WHat, Brother Waterton! Now as I am a Gentleman, and by this martiall hand of mine, I rejoyce to sée thée: and though the splendant Sunne of our Glory he now Eclip­sed for a while, yet let us not quite cast downe our drouping spirits; but let us rather strive to comfort one another, and séeke to thaw the Frozen Zoane of our carefull hearts with a Cup of Old Cana­rie.

Brother Quarterman, I most humbly thanke you for your kindnesse; and am most willing to attend your portly person to the Taverne, but I beseech ye Sir, nor too much of that Canarie: for indeed the truth [Page 2] is, we are counted Canarie-Birds by too many alreadie; and therefore it is sufficient that we content our selves with a Quart (or a Pottle) of burnt Claret, and so to clarifie our injuried soules from the scandalous report of our re­proachfull enemies.

How! Who dare be so presump­tious, as to take notice of our procéedings? It is not so long that we have béene out of our Offices, for all the world to take no­tice; Let us make our selves busie still: Hast thou never an old Staffe of Office to take in thy hand; were it but the thick end of a Broome-stick should appeare in mine, in the likenesse of a Truncheon, it were enough to strike terror into the hearts of a hundred people: But what Newes doest thou heare abroad, I prethée, concerning the Times?

Verily, brother Quarterman, it is suspected amongst our Brethren, that the King will come to the Citie, which cannot be with­out great prejudice to all our Societie, and to us two especially: for as I hope to live, or to be honoured with the Name of High-Constable of Wapping againe, I had rather see Pauls Steeple fall to the very ground, then the King should come with honour to London againe.

Ile fell thée, Brother Waterton, if so be that I had persevered still in the seveare Office of my mercilesse Marshallzie, I would have had Paues by this time bin ready to run into little St. Gregories, for her san­ctuary, which now by reason I am jack out of office, (and the Kings coming to towne,) may be prevented, other wayes it could not have stood: for when I was first made Mar­shall, I had no sooner entred into my Office but Cheape-side-Crosse fell presently into an Agonie, and I had no sooner said, downe w^t it, but downe it went: Heavens grant that I never may see the resurrection of the body thereof, lest I should be called into question for my presumption at the pulling of it downe.

Indeed Brother Quarterman, it was an admirable piece of service for the pulling down of that superstition and idolatry, and therefore there is none but such as are inclin'd to Popery that can accuse you for doing of that great work of piety.

Verily Brother VVaterton, a man would have thought so, and yet for all that I was never the better beloved in the City, for my great care and paines-taking in those py­ous workes of Reformation.

Hang love, (Brother Quarterman,) [Page 4] since we can not have it, for indeed it belongs not to men of our qualitie to be beloved, but rather to be feared, yet the truth, is both you and I have been too favourable in our Offices, and as the old saying is, too much pitty spoyles a Citie.

Nay, by the masse Brother Water­ton, I never wanted for beggers curses, and the rich sometimes to boot, I would they had cause to curse me still, for I was like to the Kite, the more they curst me the better I thrive, and they shall have good cause for't as long as I live.

I, but a lasse Sir the staves are now de­livered out of our own hands, and we both be­ing both disarmed of our Authority, are subject unto injury as well as other men, (and by pye and pudding,) now that I am turn'd out of my Office I am afraid that I shall be called to give an accoumpt, for some things that have beene done in the time of my Constableship brother (Quarterman) this was a very strange and un­expected alteration; that I who lately durst punish or imprison right or wrong, am now of [Page 5] a sudden come to that passe that I can secure my person no more then he that never bore Office before in all his life time.

Truly Brother VVaterton, the case is not onely yours, but also mine, for I do verily believe that we are both sick of one disease, and the one as uncureable as the o­ther, for which the only Physick is as follow­eth, an ounce of honour, mixt with a pottle of preferment, put into a gallon Boule of securitie, and made into a posset, under the great miltch Cow of the Common-wealth.

And is that good for an Ague I pray you brother Quarterman, for I feele a kind of shak­ing and shivering in my bones, that I am afraid things are not as they should be with me.

Well, truly and I do believe that the most of our Blood is troubled with the same disease, are they not thinke you [...] pray ye tell me how all does about you in Wap­ping, and Stepney Parish, how fares it with my two Brothers Andrew and Benjamin, my Sister Prudence and Priscilla. with the rest of our dearely beloved Friends and Tub-Preachers, are not they troubled with a shaking too? if they be not already, I am a­fraid it will come upon them very shortly, if they use not some spéedy meanes to pre­vent it.

