Numb. 1 A New DIALOGUE BETWEEN Some body and No body. OR THE Observator Observed.

COusen, well met: Cousen a word with you.

Cousen say you? there be ma­ny Conz'ners Sir, i'th' world; and you may be one of them for ought I know: for I don't think I ever saw you in my life, and know not how you come to claim kindred of me.

You may have heard of me Sir, for I am of the Family of the Bodys.

I know not who you are, for I have heard of many a Rascal: but you look so like a Tory by your Garb and Habit, that I will ha' nothing to say to you.

I look like what I am not.

The more dangerous Fellow still. But what is your Name, that presses thus to be known to me?

My name is No body.

I have heard of you indeed good Mr. No body▪ Sir, Fare you well, for you are one of the most dangerous Fellows I ever met with; and a Man had need stand upon his Guard that converses with you, as if he were discoursing with F. G. T. B. or B. H. who are not to be spoken with, without a Jury of Witnesses.

Good Cousen Some body, be not so fearful, for I may talk Treason by Autho­rity.

Why are you a Tory?

No body may speak Treason.

I thank you for that, and Some body may be Hang'd for it. I won't come with­in the Air of your breath; for you are one of the most pernicious Scribblers of the Age, the Press is pester'd with your Works of all sorts and sizes. What Cart loads of Treasonable, Scurrilous, Virulent, and Malicious Papers, are put out every day in no bodys Name, and Printed for no body, nay impudently owned by no body.

You see then I am a Man of Note.

So noted a Man, that I don't care to ha [...] to do with you▪ for you are a Man of no Principles or Religion, you write on both sides.

There's your mistake; for I am of your Religion.

What's that?

Of every Religion; or of the Reli­gion that's uppermost: let's not fall out about that, our Cousen Every body has in­vented a Religion that all will conform to.

And what is that?

The Religion of H. R. and the Ob­servator, INTEREST.

I see you are acquainted with the Torys, you are a Trepanner, I'll leave you.

Ben't so hot as Tory T, who sweats his Religion out at his forehead. Cants one day, and Recants another, says and unsays as fast as a Dog will trot. Leave me for nothing?

I have told you the Reason, 'tis a dan­gerous time to hold Discourses with Any body; you may swear me out of my Life for ought I know.

Any body is a Rascal, for he opposes Some body: But mistake not, I never swore against Any body in my life, and I am of that Reputation, that my Oath will not be taken. So that you are safe enough.

What is your business with me?

Only to Dialoguise after the Mode.

After whose mode?

The new Mode of Railing: Why should not we Rail a little against the Times, talk Non-sence, Rant, Fence, Exa­mine, Observe, Abuse the People, Pam­phlets, Manners, Religion and Govern­ment, as well as other Folk?

Nay, now I see you are no well-meaning Man [...] no lover of your King nor Coun­try, a hater of Government, a Man of no Religion, a Dissenter, a Canting Noncon­formist, a Whig of the last Edition, by this infailable mark of hinting against the in­genious Belphagor Heraclitus, and the most indefatigable Briarius the Observator, who has built a Babel with his hundred Hands, higher than that of Old in the Plains of Shinar, to save all true Protestants from the Land▪ Floud of the Whigs, which he expects.

I think you are as fearless as Heracli­tus himself, and as Malicious as the Obser­vator, but I am afraid you have not so good Spectacles, else I would desire a little of your observation in Dialogue.

If I may have any Confidence in you, and that you will not speak Treason, I don't care if we do Dialogue together, to get us a Stomach sometimes to our Din­ner, as well as other People; for since they have not got a Licence for all the Talking in the World, why should not we chatt a little?

You say true, they have no Padlock for our Tongues, and I know no reason, but we may talk as well as they.

But then we must talk as imperti­nently, and with as little Sence and Rea­son, and with an huge stock of Confidence.

Nay, We must learn to lye too, back­bite, defame, rail, threaten, domineer, and triumph over the weaker side.

That I have not yet attain'd to.

But we may observe how artifici­ally the Tories do it, and learn to fence after their manner: And for that end Cousen Some body, if you will be a Whig, I will shew my self a Tory, and discourse as like one as ever you heard.

'Tis a dangerous thing to take the Whigs Party, they are going to the Wall, nay into the Kennel, their Meeting-houses are going down too, there's a Statute for it.

And as the wise Observator says, may they not thank themselves for it?

For being so quiet in them? for Preaching and Praying?

No, for medling with the Govern­ment.

A black Charge, all the enormities of the lewdest People are charged upon them without Proof or Witness.

How so? Is not Heraclitus a suffi­cient Witness? And is not the Observa­tors word Proof and plain Demonstrati­on? And is not N. T. to be believ'd? what would you have?

But for all that a Grand Jury of most of the Nation will find their black Bill of Charge, IGNORAMUS.

Then shall all those of the Nation (let them be who, and as many as they will) be accounted by them as bad Fana­tics as any Grand Jury that ever sat at Hickes-Hall.

But is this the way to be of one Re­ligion?

You had best call this Persecution do? Sir, the Whigs Schools too must be Reformed, as well as their Conventicles confounded: No more Seminaries nor Nur­series, Mark that!

That's the right way indeed to be of one Religion.

Now are you hinting—speak out Whig, you mean Queen Maries.

Know it by my mumping, if you will these are not times to speak out. Truth is not to be spoken at all times.

