• A. Errando, disco.
  • B. Numinis arbitrio res hominum anxio, motu, ancipite cursu volvuntur, et revolvuntur. Cic.
  • C. Mundus in ambiguo.
  • D. Circus inest Mundo.
  • E. Emblema est vita Meandri.
  • F. Effigies Mundi Sinuosa Figura Meandri vndae sunt curae; ripa Memento, mori.
  • G. Daedalus est Orbi velut Area flexilis Horti, Stamen Ariadnis Daedale redde mihi.
  • H. Vnde Labyrinthus? labor est quia labilis intus, Quo veniens redeo; quo rediturus eo.

THE MAZE: Contrived, Digested, and Couched in these distinct Subjects: REPRESENTATIVES For these present times to admire: PRESIDENTS For future Ages to decline.



Orderly Marshall'd with these Poems:

Sperate miseri; Cavete faelices.

Printed in the year 1659.

TO His poor PATRONS.

TO all Delinquents that shall trace
The winding angles of this MAZE,
Send I this
With my wish,
Alluding to the Act of Grace.
That this Act of saving Grace
May not prove like Chevy-chace,
That displays
Wandring ways,
So as He that reves along
Knows not if He be right or wrong;
For i'th' eyes
Of the wise
This gay-checker'd Act declares
In Souldiers favour more then theirs.
Worlds wonder!
Publick plunder
Must be freed from restitution;
O rare chymicall Illusion!
This Act when it came first a landing
The peace it brought past understanding,
For though it promis'd Graces store
They shew'd no better then before:
At th' Senat-door then let us knock
And get a clavis to unlock
[Page]The wards of this rewarding gin,
To rinse our State-Original sin.
"Wise Oedipus unloose this knot,
"Are we made Heirs of Grace or not?

PARTHESIUS REGIUS, His DEDICATORY To all People BOND or FREE, Round or Sound wheres'ere they bee.

CHop-fallen Plaintiffs or Defendents;
Sectists, Separists, Independents,
Presbyterians that are whiter
Then Lawne-Sleeves or any Miter.
Crop-ear'd Zimri's, Sequestrators,
Statists, Truckers, Timists, Traitors.
Haxsters, Huxsters, or Promotors,
Farriers, Furriers, or Free-booters,
Broakers, Breakers, Brewers, Bakers,
Braggadoches, High-way-takers.
Sergeants, Catch-pools, or Regraters;
Cheats, Comittee-dis-estators:
Or Assemblies curst for ever
Make a Preacher of a Weaver.
All who headlong by their medling
Make our whimzed State a Bedlam.
Counting it lighter then a fether
To ruine Church and State together.
Trepenners, Pimps, Prinadoe's, Nippers,
Tarpaulins, Currers, Quakers, Dippers,
Whifflers, Shufflers, Heavers, Hectors,
Sharks, Excisers, Ale-Collectors.
[Page]Spanger, Spooner, Spurrier, Spinster,
And our Saintlings at Westminster.
With that Royall-loyall true sort
That of late did treat at Newport.
Et complere vatis Somnium,
CAESARI, uni instar omnium.



GOod-morrow to the Loyall Genius of pre­gnant Menippus; with my blessing to the weak remainder of his Sequestred Fortunes. Let me incounter thee with the Dialect of these daies: the Salute of these times; What Newes abroad?


Hah, hah, hah. What Newes, my noble Euphormion? why? thou shalt finde every corner full of them. New, new, new, every blind Alley eccho's withall.

New Fates, new Faiths, new Foes, new Faces, new Fashions, new Creeds, new Crimes: all things new, saving that old relique of Honesty, which will never be renewed.


Goe to Sirrah; such wormwood Lecturers as you, usually convert your Pens into Needles, your Paper into Nettles. But in good sober earnest, tell me what becomes of the Ca­pitoll?


The Senat of Saints, you mean. I will tell thee, Eu­phormion, there is not in that Saintly Sanctuary, so much as a Goose left for Centinell to guard that Antinomian Assembly. Their day-work is done, I can assure thee; for their Shop's shut [Page 2] up. Nay, some roguish hand or other, has distinguish'd it with rubrick Letters, and a Pest-house Posie, LORD HAVE MERCY UPON US.


It was so long infected, I ever thought, it would break out into Spots ere long.


Spots, Euphormion! Nay, Carbuncles on my consci­ence. The mad Parliament was a Sage Synod to this. Such a Self-hanging phrensie was never heard of.

The Devill never play'd his part with more active Subtilty: nor presented Pageant with more Artifice nor shrowded Policy since he was a Tempter.

For he has made fooles of them, whose aime and art it was to befoole the State.


But are They in such a desperate condition?


Yes, Sir, I can assure you; They are never likely here­after to transgresse out of the Line of Communication. They who could not all their time indure the Gregorian Letany, are very like, with a Gregorian line, to close their Tragedy: WHARTON has rightly casten up their Nativity.


Be they impeach't already?


They are; and this very day to receive their Judge­ment. The Crimes objected against them, are notorious and hainous. Pillaging, and plundring the State; obstructing Traf­fick; making Seats of Justice, Butchers Shambles.


Excellent Reformers!


Long and heavy Quarters, grievous Taxes, numerous Excizes: All these have drawn up a Bill of Arreares together; And the Bill is found: The whole Jury returne them guilty. Ha, ha, ha. Hemp, by all likelyhood, was never in more request, nor liker to be highlier honoured. I must tell thee Euphormion, low Necks and Collars, are not for these Nouzes.


As I live, this will be rare sport for By-standers. Me thinkes I see what wry mouthes these sleek Orators will make at their Confession!


Nay, at their Suspension! Never found more Funerals dryer eyes.


I am sure, they have made the State weep suffici­ently; But such rogury was ever likely to close with such a [Page 3] Catastrophe. But pray thee, Minippus, what Judges may we have to sit upon them?


A question that deserves resolving, trust me. All the world knowes, Euphormion; we have but two judiciall Consuls left us of all the old Covey; And the One is a meer Triviall nifter; as barren of Sense, as he is cram-fed with Substance. The Other, sometimes a Reverend Sage, had not this timing compliance made him an Asse, and fool'd his Judgement. His ominous Name boads, he must not die a natural Death.

I must tell thee, my Euphormion, though Justice ride on her foot-cloath, yet She goes on Stilts. There was never such an hal­ting Age since Vulcans time. She, who formerly stood like a Beacon to give others aime; is now become such a Dark-lan­thorne, it will scarcely afford it self light.


All this while, Menippus, thou resolves me not who these Judges be.


But I shall in good time, Euphormion: And first, give me leave to tell thee, that these, who are prickt out to sit upon these Corrupt Members; were no Sergeants of the last Call, for those wear a Parliamentary Coife; and for all their violet Livery on their shoulder, are very likely to be degraded of their honour. No; these be old Benchers, who have stuck close to their restrained Justinian all this while. That Levelling Democracy bandied them into a desperate hazard: Being sent away in such Shoals, as the whole Isle of Antycera could scarcely receive them. But by a writ of Revocation most of them were cal­led back from banishment; and begin already to out-strip those Party-colour'd Turn-coats both for Practice and Reverence. Now out of all those, be these three cull'd for this great Goal delivery; Argestes, Bonarges and Calazius. The first, a pert pregnant fel­low; One, who can take a Ball at the first rebound: being of a quick apprehension, and present dispatch. The Second, a rough, rigid, down-right Justice: One, whose hands and eares hold an­tipathy with price and prayer. The Third, of a more coole and remisse Spirit: yet prompt enough to denounce judgement, where he meetes with an incorrigible Delinquent. These be they that must doe the feat.

[Page 4] A shout within.

Away with them, away with them, They deserve not to live: They have been the ruine of us, and our Families.


What meanes this shout within?


Hah, hah, hah. They come, they come, they come, we shall hear rare sport presently. Enter Judges, Clark of the Assize, &c. at one door. En­ter Traitors, mannacled, by th' Marshall, and other offi­cers attended at the other door. See, see, see; those be the Judges of Oyer and Terminer: and these the Traitors, who ha­ving been upon their Trialls, found the only Canker-wormes of the Common-wealth; and such whose egregious abuses deserve exquisite punishments; are this very day to receive their Doomes.


Be there no more of this fry?


O yes, Euphormion! This very instant is Antipas im­peacht of High Treason by Venaticus: But he's to be try'd by a Councell of Warre. Both our Higher and Lower Hives swarm with them: but these were the Principall Instruments of crea­ting and fomenting all our mischiefes.


What may that Grand Senior be, who with his wall-eyes lookes like one of Machiavels familiars?


Who he, Euphormion! Why? That is Misarcus, a Protean Polititian; One who can present as many shapes to acquire his own ends, as any Cloud-walking Tiberius in the whole world. He can play the Fox, and make use of the poor Pusses foot to get himself the Chesnut. He has been in strong labour of Anarchial Plots this twenty years at least: and having now at last brought forth such usefull Principles of un-kinging; as Brutus and Cassius could not be of quicker dispatch, had his Agents been as secret as they were desperate. Hee's held the onely Sinon in all Albania. In a word, he breathes not that knowes better how to mint, mince nor shroud Treason then he does. All the rest are but Apprentices to him in that trade, the Velvet-Varlet can carry it so nimbly and neatly.


Who is he, that lookes for all the world, like the Promethean Satire; or some Antique piece of decayed Arras?


That is Montanus; a confident Agitator: but comes far short of the former. For this Fellow Acts but what the other Plots. He has indeed, been successefull in some underta­kings; [Page 5] which makes him infinitely arrogant: yet for all his suc­cesse, he has purchas'd himself no good Opinion; being in no lesse capacity of Censure for cowardize or remisnesse by his own Party; then He is by the other part of ingratitude and disloyalty, The man desir'd much to become popular; which in the end un­did him. Such Baites are dangerous for these frisking Fishes to nible at. His Father, that Physiognomist of Queen Besse, was another kind of Creature. He could have taught him the guize how to sculk in a distemper'd State; and to fish without excep­tion in troubled Waters. There is small question, but that he had once some weakling unsetled▪ thoughts to become Honest: But private interest begot such obstruction to his resolves; as those fair purposes were stifled in their infancy. So as, he held it his onely safe course to keep in Consort with those who accounted no part of Musick, comparable to Division. No Allegeance to arbitrary Obedience.


But what makes that Mellancholy Don so imbrim his face; and cast down such a forlorne and dejected a look?


Not without cause, Euphormion. That is the white-liver'd Clinius, who lately perform'd that fearlesse feverish Combat with Damaetas; and to divert danger, (though they fought at sufficient distance) made their equall retreats; the one to a Saw-pit, the other to a Marle-pit.


Is this the Man?


Yes, if thou please to call him so; but there is as little Man in him, as in any of all the Bunch.

Now to resolve thee, why his Look makes this setled contract with the Earth; Thou must know, he has been so basely baffled, jeer'd, and buffound in every quarter, as he consorts with no Society, where disgrace do's not meet him; telling Him, how his very Memory will be a lasting staine to his Fame: a dishonour to his Family. Doe not blame him then, for looking down­ward: Thou knowest well what the Poet sometimes so divine­ly sung;

God gave Men lookes to view the azure Skyes,
While Beasts look down with earth-dejected Eyes.

Yet in some points, I must tell thee withall, that there is no Valiant loyall Spirit within the whole Island that may compare [Page 6] with htm for some dangerous attempts: For he has the boldnesse to pocket more Treason, then would hang a Legion: yet with pro­tests of Honour and Reputation, incredibly salves it: and secures himselfe by it. But feeding on the better side oth' Bush, and for­tifying his weake Cause with strong complies (for he gloried in no­thing more then in the style of Machiavels son:) he never fea­red a change: nor to be brought to such a fearfull charge.


Who is he, that stalkes along with such a shaking pace?


That is Lentulus; one of the Lower Siedge; and could shake his tongue in his time: and blast the temper of a wel-composed State with the distemper of his breath. But I beleeve, his Rhetorick has left him, since this State-palsey seized on his tongue. I partly understand what the summe of his Petition might be; if his God-fathers would afford him an hearing: He has more then a moneths mind to be out of the Pallace yard: and to be no Inhabitant under the Line. For he holds nothing more condu­cing to his safety then distance: which he might have procur'd without flight, had he acquainted his Tongue with lesse speech, and more silence. But the Inds must not save him: though he has mined sufficiently for his time. The Moale is now to be unmolded. — O how happy a thing were it rather to be tongue-tide, then tide in a nooze; and for a little loose lip-labour, summe up his Daies worke in a Halter!


Who is he, who carries those Papers in his hand, as if he were Sollicitour Generall for the whole Synodall?


And so he is, I must tell thee: and for himselfe too: for he's very likely to lick oth' whip as any of them all. Shall I di­splay him to thee? This is Metaxus; a fellow of infinite con­fidence: and unto those that fall under his Test, of a dominee­ring insolence.

His first fame came to him by a Sea-case: since which time, he has incomparably thriven by a Land-case: having by his meanes and other Officials, brought the whole Land into that pitti­full case, as none can live well, unlesse they live ill like Land-sharks: who prey upon the Fry of the Gentry: and by their ir­remissive cruelty so soake them; as places of Hospitality become Nests for Owles: or Cages to Imprison Vindicators of their [Page 7] Countries Liberty and their owne Loyalty.

This same Advocate is a close youth, I must tell thee: One, who desires nothing more then to imposture a State with colou­rable and plausive pretences of sanctity: as if his Nature held such correspondence or Analogy with his Name; as the one could not hold up without the other. But watsoever he pre­tends, he is more Core then Cordiall, He might for a time gull private eyes with peculiar interests: and by laying his oylie hand on his hypocriticall heart, delude the easie Vulgar: But being now to act his part on the publique Stage; there were some (and those unconcerned spectators) who had not like those Lamiae, left their eyes at home in a boxe: but had the art to discover his posture: and how his Action suited with his Person.


Who may that Malevole be; who walkes like a de­bauch't Prostitute; that has stakt his honour for as much as it will give?


That, my brave Boy, is Hircanus; A Goatish Gamester, whose profuse lust seared with an assiduate heat, has caus'd him to sue forth a divorce betwixt him and his naturall Perriwigge. The Mounted Scale-drake has dropt all his fethers in his Cornelian Bath.

His mouth us'd formerly to be furr'd up with obsceane tales, and his passages of Brothelry: and herein (which may seeme a Para­dox) he did the least hurt. For since, he became a Member (and such a one as the Bordella's cannot shew a corrupter) he has ac­quainted his forlorne tongue with no other discourse but Trea­son. Now some there be (and such who are not altogether un­knowne to his crazy saplesse constitution) who stick not to avouch that he's infinitely weary of his life: and cares not much for being dispatcht out oth' way; for his dainty Duggs and Doxes hold him so inconsiderable and contemptible a creature, as they jeere him to his face: That he does well in hatching his egges in the House: for he can Sit better then he can Stand. Some there be that report, how he very lately had a desire to travaile as well as any of the Tribe: hoping by that meanes (having sent before Gold his Harbinger to store him for provision against Winter) to escape the lash. But this report admits no beliefe: for should He travaile by Land or Water, those that know him would wit­nesse [Page 8] with him, that he stood in more need of a Bone-setter then an Harbinger. So as, should he now chance to be hang'd (as there's small question to be made on't) he would quarter him­selfe: and like an over-ripe Medler, drop peece-meale from the Tree, long before the rest of his fellows.


It seemes, Menippus, these three you described last are in their quality inferiour to the former.


'Tis true, Euphormion; but though their Siedge be lower; it is generally held that their Sconces be no wayes infe­riour: Nor the revenues of their Places lesser; as their late Cen­tury lists fully discover. Those three indeed whom we display'd before; were drawn forth from the Higher Hive; these three last from the Lower. But this Lower has infinitely trenched upon the Priviledges of the Higher; and presumed to be as active too; for else had the coast been clearer, and the Storme calmer then now it is.


Clear the Barre there; and give way to the Prisoners.


Let us observe their processe of Judgement. — Ju­stice never till now (since the first foundation of this perennially-trienniated Synod) found any eyes to see with.


Content, content; we shall heare shortly, how abus'd honour must be adjudg'd to collar with an halter.


Call Misarchus, Montanus, and Clinius to th' Bar.


You know Misarchus, what an honourable (and in your respect, immerited Tryall) you have had by your Peeres: how you have been found guilty of High Treason. How active for your part, you have approv'd your selfe, in the speedy pur­suance of your cruellest designes: which, as they were with much disloyall subtilty hatched: so no lesse speedily to be acted, had they not been by the power of an Higher hand divested. Meane time, how little sensible were you of this shaken and shattred Kingdome? Your owne interest tooke up all your care: while our heart-sick State became desperate of cure.

Sir, The recollection of these must needs beget a remorce in you: with an earnest desire of your reconciliation to Him, whom you have so highly, and hainously offended. Which must be done [Page 9] seriously, and seasonably, lest the hand of death arrest you, which is now approaching near you, before your peace be made. Your abuse to Soveraignty; your violation of our Liberty; your disturbance of Unity; your indangering of our publique Safety: All which with joynt voice and vote have contested against you. These should reteine in you such a deepe impres­sion, that unlesse you be an enemy to your selfe, they must needs beget in you, both living, and dying, a sensible compassion.


I must confesse, my Lords, that humane policy had too strong a seizure o're my thoughts. I shall wish my fall may be a caveat to others, of falling upon the like designes; lest they be­come liable to the like unfortunate ends.


Your resolves are faire, Sir; may these close with as faire an evening.


For you Montanus; what could in reason move you to take up Armes against your Soveraigne? Was it desire of Change? What estate could you aspire to higher, or for your con­dition better then what you injoyed? Catiline had some reason to plead for Treason; because his profuse course had brought him to a shaken fortune. But you were no such man. Well; I shall not aggravate it. Let Death be the Guerdon of your Crime: Onely, let me tell you, your houres are few; employ them then onely for eternity.


My Lord, I thanke you: my aimes are fixt that way.


You are only left me, to speak to Clinius. Nor shall I need to present to you the horror of those actions for which you are to suffer, I am perswaded, you are no lesse consciencious in repenting for them, then you were conscious in committing of them. Onely let me advise you not to be more fearfull of death, then you may be hopefull of a future life; So you neglect not time, but make an usefull benefit of your just doome.


