THE Golden Garland Of Mirth and Pastime, &c.
[...]e Two Loyal Lovers, William and Susan.
Tune of, My Life and my Death.
WEll met my sweet SUSAN, whom I do adore,
[...] [...]ave not beheld thee this Twelve-month and more,
[...]ther expected to see thee again,
[...] how can you flight me with scorn and disdain?
[...]ove wast thou but loyal, I happy should be,
[...] every moment my thoughts is on thee.
My Love is intire to Susan my dear,
But who wou'd have thought to have met wit [...] thee her
Sure Fortune afforded a fovour in this,
To send thee my jewel, let every kiss
Create a desire, more happy to be
For every moment my thoughts is on thee
In thee my sweet Creature I place my d [...] lig [...]
For thou art adorned with beauty so bright,
That none can excell thee, since thou art so fa [...]
Be kind and not cruel, for woful dispair,
May ruin thy lover, whose sorrow you see
For every moment, &c.
There's many a Damsel would fain be m [...] Bri [...]
Young Nelly and Nancy and Sarah beside,
Nay Prudence and Dolly, beside honest Joan,
All these I must tell ye, for me make their mo [...]
But I am thy Captive, and cannot be free,
since every moment, &c.
I pray you be quiet sweet William, she said,
I am not a weary of living a Maid;
For House-keeping's Chargeable, Rent it is dear,
I do not intend to be Marry'd this Year.
Take this for an answer, and keep your self free
And let not your fancy be fixed on me.
For should we be marry'd, we soon may inlarge
Our grief with our sorrows, our trouble and charge,
Besides I must tell you, 'tis not for a day,
A Month, nor a Year, but for ever and aye;
Therefore be advised, and keep your self free,
And let not your fancy be fixed on me.
Let none of those jealousies trouble my dear
For I will provide for thee, Love, do not fear;
I dayly will by my industrious care,
Provide for my jewel, no labour i'll spare;
Then prithee be loving, and let us agree,
For every moment my thoughts are on thee.
And though, it is true, we may have no great store,
Yet if we can but keep the Woolf from the door,
With what I do earn, for i'le carefluly save [...]
And doing of this love, what more wou'd w [...] have?
But to live in love, and likewise Unity,
For all my delights are now fixed on thee.
Now when he had told her his honest intent,
She could not deny him, but gave her consent
Their love in abundance they freely reveal'd,
Though once she deny'd him, at length she did yield
To be his most tender and dear loving spouse,
With many sweet kisses they sealed their vows.
The Barber fitted by a Wanton Miss of the Town.
To the Tune of, The Country Farmer.
O Did you not hear of a Barber of late,
When walking abroad how he pickt up a mate
It was I must tell you a Girl of the Game,
But yet I declare it, I know not her name
As [...]he was a ranging along in the street,
[...]h this jolly Barber she chanced to meet,
[...] freely did proffer to give her a treat,
[...] now you shall hear how he met with a cheat
[...]y to the Tavern they went in all hast,
[...] [...]ass of good Wine he resolved to taste,
[...] Miss was array'd in her Silks and perfume,
[...]e Drawer he shew'd them a large upper room
[...] Barber he then with a noble grace,
[...]an then to call for Canary a pace,
[...]ewise his kind Miss he began to embace,
[...]t yet he was soon in a sorrowful case.
[...]e Barber resolving to show himself great
call'd up the Drawer to bring up some Plate,
Tankard was brought, and they fill'd it with Wine,
[...]en, then they went on in their jovial design:
[...] this was a Liquor which he did adore,
[...]e Barber began for to rant and to rore,
[...] Miss she did ply him with brimmers good store,
[...] when all was out she still call'd for more.
[...] Wine was so strong it got into his head,
[...]fore it was night he must needs go to bed,
With his precious [...]ewel, the joy of his lif [...]
He freely declard they were husband and W [...]
Therefore to his Lodging he posted away,
Which was the next Chamber most gallant ga [...]
To sleep with his Miss till the Morning broad d [...]
But she had another fine project to play.
The Barber no sooner was laid in his bed,
But all his whose sences was perfectly fled
Now, now is the time, to replenish my sto [...]
