, that sticks like gum [...];
His eyes are circled with a red,
So pure it striks Vermilion dead;
By which▪ and smalness they aves [...] it,
That he had eyes just like a Fe [...]ret:
So that [...] [...]irst they did devi [...]e
To call him [...]ly ferret eyes.
His face is round and Ovall to.
Yet like a Cross in outward show▪
For's brow and chin are picked both,
But's Cheekes are of a lusty growth
So high, so Plump, so round, so fair,
Just like a naturall Trumpetter.
Some have Noses that are high
And some have Noses quit awry,
[Page 24]And some broad noses have, that are
Bucklers to the face, in time of ware.
He thinks all noses a disgrace,
Because that his lye [...] flat to's face.
If any [...]his is the snuffling nose,
Cause when he tells his tale, he'll lose,
No snuffling art, to helpe him out;
That those which heard him were in doubt,
What Language he that time did speake,
Nay some have call'd it Heathen Greeke.
And likewise by his breath he may,
A Trumpetter▪ be call'd they say,
Because it is so wonderous strong:
And holds it out so very long.
And those which sound a Trumpet well
Must have strong breath we all can tell.
His Lipps they both are black and blew,
And never [...]air on other grew,
One askt how chance the hair was missing,
He said for fear [...]t should spoyle his kissing.
His Teeth when they appear'd in view,
Were of a comely watchet hew.
His Neck so short you can't perceive it
Which maks me w [...]ll [...]ng now to leave't,
And come unto his Armes which are,
So finely short, you'd think they were
[Page 25]Like two Bag-puddings: at which was
Hands that were like, a Beares two pawes,
And though his hands and fingers were,
So v [...]ry short: yet he had there
Such lovely Na [...]ls; for [...]ength: in lieu
Of h [...] shortness of the othe two,
Some two Inches were: yet I confess,
That some were more, and some were less.
His Back w [...]s round and wonderous high,
Much like a Globe to study by:
One which came out two splinter-bones,
Ioyn'd at top, as't were for the nonce,
So that a paire (we might 'em call)
Of Compasses, to worke withall:
Nay some when first they saw his back,
Did say it was fit to beare a pack,
And that he'd excellent porter make,
By's naturall Roul upon his back;
And others said which was much worss,
That sure a Camell was his Nurss.
Sure he was not so very a Beast,
To such another: yet i'th East,
Your Camells milk is good they say,
And drink't they do both night and day:
But howsoever one that met him▪
Did think a Camell did beget him.
His Belly was so round about,
That half a yard t'is standing out,
That when he has a mind to dine
There is no place, for bread and wine;
And meat beside (it is no fable)
And serves him for an excellent table.
And when he is pleas'd to eate,
He will have every day fresh meat;
A Joynt or two, and that's the least:
Some times to three, it is increast.
And this must be the very cheef,
And lovely'st part of all the beef;
That is about the neck you know,
Whether it be, of Oxe, or Cow;
And sometimes for a second Course,
A large beasts liver: but never the worse;
Vnless this is not to be had,
Then with worss meat he will be glad.
All which he whipps up in a trice,
For he in's diet is nothing nice;
And yet these costly dishes must,
Be thrice a day provided just:
And at the close of every meall,
He eates a peck of Appls still.
Besides three pound of Suffolk Chees,
Not all at once, but by degrees;
[Page 27]And drinks but three times at a meale,
twelve quarts in all, that's no great deale,
If more, he could not in have trol'd it,
For how cou'ds little belly hold it.
He Sings so sweet we all do know,
That if a peece of Ordinance goe
Off at that time, under your eare
Yet if you did his Singing heare,
You'd find his loud inchanting voyce,
VVou'd drown that great, and thundering noise.
No Lyon sings so sweet as he,
Nor braying Asse more pleasantly;
Nor Bellowing Bull, or Lowing Cow
Does sing so well as he we know;
Nor houling Dogg, or grunting Sow,
Sings half so sweet as he does now.
His Thighs are wonderous bigg about,
And so'r his Leggs from knee to foot,
No difference is twix leggs and thighs,
Cause both are of an even size;
From the top of's thigh unto his foot,
The least part's half a yard about.
His Feet they are so very short,
VVe may compar'em in any sort,
Vnto a horse foot; as they say
Because his toes are worne away.
[Page 28]That when he's Pleas'd to walk about,
He stumps it quit the streets throughout.
But when that you do see him dance,
You never saw the like in France,
For running bory, or corrant
You [...]l see the worth of my gallant.
He'd stump it out so rarely well,
That Banks his horss, he doth excell.
But when you see him dance a Jegg,
Never was such a nimble grigg;
More fast then Snail he trips about,
Yet ne're in time or figure out;
He that dances the best in town can't,
Foot it so smooth as my Gallant.
Some say that he's an arrent Sott,
And so by that his credit spott;
Which may be a means to spile his match:
But I that still do by him watch;
Can excuse him, and safely say,
He's never drunk above twice a day.
Last I must Sound his Valour out,
For never man was half so stout,
No Clineas ever fought so well,
When he on great Dametas sell;
Yet they two were, I dare ingage,
The greatest Champions, of that age;
[Page 29]Thus have you heard the story true,
Of my Gallant and's vertues too;
How every vertue did him grace,
And every one, in there due place;
With all's parts, inward, and outward,
And's name's cal'd Sr Grigory Cow [...]t—.

SONG. 8. The Shepheard, and the Milkmaid;
The Tune, the 4. figure Dance a [...] Mr Youngs Ball.

I'le tell you a tale of my Love and I,
How we did often a milking goe;
And when I look't merri [...]y then she wou'd cry,
And still i [...] her fits she us'd me so:
At last I plainly did tell her my mind,
And then she began to love me,
I askt her the cause of her being unkind,
She said it was only to prove me.
I then did give her a kiss or two,
Which she return'd with interest still
I thought I had now no more to do,
But that with her I might have my will.
But she being taught by her crafty Dad,
Began be to cautious, and wary.
And told me when I my will had had,
[Page 30]The divell a bitt I would marry:
So marry'd we were, and when it was o'r
I told her plain in the Parsonage Hall,
That if she had gin me my will before,
The Divell a bit I'de a marry'd at all.
She smil'd and presently told me her mind,
She had vow'd she'd never do more so,
Because she was cozen'd in being to kind)
By three or four men before so.

SONG. 9, A Shepheard to his Skepperdiss, and her answer.

MY Lovely Philles
Since it thy vvill is.
To Crovvn thy Damons head vvith Daffadi [...]ies.
See yonder Hill is,
mine, my deare Phillis,
Which shall be all thine ovvn, not Amarillis.
Chorus. For this foolish Love, has b [...]ought me so [...]ow
That I fear I shall dy if my Phillis say no.
Then be But kind to me,
And e're I'm joynd to thee,
All my flocks and my Lands shall be asign'd to thee.
My faith I'le vovv to thee,
And promiss novv to thee,
[Page 31]All that thou shalt desire, I vvill alovv to thee.
Chorus. For this foolish &c.
I know that wealth may prove,
Oft times a bane to love,
But ho [...]e it never will, thy heart from me remove.
My fleecy flocks thou knowest,
Are not the least nor most,
True love I'de rather have, then in all riches boast.
Chorus For this foolish love has brought me so low.
That I fear I shall dye if my Phillis say no.

SONG. 10. Her answer.

MY dearest Damon now,
I to thy will must bow,
And for performance on't, I here do make a vow;
I know that Hill is thine,
Which thou say'st shall be mine;
Yet tis not that which maks me now my heart resign▪
Chorus For this paltry love has so chang'd my mind.
I am certain to dye, if my Damon's unkind.
And 'fore I am joyn'd to thee,
I wi [...]l be kind to thee,
Nor shall thy flocks and Lands, now be asignd to me.
[...]now thy word will take'
[Page 32]And here a vow I make.
For to leave all men else, for my dear Damon's sake.
Chorus. For this paltry Love, &c.
No wealth shall make me prove,
False to my Damons love;
And for Testators on't, I call the powers above.
In signe of Amity,
Our flocks shall joyned be,
E're that Coniugall knot is tyed twixt thee and me.
Chorus. For this paltry love has so chang'd my mind,
I am certain to dye, if my Damon's unkind.

SONG. 11. The discontented Milk maid.

Near to a Grove I chanc't to spy.
A pritty buxome Country lass;
I hid my self i'th Grove there by;
Whil'st she sat milking on the grass.
O me (says she) with grief I swell,
Thus to be delay'd so long:
And to live a maid so long,
Vowing she'd nere lead Apes in hell.
My mother was at fifteen wedd
And did o'th Marryage [...]leasure taste:
Ere sixteen she was brought to bed;
[Page 33]And I am seventeen now, and past:
Then did she begin to sigh and groan,
That her fortune was so bad,
And no comfort to be had,
Seeing she still must lye alone.
My Mother yet did ne're repent,
That she married was so soon:
Then have not I my time misspent,
That thus have lain so long alone?
Then on her Mother rail'd, and said,
Out upon these Virgin Beds,
There's no loss in Maiden-heads,
Nor a greater curse then dye a Maid.

SONG. 12. On a House-warming Feast.

THere is a place cal'd Cannons-row,
(Which most in Westminster do know)
And in a Court within the same,
At S [...]gar House, so cal'd by name;
And 'twas upon the day thirteen
Of cold December, and between
The hours, I think of two and three,
A handsome Feast I chanc'd to see;
Which was, it seems, to entertain
Some pretty Ladies with their train:
[Page 34]There also was to attend'em then,
Some young, but sober Gentlemen;
How young and sober, that's strange you'l say,
This Age affords no such every day:
But 'tis true, I do protest, or
My Dames had ne're came out a door,
And having then so brave a crew,
For Prettynes and humour too;
'Twas pitty but the Feast should be
Answerable to the Company;
And so it was: But yet before
I do describe the Dishes o're,
I must acquaint you with the cause,
Why that same Feast at that time was;
Some cal'd a Goodding, but I don't,
That word (by any means) approve on't:
But I must give't another name,
That's House-warming; because they came
To honest You [...]rick (who was indeed)
Their Master, that they all agreed;
O [...]t oth' respect to him they bore,
For teaching them so well before,
To warm his House, as I remember
So't had need, 'twas in D [...]cember;
And warm'd it was exceeding well:
And I the Dishes now will te [...]l,
With Wine and other thing, were there
In Ridling Terms, if you will hear.
The first Dish t [...]at up was brought,
Was three fat Hen [...] (better sed then taught)
[Page 35]With lovely Bacon red as rose,
And store of Sprouts to attend those,
Which fortified'em so about,
Till that's destroyed, we got none out.
Next Dish was three Duks, with Larks store,
That in good Sauce was cover'd o're;
All which was put into a Tray,
Herre sent'em in that very day.
The next Dish then Gods Benison.
Light on him for't, it was a Venison
Pasty, large, fat, and eke good crust,
Not with a Hogo, as some must
Have, to set it of, but very sweet▪
Which was the cause, it went so fleet
Of, that we all can boldly say,
That Pye went not a begging that day:
And when it came, 'twas piping hot;
But how 'twas sent it, I've forgot,
Since I don't know, I need not pen it;
But now I think upon't, I ken it:
He's handsome, witty, and good humour too,
Faith for the rest, give'em their due.
Next was a large and goodly Pye,
Fil'd with a Goose was plump, and high;
With two Rabbets to keep him warm,
Like Gixzards stuck under each arm,
With Butter fil'd up to the brim,
That we believ'd the Goose did swim,
[Page 36]Now as well as when he was alive;
And 'cause the Rabbets could not dive,
And fearing that they then might drown,
Took 'em under's arms up and down:
For she did swim when alive I'me sure,
But to swim dead, I think that's more:
The largeness of it the Table grace't,
And crust as good as e're was taste:
This came not from a High Land we know
But from a More, that's always low
For Geese do gaggle, swim and grase,
Still in Mores, both Nights and Days.
The next Dish large was I confess,
With Tarts of all sorts numberless,
That this time of the Year did afford;
And 'twas indeed a Dish for a Lord:
They stood so fine in rank and file,
Which made a Souldier there to smile,
To see'em marshald in that manner:
Said, there wanted nothing but a Banner,
To make'em a compleat Company,
The number being full to the eye:
This Dish though [...]t did the Table grace▪
Yet it came from a [...]enny place,
The Sugar so was crusted on'em,
Just like Fe [...]s when the Frost's upon'em.
The last Dish, of which I now do treat,
Came not toth' Table with the Meat,
[Page 37](But 'twas with Dish or Tarts set up,
Until that they'd a mind to Sup,)
Was a Cake with Plums almost to the top,
Which made him blow that brought it up:
'Twas crusted so with Sugar round,
It lookt like Snow upon the ground,
That w [...]en we in our Knives did put,
We did that time an inch deep cut
In Sugar, e're we could come at
The Plums: that all which at Table sat,
At first did think't all S [...]gar throughout;
But when they tryed the second bout,
They found the Plums; which Cu [...]r [...]t were
Well washt, and cleanly done I [...]le swear;
Besides with sweet Meats was set round,
That scarce a vacant place was found:
This Cake in a Smiths shop was fo [...]g'd,
Which was so very big, it gorg'd
The Ovens mouth; they forc'd were tak't
Back again, or't had not been bak't:
For it was of so g [...]eat a Size,
They were forc'd to make it Pasty wise;
And of the bigness of this Cake,
It may be some may think I speak
Hyperboles now; far be't from me,
To speak untruths, 'tis v [...]rity:
And my good Dame gave me piece on it▪
That I three days did feed upon it.
And after they had danc'd their fill,
For Supper then they had a will;
[Page 38]Where that great Cake, and Dish of Tarts
(Which equally was cut in parts)
Did feast some twenty Souls that day,
Besides what each one car'd away.
And then there was such Sider too,
That I do now protest to you,
All the Company that were there,
Said, they scarce drank better any where;
'Twas not of Pippins, or Pearmaine,
But that which came from Maidenlane,
But red streak right; and 'twas so good
Appetite to get, and stir the blood,
An't came they say, as I do hear,
From's own Country Hereforashire;
But for his name I do protest,
I cannot tell which way's the best,
To describe it te'e: but now I hat't,
His Surname now I think was that,
That was the Conquerours Christen name,
If S be added to t [...]e same.
As well as Sider, I now must treat,
Of excellent VVine, to this good meat:
There was a Gardiner to this crew,
Though none oth' grapes in's Garden grew;
Yet he at that time with his spade,
A Vintners Cellar did invade,
VVhere he digg'd out such excellent VVine,
VVhich he with's pruning hooks did refine;
[Page 39]Of which he then sent in good store
Of Bottles, more then half a score;
VVho paid for it a lusty rate,
'Cause he'ed not hav't Sophisticate.