All my desires (my good Lord) shall be summ'd up in this; that by the Princes clemency, my censure of death may be so much sweetned, as it may be changed into banishment.


Sure so I thinke it might, Sir; our State needs little feare you; you were never yet held any dangerous Plotter: only [Page 10] a State-shadow, whose designes had their period in desires: but you could pocket Treason, and conceale it; nay, with protests of honour strive to salve it: being no lesse then if you had con­triv'd it. This renders you in that qualification, as your Crimes admit no lower punishment.


So! I see these younkers of the higher Siedge must be untruss'd.


No; Thou art deceiv'd Euphormion; they must be truss'd. — Let us observe the rest. These Grand Seniors presse here in clusters.


Clear the Bar there behind. — Call Lentulus, Metaxus, and Hercanus to th' Bar.


Now, Lentulus; you lately heard what heavy Charge was laid against you: and how by the joynt verdict of an unin­teressed Jury you were return'd guilty. Now then it behoves you, in this little space, nay pace of time, which must be afforded you, to take a serious Survey of all your actions and speeches. You could no lesse immodestly then indiscreetly taxe a Member of your House, of an unmannerly posture, for laying his sinnew-shrunk leg before him for his ease; saying, more reverence was due to that place. But what Answer gave this Member? Mr. Spea­ker, I could wish that you would begin as soone to sit upright in your Chaire, as I should do in rectifying this uncivile posture, as you call it. What I doe, is for mine owne ease: whereas you abuse your place for sinister ends. How inconscienciously you have pursued the States ruine for your owne ends! What a timing Prolocutor you have been to foment Sedition: and confine the Soveraignty of a just Prince, to the irregular sway and swinge of Faction! It was your hint to Propose: Others to Say the Proposition's good: and by strength of prepared Votes, or absence of opposing Voices, to seale whatsoever was propos'd or said. But see to what shame and dis­honour, a tongue tipt with the guilt of dishonest lucre may bring the Speaker! your fame and fortune perish in one Bottom. That gaine which you so much lov'd, must render rewards to those whom you most hate. While a poor Shroud, after an ignominious death, shall be only left you to shadow your shame.


Good my Lord, give me leave to speake.


No Sir, you have spoke too much: your Lips are be­come [Page 11] your Snares. No Poyson of Aspes more full of Venome, then a Tongue infected with the witchcraft of Sedition. —Jay­lor looke to your Prisoner.


How now Metaxus! what meane those Papers? your present condition stands in more need of a Manual of Prayers. Your State admits no dispute.

Bestow now your Sollicitancy for heaven. So long as you stu­died your Case, and pleaded the Commons Cause for removing publique aggrievances from our Realme; it got you repute: all which you have now lost by playing the foolish Faune, and soo­thing Sycophant to a corrupt State. —Withdraw the Prisoner.


I am ta'ne in my owne Gin: being therein lost, wherein I held my selfe most secure.


So—there will be worke enough for a Sollicitor in Limbo.


Draw nearer there to the Bar with Hircanus.


Trust me, He's near enough already. —Pox on his Rogueship; this Palliard smels ranker then any Welsh Goat. He that holds not this Tege for a Mortified Member; He has small skill in Chyrurgery.


I wonder much those Grave Judges use not their Po­mander!


They are the honester men, Euphormion, to prefer Justice before Sense.


For you, Hircanus; though last, not least, but worst of that Anarchicall Crue; I must tell you, that of all others, your inbred and indurate impudence had so glazed your forehead, and by the bladder of popular ayre blown you up to that height of shamelesse boldnesse, as you durst affront Majesty, cry downe Monarchy, spurne at Authority, and lay a gappe open to that irregular Track, wherein your selfe so long trode, of licentious liberty. Command was with you a word of too strict acception: Loose lives desire ever to be lawlesse. Riotous-awlesse minds give freest admittance to easie reines.


Yet do me right, my Lord, your Honour knowes how I have ever maintained, That if there were a necessity for us to have a King (with which Title my desires could never cordially close) my voice should passe for Him whom we already had, because we knew best how to trust Him.

[Page 12]

Go to, Sir; you meant by that particle Trust, to asperse distrust upon your Soveraigne. — No more; we will not rub too much upon your perfidious folly: Be it your care, if you intend your inward cure, to bestow your few houres (for many you must not have) in bemoaning your numerous crimes; Dangerous Sins exact Deep Sighs. By how much slower you were in paying Tribute to your Earthly Caesar; be so much speedier in rendring your last dues in these your last daies to your Heaven­ly Maker.

Enough, enough; — Two dayes onely are afforded you for your Preparation. The Third appointed for your Execution.


Roome for the Judges. — Make way there, for the Prisoners.

Roome and make way sound equall to the eare,
Yet in construction severall senses beare:
Giants and Pigmeys be of liker stature,
For th'first refers to Judge; the last to Traitour.
Though some there be, and who have Judges bin
Deserve a Slip for slipping from their King.
For Scarlet never looseth more his die
Then when a Traitor weares that livery.
Thus, Those who poor petitioners suspended
Find quick dispatch: So our petition's ended.
May corrupt Members who returne deniall
To mens just Suits, receive like TRAITORS TRIALL.

—Come lets away, let's away, Euphormion; when these come crowding to Charon's Boat; He'le verily think, that Hell's broke loose: and that these were some of those Pick-locks who broke the Gaole: but being got againe, are to be wasted over to their old Lodging.

‘Haeccine perfidia comitantia praemia—?’

THE PLAINTIFFE'S APPEALE. Argued Dialogue-wise Betwixt Master OSBORNE, and Master HUNTINGTON.

‘Regium est bona facere, & mala pati.’

HOw goes the squares, Master Huntingdon?


All out of square, M. Osborne. I hold nothing more dangerous then to accuse a great man of Treason.


'Tis no wonder; hast thou no fear of an approaching fury; in levelling thy shot at such a Conquering Leveller, as wins wheresoever he comes; and takes in wheresoever he Summons?


Who would ever have thought that he should come to such a formidable Greatnesse?


Who ever knew him since these brackish times, and could think that this cunning Porpuise could fish worse in such trou­bled waters? Trust me, Huntington, howsoever you stood con­ceipted, that his braine symboliz'd with his barmy profession; I observ'd him ever, to have Sage in his pate: And that his Head-piece (as one observ'd) would make an excellent Pipkin to boile Monarchy: and his Breast-piece a rare Drippin-pan to baste Presbytery. He knew well how to walk in a shade to his [Page 14] Foes: and in the Sun-shine to his Friends. This was Ju­gurths policy; which highly improv'd his Commands. Salust. Ma [...]rob. Plutarch. Montan. Besides, didst not observe how he advanced none to Commands, but such in whom he had a commanding interest? nay, & to oblige them the more, were knit to him by allyance or blood. And these no Shallops neither. For they knew well how to build upon his materialls; and to act the designes of absolute Instruments by his influence.


All this had redounded more to mine honour, if way, as Justice requir'd it, and due Allegeance enjoyn'd it, might be given to my Charge: which was so punctuall in every particular, as it could admit no exception.


Pray thee, Huntington, didst thou never read how the Capitol was ever shut, when Janus Temple was open? Art thou become so hood-winkt to the knowledge of these worst times, as not to observe, how Greatnesse is a subterfuge to Guiltinesse? How dangerous is it for Justice to plead her priviledge of Right, or enter into contest with a flesh'd Souldier with his Sword in his hand?


Souldiers who have their lives in their hands, should have grace in their hearts.


True, they should so; but these Martiall times can shew us no such Presidents. Successe makes a Souldier swell above the bounds of Justice.

After Pharsalia's Field, so fatall to Pompey, so successefull to Caesar; it was too hard a task for Cicero with all his Eloquence; or cunning Coelius with his Compliance; or censorious Cato with all his gravity and composednesse, to work upon Caesars thoughts any thing lesse then a Monarchicall influence. Either a Caesar or none; and that Caesar a King; and that King no King but Caesar.

Thou art to know Huntington, for else thou knowest nothing, how these airy Spirits, who hatch their high-flowne projects in the Eagles nest, never use to observe friendship, or court any favour out what may suite with their Ambition. He, who was but late­ly a Souldier of fortune, by his improvement from fat and nu­merous plunders, is now conceipted that his condition holds in a Sphear above the reach of fortune.


But pray thee, Osborne, can these, who are for the pre­sent, thus transported with this vading shadow of their preten­ded [Page 15] happinesse, grounded on pillage and rapine; and like a rotten Building supported only by the Bases of others ruine; can these, I say, be so miserably besotted with the opinion of their plundred greatnesse; as to imagine that this giddy-headed world will never come to her wits again?


What else, Huntington? So long as these Pious Rookes, or Magisteriall Mag-pies, deigne to bestow no better style on their Soveraigne, then a chief publick Officer of this Kingdome: Dost not think they are confident enough of their Cause; and that their Party is grown too strong to entertaine a change?


We shall then, no doubt, have a dainty Waxen State on't, when every blind Moale may cast himself in his own Mold; and kick Discipline with his heeles.


What may we expect lesse, when the Feet hold equipage with the Head! The divine Story sufficiently informes us; that when there was no King in Israel,Iudg. 17.10. every man did what he plea­sed.


It will be a great pleasure for an honest minded man to live under such a Government!


Honest men, Huntington! Those be rare Birds, and of a forraigne Airy. Were that wise Cynick now living, he would not bestow a farthing candle on his Dark-lanthorne, to spend it in the fruitlesse pursuit of that Inquest. No, no, Honesty now goes by Beards: He that can time it the best, deserves to enjoy his own, and his neighbours to boot. A rough-rigid Committee-man, who will not stick to impawne his Soul to improve the Publick, deserves the Grecian Tripod. This sage Decoy is superse­ded for all his transgressions from above: doe not mistake me, I mean from above Hell at Westminster.


They have a brave joviall time on't.


And so might we too, Huntington, had we been timely wise. What Mad-caps were we, to shoot our Shafts at the Moone? Could we in reason think, that our Gracious Senate would swinge their own Champions, Patrons, Associates, or Assassinates? Had we no Articles of Charge to preferre against State-malignants, but their own Assistants? We had surely, left our eyes at home with those Lamian witches, in running head­long into such a precipice; as to make fetters for our own feet by our Loyall service.

[Page 16]

For all this, I feare not but a time will come.


Yes; To suspend us for endeavouring to impeach their Protectors of High Treason.


Suspend us! How doest thou mean, Osborne, by our Estates?


No, Huntington, but by our Necks.


Sure they will not be so cruell.


O, thou mistakes it! "Mercy to the Wicked, is cruelty to the Innocent. It were tyranny to shew indulgency, or least spe­cificall impunity upon such as we two are, who have trenched so highly on their propriety.

I shall acquaint thee with a late passage of a virtuous sweetly demeaned Gentlewoman, daughter to Sir Peter Killigrave; who out of her pious zeal to His Sacred Majesty, with a deep sense of His unprincely usage during this His restraint; was plea­sed to write in Sea-coal, in a place not farre distant from New­port, onely these words, Hammon was hanged, and the Kings wrath was pacified. For which Sentence she stood in great danger to incurre a censure; had She not been saved by her Book, though by some held for Apocryphall Scripture. And being further pressed; that the Name used in Esther was Ammon; She wittily replied, that H was no Letter: So as by means of her wit so well authorized by Scripture, She came off clear from further censure.


I must confesse, there be more Hammons then Mor­decayes in that Island. But it was well for the Gentlewoman she came off so faire: For it is no playing with Lyons at the mouth of the Cave.


Yet observe but those wanton Cubs of their own Litter; and thou shalt see them without controul, sporting in others Inclosures far freer.

GRIFFITH, a Member of the House, ravish'd the Lady SHƲDLEY; and this was but a prank of youth; exempted from censure. MARTIN may play the frisking frolick Goat; and in the disguise of an Independent, though his jeering Doxes swear by all the indisposed haires of their Boults periwigge; that Hee's become an emasculated Dependent. So as, with a kick oth' breech they discard him; transmitting him [Page 17] to the Committee of Examinats for an usefull Agent in a troubled State; but none for them. This leprous Lecher, I say, may attempt any Ladies honour: and returne piping-hot from his Neapolitan Stove, and his Common Whoores, to the House of Commons; with an obscene mouth, venting nought but Treason: and this beastly Buffoun must be hugg'd for a Witty Traytour.


And whence all this;But if it be in the Armies power (as 'tis conceiv'd to be) to purge the Houses, as Hercules did those Augean Stables: the Parliament may thank themselves; Their power will be abridg'd, as well as the Kings. but because the KING's Power is weakned: which makes Him more sleighted, lesse feared?


'Tis true; yet there was a Precept which admitted no such restraint of Power: nor abate of feare. My Sonne, Prov. 24.21, 22. feare thou God and the King, and meddle not with them that are given to change: for their calamity shall rise suddenly, &c.


True; But These, who by their licentious living, rioting and surfeiting, (and all for the good of the Publick) put the Evil day farre from them, never dreame of any such calamity to rise suddenly, and fall upon them. Alas, poore Soules! (for I must pitty them, though I perish by them) they laugh like the Foole when He goes to the Stocks. Impiety cannot promise to it selfe long impunity; Nulla Salus, iniquo bello. Their Principles are deep-ingrain'd in bloud: Their Lawes in Draco' Lines; all Ru­bricks. That wise (but unfortunate) STRAFFORD, shew'd him­self an excellent Monitor, and probably, a true Diviner of their future condition. He told them of his feares, when He tooke his leave of earth: "Parliaments grounded in bloud, could promise "no good Successe. We have found it; and They must finde it. For when divine judgement is deferr'd, it inferres more to come. The whole State is sick; and heart-sick: for, how can the Body be at ease, when the Head fares so ill? Now, this Sick State be­ing sensible of her distemper, seeks about for a Physician: but un­happy is that sick Patient that is indangered more by his Physician, then his Disease. The Patient is the State: Infoeliciter ae­grotat, cui plu [...] est à Medico pe­riculi quàm à Morb [...]. and her Physician is the Senate. But small judgement (it seemes) had this Physician either of her water, or her pulse. For, her water is turn'd into bloud: and her pulse beats nothing but distemper. Members fight One with Another: and threaten Dissolution to the Whole.

[Page 18]

Their comfort is, their precipice cannot be steep: seeing the whole Island must be laid Levell.


Too certaine; These Civil Warres must leave such im­pressive Scars to Posterity; that though this terme of Levelling sound cheerfully in the Eare of debauch'd Haxters, and profuse Rioters; who look for a day when Debts must pay themselves: and Trades-mens Books make publick Bonefires: yet be there many plump fed Lobsters both in City and Countrey, will hold it a strange Catastrophe; when the very Dregs of the Land must squeeze their Vessels: and their hopefull Heires, for whom they tooke such infatigable care; become Sharers at best with these Levelling Sharks.


It will be, indeed, a strange World, my Masters! as that Corydon of Croydon said, When the Winfleet Oistresse must ride cheek by youle with the Lady Mayoresse in her Caroch: and with a gracious buxom bed, salute her Subjects as She yoggs a­long, with, a God save you my good People.


Thou doest well, Osborne, in making a merriment of thy Misery.


Doe well or ill, all's a matter. Warres grounded on Such Principles, could never fare better. He that holds himselfe safe, should he Sit at the Stearne, in a Disturbed State? Surely, He's as dangerously Distracted as any raving Soule that inhabits it. We were too well fed, to be no better taught. We injoy'd plenty; and our Surfeiting begot in us a Loathing: and our next descent, Scarcity. We desir'd infinitely to fight, though we knew not for what. Pretences and Shadows were faire inducements to ruine a Kingdome. "So sweet is War to those that know it not.

Three grave requisites are to be assisting of necessity to legiti­mate a Warre: viz. Supreme Authority. A Sound Cause. A just Intention: For Commanding it, for Undertaking it, for Execu­tion of it. But whether these just grounds were found in our Pa­lace yard at Westminster, or no? that's a materiall Quaere.

They may fob a deluded State, with telling. All is for the Pub­lick Good; meane time, Private Coffers be those vast Exchequers of the State.

The Jewish Corbona may not be compared to their Store-house. Meane time, our Commonty is meerly gull'd; They wonder [Page 19] how so many Sequestred States, insupportable Loanes and Levies in times of Free Quarter, should be imployed: and the Army remaine unsatisfied.


No man that has his braines about him will wonder at it: Those State-Saints, in the times of their feares,Make inquiry at the Leopard, the Unicorne, the Victory, the Marygold, the Ensurer, the Soveraigne, (wherein they desire no great share:) And some of these will acquaint you better, where these Gebezzais have banked their treasure. discovered sufficiently where both their Hearts and Treasures lay. The Par­liaments Golden Navy lanch'd forth in those daies for Holland, with other convenient Coasts; where their Wisdomes had set their Rest. Their Purveyors were sent before them; but since their panick feares vanished, they never to this houre overtooke them. Those, who were scarcely Savers at home, in the time of Peace; are now become Usurers abroad, in this time of Warre. Thus the English State becomes a Forraine Staple.


Meane time, what will become of us that can neither thrive at home, nor abroad?


We may thanke our loyall Service for it.


'Tis true; and thou art to be commended for't. I cannot compare thee more fitly, Huntington, then to One of those brave couragious Doggs that the Prince of Albany sent to Alexander the Great; who scorn'd to fasten on any Small or inferiour Beasts, as Fox, Badger, wild Goat, or Otter; but Lyons, Elephants, Pan­thers and Tygres. None but brave victorious OLIVER, that Universall Leveller; who makes but an Harvest worke of mowing downe both Wales and Scotland: where in his military Progresse (for Warre is but His recreation) He was entertained with more Debonaire Salutes, and Courtly Congies by that Achitophel-ARGYLE, then ever He vouchsafed to bestow on his Soveraigne all his time; None, I say, but this Northerne Terrour, this Calida­nian Conquerour, Welsh Warrier could serve thy turne to tugge with: while it was my unhappinesse to be snapt by a This stigma­tiz'd Traytour was since made G [...]vern: of the Isle of Wight, where He pra­ctises that blo [...]d: Designe against his So­ve [...]rigne Lord and Master. Wesel; a Soultry Souter; who alwaies had his ends: and liv'd by them. A rotten rebellious Runnegado, who left his Shoppe to salute the KING his Master with a Pistol Shot. A pilfring Night ranger, that had more Diseases then an Horse: A Fistula in his breech; an Imposthume in his breast; and an Apostacy in his heart.


