O Brazeel: OR, The INCHANTED ISLAND.

NEW Discoveries of late, are as much admired as Miracles of old, and as difficultly believed, notwithstanding the variety of apparent proofs which demonstrate their undoubted Verity; and without question this Increduli­ty proceeds from no other cause, than the abuse of Belief, occasioned by such monstrous Fictions as the Isle of Pines, A New World in the Moon, with the like Lunatick Stories, by which the credulous World hath been misguided into a Faith wholly preposte­rously erroneous and ridiculous.

That our present Discourse of this New Disco­very of O Brazeel, may not be suspected of the like lying Reports, it will be requisite to inquire whether there was, first, ever any such place? and next, whether yet it hath a being?

That there was an Island called O Brazeel, I need not bring any other proofs or demonstrations to confirm that Opinion, than your own observations out of Strabo, and other ancient Geographers, in whose Maps you may find both the Island, its name, and scituation; yet of late years it hath not been seen, for which cause, some imagine that being but a small tract of Land, it is either swallow'd up by the Sea, or that the Island is Inchanted. We have greater Reasons to believe the latter, if we consider the various Reports have been spread abroad of late by such Sea-men, who by their several Affidavits have avouched they have seen this Island, but could not reach it, by all the skill they had in Navigation. And I that which most induced them to believe this must be that Isle so much talked of for its Inchant­ment, was, That it appeared in that part of the G [...]ean where they never saw Land before, and over which they frequently have Sail'd.

I could instance several Reports of Fishermen, who at several times have seen it, but that I fear those Relations will be look'd on as the Chimaera's of a junior Quixot, or foolish Fictions, undeserving the Registry of a serious and judicious memory, since they seem to give Tom Coriat the Lye, and run away with the Whetstone from our famous Knight­ly Mandevil.

However I cannot let pass what I heard from se­veral of these Discoverers, who told me, they saw this Island (no blue Cloud, as I would have persua­ded [Page 3]them to believe, but a long tract of firm Land) whereupon they bore up to it; yet notwith­standing they made all the Sail they could, in Ten hours Sail they seem'd to be farther from it, than when first it appeared to their view.

Another told me that he saw it, and thereupon made up to it (hoping to be greater than ever that great Usurper Trinkelo, or at least be Vice-Roy of this Inchanted Island.) The Sky was serene, the Sea smooth, and hardly a breeze of wind stirring, when he made this attempt, and therefore was extremely troubled he could make no better way. Whil'st he was thus perplexing himself, the Island seem'd to float unto him with such celerity, that in a little time he could discover Rocks, Trees, and men of a prodigious stature, who as they mov'd, look'd like walking Oaks, whose shaggy bushy hair outvy'd the spreading of their leav'd branchy tops; and the waving of their hands, resembled much the turning of our Wind-mills Sails. On the shore, he saw in­finite numbers of seeming Beasts of several shapes, and all so dreadful and horrid to look on, that he could endure the sight no longer; wherefore tack­ing, he stood away in such distraction, that he scarce­ly knew what he did: and that which contributed thereunto as much as his fear, he was immediately encompassed with a Mist so thick, he could not see his hand before him; yet could he see on the sides of the Vessel, the Masts and Yards, innumerable small lights, which shifted their stations, and interchanged [Page 4]one with another, at length they all incorporated together, whence proceeded a great and unusual slash of Lightning, attended with dreadful claps of Thunder; after which, the Air grew clear, and se­rene again, but could not discover the least mark of what he had seen before.

A Third gave me this Account of the Island: That being one day abroad a fishing, he discovered Land where he never saw any before; and resolving to run the same hazard his Brethren had done be­fore, he made up to it: coming within Musket-shot, as he imagin'd, he was saluted with such a Broad­side of Thunder, seconded with Lightning, and such a tumbling Sea, that had he not made all the Sail he could homeward, he had undoubtedly slept in Da­vid Jones his Locker. In his return, he found the Needle of his Compass useless, whereupon he try'd another, and found that the like; and therefore it was needless to apply himself to either.

The last Report I shall give you, is thus: A Ves­sel being bound for the Westward, and coming un­der the same Latitude where this Inchanted Island is said to be scituate, she was suddenly surprized, and involved in a Mist, yet stood under a very stiff gale; whereupon she endeavour'd to lie by, but could not, for she would not answer to her Helm. Whilst the men were chasing and cursing, one instantly cry­ed out, Land! Land! Helm-a-lee, for the love of God. The Master being alarm'd at this dreadful noise, look'd out, and saw huge high Rocks just up­on [Page 5]his very Bowe; whereupon crying out sudden­ly to Heaven for mercy, those Rocks and Land ad­joyning immediately, seem'd to drop a Curtsie un­der water, and the Master thought the Vessel sail'd clear over them. These strange and seeming in­credible Reports, made me very inquisitive after the truth thereof; and in all my inquiries I found the Relations of others so agreeable to the former, that they only differ'd in some few circumstances: from them all I gather'd what was most probable, and made a report thereof to some ingenious men of my acquaintance, who at first smiled at my fond Credulity, and blamed my over-forward faith in believing a company of ignorant Fellows, who had neither reason, nor sense enough to distinguish a blue Cloud from Land, which afar off looketh of the same complexion by reason of its distance; and endeavoured to jeer me out of my opinion, by tel­ling me it was as ridiculous as to think there are multiplicity of Worlds, or that one wherein we live, had its matter and form from a confused con­flux of Atoms; however, I could not be dispossest of my persuasion, but persisted therein, till I was farther confirmed by a Dream, wherein I thought I had a view of the whole Isle, and its Inhabitants; and thus it was:

