The CHARACTER of a CEREMONY-MONGER.
CHAP. I. Concerning Bowing to the Altar, to the East.
THe Cringes and Bowings of the Papists to the Altar, is in Adoration of their wafer God that [...] there (they think) Enthron'd; and is (by the Homilies of the Church of England) frequently styled Idola [...]ry; and the Act of a Fool.
But the Cringes and Bowings of my Ceremony Monger to the Altar, to the East, whe [...] there is nothing, (he must confess whatever he has secretly [...] here (nei [...]her more nor better than what is in the W [...]ll, in the B [...]frey, or the Body of the Church; therefore some call him a Fool; but (like Merry Andrew) though he act like a Fool, he is more Knave than Fool; and though [...]ry Noddy pretends that he nods to nothing, yet the old Dotard does not play the Fool for nothing; but he is as well paid for playing the Coxcom▪ in his silly Superstition, as the best Merry Andrew of them all. For it is well known what an Influence Papists had in the three last [...]gns of B. Laud. the two Castiemains, and Father Peter; who not being able to bring in Popery, or a Bishop [...]llis into a Protestant Church, and Protestant Preferment; (the Laws Excluding such) therefore they encour [...]ged any [...]ly Superstition that was a Quid pro Quo; and as like Popish Idolatry, as Twins of the same Womb.
Thus put [...]ing the Chang [...] upon us, and Engrossing a great many of the Protestant Preferments. Honours, and Privnedges to Fellows that were as like Papists, and our Churches, and Worship, Adorations and Ceremonies, as like Pop [...]sh Ceremonies; and our Paul's, as like St. Peter's, as one Egg is like another, to see to; though the Yolks within may perhaps show some little Distinction; and a Ceremonious Arminian is no right-down papist, for if he should, he could not be capable of his high Seat in a protestant Church; and therefore he will rather confess himself a F [...]ol in cringing like an Ass to nothing, than be turn'd out of Church and the Revenues thereof, by confessing that he bows to things Divine, Transubstantiated from a silly Wafer; and rather than lose his soft place in Church or Senace, he chooses rather to confess the soft place in his Head.
But if you take him really for a Fool, you mistake him vilely; (as I said before) this Ecclesiastical Mountebank is more knave than Fool, and bo [...]s for something; even when he bows to nothing, he gets Money by't, he gets Money by the Bargain, and thou [...]h he shake his Reverend Nodle, as if it was empty (by making Reverences to an empty place) yet he knows why and wherefore.
For though he seems to adore a Non-Entity, you are mistaken in my Man, for he there by adores his ch [...]efest God, (Mammon) And his making foolish Legs to the Altar, like an Ass, was the ready Road to make Legs at Court, and be an Ecclesiastical Apuleian Golden Ass.
For as a Costerd-Monger gets his Living and Estate (often a great one) by vending Trifles and Trinkets of his own Purchase (as Perts, Plums or Apples) to that Improvement many times, that he makes Money (even) of his Rotten Ware.
So a Ceremony-Monger gets his living and Estate (a great one oftentimes) by Trifling Trinkets, and illegal (as well as) nonsensical Ceremonies in Religion, (or rather his own Superstition) of his own Purchase, or the Invention of his private Noddle; to that Improvement many times, that he grows great in the World, and in the Church; and makes Money (even) of hi [...] Rotten Ware, especially in bad times.
For this Ecclesiastical Quack (like other staging Empyricks) always gets most Money and Elieem; and both of them make the best Markets for their Impostures and Rotten Druggs in the sickliest and worst of times.
'Tis best, with these Stagers, when 'tis worst with all the rest of Mankind: For it men be well to Health, and well in their Wits; both these Merry Andrews (that for Money make fools of themselves) may go whistle; they may shut up their Shops, and pull down their Stage.
Risum Teneatis? Amici! Come hold your sides, and look demurely if you can (for your very guts, and spleen) to see a grave Dignitory of the Church, with Tippet and Sattin Cap, a gaudy Cope and Hood (before and behind) Nodding his Reverend Head, and making Reverences of humble, that his brisly Chin even kisses the ground (no Antick French Man, or Father Peter, can out vic the Complement) in an humble Address to the East, to the Altar, and where there is better something or nothing more than in the Belfry and in the West Catechize my Don, (for he has been twice a Child, Come! Ask him (I say) does his Ecclesiastical Donship bow and Cringe so supplely (notwithstanding his Age) to something, or to nothing?
If he answers—To something; Then take him Father Dada, for he is thine, [...] him in the Service and Devotion of thy Water-God.
But if he reneages (because Papists are not capable of a Dignity in the Church of England) and i [...] forc'd to answer, that he bows to nothing; then beg him for a Fool, and his richer Dignities; take him Merry-Andrew, for he is thine: He is that ridiculous Stager that makes a Fool of himself, to pick up the Pence; and no little neither: For when Popery will not, cannot get up to the top of the Steeple or Pinacle of the Temple, (where the Devil stood tempting our blessed Saviour with the World and the glory of it) my Ceremony Monger being possess'd, runs mad to be there: which since all the Avenues are stopt against Lord Bishop Goddard and bare fac'd Popery, my crafty Ceremony-Monger claps a vizard over the ugly bare face, and passe most religiously so one of the Order, and Reverendly with a M [...]que, does his Business, and perhaps gets a Mandate, —In a Mo [...]k Election of the Chapter, which in their Prayers for divine Assistance in the Election not only mock themselves, but which is infinitely worse, they mock the Almighty God too, when they pray him to direct them in the choice of a fit Man: when he is chosen before to their hands, and they neither can will nor chuse.
If you do not yet know my Ceremony-Monger, I'll tell you his Name.
His Name is Legion, for never was the Herd more numerous, or more possessed, since the Devil enter'd into the Herd of Swine; and made them run (like man) violently down hill, though they are like to perish in the Waters.
For this Ecclesiastical Hotspur (though he) has but a minute (Sober) share of Knowledge, yet he has Zeal like mad; And therefore never admits any heartily into his spiritual Muster-Roll or Lift, but blind Conformists; that are presently Tall-Fellows, and preferr'd if they can, but readily obey this one word of Command, Streighten your Files, Follow your File leader.
Thus, like Horses in a Team, they all Uniformly plod on together, most gravely and soberly (with Nose in his Leaders Hind [...]) and Showel-Hal [...]ers through thick and thin, at all adventures, minding nothing (they poor H [...]r [...]s!) but following the Fore Horse, though he go out of the way, as irregularly and illegally, as irrationally, falling into a Slough, but desperately bent, though not one of them know why, not wherefore; nor dare say, whether they cringe and bow to something, or nothing. For they are forc'd to whisper when they say, that they crings to nothing, least the Papists (that preferr them) should hear, and then they're sure to get nothing, therefore are forc'd to say nothing, yet nod to nothing.
If I were a Papist or Anthropo-Morphite, who believes that God fits Enthron'd in the East, like a grave Old King, I profess I would bow and crings as well as any Ecclesiastical Limber-ham of them all; and pay my Adoration to that one Point of the Compass, the East; but if Men believe that the Holy one that Inhabits Eternity, is also Omnipresent, and in every place, why do they no [...] make Correspondent Ceremonies of Adoration to every Point of the Compass?
But I recant my Folly for asking a Ceremony-Monger an honest reason of his Cringes, who never (hitherto) could vouch his Supple him. Worship to the Altar, to the East, &c. except (as aforesaid) in Adoration of Mammon his God.
But I'll be Positive, and Dogmatical in nothing of this Nature; I'll forswear nothing but building of Churches, after I have first pull'd them down; as one did (a certain Chappel) in the memory of Man, because the Chancel stood East and by Nore a little sideling, whereas it should have stood better, dut East, that (with one Cringe) he might how to the Altar, and the East also; he was the wiser, for so he kills two Birds with one Stone; and one single bow (by this laborious Regulation) will serve to the Altar, and the East also; so to case his unweildly body, he punishes his Purse by Eccle [...]astical Policy, (called) Commutation; O the Wit of an Ecclesiastical Politician! But Fortuna favet fat—Fortune favours [...]t falks; a poor man might have been beggar'd by such a venture, but the old D [...]tard (Mr. Superstitions Noddy was his Name,) made Stairs of the Chappel-Stones, and so got up to the Top of Pauls, But let the Ceremony monger by his [...]ppery grow never so great, he is paid in his own Coin, for in requital, his only Adorers are Women and [Page 14]Fops; or such as love any thing that is great, only because it is great: May they not by the same reason adore an Asses Head, with Flapping Luggs, for they also are great, very great.
Thus the Hog [...]n-Dutchman got Money, being carried about from Fair to Fair, amongst the [...]ops that admir'd his Brawny-Buik, the result of B [...]con and the Butter-Box.
The greatest Ingenuity of my Ceremony monger, is, that of an Ape, (viz.) Imitation or Mimickry) for the Monky has indeed something of the V [...]a [...]e and Resemblance of a Man, (and so has the Ceremony-mo [...]ger's worship the Face of Religion and Devotion) but bo [...]h of them wants Reason, and therefore the more abominable, and of all Brutes, most o [...]lous to radonal Men:
But such is the force of Mimickry amongst Fops, that it is far more easie to make a cringing dancing Ass, than a dancing Horie in our Academy; but the Mischief is, there is so many of them, they are not a R [...]e-Show; they are so common, that it will not quit cost to carry them about, and show them at Sturbridge-Hair, or Bartholomew Fair.
Come, Friends! You shall see one of the Youngsters (the Foal of a cringing Ass,) for nothing.
Come to your Postures, Lad! Hold up thy Head, and in thy Chin, thy Breast out, and thy Belly in: Now, your Reverences; —well done; face about again, down. I say, close down—to the hast, to the Altar, &c. well done; there's hopes in thee, thou may'st come to be a tall Man in the Church, in time, if this Trade do but hold.
For my Ceremony monger is an Ecclesiastical Thomas Anello (or corruptly and vulgarly) Masanello, a despicable Tool to look on, take him out of his Robes, as filly a Fisher as heart can wish; and yet he may grow great by as trivial Occasions, the scrambling for a little rotten Ware (Nuts and Apples) in Midsummer Moons, when the People run mad and are oppress'd.
But the worst is, This Beast of the People is soon abus'd, and soon disabus'd, and is seldom long and quietly (in England) bestrid (I will not say Priest-ridden) by Fops; they are apt as suddenly to play as Jade's T [...]k; and after they have Huzz [...]'d loud Hosanna's one day, soon after ready enough upon a contrary Provocation, to cry, Crucifi [...]ite, Crucifigite.
Yet the Fool Masanello trusted to the unsteady Populace (which made him insolent and insufferable, Proud and morose) till the same Mouths that cry'd him up, soon after were ready to eat him; dragging at a Horses Tall, whom ten days before, they cry'd up to the Skies; they would have done the same to a Broom-staff, if it could but have stood them in stead, or could help to withstand the Gabels and Oppression; but the Fool thought that the people ador'd his (own) worth, which made the Fool insufferably petulant, and was his Ruine.
Yet (after all) now that I better bethink my self, and that seven years ago (in my Black Nonconformist) I did (in vain) wa [...]h this Aethiope, I'll even compound the Business with my Ceremony monger.
And because he has been many times a topping Ecclehastical Fellow, Proun and Stomachfull, Uncontrouiable and Wilful, right or wrong, he will l [...]ve his Will, his Suring, and his way, (let who will stand in his Way,) therefore since he says, he will still bow like a Fop to nothing (for he dare not say the Wafer is there hid (slyly) under the Carpet, nor yet that God is more there than every where; yet) I'll grant him a License upon two Conditions.
First, That he never shake his empty Noddle at the Altar, but when it is cover'd with a Cap (a Sottin Cap to chuse) the more decently to hide the soft place in his Head.