While he is a sleeping as fast as a Rock;
Then out of the bed she straightways aro [...]
Resolving to take all the best of his Cloath [...]
His Money, the Tankard, then down stai [...] she goe [...]
And where she is gone now there's no body know [...]
Next Morning he finding himself all alone,
He sigh'd and lamenting made pittiful moa [...]
He found he had lost all the best of his suit,
His Money and likewise the Tankard to boot [...]
The Shaver was then in a pittiful fear.
For now he was rifled it well did appear.
He knew not what course in the World he should steer,
For sorrow must certainly bring up the rear.
[...]he never before was so serv'd in his life,
Alas, he was forced to send for his Wife,
To bring him some money to pay for the loss
And thus the poor Barber he met with a cross
The barber was noble, both gallant & great,
But now he hath paid for his Drinking in plate;
Let all other Shavers be warn'd by his fate
Lest you should be sorry when it is too late.
The fearful Combat between the Barber and his Wife, after they came home together.
To the Tune of, A Jobb for a Journy-man-Shoomaker.
The Barber coming home at last,
his Wife did much displease him,
For after some few hours past,
she thus began to teaze him;
You with your Girls can come abroad,
and freely spend your treasure,
But I poor Soul must lye at home,
and have no peace or pleasure.
Then presently I understand,
there was a fearful Battle,
She took the Ladle in her hand,
and made his bones to rattle:
The Barber knew not what to say,
he ruin'd was and routed,
In this most sad and bloody fray,
about the room he scouted.
Sometimes she lug'd him by the Ears,
affording him no pitty,
The Barber then with brinish tears,
and with this doleful dirty,
O pardon me, and spare my life,
that it may be amended,
I never more will wrong my Wife,
thou shall not be offended.
But this, alas, would not avail,
she laid her blows the faster,
His courage she resolv'd to quail,
and soon became his Master.
You lost your Cloaths and Money too,
and thus she did beslave him,
[...]u Rascal I will make you rue,
and then a bang she gave him.
[...]he with the Ladle broke his head,
and down the blood did trickle,
[...]e looked then as almost dead,
in this most fearful pickle:
Then falling down upon his knees,
said he, my dearest jewel,
I never more will thee displease,
sweet Wife be not so cruel.
[...] I can but thy favour gain,
my dear I will adore thee,
[...]ad company I will refrain,
and there is none before thee,
Shall ever be by me prefer'd,
then prithee don't deny me;
For thee alone I have regard,
my dearest do but try me.
Well, if I pardon you, said she,
and end this cruel quarrel,
Then you shall buy and give to me
a Suit of new Apparel:
The Barber then with Hat in hand;
unto his Wife stood criuging,
And yeilding to her full demand,
to buy hoods Lace, and Fringing.
Pray was she not a loving Wife,
of tender pure affection,
Who caused him to mend his life,
by giving him correction?
Now she has brought him to her bow,
to him a place is given,
And in the Hen-peck'd Frigat go,
to sail to Cucolds-Haven.
An excellent new Song, called, True Lovers perfect Loyalty, betwixt kind Corydon and Fair Phillis.
Tune of, O Mother Roger, &c.
AS I was near a Bower walking,
in a morning fresh and gay,
There I heard two Lovers talking,
and the young-man thus did say,
Love those glances from thine eyes,
All my sences does surprize,
[...]refore if thou shouldu devise,
[...]me to tyrannize,
[...]y heart will then be wounded sure,
[...]is thou alone can kill or cure.
[...] beheld a fairer creature,
the Shaves than thee I'le vow;
[...] the Honey is not sweeter
[...]n those kisses you allow;
[...] sweet and pleasant smile,
[...]y sorrows does beguile;
when thou dost send a frown,
[...] does clearly cast me down,
[...]y heart will then be wounded sure,
Tis thou, &c.
[...] vp this fair and pleasant River,
[...] our little Lambs will feed;
[...]kewise we will endeavour
[...] true love still to proceed;
[...] true and loyal Swa [...]n,
[...] attend the Flowry Plain,
[...] thy servant will remain,
[...]t requite me with disdain,
[...]t why my love is chaste and pure,
Tis thou alone can kill or cure.
