Silence in the Court, not a word amonſt us three confederates, but what's ſpoken under the Roſe, it is not fit to let Francion go off thus for 135 pounds; wee'l make him marry thee Julieta, or make thee a good joynture all thy life time; Hee'l believe all to be Goſpel that we ſay, whilſt we agree in one and the ſame Tale, he won't be long abſent from us, therefore lets be forewarn'd and fore-arm'd againſt his coming.

The project will hit doubtleſs, we have ſuch a grand earneſt of his folly before-hand, 'tis but making him believe ſhee'l turn and be honeſt ever after, which if it were not ſo, you know Cuckolds have the beſt luck, for my part, I wiſh I were the richeſt Cuckold in Europe: Ju is not overworn, therefore not paſt turning, and a good two leav'd book left to look in ſtill.

Ay, and a good fat A—too thou mayſt lay thy lips on't but 'tis cuſtomary here to receive mony with wives, (who like light gold will not paſs without allowance,) but give mony for wenches, and that hee'l do I warrant yee, wee'l make thee a Preſident for others to imitate and follow: what muſt matrimony be made a matter of mony where there's a dainty Cunny? I'le make him believe ſhe hath as many ſuitors as there are days in the year, to make him more zealous of cozening his orrivals ſhould ſuch an Amazonian beauty, accompliſht with ſuch tranſcendant endowments both of body and mind, proportion'd with ſuch equal parts, enrich'd with Silver and Golden habiliments, be parted, with at an eaſy rate, ſo, as to make a ſlave her maſter, or a ſervant her Commander.

My very teeth water at the Contrivance, if it falls right, expect I will reward you both out of his eſtate, 'tis but his believing that I will be honeſt after all my Luſts and Lechery, and that's all one to a fool; for what the eye ſees not the heart rues not, I ſhall not be the firſt where that has turn'd honeſt, in the flower of her age, 'tis but your getting another to ſupply the place during my abſence, for common Jades (ſuch as Mal. Savory, Honor Brooks, and Nan. Jones,) are numerous enough, and will ſit with their leggs ſpread over the ſides of a chair with their petticoates and ſmocks in their mouths, whilſt their Comrades run a tilt at their touch holes in that poſture, paying twelve pence a time for holing; and for his part and mine we have taken a ſure courſe to try each others abilities before-hand; we ſhall not fear commencing of Law-ſuites for want of due benevolence, or for being unpenetrable, yet Ile have him ſign and ſeal theſe following Articles for an Aſſurance of his future Affections, viz.

Inprimis, That I Mounſieur Francion do freely, and willingly ſettle 300 l. per annum upon julietta, for and during her life time.

Item, That I will allow her a Coach and four Horſes, with Attendants anſwerable.

Item, That I wont be jealous of any man's coming, or viſiting her, of what Quality, Rank or Condition whatſoever.

Item, That I will allow her a Luſty Black, to hold up her train whilſt ſhe walks from room to room.

Item, That ſhe ſhall have free liberty to make choiſe of her own Chamber-maids, and others belonging to the family, and chuſe a-new every month, if they do not keep cloſe their chaps, what ever they do with their legs.

They are ſingular ways to provide horns for his head, but I would not wiſh you to ſtand upon ſuch Iunctilios, if he will but marry thee Ju, for if he ſhould deny to let thee have thy will and pleaſure afterwards, 'tis but taking a touch or two with a Counceller, (who freqently takes his fees that way, if his Client be handſom,) and hee'l ſue him for Alimony, and make him maintain thee out of his Eſtate in ſpite of his teeth, and then play the where under his noſe as many brave laſſes have done before thee, and he ſhall not help himſelf, whereof we have a thouſand Preſidents of women running from their husbands, and chuſing other Stallions for their Guardians, as appears by a late Treatiſe emituled the Trapp • n, written by Mr. Vernon in the caſe of Goodwin the Dyer, &c.

Thou haſt done well to ſatisfy me ſo cleerly, Ile follow the example of yong Starky the Hoſiers wife, who receiving ſome ſeeming abuſes from her husband, (when the major part of her Portion grew due) ranaway from him, carrying all his bonds, bills, Goldwatch, Jewels, Rings, &c. ſuing him for maintenance, as he found by woful experience, and the leaving off of his trade, under the pretence of his having the Pox.