Secondly, That also then he hide the Popish Face of Adoration, by putting on a Protestant Vizor Masque, not only that his blushes be not visible, (a Braz [...]n Face may do that) but to cover the Popish Physiognomy, le [...] the undiscerning and superficial Judgments of the rude Vulgar, spy it and nothing else; (for they search not the [...] side) and consequently handle him, as if he really were a popish Priest: his Cope, his Hood, his Surplice, his Cringing Worship, his Altar with Candles on it, (most Nonsensically unlighted too) his Bag [...]pipes o Organs, and in some places Viols & Viollos, singing Men, and singing B [...]s, & are all so very like Popery, (and all but the Vestments illegal) that I protest when I came in 1660. first from beyond Sea to Pauls, and White Hall, I could scarce think my self to be in England, but in Spain or Portugal again, I saw so little Difference, but that their Service was in Latine, and ours in English; but less intelligeable and less Edifying, (for one half thereof) than Latine, by reason of the I [...]articulate Boatus and Braylog, whilst all the People read half the Psalms, with a N [...]se as confused, as the Rumbling Thunder (as I will prove more particularly by and by) that any man in the World that had seen High Mass beyond Sea, must say, That the contrivance of both was to keep people in Ignorance, the Mother of Devotion. Faith comes by Hearing, (saith the Scripture) but the Papist and Ceremony monger, make as though it comes by Seeing, they are all for a Show, a vain show. And shall not those that sin before all, be rebuk'd before all? That all may learn, and all may be comforted?
But may some say to me perhaps, That I talk very boldly; why, do I? And do you th [...]k in your Conscience, that they do not sin more boldly.
There is a sinful Bishfulness (in being loth to reprove) as well as an Impudent Sin [...]e, and a Whores forehead: And shall a B [...] Ceremony monger dare to transgress the Laws of God and Man, and Right and Reason; And is there not a man (amongst us all) that has Courage enough to antique him?
Let him Huff like a blasphemous Goliah, I fear him not; (if I were young and in my Prime (much less now, when there are so few Sands in the Hour glass of my Life yet to run out, by the Course of Nature; the greatest Wrath can precipitate but a few minutes; dye we must, and [Page 16]can any man dye or suffer in a better Quarrel, than in vindicating the Laws of God and the King, in spight of the Pope in Italy, or any other in his likeness.
CHAP. II. Of Implicite Faith.
THat man has neither Worth nor Honour in him, that does not truly love and honour a Person of Honour, and true Vertue and Worth; and so much the more, for the Grandeur; but to idolize a mee, Image, because a great and golden Image, and because (Neouchadne [...] Zar) the King set it up, what is it out Popery. Idolatry, or Flactery or Poppery? I know not how to absolve the Princes, in Dan. 3.3 the Governours, the Judges, the Treasurers, the Counsellors, (wise Fellows!) [...]nd the She [...]iffs, When they ador'd the Golden Image, which Nebuchadnezzar the King had set up, though I confess being sixty Cublts high, as high as the top of the Steeple, it made a great Figure in the World.
And what can my Ceremony-Monger say more for himself, than that great golden Image? Both of them have a great Face and Bulk, but want [...] for their standing, and are dumb and blind.
For my ceremony Monger in the Church (I am in good earnest and in sober sa [...]ness, telling a woful Truth, which has almost ruin'd our Church) does almost all his great Acts in the Church (like the Papists) by blind Devotion and implicite Faith.
Is there any to be admitted into the Sacred Function of Priesthood? (who ought to be apt and fit for so great, so Holy, and so Divine an Office; otherwise. The contempt of the Clergy, and a Contemptible Clergy, is the necessary and sad Consequence) yet this is hudled up by Implicite Faith in M [...]. Archdeacon, or some casic Deputy or Surrogate; The Bishop that Ordains is not obliged to know any thing of the matter; but goes upon Trust for all, in that great Work of Ordination, as you may see in the words of Ordination in the Common-Prayer Book? all is done (I said before) by Implicite Faith, as the Papists call it; but this more silly than Popery; for it is more rational to believe as the Church believes, than to believe as a silly Surrogate believes.
Is there a man to be thrown out of the Church? This is done by Implicite Faith too, in an casie Surrogate and Sell Soul R [...]gister, that perhaps has not paid the last payment for his place, and Money must be had; whereas the Bishop that signifies it, knows nothing of the Matter, nor of the Proceedings or Proof; but by Implicite Faith in the Registers Certificavit, [...]s aforesaid; and then the Judges grant a Capias by Implicite Faith too in his hand, that knows nothing of the Matter, (neither) of his own knowledge.
Is not here fine doings the while, in the greatest of Church Works? The out and in, The in and out is all by an Implicite Faith, more irrational than that of the Papists.
Nay, the poor Parson of the Parish must neither will nor Choose, but must, in pain of the Law, Excommunicate, and deliver to Satan any bedy, that the Registers Hand and Seal marks out with an Anathema by meer Implicite Faith in Pope-Sell-Soul (the Register.) So when the Devil [Page 17]and the Jaylor has worried him and tortured him (as they do suspected Witches) ('till they confess) and he be willing to say or do any thing to get out of the Tormentor's Clutches, and the Excommunicated Person humble enough to open his Purse to Mr. Register; poor Parson must absolve him again, by the old and Implicite Faith in the Register.
In Confirmation too, all's done by Implicite Faith in the Parish-Priest; nay, usually not so well, but hand over head to all that kneels for it, though some of them to my knowledge, were never Baptized, nor can yet say the Creed so well as it is possible to teach a Parrot; nor understanding one Article thereof much better than a Parrot: Here's sine doings! And a rare Consti [...]ution to sight for, Tooth and Nalt, Swear and Forswear, by a blind Devotion and Implicite Faith, and scarce a man knows wherefore; But no Kettles make so great a Sound and Noise, as those that are empty.
But when men go out of God's Way, the further and faster they go, the further and faster they go astray.
The very Disciples of Christ (as well as Popish Priests and Cardinals) sell to Justling one another (even in the presence) for the place, the chief and uppermost; but our Lord told them, they behaved themselves more like worldly Princes than his Disciples; saying, It shall not be so amongst you.
Pride says, It shall be so; but will my Ceremony Monger on his Deathbed, and at the tremendous Judgement Seat, say so, as he does now; In spight of Christ and his Word? I am your humble Servant, says the Pope; nay, your Servants Servant, Servus Servorum, yet Lucifer himself is not prouder.
Dear Brother, says a Popish Bishop, in his Style to the rest of the Presbyters, when at the same time he makes no more of them than a meer Pavement, in State to walk upon and trample; money too, the poorest Priest must give his Highness, though the Family at home want Bread: Nay, the poor Sheep must not bleat neither, but though clipt twice a year, like Sheep before Shearers, they must be dumb; so open they not the Mouth; yet I told the Outlandish Bishops seven years ago, of this unconscionable Avarice to as little purpose, in my [...]aked Truth, saying, I have read that Pharaoh's Lean Kine eat up the Fat ones, but for the Fat to eat up the Lean, 'tis most unconscionable; have a care of Bare-bones, lest they stick in your Throat, or in your—'what shall I call thee?, Ecclesiastical Greedy-gut! you'll never leave your Gormandizing, 'till you surfeit, I fear.
This is the true Reason of Implicite Faith in Italy, and England; Bishops gape more than they can swallow; in spight of that terrible Thunder—Their Blood will I require at the Watchman's hand—They have Charge upon them, that no flesh alive can discharge; Bishops and Cu [...]ates, says the Common-Prayer, implying that we of the small Fry, are only Journey-men or Curates to the Bishops; well, with all my heart, the greater Charge lies heavy on his Soul.
No, (he may say) though I cannot be here and there too, yet I have Journey-men every where; I must by Implicite Faith believe my Journeyman, my Proctor, my Surrogate and my Register, but in requital, they also by Implicite Faith believe me.
Is not here rare doings? And all this Inconveniencie came at first only by Avarice and Arabition, which a whole Dincess and sometimes a D [...]ancry, and a rich Commundum added thereunto, could not glut; well, that's as to the Wages, if they were twice as big, one Man can make a shift to swallow, yea, but as for the Work, it is impossible to superintend, or Episcopiz [...], with one pale of eyes; then come (first) into the Church, implicite Faith in their Journey-Men, and of all Journey-Men, che [...]fly, the Arch-Deacon's called Oculi Episcoporum; there are but five Pair of such great Implicite Eyes in our D [...]ocess; and if they could see without spectacles, they would be the better Eves, I think: But the Prospect is too far, all over the Diocess for one Bishop to see or superintend; But who made that Prospect so large? Pa [...]ecia, a Parish, by our antient Canons, signifies a Diocess, and a [...] was no larger than a Parish, ' [...]ill Popish Avarice, and boundless Ambition taught Pluralities.
A good Bishop, if he keep in his Bounds, as the King's Commissioner (not sancying that he has or can have any New Spiritual Character, or greater Spiritual Character than of a Presbyter as appears by the Words of Ordination of both of them) the same, the very same, in all Essential Points; only the King's Mandate or Commission, gives him an Ecclesiastical Character more than he had, and a Temporal Character by making him a Baron of the Realm, with Lands and Honours annex [...]; and not one jot too much, if he make good use thereof, in Hospitallty, Charity, and somewhat too as an Umbrage against Contempt; the Wages are well enough bestowed if he be fit for the place, pions, prudent and learned; and he has as lawfull a Claim and Title to them, from his Predecessors, as other Lords or Corporations; and cannot without great Injustice, as well as dangerous President, be bereaved of them; who but a Fool will go about to remove Groundsells and Fundamental Constitutions?
But his Work is so great, and the necessary Qualifications so eminent and Extraordinary, that no one man is fit for so great a Charge; and those that are fitt [...]st, will scarcely accept it, the Temporal Honours and Rewards are no Temptation to them.
For a Bishop ought not to ordain any, 'till he has first by his own Examination and Knowledge, found their fitness for so great and holy a Work: Not trusting by Implicite Faith to Mr. Arch-Deacon, nor Mr. Deacon's Deputy.
And how can he with a safe Conscience, deliver a soul to the devil by an Anathema, when he knows nothing of the Nature of the Crime nor Prool? except by blind devotion or Implicite Faith in the Register and Surrogate, Mr. Necessity? so Men call him, Because he has no Law.
So that the grand Distempers of our Church, do all proceed from this Original Sin, radical in our Constitution; and no Art of Man can cure it, or save us from a Contemptible Clergy, and more despicable (as well as prophane) Discipline, but by applying Remedies to the very Constitution, which is neither incurable, nor hard to cure, if wise and willing Physitians do but use their skill.
When Boy-Popes and Boy-Bishops, or ignorant and unlearned Bishops by favour, Money or Friends, were advanc'd; they neither durst attempt [Page 19]to Examine a Scholar's fin [...]ess for the holy function, nor could do it, without betraying their own unfitness and ignorance; which begot Arch-Deacons, they served for Eyes to the blind, and at general Councils, usually for Mouths and Tongues, and Brains too: The Dotage of Bishop Alexander, brought Arch-Deacon Achanasius into the first Council of Nice, which brought him into Request, and when the old Mandled, into the Bishoprick also of Alexandria.
But above all the Implicite Faith-Men, I ever read, have my Commendations remembred to the Pope, in the words of Cardinal Bellarmine, lib. 4 de Romano Pontifice, cap. 5. Si papa erraret praecipiendo vitia, vel prohibendo virtutes, teneretur Ecclesia [...]redere vitia esse bona. & virtutes malas, nisi vellet cont [...]à Conscientiam peccaere: If the Pope err ( [...]hat's a buil [...] too, good Cardinal, as wise as you are) by Commanding Vice and prohibiting Virtue, yet the Church is bound to believe, That Vice is good, and Virtue evil; except the Church sin wilfully and against Conscience.
Even so; if a Bishop by Implicit Faith and Error O [...]d [...]in a vitious, or ignorant Person a Priest, or Bishop, and Madam Portsmouth, or Father Peter, help him to a Presentation or Mandate, (every thing may be done that has been done) or should Silence a vermous Preacher, yet the Parish or Diocess must, (I say) must accept him for their Spiritual Shepherd, Guide and Watchman; though he be never so blind a Guide, never so wolvish or cruel a Shepherd, never so dull and drowzy a Watchman or Reading-Don; or Copy-holding Plagiary; except they will be willful sinners; though he starve their Souls, they must feed him with the Tythesheaf, and the Tythe-pig.
