IN the beginning of Quéene E [...]izabeths most happy Reigne our late deceased Soveraigne, under whose peacefull go­vernment long flourished this our Country of England, there lived in the Citie of London a merry Citizen, named old Hob [...]o [...] a Haber­dasher of smale wares, dwelling at the lower end of Cheape-side, in the Poultry, as well known through this part of England ▪ as a Sergeant knowes the Counter gate: he was a homely plaine man, most commonly wea­ring a buttoned Cap close to his eares a short Gowne girt about his midle, and a paire of slippers upon his féete of an ancient fashion, as for his wealth it was answerable to the bet­ter sort of our Citizens, but of so merry a dis­position that his equall therein is hardly to be found: hereat let the pleasant disposed peo­ple laugh and the more graver in carriage take [Page] no exceptions, for here are meriments with­out hurt, and humorous jests savouring upon wisedome: reade willingly, but scoffe not spightfully, for old Hobson spent his dayes merrily.

NOt many years since, there was Sir John Baynes ▪ (by the commmon voice of the City) chosen Sheriffe of London, which man in former times had been Mr. Hobsons Prentise, and riding along the streets with o­ther Aldermen, about the Citie business, was saluted by M. Hobson in this manner, Bones a me man what a clock horse-knave, and thy Master a foot here's the world turn'd upside down: Sir John hearing this his Masters merry salutation, passed along with a pleasant smile, making no answer at all, upon which slight regard, M. Hobson took accasion to say as followeth: here's pride rides on horseback, whilest humility goes a foot, in speaking these words came foure other Aldermen riding af­ter Master Sheriffe, whose names were these: Alderman Ramsey, Alderman Bond, Alderman Beecher and Alderman Cooper, at whose passage by he made this pleasant rime.

[Page]This pleasant Rime so sodainly spoken by M. Hobson ▪ is to this day, accounted for his Proverbe in London.

MAster Hobson being a Haberdasher of small wares (as I said before) and his shop on a time full of customers, his negligent prentises [...]ar les [...]y credited a Kentish Pedler with 10. pounds of commodities, neither knowing his name, nor his dwelling place, which oversight when M. Hobson understood, and noting the simplicyty of his servants, and their forgetfulnesse▪ demanded what apparell the fellow had on? marry Sir (quoth one of the Prentises) he had a Tawny-coate then (quoth M. Hobson) put down Jo [...]n Tawney-coate, and so was the Pedler by the name of John Tawny-coate, entred to the booke; a­bout a moneth after, the same Pedler came againe to London to buy ware, and comming to M. Hobson in a Russet coat, willed him to turne over his booke for ten pounds that one John Rowlands owed him: Ten pounds (qd. M. Hobson) that John Rowlands oweth me, I remember no such man, bones a good knave thou owest me none: But I do, said the Ped­ler: whereupon the book was searched, but no John Rowlands was to be found. I thinke [Page] thou art mad (quoth Hobson) for thou owest me nothing: but I doe, quoth the Pedler, and will pay it. Being in this strife a long time, one of his servants said that he had found in the book, such a debt by one John Tawny-coat ▪ That is my selfe, replyed the Pedler▪ I was then John Tawnycoat though I am now John Russet-coat, so paid he ten pounds by the same name to M. Hobson, and received twentie more upon his own word and name of John Rowlands, the which twentie pound he short­ly after paid for suretyship▪ and so by his over-kind heart, paying other mens debts, he grew so poore, and into such necessity, that he was forced to maintaine his living by hedging and ditching, and other such like countrey labours: within a while after this, M. Hobson comming into Kent to séeke up some desperate debts, he came to Datford, where finding this poore man ditching for a Groat a day, in pitty of him said, how now John Tawny-coat, bones a God man thou canst never pay with this poore la­bour, come home knave, come home, I will trust thée with twentie pounds more, follow thy old trade of pedling againe, and one day thou mayst pay me all.

Thus the Pedler had new credit of M▪ Hob­son, by which good meanes he grew rich, that in time he bought his fréedome of London, [Page] and therein grew so wealthy a Citizen that he became one of the Masters of the Hospitall, and when he dyed▪ he proved a good benefactor to the same house.

MAster Hobson in his youthfull time ha­ving nothing to dinner on a day but bread and chéese, good béere and a red herring, and being merrily disposed to iest, came unto his doore to sit, where he said to a Sergeant of London, I have din'd this day (quoth he) as well as my Lord Maior: the Sergeant hea­ring this and being a pick-thanke companion, went and certified his Lordship thereof, who immediately sent for M. Hobson, being then a man but of meane estate, who no sooner be­ing come into his presence, but his Lordship would needs know the cause of his compari­son clapping twenty knaves on poore Hobsons shoulders▪ I mean not Sergeants, but knaves of my Lord Maiors own making? I will teach thee knave (quoth his Lordship) how to use my name in thy comparison [...], and not in thy beggerly dinners, and drunken banquets to compare with me, and whilest you live to except me in any thing: and thereupon sent [Page] M. Hobson to the Counter, where he lay some two or three dayes without bayle: but at last being set at liberty, he met with the same Sergeant againe: whom he saluted in this manner, well met Sergeant (quoth he) by thy meanes I am commanded to except my Lord Maior in all things and so I will, for I thinke in my conscience, thou art the veriest knave in all London, except my Lord Maior. Thus M. Hobson most cunningly called my Lord Maior and the Officer, both knaves.

UPon a time M. Hobson invited very so­lemnly the whole Livery of his compa­ny to a light banquet, and for the same provi­ded the greatest Tavern in all London in a readinesse: the appointed houre being come, the Citizens repaired thither richly attired the better to grace M. Hobsons banquet, but ex­pecting great cheere and good entertainment, they were all utterly disappointed: for what found they there thinke you? Nothing on my word▪ but each one a cup of wine and a man­cher of bread on his trencher: and some five hundred candles lighted about the Roome, which in my minde was a very light banquet [Page] both for the belly and the eye: by this merry Iest, he gain'd such love of his company, that he borrowed g [...]atis out of the hall, a hundred and fiftie pound for two yeare.

