THE FIRST SVBJECT Teares of godly sorrow, or Devout Melancholy: wherein, a flexible disposition apt to weepe, imployeth those Teares in a sorrow for sin.
The sanctified Ejaculation to precede each severall meditation, and prayer.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation.
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
THE MEDITATION.
WHy art thou so full of heavinesse, Ps: 42.6 o my soule; and why art thou so disquieted within mee? What, nothing but teares? Nothing [...]ut sighs, and throbs of â trembling soule? Griefe without cause is madnesse; and without moderation it is hopelesse. I must [...]herfore looke into the cause, and hope it is [Page 2] Religion that raiseth this tempest. But let mee not erre in my judgment. Is my sin the cause of my sorrow? Or, doe not I rather adde to my sinne by the pretence of my ground? That teare of a faithfull soule which floweth from the conscience of evill, purifieth the conscience, and freeth from punishment. If the weight of my transgressions depresseth my soule, the comforts of the Crucified shall restore me to ioy, Oh, the first cause of my blubbered eye, was that which made our parents strive to hide them selves from the sight of our Creatour. Gen 3.8. Since that very offence, it hath beene a sin not to weepe: and yet too much weeping may be turned into sin. Teares are the effect of sin; and teares may be the actours of sin. Thus even our best actions have their pollutions: & our griefe for our offences may as well displease, as pacifie the offended Deitie. But surely I grieve for mine iniquities which have incensed my Creatour; & I sorrow because I can expresse noe more sorrow for my faults. Thus farre my passion, then, is religion: Ps. 56.8 Lu: 7.38. & my God shall put these teares into his bottell. Thus Mary Maydalene stood at the feete of my Saviour behind him weeping, washing his feete with her teares, and wiping them with the haires of her head. My sin is the ground of my shame; and my shame enforceth mee to come behind that Iesus, Ier: 9 1 [Page 3] whom Mary thus embalmed. O that my head were waters, & mine eyes a fountaine of teares that I might thus weepe day and night for the offences which I have committed! But doe not I slaunder my teares? Am I not mis-taken in the cause? God forbid. Noe cause can be so great as the greatnesse of my sinns; and yet even these may multiply when I most lament them. O my God, accept of the teares which I shed for my sinns: & sanctifie my sorrowes, that they turne not into offences.
Yet I find in the Scripture, other causes of laments. 2. King 20.5. Ier: 9.17. Thus the All-mighty not onely heard the prayers of Hezekiah, but saw his teares too, when hee pleaded for life. The Iewes were commanded to call for the mourning women; to make hast, and take up a wayling for them, that their eyes might runne downe with teares, & their eyelids gush out with water, because the voyce of wayling was heard out of Zion: the destruction of the lewes was hard at hand. Thus the Prophets eyes did faile with teares; Lam: 2.11.his bowells were troubled; his liver was powred upon the earth for tâe destruction of Ierusalem. This griefe arose from the sense of their sorrow, That the most high was prouoked by the sin of the prople. What the Iewes deser [...]ed may be my r [...] ward; and what Ierusalem expected, may be my heavy doome: for the fame God is offended with mee; and my sinns have merited the [Page 4] height of his vengeance. Yet the more I sin, the more hee spare's, expecting some measure of my sorrow for my boundlesse offences. O let my teares be his, by a gracious acceptance, as my sin is made his by his fathers imputation: for hee alone who wept in the garden can pleade my attonement, and by the power of his passion, restore mee to comfort. Incredulity in part did trouble the man in the Gospel, Mar: 9.14. whose sonne was Possessed with a devill both deafe and dumb: yet hee cryed out; and said with teares, Lord I believe, help my un-beliefe. Deafnesse, I find, doeth hang in mine eare too, even in the house of my God; for when mine attention is required to the words which distil from the mouth of the preacher, even then the poison of the serpent makes mee imitate the adder, refusing to heare the voyce of the charmer; Ps. 58.4 5. When I should counsaile my brethren; when I should publish the trueth; when I should confesse my sinns; woe is mee, the string of my tongue is knitt, Iam. 3.5. the dores of my lipps are sealed up; and though mine unruly litle member is active in the language of all impiety, yet it is stricken dumb with silence when it should publish mine enormities. Whence growe's this dumbnesse? whence this deafnesse? Lord, shouldest thou be so deafe to my cries, or dumb to my heart; I should never hope for the mercies of my Redeemer. But some faith thou hast given mee in the merits [Page 5] of his passion; doe thou increase it. The seede is thine; the planting is thine: Lord, let it flourish, that the advantage may be mine. Mar: 13 32. It is, as yet the least of all seedes; let it grow into a tree, that the birds, the birds of Paradise may nest in the branches. Thou hast planted it; 1. Cor: 3.6. my teares shall water it; doe thou give the increase to it. Something I apprehend; but it is but in a mist: Some thing I believe; but it is but dully, it is but imperfectly, it is but weakely; Lord I believe, help my unbeliefe. Mar: 9.24. O that my teares might be so sanctified, that my griefe might be a delight. I must, I will search, enquire, find out my secret crimes those snakes that lye hid under the greene leaves of my best, my glorious actions. I know that I am all sin, all corruption: and yet though I say that I know it, though I know that I know it; yet enough I doe not, I cannot know it. The more I prye into it, the neerer is mine cye drawne to a narrownesse: the more I pore upon it, the sooner is mine eye tired into a dulnesse. Each part, each member is either an abettour, or an actour of sin. What then shall I doe? Teares I can shed; but it is rather through the disposition of nature, then the operation of grace. I will weepe therfore, because I am so apt to grieve, when my corruption is not truely the ground of my griefe. I will punish mine eyes with teares for shedding so many teares not grounded [Page 6] on a sorrow for my wickednesse. Now the spunges are full, my sinns shall squeeze them. Now my windowes shall be brightened with the brine, with the lye of my teares. Come, I must mourne, for I have found the cause, the ground of all religious griefe, which I am ashamed to owne. Ps: 6.6. Now, with David I will crie until I am weary of my groaning: every vight will I wash my bed, and water my couch with my teares. 1. Sam: 30.4. With David againe, and the prople that were with him, pondering upon their losse at the spoiling of Ziklag, I will lift up my voyce and weepe untull I have noe more power to weepe. Iob 30.31. Now, with the man of miseries, the patient Iob, my harpe shall be turned into mourning, and my Organe into the voyce of them that weepe. C: 16.16.My face shall be fowle with weeping; and on mine eye lids shall sit the shadow of death. Now with David againe, 2. Sam. 12.22. While the child is yet alive, the child of corruption, the monstrous, spurious, abortive bratt of sin is alive with in mee, I will fast & weepe, but in a contrarie hope to that indulgent father, I will cry, who can tell whether God will be gracious to mee, vers. 22 that the child may not live; or if it live, it may but linger, but languish, but despaire of strength, or health, or life? Thus I pine: thus I grieve; & yet, mee think's I am ashamed that I doe so: I am troubled that I am thus troubled. Well; if mine eye be offended with the motes, with [Page 7] the dusts of sin that fly into it, I will wash it with it's owne water. If my face blush at the punishment of the eyes, because it is childish thus to cry, I will confesse it, I will acknowledg it: thus every child, every child of my God doe's cry, must cry. And if all this force not shame into my bashfull cheeke, for blushing at my teares, then (with that good king Hezekiah) I will turne my face to the wall; but I will still weepe, and weeping (that my teares be not spilt, be not lost, be not shed in vaine) as that King, 2. King 20.3. so my selfe (though the meanest, though the worst of subjects, of slaves) will pray, and praying I will say.
The Prayer.
GReat God, who on the second day of thine owne labour didst create a firmament in the midst of the waters, Gen: 1.6. so now, in thy mercy, put a distinction in the waters that flow from my troubled eyes. O let heaven divide betweene them, that those which dwell in the cloudes for the sinns I have committed, may be distinguished from those that arise from sin. By thy servant Ezekiel thou complainest of Ierusalem, that she was not salted at all. Lord, Eze: 16 4. I am salted in the brine of my teares: ô let me be preserved in the love of thee my Creatour. The causes of my griefe, are the offences [Page 8] I have committed: that a God so great, should be incensed by a worme; that a God so good, should be dishonoured by a miscreant. Thou art my God, though offended: thou shalt even be my God, though thou art now displeased. I have hope of pardon while I continue thine, although I cannot choose but sin against thee, who art so lovingly mine. The heathens themselves did sacrifice to their Gods. They had many; I have but one. To thee that one, that holy one doe I offer what thou doest require, a heart; as thou doe [...] require it, broken; but not so sanctified not so cleansed as it ought to be: Lev: 2.13. Yet it is offered with salt, as thou requirest; even with the salt of my teares. Dan. 9.19.O Lord heare; ô Lord have mercy; ô Lord in mercy receave the cries, the groanes, the teares that flow from this burnt, this broken offering. These teares are the blood of a penitent soule: for the blood of thy Son receave in mercy. Num. 20.11. The rock of my heart hath beene smitten with thyrod, from whence doe issue these springs of waters. Lord doe thou even water my teares with the deaw of thy grace, and mollifie my heart by the strength of thy power, that both heart, and eyes, Io: 17.6 and teares may be thine. Thine they were; and thou gavest them mee. Thine they are; I give them thee. O let this rock, this heart be an altar; these eyes the priests; and these teares the sacrifices acceptable unto [Page 9] thee, my Lord, and my God. My heart is the censour and my sighs and groanes the incense: Io: 20.28. doe thou buth adde a sweetenesse thereto, and so shall it allay the stricktnesse of thy fury. My sinns, ô God, have dwelt in mine eyes; but now I have made them drunke with my teares. Thus let mee ever weepe: thus let mee ever grieve. It is a joy, to be thus sorrow full: it is a comfort, to be thus distressed. Lord in every part, in every crumb of this broken heart, I find thy mercifull, thine in dulgent selfe. In every sigh, 1. King 9.12. in every groane I perceave that thou my Lord art in it a soft wind. In every teare that trickleth from mine eyes thou hast a luster, thou hast an habitation. O let mee ever thus live in thy favour. Let all my griefe be for offending thee; Ps. 42.3 Ps. 6.6. Ps. 80.5 Ps. 104.9. and all my sorrow be for thy displeasure: So shall my teares (with David) be my meate, my drinke, my bread, my bath, my onely joy and delight, because thou takest a delight there in. But ô thou who hast prescribed bounds to the seas, which they cannot passe, neither turne againe to cover the earth; so limit these brackish seas by the power of thy grace, that they may neither sinne by excesse, nor offend in the cause. Put them into thy bottle, Ps. 56.8note them in thy booke. In thy mercy, Mat. 26.38. finish soone these dayes of sinne, that by the merits of him that was sorrowfull in the garden, Rev. 7.17.all teares may one day be wiped from mine [Page 10] eyes; all sorrowes expelled, & driven from my heart; & my soule may be receaved into the quire of Saints; there to live, and reigne with thee, world without end, Amen.
Teares from the heart. THE SECOND SVBJECT.
The Soliloquie consisting of three parts: viz. • 1 The wickednesse of a corrupted heart. , • 2 A Lamentation for the losse of an honest heart. , and • 3 Griefe for an old and sinfull heart & an earnest desire of a righteous new one.
The first part. The wickednesse of a corrupted Heart.
THE EjACULATION.
1. Give eare to my words, O Lord consider my meditation.
2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
THe heart is deceitfull above al things, and desperately wicked; Ier: 17.9. who can know it? saith God by his Prophet. What is here? A heart? Adeceit full heart? A heart deceitfull above all things? A wicked heart? Desperately wicked? A heart inscrutable? Lord, surely [Page 12] this is the just description of my heart, if yet I have any; if I have any at all: for 't is a doubt whether I have one or not. It is said of Ephraim, Hos: 7.11. that shee was like a silly Dove, without heart: Surely so am I too; not for the innocency, but the simple folly of the Dove; for (like Ephraim too) I have fled from my God. vers. 13 But why should I be so simple, as to thinke that I have noe heart? Doe not I feele one with in mee? Yes sure; for my meate comfort's it, Gen: 18.5. Pro: 14.30. Ps: 38.19. as Abraham desired the Angells to doe by theirs. I have a sound heart which is the life of the flesh. I know I have one; for (like Davids) it panteth; I can feele it beate; and that's a good signe that I have one. I know too, by the passions which I have in it; for I am subject to joy, and sorrow; to love, and batred; to feare, and courage, to hope and despaire: I have the seede's of all the vertues, and vices in mee: I have an understanding too, a will, and imagination, and what not which others are endued with? Why then doe I complaine that I have noe heart, when as this very complaint ariseth from my heart? Alas I have a heart indeede, the heart of a woman: But I want a heart yet, a better heart, the heart of a Christian, What's this heart to mee; this poore, inconsiderable heart, which nature lend's mee? T'is but a morsel of thick, solid flesh, placed in the midle belly; the seate indeede of the vitall [Page 13] faculties; the heart that preserveth the heate of the body; the spring head of the arteries, the chiefe author of breathing, and working of the pulse: a poore thing, which nature was feint to take such compassion of, as to wrap it in clowtes, in a caule, that it might lye quiet in it 's place, and be kept from the violence, and pressures of the neighbouring members. Yea, shee's feint to dip this caule too in a kind of waterish humour, and wrap it about this heart, least the litle trifle should be so hot, or dry, that it should fall into a swoone. What s' all this to mee, as I am a Christian? This poore thing shall have but a litle time to lye panting in my breast, and then, though it be the eldest enlivened member, and shall linger, and out-live all the rest; yet at length it shall faint, depart, away it shall goe and make a pleasant collation for the wormes in the with-drawing chamber, in the coole vault of my silent grave; and so, even fare them well. But what then? Is this all? The very beasts have such a dispatch; and when they are gone, there's noe more expectation of sense, or any thing else. Surely I who am placed upon earth, as a kind of mistresse over the inferiour creatures, must one day render some account to my Lord who hath thus intrusted mee. When I die, I must goe to another place: Either I must be doomed to eternall miserie; or else receaved and admitted [Page 14] to unspeakeable, and everlasting content. I am not all flesh: I am some spirit. God hath not confined mee to those narrow bounds of vegetation, and sense. Noe; hee hath added reason to them, and made mee a woman, so that, although I have a heart common with the beast, according to sense, yet I should have another heart too; a heart a bove either them or that; 1. Pet. 3 4. Deut. 11.16. Rom. 10.10. c. 2.15. Deut: 29.4. 1. Thes 3.13. 2. Sam. 24.10. Deut: 29.4. I have a reasonable soule, a mind, an understanding, a conscience; and each of these in the scripture is termed a heart: but this, o this is that heart which I feare I want: Want it? Yes I so want it, that either I have it not at all, or if I have it, it is such a one, as 'tis worse for mee, farr worse then if I had none at all. But I have none indeede. The Lord hath not given mee an heart to perceave, nor eyes to ser, nor eares to heare unto thit day. When I pray, I have none: when I reade the sacred oracles of the most high, I have none: when I goe to the temple, and should attend to the instructions of the ambassadours of Christ, I have none: when I should put in practise, what hath arrived at my knowledg, I have none: when I should confer, & discours of God and goodnesse, I have none: none at all: none in the church; none in my closet, nor in the society of the godly: at noe time; in noe place; upō noe good occasion can I find that I have any. Or if I have one I had as good be without it; for 't is a dry one: for want of watering it [Page 15] with my teares, I find that 't is smitten down, and withered like grasse. Or 't is dead or at lest, Ps: 102 4. just dying; at the last gaspe. I have beene drunke with wickednesse, very drunke, as Nabal was with wine at his kingly feast: but now I begin to grow a litle more sober, and recollect my selfe, 1. Sam: 25.36. vers 37 Mat: 13 15. Ps: 119.70. Iam: 5.5. Io: 3.19 c: 9.39. I find that my heart (like his, upon the newes which his wife tould him) even dyes within mee, and I am become as a stone. Or if it be yet alive, 't is a fatt one; 't is waxed grosse, 't is as fatt as grease 'tis nourished as in the day of slaughter; so that through the unweildines of it, and through the destruction approaching it, I had better be without it. Or else 't is a blind one, for it loveth darknesse rather then light, because the deedos there of are evill: so that, if it could have seene, it is now stark blind. Or if it be not blind I am sure that I am blind; I can see none of it. Hos: 13 8. 'T is true, the reason of it is, because there is a caule growe's over it, and I have noe body to help mee, as Ephraim had, to rend the caule off it, that so I might see. 1 King. 8.38. Or else it is an infected one; 't is visited with the sicknesse, with the plague, and yet I doe not know the plague of mine owne heart, or else it is wicked, & so wicked, that (like unto Shimei) I cannot learne, c: 2.44. I doe not know all the wickednesse that mine heart is privie to: and if it bee thus wicked, Pro: 10.20. I have but small comfort from King Salomon; for hee tell's mee, that the heart of the wicked [Page 16] is litle worth. So that whether my heart be dry or dead, or fatt, or blind, or hidden, or infected with the plague, or wicked, what am I the better for it? Nay, am I not farre worse, infinitely worse rather? And yet now I thinke upon it, now I examine my selfe a litle better, I have just none at all. True it is that once I had one; but may I not say as the Prophet did, that whoredome, Hos: 4.11.and wine, and new wine have taken it away? 'T is stollen away; sin hath stollen it quite away unawares of mee, just as Iacob stole away un awares to Laban or as Absalom stole away the hearts of the men of Israel from his father,Gen. 31.20. 2. Sam. 15.6.when they came to the King for judgment. Alasse, I should have kept it in deede, I should have kept it with all diligence, if I had taken the advise of the wise King Salomon, Prov. 4.23. 1 Thes. 3.13. 2 Thes. 2.17. Heb: 13 9. Deut: 20.3.for out of it are the issues of life. I should have established it; or have beg'd of God, that hee would have established it unblameable in holinesse; that hee would have established it in every good word, and worke; for it is a good thing that the heart be established with grace. I felt it fainting when I feared, & trembled, and was terrified: and then I should have had a David to comfort mee, and to say unto mee, Ps: 31.24. Be of good courage, and God shall strengthen thine heart, thou that hopest in the Lord. I should have spoken kindly to it, as Shechem did to Dinah, Gen: 34 3. when his soule clave unto her, and he loved the damosel, and spake [Page 17] kindly to her, to her heart. Prov. 27.9. I should have rejoyced it (as Solomon say's) with oyntment, and perfume, with the oyntment of my teares, Rev. 5.8. Iud: 19 5. and a golden violl full of such odours as St. Iohn speaketh of, which are the prayers of the saints. I should have comforted it, not with a morsell of bread, as the Levite was advised by the father of his concubine; not of, or from, or by my selfe: but I should have prayed unto God, 2. Cor. 1.3.even the father of our Lord Iesus Christ (as S. Paul did thank him for the Corinthians) the father of mercies, and the God of all comfort, vers. 4. to comfort it in tribulations; that I might have beene able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith I my selfe had ben comforted of God. It was grieved with in mee,Ps: 73.24.and I was pricked in my reines. But I should have made it like Aaron at the sight of Moses, who was glad in his heart: Exod: 4.14. Ps: 4.7. or else I should have prayed to the Lord to have put gladnesse into it, as he did into David's, more then in the time when the corne and wine increased. But now, alasse, 't is too late: my poore heart is gone, 't is stollen away from mee: what shall I doe to recover it againe? I will arise now, Cant: 3 2.and goe about the citty; in the streetes, and in the broad wayes I will seeke it: vers. 3. I will say to the watchmen that goe about the citty, Saw yee a heart, a poore distressed heart passe by this way, that is runne a stray from mee, & I, poore I, know not where to find it? Alasse 't is not worth [Page 18] any one's taking up: 't is not worth the keepinge, I'le describe it unto you, that if yee heare of it, of such a heart, or happē to meete it, yee may send it mee home againe, and I may give it due correction for playing the vagrant, the run-agate.
That heart which once did dwell in my breast, is the most unthankfull guest that ever was harboured in the bosome of a woman. It is the greate accuser of my selfe, for mine offences: and not content with that, having arraigued mee for my sinns, it hath condemned mee as guilty. Ier: 17.9. It is a cozening, deceitfull heart; it is deceit full above all things, and desperately wicked, even more then I can know: & full it is of tricks, full of delusions; there are many devices in it. Prov: 19.21. Ps: 38.8 Ps: 64.6 Ps: 101.4. It is a troublsome heart, in so much as many times I have roared by reason of the disquietnesse of it. 'T is a deepe heart, & not easily pryed into: both my inward thoughts, & my heartit selfe have beene very deepe. It is a fro [...]ard heart, so froward that now 'tis runne away frō me, Zech: 8.17. Mar: 15 19. 'tis departed. It is an evill heart, a heart that was always imagining evill, and so greate evill, that out of it have proceeded evill thoughts, murders adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witnesse, & blasphemies. Gen 8.21.6.5. Iob 27.6. It hath beene evill even from my youth: every imagination of the thoughts of it were onely evill continually. It is a reproaching heart, not like unto Iob's, who sayd His heart should not smite him, so long as hee lived. It [Page 19] is a troubled heart: Ps: 25.17. Ier: 4.19.the troubles there of have bene enlarged, in so much as I have beene enforced to cry out, My bowels, my bowels; I have beene pained at it, it made a noise in mee, that I could not hold my peace: Lam: 1.20. my bowells have beene troubled, for my heart hath beene turned in mee. 'T is a cowardly, trembling heart; Deut. 28.65. I had an extreame trembling at it, when it was at home; and failing of eyes, and sorrow of mind: it would tremble like Elies for the arke of God. 1. Sam. 4.13. Deut: 28.28. c: 11.16. 2. Sam: 24.10. 1. Chr. 12.33. Ps: 12.2 Iam: 4.8. Dan: 5.21. Exo. 4.21. Heb: 3.8. Rom. 2 5. Pro: 28 14. Mar: 16 14. Eph: 4.1 [...]. It would so grievously tremble, that I have beene smitten with madnesse and blindnesse, and astonishment of it. It is an idolatrous heart, a heart apt to be deceaved, & to turne aside, & serve other Gods then the great Lord of heaven, and Earth, and to worship them. It is a quarrellsome, a fighting heart; a heart that (like Davids) hath often struck, often smitten mee. It is a double heart, a dissembling heart, a double minded heart. It is a heart like a beasts, like Nebuchadnezars, when hee was driven from the sonnes of men, and his heart was made like the beasts. It is a hard heart, hardened like Pharao's; like the Israelites in the day of provocation: a hard, and impenitent heart, that treasured up unto it selfe wrath against the day of wrath, and revelation of the righteous judgment of God: a heart that was hardened, and fell into mischiefe: a hard, and unbelieving heart: a heart alienated from the life of God through ignorance, by reason of the hardnesse there of: and like that of the Israelites, [Page 20] it is both a hard, Eze. 3.7. Iob 41 24. Ier. 5.3 Ez: 3.9. and an impudent heart. It is a heart harder then the nether mill-stone; as firme as a stone, as hard as a rock; yea 't is as hard as an adamant even harder then the flint. Oh what a heart was this, and yet 't is runne away from mee, 't is gone: what shall I doe? I faine would weepe for the losse of it; but I cannot weepe without it. c: 24.23. The curse which was threatned to the Iewes, is fallen upon mee; I cannot mourne, nor weepe; I doe onely pine away for the losse thereof. But why should I grieve for the departure of a heart so dry, so dead, so fatt and so blind? Of a heart so hidden, so plagued, so wicked, and so condemning? Of a heart so deceitfull, so deluding, so trouble some, & so deepe? Of a heart so froward, so evill, so reproaching, and so troubled? Of a heart so trembling, so idolatrous, so smiting, and so double? Of a heart so beast-like, so hard, so unbelieving, and so inpudent? I consider, and acknowledge how wicked it is, & yet I am sorrie mee think's, that 't is gone. But am I sure that this sinfull heart is gone indeede? Or doe I but seeme to goe heart-lesse up & downe, seeking for that which hath bred this disturbance; Ah, I feare that I have it still with in my bosome; and yet I am fondly possessed with a feare that I have lost it. I may find it againe, too soone, to my sorrow; and upon a strickt enquiry, woe is mee, I shall find it a bout me at every turne. I may find it at my [Page 21] table, in every dish; and there 't is gluttonous: in a glasse of wine; and there 't is drunken, in filthy muck, and there 't is coveteous: in my bed; and there 't is lascivious: in mine apparell; & there 't is proud: in the wellfare of my neighbours; & there 't is envious: in a quarrell; and there 't is contentious: in the synagogues of Sathan; and there 't is idolatrous. Where can I looke; what can I behould that's naught, that's wicked; and not find my heart there? And why then all this complaining? All this seeking, and searching for it? Alas, Alas tis too bad to leave mee: 't is too wicked to runne from mee. From hence, shall grow my teares; even because I understand not my heart. It is with mee; but I know it not: it is within mee; but I understand it not: it torment's mee; and yet I am so stupid, that I feele it not: it is ready to bring mee to ruine; & yet I seeke not to prevent the danger. Lord how mad am I, thus to possesse, & yet not to believe that I possesse, a heart thus wicked, and yet not to believe that it is so wicked? What shall I doe? Nay, what wilt thou doe with such a heart as this? It dishonoureth thee: it corrupteth mee. From goodnesse it drive's mee; to wickednesse it leades mee. Whither soever I goe, whatsoëver I doe, it induceth mee to sin, & by consequence (without thine infinite mercies) to eternall damnation. In this desperate condition what shall I doe? Amend it I cannot; [Page 22] correct it I cannot; and yet be quit of it, be rid of it, I cannot. But why doe I give over the hope of its amendment, as if noe means were left to prevent my ruine? I must not distrust of the goodnesse of my God. My heart is dry; but by his assistance I will water it with my teares: It is dead; I will re-vive it with my teares: it is fatt I will make it pine with my teares: it is blind; I will open it's eyes with my teares: it is hidden; I will reveale it in my teares: it is infected; I will cure it with my teares: it is wicked; I will correct it with my teares: it is deceitfull; I will punish it with my teares: it is troublesome; I will quiet it with my teares: it is froward; I will still it with my teares: it is evill; I will better it with my teares: it trembleth; I will comfort it with my teares: it is idolatrous; I will rectifie it with my teares: it is quarelsome; I will tame it with my teares; it is double; I will single it againe with my teares: it is beast-like; I will new baptize it in my teares, it is hard; I will mollifie it with my teares: it is incredulous; I will make it faithfull by my teares: & it is impudent; I will make it blush with my teares. Or if these eyes be drie; or these teares but sew; or these few teares of too litle vallew to effect my desires; O thou who once in the fervency of thy devotion, in the depth of thine agouy didst seate as it were greate drops of blood, Luc: 22.44. which fell from thy body for the sinns of he world: o thou who [Page 23] in thy tender compassion seeing Mary at thy feete weeping & the Iewes about thee weeping for the deoeased Lazarus, didst groane in spirit, Io: 11.33. & weepe with the mourners; increase thou the teares of mine eyes for the sinns of my heart, & give them vertue by those teares which fell from thine; that I may weepe, and lament, and be sorrowfull for my corrupted heart; Io: 16.20. that so my sorrow may be turned into joy, Amen.
The second part Of the Soliloquie. A lamentation for the losse of an honest heart.
NOe paine can be compared to the paine of the heart: and cerrainly noe losse can be so great as the losse of the heart. What comfort then can I expect, can I find in any thing, who have lost my first, my best, my dearest heart? Once I had one; and w [...]e is to this time, where in I must say, I bad. Yes; I had, indeede I had, a heart, such a heart, so plyable a heart to all goodnesse, that I am enforced now, to my cost, to vallew it onely by the losse thereof. I was thē a field, Ps: 107 37. Io: 15.1 Luc: 8.21. a pleasant field, that yeelded my fruit with increase. Yea I was manured, ploughed, sowed, and harrowed by the best of husband-men, by God him self. The seede was the word of God: vers. 15 that seede fell on this ground, this good ground (for so I then [Page 24] was) and with an honest, vers. 15and good heart, having heard the word, I kept it, and brought forth fruit with patience: Sure I did; I brought forth fruit, good fruit; or else I am much deceaved. But why then, Gen: 3.18. doe I now lye fallow? Why doe I produce nothing but thornes & thistles, the curse of the earth? Heb: 6.8. 1. Cor. 3.9. Why nothing but thornes & briers, whose end is to be burned? I was in those dayes, ah I was Gods husbandrie: but since that time hee hath left mee off, & my ground is growne out of heart, quite out of heart; for hee would digge mee noe more; hee would plough mee noe more; hee would soyle mee noe more. But what is the cause of his anger? Wherfore did hee thus leave mee; thus forsake mee? Alas, the reason is too manifest: I would needes take the plough out of his hands. I would not suffer him willingly any longer to breake up the fallow ground of my heart: Ier: 4.3 but I my selfe would plough. And what is the effect? What is the event thereof? Nothing but miserie; nothing but woe: for I have ploughed wickednesse, Hos: 10 13.and I have reaped iniquity, and eaten the fruit of lyes. I would needes follow mine owne wayes, Deu: 22 10. and plough with an oxe, and an asse; with thoughts cleane, & uncleane; pure, and impure; ioyning them together; and therfore to my woe I find the words of King Solomon in mee most sadly ve rified, Prov. 21.4. Iob 4.8 that the ploughing of the wicked is sinne. And yet I, ahwretched I, doe still follow [Page 25] the plough: I plough iniquitie, and sow wickednesse; and yet, for all that, I looke not to reape the Same; but I expect, fondly I expect, a harvest of goodnesse; a croppe of blessings. Ps: 129.6. But now I find that those blessings doe wither even before they grow up. The mower, I find, vers. 7. cannot fill his hand with them; nor hee that bindeth up sheaves, his bosome. Neither doe they which goe by, say.vers. 8.The blessing of the Lord be upon you: wee blesse you in the name of the Lord. Oh, if God would but once againe take mee into his care, and husbandrie, Ps: 1.3. I might bring forth good fruit in due season, Then though I should goe on my way weeping, Ps: 126.6. yet I might beare pretious seede, & come againe with reioycing bringing my sheaves with mee. This I might doe, if hee would manure mee; if hee would dung mee, Lord, 1. Cor. 4.13. let mee rather be made as the filth of the world, & the off-scowring of all things, then not be manured by thee. Make mee to account all things but dung, Phil. 3.8.that I may winne thee; and that so winning thee, I may once againe be in heart; that I may have a heart; Deu: 5.29. even such a heart may be in mee that I may feare thee and keepe all thy commandements illway, that it may be well with mee for ever.
I had once a soft heart, like Iob; Iob 23.16. Eph. 4.32. 2. Chr. 34.27. for God made it soft; and the Allmighty troubled mee, I had a tender heart, apt to forgive: a heart that was tender, for I humbled my selfe before my God, like Iosiah, and rent my clothes, and wept [Page 26] before him. Hee did mollifie it, & made it fleshie: hee tooke the stonie heart out of my flesh, Eze: 11.19.& gave mee an heart of flesh; not givē to the flesh, to the fowlenesse, the filthinesse of the flesh; but such a heart of flesh as was flexible, soft, easie to be pierced: I could weepe, & lament for every sinne for every transgression which I had committed against my good God. It was a melting heart; it would melt like the hearts of the Babilonians, Is: 13.7. Ps. 22.14. when their destruction was threatned to be effected by the Medes: it would melt like waxe in the midst of my bowells. And well it might melt, for it would burne: it would burne within mee, like the hearts of the two disciples goeing to Emaus: Luc: 24 32. & yet this heart-burning was noe disease neither; but (as it was with David) when mine heart was hott within mee, then in my meditation the fire burned. Ps: 39.3 And well againe might it melt, into teares, for it was a mourning heart; Eccl: 7.4. Io: 16.6 it delighted to be in the house of mourning: it was full of sorrow as were the hearts of the disciples, when Christ had tould them of the persecutions, which they should suffer. I had greate thoughts of heart, Iud: 5.15. Ps: 119.161. such as were for the divisions of Reuben: a heart very awfull; for it stood in a we of the word of my God. This heart of flesh so soft, and tender; so mollified, and melting; so burning; so mourning; this sorrowfull, and thoughtfull heart, was so apt for any impression of goodnesse, that (like unto Solomon) I could find in it, 2: Sam. 7.27. I could find an aptnes [Page 27] in it to pray unto the Lord. Prov: 3.3. It was a writing table: God had written mercy, and trueth upon the table there of; and in more perfect characters too, then the Gentiles had, Rom: 2 15. I could shew the worke of the law written in my heart. It was a loving heart; Mat: 5.43. it would love my neighbour, and not hate mine enemies. It was a broken heart; and allthough 't was broken, yet was it whole; I could seeke the Lord, like Iehosaphat, 2 Chr: 22.9.with my whole heart. Yea this I could doe (as Abimelech sayd of himselfe, concerning his taking of Sarah, Gen: 20.5. Ps: 119.10. Abraham's wife) I could doe it in the integrity of my heart; & innocency of my hands, With this whole heart I could seeke the Lord; I could love him, I could believe, I could praise him. Deu: 4.29. c: 6.5. I could seeke him with all my heart, and with all my soule: I could love him; yea I could love the Lord my God with all my heart and with all my soule, & with all my might. I could believe (as Philip sayd to the Eunuch) I could believe, Act: 8.37. Ps: 9.1.even with all my heart. I could praise him all so: even with David, I could praise the Lord, with my whole heart. Ps: 119.80. This whole heart was sound too, as David prayed; even sound in the statutes of my God, that I might not be ashamed. This sound heart was single too; single even like those good servants, whom Saint Paul commandeth to be obedient unto them that are their masters according to the flesh, with feare and trembling, Ep: 6.5.in singlnesse of heart as unto Christ. Act: 2.46. I could eate my meate [Page 28] with gladnesse,Act: 2.46. Ps: 12.2and singlnesse of heart. It was not then my custome to speake vanitie unto my neighbour: to speake with flattering lips, or with a double heart. And though thus single was my heart, 1 King 4.29. yet was it noe small one: it was large: God had given unto mee, as unto Solomon, both wisedome, Ps: 119.32. Ps: 17.3and understanding, and largnesse of heart: and (like David) I did runne the way of his commandements, when hee had thus enlarged it, This large heart was a proved one too; for God had proved it, and Visited mee, and tryed mee, when I was purposed, that my mouth should not transgresse. Ps: 7.9. 1. Chr: 29.17. Ps: 26.2 It was tryed; tryed by my God, by my righteous God, which tryeth the hearts, and reines: even by him who tryeth the heart, and hath pleasure in uprightnesse: the very selfe same God did examine mee, and prove mee; hee tryed my reines, & my heart? And this loving heart; this broken, yet whole heart; this sound, and single heart; Ps: 101.2. 1. King 8.61. Act: 16.14. this large, and tryed heart was found perfect. I did walke with in my house with a perfect heart: it was perfect with the Lord my God, to walke in his statutes, & to keepe his commandements. It was an open heart; it was opened lke Lydia's, that I could attend to the things that were spoken by our Pauls. It opened so wide; or at least with sorrow it was so filled, that at length it broke. Ier: 23.9.Mine heart within mee (like unto Ieremiah's) was broken; all my bones did shake; I was like a drunken man; and like a man whom wine hath overcome. O full well too, it thē was [Page 29] with mee, even when my heart was broken; for it had beene stone, nothing but stone before; when neither promises, nor mercies; neither menaces, nor judgments could worke upon it. It had beene a stone, a three-cornerd stone, untill it pleased him, to breake it, who is the head-stone in the corner: the head-stone, Mat: 21 42. because the strongest in the whole building, sustaining the fabrick: The head-stone in the corner knitting, cimenting, and uniting together both the Iewes, and the Gentiles: 1. Pet: 2 8. The head-stone in the corner who is a stone of stumbling unto many, and a rock of offence; at which the Iewes tooke such offence, that they hurt them selves against this stone in the corner. Yet hee that was reiected by the Iewes, and scornfully under-vallewed, was unto mee a most skillfull, & excellent lapidarie: hee knew the stone of my heart; and at mine intreatie hee broke it, hee broke it in pieces. Yea hee wrought so powerfully in mee, that through the helpe of him I had learned to rent it; to rent my heart, Ioel: 2.13.and not my garments, and turne to the Lord my God. It was made an acceptable sacrifice to my God; for I had a broken spirit; a broken, Ps: 51.17.& a contrite heart, which hee will noe despise. Hee, hee is that great Iehouah, who is high, Ies: 57.15.and excellent, who inhabiteth eternitie, whose name is holy; who dwelleth in the high, and holy place; & yet with him all so that is of a contrite, & humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to [Page 30] revive the heart of the contrite ones. Hee it is, who hath promised that hee will not breake a bruised reede, Is: 42.3.nor quench the smoaking flaxe: but on the contrarie, Ps: 147 3. will heale the broken in heart, and bind up their wounds. By him who is thus high and excellent; by him who is thus full of compassion, as not to bruise the reede, nor quench the flaxe; by him who is thus infinite in mercy, that hee healeth those that are broken in heart; even by the same God, in testimonie of his love, was my stony heart broken. O it had beene an uncircumcised heart; Deut. 30.6. but afterwards the Lord my God did circumcise it, to love himselfe with all my heart, and with all my soule, that I might live. So open, so broken, so rent, so contrite, so circumcised it was, Act: 7.51. that I resisted not the Holy Ghost. Lord, what happie dayes did I then enioy, when my heart was thus qualified with goodnesse! When it was thus acceptable to my God! But now, alasse, 't is quite otherwise. That heart, that good heart of mine is gone, is lost, is polluted. Peradventure some anger had beene seated in my gall; but I laboured that it should not increase into a sin. Peradventure some joy was placed in my splene; but that joy howsoëver was chiefly in the Lord; and in my heart was carefully preserved the feare of his name. That heart was then the cabinet, the store house, the treasurie of wisedome, wherein were two with-drawing chambers, divided but by a partition, in [Page 31] which were placed the fountaines of lively blood; of life it selfe; even the life of grace, given by the liberall hand of the God of my life. But now (oh my poore heart) it hath forsaken this breast; this breast of a distressed forlorne woman; and in the roome thereof is crept into my bosome a heart so hard, that when I sinite my breast in my deepest sorrow, my very hand re-bound's by reason of the hardnesse of this rockie heart. Often have I heard people complaine of the stone in the kidnies, or the bladder: but I am enforced to a new complaint; even of the stone in the heart. O that my God would cutt it, and take this stone out of it: or else give mee such a potion of sorrow and contrition, that it might prove the most soveraigne saxafrage, to break this stone! A stone here is wich I can feele both by the weight, and the hardnesse there of; but what kind of stone I cannot determine. Surely it can be noe pomoise none of that stone which in some sort may be sayd to be even heavier then it selfe; because though when it is whole, it is full of pores, full of holes, very hollow, even as hollow as my heart; yet when it is broken in pieces, when it is stamped, and beaten to powder, it seemes to be more ponderous, then when it was whole. If such a one be in my heart, ô that my God would breake this heart: ô that hee would grind it, or beate it to powder; then peradventure it would be [Page 32] heavy for my sinns, and ponder mine iniquities. Or it may be that such a stone is in it, as those were which the Lord did promise that the Israelites should find in the land of Canaan; Deut. 8 9. even stones that were iron: for surely my heart is as hard as iron. And yet, though it be so, the patient Iob assureth mee that euen waters weare the stones. Iob 14.19. O that my God would cause the trickling of my teares to weare away the stone of my heart! Or if it be iron, ô that hee would cause it to swimme in the Iordane of my sorrowes as once Elisha caused the iron and steele to doe, 2. King 6.6. which were tempered together in the head of the are! When I feele for my good heart, oh, I cannot find it: but in the roome thereof is layd such a perverse one, that the edge of compunction cannot pieres it; pietie cannot mollifie it, intreaties cannot move it; threatmings cannot stirre it; and stripes cannot wound it. It is ungratefull, though never so much benefitted: it is unsaithfull, though never so much intrusted; it is refractorie, though never so much counselled. It is severe, when it judgeth; shamelesse, when it thinketh; and dreadlesse, when danger neerest approacheth it. It is churlish to the courteous, and loving onely to those that are wicked. It forgetteth what is past; neglecteth what is present; and provideth not for the time to come: and (to speake the trueth) it neither feareth God, Lu: 18.2.nor reverenceth man. Oh now had I but my [Page 33] good heart once againe, how would I cherish it; how would I preserve it! But, alasse, I feare that I wish too late; for it is fled, and I doubt that it will never be called back, never be sent mee home againe. For this losse, ô for this unspeakeable, this dreadfull losse. I will weep, and weepe, and nothing but weepe, untill my teares be multiplied into a river: Who knowes but that my litle Moses may be put into an arke, though but of bulrushes; Ex: 2.3 and be layd in the flags by the brinke of my river; & be found againe; and once more be delivered into my carefuller custodie? If so it should happen, how would I cherish it, ô how tenderly would I nurse it up in my bosome! Lu: 2.48. I must weepe for it, before I shall find it; and like unto Ioseph and Marie seeking my redeemer, I must seeke it sorrowing. I will seeke it in the night, in the night of my sorrow; and each teare upon mine eye-lids shall twinkle like a starre, and light mee to discover it. It is noe shame to grieve for soch a losse. A very Stoick would forget his stupiditie, and bemoane the losse of such a heart. This heart, which I have is none of mine. 1. King 3.20. The devill hath used mee as one harlot had done the other; hee hath risen at mid-night, and stollen away my live child, and layd his owne dead child in my bosome. But what now shall I doe? Where is Solomon to administer justice? I know that Sathan would be contented to have the child divided, that [Page 34] hee might have halfe; & then hee knoweth my Creatour will disdaine the other. But my God is the right owner of the living child, ô that hee would but intrust mee to nurse it, that this dead child might be cast out of dores. I would be contented the living should be divided even with a sword; Eph: 6.17. but that sword shall be the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God: & by this division the tempter shall be divided from mee. Act: 20 19. Saint Paul served God with all humilitie of mind, & with many teares. If I could but intreate this heart which I have, to be a litle humbled, it might peradventure dissolue into teares for the losse of my best. Why should not I endeavour in my mourning to follow the stepps of that blessed Apostle? Doubtlesse that sorrowfull convert did oftener write with his teares then his inke; and taught his paper to swell with those pearly dropps which fell from his eyes. When that Doctor of the Gentiles was bound upon a voyage, & intended to steere his course t [...] [...]erusalem, Act: 20 37. vers. 38 all the elders did sorely weepe, & fell on his neck, and kissed him, sorrowing most of all for those words which hee spake, that they, should see his face noe more. But when my Paul; my heart departed, I had noe such warning given mee: otherwise certainly wee should have had a very solemne farewell: wee should have had one shewer of teares; or, at least, have kissed at parting. But since with dry eyes wee forsooke [Page 35] each other, it shall not now be too late for me to weepe. Mat: 26 49. O that I could be admitted but to give it one kisse! It should not be like to that of Iudas to Christ: I would not seeke the betraying, but the preserving of it. But I w [...]sh in vaine for it heare's mee not. I sigh in vaine, for it approacheth not. Howsoever weepe I must; & sorrow. I must; & most of all for feare I see it noe more.
part 3 The third part Of the Soliloquie. Griefe for an ould and sinfull heart; and an earnest desire of a righteous new one.
VVHen Delilah was inquisitive to know where the strength of Samson lay, and hee had thrice deceaved her; Iud: 16.16. shee so pressed him with her words, and urged him that at length (as the text saith) hee tould her all his heart. vers. 17 Surely hee was either violently enamoured with her beauty, or wonderfuly transported with the love of his ease, that would tell all his heart to his enemie. What if my best friend that I have in the would; what if God should require the like at my hands? Should I doe it? Nay, could I doe it: Certainly I am afraid that, either I have noe heart; or (if I have one) that I doe not rightly know it; or (if I doe rightly know it) I suspect that I should be ashamed to confesse all the [Page 36] evil that is in it. When Solomon begged a guift of his sonne, that guift was noe more then what was truely a debt; and yet it was noe sleight one; Prov. 23.26. it was a heart; My Son give mee thine heart. I would to God that my father, my creatour, my God would say unto mee, as Solomon did to his sonne; that hee would call mee his child. But what if hee should? What if hee should all so call for my heart? As indeede hee doeth. What should I answer him? In the ould law, if an Israëlite had but touched an uncleane thing, Luc: 5.2.though it were hidden from him, yet hee was all so decreed uncleane. Certainly hee who would not suffer his people to touch what was uncleane, cannot himselfe accept of that which is uncleane. King Solomon speake's in generall, and send's the challenge to the whole world, in these words, Prov: 20.9. who can say, I have made my heart cleane, I am pure from sin? When I compare these places together, what can I think of my selfe? What can I imagine that God will say unto mee, when I bring him this heart? Assuredly I must needes expect that hee will cry out, as the people did by the garments, yea by the owners of the garments, the Priests of Sion, Depart it is uncleane; depart, depart. True it is that this heart which I have, Lam: 4.15. is full of wickednesse; full of iniquity: yea so full, that it sends back my prayers fruitlesse into my bosome; for the Lord hath assured mee [Page 37] by the mouth of his prophet, Ps: 66.18. that If I regard iniquity in my heart, hee will not heare mee. What now shal become of mee? If hee be not my God, where is my protection? Where are my hopes? If hee be my God, and I deny him what hee requireth, where then is my duty? Or how performed? If hee be my God, and I render him what hee requireth, and yet hee accepteth not what I render, what then shall become of mee? This heart is too had for him to accept of, who is goodnesse it selfe: It is too uncleane for him, who is purity it selfe: It is too base for him, who is excellency it selfe. Lord, how I doe waver in my thoughts; and what staggering doubts doe arise in my graoelesse heart! What course can I take; what meanes must I use to get a heast for him, which may be any way acceptable? Mine owne is too bad; and if I thinke to mend it of my selfe, I shall but botch it; I shall but make it worse. There is noe other way, but a new one I must have; and where, or how to get it, I know not. Nay, I have noe heart at all to seeke it. If the ould one would be good for any thing, I would willingly give that in part of payment; in exchange for a new one. But alasse, that will never be worth any thing, while it is a heart. Surely if I would have a new one, & a good one that is worth having, I must goe unto God for it; for hee alone is the creatour there [Page 38] of. To him therfore will I repaire? and humbly I will beseech him to create in mee, a new heart, Ps: 51.10.a cleane heart; and renew a right spirit within mee. If hee requireth a pledg for it, seeing that I have formerly falsified my promise what shall I doe? I have nothing worth it, to leave in the place of it: but I will howsoëver faithfully promise him that hee shall have it againe: and with that very heart I will promise, which hee shall spare mee. I will desire onely to borrow it; and but for a litle time; even for noe longer time then hee of his owne accord, shall be willingly pleased to spare it. Nay I will not so much as desire to call it mine: it shall be his still: I will begge that it may goe under his name: and if yet hee will not believe mee, I will put him in securitie; the best securitie that ever was, or is, or shall be; even his onely beloved Son. Why then should I not s [...] to him to graunt my desires, since neither my request is unreasonable, nor my securitie questionable? It is noe new thing, to sue to him for a new heart. Hee hath beene pleased to vouchsafe it to others. Thus hee promised to Israel, by the mouth of his prophet, Ez. 11.19. C. 36. saying I will put a new spirit within you. And in another place; A new heart allso will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you; and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, & I will give you an heart of flesh. Such ô such a heart, [Page 39] doe I begge of thee, ô my God. Such a new heart, such a fire new one I beseech thee to graunt unto mee, as may burne with zeale, for the honour of thy name. But what if I should not prevaile with my God for a new heart? It is all one with him to create a new, or to revive an ould one; and to mee it will allso prove of equall vallew. I will howsoever submitt to his pleasure. If hee give mee my dead one againe, restored to life, 1. King 17.20. as hee restored the sonne of the widow at the prayer of Elijah, I shall be as well contented, as if hee created a new one for mee: for all will be one. This allso hee can doe, if hee please: Is 57.17. for it is his custome to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones: But if it be re-vived, it must be washed, before it will be fitt to be presented unto him. And it must be washed by mee, the paines must be taken by my selfe: Ier. 4.14. for what hee sayd to Ierusalem hee speaketh unto mee; O Ierusalem wash thine heart from wickednesse, that thou mayst be saved: how long shall thy vaine thoughts lodg within thee? But when it is walhed, 2. pet. 2 22. it must not return againe, with the sow that is washed, to wallow in the mire. Noe, noe; it must goe forward in goodnesse, that so I may be able to speake as doeth the psalmist, and say, My heart is not turned back, Ps. 44.8neither have my stepps declined from thy way; And when I shall have such a heart, such a new heart, such a revived heart, such [Page 40] a washed heart a heart so forward to goodnes, then (I resolve) it shall be ordered constantly to looke up-wards to the donour, to the re-viver there of. If mine eyes looke upwards, surely mine heart shall not stoope downe-wards. The very herbs, and flowers teach mee this lesson: for they are noe sooner delivered from the wombe of the earth, but up-wards they grow and aspire; upwards they open; as if nature had dispatched them into the world, upon this very condition that they should gratefully looke upward towards the God of nature. This new heart I would have wholly devoted to the feare of the donour. Deu. 5, 29. Oh that there were such a heart in mee that I would feare him, and keepe all his commandements allways, that it might be well with mee for ever! I would have it both feare, and likewise love him too: 2. Thes 3.5. Prov. 16.1. I would have it directed to the love of him, and into a patient wayting for his sonne. And (for as much as the preparations or disposing of the heart in man, is from the Lord) I will begge of him so much of his grace, as that therewith I may sanctifie him in my heart, 1. Pet. 3.15, Ps. 86.11. even in that very heart. I would have it united unto him, that I might beare his name. Then shall this new heart, thus fearing and loving my Creatour, be disposed by him: it shall sanctifie him; and being united unto him, it shall ever be with him and allways be protected, and preserved by him. [Page 41] I would have my new heart to be a chamber of presence, a privie chamber, a bed chamber for the King of glory; 1. Pet. 3 4. Gal. 4.6 Ps. 27.8 that so hee may be hidden in mine heart. I would have the spirit of his sonne be sent into it, to teach mee to cry unto him, Abba, father: for this new heart, this infant heart, must be able to speake and not onely able but ready allso to speake; willing to answer; that so when God shall say, Seeke yee my face; Ps. 51.10.my heart, with David's, may be ready to answer, Thy face, Lord, will I seeke. I would have it to be cleane, cleane washed from the filthinesse of former offences; and purified, Act. 15 9. as were the hearts of the Gentiles. I would have it freed from the fowle opinions, thoughts, and desires, which hung like so many cobwebs in every corner thereof. I would have it cleane from all evill counsells, that it may performe a new obedience to my God. I would have it true too, as well as cleane; Hebr. 10.22. not onely sprinkled from an evill conscience, and my body washed with pure water, but I would have it true allso, that I may draw neere with it unto the Lord, in full assurance of faith. Prov. 19.8. I would have it wise to with-stand all evill motions, and affections because hee that getteth wisedome in heart, loveth his owne soule; and hee that keepeth understanding shall live. 1. King 3.6. I would have it upright, for so David (who was a man after Gods owne heart) walked before [Page 42] the Lord in trueth, and in righteousnesse. and in uprightnesse of heart: and then I shall be sure to have it defended; Ps. 7.10 for my defence shall be of God, which saveth the upright in heart. I would have it enlightened; 2. Cor. 4.6. I would have God, who commanded the light to shine out of darknes, shine in my heart, to give the light of the knowledg of the glory of God, in the face of Iesus Christ. 2. Pet. 1 19. I would have the day dawne, and the day starre arise in my heart: for onely such an enlightened heart can be able to perceave, Deu. 29 4.and cause mine eyes to see, and mine cares to heare: it is onely such a heart, that can understand; it was onely such a heart, as the wise, understanding King Solomon prayed for. 1. King 3.9. Ps. 86.11. Rom. 10.10. Dan. 7.9. O what a happinesse should I enioy, could I but prevail with God for such a heart! Such a heart as should be united to feare his name; that so, with it I might believe unto righteousnesse. Surely hee who is the ancient of dayes; hee who cryed by the mouth of his holy Euangelist, saying. Rev. 21 5. Behould I make all things new; even hee, and hee alone can thus renew, can give mee such a new, and good heart. It will not be new to him, though it be so to mee; for his it is of ould, though not mine, I looke for a new heaven, and a new earth, where in dwelleth righteousnesse; 2 Pet. 3.13. and I looke for it, according to his owne promise: but what good will that doe mee, unlesse my earth my heart be first made new; unlesse I have also a new [Page 43] heaven first in that heart; unlesse I have a new heart? Mat. 27 60. Christ was layed in a new tombe hewen out of a rock, where in never was any man lay before. My ould heart is a rock; as hard, as heavy, impenitrable as a rock: yet it exceedeth not the power of the All-mighty, even out of that rock to hew a new tombe, a tombe wherein the ould man never lay; and there (if hee please) hee can place my Iesus. I am like a lumpe of dough, Mat. 16 12. 1. Cor. 7.5.8. vers. 6. vers. 7. sowred with the leaven of the Pharisees; with the leaven of mallice and wickednesse; and alasse I know that a litle of that leaven leaveneth the whole lumpe: but hee can purge out that ould leaven, that I may be a new lumpe; but then I must moisten [...]t with my teares, and kneade it with contrition. And why should I not? Why should I not cry for such a heart? Why should I not begge, and intreate, and weepe, and mourne, for such a new heart? Children are apt to cry for every new thing which they see, or heare of. If God would be pleased to make mee his [...]hild, I should not neede to cry for such a new heart; hee would freely, and quickly give it mee. But yet certainly I must cry for it, before hee will give it. Teares are the counters by which my prayers, my desires must be numbered; even all my petitions which I tender unto him for a heart so new. In ancient times the Clepsydra's, or hower-glasses were not filled with sand, but water; and time was [Page 44] measured by the drops which fell from them. Thus must I measure my time too; even by the drops which fall from the glasse, from the chrystall of mine eyes, for my want of this heart. Though formerly I have beene so exceeding drie, as to measure with sand' yet now I must dissolve into an account by my teares. Surely such a heart as I pant for, is a most pretious jewell; and yet my God cannot choose but trust mee with it, if I sollicit him with my teares, in the name of his Sonne. Hee can even congeale my teares into orientall pearles, and so turne them into jewells; and having heightened the vallew of those precious pearles, for them hee can lend mee that heart which I sue for. I desire but the loane of it. I would not, for all the world, have it wholly mine, for then I am sure I should presently spoile it. I would but borrow it; Mal. 3.17. and in that day when hee maketh up his jewells, I would restore it him againe. I know that hee would so delight in it, if I keepe it tenderly, and charily, that hee would weare it in his eare; hee would heare the cry of it, as hee heard the cry of the children of Israel, Ex. 2.23. vers. 24by reason of their bondage. Well; if that be the way to gett such a jewell; a jewell so inestimable, so pretious: if I may gett it by crying; surely I will Weepe, I will cry. With Ioseph, Gen. 43 30. I will make hast; my bowells shall yearne within mee; I will seeke where to weepe. I will enter into my chamber, and weepe there. [Page 45] Hee hath given such a jewell to others; and why may not I as well hope to prevaile, as others have done? Hee hath enough of them: hee make's them: hee makes them at any time; and that easily too; very easily; onely with a word of his mouth. Therfore I will cry with a greate, and exceeding bitter cry, Gen. 27 34. vers. 38 and say unto him Father, blesse mee, even mee allso, ô my father. I will lift up my voyce and weepe, and will say unto him, Hast thou but one blessing, my father? Blesse mee even mee allso, ô my father. Ier. 3.21.Vpon the high places was once heard both a weeping, and a supplication allso of the children of Israel. I will weepe too towards the high place, towards the seate of my God; & every teare shall have a tongue, & every tongue shall cry for this heart which I want. Or [...]f all that will not doe; Iam. 3.5. then this litle unruely member, which hath boasted so great things: this litle fire, that would formerly kindle so great matters, shall now burne with Zeale of my desires; and with it I will pray, and say:
The Prayer.
RIghteous father, Ier. 17.10. who searchest the hearts, and tryest the reines; and in that search doest find my corrupted heart to be full of pollution, and uncleanesse; vouchsafe I beseech thee, to give mee a sight of, and a sorrow for the offences thereof. Breake thou [Page 46] my hard, and stonie heart, with the knowledg of my sinne; and my due consideration of thy heavy wrath. Psal. 5.4. Eze. 11 19. Psal. 51.10. Deut. 4 9.10.17.17. Ps. 107.35. Thou art a God that delightest not in wickednesse: remove therfore from mee this heart of obstinacie; and give mee a heart of flesh. Create in mee a cleane heart, ô God; and renew a right spirit within mee. Let not thy commandements depart from it, all the dayes of my life. Speake but the word, ô God, and it shall be done. Sanctifie it in thy trueth; thy word is trueth. O thou that didst turne the wildernesse into a standing water; and drie ground into water springs; be pleased to shew thy mercy now in the depth of my distresse. Lord, heare my desires: behould my necessities. Without a heart I cannot serve thee: without a new heart I cannot praise thee, Lord, give mee a heart to feare thee; Is. 66.2 Ps. 38.18.to tremble at thy word; to listen to thy promises; to confesse my sinnes; and to be sorrie for mine offences. Give mee, ô my God, Ps. 119.80. fuch a heart as thou requirest; that so it may be allways sound in thy statutes. Give mee a heart that may mourne in secret for all my sinns, both secret, and open: that may be zealous for thine honour; that may be tender of thy displeasure; and that may shun both the inclination to and the desire of offending thee, my greate Creatour. Heare mee ô God, Io. 19.34. Mat. 26 38. for thy mercies are greate. Heare mee, ô Christ, whose side was pierced; whose soule was sorrowfull; and all to purchase new [Page 47] hearts for all that are penitent sinners. Heare mee ô blessed spirit, and assist mee in my petitions, with sighes, Rom. 8 26. Can. 8.6.and groanes that cannot be expressed. Give mee a heart for thy service; and then set mee, ô Lord, as a seale upon thine [...]rme. O Lord give! O Lord forgive! Forgive my sinnes; and give mee the blessing of a righteous heart; that so I may feare thee as long as I shall remaine in this vallie of teares; and then receave mee, ô my father into thy celestiall Kingdome, that I may live with thee in glorie for ever, and ever, through Iesus Christ my onely mediatour, and redeemer, Amen.
THE THIRD SUBJECT. Teares of Time.
The Soliloquie consisting of three parts: viz: • 1 A re-view of the time past. , • 2 A consideration of the time present. , and • 3 A resolution for the time to come.
The First part. A re-view of the time past,
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation:
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
THe fower beasts, in the Apocalyps, that were full of eyes before, behind, and within, sitting upon the throne which was set in heaven, rested not day and night saying, Rev. 4.8.Holy, holy, holy Lord God Allmighty, which was, and is, and [Page 49] is to come. What a high description is here of the sacred Trinitie! The Father holy; the Sonne holy; and the Spirit holy: and yet not three holies, but one holy. The Father Lord; the Sonne Lord; and the Holy Ghost Lord. The Father God; the Sonne God; and the Holy Ghost God. The Father All mighty; the Sonne All mighty; and the Holy Ghost All mighty. The Father Eternall; the Sonne Eternall; and the Holy Ghost Etemall: and yet not three Lords, nor three Gods, nor three Allmighties, not three Eternalls; but one Lord, one God, one All mighty, and one Eternall. Eternall? What's that? The text saith which was; not as if hee had beene, (but is not) therfore it is added which is: yet not so is, as if hee should be no more; therfore it is farther added and is to come. Surely hee that was, without beginning; which is, immutable, and which shall be the judg both of the quick and the dead; even the same God was, is, and shall be Holy in his essency, Lord in his dominion, God in his excellency, Allmighty in his power, and Eternall in all. When I reade these deepe mysteries of my God, ô how I am divided, mee think's, in my selfe! How doe I varie in my thoughts, and meditations! The singing of those heavenly beasts, make's mee rejoyce; but their song it selfe drive's mee into a sadnesse: for they tell mee that holinesse, and righteousnesse, [Page 50] and glory, and power, and eternitie is the very nature of God; in none whereof I can find my selfe to be like unto him. Lord, I wish that I were with the beasts, upon the throne, that I might be a litle more cheerfull then I am here at the foote stoole. But alasse my wishes cannot be purchases: for none can come to God, but those alone, who are like unto God. 1 Cor. 29. Before I can come to sitt upon that throne, I must certainly be holy; for hee is holy: I must be righteous; for hee is righteous: and then, though I shall not have such power, nor glory as hee hath; yet I shall have my share; I shall have my proportion, I shall have such power to magnifie my God, as that nothing shall be able either to oppose, or divert mee: I shall have such glory, as neither eye hath seene, 1, Pet. 1 15.nor eare hath heard, nor yet can enter into the heart of man to conceave: yea and I shall have eternitie too; for though I cannot be sayd to be perfectly eternall, because I had a beginning; yet I shall be certainly eternall, in that I shall have noe end. But how shall I gaine this holinesse that I may come to that eternitie; Surely I must looke upon the three distinctions, or parts of time; and if I consider them as limitted, I must find my selfe in them; if as unlimitted, I must find my God in them. For God is not so sayd which was, which is, and which is to come, as if this description did any way come neere [Page 51] a full expression of his eternitie: but rather submitt's, as it were, onely to our capacitie; that so by this, I may partly conjecture at what I cannot yet possibly comprehend. Noe time can properly be asscribed unto God; for each part thereof hath a bound, and limitation, which God can not have. The time past is gone allready from us: the time present is goeing: and the time to come is not yet ours. But when wee say God was, wee intimate his perfection in being, without a beginning of being: When wee say God is, wee expresse his vigour and readinesse, and power to effect his purposes: and when wee say God shall be, wee undoubtedly acknowledg, and confesse his perpetuitie. The time was, when I was not; and I, againe, shall be, when time shall not. I shall be, indeede: but where shall I be? Eternitie hath but two mansions; heaven, & hell. If I doe not take heede, I may be tormented for ever (Lord how I tremble at the thought of it!) in the land of darknesse: and yet't is possible for mee to avoide that fire and brimstone, and live eternally in the heavens. Surely, if the choyce be in my power, I am a thousand times worse then the maddest woman that ever was bereft of her senses, if I choose not heaven much rather then hell; for in heaven is an eternall life, but in hell; an eternall death. In the one shall be noe end of living: in the [Page 52] other shall be noe end of dying. Tis concluded then: if my choyce be free, I lay hands upon heaven; that shall be mine. And who can blame mee? The choyce, I am sure, is good: but yet there remaine's more then the bare saying, I choose heaven for my lott. Yes surely: there's more then this, or else it had beene impossible that ever any should have beene damned, if the fruition of happinesse should immediately have ensued upon the election by word, or speech alone. What then is next required to my choyce? My Saviour tell's mee: Mat: 7.21. Not every one that saith unto mee Lord Lord, shall enter into the Kingdome of heaven: but hee that doeth the will of my father which is in heaven. Doe his will? What's that? What is his will? Surely the Prophet tell's mee, when hee say's, and advise's, Is: 55.6. Seeke the Lord while hee may be found; call upon him while hee is neere. Seeke him? Why? Hee's in heaven. While hee may be found? Why? When cannot hee be found who is every where, and for ever and ever? True it is that hee is allways to be found; but, onely of them that seeke him: and those that seeke, must seeke as they ought, or else they shall not find him whom they would. Hee is allways to be found; but is hee allways to be found of mee? This question is to the purpose indeede: for what is it to mee, if all the world besides should find him? What content [Page 53] could I receive in that ioy which others would have in the fruition of him, if I find him not? Certainly noe pleasure could redound to mee, if I should have, though the whole, land of darkuesse to my selfe; and noe body else alotted to share with mee. Alasse, alasse, God is not all ways to be found, because hee is not allways sought. The defect is in our selves, and not in him: for those that will find him, must seeke him: hee's very well worth the looking for. Where now have I beene all this while; or where hath Hee beene ever since I was borne; that I have triseled out so much time, and yet have not found him? Oh, though I sought him not, yet hee found mee: though I knew him not, yet hee knew mee: though I minded him not, ye: hee watched over mee. Hee sought mee; hee call'd mee; hee wooed mee to come to him: and when I still denyed, hee offered mee pretious things; pretious indeede, if I would but come to him: and yet I would not; but back againe, like a child, I still ranne to my nurse; I hid my selfe from him; and with my nurse I sported, and played. But why would not Nature my fond nurse, suffer mee to goe to him? Oh, because shee knew that if once I should goe home to my heavenly father, hee would weane mee presently; and never suffer my nurse to foole mee any more. Moreover, shee thought that hee [Page 54] would use mee hardly, and chide mee, and scourge mee; and that shee could not endure; it went against her disposition. Lord, now thou hast opened mine eyes, that I might seeke thee; now I doe seeke thee; doe thou reveale thy selfe unto mee: be ever with mee: be thou ever mine. Make mee to see what I was, with shame and horrour; and now to be what I should be; even a sighing, sobbing, sorrowfull convert. Make mee see, what I was, say I? Indeede what was I not, that was not good, that was wicked, and corrupt? I cannot remember that in all my life, I ever did any one thing, which might truely, and justly be called good. Ay mee! All my time past, was given for nothing: I have quite lost it. How sayd I? For nothing? It were well indeede for mee, if it were so well: I pray God it may be so. But there is an old score, & a great one too, for which I must call my selfe to an account; or else I am sure that the All mighty will. Better it will be for mee, that I doe it, then hee; and yet I cannot doe it, without him. Lord graunt, that I may now spend my time well, even in the recounting how ill I formerly consumed it; and in repenting of that ill. At my birth I surely began well; for I was ignorant of evill; I was innocent: and yet (now I better bethinke my selfe of it) I did not I was not so ignorant, or not so innocent; for I was both conceaved in [Page 55] sin, and borne in sin too; Ps: 51.5 I was shapen in iniquity; and in sinne did my mother conceave mee. Yet I was a kind of prophetesse at my birth; for I came werping into the world: so doe all: & questionlesse the first cry was caused by sinne; foreseeing, as it were, the sinne I should committ; and grieving in a sort, for the sinne which I inherited. But did I beginne so well, and proceede so ill? Was I a young saint; and am I an ould sinner? Was I borne a prophetesse, and have I lived a transgressour? Yes, I have: oh I have. I grew in wickednesse, as I grew in yeeres. When I was a child, I lived in ignorance: 1. Cor: 13.11. I spake as a child; I understood as a child; I thought as a child: yet when I grew past that child-hood, I did not put away child [...]sh things. Act: 17 30. I lived indeede in ignorance; and yet the time of that ignorance God winked at; but now hee command's mee to repent. Foolish I was, Ps: 73.22.& ignorant, even as a beast before him: for I looked onely after things temporall; and never thought upon those that are eternall. and yet (if I consider wel of it) there neither is, nor can be any due comparison betweene them: for there hould's noe proportion; there is noe analogie, or resemblance held betweene things finite, and things infinite. I may observe some difference betweene them, if I doe but consider how Eagerly I long for things temporall, and how I love them before I obtaine [Page 56] them; but, when for a moment I have enioyed them, their vallew is forgotten, for I am surfeited, I am cloyed with them; and all this, because they have nor power, nor goodnesse enough, to bound, and limit my desires: But things eternall, though here they are more coldly desired; yet they shall be beloved, and enioyed, with true content, and continuall reioycing hereafter. Peraduenture those things which I seeke for here, I obtaine not, or if I gaine them, and should possesse them all my life time; yet they would not continue, they would remaine but a short space with mee; because I shall not continue; my life is short. If I could possibly be as ould, if I could live as long as from time to time; from the beginning of time, to the end of time, frō the creation of the world, to the dissolution of the world; yet all this time would not be long, yea it would be nothing in comparison of eternitie. It would not be the hundred thousand thousand thousand thousandth part so much as one graine of sand, is to the whole earth; to the whole world, and all therein conteined, allthough the world should be a million of millions of thousands of millions of times greater then it is, or could be accounted by Arithmetick. Well then; I can have but my life in earthly things; and perhaps not that neither in those things which I desire: they will not be mine for ever: noe for they [Page 57] shall not endure for ever: but that which is eternall shall be for ever, and ever, world without end: I meane not, this world without end, for this shall have an end: but I meane that other world, that better world; the world to come, eternall in the heavens. Sinfull I was, even before I was, before I was in the world; for I had the staine of originall corruption, even in my mother's belly; and then I was not; or not in this world; for so our common speech goe's; yea & so our Saviour him selfe doeth say allso A woman, Io: 16.21.when shee is in her travaile, hath sorrow because her howre is come: but as soone as she is delivered of the child, shee remembreth noe more the anguish, for joy that a man is borne into the world. Our yeeres are constantly reckoned, not from our conceptions, for then wee were imperfect: noe nor from the time of life, from the time wee were first quick, when our soules were at once both created and infused into us; and yet then wee were guiltie of originall pollution: but as if wee were not worthy to be sayd to be, untill wee may beginne to be more sinfull; our age is onely reckoned from our first societie with sinners. The simple world account's that wee have beene but just so long, as wee have beene companions together in the view of men: & so if men were to number my transgressions, and had both power and skill to summe them up, they would [Page 58] begin but at my birth onely; at that time when they began to corrupt mee: but God will, beginne at my beginning; at the first time that I receaved a soule; and from that very instant shall my soule be accountable for all my sinns. But if hee be so strickt, as to beginne with my originall uncleanesse when I knew it not; oh what will hee say to mine actuall abominations, which I both did, and doe know? So many actuall sinns I have committed, that I cannot number them: so greate, and grievous actuall sinnes, that I cannot estimate them. All my former time hath indeede beene wholly mine; none of it was God's. But what good have I done to, or for my selfe, in all this time? Iust none at all: nay on the contrarie, infinite hurt; infinite injurie: for I have not onely dishonoured my God; and offended my neighbour; but allso I have every moment made my selfe more lyable to eternall damnation. But shall I have my time; and shall not God have his too? Yes, yes; hee hath all this while had his time, Rom: 2 4. his time of patience, and forbearance, and long-suffering, dayly expecting my repentance, and conversion. But this was rather my time, then his; for it was for my good, in that hee spared mee. And shall not hee yet have his time? Some other time? Yes; hee will have it. Hee will have a time of visiting the proude; for so hee threatned Babylon by [Page 59] the mouth of his Prophet, saying, Ier: 50.31. Behould I am against thee, ô thou most proude, saith the Lord God of hostes; for thy day is come; the time that I will visite thee. I have beene proude, with Babylon; justly therfore may I expect, that God should visit mee, as hee visited Babylon. Hee will have a time of vengeance: C: 51.6 for so saith the Prophet too: Flee out of the middest of Babylon, and deliver every man his soule [...]: be not cutt off in her iniquity; for this is the time of the Lord's vengeance; hee will render unto her a recompense. I have lived all this while in Babylon; and I have sinned with Babylon; and justly therfore might I be destroyed with Babylon: But the goodnesse of my God hath hitherto spared mee: his kindnesse is greater then I can meritt, or requite, or vallew: for though hee had his time of vengeance against Babylon; yet his time of mercie continueth to mee, in calling mee to flee from out of the middest of her. Hee did call before; but I heard not before: for though the sillie birds, and the fowles doe know their times, and seasons; yet I knew not my time, when God called for my conversion, C: 8.7. The Storke in the heaven knoweth her appointed times; and the Turtle and the Crane, and the Swallow observe the time of their coming: but I, poore I, simple I did not know the judgments of the Lord. Hee will allso have a time of calling every one to an account for their sinnes; and that time hee [Page 60] may take when soëver hee pleaseth: yea and so hee doeth too; for, every day some or other doe appeare at his tribunall. This time hee might have taken against mee allso, all this while; while I have lived in my sinnes; for I did not watch, Mar: 13 33.and pray; though I knew not when the time would be. After judgment hee will have a time of execution too; but hee deferr's, hee delay's both judgment, & execution. This was well knowne even unto those two possessed with Devills, Mat. 8: 28.in the countrie of the Gergesenes, which met my Redeemer as they were coming out of the tombes, exceeding fierce, so that noe man might passe by that way: for they cryed out saying. vers: 29What have wee to doe with thee Iesus, thou sonne of God? Art thou come hither to torment us, before the time? O let the time of vengeance put mee in mind of my sinnes, and what I have deserved justly by them! Mat: 13 25. Yet, lest Sathan should sowe tares among my wheate: lest hee should tempt mee to despaire, when I prepare to repent; let mee as well consider that God hath a time of love too, as hatred; of mercy, as of fury. Thus the Apostle telleth mee: Gal: 4.4 When the fullnesse of time was come, God sent forth his sonne, made of a woman, vers: 5.made under the law: To redeeme them that were under the law, that wee might receave the adoption of sonnes. O what a blessed time of love was this, when his owne sonne, his onely sonne, his sonne of his bosome was sent [Page 61] to redeeme such wicked, and ungodly wretches, as I poore creature am! Ierusalem found a time of love too, of infinite love, when the Lord passed by her, and looked upon her; Eze: 16 8.and behould, her time was the time of love; and hee spread his skirt over her, and covered her nakednesse. Yea, and I have had a time of his love too, when all this while that I have continued in obstinacie and rebellion, hee hath yet deferred the execution of his justice. But now, most of all now, ô my God, I find, and feele thy love which I was not sensible of before. It is thy love, that I affect thy love; that I seeke thy love, because I beginne to know my sinnes which hindered mee from the knowledg of thy love: and among the rest of my sinnes, because I now beginne to be sensible of my pretious, but ill-spent, and lost time. And since thou hast now begunne thy love, the manifestation of thy love to mee, I am so much the more revived, by how much I know that thou canst not choose but continue thy love, even for my good; that I may have time and knowledg, and desire, and power to love thee againe: But especially for thine owne sake; for thou that art eternall, even thou, and thou alone art likewise love; for so the Apostle tell's mee; God is love: 1. Io: 4, 16. Thy love therefore being thy selfe, and thy selfe being eternall, for thine owne sake, ô love eternall, continue unto mee thy love. And that I may [Page 62] be the more sensible of it, 1. Pet: 4 3. Lord let it suffice that the time past of my life I have wrought the will of the Gentiles, vers: 7.when I walked in all manner of wickednesse, & ungodlinesse. And now (seeing the end of allthingsis at hand) make mee to be sober, & to watch unto prayer. Make mee to walke circumspectly; Eph: 5.15. vers: 16nos as a foole, but as the wise; Redeeming the time, because the dayes are evill. But how shall I redeeme the time, since I have allready quite lost it? There is noe other way, but by un-doeing, un-sinning the evill which I have hitherto committed: and this must be with my present sorrowes, for my past, my deluding ioyes. Lord, will one teare serve thy turne, for one sinne? I know it is too litle; I confesse it; and yet that one for one is more then I can give; for my teares can be but finite, but few; whereas my sinnes are many, are infinite. But may one teare serve thee for all my sinnes? Alasse, that's too litle in all conscience; and yet even that is more then by nature I am willing to give. I must, I must weepe, if ever I hope to receave any comfort: yea, and when I have wept as much as I well can weepe, even then I must endeavour to weepe, because I can weepe noe more. David was a man; and yet hee could weepe: yea hee had so many teares, that hee was charitablie pleased to dispose of some for others; yea very many; for his owne words are, Ps: 119.136. Rivers of waters runne [Page 63] downe mine eyes, because men keepe not thy law. I am a woman, and shall I have noe teares, I can cry sometimes for anger; and that is onely to satisfie a sinfull passion. I can cry some times for a losse; when as that which I loose is not worth a teare. O if ever I will be angry while I live, let mee be angry now! Let mee be angry at my selfe for misse-spending my time! Let me be heartily angry, even till I cry againe! O, if ever losse was greate, I am sure that mine is; for I have lost my time; my pretious time; my whole time; even my whole life ever since I was borne, unto this very minuit. Otherwise I might have had in all this space whole millions of good thoughts, and speeches, and actions, and sobbs, and teares registred in heaven against my appearing at the tribunall. But instead of those, I have filled the booke of remembrance of my God, with nothing but vanities and follies; with sinnes, and wickednesse; with omissions, and commissions, so many, and so grievous, that unlesse they be blotted out there is noe remedy but I my selfe must be blotted out of the booke of life. But there is yet hope, so long as there is life. There is hope that they may be expunged; but then I must beginne the worke, in my repentance, and so blott them with my teares. O that I were now a very piller of salt; Gen: 19 26. even such a one as Lot's wife was turned into; though not with her backsliding; [Page 64] not with her looking back, and longing to returne to Sodome againe. Noe, noe; that were to repent of my repentance; and to undoe, what I have begunne. But I would be salt, because a teare is so; and I would be all salt, a whole pillar of falt, that so in my repentance, I might be all sorrow, all teares, and melt quite away in my laments for my wickednesse: for thus might I beginne to blott out the sinns which I have committed. But if I may not have that wish, Lord let mee howsoëver weepe as much as I may; as much as nature and grace can possiblie wring from the eyes of a woman: and when I have thus endeavoured to beginne to blott out the offences of the time which is past; then helpe mee, ô my God; assist mee, ô Christ, ô Iesus; and with thy most pretious blood which was [...]hed upon the crosse, blott them all out of thy remembrance, for ever, and ever.
part 2 The second part, Of the Soliloquie. A consideration of the time present.