My brain not any wayes disturb'd by Fumes pro­ceeding from an over-running Cup, which are causes of phantastick Dreams, I fell asleep in a Summers [Page 6]afternoon, and dream'd I saw an Eagle unnaturally great, soaring in the Air; whilst I was wondring at his greatness, he immediately stoopt, and took, me up within his tallons, and flew away with me with in­credible celerity over Mountains and Vallies, and at length brought me to the Sea-side: where having rested a little while, he took me up again, and car­ried me to an Island; and having set me down, vanisht.

I was sirangely amaz'd hereat, not knowing what to do, till at length a person of a lovely presence. With an Angelical countenance, appear'd to me advi­sing me to be of good courage, and follow him; which I did accordingly; but in our way we were obstruct­ed by millions of Devils, and horrid Spectrums, whose shapes and forms were so afrightful, that had it not been for my Guide, I should not have been able to have stirred a foot forward; but by his encou­ragement I went on, and saw other very strange ap­paritions, such as would have startled the most un­daunted he that wears a head. My Guide having dissipated these, as well as the former, brought me at last unto a place which for soil and temperature of Air might vye with any place in Christendom; here I gave my greedy eyes full liberty to feast on all the delicates Nature is capable to produce, which are too many here to numerate. The verdant Fields, and pleasant Groves, were not to be parallel'd; but no sign where any Corn was sown: whatever grew, came up spontaneously, without the labour of the hands. I [Page 7]wondred that I saw no Houses, nor People to inhabit them in such a Paradise as this: whilst my eyes were busily inquiring into the excellency of such ob­jects as presented themselves to my view, I saw Men, Women and Children ascend out of the bowels of the earth (as I thought) who were all naked, very white, and well-featur'd, who all fell down, and seem'd to worship a deformed ill-shapen thing, which I judged was the Devil; hereupon I ask't my Guide the mean­ing hereof, who with an austere countenance told me, That the Isle was under the power of the Prince of the Air, and had been so for many years; but the time is near at hand it shall be so no longer. The words were no sooner spoken, but there followed such loud peals of Thunder, as if the foundation of the earth had been torn asunder, accompanied with such Lightning seemingly to me, as if the element of Fire had been placed in the lower Region: these hor­rours were accompanied with such dismal sounds, that nothing else could better represent an infernal consort: this continued but a very little, and then the Horizon grew as splendent as before, without the least disturbance. Whilst I was in my greatest amaze­ment, not knowing what to think or do, my Guide vanish't, and the former Eagle took me up in his tallons, and carried me the same way back again; and having brought me to my habitation, left me, and then I awak't.

Then did I ponder with my self what this Dream should signifie: after various considerations, I con­cluded this must be O Brazeel, and that I was the man must be its happy Discoverer. There wanted not Arguments to flatter my self into this opinion; and being over-joy'd, I instantly ran to a Friend to tell him my Dream, and how well it suited with the former Reports concerning this Inchanted Island: this man did presently put great confidence in my Dream, and readily consented not only to be assist­ant in this new discovery, but likewise to go him­self in person, having at that time a Vessel of his own of about Thirty Tuns ready fitted.

No man could be fitter for this purpose than he and I: for we were both so indebted to the place wherein we were, that we only wanted a wind to Sell the Countrey. Having concluded on the design, we made no delayes, but getting Seamen aboard be­fitting our purpose, on October the 9th, 1672. we set Sail, bearing our course due West, sometimes West and by South, and sometimes West-North-West, each traverse not exceeding Fifteen Leagues in Longitude. We thus continued doing about seven dayes: on the eighth day in the morning, we espyed a blue Cloud at West-South-West; the sight hereof overjoy'd only the Master, and my self (for there was none of the Seamen privy to our design;) and that we might the sooner enjoy the fruits of our longing expectations, we made all the Sail we could up to it: the nearer our approach, the [Page 9]blacker it grew; and having Sail'd towards it about half a watch, it vanisht in an extraordinary flash of Lightning.

Being troubled to be thus disappointed, we alter'd our course, and stood away to the Northward till the next Morning, lying by all the Night. In the Morning we tackt, and stood to the Southward, and towards the Evening we had sight of it again, and in the Morning we seem'd to be very near it, and, as we thought, saw Ships riding at Anchor.