I oftentimes in Dreams behold thee,
with a thousand pleasant Charms,
Ah! and likewise do infold thee,
in the Circuits of my Arms:
But when waking from this dream,
In a far and worse extream,
I am wounded when I see
My unhappy Destiny,
For why my love is chast and pure,
'Tis thou alone must kill or cure.
Why then said he my dearest jewel,
listen here to what I say,
I can never be so cruel,
thus to cast my Life away:
We will not disputing stand,
Here I give thee Heart and Hand,
No, nor make the least delay,
But appoint a Wedding day:
To thee my love is linked fast,
Now as long as life does last.
No sooner had his Love consented
to the Bands of Loyalty,
But he was himself contented,
both rejoyc'd exceedingly:
Farewell all those clouds of grief,
He at length had found relief:
[...]hat fair Nymph that gave the wound,
How at length his joys has Crown'd;
For now her heart is linked fast,
To love as long as life shall last.
The Welsh-man's Fantastical Humours; Or, Ap Shinkins Fegaries.
To the Tune of, The thundring Cannons rour.
THere was hur Welshman came to Town,
A Paper-sculled Tansle Crown,
[...]me of his Humours i'le set down,
and this the first Relation;
[...]e Iack-a-dandy he will jit,
[...] goes his Hat, out fli [...]s his Wit,
do declare, he is not fit
for common Scociation.
[...] you'l believe her idle Tales,
[...] is a Shentleman of Wales,
[...] since hur means and substante fa [...],
[...]ur is become a Railer,
Have you not heard the Lyons roar,
Or else the Bears on Southwark Shore,
Raise hur Welsh plood, hur will do more,
an inch hur will not fall hur.
Though hur is now to ruin run,
By spending all, and thus undone,
Yet hur was Shon ap Morgans Son,
'tis known hur had no other;
I pray you now attend and see,
Hur Fathers worthy Pedigree,
Was of an ancient Family,
ap-Shinkin was hur Brother.
And for hur ancient worthy fame,
Young Shinkin now bears up the N [...],
And likewise hur to London came,
which prov'd hur utter ruin;
By living here at such a rare,
Like to a Shentleman so great,
Hur wasted all hur whole Estate,
this proved hur undoing.
O now poor Shinkin's held in scorn,
Although hur was so Nobly born,
Hur now alas! is quite forlorn,
hur cannot Rant nor Riot:
For since her has consum'd hur Cole,
[...]r cannot feed on Pig nor Fowl,
[...]r yet of Robin-Run-i'th'-hole,
hur must have meaner dyet.
[...]hen Shinkin all along did look
[...] find hur out a Boyling Cook,
[...]t sée how Shinkin was mistook,
he did suppose a Barber
[...] be a Boyling-Cook, I trow,
[...]cause upon his Pole you know,
[...] Dishes they hang in a Row,
[...]ur straight went in for harbour.
[...]r hope there was good dyet here
[...] as the truth does well appear,
[...]e Barber did prepare his Chair,
likewise his Balls and Bason:
[...]o Shinkin being in the place
[...]e Barber in a little space
[...]an to rub and wash his face
[...]d then with-speed did hasten
[...] trim hur then he did prepare
[...] Welch-man he began to stare
first to speak he did not care
[...]r cleanliness did win her:
But when hur see the Razor brought,
Hur then began to change hur note,
Cots-plut, what will hur cut hur throat,
before her eat her Dinner?
Hur Welchman than began to roar
And straight way getting out of door,
Hur never will come there no more
although hur should be starved.
The Barber laughed then out-right
As truly very well he might,
To see the Welchman in a fright
her will not be so served.
The Duel betwixt Anthony and his Scolding Wife; together with his noble Conquest.
To the tune of The two English travellers
Was ever poor Man so perplext with a trust,
as I bonny Anthony, since I was wed?
She never will let me have my belly full,
for e're I have sup'd, I must hasten to bed.