IT is the practise of the wise, to redeeme the time past; to governe well the time present; and carefully to provide for the time [Page 65] to come. That which is past, may be redeemed [...]y sorrow at the time which is present; and the well imploying of the present, may prepare us for the future. I have wickedly lost [...]hat time which is past; I would therfore dispose well of that which is present. And yet, Lord how swiftly doe's this present time hasten away! If I marke but the pulse of my watch, I heare it cry tick tick, tick tick, as [...]ast as I can well count; and yet that come's not neere a full informing mee of the flight of the time. Alack; the last minuit is already gone: that which is present, is but an [...]nstant, and not discernable; it continueth at most, but the twinkling of an eye; and yet the present moment is often lost in the expectation of the future. The minuits fty; and stay not the accountant's leasure. The dayes hasten; and in their swift expedition, chide my negligence, and slownesse in religion. But, if I well consider it, my time is not so short; but I am an ill house-wife of it: there's the fault. I receave not a short life; but I make it short: for I am not driven to a poverty of time; but contrarily, I am guilty of the prodigalitie. I am carefull, and provident, for my outward estate; and with all my discretion, and industrie I endeavour, at least to keepe it, if not to increase it: but as touching my time, away I let it passe; I give it away; I lavish it away; whereas noe coveteousnesse is eyther [Page 66] commendable, or so much as lawfull, but onely the coveting of our most pretious time. I commonly accuse nature (or rather, the God of nature) for allowing mee such a short time upon earth: and yet certainly I speake not as I meane; I doe not account it short; for I throw it away; I cast it away: yea I contemne it, as if it were base, and not worth the owning. Yea more; I even wish it away. for sometimes I wish for the expiring of a lease; sometimes for the death of a friend, after whose decease, I shall possesse such, or such a revennue; whereas the shortest of these times may be many yeeres; and yet I consider not that every moment shorten's my life. Thus the time it selfe is become a burden to mee; for I wish to hasten it; and yet I consider not that the fruition of my desires would make mee in debt to yeares; a thing which I dread much more, then I pretend to feare the losse of my time. It is the custome of our sexe to desire to live; yet not to live without our youthfull desires. Ould age, wee conceave, may be accounted venerable; but youthfull yeeres wee onely delight in: thus wee contemne that which is honourable; and pride our selves in that which is sinfull: Wee hasten, in our wishes, the fleeting time; but wee desire to retard the chillowed, and furrowed effects thereof. Wee wish too early, for the time not expired, and then wee wish too [Page 67] late, for what cannot be recalled. My time, [...] longest, is but short, very short, if compared with gray-headed eternitie: so was the Pro [...]het's allso; even the Prophet David's; Ps: 89.47. which made him cry out, Remember how short my time [...]: wherfore hast thou made all men in vaine? [...]aint Paul acknowledgeth likewise the shortnesse of our age, speaking thus: 1. Cor: 7.29. This I say brethren; the time is short: it remaineth that both they that have wives, be as though they had none &c: And yet, as short as it is, I endeavour to make [...] shorter: for (to speake truely) the time [...]yeth not away from mee; but I drive it away. Religious exercises make mee deeme it long, and tedious: but sports, and delights seeme to [...]end it a wing, or to ympe a feather. I vallew it therfore, according to my imployment; & esteeme it onely according to my affaires. If I therfore seriously consider of it, I shall [...]ind it flying from those that are sportfull; but walking leasurely from those who either are [...]mployed in matters of religion; or groane under the burden of any heavy affliction: Thus farre opinion either lends it wings; or pulls the quills. But if with a more judicious eye I prye into my life; the time of my life; I shall find, that a greate part thereof is lost, in doeing evill: the most of it in doeing nothing: but (I feare that I may truely say) all of it, in doeing what I ought not. And yet, for all this, I cry out upon my time; upon my lost time: [Page 68] but allways I conceale to my selfe the follies where in I lost this time. All this I confesse: why then doe I not well imploy, the litle of this litle time; that so, when I dye, I may outlive even time it selfe? I am not of their opinions, who attribute wisedome unto time; because it discover's, teache's, & alter's all things. This is not an act of time; but in time our judgments come to maturitie; and in time the decayes of nature are discovered. As litle allso doe I concurre with them, who account it foolish, because (say they) it is the master of oblivion: for in time all things are forgotten. I attribute not either wisedome or follie to the mensuration of our lives; but those I deeme either wise, or foolish, who well or ill dispose of their time. I will endeavour for so much wisedome, as to imploy my dayes in religious wisedome; and I will not, I neede not goe farther to seeke for the foolish and unwise, then to my selfe, when I vainly misspend the jewell of a minuit. Every day I will account as lost wherein I have not beene carefull to performe my duty: and every such day I will endeavour to redeeme, by a sorrowfull night. If a haire doeth happen to fall from my head, it is beyond my art to fasten it where it grew: and yet I doe not use to thinke, that the minuit which is past is more certainly irrevocable. I can speake my words againe, and againe; but I cannot live over [Page 69] my howers againe, and againe. And yet, for [...]l this, I take delight in those shadowes of [...]nity; but consider not, that such delight is [...]rrow. I labour, with industrie, and wearinesse, [...]r things that are transitorie; and yet I loose them, before I am aware. They are not gotten without dropps of sweate; and they depart not from mee without dropps of teares. All that time is but losse, and spent in griefe, which is not layed out for the purchase of eternitie. All my time is un-profitably spent, if it be not s [...]ent in the service of my God. With him all times are alike, because hee is eternall, without either beginning, or ending. Neither past, [...]or present, nor future can make any alteration with him; because hee seeth at once, & ever did, and ever will see all things whatsoëver, which have beene, are, and shall be. But it is not so with mee; for to mee my time is measured out, and delivered by instants. That which was before mee, was not mine; and yet I reape some benefit from it; because the labours, and observations of former ages, & occurrences, are left to our times, to instruct as in wisedome. That time which shallbe, when I shall be layed low in the dust, shall [...]ot be mine: for, by reason of my sinne, my life shall not continue. My time then is onely for a bare terme of life; and how long, or [...]ow short this life shall continue, I know not; for every moment draweth mee neerer and [Page 70] neerer to the period thereof. I reckon my present age by the yeares that are past; as if those yeares were still mine owne, which are escaped from mee. I reckon some times before the time; & determine that mine age shall be so much increased, when such or such a moneth shall governe in the Kalender: as if I were sure of that time which I yet have not: whereas if I should live as long as I desire, or reckon, and make account to live; I should heartily wish that mine account were ended; that my reckoning were discharged. Short indeede my time is, not onely in it selfe; or considered with eternitie; but allso compared with his who is the tempter: for hee was a Devill before ever was created or made either man, or woman; and hee shall be a Devill when none shall be loft to be allured by him. Hee hath had his time to tempt, and seduce, ever since hee conquered the first innocent: & hee shall continue his suggestions so long as men shall continue in the world; and yet, for all this, his time is sayd to be but short: for so sayth St Iohn: Rev. 12 12. Woe to the inhabitants of the earth, and of the sea; for the Devill is come downe unto you, having greate wrath, because hee knoweth hee hath but a short time. If his time be short, which is much longer then mine; what then is mine, which is but a moment, in comparison of his? And yet this moment may be a portall to erernitie [Page 71] if I so behave my selfe, as allways provi [...]ing to live eternally. But how shall I setle my selfe, to be thus provided? I would spend my time well; but that I account it a sinne to spend my time: for if my life be [...]ood, my time is not spent, but gotten. I would leade my life in the commandements of my God: this I ought to doe but I am not forward to doe it. True it is, that those which live well may be truely sayd to leade their lives: they walke gently; & therfore surely: but those that live ill doe spend their lives: they spend them prodigally; they consume them [...]ainely. How then shall I leade my life, that I may live for ever? Certainly I must not doe, as the world doth: I must not measure my life by either the length, or variety of discourses. I must not determine to trifle out an hower in vaine society; and purposely addresse my selfe to companies apt to bereave mee of my fleeting time. The tongue cannot walke so speedily, as the moments can poast: I must not therfore instruct my tongue to hasten the howers in vaine discourses; for that very hower which I resolve to sacrifice [...]n common, and sinnfull language, may peradventure be the last which God hath [...]lotted mee. If so it should prove; much better it were that I should lay it out in repentance, then charge it to my sinfull account, which I must suddainly balance. [Page 72] Nor may I thinke away my time: it must not be worne out by pensive, and distracting melancholly; such as the Devill is apt to teach, and thereto to annexe a kind of delight. Noe thought is free, but that which is godly: Noe melancholly is justifiable, but that which proceede's from a penitent sinner. Every thought not fixed on goodnesse, is but a spurr to hasten the time, and an addition to my debts. I must therfore enter into my selfe, as I doe into my garden: I must roote out the weedes, the evill, and un-hallowed cogitations; but cherish the flowers, the religious, and devoute meditations. There is a way, so to spend the time, as to gaine by the losse: so to give it, as to to get advantage by the guift; and that is by giving, or rather by rendering it back to the donour. This is done, by imploying my litle, my speedie time in the service of my God: which being done, hee will reward mee with eternitie, when time shall be forgotten. Noe time is better spent, then that which is spent in a sorrow for sinne. This time therefore which is lent mee, I will re-pay back againe, in repentance for my sinnes. I have knitted up a life; but the stitches are false, or broken: I will therfore ravell it out againe, in the exa mination of my errours. I have woven up a life, full of falsehood, and misse-takes; but I will unweave the webbe, by enquiring into my severall breaches, mine enormities. I was [Page 73] borne to worke; not hereafter, but here: Lord graunt, that whilest I am here, Phil. 2.12. I may worke out my saluation with feare, and trembling. I was borne to runne; to runne a race; not hereafter, but here: Lord graunt, that whilest I am here, I may so runne, 1. Cor. 9.24.that hereafter I may obtaine. I was borne to contend; not hereafter, but here: Lord graunt, that whilest I am here, I may so strive that I may get the masterie, 2. Tim. 2.5. & hereafter obtaine an incorruptible crowne of glory: I must worke, & labour in repentance; I must runne in faith; I must strive in hope; and all this must be done in this litle skantling of time, which is measured to mee upon earth. Alasse when I shall be snatched away from these earthly imployments, noe more time will be allotted mee for either repentance, or faith, or hope. Noe, noe: If I goe to heaven; there I shall have noe neede of repentance: If I goe to hell; there I shall not have power to repent. In heaven both faith, and hope shall have their perfect consummation; and be turned into knowledg, & fruition: In hell shall be neither faith in Christ; nor hope by Christ. This life is the time, in which I must provide for the life to come. O what would not Cain, or Iudas, or any other of the damned in hell give (if yet they had any thing to give) for but one of these howers which I trifle away! How would they presently fall upon their knees, if an hower of [Page 74] repentance were lent unto them; and howle, & cry, and teare, and roare; & all they would account too litle, if yet they had hopes, by repentance, to be freed from their torments! This I reade; and this I cannot choose but believe: O what care ought I then to take, to spend my whole time in repentance whilest I am here; lest hereafter I should have a portion with those impenitent wretches, in the land of horrour! Whilest I am here, I have hope, if yet I have grace: but if once the sentence be passed, there will be noe re-voking it: when the soule shall be departed, there will be noe returning. Eccl: 9.4. vers. 5. To him (say's Solomon) that is joyned to all the living, there is hope: for the living know that they shall dye; but the dead know not any thing; neither have they any more a reward. Every one here is alotted a time to spend in repentance; to which they are strongly perswaded evē by the remembrance of death: but when once they are dead, all hope of effectuall godly sorrow is but vaine, and as vaine is the hope of mercy for their cryes. vers. 10 c: 11.3. There is noe worke, nor device, nor knowledg, nor wisedome in the grave, whither they goe. If the tree fall toward the South, or toward the North; in the place where the tree falleth, there it shall be. Graunt therfore ô my God, that I may seeke thee now whilest thou mayest be found; Is: 55.6and call upon thee whilest thou art neere! Make mee worship thee here; and pray to the here; [Page 75] and weepe to thee heere; and believe in thee heere; and hope in thee here; Gal: 6.7 Ps: 126.5. Mat: 29.23. and love thee here: for whatsoever I sow, that I shall be sure to reape. I will therfore sow in prayers, and in teares here; and then I shall be sure to reape in joy hereafter; even to enter into the joy of my Lord.
part 3 The third part Of the Soliloquie. A resolution for the time to come.
VVHile the earth remaineth (sayth the Lord to Noah) seede time and harvest, cold and heate, summer and winter,Gen: 8.22.day and night shall not cease. This is a faithfull promise of the true God; and therfore cannot be questioned, or doubted by Christians. But how long shall these seasons last? Onely as long as the earth remaineth. And how long shall the earth remaine? God onely knoweth that: it is not in the power, or reach of the wisest upon earth to limit the time thereof. A time will come, Mat: 24 35. when heaven and earth shall passe away: when the Sunne shall be darkened; and the Moone shall not give her light;vers. 29and the Starres shall fall from heaven; and the powers of the heavens shall be shaken: but of that day, vers. 36[Page 76] and hower knoweth noe man, noe not the Angells in heaven; but the Father onely. The earth (I know) shall have a time of dissolution; and her funerall piles shall be kindled, and fired by him, Is: 30.33. whose breath, like a streame of brimstone, doth kindle Tophet. Yet, though I know not how soone this time shall be expired, I hope it may be deferred for many ages: and so peradventure it may be. But what if it be? What can the delaying thereof advantage mee? How many ages have passed since the creation of the world! How many millions of people have had their successions since the death of Abel! I neither was created with the first; nor (for any thing I know) shall I remaine with the last. If therfore the earth, and the seasons of the earth shall continue a thousand yeares; if yet I live not out that thousand yeares, what can the age of the world advantage mee? Why then doe I fasten my hopes upon future times? Why doe I confidently reckon upon yeeres to come; or moneths; or weekes; or dayes? Nay, why upon to morrow? Why upon an hower? Why upon a minuit? There is nothing more sure then that my former dayes are past, and gone; and may not be re-called: Nothing is more certaine, then that the present instant is short, and cannot continue: And nothing, againe, is more uncertaine to mee, then the future time whereon I depend. Moreover: [Page 77] If I were sure to live a certaine proportion, and number of dayes, or weekes, or moneths: 2. King 20.6. if I were sure that the Lord would adde unto my dayes fifteene yeares as hee did to Hezekiahs; yet how doe I know that hee would give mee grace to repent in those fifteene yeeres? An impenitent life is but a living death; and (which is worst of all) after that cometh judgment. Heb: 9.27. If then I vainely flatter my selfe with a hope that my life shall be prolonged; and relying upon the broken reede of that deceaving hope, if I deferre my repentance; I doe but hope that God will lengthen my dayes that I may increase my sinnes; & so, by consequence that my punishment may be increased. There is indeede, a sort of coveteous people in the world, which promise to themselves a continuance of their lives, that they may increase their riches. These are they which say, Iam: 4 13. To day, or to morrow wee will goe into such a citty, and continue there a yeare, and buy, and sell, and gett gaine; vers. 14whereas (as the Apostle saith) they know not what shall be to morrow. For, what is our life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a litle time and then vanisheth away. And there is a sort of luxurious Atheists, and Epicures, which say, Come yee, Is: 56.12.I will fetch wine and wee will fill our selves with strong drinke; and to morrow shall be as this day, and much more aboundant. Wised: 2.5. These are they which say Our time is a very shadow that passeth away; and after our [Page 78] end, there is noe returning; for it is fast sealed that noe man cometh againe:vers. 6.Come on, therfore; let us enjoy the good things that are present; and let us speedily use the creatures, vers. 7.like as in youth. Let us fill our selves with costly wine, and ointments; and let noe flower of the spring passe us. vers. 8.Let us crowne our selves with rose-buds, before they be withered: vers. 9.Let none of us goe without his part of voluptuousnesse; let us leave tokens of our joyfullnes in every place; for this is our portion, and our lott is this. And these are they, which (like the rich Epicure in the Gospel) say unto their Soules, Lu: 12.19.Soule, thou hast much goods layed up for many yeares; take thine ease; eate, drinke, and be merry. All these suppose that man was created onely for meates; and not meates for man. They conceave that every one shall have a time of pleasure; and wickedly they seeke it in the vanitie of the creatures. But oh! that both they, and I, might ever have those words of the All mighty sounding in our eares, vers. 20 Thou foole; this night thy soule shall be required of thee; and then, whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided? This night, Lord? Yes, this very hower, this very instant thou mayst strike mee dead, & then as death leaves mec, judgment shall find mee. O it will be a time of horrour, and amazement to those that prepare not for, to those that expect not, his comeing. 1. Pet. 4.17. Saint Perer sayd long agoe that, The time is come, that judgment must beginne at [Page 79] the house of God: and if it first beginne at us (Lord put mee into that number) what shall the end be of them that obey not the Gospel of God? And if the righteous scarcely be saved, vers. 18where shall the ungodly, and sinners appeare? Hearke: Doest thou heare that, ô my soule? The righteous shall scarcely be saved. This is true; for it is the word of trueth. It was inspired by his Spirit, who sayd, Straite is the gate, Mat: 7.14.and narrow is the way that leadeth to life; and few there be that find it. O how I tremble, when I reade that scarcely, and that few! What shall I doe, to be one of those few, allthough I obtaine it never so hardly; allthough I know that I shall scarcely attaine to it? Lord, I will repent; but doe thou assist mee. Lord, I will be faithfull; but doe thou increase my faith. Lu: 17.5. I will, doe I say? When? How? Am I sure of any time, but the present moment? Or can I stay the present instant, and hinder it from flying? Noe, noe; I cannot: By thy grace therfore, blessed God, even now, this very instant, I doe repent, and am unfeignedly sorrowfull for all mine offences: this very moment I doe believe all that thou hast spoken in thy holy word; I doe believe thee; I doe believe in thee; ô Lord helpe thou my un-beliefe. Mar: 9.24. If I shall have any more minuits allotted mee, I wil number them with my teares, because I cannot number my sinnes. Is: 30.20. I will eate the bread of sorrow; and I will drinke the water [Page 80] of contrition, and affliction; if I live to eate, & drinke any more. See, see how voluntarily these forward teares falling all-ready from mine eyes, present themselves to my lipps, & steale into the corners, privately (as it were) instructing mee, that they are the wine which befitt's a sinner. Lord, let mee not live, if I doe not love to grieve and grieve most affectionately for my hainous offences: for those offences of mine which so scourged my Redeemer, that they fetch'd the very blood from his sacred body. O my God, make mee, thus, to passe away my time, if any more time shall be mine; and then I know that thou wilt wi [...]e these teares from mine eyes; Is: 25.8 and number mee with those few, Mat: 7.13.14. which shall enter in at the strait gate. But what a tedious life in the meane while, shall I leade, if I doe nothing but weepe, and cry, and mourne out my life? Better be out of the world, then to take noe pleasure in the world. Must I droope away my youth, and strength, while I am here; and then drop away into my grave, and so be forgotten? Yes; I must. If I will have my heaven hereafter, I must have my hell here. I cannot bee without my hell of sinne here, for the devill is allways with mee in his temptations; and why should I not desire rather to have my hell of punishment here, then hereafter? It will be wisedome to endure a light affliction upon earth; rather them eternall flames with the [Page 81] damned. It will be good policie to forbeare the vaine and fruitlesse joyes upon earth; that I may have joyes unspeakeable, and endlesse in heaven. This life will not continue allways. I shall not allways live here, in the bitternesse of this anguish, and teares. There will come a time, when I shall have beauty for ashes: Is: 61.3the garment of gladnesse, for the spirit of heavinesse: when I shall have comfort and joy; and that joy shall noe man take away from mee. Io: 16.22. Ps: 126.6. If I now goe on my way weeping, bearing pretious seede; I shall doubtlesse come againe with rejoycing, bringing my sheaves with mee. But when will that time come? Will it not be long first? I am contented to weepe for my sinns; but mee think's, I am not willing to weepe too long. O my soule, doe but consider with thy selfe, that all thy life is not long enough (if al of it were spent in teares) to satisfie my God, for the smallest of mine offences. They are infinite in number; and hee is infinite, whom they displease: Yet through the merits of him, Lu: 19.41. who wept over Ierusalem, my teares shall be accepted, and my sinnes be forgiven. I shall not thinke my time of sorrow long, or tedious, if I doe but hearken to the Angel which Saint Iohn saw standing upon the sea, and upon the earth; Reu: 10 5.who lifted up his hand to heaven, vers. 6 [...]And sware by him that liveth for ever and ever; who created heaven, and the thines that therein are; and the earth and [Page 82] the things that therein are; and the sea, and the things that are there in; that there should be time noe longer. This will come to passe; and I am sure that it cannot be long first. Let mee but have a litle patience; let mee possesse my soule in patience but a litle while; Lu: 21.19. Heb: 10 37.and hee that shall come, will come, and hee will not tarry. O my God, either lend mee noe more minuits; or howsoëver let mee have noe more sinne. But if I must of necessitie sinne, so long as I shall live; give mee true repentance, as often as I sinne: or if that bee a taske too full of difficultie for a woman to performe, by reason of the weakenesse of the sexe, and the frailtie of the flesh; yet give mee such repentance, as may be both true, and timely, and acceptable. Lord, I desire not to live any longer, unlesse I might live without offending thy gratious Majestie. What time soever thou shalt allott mee hereafter, it shall be more then I will expect, lest it should wickedly entice mee to deferre my repentance. Yet if it be thy pleasure, to adde unto my dayes; let it be thy pleasure likewise, to adde unto my repentance. Make mee thy child by grace; and then I shall pant with David; and thirst, with David; and cry, Ps: 42.2 Reu. 22 20. with David, O when shall I come, and appeare before thee? Finish soone these dayes of sinne; and come Lord Iesus; come quickly.
The Prayer.
Ancient of dayes, Dan. 7.9. Reu. 4.8.whose garment is white as snow, and the haire of whose head is like the pure wooll; thou which wert and art, and art to come, Lord God All mighty; have mercy upon mee, the meanest, and the unworthiest of all thy creatures. Mercy, o Lord, I begge for the wicked, and most sinfull losse of my pretious time. O Lord forgive whatsoëver I have done amisse: pardon, ô father, whatsoëver I have offended in. This, or none, must be my time of sorrow. Lord graunt that I may weepe, and grieve, & mourne for my former sinfull life. It is thy custome, ô God; it is thy promise, Ps: 50.15. Neh. 9.27. to hearken unto those who are in distresse. When the Israelites cryed, thou deliveredst them from the hand of their enemies: in their troubles when they cryed unto thee, thou heardest them from heaven. My sinnes are mine enemies; and farre more cruell, then were the enemies of Israel. Lord be thou as gratious now unto mee in this time of my trouble, as thou wert then unto thy people: heare mee from heaven, and forgive mee the wickednesse of my misse-led life. Is: 33.2. I wayte for thee ô my God; be thou mine arme every morning; and my salvation in this time of spirituall sorrow. Forgive mee the losse of the time allready past; accept of my repentance, at this time which is present; and so protect, guide, and blesse mee, [Page 84] that what time soever shall be to come, I may wholly dedicate it to thee the donour. Ps: 20.12. 1. Pet. 1.17. Eph. 5.16. Rom. 13.11. Gal. 6.10. Io: 9.4: Teach mee so to number my dayes that I may apply my heart unto wisedome. Make mee to passe the time of my sojourning here in feare; redeeming the time, because the dayes are evill; and considering, that it is now high time for mee, to awake out of the sleepe of securitie. Graunt that, as I have opportunitie, I may doe good unto all; but especially to the house-hould of faith. The night cometh, when none can worke: Lord doe thou draw mee, Heb. 12 1. that I may follow after thee; that so I may runne with patience the race which is set before mee, vers. 2.looking unto thee, my Iesus, the author, and finisher of my faith. Make mee to watch, and attend thy coming, ô Christ, with the wise virgins, Mat: 25 10.having oyle in my lampe; that so, when thou comest for mee, I may be ready for thee: and then, for thine owne sake, ô God, Rev. 19 9. admitt mee to the blessed supper of the Lamb; for thy promise sake, receave mee to mercy; and bring mee to thine eternall Kingdome for Iesus sake, my onely Lord, & Saviour, Amen.
THE FOURTH SUBjECT. Teares in the night.
The Soliloquie. Divided into three parts, fitted for the time. • 1 Immediately before goeing to bed. , • 2 Of lying downe in the bed. , and • 3 Of awaking in the night.
The First part. Immediately before goeing to bed.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation:
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
IT was a pious resolution of holy David, Ps: 132.3. that hee would not come into the tabernacle of his house, nor goe up into his bed: vers. 4.Hee would not give sleepe to his eyes, nor slumber to his eye-lids; untill hee had found out a place for the Lord; vers. 5.an [Page 86] habitation for the mighty God of Iacob. A resolution well besitting mee too, though hee was a King, and I am but the meanest, the lowest of the daughters of Abraham. The day hath bid fare-well, and is layed to sleepe in the evening; and the darknesse of the evening inviteth mee both by custome and by a debt which I owe unto my wearied limbs, to prepare for rest. But shee who sleepes not in God, rest's not at all. To him therfore will I addresse my selfe, that I may be the fitter to un-dresse my selfe, and repaire to the place of my sweete repose. But how shall I goe to him? Where shall I find him? 'T is too late to seeke him, in the Temple; and I have not the meanes which David had, to build him one, whensoëver I please. But this shall not much trouble mee. I must not be so superstitious as to thinke that God is confined onely to the materiall Temple: nor may I be so prophane, as to neglect that place (at fitt opportunities) which is sett apart for his service. I will have a reverend, and due esteeme of those sacred places dedicated wholly to the service of my God, but I must be carefull to avoyd both superstition, and prophanenesse. When I goe into them, I must put off my shooes from my feete, as Moses was commanded by the Lord himselfe; Ex. 3.5. for the place whereon hee stood was holy ground. Deu: 25 9. His shooes were to be put off, as resigning his [Page 87] right unto God; as mourning, and humbling, himselfe before God; Eze: 24 27. Is: 20, 2 4. 2. Sam. 15.30. Mat: 21 13. putting off all uncleanesse and earthinesse, as hee did those shooes. So must I too, when I goe unto that house of prayer: I must in all humilitie resigne up my selfe to my maker, that I may honour him with my service. But must I not, Ought I not at all times, and in all places to doe the same? Ought I not to pray every where? Yes doubtlesse; Gen. 28 18.19. this is my duety. In the field I must build him a Bethel, with the Patriarch Iacob; and there must I pray. Io. 18. [...] In the garden I must follow my blessed Redeemer; and pray where hee prayed, who satisfied his father for the transgression of Adam committed in the garden. In my chamber I must imitate the prophet Daniel; Dan. 6.10. Reu. 3.12. and my windowes, mine eyes being open toward Ierusalem, the new Ierusalem, the vision of peace, I must kneele upon my knees, and pray and give thanks before my God. In my bed I must pray with sicke Hezekiah, 2. King 20.2. who turned his face to the wall, and prayed unto the Lord. Thus in the field, in the garden, in my chamber, in my bed I must pray; in every place; upon every opportunity. This is Saint Paul's command, that wee pray every where, 1. Tim. 2.8.lifting up holy hands. This is the exhortation of the Psalmist: Blesse the Lord in all places of his dominion: Ps: 103.22. 1. Cor. 1.2. And Saint Paul sendeth salutations to all that in every place call upon the name of Iesus Christ our [Page 88] Lord; both theirs (says hee) and ours. This then I must doe likewise; else, though my bed be ready for mee, yet I shall not be ready for my bed: for though that be made, I may be undone. I must not thinke to be refreshed by the elder brother of death, and forget the younger. I know nothing to the contrarie, but that my bed may be my grave; in which (like unto the Princes of Babylon, and het wisemen, her Captaines, and her rulers, and her mighty men) I may sleepe a perpetuall sleepe, Ier: 51.57.and not awake. I will therfore embalme my selfe with my teares, while I am yet alive; before I climb up into my bed, which may prove my grave. I will dye with ease, if dye I must; or I will sleepe in quiett, if sleepe I may; for either whereof, or for both I will fitt, and prepare myselfe by a sorrow for mine offences. I will un-dresse my soule, and dis-robe her of all the new, but filthy, attire of sinne, which this day shee hath put on: & away will I throw those polluted clothes, hoping they shall never be worne againe. I will un-brace, I will open my bosome; and there will I find the lurking iniquities, which slunke in by day: and when I have found them, away they shall trice, they shall be gone; for I must keepe noe roome for such treacherous guests. The Sunn is set as if (mee think's) it were ashamed to behould the follies which this day I committed. The [Page 89] flattering darkenesse seemes to offer mee a mantle, to hide mine enormities; and a worse darknesse then this, even that of ignorance, would rake them up in silence. But this must not be endured; for if I winke with mine eyes that I might not see my follies, I must not imagine that my willfull darknesse, can vayle the eyes of my all-seeing God. The eyes of the Lord are in every place, Prov. 15.3.behoulding the evill, and the good. Thus God will doubtlesse see mine imperfections: but so must I too; and for them I must weepe, 'till I can see [...]oe more. I must view them with a mistie, drizeling, dropping eye; with sadnesse & sorrow; lest hee behould them with an eye of anger, & revenge. They must be seene by mee, and be bewayled by mee; in sadnesse they must; or else I shall never see my God with joy; & rejoycing. I will therfore sitt downe, and consider with my selfe, and examine my selfe how I have spent the day; before I betake my selfe to the rest of the night. I will examine my conscience by certaine Quaere's; & make it render mee answers to these demaunds.
- 1. At what time, in the morning, did I arise from my bed?
- 2. What first did I?
- 3. How devoutly prayed I?
- 4. What Scripture read I?
- 5. How did I understand it?
- [Page 90]6. How did I meditate upon it?
- 7. How did I practise it?
- 8. What businesse did I?
- 9. How lawfull was my imployment?
- 10. How diligently did I follow it?
- 11. To what end, and purpose did I it?
- 12. What thoughts entertained I?
- 13. What companie kept I?
- 14. What good words spake I?
- 15. What bad words uttered I?
- 16. How moderately, and how thankfully did I cate, and drinke?
- 17. What recreation tooke I?
- 18. How lawfull was it?
- 19. How long did it continue?
- 20. Was it not affected with too much delight?
- 21. By it was I made more apt for my vocation?
- 22. How free from offending others, did I demeane my selfe?
- 23. How did I benefit my neighbours both in words, and deedes?
- 24. What reliefe did I afford to the poore?
- 25. With what singlenesse, & privacy gave I it?
- 26. How often prayed I?
- 27. With what zeale, and devotion?
- 28. What ould sinns thought I on?
- 29. With what sorrow, and contrition?
- 30. With what holy desire of revenge upon my selfe?
- [Page 91]31. What particular sinne did I especially repent of?
- 32. What cōfort had I, in that repentance?
- 33. How carefull was I to avoyd temptations, either to that, or other offences?
- 34. What new sinne this day hath beene added to mine account?
- 35. What ould offence hath beene new finned over?
- 36. What teares have I shed for it?
- 37. What sighes, and groanes have I sent to heaven for pardon for it?
- 38. The Sunne is sett Eph: 4.26.Is it not gone downe on my?
- 1. Wrath?
- 2. Envy?
- 3. Uncharitablnesse?
- 4. Ungodlinesse?
LOrd, how wearie am I in the searching out of my sinnes, who have beene too too much delighted in the acting of them! How doe I droope, and retch, eagerly desiring to take my rest, before I have yet summed up mine account! O that my heart had a pulse as audible as hath the clock; and that it would strike both truely, and lowdly whensoëver I offend; that I might heare it; that I might seele it; that I might know it; that so I might repent! [Page 92] Though God created darknesse, Gen: 1.5. Ps: 104 20. and called it Night: though hee maketh darknesse, and it is night, wherein all the beasts of the forrest doe creepe forth: yet hee created not the darknesse of mine understanding. O that all the beasts of the forrest, all the sinnes of my heart would now creepe forth, that I might see them in their ugly shapes, and toyle them in my griefe, or drowne them in my sorrow! Hee that (I know) doeth see them, I as well know doeth loath them. Ps: 139.12. The darknesse hideth not from him, but the night shineth as the day: the darknesse and light to him are both alike. Hee who in the night commanded both the Manna, Num: 11.9. and the deaw to fall upon the campe of the Israëlites, can (if hee please) command the deaw of his grace to fall this night upon my sinfull soule; and with his celestiall Manna hee can so refresh my inward man, that I may as well live unto him, as by him. Hee can leade mee, Ex: 13.21. hee can goe before mee as hee did before his people by day in a pillar of a clowde, to leade mee the way; and by night in a pillar of fire, to give mee light to goe by day, and night. Lord, with thy people of Israel, I travaile through the wildernesse of this world: Let the fire of thy love, ô Christ, leade mee through the darknesse of this present life; that so when these dayes of my sinne shall be finished, Ps: 56.13. I may reigne with thee, in the light of the living.
About this time it was, 2. Sam. 11.2. that David arose [...]rom off his bed, now I am preparing to goe [...]to mine; even in the evening tide: and hee [...]alked upon the roofe of the Kings house; and [...]om the roofe hee saw Bathsheba, washing herselfe; and by the eye hee was betrayed to the [...]ct of adulterie. His eyes were quick, and [...]en to wickednesse, which by the time of the night should rather have beene ready to draw the curtaines. What? Did shee purposely wash her selfe, that shee might be the more uncleane? The more royally defiled? Did [...]ee purposely arise, that hee might dange [...]ously fall; and that, not from the roose of the house of the King, but from the statutes, [...]nd ordinances of the most high God? O, [...]ee thinks, 't is but shifting the sexe, and in something I resemble that fowle adulterer. Proudly I doe walke in my thoughts, as it were upon the roofe of the King's house. My conscience, my soule is my Bathsheba, fowle and polluted; but I wash it with my teares; & yet, Lord how apt am I to tempt her to uncleanesse worse then shee hath formerly beene defiled with. I am that very David: 1. Sam. 19.11. my sinne is Saul, that watcheth to slay mee: but ô let my Michal, my soule tell mee, that if I save not my life to night, to morrow, yea this night before to morrow, I shall be, I may be, slaine. To night let mee therfore drowne all my Sauls, all mine iniquities in my teares; [Page 94] lest, Iob 17.13. before the morning, the grave be mine house, and I make my bed in the darknesse. Mee think's, this very evening putts mee in mind of my mortality; for the Psalmist tell's mee, Ps: 104.23. that man goeth forth unto his worke, and to his labour untill the evening: and in that evening may be as well the cloasing of eyes for an eternall, as a temporarie-sleepe. When I looke out at my window, Lord how pale the Moone appeares at the sight of a sinner. O how the starres doe seeme to winke, and as it were, to shut their eyes when I gaze upon them, as if it made their brighter eyes even ready to water, to behould the dry ones of so remorselesse an offender. By the cleerenesse of their sparkling fires they seeme to looke thorow mee; and by their wonderfull numbers, in a silent arithmetick, they tell mee of mine infinite, innumerable offences. When thus with bashfullnesse, I am enforced to shut my casement againe, and looke back in my chamber, mee think's this very candle tell's mee the vanitie of my sinfull condition. Even like unto this, are all my best, and most glorious actions: they are composed of nothing but tallow, & filth: and though they make a goodly, and resplendent shew to the world; yet doe they stinke in the nosetrills of the great Creatour. This burnes; and I consume, and wast away. This I may suffer to burne, untill [Page 95] all the matter be consumed, and spent, [...]r else I may extinguish, and put it out at [...]y pleasure. Iust so may my God deale [...]kewise with mee. Hee may spare mee upon [...]arth, Ps: 32.4 untill my moisture be like to the [...]routh in summer: or hee may putt mee out [...]resently; this night; at the very instant when [...] extinguish this enlightening flame. That which nourisheth this light, is apt to destroy [...], if I but turne it upside downe: so my meats, [...]nd my drinkes are apt to destroy mee with [...]loying, with surfeits. Without this artificiall brightnesse, mine eye cannot fixe it selfe upon any object, or distinguish of colours; and yet, what is this to the light of the Sunne; or that, [...]o the brightnesse of my God? Lord, what an [...]ncouth thing it is, to be in darknesse! Yet thus [...]ny God (if hee had so decreed) might all-ways ways have punished mee; & have taken from [...]nee the sight of mine eyes. Thus, yea much worse then thus, may hee justly be revenged on mee too; and for my deedes of darknesse, hee may throw mee into utter darknesse, where [...]hall be weeping, and gnashing of teeth. Mat: 8.12. 1. Sam. 28.8. Surely Saul did not know this power of God; or hee did not remember it, when hee disguised himselfe, and put on other raiment, and went, hee [...]nd two men with him and came to the witch of Endor, by night; and prayed her to divine unto him by the familiar Spirit, and bring up Samuel againe, to answer his demaunds. O, that [Page 96] Spirit is the Devill, and that Devill is too familiar; and yet, how apt am I with Saul, rather to consult with him, and to follow his suggestions, then to apply my selfe to the oracles of my God! This present night, for ought that I know, may be as sad, & dismall to mee, as that was to the Egyptians, when Pharach rose up in the night, Ex: 12.30.hee and all his servants and all the Egyptians; and there was a greate cry in Egypt for there was not a house, where there was not one dead. But, to prevent the feare of such a horrid judgment, I will sue for compassion; and beg of my God, that insteed of destroying mee; or any of this house with a sudden destruction, hee will this night rather not onely slay my first borne, mine originall sinne; but allso all the abortive issue of mine actuall transgressions: And, though the cry be greate because my sinfull selfe am unwilling to leave them, or they mee; yet I will pray, that the destroying Angel may come, and destroy them; that so my selfe, my poore soule may be preserved alive. Such a destruction as this would be my best preservation; and such a slaughter would purchase my rejoycing. These sinnes are mine enemies, and those enemies whose ruine and subversion I am bound to pray for. I will therfore humbly beseech my powerfull preserver to slay them, to cutt them off speedily, presently, without any longer delay. And [Page 97] that my prayers may be more effectuall, they shall joyne with my teares in my humblest supplication for a freedome from these ene [...]ies. I will imitate David; Ps: 42.3 and my teares shall be my meate day, and night. It is but [...]ustice, that these eyes which have wandered [...]fter enticing objects, should be punished with the smart of brinish teares. With such weeping eyes will I behould mine offences, and on them will I looke as now I doe upon [...]his burning Light; that so, like unto this, [...]hey may appeare glaring, and multiplyed; even greater by farre through the clowdines of mine eyes, then otherwise I should view [...]hem. The eye is commonly a teacher of mer [...]y; for when it is fixed on an object full of dis [...]resse, it presently invite's the heart to compassion. The eye of my God is never shutt; never weary of pittying; allthough both mine eyes, and my compassion allso are seldome open. Therfore mine eye shall weepe; and when I weepe, his eye will pittie: My heart shall sigh, and his heart will commiserate: My whole selfe shall wholly offer up it selfe to him, in my devotions; and then, I am assured, hee will embrace mee in his armes; and watch over mee by his protection. I will weepe for my sinnes; I will grieve for the offences of the day that is past: and weeping, & grieving, I will addresse my selfe to the keeper of Israel, Ps. 121.4.who neither slumbereth, nor sleepeth, & thus I will say:
The Evening prayer.
OMniscient God, who hast seene the offences which this day hath produced; and for them mightest justly throw mee into the land of darknesse; Vouchsafe, I besiec [...] thee, to behould the teares of a repenting prodigall. The sinnes which I have committed I cannot number; nor can I vallew thy mercies in forbearing mee, so grievous an offendour. The day is gone, and the evening has teneth mee to my desired sleepe: Lord le [...] it be thy pleasure to bury my sinnes in th [...] darknesse of oblivion; and make mee afraid and ashamed to commit them any more by the light of the Sunne. Let thy Christ shine i [...] my heart, and warme my cold and chill [...] wed devotion; that with fervency, and zeale I may ever addresse my prayers unto thee. O let [...] settforth before thee, as incens [...] and the [...] [...]f my hands, be an evening sacrifice.Ps: 74.16.The [...], ô Lord, is thine, and the night is likewise thine: doe thou take mee this night, Ps: 91.5 vers. 6. into thy holy protection. Let m [...] not be afraid for the terro [...] by night; nor for th [...] pestilence that walketh i [...]arknesse. O tho [...] that hast made the Moon [...] and the Starres t [...] governe the night;Ps: 136 9.shine mercifully into m [...] darke, and polluted conscience; and revea [...] unto mee all the errours of my life, that a [...] the gate of thy mercy I may begge for remision. [Page 99] The Levites did thanke, 1. Chr. 23.30.and praise thee [...]s well at evening, as in the morning. Lord, [...]hough I am weake, though I am unworthy; [...]et so well as I can, so well as thou art plea [...]ed to enable thee thereto) I praise, and [...]lesse thy glorious name, for all thy mercies which thou hast shewed unto mee; and in [...]articular for thy protection this day which [...]s past. One Lamb, by thine appointment, Ex: 29.39. [...]as to be offered at evening day by day, by thy [...]hildren of Israel. My soule, ô Lord, should [...]e that Lamb, and my selfe an Israelite, but [...]y soule is blemished; I my selfe am rebel [...]ous. To thee therfore doe I offer (not my [...]olluted soule, as it is full of uncleanesse; but [...]ather) that innocent Lamb of thee my God [...]hich taketh away the sinnes of the world, most [...]umbly besieching thee to hearken unto him [...]terceding for mee; and by his death and [...]assion to graunt mee pardon for mine offen [...]es. First, seale unto my soule the remission [...]f my sinnes; and then let mee sleepe, and [...]est in thee. Refresh my wearied limbs with [...] comfortable repose: and graunt that I [...]ay neither offend thee by dreames, and fan [...]asies; nor displease thee with excessive, and [...]mmoderate sleepe. Preserve mee from the [...]angers of fire, stormes, tempests, theeves, [...]nd whatsoëver else may hurt my person, or [...]state. All is thine; doe tho [...] be the keeper, [...]nd protectour of all. Thou hast promised [Page 100] by thy Prophet, that the righteous shall ente [...] into peace,Is: 57.2and rest in their beds. Gratiou [...] father, cover mee with the righteousnesse o [...] Christ thy Sonne; and graunt mee the peac [...] of thy chosen, that I may rest in thee. Let m [...] sleepe be like that of the Church that my hea [...] may allways awake unto thee. Cant: 5 2. If this night [...] this sleepe shall be my last, Lord make it my best that I may awake in thine armes, and live in thy bosome. Ps: 4.8. Let mee lay mee do w [...] in peace, and sleepe; and doe thou, Lord, mak [...] mee dwell in safety. So be it, ô my father, for the merits and worthinesse of thy Sonne Iesus Christ my onely Lord, and Saviour, Amen.
part 2 The second part Of the Soliloquie. Fitted for the time of lying downe in the bed.
THe advice of David to his enemies, I take, mee think's, as spoken to my selfe; where hee bid's them to Stand in awe, Ps: 4.4.and sinne not; to commune with their owne hearts upon their beds, and be still. It is fitt that I likewise say my request with my mouth, and my petition with my heart, and pray upon my bed, & remember the day of death for ever. I have meditated [Page 101] upon the Evening; I have prayed for [...]otection: and, since that, I have disrobed [...]y selfe of the garments of the day: But, [...]ith them, have I put off mine offences? [...] doe not I intend to put them on againe [...] morrow, with the apparell of my body? [...]o this I am apt by nature: from this, ô my [...]od, deliver mee, by thy grace. My clothes [...]e layed by; and even now, mee thought, [...] could skarce hasten soone enough, to hide [...]ee in my bed from mine owne sight of [...]ine owne nakednesse. Lord, what a fearefull [...]ing is a guiltie conscience, which made Adam and Eve to see that they were naked, Gen. 3.7. [...]d guilty of their folly; and yet to make [...]t figge-leav'd aprons to hide their shame! [...]hus doe I blush at my selfe; and yet I have [...]ely those figge leaves to hide my sinnes from [...]e view of the world. vers. 8. But Adam and Eve [...]d themselves allso, even from the presence of [...]e Lord God: So doe I endeavour likewise [...]hen I am afraid to consider of, or unwilling [...] confesse unto him my manifold transgres [...]ons. My garments are off, the emblems [...]oth of my pride, and my poverty: for the [...]ormer is discovered in the richnesse of my [...]bes; and the latter in the necessity of them. Thus doe wee simple sinners weare the very [...]wells of the wormes, and the fleeces of the [...]nocent beastes, in the time of the day for [...]odestie, for heate, and for ornament: and in [Page 102] the night wee lye downe in the feathers of the fowles, for our ease, and our delight. Here now I am layed; here I am stretched out, as if I were created onely for ease, and repose. But, ô my drowzie eyes, watch yee a litle; and yee my thoughts, ponder awhile upon the place where I am layed.
Such a bed as this, hath beene a place of torment, Ex: 8.3 as well as ease; when the river brought forth froggs aboundantly among the Egyptians, which went up, and came into their houses, and into their bed-chambers; yea, and upon their very beds. Lord, how it make's mee startle but to name those loathsome creatures! and yet, these were they which were the Egyptians chamber-fellowes; these were their cold, and noysome bed-fellowes. Even thus have I deserved to be plagued too, as were those Egyptians: for how often hath God, by his Moses, and his Aaron, by his officers, and his ministers commanded mee to let my Israel, my soule goe serve the Lord; and yet, like hard hearted Pharaoh, I have still refused? But have I not a punishment, for my rebellion, worse then they had? For they had but the loathsome vermine to torment their bodies but I have worse; I have my ugly sinnes to torment my conscience, which croake so in my bosome, that I know not where to free my selfe from their hideous noise. But since these froggs have lived in the waters, and bred [Page 103] in the waters, which became blood, through the deepe dye of my hainous offences: I will therfore doe as once Elisha the Prophet did by the waters of Iericho; 2. King. 2.21. Ps: 38.18. Ex 12.31. vers. 32 I will cast salt into the waters, and heale them. I will confesse my wickednesses, and be sorrie for my sinnes. I will dispatch mine Israelitesse, and shee shall goe, and serve the Lord: her flocks allso, and her heards (my thoughts, and my meditations) shall goe and serve my God; that they may blesse mee allso. Then shall these crawling sinnes dye out of this house of my heart; Ex: 8.13.14. and I will gather them up together on heapes, and drowne them in my teares, because they have made such a stinke in the nostrills of my God.
Such a bed as this, hath beene the grave, & such sheetes the winding sheetes of diverse persons, who dreamed not of it. 2. Sam. 4.7. When Ishbosheth lay on his bed in his bed-chamber, the wicked & trecherous Rechab and Baanah smote him, and slew him and beheaded him. 2. Chr: 24.25. Ps: 89.19. So did Zabad & Iehozabad slay Ioash on his bed, and hee dyed. So it may happen unto mee too, unlesse the Lord be my defender, and the holy one of Israel my protectour. Solomon hath forbid the companie of such Rechabs and Baanahs, such Zabads, and Ichozabads saying, Prov. 4.14, vers. 16 Enter not into the path of the wicked; and goe not in the way of evill men: For thy sleepe not, except they have done mis [...]hiefe; and their sleepe is taken away unlesse they cause some to fall. Yet I have entertained [Page 104] such in my society; yea, I have enticed them, and hired them to the destruction even of my selfe. My sinnes, oh my sinnes are the murderers that are come unto my bed; and, without the mercy of him who destroyed death, will bring mee, 2. Pet. 2 3. even mee to destruction; my damnation shall not slumber.
Such a bed as this, 2. Sam. 13.5. hath beene the bed of incest, when Amnon, by the advice of Ionadab, lay downe on his bed, and made himselfe sicke, that his sister Tamar might be sent unto him by his tender, and compassionate father. O what hellish plotts were invented for the satisfaction of the lust-sick adulterer! Hee was but to counterfeit a sicknes, who yet was wounded at the heart: and shee who both by obedience to her father, and love to her brother was ready to dresse the dish hee required, was overcome at length by the scorching flames of his incestuous furie. Heb. 13 4. That bed which is honourable in the state of mariage, yet not unlesse it be kept undefiled, was made the torment of a sister un wedded: and hee who could not enjoy her by the rules of religion, forced her to his appetite by the violence of his hands. But as the act was fowle, so the effect was revengfull; yea and even the innocent suffered for the villanie of the rasisher; in so much as Amnon hated her exceedingly; 2. Sam. 13.15.so that the hatred wherewith hee hated her, was greater then the love [Page 105] wherewith hee hath loved her. Have not I beene sick with Amnon too? Have not I longed, and pined, and lingered after unlawfull pleasures, and wicked delights? What though they grew not into the height of incest, or adulterie of the body? My poore soule, that was a virgin, hath beene ravished, hath beene deflowred with delusions; and at length hath beene conquered by the violence of the tempter. O my God, doe thou be pleased to put such an enmitie hereafter betweene the tempter and the sinner that my soule may hence forward abhorre those suggestions, as the sated ravisher did his sister; that the hatred wherewith shee shall hate them, may be greater then the love wherewith shee hath loved them.
Such a bed as this (or at least thus designed for a nest of repose) did Ahab lay him downe upon, and turned away his face, 1. King 21.4.and would eate noe bread, when hee was come into his house heavy, and displeased, because of the word which Naboth the Iezreelite had spoken unto him: for hee had sayd, I will not give thee the inheritance of my fathers. Here was trouble, and discontent; and presently tossing, and tumbling upon the bed; and all because a poore subject would not sell his litle vineyard to the greate King. All this was but for a litle spott of ground, so small, that it was not so much as a graine of the finest sand, to the mountaine [Page 106] of Ararat, in comparison of this globe, and fabrick of the earth. But I might have a Kingdome greater then the world, above the world, which I should not buy, but onely begge; & upon my humble suite it would be freely given mee: and yet though hithexto I have neglected it, I throw not my selfe upon my bed in a sad, and pensive discontent, because I have beene backward in sieking, and petitioning for it. But in steed of thus lying on my bed, into it I goe, and in it I lye downe, where I rather choose to sleepe away the thought of it, then in a holy ambition contrive the way to be possessed there of.
Such a bed as this did the harlot speake of, when shee enticed her lover, Pro: 7.16. saying, I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestrie, with carved worke, vers. 17with fine linnen of Egypt: I have perfumed my bed with myrrhe, aloes, and cynamon:vers. 18Come let us take our fill of love untill the morning; let us sollace our selves with love. O what enticements were there to wickedness! What provocations to uncleanesse! Richer were the coverings of the harlot's bed, and much more vallewable then was the person of the owner. Those perfumes were ordained more for necessity then delight; and yet the stinke of her wickednesse out-vyed the fragrancy of the myrrhe, and the cynamon. How, mee thinks, doe I, or (at least) should I loath the impudency of such a tempting adulteresse! [Page 107] What a staine is a harlot to our fraile sexe; when shee whose beauty should be discovered by the modesty of a blush, doe's shamefully importune her lover to uncleanes! And yet, such a one might I have beene too, had not the grace of my preserver made mee detest the offence. Even to such folly was I prone by nature; but from it am I withdrawne by the mercy of my God. The adulteresse Iezabel had made such use of the place of repose: just it was therfore that the Lord should cast her into a bed; Reu. 2.22.and them that committed adulterie with her into greate tribulation, except they would repent them of their deedes. The bed may be a place for pun [...]shment, as well as for ease: and those who defile it with uncleanesse may looke to be a burden unto it and it unto them in their diseases. It is but justice, that sinne should be punished in the very place where 't is committed. Let mee therfore examine my selfe: and if God in mercy hath preserved mee from the pollution, let mee try if yet there lurke not an intent in the thought. Yet here I must not stay: I must consider with my selfe that there is a spirituall fornication too, as well as a corporall; and that idolatrie is a spirituall adulterie. Thus upon a loftie, Is: 57.7and high mountaine had Iudah sett her bed; and thither went shee up, to offer sacrifice. Thus the Babylonians came to idolatrous Aholibah into the bed of love;Eze. 23 17.and they defiled her [Page 108] with their whoredome, and shee was polluted with them. If I am free from this adulterie, I must blesse the Lord my God, the jealous God, Ex: 20.3. who sayd in his commandement, Thou shalt have none other Gods but mee. If I have beene guilty, I will besiech him with my teares to remitt mine offences; and through his grace to preserve mee from a future relapse.
On such a bed as this doth the wicked usually devise his mischiefe; Ps: 36.4 when hee setteth himselfe in noe good way, nor abhorreth that which is evill. Against such did the prophet cry out, and say, Mich. 2 [...]. Woe unto them that devise iniquity, & worke evill upon their beds: when the morning is light they practise it, because it is in the power of their hands. From this I feare, I have not beene free: for have noe wicked purposes, have noe sinfull devices beene forged, ben contrived in my bed? When my meditations should have beene fixed, and fastened upon my God, have I never entertained the suggestions of the Devill? Have I never prided my selfe in the richnesse of the ornaments of my chamber, and my bed? In the coverings of the walls, the curious hangings? In the deckings of the bed, the curtaines and vallences? Have not my desires beene wandering after the furniture of a King, Ect. 1.6. even King Ahasuerus; who had white, and greene, and blew hangings, fastened with [Page 109] cords of fine linnen, and purple to silver rings, and pillars of marble? Have I not wished, for his beds of gold, and silver, upon a pavement of red, and blew, and white, and black marble? Or hath not my bed beene the bed of wantonnesse, or immoderate ease? Have I not beene like unto those against whom the Prophet pronounceth the woe, saying, Amos. 6.1. vers. 4. Woe unto them that are at ease in Sion: That lye upon beds of ivory, and stretch themselves upon their couches, and eate the lambes out of the flock, and the calves out of the midest of the stall. I must not be too indulgent to my selfe. Too much selfelove may prove my destruction. The sinnes which I am guilty of must not be denyed; neither may they lye drie with mee in my bed. O noe: Therfore lest I sleepe too much; or they have rest too much; or the devill entertainment too much; (that uncleane spirit, Mat: 12.43. whose custome it is, in drie places to sieke his rest) I am resolved, with David, Ps. 6.6. that every night I will make my bed to swimme and will water my couch with my teares. Every night shall be a night of sorrow, a night of weeping for my sinns, Ps. 30.5 that so my God may send mee joy in the morning. Apt I am to distrust my God, & to fixe my thoughts upon carking and caring for the things of to morrow. Nor am I single in the offence: too many are apt to sacrifice to their owne shallow, & titular wisedome; choosing rather to depend upon their owne [Page 110] discretion, then to rely upon the providence of the greate disposer. Eccl: 8.16. Such there are indeede that neither day, nor night doe see sleepe with their eyes and (like the wife in the Proverbs) their candle goeth not out by night. Prov: 31.18. But I must remember the command of my Redeemer, and Take noe thought for the morrow; Mat: 6.34.for the morrow shall take thought for the things of it selfe. Sufficient unto the day is the evill thereof. And as I may not distrust the providence of my God; so neither will I, nor may I boast of to morow; Prov: 27.1.for I know not what a day, or a night may bring forth: But I will besiech my God to give mee content with what soëver hee shall send. Mercy I will beg for, howsoëver hee shall dispose of meé and comfortable sleepe, if hee spare mee life. I will besiech him, that if through a disturbed fant'sie. I be molested with dreames; even in those dreames hee will be pleased to open mine eares, Iob: 33.16.and seale mine instruction. If the master, and builder of this house of clay, the greate Creatour of heaven and earth, shall come, and this night shall call mee to judgment; Ps: 139.13. Graunt ô my God (ô thou who diddest forme mee and fashion mee in the wombe of my mother) that I may watch in thee, for the comeing of thy selfe; whether it shall be at mid-night, or at the cock-crowing, or in the morning; Mat. 13.35.that though thou comest suddenly, yet thou find mee not sleeping. And now I [Page 111] am lyeing downe, let mee not be afraid: Prov: 3.24.yea make mee lye downe, and my sleepe to be sweete unto mee. Thus will I close mine eyes with sorrowfull teares: and thus will I rely upon the protection of my God.
part 3 The third part Of the soliloquie. To be used at the time of awaking in the night.
O What a trouble is this, to one desirous to sleepe! Thus to tosse, and tumble this way, and that way! Thus to long to sleepe, and not be able to sleepe! I am sure that I did sleepe; but I am not sure when I shall sleepe againe. Lord, how silent is the night! How quiet are all things, but my disturbed selfe! How slowly doth the clock number the howres! It strike's, one, two &c: and yet I sleepe not. It was the complaint of holy Iob unto the Lord, saying, Iob: 7.13. Vers. 14. When I say, my bed shall comfort mee; my couch shall ease my complaint: Then thou sharest mee with dreames and terrifiest mee through visions. Mee think's I could partly be contented to be troubled as Iob was; with dreames, and visions; so that I might be sure to have the benefit of the sleepe. Every thing [Page 112] that move's but gently, possesseth mee with feares. The watch-man of the night, which awaked the Apostle out of the sleepe of securitie, disturb's mee with chaunting out the disisions of the night. But is there noe way to be sure either to sleepe sweetely, or to awake contentedly? Is: 57.21. There is noe sleepe, noe rest, noe peace, saith my God, to the wicked. If I am wicked, I cannot sleepe: or if I doe, it is rather a cessation from labour, then a contented repose: for the awaking conscience disturbes the fantsie with hideous apparitions. Let mee a litle enter into my selfe, & consider whether I was prepared for sleepe, before I applyed my selfe unto it? Did I enter into my bed with divine meditations; and make up the account of my former life, before I drew the curtaines of mine eyes? Certainly my God awake's mee, that I may either repent of some sinne which I have formerly forgotten; or praise him for some mercy, for which I was not thankfull. If thus, while I awake, my thoughts be divine; whensoever I sleepe, my rest shall be comfortable. I will therfore take up the confidence of David, who said that his soule should be satisfied as with marrow, Ps: 63.5and fatnesse; and his mouth should praise the Lord with joyfull lipps, when hee remembred God upon his bed; Vers. 6.and meditated on him in the night watches. I must even doe as David did, if I hope for the blessing [Page 113] which David had. Yea and so I will, with the assistance of him, Eccl. 5.12. who causeth the sleepe of the laborious to be sweete.
The Prophet, mee thinks, seemeth to challenge the Allmighty, when hee saith Thou hast proved mine heart, Ps. 17.3and visited mee in the night: thou hast tryed mee, and shalt find nothing in mee: nothing evill; nothing amisse. Lord, though I cannot acquitt my selfe in the words of that Prophet, yet I will resolve with that Prophet; I am utterly purposed that my mouth shall not offend. Surely that blessed Psalmist had often discourse, and conference with his God in the times of the night: and doubtlesse hee was then most free for the service of his maker, when most hee was freed from the affaires of his subjects. O how comfortably hee does cheere up himselfe, when hee saith, I have remembred thy name, Ps. 119.55.ô Lord, in the night; and have kept thy law! Yet this was not the practise of David onely Noe: I find that it is a blessing which God in mercy, hath sent to others allso, of his servants. Is. 26.1 The Prophet Isaiah telleth Iudah of a day that should come, when this song should be sung in their land, wee have a strong citty; vers. 9.salvation will God appoint for walls, and bulwarkes, &c. With my soule have I desired thee in the night: yea, with my spirit within mee will I seeke thee early. O what a blessed time was this to Iudah! O how sweete is the, [Page 114] remembrance of God in the night! It is sweete indeede to remember him in the night; to sieke him in the night: but then 'tis doubtlesse full of horrour to sieke, and not to find him. And yet thus God threatneth Israël, and Ephraim, and Iudah; the Priests, and the people, Hos: 5.6. and the Princes, that They should goe to sieke the Lord; but they should not find him; because hee would with-draw himfelfe from them. And the Church complaineth that, Cant: 3.1. By night on her bed, shee sought him whom her soule loueth: shee sought him, but shee found him not. Alasse, how came it to passe, that her beloved would not be found? Surely hee was not talking (allthough thus Elyah mocked the Priests of Baal, 1. King 18.27. concerning their dumb, and stupid idoll) nor pursueing, nor in a journie; nor yet slept, that hee had neede to be awaked. Is: 65.1 Noe, noe: hee that was found of them that sought him not, would not without cause deny himselfe to her, who sought him with diligence. It was his promise to the captives in Babylon, that after seaventie yeeres they should returne to Ierusalem,Ier: 29.10. vers. 12and should call upon him, and goe and pray unto him, and hee would hearken unto them: They should seeke him, vers. 14and find him, when they should search for him, with all their hearts. How then came it to passe, that his Spouse did misse of him; especially in the bed, where shee might justly expect him? Alasse, alasse, [Page 115] shee thought her selfe so sure of her beloved, that shee layd her selfe downe, as on the bed of ease: but supposing him to be with her, shee missed his companie; and though shee sought him by solitary meditation, yet shee found him not. In the night shee sought him, in the night of her afflictions; but shee found him not; not presently; & that because shee neglected his grace when hee offered it unto her; or because shee kept it not carefully, when hee gave it unto her. Yet, Is. 54.8 though in a litle wrath hee hid his face from her for a moment; Cant. 3.4. shee afterwards found him, whom her soule loved. And why then should not I hope to find him too, though in my bed; though in the night? It is not through sloath, that I seeke him here: but 't is in the fervency of my affection, that now awaking, I would find him here. If yet I cannot find him here, if thou hidest thy selfe from mee, ô my sweetest Iesus, & that either in judgment, for mine offences; or in thy love, that thou mayst heighten, and inflame mine affection, I will doe as the Israelites did, at the newes which was brought them by those that were sent to search the land; I will lift up my voyce; & cry: yea, Num. 14.1. Ps. 6.6. with the people too, I will weepe all night. Or, with the Prophet David, All the night will I make my bed to swimme, and water my couch with my teares. Or with Samuel for Saul; 1 Sam. 15.11. I will cry unto God all the night. Or as King Darius [Page 116] for Daniel in the Lyons denne; Dan: 6.18. I will passe the night fasting, while my sleepe goeth from mee. Or as David againe, when his child was sick; I will fast and lye all the night upon the carth; 2. Sam. 12.16. rather then I will not find thee, ô my Saviour. Thus when I have found him whom my soule loveth, then untill the day breake, and the shadowes fly away, Cant. 2 17.hee shall turne, and be like a Roe, or a young Hart upon the mountaines of Bether. Weepe indeede I may; weepe I must; for I sent my faith, as a Spie, to the promised land, to the celestiall Canaan; and shee, through her weakenesse and feare, hath brought me word that the citty is walled, Num. 13.26. as if I could not, or should not enter: But, with Caleb, vers. 30 I will resolve that I wil g [...]e up and possesse it; for I know that, through the assistance of my Iesus, I shall be able to conquer. Weepe I must, 1. Sam. 15.11. with Samuel, for my Saul, for my poore soule, which hath turned back from following my God, and hath not performed his commandements. But I will not onely weepe, but will allso question my Saul, vers. 14 and say, What meaneth this bleating of the sheepe in mine eares, and this lowing of the oxen which I heare? What meaneth the noise of my lesser offences; and the roaring of the greater, which are larger, and fatter then the bulls of Basan? I will thus examine my soule; and then I will cry for her, vers. 24 untill shee shall confesse that shee hath sinned, and transgressed the commandements of [Page 117] God. Weepe I must, with King Darius, for my Daniel; for my heart, Dan. 6.2. Ps. 57.4 1. Chr. 12.18. Ier. 50.17. 2. Sam. 12.15. vers. 22 which is the chiefe of my Presidents; for 't is in the lyon's denne; my soule is among lyons; it is wounded with lyons, with such mighty sinnes, that their faces are as were David's worthies, even like the faces of lyons. These lyons, these Kings of Assyria and Babylon have scattered this my Israel, and driven her away, and allmost devoured her. Weepe I must, with David, for my child, my darling soule; for it is stricken, it is very sick: yea I will fast, and I will weepe; for who can tell whether God will be gratious to mee, that the child may live? Why should not such thoughts as these entertaine the howres, which are borrowed from my slumbers? Dan. 2.29. King Nebuchadnezzar had thoughts came into his mind upon his bed (for so Daniel styleth his dreames) what should come to passe hereafter. 2. Chr. 7.12.The Lord appeared to Solomon by night, after his dedication of the tēple, & sayd unto him, I have heard thy prayer, and have chosen this place to my selfe, for an house of sacrifice. Iacob had a vision by night; Gen. 28. 12. vers. 13 vers. 16 and in a dreame was promised the land where hee flept. Thus, sleeping or waking, I hope that it shall be truely sayd, The Lord is in this place. True it is, that the night is the presenter of dismall apparitions to diverse persons; and the absence of the Sunne in many is the discoverer of the weakenesse of faith. But surely those that feare the shadow of a fant'sie, [Page 118] doe not truely feele the power of faith, which (according to the Apostle) is the substance of things hoped for; Heb. 11 1.and the evidence of things not seene. The diseases of the body make sick men sensible of the want of the Sunne; for to them the nights administer both anguish, and melancholie. Ps. 77.2. Iob. 7.3 David's sore ranne in the night, and ceased not; his soule refused comfort. Iob was made to possesse moneths of vanity; and wearisome nights were appointed to him: His bones were pierced in the night-seasons; C. 30.17.and his sinewes tooke noe rest. Yea, as well the healthfull, as the sick, may find the night a producer of affliction: even those that are most laborious, Eccl. 2.22. and industrious in the world. What hath man of all his labour (saith the Preacher) and of the vexation of his heart, wherein hee hath laboured under the Sun? vers. 23For all his dayes are sorrowes, and his travaile, griefe: yea, his heart taketh not rest in the night. To the sick, and to the healthfull; in time of peace, & in time of watre the night hath often beene a time of sorrow. 2. King 19.35. Once did the Lord send his Angel, which went and smote in the campe of the Assyrians an hundred fourescore and five thousand: & when they arose early in the morming, behould they were all dead corpses. Thus have miseries siezed on diverse in the silent night: and yet that very time which hath beene to some the sad producer of woe and distresse; to others it hath brought the tidings of joy, and pleasant [Page 119] content. C. 7.3. Surely the foure Lepers were not [...]gnorant of it; who (resolving not to sit in the gate of Samaria untill they dyed, nor [...]o enter into the citty for feare of the famine) went into the campe of the Syrians, vers. 5. whom the Lord had made to flie in the twylight: & there the foure poore men did eate, vers 7. vers. 8.and drinke; and caried away thence both silver, and gold, and raiment, in greate aboundance. Iud. 19 9. The night was a time of rejoycing to the Levite, when hee stayed to be merrie with the father of his contubine: but afterwards it became a time of woe to him, when the Gibeathites tooke the concubine from him, vers. 25and abused her all night untill the morning; and untill the day began to spring, did not let her goe. Thus is not God confined to times, nor enforced to the rules, and dictates of nature. Hee can, according to nature, somtimes render us a night of sorrow: and somtimes againe, besides, or above, or against the practise of nature, hee can produce light out of darknesse; and comfort and content, when wee expect our disturbance. For my part therfore (seeing that my rest departeth from mee; and that at this time when others securely take their repose, mine eyes are unapt to close with my slumbers) I will make this night a night of sorrow, that so I may hope for a morning of comfort; I will grieve for my sinnes, [Page 120] that I may reioyce in my Saviour. I wi [...] take this time, C. 6.27 as Gideon did, to thron [...] downe the altar of Baal; because peradventure, like unto him, I could not doe it by day, for feare of displeasing. That altar of Baal is erected in my heart: from this heart therfore even now will I seperate it; and downe it shall goe, away it shall be throwne; that so in the roome of it I may presently erect an altar for my God. I will take this time, as Ioshua was commanded, Ios. 1.8 to meditate in the booke of the lawe, which shall not depart from my mouth; but I will meditate therein day and night. 2. Pet. 1.9. Even that sure word of prophesie will I meditate upon, whereunto (as saith Saint Peter) I shall doe well, if I take heede, as unto a light that shineth in a darke place untill the day-dawne, and the day-starre arise in my heart. I will take this time, as David did; and will call to remembrance my song in the night; Ps. 77.6 or rather not my song, but God's; for Iob complaineth, Iob 35.10. that None saith where is God my maker, who giveth songs in the night? Not such a song as Ephraim used, for those were howlings insteed of songs; yea and howlings without comfort, because therein was noe mention of God: for thus the Lord complaineth of them, by the mouth of his Prophet, Hos. 7.14. Ps. 147 7. saying, They have not cryed unto mee with their heart, when they howled upon their beds. But my song shall be a thanksgiving, [Page 121] even unto my God: not short, not of a [...]all continuance, like the gourd of Ionah, Io: 4.10. vers. 7. [...]hich came up in a night, and perished in a night: [...]oe; I would not have a worme in the morning, [...]hen I arise, to smite my joy, and cause it to [...]ither. This were but to sieke my God in the [...] me of distresse, and to forget him in my [...]rosperitie. But I will resolve, with David: Ps: 145.1. [...] will extoll thee, ô my God, and King; and [...] will blesse thy name for ever, and ever: Every day will I blesse thee; vers. 2. and I will praise thy name for ever, and ever. Ier. 49.9. Though theeves should come this night upon mee, and thinke to destroy 'till they had enough: though wicked thoughts, and evill suggestions of Satan, should seeke to robbe mee of my song; yet will I rely upon my God, upon my Iesus, who sang a hymne before hee went up to the mount of Olives; Mat. 26 30. and him will I besiech that I may not be robbed, be deprived of this comfort in the night. Mat: 25 6.At mid-night there was a cry of the comeing of the bride-groom, Behould the bride-groome cometh; goe yee out to meete him. What know I, but this may prove that very night unto mee? My God may come, and call for my soule. Graunt therfore, ô blessed Father, that (with the wise virgins) I may be readie, vers. 10and goe in with the bride-grome to the mariage, that the doore may not be shut against mee: and that so I may passe from this song in the night of miserie [Page 122] upon earth, to that heavenly quire of Saints, and Angells, Reu: 22 5. where is noe night, nor neede of a candle, noe nor of the light of the Sun; that thou, ô my God, mayst give mee light, and that I may reigne for ever, and ever. Amen.
subject 5 THE FIFTH SUBJECT. Teares in the Day.
