THE matchlesse rare Case, and in that kinde un­paralleld trouble of that sometime worthy Gen­tlewoman, M^rs Ioan Drake of famous memory, wife of Francis Drake late of Esher Esquire; with the glorious and strange conclusi­on the Lord made with her, (I believe the like never read nor heard of) was the cause of wri­ting [Page 2]this ensuing discourse Whose Case and trouble of ten years continuance being so rare and seldome met with; for that the Relation thereof might per­haps help some hard-hearted mourning Creatures hereafter, to gather heart and strength, not to despaire (how desperate soever their Case may seeme ei­ther to themselves or others to be) I have therefore by Gods help, and for the comfort of such, under­taken to set down here, for the glory of God, and confusion of Satan (her maine strong enemy) her Case, and cause thereof, with the progresse and issue of all, as briefly as possibly I could, to re­maine as a pertuall monument whilst time lasts, of Gods great goodnesse and infinite mercies even to the most hard-hearted and [Page 3]miserable that may be. To the end, that as it was said by Iames of Iob and his Case, Behold the Patience of Job, and what end the Lord made; so it may likewise hereafrer be said of this good woman, Behold the hardnesse of heart, stiffnesse and stoutnesse of M^rs Drake for a long time rejecting all meanes in a long continuance, and what a comforta­ble end the Lord made with her. Wherefore it being a discourse full of windings and turnings, fraught with many of Satans sub­tilties and intricate multifarious tentatious, wherein Proteus like, he according unto the occasion, changed shapes, to have over­thrown this good Gentlewoman; all the ends whereof cannot (be­cause of the variety and strang­nesse) easily be knit together: I doe entreat the Readers patience [Page 4]to beare with me, if sometimes I seeme to loose my selfe, or be too tedious, or for want of memory and multiplicity of matter be en­forced sometimes to bring Hyste­ron Proteron: But howsoever the businesse, if largely related, might fill up a very great volumne, I in­tend only as I am able, to gather together some of the most speciall materiall things, knitting them as briefly as may be together; seeing by Gods mercy I was made an un­worthy Instrument of her recove­ry, and an eye-witnessing Actor in all her Tragick-Comedy: (Not daring but to erect this Trophee of eternall thankfulnesse for her) in imitation of former Wor­thies in their deliverances; I was enforced and durst not but thus vent the businesse of her rare Case, unto succeeding Posterity.

First, we will shew how shee was 1 set upon and assaulted in the night with fear and horror, with her fore­going disposition, character, and what fore-runners ushered this her distemper which raised so great a storme.

Secondly, By what strange 2 meanes, and way, the Lord made the Relater an unworthy Instrument, to have compassion on her, and finde her out, helping to furnish her with the Instrument and meanes of her recovery; and what entertain­ment shee gave that meanes at his first comming unto her, and after, untill the time that shee revealed the Devils counsell, was contented to live, and use the meanes having any hope to be saved.

Thirdly, Her deportment and 3 carriage from this fornamed time, untill a little before her death.

4 Fourthly, The preparation unto her death, with the strange manner how the Lord revealed himselfe unto her, before the same, the like never heard of.

1. For the first, shee was the daughter of that worthy Gentle­man William Totle Esquire, one of the six Clerks of Chancery, his only Heire apparant, being likely to have enjoyed all his fortunes which were very great, according whereunto shee had all the excel­lent breeding, which is usuall, and befitted a Gentlewoman issued from such worthy Parents, whose too great indulgence towards her in her youth (by her own confes­sion) occasioned so much sorrow unto her in her riper years, recei­ving then no correction at all.

Shee was of a low well compact­ed stature,Her cha­racter. of a lovely browne [Page 7]complexion, having a full nimble quick Sparrow-hawke eye, of a naturall joviall constitution, ac­cidentally melancholy, full of love, curtesie, mercy and meeknesse, affable in conversation, with a deep and nimble quick pleasant present wit, tender-hearted, free and bountifull, in nothing covetous but of grace: the freest alive from all hypocrisie, unlesse it were to bely her selfe, wearing her worst side outmost, being plaine, true and tender open-hearted, modest, easily drawn with love and good words; but if opposed, stout, stern and inflexible, using the out­ward contentments of the times, yet in a very indifferent, modest, in­offensive way, resolute in her un­dertakings, valewing even then reall goodnesse where shee saw it in any without hypocrisie, [Page 8]detesting shewes without sub­stance: though then shee were not acquainted with the power of god­linesse, yet had shee it in admira­tion, where she saw it shine forth, so as though sometimes in a little mirth, she would vex and jest with the supposed worser sort, who at good times came to her of her neighbours; yet those who were in her judgement right, she used thus farre to open her selfe unto her waiting woman touching them, in this strange presaging manner.

Doest thou see these people, some of whom I doe so jeare at and vex? of my conscience I shall one day 'ere I die, bee one of them; for those of them who are right, are the only happy souls, which was a strange prediction of her (even then when shee was so farre from, and con­trary [Page 9]unto them) as afterwards it came to passe.

Gods providence, and her Pa­rents 1 pleasure,Cause of her me­lancholy. appointed unto her a Match, but such a one (though he was a worthy fine Gentleman of good birth, parts and fortunes) yet whom at first shee could not affect, so as she was married against her will (a great over-sight in Pa­rents) which first bred in her the foundation of those stormes and tempests, which in time were in danger to have overthrown her. Wherein though shee were obe­dient and dutifull unto her Pa­rents; yet it stuck close unto her, though her strength of spirit and joviall temper endevoured with all her strength to have shaken it off, out-worn it, and by all meanes to have out-faced it, without sem­blance of discontent, by merry [Page 10]company and divers journeyes (which usually divert melancholy thoughts) as though there had been no such matter. But griefe being like unto fire, which though for a time smothered, yet could not long bee concealed, her discon­tents did secretly work upon her a habit of sadnesse in midst of her mirth with her friends, as Salomon shewes that even in laughter the heart may be sad.

2 Cause of her di­stemper. About this time not long af­ter her marriage she was brought to bed of a daughter (a dear daugh­ter unto her) because in that deli­very being much wronged by her Midwiffe, shee was ever after troubled with fumes and scurvie vapors mounting up unto her head, which bred in her for the most part a continuall head-ach, like unto a megrum, together with [Page 11]somewhat like unto a fire continu­ally burning at her stomack, which no physick could remove, or was not Gods pleasure it should; the which drew her towards a more constant constitution of sadnesse and distemper, though yet with her usuall strength of spirit and chear­full disposition, shee out-faced, as though all had been well. But a fire of discontent being kindled full of sad thoughts in her; which bred and encreased all the time she lay in of her daughter; thus shortly after it fell out, That

Her Father and Mother being very indulgent towards her in this Case, and both of them being with her, when at a time she was ill at her House at Esher in Surrey; her Mother to comfort and heart­en her up, then lying one night with her; It came to passe that in [Page 12]the fore-part of the night shee fel [...] asleep, but not long after fell ou [...] into terrible shricks & out-crye [...] to this purpose, that shee was un­done, The first grand tempest shee en­dured. undone, shee was damned, an [...] a cast away, and so of necessity mus [...] needs goe to Hell, and therewith shook, dropt down with sweat, an [...] wept exceedingly: Wherewith he [...] good Mother Mrs Totle much troubled, being a very religious tender-hearted Gentlewoman, did give her many good and comfor­table exhortations, to be quiet, to trust in God; not to believe illu­sions, telling her, that the Devill was a liar, and so fell a praying with her,A strange change. shee being in shew well recovered and pacified. Which being past, she fell asleep againe, and wakened as full of extraordi­nary joyes, as formerly shee had been of terrors; rejoycing exceed­ingly, [Page 13]and then told her Mother, What a wonderfull comfortable dreame shee had been in, and bow from an Angel she was assured of her salvation; that now all her former feares shee saw were false, now she would doubt no more, being assured to goe unto Heaven; and so prayed againe with her Mo­ther.

Some houres after this she fell asleep againe for an houre and more (as her Mother told the Re­lator) but at her awaking was now in a more fearfull case then ever,The tempest begins roughly. in a fearefull trembling and sweat, shaking exceedingly and crying out, That now shee was a forelorne creature, being assuredly damned, without hope of mercy, without all remedy, confident that shee must needs goe unto hell; with shricks and loud Cryes, the bed shaking, [Page 14]yea, the whole chamber seeming [...] rock and reele: Which breeding to her Mother, much fear, amaze­ment and grief, in that it was no [...] past her skill to fasten upon h [...] daughter any thing which migh [...] allay, comfort, or quiet her distem­per shee now was in. In which w [...] ­full posture shee still continued notwithstanding all the comfort or perswasions vented either b [...] her Mother or any others; a [...] which were in vaine, there bein [...] joyned with her, sadnesse and di­stemper, some out-rage now an [...] then, abstinence from meat a [...] much as might be; strange despe­rate speeches, unruly carriage, fa [...] from her former naturall consti­tution: sometime slighting and laughing at all said unto her, they now not daring to trust her alone but to have her watched continu­ally [Page 15]night and day by two Gentle­women by turns, most of the bolts and locks being taken off in the roomes, lest Satan should have circumvented them. Shee in the meane time all this while living in much discontent, against her will, but that she was so watcht and tended, that shee could by no meanes hurt her selfe, never left alone, but over-awed with O­verseers who were jealous of her ruine. In this Case shee with much adoe was brought to eat, but sparingly, very musing and silent; but when she was by her Husband, Father or Mother, much urged to the contrary; who by their autho­rity only prevailed much with her: now at length growing desperate­ly hopelesse, refusing all meanes, slighting and scorning to speake with any Ministers, all who came [Page 16]to her, shee shaking them off, a [...] wee see a great Mastiffe to turn off many small Curres; laughing at them, and sending them away with much derision and discon­tent; which shee of purpose de­lighted to doe, so to discourage all of them, that they might have no minde to return again: So a [...] shee wearied out all who came un­to her, who left her as a creature hopelesse of recovery. In which sad Posture, now in her own eyes and most of others, hopelesse and helplesse, being the astonishment of Husband, Father, Mother, and of all her friends; wee will now for a while leave her unto he [...] keepers, to shew in the next place, the second thing propounded; How strangely the Lord caused the Relater to bee a meanes to finde her out, bring one of a thousand un­to [Page 17]her, and what strange entertain­ment she gave him at his first com­ming unto her, to declare unto her, both what her iniquity, and righ­teousnesse was.

As by Gods good Providence 2 the Relater was one day at dinner in Isleworth, How God caused to finde her out. at the house of the Lady Scudamore, where the late worthy Minister Dr Burges the Elder then also was, whose help shee had rejected. Amongst other discourses there interposed this al­so of Mrs Drakes great distemper, pitifull strange unusuall Case, how desperate it was, and what a great work of mercy it would bee to be a meanes any way to help her. It then being concluded by all, that if Mr Iohn Dod of Ashby, could be entreated or won to take so much paines, under God he were the on­ly fit person, with his so milde, [Page 18]meek and mercifull spirit, do deale with hers, which was so out of tune and off hooks: upon whose prayers and paines, more good successe might be expected, then any one they could then think of. This motion though for the time neglected, yet after a fortnight wrought so strongly, day and night upon the Relater, that he could have no rest untill hee had moved the businesse unto Mr Dod then in Town; who modestly put it off as a businesse beyond his strength and leisure to wait upon, yet being contented to see her and speak with her. Whereupon the Relater then wrote unto her Hus­band (a stranger unto him) to this purpose; that hearing of the strange Case and danger his wife now was in, out of mercy unto her, he had procured, the fittest man [Page 19]known to come to see her, and do his best to help her according to his ability, one Mr Dod Minister of Cannons-Ashby in Northamp­tonshire. Hee then after enquiring of Mr Dod, found such a generall good report of him, that he sud­denly came unto the Relaters chamber in the White-Friers, where Mr Dod at that time was, who acquainting himself with him, entreated his help and company to visite his wife, and so took us both along with him unto his house.

But it is strange to heare what suttlety the Devill then used,A sud­den de­vice of Satan. and uncouth entertainment he caused her then to give unto him: for, shee being in the dining roome above, having no knowledge of his comming (which was concea­led from her) yet as we came neare unto the door below, she sudden­ly [Page 20]flung up staires unto the next chamber above, and shut her self in: Whereupon her Husband took the great iron forke in his hand, and run up after her, threat­ning to beat down the door, if she would not open it. Who seeing him resolute so to doe, at length opened the doore and let them in; her Husband then getting betwixt her and the door, they both kneeled, and Mr Dod (as his custome in great matters was) kneeled and went to prayer with­out speaking of one word unto her: at which time shee stood and would not kneele, untill the latter end of the same, when shee also conformed her selfe, and kneeled with them. Prayer being done, Mr Dod said nothing unto her, but in her hearing uttered some speeches concerning her Case, [Page 21]unto her Husband, tending unto her comfort and encouragement for her to make use off: and so did both before and at dinner, ex­pecting from her some speeches to have given some pertinent occa­sion for further discourse with her, which shee at that time omitting, he supplied with other seasonable discourses for her good, touching his experiences in the like kinde, of the Devils suttleties and the danger of keeping his councell, with the advantages accrewing unto him thereby; whereunto shee partiently attended. Dinner being done, he being asked in his cham­ber at her house (where hee now was perswaded to lodge) what he thought of the businesse? made this gratious hopefull Reply; very well, because the Devill was afraid, run away, and durst not stand to it.

That night after shee was a bed,Shee seems to neglect and depise pray­er. he was brought in by her husband to pray by her; but shee seem'd al­though shee would not hear, hid her selfe over head and eares in the bed: not withstanding which he went on constantly in his determi­nation unto the end thereof. The next day at his comming, hee set in to speak with her; at which time shee replyed nimbly and strongly, using to purpose all, or much of the Devills rhethorike taught her against her selfe; yea, and alledged many Scriptures,Strange. which shee had never read, but only as tumbling and tossing over the Bible (as her custome was) to finde places against her selfe, shee had hit upon many; which by her nimblenesse and strength of wit and Satans help, shee had learned to wrest, and presse hard against [Page 23]her selfe.A sad sore and wofull conditi­on for the time. But in all her discourses with him, the upshot of all still was, That shee was a damned Reprobate, must needs goe unto Hell to live for ever; that her heart was harder then an Adamant or Anvile, that God had forsaken her, and given her over unto a reprobate sense, her hard heart could not repent, and that in all her actions shee but heapt up wrath against the day of wrath to her further condemnation; and that in that shee could not grieve, nor be sorrowfull for that wofull estate shee was now in, this shew the desperate­nesse theoreof; that it was in vaine, and too late for her to use any meanes: and therefore, that shee would use none, nor ever goe to Church againe. That it was need­lesse, fruitlesse and in vaine, for him or any body else to loose their time or labor any more with her or her [Page 24]occasions, the Decree of her rejection and damnation being past and irre­vocable: And therefore, all her comfort and portion being in this Life, shee was resolved to spend the remainder of her time in all jolling and merriment, denying her selfe of no wordly comforts; and therefore, wished him to let her alone, for it was impossible for him to doe her any good, nor shee would not either be ruled or advised by him; with a great deale of the like scurvie rotten stuffe, and that shee was quite destitute of all naturall af­fection unto Husband and, Father, Mo­ther, Children, and every body else, having in briefe no love either to, God or man; and therefore perswa­ded him to leave her, not to pray for her, nor come any more at her.

