THE Ceremony-Monger, HIS CHARACTER, In Five Chapters.

  • CHAP. 1. Concerning Bowing to the Altar, To the east.
  • CHAP. 2. Of Implicite Faith.
  • CHAP. 3. Concerning the Reading-Dons of the Pulpit.
  • CHAP. 4. Concerning Bowing at the Name Jesu, and the Power of the Keys, The Church-Keys.
  • CHAP. 5. Concerning Ʋnlighted Candles on the Altar; Organs, Church-musick, and other Popish-like and Foppish-Ceremonies.

With some Remarks (in the Introduction) upon the New-Star-Chamber, or late Course of the Court of King's Bench.

Of the nature of a Libel, and Scandalum Magnatum.

And In the Conclusion, Hinting at some Mathematical Untruths and E­scapes in the Common-prayer Book, both as to Doctrine and Discipline; And what Bishops, were, are, and should be; And Concerning Ordi­nation.

Humbly proposed to the Consideration of the PARLIAMENT.

Ye men of Athens! I perceive that in all things ye are too Superstitious. Acts. 17.23.
Behold, the Devil shal cast some of you our into Prison. Rev. 2.10.
But, those that walk in Pride, God is able to Abase. Dan. 4.37.

By E. HICKERINGILL, Rector of the Rectory of All-Saints in Colchester.

EDINBURGH, Re-printed in the year, 1689.

To the Right Honourable CHARLES Earl of Shrewsbury in England, of Waterford and Weshford in Ireland, Lord Furnival, &c.
His Majesty's Principal Secretary of State.

My LORD,

I Come not now to praise you, 'tis needless; for, who can be igno­rant, what a mighty Hand (both Military and Civil) you have, as successfully, as vigorously extended, (under the happy Influence of their Sacred Majesties) as a Tutelar and Angelical Guardian of these King­doms, (amongst other Worthies) in this auspicious and late Revolution; And in the Hand of the Almighty, a signal Instrument of our Deliverance from impending Ruine, venturing all that was near and dear unto you, as well as your Life, to help to save ours, by a Kindness as superlative as your Courage and Conduct?

Much less do I come with this little Manual, to avert your more Im­portant Studies; It will rather (I hope) divert your Cares in your soft­er Minutes. But however, if the Picture I draw do not please, yet be­ing in minoture, so short a view cannot long detain you.

That Church-Ruffler (in this following Character expos'd) has so dis­compos'd and d [...]fa [...]'d to his uttermost the Church, that to pourtr [...]y his Deformity in its proper Features, requires more of the skill and dexterity (of a Titian) than to limn a perfect Beauty; and the Divertisement is as pleasant to a judicious Eye, that Examines even the Shades of every Line and Lineament; but my Ink is not black enough to draw him in his proper Colours, and sutable to that Havock he has made in the Church in our Age. For, like the Moor of Venice, he has been as bloody as black; and to decipher his Face to the Life, my blunter Pen should have been sharpned, and (imitating the keen Fury against the less Haggard Face of Witches) scratch't it, 'till the trickling Blood had supply'd my Pen with Colours proper for his Character.

Some perhaps will wonder where this Ecclesiastical Scarramuchio has [...]rk't all this while, that he should not be visible enough 'till his Picture [...]e drawn: But, I bring no News, nor tell any false Tales, for he has long [...]een descry'd, but now is the Time, to let him see the Spots in his dirty [...]ace, if he will but impartially view himself in this Mirrour.

But, if he happen to be enraged at his own Physyognomy, (like that [...]d Lady that broke all the Looking-glasses she could come at, because [...]ot one of them would show her a handsome Face) and he offer to break his Glass, where can it better seek for shelter than under your Lordships [...]tronage, that is as generously willing as able to protect oppressed inocence.

For, as such, I must and may recommend it to your Honourable Protecti­ [...]; which would be affronted, if it appear not to be so very Innocent, [...]at it hurts no Man; describing and characterizing the Vice, not the [...]lty Person (vitium non virum) offending none but that dull Fool (if [...]ere be any so dull) as to hold up his hand and cry Culprit.

Some Ceremonies are as necessary as useful in our Address to Heaven; [Page 4]as also whenwe pay our due Respects to the Thrones below; but the Ce­remonies here expos'd, are the Bastard-brood that Popery and Foppery begot in our Protestant Church; and which neither the Laws of God, nor the King, does legitimate.

For when the Popish Ceremony monger was at the Reformation exclu­ded and shut out of our Protestant Church, he had ('till now) Interest enough (notwithstanding) to make my Ceremony monger his Surrogate, or dull Tool: And the duller Tool, the fairer Candidate for the place; so he had but wit enough to remember his Creator, and know his Cue: And since Popery (plain bare fac't Popery) was inconsistent with the Laws of our holier Church, and being Adulterate, and consequently Ille­gitimate, Therefore a Popish Ceremony in Masquerade, an Ecclesiastical Symn [...] must be laid in its room.

But none of their Spiritual Changlings shal inherit here; nor is any other here condemned but what has made great waste, and disturbed the Peace of the Church; and must necessarily bring True Religion to an ir­recoverable weakness and Consumption, if much longer tolerated.

That Redemption (which St. George, the Champion of England gave to the Virgin ready to be ravaged by the Dragon) may be fabulous; but it is certain, that your Lordship cannot better deserve the most Ho­nourable (George and) Garter, nor more immortalize your great Name, than by improving your happy Talent, and Interest in their Sacred Majesties, that they may (by redeeming the Church from Popish-like Slavery, in non-sensical and illegal Ceremonies) grace with fresh Lustre, that old (but sometimes sullied) Flower of the Crown—Defender of the Faith: That so, as our Renowned King William, the Conqueror (of Hearts, and therefore the Conqueror) of Kingdoms, may perfect a Re­demption for us in the Church, without Blood, as well as our late miracu­lous (because not sanguinary) Redemption in the State; Whereby Pri [...]e has the fairest Ground in the World, whereon to build her self a so id­ly, so illegal despair of the vain Attempt; their Sacred Majesties being as humble as high; like the State-house at Amsterdam, whose Foundation is as deep in the Ground, as their Pinacles high, and ma [...]ing the Skies.

And what Rebel to Heaven, as well as Traitors to their Sacred Maje­sties, can refuse due Homage and Fealty to such Landlords, to whom God himself has deign'd to give Livery and Seizin, and given, by his vi­sible Hand, Possession of the Throne?

And as the Countenance (only) of former Kings gave Life to these Popish like Brats (meerly for their likeness to Popery) so their sacred Majesties can kill the Changling (only) with a Frown; so futile, so id­ly, so illegal and Spiritless a thing is this same Ecclesiastical Bugg (here character [...]z'd); And yet as little and as weak as he is, he has been a most mischievous Scandal and Stumbling blo [...]k to keep his Betters out of the Church, as well as the better half of the Kingdom, and consequently has made the Church so little, so schismatical, so divided; and therefore weak, dull and dark; as being so mainly dedicated to the spurious and ir­rational Whimsies of his Ecclesiastical Noddle and Invention.

But how Nonsensical soever his Whimsies are, he has made true steps thereon (sometimes) to mount to the Pinnacles of the Temple, and [Page 5]there secure as well as engross the Honours and Priviledges of the Church (as a Monopoly) to himself (if possible) and to the Men of his scantling and little way.

Have we not the like Con [...]lsions in 1 [...]89▪ a [...] in 1639, both in Church and State, and from a like Cause too?

The then Star-chamber was reviv'd in the late King's Bench, and the High-Commission Court sat again in the Council Chamber, the Popish like Ceremony-monger has again debauch' [...] the Virgin Purity of Primi­tive Religion, and ravish't her mo [...] impudently in the very Church; where we that have se [...]n both the Years, —39, and—89, may well be af­frighted to see the Ghost of little Doctor Laud (that occasion'd the Com­motions of Civil War (first) in Sco [...]land, afterwards in England) now again, (to our great astonishment) to walk in the Church.

I have done my endeavour to lay the Ghost, and charm it down; let it go to Rome, its birth [...]place, what does it do here in a Protestant Church? where, if my Ceremony-monger Sin before all, Rebuke before all; nay, rebuke them sharply, saith St. Paul, [...], cuttingly.

The Corruptions are great, and deeply impo [...]humated, a Gangreen may well be feared; and if I have, with sharp and cu [...]ing Words (some­times) gone to the very bottom of the Sore, (why should they roar so?) 'tis but to let out the Filth, my Ceremony-monger will thank me, if he overlive his Ulcer; was it ever (before now) drest to the bot­tom?

They'l say, my Style bites; Yes truly, I have made a File of it for the very nonce, to file off the Rost of an Iron Ag [...]; I have lent a hand to po­lish it: Let them call it an Incision Knife, a File, (or what they will) a Besom (if they please) I care not, so it do but help to sweep down the Futile, and frail Church Cobwebs, though they hang aloft.

And tho I have anointed my Incision-Ka [...]e with Weapon Salve, to cure as it cuts, yet I But, as Bellarmine, in a far it is but wise foresight to [...]eek some noble Shelter, and where better, than un­der Your Lordship's Patronage and Protection?

To which I might make some remote and modest Title, by Consangui­nity, (for no Man was ever counted Vain or Arrogant in making claim to his Bl [...]th right) one half of the Blood in my Veins, (my Mother [...]ing a Troutbeck) is lineally descended and derived from the Noble Blood of the Trout [...]eeks, the Autient Earls of Shrewsbury, whence you derive half of your Noble Blood, and all your Noble Title.

But, as [...]ellarmine, in a far greater Case, having writ several Treatises of the Merit of Goods Works, concludes, that in reference to the Soul's Salvation, The best Title is Free Grace; so, in this far Inferiour Case, to protect and save this little Treatise, from the desperate Assaults of devilish and wicked Men, by your Noble Patronage, The best Title I can make to it, is your own Free-Grace, and Generous Goodness, which (be pleased to) vouchsafe to

My LORD, Your Lordship's most devoted Servant, and Admirer, E. Hickeringill

The INTRODUCTION.

AS Black as my Ceremony-monger is, (here describ'd) he is nei­ther Moor, nor Tawny-Moor, Infidel nor Jew; but a Protestant-profess'd; he may be a Papist, or worse (an Atheist) in Masque­ra [...]e, but his Face is Protestant.

I grant, that I have Censur'd, Condemn'd, and Hang'd him up in Effigie; yet I have drawn no Blood, done hurt to none; for my Man is a Man of Clouts, a Man in the Clouds, a meer Individuum Vagum; so that no Man alive can be offended, because let his Guilt be never so great, in being like my Whiffler-Ecclesisstical, though [...]e [...]ip him to the very Heart, and fly in so much influance the Throne, come thither, and make him blush, yet he is as sate as a Thief in a Miln, except he come into Court, and confess himself to be the Man which is here (for his guilt) Expos'd and Sentenc'd.

If the Fool Confess, he must Suffer, like that silly Wit-all, (who shal he nameless) and not being content to be a Cuckold, he must needs Wind his Horn, and Proclaim his own shame in open Court, by good Evidence; and so he remains a Cuckold upon Record; like the silly Snall, who had never been taken for a Cornudo, or Horn'd-Brute, if he himself had not thrust out his own Horns: If such Disasters behappen a Wise Man, his Wisest way is to make no Words on't, but to cover the shame as decently as may be, and put his Horns in his Pocket.

This Brute with his Irrational Ceremonies, should belong to a Protestant Church and Constitution; but (like an out-lying Deer, which are usually the [...]ustiest and fattest of all the Brutish Herd) has through Wantonness, or greedy Ravage, broke out of the Pale of the Church; where if he would be content to keep, [...] would be safer for him; and my design is (in pure Love and Kindness to his Welfare) thus gently to Hunt him Home; and so he will acknowledge it surely: But what Gratitude can a Man in Reason expect from a Brute, who hears no Reason, but is guided by furious Passion and Appetite?

And I deny not, but that he may owe much of the Flesh on his Back [...]o his Rambling after Popish like Ceremonies, (when Popery did so much influance the Throne, in the happy days of the two Castle-mains, and Fa­ [...]her Peter) who not being able to bring in Popery Bare-fac'd, therefore the Quid pro Quo, the something like it, and near it, must be countenanc'd [...]d preferr'd. And my Ceremony-Monger is now as loth to depart with [...]em, (his Dear dear, Silly, and Illegal Ceremonies) for old Acquain­ [...]nce-sake, as with his old Dog, or old Horse, that though past Service, yet [...]e retains them for old Kindness, and old done Deeds.

And yet they are such, as neither the Laws of God nor Man ever made, [...]d therefore must be Condemn'd and Executed, if brought to the Bar of [...]ly Writ, and right Reason.

At which Bar, no Man has a better Commission of Oyer and Terminer, to [...]raign and Judge him, than my self, as being lawfully (into the Sacred [...]der of Priest-hood) Ordain'd, and the Holy Bible then put into my [...]nds, by the Learned Saunderson,) then Bishop of Lincoln, and now (I [...]bt not) a Saint in Heaven, though he was Nick-nam'd the Presbyteri­an [Page 7]an Bishop, and of a Captain, (both perswaded me, and) made me a Priest, saying, Take thou Anthority to preach the Gospel.

There's my Commission; and let any Man, Pope or Bishop, shew a pa­tent more Authentick to Teach all Nations; and I will never Preach nor Writ Divinity hereafter; but there are but very few Glergy-Men, or Bi­shops in England, (either in or out of the Universities) that can shew any Authority of so ancient Standing, or of to old a Style and Date as mine. Nay, we had no Scripture, if Writing be not Preaching: Besides, if I should not thus teach my Ceremony Monger by the Press, I could not Admonish him at all; for my Pulpit is a narrow place, though it stand alost; and few Ceremony-Mongers desire to be cured. For [...]ike men that have filthy old Ulcers on their Legs, they hate to be drest before folks; they had rather It should Fester, than be known. There is not one word in the Ordina­tion of Bishops, in our Common-Prayer-Book, or in Holy Writ, that gives a Bishop more Authentick Orders to preach, than a Presbyter or Priest; only the King's Maodate makes him the King's Commissioner: But in re­ference to God or the People, a Bishop has no better or fresher Character to Teach, or Administer the Holy Sacraments, than any Presbyter, or than himself; whilst he was but Presbyter; Nor has any King or Parliament, Bishop, or Synod, any Power, any lawful Power to silence me for teaching Truth: The Character is Indelible; when they answer what I have Writ, concerning Imprimatur's, or Restraint of the Press (in my late Speech with­out Doors) they shall hear further from me.

For no Flesh alive has more Authority than our Lord Jesus, and the Apostles had, which was for Edification, not Destruction; to do good, not harm; to Advance, not to Depress Truth; to save Mens Lives, Li­berties and Properties, not to destroy.

But some may object to me, that the late King did silence me, shut me out of my own Pulpit, and banish't me from my House and Home, my Self and my Family, for three or four years last; not only against Law, Equity and Conscience; but without Law or any Colour, Process or Form of Law; and yet I submitted in quietness and silence, and made no noise in the World, nor to the World; not so much as Groaning or Complain­ing, but far down silently.

To which I answer, by confessing that it is (all of it) a great Truth, and I was by Arbitrary Power and Oppression, to my Damage! some hun­dreds of Pounds, thus silenc'd (as a foresaid) by Will and Pleasure: a word from the Court ejected me from my Pulpit and my House: but also a word from the Court recall'd me, about a month before the Dutch Landed.

But to whom could I complain? To the Throne? I did, without Re­medy, for that opprest me. To the Righteous God, I made my humble Appeal, and he heard in Heaven his dwelling Place, and laugh'd my Ad­versaries to scorn, yea the Lord has had them in Derision; and those that banish'd me from my House without Law, and without a Cause, are by God's Righteous Hand and Judgment, turn'd out of their Houses and Homes; and before they went, recanted their Oppression towards me; but going away in haste, his Apostles could not hear me Restitution for the injustice.

There is a time for all things: our Blessed Saviour had [...]any things to say, but even his Aposties could not hear them sometimes; I writ against [Page 8]these Illegal Ceremonies in The Black Non-conformist seven years ago: The times would not bear i [...], the Criminals would not hear; P [...]pery, & Popish-like Ceremonies were Rampan [...], My Soul did weep in se [...]et for their Pride, they would not hear, the Judgments of God are beginning at the House of God. I'll now try again, perhaps they will now hear.

But, may some say, Have a care of Scandalum Magnatum; [...] a care that your Book be not a Lybel, and a Reflection apparent (visibly apparent) against great Men, you might have whispered these things so private to them.

And have got a box o'th' Ear for my pains, (you mean) by that par­ticular Application; whereas now none can be offended justly, except his guilty Conscience make him confess, that I have hit him home, and that he is the Man.

But clear Scriptures (may some still urge) shall not stand for Law in the King's Bench; there you must follow the Course of the Court: Ay, ay, I know it has been so, but I hope, th [...] New-Star Chamher-Court (at that end of the Hall) will now follow the Fate of that other Old Star-Chamber-Court, con­demned (by 17 Car. 1.10.) at the other end of Westminster-Hall; For intro­ducing an Arbitrary Power and Government (the very words of the said Statute) as an intolerable Burthen.

I will remember (indeed) that Lord Keeper North, in his Speech, when he introduc'd the new Lord Chief-Justice (what shall I call?) Scro [...]s, I think it was, told him how easily he might [notwithstanding the said Stature of Condemnation] resuscitate and re [...]ve that old Star-Cham­ber, by a Resurrection more glorious, more extensive. In the King's-Bench, in its Cognizan [...], and Juri [...]diction; then that old dead (and by Statute damn'd) Star-Chamber.

He was too true a Prophet, witness their unconscionable, unchristian, unscriptural and illegal (nec salvn tenem [...]nto)) Fines, without Bowels of Compassion, making a Man an Offender for a word; and then ruine and undo a Man and his House, a Man and his Heretage, his Liberty, his R­state, his Honour, and sometime his Life: in such an Arbitrary, various and disagreeing Way to themselves as well as to Law, tha [...] in the late fa­mous Tryal of the Seven Bishops, the Bench it self could not agree, what was the Law of the Court.

They all agreed that the Course of the Court, and the Law of the Court were Synonimous, one and the Phrase or Paraphrase; but what was the Law or Gourse of the Gourt, could not be de [...]lded! Judge against Judge, [...]he Bench against the Bar; Atturney that was, against Atturney that is Soli [...]iter General that was. against him that is; and the most killing Ar­guments, were Argumenta ad Hominem, making the same Tongue in this Try­al, Condemn, and Eat its own Words in former Tryals, (viz. before they chang'd Places.)

The Shot flew desperately from the B [...]r to the Bench, dreadfull doings there were; however they kept a Pother, Richard against Baxter, and L' Estra [...]ge against Roger, never made such a splutter.

At length, to end the Contest, the Wise Chief Justice went to Council, and gravely ask'd the Advice of the Attorney. (Sir Sam—but he was puz­zled too, and was Nonplus'd for the Course of the Law of the Court) ex­cept for twelve years, good Gentleman! only by hear-say, for sixty yeare [Page]more, as he was told, (by an Old Stager, that had been twice a Child, and no man alive could remember, that ever he was a Man, (In the right Sense) the Vacation b [...]twixt the two Terms, (of Child-hood and Dotage) was so very a shor [...] Vacation, if any at all.

I Presume, sayes one. I presume, sayes another, I presume violently says a third; nay, (if Presume he the Word) then I presume also, that in so presuming against Men's Lives and Liberties, they were too Pre­sumpruous. Therefore do not you tell me of the Course of the Court of King's Bench, if you know it, you know more than I know, or than the Judges know, when the course of the Court was Arbitrary, and out of Course.

But if it keeps its due course, and pretend to no Dispensing Power, in Abrog [...]ting the Laws of God, and Christ, and right Reason, I fear them nor, for I hope in God, that I shall never by preaching Truth, Transgress; but a Truth may be a Lybel, as one of the Lawyers urg'd in the said Tryal.

Yet the Learned Gentleman (notwithstanding his De Libel' famos) talk'd without Book and against Truth and Law, like an Oxford-Apotheca­ [...]y. For Truth being an Attribute and property Divine, (as light is of the Sun, and whence radiantly and virtually, all light proceeds) can never be any! art of the Constitution of a Libel Defamatory. And therefore all the St [...]tutes to which Scandalum Magnatum has any Reference, whether that of 3 Edw. 1.4. or those two of Richard 2d. Queen Mary. or Queen Eliza­abeth, are only against such as tell false Tales, or false News, whereby Dis­cord may arise, &c.

So that in the [...] place, nothing can be a Libel but what is false, and then it may be false, and yet no Libel. If it do not tend to Discord; and consequently, be malicious or Seditious; as to say a Noble Man is wet to th [...] Skin, came to his Country House, wore black-clothes, &c. all which may be fal [...]e, and yet no Lybel.

To say a Judge, or Justice gives false Judgment, though it be True, may be so circumstantiated, that it may be justly Punishable, as a Mis-behavi­our, but he shall not suffer by Law as a Lybeller, if it be apparently True.

To say, a Lord is ignorant of Latine, or as one said in the said Tryal, We are ignorant of Law-Latine; whether he said false or true, is no Lybel (though I had said it;) it may be false indeed, but no L [...]bel, because it tends not to Discord; but though it should tend to Discord, it is impossible to be a Libel, if it be true, though it may be sawey and unmannerly, be­cause we must not imagine that a Lord is ignorant of any thing; he must be an infallible Man in England, though the Italian Pope be not so acknow­ledged: (Wise doings the while!)

But the Learned Judge Sir J. Powel, then in the said Case, very ho­nesily and judiciously affirm'd it for a Law, that a Lybel must be false, false Tales; it is not else within the S [...]atures on which Scandalum Magna­tum is founded; and still the course of the Court varled from Law [...] never was the Punishment of a Libeller, or Honour-wounder a vecuniary Muict, but ('till K. James!) always the Body by Imprisonment, &c. re­payed, and repair'd Wounded-Honour; nay, by 1 and 2. Phil. & Mar. [Page 10]3 the greatest Scandalous W [...]rds against the King or Queen, were only Punished by B [...]dily Punishment, which a man might have bou [...]ht off, (whether the King would or no,) with too (not ready Money neither, the (Bill was not drawn upon him, upon fight thereof) bu [...] any time within a Moneth, (so tender were our Ancestors of undoing M [...] so [...]ill Words, even against the King; much more tender not to undo a Man and his House for a frall Word against a frail Subject, though a Lord. Honour, if it he [...]ase and D [...]eggs, is not Honour, and consequently, not wounded or hurt; but if it be true Honour, it is like the best Spirits. Airy and S [...]tri [...]ual, it can neither be Boug [...]t nor Sold; nor ever was it known in England, that so much as a Knighthood could be so base an Alloy, as that an [...]surer (or Scrivener, o [...] 10 l per Cent,) could purchase it, till the Poverty of Scotland, coupled with an empty Exchequer, and a King liberal to Prodigality to his Countrey-Men, was glad to make poor Shifts to earn a Penny; this for one, of making Honour so Mercenary, [...]hat some Gentlemen scorn'd to be Knights, whilst another rich Dame would give 1000 l. to be Lady Bar­onet, that so sh [...] might take [...]he W [...]ll of her Grand-Dame. But enough concerning Lybels. you'll find none here nor any thing struck at, but Sin and Folly; and neither of them are Ingredients in the Constitution of true Honour; except Honour can be M [...]das'd, as he Exce [...]fiastical Fellows do Sins turn a [...] they can touch to G [...]id, calling it by a Word they borrowed from Father Peter and Rome. Commuring, or Com [...]nutation of Penance; a Word that buys Perriwiggs at Doctor-Commons, as f [...]ly as it is.

And if any Expression of mine (in this D [...]scourse) seem too Airy some­times, for so grave and solemn a Subject, it is neither forc'd nor affected, Nature will have its Course.

But as it is easier to pick a Quarrel than to end it, so it is easier to find Fault than to m [...]nd [...]; and cannot a Man be sober, except he be sad? Nor Grave, except he be dull?

Nor have I permitted one W [...]rd to pass with more B [...]iskness of Air or Stile, then just what was necessary to keep m [...] Reader awake; and is not it as Pardonable (at least) as that dul Parenthesis. by some Preachers so often Inculcated. — (do no sleep there?) Which is the more Un­conscionable Start and State, wh [...]n he had rock'd them asleep before, with his heavy and drowz [...]e Lullab [...]e.

None can expect [...]hat my St [...]e should be smooth in the Sinewy and Ar­gumentative Part; it is not to be done.

But, be it as it may, it the Subject matter be solid and weighty, let my S [...]ile shift for it self; I am not fond on't, yet, blunt as it is, I will neither change it with thee, (D [...]owzie Mr. Phlegmatick!) Nor yet with thee, that [...] test Frowning and Centuring there, I see thee. Formal Mr. Hypochondriack!

The CHARACTER of a CEREMONY-MONGER.

CHAP. I. Concerning Bowing to the Altar, to the East.

THe Cringes and Bowings of the Papists to the Altar, is in Adoration of their wafer God that [...] there (they think) Enthron'd; and is (by the Homilies of the Church of England) frequently styled Idola [...]ry; and the Act of a Fool.

But the Cringes and Bowings of my Ceremony Monger to the Altar, to the East, whe [...] there is nothing, (he must confess whatever he has secret­ly [...] here (nei [...]her more nor better than what is in the W [...]ll, in the B [...]frey, or the Body of the Church; therefore some call him a Fool; but (like Merry Andrew) though he act like a Fool, he is more Knave than Fool; and though [...]ry Noddy pretends that he nods to nothing, yet the old Dotard does not play the Fool for nothing; but he is as well paid for playing the Coxcom▪ in his silly Superstition, as the best Merry An­drew of them all. For it is well known what an Influence Papists had in the three last [...]gns of B. Laud. the two Castiemains, and Father Peter; who not being able to bring in Popery, or a Bishop [...]llis into a Protestant Church, and Protestant Preferment; (the Laws Excluding such) there­fore they encour [...]ged any [...]ly Superstition that was a Quid pro Quo; and as like Popish Idolatry, as Twins of the same Womb.

Thus put [...]ing the Chang [...] upon us, and Engrossing a great many of the Protestant Preferments. Honours, and Privnedges to Fellows that were as like Papists, and our Churches, and Worship, Adorations and Cere­monies, as like Pop [...]sh Ceremonies; and our Paul's, as like St. Peter's, as one Egg is like another, to see to; though the Yolks within may per­haps show some little Distinction; and a Ceremonious Arminian is no right-down papist, for if he should, he could not be capable of his high Seat in a protestant Church; and therefore he will rather confess himself a F [...]ol in cringing like an Ass to nothing, than be turn'd out of Church and the Revenues thereof, by confessing that he bows to things Divine, Transubstantiated from a silly Wafer; and rather than lose his soft place in Church or Senace, he chooses rather to confess the soft place in his Head.

But if you take him really for a Fool, you mistake him vilely; (as I said before) this Ecclesiastical Mountebank is more knave than Fool, and bo [...]s for something; even when he bows to nothing, he gets Money by't, he gets Money by the Bargain, and thou [...]h he shake his Reverend Nodle, as if it was empty (by making Reverences to an empty place) yet he knows why and wherefore.

For though he seems to adore a Non-Entity, you are mistaken in my Man, for he there by adores his ch [...]efest God, (Mammon) And his ma­king foolish Legs to the Altar, like an Ass, was the ready Road to make Legs at Court, and be an Ecclesiastical Apuleian Golden Ass.

For as a Costerd-Monger gets his Living and Estate (often a great one) by vending Trifles and Trinkets of his own Purchase (as Perts, Plums or Apples) to that Improvement many times, that he makes Money (even) of his Rotten Ware.

So a Ceremony-Monger gets his living and Estate (a great one often­times) by Trifling Trinkets, and illegal (as well as) nonsensical Cere­monies in Religion, (or rather his own Superstition) of his own Purchase, or the Invention of his private Noddle; to that Improvement many times, that he grows great in the World, and in the Church; and makes Money (even) of hi [...] Rotten Ware, especially in bad times.

For this Ecclesiastical Quack (like other staging Empyricks) always gets most Money and Elieem; and both of them make the best Markets for their Impostures and Rotten Druggs in the sickliest and worst of times.

'Tis best, with these Stagers, when 'tis worst with all the rest of Man­kind: For it men be well to Health, and well in their Wits; both these Merry Andrews (that for Money make fools of themselves) may go whistle; they may shut up their Shops, and pull down their Stage.

Risum Teneatis? Amici! Come hold your sides, and look demurely if you can (for your very guts, and spleen) to see a grave Dignitory of the Church, with Tippet and Sattin Cap, a gaudy Cope and Hood (be­fore and behind) Nodding his Reverend Head, and making Reverences of humble, that his brisly Chin even kisses the ground (no Antick French Man, or Father Peter, can out vic the Complement) in an humble Ad­dress to the East, to the Altar, and where there is better something or nothing more than in the Belfry and in the West Catechize my Don, (for he has been twice a Child, Come! Ask him (I say) does his Ecclesiastical Don­ship bow and Cringe so supplely (notwithstanding his Age) to some­thing, or to nothing?