EUermore when M. Hobson had any busi­nesse abroad his Prentices would either be at the Taverne filling their heads with wine, or at the Dagger in Cheap-side, cram­ming their bellies with minst pies: but above all other times it was their common custome (as London Prentices use) to follow their Masters upon Sundayes to the church doore, and then to leave them, and hie unto the Ta­vern, which M. Hobson on a time perceiving one of his men so to doe, demanded at his com­ming home, what the Preachers Text was. Sir (quoth the fellow) I was not at the be­ginning. What was in the middle, (quoth M. Hobson) Sir, quoth the fellow, then was I asléep: said M. Hobson againe, what was [...]hen the conclusion, then replyed his servant▪ I was come Sir away before the end: by which means he knew well he was not there, [...]ut rather in some Tipling house, offending Gods Majestie, and the lawes of the Land: [Page] therefore the next Sunday morning after, M▪ Hobson called all his servants together, and in the sight of many of his neighbors and their Prentises, tooke a piece of chawke and chaw [...]ked them all the way along to the Church di [...]rectly, which proved a great shame to his own servants▪ but a good example to all others o [...] like condition, after this was there never th [...] like misdemeanour used amongst them.

IN the beginning of Q. Elizabeths Reigne [...] when the order of hanging out Lanthorn [...] candle-light was first brought up, the Beadl [...] of the ward where M Hobson dwelt in a dar [...] evening went crying upon and down, hang ou [...] your Lanthornes hang out your Lanthornes using no other words. Whereupon M. Hobso [...] [...] an empty Lanthorn▪ and according to th [...] Beadles call hung it out; this flout by th [...] Lord Maior was taken in ill part, and for th [...] same offence was Master Hobson sent to th [...] Counter, but being Released the next nigh [...] the Beadle thinking to ammend his call, crye [...] with a loud voyce▪ hang out your lanthorn an [...] candle, hang out your Lanthorne and candle M Hobson hereupon hung out a Lanthorn [Page] [...]nd a candle unlighted as the Beadle againe [...]ommanded, whereupon he was sent againe [...]o the Counter: but y^e next night▪ the Beadle [...]eing better advised, cryed hang out your lan­ [...]horn and candle-light, which M. Hobson did, [...]o his great commendations, which cry of lan­ [...]horn and candle-light is in right manner used [...]o this day.

NOt far from M. Hobsons house, there dwelled one of these cunning men, other­wise called fortune-tellers, such cuzning com­panions to this day (by their crafts) make [...]imple women believe how they can tell what husbands they shall have, how many children, how many swee-hearts and such like: if goods [...]e stole, who hath them with promise to help them to their losses againe, with many other deceitfull illusions: To this wise man, (as some termes him) goes M. Hobson not to [...]eape any benefit by his crafty cunning, but to make a jest and a tryall of his experience: [...]o causing one of his servants to lead a masty dogge after him, staying at the cunning mans [...]oore with the dogge in his hand: up [...]oes M. Hobson to the wise man▪ requesting his skill, [...]or he had lost ten pound, lately taken from [Page] by théeves, but when and how he knew no [...] well, the cunning man knowing M. Hobson to be one of his neighbors, and a man of a goo [...] reputation, fell (as he made shew) to conju [...]ring and casting of figures, and after a few words of incantation, as his common use wa [...] he took a very large faire looking glasse, an [...] bad M. Hobson looke in the same, but not t [...] cast his eyes backward in any case: the whic [...] he did, and therein saw the picture of a hogge and a large Ox with two broad hornes on hi [...] head: the which was no otherwise, but (as h [...] had often deceitfully shewed to others) a co [...]zening fellow like the cunning man himselfe cleathed in an Oxes Hide which fellow h [...] maintained as his servant to blinde people [...] eyes withall, and to make them beléeve h [...] could shew them the Devill at his pleasure i [...] a glasse. This vision M. Hobson perceiving and guessing at the knavery thereof gave a whistle for his dogge, which then stayed below at the doore in his mans keeping which whistle being no sooner heard, but the dogge ran u [...] stairs to his Master, as he had béen mad▪ and presently fastned upon the poore fellow in the Oxes hide, and tore him as it was pit [...]tifull to sée: the cunning man cryed, for th [...] passion of God take of your dogge: no (quot [...] M. Hobson) let the Divell and the dog fight [Page] venter thou thy Divell, and I will venter my dogge: to conclude, the Ox-hide was torne from the fellows back, and so their knave­ [...]ies were discovered, and their cunning shifts laid open to the world.

AS M. Hobson increased in riches, so in­creased his wife in pride, in such sort that she wold seldome goe out of doores without her man before her. Upon a time having bu­sinesse to Cheap-side market, amongst many other of her neighbours, the more to shew her high and haughty stomack, desired of her hus­band that she might have her man to attend her: who séeing her disposition, willingly con­sented thereunto, and thereupon called two of his lustiest men put them in armour with two browne bils on their necks, placing one of them before her, the other after, and so pro­fered to send her forth to market: she in a nicenesse took such a displeasure hereat, that for a moneth after she lay sick in her bed, and would eate nothing but Cawdles made of muskadine.

ONe of M. Hobsons Prentices by name was called George Bacon, a neare kinsman of Sir Nicolas Bacon, L. Kéeper of England, a youth of much forwardnesse and good government: néer unto M. Hobson, dwelled a Grocer, which had likewise to his servant a youth, called by the name of George Hogge, also of a good wit and a pleasant dispo­sition: their two Prentices were great com­panions, and spent much time together, where­at M. Hobson being much displeased, called the said George Hogge to him, saying, I mar­vell my boy (quoth he) why thou keepest my man Bacon company, knowing him to be a Prentise but newly bound, and thou thy selfe another mans servant: to whom replyed this George Hogge wisely saying: your man Ba­con, Sir is a neare kinsman of mine▪ and we can by no means part friendship: How knave (quoth M. Hobson) a kinsman of thine? let me understand how it comes: marry thus an­swered the boy, my name is Hogge, and his is Bacon, two names that cannot chuse but be of a kindred: Nay, not so my lad (quoth M. Hobson) a hogge is no kinsman to Bacon [Page] till he be hanged, and when thou art hanged, thou shalt be my man Bacons kinsman, till then thou art but a bare hogge: thus by the [...]est did M. Honson part their companies.

