THE FIRST SCOVTS DISCOVERY.
I Came to Dover in a Flemish Botom, where (after a dayes rest) I went to see the Castle, but I was forced to faine my self one of Madam Nurses kindred, & spoke nothing but french, or else I had not been admitted.
This Castle is called the Key of the Land, but its growne rusty for want of exercise, for most of the Ordnance are dismounted, their carriages standing one halfe in the ground, and the other out; here lay one wheele, and there lay another: In the Easterne out-worke lay one Peece all over-grown with grasse, and hard by that lay another along by the wall on two Logs of Tymber; I wondred to see such a confusion in so eminent a place; but I was told that the last great wind was the cause [Page 2] thereof; and if the Lieutenant were once able to walke round the wals to see it, all would bee made good and mended; but till then it must stand as it doth: Their Lord is at London to be cured of the Gout, the Deputy Lieutenant was at Downs seeing the Kings ships, and most of the men were at bowles on the greene Beach: I came downe to the Towne, and left the Castle with a Memento to look to it selfe, lest the French doe it for them; this I observed, that if the French had beene as provident as the Dutch, to have seated themselves in Dover, then the most Christian King might have had this Castle at his Command, and so might have beene Master of the narrow Seas, and have had Calice and Dover for two Bul-workes, and Block-houses, and so kept the Dunkirke from domineering on the seas. All the newes I could learne here, was that sixe of the Kings ships lay ready for a Convoy of sixtie Vessels with provision for Dunkirke.
The next day I came to Canterbury, where I went to view the glasse windowes, and see Sir Thomas a Beckets Tombe, to which the people had prayed so often, as they had made two holes in the stones with their knees: the next day being sunday I went to heare a Sermon where (they said) the Archbishop of St. Andrewes was to preach, I was in amaze to see him there; but the noyse of the Organs soone put mee out of my dumps. Now (thought I) hee is in his Kingdome, for hee hath danced a long time after this musicke: when service was done; I thought to have heard him tell the [Page 3] people some newes out of Scotland, but the old Carle spake not one word thereof. The next morning I tooke a Charcoale, and drew on the white wal in the Church Porch these three words, (Archi: Cant: Auli) and so departed out of the town, lest I should have beene apprehended for the Author of it: All the newes that I could learne in the Towne, was that the Archbishops Grace was too great to dwell amongst them, that hee loved Croyden, better then Christ-Church. That hee had some Engineers to see if they could remove Christchurch to Croydon by land, or to Lambeth by water, for hee meant it should stoope to him, and not hee to it: But lest it should fall to bee forfeited; for non Residency he hath put the other Archbishop there for his Deputy.
As I came through Kent, I saw much mustering, and preparing of men and Armes to send into Scotland: This had almost made a mutinie amongst them; some said it was done purposely to weaken the Country, others said it was an il example for other ages: And an old 88. Captaine said they might well retaine the name of Kentish Long-tayles, but to be called any more men of Kent, they could not clayme it.
As I came a long, I saw the Kings Store-house at Chatham, and some of the Kings ships which are of such bignesse, as a small ship may be built, ere they can be rigged, and brought to the sea to doe any service. When I came to Gravesend, I saw the great Fleet ryding in the Hope, ready to carry the [Page 4] Marquesse and his men for Scotland: But there fell out a foule fray betweene the Parson of the Parish, and the Pursers, for demanding double duties, for burying such souldiers as dyed on shipboard. On the way towards London, I saw Stone-church which was burnt downe with thunder last winter: And Erith, Micham, and many other Churches (for all their high Altars) did not scape scot free.
The next Sunday I went to Lambeth to heare a Sermon, and see what forme of worship was used there; when I came, I was in hope to have seen the little good man of Lambeth there, but I saw no such man in all the Kirke; for I could have kend him by his white sleeves from all the men there: but I well wot, there hee was not. I speerd for him, and some said, he was either at White-hall or Somerset house, others said that he was at home choosing of a new Church-warden, because the old one had presented him for not comming to Kirk these 7. yeares. After preaching was past, I went up the River side to see Guy Faux his Mannor house, the fatallest house, that ever was built; for there was the plot laid, and powder provided for blowing up the Prince and Peers of the Realme, in the Parliament house by the Papists conspiracie. There was the Leather Ordnance invented, there was the white soape and blew starch first made, there was the most part of the projects and Monopolies hatched, which have so much troubled the whole Kingdome. There was a new rare invention, lately set on foot for blowing up of Castles and Forts, but for a conclusion [Page 5] it was first blowne up it selfe: And now an Engineere hath begged it of the King, and hath new built it, for which hee hath promised to blow up all the Ilands in the Frith in Scotland, that the Kings ships may have sea-roome to besiege Leeth: from thence I came crosse the River, where a Dutchesse like a Dive-dapper was a swimming, but the water was so cold, as it made all her body shiver, and put her in sick a fit of a feaver, as no Physician could cure her, but a German. On the Sunday before Easter I went to St. Margarets anent the Abbey, where the Minister mistooke himselfe, and instead of a Prayer read a Preface, forbidding all people to begge at White-hall, for the King was gone to Yorke Welaway (thought I) now, I have mist a mandy, which I thought to have had, to have carried me againe home into Scotland. Well, I could hardly eate my dinner for griefe thereof: But a country man of mine would needs have me in the after-noone be Goffer to a Girle, where when I came the women fel to quarrel for the name; one would have it Maudlin, & another would have it Mary, now out upon't sayes another, we have too too many of that name already; pray let us have old Elizabeth again: by my soule says another, if this