Yea Osborne, but now Fistula dulce canit —.A Wild Barren braine for a Lord Chiefe Baron. Gaffar WILD, that Child-Chopper of the Chequer, has from certaine parcels of partiall-guilt Nonsense, cur'd Him of all Disea­ses, and made Him go streight.

[Page 20]

But never of the Kings Evill.


Thou meanst of the Evil he meant the King!


What else?


Pish! Osborne, thou dash'd the very heart of thy Cause out in the beginning: for though thy Plea were justifiable, thy Foe despicable, nay in the presence of Loyalty detestable: though (I say) thy Cause were as worthy, as his Case nasty, yet thou dark­nedst it so at the very first, as it could never promise better successe at the last.


How! darkned it?


Yes, I'le tell thee how: The first grounds of that Charge, thou laidst against Him were so soiled, sullied, and pur­fled with Saw-pit Sand, as when it came to be read, very few of either House could Discover the Character.


Thou art pleasant, Huntington; But had that Saw-pit Peere liv'd in Severus's time, He would have choack'd him with his owne Dust, for labouring to gravell such an Act of High Treason.


True; but what Act can make Him a Traytour, that acts nothing against the KING but as a Publique Officer? His Prerogative-Royall extinct, Treason loseth her name.— But now Osborne, Since like two tame Fooles, we are catch'd both in one Net; let it be no Eye-sore to thee, that my Foe should be a Conquerour, Parum refert an compedibus au­reis an ferreis perstringar, mo­dò detincar. Pausan. in Plut. thine a Cobler. It Skills not much whether my Fet­ters be of Gold or Iron, so long as I remaine in Prison. ‘But I heare, Osborne, how thy private Interest having failed in thy De­signe of freeing the KING, has lately forced thee (what will not the activest and clearest Spirits doe in cases of necessities) to make thy Addresses to the House.’


It were well argued by Those that Object these Addres­ses against me, if they could find where that Interest lay. It is well knowne to the whole world, I was free and at liberty to go whither I would, before I gave notice to the Houses of this trea­cherous Designe against His Majesty. Upon Discovery whereof (after such time as that White-liver'd Leveller had disburdened his Pocket of my Letter) most Men were of opinion that the Houses would hardly bestow any reward upon me for my Intel­ligence, at least, it hath not hitherto appeared. So that no other [Page 12] Addresse but the Publique Interest, wherein every loyall Subject is concerned, The Preservation of His Sacred Majesty, had influ­ence upon Me, to draw me to This: and upon this ground, God (I hope) will still assist me against Hammond, whom I count a silly weake Man in all actions, except Villany and Treason: and that branded Assacin Rolph: and all their Complices.


Thou doest well in that, Osborne; resolution must ei­ther make us Parliament-proof, or I know not what will become of us. Should we hang downe head like Bull-rushes, we should be presently accounted False-Accusers: Such as were ashamed of our Charge.


Which for my part, I shall never be: Truth is, that Re­verend Senate which pretends such Uprightnesse; may be asha­med to enjoyne us a peremptory Day to pursue our Charge: and now being ready to justifie our Plea; thus to trifle time, and poast us off with fruitlesse Delaies: Which presupposeth Some (and those no Rookes of a Low Perch neither) to be accessary to the Bill.


Blame them not then if they make it their Labour, to flip their necks out oth' Collar.— Now I professe to thee, Osborne, (for I am so perswaded) that those Senate Zimri's who have been hatching their Crocodile-eggs visibly these eight yeares; but invisibly Some Decads of Time; meane by some nimble tricks of Legerdemaine to have those hatefull Traytours, whom we have justly accused and impeached, clearly acquitted; and our selves who stand in Defence of our Plea, personally indited.


So, indeed, was that Wildmans Motion.


And were not this extreame justice, for us to be thrown into Prison, for our labouring by timely prevention, the preser­vation of the KING's Person?


Pish! What doest thou speak of Justice?

—Terras Astraearel quit.

Westminster-hall has shut gates of her long agoe. That Court of Wards Cushion, whose imbrodery profest it selfe an Attourney for the Widow and Fatherlesse, is worne to the botome. That Court cannot be more out of Request then the Cushion out of Date. Be­sides, that Dieu & Mon Droit, which was sometimes held a pro­per Posie for every Court of Justice, suffers with our Saints in all [Page 22] our Cathedrall and Parochiall Church-windows: being a French Posie, and held Superstitious, because it smels of the Countrey of Queene Mary.


Whereto then shall we appeale! To the Court of Con­science?


In no case; That was put downe with the High Commis­sion. Though in truth, it went out of the Court long before the Court went downe.—No; since we are shut from all Courts, let us flie into our selves: The Sanctuary of a Sincere Conscience; where we shall find a faithfull Advocate to plead our Inno­cence.



"Let Foes and Furies rage, a loyall brest
"May safely say, Come Soul, and take thy rest.

THE STATE-MONKY; OR, The DISLOYALL FAVORITE: From PARTHES De Gest: Arag: Originally extracted, with all propriety rendred, and to an Eminent Subject of these Times, personally applied.

In ipso Scelere, fructus Sceleris est.

NO Creature more odious then Man, when he be­gins to unman himself. No Member more dan­gerous to his Countrey, then a Court-fawne, or State-sharke. Such an One, has crept into the po­sture of Courting Sinne: and idolatrizing Sense. All his ayme is to prepare a Curtaine, to shroud his vice from Discovery. For in his too much heightned prostitu­tion, He becomes more jealous of the Groomes of the Privy-Chamber; then the All-seeing eyes of the Almighty. We shall need no other Pencil, then his owne loose life to draw his feature. He has by this time, set up his Court in another Orbe. Lust is too hot to nestle long in One Ciyme. And here suppose Him imba­thing and Sating his Swelling desires in those usurped imbraces of his Dalilah. Meane time, that distressed and wofully distracted State, from whence They came; and whereto They owe them­selves, suffers infinitely for their folly. Fields become Wastes; [Page 24] Cities, Wildernesses; Forts, demolished; Townes, dis-peopled; Herds, estranged from their Downes; Flocks, from their Folds; Feare at home, Fury abroad; Nuptialls made Funeralls; Cheer­full Brides, carefull Widowes; Old-men, Young-mens Execu­tors; and those who were nearest them in bloud, their Execu­tioners; Sons at enmity with their Fathers; Fathers their Sons betrayers; the reeking Sword raging in every corner; the thirsty ground opening her jawes to take in the forrage of every daies Slaughter. All this while, this Man of Sense, this Zanie of Plea­sure, braves it in the prohibited Delights of a Devested Prince: reteining not so much as the least Sentiment of his restrained CHIEFE; who improved his liberty: nor of that PERSONS honour: whose abused Greatnesse bestowes now a Vermillion blush on her too long eclipsed Majesty.

Reflect on thy condition, thou Sensuall Libertine! Is it pos­sible that any Creature indued with reason, should labour His ruine, from whom He received his extraction? Were not the Names of Artaces and Nabarzanes branded with lasting disho­nour, for practizing unworthily against their Founders?

Recall to mind those private Addressrs, betwixt thy Disloyall selfe, and that Perfidious Senate-house; and thou wilt confesse thy mercenary basenesse. A Scandall to the Bed of Honour: A pro­fest villaine to a just Master. Eye thine owne actions, and see what thou findst in them! Was not Ingratitude scrued up to a sufficient height, by being Sharer in that princely pleasure, wherein none was to reteine a property save the true Owner; and He thy Master: but thou must mould new Designes, to obstruct all meanes of his Assistance: lest his liberty might abridge this free­dome of thy injurious Dalliance? O imparalel'd impudence! An ambitious pursuit of Soveraignty (though Majesty seldome ad­mit Corrivals) is more Dispensable, then this continued Track of Sensuality, which abridgeth life by corrupt love: and effemi­nates Man by exposing his Divinest Faculties to the Service of Sense.

Nor shall that native ardour, nor sinnowy vigour, which for a Season sprinkles in thy bloud; and makes thee such a choice Ob­ject to so eminent a Mistresse; render the ever gratefull to such imbraces. There can be no Perpetuity in a Subject of Frailty: [Page 25] There can be no perpetuity in a Subject of frailty: much lesse in a Prospect of folly. Embleames may we see of this mutability, wheresoever we suffer our eyes to be Spectators. Now should thy Person incurre dis-esteeme, or an easie neglect through dis-abi­lity: or become wholly sleighted by a more active, and attractive favourite: what a strange Catastrophe would this produce in thee? With what folded Armes, melancholly Walks, pensive thoughts, and pitifull aie-mee's, wouldst thou ravell out the re­mainder of thy dayes: And so fool thee selfe in bethinking how miserably happy thou wer't in the fruition of thy former fancy: and consequently, how unhappy, by being insensible of those mise­ries which thy impoysoned affection had brought on thee? What imperfection attends that Solace, which is ever accompanied with repentance! And such are thine, unhappy man, whose in­satiate appetite admits no mean. What is a Moment to Eternity? Hear the advise of a Sage Professant: If thou wilt needes open thy bosome to love; fix it on such an Object of Fancy; as thou mayst have in it a just propriety. Stolne waters may seeme sweet to the Sense; but they taste bitter to the Soul. Thy own Cisterne will af­ford the sweetest and purest.

To divert then from thee, this opinion of being a German wonder, nay, a Monster in deluding thy Master; and in betraying thy Country, a Viper: arise from those sheets of shame: Cure thy distemper by a timely absence from thy Mistresse. Sloath and delicacy is the onely effeminator of Man: and fomenter of Sin. The Poet confirmes it:

Want of imployment makes the wisest erre,
Sloath caus'd Aegistus play th' Adulterer.

These present Civill Wars invite thee; Thy Princes safety in­joynes thee; The redemption of thine Honour calls upon thee. Though Reputation be not so easily gain'd as lost: yet so gracefull be those Returnes which remorce of Conscience makes: as they beget in us a pious pitty, and religious joy, wheresoever we finde these evidences of an unexpected, but unfeigned Conver­sion.

PEMBROOKS PLEA: OR, A just Vindication of his HONOUR, from all those injurious Aspersions, AND Abusive INVECTIVES of these TIMES.

Non facilis est venia, prava dixisse de rectis.

IT cannot be without wonder, that this Age so much distempered with Civill Factions; should be taken up with such prejudicacy, as to retaine no candid, nor clear thoughts for Personages of Ho­nour. Such especially, whose actions, were they summ'd up from their first infancy and initiation in the Court; or Affaires of State: cannot merit any rigid or Cri­tick Censure, as might justly lay either upon themselves, or those Families from whence they were Anciently derived, in reality the least dishonour.

This cannot in any one be more personally, nor presentially in­stanced then in our Chancellour of Oxford, the Earle of Pembrook. Against whom, some virulent-traducing Pens, to disgorge their exuberance of wit or Surquedry rather, have used such abusive liberty; as their vindication of those expulsed Members of Col­ledges within that Ʋniversity; cannot do lesse then bring along with it an errour of judgement in all those who made choice of [Page 28] Him, for their Chancellour, whom his Speeches, Actions, or palpable Ignorance, as is pretended; have rendred so odious, or incapable of such Academick Honour. Why was not this foreseene, and timely prevented, before He came to be elected? Did He walk more in the Clouds then now? or did He discover more hopes of protecting, or improving the Priviledges of that famous Seminary then now appeares? No; it was neither his neglect of These; nor his dis-regard of Those, whom in point of Honour He was to protect: No; nor his pretended ignorance, but ready complyance with those late-domineering Visitants, that begot Him distaste. Admit all this; resolve me candidly what might probably be done in this Case to salve his honour: and re­teine the affection of those Houses, who by Ordinance of Parlia­ment were to become subject to the Sentence and Censure of those Visitants? Should He have opposed the proceedings of these Visitants? No; for so should He have opposed the two Houses of Parliament: and for his Opposition purchased to him­selfe a Deposition.

But He should have allayed the fury and violence in their forme of Proceeding! No doubt he did; using by way of per­swasion the best meanes He could to attemper and sweeten the tartnesse of their Censure: that Stoicall roughnesse of their be­haviour. For had He done otherwise; as by publique reproof, or authorized Severity, admonished them to look to their Prin­ciples: and not to transgresse those bounds which a Superiour Command had prescribed them; His honour had runne himselfe upon the same Rock. For those Ʋniversity Visitants were no such Moderate Men, nor Meeke Spirits, as to admit of reproof. They knew well their own strength: whom to appeal to; and from whom to receive speedy redresse; upon the very least com­plaint exhibited: or affront pretended.

Yet all this cannot cleare Him (you will say;) It had been the Duty of an honest and integrious Chancellour, in discharge of the trust conferred on Him, and recommended to Him; to in­counter all extreames rather then to suffer any pretensive or De­putative Power to incroach upon the ancient Statutes, Lawes and Liberties of the Ʋniversity; whose Patriot, Patron and Protector He had profest himselfe to be. But what would all this have ad­vantaged [Page 29] the Cause! This might, indeed, have prepar'd way for an Other to Succeed him: but not to redresse those wrongs done to the Place committed to him. Yet, will Some alledge, his Ho­nour was highly conscious of one Erour; which, no doubt, He might seasonably have diverted; by interposing himselfe by way of authoriy, for the indempnity of such Schollers, whose knowne abilities, sweet and Docile natures merited not onely approve­ment, but advancement in the opinion of Honour: and whose rising hopes might have presented them Singular Ornaments to so absolute a Mother. It is answered; that his unquestioned desires applied them seriously though not so effectually that way, as He did wish. For such Severe Censors were those Visitours; as nei­ther able parts nor affable natures could have any influence upon them. If they appear'd not pliable to their bent, sutable with their straine; They might necessarily incurre Censure. The walls of the Ʋniversity were of too strait a Circumference to confine them.

Thus you see how groundlesse aspersions have beene throwne upon his Honour without Cause; being desirous with his most studious endeavours to pursue, what His Countermanded Power could not effect.

Shall we now peruse Him as He was Courtier, or imployed in affaires of State? It was sometimes observ'd by a Wise and ex­perienc'd Historian; that there were three Objects, of all Others, most fatally dangerous to a qualified Courtier. Ambition; Ava­rice; and Recede from imployment. Let us examine these in Him.

Ambitious He was never; for his desires were ever impaled within the freedome of their owne just limits. His highest Am­bition was how to preferre the just Suite of an injuried Petiti­oner, and to expedite it without Charge to the Preferrer. To be eminent in the eye of a Prince; and make use of his royall favour in so pious an Office is a glorious Ambition. Besides, he was ne­ver observ'd to carry a Supercilious Look: nor reteine a Diffi­culty of accesse. Bearing a cheerfull pleasant aspect to all Com­mers and Suiters, without an imperious Dis-relishing frowne; which was such a Stranger to his Countenance; as there was nothing He held at more distance.

[Page 30]For Avarice; there is none that truly knows Him, but will witnesse for Him, that it was never in request with Him; nor admitted to take acquaintance of Him.

He was never mercenary in the amplest favours He shew'd to any. So as, though there have been ever many both Justiciaries and Courtiers who might be aptly resembled to the Celidonie Stone, that loseth it's virtue and vigour, when it ceaseth to be touch't with Gold; His Honor was not of that humour. Wealth was one of his lowest and contemtiblest Objects. His Revenues, indeed, were great; which might have stored his coffers with an affluence of treasure: but his desires were never confined to those ends. His bounty every where returned Him this testimony.

For Recede from imployment; it was a thing, which of all other, He most hated. He was, you will say, a Man of pleasure. He was, indeed, much addicted to Exercise and Recreation; wherein He would usually be very Sociably merry. Some slight perfunctory Passion might, perchance, sometimes overtake Him; but it was quickly overcome by Him. In all these Recreations and Delights, a pleasing familiarity accompanied Him; which in all Places procured him loue: Being nothing like Some of our Surly Lords; who hold familiarity in such contempt; as they become contemptible to their familiars.

Some infirmities, I must confesse, He has; as every One has Some: and He the best who is Subject to the least. And of These He repents Him. Neither is He at any time incensed at Such as friendly admonish Him of them: but with all affability thank them. Habits, indeed, in Vice, are sooner got then forgone. But his desire to be reclaim'd from them, argues his hate to them: with his resolution wholy to decline them.

His small acquaintance and familiarity with Books, should not muster Such Invectives against his Person: though Learning be the exquisitest beauty, that can imbellish Honour; yet it directs not alwaies a line to that Centre. There be more Havens to arrive at then Corynth. To be a Protector of Learning, though no Professor, is praise-worthy in Honour.

Now, to conclude this Apology; whereas, much might be here Objected against Him touching his Compliance with these times; what that Great Favourite spake somtimes to ingenious Pibrack; [Page 31] may be return'd in his behalfe: Honours and Revenues be strong pullies to frailty.

But I am confident, his Honour reteines in Him thoughts of Loyalty: and will be ready to manifest them to the world with all reality.

You then, who usually walk in Shades of Worm-wood, cease from dipping your Pens in the least tincture of Gall, that may any way tend to the impeachment of Honour. There be other Subjects fitter for Loyally-affected Subjects. Let your Pens be so employed, that Goodnesse may be rather incouraged; then the least hopes of proficiency in actions of Honour retarded.

For his Secretary Michael Olds worth, Esquire, (so nearly sym­bolizing both in name and nature with that Eminent confined Divine) as His abilites are well known: so is his integrity no lesse approv'd.

He shoots shafts at the Moon, (as one no lesse worthily then Morally observeth) who out of a Malignant humour, makes it his labour to darken the splendour of Goodnesse and Honour.


A POTION FOR BRITANICƲS: WITH A Cordiall powder for the Stationary Eve-dropper; that Sir Reverence Rabby LUKE HARRUNEY.

A tergo Nemesis.