The Soliloquie. Divided into three parts, and fitted for the time. • 1 Of awaking early in the morning. , • 2 Of being newly arisen. , and • 3 Of preparing to goe to dinner.
part 1 The first part Of the Soliloquie. Fitted for the time of awaking early in the morning.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation:
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
THe night is farre spent;Rom. 13.12.the day is at hand. I wish that the night of sinne were as neere a period; and the day of rejoycing, the day of eternall [Page 124] happinesse were as neere approaching. It is the promise of God, Reu: 2.26. that hee which overcometh, and keepeth the workes of Christ unto the end, to him shall be given power over the nations; vers. 28 and I will give him (saith Christ) the morning starre. If God be so early in his liberalitie, why should not I be as early in my devotions? I am now awaked, though yet I am some-what drowzie, and incline to sleepe againe, stretching my selfe in my lazie bed. But let mee heare Saint Paul speaking to mee, Rom. 13.11. and saying, Now it is high time to awake out of sleepe; for now is salvation neerer, then when wee believed. How's this? High time to awake? Surely the Apostle speake's it not to mee, for 't is yet very early; too soone to arise; for I heare noe noise, noe stirring; noe bodie's yet up; all is hush, and quiet. The bird which shaked a pillar of the church, Mat. 26 74. and crowed at his act, bid's mee good-morrow; and tell's mee 't is hardly the breake of day. Besides, the Prophet David tell's mee, Ps. 127 2. It is in vaine for us to rise up early, to sit up late, and to eate the bread of sorrowes; for so wee give our beloved sleepe: and why then should I delight in vanitie? Prov. 6 10.Yet a litle sleepe, therfore; a litle slumber; a litle folding of the hands to sleepe. But hearke! What's that? Mee think's I heare some-body call, and say, How long wilt thou sleepe, vers. 9.ô sluggard. When wilt thou arise out of thy sleepe? Yes; I did [Page 125] heare some-body call so, indeede. It was none other but God himselfe by the mouth of King Solomon. Even the same who telleth mee, that If I doe not arise, vers. 11 then shall povertie come upon mee, as one that travaileth; and my want, as an armed man. c. 20.13 I must not love sleepe therfore, lest I come to povertie: but I must open mine eyes, and I shall be satisfied with bread. Well then; I'le rubb mine eyes; and rowze up my selfe, and bethinke my selfe of my businesse: but first I will thinke upon the first, upon the best; upon God. I have reason to give him the first, the chiefest roome in my meditations; because I layd mee downe, and slept; Ps. 3.5.and againe I am now awaked; and all this through the mercy, and goodnesse of the Lord, who sustained mee. Hee preserved mee, who neither slumbereth, Ps. 121.4. Ps. 44.23.nor sleepeth, allthough David cryeth out to him, and saith, Awake why sleepest thou, ô Lord? Arise; cast us not off for ever? But this was onely through the fervencie of his devotion, in a time of severe persecution, and affliction: for at another time, it was hee himselfe who confessed, Ps. 111.4. that Hee which keepeth Israel shall neither slumber, nor sleepe. Surely hee may more properly call out from heaven to mee, then David upon earth did to him in heaven, and say, Awake, why sleepest thou? Yea, & so indeede hee doeth; & promiseth mee, and offereth mee the morning starre [Page 126] to light mee: But it is upon condition, that I must first overcome. Overcome? What? Must I overcome my sleepe? That I have done. Must I over-come mine enemies? Those I am commanded to love. Mat. 5.44. Yet I must over-come mine enemies, my sinnes: and I must allso over-come my selfe, Ps. 18.28. the sinner; and then, I am sure, hee will light my candle, as hee did Davids. The Lord my God will inlighten my darknesse: hee will give mee comfort, joy, and prosperitie after my trouble. Nay, a candle shall not serve my turne: hee hath promised to give mee a starre, the morning starre, which shall both enlighten my soule with the brightnesse of divine knowledg, in this morning of a happinesse begunne; and allso enlighten mee hereafter, in the morning of the generall re-surrection, when my body shall be glorified together with my soule, & I shall shine as the starres for ever and ever. Dan. 12 3. Hee will give mee the morning starre to enlighten mee, not to torment mee. The prince of darknesse was once an Angel of light, and then even hee was a morning stame: but now I may say with the Prophet, Is. 14.12. verf. 13 How art thou fallen from heaven, ô Lutifier, sonne of the morning. How art thou cutt dowme to the ground which saydest in thine heart, I will exalt my throne above the starres of God! This starre, I hope, hee will not suffer to deceave mee, with his false, and deluding light: for his glaring [Page 127] is but a counterfeit light, and his leading tend's to the burning brimstone. Noe; hee will give mee a better starre; even him who came to be a light to lighten the Gentiles, Lu. 2.32.and to be the glorie of the people Israel: even the Prophet of the highest, C. 1.76 Vers. 79 who giveth light to them that s [...]tt in darknesse, and in the shadow of death. And who is that, but hee which professeth himselfe to be the roote, Reu. 22 16.and the off-spring of David; and the bright, and the morning starre. Hee himselfe hath shewed mee what I should doe: hee hath taught mee by his owne example, what dueties I should performe: for I find it recorded of him, that In the morning, Mar. 1.35.rising up early, a greate while before day, hee went out, and departed into a solitarie place, and prayed. So should I doe too: I should doe so now; for it is now about the same time; or, at most, it differeth not much. I will therfore arise, I will arise out of my sinnes; by his blessing I will arise out of them before day; even before the day of the Lord cometh; 2. Pet. 3 10. and I will goe out of them, or force them out of mee. I will depart from them into a solitarie place, and retire to my meditations; and be both solitarie, and sorrowfull for all the offences which I have committed: and then I will pray; I will pray for forgivenesse, through the meritts of him, who prayed so early. Or, if I am too weake to master my selfe in this holy resolution, I will besiech him, that I [Page 128] may be as Simon, Mar: 1.36.and those that were with him; that I may, at leastwise, follow after him. Surely hee can so illuminate my thoughts, that I may see thereby to performe my duety. It was that morning starre which enlightened David, and made him take up that holy resolution, Ps: 5.3. saying, My voyce shalt thou heare in the morning, ô Lord: in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will locke up. It was hee who enlightened him to put in practise that very resolution: for hee himselfe testifieth of himselfe, Ps: 130.6. saying, My soule wayteth for the Lord; more then they that watch for the morning; I say, more then they that watch for the morning. It was that morning starre, which enlightened the people, Luc: 21 [...]8. that they might all see to come to him early into the temple, to heare him. Ps: 119 147. It was that morning starre againe, which enlightened David, when hee prevented the dawning of the morning, and cryed; when hee hoped in his word. It was that morning starre which gave light unto Ioshua and the people, Ios. 6.15. vers. 20 when they compassed Iericho on the seaventh day, early, about the dawning of the day seaven times; after which, the wall fell downe flatt, so that the people went up into the citty, every one straite before him, and tooke the citty. So will I wayte for him: so will I prevent the dawning of the morning: so will I direct my prayer unto him: so will I heare him in his temple: and so will I encompasse Iericho, about the [Page 129] dawning of the day; the citty of Satan, the [...]trong hold of the Serpent; even mine owne [...]icked, and corrupted heart, which hath so [...]ong stood out against my God: and I will never leave compassing it with my teares, and my sighes, and my pensive and sorrowfull thoughts, untill the wall fall downe; untill the stonie rampard thereof yeeld unto the commandements of my Lord, and my maker. But (on the contrarie) certainly that morning starre did not give light to the companie which were in the ship with Saint Paul in the tempest, when hee was bound towards Rome: for they, Act: 27 29. fearing lest they should have fallen upon rocks, cast fowre ankers out of the sterne and wished for the day. True it is, that every one in a storme will wish for Christ, this morning starre: and ready they are to take their astro-labe, that so they may observe the height, and the distance of him: but yet are they apt to leave him in the tempest; and to trust to their owne cables, and ankers, which they cast out at the sternes of their ship; never considering the depth of the seas, & the fowlenesse of the anchorrage. Every Christian, even the most skillfull mariner, is apt to runne a shore upon the world; or to fall upon the leadges, and rocks of trouble, and temptation: but who ancoor's his hopes in Christ? Who fasteneth the flooke of his anchor in the wounds of the Crucified? Lord give mee such a faith in [Page 130] thee, that I may not believe in thee waveringly, or hope in thee weakely, or wish for thee faintly: but that I may at all times, and upon all occasions put my whole trust, and confidence in thee; Ps: 42.1 and say, with David, As the Hart panteth after the water-brookes; so panteth my soule after thee, ô God. Surely that morning starre did not give light to churlish Nabal, 1. Sam. 25.37. when, in the morning, after the wine was gone out of him, and his wife tould him all that was done, his heart dyed within him, and hee became as a stone. Alasse, every Nabel, every worldling can be jocound, and pleasant while they surfeit upon the vaine pleasures of this transitorie world: they can be merrie, and drunken, very drunken with the be-witching cup: and all the while, they are such sonnes of Belial, vers. 17that a man cannot speake to them: But if once, either by povertie, sicknesse, or any other calamitie they are awaked, and their Abigails, their consciences tell them that the most mighty hath girded his sword upon his thigh, Ps. 45.3with glorie and majestie, and is resolved to destroy them; then, like unto Nabal, even their very hearts dye within them, and are even as stones, for want of the comfort, and light of his morning starre. These are they who in the morning say, Deut: 28.67.would God it were evening! and at even they say, Would God it were morning, for the feare of their hearts wherewith they feare, and for the sight of their eyes which, then, [Page 131] they see; Iob: 24.17. for the morning is to them even as the [...]shadow of death: if one know them, they are in the terrours of the shadow of death. Therfore will I besiech that bright morning starre, Amos. 5.8. that hee will arise in my heart, that I may seeke him that maketh the seaven starres, and Orion, and turneth the shadow of death into the morning, and maketh the day darke with night; the Lord is his name.
This is the time, Iud: 16.2. when the Philistines thought to have killed Samson, after they had compassed him in, and layd waite for him all night in the gate of the citty of Gaza, and were silent all the night. Lord, if at any time I sleepe, if I sleepe in my sinnes (which doe thou ever prevent, as thou doest forbid it) how contented is Satan to let mee rest! How silent hee is, and will not disturbe mee! But hee sitteth in the gate, and watcheth; and if at any time I be awaked by my God, how doe's hee labour to destroy mee presently, with suggestions to despaire or presumption.
This is the time, when Moses was commanded by God to cary the two new tables of stone up to the Mount: Ex: 34.2. for God sayd unto him, Be readie in the morning, and come up in the morning unto mount Sinai; and present thy selfe there to mee, in the top of the mount. Why may not this in some kind seeme to be spoken by God to mee too? For I have one table at least, and I feare that it is stone too: [Page 132] but it is in his power to make it the fleshly table of my heart. 2. Cor. 3.3. O that hee would call mee! O that hee would draw mee up unto him, to the top of the mount, Hos. 11.4. with the bands of love; and that hee would doe it now, this morning; like as twice in one morning hee putt Moses in mind of the two tables! O that hee would write his law in this table of my heart, even with his owne finger, that I might not sinne against him!
This is the time when the Angells hastened Lot to goe out of Sodome. Gen. 19 15. It was, when the morning arose, that they said unto him; Arise, take thy wife, and thy two daughters which are here lest thou he consumed in the iniquitie of the citty. The blacknesse of the crimes of those lustfull citisens, eclypsed the Sunne: yet lest they should hope that their impieties could dazell the eyes of the all-seeing God, they had a light from heaven to discover his wrath. The sinnes of the people were retrograde to nature; and their just punishment proceeded therfore from causes not rendered by the practise of nature. The light body of the consuming fire was seene to descend; and the sulphurious flames which might have beene conceaved to arise from the troubled bowells of the earth, or from the land of darknesse, descended in a stormie gust from heaven. A mixed fire and stinke conlumed the transgressours: yet was not the choaking smell [Page 133] of the burning sulphur so offensive and loathsome, as the stench of their wickednesse. Thus the fire of their uncleanesse was revenged by the fire of tormenting brimstone: and just it was that the messengers of vengeance should discharge their office, whom the lewde people would not receave without a lustfull attempt of their fowle desires. Their punishment for their crimes began even in their offences; for it was noe small severitie to suffer them to continue in their violation of nature. Yet here it stayed not: for they lost their sight because they saw not their faults: and at even they wearied themselves to find the dore of that righteous man, vers. 11 being stricken with blindnesse by those ministers of revenge. vers. 23 This darke evening was yet but a presage of a gloomie morning: for the vengence fell when the Sun arose: and those horrid flashes of a blew and dazeling light, served onely to lend them a sight of their scorched neighbours, and so to increase, and heighten their torments. Assuredly, if I well consider it, I am not unlike to that Lot who was saved: for with the Sodomites I live; I am neighboured by the wicked. O but am I just, with Lot; and, with him, 2. Pet. 2 7. am I vexed with their uncleane, their filthie conversation? O that I might so resemble Lot, that I could avoyde the corruption of those, whose society I cannot shunne! Alasse, alasse, I am yet in [Page 134] every thing unlike unto him: for I sinne; I have a pronenesse to sinne with the Sodomites; yea and by nature I am as apt to give, as to follow an example; sometimes as ready to teach others how to offend, as sometimes to follow, and imitate their offences. But ô I wish, I earnestly begge, I humbly besiech my mercifull Lord to send his Angells, even this very morning, to bring mee out of the sinnes, and the societie of the Sodomites.
This is the time when the Angel of the Covenant said unto Iacob, Gen. 32 26. after the wrestling, Let mee goe, for the day breaketh: But Lacob answered, and sayd I will not let thee goe, except thou blesse mee. Howsoever, mee thinks, I should be like unto Iacob: and, if I have neglected wrestling this night with the Angel, yet now I should beginne. I should wrestle, and tugge, and strive, and hold fast by faith in my prayers, and my teares too, as Iacob did; and not suffer him to goe untill hee hath blessed mee. The Prophet assureth mee, Hos. 12 4. that hee had power over the Angel, and prevailed: hee wept, and made supplication to him. O so must I too; so will I too. But how can I possiblie either be a prince; or especially such a prince as Israel was; who, as a prince had power with God, Gen. 32 28.and with men; and hee prevailed, and was blessed? Well; 'tis so; I am resolved upon it; 'tis the right way. I will pray, and weepe; and weepe, and pray. I [Page 135] will begge with my teares; and I will begge with my tongue; and I will begge with all my heart. I will strive, and pray, and mourne, and [...]ry. It shall be a clowdie morning: it shall be a thick, muddie low'ring morning. Mee think's I beginne to feele a clowde even breake allready at mine eyes. O come forth, come forth a whole clowde of teares. Knitt your selves into blacknesse; and thicknesse. Be fruitfull; be pregnant: and when your time is come, be yee delivered in mine eyes. I am not yet risen: come quickly, and I my selfe will bring you to bed. 'Tis good, 'tis wholesome even thus to wash my sinfull eyes betimes in a morning. It is not fire, nor aire that is predominant in the eyes; but onely water. Surely then I will weepe, that I may see the cleerer, the better; not outwardly, but inwardly; not to looke downe-wards, but upwards, toward this blessing Angel. Ps. 6.7. Mine eye, with David's shall be consumed, because of griefe and then, I doubt not, but, I shall conclude with his joy, and truely say, vers. 8. The Lord hath heard the voyce of my weeping.
The second part Of the Soliloquie. Fitted for one that is newly arisen.
FAre-well that bed of ease, which would have betrayed mee both to sloath, and povertie. Fare-well to those curtaines, devised to obscure the morning's light. See, see, how that bewitching nest doeth yet retaine the print of my body; as if it longed to entice mee againe to my sloath; and wooed mee to make it the sepulcher of my living selfe. I am now up: and thanks let mee render to him that hath delivered mee once againe to the light of a morning. Gen. 1.5.Hee that called the darknesse Night, the light hee allso styled Day. Hee promised Noah when hee came out of the Arke, c: 8.22. that While the earth remaineth, seede time and harvest, cold and heate, summer and winter, Day and Night shall not cease. This his promise hee keepe's, Ps. 19.1 for The heavens declare the glorie of God; vers. 2.and the firmament sheweth his handie worke. Day unto Day uttereth speech; & Night unto night sheweth knowledg. Yea, hee is so sure in the performance of whatsoëver hee promiseth to his chosen servants, that hee sendeth a challenge to the world, Ier. 33.20. and saith, Thus saith the Lord, If yee can breake my covenant of the Day, and my covenant [Page 137] of the Night, and that there shall not be [...]ay and Night in their season.vers. 2 [...].Then may allso [...] covenant be broke with David. Surely the [...]e wee cannot, and as surely the other hee [...]ill not doe. Iob. 41.18. Now the eye-lids of the morning [...]e open; and what can that teach mee, but [...] open mine eyes, that I may see the good [...]esse of the Lord, in the cleernesse of the [...]y? Mee think's it instruct's mee to say [...]ith David It is a good thing to give thanks [...]to the Lord;Ps 92.1and to sing praises unto thy name, [...] most high:vers. 2.To shew forth thy loving kindnesse [...] the morning; and thy saithfullnesse every [...]ight. I will therfore follow the advice of [...]he same Prophet, & will Sing unto the Lord, [...]nd blesse his name:Ps. 96.2I will shew forth his salva [...]on from day to day. Yea, Ps. 59.16. I will sing of thy [...]ower, ô my God; I will sing aloud of thy mercy [...]n the morning; for thou hast beene my defence. His power I see, in the performance of his covenant: his mercy I see in bringing mee to the light. O how the prettie Choristours of the woods doe sing their anthemes; and in their musicall notes warble out the praises of the Creatour of the morne! How the Easterne Sun doe's guild the mountaines with his radiant lustre; and climb's by degrees higher into the heavens, that it may with more direct beames both warme, and enlighten mee! Mee think's I am chidd by the quire in the aire, for my tardie thanksgiving: and the Sun would [Page 138] flinke behind a shaddowing clowde, as unwilling to give light to one that hastens not to a celestiall rise. Thus I behould the Sun arisen from the earth; and surely mee thinks, I should even out-vye it both in motion, and place: and faster should I climb, & higher should I rise; even to the seate of blessed Eternitie. But, woe is mee, I have too much earth about mee; and the aire is too thinne to beare up my bodie. Had I wings like the Eagle, I would attempt my desires: but noe meanes is alotted to a corporall ascent. Yet, though my body be forbid to enter those pallaces, untill it shall be glorified at the greate restauration: my soule may be admitted, so soone as ever it shall be freed from this tabernacle of flesh. Yea and my thoughts may presently, at this very instant mount up to my God, so they be cleane, and pure: and in an humble reverence I may discourse with my Creatour. It is my duety, thus to doe: and it shall be my care to observe so royall a command. O how good is my God unto mee, making mee a sharer of his terrestriall blessings! But ô how farre doeth hee exceede the measure of this bountie, in giving mee the meanes to be partaker of heaven! Some thing I see, when up-ward I looke: and something there is, which I long to possesse: but 'tis not that Christall shell that bound's, my sight, which I so count: nor [Page 139] is it that Sun, whose bright rayes and powerfull influences doe cherish my body, which I long for. Noe: 'tis the heaven of heavens which I desire; Mal. 4.2. 'tis the Sun of righteousnesse which I long to behould. This Sun which is so greate in comparison with the earth, is not to be named in comparison with him. This poore, litle, blushing Sun (though now it pride's it selfe in its tryumphant rayes) shall at his appearing (yea before his appearing, even as a harbinger to prepare for his comming) be mantled in mourning: Act. 2.20. it shall be turned into darknesse, and the Moone into blood, before that greate, and notable day of the Lord come. And yet, 'till then, God hath appointed this greate Light (greate to us) the Sun to rule the day, Ps. 136.8.9. as well as the Moone and the Starres to governe the night; for his mercy endureth for ever. Even in this I see his mercy, that by the light thereof the eyes of my body have the use of their faculties; and can present their objects to my better part; which may, in her conternplations, admire allways the mercies of God. If any man walke in the day (saith my Saviour) hee stumbleth not, Io. 11.9because hee seeth the light of this world: vers. 10But if a man waike in the night hee stumbleth, because there is noe light in him. Yet (now I thinke of it) there are some assuredly, who walke in the day, and yet they stumble: yea, they contrive a way, how they [Page 140] may learne to stumble; & therfore that wine which should comfort the heart, is purposely receaved to disturbe the braine. Thus the superiour guide is mistied in a fogge lest it should direct the feete in the cariage of the body. Is. 5.11 Such are they against whom the Prophet pronounceth that Woe, saying, Woe unto them that rise up early in the morning, that they may follow strong drinke; that continue untill night, 'till wine inflame them. This is contrarie to the custome of those in Saint Paul's time: for hee saith, 1. Thes. 5.7. They that sleepe, sleepe in the night; and they that are drunken, are drunken in the night. But it is not so now: for wickednesse in our times hath assumed more impudencie: & that vice which formerly was deemed so shameful, that the very wine it selfe enforced the sinner to some modestie in a blush; even now by continuance, is accounted but societie and to palliate the crime, the collour of the offendour borroweth an excuse from the custome of inflammation. Thus is nature constrained to pleade for wickednesse: & the corruption of the liver through immoderate drinking, (which discovereth it selfe in the staines of the countenance) is noe longer abhorred as an effect of vice, but rather 'tis pittied as an infirmitie of the person.
The gray-eyed morning looke's upon my body; and teacheth mee to view my hidden selfe, my inner man. This is a duety [Page 141] prescribed by religion; and 'tis a law of justice, that before I walke abroade to behould my neighbours, I first doe prye into the dresse of my selfe. The All-mighty quesstion's Ephraim and Iudah by the mouth of his prophet, saying, Hos. 6.4. O Ephraim what shall I doe unto thee? O Iudah what shall I doe unto thee? For your goodnesse is as a morning clowde; and as the early deaw, it goeth away. This clowde, and this deaw doe aptly resemble the goodnesse of hypocrities. The clowde passeth; the deaw drye's up. Oh thus doe my promises, and vowes unto God Thus doe my better actions, where in I glorie: Suddainly, presently doe they vanish, and disperse. If I looke upon the skie, I view the mirrour of my present thoughts: for though for a time I meditate on God, yet an empty clowde which rideth post, and fleeth a way upon the wings of the wind, Ps. 18.10. is not so speedie as are these pensive, and divine contemplations. If I blush when I see the short continuance of these heavenly thoughts, discovered in the speedie journie of a clowde; with a dejected countenance let mee looke upon the ground. Oh here againe I find the reflection of my short devotions. These private cogitations which tend to religion, are but like to the pearlie deaw that hang's on the grasse: prompt and ready to drie, and vanish. Those very tufts of [Page 142] grasse, those leaves of the trees, seeme to lament the short continuance of my religious exercises: as if they had spent the silent night in anguish, and sorrow, for feare lest my doome should be to a place below their abode. The flowers have wept all night in their beds; and the chillowed herbs have drooped in the darke; and all of them together besiech mee with teares, that my goodnesse may not resemble the jewells they weare. Those pearles shall dissolve; those teares shall be dryed at the appearance of the Sun: even so soone as hee shall visit them with the warmth of his beames. Thus, thus though I mourne in secret for my sinnes; yet so soone as I am warmed with the vaine delights of the enticing world, I am apt presently to forget the bitternesse of my sorrowes: and to sinne afresh, lest I should not have cause to lament againe. Lord I wish yet that I had but such, and so many teares for my sinsull felfe, as the tresses of the earth doe seeme to mourne out for mee. Such, ô such, or none, I desire to have. None other will comply with my wishes. They must be exhaled from the earth, even the earth of my heart, by the Sun of righteousnesse. Thus they must rise, that thus they may fall. And when they are thus risen and when they are thus fallen, then shall they be dryed by the comfortable rayes of that Sun of righteousnesse, shining in my [Page 143] [...]eart. My sighes, and my groanes which [...] dispatch for my sinues, shall ascend like [...]apours up to my braine; and by the secret in [...]uences of him that enlightens mee, they shall have time alotted them to unite toge [...]her; and then shall they fall in a deaw on nine eyes. Now is the time that I thus should [...]eepe: now is the time I should thus lament: for my sinnes must be purged with my mor [...]ing teares. My yester-day's follies, my last [...]ight's fant [...]sies, & this morning's thoughts, which saluted my earthly vanities before I [...]owed to my God) even all advise mee to hye [...]y selfe, and retire speedily into my private closet; there to wash, and rub, and clense my soule in the cesterne of my teares; and never leave rinsing, 'till the staines are fetcht out. But, is this the taske of a morning? shall I not be utterly unapt for the workes of my vocation, when I have swelled mine eyes with the brinie drops? O noe: the aire is cleerest, & brightest, when stormes are blowne over: and content of mind, and quiet thoughts will follow upon my mourning. Besides; there's nothing in the world that dryeth sooner then teares; for many times they are slunke in a moment into the dimple of a smile. Nay more: rather then I shall grieve too much; or then my lawfull affaires shall be hindered by my teares; I am sure that the tender hand of my compassionate redeemer will wipe mine [Page 144] eyes. These, ô these are the incense which I must offer unto him. Hee first must smell the sweetenesse of a savour arising from them, before hee'll be so propitious, as to send downe his benediction. Wicked, and profane Esau could sieke the blessing with teares: Heb. 12 16. vers. 17 vers. 16 and shall not I goe farther in my weeping then hee who for one morsell of meate had sould his birth-right? Yes, I must; I will: for what can I doe this day in hope of a blessing, if I doe not first appease my God, who is angry for my sinnes? The swallowes which usually sport in the aire, and strive for a kind of superioritie in the height of their flying; are yet contented to humble them selves; and draw neere to the earth in their prediction of a storme. My thoughts, like the birds, have sported themselves in the airy fant'sies of sin, and impietie: but now they shall stoope, and humblie they shall flie; and foretell to mine eyes the storme that's arising. It was the duetie of Aaron every morning to burne sweete incense upon the altar of intense: Ex. 30.7.When hee dressed the lampes, hee was to burne incense upon it. What was that incense, but a gumme? And what was that franke, that free incense, but the teares of a tree? What is myrrhe, but an Arabian droppe? What is frankincense, but the teares which twice every yeere doe fall from the Arabian; and Sabae'an trees? If that gumme be nothing but the teares of the plants, [Page 145] what other are our teares, then the gumme of our selves? Well then; I will be the Aaron; mine eyes shall be the Lampes, which first I will dresse; mine heart shall be the Altar, dedicated wholly to the service of my God. This morning is the time appointed to burne sweete incense on the altar. My teares therfore of contrition, the gumme which distills from my sorrowfull eyes, shall be the incense; my heart the altar; my zeale the fire; and my sighes and groanes shall ascend like the smoake, the sweetest perfume, delightfull in the nostrills of my glorious maker. Lord make thou mine offering acceptable to thy selfe through the meritts of thy Sonne: and when thou smellest the savour, then send mee thy blessinge. Or if my sighes and teares cannot prevaile, they shall be accompanied with my petitions; and my heart, and eyes, and hands, and tongue shall joyne together in a friendly consent, and so shall they tender my supplication to the Lord of bountie. This was David's custome: Ps. 88.13. unto thee (say's hee) have I cryed, ô Lord; and in the morning shall my prayer prevent thee. Lord give mee such a sense of my sinnes, now I meditate both on their number, and their punishment; that I may heartily grieve for them: and with my teares likewise let my tongue accord; for I must not onely be chastened every morning with the sacrifice of mine eyes; Ps. 73.14. but I must allso with [Page 146] my prayer prevent my God. This therfore I will presently performe with bended knees, and yerning bowells, and an oppressed heart; and praying I will say.
The Morning Prayer.
O Sunne of righteousnesse, Mal. 4.2. Ps. 110.3. glorious God, thou who hadst the deaw of thy birth from the wombe, from the essence of thy father, before the early morning of the world's creation; have thou respect unto the prayers, 1. King 8.28. and teares of thy servant. O hearken unto the cry, and to the prayer which thy servant prayeth before thee this morning. My sinnes (I must needes confesse) are many, and black; and mine ignorance of them is thicker by farre, Ex. 10.21. then the Egyptian darknesse, I feele their weight in the fiercenesse of thy wrath; and the burden of them in the heavinesse of my soule: ô whither shall I flye for redresse, and comfort? From thee I cannot goe, and yet to thee I dare not come, because thou art so highly, and so justly displeased. But Lord, since thou art every where, come downe into my heart; and since it is thy property to forgive the penitent; be reconciled unto mee, who mourne by reason of thy displeasure. O be grations unto mee, in the tender bowells of thy wonted compassion: and ease mee of my [Page 147] sinnes, by the sufferances of thy Sonne. Ps: 5.8. Ps: 25.5 Leade [...]ee this day in thy righteousnesse; leade mee in [...]hy trueth, and teach mee; for thou art the God of [...]y salvation:Ps: 5.8. Ps: 65.8.make thy way straite before my [...]ace. O thou that makest the out-goeings of the morning, and evening to rejoyce;Neh: 1.6.let thine eare be attentive, and thine eyes open, that thou mayst behould my sorrowes for my grievous offences; and hearken to my desires of pardon, and remission. In thy heavenly Ierusalem, Reu: 21 25. ô my glorious God, there is noe night at all; nor are the gates thereof shut at all by day. At those gates ô Christ, I lye: at the gate of thy mercy I knock, ô Iesus. Heare Lord, and hare mercy; Ps: 30.10.Lord be thou my helper. Preserve mee from sinne, this ensueing day; and let the light of thy grace shine so cheerely in my heart, that all my thoughts, and words, and actions may be wholly bent to glorifie thy name. Lam: 3.2 [...]. It was thy mercy that I was not consumed this night; and, for my sinnes, delivered over to the tormentour, to be punished. Thy compassions faile not: they are new every morning; vers: 2 [...].and greate is thy faithfullnesse. O make thou mee to feele thy loving kindnesses this morning more & more, for in thee doe I trast: Ps: 143.8.cause thou mee to know the way wherein I should walke; for I lift up my soule unto the [...]. Suffer mee not this day either to accompanse, or to imitate the ungodly, Ps: 90.6 whose righteousnesse in the morning flourisheth, and groweth up: but in the evening [Page 148] is [...]t downe, and withered: But make mee to walke, and continue in the path of the just, which is as the shining light, Prov: 4 18.that shineth more and more unto the perfect day. Take mee this day, and all that thou hast blessed mee with, into thy gratious protection. Let not the violent oppresse mee, nor the deceavers delude mee, nor the enemie of man-kind ensnare mee, Ps: 89.2 [...]. Ps: 1.3. Ps: 37.5 nor the sonne of wickednesse afflict mee: and graunt that whatsoever I doe it may prosper. Vnto thee, Lord, doe I committ my way: in thee doe I trust: doe thou bring my desires to passe. vers: 6.Bring forth my righteousnesse as the light; and my just dealing as the noone day. Make mee fruitfull this day in every good word and worke; Col: 1.10. Is. 58.10. that I may draw out my soule to the hungrie, and satisfie the afflicted soule; and performe all the christian dutyes which thou commandest; that so my light may rise in obscuritie; and my darknesse be as the noone day. Heare mee, ô Lord, and graunt these my peritions; and whatsoever else shall be necessarie for mee; and that for the worthinesse of him who is the morning starte, even Iesus Christ my onely Lord, and Saviour: in whose name, and words I father call upon thee saying.
part 3 The third part Of the Soliloquie. Fitted for one, preparing to goe to dinner.
VVHen Daniel the Prophet was made chiefe of the Presidents, and Princes of the Kingdome of Darius; the rest burning with furie at this his preferment, sought (say's the text) an occasion against him: Dan: 6.4.but none they could find; for hee was faithfull; neither was there any errour, or fault found in him. Prov: 3.15. At length (to magnifie the King above him by whom alone Kings reigne) for the effecting of their purposes, they quarrelled with his religion; and conceaved that their uniust designes of debasing the President, were noe wayes to be wrought, but by dishonouring his God. But when those envious parasites pretended highly to magnifie the scepter; they did indeede but labour the satisfaction of their envie. Dan: 6. vers: 9. vers: 7. Howsoëver at length it was concluded, and the decree was signed in writing, that, Whosoever [Page 150] should aske a petition of any God, or man, for thirtie dayes, save onely of Darius; hee was to be cast into the denne of Lyons.vers: 10Daniel knew that the decree was signed: yet hee went into his house; and his windowes being open in his chamber towards Ierusalem hee kneeled upon his knees three times a day, and praised, and gave thankes before his God, as hee did afore time. Here was a worthy resolution; and as religious a performance. Neither the envie of his adversaries; nor the displeasure of his Soveraigne, nor the greedinesse of the Lyons could stoppe his proceedings; or hinder his devotions. Deut: 5 29. Oh that there were such a heart in mee too, that I would feare the Lord; and keepe his commandements allways; that it might be well with mee for ever! But, alasse, to my shame, and griefe I see, that I can scarce once in a day find in my heart to praise my God: and if twice, or thrice I attempt to fitt, and compose my selfe to my holy devotions, I presently repell those righteous motions, as if it were un-necessarie whatsoëver is ircksome. But why should I not consider how slack I am in my petitions, even by the aboundance of things which I truely want? Why should I not pray by precept; or, at least, by precedent? It was David's resolution, Ps: 55.17. Evening and morning and at noone-day will I pray, and cry aloud; & hee shall heare my voyce. And his practise exceedes his promise: for his owne words are, [Page 151] Seaven times a day doe I praise thee, Ps: 11 [...] 164.because of [...]y righteous judgments. Yea, hee goe's a litle [...]rther yet, and crye's out, vers: 97 O how I love thy [...]we! It is my meditation all the day. Hee [...]uld not choose but meditate on his law all [...]e day long, Ps: 25.5 on whom hee did wayte all the [...]y long. Thus hee meditated; hee meditated [...] day; a whole day: and yet not one whole [...]ay onely: for hee passeth his promise to the All-mighty, saying, Ps: 145 2. Every day will I blesse [...]hee; and I will praise thy name for ever, and [...]ver. Thus should I doe as David did: I [...]hould blesse the Lord, and I should praise [...]he Lord: yea I will blesse him, and I will [...]raise him for all his mercies; and particularly for preserving mee to the midle of this day. But is this time so fitting, & convenient, that now especially I should setle to my meditations? Yes doubtlesse: at this very instant I have more arguments to perswade mee to devotion, then at many other howers, and seasons of the day. Now my hungrie appetite putteth mee in mind of the ravens which hee feedeth, when thy call upon him. Ps. 147.9.Now I discover a most ample testimonie of his protection, and providence: Ps. 107.9. for now hee satisfieth the emptie soule, and filleth the hungry soule with goodnesse. Longer, mee think's, I cannot stay from my meate; for my empty bellie call's for a repast. Lord, how fraile are wee mortalls; that wee cannot live one day without [Page 152] the satisfaction of our stomacks: Mat: 6.11. Phil: 4.19. which made our Saviour teach us to pray, Give us this day our dayly bread! Well: God is so good, as to supply all our wants: but how doe's hee supply them? Alasse, the poore inferiour creatures are faint to pay the tribute of their lives for the satisfaction of our hunger. Our plentiful tables doe commonly speake blood in every dish, The beastes, and the fowles, and the fishes doe seeme to contend for precedencie in their service to our wanton appetites. And yet (if I consider of it) what offence that the Lamb, or the Sheepe, or the Calfe, or the Oxe, or the Dove, or the Salmon committed, that they loose their lives for the preservation of ours? Those doe obey the commands of their Creatour, even unto death: and by their ready submission to man's desires, observe the law which was first prescribed them. But why doe they so; seeing man, by his fall, did loose the prerogative of soveraigntie over the creatures? Hee did so indeede: yet those creatures not willing to insult over their sinfull Lord, especially seeing the charter was renewed afterwards to Noah, Gen: 9.2.3. continue their submission to his will, and command. In all this, how can I choose but magnifie my God; & desire him to blesse the creatures unto mee, for the sustenance of my body; that I may onely live to honour him, who is the giver of all? Now againe, [Page 153] above other times, should I thinke on my [...]od; and desire him, in mercy, to be gra [...]ous unto mee: for at this time of the day [...]ee would not visit our first, and sinfull pa [...]nts. It is now about the midle, and heate of [...]e day. The Sun is hastening to the highest [...]oint in the Meridian; & with beames direct [...]eepe's through the crevices into our private [...]osets: Gen: 3.8. but it was in the coole of the day when Adam and Eve did heare the voyce of the Lord God walking in the garden: and presently did [...]ide themselves from the presence of him, amongst [...]he trees of the garden. O, though 'twas in the [...]oole of the day when God was heard, yet was [...]t in the heate of his anger: for the sinne of the [...]ransgressours provoked him to wrath. But what though in Eden hee was not heard, but [...]n the coole of the day? Gen: 18.1. I am sure that hee appeared to Abraham in the heate of the day, a [...] [...]hee sate in the tent doore, in the plaines of Mam [...]re. And so hee doeth to mee now too, inwardly, by his Spirit; if I find his grace working in my soule a desire of his glorie. I will therfore besiech him, now, while hee is with mee, Ps: 42.8 Ps: 22.2 to command his loving kindnesse in this day time to visit mee; that so I may not justly complaine with David, O my God, I cry in the day time, and thou hearest not: but rather that I may heare a Phinehas saying unto mee, as once hee did to the children of Reuben, Gad, and Manasseh: This day wee perceave, Ios: 22.31.[Page 154] that the Lord is among us. Alasse poore Iacob; how did hee endure the sweate, and the burning of this time of the day? Gen: 31.40. In the day the drought consumed him; and the frost in the night; and his sleepe departed from him. Assuredly in those fourteene yeeres which hee spent in the service of Laban, for his two wives; and in those sixe yeeres which hee served for the flocks, and the cattell; hee could not choose but loose a whole river of sweate, that dropped from his face. Lord, how should every droppe of sweate that fall's from my browes, put mee in mind of the fall of Adam, which produced this punishment! Gen: 3.19. Yea, how should my teares too, out-vye my sweate, when I consider the number of my fowle transgressions! They, oh they, have so increased within mee, that they enforce the sweate to fly to my face; and in this heate of the day, to tell mee of a punishment in the flames of the damned. But there was once a day of deliverance of the Israelites from the Egyptian bondage; Ex: 13.3. and Moses commanded the people, saying, Remember this day. And what day of my life hath not beene to mee a day of deliverance? So many diseases, and accidents assayle the body; so many discontents the mind; so many casualties, and chances the estate; yea and (which is worst of all) so many sinnes the soule; that if I should attempt but once to number them, I could not easily determine [Page 155] where to beginne. Lord make mee this day remember thy deliverances in a gratefull manner; and magnifie thee for thy mercies.
There will bee a day too; a day of death: but when it shall come, God onely knoweth. This (for ought I know) may prove the day. Ould Ifaak tould his sonne Esau; saying, Gen: 27.2. Behould now I am ould; I know not the day of my death. Neither indeede doe I know mine. What know I to the contrarie, but that anone at the table I may entertaine my death in a dish, or a cup? Lord make mee allways provided for thee; and then at all times thou art well-come to mee. But how shall I be sure to have my petition graunted; and that God will afford mee such mercy, as to save mee? I reade of a day that was threatned to the Iewes; even when the Chaldaeans should become their conquerours. This the Lord fore-tould unto them, when hee sayd, Ioel: 2.1. Blow yee the trumpet in Sion; and sound an all-arme in my holy mountaine: Let all the inhabitants of the land tremble; for the day of the Lord cometh; for it is nigh at hand. A day of darknesse, vers. 2.and of gloominesse: a day of clowdes, and of thick darknesse; as the morning spread upon the mountaines. Their death was to approach by the sword of their enemies; and their miseries to increase by the furie of their tormentours. My death may be neerer hastening unto mee, then was the destruction of the Iewes at the time of [Page 156] the prophesie: and in what manner it shall come I cannot assure my selfe. God is not confined to time, or meanes, otherwise then hee hath decreed himselfe. This very day may happen to be mine; and another day may be appointed for another. Yea and my day too may prove a day of horrour: for, wicked I am; and I reade what is spoken by the mouth of Iob: Iob: 21.30. The wicked is reserved to the day of destruction: they shall be brought forth to the day of wrath. I, poore I, am one of the wicked; and have deserved the greatest, & severest judgments from the hand of the revenger. O if this day should prove so terrible, insteede of pampering my body, with delightfull foode, I might cry out with the Prophet, Cursed be the day wherein I was borne: Ior: 20.14.let not the day wherein my mother bare mee, be blessed. But I have a better confidence in the mercies of my Redeemer. Yet I cannot hope for mercy from him, if I doe not expresse some mercy to my selfe. The chiefest act of mercy to my selfe, consisteth in a serious afflicting, and tormenting of my selfe for my sinnes which would ruine mee. With my teares I must therfore wash away my sinnes: I must purge them with my teares. I must cure the sinnes of mine eyes with the teares of mine eyes. And yet, since my teares are not free from pollution; even those must be purified, and made effectuall by the blood of the Lamb. The [Page 157] stomack is commonly prepared for meate, by the blood of the grape. Therfore before I will goe to my foode, I will prepare my selfe with a glasse of wine: but that wine shall be high, and excellent: it shall be the wine of Angells. It shall have the savour of life in it: it shall have the race of mercy in it; the sweetenesse of reconciliation; & the heate of grace. This wine shall be my teares: a leane, sower, eager wine, of it selfe: but it shall be sugered by the hand of my Redeemer: it shall be deepe drawne, and well dashed with the blood of the innocent. This is such as the Angells delight in. This wine shall prove an excellent restorative: it shall be even like blood; yea it shall be blood it selfe; even the blood of my drooping, my wounded, and my deiected soule. This will exceede all the Frontiniak, or the Greeke, or the Palerma wines: for the grapes thereof doe not grow upon the smooth, and twisting branches of common vines: but they grow, like the rose, upon a thornie bough; and yeeld whole clusters of joy, and content. This wine hath such an in-bred vertue in it, that it giveth courage to the drinker: and that good effect, I seriously hope, it shall worke in mee. For I must fight, though I am but a woman. I must fight, and warre, and combate with mine enemies, with my corruptions. Ios: 10.13. I trust that hee who made the Sun stand still in the middest [Page 158] of heaven, that it hasted not to goe downe about a whole day, when the five Kings fought against Gibeon; and all this onely at the prayer of Ioshua: even hee will assist mee in this holy warre, that I may destroy the Kings, the greatest, the heads of my sinnes; make them flye, and hide themselves in a cave, as those enemies of Israel in the cave of Mackedah. And if it so fall out that they take up their cave in the hollownesse of of my heart, (their wonted place to hide themselves,) I will either drowne them up with sorrow; or smother them with my groanes; or fire them with my Zeale, Or if none of these will effect my desires, even as Ioshua did to those Kings, so will I to these: I will open the mouth of the cave in my heart, and bring out these Kings, by a true confession: yea, I will sett my feete upon the very necks of them, in a serious contempt: and then will I smite them, and slay them, and hang them up, in a holy revenge; because they would have destroy'd my soule, for which my Saviour suffered on the crosse. This, ô this, is the way to prevaile with my Iesus, to say unto mee, as hee did to Zacheus, Luc: 19 9. Ps: 56.4 Is: 49.8This day is salvation come to this house. So shall I with comfort, and thanksgiving acknowledg, that Now is the accepted time; now is the day of salvation. Thus I shall not feare what flesh can doe unto mee, no devills, nor the world nor any thing else that [Page 159] seeketh my destruction. Ps: 12 [...].6. Rom. 8 28. The Sun shall not smite mee by day, nor the Moone by night; but all things shall worke together for good, if I thus love God, and be called according to his purpose.
And now, mee think's, this storme of teares, hath produced a calme of content, and peace. I am now ready for my dinner. But stay a while. What all for the body? Nothing for the soule? Shall I pamper the flesh, and starve the spirit? This will not be a feast, but a fast: and insteed of satisfaction, I shall rise with disturbance. Act: 17 11. I reade that the Bereans are styled more noble then those in Thessalonica, in that they receaved the word with all readinesse of mind; and searched the Scriptures dayly, whether those things were so. More noble? There's a title of honour. O that I might gaine such a Berean nobility, that all mine honour might be in searching the Scriptures; the word of him, who is the fountaine of honour! Every thing is sanctified by the word of God, 1. Tim. 4.5.& prayer. Common civility teacheth mee to pray for a blessing on the creatures. But I must yet goe farther; and pray with the heart, as well as the lipps; & then reade with reverence, Iam: 1.21. and receave with meekenesse the ingrafted Word, which is able to save my soule. Grant, blessed God, that my first, and best care may be for the nourishment, and preservation of my soule: and next to that, Col: 4.6. the sustenance of my body. And to this purpose, let my discourse at [Page 160] my meate be gratious, seasoned with salt; that I may know how I ought to answer every man. And because thou hast commanded mee to use thy creatures for the preservation of my body; Lord graunt mee a moderate appetite to my meate; and give vertue to the meate, that it may be fire for my nourishment. Make it good, and wholesome for mee; and mee obedient, and serviceable unto thee. Let mee eate with moderation, content, and thanks giving; allways observing the rule of Saint Paul, 1. Cor. 10.31. that whether I eate, or drinke, or whatsoever I doe, I may doe all to the glory of thee my God.
subject 6 THE SIXTH SUBjECT. Teares of compassion, in the time of prosperitie.
The Soliloquie treating of, The vanitie of earthly riches, and the reward of Charitie.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation:
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
THe Apostle command's us to Beare one another's burdens; Gal: 6.2and so to fullfill the lawe of Christ. This law is Charitie, and friendly affection; which differeth from the law in the former Testament, because that was a law of feare, but this of love. This law my Redeemer gave as a cognizance unto his disciples, saying, Io: 13.35. By this shall all men know that yee are [Page 162] my disciples; if yee love one another. This hee prescribed as a rule, vers. 34 when hee sayd, A new commandement I give unto you, That yee love one another. And this hee commended to our imitation, even by the example of himselfe: for what the Prophet fore-tould, Ps: 53.4 and sayd, Surely hee hath borne our griefes, and caried our sorrows; even the very same his Apostle assure's us hee fullfilled, 1. Pet: 2 24. who his owne selfe bare our sins, in his owne body, on the tree. This law of love, which wee owe to our brethren, is expressed chiefely in our giving, and forgiving. Wee must beare with their infirmities, Rom: 12.15. and forgive their offences. Wee must rejoyce with them that rejoyce; and weepe with them that weepe: being of the same mind one towards another. vers. 16 Wee must rejoyce both with them, and for them: but this joy must arise from their good, not their hurt. Prov: 2.14. There are some (say's Solomon) who rejoyce to doe evill. This proceede's not from love, but hatred; for the Apostle tell's mee that Charitie rejoyceth not in iniquity, but rejoyceth in the trueth. 1. Cor: 13.6. Our mirth must joyne in concord with the joyfull: and our rejoycing must be grounded on the good of our neighbours. And as wee must have joy at their prosperitie; so must wee likewise accord with them in their sorrowes: for our very teares may be the ground of comfort unto mourners, when by these wee discover the trueth of our affection; and our readinesse to share in the [Page 163] burden of their afflictions. Such a disciple as Christ delight's in, wee may certainly believe Saint Paul to have beene: for wee find him rejoycing with the Philipians, Phil: 2.17. when hee saith, If I be offered upon the sacrifice, and service of your faith, I joy and rejoyce with you all: For the same cause allso doe yee joy, vers: 18and rejoyce with mee. And againe, wee find him grieving for the Iewes: Rom: [...] 2. for hee hath greate heavinesse, and continuall sorrow in his heart for them. Vnto the Iewes, hee became as a Iew: 1. Cor: 9.20.to them that were under the law, as under the law: to them that were without law, as without law: vers: 21to the weake hee became as weake: vers: 22 2. Cor: 11.29.and hee was made all things to all men. Who was weake, & hee was not weake? Who was offended, and hee burned not? The fire of his compassion gave light to his brethren, in the darknesse of their tribulations; by which hee fullfilled that lawe of our Redeemer. Hee fullfilled it; & why then should not I? I confesse my ignorance, & my many imperfections make mee Infinitly unequall to him in desert: yet the same God which inspired him with his Spirit, can (if hee please) enable mee to endeavour the fullfilling of that lawe. But hee was a disciple: and why may not I be ranked in the number? What though I am a woman? So was Tabitha; Act: 9.36. yet shee was a disciple: and so, I hope, shall I be too. First, then I must strive for this theologicall vertue: for by this I shall be knowne [Page 164] to be a disciple of Christ. I swimme in plenty; but doe I remember those that are pinched with necessity? In my rich, and curious dresses, doe I remember the naked? In my variety of dishes, doe I thinke upon the hungry? In the choyce of my wines, doe I consider the thirstie? In the enjoyment of my freedome, doe I pitty the prisoners? I feare that my heart is too much delighted with the things I possesse; & too litle affected with the wants of my brethren. But let mee ever consider that 'tis in the power of my God, as well to make mee a beggar, as those that wayte, & petition at my doore: and from my plenty I may be driven to demaund an almes. Hee that gives, can take. I must so demeane my selfe in prosperity, as allways remembring that adversitie is neere. What therefore I possesse I will not enioy as if I were mistresse, but onely steward of it. The shivering body of a naked beggar, shall have a share and proportion to cover his nakednesse. The empty bellie shall have meate to fill it: & the thirstie soule shall be satisfied with drinke: the sick I will comfort: & the prisoners I will visit. In my liberty I will commiserate the imprisoned; in my health, the sick; in my drinke, the thirstie; in my meate, the hungrie; and in mine apparell, the naked. Lord, what a world is this wherein I live! Every one lookes on the rising Sun: Riches are the Idolls allmost of every one; and gold, though [Page 165] the feigned, yet the admired Deitie. Prov. 14.20. The rich (saith Solomon) hath many friends: & I find it true. But are those friends indeede, which pretend to friendship? Certainly not all: & yet this is my miserie, that while I am rich, I shall hardly distinguish betweene friend, and foe. Most that put on the vizors of friendship, doe but comply with the plenty of my fortunes. They have falsehood vayled under theshape of love; which will never be discovered, but by change of estate. Surely thus to be rich, is but to be miserable. Were my treasures exhausted, I should sitt alone, without society, or pitty. The doves delight in the whited houses. So long as I shine in rich aray, the capps, & the knees will doe reverence to my ornaments: but who respect's the meanely habited? Prov: 14.20. The poore is hated, even of his owne neighbour: & such a one might I have beene: yea & such a one I may be made. Let mee not therfore boast of that, which is neither truely good, nor mine, nor permanent. If I trust in these riches, I leane upon a reede. If I boast of my riches, I forget their uncertainty. If I am proude of my estate, I disdaine the giver. This tempting gold is nothing but earth, upon which the pollicie of men hath set a vallew. It was gotten with sweate; and 'tis preserved with cares. But why; ô why doe the children of the earth thus magnifie that, which is in their power to scorne? For gold the merchants hazard [Page 166] their lives; the ploughmen sweate; the thievs, and robbers doe come to shamefull ends: yea and most men defile their pretious soules. 'Tis that which imploye's the tongue of the pleader; yea and sometimes corrupt's the justice of the Iudg. 'Tis that which buyes the skill of the Physitian: and rule's, and governe's the affaires of the world. For that doe Kingdomes strive; and the whole world contend's. But thou glistering, stupid Idoll, why art thou so honoured? Why so adored? 'Tis true, thou art the price of whatsoëver wee desire the world to furnish us with, both for necessity, and delight: and so farre I may suffer thee to lodg in my coffers. But is it in thy power to prolong my life; and preserve mee here beyond my time appointed? Canst thou give mee health, or strength? Canst thou afford mee peace of mind; and quietnes of conscience? Canst thou endowe mee with spirituall, and saving grace: and purchase mee a seate in the heavenly Ierusalem? Alasse poore, simple dirt, thou canst doe nothing thats good; nor they whom thou foolest with the coveteousnesse of thee. Why then doest thou cheate the children of Adam: betray them to hell by their honouring of thee? But stay: Why doe I thus blame this innocent metall? 'Tis not this that offend's. This would have slept in the silent bowells of our mother earth; had not the avarice of men disturbed [Page 167] its rest. It is not the gould that [...]mpt's to wickednesse: but 'tis the sleight [...]f the Devill which perswade's men to ho [...]our it. Since then I can find noe fault with [...]y coyne, let mee pray that noe fault may be [...]ound in my selfe. If I love it, I sinne: if I co [...]et it, I sinne: if I gaine it by meanes not varrented in Scripture, I sinne: if I increase it by extortion, or biting usurie, I sinne: if I [...]ut my trust, or confidence in it, I sinne: if I make it the price, and hire of wickednesse, [...] sinne: if I vallew my selfe either greater, or better for the possession of it, I sinne: if I unjustly deteine it from those who have right to it, I sinne: if vainly, and prodigally I wast, and exhaust it, I sinne: if I deny it to them that are in destresse, I sinne. Lord, how many sinns depend upon this glittering earth! I will therfore resolve to looke downe on 't as on a slave, and never allow it a seate in my heart: and willingly will I impart it to the needy, and indigent. I had rather it had dwelt in the darke vaults, and cavernes of the earth, then ever it should be a meanes to offend my God. But since my revenues are plentifull, what shall I doe with this which I posesse? I will resolve by the grace and goodnesse of my God, that so I will keepe it, as if I had it not: I will so use it, as if I used it not: I will so freely give it where necessity requireth, that it shall plainly appeare [Page 168] I love it not: and yet I will so preserve it, as if I scorned it not. With this I will relieve the poore: I will cloath the naked: I will comfort the distressed: and whatsoëver good it may procure for my selfe, or others, I will labour to purchase it, though with the expence of the coyne. I will not, for the love of this, Is: 32.6 make empty the soule of the hungry; nor cause the drinke of the thirstie to faile: for this is the propertie of persons that are vile. I will never so setle my affection upon it, as to suffer it to stoppe mine eares at tho cry of the poore: Prov: 21.13. lest the time should come when I my selfe should cry, Iob. 22 7.and not be heard. I will not hould my bread from the hungry, as Eliphaz once accused Iob. c: 24.7. I will not cause the naked to lodg without cloathing, that they may have noe covering in the cold: vers: 10 nor will I take away the sheafe from the hungry. for this is the property onely of the wicked. c: 22.6. I will not take a pledg from my brother for nought; and strippe the naked of their cloathing. Ex: 22.25.If I lend my money to any that is poore, I will not be to him as a usurer; neither will I lay usurie upon him. Prov: 14.31. I will not oppresse the poore, lest I reproach my maker: but I will have mercy upon him; and so honour my God. I will not mocke the poore. c: 17.5. nor be glad at his calamities; left I my selfe goe not un-punished. I will not oppresse the widow, Zech: 7 10. Amos 2.6.nor the fatherlesse; the stranger, nor the poore. I will not sell the righteous for silver; or the poore for a paire of shooes; [Page 169] nor will I ever sleepe with his pledg. Deut: 24.12. Prov: 22.2. Deut: 8 3. 1. Sam. 2.7. But seeing [...]at the rich, and the poore meete together; and [...]e Lord is the maker of both: Seeing it was God who humbled Israël; and suffered him to [...]unger; and fed him with Manna: Seeing that [...]rom God doeth proceede both poverty, and [...]iches: I will therfore magnifie my liberall giver, in my guifts to the poore. Prov: 25.21. Since hee which maketh poore, and maketh rich; which bringeth low, and lifteth up, hath commanded mee, if even my very enemie be hungry, to give him bread to eate; and if hee be thirstie, to give him drinke: Since the Psalmist assure's mee, that they are blessed, which consider the poore; Ps: 41.1the Lord will deliver them in the time of trouble: Since King Solomon tell's mee that Hee that hath pitty on the poore, lendeth unto the Lord; Prov: 19.17.and that which hee hath given, hee will pay him againe: Since hee assure's mee that, c: 29.7 The righteous considereth the cause of the poore; but the wicked reguardeth not to know it: Since my Redeemer commandeth, saying, Luc: 14 13. vers: 44 When thou makest a feast, call the poore, the maymed, the lame, and the blind; And thou shalt be blessed, for they cannot recompence thee; for thou shalt be recompenced at the resurrection of the just: Since at the day of his comening in the clowdes, Matt: 24.30. Mart: 25.34.with greate majestie, and glory, hee shall say unto them on his right hand, Come yee blessed of my father; inherit the Kingdome prepared for you, from the foundation of the world: vers: 35For I was an [Page 170] hungred, and yee gave mee meate; I was thirstie, and yee gave mee drinke; I was a stranger, and yee tooke mee in;vers 36Naked, & yee cloathed mee; I was sick, and yee visited mee; I was in prison, and yee came unto mee: Luc: 16 9. And lastly, since hee hath commanded, saying, Make to your selves friends of the Mammon of unrighteousnesse, that when yee faile, they may receave you into ever-lasting habitations: Deut: 15.7. I will resolve therfore, that I will not harden my heart, nor shut mine hand against my poore brother: vers: 8. but I will open mine hand wide unto him; Iob. 30.25.and lend him sufficient for his neede, in that which hee wanteth. I will weepe for him that is in trouble: my soule shall be grieved for the poore. c: 29.16. Is: 58.7 I will be as a father or mother to the poore; for I will deale mybread to the hungry; and I will bring the poore, that is cast out, to my house; and when I see the naked, I will cover him. vers: 8. I will draw out my soule to the hungry; and satisfie the afflicted soule: Then shall my light arise in obscuritie; and my darknesse shall be as the noone day. Is: 21.14. I will doe as the inhabitants of the land of Tema did: I will bring drinke to him that is thirstie; and with my bread I will prevent him that fleeth. Eze: 18 7. I will not oppresse any; but I will restore to the debtour his pledg. I will spoile none by violence; but I will give my bread to the hungry, and cover the naked with a garment. vers: 8. I will not give forth upon usurie; neither will I take any increase. vers: 9. I will walke in the statutes of my God; and will keepe his judgments [Page 171] to deale truely. Dan: 4.27. I will breake off my sinnes by [...]ighteousnesse; and mine iniquities, by shew [...]ng mercy to the poore. Iob: 31 19. I will never see any [...]erish for want of cloathing; or any poore without [...]overing. These ornaments of my body shall putt mee in mind of mine originall corruption, which I receaved from Adam; who, in his integritie, was naked, and was not ashamed: Gen: 2.25. and of mine actuall transgressions, especially of my pride, and excesse in apparell; whereas unto Adam, and to his wife, c: 3.21.the Lord God made coates of nothing but skinnes, and cloathed them. They shall teach mee thankfullnesse to him that sent them; for even thus did hee discover his love to Ierusalem, when hee clothed her with broidered workes, Eze: 16 10.and shod her with badger's skinnes, and girded her about with fine linnen, and covered her with silke; vers:11And decked her allso with ornaments, and put bracelets upon her hands, and a chaine on her neck. They shall teach mee humilitie, when I consider mine owne un-worthinesse; and how short I come of the goodnesse, & rigteousnesse of Iohn the Baptist, Mat: 3.4. who notwithstanding had his raiment but of Camells haire & a leatherne girdle about his loines; & his meate was but locusts, & wild hony. That plenty, wherewith my table is furnished, Lu: 6.25. shall make mee tremble at the Woe pronounced by my Saviour, saying, Woe unto you that are full; for yee shall hunger. It shall put mee in mind of the charge which Moses [Page 172] gave unto the Israelites, Deut. 8 10. saying, When thou hast eaten, and art full; then thou shalt blesse the Lord thy God. I will weepe for the sinnes which may arise from my riches. I will weepe for the poore, who want my superfluities. I will weepe for the distressed, who may be neerer, and deerer by farre unto God, then I, the worst of sinners, am: and yet they want, what I doe surfeit on. I will remember how Dives was cloathed in purple, Luc. 16 19.and fine linnen; and fared sumptuously every day: and yet at length hee was sentenced to the torments of hell. vers. 23 I will consider how, though Lazarus would have fed upon the crumbs that fell from the rich man's table, vers 21 but was churlishly denyed them; vers. 22 yet afterwards hee was caried by the Angells into Abraham's bosome. I will consider with my selfe, that my gould and silver are nothing but earth; my jewells but stones; mine apparell but the labour, and issue of a worme; mine honour & respect but either the steame of an unsavourie breath; or the wrying, and deforming of a Christians body: and yet this aëry applause, & these congees, and salutes are grounded onely on this earth & stones. Were vertue onely the ground of honour, my credit might be sullied with this dirt, and trash: for the more I possesse of this earthie masse, the heavier and duller I grow to acts of goodnesse. Gold is accounted the most compacted mettall; &, to heighten the vallew [Page 173] of it, they boyle it in broths, as a cordiall for the infirme. Peradventure the All-mighty hath given it vertue to comfort the heart: but then it must be used, & not locked up. Yet the Physitian's prescription may be grounded on avarice; and it may be a pollicie of Satan to Increase our idolatrie. Thus doeth every one make it his businesse to court this Idoll whereof I am mistresse. But am I sure that I am mistresse of this admired mettall? Am I not rather a servant, and slave to it? If it ever hath power to tempt mee to sinne, I have lost my soveraignty to which I pretend. This mettall is close, and compact; more heavy & ponderous then any of the rest. O is it not a description of my remorselesse heart? Is not that as close, & compact: as unwilling to yeeld to the stroke of the hammer; to the cryes, and the teares of the poore, and the miserable? If thus I find my heart in the gold; my next care shall be to make it as heavy. I will grieve, and lament for the hardnesse of my heart; and since 't is so drossie, as to covet the gould. I will earnestly besiech my God to refine it. I will humbly request him to put it to the test; to put it into a crucible; and then so to draw it downe in the fire of affliction, that it may runne pure, and cleane; and be apt to yeeld, and commiserate the cause of the helplesse. Betweene the steele and the load-stone the sympathie is so prevalent, that they wooe each other, even [Page 174] at a distance. O that my God would infuse into my heart so much of his grace, that the stone therein might be like the load-stone, drawing the poore and the miserable to my doores, who with indigencie and want are hammered, and beaten, and fired like the steele. The red and fiery eyes are cured by the often touch of the gold. Whose eyes are more inflamed then those of the poore, whose every morsell is the price of a teare? Who is more able to cure those maladies, then wee to whom God hath sent in aboundance? For them then I will call, I will sieke, I will send: and the rednesse of their eyes shall be cured with my yellow, & resplendent gould. Those that stedfastly looke on waterish eyes, are subject to contract the same infirmitie. Mine are cleere, and free from the maladie; but 'tis onely because I looke not on them who are troubled with that weakenesse. But I will labour hereafter to looke upon the poore, whose eyes are swelled with petitionarie teares; and so stedfastly-will I fasten mine eye of compassion upon their miseries, that I will both lament their sufferances, and releive their wants. The purest gold is ever most plyable, and apt to bend which way wee please. Thus shall mine be ready to bow, and bend, and yeeld to the necessities of my brethren. Thus shall my heart be noe longer the possessour of my revennues, but the cabinet of charitie, [Page 175] and tender compassion. But when I divert [...]ine eyes from the treasures of my coffers, [...]nd fasten them on the glittering rayes of my [...]abinet Iewells; ô then my heart, which was open, beginn's to close againe: & mee thinks, I repent my promise of distributing my massie summs; since they have power to purchase such dazeling jemms. Fond woman, where is thy religion? Vaine woman, why art thou so unconstant? These sparkling diamonds are but the offalls of a rock; and by the hand of the artist composed into a forme, which may fitly tell mee the folly of my pride. Suppose that this, or this stone by nature was placed on the top of the rock: yet when it fell to the ground, 'twas taken up for an idoll. What stone can be harder, then is this Adamant? Yet I find that flesh may be harder then this. My heart is a rock; yet 'tis not a Diamond; for 'tis farre inferiour in the vallew, and price. But admitt howsoever that 'twere a Diamond: then I might hope that nature or art would force some pieces, or sparkes from the rock. O but I find it will not easily yeeld to part with any: but when the hammer doeth come with violence upon it, it forceth it back againe with scorne, and contempt; when the grace of my God doeth offer to touch it, 'tis repelled by the hardnesse, and obduracie there of. What shall I doe to force it to yeeld? Nothing but a [Page 176] Diamond cut's a Diamond. This very Diamond then, which I hould in my hand, shall cutt mee to the heart, for the wickednesse thereof. Or if that will not doe: if it will not yeeld without the concurrence of blood; I will besiech my Redeemer for a drop of his blood, by vertue whereof my heart may relent. Here's a Pearle too, whose orient lustre hath so delighted my heart, that mee thinks in a manner I weare it in mine eye. It was the purchase of my coyne; but from whence at first was it derived to my possession? Nature intending to preserve it from violence, clasped it up in the shell of a fish; and then sunke it to the bottone of the troubled ocean. But coveteous man enuying the treasures which were hidden in the seas, ransacked the bottome to find out this jemme. Now it is mine: it add's to my treasure; and borroweth the eyes of the gazing spectatours, making them wonder and cover this which I possesse. But was it onely sent for the satisfaction of the eye? Let mee a litle more carefully looke upon it; and trie if it offers not something of piety to a religious soule. In the colour thereof I discover heaven. In the Easterne parts from whence are brought the crient pearles, Mat. 2.1.2. I am put in mind of the starre which appeared in the East to the wise men; and conducted them to the sight of Christ, whom they worshipped. This cerulian, jewell so fitly [Page 177] imitating the colour of the heavens, whispers into mee the earnest desire which I ought to have, of that which it resembles. Shall the colour of the heavens be kept close in my cabinet, and vallewed chiefly for it's orient lustre; and shall not the desire of heaven be stirred up in my heart; and an eamest longing to reigne there eternally? This pearle shall be made to forgett it's vallew, rather then I will prize it above my charitie. Even these very jewells shall be sould, and consumed, rather then I will valew my pride above my bountie. They shall be parcelled out in severall summs, and the naked shall weare them in their needefull apparell. Or if these pearles being sould, & dispersed to the poore, will not discover enough of my Christian compassion; from mine eyes shall droppe such a plentifull store, that my heart shall be free in it's liberall bountie, and manifest thereby my tender affection. There is a pearle which my Saviour mentions, exceeding, Mat: 13 45. vers. 46 all the treasures of the earth. For that pearle will I learne to play the marchant; and sell both this, and all that I have, for the purchase of that. I neede not feare the want of ornaments, if I part from these to be partaker of that: for that pearle is a citty; Reu: 21 10. and that citty is great, and holy; even the holy Ierusalem; whose light is like a Iasper stone, vers. 11cleere as Chrystall. vers. 18The bulding of the wall thereof is of [Page 178] Iasper; the citty pure gold, like unto cleere glasse; the foundations of the wall are garnished with all mā ner of pretious stones; vers. 19 even with a Iasper, a Saphir, a Calcedony, vers. 21an Emerald, a Sardonix, a Sardius, a Chrisolite, a Berill, a Topaz, a Chrysophrasus, a Iacinct, vers. 21and an Amethist: the twelve gates are twelve pearles; every severallgate a pearle: and the very streete of the citty is pure gold, as it were transparent glasse. O who would not leave this drossie, perishing gold, for that which is so pure, and shall last for ever? Who would not forsake these mock, and triviall jemmes, for those most precious, and unvalluable jewells? Long since did my Saviour tell his disciples, that it is easier for a camel to goe thorow the eye of a needle, Mat: 19 24.then for the rtch to enter into the Kingdome of God. What then shall I doe; who am borne downe from that Kingdome by the weight of my riches; and kept out from the doore by the bundles the greatenesse of the baggs which. I would carie? When the ruler professed that hee had kept all the commandements of God from his youth,Luc: 18 21. vers. 22yet lacked hee one thing: Hee was to sell all that hee had, and give to the poore; and then, it was promised, hee should have treasure in heaven, But when hee heard this, vers. 23hee was very sorrowfull, for hee was very rich. For my part I must confesse that I have beene farre more carefull to keepe my treasure, then the commandement of God. Yet if I had done it, even [Page 179] from my youth, as the ruler boasted; howsoever my plenty would informe mee of my want. One thing yet, the ruler wanted; and that one thing still, I stand in neede of: I want the diminishing of this earthly trash: I must sell all that I have and give to the poore. O I feare that this command will bee very sad, and sorrowfull to mee too, because I am very rich. The more I possesse, the more sorrow will arise, when I shall part from my possessions. But thus I must doe, if I expect what I desire. All must goe for the purchase of that pearle. The poore must have baggs to receave my riches; and then my store shall be treasured in heaven. Yet am I not bound so to give to the poore, as thereby to be one of the number of them. Charitie unbounded becometh prodigalitie. Those that are liberall must disperse with freedome, but not with excesse. Hee that command's mee to releive the poore, command's mee not to give 'till I am poore. If once I be reduced to such a penurie, I shall be quite deprived of the power to be liberall. What therfore is mine I will not impropriate, and keepe onely to my selfe: but first having furnished my selfe for necessitie, I will preferre the wants of my brethren before my convenience, or my delight. I will not deny my felse the use of the creatures in a lawfull manner: nor yet will I proudly satisfie my curiositie, & leave [Page 180] the indigent out of my thoughts. I will labour to make these earthly riches serviceable to the donour, even the God of heaven: and that I may the better effect my desires, I will humble my selfe on my knees at his foote-stoole, and besiech him to bow downe his eare to my petitions, while I pray unto him, and say.