He's not fit to be cail'd to the Bar, that can but just read his Breviat, though he tell the Judge he has notable Books in his Study, that argue the Case, and state it notably, but he carries them not about, never in his head.
Nor is he fit to be a Fellow in the Colledge of Physidans, because Galen and Hypocrates lies moulding in his Study, nor is he fit to be free of the Pulpit, that if his Sermon Book fall down out of his hand, must also come down as wise (a man) as when he went up; l [...] the Curtain fall down too, and the Play's at an end; good night, Parson.
But all Preachers have no: Memory nor Elocution and presence of Mind: No, no: But then, there's a good Thrasher, or a good Cobler spoyl'd, to make a bad Patson, a poor Transcriber, and dull Translator, whose Character next follows.
CHAP. III. Of the Reading-Dons of the Pulpit.
THis Ecclesiastical Sophister, is a true Son of the Church of England, (that ever was) and devoted to her Service, (as in Duty bound) for she gave him freely all the Devotion he has, namely, the Common-Prayer-Book and the Homilies: which are very good things to all, but to him a God, (a Creator) by which as a Church-man (though as lean and cadaverous as a Church-Mouse,) he lives and moves, and has his being.
But as true a Son of the Church as he is, yet he is a Bastard Divine, but made a Denizon Ecclesiastick, and free of the Church by the King, and (notwithstanding his spurious Original) Legitimated and made capable of Succession in Church-Lands, Honours and Dignities, by Act of Parliament. viz. the Act of Uniformity In England; In England, (I say) for in the whole Protestant World, That Act has no Paralel, nor this fellow (I characteriz:) any Fellow in the whole Christian World, but such as himself; he is a None such all the World over, in all Churches, except what he calls, (and he may well speak well of her) the most Incomparable Church of England; not only the Protestants all the world over, but the very Papists, nay, the very Stage-players would kick him out, the very Boys and Wenches there, nay, School-Boys, must say their Parts better, or they are sure to be whip'd for't.
Nay, the Stage Players would have no Customers (except they could get Penal Laws, and a Constable, A Jaylor and Apparitor, to drive them by Shoales to the Play House) if they should admit any such dull Tools and Actors, that could not say a Word without Book; but must read every Word they say, or else they are dumb: For, take away the Play-Book, or No [...]es, and they are mute as Fish; the Play is at an end, though you have paid your Money. (some small note indeed) or prompter the best may need sometimes, or some Breviate:) even so my Reading Don Ecclesiastical is a noteless Fellow without his Notes, and worse than an Ass (for he can Bray without book) nay, worse than a Peacok; for he can yawl against Rain) but this Gay Fowl has nothing that speaks him divine, but his gay out [...].
The Propher Eztkiel calls him Dumb-Dog that cannot bark; meaning not that these Dumb Prophets or Dumb-dogs had no Tongue, and could make no barking Noise; but when he seeth the Sword or a Thief coming he giveth no warning, but being senceless and noteless, is therefore a dumb dog.
For he (poor Heart!) has his Lesion before him, there is his stint, like a Horse in a Mill; he cannot go out of the Track, if he does, he must leav [...] work: if the Notes drop out of the Pulpit, or the Candles go out, or the Spectacles fall down from his Nose, or a dark day, or any such woful disaster befal him, his busi [...]eis is done, he needs no Bishop to silence him; Come, Sir, you may (even) come down, out of the Pulpit, The Play is done.
N [...]y, his very Prayers to Alrighty God in the Pulpit, he is glad to read them too, except perhaps he has (like a Pariot) got a few words by [...]ote, which all the people of the Church can say as well as himself; for like a Turn-spit Dog in a Wheel, he keeps ado, but makes no Progress.
For (alas! for Shame and Sorrow!) how should he speak to God, who is a Spirit, From his Heart or Spirit; or to the People's Hearts, that never had any Divinity in his Head or Heart: It is sufficient that he has It in the Book of Homilles, or in his Notes (stylo novo) of another Sermon book that is more in Yogue and [...], because more adapted to our present Language and Age [...]
Stole! said I, he'll bring his Action against me, of Scandalum magnatum perhaps; but I'll prevent him, for I recant.
He did not steal his Sermon, nor Sermon Notes, for they were his own upon a double account; First, because he lawfully bought and paid for the [...], six pence a piece; witness, the Book seller: Secondly, because all the Sermons in Print are dedicated to him: To the Reader—All—To the Reader, & sometimes, to Coaks him out of six pence. To the curteous Reader.
If Parents have a Ricketty Son, and crook'd legg'd, and Baker-knee'd; he'll serve to make a Parson, his Cassock will hide his Legs: Is the poor Child Pur-blind also? He'll serve to make a Parson say his Parents, If he have but Eye enough to spy Advent Sunday, the day of the Month, and the first and second Lessons for the day. Is he a half witted Lad? He'll serve poor Child, say his Parents, well enough for the Pulpi [...], if he but hold his Notes to his Pur-blind Eyes, it is but holding them the Closer, and the bunness is done; especially if his Parents or Friends scrape Acquaintance with a Patron, I know how, or buy [...] Advousion or the next Avoydance.
And then make room for the Parson, a true Son of the Church: Why do you smlle? It is too serious, too great, and too dismal a Truth and Mischief, to draw Tears from your Eyes by laughing; you have more cause to be weeping Jeremies, and make Lamentations at so mischievous a Constitution of a Church, in making Watchmen that are blind and lame, and dumb, being ordained unto Holy Orders by blind Implicite Faith: which we all condemn in the Papists, but in the Church of England draw a new Scene: and it is received with Applause: Oh poor English! A foolish people and unwise, though the most Courageable and best Hearts, as well as the most plain hearted Nation under Heaven.
You think (now) that this is a Romance, and not literally true; well then, so let it go; 'Tis so much the fitter for this Character of a Ceremony-monger, which is all a Romance.
A Romance! What's that? It comes from Roma, Rome, the Ground and Platform of the truest and best Histories of Truth; and the Scene of the greatest Acts the Sun ever saw.
And a Romance is as like a true Roman History, as my Ceremony-Monger is like a Papist, he is not a Papist, (he says) no, he is not a bare-sac'd Papist, I'll do him right; but to see to, he is as like a Papist as ever he can look, and his Devotion as like Popery as ever it can look: He does not say the Mass indeed in Latine; but his Hood, his Cope, his Surplice, his Rocker, his Altar Rall'd in, his Candles, and Cushions, and Book thereon, his bowing to it, his bowing or rather Nodding at the name Jesu, his Organs, his Violins, his Singing Men, his Singing-Boys, with their Alternate Jabbering and Mouthings, (as Unintelligible as Latine-Service) and so very like Popery that I profess (when I came from beyond Sea, about the year 1660. to Pauls and White-Hall) I almost thought, at first blush, that I was, still, in Spain or Portugal; only the Candles on our Altars, most Nonsensically, stand unlighted, to signifie, what? The darkness of our Noddles, or to tempt the Chandlers to turo, down-right, Papists, as the more suitable Religion for their Trade: for ours mocks them, seeds them with Hopes only, he gapes and stares to see the lucky Minute when the Candics [Page 22]should be lighted, but he is cheated, for they do not burn out in an Age.
But the Foppery is Homogeneal, all of a piece, foolish and illegal Ceremonies all over, only my Ceremony-monger has got Law of his side for his Surplice, and his Common-Prayers, which are both very good things, and though perhaps he may be perswaded to part with the former, if you take away the latter, viz. the Common-Prayer-Book, ye had is good cut out his Tongue; nay, even few up his Mou [...]h also; for he has no occasion, for it, nor for his Teeth neither, for his Body most starys, and be as clean and jejune as his Soul: Therefore, as you love his Life and Soul let him have his Common-prayer Book, or else his Curate will have nothing in the World to do, but must be forc'd to turn Sexton; why should not the Dead bury the Dead? The dead in Sin, bury the Dead for Sin, to so liseless and spiritless a thing is Religion reduc'd by my Ceromony-Monger; nay, some of them in their pretended prayer before Sermon, do mock both God, and the people, praying, or pretending to pray as the mouth of the people in the pulpit and yet (like good Hannah's private prayer) their Lips only move, but their Voice is not heard.
Old Eli thought the good Woman was Drunk or a Fool, to talk to her self; but she designed only private prayer.
But certainly the Master of the Ceremonies, is either a Fop, or a Mad-man, or else takes all the People for a Fop of his own making, to have only a handsome gaze at the person, whilst he Acts his Mammery in the pulpit.
Why does the pulpit stand alost? But that the preacher should lift his Voice like a Trumpet, that all the Church may hear, or else what does he do there? The papists indeed do vindicate pictures in Churches, as being the Lay-man's History, though he know not a Letter in the Book, his Eyes may read by seeing a picture; and thus my Ceremony-monger brings up his Fops in Ignorance, and Ignorant Devotion; they know nothing of the matter, and cannot say Amen, to they do not know what; It is no matter for that, for (just like popish Mass, called Secreta, which the priest mumbles to himself, so our Foppish Ceremony-monger that must be like a popish pri [...]st, or else perhaps he had never come to so high a pulpit, and place in the Church, he must mumble too his prayers, though in pulpit, to himself, because 'tis just as the popish priests do, that make as if the people need not pray, nor believe; the priest prays for them, and believes for them; keep them blind, says the priest, and then you may lead them by the Nose, which way you please; O poor English Fops! To be fopt by an Old Fop, that is as much or more an Hypocritical Knave than a Fool.
And I am the more apt to believe it now, because the mumbling Hypocrites, never mumbled so much, and so long in the pulpit-prayer before Sermon, as now a days in this Juncture and Revolution in the Kingdom, and change in the Throne; to pray for the Abdicated King, would be to own him and Popery with his Mouth, but he dare not do that, they have only his heart at present.
And to pray for their Sacred Majestle's, our Soveraign Lord and Lady, King William and Queen Mary, they are such Strangers to his Heart, that [Page]he chuses rather not to pray at all, in his own prayer before Sermon; or not at all to be heard, till such time, as it may be guess'd, he had done it to himself, talking (as they say Witches do) to himself in the Pulpit; most prophanely mocking God and the People, by pretending to speak, when he only mumbles with his Lips; for if his Voice be heard, the crafty Hypocrite thinks that some Body will tell (because the Tongue tells) who he is for: Where as now the Fox lies learing and lurching, to see which King will get the better, and then, (and not till then) he will declare himself, and in the Interim, his Ambo-dexter reserves himself; for he is true to no Interest, nor to any Religion, but that which most tends to the Advancement of his only God, Mammon, and his Curate only runs the Risque, in praying for King William, and Queen Mary.
In short, (for I am quite tired and sick of him) his Church-Work is just like his Church-Clock, moved extraneously, by outward Weights, Wheels, Springs or Plummets, but has no inward or spiritual Life or Motion; such is his prayers, such his Sermons, (though he have a Budgetfull) Dead, Dull, spiritless, lifeless, frigid, and perfunctory Devotion; he never converts any Man, except to silly Ceremonses, Because himself is not converted to any thing; else his Words die before they reach the Heart of his Hearers, for how can they well come to the Heart of his Auditors, when they never came in, nor from his own Head nor Heart; he is the great Stock-Logg of the Church, that has neither Fire nor heat within, the little he has, is all out-side, superficial, and without; it takes up a great deal of Rome indeed, but 'tis good for nothing in the World, but the dung-hil; he is that Salt that has quite lost it's Savour, if over he had any, and good for nothing, but to be troden under Foot of Men; and relish'd by none but such as have lost their Taste, or never had any.
I'll tell you how you may be quit of this Ecclesiastical Copy-holder; all his Tenure and Title to the Pulplt is Copy-hold, get but his Notes, or his Copies from him, and the Pulpit will not hold him, he must come down and hire a Journey Man of more Skill, if any such can be had, for Money, so to debase himself to be Surrogate to a rich Fop, that with his silk Cassock, and Scarlet Hood runs away with the Galm, whilst poor Thred-bare Crape takes all the pains.
