God give you joy The hearty wish of a Christian friend to the bridegroom and the bride. A marriage-present for the new-married-couple: containing considerations and advices, in order to perswade young married people to begin the married life in the fear of the Lord. With directions and prayers. With plainness, intended for the meanest understanding. By one that desires to be a true son of the church of Christ, as by the gospel established.

God give you Joy. The hearty Wiſh of a Chriſtian Friend to the Bridegroom and the Bride.

THE INTRODUCTION.

IT becomes all that love the Lord Jeſus Chriſt in ſincerity, to promote the glory of God the Father, and according to their capacities to further that great work for which Chriſt came into the world, by labouring to turn every one from their iniquities, that they may obtain ſalvation through faith in him. This is that bleſſing with which God ſent his Son to bleſs the world; and which all ſhould endeavour to bring others to be partakers of. And therefore should uſe all means poſſible to inſtruct and perſwade all to receive, and follow that Grace of God which appears in the Goſpel; and teaches us to deny ungodlineſs and worldly luſts, that we may live ſoberly, and righteouſly, and godly in this preſent world, in every ſtate and condition of life.

Therefore should we lay hold on every opportunity that may probably be fit for that purpoſe. And I take this as a fit occaſion, to put you in mind of that duty you are bound to, in reſpect of each other, in the married eſtate; that you may glorifie God, in helping one anothers Souls, that ſo the prayers and good wishes of your friends may not be in vain, but that your Joy may be full, true Joy in the Lord.

God give you Joy is the uſual ſalutation to new married people; and indeed it is what every true Chriſtian friend deſires, That ſuch may rejoice in the Lord, and Joy in the God of Salvation.

The Love of Chriſt should conſtrain us to love others as Chriſt loved us, for the ſouls good. And all that wish well to their Friends and Relations, that wish them Joy, if they are in earneſt, and know what they ſay, This is Joy, to have the Lords favour, that is better than life it ſelf. And therefore they should uſe ſuch means as Gods word teaches, to promote that Joy they wish, the Joy that God gives.

But experience shows us, that too many are either ignorant or diſſemblers in that wish, which is turned for the moſt part into a cold formality, and words of courſe. And we alſo ſee the ill methods that too many new married folks take to make void ſuch good wishes, and oppoſe their own true joys and real bleſſings.

Therefore I put this Paper into your hands, as becomes a Chriſtian friend that deſires to be a friend to your ſouls, to admonish and intreat you, that you make not void the good wishes of your friends by neglecting of God at firſt, nor oppoſe your own joy by a careleſs and ungodly life. But that you take ſuch care, that the beginnings of your mutual love may be ſeaſoned with the Divine love. And that your firſt reſolutions on your meeting together in the married ſtate may be, ſo to abide with God, and ſo to live together in his fear, that God may live with you here, and you with him both here and hereafter.

However it may have been with you in the ſingle and unmarried ſtate, we uſually call marriage a changing our condition; 'Tis my hearty and earneſt deſire, that your change may be for the beſt; and that you may ſo begin the world together as not to abuſe it, but in the changed condition you may attend to the Lords ſervice, to your ſouls true comfort and joy.

In every change of condition, we in ſome ſort do begin a new courſe: ſo that we may juſtly apply our Saviours precept to all beginnings, ſo to enter on every ſtate of life, that in the firſt place and chiefly we regard the fear of the Lord; Seek firſt the kingdom of God, and his righteouſneſs; he joins alſo a promiſe to it, that outward bleſſings shall be added, Mat. 6.33. Therefore in ſo great a change as Marriage is, it highly concerns you, that the married life should be begun in the Lord. Your firſt and chiefeſt love should be to him from whom you have your being, and on whom you depend for all things, both preſent and to come; to whom you should live, and who's glory should be the deſign of all your actions, becauſe his you are, and not your own; Redeemed to him by the precious blood of his Son Jeſus Chriſt: And before that Great Judg you muſt give up an account of your ſelves at the laſt.

If you have been piouſly educated, then have you need to be careful, that the change turn not aſide your heart from God. But as you have been charged by your Parents, Remember to live in the fear of the Lord, and abide with God in the married as well as in the ſingle life. Remember the Apoſtles caution, 2 Tim 3.14. Change of family, and acquaintances, and neighbours, are great occaſions of good or evil; as thoſe families, relations, or kindred, acquaintance, and neighbours are, amongſt whom you happen to come. If they be ungodly and vain, you had need beware they tempt you not to leave off the way of Godly living. That which ſeems pleaſant to the flesh, is a ſtrong perſwaſion to bring you to comply with vain worldly ways, eſpecially in beginning the married eſtate; they think it ſtrange you will not do as others, in worldly vanity; and by degrees bring you to think it ſtrange you should not, and by degrees to conſent to join with them; and by unſenſible degrees, and unperceiv'd methods, will they lead you from the good way, and you will leave your firſt love and good practice, and fail of the grace of God. Therefore you had need beware you change not to the worſe: Or if there be among them but ſome ungodly, you had need beware you join not with them on worldly accounts rather than with the Godly, becauſe poor, or on other accounts deſpiſed.

If they are Godly and Religious Friends and Neighbours among whom you come, Take heed you do not diſgrace your pious education by growing ſlight and careleſs after marriage.

But if your education has not been in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, to look after true Godlineſs, then indeed you had need look to it, that the condition may be ſo changed, that the married eſtate may be a ſtate of Godlineſs. Marriage should be in the Lord; only in the Lord, ſaith the Apoſtle, 1 Cor. 7.39. 'Tis this only that makes marriage truly honourable and comfortable. And if you have neglected that great thing, that one neceſſary thing till then, 'tis ſurely high time to begin the change.

When I ask young married people, if they deſire and intend to live together in Godly love, and the fear of God; they uſually anſwer, They hope ſo to do. And ſurely it would be impudent folly and ſin, to dare to ſay otherwiſe. But I think it is plain in too many, that there is not really ſuch an heart and hearty deſire in them; but that they regard little more than brutish ſatisfaction and carnal enjoyments; Nay ſome behave themſelves to each other, as if they married only to be in a capacity to torment and vex one another, to do the Devils work, to hinder each others comforts both in ſoul and body.

I deſire you would now put that forementioned queſtion to your ſelves:

Do you deſire and intend, and will you endeavour to live together in Godly love, and in the fear of God, ſo as to be meet helps for each others good both in ſoul and body?

What anſwer can you think reaſonable to that queſtion, Ay or No?

If you anſwer Ay; and think fit, that ſuch anſwer should be taken should be taken for true, and no lye, that anſwer then gives judgment of your duty, what you ought to do; and if not brutish and ſenſleſs, muſt engage you ſo to do. The chief deſign of this Paper is to perſwade and direct to begin the married life in the due fear of God, ſo that you may continue in the ſame. We call marriage a beginning of the world; and we may make it (if we uſe it aright) the beginning of the Kingdom of Heaven. The beginnings of Grace continued in, will ſurely end in Glory.

Sect. I. Some Queſtions to Conſcience, in order to convince the Judgment, and prepare the mind to receive the following Advices.

THat your Judgment may be ſetled aright, to approve the beſt things, and to chuſe the moſt excellent way, I shall offer ſeveral things to your conſideration by way of Queſtion, and let Conſcience give the anſwer.

1. Firſt, I earneſtly intreat you in the fear of God, and as in his preſenco, to think ſeriouſly, and ask conſcience, Whether an holy and heavenly love and life be not beſt to ſpend your days together in? As having God to dwell with you; to have a ſenſe of his good providence over you, and that your prayer may not be hinder'd, but that you may ever have a grounded hope of his everlaſting love?

2. Whether Marriage thus ordered may not be eſteemed as the greateſt earthly comfort? or on the other hand, Whether an ill managed Wedlock is not the greateſt croſs of humane life?

3. Whether God by his providence has not put it into the hands and power of married people to make themſelves happy or miſerable, as to this world at leaſt, and in great meaſure alſo their ſouls in the world to come?

4. Whether you come together as Chriſtians, or as Heathens? and without a holy endeavour to live in godly love, what do you more than Heathens?

5. Whether there be any love as Chriſtians, if it be not with reſpect to the ſoul; and whether that can be meet help, for man or woman, that does not help the ſoul?

6. Whether Husband or Wiſe could take it well to hear the other ſay, I love thy face and thy fortune, thy beauty and eſtate, thy body and flesh, but for thy ſoul I care not if it be damn'd and go to the Devil. Whether ſuch words would be taken as charming expreſſions and ſigns of love?

7. Whether an ungodly life and unholy practice be not as much as to ſay, they care not for the ſouls of one another, when they labour not to live together religiouſly, and ſo to keep each others ſouls to God?

8. What anſwer canſt thou give to thy own conſcience at death, if thou haſt not endeavoured to live a religious life, whether married or ſingle?

9. Whether that myſtical union between Chriſt and his Church, his love in giving himſelf for it, as Eph. 5.25. And alſo that relation between God and his people, whom he has married unto himſelf, Jer. 3.14. both which being repreſented in that mutual union in the married ſtate, do not intimate much of argument, for true and ſpiritual love, and to perſwade you to labour to cleanſe each others ſouls, and to keep each other without ſpot, and blameleſs, as for the coming of the Lord?

Read theſe queſtions over again, and ask one the other the Queſtions; and perſwade and engage one another to conſider ſeriouſly of theſe things. And if on ſerious conſideration theſe queſtions being truly anſwered, according to conſcience, in truth and ſoberneſs, do ſo far convince your judgment, and perſwade (as I hope they will) that your hearts muſt at leaſt ſecretly confeſs, and ſay, ſurely godly love, and a godly life is beſt; to love for the ſouls good is only true love: Then confeſs and own it to one another, and promiſe ſeriouſly ſo to live together as to help one anothers ſouls, and to endeavour each others Salvations, and then proceed to read the Advices following.

Sect. II. Containing Advices to new-marriea People, with Arguments to perſwade, and Helps to perform them.

THe Advices I have to offer to begin the married ſtate should be few, leſt the beginning be paſt before they be read. Yet if the beginning be paſt they cannot be uſeleſs, becauſe they are always of uſe in the married ſtate. But in particular to new-married people, eſpecially if young, they are ſuch advices whereby they may lay a good foundation, and build thereon ſolid comforts, family comforts, laſting Chriſtian comforts. Such as being continued, and daily followed, may render every day a day of comfort and good things; and if good in the beginning, cannot but be ſo in continuance; and ſpiritual good being followed, always increaſes to more abundance.

Adv. 1. Firſt therefore, I adviſe you to begin the married life in the fear of the Lord, with holy reſolutions ſo to live together. I hope the former Queſtions have almoſt (at leaſt) convinced you, that it is your duty ſo to do. Let therefore good reſolutions follow your convictions. Reſolve, that your firſt living together shall be as Chriſtians indeed. And let not Satan tempt you to delay, leſt you quite forget. Reſolve and endeavour, that your firſt love may be as love in the Lord.

To help and encourage you thus to reſolve in the beginning, remember theſe three things.

1. Remember, that the love of the fleſh, or as led by the flesh, is not of God, as in 1 Joh. 2.16. Appetite and deſires of the flesh bring beaſts together.

2. Remember, that kindneſs and good nature, company, and to be helpful to one another in outward things, as of this life, are what become men and women as being rational creatures; and that theſe things may be found, and doubtleſs are found amongſt Heathens, ſuch as know not God in Chriſt Jeſus.

3. Remember, that love in the Lord from a purified heart in earneſt, fervency, and ſincerity, as 1 Pet. 1.22. with deſire to do good to each others ſoul, and to help in the way of ſalvation, is that which becomes Chriſtians, and not at all shortens, but rather increaſes and perfects kindneſs and good nature. And this is indeed marrying in the Lord, as 1 Cor. 7.39.