were spoken in Scotland, it would be counted reason wh [...]n I heard that, I stole away, and left them to look another Goffer: upon good Friday as I came through White-hall, a country man had me in to give me a dish of drink, and to shew me the dancing Barn, & then afterwards carried me to the Kings Quire to hear a me [...]s of matins, when I came there the people were al groveling on [Page 6] the ground as though they had bin picking pearles out of the pavement: Well, downe I was driven on my maribones amongst the rest, and about halfe an houre after they al stood up againe, turning their arses to the East, and their snouts to the West to heare an Anthem, which being done a tall slim Carle in a long Gowne made the people turne their faces to the East, where I spied a curious wrought Crucifix hanging over the high Altar, with two women kneeling to it, to teach the rest of the people their duties: Upon Easter day I went thither againe, and then the Crucifix was taken downe, and the Resurrection set up in the same place, the Musicke went so loud, and the old droaning dunces, and young fry of Quiristers made such a noyse as I could not heare, nor understand one word was spoken, and so came away for feare of deaffing: About a week after my Countrey-man would needs have mee goe thither againe, and then I saw in the same place over the Altar a fine old man riding on a bonny Nagge, hunting a wild Beast, many a long legge, and low courtesie was made to the man on horse-backe: I askt what hee was, and my Countrey-man told me, it was St. George, and they were all praying to him to make haste, for they had need of him in the North, when I saw him so ready on horse-back with his speare in his hand, and his spurs on his heels: Well St. George, thought, I, ride as fast as you can, I will be in Scotland before you, and so I departed, and left him to end his quarrell with the Beast hee had before him: When I was gone [Page 7] out of the Court, my Countrey-man told mee, I had some reason to be afraid. For St. George having formerly broke his Speare with the Spaniard, and rebated his sword at a foyle with the French; therefore hee had now his hands bound by the one, and his tongue by the other: And having taken a truce with them both, hee had vowed to be revenged on St. Andrew, whom hee threatens to turne into a Wind-will, where his Crosse shall serve for the sweapes: Alas, and woes me (quoth I) poore St. Andrew is so weary with carrying his Crosse on his back, and a Bishops Bonnet on his head, as hee will never be able to encounter this man, who being so bravely mounted, will run over him before he come at him. This made me so afraid, as I went home to supper for feare of fainting; the next morning I got up betimes, and went to the Exchange to meet our Intelligencer; when I came the newes was at an end: For their Packets were opened, and their Letters taken away, which made a mighty muttering amongst them, in so much as one of them in a mad humour said that they were quite disgrac't, and thereupon made these verses following.
London's disgrac't, Lincoln's displac't,
Yorke now hath the golden bagge,
The Clergies guift, the Papists thrift
Maintaines the English Flag:
[Page 8] The Clergies curse,
Rex minat mors, Ere Bishops be put downe:
The gaine is great, though farre unmeet,
A Myter for a Crowne.
THE INTELLIGENCERS owne Discovery.
AT my first comming to London, I heard little newes of any Scots grievances, but within a little while after, when I saw Burton, Bastwick, and Pryn promoted to the Pillory, for speaking against the power of the Prelates, then I began to smell a fox.
They rejoyced as much in their sufferings, as their Adversaries did in their sentences; but because they should not prate, nor talke to one another, as they did when they stood in the Pillory.
Therefore they were sent first into three severall Castles in three remoted counties, and afterwards removed to three severall Ilands, every one of them at their departure from the Pillory to their Prisons, made two verses.
Pryn.
Tryumphing I returne, my face discryes
Lauds scorching scars, Gods gratefull sacrifice.
Burton.
A painefull Pastor I have beene, my flock I truly fed,
And now in honour of Christs cause, my blood I freely shed.
[Page 17] Physician's for soule and body, and Lawyer for the State,
Bastmick.
All here now have lost their blood, to please a proud Prelate.
The next Terme after this, the Bishop of Lincolne came to his sentence in the Star-chamber, where hee received a sharpe sensure, but hee may thank himself for it, in keeping two prime places in his hands, when others want preferment. But hee stood too much upon his trumps, thinking that King James his Patents had beene now as good, as when hee had them: Alas good man, though hee be a great Scholler (not a better in the Kingdome) yet hee had forgot the little Mans Motto (Sic volo, sic Iubeo) The originall cause of this was never heard; but this I learned, that two flesh flyes having fed at his Table for a long time together, had purposely laid a traine to intrap him, and then they combined with one Kilvert (A Caniball) who having devoured his owne Master (Sir Iohn Bennet) undertooke to doe the like with him, and hath hunted him so hard, that the Tower is become his Tabernacle, where he is like to remain, unlesse hee will pull off his Miter, and give it for his Ransome.
Long hee had not laine there, ere he was roused up againe for a second course, pretending that hee had given a false exposition on the great Leviathan, (false Mediator) and the like: whereupon (through the meanes of a false Steward, a faithlesse Secretary, and a foolish Scribe) he was (Acteon-like) puld [Page 18] down with his own hounds, which he had fed at his trencher in his prosperity, but had now fallen upon himselfe in his adversity, yet his owne patience, and the peoples prayers may one day be a comfort to him.
That when the newes came first of the troubles in Scotland, Archie the Kings Foole was questioned for something against the Prelates, whom hee thought was the cause of it. For which hee had beene had up in the Star-chamber, but that the Fool told them hee would plead the priviledge of his Coat. For (quoth hee) if neither Foole nor wife man must scape this Court, I will be neither. But for all this Archie could not scape scot free, for hee was led to the Porters lodge, where (albeit hee found favour in his lash) yet he lost both his Coat and his place by it.