Now did we verily believe this must be O Bra­zeel; and whil'st the Master and I were contending who should be the Vice-Roy, or have most power and authority therein, the Wind rose high, and the Sea began to skud against it, the Sky was overcast, and the Elements seemed to contend which should perform first the part of a merciless Executioner.

Certainly Neptune at this time wanted some pastime, and was resolved to play at Tennis, bandy­ing us to and fro like Balls, making use of his Bil­lows for his Rackets. Thus were we tost up and down two Dayes and Nights at least; which so dis­composed my Body (being unaccustomed to such labour, and continual watching) that I was forced to go into my Cabin; and though I was sensible of imminent danger, yet my wearied body could no longer hold out. Just as I was rockt into a slumber, in came the Master with more speed than ordinary, being quickned (as any might imagine by his coun­tenance) with the sense and apprehension of some [Page 10]sudden ensuing danger; had he gone about to con­ceal his fears, he could not have done it, they were written so legible in his face in the characters of hor­rour and amazement: which made me ask him, Whether all was well? he tremblingly, yet churlish­ly told me, I might sleep on, for 'twas like to be my last. With that I leapt out, and coming on the Deck, I saw a Fellow at his prayers, who never said them, but when he thought he should as certainly dye, as be drunk when he came ashore: never did frightful Ghost startle poor timerous Mortals more, than the devout posture of that Fellow did me, knowing it an infallible symptom or forerunner of immediate ruine and destruction. In this dismal and fatal Exigency, I could hardly forbear smiling, (though since I have condemn'd my Vanity in that condition) to see a Fellow wringing of his hands, who had a Nose some dayes before as red as any blood; which blood was now so chill'd and con­geal'd by fear, that it lookt like the end of a half­boil'd Black-pudding.

But to be serious, I made a diligent inquiry what should be the cause of their disorder'd and distract­ed looks? I was answer'd by a File of Deaths-heads, That our Vessel had sprung a Leak, and that there was no hope of safety. You may imagine what a strange Metamorphosis these deadly words made in my face; however, I presently bestir'd my self, and thought it requisite to use a helping hand, as well as a tongue, to cry God help. By my example, the rest [Page 11]fell to work, who were busie in doing nothing, and knew nothing what they did. I desired the Master to go down into the Hold, to find out the Leak our Ship had sprung; who instantly re­turn'd, and told me, That the Leak was both in­scrutable, and incurable; for the water flow'd in so fast, that we must now number our dayes by one single minute. I never heard a Deaths-head speak before; and the Truth of it is, he lookt much more like Death himself, than his Messenger: had he said not a word, we might have read our ruine in his countenance.

There was now nothing more to be done, than to hoist our Boat over-board; which was as soon done, as commanded, and every one strove who should leap into it first; I was the second, and having taken in four more, we put off from the Ship-side, fearing lest the sinking Ship should draw us in after it.

Now did we Rowe we knew not whither, in a Sea which seldom wears a smooth brow in Autumn, which at this time contending with the Wind, swell'd into prodigious Mountains, which threatned every moment to be our Monu­ments.

And that which aggravated our Misery, we had no sight of Land in an open Boat, no Compass to guide, no Provision to sustain us; and the Night growing on upon us, no­thing could preserve us, but a Miracle: and [Page 12]though the waves carried us up to Heaven, yet there was no ground for our hope or belief, that God should put his hand out of a Cloud, and take us miserable Mortals to himself from the top of a surging wave; neither could we expect to meet any ship; for though many ships come from the same place, and bound for the same Haven, yet they sel­dom meet in the vast Ocean, and Sail in the same Line; there are no beaten paths in the floods, no High-wayes and common Roads in the Sea.

Yet such was our good fortune, that we espied a Sail making towards us, and we what we could to­wards it; but having but two Oars, we were not able to break the waves, and therefore made but lit­tle way.

And now Despair seized us again; for notwith­standing all our endeavours, we could not reach this Vessel, nor the Vessel us: and now indeed I could not forbear shedding tears, although I had no need of more salt water.

This our pregnant hopes brought forth nothing but wind and water; and we that before, at the sight of this ship, flatter'd our selves with the assu­rance of safety, were now as much confounded with a certainty of perishing. For my part, I judg'd it a less affliction to have had no hopes at all of a deliverance, than presently to fall from it. Question­less it did redouble the punishment of Tantalus, to kiss those Apples with his lips, which he must not taste with his tongue.

But again we entertained fresh hopes: for in this our black and dismal Night, we espied a light, which presently we Row'd to with all might and main; the ship standing towards us with more wind than her Sails could well bear, came up quickly with us: we crying all out, She hung on the Lee, and we came aboard of her; we were entertained ci­villy by the Master of the Vessel, and his men, whom we understood by an English man on board, were Wallisians, and were bound for Montecapernia.

Notwithstanding we escaped so miraculously, and had such good entertainment from Strangers (when all hopes were lost) yet our dejected coun­tenances sufficiently declared the discontent of our minds, and desiring to be comforted as Job was af­ter our losses, with twice as much as we had be­fore.