If he answers—To something; Then take him Father Dada, for he is thine, [...] him in the Service and Devotion of thy Water-God.

But if he reneages (because Papists are not capable of a Dignity in the Church of England) and i [...] forc'd to answer, that he bows to nothing; then beg him for a Fool, and his richer Dignities; take him Merry-An­drew, for he is thine: He is that ridiculous Stager that makes a Fool of himself, to pick up the Pence; and no little neither: For when Pope­ry will not, cannot get up to the top of the Steeple or Pinacle of the Temple, (where the Devil stood tempting our blessed Saviour with the World and the glory of it) my Ceremony Monger being possess'd, runs mad to be there: which since all the Avenues are stopt against Lord Bi­shop Goddard and bare fac'd Popery, my crafty Ceremony-Monger claps a vizard over the ugly bare face, and passe most religiously so one of the Order, and Reverendly with a M [...]que, does his Business, and perhaps gets a Mandate, —In a Mo [...]k Election of the Chapter, which in their Prayers for divine Assistance in the Election not only mock themselves, but which is infinitely worse, they mock the Almighty God too, when they pray him to direct them in the choice of a fit Man: when he is cho­sen before to their hands, and they neither can will nor chuse.

If you do not yet know my Ceremony-Monger, I'll tell you his Name.

His Name is Legion, for never was the Herd more numerous, or more possessed, since the Devil enter'd into the Herd of Swine; and made them run (like man) violently down hill, though they are like to perish in the Waters.

For this Ecclesiastical Hotspur (though he) has but a minute (Sober) share of Knowledge, yet he has Zeal like mad; And therefore never ad­mits any heartily into his spiritual Muster-Roll or Lift, but blind Confor­mists; that are presently Tall-Fellows, and preferr'd if they can, but rea­dily obey this one word of Command, Streighten your Files, Follow your File leader.

Thus, like Horses in a Team, they all Uniformly plod on together, most gravely and soberly (with Nose in his Leaders Hind [...]) and Showel-Hal [...]ers through thick and thin, at all adventures, minding nothing (they poor H [...]r [...]s!) but following the Fore Horse, though he go out of the way, as irregularly and illegally, as irrationally, falling into a Slough, but desperately bent, though not one of them know why, not wherefore; nor dare say, whether they cringe and bow to something, or nothing. For they are forc'd to whisper when they say, that they crings to nothing, least the Papists (that preferr them) should hear, and then they're sure to get nothing, therefore are forc'd to say nothing, yet nod to nothing.

If I were a Papist or Anthropo-Morphite, who believes that God fits Enthron'd in the East, like a grave Old King, I profess I would bow and crings as well as any Ecclesiastical Limber-ham of them all; and pay my Adoration to that one Point of the Compass, the East; but if Men be­lieve that the Holy one that Inhabits Eternity, is also Omnipresent, and in every place, why do they no [...] make Correspondent Ceremonies of Ado­ration to every Point of the Compass?

But I recant my Folly for asking a Ceremony-Monger an honest reason of his Cringes, who never (hitherto) could vouch his Supple him. Worship to the Altar, to the East, &c. except (as aforesaid) in Ado­ration of Mammon his God.

But I'll be Positive, and Dogmatical in nothing of this Nature; I'll forswear nothing but building of Churches, after I have first pull'd them down; as one did (a certain Chappel) in the memory of Man, because the Chancel stood East and by Nore a little sideling, whereas it should have stood better, dut East, that (with one Cringe) he might how to the Altar, and the East also; he was the wiser, for so he kills two Birds with one Stone; and one single bow (by this laborious Regulation) will serve to the Altar, and the East also; so to case his unweildly body, he punishes his Purse by Eccle [...]astical Policy, (called) Commutation; O the Wit of an Ecclesiastical Politician! But Fortuna favet fat—Fortune favours [...]t falks; a poor man might have been beggar'd by such a ven­ture, but the old D [...]tard (Mr. Superstitions Noddy was his Name,) made Stairs of the Chappel-Stones, and so got up to the Top of Pauls, But let the Ceremony monger by his [...]ppery grow never so great, he is paid in his own Coin, for in requital, his only Adorers are Women and [Page 14]Fops; or such as love any thing that is great, only because it is great: May they not by the same reason adore an Asses Head, with Flapping Luggs, for they also are great, very great.

Thus the Hog [...]n-Dutchman got Money, being carried about from Fair to Fair, amongst the [...]ops that admir'd his Brawny-Buik, the result of B [...]con and the Butter-Box.

The greatest Ingenuity of my Ceremony monger, is, that of an Ape, (viz.) Imitation or Mimickry) for the Monky has indeed something of the V [...]a [...]e and Resemblance of a Man, (and so has the Ceremony-mo [...]g­er's worship the Face of Religion and Devotion) but bo [...]h of them wants Reason, and therefore the more abominable, and of all Brutes, most o [...]lous to radonal Men:

Simia quam similis (turpissima Bestia) nobis?
Of Brutes, none are so lo [...]thsome as the Ape,
Wanting Man's Soul, he only has Man's Shape.

But such is the force of Mimickry amongst Fops, that it is far more ea­sie to make a cringing dancing Ass, than a dancing Horie in our Acade­my; but the Mischief is, there is so many of them, they are not a R [...]e-Show; they are so common, that it will not quit cost to carry them about, and show them at Sturbridge-Hair, or Bartholomew Fair.

Come, Friends! You shall see one of the Youngsters (the Foal of a cringing Ass,) for nothing.

Come to your Postures, Lad! Hold up thy Head, and in thy Chin, thy Breast out, and thy Belly in: Now, your Reverences; —well done; face about again, down. I say, close down—to the hast, to the Altar, &c. well done; there's hopes in thee, thou may'st come to be a tall Man in the Church, in time, if this Trade do but hold.

For my Ceremony monger is an Ecclesiastical Thomas Anello (or cor­ruptly and vulgarly) Masanello, a despicable Tool to look on, take him out of his Robes, as filly a Fisher as heart can wish; and yet he may grow great by as trivial Occasions, the scrambling for a little rotten Ware (Nuts and Apples) in Midsummer Moons, when the People run mad and are oppress'd.

But the worst is, This Beast of the People is soon abus'd, and soon dis­abus'd, and is seldom long and quietly (in England) bestrid (I will not say Priest-ridden) by Fops; they are apt as suddenly to play as Jade's T [...]k; and after they have Huzz [...]'d loud Hosanna's one day, soon af­ter ready enough upon a contrary Provocation, to cry, Crucifi [...]ite, Crucifi­gite.

Yet the Fool Masanello trusted to the unsteady Populace (which made him insolent and insufferable, Proud and morose) till the same Mouths that cry'd him up, soon after were ready to eat him; dragging at a Horses Tall, whom ten days before, they cry'd up to the Skies; they would have done the same to a Broom-staff, if it could but have stood them in stead, or could help to withstand the Gabels and Oppression; but the Fool thought that the people ador'd his (own) worth, which made the Fool insufferably petulant, and was his Ruine.

Yet (after all) now that I better bethink my self, and that seven years ago (in my Black Nonconformist) I did (in vain) wa [...]h this Ae­thiope, I'll even compound the Business with my Ceremony monger.

And because he has been many times a topping Ecclehastical Fellow, Proun and Stomachfull, Uncontrouiable and Wilful, right or wrong, he will l [...]ve his Will, his Suring, and his way, (let who will stand in his Way,) therefore since he says, he will still bow like a Fop to no­thing (for he dare not say the Wafer is there hid (slyly) under the Car­pet, nor yet that God is more there than every where; yet) I'll grant him a License upon two Conditions.

First, That he never shake his empty Noddle at the Altar, but when it is cover'd with a Cap (a Sottin Cap to chuse) the more decently to hide the soft place in his Head.

Secondly, That also then he hide the Popish Face of Adoration, by put­ting on a Protestant Vizor Masque, not only that his blushes be not vi­sible, (a Braz [...]n Face may do that) but to cover the Popish Physiogno­my, le [...] the undiscerning and superficial Judgments of the rude Vulgar, spy it and nothing else; (for they search not the [...] side) and consequent­ly handle him, as if he really were a popish Priest: his Cope, his Hood, his Surplice, his Cringing Worship, his Altar with Candles on it, (most Nonsensically unlighted too) his Bag [...]pipes o Organs, and in some places Viols & Viollos, singing Men, and singing B [...]s, & are all so very like Pope­ry, (and all but the Vestments illegal) that I protest when I came in 1660. first from beyond Sea to Pauls, and White Hall, I could scarce think my self to be in England, but in Spain or Portugal again, I saw so little Difference, but that their Service was in Latine, and ours in English; but less intelligeable and less Edifying, (for one half thereof) than Latine, by reason of the I [...]articulate Boatus and Braylog, whilst all the People read half the Psalms, with a N [...]se as confused, as the Rumbling Thunder (as I will prove more particularly by and by) that any man in the World that had seen High Mass beyond Sea, must say, That the contrivance of both was to keep people in Ignorance, the Mother of Devotion. Faith comes by Hearing, (saith the Scripture) but the Papist and Ceremo­ny monger, make as though it comes by Seeing, they are all for a Show, a vain show. And shall not those that sin before all, be rebuk'd before all? That all may learn, and all may be comforted?

But may some say to me perhaps, That I talk very boldly; why, do I? And do you th [...]k in your Conscience, that they do not sin more boldly.

There is a sinful Bishfulness (in being loth to reprove) as well as an Impudent Sin [...]e, and a Whores forehead: And shall a B [...] Ceremo­ny monger dare to transgress the Laws of God and Man, and Right and Reason; And is there not a man (amongst us all) that has Courage e­nough to antique him?

Let him Huff like a blasphemous Goliah, I fear him not; (if I were young and in my Prime (much less now, when there are so few Sands in the Hour glass of my Life yet to run out, by the Course of Nature; the greatest Wrath can precipitate but a few minutes; dye we must, and [Page 16]can any man dye or suffer in a better Quarrel, than in vindicating the Laws of God and the King, in spight of the Pope in Italy, or any other in his likeness.

CHAP. II. Of Implicite Faith.

THat man has neither Worth nor Honour in him, that does not truly love and honour a Person of Honour, and true Vertue and Worth; and so much the more, for the Grandeur; but to idolize a mee, Image, because a great and golden Image, and because (Neouchadne [...] Zar) the King set it up, what is it out Popery. Idolatry, or Flactery or Poppery? I know not how to absolve the Princes, in Dan. 3.3 the Governours, the Judges, the Treasurers, the Counsellors, (wise Fellows!) [...]nd the She­ [...]iffs, When they ador'd the Golden Image, which Nebuchadnezzar the King had set up, though I confess being sixty Cublts high, as high as the top of the Steeple, it made a great Figure in the World.

And what can my Ceremony-Monger say more for himself, than that great golden Image? Both of them have a great Face and Bulk, but want [...] for their standing, and are dumb and blind.

For my ceremony Monger in the Church (I am in good earnest and in sober sa [...]ness, telling a woful Truth, which has almost ruin'd our Church) does almost all his great Acts in the Church (like the Papists) by blind Devotion and implicite Faith.

Is there any to be admitted into the Sacred Function of Priesthood? (who ought to be apt and fit for so great, so Holy, and so Divine an Office; otherwise. The contempt of the Clergy, and a Contemptible Clergy, is the necessary and sad Consequence) yet this is hudled up by Implicite Faith in M [...]. Archdeacon, or some casic Deputy or Surrogate; The Bishop that Ordains is not obliged to know any thing of the matter; but goes upon Trust for all, in that great Work of Ordination, as you may see in the words of Ordination in the Common-Prayer Book? all is done (I said before) by Implicite Faith, as the Papists call it; but this more silly than Popery; for it is more rational to believe as the Church believes, than to believe as a silly Surrogate believes.

Is there a man to be thrown out of the Church? This is done by Impli­cite Faith too, in an casie Surrogate and Sell Soul R [...]gister, that perhaps has not paid the last payment for his place, and Money must be had; where­as the Bishop that signifies it, knows nothing of the Matter, nor of the Pro­ceedings or Proof; but by Implicite Faith in the Registers Certificavit, [...]s aforesaid; and then the Judges grant a Capias by Implicite Faith too in his hand, that knows nothing of the Matter, (neither) of his own knowledge.

Is not here fine doings the while, in the greatest of Church Works? The out and in, The in and out is all by an Implicite Faith, more irrational than that of the Papists.

Nay, the poor Parson of the Parish must neither will nor Choose, but must, in pain of the Law, Excommunicate, and deliver to Satan any bedy, that the Registers Hand and Seal marks out with an Anathema by meer Implicite Faith in Pope-Sell-Soul (the Register.) So when the De­vil [Page 17]and the Jaylor has worried him and tortured him (as they do suspect­ed Witches) ('till they confess) and he be willing to say or do any thing to get out of the Tormentor's Clutches, and the Excommunicated Person humble enough to open his Purse to Mr. Register; poor Parson must absolve him again, by the old and Implicite Faith in the Register.

In Confirmation too, all's done by Implicite Faith in the Parish-Priest; nay, usually not so well, but hand over head to all that kneels for it, though some of them to my knowledge, were never Baptized, nor can yet say the Creed so well as it is possible to teach a Parrot; nor understanding one Article thereof much better than a Parrot: Here's sine doings! And a rare Consti [...]ution to sight for, Tooth and Nalt, Swear and Forswear, by a blind Devotion and Implicite Faith, and scarce a man knows wherefore; But no Kettles make so great a Sound and Noise, as those that are empty.

But when men go out of God's Way, the further and faster they go, the further and faster they go astray.

The very Disciples of Christ (as well as Popish Priests and Cardinals) sell to Justling one another (even in the presence) for the place, the chief and uppermost; but our Lord told them, they behaved themselves more like worldly Princes than his Disciples; saying, It shall not be so amongst you.

Pride says, It shall be so; but will my Ceremony Monger on his Death­bed, and at the tremendous Judgement Seat, say so, as he does now; In spight of Christ and his Word? I am your humble Servant, says the Pope; nay, your Servants Servant, Servus Servorum, yet Lucifer himself is not prouder.

Dear Brother, says a Popish Bishop, in his Style to the rest of the Pres­byters, when at the same time he makes no more of them than a meer Pavement, in State to walk upon and trample; money too, the poorest Priest must give his Highness, though the Family at home want Bread: Nay, the poor Sheep must not bleat neither, but though clipt twice a year, like Sheep before Shearers, they must be dumb; so open they not the Mouth; yet I told the Outlandish Bishops seven years ago, of this un­conscionable Avarice to as little purpose, in my [...]aked Truth, saying, I have read that Pharaoh's Lean Kine eat up the Fat ones, but for the Fat to eat up the Lean, 'tis most unconscionable; have a care of Bare-bones, lest they stick in your Throat, or in your—'what shall I call thee?, Ecclesias­tical Greedy-gut! you'll never leave your Gormandizing, 'till you surfeit, I fear.

This is the true Reason of Implicite Faith in Italy, and England; Bi­shops gape more than they can swallow; in spight of that terrible Thun­der—Their Blood will I require at the Watchman's hand—They have Charge upon them, that no flesh alive can discharge; Bishops and Cu­ [...]ates, says the Common-Prayer, implying that we of the small Fry, are only Journey-men or Curates to the Bishops; well, with all my heart, the greater Charge lies heavy on his Soul.

No, (he may say) though I cannot be here and there too, yet I have Journey-men every where; I must by Implicite Faith believe my Journey­man, my Proctor, my Surrogate and my Register, but in requital, they also by Implicite Faith believe me.

Is not here rare doings? And all this Inconveniencie came at first only by Avarice and Arabition, which a whole Dincess and sometimes a D [...]anc­ry, and a rich Commundum added thereunto, could not glut; well, that's as to the Wages, if they were twice as big, one Man can make a shift to swallow, yea, but as for the Work, it is impossible to superintend, or Episcopiz [...], with one pale of eyes; then come (first) into the Church, im­plicite Faith in their Journey-Men, and of all Journey-Men, che [...]fly, the Arch-Deacon's called Oculi Episcoporum; there are but five Pair of such great Implicite Eyes in our D [...]ocess; and if they could see without spectacles, they would be the better Eves, I think: But the Prospect is too far, all over the Diocess for one Bishop to see or superintend; But who made that Prospect so large? Pa [...]ecia, a Parish, by our antient Canons, signifies a Diocess, and a [...] was no larger than a Parish, ' [...]ill Popish Avarice, and boundless Ambition taught Pluralities.

A good Bishop, if he keep in his Bounds, as the King's Commissioner (not sancying that he has or can have any New Spiritual Character, or greater Spiritual Character than of a Presbyter as appears by the Words of Ordi­nation of both of them) the same, the very same, in all Essential Points; only the King's Mandate or Commission, gives him an Ecclesiastical Cha­racter more than he had, and a Temporal Character by making him a Ba­ron of the Realm, with Lands and Honours annex [...]; and not one jot too much, if he make good use thereof, in Hospitallty, Charity, and somewhat too as an Umbrage against Contempt; the Wages are well enough bestow­ed if he be fit for the place, pions, prudent and learned; and he has as lawfull a Claim and Title to them, from his Predecessors, as other Lords or Corporations; and cannot without great Injustice, as well as dangerous President, be bereaved of them; who but a Fool will go about to remove Groundsells and Fundamental Constitutions?

But his Work is so great, and the necessary Qualifications so eminent and Extraordinary, that no one man is fit for so great a Charge; and those that are fitt [...]st, will scarcely accept it, the Temporal Honours and Re­wards are no Temptation to them.

For a Bishop ought not to ordain any, 'till he has first by his own Exami­nation and Knowledge, found their fitness for so great and holy a Work: Not trusting by Implicite Faith to Mr. Arch-Deacon, nor Mr. Deacon's Deputy.

And how can he with a safe Conscience, deliver a soul to the devil by an Anathema, when he knows nothing of the Nature of the Crime nor Prool? except by blind devotion or Implicite Faith in the Register and Surrogate, Mr. Necessity? so Men call him, Because he has no Law.

So that the grand Distempers of our Church, do all proceed from this Original Sin, radical in our Constitution; and no Art of Man can cure it, or save us from a Contemptible Clergy, and more despicable (as well as prophane) Discipline, but by applying Remedies to the very Constitution, which is neither incurable, nor hard to cure, if wise and willing Physi­tians do but use their skill.

When Boy-Popes and Boy-Bishops, or ignorant and unlearned Bishops by favour, Money or Friends, were advanc'd; they neither durst attempt [Page 19]to Examine a Scholar's fin [...]ess for the holy function, nor could do it, with­out betraying their own unfitness and ignorance; which begot Arch-Deacons, they served for Eyes to the blind, and at general Councils, usually for Mouths and Tongues, and Brains too: The Dotage of Bishop Alex­ander, brought Arch-Deacon Achanasius into the first Council of Nice, which brought him into Request, and when the old Mandled, into the Bishop­rick also of Alexandria.

But above all the Implicite Faith-Men, I ever read, have my Commen­dations remembred to the Pope, in the words of Cardinal Bellarmine, lib. 4 de Romano Pontifice, cap. 5. Si papa erraret praecipiendo vitia, vel prohiben­do virtutes, teneretur Ecclesia [...]redere vitia esse bona. & virtutes malas, nisi vellet cont [...]à Conscientiam peccaere: If the Pope err ( [...]hat's a buil [...] too, good Cardinal, as wise as you are) by Commanding Vice and prohibiting Virtue, yet the Church is bound to believe, That Vice is good, and Virtue evil; except the Church sin wilfully and against Conscience.

Even so; if a Bishop by Implicit Faith and Error O [...]d [...]in a vitious, or ignorant Person a Priest, or Bishop, and Madam Portsmouth, or Father Peter, help him to a Presentation or Mandate, (every thing may be done that has been done) or should Silence a vermous Preacher, yet the Pa­rish or Diocess must, (I say) must accept him for their Spiritual Shep­herd, Guide and Watchman; though he be never so blind a Guide, never so wolvish or cruel a Shepherd, never so dull and drowzy a Watchman or Reading-Don; or Copy-holding Plagiary; except they will be willful sin­ners; though he starve their Souls, they must feed him with the Tythe­sheaf, and the Tythe-pig.

He's not fit to be cail'd to the Bar, that can but just read his Breviat, though he tell the Judge he has notable Books in his Study, that argue the Case, and state it notably, but he carries them not about, never in his head.

Nor is he fit to be a Fellow in the Colledge of Physidans, because Galen and Hypocrates lies moulding in his Study, nor is he fit to be free of the Pulpit, that if his Sermon Book fall down out of his hand, must also come down as wise (a man) as when he went up; l [...] the Curtain fall down too, and the Play's at an end; good night, Parson.

But all Preachers have no: Memory nor Elocution and presence of Mind: No, no: But then, there's a good Thrasher, or a good Cobler spoyl'd, to make a bad Patson, a poor Transcriber, and dull Translator, whose Character next follows.

CHAP. III. Of the Reading-Dons of the Pulpit.

THis Ecclesiastical Sophister, is a true Son of the Church of England, (that ever was) and devoted to her Service, (as in Duty bound) for she gave him freely all the Devotion he has, namely, the Common-Prayer-Book and the Homilies: which are very good things to all, but to him a God, (a Creator) by which as a Church-man (though as lean and cadaverous as a Church-Mouse,) he lives and moves, and has his being.

But as true a Son of the Church as he is, yet he is a Bastard Divine, but made a Denizon Ecclesiastick, and free of the Church by the King, and (notwithstanding his spurious Original) Legitimated and made ca­pable of Succession in Church-Lands, Honours and Dignities, by Act of Parliament. viz. the Act of Uniformity In England; In England, (I say) for in the whole Protestant World, That Act has no Paralel, nor this fellow (I characteriz:) any Fellow in the whole Christian World, but such as himself; he is a None such all the World over, in all Church­es, except what he calls, (and he may well speak well of her) the most Incomparable Church of England; not only the Protestants all the world over, but the very Papists, nay, the very Stage-players would kick him out, the very Boys and Wenches there, nay, School-Boys, must say their Parts better, or they are sure to be whip'd for't.

Nay, the Stage Players would have no Customers (except they could get Penal Laws, and a Constable, A Jaylor and Apparitor, to drive them by Shoales to the Play House) if they should admit any such dull Tools and Actors, that could not say a Word without Book; but must read every Word they say, or else they are dumb: For, take away the Play-Book, or No [...]es, and they are mute as Fish; the Play is at an end, though you have paid your Money. (some small note indeed) or prompter the best may need sometimes, or some Breviate:) even so my Reading Don Ecclesi­astical is a noteless Fellow without his Notes, and worse than an Ass (for he can Bray without book) nay, worse than a Peacok; for he can yawl against Rain) but this Gay Fowl has nothing that speaks him divine, but his gay out [...].

The Propher Eztkiel calls him Dumb-Dog that cannot bark; meaning not that these Dumb Prophets or Dumb-dogs had no Tongue, and could make no barking Noise; but when he seeth the Sword or a Thief coming he giveth no warning, but being senceless and noteless, is therefore a dumb dog.

For he (poor Heart!) has his Lesion before him, there is his stint, like a Horse in a Mill; he cannot go out of the Track, if he does, he must leav [...] work: if the Notes drop out of the Pulpit, or the Candles go out, or the Spectacles fall down from his Nose, or a dark day, or any such woful disaster befal him, his busi [...]eis is done, he needs no Bishop to silence him; Come, Sir, you may (even) come down, out of the Pulpit, The Play is done.

N [...]y, his very Prayers to Alrighty God in the Pulpit, he is glad to read them too, except perhaps he has (like a Pariot) got a few words by [...]ote, which all the people of the Church can say as well as himself; for like a Turn-spit Dog in a Wheel, he keeps ado, but makes no Pro­gress.

For (alas! for Shame and Sorrow!) how should he speak to God, who is a Spirit, From his Heart or Spirit; or to the People's Hearts, that never had any Divinity in his Head or Heart: It is sufficient that he has It in the Book of Homilles, or in his Notes (stylo novo) of another Ser­mon book that is more in Yogue and [...], because more adapted to our present Language and Age [...]

Stole! said I, he'll bring his Action against me, of Scandalum magnatum perhaps; but I'll prevent him, for I recant.

He did not steal his Sermon, nor Sermon Notes, for they were his own upon a double account; First, because he lawfully bought and paid for the [...], six pence a piece; witness, the Book seller: Secondly, because all the Sermons in Print are dedicated to him: To the Reader—All—To the Reader, & sometimes, to Coaks him out of six pence. To the curteous Reader.

If Parents have a Ricketty Son, and crook'd legg'd, and Baker-knee'd; he'll serve to make a Parson, his Cassock will hide his Legs: Is the poor Child Pur-blind also? He'll serve to make a Parson say his Parents, If he have but Eye enough to spy Advent Sunday, the day of the Month, and the first and second Lessons for the day. Is he a half witted Lad? He'll serve poor Child, say his Parents, well enough for the Pulpi [...], if he but hold his Notes to his Pur-blind Eyes, it is but holding them the Closer, and the bunness is done; especially if his Parents or Friends scrape Acquaintance with a Patron, I know how, or buy [...] Advousion or the next Avoydance.

And then make room for the Parson, a true Son of the Church: Why do you smlle? It is too serious, too great, and too dismal a Truth and Mis­chief, to draw Tears from your Eyes by laughing; you have more cause to be weeping Jeremies, and make Lamentations at so mischievous a Constitu­tion of a Church, in making Watchmen that are blind and lame, and dumb, being ordained unto Holy Orders by blind Implicite Faith: which we all condemn in the Papists, but in the Church of England draw a new Scene: and it is received with Applause: Oh poor English! A foo­lish people and unwise, though the most Courageable and best Hearts, as well as the most plain hearted Nation under Heaven.

You think (now) that this is a Romance, and not literally true; well then, so let it go; 'Tis so much the fitter for this Character of a Ceremo­ny-monger, which is all a Romance.

A Romance! What's that? It comes from Roma, Rome, the Ground and Platform of the truest and best Histories of Truth; and the Scene of the greatest Acts the Sun ever saw.

And a Romance is as like a true Roman History, as my Ceremony-Mon­ger is like a Papist, he is not a Papist, (he says) no, he is not a bare-sac'd Papist, I'll do him right; but to see to, he is as like a Papist as ever he can look, and his Devotion as like Popery as ever it can look: He does not say the Mass indeed in Latine; but his Hood, his Cope, his Surplice, his Rocker, his Altar Rall'd in, his Candles, and Cushions, and Book there­on, his bowing to it, his bowing or rather Nodding at the name Jesu, his Organs, his Violins, his Singing Men, his Singing-Boys, with their Al­ternate Jabbering and Mouthings, (as Unintelligible as Latine-Service) and so very like Popery that I profess (when I came from beyond Sea, about the year 1660. to Pauls and White-Hall) I almost thought, at first blush, that I was, still, in Spain or Portugal; only the Candles on our Altars, most Non­sensically, stand unlighted, to signifie, what? The darkness of our Noddles, or to tempt the Chandlers to turo, down-right, Papists, as the more suit­able Religion for their Trade: for ours mocks them, seeds them with Hopes only, he gapes and stares to see the lucky Minute when the Candics [Page 22]should be lighted, but he is cheated, for they do not burn out in an Age.

But the Foppery is Homogeneal, all of a piece, foolish and illegal Cere­monies all over, only my Ceremony-monger has got Law of his side for his Surplice, and his Common-Prayers, which are both very good things, and though perhaps he may be perswaded to part with the former, if you take away the latter, viz. the Common-Prayer-Book, ye had is good cut out his Tongue; nay, even few up his Mou [...]h also; for he has no occasion, for it, nor for his Teeth neither, for his Body most starys, and be as clean and jejune as his Soul: Therefore, as you love his Life and Soul let him have his Common-prayer Book, or else his Curate will have no­thing in the World to do, but must be forc'd to turn Sexton; why should not the Dead bury the Dead? The dead in Sin, bury the Dead for Sin, to so liseless and spiritless a thing is Religion reduc'd by my Ceromony-Monger; nay, some of them in their pretended prayer before Sermon, do mock both God, and the people, praying, or pretending to pray as the mouth of the people in the pulpit and yet (like good Hannah's private prayer) their Lips only move, but their Voice is not heard.

Old Eli thought the good Woman was Drunk or a Fool, to talk to her self; but she designed only private prayer.

But certainly the Master of the Ceremonies, is either a Fop, or a Mad-man, or else takes all the People for a Fop of his own making, to have only a handsome gaze at the person, whilst he Acts his Mammery in the pulpit.