Yet, even these are scarce to be had for Love or Money; for the Ceremony-monger has so polluted the Fountain of Learning the Universities, that where shall a man sooner meet with noysie Impudence, and gingling Nonsence, (a sounding Brass, and rinckling Cymbal) than in the two great St. Maries Pulpits in the Universitiis?
So that if God be not the more merciful, and Their Sacred Majesties the more careful of their Academies, the generality of the Clergy must be like the Scribes and Pharisees, in our Saviour's time, painted Sepulchres, Gay without, fine Ornaments without, but within, nothing but Rottenness and dead Men's Boues.
Just as we were in the Church of England (I remember) fifty years ago, in the Reign of that great Master of Ceremonies, little Doctor Laud, that did so discountenance lively and edifying Sermons, or almost any Sermons, that a Man must have travell'd for it, and far too, if he heard any [Page]thing but the Common prayer and Organs, above four times in a Year. Indeed, now there is to many Sermons in Print, that we have plenty in the Pulpit, though generally such discrepant, Heterogeneous, and Immethodical Stuff, as being compos'd of several printed Sermons, a patch here, and a patch there describ'd, that they are like a Beggars Coat, or a Tallor's Cloak bag, made up of party-colour'd Lists and Parches, they are so dis-compos'd by the Plagiary, in wise Prudence, like a Thief that takes By-Roads, for fear of being known, pursued, sound out, and taken by the Hue and Cry.
Therefore this Plagiary Reader, conscious of Guilt, disguises all discovery, if possible, like the crafty Hare that makes false Steps and Doubles in the Snow, when she is near her form, for fear of being track'd by her Steps, and Trac'd.
Thus this Chattering Jay has nothing good about him, but the Gay Feathers, his Carcase is worth nothing but to Dung the Land; so that the Church, you see, can breed Vermine as well as the Barn.
CHAP. IV. Of Reading of the Psalms, Te Deum, Althanasius's Creed, &c. Alternately, every other Verse, by the People.
THis is such another Nonsensical Ceremony, that it is Point-blank against Holy Scripture, as well as against Reason and edification; and neither Canon of the Church, nor Rubrick, or Rule in the Common-Prayer Book, to vouch it, and punishable therefore, by the Act of Uniformity.
If so, then where is the Brains, you'l say, of all our Ceremony-Mongers? Where do you say? They are there where they always were, but never Consulted in any of these Illegal and silly Ceremonies, further then, whether they are like Popish Ceremonies? That's the Test, that's the Testimonial! that first gave them Entrance into a Protestant Church; and the Papists finely laugh at us, and deride us, for being their Apes as I have heard the Popish Friers beyond Sea Jear at us for the Mimickry grave English Noddles, that have no other Reason not Religion for what they do, but that they are the Pope's Baboons, in spight of Holy Scripture, Right Reason, true Religion, and the Laws of the Kingdom.
This confused Noise of the People, is not Articulate, but an un-intelligible and brutish Braying, one Man's Voice drowns the Accent and Articulation of another, and therefore is no more Intelligible than the Latine Mass, and I suppose that the best Reason that can be given for it, is, that it keeps the people ignorant, if they cannot read, of at least one half of the Psalms.
The next step may be, if this be suffered, that the people shall read one half of the Chapters two; and then though the vulgar cannot kept together from hearing the Scripture, they shall be debarr'd one half; in time, we may go further, we are just in the Popish Road, that debars the vulgar from the whole Scriptures.
Read but the 1 Cor. 14.11.23, 26.31, 33. And if you fear God, you will never do so any more; Latin Prayers, or Prayers in an unknown Tongue, or an unintelligible Tongue also, are Prophesies or Preachments in [Page]an untelligible Tongue, by the Confusion of which, God is not the Author but the Devil, and the Pope invented these Contusions, by them to beget, the Mother of Popish and Ceremony Mongers Devotion, Ignorance. For saith St. Paul, in that 1 Cor. 14.11. If I know not the Voice, I shall be unto him that speaketh a Barbarian, and he that speaketh shall be a Barbarian unto me.
Here is a plain Scripture against this confused Noise, no man can know the meaning of a Voice that is not Articulate; But what cares a Ceremony. Monger for Scripture? Give him his God, give him his Mammon, give him his popish Mimickry; but whilst he makes himself a popish Ape, he makes dull Englishmen both Apes and Asses.
All the Reason that ever any of them can give for this profane Folly, is, that the Singing boys do it, and the great Heads do it, and therefore, the silly people, like the Papists say, must not we believe and practice as the Church believes and practises? meaning, by the Church, the Clergy, the rich, the great, and the gay Clergy.
And if this must be a Reason, why may we not as well believe and practise, as doth the [...]ope of Rome, as well any old Innocent here at home.
We talk of h [...]ting Popery in Italy, we do well; but not a j [...] better for us, if we follow the same Implicit Faith in England, that the Italians do in Rome.
Thus the Prophets prophesie falsly, and the Priests bear Rule by their means; and my people love to have it so, and what will ye do in the end thereof?
Let all things be done to edifying, (saith the Apostle) and ye may all Prophesie, or read, for if Reading be not Preaching or Prophesing, we have abundance of dumb Prophets, if it be not a Bull, in England, 1 Cor. 14.31. Ye may all Prophesie, read or preach, one by one, that all may Learn, and all may be comforted; Implying evidently, that there can be no Learning, no comfort, no Edification in our confused and banling Superfuelon; which is just like the Gossips Chat, where all Tongues wag, and all are Preachers, and no Hearers.
Since therefore, God is not the Author of this Confusion, neither Law, Canon, Edification, Rubrick, Reason, Act of Uniformity, Religion, nor Scripture to [...]ouch it, but point blank against all these, tell me how it came here, except from the Devil and the Pope? Short Ejaculations, as Amen, Lord, have Mercy, or repeating after the Articulat Voice of the Minister, falls not under this Censure.
But, I wonder who taught the Women, whose chiefest Beauty is modest Silence, who taught them to prate in the Church? They are so full of Tongue, you'l say, that perhaps a little teaching would serve.
I never suffered such a confused babling in my Church of All-Saints, Let them play the fools, and popish Apishness, some where else, I never would permit them, at which abundance of people took Snuff, and because they might not be superstitious Apes, they would not come there at all: a good riddance of them; they left the Room to their betters; for we want nothing there so much as Room.
Is there not some fear, least we all be beg'd? Beg'd? For what? for [Page 26]wise men? No; but to replenish the Colledge of Gotham; we are topping Fellows, if the Pinacles of the Temple stand in view; which is the way thither?
Are we not all as silly as that Cardinal, who says, Sit ergo Dominus noster papa baculus in aq [...]d fr [...]ctus, absit tamen ut crederem quod viderim: Let our Lord the pop [...]b a Staff, partly in the water, seeming crooked, yet God forbid that I should believe mine own eyes. Like Cardinal Bellarmin, who makes Ignorance, not Understanding, the Ground of Faith: Intending surely, that none out Coxcombs, priest-ridden should be of the Church.
This Ceremony monger carries one infallible Mark about him, you may know him from a thousand, for he sets such a Value and price upon his Illegal Trinkets and Ceremonies, that if you take them, or offer to take them from him, he cryes out, and roars like mad Micah; Ye have taken away my gods which I made, and the Priests, and ye are gone away, and what have I more? And what is this that ye say unto me, what aileth thee? Would it not make a man bellow and cry, to lose the Diana's, by which he got his Wealth, and on which [...]o chiefly volues himself, because it made him a man of value: and those that are his Favourites, on whom he puts the greatest Value, That Trinket after him, in a blind, implicite, slavish Mimickry and Imitation; He that calls for a Reason, he is not a man for his turn, but sawcy, troublesome and petulant: Thus the blind lead the blind, have a care of the ditch there, just before you; you had better take warning than tumble in.
But, I fear, lapidi loquor, I wash a Black Moor, I doubt, yet I know no harm I do, if I do him no no good, if the Leopard will keep his Spots, I did not make them; he is Bedlam mad surely, why dost thou strike so furiously? I would but unshakle thee, and set thee free; or make thee set thy self free, by representing thy self to thy self.
For I'll assure thee, that in City and Countrey, good Master of the Ceremonies! thou hast not amongst rational men more Beholders than Abhorrers.
Surely, thy Ascendant or Lord of the first House, was wonderfully culminant and strong, or else it is imposible that Irregularity and Folly could ever have been so notourly signified; If I can erect thy Scheme, I do prognosticat thou art in thy Detriment. Fall and Azimuth.
I confess, that amongst Dancing masters, Rop-dancers, Spanials and Monkeyes; he is the fairest Candidate for a Reward or Crust, that cringes, comes over, and bends the most nimbly; but that men by Illegal and Irrational Capricio's should cherish their hopes, so, to become Favourites in the Church, I do not understand it; if I were as supple as the best.
I can only say, as Cicero in his Declamation against Cataline, Vivunt? imó vivunt & in senatum veniunt; Oh tempora! Oh mores! It was a sad time, when Father Peter, or Madam Portsmouth chose Senators: and that a poor Lad should find it out, that the readiest Road, to get into the Church, or to the Steeple, and Pinacle, is to be like a young Setting-dog, that first learns to stoop, when he is bidden, to nothing; there's hopes of him, he's coming on, and may be a right Setting-dog in time, and stoop to something.
CHAP. V. Of Bowing at the Name of Jesu.
THere is but one of these said Irregular and Illegal and Irrational Ceremonies afore-mentioned, that have any colour of Law, and that is the Canon for bowing at the Name Jesu; but that Canon is nail'd by Scripture and Reason, as well as by the Act of Uniformity, which enacts great Penalties, even Deprivation, if any Ceremony monger obstinately persist in the Practise of any Ceremonies, except those alone that are contained in the Common-Prayer-Bock; of which that same of bowing at the Name of Joshua or Jesu; and all their other Bowings and Cringes to the Altar, to the East, are none at all; I protest, I wonder at the Ceremony mongers Audacity and Fool-hardness, that he still dare to do it, in defiance of the Law, Reason and Scripture; except he think to set the Convocation-House over and above, and on the Top of the Parliament-House, where it will stand most Totteringly, and subject to the Storms.
Let no man therefore think this Discourse to be bold, or over-hold, having the Law of God and Man, Holy Scriptures, and right Reason on my side, and can therefore with such great Advantages baffle them all, wonder rather at my incorrigible Ceremony-monger, that will take no warning till he be forc'd publickly to recant the Schisms and Mischiefs his Noddle has forc'd in the Church of God.
The strength of his Mai-Guards, like that of Hell and Popery, lies all in stopping the several Avenues of Light, that none may enter into the Kingdom of Darkness, for they hate the Light, because their Deeds are Evil, and therefore would, if they could, keep the Keys of the Press doors, as well as the Pulpit doors, that no glimmering may appear without License. Thus the Devil Rages the more, because his time is short, and Frets and Fumes when you discover his Cloven-Foot, especially when he has long been ador'd, of which he is most Ambitious, as an Angel of Light: But, Blessed be God, that is above the Devil? Truth and Light are his Glorious Attributes, as Error and Darkness are the properties of Heil.
And if the Devil were not great in men, and greatly strong, they would submit to Law and Reason, to God and his Holy Writ, to the Laws of the Land. Equity and Conscience, and not call to the Bevil and the Goaler, to help them to wreek their Malice upon Innocent men, that only show them their dirty Faces in a Glass.
God's Will be done, I say with Chrysostome to Eudoxia the Empress, I fear nothing but Sin; and I must Sin, except I reprove my Brethren, and not suffer Sin upon them; for as they have Sinn'd before all, 'tis sit they should Recant before all; And so all of them will, except they be past shame, and consequently past Grace: When Sick Men are deadly Sick, and their whole Constitution so Distemper'd and out of Frame, that the very N [...]ble Parts are senseless, stupid, and past feeling, 'tis high time to Toll the Bell for them, they have not long to live.