Therefore receive one another to the glory of God, as Chriſt received us, Rom. 15.7. And look on that providence that brings you together as order'd by the Lord. A prudent wife is from the Lord, ſaith Solomon, Prov. 19.14. And we may add, a prudent husband. A religious and good husband or wife is from the Lord, his proviſion or gift of his providing; whereas houſes and riches, lands and inheritances, Joyntures and Portions are the gifts of Fathers, proviſions of men, and as ſuch they may decay or be loſt: but the gifts of the Lord will abide for good; and ſuch a gift by Gods grace you may be to each other.

Reſolve then and endeavour at firſt to put forward and encourage one another to love and good works; as ſuch as are come together, and appointed by Gods good providence in a particular manner to be helps to build up one another in your moſt holy faith, and to keep one another in the love of God, that you may together comfortably expect the mercy of our Lord Jeſus Chriſt unto eternal life, Jude 20, 21. If this be the duty of all Chriſtian friends, much more then is it the duty of ſuch as are joined ſo near in the Covenant of the Lord, a Covenant of love and unity; ſo near an union, that (in the opinion of St. Paul) it reſembles and may be compared to that love between Chriſt and his Church, as in that ſimilitude before offered to conſideration, Eph. 5.25.

Adv. 2. Secondly, I adviſe, That having reſolved (which I hope you will do) put thoſe good reſolutions in practice. Do not think that it is enough to approve and purpoſe, but ſet about the work in earneſt, and that immediately; ſetting your ſelves at firſt to live together in Gods way, the way of Religion, that you may always ſo continue. And let your daily converſation be in the Lord, abiding with him according to the rule of the Goſpel, perſwading each other always to do that which is of good report, and as becomes the ſervants of God.

Theſe things are general, but the practice conſiſts in particulars, and therefore to thoſe particulars I proceed.

Adv. 3. In the third place, I adviſe you to pray together daily; ſpeak unto God, call upon God for his favour and bleſſings. Begin this courſe as ſoon as you come together. Riſing in the morning, remember each other of prayers, and ſo with united hearts direct your prayer unto God, Pſal. 5.3. So likewiſe every evening before you go to bed: the ſeaſons God; people uſed, Pſal. 55.16, 17. This is the practice of all that are Godly, Pſal. 32.6. ſo often commanded and commended in the Scripture, that I think there needs no more to perſwade you that it is your duty. Thoſe words of our Saviour, Mat. 26.41. watch and pray; or thoſe of St. Paul, pray without ceaſing, 1 Theſ. 5.17. are command enough to all that believe the Scripture to be the word of God. Theſe general precepts contain your duty in particular; for what God commands all, he commands every one; and thoſe words of St. Peter, 1 Pet. 3.7. that your prayers be not hindred, ſuppoſe praying to be both the duty and practice of married people.

And if there had been no command to make prayer your duty, yet reaſon will adviſe you to it, as your intereſt, ſince God is pleaſed to give you leave. I therefore adviſe you to pray, as one of the beſt things you can do for one another, whether for ſoul or body. Becauſe all that good you or your friends wish or deſire for you, is from God; his gift, his bleſſing; without which all your own labour is in vain, as is plain from the whole 127th Pſalm. Except the Lord build the houſe, their labour is but loſt that build it. It in vain to riſe up early, to ſit up late, and to eat the bread of carefulneſs. Whatſoever buſineſs you go about, whatſoever hopes of comfort in each other you may propoſe, whatſoever deſigns you may have of thriving in the world together; without Gods bleſſing all will be in vain. In vain are all thoſe ſeeming wishes of Joy from your friends, unleſs the Lord ſay Amen. If you begin not thus, and at firſt ask Gods bleſſing by prayer, how can you expect it? Nay you hinder your ſelves of that good your friends deſire for you, and you ſeem to deſire for your ſelves, until you ſeek it at the hand of God by prayer.

But if you will ſet your ſelves at firſt to ſeek Gods bleſſing by praying together, there are promiſes in the Scripture ſufficient to encourage you to hope; ſuch as theſe: Thoſe that ſeek me early ſhall find me, Prov. 8.17. Ask and it ſhall be given you, Mat. 7.7. If two of you shall agree on earth, as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my father which is in heaven, Mat. 18.19.

What should you learn then from theſe Scriptures, but that you agree betimes to pray together, and with united hearts to go to God, and ask in hope.

O that I could perſwade you to receive this advice, and heartily engage you to call upon God, that the Lord may be with you, and beſtow his bleſſings upon you and yours! What can hinder you from this great duty and priviledge?

I know nothing that can be ſaid againſt this advice; but by way of excuſe, ſome will talk of their weakneſs, and not being able. But this is for the moſt part but a trifling pretence, which Satan teaches the unwilling in heart to plead: For I am fully perſwaded, that God requires nothing of his creatures, but what he knows they are able to perform, with his grace in uſing the means he has afforded; and ſo it will appear in this particular, if you conſider the helps you have, and the nature of the duty, as reaſon and conſcience muſt judg.

And firſt in reſpect of helps. If you have not been accuſtomed to this, but are ſtrangers to God in that great and comfortable duty of Prayer, you may ask, how shall we call upon God, that are ignorant and cannot make prayers? Tho ſuch thoughts ſavour of great ignorance, yet I will anſwer in your own way. That is, you may make uſe of ſome form of prayer, in ſome good books, of which ſort there are many printed among us. If you have not a better, nor fitter for your condition, you may uſe ſuch as I have added at the end of this book.

If you ſay you cannot read, neither of you to help the other, your caſe is to be pitied; and then I adviſe you to try to learn. I have known ſeveral, of a willing mind, who have learnt to read when grown in years. The advantage is great, to be able to ſee at any time the will of God in the concern of thy ſoul, in his own word, in thy own language, and alſo to be able to uſe any choice form of prayer, ſuitable to your condition, and ſo powerful to move your affections, and draw forth the deſires of your hearts toward God, tho beyond your ability to compoſe.

But if you cannot learn to read, or in the mean time till you can, you are not without help; for you may get ſome honeſt godly friend or neighbour to read over a prayer to you, ſo long till you have learnt it, that you can ſay it your ſelf.

But then you muſt take heed, that this ſaying over one form turn not to plain formality; that you should think as a child, that having ſaid over the words you have prayed, tho your heart ſpoke not to God; and ſo look on a prayer as a charm, as if God was bound by thoſe words in general, to shew his goodneſs to you, when your heart has not made one requeſt or petition to God; that is, you have uttered words, but had no deſires. This is an uſual miſtake, and dangerous error; ſo that in uſing forms of prayer, your care muſt be to keep your heart to the duty, earneſtly deſiring with your heart what you requeſt with your lips.

But tho you have none of theſe outward helps, ſo that you can neither read, nor are furniſhed with a memory able to keep a form of words in mind; yet know, that the nature of the duty is ſuch, that theſe wants will no way excuſe you: Neither should you ſuffer this want to trouble you, if you are willing and deſirous to pray, much leſs should you ſuffer it to diſcourage you, and hinder you from duty, and keep you from God, becauſe you cannot ſay over a form of prayer: For conſider, forms are but words, but prayer indeed is the ſpeaking of the heart to God, whether there be voice heard, or words utter'd, or not; and without the heart, both the beſt compoſed form, and the greateſt ability to utter words readily in extemporary free prayer, are utterly to no purpoſe. And if from thy heart thou ſpeakeſt to God humbly, reverently, with underſtanding, as ſenſible of thy wants, ſincerely, as by faith depending on him thro Chriſt; thou needſt not be troubled for want of well placed words, for God wants not words, but knows the language of the heart and ſpirit, Rom. 8.27. he is the God of the ſpirits of all fleſh, Numb. 27.16. 'Tis true indeed, that we want words to expreſs the deſires of our ſouls, and to quicken our affections, eſpecially when praying with others. But when marriage has made you no longer two, but one flesh, and your intereſt and deſires should be one, and the ſame that your prayers may not be hindred; tho the words are not ſo well placed as may recommend to men, yet from a ſincere and united heart they may recommend both to God. And to remove that bashfulneſs, and being ashamed of words in one anothers hearing, remember 'tis not to approve your gifts and parts to each other, but to approve both your hearts to God; ſo that the fear of this want should not diſcourage, and ſo keep you keep you ſtrangers from God.

Conſider then the good things you have and enjoy, and be thankful. Remember 'tis fit to beg of God the continuance of them. Conſider what evil things you either fear or already ſuffer; and beg the Lord to deliver. And if there be any thing in particular that either of you want or deſire, this should be made known to the other, that praying together you may join in that one thing, and pray one for another, as well as one with another. And if you are indeed truly ſenſible of your wants, and have an heart to go unto God, you have a God to go to, who will help your infirmities, even he who made mans mouth; he will put words in your mouths, and teach you what to ſay, ſo that you ſhall not want words for ſupplication and thankſgiving, to make your requeſts known unto God. And when you come thus to God with a ſincere humble devout ſoul, in the name and mediation of Jeſus Chriſt, this is prayer indeed, to which all forms whether ſet or extemporary (where ſuch an heart is wanting) are no way to be compared. This is the language of the ſoul, the heart poured out to God in prayer.

Adv. 4. The fourth advice I give you, is to read the Scriptures together, the word of God. 'Tis the great comfort and help of your ſouls, and a bleſſed advantage of our Nation and the preſent time that we may; and that thereby we may have in our own Houſes that word, promiſe, and Goſpel wherein Chriſt, and thro him life and immortality and ſalvation is made known. Search the Scriptures for therein ye think you have eternal life. Jo. 5.39. So ſearch that the word of Chriſt may dwell richly in you, in all knowledge and Spiritual underſtanding. Col. 3.16. Therein is abundance of hid treaſure, the unſearchable riches of Chriſt. Something of this should be read every day. Reading the Scripture should accompany Prayer, at leaſt in the evenings. And let this practice be kept as a conſtant cuſtome, unleſs ſome extraordinary providence, as ſickneſs or the like hinder it. If you begin this at firſt it will with more eaſe be continued, till duty becomes delight, and having taſted the ſweetneſs and found the advantage, you will look for it, and think it as neceſſary as food or ſleep. Job. 23.12.

And to this I add this further advice, that you read often good, ſound, and plaine books of practical Godlyneſs. That is at ſuch times as the buſineſs of your calling or trade does admitt: and tell each other of what good books you have read, and what good you have received by them.

But eſpecially on the Lords day in the vacancy of publick ordinances, when you are not at Church then should you read, and not only read, but alſo encourage one another in an holy practice of ſuch good things as the Scripture teaches, and other good books ſet before you, according to the holy Scripture.

Remember that if the husband cannot read, and has a wife that can, to account her worthy of double honour, and, if poſſible, of double love, on that account. But let that wife beware she be not puffed up to deſpiſe her husband, but know that she may yet learn of him, as in reſpect of Judgment, and underſtanding. 1 Cor. 14.35. She muſt not think her ſelf his teacher, nor uſurp authority over him. 1 Tim. 2.12. tho' in this particular a meet helper and great advantage to him.

So alſo if the wife cannot read, and has an husband that can, let her prize him the more on that account, as a greater treaſure, with whom she may have the comfort of a Chriſtian converſation according to knowledg, and living together as heirs of the grace of life. 1 Pet. 3.7.

If neither can read, then you had need be more diligent to ſpend ſuch times of leiſure, in holy and enlivening diſcourſes, conſidering each others eſtate, as in the reſpect of your Souls; and call on one another, that both together may call on the Lord.