Is it not time to down with the Conventicles, when as the Observator Observes, they convert them into Work houses? What a many several Trades has he found among them, Listers, Canvasers, Make-Parties, Turners, Cutters, Casters or Founders? and all these at the Meeting-houses. Good People! how they are employed, if you believe him? 'Tis fit therefore they should be all put down, as well as the Covents, Abbots, Monkeries and Nunneries were by Henry VIII.

But I doubt the King won't get so much by these, as Harry did by them: They were put down for be­ing idle, lazy Drones, and these for being too buisy and laborious Workmen. See how the times are changed.

But they are meeting apace in a Reformation.

And shall no Dissentors be indulg'd?

There are a sort that are not in the Observa­tor's List, that hope yet for more than Indulgement.

Prethee, Are there not several sorts of Assen­tors, or Consentors, as well as Dissentors?

I think so, but name them your self if you will.

For instance then, There are your blind-fold Assentors, and these are your true Ignoramuses that know neither the Why nor the Wherefore, of their Religion; they consent for Form sake, and assent at all Adventures, right or wrong, and see no more in­to a Case of Conscience, than the Observator into a Millstone. Then there are your Hypocritical Consen­tors, who look one way, and row another, and many a thousand of this sort, open their Mouths loudest against Dissentors: These the Observator overlooks, or will not observe. Then you have your wilful Consentors, who will neither use nor understand Rea­son and had rather a third part of the Nation should perish, than part with the least shred or paring of the Form of Religion, and had rather confound a Million of Dissentors Consciences, than pa [...]t with an indifferent Bawble: These are they who will hear no Reason, for they are in the Right they're sure of it, and cry out much on Religion, according as it is by Law Established: If you dissent from these, they cry out Fanatic, Whig, Villain, Traytor, and will have every Conscience Fancy. These are Men also stiff to their Party, are for Persecution, and believe as the Church believe, tho they know not what it is. And as for Spiteful Assentors, commend me to those who cry down, down with'em, down with their Conventicles, down with their Consciences, and then pick up their sayings, rake in the faults of Persons, speak against every one that crosses them, and would fain have the Statute renewed for the Writ De Comburend [...] Ha­reticis. These are a sort of virulent, malicious Assen­tors, that would be, if they might, as Willful and as Cruel as the Papists.

Numb. 2. A New DIALOGUE BETWEEN Some body and No body. OR THE Observator Observed.

WELL met, well met Cou­sen Some body.

Nay Mr. No body, I can't tell that.

What are you sick then?

Not sick neither, but I don't care to be met with: Meetings must be put down, there must be no Meetings, therefore I will turn and go backward.

Must I speak then to your Back-Side?

Ay, Ay, all things are Arsa versa, topsie turvie, histeron, proteron—The Chimes go backward, the World runs backward, the Age backslides, and all things turn backward.

I perceive you are an Ignoramus, a very Whiggish; wilful Ignoramus, that would change the Times as well as alter the Laws—You are a mear Stat pro ratione voluntas. All this grumbl­ing over the Gizzard is because the Westminster Boys burnt—in Effigie: is it not so? Come, come, they are not Queen Maries days yet, they are peaceable days still; 'tis but Iack Presbyter instead of Mr. Pope.

I say nothing to No body, but let me think, tho 'tis somewhat strange to see such a twerl-a­bout on Gun-powder Treason day, a clout Pope to be rescued from the Fire, and the Image of a noted Protestant Preacher to be burnt.

Yes with all the Ignoramus's and Ad­dresses for a Parliament to boot.

'Tis now as they would have it.

No it is not yet as they would have it. for you have the Loyal Protestants word for it, That as a great expression of Loyalty to His Maje­sty they (or Mr. Some body) wished the real Person of whom the Image represented and all his Followers, (that is, all Protestant Dissenters) had been burnt with him. So that you see it is not yet as they would have it.

'Tis pretty well towards—on my word, when that horrid Contrivance of the Gunpowder Plot is forgotten, or durst not be owned by the burning of a Pope.

One Nail drives out another; the new Presbyterian, Whiggish Plot, has driven out the Old and New Popish Plots, as if they had never [...]een.

That is because the one is real, the other imagined.

Which mean you?

Nay there I am Ignoramus, and satisfied in my own Conscience, and will not declare you my Reasons.

Why then you are a most wilful Ignora­mus, when Heraclitus has made it as plain as the Nose on your Face, that by putting none but known Dissenters upon the Pannels, is a most sufficient evi­dence of a Whiggish Plot as a man can wish or desire. Besides, to strengthen it, the Narrative of the Dr. of the Tower—

But what if I can't believe it?

Then I say you have an Ignoramus Con­science, and shall be called to account for it

In the mean time I'll keep the [...] till we are out of the Wood.

Mr. Ignoramus is about to bring you out of it, if you will have patience Heraclitus says.

Patience! 'tis the chiefest vertue that has been exercised of late. O blessed Patience!

Now are you praying backwards; there is no understanding Some body, he speaks one thing and means another.

Don't take me for a Iesuite or a Tory.

But I take you to be a Man in a Cloke.

What mean you? the Loyal Protestant's Holder-forth, so like Dr. Glanvil's Devil? then you take me for a damn'd Whig?

No Cousen, I must observe to you a little better than so, for the great Oracle of the Na­tion has pronounc'd it, that some Whigs may be sav'd.

