Recreation for ingenious head-peeces, or, A pleasant grove for their wits to walk in of epigrams 700, epitaphs 200, fancies a number, fantasticks abundance : with their addition, multiplication, and division.

Recreation for ingenious head-peeces, or, A pleasant grove for their wits to walk in of epigrams 700, epitaphs 200, fancies a number, fantasticks abundance : with their addition, multiplication, and division.

Table of contents

Title page

§

Ad Lectorem.

The Stationer to the Reader.

EPIGRAMS.

1. To the Reader.

2. On Battus.

3. On Prue.

4. To Gripe.

5. On Man and Woman.

6. On Womans will.

7. Spangle the spruce Gal:

8. Chaerilus.

9. In Paulum.

10. Vestitus peritus.

11. Of Poetus.

12. Of Shift the Sharker.

13. On an Vpstart.

14. Volens Nolens.

15. Ad Clodium.

16. In Getam.

17. To Emson.

18. In Fimum.

19. In Flaccum.

20. Of Womens naked breasts.

21. On Morcho.

22. On a Bragadocio.

23. Edens vomens.

24. On a Pumpe stopt with stones.

25. Of Prittle-prattle.

26. In Aulum.

27. Ad Tilenum.

28. To Vellius.

29. Three Genders.

30. Of Brawle.

31. In Paulum.

32. Of sleep and death.

33. Vpon Methusus.

34. On Thraso.

35. Newes.

36. Of Rufus.

37. Of Marcus.

38. Of a Thief.

39. Of Motion.

40. Formall the Fashionist.

41. Ad Scriptorem quend.

42. Riches.

43. On Sextus.

45. Secreta nobis.

45. Of Text-corruptors.

46. On a Drawer drunk.

47. Vpon the weights of a Clock.

48. On Cynna.

49 On Alastrus.

50. Of Mendacio.

51. On Landanno.

52. On Shanks.

53. Cito bene.

54. Of Pertinax.

55. To valiant Dammee.

56. On Cornuto.

57. On a Shrew.

58. Of Lawlesse.

59. A rich Curre.

60. On a Youth married to an Old Woman.

61. On a Fly in a glasse.

62. On Collimus.

63. To Loquax.

64. Good wits jump.

65. On Womens Masks.

66. Of Sawcy the Intruder.

67. Vpon a pair of Tongs.

68. Lawyers and Souldiers.

69. On Momus.

70. Woman.

71. Clytus cunning.

72. Rich promises.

73. On Comptulus.

74. On Gellius.

75. To Ponticus.

76. Balbus.

77. On a Pot-Poet.

78. On Onellus.

79. Of professed Atheists.

80. To Termagant.

81. On a Vertuous Talker.

82. To Severus.

83. Vpon Pigs devouring a bed of Penny-royall, commonly called Organs.

84. On Gubs.

85. On a Fortune-teller.

86. To sweet sir Ou•side.

87. On a Gallant.

88. To Eras-mus.

89. On Bunce.

90. On an empty House.

91. A trim Barber.

92. On a bragging Coward.

93. On a great Nose.

94. On an unequall pair.

95. In Quintum.

96. On a changeable Rayment.

97. On Guesse.

98. On Stale-Batch.

99. To sir Guilty.

100. Veritas subverta.

101. On Hugh.

102. On a Painted Madam.

103. On Barossa.

104. Experto credendum.

105. On Iack Cut-purse.

106. On Afer.

107. On Charismus.

108. Facilis descensus averni.

109. Age and Youth.

110. On Orus.

111. On Sneape.

112. On Acerra.

113. Empta nostra.

114. On Briso.

115. A Foolish Querie.

116. On the King of Swedens Picture.

117. B. I. answer to a Thief bidding him stand.

118. Thiefs reply.

119. Nothing New.

120. On Cupid.

121 A Tobacconist.

122. Feeble standing.

123. Long and Lazie.

124. On the Tobaconist.

125. Another.

126. On Button the Grave-maker.

127. On long haire.

128. To a stale Lady.

129. A Crab is restorative.

130. Alius altior.

131. Sor•e tua contentas.

132. On a pretender to Prophecy.

133. Mart. lib. 8. Epigr. 69.

134. On a Gamester.

135. Parcus profusus.

136. On Fr. Drake.

137. B. I. approbation of a copy of Verses.

138. Vt pluma persona.

139. Gaine and Gettings.

140. Domina praedominatis.

141. On Doll.

142. To a Nose and Teeth very long.

143. On a Welshman and an Englishman.

144. On Pride.

145. On Skrew.

146. O Mores.

147. To Teltale.

148. Sperando pariens.

149. On a Souldier.

150. Vivens mortuis.

151. A secret necessity.

152. On Garret and Chambers.

153. Dubium indubitatum.

154. On Linnit.

155. On Vsuring Gripe.

156. A phrase in Poetry.

157. A Witt-all.

158. Ad Lectorem.

159. On Skinns.

160. Suum cuique pulchrum.

161. Certa dissimulans.

162. In magnis voluisse sat est.

163. As proud as witlesse Dracus.

164. Saltem videretur.

165. Knowing and not knowing.

166. Stupid Binus.

167. Postrema pessima.

168. On his Mistris.

169. On a proud Maid.

170. Tempus edax rerum.

171. Facies ignota.

172. On a coy Woman.

173. On Bed-keeping.

174. On a man stealing a Candle from a Lanthorn.

175. On Fraternus.

176. Little and Loud.

177. On a French Fencer, that challenged Church an English Fencer.

178. On Gella.

179. On I. Lipsius who bequeathed his Gown to the V. Mary.

180. On two striving together.

181. A Lawyers Will.

182. Youth and Age.

183. Somnus decipiens.

184. To a Shoomaker.

185. Death.

186. Quos ergo, &c.

187. A disparity.

188. To Maledict.

189. On Newter Ned.

190. Interpone tuis, &c.

191. Ignotus sibi.

192. On Craw.

193. Pot Poet.

194. Content.

195. Fast and Loose.

196. Tortus.

197. On Raspe.

198. Impar impares odit.

199. Similis doctrina libello.

200. On Tullus.

201. Vt parta perdita.

202. On Iack and Iill.

203. On Women.

204. On Womans love.

205. On Cooke a Cuckold.

206. Nomine, non re.

207. A Mounsieur Naso, vero le.

208. A Butcher marrying a Tanners daughter.

209. A Widow.

110. On a Farmer Knighted.

211. On Pallas and Bacchus Birth.

212. On an old man doting upon a young Wench.

213. On a Welshman.

214. On Lungs.

215. Ad Quintum.

216. As many dayes in the year, so many Veins in man.

217. To a friend, on the losse of his Mistresse.

218. On a Whore.

219. Aequalis consensus.

220. On a Welshman

221. On Men and Women.

222. On Linus.

223. Sauce for sorrowes.

224. On a little dimunitive Band.

225. On fine apparrell.

226. Vpon Conscience.

227. Dicta praedicta.

228. On Vmber.

229. In Cornutum.

230. A witty passage.

231. On Cob.

232. Omnia pariter.

233. A new married Bride.

234. On a Pudding.

235. Answer.

236. Si nihil attuloris, ibis, &c.

237. On Maids.

238. Vt cecidit surgit.

239. On a man whose choyce was to be hang'd or married.

240. Women.

241. On a Louse.

242. A Courtier and a Scholler meeting.

243. Cede majoribus.

244. On Betty.

245. A rule for Courtiers.

246. Why women wear a fall.

247. For as expertus.

248. To a painted Whore.

249. Detur quod meritum.

250. Non lubens loquitur.

251. On Philos.

252. The promise-breaker.

253. Change.

254. On a passing Bell.

255. Nummos & demona jungit▪

256. Nil gratum ratione carens.

257. Non cessat perdere lusor.

258. Womens policy.

259. Volucrem sic decipit auceps.

260. Perdat qui caveat emptor.

261. On Death.

262. To Mr. Ben Iohnson, demanding the reason why he call'd his playes works.

263. Thus answer'd by a friend in Ben Iohnsons defence.

264. On Crambo a lowsie shifter.

265. Ad Aristarchum.

266. In Aulum.

267. On covetous persons.

268. On a Dyer.

269. Non verbera, sed verba.

270. Love and Liberty.

271 To a neat reader.

272. Of Letting.

273. Sublata causa &c.

274. Sapiat qui dives, oportet.

275. In Dossum.

276. Post dulcia, finis amarus.

277. Feminae Iudificantur viros.

278. Ad Tusserum.

229. Praestat videri quam esse.

280. Tunc •ua res agitur.

281. On Skoles.

282. A Conference.

283. In Marcum.

284. Quod non verba suadeant?

285. Stupid Binus.

286. In divites.

287. In Fannium.

288. On a vaunting Poetaster.

289. In divites iracundo•.

290. Durum telum necessitas.

291. To an upstart.

292. Ambition.

293. Suum cuiq•e.

294. In Prodigum.

295. In Medicum.

296. On Zelot.

297. Crispati crines plumae dant calcar amori.

298. On Boung-Bob.

299. On Glaucus.

300. On Crab.

301. Dolo intimus.

302. Of Batardus.

303. Consuetudo lex.

304. On Womens deniall.

305. In Battum.

306. On Marriage.

307. Vidua aurata.

308. In Dol praegnantem.

309. Timidos fortuna repellit.

310. Against a certain —

311. Loves progresse.

312. On old Scylla.

313. On Gallants cloaks.

314. On Banks the Vserer.

315. Pecunia praevalens.

316. On the same.

317. On Debt.

318. A forsworn Maid.

319. Adversity.

320. On Soranzo.

321. To a great Guest.

322. In Cottam.

323. De Corde & Lingua.

324. On Rumpe.

325. On Poverty.

326. In Ebriosum.

327. Wills error.

328. On Rome.

329. On Tuck.

330. Some thing no savour.

331. Art, Fortune, and Ignorance.

332. On Bibens.

333. On Tobacco.

334. On Cupid.

335. On Ebrio.

336. On Love.

337. On the same.

338. On a Woman.

339. Ingluviem sequitur fames.

340. On Maulsters.

341. In Corbum.

342. On Priscus Mistresse.

343. On Women.

344. On Souldiers.

345. Drusius and Furio.

346. On Cupid.

347. On Candidus.

348. On a Puritan.

349. Ostendit hedera vinum.

350. Quantum mutatus ab illo!

351. Vpon Lavina.

352. Report and Error.

353. In Superbum.

354. No truth in Wine.

355. On Infidus.

356. On Celsus.

357. On Christmasse Ivy.

358. Adversity.

359. On Bacchus.

360. Of a fat man.

361. A wished Cramp.

362. Vindicta vim sequitur.

363. On Flaccus.

364. Per plumas anser.

365. Of Ienkin.

365. On Trigg.

366. To Fortune.

367. On Briscus.

368. On an English Ape.

369. Possessions.

370. Nulla dies sine linea.

371. In Cornutum.

372. On More-dew.

373. Pari jugo dulcis tractus.

374. On Sims mariage.

375. Vpon Sis.

376. On Clym.

377. On Gut.

378. On Womens faults.

379. To a Muck-worm.

380. On Law.

381. In Coam.

382. Maids Nay's.

383. De Ore.

384. In Hugonem.

385. On Severus.

386. On Iulias weeping.

387. On a Gallant.

388. On Vertue, Milla's Maid.

389. On Corydon.

390. On a Spanish Souldier.

391. Vpon the Asse.

392. On Hypocrisie.

393. Daemonum certamen.

394. On Love.

395. On Man and Woman.

396. On Fabullus.

397. On Fornus.

398. Quid non ebrietas.

399. No Paines, no Gaines.

400. Infirmis animosus.

401. A culina ad curiam.

402. Frustra vocaveris heri.

403. Magnis non est morandum.

404. Puduit sua damna referre.

405. Ad Lectorem.

406. Nimis docuit consuetudo.

407. Poculo junguntur amici.

408. Nullum stimulum ignaris.

409. In Richardum.

410. Non penna, sed usus.

411. An absolute Gallant.

412. To Momus.

413. In Dolentem.

414. Abditio perditio.

415. On a Gallant.

416. In Sextum.

417. A Stammerer.

418. On himselfe.

419. Tom's fortune.

420. Opus and Vsus.

421. A good Wife.

422. Anger.

423. Vpon Gellia.

424. On an unconstant Mistresse.

425. In Lesbiam.

426. In Paulinum.

427. On Zeno.

428. Of a Drunkard.

429. To Cotta.

430. To Women.

431. On Creta.

432. On Priscus.

433. On Rufus.

434. On Tobacco.

435. Vpon Nasuto.

436. Nec vultus indicat virum.

437. On Furius.

438. Fools Fortune.

439. Tace sed age.

440. On Count-surly.

441. On Women.

442. Verses.

443. Poor Irus.

444. Merry Doll.

445. Heaven and Hell.

446. Like qu•stion like answer.

447. On deaf Ioan.

448. Of an ill wife.

449. Meum & Tuum.

450. Deaths trade.

451. O• Bice.

452. Valiant in drinke.

453. Master and Scholler.

454. Gasters great belly.

455. Drunken Dick.

456. In Sextinum.

457. Sine sanguine.

458. On humane Bodies.

459. On Trencherman.

460. A Toothlesse-pratler.

461. A musicall Lady.

462. In Laurettam.

463. On Macer.

464. Briskap the Gallant.

465. Necessity hath no Law.

466. In Carientium.

467. On Harpax.

468. To a Barber.

469. Vpon Grand•orto.

470. The Fencer and Physick Doctor.

471. In Lusiam.

472. Kisses.

473. A Civilian.

474. Rainaldo, and Rainer.

475. Spinus his choyce.

476. Backbiters.

477. In Salonus.

478. In Leonatum.

479. Nosce teipsum.

480. An Old Silvium.

481. On Perfumes.

482. Arcades ambo.

483. On Punchin.

484. Ne fide colori.

485. In Flavium.

486. Ad Quintum.

487. In Virtutem.

488. A good wits diet.

489. On Womens tongue.

490. A proper comparison.

491. Of Death.

492. Woman.

493. Pepertit, &c.

494. Insipiens.

495. Romes wifelesse Clergy.

496. On Eves Apples.

497.

498. Beauty.

499. On Poeticall Blinks.

500. A Conceit.

501. Women.

502. Mutuans Dissimulans.

503. Writing.

504. A cure for Impatience.

505. Satisfaction.

506. To Mistris mutable.

507. On a Mad-man.

508. To Scilla.

509. Nescis, quid serus vesper vehat.

510. To Ficus.

511. On a painted Curtezan.

512. Of Arnaldo.

513. Labor improbus omnia vincit.

514. Quis nisi mentis inops—

515. On a friend indeed.

516. On an Italian Proverb.

517. Mans ingresse and egresse.

518. On bad Debtors.

519. On a Iustasse.

520. Genitoris nesciens.

521. To a sleeping Talker.

522. Omne simile non est idem.

523. Tandem manifestum.

524. Qui ebrius laudat temperantiam.

525. Quantum mutatus ab illo.

526. On wisedome and vertue.

527. On Ducus.

528. Mysus and Mopsa.

529. On Photinus.

530. On Castriotes.

531. New Rhetorique.

532. To some kinde Readers.

533. Est mihi Divi parens.

434. Principia sordida.

535. On Thirsites.

536. On Zoilus.

537. On a long beard.

538. On my selfe.

539. Nimium ne crede colori.

540. Silens simplex.

541. To the mis-interpreter.

542. To Mary Meare.

543. Ad Rinaldum amic.

544. On himselfe.

545. Fingers end.

546. Sapia qui vendit oportet.

547. Clamans Asinus.

548. Vpon Dunmo.

549. Vpon Tom Tolthams Nose.

550. Domina praedominans.

551. Titus the Gallant.

552. In Lalum.

553. To Criticus.

554. Profundo Scientia.

555. On two by Sea.

556. Vt pluma parsona.

557. Aurum volat ocius Euro.

558. To Pontilianus.

559. Instabilis stans.

560. On some Lawyers.

561. Health.

562. Case is altered.

563. Quae placuit Domino nupta est Ancilla sodali.

564. Plagis mitior.

565. Priscus.

566. Anger soon appeased.

567. A foole for Company.

568. In Cineam.

569. On Captain Sharke.

570. A witty answer.

571. Gossips discourse.

572. Capa• incapabilis.

573. A Parson and a Thief.

574. Similes habent labra lactucas.

575. A Souldiers jest.

576. Good Advice.

577. Theeves.

578. Asse.

579. Enecat amplexu nimio, sic simia foetum.

580. To Festus.

581. A Gentleman and his Physitian.

582. On Saint George.

583. Similis cum simili.

584. Ebrius oblitus.

585. Dulce quod utile.

586. In Dacum.

587. In Sillam.

588. Varietas iniquit•s.

589. Good sawce.

590. Plagis mitior.

591. To a Lawyer.

592. Semel insanivimus.

593. Of himselfe.

594. Vpon Annes marriage with a Lawyer.

595. Aenigma.

596. On Cupid.

597. An Answer.

598. Lucus journey.

599. Of Nature.

600. Vilescit dives avarus.

601. Visum ignotum.

602. Vpon Marriage.

603. On Annas a News-monger.

604. Sir Iohn.

605. Conjectus.

606. Aulus.

607. On envy.

608. Errantes errare licet.

609. To a Drunkard.

610. On Pru.

611. To Momus.

612. To Roba.

613. On Gallo.

614. Pudor est sua damna referre.

615. Wheele-greace.

616. Who best friend.

617. O times and manners!

618. Carpe.

619. Non nunquam jactat egenus▪

620. On Terpin.

621. To Phaulo.

622. Little, nothing, too much, enough.

623. On Spurco of Oxford.

624. On the same.

625. To Damon.

626. Compotatio.

627. Conscientia testis.

628. On Terpin.

629. On Ned.

630. Pecunia prevalens.

631. On Love.

632. A Herculean taske.

633. On Coritia.

634. On Drammato.

635. Taming of a Shrew.

636. Liberty.

637. Drammato.

638. On Galba.

639. To the Reader.

640. On Formidando.

641. The German-Dutch.

642. Death.

643. On Carp and Manilla.

644. On Carp.

645. To Phaulos.

646. To Coracine.

647. On Pru.

648. The Parret.

649. To Maronilla.

650. Study.

651. To Lionell.

652. On Pumilio a Dwarfe.

653. Sharpe sauce.

654. On Drad-nought.

655. On Phaulos and Gellia.

656. To his Friend.

657. Maried Folke.

658. On Pru and Galla.

659. On Bombo.

660. On Lulls.

661. On Paeto.

662. On the same.

663. On Plutus.

664. To Phocion.

665. To Lividus.

666. On his Verses.

667. Truth.

668. Time.

669. To Bombo.

670. On Plutus.

671. To Linus.

672. Leven.

673. To Phaulos.

674. To Claudius and Linus.

675. Hot-waters.

676. On Grotto.

677. On Boreman.

678. On Crab.

679. On Fargo.

680. On Richard.

681. To Spruce.

682. On This Wise age.

683. On Profuso.

684. On a fire in Towne.

685. To either Vniversity.

686. On Mounsieur Congee.

687. To my Reader.

688. On Physitians.

689. On Puff.

690. To Flash.

691. Wi•tily wicked.

692. A Doctor and his Patient.

693. On Mounsier Powder-wig.

694. To Rash.

695. Drunk-bounty.

696. To Gut.

697. To Simple.

698. On Quaff.

699. To Tom Coriat.

700. To a fat Vsurer.

701. On Brisk.

702. Semel insanivimus omnes.

703. On Sullen.

704. To Banks.

705. To Boldface.

706. Of his Booke.

707. On Bearill.

708. On Bib.

709. On Silly.

710. Ad sesquipidales poetastros.

§

1. On a Lyer.

2. On a Dyer.

3. On a Iugler.

4. On Mr. Fish.

5. On a Child.

6. On Mr. Do.

7. On Taylor a Serjeant, kill'd by a Horse.

8. On Mr. Thomas Best.

9. On Robin.

10. On Bell the Tinker.

11. On proud Tygeras.

12. On Iohn Cofferer.

13. On blind and deaf Dick Freeman.

14. On a Miller.

15. On a Lady.

16. On a Wrestler.

17. On Iohn Death.

18. On an Infant.

19. On a little but very ingenuous youth.

20. On a Lady dying quickly after her Husband.

21. On Mr. Stone.

22. On Mr. Strange.

23. A Forts Epitaph.

24. On Mr. Anguish a scholler.

25. On a lovely young youth.

26. On Mr. Thomas A•len.

27. On a Lady.

28. On a pious Benefactor.

29. On a Poet in Prison.

30. On a poor Poet.

31. A man and his wife.

32. On a Pauls-walker.

33. On a Scrivener.

34. On one that cheated his Father.

35. On a Cut-purse.

36. On a young great wit.

37. On an Vsurer.

38. On a Captain.

39. On a Potter.

40. On a Merchant.

41. On a young man newly maried, dyed.

42. On Iohn Friend.

43. On Christopher Fowler.

44. On Dorothy Rich.

45. On Ralph.

46. On Walter Moone.

47. On Iohn Cooling a Player-foole.

48. On a Welshman.

49. On Io. Long.

50. On Stephen Spooner.

51. On a Lawyer.

52. On a Waterman.

53. On Sir Francis Drake.

54. On a Gallant.

55. On Iohn Garret.

56. On notable Ned.

57. On a Taylour who dyed of the stitch.

58. On a travelling Beggar.

59. On a Mason.

60. On a Schoolmaster.

61. On Prince Henry.

62. On the death of Mr. Newcomin of Clarehall in Cambridge.

63. On Hobson the Carrier.

64. Another.

65. Another.

66. Another.

67. On a Footman.

68. Iustus Lipsius.

69. On a Child.

70. On a rich Gentleman.

71. On a Child.

72. On a Lock-smith.

73. On a Collier.

74. On Dick Pinner.

75. On a Sack-sucker.

76. On a Child.

77. On a Candle.

78. On T. H. the Pannier-man of the Temple.

79. On a young Infant.

80. On Mr. Calfes death.

81. On Bolus.

82. On a Clowne.

83. On a Child.

85. On a Musitian.

85. On a Gardener.

86. On a Drunkard.

87. On a Child.

88. Another.

89. On Mr. Sands.

90. On Mr. Goad.

91. On Monday.

92. On a Child.

93. On a Matron.

94. In Latine thus.

95. On a Souldier.

96. On Mr. Dumbelow, that dyed of the winde Collicke.

97. On Mr. Kitchins death.

98. On Isabella a Curtezan.

99. On a vertuous wife.

100. On Mr. Christopher Lawson.

101. On a Welshman.

102. On Mr. Carter, burnt by the great powder-mischance in Finsbury.

103. On a Lady dying in Childbed.

104. On a Faulconer.

105. On Ioan Truman who had an issue in her legge.

106. On a youth.

107. On Prince Henry.

108. On— borne before his time.

109. On a very fat man.

110. On Iohn Newter.

111. On Hocas Pocas.

112. On a Child of two years old, being born and dying in July.

113. On a Cobler.

114. On a young Gentlewoman.

115. On a Scholler.

116. On a young Woman.

117. On Brawne.

118. On a Candle.

119. On M. R.

120. On a Child.

121. On an Inne-keeper.

122. On a Cobler.

123. On M. Aire.

124. On Mr. Rice. M.

125. On Thomas Iones.

126. On a young man.

127. On the two Littletons that were drowned at Oxford, 1636.

128. On a Butler.

129. On M. Cook.

130. On a Porter.

131. Vpon one who dyed in Prison.

132. On Waddam Colledge Butler.

133. On a Horse.

134. On an old Man a Residenciary.

135. On a Maid.

136. On Husband and Wife.

137. On Aretyne.

138. On William Coale an Alehouse-keeper, at Coaton near Cambridge.

139. On one Andrew Leigh, who was vext with a shrewd wife.

140. In quendam.

141. On a vertuous youth.

142. On a Cock-master.

143. On a Mathematician.

144. On a Taylour.

143. On his Mistris Death.

146. On Hobson the Carrier.

147. Another on Hobson.

148. Old Hobsons Epitaph.

149. Vpon Iohn Crop, who dyed by taking a vomit.

150. An honest Epitaph.

151. On a Cobler.

152. On a proud man.

153. On an irefull and angry man.

154. On Iohn Dawson Butler.

155. On Turn-Coat.

156. On a Dyer.

157. On a disagreeing Couple.

158. On a Foot-boy that dyed with overmuch running.

159. On a Scrivener.

160. On Mr. P. Gray.

161. On a Chandler.

162. On a Smith.

163. On a man drown'd in the Snow.

164. On Doctor Hackets wif•.

165. On a beautifull Virgin.

§

§

§

§

166. An ancient Epitaph on Martin Mar-Prelate.

167. Vpon Hodge Pue's Father.

168. On our prime English Poet Geffery Chaucer, an ancient Epitaph.

169. On Mr. Ed•: Spencer, the famous Poet.

170. On Iohn Owen.

171. On Michael Drayton buryed in Westminster.

172. On Mr. Beaumont.

173. On William Shakespeare.

174. On Ben: Iohnson.

175. Another on Ben: I.

176. On Mr. Francis Quarles.

177. On Doctor Donnes death.

176. On Doctor Whaly.

179. On Doctor Bambrigg.

180. On Sir Walter Rawleigh at his Execution.

181. On Sir Horatio Palavozeene.

182. On Sir Francis Drake drowned.

183. Sir Ph. Sidney on himselfe.

184. On Sir Wal•er Rawleigh.

185. On Sir Philip Sidney.

186. On a Learned Nobleman.

187. On the Tombs in Westminster.

188. On Queen Elizabeth.

189. On Queen Anne, who dyed in March, was kept all Aprill, and buried in May.

190 On Prince Henry.

191. On King Iames his death.

192. On the King of Sweden.

§

163. To Death.

FANCIES AND Fantasticks.

§

Aenigma.

Another on the six Cases.

§

A Riddle.

Another.

Another.

§

A doubtfull meaning.

§

These may be read two or three wayes.

These may be read backward or forward.

§

§

A New years Gift.

The Answer.

A Gentleman to his Love.

Her Answer.

His Reply.

To his Mistresse.

Her answer.

On Chloris walking in the Snow.

Vpon Clarinda, begging a lock of her Lovers hair.

§

A Loving Bargain.

A Question.

The Answer.

An incomparable kisse.

To his Mistresse.

The Answer.

To his Mistresse.

Her answer.

Clownish Courtship.

A Comparison.

A Question.

The Answer.

Loves prime.

Another to his Mistresse.

Another.

Another.

Excuse for absence.

To a faire, but unkind Mistresse.

To himselfe.

To some Ladies.

A Heart lost.

The sad Lover.

A Watch sent to a Gentlewoman.

On a Fairing.

[Figure]

With a [Figure] to Julia.

True beauty.

Choyce of a Mistresse.

Wishes to his supposed Mistresse.

To a Lady.

An Eccho.

Fidelius and his silent Mris. Flora.

Fears and Resolves of two Lovers.

A Sonnet.

A Love-sick-sonnet.

A Question.

Answer.

Sighs.

To Celia weeping.

An Hymne to Love.

Loves Discoverys.

Heart-breaking.

A Tear sent his Mistresse.

A Song.

The Cruell Maid.

Silence.

His Misery.

The Call.

A Check to her delay.

The L•re.

To Iulia.

Of Beauty.

Farewell to Love.

To a proud Lady.

On Women.

An Apologetique Song.

Canto.

A Disswasive from Women.

An Answer to it.

The Postscript.

[Figure]

Her supposed servant, described.

Another Ladies exception.

Abroad with the Maids.

[Figure]

Alvar and Anthea.

The Wake.

Enter Maurice-Dancer.

Enter Fidler.

Enter the Taberer.

Enter the Bag-piper.

Cock-throwing.

Canto.

Interrogativ• Camilena.

The seven Planets.

The 12 Signes of the Zodiack.

A Hymne to Bacchus.

[Figure]

Hur in Love.

[Figure]

[Figure]

Pure Nonsence.

A messe of Non-sense.

An Encomium.

The Drunken Humors.

[Figure]

[Figure]

The Good Fellow.

Canto, In the praise of Sack.

The vertue of Sack.

The Answer of Ale to the Challenge of Sack.

The Triumph of Tobacco over Sack and Ale.

A Farewell to Sack.

A fit of Rime against Rime.

A Letany.

[Figure]

Another sings.

To those that would be Gypsies too.

[Figure]

An Invitation to the Reader.

(Heare him thus invite thee home.)

§

[Page]

[Page]

RECREATION FOR Ingenious Head-peeces.

OR, A Pleasant Grove FOR THEIR WITS TO WALK IN.

Of Epigrams, 700.

Of Epitaphs, 200.

Of Fancies, a number.

Of Fantasticks, abundance.

With their Addition, Multiplication, and Division.

Marr.

Non cuique datur habere nasum.

LONDON, Printed by M: Simmons, in Aldersgate-Street. 1654.

§

[Page]

WITT'S RECREATIONS refined Augmented, with Ingenious CONCEITES for the wittie, And Merrie Medicines for the Melancholie.

See the next Page.

Printed by M.S. sould by Edw: Archer in Little Brittain. 1654.

[Page]

[...]

Ad Lectorem.

[Page]

[Page]

THis little Book is like a furnishe Feast;

And hath a dish, I hope, to please each guest.

Here thou may'st find some good and solid fare;

If thou lov'st pleasant junket [...], here they are;

Perhaps sh [...]rp sawces take thee most; if so,

I have Cooke for thee some sharp sawces too;

But if thy squemish stomack can like none,

No body hinders thee, thou may'st be gone.

The Stationer to the Reader.

[Page]

IF new, or old wit, please the Reader best,

I've hope, each man of wit, will be our Guest

The new, was fram'd to humour some mens tast▪

Which if they like not, they may carve the last▪

Each dish hath sawce belongs to't; and you wil [...]

By your dislike, censure the Authors skill;

Yet if you cannot speake well of it, spare

To utter your dislike, that the like snare

May entrap o [...]hers; so the Booke may be

Sold, though not lik'd▪ by a neat fallacie:

That's all I aske, yet 'twill your goodness raise,

If as I gaine your coyne, he may your praise.

EPIGRAMS.

[Page]

1. To the Reader.

EXcuse mee Reader, though I now and than,

In some light lines, doe shew my selfe a man;

Nor be so sowre, some wanton words to blame,

They are the language of an Epigramme.

2. On Battus.

Battus doth brag he hath a world of Books,

His Studies maw holds more then well it may,

But seld' or never, he upon them looks,

And yet he looks upon them every day.

He looks upon their outside, but within

He never looks, nor never will begin.

3. On Prue.

[Page]

Prues nose hangs down so low, one would suppose

When ere she gapes, that Prue would eat her nose.

4. To Gripe.

Gripe keeps his coyn well, and his heaps are great,

For which he seems wise in his own conceit;

Be not deceiv'd Gripe, for ought I can see,

Thy bags in this sense are as wise as thee.

5. On Man and Woman.

When man and Woman dyes, as Poets sung,

His heart's the last that stirs, of hers the tongue.

6. On Womans will.

How dearly doth the honest husband buy

His wives defect of will when she doth dy?

Better in death by will to let her give,

Then let her have her will while she doth live.

7. Spangle the spruce Gal:

Spruce Spangle's like to a Cynamon Tree;

His outside is of much more worth then he.

8. Chaerilus.

[Page]

Eat Toste and Oyle, eat supple herbs and loos,

For thou look'st wondrous costive Chaerilus.

9. In Paulum.

By lawfull Mart, and by unlawfull stealth,

P [...]ulus from th'Ocean hath deriv'd much wealth:

But on the Land, a little gulfe there is,

Wherein he drowneth all that wealth of his.

10. Vestitus peritus.

Clitus goes oft time clad in Suits of Scarlet,

That els no colour had to play the Varlet.

11. Of Poetus.

Poetus with fine Sonnets painted forth

This and that foul Ladies beauties worth:

He shews small wit therein, and for his pains,

By my consent, he never shall reap gain [...];

Why, what needs Poets paint them, O sweet Elves!

When Ladies paint their beauties best themselves.

12. Of Shift the Sharker.

Shift swears he keeps none but good company,

For, though th'are such as he did never see,

Worse then himselfe he's sure they cannot be.

13. On an Vpstart.

[Page]

Pray wrong not (late coyn'd) give the man his right,

He's made a Gentleman although no Knight,

For now 'tis cloaths the Gentleman doth make,

Men from gay cloaths their pedegrees doe take;

But wot you what's the arms to such mens house?

Why this—hands chancing of a Rampant Louse.

14. Volens Nolens.

Will with provisio wills you testifie,

Has made his will, but hath no will to die.

15. Ad Clodium.

Wit, once thou said'st was worth thy weight in gold,

Though now't be common for a trifle sold;

It dearer seems to thee that get'st not any,

(When thou shouldst use it) for thy love or money.

16. In Getam.

Geta from wooll and weaving first began,

Swelling and swelling to a Gentleman;

When he was Gentleman and bravely dight,

He left not swelling till he was a Knight:

[Page]At last (forgetting what he was at first)

He sweld to be a Lord, and then he burst.

17. To Emson.

Emson thou once in Dutch wouldst court a wench,

But to thy cost she answered thee in French.

18. In Fimum.

Fimus is Coach'd, and for his farther grace

Doth a [...]k his friends how he becomes the place;

Troth I should tel him, the poor coach hath wrong

And that a Cart would serve to carry dung.

19. In Flaccum.

The false knave Flaccus once a bribe I gave;

The more fool I, to bribe so false a knave:

But he gave back my bribe, the more fool he,

That for my folly did not cousen me.

20. Of Womens naked breasts.

In open shop [...] flyes often blow that flesh,

Which in close safe [...] might be kept longer fresh.

They but invite flesh-flyes, whose full spread pap [...]

Like road wayes lie between their lips and laps.

21. On Morcho.

[Page]

Morcho for haste was married in the night,

What needed day? his fair young wife is light.

22. On a Bragadocio.

Don Lollus brags, he comes from Noble blood,

Drawn down from Brutus line; 'tis very good,

If this praise-worthy be, each Flea may then,

Boast of his blood more then som Gentlemen.

23. Edens vomens.

Cacus that sups so duly at the Rose,

Casts up the reckning truly ere he goes.

24. On a Pumpe stopt with stones.

M. I'le cut it down, I swear by this same hand,

If 'twill not run, it shall no longer stand.

R. Pray Sir be patient, let your Pump alone,

How can it water make when't hath the stone?

Yet did he wisely when he did it fell.

For in so doing he did make it well.

25. Of Prittle-prattle.

Though th'danger be not great, of all tame cattle,

Yet the most troublesome is Prittle-prattle.

26. In Aulum.

[Page]

Thou still art muttring Aulus in mine ear,

Love me and love my Dog: I will I swear,

Thou ask'st but right; and Aulus, truth to tell,

I think thy Dog deserves my love as well.

27. Ad Tilenum.

Tilens' cause th'art old, fly not the field,

Where youthfull Cupid doth his b [...]nner wield;

For why? this god, old men his Souldiers stil'd;

None loves but he who hath been twice a Child.

28. To Vellius.

Thou swearst I bowl as well as most men doe,

The most are bunglers, therein thou say'st true.

29. Three Genders.

A wife although most wise and chast,

is of the Doubtfull Gender;

A Quean oth' Common: Feminines,

are Women small and tender.

30. Of Brawle.

Brawle loveth brabling, as he loves his life,

Leave him for dead, when he leaves stirring strife.

31. In Paulum.

[Page]

Paul, what my cloak doth hide thou fain wouldst know,

Wer't to be seen I would not cover' [...] so.

32. Of sleep and death.

That death is but a sleep I not deny,

Yet when I next would sleep, I would not dye.

33. Vpon Methusus.

Methusus ask'd me why I call'd him sot,

I answer made, because he lov'd the pot,

For while Methusus busie is with it,

The fool I'm sure's as busie with his wit.

34. On Thraso.

Thraso goes lame with blows he did receive

In a late duell, if you'l him believe.

35. Newes.

When News doth come, if any would discusse

The Letter of the word, resolve it thus:

News is convey'd by letter, word, or mouth,

And comes to us from North, East, West, and South.

36. Of Rufus.

[Page]

Rufus had rob'd his Host, and being put to it,

Said, I am an arrant rogue if I did doe it.

37. Of Marcus.

When Marcus fail'd, a borrowed sum to pay,

Unto his friend at the appointed day;

Twere superstition for a man, he sayes,

To be a strict observer of set dayes.

38. Of a Thief.

A thief arrested, and in custody

Under strong guards of armed company,

Askt why they held him so; Sir, quoth the chief,

We hold you for none other then a thief.

39. Of Motion.

Motion brings heat, and thus we see it prov'd,

Most men are hot and angry when they'r mov'd.

40. Formall the Fashionist.

Formall all form and fashion is, for matter,

Who sayes he sees it in him, doth but flatter;

Open and search him, you shall quickly find

With what course Canvas his soft silks are lin'd.

41. Ad Scriptorem quend.

[Page]

Halfe of your Book is to an Index growne,

You give your Book Contents, your Reader non [...]

42. Riches.

Gold's th'onely God, Rich men bear rule,

Money makes Majesty:

Rich Pluto, not plain Plato now,

Speaks with applause most high.

43. On Sextus.

Sextus doth wish his wife in Heaven were,

Where can she have more happinesse then there?

45. Secreta nobis.

Tassus from Temple-stairs by water goes,

To Westminster, and back to Temple rowes,

Belike he loves not trot too much the street

Or surbait on the stones his tender feet:

Tut! come, there's something in't must not be known

But Sir beleev't, The debt is not his own.

45. Of Text-corruptors.

Bad Commentators spoyle the best of Books,

So God gives meat, (they say) the Devil sends Cook [...] ▪

46. On a Drawer drunk.

[Page]

Drawer with thee now even is thy Wine,

For thou hast pierc'd his Hogs-head, and he thine.

47. Vpon the weights of a Clock.

I wonder time's so swift, when as I see,

Upon her heels, such lumps of lead to be.

48. On Cynna.

Because I am not of a Gyants stature,

Despise me no [...], nor praise thy liberall nature,

For thy huge limbs; that you are great, 'tis true,

And that I'm little in respect of you:

The reason of our growths is eas'ly had,

You, many had perchance; I but one Dad.

49 On Alastrus.

Alastrus hath nor coyn, nor spirit, nor wit.

I think hee's only then for Bedlam [...]it.

50. Of Mendacio.

Mendacio pretends to tell men News:

And that it may be such, himselfe doth use

To make it: but that will no longer need,

Let him tell truth, it will be News indeed.

51. On Landanno.

[Page]

Landanno in his gallant bravery,

Ruffled his Silks, lookt big, and thrust me by:

And still as often as he meets me so,

My home-spun cloth must to the channell go.

Advise thee well Landanno, children note,

And fools admire thee for thy velvet coat:

I keep (Landanno) in repute with such,

As think they cannot scorn poor thee too much.

But thou canst squire fine Madams, thou canst vail

Thy Cap and Feather, cringe, and wag thy tail

Most decently: Now by you stars that shi [...]e,

So thou transcend'st me: Take the wall, 'tis thine.

52. On Shanks.

Shanks swears he fasts; and always cryes for Beef:

O how he fasts! that's how fast eats the Theef!

53. Cito bene.

Sir Iohn at Mattins prayes he might dispatch,

Who by true promise is to bowl a match.

54. Of Pertinax.

It will, it must, it shall be so,

Saith Pertinax; but what's the reason trow?

Nay, that I cannot tell, nor doth he know.

55. To valiant Dammee.

[Page]

Dammee thy brain is valiant, 'tis confest;

Thou more, that with it every day dar'st jest

Thy self into fresh braules; but cal'd upon,

With swearing Damme, answer'st every one.

Keep thy self there, and think thy valour right,

He that dares Damne himself, dares more then fight.

56. On Cornuto.

Cornuto is not jealous of his wife,

Nor e're mistrusts her too lascivious life,

Ask him the reason why he doth forbear,

Hee'l answer straight, it cometh with a fear.

57. On a Shrew.

A froward Shrew being blam'd because she show'd

Not so much reverence as by right she ow'd

Unto her Husband, she reply'd he might

Forbear complaint of me, I do him right;

His will is mine, he would bear rule, and I

Desire the like, onely in sympathy.

58. Of Lawlesse.

Lawlesse the worst times liketh best, why ist?

Because then Lawlesse may doe what he list.

59. A rich Curre.

[Page]

Dru dares good men deprave because hee's rich,

Whether more fool or Knave, I know not which.

60. On a Youth married to an Old Woman.

A smooth-fac'd youth, what wedded to an old

Decrepit Shrew! (such is the power of Gold)

Thy fortune I dare tell; perchance thou'lt have

At Supper dainties, but in B [...]d a grave.

61. On a Fly in a glasse.

A Fly out of his glasse a guest did take,

E're with the liquor he his thirst would slake;

When he had drunk his fill, again the Fly

Into the glasse he put, and said, though I

Love not Flyes in my drink, yet others may,

Whose humour I nor like, nor will gain-say.

62. On Collimus.

If that Collimus any thing doe lend,

Or Dog, or Horse, or Hawk unto his friend,

He to endear the borrowers love the more,

Saith he ne'r [...]ent it any one before,

Nor would to any but to him: His wife

Having observ'd these speeches all her life,

Behinde him forks her fingers, and doth cry,

To none but you, I'de do this courtesie.

63. To Loquax.

[Page]

Loquax, to hold thy tongue would do thee wrong,

For thou wouldst be no man but for thy tongue.

64. Good wits jump.

Against a post a scholler chanc'd to strike

At unawares his head; like will to like:

Good wits will jump (quoth he:) if that be true,

The title of a block-head is his due.

65. On Womens Masks.

It seems that Masks do women much disgrace,

Sith when they wear them they do hide their face.

66. Of Sawcy the Intruder.

Sawcy, though uninvited, is so rude,

As into every comp'ny to intrude;

But he's no fit companion for any,

Who all ways makes the number one too many.

67. Vpon a pair of Tongs.

The burnt child dreads the fire; if this be true,

Who first invented Tongs its fury knew.

68. Lawyers and Souldiers.

If Lawyers had for Term, a tearm of warre,

Souldiers would be as rich as Lawyers are;

[Page]But here's the difference 'tween Guns and Gowns,

These take good Angels, th'other take crack't crowns.

69. On Momus.

Momus can call another fool, but he

Can never make his brain and wit agree.

70. Woman.

A Woman is a Book, and often found

To prove far better in the sheets then bound:

No marvail then, why men take such delight

Above all things to study in the night.

71. Clytus cunning.

Clytus the Barbar doth Occasion fly,

Because 'tis bald, and he gains nought thereby.

72. Rich promises.

Lords promise soon, but to perform are long,

Then would their purse-st [...]ing [...] were ty'd to their tongue.

73. On Comptulus.

I wonder'd Comptulus, how thy long hair,

In comely curles could show so debonair,

And every hair in order be, when as

Thou couldst not trim it by a looking glasse,

[Page]Nor any Barber did thy tresses pleat;

'Tis strange; but Monsieur I conceive the [...]eat

When you your hair doe kemb, you off it take,

And order't as you please for fashion sake.

74. On Gellius.

In building of his house, Gellius hath spent

All his revenues and his ancient rent,

Ask not a reason, why Gellius is poor,

His greater house hath turn'd him out of door.