And if neither can read it is further adviſable, that you endeavour to get acquaintance and familiarity, with ſome godly Chriſtian neighbour that can read, whither you may often go, and ſpend the evenings (eſpecially before Children come on to hinder) not to waſt time as the worldly cuſtome is, to talk of news you little underſtand, or of the affaires of the town, or parish that little or nothing concern you; but to deſire them to read ſome portion of the Scripture, or other good book, to help you in the great concern of your Souls.

Or if your buſineſs in the world be ſuch as admits of taking prentices or Servants, labour to have ſuch as can read, they may on that account be of more advantage to the family then their bodily labour.

And this I alwayes look upon as duty, that, if Servants cannot read, you endeavour that they may be taught; and if they can read, 'tis your duty to keep them to reading at fit times: and 'tis prudence ſo to do, as it is profitable to your ſelves and family.

I shall conclude theſe two laſt advices with a caution which I hinted before: that you be not ashamed of weakneſs and inability in private before each other, either in reſpect of reading or praying. I mean not to neglect theſe private duties, becauſe you think you cannot do them well enough, & therefore do not do them at all, becauſe one shall not take notice how weak or ignorant, the other is.

This oftentimes is a ſnare, and great occaſion of neglect, and if not carefully avoided, may make all the advices here offered, to be to no purpoſe, if you ſuffer this ſinful bashfulneſs to hinder the beginning or ſetting about the work, till you think your ſelves better fitted and more able. Satan and your own evil hearts will be ready to ſuggeſt this often, as a means to promote delay, and ſo 'tis made too often a continual hindrance.

But to prevent this, if poſſible, I propoſe theſe Conſiderations.

1. Firſt conſider, that marriage having now made you one flesh, there is no reaſon to be ashamed of doing your duty, tho' you perform it but weakly, becauſe you ought in Juſtice to think, that ſo near a relation as part of your ſelf, will not deſpiſe, but rather pitty, and help as one flesh. And as they ought, will cover with the robe of love, the infirmities that poſſibly may be diſcovered. Becauſe now that which is the shame or diſgrace of one reflects on the other, and ſo becomes the diſgrace of both, and for one to deſpiſe the other, is to dishonour themſelves, and none ever yet ſo hated his owne fleſh.

Two members of the ſame body, may be touched with grief for the weakneſs of each other, but not with shame, but rather help and beare the more of the burden, if either be weake; ſo the poor beaſts drawing in the ſame yoke, are not ashamed to help tho' not ſo ſtrong as their fellow. So tho' thou art ſenſible that thou canſt not do as thou wouldeſt, yet do this duty as well as thou canſt, and be not ashamed, for 'tis thy duty.

2. Secondly conſider what great folly it is to pretend to be ashamed to do thy duty, becauſe thou canſt do it but weakly, and therefore to leave it undone when thou art not ashamed of thy ſin, in neglecting ſuch plain and neceſſary duties, which tend ſo much to the glory of God, thy intereſt in Chriſt for thy Souls good, and are ſo cheif a part of Chriſtian love to thy yoke-fellow. Let Conſcience tell thee which is worſt, to do duty willingly and ſincerely tho' weakly, or to let it alone undone. Sure that is shame indeed.

3. Conſider, that it is only want of uſe and exerciſe in this duty, that makes you bashful, and therefore you are loath to begin, but if you will begin and maſter thoſe firſt reluctancies, you will find that practice will make you dayly both bolder and abler.

4. This pretended shame and bashfulneſs will be a continual hindrance till you begin. This will make you draw back when convinced of duty, and Satan will hold this argument faſt, and uſe it long in the war againſt thy Soul. And when there is nothing elſe to hinder but shame, if ashamed to day, the ſame argument will hold to morrow, and the like the next day, and ſo on, as a continual pretence for neglect, till you begin; but then no longer. For if once you have begun, shame is broken, and troubles you no more, or at leaſt but weakly.

Now conſider every one has a beginning: and beginnings, in all, are uſually weak in reſpect of after improvements, and performances. Be not then longer ashamed to begin, 'tis God commands, the neceſſities of both your Sou's require, Chriſt has prepared the way, Heb. 10.19. Therefore put on boldneſs, and you will grow more able, and find more comfort.

Adv. 5. The fifth advice I give, is that you ſanctifie the Sabbath, the Lords day, joyne together in this at the firſt, and take the more diligent heed to do this, becauſe you cannot but obſerve that it is generally too much neglected; notwithſtanding that plain command of God. Ex. 20.8. Therefore as God has ſet that day apart from others, for himſelf, and commanded you to do ſo alſo, do you ſet that day apart to be ſpent by you in the Spiritual buſineſs of God and your Souls.

And if you know that either have neglected before marriage, then you have the more need to deal faithfully; in warning one another, and telling each other plainly of the Sin in that particular: eſpecially if you have been the occaſion to one another of neglecting the Sabbath. This too often is the Sin of people of a mean or low condition (tho' not of thoſe only) that make their wooing viſits, appoint ſuch meetings for idle walks mixt with folly and prophane diſcourſe or idle chatt on that day. An ill beginning, and poſſibly may be the cauſe in great meaſure of ſo many unlucky marriages, which afterwards go on in ungodly living, and tend to increaſe of miſery.

If this then has been your caſe, you have the more need to bring one another to a ſenſe of that ſin, and to a ſpeedy change and newneſs of life, when you have been the occaſion of enſnaring each other in ſo great an evil.

Wherefore ſpend not your firſt Sabbath in idle and needleſs viſits, to ſee new couſins and new neighbours. Neither ſpend that nor any other Sabbath at home in ſloth and folly, under pretence of reading a chapter. But go both together to Church to the ordinances and publick aſſembly of Gods people, and never neglect as the manner of too many is Heb. 10.25. unleſs hindred by ſome extraordinary providence. And when you are returned home from the Ordinances, ſpend your time religiouſly: in reading ſome portion of the Scripture, or other good book. Or talking together of what you have heard read or preached in the publick, how it concerns or may concern either of you, and perſwade and encourage one another to an holy and ſerious praetice, & conclude as you begin the day with prayer. And ſo comfort your ſelves together and ediſie one another. 1 Theſ. 5.11. And by no means make it your cuſtome to wander abroad on the Sabbath evenings, unleſs it be to ſome Religious neighbours, that mind the things of God, and keep up ſome good duty, as reading or repeating of Sermons or the like. And learn of ſuch how to governe your family in the fear of the Lord, as every good man should. Joſh. 24.15.

Or elſe on good and warrantable accounts, you may go and carry ſome good book to a neighbour that cannot read. And read to them and their family, for their Souls good and comfort.

Or elſe in the ſame Spiritual manner, viſit ſuch as can read, but do not; who you may juſtly doubt are careleſs of their Souls. And buy a book for that purpoſe, ſo may you do good both to your ſelves and them.

Or if you cannot read, not find a neighbour family to joyne with, that uſually does ſo ſpend the Sabbath, labour to procure one that can read to go along with you in thoſe Spiritual errands before mentioned.

Or if, as Gods providence calls, you viſit ••• h as are ſick; (a thing uſual on the Sabbath day, and not to be diſcommended) yet be not as idle lookers on: only with Complement and how do you do: but bring unto them ſome Spiritual preſent from the Church, from Gods houſe, ſome word of exhortation, or comfort, or inſtruction as they may need. And ſuppoſing there be no elder grave and ſerious perſon that will ſpeak as a Chriſtian, do you ſpeak as becomes Chriſts ſervant, for their Souls good, and diſcharge of your own Conſcience.

O, if you have but an heart towards God, how many wayes have you to do good for your ſelves and others, and to ſpend that day in Religion and Piety, the exerciſes of Charity, works of Mercy, and holy love! A joy and comfort that the ignorant dark world are ſtrangers to.

Adv. 6. One further advice I give in the ſixth and laſt place, and that is, that you admonish and ſtir up one another to the Solemn and ſerious coming to the Lords Table, there to receive together the Holy Sacrament of the Lords Supper, thereby to renew your vow in Baptiſim; on your entrance on your changed condition in the married ſtate. Therefore take the firſt opportunity after you are married, and help each other before to prepare for it. You are now become one, diſcover therefore freely the ſtate of your Soules, to each other, your thoughts and knowledg in this matter, your hopes, your doubts and fears, and pray for one another, and direct and aſſiſt each other to underſtand and to do as God in his word requires, and promiſe together to watch over one another in the love and fear of the Lord, and to help each other to walk anſwerably to the Covenant; that being joyned to each other, you may both be united to Chriſt, one with him, and he with you.

But eſpecially if neither have receiv'd the Sacrament, as 'tis too often the ſinful neglect of young people, forgetting their Baptiſmal vow, and covenant of their youth: 'tis then more neceſſary to call on one another, and a great token of true love to labour to bring each others Soul under the bond of the covenant. To ſee the Sinfulneſs of their neglect, and make one another ſenſible of it, and haſten that it may no longer continue.

Yet beware that you come not ſlightly and careleſſly to attend there, and, by miſtake, take the Sacrament for a ceremony, Cuſtom, fashion in Religion, or you know not what, and ſo come ignorantly and without faith, and ſo not only unprofitably but to your danger; But help each other to conſider what the Sacrament is; why appointed; and how uſeful to you in every condition.

Learn to know that it was appointed by Chriſt himſelf as a ſolemn remembrance of what he has done and ſuffered for the Redemtion of mankind: and to be as a Seale of confirmation, to all true believers, of their share and portion and intereſt in Chriſt, as indeed given to them according to the Covenant.

And on our part the Seal of renewing our Reſolutions of accepting of Chriſt, and giving up our ſelves to God according to the Covenant of God in his Grace and Mercy, as we promiſed or was promiſed for us at our Baptiſm: ſo we come to receive Gods renewed promiſes, and to renew our owne. And ſo it becomes (thro' Gods grace) a means of ſtirring up all Chriſtian graces in us, and of keeping down the power of Sin, by the Spirit of Chriſt (according to the promiſe of God) and Divine aſſiſtance. And this it is indeed to all that come ſincerely and in earneſt, deſiring to be and to continue true members of Chriſts Body, united unto him, and continuing in the Communion of Saints in ſtedfaſt Faith, and holy obedience, and joyful hope, & thankful love.

Come then together as fellow heirs of the ſame grace: and renew your Baptiſmal vow and engagement, with knowledg and underſtanding, thankfully and ſincerely accepting of, and receiving Chriſt as offered to your Souls by God the Father in the Goſpel; believing the whole word of God, and reſolvedly and thankfully giving up your ſelves to God thro' Chriſt; Heartily and ſincerely conſenting to the covenant, to be Gods people, and to take him for your God; his Son for your Saviour; his Spirit for your Guide, and Sanctifier; his Word for your Direction; his Promiſes for your Comfort, Hope, and Truſt: Renouncing all other, the devil and his workes, the world and its vanities, the flesh and its luſts, that in heart and practice you may ſo live, as the Goſpel teaches, in comfortable expectation of the Goſpel-promiſes thro' Chriſt. For further help in this matter, read thoſe Chapters which contain the inſtitution; as, 1 Cor. 11.23. Lu. 22. Math. 26. And ſuch Books of that ſubject as you can have, as Mr. Glanvil on the Sacrament. The Key of Knowledg short and plain. The whole duty of Man, Sunday 3d. Some one of theſe, read together, and talk together, and enquire of each others Souls welfare, of knowledg, ſaith, repentance, charity, and reſolution of holy obedience, by renewed life, in the married eſtate, giving up your ſelves to God thro' Chriſt, and promiſe this to each other, and both to God.