THere was a very rich Citizen dwelling not far from London Bri [...]ge) who in his lifetime was never known to doe any déed worthy of memory: who dying, left M. Hob­son his only Executor, to dispose of his goods, as also to lay upon his grave a faire marble stone: and as upon marble stones there be commonly ingraven certaine verses in the manner of an Epitaph of the mans conversa­tion thereunder bured, so M. Hobson consider­ing what Epitaph he would set upon his friends grave, knowing the few good deeds he did in his life time, caused these two verses following to be ingraven upon the marble stone.

MAster Hobson having occ [...]sion to ride into the wilde of Kent, where in that age Schollers were somewhat scarce, during the time of his tarryance there, there happened to be buried one John Medcaulfe, a very suffici­ent Farmer, upon whose grave was written these verses following, in faire Roman letters:

Master Hobson noting the simplicity of the verses, writ underneath as followeth:

COntinuing in the wilde of Kent, M, Hob­son being benighted in travell, it was his chance to happen into a very poore Inne, where was no more Beds in all the house but two, the one for the good man and his wife, the other for the Guests that [...]ame thither: and both these beds stood both in one Cham­ber, for indéed there was no more [...] roomes in all the Inne: M. [...] supt, was lighted to bed by the [...] himselfe▪ who like an unmannerly Cham­berlaine set▪ M. Hobson never a Chamberpot: which he looking for round the Chamber espi­ed a wodden Bowle under the good mans bed, and a straining dish of the same fashion hanging up against the wall: the strainingdish then M. Hobson takes and sets under the good mans bed, and removed the Chamber­bowle from thence, and sets it under his own. The good man and his wife, according to cu­stome, came to bed without light, where they had not long laine but the good wife had occa­sion to make water and thereupon desired her husband to reach her the Chamberbowle▪ the which he did as he thought, but being deceived [Page] by M. Hobson, he Gave her the strainingdish, wherein when she had made water, it [...]an quite thorow upon her husband: goods my life (quoth the Good man) woman thou spil­lest over, no Husband, no (quoth she) it is not yet at my thumbe: which in my opinion, was a marke and custome they had: M. Hob­son hereat could scarce sleep for laughing, but lay and spent the whole night with merry i­maginations.

MAster Hobson having in France a Fa­ctor which dealt for him in Merchandise, and lacking divers sorts of wares to furnish his Chapmen for Bristow faire, sent to his a­foresaid Factor (being a merry conceited youth) for certaine matches of such commo­dities as were then most in request: he mi­staking his Masters meaning, sent him all the matches used for Gunpouder that could be bought in France, the value of two thousand pounds worth: M. Hobson receiving them, and séeing himselfe matcht with a commodity of matches, thought all was not well in France, and that his man neglected his busi­nesse there.

[Page]To know the truth thereof, the next morn­ing very early, not revealing it to his Wife, in a night gowne, a buttoned cap, and a paire of shippers, tooke shipping at Billinsgate, and passed over into France, where after some en­quiry made of his mans life and conversation, he found him in a lewd house, revelling with a most gallant French Curtizan, whom M. Hobson after a smile or two saluted in this manner: What now knave? what a wenching knave? a rack and manger knave? bones of me cannot a snatch and away serve your turn knave? is this the French wares you deale withall knave? his man séeing himselfe so ta­ken napping, for a time stood amazed, not knowing what to say, but recoverinh his sen­ses, he gave his Master this pleasant answer. Though Sir, this ware is a broken commo­dity, yet may we deale with them: being dealers with all wares, or rather Haberdash­ers of small wares, which is seldome lik'd of French Gentlewomen: M. Hobson at this pleasant answer could not choose but pardon him, and so came they both over into Eng­land, where now this rack and manger is grown to a Proverbe.

THe Commodity of Matches which his Factor sent him from France, being slow of sale, considering the little use for them, being in time of peace, like a witty Citizen, Master Hobson hies himselfe to Court, being in the dayes of our gracious Quéene Elizabeth, and having a pattent ready made for the sale of the [...]foresaid matches, where so soone as he came into the Quéenes presence, he knéeled downe, and desired her grace to give an assignement to his Pattent, declaring What it Was, and the great losse he was like to sustaine by that commodity: the Q. perceiving for what intent he came▪ and considering the benefit that would come by such a grant, and mean­ing to gi [...]e it to some Gentleman néere unto her, as a recompence for his service, said un­to M. Hobson, my friend (said the Q.) be con­tent for thou shalt not have thy pattent sealed, nor will I give thée thy request: M. Hobson, hearing the Q. denyall, said, I most heartily thanke your Majestie, both I and all mine are bou [...]d to thanke and pray for your High­nesse: and low obeysiance, went his way: at these his words the Q. much marvelled, and [Page] when he had gone a little from her, she caused him to be sent for back againe, whom when he was returned, the Q. asked if he did well understand what answer her Grace did give him: yes truly said M. Hobson: What said I (quoth the Q.) Marry your grace bid me be content for I should not have my desire, nor my patten sealed: why did you then (quoth the Q.) give me such great thanks? be­cause (said M. Hobson) your Grace gave me so spéedy an answer, without either long suit, or losse of time, the which would have béen to my very much harme and great hindrance, for I have at home a great charge of houshold to which I am bound in duty to looke diligently, and to provide carefully. The Q. marking well the wisedome and discréet answer of M. Hobson, and now conceiving a new fa­vour towards him; said now shall you give me twice thanks and have your pattent sea­led, and your desires performed that you sue for. So casting her eyes upon the Lord Chancelor, commanding the same by him to be done, which was accomplished with all speed whereby in short time he had quick sale of his commodity of matches to his hearts content, and his wealths great increase.