The Postscript.

Thus have you heard the Story now,
Of this House-warming Feast and how
'Twas then brought unto the Table,
(As well as I poor heart am able)
And when the Feast, and all was done,
The Gentlemen did every one,
VVhen the departing hour was come,
Attend the pretty Ladies home.
And for the Musick that was there,
I can no price set on't, I'le swear
It was so good; who did that night,
(Because the Moon did shine so bright)
Go out a Syranading then,
VVith all those former Gentlemen.
And when they'd done, then back they came,
VVhere every Ladies health by name
VVas drank, with great sobriety;
And each bid other then God buy.

SONG 13. The decayed Lady.
The Tune: When Aurelia first I courted: Or, To the Gavot.

VVHen first I saw my pretty Molly,
She had Youth and Beauty store:
She was Witty, Lively, Brisk, and Jolly,
None cou'd Mistris be of more,
But old Time has made a slaughter,
Of those gloryes did her grace;
And in Liev there of has brought her
Wrinkles, to supply their place.
She ith' Spring time of her glory,
Wore such Charmes within her Eyes,
That but let her stand before ye,
She wou'd every heart surprize:
But when voice and Lute united
Were, they'd answer'd so in parts.
You'd think the Sphears were all Invited
Then, to Captivate our hearts.
Had you then at Court but seen her
Walk Corrant, or Pory run,
You'd think sh'ad so much life within her,
[Page 41]As if she had not danc'd but flown:
But Old creeping Age alas! has
On her Face been too to bold,
Which she believ'd not, till her Glass has
Now confirm'd she's grown to Old.
Then my Molly I advise you,
Never think of Loving more;
For those Cullyes now despise ye,
That admir'd you heretofore:
That which erst did so ellur'em,
Now's extinct, and fled away;
Nought but Treats can now procur'em,
For to make a Minuts stay.

SONG 14. A Friends advice to the dispairing Lover.

PRethee Damon, why so pale,
Is't Love has brought thee to't?
If looking well will not prevail,
Sure, looking ill will never do't.
Then chear up Boy, take my advice,
And drink a Glass or two
Of bonny Sack; 'twill in a trice
To admirarion mend thy hue.
VVell how is't now? come th'other Cup,
It 'gins to work a pace,
By that time half a score are up,
A Scarlet dye will cloath thy face.
Thy Countenance being thus refind,
Then to thy cruel Mis,
That Ruddy hue will change her mind,
And doubtless will return a kiss.
For fainting Looks all VVomen hate,
'Tis courage they admire;
And him they'l chuse to be their mate,
That's not compos'd of Earth, but fire.
For Sack is so Divine a thing,
Then which there's nothing better;
If 'twill from her no comfort bring,
'Twill make thee quite forget her.

SONG 15. The Battle of the Verbes.

IVbeo commanded all the Verbes that they
Should meet together on a certain day:
Colligo gathers them; then Duco being made
Their Captain, them to'th fight doth lead:
Incipio doth begin the Battle; and
[Page 43]Valiant Pugno fights him hand to hand;
Clango commands the Trumpet then sound out:
But Clamo he cryes all the Field about:
Poor Timeo is affraid: and Fugio shuns
The Battle: [...]equor follows: Curro runs:
Cedo gives ground, which made bold Iuro swear,
And often cal'd for Voci [...] to hast the Rear:
Iuvo though long at last doth bring him aid,
Yet Amo's being in Love made him affraid:
He then bid Decco teach him how to wield
His Sword: Says Lego, 'twas read to him ith' Field:
And I says Auaio then did hear the same:
Troth says Accuso, then he's much too blame:
Induo was bid to put his Armour on;
And Incito to stir him up was wrought upon:
Immediately poor Iugulos throat was cut;
Says Instigo, he egg'd me on to do't.
Lateo lay hid behind a quick set hedge,
Which Video seeing, set his teeth an edge,
To make complaint: Says Haurio, you will draw
An Oaium on you self; which when Cerno saw,
He bid Lacesso not provoke too much:
'Twou'd put, says Pono, courage in a Dutch-
Man in the next Line: Liveo then was beat
Quite black and blew, by Retro's back retreat:
And Salio then over the Ditch would leap,
But Ajo said it was too broad and deep:
Dimico in skirmish got two wounds that bled,
And at his [...] poo [...] M [...]rio [...] soon lay dead:
Sepelio buried him, Fodio digg'd his Grave,
[Page 44]And honest Scribo writ his Epitaph;
Which stir'd up Excito to fight again;
That Voco c [...]l'd him valiantist of Men:
Bless me, says Beo ▪ how gallantly he fought;
And Iubilo for very Joy did shout:
Caedo who e're he meet did beat'em all;
And at the last he made poor Cado fall:
Candeo then began to look white with fear;
But Horreo dreaded nothing, as I hear:
Amplector say, I do embrace the fight;
And Aperio did open to the left and right:
Al [...]ereor 'gan to wrangle with them all,
Which made Arcesso presently go to call
Augeo; who did rather encrease, then stop
This Jarring: that it stir'd honest Cieo up,
To speak to Vulgo, that he should publish round
The Field, how that the Enemy then gave ground:
This made Fremo roar; and Furo to be mad
To follow'em: But Hortor did exhort, that they
Shou'd not do't; yet Propero did hast away:
Increpo began to blame him much indeed;
And Iurgo likewise did him soundly chide:
Then Blatero began to babble like an Ass;
That Calco kickt him, as by him he did pass▪
Then Cogo swore he'd force'em for to fight;
And Cito summon'd'em all that very night:
Lugeo did mourn, and pray'd there might be Peace;
And Cudo coin'd a lye to make 'em cease
Fighting: which made hairbrain'd Execroy curse:
Then Ejulo, and Ploro too, did wail, & said 'twou'd be worse:
[Page 45] Duro said, that he'd endure unto the end;
But Damno did condemn him for it, like a Friend:
Fingo did fein a lye, that he might be gone;
But Cens [...]o did censure him for't, and every one
Besides: Hio began to gape for breath, they say;
And Halo wanted breath that very day:
Macto began to kill without remorse;
And Paro did prepare to meet his force:
Then Paveo dreaded, that this might mischief bring;
And P [...]n [...]o, and Pendeo did weigh every thing
In the Ballance of Justice: Says Oleo, I smell
There's Traytors amongst us; Says Tu [...]eo, I swell
With gr [...]ef to think on't; and so did Thrgeo too:
Says [...]uspicio I suspect it as well as you;
And blam'd [...]itupero much, that was the cause on't;
That [...]ol [...] he was forc'd likewise to fly upon't:
N [...]go deny'd that he had any hand in it:
Says Sc [...]u [...]or, I'le search't out within this Minnit:
Trunco then did mangle all came near him:
And Trudo thrust so strong, that all did fear him:
Temno did despise all danger that might come;
And Vibro brandisht out his Sword, and lookt grum
Upon'em all: Vito to avoid this storm,
Hid [...]imself in a hollow Tree (poor Worm,)
And [...] likewise went to visit him there:
At last Vulgo publisht abroad where they were:
R [...]go and Pito, askt Pardon [...]o [...] their fault,
Because they fear'd they might be brought
To punishment: And Quatio 'gan to shake:
Vlciscor swore, that he revenge wou'd take;
[Page 46]Which made Vlulo houle for very grief,
Until that Venio did come to his relief:
Vindico did challenge any there to sight,
Which Renno did refuse at the first sight;
Propago did shrink the fight for to prolong,
And Probo being then among the throng,
Did approve of what he said: and Pateo he,
Lay open to these slanders, which made him flee:
Repo did creep from thence into a Wood,
VVhich Veto forbid, saying, 'twould do no good:
Dormio then told'em he must sleep a while;
Yes, yes, says Vmbo, lye down on that pile
Of Bavins: Says Exuo then put of too
Your Armes: 'tis best says Facio so to do:
Says Cupio then, Faith now I covet drink;
I believ't says Creao, but where's the chink
To purchase it? Says Do, I give it him:
Come then, says Pleo, fill it to the brim:
Bold Scindo then was cut into the brain;
And Fluo swore the Blood flow'd out amain:
Says Frico, rub his Temples well be sure:
And I, says Precor, will pray for his cure:
VVhich made poor Horr [...] then to dread the fight;
And Gaudio did rejoice, when out of [...]ight,
Gemo began to groan▪ being wounded sore;
Says Bibo, let him drink a little m [...]e
Oth' Cordial: but Mutio muttering by,
Frango did break his head immediately:
Foveo did cherish all this bleeding crew,
And Nutrio he nourisht some of'em too:
[Page 47] Faetio did stink for fear, when he did see,
Ferio strike down another: And Fugo he
As well as his Brother Fugio flyes: and Flo
VVith fighting long began to puff and blow:
Fleo did weep extreamly, for to see,
Flagito to beg for's life so earnestly.
I must confess that Fatior got renown,
And Fatigo was weary too, with looking on:
Fido did trust to much unto his broken blade,
VVhich made Festino hasten to his aid:
Fallo did deceive'em all, for when he found
The Bullets hiss, he fell upon the ground:
That honest Cogito did think him dead;
Experior too did try to rub his head:
Doleo griev'd that Death should thus o'retake him:
Yet Expergiscor did at last awake him:
Exerceo then did exercise his crew;
But he like Desero did forsake him too:
Festo stood too't: Advenio then comes to him,
VVhich when Obsecro saw, he then did woe him,
To invade bold Ingruo; that Scandeo he
Did climb for safety up on Oaken Tree:
Then Simulo did counterfeit a wound or two:
Singultio likewise sobbs to see him so.
Arto being dry, did wish his inside wetter;
No matter, says Ardeo, you'l burn the better.
I was betraid, says Dr [...]do, to this dismal day;
Yet Prurio's fingers itch to fight they say:
Pungo was prickt toth' heart, when upon him
Premo did press; yet Vinco overcame him.
[Page 48] Meo unto the Battle hast doth make;
But Desino doth the Field forsake:
Spiro to breath doth forbear to smite:
But crafty Evito doth escape the F [...]ght:
Miror in wonder standing much amaz'd;
And faint Aspicio on the Batt [...]e g [...]z'd:
Supero did overcome who e're he meet,
An [...] Gratulor did the valiant Hero greet:
Sp [...]ro did hope, Sperno to put to fl [...]ght;
And Redeo returned wounded from the fight:
Stringo did strein himself to overcome
Bold Puso, who quickly st [...]uck him down:
Then Tuno thunder'd in with might, and main,
To help Succurro, which was almost slain:
Ferreo waxt hot, by all these great All [...]rms;
And Fido trusts more to his feet then Arms:
Luo discharg'd a Bullet then so right,
The Powder scorcht poor Vstulo that night:
Luxo then did put his Arm quite out of Joint,
That Vngo was forc'd at last it to annoint:
Erro mistook the place, and wander'd up and down;
And Equito after him, rod from Town to Town:
Coru [...]co [...] Arms glister'd in the Fight that day;
And Mico's shin'd likewise, as some do say:
Metuo did fear to meet too, as I hear,
Yet at last with Misceo mingled in the Rear:
And Occulo did hide himself behind a Tree,
Which Monstro shew'd to all the Company:
Sad Verto turned from one side to the other;
And Muto chang'd too, as if he were his Brother:
[Page 49] Nuo did nod his head at some was there,
That Neco had almost kill'd him, when he came near:
But Mulceo did asswage his fury then;
And Parco brought forth Peace to all these Men:
And though Congruo did advise'em all agree,
And allured Lacio of his party to be:
Yet Cingo girds his Sword about him then;
And Iungo joins with other Martial Men:
Ausculto hearkens what they mean't to do;
Emo buyes Armour to defend [...]im too:
Titubo did stumble by his too much hast;
Vacillo stagger'd too, they strook so fast:
Laedo was hurt, and's Brother Nocco too,
And Tucor defends himself with much ado:
Tego was cover'd with a gallant Sheild,
Yet Verbero beat him so, he was forc't to yeil [...]:
Plango did much lament his grievous chance,
'Cause Ico smote him with his direful Lance:
Ruo did rush into that furious Fight;
Which did, they say, poor Terreo much affright:
Sarc [...]o did patch his Armour, 'twas so old,
Which D [...]mo took away, he was so bold:
Languco did languish 'cause his wounds were deep;
And Serpo from the Battle soon did creep:
Bold Voveo vow'd, that he'd have Armour none;
And Obliviscor too forgot to put his on:
Palleo lookt very pale, and wou'd a fled, but
Undaunted Teneo soundly held him to't:
Findo did cleave his Enemies scull that day;
Yet Medior made a shift to heal't, they say:
[Page 50] Formido did dread to come into the Fight;
And Culpo b [...]am'd him for't, they say, that Night:
Voco did call on Vado to go on:
Poor Labo fains; and Iaceo cast him down:
But Recupero did recover incontinent;
For Spero gave him hope, being almost spent:
As I live, says Vivo, Statuo did appoint
Me Ensigne, 'cause at first I did win't:
Noseo said, he knew't: Mentior swore he lyed:
Then Acuo whets his Sword, that hung by's side:
Peace, Peace, says Taceo: Sudo sweat for fear,
And Surgo rose, and fled into the Rear:
Singultio then began to sob, they say,
Because Provoco challeng'd him that day:
Cubo fell down; and Capio did him take
Up again, when he could scarcely speak:
Frenaeo then did gnash with's teeth so hard,
He drove away poor Pello from the Guard:
Come says, Invenio, I do clearly find,
Maneo did well to tarry still behind:
For Incen [...]o here has let us all on fire;
And I'le begin, says Inchoo, to retire:
Oro prays heartily, that it may succeed;
I'le shew you a way, says Indico with speed:
Consulo's Councel they did not despise:
Condono said, he'd pardon his Enemies:
Fascino thought he was bewitcht he swore:
But Sino said, that he had suffer'd more
Then all Impertio did Impart it to'em all:
And I command▪ says Impero, great and small:
[Page 51] Obedio vow'd that he'd the first obey;
And Moneo did admonish the same way:
Nay, says Narro, I'le report it round the Field,
Nolo, though unwilling, yet at last doth yield:
And Velo was as willing, I do protest;
Yet Malo was more willing then all the rest:
I have a mind, says Habeo, for to join
With all this crew: and Rego says, he will resign
His rule: Sto was at a stand, and gaz'd about;
And Certo striv'd to draw this Rabble rout,
To some agreement: at last Loquor's speech,
Did by degrees quite soder up the breach:
(Though Predico did preach before in vain,
And Suadco did perswade with might and main:)
And Fungor did discharge his duty right;
And he with Vnio caus'd'em all unite:
And Dico said 'twas best from War to cease:
Last Sancio he establish did a Peace:
Though Solvo paid'em for their service done:
Then Iurgo chid those from the Fight did run:
Finio the Battle ends: yet most do say,
Though Iacto bragg'd, yet Vinco won the day:
Numero numbers all who that were slain;
And Opto wisht it might ne're be so again:
Parco was very glad that he was spar'd,
And Partio did devide the spoil was shar'd:
Irascor was angry, and began to fret,
'Cause Adsum was not present when they met:
But Salto danc'd; and Ludo then did play
On's Instrument for Joy of that happy day:
[Page 52]'Tis best, says Lavo, wash our throats then cut'em;
And Tundo knockt for Liquor, which was brought'em:
Yet Turgeo, and Tumeo began to swell,
'Cause Placeo at the Peace was not pleas'd well:
Says Veto, Iove forbid that we again
Should fight: to which they all did cry, Amen.