75. To Ponticus.

At Supper time will Pon [...]u [...] visit me,

I'd rather have his room then company;

But if him, from me I can no ways fright,

I'd have him visit me each fasting night.

76. Balbus.

Balbus a Verse on Venus Boy doth scan,

But ere 'twas finish'd Cupid's grown a man.

77. On a Pot-Poet.

What lofty verses Coelus writes? it is

But when his head with wine oppressed is:

So when great drops of rain fall from the skies

In standing pools, huge bubbles will arise.

78. On Onellus.

Thou never supp'st abroad, Onellus, true,

For at my home I'm sure to meet with you.

79. Of professed Atheists.

[Page]

If even Devils themselves believe and tremble,

Atheists profest methinks should but dissemble.

80. To Termagant.

My Termagant, as I have ought to save,

I neither cal'd thee fool, nor knave:

That which I cal'd thee is a thing well known,

A trifle not worth thinking on:

What I suppose thy self wilt easily grant,

I cal'd thee Cuckold, Termagant.

81. On a Vertuous Talker.

If vertue's alwayes in thy mouth, how can

It e're have time to reach thy heart, fond man?

82. To Severus.

Beleeve Severus, that in these my Rimes

I tax no person but the common Crimes.

83. Vpon Pigs devouring a bed of Penny-royall, commonly called Organs.

A good wife once a bed of Organs set,

The Pigs came in and eat up every whit,

The good man said, wife you your Garden may

Hogs Norton call, here Pigs on Organs play.

84. On Gubs.

[Page]

Gubs calls his children Kitlins: and wo'd bound

(Some say) for joy to see those Kitlins dround.

85. On a Fortune-teller.

The influence of th'Stars are known to thee,

By whom thou canst each future fortune see:

Yet sith thy wife doth thee a Cuckold make,

Tis strange they do not that to thee partake.

86. To sweet sir Ou [...]side.

Th'expence in Odours, is a foolish sin,

Except thou couldst sweeten thy Corps within.

87. On a Gallant.

A glittering Gallant, from a prancing Steed,

Alighting down desir'd a boy with speed

To hold his horse a while, he made reply,

Can one man hold him fast? 'twas answer'd, I:

If then one man can hold him Sir, you may

Doe it your self, quoth he, and slunk away.

88. To Eras-mus.

That thou'art a man each of thy learn'd works shows,

But yet thy name tels us thou wast a Mouse.

89. On Bunce.

Money thou ow'st me; prethee fix a day

For payment promis'd, though thou never pay:

[Page]Let it be Dooms-day; nay, take longer [...]ope;

Nay when th'art honest, let me have some hope.

90. On an empty House.

Lollus by night awak'd heard Theeves about

His house, and searching narrowly throughout

To find some pillage there, he said, you may

By night, but I can find nought here by day.

91. A trim Barber.

Neat Barber trim, I must commend thy care,

Which dost all things exactly to a haire.

92. On a bragging Coward.

Corsus in Camp, when as his Mates betook

Themselves to dine, encourag'd them and spoke,

Have a good stomach Lads, this night we shall

In heaven at Supper keep a festivall.

But battail join'd he fled away in hast,

And said, I had forgot, this night I fast.

93. On a great Nose.

Thy Nose no man can wipe, Proclus, unless

He have a hand as big as Hercules:

When thou dost sneeze the sound thou dost not hear

Thy Nose is so far distant from thine ear.

94. On an unequall pair.

Fair Phillis is to churlish Priscus wed,

As stronger wine with waters mingled;

[Page] Priscus his love to Phillis more doth glow

With fervency then fire; hers cold as snow:

'Tis well, for if their flames alike did burn,

One house would be too hot to serve their turn.

95. In Quintum.

Quintus is burnt, and may thereof be glad,

For being poor he hath a good pretence

At every Church to crave benevolence,

For one that had by fire lost all he had.

96. On a changeable Rayment.

Know you why Lollus changeth every day,

His Perriwig, his face, and his array?

'Tis not because his comings in are much,

Or 'cause hee'l swill it with the roaring Dutch;

But 'cause the Sergeants (who a writ have had

Long since against him) should not know the Lad.

97. On Guesse.

Guesse cuts his shooes, and limping goes about

To have men think he's troubled with the Gou [...],

But 'tis no Gout (beleive it) but hard Beere,

Whose acrimonious humour bites him here.

98. On Stale-Batch.

For all night-sins with other Wives unknown

Batch now doth daily penance in his own.

99. To sir Guilty.

[Page]

Guilty, be wise; and though thou knowst the crime [...]

Be thine I tax; yet do not own my Rimes;

'Twere madnesse in thee to betray thy fame,

And person to the world, ere I thy name.

100. Veritas subverta.

Luke that a man on hor [...]-back met but late,

Would simply seem thus to equivocate,

And strong maintain 'gainst them, contend who dare,

'Twas meerly but a Taylor and a Mare.

101. On Hugh.

Hugh should have gone to Oxford th'other day,

But turn'd at Tiburn, and so lost his way.

102. On a Painted Madam.

Men say y'are fair; and fair ye are, 'tis true,

But (Hark!) we praise the Painter now, not you.

103. On Barossa.

Barossa boasts his pedigree, although

He knows no letter of the Christ-Crosse row,

His house is ancient, and his gentry great,

For what more ancient e're was heard of yet

Then is the family of fools? how than

Dare you not call Barossa Gentleman?

104. Experto credendum.

How durst Capritius call his wedlock whore,

But that he speaks it plusquam per narratum.

[Page] Nam ipse teste: what require you more,

Unlesse you'ld have it magis approbatum?

105. On Iack Cut-purse.

Jack Cut-purse is, and hath been patient long,

For hee's content to pocket up much wrong.

106. On Afer.

Afer hath sold his land and bought a Horse,

Whereon he pranceth to the royall Burse,

To be on hors-back he delights; wilt know?

'Cause then his Company he'd higher show:

But happy chance tall Afer in his pride,

Mounts a Gunnelly and on foot doth ride.

107. On Charismus.

Thou hast compos'd a Book, which neither age,

Nor future time shall hurt through all their rage;

For how can future times or age invade,

That work which perished as soon as made?

108. Facilis descensus averni.

The way to hell is easie, th'other day,

A blind man thither quickly found the way.

109. Age and Youth.

Admire not youth, despise not age, although

Some yong are grave, most old men children grow.

110. On Orus.

[Page]

Orus sold wine, and then tobacco, now

He aqua-vitae doth his friends allow.

What e're he had was sold to save his life,

And now turn'd Pander, he doth sell his wife.

111. On Sneape.

Sneape has a face so brittle, that it breaks

Forth into blushes, whensoere he speaks.

112. On Acerra.

Tobacco hurts the brain Physitians say,

Doth dull the wit, and memory decay,

Yet fear not thou Acerra, for 'twill ne're

Hurt thee so much by use, as by thy feare.

113. Empta nostra.

Madam La Foy wears not those locks for nought,

Ask at the Shop else, where the same she bought.

114. On Briso.

Who private lives, lives well, no wonder then,

You doe absent you from the sight of men,

For out of doors you ne'r by day appear,

What, is a Sergeant such a huge Bug-bear?

115. A Foolish Querie.

How rich a man is, all desire to know;

But none inquires if good he be or no.

116. On the King of Swedens Picture.

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Who but the half of this neat Picture drew,

That it could ne're be fully done, well knew.

117. B. I. answer to a Thief bidding him stand.

Fly Villain hence, or by thy coat of steel,

I'le make thy heart, my brazen bullet feel,

And send that thrice as theevish soule of thine,

To Hell, to wear the Devils Valentine.

118. Thiefs reply.

Art thou great Ben? or the revived ghost

Of famous Shakespeare? or some drunken host?

Who being tipsie with thy muddy Beer,

Dost think thy Rimes shall daunt my soule with fear?

Nay know base Slave, that I am one of those▪

Can take a purse as well in verse as prose;

And when th'art dead write this upon thy Herse,

Here lyes a Poet that was rob'd in Verse.

119. Nothing New.

Nothing is new: we walk were others went;

Th [...]re's no vice now but has his president.

120. On Cupid.

Cupid hath by his sly and subtill Art,

A certain Arrow shot, and pierc'd my heart;

[Page]What shall I doe to be reveng'd on love?

There is but one way, and that one I'le prove;

I'le steale his Arrows, and will head them new

With Womens hearts, and then they'l ne'r fly true.

121 A Tobacconist.

All dainty meats I doe defie▪

Which feed men fat as Swine,

He is a frugall man indeed,

That on a leaf can dine.

Hee needs no Napkin for his hands,

His fingers ends to wipe,

That keeps his Kitchin in a Box,

And Roast-meat in a Pipe.

122. Feeble standing.

Mat being drunken, much his anger wreaks

On's wife; but stands to nothing that he speak [...].

123. Long and Lazie.

That was the Proverb. Let my Mistriss be

Lazie to others; but belong to me.

124. On the Tobaconist.

If mans flesh be like Swines, as it is said,

The Metamorphosis is sooner made:

Then full fac'd Gnatho no Tobacco take,

Smoaking your Corps, lest Bacon you do make.

125. Another.

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Tom I commend thee above all I know,

That sold'st thy cushion for a pipe of To—

For now 'tis like if e're thou study more,

Thou' [...]t sit to't harder then thou didst before.

126. On Button the Grave-maker.

Ye powers above and heavenly poles,

Are graves become but Button-holes?

127. On long haire.

Lucas long hair down to his shoulders wears,

And why? he dares not cut it for his ears.

128. To a stale Lady.

Thy wrinkles are no more, nor lesse,

Then beauty turn'd to sowernesse.

129. A Crab is restorative.

The Crab of the wood

Is sawce very good,

For the Crab of the foaming Sea;

But the wood of a Crab

Is sawce for a drab

That will not her husband obey.

130. Alius altior.

Would you with Cajus offer now confer

In such familiar sort as heretofore?

[Page]And not observe he's grown an Officer,

That looks for adoration ten times more?

Tut! what of pedegree, or turpe domo,

Tis not so now ye see, nam ecce homo.

131. Sor [...]e tua contentas.

If adverse fortune bring to passe,

And will that thou an Asse must be;

Then be an asse, and live an asse,

For out of question wise is he

That undergoes with humble mind,

The state that chance hath him assign'd.

132. On a pretender to Prophecy.

Ninety two years the world as yet shall stand,

If it doe stand or fall at your command;

But say, why plac'd you not the worlds end ny [...]r

L [...]st ere you dy'd you might be prov'd a lyer?

133. Mart. lib. 8. Epigr. 69.

Old Poets onely thou dost praise,

And none but dead ones magnifie,

Pardon Vocerta, thee to please,

I am not yet in mind to die.

134. On a Gamester.

For hundred-thousands Matho playes;

Olus what's that to thee?

[Page]Not thou by means thereof, I trow,

But Matho poor shall be.

135. Parcus profusus.

Old doting Claudus that rich miser known,

Made drunk one night, & jumping but with Ioan,

Was forc't not onely to discharge the shot,

But keep the Bastard which the gull ne'r got.

136. On Fr. Drake.

Sir Drake, whom well the worlds end knew,

Which thou didst compasse round,

And whom both Poles of Heaven once saw,

Which North and South do bound.

The Stars above would make thee known,

If men here silent were;

The Sun himselfe cannot forget,

His fellow Traveller.

137. B. I. approbation of a copy of Verses.

One of the witty sort of Gentlemen,

That held society with learned Ben—

Shew'd him some Verses of a tragick sense;

Which did his ear much curious violence;

But after Ben had been a kind partaker

Of the sad lines, he needs must know the maker;

What unjust man he was, that spent his time,

And banish'd reason to advance his rime:

[Page]Nay gentle Ben, replyes the Gentleman,

I see I must support the Poet than;

Although those humble strains are not so fit

For to please you, hee's held a pretty wit;

Is he held so? (sayes Ben) so may a Goos,

Had I the holding, I would let him loos.

138. Vt pluma persona.

Why wears Laurentius such a lofty feather?

Because he's proud and foolish both together.

139. Gaine and Gettings.

When others gain much by the present cast,

The Coblers getting time, is at the last.

140. Domina praedominatis.

Ill may Radulphus boast of rule or riches,

That lets his wife rule him, and wear the breeches.

141. On Doll.

Doll she so soon began the wanton trade,

She ne'r remembers that she was a maid.

142. To a Nose and Teeth very long.

Gape 'gainst the Sun, and by thy Teeth and Nose

'Tis easie to perceive how the day goes.

143. On a Welshman and an Englishman.

There was a time a difference began,

Between a Welshman and an Englishman,

[Page]And thus it was; the Englishman would stand

Against all Argument, that this our land

Was freest of her fruits: there is a place,

Quoth he, whose ground so fruitfull is of grasse,

But throw a staffe in't but this night, you shall

Not see't the morrow, 'twould be cover'd all.

The Welshman cry'd, 'tis true it might lye under

The o'r-grown grasse, wch is with us no wonder:

For turn your Horse into our fruitfull ground,

And before morning come, he shan't be found.

144. On Pride.

Why Pride to others doth her self prefer,

The reason's clear, she's heir to Lucifer.

145. On Skrew.

Skrew lives by shifts, yet swears by no small oaths,

For all his shifts, he cannot shift his cloaths.

146. O Mores.

Now vertu's hid with follies jugling mist,

And hee's no man that is no humorist.

147. To Teltale.

Thy glowing ears, to hot contention bent,

Are not unlike red Herrings broyl'd [...].

148. Sperando pariens.

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Hodg hir'd him such a house, at such a rent,

As might 'gainst marriage, much his state augment;

But lingring fates did so his hopes prevent,

As Hodg perforce must flye, for all was spent.

149. On a Souldier.

The Souldier fights well, and with good regard,

But when he's lame, he lyes at an ill ward.

150. Vivens mortuis.

What makes young Brutus bear so high his head,

And on the sudden gallant it so brave?

Pray understand Sir; 's Father's newly dead,

Who hath so long been wish'd for laid in's grave.

151. A secret necessity.

What makes F. G. wear still one pair of hose?

Ask Banks the Broker; he the businesse knows.

152. On Garret and Chambers.

Garret and his friend Chambers having done

Their City businesse, walkt to Paddington,

And coming neer the fatall place, where men,

I mean offender [...], ne'r return agen,

Looking on Tyburn in a merriment:

[Page]Sayes Chambers, here's a pretty Tenement

Had it a Garret? Garret hearing that,

Replyes, friend Chambers I doe wonder at

Your simple censure, and could mock you for it,

There must be Chambers e're there be a Garret.

153. Dubium indubitatum.

Say Parnels children prove not one like th'other;

The best is yet, she's sure they'd both one Mother.

154. On Linnit.

Linnit plays rarely on the Lu [...]e, we know;

And sweetly sings, but yet his breath sayes no.

155. On Vsuring Gripe.

Gripe feels no lameness of his knotty Gout,

His moneys travell for him in and out.

And though the soundest legs goe every day,

He toyls to be at Hell as soon as they.

156. A phrase in Poetry.

Fairer then that word faire, why so she must,

Or be as black as Timothies toasted crust.

157. A Witt-all.

Ieppa thy wit will ne'r endure a touch,

Thou knowst so little, and dost speak so much

158. Ad Lectorem.

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Is't possible that thou my Book hast bought,

That said'st 'twas nothing worth? why was it nought?

Read it agen, perhaps thy wit was dull,

Thou may'st find something at the second pull:

Indeed at first thou nought didst understand;

For shame get something at the second hand.

159. On Skinns.

Skinns he din'd well to day; how doe you think?

His nayles they were his meat, his reume the drink?

160. Suum cuique pulchrum.

Posthumus not the last of many more,

Asks why I write in such an idle vain,

Seeing there are of Epigrams such store;

O give me leave to tell thee once again,

That Epigrams are fitted to the season,

Of such as best know how to make rime reason.

161. Certa dissimulans.

Monsieur Piero's wise trades all in French,

And coyly simpring cryes, Pardona moy:

As who should think, she's sure no common wench

But a most true dissembler, par may foy.

162. In magnis voluisse sat est.

[Page]

In matters great to will it doth suffice:

I blush to hear how loud this Proverb lyes,

For they that owe great sums by bond or bill,

Can never cancell them with meer good will.

163. As proud as witlesse Dracus.

Dracus his head is highly by him born.

And so by straws are empty heads of corn.

164. Saltem videretur.

A Welshman and an Englishman disputed,

Which of their lands maintain'd the greatest state;

The Englishman the Welshman quite confuted,

Yet would the Welshman nought his brags abate,

Ten cooks, quoth he, in Wales one wedding fees,

Truth, quoth the other, each man tosts his cheese.

165. Knowing and not knowing.

Cosmus by custome taunts each man,

And yet can nought of reason scan,

How can that be, when who knows least,

Knows he should wise be, that would jest:

Then thus no further I allow,

That Cosmus know [...], but knows not how.

166. Stupid Binus.

[Page]

Sith time flyes fast away, his safest flight,

Binus prevents with dreaming day and night.

167. Postrema pessima.

Cacus in's cunning ne'r so prov'd o'r-reacht

As now at last, who must be halter-stretcht▪

168. On his Mistris.

My Love and I for kisses play'd,

She would keep stakes, I was content,

And when I won she would be paid;

This made me ask her what she meant,

Saith she, since you are in this wrangling vain,

Take you your kisses, and give me mine again.

169. On a proud Maid.

She that will eat her breakfast in her bed,

And spend the morn in dressing of her head,

And sit at dinner like a Maiden-bride,

And talk of nothing all d [...] but of pride;

God in mercy may doe much to save her,

But what a case is he in that shall have her?

170. Tempus edax rerum.

Time eateth all things, could the Po [...]ts say,

The times are chang'd, our times drink all away.

171. Facies ignota.

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Why should not Rubin rich apparell wear,

That's left more money then an Asse can bear?

Can any guesse him by his outward guise,

But that he may be generous and wise?

172. On a coy Woman.

She seems not won, yet won she is at length;

In loves war, women use but half their strength.

173. On Bed-keeping.

Bradus the Smith hath often sworn and sed,

That no disease should make him keep his bed,

His reason was, I oft have heard him tell it,

He wanted money, therefore he would sell it.

174. On a man stealing a Candle from a Lanthorn.

One walking in the street a winter night,

Climb'd to a Lanthorn, thought t' [...]ave stole the light,

But taken in the manner and descri'd

By one o'th'servants, who look'd & cry'd,

Whose there: what d'you? who doth our lanthorn handle?

Nothing, said he, but onely snuffe the Candle.

175. On Fraternus.

Fraternus' opinions show his reason weak,

He held the nose was made for man to speak.

176. Little and Loud.

[Page]

Little you are; for womens sake be proud;

For my sake next, (though little) be not loud.

177. On a French Fencer, that challenged Church an English Fencer.

The fencing Gaules in pride and gallant vaunt,

Challeng'd the English at the Fencing skill,

The Fencer Church, or the Church Militant,

His errors still reprov'd and knock'd him still;

But sith our Church him disciplin'd so sore,

He (rank Recusant) comes to Church no more.

178. On Gella.

Gella is light, and like a Candle wasteth,

Even to the snuffe, that stinketh more it lasteth.

179. On I. Lipsius who bequeathed his Gown to the V. Mary.

A dying Latinist of great renown,

Unto the Virgin Mary gave his Gown;

And was not this false Latine so to joyn

With female gender, the case masculine?

180. On two striving together.

Two falling out, into a ditch they fell,

Their falling out, was ill; but in was well.

181. A Lawyers Will.

[Page]

A Lawyer being sick and extream ill,

Was moved by his friends to make his wil,

Which soon he did, gave all the wealth he had

To frantick persons, lunatick, and mad;

And to his friends this reason did reveale;

(That they might see, with equity hee'd deal)

From mad mens hands I did my wealth receive,

Therefore that wealth to mad mens hands I leave.

182. Youth and Age.

Age is deformed, Youth unkind,

We scorn their bodies, they our mind.

183. Somnus decipiens.

Dod sweetly dreamt this other night had found

In gold and silver ne'r an hundred pound,

But waking felt he was with Fleas sore bitten,

And further smelt he had his shirt be—

184. To a Shoomaker.

What boots it thee, to follow such a trade,

That's alwayes under foot and underlaid?

185. Death.

The lives of men seem in two seas to swim,

Death comes to young folks, and old go to him.

186. Quos ergo, &c.

[Page]

Rufus in rage the Pots flings down the stairs,

And threats to pull the Drawer by the ears,

For giving such attendance: Slave (sayes he)

Where's thine observance? Ha! must such as we

Be no more waited on? Goe; bring to pay,

And keep my Rapier till I come this way.

187. A disparity.

Children fondly blab truth,

and fools their brothers;

Women have learn'd more wisdome

of their Mothers.

188. To Maledict.

Thou speakest ill, not to give men their dues,

But speakest ill, because thou canst not chuse.

189. On Newter Ned.

Newter convict of publick wrongs to men,

Takes private beatings, and begins agen;

Two kinds of valour he doth shew at once,

Active in's brains, and passive in his bones.

190. Interpone tuis, &c.

Not mirth, nor care alone, but inter-wreath'd;

Care gets mirths stomach, mirth makes care long breath'd.

191. Ignotus sibi.

[Page]

Fastidius finds it Nimis ultra posse,

How to distinguish of Teipsum nosce:

I doe not marvell much it should be so,

For why the Coxcomb, will himselfe not know.

192. On Craw.

Craw cracks in Sirrop; and do's stinking say,

Who can hold that (my friends) that will away.

193. Pot Poet.

Poet and pot differ but in a letter,

Which makes the Poet love the pot the better.

194. Content.

Content is all we aim at with our store?

If that be had with little, what needs more?

195. Fast and Loose.

Paphus was marry'd all in hast,

And now to rack doth run;

So knitting of himself too fast,

He hath himselfe undone.

196. Tortus.

Tortus accus'd to lye, to fawn, to flatter;

Said he but set a good face on the matter;

[Page]Then sure he borrow'd it, for 'tis well known,

Tortus ne're wore a good face of his own.

197. On Raspe.

Raspe playes at Nine-holes, and 'tis known he get [...]

Many a Teaster by his game, and bet [...];

But of his gettings there's but little signe,

When one hole wasts more then he gets by nine.

198. Impar impares odit.

Sotus hates wise men, for himselfe is none,

And fools he hates, because himself is one.

199. Similis doctrina libello.

Croesus of all things loveth not to buy

So many Books of such diversity:

Your Almanack (sayes he) yeelds all the sence

Of time's past, profit, and experience.

200. On Tullus.

Tullus who was a Taylor by profession,

Is late turn'd Lawyer, and of large possession.

So who before did cut but Countrey freeze,

Now cuts the Countrey in excessive fees.

201. Vt parta perdita.

Marcellus proves a man of double means,

First rais'd by drunkards, then undone by queans.

202. On Iack and Iill.

[Page]

Since Iack and Iill both wicked be;

It seems a wonder unto me,

That they no better doe agree.

203. On Women.

Woman's the centre, and the lines be men,

The circles, love; how doe they differ then?

Circles draw many lines into the center,

But love gives leave to onely one to enter.

204. On Womans love.

A womans love is like a Syrian flow'r,

That buds, and spreads, and withers in an hour.

205. On Cooke a Cuckold.

A young Cook marry'd upon Sunday last,

And he grew old e'r Tuesday night was past.

206. Nomine, non re.

Grace I confesse it, hath a comely face,

Good hand and foot as answerable to it:

But what's all this except she had more grace?

Oh you will say, 'tis want that makes her do it.

True, want of grace indeed, the more her shame:

Gracelesse by Nature, onely Grace by Name.

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207. A Mounsieur Naso, vero le.

[Page]

Naso let none drink in his glasse but hee,

Think you 'tis pride? 'tis courtesie.

208. A Butcher marrying a Tanners daughter.

A fitter match then this could not have bin,

For now the flesh is married to the skin.

209. A Widow.

He which for's wife a widow doth obtain,

Doth like to those that buy clothes in Long-lane,

One Coat's not fit, another's too too old,

Their faults I know not, but th'are manifold.

110. On a Farmer Knighted.

In my conceit Sir Iohn, you were to blame,

To make a quiet good-wife, a mad-dame.

211. On Pallas and Bacchus Birth.

Pallas the off-spring of Ioves brain,

Bacchus out of his thigh was ta'en:

He breaks his brain that learning wins,

When he that's drunk breaks but his shin [...].

212. On an old man doting upon a young Wench.

A rich old man loving a fair young Lasse,

Out of his breeches his spectacles drew,

[Page]Wherewith he writ a note how rich he was;

All which (quoth he) sweet heart I'l give to you.

Excuse me Sir (quoth she) for all your riches,

I'l marry none that wears his eyes in's breeches.

213. On a Welshman.

The way to make a Welshman think on blisse,

And daily say his prayers on his knees,

Is to perswade him, that most certain 'tis,

The Moon is made of nothing but green Cheese;

Then he'l desire of Iove no greater boon,

Then to be plac'd in Heaven to eat the Moon.

214. On Lungs.

Lungs (as some say) ne'r sets him down to eat,

But that his breath doth fly-blow all his meat.

215. Ad Quintum.

Thy lawfull wife, fair Lelia needs must be,

For she was forc'd by law to marry thee.

216. As many dayes in the year, so many Veins in man.

That every thing we doe, might vain appear,

We have a vein for each day in the year.

217. To a friend, on the losse of his Mistresse.

I [...] thou the best of women didst forgo,

Weigh if thou found'st her, or didst make her so:

[Page]If she was found, know there is more then one;

If made, the workman lives though she be gone▪

218. On a Whore.

Rosa is faire, but not a proper woman;

Can any woman proper be that's common?

219. Aequalis consensus.

Caecus and's choyce, for change no time defers,

Both separate, yet consenting each together,

He maids for his turn takes, she men for hers,

And so they jump, though seldome joyn together▪

220. On a Welshman

A Welshman late coming into an Inne,

Asked the Maid what meat there was within;

Cow-heels she answer'd, and a brest of Mutton;

But quoth the Welshman, since I am no glutton;

Either of both shall serve; to night the brest,

The heels i'th morning, then light meat is best;

At night he took the brest, and did not pay,

I'th morning took his heels, and run away.

221. On Men and Women.

Ill thrives that haplesse family that shows

A Cock that's silent, and a Hen that crows:

I know not which lives more unnaturall lives,

Obeying Husbands, or commanding Wives.

222. On Linus.

[Page]

Linus told me of Verses that he made,

Riding to London on a trotting Jade;

I should have known, had he conceal'd the case,

Even by his Verses of his Horses pace.

223. Sauce for sorrowes.

Although our sufferings meet with no reliefe,

An equall mind is the best sauce for griefe.

224. On a little dimunitive Band.

What is the reason of God-dam-me's band,

Inch-deep, and that his fashion doth not alter?

God-dam-me saves a labour, understand,

In pulling't off when he puts on the halter.

225. On fine apparrell.

Some that their wives may neat and cleanly go,

Doe all their substance upon them bestow:

But who a Gold-finch, fain would make his wife,

Makes her perhaps a Wag-tail all her life.

226. Vpon Conscience.

Many men this present age dispraise,

And think men have small conscience now adays;

But sure, I'l lay no such fault to their charge,

I rather think their conscience is too large.

227. Dicta praedicta.

[Page]

Battus breaks jests on any thing that's spoken,

Provided alwayes, they before are broken.

228. On Vmber.

Vmber was painting of a Lyon fierce,

And working it, by chance from Vmbers Erse

Flew out a crack, so mighty, that the fart,

(As Vmber swears) did make his Lyon start.

229. In Cornutum.

Cornutus cal'd his wife both whore and slut,

Quoth she, you'l never your brawling but—

But what quoth he? quoth she, the post or door,

For you have horns to butt, if I'm a whore.

230. A witty passage.

An old man sitting at a Christmasse feast,

By eating Brawn occasioned a jest;

For whilst his tongue and gums chased about,

For want of pales the chased Bore broke out;

And light perchance upon a handsome lasse,

That neer him at the Table placed was;

Which when she spy'd, she pluck'd out of her sleeve

A pin, and did it to the old man give;

Saying, sith your Brawn out of your mouth doth slip,

Sir take this pin, and therewith close your lip;

[Page]And bursting into laughter, strain'd so much,

As with that strain her back-part spake low-dutch

Which th'old man hearing, did the pin restore;

And bad her therewith close her postern door.

231. On Cob.

Cob clouts his shooes, and as the story tels,

His thumb-nayles par'd afford him sparables.

232. Omnia pariter.

Ralph reads a line or two, and then cryes mew;

Deeming all else according to those few;

Thou might'st have thought and prov'd a wiser Lad;

(As Ioan her fooding bought) som good som bad.

233. A new married Bride.

The first of all our sex came from the side of Man,

I thither am return'd from whence I came.

234. On a Pudding.

The end of all, and in the end,

the praise of all depends.

A Pudding merits double praise,

because it hath two ends.

235. Answer.

A pudding hath two ends; you lye my brother

For it begins at one, and ends at th'other.

236. Si nihil attuloris, ibis, &c.

[Page]

Planus, an honest Swaine, but moneylesse,

Besought a Lawyer to be good unto him,

Who either (gratis) must his cause redresse,

Or promise what he never meant to doe him.

Being asked why he carelesse lingred it?

Made this reply, Ex nihilo nihil sit.

237. On Maids.

Most Maids resemble Eve now in their lives,

Who are no sooner women, then th'are wives;

As Eve knew no man, e'r fruit wrought her wo;

So these have fruit oft e'r their husbands know.

238. Vt cecidit surgit.

Now Martha married is, shee'l brave it out,

Though ne'r so needy known to all about;

And reason good, she rise once in her life,

That fell so oft before she was a wife.

239. On a man whose choyce was to be hang'd or married.

M. Lo here's the Bride, and there's the Tree,

Take which of these best liketh thee.

R. The choyce is bad on either part,

The woman's worst, drive on the Cart.

240. Women.

[Page]

Were women as little as they are good;

A Pescod would make them a gown and a hood.

241. On a Louse.

A Louse no reason hath to deal so ill,

With them of whom she hath so much her will;

She hath no tongue to speak ought in their praise,

But to backbite them finds a tongue alwayes.

242. A Courtier and a Scholler meeting.

A Courtier proud walking along the street,

Hap'ned by chance a Scholler for to meet:

The Courtier said (minding nought more then place,

Unto the Scholler (meeting face to face)

To take the wall, base men I'l not permit;

The Scholler said, I will; and gave him it.

243. Cede majoribus.

I took the wall, one rudely thrust me by,

And told me the High-way did openly,

I thank'd him that he would me so much grace,

To take the worse and leave the better place;

For if by owners we esteem of things,

The wall's the Subject [...], but the way the Kings.

244. On Betty.

Sound teeth has Betty, pure as pearle and small,

With mellow lips, and luscious therewithall.

245. A rule for Courtiers.

[Page]

He that will thrive in Court, must oft become,

Against his will, both blind, and deaf, and dumb [...]

246. Why women wear a fall.

A question 'tis, why women wear a fall;

The truth it is, to pride they're given all,

And pride, the Proverb sayes, will have a fall.

247. For as expertus.

Priscus hath been a traveller, for why?

He will so strangely swagger, swear and ly.

248. To a painted Whore.

Whosoever saith thou sellest all, doth jest,

Thou buy'st thy beauty, that sells all the rest.

249. Detur quod meritum.

A Courtier kind in speech, curst in condition,

Finding his faults could be no longer hidden,

Came to his friend to clear his bad suspition,

And fearing least he should be more then chidden▪

Fell to flatt'ring and most base submission,

Vowing to kisse his foot if he were bidden.

My foot said he? nay that were too submisse;

You three foot higher, well deserve to kisse.

250. Non lubens loquitur.

[Page]

Gluto, at meals is never heard to talk,

For which the more his chaps and chin do walk,

When every one that sits about the bord,

Makes sport to ask, what Gluto, ne'r a word?

He forc'd to answer being very loath,

I [...] almost choak'd, speaking and eating both.

251. On Philos.

If Philos, none but those are dead, doe praise,

I would I might displease him all his dayes.

252. The promise-breaker.

Ventus doth promise much, but still doth break,

So all his promises are great and weak:

Like bubbles in the water (round and light)

Swelling so great, that they are broke out-right,

253. Change.

What now we like, anon we disapprove;

The new successor drives away old love.

254. On a passing Bell.

This dolefull musick of impartiall death,

Who danceth after, danceth out of breath.

255. Nummos & demona jungit▪

Bat bids you swell with envy till you burst,

So he be rich, and may his coffers fill,

[Page]Bringing th'example of the Fox that's curst

And threatning folks who have least power to kill [...]

For why 'tis known, his trade can never fall,

That hath already got the Devill and all.

256. Nil gratum ratione carens.

Paulus a Pamphlet doth in prose present

Unto his Lord (the fruits of idle time)

Who far more carelesse, then therewith content,

Wisheth it were converted into rime:

Which done, and brought him at another season,

Said: now 'tis rime, before nor rime nor reason.

257. Non cessat perdere lusor.

Ask Ficus how his luck at dicing goes:

Like to the tide (quoth he) it ebbes and flows,

Then I suppose his chance cannot be good,

For all men know 'tis longer ebbe than flood.

258. Womens policy.

To weep oft, still to flatter, sometime spin,

Are properties women excell men in.

259. Volucrem sic decipit auceps.

Hidrus the Horse-courser (that cunning mate)

Doth with the buyers thus equivocate;

Claps on his hand, and prays he may not thrive,

If that his gelding be not under five. ☞

260. Perdat qui caveat emptor.

[Page]

Nor lesse meant Promus when that vow he made

Then to give o'r his cousening Tapsters trade,

Who check'd for short and frothy measure, swore

He never would from henceforth fill pot more.

261. On Death.

How base hath sin made man, to fear a thing

Which men call Mors? wch yet hath lost all sting,

And is but a privation as we know,

Nay is no word if we exempt the O:

Then let good men the fear of it defie,

All is but O, when they shall come to dye.

262. To Mr. Ben Iohnson, demanding the reason why he call'd his playes works.

Pray tell me Ben. where doth the mystery lurk,

What others call a play, you call a work.

263. Thus answer'd by a friend in Ben Iohnsons defence.

The Authors friend thus for the Author sayes,

Bens plays are works, when others works are plays.

264. On Crambo a lowsie shifter.

By want of shift, since Lice at first are bred,

And after by the same increast and fed;

Crambo I muse how you have Lice so many,

Since all men know, you shift as much as any.

265. Ad Aristarchum.

[Page]

Be not agriev'd, my humorous line [...] afford

Of looser language here and there a word:

Who undertakes to sweep a common sink,

I cannot blame him, though his broom do stink.

266. In Aulum.

Aulus gives naught, men say, though much he crave

Yet I can tell to whom the Pox he gave.

267. On covetous persons.

Patrons are Latrons, then by this

Th'are worst of greedy people,

Whose cognizance a Wolfs head is,

And in his mouth a steeple.

268. On a Dyer.

Who hath time hath life, that he denies,

This man hath both, yet still he dies.

269. Non verbera, sed verba.

Two Schollars late appointed for the field;

Must, which was weakest to the other yield;

The quarrell first began about a word,

Which now should be decided by the sword:

But e'r they drew, there fell that alteration,

As they grew friends again by disputation.

270. Love and Liberty.

[Page]

[...]ove he that will; it b [...]st likes mee

[...]o have my neck from loves yoke free.

271 To a neat reader.

[...]hou say'st my verses are rude, ragged, ruffe,

[...]ot like some others rimes, smooth dainty stuffe [...]

[...]pigrams are like Satyrs, rough without,

[...]ike Chesnuts sweet, take thou the kernell out.

272. Of Letting.

[...]n bed a young man with his old wife lay▪

O wife, quoth he, I've let a thing to day,

By which I fear, I am a loser much:

His wife replyes, youths bargains still are such;

So turning from him angry at her heart,

She unawares let out a thundring—

O wife, quoth hee, no loser am I now,

A marv'lous saver I am made by you;

Young men that old wives have may never sell;

Because old wives, quoth hee, let things so well,

273. Sublata causa &c.

Why studies Silvester no more the lawes,

'Tis thought Duck-lane has tane away the cause.

274. Sapiat qui dives, oportet.

[Page]

'Tis known how well I live, sayes Romeo,

And whom I list, I'le love, or will despise:

Indeed it's reason good it should be so:

For they that wealthy are, must needs be wise:

But this were ill, if so it come to passe,

That for your wealth you must be beg'd an [...]

275. In Dossum.

Dosse riding forth, the wind was very big,

And strained court' [...]ie with his Perriwig,

Leaving his sconce behind so voyd of haire,

As Esops Crow might break her Oyster there;

Fool he to think his hair could tarry fast,

When Boreas tears forrests with a blast.

276. Post dulcia, finis amarus.

Ienkin a Welshman that had suits in Law,

Journying to London, chanc'd to steal a Cow;

For which (pox on her luck as ne'r mon saw)

Was burnt within the fist and know not how:

Being ask'd if well the Lawes with him did stand▪

Hur have hur now (quoth Ienkin) in hur hand.

277. Feminae Iudificantur viros.

Kind Katharine to her Husband kis [...] these words,

Mine own sweet Will, how dearly doe I love thee▪

[Page]If true (quoth VVill) the world no such affords.

And that it's true, I durst his warrant bee;

For ne'r heard I of woman good or ill,

But alwayes loved best, her owne sweete will.

278. Ad Tusserum.

Tusser, They tell me when thou wert alive,

Thou teaching thrift, thy self couldst never thrive;

So like the wh [...]stone many men are wont

To sharpen others when themselves are blunt.

229. Praestat videri quam esse.

Clitus with clients is well customed,

That hath the Lawes but little studied;

No matter Clitus, so they bring their fees,

How ill the case and thy advice agrees.

280. Tunc [...]ua res agitur.

A jealous Marchant that a Sailor me [...],

Ask'd him the reason why he meant to marry,

Knowing what ill their absence might beget,

That still at Sea, constrained are to tarry?

Sir (quoth the saylor) think you that so strange?

'Tis done the time whiles you but walke th'exchange.

281. On Skoles.

[Page]

Skoles stinks so deadly, that his breeches loath

His dampish but tocks furthermore to cloth:

Cloyd they are up with Arse; but hope, and blast

Will whirle about, and blow them thence at last.

282. A Conference.

A Dane, a Spaniard, a Polonian,

My self a Swisse, with an Hungarian,

At supper met, discoursed each with other,

Drank, laught, yet none that understood another.

283. In Marcum.

Marcus is not an hypocrite, and why?

He flyes all good, to fly hypocrisy.

284. Quod non verba suadeant?

Sextus halfe sav'd his credit with a jest,

That at a reckoning this devise had got,

When he should come to draw amongst the rest,

And saw each man had coyn, himself had not;

His empty pocket feels, and 'gins to say,

In sadnesse Sirs, here's not a crosse to pay.

285. Stupid Binus.

Sith time flyes fast away, his safest flight

Binus prevents with dreaming day and night.

286. In divites.

[Page]

Rich men their wealth as Children Rattles keep,

When play'd a while with't then they fall asleep.

287. In Fannium.

What fury's this? his foe whilst Fannius flyes,

He kils himself, for fear of death he dyes.

288. On a vaunting Poetaster.

Cecilius boasts his Verses worthy be

To be ingraven on a Cypresse tree;

A Cypresse wreath befits them well, 'tis true;

For they are near their death and crave but due.

289. In divites iracundo [...].

Rich friends 'gainst poor to anger still are prone:

It is not well but profitably done.

290. Durum telum necessitas.

Coquus with hunger pennilesse constrain'd

To call for meat and wine three shillings cost,

Had suddenly this project entertain'd,

In stead of what's to pay, to call mine host;

Who being come entreateth him discusse,

What price the Law alots for shedding blood:

Whereto mine Host directly answers thus;

'Twas alwayes forty pence he understood:

[Page]So then, quoth Coquus, to requite your pains,

Pray break my head, and give me what remains▪

291. To an upstart.

Thy old friends thou forgotst having got wealth▪

No marvaile, for thou hast forgot thy selfe.

292. Ambition.

In wayes to greatnesse, think on this,

That slippery all Ambition is.

293. Suum cuiq [...]e.

A strange contention being lately had,

Which kind of Musick was the sweet'st and best,

Some praise the sprightly sound, and some the sad

Some lik't the Viols; and among the rest,

Some in the Bag-pipes commendation spoke,

Quoth one stood by, give me a pipe of smoke.

294. In Prodigum.

Each age of men new fashions doth invent;

Things which are old, young men do not esteem▪

What pleasd our Fathers, doth not us content:

What flourish'd then, we out of fashion deem:

And that's the cause as I doe understand,

Why Prodigus did sell his Fathers Land.

295. In Medicum.

[Page]

When Mingo cryes, how do you sir? 'tis thought

He Patients wanteth; and his practice's naught:

Wherefore of late, now every one he meeteth,

With [I am glad to see you well] he greeteth:

But who'l believe him now, when all can tell,

The world goes ill with him, when all are well?

296. On Zelot.

Is Zelot pure? he is: yee see he wears

The signe of Circumcision in his ears.

297. Crispati crines plumae dant calcar amori.

Why is young Annas thus with feathers dight?

And on his shoulder wears a dangling lock?

The one foretels hee'l sooner fly then fight,

The other shows hee's wrapt in's mothers smock.

But wherefore wears he such a jingling spur?

O know, he deals with Jades that will not stir.

298. On Boung-Bob.

Bob, thou, nor souldier, theef, nor fencer art,

Yet by thy weapon liv'st, th'hast one good part,

299. On Glaucus.

Glaucus a man, a womans hair doth wear,

But yet he wears the same comb'd out behind:

[Page]So men the wallet of their faults doe bear,

For if before him, he that fault should find:

I think foul shame would his faire face invade,

To see a man so like a woman made.

300. On Crab.

Crab faces gowns with sundry Furres; 'tis know [...] ▪

He keeps the Fox-furre for to face his own.

301. Dolo intimus.

Nor Hauk, nor Hound, nor Hors, those letters hhh ▪

But ach it self, 'tis Brutus bones attaches.

302. Of Batardus.

Batardus needs would know his Horoscope,

To see if he were born to scape the rope:

The Magus said, ere thou mine answer have,

I must the name of both thy parents crave:

That said, Batardus could not speak but spit;

For on his fathers name he could not hit:

And out of doors at last he stept with shame,

To ask his mother for his fathers name.

303. Consuetudo lex.

Two wooers for a wench were each at strife,

Which should enjoy her to his wedded wife,

Quoth th'one, she's mine, because I first her saw;

She's mine, quoth th'other, by Pye-corner law [...]

[Page]Where sticking once a prick on what you buy,

It's then your own, which no man must deny.

304. On Womens deniall.

Women, although they ne're so goodly make it,

Their fashion is but to say no, and take it.

305. In Battum.

Battus affirm'd no Poet ever writ,

Before that love inspir'd his dull-head wit:

And that himself in love had wit no more,

Then one stark mad, though somwhat wise before.

306. On Marriage.

Wedding and hanging the Destinies dispatch,

But hanging seems to some the better match.

307. Vidua aurata.

Gallus hath got a widow wondrous old,

The reason is he woo'd her for her gold:

Knowing her Maids are young and serve for hire,

Which is as much as Gallus doth desire.