Why does the pulpit stand alost? But that the preacher should lift his Voice like a Trumpet, that all the Church may hear, or else what does he do there? The papists indeed do vindicate pictures in Churches, as being the Lay-man's History, though he know not a Letter in the Book, his Eyes may read by seeing a picture; and thus my Ceremony-monger brings up his Fops in Ignorance, and Ignorant Devotion; they know no­thing of the matter, and cannot say Amen, to they do not know what; It is no matter for that, for (just like popish Mass, called Secreta, which the priest mumbles to himself, so our Foppish Ceremony-monger that must be like a popish pri [...]st, or else perhaps he had never come to so high a pulpit, and place in the Church, he must mumble too his prayers, though in pulpit, to himself, because 'tis just as the popish priests do, that make as if the people need not pray, nor believe; the priest prays for them, and be­lieves for them; keep them blind, says the priest, and then you may lead them by the Nose, which way you please; O poor English Fops! To be fopt by an Old Fop, that is as much or more an Hypocritical Knave than a Fool.

And I am the more apt to believe it now, because the mumbling Hypo­crites, never mumbled so much, and so long in the pulpit-prayer before Sermon, as now a days in this Juncture and Revolution in the Kingdom, and change in the Throne; to pray for the Abdicated King, would be to own him and Popery with his Mouth, but he dare not do that, they have only his heart at present.

And to pray for their Sacred Majestle's, our Soveraign Lord and Lady, King William and Queen Mary, they are such Strangers to his Heart, that [Page]he chuses rather not to pray at all, in his own prayer before Sermon; or not at all to be heard, till such time, as it may be guess'd, he had done it to himself, talking (as they say Witches do) to himself in the Pulpit; most prophanely mocking God and the People, by pretending to speak, when he only mumbles with his Lips; for if his Voice be heard, the crafty Hypocrite thinks that some Body will tell (because the Tongue tells) who he is for: Where as now the Fox lies learing and lurching, to see which King will get the better, and then, (and not till then) he will declare himself, and in the Interim, his Ambo-dexter reserves himself; for he is true to no Interest, nor to any Religion, but that which most tends to the Advancement of his only God, Mammon, and his Curate only runs the Risque, in praying for King William, and Queen Mary.

In short, (for I am quite tired and sick of him) his Church-Work is just like his Church-Clock, moved extraneously, by outward Weights, Wheels, Springs or Plummets, but has no inward or spiritual Life or Motion; such is his prayers, such his Sermons, (though he have a Budget­full) Dead, Dull, spiritless, lifeless, frigid, and perfunctory Devotion; he never converts any Man, except to silly Ceremonses, Because himself is not converted to any thing; else his Words die before they reach the Heart of his Hearers, for how can they well come to the Heart of his Auditors, when they never came in, nor from his own Head nor Heart; he is the great Stock-Logg of the Church, that has neither Fire nor heat within, the little he has, is all out-side, superficial, and without; it takes up a great deal of Rome indeed, but 'tis good for nothing in the World, but the dung-hil; he is that Salt that has quite lost it's Savour, if over he had any, and good for nothing, but to be troden under Foot of Men; and relish'd by none but such as have lost their Taste, or never had any.

I'll tell you how you may be quit of this Ecclesiastical Copy-holder; all his Tenure and Title to the Pulplt is Copy-hold, get but his Notes, or his Copies from him, and the Pulpit will not hold him, he must come down and hire a Journey Man of more Skill, if any such can be had, for Money, so to debase himself to be Surrogate to a rich Fop, that with his silk Cassock, and Scarlet Hood runs away with the Galm, whilst poor Thred-bare Crape takes all the pains.

Yet, even these are scarce to be had for Love or Money; for the Cere­mony-monger has so polluted the Fountain of Learning the Universities, that where shall a man sooner meet with noysie Impudence, and gingling Nonsence, (a sounding Brass, and rinckling Cymbal) than in the two great St. Maries Pulpits in the Universitiis?

So that if God be not the more merciful, and Their Sacred Majesties the more careful of their Academies, the generality of the Clergy must be like the Scribes and Pharisees, in our Saviour's time, painted Sepulchres, Gay without, fine Ornaments without, but within, nothing but Rotten­ness and dead Men's Boues.

Just as we were in the Church of England (I remember) fifty years ago, in the Reign of that great Master of Ceremonies, little Doctor Laud, that did so discountenance lively and edifying Sermons, or almost any Ser­mons, that a Man must have travell'd for it, and far too, if he heard any [Page]thing but the Common prayer and Organs, above four times in a Year. In­deed, now there is to many Sermons in Print, that we have plenty in the Pulpit, though generally such discrepant, Heterogeneous, and Immetho­dical Stuff, as being compos'd of several printed Sermons, a patch here, and a patch there describ'd, that they are like a Beggars Coat, or a Tall­or's Cloak bag, made up of party-colour'd Lists and Parches, they are so dis-compos'd by the Plagiary, in wise Prudence, like a Thief that takes By-Roads, for fear of being known, pursued, sound out, and taken by the Hue and Cry.

Therefore this Plagiary Reader, conscious of Guilt, disguises all disco­very, if possible, like the crafty Hare that makes false Steps and Doubles in the Snow, when she is near her form, for fear of being track'd by her Steps, and Trac'd.

Thus this Chattering Jay has nothing good about him, but the Gay Fea­thers, his Carcase is worth nothing but to Dung the Land; so that the Church, you see, can breed Vermine as well as the Barn.

CHAP. IV. Of Reading of the Psalms, Te Deum, Althanasius's Creed, &c. Alternately, every other Verse, by the People.

THis is such another Nonsensical Ceremony, that it is Point-blank a­gainst Holy Scripture, as well as against Reason and edification; and neither Canon of the Church, nor Rubrick, or Rule in the Common-Prayer Book, to vouch it, and punishable therefore, by the Act of Uni­formity.

If so, then where is the Brains, you'l say, of all our Ceremony-Mongers? Where do you say? They are there where they always were, but never Consulted in any of these Illegal and silly Ceremonies, further then, whe­ther they are like Popish Ceremonies? That's the Test, that's the Testi­monial! that first gave them Entrance into a Protestant Church; and the Papists finely laugh at us, and deride us, for being their Apes as I have heard the Popish Friers beyond Sea Jear at us for the Mimickry grave En­glish Noddles, that have no other Reason not Religion for what they do, but that they are the Pope's Baboons, in spight of Holy Scripture, Right Reason, true Religion, and the Laws of the Kingdom.

This confused Noise of the People, is not Articulate, but an un-intelligi­ble and brutish Braying, one Man's Voice drowns the Accent and Articulati­on of another, and therefore is no more Intelligible than the Latine Mass, and I suppose that the best Reason that can be given for it, is, that it keeps the people ignorant, if they cannot read, of at least one half of the Psalms.

The next step may be, if this be suffered, that the people shall read one half of the Chapters two; and then though the vulgar cannot kept toge­ther from hearing the Scripture, they shall be debarr'd one half; in time, we may go further, we are just in the Popish Road, that debars the vul­gar from the whole Scriptures.

Read but the 1 Cor. 14.11.23, 26.31, 33. And if you fear God, you will never do so any more; Latin Prayers, or Prayers in an unknown Tongue, or an unintelligible Tongue also, are Prophesies or Preachments in [Page]an untelligible Tongue, by the Confusion of which, God is not the Author but the Devil, and the Pope invented these Contusions, by them to beget, the Mother of Popish and Ceremony Mongers Devotion, Ignorance. For saith St. Paul, in that 1 Cor. 14.11. If I know not the Voice, I shall be un­to him that speaketh a Barbarian, and he that speaketh shall be a Barba­rian unto me.

Here is a plain Scripture against this confused Noise, no man can know the meaning of a Voice that is not Articulate; But what cares a Ceremony. Monger for Scripture? Give him his God, give him his Mammon, give him his popish Mimickry; but whilst he makes himself a popish Ape, he makes dull Englishmen both Apes and Asses.

All the Reason that ever any of them can give for this profane Folly, is, that the Singing boys do it, and the great Heads do it, and therefore, the silly people, like the Papists say, must not we believe and practice as the Church believes and practises? meaning, by the Church, the Clergy, the rich, the great, and the gay Clergy.

And if this must be a Reason, why may we not as well believe and prac­tise, as doth the [...]ope of Rome, as well any old Innocent here at home.

We talk of h [...]ting Popery in Italy, we do well; but not a j [...] better for us, if we follow the same Implicit Faith in England, that the Italians do in Rome.

Thus the Prophets prophesie falsly, and the Priests bear Rule by their means; and my people love to have it so, and what will ye do in the end thereof?

Let all things be done to edifying, (saith the Apostle) and ye may all Prophesie, or read, for if Reading be not Preaching or Prophesing, we have abundance of dumb Prophets, if it be not a Bull, in England, 1 Cor. 14.31. Ye may all Prophesie, read or preach, one by one, that all may Learn, and all may be comforted; Implying evidently, that there can be no Learning, no comfort, no Edification in our confused and banling Superfuelon; which is just like the Gossips Chat, where all Tongues wag, and all are Preach­ers, and no Hearers.

Since therefore, God is not the Author of this Confusion, neither Law, Canon, Edification, Rubrick, Reason, Act of Uniformity, Religion, nor Scripture to [...]ouch it, but point blank against all these, tell me how it came here, except from the Devil and the Pope? Short Ejaculations, as Amen, Lord, have Mercy, or repeating after the Articulat Voice of the Minister, falls not under this Censure.

But, I wonder who taught the Women, whose chiefest Beauty is modest Silence, who taught them to prate in the Church? They are so full of Tongue, you'l say, that perhaps a little teaching would serve.

I never suffered such a confused babling in my Church of All-Saints, Let them play the fools, and popish Apishness, some where else, I never would permit them, at which abundance of people took Snuff, and be­cause they might not be superstitious Apes, they would not come there at all: a good riddance of them; they left the Room to their betters; for we want nothing there so much as Room.

Is there not some fear, least we all be beg'd? Beg'd? For what? for [Page 26]wise men? No; but to replenish the Colledge of Gotham; we are topping Fellows, if the Pinacles of the Temple stand in view; which is the way thither?

Are we not all as silly as that Cardinal, who says, Sit ergo Dominus noster papa baculus in aq [...]d fr [...]ctus, absit tamen ut crederem quod viderim: Let our Lord the pop [...]b a Staff, partly in the water, seeming crooked, yet God forbid that I should believe mine own eyes. Like Cardinal Bellarmin, who makes Ignorance, not Understanding, the Ground of Faith: Intending surely, that none out Coxcombs, priest-ridden should be of the Church.

This Ceremony monger carries one infallible Mark about him, you may know him from a thousand, for he sets such a Value and price upon his Il­legal Trinkets and Ceremonies, that if you take them, or offer to take them from him, he cryes out, and roars like mad Micah; Ye have taken away my gods which I made, and the Priests, and ye are gone away, and what have I more? And what is this that ye say unto me, what aileth thee? Would it not make a man bellow and cry, to lose the Diana's, by which he got his Wealth, and on which [...]o chiefly volues himself, because it made him a man of va­lue: and those that are his Favourites, on whom he puts the greatest Va­lue, That Trinket after him, in a blind, implicite, slavish Mimickry and Imitation; He that calls for a Reason, he is not a man for his turn, but sawcy, troublesome and petulant: Thus the blind lead the blind, have a care of the ditch there, just before you; you had better take warning than tumble in.

But, I fear, lapidi loquor, I wash a Black Moor, I doubt, yet I know no harm I do, if I do him no no good, if the Leopard will keep his Spots, I did not make them; he is Bedlam mad surely, why dost thou strike so fu­riously? I would but unshakle thee, and set thee free; or make thee set thy self free, by representing thy self to thy self.

For I'll assure thee, that in City and Countrey, good Master of the Cere­monies! thou hast not amongst rational men more Beholders than Ab­horrers.

Surely, thy Ascendant or Lord of the first House, was wonderfully cul­minant and strong, or else it is imposible that Irregularity and Folly could ever have been so notourly signified; If I can erect thy Scheme, I do prog­nosticat thou art in thy Detriment. Fall and Azimuth.

I confess, that amongst Dancing masters, Rop-dancers, Spanials and Monkeyes; he is the fairest Candidate for a Reward or Crust, that cringes, comes over, and bends the most nimbly; but that men by Illegal and Irra­tional Capricio's should cherish their hopes, so, to become Favourites in the Church, I do not understand it; if I were as supple as the best.

I can only say, as Cicero in his Declamation against Cataline, Vivunt? imó vivunt & in senatum veniunt; Oh tempora! Oh mores! It was a sad time, when Father Peter, or Madam Portsmouth chose Senators: and that a poor Lad should find it out, that the readiest Road, to get into the Church, or to the Steeple, and Pinacle, is to be like a young Setting-dog, that first learns to stoop, when he is bidden, to nothing; there's hopes of him, he's coming on, and may be a right Setting-dog in time, and stoop to something.

CHAP. V. Of Bowing at the Name of Jesu.

THere is but one of these said Irregular and Illegal and Irrational Cere­monies afore-mentioned, that have any colour of Law, and that is the Canon for bowing at the Name Jesu; but that Canon is nail'd by Scrip­ture and Reason, as well as by the Act of Uniformity, which enacts great Penalties, even Deprivation, if any Ceremony monger obstinately persist in the Practise of any Ceremonies, except those alone that are contained in the Common-Prayer-Bock; of which that same of bowing at the Name of Joshua or Jesu; and all their other Bowings and Cringes to the Altar, to the East, are none at all; I protest, I wonder at the Ceremony mongers Audacity and Fool-hardness, that he still dare to do it, in defiance of the Law, Reason and Scripture; except he think to set the Convocation-House over and above, and on the Top of the Parliament-House, where it will stand most Totteringly, and subject to the Storms.

Let no man therefore think this Discourse to be bold, or over-hold, hav­ing the Law of God and Man, Holy Scriptures, and right Reason on my side, and can therefore with such great Advantages baffle them all, won­der rather at my incorrigible Ceremony-monger, that will take no warning till he be forc'd publickly to recant the Schisms and Mischiefs his Noddle has forc'd in the Church of God.

The strength of his Mai-Guards, like that of Hell and Popery, lies all in stopping the several Avenues of Light, that none may enter into the Kingdom of Darkness, for they hate the Light, because their Deeds are Evil, and therefore would, if they could, keep the Keys of the Press doors, as well as the Pulpit doors, that no glimmering may appear without License. Thus the Devil Rages the more, because his time is short, and Frets and Fumes when you discover his Cloven-Foot, especially when he has long been ador'd, of which he is most Ambitious, as an Angel of Light: But, Blessed be God, that is above the Devil? Truth and Light are his Glorious Attributes, as Error and Darkness are the properties of Heil.

And if the Devil were not great in men, and greatly strong, they would submit to Law and Reason, to God and his Holy Writ, to the Laws of the Land. Equity and Conscience, and not call to the Bevil and the Goaler, to help them to wreek their Malice upon Innocent men, that only show them their dirty Faces in a Glass.

God's Will be done, I say with Chrysostome to Eudoxia the Empress, I fear nothing but Sin; and I must Sin, except I reprove my Brethren, and not suffer Sin upon them; for as they have Sinn'd before all, 'tis sit they should Recant before all; And so all of them will, except they be past shame, and consequently past Grace: When Sick Men are deadly Sick, and their whole Constitution so Distemper'd and out of Frame, that the very N [...]ble Parts are senseless, stupid, and past feeling, 'tis high time to Toll the Bell for them, they have not long to live.

Come, then, give Glory to God, Confess and Recant publickly in the Church, where thy Nonsense was committed, and defy the Devil and all his Works, the Pomps and Vanitles of this wicked World. Oh! but may [...]ome say, It cannot be deny'd, but that your Coremony-Monger is the [Page 28]Fop of all Fops, for bowing to the Altar, to the East, now his Wafer-God is departed; bu [...] have a care of condemning him when he bows at the Name of Jesu; for Holy Scripture, the Canon, and Right Reason, all three, are his Vouchers.

Poor heares! And, as Solomon says, Ye Fools! when will ye be wise? have not I wash [...] the [...] [...]aok [...]mor [...]s, and to as little purpose, long ago? For First, That [...] Philipptans the second At the Name of Jesu every knee shall bow, woether in Heaven or Earth, &c. is no Precept, but a Prophesie, That the time shall come, it is not yet come, that the Name of Jesus shall [...] above every Name, whether Barchochobab, the Jews Messias, in English, the Son of the Star; Mehomet, Antichrist, or any other.

The th [...]e is not yet come, for Jews, Tu [...]ks, Athlests and Devils, do no [...] own the Name of Jesus above every Name, whether in Heaven or Earth or Hell, or things under the Earth, but it shall come, (at least) at the day o [...] Judgment, and probably before.

Besides, That Text—At the Name of Jesus—is depraved, and ill [...] to say no worse, for if I did not revere to cast Dire upon the Ashe [...] of the Dead I could name a great Favourite-Bishop, under King Charles the [...] that made that Text speak false English, to Countenance his [...]illy and Fopplsh Warship from that Text; for because he could not bring himself and his Silly Worship to the Scripture, he as Impudently as Prophanely, brought the Scripture to his Whimsey.

Thus Mahomet pretending to have Faith to remove Mountains, told the People (his Followers and Musselmen) that he would make that great Mountain, that stood before him, to come down to him at his third Call, and therefore most gravely admonished it to come, Once, Twice, Thrice, but no Mountain would come, whereupon, without changing Countenance, he said, If the Hill will not come to Mahomet, Mahomet shall go to the Hi [...]l; and so marcht till they met.

For by that Holy Scripture [...] In the Name, is meant, In the vertue and power of J [...]us. Every [...] shall how. &c. (As the Name of the Lord is a st [...]on; Power, the Righteous shall run to it, and [...], Prov. 19.10. No [...] the Letters or sound of Je [...]ovah. not the Tetra­grammat [...]n, but the Power of God, is the Tower, not the four Letters, or Sound of the Name, whither the Righteous run and are safe.

Besides, my Ceremont-Monger does not bow at the Name of Joshua, which is the very word, Jesu. in all Languages: As Mat. 1.21. Thou shalt call his Name Jehoshua, Joshua, or Jesu, all one Hebrew word.

Besides, That Holy Text doth not say, in the, Name Joshua, but in the Name of Joshua [...] not [...]; but my Ceremony-Moneer does not bow at the proper Name of our [...] or Joshua, to wit, Emmanuel (or God with us, which [...] both his [...]ivinity and Humanity) nor at the found of the word Christ, Messiah, &c. but stands as unconcern'd, and as [...] as a Stake.

Besides, he does not how the Knee, but like the Papists, nods his Head, or puts off his Cap or Hat, as the Popish Jesuites do, when they Preach, every time they mention the word Jesu, if they do not forget, which they commonly do, and as commonly Sin, if that Foppery be a Duty.

Besides, That Text says, Every Knee shall bow in Heaven, and Earth, [Page 29]and under the Earth: but there are no Knees in Heaven, and those in Gra­ves, in the Earth, and under the Earth, are too stiff to how: Come, 'tis Nou sense and Ridiculous all over, and as a very Specimen of my Fop as any other.

For as there is no Scripture to Vouch for him, so no Reason: What, shal Christians be like that Hystaron Proteron Herb. which Physicians (as too­lishly) call Filius ante Patrem? The Son before the Father?

Do we well to blame the Arrians for placing the Father above the Son? Do we well to believe the Unity and Equality of the Holy Trinity? And yet do we bow at the Name of the Second, and not at the Name of the First and Third Person of the Holy Trinity.

Nay, Is Christ divided? do we pay more Reverence to the Name Joshua, (the N [...]me of my Foot Boy) then to the Holy Name of Jesu, namely, Messia, Christ, or Emmanuel? For shame! do not pretend a reason for such Foppish Adoration.

And, if neither Holy Writ, nor right R [...]ason be of thy side, Mr. Cere­mony-Monger, thy Canon will be noll'd by the Statutes, the Acts of Uni­form [...]y, that makes it very Penal, even deprivation ( [...]) for thee to fol­low thy Trade of making Coremor [...]es, which God never made, nor the King and Parliament, or right reason ever made.

Besides there are several [...] of Provisors, and then he incures also a Prem [...]ire, to set up the Mi [...]re above the Crown, the Bishop and Priest above the King, and the Convecation-house above westminster-hall.

And this Sawey and Priestly Petulaney, deriv'd from Rome, makes my Ceremony-monger many times very troublesome to the State, and to the Crown, which he will obey, like Thomas a Beck [...]t with a salvo honore Dei, that is, many times, as far as he list, and when he list, or in any thing that is for his own ends, and his own honour, nor a jot further; of which I shall give no late instances here, of those that could strain at a G [...]at, when against their Interest, though for, and against Gods glory, and yet could swal­low a Camel, if sent from that Court, if it would but advance their Domi­nion and sway, or at least not hinder it, witnesses their publishing in Churches, the Sports that may be used on the Lords Day, &c. when this Spirit possesses my Ceremony-monger, he is not only troublesome, but dangerous, and insufferable; which will make me repeat some o [...] my own Speech, Printed Anno 1681. p. 3.4. In Vindication of my Book called the naked Truth; though I am no Erastian, concerning the Keys, the the Keys of the Church; (which some said was true, but unseasonably urg'd; surely 'tis now seasonable, what was then said to the Arch-dea­con, viz.

And first like a Churchman (of the old stamp) he will permit his Ma­jesty to come into the Church (that's more kindness than old St. Ambrose, Bishop of Milan, would show sometimes to the great Emperour Theodosius, when he did not do as he would have him to do) nay, this Arch-deacon opens the doors himself, to let his Majesty into the Church, but he will nor trust him with the Keys; as who should say, we will open the Church doors to your Majesty; and come in and welcome, whilst we continue good friends.

But they that keep the Keys, and can open the Church-doors to let his Majesty in, can also (whilst we have the keeping of the Keys) upon dis­pleasure, lock him out: well, for this very trick, and for another late Scotch trick; it I were a Privy. Councellour, I would advise his Majesty, as Head of the Church, and the Governour thereof, to keep the Keys of the Church in his Pocket, or hang them under his Girdle; if it be but because this Prclatical Champion this same pitiful Arch-deacon, like another Pope, or Sr. Peter, w [...] keep the Keys of the Church, and will keep his Majesty from them, and we would f [...] perswade him, that our Laws, (to use his words p. 2. of the Proeme) Excludes the purely Spiritual Power of the Keys from the Supremacy of our Kings: except it be to see that Spi­ritual Men do their Duty the [...] Belike this same Arch-deacon carries the Leges Angi [...], the Laws of England in his belly, and greedy gut; for I am su [...] he carries the [...] [...] or no where, he carries not these bulky L [...]ws of England in his [...] no gues, in his brains. For, I pray, Good D D. where goes our Laws [...] [...]urely Spiritual Power of the Keys from the Soptemacy of our Kings. if our Kings, ( [...]ke good King David) or wh [...] King Soloman shou [...] have a mind to be [...]cclesia [...]tes

In the days (even) of Popery, I never heard of a King shut our even from the Topp [...]n-Pulpit, if he had a mind to climb so high; stone Henry the 3d. made [...] to [...] [...]he Pulpit, took his Text, Psal. 85.10. Righteousness and Peace have kiss d [...]each other; and then in his Sermon ad Cierum—to the Le [...]rned M [...]ks of the Cathedral Church of Winchester, when he had a little self end too (as some Pulpiteers have also had) in the case, namely, to C [...]jole the said Monks to Elect his Brother (Athel­mar) Bishop of Winchester; Paraphrasing and enlarging upon his Text, and saying, (to use his own words) [...] To me and other Kings, who are to govern the people, belongs the rigour of Judgment and Justice; to you (who are men of quiet and Religion) Peace and Tranquillity; And this day (I hear) you have for your own good, been savourable to my requ [...].’ With many such like words. I do not know whether the King had got a License to Preach—from a Bishop. It seems the Clergy (then too) would favour Kings, in what was for their own good, and if it were for their own good, would also permit the King to take a Text and preach in their Cathedral Church; how hard hearted, or strait-lac't soever our Archdean proves, and will not suffer our Kings to have the Keys neither of the Church nor Pulpit; I say, therefore, some Kings would therefore keep the Keys of the Church themselves, and trust never a D. D. of them all with them, no, not the Pope himself.

But what if I prove that our Kings at their Coronations, have at the same time been ordain'd Clergy-men, they are no more excluded (then) by our Laws from the power of the Keys, then Mr. Archdeen, or the Pope himself.

What is Ordination, but the ordering, designing or setting a Man a part to some office? if, to the Ministry, then there are certain significant Words to that purpose, and what more significant words for Ordination to the Priest-hood, or making a Man a Clergy man, than those the Bishops uses to our Kings, namely, with Unction, Anthems, Prayers and Imposition of Hands (as is usual in the Ordination of Priests) with the same Hymn,— [Page] come, Holy Ghost, Eternal God, &c. The Bishop, saying, also, amongst other things, Let him obtain favour of the people, like Aaron in the Tabernacle, Elisha in the water, Zacharias in the Temple, give him Peters Key of Di­scipline, and Pauls Doctrine.

Which last Clause was pretermitted (in times of Popery) from the Coronation of Hen. 6. till Charles 1. and Charles 2d.) lest it should imply the King to be more a Clergy man, and Ecclesiastical Person than these Arch­deacons could afford him; but our Gracious King Charles 2d. and his Fa­ther, at their Coronations, had the antients forms of crowning Kings re­viv'd, and in the Anointing, the Bishop said, Let those Hands be Anointed with Holy Oyl, as Kings and Prophets have been Anointed, and as Samuel, &c.

Then [...]he Arch-bishop and Dean of Westminster put the Coif on the King's Head, then put upon his Body the Surplice, saying this Prayer, O God, the King of Kings, and Lord of Lords, &c.

And surely (of old) the very Pope himself look't upon our Anointed Kings as Clergymen, else why did the Pope make Hen. 2, his Legate De Latere here in England, the usual office of the Archbishop of Canterbury (usually styled) Legati Nati?

Therefore, Mr. Arch-deacon, you talk like an unthinking Black-coat, stockt with a little superficial Learning, when you say, our Laws exclude the King from the Keys of the Church, to which he has as good right as your D. D. Divinity ship.

And (indeed) to give the Man his due, he is glad afterwards to con­fess, that Constantine, and the Eminent Christian Emperours called Coun­cels, and approv'd their Canons.

Then, by your leave, dear D. D. They also, for the same reason, might, upon occasion, and if they had seen cause, also disprove the same, who then was Papa of old? Pater Pa-trum? surely no other but he that is Pa­Pa, (I mean) Pa [...]ter Pa-triae.

All the Male-Administrations in Ecclesia stical Government, take their Rise and Original from our Ignorance of the Power of the Keys; or who are the Clavigers, Key-keepers, or Porters to let them in, and turn them out of the Church?

The bulky Clergyman called a Bishop, an Ordinary, or a Diocesian, he (we say) keeps the Church-Keys, he Excommunicats and Excludes Sin­ners out of the Church, and he alone receives them, and lets them in: (but that's false, the sneaking Register and Surrogate do that Job.)

Ay, But who entrusted a Bishop alon [...] to be the Church-Porter, Door­keeper, or Church-key-keeper? Where is his Commission, Where is his Authority, and who gave him this Authority?

For it is evident in Holy Scripture, that God never gave him any such Commission, Place, Office or Authority to keep the Keys of the Church, any more than the Speaker of the House of Commons, or Chair-man to a Committee, has power to turn out of the House, or let in any of his Fel­low-Members; For does a Bishop differ from another Presbyter, more than the Chair-man from the rest of the Committee, or he that gives the Rule of the Court at Session, differ from the rest of his Brethren and Fel­low-Justices, he is no better man, nor the more learned, wise nor more honest a man, though he be Ordain'd to be the mouth of them (that's all) to [Page]to speak what they put into his Mouth: The Speaker takes too much upon him, to speak the Sense of the House 'till the Majority of Votes has given him Instructions and Commissions to pronounce a Sentence, or the Sense of the House, or to turn any Member out of the House of Commons; he has no such Authority, he is the Speaker (indeed) and is look't upon as the wisest and fittest Man for that place [it should be so, it is not always so] one or other of the Members must be chosen Speaker or Chairman, and have precedency, for Order [...]salte, and to avoid confusion; but he no otherwayes differs from other Members, except only that the Honourable Speaker, is the Honourable Mouth, that's all, after the Members have chosen and ordain'd him, and the King has confirm'd him: Even so a Bi­shop has no new Character confer'd upon him more then when he was but a Presbyter or Elder, save only the Kings Ordination, or Mandate or Conge d' Estire. The E [...]ction of the Dean and Chapter is a mee [...] mockery, as aforesaid, besides the playing with the Edge [...]ools, and mocking of God. Bishops and presbyters used to be chosen just as Parliament Men are chos­en, by the Majority of the Vows of the people, as shall be more particular­ly proved in the [...], in the Chapters concerning Bishops and Or­dination. Thus Paul and Barnabas were chosen and ordain'd by the whole Church; Acts 13.3 Perhaps the chief Church-members laid their Hands upon, or ordain'd the Ministers, Missioners or Messengers of the Church, but the worst Member had as much power and vertue to ordain a Messen­ger, Elder, or Bishop, as the best Bishop or presbyter, if the Majority of Votes had ordain'd and so appointed, as is clear from Scripture, and the practise of the primitive Church, and shall be more particularly insisted upon in the Conclusion of the Chapter of Ordination.