Here was a sad discourse, with heavie accusations against her self, [Page 25]had all been true; but the Devill being a lyar, and the Father of lies, made her thus fiercely and unjustly accuse and charge her selfe in such rigor: for even then shee feared Hell fire, quaking sometimes, and trembling at it, venting her selfe unto her friends in private, and weeping bitterly, shee used to say, O doe not yee pity me, who must goe to live in Hell torments for ever? Besides,A strange hypocrisie unusuall. even then shee was piti­full and mercifull unto others, but in secret so hid and clokt with words and shewes of the contrary, that it was treason against her for any she entrusted, to bewray any part or parcell of her goodnesse; because shee would gladly have beene thought past hope, and praying for, which made her ear­nestly to begge of every one not to pray for her, it being that the [Page 26]Devill aymed at, that shee might past hope,A new invention of Satan. finally dispaire. For, so two years together, by her good will shee would not bee pray [...] for, using many times at her Mo­thers usuall time of Prayer to sen [...] suddenly for her, of purpose to in­terrupt her, who if shee came no presently, as sent for; when she came, asking her pleasure, shee use to reply, now I have nothing t [...] say unto you, for you have bee [...] at your Matins. But to return t [...] Mr Dods progresse with her; I [...] was yet none at all, she remaine [...] still the same, seemed not to hear or regard his speeches and words spoken; would laugh and jest at a [...] he said in derision: In her thought [...] likening him unto Ananias, one whom at a play in the Black-Friers shee saw scoft at, for a holy bro­ther of Amsterdam; and when he would [Page 27]look pitifully upon her and re­prove her for such strange carri­ages and speeches, telling her what a shamefull thing it was, so to laugh and jest at heavenly things; shee usually Replyed, Why then, seeing you see what a wicked creature I am, why doe you trouble your selfe any more with me?

Divers fasts were kept for her in private,Another of his subtile devices. the next Chamber above hers, both then and divers times after, in midst whereof the Devill so made her restlesse, that shee would come up to the doore, di­sturbe them, of purpose, and make them believe that if they disisted not, she would throw her self down staires headlong. Yea once shee being a bed, and he at prayer, she to make him leave off, took a bed­staffe, and threatned to knock him on the head, but did not. All these [Page 28]and many moe tricks the Devill u­sed, still upon occasion to serve his turne, changing his weapons, so as scarcely could it be known at what ward to finde him long: so to shew his malice, did he change his posture and weapons.

Now shee would toughly di­spute the businesse,She holds fast her dolefull conclusi­ons. but all to no [...] purpose, she retaining those divi­lish conclusions fastned in her still So that Mr Dod wearied out thus having staied a Moneth with he departed home, stayed away Moneth and returned againe, do­ing thus three or foure times to­gether: yet found no amendment but still the same arguments stiffe­ly maintained over and over a­gaine a hundred times together without any good (in shew) effec [...] upon her, who could not in two years time he won or perswaded [Page 29]to come to Church or Sacrament, or to use any meanes at all; but car­ried her selfe as a desperate for­lorne creature, notwithstanding which the over-coming thoughts and terrors of Hell did much af­fright her; so as gladly she would have had a doore of hope opened unto her: For,A nice prety sto­ry, pro­ving that she wisht for sal­vation. a Kitchin-Maide she kept, who had both wit and me­mory enough to do and retaine a message; shee would usually send unto divers Preachers with Mes­sages of enquiry touching her (concealing her name,) Whether such and such a creature, without Faith, Hope, love to God or man, hard-hearted, without naturall af­fection, who had rejected all meanes, nor could perform any, or submit unto the same, with many the like aggra­vations (had enough you may ima­gine) yet might have any hope to go [Page 30]to heaven? Who still brought unto her such returns tending to hope­full encouragement: that such like and much worse (though an [...] bad as Manasseth) might by the mercy of God be received into fa­vour, converted and saved, which privately did much allay her spirit; for no worser returns of her secret messages were brought unto her from any shee had sent unto.

For all this,A fur­ther ex­tent of the De­vils ma­lice. yet did the Devill hold her close unto his maine end of desperation, to have made her self away: For she swallowed down many great pins, so to have did spatch't her selfe; all which by Gods mercy without hurting pas­sed through her: And being for­bid Oranges (as naught for her) shee made shift by the foresaid Maide to have forty brought un­to her, so to have sped her selfe; [Page 31]but it so pleased God, that these proved excellent medicines unto her, purging away abundance of black ugly filthy matter, which made her to look much better. Shee used also now and then [...]at meales, to shift a knife secretly in a napkin, and then to slip it up in the inside of her arme; but being watched and taken therewith shee left off so doing, thus continuing, untill shee had in a manner weari­ed out every body: for, the shorter the Devils reign was, he played the more tricks, making her by fits to be the more raging and troublesome unto her selfe and others.

Now as is faid,A strange farewell. Mr Dod in a manner wearied out with her, as he was about to goe home for a while, and to take leave, she gave unto him this rude farewell, To pray him to get him gone, to return [Page 32]no more unto her, enquiring at him what warrant he had, being a holy religious man, who should give good example unto others, to leave his Calling, House and Family so long, and to come to her, where he was his an unwelcome Intruder, having no hope to doe her any good? Which speech was so set on with such an edge of vehemencie (spoken as it appeared against her will to prove him only) bred in him such asto­nishment, as resolving to follow her counsell, hee made her this short Reply, That this was but a bad requitall of all his paines and love unto her, to have no more thanks for his labour, but to he chid out of doores, that hee was very sensible of her reproofe and dismission, and therefore meant hereafter to stay at home, and look unto his own mat­ters, not troubling her any more: [Page 33]Which speech it seemed touched her to the quick; for though to dis­courage him and trie him, she had made him such an untoward speech, yet was shee inwardly very sorry for what was done: Only be­fore his departure, shee took him aside, desiring to speak with him in private; when shee told him, that now ere his departure shee would deale freely with him, and shew the cause and ground of all her distem­pers and trouble, and what just cause shee had thus to have com­plained, as hopelesse, enjoyning him silence.A way opened for her cure. And so in her own chamber, none but he being pre­sent, she opened her whole heart sincerely, so as hee perceived that shee had concealed nothing from him of all that was in her heart; which made him (now that the Devils counsell was out and dis­closed) [Page 34]to conceive good hope [...] her recovery.

For this quite marres, and is in danger to over-throw all such persons,Danger of concei­ling the Devils counsell. whilst the Devill so holds them in bondage, as to make then conceale his counsell all the while, having this advantage there­by, as to make mountaines of mole-bils, and of mole-bils to make migh­ty mountains; never suffering them to come unto the knowledge of the quality and nature of their dis­ease, whilst the thing oppressing and seeming great unto them, is usually little, and nothing at all in respect of that he makes it; some­times but a lie, a delusion, such as the parties themselves upon such discoveries in relating become ashamed of; As in some sort it fell out with this good womans Case, which was nothing in a manner in [Page 35]regard of that the Devil urged and perswaded her; it was, he proving a strong lyer unto her, and his suggestion only a meare false illu­sion as will hereafter appear. Then unto all that which shee had then vented unto him, he then made her only this generall Reply, That she was much mistaken and deluded in the quality, kinde and nature of her Case, that the Devill had thus far tormented ther spirit with a strong abuse in corrupting her judgement, and encensing her so unjustly against her selfe, setting her affections on fire, by his injected wild-fire temp­tations. That he made no doubt of her recovery; but that now being acquainted with her Case and minde, hee would goe home and con­sult with God what were fittest an­swers for the same; returning ere long againe if God were so pleased [Page 36]then to endeavor to satisfie and [...] all her doubtings: In the mean­time, untill then, enjoyning [...] chearefulnesse, patience, moderati [...] in all things before her Husband and Parents, and to attempt [...] more violence against her selfe; [...] which shee faithfully promised [...] kept.

Still shee holds the maine conclusi­on. Hee being gone, in his absen [...] shee carried her selfe discreeth amd modestly, not refusing to spea [...] with any of those Divines wh [...] in the interim came to vi [...] her; and would sit and disput [...] with them a long time together but still in the old bias, holding her strong maine conclusions, th [...] fabrick whereof appeared to be [...] strongly rooted in her, that they seemed unremoveable, all who, [...] appeared, did no good unto her save so much as they could to per­swade [Page 37]her from such stiffe peremp­tory conclusions against her selfe, and from prying into Gods se­crets, presuming to know those things which God in this life re­veales not unto any, but reserves as his own high prerogative, only to know what his decree is touch­ing the everlasting state of the Creature to come: affirming that this knowledge which she preten­ded to have thereof was false, and that this revelation, was only known in the sanctified use of meanes, which shee so farre refu­sed, as she could not be perswaded to goe to Church by any, though they much urged her unto it: On­ly now she would kneele and joyn in prayer with them, but by no meanes in singing of any Psalme, which shee affirmed not to belong unto any in her Case, being now [Page 38]very sad and retired, and now a [...] then in weeping fits, and some­times in shewes of jollity a [...] mirth, so by turnes it pleased b [...] to out-face her present misery.

Patience, modera­tion and milde dealing much prevails with such. But this as a Catholicon we o [...] served in dealing with her, that [...] more patient we were, to suffer h [...] to complaine and bemoane h [...] selfe, repeat one thing over a hun­dred times as shee used, over a [...] over again, giving her good word using much meeknesse, affability and service unto her, even in h [...] most untoward crosse carriages this got much ground upon h [...] spirit, and brought her to do many things which no harsh cross­nesse could possibly effect with he [...]. And therefore this couse was no [...] taken, not to vex her any more, o [...] urge her with perswasions to go to Church', or to doe any thing [Page 39] [...]o displeasing unto her, but to goe [...]long with her spirit, with patience [...]bounding with love, mercy, good words and the like, untill [...]hee were convinced in judgement, when they needed not to hale or pull her, Duties would then come off freely: For indeed, this is the undoing of many poore souls in the like, or any distempers, to chide, rate, and urge them to much; which is a crosse way, displeasing and unprosperous, yea, disproportionable unto that course Christ takes (whom wee should imitate) not to break the bruised reed, nor quench the smoak­ing flax; and a crosse way, To make judgement return unto victory: In wich Case, Iacobs pace with his flocks, with such, is the best and safest way to drive them gently; especially those who are with [Page 40]young, in who Christ is now b [...] a breeding and forming, that so [...] may (as the Prophet speaks, Isa. [...] see of the travell of his soule, [...] be satisfied: And indeed, such har [...] spirits who are too quick with su [...] poor souls being too nimble wi [...] them before they know their d [...] ease, are but like rude Surgions, [...] unskilfull Physitians, who venter [...] give physick before they know th [...] ground of the disease; who man times in place of curing, doe [...] ­ther kill, or so much the mo [...] ulcer their wounds.

Hitherto we have seen Sata [...] malicious,A change on her occasions. violent, subtile, various in his temptations, changing shapes, by all meanes striving [...] have overthrown this good souls abuse her judgement, affections fancy, and best reason to fight a­gainst her selfe; notwithstanding [Page 41]all which, the Lord miraculously preserved her, was with her in, and brought her through this [...]ery affliction, to wonder and admiration: Wherefore, if the [...]eader will have a little more pa­tience, he shall see how the Lord overthrew all those strong holds, which the enemy had by his wild­fire unresisted temptions, and fiery darts injected in this good creature; which being not pre­sently cast forth againe (as wild­fire should be) thus enflamed her affections and endeavours against her selfe; as in part hath been and God willing shall be related.

For first, he fastned this temp­tation upon her,Tempta­tion. as his great maine 1 Bulwork, That she had sinned that great unpardonable sinne against the holy Ghost; and therefore, that it was in vaine for her, either to use [Page 42]any meanes for salvation, or ho [...] for it; and therefore, that it w [...] fruitlesse and in vaine for her [...] heare the word, read, pray and t [...] like; which hee wonderfull fas [...] had radicated in her.

Hereupon, hee inferred that [...] 2 Gods Decree shee was a Reprobate a cast away,Tempta­tion.appointed for damna­tion; being shee was such a bar [...] hearted impenitent sinner, not being able to repent: and therefore w [...] a treasurer up in all shee did [...] wrath against the day of wrat [...] and the revelation of Gods ju [...] Judgements againsts her: and therefore, seeing that shee mu [...] eternally perish, living for heaping up sin only for aggravation of her punishments, therefore to make her­selfe away, the sooner the better: which temptation a long time stuck fast, seeming unremovable.

From whence Satan made this 3 third deduction (like a Sophisti­call Logitian,Tempta­tion. begging the Que­stion) that therefore now it was in vaine to use any meanes at all; but seeing her portion was now only in this life, therefore to deny her selfe no manner of pleasures or jollity and mirth, but to cast off all these sad and soure things of holy duties per­forming, which were to no purpose, now that the irrevocable Decree was past, which was unchangeable: And therefore, if shee should bee saved shee should bee saved how­soever, and that God would soften her heart, and give her grace to use the meanes: But that the feare­fulnesse of her estate did shew (hee suggested) the contrary, that all her endeavors would prove in vaine; this stuck hard a long time.

Now against any of these, no thing could bee fastned upon he against them, which was not pre­sently shook off again: But especi­ally in that first mentioned of th [...] Sin against the Holy Ghost, here in shee kept close the Devils cou [...] sell, revealing the same at fir [...] unto none, but unto Mr Dod though afterwards of her selfe three years after, being in a good humor, shee acquainted the Rela­tor herewith; and more also the [...] he hath thought fit to vent abroad (as unnecessary) giving him leave to publish and make known after her death, so much of her Case a [...] might in some such misery be use­full unto others.

After this Mr Dod at his ap­pointed time returned, having se­riously pondered all her business, & digested the same, and was joyful­ly [Page 45]welcomed of her friends, though by her in a muddy strange way (former tentations by that time, having againe growne somewhat strong upon her) when yet hee in his usuall mercifull way, cheared her up, encouraging her what pos­sibly he could. And so in some few dayes after fell flatly upon the businesse, how to beat down and convince her erroneous opinions wherein shee was so setled, and wherein shee thought her selfe most secure in her owne judge­ment, unremoveably setled.