308. In Dol praegnantem.

Dol learning Propria quae maribus without Book,

Like Nomen crescent is genitivo doth look.

309. Timidos fortuna repellit.

When Miles the Serving-man my Lady kist,

She knew him not (though scarcely could resist)

[Page]For this (quoth he) my Master bid me say; —

How's that (quoth she) and frowning flings away:

Vext to the heart, she took her mark amisse,

And that she should a serving creature kisse.

Why thus it is when fools must make it known,

They come on others businesse, not their own.

310. Against a certain —

For mad-men Bedlam, Bridewell for a Knave,

Choose whether of those two th'adst rather have.

311. Loves progresse.

Loves first approach, delights sweet song doth sing:

But in departure, she woes sting doth bring.

312. On old Scylla.

Scylla is toothlesse, yet, when she was young,

She had both teeth enough, and too much tongue.

What shall I then of toothlesse Scylla say,

But that her tongue hath worn her teeth away?

313. On Gallants cloaks.

Without, plain cloaks; within, plush't: but I doubt

The wearer's worst within, and best without.

314. On Banks the Vserer.

Banks feels no lamenesse on his knotty Gout,

His money travels for him in and out:

[Page] [...]nd though the soundest legs goe every day,

[...]e toils to be a [...] Hell as soon as they.

315. Pecunia praevalens.

[...]ell Tom of Plato's worth or Aristotles;

[...]ang't, give him wealth enough; let wit stop bottles.

316. On the same.

[...]om vow'd to beat his boy against the wall,

[...]nd as he struck he forthwith caught a fall:

[...]he boy deriding, said, I doe aver,

[...]'have done a thing, you cannot stand to sir.

317. On Debt.

To be indebted is a shame men say,

Then 'tis confessing of a shame to pay.

318. A forsworn Maid.

[...]osa being false and perjur'd, once a friend

[...]id me contented be, and mark her end:

But yet I care not, let my friend goe fiddle;

[...]et him mark her end, I'l mark her middle.

319. Adversity.

[...]ove is maintain'd by wealth, when all is spent,

Adversity then breeds the discontent.

320. On Soranzo.

Soranzo's broad-brim hat I oft compare

To the vast compasse of the heavenly sphere:

[Page]His head, the Earth's glo [...], fixed under it;

Whose center is, his wondrous little wit.

321. To a great Guest.

With other Friends I bid you to my Feast,

Though coming late, yet are you not the least.

322. In Cottam.

Cotta when he hath din'd saith, God be praisd,

Yet never praiseth God for meat or drink:

Sith Cotta speaketh, and not practiseth,

He speaketh surely what he doth not think.

323. De Corde & Lingua.

The tongue was once a Servant to the heart,

And what it gave she freely did impart:

But now hypocrisie is grown so strong,

She makes the heart a servant to the tongue.

324. On Rumpe.

Rump is a Turn-spit, yet he seldome can

Steale a swolne sop out of the dripping-pan.

325. On Poverty.

If thou be poor, thou shalt be ever so,

None now do wealth, but on the rich bestow.

326. In Ebriosum.

Fie man (saith she) but I tell Mistrisse Anne,

Her drunken Husband is no drunken man.

[Page]For those wits which are overcome with drink,

Are voyd of reason, and are Beasts I think.

327. Wills error.

Will sayes his wife's so fat, she scarce can go,

But she as nimbly answers, Faith Si [...] no:

Alas good Will, thou art mistaken quite,

For all men know, that she is wondrous light.

328. On Rome.

Hate and debate, Rome through the world hath spread,

Yet Roma, amor is, if backward read:

Then is't not strange, Rome hate should foster? no,

For out of backward love all hate doth grow.

329. On Tuck.

At Post and Paire, or Slam, Tom Tuck would play

This Christmasse, but his want therewith, says nay.

330. Some thing no savour.

All things have savour, though some but small;

Nay, a box on th'eare, hath no smell at all.

331. Art, Fortune, and Ignorance.

When Fortune fell asleep, and hate did blind her,

Art, Fortune lost; and Ignorance did find her:

Sith when, dull Ignorance with Fortunes store,

Hath been inrich'd, and Art hath still been poor.

332. On Bibens.

[Page]

Bibens to shew his liberality,

Made Lusus drunk; (a noble quality,

And much esteem'd) which Bibens faln would pro [...]

To be the signe of his familiar love:

Lusus beware, thou'lt finde him in the end,

Familiar Devil, no familiar friend.

333. On Tobacco.

Things which are common, common men do us [...]

The better shrt doe common things refuse:

Yet Countries-cloth-breech, & Court-velvet-hose

Puffe both alike Tobacco through the nose.

334. On Cupid.

Cupid no wonder was not cloth'd of old,

For love though naked, seldome e'r is cold.

335. On Ebrio.

See where Don Ebrio, like a Dutchman goes,

Yet drunk with English Ale, one would suppose

That he would shoulder down each door & wall,

But they must stand, or he, poor fool must fall.

336. On Love.

Love hath two divers wings, as lovers say:

Thou following him, with one he flyes away;

[Page]With th'other, if thou fly he follows thee:

Therefore the Last, Love, onely use for me.

337. On the same.

Love, as 'tis said, doth work with such strange tools,

That he can make fools wise-men, wise-men fools,

Then happy I, for being nor fool, nor wise,

Love with his toyes and tools I shall despise.

338. On a Woman.

Some the word Woman fetch, though with small skil,

From those that want one to effect their wil

If so, I think that wantons there are none,

For till the world want men, can they want none.

339. Ingluviem sequitur fames.

Curio would feed upon the daintiest fare,

That with the Court or Country might compare:

For what lets Curio that he need to care,

To frolick freely with the proud'st that dare:

But this excesse was such in all things rare,

As he prov'd bankrupt e'r he was aware.

340. On Maulsters.

Such Maulsters as ill measure sell for gain,

Are not meer knaves, but also knaves in grain.

341. In Corbum.

[Page]

Corbus will not, perswade him all I can,

The world should take him for a Gentleman:

His reason's this, because men should not deem,

That he is such as he doth never seem.

342. On Priscus Mistresse.

Priscus commends his Mistris for a Girle,

Whose lips be rubies, and whose teeth are pearle▪

Th'had need prove so, or else it will be found,

He payes too door; they cost him many a pound▪

343. On Women.

Women think wo—men far more constant be,

Than we—men, and the letter O we see,

In wo—men, not in we—men, as they say,

Figures earths constant Orbe; we—men say nay

It means the Moon, which proves (none think i [...] strang [...]

Women are cōstant, & most true in change.

344. On Souldiers.

Nor faith, nor conscience common soldiers carry▪

Best pay, is right; their hands are mercenary.

345. Drusius and Furio.

Furio would fight with Drusius in the field,

Because the straw, stout Drusius would not yield,

[Page]On which their Mistris trod; they both did meet;

Drusius in field fell dead at Furio's feet;

One had the straw, but with it this Greek letter π

The other lost it, pray who had the better?

346. On Cupid.

Love is a Boy, and subject to the rod

Some say, but Lovers say he is a God:

I think that love is neither god nor boy,

But a mad brains imaginary toy.

347. On Candidus.

When I am sick, not else, thou com'st to see me,

Would fortune from both torments still would free me.

348. On a Puritan.

From impure mouths, now many bear the name

Of Puritan, yet merit not the same.

This one shall onely be my Puritan

That is a knave, yet seems an honest man.

349. Ostendit hedera vinum.

A scoffing mate, that past along Cheap-side,

Incontinent a gallant lasse espide;

Whose tempting Breasts (as to the sale laid out)

Incites this youngster thus to 'gin to flout.

[Page]Lady (quoth he) is this flesh to be sould?

No Lord (quoth she) for silver nor for gold,

But wherefore aske you? (and there made a stop)

To buy (quoth he) if not shut up your shop.

350. Quantum mutatus ab illo!

Pedes grown proud makes men admire thereat,

Whose baser breeding, should they think not beare it,

Nay, he on cock-horse rides, how like you that?

Tut! Pedes proverb is, Win gold and weare it.

But Pedes you have seen them rise in hast,

That through their pride have broke their neck at last.

351. Vpon Lavina.

Lavina brought to bed, her husband lookes

To know's childs fortune throughout his books,

His neighbours think h'had need search backward rather,

And learn for certain who had been the father.

352. Report and Error.

Error by Error, Tales by Tales, great grow;

As Snow-balls doe, by rowling to and fro.

353. In Superbum.

Rustick Suerbus fine new cloths hath got,

Of Taffata and velvet, fair in sight;

[Page]The shew of which hath so bewitcht the sot,

That he thinks Gentlemen to be his right:

But he's deceiv'd; for true that is of old,

An Ape's an Ape, though he wear cloth of gold.

354. No truth in Wine.

Truth is in wine, but none can find it there,

For in your Taverns, men will lye and sweare.

355. On Infidus.

Infidus was so free of Oaths last day,

That he would swear, what e'r he thought to say:

But now such is his chance, whereat he's griev'd

The more he swears, the lesse he is believ'd.

356. On Celsus.

Celsus doth love himself, Celsus is wise,

For now no Rivall e'r can claim his prize.

357. On Christmasse Ivy.

At Christmasse men doe alwayes Ivy get,

And in each corner of the house it set:

But why doe they, then, use that Bacchus weed?

Because they mean, then Bacchus-like to feed.

358. Adversity.

Adversity hurts none, but onely such

Whom whitest fortune dandled has too much.

359. On Bacchus.

[Page]

Pot-lifting Bacchus to the earth did bend

His knee to drink a health unto his friend:

And there he did so long in liquour pour,

That he lay quite sick-drunk upon the floor.

Judge, was there not a drunkards kindnes shown,

To drink his friend a health, and loose his own?

360. Of a fat man.

He's rich, that hath great in-comes by the year:

Then that great belly'd man is rich, I'l swear:

For sure his belly ne'r so big had bin,

Had he not daily had great commings in.

361. A wished Cramp.

Some have the Cramp in legs, and hands, 'tis told,

I wish't in my wifes tongue, when she doth scold.

362. Vindicta vim sequitur.

Nick being kick'd and spurr'd, pursues the Law,

That doom'd the dammage at twice forty pence.

Which, when the party wch had wrong'd him, saw;

Thought 'twas too great a fine for such offence.

Why then, quoth Nick, if I too much request,

Thou maist at any time kick out the rest.

363. On Flaccus.

Flaccus being young, they said he was a Gull;

Of his simplicity each mouth was full:

[Page]And pittying him, they'd say, the foolish Lad

Would surely be deceived, of all he had.

His youth is past, now may they turn him loose;

For why? the gull is grown to be a Goose.

364. Per plumas anser.

See how young Rusus walks in green each day,

As if he ne'r was youthfull until now:

Ere Christmas next, his green Goose will be gray,

And those high burnish'd plumes in's cap wil bow:

But you do wrong him, since his purse is full,

To call him Goose, that is so young a Gull.

365. Of Ienkin.

Ienkin is a rude Clowne, goe tell him so;

What need I tell, what he himself doth know?

Perhaps he doth not, then he is a sot;

For tell me, what knows he that knows it not?

365. On Trigg.

Trigg having turn'd his sute he struts in state,

And tells the world he's now regenerate.

366. To Fortune.

Poets say Fortune's blind, and cannot see,

And therefore to be born withall, if she

Sometimes drops gifts on undeserving wights:

But sure they are deceiv'd; she hath her sight;

[Page]Else could it not at all times so fall out,

That fools should have, and wise men go without.

367. On Briscus.

I pray you give Sir Briscus leave to speak,

The Gander loves to hear himself to creak.

368. On an English Ape.

Would you believe, when you this Monsieur see,

That his whole body should speak French, not he?

That he untravell'd should be French so much,

As French men in his company should seem Dutch?

Or hung some Monsieurs picture on the wall;

By which his damne conceiv'd him, cloaths & all?

No, 'tis the new French Taylors motion, made

Dayly to walk th'Exchange, and help the trade.

369. Possessions.

Those possessions short liv'd are

Into the which we come by warre.

370. Nulla dies sine linea.

By ever learning, Solon waxed old,

For time he knew, was better far then gold:

Fortune would give him gold which would decay

But Fortune cannot give him yesterday.

371. In Cornutum.

[Page]

One told his wife, a Harts-head he had bought,

To hang his hat upon, and home it brought:

To whom his frugall wife, what need [...] that care?

I hope, sweet-heart, your head your hat can beare.

372. On More-dew.

More-dew the Mercer; with a kind salute,

Would needs intreat my custome for a suite:

Here Sir, quoth he, for Sattins, Velvets call,

What e'r you please, I'l take your word for all.

I thank'd, took, gave my word; say than,

Am I at all indebted to this man?

373. Pari jugo dulcis tractus.

When Caecus had bin wedded now three dayes,

And all his neighbours bad God give him joy,

This strange conclusion with his wife assayes,

Why til her marriage-day she prov'd so coy:

'Fore God (saith he) 'twas well thou didst not yeild

For doubtless then my purpose was to leave thee.

Oh Sir (quoth she) I once was so beguild,

And thought the next man should not so deceive me.

Now fie upon't (quo [...]h he) thou breedst my wo.

Why man (quoth she) I speak but quid pro quo.

374. On Sims mariage.

[Page]

Six months, quoth Sim, a Suiter, and not sped?

I in a sev'n-night did both woo and wed

Who green fruit loves, must take long paines to shake;

Thine was some down-fall, I dare undertake.

375. Vpon Sis.

Si [...] brags sh'hath beauty, and will prove the same:

As how? as thus Sir; 'tis her Puppies name.

376. On Clym.

Clym cals his wife, and reckoning all his neighbors,

Just half of them are Cuckolds, he avers.

Nay sie, quoth she, I would they heard you speak;

You of your self, it seems, no reckoning make.

377. On Gut.

Science puffs up, sayes Gut, when either Pease

Make him thus swell, or windy Cabbages.

378. On Womens faults.

We men in many faults abound,

But two in women can be found:

The worst that from their Sex proceeds,

Is naught in words, and naught in deeds.

379. To a Muck-worm.

Content great riches is, to make which true,

Your Heir would be content to bury you.

380. On Law.

[Page]

Our Civil Law doth seem a Royall thing,

It hath more titles then the Spanish King:

But yet the Common-Law quite puts it down,

In getting, like the Pope, so many a Crown.

381. In Coam.

A nor ☊ will Coa espy,

Til she ascend up to the corner'd π

382. Maids Nay's.

Mayds Nayes are nothing, they are shy

But to desire what they deny.

383. De Ore.

Os of O, a Mouth, Scaliger doth make;

And from this letter, Mouth his name doth take:

And I had been of Scaligers belief,

But that I look'd in O, and saw no Teeth.

384. In Hugonem.

Though praise, and please, doth Hugo never none,

Yet praise, and please, doth Hugo ever one;

For praise, and please, doth Hugo himselfe alone.

385. On Severus.

Severus is extream in eloquence,

For he creates rare phrase, but rarer sense:

[Page]Unto his Serving-man, alias his Boy,

He utters speech exceeding quaint and coy;

Diminutive, and my defective slave,

My pleasures pleasure is, that I must have

My Corps Coverture, and immediately,

T'insconce my person from frigility.

His Man believ's all's Welsh his Master spoke,

Til he rails English, Rogue go fetch my Cloke.

386. On Iulias weeping.

She by the River sate, and sitting there,

She wept, and made it deeper by a teare.

387. On a Gallant.

What Gallant's that, whose Oaths fly through mine ears?

How like a Lord of Pluto's Court he swears!

How Dutchman-like he swallowes down his drink!

How sweet he takes Tobacco til he stink!

How lofty sprighted he disdains a Boor!

How faithfull hearted he is to a —!

How Cock-tail proud he doth himself advance!

How rare his spurs do ring the Morrice-dance!

Now I protest by Mistris Susans Fan,

He and his boy will make a proper man.

388. On Vertue, Milla's Maid.

[Page]

Saith Aristotle, Vertue ought to be

Communicative of her self & free;

And hath not Vertue, Milla's maid, been so?

Who's grown hereby, as big as she can go.

389. On Corydon.

An home-spun Peasant with his Urine-glasse,

The Doctor ask'd what Country-man he was.

Quoth Corydon, with making legs full low,

Your worship, that, shall by my water know.

390. On a Spanish Souldier.

A Spanish Souldier, sick unto the death,

His Pistol to's Physitian did bequeath.

Who did demand, what should the reason be,

'Bove other things to give him that; (quoth he)

This with your practice joyned, you may kill,

Sir, all alive, and have the world at will.

391. Vpon the Asse.

The Asse a Courtier on a time would be,

And travel'd forrain Nations for to see;

But home returned, fashion he could none,

His main and tail were onely larger grown.

392. On Hypocrisie.

As Venison in a poor mans Kitchin's rare;

So Hypocrites and Usurers in Heaven are.

393. Daemonum certamen.

[Page]

A Broker and an Usurer contended,

Which in's profession was the most befriended;

And for experience more to have it tride,

A Scrivener must the difference decide,

To whom (quoth he) you like the Fox & Cub,

One shall be Mammon, th'other Belzebub.

394. On Love.

Love's of it selfe too sweet; the b [...]st of all

Is; when Loves honey has a dash of gall.

395. On Man and Woman.

When Man and Woman dyes, as Poets sung;

His Heart's the last that stirs, of hers the Tongue.

396. On Fabullus.

I ask'd Fabullus, why he had no wife?

(Quoth he) because I'd live a quiet life.

397. On Fornus.

Fornus takes pains, he need not without doubt,

O yes, he labours much. How? with the Gout.

398. Quid non ebrietas.

Rubin reports, his Mistris is a Punk:

Which being told her, was no whit dismaid,

For sure as death (quoth she) the Villains drunk▪

[Page]And in that taking, knows not what he said.

'Twas well excus'd, but oft it comes to passe,

That true we find, In vino veritas.

399. No Paines, no Gaines.

If little labour, little are our gaines,

Mans fortunes are according to his pains.

400. Infirmis animosus.

Pontus by no means from his coyn departs,

Z'foot, will you have of men more then their hearts?

401. A culina ad curiam.

Lixa, that long a Serving-groom hath been,

Will now no more the man be known or seen:

And reason good, he hath the place resign'd;

Witnesse his cloak, throughout with Velvet lin'd,

Which by a Paradox comes thus to passe;

The greasie Gull is turn'd a gallant asse.

402. Frustra vocaveris heri.

Dick had but two words to maintain him ever,

And that was Stand, and after stand Deliver.

But Dick's in Newgate, and he fears shall never

Be blest again with that sweet word, Deliver.

403. Magnis non est morandum.

See how Silenus walks accomplished,

With due performance of his fathers page:

[Page]Looks back of purpose to be honoured,

And on each slight occasion 'gins to rage;

You, villain, dog, where hath your stay bin such?

Quoth he, the Broker would not lend so much.

404. Puduit sua damna referre.

Such ill successe had Dick at Dice last night,

As he was forc'd, next day, play least in sight:

But if you love him, make thereof no speeches,

He lost his Rapier, Cloak, and Velvet Breeches.

405. Ad Lectorem.

Reader, thou seest how pale these papers look,

While they fear thy hard censure on my Book.

406. Nimis docuit consuetudo.

Old Fucus board is oft replenished,

But nought thereof must be diminished,

Unlesse some worthlesse upper-dish or twain;

The rest for service still again remain.

His man that us'd to bring them in for show,

Leaving a dish upon the bench below,

Was by his Master (much offended) blam'd,

Which he, as brief, with answer quickly fram'd;

T'hath been so often brought afore this day,

As now ch'ad thoft it selfe had known the way.

407. Poculo junguntur amici.

[Page]

A health, saith Lucas, to his Loves bright ey;

Which not to pledge, were much indignity;

You cannot doe him greater courtesie,

Then to be drunk, and dam'd for company.

408. Nullum stimulum ignaris.

Caecus awake, was tol'd the Sun appear'd,

Which had the darknesse of the morning clear'd:

But Caecus sluggish, thereto makes reply,

The Sun hath further far to goe then I.

409. In Richardum.

At three goe-downs Dick doffs me off a pot,

The English Gutter's Latine for his throat.

410. Non penna, sed usus.

Cajus accounts himself accurst of men,

Onely because his Lady loves him not:

Who, till he taught her, could not hold her pen,

And yet hath since, another Tutor got.

Cajus it seems, Thy skill she did but cheapen,

And means to try him at another weapon.

411. An absolute Gallant.

If you will see true valour here display'd,

Heare Poly-phemus, and be not afraid.

[Page]D'ye see me wrong'd, and will ye thus restrain me?

Sir let me go, for by these hilts I'l brain ye.

Shall a base patch with appearance wrong me?

I'l kill the villain, pray do not prolong me.

Call my Tobacco putrified stuffe?

Tell me it stinks? say it is drosse I snuffe!

Sirrah! what are you? why Sir, what would you?

I am a Prentice, and will knock you too:

O are you so? I cry you mercy then,

I am to fight with none but Gentlemen.

412. To Momus.

Momus thou say'st my Verses are but toyes:

'Tis true, yet truth is often spoke by boyes.

413. In Dolentem.

Dolens doth shew his purse, and tell you this,

It is more horrid then a Pest-house is;

For in a Pest-house many mortals enter,

But in his purse one Angel dares not venter.

414. Abditio perditio.

From Mall but merry, men but mirth derive,

For trix 'tis makes her prove demonstrative.

415. On a Gallant.

Sirrah, come hither, boy, take view of me,

My Lady I am purpos'd to goe see;

[Page]What doth my Feather flourish with a grace?

And this my curled hair become my face?

How decent doth my Doublet's form appear?

I would I had my Sute in Long-lane here.

Do not my spurs pronounce a silver sound?

Is not my hose-circumference profound?

Sir these be well, but there is one thing ill,

Your Taylor with a sheet of Paper-bill,

Vowes hee'l be paid, and Sergeants he hath fee'd,

Which wait your coming forth to do the deed.

Boy God-a-mercy, let my Lady stay,

I'll see no Counter for her sake to day.

416. In Sextum.

Sextus six pockets wears, two for his uses,

The other four to pocket up abuses.

417. A Stammerer.

Balbus with other men would angry be,

Because they could not speak as well as he;

For others speak but with their mouth he knows,

But Balbus speaks both through the mouth & nose.

418. On himselfe.

I dislikt but even now;

Now I love I know not how.

Was I idle, and that while

Was I fired with a smile?

[Page]Ile to work, or pray, and then

I shall quite dislike agen.

419. Tom's fortune.

Tom tel's he's rob'd, and counting all his losses,

Concludes, all's gone, the world is full of crosses:

If all be gone, Tom take this comfort then,

Th'art certain never to have crosse agen.

420. Opus and Vsus.

Opus for need consum'd his wealth apace,

And ne'r would cease untill he was undone;

His brother Vsus liv'd in better case

Than Opus did, although the eldest son.

'Tis strange it should be so, yet here was it,

Opus had all the Land, Vsus the Wit.

421. A good Wife.

A Batchelor would have a Wife were wise,

Fair, rich, and young, a maiden for his bed —

Nor proud, nor churlish, but of faultlesse size;

A Country houswife in the City bred.

But he's a fool, and long in vain hath staid;

He should bespeak her, there's none ready made.

422. Anger.

Wrong [...] if neglected, vanish in short time;

But heard with anger, we confesse the crime.

423. Vpon Gellia.

[Page]

When Gellia went to school, and was a Girle;

Her teeth for whitenes might compare with pearle

But after she the taste of sweet meats knew,

They turn'd all Opals, to a perfect blew;

Now Gellia takes Tobacco, what should let,

But last they should converted be to jet?

424. On an unconstant Mistresse.

I dare not much say when I thee commend,

Lest thou be changed e'r my praises end.

425. In Lesbiam.

Why should I love thee Lesbia? I no reason see:

Then out of reason, Lesbia, I love thee.

426. In Paulinum.

Paul by day wrongs me, yet he daily swears,

He wisheth me as well as to his soul:

I know his drift to damn that he nought cares,

To please his body, therefore good friend Paul,

If thy kinde nature will afford me grace,

Hereafter love me in thy body's place.

427. On Zeno.

Zeno would fain th'old widow Egle have;

Trust me he's wise, for she is rich and brave:

[Page]But Zeno, Zeno, she will none of you;

In my mind she's the wiser of the two.

428. Of a Drunkard.

Cinna one time most wonderfully swore,

That whilst he breath'd he would drink no more▪

But since I know his meaning, for I think

He meant he would not breath whilst he did drink.

429. To Cotta.

Be not wroth Cotta, that I not salute thee,

I us'd it whilst I worthy did repute thee;

Now thou art made a painted Saint, and I,

Cotta, will not commit Idolatry.

430. To Women.

Ye that have beauty, and withall no pitty,

Are like a prick-song lesson without ditty

431. On Creta.

Creta doth love her husband wondrous well,

It needs no proof, for every one can tell:

So strong's her love, that if I not mistake,

It doth extend to others for his sake.

432. On Priscus.

Why still doth Priscus strive to have the wall?

Because he's often drunk and fears to fall.

433. On Rufus.

[Page]

At all, quoth Rufus, lay you what you dare,

I'l throw at all, and 'twere a peck of gold;

No life lies on't, then coyn I'l never spare;

Why Rufus, that's the cause of all that's sold?

For with frank Gamesters it doth oft befall,

They throw at all, till thrown quite out of all.

434. On Tobacco.

Tobacco is a weed of so great pow'r,

That it (like earth) doth all it feeds, devour.

435. Vpon Nasuto.

When at the Table once I did averre,

Well-taken discord, best did please the ear,

And would be judg'd by any Q [...]irister,

Were in the Chappel, Pauls, or Westminster;

Nasuto sitting at the nether end,

(First having drunk and cough'd) quoth he my friend,

If that were true, my wife and I, I feare,

Should soon be sent to some Cathedral Q [...]ire.

436. Nec vultus indicat virum.

Dick in a raging deep discourtesy,

Calls an Atturny meer Necessity:

The more knave he; admit he had no Law,

Must he be flouted at by every Daw?

437. On Furius.

[Page]

Furius a lover was, and had loving fits,

He lov'd so madly that he lost his wits;

Yet he lost nought, yet grant I, he was mad,

How could he lose that which he never had?

438. Fools Fortune.

Fools have great fortune, but yet not all,

For some are great fools, whose fortune's small.

439. Tace sed age.

Little or nothing said, soon mended is,

But they that nothing do, do most amisse.

440. On Count-surly.

Count-surly will no Scholler entertain:

Or any wiser then himself; how so?

The reason is, when fools are in his train,

His wit amongst them, makes a goodly show.

441. On Women.

When man lay dead-like, woman took her life,

From a crook't embleme of her nuptiall strife;

And hence (a [...] bones would be at rest) her ease

She loves so well, and is so hard to please.

442. Verses.

[Page]

Who will not honour noble Numbers, when

Verses out-live the bravest deeds of men?

443. Poor Irus.

Irus using to lye upon the ground,

One morning under him a feather found,

Have I all night here lien so hard (quoth he)

Having but one poor feather under me:

I wonder much then how they take their ease,

That night by night, lie on a bed of these.

444. Merry Doll.

I blame not lusty Doll, that strives so much,

To keep her light heart free from sorrowes touch;

Shee'l dance and sing a hem boyes, hey all six,

She's steel to th'back, all mirth, all meretrix.

445. Heaven and Hell.

I [...] Heaven's call'd the place where Angels dwell,

My purse wants Angels, pray call that Hell.

446. Like qu [...]stion like answer.

A young beginner walking through Cheap-side,

A house shut up he presently espy'd

And read the Bill, which o'r the door was set,

Which said, the house and shop was to be let;

[Page]That known, he ask'd a young man presently,

Which at the next door stood demurely.

May not this shop be let alone? qoth he,

Yes, you may let't alone for ought I see.

447. On deaf Ioan.

She prates to others, yet can nothing heare,

Just like a sounding Jugge that wants an eare.

448. Of an ill wife.

Priscus was weeping when his wife did dye,

Yet he was then in better case then I:

I should be merry, and should think to thrive,

Had I but his dead wife for mine alive.

449. Meum & Tuum.

Megge lets her husband boast of rule and riches,

But she rules all the roast, and wears the breeches.

450. Deaths trade.

Death is a Fisherman, the world we see

His Fish-pond is, and we the Fishes be.

He sometimes, Angler-like, doth with us play,

And slily takes us one by one away;

Diseases are the murthering-books, which he

Doth catch us with, the bait mortality,

[Page]Which we poor silly fish devour, til strook,

At last too late we feel the bitter hook.

At other times he brings his net, and then

At once sweeps up whole Cities ful of men,

Drawing up thousands at a draught, and saves

Onely some few, to make the others graves:

His Net some raging pestilence; now he

Is not so kind as other Fishers be;

For if they take one of the smaller [...]rye,

They throw him in again, he shall not dye:

But death is sure to kill all he can get,

And all is Fish with him that comes to Net.

451. O [...] Bice.

Bice laughs when no man speak [...], and doth protest

It is his own breech there that break [...] the jest.

452. Valiant in drinke.

Who onely in his Cups will [...]ight, is like

A clock that must be oil'd wel ere it strike.

453. Master and Scholler.

A Pedant ask'd a Puny ripe and bold,

In an hard frost, the Latine word for cold:

I'l tell you out of hand, (quoth he) for lo,

I have it at my fingers ends, you know.

454. Gasters great belly.

[Page]

Gaster did seem to me to want his eyes,

For he could neither see his legs nor thighs;

But yet it was not so; he had his sight,

Onely his belly hanged in his light.

455. Drunken Dick.

When Dick for want of drunken mates grows sick,

Then with himself to work goes faithfull Dick.

The buttery dore t'himself he shutteth close

That done, then goes the pot straight wayes to's nose:

A health (quoth noble Dick) each hogs-head than

Must seeming pledge this honest faithfull man:

But straight from kindnes Dick to humors grows,

And then to th'barrels he his valour shows,

Throwing about the cups, the pots, the glasses,

And rails at the tuns, calling them drunken asses:

Ne'r ceasing this same faithfull coyl to keep,

Till under th'hogshead Dick fals fast asleep.

456. In Sextinum.

A pretty block Sextinus names his Hat,

So much the fitter for his head by that.

457. Sine sanguine.

Ralph challeng'd Robin, time and place appointed,

Their Parents heard on't, O how they lamented!

[Page]But good luck was, they soon were freed of fear,

The one ne'r meant, the other came not there.

458. On humane Bodies.

Our bodies are like shooes, which off we cast,

Physick their Cobler is, and death the Last.

459. On Trencherman.

Tom shifts the Trenchers, yet he never can,

Endure that luke-warm name of Servingman;

Serve or not serve, let Tom doe what he can,

He is a serving, who's a Trencher-man.

460. A Toothlesse-pratler.

Nature the teeth doth as an hedge ordain,

The nimble frisking tongue for to contain:

No marvel then since that the hedge is out,

If Fuscus tongue walketh so fast about.

461. A musicall Lady.

A Lady fairer far then fortunate,

(In dancing) thus o'r-shot her self of late,

The Musick not in tune, pleasd not her mind,

For which he with the Fidlers fault did find;

Fidlers (quoth she) your Fiddles tune for shame▪

But as she was a speaking of the same,

To mend the consort, let she did a (F.)

[Page]Whereas the fidling knaves thus did her greet,

Madam your pipe's in tune, it plays most sweet;

Strike up, qd. they, (but then the knaves did smile)

And as you p [...]p [...], wee'l dance another while.

At which, away the blushing Lady flings,

But as she goes, her former notes she sings.

462. In Laurettam.

Lauretta is laid o'r, how I'l not say,

And yet I think two manner of wayes I may,

Doubly laid o'r, videlicet, her face,

Laid o'r with colours, and her coat with lace.

463. On Macer.

You call my verses toy's, th'are so, 'tis true,

Yet they are better then ought comes from you.

464. Briskap the Gallant.

Though thou hast little judgement in thy head,

More than to dresse thee, drink and goe to bed;

Yet may'st thou take the wall, & th'way shalt lead,

Sith Logick wills that simple things precede.

465. Necessity hath no Law.

Florus did beat his Cook, and 'gan to sweaee,

Because his meat was rotten roasted there.

Peace good Sir (quoth the Cook) Need hath no Law,

'Tis rotten roasted, 'cause 'twas rotten raw.

466. In Carientium.

[Page]

Garentius might have wedded where he woo'd,

But he was poor, his means was nothing good,

'Twas but for lack of living that he lost her;

For why? no penny now, no Pater noster.

467. On Harpax.

Harpax gave to the poor all by his will,

Because his heir should not faign'd tears distill.

468. To a Barber.

Tonsorius onely lives by cutting haire,

And yet he brags that Kings to him sit bare:

Me thinks he should not brag and boast of it,

For he must stand to beggars while they sit.

469. Vpon Grand [...]orto.

The morrow after just Saint Georges day,

Grand [...]orto piteous drunk, sate in a ditch,

His hands by's side, his gelding stray'd away,

His scarlet hose, and doublet very rich;

With mud and mire all beastly raid, and by

His feather with his close-stool-hat did ly.

We ask'd the reason of his sitting there,

Zounds 'cause I am King Solomon (quoth he)

And in my Throne; then for the Love we beare,

(Replyed my selfe) unto your Majesty,

[Page]Wee'l pull you out, & henceforth wish your grace

Would speak your Proverbs in a warmer place.

470. The Fencer and Physick Doctor.

Lie thus (the Fencer cryes) thus must you guard,

Thus must you slip, thus point, thus pass, thus ward

And if you kill him Sir, this trick learn then

With this same trick you may kill many men.

A Doctor standing by, cryes, Fencing fool,

Both you & he to me may come to school,

Thou dost but prate: my deeds shall show my skil

Where thou hurt'st one, an hundred I doe kill.

471. In Lusiam.

Lusia who scorns all others imitations,

Cannot abide to be out-gone in fashions:

She sayes she cannot have a hat or ruffe,

A gown, a peticoat, a band, or cuffe.

But that these Citizens (whom she doth hate)

Will get into't, at ne'r so dear a rate:

But Lusia now doth such a fashion wear,

Whose hair is curl'd, and costs her som what dear:

That there's no Citizen, what e'r she be,

Can be transform'd so like an Owl as she.

472. Kisses.

Give the food that satisfies a Guest:

Kisses are but dry banquets to a feast

473. A Civilian.

[Page]

A lusty old grown-grave gray-headed Sire,

Stole to a wench, to quench his lusts desire;

She ask'd him what profession he might be?

I am a Civil Lawyer, Girle, (quoth he)

A Civil Lawyer Sir! you make me muse,

Your talk's too broad for Civil men to use;

If Civil Lawyers are such bawdy men,

Oh what (quoth she) are other Lawyers then?

474. Rainaldo, and Rainer.

Rainaldo meeting Reiner in the street,

Deep in his debt, he doth thus Reiner greet,

You know some money is betwixt us two,

That well-nigh now these ten years hath bin due;

Quoth Reiner (looking down unto his feet)

I' [...]aith and we will part it, if I see't:

But as I live Rainaldo I find none,

As fain as you, I would you had your owne.

475. Spinus his choyce.

Spinus would wed, but he would have a wench

That hath all tongues, Italian, Spanish, French,

But I disswade him; for if she hath any,

She hath enough; if two, she hath too too many.

476. Backbiters.

[Page]

When Codrus catches fleas, what e'r he ailes,

He kils them with his teeth, not his nails;

Saying, that man by man may blamelesse go,

If every one would use Backbiters so.

477. In Salonus.

Oft in the night Salonus is inclin'd,

To rise and pisse; and doth as oft break wind▪

If's Urinall be glasse, as 'tis no doubt,

I wonder it so many cracks holds out.

478. In Leonatum.

The filthiest, the fowlest, deformedst lasse,

That is, will be, I think or ever was,

Leonatus loves; wherewith should she him draw,

Except as she's like jet, he be like straw?

479. Nosce teipsum.

Walking and meeting one not long ago,

I ask't who 'twas, he said he did not know:

I said, I know thee; so said he, I you,

But he that knows himselfe I never knew.

480. An Old Silvium.

Silvius by Simony a living got,

And he liv'd well upon it; pray why not?

[Page]For he the poor did pill, the rich did lurch,

And so became a pillar of the Church.

481. On Perfumes.

They that smel least, smell best: which intimates,

They smell like Beasts that smell like Civet Cats.

482. Arcades ambo.

Iack and Dick both with one woman dealt

So long till she the pains of woman felt:

Now Dick he thinks to put a trick on Iack

And Iack again to hang it on Dicks back:

Which got the Child, it seems a double case,

I [...] hath so like (they say) Iacks nose, Dicks face.

But by both marks my judgement should be quick,

Et vitulo tu dignus Iack & Dick.

483. On Punchin.

Give me a reason why men call

Punchin a dry plant-Animall.

Because as plants by water grow,

Punchin by Beer & Ale spreads so.

484. Ne fide colori.

When Bassa walks abroad she paints her face,

And then she would be seen in every place,

For then your Gallants who so e'r they are,

Under a colour will account her faire.

485. In Flavium.

[Page]

When Flavius once would needs praise Tin,

His brain could b [...]ing no reason in;

But what his belly did bethink,

Platters for meat, and Pots for drink.

486. Ad Quintum.

Thy lawfull wife, fair Lelia needs must be,

For she was forc'd by Law to marry thee.

487. In Virtutem.

Vertue we praise, but practice not her good,

(Athenian-like) we act not what we know▪

So many men doe talk of Robin-Hood,

Who never yet shot arrow in his bow.

488. A good wits diet.

That which upholds our tottering walls of flesh,

Is food: and that which doth our wits refresh,

Is wholsome study: for like longer fare,

Be solid Arts, but sweet meats Poems are.

489. On Womens tongue.

Things that be bitter, bitterer than gall,

Physitians say, are alwayes Physicall.

[Page]Then womens tongues, if into powder beaten,

And in a Potion, or a pill be eaten,

Nothing more bitter is, I therefore muse,

That womens tongues in Physick they ne'r use:

There's many men who live unquiet lives,

Would spare that bitter member of their wives.

Then prove them Doctor, use them in a pill;

Things oft help sick men, that do sound men kill.

490. A proper comparison.

As there are three blue beans in a blue bladder,

As there are thrice three rounds in a long ladder,

As there are three nooks in a corner'd cap,

And three corners and one in a Map,

Even so like all these,

There are three Universities.

491. Of Death.

He that fears death, or mourns it in the just,

Shews of the resurrection little trust.

492. Woman.

Woman was once a rib, (as truth hath said)

Else sith her tongue runs wide from every point,

I should have dream'd her substance had bin made

Of Adams whirle-bone, when 'twas out of joynt.

493. Pepertit, &c.

[Page]

Nels Husband said, she brought him nought but toys,

But yet (without his help) she brings him boys.

494. Insipiens.

Two friends discoursing that together stood,

The one enquiring if the other could

Tell whether such a man were wise?

He answer'd no, but he is otherwise.

495. Romes wifelesse Clergy.

Long did I wonder, and I wonder'd much,

Rome should her Clergy that contentment grudge

As to debar them of their proper due;

What, doth she all with continence indue?

O no; they find a womans lips so dainty,

They'l tye themselves from one, 'cause they'l have twenty.

496. On Eves Apples.

Eve for thy fruit thou gav'st too dear a price,

What? for an Apple give a Paradise?

If now adayes of fruit such gaines were made,

A Coster-monger were a Devilish trade.

497.

Will the Perfumer met me in the street,

I stood amaz'd, he ask'd me what I meant;

[Page]In faith, said I, your Gloves are very sweet,

And yet your breath doth cast a stronger sent:

498. Beauty.

Beauty's no other but a lovely grace,

Of lively colours, flowing from the face.

499. On Poeticall Blinks.

He nine wayes looks, and needs must learned be,

That all the Muses at one view can see.

500. A Conceit.

As Sextus once was opening of a Nut,

With a sharpe knife his finger deeply cut,

What signe is this, quoth he, can any tell?

'Tis sign, quoth one, y'have cut your finger well.

Not so, saith he, for now my finger's sore,

And I am sure that it was well before.

501. Women.

Howsoe'r they be, thus doe they seem to me,

They be and seem not, seem what least they be:

502. Mutuans Dissimulans.

Dick crafty borrows to no other end,

But that he will not ought to others lend,

That else might ask him: 'Tis some wisedome Dick

How ere, accounted but a knavish trick.

503. Writing.

[Page]

When words we want, love teacheth to indite;

And what we blush to speak, she bids us write.

504. A cure for Impatience.

Who would be patient, wait he at the Pool,

For Bull-heads, or for Block-heads in the School.

505. Satisfaction.

For all our works, a recompence is sure:

'Tis sweet to think on what was hard t'endure.

506. To Mistris mutable.

Love runs within your veins, as it were mixt

With Quick-silver, but would be wisely fixt:

For though you may for beauty bear the Bell,

Yet ever to ring Changes sounds not well.

507. On a Mad-man.

One ask'd a man-man, if a wife he had?

A wife! quoth he, I never was so mad.

508. To Scilla.

If it be true that promise be a debt,

Then Scilla will her freedom hardly get;

For if she hath vow'd her service to so many,

She'l neither pay them all, nor part from any.

[Page]Yet she to satisfie her debts, desires

To yeeld her body, as the Law requires.

509. Nescis, quid serus vesper vehat.

Lyn [...]us deviseth as he lyes in bed,

What new apparrell he were best to make him:

So many fashions flow within his head,

As much he fears the Taylor will mistake him:

But he mistook him not, that by the way

Did for his old suit lay him up that day.

510. To Ficus.

Ficus hath lost his nose, but knows not how,

And that seems strange to ev'ry one that knows it:

Me thinks I see it written in his brow,

How, wherefore, and the cause that he did loose it.

To tell you true, Ficus, I thus suppose,

'Twas some French Caniball bit off your nose.

511. On a painted Curtezan.

Whosoever saith thou sellest all, doth jest,

Thou buy'st thy beauty, that sels all the rest

512. Of Arnaldo.

Arnaldo free from fault, demands his wife,

Why he is burthen'd with her wicked life?

Quoth she, good husband doe not now repent,

I far more burthens bear, yet am content.

513. Labor improbus omnia vincit.

[Page]

Glogo will needs be knighted for his lands,

Got by the labour of his fathers hands,

And hopes to prove a Gentleman of note,

For he hath bought himself a painted coat.

514. Quis nisi mentis inops—

Ware proffer'd stinks; yet stay good Proverb, stay,

Thou art deceiv'd, as Clients best can say;

Who proferring trebble fees, for single care,

It's well accepted, gold it is such ware.

515. On a friend indeed.

A reall friend a Cannon cannot batter;

With nom'nall friends, a Squib's a perilous matter,

516. On an Italian Proverb.

Three women met upon the Market day,

Do make a Market, (they do use to say

In Italy) and why? their tongues do walk

As loud, as if an hundred men did talk.

One hearing this, swore had his wife been there

And made a fourth, there might have been a Faire.

517. Mans ingresse and egresse.

Nature, which head-long into life did throng us,

With our feet forwards to our grave doth bring us

[Page]What is lesse ours, then this our borrow'd breath?

We stumble into life, we goe to death.

518. On bad Debtors.

Bad debtors are good lyers; for they say,

I'l pay you without faile, on such a day;

Come is the day, to come the debt is still,

So still they lye, though stand in debt they will.