I ſhall tell thee of another way beſides that, if thou haſt a mind to make him run mad; take a handſom Gentleman uſher to ſatisfy thy Luxury, and pleaſe thy lechery, into the houſe, love and lie with him and hate thy husband, lie naked in the bed rather then have thy ſmock ſow • d to his ſhirt, when thou wouldſt under pretence of riſing to piſs, or going to a cloſe ſtool, go to bed with thy Gentleman-uſher, and if he be angry, call him rogue, raskal, and jealous Cuckeld; and if that fayls comb his head with a joint ſtool, or break his pate with a Bed-ſtaff, and it will cool his courage quickly.

Thou'rt a prime Tutor indeed, if thou hadſt but a whore to match thee, for to read a Lecture in a two-leav'd book, thou haſt evermore had a natural propenſity to, as to venery, and knowſt how to ride poſt to the Devils Manſions; for I dare ſwear there's ſcarſe a rule in all Aretines Poſtures, but thou haſt it ad unguem, readier then thy Pater Noſter; for thy zeal, (like Harry Martins with the Beggar Wench, Thom. Scots with the Bonelace-wench of Wickham, and Hugh Peters when the Butcher cudgel'd the 5 pounds out of his Carkaſs for lying too neer his Brindle) is lockt up in a Down-diddle more then honeſty, yet I like thy merry devices.

Every man to his trade, as the Rat-trapmaker ſaid to the Parſon, be ſure I have not my name Guſman, an old beaten ſoldier for nothing: I have told, Ju, a woman will have her will, and you are not to ſeek in that point, Im'e ſure on't.

Thou ſay'ſt very true, good wits wll jump together, as thou didſt with my Couſin, but methinks we are grown huge modeſt in our debates bewixt each other, but I wonder Francion tarries all this, while, I wiſh we had ſo me pleaſant tale, told to drive away the tedious night.

Rather then want, I would invent a ſtory, but this I ſhall tell you ſtands upon record, is very true, and was try'd at Salisbury Aſſizes of a bouncing Girl, who was courted by a neighbor whom ſhe did not fancy: this yong Enamorato out of ſpight, reports ſhe had no C—and ſcarce a piſſing place; a ſecond ſuitor engages her affections, but upon noiſe of the rumor relinquiſhes her; a Crafiy Lawyer (as moſt of that function are) tells her he would ſue this ſlaunderer in her behalf, and demand nothing till Recovery, to which ſhe aſſented, the party being arreſted the ſuit was ſhortly brought to tryal, where a Jury of women were ſummoned (not men) to ſearch her, who upon demand from the Judge, what they had to ſay in the buſineſs, one of the eldeſt Matrons anſwer'd that ſhe had a good thing (meaning the maid, not her ſelf,) the Judge told her that was not enough to ſatisfy the Jury, ſhe muſt ſpeak broader and plainer? Why, then (quoth ſhe) ſhe hath a very good commodity: I tell thee again woman thou muſt ſpeak plain; why, then if I • uſt I will, and will ſwear it again and again, before your Worſhip and the Jury, ſhe hath a C—large enough for the beggeſt mans P—in the Pariſh, at which they all laughed, and the Jury (for that ſhe was a handſom wench) fined her adverſary threeſcore pounds damage which was accordingly paid the Plaintiff.

That was honeſtly done of them, and is neer a kin to a paſſage I have heard of a fellow who helping a Gentlewoman on Horſe-back, ſlipp't his hand under her belly and tore a tufft of hair off her Commodity, waring it in a Bnavido in his hat; which her husband hearing of, ſu'd him for it, and it coſt him forty pounds for his frolick.

Well I am bound to tell a Tale or let a fart, therefore give ear to this following, concerning a Gentleman who had continu'd with a great deal of eagerneſs a ſuitor to a Gentlewoman, whoſe inciv • ities could not retract him, nor perſwaſions withdraw him, at length when nothing would ſerve his turn, ſhe uncover'd her breaſt naked, ranckled, rotted and corrupted, which he eſpying took leave of her, and never ſet eye on her after.