The next Morning the wind somewhat slackned, and the Sea was less turbulent; but towards Night, it blew fresher than it did from the time of our Shipwrack.

The day being shut in, and the Master knowing he was not far from Land, was at his wits ends, being none of the best Seaman; and whil'st I was reading his fears in the confusion of his countenance, and thinking to advise him for the best, the Ship struck against a clefted Rock so violently, that there she stuck, till we had all the opportunity of leaping out; but by reason of the darkness of the Night, the Master knew not where he was.

With longing expectation to see the Morning­star draw the Curtain of the Night, we roved to and fro, and found still firm footing on a spacious Rock; but as yet we had not light enough to dis­cover us first to our selves (being as yet in the dark) as ignorant of our selves, as deplorable condition.

Never did Night seem longer to any Mortal, than this to me; for besides that I was thinly clad, having cast off my Coat, intending to swim, and had not leisure to put it on again, thinking it better to leave that behind, than my self; I say, I had lost my shooes: so that though I was often up to the calf of the Legs (as I rambled up and down in the dark) yet I could not say I was over shooes.

And now the long-expected morning drew near, and we fain would have seen before we could. In that twilight, every black Cloud we discern'd, we flattered our selves was some Town, or Village; but when the Sun arose, we found our selves on a Rock, which was an Island when our Ship split upon it; but the Sea ebbing, left us a dry passage to the shore, which was about Musket-shot distant.

The Tide coming in, made us hasten to the Land, which was so fortified by Nature with such high and almost-inaccessible Rocks, that in our ascending them, we were in as great danger of breaking our Necks, as before of drowning; but at length, with much difficulty we got to the top, and then the Master knew where he was, in his own Countrey, [Page 15] viz. Montecapernia; notwithstanding his former loss, he was so over-joy'd that he knew where he was, that he leap't, and danc't: and for my part, I thought he would have skip't out of his Breeches; and that he might easily do, having a hundred ways for his passage.

And now before I come to give you an account of our entertainment in this place, with a descripti­on thereof, and a character of the people; give me leave to give you an account of our Shipwrack in some few measured lines.

The DESCRIPTION of Montecapernia, WITH THE Natures of the People, their Qualities, Humours, Modes, Fashions, and Religion.

MOntecapernia is divided into two great parts, South and North; and it may well admit of this divisi­on, since there is so great a dif­ference in the manners and lan­guage of both places; the South understanding the North, for the most part, as little as the English do the Cornish.

The name Montecapernia, seems to be derived from the Latin Mons and Caper, as much as to say, [Page 20] [...] [Page 21] [...] [Page 22] Montes Caprorum, Mountains of Goats; and so it may properly have that appellation, since there are few Countries afford greater plenty of them; whose nature is such, they will climb cragged and almost inaccessible high Mountains, and dangerous Precipi­ces, with as much facility as a Squirrel shall a Tree.

Montecapernia to the Southward, is a Countrey inricht with Natures chiefest Treasures; the fruitful­ness of whose Soil may vye with most places of the Universe.

Their Hills for height are dreadful to the eye; and although they seem almost inaccessible, yet are very profitable to the Inhabitants, not only as to the Mines of Coals, Lead, and Silver, contain'd within the bowels of these Mountains, but also to the good Common they afford to vast numbers of Sheep, which are but small, yet very sweet Mutton, whose fleece employs many hands in that Countrey; which plentifully supplies many more near adja­cent, with good serviccable Cloth, Frize, Flannel, &c.

Neither is the Northward of this Countrey so barren, but that the Land produceth what is neces­sary for the sustenance, profit, and pleasure of the Inhabitants. Their Beasts in general are but small, yet such (as are for food) much more indulge the palate, than any flesh in other parts; what are for labour, are very serviceable, being full of mettle, exceeding hardy, and will carry Burdens, the [Page 23]greatness whereof would startle any mans be­lief.

The Countrey is water'd by many excellent Ri­vers and Rivulets, which are furnished with great numbers of variety of Fish; one sort whereof I took special notice of, having never seen the like before; the Natives call it a Mort, they are of all sizes, speckled with red spots on the side, some whereof are as big as a Salmon, and eat exactly like it.

Their Seas round about supply them with all manner of Shell-fish, and other sorts, the choicest which ever came to Neptunes Table; which they convey to other Countries circumjacent, and there­by make a very great advantage.

Their Marshes and Rivers (of which they have plenty) are visited by multitudes of Wild-fowl in the Winter-season; their Hills are stor'd with Wood­cock, Groust, Heath-cock, &c. Nor are they a little stored with Red-deer, Hares, and Rab­bits.

Fish and Flesh of all sorts are sold cheaper than can be imagin'd; as a Quarter of Mutton for Eight pence, an Ell-long Salmon for Ten pence, a Pullet for a Groat, and in some places (accor­ding to the season) Twenty Eggs a penny. I know not whether this cheapness may arise from the plenty of the aforesaid provision, or the scarci­ty of money.