HO! you sirra Brutish Britannicus.—You nitty-nasty Law-louse; the Anagram of a good face—. Pray thee, Sir GREGORY NON-SENSE, marke what a nooze thou hast woven for thy selfe! If thy traduc'd Mercurius play not Ti­taeus part, and make thee hang thy selfe by his tart, but true discovery of thee, I shall conclude thou hast fooles fortune: and that want of understanding kept thee from hanging. For I shall no sooner have dissected thy Carrian quality, then thou wilt wish with all thy heart (la) that thou wer't transform'd by Medusa's black rod, into one of those Insecta that thou brainlesly talk'd of.

Now to thy Anatomy Lecture; which for meer pitty sake, I I shall doe with favour; lest (thou Prodigy of Loyalty and Na­ture) [Page 34] thy display should make thee a Spectacle of too much hor­rour to any modest Reader. First then, (thou cheeck-aside Groat) shall I touch thy face? O no! It looks like a Noli me tangere. Thy party par pale will not endure the touch. Besides that, St. Antonies Fyre (my squeaking Ginny Pigge) which holds such affinity with thy crazy physnomy, proclaimes to the whole world, that some Incubus or other makes thy mummitiz'd body their nightly Hackney.—How bravely my Dydapper fluttered in Cornelius Tub! from whence, after some small vent or respiration, thou presented thy Adamite head like a Moulted Skale-drake, without so much as one hair of a naturall Perrywig. And well, thou scap'd so; for the sacrifice of a tuft of Goatish haire, or of a decayed Calfe, were unsatisfactory Gages for discharge of the Mounte-bankes Bill. Thus, my Neapolitan Nit, having with much bathing, cupping and chasing recovered thy desperately-infected Body from the Clawes of the Grinchams: and after all this, procured a speedy cure of the Snap thou hadst got over shins with a French Faggot: thou seconded thy recovery with an honest re­solution, if thou hadst so much grace as to hold it; that thou wouldst never (for, burn't Child fire dreads) from that time for­ward indanger falling into any such Venetian Purgatories.— But

The Devill fell sick, the Devill a Fryer would be,
The Devill grew well, the Devill a Fryer was he.

But now, my illiterate Criket, I will break off from any fur­ther discovery of those broad-spreading Maladies of thy Malig­nant body (being the true Embleame of a Raddish for its frailty:) and take a little pains in display of those exuberant distempers of thy minde.

In the first place then, give me leave to become thy Remembran­cer: for it is much to be feared (if thou wer't a thing worthy either our fear, or our care) that thou art fallen into Corvinus Messalahs disease; having either forgot, or else wholly lost thy good name.

Tell me then, my surly grumbling Don, doest not remember how thy Father, though he had small hopes of thee, and as weak promises of proficiency from that Pedant who taught thee; ad­ventur'd to send thee to the University, purposely to enable [Page 35] thee, if there were any vertue, or qualifide ability extant in thee: but how quickly, and that deservingly fell thy Freshmanship un­der the hand of a rigid Censure: being for thy boyish misde­meanures publickly whipt; in the School for thy ridiculous Ar­guments shamefully hist; in thy owne Colledge unsociably jeer'd: and by generall vote and voice for thy loosenesse of living, and incapacity to learning, excluded the University with­out mercy? But thy Ignorance hath cloath'd it selfe with such an incorrigible insolence; as thou scorn'd to follow the example of the humble Prodigall. Ask forgivenesse for thy forepast follies! No; my ranting Ratoune; Thou hadst such bad successe by Land, as thou meant'st to make one Adventure by Sea; and to bring thy Marchandize from a farre.

A Wife is compared to a Ship; but in these Notions different: She is neither to have many Owners; seeing onely one is to have in her a propriety: neither to ruffle it with her Top and Top-gal­lant; lest she should negotiate with folly, by entertaining those dresses of vanity; nor lay her broad-side open to all encoun­ters; neither admit Master-mates; nor partake with sharers. For this end, my dear Don, thou adventurously lanched, and at last prosperously arrived, for want of a better Harbour, at Cuckolds Haven; where ever since, like a sullen Sourell, thou hast beene shaking thy Velvet Head; but hopest in time to put forth: and brandish thy brow-antlers amongst the El­ders.

But we will leave thee with thy Britannica; intended at first for the Meridian of Duresme, but may serve indifferently, upon any intervening opportunity for all Great Brittany.

But see and wonder! This peeking-Popingay-Puppy has by this time got an infinite itch (to sympathize with his in-laid, and skin-laid Erysipelis) to be seen in Print. He must foole it in folio; there's no remedy. In such miserable follies doe these madding times insnare these Wittall Widgeons. But he must use the weak wings of his Coy-ducke to mount with: otherwise, his short Icarian flight must be soone at an end. And who may this be? A Cum­rade, or fellow-Journeyman of his; one for his wit of the same Last and Size. A base Bell-buzard, who will seaze on any prey for his advantage: and, indeed, a late baffled bonby, who, take [Page 36] my word for't, for his practise will neither doe Law nor Learning hurt, unlesse it be to eat up their Commons. But this Ingle must be his Instrument to put his best helping hand to this weekly Sheet worke: or Mounseur Clot-braine must suffer his webbe to faile in the Loomes. Suppose them then jogging and justling their equal­ly-poiz'd nodles together: and like two adle Egges thrown out of one nest, sent abroad to beget a noysome steame in the nostrils of any sensible Reader; breathing out this, in their Peripatetick Garden-walke, for a setled Conclusion: That Brittannicus, who either out of his ambition, or his Cumra les discretion, to free his hide from a lash, was to take upon him the Title of an Author, and should play the Mercurist: though neither He, nor his Assistant knew the Gender of Mercurius. And this Puny-Puppy must take upon him to oppose all those honest Mercurii, who wrote in their love to loyalty, for the honour of their Country.

Meane time, this egregious Dottrell dips his Goose-quill in such poysonous gall as might (for so his lean-lying Genius meant) turn the colour of zeal: and by his Paradoxes in defence of Rebel­lion, repaire that maine breach of his irreparably decayed Brea­ches. O Democritus, resolve thee selfe to laughter: for thou hadst never a rarer Subject to tickle thy spleane: nor such a Brain­trap in all thine Isle of Guls to sport with!

It was not sufficient for this Rebellious Rascall, this sordid sul­try Sutler to soile pure paper with impertinences and Tap-house Stories purchased at the Expence of a double Jugge at the utmost; but he must vilifie their Persons, whom he dare not look on; hoping to be so superceded by his Britannick Anonymus, as his unknowne Name may give him liberty (under Mabbots priviledge) to impeach any mans Name, and make it as infamous as his own.

Nor is it his onely Profession to asperse dishonour on those, who in the Opinion of best men, are held approved: but, by playing the base Sycophant, to magnifie those, whose Names are odious to the Eares of all good men: nay, whose Memories shall rot, and to perpetuate their shame, leave stamps of ignominy to their hopelesse Families, for Cautions to Posterity.

Let but Britannicus purchase a paire of uninterested Spectacles, if he may reserve so much from his Commons, and peruse his [Page 37] Catalogue of purple Magisteriall Bench-whistlers; those reverend Scarlet Grand Guls: who never remember to whom they are sworne: nor to whom they are by allegeance to adhere: nor whose Persons they represent in their dispensation of judgment. O brave Sages! Politick Sconces! Deserve not these to be recor­ded? yes, sure; but in the Black Book, where all State-Zimry's must be canonized. Meane time, what Hyperbolees must these soyles of honour and Staines to Justice have bestowed on them; to make the face of TREASON look with the clearer Count'­nance?

For to descend to thy Criticall Catalogue: (for I protest, thou deservest well to be pillored by the Parliament Party, for abusing those State-shadowes: and bestowing on their immeriting persons, such undeserving praises:) So as instead of the Clawing Syco­phant, thou actest the part of a Saucy Critick; in praising those whom all the world condemns: and for those pretended virtues, which their tainted breasts never harbour'd. For that praise falls into dispraise, where either the Praiser wants judgement: or the Party praised wants merit. Neither is it lesse Criticisme, to praise where either the Object or Subject admits no praise.

Thus with a palpable cheating Ignorance, thou committest a double Offence: First, in deluding these Authenticall Trans­gressors: in making them believe (if thy flattery could make them so credulous, or confidently opinionate, as to hug their folly) that all this long track of disloyalty, wherein they have so assiduately stalked and trampled on the face of honour, was a path of pub­lique conveniency; leading to the safety, security, and liberty of the Subject: and no disturbance to a civill peace; their Principles tending to no other end, nor their Designes aiming at any other Object, then Reformation of Church by introducing a Presbyte­rian Government: and redresse of abuses coincident to the State, by coercion of Their power, who might otherwise extend Their power by a Priviledge of Soveraignty, and convert their Commands into a Tyranny.

This (my poore Rooke) were a plausive palliating way, if thy shallow braines could either presse it: or integrity of judgment prove it. But least one wedge drive out another, I must have a touch (my paltry Parasite) at thy next error: Wherein thou [Page 38] desirest (but shallow-grounded desires ever produce groundlesse effects) to delude the People: whose judgments, were they as purblind as thine owne, thou wouldst make them believe, that whatsoever that Perenniall Consistory of State has already orde­red or shall hereafter order, conduceth principally to Their im­provement; and the Kingdomes honour: That there is no error, nor any Symptom of a corrupt Member, in that grave and gra­cious Senat-house. No Ordure (He would say Order) in that High and magnificent Praetorian of Honour.

What a Pithy-asse would this Oratour prove, if the ground were sound, he walkt on! But such a Dampe steames from be­low, as it argues, some hollownesse within. There will appear Kna­very in this Saintly Consistory, or the World's cozened. All is not gold that glisters, The mettall of this Massy Capitol resembles th' Amalga; it has more Moone then Sun in it.

But now to those Reverend Patriots, which thy bleer'd eyes have summon'd up, and so highly mounted. "The ravenous Put­tock pursues the Parliament Kite. Pleasure more sutable for an Hagler then a generous Falconer.

Now for the first, He derives his title from Kent. "A man, whose faith and uprightnesse is many degrees above all that reproach which the foulest of mouths can lay upon him.

Shew me, thou nasty excrementall Ibis, what Bird, or in what Ayry, that is more likely to blast the fame of any good man, then thy foule Mouth; Wherein impudence and ignorance hold such predominance; as no modest eare capable of Sense, can chuse to doe lesse then glow to heare humanity so much abus'd, by ma­king it selfe a Zanie to every Society: an Object of contempt to all cleare judgments.

The Morallist can tell thee (thou Scarabee to honour) that ver­tues become vices and change 'their nature, when from a vicious tongue they receive their lustre.

Trust me, Sneeking Rat, I should account it more praise-wor­thy, to be held thy profest foe then thy friend: and glory more in thy dis-esteeme then thy praise: for thy want of judgment would make me jealous of my selfe, for some maine defect, if I should receive approvement from thy pen. So as, this Kentish Peere were but little beholden to thee, if any vertue be extant in [Page 39] him: seeing thy blanched praises rather impeach then improve him.

For thy Second Patriot or Conscript Statist; He is an Antiqua­ry; One, who were he as Loyall as Learned, might be more deser­vingly reputed. But I wish He heard thee, how thy phrentick pen commends him. "A man not to be named without a religious kinde of horrour, and secret veneration. What meanes this religious hor­rour, thou injurious Tetter? Sure, there is either an error in the propriety of the Authour, or escape from the Printer. For I appeale to the Person concerned in thy frivolous discourse, if in all His Readings through the whole Course of his Antiquities, He ever read such a pitifull phraze.

Thirdly, for thy English Brutus; thoustyles Him more pro­perly then thou thought of: For whosoever knowes Colonel Henry Martin, will conclude, that hee'd not stick to act Brutus part, if he had but opportunity to stab Caesar in the Capitol.

As for Master Speaker, being (as he is rendred) A Gentleman of admired constancy and faith to the State, and who to the infinite pre­judice of his health (but allegiance will prescribe him a cordiall) hath stood constantly to his duty, and will leave a better memory be­hind him then any of his Accusers.

I must tell thee in the first place, that Comparisons are odious; there may chance to be an Accuser, who upon equall termes may cope with your Speaker. Meane time, many of those who know him are verily perswaded, that he would with all his heart lose all those vast summes which he has purchas'd with his Tongue, upon condition he might have no occasion to make Buttons with his T.

For Mr. Sollicitour, whose very name attests him a Saintly Pro­fessour; "He is a person of too much worth and honour to be tainted by a slander. Yet I must tell you, Sirra Snap, for all his integri­ous candour, Sir John Stowell did not stick to lay more to his charge, then his untainted fidelity could well answer.

For Mr. Justice Rolls, "A man of endowments, excellent, and not the least, for his parentage, contemptible; (observe the con­temptible propriety of this phrase) One whom the violentest ma­lice durst never yet attach, till the madnesse of this pen (dipped in gall and poyson) did first attempt it.

[Page 40]Would not this Tucca prove a daring Champion in defence of tainted honour! Well, Sirra; if thy practice faile, (as I am perswaded thou wilt never be guilty of much) I'le tell thee how thou shalt improve thy valour, and with sordid vailes minister fresh fuell to thy braving humour; Turne Boult or desperate Haxter; thou needst not want for Inmates; thy Coy duck will furnish thy Covy. But tell me, my Gue, whence i'st, that thou shouldst have such confidence, in a distemper'd braine, to main­taine these attesting Assacinates, these timing Assertors of disloy­alty! Had thine empty Sconce been gifted like that acute Eras­mus, Gaudanus, Cornel. Agrippa, ingenious Rhesnerus, or spritely Co [...]radus, or that no lesse present then pregnant Perottus, then thou mightest with more assurance have writ as they did: Para­doxes of different Subjects: and transcendents to inferiour judg­ments. Tasks more witty then necessary; addressed to the Praise of Folly; Vanity of Knowledge; Bravery of Beggery; Beauty of Deformity: Or what might more properly and experimentally Suite with thy fancy, BRITANNICUS; Pasquills in Praise of the French Poxe; in Honour of a Cuckold: and the commodious Society of a Louse.

Neither was this Subject which thy cloddy braine undertook, of lesse difficulty, if thy Scribling pen could have perform'd it as artfully.

Traiters are strange Subjects for Encomiasticks: Thou mightest have come off farre better, (though such a Task, I confesse, could not have redounded much to thine honour) in praising thee selfe, as Apuleius did his Asse. But I smell thy meaning why thou re­served a Skirt of thy sheet to wrappe up the praises of these Rab­shakaths in. It is thy ayme, if ever thou creep into practise (as there's very small hope on't) by this poore sneeking insinuating way, to make these Reverend Benchers so much thy friends, as thou maist by their countenance, procure audience and attention to thy Mariot-motion: and so by the present helpe of a ten groats Fee Satis [...]e thy Ma [...]-worme: having told thy Tale, got bread and cheese, and come thy way.

But I will spend no more time in probing these impostumous ulcers. Bray the foole in a morter, he will never be wiser. What a folly were it then to contest, with such a madding Antago­nist!

[Page 41]
Since he who has to deale with durty foes,
He must be foil'd, whether he win or lose.

Onely, out of the pitty I beare thee, let me advise thee, to di­vorce thee from this foolish Title of BRITANNICUS; it be­fooles thee above measure, and makes thee as ridiculous, as that Shrewsbury Weaver, who familiarly spoke Non-sense to his Shutle.

Fawnes thy Stationer, holding such firme relation to Allegi­ance, has vow'd, never to bestow more charge on thy Scribling, to the value of one reame of paper: And for that ugly speckled Bird, Partridge, He hath freely protested, that he would not be at the charge of publishing it, but for the hate he beares to some particular persons, who invey against it.

So as, these Pattent-Papers of thine (for we know well how thou holds in fee of that Saintly Synod) may sleep peaceably with Mayes, and Spungy Sprigs mouldy Chronicles (such spurious sprigs varnish our bloomy May) to the Generall Resurrection: whilst that welsh Stationer of the Rose & Crown finds just cause to complaine with that Pasquill in Castalion. Eheu! Multi dum libros typis mandare volunt; Typographi liberos mendicare cogunt. But his Zeal supercedes his want of Sale. Leave off then betime, lest one Royallist or other to thine utter dishonour bastinado thee out of thine humour.

Thus from Minerva's Hall to Laverna's Kitching
I leave thee falling, where thou scap't a switching
For having after Print so mad an itching.

For I must tell thee, thy sinister mischievous pen oft-times be­gets a Foe where it intends a Friend.

Thy ominous friendly figure-caster, languishing Lilly, whose approaching ruine, (maugre all his Divination) makes him looke like a Russeting, being now out of all hope to be sav'd by his Book; holds himself much agriev'd to be charg'd with a Wench, by his dear BRITANNICUS. This makes him bellow from his Astronomicall Cave.—Et tu Brute!— Go to then; leave betime, lest thou lick o'th' whip. Pin thy self up in thy Spider­woven Study: and if thou finde so much capacity left thee, as to aspire to the Desk of a Puny Clark; apply thy weak pericra­nium that way: for to use thy owne phrase, thy radicall humour [Page 42] for Minerva is wholly exhausted in thee. Thou art as feere as a Skeleton. How durst thou then so impudently tax our late MERCURIUS, whose known abilities are not to be measured by thy Last, for inventing Theames; when they were reall Speeches: and transcribed by so sincere an Amanuensis, as his approved esteeme is spheared above all exception? But me thinkes, in re­peating this word Theame, thou shouldst remember how Master Birch serv'd thee for playing the Truant, and pilfring thy Theame out of Apthonius: an Author too pretious to be abused by such a brutish Britannicus.

