But wicked men are a Contradiction to themſelves; — 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 —Plut vit. Craſſ. and their Wickedneſs has made them ſo. They deſire Reſt in the midſt of Perturbation; and Joy in the Operation of the Cauſes of Sorrow. But who can avoid thoſe Deſires, when he even feels that the perfection of Happineſs, or the extremity of Miſery muſt inſtantly befall him? ſuch Diſtreſs and Perplexity does a Man's Wickedneſs bring him unto; becauſe the Conſequences of his Sin, are contrary to the ſtrongeſt Inſtinct of his Nature. The wicked Man knows what the Hope of the Righteous is, in his Death; Prov. 14.32. and what muſt be his own portion at his laſt End. The wicked alſo deſires, on his own behalf, that he might die the Death, and that his laſt End might be like unto that of the Righteous.

Thus wicked Men deſire they may at laſt, have the Reward of the Righteous without being Righteous. They deſire to eſcape that Miſery which their Sin has made neceſſary, and they deſire to obtain that Happineſs which their Sins have made impoſſible. So inconſiſtent are the Choices and the Wiſhes of bad Men, that while they chuſe Death, in chuſing Sin; they deſire to obtain Life and Happineſs, notwithſtanding that Choice. They would be happy, and yet refuſe that, without which, no Man can be happy: they would not be miſerable, and yet make themſelves ſuch as cannot be otherwiſe.

All this is done by ſinfull Men, i. e. by thoſe who are endowed with Reaſon and Foreſight, and can be aſtoniſhed at infinitely leſs Abſurdities in other matters. They can decry and wonder at the Folly of thoſe who deſire to be Rich, and practiſe what is impoveriſhing; who deſire to be honoured, and do what is infamous. What Infatuation then is it for the ſame Men obſtinately to chuſe the neceſſary cauſes of Miſery, and as obſtinately to wiſh for the Enjoyment of Happineſs? Remember this, and bring it again to mind, O ye Tranſgreſſors; conſider and ſhew your ſelves Men. Such palpable Contradiction there is between the Deſires and the Choices of Sinners, through the whole Courſe of their Lives: and the frequent Admonitions of God and Men concerning this, muſt needs prove, at laſt, one of the moſt afflicting Remembrances, that is poſſible. This will exaſperate the Torments of Hell; to call to mind, That all his days, the Sinner did with equal Paſſionateneſs, chuſe Deſtruction, and wiſh for Salvation. Thus the Deſires which are in Wicked Men, of the Portion of the Righteous, have a reſpect to what is to come: and ſo wicked Men wiſh at laſt, That they might eſcape the Miſery due unto Sin; and that they might obtain that Happineſs which is the Reward of Obedience.

2ly. The Deſire of this Portion by wicked Men, has a Reſpect to what is paſt, and ſo wicked Men ſhall wiſh, 1. That they had refuſed the Sin they choſe: And, 2. That they had choſen the Duty they refuſed.

1. Wicked Men ſhall wiſh at laſt, that they had refuſed the Sin they choſe. At the time of their Account, and at all other times, in which wicked Men are conſiderate, and have their final State in diſtinct View, they wiſh (with the utmoſt Impatience) that they had refuſed the Sin they choſe, becauſe, ſo they had refuſed Death, Deut. 30.15, 19. in refuſing Sin (which is the meritorious Cauſe of Death.) Life and Death were ſet before them in this World, and then they made their Choice, which they muſt abide by for ever. They had indeed a Liberty while they lived here of Retractation: they might have corrected the Choice which was bad, by making one that was good. Thoſe Sinners who had choſen Sin and Death, had a Liberty, and were under an Obligation to repent, and to chuſe Life and live. But that Liberty did not continue longer than the time of their Probation: this Life, and this Liberty ended together. When this time is at an end, that Choice which was made in it, muſt be ſtood to; and there is no correcting that Choice after Death * Math. 25.11, 12, 13.: I had almoſt ſaid, nor at it † Diſtulet in ſeram commiſſa piacula mortem. Virg. Aen. 1.6.. But altho' a Sinner has ſpent all that time in which he ſhould have avoided his fooliſh and pernicious Choices, or at leaſt, ſhould have corrected them; yet he cannot avoid at laſt repenting that he has choſen ſo ill for himſelf, and wiſhing (without end, and without Patience) that he had refuſed the Sin he choſe, becauſe in ſo doing, he had alſo refuſed that Death he ſuffers. The periſhing Sinner has not only his Choice of Sin to repent of, Prov. 1.24, &c. but alſo his Obſtinacy in chuſing it: and that no conſideration could withhold him from making of, and perſiſting in that Choice.