Why this is the greatest Proof that he ever gave that he is no Papist; for the Papists hold, That no Hereticks can be saved, and that all who are not of their Church are HERETICKS: But if he has said a Whig may be saved, infallibly he is no Papist.

But mark you my Friend, 'tis only a Christian Whig that can be saved, and such Whigs may make this Nation the happiest People on the face of the Earth, they are common blessings, and to their power do good to all men.

I'm glad to hear it with all my heart; and why is this Man so bitter against the Whigs then? since there may be many Hundreds, if not Thousands of such Christian Whigs, that are Dissenters in the Nation; good, just, holy, pious, conscientious, charitable Whigs, that meddle not with the Government, give no embroil, or trou­ble [Page] to it, but walk according to the true tender­ness of their Opinion; and yet if I am not mi­staken, he has in other places said, there could be none of the Dissenters good, no not one.

He speaks only against factious, unchristi­an Whigs.

Faction has no part in Religion; but let him not under that Notion, draw in and com­prehend all Men that dissent from the Church of England, as he has too often done. Let him rail against the Factious, as much as he pleases; they may be on the one hand, as well as the o­ther; but he has endeavoured by that means, to shoulder out all Protestant Dissenters, under the Titles of Fanaticks and Whigs, however the evil Spirit came to be allay'd at this time.

He had spent much of his Gall before, and his Cholodock Vessels were empty.

But they will soon fill again, for Choller is the predominate humor of his Constitution, and you shall hear him shortly as hot as ever a­gainst Dissenters, and make them as very Devils and Hobgoblings as his Pen can paint them.

I think you are a Witch, for the very next appearance he makes, he's at his old Vomit, Choller and Gall:—Whiggish Murthers and Massacres; Whiggish Blasphemy and Treasons; Whiggish Plots and Rebellions; he spends like Thunder on the old scent.

Don't you know the reason of that? He has told you himself, That he must needs go whom the Devil drives.

There he calls the Parliament, or the Commons at least, Devils by craft; they are all of them very Belphegors to him, and will send him again into the Netherlands. But 'tis you Mr. Dissenting Some body that by assuming the appella­tion of Protestant, has brought the dignity of that Profession into Contempt.

Or rather, have not the Tories and Tanti­vies of your Acquaintance, brought a scandal and suspicion upon many of the Church of Eng­land, by their strange Methods of justifying them, and condemning all Protestants in the World besides?

Be advised, and leave Luther, think on the name no more, there is no such denomination in Scripture; let it be hence forward Christian, for I am almost ashamed of the other name now, since your taking it upon you, being a dissenting Whig, has so much abused it.

I am content friend, I like the Name well; but tell me, mayn't I be still a dissenting Christi­an, or a Christian Dissenter? and will not that render me then to a Tory or a Papist, lyable to be compared with a Mahometan, as most religi­ously is observed by the Observator?

Why, to tell you truly, if you will be a Dissenting Christian, according to the Tory Creed, you shall be no more than a Turk or a Iew, nor so much neither; but look you, if you will live in submission to your Superiours, the Pope and his Priests, and be so charitable as to believe all for Gospel, what some will tell you, then you may own the Name, but to take up the Name of Pro­estant (as the Whigs do) to steal Horses only, or to take up money upon Credit, is a plous fraud that the Church of Rome itself has not been hold enough to venture upon.

How tender of the Church of Romes Reputation are you grown! Good Christians all, that seem what they are. True haters of Hereticks, and all sorts of Prote­stants! But since we are not to be called Protestants, and that Dissenting Christians implys the same thing, what Name shall we have?

As for that, your Godfathers the Observator and Heraclitus have given you Names sufficient, as Fanaticks, Whigs, Traytors, Rebels, Villains, and many other such like most Christian Appellations, to distinguish you from the Romish Church: But we will allow you to be a Dissenting Protestant, or a Dissenting Christian; but by no means a Protestant Dissenter, or a Protesting Christian.

What Fiddling is this upon words! It jingles like a tinkling Cymbal, with a noise without Musick.

Something like Le Strang's Notes upon Colledg.

I see you are about to speak against the Govern­ment, therefore I'll leave you; for I fear 'tis to draw me in with your new Irish [...]way of Dialoguising: To speak against L. S. or any of his pious words, is to speak against both Religion, Law, King, Court, Council, and all that, &c.

Nay Sir, He's more than all that I'll assure you, but as to his Notes upon Colledg, I have nothing more to ob­serve to you, but that he begins well to his Reader. It is not the part of a Christian, nor indeed of a man (except himself) to insult upon the miserable, either in their Memorys, or in their Persons, besides that the Criminal here in Question, has already satisfied Publique Iustice, &c.

Then comes a Yet this doth not hinder but that a man may, according to his Talent, honestly satisfie this Mo­rality, by endeavouring to say as much ill of an Executed Dissenter, as he can; and that notwithstanding all his knowledge in Heathenish and Christian Morals, for the Cause, and something Else sake, he may honestly be per­mitted to rake in the Ashes of the Dead, disturb their Memory, fling Dung on their Words, Execute them over again, play a second Ketch's part, and dissect their bow­els, draw out, with twisting inferences their words, shew their thoughts, expound their meanings, and let no part of their Quarters rest in quiet.

But to leave this stuff, what say you to Heraclitus's last Ballad, of The Whigs Save-all.