But Fulcus hath so oft ly'd in this wise,

That now he lyes in Ludgate for his lyes.

519. On a Iustasse.

A Iustice walking o'r the frozen Thames,

The Ice about him round, began to crack;

He said to's man, here is some danger, Iames,

I pray thee help me over on thy back.

520. Genitoris nesciens.

Tom asks no fathers blessing, if you note him,

And wiser he, unlesse he knew who got him.

521. To a sleeping Talker.

In sleep thou talk'st un-forethought mysteries,

And utter'st un-foreseen things, with close eyes.

How wel wouldst thou discourse if thou wert dead

Since sleep, deaths image, such fine talk hath bred?

522. Omne simile non est idem.

[Page]

Together as we walk'd, a friend of mine

Mistook a painted Madam for a Signe,

That in a window stood; but I acquainted,

Told him it was no wooden sign was painted,

But Madam Meretrix: yea, true, said he,

Yet 'tis a little signe of modesty.

523. Tandem manifestum.

Katharine that hid those Candles out of sight,

May well conceive they'l come at length to light.

524. Qui ebrius laudat temperantiam.

Severus likes not these unseason'd lines

Of rude absurdities, times foul abuse,

To all posterities, and their assignes,

That might have been (saith he) to better use.

What senslesse gull, but reason may convince,

Or jade so dull, but being kick'd will wince?

525. Quantum mutatus ab illo.

Would any deem Manasses now the man,

That whilome was not worth a wooden kan.

Doubtlesse the Dunce in something doth surpasse,

Yet his red nose is still the same it was.

526. On wisedome and vertue.

[Page]

Wise-men are wiser than good-men, what then?

'Tis better to be wiser than wise men.

527. On Ducus.

Ducus keeps house, and it with reason stands,

That he keep house, hath sold away his lands.

528. Mysus and Mopsa.

Mysus and Mopsa hardly could agree,

Striving about superiority:

The Text which saith that man and wife are one,

Was the chief Argument they stood upon.

She held, they both one woman should become:

He held, they should be man, and both but one.

So they contended daily, but the strife

Could not be ended, till both were one wife.

529. On Photinus.

I met Photinus at the B— Court,

Cited (as he said) by a Knave relator:

I ask'd him, wherefore? he in laughing sort,

Told me it was but for a Childish matter.

How e're he laught it out, he lied not;

Indeed 'twas childish, for the child he got.

530. On Castriotes.

[Page]

See, see, what love is now betwixt each fist,

Since Castriotes had a scabby wrist:

How kindly they, by clawing one another,

As if the left hand were the right hands brother!

531. New Rhetorique.

Good Arguments without coyn, will not stick;

To pay, and not to say, 's best Rhetorick.

532. To some kinde Readers.

This Book of mine I liken to a glasse,

Wherein the fool may look and laugh his fill:

He having done with't Readers, as ye passe,

Here take and use it, as long as you will.

533. Est mihi Divi parens.

Owinus wondreth, since he came from Wales,

What the description of this Isle might be;

That ne'r had seen but mountaines, hils, and dales,

Yet would he stand and boast on's pedegree.

From Rice ap Richard, sprung from Dick a Cow,

Be cot, was right good gentleman, law ye now?

434. Principia sordida.

Bassus hath Lands good store, and leases Farms,

Whose Mother, Milk-pails bore, e'r he bore arms.

535. On Thirsites.

[Page]

Although Thirsites have a filthy face,

And staring eyes, and little outward grace:

Yet this he hath, to make amends for all,

Nature her selfe, is not more naturall.

536. On Zoilus.

If Souldiers may obtain four Terms of war,

Muskets should be the pleaders, Pikes the bar;

For black bags, Bandeliers, Jackets for gowns,

Angels for fees, we'll take no more crackt crowns.

537. On a long beard.

Thy beard is long, better it would thee fit,

To have a shorter beard, and longer wit.

538. On my selfe.

Who seeks to please all men each way,

And not himselfe offend;

He may begin to work to day,

But God knows when hee'l end.

539. Nimium ne crede colori.

Battas believed for a simple truth,

That yonder gilt-spur spruce and Velvet youth,

Was some great personage, or worthy weight,

Untill one told him he was but a Knight.

[Page]A Knaight (quoth Battas) vaith I chud a zworne,

A hod not bin lass then zome Gen-man borne.

540. Silens simplex.

Will would seem wise, and many words let passe,

Speaking but little 'cause he's such an —

541. To the mis-interpreter.

Cease gaul'd back guilt, these inscious lines to mince,

The world wil know y'are rub'd if once ye wince;

They hem within their seeming Critique wall,

Particularly none; generally all:

'Mongst which if you have chanc'd to catch a prick

Cry we-hy if you will, but doe not kick.

542. To Mary Meare.

Meare, since unmixt, unmary'd, and a maid;

Then you to be a Mearmaid may be said:

A Mearmaid's flesh above, and fish below,

And so may you be too, for ought I know.

543. Ad Rinaldum amic.

See, see, Rinaldus! Prethee who is that,

That wears you great green feather in his Hat,

Like to some Tilter? sure it is some Knight,

Whose wits being green, his head must needs be light.

544. On himselfe.

[Page]

Mirth pleaseth some, to others 'tis offence,

Some commend plain conceit, some profound sence;

Some wish a witty jest, some dislike that,

And most would have themselves, they know not what.

Then he that would please all, and himself too,

Takes more in hand then he is like to doe.

545. Fingers end.

Philomathes once studying to indite,

Nibled his fingers, and his nailes did bite:

By this I know not what he did intend,

Unlesse his wit lay at his fingers end.

546. Sapia qui vendit oportet.

Ianus doth jesting, use Equivocation,

Which he alludes as doubtfull words of Art,

To hide the colour of his Occupation,

But to the Devil he bears an honest heart.

547. Clamans Asinus.

Who says Tom Tipstaffe is no man of calling?

Can any Cryer at Sessions be more bawling?

548. Vpon Dunmo.

I Dunmo ask'd as we at Supper sate,

How long he had liv'd in the maried state,

[Page]Sir, just (quoth Dunmo) with my wife I met

In the great Plague time, I remember yet,

And sighing, as he would have burst in twain,

Said, now almost the thirtieth of her raign.

549. Vpon Tom Tolthams Nose.

The radiant colour of Tom Toltham's nose,

Puts down the Lilly, and obscures the Rose;

Had I a Jewell of such precious hew,

I would present it to some Monarch's view,

No subject should possesse such Jems as those,

Ergo, the King must have Tom Toltham's nose.

550. Domina praedominans.

Ill may Rodolphos boast of rule or riches,

That lets his wife rule him, and wear the breeches:

551. Titus the Gallant.

Brave Titus three years in the Town hath been,

Yet not the Lyons, nor the Tombs hath seen;

I cannot tell the cause without a smile,

He hath bin in the Counter all this while.

552. In Lalum.

Lalus which loves to hear himselfe discourse,

Talks to himselfe as if he frantick were,

And though himself might no where hear a wors [...],

Yet he no other but himselfe will heare;

[Page]Stop not his mouth if he be troublesome,

But stop his ears, and then the man is dumbe.

553. To Criticus.

Criticus about to kisse a Mayden throng,

He hapned first on one whose nose was long;

He flouting, said, I fain would kisse you Sweet,

But that I fear our lips will never meet,

Your nose stands out so far; the Maiden dy'd

Her cheeks with Crimson, but soon thus reply'd,

Pray sir, then kisse me in that place where I

To hinder you, have neither nose nor eye.

554. Profundo Scientia.

Sal can by silence, deep profundity,

Force you cry, fough! Ieronimo go by.

555. On two by Sea.

Two Youngsters going by Sea, th'one

That ne'r before had been the Sea upon.

Casts up; and as he heaves, he Bo doth cry;

O said the other, Sir, y'are sick, ye'll dy.

No (says the Sea-sick) though my stomack's loose,

You see, I can cry Bo unto a Goose.

556. Vt pluma parsona.

Why wears Laurentius such a lofty feather?

Because he's proud, and foolish both together.

557. Aurum volat ocius Euro.

[Page]

Monsieur Flemingo fraught with Angels store,

Would see fair London, never seen before:

Where lodging with his Mistress but one night,

Had (ere he parted) put them all to flight.

558. To Pontilianus.

Dogs on their Masters fawn and leap,

And wag their tails apace;

So, though the Flatt'rer want a taile,

His tongue supplies the place.

559. Instabilis stans.

Mat being drunken, much his anger wreaks

On's wife; but stands to nothing that he speaks.

560. On some Lawyers.

Law serves to keep disordered men in aw,

But Aw preserves orders, and keeps the Law,

Were Aw away L[aw]yers would lyers be

For Lucre; which they have and hold in fee.

561. Health.

Even from my heart, much Health I wish,

No Health I'll wash with drink,

Health wish'd, not wash'd, in words, not wine,

To be the best I think.

562. Case is altered.

[Page]

Tom Case (some do report) was lately haltered;

If this be true, why then the case is altered.

563. Quae placuit Domino nupta est Ancilla sodali.

Madam Rugosa knows not were to find

One Chamber-maid of ten to please her mind.

But yet my Lor [...] so likes their comely carriage,

As he prefers them to his men in marriage.

564. Plagis mitior.

Katharine that grew so curst, and fit for no man,

With beating soon became a gentle-woman.

565. Priscus.

When Priscus raisd from low to high estate,

Rode through the street in pompous jollity;

Cajus his poor familiar friend of late,

Bespake him thus, Sir now you know not me;

'Tis likely friend (quoth Priscus) to be so,

For at this time my selfe I doe not know.

566. Anger soon appeased.

When Iohn Cornutus doth his wife reprove,

For being false and faithlesse in her love,

[Page]His wife to smooth those wrinkles in his brow,

Doth stop his mouth with, Iohn come kisse me now.

567. A foole for Company.

Fatuus will drink with no such Asse,

That lets his jests (unapprehended) passe:

Or if he jest with such of shallow brain,

He laughs himselfe to make his jests more plain.

Thus Fatuus doth jest and play [...]he sany,

To laugh at's self, hee's fool if there be any.

568. In Cineam.

When Cineas comes amongst his friends in mourning,

He slily notes, who first his cap doth move;

Him he salutes, the rest so grimly scorning,

As if for ever he had lost his love;

I knowing how the humor it did fit

Of the fond Gull to be saluted first,

Catch at my Cap, but move it not a whit,

Which he perceiving, seems with spight to burst.

But Cineas, why expect you more of me▪

Then I of you? I am as good a man,

And better too by many a quality:

For vault, and dance, and fence, and rime I can:

You keep a whore at your own charge, men tell me,

Indeed friend Cineas, therein you excell we.

569. On Captain Sharke.

[Page]

One ask'd a friend where Captain Shark did lye,

Why sir (quoth he) at ADIV2ate, at the Pye;

Away, quoth th'other, he lies not there I know't,

No, sayes the other, then he lies in's throat.

570. A witty answer.

A lean, yet [...]at Recusant being confin'd

Unto a Justice house, whose wife was great,

(Not great with child, but hugely great wth meat)

At supper thus began to grope his mind,

To hoc est corpus what say you? she sed;

Marry (quoth he) I say it is well feed.

571. Gossips discourse.

When Gillian and her Gossips all are met,

And in the match of Gossiping down set,

And plain Mass-Parson cutting bread for th'table

To tell how fast they talk, my tongue's not able

One tels strange news, th'other Godsworbet cries,

The third shakes her head, alack replies,

She on her Hens, this on her Ducks do talk,

On thousand things at once their tongues do walk.

So long as Cocks can tread, and Hens will lay,

Gill, and Gills Gossips will have words to say.

572. Capa [...] incapabilis.

[Page]

Produs in's Office seem [...] a simple Scribe,

Yet hath he cunning learnt to take a Bribe.

573. A Parson and a Thief.

A lusty Parson riding on the way,

Was by a Theef commanded for to stay;

The Parson drew his sword, for well he durst,

And quickly put his foe unto the worst.

Sir (quoth the Theef) I by your habit see

You are a Church-man, and debate should flee,

You know 'tis written in the sacred word,

Iesus to Peter said, Put up thy Sword:

True (quoth the Parson) but withall then hear,

Saint Peter first had cut off Malchus ear.

574. Similes habent labra lactucas.

Dick swash (or swaggering Dick) through Fleetstreet re [...]les,

With Si [...] & Brettice waiting at his heels:

To one that would have tane the wall, he swore,

Zounds, dost not see my Punck and Paramour?

575. A Souldiers jest.

One told told a Souldier sitting at the board,

(And silent) that he had an edgelesse sword;

Who straigh [...] reply'd, Sir, I will do my best,

To break your pate, though I ne'r break a jest.

576. Good Advice.

[Page]

One to a Serving-man this Counsell sent,

To get a Master that's intelligent;

Then if of him no wages he could get,

Yet he would understand he's in his debt.

577. Theeves.

Two Theeves by night began a lock to pick,

One in the house awake, thus answer'd quick,

Why, how now? what a s [...]ir you there doe keep?

Goe, come again, we are not yet asleep.

578. Asse.

He that loves glasse without a G.

Leave out L. and what is he?

579. Enecat amplexu nimio, sic simia foetum.

Call Davus knave, he straight-way draws his sword,

And makes you prove as much, or eat your word.

But if you call him honest Rogue, or Jew,

He huggs you then for giving him his due.

580. To Festus.

Festus th'art old, and yet wouldst mary'd be:

Ere thou doe so, this counsel take of me;

Look into Lillies Grammar, there thou'lt find,

Cornu a Horn, a word still Vndeclin'd.

581. A Gentleman and his Physitian.

[Page]

A Gentleman not richest in discretion,

Was alwayes sending for his own Physitian.

And on a time, he needs would of him know,

What was the cause his pulse did goe so slow?

Why (quoth the Doctor) thus it comes to passe,

T'must needs go slow, which goes upon an Asse.

582. On Saint George.

To save a maid Saint George a Dragon slue,

Which was a noble act, if all be true;

Some say there are no Dragons; and 'tis said

There's no Saint George; pray Iove there be a maid.

583. Similis cum simili.

Tom went to the Market, where Tom met with Tom,

Tom asked Tom, what Tom? [...]ow far'st thou Tom?

Who Tom, I Tom? Is Tom (quoth Tom) you Tom;

Well God a mercy Tom; how doe you Tom?

Faith ne' [...] so well (quoth Tom) since Tom was Tom:

And thus was the greeting past 'twixt Tom and Tom.

584. Ebrius oblitus.

Fucus was fox'd last night, but 'tis conceal'd,

And would not for his Office 'twere reveal'd.

585. Dulce quod utile.

[Page]

An honest Vicar riding by the way,

Not knowing better how to spend the day,

Did sing unto himself some certain Psalms;

A blind man hearing him, strait begg'd his alms;

To whom (quoth he) with coyn I cannot part,

But God thee blesse, good man with all my heart.

O, said the blind man, greater is my losse,

When such as you doe blesse without a crosse.

586. In Dacum.

Dacus with some good colour and pretence,

Tearms his wifes beau [...]y silent eloquence;

For she doth lay more colours on her face,

Then ever Tully us'd his speech to grace.

587. In Sillam.

Though I were blind, or though I never saw him,

Yet if I should Silla but talking hear;

For a right roaring Gallant I should know him,

For of a whore he talks, and still doth swear.

588. Varietas iniquit [...]s.

Mat will not marry: true, 'cause ty'd to none,

He may have wenches new, when th'old are gone.

589. Good sawce.

I went to sup with Cinna th'other night,

And to say true (for give the Devil his right)

[Page]Though scant of meat we could a morsell get,

Yet there with store of passing sawce we met.

You ask what sawce, where pittance was so small?

This, is not hunger the best sawce of all?

590. Plagis mitior.

Katharine that grew so curst and fit for no man,

With beating soon became a Gentle-woman.

591. To a Lawyer.

To goe to Law, I have no maw,

Although my suite be sure,

For I shall lack suits to my back,

Ere I my suit procure.

592. Semel insanivimus.

Bedlam fate bless thee, thou wantst nought but wit,

And having gotten that, we'r freed from it;

Bridewell, I cannot any way dispraise thee,

For thou dost feed the poor, and jerk the lazie.

Newgate, of thee I cannot much complain;

For once a month, thou freest men out of pain;

But from the Counters, goodness it self defend us?

To Bedlam, Bridewell, or to Newgate send us,

For there in time, wit, work, or law sets free;

But here wit, work, nor law gets liberty.

593. Of himselfe.

[Page]

Some men there be, which say of me,

That I am not a Poet;

They say well, why? I doe not lye,

I write the truth; I know it.

594. Vpon Annes marriage with a Lawyer.

Anne is an Angel, what if so she be?

What is an Angel, but a Lawyers fee?

595. Aenigma.

The Devil, men say, in Devonshire dy'd of late,

But Devonshire lately liv'd in rich estate,

Till Rich his toyes did Devonshire so bewitch,

As Devonshire dy'd, and left the Devil Rich.

596. On Cupid.

Why feign they Cupid robbed of his sight?

Can he whose seat is in the eye, want light?

597. An Answer.

Experience shew, and reason doth decree

That he who sits in's own light cannot see.

598. Lucus journey.

Lucus hath travel'd with an hundred pound,

Was rob'd and left well beaten, and fast bound:

[Page]But when to share their prize, they had begun,

No miracle was wrought, yet he undon.

599. Of Nature.

Nature did well in giving poor men wit,

That fools well monifi'd may pay for it.

600. Vilescit dives avarus.

Rufus is wondrous rich, but what of that?

He lives obscurely, like a Water-Rat.

601. Visum ignotum.

That Crambo's wife's with child, her belly shews it:

But who was't got it? pray ask those that know it.

602. Vpon Marriage.

Marriage as old men note, hath lik'ned bin

Unto a publick fast, or common rout,

Where those that are without would fain get in,

And those that are within would fain get out.

603. On Annas a News-monger.

Annas hath long ears for all news to passe:

His ears must needs be long, for he's an Asse.

604. Sir Iohn.

Now good Sir Iohn (the beggar cries) I pray

Bestow your Worship's alms on me to day,

[Page]Relieve my wants (quoth he) I am your brother,

We born are, one to help and ayd another;

My brother (qd. Sir Iohn) poor wretch [...]d wight,

Why, thou mistakest me, I am a Knight;

I know't, quoth he, but hark you kind Sir Iohn,

There's many a Knight kin to the begger men.

605. Conjectus.

Conjectus says hee'l plainly prove,

Anothers Child he ought to love,

More than his Parents; which is strange,

And yet 'tis true; for I protest,

He ought to love his wife the best.

606. Aulus.

Some (speaking in their own renown)

Say that this Book was not exactly done;

I care not much, like banquets let my Books,

Rather be pleasing to the Guests than Cooks,

607. On envy.

Why say some, wealth brings envy, since 'tis known

Poor men have backbiters fifteen for one?

608. Errantes errare licet.

Pandorus spends the day by telling newes,

Of such his travels as will make you muse:

[Page]Nay sir believe it, hee'l discourse at large,

How should he else be fed at others charge?

609. To a Drunkard.

Much pratling causeth greatest thirstinesse:

Thy wife talks more then thou, why drinks she lesse.

610. On Pru.

Pru give me leave to laugh, why shouldst thou buy

Ceruse, and Stibium, and Mercury,

And sleiking Oyles, the best that may be got,

When thy whole face Prue is not worth a groat?

611. To Momus.

Leave for shame, Momus, leave to bark and cry,

My actions give thy slandrous tongue the lye.

612. To Roba.

Th'art fair, 'tis true; and pretty too, I know it;

And well bred (Roba) for thy manners show it;

But whilst thou mak'st self-praise thy onely care,

Th'art neither pretty, nor well bred, nor faire.

613. On Gallo.

Gallo's a pretty man, hath pretty hair,

A pretty hat, and cloke as one need wear;

Gallo's a Gallant, and as Gallant [...] use,

Can court his Mistresse, with a sprightly Muse:

[Page] Gallo's a dunce, for I supply his wit,

Which he makes nonsence by his reading it,

And 'tis no wonder, as all wise-men know,

For pretty Gallants to be dunces now.

614. Pudor est sua damna referre.

Peter hath lost his purse, but will conceale it,

Least she that stole it, to his shame reveale it.

615. Wheele-greace.

Men th'Axletree do Greaze, that they not screak,

But Lawyers must be Greaz'd to make them speak.

616. Who best friend.

A Louse I say, for when a man's distrest,

And others fall off, she sticks the surest.

617. O times and manners!

Why thus do men, manners and times accuse,

When men themselves, Manners and times abuse?

W'are bad in them, they worse by us doe grow,

Yet we complain that help to make them so.

618. Carpe.

Of all our Modern Writers, Carpe likes none,

He loves th'old Poets that are dead and gone:

Pardon me honest Carpe, I would not be

Laid in my grave a while yet, to please thee.

619. Non nunquam jactat egenus▪

[Page]

Iack is a Gentleman I must confesse,

For there's no womans Taylor can be lesse.

620. On Terpin.

Terpin sips wine, and gluts down meat; I think,

My Terpin drinks his meat, and eats his drink.

621. To Phaulo.

As often (Phaulo) as thou dost amisse,

Thou hast no more excuse for it, but this,

It was against thy will; why, be it so,

Against thy will thou shalt be punisht to.

622. Little, nothing, too much, enough.

The Poor have little, Beggars none,

The Rich too much, enough not one.

623. On Spurco of Oxford.

Spurco from Chandler, started Aldermen,

And trust me now most Elder-like he can

Behave himself: he ne'r appears in Town,

But in his beaver, & his great fur'd gown:

His Ruffe is set, his head set in his Ruffe;

His reverend trunks become him well enough;

[Page]He wears a hoop ring on his Thumb; he has

Of Gravidud a dose full in his face:

And trick'd and trim'd, thus bravely he supposes

Himselfe another man; but men have noses;

And they that have so, maugre Spurco's skill,

Through all his robes may smell the Chandler stil.

624. On the same.

Spurco made candles once, 'tis true enough,

Yet when I told him so, he tookt in snuffe.

625. To Damon.

What cause, what confidence draws thee to town?

Oxford can yeeld thee nothing, get thee down;

Thou canst not turn rogue for thy private ends,

Thou canst not play the baud to please thy friends.

Thou hat'st to sell thy breath at any price,

Or flatter great ones to their prejudice.

Whence wilt thou live? (unhappy wretch!) I am

A trusty friend, thou say'st, an honest man.

That's nothing, Damon, set thy wits to school,

Not to be knave here, is to be a fool.

626. Compotatio.

Tasso, Torquato, Trew-wit, Manlius,

Brave merry Greeks all, and ingenious:

[Page]Let us be mad a while: come here thou Squire

Of Pints and Pottles, pile us up a fire:

Then bring some sack up, quick you Canniball,

Some cleanly sack to wash our brains withall:

There is I am sure, no other Thespian spring,

No other Helicon to bathe us in.

Troul then your sack about boyes, never faile,

Commending dull men to their stands of Ale.

Tinkers wind off whole pottles in a breath,

I hate such puddle Coxcombs worse than death;

But we true bra [...] of Bacchus, as our use is,

With lusty Wines will sacrifice to th'Muses.

627. Conscientia testis.

What makes Antonia deem himselfe undone,

Being question'd since his Office first begun:

But that a Conscience tells him quae sumuntur

Tam male parta, male dilabuntur?

628. On Terpin.

Listen who list, my Terpins nose I sing,

And much I labour to expresse the thing:

For when he snorts, it is his trumpet shrill;

It is his conduit, for 'tis running still;

It is his drag, his E [...]le-spear in the brook;

His spade, his mattock, and his pruning hook▪

[Page]'Tis a convenient staple for a wall,

A handsome wedge to cleave his wood withall:

'Twill make a good ship-anchor when he lacks,

It is his gimlet, and his twibill axe.

Regard not then, what m [...]n thy nose abuses;

Thy nose is proper Terpin for most uses.

629. On Ned.

Have not I friends (quoth Ned) I dare to say,

I have not supt at home this twelve months day:

And very true it is, for sherking Ned,

At home (poor man) goes supperlesse to bed.

630. Pecunia prevalens.

Hand off, si [...] sauce-box! think you Mistris Phips

Allows such lobs as you to touch her lips?

But then 'tis question'd further; if you bring her

Some legem pone, that's another thing Sir.

631. On Love.

Where love begins, there dead they first desire:

A spark neglected, makes a mighty fire.

632. A Herculean taske.

To curb the courage and Wives tongue keep under.

May well be call'd Hercules thirteenth wonder.

633. On Coritia.

[Page]

Coritia, when all her Table's set

With Manchet, Sauches, and good wholsome meat,

She still gives brown bread to her Son and heir,

And tells the little boy 'twill make him fair.

If so (my Love) if it be true you say,

You never ate brown bread Coritia.

634. On Drammato.

Drammato makes new playes great store; and yet

'Tis plain, Drammato has not too much wit:

He strives too, to be pleasant, and brings in

Mimicks, and fools, to make the people grin,

I know not what the rest think, but I say,

Drammato's the best fool in every play.

635. Taming of a Shrew.

Wouldst tame thy wife: first tame her tongue,

Who thus his wife comes o'r shall overcome.

636. Liberty.

If he be well which hath what he can wish,

Why then doe men for stinging Serpents fish?

True liberty 'mongst vertues bears the bell;

He may live as he will, which may live well.

637. Drammato.

[Page]

Of all Drammato's playes that ere I see,

Nothing could ever make me laugh but he.

638. On Galba.

Galba she sayes, she never tasted Man;

Galba will lye, beleeve it, now and than.

639. To the Reader.

Such tenour I have kept here all along,

As none (I hope) can challenge me with wrong.

I injure not the least, I give no blow

To any person; he that knows not how

To scourge mans vice, unlesse he tax his name,

Makes a base Libel of an Epigram.

640. On Formidando.

Stout Formidando walks imperiously,

With tragick Bilbo girt upon his thigh;

His roping locks, his buffe becomes him well,

And to say sooth, he looks right terrible;

He swayes the Town before him, and will slay

Whatever man he be that dares gain-say:

But Formidando pawn'd his coat last night,

And Formidando's out of money quite;

[Page]Nor oaths will passe, nor credit from henceforth,

For one poor penny, or a penny-worth:

Starv'd Creditors begin to gape; and how

To quit himself he scarcely knows; that now

Stout Formidando who was wont to daunt

Whole thousands, trembles at a Pursivant.

641. The German-Dutch.

Death's not to be: so Seneca doth think:

But Dutchmen say 'tis death to cease to drink.

642. Death.

What Death is, dost thou ask of me?

Till dead I doe not know;

Come to me when thou hear'st I'm dead,

Then what 'tis I shall show.

643. On Carp and Manilla.

Manilla would with Carp be maried,

Manilla's wise I trow:

But Carp by no means will Manilla wed;

Carp's the wiser of the two.

644. On Carp.

These are my verses which Carp reads; 'tis known;

But when Carp makes them non-sense, th'are his own.

645. To Phaulos.

[Page]

Thou art offended (Phaulos) as I hear,

Because I sometimes call thee whoremaster;

My nature's blunt, and so will ever be;

I call a spade a spade, pray pardon me.

646. To Coracine.

What Crispulus is that in a new gown,

All trim'd with loops and buttons up and down?

That leans there on his arm in private chat

With thy young wife, what Crispulus is that?

He's Proctor of a Court, thou say'st, and does

Some businesse of my wives: thou brainlesse goose!

He does no businesse of thy wives, not he,

He does thy businesse (Coracine) for thee.

647. On Pru.

Pru praises her complexion, nay swears

She dares compare with any of her years;

And very true it is, that Prudence sayes,

I saw not better sold these many dayes.

648. The Parret.

If lawful't be, of things t'invent the name;

With pratling Parret, prater is the same.

649. To Maronilla.

[Page]

My Maronilla, I could easily spare

Thy hands and arms, thy shoulders and fraught haire,

I could well spare thy feet, thy legs and thighs,

Thy tongue and teeth, thy lips, cheeks, forehead, eyes:

And not to reckon each part severall,

My Maronilla I could spare thee all.

650. Study.

Some men grow mad by studying much to know;

But who grows mad by studying good to grow?

651. To Lionell.

Lionell shows his honourable scars,

And labours to invite me to the wars:

But I will not by no means Lionell;

I doe not love to live ill, and drink well.

652. On Pumilio a Dwarfe.

Pumilio lying in despaire

Of further life, said, take no care

To make a Tomb for me, good folks,

I will be buried in a Box.

653. Sharpe sauce.

[Page]

Kisses and savours are sweet things,

But those have thornes, and these have stings.

654. On Drad-nought.

Drad-nought was for his many riots laid

Ith'Counter lately, now he's wondrous staid.

655. On Phaulos and Gellia.

Phaulos he visits, Gellia she's sick:

I am no Wizard, yet I know their trick.

656. To his Friend.

I will not be a Foe to any,

Nor be familiar with too many;

And twice I will not love my friend,

But whom I love, I'l love to th'end.

657. Maried Folke.

Man love thy wife; thy Husband, wife obay:

Wives are our Heart, we should be Head alway.

658. On Pru and Galla.

[Page]

Why are Pru's teeth so white, and Galla's black?

The reason is soon knowne:

Pru buyes new teeth as often as she lacks,

But Galla wears her owne.

659. On Bombo.

When Bombo preaches (and that's thrice a year)

Nothing but wit sounds wisely in his ear.

His [...]ustian phrases make a noise; each strain

And swelling rapture fills his mouth again:

He's parcell-States-man, parcell-Priest, and so

If you observe, he's parcel Poet to.

Bombo thy fetches▪ and thy fangles may

Become a stage perhaps, but us'd this way,

Th'are base, and impious: let me prevail,

Talk till thy strong lines choak thee; if they fail,

Commence at Tyburn in a cart, sweet Poet,

And there a strong line will for cert [...]in do it.

660. On Lulls.

Lulls swears he is all heart, but you'l suppose

By his Probassis, that he is all nose.

661. On Paeto.

[Page]

Implore the Muses, and their two top'd hill,

Still to supply fresh matter to thy quill:

Crave Phoebus aid, call Homer with the throng

Of all the Bardes, Learn'd Manes, to thy song.

I dare not (Paeto) be so bold, as do it,

Nor seem so like what I am not; a Poet.

My page invokes no deities: here love,

And indignation the best Muses prove.

662. On the same.

My Paeto thinks he sings melodious,

And like a Swan: alas he's but a Goose.

663. On Plutus.

Plutus, rich Plutus would have me b [...]stow

Some New-years gift, as other neighbours do.

Why I will send thee what thou want'st my friend;

Nothing thou want'st, and nothing I will send.

664. To Phocion.

Thou buy'st up all that thou canst light upon,

This is the way to sell all Phocion.

665. To Lividus.

Doe not raile basely, doe not swell with spight,

Doe not scoffe (Lividus) at what I write:

[Page]For ridden, trust me, I can hardly pace,

Nor bear thee gently like a patient Asse;

But trot amain, and if thou chance to kick,

I shall wince too, and gall thee to the quick.

Flinging full fast till I have thrown thee off,

Till I have shook thy snaffle from thy mouth;

And then in triumph (Lividus) look to't,

I spurn thy pride and follies under foot.

666. On his Verses.

He's blind with love that likes them ev'ry one,

And he is blind with envy, that likes none.

667. Truth.

Truth is best found out by the time and eyes;

Falshood wins credit by uncertainties.

668. Time.

Time all consumes, both us and every thing,

We time consume; thus, both one song doe sing.

669. To Bombo.

Most men condemn thee Bombo, when they hear

Thy high and mighty Sermons, but I swear

Thou preachest movingly; and well I may;

Thou preachest all thy Auditors away.

670. On Plutus.

[Page]

Rich Plutus needs would buy a fool, and paid

Fifty good pounds: but after triall made,

Perceiving him an understanding man,

Plutus would have his money back again.

671. To Linus.

Thou wast my debtor when I lent the coin,

Pay me mine own, and then I wil be thine.

672. Leven.

Love is a Leven, and a loving kiss

The leven of a loving sweet-heart is

673. To Phaulos.

Thou ask'st me whom I think best man to be,

He's the best (Phaulos) that is least like thee.

674. To Claudius and Linus.

Ungodly Claudius, to be good,

Wants nothing but a will:

Lewd Linus, also, wanteth nought

But power to be ill.

675. Hot-waters.

Our trickling Tears expresse our private Love,

Love causeth tears; strange! fire should water prove.

676. On Grotto.

[Page]

Talk but of death, Grotto begins to rage,

And sweat, and swear, and yet he's blind with age.

Fie on thee Grotto, what a coil you keep?

Thy windowes they are shut, 'tis time to sleep.

677. On Boreman.

Boreman takes tole, cheats, flatters, lyes, yet Boreman

For all the Devill helps, will be a poor man.

678. On Crab.

Crab being caught, and in the Serjeants power,

For shame and anger look'd both red and sower.

679. On Fargo.

Fargo by his wit and pleasing tongue,

Hath won a wench that's wondrous fair & young;

The match (he saith) is halfe concluded, he

Indeed is wondrous willing; but not she.

680. On Richard.

Dick being drunk, in bed thought on his sin,

And that lewd course of life he lived in,

Yet long hereof for thirst, Dick could not think,

But, Drawer, cryes, now for thy smallest drink.

681. To Spruce.

[Page]

Spruce wears a Comb about him, alwayes he

To prune and smooth his pollisht haire:

The Cock's ne'r too without his Comb you see,

Spruce 'tis a Coxcomb then you weare.

682. On This Wise age.

The Wise men were but seaven: now we scarce know

So many fooles, the world so wise doth grow.

683. On Profuso.

Unstayd Profuso hath run thorough all,

Almost the story of the Prodigall,

Yet swears, he never with the Hoggs did dine,

That's true, for none durst trust him with their swine.

684. On a fire in Towne.

One night through all the streets the men did cry,

Fire, fire! at which I wak't and wondred by;

Not that dry wood should burn, but because all

Did cry fire, when for water they should call.

685. To either Vniversity.

InduDIV2ent Mother, and kind Aunt, no where

Throughout all Europe find I such a paire;

[Page]From whose faire breasts those milky rivers run,

That thousands feed, else thousands were undone.

Oh were it not that some are wean'd too young,

And some doe suck (like [...] Esse [...] Calves) too long.

686. On Mounsieur Congee.

A proper handsome courtly man indeed,

And well set out with cloaths, can for a need

Discourse with legs, and quarter congees, and

Talk halfe an houre with help of foot and hand;

But when I view'd this Mounsier clean throughout,

I found that he was onely Man without.

687. To my Reader.

My person is another as I list,

I now but act the Epigrammatist.

688. On Physitians.

Physitians are most miserable men,

that cannot be deny'd:

For they are never truly well, but when

mo [...] men are ill beside.

689. On Puff.

Puff quarrels in his cups, and then will fight,

Is beaten sober; troth he is served right.

690. To Flash.

[Page]

Flash when thou'rt drunk, then in thy own conceit

Thou'rt valiant, wise, great, honest, rich, discreet.

Troth Flash be alwayes drunk! for well I know

When you are sober you are nothing so.

691. Wi [...]tily wicked.

Good wine (they say) makes Vinegar most ta [...]t,

Thou, the more witty, the more wicked art.

692. A Doctor and his Patient.

A Doctor told his patient Omphida;

The grief she felt was a Sciatica:

Which she not perfect how to nominate,

Mistaking cryes, O my Certificate!

693. On Mounsier Powder-wig.

Oh doe but mark you crisped Sir you meet!

How like a Pageant he doth stalk the street?

See how his perfum'd head is powderd ore:

Twu'd stink else, for it wanted Salt before.

694. To Rash.

Rash swear not! think not 'cause you swear that I

Believe you, no: he that will swear will lye.

695. Drunk-bounty.

[Page]

I'l tell you why the drunk so lavish are,

They have too much, nay more then they can bear.

696. To Gut.

Gut eats and drinks, doth nothing else but swill,

His teeth doe grind, his mouth's the water-mill.

697. To Simple.

Simple, you know I gave you good advice;

Little to say, that men might think you wise;

If you'l proclaim your selfe a foole you may:

I onely tell you now what others say.

698. On Quaff.

To quench his sorrows Quaff drinks very free,

Sorrow is dry, he sayes, and so is he.

699. To Tom Coriat.

Of all the Toms that ever yet were nam'd,

Was never Tom like as Tom Coriat fam'd.

Tom Thumb is dumb, untill the pudding creep,

In which he was intomb'd, then out doth peep.

Tom Fool may go to School, but ne'r be taught

Speak Greek, with which our Tom his tongue is [...]raught.

[Page] Tom Asse may passe, but for all his long ears,

No such rich Jewels as our Tom he wears.

Tom Tell-troth is but forth, but truth to tell,

Of all Toms, this Tom, bears away the bell.

700. To a fat Vsurer.

Fat folks we say by nature are most free:

You and your purse are fat, and yet I see

Your hand and that still shut, the reasons this;

In costive flesh thy leane soule buried is.

701. On Brisk.

Brisk brag'd of's ready wit; I tempting him

But for one Distick, did propound this theam

Nothing: I [...] cannot be, he wondring said

That out of nothing ought shu'd ere be made.

Dull Brisk thou ne'r couldst tune Apollo's Lyre;

A pure steeld-wit, will strike Mercuriall fire

Out of the flintiest subject: but thy head

Is all compos'd of softer mettle, lead.

702. Semel insanivimus omnes.

Thus have I waded through a worthlesse task,

Whereto I trust there's no exception ta'n,

For meant to none, I answer such as ask,

[Page]'Tis like apparell made in Birchen-lane;

If any please to suit themselves and wear it,

The blame's not mine, but theirs that needs will bear it.

703. On Sullen.

Sullen will eat no meat, but peevishly

Replies, I care not, nor I will not, I:

Troth I commend his abstinence, 'tis great,

When having such a stomach hee'l not eat.

704. To Banks.

When Spendall asks to borrow, you reply,

You know not when hee'l pay you; troth nor I.

705. To Boldface.

Boldface, I wonder at thy impudence,

That da [...]'st affi [...]m things so against all sence:

For shame ben't impudent and foolish too!

And think all men are fools 'cause you are so.

706. Of his Booke.

Part of the work remaines; one part is past:

And here my Ship rides, having Anchor cast.

707. On Bearill.

[Page]

Bearill because his wife is somewhat ill,

Uncertain in her health, indifferent still;

He turns her out of doors without reply:

Wondring at which, I askt the reason why?

In sicknesse and in health, sayes he, I'm bound

Onely to keep her, either weak or sound;

But now shee's neither, he replies; you'l see,

Shee'l quickly now or mend or end, sayes he.

708. On Bib.

Wisdome doth teach us silence, now Bib is

With drink made speechlesse, is he not then wise

709. On Silly.

Silly by chance did loose his Diary

Of wit, which he had got in company:

No marvel he now so mute and pensive sits,

How can he choose, since he hath lost his wits.

710. Ad sesquipidales poetastros.

Hence Brauron's God to Tauriminion,

And you Levaltoring Corybant [...] be gon;

[Page]Fly thundering Bronsterops to Hippocrene,

And Mauros to Nymph-nursing Mytelene;

Grisly Megaera's ne [...]romantique spell

Depart to black nights Acherontick cell:

Avaunt transformed Epidaurian,

Unto th'Antipod Isles of Trabroban,

Away Cyllenius plumy-pinnion'd God,

With thy peace making wand, snakecharming rod,

And all the rest not daring look upon

Vranus blood-born brood, and fell Typhon;

Chimera's victor great Bellerophon,

Thou vanquisher of Spanish Geryon.

Stout Asdruball Sicilian Lord of yore,

Thou that destroy'dst the Caledonian bore,

Couragious conqueror of Cretes Minotaure,

Thou pride of Mermeno's cloudy Semitaure.

Perseus whose marble stone transforming shield,

Enforc'd the Whale, Andromeda to yeeld,

You Argonautes that scour'd Syndromades,

And passd the quick-sands of Symplegades,

Help Demogorgon, King of heaven and earth,

Chaos, Lucina, at Litigiums birth,

The world with child looks for delivery

Of Canibals, or Poetophagy.

A devilish brood from Ericthonius,

From Iphidemia, Nox, and Erebus,

Chide Pegasus for op'ning Helicon,

And Poets damn Pyry-Phlegeton;

[Page]Or make this monstrous birth abortive be,

Or else I will shake hands with Poetry.

—Nihil sic nisi Carmina desunt.

[figure]

[Page] EPITAPHS.

[Page]

Marmora Maeonii vincunt menumenta libelli;

Vivitur ingenio, caetera mortis erunt.

The Muses works stone-Monumen [...] outlast;

'Tis wit keeps life, all else Death will down cast.

1. On a Lyer.

GOod passenger! here lyes one here,

That living did lye every where.

2. On a Dyer.

He lives with God none can deny,

That while he liv'd to th'world did dy.

3. On a Iugler.

Death came to see thy tricks, and cut in twain

Thy threed, why didst not make it whole again?

4. On Mr. Fish.

[Page]

Worm's bait for Fish, but here is a great change,

Fish bait for worms, is not that very strange?

5. On a Child.

A child and dead? alas! how could it come?

Surely thy thread of life was but a thrumme.

6. On Mr. Do.

Do is my name, and here I lye,

My Grammar tels me, Do fit Di.

7. On Taylor a Serjeant, kill'd by a Horse.

A Taylour is a Theef, a Sergeant is worse,

Who here lies dead, god-a-massy Horse.

8. On Mr. Thomas Best.

With happy starres he sure is blest,

Where [...]'ere he goes, that stil is Best.

9. On Robin.

Round Robin's gone, and this grave doth inclose

The pudding of his doublet and his hose.

10. On Bell the Tinker.

[Page]

Bell though thou dy'dst decrep [...]t, lame, forlorn,

Thou was't a man of Mettle, I'l be sworn.

11. On proud Tygeras.

Proud and foolish, so it comes to passe,

He liv'd a Tyger, and he dy'd an Asse.

12. On Iohn Cofferer.

Here lyes Iohn Cofferer, and takes his rest,

Now he hath chang'd a Coffer for a Chest.

13. On blind and deaf Dick Freeman.

Here lyes Dick Freeman,

That could not hear nor see man.

14. On a Miller.

Death without warning was as bold as brief,

When he kil'd two in one, Miller and Thief.

15. On a Lady.

Here lyes one dead under this marble stone,

Who when she liv'd, lay under more than one.

16. On a Wrestler.

Death to the Wrestler gave a pretty fall,

Tript up his heels, and took no hold at all.

17. On Iohn Death.

[Page]

Here's Death interred, that liv'd by bread,

Then all should live, now Death is dead.

18. On an Infant.

The reeling world turn'd Poet, made a Play;

I came to see's, dislik'd it, went my way.

19. On a little but very ingenuous youth.

Grim Death perceiving, He had far out ran

The elder youth [...]; mistook him for a man.

20. On a Lady dying quickly after her Husband.

He first deceased, she a little try'd

To live without him, lik'd it not, and dy'd.

21. On Mr. Stone.

Jerusalems curse is not fulfill'd in me,

For here a stone upon a stone you see.

22. On Mr. Strange.

Here lies one Strange, no Pagan, Turk, nor Jew,

It's strange, but not so strange as it is true.

23. A Forts Epitaph.

[Page]

Reader, it was born, and cry'd,

Crack'd so, smelt so, and so dy'd.