The People in general are great admirers of their Pedigree, and have got their Genealogy so exactly by heart, that though it be two hours work for them to repeat the names only from whence they are de­scended lineally, yet will they not omit one word in half a dozen several Repetitions; from whence I gather, they say them instead of their Pater noster, or their Evening and their Morning Pray­ers.

The Gentry (for the most part) are extracted from very ancient Families, who are adored by the Commonalty; and to give them their due, are good natur'd Gentlemen, exceeding free, and cour­teous to strangers, and extraordinary generous in their entertainments; insomuch that I have seen in a Gentlemans house of indifferent estate, at a mode­rate Treat, Twenty Dishes, many of them treb­ly jointed, to recompence the smallness of the meat.

Their want of Wine is supply'd by most incom­parable Beer and Ale, which runs as free as Water on a visit; and if you do not drink as freely, they think they have not made you welcome; so that a man knows not how to take leave, till he is unable to stir a foot.

They are very courteous in their Speech, and no­ble in their Carriage, firm (where they take) and constant in their Resolutions, splendid in their pub­lick Ceremonies (of Shrievalry, and the like) cou­ragious, stout, and great lovers of their Prince and [Page 25]Countrey; honourable in their Inclinations, and resolute in their Enterprizes. In short, they are ge­nerally accomplisht in most respects, and greatly gi­ven to that they call Hospitality.

As I have thus Characteriz'd the good, so take the bad with it, according to my observation, du­ring my abode in this Countrey: the purest Wheat will have its Chaff, and there is no Wine but hath some Lees.

Travelling into some places of no mean extent, I thought my self to be at the Fag-end, or A—of the World; the Land being so exceeding barren, and destitute of Wood, that for Ten or Twenty miles together (cross the Countrey) you could not see a Bush to tye your Horse to, till you have untrust a point; and therefore you must either bridle your mouth to stay your Horse, or trust to the tame na­ture, and good conditions of the Beast; who if he be inclin'd to cool his mouth with a tuft of grass, he may sooner find it in a Feather-bed; but if the quickness of the Air hath given him an appe­tite to eat, and a Stomack to digest Heath, Moss, and scragged Stones, he cannot want Provi­sion.

The People in these barren places have so little converse with Travellers, and the paths are so un­trodden, that a man must aim at the way by guess, or carry a Compass with him: and yet he may easi­ly mistake the most noted Road; which if he do, he had need have recourse to his devotion for his [Page 26]miraculous deliverance from riding Twenty-four hours, and never the nearer his Journies end; nay, it may be not six Miles distant from whence he stray'd, and in all his Travels see nothing but a flock of Geese, some scattered Sheep, half a dozen rag­ged Colts, and now and then a few Crows flying over his head, unless by chance under the side of some Hill (if near a common Road) he discovers a Smoke, which if he make towards (and happily escape a Bogg (of which the Hills afford great plenty, and very dangerous too) yet will it be dif­ficult to discern the stately Mansion whence the Smoke arose, till his Horses feet be very near the roof; such is the Natives care in sheltring themselves within the Walls of Nature: And upon this ac­count, I have heard several of them brag of the strength and strange scituation of their Towns, one whereof I had described to me, which engaged my Curiosity to see it; whence I took this observa­tion.

It is scituated in a little Vale, encompassed round with Walls, which are a Mile thick, and more; the entrance into the Town is under water, and the Steeple belonging to the Town, grows every years.

This place lies to the Norward of Montecaper­nia; and though it be contemptible for its build­ings; yet is often made the place for the General As­size of that County, where the Justices of Oyer and Terminer sit: where note, that this Countrey is [Page 27]governed by as wholesom Laws as any other Coun­trey. Now to unriddle the aforesaid description, the Town is built in a Hole, encompassed with very great and high Hills, which meet in their tops al­most at the entrance into Town, by which means there is a Trough made over the passage from one Hill to the other, for a conveyance of a watry Brook, which otherwise would annoy the passage into Town: under this Trough the People travel, which is their going under water into Town: as for the Steeple, they have none, but the Bell hangs in an Yew-Tree in the Church-yard; and there lies the quibble, that the Steeple grows every year.

They boast of other strange things they have in their Countrey, namely, a great Green Bridge two or three Miles in length, on which (like that un­der which the River Anus runs in Spain) they can feed Two or three hundred Head of Cattle. It seems there is a River in this Countrey that runs some Miles under-ground, and disimbogues it self into the Sea; the Inhabitants report, if a Goose should be put into this River, and she swim through this earthen Bridge, she will come out with never a feather on her back; the cause to me is occult and hidden.

There is another place far within the Land, through which, at high-water, the Sea will dash up a considerable height, with a noise both horrible and hideous; this is occasioned by the concav'd Earth, giving an inlet to the Sea.