That about a weeke after I met Archie at the Abby all in black: Alas poore foole (thought I) hee mournes for his countrey; I askt him about his Coat, O quoth he, my Lord of Canterbury hath taken it from mee, because either he, or some of the Scots Bishops may have use for it themselves: But hee hath given me a black coat for it, to colour my knavery with, and now I may speake what I please (so it be not against the Prelates) for this Coat hath a farre greater Priviledge then the other had: when I heard him say so, albeit (thought I) a Fooles bolt is soone shot, yet perhaps hee may hit the marke: whereupon I went and bought me a canonicall Coat, and put my selfe into an Arminian [Page 19] habit, which hath kept mee freer from danger, then if I had beene all clad in buffe.
That about Christmas last, all the passages of your Assembly were presented to the King, and all the names of the Lords and others that had subscribed the Covenant, or consenting to the putting downe of the Prelates were given in: wherupon a Convocation of the Clergy of England, was once resolved to be called, and to have the matter disputed, but the Bishops were busie, and could not attend it, and advised that (ipso facto) you should be proclaymed Rebels, and all your Lands should be confiscate to the King, which made some of the Courtiers mouthes so water (in hopes of a Lordship) that they lookt as if they had beene troubled with the scurvie.
That about Candlemas the newes was nothing but warre, and that the King would goe in person into Scotland, and had promised to gratifie those that adventured with them, for cutting off the Covenanters: And therefore to make them the more contemptible to the English, Proclamation [...] made in all market Townes, and read in all Churches: That you were base fawning fellowes, and people of broken fortunes, and would faine repair your ruined estates, by the spoyles of the good subjects of England; which Proclamation (notwithstanding the faire and true declaration of your intentions) so animated many of them (as like Hogs in the wind) they ran on (but knew not whither) ro fight, (but knew not for what) hoping to be rewarded [Page 20] (but knew not when) and they may returne, but know not how.
That of late every man at London hath beene in his humours. The Courtiers were learning how to tosse tennis bals, instead of Bullets. The Captaines were preparing to see the tragedy of traytors, the Clergy were studying a Masque for a Myter; the Ministry were drawing the map of misery, the Iesuits were at wilie baguilie, and the Scots Bishops were at Boe peepe with the Kirke.
That one day I went to see the Tower, which is newly rapaired, there are forty new beds and lodgings provided for entertainment of the Scots traytors: well, let me advise yee to looke to your selves; for if ever you bee lodged there, the next newes after will bee your comming out to Tower-Hill, where either your heads must lop, or your Crags crack.
I came home by the custome House, where there was such an out-cry with Merchants, concerning their new Impositions: As it made the old Farmers [...] for a court Lord, and a citie Captaine to assist them, who came ruffling into their offices with such violence, as (for feare of Goring) it made al the Virginian Merchants to run away, and leave their Plantations. For Tobacco was growne so cheape, as the Kings customes came to more then the Merchants had for it. For it was taken by a worse name, and sold by the measure of Iacobs staffe, whereupon, when the old Pinder saw such shavers, come to share in his office, he gave over, and left [Page 21] the Dawes, to shift among the Rooks, which the common people seeing, they prayed that their Court Customer might dye drunke in his new Impositions of Wines, and the Crispe Citie Captaine might break as fast as doth his glasse beads.
Whilst I stayed at Custome-house, I heard a muttering of a red Deere Pye, full of gold going to the Nuns of Nancy, from the holy sisters in England, under colour of a peece of Venison sent to the Prince of Peymont from Catholico Mariano: But they said, a wilie Wayter had put his finger further into the Pye then was fitting, and after it was discovered it was husht up, no man can tell how.
Likewise, I heard that the Cardinall of Cordel [...] being cast away in crossing of a River, his hat came floating up to the custome House, where it was taken up for a miraculous monument, and carried to the Lord Treasurer for a wreck, who hath order to keepe it, untill some fitting person bee found to weare it. This accident makes good the old Proverbe, Quot homines, tot sententia, for some sayes our countrey man Con: (the Popes Legate) must have it; others say, Sir Tobit Mathewes doth better deserve it, some say, that as soone as the King hath established Bishops againe in Scotland, St. Andrew shall have it instead of a blew Bonnet, and others say Canterbury must be served before him. But some say, its kept untill St. Paul have a new coat, and then hee must have it for his hat, or else when Pauls is quite built, it must be carried round about it procession, and then left on the high altar for a religious Relique.
[Page 22] That all Lent long His Majesties Chaplaines, instead of Fasting preached fighting; and instead of Peace preached punishing of Rebels, amongst whom wilie Warner of Rochester having got a Bishopricke for making one Sermon, hee gave the King an other gratis, wherein he so rayled at the Rebels, as his Patron hath promised a better Bishopricke, when it fals.
That such time-serving Clergie men, as have not the gift of Preaching, seeke preferment by rayling; as one Harison, who lookes for a Deanery at least, for calling Judge Hutton Traytor, when hee sate on the seat of Iustice, for speaking his conscience for the subject against Prerogative.
That the case of ship-monie was fully argued, first by foure Councellors, and afterwards by the twelve Iudges, whereof the Gold-finch, Vernon, and five punies past for the King, and five Seniors, (whereof two were capitall) stood for the countrey, but what can withstand fortune; for most voices mis-carried it: Neverthelesse, the Lord Say would faine have had another assay at the matter, but could not be heard.
That about Mid-lent, the names of all strangers, as well French and Dutch, as Scots, were collected in and about London, and sent to the King, viz. 60000. French, 40000. Dutch, and 900. Scots, but if Priests, Friers, Iesuits, and the rest of the Romish Rabbies, had beene also collected, they would have exceeded the number of the Scots, and if the Papists and Protestants of the French and [Page 23] Dutch had beene likewise collected, the number of the Protestants had stood but for a cipher to the other.
The voice went that all the Protestant strangers should have beene sent into New England (if the King could have spared shipping) and the others should have made a catholicke Army, to have gone against the Scots: But now the Scots taking their new oath to fight against their consciences and countrey, and the rest paying in their money without grumbling, they may all stay in Old England if they please.