Ordination? What is it more then chusing, approving or setting a Man a part for an Office, to do business relating to this life or a better? I will not say, in Church or State, or as a Clergy-man or Lay-man; for these are idle, ungrounded, vain and odious names of distinction, where God and Holy Scripture never made any such distinction, and has not only con­founded our notions of things but has been, and yet is the cause of most of our Confusions, in, what Men mischievously distinguish and call Church and State; which are not two things, nor two distinct Bodies, if you make them so, you must make two Kings, and two distinct Heads to these distinct Bodies, and that is one too much.

And if you make a Clergy-man and a Lay-man, two distinct sorts of per­sons, you make a Man that God never made; And, if so! Then Clergy­man! [I must Catechize you,] Who made you so? God? It is false; For God in Holy Scripture does not call the Preachers, but the Hearers, not the Bishops, Presbyters, and Minister's the Clergy, but the Hearers and Flock are God's Clergy, 1 Pet. 5.1, 2, 3.

The Presbyters which are amongst you, I exhort, who am also a Pres­byter, or Elder, or Elderman, or Grand Senior; no greater name can well be given. St. Peter was a Presbyter, can there be a greater Disciple of Christ? And the Presbyters to whom he preach't, and were under him are the same with Bishops, and those Presbyters also to whom St. Paul preach't at Ephesus, and are called Presbyters in one verse, are called Bi­shops [Page]in another, and their Auditors or Flock are called (the Clergy or) God's Heritage, 1 Pet. 5.3.

How came Cassock men, and Lawne-sleev'd-men, (first) to make an Impropriation of this Word (Clergy or God's Heritage) to themselves forsooth?

I'le tell you: First, it is clear that in all the Holy Scriptures this word (Clergy or God's Heritage) is never mentioned except in this place, 1 P [...]t. 5.3.

Secondly, It is as clear that the word Clergy, or Gods Lo [...], belongs as much at least to the Layety, (as they call them in scorne) if not more than to Presbyters, or Bishops, or Pastors, who by another proud word too call themselves Divines, for distinction sake from the Flock, just as they have rob'd the Layety of their good name Clergy, which by God was given to the Layety in Holy Writ.

Thirdly, When the Pope and Bishops made Encroachments and Usur­pations upon the Princes and Emperours, taking their Dominions into the Church, and St. Peters Patrimony, then, the Pope and Bishops feeling their own strength, that they had strength enough of themselves (as a distinct Body) to go alone; then they set up for themselves, and made a new and distinct Corporation in the World, called The Church, The Clergy, The Clergy, The Lords Spiritual, which is (a Title absolutely and by Name) forbidden as a prophane Name, 1 Pet. 5.3. and also in the very next words in the same Verse, they are forbid to Rob the people of the good Name (of Clergy or God's Heritage) because God gave the Flock that Name, and Peter charg'd the Bishops, as our Saviour did be­fore, that they should not be Lords, nor Domineer, nor exercise Lordship, as the Princes of the Gentiles do: For, there was no such di­stinction, nor prophane Names of distinction, as Clergy and Layety, Spiritual Lords and Temporal Lords, there was but one sort of Clergy, the Flock; and but one sort of Lords (Temporal) The Princes, or Temporal Lords; for it is a Jesuitical Tenet (which we practice, and an old Popish Tenet and Errour) in making Dominion to be Founded in Grace; or to talk of Spiritual Lordship, quatenus Spiritual Men, or Apostles: for it is totidem Verbis, and by Name forbidden the A­postles.

I grant, that a more Honourable Office or Officer cannot be in Nature, than a good Presbyter, or Bishop; nor can that Holy and Spiritual Office be more debauch't and prophan'd than by making steps of Divinity to mount over all Humanity; This is to Rancounter and Ruffle the whole course of Nature; and make Heaven, a pair of Stairs (whither go you so fast?) To Hell, To Hell? And the Devil, by the Pomps and Vanities of this wicked world? (contrary to that (pretended) Vow in Baptism; of which a Bishop (one would think) should make a Conscience.

Thou (that sayst) a Man should not Steal, (saith Paul) dost thou Steal and Filch M [...]ns good Names, that God hath given them, (the Cler­gy, the Church) and appropriates them to thy self and thy Coat? [...]le for shame, this is a proud and covetous Encroachment, (taking in the Common, by wicked Inclosures) forsake the Devil and the Pope, the [Page 34]Pomp [...] and Vanities of this Wicked World. In the Conclusion, (I'le tell thee) what Bishop; were in the purest and Primitive Times, and how much now they are unlike what they ought to be, if they have any Con­science or Reason in them; but if not, they are sit for any thing rather than Bishops.

Which Honour of Bishop or Presbyter, (for they are all one, or little or no difference [...]saith C [...]sosteme ( [...] [...] in Tim.) very little, no more than ( [...]) betwixt the Honourable Speak­er of the House of Commons and the Honourable Members, no more, if so much: But this Honour no Man taketh of himself, but he that is called of God, as was Aaron? where note by the way, that he that is called by the Church, is said to be called by God, or the Holy Ghost; as Acts 13.2, 3. But how was Aaron called of God? By being Ordained High-Priest: Who Ordain'd him? The Captain, the Lay-man (as you call him,) the Prince, by Name, Moses.

And why may not Moses, or any King or Prince, Preach (in his own Person, and Administer the Church Keys in his own Person) as well as Ordain a Deputy, or Deputies, called Aaron's, if he be a Member, as surely, the Head is the chiefest Member?

A King Preach! You'le say, that would be worth the hearing: Yea, so it is; and does not his Sacred Majesty now Preach publickly once a Week (more or less) as occasion serves? What, in the Pulpit, as the other King Henry aforesaid? What matter is that? Whether in the Pulpit, or the Throne, or the Chair, or the Church, or the Banqueting-House, or Parliament-house? The place alters not the Sermon, or Speech?

But, he does not Preach an Hour by the Glass: No, but Preaches more Divinity, Wisdom and Sence in a Minute, than the best of them do in an Hour, that I can Hear, and Preaches oftener than the Arch-bishop: It is a Thousand times more skill to speak much in sew words, than to talk Impertinently a whole Hour. Oh! but Preaching is not the Arch-bi­shop's Province, but ruling. I thought that Ruling had been only the Kings Province. Yea, the Arch-bishop is Deputed by the King, and Commissionated for the Work.

I am glad to hear it; he should be so Deputed and Commissionated, a [...] other Judges are; but he that gives a Deputation, may upon Male-admini­stration take it away; and if either Arch Bishop, Bishop, or other Pre­late of them all, pretend jus Divinum for that prelacy; it is not only false, but they incurr all of them a Premunire, by the Statutes of Pro­visor [...]s, made even in popish times, against those bold Intruders and U­surpers upon the Throne; nay, nay, If the Rook or the Bishop can Check-mate the King, (put them all together in a Bag) the Game is at an end.

What's the matter with these People, that do not know themselves? If they do not, they must be made to know themselves; wherefore else do I bestow all this pains upon them?

St. Peter, after he was an Apostle (are these Men more) was a Lay­man, so were all the Apostles, even the 13th too, St. Paul: Peter said, Lo! I go a Fishing; we also (quoth they) will go with thee? Did they [Page 35]throw their nets with their Cassocks on? Or did St. Paul Weave Tent in his Gown? If not, what Flesh alive would have taken them for Clergy men, more than other Fisher-men or Weavers, as we foolishly and falsely accept and use the Word, Clergy-man?

In the Old Testament, Eli, Samuel, &c. were no more Ministers than Magistrats, no more Priests than Judges; nor David any more a Pro­phet than a Captain or King? nor Solomon the Wise any more a King, than a Preacher, (or Ecclesia [...].)

In the New Testament, Annas, and Cajaphas were Judges and Priests also; whether were they Lay-men then or Clergy-men? The priest sat Judge upon the Bench, and the Judge Preacht, or gave the Charge, Yea, but not in the Pulpit, and the Church: What then? does that make the least difference? He is not fit for the Pulpit, that understands not the Law of the Land and Nations (where he preaches) nor is he fit for the [...]ench, that cannot Preach Gospel from thence, as well as from the Pulpit: Caesar was [...]ontifex Maximus, Chief Priest, and chief General or Emperour.

Amongst the Jews, the Scribes and Lawyers were Judges on the Bench, and Preachers in the Synagogues also; In all Nations it is generally so, in T [...]ky they have no Judges but their Preachers; nay, our Bishops rule not the Church otherwise than by Lay-Elders, (the worst that ever were) [...]un [...]ers, Registers, Scribes, Notaries, Canonists, Officials, Vica [...]generals, Chancellours, Commissaries, and that Ecclesiastical Crew at Doctor's Commons; never was Church in the World [...]o Disciplin'd: What Repentance? What Penance? The purse is punish't, That pays the Reckoning! Oh brave Church! Oh! brave Keys of the Church! Fine Golden Keys, and Dainty Gay Porters, Door-keepers, Key-keepers, or Ciaviger's! In the first four Hundred Years after Christ (till [...]ishops, and (afterwards) The Pope, made such encroachments upon the Layety (as ignorant persons, so esteem'd, so called, and so treated) never was any Man let in to the Church till approved: By who? By the Bishop? No, by the whole Church. Nay, St. Austin, after he was Thirty Years of Age continued a Probationer or Catechumenist, before he could get Admittance into the Church, as a Church-member, Attended at the Door and waited (as he confesses in his Book of Confessions and Rec [...]a­tions) Three or Four Years; and then, most Votes of the House carried it, not Mr. Speaker's alone, as with us; nay, The Speaker, or Bishop, or Arch-bishop, knows nothing of the matter with us, but leaves all by implicite Faith, to Registers, &c. Was ever any Church of Christ un­der the Copes of Heaven Govern'd at this loose, filly, and perfunctory rare?

The Papists have much the better on't, for every Priest Rules (as well as) Feeds, uses both Doctrine and Discipline (of Confession and Pe­nance) but the great Diocesan Bishops permit no such matter to prote­stant presbyters? And why? are not they fitter than Sel-soul Registers, Sumners, Officials? Yes, much fitter; but then people would say that the great Archbishop, that preaches little or nothing of Doctrine, or Bishops that preach no better (if so well and so often) as when they [Page 36]were Presbyters only, are good for nothing more than common Parsons, except for ruling the Church? And how do they rule? by Implicite Faith in the Black-guard, at Doctor's Commons: Bless us! What Discipline is here? For above three hundred years after Christ, the peoples Vote or­dain'd, and where the only Clavigers, porters and Key-keepers, to let them in, and turn them out of the Church.

So that the King who is Father of the Countrey, is Father also of the Fathers Ecclesiastical (as well as Temporal) whether they know it or no.

And if I were of Council with or for the Bishops, I would perswade them to alter their popish-like Style, in sending Process and keeping Courts in their own names, contrary to the express words of the Statute of Edw. 6. in that Case made and provided; as I have proved (as yet unanswe­rably) in my Book called The Test, seven years ago, have a Care of a Praemunire: A blot is not a blot till it be hit, but if it chance to be hit, the Game is at an end.

Let them not strive to be Independent; are they Subjects in Spirituals, as well as Temporals? If Subjects, then act in the King's name, as other Commissioners do, who are authorised by him; but if they dare pre­tend to a Jurisdiction, Episcopal, Jure divino, more than a Presbyter, have a care of the Statute of provisors; as aforesaid.

But some Men scar nothing, till it fall as heavy as Inevitably; Do we blame Arbitrary power in a King, and allow it in a Bishop? Or, would any Bishop, that knows what true Canonical obedience is, write in that Magisterial and Apostolical style with Saint Paul, when perhaps the busi­ness is a mee [...] wanton or trivial Injunction, I might enjoyn you on your Canonical obedience, but for love sake I rather beseech you. We owe o­bedience to Bishops, and Judges, and Kings, alike in this, namely, to obey them in licitis & honestis, in all lawful and honest things: Loyal­ty is Legality, if I be legal, I am loyal: Cononical obedience, say all the Canonists, is obedientia secundum Canonem: If Bishop's, whom I reverence and respect heartily as the Kings Commissioners, so that they do not ex­ceed and transgress their commission, should command me to say twenty pater Nosters every day before breakfast; it is mandatum honestum but not licitum▪ quia lex non jubet: It is a good thing, but I am not obliged to do every good thing, no, nor, sometimes, not obliged to do the best thing: He that marries does well, but he that keeps his Virginity does better; If I do well, when I marry, let the Fryars or Nuns do better that like, and if my Bishop command me not to Marry, which is an ho­nest command, but not a legal command, but an arbitrary, lustful, impe­rious, Tyr [...]annical command, for which the Bishop has no Warrant and he talks without Book, which is more perhaps than he can do in the pul­pit, when he prates of his power to command, yet for love's sake he ra­ther beseeches; let him first learn to obey the Word, and to understand the mischief of Impositions, poor Heart! Before he come to give a Magi­sterial and Dogmatical Command, and to his Reverend Brethren, so, In complement he calls them, but uses them perhaps like Slaves that must do his bidding with Cap in Hand! let him command his Servants and go [Page 37]himself, I am his Reverend Brother if he do not speak against his consci­ence; mentire est, contra mentem ire; like the pope who is the greatest Tyrant under Heaven, enslaving Souls and consciences, as well as J [...]ling their Bodies till they be Carcases; yet his stile is, Servus Servorum, Ser­vant and Reverend Brother; but I hate the Hypocrisy and dissimulation; It looks like Joab's complement to Abner, Art thou in Health my Bro­ther? And then stabs him: Go Judas! Mind the Bag, mind thy God, Mammon; mind the bagg, and keep your popish Complement— Dear Brother—to your self, till you use him in respect as a Brother: comest thou to betray the Son of Man with a Kiss? Thou Hypocritical Judas! can any Man look into our Chronicles and not see the insufferable Arro­gance of priests, in the Reign of popery, and since also, in the Reign of the popish like Ceremony-monger.

What a Slave to priest-craft was stout King William the Conquerour, when Aldred Arch-bishop of York requir'd a Boon of him, which the King was so bold as to deny; whereupon the Arch-priest curst him and flung a­way, in a rage, out of the Room; The King kneel'd and said, he would never rise till the Arch-Bishop would come and absolve him: The Courtiers begg'd, for they durst not, lay hold on his Laun sleeves, nor lay violent Hands upon a Clerk, but with much adoe and much humble In­tercession, they perswaded him at length to return, and to forgi [...] th [...] poor kneeling King and humble penitent; No, quoth the Bishop, let him Kneel, that he may know what it is to vex St. peter and me; at length the King granting the Business, a Money matter, the Arch-bi [...]hop did loose him, absolve him, and bid him rise.

The King in all other things was wise enough, but being bigotted by priest-craft, and priest-ridden, he was craz'd with a foolish Notion and Superstition; Nay, he would not fight, nor inv [...]de England, till the pope gave him his benediction; a B [...]nner with a Wafer-God inclosed in a Golden-crucifix, and also one of the Hairs that once came from St. Pe­ters Head. People can scarce imagine, the Imperious force of a silly Cere­mony and Superstition, even amongst Men, otherwise, wise even, at this day, amongst us, meerly by blind Devotion and Implicite-Faith in a filly Ceremony-monger, because, like as I said before, the filly Image, and unthinking Black Coat, makes a great Figure in the Church, and which Nebuchadnezzar the King had ser up.

But if they pretend that Jus divinum is the necessary attribute of Lawn Sleeves, and that all the little things he commands, are Law and Gospel; God help his Noddle, and keep him from a praemunire.

A Bishop may possibly be a good Man, and a good Schollar, though made when popery Influenc'd the Throne; and some of them made so, for the unlikeliest Merits that ever advanc'd a poor heart.

But, if he were not a good Schollar, a good preacher, or a good Lin­guist before; It is not probable that the Conge De [...]slyer, let it be got how it will, can Improve either his parts or his Learning.

The King's Mandate can make a Man a Bishop, or Lord a Barronet; but all the Kings Mandates in Christendom cannot make him a better Schollar; a better Man, or a better Linguist; this I can demonstrate, by [Page 38]my own Knowledge, Acquaintance and Experience, that they that knew not Syriack, Arabick, nor Hebrew (before they got the Conge-deslier) are as igu [...]tant, and unlearned Linguists as they were when they only were [...] not a jo [...] the [...]ore improv'd by the Kings Mandate, in any Knowledge, except that of their great now Rents; nay without a Miracle, their bu [...] Employments from the Parliament-house to the Council-board, or to [...]rmations or Visitations, must hinder their learned Studies: For Law [...] Sleeves cannot make I man a Linguist, th [...] was none before; pan [...]s pretend (I know not what, nor they neither) Episcopal Cha­racter, but a young Bishop, a Novice-Bishop, a Boy-Bishop, and un­learned Bishop; is a B [...]y, a Novice [...]till, his Bishoprick cannot make him more Learned, though it may make him more Right R [...]verend (I grant) then he was when but an ordinary Presbyter.

In short, This Ceremony-monger is that Cumbersome Baggage that Pe­sters the [...]hip of the church in a Calm, and helps to sink it in a Storm; but what Cares he? Let the Church or State sink or Swim, so he can but save his own Cargo and himself, in the Long-Boar.

Nay, like an uoruly Beast, when he has drunk his fill, he blunders, and puddles the Fountain with his Fect, that so the Streams may be muddy; this makes a Lean and Cadaverous Clergy, the whole Protestant World cannot sample such a jejune Crew; he does well to stand up for pen [...] Laws, and to bring Men with a Constable and a Warrant (into his Church) to hear him read his Plagiary No [...]es, or else he might read them to the Walls and his Sexton, (being conscious to himself of his own Emptines [...] and Demerit) for they must be very hungry that without force and constraint feed on lean Carrion, and cold Cramb's.

Therefore he Caresses, and Hugs a Patron that has a good Living in his Gift; he is his Man of Mettal.

I have read an Oration in praise of Judas; I am apt to think a Cere­mony-monger made it, because he admires any Man that carries the Bag; and in his heart loves Popery, because (like him) it makes Money of its God, and yet hates plain down right Popery in England, because it in capacitates a Church-man, and is inconsistent with a Dignatory Ecclesiasti­cal: For though he be of no Religion in good earnest, yet I'le trust him for a sure Stake against baresac'd Popery; whilst the current of the Laws of Preserment runs strong against it: He'll never kiss the Pops Toe, (I'll warrant you) whilst he lives in hopes to make Men kiss his own Golden Slippers.

Thus my Ceremony-monger loves Religion and God too, as the Lyons and other Beasts of the Wilderness love him, who seek their Meat from God, Psal. 104.21.

Nay, he can fast and pray too, and keep Thanksgiving days (as the State calls) in show, but in his heart is as Hypocritical therein, as the Emperour Charles the 5th. Who Ordain'd publick Prayers and Fasts to be made to God throughout his many Dominions, for the deliverance of Pope Clement the 7th from Captivity, when he himself had taken his poor Holiness Prisoner, and kept him Captive in the Castle of St. Angel [...] in Rome.

Thus Mocking God (as the Dean and Chapter does in choice of a Bi­shop (as aforesaid) after they have received the Kings Mandate to choose N. N.) and begging the a [...]ce of the Holy Ghost in their Election of a fit Man to that holy Office, when they knew well enough their Man be­fare hand, fit or unf [...]hcy can neither will nor chuse; th [...] (like Ephraim Hos. 11.12.) compassing God about with [...], and the House of Israel with deceit.

Thus the crafty Fox (the Emperour Tiberius) Mockt Heaven by Com­manding Common prayers should be said throughout the whole Empire for his safe Conduct in a Progress he never intended to make, pro itu & reditu (says Suetonius) supplicationes indixit cum non intenderet.

Thus the Ceremony-monger is always crying up the Church, the Church, (meaning himself and such as himself) for whatsoever a doe he makes about Establishing the Church, ' [...]is the wages (it brings him) which makes him bustle, like King Hiram's Servants in hewing Timber to build a Temple for that God which they never knew nor cared for, being a lo­ver of his own Will-Worship, his own Will and pleasure, more than a lo­ver of God.

Uniformity he cries, and one Mouth; meaning his own; for with his Mouth he shews much love, but his [...]eart (like Ez [...]ki [...]ls Auditors) goeth after his Covetousuess:

Yet as Covetous as he is, he will sometimes be as liberal as a Prince, to propagate, maintain and uphold that single and paramount Vertue of his Foppish and illegal Ceremonies: and therefore at the Choice of Par­liament men, what pains and cost does he lavish in making Parties for such men as are most like himself, and such as he thinks will keep up the out-side of the Church, how little soever of true Devotion is within; being Zealous for Faith, and perhaps true Faith in his head, though he banishes Charity by a Penal Law: Good or bad, are but empty Names with him, and things indifferent. Is he a Ceremony monger? That's his Test by which he tries all Mens Religion and Devotion.

Like the Prince of darkness, he hates the very Sun in the Firmament, if it discover his dark abode.

This Eccle [...]cal Fop espouses Religion (as other Fops Marry) only for the fair F [...], Portion, and gaudy Dress; and may be a Son of God notwithstanding, (I mean) in that Sence the Scriptures called the Old Gyants, the [...]ns of God, that seeing the Daughters of Men, that they were fair, took them Wives of all, which they chose meerly for the Skin deep perfection;) Eyeing nothing of inward goodness, nor the Beauties of the mind: for both of them are Carnally-minded and Fleshly given, hankering after the Law of a Carnal Commandment, and Carnal Ordi­nances; O! how he hugs them?

And if any Man dare speak a word against the Beauty of his Mis— or dare make Comparisons, or prefer a richer Beauty, Oh! how he Suaggers with his curses and Anathema's, and Damms him for a Schismatick, and if he can, Jay is him too, and there lets him D [...] and Rot; what speak a­gainst Mis [...]?

Thus, he is indeed the great Scare crow in the Church, a man of Clouts [Page 40]that looks like a man at a distance, but, if you search him, he has no bowels; he wants not Will, but Power to make his [...] Finger thicker than his Predecessors Loyns.

His Conscience is always just of the Size with that of his Prince; If his Prince be given to Wantonness, he dares not so much as quote the Se­venth Commandment in his Sermon, nor name Adultery; If he had liv'd in Maoedon in the Reign of Alexander, you might have known him for a true Courtier, by his Wry, neck, Regis ad exemplum.

His Ceremonies are more futile and thin than a Spiders Web, and can neither catch nor hold any body but Flyes or such silly Infects; yet he has in their Defence the Venom and Gall of a Spider, which transcends him in one thing, for she begins her Web at her Bowels, but he has none; as being of the Opinion of the Philosopher Zeno, who, amongst the Diseases of the Soul: (which he reckons up) makes Humane Compassion to be One.

He keeps a bustle for his Trinkets, let it make never so great a Distur­bance or Danger to the Church or Sate; pro Aris & Focis, he cries, stand up for the Church; though indeed his Area is the Ara to which he bows so devourly and demurely.

Not that he cares for his Trinkets neither, if he could make more Money by parting with them, than he has got by keeping of them; He would forsake them and the Saints too, with Demas, for love of this present World, upon a fair Prospect of a better Market at Thessalonica, in the Idols Temple; Amicus Plato, he cries, amicus Socrates, fed magis amici Divitiae & & Ho­nores.

He is worse than Balaam, who would not curse Israel, tho' Balak would have given him his House full of Silver and Gold.

For my Ceremony-monger is always for that Religion, that is most in Vogue For my Ceremony-monger is always for that Religion, that is most in Vogue and like a French-man, loves any thing that is infashion, but when out of fashi­on, he leaves it like Lice, that prey only upon the Living; but forsake men when they are going to die; or like Rats, that by Instinct, desert the House that is ready to fall: Thus he worships (with the Indian) the Rising Sun.

When the Mendicant Fryar, preach'd before Cardinal Odescalcho (this present Pope, before he got up to the Infallible Chair) and Cardinal Sachetti; he begun his Sermon thus:

—St. Peter was a Fool, St. Paul was a Fool, the Prophets, and A­posties, all Fools, for wandring about in Sheep-skins and Goat-skins, be­ing destitute, afflicted and tormented in their way to Heaven, when they might as well have gone thither (as their Successors) in Scarlet Gowns and Scarlet Hats; The Capuchin had an Eye to my Ceremony-monger, or to one as like him as ever he can look.

For this Ceremony-monger (notwithstanding his voluntary humility) it as proud as Lueifer, and hectors like a Pope against all Opposition, ex­alts himself above all that is called God; valuing his Canons, above the Statutes of the Realm.

Thus as the Papists preach up the Rules of St. Francis, St. Benedict and St. Dominick; that may be good things too (many of them) not only above the Laws of the Land, but above the Laws of God too, and strains [Page]at a G [...]at, at the same time, when he swallows a Camel; for in his Prayer before Sermon, he speaks like a Mouse in a Cheese, when he prays to God there, but when he preaches up [...]he Gospel Rules, then he makes the Pul­pet thunder (till the Church Eccho again) with the Canons, The Ca­nons (which may be good things too,) some of them, so that they make no comparisons with their betters) making a hideous noise with preach­ing up them and his Ceremonies: methinks he then looks like the Em­perour Caligula, when with a numerous Army he march'd with Colours fly­ing, Trumpets sounding, and Drums beating (loud as a Thunder clap) to gather Cockie Shells.

No man more zealously cries up the Laws of the Land and Acts of Uni­formity, when he gets a Non-conformist thereby upon the Hip, and to Penal-Law him; but when the point of the same Acts and Laws of the Land are turn'd upon himself, or he be commanded to do any thing he does not like, he cries out Conscience and the Liberties of Holy Church are In­vaded: Just as the Jews, to affront Caesar, they cry'd out, That God alone was their King, but to affront Christ, They alter their note, and say, We have no King but Caesar.

Thus he lays heavy Burdens upon others, and grievous to be born, but he himself (that is the greatest Non-conformist to the Act of Uniformity with his irrational and illegal Ceremonies) does not touch the Burden with one of his fingers. Yet you cannot well discover him; for ye shall not readily see him walk, but like a Spaniard, never or seldom abroad without his Cloak; Beggarly enough too, for the most part, and can scarcely cover his Rags, and his beggarly Elements and Will-worship.

CHAP. VI. Concerning unlighted Candles on the Altar, Organs, Church-Musick, and o­ther Foppish Symbols, &c.

THE Papists, like the Cynick Diogenes, that went with his Candle and Lanthorn at Noon-day into the Market-place, to see if he could find an honest Man there, because the Sun could not show one, at their Idol [...] ­trous and Preposterous Mass, draw the Window-curtains and Window-Shuts, as if they were ashamed, that the Sun should see such a dark Devo­tion, and dissipate the darkness, like that heavy Plague sent by God to Egypt, a darkness palpable, a darkness that might be felt: Thus the dark Shop Commends the Ware, and like other Stage Plays, Act at Noon-day by Candle-light to chuse, lest their Tinsel-lace should not pass for Silver­lace, nor their Bristol stones for Diamonds: Our Fops, with less Reason, do set up Candles too on the Altar, as well as the Papists, we must still be like them, and be popish Apes, without so much as Popish Reasoning, filly though it be; Ours is Non-scene.

For what signification of Light can this Ceremony be, any more than a stick? A Candle unlighted is no more a significant Ceremony of Light, than a Stick, before the fire touches it, is a Firebrand, I am not anly a­fham'd of my Fops, but really am [...]fham'd to use any words about it; it is needless to expose it, and yet it is retain'd as a thing of value, because that [Page]Foppery, amongst others, made my Ceremony-monger, a Man of value; for without them he had still Sare in the Seat, which best becomes him, and it is too good for him, the lowest Stool in the Church.

No [...], that our Blessed Saviour loves to see his Spoure, the Church, In a [...] D [...]ess; no, her [...]eyment is, or should be, of Needle work and Wrought-gold; Does any Queen deserve it better? but her chiefest Beauty is her inward and Spiritual Grace and Vertues.

There's something more than a pretty Face and Portion, that Wise Men look for in a Bride; though my Cremony-monger, like other Fops, minds little or nothing [...], or nothing so much; he'll debar you of the Holy Sacrament, if you accept not his A [...]ry Cross in Baptism, tho' his hand in making it, [...] a Circle more than a Cross, or looks like nothing, [...] is nothing, or is I do not know what: And will deny the Chil­ [...] Bread of Heaven, and rather give it to Dogs if they crouch, ex­cept the children [...], like Popish children, take it in the same posture of Adormion, as the Papists their Transubstantiated W [...]ser; 'tho it of­fends the [...]; as a Baboon, so much the more loathsom, for being so like us.

I know, that the Church of England declares in words against any Ad [...] ­on, tho' they retain the posture, the Popish posture, not our Saviours posture at the Holy Supper, but vulgar people mind Works more than Words; and is not that S [...]iritual Father very Wanton, that will lay a S [...]um [...]ling-block (so Popish like) to make his weak Child fall? You and I can [...] over it, but all Men are not so [...]imble; and can wear a Surplice or White gown as harm [...]esly as a Black; but others dislike it, because it is a Mass Priests Weed, which is true, tho' it is a silly reason, but all Men are not Wise.

