Advice to young gentlemen, in their several conditions of life· By way of address from a father to his children. By the Abbot Goussault, counseller in Parliament. With his sentiments and maxims upon what passes in civil society. Printed at Paris 1697, and translated into English. — Conseils d'un père à ses enfans sur les divers états de la vie. English

Advice to young gentlemen, in their several conditions of life· By way of address from a father to his children. By the Abbot Goussault, counseller in Parliament. With his sentiments and maxims upon what passes in civil society. Printed at Paris 1697, and translated into English. — Conseils d'un père à ses enfans sur les divers états de la vie. English

Table of contents

Title page

THE PREFACE.

THE CONTENTS.

ADVICE TO Young Gentlemen, In the several Conditions of Life. By way of Address from a Father to his Children, &c.

CHAP. I. General Counsel upon all the Occurrences of Life.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

XIX.

XX.

XXI.

XXII.

XXIII.

XXIV.

XXV.

XXVI.

XXVII.

XXVIII.

XXIX.

XXX.

CHAP. II. Ʋpon the same Subject.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

XIX.

XX.

XXI.

XXII.

XXIII.

XXIV.

XXV.

XXVI.

XXVII.

XXVIII.

XXIX.

XXX.

XXXI.

CHAP. IIII. Ʋpon the same Subject.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

XIX.

XX.

XXI.

XXII.

XXIII.

XXIV.

XXV.

XXVI.

XXVII.

XXVIII.

XXIX.

XXX.

CHAP. IV. Advice concerning what kind of Life ought to be chosen; and after what manner a Man should live in his Profession.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

CHAP. V. Advice how one ought to live in the World.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

CHAP. VI. Advice upon what concerns Religion.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

CHAP. VII. Counsel in respect of the Company you are to keep.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

XIX.

XX.

XXI.

XXII.

XXIII.

XXIV.

CHAP. VIII. Ʋpon the same Subject.

I.

II.

III

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

XIX.

XX.

XXI.

CHAP. IX. Advice concerning Reports.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

CHAP. X. Counsels upon Conscience.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

XIX.

XX.

XXI.

XXII.

XXIII.

CHAP. XI. Ʋpon the same Subject.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

CHAP. XII. Advice upon all that has the Air of Courage, Choler, and promptness to quarrel.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

XIX.

XX.

XXI.

XXII.

CHAP. XIII. Advice concerning the Judgment you ought to make of the Words and Actions of others.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

CHAP. XIV. Advice concerning what thoughts we should have of Greatness and Riches; of our Losses, and the Misfortunes of our Lives.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

XIX.

XX.

XXI.

XXII.

XXIII.

XXIV.

XXV.

XXVI.

XXVII.

XXVIII.

CHAP. XV. Advice upon true and false Devotion.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

XIX.

XX.

XXI.

XXII.

XXIII.

XXIV.

XV.

CHAP. XVI. Ʋpon the same Subject.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

XIX.

XX.

XXI.

XXII.

XXIII.

XXIV.

CHAP. XVII. Advice against Covetousness, and all that relates to it.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

XIX.

XX.

XXI.

CHAP. XVIII. Advice upon Vanity and true Glory.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

XIX.

XX.

XXI.

XXII.

XXIII.

XXIV.

XXV.

XXVI.

XXVII.

XXVIII.

CHAP. XIX. Advice upon Raillery.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

XIX.

CHAP. XX. Of Charity and Alms which ought to be perform'd to the Poor.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

CHAP. XXI. Advice upon Sincerity in Words, and the Way to know when we should speak, and when we should be silent.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

XIX.

XX.

XXI.

XXII.

XXIII.

XXIV.

XXV.

XXVI.

XXVII.

XXVIII.

XXIX.

XXX.

XXXI.

CHAP. XXII. Ʋpon Evil Speaking or Slandering.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

CHAP. XXIII. Advice about Expences, and the good management of them.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

CHAP. XXIV. Advice upon the thoughts of Death.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

XIX.

XX.

XXI.

XXII.

XXIII.

XXIV.

XXV.

XXVI.

CHAP. XXV. Ʋpon the same Subject.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

XIX.

XX.

XXI.

XXII.

CHAP. XXVI. Advice upon the thoughts of Death.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

CHAP. XXVII. Advice upon Friends, and the concerns of Friendship.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

XIX.

XX.

XXI.

XXII.

XXIII.

XXIV.

XXV.

XXVI.

XXVII.

BOOKS Printed for, and Sold by Tho. Leigh, at the Peacock over against Fetter-Lane in Fleet street.

Newly Published.

§

§

[Page]

[Page]

ADVICE TO YOUNG GENTLEMEN, In their Several Conditions of Life. By way of ADDRESS From a Father to his Children.

By the Abbot GOƲSSAƲLT, Counsellor in Parliament. With his Sentiments and Maxims upon what passes in Civil Society.

Printed at PARIS 1697, and Translated into English.

LONDON, Printed for Tho. Leigh, at the Peacock against St. Dunstans Church in Fleet-street, 1698.

THE PREFACE.

[Page]

[Page]

THE Advice that is given here, is of two sorts; one is general, and regards all sorts of Persons of whatsoever Profession they are, without medling with their particular Employments and Actions; the other is particular, and considers what ordinarily occurs in the Affairs of the World.

It is cettain, both the one and the other will not be unprofitable; and the Methods of insinuating it into the Minds of the Reader, will not be disagreeable.

[Page] It is a Father that gives Advice to his Children to make them worthy of the Name and Family from which they come; and it is for that Reason that all the Counsels design to inspire them with Sentiments of Honour and Probity.

It is a Father that throughly understands the World, and desires that his Children should be truly Upright and Religious, and not remarkable for an affected and seeming Devotion; and who desires at the same time, that their Religion should not hinder them from having all the Qualities requisite to make them esteemed and beloved of all they converse with.

It is a Father that joining the Light of Religion with that which a long and consummated Experience in the Affairs of the World hath given [Page] him, makes use both of the one and the other, to make his Children to be distinguished by their Christian and their Moral Virtues.

All that he speaks to them, is to subdue the Irregularities of their Minds and Manners, and to teach them to lead their Lives contentedly, in all the Troubles that their Employments and Business may give them. His manner of speaking concisely and in few Words, he thinks to be the best means to make an Impression upon their Minds, and the Truth is laid naked, and embraced for its own sake; in effect it is made more familiar, being coucht in few Words, and makes a more lively and natural impression upon the Mind.

I know that the Book which Monsieur Hoquette hath writ upon the same Subject, has been receiv'd [Page] with a general Applause; and that all Men of Wit, Learning, and Probity, have had it in great esteem; heretofore I have read it with Pleasure, and found it so well and considerately writ; that I must affirm, that I have seen nothing of that kind for its solidity and composure comparable to it; I have yet an admirable and advantagious Idea of it in my Mind: But it is so long since that Book has been writ, that it is now scarce to be found, and I thought that a little Novelty would not be displeasing. I add, that there cannot be too much written upon this Subject, because it is so generally profitable; and if I have had the same end that Monsieur Hoquett had, I have certainly made use of different means to come to that end.

I have but an imperfect, though [Page] a noble Idea of his Book so that I cannot make any advantage of what he has writ, and much less can I make use of what he has thought.

Monsieur le Count de Bussy Raboutin, to name him is sufficient to praise him; he is so well known by his Merit, that all the Learned, without contest, place him in the number of those that have made themselves the most admired and distinguished by their Writings.

Monsieur Raboutin, I say, has writ a Discourse to his Children, which has been receiv'd; it is enough to say, like his other Works. But how Elegant and Excellent soever his Book may be, I hope I may be permitted to say, that he hath not said all that may be said of the Subject, but something new of my own Thoughts may be added. Moreover [Page] the Method I have used in treating of this matter is so different from his, that I could not chuse but publish my Thoughts upon this Subject. My little Work was scarce begun, but his appear'd in the World, but that did not make me change my Design, but I follow'd my own way, and at length have arriv'd at the end I intended.

THE CONTENTS.

[Page]

Chap. I.

General Counsel upon all the Occurrences of Life. Page 1

Chap. ii, iii.

Ʋpon the same Subject. 6. 11

Chap. iv.

Advice concerning what kind of Life ought to be chosen; and after what manner a Man should live in his Profession. 15

Chap. v.

Advice how one ought to live in the World. 19

Chap. vi.

Advice upon what concerns Religion. 23

Chap. vii.

Counsel in respect of the Company you are to keep. 27

Chap. viii.

Ʋpon the same Subject. 33

Chap. ix.

Advice concerning, Reports. 37

Chap. x.

Counsels upon Conscience. 42

Chap. xi.

Ʋpon the same Subject. 48

Chap. xii.

Advice upon all that has the Air of Courage, Choler, and promptness to 1 quarrel. 52

Chap. xiii.

Advice concerning the Judgment you ought to make of the Words and Actions of others. 57

Chap. xiv.

Advice concerning what Thoughts we should have of Greatness and Riches; of our Losses, and the Misfortunes of our Lives. 61

Chap. xv, xvi.

Advice upon true and false Devotion. 68

Chap. xvii.

Advice against Covetousness, and all that relates to it. 80

Chap. xviii.

Advice upon Vanity and true Glory. 85

Chap. xix.

Advice upon Raillery. 93

Chap. xx.

Of Charity and Alms which ought to be performed to the Poor. 98

Chap. xxi.

Advice upon Sincerity in Words, and the Way to know when we should speak, and when we should be silent. 103

Chap. xxii.

Ʋpon Evil Speaking or Slandering. 110

Chap. xxiii.

Advice about Expences, and the good management of them. 115

Chap. xxiv, xxv, xxvi.

Advice upon the thoughts of Death. 118

Chap. xxvii.

Advice upon Friends, and the concerns of Friendship.

ADVICE TO Young Gentlemen, In the several Conditions of Life.
By way of Address from a Father to his Children, &c.

[Page]

CHAP. I.
General Counsel upon all the Occurrences of Life.

I.

MY dear Children, if you will be Happy, and be esteemed in the World; fear God, be faithful to your Prince, and live like Men of Honour and Integrity.

II.

If any one comes a Mile to do you a Kindness, go two to do him the like, or greater, in acknowledgment of it.

[Page]

III.

If you want a Fortune, endeavour to merit one, and force blind Fortune to open her Eyes, by your constant and industrious Well-doing.

IV.

Do not reprove publickyy, those whom you think you have Right to correct, lest you be thought to hate them rather than their Weakness and Faults.

V.

You cannot be too circumspect in your Words; for oftentimes one word spoke unawares, or in raillery, or even wittily, costs him dear that thought to get Honour by it.

VI.

Make as many Friends as you can, for you will find but few true ones. You will find your best Friends in your self, if you perform your Duty to God, and to those you are to live with.

VII.

Do not fix your Affections upon the World, but proportionably to the time you are to live in it: He that intends to Travel, does not stop at the first fine City he comes at, knowing he must go further before he comes to the end of his Journey.

VIII.

And in what condition soever you are in; make your self known more by your Actions than your Words: The Honesty and Integrity of a Man, supports his Quality better than all that can be spoken to his Advantage.

IX.

If you be in any considerable Employment, entertain none in your Service, but Men of Experience, and such as are capable to do service [Page] to their Prince, and Country: Promise nothing that you do not perform; and take Counsel of none but such as are disinterested, and of good Judgment.

X.

Avoid Idleness, as the most dangerous Evil. When the Mind is not employ'd, it becomes corrupt; but when employ'd, it becomes Spirit. A Man in Business remembers what he is, but when he is Idle he forgets himself, and abandons himself to Pleasure like a Beast.

XI.

Make known the bottom of your Heart by your Words; but your Birth and Quality by your actions.

XII.

If you have Friends visit them often, but do not press to stay with them; that would expose you to the danger of losing them.

XIII.

Labour every one in the Profession you are in, to deserve well. Merit is esteemed of all the World, and is of so great price, that it cannot be bought with Money.

XIV.

Hold it for certain, that there is no Trade so bad as to have none at all; and there is no life so tedious, as that which is passed in Pleasures and continual Visits: To be always tyed to Company, and never alone, is in appearance to be at liberty, but in effect and really a Slave.

XV.

If you be the Chief in the Company of Men of the Sword, or of the Gown, remember that a Chief that well becomes his place, is an Example to the rest, and ought to more than he speaks.

[Page]

XVI.

If the Profession you have chosen, do not carry you to the study of Learning, at least love Men of Letters; and if you be not learned your self, esteem those that are.

XVII.

Have the same respect for all Men, that you desire they should have for you.

XVIII.

Be easie of access, and pleasant and agreeable in your Conversation, and so every Man will delight in your Company.

XIX.

If you be upright and true to your Word, you will gain Credit with all the World, and your Word will give you more facility in your Affairs, than all the Writings of Notaries.

XX.

If any of your Family be discontented, conceal it by your silence at home; but if it come to the Knowledge of others, hide it abroad by your good and gay Humour; that will be the means to make it believed, that the Report of the discontent is false, or at least that it is such, that it is not worth your taking notice of it.

XXI.

You will have no greater Enemies than your self, if you abandon your self to your Passions.

XXII.

Receive your Kindred and Friends with a chearful and obliging Countenance; to receive them otherwise, is not to enjoy them.

XXIII.

Put not an entire Confidence in any but those that have made themselves known by their [Page] Merit, Wit, and Integrity; look upon them alone as fixt Stars, capable to enlighten you in the darkness that the Affairs of the World has brought upon the different accidents of your Life; look upon all others as wandring Stars, that have some Light which they lose in a moment.

XXIV.

Modesty in your Apparel, Furniture, Equipage, and your Words, will make it known that you have a Mind well govern'd, and a Heart without Passion.

XXV.

The ill Conduct of a Man, consists more in what appears, than in what is concealed; and make use of this Advice: Trust not to a false out-side, sooner or later it will betray you, and make you known for what you truly are

XXVI.

Riches make many unhappy; as well those who have them not when they desire them, as those that are afraid to lose them when they are in their Possession. It is in your power to avoid both the one and the other.

XXVII.

It is not your Birth, your Riches, or great Employments, that can make you happy and considerable in the World; but the use of them will do it.

XXVIII.

You may gain your Enemies by obliging and doing them service; but by flattering your Passions, they become your Masters.

XXIX.

There are two gates of Life, one by which you enter, the other by which you go out; the farther you go from the one, the nearer [Page] you approach to the other. Think of it often, and make reflection.

XXX.

Live always as if you were Old, that you may never repent that you have been young.

CHAP. II.
Ʋpon the same Subject.

I.

MY Dear Children, Luxury and Play are the two Fountains of Misery. After you have a little Knowledge in the World, you will know this better than I can tell you.

II.

Learn that it is gain to know how to lose sometimes; and upon some occasions that may happen, if you recede from your Interests, you will act like Wise Men.

III.

Never speak to any of the bad Condition his Affairs are in, except you have power, and an intention to help him; it is imprudent to do otherwise, and to grieve him, when he has given you no occasion for it.

IV.

To be angry without a cause, is a Mark of want of Wit, and that he that is so, knows not how to live; therefore have a care you mistake not a point of Honour with your Friends, upon any occasion: That is to break with them absurdly, and to give a Lie to all the Friendship you have professed to have had for them for many years.

[Page]

V.

When you are in Company, do not report a hundred Follies that you have heard or read; that would be a sign that your Judgments did not keep equal pace with your Memory.

VI.

Disgraces of themselves are no great matter, when one knows how to suffer them; they become troublesome when they make you discontented.

VII.

To be content, it suffices to have necessaries; Superfluities are unprofitable, and oftentimes do more harm than good. This, perhaps, may not please you, but let it not trouble you; for I do understand Necessaries in such a manner, as you need not be afraid of; that is, I speak of necessaries conformable to the condition and rank you hold in the World; all that you have beyond that, may inspire you with Thoughts that I do not wish you should have.

VIII.

The World is not dangerous, but when it is loved too much; when what passes in it is seen by a false Light, it is a continual Lesson to flie Vice and embrace Virtue.

IX.

Buy not the Favours and Benefits of Princes by any baseness, unworthy your Birth and Education.

X.

The Character of great Men is to be civil to all the World; they oftentimes make themselves familiar in a surprizing manner: The more you are pleased with this Character, the better you will give an Idea of what you are.

[Page]

XI.

Too great a gentleness comes near to stupidity and insensibility. Too great Severity approaches to Cruelty; you must use both the one and the other, as there shall be occasion. Prudence will shew you the middle, that you run into neither of the Extreams.

XII.

If you do not take care to make your self valued, you will never have the Respect paid that is due to you.

XIII.

To have Heat and Vivacity without Judgment, resembles a Horse that has a hard mouth, and runs away with his Rider, and exposes him to all manner of danger. Restrain this Heat if you have it, and endeavour rather to pass for one that's grave before your time, than for a young Fool that speaks any thing that comes in his Head, without seeing the Consequence.

XIV.

If you be possessed with any violent Passion, Preaching to you will do you no more good, than Victuals do a Sick man that cannot digest them.

XV.

You may be remarkable for your Air and good Mien; for being handsome and well-shap'd; if your comportment and Manners do not agree with your out-side, you may be compar'd to bad Pictures, put into rich Frames.

XVI.

It is not enough that you are Brave upon occasion, but with it you must have Conduct. One good Head is more serviceable to the State, than a hundred well Armed Hands; and one [Page] Experienc'd Captain more than a Thousand fearless Souldiers.

XVII.

If by your Care and Industry you have heaped up much Riches, and make no honourable use of them; they will say you are of those Lamps that are extinguish'd by too much Oil.

XVIII.

Learn to gild the bitter Pills of losses and disgraces; that is, learn to suffer Afflictions with patience.

XIX.

Do nothing that can disparage you; a bad Reputation follows at the heels of bad actions; it is a smoak that shews there is a Fire.

XX.

If you have done a good action, which is known, it cannot want recompence; the day will come that you will be treated as Mordechai, and the glory of the Prince will oblige him to think of you.

XXI.

You must pardon a thousand small Faults in your Friends and Kindred, if you will live well with them. Nay, I must say, you must pardon them, if you will live at peace with your self.

XXII.

An Emperour repented the day he had not given some marks of his Bounty and Liberality. You cannot master the World, without having the same Thoughts, that all the days are lost, wherein you have not perform'd some good action.

XXIII.

Do not expect to receive marks of Honour and Confidence from your Friends; but in so much as you give to them the like.

[Page]

XXIV.

As long as you can live upon your own: and what your Employment may honestly acquire, do not go into the Service of any Prince. It is a strange subjection, to have dependence. Princes are like the Fire, it is not good to come too near them.

XXV.

Make often Reflection upon the Rose that makes so fair a shew, and spreads its Odour at such a distance, yet it is environ'd with Thorns; this will teach you there is no good in this World; no greatness, no Pleasure without pain.

XXVI.

The less rest you allow your self in establishing your Family, the more will they enjoy it; the present Pains you take will procure your Ease for the time to come.

XXVII.

When your Equipage, your Sports, and your Table diminishes, you will easily find that your Friends do likewise so.

XXVIII.

There is no Employment that you may not pretend to, but there is none that you can succeed well in, if you do not make profession of Honour and Honesty.

XXIX.

Make good choice of those you intend to do good to, for most People in the World ordinarily make greater Esteem of the Presents and Benefits they receive, than of their Benefactors.

XXX.

Do not look upon the pleasure of one Day (as pleasure) when it is follow'd with the Repentance of many Years.

[Page]

XXXI.

If you have no Merit but from your Name and Family, and not from your own actions; then you are oblig'd to your Ancestors, but they not to you.

CHAP. IIII.
Ʋpon the same Subject.

I.

MY Dear Children, what you give, give freely, that you may doubly oblige; and refuse with such kindness and civility, that they may have reason to thank you.

II.

Keep your Promises with all the World. But do not promise for others, but with Discretion, and as your Prudence, and the Justice of those you have to deal with shall engage you.

III.

You ought not to have a Passion for any thing, but to have none at all; you ought to have no greater pleasure, than that of renouncing and despising all Pleasures.