I don't care if I give you another, 'tis called:

Numb. 3. A New DIALOGUE BETWEEN Somebody & Nobody. OR THE Observator and Heraclitus OBSERVED.

WHat in a brown study? what ha' you there, Heraclitus railing against the No Protestant Plot? a most wicked Libel, which, like the Shams, begets another.

I am laughing to see the Fellow mumble a company of Pebbles, taking them to be Nuts; he thinks to crack them, and breaks the stumps in his Mouth: Is not Swinger a kin to you?

He is one of the Some-bodys I assure you, but which of them I cannot tell you: But I won­der he could not be met with in the Protestant Banio.

He is acquainted indeed with the Rub­bers, tho they are a numerous Corporation, ever since they have rub'd the Popish Plot out of sight. They have rub'd a Iesuite into a Presbyter.

Yes, they would feign rub out the May­ors Sign of Sir Ed. Godfrey too, that offends the Rubbers.

But they will never be able to rub the stain out of the Peoples Memorie, let them rub their hearts out.

There are some who think to do it with the Brish of Scandalum Magnatum.

That's nothing to the rubbing of one man into two: There's a Miracle for you.

Not so great neither, as the Tory Rub­bers have performed, who have rub'd 6 or 7 Traytors into Saints. Come Sir, they know how to rub and Let too, as well as the best Fana­tical Rubbers of them all.

If you begin to make Comparisons I'll leave you; you are as spiteful as Heraclitus, and as malicious as the Observator.

And have they not reason to be so, when the Whigs present their Papers for a Neusance?

And much they care for it; for they are still ready to present the Whigs with 2 or 3 sheets of Bumfodder to rub their—

You remember the Observator says, things must be done decently and in order.

And I remember too, that that Text made an honest man lose his Dinner.

That's a mistake, it was not the Text, but the ill handling that Text made the honest man lose his Dinner.

That Observator is an insulting fellow o­ver the dead, Observe his Notes and his Sayings.

'Tis but only to inform the living, and to disabuse the People.

Good Man! I will put you one Query. Why this Gentleman never wrote Notes on the Five Iesuites, who said they dy'd innocent? nor by his con­vincing way of arguing, informed the Living, or disabused the Common People, too many of whom were apt to believe the dying words of such holy men?

Because he thought them better Christi­ans than those he writes against: But let me ask you one Question, what were you studying on?

To English a little more than a line of Horace, in the Front of Heraclitus, Numb. 43.

What need you trouble your self, he has done it for you?

Even as the Papists interpret Scripture: He has made the Whigs of Ancient standing: But since Horace was a Roman, I think it may be better apply'd to his People, who pray to such Saints, and then I thought ‘—pulchra Laverna Da mihi fallere, da justum, sanctumque videri.’ might say

This interpretation will be as well lik'd as Captain Wilkinson's Information.

Or as the Bonfires t'other night thorough out London, I wonder the Observator and Hera­clitus did not piss them out.

They ran away at the Shout of the Peo­ple upon the pronouncing Ignoramus: that is a terrible word, and sounds like Thunder in their ears. But let 'em go, betwixt you and me, the Little great Lord I am affraid is no great States-Man, but a Fool.

Why so?

Because he did so openly and plainly dis­cover his Mind, consult and conspire the most horrid Treason he is charged with, and was in­dicted for, with such kind of Men, Papists, Turn­coats, Profligated Wretches, that could stand him in no stead, in those great designs of over­throwing a Kingdom, with so many, so openly, without binding to secrecy, with Oaths and Sa­craments; [Page] and to be so familiar and intimate with such persons, below his Quality, as to o­pen his Bosom and Secrets; and indeed, to be so great a Fool or Mad-Man, to trust his Life, his Estate, the Honour of his Family in such Hands. He has clearly lost my Opinion for a Politician.

This was not considered before hand. Look you, these Fellows were Doves; harmless Pi­geons, that could do no hurt with down-right Swearing, ask honest Heraclitus else; who in his impudent front of Numb. 44. puts down,

Harmless Turtles!

You are very Poetical methinks. But Sir, Treason is Treason, let me tell you, not on­ly overt Acts according to the Statute of 25th. of Ed. 3d. but Treasonable Words are Treason, according to that of 13 Car. 2. being proved by two credible and substantial Witnesses.

A Man had need have a care whom he converses with, and keep a Journal of his words, as well as Actions; but I think it would do well, that this whifling Sin of Perjury were made death by the Law, especially in such cases, where the Juror, by a false Oath, shall attempt to take away the life of another.

That's not our business: Let our wise Legislators in Parliament think of that: But I hope you do not charge any of the King's Wit­nesses.

Not I; but I hope a Grand Iury may think of their Credibility, since he that swears Trea­son against another, by the Statute, ought to be a Credible Witness.

There is another Reason given for the Iuries finding the Bill Ignoramus.

Because the Indictment was not put in ac­cording to the Time limited in the Statute. Then you see the Gentlemen had more reasons than one.

But Somebody thinks they had no more Reason than an Horse.

Don't pretend to know my Thoughts: Sir, this is a Tory trick; when Treason is spoke to Nobody, to put it upon Somebody; but if Any­body thinks ill of the Grand Juries Ignoramus, they are the Papists and Heraclitus, for he tells you plainly, arraigning the Justice and Consci­ences of the Grand Iury, when the Court did not, Numb. 44. That their Ignoramus Declarati­tion convinced not, nor contributed any thing to­wards the Conviction of any sober Man, from the suspicions he had before.