The Prayer.
HEavenly father, Lord of plenty; thou who hast created the world by thy power; and continuest thy love, in thy providence, and protection: to thee doe I render thanks for my plenty; and to thee doe I offer the service of my store. What I have is thine; Ps. 24.1 for the earth is thine, and all that therein is, the compasse of the world, and they that dwell therein. It is thou onely that givest a blessing to the fruit of the land; Deut: 7 13.to the corne, to the wine, and to the oyle; to the increase of the Kine, and of the flocks of the sheepe. It is thou onely that commandest thy blessing in the storehouses;c: 28.8.and in all that thy servants doe set their hands unto. Lord make mee one of thy faithfull servants; that what thou hast sent mee, may be a restimonie of thy love, and not of thy hatred. [...]. Tim. 6.17. Make mee all ways magnifie thee in my time of plenty; and not be [Page 181] high-minded, nor trust in these uncertaine riches; but in thee, the living God, who givest mee richly all things to enjoy. O suffer mee not so to treasure up the deceitfull riches of this sinfull world, Luc. 12 25. as thereby forgetting to be rich towards thee: but as from thy bounty I receave these temporall blessings, so in thy mercy make mee abound in grace; 2. Cor: 9.8. that allways having all sufficiency in all things, I may abound to every good worke, vers. 11and be enriched in every thing to all bountifullnesse; that through mee it may cause thanksgiving unto thee my Lord, and my God. In this my prosperity give mee humility; and prepare mee for adversitie, if it shall please thee at any time to send it unto mee. Give mee a sense of the afflictions of many of thy saints, and distressed servants: & enlarge my heart, that I may be ready, and forward to contribute to their necessities. Make mee shew mercy with cheerefullnesse, Rom. 12.8. and possesse with thankfullnesse what thou sendest unto mee; that I may neither forget thee in thy members, nor deny thee to be the giver. Let mee never stop mine eares at the cryes of the distressed, who begge for reliefe in the name of thy selfe. Thou, ô Christ, 2. Cor: 8.9.who wert rich, didst for my sake become poore, that so through thy poverty thou mightest make mee rich. Lord make mee as willing to bee poore for thy sake; allways considering that the vanities of earth, are not worthy to be compared [Page 182] to the glory that shall be revealed. 1. Pet. 5 1. Heb. 4.13. 1. Tim. 2.9. vers. 10O thou, to whose eyes even all things are naked, and open; graunt that I may adorne my selfe in modest apparell, with shamefastnesse and s [...]brietie; not so much with gold, or pearles, or costly aray; as with good workes, becomeing a professour of godlinesse. Make mee labour for the ornaments of the hidden man in the heart in that which is not corruptible; 1. Pet. 3 4. Luc. 12 21. 2. Cor. 9.11. 1. Tim. 6.18. Iam. 2.5. Reu: 3.18.even the ornament of a meeke, & quiet spirit, which is in thy sight of greatest price. Make mee, ô heavenly father, rich in thy selfe; rich unto liberalitie; rich in good workes, & in faith. Make mee buy of thee, gold tryed in the fire, that I may berich; and white raiment that I may be cloathed; and that the shame of my nakednesse doe not appeare. Let mee allways remember that greate accompt which one day I must render to thee the Lord of heaven, and earth; that so I may serve thee here with my substance; in my body, and my soule, with zeale and devotion: and hereafter be receaved to thine ever-lasting glory, through the merits of thy sonne in thy bosome, Iesus Christ my onely Lord, and Saviour. Amen.
subject 7 THE SEAVENTH SUBjECT. Teares in want or in the time of adversitie.
In foure severall Soliloquies, treating of, • 1 A decayed est ate: or plentie turned into povertie. , • 2 Hunger, both corporall, and spirituall. , • 3 Thirst, both bodily, and ghostly. , and • 4 Nakednesse, both of the out-ward, and the in-ward man.
The first Soliloquie. Treating of a decayed estate: or Plenty turned into povertie.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation.
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
VVHen Mary had powred her precious oyntment on the head of my Redeemer,Mat: 26 7.[Page 184] his disciples were filled with indignation,vers. 8. vers. 9.& said, To what purpose is this wast? For this oyntment might have beene sould for much, and given to the poore. vers. 10 But when Iesus understood it, hee said, why trouble yee the woman? For shee hath wrought a good worke upon mee: vers. 11For yee have the poore allways with you; but mee yee have not allways. O mee think's the words of my Saviour doe more afflict mee, then the povertie which I suffer. I thought hee had beene allways conversant with the poore, because hee so often commandeth their reliefe. But now hee seemeth to leave us in our miserie, when hee determineth that wee shall continue upon earth, but himselfe resolveth to leave the earth. But did hee not promise in Saint Mathew, & say, Mat. 28 20. Loe I am with you allway, even unto the end of the world? How can his promise be fullfilled, if wee have him not allway? Will hee be at the same time both present with us, and absent from us? Or doeth hee disdaine our poverty; and for that very reason deny us his presence? Cease, cease, ô my soule, these doubts, & questions, which savour too much of ignorance, Rom. 3 4. or infidelitie. Let God be true, and every man a lyer. What hee spake to his disciples before his suffering, hee spake of his flesh: but what hee said when hee was risen, hee affirmed of his Spirit. True it is, ô my Iesus, that thy bodily presence I expect not upon earth: Ps. 144 5. nor may I desire thee, to how [Page 185] the heavens, and come downe from thy glory. [...]t is thy Spirit, ô Christ, which I humbly sue [...]or: even that Comforter, who may strengthen [...]ee, in the depth of my calamities. Never [...]ad I more neede of comfort from God, then [...]ow, when the goods of the world forsake mee. Now doe I find, that I am hated, Prov. 14.20. c: 18.23 c: 19.4.even of mine owne neighbours, but the rich hath many friends. I am enforced to use intreaties: c: 18.23but the rich answereth mee roughly. c: 19.4.Wealth did make many friends: but now I am poore, I am seperated from my neighbours.vers. 7.All my brethren doe hate mee: and much more doe my friends goe farre from mee. I pursue them with words: yet they are wanting unto mee. Vaine world, where are thy promises? Deceitfull riches, where is your friendship? I, who so lately was dandled in the lappe of pleasure, and plenty, am now exposed to paines, and penury. So litle did I dreame of this tempestuous storme, that (with David) I said in my prosperitie, Psa. 30.6.I shall never be removed; thou Lord, of thy goodnesse, hadst made my hill so strong. But where are now those ensignes of pride; my Rings, and my Iewells? Where are those factours of lasciviousnesse; my favours, and my fashions? Where are those robbers of time, my sports, & my games? Where are those moths, & wormes of plenty; my flattering society, and my discursive companions? Where are those pamperers of the body; my severall dishes, and [Page 186] daintie cookeries? Where be those golden pictures, that often yeelded mee leggs, and the courtsies? Alasse, all's gone: all's flowen. The Sun is hidden, and muffled in a clowde; and by that meanes those atomes, those motes are obscured. Now must I expect noe more honour, or respect. My fingers, and my wrists, and my neck must forget, that ever they were adorned with the treasure of the seas, and the riches of the earth. My back must forget that ever it was dressed in the fashion of strangers. Mine eares must forget, that ever they were delighted with the musick of discourses. My palet must forget that ever it was coy, and nice in the choyce of various meates. My mind must forget, that ever I was honoured with the respect of inferiours: And my purse must forget, that ever it was acquainted with the idoll of the world. O what wonder, and misery happen's in this change! All things are altered, as if I had slept out my time; and onely dreamed of the plētie, which formerly I enjoyed. Mee think's I am but just newly borne. Nay, I am worse: for now I have neither nurse to suckle mee; nor mother to dandle mee. Yet am I still as if I were borne but a day, or two since; allthough I am growne to bignesse beyond the time: for I am as ignorant of a way to live in the world, as the sucking infant that's nourished at the breast. And now, what shall I doe? [Page 187] Nor acquaintance, nor friends, nor kindred, nor any will remember that ever they knew mee: or if they doe, they will be moreready to taunt mee, then afford mee reliefe. Was ever miserie like unto mine? Was ever distressed soule so destitute, so forlorne as I am? Whither shall I goe? To whom shall I complaine? Either my tougue hath forgotten to speake; or my friends to heare. Christianitie seemes to be but the labour of the voyce: for if men did believe what the Scriptures teach, they surely would practise something of Charitie.
Thus I sitt, and sigh, and grieve, and expostulate, and complaine: but yet I forget what I ought to consider of. I am apt to repine at this poverty which I suffer; but I am un-apt to enquire into the cause thereof. Solomon tell's mee that, Prov. 19.15. Slothfullnesse casteth into a deepe sleepe: & an idle soule shall suffer hunger. That hunger I feele; but doe I acknowledg that idlenesse? Doe I confesse that slothfullnesse? If I should examine my hands, what worke they have done; would not their smoothnesse, and whitenesse accuse them of idlenesse? If I should aske mine eyes how vigilant they have beene, in a lawfull imployment; would they not drowzily, and bashfully slinke behind the curtaines? Let mee then remember how Solomon telleth mee, c. 23.21 that drowsinesse shall cloath one with raggs. And yet, mee think's, this is [Page 188] not all. There must be some-thing else that bring's this affliction. Let mee but consider a litle; and reason with my selfe. It may be I may find out some-thing more, by a diligent search.
I live upon the earth. I live in the world. Earth I had: the best of earth, in the esteeme of earth: I had gold and silver, so much esteemed, and honoured by man. In the world I am; & yet now my coyne is gone, I am here but a stranger. I did know many: but in the change of my fortune, I am known of none. If I call to the earth, which so much I have loved; it will not un-bowell it selfe, to offer mee it's intraills. I cannot tell how, neither, to prick a veine of it, to enrich my selfe; as the delvers doe, though shee tremble at the violence. If I sue to the world, I am there neglected: Ps. 31.12. I am forgotten, like a dead man out of mind; or like a broken vessell. Whence ariseth this un-kindnesse of the earth? Whence proceede's this forgetfullnesse of the world? Certainly the earth, of it selfe, had not malice enough, to sieke my ruine. Surely the world, of it selfe, had not cruelty enough to contrive my un-doeing. Noe, noe: there's some-thing yet, which I have not discovered, that question-lesse hath brought this poverty upon mee. I sigh; & my sighes goe up-ward; mee think's, toward heaven. I looke with a steady, and stedfast eye: but 'tis up-ward I [Page 189] looke; 'tis chiefely upon heaven. I mourne; and I cry: and my word is chiefely, O Lord, O God. Who is this I name, so often, in my laments? Who is this I mention, so often, in my cryes? Is it not the Lord? Is it not God? To heaven goe my sighes upon heaven looke mine eyes: on the God of heaven doe I call: and yet, though hee's in my sighes, in mine eyes, and in my tongue; I have all this while forgotten to entertaine him in my heart. Surely, if hee had hitherto dwell't in my soule, I should either have enjoyed more of the earth, or lesse of my love to it. That which I have left so un-willingly, I have loved too much: and in that love, I have sinned too much: and by that sinne, I have moved him to anger, who hath sent mee this poverty. Yes, yes: 'tis hee, 'tis hee that maketh poore, and maketh rich; 1. Sam. 2.7. that bringeth low, and lifteth up. All this while I have lived in such ignorance, that either I knew him not; or, at least, I honoured him not. I lived as if there were noe other God, but onely mammon; noe happinesse, but on earth; noe treasures, but gold; and noe content, but in plenty. If I ever remembred him, it was to his dishonour: if ever I spake of him, it was in prophanenesse. I never doubted of his love, & therfore never prayed for his blessing: or, if I did pray, it was coldly; it was faintly; and rather to satisfie the world, then to discharge my duety; or, in an awfull manner, [Page 190] to have recourse to his Majesty. I measured his favours by my out-ward possessions: and deemed them blessings, which hee sent in wrath: but, I hope, it will prove, that hee hath taken them in mercy. Graunt, blessed God, that now I may know thee in this my miserie, who formerly forgot thee in the height of my plenty: and that, knowing thee, I may love thee: and that, loving thee, I may depend on thee: & that depending on thee, I may serve, and honour thee all the dayes of my life. O now, mee think's, I am another woman. I beginne to feele some warmth at my heart. I find that my God doeth speake to my conscience. Lord send mee repentance, that I may be sorrie for my sinnes: send mee thy grace, that I may have share in thy promises: send mee a lively faith, that I may relye upon the merits of my blessed Redeemer: and, howsoever thou disposest of this body of flesh, preserve my soule for thy celestiall kingdome. O what a suddaine alteration doe I find in my selfe! My teares, that savoured of murmuring, and despaire; shall flow aboundantly for the sinnes I committed. World, leawd world, thou art a jugler, and an impostour. Earth, base earth, thou art a cozener, and a deluder. I, silly, woman, did place my happinesse in your transitorie courtesies; and thought it the chiefe honour, to become your minion. But now I see that you fayle your servants, [Page 191] and mocke your lovers. There's noe constancy, but in God. There's noe comfort, or happinesse, but in Christ. The more I sieke him, the more I love him: and the more I love him, the more I am beloved of him. Hee will not deceave mee: hee will not leave mee, nor forsake mee. Lord let me be thine; though hungry, though thirstie, though naked I come unto thee. I am sure that, if I serve him, I shall be provided for, by him. Hee can doe it, for hee hath enough. Col. 1.16. Hee created all things; and his they are, by whom they were created. O let him give mee a litle with content; rather then so much as I had, with forgetfullnesse of him. I care not how litle I possesse, so I may enjoy my Lord. The birds doe never thinke of a morrow: and yet their hunger is satisfied every moment. The herbes, & the flowers are infensible of their verdure: and yet they infinitely out-vye King Solomon in his glory. Mat. 6.29. The rivers that steale from the billowed ocean, and sport awhile in the massie earth, are at length directed to the sea againe. The stone that is digged from the quarries in the earth, to serve for necessity, and ornament of our structures; findeth rest, at last, in a silent heape; where, making a way by it's heavy weight, it steale's back by degrees into the wombe of the earth. In each of these I discover a providence: for hee who first created, doeth still preserve. O let him be mine; and [Page 192] then I shall be his. O let mee be his; & then hee shall be mine. If I be his child by grace, and adoption; I am sure that hee will be my father, by providence, and protection. Hee it is who sayd that hee would leave in the midst of Ierusalem, Zeph: 3.12.an afflicted, and poore people: but, with all, bee promised that they should trust in the name of the Lord. Hee that correcteth mee for mine offences, intendeth my conversion: the fault is in my selfe, if it turne to my ruine. Hee taketh away earth, that hee may give mee heaven: for, both, hee seeth, I cannot graspe at once. Thus hee at once both punisheth mee for mine offences, and provideth for my happinesse. Yet, though hee punisheth; hee doeth it not hastily, nor yet un-expectedly, if I justly consider it. First hee threatneth, before hee scourgeth: and warneth mee to obey, before hee chastiseth. Thus, by his Prophet, Is. 20.3 hee saith, Like as my servant Isaiah hath walked naked, and bare foote three yeares, for a signe, and wonder upon Egypt, and upon Ethiopia: vers. 4.So shall the King of Assyria leade away the Egyptians prisoners, and the Ethiopians captives: young, and ould; naked, and barefoote; even with their shame un-covered to the shame of Egypt. Mee hee threatned too, before hee thus visited mee: but mine eares were deafe; I stopped them; and refused to hearken to the voyce of the Lord. Every sicknesse of mine owne, or my friends: every losse of [Page 193] mine owne, or my neighbours, was a menace [...]om the All-mighty. Often did I see his [...]gments upon others; but I minded them [...]t: as if it nothing concerned mee, what fell [...]ot on my selfe. Children of Princes doe [...]eldome feele the smart of a rodde; but are [...]errified by the stripes which others receave. Thus the Lord dealt with mee, when hee scourged others: but I pittied not them, nor yet my selfe: just it is therfore that none should now commiserate my case, in the depth of my distresse. Yet when I consider that this my poverty come's from God, mee think's it is a testimomie as much of his love, as of his severitie. I know assuredly that his servant Iob did suffer more then my calamitie amount's unto: yet hee repined not at his losses, but glorified his maker. Iob. 1.21. The Lord gave (say's hee) and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord. Thus if I magnifie him who sendeth this correction; I shall not sinne in my sufferance, vers. 22 nor charge him foolishly. Mar. 10 25. Hee who sayd It is easier for a Camel to goe thorow the eye of a needle, then for a rich man to enter into the Kingdome of God: even the same Lord said to the young man in the Gospel, If thou wilt be perfect, Mat: 19 21.goe and sell that thou hast, and give to the poore; and thou shalt have treasure in heaven; and come, and follow mee. Had I thought of heaven in my seeming prosperitie, I should not so much have [Page 194] beene tormented with this present losse. But I, who before neglected the poore, am ranked now in the number of them. I who expected my heaven upon earth, have here my hell, that I may have heaven hereafter. Why then should I murmur at this blessing from God; and deeme this a losse, which is sent for my advantage? Surely if I doe but endeavour to vallew the joyes of eternitie, I shall rejoyce at my deliverance from the possessions of the world. Such hast did Zacheus make from the tree, when my Saviour did promise to become his guest; and with such contempt of the world did hee entertaine my Redeemer, Lu: 19.8. that hee said unto him, Behould Lord, the halfe of my goods I give to the poore; and if I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation, I restore him fowre fould. That Sycomore tree which never before or since had fruite, bare then a publicane ripened for Christianitie. Unwilling should I have beene to have performed either of the promises of Zacheus, when I enjoyed those vanities, which I termed goods: for I ever was as slow to the acts of charitie, as to those of justice. But what I kept from others, is now taken from mee: and what I was un-willing to restore, is returned to the owner, Shall I therfore reine at him, because hee required his owne? Shall I murmur at him, for that fault which is mine? Hee found mee false; and would [Page 195] trust mee noe longer. Must this his know ledg redound to his dishonour? Shall I blame him for his discoverie of my false-hood, and negligence; and not rather ingeniously confesse the guilt of my wickednesse? 'Tis I, 'tis I, that am unjust: 'tis hee, 'tis hee that is righteous: and yet though I am unjust, and hee is righteous, my sinnes are punished to my greater advantage. I am now, in this povertie, made liker unto him: for to the Scribe hee said, The foxes have holes, Mat: 8.20.and the birds of the aire have nests; but the sonne of man hath not where on to lay his head. House hee had none; yea, and friend hee had none; for even those did crucifie him, whom hee came to redeeme. One of his disciples became a traitour: and when hee came to his owne, Io: 1.11his owne receaved him not. When hee was hungrie, instead of figges hee found nothing but leaves; Mat: 21 19. and at another time hee contented him selfe with a piece of a broyled fish, Luc: 24 42.and an hony-kombe. When hee was thirstie, hee was offered vineger to drinke; Io: 19.29. Mat: 27 28.31. and never was it knowne that his garment was changed, save when the Iewes put on him the skarlet roabe; and when they had mocked him, they tooke't from him againe. The disciple is not above his master; c: 10.24.nor the servant above his Lord. If hee be my master, I shall be contented with my povertie: if hee be my Lord, I shall rejoyce in my losses. Povertie is the liverie which his servants weare: but this [Page 196] povertie is seated more in spirit, then in purse: for those hee pronounced truely blessed; and to them hee promised the kingdome of heaven. Mat: 5.3. The poore that are wicked, hee double hate's, both because they neglect their common dueties; and for contemning that poverty, which hee send's for a blessing. Those who have least of temporall goods, should most be busied about things eternall. The rich have some plea for neglecting his service, because they are busied in managing their estates: but the poore have noe pretence for failing in their dueties, to whom God hath afforded nothing for their hinderance. Is: 66.2 To this man will I looke (saith God hin selfe) even to him that is poore. Yet hee stayeth not here; but farther describeth what poore hee intendeth, and saith, Even him that is of a contrite spirit, and trembleth at my word. Prov: 19.1. It is onely the poore man walking in his integritie, who is better then hee that is perverse in his lipps. The prophet doeth promise that The meeke shall increase their joy in the Lord; Is. 29.19.and the poore among men shall rejoyce in the holy one of Israel: But this promise belongeth onely to the godly. If my God will but vouchsafe to sanctifie my povertie, I shall be richer then those, who have the world at command: Iam: 2.5. for hee hath chosen the poore of this world, rich in faith, and heires of the Kingdome which hee hath promised to them that love him. If I can be sure of heaven, I shall [Page 197] never care for the treasures of the earth. ‘Make mee thy child, ô God, by grace; & then I shall willingly passe through povertie, to unspeakeable glory.’ The world may scorne mee; but it shall not ruine mee, Povertie is contemptible; but it may end in riches. True it is, that now I am fallen into this decay, I must expect the frownes, and scorne of the people. But what of that? Earthly honour is but the fondnesse of opinion: and the credit of the world is as falsely grounded, as suddainly lost. The sporting winds that tosse the ships upon the swelling ocean, doe often convert their passe-time into furie; and sinke at once both the ship, and the adventurer. The idolatrous Mammonist that worship's his coyne, is sometimes bereft of his speechlesse idoll by the fellonious robber. Stormes, or waters, or time and age can cause our proudest structures to fal upon their knees: and when that is gone which purchased our credit, our contempt is as greate as once was our honour. The world doe's reverence none but those, who are accounted rich. It is just in our times, as it was in the dayes when the Apostle lived. Iam: 2.2. If there come into an assembly a man with a gold ring, in goodly apparell; and there come in allso a poore man, in vile raiment: vers: 3.They have respect to him that weareth the gay cloathing, and say unto him, Sit thou here, in a good place: And say to the [Page 198] other, Stand thou here, or sit under his footestoole. But, for this Saint Iames say's, They are partiall in them selves; and are become judges of evill thoughts. vers. 4. If I derive my honour from the God of honour, I shall never vallew how low the world esteeme's mee. The Elme, and the Ash are as apt for service, as the Cedar, and the Cypresse. The coursest cloath afford's more warmth, then the taffaties, and sattaines. Those bodies that glitter in gold, & tissue, shall appeare as naked at the greate tribunall, as the poorest beggar. The humble and meeke have more content in the meanest cottage, then the prowde and ambitious in the towring edifices. The coursest bread with the blessing of God, can nourish the body as well as the whitest, and purest manchet. Suppose I should be driven to begge my foode; would not that which I sued for as well satisfie my hunger, as if it had beene bought, and procured by my coyne? If yet I should aske, and be denyed, when the violence of hunger command's mee to petition; howsoever I have thus much to quiet my mind, that the more I pine, the more neere I draw to the place of delight: for when I am out of the world, I shall inherit a kingdome. What difference is there betweene guift, and price? It alters not the thing; but onely varie's the manner of our getting the thing. If I beg for necessaries; they are as apt for use, as those that I can buy. [Page 199] Againe; I begge but of those, to whom they are lent. If I speede in my suite, my thanks must be first directed to God, by whose bountie I receave: and next unto man, for fullfilling his duety. If I am denyed what I aske, I must know that the hand of providence is in that denyall: for though the devill may worke in him that refuseth; yet God doeth speake to mee in the repulse. Hunger, and thirst, and cold, and nakednesse, all are but tryalls of my patience, and hasteners of my deliverance. If creditours should deprive mee of my beloved liberty, I should but be eased from wandering abroad in the wearisome world. The iron gates have not strength, and power to shutt out my God. Hee spake to Ieremiah, Ier: 39.15. Act: 5.19. Prov: 22.27. and comforted the Apostles when they were locked up in the prisons. If those people to whom I am indebted, should be so mercilesse as to take away the very bed from under mee, when I have nothing to pay; peradventure I might sleepe as well upon the earth that beares mee, as those that lye on their beds of downe. The Patriarch Iacob had but the ground for his couch, Gen: 28 11. and the stones for his pillow, when in his sweetest sleepe hee was promised by God, the land where hee lay. vers. 13 Yet peradventure I may be eased of this miserie too, if I addresse my complaint to the defender of the poore. 2. King 4.1. When the widdow of the prophet cryed to Elisha, and sayd, Thy servant [Page 200] my husband is dead, and thou knowest that thy servant did feare the Lord; and the creditour is come to take my two sonnes unto him, to be bondmen: vers. 6. vers. 7. even then Elisha multiplyed her oyle; and with that shee satisfied her hungrie creditour. Poverty hath beene frequently the object of pittie; yea and sometimes allso the ground of plenty. When Ierusalem was taken by Nebuchad-nezzar King of Babylon, Ier: 39.10. Nebuzaradan the Captaine of the guard left the poore of the people, which had nothing in the land of Iudak; and to them hee gave both vine-yards, and fields. God hath ever beene a protectour of the poore that were faithfull; and relieved their indigencie, Rom. 15.26. when they trusted in him. It pleased them of Macedonia, and Achaia (sayth Saint Paul) to make a certaine contribution for the poore saints at Ierusalem. Hee tooke away my riches, that I might depend upon him; and that, finding the uncertainty of earth, I might rely upon heaven. Mat: 6.25. Hee command's mee to take noe thought for my life, what I shall eate, or what I shall drinke; nor yet for my body, what I shall put on. vers. 30The life is more them meate; and the body then raiment. Surely if hee cloathe's the grasse of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven; much more am I certaine that hee will cloath his servants. From him proceedeth every good guift. Iam: 1.17. Hee will either send mee what I desire; or else hee will cause mee not to desire what hee resolve's not to [Page 201] send mee. Whatsoever hee giveth, hee intendeth it for his honour. If I may honour him by hunger, or thirst, or whatsoëver sufferance; his is the glory, & mine shall be the reward. Those are not rich, whom the world so esteemeth. Content is certainly the best riches; and that is onely proper to the godly. Reu: 3.17.Laodicea said, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have neede of nothing: but alasse, shee was miserable, and wretched, and poore, and blind, and naked. When the Israëlites were to give an offering to the Lord, to make an atonement for their soules, Ex: 30.15. the rich were not to give more, nor the poore to give lesse then halfe a shekel. If God should require so much at my hands, I should be apt to pleade the want of money: or if I had so much, I feare that I should appeare too unwilling to spare it. But all coveteousnesse is a distrust of providence; and either denyeth the power, or questioneth the will of the greate disposer. Hee provided for the poorest Israëlite: on him therfore must I depend for reliefe, & comfort. Something hee require's that I should offer unto him. I have nothing of the world's. All that I can offer, is but my selfe; and certainly my selfe shall be best accepted. If I can but present him an honest heart, it matter's not how hungry, or thirstie, or cold, or naked the body is, which conteineth that heart. Iob. 34.19.Hee accepteth not the persons of Princes; nor regardeth the rich more then the [Page 202] poore: for they all are the worke of his hands. The rich may offer to him of their aboundance: Mar: 12 44. but I, of my want, will give him my heart, which is all that I have. Peradventure hee will say of mee, vers. 43 as hee did once of the widdow, This poore woman hath cast more in, then all they that have cast into the treasurie. Thus if I sieke the Lord, I cannot want: for so the Prophet telleth mee; Ps: 34.10. The young Lyons doe lack, and suffer hunger: but they that sieke the Lord, shall not want any good thing. Saint Paul assureth mee saying, 1. Cor: 3.22. Whether Paul, or Apollos, or Cephas, or the world, or life, or death, or things present, or things to come; vers. 23all are yours, and yee are Christ's, and Christ is God's. And now, what can I feare? Whereat can I be displeased? God is mine, and I am his. For what hee giveth mee, I will be thankfull: whatsoever earthly thing hee depriveth mee of, I will be contented. This poverty will not endure for ever. If it continueth while I live, yet it must end when I die; & that blessed time draweth neerer and neerer every moment. I am assured of a deliverance; I must attend with patience. Afflicted Iob doe's certainly assure mee that, Iob. 36.15. God delivereth the poore in his affliction; and openeth their eares in oppression. The same God promised to Tzion, saying, I will abundantly blesse her provision: Ps. 132.15.I will satisfie her poore with bread. The Psalmist refresheth mee with unspeakeable comfort, when hee telleth [Page 203] mee that, Ps: 9.18 Ps: 72.12. The needy shall not allways be forgotten: the expectation of the poore shall not perish for ever. The Lord shall deliver the needy, when hee cryeth: the poore allso; and him that hath noe helper. Hee will defend the poore, Ps: 82.3and fatherlesse: hee will doe justice to the afflicted, and needy. Ps: 140.12. Hee will maintaine the cause of the afflicted; and the right of the poore. Thus am I promised; and thus shall it be performed. It is noe new thing with God to take pitty upon the distressed. The Prophet Isaiah saith unto him, Thou hast beene a strength to the poore; Is: 25.4a strength to the needy in his distresse; a refuge from the storme; a shadow from the heate. Ps: 34.6This poore man cryed (saith David) and the Lord heard him; and saved him out of all his troubles. Againe: Hee raiseth up the poore out of the dust; Ps. 113.7. Ps. 10.14. Heb. 13 5.and lifteth the needy out of the dung-hill. Therfore I resolve that I will commit my selfe unto him; for hee is the helper of the friendlesse. Hee hath promised that hee will never leave nor forsake them that trust in him. Parents are commonly indulgent to their children: yet because their naturall affection is possible to be quenched, therfore say's the Psalmist, When my father, and my mother forsake mee; Ps. 27.10.then the Lord, will take mee up. I will therfore begge, seing now I am poore: I will begge of God, because hee is rich: I will begge of God to keepe mee, to love mee, to blesse mee; that so I may never forsake my dependance on [Page 204] him; nor hee his love, and compassion to mee. Earnestly will I besiech him, and confidently will I resolve, Rom: 8 38. that Neither death, nor life, nor Angells, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present; vers. 39.nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall ever be able to separate mee from the love of God, which is in Iesus Christ our Lord.
The Prayer.
FAther of pitties, Lord of comfort, thou that hearest the cryes of the afflicted; Iob. 34.28. Ps: 32.4 looke downe in mercy on a distressed sinner. Thy hand, ô God, is heavy upon mee: for thou hast taken from mee what I called mine, by reason that I did not acknowledg it thine. ô Lord thou knowest my bleeding heart, my sorrowfull eyes, and my mournfull teares. Thou seest how poore I am; and what miseries I suffer. Ps: 44.13. I am a scorne to my neighbours; and a derision to them that are round about mee. My life is become a burden unto mee, because thou hast deprived mee of the comforts thereof. My lovers, Ps: 38.11.and mine acquaintance stand looking upon my miserie; and my kinsmen stand a farre off, Lord, if it be thy pleasure thus to humble mee with poverty; let it be thy goodnesse to give mee patience to endure it. The pride of my heart, and my forgetfullnesse [Page 205] of thee in the time of plenty, did cry aloud for thy severest punishments. Now, ô now, I feele thy just displeasure; and I groane under the burden, and weight thereof. Yet thou Lord, canst ease mee; thou canst restore mee. Heare, Lord, and have mercy: Lord, Ps: 30.10.be thou my helper. Suffer mee noe more to rely upon the arme of flesh; 1. Tim: 6.17. or to put my trust in un-certaine riches: but make mee for ever depend upon thy bounty. Forgive mee, ô father, the sinnes which I committed, when I lived in prosperitie: Ps: 30.7 for I am sensible that they are a cause, why at this time thou hidest thy face from mee; and causest mee to be troubled. O give mee a sight, and sense of the greatnesse of them; and true contrition, and sorrow for them; that so, though the world forsake mee, yet I may find favour, and mercy in thy sight. Without thy assistance, this sore burden is too heavy for mee to beare. Ps: 38.4 Lord either remove it from mee, or make it easier for mee. Lend mee thy gratious, and helping hand; Ps: 23.4 that as I am scourged with thy rod, so I may leane upon thy staffe. Let mee never despaire of thy comfortable reliefe: but in all my miseries be thou my refuge. Be pleased to endue mee with patience from above; that I may give noe advantage to the tempter, in my sufferings. Open the eyes, and the charitable hands of those that should see, and know mine adversitie: and so enlarge [Page 206] their hearts, that they may administer comfort, and reliefe to mee, in the middest of my necessities. Ps. 147 9. Dan. 1.15. O thou that feedest even the young Ravens, which call upon thee; thou that didst blesse the pulse to thy servant Daniel; be pleased to fill my hungry soule with the blessings of thy bounty. Graunt that whatsoever I suffer in my body, my soule may thereby draw neerer unto thee. In the miserie of hunger, doe thou satisfie mee with thy grace: in my scorching thirst, doe thou cause mee with joy to draw water out of the wells of salvation: Is. 12.3. in the pinching cold, doe thou warme my devotion: and in my poorest, and meanest habit, doe thou cloath my soule with the righteousnesse of my Redeemer. O suffer mee not to offend thee in my greatest want: but make mee relie, and depend upon thee. Teach mee, by this chastisement, the vanity of the world; and weane mee from the fond delights thereof. Prov. 10.22. It is thy blessing onely that maketh rich; and thou addest noe sorrow with it: send mee that blessing to ease mee of my sorrowes. Mat. 6.33. It is thy promise that if first I sieke thy Kingdome; & the righteousnesse thereof; then all other things shall be added unto mee. Make mee thus to sieke what thou commandest; and then give unto mee that which thou promisest. Ps. 119.91.All things, in their order, doe service unto thee: Lord make them, in some measure, serviceable unto mee, that I may [Page 207] the better be enabled to be serviceable unto thee. O thou, my Iesus, who didst hunger, Mat. 4.2. Io. 19.28. and thirst, looke mercifully upon thy servant in this state of miserie: and so carie mee through the stormes of this troublesome life; that, in the end, I may arive at the faire haven of eternall peace, and rest; through thine owne meritts, and passion, ô Iesus Christ, my Lord, and onely Saviour. Amen.
soliloquy 2 THE SECOND SOLILOQUIE. Treating of hunger, both corporall, and spirituall.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation:
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
WHen Sion bewayled her pittyfull estate, shee cryed out in her miserie, Lam. 4.9. and said, They that be slaine with the sword, are better then they that are slaine with hunger: for these pine onely, stricken thorow for want of the fruits of the field. Surely this affliction was most dreadfull in the sufferance; which soundeth so heavily in the sad complaint. Hunger hath beene allways acknowledged violent; evē of force to breake thorow walls of stone. The cry for bread, bread, bread, strike's such compassion in the eares of the auditors, that the hardest heart would melt at the voyce. Hee that taught us [Page 209] to pray for our dayly bread, Mat. 6.11. knew the necessi [...]ie of our dayly foode. But I, poore I, doe begge, and pray, and cry for bread, for dayly bread; and yet I find neither supply, nor hope. Had I the imployment, & righteousnesse of Moses, Deut: 9 18. I might fall downe before the Lord for fortie dayes and fortie nights, as hee did; and in all that time, neither eate bread, nor drinke water: Yea, and if once would not serve the turne, I could returne againe to my former abstinence. Had I authoritie from heaven, as Elijah had, I could eate, and drinke, 1. King 19.8.and goe in the strength of that meate fortie dayes, and fortie nights too. Could I encounter the tempter, as once my Saviour did in the wildernesse, Mat: 4.2. I might likewise fast both fortie dayes, and fortie nights. But miracles are ceased: I cannot therfore hope for so long an abstinence; nor know I where to satisfie my hunger. I dayly want, that I may dayly pray: and in this want I feele a necessitie of depending on my God. O what shall I doe? Where shall I sieke? To whom shall I complaine? My spirits are fainting: my heart is even ready to dye within mee: 1. Sam: 25.37. and my feeble knees are un-able to beare the weight of my body. I am ready to perish for want of foode; and yet mee think's, I am somewhat un-willing to disclose my wants, or else I am afraid my suite will be denyed. When David pursued the Amalekites, after [Page 210] the spoyling of Ziklag, 1. Sam. 30.11. his souldiers found an Egyptian in the field, and brought him to David; and gave him bread, and hee did eate; and they made him drinke water: vers: 12And they gave him a piece of a cake of figges, and two clusters of raisins; and when hee had eaten, his spirit came againe to him; for hee had eaten noe bread, nor drunke any water three dayes, and three nights. As that Eunuch was, so, mee think's, am I. I am feeble, and faint, and my spirit is gone: I know not what to doe for something to refresh mee. O, had I but such bread, and such drinke, how thankfully should I take, what diverse doe scorne! Labour I would, to procure my sustenance; but I cannot worke, because I have not to eate. Eze: 4.16. Walke I would, industriously in my calling; but the staffe of bread is taken from mee and without a staffe I cannot walke. My wants I know, and complaine of them: but where shall I find a charitable person, who will satisfie my appetite? But, why doe I make these sad laments; and condole my poverty, as if noe people ever had suffered the like? In former times whole nations, and countries have beene pined with such miserie, as now I endure. Famine is a punishment which cometh from God; & doeth not allways derive it's cause from things that are naturall. 2. King 25.3. At the siege of Ierusalem, on the nineth day of the fourth moneth, the famine so prevayled within the citty, that there was noe [Page 211] bread for the people of the land.Lam: 1.19.My Priests (say's [...]hee in her greate complaint) and mine Elders gave up the ghost in the citty; while they sought their meate, to relieve their soules. Severall famines have beene often threatned; & as severely, many times, have beene brought to passe. Among other curses wherewith the Israëlites were menaced, upon their disobedience, this was not the least of them, which was tould them by the mouth of Moses, when hee said Thou shalt eate the fruit of thine owne body, the flesh of thy sonnes, and of thy daughters, Deu: 28 53.which the Lord thy God hath given thee, in the siege; and in the straitnesse where with thine enemies shall distresse thee. And againe the Lord himselfe did speake unto them, and say, If yee will not hearken unto mee, Lev: 26 27. vers. 28but walke contrarie unto mee, Then I will walke allso contrarie unto you in furie; and I, even I will chastife you seaven times for your sinnes: vers. 29And yee shall eate the flesh of your sonnes; and the flesh of your daughters shall yee eate. This was threatned, and this was inflicted; the sad storie whereof is obvious to every willing eye, according as it is recorded in sacred Writt. 2. King 6.25. A greate famine there was in Samaria; and behould they besieged it, untill an Asse's head was sould for fourescore pieces of silver; and a fourth part of a Kabbe of dove's dung for five pieces of silver: vers: 26And as the King of Israel was passing by, upon the wall, there cryed a woman unto him, saying, Helpe [Page 212] my Lord,vers: 27ô King: And hee said, If the Lord doe not helpe thee; whence shall I helpe thee? Out of the barne floore; or out of the wine-presse? And the King said unto her, vers. 28what ayleth thee? And shee answered, This woman said unto mee, Give thy sonne, that wee may eate him to day; and wee will eate my sonne to morrow: vers. 29So wee boyled my sonne, and did eate him. And I said unto her, on the next day, Give thy sonne, that wee may eate him: & shee hath hidden him. O what a famine was this, which instructed nature to become unnaturall! The lives of the mothers were preserved onely by the deaths of their issue. The children, in recompence for the milke they had sucked, were enforced to pay the tribute of their blood. Those bellies which harboured the children unborne, were made the tombes of the murdered children. They which were a burden once to the parent, were now the nourishers. The famine did make the innocent guilty: & to prevent the hands of crueller executioners, the mothers did friendly betray them to their murder. They expresse their love, in preserving them from starving: and so at once were mercifull to the babes, in borrowing their lives; and carefull for themselves, to prevent their destruction. Lord, what a horrid act was this, when the child which was tenderly beloved of the parents, was greedily chewed in the teeth of the mother! Our [Page 213] off-spring are bound by the commandement of God, to render us honour; but yet not thus [...]o dye for our lives: yet these innocents were obedient before they knew it; and became the preservers of them that had nourished them. In the place where first they receaved life they preserved life by the deaths of themselves. Thus did their mothers most truely set them at their hearts: but more in affection to themselves, then their issue. The children dyed, that they might not dye: they were murdered, that they might not be starved. They were dandled to their destruction, by the hands of their parents; and yet the act did appeare rather care then cruelty.Lam: 4.10.The hands of the pittifull women (saith the Prophet) have sodden their owne children: they were their meate in the destruction of the daughter of my people. Yet their flesh was not sensible of the fiercnesse of the fire: nor did they feele the teeth of their greedie parents. The bellies of the unnaturall became their graves: and yet if there the dead had receaved their rest, then their inhumanitie might have seemed to be pitie. Those who once required the assistance of a mid-wife, were a second time delivered of their deceased burdens. But, was there noe Prophet among them left to intreate? Was there none to intercede to the All mighty for them? c: 2.20. Shall the women eate their fruit; and children of a [Page 214] spanne long? The head of an asse was the ransome af a child: and the dung of the doves a repreever af the infants. But when the heads of the beasts had beene devoured by the people; the very women themselves were transformed in to beasts: Yea, that cruelty which the beastes would have stood amazed at; the greedie starvelings blushed not to practise. O, mee think's, the remembrance of the doves should have heightened their affection; and not the dung of the doves have ushered in their murders. This was a famine wich I tremble to remember: and it grieveth mee to thinke that my sexe was so cowardly. Had the ould and the young expired together, I should have thought the women indulgent mothers. This famine was worse then that which Rabshakeh threatned to Ierusalem: for hee menaced but the feeding on the dung of themselves; but here was served in the very fruit of their loynes. Yet that other was terrible too, even in the threat; when railing Rabshakeh said unto Eliakim, Shebna, and Ioah, 2 King: 18.27. Hath my master sent mee to thy master, and to thee, to speake these words? Hath hee not sent mee to the men that sit on the wall, that they may eate their owne dung, and drinke their owne pisse? These, these were famines which are more dreadfull in their relation [...], then mine is in the sufferance: yet seing they were universall, they were the easier to be [Page 215] borne. Miserie hath some comfort, if it be [...]ot singuler. The sufferance is easier, when [...]ce it grow'es generall. If the whole world [...]ere reduced to the same distresse as now [...] suffer, I should ease my complaint by the sufferance of others. But is not this an argument of uncharitable wickednesse, when [...] grieve not so much at my particular durance, as I repine because the penurie is not univerfall? While others have, I may hope for reliefe: but if the famine were generall, I could not expect it. This is the wickednesse of most which sulfer, that they vailew their miseries more by comparison then justice; and deeme themselves the more unhappy, because every one else is not so low as they. I must therfore take heede that I neither offend in my sufferance, nor repine because I am singular. If I take this hunger as a chastisement from God, I may hope to be relieved in his owne good time. Let mee enquire into the cause of this my visitation; and so I may be instructed how to demeane my selfe. In the depth of this affliction I cannot choose but behould an angrie Lord. Hee, ô hee is offended, who said in the Psalmes, Every beast of the forrest is mine; Ps: 50.10. vers: 11 vers. 12and the cattell upō a thousand hills. I know all the fowles of the mountaines; and the wild beastes of the field are mine. The world is mine, and the fullnesse thereof. Hee hath enough, I see, to give; though [Page 216] hee deemeth mee not worthie enough to receave. I am afraid that I formerly thanked him not for what I had; and therfore now hee decreeth that I shall wish to have. It hath beene commonly his custome thus to punish those that offended. To disobedient Israel hee threatned this, and allso the sword, Deut. 28.48: by the mouth of Moses, saying, Thou shalt serve thine enemies which the Lord shall send against thee, in hunger, and in thirst, and in nakednesse, & in want of all things. Againe, of impenitent Israel hee saith by his Prophet, Is. 9.20 Hee shall snatch on the right hand, and be hungrie; and hee shall eate on the left hand, and they shall not be satisfied: they shall eate every man the flesh of his owne armes. Touching Ierusalem hee said by his Prophet Ezekiel, Eze: 4.10. Thy meate which thou shalt eate, shall be by weight; twentie shekels a day: from time to time shalt thou eate it. vers. 11Thou shalt drinke allso water by measure; the sixth part of an Hin from time to time shalt thou drinke. vers. 12And thou shalt eate it as barley cakes; and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, vers. 13in their sight. And the Lord said unto him, Even thus shall the children of Israel eate their defiled bread among the Gentiles, whither I will drive them. Among other curses which Israël should endure for rebellion, and disobedience, the fore-runner of famine was not the least. Deut: 28.39. Thou shalt plant vine yards, and dresse them; but shalt [Page 217] neither drinke of the wine, nor gather of the grapes; for the wormes shall eate them. Among other punishments sent upon idolaters, the Prophet terrifieth them with this above all: When they shall be hungrie, Is: 8.21.they shall frett themselves, and curse their King, and their God, and looke up-wards. Here was allmost all the miserie that man could suffer, & the wickednesse that hee could act, in this present world. Hunger was sent as a punishment for idolatrie; and rebellion, blasphemie, and impenitency were the effects of the punishment. Hunger produceth rebellion; they curse their King: rebellion blasphemie; they curse their God: and blasphemie both impudence, and impenitencie; they looke up-wards, towards heaven, as if they were not ashamed. The curse which should happen to the enemies of Sion was accounted greate, because they should be resembled to people that are hungrie: c: 29.8.As when a hungrie man dreameth, and behould hee eateth; but hee awaketh, and his soule is empty: or, as when a thirstie man dreameth, and behold hee drinketh; but hee awaketh, and behould hee is faint, and his soule hath appetite: So shall the multitude of the nations bee, that fight against mount Sion. But what is the cause why the anger of the most high is commonly discovered in the curse of famine? What moveth the Lord to punish his creatures with this pining destruction? Whence ariseth his [Page 216] [...] [Page 217] [...] [Page 218] wrath, that his vengeance is so terrible? Alasse, alasse, I neede not wonder that his furie is so fierce, if I doe but remember how justly hee punisheth. Hee smiteth not, before wee offend: hee punisheth not, before wee transgresse. When our sinnes are so impudent, as to provoke his displeasure, how can hee choose but awake, Ps: 78.65.as one out of sleepe; & like a mighty man that shouteth by reason of wine? For iniquitie onely doeth hee visitt: hee visiteth our offences with the rodde; Ps. 89.32.and our sinne with scourges. For this did hee give Israël cleanesse of teeth, Amos. 4.6.in all their citties; and want of bread in all their places: yet they returned not unto the Lord.2. Sam: 21.1.For Saul, and for his bloodie issue, because hee slew the Gibeonites, therfore there was a famine in the dayes of David three yeeres, yeere after yeere: and it ceased by the execution of seaven of Saul's sonnes. Is: 5.13. Therfore (saith God) my people are gone into captivitie, because they have noe knowledg: and their honourable men are famished; and their multitude dryed up with thirst. This is the punishment for sinne: and yet, upon repentance, the Lord is as willing to remove it from us, as, when wee offended, hee was just in sending it. His promises were gratious to the Gentiles, which should be fullfilled by Christ, as his Prophet relateth them. Is: 49.10. They shall not hunger, nor thirst; neither shall the heate, nor Sun smite them: for hee that [Page 219] hath mercy on them shall leade them; even by the springs of water hee shall guide them. Yet, let mee not too much forget my selfe. Though this famine be one of the weapons with which the Lord doeth commonly fight, and wound his enemies; I must not therfore conclude that they all are forsaken, and hated, who endure this affliction. I must not conclude that, Because with this hee punisheth his enemies, therfore with this hee correcteth not his saints. This were but to frame an argument, to urge mee to despaire: and to judge my selfe with greater severitie, then the Lord himselfe, I hope, will judge mee. Every scourge which hee taketh in his hand, may be for chastisement to the godly, as well as a judgment to the wicked. Though this must bring mee to a sight of my sinnes; yet it may not enforce mee to a distrust of his mercies. Though sometimes the godly dye under an affliction: yet they know that they shall live by the merits of Christ. Wee have noe more freedome from punishments here, then the worst of reprobates. Yea, our portion is greater and bitterer here then theirs: 1. Cor. 11.32. but wee are chastened of the Lord, that wee might not be condemned with the world. There is a greater deale of difference betweene corrections, & judgments. The beloved child may be wounded as deepe, yea deeper then an enemie: but the deeper his Wound, the surer is his cure. To [Page 220] the godly they are afflictions; to the reprobate torments: to the godly chastisements; upon the reprobate revenge. At the famine in Samaria, 1. King 18.5. good Obadiah went into the land, unto all fountaines of water, and unto all brookes, to sieke for grasse, that hee might save the horses, and mules alive. When the Prophet Ieremiah was cast into the dungeon, Ier: 38.9.hee was like to dy for hunger in the place; for there was noe bread in the citty. 1. Cor. 4.11. The holy Apostles did both hunger, and thirst, and were naked, and buffeted; and had noe certaine dwelling place. They were in wearinesse, 2. Cor. 11.27.and painefullnesse; in watchings often; in hunger, and thirst; in fastings often; in cold, Act: 10 9.and nakednesse. When Saint Peter went up upon the house to pray, the vision appeared to him while hee was hungry. vers. 10 Saint Paul professed that hee had learned both how to be abased, Phil. 4.12.and how to abound. Every where, & in all things hee was instructed, both to be full, and to be hungrie: both to abound, and to suffer neede. Gen. 12 10. When a famine was in the land where Abraham dwelt, hee was enforced to goe downe into Egypt, to sojourne there: for the famine was grievous in the land. Many saints, and servants of God have drunke very deepe of this cup of afliction. Why should I then, be too much dejected; and complaine so of want, as if God had forgotten mee? How know I to the contrarie, but it may be his pleasure, even by this affliction, to bring [Page 221] mee to humilitie, and so unto glory? It is my part to thanke him for his visitation; and not to repine at his correction. Plenty is commonly the ground of forgetfullnesse. I should never have knowne the benefit of fullnesse, if I had not learned it by an empty bellie. I will therfore begge of him a blessing to this crosse; that the more I want of out-ward blessings, the more eagerly I may sieke for inward content. I will resolve, Hab. 3.17. with the Prophet, that, Allthough the figg-tree shall not blossome; neither fruit be in the vines: though the labour of the Olive shall faile, and the fields shall yeeld mee noe meate: though the flocks shall be cutt off from the foald, vers. 18& there shall be noe heard in the stalls: Yet I will rejoyce in the Lord; I will joy in the God of my salvation. Rom. 8 35.Neither tribulation, nor distresse, nor persecution cutt, nor famine, nor nakednesse, nor sword shall ever seperate mee from the love of Christ. I know that hee which can send provisions without content; can likewise feede mee, when I least expect it. Hag. 1.6. Yee have sowed much (saith the Prophet) and bring in litle: yee eate, but yee have not enough: yee drinke, but yee are not filled with drinke: yee cloath you, but there is none warme: and hee that earneth wages: earneth wages, to putt in a bagge with holes. The curse is as greate, to eate without satisfaction; as to want what wee desire. I know that God oftentimes hath sent a famine, that so his people might the more depend upon [Page 222] him. So hath his goodnesse many times appeared, Gen: 42 5. when men had least expectation of supplies. True it is, that, when the famine was sore in the land of Canaan, the Sonnes of Israel bought corne in Egypt. Men have ever vallewed their bellies above their estates. In the Egyptian famine Ioseph bought all the land of Egypt for Pharaoh the King: c: 47.20for the Egyptians sould every man his field, because the famine prevailed over them: so the land became Pharaoh's. When Esau was faint, comeing out of the field, and Iacob refused him a messe of pottage, under the price of his birthright; c: 25.32. vers: 33 hee said, Behold I am at the point to die, and what profit shall this birth right doe to mee? So hee sould his birth-right unto Iacob. The Prophet lamenting the people of Ierusalem, Lam: 1.11. say's, All her people sigh; they seeke bread: they have given their pleasant things for meate, to relieve the soule. All these have beene furnished by ordinarie meanes: but I allso reade that God hath provided, when men could least expect, 1. King 17.10. vers: 12 or helpe. When the widdow of Zarephath had nothing left but a poore handfull of meale in a barrell, and a litle oyle in a cruse; and went out to gather two sticks, that shee might goe in, and dresse it for her, and her sonne, that they might eate it, and dye: even then shee receaved comfort from the Prophet Elijah: vers: 16 for her harrell of meale wasted not; neither did the cruse of oyle faile; as the Lord had [Page 223] spoken by the mouth of the Prophet. When the selfesame Prophet, by the command of God, dwelt by the brooke Cherith, that is before Iordan (even before the increase of the meale, vers: 5. and the oyle was miraculously effected) in a wonderfull manner hee was fed by the Ravens: vers. 6. for they brought him bread, and flesh in the morning; and bread, and flesh in the evening; and hee dranke of the brooke. Againe; when the same Elijah fled to Beersheba, upon the threats of Iezebel; c: 19.4. hee went a daye's journie into the wildernesse, and came, and sate under a Iuniper tree: and hee requested for himselfe, that hee might dye, and said, It is enough now, ô Lord; take away my life; for I am not better then my fathers. vers. 5. Yet as hee lay and slept under the Iuniper tree, behold there an Angel touched him, and said unto him, Arise,vers. 6.and eate. And when hee looked, and behold there was a cake baked on the coales, and a cruse of water at his head; hee did eate, and drinke; and layd him downe againe. vers: 7.And the Angel of the Lord came againe the second time, and touched him, and said, Arise, and eate. vers: 8.And bee arose againe the second time, and did eate; and went in the strength of the meate fourtie dayes. Gen: 21 14.When Abraham rose up early in the morning, and tooke bread, and a botle of water, and gave it unto Hagar, putting it on her shoulder, and the child Ismaël; and sent her away; and shee departed, and wandered [Page 224] in the wildernesse of Beersheba: after a while, the water was spent in the botle; vers: 15and shee, poore soule, vers. 16 cast the child under one of the shrubbs: And shee went, and sate her downe over against him, a good way off, as it were a bow shoote (for shee said, Let mee not see the death of the child) And shee sate over against him, vers. 17and lift up her voyce, and wept. Yet, even then, God heard the voyce of the lad; and the Angel of God called to Hagar out of heaven, and said unto her, What ayleth thee Hagar? Feare not, for God hath heard the voyce of the lad where hee is. Arise, vers. 18.lift up the lad, and hold him in thine hand; vers. 19for I will make of him a greate nation. And God opened her eyes, and shee saw a well of water; and shee went and filled the botle with water, and gave the lad drinke. Thus my God, if hee please, can doe for mee too: for I cry, and I weepe, with distressed Hagar; not for drinke, Ps. 145 19. but bread: Who knoweth but the Lord may heare my cry, and may helpe mee? The birds that nest in the Cedars of Lebanon; the goates on the hills, and the conies in the rocks; the beastes of the forrests, and the roaring Lyons; the creeping things in the greate and wide sea, and the Leviathan which is made to play in the waters; Ps. 104 27. These all wayte upon him, Iob. 38.41. Ps. 145.15.that hee may give them their meate in due season. Hee provideth for the Raven his foode: when his young ones cry unto God, they wander, for lack of meate. The eyes of all [Page 225] wayte upon him, and hee giveth them their meate in due season.vers. 16Hee openeth his hand and satisfieth the desire of every living thing. Why then should I vexe, and torment my selfe in this time of want, as if either the Lord were ignorant of my calamitie; or else were unable, or unwilling to helpe mee? I resolve with my selfe, that, though the conflict bee greate betweene my selfe and my appetite; though my stomack cry, and my belly complaine; though leanenesse possesseth my cheekes, and palenesse setteth up it's rest in my countenance; though feeblnesse stealeth upon my joynts, and faintnesse on my spirits; yet will I not leave my confidence in my God. I shall not the sooner purchase my desires, by declining his mercy. If any thing cometh, it is sent by his providence: if nothing cometh, yet still I have God, who is the best of all. If it be his pleasure to bring mee to the earth by this consuming want, my body indeede shall yeeld the lesse foode to the wormes; but my soule shall be filled with un-speakeable comforts. Lord, what a base lumpe of clay is this, which would so tyrannize over my soule, as to make it leave it's confidence in thee! What art thou that complainest, and yawnest and gapest so greedily for satisfaction? Thou art but earth, at the best; and by the earth thou hast beene fed; and to the earth thou shalt returne. The foode which thou desirest, is a thing to be [Page 226] loathed, if thou diddest but consider in what manner thou wert furnished. The earth produceth grasse, for the foode of the beastes: they are fatted, to furnish the tables of men: and when men doe plentifully feede upon them, the least part thereof conduceth to their nourishment; the most of it goeth out into the draffe: and even that which is putrified, it returne's to the earth againe, to render it fertile. Thus wee live by excrements; and wee are fed by putrefaction. That which wee loath both in the sent, and the sight, is forgotten when wee feede upon it in our bread. Thus I pine then, for nothing but dung, and filth; for want whereof, my belly would force mee to repine against my maker. Our fowles are fed with the filthie wormes that proceede from our dung hills: our fishes are composed of mudde, and slime: our beastes are nourished by vertue of that which wee loath to remember: and from all these is patched up such a body, as at the second, or third hand, is nothing but dung, or whatsoever is worse. Were it not shame then, for mee to suffer this body, which being dead, in three or foure dayes will be odious to the living, to entice my soule to rebell against my maker? O, I may not; I will not. This leanenesse doeth but lecture to mee, what I am framed of; and the soule is comforted in the weakenesse of the prison. [Page 227] That better part doeth long to dwell with the father of spirits. Each bitt I should eate, Heb: 12 9. would but delay my time; and retard the fruition of a crowne of glory. O my God be pleased to send mee thy blessing as well in want, as in plenty; that so I may decree, and resolve with Saint Paul, in whatsoëver state I am, Phil: 4.11.there with to be content. Thus I should be; and thus I desire to be: for hunger, with content, is better then feasting; and feasting, without it, is worse then famine. If God in his wisedome seeth it good for mee that I should be filled, I doubt not of his providence in sending what is good. I will (as I ought) sieke the ordinarie meanes for the preservation of life. I will industriously labour, or earnestly besiech, or painfully travaile for that which may nourish mee. If it cometh as I desire, I will thanke him who sendeth it: if it cometh not as I wish, howsoëver I will labour to be content with my lott. Him will I honour both in plenty, and in want: and to his disposing will I yeeld up my selfe. True it is that hee created meates for the belly, 1. Cor: 6.13.and the belly for meates: but yet hee will destroy both it, and them. Hee hath sent mee this affliction to physick my soule: and to put mee in mind how nicely I have refused in plenty, what now I should thankfully receave in my want. Those that are full, are apt to surfeit; and hasten with more disturbance to [Page 228] the gates of the grave, then wee who in hunger doe willingly meete, and desire our death. Yet I am not so unwilling to live, as that I would refuse my nourishment, though of the meanest sort: nor am I so unwilling to dye, Prov. 27.7. as by unlawfull meanes to satisfie my appetite. The full soule loatheth an honycomb: but to the hungry soule every bitter thing is sweete. I dare not imitate the Israelites, who murmured and repined against Moses and Aaron, Ex: 16.3. and said unto them, Would to God wee had dyed by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when wee sate by the flesh-pots, and when wee did eate bread to the full; for yee have brought us forth into this wildernesse, to kill this whole assembly with hunger. What would it advantage mee, if God in his judgment should send mee my desires? Is it not better to partake of his mercy in miserie, then of his displeasure in plenty? Ps. 78.27. vers. 28 At the desire of the Israëlites hee rained flesh upon them as dust, and feathered fowles like as the sand of the sea: And hee let it fall in the middest of the campe, round about their habitations:vers. 29So they did eate, and were filled; vers. 30hee gave them their owne desire; they were not estranged from their lust. Those on whom hee rained downe Manna to eate, vers. 24and gave them of the corne of heaven; even they were likewise stored with the flocks of the Quailes. But their sweete meate had sowre sawce: vers. 30 vers. 31 for while their meate was yet in their mouths, the [Page 229] wrath of God came upon them, and slew the fattest of them;Prov. 10.22.and smote downe the chosen men in Israël. It is onely the blessing of the Lord that maketh rich; even of him who promised to the Israëlites, Ex: 23.25. if they would serve him, to blesse their bread and their water and to take sicknesse away from the midd'est of them. Hee it was who moved Shobi, and Machir, 2. Sam. 17.27.and Barzillai to bring unto David at Mahanaim, and to his people that were hungrie, and wearie, vers. 28and thirstie in the wildernesse, both beds, and cupps, and earthen vessells: and wheate, and barley, and flowre, and parched corne, and beanes, and lentills, and parched pulse, And honey,vers. 29and butter, and sheepe, and cheese of kine. Luc. 1.53.Hee filleth the hungrie with good things, and the rich hee sendeth emptie away: Iob. 34.28.The cry of the poore cometh unto him; and hee heareth the cry of the afflicted. Hungrie and thirstie, Ps. 107 5.the soules of the Israëlites fainted in them: Then they cryed unto the Lord in their trouble, vers. 6. vers. 9.and hee delivered them out of their distresses. Hee satisfieth the longing soule, and filleth the hungrie soule with goodnesse. Thus hee may doe for mee, as hee did for them; but then I must pray, and that in faith: I must weepe, and that in hope. I must remember my sinnes, which have deserved this punishment; yea greater then here can be inflicted upon mee: and I must thank my Creatour, who [Page 230] visiteth mee in mercy. I must submitt to his pleasure, and kisse the rod. Though now, as was the Prodigall, Lu: 15.14. vers: 16 I am brought into want, and faine would fill my belly even with the huskes that swine doe eate, but noe man giveth them unto mee. vers. 17. Though I know that many hired servants have bread enough, and to spare; and yet I am ready to perish with hunger: Though thus I know my miserie, yet I skarce remember the cause: But I will begg of my heavenly father, vers: 17 that I may come unto my selfe; and then that my selfe may come unto him. I know that hee is angry; and his wrath is terrible: but if I absent my selfe, his displeasure will increase. The longer I strive to keepe out of his sight, the more will be his severitie, and the more grievous my punishment. vers: 18 I will therfore arise, and goe to my father, and say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, vers: 19and before thee, and am noe more worthy to be called thy child: make mee as one of thy hired servants. Iob 42.6. Ps: 102.9. Ps: 80.5 I will abhorre my selfe in dust, and ashes. As David did, so will I: I will eate ashes as it were bread; and I will have plenteousnesse of teares to drinke. I will mourne for my sinnes, which have caused this judgment: and with my teares in mine eyes, & compunction in my heart, and humilitie in my soule, I will fall on my knees before his footestoole, and pray unto him, and say,
The Prayer.
ALl-mighty, and all-sufficient Lord God, who by thy power diddest lay the foundations of the world; and by thy providence doest guide, & protect the things therein conteined; be pleased to looke upon the sorrowes, and sufferances of thy distressed servant. Thou knowest my wants before I aske, and seest how low I am brought with hunger. The inferiour creatures thou fillest with plenty; but mee thou sufferest to pine with famine. Shall not the cryes of the hungrie pierce thine eares? Shall the soule of the emptie be despised by it's maker? Heare, Lord, Ps: 30.10.and have mercy: ô be thou my helper. Thou knowest how I groane under the burden of this affliction: and wilt thou allways know it, and never remove it? where are thy mercies which thou shewedst to thine Israelites? Where is they goodnesse which was manifested to he widdow of Sarepta? Thou canst not decrease in thy mercies, nor forget thy compassion. The stomack crye's, and the belly cryes, and a poore languishing soule cryes unto thee, ô Lord, in the depth of distresse. O my father, shut not up thy mercifull eares to my prayers; but heare mee in heaven, and succour mee with thy reliefe. [Page 232] Thy store will not be lessened, nor thy treasure diminished, by sparing to mee a morsell of bread. Lord, if it may stand with thy good will, preserve mee from death and deliver mee from this famine: or else arme mee with patience, that I may under-goe thy chastisement with comfort, and content. O thou Saviour of the world, to whom the cursed Iewes gave gall to eate, Ps. 69.21.and when thou wert thirstie, even vineger to drinke; doe thou ease my griefe, and hearken to my complaint. Thou in thy humanitie diddest seele the wants of these out-ward things; and knowest what griefe, and anguish I suffer. To Samaria thou sentest plenty beyond expectation, 2. King 7.18. in the space of a night. Thou art neither confined to time, nor tyed to the meanes: thou canst send mee comfort, even above my hopes. Lord, either send mee plenty, or blesse my want; that so I may willingly submitt to thy pleasure, and patiently suffer what thou hast decreed. Though my body languish for want of sustenance, yet fill thou my soule with the riches of thy goodnesse. Amos. 8.11. 2. Chr. 15.3. O let mee never be cursed with a famine of thy word: Let mee never be as once the Israëlites were, without thee the true God, & without a teaching Priest, and without law. Howsoëver thou disposest of the outward man, let not my soule want it's spirituall nourishment, whereby it should be fed to a life [Page 233] immortall. It was thy meate, ô Christ, Io: 4.34. to doe the will of him that sent thee, and to finish his worke. Graunt, ô Iesus, that I may follow thy stepps; and make it my foode, and my delight, to fullfill thy commandements. Let mee not labour here for the meate that perisheth, c. 6.27 so much as for that meate which endureth to everlasting life: My body is thine; dispose of it as thou pleasest. My soule is thine; preserve it in holinesse. Lord be gratious to mee thy child, Gen. 43 29. and comfort mee now in this greate extreamitie, that so I may neither offend thee in my sufferance, nor despaire of thy providence: but that wholly relying upon thy gratious goodnesse, I may suffer with thankfullnesse whatsoëver thou pleasest; and then that my sufferances may end in happinesse. Heare mee, blessed God, and help mee, for the worthinesse of thy Sonne; in whose name, & words I farther call upon thee, saying
THE THIRD SOLILOQUIE. Treating of thirst, both bodily, and ghostly.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation.
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
THe Prophet bewayling the distressed estate of afflicted Sion, complainth thus: Lam. 4.4. The tongue of the sucking child cleaveth to the roofe of his mouth, for thirst: the young children aske bread, and noe man breaketh it unto them. They that did feede delicately are desolate in the streetes: vers. 5.they that were brought up in scarlet, embrace the dunghills. Grievous was that miserie the infants endured, who neither knew how to complaine, nor where to be satisfied. Their tongues, which in time might relate the storie, were scorched with the drought, [Page 235] and heate of thrist. Those litle members, which as yet were not un ruely, found a punishment as if they had offended. The mothers lamenting the torments of the young ones, offered them drinke from the fountaines of their eyes: but so un-able was that offering to please the innocents, that their thirst increased by that which should quench it. Surely the miserie was greate which the babes could not utter; since mine is so severe, that I thinke it ineffable. The more I complaine, the more thirstie I am; for the motion of the tongue increaseth the drought. Iam. 3.6. The tongne that is un-ruely, is set on fire of hell: but mine is silent, and yet it scorcheth. That litle moisture which is left in my mouth is growne so glutenous, that it bindeth my tongue to an un-willing silence. My body burneth; Ps: 69.3 Ps. 137 6. my throate is dryed; my tongue cleaveth to the roofe of my mouth: ô I burne, I frie, and know not where to be releived. Did the drunkards, who are mighty to powre in wine, Is: 5.22and those who are men of strength to mingle strong drinke, but know the miserie which I endure, they would spare from their excesse as much as would comfort mee. For their owne sakes they would spare the abuse of that creature for want whereof I now complaine. Hab: 2.15. The Prophet pronounceth a woe unto him that giveth his neighbour drinke; that putteth his bottell to him, & maketh him drunken allso, that hee may looke [Page 236] on his nakednesse. But I doe cry woe unto my selfe, because I have noe neighbour to give mee drinke. Here is none that putteth his bottell to my mouth. It is not the gust of the wine, nor the strength of the drinke, nor the pleasantnesse of the liquour, that I doe covet. The limpid water would be better then wine: yea the springs, or the fountaines would make mee rejoyce. But where, ô where are those pleasant potions? Where are those snakie rivers, which curle, and wind themselves in their sporting wreaths? Alasse, alasse, I aske noe more then what beggars disdaine; and yet my desires are not fullfilled. Mine eyes doe lament the greatnesse of my sinnes; and my charitable teares doe wooe mee to give them rest in my mouth; as if repentance in this had taught them mercy. But when I thankfully accept their friendly courtesie, insteed of comforters they become my tormentours. These brackish rivelets may refresh my soule; but they can never cure the thirst of my body. Mee think's they are some-what like the wife of Heber, who entertained Sisera in a friendly manner, as hee did imagine: for shee covered him in her tent; Iud 4.18. vers. 19 and when hee said unto her, Give mee, I pray thee, a litle water to drinke, for I am thirstie, Shee opened a bottell of milke, and gave him drinke, and covered him. But when hee committed his wearied limbes to a sweete repose, vers. 21 shee tooke a naile of the tent, [Page 237] and tooke a hammer in her hand, and went softly to him, and smote the naile into his temples, & fastened it into the ground, and hee dyed. Thus my teares doe offer mee reliefe; and, like unto Iaël, they offer mee milke instead of water: but with their saltnesse they increase my drought; and fasten mee to the ground in my burning flames. Yet, Ps. 42.5 why art thou so cast downe, ô my soule; and why art thou so disquieted within mee? Hope thou in thy God;vers. 7.for I will yet praise him, who shall be the helpe of my countenance, and my God. Ps. 43.5All his waves, and stormes doe goe over mee; and yet I cry for water, in the middest of the waves. I cry, and by my cryes I increase my miserie: & yet cry I must; I am enforced to it by my fires, by my drought: and yet hope I will too; even in my God will I hope; for I am invited unto it by his mercy. Hee promised to his servants, by the mouth of his Prophet, saying, Is. 41.17. When the poore and needie sieke water, and there is none; & their tongue faileth for thirst; I the Lord will heare them: I the God of Israël will not forsake them. I will open rivers in high places; and fountaines in the middest of the valleys: vers. 18I will make the wildernesse a poole of water, & the drie land springs of waters. Now, ô my God, is the time that I looke for the fullfilling of this promise: for, water I sieke, but none I find. I am poore, & needie: my very [Page 238] tongue faileth for thirst; and upon thee therfore doe I call. I am sure that my God cannot promise more then hee can, nor will hee promise more then hee will, performe. Time was when the Israëlites pitching in Rephidim, Ex: 17.1. vers: 2.there was noe water for the people to drinke: Wherfore the people did chide with Moses, and said, Give us water, that wee may drinke; And Moses said unto them, Why chide yee with mee? Wherfore doe yee tempt the Lord? vers: 3.And the people thirsted there for water, and the people murmured against Moses, and said, Wherfore is this, that thou hast brought us up out of Egypt, to kill us, and our children,vers: 5.and our cattell with thirst? And the Lord said unto Moses, Goe on before the people, and take with thee of the Elders of Israël; and thy rod, wherwith thou smotest the river, take in thine hand, and goe. Behould I will stand before thee, there, upon the rock in Horeb;vers: 6.and thou shalt smite the rock, and there shall come water out of it, that the people may drinke: And Moses did so, in the sight of the children of Israël. Thus I thirst, as did the Israëlites; but I will not murmure, as did the Israëlites; because the God of Israël is my God. I may not displease him, with repining at my sufferings; lest with his rod hee smite mee, as did Moses the stone. All that I [Page 239] can hope for must come by my prayers, and my patience through the merits, of my saviour. It is not Meribah, or Massah; my temptation, vers: 7. or my chiding, that will prevaile for my comfort. Hee may give mee water, and then punish mee with fire. O what doe those damned soules in the infernall flames suffer, Lu: 16.24. where Dives begged of Abraham to have mercy on him, and to send Lazarus that hee might dippe, though but, the tippe of his finger in water, and coole his tongue; because hee was tormented in the flames! If I compare my sufferings with my desert, I shall the easier endure this gentle fire. This cannot be comparable to the fire of hell: and that I have deserved, yet suffer but this. ‘The mercifull Lord so sanctify this sufferance, that the fire which I merit may be extinguished by my teares,’ assisted with the blood of the Lamb un-spotted: and then I shall rejoyce in this chastisement. At Kadesh once, in the wildernesse of Zin, there was noe water for the congregation: Num: 20.2. vers: 7. vers: 8.and they gathered themselves together against Moses, and against Aaron. And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying, Take the rod, and gather thou the assembly together, thou, and Aaron thy brother; and speake yee unto the rock before their eyes: and it shall give forth it's water; and thou shalt bring forth water to them, out of the rock: so thou shalt give the congregation, and their beastes [Page 240] drinke.vers 9. vers. 10And Moses tooke the rod from before the Lord, as hee commanded him: And Moses and Aaron gathered the congregation together before the rock, and hee said unto them, Heare now yee rebells: must wee fetch you water out of the rock? vers. 11And Moses lifted up his hand, and with his rod hee smote the rock twice; and the water came out aboundantly; and the congregation dranke, and their beastes allso. Well might this rod flouri [...]h with blossomes, c: 17.8. which had power to command water out of the rocks. Thus was Israël watered by miracle; and the thirst of the people was slacked by the waters which issued even from the stones. But Moses is dead; and the rod is not heard of; & the rock I find not: Ps. 18.2 Ps. 23.2 yet will I not despaire. The Lord shall be my rock; and hee shall leade mee to waters of comfort. When Samson had slaine a thousand Philistines with the jaw-bone of an asse, Iud. 15.18. hee was sore a thirst; and called on the Lord, and said, Thou hast given this greate deliverance into the hand of thy servant; and now shall I dye for thirst, and fall into the hand of the uncircumcised?vers. 19But God clave an hollow place that was in the jaw, and there came water thereout; and when hee had drunke, his spirit came againe, Mat. 19 26.and hee revived. Thus with God are all things possible. Since then I know it exceedeth not his power to helpe mee in this miserie, I will certainly relie upon the hope of his goodnesse. When Mesha rebelled, [Page 241] Iehoram, with Iehoshaphat, and the King of Edom fetched a compasse of seaven dayes journie; and there was noe water for the hoast, 2. King 3.9. vers. 15and for the cattell that followed them. Then Elisha said, Bring mee a minstrell. And it came to passe, when the minstrell played, that the hand of the Lord came upon him: And hee said, vers: 16Thus saith the Lord, Make this valley full of ditches; for thus saith the Lord, vers: 17Yee shall not see wind, neither shall yee see raine; yet that valley shall be filled with water, that yee may drinke, both yee, and your cattell, and your beastes. vers: 18And this is but a litle thing in the sight of the Lord: hee will deliver the Moabites allso into your hand. vers: 20And it came to passe in the morning, when the meate-offering was offered, that behold there came water by the way of Edom and the countrie was filled with water. ‘Lord I am one of the valleys; I am the lowest, the meanest, the worst of thy people: ô send thy waters into the lowest valley, that I may rejoyce in thy mercy, and praise thee for thy liberality.’