I Read of Vocal Musick in the New Test [...]ment, and Singing of Psalms, but not a word of the little Instrument, the Violin, nor the great Bag­pipe [...], or Organ; nor of Men that made a Trade of Singing, as the Beggars do in Bohemi [...], and as Gypsies, and our Singing-men, and Singing-boys get their living by Canting: Nay, most abominably and profanely they Cant the very Creed: what chopping of words so ludicrously in so Solemn a Confession of Faith; Born of the Virgin, Virgin, Virgin; Born of the Virgin Mary, Mary, &c. Oh! most profane! and every body hears this, but who reproves it, who amends it? That ought to amend it, and not fit (like so many unthinking Black-coats) not minding what is done with such Impious Mockery, and silly Eccho.

But, why not Instrumental Musick as well as Vocal? There's a vastly different Reason, the poorest Men, the poorest Parishes have Tongues wherewith to praise God, but have not so much superfluous Mony to spare, as to buy Organs, and then give as much or more to maintain an Organist, as the Vicar has.

Some Bishops talk of Uniformity and one Mouth; Why not one sound too? A poor Country Man may be as good a Christian, as a Rich Citizen, E [...]oker, or Usurer, that has superfluous Money to buy Organs, which if [...] conduce to Godliness, the Bishops ought to commend it to the poor, as well as to the rich Courtier, King or Queen; and allow some Thousands Yearly, [Page 43](surely he can spare it freely for the promodon of Godliness and Uniformi­ty which he so eries up:) but Mum—not a Penny, I'le secure you, to make one Sound, and one Mouth.

And who can blame that Countrey Man (though all the Church laught at him in the great Ally) when the Pipes begun to Play, he fell a D [...]ncing, having never heard the like before, except the Bag-pipes in an Ale-house where he did always use to Trip it?

And the Country people do think that they want some expedient and requisi [...] Devotion, in Prayers and pralies, or else they and all the World must think that this Popish like Mus [...] and Organs, is too much Superstition.

But what can ray silly Ceremony monger say for himself, why Sentence should not be pronounced against him for an Impenicent Dissenter, Ana­thematiz'd, and then by (his own invention, the strange Wr [...] de Excom. ca­p [...]endo) be say [...]'d, and tormented (like poor Dissenters from the Act of Uniformity) till h [...] Roar again; and then Depriv'd and Degraded; Come! Perillus! 'Tis but just you should hand-sell your own Brazen-bull. For Disiencers (by Omission) are pardonable, th [...]y may pretend weakness and Conscience; but in those needless, silly, irrational, illegal and unscriptural Ceremonies, what const thou plead but wantooness, folly and Impudence?

Mu [...]lick is a great Spender the greatest Spender and Waster or [...], in the acquest of all Sciences, to be expert and ready at it: Nay, you'le lose it too, if you have no [...] great deal of waste time (from business) to throw away upon it! David had nothing to do, when he was young but sit on a Hill and Pipe to his Sheep, and pinger his Lute and Harp, in which by use he was so skilful, that i [...] made him a Courtier (though King S [...]ul had forgot him when he kill'd Goliah) but he had often before us'd to play the Devil out of him: And [...] [...]ental Musick was as Natural to him as Psalms; his Fingers as good at it, as his Tongue; if Men be brought up in Hunting, in Musick, &c. they' [...]e scarcely leave it, when older or richer, but rather use it the more, & improve it; and when we have got Davids Skill, and King David's ex­chequer, we'le have as many Organs and kill as many Bullocks for a sacrifice, as he did, if we have nothing else to do with our Money; or cannot cell how to while off an hour or two, in Devotion, without Org [...]s to divert us.

However, we may make my Ceremony-monger pull [...]own his Organ, and S [...]ll it to the Play-house, or M [...]sick house, because it is a Ceremony not contained in the Common-Prayer-Book, and therefore against Uniformley, & against his Act of Uniformity, with which he does [...] Mouthe, crying, One Mouth, one Mouth, why not one Sound, one Sound as well in all Churches?

My Ceremony monger pretends to a have wonderful zeal for knowledge and against ignorance, and would have the Youth instructed (in the Cate­chisms) to admiration, like the Pharisee (of old) and yet to his ut­most takes away the Key of Knowledge from the people, getting the Press Monopoliz'd to himself many times, and (stopping the Press and the Pulpit-doors) and Silencing those (to chuse) that Discover his Buf­foonery in Religion; taking a pride in a Tyranical prchemins [...], (like the Pharisee too) and saying, That these same People who know not the Law are accursed: He would gladly be accounted the Domine sac Totum, and yet does nothing (at all) that good is, nor permitting others to do [Page 44]it; he neither enters in himself, and they that would enter in, he hin­ders, except he may be the only Authentick Porter, or Door-keeper, scorning that Almighty God should give any Man better Lyes than his own, though he (poor Soul!) sees but gl [...]nerlogly, and by Spectacles, in a Glass darkly; and all to uphold the high Seat he has got in the Church, (I know not how; and yet I do too, in part, though not so well perhaps as the Popes Nuncio, or the Ambassadour Castlemain, or Father Petres.)

The CONCLƲSION.

CHAP. I. Of Sureties in Baptism.

AND now, you may see by the Picture I have drawn, that a Ce­remony-monger's Soul, and Conscience is neither rul'd by Holy Scripture, Right Reason, nor by the Law of the Land; but in de­spight of all these, some of them are such only through Custom, Igno­rance, blind Devotion, implicite Faith, and apish Imitation; others, and those no small Fools, upon design, duckoy'd by Avarice and Ambi­tion: But, Custom is a second Nature, even in Religion too, or more properly, Superstition: Custom is the Father, and Ignorance is the Mo­ther of their Devotion: As soon may an Ethiopian change his Skin, or a Leopard his Spots, as a Ceremony-monger his foppish Superstition, he is so accustomed to it. Custom can beget nothing upon a Man of Reason, a Man whose Reason is not clouded; and yet Custom has a Brood in the World far more numerous, than Truth could ever beget; because Truth, the Father of wise men, can never beget any thing, but upon Reason the Mother of true Devotion: But these Mothers are but few, and therefore there are but few of the Breed, very few rational Men, and rational Chri­stians, in comparison of the Numbers of those that go the broad Way, and go in at the broad Gate that leadeth to Destruction; and many there be that go in thereat, namely, all those, whose Religion and Worship has no other Ground, except Custom (in Conjunction with Mother Ignorance) for their foppish Devotion; and Covetousness, for their Knavish Superstition.

Thus the poor silly naked Indians, In America, (I have catechized, them) and ask'd them the Reason, Why they did bow to such an Idol, that was nothing more than other. Wood and Trees of which it was made: They had all one and the same Answer, namely, Custom, and their Peel's Peel's, What are they? but a certain crafty sort of Men amongst them, that lead the rest of the Fops by the Nose, by some Superstitions of their own Invention, Peel's, that is, Priests of the Devil, whom they worship in that [...]owing Idolatry! for they never worship God, (whom they acknowledge in dark apprehension) for they say, God is good; and some of them will say. God is a good Man, and will not hurt them, and therefore they worship the Devil to asswage his mischievous Wrath.

Even so, our English foppish Ceremony-mongers answer, (when I ca­techize them) and ask them the Reason of their bowing to the Altar [Page 45]when there is no Idol, and to the East when there is nothing Divine more than in the South and North, and the Altar nothing, but a piece of Wood, made of the same Wood and Trees with the Pues, the Stools and the Pulpit: then, just like the naked Indians, that are but just one degree (if they be so much) remov'd from a Monky, answer, that it is a Custom and their (Peel's: or) Priests do so, and therefore the poor Apes imitate, that's all.

Oh! but the Priests are crasty, and have some more Reason (though a wicked One) to bow to nothing; they do not bow for nothing, they get a Place by it, and Preferment; and therefore are forc'd to get as ma­ny Fools as they can to be their Disciples and Followers; for, when Owles are alone, they are houted at, but not Birds that fly in Flocks, tho they be Jack-dawes.

I have ask'd some of them a Reason for their confus'd and profane. irrational and unscriptural babling together the Reading Psalms! and all their Answer is, that [It is granted, that) It is a confus'd Noise, and therefore unintelligible; but their priests do so, and the Singing Boys; and they are accustomed to it: It is a very honest Confession; but is this Man-like, or Baboon-like?

I have ask'd some account also, of others, how the Organs got into Church, to make such a Noise, and at so great a Charge and Expence, In the first purchase and continuance; Judas his Question is proper here, To what purpose is this waste? Had they not better be sold, and the Organist's Sellary retrench'd, and given to the poor?

They answer, that Mr. Alderman was willing withal, and that he could not stay a long Hour or two out of his Counting-house, at Devotion, with­out sleeping; and therefore, how clunch-fisted soever he used to be at other times, yet on this occasion he nimbly opens his Purse to pay the Musick, for that it either keeps him from sleeping, or joggs and awakens him, and makes him stare and look up; therefore, &c. Ay, say no more; you have said enough, and you deserve to be a Laureat, as well as Sir John Suckling's Alderman; come, clap the Lawrel upon the Alderman's Head.

But of all the brisk Reasons of my Ceremony-mongers, that of a She Ceremony-monger was very surprizing, when being ask't why she, in de­fiance of plain Scripture, spoke in the Church, answered nimbly, That her Tongue was so us'd to wagg at home, that it could not lie still in the very Church? and yet the same Church-pratter, was silenc'd, when questi­oned, why she, in imitation of the Doctor's bowing his Noddle to the Al­tar, Madam Limberham made a Courtesy, and bow'd both her Knees? no Reason could be got for that Mimickry; that is no more like, than an Apple is like an Oyster.

And all the Reason that some Bishope can give, why they ordain many times, rude, illiterate, unthinking Don's to the Pulpit, to teach others, and know nothing of the Matter, nothing of their own Knowledge, no Divinity is concocted or digested, and made their own, and in their Head and Heart, (the Body of the Law is digested by a Lawyer, before he is fit to come to the Bar; and the Body of Physick, by Physitians, before they are fit to feel the Pulse, or be Licensed).

His Answer is, That he trust; to his Deacon, or Arch-deacon, by im­plicite Faith, He believes as the Arch-deacon tells him; and that the form and manner of ordaining Deacons, Priests, and Bishops, requires no more: well, it is well, 'tis very well answer'd, and most Episcopally;

And why do you Confirm, and lay Hands suddenly upon so many igno­rant Persons that understand not one Article of Faith, nor can so much as say the Creed? The answer is, The Common-prayer Book requires no more than to believe oy Implicit Faith, the fitness of all that the Parish Priest says is fit, he must take it for granted, and believe as the Priest be­lieves, and see with other Mens Eyes; but that is the Fault (Brother!) of your Constitution, that obliges you no more Work and Inspection, than any Mortal can perform.

Besides, where do we read (except in the Mass Book, and Common-Prayer Book) of such a thing in Scripture, as Confirmation by a Bishop? That Scripture of little Children coming to Christ, and he laid his Hands upon them, and blessed them, is, in the Common-Prayer Book, apply'd to infant Baptism, in the Office of Publick Baptism; and most incongru­ously (too) for that purpose; for Jesus baptized none, neither Men, Women, nor Children, but his Disciples did that; Nay, the great Apo­stle of the Gentlies went about confirming the Disciples by sound Preach­ing, but he baptized very few; one, or two, or three, he confeiles that he did baptize, and if he had baptized any more, he had forgo [...]; there­fore he did not make such a business of it in his own Person: And as for laying Hands upon any Children, or other, there is not the least men­tion of any such Matter. How came it then into the Church; I'le tell you:

Infants being not able to make a Confession or Profession of Faith and Repentance, which two are required of all persons before they be baptiz­ed, (as saith the Church of England in her Doctrine Catechistical in the Common-Prayer Book, and so said St. Augustine, but I believe neither of them).

But, because that Infants, by reason of their tender Age cannot per­form them; therefore they do perform th [...] by Proxy, [...] by [...], because the Sureties do promise (a wise Reason, for [...]ises may be broken) they shall perform both Faith and Repentance, when they come to Age.

Ay! Here's a wise Reason for a Learned Church, and enough to make all Rational Men (that have not lost their Reason) be Anabaptists, or, at least, like Witches, to deny their Baptism so Infancy.

For all Promises and Vowes are either broken or kept, but the Promises and Vowes of God-fathers and God-mothers in infant Baptism, are seldom or never kept; but are broken Vows, and broken Bonds and Promises.

The Sureties Promise and Vow, that the poor Insolvent Child (that can­not speak for it self) shall when it can hear (for Faith comes by hearing) have Faith; and when it can speak, and gets Wit, then it shall have Grace to confess and repent.

But, suppose the Child live to have Wit enough to be a Ceremony-mon­ger; Had ever any Man or Woman of them the Grace to confess, recant and repent? And then the Promise of the Sureties is not worth more than some Lord's Promise, nor worth a Farthing.

Again, suppose the Child prove Deaf, or Dumb, or a Fool, the Sure­ties Vow they do not know what; nay, if it live to be hang'd, as many are for Thieves, Witches, Murderers; Hlow is the God-fathers and God­mothers Vow and Promise perform'd, when they vow'd and promised for poor Child in Baptism, that it should forsake the Devil and all his Works, the Pomps and Vanities of this wicked World, and all the sinful Lusts of the Flesh. 2dly, They vow and promise that Child shall believe all the Articles of the Christian Faith; do they not break their Vow, If poor Child prove to be a sceptick, a Hobbist, or an Athlest? 3dly, They vow that the poor Child shall keep God's Holy Will and Commandment, and walk in the same all the days of its Life; Do they not break their Vow, if, poor Child, for whom they swore a solemn Vow and Promise, in the presence of God, being an Oath, happen to turn Apostate, Papist, Ma­hometan, or Infidel, are not the Sureties all forsworn? And though they be, or be not, there's the mischief, no good can possibly come of it, but that which is lucumbent upon Parents, and which Sureties seldom or never mind, namely, Christian Education; and if so, they should not Swear and Vow in the Child's Name, that the Child does or shall believe and repent; It is enough to promise good Education (if the God-fathers and God-mothers be barren, or old and past Children; in such case, it is enough to [...] kind and careful of another Man's Child: But if they have Children of their own, or likely to have any, it is too much, because Charity should begin at Home. And therefore the said Vow and Pro­mise, is, but usually like the common Discourse of Hectors and Bullies; (I swear and Vow, they cry on all Occasions) when they intend nothing; by Vowing and Swearing, but forswearing; and adding a Lye to the Pro­mise and Vow.

First, Then the Sureties promise that which no honest Man can honest­ly promise, who makes Conscience of a Vow, because he promises that which is impossible for him to perform.

Secondly, If the Insolvent Child be bound by Sureties and good Bayl, if he leave them in the lurch, he wrongs them not, he gave them no such Commission, Power, Deputation, Authority, or Request to promise and vow in his Name: And therefore that talk of a Vow in Baptism, it non­sense, idle, and vain: How can a Man break a Vow, or a Bond that he never made; but his Sureties made it in his behalf; Ay, without his or­der, knowledge, care, or desire: How is Child concern'd therein, any more than other Children in the World? I have to hear Non-sense, much more to preach it, except I were sure, I was to preach to none but Fops, that swallow every thing that the Priest puts in their Mouth (like the Wa­fer God) without chewing.

Thirdly, Suppose another Man's Faith or Repentance (that has enough of both) for his own Salvation, and also Merits (called Works of Super­erogation by the Papists) to spare, heaped up and running over, which the Saints departed, St. Bridget, St. Winifred, St. Francis, St. Ignatius Loyola, St. Coleman, &c. has left at their Departure, as a last Legacy to the Pope (as the Papists hold) Faith and Repentance enough to save all the Whores and Rogues in the World, to whom the Pope gives, no Sells, to any that has Money, and is willing to Buy.

If Works of Supererogation be true, it is the first Market I would make; I had rather buy Heaven than a Knight-hood, or a Bishop [...]ick.

But, suppose the Fool and his Money be soon parted, and a Man get nothing but Hell by another Man's Graces of Faith and Repentance, by relying thereon, as Church of England holds; then much more Nonsense it is for Church of England, on such idle and false Principles, to talk of Faith and Repentance to be performed, (tho never so much promised to be performed) by Proxy, or by Sureties.

If God Almighty would (like some Creditors) take Sureties, and quem pro quo, that if Child could not perform and pay Faith and Repen­tance, then fall upon the Sureties, and make them smart for it; then you speak to purpose. But, God is Just, the Soul that sinneth it shall die, and the Soul that believes and repents shall be Saved, but I fear the best Pro­testant has nothing to spare for a poor Insolvent Child.

Fourthly, Suppose (which is possible) that the Sureties are Insolvent and have not Faith and Repentance for themselves, then all this great Fat is in the Fire; they can never perform nor pay a Debt for another, that have not wherewith to discharge their own Debts, let them promise, and vow and be Bound in as many Bounds as they please for other People; any Fool or Beggar can promise to pay a Thousand pounds for another, but what signifie Promises, Vows, or Oaths, made only to be broken and forsworn?

Lastly, Which is the saddest Case of all, (or not a Pin to chuse) sup­pose that poor Child is baptized without Sureties, as are the greatest num­ber by far, in this populous own; and in private Baptism, neither Sure­ties, nor the Sign of the Cross is required; then they must bring Sureties afterwards to Church, and then it shall be signed with the Cross. But half the Parishes in this Town have no Churches, and they are not obliged to carry Child to another Church. Now you are gravell'd, Mr. Ceremony-monger, and you do not know what to do, or say.

Again, those that have Churches, will not, nor cannot, for Love nor Mony, get such good patur'd and kind Sureties, to promise, vow or swear for the Child; What will you do now? now you are worse gravell'd.

For either the Child in private Baptism, without Sureties, and the Sign of the Cross, is baptized aright, truly and fully, or no?

If not, then half of the Kingdom are unchristned Infidels; there's one of the two Sacraments half lost by your foolish Reasonings, and fond Doctrines; except you confess that the Child is rightly baptized without Sureties, or the Sign of the Cross.

Which if you do, I have conquer'd thee, and thy silly Doctrine, of making Faith and Repentance requisite, before a Child be capable of Bap­tism: And when you had made so great a Flaw in Divinity, you sodder it worse with a nonsensical Whimsey of Sureties performing Faith and Re­pentance for poor Child by promising both, Sureties, Sponsores, Custo­mers not more silly than Ancient, even in the 2d, or 3d. Centuries, as I remember, but have no time to turn to it, but an Error not so old as that of Papias, viz. Christ's reigning here upon Earth a thousand Years per­sonally, as the Millenaries hold; and a hundred more Errors of older Stile.

Besides, the Vow and Promise of Sureties gives either true Faith and Repentance, or not: If only false, it is nothing worth, 'tis false Coin, it cannot, shall not pass current any longer: If true Faith and Repentance come thereby, then is this believing and penitent Child capable also of the other Sacraments of the Lords Supper; for no other Qualifications can be requisite; Faith and Repentance fits them for Heaven and Glory; and if so, it must needs fit them for the means of Grace, in the way to Glory. St. Augustine, good Man. was thus run to the Wall with this Argument, and so must Church of England, 'till they get a better Reason for Infant-Baptism, than they tell us in their Catechism and Common-Prayer-Book, and must rationally fall into the Error of St. Augustine, who put the Holy-Supper, like Spoon-meat, down the Childrens Throats, thus prophaning, because not discerning the Lord's Body.

But the Sureties do it for them; then let them eat and drink also for them, take both the Sacraments in their Name and stead, and go to Heaven also in their Names and stead. And what will poor Child get by all this? He will never know any thing of those Heavenly Joys which his Proxy and Surety enjoys.

Therefore to salve this Sore, make room then for Confirmation, a Ro­mish Sacrament. Well, (you'l say) you can expose Mother-Church, and shew her Nakedness; but can you cover it? Yes! that I can, and have done it many Years ago in my printed Book called—Gregory Father Gray-Beard: If I be forc'd to lance my poor Mother's Sores, I always sprinkle sympathetick pouder on my Lancet, that it may heal the Wound. It is forc'd to make, to let the corrupted Quitter out. But, if she be so wil­ful and proud, that she scorns my Hand, my charitable Hand and Help, march on, let the Blind lead the Blind; when you are in the Ditch, we shall hear you cry for help; though now, like the wild Ass in the Wilder­ness, she tosses up her head, and runs snorting away, in her month we shall find her.

CHAP. II. Of Escapes in the Common-Prayer-Book, in reference to the Act of Uniformity.

WHat! shall we have no Ceremonies at all then? Oh! yes, your fill, so you'l be content, and not impose your small sense upon others in Canons, and Acts of Uniformity; which are not only vain Attempts hi­therto, (even since the first General Council of Nice) but all the great Wars in Christendom, upon the score of Religion, the Innocent Blood spilt betwixt the Arrians and Athanasians, the Papists and the Protestants, the Conformists and Non-conformists the Animosities. Jalls, Ruin, Fines, Im­prisonments, Smithfield Friers, and Bloody Inquisition, must all be charg­ed at the foot of this Account.

It is very strange that Christians will not be content with the Imposition and Acts of Uniformity, which God, the Holy Jesus and his Apostles have provided. Hast thou Faith (saith the Apostle) have it to thy self? Hast thou a ceremony, thou art fond on, it may be good, it may be bad, make much on't, keep it to thy self; to thine own Master thou [...] or fallest.

We have general Rules, as to honour God with our Substance, or Estates, in Works of Charity, which is the greatest Thing in Religion, and without which all thy Faith and Hope is nothing, as saith St. Paul; or is a dead Carrion, as saith St. James, because Charity, the Soul of Faith, is de [...] ­ed, when thou evidences thy Faith to be a nothing Faith, a dead Faith, by destroying Charity, in killing and imprisoning thy Brother for Faith's sake; and perhaps thy weak Brother, for whom Christ died, through thy Imposition, and Penal Acts of Uniformity; Acts that are not only mischievous in breaking the Peace and Unity of the Brethren, not only uncharitable in beating thy Son, or thy Brother, because he is blind; re­store him to his Sight, in the Spirit of Meekness, is the Apostle's Rule, blows will never cure his Blindness.

Besides, Uniformity is an unnatural, impossible, and therefore an irra­tional, wicked, and vain attempt: Go, teach God to make a new Heaven, with Uniformity of Stars, and Skies spangled uniformly, they are now all of different Forms and Features: Go, reach him to make Men uniform, they are all now of different Forms and Features; Go teach him to make a new Earth, and set a new Face on it; The Landskip now looks so much the more lovely by the Variety, which God and Nature seems to de­light in; And wilt thou (thou silly Ceremony monger, and Projector) be wiser than God?

If thou hadst seen our blessed Saviour sometimes stand and pray, some­times kneel and pray, sometimes ly on a Bed or Couch, and eat the Ho­ly Supper; sometimes fall on his Face and pray; if thou hadst seen this variety, thou wouldst have Excommunicated him, then caplass'd and jal­led him, if thy fierceness had not kick't him, and spurn'd him up, hadst thou but had an Act of Uniformity to back thee.

We are bound to honour God with our Substance, In Works of Chari­ty (the greatest Duty) but how much; when, and how, in particular, is left to the discretion and liberty of every Man, no rule of Imposition is, or can be made about it.

We are obliged to honour God with our Bodies, the least thing in true Worship, for bodily Exercise profiteth little, but how much, when, and how in particular, is lest to the discretion and liberty of every Man, no Rule of Imposition is or can be made about it.

Then, you'l say, the Church of England was mistaken in one of her XXXIX. Articles, that says, The Church has power to appoint Ceremo­nies: And also the King and Parliament were mistaken in the Act of Uni­formity, that enjoint all Bishops and Clergy-men, on pain of Deprivation, to subscribe, assent, and consent to all and every thing, as true, which is contained in the Common-Prayer Book.

Here is a heavy Charge, Convocation-House, and Parliament-House, both upon my back; but, come, one at once, and I'le deal with them both, one after another, as well and as fast as I can.

First then, I say, in general, that any Decree under Heaven, that is either unlawful, or Impossible to be obeyed, is not at all Obligatory: This is so plain, that it needs no further Proof, it is like the Light of the Sun, self-evident; if the Sun shine, no man doubts it, but he that is blind, or [Page 51]winks on purpose, lest he should be convinc'd. And as to that Article, viz. The Church has power to enjoin Ceremonies—it confounds all the Ceremony-mongers amongst us. And in all my Travels, Reading, and Discourses, I never met with any Man; Bishop, Priest, or Lay-man, that ever did, could, or durst explain what is there meant by Church.

If it be taken for the Clergy, either in (or out of) Convocation, or Sy­nod, viz. That they have of themselves a Jus Divinum, a Divine Right, to enjoin Ceremonies to the People of England, they all incur a Praemunire, that claim such a Power, and justly, for they there by set up a Legislative power, independent of, and distinct from the King and Parliament, (the only Legislators) and is of most pernicious Consequence, and found to be so in all Ages; And by the Statutes of Provisors, made both by Popish and Protestant Kings and Parliaments, condemn'd as most pernicious and insufferable, by invading the only Legislative power, [Kings, Lords, and Commons] the great Fundamental of our Government, and setting up a Thing called, A Church, independent of, and equal with, or above the State, and bearding the State, if it be so bold as not to please them, or should dare to displease them. Better it is, not to be a State, than to be such a pitiful State, at this precarious rate, that dare not but be Priest­ridden: Our Noble Ancestors, in Popish Times, scorn'd the motion, and were true English Men: This distinction of Church and State, is a Popish and pernicious distinction; two higher powers is one too much.

But if by the Church in that Article, be meant, the King and Parlia­ment, the Representatives of the whole Body of the people, the Convoca­tion and Canon-makers will by no means acknowledge that; for that makes them Cyphers, and [as many people account them] useless Tools: And never did King and Parliament, neither, make Laws coercive in matters of Religion, or Uniformity in Religion, but Confusion, Divisions, Schisms, Tumults, Sedicion, Blood, Ruine, and civil Wars, were the dismal consequences in England; whereas there would be none of these, no dissentions, no penalties, no complaining in our Streets, if the Legis­lative power, unsuborned by Priest-craft, make no Laws but what are proper for their cognizance, and for the peace, welfare, good manners, and good abearing in the State: And then, where there is no Law, there can be no Transgression; and those odious Names of Dissention and Sedi­tion, Conformist and Nonconformist, will find an eternal Grave.

I'le give but one Instance in that same Act of Uniformity, which re­quires all Clergy-men to give their assent and consent to all and every thing (for Truth) which is contained in the Common-prayer Book.

But, who made the Kings and Parliaments of England infallible Popes, since the Church of England confesses she may Err?

And how irrational and unaccountable is it for men that confess their ignorance, and yet with the same mouth will vote a Law, or Imposition of their Sense in Religion upon all Mankind under their Jurisdiction? For ought they know, they may command and enact that all Clergy-men shal assent in their Judgments, and consent in their Wills, to a palpable er­ror, lie, or untruth; or else, take their choice, to starve, lie down and die; for Farm they may not, Thrash they cannot, and if they Beg, they are sent to Bridewel.

And this is our very case this day; We may not chuse what Chapters for Lessons, what Collects, Epistles and Gospels, we list to read, but must read those that are appointed for the day: And the last year they were all falsly appointed, or else those words in the Common-prayer Book are false, that fixes and ascertains Easter Sunday (the Aera, or beginning of the Account, whence all the Lessons, Collects, Episties and Gospels, are computed, nominated, and appointed).

But that is not only silly, and uncertain, but false and contradictory in the Common-prayer book, and therefore both the said Aera's cannot be true. As for example, by one Common-prayer Book Rule, the last Ea­ster Sunday should have been kept upon April 8, because Easter Sunday (whence all other Feasts, Lessons, Collects, are computed all the year af­ter) is always the first Sunday next after the first Full Moon which hap­pens after March 25, which was April 8, last past: But by another Rule in the Common prayer Book, it was (and so we kept it) upon April 15 last past.

They cannot both be true, but one of them is a Mathematical untruth, (and which no body can deny); yet Bishops and Curats must all assent and consent, that this falshood is a truth, and such a falshood it is, and of so evil consequence, that it makes a blunder, and confounds all our wise Me­thods of uniformity in Common-prayers, Episties, Gospels, and Lessons: And if we do not confess and subscribe that this falshood and untruth is [...] truth, then starve and dir.

I can give several other instances of our irrational Doctrine and Disci­pline, but I am loth to offend, let them even go on, they'l give me but little thanks for my pains already; but, I thank God, I do not find the fault, to expose it to shame, but to cure it, I know how: And, let me tell you, it requires some skill in the Cure, Why may not Lightning sometime come from a black Cloud? and a dull By-stander see better sometime, than he that play? Some part of that seven-hill'd City (Rome) is scituat­ed in a Vale, as well as Westminster Hall; and therefore no wonder [...] sometimes both of them be in a Fog.

And if it abate the proved, pragmatical, imposing, self-conceited, dog­matical and imperious Spirit, that confounds the whole Creation by Me­thods and Aims of Uniformity, point blank against those different Measurer of God and Nature, it is well.

CHAP. III. Concerning Bishops.

