Silence in the Court, not a word amonst us three confederates, but what's spoken under the Rose, it is not fit to let Francion go off thus for 135 pounds; wee'l make him marry thee Julieta, or make thee a good joyn­ture all thy life time; Hee'l believe all to be Gospel that we say, whilst we agree in one and the same Tale, he won't be long absent from us, therefore lets be fore­warn'd and fore-arm'd against his coming.

The project will hit doubtless, we have such a grand earnest of his folly before-hand, 'tis but making him believe shee'l turn and be honest ever after, which if it were not so, you know Cuckolds have the best luck, for my part, I wish I were the richest Cuckold in Europe: Ju is not overworn, therefore not past turning, and a good two leav'd book left to look in still.

Ay, and a good fat A—too thou mayst lay thy lips on't but 'tis customary here to receive mony with wives, (who like light gold will not pass without al­lowance,) but give mony for wenches, and that hee'l do I warrant yee, wee'l make thee a President for others to imitate and follow: what must matrimony be made a matter of mony where there's a dainty Cunny? I'le make him believe she hath as many suitors as there are days in the year, to make him more zealous of cozening his [Page 4] orrivals should such an Amazonian beauty, accomp­lisht with such transcendant endowments both of body and mind, proportion'd with such equal parts, enrich'd with Silver and Golden habiliments, be parted, with at an easy rate, so, as to make a slave her master, or a ser­vant her Commander.

My very teeth water at the Contrivance, if it falls right, expect I will reward you both out of his estate, 'tis but his believing that I will be honest after all my Lusts and Lechery, and that's all one to a fool; for what the eye sees not the heart rues not, I shall not be the first where that has turn'd honest, in the flower of her age, 'tis but your getting another to supply the place during my absence, for common Jades (such as Mal. Savory, Honor Brooks, and Nan. Jones,) are nu­merous enough, and will sit with their leggs spread over the sides of a chair with their petticoates and smocks in their mouths, whilst their Comrades run a tilt at their touch holes in that posture, paying twelve pence a time for holing; and for his part and mine we have taken a sure course to try each others abilities before-hand; we shall not fear commencing of Law-suites for want of due benevolence, or for being unpenetrable, yet Ile have him sign and seal these following Articles for an Assu­rance of his future Affections, viz.

Inprimis, That I Mounsieur Francion do freely, and willingly settle 300 l. per annum upon julietta, for and during her life time.

Item, That I will allow her a Coach and four Horses, with Attendants answerable.

Item, That I wont be jealous of any man's coming, or visiting her, of what Quality, Rank or Condition whatsoever.

[Page 5] Item, That I will allow her a Lusty Black, to hold up her train whilst she walks from room to room.

Item, That she shall have free liberty to make choise of her own Chamber-maids, and others belonging to the family, and chuse a-new every month, if they do not keep close their chaps, what ever they do with their legs.

They are singular ways to provide horns for his head, but I would not wish you to stand upon such Iunctilios, if he will but marry thee Ju, for if he should deny to let thee have thy will and pleasure af­terwards, 'tis but taking a touch or two with a Councel­ler, (who freqently takes his fees that way, if his Client be handsom,) and hee'l sue him for Alimony, and make him maintain thee out of his Estate in spite of his teeth, and then play the where under his nose as many brave lasses have done before thee, and he shall not help himself, whereof we have a thousand Presidents of women running from their husbands, and chusing other Stallions for their Guardians, as appears by a late Treatise emituled the Trapp [...]n, written by Mr. Vernon in the case of Goodwin the Dyer, &c.

Thou hast done well to satisfy me so cleerly, Ile follow the example of yong Starky the Hosiers wife, who receiving some seeming abuses from her husband, (when the major part of her Portion grew due) ranaway from him, carrying all his bonds, bills, Goldwatch, Jewels, Rings, &c. suing him for mainten­ance, as he found by woful experience, and the leaving off of his trade, under the pretence of his having the Pox.

I shall tell thee of another way besides that, if [Page 6] thou hast a mind to make him run mad; take a hand­som Gentleman usher to satisfy thy Luxury, and please thy lechery, into the house, love and lie with him and hate thy husband, lie naked in the bed rather then have thy smock sow [...]d to his shirt, when thou wouldst under pretence of rising to piss, or going to a close stool, go to bed with thy Gentleman-usher, and if he be angry, call him rogue, raskal, and jealous Cuckeld; and if that fayls comb his head with a joint stool, or break his pate with a Bed-staff, and it will cool his courage quickly.

Thou'rt a prime Tutor indeed, if thou hadst but a whore to match thee, for to read a Lecture in a two-leav'd book, thou hast evermore had a natural propensity to, as to venery, and knowst how to ride post to the Devils Mansions; for I dare swear there's scarse a rule in all Aretines Postures, but thou hast it ad unguem, readier then thy Pater Noster; for thy zeal, (like Harry Martins with the Beggar Wench, Thom. Scots with the Bonelace-wench of Wickham, and Hugh Peters when the Butcher cudgel'd the 5 pounds out of his Carkass for lying too neer his Brindle) is lockt up in a Down-diddle more then honesty, yet I like thy merry devices.

Every man to his trade, as the Rat-trap­maker said to the Parson, be sure I have not my name Gusman, an old beaten soldier for nothing: I have told, Ju, a woman will have her will, and you are not to seek in that point, Im'e sure on't.

Thou say'st very true, good wits wll jump together, as thou didst with my Cousin, but me­thinks we are grown huge modest in our debates be­wixt each other, but I wonder Francion tarries all this, [Page 7] while, I wish we had so me pleasant tale, told to drive away the tedious night.