Come, then, give Glory to God, Confess and Recant publickly in the Church, where thy Nonsense was committed, and defy the Devil and all his Works, the Pomps and Vanitles of this wicked World. Oh! but may [...]ome say, It cannot be deny'd, but that your Coremony-Monger is the [Page 28]Fop of all Fops, for bowing to the Altar, to the East, now his Wafer-God is departed; bu [...] have a care of condemning him when he bows at the Name of Jesu; for Holy Scripture, the Canon, and Right Reason, all three, are his Vouchers.
Poor heares! And, as Solomon says, Ye Fools! when will ye be wise? have not I wash [...] the [...] [...]aok [...]mor [...]s, and to as little purpose, long ago? For First, That [...] Philipptans the second At the Name of Jesu every knee shall bow, woether in Heaven or Earth, &c. is no Precept, but a Prophesie, That the time shall come, it is not yet come, that the Name of Jesus shall [...] above every Name, whether Barchochobab, the Jews Messias, in English, the Son of the Star; Mehomet, Antichrist, or any other.
The th [...]e is not yet come, for Jews, Tu [...]ks, Athlests and Devils, do no [...] own the Name of Jesus above every Name, whether in Heaven or Earth or Hell, or things under the Earth, but it shall come, (at least) at the day o [...] Judgment, and probably before.
Besides, That Text—At the Name of Jesus—is depraved, and ill [...] to say no worse, for if I did not revere to cast Dire upon the Ashe [...] of the Dead I could name a great Favourite-Bishop, under King Charles the [...] that made that Text speak false English, to Countenance his [...]illy and Fopplsh Warship from that Text; for because he could not bring himself and his Silly Worship to the Scripture, he as Impudently as Prophanely, brought the Scripture to his Whimsey.
Thus Mahomet pretending to have Faith to remove Mountains, told the People (his Followers and Musselmen) that he would make that great Mountain, that stood before him, to come down to him at his third Call, and therefore most gravely admonished it to come, Once, Twice, Thrice, but no Mountain would come, whereupon, without changing Countenance, he said, If the Hill will not come to Mahomet, Mahomet shall go to the Hi [...]l; and so marcht till they met.
For by that Holy Scripture [...] In the Name, is meant, In the vertue and power of J [...]us. Every [...] shall how. &c. (As the Name of the Lord is a st [...]on; Power, the Righteous shall run to it, and [...], Prov. 19.10. No [...] the Letters or sound of Je [...]ovah. not the Tetragrammat [...]n, but the Power of God, is the Tower, not the four Letters, or Sound of the Name, whither the Righteous run and are safe.
Besides, my Ceremont-Monger does not bow at the Name of Joshua, which is the very word, Jesu. in all Languages: As Mat. 1.21. Thou shalt call his Name Jehoshua, Joshua, or Jesu, all one Hebrew word.
Besides, That Holy Text doth not say, in the, Name Joshua, but in the Name of Joshua [...] not [...]; but my Ceremony-Moneer does not bow at the proper Name of our [...] or Joshua, to wit, Emmanuel (or God with us, which [...] both his [...]ivinity and Humanity) nor at the found of the word Christ, Messiah, &c. but stands as unconcern'd, and as [...] as a Stake.
Besides, he does not how the Knee, but like the Papists, nods his Head, or puts off his Cap or Hat, as the Popish Jesuites do, when they Preach, every time they mention the word Jesu, if they do not forget, which they commonly do, and as commonly Sin, if that Foppery be a Duty.
Besides, That Text says, Every Knee shall bow in Heaven, and Earth, [Page 29]and under the Earth: but there are no Knees in Heaven, and those in Graves, in the Earth, and under the Earth, are too stiff to how: Come, 'tis Nou sense and Ridiculous all over, and as a very Specimen of my Fop as any other.
For as there is no Scripture to Vouch for him, so no Reason: What, shal Christians be like that Hystaron Proteron Herb. which Physicians (as toolishly) call Filius ante Patrem? The Son before the Father?
Do we well to blame the Arrians for placing the Father above the Son? Do we well to believe the Unity and Equality of the Holy Trinity? And yet do we bow at the Name of the Second, and not at the Name of the First and Third Person of the Holy Trinity.
Nay, Is Christ divided? do we pay more Reverence to the Name Joshua, (the N [...]me of my Foot Boy) then to the Holy Name of Jesu, namely, Messia, Christ, or Emmanuel? For shame! do not pretend a reason for such Foppish Adoration.
And, if neither Holy Writ, nor right R [...]ason be of thy side, Mr. Ceremony-Monger, thy Canon will be noll'd by the Statutes, the Acts of Uniform [...]y, that makes it very Penal, even deprivation ( [...]) for thee to follow thy Trade of making Coremor [...]es, which God never made, nor the King and Parliament, or right reason ever made.
Besides there are several [...] of Provisors, and then he incures also a Prem [...]ire, to set up the Mi [...]re above the Crown, the Bishop and Priest above the King, and the Convecation-house above westminster-hall.
And this Sawey and Priestly Petulaney, deriv'd from Rome, makes my Ceremony-monger many times very troublesome to the State, and to the Crown, which he will obey, like Thomas a Beck [...]t with a salvo honore Dei, that is, many times, as far as he list, and when he list, or in any thing that is for his own ends, and his own honour, nor a jot further; of which I shall give no late instances here, of those that could strain at a G [...]at, when against their Interest, though for, and against Gods glory, and yet could swallow a Camel, if sent from that Court, if it would but advance their Dominion and sway, or at least not hinder it, witnesses their publishing in Churches, the Sports that may be used on the Lords Day, &c. when this Spirit possesses my Ceremony-monger, he is not only troublesome, but dangerous, and insufferable; which will make me repeat some o [...] my own Speech, Printed Anno 1681. p. 3.4. In Vindication of my Book called the naked Truth; though I am no Erastian, concerning the Keys, the the Keys of the Church; (which some said was true, but unseasonably urg'd; surely 'tis now seasonable, what was then said to the Arch-deacon, viz.
And first like a Churchman (of the old stamp) he will permit his Majesty to come into the Church (that's more kindness than old St. Ambrose, Bishop of Milan, would show sometimes to the great Emperour Theodosius, when he did not do as he would have him to do) nay, this Arch-deacon opens the doors himself, to let his Majesty into the Church, but he will nor trust him with the Keys; as who should say, we will open the Church doors to your Majesty; and come in and welcome, whilst we continue good friends.
But they that keep the Keys, and can open the Church-doors to let his Majesty in, can also (whilst we have the keeping of the Keys) upon displeasure, lock him out: well, for this very trick, and for another late Scotch trick; it I were a Privy. Councellour, I would advise his Majesty, as Head of the Church, and the Governour thereof, to keep the Keys of the Church in his Pocket, or hang them under his Girdle; if it be but because this Prclatical Champion this same pitiful Arch-deacon, like another Pope, or Sr. Peter, w [...] keep the Keys of the Church, and will keep his Majesty from them, and we would f [...] perswade him, that our Laws, (to use his words p. 2. of the Proeme) Excludes the purely Spiritual Power of the Keys from the Supremacy of our Kings: except it be to see that Spiritual Men do their Duty the [...] Belike this same Arch-deacon carries the Leges Angi [...], the Laws of England in his belly, and greedy gut; for I am su [...] he carries the [...] [...] or no where, he carries not these bulky L [...]ws of England in his [...] no gues, in his brains. For, I pray, Good D D. where goes our Laws [...] [...]urely Spiritual Power of the Keys from the Soptemacy of our Kings. if our Kings, ( [...]ke good King David) or wh [...] King Soloman shou [...] have a mind to be [...]cclesia [...]tes
In the days (even) of Popery, I never heard of a King shut our even from the Topp [...]n-Pulpit, if he had a mind to climb so high; stone Henry the 3d. made [...] to [...] [...]he Pulpit, took his Text, Psal. 85.10. Righteousness and Peace have kiss d [...]each other; and then in his Sermon ad Cierum—to the Le [...]rned M [...]ks of the Cathedral Church of Winchester, when he had a little self end too (as some Pulpiteers have also had) in the case, namely, to C [...]jole the said Monks to Elect his Brother (Athelmar) Bishop of Winchester; Paraphrasing and enlarging upon his Text, and saying, (to use his own words) [...] ‘To me and other Kings, who are to govern the people, belongs the rigour of Judgment and Justice; to you (who are men of quiet and Religion) Peace and Tranquillity; And this day (I hear) you have for your own good, been savourable to my requ [...].’ With many such like words. I do not know whether the King had got a License to Preach—from a Bishop. It seems the Clergy (then too) would favour Kings, in what was for their own good, and if it were for their own good, would also permit the King to take a Text and preach in their Cathedral Church; how hard hearted, or strait-lac't soever our Archdean proves, and will not suffer our Kings to have the Keys neither of the Church nor Pulpit; I say, therefore, some Kings would therefore keep the Keys of the Church themselves, and trust never a D. D. of them all with them, no, not the Pope himself.
But what if I prove that our Kings at their Coronations, have at the same time been ordain'd Clergy-men, they are no more excluded (then) by our Laws from the power of the Keys, then Mr. Archdeen, or the Pope himself.
What is Ordination, but the ordering, designing or setting a Man a part to some office? if, to the Ministry, then there are certain significant Words to that purpose, and what more significant words for Ordination to the Priest-hood, or making a Man a Clergy man, than those the Bishops uses to our Kings, namely, with Unction, Anthems, Prayers and Imposition of Hands (as is usual in the Ordination of Priests) with the same Hymn,— [Page] come, Holy Ghost, Eternal God, &c. The Bishop, saying, also, amongst other things, Let him obtain favour of the people, like Aaron in the Tabernacle, Elisha in the water, Zacharias in the Temple, give him Peters Key of Discipline, and Pauls Doctrine.
Which last Clause was pretermitted (in times of Popery) from the Coronation of Hen. 6. till Charles 1. and Charles 2d.) lest it should imply the King to be more a Clergy man, and Ecclesiastical Person than these Archdeacons could afford him; but our Gracious King Charles 2d. and his Father, at their Coronations, had the antients forms of crowning Kings reviv'd, and in the Anointing, the Bishop said, Let those Hands be Anointed with Holy Oyl, as Kings and Prophets have been Anointed, and as Samuel, &c.
Then [...]he Arch-bishop and Dean of Westminster put the Coif on the King's Head, then put upon his Body the Surplice, saying this Prayer, O God, the King of Kings, and Lord of Lords, &c.
And surely (of old) the very Pope himself look't upon our Anointed Kings as Clergymen, else why did the Pope make Hen. 2, his Legate De Latere here in England, the usual office of the Archbishop of Canterbury (usually styled) Legati Nati?
Therefore, Mr. Arch-deacon, you talk like an unthinking Black-coat, stockt with a little superficial Learning, when you say, our Laws exclude the King from the Keys of the Church, to which he has as good right as your D. D. Divinity ship.
And (indeed) to give the Man his due, he is glad afterwards to confess, that Constantine, and the Eminent Christian Emperours called Councels, and approv'd their Canons.
Then, by your leave, dear D. D. They also, for the same reason, might, upon occasion, and if they had seen cause, also disprove the same, who then was Papa of old? Pater Pa-trum? surely no other but he that is PaPa, (I mean) Pa [...]ter Pa-triae.
All the Male-Administrations in Ecclesia stical Government, take their Rise and Original from our Ignorance of the Power of the Keys; or who are the Clavigers, Key-keepers, or Porters to let them in, and turn them out of the Church?
The bulky Clergyman called a Bishop, an Ordinary, or a Diocesian, he (we say) keeps the Church-Keys, he Excommunicats and Excludes Sinners out of the Church, and he alone receives them, and lets them in: (but that's false, the sneaking Register and Surrogate do that Job.)
Ay, But who entrusted a Bishop alon [...] to be the Church-Porter, Doorkeeper, or Church-key-keeper? Where is his Commission, Where is his Authority, and who gave him this Authority?