WHat I am going to speak concerning Bishops, may the more fa­vourably be received, because so contrary to self-interest, the worst of evil Counsellors.

For why may not I, as well as any other, live in hopes of a pair of Lawn Sleeves, rightly put on, since nothing else keeps me from making as good a Speech in the House of Lords, as that which of late was only a Speech without Doors; and proves so genuine and well aim'd, that all of it [...] (now a Speech within Doors. However I could serve as well as the best, to make up the number of the Yea's or No's: And that's all the wise Speech [Page 53]that some men ever did make: (I do not say) that ever they can make; for the more frugal any man is, and the less he spends, the greater is his Stock.

But if I had been so hasty as to bespeak the Lawn-Sleeves, this Sheet (that I am going to write) will spoil all my finery▪ And certainly there cannot be such a Fool in England, or the World, as to think that the King's Letters Patents, or Conge de Slyer, can make the Baronet or the Bishop, a Linguist, or a Learned Man, except he was so before, though usually the Vulgar are of Opinion; that if a Bishop, or a Lord says it, writes or preaches it, O Heavenly! because O Earthly? and is a Judgment as pre­posterous a [...] that Action of the Orator, when pointing to the Earth, he de­claimed—O Caelum!

But, it is a received Maxime,—No Bishop, no King: I know not who invented it, but it may be true, in some sense; but it is false, If it be meant —no Rich Bishop, no King; for that the Rich Bishops were so Rich, that what with the Hank they got upon silly Mens Consciences, and the Inte­rest that their Lands, good Leases, and Dependencies, their Tenants, Ser­vants, and Friends, they were so prevalent, when united, that, when our Kings have (sometimes) been so hardy and boid as to displease them, they have either taken the Crown from his Head, (as the Rich Bishop of winchester unking'd his Brother King Stephen) on whose Head that Nim­rod of a Clergy-man had, without any right, clapt it on; and upon dis­pleasure, the Bishop chiefly unking'd him again, and (in effect) spurn'd [...] off, as Pandolfus the Popes Nuncio, did the [...]rown off King John's Head, which say groveling at his Foot, whilst the proud Prelat, put it on: and to shew the Ecclesiastical Insolence of some Lawn-Sleeves, he up with his foot, and kick't it off from the Kings Head.

So that—no Bishop—no King (Stephen, or John) and a Bishop— no King (Stephen, or John); for that Rich Bishops, like other Rich Lords, are a Strength to the Crown, when it does not displease them; and on the contrary, have been too great and dangerous when controul'd, grow­ing musty and morose; a King had as good be a Slave in Turky, as to be at the mercy of such Popish-like Ecclesiastical Pride.

Nay, did not the very Dean of westminster, and the Arch-bishop of York (chiefly, though with others bandyed) make the Reign of Hen. 4. and Hen. 5. very uncasie? For which cause the wise King Henry 7. Invented a way to pull down the Stomacks of the great Temporal Lords with their own hands, by enabling them to alienate and sell their Lands; of which many were so glad, that it was the first Bargain they would make, [to chuse]; away runs the Foot-man for the Usurer and Scrivener, who were as glad to buy as the other to sell, when both sides are willing, the Bargain is soon struck up, and Time was unwing'd till the Entail was dockt.

Then his Son Hen. 8. he reform'd the Clergy with a Witness, and poc­keted up the Reformation by Act of Parliament; and excluded from the House of Lords, all the spirtual Lords Abbots, and [...]ut their Lands in his Pocket by Statute Law. Edw. 6. and Queen Elizabeth, were his own Children too; for they, and their wise Counsel, finding, that though the Spiritual Lords [Abbors] were excluded the House of Lords, yet the other [Page 54]Spiritual Lords [Bishops] were so proud sometimes, and high; that no Body could imagine them to be the best Disciples of Christ; who was meek and lowly; therefore Edw. 6. took at once from the Arch-bishop of York, about 37 great Mannors; and were annext to the Crown; and Queen Elizabeth, amongst other things, took all the Lands belonging to the Prince Palatine of Ely (Bishop, in the Vacancy, and gave 2000 l. to be paid out of the Exchequer, Annually, a sufficient Competency, and an Injury to no Man, for the Bishoprick was in Abayance, as the Law calls it, in nubibus, it being in posse any, bodies, but in esse no bodies.

So that I also am so much a Friend to that Proverb—No Bishop, no King—and so very much a Friend to Bishops, that where there is one now in England, I wish there were twenty; and as old as I am, I hope to live to see it: and yet not take one Farthing from the present Incum­benrs, nor in the least diminish the vast Revenues and Grandeur of, my Lords, the Bishops that are in possession; let them keep it (I say) till they die; and die they must, and then their Bishopricks being vacant, (by Death however, if not sooner justly forfeited) it will be no Injury to any Man, to share out and divide the vast Incomes to many Bishops, who must take the pains, and perform the Work of a Bishop, in their pro­per persons, which is now done by Proxies, Sureties, and Implicite Faith.

And, I doubt not but that all my Lords the Bishops would be of my mind herein, as to the Work of a Bishop, which they themselves; and all English-men, find to be so great a Work, and a Burden so much too hea­vy for any single Shoulder, that they are forc'd to perform the great Acts of a Bishop, in Ordinations, Confirmations, Excommunications, Absolu­tions, &c. only by Foppish as well as Popish like Implicite Faith, see­ing with other Mens Eyes, and hearing with other Mens Ears, that it is no wonder that they err so often.

Oh! but the Wages then must be divided, as well as the Work, Flesh and Blood cannot bear this Doctrine:

No, it cannot; therefore Flesh and Blood cannot enter (neither) in­to the Kingdom of Heaven: But a Bishop (of all others) ought not to consult with Flesh and Blood, and self-Interest, which above all things in the World does bribe Mens Judgments, that they cannot (because they will not) give their Assent and Consent to so great a Truth.

King Charles I. was tenaciously in love with Bishops, as now in England constituted, even to death, so great was his Opinionatree in the Case; [...]nd yet he says, they were not Bishops Jure Divino, by Divine Right, and yet neither contra Jus Divinum: But, I think quite contrary, viz. that [...]here is nothing in Scripture more plain, than that Bishops are Jure divino, and nothing more plain than that the Bishops in Eng­ [...]and, now constituted, are contrary (absolutely contrary) to Jus Divi­ [...]um: or Divine Right, so far as they act like Novices in Implicite Faith: Tim. 3.3. A Bishop must neither be a Novice, nor given to filthy [...]ucre. For any B [...]y-Bishop, any ignorant and unlearned Bishop is as [...]ood as the best, in those Acts of Implicite Faith; any Novice can see [...]ith other Mens Eyes, and hear with other Mens Ears; any Novice can, [Page 55]and the greater Novice the fitter too, believe as others believe, without any other Reason.

Therefore, since the Holy Scripture says, a Bishop ought not to be a Novice; if he be a Novice, that sees but by Implicite Faith; then tell me, count them if you can, How many Novices have we in England that do all their greatest Acts by Implicite Faith? This is as bold a Stroke, you'l say, as ever was; and yet not a jot too bold to strike at so Grand, so Poppish, so Popish a Folly, as Implicite Faith; by which, it must be granted, and cannot be denied, our protestant Bishops do all their mighty Businesses, and is the cause of such a contemptible and ignorant Glergy, ill grounded Excommunications and Absolutions, and [...]apias's thereupon; and such unscriptural, irrational, and Blind Confirmations, perswading the Ignorant that they are fit to receive the other Sacrament of of the Lord's Supper, when they know nothing of the Creed; and some­times were never listed or matriculated into Mother-Church by the Initia­ting Ordinance of Baptism.

But that is the Fault of the Person, not of the Constitution; If that were true, it might be amended; but it is false, for it is not the Fault of the Person only, but the Fault of the Constitution, which obliges no Bishop in his Office, and performance of these great Episcopal Acts, but only to the knowledge of a Novice, or implicite Faith.

Nay, if our Constitution did oblige him, it would oblige him to Impos­sibilities, for his Work is more than any Mortal can perform in propriâ personâ; and the great charge of Souls, which he takes upon him, more terrible, if his Conscience be awake, or not brib'd with the Wages, it must be sensible, that no Plety, Parts, or Prudence can possibly discharge, except as now, by implicite Faith, which any Bay, a [...] Child, a [...] Nevice can perform as well as the best.

It was Covetousness therefore, and Ambition, that first made Bishop­ricks so large (for the sake of making all the Bishops Lands therein one Man's Monopoly); and also made Bishops Consciences so large, as to gape and swallow all, the relishing Bit was so gustful and grateful to a greedy Gut; but from the beginning it was not so.

Now every County must have a Bishop, nay, sometimes two, or three, or four Counties will scarcely hold one great Bishop, nay, to them too, must be added sometimes a Rich Deanery. Is it not strange that a Bishop should be a Deacon again, for the Mony sake, and a Parson again by Com­mendum, for the sake of some bulky Parsonage, like Wiggin in Lancashire, in Commendum held by Dr. Cartwright Bishop of Chester, now advanc'd to be a non-such Protestant Reader in Popish France, and Curat to a Popish Prince in the Protestant Chappel in the Castle of Merli.

And I am perswaded they will have the Grace to blush, if it do not also make their heartsake before I have done, at the horrible Burthen they have undertaken, which the Shoulders of the strongest and ablest Apostles of Christ never did or durst renture to take upon themselves, no Mortal ever did or can discharge it, but in this Novice way, by Proxy, or blind [Page 56]Implicite Faith; God, in his Mercy, forgive them, they know not what they do.

Philippi. (nay, Jerusalem) a little scanty City, not so big and populous as Colchester by half, and yet had several Bishops at a time therein; Philip 1.1. To all the Saints which art at Philippi, with the Bishops and Deacons. How many Bishops of London, at this rate, must there needs be in London, not to mention the three Counties of Hartford, Essex, and Middlesex, into the bargain.

Ay, but the House of Lords will not hold so many Bishops.

No, I grant! There are Bishops [...]now there already, as some have laid, and angerly grudge that we Clergy-men (who are as much represented in the House of Commons, as any Commoners in England, and make as great a bustle at an Election of Members, to get Men for our turn) should also be represented in the other House, which no other Commoners are; and that my Lords the Bishops are tried by their Peers, that is, by their Equals, Commoners, but the Lords are Conciliarii Nati: It is part of their Inheri­tance to be the King's Councellors, and a Seat in the House of Lords is part of their Estate and State. But such Men talk like those that say, that we had English Parliaments before Bishops and Abbots sat in the House of Lords, and many Statutes (the Judges say are good Law) tho made in several Parliaments, excluso Clere, the Lord-Bishops and Lord-Abbots be­ing shut out of Doors, and not permitted into the House of Lords; nay, the Lord Abbots that had as good and as antient Right to sit in the House of Lords, as Lord-Bishops, are Long ago, and to this day excluded? Not­withstanding my known Devotion to my Lords the Bishops, (I confess) I have not skill enough to answer such Reasons and Records; It behoves them that have more wit, and are more concern'd than I, to give this a Ra­tional Answer; I consels my Ignorance, but my Devotion to them is well enough known.

And I cannot deny, but that the Bookish-men (as my Lords are bred) and usually Fellows of Colledges, by that state they take upon them in the Colledge, all but themselves going bare to them, if they do but see them at the further end of the Court, let it Hail, Snow or Blow; this inclines Men to be pedantickly proud ever after (I knew it too experimentally) being made a fellow of Gonvil and Cajus Colledg in Cambridge, when I was but Junior-Batchelor, and not 19 Years of Age, till Travel and Experi­ence in the World (which all Bishops have not) refines this Insolence, and makes it more sociable and complaisant.

But let no Man envy the Liberality of our Ancestors, in endowing the Bi­shops and Universities so plentifully: a few that are truly worthy and Learned Men may well compound for the generality of a contemptible Clergy; that would not have been so truly contemptible, but that my Cere­mony-monger in bad Reigns got possession too often of the Steeple, the losti­est Piece of the Church, by Popish-likes and Foppish Ceremonies; and then it behov'd him to keep open the Door by which he enter'd, to such only, as were like him, and followed his Steps, and ezclude all others to his uttermost, whose Vertues and true Learning must necessarily [if set near him) ruddy his Cheeks, and make him blush for shame.

But crafty young Lads finding that easy way to the Wood, and that it was much more easy and profitable to go to a Dancing-school, than to the Laborious Schools of Worth, and Crabbed Learning, to which it is so diffi­cult and not so unprofitable (as times hath been) to bend the [...]nd; and also so very s [...]cile, honourable and beneficial to bend his Body, in filly Cringings and Bowings; farewel Books, saith he, and dry, unprofitable Studies, I'le go to the Ecclesiastical Dancing-school, and commence Doct­or Ignoramus.

Hence it is, that our Wise Men of England have made our English Bi­shopricks out of two poor words in Tit. 1.5. [...]; ill under­stood; in every City making Elders (or Bishops) saith St. Paul to-Titus, as I have appointed thee; [...], [...]u every City.

Thence it is, that such a pother wa [...] made to make such a little Town' as Carlisle, a City, for why? Forsooth, and Colchester an Ancient City, and twenty times bigger than Carlisle, to dwindle to a Village, for why? Forsooth.

Because every Bishops See must be a City. ( [...]) and but one City in a Bishop [...]ick, and therefore little Ca [...]lisle must be a City, and Col­chester, which to my knowledge is Ten times bigger, and Forty times more Rich and Populous, must dwindle from a City (as Antiently it was the on­ly City of Essex) and why?

[...] has done its business, City and Bishopricks must be Convert [...]es, and London being the greater City and Bishops See, or Seat, E [...]go &c. [...], which I confess, Origen (lib. 8. contrae Celsum) does Paraphra [...], [...] much like Chrysostome [...] 1 Tom. Homil. 1 in every City; thus the Lifeless Feather of on [...], con­sumes an other Feathers that are near it, and in the Nest; whereas not on­ly the hest Greek Authors, but the Holy Scripture, confounds the word [...] and [...] a Village and a City, in several places, both in the Old and New Testament; as for Instance, in 1 Chron. 4.32. their Villages were Five Cities, (Exam, & [...])

So, in the New Testament, St. Luke calls Bethlehem, [...] the City of David, (Luk. 2.4 but St. John calls it [...] the Village of David and I'l [...] call Bethlebem, as I'le give Colchester a Name too (why not? Since I have help't to Christen a great part of the Town these Seven and Twenty Years) [...], a City, Town, though the Bishops See or Seat at the great City of London, has taken its good Name from it most Scandalously and nureasonably, to give it to little Carlisle for the sake of [...]; a word, the Ceremony mongers never right understood, they were so busie about Ceremonies they had no more leisure to understand, Tit. 1.5. than Philip. 2.10. both of them falsely Interpreted, and the latter false­ly constructed, and falsely Translated, either through Ignorance or fraud, to make room for a Nonsensical Ceremony.

There were 1000 Bishops in Armenia, says Baron [...]us (ad An. 1145.) And Justinian the Emperour (Petravon, and Novel. 31. c. 1.) says, there were but Twenty Cities in Armenia in his time, and they have decreast ever since; how could 1000 Bishops then Sit in Twenty Cities, except there were many Bishops in one City, or many Bishops in Villages and small Towns?

Nay, to go no further than Ireland, St. Patrick Founded there 365 Churches, and as many Bishops, saith Nemius, and also Bishop Usher, late Primate of Armagh; and yet there never were 365 Cities, and now but Ninteen.

In St. Augustin's Time there were 900 Bishops in Africa (August. Tom. 7. de [...]estis cum Emerit.)

And yet not half so many Cities, and many of the Cities in St. Augustin's Time were Heathens; nay, the Inhabitants of the famous City in Syriae, called Heliopolis, were all Idol [...] to or [...] (Theodores lib. 4. c. 29. Eccles. Hist.) [...] nor a Man of them would hear (saith Peter of Alexandria) the Name of Christ.

And yet there was then a Bishop of Heliopolis, says Bishop Eusebius Pam­philus (vit. Constantine l. 3. c. 5.6.) a Bishop, that had a Flock like that of Bishop Mills, in Arabia, who had not got one Convert in his City, nor any thing else but blows (Sozom. l. 2 c. 12.) these two Bishops had fewer Souls by Seven in their Diocess to Excommunicate than Bishop Ischyras, who had but just Seven, whereas our Diocesses are as much too big, nay. Moustrously too big, as the other too little; Is there no measure in us? No Medium? No midle way for true Vertue, which always sits Enthron'd betwixt the two Extreama?

In Gospel Times, the Bishops were chosen by the People, and most Voices carried it for two, of which God chose one by Lot, the Lot fell upon Matthias, and 260 Years after (Cyprian tells us) that all the Peo­ple, that is, the Majority consented, or else no Bishop was chosen, Cy­prian l. 2. Epist 5. Convocat [...] plebe tot [...], & de universae fraternitatis suf­fra [...]io, and Caec [...]lianus was chosen Bishop of Carthage, totius populi suffra­gio, Optat. lib. 1. by the general Vote of the People. No Man was Excom­municated, (Cyprian lib. 3. Ep. 14.) nisi causam acturus apud universam plebem? Not every sneaking Register, and peaking Surrogate could send a Soul to Satan, for refusing or neglecting to give the Knave a Groat, or the like; brave Ecclesia [...]ical Discipline of Church of England! It is just so in Spain and Portugal, but not so bad as here in our (said to be) Reformed Church of England; Reform'd? In what? Oh! the Service Book is in En­glish, and made Intelligible by the Peoples alternate babling, like those il­legal Irrational, and unscriptural Mock-songs of the Singing-men, and Singing boys, to feed which Mouthing Tribe, so vast an Income is Yearly thrown away in Gathedrais, that would easily supply, together with the Sleepy Prebendaries when Vacant, all the scandalous Livings in England.

For what Heart can a poor Minister of Twenty, or Thirty pound per annum have to Study? (A Carpenter Journey man has more) be­sides out of that, Synodals, Procurations, First Fruits, Tenths, Delapida­tions, Repairs, Poor-Rates, Arms, Assesments and Taxes, besides a great deal of Money most unconscionably to the Rich Bishop, or his Secretary, for Ordination, Seven or Eight pound more for Institution to the Bishop, then to the Rich Arch-deacon for Induction, &c. though he seldom or ne­ver stirs one foot about it, but he and his Register agree to Pocket up the Money, these charges Preliminary must be payed, out of the poor Pittance, and Trade he cannot, Farm he may not, nay, Beg he may [...]; Starve he [Page 59]may, except his great Task be to Study how to get Bread, Drink and Cloaths, and how to keep out of his Creditors Clutches, Serjeants and Bum bailiffs; This is his greatest Study, and closest concern; If he can spare a Six-pence or two to buy a Printed Sermon, his Study has Books enow; whilst the Lazy Fat Prebend and Ceremony-monger, with two Livings, a Prebendry, or Deanry, and Arch-Deaconry, and two or three more (unseen) Incomes, Advantages and Pluralities, Drink Wine in Bowles, and is not affected with the affliction of Joseph, but as Red in the Gills as a Turky-cock, or his Searler hood, ever since he was made Doctor by Mandamus, or the Morrocco Ambassadour.

Vertue and Learning always Shoot low. If there he not some high, and glorious Mark set to aim at? Never greater Warriors in the World, nor more Succesful than the Old Romans: Why? They were not so big as the Gauls, much less then the Germans, nay, less then the little Don Diego the Spaniard, yet Conquer'd them all, wherefore? The Historian tells us, by the great Triumphs, Priviledges and Rewards they gave the Emperours or Generals, with all his Souldiers, which made them Fight like Mad.

This is certain; Would you have a good Army? Pay them well: A Learned Ministry? Pay them well; but do not permit (as they do in some Fish-ponds) Ten or Twenty great Jacks to devour all the small Fry: Yet too great Preferment breaks a good Back by over loading it; A Scanty mean, Presbyterlan-level of Preferments, makes Scanty and mean Schol­lars, (for who will mend his pace and pains, when fast or flow is all one, all of a price, all of one Reckonine?) And poor Scandalous Livings must make a poor and Scandalous Glergy, and reduce us again to Barbarism.

How would such a Primitive episcopacy as I have shown here, Reconcile the difference betwixt Presbyterians, & Episcoparians, & so truely construe that saying of Jerom (Epist. ad Evagrium) I know not what a Bishop has more than a Presbyter, except Ordination; which is by our Bishops, for want of Numbers, now performed by [...]he laying on the Hands of the Presbyters, in Conjunction with the great Bishop, who yet knew no more of the mat­ter, as to the Fitness of the Person Ordain'd, than the Bishop himself, viz. by Implicite Faith in oculo Episcopi, called Mr. Arch-deacon, or some Surrogate (as is usual) in his Room.

The Apostle Paul from Miletus sent to Ephesus, and called the Elders of the Church, Acts 20.17. which are there called, ver. 28. Bishops.

Nay, Mr. Mede, in his proof for Churches, in the second Century, e­vidences, That no one Bishop had more than one Altar, and that o [...]e Bishop, and one Altar were Correlates.

But Pride, Avarice, and the Pope (first) made one Bishop serve ma­ny Altars, by Curates and Journey-men, and in requital they made the Pope, The one great Bishop of Bishops, [Papa] as every bulky Bishop is usually Styled in our Ecclesiastical Histories, a Pope, Pater Patrum, [...]ay, the Pope himself called our great Bishop of Canterbury, alterius orbis Papa.

And Mr. Fuller, a great Friend to our Episcopacy, confesses (in his History of the Holy War, lib. 2. c. 2. p. 45, 46.) that Bishops were set (of old) too thick for all to grow, Tall, and to such a Height, as now, and Pale­stine [Page 60]fed too many Cathedral Churches to have them generally fat: Lid­da, Jamnia and Joppa, three Episcopal Towns, were within four Miles one o [...] a [...]other, [...]d surely many of their Bishops, to use Bishop Langham's expression, had high Racks, but poor Mangers; (Ay! this alone will breed the quarrel against all that I have said; my lean Project starves greedy Avarice, that will be ready to eat me for my pains; well, actum est de Episcopatu meo▪ this is not the way for me to get a pair of dain­ty Lawn sl [...]eves,) I have read my own Doom, and may use the Words of Bishop Chrysostome upon Heb. 13.17. [...]. The fear of that threatning [as they that must give an account] makes my [...]ul to tremble continually: And the p [...]ous Learned Bishops will thank me heartily; and those that are otherwise may live to amend: Here, has been a sad do with some of them in this poor Kingdom, and all, to keep up that Eccles [...]stica [...] Grandeur that God never made; which makes Chrys [...]stome say [in Hev. Hom. 34.] I wonder how it is possible for a Bi­shop, [...]o go to Heaven, or to be saved.

Read se [...]ously his Homilles in Tit. in Act. in Heb. and if thou hast Grace, thou wilt not so strive so for a Bishoprick; and if thou hast not Grace, thou arr not fit for a Parish-Priest; to whom Bishops allow no part of Discipline or Government, they are are only to Feed, not to Rule the Flock: But the Learned Fuller proceeds—after this Interrupti­on, ‘Neither let it stagger the Reader, if in that Catalogue of Tyrius, we light on many Bishops Seats, which are not to be found in Mercator, Or­telius, or any other Geographer; for some of them were such poor places, that they were ashamed to appear in a Map, and fell so much un­der a Geographers notice, that they fell not under it:’ No, but as little as [...] [pace tuâ, quaint Mr. Fuller] it is a great Bull] for in that Age Bishops had their Sees at poor and contemptible Villages.

The Apostles, Paul and Barnabas, ordained Eiders, Bishops, In every City, at Antioch, Iconium, Derbe and Lystra, the three last are there cal­led Cities, Acts 14.

Antioch was a great City, the third in the World, but in that almost all the Christian Inhabitants could meet together in one place to hear a Ser­mon. Act. 13.44 And I [...]onium was but a small Village, says Strabo, l. 12. [...], or [...]: And Derbe, only a Cittadel in Isauria and Lystra, only [...]. [...] Village in Isauria too; And, as for the Names of Bishops and Presbyters, or Elders, of Aldermen, they are in holy Writ Indifferently used, to signifie one and the same Grand Seigniour: Why are the Arians so condemned by the Orthodox, as Theodor, Synod. ep. l. 2. c. 8. for not being contented with small Bishopricks, and no bigger than a Bishop might superintend in his own person, If Rapin be no sin?

It was never [...] good World, since [...]he Clergy and Layety drove on two several Interests, and two Bodies distinct, and made the Church one thing, and the State another; If the Clergy endeavour to keep the people in sub­jection, and under their Girdle Canonical, by Impositions, Canons, and Acts of Uniformity; endeavouring to Lord it over God's Heritage the Layety; no wonder, that they strugle for life and liberty, and that the Feuds and Animosities betwixt them are Immortal; but they would die, [Page 61]cease and decease, If Clergy-men studied to restore sinners and erroneous persons in the spirit of meekness.

Ay, but the obstinate will not so be restored; then, let him alone, perhaps he knows more than thou dost, that art his Teacher; However, to his own Master he standeth or falleth, and thou by giving him Warn­ing hast deliver'd thy Soul; as to matters of Faith and Opinion; but as to evil works, that is the Magistrates Province and care to correct and pu­nish.

But, if we cannot fright our Parishoners, they will not care a Pin for us.

No? (you should say) they do not care for you, nor love you, be­cause you are such Scare-crows, and Bug bears, that would be; If they fear you only, they'l never love you: Do but labour diligently in the Word and Doctrine, and fear not, but that all good men will give thee of all men living (as the Apostle says, double honour, which is due to a Ruling Elder, much more to the Ministers [...]hat labour in the Word and Doctrine; though with us. (quite contrary to Scripture) The Ruling El­der, or Bishop, is the man of double Honou [...] amongst us, and the Pa­stor, or Teaching Elder, must [...]carce keep his Har [...]on in the presence of the great Ruling Bishop, to who [...] the Apostle indeed commands us to give double honour but more especially to the Ministers or Pastors, that Labour in the Word and Doctrine: Those are the most honourable, the most reverend Jure divino, if you believe the holy Scriptures. But Fops mind chiefly who speaks, not wha [...] is spoken, if it be the word of a Lord, It is with them more valued and obey'd, than the Word of the LORD.

These are unjust and corrupt Judges; but, I will not punish them, (if I had power) as King Cambyses did one of his unjust Judges of the Kings-Bench, viz. pull'd his Skin over his Ears, stuf [...] it with Straw, and there Hung my Gentleman over the Bench, in terrorem, that other Tresylians might learn to beware of undermining (the chief Pillar of any Govern­ment) the Fundamental Laws.

Since therefore, to give a Ruling Elder or Bishop more honour than a Paster, or a good Preacher, is expresly against holy Writ, as aforesaid, look you to that; but that great Scripture, which they bring to prove, that every City had a Bishop, and but one Bishop, and every Bishop had but one City, you see by what has been said, both these assertions are sufficiently prov'd to be false: though we had no other instance than in Tit. 1.5. For this cause left I thee in Greet, to ordain Bishops, [...] (that is) [...]: Greet, is an Island that [...] a hundred Cities, and was therefore called [...] in the Reign of Leosophus the Emperor, and Anno 880. there were but Twelve Bishops; but all that time, why should we imagine that they were all Christians? when the third great City of the Empire, Antioch, where Disciples were first called Christians, and bigger than any City, except Rome and Alexandria, yet had no more Christians in is, than one Church will hold, Acts 13.44. Nay, Jerusalem (where our Lord was Crucified) had so few Christians fourty years after, at the destruction thereof, that all the Christians be­ing warned by God to depart, did depart to Pella; a poor little Village, says Eusebius (lib. 3. c. 5.) held them all.

But, we will take it for granted, that Titus ordain'd in every City (in the Island of Creet) a Bishop, namely a hundred: And, which is not at all likely, that all were Christians (for till Constantines time, one Church held all the Christians in Rome; and one great Church in Alexandria held all the Christians there, as their Bishop Athanasius gives an account in his Epistle to Constantius, the Son of Constanine) yet Heylin in his Cosmeg. p. 263, says, There are in Creet but two hundred and seven Parishes, then by that account the great Bishops will get but a Plurality, two Parishes for their Diocesses.

And ever since, that Bishops first Monopoliz'd so many Parishes, all un­der their Ecclesiastical Government: There has been no Ecclesiastical Government at all, but a meer Anarchy and confusion, as at this day, and has been the occasion of setting up so many Independent Churches, to the care of themselves and one another, for whom the Ruling Bishop could not poisibly take care; E [...]grossing all Government, we have none at all but some silly face of it, in a poor surrogate and Register, that minds little else than to singer the Pence, and shear the poor Clergy and Church-Wardens twice a year, in Visitations, &c. Deliver your Purse; Poor Sheep escape better than we, they are clipt but once a year, and the Ma­ster that seeds them has the Wool, but they that shear us poor Lambs, take our Wool, but seed us not; they have it for nothing, and their great Revenues will not satisfie, but (as I said in my naked truth) It is not a sin for a rich man to rob the Spittle?