And if you have never been at the Sacrament, then after ſuch private preparation, go together to your miniſter whom Gods providence has ſet over you, to watch for your ſouls, and deſire his help in ſetling the caſe of your ſouls, for increaſe of knowledg, ſtrengthening of faith, quickening repentance, and directing your practice in every good thing. And ſo receive to the renewing of your Covenant, and to be further ſtrengthened in Grace.

But when I ſay, go to your Miniſter, I ſuppoſe him ſuch an one as you may think a fit guide for your ſouls, honeſt, holy, and a lover of God, and the unſeen Jeſus, and for his ſake a lover of ſouls. Such as the Apoſtle deſcribes 1 Tim. 3. and 2 Tim. 2.15. Or if you cannot diſcern all this in him, get one that is religious, given to Piety.

But if ſo be that your habitation be where a ſot, or trifler, has thruſt himſelf into the Miniſtry, or creept in by ways not allowed of in Gods word, nor the Conſtitutions of the oſtabliſhed Church, grounded upon that word; who ſpends more time in idle company, or vaine ſports, and fleshly pleaſures, then in the things of God, that denyes in life the power of Godlineſs. I cannot, I dare not adviſe you to go to ſuch an one, nor to commit the care and conduct of your ſouls to him, that regards not his own, which may indeed more hinder then help your ſoul: But as that Exhortation in the Book of Common-Prayer provides, to ſome other diſcreet and learned Miniſter of Gods word. That ſo by his aſſiſtance and Spiritual counſel you may come worthily, and renew the Covenant. And in all be ſure that you be ſincere, in earneſt, and deale faithfully with God and your ſouls, which will end in comfort, and go far to cover many infirmities.

Theſe are the Advices which I now give you, and which I therefore give becauſe chiefly neceſſary, and therefore I heartily intreat you to Conſider of them at firſt, and enter betimes on the way of living together in the fear of God.

There are divers other things, the duties of married perſons, which it is not my purpoſe to ſpeak of now: you may find them in ſeveral good books, and at your leiſure read them, for the quickening of Chriſtian love and holyneſs, and increaſe of Grace. And unleſs you ſet about theſe chief things betimes, and betake your ſelves in earneſt to God at firſt; it will be in vain to ſet other duties before you. But if it pleaſe the Lord to open your hearts to ſet on the practice of theſe things betimes, I doubt not but you will find the comfort and advantage both of theſe things, and others alſo, as you may partly perceive in the next Section.

Sect. III. Shewing the advantages that newmarried people have to begin to live together in a Religious courſe of life. And the Benefits of ſuch a beginning.

THat I may further proſecute theſe my wishes and advices, I will here add ſomething of perſwaſion that may incline you to take this way of holy love, and life, and joy, by entring betimes on a courſe of religious living. I shall therefore in this Section, endeavour to shew that it is both, what you may do with moſt advantage at firſt, and alſo that in which you will find many advantages and comforts afterwards.

And therefore for encouragement I will make it plaine that this may be done at firſt with moſt eaſe. 'Tis not a diſſicult task (one would think) at any time to begin to be good and do good. It always carries its own encouragement and advantage along with it. But we find by experience that corrupt nature is not ſo eaſily changed; yet there are ſome particular advantages in beginning betimes, and new-married people have ſome peculiar advantages at their firſt coming together in reſpect of doing this good work, entring on this good way with more eaſe, which favourable circumſtances they are not like to find afterward, if they let ſlip the preſent Opportunity.

Some of thoſe advantages moſt eaſily obſerved are ſuch as theſe.

1. The firſt advantage is the change of your condition: for however it has been with you before in reſpect of life and converſation; yet upon marriage you are put upon a change as to the manner of life: and that is like being come to a turning way, you may as eaſily go to the right hand as to the left, if you are but willing. If you have been ſeaſoned with Grace before marriage; no doubt but the way of God will be more eaſily turned to. But if you have not; yet now on your change you have a new choice, and being to begin the practice of your living together, you may as eaſily begin in a religious and holy, as in a proſane and irreligious way; you are not yet prejudiced by former careleſneſs in that manner of life which is but now beginning. But if you now at firſt neglect, you looſe the preſent advantage, and prejudice your ſelves againſt the good way of the Lord, and every dayes neglect or evil practice will make the work ſeem harder to be ſet about.

2. The ſecond advantage is, that at firſt it is moſt eaſy to perſwade one another, the affections are then moſt yeilding and complyant. So that Then you may have the greateſt hopes to prevaile one with the other, and ſo engage together in a holy and religious life. Eſpecially if one have been accuſtomed to the way of true Godlineſs before, this may now the more eaſily prevail with the other to joyn in the good and the right way. The influences of the firſt love are great, and newmarried people are prepared (for the moſt part) to ſuit themſelves to each others tempers and inclinations, and do moſt eaſily yeild to each others defires as in promiſing to leave off ſomething that is offenſive to the other; or to do ſomething that is pleaſing. And we are ſenſible how ſtrong and prevailing the perſwaſions of new-married people are to each other, in that they work great changes upon ſome. Now the perſwading to follow ſuch advices as theſe, being to thoſe things that are undeniably good, muſt neceſſarily meet with the leſs oppoſition, when the husband ſtirs up the wife, or the wife the husband, to that which is for the ſouls good, and comfortable to it in this preſent life.

3. A third advantage you have at your firſt coming together is, that ſome ſuch thing is expected; in doing of this, you do what is looked for at your hands. In a Country where the Goſpel is profeſſed, new kindred, friends and neighbours, will be enquiring as to matter of Religion, and ſomething they will expect, tho' they are not in earneſt with it themſelves, and will make ſome Judgment of your life hereafter, by the manner of your firſt beginning to live together. Your partner and yoke-fellow, will be looking for this; and if bred up Religiouſly, will think it ſtrange that the way of Religion should not continue; and although not bred up ſo; yet the man will expect that the woman be well inclined, and tho' he regards not Religion himſelf will expect that she should at ſome time ſpeak ſomething of that Nature. And the woman that regards her husband, in reſpect of his Knowledg, will look that he should help and aſſiſt her in Spiritual things, and that he by this should give the firſt teſtimony of true love. And what indeed can profeſſed Chriſtians offer better then true Chriſtian love to ſouls, in the way of God, and ſincere Religion? The beſt is expected; and this being offered at firſt, will be accepted, and eſteemed (as indeed it is) the beſt we can offer. So then the way is prepared, and this makes it eaſy: 'Tis eaſy to do that which is generally expected you should do. And indeed you may well wonder at your ſelves if Satan should ſo deceive you, that you should fall short of your own Expectations.

4. The fourth advantage that young married people have to ſet about Religious duty's both ſecretly and in their families, at their firſt coming together is, that then thoſe hindrances of Children, and a great deal of worldly buſineſs is not juſtly to be pleaded in excuſe, which afterwards may; tho' there is no reaſon, that theſe or any thing elſe should keep from God in Chriſt, in whom and on whom we live. Nothing can excuſe you from the care of your ſouls; without that no good can come, nor profit be expected, tho' you should gain the whole world. Yet the corruption of nature, and the policy of Satan, being joyned will make ſuch arguments appear reaſonable: and experience shews us, that ſuch vaine pleas are too prevailing, and in time raiſe ſuch difficulties, as are hardly to be removed, but may with eaſe be prevented at firſt, when they cannot be pretended.

Let theſe advantages then perſwade you to try what you can do at firſt to engage each other to promiſe to be faithful to God, and one to the other in living together religiouſly: praying and reading together, & helping one anothers Souls, & watching to prevent ſin, in each other, and in reſolving to rule your family as the Lords Servants. Conſider what comfort you may have in perſwading and engaging one another to theſe things, when you know not but hereby you may be the means of ſaving each the other.

And if either of you can prevail for a promiſe (which I can ſcarce doubt if ſincerely deſired at firſt) then let each write their name or make ſome mark at this place for a remembrance of the promiſe. And look on it ſometimes to quicken to continuance in mutual duty, and to comfort you, in that you have begun to look in earneſt towards the Lord. And in caſe of coldneſs and neglect of Duty, that one may shew it to the other as a gentle and ſilent admonition, a token whereby to remember the early holy promiſes of Your firſt Love. It may be a means to keep you from back-ſliding, and make you ashamed to fall off from ſo good an engagement and promiſe, ſo as having begun in the Spirit to end in the flesh.

But before I conclude this Section, I will ſet before you ſome of thoſe benefits you may obtain by early beginning in this holy way. I hope I have made it manifeſt to be eaſy enough to a willing mind. And I alſo hope, that what follows of the benefits which will come thereby, will yet give further encouragement, and encline your hearts to be willing to enter on ſo comfortable and hopeful a practice.

1. There is the benefit of credit and reputation in the world. Tho' Religion be generally too much ſlighted, yet we may obſerve, that moſt men will commend thoſe that on marriage, break off from their evil ways, and ſettle themſelves to mind and do that which is good.

2. Next there is the benefit of hopefull proceeding. A good beginning generally has got the reputation in the world, as giving the moſt probable hope of a good ending. A good foundation gives the promiſe of a laſting building. And in any thing to have begun well is eſteemed more then half the work.

But 'tis not only hopefull in the judgment of men, but God in his word both commands and commends early beginnings. So that this is Gods way, and in his way you may juſtly expect his bleſſing, and that beginning betimes, you shall continue in the good way. Train up a Child in the way he ſhould go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Prov. 22.6. That is, ſuch do not uſually miſcarry, tho' ſometimes they may. So alſo begin the married ſtate in the fear of God, and perſwade and engage one another at firſt to ſet your ſelves in the good and the right way, and then you will not eaſily depart from it afterward, but more eaſily continue living in the Love of God and each other when you are old.

3. A third benefit you will have becauſe early beginnings in good, prevent thoſe ill habits, and cuſtoms in evil which are ſo hard to be changed, and difficult to be broken. And in this caſe a reſolved beginning in a Religious way, will prevent thoſe corrupt inclinations to ſlight God and his way, and the living as beaſts, without God in the world, and prevent that hardening of heart againſt the word preached, and all that danger of delaying ſloth, which uſually grows by continuance.

4. A fourth benefit is, that the beginning in a Religious way to live together, and going on conſtantly, tho' weakly, will make the practice eaſy and natural, and cuſtome comes up to a ſecond nature: This takes off all that indiſpoſition and reluctancy, which muſt ſometime or other be removed before it will be well with you; and the ſooner the better; this will make the practice of holy living, not only eaſy but pleaſant, as skill and knowledg increaſes; Therefore the advice is good (tho' of an heathen) chuſe the beſt way, and cuſtom will make it eaſy, and delightful. And you will look for reading and prayer, as you do for your meat or ſleep. And what ſeem'd difficult at firſt by uſe and practice will become eaſy, pleaſant and neceſſary.

5. The fifth benefit is this: the beginning at firſt to exerciſe a Godly love, to endeavour to bring each other to the knowledg and love of God and Chriſt, and the holy Spirit, by a ſerious practice of Religion, will beſt ſettle true and laſting affection toward each other; for that love which is on the Spiritual account, and for the Souls good is like to be laſting. We are apt to judg of each other by our firſt moſt intimate and familiar converſe, what appears before may be the effect of Caution, but the intimate familiarity of marriage makes diſcoveries without reſerve: and when you find in each other, when moſt retired, a ſober converſation, tending to piety, vertue and true Religion, in the life and power of Godlineſs, and conſider that the end of ſuch a converſation is Chriſt and laſting love, The ſame yeſterday, to day and for ever; There are peculiar charms, and a winning ſweetneſs in ſuch a diſcovery, which will cauſe you to value each other the more, when one or both may ſay with a well grounded confidence: God has given me one of his children to be my yoke-fellow.