I but do you thinke there is no other cure for us, but that onely which you told me of before.

Yes, the best way else is to take a wooden Horse, and so h [...]yst away for New-England, for the change of the Country may be the meanes to alter the constitution of the body.

But stay, Ile see a little further first, a man had almost as good venture a hanging here, as to leave his friends and meanes be­hind him, to hazard a drowning, to go to New-England or Virginia.

O Sir, but you looke very ill on't already, and your disease begins to appeare very desperate, and desperate diseases re­quires desperat cures, as the Proverb saith;

In truth Brother Quarterman, you and the Doctor are both in one opinion of me, and most men tells me that I droope mightily of a sudden and indeed I find a great alterati­on in my selfe, not to be the like man I have beene formerly, neither at home nor abroad: but if it be so that rich men are mortall and must dye, Ile now take my chance in Old-England, [Page 7] and if I dye well, so; if ill, then let all (High-Constables) learne to be good in their Offices, and take heed how they leane too much upon a Rotten-Staffe, though nere so rich [...]y painted.

Well, would I had considered as much before as I do now, for I perceive that he who meddles the least, is counted for the honestest man, and if you and I had taken that course, I thinke it had beene the wisest way for us both.

Why, if I had knowne of it. I would have sent you word by one of my servants, to have given you noitce of some of your Adver­saries, by a trusty friend, one Munck a Cobiet, and one of the bravest fellows to carry a mes­sage in the world; were it betwixt the Turke and the Devill, he would have let no flies stick upon his heeles I warrant you, but would have helpt you to have scowr'd your enemie, from the very nose to the touch-hole behind.

But now Brother Waterton, I thinke it would be a wise course both for you and me, as the times goe, to séeke our peace, and be in charity with all men.

O Sir, but it is a question whether they will be in Charity with us or no, for in­deed the time hath beene that they would, when we would not, ye know that we have [Page 8] had good dayes▪ when they have felt sorrow, for before that I was thrown out of my Office then who but M. Waterton High Constable of Wapping, how then but good your worship standing with their hats in their hands, with bending knees, & now alasse there is a qualme come over my stomack, good Brother Quar­terman fill me the tother cup of Claret quick­ly.

What, ill againe man? your fits comes very thick upon y [...]u.

Yes Brother Quarterman, but I won­der they come no faster upon thee, you told me that to take a wooden Horse and so for new England was the second best medicine, but what doe you thinke by the wooden Horse, the Gallows I pray ye, they say that that's good for an Ague too, and you being so well ac­quainted with the Hangman, I make no doubt but he will give you leave to chuse your cor­ner.

I but Brother Waterton, I hope you are not come to jeare me for my good counsell?

No Brother Quarterman, and yet I have heard that as honest a man as either you or I has dyed in the winter.

Brother Waterton, to tell you the very truth, I thought y^t I had an Ague upon me, [Page 9] which now I find other wayes, and rather that it is a strong surfit which I tooke above a dozen yeares agoe.

Why, was it with eating hot graines with a Sow for a wager, at that time you plaid the Brewers servant.

Well Brother VVaterton, but I am sure that you tooke not a surfit when you strove with the woman at Wapping for your Christmas Dayes Dinner, as they call it, when you tooke the péece of leane béefe from her, and she saved you a labour in fetching your Pye, and Pudding, from the Bake-House.

Well, but for all that I verily believe mine is a surfit too, and as I imagin a cold sur­fit, which as neere as I can, Ile tell you how I came by it, upon a cold winters night a Sea­man and his wife came at an unseasonable houre from drinking which I perceiving, and being loath to disturbe the Neighbours, or trouble the Watch, went in curtesie to helpe them to a lodging my selfe, which indeed was the Cage, and comming to the doore when I opened the Lock, the knavish Seaman being too strong for me, thrust me in, and withall lo [...]kt the doore againe, and then threw away the Key into a Ditch, and when he had done, he went away laughing at the knavish trick which he hah served me.

Oh what an impudent Rasca [...] was that, to offer to be so presumptious, a [...] to put you into the Cage, knowing you to b [...] the High-Constable of VVapping, and on [...] that had borne Office so long in the Parish as you have done: but was none of you [...] Nei [...]hbours neare at that time, to stop th [...] Knave before he were gone too farre?