That albeit, with the pilling and polling of the Commonalty, England is fallen into a very dangerous disease, which growes every day worse and and worse, in so much, as one Sunday at one Master Shutes Parish Church, a Bill was delivered, that Iohn Common-wealth of England being sick of the Scots disease, desires the prayers of the Congregation, for calling a Parliament, the great Physician of the Kingdome, to cure their infinit infirmities.
That all men must contribute to this holy, and zealous expedition; whereupon the Citie of London having made a collection of, at least 6000. l. presented it to the King, who thankt them for their loves, but would not receive it, because some say, it was too little, others say, that he will come home by them, and then they must present him with a golden Calfe, and a greater gift for a peace offring: But in the meane time its said, that Yorke must bee made the Royall Citie of the Kingdome; but [Page 24] when no man knowes, yet the Merchants care not if both Court and Towne bee carried thither, so long as they cannot carry Thames with them also: For if their wives loved Courtiers no better then they doe, their roomes were farre better then their company.
That the King being resolved upon his Iourney, wrote his Letters to all Noble-men in the Kingdome, to attend his Royall Standard at Yorke. The first day of Aprill with fitting men and furniture, according to their birth and qualities, degree and honour, where by the Papists report his Majesty will be with 100000. English. 20000. Welsh 20000. Irish 20000. chosen Catholikes, all in compleate armour, and that the King of Spaine would send him 20000. of his old souldiers (if he had no use for them himselfe:) The King of Denmarke would send him 20000. of his Drunkards, if he could spare them: The King of Morocco would send him twenty tun of Barbary Gold, if Argier and Tunnis stood not in his way, and the Pope would send his Benediction, if he thought it would doe him any good.
That the King was by the Prelates so exasperated, and made so eager on the busines, as he tooke his Iourney on his Coronation day, which some think unfortunate: But the Papists Proverbe prevailed, The better day the better deed.
At this departure hee had Canterburies blessing, and a book of Remembrances what is fit to be done to such a rebellious people.
[Page 25] That all things are much altered, since the Kings departure from London, White-hall is become an Amazonian Castle, St. Iames an Hospitall for strangers, Somerset-House a Catholicke Colledge, Westminster a receptacle for Seminary Priests and Iesutis, London is like a private friend in close mourning, Coaches and Carts are halfe idle for want of imployment, and great Horses, Sedans, and wherries fight for their imployment, Porters are taken up for Gentlemen Vshers, & Clergy men (by reason of their pastorall protection) clap in with all the good matches about London.
That my countrey man Con: the Popes Legate, is fallen lame of late, and is writing an invective against Abernathy, for discovering his comming into England: hee saith, that if these troubles had not beene, hee had got as much money in seven yeares, as (with the helpe of a Letter or two, from the Court to the Conclave of Cardinals) would have made him Pope; and then if you had not yeelded to the King on any conditions, he would have curst you with Bell, Book, and Candle.
That the seven Champions of Christendome are now (this criticall yeare) all up in Armes, St. Anthony is inchanted by the Pope in S. Angelo, S. Iames, and S. Dennis are this summer to try their strengths in a simple combat: And S. George, S. David, and S. Patrick, are all ryding into Scotland, against S. Andrew, but the quarrell against him is unknowne; some say because he will not wait upon S. George his Ceremonies, but others say, its because hee dare [Page 24] [...] [Page 25] [...] [Page 26] maintaine that there was neither Pope, nor Prelate in the Primitive Church.
That one Baker, the Bishop of Londons Chaplaine, being one morning desired to present a Petition from a Minister to his Lord for a Prebends place, carried the matter so craftily, that he had it for himselfe, together with the Ministers curse, for cozening of him; but to prevent that, the Bishop gave him his blessing; yet it did him no good, for ere night he was so puft up with pride, and grown so great, that the weight of his body broke his legge, and so laid him and his honour in the dust, yet theer be some that attribute this accident to another thing, for they say, that this Baker was so over-joyed with the death of some good Divines, and the going away with others, that he made verses of them, and the same day hee made them hee broke his legge, and his verses were answered the next day following.
Baker.
Dike is dead,
Davis is fled,
And Symmons is run away,
Carter is flying, Stanton is dying,
And Good wyn is left to pray.
Carter.
Carter is at hand,
Baker cannot stand,
VVith a fall he hath broke his legge,
Our Bishops are flying, their cause is a dying,
And the Scots will make them begge.
[Page 27] That when the King lay at New castle, Fleetwoods newes came fleeting to London, with as many lyes, as lines in it, but that's no matter, Colonels may lye by commission: It tels us of your Iron Flailes, Harrowes, Knives, and the like, taken going to you from Sheffeild, and threatens to beate you with your owne weapons: Now as for your men he never mentions them, because he meanes not to meddle with them: But when hee comes to relate the valour of your women, he cryes out, the Lord bee mercifull unto us, for wee shall have a bloody busines of it, yet hee declares his resolution, is to fly in their faces, and concludes with a Protestation, that his father may tell it for truth.
That albeit you were offended with that Proclamation, which termes you people of broken fortunes. They have made another against you, its just like Ianus in the head; and in the body like a Scorpion with a sting in his tayle. For first you are pardoned if you subscribe Jgnoramus, but if you doe not, you are condemned before you are convicted, and your trayterous obstinacies are to be cured with the sharpe sword of Iustice, which being put into the hands of Papists, they sweare by Peters Keyes, Pauls sword shall be put in practise.
The body of the Proclamation breeds a Scorpion in your bosome to devoure you. First your debtors must pay your money to His Majesty, who (because hee can give no lawfull discharge) will give them a good share back againe. Next all [Page 28] your lands are given away to such as will fight for them.