6. Laſtly to all there may be added the Spiritual benefit, or advantage of the divine help. Which never fails ſuch a courſe of life, Thoſe that ſeek me early ſhall find me. Prov. 8.17. And the ſooner this is obtained, the better it will be for you: for in this is union to Chriſt, and thro' him to God; and if you abide in this Spiritual love to one another, you abide alſo in the love of God, and are under the comforts of his promiſes of bleſſing: ſo tho' there may be troubles, loſſes, diſquiets, as to outward things, yet herein is the hope and aſſurance of being within the everlaſting Covenant of God, ordered in all things and ſure. There are alſo promiſes of outward proſperity, to encourage to this. Godlineſs has the promiſe of the life that now is: as well as of that which is to come. 1 Tim. 4.8. The Tabernacle of the upright ſhall flouriſh. Prov. 14.11. By acquaintance with God, peace and good are obtained. Job. 22.21. He gives all things needful and makes not his gifts ſorrowful. His bleſſing maketh rich, and he adds no ſorrow with it. Prov. 10.22. Entertain him, and he will preſerve you. Remember him, and think upon his name, and your name ſhall be written in his book of remembrance. Mal. 3.16.

But thoſe that will not entertain God, but ſay to him depart from us, and what can the Almighty do for us? Job. 22.17. It is vaine to ſerve God, and what profit is there that we have kept his ordinances? Mal. 3.14. To what purpoſe is it to pray, or read, or look to keeping of the Sabbath, to hinder us in our buſineſs, and take up our ſpare time, that we shall have none for pleaſure and recreation, they are well that have time for theſe things, they may do them, thus they call the proud happy.

Such triflers may (if they pleaſe at their peril) enjoy the delights of the flesh, and the hony moone of carnal earthly pleaſures, & may ſlourish for a time, chearing their hearts in their youth, and walking in the ſight of their own eyes. But all that time they are laying up a curſe, which shall one time or other ſpoile all their worldly delights, their houſe shall ſpew them out, and it ſelf shall be overthrown with the curſe. Prov. 14.11. Which at laſt shall bring them to the King of Terrours, who shall deliver them over to the juſt Judgment of the Almighty Then shall they know that there is a difference between the righteous and the wicked, between him that ſerveth God, and him that ſerveth him not. Mal. 3.18.

More benefits and Spiritual advantages might be shewed, and indeed theſe Spiritual arguments are of greateſt weight, but thoſe, that are not ſenſible of the force of theſe, will not be able to diſcern thoſe of a finer and more Spiritual nature. Therefore I will ſay no more on this Section, only this: Now is the time moſt fitting, and ſo it offers it ſelf as every way favoured with circumſtances of advantage, and gives hope of continuance and proſperous ſucceſs, if as ſoon as you come together, theſe may be ſome of the firſt, as they are really the beſt expreſſions, of true love. But if theſe advices are ſlighted now, and the time ſlipt, and put off (Felix like) till a more convenient opportunity, 'tis greatly to be feared that you will never find it.

And ſo it will appear in the following Section.

Sect. IV. Shewing the diſadvantages that new-married people put themſelves under, by putting off, and delaying to enter on a courſe of Religious living together at firſt.

THE entertaining of excuſes in your family, is a ſign of an unwilling mind, and if excuſes prevail to put off longer, you will find them real hindrances, tho' the heart is convinced of the uſefulneſs of ſuch a courſe. For if you only approve of it as fit and convenient, but own it not as neceſſary; your family will ſuppoſe you are not yet ſettled, and therefore not prepared enough, and you will think that hereafter you will ſet about it, when all (as you think) hindrances are removed.

'Tis therefore fit to bring theſe excuſes under the cenſure of Judgment and conſcience, and then I am perſwaded you will find delaying the greateſt hindrance: and in ſetting about the work the Lord will ſo help, that all thoſe fancied hindrances will appear little or nothing.

But if you ſuffer your ſelves to delay, and pretend to gain fitter time; you will find that to be no advantage, but the means of finding more arguments ſtill to put off further, till at laſt it come to a ſetled courſe of neglect, and then will you ſlight all thoughts and purpoſes of piety altogether.

Thoſe that will not ſuffer themſelves to be made clean, as ſoon as they know of their being dirty, nor uſe the means to heal a wound as ſoon as they are ſenſible of their ſmart and danger, they allow filth to harden, and corruption to ſpread further, and themſelves become leſs able to ſuffer a cleanſing or ſearching cure than they were when they firſt excuſed and neglected.

That therefore you may more plainly ſee the diſadvantage of delaying, by multiplying arguments for excuſes and hindrance, I shall shew this in particular.

1. While you delay, excuſing your ſelves by hindrances, conſider that what you think to be hindrance at firſt, may continue to be ſo alwaies: as ſuppoſe on the new married State, the hindrances are viſiting, or being viſited, new acquaintance among new kindred, it will be the ſame on any change of dwelling: New neighbours and new acquaintance; ſo that this may be always. And if you allow ſo much time neceſſary to be taken up in pretended civility, and think you are thereupon excuſed, and that therefore there is no time needful for real religion, but becauſe you allow ſo much time for complement with the world, you have no time to be in earneſt with God; the very ſame excuſes or thoſe very like them, will be hindrances as long as you live. For other excuſes will ſucceed on as good, and it may be on better reaſons. As particularly, you will think ſo much time has been ſpent in theſe viſits, that now all is little enough to recover your worldly buſineſs that you are caſt behind in, and when that is recovered, then you will ſet about a religious life: but before that comes, ſomething elſe uſes to intervene, to ſuch excuſers, and they ſeldom come to the end of the line, ſo as to have no new excuſe.

But as delay breeds this diſadvantage, ſo pray conſider, 'tis only the token of an unwilling mind, and you are utterly without true excuſe both to God and your own conſciences: for theſe viſitants (who give the firſt ſeeming ground of excuſe) do not uſe to accompany you to your chamber and obſerve your bed; So that in the greateſt of your ſtraits if you have a willing mind, you may begin to pray together, and the bed ſide is no unfit altar for ſuch a morning and evening Sacrifice.

2. The delay at the beginning may be ſtill continued by ſickneſs, in breeding, and the coming on of children. Poor young infants muſt be looked to; ſickneſs or frowardneſs in them will be accounted a juſt and reaſonable hindrance, and is uſed too often as a pretence, when it meets with a delaying and unwilling mind, when indeed there is no juſt reaſon ſo to pretend; as in the fourth advantage in the laſt Section. 'Tis eaſy to find an excuſe for what we have not a mind to. It may indeed be allowed ſometimes as an interruption, but cannot be allowed as a continual hindrance, while there is the cradle or the mothers breaſt to keep peace and quietneſs for the time of reading and prayer.

3. A third diſadvantage is the poſſibility of an increaſe of worldly buſineſs, and this may ſucceed as a continual hindrance; when company and viſits can be no longer a pretence, as in the firſt Paragraph of this Section; So that if you begin not at firſt, when buſineſs is leſs, how can a beginning be expected when buſineſs is really more.

4. The ill cuſtom of negligence will make the heart more dull, and dead to all that is good; confirmed habits are not eaſily to be removed; you will be apt to fancy, that ſo long you have done well enough without prayer and reading, or any religious duty, and may ſtill do ſo.

And then tho' there be no excuſe left, yet you will continue in the neglect; and this at laſt will turn to contempt, and ſo you will caſt it off quite.

5. Fifthly, a great diſadvantage of delaying and putting off, may ariſe under a ſeeming good pretence, that is of being fitter and more able hereafter. You will be apt to think that knowledg and ability will come with age, you are yet too young, when elder you shall be more able and then it will come of it ſelf. But this is a ſore deluſion of Satan, for you will labour ſtill under the ſame diſadvantage, and be as unskilful in the way of righteouſneſs when old, as when young, unleſs you begin to practiſe, when young. And when you find ignorance and inability ſtill continue, whereas you thought it would be otherwiſe; you will be apt to judg this work is not to be done: and then to think it is not required, at leaſt of you, but of the better learned and more able: and you will be ready to ſay; God requires no more then he gives, & he knows you cannot, when indeed 'tis not the want of ability but of a willing mind. And the fault is your own negligence, who would ſo long delay; your own ſinful negligence, that whereas in that time you have delayed, you might have been able by uſe and exerciſe; yet are you as far to ſeek, as when being young, and delayed to that time of age. Heb. 5.12. Still to ſeek for a beginning and ſtill complaining of that, which you pretended hindred you at firſt. Whereas if you had begun in due time, you would have found that uſe and practice (through Gods bleſſing) would have rendred you able and knowing, now by neglect you find your ſelves both weak and ignorant. And ſo tho' 'tis poſſible that one may be more capable of learning a trade at five and twenty years old, then at fifteen, yet we ſee none put off learning ſo long. Becauſe then is the time to uſe it: and uſe by that time makes thoſe that begin early, then to be maſters; which if they had deſerred on hope of better ability, they had certainly been as much to ſeek then as at fifteen.

But theſe particulars are as it were more immediately from your ſelves, but there are other diſadvantages of an higer nature; 'tis true indeed they are diſadvantages cauſed by your own neglect, but now depend more immediatly on a ſuperiour power, and ſtand as brazen walls, a diſadvantage next to impoſſible to be overcome. And that is the long ſlighting the offers that God has made, provoking him to withdraw his divine influences, and to leave you without further calls, admonitions and helps. When the holy and bleſſed Spirit has long waited to be gracious, and it will not yet be, that you will be perſwaded, but are ſtill delaying, and shifting off duty with excuſes, he then departs as grieved Eph. 4.30. The ſtriving and inward motions of the Spirit ceaſe as quenched. 1 Theſ. 5.19. Then as a ship forſaken of the wind thou canſt not move. You can do nothing without Chriſt. Jo. 15.5. And he has offered and called, but you would not conſent, and he that only can help is now departed in diſpleaſure. O what a ſore and dreadful diſadvantage is this, procured by neglect and ſinful delay! And what danger are you in leſt you should be hardned and undone for ever! God has called for your firſt love, and you have put him off with trifing excuſes; And can you think that what you would not have on invitation is ſo cheap a trifle, that you cannot miſs it, but it muſt be allowed you when you will? No no, trifler, 'tis not ſo: this is ſuch a diſadvantage as may make them tremble that are under it, and if well conſidered will ſet you upon timely endeavours to prevent the Danger.

7. Laſtly there is another diſadvantage of the ſame ſort with that laſt mentioned, and that is the curſe of God that the negligent lie under all that time that they refuſe God and Chriſt, and the holy Spirit, and bleſſing to dwell with them. While you neglect the ſerious practice of Religion in private, you loſe all the benefit of the publick ordinances, and the private inſtructions and good wishes of your friends. You hear the word preached or read, but 'tis in vain while you neglect to practice it. You do but deceive your ſelves Jam. 1.22. And put your ſelves further under the curſe of God. And from this neglect the curſe grows more heavy, tho' you perceive it not. Here is indeed that dreadful diſadvantage as the Apoſtle tells us. Heb. 6.7.8.

Thoſe that receive the dew of heavenly inſtructions from Gods word read or preached, or from ſuch books as this, and yet bring forth only briers and thorns, excuſes and neglect, they are nigh to Curſing.

And this is indeed a dreadful ſtate; But I have ſpoken ſomething on this account before in the laſt Paragraph of the former Section, and therefore conclude this.

Sect. V. Shewing that married people ought to take care of each others Souls, and to perſwade each other to the practice of holineſs.