But he would have a Man Try'd right or wrong by his Peers.

Yes, and have his Life put in jeopardy before there is a just occasion for it▪ but since the Law is so tender of an English-mens life, as to ordain two Iuries, first to pass upon him before he shall forfeit it; I know not by what Authority Heraclitus would have this Old Law broke, to bring a Man upon his Tryal for his Life by his Peers, and not to permit the Grand Iury of his Country, (made up usually of the most knowing, honest and able Men of the Country) to judg whether there is any such occasion, of putting a Mans Life in jeopardy; in which case they are certainly Judges.

Ay, but if a certain number of Men be disposed or ordained, to understand a matter one way, be of this Opinion; and a greater number of Men, as honest and considerable, &c. determine another way, the minds of Men will remain in oequilibrio, till true Arguments put a force upon them.

Mayn't I here play the Observator, and pick out the sence of these words?

You may save your self the labour, for Heraclitus tells you himself the meaning, by his Story of his Sheep proved Hogs: though I think the Parallel does not hold▪ for in this case, the Irish drovers Hogs are proved Sheep.

He that villifies Parliaments, may well be permitt­ed to villifie Grand Iuries; and to make a company of Loyal Gentlemen Ramuses, to give false Judgment, con­trary to their knowledge, to makes Hogs Sheep.

'Tis but a Jest Sir, and a Story, take no notice of it.

Yet, cut my Throat and defame me, with a Jest and a Story, or a Lye, or any thing such as Thompson in Numb. 82. of his Loyal Intelligence, who says, Ignoramus was no sooner named, but a general Hiss went through­out the Court.

O Sir, he may say any thing, he may——Cum Privilegio.

With the same Authority, as the Observator rails.

He hath been very well employed in making com­parisons.

Between the Turks and the Whigs Cruelties; that is his way, speak either against his beloved Pope or Turk, and he presently flaps you i'th▪ mouth with a Whig; he has him for all Comparisons, and then he still makes him the worst.

'Tis his charity for Protestants, that they may not be overlay'd by the Plot▪ teeming Monstrous Presbyteri­an Discipline, that has 20000 Plots in its Belly, and con­tinually spawning them from Generation to Generation, Numb. 72. Plots against God, the King, the Liberties of the People, and the freedom of Humane Society and of Mankind.

Great Charges: but now, will not he cry out, if his black Bill be found Ignoramus, and that he has spite, malice, revenge, interest, and no Truth or Justice in his Indictment against the Whigs or Protestants▪ (I know not how to distinguish 'em) or, to comprehend them in his own words, Dissenters; These are the Persons he spends half a side against, to prove them Plotters, Traytors, Re­bels and Conspirators, with as little Reason as Honesty.

You must not question the Oracle, he is a kind of a Dictator, and can direct the State to destroy Private Meet­ings, and tells them, 'tis necessary, and that the Government cannot be safe without it.

I wonder it has then bin thus long safe and quiet. with­out trouble or interruption, till the Popish Plotters began to disturb it; and till the barking Towzers and the chatte­ring Heraclitus's made such a confused din, that no body could be heard but themselves; big with Exclamations a­gainst such as speak or act against Popery.

Well Sir, have a care I advise you, how you speak a­gainst the Observator, lest he bring you to have your nose rub'd at his Cats Inquisition Office: he'll prove as good a Whipper as ever Bonner was: he is to be Beadle-general to claw off the Heretick Protestants.

That's putting the Laws in execution, he me [...]ns the bloudy ones of Q. Mary, but we have a better Governour & one who has so much Piety as not to be mov'd by such In­stigators, and that understands not the necessity of any such rigor, as he would infer▪ having by experience found the contrary. Let Offenders suffer, but let not the Innocent be oppressed for fear they should offend,

Numb. 4. A New DIALOGUE BETWEEN Somebody & Nobody. OR THE Observator and Heraclitus OBSERVED.

WELL How go squares?

Things do not go square, the Tories are all in a rage. Towzer barks, the Monkey chatters, and the Animals are running mad.

Let them be worm'd, is it such hot weath­er at Christmass?

The Bonfires t'other day so heated their Brains, they never were cold since; and besides, such News comes out of the Country, that it is as bad to 'em as Addresses or Petitions for a Parliament.

O that is for the rejoycing for Tonys re­lease.

I wonder so many should be concern'd for that little Man.

'Tis not for the Man, but the Protestant Cause, which was struck at in him, makes all Loyal Hearts rejoyce, that he is found innocent▪ for Thousands that wis [...] him well, and that Inno­cency might never suffer under contrivances, nor the Protestant Cause undermined by the Ie­suitical Shams, would be as ready to accuse him, did they believe him a Traytor or a Rebel, or knew that he intended any harm to His Majesty or his Government.

Heraclitus, the Observator, and a thousand more, are not of your mind Sir.

'Tis their business to make the World be­lieve otherwise. He must rise early that has every bodys good word. And I think there is a Wo to him, whom every body speaks well of. I should not much care for the good word of a Tory, for he will make a Saint of Coleman▪ and a Devil of a­ny, that, for the good of his Country, opposes his wicked Devices. 'Tis the fate of a Wise Man to be suspected, and let him be never so honest, he may be traduced.