But while I complaine of the drought of my body, mee think's I forget that spirituall thirst which should make mee blessed. Those my Redeemer pronunceth blessed, Mat: 5.6.who doe hunger, and thirst after righteousnesse; for they shall be filled. If I have not a thirst more spirituall then corporall, I may justly suspect my selfe to be of the number of those Wicked [Page 242] ones, of whom the Prophet speaketh, saying, Thus saith the Lord God, Is: 65.13.Behold my servants shall eate, but yee shall be hungrie: behold my servants shall drinke, but yee shall be thirstie: behold my servants shall rejoyce, but yee shall be ashamed. My Saviour tould the woman of Samaria at Iacobs well, Io: 4.13 vers: 14 saying, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst againe: But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him, shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water, springing up into everlasting life. Here is noe Iacobs well to coole my tongue; Ps: 36.9 but the well of life is present, and open. True it is that this well is deepe, and I have nothing to draw: I have noe goodnesse to merit it; and scarce have I a heart to desire it: yet Lord, such as I am, I come unto thee. My selfe I renounce; & I fly to the worthinesse of Christ my Redeemer. For his sake, ô my God, give mee that water, that I thirst not againe. For that water doe I long, more thē for the rivers of waters which incompasse the earth. 2. King. 5.12. Neither Abanah, nor Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus; noe nor Iordane it selfe is comparable unto this. Thou, ô Christ, art this well; Io: 6.35thou art this water. Thou hast promised that hee which cometh to thee, shall never hunger; & hee which believeth in thee, shall never thirst. For thee, Ps: 42.1 ô Saviour, I thirst: for thy salvation I cry, and intreate. As the Hart panteth for the water brookes; so panteth my soule after thee, ô God. vers: 2.My soule thirsteth for God; for the living [Page 243] God: When shall I come, & appeare before God? O God my soule thirsteth for thee;Ps: 63.1my flesh longeth for thee, in a drie, and thirstie land, where noe water is. Noe more will I mind this body of earth; or howsoëver, not so wholly bend my thoughts upon the quenching the thirst of this parched clay. This will I referre to the disposall of my God; & pray for comfort; but onely conditionally. If hee shall account it fitt for mee to die by this present thirst; & that my moisture shall be turned into the drought of summer; Ps: 32.4 I shall willingly submitt. Howsoëver since his will is yet kept secret from mee, I will pray for that which may yeeld mee comfort; but onely conditionally, if it may stand with his liking. But as touching my poore, dry, thirstie soule, I will pray directly, peremptorily, and absolutely; besieching him to refresh it with the deaw of his grace. Hee promised by his Prophet, Is: 35.7 that The parched ground should become a poole, & the thirstie land springs of waters. I am that parched ground; my languishing soule is that thirstie land: Lord send mee that poole; and those springs of waters. By the same Prophet againe hee promised to his Church, and said, I will powre water upon him that is thirstie; and floods upon the drie ground: c: 44.3.I will powre my spirit upon thy seede, and my blessing upon thy off-spring. This is his promise indeede: but may I be so bould as to put him in mind of it. Yes, yes; doe so, ô my soule. Hee loveth it: hee delighteth in it. Bashfullnesse in these [Page 244] cases, is but dull stupiditie; seeing thou hast authoritie to speake with confidence. Wee must come boldly unto the throne of grace, Heb: 4.16.that wee may obtaine mercy, and find grace to help in time of neede. I will not leave him therfore; I will not forsake him: I will hang upon him; I will follow him; for those onely speede who are earnest in their suites. Hee keepeth us off, onely to heighten our desires, not to deny our requests. Hee seemeth to be angry when wee beginne to petition; but wee misse-take the cause. Hee's displeased because wee came noe sooner; or because wee come on noe faster. Whatsoever hee hath promised, hee will undoubtedly make good, if wee are not wearie, and slack in solliciting. It is his delight to see us earnest: and our reward shall be greater, if wee continue in our industrie. This is my way; and thus I will follow him. Hee who sate upon the throne, Reu: 21 6. and said, It is done: I am Alpha, and Omega, the beginning and the end: even the same Lord said, I will give unto him that is a thirst, of the fountaine of the water of life freely. Hee inviteth mee by his Prophet, and speaketh to mee among the rest, when hee saith, Is: 55.1. Ho every one that thirsteth, come yee to the waters; and hee that hath noe money: come and buy, and eate; yea come and buy wine, and milke without money, Reu: 22 17.& without price. The Spirit and the Bride (saith Saint Iohn) say Come; [Page 245] and let him that heareth, say Come; and let him that is a thirst Come: and whosoever will, let him take of the water of life freely. I am thirstie; hee hath promised therfore to mee the fountaines of the water of life. I am thirstie, and yet I am poore, and have not wherewith to buy what I neede. My deedes are wicked, and of noe validitie: my words are idle, and deserve noe good: my thoughts are sinfull, & cannot merit. What then? Shall I starve for want, because I have not price to give? Noe, noe; mee it is hee calleth unto, that I may buy without money: mee hee meaneth to make partaker of his promise. I will buy what I want; but I can give nothing but teares: or at most (which indeede is the best, even) the blood of him who was slaine for my peace. But why doe I call that blood mine owne? May I safely doe it? Yes; it was his; but it is mine. Because hee needed not that price as a ransome for himselfe; hee gave it to mee, and all the faithfull to purchase our redemption. This, ô father, I offer unto thee: upon my knees I tender it, with a lowly heart, and a bleeding soule, and a submissive speech, praying unto thee, and saying.
The Prayer.
GRacious father, Ps: 123.1. Mat: 5.45. thou that dwellest in the heavens, and from heaven doest send the [Page 246] raine both on the just, and the unjust; take pitty, and compassion on the meanest of thy servants, who cryeth unto thee out of the depth of miserie. O my God thou seest how I am dryed up with thirst; and am wearie of my life, for want of thy comforts. I know that thou hast power to breake a clowd; and canst command it to water my parched body. Thou canst give mee drinke out of the windowes of heaven: Gen: 7.11. or canst cause the earth to answer my desires. Ps: 6:1. Lord rebuke mee not in thine anger; neither chasten mee in thy heavy displeasure. I must confesse that I have worthily deserved thy severest punishments; and most justly therfore doe I feele the heate of thine anger in my burning thirst. Ps: 79.5 But, Lord, shall thy displeasure burne like fire for ever? Shall it never be allayed with the shewers of my teares; or with that which infinitely exceede's them, both in vallew, and power; even the dropps of blood which fell from my Redeemer? O thou who with a stroake of a rod diddest make the relenting rocks to relieve the thirstie; doe thou be pleased to pittie the complaint of a fainting sinner. Coole my body which burneth with heate, and refresh mee now in this extreamest anguish, if it may stand with thy gracious will, and pleasure. If thou seest it fitting that my life should be prolonged, afford mee the meanes for the preservation thereof. On thee alone doe I depend; and [Page 247] to thee alone doe I addresse my supplication. To thee I referre the disposing of this parched, and dryed earth; humbly besieching thee to bend my will to submit unto thine. O let mee never utter any words of despaire, or discontent; but in all my groanes let mee acknowledg thy justice. Holy Father be pleased to fixe my thoughts upon my inward man; that my care may be greater for the spirit, them the flesh. I want that spirituall desire which thou requirest: I thirst for that thirst. My soule is drie, for want of thy grace; and so seered is my conscience, that I know not my miseries. Lord open mine eyes, that I may see my wants; that so my thirst may be turned into a thirst for thy mercy. Thou, ô God, art rich, but I am poore: thou art filled with blessings, but I am not yet so much as sensible of my want of them. O give mee both a sight of my povertie, and a desire of thy grace; and then graunt unto thy servant according to my desires. I thirst, Lord; I thirst after thee the well-spring yea the ocean of mercy. O send mee but a drop of thy heavenly ocean, that it may increase in mee a desire of enjoying thy selfe. Ps: 36.8 Give mee to drinke of thy pleasures as of a river; that so I may referre my body to thy holy will; & willingly yeeld this dust to thy disposall. Gen: 3.19. This dust shall returne to the dust whence it came; but ô let my soule be vallewed so [Page 248] deare in thy sight, that it may here have a tast of thy bottomelesse bountie; & hereafter be admitted to the paradise of thee my God. Reu: 2.7. Heare mee, ô father, and graunt my requests, Zech: 13.1. for the worthinesse of him who opened unto mee a fountaine for sin, even Iesus Christ my onely Lord, and Saviour, Amen.
soliloquy 4 THE FOURTH SOLILOQUIE. Treating of Nakednesse both of the out-ward, and in-ward man.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation:
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
WHen Noah was over-come with the wine which hee had dranke, sleeping hee lay un-covered in his tent. Gen: 9.21. vers: 22 Accursed Ham saw the nakednesse of his father, and tould his brethren: but Shem, and Iaphet tooke a garment,vers: 23and laid it on both their shoulders, and went back-ward, and covered the nakednesse of their father: and their faces were back-ward, and they saw not their father's nakednesse. All these were the sonnes of one, and the selfe-same father; but they differed in conditions, as if they had not beene hrothers. One was so unnaturall, that hee seemed to boast in the folly of his parent: and when wine had disturbed the braine of [Page 250] his father, and the heate of the drinke had layed him naked; the wicked sonne (as rejoycing at his weakenesse) tould his brethren the effect of the drunkennesse. But the other two (blushing at the effect, as well as the cause) modestly hid, what ought to be concealed. Such a Ham have I: it is my poverty: Onely, in this it differeth from the sonne of Naoh, that it first inebriateth mee, and then uncovereth mee. I am so intoxicated with want, that it bereave's mee of my senses; and, being thus poore, it leave's mee naked. O where shall I find a Shem, or a Iaphet, to cover my nakednesse? I am cloathed indeede; Zech: 3 3. but it is with ragges, and filthy garments, as bad or worse then was Ioshua, when once hee stood before the Angel. Such an Angel I want, vers: 4. as was hee who spake unto them that were before him, and said, Take away the filthy garments from him. The cause of my shame is sinne: the cause of my poverty is mine iniquity. O that the Angell of the covenant would say unto mee, Behold I have caused thine iniquity to passe from thee; and I will cloath thee with change of raiment! Mee think's I looke like the counterfeiting Gibeonites, when by craft they obtained a league with Ioshua: Ios: 9.4 for they tooke old sacks upon their asses; and wine bottells old, and rent; and bound up: vers: 5.And old shooes, and clowted upon their feete; and old garments upon them; and all the [Page 251] bread of their provision was drie, and mouldie. Ierusalem's curse is fallen upon mee: as God threatned her, so am I punished. Eze: 16 39. I will give thee (saith the Lord) into thine enemies hand and they shall throw downe thine eminent place and shall breake downe thine high places: they shall strippe thee allso of thy cloathes, and shall take thy faire jewells, and leave thee naked, and bare. It is thus with mee too. Poverty is mine enemie, into whose hands I am fallen: It hath throwne downe mine eminent place; it hath dejected my countenance: My high places it hath broken downe; my loftie thoughts, and prowd imaginations: It hath allso stripped mee of my clothes, and tooke away my faire jewells; and thus hath it left mee naked, and bare. The curse which David wished to his enemies, hath seized on mee; Ps: 109 29. for I am cloathed with shame; and covered with confusion, as with a mantle. And yet, if I truely consider the state I am in, I cannot deny but my sufferance is just: for apt I have beene to wish evill to others, and the same is fallen now upon my selfe. In my passion I have beene ready to cloath my selfe with cursing, vers: 18like as with a garment; and it is now come into my bowells like water, and like oyle into my bones. O that I could bemoane my selfe of my former prosperitie, as Iob did him selfe; and that I could as truely say of my selfe, that I put on righteousnesse, and it cloathed mee: Iob. 29.14.[Page 252] my judgment was a robe, and a diadem. But, for want of that robe of righteousnesse, I am cloathed now with the ragges of poverty; in so much that I am allmost as much ashamed of the cover of my nakednesse, as I am to appeare naked without a covering. Where, ô where, is that courteous Saul, 2. Sam: 1.24. at whose death King David lamenting, sang this Elegie, Yee daughters of Israël weepe over Saul, who cloathed you in scarlet, with other delights; who put on ornaments of gold upon your appearell? Alasse, here is neither scarlet, nor ornaments; noe nor a Saul to bestow them on mee. Mat: 11 8. Luc: 16 19.They that weare soft cloathing are in Kings houses. It is for such as Dives was, to be cloathed in purple, and fine linnen: I can expect noe such costly coverings. But is not my heart desirous of the gayest robes? Is not my mind imployed in wishes for such vanities? Let mee not deceave my selfe. When I see another sumptously arayed, doe's not the sight thereof incline mee to pride? Could I not dispence with the vanity of silkes, and colours, and fashions, if I had but meanes to purchase, or procure them? Doe not I honour the person for the borrowed habit; and vallew more the richnesse of the cloathes, then the vertue of the person? I feare that my heart is not truely humbled: for if I long for that which now I am denyed; if my mind submitt not to the weakenesse of my fortunes, it is much to be [Page 253] feared I am poore in habit, but not in spirit. But whence proceede my murmurings, and discontents? Why am I so desirous of sumptuous apparell? Doe colours adde any thing at all to the heate? Or doe onely silkes, and costly stuffs preserve the body from the view of spectatours? Certainly the coursest wooll which groweth on the sheepe, hath power enough both to cover, and to warme. From whence then proceedeth the ground of my discontent? Is it not from pride; yea such pride as standeth not either with religion, or reason? Religion forbiddeth it; Iam: 4.6. for God resisteth the proude, but giveth grace to the humble. Reason contradicteth it: for why should wee strive for a pompous covering, and to outvye each other in the glory of our garments, when as all of us have beene equally naked at our births; and shall equally returne to the earth our mother? Those silkes which so highly are vallewed in our esteeme, are but the intrails of a very worme, which seemeth to lye as an agent for the tempter. Shee seeing how vainely wee magnifie her esteeme, preserveth her vallew by losse of her bowells: and all to maintaine the pride of fooles. But why should it reteine such respect among us; as if the carkenet were much more worth then the jewell; or the labour of a worme were of more account then the skinne of a Christian? If wee prize the colour that's sett on the silkes, [Page 254] wee doate upon that which is fondly made, and quickly decayed. Some borrow of the tree the berrie that dye's; and some of the fields the her [...]s that colour's; and some of the earth, that which fitt's for a tincture: and yet, when the choycest colours are sett on our silkes, wee cannot deny them all to be staines. Mee think's the very flowers chide our madnesse for our esteeme of colours. The Lillie is afraid lest wee should adore its whitenesse; and the feare thereof enforceth a palenesse. The Tulip blusheth at the simplnesse of our opinions: and to teach us our vanity, it withereth in a day. Our coverings are onely remembrancers of our fall: & yet to increase the number of our sinnes, wee have added pride to the necessitie of apparell. Wee magnifie our selves in these emblemes of our disobedience; and render them such honour, as if wee rejoyced at our miserie. Nothing upon earth offended the Creatour, but onely our parents: and nothing therfore, save onely their off-spring, doth borrow a covering. It is true indeede that the wretchednesse of our condition was the parent of a vertue: for modestie had noe name in the time of innocency. This vertue is since become a duety: but wee out-doe our commands in the excesse of our apparell. But what can wee weare, which properly, and truely may be termed ours? Or how long can that continue, which [Page 255] wee borrow of the creatures? The Parrat, the Finch, and the bird of Paradise; all these outshine us in the varietie of colours; and in their naturall glory teach us the vanitie of our imitating art. Those colours which wee have, are not properly ours; nor can their beauty long continue; for they dye at that instant when they first beginne. Why then doe I vexe and repine at my want of that which is so vaine? In all these brave and borrowed habits, what can I discover, but sinne in the necessitie, and pride in the superfluitie? What an idoll doe people make of this wandering earth; imploying their time in tricking up but a dung-hill! The Spanish woolls, and the softer siskes have not Rhetotick enough to silence death; nor can they barre the worme from preying on the carkeise. I will therfore resolve to content my selfe with the meanenesse of my condition: and to desire noe other covering, or apparell, then what may preserve mee from cold, and nakednesse. Necessitie, and modestie pleade for these: and my Saviour reckoneth it among the acts of charitie, to cloath the naked. Matt: 25.36. When Iudah was taken captive by Israel, and thousands of them slaine, their cruëlty was so greate, that the Prophet checked them for their violence to their brethren, saying, 2. Chr: 28.10. Are there not with you, even with you, sinnes against the Lord? Now heare mee therfore, vers: 1.1.and deliver [Page 256] the captives againe, which yee have taken captive of your brethren; for the fierce wrath of God is upon you.vers: 15And the men which were expressed by name, rose up, and tooke the captives, and with the spoyle cloathed all that were naked among them, and arayed them, & shod them, &c. It appeareth then that God doeth not like the nakednesse of a sinner, Gen: 3.21. who first did cloath the sinners with skinnes. I may therfore lawfully besiech him to send mee what necessitie, and modestie shall require mee to weare: more I dare not importune him for.
But whence ariseth this my indigency? Is not my new punishment sent unto mee for some ould sinne? In my prosperitie peradventure I was guilly of pride; and therfore am humbled: Heb. 12 10. but I am chastised for my greater profit. If my God will be pleased to humble my heart; then my outward condition and that will be suitable. If hee vouchsafe mee a serious sight of my pride, noe earthly punishment shall I thinke too much for so high an offence. If by this my want, hee bring to my remembrance how I sought the creature more then the Creatour, I shall thankfully acknowledg that I deserve this affliction. O my God doe thou send mee the light of thy countenance, Ps: 4.6. and I shall contemne the obloquie, and scorne of the world.
All these discontents arise from the want of ornaments for the body; but what care [Page 257] doe I take for my naked soule? There is another garment more earnestly to be sought for, besides that which should cover this outward skinne. This in modestie I desire to hide; but alas I care not how naked my soule appeares. That is layed open to stormes, and tempests: it is ever exposed to heates, and colds: it is viewed by a spectatour, whose purest eyes abhorre the filth, and pollution of sinne. The stormes of temptations howerly beate upon it; yet I take noe care to cloath it for defence. The heates of passions, and the cold of despaire doe dayly assaile it; yet I neither hide it from the heate, nor cloth it for warmth. It is foule, and deformed; yet I neither cleanse, nor adorne it, that it might please the spectatour. All my care, and complaint is for the body: but I never mind, nor provide for the spirit. Alasse, this body is of short continuance, upon which I fasten my cares, and disturbances. It shall shortly moulder in the grave, where it shall speedily be converted againe into dust; yea and the richest robes shall there be soone turned into ragges; and the vallew, and account of them both shall be equall. But my soule shall not sleepe in the dust with my body; but appeare at the tribunall of the judg of the world. O what shall I doe when I stand before him? If mine impenitency and infidellitie, doe present mee naked before him, hee will turne [Page 258] mee aside in greate disdaine. Those that are naked shall be judged, and condemned: but those which are cloathed shall be crowned with blisse. Why then have I so long neglected the trimming of my wretched soule? 'T is that wich shall goe to torments, or happinesse, so soone as ever it leaveth this tabernacle of flesh. I was sent into the world to make warre upon the tempter. When I shall be called to account how I fought the battell, if I pleade that my garments pinioned mine armes, and manacled my hands; my very excuse will adde to my punishment. I was not sent to doate upon the creature, but to glorifie my Creatour. If I prowdly boast of my out-ward ornaments, that which covereth the body layeth naked the soule. O my poore soule, how art thou covered? How art thou adorned? I have so long forgotten thee, that thou art quite out of fashion. I suffered thee to wander so long without robes, that now I feare I shall have none to fitt ther. There is nothing, I know, can truely cover her, but onely the merits, and righteousnesse of Christ. Where, ô where shall I find this covering? Of whom shall I begge this desired garment? There's none that can give it, but hee that owne's it. To thee therfore, ô Christ, must I addresse my selfe: to thee will I cry: on thee will I call: of thee will I begge for Gods sake, (that so hee my be honoured) [Page 259] for pittie's sake (that so I may not be damned) for charitie's sake (that so I may not be rejected) yea for thine owne sake, ô Iesus, (who here requirest the cloathing of thy naked members) doe thou cover mee, doe thou hide mee, doe thou adorne mee with the robes of thy righteousnesse. Why should I be cast out from the mariage of the Lamb, for want of a garment, since thou canst spare one? Why should I forbeare petitioning my Iesus to furnish mee; to supply my wants; since hee hath promised helpe to them that aske? Mat: 7.7. I must have it, or I dye; and therefore have it I will, or else I'll fight for it. Yea and fight I must; and conquer I must; and then I know what shall be my reward. My God hath promised that hee which over-cometh, Reu: 3.5.the same shall be cloathed in white raiment, I shall be taken into the number, and fellowship of them which noe man could number, c: 7.9.of all nations, and kindreds, and people, and tongues; and with them shall I be cloathed with a long white robe, and a palme shall be in my hand. Wher-fore, that neither the want of necessaries for the out-ward man, may take off my courage; nor the want of grace may hinder the conquest; I will sue for both at the hands of my Creatour. I will worship, Ps: 95.6and fall downe, and kneele before the Lord my maker; and on my knees will I pray unto him, and say.
The prayer.
MErcifull Lord, Mat: 6.30. thou who cloathest the lillies of the field, which to day are, and to morrow are cast into the oven; extend thy mercy to thy distressed servant. O my God thou seest the nakednesse which I suffer, and thou feelest the cold which my body endures; for of thee, ô Christ, I am a part; of thy mysticall body I am a member. These meane and ragged coverings doe speake at once both my wants, and my desires. What shall I doe, ô father? Shall I noe longer believe thy providence? Or shall I despaire of thy power? O I dare not doe either; for I know that thou canst, and wilt relieve mee, when thou in thy wisedome shalt see it requisite. Blessed Lord, subdue my heart, as thou hast humbled my body; and forgive the sinnes of pride, and discontent which harbour therein. Many of thy Saints have wanted the things of the outward man; yet hast thou enriched their soules with the graces of thy Spirit. I know, Lord, that thou delightest not in the ornaments of the body. Thou canst give what thou wilt; and withhold what thou pleasest. Lu: 16.22. Distressed Lazarus, who for a while did lye at the gate of gorgeous Dives, was caried by Angells into Abraham's bosome. Enable mee with patience to suffer [Page 261] my wants; and willingly to submitt to thy heavenly pleasure. Ps: 104 1. O thou that art cloathed with Majestie, and honour, vouchsafe to cover my naked soule. Through the merits of thy Christ let it be presented to thee both cleane and unspotted. Make mee to labour the purifying thereof with a flood of my teares: Io. 11.33. and accept of my groanes through the righteousnesse of him who groaned in spirit when hee beheld the teares of lamenting Marie. Holy father adorne thou my inward man with righteousnesse, and holinesse; that it may be acceptable unto thee when it shall come to thy tribunall. Nothing can hide it from thy wrath, ô father, but the garment of the righteousnesse of Christ my brother. Wrappe mee, ô Iesus, in that sacred mantle, that I may be hid from the wrath of the reveng-full judg. Is: 50 3 O thou that cloathest the heavens with blacknesse, and makest sack-cloth their covering; doe thou apparell my soule with the blacknesse of sorrow, and the sackcloth of mourning for my crying offences! And so accept of my contrition, that I may hereafter appeare in a long white robe with thy holy Saints, Reu: 7.9. and be admitted a member of thy church tryumphant, there to reigne with thee world without end, through Iesus Christ my onely Lord, and Saviour. Amen.
subject 8 THE EIGHTH SUBJECT. A Virgin's teares.
The Soliloquie. Treating of the virginitie both of the body, and the soule.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, ô Lord; consider my meditation:
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
THe un-maried woman (saith the faithfull Apostle) careth for the things of the Lord, 1. Cor. 7.25. vers: 34that shee may be holy both in body, and spirit. Such a one am I: unmaried I am: but am I such a one allso in my care? Doe I care for the things of the Lord, that I may be holy both in body, and spirit? This is a question not easily resolved; it is a duety not, ordinarily performed. The externall forme doeth commonly borrow the howers of virgins: the [Page 263] dresses and the ornaments of the fading body imploy our minuits: and our care is generally more for the day of our mariage, then the time of our account. Seldome doe wee vallew religion above our dresses; or the service of God above the ornaments of our selves. But neither is the beauty of the countenance prevalent with the All-mighty; nor the neatenesse of attire vallewed in his eyes. Hee love's not that care which ariseth from pride; but that which discovereth a zeale for his honour. The most admired beauty shall be shriveled in the flames of eternall horrour, unlesse the soule be more comely by farre then the countenance. The exactest features of the outward man doe illest suite with a lascivious tongue, or an immodest thought. Devoutest virgins are allways fairest; and borrow so much of the flowers of the spring, as to weare a maidens blush in the seate of beauty. My God hath given mee the honour of virginitie; and expecteth to be honoured both in it, and by it. If my soule be as un-spotted as my body is un-defiled, I may hope for a seate with the tryumphant virgins. Reu: 14.1. With the Lamb (saith Saint Iohn) were a hundred fortie and foure thousand having his fathers name written in their fore-heads. vers: 4.These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins: these are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever hee goeth. That Lamb is Christ: those [Page 264] hundred fortie and foure thousand virgins are the elect: his name in their foreheads is their adoption by grace: they follow the Lamb in the puritie of their soules: and in their chast & spirituall virginitie they are preserved from the pollutions, and uncleanesse of the seducing tempter. With these virgins I desire to sing my part: for my sexe cannot hinder the hope of immortalitie. With those saints which defiled not themselves with women shall accord those women not defiled with men. It was an honour to our sexe, and my present condition, that my Saviour was borne of the virgin Mary. But I must know that virginitie consisteth not so much in the chastitie of the body, as the puritie of the soule. Even those that are maried may have virgin soules; and wee that are virgins may be spirituall adulteresses. 1. Thes. 4.4. Shee that preserve's her vessell in holinesse performeth a duety required by our maker: but unlesse to this be added the chastitie of the soule, both body and soule may suffer eternally. The purest virgin is the loyallest wife: for though wee never were engaged by mariage to a man; yet all of us ought to be maried to Christ, 2. Cor: 11.2. Saint Paul saith that hee had espoused the Corinthians to one husband, that hee might present them as a chast virgin unto Christ. This husband is mine; for to him am I espoused; to him am I wedded? But am I a loyall wife to this indulgent [Page 265] husband? Doe I love him? Doe I honour him? Doe I obey him? Have I beene allways true, and faithfull unto him? If every sinne be a spirituall adulterie, if every transgression be a dishonour unto him; ô then my conscience will write mee guilty. O my sweete husband, ô my Iesus what shall I say, or pleade for my selfe? I have forsaken my redeemer to sinne with the tempter, I have declined my husband to committ un-cleanesse with that ugly serpent: for hee enticed, and I consented. Lev: 20.10. By the ould law an adulteresse was to suffer death. That law doeth still remaine in force; for death eternall is decreed as a punishment for those that dishonour my patient husband. O what then shall I doe when hee shall question my disloyaltie? Yet, can hee be so loving as to forbeare my punishment, and can hee not be so mercifull as freely to forgive it? O yes, hee can if hee please: but which way shall I endeavour thus to please him? O my Iesus vouchsafe to mee thy grace as thou did'st once to an adulteresse; and then, with her, I will weepe, and lament. Be reconciled unto mee as thou wast unto her; Lu: 7.38. and then will I wash thy feete with my teares; and will wipe them with the haires of my head. I will not spare the costliest spicknard, though it drop from the wounds of my sorrowfull heart. I will kisse thy feete, and anoint them with the ointment. O say of mee, as thou [Page 266] diddest of her, vers: 47Her sinnes, which are many, are forgiven; for shee loveth much. Her soule was polluted; so is mine: Her body was likewise uncleane; but so is not mine: yet even so had mine allso beene, had not hee preserved mee, who is the husband of my soule. Of my selfe I am fraile, and apt to be shaken by every temptation; to him alone therfore must I render the thanks, who hath kept mee from dis-honour; and to him must I pray for the continuance of his protection.
But is every sinne accounted adulterie? Is the breach of every command an act of disloyaltie? Then virginity it selfe seemeth to be adulterie: and the chastitie of the body to violate the bond of wed-lock with Christ: for Saint Pauls words are peremptorie, saying, I will that the younger women marry, 1. Tim. 5.14.beare children, and guide the house, &c. Never was I yet the mother of a child, nor the guide of a house, for never was I married, though the Apostle requireth it. Is it therfore an offence because I am not a wife: Thus indeede they are apt to pleade, who un-willingly submitt to my present condition. Saint Paul (if rightly understood) seemes but to allow it, rather then command it; for when hee decreeth mariage to be an ordinance of God, hee doth not thereby determine virginitie a crime. So farre is hee from that, 1. Cor: 7.28. that though hee saith, If a virgin marry, shee hath not sinned; [Page 267] yet hee concludeth saying, vers. 38 Hee that giveth her in marriage doth well; but hee that giveth her not in marriage, doth better. Heb. 13.4. It is true that mariage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but onely wee that are virgins, Mat. 22 30. who neither marry, nor are given in marriage, are as the Angells of God in heaven. Thus is our honour as greate as theirs in the bed un-defiled: yea and more honourable are wee in that our condition resembleth the Angells of God. So long as I remaine in this state of virginitie, Gen. 3.16. Eph. 5.22. neither are my desires subject to a husband; nor am I tyed to submission; nor yet are my sorrowes multiplyed, as are theirs who in conception are severely sensible of an hereditarie punishment. True it is that I am bound to obedience; yet not to a husband whose conditions I know not; but to my parents, Ex. 20.12. of whose love I am certaine. This is a knot which nothing but death can ever untye. Mariage is then but an honourable bondage accompanied with sorrowes, making us subject to him that's our head, yet not freeing us from obedience to those that are our parents. But Virginitie hath fewer sorrowes, and lesse subjection; yet lesse too are the comforts, and fewer the blessings. It is my duety therfore to submitt to the pleasure of my God; and strive to honour him, in what condition soëver I shall live. Should all decree to continue virgins, the number of saints should not be increased, nor the world [Page 268] remaine above the space of an age. Wherfore, I will not so love virginitie as contemning mariage; nor so honour mariage as undervallewing virginitie. In each condition those are most honourable, who most doe endeavour for the honour of God. In ancient times so greate was the submission of virgins to their parents, that even their vowes to God were subject to alteration at the discretion of the earthly father. So saith the law: If a woman vow a vow unto the Lord, Num. 30.3. vers. 4.and bind herselfe by a bond being in her father's house in her youth: And her father heare her vow, and her bond wherwith shee hath bound her soule, and her father hold his peace at her: then all her vowes shall stand; and every bond wherewith shee hath bound her soule shall stand. vers. 5.But if her father dis-allow her in the day that hee heareth; not any of her vowes, or of her bonds, wherewith shee hath bound her soule, shall stand: and the Lord shall forgive her because her father disallowed her. If a vow to God which was made by a virgin, did thus depend upon the pleasure of her father; assuredly then, the vow of mariage ought not to passe without the parents consent. If by their indiscretion our choyce be amisse, though the sufferance be ours, yet the blame is theirs: if it prove successefull, our joy shall be doubled by our willing obedience. In those weighty affaires concerning wedlock, there is greatest neede of a vigilant eye. It is [Page 269] but justice that the parent should leade her by advice, whose eye is darkned by the violence of affection. Shee that wed's not without counsell, lives not without comfort: for shee judgeth not by the event, but rejoyceth in her obedience. Thus if I doe obey the commands of my parents, I manifest my selfe to be a child of my God, If I willingly submitt to their discretion, I may undoubtedly hope for the blessing of my maker; yea, and peradventure it may succeed beyond expectation. God hath beene ever a father to those virgins, who have beene faithfully obedient to his commands. In mariage there is allways a hand of providence: happie are those that marrie in the Lord. Hee was a father to the virgin Rebeckah, Gen. 24 16. Est. 2.17. when hee gave her unto Isaak. Hee was a father to the virgin Esther, whom Ahasuerus the King so fervently loved, that hee not onely wedded her, but allso crown'e her, yet was shee alasse but a poore Iewesse, taken into the charitable care of her uncle Mordecai, vers. 7.after her father's and mothers decease. Thus doeth the Allmighty provide for those who submitt to his pleasure: and labour to espouse a virgin soule to Christ the bride-groome. ‘O my God doe thou be for ever my father, and thy sonne my loving and affectionate husband, that my soule may be adorned with the graces of thy spirit, and be allways acceptable to my deerest Lord.’ [Page 270] Can a maide forgett her ornaments; Ier. 2.32. (saith God by his Prophet) or a bride her attire? Yet my people have forgotten mee, dayes without number. My soule was a virgin; but shee forgot her ornaments: shee was a bride, espoused to Christ; but shee forgott her attire; shee hath forgotten her husband dayes without number. The King's daughter, Ps. 45.13. vers. 14 which is all glorious with in, hath virgins for her companians when shee is brought unto the King. Such a virgin should my soule have beene; but alasse shee dare's not appeare in the sight of the King, because shee hath left off the ornaments of her virginitie.Ier. 13.23.Can the Ethiopian change his skinne; or the Leopard his spotts? Can my soule which is deflowred with the filthinesse of sinne, ever hope to be reckoned among the number of virgins? Can shee which hath assumed the impudencie of an harlot, ever expect to be accounted modest? Can shee which is deformed with the staines of iniquitie, ever hope to be deemed faire, and beautifull? Alasse, what shall I doe? Unlesse my husband be reconciled unto mee, it is impossible I should escape the torments of hell? Some that have offended, have found him gratious: why may not I hope for a tast of his mercy? Could I but appeare in his sight with beauty, and comelinesse, hee would presently renew his love, and affection. O but my soule is full of deformitie, and for want of care shee is loathsome and uglie. [Page 271] But is there noe recoverie of a decayed forme? Is there noe way to restore a declined beauty? Though shee be not beautifull, yet let her be comely; for thus shee may bee, allthough shee is black. To worke then will I goe; Cant: 1.5. Is: 1.6. and wholly will I labour to make her amiable in the sight of her Lord. Alasse this state and condition which shee is in, is full of horrour, and disconsolate torments. From the sole of the foote, even unto the head, there is noe foundnesse in her; but wounds, and bruises, and putrifying sores; they have not beene closed neither bound up, neither mollified with oyntment. Ps: 38.5. Thus doe her wounds stinke, and are corrupt, because of my foolishnesse. Thus through the stench of her wounds, and the loathsomenesse of her sores, and the deformitie of her scarrs, and the impudencie of her lookes, and the foulenesse of her face, I know not what to doe to restore her to his favour. Is: 1.16. But I will endeavour to wash her, to make her cleane, and to put away the evill of her doeings from before his eyes. With my teares I will wash her; with my teares I will cleanse her. For every spot of sin which hath defiled her, I will shed a whole fountaine, a river of teares. Yet sooner can I drowne my selfe in my teares, then they of them selves can recover her beauty. It must be thou, ô my Iesus, that must assist mee: it must be thy blood, ô my husband, wich must cleanse my pollutions. ‘Lord accept yet of my [Page 272] teares which are all that I can offer; and wash this thy sinfull spouse in the larer of thy blood.’ This must be the way to regaine his love, from whose affectionate bosome my soule is divorced. By this meanes onely shall shee once againe be receaved as a virgin, though shee hath played the harlot with many lovers. Ier: 3.1Thus therfore will I come, and humbly will I crave his pardon, and forgivenesse, I will besiech him to preserve my vessel in honour, and my soule in sinceritie. I will begge, I will intreate, I will pray; and begging, and intreating, and praying I will say.
The Prayer.
BLessed Lord, Sonne of a virgin, who didst honour virginitie when thou tookest our nature; hearken to the cryes of a lamenting maide. Mat: 8.8.Lord, I am not worthy to come unto thee; I am not worthy to receave any favour from thee; for I have forsaken thee my most indulgent husband, Ier: 3.1. and played the herlot with many lovers. My soule is too foule to be called thine: too often hath shee broken her vowes and promises, to hope for thy love, or thy gratious pardon. But Lord, what now shall I doe? If yet I should fall into a despaire of thy mercies, I should increase my disloyaltie; and either deny, or [Page 273] despise the power of thy passion. So greate was thy love to the Church thy Spouse, that thou gavest thy selfe to sanctifie and cleanse it with the washing of water, by the word. Eph: 5.25.26. My soule, ô Christ, is a member of thy Spouse: be pleased, ô Iesus, so to sanctifie and wash her, that thou mayest present her to thy felfe without spot, or wrinkle, both holy, and blamelesse. vers: 27 Zech: 13.1. O thou who hast opened a fountaine to the house of David, and to the inhabitants of Ierusalem, Ps: 51.2.for sinne, and for uncleanesse; doe thou wash mee throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse mee from my sinne. Lord as in mercy thou hast given mee chastitie of body; so give mee likewise the chastitie of mind, and the puritie of soule. Suffer not either the flesh, or the Devill by their wicked suggestions to seduce mee to uncleanesse. Though I am a weake, 1 Pet: 3.7. 2 Cor: 4.7. Act. 9.15. Rom: 9.23. 1 Thes: 4.4. vers. 5. though but an earthen vessell; yet be thou pleased to make mee a chosen vessell, a vessell of mercy. Cause mee to keepe the vessell of my body, and to possesse it in sanctification, and honour; and not in the lust of concupiscence, like the Gentiles, which know thee not. O be thou my father in the grace of adoption; be thou my brother in thy pitty, and compassion; be thou my husband in thy love, and affection; and be thou my Iesus in the salvation of my sick, and sinfull soule. Arme mee with constancy against all assaults of carnall imaginations. Give mee modestie in my countenance, [Page 274] decency in my apparell, civilitie in my behaviour, sobrietie in my discourse, and contentednesse in my condition. Make mee obedient to my parents, respective to my superiours, courteous to my inferiours, and loving unto all. Let not my adorning be outward, 1 Pet: 3.3. Iam: 3.17. Prov: 1.9.of putting on of apparell: but give mee that wisedome which is from above, to be as an ornament of grace unto my head; and as chaines about my neck. Preserve, ô Christ, both my body and soule in chastitie and honour while I am here upon earth, as becometh a virgin espoused to thy selfe: Eccl: 12.7. Reu: 14.3. and when my dust shall returne to the earth as it was, let my spirit returne unto thy selfe who gavest it: and to thee let it sing that new song with the quire of virgins, before thy throne for ever and ever. Amen.
subject 8 THE NINETH SUBJECT. Teares of a woman in the state of mariage.
The Soliloquie. Treating of the dueties of a wife to her husband.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation.
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
MAn was created in the image of God: Gen: 1:27. c: 2.18. vers: 21 vers: 22 yet because it was not good that hee should be alone, the Lord did make him an helpe that was meete for him. A deepe sleepe fell upon Adam: in which, of a rib that was taken from his side, was made a woman, the wife of his bosome. Thus was mariage instituted at first in paradise, and though, after the woman was framed [Page 276] by the Creatour, c: 2.31. it is not directly sayd shee was very good: yet seing it was verified of Adam, it was true of Eve; both of them yet remaining innocent. O blessed was that time when the husband and wife were so truely one, 2. King: 19.22. that they were free from offending the holy one. But they stood not long in this their integritie: for they conspiring together in the first offence, layed the foundation of discord, and division From hence doe flow the disturbances of mariage: c: 3.24. and since Adam and Eve were driven out of Paradise, neither is virginitie allways contented; neither is wedlock free from disquietnesse. Ps: 78.58. vers: 59 vers. 63 When the Lord. was moved to jealousie by the idolatrous Israelites, hee greately abhorred them, in so much as hee caused the fire to consume their young men; and their maidens were not given to mariage. Well might the Psalmist say hee was wrath when the maidens were deprived of their [...]uptiall honours. Yet had the virgins knowne the cares of wedlock, peradventure their curse might have beene deemed a blessing. Wee who are taken from the wings of our parents, fieke for our content in the bosomes of our husbands: yet (lest wee should idolatrously dote on them that are our heads) even thence many times doe flow our disturbances whence wee expect our happinesse. But why alasse doe arise those stormes of discontent? Mariage should unite the hearts, and [Page 277] affections; Eph: 5.31. and those who thereby are made one flesh, should likewise be one in the bond of love. Discords and divisions are the cankers of a mitie: Ionah: 4.7. and like unto the worme in the gourd of Ionas, bring confusion where they are nourished. Saint Iohn determine's that God is love: 1 Io: 4.8.wheresoëver therfore wee find not love, wee may justly conclude there is not God. Yet many times doe I heare the clamours of prople: for many men and their wives are more subject to complaine, then to conceale the frowardnesse of their violent passions. But am not I one of those whose indisposition to obedience, or want of discretion, sieketh to violate the lawes of mariage? All such divisions are both irreligious, and sieke to destroy the very rules of nature. By mariage two are united into one: but by discords one is divided into two. Where wedlock tyeth not two in one, there is noe obedience to him who is three in one. If therfore I enioy not that happie concord. I must search into the cause which produceth such discord. Assuredly that wedlock which at first was instituted by the All mighty, and seconded by the blessing of increase and multiplying, Gen [...] 1.28. cannot be accompanied with schismes, and contentions without a greate offence to him that ordained it. Chrest my Reedemer did honour it with his presence; and to shew how much hee delighted in this sacred union, hee began [Page 278] his miracles at a wedding in Galilee. Io: 2.1. vers: 7.8. But if mariage be so ancient, as to fetch its beginning from man in innocency; if it be so religious, as to be honoured thus by my Lord and Saviour, why then is it so peremptorily concluded by the Apostle, that It is good for a man not to touch a woman? 1 Cor: 7.1. Are women so odious in the eyes of Saint Paul, that hee should account it not good for a man to touch his helper, his rib, himselfe? What should the Apostle meane in this position, when as God himselfe determined, Gen: 2.18. and said, It is not good that the man should be alone? Can the scripture conteine a manifest contradiction: or doeth St. Paul decree directly against God? Noe, noe: let mee search more narrowly into those sacred texts, and I shall find that my God doeth speake of that good which concerneth propagation, without which the whole race of humanitie would soone be extinct: but by his Apostle hee speaketh of a good which opposeth not honestie, but which is joyned with profit: hee decree's not that tis sinfull but onely inconvenient. Moreover hee speakes not of all in generall, but onely of those who are endued from above with the guift of continencie: afterwards therfore hee thus concludeth, 1 Cor: 7.28. saying, But if thou marry, thou hast not sinned: and if a virgin marry, shee hath not sinned: neverthelesse such shall have trouble in the flesh, Thus may mariage indeede [Page 279] be troublesome, but it is not dishonest; it may be inconvenient, but it is not unlawfull. In it selfe considered it hath authoritie from God: yet upon some considerations, or private respects to some indeede it may prove unlawfull. Whatsoëver is concluded without the free consent of both the parties, is not regulated according unto law. Neither feares, nor menates, nor delusions, nor compulsions, noe nor want of yeeres, or judgment can be legally present at the tying of this knott. The consent must be mutuall, and proceede from a sound, a free, and un-corrupted judgment. When the servant of Abraham treated of a mariage betweene Isaak and Rebeckah, her brother and her mother concluded not hastily, but said, Wee will call the damsell, and enquire at her mouth. Gen: 24.57. vers: 58And they called Rebeckah, and said unto her, Wilt thou goe with this man? And shee said, I will goe. Thus must a mutuall, and free consent, without the disturbance of the reason by either excesse of wine, or d [...]stracted thoughts, or feares and terrours, or cozening and delusive promises, be present at the making of this holy contract. The consent indeede must be free, without compulsion; but not without advice and direction. The will of a child (especially in this) must submitt to the wisedome, and the counsell of parents: for seeing that children are reckoned among the [Page 280] goods and possessions of parents, even reason decreeth that their Lords should dispose of them. When Abraham dispatched his servant to sieke a wife for Isaak hee made him sweare by the Lord, Gen. 24.3.the God of heaven, and the God of earth, that hee would not take a wife unto his sonne of the daughters of the Caaannites. c. 28.1. When Isaak called Iacob, and blessed him, hee charged him, and said unto him, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan. Thus the law of the parents was a rule for the children: and they durst not marie where they were forbidden. In a letter which the Prophet sent unto the people whom Nebuchad-nezzar had caried captive to Babylon, Ier. 29.6. hee not onely wrote unto them, saying, Take yee wives, and begett sonnes and daughters: but hee allso ordered them to take wives for their sonnes, and to give their daughters to husbands. Thus must children, (especially in the serious & weighty affaire of mariage) obey their parents in the Lord; Eph. 6.1. Col. 3.20.for this is right. They must obey their parents in all things; much more therfore in the choyce of those whom wedlock must conjoyne: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. It is in the fathers power to give his virgin in mariage: 1 Cor. 7.38. and the Apostle saith, that hee which doth so, doeth well; allthough hee which giveth her not in mariage is said to doe better. The heate of desire doth often darken the eye [Page 281] of reason; and make's us more apt to study our present content, then wisely to prevent an ensueing danger. Therfore must parents have power to dispose of those, who for want of advice may wedde their destruction. This counsell and direction taketh not off from the freedome of consent; but rather sett's them at liberty who for want of discretion had not power to consent. Nature is easily led amisse; and unadvised youth besides other inconveniencies may fall upon the shelves of neerenesse of blood, unlesse they have some to advise, and direct them. Those that choose without reason, and marrie without advice, doe but climb up a steepe and loftie rock, to throw themselves downe a mighty precipice. Lev. 18 Though the Leviticall law hath forbidden diverse to agree in wedlock, yet often wee see that men are apt either directly to oppose that law, or at least to affect most deerely those whom even nature it selfe forbiddeth wedlock; allthough not directly mentioned in the law. But the sager parent will easily conclude, that those whom the law forbiddeth not expressely to joyne in wedlock, implicitely it prohibiteth, if the propinquitie of blood be equall to those whom it denyeth mariage. The safest way is to avoyd such contracts as are not in words permitted by the All-mighty. That mariage must needes be full of discontent, which is not directly grounded on a positive law. Hee who first did [Page 282] institute mariage, did afterwards bound, and limitt the institution. If the spring be troubled, the water of necessitie must become impure. If wee doe not beginne our wedlock according to rule, wee cannot expect that content which our hearts desire. Those who beginne with a breach of the law, can hardly live according to law. Lord, how many sinns and infirmities doe attend us mortalls! Wee are apt to fall, when wee want a guide; and yet wee are unwilling to be guided by our directours. The way to heaven is full of difficulties; yet God hath provided us meanes to overcome them. To prevent the ruine, and destruction of the Kind, Gen: 1.28. 1 Cor. 7.2. vers. 5. hee instituted mariage that wee might be fruitfull, and multiplie. To avoide uncleanesse every man is allowed to have his owne wife, and every woman her owne husband, that Satan tempt them not for their incontinency. To prevent a scarcitie of godly saints, Eph. 6.4. hee allowed wedlock; and commanded parents to bring up their children in the nurture, and admonition of the Lord. Thus our good God is pleased to give us the blessing of increase, that thereby wee may adde to the number of Saints. Hee giveth us a being by his power; a well-being by his providence; yea a christian and comfortable being by his goodnesse, if wee obey his commands, & forget not his statutes. O what a happinesse doth that mariage produce, which is both begunne, [Page 283] and continued in God! It putteth us in mind of that happie accord which was betweene Adam and Eve in innotency: and when wee remember it, wee strive to imitate it. In our choyce, wee magnifie God, when wee honour our parents. In our consent wee glorifie God for the use of our reason. In the freedome of our consent wee are taught to be sensible how sinne had enslaved us; and yet how wee are freed by the mercies of our Redeemer. Thus when wee addresse our selves to God in all things; and both choose, consent, and wedd according to his appointment, our lives are full of comfort, and content. Those who are thus united together, are carefull to live in righteousnesse towards God; and in amitie, and chast sobrietie among themselves. In afflictions they are each a comforter to the other: in prosperitie they share their plenty, and increase: in their issue they magnifie God for his blessings, and both of them strive to make those pledges of love which resemble them selves, to be more like unto God their father in heaven. Eph. 5.23. As the husband is made the head of his wife, so hee strives to protect her, and indulgently cherisheth the flesh of his flesh. Hee instructeth her in righteousnesse, Gen. 2.23. 1 Pet. 3.3.7. and according to knowledg hee dwelleth with her, giving honour unto her, as to the weaker vessell. Againe, as Eve was not made of the head but the rib, so the good wife doeth not [Page 284] seeke to rule, vers. 5.6. Eph. 5.22. vers. 33. 1 Cor. 14.35. but be governed; and being thus in subjection to her owne husband, shee obeyeth her Lord, as Sarah did Abraham. Shee willingly submitteth herselfe to her husband, as unto the Lord. Him shee reverenceth; him shee obeyeth; and quietly, and meekely asketh him at home, what shee desireth to learne. These, ô these are the sweete contents which crowne the maried, c. 7.39. if they marrie in the Lord. Tis true that many times these dueties are neglected through the want of religion: Gen. 3.1. and the scrpent come's often betweene the husband and wife, as at first hee did betweene Adam & Eve. That sinne which expelled him out of heaven hee laboureth to kindle in our secret hearts: and then the wind of the apple doe's blow the coales. From hence ariseth the smoake of d [...]scontent: from hence doeth issue the contention of her which the wise man resembleth to a continuall dropping in a very rainy day. Prov. 27.15. Mar. 10.9. But those whom God hath joyned together, nothing, should seperate. Nothing indeede should, and nothing doth seperate them; for 't is onely sinne which causeth dissention; and that sinne is onely a privation of goodnesse. Had not sinne beene acted even in that very garden where mariage was instituted, that sacred yoake had never beene burdensome. O that our God would be pleased to make us againe so like unto himselfe, that our love might be tyed up in the bond of peace! Eph. 4.3.Wee who by nature [Page 285] are fuller of imperfections then those that are our Lords, should then be freed from the blame of disquietnesse. God hath so honoured our sexe, that hee hath called his Church by the name of a woman: and not onely so, but allso of a wife; for so the Angell said to Saint Iohn: Come hither; Rev. 21.9.I will shew thee the Bride, the Lamb's wife. Of that woman, of that wife of my God must I learne the duetie which I owe to my husband. Eph. 5.22. To him must I submitt my selfe, as unto the Lord, because the husband, is the head of the wife, ver. 23.eveu as Christ is the head of the church. Him I must love: to him I must be subject in every thing. Tit. 2.4 Eph. 5.24. 1 Cor: 7.34. Eph. 5.33. 1 Pet. 3.6, 1 Cor. 14.35. c. 7.10. Tit. 2.5 Col. 3.18. 1 Pet. 3.1. I must care how to please him: I must reverence him: I must obey him, as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord: I must be instructed by him. I must not depart from him; but must be discreete, & chast; a keeper at home; good, & obedient unto him; that the word of God; be not blasphemed. To hin indeede I must submitt my selfe as unto the Lord: but this submission must not be servile; for it must be onely so as it is fitt in the Lord. Him I must love, for hee is my selfe. To him I must be subject, as the inferiour parts are unto the head. I must care how to please him both for the performance of my duety, and for the quietnesse and content which will ensue upon it. I must reverence him, for hee is my superiour: I must obey him, for hee is my Lord; I must be [Page 286] instructed by him, for, hee is my teacher: I must not depart from him, 1 Cor. 7.4. because the power which formerly I had over my selfe, is resigned up to his will; and pleasure. I must be discreete, because I am a wife: chast, because I must be a loyall wife: a keeper at home, because a house-wife: good, and obedient, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Submission is required, joyned with love, to avoyd anger and contention; Prov. 21.19. for Solomon hath decreed that It it better to dwell in the wildernesse, then with a contentious, and an angrie woman. Subjection and reverenceare arguments of a meeke, 1 Pet: 3.4. Prov. 9.13.and quiet spirit, which in the sight of God is of great price: for a clamorous woman is styled foolish. Obedience is due to those that are our instructers: seeing therfore our sexe is guiltie of ignorance, 1 Tim. 2.11. wee are commanded to learne in silence, with all subjection; for if wee are wise in our owne conceits, Prov. 26.12. the wise man saith there is more hope of a foole, then of such. Discretion is allso required in our sexe; for long agoe did Solomon say, c. 11.22 As a jewell of gold in a swine's snowt so is a faire woman which is without discretion. Certainly those who submitt to their husbands, who love them, are subject to them, carefull to please them, reverence them, obey them, are willing to be instructed by them, depart not from them, and are truely discreete, conscience will preserve them chast, civilitie will keepe them at home, and [Page 287] religion will make them good. Ps: 119.5.O that our wayes were made so direct, that wee might keepe these statutes! When I consider of this bond which unite's mee to my husband, how can I choose but blesse my God for his ordinance. When I looke upon the pledges of our mutuall love, those children which God doeth send for our comfort, how can I choose but magnifie his blessing? Though many are the infirmities of a woman; many dueties belong to a wife; many cares and pangs belong to a mother; yet our infirmities are aften redressed by mariage; our dueties are our delight, being guided and comforted by our carefull Lords: and our cares, and pangs are richly rewarded in our obedient children. O how gracious is our God unto us, who governeth us by those who are made our selves: and to increase our love and obedience to our husbands, giveth us the lively resemblance of both in our tender off-spring! These children whom I would have obedient unto mee doe put mee in mind of that obedience which I owe to my husband: and much more of that which all of us owe to our bountifull God. That sacred tye of holy wedlock putteth mee in mind of the infinite love of Christ to his church. Hee hath blessed mee with the first; and shall I not labour to be a worthy, and a thankfull partaker of his love in the last? The first I enjoy, though I deserve it not: the last I [Page 288] am offered, yet zealously and religiously enough I embrace it not. If I neglect my love and duety to my husband, I cannot expect the love of Christ. Alasse by sexe I am fraile, and not willing to obey: by paines I am froward, and not fitt for advice: by sinne I am haughtie, and not apt for submission. Nature enclineth us to love; but unlesse that love be regulated by religion, it often either is sullied with impuritie, or clegenerateth into hatred. O what shall I provide to answer my God, when hee shall stricktly examine mee concerning my duety first to himselfe; next to him whom hee hath made my Lord; and lastly to them who are my tender, and parcelled selfe? Certainly obedient enough I cannot be to God: dutifull enough I can scarcely be to my husband: loving and carefull enough I can hardly be of my children. All of us faile in some thing or other: and I feare that I am the weakest of all. Every sinne displeaseth my God: o what shall I doe to appease his wrath? Wherewithall shall I come before the Lord; Mic. 6.6.and bow myselfe before the high God? Shall I come before him with Burnt offerings; with calves of a yeere old? vers. 7.Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rammes, or with ten thousand rivers of oyle? Shall I give my first-borne for my transgressions: Ps. 51.16. vers: 17the fruite of my body for the sinne of my soule? Alasse hee desireth not sacrifice: hee delighteth not in burnt offering. The sacrifices [Page 289] of God are a broken spirit: a broken, and a contrite heart hee will not despise. To my Lord therfore will I hasten whom I have offended: to my God will I addresse my selfe, whom I have displeased by my manifold neglects: and insteede of rivers of oyle, I will swimme unto him in rivers of my teares. My heart I will teach to groane so lowde, that it shall be heard to heaven. Each teare which I shed shall proceede from a heart so humbly sorrowfull, that they shall seeme to have the faces of Angells in reflexion; and I will pray that those teares may be accepted by the Angel of the covenant. Mal: 3.1. If through my indiscretion contentions have arisen betweene my head and the members, I will meekely justifie the words of the King Solomon; and not onely resemble, but have even the same to which hee compareth mee: Pro: 27.15. I will have a continuall dropping in a very rainie day. Mine eyes shall droppe, and my heart shall droppe; and from them both shall issue as it were water and blood, that with my teares I may wash the sacrifice of my God; and my heart may be made an accepted offering. Mat: 7.25. Yet shall not the raine descend onely, and the floods come, but the winds allso shall blow. From mine eyes shall the raine descend, and the floods of my teares shall come: and then from my heart the winds shall blow. From my heart I will send out sight of sorrow, 1. King 19.11. and the Lord shall [Page 290] be in the wind. And with that wind shall be an earth-quake; my enlivened earth shall quake with feare of the judgments of my God: so the Lord shall be likewise in the earth-quake. And with that earth-quake shall be fire; vers. 12 even the fire of love, and zeale together: so the Lord shall be in that fire. And with that fire shall be a still small voyce; and unto the Lord shall that voyce be directed; for to him will I looke, and pray, and say.
The Prayer.
All-mighty Lord, ever-lasting father, who hast beene pleased to vouch safe mee the blessings of this life, and to give mee my desires both in a husband, and children: be pleased to give mee a thankfull heart for these thy mercies. It is thy goodnesse, and not my merit, that I have receaved from thee these blessings of thy bountie. Iustly, ô most justly, mightest thou at once deprive mee of these comforts, because I have neglected my obedience to the one, and my care of the other. Humbly, ô my God, and with a bleeding heart I confesse my faylings, and am sorrie for mine offences: Lord be gracious to mee thy servant. It is thy hand alone which hath preserved mee from the foule offences which many commit: for without thy protection [Page 291] by nature I am noe better then that strange woman, Pro: 2.17.who forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her God. By nature I am carnally worse by farre then were Aholah, and Aholibah spiritually, who committed whoredomes in their youth. Eze: 23 3. Lord make mee ever acknowledg this thy protection; and testifie my thankfullnesse in my industrious care to performe my dutyes. Be thou stil the protectour and the gracious defender both of mee, and mine. Blesse him whom thou hast sett over mee; and graunt that hee may dwell with mee according to knowledg,1. Pet. 3.7.that so wee being heires together of the grace of life, our prayers may not be hindered. As thou hast made mee a fruitfull vine by the walls of his house, so make mee endeavour to be fruitfull in good workes, Ps. 128.3. Col: 1.10. Ps: 128 3. Ps: 52.8 Prov. 19.14. c: 5.18. Ps: 141.3. Prov. 11.16. c: 12.4. c: 14.1. c: 31.10 vers. 30 and increase to be fruitfull in good Workes, and increase in the knowledg of thee my God. Let those Olive branches, about my table be every one of them like a greene Olive in the house of thee, ô my God; and trust in thy mercy for ever and ever. Make mee to my husband a prudent wife, as sent from thee, that hee may rejoyce with mee the wife of his youth. To this purpose, set â watch, ô Lord, before my mouth, and keepe the doore of my lippes. Make mee a gracious woman retaining honour, that I may be a crowne to my husband: a wise woman, labouring to build up my house, and familie: and a vertuous woman, fearing thee. Heare [Page 292] mee, ô my God, and graunt mee my petitions for the worthinesse of him who is an indulgent husband to his Spouse the Church, even Iesus Christ my onely Lord, and Saviour. Amen.
subject 10 THE TENTH SUBJECT. Teares of an Aged woman.
The Soliloquie.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation:
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
THe dayes of our age are three-score yeeres, and ten; Ps: 90.10. (saith David) and if by reason of strength they be foure-score yeeres, yet is their strength labour, and sorrow; for it is soone cut off, and wee flee away. Lord how true diddest thou speake by the mouth of that Prophet! True I find it, who have now accomplished the number of so many yeeres. My strength is labour, not because of any paines which I take, but onely by reason of the paines which I suffer. Age hath beene allwayes freed from worke, because it suffereth more in a languishing weakenesse, then the young and lustie [Page 294] doe in their travells. Num: 8 24.From twentie and five yeeres old and upward the Levites were required to wayte upon the service of the Tabernacle of the congregation: vers. 25 And from the age of fiftie yeeres, they were to cease wayting upon the service thereof and to serve noe more. God will have the best of our time, yea all for his service. But, alasse, the custome is too common among us to serve our selves at least untill fiftie; and it may be then, or not so soone, wee thinke upon God. But why should wee not rather render the yeeres of our strength to the God of our strength? Ps: 43.2 The fault which I complaine of is too frequent among others; but can I excuse my selfe from the guilt thereof? I now beginne to thinke upon the service of my God, when through age I am noe more able to serve my selfe. Every thing disturbeth and tormenteth my aged limbes: even my very apparell becometh a burden. O why doe people so fondly desire to live to be aged? Have the gray haires delight; or the parched, and dryed body any pleasure? Alasse noe: I find it hath not. This; this is the time which the Preacher speaketh of. Eccl: 12.2. Now the Sunne, and the light, and the moone, and the starres are darkened; and the clowdes returne after the raine. The beautie of the countenance which shined like the Sunne; the skiecolloured eyes; the apples of those eyes which sparkeled like the Starres, are growen dimme, and [Page 295] obscure. The eye-lidds are filled with waters like a swollen cloude, labouring in the deliverie of it's mournefull burden. Pleasures, and delights, and joyes, and merriments have now with-drawne the lustre of their glory: and paines, and dolours, and griefes, and sadnesse have benighted my feeble, and crazie body. Now the keepers of the house tremble, vers. 3.and the strong men bowe themselves, and the grinders cease because they are few, and those that looke out of the windowes be darkened. My knees, which were the supporters of this walking dust, begin to creeckle, and tremble under their oppressing burden. Mine armes, and hands have forgotten their stedfastnesse, and quake and faint in the execution of their just commands. The teeth which prepared the meate for the stomack, are fled away from their narrow chambers; and left the open doores, the hollow gummes in trust to mock my desires. Those eyes which once could dazell the spectatours; & sate proudly in their thrones, darting their rayes upon their desired objects, have now the curtaines of age drawne over their flames; and the vayle of antiquitie eclipseth their glory. Now the doores are shut in the streetes, vers. 4.and the sound of the grinding is lowe, and here is rising up at the voyce of the bird, and the daughters of musick are brought low. My feete are afflicted with lamenesse, that they cannot any longer carie mee into the streetes. [Page 296] The sound of the grinding, the desire of foode, the sharpenesse of the appetite is abated, and growne low. The birds of the night, the theeves and the robbers awake mee out of my slumbers; & sometime my carefull thoughts present to my fant'sie a feare of their entrance, which causeth mee to watch when there is noe necessitie. The daughters of musick, the tongue that was so nimble, and the lippes that were so active, and the voyce that was so melodious, have forgotten the songs, and sonnets of youth. vers. 5. Now I am afraid of that which is high, and feares are in the way: and the Almond-tree flourisheth; and the grasse-hopper is a burden; and desire faileth. When I attempt to walke, the dimnesse of mine eyes doeth multiply the objects, and maketh mee believe that I must climbe over mountaines. The weakenesse of my feeling persuadeth my feete that the smallest stones are mighty hills. Every bush in the way that shooteth up its twigges, appeareth like the ragged teeth of a devouring sawe. The Almond-tree flourisheth; the early, watchfull Almond-tree, which forwardly produceth its fruits in the prime of the yeere: my cares increase, and cause mee to walke betimes in the mornings. My weakenesse accounteth the leaping of a grasse-hopper upon my furrowed skinne, like the weight of a burden that would crush mee to the earth: and the desire of youthfull delights is fled from [Page 297] my remembrance. The silver chord is loosed; vers. 6. & the golden bowle is broken; and the pitcher is broken at the fountaine; and the wheele is broken at the cesterne. The tongue is growne silent, which was wont to sing like the silver trumpetts; the strength of the loynes hath submitted to age: the braine which was kept in the bowle of the skull, is dryed up in the panne which so carefully preserved it. The very gall is broken, and seperated from the liver the fountaine of blood; and the whole body is readily prepared for the sepulcher.