24. On Mr. Anguish a scholler.

Some doe for anguish weep, for anger I,

That ignorance should live, and art should dye.

25. On a lovely young youth.

From thy quick death, conclude we must,

The fairest flowers are gather'd first.

26. On Mr. Thomas A [...]len.

No Epitaphs need make the just man fam'd,

The good are prais'd when they are onely nam'd.

27. On a Lady.

Finis and Bonum are converted, so,

That every good thing to an end must go.

28. On a pious Benefactor.

The Poor, the World, the Heavens, and the Grave,

His Alms, his Praise, his Soule, and Body have.

29. On a Poet in Prison.

[Page]

Though I in prison here doe lye,

My Muse shall live altho I dye.

30. On a poor Poet.

Here lies the Poet buried in the night,

Whose purse, men know it, was exceeding light.

31. A man and his wife.

Viator siste, ecce miraculum!

Vir & uxor hic non ligitunt.

32. On a Pauls-walker.

Defessus sum ambulando.

33. On a Scrivener.

May all men by these presents testifie,

A lurching Scrivener here fast bound doth lye.

34. On one that cheated his Father.

Here lies a man, who in a span

Of life, beyond his Father ran.

35. On a Cut-purse.

[Page]

Death hath that Cut-purse seiz'd on at Alhallows,

Who by good hap hath so escap'd the Gallows.

36. On a young great wit.

Great wits are dangerous, for then,

It seems, they seldome come to men.

37. On an Vsurer.

That all those goods and riches scrap'd together,

Should with himself depart, & knows not whither.

38. On a Captain.

Who late in wars did dread no foes in field,

Now free of scars his life in peace doth yeeld.

39. On a Potter.

He that on clay his chiefest trust repos'd,

Is now in clay, in stead of dust repos'd.

40. On a Merchant.

Who from accounts and reckning [...] ne'r could rest,

At length hath summ'd up his Quietus est.

41. On a young man newly maried, dyed.

[Page]

The world and thou art quickly gone about,

That but now en [...]ring in, art entred out.

42. On Iohn Friend.

How ere he fail'd in's life, 'tis like Iack Friend

Was no mans foe but's own, and there's an end.

43. On Christopher Fowler.

Let all say what they can, ' [...]is known Kit Fowle [...]

Was held an honest man, though no good Bowler

44. On Dorothy Rich.

Here resteth young Doll Rich, that dainty drab,

Who troubled long with itch, dy'd of the scab.

45. On Ralph.

Ralph bids adue to pleasures good or ill,

But tels you true, 'tis much against his will.

46. On Walter Moone.

Here lies Wat Moone, that great Tobacconist,

Who dy'd too soon for lack of had I wist.

47. On Iohn Cooling a Player-foole.

[Page]

Death hath too soon remov'd from us Io. Cooling,

That was so well belov'd, and liv'd by fooling.

48. On a Welshman.

Who living least▪ espy'd his life should leese,

By meer Metheglin dy'd; and tosted Cheese.

49. On Io. Long.

Here sleep I. Long, who liv'd till New-year [...]-tide,

Full fourscore strong, but then fell sick and dy'd.

50. On Stephen Spooner.

Death hath time borrow'd of our neighbour Spooner.

Whose wife much sorrow'd that he di'd no sooner.

51. On a Lawyer.

God works wonders now and than,

Here lyes a Lawyer dy'd an honest man.

52. On a Waterman.

Here sleep [...] Will Slater, why? by death [...] command,

Hath left the water to possesse the land.

53. On Sir Francis Drake.

[Page]

England his heart, his Corps the waters have,

And that which raisd his fame, became his grave.

54. On a Gallant.

Who cloth of Tissue wore, here flat doth lye,

Having no issue, more than that in's thigh.

55. On Iohn Garret.

Gone is Iohn Garret, who to all mens thinking,

For love to Claret, kill'd himself with drinking.

56. On notable Ned.

Cause of the good nought must be said but good,

'Tis well for Ned that nought he understood.

57. On a Taylour who dyed of the stitch.

Here lies a Taylour in this ditch,

Who liv'd and dyed by the stitch.

58. On a travelling Beggar.

Here lies a Vagrant person whom our laws

(Of late grown strict) denied passage, 'cause

He wandring thus, therefore return he must,

From whence at first he hither came; to dust.

59. On a Mason.

[Page]

So long the Mason wrought on others wals,

That his own house of clay to ruine fals:

No wonder, spitefull death wrought his annoy,

He us'd to build, and death seeks to destroy.

60. On a Schoolmaster.

The Grammar School, a long time taught I have,

Yet all my skill could not Decline the grave,

But yet I hope it one day will be shown

In no Case save the Ablative alone.

61. On Prince Henry.

I have no vein in Verse, but if I could

Distill on every word a Pearl, I would.

Our sorrows pearls drop, not from pens, but eyes,

Whilst other Muses write, mine onely cryes.

62. On the death of Mr. Newcomin of Clarehall in Cambridge.

Weep ye Clarenses, weep all about,

For New-com-in is new gone out;

Weep not Clarenses, weep not a [...] all,

He's gone but from Clare to Trinity-Hal.

63. On Hobson the Carrier.

[Page]

Hobson (what's out of sight, is out of mind)

Is gone and left his Letters here behind,

He that with so much paper us'd to meet

Is now, alas! content to take one sheet.

64. Another.

He that such carriage store, was wont to have,

Is carried now himselfe unto his grave:

O strange! he that in life ne'r made but one,

Six Carriers makes, now he is dead and gone.

65. Another.

Here Hobson lyes, prest with a heavy load,

Who now is gone the old and common road;

The waggon he so lov'd, so lov'd to ride,

That he was drawing on whilst that he dy'd.

66. Another.

Hobson's not dead, but Charls the Northern Swain

Hath sent for him to draw his lightsome wain.

67. On a Footman.

This nimble Footman ran away from death,

And here he rested being out of breath;

[Page]Here death him over-took, made him his slave,

And sent him on an arrand to the grave.

68. Iustus Lipsius.

Some have high mountains of Parian stone,

And some in brasse carve their inscription,

Some have their Tombs of costly marbles rear'd;

But in our tears onely are they interr'd.

69. On a Child.

Like Birds of prey,

Death snatche away,

This harmlesse Dove,

Whose soule so pure

Is now secure

In heaven above.

70. On a rich Gentleman.

Of woods and plains, and hills and vales,

Of fields, of meads, of parks, and pales;

Of all I had, this I possesse;

I need no more, I have no lesse.

71. On a Child.

That flesh is grasse

Its grace a flower,

[Page]Read ere you passe

Whom worms devoure.

72. On a Lock-smith.

A zealous Lock-smith dy'd of late,

Who by this time's at heaven gate.

The reason why he will not knock,

Is 'cause he means to pick the lock.

73. On a Collier.

Here lies the Collier Ienkin Dashes,

By whom death nothing gain'd he swore,

For living he was dust and ashes,

And being dead he is no more.

74. On Dick Pinner.

Here lyes Dick Pinner, O ungentle death!

Why didst thou rob Dick Pinner of his breath?

For living, he by scraping of a pin,

Made better dust than thou hast made of him.

75. On a Sack-sucker.

Good Reader blesse thee, be assur'd,

The spirit of Sack lyes here immur'd:

[Page]Who havock't all he could come by

For Sack, and here quite sack'd doth ly.

76. On a Child.

Into this world as stranger to an Inne,

This Child came Guest-wise, where when it had bin

A while, and found nought worthy of his stay,

He onely broke his fast, and went away.

77. On a Candle.

Here lyes the Chandlers chiefest joy,

Here lyes the Schollers pale-fac'd boy;

Having nought else but skin and bone

Dy'd of a deep Consumption.

78. On T. H. the Pannier-man of the Temple.

Here lyes Tom Hacket this Marble under,

Who often made the Cloysters thunder;

He had a horn, and when he blew i [...],

Call'd many a Cuckold that never knew it.

79. On a young Infant.

The life of Man

Is but a span,

[Page]The common saying is;

But death did pinch

His to an inch,

Ere he could say, what's this?

Yet he hath gain'd, not lost, thereby

Changing time for eternity.

80. On Mr. Calfes death.

Heaven of his soul take charge, for he,

Of all his dayes liv'd but the halfe;

Who might have grown to be an Oxe,

But dyed (as you see) a Calfe.

81. On Bolus.

If gentlenesse could tame the Fates, or wit

Delude them, Bolus had not dyed yet;

But one that death o'r-rules in judgement sits,

And sayes our sins are stronger then our wits.

82. On a Clowne.

Softly tread this earth upon,

For here lyes our Corydon:

Who through care to save his sheep

Watch'd too much, Oh let him sleep!

83. On a Child.

[Page]

As carefull Nurses on their beds doe lay,

Their babes which would too long the wantons play,

So to prevent my youths ensuing crimes,

Nature my Nurse laid me to bed betime [...].

85. On a Musitian.

Be not offended at our sad complaint,

You Quire of Angels, that have gain'd a Saint;

Where all perfection met in skill and voyce,

We mourne our losse, but yet commend your choyce.

85. On a Gardener.

Could he forget his death that every houre

Was emblem'd to it, by the fading flowre?

Should he not mind his end? yes, sure he must,

That still was conversant 'mongst beds of dust.

86. On a Drunkard.

Bibax the Drunkard, while he liv'd would say,

The more I drink, the more methinks I may;

But see how death hath prov'd his saying just,

For he hath drunk himselfe as dry as dust.

87. On a Child.

[Page]

Tread softly passenger, for here doth lye,

A dainty Jewell of sweet Infancy:

A harmlesse babe, that onely came and cry'd

In baptism to be wash'd from sin, and dy'd.

88. Another.

In this marble Casket lyes

A matchlesse Jewell of rich pri [...]e,

Whom nature in the worlds disdain

But shew'd, and put it up again.

89. On Mr. Sands.

Who would live in others breath?

Fame deceives the dead mans trust,

When our names doe change by death,

Sands I was, and now am dust.

90. On Mr. Goad.

Go adde this Verse, to Goad's herse,

For Goad is gone, but whither?

Goad himselfe is gone to God,

'Twas deaths Goad drove him thither.

91. On Monday.

[Page]

Hallowed be the Sabbath

And farewell all worldly pelf;

The week begins on Tuesday,

For Munday hath hang'd himself.

92. On a Child.

Here a pretty Baby lyes

Sung asleep with Lullabies:

Pray be silent, and not stir

Th'easie earth that covers her

93. On a Matron.

Here lies a wife was chast, a mother blest;

A modest Matron, all these in one chest:

Sarah unto her Mate, Mary to God,

Martha to men, whilst here she had aboad.

94. In Latine thus.

Vxor casta, Parens felix, Matrona pudica,

Sara viro, mundo Martha, Maria Deo.

95. On a Souldier.

When I was young, in Wars I shed my blood,

Both for my King, and for my Countries good:

[Page]In elder years, my care was chief to be

Souldier to him that shed his blood for me.

96. On Mr. Dumbelow, that dyed of the winde Collicke.

Dead is Dick Dumbelow

Would you the reason know?

Could his tail have but spoken,

His stout heart had not broken.

97. On Mr. Kitchins death.

Kitchin lyes here (for so his name I found)

I see Death keeps his Kitchin under ground.

And the poor worms (that flesh of late did eat)

Devour their Kitchin now for want of meat.

98. On Isabella a Curtezan.

He who would write an Epitaph,

Whereby to make fair Is'bell laugh,

Must get upon her, and write well,

Here underneath lies Isabell.

99. On a vertuous wife.

In brief, to speak thy praise, let this suffice,

Thou wert a wife most loving, modest, wise,

[Page]Of children carefull, to thy neighbours kind,

A worthy Mistresse, and of liberall mind.

100. On Mr. Christopher Lawson.

Death did not kill unjustly this good man,

But death, in death, by death did shew his power,

His pious deeds and thoughts to heaven fore-ran,

There to prepare his soule a blessed bower.

101. On a Welshman.

Here lyes puryed under these stones,

Shon ap Williams, ap Shinkyn, ap Shones,

Her was porn in Whales, her was kill'd in France,

Her went to Cot by a very mis-shance.

La ye now.

102. On Mr. Carter, burnt by the great powder-mischance in Finsbury.

Here lies an honest Carter (yet no clown)

Unladen of his cares, his end the Crown,

Vanish'd from hence, even in a cloud of smoke,

A blown-up Citizen, and yet not broke.

103. On a Lady dying in Childbed.

Born at the first to bring another forth,

She leav [...] the world, to leave the world her worth:

[Page]Thus Phoenix-like, as she was born to bleed,

Dying her selfe, renews it in her seed.

104. On a Faulconer.

Death with her talon [...] having seiz'd this prey,

After a tedious flight, trus [...]'d him away:

We mark'd him, here he fell, whence he shall rise

At call, till then unretriv'd here he lyes.

105. On Ioan Truman who had an issue in her legge.

Here lyes crafty Ioan, deny it who can,

Who liv'd a false maid, and dy'd a Truman,

And this trick she had, to make up her cunning,

Whilst one leg stood still, the other was running.

106. On a youth.

Now thou hast heaven for merit, but 'tis strange,

Morality should envy at thy change:

God thought us unfit for such as thee,

And made thee consort of eternity.

We grieve not then that thou to heaven art taken▪

But that thou hast thy friends so soon forsaken.

107. On Prince Henry.

Did he dye young? O no, it could not be,

For I know few that liv'd so long as he,

[Page]Till God and all men lov'd him; then behold,

The man that lives so long, must needs be old.

108. On— borne before his time.

Greiv'd at the world and times, this early Bloom

Look'd round, and sigh'd, and stole into his Tomb,

His fall was like his Birth, too quick; this Rose

Made hast to spread, and the same hast to close:

Here lyes his dust, but his best Tomb's fled hence,

For Marble cannot last like Innocence.

109. On a very fat man.

Under this pebble stone,

Here fast sleepeth one,

And that is not two;

Yet was without doubt

Far bigger about,

Then both I, and you;

His kidneys encreast

So much, that his wast

Was hooped all round:

But his girdle death cuts,

And down fell his guts,

'Bouts heels to the ground.

110. On Iohn Newter.

Reader, Iohn Newter who erst plaid

The Jack on both sides, here is laid

[Page]Who like the herb Iohn indifferent

Was not for King, or Parliament,

Yet fast and loose he could not play

With death, he took him at a Bay;

What side his soule hath taken now

God or Devil? we hardly know:

But this is certain, since he dy'd

He hath been mist of neither side.

111. On Hocas Pocas.

Here Hocas lyes with his tricks and his knocks,

Whom death hath made sure as his Juglers box:

Who many hath cozen'd by his leiger-demain,

I [...] presto convey'd and here underlain:

Thus Hocas he's here, and here he is not,

While death plaid the Hocas, and brought him to th'pot.

112. On a Child of two years old, being born and dying in July.

Here is laid a Iuly flowre

With surviving tears bedew'd,

Not despairing of that houre

When her spring shall be renew'd;

Ere she had her summer seen,

She was gather'd fresh & green.

113. On a Cobler.

[Page]

Death at a Coblers door oft made a stand,

And alwayes found him on the mending hand;

At last came death in very foul weather,

And ript the sole from the upper leather:

Death put a trick upon him, and what was't?

The Cobler call'd for's Awle, death brought his last.

114. On a young Gentlewoman.

Nature in this small volume was about

To perfect what in woman was left out:

Yet carefull least a piece so well begun,

Should want preservatives when she had done:

Ere she could finish what she undertook,

Threw dust upon it, and shut up the Book.

115. On a Scholler.

Forbear Friend t'unclaspe this book,

Only in the forefront look,

For in it have errours bin,

Which made the Author call it in:

Yet know this, 't shall have more worth,

At the second coming forth.

116. On a young Woman.

[Page]

The body which within this earth is laid,

Twice six weeks knew a wife, a Saint, a maid;

Fair maid, chast wife, pure Saint, yet 'tis not strange

She was a woman, therefore pleasd to change:

And now shees dead, some woman doth remain,

For still she hopes once to be chang'd again.

117. On Brawne.

Here Brawne the quondam begger lyes,

Who counted by his tale,

Full sixscore winters in his life;

Such vertue is in Ale.

Ale was his meat, Ale was his drink,

Ale did him long reprive,

And could he still have drunk his Ale,

He had been still alive.

118. On a Candle.

Here lyes (I wot) a little star

That did belong to Iupiter,

Which from him Prometheus stole,

And with it a fire-coale.

Or this is that I mean to handle,

Here doth lye a farthing Candle,

[Page]That was lov'd well, having its light,

But loosing that, now bids good night.

119. On M. R.

Who soonest dies, lives long enough,

Our life is but a blast or puffe.

I did resist and strive with death,

But soon he put me out of breath;

He of my life thought to bereave me,

But I did yield onely to breath me.

O'r him I shall in triumph sing,

Thy conquest Grave, where is thy sting?

120. On a Child.

Here she lies a prtty bud,

Lately made of flesh and blood:

Who, as soon, fell fast asleep,

As her little eyes did peep;

Give her strewings; but not stir

The earth that lightly covers her.

121. On an Inne-keeper.

It is not I that dye, I do but leave an Inn,

Where harboun'd was with me, all filthy kind of sin;

It is not I that dye▪ I doe but now begin

Into etenall [...]oy by faith to enter in.

[Page]Why weep you then my friends, my parents, and my kin?

Lament ye when I loose, but weep not when I win.

122. On a Cobler.

Come hither, read my gentle friend,

And here behold a Coblers end.

Longer in length his life had gone,

But that he had no Last so long;

O mighty Death, whose dart can kill

The man that made him souls at wil [...]

123. On M. Aire.

Under this stone of Marble faire,

Lies th'body 'ntomb'd of Gervase Aire.

He dy'd not of an [...]gue-fit,

Nor surfeited of too much wit,

Me thinks this was a wondrous death,

That Aire should dye for want of breath

124. On Mr. Rice. M.

Who can doubt (Rice) to what eternall place

Thy soul is fled, that did but know thy face?

Whose body was so light it might have gone

To heaven without a resurrection;

Indeed thou wert all type, thy limbs were signes,

Thy Arteries but Mathematick lines;

[Page]As if two soules had made the compound good,

Which both should live by faith, & none by blood.

125. On Thomas Iones.

Here for the nonce

Came Thomas Ionce

In St. Iileses Church to lye,

None welch before,

None Welshman more

Till Shon Clerk dye.

Ile tole the bell,

Ile ring his knell,

He dyed well,

He's saved from Hell:

And so farewell

Tom Ionce.

126. On a young man.

Surpriz'd by grief and sicknesse here I lye,

Stopt in my middle age, and soon made dead,

Yet doe not grudge at God, if soon thou dye,

But know he trebles favours on thy head.

Who for thy morning work equals thy pay,

With those that have endur'd the heat oth'day.

127. On the two Littletons that were drowned at Oxford, 1636.

[Page]

Here lye we (Reader, canst thou not admire?)

Who both at once by water dy'd and fire,

For whilst our bodies perish'd in the deep,

Our soules in love burnt, so we fell asleep:

Let this be then our Epitaph: Here lyes

Two, yet but one, one for the other dyes.

128. On a Butler.

That death should thus from hence our Butler catch,

Into my mind it cannot quickly sink;

Sure death came thirsty to the buttry-hatch,

When he (that busi'd was) deny'd him drink.

Tut! 'twas not so, 'tis like he gave him liquor,

And death made drunk, him made away the quicker;

Yet let not others grive too much in mind

(the Butler's gone) the keys are left behind.

129. On M. Cook.

To God, his Country, and the poor, he had

A zealous soule, free heart, and lib'rall mind.

His wife, his Children, and his kindred sad,

Lack of his love, his care and kindnesse find:

Yet are their sorrows asswag'd with the thought

He hath attain'd the happinesse he sought.

130. On a Porter.

[Page]

At length by works of wondrous fate,

Here lyes the Porter of Winchester-gate:

If gone to heav'n, as much I feare:

He can be but a Porter there:

He fear'd not hell so much [...]or's sin,

As for th'great rapping, and oft coming in.

131. Vpon one who dyed in Prison.

Reader, I liv'd, enquire no more,

Left a spy enter in at doore,

Such are the times, a dead man dare

Not trust nor credit common aire,

But dye and lye Entombed here,

By me, I'l whisper in thine ear

Such things as onely dust to dust

(And without witnesse) may entrust.

132. On Waddam Colledge Butler.

Mans life is like a new-tunn'd Cask they say,

The formost draught, is oft times cast away,

Such are our younger years, the following still

Are more and more inclining unto ill;

Such is our manhood, untill age at length,

Doth sowre its sweetnes, & doth stop its strength:

[Page]Then death prescribing to each thing its bounds,

Takes what is lef [...], and turns it all to grounds.

133. On a Horse.

Here lies a Horse, who dyed but

To make his Master go on foot.

A miracle should it be so:

The dead to make the lame to go;

Yet Fate would have it, that the same

Should make him goe, that made him lame.

134. On an old Man a Residenciary.

Tread, Sirs, as lightly as you can

Upon the grave of this old man.

Twice forty (bating but one yeare,

And thrice three weeks) he lived here.

Whom gentle fate translated hence

To a more happy Residence.

Yet, Reader let me tell thee this,

(Which from his Ghost a promise is)

If here ye will some few tears shed,

He'l never haunt ye now he's dead.

135. On a Maid.

Here she lyes (in Bed spice)

Faire as Eve in Paradise.

[Page]For her beauty it was such

Poets co'd not praise too much.

Virgins come, and in a Ring

Her supreamest Requium sing;

Then depart, but see ye tread

Lightly, lightly ore the dead.

136. On Husband and Wife.

To these, whom Death againe did wed,

This Grave's the second Marriage-Bed.

For though the hand of Fate could force,

Twixt soule and body a Divorce;

It could not sever Man and wife,

Because they both liv'd but one life;

Peace, good Reader, doe not weep,

Peace the Lovers are asleep:

They (sweet Turtles) folded lye,

In the last knot that love could tye.

Let them sleep, let them sleep on,

Till this stormy night be gone.

And th'eternall morrow dawne,

Then the Curtaines will be drawne,

And they waken with that light,

Whose day shall never sleep in night.

137. On Aretyne.

Here biting Aretyne lyes buried▪

With gall more bitter, never man was fed.

[Page]The living nor the dead to carp he spar'd,

Nor yet for any King or Caesar car'd:

Onely on God to raile he had forgot,

His answer was, indeed I know him not.

138. On William Coale an Alehouse-keeper, at Coaton near Cambridge.

Doth William Coale lye here? henceforth be stale,

Be strong and laugh on us, thou Coaten Ale:

Living indeed, he with his violent hand

Never left grasping thee, while he could stand.

But death at last, hath with his fiery flashes

Burnt up the Coale, and turn'd it into ashes.

139. On one Andrew Leigh, who was vext with a shrewd wife.

Here lies Leigh, who vext with a shrewd wife,

To gain his quiet, parted with his life;

But see the spight! she that had alwayes crost

Him living, dyes, and means to hunt his Ghost.

But she may faile, for Andrew out of doubt

Will cause his brother Peter shut her out.

140. In quendam.

Stay mortall, stay, remove not from this Tomb,

Before thou hast consider'd well thy doome;

[Page]My bow stands ready bent, and couldst i [...] see,

Mine arrow's drawn to th'head, and aims at thee:

Prepare yet wandring Ghost, take home this line;

The grave that next is open'd may be thine.

141. On a vertuous youth.

Reader, let a stone thee tell

That in this body there did dwell

A'soule, as heavenly, rich, and good,

As e'r could live in flesh and blood:

And therefore heav'n that held it deare,

Did let it stay the lesse while here,

Whose Corps here sacred ashes makes;

Thus heav'n and earth have parted stakes.

142. On a Cock-master.

Farewell stout Hot-spur, now the battel's done,

In which th'art foil'd, and death hath overcome,

Having o'r-match'd thy strength that made thee stoop

Shee quickly forc'd thee on the pit to droop:

From whence thou ar [...] not able rise or stir;

For death is now become the vanquisher.

143. On a Mathematician.

Lo [...], in small closure of this earthly bed,

Rests he, that heavens vast motions measured,

[Page]Who having known both of the Land and sky,

More than fam'd Archimede, or Ptolomy,

Would further presse, and like a Palmer went,

With Iacobs staffe, beyond the Firmament.

144. On a Taylour.

Iack Snip the Taylor's dead, 'tis now too late

To brawl or wrangle with the cruel fate,

Yet sure 'twas hardly done to clip his thred,

Before he gave them leave, in his own bed.

He dy'd at forty just; poor shred of base

Mortality! who pities not his case?

Of a whole ell of cloth, he would not take

Above a nail at most, for conscience sake:

But of his span of life, I dare to say,

Death stole not much lesse than one halfe away;

And Coward-like, just when he was not well,

With his own bodkin (pitifull to tell)

He board a hole through him, that all his men

And Prentices could not stitch up agen.

143. On his Mistris Death.

Unjustly we complain of Fate,

For shortning our unhappy dayes,

When death doth nothing but translate,

And print us in a better phrase.

[Page]Yet who can chuse but weep? Not I:

That beauty of such excellence,

And more vertue than could dye,

By deaths rude hand is vanish'd hence.

Sleep blest creature in thine urn,

My sighs, my tears, shall not awake thee.

I but stay untill my turn;

And then, O then! I'l overtake thee.

146. On Hobson the Carrier.

If Constellations which in heaven are fixt,

Give life by influence to bodies mixt,

And every sign peculiar right doth claime

Of that to which it propagates a name;

Then I conjure, Charles the great Northern star

Whistled up Hobson for to drive his Car.

He is not dead, but left his mansion here,

Has left the Bull, and flitted to the Beare.

Me thinks I see how Charons fingers itches,

But he's deceiv'd he cannot have his riches.

147. Another on Hobson.

Whom seek ye firs? Old Hobson? [...]ie upon

Your tardinesse, the Carrier is gon,

Why stare you so? nay, you deserve to faile,

Alas, here's nought, but his old rotten maile.

[Page]He went a good-while since, no question store

Are glad, who vext he would not goe before:

And some are griev'd hee's gone so soon away,

The Lord knows why he did no longer stay.

How could he please you all? I'm sure of this,

He linger'd soundly, howsoe'r you misse;

But gone he is, nor was he surely well

At his departure, as mischance befell:

For he is gone in such unwonted kind,

As ne'r before, his goods all left behind.

148. Old Hobsons Epitaph.

Here Hobson lies among his many betters,

A man unlearned, yet a man of Letters;

His carriage was well known, oft hath he gone

In Embassy 'twixt father and the sonne:

There's few in Cambridge, to his praise be it spoken,

But may remember him by some good Token.

From whence he rid to London day by day,

Till death benighting him, he lost his way:

His Team was of the best, nor would he have

Been mir'd in any way, but in the grave.

Nor is't a wonder, that he thus is gon,

Since all men know, he long was drawing on.

Thus rest in peace thou everlasting Swain,

And supreme Waggoner, next Charles his wain.

149. Vpon Iohn Crop, who dyed by taking a vomit.

[Page]

Mans life's a game at Tables, and he may

Mend his bad fortune by his wiser play;

Death playes against us, each disease and sore

Are blots, if hit, the danger is the more

To lose the game; but an old stander by

Binds up the blots, and cures the malady,

And so prolongs the game; Iohn Crop was he

Death in a rage did challenge for to see

His play, the dice are thrown, when first he drinks,

Casts, makes a blot, death hits him with a Sinqu [...]

He casts again, but all in vain, for death

By th'after game did win the prize, his breath.

What though his skill was good, his luck was bad,

For never mortall man worse casting had.

But did not death play false to win from such

As he? no doubt, he bare a man too much.

150. An honest Epitaph.

Here lyes an honest man, Reader if thou seek more,

Thou art not so thy selfe; for honesty is store

Of Commendations; and it is more praise,

To dye an honest man, then full of dayes.

151. On a Cobler.

[Page]

Here lyes an honest Cobler, whom curst Fate,

Perceiving near worn out, would needs translate;

'Twas a good thrifty soul, and time hath bin,

He would well liquor'd wade through thick and thin:

But now he's gone, 'tis all that can be said,

Honest Iohn Cobler is here under-laid.

152. On a proud man.

Good Reader know, that commest nigh,

Here lies he low, that look'd so high.

Both poor and nak'd, that was gay-cloath'd:

Of all forsak'd, who others loath'd.

He once thought all envy'd his worth:

Nor great, nor small, now grudge his turf:

The heavenly Cope was his ambition:

Three Cubits scope is his fruition.

He was above all; God above him:

He did not love all; nor God love him:

He that him taught first to aspire,

Now hath him caught, and payes his hire.

153. On an irefull and angry man.

Here lyes a Fury, hight Sir Ire,

That bred, & earn'd immortal fire.

He 'gan to wrangle from the womb;

And was a wrangler to his Tomb.

[Page]A peevish, and a foolish elfe,

Foe to his God, his Saints, his self.

He hated men, men did not love him:

No evill but his own might move him.

He was, and was earths load and care:

He is, and is hells brand, and share.

154. On Iohn Dawson Butler.

Dawson the Butler's dead, although I think

Poets were nere insusd with single drink,

Ile spend a farthing Muse, a watery Verse

Will serve the turn to cast upon his Herse.

If any cannot weep among us here,

Take off his cup, and so squeze out a teare.

Weep O ye barrels, let your drippings fall

In trickling streams, make wast more prodigall,

Then when our beer was good, that Iohn may float

To Stix in beer, and lift up Charrons boat,

With wholsome waves: and as the Conduits ran

VVith Claret, at the Coronation,

So let your channels flow with single Tiff,

For Iohn I hope is crown'd: take off your whiff,

Ye men of Rosemary, and drink up all,

Remembring 'tis a Butlers Funerall:

Had he been Master of good duble beer,

My life for his, Iohn Dawson had been here.

155. On Turn-Coat.

[Page]

Passenger, Stay, Reade, Walke. Here Lyeth, ANDREW TURNCOAT, WHO WAS NEITHER SLAVE, NOR SOULDIER, NOR PHYSITIAN, NOR FENCER, NOR COBLER, NOR FILCHER, NOR LAWYER, NOR USURER, BUT ALL WHO LIVED NEITHER IN CITY, NOR COUNTRY, NOR AT HOME, NOR ABROAD, NOR AT SEA, NOR AT LAND, NOR HERE, NOR ELSEWHERE, BUT EVERY WHERE. WHO DIED, NEITHER OF HUNGER, NOR POYSON, NOR HATCHET, NOR HALTER, NOR DOGGE, NOR DISEASE, BUT OF ALL TOGETHER. 1.1. H. BEING NEITHER HIS DEBTOR, NOR HEIRE, NOR KINSMAN, NOR FRIEND, NOR NEIGHBOUR, BUT ALL, IN HIS MEMORY HAVE ERECTED, THIS NEITHER MONUMENT, NOR TOMB, NOR SEPULCHER, BUT ALL WISHING NEITHER EVIL, NOR WEL, NEITHER TO THEE, NOR TO ME, NOR HIM, BUT ALL UNTO ALL.

156. On a Dyer.

[Page]

Though death the Dyer colour-lesse hath made,

Yet he dies pale, and will not leave his trade;

But being dead, the means yet doth not lack,

To dye his friends cloth into mourning black.

Some sure foresaw his death, for they of late

Usd to exclaim upon his dying Fate.

And weak, and faint, he seem'd oft times t'have been,

For to change colours often he was seen;

Yet there no matter was so foul, but he

Would set a colour on it handsomely:

Death him no unexpected stroke could give,

That learnt to dye, since he began to live.

He shall yet prove, what he before had try'd,

And shall once more live after he hath dy'd.

157. On a disagreeing Couple.

Hic jacet ille, qui centies & mille

Did scold with his Wife:

Cum illo jacet illa, quae communis in villa

Did qui [...]tance his life:

His name was Nick, the which was sick,

And that very male,

Her name was Nan, who loved well a man,

So Gentlemen, vale.

158. On a Foot-boy that dyed with overmuch running.

[Page]

Base Tyrant death, thus to assail one tir'd,

Who scarce his latest breath being left expir'd;

And being too too cruell thus to stay

So swift a course, at length ran quite away.

But pretty boy, be sure it was not death

That left behind thy body out of breath:

Thy soul and body running in a race,

Thy soul held out, thy body tir'd apace,

Thy soul gained, and left that lump of clay

To rest it selfe untill the latter day.

159. On a Scrivener.

Here to a period is the Scrivener come,

This is the last sheet, his full point this Tomb.

Of all aspersions [...] excuse him not,

'Tis known he liv'd not, without many a blot;

Yet he no ill example shew'd to any,

But rather gave good Copies unto many.

[...]e in good Letters hath alwayes been bred,

And hath writ more then many men have read.

He rulers had at his command by Law,

And though he could not hang, yet he could draw

He far more bond-men had, and made, then any;

A dash alone of his pen ruin'd many;

[Page]That not without good reason, we might call

His Letters great, or little, Capitall.

Yet is the Scriveners fate as sure as just,

When he hath all done then he falls to dust.

160. On Mr. P. Gray.

Reader stay,

And if I had no more to say,

But here doth lye till the last day,

All that is left of Philip Gray;

It might thy patience richly pay:

For, if such men as he could dye,

What surety of life have thou and I?

161. On a Chandler.

How might his dayes end that made weeks? or he

That could make light, here laid in darknesse be?

Yet since his weeks were spent, how could he chuse

But be depriv'd of light, and his trade lose?

Yet dead the Chandler is, and sleeps in peace,

No wonder, long since melted was his greace:

It seems that he did evill, for day-light

He hated, and did rather wish the night:

Yet came his works to light, and were like gold

Prov'd in the fire, but could not tryall hold;

His candle had an end, and deaths black night

Is an extinguisher of all his light.

162. On a Smith.

[Page]

Farewell stout Iron-side, not all thine Art

Could make a shield against deaths envious Dart.

Without a fault, no man his life doth passe,

For to his Vice the Smith addicted was.

He oft (as Choler is increast by fire)

Was in a fume, and much inclin'd to ire.

He had so long been usd to forge, that he

Was with a black-coal markt for forgery:

But he for witnesse needed not to care,

Who but a Black-smith was, though ne'r so fair;

And opportunities he needed not.

That knew to strike then when their'n was hot;

As the door-Nailes he made, hee's now as dead;

He them, and death him, hath knockt on the head.

163. On a man drown'd in the Snow.

Within a fleece of silent waters drown'd,

Before my death was known, a grave I found;

The which exil'd my life from her sweet home,

For grief straight froze it selfe into a tombe.

One element my angry Fate thought meet

To be my death, grave, tomb, and winding sheet:

Phaebus himself, an Epitaph had writ,

But blotting many ere he thought one fit;

He wrote untill my grave, and tomb were gone,

And 'twas an Epitaph that I had none;

[Page]For every one that passed by that way,

Without a sculture read that there I lay.

Here now the second time untomb'd I lye,

And thus much have the best of Destiny:

Corruption, from which onely one was free,

Devour'd my grave, but did not feed on me:

My first grave took me from the race of men,

My last shall give me back to life agen.

164. On Doctor Hackets wif [...].

Drop mournfull eyes your pearly trickling tears,

Flow streams of sadnesse down the spangled sphears,

Fall like the tumbling Cataracts of Nile,

Make deaf the world with cryes; let not a smile

Appear, let not an eye be seen to sleep

Nor slumber, onely let them serve to weep

Her dear lamented death, who in her life

Was a religious, loyall, loving wife,

Of Children tender, to an husband kind,

Th'undoubted symtomes of a vertuous mind:

Which makes her glorious, 'bove the highest pole,

Where Angels sing sweet Requiums to her soule,

She liv'd a none-such, did a none-such dye,

Ne'r none-such here her Corps interred lye,

165. On a beautifull Virgin.

In this Marble buri'd lyes,

Beauty, may inrich the Skyes,

[Page]And adde light to Phaebus eyes.

§

Sweeter then Aurora's aire,

When she paints the Lilies faire,

And gilds Cowslips with her haire.

§

Chafter then the Virgin spring,

Ere her blossomes she doth bring,

Or cause Philomel to sing.

§

If such goodnesse live 'mongst men,

Bring me it; I know then

She is come from heaven agen.

§

But if not, ye standers by

Cherish me, and say that I

Am the next design'd to dy.

166. An ancient Epitaph on Martin Mar-Prelate.

The Welshman is hanged,

Who at our Kirk flanged,

And at her state banged,

And breaded are his Bukes:

And though he be hanged,

Yet he is not wranged,

The Devill has him fanged

In his kruked klukes.

167. Vpon Hodge Pue's Father.

[Page]

Oh cruell death that stop [...] the view

Of Thoms Parishioner good-man Pue,

Who lived alwayes in good order,

Untill that death stopt his Recorder,

Which was betwixt Easter and Pentecost,

In the year of the great frost:

At New-Market then was the King,

When as the Bells did merrily ring;

The Minister preached the day before

Unto his Highnesse, and no more,

Returning home, said prayers, and

Buried the man as I understand.

168. On our prime English Poet Geffery Chaucer, an ancient Epitaph.

My Master Chaucer, with his fresh Comedies

Is dead, alas! chiefe Poet of Britaine,

That whilome made full piteous Tragedies:

The fault also of Princes did complaine,

As he that was of making Soveraigne;

Whom all this Land should of right preferre,

Sith of our Language he was the Load-sterre.

169. On Mr. Ed [...]: Spencer, the famous Poet.

[Page]

At Delphos shrine, one did a doubt propound,

Which by the Oracle must be released,

Whether of Poets were the best renown'd,

Those that survive, or they that are deceased?

The Gods made answer by divine suggestion,

While Spencer is alive, it is no question.

170. On Iohn Owen.

Well had these words been added to thy herse,

What e'r thou spak'st (like Ovid) was a verse.

171. On Michael Drayton buryed in Westminster.

Doe pious Marble, let thy Readers know,

What they, and what their Children ow

To Draytons sacred name, whose dust

We recommend unto thy trust.

Protect his memory, preserve his story,

And a lasting Monument of his glory,

And when thy ruines shall disclaime

To be the Treasury of his name:

His name which cannot fade, shall be

An everlasting Monument to thee.

172. On Mr. Beaumont.

[Page]

He that hath such acutenesse, and such wit,

As well may ask six lives to manage it;

He that hath writ so well, that no man dare

Deny it for the best; let him beware:

Beaumont is dead, by whose sole death appears,

Wit's a disease consumes men in few years.

173. On William Shakespeare.

Renowned Spencer lye a thought more nigh

To learned Chaucer, and rare Beaumont lye

A little nearer Spencer, to make room

For Shakespeare in your threefold, fourfold tomb,

To lodge all four in one bed make a shift

Untill Dooms-day, for hardly will a fifth

Betwixt this day and that, by Fates be slain,

For whom your curtains may be drawn again.

If your precedency in death doe bar

A fourth place in your sacred Sepulcher;

Under this sacred Marble of thine owne,

Sleep rare Tragoedian Shakespeare! sleep [...]lone.

Thy unmolested peace in an unshared cave,

Possesse as Lord, not Tenant of thy grave,

That knto us, and others it may be,

Honour hereafter to be laid by thee.

174. On Ben: Iohnson.

[Page]

Here lyes Iohnson with the rest

Of the Poets; but the best.

Reader, wo'dst thou more have known?

Ask his story, not this stone;

That will speak what this can't tell

Of his glory. So farewell.

175. Another on Ben: I.

The Muses fairest light, in no dark time;

The wonder of a learned Age; the line

That none can passe; the most proportion'd wit

To Nature: the best Judge of what was fit:

The deepest, plainest, highest, clearest pen:

The voyce most Eccho'd by consenting men:

The soul which answer'd best to all well said

By others: and which most requitall made:

Tun'd to the highest key of ancient Rome,

Returning all her musick with her owne.

In whom with nature, study claim'd a part,

And yet who to himself ow'd all his Art;

Here lyes Ben: Iohnson, every age will look

With sorrow here, with wonder on his Book.

176. On Mr. Francis Quarles.

[Page]

To them that understand themselves so well,

As what, not who lies here, to ask, I'l tell,

What I conceive, envy dare not deny,

Far both from falshood, and from flattery.

Here drawn to land by death, doth lye

A Vessell fitter for the skye,

Then Iasons Argo, though to Greece,

They say, it brought the Golden Fleece.

The skillfull Pilot steer'd it so,

Hither and thither, to and fro,

Through all the Seas of Poetry,

Whether they far or near doe lye,

And fraught it so with all the wealth,

Of wit and learning, not by stealth,

Or Piracy, but purchase got,

That this whole lower world could not

Richer Commodities, or more

Afford to adde unto his store.

To heaven then with an intent

Of new discoveries, he went,

And left his Vessell here to rest

Till his return shall make it blest.

The bill of Lading he that looks

To know, may find it in his Books.

177. On Doctor Donnes death.

[Page]

He that would write an Epitaph for thee,

And doe it well, must first begin to be

Such as thou wert; for none can truly know

Thy worth, thy life, but he that hath liv'd so.

He must have wit to spare, and to hurle down:

Enough to keep the Gallants of the Town.

He must have learning plenty; both the Laws,

Civill, and Common, to judge any Cause;

Divinity great store, above the rest;

None of the worst edition, but the best;

He must have language, travall, all the Arts;

Judgement to use; or else he wants thy parts.

He must have friends the highest, able to do;

Such as Maecenas and Augustus too;

He must have such a sicknesse, such a death,

Or else his vain descriptions come beneath.

Who then shall write an Epitaph for thee,

He must be dead first; let alone for me.

176. On Doctor Whaly.

What? is the young Apollo grown of late

Conscious his tender years are nothing fit

To rule the now large Heliconian S [...]ate,

Without a sage Competitor in it?

[Page]And therefore sen [...] death, who might Whaly bring

To be a Guardian to this stripling King?

Sure so it is, but if we thought it might

Be worse then this: namely, that th'Gods for spight

To earth, had ta'n him hence; wee'd weep amain,

Wee'd weep a Phlegethon, an Ocean;

Which might without the help of Charous Oares,

Ferry his soule to the Elysian shoares.

179. On Doctor Bambrigg.

Were but this Marble vocall, there

Such an Elogium would appear

As might, though truth did dictate, move

Distrust in either faith or love;

As ample knowledge as could rest

Inshrined in a Mortals breast,

Which ne'rethelesse did open lye,

Uncovered by humility.

A heart which piety had chose,

To be her Altar, whence arose

Such smoaking Sacrifices, that

We here can onely wonder at;

A honey tongue that could dispence,

Torrents of sacred Eloquence;

That 'tis no wonder if this stone

Because it cannot speak, doth groan;

For could Mortality assent,

These ashes would prove eloquent.

180. On Sir Walter Rawleigh at his Execution.

[Page]

Great heart, who taught thee so to dye?

Death yielding thee the victory?

Where took'st thou leave of life? if there,

How couldst thou be so freed from fear?

But sure thou dyest, and qui [...]'st the state

Of flesh and blood before the Fate.

Else what a miracle were wrought,

To triumph both in flesh and thought?

I saw in every stander by,

Pale death, life onely in thine eye:

Th'example that thou left'st was then,

We look for when thou dy'st agen.

Farewell, truth shall thy story say,

We dy'd, thou onely liv'dst that day.