Thou censurest him too, like a bold Bayard, For rambling in Poetry, and making an huge-sort of Verses in the Baeotick dialect; which are in English to perswade the swarmes of Sirra Blew­botle, Bully Blewcap will go neare to turne your Roundisme into true Blew. Blue-caps to ad­vance hither once more, to perfect those rudiments of civility which they once got in England. But such squeaking oratory as his (saies this State-puppy) is not likely to perswade those eares, who are not guided with any thing so much, as the reall appearances of a groat a day and flesh.—Fury and folly mad thee! Has not thy mis-guided Ge­nius deluded thee? Is not Referring to the Scotch last incursion: a designe pursued with more hope then successe. Calidony become a Cavalry; mar­ching along bravely with their High Generall Hamilton; Lieute­nant Generall Calendar; Major Generall Lenrick for the Foot: with sundry other brave Scotch Commanders, and numerous Forces furnished with all Ammunition, and But you will say, those for­midable Forces are dispers'd! its true; but their dillo all Dukes feigned restraint, has given fresh Summons to the Scots for a fearfull recruit: having already resolv'd (with the joynt vote and voice of their KIRKE) either to redeeme their indanger'd fame, and revenge the Sale and Slavery used to their Subjects: or to sacrifie their dearest lives in the Quarrell. LANCA­SHIRE, Returne a just Accompt of those Blew bonnet Slaves you have sold: with your severall Rates, Prices and Receipts at that Mart: for it will be expected at your hands. That Anarchiall Councell of Warre may Vote downe Monarchy: and impose a period to a specifi­call Charles, but never to a Successive King; A life cannot contract a line: Nor can a Prince unjustly suffer without revenge from his lineall Successour. Warlike Provision already joyned with Generall Langdale? Be not our best defen­sive Forts Northward, with men, mony and munition sufficiently fortified? Be not their Forces dayly increased? Has not the Navy lately declared how Allegeance must be the Card that steers their Course? Is not the City turn'd Retrograde? Nay, what is more then a nine nights wonder; is not their Meaning Mayor Warner, that magisteriall Monster. Mayor become both Wise and Loyall against his will?

[Page 43]But thou saiest, Thou wilt deliver us up to the justice and fury of the Kites (the Parliamenteeres thou meanst) if we continue thus to speak Truth! Base bug-bear, suggest these affrights to those that fear thee. Our undanted Spirits, as they know how to trample on thy vilany: So they sleight the braves of an usurped power: the insults of a disloyall Enemy.

He who reteins a Loyall heart within him,
Threats cannot fright him, nor allurements win him.
For in that Orbe where Wisdome keepes her Court,
Wise men holds Tyrants fooles, their Censures sport.

THERE is another walking Familiar; a peeking cozening Gipsey, a John of all Trades, having sojourn'd in as many Shops, as ever Proteus took upon him Shapes, whom I am to have a bout with too. One who can spit poyson in the face of Soveraignty with more facility, than any Martin of them all; be he never so sufficiently qualifi'd in the Notions of Treason and Disloyalty.

This egregious plush-turn'd Raskall, whose back was not long since beholden to an over-cast Hounds-ditch livery: and whose Stomack was usually gorg'd with the fly-blowne reversions of a Pye-Corner Pantry; is now become one of the Grandees of that King-impeaching Assembly. This Rogue passeth under two Names: where his Alias makes up the latter; by patching up a senslesse Jew, Kenel­raker: would be an Anagram more fitly sui­ting this Hea­then Interpreter. Anagram for the firster. His Character shall render him a discovery. His numerous professions the Badges of his knavery. Shall we then draw up his yearly Compute? Yes; and in it finde him thus distinguished; thus dignifide.

Know all men by these presents, that this Mangy Mungrell in the year 1641. was a broken Iron-monger: from whence collect his Iron age. In the year 1642. having found the commodity of Iron through want of credit to be out of request: and of too hard and rusty a temper to digest; He became Petty Stationer, and sold small bookes, and ballads, winter-tales, Carols, Hookes and Eyes, Clasps and Bosses; And this was his Brazen age.

But desirous to partake knavery in the highest measure; In the year 1643. intending to play the Evedropper, He sculked in the Lobby for Newes; to set his pestilent Forge a work: and in short time grew such a notorious Stigmatist that way, as by meanes of his broaking Agents imployed in that current Mintage [Page 44] of State-lies, He became the onely Classick Author of the Age: witnesse those many millions of treacherous fictions, and shame­lesse untruths, broached and frontlessely published under his own hand in print.

Neither was this Horse-leach thus satisfi'd; his palpable igno­rance must scrue it self to an higher degree of impudence: So as in the year 1647. this Ratle-braine, who took more of Rogue than Rabby (this is one of the Devils tricks, ever to shame his Servants before he leave them) took upon him to write pittifull Funerall Anagrams in Hebrew: a Tongue that might be rendred in the Ʋtopian language, for ought he knew. For this paltry parasiticall Rascall, discovered in them as little sense, as he had before shown truth in his Pen, or sage in his Sconce.

I shall little need to devine what will become of him. All those that know him, are verily perswaded, how that threed­plush which he now weares, for all its bravery, must become the Livery of Tyburnes Gregory. And that He must at the feet of his Horse lie by doome of mortality, as he was permitted to lie here by Mabbots authority. TERENT.

Dehinc ut quiescant porro moneo; & desinant
Maledicere, malefacta ne noscant sua.

OLD FATHER LASHER; In Answer to that Scurrilous Libell, styled, but mis-called, The MODERATE.

Scelera Sceleribus sunt tuenda.

WHat have we here? The Moderate! Surely Cor­vinus, thou hast quite forgot thy Name.Nomen in Anti­thetis posuit— MODERATA durant. For if an obsceane Statizing Pamphlet may beare the Stile of Moderate: or a sottish senslesse Libell forced with Calumny, Treason and Blasphemy, hold in that predicament of Quality, the whole world, Sure, is whimzed: and has sent forth their wits a wool-gathering, without all hope of recovery.

But to follow thee hot-foot in thy own path; and trace thee in thine own track; I mean to take a little paines with thee; not for that I hold thee worthy my labour: but that others, upon thy discovery, may look on thee, and blesse them from thee, as an Abject from Grace, and an Object of Horror.

To unkennell then this Mangy Mongrell; and uncase Him too if his Sultry Hide were worth it: you are to understand that this Campe-Cataline-Curat, or Pedanticall Pedro, having traversed all Faiths, and seru'd his Apostacy to all fashions: this Protean Gypsey, I say, to foment these Schisms of the time: and repaire those Seame-rent Schisms of his Preeches: being in his Fig-leafe habit more like an Adamite, then a Senat Proselite; chanc't to fall into an Anarchicall Society, wherein after a short time of [Page 46] Probation, He became the Chayr-man, and in his Paraean and un­kinging Arguments such a publick Professor; as this Isis Asse was held their onely Idol in all the Synagogue. After a very little in­stancy by this Holy Fraternity, he was perswaded to deliver his Anarchicall Opinion publiquely (as Jezabel did out of her window) in BELS-ALLY. Where this Where he no lesse locally then doctrinally infu­sed this false Belief in those gadding Gada­reus, his wan­dring Congre­gation; how that Bell-Alley was the very place where Bell combated with the Dra­gon. Satanicall Schismatick vented such impertinent childish Tautologies: with other Atheisticall stuffe to his judaicall Assembly; As any Sober judgment would verily have thought that he had beene some Lunaticke, newly broke out of Bedlam: such apparent Symptoms of a phrensy did this Bremo discover both in Language and action. Now the principall points (and all not worth a point) whereon this bawling Curre insisted; were in such a levelling way digested: as in processe of time, af­ter sundry long gravellings, He laboured to present these his Fa­miliars with a monstrous mis-shapen Body without an Head. Telling them plainly (for his Education from a pad-staffe, could not promise much Oratory) that as there was no Smith in Israel, so it stood with the conveniency of a State to have no King in Is­rael. And that He would prove by good authority, that in their first Institution, they were accounted as Ordinary men, both in re­spect of their Antiquity, Dignity, and Quality. For said He, what great Antiquity can they prescribe from Adam? Do we read that either Adam was a King: or his Consort Eve a Queene? Digging and Delving was no proper office for a King: neither Spinning nor Weaving for a Queene. Yet was this Manufactory and Ma­nuall Labour the onely imployment of that absolute Emperour and his Emperesse. But admit (what is not to be admitted) that this Onely Man on Earth enjoy'd the Style of King; yet all the World will confesse, that He had no great assurance of his King­dome, when the taste of an Aple drove him out of his Dominion. Besides, was She worthy to reteine the Style of a Princesse, who was deceived so easily by a Serpent? Or He worthy to exer­cise his Commands over men, who was so quickly seduced by a Woman?

To the Second point; if you account him so eminent in respect of his Dignity; you are wholly mistaken (quoth He) there is no such mattter. For look upon the manner of their Election; and you will finde in it no such inducement of titular [Page 47] honour. For was not Darius that great Persian King; One who would have valued Great Britanny but as a Molehill; chosen King from Neighing of his Horse: and I pray you, did not the Groome of his Stable deserve that Title as well, if not better then He; when his device was the onely Meanes for his Master to win the prize? Was not Gordian likewise chosen Prince from the Plowshare? And Probus taken from Setting of a Turnop in his Garden to be made Guardian over a flourishing State? Would not these prove brave compleat Courtiers, when the One was bred a Gardner; the Other a Curter? O dainty perfumed Emperours! With what beseeming State could Hobnaile put on a Royall Roabe? Or a Turnop-setter, whose onely triumphant Cry was to improve the Sale of his Carrets, mount to a Chaire of State?

Thus you see, said He, Majesty clouted up in a Plow share: and disht up in a Sallet.

Now for the last, which is his Quality. Have not the Greatest Kings been the worst men? Looke upon that brutish Nebuchado­nozer; and you shall finde him grazing amongst beasts of the field: and he the very worst Beast of all the Herd. Look upon Pharaoh; and you shall finde Him acting bloudy Nimrods part, hunting cruelly and craftily after the Children of God. Go to Herod, and you shall heare Him exalting himselfe above God. Rich Ahab must have poore Naboths Vinyeard, though he have many of his Owne. Naboth must be ston'd, to inlarge his State. Thus many Kings have wholy unking'd themselves, by striving to make themselves too absolute Kings. By incroaching upon their Subjects, they have become lower then their Subjects. Base Mo­nopolies, High Impositions, heavy Imposts, burthensome Taxes, have made Peeres, Commons, Merchants, Persons of all condi­tions to become weary of their Yoake: and cast off Loyalty, to redeem their Liberty.

Those Syracusan Tyrants made fetters for themselves. Their owne actions begot them factions. They needed no greater Enemies then them selves to depose them. Phalaris that cruell Tyrant caused his cunning Enginiere Perillus to make him a Bull (nearly resembling our late Colchester Bull) purposely to tor­ment Those, whom He hated: but Perillus was the very first Pa­tient that was tormented in it.

[Page 48]
—Nec est lex justior ulla
Quam necis artifices arte perire suâ.
No juster Law on Earth was ever knowne
Then when Deaths-Artists perish by their owne.

AFTER this manner, would this wandring Gospeller vapour. But this Conventicle Alley grew soon weary of their Lecturer. So as, this Kentish Kite must be inforced to take upon him some Other vocation: being out of all hope to receive from Bells Alley or any other zealous Corner in all Colemans Street, any more pension. To repaire then his starv'd fortunes, He betakes himselfe to that over-jaded Trade of a Scurrilous Statizing Pamphletter. A Diurnall dunce; Styling himselfe THE MODERATE: Impartially communicating (if you may believe him) Martiall Affaires to the KINGDOME of ENGLAND.

Principem Cri­minari! Quid gravius? Par­thes. & Viget. lib. 1. cap. 24. —latet A­spis in ore Ma­ligni. Auson.But harken old FATHER LASHER, thou Moderate Goos-cap. Hast thou crept out of thy Schismaticall Tubbe, to play the tre­cherous Bouby in Print? Canst thou finde no face to cast thy durt (base Kennel-raker) but on the Prince? Must He be thy Subject? Yes; for thou justifies thy Plea: and avowchest Him worthy of it.—Charging him with all the bloud that hath been shed by this Warre in the three Kingdomes: Nay, with a fact of that noto­rious quality, as the very ancient Ethnicks would not suffer it to be mentioned in their Edicts: nor any punishment to be de­vised for it; because they held none so unnaturally barbarous as to commit it. Villanous Rabshakeh, doest thou charge Him with the Death of his Father? Was it not sufficient misery for Him to be deposed of His Soveraignty; deprived of his Liberty; but to have his precious fame stained with this egregious brand of infamy? Impious Impe! How darest thou accuse thy Prince? One, to whome Thou owest even thy selfe, of so haynous a Crime as Patricide? By whom didst thou ever heare Him Taxed, but by Those whose onely ayme was to innovate and change our forme of Government; nay, utterly to supplant it? These in­deed, were those Engineers of the Independent Faction, whose Labour it was, (as now it is, by their obstructing our late Treaty; in laying to His charge (grounded upon his own pretended Con­fession) all the Bloud that has been shed since these Wars begun, [Page 49] through this purple Island. But reflect, (thou Monarchicall Moth) who bestowest thy licentious Lampe in blanching the fame of Princes, and aspersing dishonour upon their actions, whose purity may justly vindicate them from the least tincture of infamy! May the soveraignty of an absolute Prince, who pursues nothing with more justifiable fervour, then preserving his Prerogative Royall; (without which, Ma­jesty, be it never so gloriously personated, nor personally accomplished, is but a naked style, or imaginary State) deser­vingly receive any such brand? That wise Politician could have better informed thy rash judgement: and declined thy loose pen from pursuit of so odious an argument; who deli­vered this State-position as a Maxim for Princes to observe, and Subjects to obey: ‘The Spirit of a Prince, who can dispence with his Prerogative: or studies to ingratiate his Subject; below himself, merits not the style he beares; nor the Throne whereto he mounts:Justin. in regim. Princ. Lamprid. de stat. reg. Plutarch. in Moral. Cic. de Repub. Paul. Jovius de antiq. ordine. Princep. C [...]ssian. de ad­minist. Gent. nor that regall state which he presents. Whatsoever lies before him, is not worthy to be admitted by him, unlesse his low desires be to lose him­self.’ Yet for all this, must the priviledge of thy licentious pen, made mercenary to relieve thy starved guts with the scattered revenues of a threepenny Ordinary, break forth into this virulent detraction of laying this boundlesse deluge of Civil blood (uncivilly effused) upon the just and legall de­fence of an authentick Prerogative.

What a brain-sick madnesse has surprized thee (Thou sense­lesse stupid stygmatist) that without ground of reason, or least relish of discretion, Thou shouldest run upon so fatall a Rock, so irreparable Precipice, as to become a Satanicall Satyr;Nugantia sunt Opera, vulgi lu­dibria, v [...]nti vehicula, ves­pis velamina, pulicibus pabu­la, Tineis teg­mina, Authoris discrimina, Temporis dis­p [...]ndia. Lamprid. and in that rough and rigid feature, present thee a Prodigy of Na­ture; nay, to every loyall eye, that holds Sovereignty a state of conscientious policy, a Monarchicall Meteor or pro­digious object of humane horror? O quàm multa opera dum pro­deunt, deplorati Authoris famam produnt! This may be justly verified in thee (Thou ulcerous Censor of Princes actions;) thy Book cannot possibly save thee, were the Ordinary, on whose indulgence thy illiterate sconce so much depends, ne­ver so partially cemented, nor by reward personally affianced [Page 50] to thee. For could either common sense or competent rea­son speake for thee, or authority were it never such a King-killer, as were nurst in Paraeus bosome, plead thy Cause, thou mightest breath some small hope of comfort, and though not of release, yet some small reprieve from present suspension: But where none of these will adventure to become Advo­cates for thee, look for no mercy; onely expect a Newgate Jury to return their pittilesse verdict upon thee; a Rhadamanth within thee to condemn thee: and Furies in all seasons, and upon all occasions to torment thee. What will become then of this Barbarous Bard, when he shall be taught to sing his in­caged note like a Newgate Bird, and in resemblance to the Ostridge, feed on his Grate, with an eager digestion, for want of better provision?

If thou hadst ever read so far (my muddy and moldy-witted Moderate) but I fear me thy Reading never travelled further then Riding, and consequently never arrived at Corinth; as to have read those heavy and tragick censures of Eupolis and Aristobolus; the gravell of their Criticisme would have so grinded thy teeth, as it would have broken thy fangs: and returned thee in no capacity of biting: though by a naturall instinct, in a quality of snarling. But what discreet brain will set any value of thy invenom'd pen! Though I must ingenu­ously confesse, it is not onely mine, but the fortune of many o­thers incounter with thine exuberant surquedries; for they fre­quently meet me in my dish; but in what posture? In the pub­lick service of ushering in of March-paines, Custard-plates, Tart-papers, with other kick-shawes: being proper imploy­ments for such spurious excrements.

But whence comes this frontlesse impudence (my Mode­rate Brain-strap?) From no other source then a confident ig­norance. Thou conceitest that the obscurity of thy person, and impertinency of thy pen, will exempt thy buffoun wit from an apparent baffle: and by a continuation of thine uselesse Diur­nall, procure thee by meanes of thy State-patron some obscure corner in an Hospitall. And this thou hopest to obtaine, when thy aged joynts become seered, thy native faculties enfee­bled: and thy lame body, like thy leane fancy, render them­selves [Page 51] contemptuously slighted. But let old Father LASH­ER undeceive thee (my Moderate Mamothrept;) Thou art lost if thou ground on these deluding ends. Let thy weak­steered resolution thaw it self into a serious retractation. It is no error to alter thy course for a better. Since thy obscene pen has shamed thee; sheath it, and let silence salve thee. None, unlesse he be his own enemy, would publish his own folly. Let no despicable price proclaim thee a fool in print. And though thy weak-winged Genius cannot soare so high, as to right so Majestick an object as thou hast traduced; yet of a mis-named Moderate become an immoderate Penitentiary; A recluse thy mansion; Teares thy Consort; passionate sighs thy sole-breathing-accents. And if thy weak estate indanger thee to starve; Returne to thy late manuall vocation (putting off thy former fraud and collusion) and in thy progresse serve him, on whose providence so long as thou relieft, Thou canst not starve. Recover thy wits, so far estranged from thee: and dis-own that improper Title of MODERATE, which has so grosly abused thee.



YOur polished lines enamelled with much art, and pretending (if we may be confident of Scotch dialect) to some truth; we have here received, wherein your labour is in the person of your whole Council of State, to assure us of that unity & affectionate har­mony, as in one incorporate State, so lately and lovingly esta­blished betwixt our neighbouring Nations; and how the in­fluence and continuance of it appears in your Representative, of so pure and refined a quality, as it were piacular to hold it capable of any jealousy. But wash off this Cerusse, Mr. Chance­lor, that we may discover your Complexion the better. Can your plausible Apology, though never so subtilly nor cu­riously woven, make us believe that you love us, or in our ex­tremes immutably cleave to us; when apparent arguments of hostility display your levitie, and proclaime to the wide world, that the Wolfe will sooner lose his haire then his con­ditions: and that the ancient Brittish Proverb will be ever ve­rified by you; Constant foes, but inconstant friends: So constant in inconstancy, as your advantage has ever wonne ground upon your Allies extremity?