Yea (which is a ſpecial Aggravation of his Fault and Folly) he did in this Life, often repent in that Kind, though not in that Degree, in which he ſhall repent at laſt. He who in the Hour of Death, and in that Eternity which is after it; repents (wiſhing he had never choſen Sin) ſhall then remember, that thoſe Wiſhes are not the firſt he made of this kind: that he did before this, wiſh he had never done ſuch things, as he periſhes for. The laſt, and the endleſs Repentings of a Sinner in Hell, will be aggravated by his Remembrance, that he often ſo repented upon Earth. He ſhall at the ſame inſtant cry out, O that I had never done ſuch Sins! and ſhall then alſo call to mind, that he had ſo expreſſed himſelf in his Repentings upon Earth. Had he (while he was on Earth) from the time that he made ſuch Wiſhes (with ſtinging Remorſe) That he had never been in ſuch Company, in which he committed his Sin; that he had never ſeen the Face of ſuch an one, by whom he was perſuaded to ſin: that he had rather have loſt any Good or ſuffered any Evil at the time, than been Guilty of ſuch Wickedneſs. Had he (I ſay) then been conſtant to thoſe wiſe and neceſſary Reflections; he had thence forward refuſed Sin. And if he had done ſo, he would have remembred thoſe Repentings with Joy. But, whereas he was ſo far convinced of his Sin, and ſo apprehenſive of the Conſequences of it, while he lived, as to wiſh (ſometimes in great Agonies of Mind) that he had never done it. And afterward (perhaps under the Uneaſineſs of remembring how he repented) again choſe the ſame Sin: theſe Repentings and theſe Wiſhes, he that is wicked, ſhall never be able to forget in Eternity; and never be able, without Torment, to remember. Prov. 5.11, 12, 13. Certain 'tis, no Sinner can avoid wiſhing in Hell, that he had never committed thoſe Sins which brought him thither. We know now, that it muſt be thus then, Rom. 6.21. why ſhould we now chuſe that, which we ſhall even wiſh (with the utmoſt Paſſion) we had never refuſed? Conſider this, when any Temptation offers it ſelf; and make a ſtand, till this conſideration be well weighed: That if I chuſe this Sin for this Pleaſure or Profit, I ſhall often before I die, and at Death (if I have my Senſes and Underſtanding;) and in Eternity, as long as I have a Being, wiſh I had never done it.