I believe neither of you two would have uncover'd your infirmities, in ſuch a Caſe, but for my part I conceive it lawful for men and women, to go naked, and were it cuſtomary as in preceding times, your enticing habits, perfum'd carkaſſes, and ſtately geſtures would be leſs in requeſt, both with your ſelves and other's, and fewer provocations to luſt and Lechery, which is ſeldom occaſion'd by a brown skin, a crook'd back or legs, or poor habit, but often by holland ſmocks, ſilk ſtockins, rich gowns and petticoats, with other coſtly garments, which cover your greateſt foulneſs and deformities: I have known many women, taken out of (their better part) their caſes would have been a loathing to themſelves and others, who otherwiſe were doted upon in their bravery.

Should you men, ſee all onr actions in a true, (and not a counterfeit) glaſs, we ſhould be the moſt diſpiſed wretches in the world, but we can order you in that point, as moſt of your Citizens Wives do their Coxcombs, who if they won't let them have their deſires and pride to boot, 'tis but diſſembling a tertain or quotidian ague, a burning feaver, or ſome other diſtemper, and their lying in ſhall coſt them more mony in Doctors viſits, Apothecaryes Bills, (who now and then cornute them into the bargain) Caudles, Potions, and Cock-broths, then if they had granted their deſires at firſt.

I am no ſtranger to thoſe tricks, for if I were, I ſhould have a better opinion of your ſex, then they have deſerved (the number of wicked women, being numberleſs) amongſt which number are Mr. Savage in white croſs-ſtreet, who broke her husbands head with a marrow-bone, and had like to have kill'd him with it, Mrs. Barron a fidlers wife, who uſ'd to comb her husbands head with a baſe viol, into which his head was ſtrick as if he had been in the Pillory, or got a ruff about his neck, Mrs Hewſon at the further end of White-chappel, a tearing Ranter, who is never quiet but when Clark the Hatband-maker in Hounſditch, is at work in her Saw-pit, and Mrs. Blakeſly, who notwithſtanding her husbands lawful and due correction, will tempt, Jack Hunt the Butcher in White-chappel, to make her husband a Cuckold: well if you think to have Francion I hear, and ſee coming Iu, you muſt behave your ſelf with more diſcretion, as a Chaundlers wife in Ab church lane, ſaid her husband did her.

Prithee Cuſman keep thy breath to cool thy pottage, but ſtick cloſe to us in our new found Plots; Mounſieur Francion, truly devoted of your ſervants ſalutes you, and rejoyces at your appearance, why ſo long abſent from her ſo deerly loves you, why at ſuch a diſtance from her whoſe life and fortunes lie and truckle at your foot-ſtood, whoſe preſence is my life and abſence death.

Thy company's no leſs to me my ſweetheart, my deer, and my beloved one, of whom I le ſay:

That you have gain'd Julietta is no news, I would adviſe you Sit to marry her, you may meet with a ſlut, and that's worſe then a whore, but ſhe hath vow'd chaſtity for the future.

I can aſſure that to be true, that ſhe's reſolved to turn if you l marry her.

I thought I had remov'd all ſcruples in that point, is the motion of your mentioning Julietta?

Truly ſir, I am very weary of this life, and would gladly turn, would you let me be devoted wholly to your ſervice.

'Tis no ſleight Queſtion to anſwer, much more to execute, ſo that you muſt pardon me in that Point.

Why then you muſt allow her a yeerly revenue to maintain her for your ſelf, and keep her in her quondam Equipage and gallantry.

There's all the reaſon in the world for't, what would not ſome men give for a dainly bit in a corner, the forbidden fruit is ſweeteſt.

Well what's your demands, what will maintain her from the ſcourge of neceſſity, come ſpeak out or let Magdalena do't for you, but marry I may not.

Sixty Pounds a year is as little as can be to maintain her honeſty and bravery.

Well, provided ſhe layes no claim's to marriage with me, I'le ſettle 50 Pounds per Annum Durante vita.

Come ſhe ſhall do't, Ile be her Advocate, fill us ſome wine to ſeal the bargain.

Content till our next days meeting.