For it is evident in Holy Scripture, that God never gave him any such Commission, Place, Office or Authority to keep the Keys of the Church, any more than the Speaker of the House of Commons, or Chair-man to a Committee, has power to turn out of the House, or let in any of his Fellow-Members; For does a Bishop differ from another Presbyter, more than the Chair-man from the rest of the Committee, or he that gives the Rule of the Court at Session, differ from the rest of his Brethren and Fellow-Justices, he is no better man, nor the more learned, wise nor more honest a man, though he be Ordain'd to be the mouth of them (that's all) to [Page]to speak what they put into his Mouth: The Speaker takes too much upon him, to speak the Sense of the House 'till the Majority of Votes has given him Instructions and Commissions to pronounce a Sentence, or the Sense of the House, or to turn any Member out of the House of Commons; he has no such Authority, he is the Speaker (indeed) and is look't upon as the wisest and fittest Man for that place [it should be so, it is not always so] one or other of the Members must be chosen Speaker or Chairman, and have precedency, for Order [...]salte, and to avoid confusion; but he no otherwayes differs from other Members, except only that the Honourable Speaker, is the Honourable Mouth, that's all, after the Members have chosen and ordain'd him, and the King has confirm'd him: Even so a Bishop has no new Character confer'd upon him more then when he was but a Presbyter or Elder, save only the Kings Ordination, or Mandate or Conge d' Estire. The E [...]ction of the Dean and Chapter is a mee [...] mockery, as aforesaid, besides the playing with the Edge [...]ools, and mocking of God. Bishops and presbyters used to be chosen just as Parliament Men are chosen, by the Majority of the Vows of the people, as shall be more particularly proved in the [...], in the Chapters concerning Bishops and Ordination. Thus Paul and Barnabas were chosen and ordain'd by the whole Church; Acts 13.3 Perhaps the chief Church-members laid their Hands upon, or ordain'd the Ministers, Missioners or Messengers of the Church, but the worst Member had as much power and vertue to ordain a Messenger, Elder, or Bishop, as the best Bishop or presbyter, if the Majority of Votes had ordain'd and so appointed, as is clear from Scripture, and the practise of the primitive Church, and shall be more particularly insisted upon in the Conclusion of the Chapter of Ordination.
Ordination? What is it more then chusing, approving or setting a Man a part for an Office, to do business relating to this life or a better? I will not say, in Church or State, or as a Clergy-man or Lay-man; for these are idle, ungrounded, vain and odious names of distinction, where God and Holy Scripture never made any such distinction, and has not only confounded our notions of things but has been, and yet is the cause of most of our Confusions, in, what Men mischievously distinguish and call Church and State; which are not two things, nor two distinct Bodies, if you make them so, you must make two Kings, and two distinct Heads to these distinct Bodies, and that is one too much.
And if you make a Clergy-man and a Lay-man, two distinct sorts of persons, you make a Man that God never made; And, if so! Then Clergyman! [I must Catechize you,] Who made you so? God? It is false; For God in Holy Scripture does not call the Preachers, but the Hearers, not the Bishops, Presbyters, and Minister's the Clergy, but the Hearers and Flock are God's Clergy, 1 Pet. 5.1, 2, 3.
The Presbyters which are amongst you, I exhort, who am also a Presbyter, or Elder, or Elderman, or Grand Senior; no greater name can well be given. St. Peter was a Presbyter, can there be a greater Disciple of Christ? And the Presbyters to whom he preach't, and were under him are the same with Bishops, and those Presbyters also to whom St. Paul preach't at Ephesus, and are called Presbyters in one verse, are called Bishops [Page]in another, and their Auditors or Flock are called (the Clergy or) God's Heritage, 1 Pet. 5.3.
How came Cassock men, and Lawne-sleev'd-men, (first) to make an Impropriation of this Word (Clergy or God's Heritage) to themselves forsooth?
I'le tell you: First, it is clear that in all the Holy Scriptures this word (Clergy or God's Heritage) is never mentioned except in this place, 1 P [...]t. 5.3.
Secondly, It is as clear that the word Clergy, or Gods Lo [...], belongs as much at least to the Layety, (as they call them in scorne) if not more than to Presbyters, or Bishops, or Pastors, who by another proud word too call themselves Divines, for distinction sake from the Flock, just as they have rob'd the Layety of their good name Clergy, which by God was given to the Layety in Holy Writ.
Thirdly, When the Pope and Bishops made Encroachments and Usurpations upon the Princes and Emperours, taking their Dominions into the Church, and St. Peters Patrimony, then, the Pope and Bishops feeling their own strength, that they had strength enough of themselves (as a distinct Body) to go alone; then they set up for themselves, and made a new and distinct Corporation in the World, called The Church, The Clergy, The Clergy, The Lords Spiritual, which is (a Title absolutely and by Name) forbidden as a prophane Name, 1 Pet. 5.3. and also in the very next words in the same Verse, they are forbid to Rob the people of the good Name (of Clergy or God's Heritage) because God gave the Flock that Name, and Peter charg'd the Bishops, as our Saviour did before, that they should not be Lords, nor Domineer, nor exercise Lordship, as the Princes of the Gentiles do: For, there was no such distinction, nor prophane Names of distinction, as Clergy and Layety, Spiritual Lords and Temporal Lords, there was but one sort of Clergy, the Flock; and but one sort of Lords (Temporal) The Princes, or Temporal Lords; for it is a Jesuitical Tenet (which we practice, and an old Popish Tenet and Errour) in making Dominion to be Founded in Grace; or to talk of Spiritual Lordship, quatenus Spiritual Men, or Apostles: for it is totidem Verbis, and by Name forbidden the Apostles.
I grant, that a more Honourable Office or Officer cannot be in Nature, than a good Presbyter, or Bishop; nor can that Holy and Spiritual Office be more debauch't and prophan'd than by making steps of Divinity to mount over all Humanity; This is to Rancounter and Ruffle the whole course of Nature; and make Heaven, a pair of Stairs (whither go you so fast?) To Hell, To Hell? And the Devil, by the Pomps and Vanities of this wicked world? (contrary to that (pretended) Vow in Baptism; of which a Bishop (one would think) should make a Conscience.
Thou (that sayst) a Man should not Steal, (saith Paul) dost thou Steal and Filch M [...]ns good Names, that God hath given them, (the Clergy, the Church) and appropriates them to thy self and thy Coat? [...]le for shame, this is a proud and covetous Encroachment, (taking in the Common, by wicked Inclosures) forsake the Devil and the Pope, the [Page 34]Pomp [...] and Vanities of this Wicked World. In the Conclusion, (I'le tell thee) what Bishop; were in the purest and Primitive Times, and how much now they are unlike what they ought to be, if they have any Conscience or Reason in them; but if not, they are sit for any thing rather than Bishops.
Which Honour of Bishop or Presbyter, (for they are all one, or little or no difference [...]saith C [...]sosteme ( [...] [...] in Tim.) very little, no more than ( [...]) betwixt the Honourable Speaker of the House of Commons and the Honourable Members, no more, if so much: But this Honour no Man taketh of himself, but he that is called of God, as was Aaron? where note by the way, that he that is called by the Church, is said to be called by God, or the Holy Ghost; as Acts 13.2, 3. But how was Aaron called of God? By being Ordained High-Priest: Who Ordain'd him? The Captain, the Lay-man (as you call him,) the Prince, by Name, Moses.
And why may not Moses, or any King or Prince, Preach (in his own Person, and Administer the Church Keys in his own Person) as well as Ordain a Deputy, or Deputies, called Aaron's, if he be a Member, as surely, the Head is the chiefest Member?
A King Preach! You'le say, that would be worth the hearing: Yea, so it is; and does not his Sacred Majesty now Preach publickly once a Week (more or less) as occasion serves? What, in the Pulpit, as the other King Henry aforesaid? What matter is that? Whether in the Pulpit, or the Throne, or the Chair, or the Church, or the Banqueting-House, or Parliament-house? The place alters not the Sermon, or Speech?
But, he does not Preach an Hour by the Glass: No, but Preaches more Divinity, Wisdom and Sence in a Minute, than the best of them do in an Hour, that I can Hear, and Preaches oftener than the Arch-bishop: It is a Thousand times more skill to speak much in sew words, than to talk Impertinently a whole Hour. Oh! but Preaching is not the Arch-bishop's Province, but ruling. I thought that Ruling had been only the Kings Province. Yea, the Arch-bishop is Deputed by the King, and Commissionated for the Work.
I am glad to hear it; he should be so Deputed and Commissionated, a [...] other Judges are; but he that gives a Deputation, may upon Male-administration take it away; and if either Arch Bishop, Bishop, or other Prelate of them all, pretend jus Divinum for that prelacy; it is not only false, but they incurr all of them a Premunire, by the Statutes of Provisor [...]s, made even in popish times, against those bold Intruders and Usurpers upon the Throne; nay, nay, If the Rook or the Bishop can Check-mate the King, (put them all together in a Bag) the Game is at an end.
What's the matter with these People, that do not know themselves? If they do not, they must be made to know themselves; wherefore else do I bestow all this pains upon them?
St. Peter, after he was an Apostle (are these Men more) was a Layman, so were all the Apostles, even the 13th too, St. Paul: Peter said, Lo! I go a Fishing; we also (quoth they) will go with thee? Did they [Page 35]throw their nets with their Cassocks on? Or did St. Paul Weave Tent in his Gown? If not, what Flesh alive would have taken them for Clergy men, more than other Fisher-men or Weavers, as we foolishly and falsely accept and use the Word, Clergy-man?
In the Old Testament, Eli, Samuel, &c. were no more Ministers than Magistrats, no more Priests than Judges; nor David any more a Prophet than a Captain or King? nor Solomon the Wise any more a King, than a Preacher, (or Ecclesia [...].)
In the New Testament, Annas, and Cajaphas were Judges and Priests also; whether were they Lay-men then or Clergy-men? The priest sat Judge upon the Bench, and the Judge Preacht, or gave the Charge, Yea, but not in the Pulpit, and the Church: What then? does that make the least difference? He is not fit for the Pulpit, that understands not the Law of the Land and Nations (where he preaches) nor is he fit for the [...]ench, that cannot Preach Gospel from thence, as well as from the Pulpit: Caesar was [...]ontifex Maximus, Chief Priest, and chief General or Emperour.
Amongst the Jews, the Scribes and Lawyers were Judges on the Bench, and Preachers in the Synagogues also; In all Nations it is generally so, in T [...]ky they have no Judges but their Preachers; nay, our Bishops rule not the Church otherwise than by Lay-Elders, (the worst that ever were) [...]un [...]ers, Registers, Scribes, Notaries, Canonists, Officials, Vica [...]generals, Chancellours, Commissaries, and that Ecclesiastical Crew at Doctor's Commons; never was Church in the World [...]o Disciplin'd: What Repentance? What Penance? The purse is punish't, That pays the Reckoning! Oh brave Church! Oh! brave Keys of the Church! Fine Golden Keys, and Dainty Gay Porters, Door-keepers, Key-keepers, or Ciaviger's! In the first four Hundred Years after Christ (till [...]ishops, and (afterwards) The Pope, made such encroachments upon the Layety (as ignorant persons, so esteem'd, so called, and so treated) never was any Man let in to the Church till approved: By who? By the Bishop? No, by the whole Church. Nay, St. Austin, after he was Thirty Years of Age continued a Probationer or Catechumenist, before he could get Admittance into the Church, as a Church-member, Attended at the Door and waited (as he confesses in his Book of Confessions and Rec [...]ations) Three or Four Years; and then, most Votes of the House carried it, not Mr. Speaker's alone, as with us; nay, The Speaker, or Bishop, or Arch-bishop, knows nothing of the matter with us, but leaves all by implicite Faith, to Registers, &c. Was ever any Church of Christ under the Copes of Heaven Govern'd at this loose, filly, and perfunctory rare?