Let such hard hearted Clergy-men, who have such exceeding many Flocks and Herds, read their Neck Verse, 2 Sam. 12.5, 6. In Nathan's Parable of the Lamb, and the Sentence.

And David's anger was greatly Kindled against the man, and he said to Na­than, As the Lord liveth, the man that hath done this thing shall surely die; and he shall restore the Lamb four fold, because he did this thing, and because he had no pity.

And, what do they visit for? To see that all be Uniform; Pish! it is not to be done; they themselves are not Uniform, nor their Cathedral Worship Uniform with one another, nor with Countrey Churches, nor with the Act of Uniformity; And what harm? So all things be done de­cently, and in order, it needs not, by order of Uniformity; Nay, Pope Gregory the [...] Six hundred years after Christ, commends variety of U­sages, In unâ fide nibil officit—Sanctae Ecclesiae diversa consuetudo.

Let them show us one such Diocesan Bishop as we have got in England, In the best and purest Times, or one Bishop that ever durst pretend to Govern the Church by Implicite Faith in others, for the first three hun­dred years, or any thing like it, In holy Scriptures or any reason for it, or any possibility to discharge that heavy charge; And I'le strike out A­varice and Ambition, as the great cause, and Surrogate a better Reason in the room, and be their Profe [...]te; Nay, I'le stoop lower, I'le conde­scend to be my Lord's the Bishops Chaplain, and Apologist.

But, If all their skill cannot do it, then it is high time to Recant and Repent, that iniquity may not be our ruine: and to restore the Lamb four-fold: and because rich Dives had no more pity of his brethren, [Page 63]whom the rich Diocesan calls (according to the Style in the Primitive Church) Reverend Brother, and Brother, but looks over the head of his Brother Elder, or Presbyter, as if a Conge d'Fslier had made him a Saul, and higher by the Head, when he only Struts (being Rich) and stands a Tip-toe, but is not a better man, nor a better Scholar than he was be­fore.

It may binder his Worth and Learning, rather, by Avocations, run­ing from Ordinations, to the House of Lords, thence to the Council-cham­ber, thence to confirmations, thence to Visitations, &c. If these do not hinder a Mans Study and Improvement, I have lost my aim.

Let them but Read Mr. Baxter's Learned Book of Episcopacy, or Arch-bishop C [...]nmer's Opinion or Ordination; This latter a Learned and Holy Martyr, The former a most Learned and pious Confessour; or let them bu [...] read the New Testament, and there is little or no difference at all, betwixt a Presbyter, or Elder and Bishop; what in one Verse is called Presbyter, in the next is called Bishop; as Bethlehem the Town, is the same with Bethlehem the City aforesaid: And a Parish signifi'd the same with Dioce [...]s.

But, in alter [...]mes, when Christians Multiplyed, if a Presbyter could not Watch over all their Souls, they allowed him a Co-adjutor, and for distinction and Precedency sake called him a Bishop, who sometimes had not one Presbyter under him, as aforesaid, most commonly, but one; and till Bishops begun to Scramble for more Ground, and like other Princes to enlarge their Dominions and Jurisdictions, which was not till the Em­perour Constantine made them so bigg, that in the Fourth Century, the great Work of Councils and synods was Perambulation, to Mark out the Bounds of the [...] [...], their Parishes or Diocesses, to keep the Peace bet wixt the Encroaching Bishops in that Fourth Century, called Ambitio­nis seculum, The Ambitious Century; not that Bishops in after Ages grew more humble, or were Ensamples to the Flock, in Self-denial, Modesty, Humility and Contempt of Worldly Grandeur, and (as they say they Vow'd in Baptism) to forsake the Devil and all his Works, the Pomps and Vanitles of this Wicked World, &c. But then (first) they begun to be ambitious of large Diocesses more than possibly they could ( [...] or,) oversee; then they got Journey-men, and Surrogates, and Registers, and Apparitors, and all that Tribe; to Feed whom, the Church Wardens are the Spaniels (Sworn) to Hunt and Flush the Game, that the hovering Jar-Faulcon, the Register, may Pounce them, (there's all) and make a Prey of Poor Sinners, never to be Redeem'd, but by Silver or Gold.

The Golden Key always gets Absolution, which in Gospel Times, and the Primitive Times, never was purchased but with Tears, in the midst of the congregation (as Jerom of Fabiola, ep. ad ocean. Episcopo, Presby­teris, & omni p [...]puio Collachry-mantibus, &c. The Bishops, Presbyters, and all the People Weeping for Joy at those Peultent Tears; and at the Return of the Prodigal, mixing their Tears with his. (Heb. 13.17.) Obey them that Rule over you, for they Watch for your Souls, as they that must give an Account, &c. A woful and sad Account must that Bi­shop make, when God calls him to give an Account, which will be very [Page 64]shortly, of his Bishoprick, for he shall be no longer Bishop; Howought he to Tremble at the Thoughts of it? When in [...]ead of Watching for the Souls committed to his Charge, he has only wa [...]ch't for their Pu [...]es; And instead of Guiding them, he has sent out Doctor's Commons-men to Watch all England over in the Bishops Room: we Trace them by the Footing, at a Visitation, &c. What have they been doing? Citing. Ad­monishing, Excommunicating, Jayling, Absolving, (this Twenty Nine long Years) in all this Kingdom; What [...]en [...]en [...]s have they made? What Penance? What Repentance? Is it not a great Chear that defeats all Repentance? By Commuting (as the Papists and we say) turning the Whores Sins (by which she got Money, they Joy in her▪ for they go Ships) into Money, and a few great Whores are [...]how to Maintain all the Ecclesiastical free-booters in Doctors-Commons, she is the Thief that Pick's Men's Pockets, they the Receivers; Oh! the Jubi [...]ee's they make, when the Apparitor has found out a Rich Wh [...]re and a Rich Bastard; which (least they should miss) let the Church-Wardens look to it, for they Swear the Ecclesiastical Span [...]el (always) to quest upon a Haunt; if he do not, he is forsworn; Oh; most Preciou [...] Ecclesias [...]ical D [...]sci­pline! that begins with Perjury, and ends with Mercenary Repentance or Bribery!

Why should not the King and Parliament be as careful of their Subjects Souls as their Bodies? For they also must give an Account: But, what an Irrational account would it be, if it was to be feared, that an Enemy should Land and Invade us at Harwich or Canterbury, to say, I have set a Watch-man upon the Top of Paul's, or (to make sure) upon the High­er Steeple of Lambeth? (call to the Watch-men) is the Enemy Landed at Harwich? How angry would they be at such a non-se [...]sical Question? And say, Surely you are Mad; Do you think any Mortal Man can see from London to Harwich? Or, from Lambeth to Canterbury? There may be a Hundred Thousand Enemies Landed for ought we know; How is it pos­sible for us to Watch and Ward at this Distance?

In the [...]nte [...]im the Kingdom is well look't to. And the Coasts well Guar­ded, are they not, We are the next Door to Ruin, if more Watch men be not set, and stronger Guards, which is easie and no charge, or ex­pence at all, when the Pay (that two Watch-men have ingrost) would well pay and maintain fourty of as good Vigour and Ability, and (in some Sence) better-sighted, and better Tongu'd Watch-men, to Feed and give Warning; Or, are the wellfare of our Lands and Bodies only the care of Governours? And as for Mens Souls, one Watch-man is enough betwixt this and Canterbury?

But, (you'le say,) a Man is but a Man, he does what a Man can do? Nemo tenetur ad Impossibilia, I grant; But who bid him undertake such a Charge, that no Mortal can discharge? Who? Who think you, but Fil­thy-lucre, and Ambition.

The Council of Sardica in the Fourth Century, Anno 347. saw this Devilish mischief coming Trowling into the Church, and a perpetual strife and comest about the Borders and Limi [...]s, as Litigious, as now at Do­ctors-Commons, about the Probate of Wills, and about Letters of Admi­nistration; [Page 65]namely, who shall get the Money, whether the Bishop's or Arch-deacon's Courts of that Diocess where the Man Died, or else a P [...]ero­gative Case, by the bona notabila, of the value of Five or Ten Pounds, old doings there were; Wherefore the said Council made a Decre [...], Can. 6. That no Bishop should be made in a Village or little Town, for which one Presbyter might well suffice; because it is not necessary to make a Bishop's See there, least the Name and Authority be rendred con­temptible. There were Three Hundred and Fourty Bishops there, which exceeded the Number of the General Council of Nice, and they took care for the Honour of their own punction, yet they add, That when the Peo­ple in a Town shal grow so Numerous, a Hundred and Fifty was the Com­mon st [...]or a Presbyter's Care and Cure, Then that Village deserves to have a Bishop, and ought to have one.

By this Rule, London had need have more than Fourty Bishops; And this would wher Industry, and make M [...]u S [...]udy to be Work-men that need not to be ashamed, least the People should never chuse them, as of old they did, wherea [...] now if they can but Buy an Advowson, or next Avoid­ance, or a Patron, &c Let the People go whilstle, they are their Feed­ers and Pastors in Spich of their [...]eeths:

But, how can Men Rellish what is Cra [...]n'd down their Throats, as Ca­pon's are serv'd, or given them with a Horn like a Drench? This makes an Immortal Feud and Disgust, generally, betwixt the Physi [...]k's Patients, and their Ecclesiastical, not Father's but, Far [...]iers, that force open their Mouths, and pour down what they please; thus are the People Treated like Bru [...]es rather than Men, and Christians, they are like to be good ones; But what cares the Reading Don of the Pulpit? He crys, I am In­stituted and Inducted, come to your Parish Church, the Horse and the poor A [...]s must Graze where he is Ty'd; I'le feed you in spight of your Teeth: Ay, and Starve us too, in spright of our Teeth.

There is neither Reason nor Religion for this; If he were never so good a Physitian of Souls, all he says is accepred with Prejudice, and Dis­gustful; for let his Potion be never so wholesome, It goes against any Wife-mans Stomach to be Drench't; this is the Fault (also) of our Con­ [...]ution, and wonderful are the Inconveniences that follow this, as Ant­mosi [...]es E [...]ernal betwixt Minister and People, Suits at Law about his Maintenance, for they Pay as they Heat, only so much as they are forc't to, and as for the Care of their Souls, they'l trust him no more than they will their Bo [...]ies with a Physi [...]ian of another Mans choosing.

Patron's will lose nothing by parting with their Advowson's, not a Far­thing honestly; yes. you'le say, he may make it a Portion for his Daughter, or to his Waiting-Maid, to a poor Parson that will Leap at her

But, this is the worst of Simonies, and such never thrives no more than other Symonists a Curie attends it and blasts all; this Smock Symo­ny; In other Symonies, Money makes the Mare to go; but in th [...], the J [...]de make the Par [...]on Ride, that must otherwise have gone on Foot.

Besides, the most of the Livings in England are in the Kings Gift, At [Page 66]the Chancellours, or the Bishops, or the Universities, few have private Patron's, except Noblemen, Gentlemen and Papists, the former are all t [...]o Noble to C [...]yn their Advowion's▪ and the l [...]st, the Papi [...]is are very un­fit, nay, they are by Law Inc [...]p [...]c [...]ared after Conviction.

I [...] is certain, that, wherever the Carcase is, there will the Eagles be g [...]thered together; every Man that is at a lo [...]s for Preferment, or for great [...]r Preferment, will be sure to inquire, which is the way thither? And if Sym [...]ny, Smock Symony, or a Ceremony be the way and the Doo [...], thi­ther the Clergy make Application, it is their great Aim and Study; thence comes the common Ignorance, Lazin [...], D [...]ed and Duil Freach­ing, or rather Reading, because it is [...]asie, most in equest with the great D [...]n's that can do not better, and is therefore more acceptable than the best.

But, If you make Merit, the only way to preferment, then you will ha [...] a [...] Learned, Loving and Lovely Clergy, that will go H [...]nd in Hand, and Heart in Heart with their People, and nothing though [...]? [...] good for them; but, now what they get, is only got with Scrambling, in all places, especially in [...]luraliti [...]s.

By Pluralitles, I do not mean Two or Three Parishes, for one Pa [...]ish may be Ten times more a Plurality, (as S. And [...]ws Ho [...]born) than Twenty Norfolk or Essex Livings in some Places.

And I wish, that the Right Reverend Clergy man who was so Sa [...]aci­ous (at some little Animals are) to leave the failing House, and the e­fore left his Seat in the High Commission Court, least i [...] he stay'd any longer, it had fallen upon his Head, would also be as Sag [...]cious, as to leave his Inco [...]sistent Pluralities; what Sence is it for a Bishop to be a Deacon? For the due joining of (which two) words in Coustruction; Subintelli [...]itur, Avaritia.

And (by way of Parenthesis.) now I have Named that High Com­mission Court, I cannot but remember one word used by my old F [...]iend, Lord Jeffery, soon after in my Lord of London's case, repeated, viz. [...]ptim, we do all things here (quo [...]h he) Raptim, rashly, in ha [...]e, without thinking, without consi [...]eration, without W [...]ing, without so much as a Clark, or Register; Ay, the Wiser, for litera Scripta Manet, (but enough of that) and of Bishops, at present.

CHAP. IV. Of Ordination, &c.

I Never could understand any thing by Ordination, but what Arch bishop Cr [...]nmer makes it, a setting apart Bishops; as a Constable, a Justice, or a Judge is Ordain'd for some special work.

And the grea [...]er and more Sacred the work is, the greater and more Sacred is the Ordination.

The Church, the whole Church did this in the Gospel Times and long after; so sayes Ierom. Requiricur in Sa [...]dote ordinando etiam populi prae­sentia, the Peoples presence is necessary when men are Ordain'd▪ not as here, by a Mockery of this Ancient Cu [...]tom, Ordaining Men in a Congregati­on, who are as Ignorant as the Bishop in Reference to their Person. Con­versations, [Page]Learning or Abil [...]les; but, in the Pur [...]st and Primitive Times, they were always O [...]a [...]n'd by the Church, as well as in the Church, and sometimes by Laying on of H [...]nds of the P [...]esbytery alone, as Titus; and sometimes by the whole Church, as Barnabas and Paul, the Laying on [...]f H [...]nds was only a Jewish Custom or Ceremony, Pointing out the Persion Ordain'd, It was not the hands did any thing, none are so foolish to think that [...]x [...]ept Vertue could go out by touching, as when our Saviour touchen the Woman (not willingly) which had an Issue of Blood; none are so Blasphemously silly as to pretend h [...]t; indeed the [...]ign is taken often for the thing S [...]gnified; as, for this C [...]use Bow I the Knee to the Fa [...]her; and sine stantibus non staret mundus; and, neglect not the Gift of God that was given thee by the Laying on of the H [...]nds of the Presby [...]ery; by all wh [...]c [...] Ceremonies of Kneeling, Standing and Laying on of Hands, is only meant P [...]ayers made when they were in that po­sture; now, who can Imagin then that the Prei [...] of a Bishop i [...] more needful than the Presence of the Presby [...]ers or People, except he could Pray more heartly, and more Sp [...]ri [...]ually than the rest?

Which he u [...]ually was supposed to do, because his Worth, (no [...] his Friends, Relations, Mon [...]y or K [...]nd [...]ed) advanc' [...] him, in Gospel Times, and in the Primitive-Tin [...]s: When Timothy was Ordain'd a Bish [...]p, the Presbyters only did it, except Presbyters; and Bishops be only two Names for one person, as undoub [...]edly they are; after-times did d [...]inguish them, how? Only by P [...]ec [...]dency, as the Chair Man of a Comm [...]tee, the Speaker, he that in Sessions gives the Rule of the Court, but no better Men, nor other Character [...]han his other Brethren the Justices, or Mem­b [...]rs, except for Order sake Precedency.

And therefore for Order-sake, the Bishop with the Presbyters, or the Presbyters, or (in default) any Church Member, or the whole Church, might have L [...]id on Hands, as well as have Prayed at an Ordina­tion, thus when the holy Ghost had chosen Paul and Barnabas, th [...]y had their Mission from the whole Church, Acts 13.2, 3. Je [...]om and Chrysostom agree; that there is no difference be [...]wix [...] a Pr [...]by [...]r and Bishop; but only Ordination; and that was by Custom, as the best man, not as the sole men; he never could Lawfully Ordain but in his own Church, and his own Church Members only, and by the consent of the rest of the Members; for Bishops, for Three Hundred Years after Christ, had no more Souls in their Diocesses than they were intimately and familiarly ac­quainted with; this makes Chrysostome say, that (notwithstanding the Cu­stom of a Bishops Presence at Ordination, yet betwixt Presbyters and Bi­shops there was little or no difference (Homil. 11. in 1 Tun) [...], very little difference: and in Scripture times nothing at all; Theop [...]lact calls it, ferme ni [...]il, next to nothing; namely, Precedency; but the Church in Scripture, or the Faithful, Ordain'd as many Bishops as was needful, and may not Presbyters Ordain now, without a Bishop's Presence, as well as of old in Scripture Times, or as well as Bishops do Ordain Arch-bishops and Metropolitan's?

But, in Holy Writ, if any had the Precedency, the Presbyter had it The Presbyter's that are amongst you (saith St. Peter, I exhort, who am also a Presbyter, 1 Pet. 5.1. no greater Titles of Honour can be gi­ven [Page 68]than what Age and Nature gives, thence comes, Sieur, Monsieur, Syre, and Sir; or Father; Ma [...]am, a diminutive, of Dame, or dam, Madam, my dam, or Mother; and Age being Honour [...]ble, the greatest Title of Honour is thence deriv'd, Senior, Seniore, Seignior, G [...]and Seniore, in Spanish, Italian, and Lingua Franka; Presbyter amongst the Greeks, El­der or Alderman, or Earl, all is one derivative from Seniority; to that if People be Ambitious of a Name, Presbyter or Earl, Alderman or Earl of the Church, is far before Overseer, or Bishop; whose Diocess was at first no bigger, than that he might [...]asily Oversee it, or see over it, now it is Monstrous.

The burden of a Bishop is so great, and the danger greater in Male-ad­ministration, that [...], H [...]mil. ult 23 6. 13 in Heb. 12.17. says. [...]; What [...] for Sours? Y [...], and at his [...] too; Does not the Horrid Hazard threaten his Head?

But, what cares some Men for the Thunder of Heaven's Vengeance till it fall upon them, they are Stouter than those two Atheistical Empe­rours, Tiberius and Caligula, they would Run under Ground in Yaults and Caves when it Thunder'd; but some are as unre [...]enring as the High. Priest of Rome called Julius Caesar, that notwithstanding that he Rea [...] Di­vinity Lectu [...] in Rome to the People, was the greatest Robber and Mur­derer in the World and Sacrific'd to his Ambitious and Greedy Rapacity, the bravest C [...]mmon wealth that ever the Sun saw; but he fell in the height of h [...]s J [...]li [...]y and to shall all [...]erably, whose Portion is, as they d [...]sire, in this [...] only.

In short, the difference betwixt Presbyter and Bishop in Holy Writ is nothing at all; no not in Ordinations: As in Asrica Presbyters did Or­dain, and so now, at this day, in Germany, France. and in the most Pro­restant Churches; And must we Schismatice from Scripture? And from all the Protestants in the World to follow a Custom they got into the Greek Church. (Fourty Customs they had besi [...]es this contrary to Scrip­ture Customs) Chrysostome being a Greek Bishop; and Hierom though Writing in Latin, yet dwelling and conversing amongst the Greeks, but would never make so bold a venture as to be a Bishop, in those times so the Fourth Century, when the Task was fourty times easier, because the Province or D [...]cess was fourty times less, nay a Hundred times less than now in England and Wales, besides [...](make the most on't) is but per Civitates, alongst the Cities, which being a Hundred in Creet, and the Parisheth [...] two Handred and Seven, and not a Tenth part Chil­mans, this [...] is only sillily Construed to make such Havock [...] it has both in the State and all true Devotion.

Yet Men drink Healths to the Prosperity of the Church of England; I they mean hereby a good Health to the Protestant Head of the Church, and the Protestant Members (the only True meaning) with all my Heart, let it pass

Bu [...], if by the Church of England, they Scandalously mean, there by only the great Diocesan's that cannot possibly Watch over Sou [...]s excep [...] by [...] Faith in the Black Guard of Apparitors, Sumners, Register [...] [Page 69]Proctors, Canonists, Lay-V [...]cars, Vicar-Generals, Commissaries, Offici­als, Surrogates, (or I do not know who) at the General Randevo [...]z, and Head Quarters at Doctors-Commons; What an affront is this to the True Protest [...]nt Church of England?

I grant, that the [...] have all this whole Ragged Regiment, and by the same Names too, and for the same Service in their Popish Muster­Roll.

But, God forbid, That the Reformed Church of England should sig­nally d [...]ffer from Popish Church Discipline, not so much as Nominally, and so little really, and to purpose, that some have only been Starved to Death in a J [...]yl, and many Hundreds (and their Families) undone, whilst the Smith field Fire's were fierce indeed, but the [...]ortures did not last long; Our Marciful Hands made Men feel Death long and often, before that King of Terrors was permitted to end the Pains: Oh! blessed Refor­ma [...]n!

Y [...], you'le say, our L [...]rany is in English, the Mass Litany in La­tin; and the Saints are omitted; and Te D [...]um is [...]ung in English, or half Jabb [...]rd over unintelligibly after the firth Le [...]n; We praise thee, O God, We Ack [...]ow [...]ge thee to be the Lord, All the Earth doth worship thee, &c. All the Earth [...] wish it did; but in my little Travels, I know it is lasse; for more than half the Earth are Infidels to old Day: There we are out of the T [...]uth, whatever be the Tune; And why do all the People say this Verie? There's no Rule, no Rubrick for it? Or, is it because the Ministers are wise and know better things, and therefore will give the loolish unthinking M [...]mick's leave to tell that false Story.

But, I am quite Tyced, It is end [...]ess to find fault; I had much rather see it amended; the Common-Prayer Book is the more Amiable to me as Old Gold is more acceptable than New, it has been long Tryed and has endured the Test pretty well, which is more than can be said of any other Desultory Prayers, that like New Guinees may many times be Counter­feit; but as the most Tryed Gold will well endure, to it may sometimes need the Refiners Fire.

But as for the said Black-Guard of Sumners, Surr [...]gaces, Apparitor's, Informers, Registers, &c. that Live by the Sins of the People, it is as much beyond the Art of Man to 'mend them, as it is to 'mend a broken Cob-Web, and when you have u [...]'d your utmost skill, it will not quit cost: I have Studied the Point, and yet am I not one jot the better Artist at it, than I was Seven Years ago, when my advice (in my Naked Truth (was to dress them according to the Vertuoso's Receipt, to dress [...], viz After you have wash't them, in several Waters, then Salt them, Pepper them, and lastly, the surest way to prevent their Ma­liguity, is to throw them on the Dunghill.—A Racr—To bring the Pillory in D [...]sgrace. Fruges consumere nati, as if they were born for no o­ther end, but (like Rats, M [...]ce, Polcats, and other Vermin) to cat up the Victuals, Hunt about for a Prey, and Run Squeaking up and down.

N [...]ver was there such Church Discipline, and such Ecclesiastical Fel­lows to Manage it, in the whole Christian World (except amongst the Papists) they indeed have the like Harpyes, but every private Priest [Page 70]there is more than a Bishop here, can take Confessions; search their En­tra [...]s, and enjoyn Pennance.

Whereas we are Cumber'd with the same great Diocesan's, but every P [...]st there has Power to Rule as well as Feed the Flock; and the word [...](in 1 Pet. 5.2.) Si [...]infies both, to Rule and Feed; God commands both to every Presbyter, but the Bishops Counter-check God's Commands, and will take all the Weight upon themselves, with the help of Sumners, Notaries, Register's, &c. Well, God help them, and forgive them; they can take the Charge, and strive for [...], and think it a great Honour; Ay, so it is, if rightly d [...]arged; (which is impo [...] ­s [...]c in our present Circumstances) therefore have a care that the great H [...]nos [...]e not too great an Onus, a Burthen heavy enough to break the Back of any Mortal; no Apostle duest undertake it, but took care to leave Re­s [...]entiary Bishops in Creet, one for every Two Parishes, when the Tenth part of those were not Christians neither; but the generality of our Peo­ple also differ from [...]fi less only in Name, or the Baptismal Vow of Su­reties in Baptism, (if ever they had any) and is not worth a Rush; nay, it is [...]orse than nothing, by the P [...]rjury.

And in Italy at this Day they have many Diocesses that are not half so bigg, nor by half so Rich and Populous as the Pa [...]ish [...]s of St. Andrews-Holborn, St. Margarets-Westminster, Sr. Martins Stepney, St. Giles, and many others? yet not any of these, is thought a Charge great enough for one single Shoulder under the Bishop; whereas good St Augustine knew not how to discharge alone the Eplscopal Work of little Hippo, without Co adjutors; and in the little Teritory Adjoyning, there were many Bi­shops, (as one at the Castle Synica, near H [...]ppo; another at the Castle Eussula, ad Ecclesiae H [...]pponensis Paraeciam (August, de Civitate Dei, l. 22. c. 8 Epist 261. Epist. 68) Ecce Interim Episcopos nosires, qui sunt in Regione Hepponensi ubi a vestris tanta mala patimu [...], convenite: Aslemble our Bishops, that are in the Territory of Hippo, &c. B [...]shops that had a City to Govern, did not use to Bishop it, in the Ter [...]ory Adjoyning; the Bishop of Rome never pretended that his Diocess of Rome reached be­yond the City; for at this Day there are Forty Bishops in the Ter [...]tory of Rome and of old, there were Sixty Nine Bishops there, and not one of their Diocesles is so Great, so Populous, and so Rich as St. Andrews-Holborn.

Pope Innocent I. (Epist. ad Descentium Episcopum Eugubi. Ep c. 4) cum omnes Ecclesi [...]e nostrae intrae Civitatem Constitutae sunt. All the Churches of my Diocess are within the City; and Acts 14.23. A Bishop or Elder had but one Church. And Bishop usher (Irish Relig. p. 63.) says, that the Diocess of the Bishop of Duplin in Ireland, did not Reach over the Ci­ty Wall; tantum intra muros exercet Episcopale Offi [...]ium.

This which I have said is enough to pious Bishops; but to such as are given to Filthy Lucre, nothing will satisfie but more Mammon, more, more; even Pope Leo himself Condemns such Bishops, saying, Domìnarì magis quam Consulere subditis quaerunt, They make it their business to Do­minter, but not to Consult the Welfare of those under their Charge: Pope Gregory Appointed Twelve Bishops in the County of York, (Respon. ad 8. Interrog.)

Surely, our Bishops and great Doctors have contemptible thoughts of the Common Prayers, as a Mean, Underling Office, or else, why do they put mean Underling Curates, and Singing men, Sadlers or Coblers that can Sing, and therefore, made Deacon's to serve to Road Prayers and [...]lo [...] them, to some Tune; and as soon as that Drudgery is over, then a way goes the Quer [...]ster to his Shop, whilst the Doctor and the Bishop re­serve themselves, for the Topping Pulpit, if they say any thing, except benedicite, leaving the Common Prayer to Readers, some School-boys, not yet [...]n [...]ncipated from School-dames, will Read more Audibly and di­stinctly than many of them: In short, the Common-Prayer, if 'mended will serve for a Crutch to the Lame; and though I, blessed be God, need none, yet, the Crutch must not be thrown out of the Church; for then you must throw the Parson after it, general'y, all England over: The Common Prayer Book? Oh! 'Tis all in all, it is a Crutch to the Lame Parson, Eyes to the Blind Parson, and puts Words into the Mouth of the otherwise, Dumb Parson; nay, it is Ears too to the Deaf Disciples, and Musick Ceremony monger, the very O [...]accusticon of the Spirit; There­fore, here's my Hand to it▪ it shall have my Vote, for my poor Brethrens sake; upon condition, tho' that it be not G [...]amb'd down other Men's Throats, that need not be so Fed, but can Chew what they swallow; and also upon condition, That we do no longer exclude a great part of Holy Scripture to make Room for Tobit and his Dog, I mean, The A­pocrypha.

Have we not Apocryphal, and unscriptural Ceremony-mongers enow that fill up the Steeples and High Places in the Church, l [...]ke a great Crack't Bell, that is good for nothing but to fill up the Vocancy; But must Apo­cryphal books too Justle the Holy Scriptures also out of the Church? You'l say, the Mass-book did it before we did it: Yea, that's true; so a Popish interest also possibly brought this great Crack't Bell into a Protestant Steeple; (What does it do there?) there it hangs, but had never been hang'd so high, but that it was crack't, and good for nothing but to give an unintelligible and Jarring sound, to keep out a better, and in room of a better, it will serve well enough to make up the number of the Yea's, and the No's.

Well may this Crack't Ceremony monger dread a wise and a pious, and honest English Parliament, more than he sears either God or the Devil, more than Heaven or Hell, lest they spy this Church-Cobweb, (though it hang alost) and sweep it down, or new Cast this useless Crack't Bell.