The maine & grand matter trou­bling her,The sinne against the Holy Ghost discussed and sta­ted. and quite unhooking her off from all manner of duties (as hath been said) was, That she had sinned that unpardonable sin against the holy Ghost, which shee firmly believed: Whereunto Master Dod thus replyed, directly crossing all [Page 46]her thoughts herein, in the nega­tive, affirming that she neither had sinned this sinne, nor was ever hi­therto so qualified, as to be guilty thereof; which seemed unto her very strange to prove, but was easily done. For, he shewed unto her, out of Heb. 6.4. That those who commit that sin fight against their convinced enlighting, having tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, having also tasted of the heavenly gift, being made partakers of the holy Ghost; who in their practise crucifie to themselves the Sonne of God afresh, and put him to an open shame; and trample upon the blood of the Covenant, mali­ciously opposing the known truth, in a constant course remorselesse unto the end: having lived & thri­ven under powerfull means, which [Page 47]yet they slight, maliciously and purposly oppose and persecute. But that shee being still in her na­turall estate,A strong assump­tion. by her own confession being farre from this enlightning, never having tasted of this heaven­ly gift, nor of the powers of the world to come, was never thus qualified, and so had never, neither could have committed this sinne: so that her temptations and feares in this kinde were but meer delusi­ons onely. And for that other sort who committed this sinne, with­out the former inward illumina­tion and taste, such as were the Scribes and Pharisees, Julian the Apostate, and the like, who malici­ously persecuted and blasphemed Christ, notwithstanding that by his Doctrine and Miracles they were convinced of his Diety; of this he shewed her, shee could not [Page 48]be guilty of, All sbe could alleadge against her selfe, consisting only in a matter of thoughts, which could not without action and former qualifi­cation bee that sinne, or within the compasse thereof: Which were on­ly things wrapt up in that we call (tentatio Foeda) strange injected thoughts of God, as Rom. 1.23. representing him to the fancy in abominable similitudes, likening him unto the vilest and basest things; which were only Satans wild fire tentations; for which seeing shee even then, and since, abominated them, being sorry for them, Satan must answer for, they being hers no further then as shee entertained and allowed of them. And also, that these thoughts be­ing thought of and injected be­twixt the top and bottome of the hill whereupon her Fathers house [Page 49]stood, never breaking forth into any speech or action which shee was sorry for, could not be any such sinne as shee imagined; and therfore prayed her to content her selfe and the rest satisfied, and not suffer the Devill to delude and torment her any more in this kinde.

All this discourse shee heard willingly without replication un­till he had finished what he would say, when shee being very ratio­nall and convinced of the truth of what hee had delivered, acknow­ledged her error, and Satans delu­sion, promising no more to enter­taine any such like thoughts of that sinne,A fur­ther com­plaint. But withall shee told him, that it was no matter for this, though shee were free thereof, yet she had other sinnes enough to damne her, and was assuredly a Reprobate [Page 50]and cast away, being shee could not love God, nor any other creature, being devoid of all naturall affe­ction, and given over to a Repro­bate sense, so as shee was most cer­taine that the Decree of God against her was past, being that shee had no heart or power to performe any ho­ly duty, but was like a creature starke dead, ye a twice dead, good for nothing but for hell fire; where­with shee sometimes would laugh and smile; but wee must conceive that even in the midst of this laugh­ter the heart was sad; for in pri­vate not long after shee would have sore fits of weeping.

Know­ledge of Gods Decree denyed unto any one. In vaine it was now to dispute with her, or perswade her in any thing untill her judgment was convinced & rectified in that mat­ter of the Decree of God. For shee flung off all with seeming assurance [Page 51]of her knowledge being sure that the Decree of her reprobation was past, of her rejection whereof she was sure and certaine: Therefore, this being the next strong hold to be battered down, he bent in the next place all his strength this way, Denying unto her that it was possible either for the Devill, or any other creature to know the Decree of God, either for salvation or repro­bation; but that this revelation came in the use of meanes God blessing the same; for which cause all must use the meanes who would bee saved, not medling with the Decree of God, nor prying into his secrets; for which then was al­ledged that excellent Scripture, Deut. 30.12. That what they were to performe and know, Was not in heaven, that we should say, Who shall goe up for us to heaven, and [Page 52]bring it unto us, that we may heare it and doe it: Neither is it beyond the sea, that thou shouldest say, Who shall goe over the sea for us? &c. But the word is very nigh unto thee, in thy mouth, and in thy heart that thou mayest doe it. Further hee urged, that if thus much were 1 certainly know by her, he shewed her,Argu∣ment. it must he by a Spirit of revela­tion; demanding of her, what spirit had revealed thus much unto her? If the spirit of the Devill (as it could bee no other) then he was a liar and the father of lies, as Christ Ioh. 8.44. speaks, hee speaking of his own and not from God, there­fore not to believed. And as the for the Spirit of God (he shewed) who only searches knowes and re­veales unto us the deep things of God, 1 Cor. 2.10. none but hee knowing the things of God, not [Page 53]any creature, This holy Spirit (he shewed her) had no such office as­signed him of Christ in the word to be a spirit of discouragement to reveale reprobation, being the Com­forter appointed to lead the Saints in all Truth, to reveale and tell things to come and teach us all things, Ioh. 14.36. This were di­rectly 2 against his nature, mission,Argu∣ment. and office, and the Decree of God, Thus to beat men off the use of meanes, discouraging them in the good way, who must wait and lie at the doore of mercy still, untill the Lords good time and pleasure were revealed and known in the use of meanes. And this also was press'd unto her further,Argu∣ment. 3 horrible blasphemy and impiety it were, either to honour the De­vill so farre, or assume unto her selfe by his meanes, the knowledge [Page 54]of things to come; this being th [...] which was only proper unto Iob vah himselfe, by his spirit to shee and reveale; advising her to be­ware in this kinde, not to encreas [...] the wrath of God against her, see­ing God, Isa. 44.7. & 46.10. diff [...] ­rencing himselfe from Idols, an [...] all their discoveries, is to knew things that are come and a comming declaring the end from the begin­ning, and from ancient times th [...] things that were not yet done: From all which issued this deduction, that shee was infinitly abused in this strange conception, and that the Devill or shee from him were not certaine of any things to come (unlesse revealed by the Spirit of God) shee having from thence no such revelation; that therefore she was by Satan utterly cozened and abused in the matter of Gods [Page 55] Decree, and so was bound to use the meanes, trust and wait upon God therein; shee being his crea­ture, to let him do what he pleased with her, either in life or death.

This strong fiery dart thus re­pulsed and quenched, shee became also convinced in this point, that only God (not the Devill) could reveale his owne Counsels and Decrees; and therefore, that per­ [...]ps shee might bee deceived in this her strong confidence in that [...]inde: But still retaining the third, That her indisposition unto all man­ [...] of goodnesse, Satan holds hard ha­ving [...]. pronenesse unto all manner of evill, her naturall temper and composition of minde, not able to use any meanes, or take any paines for heaven, too evidently demon­strated that shee had no part or [...]tion there, and therefore that she [...]d better leave off all then labor [Page 56]in vaine: Answ. 1 Hereunto answer w [...] made, That God though he h [...] Decreed to save mankinde by th [...] meanes of a Mediator, yet in h [...] good wise Providence had so onThe use of meanes is strong­ly pressed upon her, to bee sa­ved. dered the conveyance of our salva­tion (as Austin speaks) that he w [...] made us without us, will not save without us: & therefore that all o [...] life time we must be humble suto [...] labourers after, endeavourers a [...] strivers after that salvation which he hath appointed for us, using a [...] those meanes constantly, and no [...] to lie still in a ditch without en­deavouring to rise, and to cry Lord help us; such a one hee told her did worthily perish. It was further now also press'd unto her, that God now after that miracle of all miracles, in the sen­ding his Sonne to assume our flesh and save us, now ordinarily [Page 57]wrought not the same miracu­lously, but by ordinary concurring meanes and endeavours revealed in the word; that as those who in the Wildernesse were stung by the fiery Serpents, were no healed unlesse they looked up unto the Brazen Serpent; no more any now could obtaine salvation un­lesse they believed in Christ, its antitype: And that therefore, if she 1 used not the meanes,Argu∣ment or motive. but rejected and wilfully withstood the same, as there was no hope any way of sal­vation; so if she used the meanes, there being hope, and many pro­mises annexed to the same, there was good hope of her salvation; And put the case (which hee deny­ted) 2 that she must needs perish; Argu∣ment or motive. yet much better it were to perish in a way of obedience and duty full of hope all the way, and usually suc­cessefull [Page 58]whereunto were annexed many promises wherein the truth of God who cannot lie, but is faithful in all his promises is engaged, then in a wilfull way of disobedience. That all experiences since the be­ginning 3 of the world have shewed,Argu∣ment or motive. that it never yet was in vaine, or unsuccessefull, but alwayes advan­tageous and prosperous to use the meanes, waite and depend upon God; yea, though it were as long and longer then the impotent man, Ioh. 5. lay at the poole of Bethesda, ere hee had help: And therefore seeing her case was now just like those foure Leapers who sate at the Gate of Samaria, 2 Kin. 4 Who being like to perish in that great famine,Motive pressed home. resolved, if, and since they must needs perish, if they sate still there; but if they ad­ventured into the Campe of the [Page 59]Aramites, they might peradven­ture be saved, (at the worst but die) at their approach thither, fin­ding the Amarites fled, they had choyce of the spoyle. So if shee used not the meanes, but despised them, shee must of necessity pe­rish; but if used, shee might no question be saved. And so to this effect were urged those places, Micah. 2.7. O thou that art called by the name of the house of Jacob, is the Spirit of the Lord straigthned? and those his doings? doe not my words doe good to them that walk uprightly? and this, Seek yee the Lord, all yee meek of the earth, which have wrought his judge­ment: seek Righteousnesse and seek meeknesse; It may bee yee shall bee hid in the day of the Lords anger, Zeph. 2.3. And so that of Amos 4.12. Therefore this will [Page 60]I doe unto thee, O Israel, and be­cause I will doe these things unto thee, prepare thy selfe to meet thy God O Israel: even that God who is said, Amos 5.8. to turn the shadow of death into the mor­ning; all which put her on strong­ly unto the matter of endevour, seeing as it is, Micah. 4.12. Now know the thoughts of the Lord, nei­ther understand they his counsell: so that their being a possibility for ought shee could know to use the meanes as she was able; them was an absolute necessity for her to submit her selfe unto the meanes.

These and the like things thus deliverd, did much amaze her spirit to have beene thus farre deluded and mistaken in her own Case, and wherein shee was so setled, resolute and confident; unto all [Page 61]which shee at length made this Reply,Her con­vinced answer. That now she was convinced and did certainly believe, that none but God knew things that were to come; that shee had erred in judgement in so thinking of her selfe: That the desserate Case and estate shee was in had caused her to make such conclusions against her selfe: That now shee believed the Devill had no knowledge of Gods Decrees, concerning the everlasting estate of the creature, no more then pleased God to reveale unto him: That she was contented to do what shee could in using of the meanes, if shee might bee assured to reape any benefit thereby: But that the accidentall indisposition both of her body and minde were such, as shee in this Case could doe nothing to help her selfe, no more then a stark dead creature could; and therefore, [Page 62]that God must doe all; in which Case, if hee were so pleased to give unto her strength and grace to work, then shee would, otherwise she could doe nothing: a sore temp­tation, which even untill her last she could hardly shake off.

Answ. Hereupon he Replyed, that God as was said, wrought by meanes, and that shee was bound to read the Word di­ligently, to pray, heare the same, meditate and conferre thereof: That this was Gods way and ap­pointed meanes, to make even such dead creatures live, as shee preten­ded her selfe to be as it is Ioh. 5. That the time then was, and was a comming, when the dead should heare the voyce of the Son of God, and those who heard his voice should live: Wherefore, seeing that their was such a mervellous [Page 63]efficacy in hearing of the Word and use of meanes, (Wherein the power of the Spirit did co-operate to make the same effectuall) There was an absolute necessity to use the meanes for the attaining of salvation, or else one were thus guilty of their owne damnation in wilfull rejecting and refusing of the meanes: Unto all which, her answer was,Her fur­ther an­swers. That shee had no power so to doe, but when that God would enable her, then shee would: Yet hee prayd her, to read the 1 Word and pray as shee could and the like, which shee refused, al­leadging 2 that she could not pray; and for reading of the Word, to what purpose were that, so to read her own damnation, or to heare judgements and arraignments a­gainst her selfe; that shee was better as shee was; and therefore [Page 64]prayd him to urge her no more in this kinde, untill God were pleased to work somewhat in her, with abilities so to doe, which (if hee had a purpose to save her) hee would surely doe.

Shee is [...]rought [...]ff and from the [...]hird [...]r and [...]empta­tion. But for his paines and for his conviction of her judgement, rectifying of her from those fore­mentioned errors shee gave him thanks, promising no more to torment her selfe with cogitati­ons of them; for she was satisfied in the Sinne agaist the Holy Ghost, in the matter of the Decree; and in Satan or her ignorance of any things to come, his know­ledge to be none at all: But that for the present, here shee must rest, no further shee could possibly goe, wishing him to spare himselfe from being any more vexed with her untowardness.

Hee much abashed at her pre­sent distemper, and resolute shew of stoutness and stiffenesse of Spirit; yet was not discouraged, seeing he had got so much ground of Satan, as to beat her from her former strong holds, hoping in time also to performe the rest, which seemed a tough task to effect: because the indisposition and melancholy temper of her body was such as hindered much the work, shee therewith being averse unto Physick. Therefore,Discre­tion not to presse too much at once. he resolved for that time, to depart home and presse no more upon her at that time, but give her time to ruminate and think upon those things deli­vered, hoping to finde her in a better tune at his return, and so accordingly giving charge to watch her diligently, in a milde and loving way, after he had given [Page 66]her many and good Exhortations to use the means & to have a good conceit of God, he departed, be­cause at his time hee would not tyre or overload her, or more new toyle out himselfe.

Satan not idie, a new storme arises. A little after his departure she began then to bee somewhat in the old posture of frowardnesse and distemper, uttering many times desperate speeches and hopelesse, still refusing all means; saying, that all were but in vaine: And was so farre gone this way, That the great snow, and all the disastrous direfull events hapning abroad anywhere, shee said were all long of her, and for her sake, she guilty of them, and that things would never bee better so long as shee were alive: For then indeed Satan taking advantage of her melancholy temper, wrought her [Page 67]much woe thereby, making her thus over-charge and accuse her selfe, and endeavoring to have brought her back againe unto her former erros: So that now much adoe there was with her, to stay, support, or allay that ac­cidentall fiercensse, which now those new distractions brought upon her; which bred much griefe unto her Husband, Parents and Friends, but was not so to be wondered at, that Satan should cause unto her or them so much disquietness by his incessant new tentations, steering his time in Mr Dods absence, to regaine his dispossessed hold, or drive her unto finall desperation.

In, or neere this interim shee was visited by divers worthy Mi­nisters about the Town, amongst whom was that famous worthy [Page 68]man, Dr Usher, since Primate of Ire­land, a magazine of all knowledge and learning, a powerfull plaine Preacher, none like him in setting forth Christ in his high perfecti­ons and surmouting excellencies, and in pointing the right straight next way unto him; and withall as a very wise stout man, so the mildest humblest and meekest man alive, of his infinite reading, knowledge, and parts: This wor­thy man many times did visite her, would intreat, perswade, open Christ unto her, magnified the ri­ches of Gods mercy that way ex­tended unto the sonnes of men; shewing the freenesse of the gift of God this way, and that none were debarred, who did not wilfully ex­clude themselves, with much meek­nesse and mildnesse endeavoring to winne her spirit unto [...]a reall [Page 69]embracing of those tenders of grace made unto her in the use of means; whom shee willingly heard, delighted to hear speak; [...]ut withall still kept within the road of her old bias,Her an­swer un­to him. her inability to performe holy duties or endeavor that way; that all these were ex­cellent things he spoke of touching Christ, for them unto whom they belonged, but she had no share there in for ought shee knew shee said; but yet used shee him alwayes with much love, reverence and respect, in whatsoever temper shee was in, endeavouring still to give him all content and respect; and he being wise and judicous, seeing the temper of her spirit, a great work to bee wrought, the issue thereof time must shew, to bee affected by degrees, did not much presse upon her spirit, or much [Page 70]urge her unto any thing, being contented when he came to he to drop upon her many swee [...] distilling showers of precious speeches; leaving them to wort [...] after he were gone.