But let us draw the Curtain, that we may have a perfect­er [Page 53] veiw of the Picture. You take your level from that preten­tended union so happily established betwixt the two Nations. But how have you for your parts tempered or preserved that Cement, which should have strengthned this Juncture? Did your late Invasion by that ever practising but never successive Hamilton, manifest your affection to peace, or any symptom of intended Union? Can you under colour of plunder and hostility; pretend a continuance of our dissolved unity?

Yes; you can close the wound smoothly; and palliate your pernicious projects with numerous protests; that his preci [...]i­tious attempts were both molded & acted without your privity. Take off your vizard; & let us see if your impudence can disco­ver it self without a blush. It is true, what we read of Tiberius; that he could s [...]rowd his intentions frō the clearest judgments without suspition, and walk in the Clouds without discovery. But this had been a strange imposture for a strong & potent Ar­my, levyed frō all the quarters of your Kingdom, unless they had been inveloped in Cimmerian shades, to have marched so invisibly; nay, and unanimously too, without your joynt assent, admittance and authority. Yet we must not believe this, your hearts were ever harmoniously united to us. Both in judgment and affection you were wholly Aliens to any such Invasion. And if we may have so much faith as to believe you; there is nothing that may hold consistence with our safety, which you do not equally ballance as your own security. What ami­cable brothers you be! who could think how any Snake could lye shrouded under such green grasse? And yet there lies hid a Pad in the straw. Tell us, grave Chancelor, did there ever breake forth any such sparks of your ferverous zeal to us: or any such flaming desire of being individually united to us, till your forraging Army, either through want of spirit, or disci­pline, or both, were by us wholly discomfited? During your march, all were husht: much expected from the successe of your invasion: no acknowledgement then intended: nor tender of submission. Did you then think (unbosome your selves freely, and for once cashere hypocrisy) to call for mer­cy; but rather to expose our States for fuell to your fury? Did not the confidence of an approching conquest transport you; [Page 54] nay, wholly estrange your affection: and make you forgetfull of our transacted union? Had your large-spreading Army marched on with successe, and proved as victorious as it was numerous; should we have received from your imperious Com­mands this peacefull message? would your white banner have been then displaied? No, Sir; such faire dealing could not be expected from your hands. It is not to be doubted, but your Nation knows better to make use of a victory, then how to get it. You who professe your selves now (if we were so foo­lishly credulous as to believe you) our indeared friends; would have appeared then our implacable foes. A pusillani­mous Enemy admits no quarter. You and the inhumane Irish hold concurrency in this: you cannot be secure from fear, till you can play at football with the Head of your foe. But De­vine providence timely deluded your expected successe. For what gained you by your confused march, but reproch and hate? Those Northern Parts, through which you ranged and ravaged, had good cause to conjecture, that you came rather to plunder then conquer. Mun-Ro (a man as ignorant in the dis­cipline of Armes as civil carriage, being in the one artlesse, the other savage) became a true stake to our new-established State; when his brutish and intollerable usage made those who should have been his Assistants, his Assassins: our pretented foes, our converted friends. This courtesie did that uncivil Bore do us, though against his will. Such infinite disadvan­tage befalls an undisciplined Commander by ruining his own: and inhancing his rifling fortunes with injurious booties. But we must be friends, (so you say;) These invasions must not dissolve nor dis-joynt our affections. A Nationall union has joyned us together: which no fomenters of division should dissever. Hate is not to be ingendred upon every light heat.

Fall from that accompt, good Chancelor; hostile invasions are not so to be minsed. Though remisnesse of Spirit in the pursuit of your design, caused you to faint in your fight; the impoverished North groaned under the insupportable burden of your insolence: finding no Salve to cure their Sore but a coactive patience. Now, your Casuists will tell you, that the [Page 55] offence cannot be remitted, till Satisfaction be rendred. Open your Exchequer; that must prepare the Plaster. They who invade anothers interest, harping after nothing more eager­ly, then how to prey upon others, deservedly become a prey unto others.

Though you hold your Stool of Repentance for some trans­gressions a sufficient Penance; yet where actuall or per­sonall injuries are so licentiously acted, Offences so highly qualified, are to be more strictly weighed; and sharply schoo­led. All your extorted store will scarcely recompence our in­jured State.

But you will object, and cloath your countenance in a Cloud, as if the dayes of your plunder (your onely year of Ju­bilee were expired) that you are for the present become our Tributaries, nay constant Almoners to our Souldiery: in your quartering and high Assesses to our Garisons now residing with you. Tis true; but whence ariseth this hospitable inter­taine? Is it not an Assesse, rather then a Benevolence? Our morall Philosophers, who knew best how to define true Libe­rality; will informe your knowledge sufficiently in this point. These will tell you, that a coacted Bounty is a palliated Parci­mony. What a stronger hand then your own will not suffer you to enjoy, that you seem willing to forgo; but our Nation, to whose favour you thus insinuate, expects a more satisfactory Oblation. In your late assistance, which merits not the style but shadow of an Association, your valour was oft ingaged and brought to stake, but never came off with honour. Some indeed of your Country-carcases lay scattered under the walls at Hereford. Whose Deaths gave greater testimonies of their valour then their Lives: being onely used as dead Marks to shoot at, without resistance. You were still rather upon the taking then fighting hand. The estates and livelyhoods of our distressed Country exhausted by the fury of civill warrs and domestick hostility, became your injurious merchandize and extorted booty. Which you on your foundred Sumpters daily exported to your sordid and disfurnished Lithstows, without ever doing any action of importance in our service. Though we have heard one of your Country Commanders, after your [Page 56] native facetious way, answer a qualified Souldier of ours, twitting him in saying: All their valour consisted in number. O, replied he, if we be so terrible in the apparence of our number, what shall we be, when we discover our valour? But the Cure had been worse then the Disease, if our late and long dispute had continued, till your personall prowesse had determined it. Your old Generall, now a Blind Guide, and deserted of his own; after his Sweden fame, amply gratified by his pension in Po­merania, eclipsed much of his glory, in his too much speed at Haysham Moor; where he was better known to his feare then unexpected fortune: making his issue with such winged speed through his Army, as it would not suffer him to stay the time of being a wittnesse to the issue or close of the victory. Yet in this Conquest atchieved by our hands, it was wonderfull to observe, how your frontlesse pusillanimity could put upon it the countenance of Sovereignty! For how often have we been ad­vertised of your unsufferable boldness in dating your usurping Letters, from our Towns of Northallerton, Thirske, and Dar­lington in Scotland, with other places of confluence in our Northern parts: as if you had wholly subdued these to inlarge the boundiers and revenues of your penurious State, without relation to our benefit, but highly to the derogation of our honour.

And in these your braving and insupportable insolencies, we for beare to recount those inhumane cruelties perpetrated by you; in the view whereof even the blood of Savages would curdle: and resolve hearts wholly composed of marble into teares; being writ in characters, of so deep a dy, as no revoluti­on of time can raze them. Sad spectacles! To see aged persons, who had one foot in the Grave, and whose mellow and mature yeares might have begot in your inhumane assasi­nats a venerable awe and reverence, imbathed and imbrued in their own blood; for labouring with their decayed and de­crep it strength to preserve the conjugall honour of their infor­ced Daughters. Rapes, rapine and murther frequently com­mitted, and with impunity transmitted!

But our Brotherhood, pretended alliance and association might seem to apply Salves to these Sores; we never called [Page 57] you to account for them: the more is our account.

But to omit these; for long since were they cancelled out of your memory; like a Stage-tragedy, no sooner presented, and the Curtain drawn, then with an act of Oblivion closed; your desire holds still to be at one with us; though there be no union among your selves. Which makes us partly believe that you are lineally descended from some of those ancient Britaines, (as your Nation pretends) who whensoever they were ingaged or indangered by their invasive Enemy, fled for refuge to the Romans; not so much for any expresse of loyalty, as for their own security. In a word, if you mean to shake hands with us; you must first shake off your old haire. Whi­tened walls and painted Sepulchers are more suitable Emblems for your Presbyterian. Principles, then for the late Instauration of our Democraticall Government. Your inconsistency to Te­nets of peace; and inconcurrency to truth, have made us your Aliens: though we dare trust you, so long as you be Visible Objects; in our sight, but no further.

We shall be content to accompt you Subjects: but by a dis­proportionate union, to draw in one yoake with you, were to advance you to an immerited liberty: and by that meanes bring us to incurre an imperious slavery: Nay, by our weak­nesse to enable an Enemy; who now wants sinewes to act his fury. This might detract more from our discretion, then the fame which the continued successe of our actions has won us, would in an Iliad of ages repaire.

SIR, you may spare your pen, where there is no probability to prevaile. Onely let us tell you: That your conquered Nation may hold it for a Trophie of Honour; when an English Victor injoyns you to suffer.

A FUNERALL ORATION; as it was delivered at DARBY-HOUSE: The 6. of Feb. 1648.

BEhold my Beloved! We are come hither to an House of Mourning! And we are to re­joyce in it; for it is better to come to the House of Mourning then Rejoycing. Surely the mournfull condition of this late-Meta­morphosed House must needs confirm it. O vanity of vanities! DARBY-HOUSE dissolved! That Cor­bona! that Tagus! that Pactolus! nay, that Indian Inne of Al­bion blown up in a moment! Wo is me for thee, thou head­lesse Capitol!

But in the recollection of our sorrowes, it will become me, whom Authority hath injoyned to this sad Task, to reduce these Iliads of griefes into Order, which mount to that height, as they will neither admit of measure nor number: unlesse with those, who have suffered so much by them, as they can forbear to suffer with them: or sacrifice one poor teare of pi­ous compassion for them.

Give me leave then to present this late Grand Modell or Master-piece of State in the form of a Naked Body, but no Breathing Feature: Onely a vapour; an indigested Bulke without Symmetriall Contexture, or Organicall Proportion: a vessell of dust; a Pile of dissolution. Draw near then, ye ama­zed Spectators, and in this grave, but now Grave-approching Patriot, whom we here personally present: Behold a Spe­ctacle of Mortality; a President of Mutability! See how the [Page 59] Gold has lost his Colour; how this deceased Party, that lies here before you, has lost both fame and honour! How clear a yesterday lookt upon it: and with what a lowring brow does this day welcome it? It cannot be lesse then well known to you, Judicious Auditors; how singularly this Mournfull Me­moriall was indowed: with what abilities compleated; being the onely select one cull'd from Apollo's Senat, to beget a fe­verish and awfull reverence in his retainers.

Shall we dissect him, and eye his Materialls? Wipe your eyes first, that such a sense-seazing Sceleton turn you not all to Niobees.

Philosophy tells you, that Man consists of three parts: and bestows his faculties wholly upon them. The Irascible, Con­cupiscible and Intelligible. Now survey the late abilities of this Breathlesle Object in every of these: and the apprehension of them will leave you in astonishment.

For the Irascible; he scorned to recall to mind that lesson which that absolute Philosopher left with his Emperour: ‘To repeat the four and twenty Greek Letters in his anger, be­fore he proceeded to any censure.’ Or to follow the exam­ple of Archytas; ‘Who would not correct his hind, because he was angry with him.’ No; this brave Spirit was more sensible of a wrong: and more speedy in his revenge. He would strike while the Iron was hot: He was but a word and a blow.

He held it a dishonour to him, to expostulate the cause with a supposed Malignant: Report was sufficient to make him one, without further evidence to evince him.

Believe it, my Beloved, so strong was this grave Segniour in passion; so free in his exhibition: as he with the rest of his wor­thy Rhadamanths, have sent more Presents from hence to Pe­ter house, in one day: then they did in Almes or Peter-pence all their time. It has been observed, that the onely Aire which this reverend Censor used to breath, was—Secure him, Secure him. Which was ever done to purpose: for those that went in, found the Lions Cave to be there: —vestigia nulla re­trorsum.

I have many times heard Him maintain it (to the gall [...]ntry [Page 60] of his Spirit be it spoken) that it was one of his Ambitions to learn perfectly the Art of Memory; to the end he might re­ceive a sense of his Injuries the better.The sole ends of a politick Statist. And that it was never his desire to be imployed in behalfe of the Publick, but for pri­vate ends and secret revenge. Which could never be more nimbly effected, nor colourably pursued, then while our Wa­ters were troubled: and our State distracted. He alwaies held it convenient in his object of revenge, to begin with the Ce­dar first. Eagles catch no Flies. This he confessed a few daies before he departed this life, to be be his Master-piece in the dispatch of STRAFFORD:Timely pre­vention is the life of policy: and in this President the ruine of a Monarchy. whom, if by the singular indu­stry and dexterity of his Nimble Didappers, whom he imploy­ed as Active Instruments for that design; he had not timely lopped; the aimes of his Senat had not been onely prevented; and their main project diverted: But he with all such as ad­heared to him, had been catcht in STRAFFORDS Gyn: and foold themselves, before ever they had brought him to the Bay.

One Eucopius drawing near his Bed-side a very small time before his death; seriously demanded of him, what his reason might be, under such faire plausive pretences so to imbroile a peaceful State: and instead of plenty, peace and prosperity, by his seditious complices, to bring in scarcity, ruine and mi­sery into this Kingdom? His answer was; As all Creatures feed not on clean meats: Nor all Fishes delight in Clear wa­ters: So neither did it agree with all humours to hold peace­able times their onely Jubilees. Peace, I confesse (said he) may be highly conducing to the benefit of such Merchants; whose improvement draws its life and spirit from Traffick: As all other Artists by Manufactory or other Mysteries: but Some we have who Margites—like can neither digge, delve, nor raise them a subsistence by any legall or peacefull en­devour: and must these Lobsters perish? No; Some are naturally bred for Arts; Some for Arms. Arts had their proper vocations before; Let Arms sup­ply their place now. Those that know neither how to beg nor work; by an especiall Committee of Examinats, we have given them free scope to take that course as may inforce such as cannot work, to beg reliefe from their hands, who make it [Page 61] their vocation to practise plunder: and in the pursuit of it,An excellent provision for lame Souldi­ers: and sturdy Beggers. accompt it their absolute honour.

During the time of his visitation; which was not very long: for he was taken with such a violent pestilentiall Fever, as through want of sleep with other occasionall distempers arising from the intemperate heat of his brain, He became diverse times wonderfully distracted, and in the end mortally surprised; yet in his Intervalls, he was one evening by a serious and grave Royallist, who in regard of his near relation to him, oftentimes visited him, asked these three questions.

The first, how he with the rest of his prudent and reverend 1 Synod, could digest such an apparent affront, as to endure some of their principall Members to be so injuriously rent and pulled from them; as if the whole Power or Prerogative of their House were to render up their ancient pretended Privi­ledges to the power of the Sword?

O, said he; heave but my head a little higher upon my Pil­low, and I shall answer you. These whom you call principall Members; were permitted to be removed from us, not to prejudice us, but improve us. They were known to be strong presbyteriall Opinionists; such, as held an Article of Faith to stand to their first Principles: which, as we rightly apprehend­ed, would prove inconsistent to our Priviledges. We might dis­cover a stronger Party interposing. Though we had many votes in the House: yet the Army had ever the casting Voice.

For my part, my Conscience was not so straitly laced, nor most of my zealous Brethren neither (though the Army dif­fide us, nay defide us, and in our Connivence slight us) but we could give way to Power: and dispence with our own Tenets to procure our selves peace: so cautious were we of preserving the propriety of our estate, and priority of our place.

But whence was it, replyed this Visitant; that after you had given them this repulse, you should vote them so grace­full a returne?

O, said this deceased Senatour;A rare Empe­rical Receipt; whose ingre­diences consist more of poli­cy then piety. this was not intended to cherish but to chastise them. In our receiving them, we reser­ved them for Sacrifices to the Army; to practise on them what pleased them best, whether it were cruelty or mercy.

[Page 62]Our onely policy was to approve acts of Hostility: being done by the stronger Party.

2 You plaid your Cards wisely (said the Visitant:) but I won­der how your Wisdoms will be able to answer those main and many Objections pressed against you, by that great discomfit­ed and now captivated Duke, touching your late invitation of him and his numerous fugitive forces in this Kingdom!

That Tiberian Duke, inve­lop't his Counsells in a cloud, till his cloudy designs clothed with Ambition, ha­led him to the Block.Nothing more easily, replyed this our departed Brother; may not we with as much confidence avouch that some of our grave well-monied Cittizens were their onely inviters; and that for our selves, we were never so much as made acquaint­ed with their designes till the Duke with his Army was de­feated; may not we, I say, with as much boldnesse and as little truth, maintain this; as Monsieur Loudon their reverend Chancelour, in the representative Body of his credible Nati­on, protested, purposely to ingratiate them with our awefull Senate: and by this pretensive defence of their suspected inno­cence, to reunite them to their amity and correspondence?

3 Yet, methinks, said this Visitant, you might have labour­ed so far as to have salved the wounded honour and reputation of your City; whose frequent considerable recruits ever re­dounded highly to the advantage of the Publick: by your joynt votes and voices to have opposed the Armies quartering with them: at least from suffering them to be their own Pay­masters with the Cities treasury: or dishonouring D. Hum­phrey so much,Chaste Diana's ancient Tem­ple, Augea's Stable, Laver­nas Staple. as to make him now in his old dayes the Kee­per of an Ordinary: or Commissary to a three penny Hostry; a Turn-spit to the Souldry: or to reduce Pauls Sanctuary to a pilfring Scullery.

So might we, replyed this bemoaned Party, have brought an old house over our eares. The tongue is but a weak Engine against force. Whom had we to side with us for our security, if our indiscreet votes should have opposed the Army? you must know, Sir, it fares with us as with a splitted Ship, or a ruinous Pile: when the House falls to decay, the Rats run away.

Besides, our just revenge upon those white-liver'd Citizens, (who, so they may sit quietly to hatch their own eggs, care [Page 63] not much though other nests be rifled) Or as in a thunder; where every one prayes the thunderbolt may not fall upon his own house, and very little regards the danger of his neighbour. So a sprig of Lawrell may secure him; he rests secure of others ruine.