Prethe leave thy sentences, here's stuff in­deed, fit for a Pulpit. Suspected! won't you be­lieve the New Song of Ignoramus, that makes your Wise Man a greater Traytor than Coleman?

I did not hear it.

Are not these a company of Villains, that dare thus to asperse so many Men of known Loyalty? The time may come the E. of S. may have his Action of Scandalum Magnatum, as well as the E. of D. but what say our Pamphle­teers?

Heraclitus bites his Nails and his fingers ends for Madness: He is hardly yet out of his Fit, for he gnaws▪ the Latine of his own Indict­ment most furiously, and crys, if the Iu [...]y be Loyal and Honest, they must find him not guil­ty.

He has opened his Case most learnedly, and made very Oafes of the Indicters: But has he heard yet of the Protestant Observator, how 'scapes he with him?

O Sir, he took him to be Comus and Mo­mus revived.

Hard words: what was that Comus and Momus?

It was a Iest and Earnest, that for some time brish'd the Cobwebs from his back with a Crabstick. But he is cruel mad at little Harry and his Popish Latine, that troubles him too▪ that he is not able to make Converts.

He lacks some of his Popish Miracles, that can convert all Protestants to Hereticks, Tray­tors and Rebels.

They have ill luck, their new Powder-Plot against the Prince of Orange, or the Earl of St. Paul, or both, is discovered: and now are they angry with God Almighty for preventing it.

God bless His Majesty from this sort of People, who on every hand thus wickedly en­deavour the overthrow of all honest Protestants. What is that Earl of St. Paul?

He is an Hugonite, for which he was force­ed some time since, to leave his Native Coun­try, his Life being obnoxious to the French To­ries, where he had no hope of benefit of a Grand Iury.

O happy England! where great Men are not suffered to be Tyrants, nor the poor op­pressed; where the Laws are open, the King just, and Iurors not over-awed by Greatness. [Page] But what says the Tories Printer?

I hear he is preferred to attend on the Dutchess of P. into France. But did you see Le'Strange's Godly Sayings?

No; and yet I see most things that come out, and they are so many I am fain to keep a Catalogue of them.

They are Printed in the 76 Observator, who justifies him, and by these notable Sayings of his, proves his quarrel, is not to the dissent, but to the Sedition.

O wonderful! I thought he had been endeavouring by some thousands of railing Paragraphs, to be pick'd up through his Writings, to prove the dissent, a Sedition: And I am sure, more than an hundred times, he calls the Dissenters not only Seditious, but Villains, Traytors and Plotters. What are Presbyterians but Dissenters, and Presbytery but a Dissent from the Church of England in some particulars of Church Government? and yet this Presbytery he tells you, Numb. 72. Is a Monster with 20000 Plots in the Belly of it, spawning them from Genera­tion to Generation: Plots against the King, People and all Mankind; and yet he quarrels not with the dissent, Good-Man! but when he makes the Dis­sent, to be all one with the Sedition, I cannot see into his distinction: But what are his Say­ings in their behalf?

He says, Numb. 69. That Dr. Gouge (though a Dissenter) was acommon Blessing, and did good to all Men, to the atmost of his power: And Num. 74. That at least 9 parts in 10, through­out the whole Party of Dissenters; are People of good Intentions, and would never joyn in a Rebtllion. And now you have the Iliades in a Nut-shell.

Are these all a little, very little Book of Good and Godly Sayings of Mr. Le'Strange's; and these he thinks shall attone, for his Volum­inous, Railing Rhapsodies against Dissenters. But I cannot but admire at this second part of his Sayings, That 9 parts of 10 thorough out the whole Party of Dissenters, are People of good In­tentions, and would never joyn in a Rebellion. Tho this be a very great truth, yet methinks, 'tis very strange out of his black Mouth. But does not this argue the Man of a great deal of Im­pudence and Wickedness, to condemn all Dissen­ters from the Church of England for Rebels, Factious and Seditious Bou [...]efues, when (you see) he knows in his Conscience, 9 parts of 10 are otherwise? God would have spared Sodom could he have found but Ten Righteous Persons in it, but Le'Strange will not spare the Dissenters, but would destroy them, as he has endeavour­ed to do their Reputation, though he believes but a Tenth part of them Wicked or Rebelli­ous.

The Wind is veering about; 'tis time to record his good Sayings. Towzer is convert­ed into a Spaniel.

No, you mistake the Man, he is the same still: he can as soon live without eating, as without railing; for in Numb. 77. the Strange Observator, falls to his Old Vomit, and under the Notion of enumerating all the flagitious Crimes of a company of Traytors and Villains, disowned by all but themselves, brands the 9 parts of the 10 honest Dissenters, with their Mark; and what ever any one says in the justi­fication of the honest Dissonters, he presently crys out, So said, so did, their Predecessors with His Late Majesty.

He has a good Memory: but I thought the Act of Oblivion, had been a Statute, that was not thus to be broken.