Her en­counter with Mr Forbs. And now also about this time, came to visite her another wor­thy Minister, whom the Relate [...] brought to see her and judge of her Case; a wise, acute, learned, discreet man, of great judgement and parts, one Mr Iohn Forbs, Minister at Middleborrow for the Merchants. This man having first a great while viewed her and said nothing, at length broke silence & told her, that he had heard of her trouble and discouragements, and therefore had come to tender his service unto her, to try if any thing were within the compasse of his power wherein hee were able to [Page 71]serve her: Shee curteously gave him thanks, but withall told him that her Case and doome was al­ready determined and past, and therefore there was no good to bee done by any one unto her: Yet see­ing him so an acure sharp quick witty man, shee was pleased to have a strong bout of discourse with him alone, walking at her house in Esher Gallery, where ha­ving toughly disputed with her a long time and no good to be done, but thwarted with many strong uncouth objections and Scrip­tures, sophistically applyed by her, beyond the skill or strength of her own spirit or wit as hee judged, he confessed she was too hard now on a sudden for him. So at one bout having the better of her in a discourse of Faith, he broke off laughing, with a jest, cal­led [Page 72]her Husband near by and said Sir, now I can stay no longer, b [...] I will study how to answer you [...] Wives Arguments, and will no [...] leave her in a good estate: ( [...] faith, professing infidelity,) wh [...] having taken his leave and depart­ed: The Relator enquired wha [...] his judgement was of her and her Case? Who made this an­swer, That it was the strangest tha [...] ever hee had seen, heard or read of,A strange presaging Censure. That the Lord had some strange work to doe by her, but whether is mercy or judgement hee could not determine: no more hee would come to visite her, nor could be drawn unto it.

Upon this her late distemper and untowardnesse, the good old man Mr Dod being againe sent for and come, was notwithstanding entertained by her in shew loving­ly, [Page 73]yet with a sad louring coun­tenance by and by accompanied therewith, as though hee had not been welcome; which he in his usuall chearfull manner not regar­ding, using her with all meeknesse and love, which he found gained much upon her spirit; after which having discoursed, & two or three dayes prayed with her, and for her, shee began to mend, but yet could not be perswaded to read, pray by her selfe, or goe to Church; wherefore hee thought it expedi­ent to leave urging thereof, untill her judgement were convinced therein: which was the next work to be done, a tough taske to effect, and which shee strongly opposed and withstood by one maine Ar­gument (being beaten off from all her other shifts) which was this out of Rom. 14. ult.

Object. Whatsoever is not [...] Faith is sinne; but shee did not be­lieve, nor could doe any thing i [...] faith, therefore all her actions m [...] needs be sinfull; so aggravating b [...] condemnation, shee having sinne therefore enough to condemne her would no more this way encreas [...] their number already too many.

Answ. 1. This Argument he [...] judged to be Sophisticall, subtile, and a strong fetch of the Devill for his ultimum vale, and last re­fuge; whereunto hee after a little pause, thus Replyed, That he deny­ed the assumption, that she could not doe any thing in faith; for, the degrees of faith must be considered. There was a degree of initiation of babes in Christ, and of strong men in Christ: That she must now be considered of in the lower form of the schoole amongst the babes in Christ, [Page 75]needing milk not strong meat (as the Apostle speaks) and there­fore, though things were not done in a strong, yet they might bee done in a weak and true faith, which might have a true and su­table reward: So that there be­ing in the Word many and large promises made unto the reading and hearing of the Word (some whereof wee then repeated) now for brevity omitted: That duties done in obedience unto the command of God, were then so done in faith, because according to and with a respect unto the commandement; and must needs because of the truth of God who cannot lie nor deny himselfe, be rewarded. And put the case (which he then denyed) that shee must eternally perish, yet God hath many out­ward mercies and blessings in store, [Page 76]wherewith to reward such outward obedience, many times farre be­yond our slight performances, free­dome from many temporall judge­ments, lessening, delay, and mitiga­tion of them, in number, weight, measure and continuance, remove all of them and the like, in his bes­time: So that all things conside­red, the best for her were to sub­mit her selfe unto the will of God, lie down Saint-like at his feet: use the meanes, trust, waite upon him, and then to let the Lord as (Ioab said to Abner) doe that which seemeth best in his eyes.

Answ. 2 And for that other cavill of the encrease of her sins, in the matter of her endeavours; for this he told her, That all her good actions done, should be upon record, & all her sins should be forgiven and done away, so that this should not hinder her obedi­ent walking.

Object. Unto this shee objected her inability to performe any holy duty, and therefore seeing God in the up-shot of all his free pro­mises declares himselfe thus (Yet for all these things, will I be sought unto of the House of Israel) she not being able to aske or make obedient endeavour to wrap her selfe up within the promise, so as to have interest, or challenge the same, that therefore it were in vaine for her to use any meanes.

Ans. Reply hereunto was made, That true it was, that this was the ordinary roade of Providence in despensing of salvation, to sue and challenge the promises for our owne comfort, and to dispence salvation in the use of meanes: Yet that God being a free agent to give and work at his good plea­sure, had not so tyed himselfe unto [Page 78]any methode so in his working, but that at his pleasure he might despence therewith: And that therefore for her inability and weaknesse, God could at his good time strengthen her to his work, so in the means time, that shee did her best endea­vor according unto her ability, no [...] being this way wanting; for where much weaknesse was, yet God, ma­ny times helpt and took in good part our weak performances, and that weaknesse with truth and doing to our power went farre in Gods ac­ceptance: he loving us not for any thing in us, but freely for what he works in us; as that Hos. 14.4 I will heale their back-slidings, I will love them freely, &c. And that Revel. 3.8. Vnto the Church o [...] Philadelphia, Thou hast a little strength and hast kept my word. So was shewed unto her that of the [Page 79]Disciples, Ioh. 17.8. being weak ignorant men in many things touching salvation, for whom Christ yet pleads with his Father, They have kept my word, though formerly they were not able to beare those things might other­wise have been revealed unto them, Ioh. 16.12. Therefore from hence was much pressed upon her the use of meanes howsoever unto her weak power and strength, which God would encrease unto a greater growth, being that he gi­veth strength to the weak, and un­to them that have no strength, Isa. 40.29. Her Case was shewed her to be no worse then that Ezek. 16.4.5. of the people of Israel pol­luted in their own bloud, cast forth in a miserable condition, no eye pitying of them, any way to help them; whom yet God in his mercy [Page 80]pitied in that wofull condition saying unto them, That even then they should live, they should live, when they were thus in their bloud, Ezek. 16.6. Therefore to hope well in the mercies of the Almigh­ty, not measuring the same by the scantling of her shallow conceits of God, in whose sight all the sinnes of the world are nothing, in comparison of the infinite price payd of that blood of the everla­sting Covenant, and infinite value and merit of the same, which speaks better things then the blood of Abel, Heb. 12.24. and whereby we have accesse with boldnesse un­to the Throne of Grace, by a new and living way which hee hath consecrated for us through the yeile, that is to say his flesh.

The strength of these things thus enforced, so overcame her [Page 81]thus delivered, that herein she was also convinced, that shee ought to use the meanes to her power, trust and waite upon God for the issue, being contented of his good plea­sure whatsoever, and therefore re­solved and promised, that now she would goe to Church,Shee is brought to goe to Church. use the meanes and try what Gods plea­sure were in time to doe with her; conceiving now some small hope that possibly shee might bee saved in the use of meanes: and so was perswaded to goe to Church; at her first going being brought to heare Dr Gibson; who know­ing of her comming, applyed him­selfe covertly for her occasions, yet not so, but she suspected that he had beene prompted, and had spoken things of purpose for her case (which shee murmured at) but was passed over, for indeed [Page 82]the burthen wherewith had over-loaded here selfe was so great, that we durst never adde any thing thereunto, but fed her with all en­couragements, she being too apt to over-charge her selfe, and to de­spaire upon any addition of fewell unto that fire which already was kindled in her: And so whereso­ever shee went to heare, notice was still given, so to mannage their businesse, that hee might know they had at that time a hearer thus qualified before them, whereby shee received no discou­ragement in hearing of the Word; but by the contrary matter of en­couragement, her spirit being still jealous that all things were prompted for her sake (hea­ring no more terrible things) as indeed they were.

Yet in this interim, things being [Page 83]not yet well setled within her, not daring to trust her alone, it was thought fit in the next place to fetch off her endeavours from her own destruction, which by Gods mercy was thus effected:How shee was brought from at­tempting against her selfe. One day being in a very good humor, mer­ry and well pleased, Mr. Dod prayd her that she would resolved him tru­ly of one Question, which hee would demand of her, which she faithfully promised to doe. Then he demanded of her, That if now shee were condemned to be burnt, or hanged, drawn and tortured, to hee first rackt, scourged and ma­ny times whipt and tortured, Whe­ther or no shee would not esteems it to be a high favour and promotion, to be reprived and ress [...]ted for ten or twenty yeares or thereabouts, to live longer? Which shee affirmed shee would take in this case for a [Page 84]very high favour (nor perceiving his scope and drift in the Questi­on;) Then said he, tell me (taking her lovingly by the hand and smi­ling,) Why then did you all this while past make such haste to haw posted away unto Hell fire for ever, the torments and misery whereof are many thousand times in violence be­yond all the possible torments of this world, seeing it is uncertains whether ever you shall goe thither or not, but that God in the use of meanes will soften your heart and save you? But seeing the time (if ever) will be too soone whensoever [...] therefore it were madness and ex­treame folly in you, to fall into that course which might precipitate and cast you there presently before the time; but to live forth natures course, trying what end the Lord will make: Shee being by her [Page 85]own confession in some sort catcht now as David was by Nathan the Prophe [...], now perceiving the drift of this surprize, took him by the hand, and prayd him, That in that kinde no more jealousie or suspi­tion might be had, for now shee was so by him convinced, that shee was resolved to live so long as God would permit her, and that shee now was very sensible of his discourse of Hell, and what small reason shee bad to make haste thither.

Shee is convin­ced that she ought & might receive the Sa­crament. Having thus by Gods mercy brought her to submit her selfe unto the meanes, and hearing of Word, wherein faith and salvati­on are usually conveyed and wrought; there wanting yet one thing, to bring her unto the Sa­crament (unto which she was very averse:) The next thing this good man went about, was how to com­passe. [Page 86]this, and convince her judge­ment that shee ought, might and must participate herein, as well as in hearing of the Word: This was by her thought a very strang thing to doe, that such a one as she ima­gined her selfe to be, should dare to Communicate. But hereof hee assured her the truth, from the equity and necessity of that com­mand of God where all the Males in Israel were commanded to appeare three times a yeare before the Lord at Jerusalem to eat of the Passeover; in which case whoso­ever refused to come, or despised the same; hee was to bee cut off from his people: Whence he infer­red this conclusion, That whatsoe­ver our worthinesse or unworthi­nesse in that case were, yet the command of God must be obeyed; all were bound to come and eat [Page 87]of the Passeover: And therefore that all within the Pales of the Church, ought to Communicate and receive the Sacrament howsoever qualified: In which case unworthy receiving should not damne them, if once in all their life time they should or did receive worthily: Shewing that in Hezekiahs time, many then had received the Passeover unwor­thily, for whom notwithstanding hee prayed the good Lord to for­give them, though they had not eaten according unto the prepara­tion of the sanctuary. Besides this he shewed her, That the Sacrament was not a comforting, strengthning, building up Ordinance onely, but also a converting and healing power being therein for help of the sick and diseased, a reviving quick­ning Ordinance also; so as all ought to participate of the same.

Object. Hereunto she objecte [...] that out of 1 Cor. 11.29. That u [...] worthy Receivers did eat and drink their own damnation, and there­fore she durst not adventure and more to aggravate her condemn [...] ­tion and punishments.

Answ. Unto this he Replyed, That she was mistaken in the mea­ning of the words, for the word Damnation must not there be takes in the terrible sense, the Origi­nall not carrying it so, but thus, (such [...]at Iugdement) unto them­selves, viz. temporall punishments; which the ensuing verse 30. cor­rects the same thus, For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep, &c. Which shewes the meaning onely is, that such endure sometimes temporall punishments; who yet may bee saved and goe to Heaven. So that [Page 89]still the generall holds in equity, [...]s in and under the Law; that Gods Ordinance in the Sacrament is not to bee neglected of us for our unsufficiency and unfitnesse for the same, no more then un­der the Law during the Passeover; because, it may be a meanes to fit,Let the scrupu­lous note this well.heale, cure, strengthen, revive, quicken and enable us to be worthy Receivers: For we come not to bring vertue unto the Sacrament, but to receive vertue, life, strength and quickning from thence: And that howsoever in this case we be qua­lified, it were best to be obedient and use the meanes, all which with much more the Relator remem­bers not, was set on with more excellent illustrations, exhortati­ons and pithy remonstrances: which discourse being finished she became in this also convinced in [Page 90]judgement, that shee promised him thus farre to submit herselfe yet further unto the meanes, tha [...] shee would now also goe unto the Sacrament: Onely in this Case sh [...] begg'd exemption not to be urged, be­cause shee could not neither was able by her selfe to performe any private duties of prayer, or read­ing of the Word constantly: where­unto, because they would not o­ver drive her, put her beyond her strength, or molest her spirit, they spared to urge her, contented with what they could with gentle­nesse and entreaty perswade her unto.