Thus hath my God spared mee so long, untill I am even wearie of this his mercy: for in my youth I was not so fearefull to be snatched from my pleasures, as now I have a longing to be released of my paines. My flesh, Lam: 3.4.and my skinne are made old; and my bones are broken. Such yeeres have seldome crowned the issue of Adam, without the societie of weakenesses, and sorrowes. Gen: 48 10. 1. King 14.4. c: 15.23The eyes of Israël were dimme for age, so that hee could not see. Ahijah the Prophet could not see; for his eyes were sett, by reason of age. Asa in the time of his old age was diseased in his feete. Thus wee that are ancient are subject to as many infirmities as wee have lived yeeres; & each part of our bodies is ready to torment us with severall aches. Now I I stand in neede of a Iob, whose comforts may uphold mee as I am falling; Iob. 4.4and that hee may strengthen my fecble knees. O how I [Page 298] want some charitable person, Is: 35.3 who could strengthen my weake hands, and confirme these feeble joynts! Aged I am; feeble I am: I have that which Solomon calleth the beauty of age; Prov: 20.29. I have the gray head. But what beauty is there in these silver haires, unlesse I have religion springing in my heart? c: 16.31The hoary head is a crowne of glory: yet, not unlesse it be found in the way of righteousnesse. The Israëlites were commanded to rise up before the hoarie head; Lev: 19 32.and to honour the face of the old: but surely the Lord intended not that reverence should be given so much to the age, as to the goodnesse of the person who was thus to be respected. As wee that are aged have more experience through the multitude of our yeeres, then the young and lustie inhabitants of the earth so should wee be instructers of them in goodnesse, and vertue. As wee doe somewhat resemble our God in the number of our dayes; 1. Pet: 1 26. Dan: 7.9. so should wee strive to be holy as hee is holy, who is the ancient of dayes. I can speake the chronicles of times that are past; and report the various occurrences, which happened in my youth: but doe I strive therein to set forth the goodnesse, and mercies of him that hath spared mee so long to publish his praises? Iob saith that With the ancient is wisedome, Iob. 12.12.and in length of dayes understanding. Thus indeede it should be; but doe I verefie those words of Iob? The Prophet complaineth that gray [Page 299] haires were here and there upon Israël;Hos: 7.9. Iob. 32.9.yet hee had noe knowledg. Greate men are not allways wise: neither doe the aged allways understand wisedome. That is onely true wisedome which maketh us resemble the Prophet David, who understood more then the ancients, Ps: 119.100.because hee kept the precepts of the most high. As for other wisedome, it hath noe vallew in comparison of this, for of such it is that Iob speaketh when hee saith, God removeth away the speech of the trustie; Iob: 12.20.and taketh away the understanding of the aged. It is that wisedome alone; it is that understanding onely that David had, which causeth both the guift, and the blessing of antiquity. Prov: 3.1.Let thine heart keepe my commandements (sayth the Lord by king Solomon) for length of dayes, vers. 2.& long life, and peace shall they adde unto thee. This is that true wisedome indeede, which hath length of dayes, in her right hand; vers. 16and in her left hand riches and honour. Such aged people as these were they whom God promised at the restauration of Ierusalem, when hee sayd, there shall yet old men, Zech: 8 4.& old women dwell in the streetes of Ierusalem; & every man with his staffe in his hand for very age. Such as these doubtless were they of whom Eliphaz boasted to Iob in his distresse, when hee said, Iob. 15.10. with us are both the gray headed, and very aged men, much elder then thy father. Thus I reade of the wisely ancient; but am I one of those who have Wisedome, and understanding? Is my zeale as [Page 300] much inflamed with the love of my God, as my body hath abated of its youthfull heate? Long enough have I lived to be acquainted with the precepts, and commandements of the most high: and to teach the younger by a religious example. How many in all these clusters, these heapes of yeares have I advantaged in the way of godlinesse? How many have I endeavoured to reclayme from wickednesse? What judgments of God upon sinfull miscreants have I observed in my time? What use have I made of them for mine owne humiliation? How often have I discoursed of them to the younger people, that so they might be affrighted from the perversenesse of their evill wayes? I can remember trifles which happened even in my childhood; but did I ever observe the goodnesse, and the tender mercies of my maker? My numerous yeeres command mee now to be an adviser of youth. Every one honoureth the hoarie haires: but if there be as well a frost in the conscience, as snow upon the head, wherein doe I excell the very heapes of soyle which are cast out from our dwellings? The dustie monuments of those our ancestours, which in their declining columnes nodde towards the earth, doe as gravely [...]each the certaintie of our end, as these skarres, and wrinkles of age in my shrivelled skinne. The lesse I enjoy of a radicall moisture, the sooner, shall I become the sport of the winds, [Page 301] and be blowen about in mistie ashes. My multiplyed dayes are but the increase of my sinnes, unlesse I can make each line in my face a correctour of vice; that people may imagine that they were placed there as much by my holy anger at offendours, as by the continued account of my flying minuits. Most powerfull was that exhortation of the valiant Ioshua, when, being old and striken in yeeres, Ios: 23.2. hee put the Israëlites in mind of the mercies of God. Most prevalent was the rhetorick of the Doctour of the Gentiles, when (though, as himselfe saith, Philem. vers. 8. vers. 9. hee might be much bold in Christ to enjoyne Philemon that which was convenient, yet) for loves sake hee rather besought him, being such a one as Paul the aged. Were I such a one as was Ioshua, or Paul, my death might be lamented when I shall be caried to my grave. When the greate confusion was to come upon Ierusalem for her many rebellions, it was not to be the least of their punishments, that God would take away from them the prudent, and the ancient. Is. 3.2. c: 9.13. Because the people turned not unto him that did smite them, neither did they seeke the Lord of hosts; vers. 14therfore (saith the Prophet) the Lord will out off from Israël head; and tayle, branch and roote in one day. vers 15.The ancient and honourable hee is the head; and the Prophet that teacheth lyes hee is the tayle. Mine yeeres doe number mee among the ancient of our times, but [Page 302] doe my vertues ranke mee with those that are truely honourable? Those who have well deserved in the time of their lives, are embalmed with teares at their sad, and dolefull interments. But shall I be lamented at my funerall obsequies? Peradventure I may; for some may remember that I have beene open-handed to the poore, and indigent: some that I have visited the sick, and infirme. But what of that? These might appeare to others as acts of charitie; and yet by some sinister intent which I might harbour in my bosome, they may be charged to mine account for hainous offences by the all-seeing God. That good which I performe to any of my neighbours, ought to be done onely in obedience to my Lord. I must therfore be carefull that both my acts, & intents be truely good. If I doe noe good even in the neglect of good, I am guilty of evill. If I serve not my God I robb the Saints upon earth, Ps: 16.3 and I eate and drinke those creatures of his which might relieve his thankfull, and obedient servants. Whatsoëver I have I doe not create it, I onely receave it: so I must necessarily acknowledg it not mine, but Gods. If I imploy not his guifts for the advantage of his glory, I doe but borrow that which I intend not to restore: so though my God neede's not my thanks, yet needes hee must punish mee for mine un-thankfullnesse. What then shall [Page 303] I doe? Have I lived thus long at the bounty of my God, and am I now to beginne to be thankfull to my God? Ould I am; Gen: 27.2.and (as Isaak sayd to Esau) I know not the day of my death: I must therfore so provide for my death, as if this moment were the period of my life. The young may dye; the ould must dye. So teach mee, ô Lord, Ps: 90.12.to number my dayes, that I may apply my heart unto wisedome. O that I were as good as I am aged! Many that are younger in yeeres then my selfe, are elder by farre in goodnesse, and vertue. But why have I beene so slothfull, so negligent in the affaires of heaven? Must age be honoured? Why then doe I not strive to honour him who ever was, even before the foundations of the earth were layed? I must not be receaved into the quire of saints for the number of my yeeres: nor can I come thither unlesse my soule be more innocent then the whitenesse of my head would seeme to resemble. Mine age should truely be reckoned from my conversion. Numbers of yeeres doe but draw mee neerer to my with-drawing chamber; but numbers of vertues may bring mee neerer unto heaven. By the multiplying of my minuits, I have but for a time prevented the longing wormes. I cannot satisfie for my sinnes, though I should continue as long as the world shall endure. Yet if I could, it were folly in mee to expect much longer continuance [Page 304] upon earth. I am travelling to the grave. Eccl: 12.1. Neere it I am. The yeeres are now come wherein I must say, I have noe pleasure in them. Every age hath sinnes which attendeth it. Though some have forsaken mee, yet others are apt to succeede in their roomes: hardly would they be so soone in my grave, and be buried in my repentance. The more low wee aged people doe stoope towards our mother through the decay of nature, for the most part wee grow the more coveteous of that which is digged from the earth. But why should wee who are ancient be so desirous of money? This is not providence, but ungrounded coveteousnesse. A litle will serve us for that litle time wee can stay upon the earth. But to prevent this sinne, my bending to the earth shall put mee in mind of the dust whence I came; and viewing the base originall of my flesh, I will labour to serve the father of spirits. Heb: 12.9. Phil: 3.8. Rev: 21.21,All things will I account but losse, and dung, that I may winne my Iesus. Hee sitteth inthroned in the new Ierusalem, the very streetes whereof are the purest gold. ‘O my God shutt me out noe longer from those eternall riches. I can not choose but offend thee while I remaine upon earth: for his sake therfore who dyed on the cresse, make hast to receave mee into that heavenly paradise.’ O how sick, mee thinks, I grow of this wretched world! My limbs would [Page 305] willingly yeeld to mortalitie; and lye downe in the bed of a silent grave. O that the time were come when I shall say to corruption, Iob. 17.14.Thou art my father, and to the wormes, yee are my mother, and my sisters. Gen: 25 17. When Ishmaël was an hundred thirtie and seaven yeeres old, hee gave up the ghost, and dyed and was gathered to his fathers. Isaak gave up the ghost, c: 35.29and dyed, and was gathered to his people, being old, and full of dayes. Abraham gave up the ghost, c: 25.8.and dyed in a good old age; Iud: 8.32. 1. Chr: 29.28. Gen: 23 1. vers. 2.an old man full of yeeres; and was gathered to his people. Gideon the sonne of Ioash dyed in a good old age. David dyed in a good old age, full of dayes, riches, and honour. Sarah was an hundred twentie and seaven yeeres old when shee dyed in Kiriath. arba. These, and thousands of others who lived greate and good ages, lay downe in the dust; and their spirits were caried by Angells into the kingdome of happinesse, the citty of my God: why then should not I endeavour to follow them to blisse? Dye I must; but when, or where, or how I can not determine. Yet sure I am that if I live the life of the righteous, I shall dye their death, Num: 23.10. and receave their reward. As neere as I am to my longest home, I am not assured what death I shall dye; neither by what disease, nor with what torments, or ease. Gen: 42.38.Iacob was afraid that his gray haires should be brought downe with sorrow to the grave. When David gave Solomon a [Page 306] charge concerning Ioab, hee commanded him, 1. King. 2.6. saying, Let not his hoary head goe downe to the grave in peace. Concerning Shimei hee likewise charged him, vers. 9. saying, His hoary head bring thou downe to the grave with blood. The rebellious Israëlites were threatned for their disobedience, Deut: 28.49. vers. 50 that the Lord should bring a nation against them, which should not regard the person of the old [...], nor shew favour to the young. I have noe more priviledg, nor prerogative then they, unlesse I can prove that I am better then they. Nay more; the manner, or the kind of death, though never so tormenting, is farre from satisfying for the smallest offence. My death may be troublsome, and sull of miserie; and yet my doome may be full of horrour. O what shall I doe, What shall I doe to escape that sentence of wrath which can never be recalled? The more yeeres I have lived, the more sinnes I have committed. The words of the ould Patriarch doe more properly belong unto mes, then they did unto him: Few, Gen: 47.9.and evill have the dayes of the yeeres of my life beene. O what a world of crimes is my soule oppressed with! What shall I doe to pacifie my God, against whom my sinnes, and offences have beene committed? Nothing but blood can satisfie for my skarlet crimes; and noe blood can appease him, but the blood of his Sonne; and noe share can I have in that most precious blood, unlesse I seriously, and [Page 307] faithfully repent mee of my sinnes. Lord, Is: 56.3 though I may say with the Eunuch, Behold I am a drie tree; yet it is in thy power as well to draw water out of the dryest tree, as the obdurate rockes. O my God I desire to offer thee both mine eyes full of teares, and a heart full of groanes. If all that litle moisture which is left in my body could possibly be converted into one teare of timely, and acceptable repentance; even that teare, ô God, would I readily offer thee. ‘Lord I grieve in my very soule for the pollutions of my soule; and am seriously, and heartily offended at my selfe, for offending thee. Accept, ô God, the throbs of my fainting heart; and be reconciled unto mee in the blood of thy sonne. O Lord I sigh: ô Lord I grieve. My heart panteth, my bowells yerne, and my very soule languisheth and pineth to receave the assurance of thy favour I will lye at the poole of Bethesda,’ as hee did who was diseased neere fortie yeeres. Io. 5.5. I will lye at the gate of thy mercy, ô Iesus; and there will I weepe, and grieve, and lament, and call, and cry for mercy at thy hands, ô blessed Redeemer: and my petitions I will tender in all humilitie, and devotion, praying, and saying.
The Prayer.
MErcifull Lord God, Is: 46.3 who didst promise to carrie the house of Iacob from [Page 308] the belly and the wombe,vers. 4.even to old age, and hoary haires: despise not the humble suite of thine aged, and feeble servant. My many yeeres, I must confesse, I have spent in vanitie; and scarce one minuit of them have I devoted to thy service, as I ought to have done. Every day have I offended thee; and every hower have I beene disobedient to thy lawes. My child-hood hath beene full of folly; my youth of stubbornesse; my riper yeeres have beene apt to wantonnesse; and mine old, and aged dayes to coveteousnesse, and impenitencie. Thou mightest long since in thy justice have destroyed mee in my sinnes; and have given mee a portion in the land of darknesse. But now, ô father, since thou hast spared mee so long, doe not condemne mee at the last. Let the heavie heart, and the trembling tongue, and the shaking hands, and the most sorrowfull soule of an humble convert find favour in thine eyes. With thy mercy, Iob. 4.4 Ps: 35.3 Ps: 39.4 ô Lord, strengthen my weake hands, support my feeble knees, comfort my drooping heart; and say unto my soule, I am thy salvation. Lord make mee to know mine end, and the measure of my dayes, that I may know how fraile I am.vers: 5. Ps: 93.2 Ps: 102.27. Ps: 90.9Mine age is nothing before thee; for thou art from everlasting, and thy yeeres shall not faile. O be thou reconciled unto mee through the passion of my Redeemer; for when thou art angry, all our dayes are [Page 309] gone: wee bring our yeeres to an end as a tale that is told. Ps: 71.9 O cast mee not off in this time of old age: forsake mee not, now my strength faileth mee. Though the heavens, Is: 51.6and the [...]earth shall waxe old as doeth a garment, and they that dwell therein shall dye; yet thy salvation shall be for ever, and thy righteousnesse. shall not be abolished.Ps: 43.3. Ps: 71.18. Ps: 23.4 Ps: 62.7 Prov. 23.22.O send out thy light and thy trueth to leade mee now I am old, and gray headed: ô my staffe, and thou who art the onely rock of strength, forsake mee not. Thou hast commanded our children to hearken to their fathers that begat them; and not to despise their mothers when they are old. O my heavenly father doe thou make mee thy child by grace and adoption, that I may hearken unto thee; and never despise, or forsake thy commandements. Make mee allways remember thy workes, ô Lord; Ps: 77.11.and call to mind thy wonders of old time. Give mee grace to be in behaviour as becometh holinsse; Tit: 2.3not given to the vices which commonly delude the ancient, and decrepid; but that I may be a teacher of the things that are good. Peaceably, ô my father, Iob. 5.26. let mee come to my grave in a full age, like as a shock of corne cometh in, in his season. By the course of nature I am ready to goe the way of all the earth. 1. King. 2.2. Iob. 17.1.My breath, and my spirits allmost are spent; my dayes are neere extinct, and now the grave is ready for mee: doe thou, ô my God, prepare [Page 310] mee for thy selfe. With thee I long, and desire to live. To thee I desire to sing praises with the glorified Saints in thy celestiall Paradise. O free mee from the burden of the flesh, and the fetters of sinne; and graunt that when I shall render thee an account of my yeeres, I may behold thy face with comfort, and joy. Let me with desire attend the time of my change, and the hopefull expectation of a happie resurrection. Come ô my God, and free mee from the bondage of sinne and corruption, that I may sitt at thy right hand for ever, and ever. Heare mee ô father, and graunt my petitions through the meritorious death of the Lord of life, even Iesus Christ my onely mediatour, and redeemer. Amen.
subject 11 THE ELEVENTH SUBjECT. Teares of a Barren woman.
The Soliloquie.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation.
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
WHen God had created Adam and Eve, hee blessed them, Gen: 1.28.and said, Be fruitfull, and multiply, and replenish the earth. This was a blessing in the time of innocency; but did it remaine a blessing after the fall? Yes doubtlesse; for long after the breach of the first commandement the Psalmist determined that Children are an heritage of the Lord: Ps: 127 3.and the fruit of the wombe is his reward. Yet, though it remaineth a blessing, it is not without the societie of a punishment: for so the Lord said unto the woman; Gen: 3.16.I will greatly [Page 312] multiply thy sorrow, and thy conception: in sorrow shalt thou bring forth children. This sorrow is an effect of sinne, and not a sorrow for sin. Yet surely it hath something in it above, or beside a punishment for the first offence: for neither is the sorrow in it selfe a sinne, as is allwayes that which is onely worldly, which beginneth, continueth, and endeth in griefe: nor doeth this sorrow conclude in either sin, or shame, Io: 16.21. or griese; but (as our Saviour saith) As soone as shee is delivered of the child, sh [...] remembreth noe more the anguish, for joy that a man is borne into the world. The paine is a remembrancer of originall corruption; but the issue is a continuance of the blessing in Paradise. This paine I am freed from whilest I continue barren: but then I want the blessing, and the joy which accompanie the paine. But why doe I complaine? Why doe I disturbe my selfe for want of that which might become my tormentour? All children are not blessed: all are not elected to be heires of salvation. Mat: 20 16. Many indeede are called; but few are chosen. Doubtlesse Cain, and Ham, and Esau, and Iudas, and many millions besides, did cost their mothers many bitter throwes, and torments, and cryes; yet reaped not their parents that joy which others have receaved. Is it not then better for mee to content my selfe with this state which I am in; then to be the mother of a child, which [Page 313] might be a fire-brand of hell? All are not chosen to be vessells unto honour. 2. Tim. 2.21. The way to destruction is a beaten roade. My torments would be greater (were I the mother of a child) for feare that my child should dishonour my God; then they could be with bringing that child into the world. The cares of parents are full of trembling, and disquietnesse, allways suspecting ill accidents, or diseases; or (which is worse) a second death to befall their issues. Reu: 21 8. From these I am freed whilest I continue fruitlesse; and I enjoy the societie of a husband without the disturbance of children. But yet, mee think's, I rest: not satisfied; for barrennesse was ever accounted a reproach; therfore Elizabeth upon her conception sayd. Luc: 1.25. Thus hath the Lord dealt with mee in the dayes wherein hee looked on mee, to take away my reproach among men. Gen: 16 4. Thus when Hagar had conceaved by Abram, her mistresse Sarai was despised in her eyes. But alasse whats this? A litle reproach it may be among men; but such as cannot continue long: not longer, at most, then my life shall last; and then it will cease, or at least not trouble mee. Surely it is not so contemptible in the eyes of my God; for if so it were, then Iob would not put it as a marke of the wicked, Iob: 24 21. that Hee evill intreateth the barren that beareth not. And yet I suspect that some grievous sinne is the cause of mine affliction; for barrennesse hath beene often sent [Page 314] as a curse, and fruitfullnesse as a blessing. How happie was the wife of Terah in her faithfull Sonne Abraham! How happie was Iochebed in her meeke Sonne Moses! How happie was Elizabeth in Iohn the Baptist! But how most happie of all was the virgin Mary in her holy child Iesus, prononnced so by he [...] cosijn Elizabeth, who sayd unto her, Blessed art thou among women, Luc: 1.42.and blessed is the fruit of thy wombe! This blessing, mee thinks, I seriously long for, though I cannot expect a child of such excellency as was Abraham, or Moses, or Iohn the Baptist. But why doe I thus disturbe my selfe about that which is not in my power to amend, or alter? Fruitfullnesse hath not allways beene a token of mercy: sometimes it hath spoken the wrath of the All-mighty. 2. Sam. 11.5. Bathsheba indeede was free from barrennesse; but her child by King David was the spurious issue of a defiled bed. Such sinister practises have beene the faults of diverse, who have rather chosen to dishonour God, then to be despised by men. But this remedie would prove farre worse then the disease, if I should seeke to be pregnant by the wayes of wickednesse. Thus to become a mother I should dishonour my husband, and (which is infinitely worse) my Lord and my God. Thus should I desclayme the protection of God my father, and the love of mine indulgent husband; and all in a wicked and lustfull [Page 315] curiositie to take away my reproach among men. Yea thus by endeavouring to salve my credit I should more deepely wound it: and to avoyd a contempt for what I cannot helpe, I should be branded with infamie which I could never wipe off. Conscience, and obedience to the lawes of my God forbid the thought of so dangerous a cure: loyaltie, and affection to my husband deny it: love, and desire of vertue chide it: yea and care of my good name doeth plainly prohibit it. I had rather continue for a time a reproached Elizabeth, then be a lustfull Bathsheba to be the wife of a King. It lyeth in the power of him who is omnipotent to make mee (if hee pleaseth) a joyfull mother. I will not despaire while I live upon the earth, because I know that my God is powerfull who dwelleth in heaven. This barrennesse may peradventure be sent mee in mercy, allthough so heavily I take it for a judgment. It may be I should faile in the duety of patience in the time of my travell; or of love, and care in the education of my children: or I might be too fondly guiltie of doating on them; & so idolatrously robbe my God of his honour, to conferre it wickedly on the issue of my loynes. Moreover who knoweth what times of trouble may come upon the land; or what destruction, and desolation may be sent upon my countrie. If persecution, or warre should enforce mee to flee, I can the better escape now I am free [Page 316] from children. For this very cause my blessed Redeemer foretelling the distruction of the citty of Ierusalem, sayd unto the women, Daughters of Ier [...]salem weepe not for mee,Lu: 23.28. vers: 29but weepe for your selves, and for your children: For behold the dayes are comeing in the which they shall say, Blessed are the barren, and the wombe that never bare, and the pappes that never gave suck. So this barrennesse may bring content, in that it freeth mee from cares, and various perturbations; although (if it might seeme good in the eyes of my God) most willingly would I embrace the trouble, that I might increase his Kingdome. I will resolve howsoëver to submit my selfe to the greate disposer; and will hope that it may be his pleasure to send mee my desires. Time was when the Gentiles knew not God; which made the Psalmist so magnifie God for his mercies to Israël, Ps: 147.19: when hee sayd, Hee sheweth his word unto Iacob: his statutes, and his judgments, unto Israël: vers: 20Hee hath not dealt so with any nation; neither have the heathen knowledg of his law. Then had the Gentiles a spirituall barrennesse, for they were barren of religion; and yet the Prophet comforteth them, Is: 54.1 saying, Sing ô barren, thou that didest not beare: breake forth into singing, and cry alowd thou that didst not travell with child; for more are the children of the desolate, then the children of the maried wife, saith the Lord. This Prophesie is fullfilled to the joy [Page 317] and rejoycing of my selfe, and many millions more: for the song doeth noe longer runne in the phrase of the Psalmist, Ps: 76.1 ves. 2. In Iudah is God knowne; his name is greate in Israel: In Salem allso is his tabernacle; and his dwelling place in Sion. Noe, noe: Lu: 2.32. hee who was the glory of the people Israel, did come to be a light to lighten the Gentiles. Thus the Gentiles which had not beene a people, Rom. 9 25.were called to be the people of the most high God: shee who had not beene beloved did through his mercy become the beloved of God: and shee that was barren through ignorance and infidelitie, grew the faithfull spouse of the most high. Why should I then give over my hopes? Hee who made a fruitfull church even of the heathen which knew him not, Is. 54.3 can (if hee pleaseth) make mee a fruitfull mother of children. verf 5. Her maker is her husband; the Lord of hosts is his name: and her redeemer is the holy one of Israel; the God of the whole earth shall hee be called. I am one of the members of that church which hath Christ to her husband: I will therfore never despaire either of his power, or mercy. I dare not repine as Rachel did, when shee bare Iacob noe children and envyed her sister. Gen: 34 1. vers: 2.I dare not say to my husband as shee did to hers, Give mee children or else I dye; lest his anger should be kindled against mee, and hee should answer mee as Iacob did her, and say, Am I in God's steed, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the [Page 318] wombe? I know it is God who giveth; and I know it is God who withholdeth these mercies. I dare not be too inquisitive into a reason in nature, lest I dis-honour him who is the God of nature. I may, and I will desire this blessing at the hands of him who giveth liberally, Iam: 1.5.and upbraideth not. Yet lest my petitions should be empty if they rise not with teares, I will weepe for my sinnes which have caused his displeasure: and yet I will weepe in hope that hee will be reconciled unto mee. Of every judgment I must find the cause in the wickednesse of my selfe. I want the comfort and content of children, because I my selfe have beene a child disobedient to my God. But I will bewayle my sinnes, and bemoane my condition: and allthough hee cannot be ignorant of my servent desires, yet I will lay open to him the griefe of my heart. Gen: 25 21.Isaak intreated him for his wife, because shee was barren; and hee was intreated of him, and Rebekah his wife conceaved: And shee had two children which strugled together in their mother's wombe. ver: 22 At the prayer of Elisha the good Shunamitish woman conceaved, 2. King 4.17. Gen: 20 17.and bare a sonne at that very season that Elisha had sayd unto her, according to the time of life. Faithfull Abraham prayed unto the Lord, and the Lord healed Abimelech, and his wife, and his mayd servants, and they bare children: vers: 18for the Lord had first closed up all the wombes of the house of Abimelech, because [Page 319] of Sarah Abrahams wife. The Lord did promise unto Israël upon obedience, saying, There shall nothing cast their young, Ex. 23.26. Deut. 7 12.nor be barren in thy land. Another promise was made unto them by God himselfe, when hee sayd, It shall come to passe if yee hearken to these judgments, and doe them, Thou shalt be blessed above all people: there shall not be male, or female barren among you, or among your cattell. Againe they were promised by the mouth of Moses, saying, It shall come to passe, c. 28.1.if thou shalt hearken diligently unto the voyce of the Lord thy God, to observe and to doe all the commandements which I command thee this day: vers. 11the Lord shall make thee plenteous in goods, in the fruit of thy body, and in the fruit of thy cattell, and in the fruit of thy ground, in the land which the Lord sware unto thy fathers to give thee. But I have not such an Isaak to intreate for mee, as Rebekah had; nor such an Elisha as the Shunamitesse had; nor such an Abraham as Abimelech had. What then? I have the promise of my God, if I be a true Israëlite indeede, Io. 1.47 such a one as Nathaniel was, in whom was noe guile. If I obey my God, and hearken to his judgments, and doe them: If I hearken diligently unto the voyce of the Lord my God to observe, and to doe all the commandements which hee commandeth mee to doe; then I may expect the blessing which was promised unto Israël. The promises of God are made [Page 320] upon conditions; and my petitions to God must be likewise upon conditions, when I begge of him but temporall blessings. His blessings descend not, unlesse they be called downe by my religious obedience: nor may I pray for the blessings which concerne this life but with this condition, If they may stand with his pleasure. In his power it is to graunt the suite which so earnestly I make: I wish it may be his pleasure to fullfill my desires. Barren Sarai was promised a sonne, and Isaak was borne. Gen. 21 2.3. Lu: 1.7 vers. 57 Gen. 29 31. c 30.22. vers. 23 Though Zacharias and Elizabeth were stricken in yeeres, and Elizabeth was barren, yet they were blessed with Iohn the Baptist. Though Leah was hated by reason of her barrennesse, yet wee reade that the Lord did open her wombe. God remembred Rachel, and hearkened unto her, and opened her wombe: and shee conceaved, and bare a sonne, and sayd, God hath taken away my reproach. The wife of Manoah the Danite was barren; Iud. 13.2. vers. 3. vers. 14 yet the Angel of the Lord appeared unto her, and sayd unto her, Behold now thou art barren, and bearest not; but thou shalt conceave, and beare a sonne: And the woman bare a sonne, & called his name Samson; and the child grew, and the Lord blessed him. 1. Sam. 1.10. Barren Hannah was in bitternesse of soule for want of a child, when Peninnah her fruitfull rivall provoked her sore to make her fret, vers. 6. vers. 20because the Lord had shut up her wombe: and shee had a sonne whom shee named Samuel. Thus may [Page 321] God, if hee please, looke upon my reproach; and send mee a child, which I may dedicate to his service. I will therfore follow the stepps of Hannah the devout: vers: 15 I will weepe with her, and I will fast with her; and with her, will I powre out my soule before the Lord. Who knoweth but my teares may prevayle through the merits of my Redeemer; and my sobbs, and sighes may draw downe a blessing? Ps. 30.8 On my knees therfore will I goe unto the Lord and gett mee unto my Lord right humbly. I will weepe and pray, and mourne and pray, and sigh and pray; and praying I will say.
The Prayer.
HEeavenly King, father of mercies, Ps: 72.5 thou who tookest mee out of my mother's wombe, but hast denyed unto mee the fruit of mine: vouchsafe to looke upon the reproach of thy servant. I know that my sinnes doe stoppe the current of thy mercies: but it is thine honour that thou art a forgiver of offences. Forgive my sinnes the cause of thy curse; and heale the barrennesse of thy despised hand-mayd. 1. Sam. 1.11. O Lord of hosts if thou wilt indeede looke upon the affliction of thine hand-mayd, and remember mee, and not forget [Page 322] thine hand-mayd, but wilt give unto thine hand-mayd a man-child; then I will give him unto thee all the dayes of his life. Thou knowest that I am a woman of a sorrowfull spirit; and out of the aboundance of my complaint, vers. 16and griefe doe I pray unto thee. Send mee, I beseech thee, a Samuël, even such a child as I have asked of thee (if it may stand with the pleasure of thee my Lord, and King) that may bring honour unto thee, and comfort unto thy petitioner. I shall never bee satisfied untill thou hearest my supplications. Pro. 30 15. Either graunt my desires, or arme mee with patience; that in all things I may serve thee with quietnesse, Mat: 4.28. and content. The earth thou hast made to bring forth fruit of her selfe: and it is as easie for thee to blesse mee with increase. But if thou hast otherwise determined in thy secret will, howsoever graunt that I may never conceave wickednesse in my heart, Act: 5.4. to whom thou denyest the conception of a child. Iam. 1.15. Let not lust conceave in mee, lest it bring forth sinne; and sinne when it is finished bring forth death. Say unto my heart as effectually as once thou didst unto the fig-tree; Mat: 21 19. Gal: 5.22. vers. 23 Heb. 12 11.let noe such fruit grow on thee hence forth for ever: but let mee allways produce the fruits of the spirit, against which thine Apostle assureth mee that there is noe law. Let this thy chastening yeeld unto mee the peaceable fruit of righteousnesse, since I am exercised [Page 323] therein: so shall I willingly submit to thy pleasure, and beseech thee to graunt mee comfort and joy in that blessed sonne of a happie woman, even Iesus Christ my onely Lord, and Saviour. Amen.
THE TWELFTH SUBjECT. Teares of a child-bearing woman. • 1 At the time when she beginneth to fall in travell. , and • 2 After her deliverie.
Ist: Her teares when she beginneth to fall in travell. The Soliloquie consisting of three parts: viz: • 1 The cause of the sorrow, and the confidence of the sorrowing. , • 2 The greatenesse of the pangs, hazards, and feares of a travelling woman. , and • 3 Consolation, and comfort for a woman in the bitternesse of her travell.
The first part of the Soliloquie, treating of the cause of the sorrow, and the confidence of the sorrowing.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, ô Lord; consider my meditation:
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry, my King, and my God; for unto the will I pray.
VVHen David confessed his actuall crimes, hee forgot not the guilt [Page 325] of originall corruption; & therfore he professed, saying, Behold I was shapen in iniquitie, vers. 5.and in sinne did my mother conceave mee. By the corruption of nature even Saint Paul himselfe was not without sinne that dwelled in him. That which is borne of the flesh is flesh, Rom: 7 17. Io. 3.6. as my Saviour himselfe did tell Nicoden us; and this flesh concludeth us all to be carnall, Rom: 7 14.and sold under sinne. This originall stayne is the ground of all our actuall impieties: justly therfore is the birth of a child accompanied with the torments, and sorrowes of the mother, left women should forget the tast of the apple. I will greatly multiply thy sorrow, Gen: 3.16.and thy conception (sayd the Lord unto Eve) in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children. O this heavie chastisement doth now approach, to make mee sensible of my sinfull beginning. As I caused the teares to flow from the eyes of my groaning mother; so now even in mine eyes doe they likewise arise through the pangs which doe seize on mee by reason of my babe. Lord, what a trembling possesseth every joynt of mee! and when I hope for ease by changing my seate, or lying on my Couch, or attempting to walke, even in every place doeth the sharpnesse of the paine increase its strength; and though I multiply my cryes, yet mine anguish ceaseth not. O what miserable perplexities are wee weake, and sinfull women [Page 326] involved in! Wee who can worst endure are most afflicted: and allthough our tempers, and constitutions conclude us weaker by farre then our husbands; yet our sorrowes doe greatly exceede their sufferances. Certainly wee suffer more, because wee were first in the first offence: and for our forwardnesse both to consult with the Serpent, and to tempt the man, our portion is the greater in pangs, and throwes. Wee are driven to such extreamities, that either wee must be tormented in our issue, or else reproached for our barrennesse. Surely had Eve but beene sensible of the least smart of a travelling woman, shee would have continued in integritie for feare of the punishment. Gen: 2.17. Our first parents were threatned but with dying the death in the day they did eate of the tree of knowledg: but I, mee thinks, doe find that that curse is increased; for death will not come without the societie of paines. There is something of that punishment in the paines which prepare us for the entertainment of death; something in the very instant of the soul's departure; and yet, unlesse our mercifull Redeemer take pitty upon us, the greatest of all will be in a second death. Of the first paines I am now made most accurately sensible: in the second I must agree with the children of Eve: but from the last I have an assured hope that my [Page 327] God will deliver mee. Oh, my paines, my paines grow stronger, and stronger: ‘What shall I doe? Strengthen mee, ô Iesus, and enable mee to suffer with constancy, and patience what I must endure for a child.’ Elizabeth was not come to the hower of torment when, Lu: 1.24. vers. 25 hiding her selfe for five moneths together, shee rejoyced, and sayd, Thus hath the Lord dealt with mee in the dayes wherein hee looked on mee, to take away my reproach among men. Yet are these pangs more desireable then the reproach of barrennesse; not for themselves, but for their happie event. Barrennesse produceth shame, and discontent: but fruitfullnesse produceth sorrow with comfort. The barren desire what they partake not of: the fruitfull may have content in that which causeth their torments. By us the kingdome of heaven is increased: by them the world seemeth ready to expire. But whence doth this fruitfullnesse accrow unto us? If it were onely, and meerely from our selves, then I suppose that none would be barren. If it be a blessing sent from God, I wonder at the wicked; for the Psalmist saith, They are full of children, Ps: 17.14.and leave the rest of their substance for their babes. But I neede not wonder, if I either consider the fore-goeing words, where the Prophet saith, They have their portion in this life: or if I remember that it is in the power of [Page 328] God even from them to produce some vessells of honour. Israël was threatned by Moses, saying, Deut: 28.15. It shall come to passe, if thou wilt not hearken unto the voyce of the Lord thy God, that Cursed shall be the fruit of thy body. vers. 18 O how full of horrour assuredly was this to the women of Israël, that those children should be sentenced to eternall weeping, for whom their mothers had cryed in the anguish of their births! Such, ô such there are, and allways shall bee, even to the end of the world, as shall draw teares from the eyes of the weaker parent both in the extreamitie of the throwes, and in the feare of their destruction. Surely such wieked children as those, if any, shall have cause to expostulate as did the patient Iob, Iob. 3.11. vers: 12 and cry, Why dyed I not from the wombe? Why did I not give up the ghost when I came out of the beliy? Why did the knees prevent mee; or why the beeasts that I should suck? c: 10.18Wherefore hast thou brought mee forth out of the wombe? Oh that I had given up the ghost and noe eye had seene mee! Or they may say as once did the Prophet Ieremiah, Cursed be the day wherein I was borne: Ier. 20.14. vers. 15let not the day wherein my mother bare mee be blessed. Cursed be the man who brought tidings to my father, saying, A man-child is borne unto thee, making him very glad. vers. 16And let that man be as the citties which the Lord overthrew, and repented not: and let him heare the cry in the [Page 329] morning, and the showting at noone-tide:vers 17because hee slew mee not from the wombe; or that my mother might have beene my grave and her wombe to be allways greate with mee. vers. 18Wherfore came I forth out of the wombe to see labour, and sorrow, that my dayes should be consumed with shame? But I will hope better things of mine, and beseech my God that it may be like unto Paul, who speaketh of himselfe, saying, Gal: 1.15. vers. 16 God did seperate mee from my mother's wombe, and called mee by his grace, to reveale his sonne in mee &c.
Oh my paines grow sharper and sharper, and are strong remembrancers of the pollution even of conception. But there is a conception as well Spirituall as Carnall: I must therfore examine Whether the wombe of my heart hath not conceaved sinne? Iob. 15 35. Is: 33.11. for these pangs arise not without foregoeing wickednesse. The hypocrites, sayth Iob, doe conceave mischiefe. The enemies of the church, sayth the Prophet Isaiah shall conceave chaffe. If therfore, with the hypocrites, c. 59.4. I have conceaved mischiefe, I feare that with them too, I have brought forth-vanity, and my belly hath prepared deceit. If, with the sinfull Iewes, I have not called for justice, nor pleaded for trueth: if I have trusted in vanity, and have spoken lyes; then I feare that with them too, I have conceaved mischife, and brought forth iniquity. If, with the enemies of the church, I have [Page 330] conceaved chaffe; then I feare that, with them too, I have brought forth stubble, and I may justly suspect that my breath, as fire, shall devoure it. Ps: 7.14 If, which the ungodly, I have travelled with iniquity, and have conceaved mischiefe; then I feare that, with them too, I have brought forth falsehood. Thus if I have joyned with the hypocrites, if with the enemies of the church, if with the sinfull Iewes, if with the ungodly, or if I have trusted in vanity, what then can I looke for, but that having conceaved all kind of abominations, I should (with the wicked man) travell with paine all my dayes? Iob. 15.20. Thus, I must confesse, I have beene forward in the conception of all manner of evill; and the production hath beene even as quick as the thought. Ex: 1.19. I may say of my selfe as the Mid-wives sayd once to angry King Pharaoh concerning the Hebrew women; I have beene lively, and have beene delivered of my grievous crimes ere any midwife came in unto mee. I have beene both father, and mother, and mid-wife, and nurse, and every thing else to bring the abortive bratts of impietie into the world. What now can I expect therfore, but that I should dye in anguish; and that my child which I goe with, should be at once both mine issue, and my destroyer? But I will hope for better, and I will pray for better; for I have a good, and a mercifull God, in whom I will trust. [Page 331] To him I will fly both for remission, comfort, and succour. I know that hee is offended with the sinfull progenie of my corrupted heart: Ex: 1.16. but to appease him I will destroy them all, as the Mid-wives were commanded to doe by the Hebrew males. Ps: 137.9. I will gaine hapinesse by such an execution as was required upon the daughter of Babylon: for I will take them, and dash them, both the greate and the litle ones against the stones. Or if that will not destroy them, I will use them as the Allmighty did the chariotts and the bost of Pharaoh; I will cast them into the sea, Ex: 15.4. vers. 5. vers. 1. and the depths shall cover them. The sea shall be my teares, in which I will sinke them so deepe, (even the horse and his rider; the heart that hath conceaved, and the sinne that hath beene borne) that they shall never rise againe. Or if this yet will not suffice, vers. 4. I will use them as the Lord did the chosen Captaines of the King: I will drowne them in the red sea; even in the blood of my blessed Reedemer; where they shall be sunke so deepe, that it shall be quite forgotten that ever they were. Thus shall my God be appeased, and shall visit mee in love; so that I shall not neede to feare when my throwes increase, because I will depend on the rock of my salvation. I will resolve with confidence, and a setled mind, that allthough hee slay mee, Iob 13.15.yet will I put my trust in his mercy; and I am assured that [Page 332] hee will send mee a happie issue to my tryalls and afflictions.
part 2 The Second part of the Soliloquie, treating of the greatnesse of the pangs, hazards, and feares of a travelling woman.
SAint Iohn in the Apocalyps telleth us, Rev. 12 1. that There appeared a greate wonder in heaven; A woman cloathed with the Sunne; and the Moone was under her feete; and upon her head was a crowne of twelve starres: vers. 2.And shee being with child, cryed, trave [...]ing in birth, and pained to be delivered. That woman is the Church, styled a woman both because shee is fruitfull, and by reason of her subjection to Christ her husband. The Moone is under her feete; the pompe, and prosperitie of the world is placed farre beneath her affections. Her crowne of starres is the twelve Apostles. This woman, this Church is with child: shee conceaveth by faith, shee cryeth out in her devotions; shee is pained in her sorrowes, and severall afflictions; and shee is delivered when her children are receaved into glory. If Saint Iohn did liken her pangs unto the pinching throwes of a travelling woman, it must needes be imagined that her paines were grievous. Oh I feele, I feele what her torments were resembled unto. Such paines doe now beginne [Page 333] ginne to seize on mee, as the greatest in the world have beene described by these. Ier. 13.21. Such were threatned to Iudah: Shall not sorrowes take thee as a woman in travell? Such to Lebanon: O inhabitant of Lebanon, c: 12.23.that makest thy nests in the Cedars, how gracious shalt thou be when pangs come upon thee, the paine as of a woman in travell? Such to Babylon: Is. 13.6 Howle yee, for the day of the Lord is at hand; it shall come as a destruction from the All-mighty: Therfore shall all hands be faint, vers. 7.and every mans heart shall melt: and they shall be afraid; vers. 8.they shall be inpaine, Ier: 48.41.Kerioth is taken, and the strong holds are surprised, and the mighty men's hearts in Moab at that day shall be as the heart of a woman in her pangs. Such to Edome: c: 49.22. The heart of the mighty men of Edome shall be as the heart of a woman in her pangs. Such to Ephraim: Hos. 13 12. vers. 13. The iniquity of Ephraim is bound up; his sinne is hid: the sorrowes of a travelling woman shall come upon him: And such to the ungodly, when our Saviour shall come in the clowdes: When they shall say, 1. Thes. 5.3.Peace, and Safety, then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travaile upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape. Such as these were inflicted on those Kings that were assembled, and passed by the citty of the great King on the north sides of the mountaine of [Page 334] holinesse: Ps. 48.6 Feare tooke hold upon them there; and paine as of a woman in travaile. Such on Sion: Wee have heard the fame thereof; Ier. 6.24.our hands wan [...] feeble; anguish hath taken hold of us, and paine as of a woman in travaile. c 4.31. And againe: I have heard a voyce as of a woman in travell, and the anguish as of her that bringeth forth her first child; the voyce of the daughter of Zion that bewayleth her selfe, that spreadeth her hands, saying, Woe is mee now, for my soule is wearied because of murderers. Such on Damascus: Damascus is waxed feeble, c: 49.24.and turneth herselfe to flee, and feare hath seized on her: anguish, and sorrowes have taken her, as a woman in travell. c: 50.42. Such on the King of Babylon: Every one of the people of the North shall be put in aray like a man to battell against thee ô daughter of Babylon: vers. 43The King of Babylon hath heard the report of them, & his hands waxed feeble: anguish tooke hold of him, and pangs as of a woman in travell. Such on the Prophet Isaiah, bewayling the captivity of the people: Is 21.3. My loynes are filled with paine; pangs have taken hold upon mee, as the pangs of a woman that travelleth: I was bowed downe at the hearing of it; I was dismayed at the seeing of it. And such on the people of God, when they were caried into captivity: c. 26.16. Lord in trouble have they visited thee; they powred out a prayer when thy chastening was upon them: vers. 17like as a woman with child, that draweth neere the time of her [Page 335] deliverie, is in paine, and cryeth out in her pangs; so have wee beene in thy sight ô Lord. O these sorrowes, these pangs and paines, this faint [...]esse of hands, this melting of heart, this anguish, this wearinesse of soule, this feeblenesse, this turning to flee, this paine of the loynes, this bowing downe, this dismaying, and this [...]ying out in pangs is now my portion. Deepe shall I drinke of this cup of trembling: Is. 51.17. it is allready at my mouth: I quiver, and quake at the bitternesse thereof. Faine would I delay it; faine would I forget what I must endure it. I shift from place to place, from seate to seate: I wring my hands; I tremble in my cold, and fainting sweates. Faine would I buy it off; and be contented to offer the service even of my whole life, but to be freed from these calamities, which beginne to fall on mee. Ps: 55.4 My heart is sore pained within mee; and the terrours of death are fallen upon mee. Fearefullnesse, and trembling are come upon mee; vers. 5.and horrour hath allmost over whelmed mee. I cannot forget how the wife of Phinehas the sonne of Eli, being neere to be delivered; 1. Sam: 4. 19.when shee heard the sad tidings that the Arke of God was taken, and that her husband, and her father in law were dead, shee bowed herselfe, and travelled; for her paines came upon her: shee travelled, was delivered and dyed. I cannot forget how Rachel journeying from Bethel, Gen: 35 16. when there was but a litle way to come to [Page 336] Ephrath, travelled, and had hard labour: And though when shee had hard labour, the Mid wife sayd unto her, vers. 17Feare not, thou shalt have this sonne allso: vers. 18 and shee had her sonne, and called him Ben-oni, the soone of her sorrow; but his father called him Benjamin, the sonne of his right hand; yet shee dyed, The remembrance of these that dyed in childbirth increaseth my feares, and addeth to mine affliction. I am so dismayed betweene the pangs which I suffer, and the suspition of death which possesseth my soule, that I am I know not how divided, and forlorne. One while I resolve to submit to my God; another while I suspect that I shall not possiblie endure the severity of my tortures. My teares are many: my pangs increase, and double and treble themselves upon mee. One O is not enough to cry; but, as if my short life were onely to be inployed in accents of sorrow, I leng then my exclamations, and I cry oooooo &c: as if my paine waxe the lesser when I make my complaints either lowder, or longer. Sometimes my pangs are so thick, and so violent, that I have not time to feare: and sometimes againe my feare is so greate, that I have not leasure to mind the pangs I endure. The body suffers and the mind labour's; and all is in a kind of distruction, and confusion. Sometimes I feare that I am yeelding up the ghost, and [Page 337] then a pull, a tugge, a throw command's [...]nee to forget my feare, and sett my selfe to endure. Sometimes I feare least my child should not come right, or not be rightly shaped, or not be perfectly limbed; and then a throw againe maketh mee lay aside my feares. In the depth of my sufferances I am all most bereft of my senses with the violence of the paine: and at times of intermission I am halfe distracted with these doubts, and feares. Act: 3.2. Sometimes I thinke of the man that was lame from his mother's wombe, and was faint to be caried; whom they layd dayly at the gate of the temple which was called Beautifull, to aske almes of them that entered into the temple: and then I am jealous that either my child may be a creeple; or else a beggar. At other times I thinke of the man at Lystra, c: 14.8.impotent in his feete, who was likewise a creeple from his mother's wombe, and never had walked: and presently I feare that mine may be so too. Againe sometimes my anxious thoughts fixe upon the man who was blind from his birth: Io: 9.1. Mat: 12 22. Mar: 7.32. sometimes on him who was blind and dumb: sometimes on him who was deafe, and had an impediment in his speech: and then I suspect that mine infant may be so too. But why, ô why doe I harbour such thoughts, or utter such cryes of distrust? Why doe I embrace such suspitions and feares of the death of my selfe, or of impotency of my child? If I [Page 338] despaire of ease, I forget my comforter. If I submit not to his pleasure, I deny him to be my God. If I repine at my sufferances, I adde unto the cause, and so I multiply mine iniquities. I cannot deny that my God is omniscient: I may not deny that my God is omnipotent: I would not deny that my God is compassionate. Since then I doe know that hee knoweth my miseries, and that hee hath power to release mee whensoëver hee pleaseth; it is my duety to hope in his mercy, and tender compassion. If I feare my death, I condemne my life; and publish to the world my neglect of preparation. If I have not layed up in store against the hower of my departure, especially seeing I doe know that many have dyed in the extreamitie of their throwes, it will plainly appeare that I either cared not for heaven, or dreaded not hell. If I fear too much that my child may fayle in a due proportion, or too vainely distrust that it may come imperfect, I dishonour my God, who shaped it in my wombe. It is not of mine owne fashioning: Ps: 139.14. it wa fearefully, and wonderfully made by my maker: I must therfore content my selfe with what hee hath allotted mee. If the shape be perfect, the greater must be my thankes: if it prove imperfect, the greater must be my patience: in all I must be sure to give glory unto God. My service to him hath beene weake, & imperfect; [Page 339] hee may justly therfore shape my child according to my service. If so hee should doe, I cannot resist it; I must not repine at it. I will resolve therfore by the assistance of his grace, that allthough my cryes may be lowd, yet they shall not be sinfull: they may expresse my sufferance, but not any impatience. I will feare to dye when I thinke onely of my desert; but I will desire to dye when I faithfully rely upon the merits of my Redeemer; and desire that this mortall may put on immortality. 1. Cor. 15.54. I know that some children have beene borne imperfect; but what I my selfe doe not fashion, I will never repine at. Had I made it my selfe, it would have beene monstrously deformed; for my very best, and most accurate actions are full of imperfections. If therfore it shall have too much, or too litle; yet it will be too much for mee to sinne by murmuring. ‘Lord arme mee with patience to suffer what thou pleasest; with faith and hope to goe when thou callest; and with joy and thanks to receave what thou givest.’
part 3 The third part of the Soliloquie, administring Consolation, and comfort to a woman in the bitternesse of her travell.
THe blessed Apostle comforting the Corinthians speaketh to the soules of all the elect, 1. Cor. 10.13. when hee saith There hath noe temptation taken you, but such as is common to man: but God is faithfull, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that you are able: but will with the temptation allsu make a way to escape, that yee may be able to beare it. O gracious promise! O heavenly mercy! Bee just, ô my God, in the performance: bee speedie in my deliverance. I faint; I dye. How long Lord, how long shall I cry? These afflictions seeme to exceede the power of a mortall woman to beare, or her patience to endure. O what shall I doe? What shall I doe? I cry, Ps: 38.8 I reare for the very disquietnesse of my heart. But hath not God promised to beare my cry, and to helpe mee? Hath hee not commanded mee to call upon him in the day of trouble; Ps: 50.15. and then promised that hee will deliver mee, and I shall glorifie him? Now, ô now is the time for the fullfilling of his promise. This, this is the day of my trouble. Ps: 143.7.My spirit is waxed faint; my friends are disturbed: all eyes here pitty mee, and weepe for my sufferances; [Page 341] and grieve that they cannot ease mee. But what shall I doe? Shall I despaire of his mercy who hath promised mee deliverance? O noe; I may not; I dare not; I dare not; I will not. ps. 71.5 vers. 6. The Lord God shall be my hope: hee who hath beene my trust from my youth. By him have I beene holden up from the wombe: hee it is who tooke mee out of my mother's bowells, and may deliver mee of mine infant: my praise shall therfore be ever of him. I cannot choose but thinke that Tamar had pangs as greate as mine can be, when shee laboured of the twins. Gen: 38 27. I cannot choose but imagine that Rebekah suffered as much as I doe, c: 25.22. when Esau and Iacob struggled in her wombe. If these were freed from their paines, & delivered of their children. Why should I complaine so much of my torments, and forget what greater I have justly merited? Should I live a thousand yeeres in one continued, and most bitter throw, yet would it not be comparable to a minuit of sufferance in the infernall flames: and yet eternitie of those have I wickedly merited, allthough I feele them not. Seeing then that my God is so good as not onely to send mee here lesse torment then I deserve, but allso to assure mee of an escape from those infernall horrours, why should I repine at these lesser sufferances? Sometimes I find a comfortable intermission: my pangs are not constant, and continued: I have [Page 342] times to breath, and provide for the next. Surely hee who sometimes refresheth mee with respite, and cessation, doeth intend that in my paine I should rely upon his mercy. Is: 66.5 vers. 9. Let him therfore be glorified, and hee shall appeare to my joy. Shall hee bring to the birth, and not cause to bring forth? Shall I cause to bring forth, and shut the wombe saith the Lord God? There is comfort in his promises: there is ease in his mercy. I must wayte the time of his pleasure; and then shall I have the content which hee hath promised his chosen. My pangs may endure for a while, but they shall not continue long. 1. Tim. 2.14. This chastisement is sent to put mee in mind that Adani was not deceaved; but the woman being deceaved was in transgression. Yet to my comfort let mee likewise remember that the Apostle addeth, Notwithstanding shee shall be saved in child bearing,vers: 15if they continue in faith, and charity, and holinesse with sobriety. By child-bearing is meant the plunges which I am in, as well as the cares of education, & the rest of the dueties to which wee are obliged. Doe thou, ô my Iesus, strengthen my faith in the assurance of thy merits: renew my love and my charity both to my maker, and my neighbour: sanctifie mee, ô blessed Spirit, that I may continue in holinesse; and give mee patience, that I may endure with sobrietie and peace what I must goe thorough. The time may [Page 343] come that this child may blesse the wombe that bare it; Lue: 11 27.and these pappes which my God may spare to give suck unto it. His will must be fullfilled, and my will must submit. If hee spare mee life, I will render him thanks: If hee give mee my child, I will dedicate it to his service: but if it be his pleasure through this tribulation to end my dayes; then I know, and am assured that hee will wipe away all teares from mine eyes. Reu. 21.4. Then hee will bring mee to his heavenly throane, where shall be noe more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more paine; for the former things shall be passed away.
The Prayer.
O My Lord, and my God, my heavenly father, my mercifull Iesus; thou who hast filled my belly with thine hidden treasure; Ps. 17.14. and now hast brought mee to hope and depend, in the middest of mine anguish, upon thy wonted mercies: bow downe thine eare, and hearken to the cryes of a pained woman. Vnto thee, ô Lord, doe I crye; Ps: 142 5.thou art my refuge, and my portion in the land of the living: attend therfore unto my cry, vers: 6. Ps: 119 153. Ps: 69.29.for I am brought very low. Consider mine affliction, and deliver mee; for I doe not forget thy law. I am poore, and sorrowfull: let thy salvation, ô God, [Page 344] set mee up on high.Ps: 38.8I am feeble, and sore smitten: I roare by reason of the disquietnesse of my heart.vers: 9. 1. Tim. 4.10. Ps: 18.1 vers: 2.All my desire is before thee; and my groaning is not hid from thee. In thee I trust who art the living God; who art the saviour of all, especially of them that believe. I love thee ô Lord my strength; thou art my rock, and my fortresse; my strength in whom I trust; my buckler; the horne of my salvation, and my high tower: Ps: 7.1. Ps: 20.1 ô save mee now in this heavie visitation, and deliver thy servant. Heare mee ô Lord, in this day of trouble: thy name, ô God of Iacob, vers: 2.defend mee. Send mee helpe from thy sanctuarie, Ps: 25.16.& strengthen mee out of Sion. Turne thee unto mee, and have mercy upon mee; for I am desolate, vers: 17and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged: ô bring thou mee out of my distresses. vers: 18Looke upon mine affliction, and my paine; vers: 20and forgive all my sinnes. O keepe my soule, & deliver mee: let mee not be confounded, for I put my trust in thee. Ps: 71.1In thee alone doe I put my trust; vers. 2.let mee never be put to confusion; but deliver mee in thy righteousnesse, and cause mee to escape: incline thine eare unto mee, and save mee. Ps: 40.13.Be pleased, ô Lord, to deliver mee: ô Lord make hast to helpe mee. Give a happie end to these my torments, that I may enjoy the fruit of my wombe for which I suffer them. O Lord in mercy (if it may stand with thine eternall decree) preserve both my life, and the life of mine issue. Arme mee with patience [Page 345] to undergoe these pangs: and in the [...]nd give mee comfort in what thou shalt send mee. If otherwise thou hast determined to end my life by these heavy torments, ô my sweete and mercifull Iesus receave mee into thy bosome; that I may passe from miferie to eternall happinesse. Heare Lord, & have mercy both upon mee, and mine; and graunt my petitions for the worthinesse of that most mercifull, and most blessed sonne of a woman, thine onely begotten, Iesus Christ my Lord, and onely Saviour. Amen.
soliloquy 2 2.ly Teares of a woman after her deliverie from the paines of Childbirth. The Soliloquie.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation.
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
A Woman, Io: 16.21.when shee is in travell, hath sorrow because her hower is come: but as soone as shee is delivered of the child, she remembreth noe more her anguish for joy that a man is borne into the world. O how truely doeth my heavenly Iesus describe both his mercy, and my comfort. I who ere while was full of anguish and teares, am now with comfort brought againe to my bed. I who had allmost despaired of mercy, in the midst of my sufferances have found a deliverer. Mee think's I could weepe [Page 347] because I wept so much; and grieve because my cryes did savour of distrust. Many teares did I shed through the anguish which I suffered; but have I none left of sorrow for offending in my pangs? I will begge for pardon at the hands of him who sent mee this ease: and then I will thanke him for his bountie in sending mee this child. Prettie infant, the beginning of his cryes was the end of mine: and the beginning of his trouble was the end of my labour. O how did I long to see him whom I now embrace! How did I wish to be delivered of him whom yet againe I receave! Hee is parted from my wombe to be caried in mine armes; and he who before was the burden of my bowells, now is made the delight of mine eyes. Now with a greater comfort I hope (then the first sinner embraced the first that ever was borne) I may rejoyce, and say, I have gotten a man from the Lord. Gen: 4.1. 1. Chr: 4.9. Gen: 35.18. True it is that I might call him a Iabez, because I bare him with sorrow. I might name him Ben oni, because hee was the sonne of mine affliction, and sorrowes: but I will rather with Iacob, call him Benjamin, the sonne of my right hand. O how gratious was my God unto mee, in that hee sent mee a mid-wife to helpe mee; neighbours to comfort mee; a house to cover mee; a fire to warme mee; and now a bed to ease mee! The mother of my Lord had not an house, [Page 348] but a stable onely; Lu: 2.7 for there was noe roome in the Inne. Her holy child was layed but in a manger, whereas mine is in a cradle: yet I am wicked; I am sinfull and uncleane: yea and this babe is not borne without originall pollution. But I will begge of the Lord that (with Simeon) I may take up my Iesus in mine armes, vers: 28 or rather in my heart: and I will beseech him that as I desire to embrace him in my soule, so hee will embrace mee in the armes of his mercy. Mee think's when I remember how hardly the Israëlites were used by the Egyptians when the midwives were commanded to slay the males, Ex: 1.16. I cannot choose but tremble at the miseries of the women. It might seeme a sinne in them to desire sonnes, seeing they knew that their birth was but a stepp to their graves. Those mercifull hands which brought them into the world were commanded to be the executioners of the innocent babes. The women were to be as cruell in their murders as the King was in his commands: and yet such bloody acts were to be called executions, and not styled murders. They had a command to put in practise what was so horrid, and barbarous: whereupon they were perplexed to thinke that either they must necessarily disobey authoritie; or else destroy those who had not offended. It is true that if God had commanded [Page 349] it, the act had beene righteous. Gen. 22 2. Abraham not onely may, but must be the priest to sacrifice his sonne, his onely sonne Isaak, when God requireth it. But if God forbiddeth what man commandeth, wee must be more ready to suffer, then to obey those commands. When wee dare not doe what wee are unjustly commanded, wee must dare to suffer what shall be unjustly inflicted on us. O how grievously was Iochebed perplexed in her miseries, Ex: 2.3 when, for feare lest her Moses should be slaine according to the decree, shee was enforced to expose him to the brinke of the river! That child whom shee could noe longer hide, shee was faine to cradle up in an arke of bull-rushes. Thus shee who durst not keepe her infant, adventured upon a trade which shee never had learned: but her directour was his preserver. Surely the teares which shee shed for feare of his death, did perswade the river to carie him alive: for shee so bribed the torrent with the droppes from her eyes, that it tooke more compassion then the heart of the tyrant. One word of that King might have saved at once both her sorrowes, and her feares. Mee think's the very river might have taught him to melt for his cruelty: but where grace is wanting, every thing that should check the petulancie of sinne, doe's but give vigour to the execution thereof. There was a sorrowfull [Page 350] mother weeping for feare of the death of him who might peradventure have cost her her life: and there was a child too crying, as if it had beene either sensible of the cruelty of the salvage tyrant; or else struck with compassion for the tender mother. The cryes of both were so lowd, and so just, that they pierced the clowdes, and were heard up to heaven: and the daughter of the King was moved to save what her father in his fury did seeke to destroy. The child was found by Pharaoh's daughter; and ignorantly as well as compassionately shee put him to nurse to his indulgent mother. O what cannot God doe, when hee decreeth to act? His justice is severe and potent; Ps: 145 9. but his mercy (which is over all his workes) is full of goodnesse, and wonder. Hee who preserved Moses, hath saved this infant, and I hope hee hath chosen him for a vessell of honour. Zacharias was promised that hee should have joy and gladnesse in Iohn the Baptist. Luc. 1.14. I will hope for the like in this new-borne babe; and I will begge of my Lord that hee may be beloved of him. Him I must magnifie for the deliverance of my selfe: and him I must thanke both for the shape, & the life of my child. My wombe might have proved the grave of mine infant; and my selfe the sepulcher of a child unseene. I might have dyed in the birth of this which I embrace: and the litle infant ignorant of [Page 351] my cryes, might unwittingly have beene the destroyer of his mother. Or else I might have lived, and this child have dyed: so should the teares which I had shed through the extreamitie of my pangs, be seconded with more for the losse of my desires. In all these mercies I must looke up to my Redeemer; and acknowledg him the father, and donour of these blessings. I will therfore magnifie him for his goodnesse, and praise him for his loving-kindnesse. Ps: 106 1. I will give thankes unto the Lord, for hee is gratious, because his mercy endureth for ever.
The Prayer.
O Mercifull God, heavenly father, who hast now most especially made knowne unto mee, Eph: 3.20. that thou art able to doe exceeding aboundantly above all that wee aske, or thinke; make mee thankfully rejoyce in the worke of thy love, and thy tender mercie. Thy favours are greate and wonderfull, in sparing the life of my selfe & mine infant: in freeing mee from my pangs, and him from the darknesse of the silent wombe. Thine, ô Lord, is the power by which I am delivered: thine is the mercy by which I am safely returned unto my bed: thine is the worke of the frame and fashion of this my babe: thine [Page 352] therfore shall be likewise the glory for ever and ever. Graunt, blessed Father, that I may never sorget thy goodnesse; but expresse my thankfullnesse in my new obedience. Make mee carefull in the performance of what service I promised thee in the extreamitie of mine anguish. As thou hast given mee the fruit of my body, to the joy of my heart; so give mee the fruit of righteousnesse sowen in peace. Iam: 3.18. vers: 17 Give mee the wisedome which is from above, that is full of good workes without hypocrisie. Lord make mee thy servant by grace; and make this child thy child by adoption, and mercy. Give mee comfort in his life for the sorrowes which I endured at his birth. Gal: 1.15.Seperate him from the wombe, as thou didst Saint Paul, that hee may be a chosen vessell of sanctification, and honour. Teach mee innocency and simplicitie by the example of this infant; and make mee hereafter teach him goodnesse and righteousnesse by the power of thy grace. Make us allways children in wickednesse, 1. Cor. 14.20. 1. Pet: 2.2. Gal: 4.19. but not in understanding; that so, as new borne babes, wee may desire the sincere milke of thy word, that wee may grow thereby. Let thy sonne Christ be formed in this litle infant that as it hath beene preserved by thy power and providence in the first birth, so it may feele thy mercy and grace in the second. Lord give a blessing to whatsoëver shall be used for the recovery of my strength, [Page 353] that I may allways praise thee both in prosperitie and adversitie. Give thy blessing to the meanes for the nourishment of this child. Give it strength that it may live to receave the seale of thy mercy in the laver of Baptisme: and doe thou be present with thy blessing when the signe shall be administred. Lu: 2.52. O let it live (if it be thy blessed will) and grow up in wisedome, and in stature, and in grace both with thee, and with men; that so I may magnifie thy name for making mee an instrument to propagate the number of thine elect, who am the weakest, and the unworthiest of women. Increase thy Kingdome da [...]ly. Take pittie upon all that suffer afflictions, especially on those women who are in labour of children. Give them comfort in the time of their miseries, ease from their torments, joy in their desired issue, and thankfullnesse for thy blessings. Lord graunt that both I & they may sing praises to thy name for the greatnesse of our deliverances, and expresse our thanks in our godly lives; that when this painfull life shall have an end, wee may sing tryumphantly in eternall glory, through Iesus Christ our onely Lord, and Saviour. Amen.
13. THE THIRTEENTH SUBJECT. Teares in the time of a generall Pestilence.
The Soliloquie. Consisting of sixe severall parts, and treating of, • 1 Mourning by example, in a publike calamitie. , • 2 Severall causes of God's visitations. , • 3 Sinne especially the cause of the Pestilence. , • 4 Severall examples of dreadfull Pestilences. , • 5 God's threatning before his visitation. , and • 6 The duety of a Christian, decreeing both to whom, and for whom wee ought to pray in the time of Pestilence.
The first part of the Soliloquie, treating, of mourning by example, in a publike calamitie.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, ô Lord; consider my meditation.
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
THe heart of the wise is in the house of mourning: Eccl: 7.4. (saith Solomon) but the heart [Page 355] of fooles is in the house of mirth. Is the heart then, sometimes in a pilgrimage from the body? Or is the body required to visit the sick, yea though the disease be infectious? Or are wee allways, by command, Ps: 42.3 to imitate the Prophet, whose teares were his meate day and night? The heart indeede is often from home; and is least where it liveth, most where it loveth. The sick must be visited, or else my Saviour will complaine as hee doth in the Gospel, saying, I was sick, Mat: 25 43. Iob: 2.11.and yee visited mee not. When Iob's three friends heard of the evill that was come upon him, they came every one from his owne place; for they had made an appointment together to come to mourne with him, and to comfort him. vers: 13So they sate downe with him upon the ground, 2. King. 13.14.and mourned seaven dayes and seaven nights. When Elisha was fallen sick of his sicknesse wherewith hee dyed, Ioash the King of Israël came downe unto him, and wept over his face, and said, O my father, my father, the charet of Israel, and the horse-men thereof. c: 8.29. When wicked King Ioram went to be healed in Iezreel of the wounds which the Syrians had given him at Ramah, Ahaziah the sonne of heboram King of Iudah went downe to see him in Iezreel, because hee was sick. Thus doe I reade of a holy Patient visited by friendly mourners: a holy Prophet visited by a weeping King: a wicked King visited by another as wicked as himselfe. All these [Page 356] were visiters, or visited: but I doe not find that the diseases were infectious. Noe: I must therfore imitate the best of them in my charitie to others; but I may not forget charity to my selfe. Willfully to runne into apparent danger is desperately to tempt the keeper of Israel. What shall I then doe? The passing bells informe mine eares of the mortalitie of my neighbours; & yet I cannot, I must not visit them. What (I say) shall I doe? What course shall I take? Charitie commandeth mee, compassion hasteneth mee to the dying Christians, that by my advice, or at least by my prayers I might expresse my commiseration. And yet, when I am just at my doore provided, resolved, intended to goe, even then mine owne health, the health of my familie, and (which is greater them all these) the feare of displeasing my gratious protectour bring mee back againe, and keepe mee at home. I would not be un-charitable; but I must not be desperate. Well then: I am resolved what I will doe. I will (with Solomon) goe to the houses of mourning, the houses of the visited; yet not in body, but in mind, and in purse; I will pittie them, and I will send reliefe unto them. I dare not goe in person, but I will goe in affection; and for my neighbours groaning under the evill of punishment, and for my selfe burdened with the evill [Page 357] of sinne, I will feede upon my teares day and night. I must grieve for my selfe in particular; and yet I must not be so unkindly coveteous, as to keepe my teares onely for my selfe. In publike calamities those who shed noe teares may be justly suspected to have noe bowells. I find my selfe not un-apt to weepe; for I am prompted to that by the weakenesse of my disposition. And yet I suspect my selfe; I am jealous of my selfe that my teares doe rather flow from my feare of infection, then from a fellowfeeling of the miseries which the infected suffer. To heighten therfore my mourning, and to justifie it by my compassion, I will propose to my selfe the examples of others, such as I find recorded in the word of my God.
example 1 When the destruction of the Iewes was neere at hand, the Lord called upon them by the mouth of his Prophet, saying, Consider yee, Ier: 9.17.and call for the mourning women that they may come; and send for cunning women that they may come: And let them make hast, vers: 18and take up a wayling for us, that our eyes may runne downe with teares, and our eye-lids gush out with waters: vers: 19for a voyce of wayling is heard out of Zion, How are wee spoyled, &c. The women were commanded to heare the word of the Lord; vers: 20and their eares to receave the word of his mouth: they were to teach their [Page 358] daughters wayling; and every one her neighbour lamentation:vers. 21For death was come up into their windowes, and entered into their pallaces; to cutt off the children from without, and the young men from their streetes. vers. 22Even the carkeises of men did fall as dung upon the field, and as the handfull after the harvest-man; and none did gather them. The case is now with us, as it was then with the Iewes. Alasse, how are wee spoyled too! How is death come up into our windowes by the infectious aire! How doe our children dye, and our young men fall! Our children which know not the cause; and our young men that trusted in the strength of their youth! O how doe the carkeises of men fall as dung upon the open field, & as the hand-full after the harvest man; and yet there are none to gather them up! They perish without, because either there is not roome enough left with in doores for them; or not people alive to attend them in their sicknesse; or not people of strength enough to un-lock the doores; or not meanes for their sustenance if they enter in. Thus necessitie driveth them into the fields; and there mortalitie seizeth upon them, where noe person is found to burie their bodies; noe bearers to carie them to the surfeited earth; noe friends to bewayle the losse of their lives; and noe Christians to cover them from their gazing spectatours, the verie fowles of the aire, and the beastes of the field. [Page 359] What heart would not breake; what eye would not weepe; what soule would not lament for this sad visitation? Lam: 1.16. For these things (with Ieremiah) will I weepe: mine eye, mine eye shall runne downe with water; because the comforter which should relieve our soules, is farre from us.
example 2 The Lord hath throwne downe Ierusalem (saith the Prophet) and hath not pittied; Lam: 2.17.and hee hath caused their enemie to rejoyce over them; hee hath sett up the horne of their adversarie. vers: 18Their heart cryed unto the Lord, O wall of the daughter of Zion, let teares runne downe like a river day and night: give thy selfe noe rest; let not the apples of thine eyes cease. Arise, vers: 19cry out in the night: in the beginning of the watches powre out thine heart like water before the face of the Lord: lift up thy hands towards him, for the life of thy young children that faint in the topp of every streate. vers: 1. Even thus hath the Lord covered us allso with a clowde in his anger, as then hee did the daughter of Zion; and cast downe from heaven unto the earth the beautie of our Israël; and remembred not his foote stoole in the day of his anger. An enemie destroyeth, and rejoyceth over us: but such an enemie it is, as neither can heare, nor will spare. The verie aire which was created to coole the flames of our scorching hearts, is so poisoned with the infection, that the more wee make of it, the lesse wee our selves are made by it: the closer [Page 360] wee seate it even to and in our hearts, the neerer doth the infection approach our spirits. The corrupted aire shall be therfore cleansed by the thick groanes that shall flye from my heavy heart; and be purified with the thunder of my lowdest cryes. With Moab in the prophesie, Is: 15.2 vers: 3. I will howle over Nebo, and over Medeba In the streetes let every one gird himselfe with sack-cloth: on all their heads let there be baldnesse: on the toppes of our houses, and in our streetes let every one howle, [...]er. 48.4.weeping aboundantly; for wee are destroyed; for our litle ones have caused a cry to be heard. Oh our sucklings that cry for milke from the breast, suck in destruction when they expect their nourishment. For these things (with Ierusalem) I will weepe sore in the night (in this night of a generall affliction): Lam: 1.2. my teares shall be on my cheekes, because among all our lovers there is none to comfort us.
example 3 At the finall desolation of the house of Israël, Eze: 7.16. the Prophet tould them that, They that fled away of them should escape, and should be on the mountaines like Doves of the valleys, all of them mourning, every one for his iniquitie: All hands should be feeble, vers: 17and all knees should be weake as water: vers: 18They should allso gird themselves with sack-cloth and horrour should cover them; and shame should be upon all their faces, and baldnesse upon their heads. Lord, what a time of mourning should here be! [Page 361] What a time of horrour! Destruction is threatned; and whom destruction missed, mourning should over-take, feeblenesse should follow, weakenesse should pursue, & horrour should cover. Oh, that verie time is come now upon us: that prophesie is fullfilled in our Israel. Here is noe sword to slay us; noe fierie engines of a hellish invention to murder us; noe men to take us captives: but here is worse, farre worse; here is the Pestilence that walketh in darknesse, Ps: 91.6and the destruction that wasteth at noone-day. Here are houses not inhabited; streetes not trampled; churches not frequented, sick not visited, hungrie not fed, dores not opened, bells not ceased, and graves not satisfied. Is: 24.10. Prov [...] 30.15. Every house is shut up, that noe man may come in. The horse-leech hath here her two daughters crying give, give. Here are three things not satisfied; yea fowre things that say not It is enough. The hungrie cry give, and the thirstie cry give, and the sick cry give, and the grave cryeth give. The hungrie pine, and therfore cry; the thirstie skorch, and therfore cry; the sick want helpe, and therfore cry; but, ô, the grave is dayly fed, and yet it is dayly hungrie. The mouth thereof is opened, and it devoureth men; and yet for all that, it still cryeth for our returne to the dust as wee were. Eccl: 12.7. The mountaines the greate persons escape not: the habitations of men are like the wildernesses for beastes, because the inhabitants are burnt up [Page 362] with the fiery Pestilence. Therfore (with the Prophet) for the mountaines will I take up a weeping, Ier: 9.10.and wayling; and for the habitations of the wildernesse a lamentation; because they are burnt up that none can passe thorow them; neither can men heare the voyce of the cattell.
example 4 The house of Israël was commanded to seeke the Lord: Amos. 5.4. vers: 5. but they on the contrarie are sayd to have sought Bethel, and to have entered into Gilgal, and to have passed to Beersheba:vers: 16Therfore the Lord, the Lord of hosts, the Lord said thus: Wayling shall be in all streetes, and they shall say in all high wayes, Alas, Alas: and they shall call the husband-man to mourning, and such as are skillfull of lamentation to wayling:vers: 17and in all vine-yards shall be wayling, for I will passe thorow thee, saith the Lord. Here is againe a clowde of sorrowes; a thick mist of groanes; vers: 18 for the day of the Lord is darkenesse, and not light. This clowde overcasteth us too; this mist choaketh us; this darkenesse blindeth us. Here is wayling in our streetes, to dimme our eyes; here is the husband-man mourning, to stifle us with sorrow; and here is the mourning of the vineyards, Ps: 104.15. to clowde our soules. Our hearts, which should have beene gladded with the fruite of the vine, are squeezed and pressed like the bunches of grapes. Our bellies, which should have beene filled with the fruits of the earth, doe cry in their emptinesse, and [Page 363] wayle with the husband-man. One woe courteth another: one curse saluteth another. Our sicknesse is greate, and yet our famine too is greate; not that the earth hath forgotten to be fertile, but by reason that men are afraid to furnish us. Pestilence consumeth, and hunger cryeth: thus the visited dye they know not of what; for sicknesse calleth, and hunger calleth, and want calleth, and sorrow calleth: all of them joyne in their hideous concord, in their horrid discord, and call for our ruine, and yell for our destruction. That heart which bleedeth not for such un-utterable sorrow, must needes be stone, or steele: nay worse; for stones will weepe, to complaine with the clowdes; and steele will droppe in a time of stormes. Heart, if thou art a woman's, breake; if thou art a Christian's, lament; if thou art mine, bemoane the afflictions which dwell among my friends, Ioel: 2.6. and the blacknesse which the faces of my neighbours have gathered. Ps: 35.13. I will (with David) put on sack-cloth now, though for my very enemies which are sick; and humble my soule with fasting: and I will goe heavily, vers: 14as one that mourneth for his mother. With the Prophet Isaiah, Is: 16.9 I will bewaile with the weeping of Iazer the vine of Shibmah: I will water thee with my teares, ô Heshbon, and Elealeh. Or with Ieremiah, Let mine eyes runne downe with teares night and day, and let them not cease; Ier: 14.17.for the virgindaughter [Page 364] of this people is broken with a greate breach, with a very grievous blow.
example 5 The Prophet Ezekiel telleth the Israëlites that The time is come; Eze: 7.12.the day draweth neere: let not the buyer rejoyce, nor the seller mourne; for wrath is come upon all the multitude thereof. vers: 27The King shall mourne, and the Prince shall be cloathed with desolation; and the hands of the people of the land shall be troubled. O Israel, how greate were thy pangs, when thus thou wert visited! O how deepe are our groanes too in this day of our visitation! The Israelites are dead; their torments are forgotten: but wee live; wee live dying; wee live to suffer; wee live to dye. To dye, sayd I? O that death were sweete indeede, if it would come with a wish; if it would hastē it's approach: it were sweeter then the hony, Ps: 19.10.& the honiecombe. What was formerly our dread, is now our desire. What wee posted from, wee would now hasten unto, could but Death yet grow so pittiefull, so mercifull as to heare our desires. But wee cannot either dye when wee would, or how wee would. Wee may not chuse either the time, or the manner of our death. See, See, how it stare's us in the face; and looke's upon us in every passengar that crawleth by our doores; in every coffin that is caried by our windowes. Dye wee must; but of what disease? By what meanes? If of age, 'tis wellcome: if of a consumption, 'tis kind. But what if of the Plague? [Page 365] What if of the Pestilence? Woe unto us, there is our feare; thence is our trembling. If that arrow be shot at us, wee shall have noe preacher to pray by us, or to administer ghostly consolation unto us; noe friend to visit us; yea and, it may be, neither physick to helpe us, nor meate to strengthen us, noe nor servant to attend us. Wee may call, but none will dare approach to answer us: wee may weepe, but none will dare come to comfort us. This, this day is come upon us. The buyer rejoyceth not, fearing lest with his bargaine hee purchase a disease. The seller mourneth not, hoping that though hee loose by his bargaine, yet his monie will furnish him with things for necessitie. Thus the wrath of God is come upon us: wee are cleathed with desolation. This I feele; and yet I feele it not: I heare of it; but it cometh not yet upon mee: it walketh by my doores; it beckeneth to mee in the streetes; it knocketh at my habitation; and yet, for all this (blessed be my God) it is not yet entered. But who knoweth how soone that affrighting disease may force open my doore; or creepe in at my window; or peepe in at a key hole; or slinke in at a crevise? The disease is generall; but my sorrowes shall be therfore as generall. All others shall not weepe, and my selfe alone rejoyce. Ioel. 1.9. The meate-offering and the drinke-offering (the participation of [Page 366] the holy Communion) through feare is cut off from the house of the Lord: the Priests, the Lord's Ministers doe mourne. Hos: 4.3.The land mourneth, and every one that dwelleth therein languisheth; with the beastes of the field, and with the fowles of the heavens. Therfore (with Ez [...]) I will goe into the chamber; Ezr: 10 6.and when I am come thither, I will eate noe bread, nor drinke water; for I will mourne, because of the transgressions of us all. Or (with Nehemiah) I will sitt downe and weepe, Neh: 1.4.and mourne certaine dayes; and fast, and pray before the God of heaven.
example 6 The Lord God of hosts did threaten to touch the land of Israel, Amos. 9.5. and it should melt, and all that dwelled therein should mourne; and it should rise up wholly like a flood, and be drowned as by the flood of Egypt. Thus hath hee threatned us allso; and hath hee not brought it to passe? See, Ps: 97.5 See how the land melteth; yea melteth like waxe at the presence of the Lord; at the presence of the God of the whole earth. Needes must the land, (the hearts of the inhabitants of the land) melt at his presence, seeing the Apostle styleth him a consuming fire. Heb: 12 29. O how all doe mourne that dwell in the land! The parents lament the sicknesse of the child; the wife of the husband; the servant of the mistresse: all mourne, all lament. It may now be truely sayd that the whole land is drowned: for, what eye is not dimmed with teares? What house is not filled with teares? [Page 367] What streete is not washed with teares? If he saltnesse of water will cause a barrennesse of the earth, what fruite can possible our land produce, which is thus moistened, thus watered with the brine of our teares? And yet, mee think's, the earth appeareth as greedie as ever; for it speedily devoureth whatsoever is sprinkeled on it by the sorrowes of the inhabitants. The infected cry, and the languishing cry: and shall not my teares much rather trickle downe my cheekes, allthough my doore is not yet converted into pasture; nor my walkes overgrowne with the springing grasse? O yes, much, much rather: yea and with the more courage will I weepe, by how much the more I retaine my strength to weepe. I heare, Ier: 4.31. mee thinke's the voyces of the visited as of a woman in travell; and their anguish as of her that bringeth forth her first child, bewayling themselves, and spreading their hands, and each of them saying, woe is mee now, for my soule is wearied because of this murdering sicknesse. Is: 22.4 Therefore will I take up the resolution of the Prophet Isaiah; and whosoever shall come to divert my teares, to them I will say, Looke away from mee; I will weepe bitterly: labour not to comfort mee. Or (with Ieremiah) my soule shall weepe in secret places, Ier: 13.17. for their paines; and mine eye shall weepe sore, and runne downe with teares; because the Lord's flock is thus destroyed.