Lastly, your tenants must pay you no more rents, for His Majesty will turne Land-lord, and let them their lands for a third part abatement of their old rent, and promises to put them in possession before Pentecost next, unlesse you prevent it.
That there was some whispering newes about the towne of a dissention, betweene the spirituall Lords: whereupon a great Politician had drawne His Majesty to command all the temporall Lords attendance (purposely to be revenged on the Nobility) whilst others lye lurking at home laughing in their sleeves, to see how they made their enemies take up Armes to defend their quarrell: In which if any of the Nobility, and Gentry be slain, their sonnes may prove Wards, and so bring in much money to maintaine the wars.
That if the Prelates project succeed well, tis thought Wren and VVarner should have the keeping of the great and little seales, and London now (like John hold my staffe) being Treasurer, the Clergy will have a golden time of it, but let them remember this Admonition.
That spirituall pride brings temporall war,
And temporall warre brings peace,
That Lords and Lawyers end the jar,
And Prelates pride must cease.
That there is a new counsell Table erected at London, where the Catholick Lords, Knights, and [Page 29] Superiours of the Roman Clergy, meet to consult upon fitting meanes for raysing of money towards maintenance of this holy warre, which they hope will either procure a dissolution of your Religion, or a tolleration of their owne.
At this meeting divers motives, and advises were drawne up for certaine Priests to move the Catholikes to contribute in a large manner towards the maintenance of those warres, to the 8. 9. 10. part at least of their Annuall meanes, according to the true and just value; for which, besides the benefit, which may redound to them by their Religion: the King hath called in his Commission against Recusants: The Queene hath undertaken to secure all those as shall be Contributors herein, and the Pope hath promised, that no man which dies in this quarrell shall ever come in Purgatory.
That these advises and motives being discovered, the Pope hath written to his Nuncio, not to be too forward, untill they see time, for feare of discovery, nor to let the Laity know too much of the Provincials minds, lest they fall off, nor that the Catholikes bestow so much on the society of Iesuits, as other the Orders can have no part.
That there is a Feast of fancies at London free for any man, that hath a mind to it.
The first dish is a Redshanks sermon, instead of a sallad, the second a pickl'd Projector, the next a piping hot pigge, and next a handsome hogge, there was a red Deere Pye, but that's past, instead of that, they meane to have a Bishops head and bacon, [Page 30] which will serve for a grand dish: and albeit it bee somewhat out of fashion, yet it is like to be in season. Their bread is Bishops Bisket, and Burtons bayte.
Their drinke is Britain's teares, their dyning Roome the Castle of care.
Their attendants Tom Tell-troth, and Bastwicks younger brother.
Their Musick hath for Tenour Vox Regis.
For their Base, Vox Clerici, for their Discords, Vox consilij, for their Treble, Vox populi; for their Counter, Uox pauperis: for their Meane, Vox pueri: for their Consort, Vox Cali: for their comfort, Vox Dei.
The voice of this Musicke hath beene heard throughout all England, and is like to grow lowder, unlesse some course be taken to stop it.
That, there are a kind of Beadles runs up and downe about the towne, yelping out your destruction, crying, Oh the valour of the Welsh-men! which are gone to kill the Scots: well, looke you have Leeks, and causbobby, and give them good words, and call them bold Britains; and then you may doe with them what you will.
That Halter, and Ballad-makers are two principall trades of late: Ballads being sold by whole hundreds in the Citie, and Halters sent by whole barrels full to Barwicke to hang up the Rebels with, as soone as they can catch them.
That old Iohnson the Poet being dead, great moane is made for one of that quality, to write the [Page 31] Bishops wars: yet two have petitioned for the place, and each of them have something for tryall, which because you may see their straine, I thought fit to insert, as followeth.
1. POET.
The Doughty Dane, the force of Spaine,
Morocco rude and rout,
The Irish wild, the English mild,
And Welsh men bold and stout,
Are taking Armes, and vowes great harmes,
To Scotland they will bring,
For Bishops right they meane to fight,
To please their Royall King.
2. POET.
The English-men both bold and strong,
The Irish stout and hardy,
The valiant Welsh-men will be first,
To take the Scots men tardy,
Our ships by sea, our men by land,
Will pull their courage downe;
And make men know, King Charles will keepe,
The Myter next the Crowne.
The tryall of these verses were put to two Iohns poetically affected, who allowed of the Latter, for two reasons.
First because the former makes them fight for Nations to one, which is too much odds, where [Page 32] the other mentions onely three, being somewhat unequall too.
Secondly, because the former forgets the Kings ships: whereupon depends the hopes of the successe, and honour of the Kingdome, which the latter observing he shall therefore write the history, but hee must not begin untill hee heare the successe of the first Battell, which if it proves unfortunate, then it spoyles a Poet.
That the newes at London is so uncertaine, that no man believes it, sometimes we heare of Peace, and then the Papists storme and fret, saying, the King is too mercifull. For my Lord Howard (not the chiefe of the Howards) hath three sonnes, all Colonels newly come over from the Cardinals Campe, who threaten, if the King will give them leave, they will pluck the Scots out of their trenches by the eares; but when newes come they must fight, and that wee shall have blowes for blowes, then they tell us, that the Kings forces are two weak for the Covenanters, but as soone as the Irish will come over Dunluce, and his Dimilances will drive them all into the Mountaines.
That such newes as this comes out by owlelight in little Bookes or Ballads to be sold in the streets. And I feare its held a prime peece of policy of state, For otherwise, how could so many false Ballads, and Bookes be tollerated: yet the next morning Sunne exhales all their vaine Evening vapours: As that newes of taking Lesley Prisoner, killing of Colonell Crayford, and imprysoning most of the [Page 33] Nobility, but I never beleeved it, because if it had beene true Ballads, would have beene sung by day light, Bookes printed, Bonefires made, and a solemne Procession with a Te Deum, at least, had not beene wanting at Lambeth.