A very strange experi­ence and wonder­full. Yet it is most strange to heare, how the Lord dealt with her in one thing, wherein she delighted, and was hardly broken off, viz. Shee had a custome in tumbling over of the Bible, to put her finger [Page 91]suddenly upon some one verse as it bit; saying, now whatsoever my finger is upon, is just my Case, whatsoever it bee, and my doome: But so the Lord directed all her fingers so put, that looking upon the verse, still it was found en­couraging and comfortable, not discouraging: whereupon being much prayed and entreated, see­ing hitherto shee had found all places to speak for her, that shee would desist, and not any more thus tempt God; who prayd that shee might doe but once more so (it being in the presence of many) promising faithfully that af­ter that one time, she would never do so any more, to attempt any such tryall: Whereupon at length all adventured to suffer her once more to see what Gods provi­dence would prove in so strange [Page 92]a Case. But withall if some crosse place came, they prayed her not to bee discouraged; whereupon shee suddenly opened the Book, about the middle thereof, in the Prophesie of Isaiah, and without looking what shee did, she put her finger upon that excellent vers. Isa. 40.27. Why sayest thou O Jacob, and speakest O Israel, my way is hid from the Lord? hast thou not known, hast thou not heard that the everlasting God the Crea­tor of the ends of the Earth, faint­eth not, neither is weary; there is no searching of his understanding: hee giveth power to the faint, and to them that have no might he en­creaseth sirength; even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall; But they that wait upon the Lord, shall [Page 93]renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as Eagles, and they shall walk and not faint: Which place being considered of and read, so crossing her hopes and expectation, made her being much abashed to blush. For there­in shee was reproved for her crosse conceits of God touching her, as neglected of the Almighty; and for all her weaknesse and imperfections was shewed, that God could help all, who with a word made heaven and earth, en­abling her to doe all duties at his good pleasure; being there­with encouraged to wait and de­pend upon God in the use of meanes by such an excellent pro­mise: And so was therewith shew­ed how good God was unto her, every way shewing love, notwith­standing her untowardnesse, and [Page 94]tempting of him by such signes: At which, not knowing what to say, shee flung off poorely, saying,Object. this was promised to Iacob and Israel; It was nothing unto her and her Case: Whereunto answer was made out of that place,Answ. Rom. 15. Whatsoever was written before hand, was written for our learning, that wee through patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope; and so was thereby vanquished in judgement, that she promised now to be satisfied, and never any more to make any such tryall, but to offer her selfe unto the use of meanes, and to wait the Lords leisure what hee pleased to doe with her: Yet still alleadging the impotency in her, that she was able to doe nothing herein to­wards this great work, but that God must doe all, when being [Page 95]enabled, shee would doe that whereunto she should be strength­ned

Shee is perswa­ded to mine in singing of some [...]rt of Psalms. Yet wanted there one thing more, to get her to joyn in singing of Psalmes, which with much adoe shee was brought unto, alleadging that her Case admitted of no such melody, neither had shee cause to sing, but to mourn all her life time: Yet being told that is was a du­ty to sing prayses unto God, for all his mervellous mercies, power and goodnesse, as well as to joyn in hearing of the Word; and that thanksgiving being the everlasting work of Heaven in continuall pray­sing of God, was a work could not be too soone begun upon earth; and that the Psalmes being of divers compositions and postures; of thanksgiving, petition, gratulati­on, complaint, and deprecation, [Page 96]shee might joyne in some, many of which might fit her Case; shee was contented to joyn in Psalmes of complaint, petition, mourn­ing and deprecation, but in no other of any acknowledgement of any mercy received: For said she, If I be onely reserved as a stalled Oxe unto the slaughter, what cause have I to give thanks; and if I be not to goe to Heaven, what have I to doe with the work of Heaven before the time, or having some work wrought in me, whereby I may be assured of my interest therein?

About this time willingly shee would have lived under some powerfull Ministry,Why shee would have li­ved un­der a powerful Mini­stry. hoping, that thereby some such work might be wrought upon her, as might ena­ble her to performe duties; and for this cause secretly made the Relator goe into Essex to try whe­ther [Page 97]or not that worthy powerfull late thundering Preacher, Mr Ro­gers of Dedham, would have en­tertained her at his house, who willingly granted the same: But when the businesse was moved un­to her Father and Mother, nei­ther they nor her Husband would consent unto the same, though Mr Dod, and Mr Culver­vell both affected to have gone with her, so too indulgent were they over her; which refulsall much unhookt her spirit, and had almost put her in her former Case againe, so much did it afflict her; but no remedy,An ex­perience of her spirit, & of Satans malice a­gainst her. at length shee con­formed her selfe unto necessity.

I should much trangsgressse, and wrong this discourse of. Gods mercies into this good creature, if I should omit any passage of Satans subtelties and attempts [Page 98]against her how farre they pre­vailed; for so, the Power and good­nesse of God unto her in saving her at length, will so much the more evidently appeare to his glo­ry: Therefore this ensuing pas­sage I relate, as the furthest ex­tent of Satans malice: One day as shee was walking in her garden at Waltham upon Thames with the Relator and another friend (for Esher that place where her trouble first began, shee never after could endure) suddenly shee stopt and fixed her eyes fast upon the ground, staring upon it with strange wilde looks, for halfe a quarter of and hour, from which we could hardly divert her, but at last did, though shee seemed much troubled to be interrupted; and then (as her cusstome was when the waters of her spirits and thoughts [Page 99]were become muddy) she began to seem to cast off all means again; saying, That her heart was so heard, as it could never bee softned; this was by those with her then much op­posed and denyed as fast as she affir­med the same, enforcing that God who with a Word made Heaven and Earth could soften it; wher­unto shee in anger replyed, (why then God cannot soften my heart) at hearing of this blasphemous speech, spoken in the heigth of temptation, the Relator without speaking one word unto her sud­denly left her; for such speeches were not to be born with, countenan­ced, or disputed with, but to be cast off, with detestation and abomina­tion, for (contra principiis non est disputandum) they say: A lit­tle while after, shee being then ready to ride abroad and goe to [Page 100]her house at Esher to take the aire, going to take horse, shee de­manded of the Relator, whether hee would not ride abroad with her, whereunto hee replyed, No, he durst not goe in her company who did so lately blaspheme, for fea [...] the ground would open and swallow them up; but that seeing under the Law the blaspemer was to die the death; that he would go to the Arch­bishop and complaine of her, heard witnesse against her, and provide faggots to burn her; wherewith we both parred in seeming discon­tent. She being gone, the Relator ere his way-going, went to her waiting-woman, and left his re­membrance unto her, which when her woman, at her return told her; shee would not believe that hee had so done, but asked her Maide, what farwell didst thou think hee [Page 101]gave me, That he would goe com­plaine of me, and provide faggots to burne me: To which her Maide answered, Then Mistrisse, you have spoken some strange untoward things; I think I did so, said shee: In this interim the Relator sent and wrote very kindly to her in his absence, and after a Moneths time returned againe unto her; when,Confes­sion. shee prayed him to stay no more so long away, gave him thanks for his harsh usage of her; saying, shee had deserved worse, and would never so doe any more; Telling al­so that then when formerly she had stood staring on the ground, she was then assaulted with fierce and strong temptations; all the while a brick making for the Devill; and prayd him when he sam her do so any more, to put her out of that posture, and not to spare her, how angry soever [Page 102]shee should for the time bee.

Now as shee was in a seeming good tune and posture of en­deavour to use the meanes,A new storme. [...] tumbling over the Bible, she en­countred with that terrible place, Heb. 6. enferred upon the sine against the Holy Ghost, That the ground which was often watered, and brings forth nothing but briers and thorns, was neare unto cur­sing and burnig, &c. Which place for a few dayes put her quite off hooks againe,Object. affirming that shee was just so, a creature that brought forth nothing but briers and thorns, though she had been often watered from heaven in the use of means, and there­fore that she was neere unto cur­sing and burning.

1 First,Answ. This was denyed unto her, that shee had ever lived under [Page 103] [...]ny such powerfull Ministry, as to have been often thus watered.

Secondly, That shee neither hi­therto 2 had beene so had, as to bring forth nothing but briers and thorns, having to their know­ledge brought forth and produ­ced much good fruit of her hea­ring in times past, though now shee were for a season over-cloud­ed with temptations, so, as shee could not discerne of her own esate, nor was apt to judge thereof.

Thirdly, That this place being 3 enforced as a reason of the sinne against the Holy Ghost, against their enlightning; which by her own confession, was a pitch above her, that hithreto shee never had at­tained unto; therefore she needed not to make any such rigid ap­plication, or construction of the [Page 104]place against her selfe; wherewith and the like milde speeches unto her to this effect, shee was an [...] length pacified as before.

The jour­ney past recoun­ted. Good Reader be not weary, I will now suddenly make way unto a conclusion, for much of our work, and the greatest part is done and hardest to compasse; Lo now, we have brought this good 1 woman thus farre: To aske the way (in some sort like one of leremies Converts) to Zion with her 2 face thitherwards. She is brought out of the house of bondage, from her brick making slavery, Pharaoh pursues as it were still after her, but hath not over­taken her, shee is driven to flie and wander up and downe the wildernesse, now backwards now forwards, as the Church in the wildernesse was, ere she can arrive [Page 105]at her heavenly Canaan; and I hope wee shall ere long see her [...]erdan stand up, and give her a faire passage in thither, though thee hath beene well buffeted by the way.

First, Shee hath been now con­vinced, 1 not to have sinned that sin against the Holy Ghost (as Satan perswaded her) being in this [...]ettled.

Secondly, shee hath been per­swaded 2 in that grand businesse of the Decree of God, not to meddle therewith, and that no Creature, Devill, Man or Angel, save God himselfe had any knowledge there­of.

Thirdly, In the matter of en­deavour, she hath been convinced, [...]hat shee ought and must set her selfe in what possibly shee could, to ase the meanes, wait therein, and [Page 106]to trust God with the issue of all

Fourthly, Shee hath been per­swaded to live as long as possibly shee could, not to be a means of her own destruction.

5 Fifthly, Shee hath been perswa­ded of the lawfulnesse and neces­sity of her communicating, not­withstanding all her seeming a­versnesse, and indisposition there­unto.

6 Sixthly, Shee hath been brought from that course in tempting God by putting her finger suddenly upon places of Scripture, to try her state, all which fell out con­trary unto her expectation, good still.

7 Seventhly, How and on what conditions shee was brought to joyne in singing of Psalmes: all which being past, one would think, that now there had not [Page 107]been much adoe, but to have had a quick end of her troubles, and sufferings.

But the Lord wonderfull in working, and excellent infinitely in counsell and wisdome, had o­ther wise so appointed the same, that shee should yet a few years longer be storm beaten and sick, and wander as it were in a wil­dernesse, ere shee arrived at her heavenly Canaan: And therefore out of her habituall impotencie seeing shee was so stiffe and slow to work out her own salvation or [...]ake paines for it, Shee had at length her desire, though hee made [...] cost her deare ere hee at length revealed himselfe unto her: And therefore hereat shee stuck still even to the last, expecting what extraordinary work God would work in her, to enable her to [Page 108]take paines for her salvation: A strange temptation, which all her life time could hardly ever hee quite removed: Untill God in a strange and unusuall manner, for matter of feeling revealed himself unto her in such a measure, at mortality was incapable of, to the over-comming of her spirits (who lived not long after) to be in its place related.

About this time that famous worthy man of God, Mr Robert Bruce some time Minister of E­denborrow, then in prison amongst the wilde Irish, for not preaching or assenting unto the truth of the Earle of Gowries Treason, hear­ing by the Relator the trouble and true state of this Gentlewomans Case, with the progresse thereof, and how shee had been brought to reveale the Devils counsell, [Page 109]wrote a letter unto the Relator touching his censure of her Case, and hopefull issue thereof: who being for afflicted consciences one of ten thousand (he himselfe ha­ving beene for twenty yeares in [...]etrors of conscience, ere he was forced to settle unto the Ministry) gave a judicious propheticall censure of the event of her case, as in some sort it fell out (too long here to insert) but in conclu­sion with this upshot: That now shee had bewrayed so freely the Devils counsell, hee knew that all would shortly bee well ere long, and that her trouble would have [...]o admiration a strange event; and that for her finall estate, he thank­ed God, he made no more doubt thereof then of his own, which he assured himselfe of, because God had given him so large a heart to [Page 110]continue instant for her in prayer with a great deale of comfort; concluding his letter with a pa­theticall speech turned in behalfe of the Gentlewoman towards Satan, worthy to be written in letters of gold, which being so rare and unusuall in the Presse speeches of this nature, I have therefore adventured here to en­sert.

The Lord powre in his comfort and grace in her weak heart, that [Page 115]shee may finde and feele the sweet­nesse of the things we write of, and from her feeling to give God the prayse of his glory, and of her victory, which I am sure to be most certaine in Gods good time, and that her salvation is as sure as mine own, I prayse God.

By this time three whole years having past, since Mr Dod began with her, having endured so many hot skirmishes with Satan, made so many long journeys, being toyld out in body and spirit, and desi­rous now to rest awhile, having fa­cilitated his tough task, and fitted it for some other to finish and build her up further, hee having in all things convicted her judge­ment, that God who does all things well, and makes all things Rom. 8.28. work together for good unto his children; who when [Page 116] Moses was old, appointed the young man Ioshua in his place; and who when Manna failed, brought the people into Canaan flowing with milke and honey, did now also out of his good Provi­dence appoint a fit man to succeed as a helper in Mr Dods place, meet for that posture of strength shee was now in, In a strange by Satans temptations, and prompted with strong objections against her selfe: So that now her great want was of an able man to be continually with her, to dispute constantly with all her temptations and ob­jections, able to answer and crush all.

Another fit help succeeds to Ma­ster Dod. This and such a Helper did God in his infinite mercy in the next place provide for her. For it plea­sed God in his wise providence, so [Page 117]to order the matter, that her Hus­bands Cure at Esher being a Do­native, and not a Presentative en­downment was voyde and to bee disposed of: In which interim, notice was given unto him of one Mr Hooker then at Cambridge, now in New-England: A great Schol­lar, an acute Disputant, a strong learned, a wise modest man, every way rarely qualified; who being a Non-conformitan in judgement, not willing to trouble himselfe with Presentative Livings, was contented and perswaded by Mr Dod to accept of that poore Living of 40 l. per annum; Mr Drake her Husband being a worthy wel­beloved Gentleman, and able to procure his liberty, and retaine him still in the same: This worthy man accepted of the place, having withall, his dyet and lodging at [Page 118] Esher Mr Drakes house; end so by this meanes, as to free Mr Dod from his toile and trouble, so to be at all assayes ready to mannage and work her spirit, encounter all her objections, espie all Satans windings and turnings, and catch her at all non-plus advantages, being acute, quick, nimble-witted, well skild in knowing and opening of the Scriptures; withall a good Logitian, a strong Disputant, as he could well doe. And so the good old man as occasion served, send­ing and writing unto her, after divers sad and serious discourses with her, wherein shee covenanted to observe all promises past, re­taining her former resolutions in those things wherin in judgement she was convinced, he was for that time lovingly dismissed, and re­warded largely by her Parents.

This man Mr Hooker being a good acute, smart Preacher when he listed, besides that information Mr Dod had given him, was so wife, first to trie her spirit, to finde her disposition, using her with much mildnesse & love, ere he would ad­venture to meddle with her spirit, chusing rather that way made from her might usher the way unto his discourse, then that at first hee should enforce any thing upon her: Which was not long in su­spence; for now having a fit person to rough hew her (as it were) whom shee could neither weary out nor over-come in Argument, but was able to discerne and catch Satan in all his Sophismes, there every way fell out strong disputes betwixt them: But all within the compasse of those former things wherein Mr Dod before had con­vinced [Page 120]her: Satan delighting still to rase new uprores in her, and (as his custome is) not to suffer us to be at peace though we be out of danger: Such now were his pra­ctises anew, to winde up his old bottomes, and to renew disputes, even in those things she was con­vinced of. For Mr Hooker being newly come from the University had a new answering methode (though the same things) where­with shee was mervellously de­lighted, and being very convetous of knowledge, was pleased with new disputes and objections to fasten further upon her selfe those forementioned things; still fur­ther and further sifting into the same old Truths whereof shee was well perswaded (and as is said) convinced.