For their daring Petitions so often presented to us; but with such easie thanks slighted by us: that, albeit we commended their care and zeal for the publick peace, yet we carried still a Stone in our Bosom, which we intended to throw whensoever opportunity should give way. That Spirit suits not well with the constitution of this time; that entertains re­morse, where he may incounter his foe with a suitable revenge.

Thus far have we presented to you in this Spectacle of Mor­tality, how this breathlesse relique of State, stood affected touching the Irascible Part: will you heare his own confession for the Concupiscible?

He acknowledged freely in the presence of sundry eminent persons; but never till our Physitians had given him over: that since the very first time that he was made a M. of the House; he found his mind much distempered with an Hydroptick humour. The more he got; the more he sought. His thirst was never to be quenched, no, though his steeming Lungs were the Spunges of the State; & shared sufficiently with the Committee of every Coun­ty: yet were all these In-comes but empty Purveiers to my hun­gry desires. For though my Nest were freely feathered at home: my Hutch richly stored abrode: I was ever angling after the fat fortunes of some pretended Malignant: hugging that pru­dentiall Ordinance, by vertue whereof a cram'd Estate impow­red a Committee to make a Delinquent. Hence it was, that being fortified by Councel at home, and Forces abroade: we found it an easie matter to make Loyalty a Crime: and vote all such as ad­hered to their P. by a Legislative Power, Egregious Traitors.

Now to the third; if you who be here present, and see me drawing near the shore, desire to know how I since my first calling up to be a Senatour, imployed my Intelligible Part: WALSINGAM in his time was never more sollicitous after Intelligence. I understood well how France begun to follow our foot-stepps: Soveraignty became unto them an insup­portable yoak of slavery. The Turkish Commonty: [Page 64] Especially with the mutinous Janizary, with whom ever since these State-distractions, we have kept a firme and constant correspondency. (for we had the knack of fingering the strings of Infidels for the better tuning of our own Instruments) appro­ved and applauded our super-regulating and regulizing Au­thority.

This infinitely joyed me: not doubting, but within short time (at least in their next Turkish Jubilee) to be enrowled Saintly Musilmen, in their Alcoran.

More Mour­ners over him, then for him.Thus have you heard, my dear Auditors, the life and death of this grand Areopagite. The grounds of his rising; the occa­sion of his falling. Yet though this funerall Room be sabled: never was Hearse accompanied with more State, nor attended with fewer tears.

Dry eyes every where usher in the Obsequies of this Se­nate. Such is the fate of those who violate their faith.

The Senate-doors are shut: those Doers in the Senate ut­terly shamed: heere a Duke degraded: a Pretorian Train dis­graced: a faithlesse Synod dissolved: an endlesse Trienniall ad­journed: and a distracted State recovered; if a New State by a late-introduced Anarchy doe not dis-compose it.


SInce the penning and publishing of that fourth Section, intitled PEMBROOKS PLEA; the Person, to whom it had its addresse and relation, changed his life: and for a worse, say some uncharitable Censors; who in the draught of his Will, like Commentors full fraughted with Lucians invention, stick not to present him acting the part of a Mad Lord at his death; as he had former­ly done of a Weake one, all his life.

Truth is, to defend the weaknesse of most of our Lords as well as his; were a work of such difficulty:Tale opus si quis ederet, sine nausea Lector non digereret. Laert. and to most of our loyall palats so dis-relishing; as it would appeare a Paradox rather then an Apology.

But if this Lords capacity were in the lowest Siege, (as is already granted;) how deservingly are those Grandees to be condemned, who being held deep Machiavels, have fooled themselves out of their wits: and recorded their unthriving Projects in living Annals of Idiotisme to all generations?

Much could I say, and more then some would have me say: but I will be spare, for I know our Consul-kites have Eves-droppers in every corner: So jealous be these Actaeons of their own interests: Onely, let me say, what the whole world will make good: That never such a Trienniall of State-gullery has been presented, since those Gooslings kept Centinall in the Ca­pitol.— O what hacking and hewing has our Whimzed State made for Senatours; when they must be teezed out of Saw­pits?— O Trephonius Cave, what a fit recluse hadst thou been; for these Spirits in the Vault, to act their Pagan Pageants in! [Page 66] yet who sees not, but any one might draw as much proving policy out of Anacharses Morter, as SAYS Synodicall Ar­bour: though in the Infantry of our State-Lunacy, That was held the onely Jewish Sanhedrim for debate: or rather that Chymicall Crucible; which out of its Callow Principles could re­solve an Episcopall Mitre into a Presbyteriall Cypher: A Mo­narchicall Scepter into a Democraticall Centre. But these, like the Amalga, had more Moon then Sun in them. For what have our Bedlamites got by their same plots?

Have they not (with their breach of faith to boot) disseised themselves and their Heirs for ever: and like desperate Ad­venturers, imbarqued the remainder of their forlorne fortunes, in the Ship of fooles, with their Tolosan Treasure sent over before them; which in all mens judgements, shall never meet them? And were not these Wise Shallops, to strip them­selves both of wit and wealth at an instant? —well, I shall ever commend that true Neapolitan, HARRY MARTIN: who, though he sometimes plai'd the frontlesse noddy; yet he lo­ved to have some sport for his money.

Condemne him not for degenerating from that feathred Martin, from whom he took his name. That Bird ever took content in a cleannest: whereas pragmaticall Harry never stood much either upon neat lodging, or clean linnen: so his dainty mercenary Dabrides were free in her quartring.

Admit his late Suburban practise has made him as brittle as a Raddish; he stood as long, and spake as much in defence of the Cause; as his decaied Calves would give him leave: or the imposthumed palat of his mouth, permit him to prate.

Thus you heare how this Spritely Member was payed home for his labour. A knot of State-Maw­worms sprung from the cor­ruption of a distemper'd Body. But for an Herd of seditious Stoicall Asses to ruine themselves; by suffering their foes to jade them: and undermine their States by their own Stratagems: Heracli­tus would scarce find lungs enough to laugh at such dottrells. For can we find any man so wise through our whole Island, that may unwarpe their designes: or in the discovery of them (if they be so quick-sighted or ripe-sented as to retreve the game) shall not observe their mis-guided flight dis-advanta­geous to themselves: and like ill ground-givers, in directing [Page 67] their Gamesters for setting their Byasses ever the wrong way?

Now, these Sage-Soakers, who were ever accounted nota­ble State-pyoners, have generally scaped the lash; while those of the younger fry, and weaker wing, being scarcely pen-fea­thred in actions of treason; must be stript, whipt, disgraced and exposed for Buffouns to the eye of the world.

It has been the unhappinesse of many eminent persons, (neither hath it balked this traduced Lord) to have suffered in their fames, by the unthankfull censures of such, who had re­ceived their subsistence and supportance from them; even their own Domesticks: as might be instanced in his Coun­tesses Coachman. Who carrying his Lady in her Coach to Church upon a tempestuous day, during her reside at Apleby in the North: her groome, more tender, it seemes, of his Horses harme then his Lords honour; caused a sheet to be thrown over them, to keep them from cold: but the tem­pest increasing, grew so fierce and furious, as it took the Cloath quite from the Horses: & hoising it up into the aire, suddenly vanished so strangely, as it could not be found. This jeering Coachman, having diligently inquired after it, but could not find it; made himself merry in his pots, in this manner: ‘I know not, to dye for't, how the devil has plundered it: nor what way it is gone: unlesse my Lord (being then lately dead) wanted a winding sheet at his death: and it is flown Southward, to present his Hon. with an office of charity.’ Was not this egregious and unsufferable impudence from a mercenary Horse-fly?

Alas, poor Pembrook! Thou couldst not crop one May-bud, but thou must be taxed for freedom of sense: and yet they taxe thee for want of sense. Thou hadst not the art to disguise trea­son: nor to pretend welfare to the State: nor liberty of Sub­ject: nor palliate thy dis-allegiance with plausible pretences of a new face and forme of government. No; if thy zeal to thy Prince (to whom I must confesse thou oughtst thy self) were foreslowed; thy revenues were the remora's, and no o­ther treacherous aimes, as thou many times freely acknow­ledged. O then, let me conclude for thee: O quàm multi faeli­ciores fuissent, si minus possedissent!

[Page 68]The world has deluded many: which imposture in most mens judgments, held no Analogy with thy bounty. But to presse this argument a little further, thy Favourites say; Thou couldst not maintain the One without the Other.

Admit him a person of Pleasure, a Court-Sycamour; more for shade then use; Take your Survey further, and you may finde some of our Rabshakah Rabbies good for neither: Assa­sins more ready to destroy, then to build: to pull up, then to plant.

As treason e­ver had Incen­diaries to fo­ment it: So assisting si­nues to sup­port it.It were to be wished, (if so much charity might be hoped for) that his failings in allegeance might be imputed to his weaknesse. No Trees can be without their Shadows: and that our State-projectors made use of his umbrage; there is none, being acquainted with their proceedings and pursuit of assistance, but will admit it. This is the onely Plea that can be made for him: if the world have so much charity in store to afford him.


Relliquiis belli civilis fungimur.—
Pennigeris facimur Nidi▪—
DOwne with those aged Piles; whose ashes may
Repair our ruines by their just decay:
And in their faithlesse breasts retaine those Scars
Inflicted on them by our civill wars.
Down with those mounting Spires of Babylon;
"England has lost the Style of Albion.
Down with those Forts, those Garrisons of State,
That to our civill Furies gave receipt;
Silenus arched Grates, Triphonius Caves,
Procrustes Cittadells, where forlorne Slaves
Hatch'd their seditious brood.— Let not a Stone
Witnesse to after-times what has been done.
Here's work for Levellers! Diggers retire,
Your delving earns you nothing; here is hire,
With ruine to those Denns that lodg'd your foes:
You see, my boyes, what way the world goes.
And I could wish, my Lads, with all my heart,
Cinque Ports were shut up too, that none migth start
From our Antycira, this hatefull Isle
Deep-dy'd in bloud, and varnished with guile;
Till some for th' service they have done our King,
Be sent to Heav'n for Presents in a string.
[Page 70]—Thus Children jeere their Parents, and contemne
Those sumptuous Works which were contriv'd by them.
A gracious prudent Age, when Sons appeare
More politick then their Fore-fathers were.
They rear, we raze; They build, and we pull down;
They crown a King, and we unking a Crown.
—But to those ruin'd Castles let's returne,
And close their Ashes in Oblivions urne.
When I by fatall Pomfract came, and found
Those stately Structures levell'd with the ground,
Richard 2. cru­elly murdred by Sir Piers of Exton and his Complices.
With that ensabled Room, (where RICHARD's s'ed
By thirsty Blood-hounds to be massacred,)
Resolv'd to mouldred ashes, I drew near,
Sending a Sigh fore-runner to a tear;
And I appli'd it thus: If furies wing
Fledg'd such revenge for murder of a King,
What heavy vengeance may we thinke will fall
Upon those Consuls of the Capitoll;
Whose onely Councell has for eight years been
Their Princes and his Off-springs ruining;
Both Root and Branch: and with a long debate
To strippe a King, and starve a phrentick State:
Expunge the name of STUART and his race,
To do their Office in a meaner place!
Rufus affirm'd, Westminster was so smal,
It seem'd a Parlour rather then an Hall
To entertain a Prince: — Sure, liv'd he now
He'd hold his Hall too short and narrow too
For such a Shambles as Rebellions hand
Has acted on the Sub [...]ects of our Land.
So as should we fresh Martyrologies write,
And make our Scene Westminster, 'twould affright
Uninteressed hearts, and with a teare
Inscribe this Mort— Aceldama stands here.
— And yet these Rooks some protects have intended,
Which at first sight deserve to be commended.
What gorgeous Stables have they rear'd of late
To beautify the ruines of a State!
[Page 71]Great Moguls Stables came far short of these
For Ordure and Equestrian rarities.
The Church (Camp-like) for disci line may vaunt
Ne're any one more truly militant.
Duke Humphrey too with his late-hunger'd Guests,
May now invite whole Legions to their feasts:
So as those starved Greeks that us'd to stand
For a receipt of Almes at our hand,
Want now a Marble Pillar for a stay:
Bob-tail and Crop-eare have more room then they.
"No Annalls nor Records since Jessees time
"Can shew Cribbs, Racks nor Mangers more divine.
So as, though Forts and Garrisons appears
Impal'd with ashes, and imbath'd in teares,
Our Stables are so stable, as no Nation
Assum'd such strength on such a strange foundation.
I would advise you then to be content,
Ye braving Towers late from your Ground-work rent;
Since sacred Phanes and Temples in your view
Are raz'd, defac'd and split as well as you.
This may be here presented as we passe
Ith'fractures of our Statues and our glass.
No; ancient Houses of their Armes are rest,
An Omen that our Gentry should be left
To a Plebeian Power: which were unmeet
That Bodies should be guided by the Feet:
Which closeth with our Capitols consent;
But just is Heav'n such Furies to prevent:
And to convert our purple Tragedy
To Comick Scenes.— Thrice blest Catastrophe!
—But lets look back, and take a serious view
Of hazards past and those that may ensue.
—Is not this strange, such action should be done
By any Kilderkin of Huntington?
Is Barme so full of Spirit? Yes, I've heard
That Heere long would pull Great Turk by th' Beard;
Recover Palestina with his men,
Translate th' Metropolis to Hierusalem;
[Page 72]Possesse him of his Throne: and with his sight
Put all his Janizaries to that affright,
As they should have more reason to complain
Of General Cromwell then of Tamberlain.
Ha's vow'd besides, his Officers shall be
Such sharers in a Turkish Emperie,
As like brave Epicurians they shall feast
And be invested petty Kings at least.
Their Sanhedrin and Councell of Estate
Should guided be as Englands was of late;
And by same Principles which they held here,
If our grand Sophies knew but what they were.
Admire this, State-Usurpers! Do but eye
This Corkie Bottle how it mounts on high
And foams with fury! — Eye this English Jew
What Plots he brews with his rebellious crue!
How Molehills or'epeer Mountains! Envious Brakes
Incroach on Cedars, and their Stations takes!
To see a Ship steer'd by a prosperous gale
And sudddenly retarded by a Whale
Or fish of some vast bulk, were such a thing
As this repulse deserv'd no marvelling:
But for a Remora to stay her course,
Her gallant Port can brook no Pirate worse.
Reflect on this: — Where is he would have thought
That to a State such ruine should be brought.
By a meer barmy Beetle! Or that he
Should raze the title of a Monarchy,
Supplant Religion, pull our Temples down,
And make a Subject, Rebell to a Crown!
Prodigious valour! Brutus falls asleep
VVhen he should play the Guardian and keep
His Country from such Tyrants. —So sleep still
Till these Horse-leaches sate their boundlesse fill
VVith civil gore: and like Cyrcaean Elves
Close up their Chaps with feeding on themselves.
England is full of blood, though much be spilt,
And by Phlebotomy must purge her guilt.
[Page 73]The way for to secure a State from stain
Is by an artfull hand to breath a vein:
Not that Basilica vena lately toucht,
Strain'd from a Stemme perfidiously boucht:
Peruse our antient Stories ore and ore
"The like State-cure was never known before.
States are like Trees; the Bole must needs decay
When th' Top-branch's lopt too near, or cut away.

Three STATE-TARRIERS Coopled up with three TART-SATYRS.