What cares a Tory for Laws or Statutes, so he may gain his Point, that is, making Pro­testant Dissenters odious: He forgets His Royal Majesties most Gracious Declaration from Bre­da (which His Majesty hath made good, and Confirmed by Act of Parliament) in which he expresly says; Let all Our Subjects, how faulty soever, rely upon the Word of a King, solemnly given by this present Declaration, that no Crime whatsoever, Committed against Us, or Our Royal Father, before the Publication of this, shall ever rise in Iudgment, or be brought in question a­gainst any of them, to the least indamagement of them, either in their Lives, Liberties or Estates, or, as far forth as lyes in our power, so much as to the prejudice of their Reputations, or Mark of Distinction from the rest of Our best Subjects: We Desiring and Ordaining, That henceforth all No [...]es of Discord, Separation and Difference of Parties, be utterly abolished among all Our Subjects, &c. And a little after he says—We do declare a Liberty to tender Consciences, and that no Man shall be Disquieted or called in question for Diffe­rence of Opinion in Matters of Religion, which do not disturb the Peace of the Kingdom. Upon which I shall only make one or two Queries.

• I. Whether the Observator, in making distin­ctions, and in his Dayly or Weekly abusing the Dissenting Protestants, and calling them by so many evil names, and especially by rakeing up all the most horrid Crimes of a Select Party, and throwing them upon the Presbyterians, and the whole body of Dissenters, who live peace­ably, and under the Protection of the King's Laws, be not an acting quite contrary to the mind of His Majesty in this Declaration, and to the great disturbance of His Majesties Sub­jects?
• II. Whether the Observator does not act a­gainst his own Conscience, in endeavouring to make the whole body of Dissenters to seem Factious and Rebellious, and to render them Odious and Formidable to His Majesty, and to the rest of His Majesties Leige Subjects, when he has declared that Nine Parts of Ten of them, he believes to be honest and peace­able?
• III. Whether after this, any ought to be­lieve, that this Observator writes for the Ho­nour of his King, or in the behalf of the Church, or that rather, notwithstanding his Protestations to the contrary, we ought not to think him the hireling of the Popish Facti­on in Masquerade?

Numb. 5. A New DIALOGUE BETWEEN Somebody & Nobody. OR THE Observator and Heraclitus OBSERVED.

STand off; keep your distance.

What's the matter now? are you afraid of Heraclitus's Pocket Flailes?

Ay marry am I: for according to his cha­racter; a True Protestant in the Modern sence, or weak disputants, furnish themselves with those knock-down Arguments, that none can withstand them.

I see you are still troubled with the Pro­ceedings of the Old Baily: will you never forget them?

Forget them! no not so soon: that will eternally vex the Torys; you know they are men of Memory, they will remember things long before they had a being.

They are full of Revenge and Malice too, if like Heraclitus; who tells you Numb. 46. That those Hat Wavers in the Old Baily don't deserve to wear their Heads.

'Tis well he is not a Law-Maker, for then you and a great many more had been hang'd be­fore now: There be Tory Necklaces, which are more fatal than Protestant Flailes.

Yes they have Irish Oaths too would de­cently do the Jobb, if Heraclitus or the worship­ful Observator were of the Iury.

They are two Weekly Enemies; will you never leave pelting at them?

Not till they leave lying and sland'ring.

And that I'll assure you they cannot do, till they leave scribling. But they are Hellishly angry with Pug, for averring That Iuries are judges of a Witnesses credibility.

Ay, and because he cannot confute him with Arguments, would reach him with a pock­et Flail if he could. He calls laying down the very words of the Statute, a wresting it.

But he wrests it, to say, Iurys are Judges of the Witnesses Credibility, when the L C I tells you to the contrary.

Would Her. have them to be at once Men without Sence and Reason. But since my L C I says to the Iury, the Witnesses are intended pri­mâ facie credible, unless you of your own know­ledge know the contrary; the Iury may judg then by their own knowledge of the Witnesses Credibility; and then no doubt the Iury may very well justifie their Ignoramus.

But Mr. Observator Numb. 77. proves them credible Witnesses, and makes it an Arraign­ment of a Parliament to believe the contrary; since Mr. Dugdale was particularly recommend­ed by the House of Commons, Novemb. 2. 1680. to His Majesty, to take him into His Royal Care, &c. and so likewise Mr. Turbervile, and Mr. Iohn Macnamarra.

What an Argument is here! Because they once were credible Witnesses, therefore there is no possibility for them afterwards to become otherwise. Because the Weather Dragon on Bow sometimes turned his Snout towards the Tower, therefore he can never after that turn it to­wards Westminster. Because there was once a time Mr. D. had not a Clap, therefore Mr. D. af­terwards cannot get a Clap to spoil his Evidence. Because once upon a time there was a Poet that wrote an Elegy on the Usurper O. C. therefore the same Poet cannot prove Loyal, and write Absolon and Achitophel; or because one fidled once to Cromwel, the said man afterwards cannot turn Tory and Observator. Tempora mutantur—And because some persons at some time Swear truly and sincerely, therefore the same persons may not be tamper'd with and prevail'd upon at some other time to be Perjur'd. Certainly the Learned Observator would have all men to be as much out of their Sences, as he is out in his Ar­guments, to draw Conclusions, that they who will not believe these men for credible Wit­nesses, whom the Parliament once represented for such, arraign the Parliament. Sure he thinks all the world fools to be thus ridiculously im­pos'd upon.

Nay, 'tis a meer Popish Design this of un­crediting the Witnesses; for under the colour of asserting the innocency of Protestants (which the Observator will not believe) they do all that is possi­ble to advantage the cause, and to puzzle the disco­very of the Papists. Numb. 77.

How zealous is this good man for the dis­covery of the Popish Plot! and what care he takes it may not be stifled by the innocency of the Protestants; according to his Rule, the best way to find out the Popish Plot, is to swear a Presbyte­rian Plot upon the Government and Le'Strange.