Yet could not he so evenly hold [Page 121]the ballance in mannaging of her spirit, but that now and then shee would flie out,By de­grees she is some­times off hooks still. in many distem­pers, wishing to leave off all, for shee now saw that there was no remedy, the meanes did not work nor prove effectuall unto her: To what purpose should shee any more labour in vaine? But especially towards the Sacrament, then usu­ally shee would be off hooks, ei­ther not comming, or unwilling­ly, if shee did: Upon whom this place for her waiting and depend­ing upon God was strongly urged, Had. 3. ult. That the vision of Gods deliverances, was for an appointed time, therefore to wait; for though it tarried, yet it should come and not tarry; and that al­so of Isai. 8. I will wait upon the Lord, who hath hid his face from the house of Jacob; and I will look for [Page 122]him: affirming unto her that these and the like hard travels, were in­cident unto Gods best beloved people, to have many, hard and long trialls, and yet at length glorious deliverances, as was al­ledged from that place, Amos 3.2. You only have I known of all the Nations of the earth; therefore I will punish you for your iniquities: (which God may doe forgiving the sinne, though hee take ven­geance of their inventions:) And that Heb. 12. what sonne is there whom the Father chasteneth not? If therefore yee bee without cor­rection (whereof all are partakers) then are yee bastards and not sonnes. Which with the like in­sinuations from the word closely urged, brought down her spirit to mildnesse and meeknesse: For though her indisposition and [Page 123]temptations, made her many times contrary unto her naturall dis­position harsh and untoward, with the habite shee had accrewed in time to be crosse, and try those soundly shee conversed with; yet this happy endowment shee had, to be very rationall according unto her conception, and would be set down and satisfied with pregnant places of Scripture being seasona­bly press'd and lovingly opened un­to her.

But the matter of repentance much troubled her,Quest. of repen­tance, dis­cussed. that she could not repent; demanding, Whether it were possible for her to goe to Heaven without Repentance?

Hereunto was answered: First,Sol. 1. That God did not tie salvation unto any measure of repentance; but might at his pleasure save, especially where there were no [Page 124]grosse sinnes to dam up mercies gates; whereof praised bee God shee was free.

Secondly, That God exacted no more of his creatures then he gave unto them: as the Apostle to the the Corinths writes, If there be first a willing minde, accepting of us, not according unto those things we have not, but according unto those things we have: And therefore, that her weak desires and measure whatsoever given, might be accep­ted of God. For, shee could not deny, but her wishes were that she might repent, and she was in some sort sorry for her indisposition and hardnesse of heart, which being a burthen and a kinde of griefe unto her, was so a kinde and sort of repentance: Therefore was shee exhorted to be patient, and not to limite the Holy One of [Page 125] Israel nor prescribe the foun­taine and depth of all wisedome which were the best way to bring her unto Heaven; but to submit her selfe unto the good pleasure of God; trust, hope with the best, and use the meanes.

Thirdly, Further alleadging un­to her, That it was not the great­nesse, number or continuance of our sinnes that could stop mercy from us; but finall impenitency and obduration.

Fourthly, Repentance being the gift of God, which hee might at his pleasure give and accept in good part whatsoever measure thereof he were pleased: It was not to be doubted of, but that she might in time attaine unto so much thereof in the use of meanes, as hee would accept of, and as might bring her unto heaven. For [Page 126]God of all his Attributes is said only to delight in mercy, Micah 7. his nature being to forgive and forget iniquity, transgression, fin and sinnes of custome.

Fifthly, That as sinne was a per­petuall act in us, so in God there was a perpetuall act in pardoning of sinne, not transient, but in a perpetuall constant currant; as Zach. 13.1. a fountaine opened, ever running, to wash away act sinne and uncleannesses; with ma­ny the like things, which now a­gaine wonne her spirit to rest up­on God; though now and then upon divers occasions she used to fly out a little: Yet being continu­ally hammered and hewen with the tough acute disputations of this good man, Mr Hooker, who was very assiduously industrious in watching her disposition, and [Page 127]various inclinations of her changes and tentations; by Gods mercy shee grew still better, using to pre­sent her selfe constantly to the use of meanes: having prayer, cate­chizing, expounding and reading of the word, and singing of Psalms constantly in the family, now with delight and willingnesse acted: being never weary to have the word expounded; yea, and in pri­vate spending some time by her­selfe alone daily; as the indisposi­tion of her distempered body, heart-burning and in a manner perpetuall head-ach, would per­mit her; but yet would not bee known not confesse unto any alone.

The good soule is yet tossed up and down. Now have wee her in the wil­dernesse tossed up and downe, like the Church in their march unto Ca­naan, [Page 128]fraught with divers stormes, now backwards, now forwards, with many turning and winding temptations, restlesse in her thoughts, because (desire hath no rest) having some glimmering glimpse of hope, but (as she said) had no grounds for the same, ex­pecting when the Lord would bee pleased to work in her some great work for enabling. In which Case, now up, now down, the bet­ter shee grew in her minde, having still therewithall the greater weak­nesse and indisposition of body, she continued a long time, her old friend Mr Dod now and then once in a quarter of a year comming to visite her, whom she much rejoyced to see, praying not any more to stay so long away; for now shee rested assured her time on earth was but of small continuance. [Page 129]About which time, it fell out, that Mr Hooker also having acted his part with her, and done his best, to comfort, uphold and rectifie her spirit, so fitting her for mer­cy, as nothing remained to bee done but a full gaile of spirituall winde to blow upon her, to bring sorth her fruit, that be Gods Pro­vidence he was married unto her waiting-woman: After which both of them having lived some time after with her, and he cal'd to bee Lecturer at Chemsford in Essex, they both left her,Master Hooker leaves her. her Hus­band having provided another for the Cure, but not like unto the other; who also came often to vi­site her, being much there. And there lived also two miles from thence, a worthy good Minister, one Mr Witherell of Waltham up­on Thames, whom shee went con­stantly [Page 130]to heare, and was alwayes very helpfull unto her (but espe­cially when Mr Hooker had thus left her) whom every Thursday shee heard, hee being a painfull, able, good mercifull man, did then much help her, both in publike, and also in private helps of conference and expounding of the Word, which now shee much delighted in at all occasion; especially shee found a little comfort in opening of that chapter Micah 7. one time when Mr Dod was with her three Moneths before her death, though (as shee said) she durst not acknow­ledge nor confesse the same for feare it had not been so.

But ah, should I now lance forth into the discourse of the losse of so good a friend?The pre­paration unto her death. but what say I of losse? No, she was not lost, shee was now found with [Page 131]her face strongly bent home Heaven­wards: Having therefore thus far proceeded in this said Trage-Co­micall discourse, I must now pro­ceed to the Catastrophe thereof: If therefore good Reader, thou wilt have a little more patience to heare the rest, thou shalt quickly see the Scene change with a joy­full Comicall conclusion: For though all this while shee hath gone forth weeping carrying pre­cious seed, now thou shalt see her returne with sheaves of everlasting joy; though weeping hath beene many an evening, yet now thou shalt see Joy come in an everlasting morning. Though Satan hath much toyled, wearied out and vexed her spirit, yet thou shalt see how the God of peace shall shortly tread downe Satan under her feet: her reward infinitely surpassing all her [Page 132]momentany sufferings; which now comes to hee the fourth and last thing propounded, Her death, and the preparation unto it.

Divers years since Mr Dod left her, and some large time also after that Mr Hooker was removed unto Chemsford, shee remained more chearfull in minde, though tor­mented with her heart-burning and in manner perpetuall me­grum, which made her to lie much of the day upon her bed, unfit for any other actions of endeavor in the use of meanes she would or should otherwise be employed in. About this time a strong distaste was given her from a neare friend,A new griefe is added to the for­mer. (not necessary here to relate, nor to our purpose:) Which yet faste­ned so upon her, that it grew more and more, and brought her into a posture of great discontent, so as [Page 133]shee became in her thoughts a woman in some sort of another world; who being resolute in her way, unremoveable, having resol­ved and alwayes purposing, when shee found her selfe neare unto her last, to die at her Fathers House, and lie with her kindred and friends at Ammersum, Shee suddenly told her Husband, that shee found her selfe very ill, and therefore that shee was purposed to goe suddenly unto her Fathers House: Hee much wondering at the suddennesse of her resolution, told her, If her resolution were such, to goe so quickly, his busi­nesse was such as hee could not yet goe with her, unlesse she would stay until his businesse was di­spatcht; but if she were resolute to goe, that hee would not stay her, she might when she would. [Page 134]So shee being resolute, the next day with two of her men shee de­parted for her Fathers House, where being arrived, they wonde­ring that shee came so without her Husband, shee in plaine termes told them, That shee alwayes had resolved to die at Sharolois, and therefore shee not knowing how long her time should be, finding her weaknesse great, had now come with­out her husband to die there, saying, that her husband would shortly fol­low after.

They much wondering at this sudden newes from her, and un­expected strange speeches; yet at her comming smoothed her over, telling her that this was but some unwarranted feare had surprized her, and that she would finde her­selfe herein as in many other sur­mised things deceived. But shee [Page 135]still maintained the maine, that her time was at hand, and she very weak, though shee carryed it faire; after which her Husband in a week or ten dayes arrived: But the posture of her carriage for all this was the same, She being in a sur­passing extraordinary strange hu­nor of talking of the best things per­petually night and day without in­termission, not having any jot of sleep almost night or day; whereby her spirits were both much spent and tyred out.

The Relator who still had a watchfull eye upon all the passages of her occurrences,Mr Dod is gone for to come un­to her once more knowing of her late discontent and cause thereof, and hearing that she was removed to Sharolois, made no more adoe, but with all haste went and brought Mr Dod thi­ther, fearing that this might [Page 136]prove his last journey unto her (as indeed it proved,) when he came unto her two Sundayes before her death, he by that time found her much weakned in body, keeping her bed; but with such vehement desires to discourse of, and heare of the best things, reading, expounding and singing of Psalmes, that all were struck with admiration: and would not stay with her so long, as shee would have had us; nor read unto her, because we would gladly have had her to rest, which could not be done; for shee con­tinued still speaking both night and day to some one or other who watched with her, yet all of the best things; for her time being short, she imagined (as shee said) shee could not too advantagiously em­prove the same.

The first of the two Sundayes [Page 137]before her death,Shee in­structs, and pre­pares her children, to beare her death shee would not suffer her children to goe to Church that day, but made them stay with her, to instruct them, and speak her minde unto them, alledging that shee must take time whilst shee had time; for, she knew not whether or not shee should live untill the next Sunday: when shee vented unto them in the best manner shee could at large, all shee had to say unto them, expounding divers Scrip­tures unto them, formerly ex­pounded unto her (which shee had a large strong memory to re­taine) this day finishing all shee had to say unto them, saving at last to give them her blessing.

Now the Munday after this, was all spent in continuall confe­tence with Mr Dod, so much as he would conferre with her, for [Page 138]feare of over-toyling her spirits, shee being in the other extremity more forward to entertaine and speak of the best things,A strange change. then for­merly shee had beene backwards; which shewed some strange change at hand: yet all this while could shee, or would shee never sleep, night or day, but in a perpetuall motion of speaking of variety of all sorts of things; but by her good-will, still of Divinity, and of the life to come, undervaluing all this world, and eating sparingly.

On the Tuesday next in the morning shee sent for Mr Dod, who prayed and talkt a while with her, with variety of excellent discourse of death, heaven and eternall glory; when suddenly as prayer was done, about eight of the clock in the morning we were strangely enterrupted by a strange [Page 139]and uncouth out-cry which pro­ceeded from her, I am assured the like was never heard or read of be­fore: which uncouth language (in shew a rapture of another world) a few words whereof the Relator can shew or expresse, onely he hopes the Reader will pardon him, if he misse in recoun­ [...]ing things of another world, which Paul himselfe was at a [...]on-plus in after his rapture, [...] Cor. 12.4.7. and Peter also after [...]is descent from the Mount, Mark 9.6. not knowing what he did: So difficult it is to expresse things unutterable.

A strange Rapture of fee­ling. Oh, oh, oh, what's this, what's this, what's this? I am undone, undone, un­done, I cannot endure it, [Page 140]endure it: O, ô, ô, let me be gone, let me be gone, ô, I must be gone, I can­not tarry, I cannot tarry; ô what shall I doe? what shall I doe? O Father, O Mother, O Husband, kisse me, kisse me, and let me bee gone: Come all, farewell all, let me take you by the hand and bee gone: Lo, lo, the Angels are come, they wait, they stay for mee; O deare Mother! why hold you me? I must be gone: O, [Page 141]he is come, he is come, he is come: Now you have it, you have it, you have it, why hold you me? let me be gone, my work is done: O call, call, call, where is my Crowne? [...]etch mee my Crowne: Bring, bring, bring mee my white Robes, quick­ly, quickly, quickly, why [...]un you not? the An­gels stay, now you have it, you have it, you have it. Meaning that now wee had the [...]ssue and fruit of all our Prayers) O, it overcome, over­comes, [Page 142]overcomes me; I am undone, undone un­done; what shall I doe? what shall I doe? what shall I doe? O you will not let me be gone.

With innumerable such swift ex­pression could not bee remem­bred, shee in that short time of halfe a quarter of an houre speak­ing more then one can treatably in an houre, with an incredible switnesse (no ordinary action of this life) when withall shee heaved and heaved up still all the time with fixed eyes towards the house top, as though shee had seene some Vi­sion, and would have flown away from them all, making a hole through the chamber Roofe; Du­ring [Page 143]which time (as wee cannot blame them;) the posture of all the Spectators was (save her Husband who went weeping and wringing his hands up and down the Chamber) silence, wonder, and admiration; they in all their life time having never seene or heard of the like: Which put Mr Dod, her Husband, and all of them to a non-plus (as being be­yond all experience:) But if the Reader will have patience, this good Creature shall her selfe ex­pound this rare Riddle, yea, and comment upon it.

This fit of sudden, extreame, ravishing unsupportable joy, (be­yond the strength of mortality to retaine or belong capable of) be­ing over, and shee layd againe; who formerly had striven to have got away from them all; they [Page 144]all being in an amazed astonished silence; shee her selfe began thus? Why are you all silent? Her speech af­ter her Rapture. where is Mr Dod? Who being neere unto her, sat down on the beds side by her, unto whom shee thus directed her speech, Sir, what did you think of mee lately in this strange posture I have been in? did not you imagine me to have been mad all the time? Mr Dod Replyed, No, but that it was very strange unto them all, having never heard or seene the like. So (said she) surely it was, it was very strange, But will you know how it surprized mee? As this mor­ning ere you came to prayer, I being alone prayed to God that hee would not absent him­selfe for ever: but that once be­fore my death, hee would re­veale Christ unto mee, give mee [Page 145]some sense and feeling of his love: And open the brazen Gates of his hard heart of mine, that the King of glory might enter in. After which as you had prayed, this sudden out-crying fit of un­supportable joy and feeling surpri­zed mee with such violence rush­ing in upon me, as I could not containe my selfe, but make this sudden out-cry amongst you all: But I must confesse unto you, I know not, neither doe I remember what I said: But now I beseech you to make his use hereof hereaf­ter unto all in my Case.