IV.

Always tell truth; for where it is not loved, it is respected and feared.

V.

It is enough to be reconciled to your Friend, once or twice; but if it come to a third time, you had better break Friendship.

VI.

Do all things with Discretion, Prudence, and Integrity; and all things will succeed well with [Page] you; and without designing it you will draw that which the World calls Fortune and Destiny, on your side; that is, your merit will plead so well in your favour, that at length they will do you justice, and acknowledge your worth.

VII.

Troubles, Losses, and Afflictions, have been in all times, and all places; remember there are none exempt from them.

VIII.

Have a care of your Business your self, if you desire it should succeed well.

IX.

The greater happiness you have in this World, the more danger you are in to lose it.

X.

Your Tongue and your Heart ought not to be divided; all that is within you ought to agree. Take heed that your Words and Actions do hold perfect correspondence; and let what you say be maintain'd by what you do.

XI.

If you have not a Fortune, what matters it? one may live without it; it is oftentimes better to deserve one, than to have one.

XII.

The greater Figure you make in the World, the more will your Faults be taken notice of; a Man of Quality cannot make great ones without losing himself. The higher his Rank is, the less will be forgotten his Errours, and what he was capable of.

XIII.

You were born Master of your Eyes and your Tongue, let not the Corruption of your Manners make them your Masters.

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XIV.

If you have any good Qualities, do not praise them your self, for your own word will not be taken.

XV.

Do nothing for your Friends against your Conscience and your Honour; for you ought to love your selves better than your Friends.

XVI.

You ought to fear the least beginning of an ill habit; for disorder is like a Snow-ball, it continually grows bigger.

XVII.

If you will have no difference with your Friends and Kindred, do not sell them Horses, or Goods; and buy nothing of them.

XVIII.

The love you may have for Wine, and Play, at first may seem to you a Pismire, that you may easily crush; but in time, this Love will seem an Elephant that you dare not combat. What do I say? you will flatter your self so in this Passion, and you will disguise the Affections you bear to it, so well, that you will think it is vain to endeavour to overcome it.

XIX.

If you desire a perfect quiet of Mind and Content, seek it where it is to be found, for the World only knows the Name of it.

XX.

True Glory proceeds from Knowledge, a good life and Virtue; this is the only thing I desire you should have, and the only thing that merits your serious Thoughts, to find the Means to acquire it.

XXI.

The difference betwixt an Honest Man that [Page] lives at his Ease, and an Honest Man that has much ado to subsist, is, that one gives freely of what he hath, and the other hath no anxious Desires for what he hath not.

XXII.

When a Man is not spoken of at all, it is a sign that he has neither Merit nor Virtue; that they are not distinguished by their good Qualities, they are neither envy'd nor subject to the jealousie of any. If you be, let it not trouble you, it is a good Sign.

XXIII.

You will live at ease with the Goods you possess, if you desire no more; this is like a Brook whose Waters are pure, and runs smoothly; it will change its nature, if by violence you encrease its Waters, and make a Torrent.

XXIV.

Do not begin to speak before you know what to say, and why you speak; Words are like Arrows, that ought not to be shot without aiming at a Mark.

XXV.

If you are Covetous, Vain, or Cholerick, you will make your House a frightful Solitude; and for that little time that you live in Disorder, all reasonable Men will avoid your Company; and you will be visited by none but Libertines.

XXVI.

Think often what you have been, and what you shall be; two or three serious Reflections of this nature, will be more to your advantage, than a Thousand made upon other matters.

XXVII.

Not to be content with what you are, nor with what you have been; is an Insolence [Page] that complains of God and his Providence. I believe you are not capable of such a Crime. Praise God only that you are in a Condition to live without dependence, and acknowledge your own Happiness.

XXVIII.

Riches are given you, that you may pass your life easily; but Life is not given you that you should heap up Riches.

XXIX.

Take care that Honesty always accompany your Pleasures, so you will relish them the better, and never be afraid of their Consequences.

XXX.

Recover in your riper Years, what you have lost in your Youth; and if you have gone astray through the whole course of your Life, take a good Guide towards the end of your days.

CHAP. IV.
Advice concerning what kind of Life ought to be chosen; and after what manner a Man should live in his Profession.

I.

MY dear Children, consult with Men of Honour and Probity, before you resolve upon the establishment of your kind of Life. Consult your own Inclinations upon the nature of your good, and satisfaction of your Mind. But that which I recommend to you chiefly, is to be perswaded, that a quiet life passed in [Page] tranquility, is preferable to that which is passed in the troubles of Business, and the perplexities of the World.

II.

When you are throug perswaded of this Truth, it will be no difficulty to determine to lead a quiet and pleasant Life; it is not necessary to give your selves over to pleasure; but likewise you must not refuse it, either to take too much or none at all; this is not to understand nor love your self enough. Hunting, Feasting, and Play are not Pleasure, where they trouble your quiet and tranquility of Life.

III.

The pleasures of good Company ought to be enjoy'd, so that they do not hinder those that you may sometimes take in Reading and Retirement. You will make them perfectly agree together, when each of them have their turn, and you chuse them with prudence and moderation.

IV.

Every one of you ought to consider himself as a little Republick which he ought to Govern with gentleness. Great and brave Resolutions are oftentimes suddenly taken, and as suddenly vanish. You must not cloath your self with too heavy a Garment; the weight of it will cause you to quit it. You must not cure a small Sore with great Incisions. To avoid the passing of a small Brook, you must not leap into a great River, and run the hazard of drowning.

V.

A Life that is forc'd and driven on by Avarice or Ambition, is not natural, and by [Page] consequence cannot be pleasing. I dare say that every Man, that the desire of raising himself, or becoming very rich, does push on, shall never be content; he is not himself, nor his own Man, but his Passions. He does not enjoy himself; but his Passion possesses him; he is always with the Money he has had, or desire to have, or with the Employment he pursues, and is never with himself.

VI.

A Man is Happy that is not oblig'd to Princes or great Men for what he has. When our Parents and Kindred have receiv'd Benefits from them, we owe an Acknowledgment to them whether we will or no; and without our knowledge, we become obliged to their Persons; on these occasions we are not our own Masters. And though we owe to God a Life that he has given us; yet it seems that we likewise owe it to them, and that they have a kind of right to it, and to all that we have.

VII.

Life is a Circle and Vicissitude of Good and Evil, to which we must accommodate and accustom our selves. You may grieve and be troubled, but things will have their course; your impatience and vexing will not change them.

VIII.

That which you suffer, thousands more have suffered, and will suffer as you; the complaints of some will not authorize, or justifie that of others. But their patience, and calmly bearing them, may serve for a Lesson to you, to use the same moderation on like occasions.

IX.

Do not imitate those, who in the Consolation [Page] they give to their Friends, are more couragious than Seneca ever was; yet upon the least loss that befals themselves, they lose all patience and Virtue.

X.

The happiness of your Life does not consist in raising your self higher than you are, but in leading a life in tranquility and ease, conformable to what you are.

XI.

Judge not of the happiness of a Man by one part of it; he is a Man of Birth and Wit; he has great Employments; he is welcome to great Men. Yes, but has he all that he desires? Uses he what he has as he ought? Health and Probity do they go along with his Honour and Riches?

XII.

You shall always lead a sweet and easie life; if (of what Profession soever you are of) you make your self esteem'd and belov'd by all that know you.

XIII.

In my Opinion, those that are most considerable for their Places and Employs, are not always the most happy; and those who are always at Court, where the Duty of their Places detain them, so that they have scarce a Moment to themselves, in my Opinion, cannot live contentedly. We ought to live for our selves, and not for others.

XIV.

A Life of middle and not high Degree, does not hinder a Man from entring into, and considering himself. He does not easily lose the sight of what our Infirmities, and the Principles of our Religion continually sets before our Eyes.

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XV.

When a Man travels, he does not usually load himself with heavy Burthens; they trouble him, and hinder him in his Journey. Honours and Greatness ought to be esteem'd by you, of the nature of these heavy Burthens. He can have no other Idea of them, that is of a sound judgment; and where Experience has undeceiv'd him in these Vanities.

XVI.

Do that by Virtue, which the Philosophers have done by Reason; set no value upon the greatness of this World, and reckon it below you; you are born for a more solid good; do not therefore terminate your Desires to possess that only which is common to Libertines and Infidels.

CHAP. V.
Advice how one ought to live in the World.

I.

MY dearest Children, if God hath not called you to a Monastick life, after you have perform'd your Duty in respect to him, it is good that you think of governing your Conduct about those things that the World will expect from you; that you may live easily with those that live in the World as you do.

II.

One of the best Counsels, and the most constant Maxims, that I can give you upon this matter, is, that you never disoblige any one; [Page] never speak ill of any person, but to bear with the Faults of others; to esteem and praise those that deserve it, and pay a civil respect to all those you Converse with.

III.

Never put on a proud and scornful Countenance; I mean such looks as will make you be taken notice of for a vain young Man; do not endeavour to be taken notice of by the number of your Footmen, and splendour of your Equipage; but to be distinguished by the Merit of your Wit and Courage.

IV.

Do not love to hear your self talk, and never put a value upon what you speak your self. To interrupt others when they are speaking, is ill manners; and to speak continually is indiscretion; but to give opportunity to others to speak, and to speak himself in his turn, is to do like those that understand to Converse in the World. If you be faithful and constant to this Maxim, you will make your self acceptable in Company, and be well receiv'd by all.

V.

It is better to extol the Thoughts of your Friend than your own, by this means you will make it known, that you are capable of good things, and that they please you; and that you give them the esteem they merit; and that you are not an impertinent Lover of your own Opinion, and that you are not affected and conceited with all that you say your self.

VI.

Remember often your Name and Family, what you are, and those from whence you come, and there needs no more to Govern your Words and Actions.

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VII.

The Lessons you may learn from this Subject are easie and natural: You need but make good use of your Birth and Education. Call to your remembrance Men of Quality, of Honour and of Probity: You will know enough by taking pleasure in frequenting their Company.

VIII.

Accommodate your self as much as you can, to the Humour, the Wit, and the Desires of your Friends, and Kindred, and of all those with whom you have business, that will be the way to live well, both with the one and the other; that will be the means that every one will desire your Acquaintance and Friendship, and all the World will be well pleased with you.

IX.

It oftentimes happens that a good Behaviour and genteel Conversation does not take a Man so soon as a certain Air, and a sort of a civil and obliging Humour, which a Man is taken with at first Sight, and finds a love for him as soon as he appears. There are those that are handsomer than he, and indeed deserve better than he, yet are not so well receiv'd; and a Man does not feel the same joy when they appear, as they do with the other less deserving; but if you have Merit, you shall be esteemed; but you shall be beloved at the moment when you address with a smiling and pleasant obliging Air; so that a Man never meets you but with Joy, nor parts from you but with Trouble.

X.

Do not value your self upon your Rights, [Page] Youth, and good Qualities; if you have not the Gift of pleasing, you shall not be beloved: In short, if you cannot be complaisant to others, others will not be complaisant to you.

XI.

Be always reserved and respectful to Ladies, and always prudent and discreet with those of your own Age, Quality, and Profession.

XII.

Do not affront nor anger any Person whatsoever; be complaisant always, and in all Company, that you may always be thought a Man ready to espouse the Interest of your Friends: Never maintain your own Opinions with heat, but always give a deference to the Opinions of others; and above all things, avoid contradiction.

XIII.

Receive kindly all those whom your Employment, Business, or Civility, obliges you to see. Upon all occasions mannage their Humours and Inclinations, and approve, or at least excuse their Conduct; and your own Will always be applauded.

XIV.

Never put any one to Charges; be civil without constraint, and without Ceremony; never lose the respect due to your Friends, and those that come to visit you; for that would trouble them.

XV.

Live with a certain Liberty that is respectful, but not too familiar; with a certain liberty, I say, that the best bred Men have brought into Custom and Fashion, and which is approved by all.

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CHAP. VI.
Advice upon what concerns Religion.

I.

MY dear Children, you cannot be too Zealous in the concerns of Religion; not in order to obtain your Desires, or to serve your Designs or Interest: You ought not to consider your Employments or your Birth, but act according to your Religion, and to depend upon it.

II.

The Libertines themselves do not renounce Religion; but they do not live according to its Laws and Maxims. Men know what they ought to believe, and likewise what they ought to do; and oftentimes they stop there: But do not you content your self to believe, and defer, 'till your riper years, that which you are at all times oblig'd to practice.

III.

Faith ought to be the principle of all your actions; which if bad, they obscure and stifle it; hold it for certain, that disorder in your Life will lead you further than you think; it is a Fire that you cannot extinguish when you would; it is a Torrent that you cannot stop when you desire it; at first you think it will go no further than the Corruption of your Manners, and do not foresee that this Corruption will infallibly go further, and communicate it self to your Faith. I desire that Experience may not make you know that Faith cannot long remain sound with such corruption of Manners.

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IV.

Adhear to your Religion, and not to the Persons that make profession of it; and adhear to your Faith, but not to them that taught you it: It is hard to separate Zeal from Interest; and it is often so well disguised, that one is taken for the other, and the most able Men are mistaken in it.

V.

Although all the Christian Virtues make and entertain a Holy Commerce betwixt God and our selves; yet there is a certain particular Virtue, whose proper effect is to unite the Reasonable Creature to his Creator; and to submit, and by authentick Marks, pay him Respect and Adoration; and this Virtue is Religion.

VI.

Never pretend that you can be an honest Man without Religion, for Religion is the Chief of all Virtues; and you cannot doubt it, whether you consider it in relation to its Object, or in relation to its Offices, or its end: You may be assured that it includes all the Virtues by way of Excellency.

VII.

The Christian Religion is admirable in its Maxims, and the fundamental Truths that it establishes are all Divine. In other Religions they ascribe some things to Reason, much to the Passions, and almost all to Nature; but in ours we combat the Passions; we destroy Nature, and submit our Reason.

VIII.

You cannot too much avoid the Company of the great Wits, that make Profession that they believe nothing; look upon them as possessed [Page] with a Frenzy, and to whom a burning Fever gives great strength of Wit; and believe it, that the more they labour to make it appear, the more they are in danger of losing it: The strength of Wit they shew in this matter, ought to pass, not only for great Weakness, but extream madness.

IX.

To speak sincerely, I must say that there are few Persons of Quality, that know well what their Religion is, and in what it consists. They are Educated by their Parents, who make Profession of the Christian Religion; but for the most part, they study more to live according to the Maxims of the World, and the false Principles of a Worldly Nobility, than according to the Laws and Precepts of Religion. You know, my dear Children, that my first and chief Care has been to Educate and make you Christians; and I have always taught you, that that was the principal and most important Duty. I cannot too often speak and repeat it to you, and you cannot too often remember it, nor labour too much to profit by it.

X.

The more you practice good Works, the more your Faith encreases; and on the Contrary; when you cease to practice, the fear of God grows less and less; and when you cease to fear, you cease to believe. Tremble at what I say, and do not flatter your selves in other Thoughts; he does not believe, that does not live according to his Belief.

XI.

As there is but one God, so likewise there is but one true Religion, that is the Christian [Page] Religion; the same is yours; be firm in it, and let nothing move you from it.

XII.

Some make a deceitful Idea of Religion, and look upon it as an Enemy to the Pleasures of Life; but that imagination is false, for Religion establishes no Maxims but what are convenient for all Honest Men; and these Maxims are Established for no other end, but to render the Society of Mankind more pleasant and agreeable.

XIII.

Experience teaches us, the more Religious a Man is, the more he is esteemed and loved in the World: The Reason is this, that the more Religious a Man is, the more charitable he is to the Poor; just to his Equals, and respectful to his Superiours. And, in a word, the more Religious a Man is, the more obliging he is to his Parents and Friends, and does justice to all the World; it is the means by which a Man of that Character (that is) a Religious Man, and that lives according to its Rules, has the Esteem and Love of all Men.

XIV.

You can never too much apply your self to learn Religion; that is, to learn what it teaches; what it obliges you to; what it forbids, and what it commands.

XV.

The Science of Religion is a Knowledge that few study, yet every one thinks they know it; they go to Church, they pray to God, and they give Alms. This is that they usually call Religion; and he that does this, is called Religious; but if he live in any habitual [Page] Sin, if he be given to Drunkenness, and passes the greatest part of his Life in Gaming, and the like Pleasures; it is certain, that that Man has but the out-side of Religion, and is ignorant of its Power, its Precepts, and its Maxims. My dear Children, if you have Religion, you will render to every Man what belongs to him, and do to all Men as you desire all Men should do to you.

XVI.

How zealous soever you may appear for Religion; the exterior Proofs you give of it will not be sufficient, unless it be joined with the essential Marks of true Piety.

CHAP. VII.
Counsel in respect of the Company you are to keep.

I.

MY dear Children, you must apply your selves so to your Business, that you must not quite deprive your Kindred and your Friends of your Company; you must sometimes lend your self to the World, but not give your self away to it.

II.

Too much Conversation, and unprofitable Visits, will make your life soft and Effeminate; much Business, and sometimes Company will make it Honourable, Pleasant, and agreeable.

III.

Mens Minds have need of Refreshment, continual Application dulls them; and as you [Page] ought, by labour to prevent the Evils that Idleness would bring upon you, so you must likewise, by some diversion, ease the Pain that continual Employment would give you.

IV.

A little mixture in your life re-establishes or preserves Peace betwixt the Head and the Heart: Company sometimes will make you forget your Troubles, and the present will take away the remembrance of what is past.

V.

The Life is like a Watch which is kept in continual motion, by several Wheels that compose it; one Wheel is not sufficient, it will not make you Master of the Functions of your Office; never to stir from it, that would make you a voluntary Slave to it.

VI.

It is to take too much upon you, to mind nothing but your Business: Our Mind is a fertile ground, capable to bear several sorts of Grain, but you must give it rest: Or to come nearer; our Mind is a Farmer which we must use kindly, and give him time that he may pay his Rent; when you press him too much, you break and ruin him.

VII.

I can see nothing that will be so much to your advantage, as to know your selves well. Ask nothing but what you know your selves capable of; and though you be capable, ask it not too often, lest you be thought to boast of your Talent.

VIII.

Every one has his share of Ability, you will always succeed, if you do not pass the bounds of your own, and do not set them to Work upon other Mens bottoms.

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IX.

Perhaps you may find your self between those that give not enough to the Entertainment of the World, and those that give too much; this happy mean ought to make you content: If you condemn the life of the one, do not envy that of the others; accommodate your Manners and Actions to your Humour, your Genius, and your Temper, and wish no more.

X.

In Armies they use Fifes, Trumpets, and Drums, to excite and animate the Soldiers upon occasion. But the Lacedemonians, on the contrary, were so valiant, and valued their lives so little in Battel, that they us'd Flutes, and the like Instruments to restrain them, that by their soft and agreeable Musick, they might charm their Valour, and as it were, lay it asleep. The like is of Mens Minds, some ought to be provok'd and excited to take pains; others take too much, and their activity ought to be bridled and moderated. There is nothing, in my Opinion, that can make these sort of Men relish some pleasure, so much as the Company and Entertainment they may have with their Kindred and Friends.

XI.

Always to be boasting what a Man is, and how worthy he is, is to affront those he Converses with; his own Merit and Advocate has not always his Pen in his Hand, nor a Soldier his Sword; a Beauteous Woman desires sometimes to go Masked. These are the Lessons that I would teach you, that you do not always love to be employ'd in serious Business, but that you sometimes divert your self with good and agreeable Company.

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XII.

You may hate the World (I allow) when they talk of nothing but of Trifles, Vanities, or business; but you may love it when it refreshes your Mind when weary with Business, and make you pass some moments of your Life with Pleasure and Delight.

XIII.

In my judgment, no Estate or Condition is like that which a Man acquires himself, by an honourable Employment; and no servitude to me seems so great and inconvenient, as that which a Man imposes upon himself, by reason of a great Fortune setled upon him; and if you will make a serious reflection upon it, you will be of my Opinion.

XIV.