SONG 16. A Mock, to the Song cal'd Lay by your pleading. And to that Tune.

LAy by your fighting,
Misses are inviting,
All the Millitary Boyes,
To that they most delight in:
Small power the Sword has,
And on my word has
Not so great a Privelledge
As Misses now afford us;
They'l kiss us, and clip us,
And st [...]ll in pleasure keep us;
And in little while, of all
We have, will strip us;
They still will be kind too,
and are inclin'd too,
Pay what they borrow of you,
When the Devil's blind too.
All you Citty Blades too,
Leave of your Trades too,
Misses have a better way to Trade,
Which never fades too:
Trading is decaying,
Is your constant saying,
And that your Customers are
Backwards still in paying:
Then cleave to your Misses,
That the greatest bliss is;
And what you want in Purse,
You'l have it in Diseases,
They ne're will forsake ye,
Until they break ye:
Then hey for a Voyage too,
Virginea, or Iamaica.
Off goes the Gown too,
Law now must down too;
And every Lawyer must stoop
To's Mistris Frown too:
Nay, when they'r pleading,
And Law a reading,
If his Miss a Caveat put, that
Stops all proceeding;
If her credit fail Boyes,
You must put in Bail Boyes,
And from Fee simple, you shall
Tennant be in Tail Boyes;
Then by her weary tricks,
[Page 54]Which you'l think ayry tricks,
Till at last you'l Christen her by the
name of Meritrix.

SONG 17. The praises of a Cobler.
The Tune: And 'tis the Knave of Clubs bears all the sway.

A Cobler is an excellent Surgeon,
Because his Neighbours will be urging
Him, to cure their Shoes again,
When they come into old Shoe-lane:
Which he can do with Awl his might,
And with his Last set'em upright.
Then he, no Man is Schollar greater,
Because he is a great Translator,
And Stiches also for a Friend;
But must (alas!) be by his end;
So that themselves will under ley,
Rather then Friends should tread awry.
He in no Fish does deal at all,
But only Soles (both great and small,)
Yet loves Plase, else how cou'd he sit;
Yet I ne're saw him eat a bit
[Page 55]On't: and cures Soles that are decay'd,
That they (till next time) shall not fade.
When he has a mind some Fish to take,
He of his thread a Net will make,
And Pitch it still▪ so excellently,
That no Fish can e're pass by;
So that you'l say, the draught must waxe
The greater, when he up it takes.
Me thinks Death shou'd not a Cobler kill,
Because he makes him Soles at will:
For Death has power on Bodies alone,
But the Cobler when the Sole is flown,
And sunder'd from the Upper-leather,
'Tis he (not Death) must stitch't together.
He is a Man, will never be
Worse then now you do him see;
For he is fit to be employ'd,
When places happen to be voyd:
Nay, the fittest [...]n all the Land,
Because he's still o'th mending hand.
Thus you may see, the Cobler now
A Surgeon is, an Schollar too;
And though he seldom deals in Fish,
Yet when he please can have a Dish:
For every Day he Soles doth make,
And Plase his breech doth daily take.
And that he's mending still, and can
Make Nets as well as any Man,
And pitch'em too, better then many,
That they shall waxe the best of any:
And more then Death can do, you know,
He mends the Sole, which Death can't do.

SONG. 18. Vpon the taking down of the Kings Armes in the Rumps time in the Year 1649. When instead of plucking down them, on the Gate of the Physick-garden in Ox­ford: they were such excellent Heralds, that they pluckt down the Earl of Danby's Armes, who was the Founder there.

IN sixteen hundred forty nine,
When Cavaliers were forc'd to dine
At Duke Humphreys Table still,
(But 'twas poor hearts against their will:)
A dismal time, when Rump did fart yee,
A thousand cracks 'gainst Royal party;
And when Kings Armes were plucking down,
In every Citty, and in Town:
In Oxford Citty there's a place,
Cal'd Physick garden, and little space
From Colledge Magdalen doth stand,
(Well known to many in this Land;)
From Mandlin bridge, it stands Northwest,
[Page 57]So that must be from it South-east;
This is so plain you can not miss it,
Then when yo're there you'l say this is it:
The Walls that do surround this place,
And Noble Gate, which do it grace,
And all the Land within the same,
For evermore will bear the name,
As being the particular Bount­Ty,
of that Noble Nothern Count,
Who to's Prince toth' last did stand by,
Cal'd Henricus Comes Danby:
This Gift, I say, was only his,
(For which no doubt he is in bliss)
Unto the poor University,
Made so by'th Rump, the more's the pitty:
And first of all this Rumpish crew,
That then did there appear in view,
With others that he thither brought,
For to destroy, as then they thought,
Their Princes Armes; was a Collonel,
Who indeed was a Preacher, as well
As Souldier; and so he began
Then to preach to every Man,
His Rumpish Doctrine; and so bid
Them be v [...]liant, and what they did
He would secure both great and small,
By an Ordinance from his Masters all;
An Ordinance it might be cal'd
(Which oft the Cavaliers have maul'd)
By thundring of us out of Town,
[Page 58]From Post to Piller up and down;
But name of Act, it cannot bear,
Yet 'twas the Cor'nels Act I'le swear:
And with the Cor'nel there did go,
His Lievtenant Collonel also;
And Major too, and Captains store,
And Ensigns, and Lievtenants more.
And of the County Comittee,
There were about the Number three,
With others at the Cor'nels call;
I think there was the Divel and all.
But now comes out a pleasant Tale,
(If my Memory doth not fail)
Which in Oxford is very rife,
For every Mouth, and true on my life:
On the right hand of that brave Gate,
Were Kings Armes plac'd in handsome state,
And likewise Crown, and Garter too,
As 'bout the Armes they use to do;
O'th left hand was the Founders Armes:
Bold Danvers, who with loud Allarmes,
The Irish Rebels conquer'd so
In little time, he had no soe
To wreak his valour on; whose same
Was spread abroad: that's very name
Would scatter all that Kerni [...] crew:
But Danvers cry, away they s [...]ew:
And before he came from thence,
Forc'd'em to own their Natural Prince.
[Page 59]For which important Service done,
By way of Retaliation:
King Iames with tittle then did greet him,
of Baron Danvers; which did meet him,
For he came to kiss his Hand, and's Son
Charles the First; for other Service done,
Did Earl of Danby him creat,
And Knight of the Garter; (Honours great)
Yet none for him too great was thought,
Who for his Prince so bravely fought:
So that by this, I'de have you note,
He had the Garter round his Coat,
And Coronet also; which did make,
Among our Heroes the great mistake:
Which made for what I do intend,
(And then I'le draw unto an end:)
These gallant New made Gentlemen,
With the County Comittee then,
And others of that new Dubd-crew:
When both these Coats they chanc'd to view,
Like wise Men did with one accord,
Command the Armes of this brave Lord
To be pull'd down, Instead o'th Kings:
And so they flew, as 'twere with wings,
For to pull down as then they thought,
His Majesties most Royal Coat;
Sure they were of Sences berest,
Not to know the right from the left.
That they were Schollars you can't deny,
'Cause in the University:
[Page 60]And wonder 'twas what Heraldry then,
Was 'mong our Rumpish Gentlemen.
Or were they at that time affraid,
To touch that Princely Coat; they laid
Not violent hands upon it then,
But I remember the time when
They durst attack, as well as Crown,
His sacred Person too, 'tis known:
Sure Providence did cast a mist
Fore the Cor'nels eyes, and all the rest,
They could not see that very day,
'Cause their Chief light is within they say:
If so then 'twas Prophetick, sure
That they should only then obscure
(And for a time to cloud) the Crown,
But for their lives not pull it down.
Though the Officers so little knew,
And Gentlemen of that great crew,
What did belong to Armes; 'tis strange
The Souldiers that did use to range
Themselves each day in rank and file,
(And many times their Armes recoile)
And then the chief word of Command,
Was stand to your Armes, to every band,
Which they being often used to do,
Made them let the Kings Armes stand too.
Then after this, in merriment
[Page 61]They all unto the Tavern went,
To congratulate each others Act,
And all to own that prudent fact:
There were some twenty Officers,
With Comittee-Men, Friends of theirs;
So that there were about thirty two,
Of this most Solemon like crew,
Who had at least four Pints of Sack
Amongst'em all to strengthen the back:
And though they would not wench, nor swear,
Yet you see drink hard when they came there:
Nay, that they might seem more profuse,
(Which was indeed their common use)
In half Pint pots 'twas still brought up;
But yet before they'd touch the Cup,
VVith Hat in hand would blessing crave,
Least poyson'd by a Cavalier Knave.
And as they thus sate carrowsing,
In comes a bold Fellow, using
Great reverence to that learned gang,
Saying, they were better to hang
Then keep; and having a Pint of Sack
In his hand, he like a mad Hack,
Drank the Kings health, and then threw
The Pot among that spend-thrift Crew:
Saying, Pox take you all; and then flew
Down stai [...]s, without bidding'em Adue.
Though they command Kings Armes pull down,
Yet still hung up some of their own;
[Page 62]VVhich did Prognosticate, I say,
Their Armes should first hang up, then they,
VVe were so far from putting down
Their Armes, we set'em up in Town:
Nay, they were so highly grac't,
That o're the Kings Armes they were plac't,
On every Gate, about the Citty:
Not sooner done, the more's the pitty:
The Rump their Jugglings so did handle,
They all went out like snuff of Candle:
And those who bought King, or Bishops Lands,
At the happy Change, had their hands
Eas'd of all that mighty trouble,
After they had brought the Rents to double:
So may they all be serv'd, that persists
Not in heart, and voice, true Royalists:
And also those that do repine
At this our Change: who by Divine
Hand, was then so brought about,
To scatter all that cursed rout;
VVho had deserv'd it long before,
For Cruelty, but Treason more.

SONG 19. A Mock to Joan, to the May-pole away let us run. And to that Tune.