Trium­phant rare Speech and con­fession. After mee never dis­paire of any, how despe­ratly [Page 146]miserable so ever their Case bee (which at the worst cannot exceed mine) but use and apply the meanes unto them, and they will prevaile at length. I was like a piece of knotty timber, who have endured so many the more knocks with strong wedges, so much adoe there was to work me; but now I thank God, who hath heard my prayer and revealed Christ unto me, and now [Page 147]I care not for all this world: The fountaine of all my misery hath been, that I sought for that in the Law which I should have found in the Go­spel, and for that in my selfe which was only to be found in Christ. A wrong way I confesse, which hath occasioned unto me so much sorrow; but now all is well; O pray, pray, pray, O give thanks; for, now you have it, you have it, you have it.

This so solid strange speech, so heavenly, rationall, gave a great deale of contentment unto all present; Mr Dod according unto her desire, framing himself unto a prayer altogether of thanksgi­ving, admiring Gods infinite work in her, and for her, be­seeching a happy close of this great work begun: For matter of petition now shee cared not for, lying like a Conqueror, with an extraordinary cheerefull aspect, full of rapt joy, as now shee had been possessor of all things, ha­ving no need of any thing; now that Christ was hers, all things be­ing hers also; the remainder of the day being spent in over-joyed speeches, with exhortations to Thanksgiving; still telling us, Now you have it, yee have it, you have it: and taking our hands [Page 149]in hers, and heaving them up and down many times together very thankfull unto us all, as shee wished us to bee thankfull unto God for her.

She hath the like Rapture again. This same Tuesday, again about soure a clock in the afternoone, the Chamber being full of her friends, joyfull to see her so fraught with joy, after so many sorrowfull dayes: Suddenly shee sell out againe, in a strange man­ner, in such an other rapt fit of joy, beyond all expression, utter­ing just about the same things as formerly, in the same manner as in the morning, enduring about the same time; and so ceased and was quiet againe as formely: She thereupon called Mr Dod, won­dering, told him, That her joy and sense thereof, was so over-comming [Page 150]and strong, as shee could not for her life containe her selfe, from bur­sting forth thus againe; for as shee said her fraile flesh was over­come therewith; and so shee en­treating him again to give thanks, he did so, spending the remain­der of that day in heavenly dis­course of another world; hoping that shee should that night have step soundly, having now watched and been without sleep, above a week together: But it seemes, as as the lame man, Act. 3.8. having received his feet, for joy did no­thing for awhile but skip, frisk, and leap; so shee now having been as it were in another world, revi­ved with uncouth new joyes, could not take any rest or sleep, but rejoyce alwayes and talke of the same. And so that night having divers friends to watch [Page 151]and sit by her, shee spent the same in good discourse and singing of Psalmes.

All the time shee had been ill, shee could not of all the Psalmes endure to joyn in singing of the thirty Psalme, but that night of her selfe she cal'd for it, with this expression, Cousin now turn to the thirty Psalme (by the Relator al­wayes urged upon her to belong unto her) but I durst never appro­priate or apply the same unto my selfe, until now, and so that Tuesday night sung the same every cheerefully, as was said, she pas­sing this night over also without any inclination to rest or sleep.

On the Wednesday morning,Her dressing for the grave. her indulgent Mother, that wor­thy good soule Mr Tottle, did rise betimes and came to visite her, when finding her in a strange [Page 152]unusuall Attire, for that morning (now apprehending death at hand) she had caused her selfe to be dressed from top to toe all in white, concealing her conceit therein untill her Mother came; who seeing her thus strangely drest, spake lovingly unto her in her accustomed phrase: How now Daughter, what's the matter with thee? me thinks thou lookest like a Bride, So I am Mother (saith she) a Bride now trimmed for Christ the Bridegroome, and now Mother I have my last suit to make unto you (for I am a woman of another world) when I am dead, I pray you, dresse me just thus as you see me now, and so let me be laid in my grave; for, for this cause, I caused my self to be dressed thus this morning, that you might see how I would be laid in the grave: Whereunto her [Page 153]Mother bursting forth into weep­ing, shee comforted her all shee could, saying, Mother, me thinks you should rather rejoyce to see me so neare home, after that I have so long a time been storm beaten and sea-sick, not now to grudge that I am arrived so neare the haven: And so prayd her to suffer her willing­ly to depart home in peace: whereupon her Mother for that time (being a matchlesse ten­der Mother) parted with many teares.

Soone after this came Mr Dod and Dr Preston to her, unto whom she with a great deale of joy told the same discourse as formerly she had done unto her Mother, That thus as shee was then drest, she de­sired to be laid in the grave: Af­ter their departure having prayed with her and given thanks (for no [Page 154]other part of prayer shee now affected, as being heire of all things, not having need of any thing) shee sent for divers of the house severally,Shee schooles the ser­vants. unto whom shee gave seasonable and sutable exho­tations, fitting unto their places, taking her leave of them all: wherein shee was so punctuall, that what with her good will she would have had every servant of the house to have come severally un­to her; but that her Mother fea­ring that which after came to passe, some weaknesse to ensure so much watching, speaking and toyling incessantly of her spirits, durst not expose her unto the ha­zard of so insupportable a toyle.

Being now very much spent, this Wednesday after dinner, shee caused to voide her Chamber of every body, and sent for her [Page 155]Father to speak with, shoole, and take leave of him; whom shee dealt with and schooled (having him all alone) for above an houre together;Shee schooles and takes leave of her fa­ther. whom when shee had said her minde unto, and taken her leave of, shee dismissed him. At his descending from her, the Relator did what hee could in a a faire way to have fished from him, what she had said unto him: Of whom nothing could bee ob­tained, save in the generall, That hee had given him very good coun­sell, both touching his wife and himselfe, and concerning the orde­ring of his estate and family, and to keep a Preacher in his house; with many other, all good things, is hee said.

Presently after this shee called to speak with the Relator,Her farewell speech to the Re­lator. whom having made to sit down by her, [Page 156]shee first gave him many solemne thanks in a full gaile of loving expressions for his care and paines taken with her; and then she said she had a suit unto him: Who re­plyed, that any suit of hers, if in his power, was granted ere known; which yet served not the turne, but shee would have his hand to forgive her; which being done, she prayed him to forgive her; who wondering at the strange­nesse of this needlesse suit, told her, that hee had rather cause to ask forgivenesse of her, having much failed both in duty and love unto her:A rare confessi­on. O no, said shee, you must forgive me that you for so many yeares together having shewed mee so much love, and beene a meanes of my everlasting comfort and happinesse, that yet I have been so unkind unto you, for [Page 157]I have not loved you by the hun­dred part, in that measure I ought to have done, according to that love you have shewed mee: But will you know the cause? I could love no body as I should so long as I was not assured of Gods love to me (for that onely sets our love a fire to runne strongly the right way) I could untill then neither love you nor any body else, during so much distraction and diversion as I should have done: And now that my love is thus kindled, this is my sorrow (my time being short) that now I can no otherwise ex­presse my selfe then by this poore acknowledgement, in a time I am so unfit and disabled to performe my desires: But I well hope, that what I cannot doe, that God who set you a work you my good, and my other friends will performe, when I [Page 158]am gone: And so for that time with abundance of love and thanks dismissed the Relator.

Thus having in some ample manner disposed of all the busi­nesse shee seemed to have in this world: The remainder of this af­ternoone shee lay in her former joyfull posture, rejoycing to speak of the best things unto every one neare unto her; yet without any rest or sleep, or inclination that way. When Mr Dod and Dr Pre­ston came to visite her, shee still entreating to give thanks, no o­ther discourse shee had, as want­ing nothing: So continuing all this day, untill the evening late, that there was a great change, as in part shall be shewed; for least shee should bee lifted up through her former revelation, joyes and rapture, so short which endured [Page 159]not, surpassing her strength, shee had a weakning cooler to keep her down low.

Shee is surprised with a weakness. For, lo, lo, the Scene now changes againe, the curtaine waves and tosses a little with an uncouth winde, party coloured, no firme im­pressions appeared: She who lately was in a glorious triumph, flying away forcibly from us all, as it were with Eagles wings mounting upwards, is now suddenly surpri­zed with an extreame fainting and weaknesse of spirits, being for ten dayes and nights over-wearied, watched and toyled out, so as now shee bewrayed some weaknesse in her expressions, not being as for­merly so lively and substantiall; which continued the Thursday and Friday after, never having a­ny rest or sleep all the time; which distemper, made them send [Page 160]post to London for two Physitians, hoping by their advice to have made her rest: But all in vaine, No physick could cure her but heavenly physick: Therefore on the Saturday, Mr Dod, Dr Preston, and Mr Hooker, A Fast kept for her. kept a private fast for her; the issue whereof was, in that forenoone she fell asleep, rested soundly some five or six houres together, and then waked in a very milde gentle temper. Then shee cal'd unto her Cousin Herreis (a good Gentlewoman, al­wayes exceeding carefull of her) Sarah, tell me, did not I lately in some speeches forget my selfe? Whereunto her Answer was, Tru­ly Cousin so you did, but we im­puted the same to your many dayes and night-watchings, and over-wearying of your spirits, un­able so long to hold out: So it [Page 161]was, said she, My spirits were spent and gone, which caused that weak­nesse.

Her death. Then shee remembring all that had passed, her strange Raptures, (but nothing which then shee had said in them) retaining her former grounds, comfort and cheereful­nesse (as in so much weaknesse could bee expressed) cald for Mr Dod, Dr Preston, with the rest of her friends, causing them to give thanks with her, and for her, venting her selfe unto them thus, That her time was now at hand, prayd them not to leave her, and being very weak, spake then her minde unto her Father, Mother, and Husband, in a sort taking leave of them, sent for her Children, and blessed them, now magining to have done all her work: And so from thence fell into [Page 162]a silent Rapture of joyfull singing of Hymnes, and verses of Psalms, not greatly caring to speak un­to any body, save now and then unto Mr Dod when hee mo­ved an occasion: And so shee lay this Saturday night, and the next Sunday, only when Mr Dod came desiring still to give thanks, all which time shee grew weaker and weaker, having by this time no audible but a hollow low voyce, scarce to be understood.

The Munday after in the mor­ning when shee fell asleep be­ing come, Mr Dod with the rest comming unto her, shee when shee saw them all about her, re­joyced and smiled, taking them all by the hand with a cheere­full countenance, beckned unto Master Dod to give thanks, and bent her selfe what shee could [Page 163]with lifted up hands to joyne, speaking softly unto her selfe in her Hymning way: And so whilst they were at Prayer, suddenly her hands falling, and her lips going, she sunck down in the bed and departed, leaving all her friends mourning about her.

Thus have we seene the strange Story, and scarce credible, the like never heard of before I be­lieve, of this good Gentlewoman, whom now wee will suffer to rest in peace, freed from all the stormes and tempests wherein shee left her survivers,Her bu­riall. Who two dayes after was buried according to her desire at Ammersum, in that Attire shee before her death bad dressed her selfe; Dr Preston Preaching her funerall Sermon, with the infinite teares of all her friends and poore of the Parish.

Shee was of an extraordinary sincere, plaine, true heart; full and abounding in love, mervellous se­cret in all her goodnesse, very charitable to the poore, of an un­blameable conversation and life; and the best Anti-hypocrite (Christ excepted) that ever lived; for, she alwayes wore her worst side out-most, and wonderfully clok'd all the goood things shee ever did or said; with all her skill endevouring to extenuate all shee this way did or said: Of her jewels and other things her Husband lovingly gave her way to dispose of, shee left Legacies and remembrances un­to all her friends who had beene most helpfull unto her; and for­ty shillings a piece unto some few good poor women, whom she had secretly, unknown unto any, pro­cured to pray constantly for her.

And now that we have brought this good Creature into Hea­ven, good Reader give mee [...]eave, out of all which hath been said (for memories sake) to sum up briefly her grand Case; least it should be mistaken.

The sum of this grand Case. A good Creature, in her na­turall estate, qualified with the best of meere natures endow­ments; accidentally encountring with some grand difficulties, which a little overcame her na­turall parts. By the way, being surprized with admiration and wonder at the power of godli­nesse in some eminent Professors her Neighbours (the reflex where­of struck her with a strong con­viction, not no be yet the same, [...]s to bee saved shee must needs bee) with her other concurring crosses, wrought so upon her, as [Page 166]shee became very melancholy, yet with an enforced mirth to cloke the same; which advan­tage Satan espying (who still loves to work out his ends by that dolefull temper) he assaults her with fearefull night-dreames, seconded with divers wilde-fire temptations to have driven her unto finall dispaire, which hee had well neare effected. Meane while God intending to make her an everlasting monument of his mercy, intending a great work unto others by her trou­ble and deliverance; to convert by the way her Husband and Parents with divers others in both Families (so stopping di­vers gaps with one bush) and (as hee alwayes doth, and hath done) to over-shoot Satan in his own Bow; provides and sends [Page 167]one of a thousand to finde her out, wrastle with all her temp­tations, foyle Satan, and con­vince her judgement; so draw­ing her unto a conformity of the meanes; though with much op­position. But yet so, as an ha­bituall indisposition shee had ac­quired (spiced with the dregges of remaining temptations) kept her off from endeavour, never all this time having had any com­fort of feeling; which shee so eagerly desiring, without paines taking for it, in the interim shee is well beaten; God at leghth yeelding unto the importunity of prayers for her, affords her such an immense measure of comfort and feeling for a small time, as mor­tality was incapble to retaine: After which (her spirits thereby vanquished) out-wearied with [Page 168]watching and incessant speaking for divers dayes and nights to­gether, for a small time shee be­wrayes some weaknesse. But up­on a private Fast kept for her two dayes before her death, shee revives againe, maintaines her grounds, former joyes and feeling; from thence untill her death, remaining in a silent Rap­ture of joyes; wherein shee de­parted: leaving her selfe, the e­ver memorable mirror of Gods wonderfull mercies, unto all the stiffe, obdurate, hard-hearted for ever.

And now, good Reader, tell mee, Is it fit or possible that we should part with so grand, strange, rare, and matchlesse a CASE, without some briefe use thereof unto the Survivers? for which cause it hath beene [Page 169]written, and for ought wee know, all her sufferings were: O no, courage then, hold out a little, and I will now dispatch briefly, endeavouring in the Ca­tastrophe of this our Tragi-Come­die, to recompence thy pati­ence, with the fragrance of some sweet smelling close of some Di­vine rarities.

Vse. First, Then here wee may learne, That not the great things of this world makes one happy, but the favour of the great God: Nothing being able to content the soule, but that which is able to fill it, which all this world cannot doe: Shewing that there is nothing such in these earth­ly things (as wee imagine) in the evill day or times of tryall. Witnesse this good Gentlewo­man, the subject of our dis­course, [Page 170]who might have swim­med in the fulnesse of all earthly pleasures; all which were no­thing unto her, shee was dampt in the midst of all; so as no­thing could revive or joy her (like unto David) save the light of Gods countenance to be lifted up upon her. And therefore, not to deceive our selves, but to settle in our judgements, that wherein onely true solid lasting happinesse consists, the favour of God, and follow that with all our might.