They talk of a Well also they have, in which there is Thirty steps to descend into it; in the stony side whereof, there is the exact impression of a man, which they say was Christ (by which you may ga­ther the Montecapernians have heard of our Savi­our:) this impression was occasioned, as they say, when our Saviour descending this Well to drink, he lean'd against the Wall, which was so tender-na­tur'd as to yield to his sides and limbs, lest its hard­ness should hurt any of them.

Though these things may seem incredible, yet I can assure this, that they will talk to one another above Two miles distant; that is, one shall stand on the top of one high Hill, and the other upon the other: And though their tops are near, yet in the descending of one, and ascending the other Hill, reckoning the interval between, and it will not amount to less than two Miles: this they will brag of too; and to shew their wit, will tell you pretty stories; as for example, that two Fathers, and two Sons, kill'd three Hares, and each carried home one, and no more; that is, there was Grandfather, Fa­ther and Son: And to amuse you, will tell you, that one of their Countreymen caught a Fox, a Salmon, and a Pheasant at one draught in a Net; that is, the Net was laid for the Pheasant, in a small Wood near the Sea-side, where was a Wyer in which was a Sal­mon, which the Fox getting, ran with it into the Wood, and so into the Net, just as he was drawing for the Pheasant, and so caught them all three.

The Montecapernian Cots are generally built on the side of a Hill, not to be discerned till you just come upon them. The Cottage is usually raised Three foot from the Eves to the ground on the one side, and the other side hath a Rock for a Wall to save charges, in regard carriage is dear, and money but scarce, especially to such, who never see it but once in Seven years, when out of pure devotion they go to the next Market-Town in the season to receive the consirmation of their Faith, by sipping of Wine out of a Silver Cup, which the Parsons Wife sets all the year after for a grace on the Cup­board, and frequently serves for a Brandy-taster. If for nothing else, but for their taking the Sacrament, you may know they are no Heathens.

The Hearth is placed in the middle of the house, and their Fuel is made of Earth and Cow-dung dry­ed in the Sun; the Smoke goes through no particu­lar place, but breaks through every part between the Rods or Wattles of which they make their Doors, sides, and Roof of the house, which commonly is no bigger than an overgrown Pig-stye; to which they have two Doors, one alwayes shut on that side where the wind blows; from whence I believe it is, that they brag they have the quickest Arenitects in all the world, because they can build a house in a day.

The houses seem to mourn for the sterility of the Countrey, being hung all in black, occasioned by the Smoke; and but look up, you may see the oyle of Smoke naturally extracted, beyond the Art of [Page 30]Chymistry, hanging on the Rods; which if it chance to fall upon your Cloaths, I'll warrant you are marked for a black Sheep, nor shall the art of man remove the stain.

They delight not in variety of Rooms, hating Three Stories, as a Zealot does the Triple-Crown; and that they may have all their Family about them inclosed in one Room, the Good-man and his Wife have their Bed raised up about half as high as the Roof, which is the Teaster to their Bed, made of Straw or Rushes, according to cold or warmer wea­ther. The Sheets are the Womans Smock, which (if she be a good Housewife) shall contain her smaller Children on the one side, and her Husband on the other, when closed up; and he peeping out at her bosom, you would take it to be an Hermaphro­ditical Monster, big with Child, and ready to be de­livered.

They get into this Bed by a stone or two set by the side: the Man and Wife lie at one end, and what Children they have (Boyes and Girles) lie at the other, their feet meeting all together higgle-de-pig­gle-dee. The rest of the Family they dispose of thus: a Goat or an Ewe they tye to the Beds-feet; over their heads Roost their Cocks and Hens, and now and then shew the nature of their name, foul the foul faces of their Master and Dame; this Dung likewise serves instead of Soap when they have oc­casion to wash, which is but seldom, having nothing besides their Cloaths to wear, but a Neck-cloth, and a Flannel Smock.

Their general Food is a thin Oat-cake, which they bake upon a broad flat stone made hot, a lit­tle Sheeps-milk Cheese, or Goats-milk, boyl'd Leeks, and some Roots; but seldom eat flesh, or drink strong Beer, but at Fairs, and Publick Solemnities: and then it is pity, for at any time Small-beer will set their Heads afloat, and their Tongues into a per­petual motion, talk of nothing but Pedigrees, grow quarrelsom, fight with their own Heels, and may be lose their stockings and shooes before they get home, which else might last them an Age, in regard they never wear them, but carry them on their backs, going bare-foot, till they come near a Market-Town, where Men and Women alike, with an inch-Pipe fil­led with Pigs-tail, or Mundungus Tobacco, and a great Turf of fire to light it, sit down on the ground, and put on their Stockings and Shooes to go in, and at their return, at the same place, pull them off again; being more afraid to scratch their Shooes, than cut their Feet and Toes: whose skin is so hardned, that Men, Women and Children, in the midst of Winter, go Bare-foot on sharp Stones, pie­ces of Ice, edge or side, all alike to them; for which reason there are few Shoocmakers in the Coun­trey, because commonly their Shooes last them an Age.