181. On Sir Horatio Palavozeene.

Here lies Sir Horatio Palavozeene,

Who rob'd the Pope to pay the Queene,

And was a thief. A thief? thou ly'st:

For why? he rob'd but Antichrist.

Him death with his beesome swept from Babram,

Into the bosome of old Abraham:

But then came Hercules with his Club,

And struck him down to Belzebub.

182. On Sir Francis Drake drowned.

[Page]

Where Drake first found, there last he lost his fame:

And for Tomb left nothing but his name.

His body's bury'd under some grea [...] wave,

The Sea that was his glory, is his grave:

Of him no man true Epitaph can make,

For who can say, Here lies Sir Francis Drake.

183. Sir Ph. Sidney on himselfe.

It is not I that dye, I do but leave an Inn,

Where harbour'd was with me, all filthy sin;

It is not I that dye, I doe but now begin

Into etenall joy by faith to enter in.

Why mourn you then my Parents, Friends, and Kin?

Lament you when I lose, not when I win.

184. On Sir Wal [...]er Rawleigh.

If spight be pleasd, when as her object's dead,

Or malice pleasd, when it hath bruisd the head,

Or envy pleasd, when it hath what it would,

Then all are pleasd, for Rawleighs blood is cold,

Which were it warm and active, would o'rcome,

And strike the two first blind, the other dumbe.

185. On Sir Philip Sidney.

[Page]

Reader: within this ground Sir Philip Sidney lyes,

Nor is it sir, that more

I should acquaint;

Left superstition rise,

And men adore

A Lover, Scholler, Souldier, and a Saint.

186. On a Learned Nobleman.

He that can read a sigh, and spell a tear,

Pronounce amazement, or accent will fear,

Or get all grief by heart, he, onely he,

Is fit to write, or read thy Elegie.

Unvalued Lord! that wert so hard a text,

Read in one age, and understood i'th'next.

187. On the Tombs in Westminster.

Mortality, behold, and feare,

What a change of flesh is here!

Think how many Royall bones,

Sleep within these heaps of Stones;

Here they lye, had Realms, and Lands;

Who now want strength to stir their hands.

[Page]Where from their Pulpits seal'd with dust,

They preach, in greatnesse is no trust.

Here's an acre sown indeed,

With the richest, royal'st seed,

That the earth did e'r suck in,

Since the first man dy'd for sin:

Here the bones of birth have cry'd,

Though Gods they were, as men they dy'd:

Here are Sands, ignoble things,

Dropt from the ruin'd sides of Kings,

Here's a world of Pomp and State

Buried in dust, once dead by fate.

188. On Queen Elizabeth.

Kings, Queens, Mens, Virgins eyes

See where the mirrour lyes.

In whom her friends have seen,

A Kings state in a Queen:

In whom her foes survai'd,

A Mans heart in a Maid.

Whom lest Men for her Piety,

Should grow to think some Deity;

Heaven hence by death did summon

Her, to shew that she was Woman.

189. On Queen Anne, who dyed in March, was kept all Aprill, and buried in May.

[Page]

March with his winds hath struck a Cedar tall,

And weeping Aprill mourns the Cedars fall:

And May intends her month no flowres shall bring,

Since she must lose the flow'r of all the Spring.

Thy March his winds, have caused Aprill show'rs,

And yet sad May must lose his flow'r of flow'rs.

190 On Prince Henry.

Reader; wonder think it none,

Though I speak, and am a stone,

Here is shri [...]'d Coelestialll dust,

And I keep it but in trust:

Should I not my treasure tell,

Wonder then you might as well,

How this Stone could chuse but break,

If it had not learn'd to speak:

Hence amaz'd and ask not me

Whose these sacred ashes be,

Purposely it is conceal'd,

For alasse! were that reveal'd,

All that read would by and by

Melt themselves to tears and dy.

191. On King Iames his death.

[Page]

We justly, when a meaner subject dyes,

Begin his Epitaph with, Here he lyes,

But when a King, whose memory remains

Triumphant over death; with, here he reignes:

Now he is dead, to whom the world imputes

Deservedly, eternall Attributes.

For shall we think his glory can decease,

That's honour'd with the stile, The King of Peace:

Whose happy union of Great Britanny?

Calls him the blessed King of Unity.

And in whose Royall Title it ensu'th,

Defender of the Faith, and King of Truth,

These girt thy brows with an immortal Crown,

(Great Iames) & turn thy Tomb into a Throne.

192. On the King of Sweden.

The world expects Swede's monumentall stone

Should equall the Philosophers; each groane

Should breath a golden vein, and every verse

Sould draw Elixar from his fatall Herse.

No fitter subject where strong lines should meet,

Than such a noble Center: could the feet

Of able Verse but trace his Victories,

[Page]Where all's transcendent, who out parallel'd

Pluiarchs selected Heroes, and is held

The tenth of Worthies: who hath over-acted

Great Caesars German-Comment, and contracted

H [...] expeditions by preventing aw,

He often overcame before he saw:

And (what of his great Son, Iove us'd to say)

He alwayes either found or made his way.

Such was his personall and single fight,

As if that death it self had ra'n her flight

Into brave Swedens [...]cabbard, when he drew,

Death with that steel inevitably flew.

His Camp a Church, wherein the Gen'ralls life

Was the best Sermon, and the onely strife

Amongst his, was to repeat it; bended knee

Was his prime posture, and his enemy

Found this most prevalent; his discipline

Impartiall and exact, it did out-shine

Those Antique Martiall Grecian, Roman lamps,

From which most of the worlds succeeding Camps

Have had their borrow'd light; this, this was he,

All this and more; yet even all this can dye.

Death surely ventur'd on the Swede to try,

If heav'n were subject to mortality;

And shot his soule to Heav'n, as if that she

Could (if not kill) unthrone a Deity.

Both Death's deceiv'd, 'tis in another sense▪

That Heaven is said to suffer violence.

[Page]No ir'n Chain-shot, but 'tis the golden chaine

Of Vertue, and the Graces are the maine,

That doe unhinge the everlasting Gates,

All which like yoked undivided ma [...]es,

Were lin'd in Sweden; where then were [...]nchain'd

Like Orthodoxall, Volumes nothing feign'd:

Though fairly bound, his story is not dipt

In oyle, but in his own true Manuscript.

It is enough to name him, surely we

Have got that Romans doting Lethargy:

And may our names forget, if so we can

Forget the name of Sweden; renown'd man?

Thou hadst no sooner made the Worthies ten,

But Heaven did claim the tenth; jealous that men

Would Idolize thee, but their Instrument.

Thus thy Meridian prov'd thy Occident:

Had longer dayes been granted by the Fates,

Rome had heard this Hanniball at her gates.

§

Farewell thou Austrian scourge,

Thou modern wonder,

Strange rain hath followed

Thy last clap of thunder,

A shower of tears:

And yet for ought we know,

The Horn that's left,

May blow down Iericho.

163. To Death.

[Page]

Death, art thou mad? or having lost thine eyes,

Now throw'st thy dart at wild uncertainties?

Which hits those men, who hadst thou eyes or sense

Would challenge from thee mild obedience.

Their prudent looks gilt with Divinity,

Thy trembling hand would cast thy dart away,

And grant the wearied Bells a holy day;

And thou griev'd for thy former cruelty,

Wouldst to the world proclaim a Jubilee.

But thou art blind and deaf: yet one or two

At most, me thinks, had been enow

To satisfie thy bloody Tyranny.

But thou wouldst fain rob poor mortality

Of all true worth, that men might be as base

As thou art, and the Devils of thy race.

Art thou Coward grown? why didst not dart

Thy spight at lusty youth? whose valiant heart

Would scorn thy fond Alarums, and would sl [...]ght

Thy mighty malice, and thy puny might.

This had bin fair enough; but thou goest further:

That had been but man-slaughter, this is murther;

To kill those rich-soul'd men, who sweetly doe

Whisper unto their willing souls to goe.

But knowledge of thy weaknesse makes thee wise,

Thou seek'st not triumphs now, but sacrifice.

[Page]Thy malice fools thee too, thou hop'st they'd griev

Because they should be forc'd behind to leave

Their honour'd worth; but (fond fool) they be

Now crown'd and cloath'd with immortality.

Nor shal [...] thou kill their fames; here we will raise

A Monument to them, shall out-last dayes;

Nor shall decay, untill the Trumpets call

The world to see thy long-wish'd Funerall:

Till then sleep blest soules, freed from hopes and fears.

Whilst we do write your Epitaphs in tears.

FANCIES AND Fantasticks.

[Page]

[Page]

§

[Page]

Time that all things doth inheritt

Renders each desert his meritt,

Youth with youth is best combined,

Each one with his like is twined,

Bewty should have bewteous meaning,

Ever that hope easeth playning,

Doe so and to love be turning

El's each ♡ it will be burning

Learne to love & leave denying,

Endles knotts let fates be tying,

Such a face so fine a feature,

Kindest, fairest, sweetest creature,

Never yet was found but loving,

O then let my plaints be moving,

I love not with vowes contesting,

Faith is faith without protesting,

Aenigma.

[Page]

AS often as I please it changeth forme,

It is no Coward, though it doe no harme;

'Tis never hurt, nor ever doth it seed;

'Tis nothing worth, yet nothing doth it need.

Swiftly it runs, yet never maketh sound,

And once being lost, again 'tis never found.

'Tis a fit Servant for a Gentleman,

And a true pattern for a Serving-man.

'Tis born a Gyant, lives a Dwarfe, and nigh

Unto its death, a Gyant doth it dye.

Another on the six Cases.

No. Nanta was nominated for a W.

Gen. For she that had been Genitive before:

Da. Notice hereof was to the Iustice given,

Acc. Who her accu'sd, that she had loosly liven.

Voc. But she cry'd mercy, and her fault up ript,

Abl. And so was ta'n away and soundly whipt.

Her Case was ill; yet will the question be,

Being thus declin'd, in what a Case was she

§

If V 2 I, as I 2 V am true,

VI must lye, and

[I in V]

[Page]Thoughts — c

Searching c

Valued may B

Love — may B

[figure]

Truth never ties

Too A foole yy

If

[figure]

have part

[figure]

And

[figure]

V bb

Y'ave 1.2. many then I. C.

And R not worth

Write QQ

I'le — not yours VV

A Riddle.

[Page]

A begger once exceeding poore,

A penny pray'd me give him,

And deeply vow'd ne'r to ask more

And I ne'r more to give him,

Next day he begg'd again, I gave,

Yet both of us our Oaths did save.

Another.

There was a man bespake a thing,

Which when the owner home did bring,

He that made it, did refuse it,

He that bought it, would not use it;

He that hath it doth not know

Whether he hath it, yea or no.

Another.

One evening, as cold, as cold might be,

With Frost and Snow, and pinching weather,

Companions about three times three,

Lay close all in a bed together;

Yet one after other they took heat,

And dy'd that night all in a sweat.

§

[Page]

THIS is love and worth commending,

Still beginning never ending,

Like a wilie net insnaring

In a round shuts up all squaring.

In and out, whose everie angle

More and more doth still intangle.

Keeps a measure still in moving,

And is never light but lovinge

Twyning armes exchanging kisses,

Each partaking others blisses.

Laughing weepinge still togeather

Blisse in one is myrth in either.

Never breaking ever bending,

This is love & worth commending.

A doubtfull meaning.

[Page]

The Faeminine kind is counted ill:

And is I swear: The contrary;

No man can find: That hurt they will;

But every where: Doe show pity;

To no kind heart: They will be curst;

To all true friends: They will be trusty;

In no part: They work the worst;

With tongue and mind: But honesty;

They doe detest: Inconstancy;

They doe embrace: Honest intent;

They like least: Lewd fantasie;

In every case: Are penitent;

At no season: Doing amisse;

To it truly: Contrary;

To all reason: Subject and meek;

To no body: Malicious;

To friend or foe: Or gentle sort;

They be never: Doing amisse;

In weale and woe: Of like report;

They be ever: Be sure of this;

The Faeminine kind: Shall have my heart;

Nothing at all: False they will be;

In word and mind: To suffer smart;

And ever shall: Believe you me.

§

[Page]

2 A

[figure]

goe

That

[figure]

doth

That's rul'd by 1. whose

[figure]

sayes no:

I'le try ere trust ward left my

[figure]

Find slight regard.

[Page]The

[figure]

a

[figure]

[figure]

whilst

I

[figure]

2 Lovers

[figure]

That gazed me.

There was nor

[figure]

nor loathsome

[figure]

That might disturb or break delight,

Nor

[figure]

nor

[figure]

in that same road,

And yet to me they seem'd affright.

Then favour them I told,

True love cannot be bold.

These may be read two or three wayes.

[Page]

Your face | Your tongue | your wit
so faire | so smooth | so sharp
first drew | then mov'd | then knit
mine eye | mine eare | my heart
Mine eye | Mine eare | My heart
thus drawn | thus mov'd | thus knit
[...]ffects | hangs on | yeelds to
Your face | Your tongue | your wit

These may be read backward or forward.

Joy, Mirth, Triumphs, I doe defie,

Destroy me Death; fain would I dye:

Forlorn am I, love is exil'd,

Scorn smiles thereat; hope is beguild:

Men banish'd blisse, in woe must dwell,

Then Joy, Mirth, Triumphs all farewell.

§

[Page]

TRUE love is a pretious pleasure,

Rich delight unvalu'd treasure,

Two firme Heartes in one ♡ meeting,

Grasping hand in hand ne'r fleeting,

Wreathlike like a maze entwineing

Two faire mindes in one combineing;

Foe to faithless vowes perfidious

True love is a knott religious,

Dead to the sinnes yt flameing rise

Through beauties soule seduceing eyes,

Deafe to gold enchaunting witches,

Love for vertue not for riches;

Such is true loves boundles measure.

True love is a pretious pleasure.

§

[Page]

Est aliis servire tenetur

Iure qui

sum servire necesse est

Iure tibi me

Te nulli cunctos

aut are videris

Qui cunctos hos laude

aut fero cunctis.

Thus Englished.

-ling is bound to serve his Mris. hands

An-

you & bound to do your high cōmands

I'm

None's you

you all are then

I'll praise you

other men.

A New years Gift.

[Page]

That our loves may never alter,

Tye it fast with this strong Halter.

The Answer.

The Rope is old, the Jest is new,

I'll take the Jest, the Rope take you.

A Gentleman to his Love.

Tell her I love; and if she ask how well;

Tell her my tongue told thee no tongue can tell.

Her Answer.

Say not you love, unlesse you do,

For lying will not honour you.

His Reply.

Madam, I love, and love to doe,

And will not lye, unless with you.

To his Mistresse.

A constant heart within a womans breast,

Is Ophir gold within an Ivory Chest.

Her answer.

Of such a Treasure then thou art possest,

For thou hast such a heart in such a Ghest.

On Chloris walking in the Snow.

[Page]

I saw fair Chloris walk alone,

When feather'd rain came softly down,

Then Iove descended from his Tower,

To court her in a silver shower:

The wanton Snow flew to her brest,

Like little birds into their nest;

But overcome with whitenes there

For grief it thaw'd into a teare;

Then falling down her garment hem,

To deck her, froze into a gem.

Vpon Clarinda, begging a lock of her Lovers hair.

Fairest Clarinda, she whom truth calls faire,

Begg'd my heart of me, and a lock of haire;

Should I give both, said I, how should I live?

The lock I would, the heart I would not give:

For that, left theeving love should steal away,

Discretion had lock'd up, and kept the key;

As for the lock of hair which lovers use,

My head laid on her knee, I pray'd her chuse,

Taking her Sizars by a cunning art,

First pick'd the lock, and then she stole my heart.

§

[Page]

A ✚ begins love's criss cross row.

Love's not wthout a cross or two.

A duble ✚ begins this knot

Love wthout crosses meritts not,

This knot & love are both alike.

Seeing first & last are both to seek

Reaching, spreading, round about,

All wayes turning in & out

Still increasing still renewing

Crossing meeting still continuing

Winding this way that way bending

Wthout beginning without ending

True love's stirring still in action

Allways tending to perfection

No cross can stop true loves intent

But it goes on to what it ment

And though it meet wth many a one,

True love makes a ✚ seeme non

To those yt never love but one

Love of manys true loves bane

And such shall be cross'd & cross'd againe

who lives to love must learne to know

A ✚ begins loves criss cross-row.

A Loving Bargain.

[Page]

Give me a kisse, I'll make that odde one even,

Then treble that which you have given;

Be sure I'l answer you, and if I misse,

Then take a thousand forfeits for a kisse,

And a thousand be too few, than take more:

Kisse me with your kisses, make me poore:

When I am begger'd some hope will remain,

You will for pity give me some again.

A Question.

Between two Suiters sat a Lady faire,

Upon her head a Garland she did wear:

And of the enamoured two, the first alone,

A Garland wore like hers, the second none;

From her own head she took the wreath she wore,

And on him plac'd it that had none before.

And then mark this, their brows were both about

Beset with Garlands, and she sate without:

Beholding now these Rivalls on each side

Of her thus plac'd and deck'd with equall pride:

She from the first mans head the wreath he had

Took off, and therewith her own brow she clad.

And then (not this) she and the second were

With Garlands deck'd; and the first man sate bare.

[Page]Now which did she love best? of him to whom

She gave the wreath? or him she took it from?

The Answer.

In my conceit, she would him soonest have,

From whom she took, not him to whom she gave.

For to bestow, many respects may move:

But to receive, none can perswade but love.

Shee grac'd him much on whom the wreath shee plac'd;

But him whose wreath she wore, she much more grac'd.

For where she gives, she there a servant makes,

But makes her selfe a servant where she takes.

Then where she takes, she honours most: & where

She doth most honour, she most love doth bear.

An incomparable kisse.

Give me a Kisse from those sweet lips of thine,

And make it double by enjoyning mine,

Another yet, nay yet another,

And let the first Kisse be the seconds brother.

Give me a thousand kisses, and yet more;

And then repeat those that have gone before;

Let us begin while day-light springs in heav'n

And kisse till night descends into the Ev'n,

[Page]And when that modest Secretary, Night,

Discolours all but thy heav'n-beaming bright,

We will begin Revels of hidden love,

In that sweet Orbe where silent pleasures move.

In high, new strains, unspeakable delight,

We'll vent the dull houres of the silent night.

Were the brigh [...] day no more to visit us,

O then for ever would I hold thee thus;

Naked, inchain'd, empty of idle feare,

As the first Lovers in the Garden were.

I'll dye betwixt thy breasts that are so whi [...],

For, to dye there, would doe a man delight.

Embrace me still, for time runs on before,

And being dead we shall embrace no more.

Let us kisse faster then the hours doe flye,

Long live each kisse, and never know to dye.

Yet if that fade, and fly away too fast,

Impresse another, and renew the last;

Let us vie kisses, till our eye-lids cover,

And if I sleep, count me an idle Lover,

Admit I sleep, I'll still pursue the Theam,

And eagerly I'l kisse thee in a dream.

O give me way; grant love to me thy friend,

Did hundred thousand sui [...]ers all contend

For thy Virginity, there's none shall woe

With heart so firm as mine; none better do

Then I with your sweet sweetnesse; if you doubt,

Pier [...] with your eyes my heart, or pluck it out.

To his Mistresse.

[Page]

Dearest, thy twin'd haires are not threds of gold,

Nor thine eyes Diamonds; nor doe I hold

Thy lips for Rubies, nor thy cheeks to be

Fresh Roses; nor thy Dugs of Ivory;

The skin that doth thy dainty body sheath,

Not [...]lablaster is; nor dost thou breath

Arabian odours; these the earth brings forth,

Compar'd with thine, they would impair thy worth;

Such then are other mistresses; but mine▪

Hath nothing earth, but all divine.

The Answer.

If earth doth never change, nor move,

There's nought of earth sure in thy love;

Sith heavenly bodies with each one,

Concur in generation;

And wanting gravity are light,

Or in a borrowed lustre bright;

If meteors and each falling starre,

Of heavenly matter framed are,

Earth hath thy Mistresse, but sure thine

All heavenly is, though not divine.

To his Mistresse.

[Page]

I love, because it comes to me by kind;

And much, because it much delights my mind:

And thee, because thou art within my heart:

And thee alone, because of thy desert.

I love, and much, and thee, and thee alone,

By kind, mind, heart, and every one.

Her answer.

Thou lov'st not, because thou art unkind,

Nor much, cause it delighteth not thy mind:

Nor me, because I am not in thy heart:

Nor me alone, because I want desert:

Thou lov'st nor much, nor me, nor me alone,

By kind, mind, heart, desert, nor any one.

Clownish Courtship.

Excellent Mistresse, brighter than the Moon,

Then scoured Pewter, or the Silver-spoon,

Fairer then Phaebus, or the morning starre;

Dainty faire Mistresse, by my troth you are

As far excelling Dian and her Nymphs,

As lobsters crawfish, and as crawfish shrimps:

Thine eyes like Diamonds, doe shine most clearly,

As I'm an honest Man, I love thee dearly.

A Comparison.

[Page]

Like to the selfe-inhabiting snaile,

Or like a Squirrell pent-hous'd under his taile,

Even such is my Mistresse face in a vaile:

Or like to a Carp that's lost in mudding,

Nay, more like to a black-pudding:

For as the pudding, the skin lies within,

So doth my Mistresse beauty in a taffity gin.

A Question.

Tell me (Sweet-heart) how spell'st thou Ione,

Tell me but that, 'tis all I crave;

I shall not need to be alone,

If such a lovely mate I have;

That thou art one, who can deny?

And all will grant that I am I,

If I be I, and thou art one,

Tell me (Sweet-heart) how spell'st thou Ione.

The Answer.

I tell you Sir, and tell you true,

That I am I, and I am one,

So can I spell Ione without you,

And spelling so, can lye alone:

[Page]My eye to one is consonant,

But as for yours it is not so;

If that your eye agreement want,

I to your eye must answer no;

Therefore leave off your loving plea,

And let your I be I per se.

Loves prime.

Dear Love, doe not your fair beauty wrong

With thinking still you are too young,

The Rose and Lilly in your cheek

Doe flourish, and no ripening seek:

Those flaming beams shot from your eye,

Doe show Loves Midsumer is nigh.

Your cherry-lip, red, soft and sweet,

Proclaim such fruit for tast is meet:

Then lose no time, for love hath wings,

And flies away from aged things.

Another to his Mistresse.

When first I saw thee, thou didst sweetly play

The gentle thief, and stol'st my heart away;

Render me mine again, or leave thy owne,

Two are too much for thee, since I have none:

But if thou wilt not, I will swear thou art

A sweet-fac'd creature with a double heart.

Another.

[Page]

Sweetest fair be not too cruell,

Blot not beauty with disdain,

Let not those bright eyes adde fewell

To a burning heart in vain;

Lest men justly when I dye,

Deem you the Candle, me the Flye.

Another.

I cannot pray you in a studyed stile,

Nor speak words distant from my heart a mile;

I cannot visit Hide-Park every day,

And with a Hackney court my time away;

I cannot spaniolize it week by week,

Or wait a month to kisse your hand or cheek;

If when you'r lov'd, you cannot love again,

Why, doe but say so, I am out of pain.

Excuse for absence.

You'll ask perhaps wherefore I stay,

(Loving so much,) so long away?

I doe not think 'twas I did part,

It was my body, not my heart:

[Page]For like a Compasse in your love,

One foot was fixt, and cannot move;

Th'other may follow the blind guide

Of giddy fortune, but cannot slide

Beyond your service; nor will venter

To wander far from you the Center.

To a faire, but unkind Mistresse.

I prethee turn that face away,

Whose splendor bu [...] benight [...] my day;

Sad eyes like mine, and wounded hearts,

Shun the bright rayes that beauty darts;

Unwelcome is the Sun tha [...] prie [...]

Into those shades where sorrow lyes.

Goe shine on happy things, to me

The blessing is a misery;

For your bright Sun, not warms, but burns;

Like that the Indian sooty turnes.

I'l serve the night, and there confin'd,

Wish thee lesse fair; or else more kind.

To himselfe.

Retreat sad heart, breed not thy further pain;

Admire, but fonder thoughts seek to refrain.

To some Ladies.

[Page]

Ladies, you that seem so nice,

And in show as cold as ice,

And perhaps have held out thrice,

Doe not think, but in a trice,

One or other may entice;

And at last by some device,

Set your honour at a price.

You whose smooth and dainty skin,

Rosie lips, or cheeks, or chin,

All that gaze upon you win,

Yet insult not, sparks within

Slowly burn e'r flames begin,

And presumption still hath bin

Held a most notorious sin.

A Heart lost.

Good folk, for love or hire,

But help me to a Cryer,

For my poor heart is gone astray

After two eyes that went that way.

O yes! if there be any man

In Town or Country, can

Bring me my heart again,

I'll pay him for his pain.

[Page]And by these marks I will you show,

That onely I this heart doe ow:

It is a wounded heart,

Wherein yet flick [...] the dart,

Every part sore hurt throughout:

Faith and troth writ round about.

It is a tame heart and a deare,

That never us'd to roame,

But having got a haunt, I feare

Will never stay at home,

For love-sake walking by this way,

If you this heart doe see;

Either impound it for a stray,

Or send it home to me.

The sad Lover.

Why should I wrong my judgement so,

As for to love where I doe know

There is no hold for to be taken?

For what her wish thirsts after most,

If once of it her heart can boast,

Straight by her folly 'tis forsaken.

Thus whilst I still pursue in vaine,

Me thinks I turn a child again,

And of my shadow am a chasing.

[Page]

For all her favours are to me

Like appari [...]ions which I see,

But never can come near th' [...]bracing.

Oft had I wish'd that there had been

Some Almanack whereby to have seen

When love with her had been in season.

But I perceive there is no art

Can find the Epact of the heart,

That loves by chance, and not by reason.

Yet will I not for this despaire,

For time her humor may prepare

To grace him who is now neglected.

And what unto my constancy

Shee now denies: one day may be

From her instancy expected.

A Watch sent to a Gentlewoman.

Goe and count her happy hours,

They more happy are than ours:

That day that gets her any blisse,

Make it twice as long as 'tis:

The houre she smiles in, let it be

By thine art increas'd to thee:

[Page]But if she frown on thee or mee,

Know night is made, by her, not thee:

Be swif [...] in such an hour, and soon

Make it night, though it be noon:

Obey her time, who is the free,

Fair Sun that governs thee and me.

On a Fairing.

Let them whose hear [...] distrusts a Mistresse faith,

Bribe it with gifts: mine no suspition hath:

It were a sin of as much staine in me,

To think you false, as so my selfe to be.

If to reward that thou hast exprest,

Thou dost expect a present: 'tis confest

'Twere justice from another, but I am

So poor; I have not left my self a name

In substance; not made thine by gift before:

He that bestowes his heart, can give no more

If thou wouldst have a fairing from me, then

Give me my self back, I'll give it thee agen.

[figure]

Posies for Rings.

[Page]

Wee are agreed

In time to speed.

I trust in time

Thou wilt be mine.

In thy breast

My heart doth rest.

This and the giver

Are thine for ever.

Tis love alone

Makes two but one.

Loves knot once tyde

Who can divide?

Where hearts agree

No strife can be.

[Page]

God above

Increase our love.

Though time doe slide,

Yet in true love abide.

Nought so sweet,

As when we greet.

Thy affection,

My perfection.

With a

[figure]

to Julia.

Iulia, I bring

To thee this Ring,

Made for thy finger fit;

To shew by this,

That our love is

Or sho'd be, like to it.

Close though it be,

Thy joynt is free:

So when lov's yoke is on

It must not gall,

Or fret at all

With hard oppression.

[Page]

But it must play

Still either way;

And be, too, such a yoke,

As not too wide,

To over-slide;

Or be so strait to choak.

So we, who beare,

This beam, must reare

Our selves to such a height:

As that the stay

Of either may

Create the burden light.

And as this round

Is no where found

To flaw or else to sever:

So let our love

As endlesse prove;

And pure as Gold for ever.

True beauty.

May I finde a woman faire,

And her mind as clear as air;

If her beauty gone alone,

'Tis to me, as if 'twere none.

[Page]

May I find a woman rich,

And not of too high a pitch:

If that pride should cause disdain,

Tell me, Lover, where's thy gain?

May I find a woman wise,

And her falshood not disguise;

Hath she wit, as she hath will?

Double arm'd she is to ill.

May I find a woman kind,

And not wavering like the wind▪

How should I call that love mine,

When 'tis his, and his, and thine?

May I find a woman true,

There is beauties fairest hue;

There is beauty, love and wit,

Happy he can compasse it.

Choyce of a Mistresse.

Not that I wish my Mistris

More or lesse than what she is,

Write I these lines, for 'tis too late

Rules to prescribe unto my fate.

But yet a [...] tender stomach [...] call

For some choyce mea [...], that bears not all▪

[Page]A queazie lover may impart,

What Mistresse 'tis that please his heart.

First I would have her richly spred,

With natures blossomes white and red;

For flaming hearts will quickly dye,

That have not fewell from the eye.

[...] this alone will never win,

Except some treasure lies within;

For where the spoile's not worth the stay,

Men raise their siege and goe away.

I'd have her wise enough to know

When, and to whom a grace to show:

For she that doth at randome chuse,

She will, as soon her choyce refuse.

And yet methinks I'd have her mind

To flowing courtesie inclin'd:

And tender hearted as a maid,

Yet pity onely when I pray'd.

And I would wish her true to be,

(Mistake me not) I mean to me;

She that loves me, and loves one more,

Will love the Kingdome o'r and o'r.

[Page]

And I could wish her full of wit,

Knew she how to huswife it:

But she whose wisdome makes her dare

To try her wit, will sell more ware.

Some other things, delight will bring,

As if she dances, play, and sing.

So they be safe, what though her parts

Catch ten thousand forain hearts.

But let me see, should she be proud;

A little pride should be allow'd.

Each amorous boy will sport and prate

Too freely, where he finds not state.

I care not much though she let down

Sometime a chiding, or a frown.

But if she wholly quench desire,

'Tis hard to kindle a new fire.

To smile, to toy, is not amisse,

Sometimes to interpose a kisse;

But not to cloy; sweet things are good,

Pleasant for sawce, but not for food.

Wishes to his supposed Mistresse.

[Page]

Who e'r she be,

That is the onely she,

That shall command my heart and me.

Might you hear my wishes

Bespeak her to my blisses,

And be call'd my absent kisses.

I wish her beauty,

That owes not all his duty

To gawdy tire, or some such folly.

A face that's best

By its own beauty drest;

And can alone command the rest.

Smiles, that can warme

The blood, yet teach a charme

That chastity shall take no harme.

Joyes that confesse

Vertue her Mistresse,

And have no other head to dresse.

Dayes, that in spight

Of darknesse, by the light

Of a clear mind, are day all Night.

[Page]

Life that dares send

A challenge to his end,

And when it's come, say, Welcome friend.

Soft silken Howers,

Open Sunnes; shady Bowers,

Bove all; Nothing within that lowers.

I wish her store

Of wealth may leave her poore

Of wishes; and I wish no more.

Now if time knowes,

That her whose radiant browes,

Weave them a Garlant of my vowes.

Her that dare bee,

What these lines wish to see,

I seek no further, it is shee.

Such worth as this is,

Shall fix my flying wishes

And determine them to kisses.

Let her full glory,

(My fancies) fly before ye,

Be ye my fiction, but her my story.

To a Lady.

[Page]

Madam,

Should I not smother this ambitious fire,

Which actuates my verse: it would aspire

To blear your vertues, in a glimm'ring line;

And your perfections in its measures twine.

But I have check'd my fancie Muse, nor dare [...]

Dull Poetry attempt to scan the spheares;

Or in a cloudy rime invaile the light,

Or court the trembling Watchmen of the night;

Some vulgar vertue, or a single blaze,

Might stand in Verse; and would endure a gaze:

But when both Art, and Nature, shall agree

To summe them all in one Epitome:

When the perfections of both sexes, are

Lock'd in one female store-house; who shall dare

In an audacious rapture, to untwine

Into loose numbers, what Heaven doth enshrine,

In one rich breast? Dazled invention say,

Canst thou embowell either India,

In one poor rime? Or can thy torch-light fire,

Shew us the Sun; or any Star that's higher?

If thou wilt needs spend thy officious flame,

Doe it in admiration: but disclaime

Thy power to praise: thy senders wishes, bear,

And be the Herauld of the new-born year:

[Page]Wish that each rising Sun, may see her more

Happy, then when he rose the morn before;

And may, when e'r he gilds the envious West,

Leave her more blest, then when he grac'd the feast;

Wish higher yet, that her felicity

May equalize her vertues: Poetry

Thou art too low; canst thou not swell a strain

May reach my thoughts: good Madam since 'tis vain,

(And yet my verse to kisse your hand presum'd)

Let it to be your sacrifice be doom'd:

And what it wants in true Poetique fire,

Let the flame adde, till so my Muse expire.

An Eccho.

Come Eccho I thee summon,

Tell me truly what is Woman?

If worn, she is a feather,

If woo'd she's frosty weather;

If worn, the wind not slighter:

If weigh'd, the Moons not lighter:

If lain withall, she's apish:

If not laine with, she's snappish.

Come Eccho I thee summon,

Tell me once more what is woman?

If faire, she's coy in courting,

If witty, loose in sporting,

[Page]If ready, she's but cloathing,

If naked, she's just nothing,

If not belov'd, she horns thee;

If lov'd too well, she scorns thee.

The Eccho still replyed,

But still me thought she lyed.

Then for my Mistresse sake,

I againe reply did make.

If worn, she is a Jewell,

If woo'd, she is not cruell,

If won, no Rock is surer,

If weigh'd, no gold is purer,

If laine withall, delicious;

If not, yet no way vitious.

False Eccho goe, you lye,

See your errours I descry.

And for the second summon I

This for woman doe reply.

If faire, she's heavenly treasure,

If witty, she's all pleasure,

If ready, she is quaintest,

If not ready, she's daintiest,

If lov'd, her heart she spares not,

If not belov'd, she cares not.

False Eccho, goe you lye,

See, your errours I descry.

[Page]

[...]

[Page]

[...]

[...]

[Page]Icar.

Oh you doe my hearing wrong,

I have turn'd my eyes thus long

To be captiv'd by your tongue.

Phil.

Then my houres are happy spent,

If my tongue give such content,

It shall be thy Instrument.

Icar.

But be sure you use it then,

Thus unto no other men,

Lest that I grow deaf agen.

Fidelius and his silent Mris. Flora.

Fid.

My dearest Flora can you love me?

Flo.

Prethee prove me.

Fid.

Shall I have your hand to kisse?

Flo.

Yes, yes.

Fid.

On this whitenesse let me sweare,

Flo.

No, pray forbeare.

Fid.

I love you dearer then mine eyes.

Flo.

Be wise.

Fid.

I prize no happinesse like you.

Flo.

Will you be true?

Fid.

As i [...] the Turtle to her Mate.

Flo.

I hate.

Fid.

Who my divinest Flora, me?

Flo.

No flattery.

[Page]Fid.

He that flatters, may he dye.

Flo.

Perpetually.

Fid.

And his black urne be the cell,

Flo.

Where Furies dwell.

Fid.

May his name be blasphemous,

Flo.

To us.

Fid.

His memory for ever rot;

Flo.

And be forgot.

Fid.

Lest it keep our age and youth,

Flo.

From love and truth.

Fid.

Thus upon your Virgin hand,

Flo.

Your vows shall stand.

Fid.

This kisse confirmes my act and deed.

Flo.

You may exceed.

Fid.

Your hand, your lip, I'll vow on both;

Flo.

A dangerous Oath.

Fid.

My resolution ne'r shall start;

Flo.

You have my heart.

Fears and Resolves of two Lovers.

A.

What wouldst thou wish? tell me dear lover,

I.

How I might but thy thoughts discover.

A.

If my firme love I were denying,

Tell me, with sighes wouldst thou be dying?

I.

Those words in jest to hear thee speaking,

For very grief, this heart is breaking.

A.

Yet wouldst thou change? I prethee tell me,

[Page]In seeing one that doth excell me?

I.

O no, for how can I aspire,

To more then to my own desire?

This my mishap doth chiefly grieve me;

Though I doe swear' [...], you'l not believe me.

A.

Imagine that thou dost not love me;

But some beauty that's above me.

I.

To such a thing Sweet doe not will me;

The naming of the same will kill me.

A.

Forgive me faire one, Love hath feares:

I.

I doe forgive, witnesse these teares.

A Sonnet.

Who can define, this all things, nothing love,

Which hath so much of every thing in it?

Which watry, with the Planets oft doth move,

And with the Zoane it hath a fiery fit;

Oft seizes men, like massy stupid earth,

And with the Aire, it filleth every place;

Which had no Midwife, nor I think no birth,

No shrine, no arrows, but a womans face.

A God he is not, for he is unjust;

A Boy he is not, for he hath more power;

A Faction 'tis not, all will yeeld I trust;

What is it then, that is so sweetly sower?

No law so wise, that can his absence prove?

But (ah) I know there is a thing call'd Love.

A Love-sick-sonnet.

[Page]

Love is a Sicknesse full of woes,

All remedies refusing:

A plant that with most cutting grows,

Most barren with best using.

Why so?

More we enjoy it, more it dies,

If not enjoy'd, it sighing cries

Hey ho!

Love is a torment of the minde,

A tempest everlasting;

And Iove hath made it of a kinde,

Not well, nor full nor fasting.

Why so?

More we enjoy it, more it dies,

If not enjoy'd, it sighing cryes

Hey ho!

A Question.

Fain would I learn of men the reason why

They swear they dye for love, yet lowly ly?

Or why they fondly dote on, and admire

A painted face, or a fantastick tyre.

For while such Idols they fall down before,

[Page]They prove more fools then those they thus adore.

Answer.

The reason why men loving lowly ly;

Is hope to gaine their purposes therby.

And that they fondly dote on paint and tires;

'Tis just in love, to shew mens fond desires.

And for the rest, this have I heard from Schools

That love, makes foolish wise, & wise men fools.

Sighs.

All night I muse, all day I cry,

ay me.

Yet still I wish, tho still deny.

ay me.

I sigh, I mourn, and say that still,

I onely live my joyes to kill.

ay me.

I feed the pain that on me feeds,

ay me.

My wound I stop not, though it bleeds;

ay me.

Heart be content, it must be so,

For springs were made to overflow.

ay me.

Then sigh and weep, and mourn thy fill,

[Page]ay me.

Seek no redresse, but languish still.

ay me.

Their griefs more willing they endure,

That know when they are past recure.

ay me.

To Celia weeping.

Fairest, when thine eyes did poure

A chrystall shower;

I was perswaded, that some stone

Had liquid grown;

And thus amazed; sure thought I

When stones are moist, some rain is nigh.

Why weep'st thou? cause thou cannot be

More hard to me?

So Lionesses pitty, so

Doe Tygres too:

So doth that Bird, which when she's fed

On all the man, pines or'e the Head.

Yet I'le make better omens till

Event beguile;

Those pearly drops, in time shall be

A precious Sea;

And thou shalt like thy Corall prove,

Soft under water, hard above.

An Hymne to Love.

[Page]

I will confesse

With cheerfullnesse,

Love is a thing so likes me,

That let her lay

On me all day,

I'le kisse the hand that strikes me.

I will not, I,

Now blubb'ring cry,

It (ah!) too late repents me,

That I did fall

To love at all,

Since love so much contents me.

No, no, I'le be

In fetters free;

While others they sit wringing

Their hands for paine;

I'le entertaine

The wounds of love with singing.

With flowers and wine

And Cakes divine,

To strike me I will tempt thee:

Which done; no more

[Page]Ile come before

Thee and thine Altars empty.

Loves Discoverys.

With much of paine, and all the Art I knew,

Have I endeavor'd hitherto

To hide my love; and yet all will not doe.

The world perceives it, and it may be, she;

Though so discreet and good she be,

By hiding it, to teach that skill to me.

Men without love have oft so cunning growne,

That something like it they have showne,

But none that had it ever seem'd t'have none.

Love's of a strangely open, simple kind,

Can no arts or disguises find,

But thinks none sees it cause it self is blind.

The very eye betrayes our inward smart;

Love of himselfe left there a part,

When through it he past into the heart.

Or if by chance the face betray not it,

But keep the secret wisely, yet,

Like drunkennesse into the tongue 'twill get.

Heart-breaking.

[Page]

It gave a piteous groan, and so it broke;

In vaine it something would have spoke:

The love within too strong for't was

Like poyson put into a Venice Glasse.

I thought that this some Remedy might prove,

But, oh, the mighty Serpent Love,

Cut by this chance in pieces small,

In all still liv'd, and still it slung in all.

And now (alas) each little broken part

Feels the whole pain of all my heart:

And every smallest corner still

Lives with that torment which the whole did kill.

Even so rude Armies when the field they quit,

And into severall Quarters get;

Each Troop does spoyle and ruine more

Then all joyn'd in one body did before.

How many loves reigne in my bosome now?

How many loves, yet all of you?

Thus have I chang'd with evill fate

My Monarch Love into a Tyrant State.

A Tear sent his Mistresse.

[Page]

Glide gentle streams, and bear

Along with you my tear

To that coy Girle;

Who smiles, yet slayes

Me with delayes;

And strings my tears as Pearle.

See! see she's yonder set,

Making a Carkanet

Of mayden-flowers!

There, there present

This Orient,

And pendant Pearl of ours.

Then say, I've sent one more

Jem, to enrich her store;

And that is all

Which I can send,

Or vainly spend,

For tears no more will fall.

Nor will I seek supply

Of them, the springs once dry;

But I'le devise,

[Page](Among the rest)

A way that's best

How I may save mine eyes.

Yet say, sho'd she condemn

Me to surrender them;

Then say; my part

Must be to weep

Out them; to keep

A poor, yet loving heart.

Say too, she wo'd have this;

She shall: Then my hope is,

That when I'm poore,

And nothing have

To send, or save;

I'm sure she'll ask no more.

A Song.

To thy lover

Deer, discover

That sweet blush of thine tha [...] shameth

(When those Roses

It discloses)

All the flowers that Nature nameth

In free Ayre,

Flow thy Haire;

[Page]That no more Summers best dresses,

Be beholden

For their Golden

Locks to Phaebus flaming Tresses.

O deliver

Love his Quiver,

From thy Eyes he shoots his Arrowes,

Where Apollo

Cannot follow:

Feathered with his Mothers Sparrows.

O envy not

(That we dye not)

Those deer lips whose door encloses

All the Graces

In their place [...],

Brother Pearles, and sister Roses.

From these treasures

Of ripe pleasures

One bright smile to clear the weather.

Earth and Heaven

Thus made even,

Both will be good friends together.

The aire does wooe thee,

Winds cling to thee,

[Page]Might a word once flye from out thee;

Storm and thunder

Would fit under,

And keep silence round about thee.

But if natures

Common Creatures,

So deer glories dare not borrow;

Yet thy beauty

Owes a duty,

To my loving lingring sorrow.

When my dying

Life is flying;

Those sweet Aires that often slew me;

Shall revive me,

Or reprive me,

And to many deaths renew me.

The Cruell Maid.

And cruell maid, because I see

You scornfull of my love, and me:

Ile trouble you no more; but goe

My way, where you shall never know

What is become of me: there I

Will find me out a path to dye;

[Page]Or learn some way how to forget

You, and your name, for ever: yet

Ere I goe hence, know this from me,

What will, in time, your fortune be:

This to your coynesse I will tell;

And having spoke it once, Farewell.