TOm to the Tavern away let us run,
The VVine wil waste, and soon be gone:
Thus goes the Bubbing Boyes of the Town;
Nay the Trades, as well as the Gown:
Then Tom,
Prethee come,
Good VVine has no need of a Bush Boy;
I but Nick,
VVhat says Dick!
Bad VVine is not worth a rush Boy.
Did you but see the Man of the House,
How he does with every crew Carrowse;
VVhich he'd ne're do, if'twere not good,
To cherrish the heart, and stir the Blood;
Prethee haste,
Time does waste,
So will the VVine, by our long delaying;
And there
You need not fear
To be askt, till the Quarter day for paying.
Lately I was at a House in Paris,
[Page 64]Near to the Church of great St. Maryes,
VVhere by the means of a Friend of mine,
VVe there did get most excellent VVine:
But Tom,
This at home
Is far richer VVine then that Boy,
Come then Dick,
Let's be quick,
For I shall sadly long till I ha't Boy.
Their Stomachs then being whet with desire,
Away they march, being both on a [...]ire,
To taste that blessed Bub, as they cal't,
VVhich suddainly did their brains assault:
Then Tom
He came home
Reeling ripe, making Indentures;
And Dick
VVas very sick,
Yet to his Lodging reelingly ventures.

SONG 20. The praise of the Glasiers Trade.
The Tune is: My Dame Jaon has pawn'd her Kettle.

A Glasier is more excellent Surgeon,
Then any Trade about the Town,
[Page 65]Because he daily cures by purging,
All the VVindows up and down:
Some from their cracks,
And some from their hacks,
And some from the holes that causes wind;
And some from below,
And about you must know;
And some from before, and some behind.
His Neighbours say, both Friends and Foes,
He's fit to be a Constable,
Because He Quarrels doth compose,
And from that he does seldom cease:
And when they'r done,
Then every one
Unless a Foot-ball does'em meet,
(They'r perfect and sound,
And without a wound)
Or from a Quarrel in the Street.
Besides he is an Enemy
To Idleness, we all do know:
No Trades man takes more Panes then he,
Within Doors, and without, 'tis so.
But by those he takes
Abroad, he makes
His Purse the fuller every day:
Yet some that have had
Great pains, have been glad [...]
To empty their Purse, to get'em away.
He has a Servant heavy as lead,
Goes round the Quarrels every day,
He's lumpish, dull, and is ill-breed,
But very stout the Neighbours say,
He has need be stout,
Or he cou'd not do't;
Which is to every one a wonder,
That he alone,
Without any one,
Shout keep so many Quarrels assunder.
A Neighbour also said, he was
Not fit to make a Constable:
'Twas askt him why? he said, because
That he is making Quarrels still.
Yes; Why shou'd he not?
Though some have got
Death, by Quarrels day and night;
Yet 'tis not so
By him, we know,
For he does get his living by't.
You see that he's a Surgeon now,
And he all Quarrels does compose:
And by those Quarrels he does too
His living get, every one knows;
And takes more panes,
For honest gains,
Then any Trades-man whatsoe're;
And's Servant Lead,
[Page 67]Although ill-bred,
[...]s accounted stout, both far and near.

SONG 21. On the Squibs and Crackets, thrown on the Lord Major's day.

IT was upon the twenty ten
Of dull October, being then
The Lord Major's show, or else his Day,
So cal'd by'th Vulgar, as they say:
I speak not of that glorious crew,
That past us by in open view.
As first the Companies several,
Belonging to each others Hall,
All clad in black, with half red tip it,
Who on their Pettitoes did Trip-it;
Nor of those Velvet Coats so black,
With Chaines of gold hung on their back;
Nor of that Teem of Scarlet Riders,
Who of the City Wards are Guiders;
Nor of the Troops, and Horses fairnes,
Whose Masters all were clad in Harnes,
Whose Officers Coats bedecked were,
With gold embroyder'd every where;
Nor the Foot, with Bag-pipe, Fife, and Drum,
Who thither with the rest did come:
Who came to attend Our Soveraign,
[Page 68]Whom God to bless, with all His Train:
Nor of those gallant Princely Coaches,
To all I gave a Bonos nocies:
But of those Gallants treat I do,
That were Spectators of that Show:
Who there were placed in Balconies,
'Mong which were many Ancient Cronies,
And Ladies young; who all there stood,
I can't say sit, they wisht they cou'd:
For in the twinkling of an eye,
Such Squills and Crackets then did fly,
In such a horrid fiery fashion,
It forc'd them all, to change their station;
Least it should burn their Garments gay:
VVhich borrow'd was perhaps that day:
They cheefly flew like whirligigs,
On curled Hair, and Perriwigs;
Nothing escapt'em, they were so set▪
That all was Fish, that came to Net
But two prettyer then the rest,
That lodg'd were in a Traherns Nest;
On the Eldest flew with such a force,
It burnt her Hood without remorse;
And had not then a Fen been near
With water to quench it, I fear
Her lovely Hair to wrack had gone;
Do all that e're he cou'd have done;
Some at this, wou'd a lookt pale, but she
Fixt Roses in her cheeks Immediatly;
[Page 69]'Tis thought he might have sav'd her Hood,
Had he not b'in a kissing Mood,
With another that stood by him;
But let that pass, I'le not bely him:
To save it he some mischief got,
For's Perruke had like to a gone to'th pot,
And half Skirt too, or [...]me told a lye;
(Take heed of kissing Friend, when Squibs do flye:)
Nay, they did fly that time so hot,
It burnt the Youngers Petticoat,
And one spark did from th'other skip,
VVhich burnt our pretty Red-coats lip,
Also a Lord; but the Lord knows who
It was, for it burnt his Breeches too,
His Coat, and Perriwig, and Hat,
And eke his richly lac'd Cravat.
Nay, they from VVindows scarce cou'd peep,
But suddainly they forc'd were creep
Back again; or those Ladies fair,
VV [...]re sure to burn their Hoods and Hair;
No Gowns nor VVhisks did then escape,
For on Petticoats they made a rape;
Not on those that were a top alone,
But below, they were so sawcy grown:
Pretty S::: too did get her share,
For't burnt her Cuffs, and Hood, and Hair:
And modest Sh::: too, do what we cou'd,
It burnt her Petticoat, and Hood:
Had ye been ug [...]y, it ne're had meet ye:
You see what 'tis now to be pretty.
[Page 70]And honest Youncrick, to secure
A pretty Lady, did endure
A hot contest, but by his leave
It quickly burnt his half shirt Sleeve:
The Author catcht on in's hand a top,
And flung't in's face, that threw it up,
To keep't from them that were above,
But by his favour, it burnt his Glove.
Last, I advise if any go
Next Year, to see the Lord Major's show,
You must not in Balconies stand,
Or Window, that's low at any hand;
But i'th Garret, or Leads at top,
For that's too high, to fling'em up.
So taking leave in Wood-street three Tun Cloisters,
At the sign o'th Barrel, wherein we boil'd our Oysters.

SONG 22. On a Lady, and her Chamber-maid.

A Chamber Maid was got with Child,
For which her Lady did call her Whore,
And said, that she had her House defil'd,
And vow'd she wou'd turn her out a Door:
Who got the Child, says she, you Jade?
Your Husband, and please you Madam:
[Page 71]VVhy, where you VVhore, forsooth she said,
In the Truckle-bed at Hadham?
VVhy, where was I, I'le know the truth?
Come tell me, or else I'le make yee.
In the High-bed fast asleep forsooth,
And I was affraid to wake ye.
VVhy did you not cry out, you Drab,
VVhen first you saw he begun it?
Truly forsooth I was never a Blab
Of my Tongue: wou'd you a done it?
And besides forsooth you know,
That I your humour know too well,
That when y'are suddainly wak't, you'l throw
And tear, like to a Fiend of Hell;
Nay, you'l cry out with loud Allarmes,
And fling what your fingers touches,
That I had rather be in my Masters armes,
Then ever to come in your clutches.
VVhy did you not then sooner go
You arrant Quean? before 'twas known,
Truly Madam, 'tis even so,
Because that you had none a'your own:
And Indeed, Madam, the truth to tell,
I did think I well did plot it,
Imagining you wou'd use it well,
For his dear sake that got it.

SONG 23. A Dialogue between a Gentleman and his Mistris.

LYe still Aminta, for the Light
Comes from thy Star-like Eyes so bright:
'Tis not the day that breaks you see,
But my poor heart to part with thee.
Alexis I must needs be gone;
Aurora's put her Mantle on;
And Night likewise has given way,
To that which ushers in the day.
Aminta, Know it cannot be
The Dawning yet as you may see:
The Sun doe n [...]ver rise so soon:
Those Glimmering beams come from the Moon.
Come, come, Alexis, let me go,
There's danger in delay you know:
Then let us part, my dearest Mate,
Least we repent when 'tis too late.
Aminta, what have I now done,
That you from me so soon must run:
It is indeed a sad return
To me, who in your flames do [...]u [...].
[Page 73]
Leave, leave, Alexis, prethee leave,
You do your self, and me deceive:
Come follow now what I advise;
'Tis good to be, both merry and wise.
Suppose 'tis day, what if it be,
Must you therefore arise from me?
Did we lye down, because 'twas Night,
And shall we rise for fear of light?
Well, well Alexis now I find,
My kindness te'e has chang'd your mind:
I thought y'ad lov'd me heretofore,
But now you'l have me cal'd your Whore.
Why then Aminta let me dye,
If e're within my breast did lye
So base a thought to blast thy name,
But studd'd to Increase thy fame.
Then dear Alexis, let me rise,
For Phoebus beams will bring in Spyes;
Which may descry what we have done,
Seeing there's no Cure, when Credit's gone.
Come give me then a parting kiss;
And this my Dear, and this, and this,
A fifth, and so we will give o're.
Come tak't says she: but now no more.
[Page 74] The Chorus to it.
Of this young Couple now, you see
The Girl had greater wit then he:
For had they been detected then,
She knew they ne're shou'd meet agen:
VVhich to prevent then, lost an hour,
That he might many Nights come to her.
So time well lost you see, though small,
Brings Intrest great to VVomen all.

SONG 24. The Diseases about the Town.
The Tune: The Gun.

I Sing of great Diseases all,
That happen not at Spring, or Fall,
But what happens round the Year,
In every City, Town, and Shire:
They'r sicknesses of such a kind,
That few Physitians have a mind,
For to take the cure in hand;
VVhich you shall quickly understand,
If you'l promise me to Cure'em.
First here's one that doth complain,
[Page 75]Of Chymeras in the Brain;
And being one of Natures Minions,
He's possess'd with strange Opinions:
He will Dream at Night that he
A New VVorld in the Moon does see;
And his wits have laid the ground
Of the Earth still turning round:
VVill your Purge or Vomit cure him?
Here's another doth devise,
A way to measure Earth and Skyes,
And by that does grow so bold,
To talk of Mountains full of Gold;
Nay, the Inchanted Island he,
(VVhere Men lives to Eternity)
Swares can tell us, if he wou'd,
VVhere it is, both Ebb and Flood:
VVill your Purge, or Vomit cure him?
There's another Sick a bed,
VVith a Meagrim in his Head,
VVith great whimseys in his Brain,
His Assertions to maintain:
He tell you lyes, and swear they'r true,
That he has lately seen Peru,
From thence to China sail'd away,
And Ginny too▪ all in a Day:
VVill your Purge, or Vomit cure him?
Here's a Man his Chamber keeps,
[Page 76]That often talkes, and seldom sleeps,
And all forsooth because his Miss,
Did deny to giv'm a Kiss;
I'de not be in God Cupid's Coat,
Because he swears he'l cut his throat,
Unless he quickly pierce her heart,
As he did his, with his Dart:
Will your Purge, or Vomit cure him.
There's another that has run
From a great Estate: and one
As his Estate did run amain,
He has still a running brain;
He talks of running Horses yet,
And running Dogs that ne're were beat:
Nay, although it comes by fits,
'Thas made him run out of his wits:
Will your Purge, or Vomit cure him?
Here is one that much Invighs
Against the State: another says,
The Clergy they are grown to high:
And he that in that Couch doth lye,
Does say, the Law is very much
Corrupt: and th'other does not grutch
To give the Clergy all their due;
And likewise says, the Law is true:
Will your Purge, or Vomit cure him?
There's another says, the Age
[Page 77]Is much debaucht; and in rage
Rails against Wine, and Misses too:
But t'other give him his due,
All the premisses deny'd,
And told him to his face he ly'd;
So some of these, you see, must lye
As well as they, or you or I:
Will your Purge, or Vomit cure us?
I cou'd bring Diseases many,
Could I see the Cure of any;
It is a sickly time you know,
There will more Diseases grow:
Some of yours, and some of mine,
Some of his, and some of thine:
But I've said too much I fear,
I'le bring the rest another Year;
So you'l promise me, to cur'em.

SONG 25. A perswasive against Doating Love.
The Tune is: As Alexander I must Reign, and I must Reign alone.

THose dull, and Sottish Fools I hate,
That pine, and dye for Love,
And still repent when 'tis too late,
[Page 78]And then their folly prove;
Then why should I my fancy fix,
On Women that are so?
I hate those proud, and slighting tricks,
Pox take'em let'em go.
I've liv'd till thirty Years round,
And never doated yet,
Nor in these charmes was e're misled,
Or caught in Cupids Net:
And e're that I wou'd wedded be,
To her that has betray'd
Her Faith, to any other,
I'de live, and dye a Maid.
I love a Girl that's brisk, and smart
In Reparties, and true;
And likewise for her outward part,
I'de have her handsome too:
For he that weds a Fool, will find,
There's not so great a curse,
And dayly will torment his mind,
Then which there's nothing worse.