It seems to me more desirable to have no business at all, than to have too much; and to be always alone, than never to be so: To make your Life pleasant and easie, you must use variety in passing it, and sometimes seek out Company, when you have been long time without it.

XV.

Do not always do the same thing, that will make your Life tedious and troublesome; you must join Pleasure with Profit, and make your Recreation tread upon the Heels of your Labour; I mean, when you are wearied with much Business; you must go see your Friends, and enjoy the pleasure of their Company and Conversation.

XVI.

Never be troublesome to any Company; but if you chance to come into any that have Business; do not stay to interrupt them; you [Page] ought to know how to enjoy Company, and how to quit it upon occasion.

XVII.

Never accustom your self to the Company of Libertines and Gamesters; there is nothing to be gained there. The loss of your Money and Time is the least thing you have to fear amongst Men of that Character. You ought to avoid them with much care and circumspection.

XVIII.

Do not use to make Visits to such as are always idle, and have never any thing to do; they will repeat one thing a Hundred times over; their Discourse has no end but trifles, and their continual leisure is an emptiness that they would gladly fill, at the Expence of their Friends and Kindred; in a word, you can never have done with them.

XIX.

Avoid, with a great deal of care, Men that are Hot and Quarrelsome; they will affront you for nothing, and urge things beyond reason and measure, and you will bring your self into Troubles with them, which you cannot free your self from but with difficulty.

XX.

When you are in Company that entertains you with respect and civility, you ought to expect no more (that is) you ought not to desire any further kindness, but of such as either Kindred, Friendship, or Business, has more strictly united. The out-side of others ought to be sufficient; they are not obliged always to speak out what they think; if they be civil and respectful, you ought to be content.

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XXI.

You ought not to believe that Men have an [...] esteem and consideration for you, because they say it; it is the maner of speaking of it, that ought to perswade you: Three words when spoken with a pleasant and obliging Countenance, are more than Twenty otherwise deliver'd; there is a manner of speaking things, that makes you judge they come from the Heart, and that the Tongue is but a faithful and obliging interpreter.

XXII.

To make your selves acceptable in Company, do not always speak what you think curious and excellent, but entertain those that are with you, with what they love and pleases them; and do you take pleasure in knowing how to please others?

XXIII.

You are not to avoid the Company of one of your Acquaintance, because he is sometimes humorous and troublesome, being he may have his Intervals; and of what use is your Reason, if you do not make use of it upon some occasions? This Man has Faults that are troublesome, but he has other good qualities, pardon the one for the others sake; and do not avoid his Company; pity his weakness because he is generous, and has a great deal of wit; he has a Soul that is upright and full of Honour; what you suffer by his defects, are not worth taking notice of.

XXIV.

If you be so difficult in making choice of your Acquaintance, others will be the same to you; if you be so exact in requiring so many good Qualities in those you Converse [Page] with, others will require the same from you; and are you sure they will find them? It is better not to be so nice in your Choice, it will make your Life more easie and agreeable.

CHAP. VIII.
Ʋpon the same Subject.

I.

MY dear Children, to see little or no Company, is to deprive your selves of Pleasures that are innocent; but to spend your whole life amongst Women, and in making continual Visits, is to lose your Stomachs by continual eating, and to fill your self with course Victuals, and deprive your self of Delicacies and Dainties.

II.

A Discourse, to be good and profitable, ought to be of things Moral Honest and Christian. But it ought to be in the Company of a few and choice Persons; avoid a Croud.

III

Polite Learning, History, and all that relates to Arts and Sciences, are good Subjects of Conversation, especially where it is practis'd with good order and decency, and not in a critical and pedantick Fashion.

IV.

Avoid, by all means, such Company as talk of nothing but Trifles and Follies, and all their Conversation is upon the divertisements of the World; and upon the false Reasonings [Page] of the Interest of Princes; Never be of the humour to take pleasure in losing your time in hearing such trifling Discourse.

V.

When you meet in Company where some are too free and prophane, let them know that such Discourse does not please you; and do not join in Conversation of that nature.

VI.

Be not ashamed of the Gospel on this occasion; and you will make them ashamed, who forget themselves, and are not so reserv'd in their words as they ought to be; put on a serious Countenance, and presently they will be silent.

VII.

Be always when you are in Company as you are at home, not changing your Character (that is) be always Honest, Pleasant and Obliging; do not bely it by your Words and Actions. In all places make appear that you are of an equal Humour and Converse, and all Men will desire the Honour of your Acquaintance and Friendship.

VIII.

In all Company where you are, speak of Virtue without Affectation, and desiring to pass for a Devoto; speak of News without earnestness, or too much Curiosity; and of that which passes in Company without Envy, Criticising or Jealousie.

IX.

Give your Advice without applauding it; declare your Opinion in any thing propos'd to you, without deciding it; say what you think, without pretending that others should submit to your Wishes or Reasoning; maintain your [Page] Opinions without Heat, and hear other Mens without Trouble.

X.

If you be of this Mind and Humour, you will be acceptable in all Companies; and you no sooner enter, but every one will be glad; and when you leave them, every one will look sad, and seem to say, the life of the Company is gone, and now we seem all-a-mort.

XI.

If you maintain this your Character, you may make many Visits every Day, and every one will reproach you, and tell you, you are sedentary, and love your Home too much; your Visits will seem so rare and short, that they will obligingly accuse you of forgetting your Friends, or they will believe that you are oppress'd with Business and Affairs.

XII.

It will please you to see, that where-ever you go, you will receive a Hundred Welcomes and Civilities; and you will be wished for wheresoever you do not go.

XIII.

When you are with your Friends, always endeavour to be agreeable, and to please them, and never put on the Air of a Philosopher, or a Devoto.

XIV.

I must confess you cannot have too much reservedness in your Words, nor too much modesty in your Actions. But you must likewise acknowledge, that with your Friends you cannot be too pleasant and complaisant; that pleases them, that gains them; that afterwards one does what he pleaseth.

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XV.

Do not make it your Business to have always much Company with you, that would be to love others too much, and your selves too little; nor to have none at all, for that would be to love your self too much, and to carry your reservedness too far.

XVI.

Be with your Kindred as much as Decency permits you, and give your selves to your Friends as often as complaisance requires it. But always without prejudice to the Care that you ought to take of your Family, and Domestick Affairs.

XVII.

Make the duties of your Conscience agree with the Pleasure of receiving and returning Visits. Visit your Kindred at one time, and your Friends at another, and you will please them both.

XVIII.

Nothing moves so much as Example; what enters by the Ear, makes some Impression, but that which is seen gains the Heart. It is for this Reason, that Example is always efficacious; and it is look'd upon as a living Book, that teaches us incessantly what we should do; this that I say should teach you to keep Company with none but Persons of Honour and Probity; that is the Model that you ought always to set before you, and you cannot do amiss when you follow it.

XIX.

You may easily observe the Rules of your Behaviour, by that of another of good Breeding and Conduct, whom you have much Converse with; his Prudence and constant good [Page] Humour, and good Inclinations, will be of great weight with you, to make you endeavour to imitate him in all things.

XX.

In Example of this well-read, and Man of Honour, will be as an Eccho, which will always tell you what you are, and what you ought to be: This Example will be as a Looking-glass, to represent to you your Defaults and Defects, and will be as a Drum and Trumpet to encourage you to do well.

XXI.

This Example will be as Meat to nourish you, and make you strong to live like a Man of Honour and Probity; finally, this Example will be to you a Law, that will impose upon you the happy necessity of living well.

CHAP. IX.
Advice concerning Reports.

I.

MY dear Children, never Report Stories, for that makes Business and Quarrels amongst Friends and Kindred, and raises suspicions, which have very troublesome consequences; it is seldom that Men of Quality, who know how they ought to live, do it; but Men of Honour and Probity never.

II.

Be you stedfastly perswaded, that Reports do harm to him that makes them; to those they are made to, and those they are made of; are like the stroak of a Cimetar that kills three at once.

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III.

You can never carry Reports, but with design to oblige him to whom you carry them, or to satisfie your self in doing it: Those whom you make them of will never be reconciled to you, and it is at their Expences you make them, and they will seek to revenge it.

IV.

And he whom you think to oblige by teling him, will by your means have a thousand suspicions and jealousies in his Head, which may provoke him to Choler and a precipitate Revenge; this is the Pleasure and Service you do him, when you have the indiscretion to make and carry Tales.

V.

You likewise will not find your own satisfaction as you thought; for you will make Enemies of all those you have reported Stories of: And for the other to whom you carried them, they will make shameful Reflections upon you, who disoblige those which never gave you cause, and perhaps are speaking many things to your Advantage, at the moment you make malicious Reports of them: Men of Honour and Probity are not capable of such Injustice and Baseness.

VI.

You ought not only to avoid the making of Reports, but you ought not to suffer others to make them to you; the Maker of them is always looked upon with an Evil Eye.

VII.

You cannot think to make Reports of any, but they will do the same of you, and will pay you what you have lent them, with Pleasure and Usury; they will not suffer any thing [Page] of what you say or do, to fall to the Ground; they will take great care at all times, and all places, to make you known for what you are.

VIII.

Resolve to make it known upon all occasions, that Reports do not please you; that you forget them as soon as they are told. Shew that you are always perswaded, that what is spoken of the absent, is for the most part to be suspected for false and aggravated.

IX.

When you have made it known, that you are not pleased with such Reports; you will discourage all those that have a Mind to trouble you with them; and the Countenance you receive them with, when you hear them against your will, will condemn both them that bring them, and those that caused them to be brought.

X.

A Wise Man never lends an Ear to such Reports, and by that means he shuts the Mouth of all those that would make them. You will prevent many troublesom Moments, by declaring your self against them, and by that means do good to them that were of the humour to make them, and Cure them of a shameful Quality.

XI.

Never let either your Tongue or your Ears encourage these Reports. I do not know which is most to blame, he that hearkens to them, or he that makes them; but I know that nothing entertains a Man more in that unworthy Practice of making them, than to give ear to them, and to be pleased with the hearing of them.

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XII.

You ought to put a Vail upon the Face of your Friend, to hinder him from seeing any thing that may give him trouble; you ought, for his sake, to impose a perpetual silence upon your self in those things that may vex him. There is no pretext, how specious soever, can authorise you to make reports on such occasions.

XIII.

One of the first Laws, not only of Friendship, but of Civil Society, is to banish forever Reports of all kinds; there are a thousand things which concern Families, that go beyond Friendship, and the ordinary Tyes that a Man has with his Acquaintance; it is to injure this Friendship, and these Ties, to make them take such care and caution in this matter as may trouble their quiet.

XIV.

It would be imprudent in you, to report a thing that you know not, but by the report of a particular Man, who may lie or aggravate the matter; and it would be injustice to make others believe what you do not know, but on this manner; yet it is an injustice that is too often committed, because they are not cautious in that point; and they are prone to commit it upon the false Principle that they are not concerned in it; but he that said it was reported, ought to justifie it.

XV.

The Infidelity of a Friend that has betrayed your Secret, does not give you a right to do the same by him. Your Duty does not depend upon his; his Faults does not authorise yours; he has violated his Faith in a Secret [Page] you trusted him with; it is a fault inexcusable, yet you ought to consider him, not as he is to you at present, but as he has been; the Secret that you owe him is an old debt; it always remains so; you owe it him still, as much as you owe him Money which he lent you long since, when you were all one.

XVI.

A trifling thing told by one of your Friends does not give you cause to break Friendship with him. You must pardon this small indiscretion, and to make your advantage of it, that will teach you to be more cautious hereafter, and not to trust him so easily, especially in things of consequence.

XVII.

It is neither good nor honourable to make Reports; and if it be lawful to think ill of those that speak them, from the time that one should make a Story to me, I should think him capable to commit all sorts of faults, since there are none which he might more easily avoid than this. Yet even one Story that a Man should report to me, would give me an Idea of his Humour, and his bad Inclination, which I should have much ado ever to forget.

XVIII.

Never suffer either at your Table, nor in your Walks, nor in your Pleasures, them who are accustomed to carry Tales; look upon them always as Enemies to Civil Society; as Persons that ought to be expell'd all Company, and to be pointed at; in a Word, as Men without Honour or Honesty.

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CHAP. X.
Counsels upon Conscience.

I.

MY Dear Children, you cannot be too exact and circumspect in all that concerns your Conscience; almost all the World pretends to be nice in this matter, but very often they do not live according to that exactness they pretend. For this nicety is but imaginary; and for the most part they make Conscience after their own fancy.

II.

This Nicety of Conscience, which all pretend to, ought not to pass in your Minds for imaginary; because it is easie to form an Idea of a scrupulous Conscience, when it is not so; and oftentimes they are scrupulous only in some enormous Crimes which they do not commit, or in such Vices as their Inclinations and Humours do not lead them to.

III.

The most part of the World make their Conscience after their own fancy; and make no scruple of Conscience in a thousand things that relate to their Interest, Ambition, or Pleasure; and so they think themselves very conscientious, because they make no Conscience of those things they have a mind to do, but are very scrupulous in those things they will not do.

IV.

If you have no Conscience but after this manner, you will not long enjoy a quiet Conscience; [Page] I do assure you, you will resemble the Sick that abstain from Wine and Fruit, and, eating to excess all other sorts of meat, are in danger of their Lives.

V.

All the World know that we ought to submit our selves to the Laws of God; and it is our Conscience that makes us understand how far this Law extends, and reproaches us if we transgress it.

VI.

Our Conscience is a looking-glass, in which we see our selves what we are; it is in this Looking-glass that you discover your self; there is nothing of good or bad which you have done that can be conceal'd from you; you may flatter your self, but this Looking-glass is always faithful, and will represent you truly as you are within, in your very Soul.

VII.

Our Conscience is a Book in which our Thoughts, our Words, and our Actions are writ; it is a Register that keeps an Account of all things; this Book or Register sometimes opens it self, and it is then when our Mind is troubled; and the Reproaches which our Consciences make, move us to change our lives. But this Book presently shuts again, because we do not make application enough to make an advantage of these good Motions we feel within us; and these Motions do not stay long with us, because they are not faithful and constant.

VIII.

I say further, our Conscience is a Sluce where all the ordure of our Lives discharges it self; and this Sluce is sometimes so full, [Page] that it regorges; but for fear that the ill Scent that comes out of it should be troublesom to us, we presently stop it, and cover it with Flowers; that is, with vain Projects of Conversion, and false Hopes of a true Hatred of our Sins; and for that little time we stop it, we again return to our accustomed course of life; and are harden'd more than ever in our Evil Ways. And I wish you be not of the number of those that make this ill Use of it; and I speak all this to prevent your being so.

IX.

You need but open your Eyes and look up to Heaven, and hear his Voice, and consider the Wonders of the Creator; you need but cast your Eyes upon your Conscience, to hear it cry, that reproaches you continually, with the abuse of your Health and Knowledge that God hath given you, if you do indeed abuse them.

X.

Woe be to you, if you do not hearken to her, or if you make her speak as you desire; since what injustice she counsels you to, or what pleasure she permits you, you will be the greatest losers by it, and will be the greaest sufferers in the punishment of it.

XI.

You cannot follow a better Rule than that which your Conscience gives you; but do not corrupt it, and make it conform it self to your Inclinations, your Humours and Weakness.

XII.

Wherefore do we see some of our Friends in good earnest, and true Converse? and wherefore do we see others that do but seem [Page] so? Is it not because the one makes a serious Reflexion upon what Conscience Dictates, and the other a very slight one; the one hearkens to it attentively, and the other in the middle of the Noise of the World, and their Minds distracted with their Passions.

XIII.

He that will not pay what he owes, will not see nor hear his Creditors, but flies them, and hides himself as soon as they appear; the same thing happens to you in regard of your Conscience; if you will not look upon her, nor hear her when she presents her self to you, you make use of a Hundred false pretences, as a Vail to hide your selves; and steal from her, and lose the sight of her every moment

XIV.

The Conscience of an Honest Man is very different from the Conscience of a Worldly, Covetous, or Voluptuous Man; the first continually examins his Conscience, and no sooner knows its Dictates, but runs to execute them. The other has never the Time, nor Will, to consult it, and much less to perform its commands: Judge your self, and see what you are.

XV.

He that loves to play and see Comedies, makes no Conscience to spend almost all his time in the one, and lose many Hours in the other; on the contrary, he that makes profession to live according to the Rules of Justice and Religion, makes Conscience of making play his daily Business and Employment, and looks upon Comedies as a divertisement unworthy of his Care and Time; he hates gaming, and despises Plays.

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XVI.

Gaming and seeing Plays are two different things, in regard of the one and the others Conscience; and why? because the Conscience of the one is more fearful and cautious than the other; and the one hearkens to his Conscience continually, and the other never; the one prefers the Duty of his Conscience before all the Pleasures of his Life, and the other the contrary.

XVII.

Both the one and the other have the Commands of God and the Church to observe; but the one looks upon them with an Eye different from the other.

XVIII.

Take care that your Conscience be not too scrupulous, and likewise that it be not scrupulous at all; prudence and discretion ought to govern you in this point.

XIX.

We are not all called to the same kind of Life; so the Conscience ought not to be the same to all Men; there are Duties proper to every state, that cannot be dispensed with; and these Duties are different, according to the diversity of Professions, and that also makes a difference in the Conscience.

XX.

All Men ought to have the same tenderness of Conscience in the general Duties of Christians; but it may be greater or lesser on particular occasions.

XXI.

You ought not to have a tenderness of Conscience for one Commandment of God, more than for another; you must have an equal regard [Page] for all; such as take this Advice in some particulars, and violate a Commandment of God in another, are inexcusable.

XXII.

Some Men fast Fridays and Saturdays, but will not be reconciled to their Enemies; others give largely to the Poor, but will not forsake a beloved Sin; others make scruple of all things but such as they have a Passion for.

XXIII.

The tenderness of Conscience in all those Persons, ought to be thought false and imaginary. What do I say? You ought to hold it for certain, that they have no Conscience at all; or if they have any, it is ready to rise against them before the Tribunal of the Supreme Judge of all Men.

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CHAP. XI.
Ʋpon the same Subject.

I.

MY Dear Children, Conscience and Honour ought to govern all your actions; Interest ought not to be look'd upon further than Equity and Right will permit.

II.

Do not throw your self at the Feet of Princes, or the Grandees of the World; that is, give not your selves up so to them, as to be ready to do all things at their Pleasure. You ought to render all that is due to your Conscience and Honour before you give them up to any body else; and you should betray your self if you did not keep that Order that Reason prescribes, and that your own Interest continually sets before your Eyes.

III.

Princes often desire Men devoted to their Will; Men that have not that tenderness of Conscience; in a word, Men that will stick at nothing to serve them. They desire this, I must confess, but if every one would do their Duty, they might seek a long time before they would find such as they desire; and this seeking in vain would make them more just and reasonable.

IV.

Let not Ambition lead you blindfold; you are born free, do not make your self a Slave to another's Will; there are many Slaves loaden with Chains, that would not buy their Liberty at such a price.

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V.

The Kings of Aegypt used to make their Judges promise that they would do nothing against their Conscience for any pretext of Ambition, Interest, or recommendation they could have. You are Kings of your own Wills and Actions; they can have no Power but what you give them, which you ought to allow them with unreproachable Equity and Right. Do nothing against that Principle of Nature that teaches you to give to every one what belongs to him, and never regard any thing that would inspire you with other Thoughts.

VI.

The Laws of War cannot Authorise any ill actions; and what we owe to our Prince and Country, cannot justifie them; all things are not permitted to Subjects in favour of their Soveraign. A Soldier, for being a Soldier, ought not to forget that he is a Christian, on pretence that he is under the Pay of him that commands him; he ought to do nothing against his Religion; the noise of Arms ought not to hinder the hearing the Voice of his Conscience and Honour, which will teach him what he ought to do in all occasions.

VII.

Have a great regard for Princes, and all your Superiors; but let your Conscience always go first, and give it the preference in all things.

VIII.

After you have satisfied your Conscience and your Honour, do all you can for your Kindred and Friends, and you can never do too much.