2. Wicked Men ſhall at laſt wiſh they had choſen that Duty they refuſed: and wiſh they had choſen it whatever had befallen them, or could have befallen them for ſo doing. Here, the Suffering of Perſecution, or Reproach from Sinners: the miſſing that Benefit which Sin could procure; and the undergoing that Trouble which Duty did imply, or might occaſion, was the Reaſon why they did not repent and obey the Commandments of God. Sinners were unwilling to deny their vicious Inclinations or their vicious Company; were unwilling to be at the Trouble which Repentance and Mortification would bring with them; and therefore they would not chuſe their Duty, Deut. 32.47. though in ſo doing, they had choſen Life. Sinners chuſe, notwithſtanding, at the ſame time, to loſe any good, or to ſuffer any evil, to preſerve their Natural Lives: Yea, they did this when they were uncertain, whether ſuch Loſſes and Sufferings would preſerve their Lives or no: when it might ſo happen, that by thoſe very Endeavours to preſerve Life, they might loſe it. The deſires of natural Life, are ſo natural, that any thing ſhall be choſen for the ſake of it. Job 2.4. Skin for Skin, yea all that a Man hath, will he give for his Life. Yea a Sinner would (to ſave his natural Life) do much of that Duty which is neceſſary to eternal Life. Let it be manifeſt to him, who is moſt Intemperate, that there is Poiſon in the Wine, and he will not taſt it. Let it be certain, that a violent ſtroke will cut off his Life that ſeizeth upon what is his Neighbours, and the moſt covetous Perſon will not touch it. But no Oath to confirm a Threatning, no Anger to incite an Enemy to the Execution of it, no Sword drawn, and Hand ſtretched forth for that purpoſe, make Death ſo certain, as does the Wrath of God declared from Heaven againſt all Ungodlineſs and Unrighteouſneſs of Men. Rom. 1.18. This Declaration of God is often and expreſsly repeated in his Word; is continually preach'd and proclaim'd by his Miniſters: We ſee this in the Holy Scriptures; we hear it with our Ears, and why ſhould not our Hearts be affected with this? And our Lives govern'd by it. A Man ſtands over us, with the Wrath of an Enemy, and with the Inſtruments of Death, and ſays, Do this, or die: and we do it, nor dare we do otherwiſe. But God ſays, (with a Voice more terrible than that of Thunder on Mount Sinai) I am Jehovah thy God; thou ſhalt do ſo or ſo; or thou ſhalt not do this or that. And we are inſenſible, Iſa. 51.12. and follow the Imaginations of our own Hearts.

But we ſhall not be able to maintain this Stupidity for ever: we ſhall not be able to avoid the moſt dreadfull Reflections on what we have done, that are poſſible. We ſhall, when our Hearts are convinced by the Word of God, or by the Flames of Hell, wiſh with the utmoſt Regret and Horror, that we had never ſtood out one moment againſt the Calls and Commands of God: that we had never in one particular refuſed to obey him. All thoſe conſiderations that prevailed with us, in the day of Temptation; to omit, (if not to contemn) our neceſſary Duty, will be remembred with Abomination. That which we feared, or that which we deſired, and through thoſe Paſſions, violated our Duty, and neglected our Salvation, ſhall be called to Mind, with unſpeakable Remorſe. The Sinner ſhall wonder at himſelf, and reproach himſelf, 2 Cor. 7.11. and be ready to take Vengeance upon himſelf, that he was ſo little regardfull of God, in whoſe hands our Breath is, and whoſe are all our ways.

The Sinner, Job 12.11. who ſtands upon the Brink of Eternity, or who is plunged into that vaſt Ocean, ſhall remember how very ſmall Portions of his time thoſe were, which he ſpent in the Service of his God, and in Care for his Soul: and ſhall Wiſh in vain, Amos 8.5. that time could return; that he had the Day of Grace in his Power again, that ſo he might (with thoſe Thoughts that now ſwallow him up) improve the Opportunities of performing his Duty, and Working out his Salvation. But, Time cannot be ſet back; nothing will then be poſſible, but direfull Remembrances of Time miſ-ſpent, Heb. 3.8, 15. & 4.7. and as direfull Reflections upon its being irrecoverable. That Work which is undone then, muſt be undone for ever: And who can call to mind, how unpracticably, and how perniciouſly he has lived, to himſelf, Heb. 2.3. (neglecting the great Salvation) without unexpreſſible Horror? This will be the Caſe of every Sinner at the laſt, who ſhall then Wiſh he had ever refuſed that Sin he choſe; and ever choſen that Duty he refuſed.

Thus we ſee what the Wiſhes of Sinners are, in the day of their Extremity, and Senſibleneſs, whether They look forward on what is to come (of the Happineſs of the Righteous; or the Miſery of the Wicked,) 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 . Hierocl.) or whether He looks backward upon what is paſt, (the Sin he has committed, or the Duty he has violated.) But in vain, and to their Torment, do wicked Men Wiſh they might Obtain that Happineſs, or Avoid that Miſery: That they had Forſaken their Sin, or Performed their Duty.