The Papists have much the better on't, for every Priest Rules (as well as) Feeds, uses both Doctrine and Discipline (of Confession and Penance) but the great Diocesan Bishops permit no such matter to protestant presbyters? And why? are not they fitter than Sel-soul Registers, Sumners, Officials? Yes, much fitter; but then people would say that the great Archbishop, that preaches little or nothing of Doctrine, or Bishops that preach no better (if so well and so often) as when they [Page 36]were Presbyters only, are good for nothing more than common Parsons, except for ruling the Church? And how do they rule? by Implicite Faith in the Black-guard, at Doctor's Commons: Bless us! What Discipline is here? For above three hundred years after Christ, the peoples Vote ordain'd, and where the only Clavigers, porters and Key-keepers, to let them in, and turn them out of the Church.
So that the King who is Father of the Countrey, is Father also of the Fathers Ecclesiastical (as well as Temporal) whether they know it or no.
And if I were of Council with or for the Bishops, I would perswade them to alter their popish-like Style, in sending Process and keeping Courts in their own names, contrary to the express words of the Statute of Edw. 6. in that Case made and provided; as I have proved (as yet unanswerably) in my Book called The Test, seven years ago, have a Care of a Praemunire: A blot is not a blot till it be hit, but if it chance to be hit, the Game is at an end.
Let them not strive to be Independent; are they Subjects in Spirituals, as well as Temporals? If Subjects, then act in the King's name, as other Commissioners do, who are authorised by him; but if they dare pretend to a Jurisdiction, Episcopal, Jure divino, more than a Presbyter, have a care of the Statute of provisors; as aforesaid.
But some Men scar nothing, till it fall as heavy as Inevitably; Do we blame Arbitrary power in a King, and allow it in a Bishop? Or, would any Bishop, that knows what true Canonical obedience is, write in that Magisterial and Apostolical style with Saint Paul, when perhaps the business is a mee [...] wanton or trivial Injunction, I might enjoyn you on your Canonical obedience, but for love sake I rather beseech you. We owe obedience to Bishops, and Judges, and Kings, alike in this, namely, to obey them in licitis & honestis, in all lawful and honest things: Loyalty is Legality, if I be legal, I am loyal: Cononical obedience, say all the Canonists, is obedientia secundum Canonem: If Bishop's, whom I reverence and respect heartily as the Kings Commissioners, so that they do not exceed and transgress their commission, should command me to say twenty pater Nosters every day before breakfast; it is mandatum honestum but not licitum▪ quia lex non jubet: It is a good thing, but I am not obliged to do every good thing, no, nor, sometimes, not obliged to do the best thing: He that marries does well, but he that keeps his Virginity does better; If I do well, when I marry, let the Fryars or Nuns do better that like, and if my Bishop command me not to Marry, which is an honest command, but not a legal command, but an arbitrary, lustful, imperious, Tyr [...]annical command, for which the Bishop has no Warrant and he talks without Book, which is more perhaps than he can do in the pulpit, when he prates of his power to command, yet for love's sake he rather beseeches; let him first learn to obey the Word, and to understand the mischief of Impositions, poor Heart! Before he come to give a Magisterial and Dogmatical Command, and to his Reverend Brethren, so, In complement he calls them, but uses them perhaps like Slaves that must do his bidding with Cap in Hand! let him command his Servants and go [Page 37]himself, I am his Reverend Brother if he do not speak against his conscience; mentire est, contra mentem ire; like the pope who is the greatest Tyrant under Heaven, enslaving Souls and consciences, as well as J [...]ling their Bodies till they be Carcases; yet his stile is, Servus Servorum, Servant and Reverend Brother; but I hate the Hypocrisy and dissimulation; It looks like Joab's complement to Abner, Art thou in Health my Brother? And then stabs him: Go Judas! Mind the Bag, mind thy God, Mammon; mind the bagg, and keep your popish Complement— Dear Brother—to your self, till you use him in respect as a Brother: comest thou to betray the Son of Man with a Kiss? Thou Hypocritical Judas! can any Man look into our Chronicles and not see the insufferable Arrogance of priests, in the Reign of popery, and since also, in the Reign of the popish like Ceremony-monger.
What a Slave to priest-craft was stout King William the Conquerour, when Aldred Arch-bishop of York requir'd a Boon of him, which the King was so bold as to deny; whereupon the Arch-priest curst him and flung away, in a rage, out of the Room; The King kneel'd and said, he would never rise till the Arch-Bishop would come and absolve him: The Courtiers begg'd, for they durst not, lay hold on his Laun sleeves, nor lay violent Hands upon a Clerk, but with much adoe and much humble Intercession, they perswaded him at length to return, and to forgi [...] th [...] poor kneeling King and humble penitent; No, quoth the Bishop, let him Kneel, that he may know what it is to vex St. peter and me; at length the King granting the Business, a Money matter, the Arch-bi [...]hop did loose him, absolve him, and bid him rise.
The King in all other things was wise enough, but being bigotted by priest-craft, and priest-ridden, he was craz'd with a foolish Notion and Superstition; Nay, he would not fight, nor inv [...]de England, till the pope gave him his benediction; a B [...]nner with a Wafer-God inclosed in a Golden-crucifix, and also one of the Hairs that once came from St. Peters Head. People can scarce imagine, the Imperious force of a silly Ceremony and Superstition, even amongst Men, otherwise, wise even, at this day, amongst us, meerly by blind Devotion and Implicite-Faith in a filly Ceremony-monger, because, like as I said before, the filly Image, and unthinking Black Coat, makes a great Figure in the Church, and which Nebuchadnezzar the King had ser up.
But if they pretend that Jus divinum is the necessary attribute of Lawn Sleeves, and that all the little things he commands, are Law and Gospel; God help his Noddle, and keep him from a praemunire.
A Bishop may possibly be a good Man, and a good Schollar, though made when popery Influenc'd the Throne; and some of them made so, for the unlikeliest Merits that ever advanc'd a poor heart.
But, if he were not a good Schollar, a good preacher, or a good Linguist before; It is not probable that the Conge De [...]slyer, let it be got how it will, can Improve either his parts or his Learning.
The King's Mandate can make a Man a Bishop, or Lord a Barronet; but all the Kings Mandates in Christendom cannot make him a better Schollar; a better Man, or a better Linguist; this I can demonstrate, by [Page 38]my own Knowledge, Acquaintance and Experience, that they that knew not Syriack, Arabick, nor Hebrew (before they got the Conge-deslier) are as igu [...]tant, and unlearned Linguists as they were when they only were [...] not a jo [...] the [...]ore improv'd by the Kings Mandate, in any Knowledge, except that of their great now Rents; nay without a Miracle, their bu [...] Employments from the Parliament-house to the Council-board, or to [...]rmations or Visitations, must hinder their learned Studies: For Law [...] Sleeves cannot make I man a Linguist, th [...] was none before; pan [...]s pretend (I know not what, nor they neither) Episcopal Character, but a young Bishop, a Novice-Bishop, a Boy-Bishop, and unlearned Bishop; is a B [...]y, a Novice [...]till, his Bishoprick cannot make him more Learned, though it may make him more Right R [...]verend (I grant) then he was when but an ordinary Presbyter.
In short, This Ceremony-monger is that Cumbersome Baggage that Pesters the [...]hip of the church in a Calm, and helps to sink it in a Storm; but what Cares he? Let the Church or State sink or Swim, so he can but save his own Cargo and himself, in the Long-Boar.
Nay, like an uoruly Beast, when he has drunk his fill, he blunders, and puddles the Fountain with his Fect, that so the Streams may be muddy; this makes a Lean and Cadaverous Clergy, the whole Protestant World cannot sample such a jejune Crew; he does well to stand up for pen [...] Laws, and to bring Men with a Constable and a Warrant (into his Church) to hear him read his Plagiary No [...]es, or else he might read them to the Walls and his Sexton, (being conscious to himself of his own Emptines [...] and Demerit) for they must be very hungry that without force and constraint feed on lean Carrion, and cold Cramb's.
Therefore he Caresses, and Hugs a Patron that has a good Living in his Gift; he is his Man of Mettal.
I have read an Oration in praise of Judas; I am apt to think a Ceremony-monger made it, because he admires any Man that carries the Bag; and in his heart loves Popery, because (like him) it makes Money of its God, and yet hates plain down right Popery in England, because it in capacitates a Church-man, and is inconsistent with a Dignatory Ecclesiastical: For though he be of no Religion in good earnest, yet I'le trust him for a sure Stake against baresac'd Popery; whilst the current of the Laws of Preserment runs strong against it: He'll never kiss the Pops Toe, (I'll warrant you) whilst he lives in hopes to make Men kiss his own Golden Slippers.
Thus my Ceremony-monger loves Religion and God too, as the Lyons and other Beasts of the Wilderness love him, who seek their Meat from God, Psal. 104.21.
Nay, he can fast and pray too, and keep Thanksgiving days (as the State calls) in show, but in his heart is as Hypocritical therein, as the Emperour Charles the 5th. Who Ordain'd publick Prayers and Fasts to be made to God throughout his many Dominions, for the deliverance of Pope Clement the 7th from Captivity, when he himself had taken his poor Holiness Prisoner, and kept him Captive in the Castle of St. Angel [...] in Rome.
Thus Mocking God (as the Dean and Chapter does in choice of a Bishop (as aforesaid) after they have received the Kings Mandate to choose N. N.) and begging the a [...]ce of the Holy Ghost in their Election of a fit Man to that holy Office, when they knew well enough their Man befare hand, fit or unf [...]hcy can neither will nor chuse; th [...] (like Ephraim Hos. 11.12.) compassing God about with [...], and the House of Israel with deceit.
Thus the crafty Fox (the Emperour Tiberius) Mockt Heaven by Commanding Common prayers should be said throughout the whole Empire for his safe Conduct in a Progress he never intended to make, pro itu & reditu (says Suetonius) supplicationes indixit cum non intenderet.
Thus the Ceremony-monger is always crying up the Church, the Church, (meaning himself and such as himself) for whatsoever a doe he makes about Establishing the Church, ' [...]is the wages (it brings him) which makes him bustle, like King Hiram's Servants in hewing Timber to build a Temple for that God which they never knew nor cared for, being a lover of his own Will-Worship, his own Will and pleasure, more than a lover of God.
Uniformity he cries, and one Mouth; meaning his own; for with his Mouth he shews much love, but his [...]eart (like Ez [...]ki [...]ls Auditors) goeth after his Covetousuess:
Yet as Covetous as he is, he will sometimes be as liberal as a Prince, to propagate, maintain and uphold that single and paramount Vertue of his Foppish and illegal Ceremonies: and therefore at the Choice of Parliament men, what pains and cost does he lavish in making Parties for such men as are most like himself, and such as he thinks will keep up the out-side of the Church, how little soever of true Devotion is within; being Zealous for Faith, and perhaps true Faith in his head, though he banishes Charity by a Penal Law: Good or bad, are but empty Names with him, and things indifferent. Is he a Ceremony monger? That's his Test by which he tries all Mens Religion and Devotion.
Like the Prince of darkness, he hates the very Sun in the Firmament, if it discover his dark abode.
This Eccle [...]cal Fop espouses Religion (as other Fops Marry) only for the fair F [...], Portion, and gaudy Dress; and may be a Son of God notwithstanding, (I mean) in that Sence the Scriptures called the Old Gyants, the [...]ns of God, that seeing the Daughters of Men, that they were fair, took them Wives of all, which they chose meerly for the Skin deep perfection;) Eyeing nothing of inward goodness, nor the Beauties of the mind: for both of them are Carnally-minded and Fleshly given, hankering after the Law of a Carnal Commandment, and Carnal Ordinances; O! how he hugs them?
And if any Man dare speak a word against the Beauty of his Mis— or dare make Comparisons, or prefer a richer Beauty, Oh! how he Suaggers with his curses and Anathema's, and Damms him for a Schismatick, and if he can, Jay is him too, and there lets him D [...] and Rot; what speak against Mis [...]?
Thus, he is indeed the great Scare crow in the Church, a man of Clouts [Page 40]that looks like a man at a distance, but, if you search him, he has no bowels; he wants not Will, but Power to make his [...] Finger thicker than his Predecessors Loyns.