SONG 26. A Mock to Farwel my Armid [...]. And to that Tune.

FAr-well my dear Puggy, my Pullet, my [...]ow bell,
Thy Ferret eyes are as the cause of my grief:
Thy voice is far lowder then ever was Bow-bell,
And from the Clapper on't grant me relief:
Thy Brow lyes in Pleats, like a Loose-body'd gown,
That some Men have thought, my dear Pigney did
Because'tis in wrincles, & hangs o're her eyes, (frown,
Much like to a Bon-grace, to keep of the Flyes.
Thy Nose stands so far out, on which a great dent is
Just in the middle, much like to a hook,
Which turns up so finely, and then so much bent is,
As if 't were to hang on a pot for a Cook:
And 'tis of two kinds, for one keeps all in,
But th'other hangs dangling still down to her chin,
VVhich her pretty Mouth, o're-joy'd with the taste,
Sometimes laps it in, that nothing should waste.
And then thy sweet Pie-ba [...]'d teeth much do delight me,
Standing like Tuskes, on a long-snowted Pig,
So loose they are set, that they never could bite me;
Nay, some have come out, with but eating a Fig:
They never could bite me, 'tis certain you know,
[Page 80]Because they stand in and out, none in a row:
Thy Lips are so sweet, and p [...]easant I vow,
And then are for thickniss, like our brinded Cow.
They white are like tallow, that never yet Man did
Buss sweeter things, then those Lips of thine;
Nay, some Men have thought they were sugar Candy,
Thy sparkling whiteness so finely did shine:
Thy Breath is so sweet, and strong, that if Men
VVere at the last gaspe, 'twould fetch'em again:
Nay, had I my will, for ever I'de dwell
At thy pretty Mouth, for love of the smell.
The rest of her parts I dare not discover,
Thinking already too much I have spoke,
And being my self so zealous a Lover,
Should she be stollen, m'heart will be broke:
But when we are Married, I vow and protest,
I will not be jealous at all, in the least:
I think in my Conscience I need not to do't,
For those that do know her, will ne're put her to't.

SONG. 27. The [...]ver dispairing Lover.
The Tune is: Bory Versaille.

WHen first I saw my Phyllis face,
Her Star-like Eyes, so bright did shine,
[Page 81]I deem'd of no humane race,
But did believe her all Divine,
But when she sung,
I thought her Tongue
Was kept by all the Heavenly Spears,
Who met with her,
And fixed there,
And every one that her hear,
Did wish themselves all Ears.
But when I saw her Jvory hand,
To touch the Lute, I did admire,
She had upon't such command,
As if 'twere touch'd by'th Heavenly Quire;
She play'd so well,
She bore the Bell
Away from all the Ladies there;
Who 'gan to blaze
Abroad her praise,
That every one was in a maze,
Such Harmony to hear.
She then began to dance a round,
That every one, as well as I,
Did see, she scarce did touch the ground.
We thought she did not dance, but fly.
She tript about
Still in and out,
But yet kept time, and figure too;
That all did say,
[Page 82]That very day,
She carri'd the Credit clear away,
For dancing smooth, and true.
There's not a Man, of all the Crew,
But was in Love, as much as I,
Who lov'd her parts, and Person too;
If great Men love, my suit must dye,
Nought but despair,
Must be my share,
And Death will be to me a gain:
For since that I,
Must not come nigh
My Phillis, I'le lye down and dye,
To ease me of my pain.

SONG 28. A Caveat to young Ladies.
The Tune: Miss Mundays Cellabrane, made by Mr. Smith.

I Ne're will Love agen,
What e're betide me;
And from inconstant Men,
Good Angels guide me;
Then Ladies must not be
Swift in consenting,
[Page]Least they sing Lachrymae,
By late repenting.
He promis'd wondrous fair,
When first came to me;
Nor Oaths, nor Vows did spare,
When he did woe me:
His sug'red words, and smiles
So wrought upon me,
I ne're fore-saw his wiles,
Till they'd undone me.
Then Ladies, now alas!
Thus you may mind them,
As for to tr [...]st them as
Far, as you find them:
For if your selves you do
Keep at that distance,
You may, with credit too,
Make them resistance.

SONG 29. On a late Ball at Inn-holders Hall.

I Chanc'd of late, to see a Ball
Near Dow-gate ▪ at Inn-holders-Hall,
Where I saw many that danc'd well;
But one did all the rest excell,
[Page 84]In French dance, and in Cellabrane,
She'd foot it true, to every strain
O'th Musick; if fast, then she's so;
If not, then she can dance as slow:
But when she came to dance a Jig,
I ne're saw such a nimble Grig,
So lively, free, brisk, and ayry,
I thought she was Vbiquitary:
She tript so briskly up and down,
You'd think she had not danc'd, but flown:
For lofting dancing, I protest,
I think she did out do the best:
Being up, she cut ye twice or thrice,
E're she came down; then in a trice
Mount up again, and cut many more,
That I saw ne're the like before:
She at that time did do so well,
From all she bore away the Bell.
Go on, brave Girl, prethee go on,
For if thou hold'st, as thou'st begun,
And in Child-hood hast done so well,
In after times thou't all excell.
Besides I saw two little things,
That look'd, me thoughts, like Cherubs wings;
I mean for Stature, and for growth,
That if you had but seen'em both,
You'd think that they but lately fell,
From the Womb, and then came out o'th shell:
And some to Palliate that, did say,
[Page 85]They thought they suckt but th'other day:
Yet these Sucklings did that Night,
New Mottar, and Minoways so right,
To the admiration of us all,
That were Spectators at that Ball.
Why, how now Friend, is't possible,
That Norfolk Men can do so well!
Henceforth for Kings-line I shall have
A great respect, because it gave
Birth to my Friend I. Rich::: son,
Who in this Ball so well hast done.

SONG 29. A Mock to a Lover I am, and a Lover I'le be, in the praise of Tobacco: And to that Tune.

TObacco I love, and Tobacco I'le take,
And I hope good Tobacco I ne're shall forsake;
'Tis drinking, & wenching destroys still the Creature;
But this noble Fume, does dry up ill nature:
Then those that despise it, shall never be strong;
But those that admire it, will ever look young.
With Pipe after Pipe, we still keep in motion,
In Puffing: and Smoking, like Guns on the Ocean,
And when they are out, we charge'em, and then
We stop'em, and ram'em, and recharge agen,
Since we with Tobacco can keep ourselves sound,
Let Bacchus, and Venus in Leth be drown.

SONG 31. The Suddain Wedding.
The Tune is: The Gun-fleet.

I'Me in Love says Noll.
Indeed says Doll,
But prethee say with who?
I fear, says he.
Come speak, says she.
Why then, it is with you.
You jest, says Doll.
Good Faith, says Noll,
You do me wrong my Dolly.
But Men; says she,
To flattery be
To much addicted Nolly.
I vow, says Noll,
I Love thee Doll.
But pray, Sir, tell me where?
At my heart▪ says he.
At your heart, says she,
And do you Love me there?
'Tis true, says Noll.
But you, says Doll,
Do Love another better.
[Page 87]Who is't, says he?
Why [...]an, says she,
You th'other day did treat her.
Fy, fy, says Noll.
Why, why, says Doll?
VVhy Nan did come to me,
And pray'd me write,
That very Night,
To her Sweet-heart Humphrey.
VVhat then? says Doll.
VVhy? then, says Noll,
I gave her a Pint of VVine Doll.
VVhat else? says she.
VV [...]y Cakes▪ says he,
And yet no Mis of mine Doll.
But yet, says Doll,
My [...]ather, Noll,
Does say you are poor of late.
How poor? says he,
Yes, poor, says she,
And must not be my mate.
I have, says Noll.
What hast? says Doll.
Why I have House and Land Doll.
Where is't? says she.
Why, 'tis, says he.
At the lower end o'th Strand Doll.
What goods? says Doll.
All sorts, says Noll,
That in a House is common.
Indeed, says she.
And fit, says he,
For any honest Woman.
How, how, says Doll.
Good Faith, says Noll,
'Tis true, and all are my own,
And a Feather-bed,
With Curtains red
For thee, and I to lye on.
Then 'tis, says Doll,
A Match my Noll,
Let Father and Mother chide.
Is't done, says he.
'Tis done, says she,
And I will be thy Bride.
Let's kiss, says Noll.
Content, says Doll;
And there's another for ye.
When wed we? says he
To Morrow, says she;
We will no longer tarry.
Come then, says Noll,
VVe'l go my Doll,
And see the House before;
And then, says he▪
[Page 89]VVhat then? says she.
Thou't find I am not Poor.
Agreed, says Doll.
And when? says Noll.
To Morrow we are wedded,
Thy Parents shall,
(And kindred all)
Then come and see us bedded.

SONG. 32. The disdained Lover.

WHen first these eyes of mine saw my Undoer,
O how my Soul was inflam'd with desire:
But now I curse the time, that e're I knew her,
Seeing her cruelty adds to my fire.
The more I love, the more she disdains,
And daily does add new Links to my Chains;
VVhich makes me Day, and Night to cry,
VVoe is me, woe is me, for Love I dye.
I still addrest my self in humble manner,
Thinking by that, to gain some respect:
But she, most Tyger like, took more upon her,
And still return'd it with scorn and neglect;
VVhich plung'd my Soul in such deep despair,
(Too great alas! for Mortals to bear)
I'de rather soon to yeild my breath,
[Page 90]Then to continue still, this living death.
Then farwel cruel she, this curse I'le leave thee:
Mayst thou love one, but no man love thee,
And when thou doat [...]st on him may he deceive thee,
And be as cruel, as thou wast to me.
This O you powers, is all that I crave,
When my poor Body is laid in the grave;
Which, if you grant my injur [...]d dust
Must declare, that you are righteous, and just.

SONG 33. An Answer to a Song cal'd, Fairest Creature tell me true, shall my sighs never move thee? And to that Tune.

DEar Phyllis seem a little coy,
Dissemblingly denying,
Least I should burst with too much joy,
By thy too soon complying:
Thy cruelty
So great was to me,
It almost had wrought my Ruine;
Then if thou shou [...]d'st be,
In yeilding too free,
I fear it may prove my undoing.
[Page 91]Extreams, thou knowst, of Joy or grief,
Are still destractive to nature,
Then if thou yield'st too sudden relief,
Thou't prove to thy Friend a Traytor;
Then prethee Phill,
Be moderate still,
And yeild by degrees unto me;
For if't come to fast,
I surfeit with hast,
And then I am sure 'twill undo me.

SONG 34. On two Women furiously fighting at a Town in Kent [...] the one being named Bear, and the other Wolf.

IT was i'th time of holy Lent,
That I was at a Town in Kent,
Where I then in passing by,
A furious Combat did espy:
A lusty Sea Wolf 'gan to fight,
On a Bears Cub, to wreak her spight,
And on the Cub did roar and claw,
Pretending for to keep't in awe:
Which when the Dam o'th Cub did see,
Out of her Den came presently,
Toth' rescue of her little Cub:
So to't they went, where many a Drub
Was 'gin by both, with teeth and nail,
That none could say, which did prevail:
[Page 92]Their Eyes, and Hair were then so torn,
They lookt like two She-beasts forlorn:
Until a Man, which then lay near,
Unto the Place, came quickly there,
To disingage these furious Foes,
VVho painted with those many Blows,
And Scratches, each to other given,
'Cause they so long together striven,
They both were bloody o're, and o're,
And both lay wettring in their gore;
But the discreet Officer parted both,
(Though they to part were very loath)
And when that they could fight no more,
Then both their Tongues began to roar
So loud, it dampt the noise o'th Crew,
That then were the Fight to view:
And when their Tongues were likewise spent,
(They both, to give their fury vent,
Did with their Eyes the Fight renew,
And foam'd and sputter'd; and then threw
Dust in one anothers face,
That they were, both in little space
So cover'd o're: they lookt, they say,
Like two Sea-Devils, as they lay:
Nay, they to sight were then so hearty:
Says one, fight on, and the Divel part ye.
Yet at the last they forc'd were, then
To creep unto each others Den.
Some thought it strange, not so good Brother,
For Beasts will fight with one another.

SONG 35. A Song on the Dance called the Morris, danced at Mr. Youngs B [...]ll, at Brewers Hall in London, April the 13. 1674 And to the Morris Tune.

SOme pretty Country Girls there were,
VVithin an Arbour sitting:
VVho when they did the Piper hear,
They then left off their knitting:
One bid him play,
The Irish Hay;
And th'other little Norris:
At last they all,
Both great and small,
Did bid'em play the Morris.
Their dress was tight, with VVascoats white,
And well dyed Petticoats too;
And had you seen 'em on that Night,
You think 'em pretty Coats too:
Their Coiffes were new,
And crost-cloaths too:
I'le tell you more then that too,
To keep'em from
The burning Sun,
Each had a new straw Hat too.
First lively S [...]::: began the Dance,
And humour'd it compleatly:
Then pretty [...]:: D: did advance,
Who danc'd all things neatly:
Brisk [...]o:::: then,
Did follow in,
And kept her measures duly;
And pretty Cl:::
That airy spark,
Did likewise dance it truly.
Then th'other lively Cl::: went on,
And danc'd with strength and vigour:
And pretty little Tr:: h:: then,
Did keep both time and figure:
Sweet Dal::: then
Did credit win,
To see her 'twas a pleasure:
Young So::: too,
She well did do,
Who danc'd good time and measure.
Thus have you heard the Morris, and
The Lass that did b [...]gin it;
And how they march'd up hand in hand,
And sixt within a Minnit:
Then every one,
When [...]une was done,
Did make their Curchye-gravely;
Although so young,
[Page 95]Yet all the throng
Did say, they did it bravely.