I Have ſet before you the good and the right way, to make the married life a comfortable, joyful, happy ſtate; I have shewed you the advantages of entring on thoſe offered joyes betimes, and the diſadvantages of delaying; even the long loſing the moſt comfortable part of the married ſtate, and the danger of loſing your Souls for ever. Now ſome may think it a very needleſs thing to add more to perſwade; But while Satan and Corrupt nature are ſo prevailing, and true Chriſtian love appears ſo little, there is reaſon to fear, that many will not be prevailed upon by this, and much more alſo. True Chriſtian love is grown ſo rare, that often 'tis not found among thoſe called Chriſtians in the ſame family, and neareſt relations; the love and care of each others Souls, is that which is leaſt regarded, and of all duties of Relations and Kindred, this is neglected or forgot. Men readily entertain Satans Suggeſtions in this reſpect, and the beſt arguments are of no force, when oppoſed by ſuch thoughts as theſe. 'Tis not my duty: I am not bound to it: I think it may go down well with them that ſo live together as you have adviſed: I think I should like to do ſo; But as for perſwading my partner, my wife, or my husband, I have nothing to do with that. To preach is the Miniſters work; let every one look to themſelves, each take their own way; we may do well enough without joyning in Religious duties, or at leaſt without perſwading one another to them. Such are the thoughts of poor corrupted creatures, not willing to joyn with Chriſt in the way of Gods appointment. Now to prevent the ſtop which ſuch thoughts may cauſe, and that without doubting or shifting by excuſes you may with full purpoſe of heart cleave to the Lord; I deſire you would conſider theſe things.

1. Conſider ſeriouſly of ſuch thoughts, as in the preſence of God. Can you verily think that God will allow of ſuch a plea, and excuſe? does Gods word any where approve or favour it? Nay does not his word direct and command the contrary? what elſe is the meaning of thoſe texts: Comfort your ſelves together, and edifie one another. 1 Theſ. 5.11. Exhort one another daily while it is called to day. Heb. 3.13. Conſider one another to provoke to love and to good works. Heb. 10.24. If theſe and the like texts make it the duty of aſſemblies, and communities of Chriſtians, to perſwade one another for their Souls good, much more then is it the duty of neerer relations, and becomes a command of greater force to ſuch, and renders thoſe that neglect it utterly without excuſe. Conſider what is the meaning of that word of the Lord Gen. 4.10. What haſt thou done? The voice of thy Brothers blood crieth unto me. 'Tis the Lords reply to that froward rash anſwer, and inconſiderate excuſe of Cain, who ſaid, am I my brothers keeper? And let conſcience judge if the like word may not be ſpoken to you, if you endeavour not to preſerve (if poſſible) a neerer and boſom relation. Beware then leſt the voice of a perishing Soul cry againſt thy ſinful negligence.

2 Conſider, tho' it were not thy plain Chriſtian duty to endeavour to win thy companion, to Gods way by perſwading; yet be ſure it is not thy duty to forbear perſwaſions: And where there is but a probable appearance of doing good, common human prudence will ſet you on perſwading, if indeed you love. But if you reply, that theſe things beſt come of themſelves, and that perſwaſions are for the moſt part of ſmall purpoſe: conſider if men are hardly brought to the way of piety by perſwaſion, will they more eaſily be brought to it by having nothing ſaid to them? for shame blush at ſuch folly.

3. Conſider, if lawful poſſible promiſes do bind to duty, ought you not to be as good as your word, and to do what you promiſed? Now on that account of promiſe, 'tis certainly your duty both in ſight of God and man. You have ſolemnly promiſed as in the preſence of God, and God requires it of you, and all true Chriſtian friends, and ſober Chriſtians are looking how you will behave your ſelves.

That you may more diſtinctly remember your promiſes, I adviſe you to take theſe helps.

1. Read over ſometimes the office of Matrimony as in the Common Prayer-Book, and with ſeriouſneſs and conſideration, think on your marriage Vow; and what you promiſed to each other when you conſented to the married ſtate. That is to live together in love according to God; holy ordinance. I ſuppoſe you know that is to be meet helps to each other, this is the appointment of God from the beginning. And does this Ordinance or appointment of God reſpect help only in order to the good of the Body, and not help for the Soul alſo? I am fully perſwaded that none dare ſay ſo, but that it fully includes the help for the Souls good alſo. And then think whether it be not your duty to defire each the other, and endeavour to perſwade each other to take the good and the right way for your Souls good, to live together according to Gods holy ordinance, as you have promiſed.

2. Read over the prayers then to be uſed, and think whether you did then truly deſire thoſe things, or elſe minded them not, and ſo mocked God. Or do you yet deſire thoſe things indeed? If you do, you muſt acknowledg it your duty to endeavour to engage each other to that holy practice, ſo to live together in holy love, according to Gods Law, and that you may ſee your Children Chriſtianly and vertuouſly brought up, to the praiſe and honour of God, that you your ſelves hinder not thoſe bleſſings you then begged of God.

3. Read alſo thoſe well choſen Scriptures, that teach the duties of husbands and wives to each other, and let them be as notes of memorial to bring you to your Bibles, and ſo to bring you to your duty, to perſwade each other, that you may thro' Chriſt Jeſus come together to God.

I wish theſe things may be conſidered and prevail alſo. I know they are ſufficient (if ſeriouſlly conſidered) to incline the mind, and if that be but made willing, I make no doubt but that I shall convince you that you are able, and that you can do much by way of perſwaſion, if you pleaſe.

Sect. VI. Shewing that young people are able to perſwade one another, (if they are indeed willing) to enter on Gods holy way.

I Might now juſtly leave it to your conſciences to judg; and am confident you muſt approve in the general of what I am perſwading you to. But I know that tho' you are convinced, that is, fully perſwaded, that you ought to do ſo, yet while corruption prevails, the unwilling heart will find ſome thing to hinder from doing: And tho' at laſt you are convinced that 'tis your duty, and that you ought to call upon, and to perſwade each other to lead a Religious life, yet you are ready to ſay, or think, that you know not how to do it, and therefore there is but ſmall likelyhood that you should prevail, and therefore you reſolve to let it alone altogether. You may ſay, I am periwaded that I ought to do it, but I cannot tell how to do it, and therefore I will not do it.

Thus an unwilling mind is eaſily diſcouraged in this matter; eſpecially in ſuch as have not before ſome ſavour of Religion and liking to a Religious life.

To ſuch I anſwer and ſay, you may endeavour if you are willing indeed: to endeavour is certainly in your power, eſpecially at firſt, when all circumſtances make ſuch endeavours more eaſy and hopeful in reſpect of ſucceſs; as I shewed before in the former part of the third Section.

Beſides you have endeavoured in other things when there was as little likelyhood of prevailing, and in caſes to which you were as much ſtrangers, as you are in this: ſo alſo may you endeavour now in this, and how can you tell but you may prevail?

If you enquire what you may do to win each others love to the Lord, and to perſwade each other to walk in his ways, call to mind what ways you took to gain the affection of each other for marriage, the like method of intreating and entertaining, followed with equal diligence and care, in all probability will be ſuccesful, and may be as effectual in this matter as in the other.

1. Remember what wayes you took to get acquaintance, and to find opportunities of favourable acceptance. So now be as watchful to procure opportunities to bring each other to God. And when alone in ſecret, ſeek to perſwade to this: And obſerve which is the fitteſt ſeaſon to bring either to a promiſe.

2. Remember how careful then you were, to do nothing to diſpleaſe one another, but that you might ſtill find the ſame favourable countenance. So now much more labour that all your carriage may be ſo pleaſing, that all things on both parts may be ſo ordered, that the duties of Religion may be delightful and not ſeem a burden.

3. Then you could forbear many things which you knew were diſpleaſing to each other; ſo now alſo forbear all that may hinder each other in this good thing. Let the man avoid all unneceſſary ſpending of time abroad, and let the woman avoid all negligence at home, that all things may be in order for reading, and prayer, at the hour appointed.

4. Then you could talk of love, and almoſt nothing elſe, and make great pretences at leaſt, now then talk as much and as often of the love of God, and his love to Souls. and of your love to the Souls of one another, and talk of the Goodneſs of God and of his holy waies; that thereby you may excite and inflame each other with love to God, and goodneſs, and what you could talk of without any help but natural inclinations, now in this you may have the help of God, his word, his grace, and holy Spirit.

5. Then you could uſe arguments to win love, and propoſe advantages, enquire reaſons of denial, and anſwer their objections. So may you now uſe arguments to win each other to the love of God: shew each other the advantages of an holy and heavenly living together. How it will ſtrengthen natural affection, end enable to bear all croſſes, and worldly troubles: Ask what should hinder a reſolution to joyn in ſo good, ſo comfortable a deſign, and anſwer what may be ſaid againſt it with the Spirit of love and mildneſs.

6. Then you would take no denial, but ask again and again. So may you now to win each other to the ways of God. And be not wearied, for this is well doing. Continue to uſe the fitteſt opportunities, till you have perſwaded each other, to be willing to embrace the ways of God, to go to God together, to go to heaven together.

Can you deny me this? (you may jnſtly ſay) this that is ſo much for our comfort, both in ſickneſs and in health, and even in death it ſelf? I will never leave asking till I have obtained.

7. Remember how then you could bear with patience, all peevishneſs, and mourn at refuſal, without anger: ſo now wait in the Spirit of meekneſs, endeavouring to win.

Could you then beg, and wait, and intreat acceptance, and rejoyce, if at laſt you obtained conſent and agreement, and cannot you do ſo now? without ſome ſuch endeavours as theſe, where is the love you talked of? where is that true love to thy partner, and dear yoke-fellow? Where is thy love to thy own Soul? And where is thy love to thy dear Lord? And eſpecially if either find the other backward, and yet loſt in the flesh, and either in words or actions, diſcovering an enmity to a Godly life: They had need mourn for their condition in ſecret, and pray for them in ſecret, but give not over as loſt, but wait and woo with patience, and hope, and prudence. How knoweſt thou but at laſt it may prevail, and that God may make thee the happy inſtrument of ſaving the Soul of thy Partner? 1 Cor. 7.16.

I shall now conclude with ſome few conſiderations to encourage to this duty: or ſerious endeavours at leaſt. You are hereby in a probable way of reaping much comfortable fruit.

1. Conſider, if this be attained to, that both are willing, and deſirous, and reſolved thus to ſeek the Lord, and to live in his way as in covenant with him; how great the bleſſing of holy peace and comfort, will be at preſent in this life; God dwelling in ſuch families, where his Worship is ſet up, and his holy way followed. God promiſes to ſuch and ſayes I will walk among you, and will be your God, and ye shall be my people Lev. 26.11, 12. And if you love indeed and ſeek the welfare of each others Souls, this muſt needs yeild the pleaſant fruit of mutual comfort, in each other at preſent. And without that all worldly advantages and ſeeming comforts will be but bitter troubles.

2. Conſider, when you have won each other to this holy practice, there is comfort in hope, a well grounded hope, of which you will be able to render a reaſon to any that may ask you. 1 Pet. 3.15. Hereby in this preſent life you are laying a good foundation, for an holy family, if God hereafter shall increaſe you with Children, and Servants: you have choſen for them the beſt portion, the moſt ſecure protection, even the Almighty preſerver. And in ſome meaſure have done your duty, anſwerable to your prayers, in taking care that your Children may be Chriſtianly & vertuouſly brought up, to Gods Glory: and may juſtly expect ſuch a proſperity that may not be a ſnare, but that your Souls may proſper, or a ſanctified adverſity for you and yours. And then in the end of life, and finishing your dayes on earth, how great a comfort will it be to think, that all shall meet in heaven, pleaſant and comfortable in this life. And the more pleaſant in this, that in death you shall not be divided, neither one from another, nor either from God. And then the comforts, already taſted, will be enlarged to the full.