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IX.

Under pretence of Friendship, never do an ill Action; the Laws of Friendship ought not, cannot carry you so far.

X.

There are two things that ought to be extreamly precious, whatsoever Profession you are of, your Honour and your Conscience: Your Honour ought to be dear to you, because it is a personal good, without which, according to the Opinion of all Men, all the rest are nothing. Your Conscience yet ought to be more dear to you, for when that has nothing to reproach you with, Peace within will be your Consolation, without which you will lead a languishing and miserable Life.

XI.

You ought to abhor any thing that is against your Honour and Conscience, and nothing can oblige you more to detest an Action, than when it robs you of either the one or the other.

XII.

As long as one enjoys perfect Health, one easily pardons ill Customs; the pretence is easie and favourable, there needs nothing to excuse it, but Humane frailty, and the daily and pressing temptations to Sin; you need no other Excuses. These are the ordinary practices of the Men of this World; do not follow such bad Examples, but make good use of the bad management of others.

XIII.

A Man that loves the World and its Pleasures, oftentimes, from the impunity of his Crimes past, draws the pernicious assurance of the same for the time to come; and after [Page] having a long time stifled the remorse of Conscience, procures such a peace of Conscience, as he calls it, that would affright any honest Man; and ought to make you tremble, lest you should fall into the same lethargy of the Mind.

XIV.

Be you perswaded that this disorder resembles the Root of a Thorn, which you may take in your Hand, and press it, and it will do you no harm; and may be it may seem to you to be more smooth than the Roots of other Plants; but as it grows up it arms it self with Prickles, that will prick you in such sort, that sometimes your hurts may prove Mortal: The same effect may proceed from this disorder, which at first seems to do no harm, but afterwards cuts to the quick, and sometimes the Wounds become so great, that it is difficult to Cure them.

XV.

What matters it if you be not happy upon Earth, provided you be so in Heaven? What matters it if whilst you live you die to the World, to Honours, to Pleasures, and to your self, provided that the purity of your Conscience cause your Name to be writ in the Book of Life?

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CHAP. XII.
Advice upon all that has the Air of Courage, Choler, and promptness to quarrel.

I.

MY dear Children, Gentleness and Civility is so much the Character of Men of Quality, that they seem to have fallen below their Birth and Rank which they hold amongst us, when they abandon themselves to the passion of Choler.

II.

Men will suffer, and endeavour to excuse in you your play, your Expence and your Ambition; but they will never pardon your impatience, your Choler, and Quarrelling; there is something in them so unbecoming, that they will pardon no Person in this particular.

III.

If you punish those that do not deserve it, or punish according to the motions of a brutish Choler, men have reason to regard you as one that violates the Laws, under the protection of which Innocence and Youth ought to live in peace and quietness.

IV.

Which, in your Opinion, is the more culpable, A young Man to whom Age has not given the discretion to live exactly as he ought; or his Father, or Governour, or Master, who for that Reason uses him ill; because he hath not yet obtain'd all the Reason and Experience that a Man of riper Years has? Whether of them is more [Page] to blame, a young Man that wants Discretion at Fifteen, or a Father and Governour that has it not at Forty?

V.

Correction, I must confess, is the Wine, of Wisdom; but you ought to give it your Children moderately; the excess of it would take away the relish of it, would disgust and make them drunk.

VI.

All Correction given in anger, takes away the Virtue, and destroys the effects of it; hold it for certain, that Correction is a meat that must be season'd, to make it wholsom and good, otherwise it cannot be digested.

VII.

If you give Correction with Rigour, it is as if you put precious Liquor in a poison'd Vessel. Correction the most just, and the best grounded, loses its effect in your Mouth, if you do it in terms full of animosity, and with a Countenance and Eyes full of Rage and Choler.

VIII.

A Master that always grumbles and rails against his Domesticks, does not well become his place; he carries the Power the Laws have given too far. If justice should be done upon such Masters, who neither have Indulgence nor Mercy for their Domesticks, they would be put into the number of Slaves.

IX.

It is so seldom seen that a Man of Quality and Probity puts himself in Choler; that it will make Men believe, that you have neither the one nor the other, if you fall into that Passion. You ought never to go out of your Character; [Page] and nothing, in the judgment of all Men, will make you leave your Character with more disdain, than senseless Quarrels that the transports of Choler will bring you into.

X.

Sudden and rash Quarrels are Childish or Brutal; such as are not easily excus'd in common Souldiers and Pages; they will never be pardon'd in you, how young soever you be.

XI.

Your Servant commits a Fault in your presence, by neglect, not thinking on it; he does ill, I do not pretend to excuse him, but should that make you commit a greater? On the contrary, you ought to repair, by your prudence, what this careless Servant has done amiss by his folly. Learn therefore to be a Philosopher, and keep your self unmoveable on such occasions, and shew by this evenness of temper, that such accidents cannot produce any change in your Mind.

XII.

Though you may have Birth, Wit, and Riches, you will never be esteemed, if you do not add to these good Qualities, that of an even temper, and a moderation in all your Words and Actions.

XIII.

Do not contradict such as are prompt to quarrel; and do not take pleasure in provoking them, and they will have the same regard for you; let this Stream have its Course which you see runs at your Feet, and do not make it a Torrent by stopping it.

XIV.

You may be sure that Pride is the Father [Page] of all Vices, and Choler is his Daughter; and it may be added, that this Daughter oftentimes gives Arms to her Father, which makes him Cruel, and Revengeful; so that it may be truly said, that the Proud and Ambitious oftentimes, transported by Choler, leave fatal Marks of their Passion.

XV.

A Man Cholerick and quarrelsom, is a declar'd Enemy to Civil Society; or, what is more, he is a Seditious Person, who prophanes all Holy Laws; he knows neither Father nor Mother, nor Wife nor Children; and indeed how should he know them, since he knows not himself.

XVI.

Choler is the only unruly Passion that pretends to justifie it self, how shameful and criminal soever this Passion may be; they that are subject to it, pretend to have reason to be transported on some certain occasions; and Experience teaches us, that of all those that are transported by Choler, there is scarce any one that does not think it just to what extremity soever they are carried: From whence comes that, but that it blinds the Soul by the Darkness which it spreads?

XVII.

Choler is nothing else but a motion sudden and turbulent, that takes from us the free exercise of our Actions; and that is the Reason why we are not only angry at our Servants, but at all those with whom we Converse; and more at every one that would hinder us from doing what we will. When a Pen writes not according to our Fancy, we break it; a Gamester throws his Dice and Cards out of the [Page] Window; a Workman is angry at his Tools, and throws them away.

XVIII.

It is strange to see, that a Man who is observed usually to have Prudence and Discretion in his Affairs, should, upon a sudden, change his Nature and Humour; and that a motion of Anger should disorder in him all that Reason had placed in so good order and quiet.

XIX.

Do not suffer your self so rashly to be transported; lay a foundation of Prudence against all the Accidents of Life that may disturb you; look upon your self continually; as if you were in a frontier Garrison environ'd with Enemies, and ready to be besieg'd, and think of all things necessary for your defence. If you do thus, Anger can never surprize you, and its Arms will be too Weak against a place so well fortified, and provided with Necessaries.

XX.

At the first motions of Anger; let your Voice be low, and your Countenance smiling; by that means you will disarm your Enemy before he appears and attacks you.

XXI.

If it happen that you be transported with Choler, it is to be wish'd that you had a Looking-glass before your Eyes, you would find your self so deform'd and different from what you were, that the sight of this Change would make you more moderate upon such occasions, and you would have such an Idea of this Passion, as would absolutely Cure you.

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XXII.

The Decency and Respect that we owe to one another, should be the Boundaries that none can go beyond, without doing himself wrong, and making an ungrateful Impression of his Humour; as long as you observe this decency and respect, Anger will have no Power over you, and you will be esteemed and loved for the eavenness and moderation of your Words and Actions.

CHAP. XIII.
Advice concerning the Judgment you ought to make of the Words and Actions of others.

I.

MY Dear Children, if you will gain the Esteem and Love of all Men, see what every Man does, and hear what every Man says, without contradicting any one. Let your Eyes and Ears go no further than you please, and hear obligingly all that is spoken to you, and judge of others by your self.

II.

What is blameable in some things, impute it to the Youth of the doer; and what cannot absolutely be excused, impute it to want of Consideration, and to a surprise that merits Pardon. Never make any more faulty than they really are, and perswade others as much as you can, that many things are done by imprudence and want of consideration, and ought not further to be thought upon.

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III.

Do not make a malicious Construction of the Words and Actions of others, nor turn them to the hurt or prejudice of any one; do justice to all you have to do with, and as you would have others do to you; remember every Man has his Failings, which you ought to excuse and suffer, if you will live quietly and peaceably with all the World.

IV.

Always take part with, and defend the Unfortunate; a false appearance Deceives, and Reports full of Injustice or Calumny, expose them to the Censure of a hundred malicious Spirits, that think to establish their own Reputation upon the Ruin of other Mens. And of others that have no other way of magnifying themselves, but by disparaging and villifying their Kindred and Neighbours; and of others who at the expence and loss of their best Friends, would make themselves Criticks, or Devotes, by having something to say against every one.

V.

You know that every one has his own Humour, and his own Wit; and you have no right to pretend to that which is not referred to your Judgment, and much less to give Law to others, that they should live as you desire.

VI.

Be always circumspect in speaking of those that make too great or too little Expence in their way of living; let not either the one or the other Extream trouble you.

VII.

Praise whatever you think praise worthy, but be wary in passing Sentence upon what you think condemnable; do not make your [Page] self a Judge of the actions of others; but if you be press'd and oblig'd to speak your Opinion, let it be in their favour, and to their advantage.

VIII.

Study your own Conduct and not that of others; examin your self without Favour or Partiality, and never pardon your self. Use all Severity to your self, and Indulgence to others. If you find something to say against every one, you will justly be taken for an Illnatur'd, Unjust, and Unreasonable Man.

IX.

That you may not speak ill of any, you ought not to think ill of any; for from the one to the other the way is easie and short; it is almost impossible to forbear speaking of what you believe and think.

X.

You may and ought to pardon a thousand little Faults in Men of Quality, when they are Young and Unexperienc'd; to condemn them in every thing, is to be a Critique without Reason, and to expect an accomplish'd Wisdom in a Person of Eighteen or Twenty Years of age.

XI.

When a young Man or Youth has good Inclinations or Desires of doing well, you ought, in favour to his Age, to pardon some Levities or other small Faults; in doing this you shall encourage him to do well, and in doing otherwise, the contrary.

XII.

Set not your self lightly to condemn Women for their Carriage, when they are neither Gamesters nor Wanton; all things else [Page] do not deserve to be taken notice of. Time will teach them better to consider, than all that you can say to their disadvantage.

XIII.

You can never, with Honour, highly condemn that in Women, that you can so easily excuse in Men. Have a care they do not Reproach you; that it is secret Envy or Pride in your self, that makes you speak after this manner of them. Take care that they do not impute what you say, to an inexcusable, weak, or a shameful Jealousie in your self, which is injurious to all Men that have either Wit, Honour, or Honesty.

XIV.

Women generally are more reserv'd and discreet than Men; and it cannot be denyed, but that ordinarily they are more tender and Charitable than we; wherefore then do you fall so severely upon some of their Faults, when you have so large a Field, and so fair an occasion to praise their Virtue. Believe me, when you are in the Humour to censure ill Manners, spare the devout Sex, and consider your own, you will find enough there to move your Gall, and exercise your Wit.

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CHAP. XIV.
Advice concerning what thoughts we should have of Greatness and Riches; of our Losses, and the Misfortunes of our Lives.

I.

MY Dear Children, you will never be unhappy, if you do not think you are so; for Happiness generally depends more upon the Opinion we have of things, than upon the things themselves.

II.

It happens very often, that one is thought unhappy in the Opinion of Men, when in effect he is not so; if you be no otherwise unhappy than so, you will have no cause to complain; and in my Opinion, you will be more a subject of Envy than Pity.

III.

All our Losses and Disgraces will be lookt upon with another Eye; if we know their Nature, their Causes, and their End; and if we look upon our selves as Men condemn'd to Humiliations and Afflictions, and not as Men aspiring to nothing but Riches, Honours, and Pleasures. Look upon your self, in good earnest, after this manner, and afterwards see if you have any Reason to complain.

IV.

If you will consider things Morally, you must agree, that all things that happen; is by the ordinary course of Life, and our Birth makes us subject to them; and by consquence, [Page] you must submit your self, and accustom your self to them; and if you see some Men exempt from these Misfortunes, stay a little and expect, and you need not expect long, and you will see that they have their share of them as others, and perhaps a greater share than most others.

V.

Your Grief will augment and gather new force, if you be so sensible of it; and on the contrary, you may assure your self, that if you have the Constancy to suffer it patiently, it will diminish.

VI.

If two Persons suffer the same Evil, it will always be said, that he that torments himself, and complains most, suffers most; but he that suffers more than comes from the Evil it self, does so from the manner and mind with which he suffers it.

VII.

To speak well of Pain and its nature, you ought to be perswaded, that if it be long, it is but little; and if it be violent, it does not last long, and it will put an end to the Grief that it causes; upon this Principle it will not be hard to direct your Discourse.

VIII.

Affliction will never have any Power over you, but what you give it your self.

IX.

There is no Pain, how sensible soever it be, that does not lose half its force, by the Courage you have to suffer it; when you resist it, it will fly from you; if you yield, it will triumph; in a word, you disarm it when you do not submit to its Power.

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X.

If you do not accustom your self to suffer, the smallest Pain will seem great; it is enough that it is a Pain that obliges you to suffer with trouble, and oftentimes even with impatience.

XI.

There are some that seem more content in their Sufferings than others in their Pleasures; every one is well or ill, according as he finds himself. The Martyrs had more joy in the midst of their Torments, than the Tyrants that condemn'd them could taste in their good Cheer, their high Fortune and great Riches.

XII.

Sin excepted, there is nothing ill in its own nature; it is but the use that is made of it that makes it so: a streight Oar is crooked in the Water; it is not enough to see things, but the means to see them well, that makes them pass for what they are▪ it is not that which Men believe of you, will make you happy, but that which you your self believe.

XIII.

There is more strength required to bear the Chain that binds us, than to break it. There is more force of Mind to suffer the Miseries of Life, than to kill himself to be deliver'd from them: There is more Courage in following the Example of Regulus, than that of Cato.

XIV.

All the Losses and Disgraces imaginable, are not great enough to justifie you in the weakness of wishing your own death; in these cases you must think of nothing but to compose your Mind and Courage to suffer patiently.

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XV.

If you can be sufficient for your self, and out of your own proper Stock find wherewith to entertain your Happiness, or to fly the Evils that threaten you, all possest and full of what you desire, you your self will be the Object of your Attention, your Thoughts, and your Love, like those Aegyptian Husband-men, who never look'd towards Heaven for Rain, because the over-flowing of the Nile was all their Hopes, and all their Riches. All your Wishes ought to aim at nothing, but that you may peaceably enjoy all your Advantages, and to have possession of your self; but the goodness of God gives you leave, not to be content with your self; he permits that Afflictions and Sickness should make you know, that there is an Eternal Good, of which you ought to think, and not to recken upon those Goods that may be taken from you every Hour, and the enjoyment of which must end with your life.

XVI.

Whatsoever happens to you, you ought not to think your self unhappy; if your Wives be as they ought, and your Children well inclined; believe me, when you have Reason to be pleased with your Domesticks, all the rest ought to seem to you indifferent.

XVII.

If you have no good Fortune, support your Disgraces like a good Christian, with a Constancy such as may make the Philosophers ashamed. It is not the first time that Religion inspir'd with such Thoughts, and Grace has triumph'd over the World and Nature.

XVIII.

God dispences his Gifts as he pleases; one [Page] has Health; another has Wit; another has Birth; which is the most happy? certainly he which makes best use of what he has, and is content with what he is; and by consequence, it may be said, that your Happiness is in your own Hands, and depends upon your self; make a serious reflection upon it, and you will find it so.

XIX.

A Mind compos'd and well perswaded of the Christian Truths, judges of things as he ought, and not according to the Opinion of the World; and the esteem they set upon their Riches, Honour, and Pleasure, is all the Happiness of a Man of this World; do not make them yours, but search for a Happiness that is not subject to the Misfortunes, Losses, and Afflictions which happen every Day of our Lives in this World.

XX.

In all things that concern your self, do not use the Balance of the World, but your own; that of the World will never be just to you, because it neither knows the bottom of your Heart, nor the disposition of your Mind; it judges upon false and deceitful Appearances; some pass in the World for the most Happy Men, who think themselves the most unhappy.

XXI.

Your Birth, your Wit, and your Riches cannot make you content, because there is a tranquility of Mind, and a true Happiness that is not to be found in these outward Advantages; and without this peace of Mind, and this true Happiness, you will still be Poor in the midst of Riches, and not content in the middle of Pleasures.

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XXII.

It is sufficiently spoken in the World, that this Life is full of Afflictions and Evils; and for one rich Man that is content, there are a Hundred that are not so; but none would be of the greater number; every one desires to be this one Man, distinguished and chosen of a Hundred; why should you flatter your self with this distinction.

XXIII.

We all confess, and acknowledge, that Nature has made us subject to a Thousand Miseries, we know that the Subordination that God has established amongst us, that the dishonesty of some, the imprudence of others, and our own Passions, expose us to a thousand Losses and Disgraces; but we draw our selves out of the Crowd, and our self-love is the Cause that we cannot see our selves amongst the Unhappy, without murmering and Complaining; why do we do our selves this Favour? Do we see any thing that gives us Reason to do it?

XXIV.

Do not look upon Losses and Disgraces as real Evils, but as occasions to make us have a dependence upon the Providence of God, and to do it with respect and submission.

XXV.

If it be from the Providence of God, and from his power, that you find your self induc'd to praise him; that the Plains and the Woods, the Valleys and the Mountains, the Flies and the Elephants, are the Proofs of his infinite Power, you ought not to have less inducements to praise him, from the different states of the Poor and Rich, the Sick and the Sound, [Page] Shepherds and Kings, are the astonishing proofs of his adorable Providence.

XXVI.

Set all these Truths always in your sight; the more you consider them, the less Esteem and Love will you have for Worldly Riches and Pleasures.

XXVII.

Let the Law that commands you to live contented in the State that God has plac'd you in, be always well-pleasing to you; have no less submission to his Order, in what relates to Riches, than in what relates to the advantages of your Birth and Witt.

XXVIII.

You never yet thought that you had Reason to complain, that you had not lived in Ages past; and you have no more reason to complain of the Riches that another Man possesses, because God is the disposer of Riches as well as Times; he has made your Birth in such an Age as it has pleased him; he has likewise given you such Riches as has pleased him; in all that you have, you have nothing to do but to lift up your Eyes to Heaven, and to bless him that has given you what you have, and made you what you are.

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CHAP. XV.
Advice upon true and false Devotion.

I.

MY Dear Children, know that false Devotion consists in this, that you desire to be thought a Good, and Pious Man; and true Devotion, that you be really so.

II.

If you do nothing but in the Sight of God, and nothing but for his sake, you will certainly be of the Number of truly Devout; but there are few that have Motives so pure; that Interest and Reputation have not some share in what they do.

III.

Then when you are about to do some good Action, and have forsaken the World, perhaps you will not have forsaken your self; have a care that a little self-love and Vanity, be not in your Way when you do it.

IV.

I say further, have a care that when you have forgotten the World in your Memory, you do not retain it in your Heart; and when you think you have absolutely forsaken it, have a care that the World do not more live in you, than you in the World.

V.

When you do a good deed with applause, it may lose the half of its merit, because it is almost impossible, that Nature will not also find its Account; and that doing this good Deed, you be not puft up with the Reputation it brings you.

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VI.

It is not sufficient, that (to be a good Man) you do no ill, but you must do good. To do no ill, because perhaps you are not in a condition to effect it, or your Humour and Inclinations does not lead you to it; this is no great matter; there is neither Merit nor Virtue in it.