The Second part of the Soliloquie, treating of Severall causes of God's visitations.
I Mourne, and I mourne; and all out of a sense of the generall sufferance: I mourne and I mourne by president: But doe I find the cause of our distresses? The ground of our sicknesses? Pestilence is not the onely arrow that is shot from the All-mighty, when his revenge is stirred up: and yet every punishment is termed a stroake a stripe, a plague. When the Lord intended the spoyle of the Egyptians by the children of Israel, that which in others would have beene deemed theft, or at the least a cozenage, was in the Israelites but justice, and done in obedience to him who is Lord of all, Ex. 12.36. when they spoyled the Egyptians of their jewells, which yet they but borrowed. vers. 35 And yet this to the lenders is termed a plague; for the Lord said unto Moses, Yet will I bring one plague more upon Pharaoh, c. 11.1.and upon Egypt; afterwards hee will let you goe hence. When the firstborne of Egypt were decreed to be slaine for the stubbornesse of the King, the execution of that decree was styled a plague: for God tould the Israelites by his servant Moses, c. 12.13. saying, The blood shall be to you for a token [Page 369] upon the houses where yee are; and when I see the blood, I will passe over you; and the plague shall not bee upon you to destroy you, when I smite the land of Egypt. When the children of Israel had longed after the flesh-pots of Egypt, and cryed, and murmured against Moses and Aaron, saying, c. 16.3. Would to God wee had dyed by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when wee sate by the flesh-pots, and when wee did eate bread to the full; for yee have brought us forth into this wildernesse to kill this whole assembly with hunger: then (I find) the Lord was intreated for flesh; but that flesh proved the destruction of the people, and that destruction is called a plague. For, Num. 11.33. while the Quailes were yet betweene their teeth (saith the text) yere the flesh was chewed, the wrath of the Lord was kindled against the people; and the Lord smote the people with a very greate plague. Consumption is allso sayd to be a plague; for so saith the Prophet. Zech. 14.12. This shall be the plague wherewith the Lord will smite all the people that have fought against Ierusalem: Their flesh shall confume away while they stand upon their feete; and their eyes shall consume away in their holes; and their tongue shall consume away in their mouth. Thus every judgment is truely a plague; and from God it cometh; and upon men, weake men, mortall men [Page 370] and women it cometh: but it is for their sinnes; it is for their transgressions. Every one groane's under the affliction; but few for the cause. Wee are angrie with the rodde, and wee are angrie with the Correctour; and yet wee quarrell not with our selves for meriting such, yea more, yea greater, yea more tormenting, more continueing punishments. I will therfore looke into the sacred page yet once againe: I will looke into the roll of that booke, Eze: 2.9. and (with Ezekiel) I will spread it before mee, and find written therein the Lamentations, vers: 10and mournings and woes. I will find the punishments, and I will find out the offences too. I will mourne with them, with us, with every one that is visited: & with them, & for our selves I will prye into the causes of our maladies, seing I know that God will not be angry without a cause. Ps: 89.30. Wee doe first forsake his lawes, and walke not in his judgments; wee first prophane his statutes, vers. 31and breake his commandements; vers. 32 before hee visiteth our transgression with the rodde, and our iniquity with stripes.
example 1 Wherfore did the Prophet Ieremiah cry out, Ier: 23.9. and say, Mine heart within mee is broken; all my bones shake: I am like a drunken man, and like a man whom wine hath over-come, because of the Lord, because of the word of his holinesse? Here I find the Prophet in a strange and fervent passion, in a trembling exstasie: [Page 371] yet not too greate if I consider the cause, if I weigh the verse that immediately ensueth: For the land (saith hee) is full of adulterers: vers: 10.for because of swearing (or cursing) the land mourneth; the pleasant places of the wildernesse are dryed up; and their course is evill, and their force is not right. Was Ierusalem thus visited for swearing, and cursing? Was Samaria thus burnt up with drought for adulterie? Lord what then hath not this land deserved? An oath in every tongue causeth a crosse upon every doore. Vncleanenesse in every person causeth the fowlest sores in every patient. The sinns are universall, the punisbment must needes therfore be as universall. The punishment is become generall; ô that our sorrow would grow as generall. This disease may be cured by lotion: For my part therfore I will be the first that shall steppe into Bethesda, Io: 5.2. for I have layne the longest in my sinnes: long have I allso wayted for the salvation of my God. I will imitate the Prophet Ieremiah, and cry out with him, and as truely as hee, Mine heart is broken.
example 2 Why did the Prophet Micah resolve to Wayle, and to howle; to goe stript, and naked; Mic: 2.8.to make a wayling like the Dragons, and mourning as the Owles? vers: 3. Was it not because the Lord was comeing forth out of his place; comeing downe to tread upon the high places of the earth? Was it not because the mountaines should be vers: 4. [Page 372] molten under him, and the valleys be cleft, as waxe before the fire, and as the waters that are powred downe a steepe place? Here was destruction for Samaria, and ruine for Ierusalem; vers. 5. but all this was for the transgression of Iacob, and for the sinnes of the house of Israel. The graven images were the sinnes of the people: idolatrie incensed the wrath of the All mighty. Well might hee punish, when the worke of men's hands robbed him of his honour whose worke-man-ship wee are. Well might hee resolve to be knowne the mighty God in his revenge, whom they would not acknowledge to be God when hee forbore them. But is it not just so with us as it was with them? vers: 5. Is not Samaria the sinne of Is not Samaria the sinne of our Iacob? Are not the high places of Iudah our Ierusalem? Here is wrath, and wrath, and plague, and plague; but is not idolatrie still in our gates? The God of the Patriarch saith unto us, Gen. 35.2. as Iacob did unto his house-hould, and to all that were with him, Put away the strange gods that are among you. If therfore wee have still a noise of the beades; of the chaplets pretended to be consecrated at Rome: if wee have pictures worshipped; crucifixes adored; prayers not understood; and other footesteps of the heathen remaining amongst us; I cannot choose but remember what our incensed Creatour saith by his Prophet concerning [Page 373] the sinnes of the Iewes, Ier. 9.9 Shall I not visit them for these things, saith the Lord? Shall not my soule be avenged on such a nation as this? Lord where thou art not truely worshipped, thou wilt be dreadfully feared. Though this sinne be not generall, though not universall amongst us; is it not to be found in private? Doeth it not lurke in private closetts? Is it not harboured in some secret hearts? Io: 3.30 It hateth the light because it is not the trueth: but yet our sinnes may multiply in the darke, untill they have brought us to the land of darkenesse. O that (with Iacob) wee would all arise, Gen: 35.3.and goe up to Bethel, and make there an alter unto our God; then wee know, hee would answer us in our distresse. This is our plague, this is our punishment which now doeth rage amongst us: and is not that our sinne? Is not that our iniquitie? What remaineth but that (so farre as lyeth in mee) I should strive to appease the wrath of my God? I will therfore endeavour to blunt his arrow, that it may stick noe more when hee shooteth it at us. I will pray unto him to remove at once both the sinne, and the punishment. I will doe as did Micah: I will wayle, and howle: I will wayle like the Dragons, and mourne like the Owles.
example 3 When Ezra had confessed the sinne of the people, weeping, Ezra: 10.1.and casting himselfe downe [Page 374] before the house of God, there assembled unto him out of Israël a very greate congregation of men, and women, and children; and the people wept very sore. What ayled the Priest to cast himselfe downe; and the people so sorely to weepe? were they not come out of captivitie? Were they not busied in reedifying the house of the Lord? Were not their burnt offerings, and their sacrifices made unto the God of Israël? What now should deject them? What should dismay them? The Lord questioneth Cain the murderer, Gen: 4.6. the fratricide, saying, Why is thy countenance fallen? If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? vers: 7.And if thou doest not well, sinne lyeth at the doore. Thus might Iudah and Benjamin be likewise examined. They had a sinne that lay at the doore; yea neerer, cl [...]ser to them if possible might be; even in their beds, Ezr: 9.1. in their bosomes. They had not seperated themselves from the people of the lands, and from doeing according to their abominations: but they had taken of their daughters for themselves,vers. 2.and for their sonnes: yea the hand of the Princes, and rulers had beene chiefe in this trespasse. Yet for all this, their punishment was not hitherto come upon them to the full. They had yet but a sprinkeling of it: onely some droppes: or at most but a gust, a small storme; a shewer or two of raine. When the Lord was angry, the clowdes frowned; they knitt their browes; and as it were in the [Page 375] aboundance of their compassion, c: 10.9. they dissolved into teares for the sinnes of the people. But more vengeance was expected; therfore the children of the captivitie turned away their wives, vers. 14 that the fierce wrath of God for this matter might be turned from them. If such a sinne as this be the cause of this our dreadfull visitation, wee ought allso (with them) to sit in the streete of the house of God, trembling, vers. 9.because of this matter. Whether this, or whatsoëver else is the cause of this contagion, the sinne of this land; for my part I will resolve (with the same Ezra) to sit astonied at the sinnes of the land; c: 9.4. and (with the people) I will tremble at the words of the God of Israël, because of the transgressions of the people of this land. I will not arise from my heavinesse; vers. 5. Ioël. 2.13. But I will rent my garment; or rather my heart, and not my garment; and turne unto the Lord my God: for hee is gracious, and mercifull; slow to anger, and of great kindnesse; and repenteth him of the evill. I will fall upon my knees, Ezr. 9.5.and spread out my hands unto the Lord my God.
example 4 Zion was threatned that her gates should lament, and mourne; and that she being desolate, Is. 3.26should sit on the ground. Here was the punishment; a grievous punishment: desolation by warre; destruction by the sword. vers: 25 Her men should fall by the sword, and her mighty men in the warre. But what was the cause? What stirred up the All-mighty to shewer downe [Page 376] his vengeance? Alas, it is too easily found. The pride of the woman was the destruction of the men. vers. 16 It was because the daughters of Zion were haughty, and walked with stretched-out necks, and wanton eyes; walking, and mincing as they went, and making a tinkling with their feete. Wee are punished; wee are afflicted; not by the sword, but (which is more dreadfull) by the Pestilence. Our sufferances are not in the same manner indeede as were theirs; and yet wee deserve both the manner, and the measure. Our sinnes are alike; our punishments must therfore be expected alike; alike in the greatnesse, though they are not in the kind. They seeme (mee think's) allready to agree in part; for, besides our sicknesses, Mat: 24 6. wee heare of warres, and rumours of wars. Yea, they come yet neerer alike: Is: 3.17 for they were threatned that the Lord should smite them with a scab on the crowne of the head of the daughters of Zion: and this very judgment appeareth among us in every blaine, in every botch, in every carbuncle. Surely our sinnes are as greate, or greater then theirs. The pride of our sexe in their dresses, in their laces, in their jewells, in their fashions, in their gaites, in their behaviours, in their attendants, in every thing is greater then Zion's, The effects of pride, [Page 377] their lascivious embracings, their amorous [...]urtings are commoner, are frequenter then Zion's. vers. 18 Lord is it not just with thee then, to take away from us (as thou didest [...]om Zion) the braverie of our tinkling [...]naments, and our tyres, and our chaines,vers. 19 vers: 21 vers. 22 vers. 23and our bracelets, and our rings, and our changeable suits of apparell, and our man [...]les, and our glasses, and our fine linnen, and our hoods, and our vailes? Wee may most justly indeede expect a stinke, vers. 24insteed of a sweete smell; and instead of a girdle a [...]ent; and instead of well-set haire, bald [...]esse; and instead of a stomacher, a girdle of sack-cloth; and burning, instead of beauty. For us the land mourneth; for our pride he people are humbled; for our sinnes the Pestilence reigneth. Lord make us all, with Zion, lament and mourne: make us fit on the ground, acknowledging thy justice, and our sinfullnesse. Eze. 31 15. God hath come downe to the grave among us, as hee did at the destruction of Assyria for the pride thereof; and caused Libanon to mourne for us; and the trees of the field to faint for us: therfore, with Zion, I will lament, I will mourne, I will sit on the ground.
example 5 A voyce was once heard from the high places of Israël, Ier: 3.21.weeping and supplications of the people; because they had perverted their [Page 378] way, they had forgotten the Lord their God. Here was sorrow at the heart for the sinne of the soule; and yet noe destruction of the body threatned for disobedience. Had they continued in this their repentance they might have prevented the ensueing judgments: but intermission of sorrow proved to be the ground of their sorrow. Hence came the [...] land to be cursed with barrennesse and the Prophet to cry out, c: 12.4. How long shall the land mourne, and the herbes of every field wither, for the wickednesse of them that dwell therein [...] Here wickednesse was the cause, and barrenness [...] the effect. But why should the herbes and flowers of the field suffer for the sinnes of the people? Alas they grew up towards heaven in their gratefull acknowledgment that from thence they receaved their nourishment in the earth. Yea so innocent they were, that when they looked about them, and saw (as it were) the wickednesse of them for whose service they were made, every morning hung pearlie teares upon their drooping eyes: and when they saw that men had not halfe so much remorse as they themselves, they sadly shrunke to bed againe in the earth. It was a curse to them to be enslaved in the service of cursed sinnes: so poisonous is transgression; so mischievous is iniquitie. Thus the herbes were cursed for the sinnes of the Iewes: but what had the Iewes done amisse, [Page 379] which wee have not exceeded? What wickednesse had they committed which wee have not surpassed? Therfore our herbes and our flowers, the beauty of our gardens and the pride of our knotts is nipped, is withered with the poisonous breath that ariseth from our infected bodies: and yet wee feare that what wee dispatched the aire to kill in our gardens will bring poison to us, and slay us in our houses. Thus wee suffer; for, thus have wee finned. I will therfore resolve with the Prophet David, Ps: 119 136. that Rivers of waters shall runne downe mine eyes, because wee have not kept the [...]aw of our God.
example 6 Shall not the land tremble for this, Amos. 8.8.and every [...]e mourne that dwelleth therein? Saith the Prophet Amos. Tremble? For what? Israël knew well enough; the poore were sensible enough; vers. 6. even the poore that were bought for silver, and the needy that were sould for a paire of shooes. Here was oppression in the streetes, and crying in the gates; vers. 5. for the Ephah was made small, and the Shekel greate; and the ballances were falsified by deceit. Noe marveile that the Psalmist concludeth, Ps. 62.9. Surely men of low degree are vanitie, and men of high degree are a lye: to be layed in the ballance they are alltogether lighter then vanitie. It was thus among the Israelites; and thus it is among us allso. Men of low degree are vanitie; vanitie in the account, and contempt of superiours? vanitie [Page 380] in the cruelty of superiours. Men of high degree, the richest traders, the merchants of corne and the other fruits of the earth are a lye: their measures are false, the [...] weights are false: yea they buy by one, and they sell by another. They devoure their brethren, and yet they doe it by a [...] shew of Iustice; for the ballances they haw corrupted, and the weights they have pared insomuch as men erre most, they are most deceaved when they thinke themselves most righted, best dealt with. This injustie commandeth us justly to mourne: so the belly cryeth, and the back cryeth. The hungrie cry when they buy of the rich, and are cozened by the rich: when they suffer in the cozenage, and suffer likewise in the publike, in the generall punishment for the cozenage. For this our land mourneth: for this our people are visited, our houses are shut up, our streetes are not frequented, ou [...] markets not filled; and yet the hungry lament, and the thirstie doe mourne. The poore can neither buy for their money; not be imployed in their willing labours to earne them money; Is. 59.11. nor live without money. Wee roare all like Beares, and mourne sore like Doves. Wee looke for judgment, but there is none: for salvatien, but it is farre from us. Therfore with the oppressed I will cry, and with the visited allso I will cry. I will cry with [Page 381] the oppressed for right; and I will cry with [...]e visited for health. How long, Lord, [...]ow long wilt thou punish us? c. 44.22. O remove [...]ur sinnes like a cloude: blott out, as a thick cloude, our transgressions, and as a cloude our sinnes: returne unto us, for thou hast redeemed us.
part 3 The Third part of the Soliloquie, shewing, that Sinne especially is the cause of the Pestilence.
THe diseased (ignorant of the kind of their maladies) cause the Phisitian [...] consult with their pulses; to examine their [...]rine; and by symptomes to find out the [...]ause of their disturbance. So should the sick soule allso; or else the ignorance of the sinne may hinder the cure. Generall complaints have beene made by men groaning under the burdens of severall visitations: but doeth the Pestilance come by the same rules, and arise from the same causes? Surfeits, and Consumptions, and Feavers, and Palsies, and Plurisies, and other such sicknesses may have their causes in nature, and their remedies oftentimes by physick: but neither is the cause of the Pestilence so cleere in nature; [Page 382] nor is the cure thereof so easie by physick. Or if it be; yet is this disease more infectious, more mortall, and therfore more dreadfull then any of the rest. It shall therfore be my first care to find out the cause in my soule, before I looke upon the effects thereof in the bodies of sinfull mortalls. I will examine our times by those of our ancestours; and see whether this generall contagion doeth not rather proceede from the mallice of the soule, then from the aire dyet, or whatsoever else the Phisitians conjecture at.
The men which Moses had sent to spie out the land of Canaan returned, 1. Num: 14.36.and made all the congregation to murmur against Moses, by bringing up a slaunder upon that land of promise: & those very men that did bring up that evill report upon the land, vers. 37dyed of the plague before the Lord. What? Of the plague? Of the Pestilence? There were but ten of those spies, and those ten onely dyed. Wee have the Pestilence too; but it contenteth not it selfe with ten, & ten, and ten, and ten; but hundreds dye; hundreds are visited; thousands complaine; every one feareth. But was their disease the same as ours? Was not theirs an inflammation of their tongues, and wormes issueing out of them, as a just recompense [...], because with their tongues they had lyed? Or was it not some other extraordinarie plague from the hand of God? Or was it not that Pestilence which [Page 383] was threatned when the Lord said unto Moses, vers. 11How long will this people provoke mee; and how long will it be ere they believe mee, for all the signes which I have shewed among them? vers. 12I will smite them with the Pestilence, and disinherit them; and will make of thee a greater nation, & mightier then they? Whatsoever their disease was, though I cannot determine it; yet will I consider the cause thereof. The cause was a sinne, a grievous sinne; a lye: and the effect of this was a sinne, a grievous sinne; it was murmuring. O thus have wee allso added sinnes unto sinnes. Wee allso lye; wee lye grievously, desperately, impudently. Like unto Iob's friends, wee are forgers of lyes; Iob. 13.4. Ps. 40.4 Ps. 58.3 Ps. 62.4 Eze. 24 12. Hos. 10 13. wee turne aside to lyes: wee goe astray so soone as wee be borne, and speake lyes: wee delight in lyes: and wee have wearied our selves with lyes: justly therfore now doe wee eate the fruit of lyes. And yet, not contented with this, wee murmur too. Against our superiours wee murmur, for not governing us according to our licentious, and sinfull desires: against the rich wee murmur, because wee floate not in their plentie: yea even against God himselfe wee murmur, because hee graunteth not our sinfull desires. Thus in every thought, and in every word wee either find a sinne, or make a sinne. For this our lying, for this our murmuring wee are now visited; wee are now stricken; wee are (as [Page 384] those spies were) destroyed of the destroyer. 1. Cor. 10.10.
The rebellious Israëlites were threatned by Moses that Every sicknesse, 2. Deut. 28.61.every plague which was not written in the booke of the law, them should the Lord bring upon them, untill they were destroyed: vers 62 And they should be left few in number, whereas they were as the starres of heaven for multitude. These were the menaces, these were the threats to the children of Israël: but among all these sicknesses, where is that which reigneth among us? Hath God prepared a new punishment for us, such as the Israëlites never suffered, nor the law ever mentioned, nor skill ever cured? Doubtlesse thus God could afflict us; but hee chuseth rather to punish us as hee did others, that so wee might find out the cause as others have done. Hee was pleased to tell the Israëlites the cause of their plague which hee would send upon them; vers. 62 even Because they would not obey the voyce of the Lord their God. Iust thus hee punisheth us as hee punished them; even untill wee are allmost quite destroyd: and hee telleth us our sinne, our offence too, by his word, by his ministers, by our owne consciences, even, that wee refuse to obey the voyce of the Lord. Iust therfore, most just it is, that seeing wee have, wee doe, wee will thus sinne; even thus, yea thus severely likewise wee should be punished. [Page 385] Yea, wee deserve it in a farre greater manner; in a sarre greater measure. Hee who threatned those that would walke contrarie unto him, and would not hearken unto him, Lev: 26 21.that hee would bring seaven times more plagues upon them, according to their sinnes: Hee who by Moses threatned them that If they would not observe to doe all the words of that law which are written in that booke, Deut: 28.58.that they might feare this glorious name, The Lord thy God: vers. 59Then the Lord should make their plagues wonderfull, and the plagues of their seede; even greate plagues, and of long continuance: and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance: The selfe-same God hath found us walking contrarie unto him; and therfore hath brought on us seaven times more plagues then formerly. Hee seeth that wee feare not this glorious name The Lord our God; therfore hath hee sent us greate plagues, & of long continuance; and sore sicknesse, & of long continuance.
Thus I sitt, and muse, and consider of the sicknesse. I heare the bells tolling; even those bells which were wont to invite us to the temple, that wee might know our sinnes at the mouth of the preacher, and pray for remission of our sinnes by the helpe of the preacher; the very selfe-same bells serve now to tell mee that one man lyeth languishing, and desireth my prayers; another man is departed, and wanteth nothing but a funerall; a third man is to be buried, but a neighbourly, and [Page 386] friendly companie is wanting. Every stroake of a bell (mee think's) hitteth mee at the heart, and biddeth mee to prepare for my last fare-well. Every toul awakeneth my conscience; and biddeth mee remember what my sinnes have merited. Thus mine eares receave a sound; and thus my trembling heart feeleth a throb, a heating, a panting for my particular sinnes which have beene some cause of this generall sicknesse.
Moses went unto the Lord, 3. Ex: 32.31.and sayd, Oh this people have sinned a greate sinne, and have made them Gods of gold! But what followed? The Lord plagued the people, vers: 35because they worshipped the Calse which Aaron had made. There was the sinne; & there was the punishment. But was that plague the same as this which now doeth rave, and rage amongst us? Surely our sinnes are the same as were theirs; for wee digge the entrailes of our mother earth, and (like the Augures, the Sooth-sayers, though they sayd noe sooth, noe trueth at all) wee conjecture, wee divine by those entrailes; yea and wee decree him who is rich, to be a good man, a fufficient man, an honest man, and what not? Wee vallew the man for the gold; wee worship him for it; wee honour him for it. And is not this to sinne with the Israëlites? Wee doe very litle differ from those idolaters; even nothing at all. They made them Gods of gold, and wee make gold our God. Iustly [Page 387] therfore are wee thus punished by the true God, because wee honour that which is noe God. The Israelites had this very kind, and sort of plague; such a very pestilence as ours; and for just such a sinne as this of ours. Though Moses prayed for them; yea though hee desired to be blotted out of the booke of God, vers: 32 rather then they should not be forgiven; yet God decreed saying, vers: 33 Whosoëver hath sinned against mee, him will I blott out of my booke. Whosoëver hath sinned against him? If hee should deale so with us, who should people the land? Who should inhabit our dwellings? Who should enjoy our treasures? Hee hath begun blotting indeede allready. His inke is found in the blacknesse of every blaine; in the blewnesse of every token; in the rednesse of every crossed doore. But will this blotting allwayes continue? Will hee not stay his hand? Will his wrath burne like fire for ever? Ps: 141.7. Our bones lye scattered at the graves mouth, as when one cutteth, and cleaveth wood upon the earth.vers: 8.But mine eyes are unto thee, ô God, the Lord: in thee is my trust. Either blott not at all, or onely blott out our offences. Hide thy face from our sinns, and blott out all our iniquities. Say unto every one of us as thou diddest unto Iacob by the mouth of thy Prophet; I, Is: 43.25.even I am hee that blotteth out thy transgressions, for mine owne name's sake; and will not remember thy sinnes.
The Fourth part of the Soliloquie, consisting, of Severall examples of dreadfull Pestilences.
LOrd what a hideous dinne is this in mine eares! There was a groane able to have shaken even the earth it selfe, had it beene imprisoned in the deepest bowells thereof. What, another? Hearke! There's weeping too. Oh this is the sad, and wearisome life of us poore sinners, who are caged, and miewed up in our infected citties, and townes, and villages. The diseased groane through the extreamitie of their paines; and for want of comforts both of body, and soule. The sound are weeping for the miseries of the sick; and long for the deliverance even of their whole familes from the burden of the flesh. Some habitations are made both hospitalls, and charnell houses, where many a one lyeth sick; and for want of helpe, they sicken without hope, they dye without comfort, and they consume without interment. Sometimes againe the mother, who dandled her infant in her clasping armes, is enforced in those armes to carrie it to the grave. Sometimes the husband, who deerely affected the wife of his bosome, is enforced to make her the burden of his shoulders; and to beare her dead corps to the devouring earth, for want of friends, [Page 389] & neighbours to ease him of the burden. Yea, sometimes the children are enforced to assist their father, in the cariage of their mother to her longest home. O horrour, horrour, horrour! Can pittie find noe enterance at the hearts of strangers? Can compassionfind noe harbour in the bowells of neighbours? Will none performe this act of pietie to key-cold woman to the carkeise of a woman, but onely her husband, the husband of her affection; and her children, the labour and the fruit of her wombe? O how divers in the world would stand amazed at the sight, & hardly determine whether the dropps which fall from the faces of the bearers be the sweate of their browes, or the teares of their eyes. Oh what adreadfull time is this! Did ever any age produce a paralell to this severe contagion? Was it ever knowne that a Pestilence was so generall, and so malignant? Did ever any people drinke so deepe of the cup of sorrow, astonishment, Eze: 23 33. vers: 4.and desolation as wee doe? Was ever Samaria, or Aholah, or Aholibah, or Babylon, or Ierusalem; Ier: 25.20. was ever the king of the land of the Philistines, or Askelon, or Azzah, or Ekron, vers: 21or Ashdod; was ever Edom, or Moab, or Ammon, or Tyrus, or Zidon; vers: 22 was ever Dedan, or Tema, vers: 23 or any other place so drunke with the cup of furie from the Lords hands, as wee are? Hos: 4.18. Our drinke was formerly sowre with our whoredomes with our abominations: [Page 390] now therfore wee have waters of gall to drinke; Ier: 8.14. c: 23.15. c: 25.15. Eze: 39 17. vers: 18 vers: 19 Lam: 1.12. wee are fed with wormewood; and our cup is a cup of furie, of trembling, and of astonishment. O the plague, the plague it is that eateth our flesh, and drinketh our blood: it eateth the flesh of the mighty, and drinketh the blood of Princes; it drinketh even untill it is drunken with our blood. Was there ever any sorrow like unto our sorrow where with the Lord doeth afflict us in this day of his fierce wrath?
But why doe I thus cry out? Why complaine I so mournefully, as if our afflictions exceeded all that ever were sent upon the children of men? If I consider our estate by it selfe, I cannot choose indeede but conclude it miserable: but if I weigh it with the Pestilences of former ages, it will not perhapps appeare a burden so un-supportable. Comparisons may peradventure ease my griese, and lessen my torments: therfore (with David) I will remember the dayes of ould; I will meditate on all the workes of God. Ps: 143 5. It may be that Solomon may advise mee, and comfort mee too, where hee thus counselleth, Eccl: 7.10. Say not in thine heart, What is the cause that the former dayes were better then these? For thou doest not enquire wisely concerning this. I will therfore consider the dayes of ould, Ps: 77.5 and the yeeres of ancient times. Num: 16.41.
example 1 The children of Israël murmured against Moses and Aaron about the destruction of [Page 391] Korah, Dathan, Abiram, and their accomplices, saying, Yee have killed the people of the Lord: vers: 46 and presently there was wrath gone out from the Lord, the plague was begunne. vers: 49 So they that dyed of the plague were foureteene thousand and seaven hundred, and all in a day; beside them that dyed about the matter of Korah.
example 2 When Israel abode at Shittim, the people committed whoredome with the daughters of Moab: and, Num: 25.1. vers: 3. Ps: 106 28. vers: 29 not contented with this high offence, they allso joyned themselves unto Baal-Peor, and did eate the sacrifices of the dead. Thus they provoked the Lord to anger with their inventions; and the plague brake in upon them: Num: 25.9. and those that dyed in the plague were twentie and foure thousand. Their sinne was double; it was whoredome both carnall, and spirituall: their punishment was therfore allmost double to that which was sent for murmuring.
example 3 When David sent for the Captaine of the hoast to number the people; Ioab answered him fairely, saying, 2. Sa [...] 24.3. Now the Lord thy God adde unto the people (how many soever they be) an hundred fold; and that the eyes of my Lord the King may see it: but why doth my Lord the King delight in this thing? vers. 4.Notwithstanding the King's word prevailed against Ioab, and against the Captaines of the boast: and Ioab, and the Captaines of the hoast went out from the presence of the King to number the people of Israel. But what was the event thereof? vers: 15 The Lord [Page 392] sent a Pestilence upon Israël from the morning even to the time appointed: and there dyed of the people from Dan even to Beersheba seaventy thousand men; and all of them in the space of but three dayes. vers: 13 Here was yet a greater number then before; and yet all of them fell for the sinne of one onely man: but this one man was a King; and for his eminent offence five times as many were slaine, as when the multitude of people joyned in a murmuring. Hee who by the people was acknowledged worth ten thousand of them, c: 18.3. now for his sinne became the destroyer of seaven times as many of them as hee was vallued at by them: so greate was the anger of the Lord, for a sinne so greate, and committed by a person so greate, so eminent.
example 4 The All-mighty threatned Ierusalem by the mouth of his Prophet, that hee would make that cittie desolate, Ier: 19.8.and an hissing: every one that passed thereby should be astonished, and hisse, c: 49.17.because of the plagues thereof. The same God threatned Edom allso by the same Prophet, saying, Edom shall be a desolation: every one that goeth by shall be astonished, and shall hisse at the plagues thereof. The same God againe threatned Babylon by the same Prophet, saying, c: 50.13. Because of the word of the Lord, it shall not be inhabited, but it shall be wholly desolate: Every one that goeth by Babylon shall be astonished, and hisse at her plagues.
Thus I remember thy judgments of old, ô Lord, Ps. 119 52.and receave comfort. Comfesse I must indeede that wee have sinned with our fathers, 2. Chr: 6.37.wee have done amisse, and dealt wickedly: but are our punishments as greate as our fathers were? Foureteene thousand and seaven hundred of them fell at one time: twentie and fower thousand at another time: threescore and ten thousand at a third time. Lord, what mighty numbers were here! and yet wee feare when one dyeth; wee tremble when ten; wee runne when twentie; wee are dismayed when an hundred; wee are hopelesse, heartlesse, even allmost quite dead allready when a thousand depart. But why should not wee expect as greate plagues as were sent upon any of our ancestours, seeing, that our sinnes are not lesse either in number, or weight? Wherein are wee better then Ierusalem, or Edom, or Babylon, that wee are not yet as desolate as were they? That every one that passeth by is not astonished, nor hisseth at us, as they did at them? Hee who visited them doeth visit us: Ps: 89.32. hee visiteth our offences with his rod, and our sinnes with his scourges. Yet hee visiteth us not so sorely as hee did the Israelites, when fowreteene thousand and seaven hundred of them dyed; or not so severely as when twentie and fowre thousand of them were swept away: or not so grie. vously as when threescore and ten [Page 394] thousand of them were destroyed; or not so terribly as Ierusalem, Edom, and Babylon; for wee are not quite desolate: or not so furiously as Nineveh, to whom God spake by his Prophet saying, Nah: 3.19. There is noe healing of thy bruise; thy wound is grievous: all that heare the bruite of thee shall clapp the hands over thee: Or howsoever not so remedilesly as the army of Pharaoh at Euphrates, whom the Lord mocketh by the mouth of his Prophet, saying, Ier: 46.11. Goe up unto Gilead, and take balme, ô virgin, the daughter of Egypt: In vaine shalt thou use any medicines, for thou shalt not be cured. Eze: 12 18. This, ô this maketh mee to eate my bread with quaking, and to drinke my water with trembling and carefullnesse, for feare lest our sinne-revenging God should punish us as hee hath done them. O what mercies doeth hee not yet offer unto us? What kindnesse doeth hee not yet afford us? To our Physitians hee giveth knowledg: to our medicines hee giveth vertue. The herbes of the fields, and the fruits of the trees, and the flesh of the beastes doe yet offer themselves for our cure, and our sustenance. O that wee had but so much happinesse, as to know the miserie which is due to our offences! O that wee had but so much mercy from God, as to know his mercy in his gentle visitation! For this our miserie will I groane; for these our sinnes I will lament; for the mercy of my [Page 395] God I will pray, and I will cry, Heare, Ps: 30.10. Ps: 60.11.ô Lord, and have mercy upon us: Lord be thou our helper. O be thou our helpe in trouble, for vaine is the helpe of man.
part 5 The Fifth part of the Soliloquie, shewing how God threatneth before his visitation.
IT is a weakenesse, it is a fondnesse, it is a madnesse in people not to believe the sure effects of certaine causes, before they become obvious to their senses. In the course of nature wee are apt to believe what wee dare not try. Who will put his finger into the fire to try if it will burne? Who will cast himselfe into the water to try whether it will drowne him? Yet in things divine wee are too incredulous; too full of un-beliefe. I find that my God hath stricken divers with plagues for the sinnes which they have committed: But I likewise find that hee hath threatned divers before hee visited them, that so by their amendment they might prevent those judgments which otherwise would ensue. It is my best way to find out the crying sinnes of the land, by observing the punishments which are sent us for them: but I must not forget either the patience of our God, or the obstinacie of men; the long-suffering [Page 396] of our Creatour, or the impenitencie of his creatures. Sure I am that the Lord did allways call to repentance before hee punished offenders: hee hath ever wooed transgressours both by promises, and by threatnings before hee ever made them sick in smiting them for their transgressions. Mic: 6.13.
example 1 When the Israëlites were to be freed from the Egyptian bondage, ô how often was Pharaoh admonished to let them goe! Moses and Aaron sayd unto him, The God of the Hebrewes hath met with us: Ex: 5.3let us goe, wee pray thee, three dayes journie into the desert, and sacrifice to the Lord our God, lest hee fall upon us with the Pestilence, or with the sword. Lord, how meeke Moses begged for the people! yea and in the name of God too; and for an act of religion too; and for feare of judgments too: yea and those judgments not small, or triviall; for they should be either the Pestilence, or the sword; yea and hee pretendeth that those judgments should fall upon the Israelites, the people of God, if they neglect their sacrifices; hee saith not, upon the Egyptians; hee saith not, upon the King: And yet, for all this, the King yeelded not; the Israelites sacrificed not; and therfore the plagues, the vengeance came upon the heads of their oppressours.
example 2 Gog was threatned for a thing which yet hee was suffered to doe. The Israelites [Page 397] were to be his purchase; Eze: 38.11. the un-walled villages his pray; all that dwelled without walls, and had neither barres, nor gates should be made desolate by him. Thus the people of God were to suffer for the sinnes committed against their God. But was the enemie to escape, by whom the people should be corrected? Was Gog to be enriched, and to enjoy the spoyle? Nothing lesse. The very instrument of revenge was not to be freed from the wrath of the revenger; nor the executioner to be accounted innocent, though hee punished the guilty. vers. 22 I will pleade against him with pestilence (saith the Lord, and with blood. I will raine upon him, and upon his bands, and upon the many people that are with him, an over-flowing raine, and greate hailestones, fire, and brimstone. Thus the Israelites offended, and were threatned with the armies of Gog. Gog offended, in that hee knew not his maker; in that hee looked onely to his advantage and spoyles, whilest yet hee executed the vengeance of God: hee's therfore threatned; hee shall therfore be consumed. When hee should have revenged God upon the rebellious people, then God himselfe would be revenged upon him with judgments from heaven.
example 3 The Prophet Ezekiel was sent to threaten the Israëlites for their many rebellions, and thus sayd the Lord God unto [Page 398] him, Eze: 6.11. Smite with thine hand, and stampe with thy foote, and say, Alas for all the evill abominations of the house of Israël; for they shall fall by the sword, by the famine, and by the pestilence.vers: 12Hee that is farre off shall dye of the pestilence; and hee that is neere shall fall by the sword; and hee that remaineth, and is besieged shall dye by the famine: thus will I accomplish my fury upon them. Here is warning given before the blow be stricken; there is the sword allready halfe out; here is the famine allready in a due preparation; here is an Angel ready to disperse the pestilence: but, before execution here is notice given; before the punishment here is a threatning sent. Even thus allso hath our good God dealt with us: thus hath hee warned us. Eze: 33 11. Hee who delighteth not in the death of a sinner, doeth never strike before notice given; for hee had rather that our repentance should quiver his arrowes, then that by our sinnes hee should be enforced to hit us at the heart.
example 4 I will smite the inhabitants of this citty (saith God by Ieremiah concerning Ierusalem) both man, Ier: 21.6.and beast: they shall dye of a greate Pestilence. Loe here is still the future tense, I will; not I doe. God delighteth not in the execution of his wrath; but yet his I will is as sure as his I doe. Thus hee hath formerly threatned us with his I will; I confesse indeede hee hath: and yet wee would not [Page 399] believe what was to come; & onely because wee found it not instantly present. Hence it is that now our people cry; now our beastes doe roare: and it is but just that men and women should be ranked in the order with beastes, seeing that our sinnes have discovered us to be more stupid then them. Yet the beasts perish, though they could not sinne; and wee perish because wee can doe noe-thing but sinne. So the servant suffereth for the offences of the master: so the beasts are punished for the sinnes of the owners. The Pestilence putteth noe distinction betweene them both, allthough the one could not, the other would not avoyde the punishment.
example 5 In the booke of Exodus the Lord saith concerning Pharaoh, Ex: 9.15. & the Egyptians Now I will stretch out mine hand, that I may smite thee and thy people with Pestilence; and thou shalt be cut off from the earth. Take heede Pharaoh: hee is true who threatneth: and allthough hee saith I will, yet hee saith allso now I will. Hee is ready for thee, allthough thy heart be not ready for him: hee is just now prepared to punish, if thou be not just now prepared to obey. I will bring a sword upon you, Lev: 26 25.that shall avenge the quarrell of my covenant: and when yee are gathered together in your citties, I will send the Pestilence among you; and yee shall be delivered into the hand of your enemies, saith the Lord to the Israëlites. [Page 400] And againe: Deut: 28.21. The Lord shall make the Pestilence to cleave to thee, untill hee have consumed thee from offe the land whither thou goest to possesse it. Yea, & yet once againe: The Lord said unto Moses, Num: 14.11.How long will this people provoke mee? And how long will it be ere they beleive mee, for all the signes that I have shewed among them? vers: 12I will smite them with the pestilence, and disinherit them, and will make of thee a mightier nation then they. O the fathomlesse treasure of the bountie of my God! Rom: 2 4. O the riches of his goodnesse, and patience, and long suffering, leading us to repentance! What were the Israëlites, that hee should not plague them? Why not presently? The wages is due so soone as the service is done; and the punishment is as due, so soone as the offence is committed: and yet, allthough God be forward in the former, hee is slow to the latter: allthough hee delight in the former, yet is hee hardly drawne to the latter. Mee think's when I consider the Israëlites, I wonder at their rebellions: and yet, mee think's, when I consider our selves, I wonder much more. Is: 5.1. What could have beene done more to this vine-yard of God, that hee hath not done unto us? vers: 2. Hee hath senced us, and gathered out the stones from us, and planted us with the choycest vine, and built a tower in the midst of us, and allso made a wine-presse in this his vineyard, [Page 401] and yet for all this, when hee looked that wee should bring forth grapes, behould wild grapes. Oh how my heart panteth within mee, and my whole selfe is in a trembling feare, when I consider his mercies, and our rebellions! Dan: 5.5. O mee think's I see a handwriting against us allmost upon every doore, every inhabitant, written as it were, with the fingers of a man's hand (as once Be [...]shazzar saw upon the plaister of the wall); which maketh my countenance change, vers: 6.and my thoughts be troubled, so that the joynts of my loynes be loosed, and my knees smite one against another: and I cry for mercy, for I have offended; and I knock for compassion, for I have transgressed. God did threaten Israel with a pestilence when they should be gathered together in their citties; with a Pestilence that should consume them from off the land; with a Pestilence that should dis-inherit them: and all this to avenge the quarrell of his covenant, because they still provoked him; because they would not believe him, for all the signes that hee had shewed among them. But where in had Israel offended? In what manner? In what measure, which this land hath not exceeded? And yet, ô how unwillingly doth the All-mighty punish us! O how slowly! O how gently! Matt: 11.12. The kingdome of heaven suffereth violence, saith my Iesus. Violence indeede, by our daring sinnes, for [Page 402] wee draw the revenger's sword for him: wee bend his bowe for him, Ps. 7.12 and make it ready: wee allso prepare for him the instruments of death, vers. 13 Ps. 64.3 because wee whett our tongues like swords, and bend our bowes to shoote our arrowes, even bitter words, vers. 4.that wee may shoote in secret at the perfect: suddenly doe wee shoote at him, & feare not. And what now can wee expect but judgments, seeing that wee will not offer the just, and rightfull violence to the Kingdome of heaven, even the violence of our prayers; the violence of our teares; the violence of sobbs, and sighs; and groanes in our spirituall combats; and conflicts? What can wee expect but vengeance? And what doe wee meete with, but destruction? Hee hath threatned, and threatned, againe, and againe; and yet wee have resisted, and resisted, againe, and againe too. Is: 5.7. When hee looked for righteousnesse, behould oppression: justly therfore, now wee looke for mercy, behould a cry. A cry in the beds of the languishing; a cry in the chambers of the infected, and pined prisoners; a cry of the healthfull for feare of infection; a cry of parents for their tender children; a cry of children for their dying parents. Brother cryeth for brother; sister for sister: all cry for helpe; Ps. 102 1. all cry for mercy. O Lord heare our prayers, and let our cryes come unto thee.
The Sixth part of the Soliloquie, treating of the duety of a Christian; decreeing both to whom, and for whom wee ought to pray in the time of Pestilence.
I Weepe and weepe, and sigh and sigh, and pray and pray: but why doe I thus weepe, and sigh, and pray? If for my selfe, it is a debt which is challenged even by nature it selfe, so that I may have any hope by these meanes either to prevent, or to cure the sicknesse. If for others, it is charitie; it is a religious duety. Thus wee are commanded by the Apostle; Beare yee one anothers burdens, Gal. 6.2and so fullfill the law of Christ. And againe by the same Apostle I am commanded to weepe with them that weepe. Rom. 12.15. But must my teares be generall? Must my prayers be universall? For all? For the wicked as well as the godly? There was a time when the Prophet Ieremiah might not pray for Iudah. The Lord said unto him, Pray not for this people for their good: Ier. 14.11. vers. 12When they fast I will not heare their cry; and when they offer burnt-offerings, and oblations, I will not accept them; but I will consume them by the sword, and by the famine, and by the Pestilence. There was a time too when the Lord said concerning the sonnes, c. 16.3[Page 404] and concerning the daughters that were borne among the Iewes, & concerning their mothers that bare them, and concerning their fathers that begat them:vers: 4.They shall dye of grievous deaths; they shall not be lamented; neither shall they be buried; but they shall be as dung upon the face of the earth; and they shall be consumed by the sword, and by the famine; and their carkeises shall be meate for the fowle of heaven, and for the beasts of the earth.vers. 5.For thus saith the Lord, Enter not into the house of mourning; neither goe to lament, nor bemoane them; for I have taken away my peace from this people, saith the Lord; even loving kindnesse, and mercies.vers. 6.Both the great and the small shall dye in this land: they shall not be buried, neither shall men lament for them, nor cutt themselves, nor make themselves bald for them. And there was a time allso when the eyes of Iehojakim the sonne of Iosiah King of Iudah; c: 22.17. and his heart were not but for coveteousnesse, and for to shed innocent blood, and for oppression, and for violence to doe it.vers. 18Therfore thus sayd the Lord concerning him, They shall not lament for him, saying, Ah my brother, or Ah sister: they shall not lament for him saying, Ah Lord, or Ah his glory.vers. 19Hee shall be buried with the buriall of an Asse, drawne, and cast out beyond the gates of Ierusalem. Thus it was [Page 405] with them; but must it therfore be thus with those which dye of the sicknesse; of the Pestilence? With all? This were a dreadfull sentence indeede, To dye, and not to be pittyed: to dye of the plague, and before death not to be prayed for. Who knoweth indeede, but that some such as those men of Iudah, may be among us? Who knoweth but that some Iehojakims may be among the visited? What then? Shall I therfore pray for none? Yea shall I not pray for them? God forbid. The lesse they pray for themselves, the more will I pray for them. The lesse they know God, the more will I pray that they may know him. The sicker they are in body, the more neede they have of comfort in mind. What though they in part may be a cause of this mortalitie? What though their wickednesses have helped to bring this contagion? If they are enemies to mee in particular, I will forgive them: though they are God's, I will pray for them; even that hee in his good time would be pleased to call them home both to the knowledg, and the practise of his trueth. David I am sure did pray for, and pittie his enemies; for so hee professeth saying, Ps: 35.13. As for mee, when they were sick, my cloathing was sack-cloth: I humbled my soule with fasting. Lu: 19.41. And thus did my Redeemer too for Ierusalem: for, When hee was come [Page 406] neere to the citty, hee beheld it; yea hee wept over it, vers. 42saying, If thou hadst knowne, even thou, at least in this thy day, the things which belong unto thy peace! But now are they hid from thine eyes. Shall David weepe then for his enemies? Shall my Iesus weepe for his enemies, for the enemies of his father, Ioh: 20 17.and my father, of his God, and my God; and shall not I weepe for those who are in miserie, and distresse? My saviour knew who were elected, and who were reprobates; and yet hee wept over the whole citty. I dare not pry into those secret counsells of my God, nor can I know all those whom hee hath ordained for heaven othell: shall not I then weepe for them all in generall in this generall calamitie? Yes, I will keepe my turne: I will sing my part in this dolefull consort. Surely if my God should forbid mee praying for them; even the very prohibition might peraduenture encourage mee to performe it, hee knoweth that wee are apt to doe whatsoever hee forbiddeth. O my God either take away my readinesse, and aptnesse to contradict thee; or else forbid mee nothing but what thou wouldest have mee to performe. But why should I pray for those, who (though they are visited) refuse to repent? Shall I hope to alter the eternall decree of him with whom is noe variablenesse, Iam. 1.17.neither shadow of change? What if hee hath reserved them for vengeance? Can I, by my prayers, [Page 407] snatch them out of the fire? If they are sick, peradventure I cannot cure them. If they are not yet sick, I cannot preserve them. O these churlish, inhumane, un-christian, uncharitable thoughts! God therfore sendeth them this affliction, that they may repent: and that they may rather prevent, then hee exercise his revenge. Seeing therfore that I know not the hearts of any, I will pittie all: and since by my prayers I cannot prevaile for them to whom is reserved the blacknesse of darknesse for ever; I will grieve, Iud: 13. that Man is become so wicked, Rom: 2 5. as to treasure up unto himselfe such wrath against the day of wrath. Faine would my God have conquered the stubbornnesse of stiffe-necked Israel with the pleasant allurements of his heavenly blessings: yet they would not yeeld, they would not relent. Then hee threatned them: yet they would not yeeld. Then hee punished them: and yet they would not turne: which made him cry out by his Prophet. Amos. 4.10. I have sent among you the Pestilence after the manner of Egypt; yet have yee not returned unto mee, saith the Lord. Surely the Lord is very angry with such as will not tremble at his judgments; which made him threaten so by Ezekiel, saying, If I send a Pestilence into that land, Eze: 14 19.and powre out my furie upon it in blood, to cut off from it man and beast: Though Noah, Daniel, vers. 20and Ioh were in it, as I live saith the Lord God they [Page 408] shall deliver neither sonne nor daughter: they shall deliver but their owne soules by their righteousnesse. What comfort then can I receave or give, when I mourne for the comfortlesse? What hope have I to speede, when these worthies should be denyed, if they were here to intercede for them by their earnest supplications? Sure I am that I am not so good as any of those three: Not as the worst. Not as Noah though hee had beene drunke. Gen: 9.21. Not as Iob, though Eliphaz taxed him with impatience, when as hee justified him selfe, and seemed to taxe even God himselfe with injustice, Iob: 16.15. saying, I have sewed sack-cloth upon my skinne, and defiled my horne in the dust. My face is fowle with weeping; vers: 16and on mine eyelids is the shadow of death.vers: 17Not for any injustice in my hands: allso my prayer is pure. Noe, Noe: farre short come I of either, of any of them: poore I: a poore, weake sinfull woman; even as sinfull as the worst; as wicked as the worst. And (now I begin better to bethinke my selfe by thinking worse of my felfe) what are those which I questioned whether I might pray for them, or not? Are they sinners? So am I. Are they grievous sinners? So am I. Surely I doe not know enough of my selfe, if I doe not know my selfe the worst, the vilest, the chiefest of sinners. It is then but justice that I should pray for the worst, since I my selfe either am, or might [Page 409] have beene worse then them. My prayers shall be generall, for all; hoping that God may be pleased to have mercy on all. But if any among them be certainly reprobates though I know it not, yet, I will pray that they may be taken from the number of the faithfull, that so they may neither seduce by their temptations, nor offend by their examples, nor dishonour my good God any longer by their crying, and multiplying abhominations. Yet must I howsoever be charitable in my devotions; and pray for others, as well as for my selfe.
But all this while (since my thoughts have beene fixed upon those that are visited, and I am certainly resolved for whom I will pray) let mee be sure that I direct my prayers aright, or else my devotion may be but blindnesse, and my religion, superstition. To him without doubt, and to him alone must I tender my petitions, from whom, yea from whom alone this sicknesse is sent upon this sinfull land. And who is hee which visiteth the earth, but onely the great Creatour of heaven, and earth? The very Philistines could acknowledg this, 1. Sam: 4.5. when the Arke of the covenant of the Lord came into the campe, and all Israël showted with a great showte, so that the earth rang againe. They then beganne to be afraid, for they said, God is come into the campe. vers: 7.And they said, Woe unto us, for there hath not [Page 410] beene such a thing heretofore:vers: 8.Woe unto us; who shall deliver us out of the hands of their mighty Gods? These are the Gods that smote the Egyptians with all the plagues in the willdernesse. Thus even by the testimonie of the uncircumcised my God is determined to be the sin-revenging God, who punisheth offenders with these plagues and Pestilences. But shall I onely depend upon their testimonies who knew not God, for my assurance that this vengeance cometh from God? Noe: I will looke a litle farther, and find David the good Prophet acknowledging it in his Psalmes, Ps: 78.50. and saying, Hee made a way to his anger; hee spared not their soule from death; but gave their life over to the Pestilence. This the patient Iob confessed, Iob. 5.17. saying, Behould happy is the man whom God correcteth: therfore despise not thou the chastening of the Allmighty: For hee maketh sore, vers: 18and bindeth up; hee woundeth, and his hands make whole. This the holy Prophet Hosea proclaimed, Hos: 6.1. and said, Come and let us returne unto the Lord; for hee hath torne, and hee will heale us: hee hath smitten, and hee will bind us up. This was the song of devout Hannah: 1. Sam. 2.6. The Lord killeth, and maketh alive; hee bringeth downe to the grave, and bringeth up. Deut: 32.39. Yea and this God himselfe doeth publish to the whole world, and saith, See now that I even I am hee, and there is noe God with mee. I kill, and I make alive: I wound, [Page 411] and I heale: neither is there any that can deliver out of mine hand. It is cleere then, it is most apparent that in this generall sicknesse I must of necessitie acknowledg the finger of God. There was once a time when hee himselfe proclaimed, saying, Is: 65.1 I am sought of them that asked not for mee: I am found of them that fought mee not. I said, Behould mee, vers: 2.behould mee unto a nation that was not called by my name. I have spread out my hands all the day unto a rebellious people. And surely that time is now come againe: for wee sought him not, and yet wee have found him in this day of our visitation, vers: 4. even in this dreadfull sicknesse. Hee hath spread out his hands all the day long unto us a rebellious people; but wee would not hearken unto him: justly therfore doe wee remaine among the graves; and hence it is that our hands are held up unto him. But, alas so weake are our devotions; so feeble are wee in our Petitions; so unconstant, so wavering are wee in our faith, that our hands are heavier then our hearts. Ex: 17.12. Wee must be faint to have an Aaron, and a Hur to stay them up, or else wee are ready to let them downe; & if they fall, the greate Amalekites, (both our sinnes, & Gods revēge) will prevaile against us. Hee cryeth out unto us, Behould mee, Behould mee; & (woe is unto us,) wee doe behould him in his severe, and consuming wrath: But ô that wee might behould him in the cleere and [Page 412] most lovely glory of his mercy! O that hee might now be sought of us, though formerly wee have not asked for him! Hee once did promise that a time should be when the children of Israel should come, Ier: 50.4.they and the children of Indah together, goeing, and weeping: they should goe and seeke the Lord their God. Surely that time is now come to us his Israël: for now wee goe, and weepe as wee goe (as did David for Absalom); 2. Sam: 18.33. Gen: 43.30. Ps: 126.6. Wee weepe as wed goe up to our chambers. With Ioseph, wee seeke where to weepe; and wee enter into our chambers, and weepe there. With the Church in the Psalmes, wee goe forth and weepe. With the Israelites, wee weepe before the doore of the tabernacle of the congregation. Num: 25.6. 2. Sam. 15.30. With David, and the people that were with him, wee weepe as wee goe up to the citty. Yea with Ishmaël, wee weepe all along as wee goe. And as wee weepe, so I hope wee shall seeke too; Ier: 41.6. even seeke the Lord, and his strength; yea seeke his face evermore. This is the way for pardon; Ps: 105.4. and this is the meanes for health: for so God promised King Solomon, saying: If I shut up heaven that there be noe raine: 2. Chr: 7.13.or if I command the Locusts to devours the land: or if I send a Pestilence among my people: If my people which are called by my name shall humble themselves, vers: 14and pray, and seeke my face, and turne from their wicked wayes; then will I heare from heaven, and will forgive their sinne, and will heale their land. Lord, this Pestilence [Page 413] thou hast sent among us; among us Christians that are called by thy name. Ios: 24.15. Let others doe what they will: as for mee, and my house, wee will serve thee, ô my Lord. Doe thou make mee to turne from my wicked wayes, that thou mayst heare from heaven, and forgive my sinnes, and heale this land: for I will seeke thy face; I will bumble my selfe; I will pray unto thee, and say.
The Prayer.
OMnipotent Lord, thou sinne-revenging God, who for disobedience diddest threaten thine owne people of Israel to smite them in the knees, Deut: 28.35.and in the legges with a sore botch that could not be healed, from the sole of the foote unto the topp of the head: vers: 27to smite them with the botch of Egypt, whereof they could not be healed: Thou who by the mouth of thine onely sonne didst fore-tell to the Iewes that nation should rise against nation, Mat: 24 7.Kingdome against Kingdome, and that there should be famines, and Pestilences in diverse places: be pleased, ô thou greate; offended Lord, in the bowells of thy compassion to let thine anger cease, Ps: 85.4 and to bow downe thine eare to thy sorrowfull hand-mayd. O my God thou seest how I groane under the burden of thy wrathfull indignation, bemoaning the generall [Page 414] sufferances for our more generall sinnes. Our sinnes, our sinnes doe farre exceede the transgressions of Israel: yea they are greater then those of the Iewes against the true Messias; for thine owne Apostle beareth them witnesse, 1. Cor: 2.8. that Had they knowne it, they would not have crucified the Lord of Glory: but wee alas, both have knowne, and doe know him; and yet wee crucify to our selves the sonne of thee our God afresh; Heb: 6.6.and dayly put him to an open shame. For these our offences thou hast begunne thy revenge, yea and most justly too; for thou art cleere, though man should judg thee. Under this thy heavie wrath wee groane ô Lord, wee cry, wee howle; for sicknesse increaseth, death approacheth: yea such a sicknesse, and such a death, as maketh us feare both our selves, and our neighbours; because wee have not feared thee the Lord of hosts. Thou seest, ô Lord, our afflictions; even that our houses are made our prisons, and our sores our companions. Our streetes are turned into pastures, our townes into wildernesses; and, for our backwardnesse in our devotions, our very doores instruct us to addresse our selves unto thee, and to beseech thee Lord to have mercy upon us. Our dayes are consumed in sorrowes, and languishing; and our nights in weeping, and mourning. Thou woundest us, and wee cry; thou smitest us, and wee roare; thou plaguest us, and wee are [Page 415] troubled, wee are dismayed. Our Golgothaes are surfeited with the dead, and our habitations infected with the living. Wee flye from place to place from countrie to countrie; & yet wee flie not from thy presence, wee avoyd not thy judgments. What shall wee doe, What shall wee doe? Is there noe balme, Ier: 8.22. ô Lord, in Gilead? Is there noe physitian there? Why then is not the health of the daughter of thy people recovered? Thy sonne, thy mercifull sonne, thy sweete sonne Iesus was sent to bind up the broken hearted, Is: 61.1 vers: 2. and to open the prisons to them that were bound, and to comfort them that mourne: and hee was not backward in the performance of this for which hee was sent; Mat: 4.23. c. 15.30. for hee healed all manner of sicknesse, and all manner of diseases among the people. At thy feete therfore, ô Iesus thou best physitian, wee cast our selves downe. A multitude wee are that lye at thy feere: Cure us, ô Christ; heale us, ô Iesus, as thou didest the multitude. Lu: 6.19. Mat: 14 14. A whole multitude once did seeke to touch thee; for there went vertue out of thee; and thou healedst them all. Thou wert moved with compassion, and didst heale their sick. Many didst thou cure of their infirmities, and plagues.Luc: 7.21. Is: 59.1Behould thy hand is not shortened that it cannot save; neither is thine eare heavy that thou canst not heare. The number of petitioners cannot deterre thee; Mat. 3.10. the multitude of suitors cannot molest thee; for thou hast healed [Page 416] many: therfore, with the multitude in the gospel. wee presse upon thee, that wee may but touch thee; for thou hast vertue in thee; thou hast power to heale. O Lord heare, ô Lord forgive, ô Lord heale us of our grievous wounds. In the depth of thy furie when thou didst resolve to be revenged of a rebellious people, it was yet thy promise that thou wouldest leave a few from the sword, Eze: 12 16.and from the famine, and from the Pestilence, that they might declare all their abominations among the people where they should come; that they might know that thou art the Lord. Vs thou hast plagued, us thou hast punished, so sorely, so grievously, that but few of us are left: yet ô Lord, now at last looke in mercy upon us: ô Lord let this remnant findthy compassion. O cure us, O heale us, ô helpe us for thy mercie's sake. When thou wert angrie with Egypt, Is: 19.22. thou didst threaten to smite it: but, even at that very instant, thou didst likewise promise to heale it; and that they should returne unto thee their Lord, and that thou wouldest be intreated of them. Ier: 33.6. Thou didst proclaine unto Iudah that thou wouldest bring it health, and cure; and wouldest cure them, and reveale unto them aboundance of peace, and trueth. Thou didst promise unto Zion that thou wouldest restore health unto her, c: 30.17and heale her of her wounds, because shee was called an out-cast by the people, saying, This is Zion, [Page 417] whom noe man seeketh after. These were thy promises even in the midst of thy threatnings: and wilt thou be worse unto us then thou wert unto Egypt, or Iudah, or Zion? True it is that thou expectest our conversion; Ioel. 2.12. thou commandest us to turne unto thee with all our hearts, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning. To thee therfore, ô God (though formerly wee have not, yet now) doe wee turne. Wee turne unto thee both our weeping eyes, and our dejected countenances, and our wringing hands, and our bended knees, and our mournefull voyces, and our groaning hearts. Mercifull God behould our teares, and view our countenances, and looke upon our hands, and strengthen our knees, and hearken to our voyees, and comfort our hearts. The Priests, ô Lord, vers: 17 even thine owne Ministers doe weepe betweene the porch and the altar, and they say, Spare thy people, ô Lord, and give not thine heritage to reproach. Ezra: 10.1. Our Ezra's pray, and confesse and weepe, and cast themselves downe before thine house; and the people assemble themselves unto them both our men, and our women, and our children; for wee all weepe very sore. Num: 2.56. Wee weepe, as the Israëlites did before the doore of the tabernacle of the congregation, when twentie and fowre thousand of them dyed of the Pestilence. Thus wee mourne; thus wee weepe: our eyes, our hearts, our very soules doe weepe: ô let us tast of thy [Page 418] love; let us feele thy compassion. Make us to boast of thy praise, as thy servant David did; Ps: 30.2 when hee cryed unto thee, and thou didst heale him. Thou hast beene wrath with us, as thou wert with the Iewes for their coveteousnesse; Is: 57.17. and thou hast smitten us: thou hast bid thy selfe, and hast been angry; yet wee have gone on frowardly in the wayes of our hearts. But, ô our God, doe thou make us as penitent as those lewes; and then say unto us as thou didst unto thy Iudah, vers. 18 I have seene thy wayes, and I will heale thee: I will leade thee allso, and restore comforts unto thee and to thy mourners. Alas, wee mourne, and yet wee are punished: wee grieve, and yet wee are plagued; and all because our iniquities doe testifie against us: Ier. 14.7.but for thy name's sake, ô Lord, be pleased to spare us. vers. 8. O the hope of Israel, the Saviour thereof in the time of trouble, why shouldest thou be as a stranger in the land; and as a way-faring man that turneth aside to tarrie but a night?vers. 9.Why shouldest thou be as a man astonied; as a mighty man that cannot save? Thou, ô Lord, art still in the midst of us, and wee are called by thy name; therfore, wee pray thee, 1. King 8.37. vers: 38 leave us not. O here is a Pestilence in our land; and wee make our prayers and supplications, vers: 39 and streetch forth our hands to ward thine house. Heare therfore in heaven thy dwelling place, vers: 40and forgive; that wee may feare thee, and walke in thy wayes all the dayes of [Page 419] our lives. Or if the sinnes of us thy people cause thee to stoppe thine eares at our prayers, 2. Chr: 30.18. O heare thou our Hezekiah's praying for us who have not cleansed our selves. Stay the plague from us thine Israel, as thou didst from thy people, Ps: 106 30. Num. 16.46. when thy servant Phinehas executed judgment. Cause our Aarons to take their Censers, and to put fire in them from off the altar, and to put on incense: O let them come quickly to our congregations, and make an attonement for us. vers. 48 Let them stand betweene the dead and the living, and let the plague be stayed. 2. Sam. 24.16. Thine Angel stretcheth forth his hand upon our Ierusalem to destroy it: O doe thou as in the time of King David: Repent thee of the evill and say unto the destroying Angell, It is enough; stay now thine hand. Heare mee, ô Lord, for the distressed people; and heare them for mee; and heare thy Christ for us all: that to him, and thee, and thy blessed Spirit wee may render (as is most due) all praise, and glory, and thanks-giving, and obedience from this time forth for ever-more, Amen.
THE FOURTEENTH SUBjECT. Teares of her whose house is shut up for the Pestilence.
The Soliloquie.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, ô Lord; consider my meditation.
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
WHat? Shut up? Why so? Must mine house be a prison; and my selfe both the jayler, and the prisoner too? This is a punishment added unto God's, to be thus shut up from the societie of men. Is this a visitation, thus to forbid our visitants? Was I wont to be such a gadder abroade, that I must now be kept at home under lock and key? Lord how suddenly am I transported with passion even beyond the bounds of reason, and religion! [Page 421] O here is the messenger of death come into mine house; and now I must be thankfull to authoritie for commanding mee to retire my selfe to my private, and pensive accounts, who knoweth yet but that both my selfe, and my familie may live, for all our inclosing? It may so please my God, that by my being secluded from the multitude, I may shunne the infection of the multitude; and so what I conceaved an iniurie, may end in a blessing. I may perhaps say, and say truely, when I am awaked fully out of my passion, Gen: 28.16. as Iacob did when hee awoke out of his sleepe: Surely the Lord is in this place, and I knew it not. My God is come indeede, Lu: 7.6 allthough I am not worthy that hee should enter under my roofe. O hee is come, but hee is come in wrath, and sheweth mee the tokens of his anger: but I will submit to his pleasure, and say unto him in the language of the blessed Virgin: Lu: 1.38. Behould the hand-mayd of the Lord: be it unto mee according to thy will. Who knoweth but that insteed of killing, hee may come to raise mee a Lazarus, Io: 11.43.44. if occasion serveth, as once hee did for Martha and Marie? Peradventure hee may come in judgment to others, and yet to mee in mercy. Howsoever I will hope that I am one of those who are spoken unto from the Lord by the mouth of his Prophet: [Page 422] Come my people; Is: 26.20.enter thou into thy chambers, & shut thy doores about thee: hide thyselfe as it were for a litle moment, untill the indignation be over past. Since then my Lord is come to be my guest, my house shall be emptie, swept, and garnished, that noe thing may offend him, nothing may displease him: and thus will I emptie it, thus will I sweepe it, thus will I garnish it.
Fare-well vaine world; thou that hast deluded mee with thy follies, and cozened mee with thy false, and braided wares. Come not neere mee; my doores are shut, and none such as thou shall enter here. Fare-well false friends, who onely gaze upon the rising Sunne. Yee who were my companions in folly, and enticers to fond and idle sports, fare-well fare-well: noe more shall yee enter with your bewitching charmes. Sports, passe-times, games, merrie meetings, gossipings; fare yee all well; come noe more to my doores: for if yee doe come, yee shall knock, and knock, and knock againe, & all in vaine; for even to this purpose allso are they now made fast. And now mine Eyes, the lustre of my countenance, yee windowes of folly, take yee your leave of your vaine objects; for I have a taske to set you, that yee never yet were acquainted with. First I will preferre you to attend upon my heart; and whatever sighes & sobbes my poore heart shall send [Page 423] forth, it shall be your duety to entertaine them by the way, and enforce them to accept of the companie of your teares. Yee shall weepe 'till yee are wearie, and then shall yee reade: & when indeede yee are wearie of poring upon divine pages, for your re-creation yee shall weepe againe, that by that meanes yee may be fitted to reade againe. Next If at any time I give you leave to consult with the sister of mortalitie (as some times I fhall be necessitated to afford you a time of intermission by the persuasions of nature) be sure that yee stay not too long from your imployments; for my hast is greate, my businesse is of consequence: wee have onely a litle work to doe for the King of eternitie, and then wee shall be at ease. And yee, mine Eares, that have so often hearkened to the Syren songs of the vaine world, now bid yee adieu to your musicall harmonies, and ravishing concords; for I must lock yee up for a season: and hereafter yee shall heare a melodie beyond the tuning of the spheares; for the Quire of heaven shall ravish you with their Halelujah's. These Hands that so proudly hid themselves under the skinne of the kidde, and blushed when they were beheld by any lesse then an idolater, shall now entwine each other in a mutuall concord; and then revenging the quarrell of their sinnes upon my trecherous heart, they shall smite it, and thumpe it, and [Page 424] beate it untill they have mollified it; untill they have beaten that stone into flesh, and that flesh into water, and forced that water into teares for the sinnes of my whole selfe. Next my Tongue, mine un-toward, un-ruely, wanton tongue; my false, pick-thanke, telltale tongue, that couldest never find the way to tell the trueth, or not willingly, or not with delight; thou, for thy idle, thy prophane, thy wicked speeches, shalt send out nothing but cryes, and yells, and hideous dinus, and horrid screeches for thine offences: and if at any time I fhall, by thine obsequious service, be contented to trust thee with an articulate prayer, be sure that thou first take direction from my heart; Chanter in french signifieth to sing. Ps: 141 3. and then chant it out so lowde (but forget not discretion) that it may be heard up as high as the throne of my God. Be sure thou doest it, for I will have a watch over my mouth, and at the doores of my lipps, that I may be certaine thou offend nor. As for the rest of my selfe (since I cannot stay now to give every part a charge in particular,) I shall command them onely to attend the pleasure of my royall guest. Onely my thoughts I must commit to the tuition of my heart, allthough it formerly hath beene false unto mee: and desirous I am that they may be pressed, pressed downe with greate and heavie burdens. But I charge thee, ô my Heart, if ever thou hopest to be [Page 425] mine owne deere Heart, that thou suffer not an imagination, not a thought to come neere thee, but what shall be commended unto thee by religion, and what thou shalt dispatch to thy Maker.