Methinks this conſideration ſingly it ſelf, is enough to quicken and perſwade to endeavour, that is, the having a grounded hope of meeting together in the glories of heaven, and joys of the bleſſed, and of being inſtruments of bringing and eſtablishing that good in a family, which death cannot deſtroy.

3. Conſider it will be matter of comfort to thoſe that do endeavour, whether man or woman: whether they prevail or not. If you prevail with an ungodly husband, or wife, to turn from the errour of their ways, to do that which is good, and right, in the ſight of the Lord, you ſhall ſave a Soul from death. Jam. 5.20. And cauſe joy in heaven, which is at the converſion of a ſinner. Luc. 15.10. A comfort in it ſelf. Beſides the benefit your ſelf enjoy, in the holy converſation of one renewed, of whoſe renewing you your ſelf have been the happy inſtrument, thro' Gods Grace in the Lord Jeſus. But tho' you prevail not, indeed that conſideration is ſad, where there is love to a Soul, to have ſpent much labour in vain; Yet there is comfor in this, that it is not in vain in the Lord. This was the comfort of the great Prophet Iſaiah complaining for want of ſucceſs, and may be yours, ſurely your Judgment is with the Lord, and your work and reward with God. Iſ. 48.4. If the filthy will be filthy ſtill, and the ungodly will be ungodly ſtill, their blood shall be upon their own head, and you that endeavour to perſwade with ſincerity, have delivered your own Soul, and shall ever bea • in your boſom that comfortable teſtimony of a good conſcience, and peace from God, that paſſeth underſtanding, ſhall keep and comfort your hearts and minds thro' Chriſt Jeſus. P • il. 4.7. And he that shall come, will come quickly, and his reward is with him, to give to every one according as their work shall be, Even ſo come Lord Jeſus. The Grace of our Lord Jeſus Chriſt be with you. Amen.

Prayers for Gods bleſſing & aſſiſting grace to the married couple. Theſe first in order taken out of the publick Office, and fitted for private uſe.

When you are come home on the Wedding-day, or at Evening, and ſo for ſome dayes after, read firſt thoſe Scriptures declaring the mutual duties of man and wife, or elſe ſome other portion of Scripture with attention. And then kneeling down together, endeavour to lift up your hearts to the Lord and ſay.

O Eternal God, creator, and preſerver of all mankind, giver of all Spiritual Grace, the author of everlaſting life, ſend thy bleſſing upon us thy ſervants, who have this day conſented together in holy marriage, and have engaged our word in truth to each other, to live together as man and wife according to thy holy word, and have received a publick bleſſing in thy name. Bleſs us O Lord we beſeech thee in ſecret, and grant that as Iſaac and Rebecca lived faithfully together, ſo we may ſurely perform and keep the Vow and Covenant betwixt us made, and may ever remain in perfect love and peace together, and live according to thy Law, thro' Jeſus Chriſt our Lord. Amen.

God the Father, God the Son, and God the holy Ghoſt, bleſs preſerve and keep us; O Lord mercifully with thy grace look upon us, and ſo fill us with all Spiritual benediction and grace, that we may ſo live together in this life, that in the world to come, we may obtaine life everlaſting. Amen.

O God of Abraham, God of Iſaac, God of Jocob, bleſs us thy Servants, and ſow the ſeeds of eternal life in our hearts. Help us to attend diligently on thy holy word, ſo that we may profit and learn thereby, and be doers thereof. Look O Lord mercifully upon us from heaven, and bleſs us. And as thou dideſt ſend thy bleſſing upon Abraham and Sarah, to their great comfort, ſo vouchſafe to ſend thy bleſſing upon us thy Servants, that we obeying thy will, and always being in ſafety under thy protection, may both abide in thy love, and in holy Chriſtian love to each other, to our lives end, thro' Jeſus Chriſt our Lord. Amen.

O God who by thy mighty power haſt made all things of nothing, who alſo (after other things ſet in order) didſt appoint that out of man (created after thine own image and ſimilitude) woman should take her beginning, and knitting them together, didſt teach that it should never be lawful to put aſunder thoſe whom thou by Matrimony hadſt made one: O God who haſt conſecrated the ſtate of Matrimony to ſuch an excellent myſtery, that in it is ſignified, and repreſented, the Spiritual marriage betwixt Chriſt and his Church; look mercifully upon us thy Servants, whom thou haſt brought to joyn together in the marriage covenant. That I may love this my wife according to thy word, as Chriſt doth love his Spouſe the Church, loving and cherishing her as my own flesh. And alſo that this woman, whom thou haſt given to be my wife, may be loving and amiable, faithful and conſtantly obedient in all Chriſtian love, and in all quietneſs and peace, be a follower of holy and godly Matrons. O Lord bleſs us both, and grant us to inherit thine everlaſting Kingdom, through Jeſus Chriſt our Lord. Amen.

O Almighty God who at the beginning didſt create our firſt parents, Adam and Eve, and didſt ſanctifie and joyn them together in marriage, pour upon us the riches of thy Grace, ſanctifie and bleſs us, that we may pleaſe thee both in body and Soul, and live together in holy love to our lives end. Amen.

Theſe you may uſe, or ſo many of them as you think beſt, only take heed that you may with the words expreſs the true and hearty deſires of your Souls to God, alwayes concluding with the Lords Prayer, as our Saviour in his Goſpel hath taught us to pray ſaying:

OUR Father which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy Kingdom come. Thy Will be done in earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our treſpaſſes, as we forgive them, that treſpaſs againſt us, and lead us not into temptation: but deliver us from evil: for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.

And then add,

The Grace of our Lord Jeſus Chriſt, and the Love of God, and the fellowship of the holy Ghoſt be with us evermore. Amen.

A prayer to obtain Children, to be uſed by thoſe for whom it is neceſſary.

O Merciful God and heavenly Father, by whoſe gracious gift mankind is increaſed, we beſeech thee aſſiſt us both with thy bleſſing that we may neither of us be barren, but both of us fruitful in Children: and alſo may live together ſo long in godly love and honeſty, that we may ſee our Children Chriſtianly and Vertuouſly brought up, to thy praiſe and honour, thro' Jeſus Chriſt our Lord. Amen.

Or inſtead of theſe you may make uſe of either of thoſe that follow, which of them you ſhall think most ſuitable to your condition, to make known the deſire of your heart to the heart-ſearching God.

The married perſons joynt requeſt unto God, taken out of Mr. Hieron's help to Devotion.

THou (O moſt bleſſed God) didſt firſt ordain the married ſtate: and it is thy providence, by which we which were two, are now made one flesh, having mutually reſigned our ſelves either to other by our entrance into this holy League. It is the deſire of our Souls to live together to thy glory, and to the contentment each of other. This we cannot do without thee, (for of our ſelves beſides ſin we can do nothing) unto thee therefore do we commend our moſt earneſt and humble ſuit, that it may pleaſe thee ſo to beſprinkle our Souls with the dew of thy grace, that from thence may ſpring a plentiful increaſe of Sobriety, of righteouſneſs, and of holineſs in our lives. Allay in us all ſenſual and brutish love, purifying and ſanctifying our affections one toward another, that we may in nothing dishonour this honourable ſtate, nor pollute the bed of marriage, which thou thy ſelf in thy word haſt called undefiled; but may uſe this thine ordinance in that holy ſort, that carnal luſts may be ſlaked and ſubdued, not increaſed or inflamed thereby.

Endue us with a godly care to acquaint our ſelves with thy bleſſed word, that we may know and underſtand what duty is required at our hands, what authority tempered with love and compaſſion, and freed from all bitterneſs is committed to the husband; what obedience and ſubmiſſion with reverence is commended in the wife; what faithfulneſs in matrimonial duties either to other is enjoyned; what providence and care is expected of the man, and what aſſiſtance and help of the woman.

And when we know, and have learned theſe things, grant that it may be our ſtudy to practiſe them, that ſo the husband may be as a faithful guide to his wife, and the wife a crown and credit to her husband.

Make us wiſe to obſerve the natures and diſpoſitions one of another, that in all lawful things, the one may ſeek to pleaſe and content the other; the one may know how to bear with, and to forbear the other, not winking at any evil in one another, but diſcreetly chuſing the fitteſt opportunities for mutual admonishing, without all shews of tyranny in the one, or of preſumption in the other. Open our hearts, that we may faithfully and chearfully communicate one to the other, that ſweetneſs which we find in heavenly things, that ſowe may go hand in hand towards heaven. And that our chief love and delight either in other, may be grounded upon the hope we have, that we are heirs together of the grace of life. In our family link us together in one common care, to overſee the wayes of our houshold, to ſeek the promoting and advancing of thy Kingdom, the good inſtruction and education of our Children and ſervants.

Finally O Lord ſo unite and joyn us together in fidelity of affection, that we may ever devote our ſelves to the procuring of the preſent and eternal good one of another: that ſo living here comfortably, we may reign with thee perpetually, in that thy Kingdom, which the blood of thy Son hath prepared for thoſe that love and fear thy name. Unto which Kingdom, O Lord, reſerve us, even for thy Son's ſake, and for thy mercies ſake. Amen.

Another to the ſame purpoſe.

O Lord our God who art pleaſed to look in mercy on thy poor creatures thro' the Lord Jeſus Chriſt, and doſt promiſe to hear the prayers made to thee in his name: we beſeech to hear our prayers and ſupplications, incline our hearts to pray, and be pleaſed to hear, and anſwer us graciouſly, for Chriſt Jeſus ſake. Thou, O bleſſed Lord, haſt ordained the ſtate of marriage; and by thy good providence haſt brought us together in that holy bond, that we might be meet helps for one another. And now O Lord we beſeech thee frame both our hearts to holy deſires, to be helpful to each other both in ſoul and body. And help us by thy Grace, that we may live together in holy love, and aſſiſt each other in faith and repentance and ſincere obedience to thy holy word and will. That we may live together in thy fear, and be both of us ever in thy favour. Put it into our hearts (good Lord) daily to pray, and call upon thy holy name, one with another, and one for another. Enable us to read thy holy word diligently; enlighten our underſtandings, that we may thereby know thy will; and quicken us by thy Grace, and good Spirit, that we may be doers of thy Word. And that being taught thereby, we may learn truly to ſanctifie thy Sabbaths; and to give up our ſelves to thee our God, heartily and entirely in frequent, ſerious, and ſolemn renewing the Covenant, at thy holy Table, in the bleſſed Sacrament of the Lords Supper; and that we may live together as in Covenant with the Lord, and do all that good thou haſt appointed us in this ſtate and condition of life, to which thou haſt called us.

Pardon we beſeech thee all our Sins for Chriſt Jeſus ſake. And all that vanity whereby we may have enſnared each other, ſince our firſt acquaintance, either in thought, word or action, ſavouring too much of the flesh, and unbecoming Chriſtian purity. Keep us henceforth in holy Spiritual love, that we defile not the honourable marriage-bed, by deſires too ſenſual, but that we may be inſtruments of each others chaſtity and purity, both in Soul and Body.

Take from us all dullneſs of mind and backwardneſs to Religious duties, and both teach and enable us ſo to order our worldly affairs, that our minds and hearts may be alwayes free for thy ſervice and worſhip.

Give us we beſeech thee, the Spirit of wiſdom and of a ſound mind, that with all gravity and ſoberneſs we may govern and rule our ſelves and families, in thy faith and fear, and love (as becomes thoſe that are followers of the holy and bleſſed Jeſus) as taught by thy holy word.