UPon Sant Hewes day, being the 17. of November, upon which day the triumph was holden for Q. Elizabe [...]hs happy govern­ment▪ as bonefires ringing of bells, and such like, but in the Parish where Master Hobson dwelled he being Church-warden, was no ri [...]ging at all by reason the Séeple was a­men [...]ing▪ and the bells down and being asked by a servant of the Quéenes house, why they [...] not? he answered because they had no be [...]s in their stéeple: Then quoth the Quéens man you may very well sell away your steeple: Why so, quoth M. Hobson, because quoth the other, it standeth empty and va­cant▪ to whom M. Hobson replyed againe, we may better sell away our Pulpit, for these twelve moneths was there never a Sermon in the same, and it rather stands empty and vacant. After this the Parson of the Church preached every Sunday following.

A Poore beggar man, that was foule, black, and loathsome to behold▪ came on a time to M. Hobson, as he walked in Moore fields, and asked some thing of him for an almes: to whom M. Hobson said I pray thée fellow get from me, for thou lookest as thou cammest lately out of hell: the poore Beggar percei­ving he would give him nothing, answered; forsooth Sir, you say true, for I came lately out of Hell indéed: why didst not thou tarry there still, quoth M. Hobson? Nay sir quoth the Begger, there is no roome for such beggar men as I am for all is kept for such Gentle­men Citizen as you be: this witty answer caused M. Hobson to give the poore man a teaster.

MAster Hobson had a Daughter which was a very faire young woman who made great sorrow & lamentation for her hus­band that lay a dying: no meanes could com­fort her: wherefore her father came to her and said, Daughter leave off your mourning, [Page] for if God take away your Husband, I will spéedily provide you another of great wealth and credit as he is now of, and far more young and lusty: but yet for all this, would she not leave mourning and grew greatly displeased that her Father made any motion of another husband, protesting that she would never marry more. But now marke the vaviable minds of women: her husband was no sooner dead and buried▪ the charges of his buriall paid for, and she with her friends set at supper to comfort her, betwéene sobbing and wéeping she wispered her father in the eare and said: Father, where is the man that you said should be my Husband? Thus you may sée (quoth M. Hobson) the nature of Women kind, and how long they mourne for their Husbands af­ter they be dead: these words made the young woman never after to aske her father for a husband.

MAster Hobson having one of his [...] new come out of his time▪ and be­ing made a free-man of London, desired to set up for himselfe: so taking a house not far from Saint Laurence Lane, furnished it with [Page] store of ware, and set the signe of the Maiden-head: hard by was a very rich man of the same trade, had the same signe, who reported in every, place where he came, that the young man had set up the same signe that he had one­ly to get away his customers, and dayly vex­ed the young man therewithall, who being grieved in mind told M. Hobson, his late Ma­ster, who commining to the rich man said, I marvell sir, (quoth M. Hobson) why wrong you my man so much as to say, he séeketh to get away your customers, marry so he doth (quoth the other) for he hath set up a signe called the maiden-head as mine is. That is not so (replyed M. Hobson.) for this is the Widdowes head▪ and no Maiden-head, there­fore you doe him great wrong: the rich man hereupon séeing heimself requited with mocks rested satisfied, and never after that envied M. Hobsons man, but let him live quietly.

UPon a time M. Hobson going to my L. Maiors to dinner amongst the Livery of his Company, and being waighted on by one of his Prentices, the said Prentise spyed a louse créeping upon the side of his Gown and tooke it off M. Hobson espyi [...]g him to doe something in secret, asking what it was: the [Page] fellow being ashamed, was loath to tell him but being importuned by his Master, said [...] was a Louse: oh (quoth M. Hobson) this [...] good luck: for it sheweth me to be a man, fo [...] this kind of vermine chiefly breedeth on man kind, and thereupon gave five shillings to hi [...] man for his labour: another of his Prentices being a pick-thanke knave, and having hear [...] that his fellow had five shillings given him fo [...] taking a Louse off his Master, (having hi [...] Gown likewise on) and made as though [...] tooke a flea from the same, and conveyed [...] away: but when M. Hobson constrai [...]ned him to tell what it was, with much dis [...]sembling shamfastnesse, he said it was a flea M. Hobson perceiving his dissimulation, sa [...] to him, what dost thou make me a dogge? fo [...] fleas be most commonly bread upon dogges and instead of his expected reward, he recei [...]ved fiftéene stripes; for said M. Hobson, ther [...] is a great difference betwéen one that doth [...] thing with a good mind, and him that doth [...] thing by dissimulation.

MAster Hobson had a servant that he ha [...] long before made a frée-man, and wa [...] still at M. Hobsons commandement, and did him much good service, wherefore upon a time [Page] he came unto his Master and said Sir, I have done you▪ service long time justly and truly, wherefore I pray you bestow something upon me to begin the world withall: fellow qd. Mr. Hobson, thou sayst true, and thereon have I thought many times to doe a good turne, now will I tell thee what thou shalt doe. I must shortly ride to Bristow Faire, and if thou wilt beare my charges thither, I will give thée such a thing, as shall be worth to thee an hundred l. I am content qd. the fellow; so all the way as he rode. his man bore his charges, and payd for all things duly, till they came at the last lodging, and there after supper he came to his Master and said, Sir, I have borne your char­ges as you commanded me, now I pray you let me know what the thing is that will be worth to me 100. pounds? did I promise thée such a thing (qd. his Master?) you did▪ said the fellow: shew me in writing (qd. his Master) I have none, said the fellow, then thou art like to have nothing, qd. M. Hobson; and learn this of me whensoever thou makest a bargain with any man, looke that thou take a writing for thy security and be well advised how thou givest thy bond to any man, this thing hath be­nefited me in my time 200. l. and so it may likewise doe thee: thus when the poore fellow saw there was no remedy, he held himself con­tent, [Page] and all that night pondred in his minde how to grow quittance with his master, so on y^• morrow when his Master had dispatched his businesse in the Town, and was set forward back againe towards London, he tarryed a little behind to reckon with the Hostis where he lay, and of her he borrowed as much mo­ney on his Masters cloake as came to all the charges that they spent by the way. M. Hob­son had not rode past 2. miles▪ but that it be­gan to rain, whereupon he called for his cloake of another servant that rode by, who said that it was behind with his fellow, who had it with him: so they tooke shelter under a tree, till he overtooke them; when he was come, M. Hob­son most angerly said: thou knave, why com­mest thou not away with my cloake: the fel­low answered▪ Sir and please you▪ I have laid it to pawn for your carges all the way; Why knave qd. M. Hobson, didst thou not promise to beare my charges to Bristow? did I quoth the fellow? yes, said M. Hobson, thou didst: shew me a writing thereof, saith the fellow, whereunto M. Hobson seeing himself so cun­ningly over reached, answered but little.