SONG 36. The little Childrens figure-Dance, at the same Ball: And to that Tune.

SOme pretty young Ladies,
Got leave of their Daddyes:
In a figure dance of late,
To dance in a Ball,
At the Brewers-Hall:
Where every one had her mate,
Yet some were so small,
Most thought in the Hall,
They'd come from sucking but lately;
Yet the less kept figure,
As well as the bigger,
And all perform'd it compleatly.
And first came my Dam [...],
Sweet Ad::: by Name,
Whose dancing is ayry and true:
Pretty Vn::: d:: likewise,
She after her hies,
In time and good figure too:
Modest Wil:: c:, then,
Those two follow in,
[...] [...]
[Page 96]VVho never in Dancing did wander,
And her pretty Partner,
Sweet Ch:: d:: to hearten her,
There is none for her Age go beyond her.
VVell countenanc'd P:::
Though she learn'd but of late,
Kept time and figure that day;
Then her Partner came,
Little Io:: s:: by name,
VVho followed her every way:
Pretry Ch:: l:: too,
Did follow this Crew,
And footed it well and truly:
Brisk Pea:: c:: did
Trip after her in,
And kept her measure most duly.
Thus have you heard all,
This Dance at the Ball,
And who was Partners with other;
And how they did trip-it,
And handsomly skip it,
Until they meet one another:
VVhen the Tune was done,
But yet not too soon,
They made their Honors so neatly,
That all the great Crew,
That there took a view,
Did say, it was done compleatly.

SONG 37 A Dialogue between two Sisters.

FYe Phillis, fye, what love a Man?
I thought ye'ad had more wit.
Why Sister, You the Trade began,
I did but follow it.
No Phillis no, 'twas but in Jest,
It was not real love;
But Sister you did take no rest,
This I can truly prove.
VVell Phillis, well, suppose it so,
It was not long I'me sure.
Yes Sister, you do sadly know,
It nine Moneths did endure.
Come, Phyllis come, I did but make,
You to believe 'twas so.
But Sister, 'tis not a mistake,
Because 'tis true I know.
So Phillis, so, I see you are
Still contradicting me.
Yes, Sister, when I find you far
From truth, it still shall be.
[Page 98]Leave Phillis, leave, let's now a done;
I fein would give it o're.
No, Sister, since you have begun,
Good Faith, you shall have more.
I must be taxt for loving one,
VVhen you have lov'd a score;
And when you find they'r from you gone,
I must be chide therefore.
This only is the difference true,
Betwixt our Loves, I see:
You sue to them, not they to you,
Mine first did sue to me.
The Chorus to it.
The Proverb is made good of old,
VVhich Poets, and grave Sages told:
That Vice o're Vertue still control'd,
But Vertue still to Truth did hold;
VVhich is most true, and ever shall,
The very'st VVhore, first VVhore will call;
And that same spoke, which is the worst
In a Cart-wheele, will crack the first.

SONG 38. The West Country-mans song.
The Tune is: I'le no more to Malton go. nor I'le no more to Rippon.

ICh a no more to Bristow Town,
Nor Ich a no more to London,
Where many gay Voke gea up and down,
And many poor Vokes are undone;
Bu [...] Ich a gea heam to my Country Varme,
And there che chall bush my Maudlin.
And when che come there, chil gi me a Pear,
And Ich a give her a Codlin.
Chill a brew me still good nappy Ale,
The best in all the Sheere a,
And every Vortnight never fail,
To brew me good humming Beer a:
And when Ich a vrom Plow do come,
Chil ready have Ale, and a Tost too;
And then chil a bid me welcome home,
And gi me both Boil'd and Rost too.
When Ich have a mind to Bacon and Souse,
Cheele kill the Hogge on a sudden,
And then chall I have still in the House.
[Page 100]Good Bacon, and Souse, and Pudding:
Then Ich a send up to London Town,
Where Ich ave a loving Cozen,
Some Bacon and Souse, to keep the House,
And Puddings send by the dozen.
Ich a zend up to Sisly too,
Myne Hostess Maid at the Anchor,
Who was so kind, chil give her her due,
And Ich a for ever thank her,
Che'd gi me a Pot of Ale, ere while,
And many a Loving Buss too;
When Ich a from Maudlin was many a mile,
Ichad no other Friend to trust too.
Cham sorry to part from Sisly now,
For Ich a chall never forget her,
Che's constant, kind, loving, and true,
Nor Ich a chall ne're have a better;
And when Ich a go to take my leave,
Chill give her a Pint of Canary;
And when Ich come home, chill send for her down.
And Sisly shall look to my dairy.
My Maudlin twice a week does go
To Market, to Taunton Dean a.
Then we must look to the House I tro,
And then you know what I mean a:
But when Ich a hear my Maudlin come,
Then Ich a must look demurely▪
[Page 101]And Sisly she, as cunning must be,
That zo we may live securely,

SONG 39. The Platonique Lover.

I Smaena I do not admire
Thy Star-like eyes, that are so bright;
Though others may,
Nor do I from their Beams take fire,
I'me guided by another Light,
More bright then they;
No, 'tis a vertue more Divine,
That makes me offer to thy shrine,
To that my vowes I pay.
Your stately presence, wit acute,
Inviting mean, and charming voice;
Though rare they be,
Or excellent touch upon the Lute,
Of which you have the greatest choice;
These take not me,
'Tis to thy beauteous Soul I bow,
To that alone, I've made a vow,
And cal'd my Deity,
Some outward Objects may admire,
And fondly rest themselves apaid,
[Page 102]With those alone,
Those never yet fed my desire,
Because I know they often fade,
As soon as blown;
Unto thy vertuous Soul I bend,
VVhich will continue to the end,
VVhen others quite are flown.

SONG 40. On a Gentlemen that was in Love with two Mistrisses at once.

I Have a flame within my breast,
Yet still do freeze between two fires:
Sometimes I think Aminta best,
Whose sight does heighten my desires:
Bot when I do Corinna see,
Then she alone's my Deity.
When I but on Aminta think,
With Joy I'me in an extasie,
And that I'me at the very brink,
Of being her real Votorie:
But when Corinna I espy,
I'me chang'd i'th turning of an Eye.
Each does Inflame my tortur'd mind,
But know not which to chuse of either:
[Page 103]Then prethee Cupid be so kind,
To give me both, or give me neither;
For if I with Aminta bed,
Without Corrinna I'me but dead.

SONG 41. A Drinking Song.

COme my Lads that love Canary,
Let us have a brisk Figary,
Underneath this spreading Vine,
Underneath this spreading Vine;
And there we will tipple,
Like Babes at the Nipple,
As long as we have a drop of Wine.
Fill me up a lusty Glass Boy,
He that bawks it is an Ass Boy;
Fill it up unto the brim,
Fill it up unto the brim;
Fill'd quicker and quicker,
Until that the Liquor
Have made our muddy brains to swim.
First, here's a health to Moll and Betty,
Who both thou knowst are very pretty,
And are likewise full of coin,
And are likewise full of coin,
[Page 104]For when we do want Boyes,
They'l give us a grant Boyes,
Of that which still does pay for our Wine.
Next here's a health to Sue and Nanny.
Who sing and dance the best of any,
And are likewise very free,
And are likewise very free;
Then here's to'em both Boyes,
Good Faith I'de be loath Boyes,
To miss their good healths, are so kind to me.
Come says one, let us straight Boyes
All be gone, now 'tis late Boyes:
But another that was there,
But another that was there,
Said he'd lay him a Crown,
That he'd sooner be gone,
The longer time he did tarry here.

SONG 42. A Song of a whole Family, that were great Lovers of Bacchus.

MY Grandsire is a brave Fellow,
Keeps Men in Blew, and Yellow,
His drink it is strong and mellow,
And has a good lusty swallow,
[Page 105]Yet learns to tipple and drink,
With Cups fill'd up to the brink,
I never knew him to shrink,
As long as he had any chink.
My Gran'ams a good old Woman,
Beloved of Knights▪ and Yeomen,
She never was foe to no Man,
And the Trade with her was common,
To learn to Tipple and kiss,
Of which she would never miss,
Until that her brains did hiss,
And her name was Bonny Bess.
My Uncle is a brave Spark,
If he meet with ado in the dark,
In the midst of any Park,
He never will miss the mark,
Yet learns to bub good Ale,
Of which he ne're does fail,
And falls to't tooth and nail,
Whether't be new or stale.
My Aunt is a Woman kind,
She will not be behind,
If her Gallant she can find,
She'l only give her mind,
To learn the drinking Trade,
And kissing too in the shade,
And ne're will stir, as 'tis said.
[Page 106]Until that the Reckoning's paid.
My Brothers's a lusty young Gallant,
Knows Flandres, and Zeland, and Brabaut,
And lately's come out of Holland,
And freely will spend his Talent,
To learn this bubbing art,
At which he is very smart,
And from it will never start,
Till all the Company part.
My Sister is a brave Lass,
For so it came to pass,
That kissing on the grass
Her chiefest pleasure was,
To learn to drink and tip,
And still have the Cup at her lip,
At which she would always sip,
Till up her heels it did trip.
Thus Uncle, Grannam, and Gransire,
You see to their Cups wou'd stand Sir,
And Aunt, and Sister, and Brother,
Did teach it to one another;
And all were very well read,
In this kissing and bubbing Trade,
And never in any decay'd,
Until they were all of 'em dead.

SONG. 43. A Mock Song to Collamina of my heart, none shall e're bereave me: And to that Tune.

PRetty Peggy grant to me
One sweet kiss, to prove me
If I stick not close to thee,
As the wood-bine to thee,
Mayst thou never love me.
Passion is a simple thing,
That will ne're content ye,
It will never pleasure bring,
But will leave behind a sting,
That will still torment ye.
Love that Brisk and ayry is,
Brings a Lady pleasure;
But if dull our bloods will freeze,
Which will make you by degrees
To repent at leasure.
Heightned Love doth still beget,
Torment to the Master;
For Jealousy is such a cheat,
No Physitian e're cou'd yet
Find for it a Plaster.
Anger still doth stir up Love,
And increase the fancy,
If't be moderate then you'l prove,
'Tis the only Sphear to move
In, for to advance ye.

SONG 44. On a whipping School-master.
The Tune is: Old Tom a Bedlam.

THere was a Jerking Master,
That was of humour muddy,
His Schollars he'd Lerk,
And so soundly Jerk,
Till their breeches all were bloody.
A Rumpish new made Captain,
Whose name was Robin Burrows,
When in he was come,
He so ploud up his bum,
That it lay in Ridges and furrows.
Likewise came in a Porter,
Who disturb'd this humming concord,
Then he took up his Frock,
And he taw'd his nock;
Nay, he paid him with his own cord.
Then came a lusty Brewer,
By name Cornelius Wallis,
He whipt him so sore,
Both behind and before,
Till his Breech was not'cht like's Tallyes.
Then came in a Car-man,
When he was in his fury,
He took's wip away,
And with it did him pay,
Till he cry'd, ge wo I'le assure ye.
A Taylor came to mend then
His Breeches and his Gown too,
But he claw'd him of so,
Before he did go,
He was forc'd to mend his own too.
A Drunkard came toth' door then,
In the Month of dull October;
Though the Man was young,
Yet he whipt him so long,
Until he had whipt him sober.
An Vpholster came to put up,
Some hangings in the Garret,
Yet he hung him on the back,
Of his lusty Man Iack,
Till his breech was as red as Claret.
A Cobler came to underlay
His Shoes, and them to mend too,
Yet he did him so Thump,
On the top of the Rump,
'Twas almost his Last and End too.
A Tinker knockt at door too,
And made a woeful din there,
And instead of work,
He was wipt like a Turk,
Until he had scarce any skin there.
A Rope-maker came by chance,
And made such a noise with crying,
That he took some of's Cords,
And without more words,
Did whip him instead of buying.
Then a lusty Wench came in once,
Who so it seems was something waggish,
Her name was Gillion,
Yet he torn'd up her Pillion,
And he us'd her like a Baggage,
The weapons that he fought with,
In Birch-lane they were made still,
And the Man grew rich,
By this War for the brich,
Because he was truly paid still.
At lak this bold Schoolmaster,
So weary was with wipping,
He cou'd whip no more,
Death whipt in at door,
And did seaze upon him sleeping.

SONG 45. A Mock to a Song called, since Fortune thou art grown so kind: And to that Tun [...].