That I went one day to the Star-chamber to see what Lords where left at home, where I heard Colonell Crosby and others fined, for reporting that the Lord Deputy of Ireland going to Knight a poore man, Sir Knave, with a Cane, hee hit him so hard as hee kill'd him, when in truth, hee died not untill three dayes following.
At which sentence, little Laud made a Sermon of an houre long, telling them how the Deputy had cozened the Scots in Ireland of all their armes, and was providing men to weare them into Scotland against their owne Countrey-men; And that it was a fortune that followeth all men in high places and authority to bee evill spoken off.
But it was not so of old, for then the man whom the King did honour should ride in his Chariot, bee apparelled with the Kings Roabes, and esteemed the second person in the Kingdome; but now, if the people might have their wils (quoth hee) those whom the King honoureth, should have Hamans reward: with this hee concluded, keeping the application to himselfe; whereupon, I went out and wrote these Verses following, and left them in the window:
[Page 34] Now wicked Will doth raigne as King,
And Finch sing sweet by Windybanks,
The Priests placebo still doe sing,
But the Scots if crost, will play mad prancks.
The next day, I tooke my journey homewards, and left one to take notice of passages in my absence; And a first night I lay at Ware where my host shewed mee the great bed and told mee that 24. Captaines lay altogether in it, and named it the bed of honour; If (said I) honour could bee goe with lying in fether-beds few would bee without it. But sure (said I) they will lye both worse and further asunder before they returne home againe.
When I came at Yorke, I heard the King was bravely entertained there, and that the Recorder had so tickled his eares with flattery and fables that both hee and the Major were knighted, well thought I this makes good the old Proverbe; Some may better steale a goose, then others stick downe a feather; For if the Scots had done so, they had beene called fawning fellowes by open Proclamation.
When I came to Durham, all the Drummers were drunke, for the Bishop had bestowed good store of wine upon them to forbeare beating, because the noise of the Drummes should not drowne the sound of the Organs.
I needed no guide to Newcastle for whole [Page 35] troopes of souldiers lay lame by the way; This Towne is now called little London albeit it hardly deserve the name of Coale-Castle. I went round their Towne to see the workes, and thought to have seene a Castle in it, but mine host told mee that the Scots had long agoe laid the Castle levell with the ground, and least they should doe the like with the Towne, the King had sent a garison to defend it.
When I came first to the Campe, I was examined what I was, I told them, I was Chaplaine to the Lord High Crown'd Howard, and was come on a message to his chiefe. Upon this, I had a faire pasport, but never came neere him.
The first newes I heard there was, that the Marquesse was sent to find out the floting Islands, and that hee had beene round about England, and most part of Scotland, but could not find them, and in the Interim, most of his men falling Sea sick; A pinke was dispatcht to Apolloes Oracle, to know their destinies. Answere was made, that they were all unsanctified people, and not fit to bee imployed in so holy a warre, untill they had done penance, and made their confessions in some fitting Land. This made them more amazed then before, untill a subtile Sphincks expounded the riddle and told them it was meant by the holy Island, unto which hee would prove their Pylot and bring them thither, where if their men died as fast on Land as they did at Sea, then they might save a labour of digging of Graves, and bury them in [Page 36] conyborowes; unto this they all agreed and weighed anchour, hoised up sailes, and in short time arrived in the harbour where they landed their men. And the Marquesse himselfe after hee had made his Orizons at Saint Cutberts shrine, hee posted to Apollo for further direction.
That when I came to the Campe, I saw diverse troopes of voluntaries, who (like so many prodigals) having got their patrimonies, are come thither to spend them in hope to returne richer. They have taken with them three horses a peece, one to carry the Asse himselfe, an other to carry a Prisoner if hee can take any; and the third, to carry his provision.
But its commonly seene in all Lotteries (this being the like) that there are above ten Blancks to one prize.
I met with a great many Gamsters there, and with some Players and Poets, but all out of imployment, yet a Poet told mee, that because hee would keepe his hand in ure, hee made every day a few lines in Verse; a parcell whereof hee gave mee as followeth:
No enemies face yet have wee seene
Nor foote set on your ground,
But here wee lie in open feild
With raine like to bee drown'd.
[Page 37] The Earths my Bed, when I am laid
A Turfe it is my Pillow,
Our Canopy is the skie above,
My Lawrell turn'd to willow,
Then mighty Mars withhold thy hand
And Jove thy fury cease,
That so wee may, as all doe pray,
Returne againe in peace.
About the end of May, either a Foole, or an unskilfull Physitian, told the King, that the Scots Campe had such stinking breaths, as the English durst not come within tenne miles of them for feare of infecting, whereupon a Proclamation was made, that the King did respect the safety of his subjects of England. So as the Scots Campe under paine of displeasure, should not come within tenne miles of the English borders, or Campe, wheresoever it lay; but if they did, then the Generalissimo was to kill all they could catch, wherein they should doe his Majesty good service and honour.
Shortly after this; a vaine man perswaded the King, that all the Scots were retired above 14. miles from Barwick, and that 5000. would bee able to take them all in their trenches. This being granted, upon Ascension day, the English army went out of Barwick very early to put this designe in execution, but ere they had marched two miles, newes came, that Generall Lesley was comming towards them, whereupon, they returned, saying, they went out but onely to goe in procession round about [Page 38] the bounds belonging to the Towne of Barwick.
About two dayes after, there happened a great mistie morning, in which the Cowes comming down the Hill towards Barwick seemed like so many men, and the white horses like so many colours, which put the Towne in such a fright that the Scots were comming, that they barrocaded their Gates, ranne up their Rampires, mounted their Ordinance, and made ready for a defence: But when the day grew cleere, and that they heard Cowes low for their Calves, they opened their Gates, and let them in to Suckling.