MAster Hobson on a time in company of one of his neighbors, rode from Lon­don towards S [...]urb [...]dge faire, so the first night [Page] of their journey they lodged at Ware in an Inne where great store of company was and in the morning when every man made him ready to ride and some were on horseback set­ting forward, the Citizen his neighbour found him sitting at the Inne gate booted and spur­red▪ in a browne study, to whom he said, for shame M. Hobson why sit you here, why doe you not make your selfe ready to horseback that we may set forward with company? M. Hobson replyed in this manner▪ I tarry (qd. he) for a good cause: for what cause quoth his neighbour: marry qd M. Hobson, here be so many horses, that I cannot tell which is my owne, and I know well, when every man is ridden and gon, the horse that remaineth be­hinde must needs be mine.

THere was a Farmer that lost 40. pounds betwixt Cambridge and London, and being so great a summe, he made proclamati­on in all market towns thereabout, that who­soever had found 45. l. should have the five pounds for his labour for finding it, and there­fore he put in the 5. l. more then was lost: it was M. Hob [...]ons fortune to finde the same summe of 40. l. and brought the same to the Bayliffe of Ware, and required the 5. l. for his paines, as it was proclaimed: when the [Page] Farmer understood this, and that he must needs pay five pounds for the finding, he said, that there was in y^• purse 45. l. and so weuld he have his moneey and five pounds over: so long they strove, that the matter was brought before a Iustice of peace, which was then one M. Fleetwood, who after was the Recorder of London: but when M. Fleetwood under­stood by the Bayliffe, that the proclamation was made for a purse of 45. l. he demanded where it was, here qd. the Baily, and gave it him: it is just [...]0. l. said M. Fleetwood; yes truly (qd. the Bayliffe:) here M. Hobson, said M. Fleetwood, take you this money for it is your owne, and if you chance to finde a purse of 45, l. bring it to this honest Farmer: thats mine▪ qd. the Farmer, for I lost just 40. l. you speake too late (qd. M. Fleetwood,) Thus the farmer lost the money, and Master Hobs [...]n had it according to justice.

THere dwelled not far from Mr. Hobson, two very ancient Women, the youngest of them both was abount 60. years of age, and upon a time sitting at the Taverne together▪ they grew at variance, which of them should be the youngest, as Women indéed desire t [...] be accounted younger then they be, in such [Page] manner that they layd a good supper, of the value of 20. s. for the truth thereof; M. Hob­son they agréed upon to be their Iudge of y^• difference: so after M▪ Hobson had know­ledge thereof, the one came to him, and as a present gave him a very faire pigeon pie worth some 5. s. desiring him to passe the verdit on her [...]: within a while after the other came: and gave M. Hobson a very faire greyhound, which kinde of dogges he much delighted in: praying him likewise to be favourable on her side, wherefore he gave judgement that the Woman that gave him the Grayhound was y^• younger▪ and so she won the supper of 20, s. which she perceiving, came to him and said, Sir, I gave you a Pidgion pye▪ and you pro­mised the verdite should goe on my side: to whom M. Hobson said, of a truth good wo­man, there came a Gray-hound into my house and eat up the pigeon pye, & so by that meanes I quite forgot thee.

MAster Hobsons wife carrying something a stately mind, and delighting in brave apparell, upon a time walking abroad with o­ther Women her neighbours▪ they espyed a paire of silke stockings upon her legs, and de­siring the like, never let their husbands to live quiet after, till they had silke stockings of the [Page] same fashion: so within a wéeke or two fol [...]lowing, their husbands came complaining t [...] M. Hobson, and said, Sir, (qd. one of them) [...] suffrance of your Wifes pride, hath spoyle [...] all ours, for since she hath worne silke stock [...]ing, our wives have grown so importunate that they must néeds have the like, and you are the chiefest cause in suffering her to weare the same: O good my neighbours (qd. M. Hob­son) I have great cause in doing so, and i [...] brings me much quietnesse, as how (qd. one of them, marry thus (neighbours) for seeing I cannot please her above the knee, I must needs please her below the knee, and the one­ly taing to please a woman is to let her have her will▪

UPon New-years day, M. Hobson sitting at dinner in a Poets company or as you may terme him, a writer of Histories there­came a poore man and presented him a couple of Orenges, which he kindly tool [...] [...] a New-yeers gift, and gave the poore man for the same an Angell of Gold and thereupon gave them to his Wife to lay up among other Iewels, considering they had likewise cost him an Angell▪ the which she did, the Poet sitting by, and marking the bounty of M. Hob­son [Page] for so small a matter, he went home an devi­sed a book containing 40. shéetes of paper, which which was halfe a yeare in writi [...]h, and came & gave it to M. Hobson in dedication, and thought in his minde, that he in the recompencing the poore man so much for an Orenge, would yeeld far more recompence for his booke, being so long in studying, M. Hobson tooke the Poets Booke thankfully, and perceiving he did it only for his bounty shewed for the Orange given him wiled his Wife to fetch the said Orenge, being then al­mow rotten, and gave to the Poet, saying here is a Iewell which cost me a thousand times the worth in Gold, therefore I thinke thou art well satisfied for thy books dedication: the Poet sée­ing this went his way ashamed.