At other times, their Drink is either three parts Water, and a fourth Milk, which they call Glastor, or a handful of Crabs bruised and laid asoak in a Bowl-full of running Water, for two or three hours. [Page 32]They have another sort of Drink called Whigg, which is a kind of a sour Whey. Likewise they have a Drink call'd Sicken-pen-fon, cold water poured on the Grains.

The People are naturally inclin'd to Pride; and to shew the Antiquity of their Family, some of them derive themselves the immediate and next of kinde to Adam.

It is a thousand pities the People are so sloathful, being given to no manner of Industry, Husbandry, or any other useful improvement; which partly oc­casions the barrenness of the Countrey so much to appear, that otherwise by active spirits might easi­ly evince the contrary: for though they have ma­ny Hills, Mountains, and Boggs, yet have they match­less rich Vallies.

It may be conjectured their sloathfulness may in part be occasioned by their ignorance; some of the indifferent sort being brought up to read, and by the pretence of Centility, scorning a Trade, never heed the farther improvement of their Fortunes, or understandings, till the Father dyes, and the Elder Brother possess the Estate.

They are a People generally envious, especially of the rise of their Neighbours; naturally prag­matical, and inquisitive after others affairs, and al­wayes blabbing, and telling Tales; and so litigious, that they are ready to go to Law, if they see their Neighbours Horse put his head over their Hedge, or his Goose at their Barns-door.

The Women are infected with the like quarrel­som humour. I have seen two Women about some trivial matter, fall together by the ears; the Men took each others part, one Neighbour seconded one, and the next another; till they had engaged two thirds of the Town in the quarrel, and none of them knew for what they fought, or how the fray began; and to be revenged the more of one another, they sent the next opportunity for process in Battery, Trespass, Scaadal, and I know not what: and then to Law they went (for they love it above any thing) when they had spent their money, they were forced to put it to a Reference, and then are at an­other charge in Treating the Arbitrators, and their Friends; who having feasted themselves, leave the business as they found it: And yet this great charge and trouble will not dissuade them from following these litigious courses, but are never at quiet, but when they have some suit or other depending: their Lawyers taking notice of the temper of the Peo­ple, promote the differences, in humouring their fancies; by which means, they continually drain their pocket, and this is one great cause of their general poverty.

The Commonalty are extremely awed by their Superiours; in such sort, a Tenant fears as much to speak against a Lord of the Mannor, or their next powerful Neighbour, as wiser men would dread to speak Treason against a Prince, under whose Alle­giance be lives, and hath sworn to. And I have [Page 34]heard say, that some of them will swear and for­swear any thing, that may tend to the benefit of that Landlord from whom he hath any dependance, and think it no great crime.

Many notorious Vices are among them, which they look upon to be things of another complexi­on; and this I believe proceeds from their igno­rance in Religion: and that ignorance is occasi­oned by their Superiours, who in these latter years, have ingrost to themselves all Church-lands, and allowance for the Clergy. In several places it is so small, that six such portions will scarcely keep a single man alive.

I knew one that had to the value of but Eigh­teen shillings English money per Annum, to offi­ciate in Divine Service on the Sabbath day; and therefore all the rest of the Week he was forc'd to Thatch, Thresh, or wrought otherwayes for Three pence a day.

The next thing we shall Treat of, is the particular parts of Worship in their Religion;

And first for Baptism, they generally do carry the Child to the Church, as soon as born, if the Church be near, where at the Font the Child is named by the Godfathers and Godmothers, with a short Cere­mony; all whose Christian names, with the Parents, are conjoyned, which if wrote at length, would blot more paper than the Titles of the Grand Seignior.

The Women are of a very strong constitution, the midling sort hardly keeping their Beds three dayes at a lying in; and the fourth day will give no quarter to the groaning Ale, fight the fifth, and it may be go to Church the sixth, with the mark of the Lord of Northumberland's Arms under the Callicoe Hood, which they wear for a Ker­chief.

Their Marriages are made like bargains of old, like a Pig in a poke unseen; for the Parents meet over a Cup of nappy Ale, where making some bar­gain for Wheat, Oats, or any other necessary thing they want, at last strike up a match between their Son and Daughter: this serves instead of wooing, by which means the first meeting is seldom till the Man comes to fetch the Woman to Church, attend­ed with a Rabble of all the Relations, who must out of pure love not be sober that whole Week, and then the next Sunday attend them to Church again; and there ends the Ceremony.

They have no scruples in their Marriages (as I could hear of) for the nearest of Kin often inter­marries with the other, one man frequently marrying two Sisters, &c.

Their Burials retain something of the Relicts of Popish Ceremony: for next Night after the decease of the person, every Friend, Neighbour and Rela­tion comes to his House, and brings each a Candle, and a Gun of Ale, where this jovial Crew light up their Lights, making a good Fire, and then drink [Page 36]remembrances of the dead, till some of them lose their own, and for want of Feet stand in need as much of Bearers home, as the Corps to the Grave.