Her▪ tells you, Num. 46. Ingratitude and dul­ness will be for ever Characteristicks of Whiggism. Ingrateful the Whigs are; not to believe the [Page] Witnesses that swore against the Papists; and dull that will not understand the Observators Arguments to prove them credible.

If Ingratitude and Dulness be the Whigs cha­racter; Lying and Perjury seems to be as great­marks of Torism. If the Tories have all the Wit, let the Whigs be content with their dul honesty, so they have Sence enough to defend themselves from their adversaries rage and malice.

The Observator is a most prying man, dili­gent in his Vocation; he'll meet with you for it.

Not in Moor-fields, nor at Madam Creswels. He is a diligent Observator indeed: Dick Iane­way cannot tell the world in his Intelligence, of a Bawds being Convicted, but he makes his Ob­servations upon it, and chews it as if he lov'd Bawdry▪ and still remembers his old haunts, and what he could have done: Mark some more of Roger's Pious Sayings, or Apothegms: 'Tis an un­known deal of mony that good Woman has got by the way of True Protestant Concupiscence. Numb. 78. What a sweet breath he has! she was no Bawd then for a Tory. Mark his next Godly Sentence, Moor-fields stands in so pleasant an Air, and there's the finest walk for Meditation, from a Wench to a Sacrament: ibid. You may perceive what Medi­tations this man used to have, he speaks so feel­ingly.

He cares not what he says against the Whigs; he would have no body talk baudy, jeer, nor play the fool or Buffoon but himself.

I know he complains foully, Num. 78. What a thing it is to see one Gospelling it in the Pulpit one day and Buffooning it in a Comus and Momus a­nother. To see the same person acting Christ upon his Throne to his Congregation in a Conventicle, and Mimic on the Stage to the Multitude, in a Libellous Courant. To see a Teacher of the Gentiles go recking from the Stews to the Holy Table, and at the same time declaiming against Sensuality and Prophane­ness. Are not these good and Pious Sayings?

It would do well to collect them for the assentors sayings: but where's the hurt of all this?

None at all; But he secretly would wound the Dissenting Ministers, as guilty of this; some of which he supposes write the Protestant Obser­vator, and the Courant. But we know the man is no Witch, he may be mistaken in his blind Ob­servations, as well as his friend Gadbury in the Stars, and in his Prognosticks; though he brags they can hardly piss but he knows it, and has the History of all their Haunts, Practices, Consults, and all the little accidents, 78.

Nay he is down-right I assure you, and loves to speak plain.

He speaks plain enough, but it would be well if he spoke truth too: but he is for plain downright lying and accusing. They (says he, Numb. 78. meaning the Dissenters) have already assassinated one Protestant Prince, and involved 3 Kingdoms in Bloud, Sacriledge and Confusion; and they are now contriving the same over again, by a more audacious and Diabolical Association. This is an high Charge.

But he tells you, that they are Hypocrites, neither Protestants nor Papists, that take upon them the name of Protestants, and brand all the Sons and Servants of the Government (such as himself) for Papists. These are the only men he speaks against, that have made an Association and Confederacy.

And let him in Gods Name: but he should do more than write or speak against such, for he should bring them forth, and shew their particu­lar persons to the world, that Justice might be done on them, and not by his Caterwauling, en­deavour to make us believe all the Dissenters are such kind of persons, and enter'd into an Hellish Plot, and Association against the Go­vernment.

If you would have let him alone, he would have shewn you the particular persons one by one: they say Mr. Somebody has a list of them▪ but the Ignoramus Iurys spoyl'd the sport; and the folly of the Tories in overdoing, has quite undone the Presbyterian Plot. But do you think, that he who will translate out of French, an Apo­logy for the Protestants, and justifie their depar­ture from the Church of Rome, will be so wicked to undermine them, and make them guilty of Plots, when innocent?

He can do more than that, when in his Con­science he believes no such thing.

The Observator says, Numb. 79. There is no Protestant Plot▪ but indeed that there is a Phanatic Plot; but they are no Protestants no more than a Turk, who puts forth English Colours is a Christian.

But who are these he calls Phanatics? He tells you in several places, they are the Dissen­ters, and the Protestants are only those of the Church of England▪ so that 'tis clear, all Dissen­ters are Plotters against the Government, false Christians, or Hereticks, and so according to the Tory Principle, may be lawfully knockt on the Head, or swore out of their Lives, or any way put out of the way.

That is, Because their Religion is a mass of Errors wrapt up under one denomination, a medly of Opinions united in a Conspiracy, and divided in Truth, Numb. 79.

Yes, We know what he says of them well enough, and that he makes them the Gunpow­der of the State; but they are Trains of his own laying, and which he would set fire too, if he could, and were these Dissenters such persons he has represented them to be, he had done it long since.

I confess he cares not for the Damn'd Vertue Patience. Obs. 80.

O that Medicine for a Mad Dog: A virtue in Religion, but not in State, ibid. He hates Pa­tience on either hand, that Vertue in the Whigs troubles him, because they won't run horn mad at his luteing; and in the State, because it nips not the Phanaticks in the bud; that is, hang up all that take the liberty of contradicting the State Scavengers.

I find this Patience has done much mis­chief.

It has disappointed the Tantaras, and makes them blow Sedition so long, till they are almost weary.