MAster Hobson [...]eing still very good to the poore, and most bountifull to aged people, there came to him usually twice or thrice a week, [...] silly poore old blinde m [...]n to sing under his window, for whch he continually gave him 12. pence a time. M. Hobson having one of his ser­vants so churlish, and withall so covetous▪ that he would suffer the blind man to come no more unlesse he shared halfe his benefit, the which the blinde singing man was forc'd to give, rather then to lose all: after twice or thrise parting shares, M. Hobson had thereof intelligence, who consult­ing [Page] with the blind man, served his servant in this manner; still he looked for halfe whatsoever he got, so this at last was M. Hobsons gift, who gave commandement that the blind man should have for his singing thréescore jerks with a suf [...] ­cient Whip▪ and to be equally parted as the o­ther Gifts were the which were presently given; the blind mans was very easie▪ but M. Hobsons mans were very sound ones, so that every jerke drew blood, after this he never sought to diminish his Masters bounty.

IN Chri [...]mas holy-dayes when M. Hobsons Wife ha [...] many pies in the Oven▪ one of his servants had stole one of them out, and a [...] y^• Ta­verne had merrily eaten it: it fortune [...] [...] day, some of his servants [...]ined with him, and one of the best pies were missing▪ the stealer [...]hereof after dinner he found out in [...] ▪ he [...]a [...]ed all his servants in friendly [...] to the hall, and [...]aused each of them to drinke one to another, [...]oth Wine Ale and [...] ▪ till they were all drunke, then caused he a table to be furnished with very good cheare, whereat he likewise pleased them; being set altogether, he said▪ why [...]it you not down [...]fellowes, we be set already qd. they▪ Nay qd. M. Hobson ▪ he that stole the pie is not yet [...] that I doe, quoth he that stole it, by which meames he knew what was then become of the pye, for the poore fel­low [Page] being drunke could not keepe his owne secrets.

UUpon a time when M. Hobson lay sick, and in very great paine there came unto him a D. of Physick that told him he could not escape, but must néeds dye of that sicknesse. M. Hobson a while after, not by the D. helpe, but by the will of God recovered, and was whole of his disease, yet was he very low, and bare brought and as he walked forth one day▪ he met the said D. which doubting whether he was the sick man or no, said are not▪ you Sir, the man called M. Hobson? yes truly; (qd. he) are you alive or dead, said the D. I am dead qd. M. Hobson: what doe you here then said the Doctor? I am here qd. M▪ H [...]b [...]o [...] ▪ because I have experience in many Earthly things, and God hath sent me to the World a­gaine, with a commandement to take up all phy­sitions I can get, and send them thither to him, which made him look pale, M. Hobson séeing this, said unto him, feare not M, Doctor, though I said all Physitians, you are none; & there is no man that hath wit, will take you for one, therefore you are not in my charge: farewell.

IN the Reigne of Q Mary, when this Land was builded with superstition, there was a po­ [...]ish Frier that made an Oration in the Ch [...]ter [...]ouse yard, where many [...] [Page] of people, [...] heare the same Oration, [...] which number, there sate M. Hobson, which much ext [...]lling him that was then Pope of Rome, com­paring him to St. Peter, for in degree he [...] him above all the holy Fathers in time [...], [...]s Doctors, Martirs, Prophets, yea [...] more then Prophets, John Baptists: then (said he) in what high place shall we place this go [...] man, what place I say, to [...]it for him, or where shall he [...]it? M. Hobson hearing him speake so pro [...]i [...]e­ly▪ and sitting among the Audience, start [...]p and said, if thou canst finde no other place, set him here in my place, for I am weary, and so went his way.

THere was a Knight dwelling in London, that for the death of his Wife would not be comforted, nor of many dayes was once séene to smile; upon a time the Chamberlaine to this Knight, being in company with M. Hobson, laid a Wager of 40. shillings with him, that he should not make the Knight laugh by any meanes that he could doe, whereupon the match was made, and the money staked down, for the winning of the same. M. Hobson gets him an ill favoured Masty bitch almost starved, and fills her belly with so much butter-milke and whay ▪ that sh [...] [...] to burst: so comming into the presenc [...] [Page] on the mouth and nose▪ that through the stopping of her winds, and her belly being so overcharged with buttermilke▪ that so strained her, that [...] filled all the Knights Chamber: hereat y^e Cham­berlaine grew so angry, that he said he would make old Hobson make it cleane▪ or put hi [...] nose into it: not so Chamberlaine, said M. Hobson, I will not take your office out of your hand, for it is your duty to make cleane the chamber: here­at the Knight laughed very heartily, and so M. Hobson won the Wager of the Chamberlaine.

UPon a time M. Hobson lying in S. Albones, there came certain Musitians to play at his chamber doore, to the intent as they filled his eares with their musick, he should fill their pur­ses with money: where when he had one of the servants of the Inne (that waited upon him) to goe and tell them, that he could not then indure to heare their musick, for he mourned for the death of his mother, so the Musitians disappoint­ed of their purpose, went sadly all away. The fellow heard him speake of mourning, asked him how long agoe it was since he bured his mother, truly qd. M. Hobson it is now very neere forty yeeres agoe▪ the fellow understanding very well his subtilty and how wittily he sent away the Musitians, laughed very heartily.

VPon a time M. Hobson being in company of a London Alderman ▪ and being merrily disposed took [...] pounds of the said Alderman, upon this c [...]ndition, that if he made not a Cow to spake in ten yeares, and to read perfect Eng­lish, he would have for the same a hundred: the match being made▪ with in few dayes after came one of his Neighbours and said he was unwise, and that he undertook a thing impossible, & that every body laughed hm to scor [...]: to whom M. Hobson smiled and said, neighbour, I am no­thing afraid of loosing my hundred, for in the space of ten yeares, either I, the Cow, or else M. Alderman may dye.