VII.

There needs but one bad Inclination to make a Man Vitious, but a great many good inclinations are necessary to make a Man Virtuous; for that Reason there are few that are Virtuous, but the number is great of those that are not so.

VIII.

It will be easie for you to live without Trouble or Sickness; if you do not love Gluttony and Drunkenness; but if you love Money, it will be difficult for you not to be covetous, as it is for them that are brought up, and accustomed to Pleasures, to renounce them for ever.

IX.

The Merit of an Action is greater by the Circumstances and Motives that caused it; that is the Reason that he that gives a little, sometimes gives more than he that gives a great deal more.

X.

Of two Persons that discourse together of Virtue, he that speaks most does not always speak the best; nor yet he that speaks the best, is not always the most Virtuous Man; but of the three, he that most desires to be so, and that is most industrious to become so. A Man cannot love and esteem Virtue, except he be a [Page] Possessor of it; that is the Reason he loves it, and that he is always afraid to lose it.

XI.

A Woman loves Beauty, but not for the love she bears to Beauty, but because she loves her self; that is the Reason she does not love it in others, and that she is jealous of those that are like her self; it is not the same with you. If you love Virtue in others, it is a Proof that you love your self less than you love Virtue; and that it pleases you in all Persons where you find it.

XII.

Do good without regard what others will say; and never consider what Reflexions others will make. Do good because you love it; and love it because it is amiable, and because you ought to love it.

XIII.

When a good Man will do a good Deed, and hide it from the sight of Men, he has God for a Witness of the action; he sees nothing but God; all about him is nothing but Air, that neither makes him that acts change posture or action; and one may say of that Man, that the World is with him, but he is not with the World.

XIV.

A good Man, when in the Church he is seen by all; he shuts not his Eyes, nor looks more up to Heaven, nor is he long upon his Knees; he contents himself with a modest outward appearance; that is enough for them that see him; but in the bottom of his Heart he gives himself up to the sweet motions of Grace; he hearkens to God, and adores his Greatness, his Power and goodness; all that comes not [Page] to the Knowledge of them that see him, and that is it which he desires.

XV.

A good Man is always good; if he change his manner of living, it is but to accommodate himself to the place where he is, and to the Employment he finds himself engaged in. He has always the same Thoughts, the same End, and the same Design; he only changes the Way to go where he desires to go, and seeks out new means to serve God, and procure his glory.

XVI.

A good Man that does good, and instructs others, is like a Mother that eats Bread and Meat, that with it she may feed her Child; but he that is good only in appearance, and though he talks often of Virtue, yet one may say that this Hypocrite may be compared to the Raven, that every day brought Bread and Flesh to the Prophet Elias to feed him, with which she did not feed her self.

XVII.

If you propose, in some certain actions, an Honest and Christian end, and do not so in others, you will be like the false Coiners, who to make a false piece pass, cover it over with Gold or Silver, and give it the stamp of the Prince.

XVIII.

If you be indeed a good Man, you will always agree with your self, what you will do one day, you will do always, all your actions will have the same end; you will not hide your self, or shew your self more in one action than in another; you will always have the same Zeal, the same Prudence, and the same Modesty.

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XIX.

If you be good only in appearance, you will not always act upon the same Principle; you will oftentimes take from your actions and employments the merit that they might have had, because you will never entirely be what you ought to be. I would say, you will part and divide your self; every thing within you will be at variance and contradiction; your outside will always gives the Lie to what your have in your Heart, and you will be nothing like to what you appear to be.

XX.

To be a good Man in your Ecclesiastick station, you must act otherwise than you do in your Secular Employments, or in a Married state; these different stations require a different manner of acting; such a Man would be a good Man, if he was but a Lay Man, who does not enough to be so, having enter'd into the Profession of a Clergy-man. Such a Lay Man does more than he ought to do. Neither the one nor the other are in the Ways where God has plac'd them, or if they be, the one walks in it two slowly, and the other too swiftly; the one stands still and turns back, the other, by going too fast, goes too far and loses himself.

XXI.

The unhappiness that befalls those that would live with Honour and Probity, comes from this, that they do not take care to govern their Life and Actions according to their Profession. You see Men retired and entred into Religious Orders, and you take your Model from them; that is it which God does not require of you, if you be a Magistrate, or serve your Prince in his Armies.

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XXII.

The practice of Devotion in others generally pleases us, yet we do not exercise our selves in the practice of it in the station we are in; this is the Reason that there are but few good Men, because there are few that do what they ought to do, and nothing but what they ought to do.

XXIII.

Do not trouble your self with the Mortifications and Austerities of others, but always remember what you are; do not measure your own strength by that of others; whether you be a Man of the Robe, or of the Sword, do not pretend, by a false Zeal, to live as a Benediction; this fickle and fantastick Conduct will make you live neither like a Benediction, nor like a Man of the Robe nor of the Sword.

XXIV.

The secret of Devotion is never to utter it, and not to make your self known, by the excess and extremity of making an outward show.

XV.

An easie and equal way of Life, is always a Mark of great Piety. Never do any thing extraordinary without Advice; but it is not necessary to take Advice to do extraordinary well in those things which you are accustomed to do, and what you see others do.

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CHAP. XVI.
Ʋpon the same Subject.

I.

MY Dear Children, do not think to get Honour by your Devotion, nor exercise it to be seen, or to serve your Interests or Designs.

II.

There is a great difference betwixt a Good Man and a Devote or Zealot; the one loves Virtue, and labours continually to acquire it; the other desires only to appear so; that which is done without making a show, does not please him, he is content to be taken for a devout one.

III.

If you be truly Religious, you will speak little of it, but do much; if you be not in effect what you would seem to be, you will talk much, but do little according to what you say.

IV.

If you are truly touch'd with Piety, you will mortifie your self as much as you can; you will be gentle and modest, and you will deny your self; but if you are Pious only in appearance, you will love only your self, and seek your own Ease upon all occasions; you will be querulous and impatient, and you will do any thing to satisfie your Ambition or your Curiosity.

V.

If you be one of those that feign themselves Devouts, you will desire to be Honour'd, and [Page] consider'd as such by all; that is your desirable Character. You will be an irreconcileable Enemy to all that do not give you the Honour that you think is due to you; you will be so wedded to your own Opinions, that you will always maintain them with Obstinacy, and never acknowledge any ones Reason but your own.

VI.

A good Man is always equal and just to all the World; but a Hypocrite is sometimes pleas'd sometimes angry. He is offended at all and pleas'd with none; the one is good to his Servants, and takes great care of them in their Sickness, and rewards their Services; the other is Passionate and Cholerick, and can suffer nothing, and upon the least fault takes occasion to turn his Servants away.

VII.

A truly upright Man is not hard to please in his Eating and Drinking; there is nothing good enough, nor well enough dress'd for the Hypocrite. The one, with care to be secret, gives Alms, and does his good Works. The other does it in the sight of the World, and boasting of them; the one thinks of pleasing nothing but God, and the other nothing but Men.

VIII.

A Man when he cannot make himself considerable in the World, oftentimes thinks to do it by turning Devout and Religious, and that is easily done. He needs but reform his outside, to put on a severe and sowre look, to censure all Men, and to keep Company with those that are Religious, or those that seem so; so he that was known to love the World, and was [Page] remarkable for his Vanity and profuseness, and perhaps for his Debauchery; upon a sudden turns his Tongue, and speaks in the Tone of a Devout.

IX.

Perhaps you may object to me, and say, what then is there no Repentance for those that have been carried away, and seduced by the Pleasures of the World? God forbid that I should have such a Thought; there is assuredly a Way left to return, but it is not so easie; a Man will not so easily find God whom he hath sought so little.

X.

Your greatest troubles are caused by your ill Habits, and your ungovern'd Passions; to find ease of these Troubles, you ought not to seek it in your Country-Houses of Pleasure, nor in great Offices and Employments, or in the Confidence you may have in your Friends; these Remedies will always be too feeble for so great Evils. If you enter into your self, and there search for that which you cannot find any where else; perhaps you will find there a Seditious Revolt and a Domestick War. You will see all in trouble and in Arms; and you will acknowledge, that you have no greater Enemies than your self.

XI.

What therefore must you do in this deplorable juncture? you must have recourse to God, he must be your only Refuge; but to have him favourable to you, you must have recourse unto him with great earnestness, with great Love and Faith.

XII.

To have recourse to God on this manner, is not to devote your self to God by Habit and [Page] Profession, and make Religion a Refuge in your Losses and Disgraces, nor to be devout for your Worldly Interest, or your Vanity.

XIII.

Many things are permitted to the Devout, or Votaries, which are refused to those that are not consider'd as such; they are always in the practice of good Works always in the company of good and pious Persons; they hear nothing talk'd of but Love and Charity, and upon these things they form an Idea of their own Piety and Merit; and this Devote that looks upon himself as no more subject to humane Frailties, falls oftentimes into a Pride like that of the fall'n Angels.

XIV.

The first thing that this false Devote does, is to seek out a Director that is not too severe, and complies a little with his Infirmities; this Devote looks upon himself as a publick Person, for whose safety all the World ought to be concern'd, and who ought to be look'd upon with more respect than others; he is so conceited with the Service he renders to the Poor and to the Church, that he perswades his Director to the same, who in this Vow governs him on all occasions, so that this Votary and Religious Person lives at his Ease, and suffers nothing repugnant to his Nature.

XV.

So it is of a Votary, as of a good Wit, both have their just value; to be a Man of Probity, and of good Understanding, he must be well furnished both with the one and the other.

XVI.

If you be truly Religious and Devout, you should seem to the World not to be so; Humility [Page] is the Seal and essential Proof of true Piety. Devotion in Hipocrites, is like the Dust that the Wind carries away every Hour; and in the truly Pious, it is like a Tree that hath taken deep Root, that the Winds and storms cannot remove.

XVII.

When I speak of the Devotes of one sort, and desire you should not be of the number, do not mistake me, and think I speak against true Devotion, but against the pretended one of Hypocrites; my intention is not to decry true Piety, it cannot be too much or too often praised, and no Tongue is sufficient to shew its value; my design is only to make you understand a false Devotion; that is, a Worldly and Feigned one, and that you be not deceived by it.

XVIII.

Nothing does so much prejudice to true Piety, as the false Zeal of those that make a Trade of it; their Vanity, Avarice, and Deceit, is the cause that the same Faults are unjustly charged upon the truly Humble, Upright, and Charitable.

XIX.

The difference of the true and false Devotion, is the same with that of a Natural and a Painted Beauty; the one without care or Artifice, always appears what it is; the other is nothing but fair Red and White laid on, which when omitted for haste, or forgetfulness, cannot have the esteem that it had obtained before by their means.

XX.

If you have true Piety, it will always be taken for such, without your care to [Page] make it appear so; and on the contrary, if your Devotion be feigned, you must always be upon your guard and watchful, to make your self pass for what you really are not.

XXI.

The truly and seemingly Pious, are often seen together, and the likeness of their outward behaviour, makes them strictly keep Company, and may be thought to be well pleased with one another; the first have a good Opinion of those which they believe like themselves, and the last would have their Friends and Kindred believe this good Opinion the first had on them. Charity is the Motive that unites the one, and Vanity or Interest the Motive that unites the other.

XXII.

A false Devote is oftentimes a Covetous or Ambitious Man in disguise, that gives himself this good Name to hide his Avarice or Ambition. You must have Judgment and Discretion, not to mistake the one for the other.

XXIII.

A false Devote seems always what he is not, and almost never what he is; and to deceive the World, he takes the Counsel Jeroboam gave to his Wife, to surprise the Prophet Abias, he changes his outside, but his Heart is the same; and as Rebecca gave to Jacob the Garments of Esau to deceive Isaac, so he takes the Garments of Jacob to gain the esteem of all that see him.

XXIV.

Be upright always, but never endeavour to seem more upright than you are. Hypocrisie is a Vice hated both by God and Man; and I must think that it is better to be a Libertine, [Page] than a Hypocrite, because one repents sooner than the other; and it is more easie for a Sinner to know himself in a disorderly and ungodly Life, and to return; than in a false and pretended Piety; of all Vices, Pride is that which God hates the most.

CHAP. XVII.
Advice against Covetousness, and all that relates to it.

I.

MY Dear Children, there is a great difference betwixt a Frugal and a Covetous Man; the one is a good manager, and knows how to use the Riches God has given him, and not dissipate them; the other condemns him for his Prudent Conduct, and knows not how to make use of the Riches God has given him; the one follows the Natural and Divine Light, that teaches him to use all things with Prudence; the other shuts his Eyes to those Lights, and not trusting to Divine Providence, and upon a necessity which he feigns, and which will never come to pass, will not use what he has, lest he should want; not believing that God will not forsake those that trust in him.

II.

Experience makes us know, that great Riches does not make a contented Mind, and that the more a Man has, the more he would have; what Troubles and Torments will you cause in your self, if all your Desires are placed in heaping up Riches? What perplexities, fears, and [Page] discontents will you always have, if you bend all your Thoughts upon adding Bag to Bag, and to fill your Coffers.

III.

The Covetous Man thinks himself happy, because he possesses that which the World so much desires; but never dreams that he heaps up a Treasure of Anger for the day of Vengeance, and that the Money that he keeps so close, will rise up against him in the Day of Judgment. Because, according to the Opinions of the Holy Fathers, the Covetous are in some sort Murtherers of those they do not relieve; and that they take away the Lives of the Poor, by not giving them what is necessary to preserve it. What do I say! It is certain, sometimes they are self-murtherers, when they refuse themselves the necessaries of Life, as they often do.

IV.

When God forbids Lusts, he does not mean the Lusts of the Flesh only, but also the immoderate Desire of Riches, a Desire that you can never enough fight against; for nothing is more ordinary than to form Desires of this Nature, and to make them without scruple of Conscience.

V.

Be not you of the number of those that are more covetous than the Jews, that think that the heaping up of Riches is permitted them, and that they may lawfully, on all occasions, search the means of becoming Rich.

VI.

I wish that Experience may not convince you, that Avarice is a fertile Sin that brings forth many others. I desire that Experience may not [Page] make you know that Covetousness is the Fountain of all sorts of Vices; in truth it cannot be denyed but that all Robberies and Thefts, both secret and publick, all Murthers and Cruelties, are but the different streams that flow from this Fountain.

VII.

You cannot too much observe that Avarice confounds and destroys all things; it is by that, that all the Principles of Religion are despised, that the foundation of Justice is destroy'd; it is by that, that Judges do not discern the Truth, and that the Advocates disguise it; it is by that, that Widows and Orphans are opprest; and lastly, it is by that, that we see so many Poor shamefully brought to the last extremity.

VIII.

If it were not for Covetousness, you should not see so much Faith-breaking amongst Merchants; so much deceit in Trade; so much cheating at Play; so many false Bankrupts in Commerce; so much Injustice at the Bar, and so much Symony in the Church.

IX.

It is Covetousness that makes the Rich to ruin the Poor, and to seize their Goods; if it were not for Covetousness, every one would pay his Debts, and it would be a pleasure to assist the Poor and Sick.

X.

You will disgrace your self by Covetousness; your Servants will not suffer it, but will quit you every day; you will grieve every one that you have to do with, you will have no Friends; and to speak the truth in a word, you will be good for nothing, but to be shut up in your Closet with your Counters, to count how much you have spared and scraped up together.

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XI.

If you be Covetous, you will be always discontent, always murmuring, and always old before your time.

XII.

If you be Covetous, you will be unsupportable to your Wives and Children, to your Servants, and oftentimes to your selves. You will torment your selves, because your Birth or Employments oblige you to make a greater Expence than you desire.

XIII.

If you be Covetous when you are to make any extraordinary Expence, you will be a Week in resolving upon it, and then will have need of a Dozen to comfort you after you have done it.

XIV.

Look upon Covetousness as a Vice Hateful to all Persons of Birth and Wit; look upon Covetousness as a Domestick Evil, that troubles the Peace of all the Family, and does not give a moment of quiet to those that are subject to it.

XV.

Take pleasure in the managament of Money, but not in the heaping it up; it is a Pleasure to make an Expence proportionable to what a Man has, but it is not one to sit down, and every Day to count what a Man has.

XVI.

To what purpose is it that your Coffers are full of Gold and Silver, if you make no use of it? And if the more you have, the more you desire to have; if you be Rich no otherwise but in this manner, one may well say, that you possess that which you have not, and that you [Page] have what you possess not; and that by Consequence, it is your Coffers that are Rich, and not you, and that the Gold you have does not make you more Happy, than if it was yet in the Bowels of the Earth.

XVII.

If you be Rich on this fashion, your Desires will lead you still to hoard up, and not to touch what you have gather'd, and so you will labour Day and Night for your Coffers, and not for your self, and you will enrich them at your own expence.

XVIII.

And when you are Rich in this manner, your Cares, your Troubles and Discontents will eat you to the Heart, and make you Old to that degree, that all Men will judge you to be Twenty or Thirty Years older than you really are.

XIX.

If you water a sandy Ground, it will not appear less dry; if you lay more Wood upon the Fire, it will not extinguish it, but make it burn more fiercely; it is the same of Covetousness, the more one heaps up, the more he desires it: and the insatiable desire of having, will not diminish, neither because you augment your Treasure every Day, nor because you possess it.

XX.

When you have Money in your Coffers, and do not make use of it, you are neither Master nor Possessor of it, but only the Keeper. You will not have the Pleasure that the Enjoyment of your Riches would give you; you will only have the trouble and pains of gathering of them, and the fear of losing them.

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XXI.

If you be Covetous, you will value nothing but Gain, Honour and Glory will have no share in your Designs; you will never consult them in whatsoever you undertake; and you will think you will steal from your self whatsoever you give to others; and whatsoever you allow to your self more than necessaries.

CHAP. XVIII.
Advice upon Vanity and true Glory.

I.

MY Dear Children, I know a Man of Quality, who passes for an Insolent and Proud Man with those that do not know him; and I assure you that never Man was less so than he; his fine Liveries, his splendid Equipage, and number of Servants, and his high looks do him wrong; when a Man is acquainted with him, he finds him upon all occasions very civil, familiar, and obliging, and one half Hours Conversation gives the lie to all these appearances, and destroys all the prejudices a Man has entertain'd of him. I speak not of this Man, but to approve in you such Qualities, that you are not proud but of your Birth, good Behaviour and Merit; and that these Advantages should always be maintain'd by your Civility and Complaisance with all the World; and that this should make you esteem'd and belov'd of all; therefore the Advice I have to give you upon this point, is, that you always preserve, as you do, such an outward Deportment as they ought [Page] to have that are well Born, and that it always be accompanied with a civility that appears natural in you, and which all the World have reason to approve.

II.

A Man should not be thought vain, because he appears so; he should not be consider'd as such, but when his Words and Actions make him known that he is really so.

III.

There is so strict a connexion betwixt Civility and Humility, that they are almost inseparable; it is for that Reason that St. Bernard assures us that they are two Sisters; the one hides her self as much as she can, and retiring into the bottom of the Heart, never desires to appear, or to be taken notice of; the other to the contrary, makes her self known at all times, and gives indifferently to all the World Proofs of what she is; the same may be said of Pride and Vanity; they are very seldom one without the other, though one of them hides it self upon all occasions, the other shews her self every moment.

IV.

No Man desires to be thought vain; it is a Fault that a Man takes care to hide from himself, but he is not asham'd to be taken for a proud Man, or for a Man that would be distinguish'd from others; and one who thinks he deserves to be taken notice of for what he is, a Man of Worth and Value.

V.

It is easie to judge whether a Man be Vain or no, when a Man does not pay him all the Respect that he thinks his due; his Pride taking offence, makes his Vanity appear; the [Page] one comes to help the other, to give a perfect Idea of him, which one desires to know.

VI.

If we were not almost all of us unjustly perswaded of our own merit, we should always discover in others some Virtue that we our selves want; and we should always find Reasons to submit to them; but we are such partial lovers of all that is in us, or of all that comes from us, that we believe (when any one praises another) he steals our own Praises, and gives them to him. I shall think you happy if you do not find this fault in your self, or that it be not really in you.