Rather then want, I would invent a story, but this I shall tell you stands upon record, is very true, and was try'd at Salisbury Assizes of a bouncing Girl, who was courted by a neighbor whom she did not fan­cy: this yong Enamorato out of spight, reports she had no C—and scarce a pissing place; a second suitor en­gages her affections, but upon noise of the rumor relin­quishes her; a Crafiy Lawyer (as most of that function are) tells her he would sue this slaunderer in her behalf, and demand nothing till Recovery, to which she assen­ted, the party being arrested the suit was shortly brought to tryal, where a Jury of women were sum­moned (not men) to search her, who upon demand from the Judge, what they had to say in the business, one of the eldest Matrons answer'd that she had a good thing (meaning the maid, not her self,) the Judge told her that was not enough to satisfy the Jury, she must speak broader and plainer? Why, then (quoth she) she hath a very good commodity: I tell thee again wo­man thou must speak plain; why, then if I [...]ust I will, and will swear it again and again, before your Worship and the Jury, she hath a C—large enough for the beggest mans P—in the Parish, at which they all laughed, and the Jury (for that she was a handsom wench) fined her adversary threescore pounds dam­age which was accordingly paid the Plaintiff.

That was honestly done of them, and is neer a kin to a passage I have heard of a fellow who helping a Gentlewoman on Horse-back, slipp't his hand under her belly and tore a tufft of hair off her [Page 8] Commodity, waring it in a Bnavido in his hat; which her husband hearing of, su'd him for it, and it cost him forty pounds for his frolick.

Well I am bound to tell a Tale or let a fart, therefore give ear to this following, concerning a Gentleman who had continu'd with a great deal of eagerness a suitor to a Gentlewoman, whose inciv [...]ities could not retract him, nor perswasions withdraw him, at length when nothing would serve his turn, she unco­ver'd her breast naked, ranckled, rotted and corrupted, which he espying took leave of her, and never set eye on her after.

I believe neither of you two would have uncover'd your infirmities, in such a Case, but for my part I conceive it lawful for men and women, to go na­ked, and were it customary as in preceding times, your enticing habits, perfum'd carkasses, and stately gestures would be less in request, both with your selves and o­ther's, and fewer provocations to lust and Lechery, which is seldom occasion'd by a brown skin, a crook'd back or legs, or poor habit, but often by holland smocks, silk stockins, rich gowns and petticoats, with other cost­ly garments, which cover your greatest foulness and deformities: I have known many women, taken out of (their better part) their cases would have been a loath­ing to themselves and others, who otherwise were do­ted upon in their bravery.

Should you men, see all onr actions in a true, (and not a counterfeit) glass, we should be the most dispised wretches in the world, but we can or­der you in that point, as most of your Citizens Wives do their Coxcombs, who if they won't let them have [Page 9] their desires and pride to boot, 'tis but dissembling a tertain or quotidian ague, a burning feaver, or some o­ther distemper, and their lying in shall cost them more mony in Doctors visits, Apothecaryes Bills, (who now and then cornute them into the bargain) Caudles, Po­tions, and Cock-broths, then if they had granted their desires at first.

I am no stranger to those tricks, for if I were, I should have a better opinion of your sex, then they have deserved (the number of wicked women, being numberless) amongst which number are Mr. Sa­vage in white cross-street, who broke her husbands head with a marrow-bone, and had like to have kill'd him with it, Mrs. Barron a fidlers wife, who us'd to comb her husbands head with a base viol, into which his head was strick as if he had been in the Pillory, or got a ruff about his neck, Mrs Hewson at the further end of White-chappel, a tearing Ranter, who is never quiet but when Clark the Hatband-maker in Hounsditch, is at work in her Saw-pit, and Mrs. Blakesly, who not­withstanding her husbands lawful and due correction, will tempt, Jack Hunt the Butcher in White-chappel, to make her husband a Cuckold: well if you think to have Francion I hear, and see coming Iu, you must behave your self with more discretion, as a Chaundlers wife in Ab church lane, said her husband did her.

Prithee Cusman keep thy breath to cool thy pottage, but stick close to us in our new found Plots; Mounsieur Francion, truly devoted of your servants salutes you, and rejoyces at your appearance, why so long absent from her so deerly loves you, why at such a distance from her whose life and fortunes lie and [Page 10] truckle at your foot-stood, whose presence is my life and absence death.

Thy company's no less to me my sweet­heart, my deer, and my beloved one, of whom I le say:

That you have gain'd Julietta is no news, I would advise you Sit to marry her, you may meet with a slut, and that's worse then a whore, but she hath vow'd chastity for the future.

I can assure that to be true, that she's resol­ved to turn if you l marry her.

I thought I had remov'd all scruples in that point, is the motion of your mentioning Julietta?

Truly sir, I am very weary of this life, and would gladly turn, would you let me be devoted wholly to your service.

'Tis no sleight Question to answer, much more to execute, so that you must pardon me in that Point.

Why then you must allow her a yeer­ly revenue to maintain her for your self, and keep her in her quondam Equipage and gallantry.

There's all the reason in the world for't, [Page] what would not some men give for a dainly bit in a cor­ner, the forbidden fruit is sweetest.

Well what's your demands, what will maintain her from the scourge of necessity, come speak out or let Magdalena do't for you, but marry I may not.

Sixty Pounds a year is as little as can be to maintain her honesty and bravery.

Well, provided she layes no claim's to marriage with me, I'le settle 50 Pounds per Annum Durante vita.

Come she shall do't, Ile be her Advocate, fill us some wine to seal the bargain.

Content till our next days meeting.