Be pleaſed to make us both inſtruments of good to others, eſpecially to our kindred and neighbours to the comfort and releef of thoſe that are in want, to the inſtruction of the ignorant, to the reproving and reforming the ungodly, and to the good of all. We pray thee alſo to make us diligent in our calling, not • lothful in buſineſs, but as ſerving the Lord. And ſo bleſs our labours and honeſt endeavours in worldly things, that we may have a competency for our ſelves and ours; and to give to thoſe that want.

And further O heavenly Father we humbly intreat thee, to give us both thy Grace, that with pure hearts we may fervently love one another, and provoke one another to love and good works, and watch over each other for the Souls good. And deal faithfully with each other, not ſuffering one one another in carleſneſs of our Souls, or in any ſin, without due, ſerious, ſeaſonable, and compaſſionate warning, in thy fear. And good Lord give each of us ſuch an heart, that we may be willing to be warned of our ſin and danger, and deſirous to be reformed. And good Lord help us ſo to live together, as abiding in Chriſt Jeſus, that which ever of us thou shalt pleaſe to call out of this world firſt, may leave the comfort of a well grounded hope to the ſurviver, that both at laſt shall meet, in purer and undefiled love and joy, in the inheritance of the promiſes, together with the Spirits made perfect thro' the blood of the holy Jeſus, in thy heavenly eternal Kingdom. For the ſake and thro' the mediation of Jeſus Chriſt our only Saviour and Redeemer. Amen.

A prayer to be uſed in ſecret by the married man or woman in reſpect of each other.

O Moſt merciful Father, and eternal God, who haſt appointed, and ſanctified the ſtate of marriage, by thy Command and word, and by thy good providence haſt now joyned me with a partner and companion for the married life. Guide me I beſeech thee by thy good Spirit, that I may do my duty in this ſtate of life to which it hath pleaſed thee to call me. That I may not make the liberty thou giveſt me, an occaſion to the flesh, nor thro' weakneſs turn thy permiſſions to ſenſuality. Pardon, I beſeech thee, all my infirmities and failings in that matter, and help me that in all circumſtances, I may keep a conſcience void of offence, both towards thee my God, and towards men. That I may ſincerely perform my duty towards thee, and with a pure heart be fervently affectionate to my dear yoke-fellow. That I may be a good guide, and example to my family, and in all quietneſs and ſobriety, patience, and prudence, a follower of thoſe who have ſerved thee with godlineſs, and walked in thy Commandments blameleſs. And guide I beſeech thee, my dear yoke-fellow, and endue (him or her) with thy Grace and bleſſing both in Soul and Body. O keep (him or her) I beſeech thee from all temptations, and all inclinations to evil: Give (him or her) an heart to hear and obey thy holy word, and keep (him or her) from all ſickneſs and bodily dangers. And ſo keep us both, in thy fear, and holy love to each other, that we may receive good and religious counſel of each other, and truly follow the ſame, and watch for each others Souls good. So that at the end of a chaſt and holy converſation in the Lord we may together enjoy the promiſed felicity of thy choſen, in thy everlaſting Kingdom thro' our dear and only Redeemer the Lord Jeſus Chriſt. Amen.

A prayer to be uſed by the woman when conceived with child.

O Merciful God, and heavenly Father, who haſt made all things and preſerveſt all things and haſt appointed marriage as the way of continuing the generation of mankind: I deſire to be thankful that thou haſt called me to the holy ſtate of marriage, and in that ſtate haſt given me the bleſſing of the marriage bed, even ſtrength to conceive with Child. The fruit of the Womb is a bleſſing from thee, O God, alone, which all the treaſures on earth cannot purchaſe: And now O Lord I beſeech thee continue thy bleſſing, giving me ſtrength both to bear and bring forth, let the ſickneſs and illneſs attending conception bring me more ſeriouſly to conſider of the ſin of our firſt parents, how the woman was in the tranſgreſſion, and thereby my ſorrows multiplied, that I may be truly humbled for my natural corruption, which, Lord, in thy mercy pardon and cleanſe me from thro' the blood of Jeſus Chriſt; and give me comfort, in that gracious promiſe of the Seed of the Woman, that should break the Serpents head. Lord I humbly beg that the expectation of pains and ſorrow in travel and bringing forth, may bring me to more ſerious thoughts of my Soul and my duty, and may quicken me to repentance, and ſtir up my heart, to lay faſter hold on Chriſt Jeſus by a lively faith that all my ſins may be forgiven; and that I may be more watchful to all Chriſtian duties of my place; and that I may wait with patience the appointed time, and be prepared for life or death, as thou shalt be pleaſed to appoint.

And that I may be ſaved in childbearing Lord ſtrengthen me with thy grace, and keep me by thy power, that I may continue, in faith and charity and holineſs with ſobriety. And when the time appointed for delivery shall come, help me patiently to bear the pangs and thro's and ſorrows. And let them be ſactified to the humbling of my Soul and bring me thro' all I beſeech thee, by thy power and goodneſs. And give me a living child, with all its parts, limbs, and ſences in due order. And grant me in due time a ſafe recovery of former ſtrength, that I may no more remember the anguiſh for joy that a man is born into the world, to become a member of Chriſts Church: that I may be glad in the Lord, who is pleaſed to make me a chanel of bleſſings to my husband and family.

Or if thou ſeeſt fit, to finish my life by this danger in child bearing; be pleaſed to receive me to life eternal in thy heavenly Kingdom. But if it be thy bleſſed will, I deſire humbly to live to ſee my young one brought up, in thy faith and fear. That I may dedicate it to thy ſelf in holy Baptiſm. And inſtruct it betimes in thy holy word, that I and thoſe thou giveſt me, may be thine for ever. Lord hear and help thy poor handmaid, that has no help but thee. To thee I deſire to make my requeſt's known, with thankſgiving for all thy mercies. To thee O Lord, I commit my whole concern, as to a faithful creator. Do thou O Lord hear and help and forgive me, and do for me what in thy heavenly wiſdom ſeems beſt. Even more then I can ask or think; and all for the ſake, and thro' the mediation, of thy beloved Son, the Lord Jeſus Chriſt. Amen.

A prayer to be uſed in a family, either morning or evening, by changing the concluſion.

O Lord! Almighty God, King of Glory, who from the height of thy habitation doſt behold all the inhabitants of the earth, conſidering all their wayes, and providing for them of thy goodneſs: we, O Lord, have received abundantly of thy bounty, and loving kindneſs, for which we deſire to return praiſe and thankſgving. And now we beg the continuance of thy mercy to us. Thou commandeſt us to call on thee. And Lord whither can we come but unto thee, O Lord our ſtrength and our redeemer? O shed abroad thy love in our hearts, and ſtir up our Souls to lay hold on thee, that we may not ſeek thy face in vain. Lord give ear to our prayer, & anſwer us graciouſly.

Lord we confeſs we are unworthy to call on thy holy name, by reaſon of thoſe many ſins with which we are defiled; full of corruption by nature, having ſin dwelling in us, and alwayes preſent with us; by which we offend daily both in thought, word, and deed. We have broken thy holy law by neglecting thoſe duties which thou haſt commanded us, and doing thoſe things which thou haſt forbidden. And we have added to our ſins much ſlightneſs and contempt, not regarding thy wrath; much impenitency, being unſenſible of the filth of ſin; and careleſneſs in not ſeeking to be cleanſed from ſin thro' the boold of Chriſt Jeſus, tho' thy mercy hath provided that redemption for us: O Lord to us belongeth confuſion of face, becauſe we have ſinned againſt thee, ſhouldeſt thou, Lord, be extream to mark all that is done amiſs who could abide it?

But with thee there is mercy and forgiveneſs that thou mayest be feared: thou haſt appointed to poor ſinners an Advocate, thy Son, Jeſus Chriſt, the Righteous who is the propitiation of our ſins, and ſits at thy right hand to make interceſſion for us. In his name O Lord, and for his ſake we beg that thou wouldeſt pardon all our ſins, and blot out all our tranſgreſſions. Give unto us that true and lively faith, that ſincere and hearty repentance, that true converſion and new obedience, that our ſins may be blotted out, and we juſtified freely by thy grace thro' the redemption that is in Jeſus Chriſt. And being reconciled unto thee thro' the blood of thy Son, be pleaſed to take us into thy protection, and defend us againſt all the power of ſin, and deceits of Satan. O let not ſin reign in our mortal bodies, that we ſhould obey it in the luſts thereof, but let the blood of Chriſt purge our conſciences from dead works, to ſerve the living God. That every one of our Souls may be zealous of doing good to thy glory. Teach every one of us to know our ſeveral duties, and by thy grace enable us to do them to thy glory, and the good and Comfort of one another.

Beſtow upon us the bleſſings of this life, ſo far as may be for our Souls good; give unto us, continue with us, & renew for us bodily health, and ſtrength, and all our ſenſes. Provide for us food and raiment, and make us content with the portion thou giveſt, and what in thy wiſdom thou ſeeſt fit to deny us in the things of this life, teach us to bear the want with humility and contented ſubmiſſion, and be pleaſed to make it up unto us in Spiritual bleſſings, that we may uſe the world without abuſing it, and improve every providence to thy glory.

Good Lord prepare us for our latter end; enable us ſo to love that we may die in the Lord, and live for ever with our God.

Be pleaſed to bleſs thy whole Church, eſpecially this nation, in turning every one of us from our iniquities, that our ſins may be pardoned, our Souls ſanctified, & our lives reformed, to thy glory & praiſe, ſo that we may enjoy peace and truth in our dayes, having thy Goſpel ſtill continued among us. To that end we beſeech the bleſs all our governours with holy wiſdom, and all the miniſters of thy word; eſpecially thy Servant under who's miniſtry we are, that he may faithfully deliver thy word, to the edification of our Souls. Comfort all the afflicted with mercies ſuitable to their diſtreſſes, particularly ſuch as we know, or thoſe that deſire to be remembred by us. Lord Sanctifie all their afflictions to their Souls good. Bleſs all our friends and relations with renewed ſanctified hearts and lives, that we may have Godly comfort in them, & they in us, & all of us in Jeſus Chriſt our Lord.

Concluſion for Morning.

WE bleſs thee O Lord for that thou haſt kept us in peace & ſafety this laſt night, and refresht our bodies with quiet reſt and ſleep: we pray thee continue thy goodneſs to us this day, keep us in all our thoughts words and actions from all ſin. Enable us for our work and buſineſs, that we may do good in our place; keep us from ſickneſs and every ſad providence, & bring us to the evening in peace, that our Souls may praiſe thee. And in the end of our lives receive us to thy everlaſting kingdom for the ſake of Jeſus Chriſt our Lord; in whoſe name and words we ſum up all our deſires, as himſelf hath taught us, to pray ſaying:

Concluſion for Evening.

WE thank thee O Lord for thy good providence over us this day paſt, for keeping of us, and providing for us. Pardon we beſeech thee all our ſins, and failings this day; keep us in peace and ſafety this night; refresh our bodies with ſleep convenient for us; bring us to the morning in peace, and be preſent with us when we awake. Guide and preſerve us the next day, & all our dayes, & nights, that we may finish our lives in peace in thy fear, and holy joy, and enter into thy everlaſting kingdom in heaven, for Chriſt Jeſus ſake our only Lord and Redeemer, in whoſe holy name and words we conclude praying as himſelf hath taught us, ſaying:

OUR Father, which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy Kingdom come. Thy Will be done in earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our treſpaſſes, as we forgive them that treſpaſs againſt us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil: For thine is the Kingdom, And the power, And the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.

FINIS.