VII.

It is a mistake to imagin, that we cannot do an action that is taken notice of, except we be moved to it by Vanity; every one may make himself known according to the Employment he is in, without the Thoughts of being praised and applauded for it. The joy of performing his Duty well, is a sufficient reward for one who seeks to acquit himself with Honour, and never desires to carry the Fame of it further.

VIII.

It is of good actions in respect of Vanity, as of patience in respect to Peace of Mind; when a Man is accustom'd to suffer without complaining, and when a Man enjoys himself in his Sorrows and Afflictions, and the quiet of his Mind is not disturb'd, it is the same of performing good actions without Vanity, and making a Habit of it; Uprightness and Honesty are naturalliz'd in us, and are turn'd into our Substance, and become the Rule of all we do.

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IX.

If you have suckt in greatness with your Milk, and that the Air that you breath in, be an Air full of Respect that is due to you from your high Birth; think oftentimes that you are Men, and that Men are subject to a Thousand Frailties like others; do not make your self drunk with what flatters the Flesh and the Senses, and do not applaud your self for your great Riches, Birth, and seeming Happiness; enter into your self from time to time, and there learn Christian Lessons; learn to humble your selves before God, when all Men cry you up before the World.

X.

You may be Rich and considerable by your Birth, or by your Places, without being vain; as you may be brought low and poor without being humble.

XI.

Vanity is of all Countries, and no Country is strange to her; she has been and will be in all Ages, and all sorts of Governments; and she will be found to the end of the World in all Professions; it is but the manner of being Rich or Poor will make you Humble or Vain.

XII.

Humility and Modesty are not always confin'd to Cloysters or Solitudes, they are found sometimes in the Palaces of Princes, and in the middle of Courts; and there they draw to them the greatest esteem, where they find the greatest opposition; where all fight against them, they triumph over all.

XIII.

Praise ought to be consider'd as the Shadow of a good action, it follows it and does not [Page] go before it; so that he that does a good action that he may be praised for it, reverses the order of things, and puts that before which should come behind.

XIV.

Man is so propense to Vanity, that he often seeks Honour from the Vanity of another, and sometimes makes himself the Author of a Song or Madrigal, which he never made; and they that are deceived, not knowing the Author, are not in the humour to make enquiry, and to convince him of being false in a trifle of this nature.

XV.

The glory that Men of the World search with such earnestness, is for the most part so ill established, and of so little duration, that it cannot better be compared to any thing than to what appears in a Dream, or upon a Theater; a Dream passes, and a Comedy ends, and there scarce remains any Memory of them.

XVI.

So many Heathen Philosophers have given us Examples of despising glory; that it is amazing that we can make it the Object of our Vows and Wishes. Those Philosophers ought to be always before our Eyes, and tho' dead, ought to instruct us, and inspire us with Thoughts capable to make us ashamed of those we have had, and of those which yet we may have.

XVII.

Sometimes we condemn Vain-glory, but yet we love it, and pursue it like to Rivers which fly themselves, and at the same time follow themselves; we are so filled with Vanity, that we flie our selves, and seek our selves, and do not find our selves contented either with the one or the other▪

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XVIII.

We fly Pride under its own Name, but give it more specious and honest Names, and then run after it; and, in a word, we disguise it so to our selves, that it no longer frights us, but we love it without scruple; and even so we deceive our selves with Pleasure, and are sworn Enemies to Pride, if our own Words may be believ'd; but we make it all our care, and the delight of our Hearts.

XIX.

Set not too great a value upon the esteem of Men and their Praises, for in this they are very capricious; the true Reward of a good action is, that you have done it, the rest depends upon the Mind, and interest of those it relates to; one will see it by a false Light, another sees it as it is, but perhaps, through Envy, will not speak of it as he ought.

XX.

Our Religion teaches us, that we should not set our Love upon Worldly Honours, nor its Praises; it teaches us to fly all the Thoughts of Vanity that it may inspire us with; it teaches you not to applaud your own Conduct, nor to value your own merit; it teaches you not to look upon what you have done as any thing extraordinary, that should distinguish you and set you above others.

XXI.

Religion teaches you not to consider your self with a secret complaisance, and not to wish that others may have Thoughts to your Advantage, and not to trouble your self and be transported against those that are noted not to comply with you in your pretended merit.

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XXII.

This sort of Spirit will hinder you from raising your self upon the ruin of others; this will hinder you from regarding those things that may distinguish you from others, as the advantages of your Birth and Wit; and this will oblige you oftentimes to cast an Eye upon your own defaults.

XXIII.

This Spirit teaches you to value the good that you do, and not the praises that attend it; it teaches you not to see your self by a false Light, and not to withdraw your self from the true Light, to the end that all your actions may appear to be no other than what really they are.

XXIV.

So many Persons of Quality, of Wit, and Merit, have renounced the glory of the World; and by a generous disdain all that could be consider'd in it. This may make an impression upon your Hearts; this that I say to you now, is but an Eccho, to repeat to you here that which so many brave actions have said, and made such a noise when they have been blazon'd abroad in the World.

XXV.

The more you despise the Honours and Praises of the World, the more you will be esteem'd; Men will give you that with pleasure, which you refuse by your Virtue; and then the value they have for you, will come from the Heart, and will not end in the outward Proofs of a respect that is forc'd, or in studied affected, and extravagant praises.

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XXVI.

Delight in fearing God, and living according to the Dictates of your Conscience, and not in your Birth, Employments, or Riches. Value your selves less upon being persons of Quality, than upon your making your selves appear such by your Life and Behaviour; which you should take care that it be always civil and obliging: make it your glory, that your Civilities and good Offices that you render to all, should more make you known who you are, than your Equipage and number of your Servants.

XXVII.

Know ye that there is more Honour to a Man of Quality, to be familiar with those that are inferior in Birth, than to carry himself with Pride and disdain towards his Inferiours.

XXVIII.

Be you always perswaded, that true Honour consists chiefly in despising it, and doing your Duty civilly and obligingly, without expecting Praise or Reward. In a word, there is no Man so full of Honour, and makes so good use of it, as he that despises it the most.

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CHAP. XIX.
Advice upon Raillery.

I.

MY Dear Children, it is seldom that Raillery is not offensive, and therefore by consequence often has ill effects.

II.

Of all Railleries, those that may be made of Princes and Soveraigns, ought most to be avoided. You cannot be too cautious in this point; there is always cause to repent of such a Liberty, when you take it, and give not the respect due to them.

III.

History teaches us, that the Emperour Domitian, who lived in the end of the first Age, led a Life so idle and effeminate, that when he retired into his Closet, he employed his time in catching Flies, and killing them with a Bodkin, as Children do Wasps; this gave occasion to the Answer that one Vibius Crispus made to one of his Acquaintance, who came to the Palace to make his Court; and asking whether any one was with the Emperour, he answer'd, no not so much as a Flie. The Answer was pleasant and witty, but I must tell you it cost him dear.

IV.

How imprudent soever you may be in this point, have a particular care you do not rally [Page] the faults of your Parents or Friends; if you observe any, forbid your Eyes the seeing of them, or your Tongue speaking of them.

V.

If you set your self up for a Railer, you will be an Enemy to your own Reputation and quiet; a Man that sets himself to rally, puts Arms in the Hands of those that he diverts himself with, and oftentimes receives more Blows than he gives.

VI.

After you have rallied in a Company, and gone out of it, you are no sooner departed from it, but they will examin you from Head to Foot; and one that has not spoke a Word while you was present, will tear you with his Teeth when you are gone, and in the mean time you may be sure that none will take your part; none will excuse you, or be sorry for you; to the contrary, the most reserved by his Silence will seem to condemn your Behaviour, and approve of what is spoken of you.

VII.

It may be said of a Man that hears raillery, that he is a Man of Wit, but the contrary of him that makes it; the one makes a Business of his Wit, and without reason; the other is Wiser, and draws himself out of it; the one is blamed by every one, the other praised by all.

VIII.

He that rallies without being taken notice of, is like a Woman full of Paint and Patches, [Page] far from pleasing, is despis'd, and every one takes care to avoid his Company.

IX.

It is true, that oftentimes the tone and manner that one rails with, is the Reason that they excuse him and are not offended at him; but at the same time it must be agreed, that sometimes they that are rallied, or those present, have not the Judgment to understand the manner, but rather consider what was said, than the manner of saying it.

X.

There is nothing in my Opinion, wherein you can do your self so much Wrong, as to set up for a Professor of Raillery; if once you give your self this Reputation, you will lose the confidence of your Friends, and the esteem of all Persons of Honour. None will value those who make it all their Design, and all their Aim, to pass for a Wit and Railer, and to divert himself at other Mens Costs. Nothing appears serious, nothing honest, or allowable in such a Design.

XI.

If you rally with Wit, you will make Enemies with your Wit, but they will be nevertheless your Enemies; and you will nevertheless make them think, that your Wit is not capable of any thing better; and make them believe that all the strength and quickness of your Wit has no further aim, nor cannot go further than a trifling injurious pleasantry.

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XII.

There are some, who to give themselves the Liberty of rallying, and that none should deny it them, begin with themselves, and first turn themselves into Ridicule. This is to buy this liberty very dear. I beseech you do not you purchase it at that Rate.

XIII.

A Man of my Acquaintance, much given to Raillery, both by Inclination and Custom, begun to play his part as soon as he came into Company, and said a Hundred pleasant things of his own Nose, and other parts of his Face; and after that he thought all things would be permitted him, and no person escaped him; but in truth there was more to be said against the Humour and Wit of the Man, than against the [...], Eyes, or shape of his Face; he [...] himself obnoxious to all Men of Sense and Reason, and that understood Conversation.

XIV.

If you give your self the Air and Humour of a Rallier in all Companies; Men will not believe you capable of any Secret or any Business; they will fear, and not without Reason, that you will turn all that is serious and of consequence into jest and pleasantry; they will never ask your Advice upon Marriage, or any Employment that may present it self; they will perswade themselves that nothing solid or serious will agree with your Wit.

XV.

In a well establish'd Government, Raillery [Page] ought to be banished; it is a Pest that infects and corrupts thousands that might do the State and Publick good Service. This Pest is so much the more dangerous, and spreads it self more easily, because it always appears pleasant and agreeable.

XVI.

If these Railers were not applauded, the Race of these Idle and ill-contriv'd Wits, would soon be exterminated, and Conversation would become more easie and more honest.

XVII.

By accustoming your self to rally, you will lose the esteem you ought to have for them with whom you live, and you will fancy a false Idea of your own Merit and Perfections; the oue is against Civility and Charity, the other against Justice and Truth.

XVIII.

The more you are above others by your Birth, Riches, or Employment, the more wary you should be how you displease or anger them; the Rank you are plac'd in above others, does not give you right to despise really or affront them; they dare not offend you, because they fear you; do not offend them, that they may love you.

XIX.

There are many that applaud themselves when they have exercised a fine piece of Raillery and Wit; but for certain, you will be better pleased with your self, than they are, when you abstain from it; and have sacrificed some [Page] Words to the Reputation of others, which will be more to your own Honour, and the satisfaction of your Conscience.

CHAP. XX.
Of Charity and Alms which ought to be perform'd to the Poor.

I.

MY Dear Children, Alms is a good Work, that cannot be deny'd; but you must do this good work rightly, if you will make it acceptable to God, and profitable to your self.

II.

You ought not to trust to your Alms you do, as if they should license you to continue in your disorderly living. You ought not to purchase, if I may so speak, this impunity by a liberality which does not cost you much, and which your own Interest induc'd you to; your Alms ought to be the proof and the effect of the Conversion of your Heart; and to supply the want of Zeal and fervour in the mortification of your selves; they ought to be as the Golden Key that open's the Gate of Heaven.

III.

The sacred Scripture teaches us, that he is Happy that has Pity on the Poor; it is therefore easie to make your selves Happy for ever, since it is natural to succour those that are in Misery. And why shall you he Happy? Because you shall have good Advocates, and powerful [Page] Intercessors in Heaven; the Alms that you give to the Needy shall speak continually for you.

IV.

The Sacred Scripture teaches us farther, that none can believe in God, and make profession of being a Christian, without loving of Mercy; it appears by this Expression, that you ought not only to give Alms bountifully, but that you should take pleasure in doing it, and seek for occasions to do it.

V.

A Father of the Church assures us, that we cannot be pleas'd with giving Alms, except we be verily perswaded, that the good we do to others, we do to our selves; and that we give to our selves what we give to others in their Necessity; and that we put a little Earth in the Hands of the Poor, by which we gain Heaven.

VI.

If you have Faith, you will do your self Honour and Pleasure, in succouring the Word incarnate in the Persons of the Poor, who are his Members.

VII.

What joy and glory ought it to be, to give to him who has given to us all that we have, and who has made us all that we are.

VIII.

When you refuse the Poor that ask of you, you do great wrong to your selves; for the [Page] Scripture positively says, that to do Charity to the Poor and Sick, is to lend to the Lord upon great Interest, who will certainly pay again what is lent him.

IX.

God forbids us to lend to Men upon Usury, but he not only permits us, but commands us to do it to him; Usury, in regard to Men is Criminal, and punished with eternal Death; and to the contrary, our Usury, in regard to God, is innocent and profitable, of which a happy life, that never shall have an end, is the infallible Reward.

X.

God has no need of your Money, it is he that gives us all we have, but the Poor have need of it; and when you give Alms to the Poor, God receives them by their Hands; the Poor cannot render what you give them, and can make no other acknowledgment than to Pray for you; which when they do, they say at it were, O Lord God, we have received some Money, we can never pay it again; good God pay it for us, if you please. He is good Security; you give Credit to a Man, if a Rich Man be Security for him; with greater Reason you ought to trust God, when he obliges himself to repay what is advanced upon his Promise and Security.

XI.

The Poor have a right to the temporal Goods of the Rich, as well as the Rich have a right to the Spiritual Goods of the Poor; they depend reciprocally the one on the other. [Page] The Poor have recourse to the Rich, to succour them in this Life; the Rich have recourse to the Poor, to obtain in the other World, by their Prayers, the pardon of their Sins.

XII.

You are therefore oblig'd by Justice and Interest to give Alms; by Justice, because Temporal Goods being given by the liberal Hand of God to all Men; the strong ought to assist the weak, the Sound the Sick, and the Rich the Poor.

XIII.

You are oblig'd by Interest to give Alms, to the end that you should obtain from God those Graces that he hath placed in the Hands of the Poor, and by this means you labour to work out your Salvation, which is oftentimes affixed to the Works of Mercy.

XIV.

He that is ready to have Mercy, is happy, says the Wise Man; behold the Reason is, that God judges the actions by the Principles from whence they come; the bottom of the Heart of him that gives is known to him, and that is the Reason that small Alms given with true Zeal, is more acceptable to him than great given without Love.

XV.

The joy and chearfulness with which you give, will augment the Value, and give them a Merit whereof God alone is the Judge.

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XVI.

You may assure your self, you cannot be good Men unless you give Alms, for it is essential to Virtue; the more Piety you have, the more you give to the Poor; the more you are known by your Christian Practices, the more you will distinguish your self by Alms.

XVII.

You give what you have to the Poor, that you may receive what you have not; this Commerce is equally profitable to both; without the Alms that you give, you will die in impenitence; without the Alms that are received, the Poor would die in want; see how God provides for all by his infinite goodness.

XVIII.

It is glorious for Persons of Quality to prefer the care of the Poor, before that of their Greatness and their Pleasures. The more Piety you have, the more you will reflect upon what I have said; and the more you make Reflexion upon it, the more will you profit by it.

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CHAP. XXI.
Advice upon Sincerity in Words, and the Way to know when we should speak, and when we should be silent.

I.

MY Dear Children, so much as a Man by his corrupted Nature loves disguise and lying; so much when he acts by Grace and Honour does he love Truth and Sincerity; as Purity ought to raign in us in every thing, so Truth ought to be Mistress not only of our Hearts and Minds, but also of all that appears in us, or comes from us; that is, our Words ought always to agree with our Thoughts and Actions, and there should be nothing within us, that gives it self the Lye.

II.

Never speak against the Truth; but you ought not always to speak it; you ought on some oceasions, to keep it secret, as a thing you are oblig'd not to reveal in such Cases; you may conceal the Truth, and not speak it, but in no case disguise and lye.

III.

Sincerity harh always been esteemed by all the World; it hath always been regarded as the part and Character of an Honest Man.

IV.

Pythagoras us'd to say, that the Gods had given two considerable Graces to Man, in giving [Page] him the power to be sincere, and to do good Offices to his Friends.

V.

If we should be all heard to speak, there is not one of us but would say we are sincere, and desire others should be so with us, in the mean time, there are few of us that are so in effect; and those that are pass for imprudent, and such as do not know how to live.

VI.

Of all that concerns sincerity, the Name only is belov'd; to be sincere, to speak according to the World, is to say all that we can think, and more; when we praise any thing; but upon a thing that may be condemned, we speak with prudence and circumspection.

VII.

A Man cannot too much praise a Man whom he likes, and in this point one cannot be too sincere; but when you blame him never so little, and pass the bounds of sincerity, you grieve him, you offend him.

VIII.

If you follow the Practices of the Age, he that has not Wit enough to appear sincere in flattering you dextetously, will have no great Credit with you nor esteem; you would neither have Men sincere [...] Truth, nor Flatterers in appearance. You would have Men sincere according to the fashion, and as they are ordinarily, in the practice of the Age; that is, Men that are prudent and cautious in telling [Page] you of your Faults, but witty and dexterous in speaking your Praises, which you think you deserve; a Man of this temper, and sincere in this manner, shall pass with you for a brave Man, who knows perfectly well how to live, and acquize Friends every day.

IX.

There is little sincerity to be learnt at Court, it is the place of the World where they best disguise what they think; every one has his Designs, and if you trust them, you will be almost always deceiv'd.

X.

Sincerity is always laudable, but it ought always to be accompanied with prudence and circumspection. You ought always to speak sincerely, but you ought not always to speak. If you will always keep and not lose your Friends, nor the favour of great Men, nor have difference with your Kindred and Acquaintance; learn to be silent.

XI.

A prudent and discreet silence will be always more to your advantage, than the most witty and the best contriv'd sincerity; a Man often repents that he has spoken, but never that he has holden his Tongue.

XII.

What prudence and circumspection soever you use in speaking, it is still speaking, and great Lords and Men of the World will have the Power of explaining your Words as they please, and they seldom change their Mind [Page] in what they believe you have said to displease them.

XIII.

Sincerity is sometimes as faulty as a [...]y; that is, when you use it unreasonably; when you speak with sincerity upon things that you ought to be silent in, you will offend them of whom you speak, and you will give them cause to accuse you of imprudence, incivility, and want of Charity.

XIV.

Do not think it an Honour to be taken notice of, for one that talks most in the Company, but to the contrary, take pleasure in not speaking but when you ought, and what you ought. Speak to make Conversation, but do not pretend to take from others the same liberty, and to have an equal share in that innocent divertisement.

XV.

Consider a great talker, as a Vessel always full, that can hold no more, which is proper for nothing but to be emptied; and though he empty himself every moment, yet he seems still to be full.

XVI.

There are some who have such an Itch of talking always, that one may say they had need of two Tongues as well as two Ears; and that these sort of Persons give ear so little to what others say; that one Ear would be sufficient to hear what is spoken to them; and two Tongues not too much to entertain the Company in which he talks.

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XVII.

As it is said, that one speaks to the Eyes of a Man when he Writes to him, so it may be said, that a Man speaks to the Mouth of one that has no Ears to hear others speak, and whose Tongue seems to perform two Functions at once, that of hearing and speaking.

XVIII.

The Tongue ought to be the Servant of Reason; do not suffer this Servant to run through the Streets, and stop every Passenger; keep her under, and let her not be employ'd otherwise than in the Service of her Mistress; in a word, do not permit her to appear to no purpose, and against the Interest of her she belongs to.