You may know him by this certain mark; for conscious of Guilt, and of his own uselessness and Futility, (through well-grounded sear) like the murmuring Israelites, he longs for the Flesh pots of Egypt again, Egyp­tian or Popish d [...]rkness, which has cover'd (as darkness does) all his faults, this Pope Joan (in the dark) has been as good as my Lady) and a Popish King (he joyes in) to chuse, rather than Angels food, Manna, (What is it?) he knows not, he relishes it not.

For he loves Popery in his heart (as the Carpenter loves his Ladder) because it helps him up so high, to overlook his betters; Well! let him (even) march then, after his Brother Cartwright, he is fit for nothing [Page 72]so well, as to read Common-Prayer in the French Protestant Chappel in the Castle of Merli.

Thus have I run him to an Inavoidable Dilemma, one of the Horns whereof must Gore my Ceremony-monger; for, it he obstinatly persist in his irrational and illegal Ceremonies, the Law and the next Jury de­prives him by his own Celebrated Act, The Act of Uniformity, which condemns all Ceremony mongers, and all Ceremonies, not contained in the Common-Prayer Book; and then the King may in the Vacancy (with­out Invading any mans propriety, like Queen Elizabeth) put this unpro­fitable and impossibly to be performed Nusance to its proper use, and to a good use.

But, if he Recant, Abhor, Repent and Forsake his Illegal and Popish-like Ceremonies, we have got the day, he is converted to be a good man; and will then voluntarily relinquish that burden, which no mortal can bear, for fear of the Torments Eternal, which none can bear; the saying of St. Chrysostome (in Heb. 13 7. H [...]mil ult. 24) will penetrare his hard Heart and [...]cared Conscience [...] &c. I wonder in my heart ( [...]) [...] it is posh [...] for a chief Bishop in the Church to be saved, &c. High Priest Aaron said, Nolo E­piscopari, Moses also was as loath to come into the Collar, Send by the hand of whom thou wilt send, said he, in a Pet, to God Almighty; fore­seeing the dreadful burthen: St. Chrysostome in that Homily says in effect, concerning a great Bishop, as one said of an Executor, viz. If I had a mind to send a man to the Devil, I would make him my Executor, and if I had a mind to send a man to the Devil, I would make him a great Lord—Bless me! That vain ambitious man should hope to comb Hea­ven by that very sin of Haughtiness and Pride, which made Lucifer a De­vil.

I well know that in this Juncture, every Projector is full of his Notion, which may do well to in Utopia, but is not practicable here.

And I'le Answer such well-meaning Noddles (is a grave Senator of Old Rome did his pious Friend, that brought him an excellent Model of Government) my Friend? This would do well in Plato's Common-wealth, but it is not feazable for us who live in the Dregs of Romulus.

But nothing is here propos'd but what is easie, good for all, sound, pure, primitive and practicable, as well as profitable, and hurts no bo­dy, no not the great Diocesan and sleepy fat Prebend, in their present Incumbencies and Possessions, if they can (with a safe Conscience) con­tinue them.

For St. Chrysostome is bolder with such Bishops as are so addicted to fil­thy Lucre, that he quite incapacitates their for the place, [...] in Ep. ad Tat. c. 1.) [...], & [...], [...]; hic ut indigenus Sacerdotio est removendus; Let him be Depos'd, nay Degraded, as unworthy of that holy Function.

Some Repairs of necessity must be done, as the Wisdom of a Pious King and Parliament shall think meet, upon those that have by their filly, illegal, and foppish, and Popish-like Constitutions and Ceremonies, re­duc't [Page 73]all true Devotion to a meer Pharisaical and Out-side Superstition, (which is also very silly and non-sensical) to boor.

Does not St. Cyprian tell us, (Ep. 68.) That in the Ordination of Sa­binus, the Bishoprick was conferred upon him by the Suffrage (that is, the Vote) of the whole Fraternity, or Brethren, and by the Judgment of the Bishops that mee together in our presence? &c.

That Exhortation in the Common-Prayer-Book, before the Communion, concerning the quieting of a troubled Conscience, (when the guilty person thinks himself not qualified sufficiently for the receiving that blessed Sa­crament) gives the Minister power of Absolution; that is, power of the Keys, the Church Keys [good reason] of his own Church, whereby I judge, that every Minister has power to loose what any R [...]gister, or Bishop, or Surrogate, has [...]ound, if he think fit, tho' they also have bound the Spirit down to Hill, or his body afterwards lies bound, for want of Ab­solution, in a ayl; I think, a Minister has power, like Orphtus, to setch him back from Satan, but not from the Jaylor; is not this to give the power of the Keys to a Minister by the Stature or Common Prayer Book, which the common practice or Canons do not allow or admit? This is to give and take again; this is to give we do not know what; this is to give the great Bishop more eyes, than those same large eyes, called Arch­deacons; this is to give Ministers the power that Christ gave them, to Ru [...]e and Feed, for [...] in 1 Pet. 5 2. Signifies both Feed and Rule, and one as much as the other, God has joy 'd them together, and wo be to him that sepatates those whom God hath joyned together, only to gratifie his own ambitious and avaricious Claw, that grasps more than it can possibly hold, and by endeavouring to be Mr. Do all, becomes Mr. Do ill; this is to mock the Presbyrery, give and take again: this is just like the silly Charm, In-Dock, Out Nettle. Ye shall, saith the Stature; Ye shall not, says the Present Discipline; here is wise work, and most cou­sounded clashing, and irreconeileable Ministrations Ecclesiastical; well, it is well (in Apology) that we can say, it was made in haste; but, we have had time to 'mend it: Yes? but, those that Steer'd then, must have acknowledged their Frailty, Weakness and Mortality, which flesh and, blood cannot deny, but is most unwilling to grant and coufess; which Popish (English, not Italian) pride, I fear, will put in a Caveat, as formerly, a­gainst Reformation.

Never could any Bishop or Priest, (with whom I ever yet did discourse the point, either here or beyond Sea) alledge any Reason, why the Pres­byters should not be helps in Government, rather than filly and Rascally Registers, Sumners, Officials, Canonists, &c. except that the work be­ing divided amongst his Brethren, in time the Wages would be divided also; whereas the other Free-booters Ecclesiastical, or rather Mongrels [party-per-pale,] Lay-Elders, went, no purchase no pay, and perhaps gave Money too, to purchase such a spiritual Letter of Mart; Ay, and get good Booty too by the Venture.

In short, such monstrously bulky Bishopricks, as now we have, has formerly been found too dangerously big for the King and Kingdom, as well as uneasie for the people, and [like a Shoe, too big] useless, ex­cept [Page 74]it be stuft out with those said refuse Stuff and Excrements, Sumners, Registers, &c. or, if a great Shoe be too disparaging and disagreeing: Metaphor for such High-Top-Knots Ecclesiastical, (the Pride as well [...]s the Mode of our High Church Man) [...] compare them to the poor [...] that has got the [...], which [...] the poor Limbs, to make a mon­strous great Head, stuft like a Bladder, sometimes with more Wind and Vapour than Brains: Verifying the Proverb, A great Head and little [...], not, that the Diverb is always true, but it is often so when a Whore or a Jesuite made that great Head; so, that the Head had never grown so Ghastful a Portent, had it not been for a very carnal Heart.

Me thinks it looks like Tom a Lincoln, (the great Cathedral Bell there) too big for use, or to call men to Church, it would well make ten good and useful Bells, if well Cast, whereas now it serves for nothing but a show; and only the name Rings all the Kingdom over, but good for no­thing but to be gaz'd at, and admir'd by Women and Fools, for its huge Dimensions: And is certainly a too much overgrown thing, since the days of the Martyr Ignatius, Bishop of Antioch, and contemporary with some of the Apostles, when he says, Every Altar should have a Bishop, meaning certainly a Presbyter, or something very little different; Nay, in his E­pist. ad Smyr. he says, It is not lawful without the Bishop to Baptize, or hold a love Feast, or any Ecclesiastical Assembly, &c. Certainly then a Bishop was not Omnipresent, or an Ubiquitarian, or else nothing like to the Bi­shops Office (at this day) amongst us performed.

Shall we call those separate Congregations, Schisms, from the Catholick Church, when they keep to the Primitive Rule from which our Consti­tution has swerv'd? What Vote Avarice and Ambition had in making such a Constitution by President from the Hierarchy of Rome, let others judge, I shall not Dogmatically determine.

But, (some say) Tho' the Bishop cannot see from the Cathedral what is done all over the County, Shires and Towns of his Diocess, yet he can Ride about, and go the Rounds, and Visite them; and so he is bound to Go or Ride once in three years.

And what Improvement is made by such Triennial Visits in any thing except his Purse, and the thing he calls Confirmation? Can he possibly be a sufficient Shepherd and Bishop of Souls, or Physitian of Souls, that has not so much as spoke with, or visited one of a thousand in his Diocess?

Nay, grant that he do nothing else all the year (if it be not a Parlia­ment year) but visit his Flock, we'll grant him for every Town, Village or Parish two or three days in one year, and by that account, in that two days, he cannot have Examin'd above the tenth part or Tyth of the Pa­rish, nor heard their Causes and Complaints, for above one tenth part, and what shall become of the other nine? Nay, what shall become of that same tenth part till the next years visit; the Patient may be dead in that time, as well as all the nine, that get no relief from his Episcopal hands.

Oh! but other Curates, Journey-men, and Apparitors, &c. do the Work for him; that Surrogated folly has been sufficiently Answered al­ready, not but that sometimes he may by Implicite Faith, shooting at Rovers, hit the mark, but it is no the Blind-man shot the Crow, more by Luck than by Wit.

In short, when a bounteous Prince publishes the Bines betwixt a nee dy, greedy Doctor, and a great Fat, Bulky, Unweildy Bishoprick, the Match is food made up, generally, tho' Conscience ( [...]arried a little at the Tremendous Account and impossibility and impotency of perfor­mance) does whisperingly perhaps forbid the Banes; Avarice and Am­bition are leud and loud Speakers, and can soon silence the Whisper of a Conscience, that like some drowsie Judge, is scarcely awake, when he passes Sentence: And the Contract once Solemnized publickly in the Church, the Divorce is not so easie.

No? Is not the Divorce easie in case of Impotence, and Impossibility of giving the Church due benevolence, the only design and end of such a Contract? The Civilians cheat us, if such an impotence be not a sufficient, a lawful and necessary cause of divorce; Nay, worse, it is (some say) ip­so facto void, where there is Error personae, or not a sic man for the turn: But, I'le urge no Parabolical Arguments so far as, (of I lift) I can make them go; if before God, and in foro Conscientiae they can answer it, I leave them to those two Judges; Is it any wonder to see a Church bar­ren and unfruitful of any thing, but Puppet-like, and Apish, as well as ir­rational Ceremonies, superficial and perfunctory Devotions, (the only fruits of such Decrepit Sons of the Church) which are begot, when im­potency is supply'd by Fumbling Registers, Apparitors, Lay-Chancetours, or Lay Elders, and forsworn Church-Warde [...]?

Sr. Paul (indeed) had upon him the care of all the Churches; name­ly to advise them, and leave Presbyters and Bishops to Guide, Rule and Feed them, but, did not Excommunicere, or Ordain by implicite Faith: When Presbyters were Ordain'd, he left the whole Government and Management of the Church to their care and prudence; but he never undertook the Load of a whole County, two or three, upon his own single Shoulders, least with such a Weight he could never mount Heaven, but [...] be cast down to the nethermost Hell, and become a cast-away by Male-Administration, and Impossibility of performing that Office and Undertaking. The Apostle himself could not manage a Plurality.

A Plurality? What's that? Not such a thing as it is commonly taken and accepted to be, viz. two or three poor Parishes; for one Perish (such as St. Andrews-Holborn) has twenty times more people than twenty Countrey Parishes, so unequally are Parishes divided, both [...] to Num­bers and Estates: A Plurality then is more people than any one man can probably visit and regard, either by reason of their numbers, or distance of place; no men did rule or feed the people (in the Scripture times, purest and primitive times) by Proxies, Journey-men-Curats, Sureties, Registers, Surrogats, or Implicite Faith; 'tis Non sence all over, as well as Irreligious, until blind men can learn to see (as our great men do now) by other mens eyes, and implicite Faith: I grant, that the blind Beggar of Bednal-green did do his business by the eyes of his Dog and a Bell, and got (they say) thereby a great Estate, but, still, in Spirituals, it will not hold good, and if it would, it would be no great honour for a Bishop, to be accounted, the great Blind-beggar-Ecclesiastical; yet, so he must al­ways [Page 76]ways beg the Question, and do his great Church-works, by blind impli­c [...]te Faith, or else be cannot possibly do business.

Therefore, some Repairs must of necessity be done, and in time too, or else a Church so Cr [...]zy in her Discipline, and [...]o Non sensical in her Cere­monies, cannot stand long, propl [...] how we can.

The Papists upholds theirs with Dragoons, Constables, Jaylors, Summers, Registers, [...]ng m [...]n, and the Inquisition, with Cu [...]ses, An [...]them [...] [...]. To [...] and Jayles; if [...]ny body m [...]k [...] [...] [...]ment of like Props, they'l [...]d th [...]m [...], and give them the slip now in there day, and [...], when Governours (whose duty it is) to Reform, do negl [...] [...]o long [...] years ago in [...] the people could beat no longer, and took them to do; but the people are but Tinker-like Re­for [...]ness; if they mend one hole; they make two.

Force and Jayles, Impositions, & [...] [...]ght do in the Days of Ignorance, A German Writer tells us, ‘That the people were [...] [...]illy there, before [...] ­ther's time, and so Devoutly priest-ridden, that i [...] the priests had [...] them, they would have Eat G [...]s, as our Asses and Ja [...]s do.’

But, those happy Days are done and past; nor must we expect such suc­cess; formerly the Pe [...] were the only Clerks, the only Schollar [...], and the G [...]ntry went to no School, but the Dancing School; but now qui [...] con­trary, the G [...]ntry are the most Accomplish' [...] Vertuoso's, [...] knowledge, and the great Accomplishment of a Clergy Ceremony mon [...]er, is [...] to [...] his [...], bowings, and Alamode postures Ecclesiastical [...] the two Art demiss. (those two Fountain) of such Dancing [...]ature, [...] Ceremonies; wherein, being pretty well improv'd so Seven Years, [...] hot and long a Skirmish of Ergo versus Ergo, is but Addressing to [...]me [...] Chamber maid, or Groom to a Patron that has a void Living in his G [...] and he is forthwith, by the help of Implicite Faith, made free of the [...] pit; This may be done, because it is frequently done, and then the Flo [...] are no [...] guideable by such a Novice; but go to the Conventicles, and [...] out for better Pastures; What then? Then they are prefound; and [...] then? Then the Registers Shears them takes their Fl [...], and [...] go, to [...] more Wool against the [...]x [...] the next Vis [...] ­on, which begins (as all other matter of that Nature) with a Nomin? [...] [...] to be ready to pay th [...] [...] to the Registers, whi [...] the Bishop's great E [...] [...] is getting himself a [...], with Wine and Oysters; [...] nex [...] Question is — I D [...]ncer R [...]ady? Then, after Dinner, call [...] to pay; there the poor C [...]ergy mu [...] pay again after D [...]er, when the had pay'd for it once before, in their Procucations, and Synodal [...], [...] they Eat a bit: well, the World grows worse and worse, Old Bishop Humfrey, Late Bishop of London, did, indeed, makes us pay our Visie, o [...] Pro [...]ations (incended and given at first) to be [...] charges, and pay the Common Reckming, and so he did; we never pay'd Twice, but that la­novation came in, as soon as he was Dead.

Then after [...]nuer to Church they go again, (when the Clergy are Short to do as much to the Church-Wardens, and Swearing them to be forswor [...] (for no Man ever did or can keep that Oath,) sometimes a Church-Wat [...] den [Page 77]pays Four or Five Shillings, sometimes Two Shillings and Four pence; the Sell-Soul seldome refuses ready Money, then take in their Present­ments, and having thereby notice where the Covy lies, by the help of his Stalking horse, (the Apparitor,) he catches some to be sure in his Net, whence they never escape, but with the loss of some Fathers at least.

Well, may the Fops say, Here's a Hea [...]th to the Church of England, for never did any Sickly Church stand in more need thereof; if by the Church, they mean, the said Black Guard, and Ragged Regiment of Sumners, Jay­lo [...], Sworn (I had almost [...]aid, for [...]word) Church-Wardens; Appari­tors, Registers, Surrogates, Officials, and Ceremony-Mongers; here's an Ecclesiastical Body of a Church for you, the like of it is no where in the World; for though the Papists have the same Tools, and for the same use, and by the same Names called and known, yet every Priest Secular, be­sides the Swarming Monks, and Itinerary Frier's) performs more Ecclesi­astical Discipline in their way▪ than the best Bishop does here, in making Pen [...]nes; Is it not high time for our Governours to Imitate our blessed Saviour, and make a Whip of small Cords, and Slash these Ecclesiastical money-changers our of the Temple?

When [...]urrs get into the Church, the Sexton does not stand asking how they came in (when he sees the Doors stand open) but Whips them out▪ Even so, it is a folly to spend time in inquiring how these Ceremony-mon­g [...]s, and Ragged Regiment got so high into Church, but Slash them out: For tho' the favour of a Jesuite or a Court-Whore, might have done Won­ders in pu [...]ing a great Fapping-Cap upon my Ceremony-monger's Head, yet I cannot Imagine how they could open his Skul and put in more Brains, except Schollars and Wits could be made, (like Knights) by Dubbing, or as Kings make Lords, by Letters Patents.

Not, but that the Vulgar, and the Fool himself thinks himself some bo­dy for W [...]t, and knowledge (forsooth) Vertue and Valour, more than before his Father or Elder Brother Dyed, or before he got (I know how) to be a Court-favourite.

But, Anatomize and Rip him up, and you will not find him to be made of Clay one jot more Refined, then the other Mortals, by the Sound or Title of Honour; but he that was a Fool and a Coward before, is to still, tho he had Fools Fortune, the luck to have a King for his God-father, an [...] to give him a Name, but, in all other respects, he is just as God Almigh [...] made him, and as his Sin and Ignorance has Polluted him, only a great de [...] more Lofty, and Confident, (I dare not say) impudent, Proud and High.

But the Canons of our Church, now in force, I'le prove, foreseeing the Arrogance Ecclesiastical, took care (as well as our Saviour did) to pre­vent it; nay, even in Minute matters, such as that, namely, That a Bishop should not suffer a Presbyter (his Reverend Brother) so much as to stand bare, or keep off his Hat in his Presence, and Imitate our Saviour in Wash­ing his Disciples Fee [...], both of those Significant Ceremonies had no other meaning, but the Ruin of Prelatical Pride, which begun amongst the very Twelve Apostles, as soon as ever they came from Receiving the Sacrament or first Holy [Page 78]at S [...]ife amongst themselves, who should be Pope, or Arch-bishop.

Just like the Mother of James and John, the Love of Prelatical Price made her Pray (such was the height of her Devotion) that her Sons might fit Check by Jowle with our Blessed Saviour upon the Throne, one on the Right Hand, and the other on the Left, let not my Ink, herein, seem too Corrosive; it is the more proper Remedy to cure this spreading, Cancrous and Ecclesi [...]stical Ring-worm, that defaces the Beauty of a Church-Man, making him more like Lucifer than Christ, who was meek and lowly.

I have compar'd Popeth Prelacy (which I have s [...]en beyond S [...], as [...]ll as Read of) with our English Prelacy, and I profess in the prescence of Al­mighty God, and before Men, that I could not discern any the least diffe­rence, within nor without, more than what was between two Crows-Eggs; no specifical difference, but mostly Individual, and where there is any dif­ference, the Papists have much more Reason for theirs, than we have for ours.

For an Italian Bishop has not the Hundredth part so big a Diocess, nei­ther in N [...]mbers, not Extent, as is the Bishoprick of London; nor scarce a Twentieth part of the Value; and yet in that little Extent of a Diocess he has a hundred times more Presbyters to help him in Discipline, or Pen­nance, then the [...] of London; we are suffered indeed (if We Bleare the Bishop) to Prea [...] sometim [...]or to Feed, but as to Church-Discipline, we are just so many Cyphers; [the Papists defrand the People of half the Sacrament, and the Bishops take from their Brethren the Presbyters half the Work of a Presbyter; that they may be the Domini Doe all's, and yet they can­not do at all, except by Sell-Soul Registers, and Sumners, of whom a Pres­byter is but the meer Eccho: What a Church have we got? The Rulling Elder, in Scripture, i [...] worthy of double Honour, but especially the Preach­ing Elder, that Labours in the Word and Doctrine, but quite contrary with us: For the Preaching Elders is no body to the Register, Bishop or Arch-bishop, who if they be not Ruling Elders, are some of them nothing at all; for Preach they do not, Rule they cannot, except by Proxy, Su­reties or God-father's, and Implicite Faith; Where lies their chief use [...]hen, more than of old, [...], and Antiquated Statutes, long laid aside amongst old Almanacks, and out of Date?

Ay, say some, but old things and old Men must not be cast away: No, God forbid; no more then Novices or little Children; but, wo be to that Land whose King is a Child, and the Land Rul'd by Sureties, God-Fathers Proxies, and Administrators; so wo be to that Church whose Ecclesiastical Men are Nozices, or Antiquated, and Twice Children, an old Lawyer is not cast away, when he casts himself off, as unfit for the Bar, being half Deaf, and half Blind; 'tis time to have done, when Nature gives a Man—his Quietus est.

Oh! but no matter who does the Work, (say some) yet the Profits, the Profits, the Wages, the Wages.

To that, I'le Answer; Avarice, Ava [...]ice, (which made an Apostle [...]ell his Lord) the work, the work, which none but a God that is Omnipresent [...] discharge honestly, except by Deputies and Curates, a Name unknown [...] and the Primitive Church, till Pride and Covetousness [Page]would stoop to that Load, that is enough to break the Back of any Mortal, bonâ interim Conscientiâ fremente intùs & objurgante, saltem susurrante meliora; we hoped, and are still not without some hopes, that as we have lately chang'd our Popish Task-Master, our Popish Bondage also would have been eased; for it is meer Hypocrisie, and Mocking of God, to make a Thanks­giving for our D [...]llverance from Slavery and Popery, if we be only Trans­lated, Latin into English, and the Amendment only in words, meer words, of the same Tenour and Signification, and are really Comrades Ecclesiasti­cal and Prelatical, whom our Lord has Condemn'd, in every thing, ex­cept for Order or Methods sake, our Saviour has past a Sentence against all Spiritual Lordships, but Temporal Lordships, and Temporal Lords only does he admit, Excluso Clero.

I know not how, when, or how soon it shall come to pass, but the time shall come, (I'le say with my Saviour.—Mat. 15.13.) that every Plant which my Heavenly Father hath not Planted, shall be Rooted no.

The Devil and the Popes made certain Laws called Canon-Laws; and to encourage Men to profess the Magick or Black Art, a thing was advanc't called a Professor or Doctor of Cannon-Law, and we are such Wise Re­formers, as to Chuse our Officials, Commissaries, Registers, and Chancel­lours out of this Rubbish; it will cost a Man honestly 500 l. before his Son can he Free of the Sell-Soul Trade; but then; then, when he happens to have a Sell-Souls Place given (given said I? Fool that I am! I mean grant­ed) to him, when he gets understanding to know the English of Conside­ratis Considerandis, or the meaning of a Gratulty, an Income or a Fine, he may get the Devil and all of Money, and a Purse as large as his Conscience. As for Instance: I my self Read an Absolution in my Church of All-Saints. lent to me from Doctors-Commons to publish, in pain of the Law; namely, I must cure a Young Lady, by Absolving her, that was Excommunicated, for breaking her Leg, or coming before her time; and because she was loath to Repent, she punish't her Purse, sent up the Guinees to Doctors-Commons, where a Proctor, that shall be Nameless, for 'tis usual, Swore in my presence before the Vicar-general, in animam Dominae, for the Soul of his Mistriss (the said Young Lady whom he never saw, nor ever will see, for she is Dead) that he did believe her very penitent, for her Sin of Fornication; 'tis true, she never spoke to him, nor to the Register, nor to the Vicar, nor Surrogate, nor to any of that stabble, but her Guinees did, to my knowledge; this is no telling Tales out of School, for I always defy'd them and all their Works, they are so profligate, and pro­stitute, without shame, or Conscience.

A Whore in Rome may have a pardon or Absolution for a Julio or two, and for Twelve Royals (a Noble English Money) in Spain or Portugal: but our Sell-Souls have no Conscience in them; if they get a Rich Whore into their handling: Besides, The papists Colour over the pick pocket Ra­pin, with Enjoyning some penance, as to say Forty Ave-Maries, or sit all Night Naked upon a Cold Stone, to Cool and Mortifie them at least, to Colour the Robbery of their Purses; but our [...]i [...]ciplineri [...]ans bare [...]ac't, bid you deliver your Purse, (full of Guinees sometimes) or else go to pound, or pind-sold, (the Devil) and Jayle; but open your Purse, and you sha [...] not need to open your Mouth, and confels your Sins.

I have seen a great part of this Moety, or one side of the Globe of the World, and somewhat of the other Hemispheres beyond the Aequator, but in all my Travails, Read­ing or Discourses, I never me [...]th such a Ro [...]en, Senceless, Shameless Church Disci­pline, as ours is, for it is nothing but a Money-matter, without any Sconce, or Colour; the Papists are as bad, but more Cunning and modest Sinners, they have some Cloak for their Knavery; They Worship Mammon their god, as much as any Church of England Man does, but they make some presence of Penance, and Repemance.

Nor is there a Church of England-man that will ever come to Heaven, but, before he comes there, he will and must thank me (or such as me) for stopping his Carreer to Hell, (full speed) without Check or Remotie; they'le find, that neither Almighty God, nor the People will long be Mocked.

If they can defend their Baal and Babel like Christians, Schollars or Gentlemen, let them come forth and Answer me; but, hitherto they never durst Encounter my Na­ked Truth's, but with a Pick't sury, that Credited a single Witness, in Contradiction to Five unconcern'd and unby ast, as well as substantial Witnesses; (but neither God nor any King has Pardoned Perjury, there is a time for all things.) It was well for him, as well as for me, that I fell into the Hand's of a Noble Person, that Scorn'd to make Money of his Honour, promising upon his Honour, that he would never take advantage of that Verdict of 2000 l. till I should Commit some other Crime, that might deserve so great a Penalty; whereas Truth, and Reformation is so far from being a Caime, that none can have such a Thought, but an Athiest, or he that defies all honesty & the God of Truth,

The God of Heaven then has Decreed, that Pride and Cruelty prelatical, shall have a sudden and Dreadful fall; stand clear there, and look to your Heads, for prope it, and shoulder it up who will, they have been, and still shall be Buried in its Ruines.

Oh! but the popishly invented Writ de Heretico Combutendo is taken away by Act of Parliament! Yea, I do not say that prelates Burn Dissenters, (they cannot if they would) but there has been Ten times more Ruine to Families by Cruel and long Imprisonments, by Vertue of that other-popishly Invented Writ, de Excommunicato capicndo, that had the same Original and End with the Burning-Writ; they were neither of them plants which my Heavenly Father hath planted, and therefore you know their doom.

Pillories. Excessive and Vnmerciful Fines, (the late cruel Whippings of Gentlemen is a new Invention, the Welsh Monster must have the Honour of that base Cruelty, that even the Bloody Romans never used to any that out liv'd the infamy, nor to any, but such as were Condemn'd; Does not the Welsh Perilius deserve to Roar by reason of his own Brazen Bull? That the Welsh Blood of his back may Refund a little for the English Blood so shamefully Slash't out, and Spilt; but, (I say,) pillories. Excessive and Vn­merciful Fines, Imprisonments Eternal and to Death, (devising thereby Hell upon Earth,) cropping off Eare, Imposing of silly ceremonies, and Arbitrary Taxes, and Oppressions, (in the Reign of little Arch-bishop Laud) were the occasion at least (I well remember) of so many Dissenters, and the peoples pretence (at least) of Rasing in Arms, which were not laid down with his Death, north crimes and Blood Expiated, bu by comitting greater, in ayn unnatural, and Bloody civil War of tweny long years standing.

But, the Sarcasme put upon Arch-bishop Laud, by (Archee) the King's rester, I cannot forgive; in any other Man; namely, when at his Request, King Charles I, ad­mitted the Fool to say Grace (his Grace little Dactor Laud then in presence) viz.

Great praise be given to God. And little Laud to the Devil.
For prelates, were the peoples Love and Hate.
Cry'd down, and once (by Chance) cry'd up of lates
(Rancour to the pope and popish Sta [...]e)
And English popery shal have the same fate.
(With last Years Almanack) quite out of Date.

For a Ceremony-monger (that Church-Cob-web) can no more be mended (as a­foresaid) then other totter'd and broken Cob webt, and if you could, 'tis not worth the while; a Broom will do it: However, some repairs are as speedily as necessarily to be done: least England become Allegorically Famous (as Denmark is in a literal Sence) for abundance of Wood-cocks, with long Bills, gay-feathers, narrow Tongues, and little Brains.

FINIS.

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