The Lilly will not long endure;

Nor the Snow continue pure:

The Rose, the Violet, one day

See, both these Lady-flowers decay:

And you must fade, as well as they.

And it may chance that love may turn,

And (like to mine) make your heart burn.

And weep to see't; yet this thing doe,

That my last vow commends to you:

When you shall see that I am dead,

For pitty let a tear be shed;

And (with your Mantle o're me cast)

Give my cold lips a kisse at last:

If twice you kisse, you need not feare,

That I shall stir, or live more here.

Next hollow out a Tomb to cover

Me; me, the most despised Lover;

And write thereon, This, Reader, know,

Love kill'd this man. No more but so.

Silence.

[Page]

No; to what purpose should I speak?

No, wretched Heart, swell till you break!

She cannot love me if she would;

And to say truth, 'twere pity that she should.

No, to the Grave thy sorrows beare,

As silent as they will be there:

Since that lov'd hand this mortall wound doth give,

So handsomely the thing contrive,

That she may guiltlesse of it live.

So perish, that her killing thee

May a chance Medley, and no murther be.

'Tis nobler much for me, that I

By 'her beauty, not her Anger dye;

This will look justly, and become

An Execution, that a Martyrdome.

The censuring world will ne're refrain

From judging men by thunder slain.

She must be angry sure, if I should be

So bold to ask her to make me

By being hers, happier then she;

I will not; 'tis a milder fate

To fall by her not loving, then her hate.

And yet this death of mine, I fear,

Will ominous to her appear▪

[Page]When, sound in every other part,

Her sacrifice is found without an Heart;

For the last tempest of my death

Shall sigh out that too, with my breath.

His Misery.

Water, water I aspie:

Come, and coole ye; all who fry

In your loves; but none as I.

Though a thousand showers be

Still a falling, ye [...] I see

Not one drop to light on me.

Happy you, who can have seas

For to quench ye, or some ease

From your kinder Mistresses.

I have one, and she alone

Of a thousand thousand known,

Dead to all compassion.

Such an one, as will repeat

Both the cause, and make the heat

More by provocation great.

Gentle friends, though I despaire

Of my cure, doe you beware

Of those Girles, which cruell are.

The Call.

[Page]

Marina, stay,

And run not thus like a young Roe away,

No Enemy

Pursues thee (foolish Girle) 'tis onely I,

Ile keep off harmes,

If thou'l be pleas'd to garrison mine arms;

What dost thou feare

Ile turn a Traytour? may these Roses here

To palenesse shred,

And Lillies stand disguised in new red,

If that I lay

A snare, wherein thou wouldst not gladly stay;

See, see the Sun

Doth slowly to his azure lodging run;

Come sit but here,

And presently hee'l quit our Hemisphere;

So still among

Lovers, time is too short or else too long;

Here will we spin

Legends for them, that have love Martyrs been;

Here on this plaine

Wee'l talke Narcissus to a flower again;

Come here and chose

On which of these proud plate thou wouldst

Here mayst thou shame

[Page]The rusty Violets, with the Crimson flame,

Of either cheek;

And Primroses white as thy fingers seek;

Nay, thou mayst prove

That mans most noble passion, is to love.

A Check to her delay.

Come come away,

Or let me goe;

Must I here stay,

Because y'are slow;

And will continue so?

Troth Lady, no.

I scorne to be

A slave to state:

And since I'm free

I will not wait,

Henceforth at such a rate,

For needy fate.

If you desire

My spark sho'd glow,

The peeping fire

You must blow;

Or I shall quickly grow

To frost or snow.

The L [...]re.

[Page]

Farewell, nay prethee turn again,

Rather then loose thee, Ile arraign

My self before thee; thou (most faire) shall be

Thy self the Judge;

Ile never grudge

A law, ordain'd by thee.

Pray doe but see, how every Rose

A sanguine visage doth disclose,

O see, what Aromatick gusts they breath;

Come here we'le sit,

And learn to knit,

Them up into a wreath.

With that wreath, crowned shalt thou be;

Not grac't by it, but it thee;

Then shall the fawning Zephir [...] wait to hear

What thou shalt say,

And softly play,

While Newes to me they bear.

Come prethee come, wee'l now assay

To piece the scantnesse of the day;

Wee'l pluck the wheel [...] from th'charry of the Sun▪

That he, may give

Us time to live;

Till that our Scene be done.

[Page]

Wee'l suffer viperous thoughts, and cares,

To follow after silver haires;

Let's not anticipate them long before;

When they begin,

To enter in,

Each minute they'l grow more.

No, no, Marina, see this brook

How't would its posting course revoke,

Ere it shall in the Ocean mingled lie,

And what I pray,

May cause this stay;

But to attest our joy?

Far be't from lust; such wild fire, ne're

Shall dare to lurk or kindle here;

Diviner flames shall in our fancies roule,

Which not depresse

To earthlinesse,

But elevate the soule.

Then shall a grandiz'd love, confesse,

That soules can mingle substances;

That hearts can easily counter-changed be,

Or at the least,

Can alter breasts,

When breasts themselves agree.

To Iulia.

[Page]

'Tis Ev'ning my sweet,

And dark; let us meet;

Long time w'have here been a toying:

And never as yet,

That season co'd get,

Wherein t'have had an enjoying.

For pitty or shame,

Then let not loves flame,

Be ever and ever a spending;

Since now to the Port

The path is but short;

And yet our way has no ending.

Time flyes away fast;

Our howers doe wast;

The while we never remember,

How soon our life, here,

Grows old with the yeere,

That dyes with the next December.

Of Beauty.

What doe I hate, what's Beauty? lasse

How doth it passe?

As flowers, assoon as smelled at

Evaporate,

[Page]Even so this shadow, ere our eyes

Can view it, flies.

What's colour? 'las the sullen Night

Can it affright;

A Rose can more Vermilion speak,

Then any cheek;

A richer white on Lillies stands,

Then any hands.

Then what's the worth, when any flower

Is worth far more?

How constant's that which needs must dye

When day doth flye?

Glow-worms, can lend some petty light,

To gloomy night.

And what's proportion? we discry

That in a fly;

And what's a lip? 'tis in the test

Red clay at best.

And what's an Eye? an Eglets are

More strong by farre.

Who can that specious nothing heed,

Which flies exceed?

Who would his frequent kisses lay

On painted clay?

[Page]Wh'would not if eyes affection move

Young Egle [...]s love?

Is beauty thus? then who would lye

Love-sick and dye?

And's wretched selfe annihilate

For knows not what?

And with such sweat and care invade

A very shade?

Even he that knows not to possesse

True happinesse,

But has some strong desires to try

What's misery,

And longs for tears, oh he will prove

One fit for love.

Farewell to Love.

Well-shadow'd Landship, fare-ye-well:

How I have lov'd you, none can tell,

At least so well

As he, that now hates more

Then e're he lov'd before.

But my dear nothings, take your leave,

No longer must you me deceive,

Since I perceive

[Page]All the deceit, and know

Whence the mistake did grow.

As he whose quicker eye doth trace

A false star shot to a Market place,

Do's run apace,

And thinking it to catch,

A Gelly up do's snatch.

So our dull souls tasting delight

Far off, by sence, and appetite,

Think that is right

And reall good; when yet

'Tis but the counterfeit.

Oh! how I glory now; that I

Have made this new discovery?

Each wanton eye

Enflam'd before: no more

Will I increase that score.

If I gaze, now, 'tis but to see

What manner of deaths-head 'twill be,

When it is free

From that fresh upper-skin,

The gazers joy and sin.

[Page]

A quick Coarse me-thinks I spy

In ev'ry woman▪ and mine eye,

At passing by,

Check, and is troubled, just

As if it rose from Dust.

They mortifie, not heighen me:

These of my sins the Glasses be:

And here I see,

How I have lov'd before,

And so I love no more.

To a proud Lady.

Is it birth puffs up thy mind?

Women best born are best inclin'd.

Is it thy breeding? No, I ly'de;

Women well bred are foes to pride.

Is it thy beauty, foolish thing?

Lay by thy cloths, there's no such thing?

Is it thy vertue? that's deny'd,

Vertue's an opposite to pride.

Nay, then walk on, I'll say no more,

Who made thee proud, can make thee poore.

The Devill onely hath the skill

To draw fair fools to this foule ill.

On Women.

[Page]

Find me an end out in a Ring,

Turn a stream backwards to its spring,

Recover minutes past and gone,

Undoe what is already done,

Make Heaven stand still, make mountaines fly,

And teach a woman constancy.

An Apologetique Song.

Men, if you love us, play no more

The fools, or Tyrants, with your friends,

To make us still sing o're and o're,

Our own false praises, for your ends.

We have both wits and fancies too,

And if we must, let's sing of you.

Nor doe we doubt, but that we can,

If we would search with care and pain,

Find some one good, in some one man;

So going thorough all your strain,

Wee shall at last of parcells make

One good enough for a Song sake.

And as a cunning Painter take [...]

In any curious piece you see,

More pleasure while the thing he makes,

[Page]Then when 'tis made; why, so will we.

And having pleas'd our art, wee'll try

To make a new, and hang that by

Canto.

Like to a Ring without a Finger,

Or a Bell without a Ringer;

Like a Horse was never ridden,

Or a Feast and no Guest bidden,

Like a Well without a Bucket,

Or a Rose if no man pluck it:

Just such as these may she be said,

That lives, not loves, but dies a maid.

The Ring if worn, the Finger decks,

The Bell pull'd by the Ringer speaks,

The Horse doth ease, if he be ridden,

The Feast doth please, if Guest be bidden,

The Bucket draws the water [...]forth,

The Rose when pluck'd, is still most worth:

Such is the Virgin in my eyes,

That lives, loves, marries, ere she dies.

Like a Stock not graffed on,

Or like a Lute not playd upon,

Like a Jack without a weight,

Or a Bark without a fraight,

[Page]Like a Lock without a Key,

Or a Candle in the day:

Just such as these may she be said,

That lives, not loves, but dies a maid.

The graffed Stock doth bear best fruite,

There's Musick in the finger'd Lute,

The weight doth make the Jack goe ready,

The fraight doth make the Bark goe steady,

The Key the Lock doth open right,

A Candle's usefull in the night:

Such is the Virgin in my eyes,

That lives, loves, marries, ere she dyes.

Like a Call without a Non-sir,

Or a Question without an Answer,

Like a Ship was never rigg'd,

Or a Mine was never digg'd;

Like a Cage without a Bird,

Or a thing not long preferr'd.

Just such as these may she be said,

That lives, not loves, but dies a maid.

The Non-sir doth obey the Call,

The Question Answer'd pleaseth all,

Who rigs a Ship sailes with the wind,

Who digs a Mine doth treasure find,

The Wound by wholsome Tent hath ease,

[Page]The Box perfum'd the senses please:

Such is the Virgin in my eyes,

That lives, loves, marries ere she dies.

Like Marrow-bone was never broken,

Or Commendation and no Token,

Like a Fort and none to win it,

Or like the Moon, and no man in it;

Like a School without a Teacher,

Or like a Pulpit and no Preacher.

Just such as these may she be said,

That lives, ne'r loves, but dies a maid.

The broken Marrow-bone is sweet,

The Token doth adorn the greet,

There's triumph in the Fort being won,

The Man rides glorious in the Moon;

The School is by the Teacher still'd,

The Pulpit by the Preacher fill'd.

Such is the Virgin in mine eyes,

That lives, loves, marries, ere she dies.

Like a Cage without a Bird,

Or a thing too long deferr'd:

Like the Gold was never try'd,

Or the ground unoccupi'd;

Like a house that's not possessed

Or the Book was never pressed.

[Page]Just such as these may she be said,

That lives, ne'r loves, but dies a maid.

The Bird in Cage doth sweetly sing,

Due season prefers every thing,

The Gold that's try'd from drosse is pur'd,

There's profit in the Ground manur'd,

The House is by possession graced;

The Book when prest, is then embraced.

Such is the Virgin in mine eyes,

That lives, loves, marries, ere she dies.

A Disswasive from Women.

Come away, doe not pursue

A shadow that will follow you.

Women lighter then a feather,

Got and lost and altogethar:

Such a creature may be thought,

Void of reason, a thing of nought.

2.

Come away, let not thine eyes

Gaze upon their fopperies,

Nor thy better Genius dwell

Upon a subject known so well:

For whose folly at the first

Man and beast became accurst.

[Page]

3.

Come away, thou canst not find,

One of all that's faire and kind,

Brighter be she then the day,

Sweeter then a morne in May;

Yet her heart and tongue agrees

As we and the Antipodes.

4.

Come away, or if thou must

Stay a while: yet doe not trust,

Nor her sighs, nor what she swears.

Say she weep, suspect her tears.

Though she seem to melt with passion,

'Tis old deceipt, but in new fashion.

5.

Come away, admit there be

A naturall necessity;

Doe not make thy selfe a slave

For that which she desires to have.

What she will, or doe, or say,

Is meant the clean contrary way.

6.

Come away, or if to part

Soon from her, affects thy heart,

Follow on thy sports a while,

Laugh and kisse, and play a while:

Yet as thou lov'st me, trust her not,

Left thou becom'st a — I know not wh [...].

An Answer to it.

[Page]

Stay, O stay, and still pursue,

Bid not such happinesse adue,

Know'st thou what a woman is?

An Image of Celestiall bliss.

Such a one is thought to be

The nearest to Divinity.

2.

Stay, O stay, how can thine eye

Feed on more felicity?

Or thy better Genius dwell

On subjects that doe this excell?

Had it not been for her at first;

Man and beast had liv'd accurst.

3.

Stay, O stay, has not there been

O [...] Beauty, and of Love a Q [...]een?

Does not sweetnesse term a she

Worthy its onely shrine to thee?

And where will vertue chuse to ly,

If not in such a Treasury?

4.

Stay, O stay, wouldst thou live free?

Then seek a Nuptiall destiny:

'Tis not natures blisse alone,

(She gives) but Heavens, and that in one;

[Page]What she shall, or doe, or say,

Never from truth shall goe astray.

5.

Stay, O stay, let not thine heart

Afflicted be, unlesse to part

Soon from her. Sport, kisse and play

Whilst no howers enrich the day:

And if thou dost a Cuckold prove,

Impute it to thy want of love.

The Postscript.

Good Women are like Stars in darkest night,

Their vertuous actions shining as a light

To guide their ignorant sex, which oft times [...]all▪

And falling oft, turns Diabolicall.

Good Women sure are Angels on the earth,

Of these good Angels we have had a dearth:

And therefore all you men that have good wives,

Respect their Vertues equall with your lives.

[figure]

The Description of Women.

[Page]

Whose head befringed with b [...]-scattered [...]resse [...] ▪

Shew [...] like Apoll [...]es, when the morn he dresse [...]:

[Page]Or like Aurora when with Pearle she sets,

Her long discheveld Rose-crown'd Trammelets:

Her forehead smooth, full, polish'd, bright and high,

Bears in it selfe a gracefull Majesty;

Under the which, two crawling eye-brows twine

Like to the tendrills of a flatt'ring Vine:

Under whose shade, two starry sparkling eyes

Are beautifi'd with faire fring'd Canopies.

Her comely nose with uniformall grace,

Like purest white, stands in the middle place,

Parting the paire, as we may well suppose,

Each cheek resembling still a damask Rose;

Which like a Garden manifestly shown,

How Roses, Lillies, and Carnations grown;

Which sweetly mixed both with white and red,

Like Rose-leaves, white and red, seem mingled.

Then nature for a sweet allurement sets

Two smelling, swelling, bashfull Cherry-lets;

The which with Ruby-rednesse being tip'd,

Doe speak a Virgin merry, Cherry [...]lip'd.

Over the which a [...] sweet skin is drawne,

Which makes them shew like Roses under Lawne.

These be the Ruby-portalls and divine,

Which ope themselves, to shew an holy shrine,

Whose breach is rich perfume, that to the sense

Smells like the burn'd Sabean Frankincense;

In which the tongue, though [...] member sm [...]ll

Stande guarded with a Rosie-hilly-wall.

[Page]And her white teeth, which in the gums are set,

Like Pearle and Gold, make one rich Cabinet:

Next doth her chin, with dimpled beauty [...]

For his white, plump, and smoth prerogative.

At whose faire top, to please the sight the [...]e grow [...]

The fairest image of a blushing rose;

Mov'd by the chin, whose motion causeth this,

That both her lips doe part, doe meet, doe [...]

Her ears, which like two Labyrinths are pla [...]d

On either side, with which rare Jewels grac'd:

Moving a qu [...]st [...]on whether that by them

The Jem is grac'd, or they grac'd by the Jem.

But the foundation of the Architect,

Is the Swan-staining, faire, rare stately [...]eck,

Which with ambitious humblenesse stands under,

Bearing aloft this rich round world of wonder.

Her breast a place for beauties throne most fit,

Bears up two Globes, where love and pleasure sit;

Which headed with two rich round Rubies, show

Like wanton Rose-buds growing out of Snow,

And in the milky valley that's between,

Sits Cupid kissing of his mother Queen.

Then comes the belly, seated next below,

Like a faire mountain in Riphean snow:

Where Nature in a whitenesse without spot,

Hath in the middle tide a Gordian knot.

Now love invites me to survey her thighes,

Swelling in likenesse like two Crystall [...];

[Page]Which to the knees by nature fastned on,

Derive their e [...]er well 'greed motion.

Her legs with two clear Calves, like silver try'd,

Kindly swell up with little pretty pride;

Leaving a distance for the comely small

To beautifie the leg and foot withall.

Then lowly, yet most lovely stand the feet,

Round, short and cleer, like pounded Spices sweet;

And whatsoever thing they tread upon,

They make it sent like bruised Cynamon.

The lovely shoulders now allure the eye,

To see two Tablets of pure Ivory:

From which two arms like branches seem to spread

With tender vein'd, and silver coloured,

With little hands, and fingers long and small,

To grace a Lute, a Viall, Virginall.

In length each finger doth his next excell,

Each richly headed with a pearly shell.

Thus every part in contrariety

Meet in the whole, and make an harmony:

As divers strings doe singly disagree,

But form'd by number make sweet melodie.

Her supposed servant, described.

[Page]

I would have him if I could,

Noble; or of greater Blood:

Titles, I confesse, doe take me;

And a woman God did make me,

French to boo [...], at least in fashion,

And his manners of that Nation.

Young I'd have him to, and faire,

Yet a man; with crisped haire

Cast in a thousand snares, and rings

For loves fingers, and his wings:

Chestnut colour, or more slack

Gold, upon a ground of black.

Venus, and Minerva's eyes,

For he must look wanton-wise.

Eye-brows bent like Cupids bow,

Front, an ample field of snow;

Even nose, and cheek (withall)

Smooth as is the Biliard Ball;

Chin, as wholly as the Peach;

And his lip should kissing teach,

Till he cherish'd too much beard,

And make love or me afeard.

[Page]

He should have a hand as soft

As the Downe, and shew it oft;

Skin as smooth as any rush,

And so thin to see a blush

Rising through it e're it came;

All his blood should be a flame

Quickly fir'd as in beginners

In Loves School, and yet no sinners.

'Twere too long to speak of all

What we harmony doe call

In a body should be there.

Well he should his cloaths to wear;

Yet no Taylor help to make him

Drest, you still for man should take him;

And not think h'had eat a stake,

Or were set up in a brake.

Valiant he should be as fire,

Shewing danger more then ire.

Bounteous as the clouds to earth;

And as honest as his birth.

All his actions to be such

As to doe nothing too much.

Nor o're-praise, nor yet condemne;

Nor out-valew, nor contemne;

Nor doe wrongs, nor wrongs receive;

[Page]Nor tye knots, nor knots unweave;

And from basenesse to be free,

As he durst love truth and me.

Such a man with every part,

I could give my very heart;

But of one, if short he came,

I can rest me where I am.

Another Ladies exception.

For his minde, I doe not care,

That's a toy that I could spare;

Let his Title be but great,

His clothes rich, and band sit neat,

Himself young, and face be good,

All I wish 'tis understood.

What you please, you parts may call,

'Tis one good part I'd lie withall.

Abroad with the Maids.

Come sit we under yonder Tree,

Where merry as the Maids we'l be,

And as on Primroses we sit,

We'l venture (if we can) [...]t wit:

If not, at Draw-gloves we will play;

So spend some Minutes of the day;

Or else spin out the thred of sands,

Playing at Questions and Commands:

[Page]Or tell what strange tricks love can do,

By quickly making one of two.

Thus we will sit and talk; but tell

No cruell truths of Philomell,

Or Phillis, whom hard Fate forc't on,

To kill her selfe for Demophon.

But Fables we'l relate; how Iove

Put on all shapes to get a Love;

As now a Satyr, then a Swan;

A Bull but then; and now a Man.

Next we will act how young men woe;

And sigh, and kisse, as Lovers doe,

And talk of Brides; and who shall make

That wedding smock, this Bridal-Cake;

That dresse, this sprig, that leafe, this vine;

That smooth and silken Columbine.

This done, we'l draw lots, who shall buy

And guild the Bayes, and Rosemary:

What Posies, for our wedding Rings;

What Gloves we'l give and Ribonings:

And smiling at our selves, decree,

Who then the joyning Priest shall be.

What short sweet Prayers shall be said;

And how the Posset shall be made

With Cream of Lillies (not of Kine)

And Maidens-blush, for spiced wine.

Thus having talkt, we'l next commend

A kisse to each; and so we'l end.

[figure]

The Shepheards Holy-day.

[Page]

Mopso and Marina.

Mop.

Come Marina let's away,

For both Bride, and Bridegroom stay:

Fie for shame, are Swains so long

Pinning of their Head-gear on?

[Page]Prethee see,

None but we

'Mongst the Swaines are left unready:

Fie, make haft,

Bride is past,

Follow me, and I will lead thee.

Mar.

On, my loving Mopsus, on,

I am ready, all is done

From my head unto my foot,

I am fitted each way too't;

Buskins gay,

Gowne of gray,

Best that all our Flocks doe render;

Hat of Straw,

Platted through,

Cherry lip, and middle slender.

Mop.

And I think you will not find

Mopsus any whit behind,

For he loves as well to goe,

As most part of Shepheards doe.

Cap of browne.

Bottle-crowne,

With the legge I won at dancing,

And a pumpe,

Fit to jumpe,

When we Shepheards fall a prancing.

[Page]And I know there is a sort▪

Will be well provided for

For I hear, there will be there,

Liveliest Swaines within the shier [...]:

Jetting Gill,

Jumping Will;

O'r the floore will have their measure:

Kit and Kate

There will waite▪

Tib and Tom will take their pleasure.

Mar.

But I feare;

Mop.

What dost thou feare?

Mar.

Crowd the Fidler is not there:

And my mind delighted i [...]

With no stroke so much as hi [...].

Mop.

If not he;

There will be

Drone the Piper that will troun [...]e it.

Mar.

But i [...] Crowd

Struck alowd;

Lord me-thinks how I could bounce it.

Mop.

Bounce it Mall I hope thou will,

For I know that thou hast skill▪

And I am sure, thou there shalt find

Measures store to please thy mind.

[Page]Roundelayes.

Irish hayes,

Cog [...] and Rongs, and Peggie Ramsy,

Spaniletto,

The Venetto,

Iohn come kisse me, Wilsons fancy.

Mar.

But of all there's none so sprightly

To my ear, as Touch me lightly;

For it's this we Shepheards love,

Being that which most doth move;

There, there, there,

To a haire;

O Tim Crowd, me thinks I hear thee,

Young nor old,

Ne're could hold,

But must leak if they come near thee.

Mop.

Blush Marina, fie for shame,

Blemish not a Shepheards name;

Mar.

Mopsus, why, is't such a matter,

Maid [...] to shew their yeelding nature?

O what then,

Be ye men,

That will hear your selves so forward,

When you find

Us inclin'd

To your bed and board so toward?

[Page]Mop.

True indeed, the fault is ours,

Though we term it oft time yours.

Mar.

What would Shepheards have us doe,

But to yeeld when they doe woe?

And we yeeld

Them the field,

And endow them with their riches.

Mop.

Yet we know

Oft times too,

You'l not stick to wear the Breeches.

Mar.

Fools they'l deem them, that do hear them,

Say their wives are wont to wear them;

For I know, there's none has wit,

Can endure or suffer it;

But if they

Have no stay,

Nor discretion (as 'tis common)

Then they may [...]

Give the sway▪

As is fitting, to the Woman.

Mop.

All too long (dear Love) I ween,

Have we stood upon this T [...]eam:

Let each Lasse, a [...] once it was,

Love her Swain, and [...] his Lasse:

So shall we

Honour'd be,

[Page]In our mating, in our meeting,

While we stand

Hand in hand,

Honest Swainling, with his Sweeting.

Alvar and Anthea.

Come Anthea let us two

Go to Feast, as others do.

Tarts and Custards, Cream and Cakes,

Are the junkets still at Wakes:

Unto which the Tribes resort,

Where the businesse is the sport:

Morris-dancers thou shalt see,

Marian too in Pagentrie:

And a Mimick to devise

Many grinning properties

Players there will be, and those

Base in action as in clothes▪

Yet with strutting they will please

The incurious Villages.

Neer the dying of the day

There will be a Cudgel-play,

Where a Coxcomb will be broke,

Ere a good word can be spoke [...] ▪

But the anger ends all here▪

Drencht in Ale, or drown'd in Beere

[Page]Happy Rusticks, best content

With the cheapest Merriment:

And possesse no other fear,

Then to want the Wake next year.

The Wake.

I, and whither shall we go [...]?

To the Wake I trow:

'Tis the Village Lord Majors show,

Oh! to meet I will not fa [...]le;

For my pallate is in hast,

Till I sip againe and tast

Of the Nut-browne Lasse and Ale.

Feele how my Temples ake

For the Lady of the Wake;

Her lips are as soft as a Medler

With her posies and her points,

And the Ribbons on her joynts,

The device of the fields and the Pedler.

Enter Maurice-Dancer.

[Page]

[figure]

With a noyse and a Din,

Comes the Maurice-Dancer in:

With a fine linnen shirt, but a Buckram skin.

Oh! he treads out such a Peale

From his paire of legs of Veale,

The Quarters are Idols to him.

Nor doe those Knaves inviron

Their Toes with so much iron,

'Twill ruine a Smith to shooe him.

I, and then he flings about,

His sweat and his clout,

The wiser think it two Ells:

While the Yeomen find it meet,

That he jangle at his feet,

The Fore-horses right Eare Jewels.

Enter Fidler.

[Page]

[figure]

But before all be done,

With a Christopher strong,

Comes Musick none, though Fidler one,

While the Owle and his Granchild,

With a face like a Manchild,

Amaz'd in their Nest,

Awake from the Rest,

And seek out an Oak to laugh in.

Such a dismall chance,

Makes the Church-yard dance,

When the Screech Owle guts string a Coffin.

When a Fidlers coarse,

Catches cold and grows hoarse,

Oh ye never heard a sadder,

When a Rattle-headed Cutter,

Makes his will before Supper,

To the Tune of the Nooze and the Ladder.

Enter the Taberer.

[Page]

[figure]

I, but all will not doe,

Without a passe or two,

From him that pipes and Tabers the Tattoo.

He's a man that can tell 'em,

Such a Jigge from his vellam;

With his Whistle & his Club,

And his brac't halfe Tub,

That I think there ne're came before ye,

Though the Mothes lodged in't,

Or in Manuscript or print,

Such a pitifull parchment story.

He that hammers like a Tinker

Kettle Musick is a stinker,

Our Taberer bids him heark it;

Though he thrash till he sweats,

And out the bottome beats

Of his two Dosser Drums to the Market

Enter the Bag-piper.

[Page]

[figure]

Bag-piper good luck on you,

Th'art a Man for my money;

Him the Bears love better then honey.

How he tickles up his skill,

With his bladder and his quill;

How he swells till he blister.

While he gives his mouth a Glister,

Nor yet does his Physick grieve him;

His chops they would not tarry,

For a try'd Apothecary,

But the Harper comes in to relie [...]e him.

Whose Musick took its fountaine,

From the Bogge or the Mountaine,

For better was never afforded.

Strings hop and rebound,

Oh the very same sound

May be struck from a [...]ru [...]kle-bed coarded.

Cock-throwing.

[Page]

Cock-a-doodle-doe, 'tis the bravest game,

Take a Cock from his Dame,

And bind him to a st [...]k [...] ▪

How he strutt [...] how he throwes,

How he swaggers, how he crowes,

As if the day newly brake.

How his Mistriss Cackles,

Thus to find him in shackles,

And ty'd to a Pack-threed Garter;

Oh the Bears and the Bulls,

Are but Corpulent Gulls

To the valiant Shrove-tide Martyr.

Canto.

Let no Poet Critick in his Ale,

Now tax me for a heedlesse Tale,

For ere I have done, my honest Ned,

I'll [...] my matter to a head.

The Brazen Head speak [...] through the Nose,

More Logick then the Colledge knowes:

Quick-silver Heads run over all,

But Dunces Heads keep Leaden-ball.

[Page]

A Quirristers Head is made of aire,

A Head of wax becomes a Player,

So pliant 'tis to any shape,

A King, a Clowne, but still an Ape.

A melancholy head it was,

That thought it selfe a Venice glasse;

But when I see a drunken sot,

Methinks his Head's a Chamberpot.

A Poets Head is made of Match,

Burnt Sack is apt to make it catch;

Well may he gri [...] his houshold bread,

That hath a Windmill in his Head.

There is the tongue of ignorance,

That hates the time it cannot dance;

Shew him dear wit in Verse or Prose,

It reeks like Brimstone in his nose;

But when his Granhams will is read,

O dear! (quoth he) and shakes his head.

French heads taught ours the gracefull shake,

They learn'd it in the last Earth-quake.

The gentle head makes mouths in state,

At the Mechanick beaver pate.

The empty head of meer Esquire,

Scorns wit; as born a title higher.

[Page]In Capite he holds his lands,

His wisdome in Fee-simple stands.

Which he may call for, and be sped,

Out of the Footmans running head.

The Saracens, not Gorgons head,

Can look old ten in th'hundred dead

But deaths head on his fingers ends,

Afflicts him more then twenty fiends

An Oxford Cook that is well read,

Knows how to dresse a Criticks head.

Take out the brains, and [...] the noats,

O rare Calves-head for [...] throats.

Prometheus would be puzled,

To make a new Projectors head:

He hath such subtile turns and nooks,

Such turn-pegs, mazes, tenter-hooks:

A trap-door here, and there a vault,

Should you goe in, you'ld sure be caught;

This head, if e'r the heads-man stick,

He'll spoile the subtile politick.

Six heads there are will ne'r be seen,

The first a Maide past twice sixteen:

The next is of an Unicorne,

Which when I see, I'll trust his horne;

A Beggars in a beaver; and

[Page]A Gyant in a Pigmies [...] ▪

A Coward in a Ladies lap,

A good man in a Fryers cap.

The plurall head of multitude,

Will make good hodg-podge when 'tis stude;

Now I have done my honest Ned,

And brought my matter to a Head.

Interrogativ [...] Camilena.

If all the world were Paper,

And all the Sea were Inke;

If all the Trees were bread and cheese,

How should we doe for drinke?

If all the World were sand'o,

Oh then what should we lack'o;

If as they say there were no clay,

How should we take Tobacco?

If all our vessels ran'a,

If none but had a crack'a;

If Spanish Apes eat all the Grapes,

How should we doe for Sack'a?

If Fryers had no bald pate [...] ▪

Nor Nuns had no dark Cloysters,

[Page]If all the Seas were [...] and Pease,

How should we doe for Oysters?

If there had been no projects,

Nor none that did great wrongs;

If Fidlers shall turne Players all,

How should we doe for songs?

If all things were eternall,

And nothing their end bringing;

If this should be, then how should we,

Here make an end of singing?

The seven Planets.

♄ ♃ ♂ ☉ ♀ ☿ ☽

SATURNE diseas'd with age, and left for dead;

Chang'd all his gold, to be in involv'd in Lead.

IOVE, Iuno leaves, and loves to take his range;

From whom, man learns to love, and loves to change▪

IUNO checks Iove, that he to earth should come

Having her selfe to sport withall at home.

MARS is disarmed, and is to Venus gon,

Where Vulcans Anvill must be struck upon.

[Page]

[...] sees, yet 'cause he may not be allow'd,

[...]o say he sees, he hides him in a cloud.

VENUS tels Vulcan, Mars shall shooe her Steed,

For he it is that hits the naile o'th head.

The Aery-nuntius sly MERCURIUS,

[...]s stoln from Heaven to Galobelgicus.

LVNA is deemed chast, yet she' [...] a sinner,

Witnesse the man that she receives within her:

But that she's horn'd it cannot well be sed,

Since I ne'r heard that she was married.

The 12 Signes of the Zodiack.

♈

Venus to Mars, and Mars to Venus came,

Venus contriv'd, and Mars confirm'd the same:

[...] the place, the game what best did please,

[...] Vulcan ▪ found the Sun in ARIES.

♉

TAURUS, as it hath been alledg'd by some,

[...]s fled from Neck and Throat to roare at Rome.

[...] now the Bull is growne to such a rate,

The price has brought the Bull quite out of date.

[Page]

♋

CANCER the backward Crab is figur'd here.

O'r stomack, breast, and ribs to domineere.

Eve on a rib was made, whence we may know,

Women from Eve were Crab'd and backward too▪

♍

VIRGO the Phoenix signe (as all can tell ye)

Has regiment o'r bowells, and o'r belly.

But now since Virgo could not her belly tame,

Belly has forc'd Virgo to lose her name.

♏

SCORPIO Serpent-like, most slily tenders,

What much seduceth man, his privy members:

Which mov'd our Grandam Eve give eare unto

That secret-member-patron Scorpio.

♑

The goatish CAPRICORNE that us'd to presse

'Mongst naked Mermaidens, now's faln on [...]s [...]

Where crest-faln too (poor Snake) he lies as low

As those on whom he did his horns bestow.

♊

With arm in arm our GEMINI enwreath,

Their individuate parts in life and death:

[Page]The arms and shoulders sway, O may I have

But two such friends to have me to my grave.

♌

LEO a Port-like Prelate now become,

Emperiously retires to th' Sea of Rome:

A Sea, and yet no Levant-sea, for than

He were no Leo, but Leviathan.

♎

LIBRA the reins, which we may [...]ustly call

A signe which Tradesmen hate the worst of all:

For she implies even weights, but doe not look

To find this signe in every Grocers-book.

♐

If thou wouldst please the lasse that thou dost marry,

The signe must ever be in SAGITTARY:

Which rules the thighs, an influence more common

Mongst Marmosites & Monkies, then some women.

♒

AQUARIUS (as I informed am)

Kept Puddle-wharfe, and was a Waterman,

But being one too honest for that kind,

He row'd to Heaven, and left those knaves behind.

[Page]

♓

PISCIS the fish is said to rule the feet,

And socks with all that keep the feet from sweat▪

One that purveyes provision enough,

Of Ling, Poore-Iohn, and other Lenten stuffe.

A Hymne to Bacchus.

I sing thy praise Bacchus,

Who with thy Thyrse dost thwack us:

And yet thou so dost black us

With boldnesse that we feare

No Brutus entring here;

Nor Cato the severe.

What though the Lictors threat us,

We know they dare not beat us;

So long as thou dost heat us.

When we thy Orgies sing,

Each Cobler is a King;

Nor dreads he any thing.

And though he doth not rave,

Yet he'l the courage have

[Page]To call my Lord Major knave;

Besides too, in a brave.

Although he has no riches,

But walks with dangling breeches,

And skirts that want their stitches;

And shews his naked flitches;

Yet he'l be thought or seen;

So good as George-a-Green;

And calls his Blouze, his Queen,

And speaks in a Language keen.

O Bacchus! let us be

From cares and troubles free;

And thou shalt hear how we

Will Chant new Hymnes to thee.

[figure]

The Welshmans praise of Wales.

[Page]

I's not come here to tauke of Prut,

From whence the Welse do [...] take hur root;

Nor tell long Pedegree of Prince Camber,

Whose linage would fill full a Chamber,

[Page]Nor sing the deeds of ould Saint Davie,

The Ursip of which would fill a Navie.

But hark you me now, for a liddell tales

Sall make a gread deal to the creddit of Wales.

For her will tudge your [...]ares,

With the praise of hur thirteen Seers;

And make you as clad and merry,

As fouteen pot of Perry.

'Tis true, was wear him Sherkin freize,

But what is that? we have store of seize;

And Got is plenty of Coats milk

That sell him well will buy him silk

Inough, to make him fine to quarrell

At Herford Sizes in new apparrell;

And get him as much green Melmet perhap,

Sall give it a face to his Momouth Cap.

But then the ore of Lemster;

Py Cot is uver a Sempster;

That when he is spun, or did

Yet match him with hir thrid.

Aull this the backs now, let us tell yee,

Of some provisions for the belly:

As Cid and Goat, and great Goats Mother,

And Runt, and Cow, and good Cows uther.

And once but tast on the Welse Mutton;

Your Englis Seeps not worth a button.

[Page]And then for your Fisse, shall shoose it your disse,

Look but about, and there is a Trout.

A Salmon, Cor, or Chevin,

Will feed you six or seven,

As taul [...] man as ever swagger

With Welse Club, and long Dagger.

But all this while, was never think

A word in praise of our Welse drink:

Yet for aull that, is a Cup of Bragat,

Aull England Seer may cast his Cap at.

And what you say to Ale of Webley,

Toudge him as well, you'll praise him trebly,

As well as Metheglin, or Syder, or Meath,

S'all sake it your dagger quite out o'the seath.

And Oat-Cake of Guarthenion,

With a goodly Leek or Onion,

To give as sweet a rellis

As e'r did Harper Ellis.

And yet is nothing now all this,

[...] of our Musicks we doe misse;

Both Harps, and Pipes too, and the Crowd,

Must aull come in, and tauk aloud,

As lowd as Bang [...], Davies Bell,

Of which is no doubt you have here tell:

As well as our lowder Wrexam Organ,

And rumbling Rocks in the Seer of Glamorgan,

[Page]Where look but in the ground there,

And you sall see a sound there;

That put her all to gedder,

Is sweet as measure pedder.

Hur in Love.

A modest Shentle when hur see

The great laugh hur made on mee,

And fine wink that hur send

To hur come to see hur friend:

Her could not strose py Got apove,

Put was entangle in hur love.

A hundred a time hur was about

To speak to hur, and lave hur out,

Put hur being a Welshman porne,

And therefore was think, hur woud hur scorne:

Was fear hur think, nothing petter,

Then cram hur love into a Letter;

Hoping he will no ceptions take

Unto her love, for Country sake:

For say hur be Welshman, whad ten?

Py Got they all be Shentlemen.

Was decend from Shoves nown line,

Par humane, and par divine;

And from Venus, that faire Goddess,

And twenty other Shentle poddy [...]:

[Page] Hector stout, and comely Parris,

Arthur, Prute, and King of Fayris,

Was hur nown Cosins all a kin

We have the Powells issue in:

And for ought that hur con see,

As goot men, as other men pee:

But whot of that? Love is a knave,

Was make hur doe whot he woud have;

Was compell hur write the Rime,

That ne'r was writ before the time

And if he will nod pity hur paine,

As Got shudge hur soule, sall ne'r write againe:

For love is like an Ague-fit,

Was brin poor Welseman out on hur wit:

Till by hur onswer, hur doe know

Whother hur do love hur, ai or no.

Hur has not bin in England lung,

And conna speak the Englis tongue:

Put hur is hur friend, and so hur will prove,

Pray a send hur word, if hur con love.

[figure]

Of Melancholy.

[Page]

When I goe musing all alone,

Thinking of divers things fore-knowne,

When I build Castles in the aire,

Vold of sorrow and void of feare,

[Page]Pleasing my selfe with phantasmes sweet,

Me thinks the time runs very fleet.

All my joyes to this are folly,

Naught so sweet as melancholy.

When I lye waking all alone,

Recounting what I have ill done,

My thoughts on me then tyrannise,

Fear and sorrow me surprise,

Whether I tarry still or goe,

Me thinks the time moves very sloe.

All my griefs to this are jolly,

Naught so sad as melancholy.

When to my selfe I act and smile,

With pleasing thoughts the time beguile,

By a brook side or wood so green,

Unheard, unsought for, or unseen,

A thousand pleasures doe me bless,

And crown my soul with happinesse.

All my joyes besides are folly,

None so sweet as melancholy.

When I lye, sit, or walk alone,

I sigh, I grieve, making great moan,

In a dark grove, or irksome den,

With discontents and Furies then,

A thousand miseries at once,

[Page]Mine heavy heart and soul ensconce.

All my griefs to this are jolly,

None so soure as melancholy.

Me thinks I hear, me thinks I see,

Sweet Musick, wondrous melody,

Towns, places and Cities fine,

Here now, then there, the world is mine,

Rare Beauties, gallant Ladies shine,

What e're is lovely or divine,

All other joyes to this are folly,

None so sweet as melancholy.

Me thinks I hear, me thinks I see

Ghosts, goblins, feinds, my phantasie

Presents a thousand ugly shapes,

Headlesse bears, black-men and apes,

Dolefull outcries, and fearfull sights,

My sad and dismall soule affrights.

All my griefs to this are jolly,

None so damn'd as melancholy.

Me thinks I court, me thinks I kisse,

Me thinks I now embrace my Mistrisse.

O blessed dayes, O sweet content,

In Paradise my time is spent,

Such thoughts may still my fancy move,

So may I ever be in love.

[Page]All my joyes to this are folly,

Naught so sweet as Melancholy.

When I recount loves many frights,

My sighes and tears, my waking nights,

My jealous fits; O mine hard fate,

I now repent, but 'tis too late.

No torment is so bad as love,

So bitter to my soule can prove.

All my griefs to this are jolly,

Naught so harsh as Melancholy.

Friends and Companions get you gone,

'Tis my desire to be alone,

Ne're well but when my thoughts and I,

Doe domineer in privacy.

No Jem no treasure like to this,

'Tis my delight, my Crowne, my blisse.

All my joyes to this are folly,

Naught so sweet as Melancholy.

'Tis my sole plague to be alone,

I am a beast, a monster growne,

I will no light nor company,

I find it now my misery.

The scene is turn'd, my joyes are gone,

Fear, discontent, and sorrowes come.

[Page]All my griefs to this are jolly,

Naught so fierce as Melancholy.

Ile not change life with any King,

I ravisht am: can the world bring

More joy, then still to laugh and smile,

In pleasant toyes time to beguile?

Doe not, O doe not trouble me,

So sweet content I feele and see.

All my joyes to this are folly,

None so divine as Melancholy.

Ile change my state with any wretch,

Thou canst from gaole or dunghill fetch:

My pain's past cure, another Hell,

I may not in this torment dwell.

Now desperate I hate my life,

Lend me an halter or a knife.

All my griefs to this are jolly,

Naught so damn'd as Melancholy.

[figure]

On the Letter O.

[Page]

Run round my lines, whilst I as roundly show

The birth, the worth, the extent of my round O

That O which in the indigested Masse

Did frame it selfe, when nothing framed was.

[Page]But when the worlds great masse it selfe did show,

[...] largenesse, fairnesse, roundnesse a great O.

The Heavens, the Element, a box of O's,

Where still the greater doth the lesse inclose.