XIX.

Regard Speech as the Door of the House where Reason Dwells; do not open this Door but when occasion requires it; if you usually do otherwise, you will shew that this House is not well govern'd, and abandon'd to be pillag'd.

XX.

If you know how to be silent, you will deserve to be prais'd more than if you spoke the finest things in the World, and the most pleasing.

XXI.

It will always be in your Power to speak what you have been silent in, but not to call [Page] back what you have spoken, and from thence came the Proverb. That Men have taught us to speak, but the Gods to be silent.

XXII.

A great talker tells all he knows, and all he knows not; he is neither capable of Secrecy, nor of Business; it is a Sive that can hold nothing; it is a Torrent so rapid, that nothing can stop it.

XXIII.

It is very seldom that a great talker hath either discretion or good manners; that is the reason why Nestor in the Tragedy of Sophocles, does not reproach Ajax for his much talking, because he was a brave Man, so that he excus'd his too many Words in favour of his Actions.

XXIV.

A great Talker is like a Drunkard that falls into excess, unbecoming and unworthy of a Man of Quality; he discredits himself so, that tho he speaks the most solid Truth, out of his Mouth they will be taken for Lies or Trifles, that are not worthy of attention.

XXV.

Reason ought to govern the Tongue, and all its motions; so as a good Hand and a good Ear makes an Instrument of Musick melodious and agreeable.

XXVI.

To speak much, is not precisely to make a long Discourse, for that is profitable and necessary, [Page] but it is to lose time, and to speak to no purpose.

XXVII.

You will never talk too much when you talk well, and always speak too much when you speak ill.

XXVIII.

The Naturalists hold, that the Beasts teach us to be silent, and say, that by instinct they forbear to cry and make a noise on some occasions, for fear they should become a Prey to those Beasts that they are afraid of.

XXIX.

Bias the Wise Graecian, being requested by Amasis King of Aegypt, to send him the Best and the Worst Member of the Beast, that he should first Sacrifice; he sent him the Heart and the Tongue; the Heart to shew him it was the Principle of all good actions, and the Tongue as the Fountain of all bad ones.

XXX.

You may be assur'd, a readiness and custom of talking continually, is the beginning of Folly, because the levity of the Tongue comes from the levity of the Brain and Heart; and for that Reason, you ought to be as reserv'd and moderate in your words as in your actions.

XXXI.

If you talk much, you will be like to Frontier Towns, that are not fortified; that are always exposed to the insult of the Enemy; that is the saying of a Wise Man, which you can never too much think upon.

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CHAP. XXII.
Ʋpon Evil Speaking or Slandering.

I.

MY Dear Children, I cannot too much make you abhor Evil Speaking; in my Opinion, it is the most infamous of all Vices; it is so much the moor to be feared, that whosoever is subject to it, oftentimes gives a mortal blow to a Man, that never knows the Hand that kill'd him. And that I may give you a true Idea of those that speak ill of others; I assure you, they are Traytors, Cowards, and Murtherers.

II.

I call all those Evil Speakers that speak ill of others, whether that be true what they say or not; the Reason is, that both do equal harm, and are equally received as true. In effect the custom is, that Men do not suspend their Judgment on these occasions, but perswade themselves that common Report is warrant enough for the Truth of the Matter, to make them believe it, and do not think themselves obliged to examin it.

III.

We shall never recover the Reputation that we have lost by Evil Speaking, as we recover our Health we have lost by our excess, or by some other accident that has happen'd to us; one depends upon our Constitution, our Temper, or our way of living; the other does not depend upon our selves; we are in the Hands [Page] of the Publick, that never spares or favours any one; and when they have received a prejudice to any one they never quit the impressions that are given them.

IV.

One thing of the World that you ought to study most is, that you take care to make the good actions of others to be esteem'd, more than to publish their bad ones. You should be very unjust with exactness and severity to aggravate what others have done ill by weakness or surprize, and bury in Oblivion, and never speak of the good they have done with great zeal and earnestness.

V.

Resolve firmly never to hear any one ill spoken of, but declare that your Ears shall always be open to hear all that can be spoken good of others, and always shut your Ears for any thing that shall be spoken to their disadvantage; this will procure you great quiet of Mind, and hinder you from hearing a thousand things that will disturb it.

VI.

We are almost all so unhappy by Nature, that we are more touch'd with Ill than with Good; if we hear of a dozen good actions, they leave less Impressions upon us, than one bad one that is told us; we might chuse one of those dozen good actions that pleases us most, to publish it; but this is what we never think of; but we can never have Language enough to publish one bad action to all the World. Let us do our selves justice upon this way of proceeding; [Page] on one side it notes a great Corruption in our Hearts and Minds, and on the other side it denotes the little Respect and Charity we have one for another.

VII.

Tell a Man of the World of an extraordinary action that deserves to be taken notice of; he has much ado to believe it, and requires Proofs and Witnesses; and is perswaded that it would be a weakness in him to believe such a Report so easily; but let a malicious Man forge a shameful and detestable action; he believes that at the first moment it is told him; ask him the reason of this difference, and he will answer you, that the Good and Charitable Report a thousand good actions one of another, that they never once thought upon; will it not be equity likewise to say, that many wicked actions are attributed to those that never had the Design or Will to commit them; he is cautious and circumspect in believing what is said of the one, and finds no difficulty to believe the other, in one of these he must be convinc'd, because it is a good action; in the other he is at first moment perswaded, because it is a bad one.

VIII.

Oftentimes a Man speaks ill of another, because if he had been in his place, he would have done that which he accuses him of; his own weakness gives him an Idea of anothers; and the Reproach of his own Conscience supports his ill speaking of another; and that is all the foundation he has for it. He is perswaded, that he must have yielded to the Temptation; and there needs no more to make him report that another [Page] could not resist it. Thus you see how most things pass in the World, after what manner Men decree and decide the actions of others, and upon what foot we make our selves Arbitrators and Judges of them.

IX.

It is more cowardise in my Opinion to speak ill of one to others, than to affront him; the reason is, that he that speaks ill of another assaults him when he is absent; there is none to resist him. And this manner of acting, cannot be but by a Man of no Courage nor Honour, who hazards nothing, but does all with security. He that speaks affrontingly to ones Face, he whispers not Secrets in the Ear of another; he trusts it not to a Stranger upon the Religion of an Oath; he attacks his Enemy in his Face; he conceals nor disguises any thing; and without Fear of his Anger, he fights him with equal force; so that I can easily conclude, that he that speaks injuriously to ones Face, is the more transported, the other the more dangerous; but the action of the one is more excusable than the other.

X.

The Evil Speakers and Slanderers may be fi [...]ly compared to Vultures and Ravens, who never seek for Flowers and Fruits, but only for Carrion, upon which they fall upon to feed. The Slanderers do the same thing; they never look out for good Actions; they are curious for none but bad ones, and there they rest to censure and aggravate them.

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XI.

They may be likewise compared to the Sea, and this Comparison seems more equal and just than the other. As the Sea buries in its bottom, Gold and Silver and Precious Stones, and all that is precious in the Ship that it swallows, and throws up upon the Shore nothing but some stinking Carcasses, and some worthless Relicks of a miserable Shipwrack; so these Slanderers hide the good qualities of those they would destroy, and never speak of that which would be praised; they continually expose their defaults without ever making mention of their Virtues; they suppress all their good actions, and publish nothing but what has escaped them by surprize, weakness, or imprudence.

XII.

It is not enough, that you are not the Author of Slanders, but you must not be one of the Complices. I say it is not enough that you did not invent them; but you must have a care that you do not report them, and spread them abroad.

XIII.

I do not know whether he that enters a Town first to pillage it, does more wrong, or they that follow and set all on Fire. It is the same of the Slanderers. They that report and spread them abroad, does at least as much injury to those that are ill spoken of, as they that forged and invented them.

XIV.

Your Conscience and Honour will always [Page] suggest to your Thoughts conformable to what I have spoken to you, and do but a little consult them, and you will have a horrour for this Vice, and will avoid the Company of those that are subject to it.

CHAP. XXIII.
Advice about Expences, and the good management of them.

I.

MY Dear Children make no greater Expences than you are well able to bear, nor more than you ought; govern your Expences according to your Estate, your Employments, and the rank you hold in the World; do not desire to appear above what you are, and do not impose upon the Publick, by desiring to pass for what you are not.

II.

If you make all your Expences in Cloaths, in Horses, in Furniture, and on your Table; this is not a good way to make your self consider'd; he that chuses rather to have good Books than a Bed of Velvet, or rich Hangings; a considerable Office than a great Equipage, is the more judicious; the one sets his Heart upon Trifles; the other has an Understanding more solid, and judges of things accordingly.

III.

The Expences that are Profitable and Honourable, and have happy Effects, are preferable before those that please but for the moment they are made in, and leave no other [Page] Fruit behind them but Repentance for the making of them.

IV.

You ought to sow by handfuls, and not turn the Sack; this Old Proverb expresses well what I would say, since it makes us understand, that we ought to sow our ground, no [...] to scatter it; we ought to rule our Expence and not to make it excessive.

V.

To make too great Expences or too little, are two vicious extremities that you ought to have care to avoid; it's true, one is more easily to be done than the other; but likewise it must be confessed, that one Fault is better than the other; a Man cannot lessen his Expences when all is spent, but he may increase his Expences when he has wherewithal to do it.

VI.

There is no Expence that we ought less to grieve at, than that which is made out of gratitude, every thing speaks in favour of this expence. The Interest of him that makes it, and the Interest of him for whom it is made are equal in this occasion; the one deserves it, and the other thinks he is oblig'd to do it, so that both authorize it, and both justifie it.

VII.

I know a great many that make great Expences, but I know few that make it as they should do it, and when they should do it.

VIII.

Men do not grudge the Expence that makes a great Show, and for which he is honoured, but this is chargeable, and it is with Reason said, that it is rather snatch'd than comes out of the Purse. A Man grudges not ten Pistols spent to [Page] make him appear great, who grieves at one for his particular use; be not you of this Humour and Character.

IX.

A Man out of good Husbandry oftentimes denies himself many things that he freely gives to another; this is to pay dear for the respect that others give him; this seems as if the Riches that is given us, was not given us for own selves, but for those that have business with us.

X.

Be not Covetous nor prodigal in your Expences; govern them according to your Condition and your Estate; it would be imprudence and Vanity to spend higher than you are able; and want of the heart to live, not to make an Expence agreeable to your Birth and station, that it hath pleased God to place you in; observe a just middle between these two extreams, and by that means you will merit the esteem of all, and be taken for what you are.

XI.

When you make an Expence regular and agreeable to your Condition, Men will have reason to say you are Wise, and know how to live well; but when you make it too great, and that it be taken notice of, you cannot help it if Men of good Sense Censure and Condemn you.

XII.

If you spend higher than you ought, you will give Weapons to your Enemies to fight with you; that is, you will give them Reason to deny that you have right to make such Expences; nay, they will go further, and will enquire into your Family and Ancestors; and [Page] will, without Favour, Examin if you be of that Quality and Descent, that can intitle you to make such an Expence.

XIII.

Do justice to others as well as to your self; do not exalt your self by your Expence, above what you are; and endeavour to make your advancement due to your Merit and Virtue.

XIV.

If you find your self to abound in Riches, make a Law to your self to do nothing to make a Show and a Noise, and your moderation in this case will be more for your Reputation, than your extravagant spending would be; by this means you will gain Friends, and by the other make Enemies envious and jealous.

CHAP. XXIV.
Advice upon the thoughts of Death.

I.

MY Dear Children, you will pass your life without Trouble, if you be not afraid to lose it; Death treading on our Heels continually, and being almost always by our side, we need not wonder, if they whose Consciences accuse them do fear it; and if they have not one moment of quiet, all other Objects pass away, but this stays with them and never quits them.

II.

Do not seek for a Reason why so many die without making their Wills, nor why they do [Page] not make them but at the last extremity? It is because they cannot make it without speaking of Death, which they fly and fear above all things.

III.

There is no Person amongst us, to whom the Life of Jared and Methusalem is not always present; every one flatters himself with the length of the Course they are to run; and considers himself always as if he had but just begun it, and never as if he was going to end it.

IV.

Experience may well teach us, that more then half of the World dies before Threescore, and yet all run Counter to this Experience, and look upon it as in Relation to others, and place themselves in the number of those that must have a pleasant and a happy Old Age.

V.

One dies in his Bed, as in the Field of Battel; of a Fever, as with the Shot of a Musket, and no Man is sure that he shall live longer than another.

VI.

To the end that Death may not take from the Goods that you possess, and all the Pleasures you enjoy, deprive your self by little and little of both the one and the other; and Death will have little more to do when it can do no harm; it will not come so soon for the most part, nor when it cannot affright when it comes.

VII.

Death does not look hideous and terrible, but when it is look'd upon as a Monster, an Enemy to Nature; if you will often approach to it in your Thoughts, and make it familiar to you, you will afterward look upon it as a [Page] Friend that comes to assist you, and to carry you from the miserable Condition you are in.

VIII.

Death is the Mistress of our Days, but not of our Minds and Hearts; she can deprive us of Life, but not against our Will, if we expect it without Fear or Trouble.

IX.

Wherefore should you fear Death, since you cannot grieve for Life after you have lost it, because you are threatned with a Hundred sorts of Deaths, must you fear them all; is it not better quietly to expect one?

X.

If by fearing Death you could be assur'd to avoid it; this Fear would be reasonable even in the greatest Men; but being it cannot produce this effect, it serves fo [...] nothing but to make you die a thousand times, though you can but die once.

XI.

No Man is grieved that he did not live a hundred Years since; and why should any one grieve that he should not live in Five Hundred Years to come; you have no more right to the future than you have to the past; you are betwixt them both, hold your self in Peace, and be content.

XII.

You will go out of the World as you came into it, not knowing the Day; make good use of this ignorance, this moment so terrible to some is hid from you, perhaps for no other reason, but that you should think every Day the last of your Life.

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XIII.

What matters it if you die Ten or Twelve Years before it was expected; amongst an innunumerable number of Men, can one know that there are two or three fewer, or that Paris is not so well peopl'd, or the State not so well served.

XIV.

Life and Death are equally natural; you began to live without Desire or Passion; and you ought to die so. The World is a Theater on which every one plays his part; it is for the beauty of the Universe and his own Advantage, that every one acts his own in his time.

XV.

You ought to know how to die, whilst others learn to live; there is only God that is Eternal; your continual changes from nothing to life, from health to sickness, and from Life to Death, ought to give you a high Idea of the grandeur of the infinitely perfect Being.

XVI.

It would surprize you if one of your Servants should refuse to obey your Order in any thing but what pleases him; it is equally wonderful, that God that has created us to live and to die, and that we should obey him in the one, and refuse it in the other.

XVII.

It is to cease to be a Man, to make himself an Enemy to Death. Since you are born to die, you are subject to Death as well as to Life, and I can assure you are alive and dead at the same time. You are alive, because you are not yet dead; you are dead, because you were not alive in Ages past, and you shall nor be alive in those to come.

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XVIII.

If you make ill use of your Life, it is unprofitable to you, and when you lose it you lose nothing, wherefore are you then afraid to lose it; have not you more reason to hope it than to fear it?

XIX.

You have been Heir to your Ancestors, is it not reasonable that your Children should be your Successors? your Life is limited to Fifteen or Twenty Lustres, why should you desire to go beyond it? Have your Ancestors done you the wrong to take your places, wherefore would you fill the Places of your Descendants?

XX.

It is strange to fear an imperceptible moment to the last breath we live; and so soon as we are expired, it cannot be truly said that we die, since we are no more. We do not find this Death in one that is yet alive, nor do we more find it in him who is nor more, because he is past Death, and it has no more power of him.

XXI.

A Dwarf is a Man as much as a Giant; and he that lives but a short time is as much a Man as Adam and Seth, who lived many Ages; the great and the little in the Life of Man, is but as one point in regard of Eternity; and the World seems no more empty by his Death, than the Sea appears dry by a drop of Water taken from it.

XXII.

It would be terrible and frightful to us, if Man could not die, since he would find his Life a Fountain of inexhaustible Miseries.

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XXIII.

Thales the wise Graecian assures us, that it is the same thing to live and to die; and one day being asked why he did not die; he answer'd, because if I should die, it would be asked why I did not live?

XXIV.

I am not of that Philosophers Opinion; I do acknowledge that Life is a Good that God has given us to enjoy, and that Death is a punishment of sin, therefore I do not look upon them as things indifferent; yet the difference that we find between them, ought not to give us too great a tie to the one, nor too great a fear for the other. We are all Criminals, but we ought not go cowardly to our Punishment; we ought to be sorry that we have given cause for our Condemnation, but we ought to suffer with Submission, Courage, and Constancy.

XXV.

The first of our Days teaches us to live, but the last does not teach us to die; learn this Lesson long before you make use of it, and the sooner you do it the better.

XXVI.

In all Contracts of Marriage, there are Articles that concern the Death of both Husband and Wife; and as soon as we make a strict alliance with Reason, we ought to make Articles of Death between her and our selves; this will make our Alliance more firm, more Spiritual and more Christian.

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CHAP. XXV.
Ʋpon the same Subject.

I.

MY Dear Children, you ought to regard this Life as a passage to another, which never will have an end; this being so, you ought not to set your Affections upon any thing here below, seem it never so great and Charming. You ought early to begin to die to Honour, to Pleasure, and to your self.

II.

You ought to consider that your Salvation is the greatest business you have to do, and you cannot think too much of it, nor too soon.

III.

If you have nothing to reproach your self with, you will be quiet and easie in your sickness. One is not afraid of Death but when he has lived ill.

IV.

Let it not trouble you when you think of Death, but to the contrary, look upon it with Pleasure, as an end of all your Miseries, and as the beginning of a happy Life.

V.

When you see so many Persons of Quality, think no more of Death than if they were never to die; that ought to engage you to enter into your self, and to reason justly upon this Practice; their insensibility ought to touch you, and you ought to be perswaded, that the less they think of Death, the more they ought to [Page] think of it; and the less they fear it, the more they have reason to fear it.

VI.

Make use of the Blindness and Folly of others. Pleasures pass away, Greatness vanishes, and believe it, it is late, if not too late, to renounce the amusements of the World, when you can no more enjoy them.

VII.

Make Reflexion upon the difference that there is betwixt a Worldly Man; that is, with all the Pomp of this World; I mean one that has loved them to the end of his Life; and a good and pious Man, who has always labour'd to bury himself, living in an humble, obscure, and retir'd life; the one dies overwhelm'd under the weight of his Honours, Pleasures, and Greatness; the other dies under the Weight of his Mortifications, his Fasting and Humiliations. They both die, but what difference in their Death, in the Thoughts and Consequence of one and the other; the World hath fought against them both, but they have ended the Battel in a different manner; the one is Conquer'd, and hath submitted to the Laws of the Conqueror, and the other hath triumphed over him; so that it might be said, that the Death of one is glorious, and may be envyed by those who look upon it with the Eyes of Faith; and the Death of the other ought to make those that live such a Life, to tremble.

VIII.

But without considering so morally, why should not you think often of Death, being that Experience teaches, that you must die? every step you make, leads towards your Grave; is it possible that you can do this without Reflexion? [Page] and that you can travel so long in the Way, and not sometimes think of the end that this way leads you to?

IX.

You live but to die, and always to think of Life, and of all that may make it pass away pleasantly, and never think of the time that must put an end to it, is a thing very extraordinary for a Man of Sense.

X.

Our Sicknesses, our Wrinkles, our Gray Hairs, our Years past that cannot come again; and how little we can rely upon those that are to come; are all of them eloquent Tongues that teach us that we must die.

XI.

The different States of your Life are a looking-glass continually before your Eyes, shewing your approaching Death, which already has laid his Hands upon you. You have been Infants, young, and Men grown up; all that is in order of Nature; but when you are Old, what can you think or hope to become? Death without doubt will follow Old Age, which will be the end of your Life, as Old Age has been the end of your precedent Ages.