No indeed, and they were, it seeme [...] they bare me not so much good-will as to doe it, for as I beard since, they rejoyced at it, and laugh at the busines as much as the knave tha [...] did it.

It séemes by the Story there wa [...] good neighbour-hood among them, and yet m [...] thinks that if they would not do it for love [...] feare should have compel'd them to have d [...]n [...] it, but how long did you stay there?

Marry till such time as the Roun [...] came by to release me, and then I had like to have had my b [...]a [...]nes knockt out.

Your braines knockt out man, (marry Heavens forbid,) by what meanes I pray you Sir?

By one of the watch-men, who had got a cup in his head more then the rest of his fellowes, coming to the Cage and asking what I was, to whom I answered, saying, M. Water­ton, High-Constable of VVapping▪

Well, but I hope he did not offer to strike or abuse you for telling him the truth?

No, but he put me into a damnable feare that he would have done it, being mistaken in the darke he told me I lyed, and said if I would not hold my prating, but abuse the High-Constable of VVapp [...]ng's name in that manner, he would knock my Cocks-combe for me, as it was never knockt since the first time that my Dam bound my head.

Alas good honest Gentleman, then it séemes that you were almost in as bad a case as poore transformed Acteon was, who appearing in a strange shape, was torne to death by his owne Doggs: and you being heard to speake so in an unexpected place, peradventure might have had your braines beat out: by your owne Friend the Watch­man, and so here's to you the other cup of Claret.

Verily Brother Quarterman; I must unbutten a button or two before, for my Dublet growes too straight in the waste already, and yet for all that my Sure is made so little, I am afraid that the Taylors Bill will be made as much too large, when he and I shall come to a reckoning toge­ther.

Well, but I would wish the knave to take them againe, were it my [...]ase although I were at some losse, to be rid o [...] the troublesome Scab, for the law is charg­able you know.

Yes Sir, but who would have thought that the times would have changed so sudden­ly with me, for at that present I had the law in mine owne hands, and the proudest Taylor a­mongst them all durst not have resisted, not questioned the matter in those dayes, but now I could wish with all my heart, that two or three of my loving Neighbours would take up the busines betwixt us, and it should be a war­ning to me how I meddle with strange Tay­lors any more, but I'me afraid very few will take my part, but rather rejoyce to see the Tay­lor take vengeance on my purse, because for­merly I tooke so little pitty on theirs.

I Sir, but not of all your Neigh­bours, I hope you put a difference betwixt the good and the bad? and though forty or fifty far'd the worse, I make no doubt but others came off the better?

No indeed Brother Quarterman, it was not only forty nor fifty, but hundreds, nay even the whole parish, and some as far as Bow, and Brumley, which I could wish they were all as farre as Rome.

I, but Brother VVaterton, I heare there's a worse thing then all this, which is like to come upon us verry short­ly.

VVhy, what is that I pray you?

Marry they say that the running Stationers of London, I meane such as use to sing Ballads, and those that cryes Malignant Pamphlets in the Stréets, have all laid their heads together, and are fram­ing a bill of indytement against us, because divers times to show the power of our Au­thority, we have taken perforce or torne their rediculous Papers.

By the masse I thought that some thing was the matter that made the knave so scawcie on Tower-Hill the other day, for I did but bid him to be gone, and not to stand baw­ling of his Ballads in that manner, and he told me that he would sing there when I was hang'd, nay, perhaps (quoth he,) one that shall be of thy owne Execution.

But what was the subject of the matter that he sung at that time I pray you?

For that I do not well know, because he had almost done before I came to him, but I'me sure the knave pray'd both for the King, and the Queene too, in the conclusion.

And would not the people check him for his impudencie, and take your part?

Marry they were more readier to up­hold him in his knaverie, and breake my pate.

Well, then it seemes that you are in a manner as well belov'd in the Suburbs as I was in the Citie formerly; which in­deed is, as the Devill loves holy-water, if their hearts were according to their hands, in a late Petition of theirs, against me.

I, brother Quarterman, and if they knew but as much knaverie by you, as I doe by my selfe, I would be hang'd if they would not, have had a Booke, or a Ballad, out of us both by this time: I thanke them heartily, they've remembred me alreadie in their last Christmas Caroll, because that Mast. Diu with his Dagger, and my selfe, suffered no Plums to come to Ratcliffe-Crosse, to make their prophane Pot­tage on that morning.

Well, brother Waterton, with all my heart; I'le take my leave too, friends you know must part.