When the time comes to carry it out, which is within three or four dayes after the decease of the person, the Priest in his Surplice walks before the Guests, round the Corps, all confusedly, and the Corps in the middle: being near the Church, the Men put off their Hats, and then Men and Women fet up together such a hideous cry, that I can re­semble it to nothing more proper, than to that, drowning Men make when the Ship is sinking: This they continue till they come to the Church, where the Priest in his own Language reads a little Service.

And here observe the policy of the Priest: for having no certain Fee allowed for Burials, but by custom receives the free-will-offering of the next of Kin, and Friends to the deceased; he will be sure, for fear he lose any of the Guests, to stop in the midst of the Service, and leaying his Book open, stands with his face directly against the Corps; by which dumb signs, the People knowing his mind, they make their offering. The first of Kin goes to the Communion-Table, and throws down his Benevolence, perhaps a Six-pence, if he be a Bro­ther, or so near a Relation. The rest by Pence, or Two-pence, do so increase the Parsons stock, that it may amount to Three or four shillings. After [Page 37]this he goes on merrily with the remaining part of the Divine Service; and having finisht it, away to the Ale-house, where he is sure to have his charge born for that day.

Another strange passage they have at their Buri­als, which I had almost omitted; that is, they first give wheaten Loaves to the Poor, and as the Corps stands at the door on a Bier, the next of Kin to the deceased, taketh a new wooden Bowl (never used) filled with the best Liquor they have, and half a dozen wheaten Loaves, with a good piece of Cheese, and gives it cross the Corps to any whom he fancies to be the poorest Beggar; who receives the same, and immediately drinks the Liquor, with a blessing to the Soul departed. Desiring to be sa­tisfied concerning the meaning of that strange Ce­remony, they answered, That the Souls of the de­ceased in their Rambles in the Elizium, do meet with a sweet-tasting pleasant Fountain, of which each Soul doth drink his Bowl; and if that Ceremo­ny were not performed at the Burial of the Deceased, they think that Soul would want those Necessaries in its supposed Ramble thi­ther.

Their Sunday is the most leisure-day they have, on which they use all manner of Sports; in eve­ry Field a Fiddle, and the Lasses footing it till they are all of a foam, and grow infinitely proud with the blear-eye of affection her Sweet-heart casts on her Feet, as she dances, to a Tune, and no Tune, [Page 38]play'd on an Instrument that makes a worser noise than a Key upon a Gridiron.

Their greatest Zeal, is in keeping Sacred some old Sayings of their great Grandsires, and preserv­ing Sacred some old Relict of their Grandmothers; in both of which they are so strict, that for the first, if they hear one whistle in the Night, they are afraid, and will avoid you; because, say they, our Ancestors told us, that such as whistle in the Night, convers'd with the Devil, and call those Spirits in the Air together, by such sound, to confer with them.

The Relicts of their Grandmothers are as severe; for if she leave but an old Chair, a wooden Spoon, or any other trifle to them, they will preserve it Sa­cred, fearing to prejudice it in the least; should any such thing accidentally happen, they would ab­solutely conclude it did presage some harm ensu­ing.

They are great Lovers of Women, especially such of their own Countrey; and so unsensible of the guilt, that they glory in the crime, and brag of their spurious issue.

A Gentleman of good Note, whom I knew, had so many, that he knew them not when he saw them: several strange Women whom he knew not, taking notice of this advantage, did frequently send their Children to him, who to be rid of them quickly, gave them his formal blessing, with some small piece of money.

I have heard of two other Gentlemen as libidi­nous as the former, the Uncle and Nephew; the latter of which living in the Metropolis of Monte­capernia, had a very handsom Maid to his servant; yet although he had an incomparable Beauty to his Wife, nothing would serve his turn but the enjoyment of his Maid-servant: few persuasions were required to induce her to that which her own inclinations led her to; so that in a lit­tle time she was wholly at her Masters devo­tion.

Not long after, she prov'd with Child; and that he might not incur the displeasure of his virtuous Wife (not that he fear'd the blemishing of his Re­putation for having a Bastard) he sent her whil'st she was young with Child to his Uncle, that there she might privately Lie in, and no notice be taken.

The Uncle receiv'd her, and became his Nephews Confident in his stoll'n Amours, without reproving him for his wantonness. Now, as one kindness de­serves another; so the Uncle having gotten this same Woman with Child a, little time after her de­livery, and sending her to his Nephew to Lie in, the Nephew could do no less than receive her; and did so, concealing the ignominy of his Uncle as much as in him lay. Such was their success in not being discovered (the Wenches mouth being stopt with money) that the Nephew sell to work again with her as soon as she had delivered her loading; [Page 40]and getting her with Child, sent her back to his Uncle: And thus they sent her as a Token one to the other, till they had got six Children between them; and had she not dy'd a little after she was quick of the seventh, there might have been a ge­neration between them as long as the first Chapter of Matthew.

More might be said in landem & vituperium, in the praise and dispraise of Montecapernia; but my stay being there but a very little, I wanted both in­formation, and further observation.