MAster Hobson had a servant so covetous, and withall so simple witted, that all the money he could get together hid in the Ground, of the which M. Hobson having some intelligence, [...]ell a conjuring in this manner; with a Wand he so belaboured my young man that he present­ly revealed where it lay: the which sum of mo­ney M. Hobson tooke quite away all, saving a small summe; the which the poore fellow put to so good a use in bying and selling that in short time he greatly increased it: When M. Hobson understood what he had done▪ & what good use he put his money to, he said, Sirra, you can tell [...]ow to use money, an [...] learne to make prophet [Page] thereof, I will restore to thee all againe, and so he did, which made the fellow ever after a good husband.

VPon a time M. Hobson dined with a compa­ny of merry fellowes, amongst whom there was one that found much fault with his merry jests, and as the company [...]at laughing and sport­ing together, they asked one another which was the most reverent part of a mans body one said the eye and another said the nose, another said the hand; but M. Hobson said the mouth was the most reverent part. Marry said the fellow that was the finde-fault, the part that we sit on is y^e most reverent part: and because the company marvelled why he made this reason, marry (qd. the fellow, he is most reverent among the com­mon people, that is first still set▪ which saying contented them all, and caused much laughter amongst them; and he that spoke it was not a little proud of his saying, in that he had over­come (as he thought in wit) M. Hobson: this passed on, the next night following, they were bidden againe to suprer to the same place, where M. Hobson remembred the f [...]rmer jest of this scoffing fellow: thereupon he turned his back­side toward him, and saluted him with a great fart against his face, the fellow dis [...]aning his rude salutation, said, ill nurtur' [...] old Knave, where wast thou brought up? why disdainest [Page] [...] [Page] [...] [Page] thou this (qd. M. Hobson) if I had saluted thee with my mouth, thou wouldst have found fault, as an inferiour part and now I greet thee with that part of my body, which by thine own say­ing is the most reverent, thou art displeased; thus [...]at M. Hobson againe the praise that he had lost before, & the poore fellow was laughed at of the whole company.

UPon a time, when M. Hobson had sore eyes another Physitian came to him thinking to have some recompence for his counsell, warning him that he should in any case forbeare drinking, or else by the same lose his eyes: to whom M. Hobson said, it is much more pleasure for me to lose my eyes with drinking, then to keepe them for worms to eate them up. Another time a Physitian came to M. Hobson and said, Sir, you looke well, and grie [...]e at nothing and have a healthfull countenance. Thus (qd. M Hobson) for I have not to doe with any Physitians, nor with Physick: to whom he replyed, Sir, said he, you have no cause to blame the Physitian▪ for his Physick ne [...]er did you hurt. Thou sayest true qd. M. Hob [...]on) for if I had proved Physick, I had not [...] here alive. Another Physitian came to him on a time and said, Sir, you be a ve [...]y old man: very true, (quoth M. Hobson) for [...] wert never my Physitian: such manner [Page] of cheks and [...]louts would he still give to them that spake to him of physick, for in his life he ne­ [...]er tooke any.

VPon a time in London, when great plagues was suspected to come, the common people went daily in great number to Physitians to prevent it, M· Hobson seeing their simplicity, and the doubt they had of Gods mercie, went a­bout to hinder the Physitians, whereupon he not onely gave out speeches to his neghbours, but in most parts of the City, saying, that he had little writings fast sealed up, had such a vertue, that whosoever bore it hanging about his neck 15. daies should not die of y^e plague: the foolish people trusting hereupon every one after his power, gave him money for a [...]rowle or writing sealed up, with a thred of silke about it, charging them that they should not open it, till it hung about their necks for the space of fifteene daies, for if they tooke it away afore that time, it was of no vertue. Within a while after, the desire of folks was to know the contents of these writings: so in opening of them they found these li [...]es writ: y^• womens charme for the plague was this,

[Page] [...] to such men that were so simple-witted as to beleeve his merry perswasions▪ and thereup­on would fondly bestow their mony, he gave like­wise this charme in writing:

This was all the skill that M. Hobson had & the greatest helpe he could teach them: but this merry medicine of his made the ruder sort more wise, and not after that time so vainly to cast a­way their money.

MAster Hobson and another of his neigh­bours on a time walking to Southwarke faire, by chance drunke in a house at the signe of S. Christopher, of the whch sign the Good man of the house gave this commendation, S. Chri­stopher (qd. he) when he lived upon earth, bore the greatest burthen that ever was, which was this, he bore Christ over a river: nay there was one (qd. M. Hobson) that bore a greater burden: who was that (qd. the In-keeper) marry (qd. M. Hobson) the Asse that bore both him and his mo­ther: so was the In-keeper ca [...]led Asse by craft. After this talking merrily together, the aforesaid In-keeper being a little whitled, or gone with drinke, and his head so giddy, that he▪ fell into y^e fire, people standing by, ran suddenly and tooke [Page] riuer, nay there was one (quoth M. Hob­son) that bore a greater burthen, who was that (quoth the In-keeper) marry, quoth M. Hobson, the asse that bore both him and his mother: so was the In-kée­per called asse by craft. After this tal­king merrily together, the aforesaid In-keeper beeing a little whi [...]tled, or gone with drinke, and his head so giddy that he fell into the fire, people standing by, ran sodainly and tooke him vp, oh let him alone (quoth M. Hobson) a man may do what he will in his owne house, and lye wheresoeuer he listeth; the man hauing little hurt, with this fright grew imme­diately sober, and afterward foxe [...] M. Hobson & his neighbour so exceedingly, that comming ouer London bridg, being very late, ran against one of the chaine-posts, at which M. Hobson thinking tt to be some man that had iustled him, drew out his dudgion dagger, and thrust it vp euen to the very hilts into the hollow post, wherupon verily he had thought he had killed some man: so running away was taken by the watch, and so all the [...]est was discouered:

VPon a time M. Hobson had arested one of my Lord Maiors kinsmen for a certaine debt [...]wing him, and being in the Counter, my Lord Maior sent one of his Officers for to intreat M. Hobson to be fauorable & kind vnto his kinsman, tel­ling a long tale, and to little purpose, whom Mast. Hobson answered in this maner: my friend (quoth he) what thou saidst in the beginning I doe not like of, and what was in the middle I doe not wel remember, and for thy conclusion, I vnderstand it not: and this was all the fauour M. Hobson shewed to my Lord Maiors kinsman.