Secondly, Then see hence, That of all the Burthens in this world, sinne is the most insuppor­table, especially when therewith in any measure is joyned a sense of the wrath of God: For if God, as it is in Amos, complaine, that hee is pressed down under the [Page 171]same, as a Cart under the sheaves, the sense thereof also making David to roare for griefe of heart, having also bred so much terror, amazement and trou­ble unto this good Gentlewo­man, for so many yeares toge­ther, being free of grosse sinnes; what may they think of them­selves, who goe on sinning with­out feare, living and going on in grosser sins without repentance?

Thirdly, Here we may see, That in the best, where there is sinne, there must and will bee smarting punishments, though it be forgiven as Davids was: Yet we may sound­ly be beaten for the same, he taking vengeance of our inventions, as the Psalmist speaks: for this good Gentlewoman, though saved and forgiven, yet was soundly beaten ere shee departed hence. There­fore [Page 172]to bee afraid to sinne, and to stand in awe of the anger of the great God; for though hee may forgive, yet if hee open Hell unto us, keep us in perpetuall fear as upon the rack, as he did this good Hentlewoman, letting Satan loose to buffet her, oh what com­fort can we have in such a tormen­ting dying life? having our hap­pinesse hid form our eyes?

Fourthly, Hence also we may learn, That the more beloved, usu­ally the soundlier beaten, sifted and tried, Amos 3. You only have I known, of all the Nations of the Earth, therefore you shall not goe unpunished for all your iniquities; wherefore corrections being a sign of love, not of reprobation (as the Devill perswades) that the Saints should not be discouraged though storme-beaten in their journey [Page 173]homewards; they may goe to Heaven for all this, as this good Gentlewoman did.

Fifthly, And so here also we may gather what need we have of pati­ence to have its perfect work in us, to fit us for the greatest and most smarting afflictions: there being yet some light in this darke cloud; the sorest and most smarting crosses, ending usually in the greatest and most glorious deliverances: Wit­nesse the none-such troubles of Iacob, Ioseph, Iob, David, the Churches forty years Pilgrimage in the Wildernesse, & of this good Gentlewoman, all ending in peace and joy; because the promise is, that of necessity, the patient abiding of the righteous must needs end in joy.

Sixthly, Then also we see here, that crosses and afflictions are only lesser and greater, as it pleases the [Page 174]great God to set them on lesse or more: as it pleases him to ab­stract the light of hs countenance from us, turn loose Satan upon us, enfatuate our judgements, gi­ving us some taste and sense of his encensed wrath: Oh! who then can dwell with such everlasting burnings? and if smaler sins dis­covered thus set on and torment, yea, some thoughts only, as in this good Gentlewoman; Oh! what may the greater doe, if he should aggravate them, discovering the wrath due unto them, without a suitable sight of mercy? There­fore to break off our sins betimes, repent of them, and to sow for our selves in righteousnesse, that wee may have a sure reward, and bee able at last to stand with boldnesse before the Son of Man.

Seventhly, So seeing too eager de­sire [Page 175]of feeling cost this Gentlewo­man so deare though shee had her desire, therefore not to dote too much upon it; being restlesse untill they have it, as many good soules doe, who like Rachel restlesse for children, cryd out still, comfort, comfort, feeling feeling, or else wee die: But let them be contented of what measure thereof God of his infinite wisedome thinks best for them: For, He who hath created them for eternity of glory, surely knowes the best meanes and way to bring them thither: Seeing, feel­ing at the best is uncertaine, short and quickly vanishing; and too much doted upon and eagerly per­sued, brings us onely to a habit of discontentment without it: whilst wee cannot bee contented unlesse every day the Almighty feast us, forgetting that wee walk, by faith, [Page 176]and not by sight; and that the life we now live in the flesh is by the Faith of the Son of God; vision and sense, for to come.

Eighthly, Then behold from this rare experience here this les­son, Not to prescribe or appoint God a way which way to bring us unto glory; Hee knew the fittest and shortest way to have brought the children of Israel unto the Land to Canaan, without passing through a red sea; But out of his infinite wisedome, he made choyce of the wildernesse way unto them, That (as Moses shewes) hee might prove them, try them and doe them good at their latter end: And yet how crooked soever his wayes seem un­to our corrupted senses, they bee alwayes straight, how full soever of turnings and windings; as the Psalmists, That hee brought them [Page 177]out by a right way unto Canaan: Therefore to rest confident herein, that this which God appoints is alwayes best for us; whether hee lead us in a wildernesse, in a a straight, crooked, smooth, tedi­ous long afflicted way, by the gates of Hell unto Heaven, or with a more gentle comfortable gale of joy; let us be contented, so he bring us thither, as hee did this good woman here; if by any meanes wee attaine unto a joyfull Resurrection of the Dead, it is a very great purchase as Paul ac­knowledges.

Ninthly, For (which is the next) Sure it is, Seeing a glance of Hea­ven, a little taste of heavenly joy is so prevalent to make us to forget all, even an age of afflicti­ons, as this good Gentlewoman found, who thereupon forgot all her [Page 178]by-past troubles swallowed up in surmounting joyes; I say, if a touch, a taste, a short glance onely bee so forcible and ravishing. How sur­mountingly excellent glorious and ravishing shall that estate bee to drink at the fountaine head of the beatificall vision, out of the rivers of his pleasures of ever? There­fore to rest confident and patient in all afflictions, seeing our com­forts are at length beyond all our crosses; seeing God ruines none by afflictions, but purged, puri­fies, cleanses, whitens, enlightens and fits us thereby to bee vessels capacious of so much the more glory; out of the ruines of the flesh, erecting, framing and build­ing up that glorious struckture of the new creature, to mount up at length out of the wildernesse of this world, fraught with Myrthe [Page 179]and Frankincense, and all the spi­ces of the Merchant, unto eternity of glory for ever.

Tenthly, Next hence observe, That God never comes too late unto his servants, but will alwayes bee seene in the Mount, making our extremities his opportunities: as he did unto Abraham in Isaac's case, and as this good Gentlewoman found, who being much afflicted, comfortlesse for many yeares to­gether, even at the point of death: yet at length hee was entreated, came and revived her, in a swifter course then the running swift Cha­rets of Aminadah: nay, came flying as it were upon the wings of the winde, passing and skipping by all the hills of sinnes and mountaines of her corruptions; when (in her appearing last suit unto him, and extreame weaknesse) she had beg'd [Page 180]now at length once before her death to open the brazen gates of her hard heart, that the King of glory might enter in; which was abundantly done. Therefore, though he stay never so long, let all the hard-hearted gaine by this experience of hers; with the Churches resolution in Isaiah, I will wait upon him who hides his face from the house of Iacob; and I will look for him; and reason good, For he never failes of con­ming, being waited for, and engaged by so many promises; wherein it is impossible for him to deny himselfe.

Eleventhly, Further also hence wee may learn how to deale with those in affliction in whatsoever Case: View them well first, be not too brief with them; Heare them vent themselves, Try the symp­tomes and palses of their disease, [Page 181] as Iobs three friends who sate (it is written) seven dayes and nights silent, because they saw his griefe was great; for unseasonable comforts are and prove but like [...]aine falling upon hard stones, which runs off as fast as it comes, making no impressions: whilst their buz­zing heads and transported spirits are gadding, plodding elsewhere with strong diversions; as it fell out with this good Gentlewoman; who passed not for all was said unto her for a long time, neither was hope of cure, untill the De­vils counsell was bewrayed.

1. Therefore, it behoves to be circumspect and patient awhile to finde out the cause and circum­stances of distempers, or else no good can bee done; for though counsell in the heart of a man be like deep waters, yet Salomon [Page 182]shewes, that a man of understand­ing will fetch it out.

2. And then his counsell being bewrayed, the Patient must be mild­ly, meekly and gently used, not hald and puld, hurried and chid; O no, this is a wrong course; but used with abundant patience and love, waited upon, with many good words, and suffered to bemoane themselves as much as they list, repeating one thing still over and over againe, as often as they please; Many good things fit for them must be uttered in their hearing not too soone pressd upon them, as spoken unto others; they must have here a little and there a little, not pressd beyond their strength; wonne by degrees with a loving sweet affable car­riage; as all these yeares of this good womans trouble shee was [Page 183]served by all her friends which wonne much, and wrung many things from her in love which could not otherwise possibly have been attained: For alas, All that while they are in a spirituall fever; and what mad Physitian will ad­venture to give physick in a burning fever?

3. When they begin to mend and become more docible, wee must not then bring like Iobs friends (who mistook his case) the Law for the Gospel. This is Sa­tans work usually, most of them are to apt to lay too much load upon themselves; It is an easie matter to throw down, when one is a going (facilis discensus Averni) then it is Satans work, down with it, down with it, down with it e­ven to the ground: O, but it is the work of the great God to raise [Page 184]one up who is dejected: It is the work of the Holy Ghost in that case to raise up, encourage, and convince us in a despairing estate: Wherefore spirituall Physitians must be like Christ the great Phy­sitian, of whom it is said, A bruised reed shall hee not break, and smoaking flax shall he not quench, untill hee bring forth judgement unto victory, or a victorious san­ctification in us: as wee were glad to doe by this good creature, by all gentle meanes to toll on, up­hold and cherish her spirit, untill God at length came in, and did all.

Twelfly, But lo, lo, whilst we are now towards a conclusion, where Thanksgiving also appeareth, in treating on the passages of this Rare Case not to be forgotten, so as the stupidity, dulnesse, dead­nesse [Page 185]and sluggishnesse of our sin­full dispositions might be whetted and set on edge more then ever thereby unto more exact and seri­ous frequent actings thereof; for our freedome from those innumera­ble troubles, sorrowes, sicknesses and diseases, both inward and out­ward, of all sorts, which tormenteth many others better then we; who enjoying abundance of unpercei­ved, ordinary mercies, doe there­fore slight and neglect the same: For, when vexations of tooth-ach, stone, strangury, convulsions, gout, palsies, burning, fevers, agues, ulcers, swellings, broken and dis-joynted bones, streined sinews, displaced arteries, inflam­mations and the like annoy us; terrors of conscience, with a wounded spirit; Satans incessant buffettings, apprehensions of Hell, [Page 186]and the wrath of God affright us: O what torments, dolefull dayes and miseries doe we endure, to bee as it is, Deut. 28. In per­petuall feares, having no assurance of our lives? And yet O how un­thankfull are wee and senslesse of so great and wonderfull mercies, as daily and nightly we are freed from, the least whereof (when their contraries suprize us) makes us cry out as most miserable: witnesse this good Gentlewoman fore-mentioned, Who being and living in continuall fears, valued nothing at all this world, took no comfort in any thing here below: And yet it is strange how daily we slubber over our Thanks givings and freedom from miseries we en­joy, as though they were not most great and wonderfull, every mor­ning renewed mercies; or else we [Page 187]should have wonderfull and dole­full dayes: But it is our misery and frailty, that a prick of a pin in our flesh usually wee are more sensible of, then of the health and harmonicall concord both of soul and body: And therefore hereaf­ter, to chase, survey, and consider of our present mercies, to bruise and tosse them, as men doe Aro­matick sweets, that their fragian­cies may the more abundantly spread forth themselves, whilst the North and South winde of the spirit thus blowes upon them, to shew forth and make us consider of their excellencies unto Admi­rations utmost wonder; thus to ascend a higher pitch upon this [...]ount of Thanksgiving, and be­come more perfect upon earth of our endlesse work in Hea­ven.

Thirteenthly, As we began with this good Creature, who led forth the Van in a Tempest; so now ha­ving been victorious, let us so far honour her as to bring up the Reere, and make the last Use, which she her selfe made unto all suc­ceeding Survivers howsoever af­flicted, especially, by dissertion or hardnesse of Heart: That they should upon experience of her CASE, and Gods goodnesse un­to her, not be so discouraged in any estate whatsoever, as to give over the use of meanes, but to ply them still; trust and wait, and they would prevaile at length. There­fore then from hence, let all such learn to wait and depend upon God: And since (as it is Isa. 30.) hee waits in all their troubles for an opportunity to shew mercy unto them; therefore to wait and de­pend [Page 189]upon him untill hee come: For though they may wait long, yet herein they may abundantly comfort themselves, That God will comfort them according to all the dayes they have beene af­flicted, and the years wherein they have seene evill; That hee who hath shewed us sore and great troubles, will yet quicken us a­gaine, and bring us up from the depth of the earth; encrease our greatnesses and comfort us on e­very side, Psal. 71.20.21. That though they have beene led through fire and water, causing men ride over their heads, yet that he will bring them forth unto a wealthy place, Psal. 66.12. That when they walk in the midst of trouble, God will revive them, and maintaine their cause, Psal. 140.12. That after deliverances [Page 190]from affliction, their souls shall be as a watered Garden, and shall not sorrow any more at all, Ier. 31.12. And that in deliverance, they shall have severall comforts, answering their severall crosses, Ier. 31.8. being built up againe, as at the first, Ier. 33.7.

And therefore to persist and goe on, trusting still and depending upon God; because though they may for the present want sense and feeling of Gods love; yet (as Peter speaks) because in the interim they are kept by the power of God unto salvation, that they are all in Gods hand at the worst, Deut. 33.3. from above having the eternall God for their refuge; be­neath being claspt in his ever­lasting armes, Deut. 23.27. And so, Because hee brings light from darknesse, perfection from weaknesse, [Page 191]by death bringing unto life, and by the gates of Hell unto Heaven: Seeing he makes all things work together for good unto us, and [...]ll his works (how crosse so [...]e­ [...]er) beautifull in time. O let the [...]ints after so rare a President of this good woman, never here­after hee out of Heart, assuring themselves of deliverance whatso­ever their Case be, in using of the [...]tanes: For, What is a hard heart, [...] ten thousand hard hearts un­ [...] that great God, who with a [...]ord made Heaven and Earth? [...] whom nothing is too hard, [...]en. 17.1. Who over-turneth the [...]ountaines by the roots, who [...]akes the Earth; Heaven drop­ [...]ing at his presence, Psal. 78.8 [...]ho calleth all the Stars by their [...]mes; by the greatnesse of his [...]ight, spans the Heavens, clo­thing [Page 192]them with blacknesse, making Sack-cloth their covering; com­manding the Sun not to rise, and sealing up the Starres, &c.

Upon all these grounds there­fore, and many moe (too tedious to relate) let all stoope unto God, Saint-like lie and sit down at his feet, receiving of his words, taking the experimentall counsell of this good woman, to keep close unto God in the use of meanes, and then they are safe, Resolving that though they die, yet to die as his feet; and so to wait, and trust still unto the last, for he will come at last unto them; as Habacus hath it, The vision is for an ap­pointed time, though it tarry, yet wait, for it will come and not tar­ry, as it did unto this good wo­man after ten years expectation, whose abundant feeling and com­forts [Page 193]in the end, did manifoldly s [...]rmount all her sufferings and toubles in an unspeakable man­ner and measure, leaving her selfe as the matchlesse monument of Gods unspeakeable mercy, unto all stout, stiffe, and hard-hearted sinners for ever, even though for a while they doe resist the meanes; who for all this may be won by overcomming mercies as she was; so tryumphing over all their spirituall enemies, as to sing at length in a more en­sulting and lofty way with Debo­rah.

Judg. 5.21. O my Soule! thou hast trodden down strength.