XII.

You will ask me what are the means to think of Death, when one loves life so much? To that I answer, there is one way which is easie; that is, not to love Life so much.

XIII.

Why would not you think of Death, since it will end your Necessities, your Weaknesses, and your Miseries; it will finish a Voyage, at the end of which you will find a happy Eternity.

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XIV.

If God, infinitely just, has Condemned Man to Death, as a punishment due to his Sin; the same God, infinitely good, has given Death to the same Man, as a Soveraign Remedy to all his Evils, and an infallible means to make him for ever Happy.

XV.

The nature of Man was created as a Vessel that ought to be fill'd with nothing but good and precious Liquors; but the Devil, jealous of his Happiness, having put the Poison of Sin in this Vessel which corrupted it. God was willing to repair that which the Devil had spoiled; and not being willing the Poison should so possess our Nature, that it should always remain infected; he breaks this Vessel in pieces by Death, that the Poison might run out, and that re-uniting these divided pieces at the general Resurrection, this Nature might be mended, purified, and become as wholly different from it self.

XVI.

When you shall have quit the Care you had for the Grandeur and Riches of this World, and turned your Heart towards God; you will easily surmount the rest, and not look upon Life but with indifferency; your Treasure will be in Heaven; you will never lose the sight of it, and you will easily resolve to be soon with it, to enjoy it to all Eternity.

XVII.

You have no need of Faith, or Rhetorick to perswade you, that all must die; the Decree of God which for so many Ages has been indifferently executed upon all Men, is an evident demonstration of it; and if you find any so extravagant [Page] as to doubt it; you need but to lead them from Tomb to Tomb, and the innumerable number of Bones that they may see there, will convince them of the Truth of it.

XVIII.

Death has her Lessons and Responses, and they are within us; let us ask her as long as we please, the greatest and most sensible of all her Lessons, the most precise and infallible of all her Answers will be, that we must die.

XIX.

Since that all that we have within us, teaches us, and speaks continually to us, that we must die; will it be strange to make this necessity of Death the Object of all your Thoughts and your Reflexions?

XX.

Since that all that are about you, cannot tell you the Day or Hour of your Death, will it be strange if you make this uncertainty the Object of your Meditations; and that by a Spiritual watchfulness make a serious consideration of that which one Day must certainly arrive, and of what will become of you.

XXI.

That you must die, is an undoubted Truth; you ought therefore to make all your Endeavours, and employ all your Cares to die well. It is the most natural consequence that you can draw from this Truth; but to employ all your cares without thinking of Death; and what good will it do you to think of it, except you think of it in such a manner, as the Thoughts of it will be to your Profit and Advantage?

XXII.

Your Soul that will survive your Body, does not that merit your care and pains? that you should make it happy for ever? does it [Page] not deserve more your care and labour, than the mass of Flesh which it animates? What have you not done for this Mass? What cares have you not taken to preserve it? in this point I leave you to your own considerations.

CHAP. XXVI.
Advice upon the thoughts of Death.

I.

MY Dear Children, the great and infallible means to die well, is to live well, and the great secret and means to live well, is to think often of Death.

II.

A good Death is nothing but the consequence of a good Life; live well that you may die well, and think often of dying, that you may live well; so that a good Life and a good Death reciprocally depend one upon another, and they serve the one the other, as the means to come to a good end; they give a Hand one to the other, to lead a Man where he ought to be.

III.

All the most great and charming things in the World may be consider'd two ways, in relation to their Beginning and their End; the beginning of Greatness, Honours, and Riches, is God; but as soon as we consider them as coming from God, what difference do we find betwixt them and God from whom they come? when [Page] we consider this, they must needs appear despicable. These are like little Stars, that with their small Lights dazle us, but disappear, and fall by their own weakness into the profound darkness of Night. As soon as God, the Sun of glory, infinitely bright, appears before our Eyes in full splendour; such is the frailty and misery of all in this World, be it never so great, never so rich, when we consider it in respect to its beginning, God.

IV.

Thy Misery and greatness appears yet greater in respect of its end, since all Greatness and Riches end with our Lives, and are buried with us in our Graves.

V.

All the World runs headlong to Death, great and small, Rich and Poor, Kings and Shepherds; and the swift Revolutions of Age draws after them Millions of Men. Our Fathers are dead, we shall likewise die; our Posterity shall pass away like us, and like them that have gone before us.

VI.

Our Years rowl insensibly one after another, and rowl without standing still one moment till our Death. It is thither that every step we make leads us; 'tis there we all go, like several Rivers which throw themselves into the Sea; the Day and Hour of your Death will never come to your Knowledge. Make your advantage of this Advice that is given you from the Mouth of Truth, and continually be watchful.

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VII.

Never put off the consideration of Dying to the Hour of your Death; that moment is not proper to die well; you ought to make it when you are in Health, and your Mind undisturbed.

VIII.

If you would be watchful and think of Death, you should seriously examin the Life you lead, to see if it agree with that which you would lead, when you are at the point of Death; that is to die to the World, and to all that you love in it, before you die indeed.

IX.

If you be watchful and think of Death whilst you are living, you will dye by a hearty and true forsaking the World and its Pleasures; you will love a retired life; you will be assiduous in Prayer; you will mortifie your self as much as you can; you will give liberally to the Poor; you will exercise your self in good Works; and you will fill your Mind with nothing but what may encrease your Faith, your Hope, and your Charity; it is in the practice of these things without doubt, that the care and right thinking of Death consists.

X.

Children are afraid of their Fathers when they disguise themselves, because they do not use to see them in that manner; take away the Disguise you give to Death, and it will not fright your any more. Death is represented continually attended with a company of Physicians, [Page] with the Tears of a Wife and some Children crying; it is imagin'd to enter into a Chamber where the Sun is shut out, and lighted by Torches; she is believ'd to walk sadly, and to inspire Fears and sad Thoughts into all that look upon her: Take but away from her what does not belong to her, and what is given to her without Reason, and you will easily be more familiarly acquainted with her, and dispose your self to receive her as a Friend which is welcome to you.

XI.

He that fears not Death, leads a life long, pleasant, and happy; his life is like a Torch well lighted, that is not put out suddenly, but by little and little, 'till all be consumed; his life is like the Fruits that are not pluckt off the Trees 'till Nature has made them ripe and good, and fall of themselves in Autumn, when they are come to Maturity.

XII.

If you use your self often to think of Death, you will die without Pain, as you have lived without Trouble. You will look upon Death with Eyes enlighten'd with Faith and Grace; you will see her approach without Fear; you will look upon her as the indispensible Law of Nature; and you will submit to her without repugnance: Nothing that usually frights on the like occasion will trouble you; you will end your Days with so great quiet of Mind, as if you had quitted nothing that was dear to you upon Earth, nor any thing that Reason and Truth had made appear amiable. Your Death will be so calm, that the greatest Men may desire [Page] that theirs may be like it; and to speak more justly, your Death will not seem a Death, but a ready passage to a more long and happy Life.

XIII.

It ought not to be said of a Man, that he fears Death, when you would only say that he thinks of Death often, and that he sees it coming fast on. In effect, one does look upon things that he fears not as unhappiness, or dangers that he ought to avoid or fly.

XIV.

The fear of Death oftentimes takes from us the pleasure of living; and the love of Life oftentimes hinders us from Dying without Pain, and so by false Ideas that we make to our selves, both of the one and the other, we make our Lives unpleasant, and our Death unquiet. Make good use of this Advice, and regard both the one and the other, with a sound and quick Eye, and full of Faith.

XV.

I shall conclude this Article with the Opinion of a Father of the Church, that says, that it is not Death that is terrible, but the Opinion that a Man has of it: And he adds, that to die is not to be feared, but to live in continual fear of Death is that which makes it terrible; this Fear is not caused but by the Corruption of our Life, and is never found in a good and Christian Life. We see by Experience, that good Men live in great Peace and tranquility of Mind, and so likewise die in the same.

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CHAP. XXVII.
Advice upon Friends, and the concerns of Friendship.

I.

MY Dear Children, there are so many good Qualities required in a Man that one would make his Friend, that it makes me wonder, when I hear that some Men have a great many of them. If the number of them be great, from thence may be concluded assuredly, that they are false Friends; or that they only bear the Name of Friends, but are not so indeed.

II.

Think your self happy if you have one true Friend; it is a Treasure that you ought to keep with care; you ought to esteem it Riches enough to have found him, and possess him, and never to think of finding another.

III.

The greatest part of Friends continue so not long. You have found them at Play, at your Recreations, at a Ball, in Walking, or at Visits made to the same person. Leave Gaming, go no more to a Ball, to a Comedy, or to the Walks, and be not so assiduous in your Visits, and then adieu Friends; you will lose them with the same facility you have gain'd them.

IV.

When a Friend Treats us as we desire he should, he does his Duty, but when he uses us [Page] not according to what we expect, then we are displeased; but I do not know whether we are more sensible of the one than of the other. I do not know whether three Kindnesses that he has done us, obliges us so much, as the hiding one Secret from us discontents us; three Services already done us are soon forgotten by the refusing us a trifle.

VII.

To keep a Secret committed to us by a Friend is no great matter to boast of; the obligation to it is so strict and natural, that there needs but a little Reason and Justice to oblige us never to dispense with it; but it is a most infamous action to reveal it; the confidence he puts in us is the most essential mark of a sincere and true Friendship; and likewise it is a most unpardonable Treachery, to abuse that confidence, and by revealing it betray him that hath trusted us.

VIII.

It happens often, that a Friend who has given us a Hundred Proofs of his Friendship, and who has been for Ten or a Dozen Years a faithful keeper of our most important Secrets, quarrels with us for a thing of no consequence; for a jealousie, for a point of Honour; in a word, for a Word that has escaped us; and this discreet Man who never spoke a Secret, upon a sudden becomes like the Servant in Terrence, who like a Vessel pierced; can hold nothing. This Person becomes an Echo which makes himself heard of all; after this, think how much you may trust a Friend, and publish to the World, what a Consolation it [Page] is to an honest Man, to have a faithful Friend.

IX.

Friends ought to keep the same Silence, and to have the same discretion which Confessors have; the difference is, that the one acts always naturally as Men; the other not purely as Men, but as fortified by the Grace of the Sacrament of their Order which they have received; this is it that makes the first that they do not forget what they should keep secret, but that by imprudence or Revenge they sometimes discover them; whereas the latter whether they forget a Secret, or do not forget it, the Grace by the Sacrament of Order, makes them act as if they had forgot it, or as if they had never known it.

X.

If you resolve and think it a great Pleasure to have a Friend, be sure that you have but one. As you have but one Confessor to commit the secrets of your Conscience to; you also ought to have no more than one Friend, to whom you commit the secrets of your Business and Temporal concerns. If you change your Confessor, you will find that the diversity of your Confessors and Directors will beget an inequality in the Conduct of your Life; so it cannot be otherwise, but that the change of your Friend will notably prejudice your Business, and your concerns.

XI.

Of a Friend that you have, you will make an Enemy if you break with him, without his [Page] giving any just occasion; so likewise you are deceiv'd in your choice; but it is better to suffer a little from your own imprudence, than to expose your self to the indiscretion and revenge of one who thinks himself despis'd and injur'd. Put on a good Countenance, and contain your self as much as you can, and do not in one moment, in the face of the World, give the Lie to all that you have said and done in Ten Years.

XII.

In a matter of Friendship, do not move faster than he you intend to make your Friend; he pleases you, he is of your Humour, and he seems to have all the qualities necessary of a good and prudent Friend, but perhaps he has not the same respect for you; perhaps he has not the same Opinion of you that you have of him. Do not you still go forward, let him come part of the way to meet you; do not presently throw your self in his Bosom, you must know him before you esteem him; and if you do not esteem him you cannot love him.

XIII.

It is better you should be accused of indifferency when you have no Friends at all, than of inconstancy and ingratitude for quitting them. In case you be reproach'd with indifferency, that will procure you quiet of Mind, which will not disturb you; but inconstancy and ingratitude, which you will be charged with, in case you be given to change, will make you lose your Reputation, and that once lost, you will have no joy in your life.

[Page]

XIV.

We are all weak and subject to imperfections, and if you have not the indulgence to pardon your Friends, and they the same to pardon you, your Friendship will last no longer than it can serve both your Interests, and both find your account; and when you break with your Friends, your Tongue only will make known what you had concealed a long time in your Heart.

XV.

A Man that tells you he is your Friend, his Word ought not to be taken, nor ought he to take yours when you tell him the same; both the one and the other ought to give Proofs of what they say; nothing can give greater assurance that two Men are Friends, than when experience makes them mutually acknowledge it.

XVI.

Before you resolve to make a Friend of him for whom you have an esteem; think of it a long time, lest you should be mistaken. I should not blame you, if you should think of it all the days of your life.

XVII.

We are all so cunning in disguising our selves, and our care and industry finds out such means to appear what we are not, so that an Acquaintance of some Weeks or Months cannot easily give a just and true Idea of what a Man is; we suffer our selves to be prevented, an obliging word, any small favour done with a good grace, oftentimes carries us too far, and [Page] most commonly we repent not 'till it be too late.

XVIII.

Nature leads us into Society and Company, but it is Reason that leads us to Friendship; the esteem that we have for a Man of Merit, makes us seek and desire his Acquaintance; and if he do the same to us, the reciprocal Consideration begets a Conversation between us, which at first, was but an outward Profession of mutual kindness, which afterwards becomes cordial and full of Affection, and that which is called Friendship.

XIX.

Friendship and Love do differ much in this, that Love is passionate and inconstant, carrying things to extremity for some moments, and at other times loses all its Force and Zeal; but Friendship is always regular, constant, and equal.

XX.

As soon as we possess what Love desires, our Love grows less, and abates of its force and ardour; and on the contrary, the Enjoyments of what we love by Friendship, makes it augment, and gives it a new value and new force.

XXI.

That which is ordinarily called Friendship, ought rather to be called Acquaintance, which is contracted by the like Employments, or the like Diversions. Such Friends as these, to speak truly of them, are such as see one [Page] another often, without ever having more sincerity for one another, more confidence, or more openness of Heart.

XXII.

With your Friends go always with Bridle in hand, that is to say, use great Prudence and Caution with those whom the World, or they themselves would make your Friends; these manner of Friendships are never so well linkt together, but that they may be easily broken; therefore it is good that you take such measures with them, as if you foresaw that there would infallibly be a rupture.

XXIII.

You will find Men enough, who will call themselves your Friends; it will be a pleasure to some, and to others an Honour; but will you find any that will be truly your Friends? and in effect, can you find them espousing your Interest as their own? and will they not upon some accounts be upon the reserve with you? you may have done them some Service upon some occasions, and they may have done you some upon others; these are no great Proofs of Friendship; the Laws of civil Society, does it not oblige us to do some good Offices of this nature to all sorts of Persons? And where is there an Honest Man that does not take pleasure to do them, when Occasion presents it self? especially when it costs him little.

XXIV.

In Friendships that are thought the most strict, and the most solid; every one uses to [Page] consider himself first, and in obliging his Friend, he always sees his own Interest, be it Profit, Pleasure, or Honour; he almost always finds himself in the way to gain some of them to himself, when he goes to do Service to others; all that he does so for his Friends, he does for himself; and he does but lend them that which he flatters himself they will return to him with Usury. Take just measures upon this, and be not surpriz'd.

XXV.

If you ask me, in what consists the pleasure of a true Friendship? I will answer, that it consists in seeeing and entertaining one another often, in giving reciprocal marks of Esteem and Affection, and in agreeing in their Opinions and Sentiments. I will tell you that I think, that of all these Demonstrations of Friendship which the Heart expresses by the Tongue, by the Eyes, and by a Thousand other pleasing Signs; there is form'd, as it were, a Furnace, in the which the Souls that love thus, melt themselves together, and become but one Soul.

XXVI.

Far from this is the friendship of the World, by which a Man is ashamed not to be debaucht with a Friend that is so, and not to be quarrelsome and passionate with those that take pride in being so; far from this Friendship that I commend, is that which carries us to commit a Crime, that we may be complaisant to our Friends, and not anger them, by our too much [Page] discretion and modesty; far from this is the Friendship of Libertines that is established in the ruine of Virtue, and on a shameful and Criminal Debauchery.

XXVII.

For my own part, I do not believe there can be any true Friendship, but between those that are united by Charity; they have the same Aims, the same-Ends, the same Motives, that is it which makes St. Augustin say, That happy are they that love their Friend in God, and their Enemies for the love of God.

FINIS.

BOOKS Printed for, and Sold by Tho. Leigh, at the Peacock over against Fetter-Lane in Fleet street.

[Page]

WESLEY's (Sam.) Life of Christ, in Verse, with Cuts. Folio.

RESOLVES, Divine, Moral, Political, with several New Additions, both in Prose and Verse, not extant in former Impressions: In this Eleventh Edition References are made to the Poetical Citations, heretofore much wanted. By Owen Felltham, Esq. Fol.

Cambridge Dictionary, Last Edit. 4to.

Salmons (Wm.) Family Dictionary, in an Alphabetical Method, containing Directions for Cookery, &c. 8vo.

Dr. Horneck's Four Tracts; (viz.) a Discourse against Revenge, &c. 8vo.

Milburn's Christians Patterns, 8vo.

—His Translation of the Psalms. 12s.

Contemplations Moral and Divine, in two Parts, by Sir Matthew Hale Knight, late Chief Justice of the King's Bench, 8vo. Price 5 s.

Style's Practical Regi [...]er, begun in the Reign of King Carles I. consisting of Rules, Orders, and Principal Observations concerning the Practice of the Common Law in the Courts of Westminster; particularly the King's Bench; as well in Matters Criminal as Civil, carefully [Page] continued down to this time. The Third Edition, 8vo. Price 6 s.

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An Essay upon Sublime, Translated from the Greek of Dionysius Longinus Cassius, the Rhe torician, compared with the French of the Sieur Despreaux Boileau. Price 1 s. 6 d.

The Church of England-Man's Private Devotions, being a Collection of Prayers out of the Common-Prayer-Book, for Morning, Noon, and Night, and other special occasions. By the Author of the Weeks Preparation to the Sacrament. Price bound 6 d. stitch'd 3 d.

The Holy-Days, or the Holy Feasts and Fasts, as they are observ'd in the Church of England (throughout the year) explained, and the Reasons why they are yearly Celebrated▪ with Cutts before each Day.

The Spiritual Combat, or the Christian Pilgrim, in his Spiritual Conflict and Conquest. By John de Castaniza. Translated from the French, with some Additions, Revised and recommended by the Reverend Richard Lucas, D. D. Rector of St. Catherine, Coleman-street.

Information about this book

Title statement

Advice to young gentlemen, in their several conditions of life· By way of address from a father to his children. By the Abbot Goussault, counseller in Parliament. With his sentiments and maxims upon what passes in civil society. Printed at Paris 1697, and translated into English.Conseils d'un père à ses enfans sur les divers états de la vie. English

Goussault, Jacques.

Edition statement

1698

Publication

Publisher

Text Creation Partnership,

Place of publication

Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) :

Date

2008-09 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1).

ID [DLPS]

A41719

ID [STC]

Wing G1451A

ID [STC]

ESTC R223716

ID [EEBO-CITATION]

99834001

ID [PROQUEST]

99834001

ID [VID]

38480

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Early English books online.

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(EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A41719)

Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 38480)

Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 1832:08)

Source

— Advice to young gentlemen, in their several conditions of life· By way of address from a father to his children. By the Abbot Goussault, counseller in Parliament. With his sentiments and maxims upon what passes in civil society. Printed at Paris 1697, and translated into English., Conseils d'un père à ses enfans sur les divers états de la vie. English, Goussault, Jacques..

Extent

[12], 142, [2] p.

printed for Tho. Leigh, at the Peacock against St. Dunstans Church in Fleet-street,. London :: 1698.. (Originally published as "Les conseils d'un père à ses enfans sur les divers états de la vie".) (With a final advertisement leaf.) (Reproduction of the original at the British Library.)

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