His Conscience is always just of the Size with that of his Prince; If his Prince be given to Wantonness, he dares not so much as quote the Seventh Commandment in his Sermon, nor name Adultery; If he had liv'd in Maoedon in the Reign of Alexander, you might have known him for a true Courtier, by his Wry, neck, Regis ad exemplum.
His Ceremonies are more futile and thin than a Spiders Web, and can neither catch nor hold any body but Flyes or such silly Infects; yet he has in their Defence the Venom and Gall of a Spider, which transcends him in one thing, for she begins her Web at her Bowels, but he has none; as being of the Opinion of the Philosopher Zeno, who, amongst the Diseases of the Soul: (which he reckons up) makes Humane Compassion to be One.
He keeps a bustle for his Trinkets, let it make never so great a Disturbance or Danger to the Church or Sate; pro Aris & Focis, he cries, stand up for the Church; though indeed his Area is the Ara to which he bows so devourly and demurely.
Not that he cares for his Trinkets neither, if he could make more Money by parting with them, than he has got by keeping of them; He would forsake them and the Saints too, with Demas, for love of this present World, upon a fair Prospect of a better Market at Thessalonica, in the Idols Temple; Amicus Plato, he cries, amicus Socrates, fed magis amici Divitiae & & Honores.
He is worse than Balaam, who would not curse Israel, tho' Balak would have given him his House full of Silver and Gold.
For my Ceremony-monger is always for that Religion, that is most in Vogue For my Ceremony-monger is always for that Religion, that is most in Vogue and like a French-man, loves any thing that is infashion, but when out of fashion, he leaves it like Lice, that prey only upon the Living; but forsake men when they are going to die; or like Rats, that by Instinct, desert the House that is ready to fall: Thus he worships (with the Indian) the Rising Sun.
When the Mendicant Fryar, preach'd before Cardinal Odescalcho (this present Pope, before he got up to the Infallible Chair) and Cardinal Sachetti; he begun his Sermon thus:
—St. Peter was a Fool, St. Paul was a Fool, the Prophets, and Aposties, all Fools, for wandring about in Sheep-skins and Goat-skins, being destitute, afflicted and tormented in their way to Heaven, when they might as well have gone thither (as their Successors) in Scarlet Gowns and Scarlet Hats; The Capuchin had an Eye to my Ceremony-monger, or to one as like him as ever he can look.
For this Ceremony-monger (notwithstanding his voluntary humility) it as proud as Lueifer, and hectors like a Pope against all Opposition, exalts himself above all that is called God; valuing his Canons, above the Statutes of the Realm.
Thus as the Papists preach up the Rules of St. Francis, St. Benedict and St. Dominick; that may be good things too (many of them) not only above the Laws of the Land, but above the Laws of God too, and strains [Page]at a G [...]at, at the same time, when he swallows a Camel; for in his Prayer before Sermon, he speaks like a Mouse in a Cheese, when he prays to God there, but when he preaches up [...]he Gospel Rules, then he makes the Pulpet thunder (till the Church Eccho again) with the Canons, The Canons (which may be good things too,) some of them, so that they make no comparisons with their betters) making a hideous noise with preaching up them and his Ceremonies: methinks he then looks like the Emperour Caligula, when with a numerous Army he march'd with Colours flying, Trumpets sounding, and Drums beating (loud as a Thunder clap) to gather Cockie Shells.
No man more zealously cries up the Laws of the Land and Acts of Uniformity, when he gets a Non-conformist thereby upon the Hip, and to Penal-Law him; but when the point of the same Acts and Laws of the Land are turn'd upon himself, or he be commanded to do any thing he does not like, he cries out Conscience and the Liberties of Holy Church are Invaded: Just as the Jews, to affront Caesar, they cry'd out, That God alone was their King, but to affront Christ, They alter their note, and say, We have no King but Caesar.
Thus he lays heavy Burdens upon others, and grievous to be born, but he himself (that is the greatest Non-conformist to the Act of Uniformity with his irrational and illegal Ceremonies) does not touch the Burden with one of his fingers. Yet you cannot well discover him; for ye shall not readily see him walk, but like a Spaniard, never or seldom abroad without his Cloak; Beggarly enough too, for the most part, and can scarcely cover his Rags, and his beggarly Elements and Will-worship.
CHAP. VI. Concerning unlighted Candles on the Altar, Organs, Church-Musick, and other Foppish Symbols, &c.
THE Papists, like the Cynick Diogenes, that went with his Candle and Lanthorn at Noon-day into the Market-place, to see if he could find an honest Man there, because the Sun could not show one, at their Idol [...] trous and Preposterous Mass, draw the Window-curtains and Window-Shuts, as if they were ashamed, that the Sun should see such a dark Devotion, and dissipate the darkness, like that heavy Plague sent by God to Egypt, a darkness palpable, a darkness that might be felt: Thus the dark Shop Commends the Ware, and like other Stage Plays, Act at Noon-day by Candle-light to chuse, lest their Tinsel-lace should not pass for Silverlace, nor their Bristol stones for Diamonds: Our Fops, with less Reason, do set up Candles too on the Altar, as well as the Papists, we must still be like them, and be popish Apes, without so much as Popish Reasoning, filly though it be; Ours is Non-scene.
For what signification of Light can this Ceremony be, any more than a stick? A Candle unlighted is no more a significant Ceremony of Light, than a Stick, before the fire touches it, is a Firebrand, I am not anly afham'd of my Fops, but really am [...]fham'd to use any words about it; it is needless to expose it, and yet it is retain'd as a thing of value, because that [Page]Foppery, amongst others, made my Ceremony-monger, a Man of value; for without them he had still Sare in the Seat, which best becomes him, and it is too good for him, the lowest Stool in the Church.
No [...], that our Blessed Saviour loves to see his Spoure, the Church, In a [...] D [...]ess; no, her [...]eyment is, or should be, of Needle work and Wrought-gold; Does any Queen deserve it better? but her chiefest Beauty is her inward and Spiritual Grace and Vertues.
There's something more than a pretty Face and Portion, that Wise Men look for in a Bride; though my Cremony-monger, like other Fops, minds little or nothing [...], or nothing so much; he'll debar you of the Holy Sacrament, if you accept not his A [...]ry Cross in Baptism, tho' his hand in making it, [...] a Circle more than a Cross, or looks like nothing, [...] is nothing, or is I do not know what: And will deny the Chil [...] Bread of Heaven, and rather give it to Dogs if they crouch, except the children [...], like Popish children, take it in the same posture of Adormion, as the Papists their Transubstantiated W [...]ser; 'tho it offends the [...]; as a Baboon, so much the more loathsom, for being so like us.
I know, that the Church of England declares in words against any Ad [...] on, tho' they retain the posture, the Popish posture, not our Saviours posture at the Holy Supper, but vulgar people mind Works more than Words; and is not that S [...]iritual Father very Wanton, that will lay a S [...]um [...]ling-block (so Popish like) to make his weak Child fall? You and I can [...] over it, but all Men are not so [...]imble; and can wear a Surplice or White gown as harm [...]esly as a Black; but others dislike it, because it is a Mass Priests Weed, which is true, tho' it is a silly reason, but all Men are not Wise.
I Read of Vocal Musick in the New Test [...]ment, and Singing of Psalms, but not a word of the little Instrument, the Violin, nor the great Bagpipe [...], or Organ; nor of Men that made a Trade of Singing, as the Beggars do in Bohemi [...], and as Gypsies, and our Singing-men, and Singing-boys get their living by Canting: Nay, most abominably and profanely they Cant the very Creed: what chopping of words so ludicrously in so Solemn a Confession of Faith; Born of the Virgin, Virgin, Virgin; Born of the Virgin Mary, Mary, &c. Oh! most profane! and every body hears this, but who reproves it, who amends it? That ought to amend it, and not fit (like so many unthinking Black-coats) not minding what is done with such Impious Mockery, and silly Eccho.
But, why not Instrumental Musick as well as Vocal? There's a vastly different Reason, the poorest Men, the poorest Parishes have Tongues wherewith to praise God, but have not so much superfluous Mony to spare, as to buy Organs, and then give as much or more to maintain an Organist, as the Vicar has.
Some Bishops talk of Uniformity and one Mouth; Why not one sound too? A poor Country Man may be as good a Christian, as a Rich Citizen, E [...]oker, or Usurer, that has superfluous Money to buy Organs, which if [...] conduce to Godliness, the Bishops ought to commend it to the poor, as well as to the rich Courtier, King or Queen; and allow some Thousands Yearly, [Page 43](surely he can spare it freely for the promodon of Godliness and Uniformity which he so eries up:) but Mum—not a Penny, I'le secure you, to make one Sound, and one Mouth.
And who can blame that Countrey Man (though all the Church laught at him in the great Ally) when the Pipes begun to Play, he fell a D [...]ncing, having never heard the like before, except the Bag-pipes in an Ale-house where he did always use to Trip it?
And the Country people do think that they want some expedient and requisi [...] Devotion, in Prayers and pralies, or else they and all the World must think that this Popish like Mus [...] and Organs, is too much Superstition.
But what can ray silly Ceremony monger say for himself, why Sentence should not be pronounced against him for an Impenicent Dissenter, Anathematiz'd, and then by (his own invention, the strange Wr [...] de Excom. cap [...]endo) be say [...]'d, and tormented (like poor Dissenters from the Act of Uniformity) till h [...] Roar again; and then Depriv'd and Degraded; Come! Perillus! 'Tis but just you should hand-sell your own Brazen-bull. For Disiencers (by Omission) are pardonable, th [...]y may pretend weakness and Conscience; but in those needless, silly, irrational, illegal and unscriptural Ceremonies, what const thou plead but wantooness, folly and Impudence?
Mu [...]lick is a great Spender the greatest Spender and Waster or [...], in the acquest of all Sciences, to be expert and ready at it: Nay, you'le lose it too, if you have no [...] great deal of waste time (from business) to throw away upon it! David had nothing to do, when he was young but sit on a Hill and Pipe to his Sheep, and pinger his Lute and Harp, in which by use he was so skilful, that i [...] made him a Courtier (though King S [...]ul had forgot him when he kill'd Goliah) but he had often before us'd to play the Devil out of him: And [...] [...]ental Musick was as Natural to him as Psalms; his Fingers as good at it, as his Tongue; if Men be brought up in Hunting, in Musick, &c. they' [...]e scarcely leave it, when older or richer, but rather use it the more, & improve it; and when we have got Davids Skill, and King David's exchequer, we'le have as many Organs and kill as many Bullocks for a sacrifice, as he did, if we have nothing else to do with our Money; or cannot cell how to while off an hour or two, in Devotion, without Org [...]s to divert us.
However, we may make my Ceremony-monger pull [...]own his Organ, and S [...]ll it to the Play-house, or M [...]sick house, because it is a Ceremony not contained in the Common-Prayer-Book, and therefore against Uniformley, & against his Act of Uniformity, with which he does [...] Mouthe, crying, One Mouth, one Mouth, why not one Sound, one Sound as well in all Churches?
My Ceremony monger pretends to a have wonderful zeal for knowledge and against ignorance, and would have the Youth instructed (in the Catechisms) to admiration, like the Pharisee (of old) and yet to his utmost takes away the Key of Knowledge from the people, getting the Press Monopoliz'd to himself many times, and (stopping the Press and the Pulpit-doors) and Silencing those (to chuse) that Discover his Buffoonery in Religion; taking a pride in a Tyranical prchemins [...], (like the Pharisee too) and saying, That these same People who know not the Law are accursed: He would gladly be accounted the Domine sac Totum, and yet does nothing (at all) that good is, nor permitting others to do [Page 44]it; he neither enters in himself, and they that would enter in, he hinders, except he may be the only Authentick Porter, or Door-keeper, scorning that Almighty God should give any Man better Lyes than his own, though he (poor Soul!) sees but gl [...]nerlogly, and by Spectacles, in a Glass darkly; and all to uphold the high Seat he has got in the Church, (I know not how; and yet I do too, in part, though not so well perhaps as the Popes Nuncio, or the Ambassadour Castlemain, or Father Petres.)