That I observed in the Campe, that both the French and Spanish factions (like to Caiphas and Pilate) are now agreed to your overthrow in this expedition, who were alwayes, opposite enemies one to another, even in their very apparrell, which I will decipher unto you, because if you see them, you may know them.
The French-men bee knowne by their Curld Perriwiggs, Franciscan Cap, short wasted Dublet, long arsed hose, and curtall Cloake, with boots as though they meant to bee buried in them. And the other may bee knowne by his Spanish hat, Armenian band, long bellied Dublet without a belt, trunke hose, start up stockings, buskin bootes, and large cloakes, which is the generall fashion now in the Army.
That when I was in the Campe, Proclamation was made, that every man upon paine of death [Page 39] should observe these Lawes and Ordinances of warre, which all the Campe were sworne to as sacred and good, out of which tenne of the most materiall were collected, and set up to bee observed as truly, as they doe the tenne Commandements.
1. VVHosoever shall speake any thing in favour of the enemy, or say that this army in unlawfull or unnecessary, shall suffer as a Rebell.
2. All such as have intelligence with the enemy or shall releive them, or give them any thing (saving blowes,) shall die without redemption.
3. That all such as disparage or speake against the actions of any chiefe Commander, or refuse to doe what they desire, shall suffer death.
4. That all such as forsakes their Collonels, leave their Captaines, or draw of sword against any, but the Scots, shall suffer death without mercy.
5. That no man lift his hand, wag his tongue, or stirre a foote against his Commander when hee shall correct him, upon paine of death.
6. That whosoever shall see a Commander in danger, shall venture his owne life to save the others, upon paine of death.
7. That when the enemy is driven out of the field, no souldier leave his ranck to fall to pillage, untill license bee given them, upon paine of perpetuall imprisonment.
[Page 40] 8. That all such spoiles as shall bee taken above the rate of tenne shillings shall bee brought undiminished to the Lord Generall to bee rewarded for a memoriall of victory, and after it is proclaimed with sound of Drumme and Trumpet it is to bee sold, and the money to bee kept to build an Hospitall for old Casheer'd Captaines, and such Souldiers as shall bee lam'd or spoil'd in this expedition.
9. That he which can take any of the Lords, or principal Covenanters Prisoners, shall bring them to the Lord Generall, where hee shall have an honourable reward for his paines.
10. That whatsoever any man can spare unspent of his pay, hee is at his returne to London to offer it up at the high Altar, at Pauls, towards the repayring therof, wher his name shall be inrolled, as a valiant Warrior against the Scots, & a brave Benefactor too.
Per Generalissimo.
Some of the Captaines, and souldiers being displeased with these orders, the next night puld them downe, and put up these other ten in their places.
1. That no man bee too forward to fight, untill hee know the quarrell, and that such correspondency be kept with the Covenanters, as they doe with us, upon paine of the next Parliaments displeasure.
2. That such souldiers as use any unlawfull gaming, or cousening, shall suffer imprisonment, and [Page 41] such Captaines and Commanders, as by the cog of a Dye could set forth whole troops of horses (but lost their luck since they came from London) shall likewise loose their credit in the campe, and their colours in the field, if they doe not maintaine their troops in the same manner they set them out.
3. Item if any souldier learne, or use more terms of Art in his exercise, then his Captaine can teach him, shall have three blowes with a Bastinado for his presumption.
4. Item, If any Captaine cannot understadd his colonels command, hee shall forfeit a Goose for his slender judgement.
5. Item, That no Sutler trust the souldiers with too much meate, for feare of surfeiting, upon paine of non-payment thereof.
6. Item, if any Trooper bee kept short of his pay, then it shall be lawfull for him to sell his great cart Horse, and furniture, and to fight on foot, untill by his valour he can get a Galloway Nag to ride upon.
7 Item, that no souldier set foot further in Scotland, then their Generall, Colonell, or Captaines dare leade the way, lest when they come to imployment they be left in the lurch.
8. Item, that whatsoever any souldier can bring away out of Scotland, without molestation, he shal keepe it to himselfe, without any account rendring.
9. Item, that after the Campe is broke up, that every man that hath not money to beare his charges home, shall have license to beg into his countrey; [Page 42] and if the peoples charity will not supply him, then it shall be lawfull for him to take what he can by way of borrowing, with promise of repayment the next Northerne Iourney.
10. That if any sluggish souldier get nothing by his Iourney in this expedition, hee shall at his returne lye three nights in the Savoy, in a straw bed, and at his departure have three lice for his labour, if he bring none with him.
By Authority under his Excellency.
Hereby you may perceive there is no great Vnity in the Campe, but there is far lesse edge in the Kingdome towards this action, for take this for a generall observation throughout England, that many of the best Nobility, and prime Gentry, a Commonalty are well Wishers to the cause; albeit they be not openly seene in it. So as I may truly tell you, that though nature have provided two hands to one heart; yet God hath prepared two hearts to pray for you, for one hand that is to fight against you.
That the most of the common souldiers in the campe, are such as care not who loose, so they get, being meere Atheists, and barbarous in their resolutions. And indeed they are the very scum of the Kingdome, such as their friends have sent out to be [Page 43] rid of, who care not if both Kingdomes were on fire, so they might share the spoyle.
Vpon this I thought good, to try if I could take off the edge of their fury, by making a Quere of the quarrell, and a Declaration of your intentions, by the verses following, which I put up under the Orders:
English.
What will you fight for a Booke of Common Prayer?
VVhat will you fight for a Court of high Commission?
What will you fight for, a Myter guilded faire?
Or to maintaine the Prelates proud Ambition?
What will you get, you must not weare the Myter?
What will you get, you know wee are not rich?