The imaginary center in O's made,

That speck which in the world doth stand or fade.

The Zodiack, Colours, and Equator line,

In Tropique and Meridian O did shine,

The lines of bredth, and lines of longitude,

Climate from Climate, doth by O seclude.

And in the starry spangled sky the O

Makes us the day from night distinctly know.

And by his motion, round as in a ring,

Light to himselfe, light to each O doth bring;

In each dayes journey, in his circle round,

The framing of an O by sense is found.

The Moon hath to the O's frame most affection:

But the Suns envy grudgeth such perfection.

Yet Dian hath each moneth, and every year,

Learned an O's frame in her front to bear.

And to requite Sols envy with the like,

With oft Eclipses at his O doth strike

In our inferiour bodies there doth grow

Matter enough to shew the worth of O.

Our brains and heart, either in O doth lye,

So that the nest of O's the sparkling eye.

The ribs in meeting, fashion an O's frame,

The mouth and ear, the nostrills bear the same.

[Page]The Latins honouring the chiefest parts,

Gloryed to make our O the heart of hearts;

Fronting it with three words of deepest sense,

Order, Opinion, and Obedience.

Oft have I seen a reverend dimmed eye,

By the help of O to read most legibly.

Each drop of rain that fals, each flower that grows

Each coyne that's currant doth resemble O's.

Into the water, if a stone we throw,

Mark how each circle joyns to make an O.

Cut but an Orange, you shall easily find,

Yellow with white and watery O's combin'd.

O doth preserve a trembling Conjurer,

Who from his Circle O doth never stir.

O from a full throat Cryer, if it come,

Strikes the tumultuous roaring people dumbe.

The thundring Cannon from this dreadfull O,

Ruine to walls, and death to men doth throw.

O utters woes, O doth expresse our joyes,

O wonders shews, O riches, or O toyes.

And O yee women which doe fashions fall,

O [...]tre, O gorget, and O farthingall,

And O yee spangles, O ye golden O's

That art upon the rich embroydered throws

Think not we mock, though our displeasing pen

Sometime doth write, you bring an O to men,

'Tis no disparagement to you ye know,

Since Ops the Gods great Grandame bears an O;

[Page]Your sexes glory (Fortune) though she reele,

Is ever constant to her O, her wheele,

And you Carroches through the street that glide,

By art of four great O's doe help you ride.

When tables full, and cups doe overflow,

Is not each cup, each salt, each dish an O?

What is't that dreadfull makes a Princes frowne,

But that his head bears golden O the Crowne?

Unhappy then th'Arithmatician, and

He that makes O a barren Cipher stand.

Let him know this, that we know in his place,

An O adds number, with a figures grace;

And that O which for Cypher he doth take,

One dash may easily a thousand make.

But O enough, I have done my reader wrong,

Mine O was round, and I have made it long.

Pure Nonsence.

When Neptune's blasts, and Boreas blazing storms,

When Tritons pitchfork cut off Vulcans horns,

When Eolus boyst'rous Sun-beams grew so dark,

That Mars in Moon-shine could not hit the mark:

Then did I see the gloomy day of Troy,

When poor Aeneas leglesse ran away,

Who took the torrid Ocean in his hand,

And sailed to them all the way by land:

An horrid sight to see Achilles fall,

He brake his neck, yet had no hurt at all.

[Page]But being dead, and almost in a trance,

He threatned forty thousand with his lance.

Indeed 'twas like such strange [...]ights then were seen

An ugly, rough, black Monster all in green.

That all about the white, blew, round, square, sky;

The fixed Starres hung by Geometry.

Iuno amazed, and Iove surpriz'd with wonder,

Caus'd Heaven to shake, and made the mountaines thunder.

Which caus'd Aeneas once again retire,

Drown'd Aetna's hill, and burnt the Sea with fire.

Nilus for fear to see the Ocean burn,

Went still on forward in a quick return.

Then was that broyle of Agamemnon's done,

When trembling Ajax to the battell come.

He struck stark dead (they now are living still)

Five hundred mushrooms with his martiall bill.

Nor had himselfe escap'd, as some men say,

If he being dead, he had not run away.

O monstrous, hideous Troops of Dromidaries,

How Bears and Bulls from Monks and Goblins varies!

Nay would not Charon yield to Cerberus,

But catch'd the Dog, and cut his head off thus:

Pluto rag'd, and Iuno pleas'd with ire,

Sought all about, but cou'd not find the fire:

But being found, well pleas'd, and in a spight

They slept at Acharon, and wak [...] all night:

Where I let passe to tell their mad bravadoes,

Their meat was tosted cheese and carbonadoes.

[Page]Thousands of Monsters more besides there be

Which I fast hoodwink'd, at that time did see;

And in a word to shut up this discourse,

A Rudg-gowns ribs are good to spur a horse.

A messe of Non-sense.

Like to the tone of unspoke speeches,

Or like a Lobster clad in logick breeches,

Or like the gray freeze of a crimson cat,

Or like a Moon-calfe in a slipshooe-hat,

Or like a shadow when the Sun is gon,

Or like a thought that ne'r was thought upon:

Even such is man, who never was begotten,

Untill his children were both dead and rotten.

Like to the fiery touchstone of a Cabbage,

Or like a Crablouse with his bag and baggage,

Or like th'abortive issue of a Fizle,

Or the bag-pudding of a Plow-mans whistle,

Or like the foursquare circle of a ring,

Or like the singing of Hey down a ding;

Even such is man, who breathles, without doubt,

Spake to small purpose when his tongue was out.

Like to the green fresh fading Rose,

Or like to Rime or Verse that runs in prose,

Or like the Humbles of a Tinder-box,

[Page]Or like a man that's sound, yet hath the Pox,

Or like a Hob-naile coyn'd in single pence,

Or like the present preterperfect tense:

Even such is man who dy'd, and then did laugh

To see such strong lines writ on's Epitaph.

An Encomium.

I sing the praises of a Fart;

That I may do't by rules of Art,

I will invoke no Deity

But butter'd Pease & Furmity,

And think their help sufficient

To fit and furnish my intent.

For sure I must not use high straines,

For fear it bluster out in graines:

When Virgils Gnat, and Ovids Flea,

And Homers Frogs strive for the day

There is no reason in my mind,

That a brave Fart should come behind;

Since that you may it parallell

With any thing that doth excell:

Musick is but a Fart that's sent

From the guts of an Instrument:

The Scholler but farts, when he gains

Learning with cracking of his brains.

And when he has spent much pain and oile,

Thomas and Dun to reconcile;

[Page]And to learn the abstracting Art,

What does he get by' [...]? not a fart.

The Souldier makes his foes to run

With but the farting of a Gun;

That's if he make the bullet whistle,

Else 'tis no better then a Fizle:

And if withall the wind doe stir up

Rain, 'tis but a Fart in Syrrup.

They are but Farts, the words we say,

Words are but wind, and so are they.

Applause is but a Fart, the crude

Blast of the fickle multitude.

Five boats that lye the Thames about,

Be but farts severall Docks let out.

Some of our projects were, I think,

But politick farts, foh how they stink!

As soon as born, they by and by,

Fart-like but onely breath, and dy.

Farts are as good as Land, for both

We hold in taile, and let them both:

Onely the difference here is, that

Farts are let at a lower rate.

I'll no say more, for this is right,

That for my Guts I cannot write,

Though I should study all my dayes,

Rimes that are worth the thing I praise.

What I have said, take in good part,

If not, I doe not care a fart.

The Drunken Humors.

[Page]

[figure]

One here is bent to quarrell, and he will

(If not prevented) this his fellow kill:

[Page]He fume [...], and frets, and rages; in whose face

Nothing but death and horrour taketh place.

But being parted, 'tother odd jugg, or two,

Makes them all friends again with small ado [...].

Another he makes deaf your ears to heare

The vain tautologies he doth declare;

That, had you as many ear [...] as Argus eyes;

He'd make them weary all with tales, and lyes:

And at the period of each idle fable,

He gives the on-set to out-laugh the Table.

One he fits drinking healthe to such a friend,

Then to his Mistris he a health doth send:

This publick Captain [...] health he next doth mean,

And then in private to some nasty Que [...]n;

Nothing but health [...] of love is his pretence,

Till he himselfe hath lost both health and sense.

To make the number up amongst the crew,

Another being o're-fil'd, begins to spue

Worse then the brutish beast; (O fy upon it!)

It is a qualme forsooth doth cause him vomit.

So that his stomack being over-prest,

He must disgorge it, o're he can have rest.

Here sits one straining of his drunken throat

Beyond all reason, yet far short of note:

[Page]Singing is his delight, then hoops and hallows,

Making a Garboyle worse then Vulcans bellows.

Now for a Coun [...]er-tenor he takes place,

But straining that too high, fall [...] to a base.

Then screws his mouth an inch beyond his forme,

To treble it, just like a Gelders-horne:

He's all for singing, and he hates to chide,

Till blithfull Bacchus cause his tongue be tide.

One like an Ape shews many tricks and toyes,

To leap, and dance, and sing with ru [...]full noise;

O're the foorme skips, then crosse-legd sits

Upon the Table, in his apish fits.

From house to house he rambles in such sort,

That no Baboon could make you better sport:

He pincheth one, another with his wand

He thrusts, or striketh, or else with his hand:

P [...]ss [...]s the room, and as he sleeping lyes,

Waters his Couch (not with repenting eyes.)

A seaventh, he sits mute, as if his tongue

Had never learn'd no other word but mum;

And with his mouth he maketh mops and mews,

Just like an Ape his face in form he screws:

Then nods with hum, and hah; but not one word

His tongue-tide foolish silence can afford.

To note his gesture, and his snorting after,

'Twould make a Horse break all his girts with laughter

[Page]But questionlesse he'd speak more were he able,

Which you shall hear, having well slept at table.

Sir reverence, your stomacks doe prepare

Against some word, or deed, ill-sent doth beare.

So this most sorded beast being drunk, doth misse

The Chamber-pot, and in his hose doth pisse.

Nay, smell but near him, you perhaps may find,

Not onely piss'd before, but — behind;

Each company loaths him, holding of their nose,

Scorning, and pointing at his filthy hose:

As no condition of a Drunkard's good,

So this smels worst of all the loathsome brood.

[figure]

The Post of the Signe.

[Page]

Though it may seem rude

For me to intrude,

With these my Bears by chance-a;

'Twere sport for a King,

If they could sing

As well as they can dance-a.

[Page]

Then to put you out

Of fear or doubt,

He came from St. Katharine-a.

These dancing three,

By the help of mee,

Who am the post of the Signe-a.

We sell good ware,

And we need not care,

Though Court and Countrey knew it;

Our Ale's o'th best:

And each good guest

Prayes for their soules that brew it.

For any Alehouse,

We care not a Louse,

Nor Tavern in all the Town-a;

Nor the Vintry Cranes,

Nor St. Clement Dones,

Nor the Devill can put us down-a.

Who has once there been,

Comes hither agen,

The liquor is so mighty.

Beer strong and stale,

And so is our Ale;

And it burns like Aqu [...]-vitae.

[Page]

To a stranger there,

If any appeare,

Where never before he has bin;

We shew th'Iron gate,

The wheele of St. Kate,

And the place where they first fell in.

The wives of Wapping,

They trudge to our tapping,

And still our Ale desire;

And there sit and drink,

Till they spue and stink,

And often pisse out the fire.

From morning to night,

And about to day-light,

They sit and never grudge it;

Till the Fish-wives joyne

Their single coyne,

And the Tinker pawns his budget.

If their brains be not well,

Or bladders doe swell,

To ease them of their burden;

My Lady will come

With a bowl and a broom,

And their handmaid with a Jourden.

[Page]

From Court we invite,

Lord, Lady, and Knight,

Squire, Gentleman, Yeoman, and Groom,

And all our stiffe drinkers,

Smiths, Porters, and Tinkers,

And the Beggers shall give ye room.

If you give not credit,

Then take you the verdict,

Or a guest that came from St. H [...]llow [...];

And you then will sweare,

The Man has been there,

By his story now that follows.

A Ballade.

[figure]

A Discourse between two Countrey-men.

[Page]

I Tell thee Dick where I have been,

Where I the rarest things have seen;

Oh things beyond compare!

[Page]Such sights againe cannot be found

In any place on English ground,

Be it at Wake or Faire.

At Charing-Crosse, hard by the way

Where we (thou know'st) do sell our H [...]y,

There is a House with stair [...];

And there did I see coming down

Such volk as are not in our Town,

Vortie at l [...]ast in pairs.

Amongst the rest, on p [...]st'lent fine,

(His beard no bigger though then thine)

Walkt on before the rest:

Our Landlord looks like nothing to him:

The King (God blesse him) 'twould undo him

Should he goe still to drest.

At Course-a-Park, without all doubt,

He should have first been taken out

By all the maid [...] [...] Town:

Though Iusty Roger there had been,

Or little George upon the Green,

Or Vincent of the Crown.

But wot you what? the youth was going

To make an end of all his wooing;

The Parson for him sta [...]d:

[Page]Yet by his leave (for all his ha [...]t)

He did not so much wish all past

(Perchance) as did the Maid.

The Maid (and thereby hangs a tale)

For such a Maid no Widson-Ale

Could ever yet produce:

No grape that's kindly ripe, could be

So round, so plump, so soft as she,

Nor halfe so full of juice.

Her finger was so small, the Ring

Would not stay on which he did bring,

It was too wide a peck:

And to say truth (for out it must)

It lookt like the great Collar (just)

About our young Colts neck.

Her feet beneath her peticoat,

Like little mice stole in and out,

As if they fear'd the light:

But Dick she dances such a way I

No Sun upon an Easter day

Is halfe so fine a sight.

He would have kist her once or twice,

But she would not, she was so nice

She would not do' [...] [...]n sight,

[Page]And then she lookt as who would say

I will doe what I list to day;

And you shall do't at night.

Her cheeks so rare a white was on,

No D [...]zy make comparison

(Who sees them is undone)

For streaks of red were mingled there,

Such as are on a Katherine Peare,

The side that's next the Sun.)

Her lips were red, and one was thin

Compar'd to Heat was next her chin;

(Some Bee had stung it newly)

But (Dick) her eyes so guard her face,

I durst no more upon them gaze,

Then on the Sun in Iuly.

Her mouth so small when she does speak,

Thou'dst swear her teeth her words did break,

That they might passage get,

But she so handled still the matter,

They came as good as ours, or better,

And are not spent [...] whit.

If wishing should be any sin

The Parson himselfe had guilty bin,

(She lookt that day so purely)

[Page]And did the youth so oft the feat

At night, as some did in conceit,

It would have spoil'd him surely.

Passion oh me! how I run on!

There's that that would be thought upon,

(I trow) besides the Bride.

The businesse of the Kitchin's great,

For it is fit that men should eat;

Nor was it there deny'd.

Just in the nick the Cook knockt thrice,

And all the Waiters in a trice

His summons did obey,

Each Serving-man with dish in hand,

Marcht boldly up like our Train'd band,

Presented and away.

When all the mea [...] was on the Table,

What man of knife, or teeth, was able

To stay to be intreated?

And this the very reason was

Before the Parson could say Grace,

The company was seated.

Now hats fly off, and youths carrouse;

Healths first goe round, and then the house,

The Brides came thick and thick;

[Page]And when 'twas nam'd anothers health,

Perhaps he made it here by stealth;

(And who could help it Dick?)

O'th sudain up they rise and dance;

Then sit againe, and sigh, and glance:

Then dance againe and kisse:

Thus sev'rall wayes the time did passe,

Whil'st every woman wisht her place,

And every man wisht his.

By this time all were stolne aside,

To councell and undresse the Bride;

But that he must not know:

But 'twas thought he ghest her mind,

And did not mean to stay behind

Above an houre or so.

When in he came (Dick) there she lay

Like new-faln snow melting away,

('Twas time I trow to part)

Kisses were now the onely stay,

Which soon she gave, as who would say,

God B'w'y'! with all my heart.

But just as Heavens would have to crosse it,

In came the Bride-maids with the Posset:

The Bridegroom eat in spight;

[Page]For had he le [...] the women to't

It would have cost two houres to do't,

Which were too much that night.

At length the Candle's out, and now,

All that they had not done, they doe:

What that i [...], who can tell?

But I beleeve it was no more

Then thou and I have done before

With Bridget, and with Nell.

The Good Fellow.

When shall we meet again to have a tast

Of that transcendent Ale we drank of last?

What wild ingredient did the woman chose

To make her drink withall? it made me lose

My wit, before I quencht my thirst; there came

Such whimsies in my brain, and such a flame

Of fiery drunkennesse had sing'd my nose,

My beard shrunk in for fear; there were of those

That took me for a Comet, some afar

Distant remote, thought me a blazing star;

The earth me thought, just as it was, it went

Round in a wheeling course of merriment.

My head was ever drooping, and my nose

Offering to be a suiter to my toes.

[Page]My pock-hole face, they say, appear'd to some,

Just like a dry and burning Honey-comb:

My tongue did swim in Ale, and joy'd to boast

It selfe a greater Sea-man then the toast.

My mouth was grown awry, as if it were

Lab'ring to reach the whisper in mine eare.

My guts were mines of sulphur, and my se [...]

Of parched teeth, struck fire as they met.

Nay, when I pist, my Urine was so hot,

It burnt a hole quite through the Chamber-pot:

Each Brewer that I met, I kiss'd, and made

Suit to be bound appren [...]i [...]e to the Trade:

One did approve the motion, when he saw,

That my own legs could my Indentures draw.

Well Sir, I grew stark mad, as you may see

By this adventure upon Poetry.

You easily may guesse, I am not quite

Grown sober yet, by these weak lines I write:

Onely I do't for this, to let you see,

Whos'ere paid for the Ale, I'm sur't paid me.

Canto, In the praise of Sack.

Listen all I pray,

To the words I have to say,

In memory sure insert um:

Rich Wines doe us raise

To the honour of Bayes,

Quem non fecere disertum?

[Page]

Of all the juice,

Which the Gods produce,

Sack shall be preferr'd before them;

'Tis Sack that shall

Create us all,

Mars, Bacchus, Apollo, virorum.

We abandon all Ale,

And Beer that is stale,

Rosa-solis, and damnable hum:

But we will rack

In the praise of Sack,

Gainst Omne quod exit in um.

This is the wine,

Which in former time,

Each wise one of the Magi

Was wont to carouse

In a frolick blouse.

Recubans sub tegmine fagi.

Let the hop be their bane,

And a rope be their shame

Let the gout and collick pin [...]

That offer to shrink,

In taking their drink,

Seu Graecum, sive Latinum.

[Page]

Let the glasse goe round,

Let the quart-pot sound,

Let each one doe as hee's done do:

Avaunt yee that hugge

The abominable Jugge,

'Mongst us Heteroclita sunto.

There's no such disease,

As he that doth please

His palate with Beer for to shame us:

'Tis Sack makes us sing,

Hey down a down ding,

Musa paulo majora canamus.

He is either mute,

Or doth poorly dispute,

That drinks ought else but wine O,

The more wine a man drinks,

Like a subtile Sphinx

Tantum valet ille loquendo.

'Tis true, our soules,

By the lowsie bowles

Of Beer that doth nought but swill us,

Doe goe into swine,

(Pythagoras 'tis thine)

Nam vos mutastis & illos.

[Page]

When I've Sack in my brain,

I'm in a merry vain,

And this to me a blisse is:

Him that is wise,

I can justly despise:

Mecum confertur Vlysses?

How it chears the brains,

How it warms the vains,

How against all crosses it arms us!

How it makes him that's poor,

Couragiously roar,

Et mutatas dicere formas.

Give me the boy,

My delight and my joy,

To my tantum that drinks his tale:

By Sack he that waxes

In our Syntaxes.

Est verbum personale.

Art thou weak or lame,

Or thy wits to blame?

Call for Sack, and thou shalt have it,

'Twill make thee rise,

And be very wise,

Cui vim natura negavit.

[Page]

We have frolick rounds,

We have merry go downs,

Yet nothing [...] done at randome,

For when we are to pay,

We club and away,

Id est commune notandum.

The blades that want cash,

Have credit for crash,

They'll have Sack whatever it cost um,

They doe not pay,

Till another day,

Manet alta mente repostum.

Who ne'r fails to drink,

All clear from the brink,

With a smooth and even swallow,

I'll offer at his shrine,

And call it divin [...]

Et erit mihi magnus Apollo.

He that drinks still,

And never hath his fill,

Hath a passage like a Conduit,

The Sack doth inspire,

In rapture and fire,

Sic aether aethera fundit.

[Page]

When you merrily quaffe,

If any doe off,

And then from you needs will passe the,

Give their nose a twitch,

And kick them in the britch,

Non componuntur ab asse.

I have told you plain,

And tell you again,

Be he furious as Orlando,

He is an asse,

That from hence doth passe,

Nisi bibit ad ostia stando.

The vertue of Sack.

Fetch me Ben Iohnsons scull, and fill't with Sack,

Rich as the same he drank, when the whole pack

Of jolly sisters pledg'd, and did agree,

It was no sin to be as drunk as he:

If there be any weaknesse in the wine,

There's vertue in the Cup to mak't divine;

This muddy drench of Ale does tast too much

Of earth, the Mault retains a scurvy touch

Of the dull hand that sows it; and I fear

There's heresie in hops; give Block-heads beer,

And silly Ignoramu [...], such as think

There's Powder-treason in all Spanish drink,

[Page]Call Sack an Idoll; we will kisse the Cup,

For fear the Conventickle be blown up

With superstition; away with Brew-house alm [...],

Whose best mirth is six shillings Beer, & qualms.

Let me rejoyce in sprightly Sack, that can

Create a brain even in an empty pan.

Canary! it's thou that dost inspire

And actuate the soule with heavenly fire.

Thou that sublim'st the Genius-making wit,

Scorn earth, and such as love, or live by it.

Thou mak'st us Lords of Regions large and faire,

Whilst our conceits build Castles in the aire:

Since fire, earth, aire, thus thy inferiour [...] be,

Henceforth I'll know no element but thee:

Thou precious Elixar of all Grapes,

Welcome by thee our Muse begins her scapes,

Such is the worth of Sack; I am (me thinks)

In the Exchequer now, hark how it chinks,

And doe esteem my venerable selfe

As brave a fellow, as if all the pelfe

Were sure mine own; and I have thought a way

Already how to spend it; I would pay

No debts, but fairly empty every trunk;

And change the gold for Sack to keep me drunk;

And so by consequence till rich Spaines wine

Being in my crown, the Indie [...] too were mine:

And when my brains are once afoot (heaven blesse us!)

I think my self a better man then Croesus.

[Page]And now I doe conceit my selfe a Judge▪

And coughing laugh to see my Clients trudge

After my Lordships Coach unto the Hall

For Justice, and am full of Law withall,

And doe become the Bench as well as he

That fled long since for want of honestie:

But I'll be judge no longer, though in jest,

For fear I should be talkt with like the rest,

When I am sober; who can chuse but think

Me wise, that am so wary in my drink?

Oh admirable Sack! here's dainty sport,

I am come back from Westminster to Court;

And am grown young again; my Ptisick now

Hath left me, and my Judge [...] graver brow

Is smooth'd; and I turn'd amorous as May,

When she invites young lovers forth to play

Upon her flowry bosome: I could win

A Vestall now, or tempt a Queen to sin.

Oh for a score of Queens! you'd laugh to see,

How they would strive which first should ravish me:

Three Goddesses were nothing: Sack has [...]ipt

My tongue with charms like those which Paris sipt

From Venus, when she taught him how to kisse

Faire Helen, and invite a fairer blisse:

Mine is Canary-Rhetorick, that alone

Would turn Diana to a burning stone,

Stone with amazement, burning with loves fire;

Hard to the touch, but short in her desire.

[Page]Inestimable Sack! thou mak'st us rich,

Wise, amorous, any thing; I have an itch

To t'other cup, and that perchance will make

Me valiant too, and quarrell for thy sake.

If I be once inflam'd against thy foe [...]

That would preach down thy worth in smal-beer prose,

I shall doe miracles as bad, or worse,

As he that gave the King an hundred Horse:

T'other odd Cup, and I shall be prepar'd

To snatch at Stars, and pluck down a reward

With mine own hands from Iove upon their backs

That are, or Charls his enemies, or Sacks:

Let it be full, if I doe chance to spill

Over my Standish by the way, I will

Dipping in this diviner Ink, my pen,

Write my selfe sober, and fall to't agen.

The Answer of Ale to the Challenge of Sack.

COme, all you brave wights,

That are dubbed Ale-knights

Now set out your selves in sight:

And let them that crack

In the praises of Sack,

Know Malt is of mickle might.

Though Sack they define

To holy divine,

[Page]Yet it is but naturall liquor:

Ale hath for its part

An addition of art,

To make it drink thinner or thicker.

Sacks fiery sume

Doth wast and consume

Mens humidum radicale;

It scaldeth their livers,

It breeds burning feavers,

Proves vinum venenum reale.

But History gathers,

From aged fore-fathers,

That Ale's the true liquor of life:

Men liv'd long in health,

And preserved their wealth,

Whilst Barley-broth onely was rife.

Sack quickly ascends,

And suddenly ends

What company came for at first:

And that which yet worse is,

It empties mens purses

Before it halfe quencheth their thirst.

Ale is not so costly,

Although that the most lye

Too long by the Oyle of Barley,

Yet may they part late

At a reasonable rate,

Though they came in the morning early.

[Page]Sack makes men from words

Fall to drawing of swords,

And quarrelling endeth their quaffing;

Whilst dagger-ale barrels

Bear off many quarrels,

And often turne chiding to laughing.

Sack's drink for our Masters:

A [...]l may be Ale-tasters▪

Good things the more common the better.

Sack's but single broth:

Ale's meat, drink, and cloth,

Say they that know never a letter.

But not to entangle

Old friends till they wrangle,

And quarrell for other mens pleasure;

Let Ale keep his place,

And let Sack have his grace,

So that neither exceed the due measure.

The Triumph of Tobacco over Sack and Ale.

NAy, soft, by your leaves,

Tobacco bereaves

You both of the Garland: forbear it:

You are two to one,

Yet Tobacco alone

[Page]Is like both to win it, and wear it.

Though many men crack,

Some of Ale, some of Sack,

And think they have reason to doe it;

Tobacco hath more,

That will never give o're

The honour they doe unto it.

Tobacco engages

Both sexes, all ages,

The poor as well as the wealthy,

From the Court to the Cottage,

From childhood to dotage,

Both those that are sick and the healthy.

It plainly appears

That in a few years

Tobacco more custome hath gained,

Then Sack, or then Ale,

Though the double the tale

Of the times, wherein they have reigned.

And worthily too,

For what they undoe

Tobacco doth help to regaine,

On [...]airer conditions,

Then many Physitians,

Puts an end to much grief and paine.

It helpeth digestion,

Of that there's no question,

The gout, and the toothach, it easeth:

[Page]Be it early, or late,

'Tis never out of date,

He may safely take it that pleaseth.

Tobacco prevents

Infection by sents,

That hurt the brain, and are heady,

An Antidote is,

Before you're amisse,

As well as an after remedy.

The cold it doth heat,

Cools them that doe sweat,

And them that are fat maketh lean:

The hungry doth feed,

And, if there be need,

Spent spirits restoreth again.

Tobacco infused

May safely be used

For purging, and killing of lice:

Not so much as the ashes

But heals cuts and slashes,

And that out of hand, in a trice.

The Poets of old,

Many fables have told,

Of the Gods and their Symposia:

But Tobacco alone,

Had they known it, had gone

For their Nectar and Ambrosia.

It is not the smack

[Page]Of Ale, or of Sack,

That can with Tobacco compare:

For taste, and for smell,

It bears away the bell

From them both where ever they are.

For all their bravado,

It is Trinidado

That both their noses will wipe

Of the praises they desire,

Unlesse they conspire

To sing to the tune of his pipe.

Turpe est difficiles habere nug [...]s.

A Farewell to Sack.

FArewell thou thing, time past so true and dear

To me, as bloud to life, and spirit, and near,

Nay thou more near then kindred, friend, or wife,

Male to the female, soule to the body, life

To quick action, or the warm soft side

Of the yet chast, and undefiled Bride.

These and a thousand more could never be

More near, more dear, then thou wert once to me.

'Tis thou above, that with thy mystick faln

Work'st more then Wisdome, Art, or Nature can;

To raise the holy madnesse, and awake

[Page]The frost bound-blood and spirits, and to make

Them frantick with thy raptures, stretching through

The soul [...] like lightning, & as active too.

But why, why doe I longer gaze upon

Thee, with the eye of admiration,

When I must leave thee, and inforc'd must say,

To all thy witching beauties, Goe away?

And if thy whimpring looks do ask me, why?

Know then, 'tis Nature biddeth thee hence, not I;

'Tis her erroneous selfe hath form'd my brain,

Uncapable of such a Soverain,

As is thy powerfull selfe; I prethee draw in

Thy gazing fires, lest at their sight the sin

Of fierce Idolatry shoot into me, and

I turn Apostate to the strict command

Of Nature; bid me now farewell, or smile

More ugly, lest thy tempting looks beguile

My vows pronounc't in zeal, [...] thus much shows thee,

That I have sworn, but by thy looks to know thee

Let others drink thee boldly, and desire

Thee, and their lips espous'd, while I admire

And love, but yet not tast thee: let my Muse

Faile of thy former helps, and onely use

Her inadulterate strength, whats done by me,

Shall smell hereafter of the Lamp, not thee.

A fit of Rime against Rime.

Rime the rack of finest wits,

That expresseth but by fit [...]

[Page]True conceit.

Spoyling senses of their treasure,

Cousening judgement with a measure,

But false weight.

Wresting words from their true calling,

Propping Verse for fear of falling

To the ground.

Joynting syllables, drowning letters,

F [...]st [...]ing vowels, as with fetter [...]

They were bound.

Soon as lazie thou wer't known,

All good Poetry hence was flown,

And art banish'd.

For a thousand years together,

All Parnassus green did wither.

And wit vanish'd.

Pegasus did fly away,

At the wells no Muse did stay,

But bewayl'd.

So to see the fountaine dry,

And Apollo's Musick dye;

All light fail'd!

S [...]arveling Rimes did fill the stage,

Not a Poet in an age

Worth crowning.

Not a work deserving Bayes,

Nor a l [...]ne deserving praise;

Pallas frowning.

[Page]Greek was free from Rimes infection,

Happy Greek by this protection

Was not spoyled.

Whilst the Latine, Queen of Tongues,

Is not free from Rimes wrongs;

But [...] soiled.

Scarce the hill againe doth flourish,

Scarce the world a wit doth nourish,

To restore,

Phaebus to his Crown again;

And the Muses to their brain,

As before.

Vulgar languages that want

Words, and sweetnesse, and be scant

Of true measure,

Tyran Rime hath so abused,

That they long since have refused

Other ceasure.

He that first invented thee,

May his joynts tormented be,

Cramp'd for ever.

Still may syllables joyn with time,

Still may reason war with rime,

Resting never.

May his sense when it would meet,

The cold [...]umor in his feet,

Grow unsounder.

And his title be long foole,

[Page]That in rearing such a Schoole,

Was the Founder.

A Letany.

From a proud Woodcock, and a peevish wife,

A pointlesse Needle, and a broken Knife,

From lying in a Ladies lap,

Like a great foole that longs for pap,

And from the fruit of the three corner'd tree,

Vertue and goodnesse still deliver me.

From a conspiracy of wicked knaves,

A knot of villains, and a crew of slaves,

From laying plots for to abuse a friend,

From working humors to a wicked end,

And from the wood where Wolves and Foxes be,

Vertue and goodnesse still deliver me.

From resty Bacon, and ill rosted E [...]les,

And from a madding wit that runs on wheeles,

A vap'ring humour, and a beetle head,

A smoky chimney, and a lowsie bed,

A blow upon the elbow and the knee,

From each of these, goodnesse deliver me.

From setting vertue at too low a price,

From losing too much coyn at Cards and Dice.

[Page]From surety-ship, and from an empty purse,

Or any thing that may be [...] worse;

From all such ill, wherein no good can be,

Vertue and goodnesse still deliver me.

From a foole, and serious toyes,

From a Lawyer three parts noise;

From impertinence like a Drum

Beat at dinner in his room,

From a tongue without a file,

Heaps of Phrases and no [...],

From a Fiddler out of tune,

As the Cuckoo is in Iune.

From a Lady that doth breath

Worse above, then underneath.

From the bristles of a Hog,

Or the ring-worm in a Dog:

From the courtship of a bryer,

Or St. Anthonies old fire.

From the mercy of some Jaylors,

From the long bills of all Taylors,

From Parasites that will stroak us,

From morsells that will choak us,

From all such as purses cut,

From a filthy durty slut,

From Canters and great eaters,

From Patentees and Cheaters,

From men with reason tainted,

[Page]From women which are painted,

From all far-fetch'd new fangles,

From him that ever wrangles,

From rotten Cheese, and addle Eggs,

From broken shine, and gowty Leggs,

From a Pudding hath no end,

From bad men that never mend,

From the Counter or the Fleet,

From doing penance in a sheet,

From Jesuites, Monk [...], and Fryers,

From hypocrites, knaves, and lyers,

From Romes Pardons, Bulls, and Masses,

From Bug-bears, and broken Glasses,

From Spanish Pensions and their spies,

From weeping Cheese with Argus eyes,

From forain foes invasions,

From Papisticall perswasions,

From private gain, by publick losse,

From coming home by weeping crosse,

From all these I say agen,

Heaven deliver me, Amen.

The Gypsies.

[figure]

The Captain sings.

[Page]

FRom the famous Peake of Darby,

And the Devills-arse there hard-by,

Where we yearly keep our Musters,

Thus the Aegyptians throng in clusters.

[Page]

Be not frighted with our fashion,

Though we seem a tattered Nation;

We account our raggs, our riches,

So our Tricks exceed our stitches.

Give us Bacon, rinds of Wallnuts,

Shells of C [...]ckels, and of small Nuts;

Ribands, b [...]ll [...], and saffrand linnen,

All the world is ours to win in.

Knacks we have that will delight you,

Slight of hand that will invite you.

To endure ou [...] tawny faces

Quit your places, and not cause you cut your laces.

All your fortunes we can tell yee,

Be they for the back or belly;

In the Moods too and the Tences,

That may fit your fine five senses.

Draw but then your gloves we pray you,

And [...]it still, we will not fray you;

For though we be here at Burley,

Wee'd be loath to make a hurley.

Another sings.

STay my sweet Singer,

[...]he touch of thy finger,

A [...] and linger;

[Page]For me that am bringer

Of bound to the border,

The rule and Recorder,

And mouth of the order,

As Pri [...]t of the Game,

And Prelate of the same.

There's a Gentry Cove here,

Is the top of the shiere,

Of the Bever Ken,

A man among men;

You need not to feare,

I have an eye, and an eare

That turns here and there,

To look to our geare.

Some say that there be,

One or two, if not three,

That are greater then he.

And for the Rome-Mor [...]s,

I know by their Ports

And their jolly resorts

They are of the sorts

That love the true sports

Of King Ptolomeus,

Or great Coriphaeus,

And Queen Cleopatra,

The Gypsies grand Matra.

Then if we shall shark it,

Here Faire is, and Market.

[Page]Leave Pig Py and Goose,

And play fast and loose,

A short cut and long,

Some inch of a Song,

Pythagoras lot,

Drawn out of a pot;

With what says Alkindus

And Pharaotes Indus,

Iohn de Indagine

With all their Pagine,

Of faces and Palmestrie,

And this is All mysterie.

Lay by your Wimbles,

Your boring for Thimbles,

Or using your nimbles,

In diving the Pockets,

And sounding the sock [...]ts

Of Simper the Cocke [...]s;

Or angling the purses,

Of such as will curse us;

But in the strict duell

Be merry, and cruell,

Strike faire at some Jewell

That mine may accrew well

For that is the fuell,

To make the Towne brew well,

And the Pot wring well,

And the braine sing well,

[Page]Which we may bring well

About by a string well,

And doe the [...]hing well.

It is but a straine

Of true legerdemaine,

Once twice and againe.

Or what will you say now?

If with our fine play now,

Our knack and our dances,

We work on the Fancies

Of some of your Nancies.

These trinckets, and tripsies▪

And make 'em turn Gypsies.

Here's no Justice Lippus

Will seek for to nip us,

In Cramp-ring or Cippus,

And then for to strip us,

And after to whip us.

His justice to vary,

While here we doe tarry

But be wise, and wary

And we may both carry

The Kate and the Mary,

And all the bright ae'ry.

Away to the Q [...]arry.

Or durst I goe further

In method and order,

There's a Purse and a Seale,

[Page]I have a great mind to steale.

That when our tricks are done,

We might seale our own pardon;

All this we may doe,

And a great deal more too,

If our brave Ptolomee,

Will but say follow me.

To those that would be Gypsies too.

FRiends not to refell ye,

Or any way quell ye,

To buy or to [...]ell ye,

I onely must tell ye,

Ye aim at a Mystery

Worthy a History;

There's much to be done,

Ere you can be a Sonne,

Or brother of the Moone.

'Tis not so soone

Acquir'd as de [...]ir'd.

You must be Ben-bousie,

And sleepy and drowsie,

And lasie, and lowsie,

Before ye can rouse ye,

In shape that arowse ye.

And then you may stalk

The Gypsies walk;

[Page]To the Coops and the Pens.

And bring in the Hens,

Though the Cock be sullen

For losse of the Pullen:

Take Turkie, or Capon,

And Gammons of Bacon,

Let nought be forsaken;

We'l let you goe loose

Like a Fox to a Goose,

And shew you the stye

Where the little Pigs lye;

Whence if you can take

One or two, and not wake

The Sow in her dreams,

But by the Moon beam [...];

So warily hie,

As neither doe cry.

You shall the next day

Have license to play

At the hedge a flirt

For a sheet or a shirt;

If your hand be light,

I'le shew you the slight

Of our Ptolomies knot,

It is, and 'tis not.

To change your complexion

With the noble confection

[Page]Of Wallnuts and Hogs-grease,

Better then Dogs-grease:

And to milk the kine,

Ere the milkmaid fine

Hath opened her [...]ne.

Or if you desire

To spit, or fart fire,

Ile teach you the knacks,

Of eating of flax;

And out of their noses,

Draw ribbands and posies.

And if you incline

To a cup of good wine,

When you sup or dine;

If you chance it to lack,

Be it Claret or Sack;

Ile make this snout,

To deale it about,

Or this to run out,

As it were from a spout.

[figure]

A Farewell to Folly.

[Page]

FArewell, ye gilded follies, pleasing troubles;

Farewell, ye honor'd rag [...], ye christall bubles;

Fame's but a hollow Eccho; Gold, poor clay;

Honour, the darling, but of one short day;

Beauties chief Idoll, but a damask skin;

State, but a golden Prison to live in,

And torture free-born minds; imbroydred trains,

But goodly Pageant [...]? proudly swelling vains,

And blood alal'd to greatnesse, is but loane,

Inherited, not purchast, not our owne.

Fame, Riches, Honour, Beauty, State, Trains, Birth▪

Are but the fading blessings of the Earth,

I would be rich, but see man too unkinde;

Digs in the bowels of the richest Mine.

[Page]I would be great, but yet the Sun doth still

Levell his beams against the rising hill.

I would be faire, but see the Champion proud,

The worlds faire eye, oft setting in a cloud.

I would be wise, but that the Fox I see

Suspected guilty, when the Fox is free.

I would be poor, but see the humble grasse

Trampled upon, by each unworthy asse.

Rich, hated; wise, suspected; scorn'd if poor;

Great, fear'd; fair, tempted; high, still envide more.

Would the world then, adopt me for her heire;

Would beauties Queen, entitle me the faire;

Fame, speak me honours Minion; and could I

With Indian-Angels, and a speaking eye,

Command bare heads, bow'd knees, strike Justice dumbe,

As well as blind and lame, and give a tongue

To stones by Epitaphs; be call'd great Master;

In the loose lines of every Poetaster;

Could I be more, then any man that lives;

Great, Wise, Rich, Faire, all in superlatives:

Yet I these favours, would more free resigne,

Then ever fortune would have had them mine.

I count one minute of my holy leasure,

Beyond the mirth of all this earthly pleasure.

Welcom pure thoughts, welcom ye carelee groves;

These are my guests; this is the Court age loves.

The winged people of the skies shall sing

Me Anthems, by my sellers gentle spring.

[Page]Divinity shall be my Looking-glasse,

Wherein I will adore sweet vertues face.

Here dwels no heartlesse loves, no pale-fac't fears,

No short joyes purchast with eternall tears.

Here will I sit and sigh my hot youths folly;

And learn to affect an holy Melancholy:

And if contentment be a stranger, then

Ile ne'r look for it but in heaven agen.

An Invitation to the Reader.

HAving now fed thy youthfull frencies, with these Juvenilian Fancies; let me invite thee (with my selfe) to sing Altiora peto. And then to meet with this thy noble resolution; I would commend to thy sharpest view and serious consideration; The Sweet Caelestiall sacred Poems by Mr. Henry Vaughan, intituled Silex Scintillans.

There plumes from Angels wings, he'l lend thee,

Which every day to heaven will send thee.

(Heare him thus invite thee home.)

If thou wouldst thither, linger not,

Catch at the place,

Tell youth, and beauty, they must rot,

They'r but a Case:

Loose, parcell'd hearts will freeze; the Sun

[Page]With scatter'd locks

Scarce warm [...], but by contraction

Can heat Rocks;

Call in thy powers; run, and reach

Home with the light;

Be there, before the shadows stretch,

And span up nighs;

Follow the Cry no more: there is

An ancient way

All strewed with flowers and happinesse,

And fresh as May;

There turn, and turn no more; let wits,

Smile at faire eyes,

Or lips; but who there weeping sits,

Hath got the prize.

FINIS. 1654.

[Page]

Information about this book

Title statement

Recreation for ingenious head-peeces, or, A pleasant grove for their wits to walk in of epigrams 700, epitaphs 200, fancies a number, fantasticks abundance : with their addition, multiplication, and division.

Mennes, John, Sir, 1599-1671.

Edition statement

1654

Publication

Publisher

Text Creation Partnership,

Place of publication

Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) :

Date

2003-09 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1).

ID [DLPS]

A50616

ID [STC]

Wing M1714

ID [STC]

ESTC R31890

ID [EEBO-CITATION]

12272443

ID [OCLC]

ocm 12272443

ID [VID]

58312

Availability

This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal. The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission.

Series

Early English books online.

Notes

(EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A50616)

Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 58312)

Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 1508:9)

Source

— Recreation for ingenious head-peeces, or, A pleasant grove for their wits to walk in of epigrams 700, epitaphs 200, fancies a number, fantasticks abundance : with their addition, multiplication, and division., Mennes, John, Sir, 1599-1671., Smith, James, 1605-1667..

Extent

ca. 400 p. : ill.

Printed by M. Simmons ...,. London :: 1654.. (Added t.p. engr. and illus.: Witt's recreation refined, augmented with ingenious conceites for the wittie, and merry medicines for the melancholie.) ("Has been ascribed to Sir John Mennes and James Smith, but includes the work of others"--NUC pre-1956 imprints.) (Reproduction of original in the University of Illinois (Urbana-Champaign Campus). Library.)

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