[...] else she'l begin for to scold and to brawl,
[...] calling me Wittal, nay Cuckold and all;
[...] she with her Cronies must troule it about,
[...]hilst I in my Kennel must there snore it our.
[...]ence did but go for to drink with a friend,
but she in a trice then did fetch me away,
[...] Two-pence a piece, and no more did spend,
and yet it did prove a most terrible fray.
[...]e flew in my face and called me Fool.
[...]hen Combed my Head with a Three-legged Stool;
[...]nd furnish'd my Face with so many Scratches,
[...]hat for a whole Month it was cover'd with Patches.
[...]t every Penny I got in the day,
to keep her at quiet, I give her at night,
Or else she will license her Tongue then to play,
for two or three hours far worse then a spright.
[...]hen unto the Cupboard Peel-garlick must hye,
[...]o seek for the Crusts that are mouldy and dry:
[...]hen steep them in skim-milk until they are wet,
[...] commonly this is the Supper I get.
Nay once in a quarter, for meer fashion sake,
she'l then give me leave for to lye in her bed,
But I must be sure for to lye broad awake,
lest she in her humours knock me on the head.
But as for the Bed which I lye on my self,
It is full as soft as an old Oaken Shelf;
The Ticks she did make it of coarse hempen hurds,
And yet for all that I must give her good words.
We usually pist in a Pan ev'ry night,
the Cullender hapned to stand in the place,
She put me into a most pittiful plight.
It run all about both my stomach and face.
I told her sweet Wife, you do Vrine beside,
She called me Corcomb, and told me I ly'd;
How can it run over before it is come
So near to the top as the length of my Thumb?
A Cudgel of Holly I then did prepare,
then lawful correction to her I did give,
O then she cry'd out, I prithee forbear,
I ne'r will my Husband offend while I live.
I made her forsake all her Gosspping Crue,
and thus I have handsomely turned the chase
[...] now it is husband, pray how dost thou do,
but before it was Cuckold and Rogue to my face,
[...]d thus I must tell you I conquer'd a Shrew,
[...]d made her to buckle and bend to my bow,
[...]e formerly liv'd at much variance and strife,
[...]t now we enjoy a more peaceable life.
[...]he dear and tender parting of William and Betty: Being the Seamans faithful promise of being true and Loyal.
To the Tune of, The Country Farmer.
MY pritty sweet Betty, lo here is my hand,
I now am for sailing and leaving the Land;
[...]t prithee my dearest take this not amiss,
[...]nt let me enjoy of thee one loving kiss:
[...] purest affection I mean to maintain,
[...] when I return from the blustring Main,
[...]hen thou shalt receive all the profit and gain,
[...] pritty sweet creature, then cease to complain.
[...]his tydings is grievous, alas to my ear,
[...] shall I be able to part with my dear,
[...]hole vollys of sighs from my heart I shall send,
[...] think of those perils that daily attend,
[...] Love when thou art many leagues from the shore
In storms and in tempests, when Billows do [...]
My fear will be that I shall ne'r see thee more,
Sweet William whom I do so dearly adore.
Let none of those jealousies trouble thy mind,
I fear not but Fortune to me will prove kind,
For why, I have used the Seas from my Youth
Therefore by experience, I know of a truth,
If Heaven is pleased our Vessel to stear,
Though Billows be roaring, yet there is no fe [...]
We have as much safety as those that are here,
Therefore my sweet jewel be thou of good chear▪
Though we are divided, I always will prove,
Both faithful and loyal, and true to my love:
Though to forreign Nations abroad I must ro [...]
Yet many fine presents to thee i'le bring home.
I to the East-Indies a Voyage must take,
Then here is my Ring, I would have you to ta [...]
And also to keep it love, safe for my sake,
In token I never my promise will break.
And now my dear love I must bid thee adieu,
Our Captain and Bouson, and all the Ship [...]
Are ready for sailing, and I must away,
With thee I dare trespass no longer to stay:
Well, if thou art going, the Damsel reply'd,
The Heavens protect thee and still be thy g [...]
And guard thee my jewel, from dangerous [...]
And bring thee in safety home into my Arms.
FINIS.