THis M. Hobson on a time had a ser­uant that was full of words, and too much talkatiue, beeing offended there­with hee gaue him in charge, to say no­thing, and to answere to that he was de­manded and no more: so vpon a day M. [Page] Hobson made a great dinner, and sent his said seruant some two dayes before to invite an Alderman of London there­vnto, so vpon the day when dinner time came, all the gu [...]sts staid for the Alder­mans comm [...]ng till two of the clocke, and at last M. Hobson said vnto his seruant: didst thou bid M. Alderman to dinner? yes truely said hee, why commeth he not then, quoth M. Hobson? quoth the fel­low, he said he could not: why [...]oldst thou mee not so, quoth M. Hobson? because said the fellow you did not ask me? Here­vpon (though long first) they went all to dinner, and being merry together drin­king of Wine, there came in a certaine Russian and stole one of the fairest sil­uer cups away: the which the fellow sée­ing, said neuer a word but let him goe, which when M. Hobson missed, hee de­maunded of his seruant where it was: Sir, quoth the fellow, a theefe came in and stole it away: why didst thou not stay him (quoth M. Hobson?) marry sir, quoth he, because he asked no question of me: after this, M. Hobson noting the simplenesse of his seruant, let him haue his tongue at frée liberty.

IN the raigne of Q. Mary when great superstition was vsed in England, as creeping to the crosse, worshipping of I­mages, and such like: it was Mast. Hob­sons chance amongst other people to bee in the Church, and kneeling to an I­mage to pray, as it was then vsed, the same Image by some mishap fell downe on M. Hobson and broke his head, vpon which occasion hee came not thither in halfe a yeare after, but at length by the procurement of his neighbours hee came to the Church again, and because he saw his neighbours knéele before the same I­mage, hee knéeled downe likewise, and said thus, well I may cap and knéele to thee, but thou shalt neuer haue my heart againe so long as I liue: meaning for the broken head it had giuen him.

ON a time M. Hobson vpon some oca­sion came to M. Fleetwoods house [Page] to speak with him being then new chosen the Recorder of London, and asked one of his men if he were within, he said hee was not at home, but M. Hobson percei­uing that his maister bad him say so, and that he was within not being willing (at that time) to be spoken withall, for that time dissembling the matter he went his way: Within a few dayes after it was M. Fleetwoods chance to come to Maist. Hobsons, and knocking at the door, asked if he were within: M. Hobson hearing and knowing how he was denyed Mast. Fleetwoods speech before time, spake himselfe aloud and said: he was not at home; then said M. Fleetwood, what M. Hobson think you that I know not your voice, whereunto M. Hobson answered and said: Now M. Fleetwood I am quit with you: for when I came to speake with you, I beleeued your man that said you were not at home, and now you wil not beleeue mine owne selfe: and this was the merry conference betwixt these two merry Gentlemen.

VPon a time, what with age, and misdieting himselfe he took so great a sicknesse, that he grew in danger of death, wherevpon a Scriuener dwelling by was sent for, who sauoring somewhat of the po [...]ish religiō, councelled M. Hob­son to take the Sacrament, which is, said the Scriuener, the very body and bloud of Iesus Christ: to whom M. Hobson re­plied being then vpō a Fryday, oh neigh­bor (quoth he) I will eate no flesh on fa­sting dayes: the Scriuener hearing him­selfe flouted of the sicke man, moued to him no further questions, but fell to ma­king of his Will, as followeth.

IN the name of God Amen: I Maister Hobson the merry Londoner, whole of mind, but sicke of body, do here make my last will and testament, in manner and forme following. First I giue my soule [Page] to God, [...]or that is his: my life to death, for he spares no man: and my body to the worms, for thats their nourishment: al my lands, tenements and moueables, to my wife and children, reseruing a few legasies, which I meane to bestow on the World.

I giue to all Gentlemen such a desire of pride, that shortly an outlandish bro­ker by them, shall be held more in request then an English [...]aylor, and that Lon­don Citizens shall grow wealthy by the fall of riotous Courtiers: also I giue and bequ [...]ath to London Merchant wi [...]es, that they shall carry the mindes of La­dies of the Court, euery moneth sicke of a new fashion. Also I bequeath that Country Farmers wiues shall be in the fashion of the horne buske, and silke gir­dles. Likewise, to Chamber-maides, and waiting Gentlewomen, I giue all my huge poaking stickes, and French periwigs: But as for my smaller sort of poaking stickes▪ I bequeath to the modest sort o [...] Citizens wiues. Also I bequeath to all [...]nches aboue thirtene yeares of age, gold Hat [...]ands, change­able fore-parts, [...]nd silke girdles▪ and [Page] to young married men, I giue all my yel­low garters: points and shoe-strings, all of a sutable colour: and to Kitchen maids that scowre pots, and scrape trenchers, all my washt gloues and silke laces: and to all country dairy wenches, that ride to London markets with cream and but­ter-milke, all my maskes, wyer-busks, and silke coloured scarfes: and to con­clude, to all England I bequeath the pride and fashions of all other Nations: and if any will further vnderstand what other gifts old Hobson the merry Londo­ner hath bestowed, inquire at his graue at S. Mildreds Church in the Poultry in London, where he now lieth buried.