O All ye Powers that Rule above,
I have a boon to beg of Iove,
Which I desire;
Which if he grant and shall approve,
I still within that Sphear will move,
And go no higher:
I still within that Sphear will move,
And go no higher.
And first do desire to be,
A Yeoman of a low degree,
And Lands to have,
On which I may live merrily,
And leav't to my posterity,
'Tis all I crave:
And leav't to my, &c.
But now it comes into my mind,
[Page 112]Because I would not be behind,
In place and power,
I'de be a Gentleman well lind,
And with a pretty Girl be joind,
Then beg no more;
And with a pretty Girl be joind,
Then beg no more.
And when that I have liv'd a while
In this Estate with fortunes smile,
With your good leave,
I'de be a Squire too, if you please,
And still to live in health and ease,
'Tis all I crave;
And still to live, &c.
And when that you have grant me this,
I'de likewise Justice be o'th Peace,
And Quoram grave,
That so I still might dominere,
Over all Men in the Shire,
'Tis all I'de have;
Over all Men, &c.
And after this I do intreat,
I might be Knight and Baronet,
With riches store;
And every day the best of Meat,
For me and my good Friends to eat,
I crave no more. For me, &c.
Another Boon, if you'l afford,
I do desire to be a Lord,
With Lands good store,
That so I may fix Horses keep,
For my fine Coach of excellent shape,
I crave no more: For my, &c.
And likewise then I further crave,
To be an Earl, that's rich and brave,
With Houses store,
To each a Park fil'd full of Deer,
And groves of Timber here and there;
I beg no more: And groves, &c.
And then me thinks I fein would be
A Duke likewise, of highest degree,
With Lands o'th best,
That so I may keep Misses store,
Which if you grant, I'le beg no more,
I do protest: Which if &c.
But now I think upon it well,
I have no mind to go to Hell,
For all I have;
But do desire that I may go
To Heaven my self, and Friends also,
'Tis all I crave:
To Heaven my self, and Friends also,
'Tis all I crave.

SONG 46. A Gentleman on his Mistriss lately forced into the Country.

FAir Saint farwel, to thee I'le pay,
The tribute of my vows each day,
Distance of place shall ne're bring me,
To play the Heretick 'gainst thee;
Though thou art absent, yet will I
Remain thy constant votary.
Dear Object of my Souls delight,
Though thou art ravish'd from my sight,
New Beauties shall not me surprise,
I none of those will Idolise;
My loyal heart shall ever be,
A Sacrifice reserv'd for thee.
Should any ask the reason why,
Sorrow's Triumphant in mine eye,
Or what the cause is that my grief,
Exceed all Limits of relief;
'Tis too to plain, since I must say,
The fair B [...]lind [...]'s gone away.

SONG 47. In praise of his beautiful Mistriss.

WHen first my Lucasta my heart did surprise,
By the attraction of Beauty, & power of her eyes,
I trembled, and sighed, and sted [...]astly gaz'd,
Until that my thoughts in raptures were rais'd,
That Monarch's unworthy, who grutches to part
With Scepter or Crown to attain such a heart.
Were the Curtains of Age drawn over that face,
Where now dwells perfection of Beauty and Grace;
Her tongue is so charming and language so fit,
Some call her Angel, so Divine is her wit;
But whil'st Wit and Beauty each other support.
She'l be the chief Gallant of Town and of Court.
Let none then presume with Lucasta to vie
A Star of her Luster out-shines all that's nigh;
That Beauty's no Beauty, if she be but near,
All Beauty to hers, still a foil will appear:
What wish could I wish, were I sure of a grant,
But to Love as I do, and adore such a Saint.
Let Envy now burst, and speak if it dare,
Since all the World knows, how much she is fair;
A mind that's so Noble, a Spirit so brave,
[Page 116]Who would not then wish still to be her Slave:
I would not be freed, though an Empire I gain
A troublesome Crown, cannot equal my chain▪

SONG 48. A Complaint against Love.

LOve is a sickness full of woes,
All remedy refusing;
A plant that with most cutting grows,
Most barren with least using:
Why so?
More we enjoy it, more it dies;
If not enjoy'd, it sighing cryes,
Hey ho.
Love is a torment of the mind,
A tempest everlasting;
And you have made it of a kind,
Not well, nor full, nor fasting.
Why so?
More we enjoy it, more it dies;
If not enjoy'd, it sighing cryes,
Hey ho.

SONG 49. A Song by a Person of Quallity.

LOve is a passion every one must have;
'Twas never known that freedom reach'd the grave;
[...]hose glowing fires alwayes existent are,
[...]hough they'r at first unknown; and then we dare
Huff at the Boy, and call him blind, defie
His Art, and all that lyes in destiny.
[...]e choak our knowledge in a Spungy Tomb,
[...]ntented Ignorance doth give the doom:
[...]e strive to think we are in the right, but then
[...]Ve can not think, for yet we are not Men:
Thus for a while w'are foyl'd, as in a dream,
Till the Sparks join, and burst into a flame.


On Sir Edward Sprague.
[...]Ale like the Prisoners, trembling at the Barr,
When they to death condemn'd byth' Judges are▪
[...] look'd true English-men with selfe same fear
[...]rpriz'd, when they their Admirals fate did hear,
[...] sad a Consternation, seaz'd on all
[Page 118]Their hopes in him, have found their Funeral,
The future Age shall curse that rigid Fate,
Which did decree such ruine to the State
Of Brittain's Isle, so soon for to admit,
Death should arrest what was so dear to it:
God Mars dejectedly does hang his head,
Since his brave matchless Darling Sprague is dead:
Those victorious Lawrels, which did heretofore
Invest his Temples, he from thence hath tore;
And hath resolv'd, all his Trophys shall
Be in one Pyle burnt, at his Funeral.
The Sea-born God, doth sit oppress'd with grief,
Cursing the VVaves, for yeilding no relief
To him, who did alone deserve that they,
Should their just Tribute of obedience pay.
Weep Brittains, weep, and let your flowing Ey [...]
Bring Floods of Tears, each day for Sacrifice,
To his dear Memory; whose spotless Fame
Shall live, till Death it self shall want a Name.
On Epitaph on the same.
Hence flatt'ring Mourners, you whose hyred Ey [...]
Can weep, not grief at funeral Obsequies;
Whose sighs and tears do only serve like smoak,
To crow'd your selves, into a Mourning cloak;
Let none such dare presume this place, 'tis [...]or tru [...]
And real Plaintiss, here's no room for you:
Should all true Mourners wait upon his Herse,
VVe then must Congregate the Universe;
[Page 119]VVhich were not safe, for fear the Tears which fall
Should cause a Deluge, at his Funeral,
VVithin this Urns his Magazeen, whose worth
No Tongue, nor Pen, can really set forth:
Here, here, alas! he lyes Intered! each dust
Of whom deserves Executors in trust.

SONG. 50. A Match at Drinking.

LEt the Bowl pass free,
From thee unto me,
As it first came to thee;
'Tis pitty that we should confine it,
Seeing we have, both Credit, and Coin yet;
Let it e'ne take it's course,
There's no stopping it's force;
Let him hang, that first does decline it.
Away cast the cares,
Your sho [...]s and your wares,
Those Irrational fears,
Let your minds be as frolick as his'en is,
That from his young Bride newly risen is:
VVe will banish that Soul,
That comes here to condole,
VVhich is troubled with Love, or with business.
There's no Man we'l name,
Nor a Lady Inflame,
That is given to'th game,
It will to adumpishnes drive all,
And make us go mad, and go wive all:
VVe will have this whole Night
Set apart for delight,
And our Mirth shall have no corrival.
Then see that the Glass
In its Circuit does pass,
Till it comes where it was;
And every Mans Nose has been in it,
Till he ends it, that first did begin it,
As Copernicus sound,
That the VVorld goes round,
VVe will prove, so shall every thing in it.

SONG 51. The Foolish kind Husband.

A Very pretty Girl was forc'd to VVed
A Rich, but Country Bumkin, (as 'tis said;)
His kindness to her was great; nay lov'd her so,
That for his life he could not her forgo;
VVith Presents also he would daily ply her,
And gave her more still then she did desire:
He ask'd her Parents to what kind of Meat
[Page 121]She lik'd best, he'd provide it her to eat?
They told him she did delight in Furmity,
And that with Sugar it must sweetned be;
VVhich he provided for her every day,
Thinking to get her Love that kind of way.
One Night it fortuned she had eat good store,
VVhich made her Belly rumble o're and o're:
And being that Night both a Bed together,
She tumbled and tost still hither, and thither;
And at the last, (which is a certain truth,)
She clapt her sweet Bum to her Husbands mouth;
And he being then 'twixt sleeping and waking,
VVas the chief cause of his mistaking▪
He thought it her Mouth, and believ'd that she
D [...]d it a purpose, to kiss him Lovingly;
Then he began to kiss it very roundly,
And she poor heart did likewise fizle soundly:
Yet he kist on; at last says he, my Dear,
VVhat hast thee eat to Night? something I'le swear
Hath made thy breath smell very strong; he bust agen,
But she answered him only in fizles then.
Dear VVife, says he, me thinks thy face to night
Is wonderfully swell'd; yet he with might
And main, still in his bussing humour kept;
But she did only fizle, and still slept.
Me thinks thy face is so much swel'd, it grows
Bigger and bigger, that I can't find thy Nose:
He askt her what she had a mind to have
To Morrow for her Dinner? she only gave
[Page 122]Him a soysting answer, and not to's wish,
For he thought when she fizled, she fed aw fish,
No says he, I hate Fish, of all kinds of Meat.
But she cry'd▪ aw Fish; which put him in a heat,
And if she would not tell him, he did swear,
That he wou'd take her a good box o'th ear.
Yet she kept up her fizling Dialect still,
That he, it seems, with scent was very ill;
And thought that he had struck her on the face,
But to his cost he found 'twas in another place:
For with the blow, she flounc't the furmety out
In his sweet face, and bosom round about.
Uds Nigs, said he, I've beaten out the brains
Of my dear VVife, and shall be hang'd for my pains.
Then he cry'd out with might and main, poor heart;
VVhich noise did make his fizling VVife to start:
Up comes a Maid, who laught till she did tickle,
To see her sweet Master in such a pickle.
Then up they got, and sate, until the Maid,
Had cleans'd the Man, and put fresh Sheets o'th Bed;
And glad he was, to see his VVife not dead,
Swearing he'd never strike her again in the Bed.
Next Night she had Furmety also, and when
She came to Bed, she speu'd it up agen:
Says he, my Dear, I find it does not please ye,
I'me sorry such Furmity should disease ye;
And being a Man that had a saving Soul,
Did quickly rise, and fetcht a Spoon and Bowl;
And with the Spoon did keel it up so clean,
[Page 123]That on the Sheets there was none to be seen,
'Twas put into the Bowl, and there it stood
Until the Morrow, (very fresh and good;)
And when his Servants all were come from Plow,
He cal'd his Seeds-man to him: saying, Hugh
Dost thee love Furmety? Yes, Sir, that I do.
Here tak't, says he, and heat it, 'tis fresh and new;
And when 'twas hot, did put therein some bread,
That being done, he whipt it up with speed.
His Master askt him then, how it did eat?
Troth Sir, says he, I ne're eat better Meat.
Much good may it do thee; for by this light,
It would not stay with my poor Wife last Night.
Say you so, says he, nor it shan't with me;
And flounc't it out on's face immediatly:
That two Nights together his Wife, and he▪
Did kindly wash his face with Furmety.

SONG 51. A Dialogue between a Gallant, and his Mistriss
To the Tune: Of the new French Dance called Backnal.

COme my Molly,
Let's be jolly,
Since we are gotten together, my Dear,
Thy Father's s [...]orting,
[Page 124]And we'l be sporting,
Without any fear,
I but Neddy,
My old Daddy
Shou'd he but miss me, O then
He will watch us,
If he catch us,
[...] never shall see thee agen.
Prethee Mally,
Let's not dally,
This is the happiest time we have had;
We will Improve
Our Tallent of Love,
In spight of the Dad.
I but Neddy
He is ready
Still on a sudden to wake;
Shou'd he miss me,
Heavens bless me,
What answer d'e think I can make.
Hang him Molly,
'Tis but a folly
[...]ow to dispute it, we must give it ore;
Let him leave thee,
And I'le receive thee;
What woud'st thou have more?
I see Neddy,
There's no remedy,
[Page 125]But that I must be thy mate;
Then far-well honor
Out upon her,
We Women must yeild to our Fate.

SONG 52. The faithful Lover.
To the Tune: O my Clarissa thou cruel fair.

MY dear Elinda I now must go▪
My cruel Parents tell me so,
They, they, and only they,
Do force me hence away,
But my poor heart do answer no:
For that is dedicate to thee,
And so for evermore shall be;
I here do vow and swear,
Never to break, my Dear,
That plighted Faith 'twixt thee and me.
Sure goodness now is gone astray,
Since Money bears the bell away;
'Tis not what is she now,
But 'tis, what has she now.
That, that alone, bears all the sway.
And though my dear Elinda now,
My Parents wear a wrincled brow;
If they have no remorse,
No threatnings e're shall force
Me, to forsake thee, or my vow.

SONG 53. The forsaken Maid.
To the Tune: Of Balloo.