What will you get, your yoake will be no lighter?
For when wee'r slaine, this rod comes on your breech.
Scots.
Wee fight to have our true Religion stand:
Wee fight to keepe our Lawes unvilified,
Wee fight to preserve our lives and land,
Our only ayme's to beate downe Prelates pride:
Our King is wise, and so wee hope heele heare us,
Our cause is good, wee'll seale it with our blood,
Our conscience that doth perfect witnesse beare us,
That what we doe, is for the generall good,
Then learne in time to ease your heavy state,
Lest one day you repent, when tis too late.
The next morning these verses were taken down, and carried to the Generall, who gave order for apprehending the Author, but Mumbudget for [Page 44] me: And about noone, a Comptroller came and put up an Answer to them, as followeth:
Thou Rebell Scot, wee feare thee not,
Our quarrell is to fight:
Lashley wee'l lash, deare Sandy slash,
And Douglas put to flight.
By Kings command, we have your land,
As soone as you are slaine,
Then with all speed wee'll doe the deed,
Else call the bragger Vane.
By Authority.
By this you may perceive they thinke it a won game, yet I see no miracles they have done, since they went out; only I observed a wonder, that is, to see their pride and patience have agreed so long together, expecting an end of this action.
That I saw the Regiment of Gyants sent out of Yorke-shire, under the command of Don Quicksot, who threatens, that after they have carbonadoed the Scots like so many capons, then Sanco Panco his Page shall cut off their heads, and carry them to the Prelates for a present; but the Enterprise will prove worse, then the Wind-mills was, that the third day after, all the forces were drawne into Battalia, where the Welsh-men had the Vauntguard the Irish the Reere, and the English the maine Battell, and the Papists were purposely backwardly placed, to see that none forsooke their colours, and the Bishops could willingly have desired to [Page 45] beare the Banner; but that they feared their white sleeves were such faire markes, and the Scots such good Marksmen, as they could not misse them.
That when the Muster roll was cast up (of their 100000. English. 20000. Spaniards. 20000. Irish. 20000. Welsh. 20000. Danes, and 20000. choice Cotholikes) it was found in toto not above 1600. If I be mistaken in the numbers, London newes misled me: Now if all these, with the helpe of three bordering counties, after three dayes Battery with the great Ordinance, and three moneths labour of the Engineers cannot make a breech big enough for the Generals greatnesse to enter Edenburgh, and cut off all the Covenanters, then they meane to take an other course with you, viz. First they meane cunningly, under the colour of a parley to catch you in a purse-net, and if that fayle, then they meane to yeeld to a Parliament; and in the Interim possesse themselves of all the strong Castles, and then on the suddaine to catch you all napping, as Mosse caught his Mare: But if your wisdomes do prevent that, then they meane to starve you by land, and by sea; for which purpose the Marquesse hath surrounded the seas, & hath entred the Frith; where like Swallowes after Flyes hee wil so fight with the Fisher-boats, as you shall not have a Whiting, a Haddock, nor a Herring to relieve you: And all the frontier Townes between Carlile, and Barwick shall be laid full of souldiers to keepe you from catching any thing out of England: But here's your comfort, winter will come, and [Page 46] then our rough rocks, and shelvy seas will force the ships to retire homewards, and our cold clymate will quickly coole their courages, if they continue their intended courses.
That upon the first of June, newes was brought to the English Campe, that all the Scots Army was blowne as farre as Edinburgh, with the wind of the last Proclamation: whereupon order was given for an Inroade into Scotland, within two dayes after thinking to have taken in the two market Townes of Kelsey and Duns, but they proved dunces in their designs, for they went fiercely on the munday morning, as some of their Commanders had put on Perriwigs instead of Helmets, and the rest had no time to take their leaves of their friends, but hastily marched with such a fury, that they raysed such a dust with their fifteen hundred horse, and 3000. foot,Nota. that they were almost choakt with it: But when they came towards Kelsey, there appeared 400. Horse on the top of a Hill; whereupon the English Commanders gave order for a charge, which the other perceiving retyred downe the hill on the other side, and then wheeling about with a foot Army, they encompassed the English Army round about ere they knew of it. And after some small pawse on the busines, a Trumpetter was sent to the Scots to submit, who returned answer, that if they meant to fight, they should see their submission, and demanded of the English the cause of their comming to invade them in such hostile manner, who replied, that they came out to see [Page 47] how the Scots Markets were furnished with flesh, for the English souldiers were almost surfeited with eating of fresh Salmon, to which a Scots Captaine replied:
Most Gentle Generall, our Markets are well stored with provision, and if you will but take the paines to march into our market with your Army, you may see almost 5000. English Calves, which our friends have sent us for a Prey this morning, but wee never meane to hurt them, but intend to send them safe back againe for a present to his Majesty, as a token of our Loyalty to him, and our loves towards you. When the English had considered how the case stood with them, they fell to a parley and parted loving friends, and so sounded a retreat, and returned homewards againe; every man carrying in his hand, instead of a (Rosemary, branch the Embleme of Death.) An Olive branch the Embleme of Peace, all of them singing:
Fight who will, wee will not draw our swords,
Gainst those that for bad deeds, returne good words,
Wee found their love, and know they meane no ill,
Then lets shake hands, be friends, and brethren still.
When the English Army saw their fellowes returne in this manner, it caused a great confusion amongst them, but when they truly understood the matter, Let us have Peace, Let us have Peace, the most cried with the newes; I was so farre overjoyed, [Page 48] that I came poasting to your Lordships to tell you the same, whose wisedomes can well tell how to take the oportunity offred for the peace and prosperity of this Kirke and Kingdome, the welfare whereof is the harty desire of him, who hath adventured himselfe to bring your Lordships these few Intelligences.
FINIS.