Vix Oriens tales produxit in orbe triones.
Novimus hisce pares?—
IS a pretender to a madding zeal
That makes a Bedlam of our Common-weal.
A Plague to Pictures, Ceremonies, rites,
Fonts, Organs, Surplice, consecrated Lights.
State-Symonist, who reckons it no sin
Through th' breaches of a Window to get in
As well as by the Door: — one, who can gather
No fruit nor profit from an ancient father:
Holding 't a speciall Act of Reformation
I'th' Church, to preach without due preparation.
Collects, Hymns, Anthems must be laid aside,
No wedding Ring admitted to a Bride.
No Christian Buriall, nor no Funerall Rite,
But throw him in a hole, and so good night.
A grand Assembly-man, to root out Schisme,
And in eight yeares squeaze out a catechisme
Not worth perusall: though some Donns there be
Who hold it orthodox Divinity;
The forme of pure-elixir'd discipline,
Such as our Isle ne're purchas'd fore this time.
A precious Purchase! when our haplesse Nation
Must be inform'd by blind illumination.
When Enemies to th' Crosse command us stay,
"Take up no crosse, but turne an other way.
When Temples must be Denns to harbour Theeves,
And rapine takes what morall Justice leaves.
[Page 75]When Houses dedicate to God, are made
Fo. Groomes o'th' Stable, or a worser trade.
When Pastors hold't sufficient to keep
The Fold for pro [...]t, and devour their sheep.
When that blest seamelesse Coat the badge of peace
Must be cut out in shread of heresies;
So as if He who ow'd that Coat should come
He would disclaim it wholly for his own.
What has this Reformation, pray thee say,
Improv'd our Church or Nation any way?
How has it made our channells flow with blood?
How has it w [...]th our trade or traffick stood?
In the Lords Field what darnell has it sown?
What spawne of Sects and Schismes in every Town?
What acts of horrid treason has it wrought?
To what a Sea of blood is Albion brought?
What bonds of peace remaine inviolate?
What staine untoucht that might impeach a State?
Are we not made a Spectacle to those,
Who were so meane, we scorn'd to call them foes?
—Deluded State, what caus'd thee to bring in
This Presbyterian, this man of Sin
Bred to our ruine! to division sold!
And unresolv'd what Principles to hold!
O rich religious Mintage! could no Sun
Clear our darke Phanes but that of Calidon?
Had our two Nursing Mothers lost their eyes,
And to be cur'd by such Cantarides?
Should these who were scarce Academian,
Inspir'd (ragg'd colts) by Knox or Buchanan
Oretop our Predeaux, one profounder far
Then a whole Colledge of Scotch Doctors are?
Shall these incivile Formalists propose
Canons or Constitutions unto those,
Who both for life and learning far exceed
The greatest Rabbies ever crossed Tweed?
I muse their Preachers, being hither sent
Bad them not keep the Commandement:
[Page 76]But such a Law their flock would ne're live under
That took them from their trade, the use of plunder.
Poor stupid Sots! where lye our English braines,
Must we exchange our liberty for chaines?
Must we needs fly from fire into the flame,
And close our Action with a Scene of shame?
That lawlesse time of rude Domitian
Had suited with our Presbyterian:
When a Proscription was to learning given,
And from the boundiers of his Empire driven;
No man advanc'd to offices of state
But onely such as were illiterate.
The parallel is yours: who with a style
Of gulided zeal have made a Stale o'th I'le
Cimerian Revellers; whose onely dance
Meetes in a Maze, or Net of ignorance;
So you may take your tith of mint and Cummin,
You little care for Ʋrim or for Thummim;
Meer antiquated words: Pulpits are made
For a Mechanick and a Manuall trade:
When if mad zeal his Cushion roundly beat,
He's one, no doubt, sat at Gamaliels feet:
When he no Education had at all
But from the Topicks of a Coblers stall.
Bring me three Presbyterians to this place,
Where we may state the Question face to face
(Without exchange of Tongues) for 'tis well known
They'r constant Linguists onely to their own;
And if these three in Principles agree,
Or hold that antient marke of unitie;
Or if their Tenets prove not out of joynt
In some Essentiall faith—concerning point;
I'le say, disloyall Argyle was as just
As any Subject that his Prince could trust;
His waies smooth and sincere; his wandering eye
Cleare without squinting at an Anarchie:
And that no wool was ever yet more true
Then what was woven to make a Cap of Blue.
[Page 77]Now, who should read these Paradoxes o're
Would hold them rar'st He ever heard before.
For Argyle to be loyall, who from's youth
Shak't hands with faith's adulterated truth:
Nay, to act horri'd treason makes no doubt,
So He may bring his close designs about.
And for the plundering Scot, to hold him just
Who falsifi'd his oath, made sale of trust;
Expos'd his Prince sprung from their native stock
To base restraint, contempt, and fatall block:
If these deserve approvement, there's no reason
For Loyalty to mount, but vaile to Treason.
Now as we have our Presbyter pursu'd,
Here with his admonition we'l conclude:
That if there be least grain of Grace remaining▪
His sense of sin may bring him to reclaiming.
Since a pretence to banish Superstition,
Has made our Church a Seed-plot of Division:
Since antient rites, Shrines, reliques of the Saints,
Robes, Ceremonies, Tapers, Ornaments;
Since Imagery and Pictures to his eye
Appear occasions of Idolatry;
Since he no decency can well approve,
So as Christ scarcely may discern his Love,
Nor take delight in his abused Spouse
Stript of her clothes, and spoiled in her house;
Since Order is an Enemy to him
As 'tis ith' mansion of that Prince of sin;
Since breach of morall and diviner Laws
Accuse him joyntly for the moving Cause;
Since wasting famine and the raging sword
And with that dearth of bread, the want oth' word
(Pure Manna I do mean) sprung from this shelf,
This Shark who knows not what he holds himself.
If these with such impieties as these
Took breath from him and his base complices,
Who like Egyptian flyes since they came hither
Have plagu'd our Church and Common-weal together;
[Page 78]Let him with tears ingenuously confesse
Himself the cause of Englands heavinesse,
Pollution of Religion, and th' advance
Of groundlesse Academick ignorance;
Subjects untimely ruine, with the fall
Of Prince and all, all save that Capitall;
That blest to make us curst: —That Seat of Pim,
Shambles of Saints, Monopoly of sin:
Till its swolne grandeur to that height did grow
As it s [...]u'd out the Presbyterian too,
To mount the Independent; who, he feares,
Will slight State-foes to fall about his eares.
Let him then leave his Dreams; since there is no man,
Admit he be indu'd with senses common,
But he shall finde, if he his Tenets scan,
Lesse truth in him then in the Alcoran.


IS one, of whom in Mandevile we read,
Who acts all offices without a Head.
He knows no King; no Caesar; nor a Law
That should Allegeance from a subject draw.
His gallant Independence cannot stand
Where Soveraignty holds a commanding hand.
At first (sayes he) no King was known to us;
Which to confirme, He states the Question thus.
When Adam was on earth the onely man,
Admit him King, who were his Subjects than?
Beasts, Birds and Plants the onely Creatures were,
O're which he was assign'd to dominere:
Nor can you find, turne Annals o're and o're,
That ever He a Crown Imperiall wore.
No Princely habit beautifi'd his state,
No surly Guard sat waiting at his Gate;
No groomes o'th' Chamber; nor smooth Parasites
To lure Him to prohibited delights:
Unlesse it were, (from whom we'r taught to erre,)
That Serpent Parasite, damn'd Lucifer.
Courts were not then expos'd to merchandize,
His Garden bounded in his Liberties;
Which in their choice fruition were so many,
They pleas'd himself without offence to any.
His solitary Empire was so good,
Oppression was a word not understood:
An Eden given him for his Continent,
Where each flower cheer'd his sense with various sent.
A native freedom made him onely great,
And though no Monarch in a Monarchs seat.
Nor King, nor Subject He; but such an one,
"None did depend of Him, and He of none.
[Page 80]Kings are usurpers, take them at the best,
Who with stoln feathers build their airy Nest.
For if their aimes comply with liqu'rish sense,
Angling at more then humane competence,
They play the ravenous state-incroching Beasts
To sate their quests with others interests.
And must our flesh feed their insatiate jawes,
Or slave our freedom to tyrannick Lawes,
Which much like subtle Spider-webs betray
Small Flies, while Great ones scape and break away?
He then who would his Liberty resign,
And make himself a bondslave unto time,
May he wind up his dayes in discontent,
By changing of his freedoom with restraint.
A brave exchange! when th' Master of a Trade,
Is through his weaknesse an Apprentice made;
As if he should lesse dignity receive
From style of Freeman, then the stamp of Slave.
Give me leave then to be my own Physition,
And build my faith upon this firme Position:
"He who depends upon anothers power,
"Forfeits his state to his Superiour.
What a disloyall Libertine is this,
Huggs Independence, Knows not what it is:
And for his life cannot assoyle this doubt,
Which member ha's most worth the Head or Foot?
'Tis his opinion too, no vitall part
Holds any such dependence on the heart,
As to take strength or livelyhood from it,
Or that one joynt should to another knit,
But keep a distance: as if nature ment
An independent equall Government
Through all this little humane Common-weal;
No Court must to another make appeale.
So as, methinks, His statue is become
Like Mahomets rare— independent Tombe
In Mecha rear'd; which twix't two Adamants
To th' admiration of those Miscreants,
[Page 81]Hangs in an equall distance without stay,
From roofe to pavement in a middle way.
Should we survey Him further, we might find
This Prodigy to nature most unkind
To his own Members being much asham'd
To call them his, because thei'r Organs nam'd:
Tunelesse they must be, if such Pipes they be,
Swolne with Apocryphall disharmonie.
But what are State-distractions unto Him;
In troubled waters He desires to swim?
For even as Beetles are by ordure bred,
So is his humour by distempers fed:
When flourishing Empires surfeiting of peace
Breake forth into rebellious Complices;
When Civile wars imbroile a fruitfull Land,
And gage our fortunes to a Souldiers hand;
When Princes are cut off, and Traitors live
By their own Lawes without Prerogative
Or check of Caesar; than, and nere till than
Doth th' Independent shew himself a man;
Or savage fury; then is his harvest-day,
VVhich must by others ruine make a way
To his exhausted fortunes; and redeeme
His blanched fame by good mens disesteeme.
Fame strangly purchas'd; when a knave in graine
Aimes at esteem by an injurious gaine!
But to reclaime thee, and expunge that wrong
Absur'd opinion thou hast nurs'd so long,
Tell me, licentious rioter, whose state
Ha's its subsistance from our Civile hate
Fed by perfidious Councell; what can'st see
Should plant these grounds of Independencie
In thy distemper'd bosom?—Take a view
Of all such Creatures as on Earth renew,
VVhat Analogicall dependence these
Acknowledge in their naturall increase.
Plants cheer'd by silver dewes and glorious rayes
Bud, bloome and blossom forth delicious sprayes;
[Page 82]VVhich without native heat and moisture too
VVould neither fruit not livery bestow:
The faithfull Elme supports the fruitfull Vine,
The Honey-suckle clinges the Eglantine;
An Embleme of the State and Church our Mother,
Holding such near dependence one on th' other.
Rills from their Fountaines like relation take,
Sprigs from their Stems, and Consorts from their Make,
Servants to Masters, Children to the Law
Of Parents, whence they their extraction draw;
Souldiers to their Commanders; in a word
Inferiour States to their superiour Lord
Hold true Analogy: No Musick sweet
Unlesse the strings harmoniously meet:
And breath such Diapason in the eare
As no dis-union in their notes appeare.
Had Orpheus harp been harsh, we may presume
Pluto had ne're been ravish't with his Tune,
Nor so surpriz'd with his attractive hand
As to bestow whats'ere He would demand.
O had he been from jealousie as cleare,
As in his Musicall pure Lyrick sphere,
He might with safety have enjoyned his Bride,
VVho now lies wantoning by Pluto's side!
Observe but these; and see if any shelfe
Incounter with dependence but thy self.
Stones by a native cement are so knit,
No art nor violence may sever it
VVithout a dissolution of the maine,
In these reflect upon thy Soveraign,
That polish'd stone, if it should be defac't,
The structur's blemished where it was plac't.
For it fares with the body Politick
As with the Nat'rall; if the Head be sick,
Or indispos'd, the Members needs must show
An Indisposure in their temper too.
He sits at sterne, and like a Pilot guides
The ship that on the Ocean bravely rides.
[Page 83]Impetuous windes He patiently indures,
Imperious feares He with his courage cures;
He holds the Card by which they steare their course,
He of his fellowes sufferings takes remorse.
He shares in all extremes: and entertaines
His Mariners for sharers in his gaines.
Now, who is He if humane, could afford
An hand to throw this Pilot over boord?
Yet thou art He hast done it:—yea that Gate
VVhere thou perform'd that tragick Act of late,
Act of all Acts a President, and tell
If any age can shew it's parallel.
Now if a Tree be best known by the fruit,
How may it with an Independent suit.
To kill his Soveraign? —Abjure it then
And be no more a Prodigy to men:
And to assoyle the crime that thou haste done
Unto his Syre, redeeme it in his Son.
Recant, relent, returne, repaire thy time,
And turne true Convert to the Royall line.


IS a Platonick Pioner, whose care
Is in anothers fortunes so to share,
As He his full proportion may get
In their Receipts for which He never swet.
This man 'mongst fooles was held in great esteem,
Deluding them with this fantastick dreame,
That none in proper should possessed be
What others might not have as well as He.
This was cry'd up at first with great applause,
Because it was confined to no Laws:
The Prentice now might be a Freeman made
First day he came, and never learne his Trade.
A puny Clarke might for a Justice sit
And vie with's Master both for worth and wit.
The foreman too, for so his fate allowes,
Might freely share in's Masters Counting-house.
He who Margites-like had spent his prime,
And ne're did any good thing all his time,
Might safely style himself some great mans Heire,
And share more in his treasure then his care.
The Prodigall fed with delicious sloth,
And knew no posture but from hand to mouth,
When he with riot had consum'd his store,
Might leap into a Mine of Golden oar
To second his late surfeits, and repent
Of nothing more, save that no more was spent.
No difference 'twixt mistresse and her maid,
Both in their order equally obey'd.
For Academies, though no precious gem
Should be compar'd to Learning amongst men,
Proficients in Arts so slighted were,
A Groome might be made Doctor of the Chaire.
[Page 85]Scholastick Tippets, orders and degrees
Might be conferr'd without accustom'd fees.
Fat Prebends, who might by their Patrons rise,
With those who ne're rose to a Benefice
Might share alike, and joyntly be possest
As if they had a mutuall interest.
No Farmer needed to observe his day,
Because no Law in joyned Him to pay.
All stood Copartners, and might partake
By Competition in an equall Stake.
O dainty mold of formelesse Government,
When fooles are onely holden provident!
When Princes, Peers, and Persons of renown
Must rank in state and breeding with the Clown!
When swads who never knew gentility,
Extraction, posture, gracefull quality,
Nor civile garbes, must strut it cheek by joule
With Purple Senatours, without controul!
Brave a la mode! if this phanatick levell
Suit not with that Dominion of the Devil,
Where horror and confusion onely dwell,
I'le say there is an harmony in Hell.
Now in this Levelling order you shall find
Two distinct sorts branch'd in a severall kind.
The first true Adamites, with strength of hand
Digge Commons up, let no inclosure stand.
And these are they indure the heat o'th' day,
Doing their work in hope of future pay:
Our Commons Rurall Patriots: who indeed,
Account themselves Heires of the promis'd seed:
But peacefull portions please not factious men;
They may inherit, true; but God knowes when.
The other shews himself more Martiall-like,
One lesse inur'd to Mattock then to Pike.
This sweares by his Buff-jerkin, He would see
That man who dares stand for a Monarchie.
The Kingdom's ours, late purchas'd by our sword,
And we'l dispose on't at our Councell-Boord,
[Page 86]Thus swells this Ranter: —He who would command
Or share in fortunes, must receive our hand
To make his Title good: —what do ye talk
O'th Old Exchange or of the Merchants walk;
Their Trafficks and Accounts for many yeares
Serve but to answer us for our areares?
The City thinks we their Protectors are,
And for their safety keep our quarters there:
But simple Cockneys, they shall shortly find
By our designs, we're of another mind.
Our aime's Community; and we must have
A part in that which they take care to save.
Their sleepes were calme and sweet: none to molest
Their conjugall Embrace; no barred Chest;
While we to all extremes ingaged were,
And had no Twilt to shroud us but the ayre.
None with rich fraught did e're the haven enter,
Who on the Sea would not his person venter.
And must these Lobsters flow with store of wealth,
Injoy their liberty, preserve their health
Witn Physicall Receipts, while we confine
Our famish'd hopes to th' humours of the time?
No, No; these Bilbows that impale our side
Bid us march bravely and observe the tide.
We're Caesars all; and those who will not give
VVay to our Law, He ne're deserves to live.
VVe promise parity, and that is Law
VVhich like th' attractive Adamant will draw
Plebean factions, who desire to be
Owners of theirs, and in their persons free.
But little know these fondlings what we meane,
For we in truth are not the same we seeme.
'Tis least of our intent that these should stand
Equall to us in fortunes and command.
These must be Petti-sharers at the best,
And reap their Vintage where our grapes are prest.
Souldiers of fortunes once, indeed, we were,
But now that needy style we scorne to beat.
[Page 87]Successe has made us great: nor do we know
That Sect or Faction that can make us low.
VVe frame no Calidonian pretence
As if we went to fight for Conscience
As Presbyterians do; whose pilfring zeal
Can make a Shirt o'th' Syrpecloath that they steal.
Religion is no Action we maintain,
Platonick parity is all our aime;
VVhich having got, Those that depend upon us
Shall see how State and Majesty become us.
VVho by successe is Soveraign made of power,
Cannot endure a rude Competitour:
So who by Conquest ha's advantage got
And ne're improves it, He deserves it not.
Heare you this ranting Rebell make his boast,
As if he could by his victorious Host
Subdue the spacious world, and retaine
The style of universall Soveraign?
But heare this Admonition, Sir, of ours
Before that Conquest make the world yours.
You tell us, Sir, you never ment to fight
For your Religion nor the Churches right.
The aime you had in your commencing war
VVas to make States Monarchiall, Popular:
Though I must tell you, some have lost their blood,
Of your own faction, for the Churches good;
And late at Tyburne left a precious pledge
For Clements and S. Gyles joynt Sacriledge:
So as for sacred stealth, though nor for murther,
You past, S. Gyles to mount a little further.
It was no Clergies cause nor care of King
But Churches stuffe that rais'd them to this string.
But pray thee Leveller, what hast thou done
To make thee such a fearfull Myrmidon?
Did not thy Forces lately, Horse and Foot
Receive from Generall a fatall rout?
VVere not some of your Chief Commanders shot,
VVhile th' rest by their submission quarter got?
[Page 88]Must these run o're the world, and display
Their plumed helms, who lately run away?
Ye who resolv'd to lay your Levell round,
Are you not now laid Levell with the ground;
Rest of repose; of fortunes dis-possest,
Unlesse ye build upon the Martins nest?
Come Leveller, let's have no more to do,
See what condition thou art brought into.
Hang up thy Musket, Fauchion, Fife and Drum,
Untill the Prince unto our Borders come:
Whom to restore should be thine onely Levell,
All else act Mathematicks for the Devi [...]l.
The onely way to regulate the time
Is by a loyall Level, royall Line.
This will conduct your aymes to glorious ends,
And of State-traytors, style you Caesars friends.

Upon the ERRATAE'S.

DUring the late fatall continuance or epidemicall dispersion of that unexemplary Kings evil; a contagion of such malignant influence, as it forc'd a Princely Father to the Block; his Sonne to Exile; inacting Loyalty High Treason: and a Competent Estate a Sufficient Plea to impeach the Innocent of D [...]linquency. During (I say) this Careere in our distracted State; Sundry Parts of these Sections, through the Stationers fear of the strict and severe search of irregular Censors, or mercenary visitants, (who pretended a power to seize on the Press, to cram their own Purse) were scattered, in hope to be secured: so as the Originall Copy, after a long quest could not be retrived: nor these Sections compleated; till now by the Authors industry, recollection and Helps of memory recovered, re­vived and methodically digested.

Though His necessitated attendance on Committees injoyning his ab­sence from the Presse, might occasion the Committing of many Errors, which by his presence might have been prevented. Let Gold-Smiths Hall then undergo the Censure:A self-interes­sed Com­mittee, the cunningst ina­meller of Vice: and inchaser of State-Er­ror. seeing it knows so well how to guild Error: and imbellish it too with a Curious State-Cov [...]r.

Now to remove all grounds of prejudicacy (for it fares with Books oft­times, as it doth with Great-mens Children, to be wrong father'd) the Au­thor of these Sections, is supposed to be the same, who writ that Excellent Tragi-Comedy, intitled-MERCURIUS BASILICUS; presented with no less State then generall applause before the Queen of Swede and other Prin­ces at her Palace of Stockholme.


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