MY dearest Baby, prethee sleep,
It grieves me sore to see thee weep;
Would'st thou wert quiet, I should be glad,
Thy mourning makes me very sad:
Lye still my Boy,
Thy Mothers joy;
Thy Father caus'd my sad annoy:
Ch. Ay me, ay me, ay me, ay me, ay me, ay me▪ poor Maid,
That by my [...]olly, my folly, am betray'd.
And thou my Darling sleep a while:
Yet when thou 'wak'st do sweetly smile:
Yet smile not as thy Father did
To cozen Maids; Nay, God forbid:
But now I fear,
That thou, my Dear,
Thy Fathers face, and mind will bear:
[Page 127]Ay me, ay me, ay me, ay me, ay me, ay me, poor maid
That by my folly, my folly, am betray'd.
When he began to Court my Love,
I thought him like the Gods above,
His sug [...]red words so pearc't my heart,
(And vow'd from me he'd never part)
But now I see,
That cruel he,
Cares neither for my Babe, nor me.
Ay me, ay me, &c.
Far-well, far-well, thou falsest Youth,
That ever kiss'd a Womans mouth;
Let never Maid then after me,
Commit her, to thy Courtesie;
For cruel thou,
If once they bow;
Wilt thou abuse them, thou car'st no [...] how,
Ch. Ay me, ay me, ay me, ay me, ay me, ay me, poor Maid,
That by my folly, my folly, am betray'd.

SONG 54. A Mock to, how hard is a heart to be cur'd.

HOw hard is a Wench to be gotten,
That is not all over be-itcht,
She'l be sure to make a Man rotten.
[Page 128]If on her his fancy be pitch't,
And nothing but Death can relieve
The pangs that he must endure,
VVhen he from her shall receive
The things, that admits of no cure.
One had better take one to himse [...]f,
VVithout danger of any relapse,
And in VVine spend all his Pelf,
VVithout danger of getting of claps,
And enjoy his own mate at his pleasure;
And that it once may be said,
Of himself he had spent all his treasure,
And once had lain with a Maid.

SONG 55. A Mock Song, to fly Boyes to the Cellar Bottom.

STay Boyes, stay, we'l have no Canary,
Our Pockets quite are empty,
Stay then till we have plenty;
For a Penny we cannot spare ye,
For VVine we don't care▪
It goes against the Hair,
And we'l stay not;
For I know 'twill vex you much,
And I'me sure yov'l it grutch,
If we should be those as pay not.

SONG. 56. A Mock to, Why so pale and wand fond Lover.

WHy so proud you saucy Jade,
Prethee why so proud;
You scorn the Complements I have made,
Will Curses be allow'd;
Prethee why so proud.
Why so brazen-fac't and bold,
Prethee why so surly,
To say you were a bawling Scold
Wou'd make a hurly burly;
Prethee why so surly.

SONG 57. A Mock to, Calm was the Evening and cleer was the Skye.

SHarp was the Air, and cold was the Ground,
When Old Roger and I was walking,
And a warm place was not to be found,
But starv'd we were in our talking:
We made haste to our Chimney Corner,
[Page 130]But we made such a smoke,
It did us e'ne choke,
Till we fell to cough ho, ho, ho, ho, ho,
Cough, ho, ho, ho.
He laid his sweet Mouth to my face,
And his Nose did drop on my chin,
Which brought me into the same case,
For a driveling I did begin,
And down it did run very low:
But the best, of the jest
Was, we cought out the rest,
And we cought out, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho,
Cought ho, ho, ho.
I puk't and my Lungs did heave,
And he poor Man held my head
Was so kind, that he did not leave
Until he had got me to bed:
Then down he came, and lay by me,
Therein he was kind enough:
We were each fourscore,
And cou'd do no more,
But did cough, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho,
Cought ho, ho, ho.

SONG. 58.

A Dieu fond World, and all thy wiles,
Thy haughty frowns, and treacherous smiles:
They that behold thee with their Eyes,
Thy double dealing will despise.
From the false World my deadly foe,
Into some Desart let me go,
Some Gloomy melancholly Cave,
Dark, and [...]lent, dark and silent as the Grave.
Let me withdraw, where I may be,
From thy Impertinency free:
There when I hear the Turtle groan,
How sweetly would I make my moan.
Kind Philomel would teach me there,
My sorrow pleasantly to bear:
There would I correspond with none,
But Heaven, and mine own breast alone.

SONG 59.

HOw b [...]n [...]y and bri [...]k▪ how pleasant and sweet,
Wer [...] [...] & I while my passions were strong
So eagerly each other flames we did meet,
That a Minutes delay did appear to be long:
The vows that I made her, she seal'd with a kiss,
Till my Soul I had lost in a rapture of bliss.
I vow'd, and I thought I could ever have lov'd,
When beauty and kindness together I found,
So sweetly she lookt, and so sweetly she mov'd,
That I [...]ansied my strength with my joys to abound
The pleasure I gave she did doubly requite,
By finding out ever new ways for delight.
At length when enjoyment had put out my fire,
My strength was decay'd, and my passion was done
So pall'd was my Fancy, so tame my desire,
That I from the Nimph very fain would have gone
Ah Ienny said I, we adore you in vain,
For beauty enjoy'd doth but turn to disdain.

SONG. 60. A Mock Song to Cellamina of my heart, none shall ever bereave me. And to that Tune.

MOll, I nere yet knew thy mind,
Once again I'le prove thee,
If thou wilt but be so kind,
To kiss me twice or thrice behind,
Faith Ile ever love thee.
Tom, I'me Ignorant I vow,
Which way to come to it,
But if you the way will show,
First kiss mine; then I shall know
The better how to do it.
We'l draw Cuts then if thou woo't
Now, within this Minute.
And when we have drawn the Lot,
They that have the shortest Cut,
They shall first begin it.
Hang your Cuts, do you begin't,
You're the first did move it,
And when I see you do [...]'t in Print,
Sure you'l think the Devils in't,
Should I not approve it.

SONG 61. A Mock to that against Marriage, Called out of pure, and arrant Devotion.

Out of my chast, and good intent,
In Marriage now my life shall be spent,
'TIs the end of Debauchery, the beginning of pleasure,
The preserver of Youth, wit, vertue, and treasure,
And there's no danger of a troublesome Night,
Or occasion with Constable, or Watch men to fight;
And so equal a thing is the Marriage Notion,
That from years end, to years end, it keeps the same motion;
For in Wenches and Cracks there's a great deal of trouble;
Their Hectors they h [...]ff you & make you their buble;
The wenches they cheat, make you pawn cloak, and hat,
To find Money only to give you a clap,
That's so hard to be cured: there's no more to be said
Keep close to your Wife, and enjoy her in Bed.

SONG 62. A Mock to, Let's laugh and be merry.

LEt's away from the Tavern, and not be so mad,
To be drunk every day, now the world is so bad,
And run after Wenches i'th Park or the Fields,
To waste our Estates, when no profit it yeilds:
But now we grow far wiser, then e're we have been,
And upon all occasions in our Shops to be seen:
For he that spends Money, on Wenches and drink,
May starve without coin, when our pockets do chink [...]

SONG 63.

POx take your humours Maddam, don't believe,
'Cause you [...]rown, I'me such an Ass to grieve;
'Cause I have got a foolish trick to prate,
And call you handsome, must you put on state;
Sometimes I rant it higher; and compare
Your Eyes to Stars, the very Angels Livery; swear
You out vie the Sun in his defusive way;
Come don't believe all is true I say;
I ne're could take such pleasure in a kiss,
Nor in a smile conceive so great a bliss:
Nor e're could smell the sweetness, which the Air
Drew from your breath, unless your hair
[Page 136]Were powdred: I've a Critick guess, and can allow
A counterfeited wrincle on the Brow;
Provided it be to prepare a light
To sweeten joy, and relish Appetite:
But if you frown in earnest, when I wooe
And serious are: by Iove I can do so to.
Take heed, this do not bring you to that pass,
That all shall scorn to Court you, but your Glass:
Then you with sorrow may your shadow tell,
You had a Servant once that lov'd you well:
Till your own folly lost him: then be sure,
If you'le be lov'd by me, with Love that's pure
And shine as glorious as you did be [...]ore;
Henceforth be wise, and anger me no more.

SONG. 64.

LOng since fair Clarinda, my passion did move,
Whilst under my friendship, I conveyed my love
But now I must speak, though I fear tis in vain,
'Tis too late in my Death to dissemble my pain
In telling my Love, though I fear I shall deny.
I shall ease my sad heart, and more quietly die.
But sure by my eyes, you my passion may find,
No Friendship e're Languisht, or lookt half so kind,
Though I said not I lov'd, you might see it so plain,
Friends us'd not to sigh, or to speak with such pain:
Each touch with her hand, such war [...]th did inspire
[Page 137]My face was all Feavor, my heart was all fire.
My thoughts are so tender, my Tongue cannot tell,
What bliss would be your's, if you lov'd half so well
Let the the thing with the Title or property prove,
Let him have the show, and me have the love:
I have lov'd you so long, that if you delay,
You will owe me so much, that you never can pay.

SONG. 65.

WHat a Riddle is Love, if thought on aright,
Tis mirth mixt with sorrow, & pain with de­light,
Tis a pleasant Disease, and de [...]icate smart,
At once the vexation, and joy of my heart.
For this Signal Grace to the world I declare,
In Earth, Heaven, and Hell, Lov's power's the same,
No Laws there, nor here, no Gods so severe,
But Love can repeal, and Beauty can tame.

SONG. 66.

WHen on my sick-bed I Languish,
Full of sorrowful Anguish,
Faiting, Gasping, Trembling, Crying,
Panting, Groaning, Speechless, Dying;
My Soul just now, about to take her flight,
[Page 138]Into the Region of Eternal Night;
O tell me you,
That have been long below,
What shall I do?
VVhat shall I think, when cruel Death appears,
That may extenuate my fears?
Me thinks I hear some gentle Spirit say,
Be not fearful, come away:
Think with thy self, that now thou shalt be free,
And find thy long expected liberty:
Thou mayst, but worst thou canst not be,
Then in the Vale of tears, and misery:
Like Caesar, with assurance then come on;
And unamaz'd attempt the Lawrel Crown,
What lyes on th'other side Deaths Rubicon.

SONG 67.

PHilander, and Sylvia, a gentle soft pair,
VVhose business was love and kissing their care,
In a sweet smelling grove went sighing along,
Till the youth gave a vent to his heart, by his tongue:
O Sylvia, said he, (and sight as he spoke)
Your cruel resolve, will you never revoke?
No never, she said. How never! he cry'd,
'Tis the ill that shall only that Sentence abide.

SONG 68.

FAir Caelia too sondly contemns those delights,
wherewith gentle Nature, hath softned the nights:
If she be so kind to present us with power:
The fault is our own to neglect the good hour:
Who gave thee thy beauty, ordain'd thou shouldst be
As kind to thy S [...]aves, as the Gods are to thee.

SONG 69. The Gadding Gallant.

To the Tune of, She lay all naked in her bed,
WHy should'st thou say Arinda, I
Have been untrue to thee?
Thou knowst a week I did comply,
And was thy Votary;
VVhich was a tedious time to me,
Because that heretofore
I ne're did stay
Above a day,
Nor ne're intend it more.
Do but observe the industrious Bee,
VVho after every shower,
[Page 140]VVill swiftly fly from Tree to Tree,
And sip at every flowre:
VVere she confind'd to one alone,
The pleasure would be void:
But being free
VVithal, you see
The Fancy nere is cloy'd.
Likewise I pray what he or she,
VVhither of Flesh or Fish,
VVou'd be content perpetualy,
To feed upon one Dish;
Too much of one things good for nought,
And dulls the Appetite;
And all agree,
Do's raise it to the height.
Besides Arinda, know that change
Is now the only mode,
And every one delights to Range,
And make their Meals abroad;
Then why should I be ty'd to one
Since all are free beside,
Yet thoud'st have me
Be fixt to thee,
As if thou wert my Bride.

SONG 70. Tune is, And 'tis the knave of Clubs bears all the [...]

I Sing of Sciences which fate,
To English-men has brought of late;
And though from forreign parts they came,
Yet we have all embrac'd the same.
And now have fixt them so well here,
They'r all a mode de Anglitterre.
First Boy, if thou hast store of Chink,
And hast a mind to learn to drink,
Although the Dutch-men shew'd the way
To tipple Brandy Night and Day;
Yet we the knack on't now have here,
'Tis all a Mode, &c.
Hast thou a mind thy time to pass,
With a Mis or pretty Lass.
And though the French at first did show
The way to all, yet you must know
We now so much esteem it here,
'Tis all a Mode, de Anglitt [...]rre.
Hast thou a mind to learn to Swear,
The wicked'st Oath that ever were,
Though the Germans it began,
VVe now do swear, and curse and ban;
'Tis pleasant grown to every ear,
And all a Mode, &c.
Hast thou a mind to learn to Lye,
[...]o Cozen, Cheat, and Cogg a die,
VVhich we from Forrein parts have learn'd,
Yet more plainly now it is descern'd,
That we so well have learn't it here,
'Tis all a mode, &c.
Last would'st thou learn to Quarrel too,
Here thou may'st do't with small ado,
From thence away to duelling,
VVhich we from Forrein Parts did bring;
And now 'tis so establish'd here,
'Tis all a mode, &c.
Thus have you heard both one and all,
The Sciences Illiberal,
Which here are learn'd in little space,
And all are done with Divellish grace;
And being made free Denizens here,
They'r all a mode de Angliterre.


PAge 10. line 18, alwas read always. p. 13. l. 8. tongue r. thunder. p. 18. l. 21. add when. p. 45. l. 13. Thrgeo r. Turgeo. p. 46. l. 4. Renno r. Renuo. p. 47. l. 27. Drodo r. Prodo. p. 48. l. 12. Puso r. Pulso. p. 63. l. 6. Thus r. There. p. 78. l. 6. round r. unwed. p. 80. l. 7. Thy r. There. p. 111. l. 1. [...] r. last. p. 137. l. 20. Faiting r. Fainting.


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