And now I am prepared for thee: Wellcome ô my God. If my roomes are not cleane enough for thee I must intreate from thee both direction, and assistance to cleanse then. If any dust of wickednesse hath flowne about in the sweeping of them, I will now give my mind to wash my chambers with the teares of mine eyes; and that, I know, thou delightest in.
O thrice well-come blessed God. Wellcome, ô well-come my deerest Redeemer. O how truely did the Kingly preacher affirme that, Eccl: 7.2. It is better to goe to the house of mourning, then to goe to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all, and the living will lay it to heart! My house is shut up indeede; it is shut up for the infection; for feare of the infection; for feare lest others should infect my familie; or for feare lest my familie should be insectious to others. But what of all that? I am not the first that ever was shut up: I am not the onely one that ever was shut up. Lev: 13 4. vers: 5.The Leper in the law was to be shut up seaven dayes: and at the seaven dayes end when the Priest looked on him, if the plague in his sight were at a stay, and spreaded not in the [Page 426] skinne, hee was to shut him up yet seaven dayes more. This shutting up was rather for his cure, then intended for his hurt. Gen: 7.16. Noah was sayd to be shut up in the Arke; but it was for his preservation: and so may I be likewise. Ieremiah was shut up too; Ier. 32.2. yea in a prison, allthough his jayle was the house of the King: and yet, even at that time, hee was visited by the best; by one better then the King; even by God himselfe: for hee often spake to him in the time that hee was shut up. c: 33.1. Thus am I shut up; even in a prison made of my dwelling: I hope that my God will speake comfortably unto mee. I will hope that hee hath shut mee up as a jewell in a cabinet; in his care; in his tender compassion. If so, I am sure that noe evill shall come in unto mee, for hee is holy, hee is true, hee is powerfull who hath mee in keeping. Reu 3.7. Hee hath the key of David: hee openeth, and noe man shutteth; and hee shutteth, and noe man openeth True it is that sometimes hee shutteth out; as when hee shutteth out from his eares the prayers of his people. Thus the faithfull complaine by the mouth of the Prophet: Lam: 3 8. When I cry, and showte, hee shutteth out my prayers. Sometimes hee shutteth up; and that in judgment too; as Hee shutteth up the eyes of idolaters, Is: 44.18. that they cannot see; and their hearts, that they cannot understand. And sometimes man shutteth too, even when hee is forsaken of [Page 427] God: for so saith the wise King; A violent man shutteth his eyes, to devise froward things. Prov: 16.30. And againe, God is sayd sometimes in judgment to shut up, even heaven it selfe; as in a time of drought. Therfore Moses adviseth the Israëlites, saying, Deut: 11.16. Take heede to your selves that your heart be not deceaved, and yee turne aside and serve other Gods, and worship them: vers: 17And then the Lord's wrath be kindled against you, and hee shut up the heaven that there be noe raine, and that the land yeeld not her fruit, and lest yee perish quickly from off the good land which the Lord giveth you. But sure I am that allthough hee should shut mee up in judgment; yet hee, whose compassions faile not, Lam: 3.22. Hab: 3.2. vers. 5.in the midst of judgment will remember mercy. I know that in former times hee hath beene angry, and then before him went a Pestilence, and burning coales went forth at his feete. I know that once when the people of Israel had offended, then the sword was without, Eze: 7.15.and the Pestilence and the famine within: hee that was in the field was threatned that hee should die with the sword; and hee that was in the citty, famine and Pestilence should devoure him. I know that Elijah Prophesied against Iehoram in writing, saying, 2. Chr: 21.12. Thus saith the Lord, Because thou hast not walked in the wayes of Iehoshaphat thy father, nor in the wayes of Asa King of Iudah: vers: 14Behould [Page 428] with a greate plague will the Lord smite thy people, and thy children, and thy wives, and all thy goods:vers: 15And thou shalt have greate sicknesse by disease of thy bowells, untill thy bowells fall out by reason of the sicknesse day by day. Iob: 11.10. And I know allso that if hee cut off, and shut up, or gather together, none can hinder him. But what then? What though hee hath shut mee up? Shall I therfore rage, and rave like one distracted? c. 30.29. vers. 30 What though I am a sister to Dragons, and a companion to Owles? VVhat though my skinne should be black upon mee; and my bones be burnt up with heate? c. 3.3. Should I therfore cry, Let the day perish wherein I was borne; and the night in which it was sayd, There is a child conceaved? O noe: I will rather resolve with afflicted Iob: Though hee slay mee, yet will I trust in him. c. 13.15. Why should I offer to be dismayed? That God which dwelleth in the heavens hath taken up my house, and is come to sojourne with mee upon earth: I will speake in the phrase of a King: But will God indeede dwell on the earth? 1. King 8.27.Behold the heaven, and heaven of heavens cannot conteine thee: how much lesse this house of mine which thou now doest visit! O what a happinesse it is to have God for our visitant! Though hee cometh in wrath, yet is hee well-come. O let mee have my God any way, rather then not have him at all! If hee should [Page 429] not sometimes be angry with mee, I should suspect that hee loved mee not: but if for ever hee should be angry with mee, I should feele that hee loved mee not. Hee is never angry with mee, but when I am not angry with my selfe. I will soone therfore appease his anger by revenging my selfe upon my selfe, for the sinnes which I have committed against his glorious name. And if I cannot be revenged enough, I will cry for anger; even for anger that I cannot punish my selfe enough for displeasing him who thus honoureth my roofe. When the Israelites were to eate the Paschall lanb, Ex: 12.7. they were commanded to take of the blood thereof, and to strike it on the two sideposts, and on the upper doore-post of the houses wherein they did eate it:vers: 13And the blood (saith the Lord) shall be to you for a token upon the houses where yee are: and when I see the blood, I will passe over you, and the plague shall not be upon you to destroy you when I smite the land of Egypt. O here is comfort now in the midst of affliction: here is joy in the depth of sorrow. See, there there is that token: there is the blood on the doore, or at least, the representation of it; for the red Crosse is there. It is to mee for a token, or a memoriall of the blood of that innocent Lamb without spot, that was slaine, that was crucified on the Crosse [Page 430] for the sinnes of the elect. Now Lord doe what thou pleasest; spare, or strike; it shall be all one to mee, so long as thou givest mee a firme assurance that hee hath suffered for mee. I vallew not my flesh: I care not for this lumpe of walking dust: let it be blowne away; let this muddewall be throwne downe: it is noe matter; I am content, so long as I am sure that the anger of my God will be appeased by the blood of my Redeemer; and that so soone as my soule shall be freed from the prison of my flesh, I shall for ever sit on the right hand of my Iesus. Sure I am, that allthough my house be shut up because of the infection, yet my Christ will cleanse my soule with his blood. Therfore World farewell: shut up whom thou pleasest. Thy companie is not so good, nor thy courtesie so greate as to command my joy. Allthough my house here be shut up, yet hee which is faithfull hath promised that the gates of that new Ierusalem, Reu: 21 25. which is above, shall not be shut at all by day: and that there shall be noe night there. O let mee begge of my Lord, my Land-Lord; yea my guest, my friend, my brother, my father that (seeing I am a woman, a fearefull woman, wonderfully afraid especially of a serpent, c: 20.2. or a dragon) hee will be pleased to lay hold on the dragon, that old serpent which is the devill, and Satan; vers: 3.and bind him, and cast him into the bottomlesse pit, and shut him up, and set [Page 431] a seale upon him, that hee may deceave mee noe more. O how contentedly then shall I mourne! How joyfully shall I grieve for all the offences that ever I committed! Well; now my God is pleased to speake to my conscience, away will I goe in private, all alone, and cry in a corner. I will weepe by my selfe: away I will goe; and separate my selfe from my familie, yea even from him who is my head, and my Lord; that I may the more freely weepe. This I will doe, and this I may doe; for when Ierusalem had her great mourning, not onely every familie mourned apart, Zech: 12.12. but even their wives allso mourned apart. So will I: I will mourne apart too. But because I must not offer to offer unto my God such a present as a litle poore botle of teares, Ps: 56.8 and say nothing to him when I render it; humbly therfore upon my knees will I fall, and thus will I say unto him.
The Prayer.
GLorious, and ever-living Lord God, Ps: 75.5 who doest suffer the wicked to live in prosperitie; to be in noe trouble like other men, nor to be plagued like other men: but hast tould us that whomsoever thou lovest thou doest chasten, Heb: 12 6.and scourgest every child whom thou receavest: vouchsafe I beseech thee, to sanctifie this affliction which thou hast layed [Page 432] at this time upon mee and mine. 1. King 17.18.Thou art come, ô my God, to call my sinnes to remembrance: ô let mee not frustrate thine intent, not repell the motions of thy blessed Spirit. My selfe, and my familie are now shut up from the lewde temptations of the seducing world: Lord make mee at this time to looke into my selfe, into mine owne wicked and sinfull heart, which hath beene so long shu [...] up even from mine owne selfe, from mine understanding and my knowledge. This, o Lord, is thy time to speake: let it, I beseech thee, be my time to heare. My house is become a house of thy correction; and my selfe & familie are the offenders whom thou art pleased to chastise. Ier: 10.24. Ps: 88.7 Lord correct us, but with judgment, not in thine anger, lest thou bring us to nothing. Thy wrath at this time lyeth hard upon us; and thou afflictest us with all thy waves. Thou hast put our acquaintance farre from us: vers: 8.thou hast made us to be an abomination unto them: wee are shut up, and cannot come forth. Ps: 38.11. Our lovers, and our friends stand aloofe from us; and our neighbours stand afarre off. Ps: 88.9By reason of this affliction mine eye mourneth: Lord I call dayly upon thee, Ps: 69.15. Ps: 73.14. Ps: 69.3and stretch out mine hands unto thee. O let not the water-flood over-flow us; neither let the deepe swallow us up; and let not the pit shut her mouth upon us. All the day long are wee plagued, and chastened every [Page 433] day. I am wearie of crying; Ps: 69.3my throate is drie: my sight even faileth for wayting so long upon thee my God. Ps. 78.39. Ps: 91.3 O consider thy distressed servants, that wee are but flesh: & that wee are even a wind that passeth away, and cometh not againe. Deliver us, o Lord from the snare of the fowler, from the noisome Pestilence Either send unto us, or else be thou thy selfe unto us a staffe as well as a rodde; Ps: 23.4 Ps: 91.5 a supporter as well as a correctour, that so wee may not be afraid for the terrour by night, vers: 6.nor for the arrow that flyeth by day; nor for the Pestilenee that walketh in darkenesse; nor for the destruction that wasteth at moone-day. Prepare us, o Lord, for those heavenly mansions, where thy Sonne sitteth at thy right hand making intercession for us. Heare him pleading for our remission, and inter-ceding for our pardon. Out of his wounds have issued that pretious balsamome, which is able to cure the sinnes of the whole world. In him be pleased to be reconciled unto us: & since our times are in thine hands, Ps: 31.15. Lord either spare us for thine honour, or else receave us to thy mercy. Let the health of our bodies make us mindfull to labour for the health of our soules: and let the sicknesse of our bodies put us in mind of the diseases of our soules. Good God, either preserve us from sicknesse, or protect us in sicknesse. Be thou our God, and make us thy servants; and then come either with health, or with sicknesse; [Page 434] thy will be done. Ps: 91.7 Thou canst cause a thousand to fall at our side, and ten thousand at our right hand, and yet preserve us. Thou canst, if thou pleasest, vers. 10 so protect us, that noe evill may befall us; nor any plague come nigh our dwelling. O graunt therfore that wee may make thee our refuge; vers. 9. Ps. 38.6 yea thee who art the most high, our habitation. Wee are troubled, o Lord; wee are bowed downe greately; wee goe mourning all the day long. Ps. 102 9. vers. 10Wee eate ashes as it were bread, and mingle our drinke with weeping, because of thine indignation, and thy wrath: for thou hast lifted us up, and cast us downe. But o thou who art my onely rock, Ps. 42.9why hast thou forgotten us? O why goe wee thus mourning by reason of this affliction? Ps. 43.2 Thou art the God of our strength, Why doest thou cast us off? O give mee leave (with Queene Esther) to speake yet againe before thee the King of Kings, Est. 8.3 and to fall downe at thy feete (as shee did at the feete of King Ahasuerus) and to besiech thee with teares to with-draw thy visitation. Iob. 14 22. O Lord our verie soules within us doe mourne; for thou doest cause our Sunne to goe downe at noone; and doest darken our earth in the cleere day. Amos. 8.9. vers: 10 Thou hast turned our fasts into mourning; and all our songs into lamentation: thou hast brought sack-cloth upon our loynes; Lam. 5.15. vers: 16 and made our mourning as the mourning of an onely sonne. The joy of our hearts is ceased; and the crowne is fallen from our head: Woe unto us that wee have sinned. But [Page 435] ô thou who wert annointed to preach good tidings unto the meeke: Is: 61.1 who wert sent to bind up the broken-hearted; vers. 2.to proclame liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound: to proclaime the acceptable yeere of the Lord; yea and the day of vengeance of our God: to comfort all that mourne: vers. 3.to appoint unto them that mourne in Zion, to give unto them beawtie for ashes; the oyle of joy for mourning; the garment of praise for the spirit of heavinesse: Thou who settest up on high those that be low, Iob. 5.11. Ps. 102 17.that those which mourne may be exalted to safety: Reguard thou (I most humbly, and earnestly besiech thee) the prayers of us the poore destitute, & despise not our desires. Thou hast seene our wayes; Is. 57.18. O doe thou heale us: leade us allso, and restore comforts unto us, that wee may be called Trees of righteousnesse, the planting of thee our Lord, that thou mayst be glorified. Wound us not, Ier. 30.14. O father, with the wound of an enemie, with the chastisement of a cruel one, for the multitude of our iniquities. vers. 15 Let not our sorrow be incurable, because our sinnes be increased. Though for a small moment thou hast seemed to forsake us; Is. 54.7yet with thy greate mercies gather us againe. vers. 8. In aditle wrath thou doest hide thy face from us, for a moment; but with ever-lasting kindnesse have mercy upon us, ô Lord our Redeemer. O thou who [Page 436] art our Redeemer, vers. 5. Ps: 34.15. Is: 37.17.the Holy one of Israel, the God of the whole earth, Let thine eares be open unto our cryes: open thine eyes, and see our afflictions, how wee are shut up from the comforts of the godly, and from the societie of our indeared friends. Ps: 13.3 Consider, and heare mee, ô Lord my God: lighten our eyes lest wee sleepe the sleepe of death. Ps: 123.2.Behould as the eyes of servants looke unto the hand of their masters, and as the eyes of a mayden unto the hand of her mistresse: so our eyes wayt upon thee, ô Lord our God, untill thou have mercy upon us. O doe thou graunt unto us remisston of our sinnes; patience in our miseries; comfort in our distresse; physick for our health, and recoverie: and in thy blessed time, bring our soules out of prison, Ps: 142.7.that wee may give thanks unto thy name: which thing if thou wilt graunt unto us, then shall the righteous resort againe unto our companie.Ps: 79.13.So shall wee that be thy people, and sheepe of thy pasture give thee thanks for ever: and shew forth thy praise from generation to generation, world with-out end. Amen.
subject 15 THE FIFTEENTH SUBJECT. Teares of her who is visited with the Pestilence, being. • 1 Either wounded with a Sore. , and • 2 Or marked with the Tokens.
soliloquy 1 1. Teares of the visited, being wounded with a Sore. The Soliloquie.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, ô Lord; consider my meditation:
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
OH 't is come, 't is come. Ps. 55.4 My heart is sore pained within mee; and the terrours of death are fallen upon mee. See, See; What swelling's this? What rising's this? Oh, it is the messenger of death, and biddeth mee to enquire into my [Page 438] sinfull life. I am struck, oh I am struck to the heart. This is the impression of anger, and the blott of him who in his wrath may justly blott mee out of his wonted compassion. Yet let mee not despaire: let mee not be too much dismayd. While there is life, there is hope. The woman in the law who had gone aside to another man in-steed of her husband (whereof her husband was jealous, Num. 5.20. and brought her to her purgation) was to be charged by the Priest with an oath of cursing: vers: 21 vers: 22 upon whose drinking of water, her belly did swell, and her thigh did rott. Surely I have drunke none of that water: or if I have, it cannot hurt mee; for by that very law, vers. 28 the innocent escaped free from the punishment. I have never disbonoured my nuptiall bed; nor defiled my selfe with any other man, that this swelling should light upon mee. Yet (now I better consider of it) let mee not deceave my selfe. There is as well a spirituall, as a carnall adulterie. Even a virgin may be styled an adulteresse. Have I never turned from my God? Hath my soule never forsaken her deerest husband my blessed Redeemer, to commit a spirituall whoredome? O guiltie, guiltie: woe is mee, I cannot choose but pleade guiltie, to this my indictment. My conscience telleth mee that I have followed the temptations of the enemies of Christ I cannot tell how often: and justly therfore (I must confesse) may this swelling [Page 439] be my punishment; for greater then this, hath beene my due desert. Peraduenture to corect my pride, this thorne in my flesh may be a messenger of Satan, sent to buffet mee, 2 Cor. 12.7. as once Saint Paul had one sent unto him: for who of all our sexe is not guilty of this follie? Among us are the tender and the delicate women (such as were among the Israelites) who will not aduenture to set the sole of the foote upon the ground, Deut. 28.56.for delicatenesse, and tendernesse: and (not to flatter, or deceave my selfe) I may peradventure be one of them. Or if I have not had power to put in practise what I desired, yet it may be that my desire hath beene to be as delicate as the chiefest, and finest of our sexe.
Satan is sayd to have gone forth from the presence of the Lord, Iob 2.7. and to have smote Iob with sore boyles, from the sole of the foote to the crowne of his head. O that I were but halfe so righteous as was holy Iob, of whom God himselfe beareth witnesse that There was none like him in the earth; c. 1.8.a perfect, and an upright man; one that feared God, and eschewed evill! But alas I am noe such person; for I have, by my wickednesse, as it were taught the serpent to goe forth from the presence of the Lord, and to smite mee with this sicknesse, this rising, this swelling, worse then those boyles which infested Iob. David had a sore too, 1 Sam. 13.14. a running sore (allithough hee was a man after [Page 440] God's owne heart): Psa. 77.2. for so hee complained, saying, My sore ranne in the night, and ceased not; my soule refused comfort. But his Sore was not like unto mine: for his was in the fierce combat which hee had with distrust; and it may as well be meant that his hand by night reached out in prayer, and ceased not: or by that sore may be meant the running of his eyes, which dropped in the night for his grievous crimes, and ceased not; as well as an impostume, or ulceration. But mine is not such: it is a sore indeede, a carbuncle, a pestilentiall sore; allthough as yet it is not come to such maturitie as to doe as David spake of his. It is yet but a swelling, a hard swelling, a rising: and for its swelling, and for its hardnesse it may either be my very heart removed from the seate appointed it by nature: or else it may be sent to put mee in mind of the proud swelling, and the malitious hardnesse of mine impenitent heart. Alas, if I doe but seriously consider of that litle morsell of proude flesh, or rather stone, hard stone then flesh, that Adamantine heart, what have I not deserved for that wicked heart, which others were ever punished with? Worse, farre worse doe I deserve then ever did Iudah: I onely want a Prophet to lament mine estate as Isaiah did hers, for the judgements of God inflicted upon her for her rebellion, Is. 1.5. and to cry, The whole head is sick, and the whole heart is faint: [Page 441] from the sole of the foote even to the head there is noe soundnesse in it;vers. 6.but wounds, and bruises, and putrifying sores: they have not beene closed, neither bound up, neither mollified with oyntment.
But what shall I doe in this distresse? May not these poisoned humours that have conspired together in this present tumour; as well be some other disease, as the infectious Pestelence? Lord, how faine would sinners live in ignorance, and never either understand the offences which they have committed, or know the manner and the kind of their punishments! How faine would the sick delude themselves with a conceipt of health; and, hoping for life, cozen their knowledg with the falsehood of opinion! I cannot deny but it is the sicknesse which I am stricken with; the infectious sicknesse, the dreadfull Pestilence: and I can have noe hope of life if once it seizeth on my trembling heart. To prevent that danger therfore, since my heart hath hitherto beene, so stonie, so hard to entertaine the motions of the blessed Spirit, I will request it now to continue its obduracie, not against my greate God, but against this sad, and deadly sicknesse. What it hath usually reteined, allmost to the utter un-doeing and destruction of my soule, I will intreate it to continue now for the preservation of my body. Or if that will not doe; if it resolue to yeeld in this time of [Page 442] distresse, farre rather then I will seeke to that, I will humbly besiech my offended Lord to take possession of my heart: and if hee will vouchsafe to graunt my petition, then come what can come, I am sure I shall have comfort, because I shal have the societie of my God. But what if my heart be preserved from these malignant humours? Have I [...]hen any assurance that my disease is not mortall? Alas noe; but I must use the meanes, and besiech my God to give them his blessing. I must apply those things which will mollifie this swelling: it must be softened, be broken, be drawne, before it can be healed. Thus, even thus must I deale with my heart too. The malitious humours of sinne and corruption have allready assembled there, and caused it to swell. I will hasten therfore to Iob 's Physitian, Iob. 23.16. who softened his heart; and troubled him: and I will besiech him for Christ's sake to mollifie mine; for there are more then the seaven abominations of a dissembler in it. Prov. 26.25. Ioël 2.13. Hos. 10.12. Psa. 69.20. Ier. 4.4 I will pray him to rent it; to breake it; to breake up the fallow ground of it; for hee better can breake mine, then the miserie of repreach could breake the heart of the Prophet David. I will intreate him to take away the foreskinne of it, and to wash it from wickednesse, that so I may be saved, and that noe vaine thought may lodge in it. vers. 14. c. 17.10. I will request him to search it; that hee will lay [Page 443] some-thing to it; Is. 47.7 Ps: 147 3. even all the wickednesses that ever I have committed. Then, when hee hath broken it, I know that hee will heale it, and bind up the Wounds of it: for to this purpose hee sent his sonne, his onely-begotten sonne, my Redeemer, my Iesus; even to bind up the broken hearted. Is. 61.1. But when this greate cure shall be wrought for mee, what have I to render unto him by way of thankfullnesse? Alas nothing, even just nothing at all, unlesse hee will accept of that broken, yet therein that whole and cured heart. That, then shall be his, and I know that hee wil accept of it; for so saith David, that man after his owne heart; A broken, Act. 13.22. Ps. 51.17.and a contrite heart ô God thou wilt not despise. from the mallice of this heart doeth proceede the malignitie of this my disease; for sinne is the cause of every sicknesse. But all this while I doe but talke of this maladie; I sieke not for a remedie. Alas to whom shall I goe? To what physitian, or Chyrurgion shall I repaire? Lev. 13.2. I reade that if any man of the house of Israël had in the skinne of his flesh a rising, or a swelling, or a bright spott; and if it were in the skinne of the flesh like the plague of Leprosie, then hee was to be brought to Aaron the Priest, or unto one of his sonnes the Priests, vers. 3.and the Priest was to looke on the plague in the skinne of the flesh, and then to proceede according to order. Thus, under the Law, the Priests [Page 444] were the Physitians both for the body and the soule: where upon the Prophet Ieremiah complained, and accounted it as a greate judgment upon the people for their sinnes, that From the Prophet even to the Priest every one dealt falsely: Ier. 6.13. vers. 14they healed allso the hurt of the people sleightly. Hence allso another Prophet reproved them, Eze. 34.4. because. The diseased they had not strengthened; neither had they healed that which was sick; neither had they bound up that which was broken. Under the Gospel allso the Apostles were likewise Physitians for both: Mat. 10.1. for when Christ had called unto him his twelve Disciples, hee not onely gave them power against un-cleane Spirits, to cast them out; but allso to heale all manner of sicknesses, and all manner of diseases. Doubtlesse by this I am likewise taught, into whatsoëver sicknesse I fall, Psa. 110.4. Mal. 4.2. Make use of the prayer which followeth the next Meditation. whatsoëver disease I am visited with; first of all to goe to the Priest, to the Minister of God: first to examine my soule, before I looke for the cure of my body. To the Priest will I therfore goe; to the chiefe Priest, to the high Priest, to the chiefest and highest that ever was; even to him who is a Priest for ever after the order of Melchizedek: and humbly will I besiech him to teach mee to feare his name: and then I know that hee who is the Sunne of righteousnesse will arise with healing in his wings; and will make mee goe forth, and grow up as calves of the stall.
2. Teares of the visited, being marked with the Tokens. The Soliloquie.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation:
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
THere is a time to kill (saith Solomon) and a time to heale. Eccl. 3.3. O that time to kill is now come upon mee; but I know not how so much as to hope for the time of healing; for here I find the tokens of death, the markes of my mortalitie. This flesh, this sinfull flesh of mine, which hath beene so washed, so unguented, so smoothed and coloured, according to the choycest witt of art and industrie, hath now the staines in it of a contagious sicknesse. Where are now those admirers of comelinesse, & those idolatrous doaters upon the beawtie of women? Let them come and [Page 446] learne the vanitie of their opinions; & chide their simplicitie by these tokens of vengeance. O what a fraile thing is woman; easily deluded into a beliefe of her beawty, and as easily stricken with her owne deformitie!
But what doe these spotts meane to die my flesh, and strike such a deepe tinture in a smoothed sknne? Are diseases blind, that thus they fasten every where without either choyce, or exception? Vaine woman as I am, why doe I spend these minuits, these few and winged minuits alotted unto mee, in such impertinent quaeres? These blewish staines tell mee that I must provide to answer for my sinnes (yea shortly, speedily) before him who dispatched them hither unto mee. Death approacheth; mortalitie knocketh at my burdened heart. Lord, how heavie is my soule! Even as if it were allready at the greate tribunall, and pleaded guiltie of millions of enormities.
They have corrupted themselves (saith Moses by the Israëlites); Deut: 32.5. their spot is not the spot of God's children; they are a perverse, and crooked generation. Is there a spot then which even the children of God may be subject unto? Why then may not these be some of those spotts and my selfe be one of those children of God? Lord, how willingly, how greedily doeth every one strive to dye the death of the righteous! How easilie are wee apt, through ignorance, [Page 447] to dwell in the letter of the text, when wee should rather prie into a farther intent of the blessed Spirit! That spot of the children of God is not seated in the body, but in the soule; and that spot in the soules of the Israelites was chiefely Idolatrie. True it is that even the righteous have their stainei too; vers. 15 16.17. but not such bloaches, not such greate and fowle spots; or howsoever not of such a deepe tincture, not dyed so in graine as are those of the wicked: for they are washed out with the teares of sorrow through the blood of the Lamb. O that my spotts were onely in my skinne, and not in my soule; and that I could truely justifie my selfe in the language of Iob. Iob. 31.6. vers. 7. Let mee be weighed in an even ballance that God may know mine integritie. If any blott hath cleaved to my hands. But alas I cannot, I dare not. Yet if I could but come to a sight of my sinnes, and be truely humbled for them, then am I sure that hee who taught Iacob how to increase his flock of the speckled and the spotted, Gen. 30.39. Is. 1.18 would easily make mee white as wooll. But how, or upon what grounds can I expect his mercy, feeing all that I can suffer is not punishment enough for all that I have trespassed? Heb. 9.22.Without shedding of blood is noe remission, sayth the blessed Apostle. What comfort then can I expect, or what mercy can I hope for, seeing that my blood, my life is not of vallew enough to suffer what my sinnes have merited; much [Page 448] lesse to purchase remission of my sinnes? What now shall I doe? What hope can I have that my body should be freed from these spots of my disease, when I know not how to be freed from the pollutions of my soule? By the Mosaicall law If any one of the common people sinned against any of the commandements of God concerning things which ought not to be done, Lev: 4.27. vers: 32A Lamb without blemish was to be his offering, and so the atonement was made for the sinne, vers: 35and it was forgiven. Here yet was some ease for a distressed soule: the sinne was forgiven through the blood of the Lamb. But what hope have I of remission? That Law doeth noe longer stand in force: nor will the blood of a common Lamb be accepted for the least, the smallest offence. Yet Cheere up, O my drooping soule: Let my fainting spirits, and my sorrowfull heart take comfort in the middest of my deepe distresse: for there is a Lamb, Heb: 9.28. an innocent Lamb, a Lamb without blemish which once was offered to beare the sinnes of many. I am one of those many who have sinned, and why then should I not be one of those many too, whose sinnes hee hath borne? Lord make mee one of thy children through the merits of thy Sonne; and cleanse the pollutions of my Soule by the blood of that Lamb, even that Lamb of God which taketh away the sinnes of the world. Io: 1.29
But whilest I thus meditate upon the [Page 449] staines of my soule, my body biddeth mec to looke upon these un-wonted blemishes. Lord, how blewish they appeare! Surely if those doaters upon our sexe should see these spotts, they would forget their idolatrie, and tremble at the judgment. When Mordecay was cloathed in his blew and white, Est: 8.15. it is sayd that hee went in royall apparell. The apparell of my skinne mee thinks, doeth seeme to resemble the covering of his body; for here is the ancient white which nature conferred, and here is the blew come now too, sent mee from God. It is royall apparell, because it is sent mee by the King of glory: and it is well come too, 2. Cor. 1.3. because that glorious King is the father likewise of mercies, and the God of all consolation.Prov: 20.30.The blewnesse of a wound cleanseth away evill, saith the wise King Solomon. Surely hee meant not such a wound, such a spot as is each of these; for allthough these are blew, yet certainly they cleanse not; or if they doe cleanse, their cleansing concerneth nothing but my soule, they put mee in mind of that duety, for my time is short, and suddenly shall my poore soule bid fare-well to this corrupted, to this spotted body: but as for this body it cannot be cleansed, it may be ruined by these blewish wounds. Christ saith to his church, Thou art all faire my love; Cant: 4.7.there is noe spot in thee: and Saint Paul telleth mee how it cometh to passe that it is freed from spotts; [Page 450] for Christ (saith hee) gave himselfe for it, Eph. 5.25.that hee might sanctifie it, and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, vers. 26that hee might present it to himselfe a glorious church, not having spott, vers. 27or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy, and without blemish. Of this church am I a member; a poore, weake, unworthy member; and yet I have my spotts, my corruptions in my soule, which these in my body peepe out to remember mee of. But why did I not keepe the commandements without spot,1. Tim. 6.14.and unrebukeable? Why have I not kept my selfe un-spotted from the world? Iam 1.27. O for this, for this very cause am I now thus visited, am I now thus stained: and noe more am I able to take these prints out of my flesh, then the Ethiopian is able to change his skinne, Ier. 13.23.or the Leopard his spotts. Yet I have comfort in my redeemer; 1. Pet. 1 18. in him who hath redeemed mee (not with corruptible things, as silver, and gold) from my vaine conversation; vers. 19but with the pretious blood of himselfe, as of a Lamb without blemish, and without spott. Though my body therfore decay, yet I have a confidence that my soule shall live: I have an assurance of that; for hee who bringeth mee to a sight of these spotts, hath given mee likewise a sight of my sinnes (his name be for ever magnified for it); and mee think's they appeare a thousand thousand times more loathsome, more ugly in my soule, then these doe in my body. They [Page 451] are ten million of times more certainly mortall in their owne condition to my soule with out the mercy of my Iesus, then these are to my body. Yet if it might be safe for mee to expostulate with my God, I would say unto him in the lauguage of the Prophet, Ier. 15.18. Why is my paine thus perpetuall, and my wound in curable, which refuseth to be healed? Wilt thou be alltogether unto mee as waters that fayle? Hast thou utterly rejected mee? c. 14.19.Hath thy soule loathed mee? Why hast thou smitten mee, and there is noe healing for mee? I looke for peace, and there is noe good; and for the time of healing, and behould trouble. But if I should thus expostulate in the phrase of the Prophet, yet must I howsoëver conclude with the Prophet, and say, vers. 20 I acknowledg, ô Lord, my wickednesse, and the iniquity of my fathers; for wee have sinned against thee. Yet, mee thinks, these spotts will as hardly goe out of my mind, as out of my body. The expresse word of God to the Israelites was, Yee shall not make any cutting in your flesh for the dead, nor print any markes upon you: Lev. 1 [...] 28.I am the Lord. And good reason there was for this prohibition; for they were very apt to be led by the heathens, among whom it was a custome at the death of their friends to lament and cutt themselves: it was their manner allso to make incisions in their flesh, & to fill up the wounds with Stibium, or inke. [Page 452] But I, alas, doe find here such prints and markes in my flesh, as the very heathen themselves would have stood amazed at; yet these are notcarved by the violence of my selfe, but by the finger of my God. I must therfore content my selfe, and rejoyce at the sight of them, Iam: 1.17. since they proceede from him who is the father of lights (allthough they presage darknesse unto mee) for every good guift, and every perfect guift is from above. This guift does not seeme in it selfe to be either good or perfect but upon second, & more serious cogitations, if my true repentance ensue upon them, I shall find that they will hasten mee to the best good, to the chiefest perfection; even to the Kingdome which is purchased for mee by the blood of my Redeemer. Iob 16.12. Alas I cannot choose but cry out with Iob, and say, I was at ease, but hee hath broken mee asunder: hee hath allso taken mee by my neck, and shaken mee to pieces, and set mee up for his marke. Or with Ieremiah: Lam: 3.12. Hee hath bent his bowe, and set mee as a Marke for the arrowe. Or with Iob againe, through the extreamitie of my sorrow I am enforced to expostulate with my God, Iob 7.20. & say, Why hast thou set mee as a marke against thee, so that I am a burden to my selfe? But I will silence my selfe in his words againe, and say, I have sinned; What shall I doe unto thee, ô thou preserver of men?
When it pleased the All-mighty to preserve [Page 453] his children in the citty of Ierusalem, when the rest should be destroyed, hee commanded a man that was cloathed with linnen, Eze: 9.2. vers: 4. and had a writer's inke-horne by his side, to goe thorow the midst of the citty, thorow the midst of Ierusalem, and to set a marke upon the fore-heads of the men that sighed, and that cryed for all the abominations that were done in the midst thereof. A marke I have too; yea more then one, and one, and one, though not in my fore head; and they are set on as if they proceeded from the inke of the writer: but, woe is mee, I have either not cryed at all, or not enough either for mine owne sinnes, or for the abominations of Ierusalem: how then can I hope to escape the destruction? And yet hee that spared them, if hee please, can spare mee likewise: for his hand is not shortned, Is: 59.1that it cannot save; neither is his eare heavie, that hee cannot heare, 2. King 20.1. When Hezekiah was commanded to set his house in order; and it was tould him that hee should die, and not live; vers: 2.hee turned his face to the wall, and prayed unto the Lord, and wept sore: vers: 3. vers: 5. and presently Isaiah was sent unto him to tell him. Thus saith the Lord, the God of David thy father, I have heard thy prayer, I have seeno thy teares; behould I will heale thee: and I will adde unto thy dayes fifteene yeeres. vers: 6. Hee may be pleased to say unto mee too, as hee did unto Hezekiah; for I allso weepe; [Page 454] yea I weepe very sore: and I allso pray; yea I pray heartily, Ps: 22.19. and say, Be not thou farre from mee, ô Lord: ô my strength hast thee to helpe mee. But Hezekiah was more righteous then I am; 2. King 20.3. for hee walked before the Lord in trueth, and with a perfect heart, and did that which was good in his sight: Rom. 7 18. Num: 12.13. whereas in mee dwelleth noe good thing. But Miriam was a woman as I am, yea and sinfull; and yet when shee was Leprous, Moses cryed unto the Lord for her, and sayd, Heale her now ô God I besiech thee; and shee was shut out from the campe but seaven dayes, vers. 15 and was healed. O but shee had a Moses to pray for her, whereas I, alas, have none; I have noe such Moses to pray for mee. But what, shall I therfore remaine quite destitute of all hopes? Shall I despaire of the goodnesse, and the tender mercies of the most high? Noe; I may not; I must not; for that would but increase my sinne, & adde to my torments. The woman in the Gospel who for twelve yeeres space had an issue of blood, Mar: 5.25.and had suffered many things of many physitians, and had spent all that shee had and was nothing bettered, vers: 26 vers: 27but rather grew worse; shee onely came behind my Iesus, vers: 29and touched his garment; and straight way the fountaine of her blood was dryed up, and shee felt in her body that shee was healed of that plague. vers: 33 VVith that fearing and trembling woman therfore will I in like [Page 455] manner fall downe before him, and tell him all the trueth. I will confesse unto him all my sinnes; or, at least, so many as possibly I can call to my remembrance. Who knoweth but that hee may say unto mee as hee did unto her, vers: 34 Daughter thy faith hath made thee whole; goe in peace, and be whole of thy plague. I am resolved to take noe repulse. The whole multitude even the multitude of my sinnes shall not hinder mee, (though they rebuke mee) that I should hould my peace: but (with the blind man in the Gospel) I will cry so much the more, Lu: 18.39. Iesus thou sonne of David have mercy on mee. Or (if that prayer be too short) while hee shall prolong my time I will compose and settle my selfe to a larger forme, & earnestly fervently, zealously I will pray unto him, and say.
The Prayer.
O Eternall, and most mercifull Lord God, whose eyes are ten thousand times brighter then the Sunne, and yet thou vouchsafest to looke with thine eye of providence even upon the meanest of the children of men: Lu: 1.48. Ps: 38.9 reguard (I besiech thee) the low estate of thine afflicted hand-mayd. Thou knowest all my desires; and my groaning is not hid from thee. [Page 456] To thee the pollutions of my poore soule are more naked and open, then these spotts in my flesh are obvious to my sight. The fowlenesse of my corruptions have conspired with the infectious ayre to cause these staines in my skinn: and by them I am commanded to prepare for my dissolution. Lord if thou hast decreed by these meanes to free mee from this world of paine and miserie, be pleased to translate mee from hence to the joy of thee my Lord and Master. Mat. 25 23. Give mee (ô my father) a sight of mine imperfections: make mee loath them, and tremble at them, more then I doe at these messengers of death. Weane mee from the love of sinne by the consideration both of thy displeasure, & mine owne mortalitie. These spotts appeare like so many eyes, which seeme to stare mee in the face, and would affright mee with horrour: and all because I had not allways a consideration that thine eyes in every place doe behould the evill, Prov. 15.3.and the good. Blessed God give mee a sight of my corruptions, and a detestation of them; Ps. 51.9 and then turne thou thy face away from my sinnes, and blot out all mine iniquities. Speake peace, and health unto my wounded soule, which every minuit expecteth thy coming. Lord thou art a God who canst not abide to behould unrighteousnesse: looke not therfore with thy wrathfull eye upon mee who am all sinne. and pollution; but upon thy Sonne, and his [Page 457] sufferings. Or if thou canst not choose but looke upon mee, first cloath mee with the righteousnesse of that immaculate Lamb; so shalt thou see mee with love and delight, & I shall behould thee with unspeakeable joy. Prepare mee, o my God, that I may be a fit guest to be called and invited to the supper of the Lamb. Reu: 19.9. Seale unto my soule the remission of mine offences; and then make mee willingly to resigne up my body to thine owne disposing. Yet thou mayest speake the word (if so thou pleasest) and thy servant may be healed. Mat. 8.8. Luc. 17 15. There was a Leper in the Gospel who fell downe at thy feete, ô Iesus, giving thee thunks, vers: 16 and with a lowde voyce glorifying thy name, because thou hadst healed him. It is as easie for thee to restore mee in like manner, Hos: 5: 13. as thou didst that Leper. When Ephraim saw his sicknesse, and went to the Assyrian; & Iudah saw his wound, and sent to King Iareb; there was found noe healing, nor curing of the wounds: but those that come unto thee shall find that thou art both able & willing to heale all those that are broken in heart, Ps. 147 3.and to give medicine to heale their sicknesse; for unto Israël thou diddest proclayme thy selfe The Lord that healeth. Ex: 15.26. Psl. 6.2.Have mercy therfore upon mee ô Lord, for I am weake: ô Lord heale mee, for my bones are vexed. Ps. 41.3 Ier: 17.14.Strengthen mee now upon my bed of languishing: make thou all my bed in my sicknesse. Heale mee, o Lord, and I shall be [Page 458] healed; save mee, and I shall be saved; for thou art my praise. c: 30.12. O let not my bruise be incurable, though my wound be grievous. Let mee have one to pleade my cause, vers: 13 even that Holy One, thine onely begotten Sonne; that hee may bind mee up, and give mee healing medicines. Thou art hee who didst promise Iacob to correct him in measure, vers: 11 though not to leave him altogether unpunished. Thou rebukest mee for my sinne, Ps: 39.11. and makest my beauty to consume away like as it were a moath fretting a garment. These Markes in my flesh doe cause a trembling even in my spirit. Rev: 13.17. Ps: 86.16. Lord graunt that upon my soule be not found the marke of the beast, but the marke of thy sonne, that hee may owne mee for his. O turne thou unto mee, and have mercy upon mee: give thy strength unto thy servant, and save thy distressed hand-mayd. Shew now some good token for good, vers: 17 that it may appeare unto the world that thou Lord doest helpe mee, and comfort mee. But if in thy secret purpose thou hast decreed at this time to gather mee unto my fathers; make mee with joy & comfort to render mine account unto thee the Lord of heaven & earth. Looke not upon the sinnes and offences of my misse-led life; but rather looke upon my Redeemer's death, Is: 53.5 who was wounded for my transgressions; bruised for mine iniquites: the chastisement of my peace was layed upon him: by his stripes therfore let mee be healed. In the [Page 459] midst of the streete of thy throne, ô God, Reu: 22.2. & of either side of the river of life there is a tree of life bearing twelve manner of fruits; and the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. O my God let mee but come to tast of those fruits: let mee but be shaded under the leaves of that tree of life. Ps: 41.4. Ps: 103 1.Be mercifull unto mee: heale my soule, for I have sinned against thee. Then shall my soule blesse thee O my Lord: and all that is within mee shall praise thy holy name who forgivest all mine iniquities, vers: 3.and canst heale my diseases. Into thine hands I commend my spirit, Ps: 31.5 for thou hast redeemed mee ô Lord, thou God of trueth. The Spirit and the bride say Come; Reu: 22.17. therfore let mee who now heare it, say Come. Let mee heare thy voyce; ô God, Gen: 3.8. in the coole of the day; not in the heate of thy displeasure. And thou, ô my Iesus, who for such sinners wert made a sacrifice on the altar of the crosse; how downe thine eare as thou didst upon the tree, and heare, and fullfill the desires of thy wounded supplicant. Come ô Iesus, and embrace mee in thine armes: hide mee in thy wounded side from the wrath of thy father. In thee alone doe I trust: to thee alone doe I flee: succour mee, helpe mee, save mee, O Christ. The world I leave: to thee I come. At the doore of thy mercy doe I knock, I call, I cry. Lord protect mee: Iesus comfort mee. Strengthen my faith; and confirme my hope. [Page 460] As my earthly body draweth neerer to the earth; so doe thou draw my soule up neerer unto thee who art the father of spirits. Heb: 12 9. O God make speede to save mee. O Lord make hast to helpe mee. Finish soone these dayes of sinne, and then let mee enter into thy celestiall paradice; and that for his sake in whom alone thou art well pleased, even Iesus Christ my onely Mediatour, and Redeemer. Amen.
subject 16 THE SIXTEENTH SUBjECT. Teares of a Mother for the sicknesse of her child.
The Soliloquie.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, ô Lord; consider my meditation.
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
IT shall come to passe (saith Moses to the house of Israel) if thou wilt not hearken to the voyce of the Lord thy God, Deut: 28.15.to observe to doe all his commandements, and his statutes which I command thee this day; that all these curses shall come upon thee, and overtake thee: vers: 16Cursed shalt thou be in the citty, and cursed shalt thou be in the field: Cursed shall be thy basket, and thy store: vers. 17 yea Cursed shall be the fruit of thy body, &c. vers: 18 [Page 462] What, all these curses from heaven for the sins of poore distressed mortalls? O what a multitude of evills doe our sinnes deserve! What punishment doeth not iniquitie cry for? It cryeth for the curse of the citty, the decay of trading; the curse of the field, whole rivers of blood in furious battailes; the curse of the basket and the store, the dearth of provisions. Yet all these are but outward punishments, and reflect onely upon the baser, the worse part of our selves, the body: but Cursed shall be the fruit of the body: oh this biteth like a Serpent, & stingeth like a Cockatrice. Prov: 23.32.The fruit of my body Is afflicted with sicknesse: but is the sinne of the parent the cause of his affliction? Yes, yes: my conscience acknowledgeth the guilt; let my tongue be as ready to confesse it, and my heart to repent of it. But how standeth this with the justice of the Creatour? Gen: 18.25. Shall not the judg of all the earth doe right? The Prophet Ezekiel telleth mee from God that The sonne shall not beare the iniquity of the father; Eze: 18 20. Mich: 7 6. Ier: 9.20.neither shall the father beare the iniquity of the sonne; but the soule that sinneth, it shall dye. Else the daughter might rise up against her mother (as saith the Prophet) and the women (by reason of the vengeance due for their sinnes) might teach their daughters wayling, c: 31.29. Rom: 3 4. if the sowre grapes which the parents have eaten should set their childrens teeth on edge.
But let God be true, and every man a lyar, [Page 463] that hee may be justified in his sayings, and may over-come when hee is judged. Hee it is who hath threatned to visit the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate him. The sinne is mine; Ex: 20.5. but the punishment is mine infant's: & againe the sinne is mine infant's; and the punishment is mine. And yet farther; The sinne is of and from both; and the punishment is inflicted upon both, His sufferance is my sorrow; and his paines my distresse. Lord what a due reward of sinne is punishment! My child as yet (it may be) knoweth not sinne; and yet is hee punished hee knoweth not for what. I know sinne; & yet I stand not affrighted, not amazed at the punishment thereof. Mat. 5.44. I am commanded to love mine enemies; but doubtlesse sinne is excepted for such an enemie I am bound to hate. Ps. 139 22. Ps: 97.10. O that I could hate it right sore, even as mine enemie! It is the Psalmist's charge, O yee that love the Lord, see that yee hate the thing that is evill. Could I thus doe, it would bring peace to my selfe; and likewise might bring health to my babe. Oh I now feele the sting of my sinne piercing his body; and the malignitie of my corruption breaking out in his disease. Adam in innocency knew noe paine: but by reason of his fall, diseases are become the fruit of the fruit. 2. King 5.27. vers: 23Gehazy for sinne was visited with the disease of Naaman the Syrian: and his two talents of silver, and two changes of raiment [Page 464] burdening his conscience more then the bodies of his servants, 2. Chr: 21.18. vers. 4. bought him the Leprousie. The fire that Iehoram felt in his bowells made him sensible of the punishment for his want of compassion to his brethren whom hee slew with the sword. Ex: 9.10. The hardnesse of Pharaoh's heart made the ashes to turne into boyles, and blaines in his body. 1. Cor: [...]1.30. The Corinthians not discerning the Lord's body, were therfore stricken with sicknesse, weakenesse, and death. Hee that was encompassed by the bulls of Basan, Ps: 22.12. Ps: 38.8 vers: 3. complained that hee roared for the disquietnesse of his heart: but with all hee saith, There is noe health in my flesh because of thy displeasure; neither is there any rest in my bones by reason of my sinne. Lord how thou doest use mee and my child as Gideon did once the Elders of the citty; Iud: 8.16. thou doest scourge mee with briers and thornes of the wildernesse!Gen: 3.18.The earth, for the sinne of man, was cursed with the production of them; and wee, for sinne, are scourged with that curse. Yet the briers and the thornes scratch but the body of my languishing infant; but they even teare the soule of mee his sad & sorrowfull mother. Yet I fast with David, 2. Sam. 12.22. and I weepe with David, and I cry with David, Who can tell whether God will be gratious to mee, that the child may live? This litle lumpe of sinfull clay lyeth at the mercy of him that is the potter. It is framed, it is shaped into a body; into a vessell: but diseases would crack it; sicknesse [Page 465] would breake it. At the taking of a besieged towne that would not yeeld, though the men were to be smitten with the edg of the sword, Deut: 20.14. yet the women and the litle ones were appointed to be spared. Lord I am one of those women; my child is one of the litle ones. Conquer thou, but spare: take us, but preserve us. Thy mercy to heathen, could not be greater then it can be to Christians.
Lord what shall I doe? The infant still cryeth; and still the parent weepeth. Sicknesse enforceth the cryes of the child; and the cryes of the child enforce the parents teares. O how my bowells yerne, and burne, and frie with in mee; and yet noe ease doeth come to my sweetest babe; noe comfort to my languishing child! I reade that Christ did chide his disciples for rebuking those who brought the litle ones unto him; and hee sayd, Suffer litle children, Mat: 19 13. vers. 14and forbid them not to come unto mee; for of such is the Kingdome of heaven. To him, to him therfore will I goe, and tender this youngling. But, alas, how can a begging present be acceptable unto him? With what confidence can I give him this child, when the offering is onely a guiftlesse guift? Mine intent is not to loose, but to gaine: to give, but not to leave my child: to offer him to God, but in hope that hee will spare him a litle while with mee. And his indeede hee is: hee hath beene his ever since hee was offered unto him [Page 460] [...] [Page 461] [...] [Page 462] [...] [Page 463] [...] [Page 464] [...] [Page 465] [...] [Page 466] in the temple; Rom: 6 4. ever since hee was buried with him by baptisme. But perhaps hee hath since that time beene lost, and strayed from him: I will therfore take him in mine armes, and cary him home againe, I will carie him by water, for now it is highflood; 'tis a springtide; mine eyes are full. Wee will swimme together to my Iesus; & of him I will begge I will cry for, I will prevaile for his pardon. I know that my Saviour will heare; and hee will be ready allso to forgive. Hee will forgive my child that ranne away from him; and hee will forgive mee my running with my child: and when hee hath forgiven, hee will certainely remitt the eternall punishment; &, it may be, the temporall likewise. But how dare I, who am the greatest delinquent, to goe with my child the lesser sinner? How dare I to shew my face to him, or appeare in his presence? His child (it is true) I am, as well as my babe: but I have allso offended him as much as my babe: yea more; a thousand thousand thousand, million of millions of myriads of times more then hee. This child as yet doeth know noe malice, noe guile noe hypochrisie, noe enuie noe evill speaking: but I alas, not onely know all, but allso I harbour all, I foster all, I embosome all; and yet my God saith unto mee (by the mouth of his Apostle) as well as unto others, 1 Pet: 2 1.Laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypochrisies, [Page 467] and envies, and evill-speakings,vers. 2.As new-borne babes desire yee the syncere milke of the word that yee may grow thereby. His child I am, but (woe is mee) I have not this long while sucked of the breasts, the two testaments; or not eagerly; or not so understandingly as hee commandeth mee to doe, when hee sayth, Be not children in understanding; 1. Cor. 14.20.howbeit in malice be yee children. O how infinitely worse am I then this my child! Hee is humble, but I am prowde, and haughty, and high-minded; Mat. 18 2. yea though I know that Christ called once a litle child (peradventure just such a litle child as mine is) and set it in the midst of his disciples, and sayd, verely I say unto you, vers. 3.Except yee be converted, and become as litle children, yee shall not enter into the Kingdome of heaven: vers: 4.Whosoever therfore shall humble himselfe as this litle child, the same is greatest in the Kingdome of heaven. The least, mee think's, I faine would be; I would faine be greatest; the greatest in the Kingdome; yea the greatest in the Kingdome of heaven: but the first I like not so well; it suites not so well with wy disposition; I would not be humble. Though I am as litle as was Zacheus, Lu: 19.4. yet I would be as high as was Zacheus too; yea though I climb up into a tree for it. Yea I doe climb; and into a tree too: O it is the tree of mine owne pride, and vanitie; which beareth leaves, goodly, broade, shadowing leaves; but it beareth noe fruit at [Page 468] all, nothing but keyes; and those keyes are fitted onely for the wide gate that leadeth to destruction; Mat. 7.13: they will never un-lock the gates of heaven. This child is young; hee is a babe; a babe in age; a babe in growth. I am a babe; not in age, not in growth; but such a one as the Corinthians were to whom the Apostle wrote, 1. Cor. 3.1. and sayd that hee could not speake unto them as unto spirituall but as unto carnall even as unto babes in Christ. My child is young, and tender, and simple; apt to be led with trifles; to stragle abroad with children; to be caried any whither, at the pleasure of her to whose charge hee is left. I am a child too; a verier child then mine owne; apt to be tossed to and fro, Eph. 4.14.and caried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftinesse whereby they lye in wayt to deceave. And now what shall I doe? I am the verier child of the two, the most sinfull of the two; and yet my child is afflicted with sicknesse, and to mee noe other punishment is at present alotted but the griefe which I have for the sicknesse of my child. Hee still cryeth; still must I therfore cry. Hee groaneth; and I must allso groane. Yea I doe groane; I groane in spirit, that my Iesus may cure the diseases of my soule. I groane too for my child, my prettie sweete babe, that my Iesus may howsoever cure the infirmities of his soule; and (if hee so pleaseth) recover allso the health of his body. [Page 469] This must be the way: to him I must thus goe, Io. 14.6 Ps. 30.8 for hee himselfe hath styled himselfe the way. I will therfore cry unto the Lord; and get mee unto my Lord right humbly. I will goe to the gate of the physitian, the gate of mercy; and there I will knock, and call, and cry for entrance. I will fall upon my knees, and wring my hands, and smite my breast; Is. 38.14. and weepe and mourne like a Crane and chatter like a Swallow, even untill mine eyes faile with looking upward: and thus will I say unto him.
The Prayer.
GReate God, whose power is irresistable, and whose pleasure is the rule of thy servant's obedience: bow downe thine eare to my sad intreaties. Thou hast stricken mee with sorrow, who have not mourned for the cause: and by the sicknesse of mine infant thou hast taught mee the frailtie of our mortall bodyes. I see that all flesh is as grasse; 1. Pet. 1.24.and the glory thereof but as the flowre of the field. Mine impenitent heart (I must confesse) deserveth thy justice; and my sinfull life this punishment of my tender infant. But thou, ô Lord, art mercifull, though I am sinfull: and art apt to forgive those that truely repent. O my God I desire to be sorrowfull for mine offences: and earnestly I besiech thee to give mee true contrition for all my [Page 470] sinnes. Iob. 7.20. O thou preserver of men, remitt both my sinnes, and the punishment which is justly due unto mee for them; that I may rejoyce in thy mercy, and magnifie thee for thy goodnesse. Looke gratiously upon this child who feeleth the scourge (though gently) of thy justice due both for his, and for my transgressions. O let not thy wrathfull displeasure continue upon him: nor my greater crimes cause an addition unto his torments. Thy servant David confessed his sinnes, and submitted to thy rod: but yet hee cryed concerning his people, 2. Sam. 24.19. and sayd, These sheepe what have they done? I dare not justifie this thy patient; but I must needes acknowledg that for mine iniquities as well as for his thou thus doest wound him. But ô thou who didst once command, Mat. 19 14. that litle children should be brought unto thee; & didst prefer them for patternes both of innocency, and humilitie: shew now thy power in the weakenesse of this child. Enable him with patience to endure thy visitation: and direct mee to the meanes which may conduce to his recoverie, if thou in thy secret decree hast so determined it. Ps. 6.2. Have mercy upon him ô Lord, for hee is weake: ô Lord heale him, and free him from his sufferings. Thou art hee that tookest him out of my wombe; Ps. 22.9. Ps. 9.13. Ps. 41.2. and canst as easily (if thou pleasest) lift him up now from the gates of death. Preserve him, ô God, (if it may be thy heavenly pleasure) [Page 471] and keepe him alive, that hee may be blessed upon earth: ô heale his soule, and raise him up againe. Give a blessing to the meanes which shall be used for his recovery; Ps. 119 91. Ps. 56.8 that all things in their order may be knowne to serve thee. O let the teares of mee thine afflicted supplicant be put into thy botle; and let the cryes of mee thy mournefull hand-mayd, who beg for this infant, be heard in the eares of thee the Lord of hosts. Thou thy selfe didst weepe, ô Christ, Io. 11.35. for the death of Lazarus: take compassion therfore on the weeping mother of this diseased child. O let not my teares be shed in vaine; but mercifully free this infant from his anguish, and sufferings. Yet howsoëver thou hast decreed, righteous father not my will, Mat: 26.39. Ier: 10.24.but thy will be done. Onely let mee besiech thee to visit him in mercy, and not in thy fury; lest he be consumed, and brought to nought. Make him able to beare what thou determinest to send; and in thy good time raise him out of this miserie. Lord give mee allso a willing submission to thy holy pleasure, that so I may neither discover too much fondnesse of affection to this my beloved issue, when I see him subject to frailtie and mortalitie: nor too immoderately grieve, if thou receavest him to thy selfe. Forgive whatsoëver is amisse, in him; and let his soule de deare, and pretious in thy sight. O Let thy mercy pleade against thy severitie; let thy gratious promises [Page 472] be had in thy remembrance: and let thy Christ be heard in his intercession both for mee and mine. To thy will, ô Lord, make mee readily submitt: to thy holy pleasure make mee willingly yeeld. Thine is this infant, Ps: 39.13. and thou lentest him mee: ô spare him a litle that hee may recover his strength before hee goe hence, and be noe more seene. To thy pleasure, ô heavenly father, I willingly refer him, besieching thee to send him thy grace while hee shall remaine upon earth; and after that, receave him into glory, for the worthinesse of thine onely begotten Sonne Iesus Christ our onely Lord, and Saviour. Amen.
subject 17 THE SEAVENTEENTH SUBjECT. Teares of a Mother for the death of her child.
The Soliloquie.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, ô Lord; consider my meditation.
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
WHen all wept, Luc: 8.52.and bewayled the litle daughter of Iairus, my Iesus forbad their teares, saying, Shee is not dead, but sleepeth. O sweete comfort to the lamenting mother, whose onely daughter should returne from the dead. Shee that had shed the teares of sorrow for the losse of her joy, was then to shed teares of joy for the recoverie of the deceased. But I weepe, and weepe, Lam: 1.2. and continually weepe; the teares are on my cheekes; for my [Page 474] child is dead, & I have noe hope of receaving him againe to life. I, alas, am not the wife of a ruler of the temple: I have noe Iesus here in the flesh to worke such a miracle for mee. My poore child is dead; and (hopelesse, and helplesse as I am) there is noe recovering, there is noe recalling him. Yet stay: howsoever I will call; I will cry; mee think's hee should not be dead: who knoweth but my sweete babe may heare mee? Who knoweth but my Redeemer may awake him againe? The daughter of Iairus was dead to her parents; but shee was not dead to the Messias, Hee who will one day awake the dead, and rowze them from the graves, can now (if hee pleaseth) speake as powerfully to my babe. My Saviour can; for hee himselfe is neither dead, nor sleepeth. True it is that once hee dyed; yea hee dyed for mee; and so for mine infant too: but hee rose againe, and from thence-forth can die noe more; Rom: 6 9.death hath noe more dominion over him. This living Saviour of mine may (if hee please) restore my dead child. I will call him: peradventure hee may awake. Sonne, ô my sonne, my child, my love, my joy, my dearest infant; where art thou? Where strayest thou? Whither wanderest thou? Returne, returne litle Saint, and cheere up the drooping spirits of thy fainting mother. What, noe answer? Noe speech? Not so much as a groane, or a [Page 475] sigh? Will this frozen clod of earth be noe more [...]he carkenet of his immortall soule? Oh hees fled; hee's gone; hee's past re-call: alas what shall I doe? Is this the blessing of the womb, [...]o enjoy a child for a yeere or two; and then [...]o have it hasten to the womb of the earth? Is this the joy, the delight that women have in the fruit of their bodies; Gen: 3.16. onely to conceave in sorrow; to travell in anguish; and when they are delivered, after a yeare or two to be bereft of them in a moment? Could not thousands of kisses, and dandlings, and dauncings: nay could not sckreeches, and groanes, and cryes call back my child? Alas, noe: I see they could not: all was in [...]aine. Hee who called Lazarus from the grave, hath called my litle one to the grave. His soule is with him; and nothing now but his body is left, with mee. From him I would not pluck him, mee think's, if I might; for hee's at peace with him. From mee, mee thinks, I would not have had him call him; for hee knoweth how I loved him: and yet his will, not mine must be fullfilled. O that I could so rest satisfied with the rest of my sweete infant! But why doe I onely wish so? I must likewise practise it, Act. 5.29. lest happily (as Gamaliel sayd unto the Iewes) I be found even to fight against God. I will therfore resolve with David, and say, 2 Sam. 12.23. Now hee is dead wherfore should I fast? Can I bring him back againe? [Page 476] I shall goe to him, but hee shall not returne to mee. I shall goe, when hee who keepeth my child in his armes shall be pleased so to embrace mee likewise, and to seate mee in his Kingdome by my dearest child. Why then should I enuy my litle one the joyes of eternitie? If I weepe too much, I may discover a discontent at his highest preferement. If I truely loved him I shall never enuy him, allthough I shall desire that to those heavenly mansions I may certainly follow him. Young hee was while mine hee was; very young; tender; weake: and yet as young as hee was, hee now is suddenly growne older then my selfe: hee is my better; hee is my senior, and hath gotten before mee into glory. Yea and his passage thither was fayre, and gentle too, if I consider his sinnes which hee suffered for onely in his sicknesse. His rich soule espied a crevise, a chinke, a flaw in his muddie earth made by his disease, and so escaped; flew away; even with the wings of that dove, that blessed Spirit, Ps: 55.6 which David panted for, and wished for, and cryed for, saying, O that I had the wings of a dove; Gen. 7.1. King 13.24. 2. King 2.24. Num: 21 6. Gen: 19 24.for then would I flee away, and be at rest. Had my child beene drowned, as was the ould world; or torne in pieces by Lyons, as was the disobedient Prophet; or by Beares, as were the fortie and two children that mocked Elisha; or stung with Serpents, as were the murmuring Israëlites; or burnt with [Page 477] fire and brimstone, as were Sodome and Gomorrha; or swallowed up quick by the yawning, num: 16.33. act: 12 23. gaping, devouring earth, as were Corah, Dathan, and Abiram; or had hee beene smitten by the Angel of God, and eaten up of wormes, of vermine, as was Herod Agrippa; then my griefe indeede might have beene increased; my sorrowes might have beene multiplyed: & yet at length (if it had beene so) I ought to have beene contented: at length (if I belong unto him to whom my child is gone) I must have taken up the resolution of patient, of holy, of devout Iob, and have sayd, The Lord gave, Iob. 1.21.and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord. But my God hath beene more mercifull both to mee, and mine; for hee made much of my child; and finding him a litle froward, a litle wayward, a litle unquiet, hee gently layed him downe to sleepe. Hee sent a gentle disease to rock him, to sing him to sleepe. And seing that hee thus gently, thus securely sleepe's in God, even in that God who never sleepeth, surely whilest I awake I will sing, and give praise, My glory shall awake; Ps: 57.8my Lute and Harpe shall awake; all my joyes, all my pleasures, all my contents shall awake, and praise him, and magnifie him for ever. And yet (for all this my resolution, for all my serious purpose thus to doe) I find that in my musick I stop upon a fret. That sudden [Page 478] sigh stole from my heart unawares. It may be that it was ashamed to stay there; and so slanke away. What, another? Nay, this is too much. King Solomon telleth mee that there is a time to weepe; Ecc: 3.4. but hee doeth not tell mee that that time must continue so long as I continue here upon earth. What though I am a traveller? I must some-times rest. What though I am an exul, a stranger, a sojourner here, as all my fathers were? I must have a lodging, I must have a chamber, I must have a roome; and in that roome, and in that chamber I may, I must have some rest. Yea and I must have some delight in it too; and that not on [...]e alone, but continually: for so I am commanded by the Apostle, Phil: 4.4. who saith, Rejoyce in the Lord allways and againe I say rejoyce. Diverse indeede for diverse causes have wept; but they have not allways wept. Gen: 27.38.Esau lifted up his voyce, and wept: but it was for the losse of his father's blessing. The Elders of Ephesus wept, Act: 20 38. 2. Chr: 35 25. yea they all wept sore; but it was sorrowing most of all for the words that Paul had spoken unto them, that they should see his face noe more. A mourning I reade of that was in Hadadrimmon in the valley of Megiddo, when Ieremiah lamented; and all the singing men and the singing women spake of their King in their lamentations, and made them an ordinance in Israel. That was for Iosiah, who was slaine by the [Page 479] armie of Pharaoh Necho, in the valley of Megiddo. In Ramah was a voyce heard, Ier: 31.15.lamentation, and bitter weeping. Rachel weeping for her children, because they were not. This mee thinks come's home close, neere to mee. This was for the captivitie of Iudah and Benjamin: or it was for the infants slaine by that bloody, that presecuting Herod. Here are children lamented; so farre the cause of the weeping complyeth with mine. But neither is my child slaine by a murderer; nor yet is hee lead into captivity. Noe; Eph: 4.8. hee who did leade captivitie captive, hath freed my sonne from the fetters, Rom: 8 21.from the bondage of corruption, into the glorious liberty of [...]he sonnes of God. My child was not slaine as were all the children that were in Bethlehem, and in all the coasts thereof,Mat: 2.16.from two yeares ould, and under. Noe; Hee who was slaine for him hath saved him. Hee who hath swallowed up death in victory, Is: 25.8 Hos: 13 14. hath ransomed him from the power of the grave, and redeemed him from death. Lord, though I am a weake, though a sinfull woman, make mee for ever to praise thee for this thy goodnesse; Ps: 107 8.and to declare the wonders that thou hast done both for mee, and mine. When the woman of Samaria came to draw water at Iacob's well, my bountifull Iesus freely gave her to drike of the living water, Io: 4.14. which became in her a well of water springing up into ever-lasting life. [Page 480] I am such a woman as shee was: mine eyes have resembled the mouth of Iacob's well: and though the well be deepe, even deepe as my heart, yet some-thing I have had to draw the water with. My child, mine infant hath drawne, and drawne, untill I am even allmost drawne drie: And in this agonie, and in this distresse my Christ hath come to cleanse my well, to sanctifie my teares, and to ease mee of my griefe. 1. King. 3.26. My bowells indeede did yearne upon my child, as that woman's did whose issue should have beene divided for the satisfaction of the harlot. My child is divided, though hers were spared. The better part of him, the soule is gone; it is gone to God; for his it is, it is his owne share: nothing but the earth of him remaineth with mee. But I will, I must be thankfull: and though I find a reluctance in my chillowed heart, yet the Prophet forbiddeth weeping for the dead, Ier: 22.10. and bemoaning of them. Let mee begge for patience, for submission, for content, and say.
The Prayer.
BLessed Lord God, Ps: 68.20. unto whom belong the issues from death; vouchsafe to heare the cry of thy mourning hand-mayd. Thou wert pleased once to blesse mee with increase; [Page 481] and to make mee a joyfull mother of my now dead infant. But oh that, that very child which was framed and fashioned by thee, is now come unto thee. The first that sinned was a woman, tempted by the Serpent; Gen. 3.13. and that Serpent in his temptation stung so deepe that it hath reached now even to the fruit of my wombe for the sinnes of my selfe. Yet Lord looke downe in mercy upon mee, though a sinfull woman; though the most unworthy of my sexe; Mat. 15.28. even farre inferiour to that woman of Canaan: for herfaith was greate, but I alas, have noe faith at all; or but a weake one, or but a dead one: otherwise the promises of my Redeemer would controul my passion, and the assurance of his mercies would dry up my teares. Thou, ô Lord, hast freed mine infant from the burden of the flesh; yet I goe heavily for it, as if it were lost in my despaire. Thou hast crowned it with immortalitie; and yet my passion declareth that I mourne as if it were lost. Ps: 38.9 O Lord God thou knowest all my desires; and my groaning is not hid from thee. Thou seest how my teares doe flow through mine infirmitie: thou hearest my sighs which arise from my dis-content. I confesse it, I am sorrowfull for it, I am ashamed of it: Act. 7.60. Lord lay not this sinne to my charge. Thou hast taken nothing but thine owne: O be pleased so to make mee thine owne by grace; and then shall I be assured (in thine owne due time) to be [Page 482] receaved into glory. Allay the heate of my passion by the pleasant gales of thy refreshing Spirit. Graunt that my teares may be kept for my sinnes; & my sad laments for my deplorable condition through my many offences. My heart is heavy for the losse of my child; ô Lord lighten it, ô Lord ease and comfort it with thy heavenly grace. Ps: 94.19. In the multitude of sorrowes which I have in my heart, let thy comforts, ô Lord, refresh my soule. My child (thou knowest) was deare unto mee, because it was thy pleasure to lend him unto mee. Hee was, and hee is deere unto thee; and thou hast expressed thy love in delivering him fron the evill, 1. Thes. 1.10. 2. Tim: 2.11. from the wrath to come. Hee is deal in Christ; Lord let mee be dead with Christ, that I may allso live with Christ. My child is dead because hee was sinfull; but his uttermost farthing was discharged by Christ. O thou who art rich in mercy, Eph: 2.4.for the greate love wherewith thou hast loved man-kind, graunt that I may not dye in sinne, but to it; that so I may be quickened together with thy Sonne. Make mee to yeeld my selfe unto thee, Rom: 6 13.as those that are alive from the dead; and my members as instruments of righteousnesse unto thee my God. Forgive my excesse of love to him that is gone; my excesse of teares and sighs that have beene caused by his departure; my want of patience, and submission to thy holy pleasure; and my raging out-cryes which have given an evill example [Page 483] of impatience unto others, & a scandall to [...]y religion. It was thy pleasure to free mine [...]nfant from the tyrannie of sinne: it was thy [...]ove, it was thy mercy to take him, that so hee [...]ight sinne noe more. Lord unto thy will [...] submit my will: and for thy love, for thy mercy, for thy goodnesse I praise thee, I blesse [...]hee, I magnifie thee my Lord and my God. Vipe (I besiech thee) from mine eyes all eares of discontent: remove from mine heart he excesse of sorrow: and make mee walke in [...]y vocation with cheerefullnesse; and in my [...]eligion with setlednesse, & resolution. The [...]ortalitie of my child hath taught mee the [...]ailty even of my selfe: graunt therfore, bles [...]ed God, that the longer I live the better I may [...]ow both in grace and goodnesse; that so when his painfull life shall have an end, I may [...]eete thee my God with comfort; thee my Iesus with joy and rejoycing; and my deceased child together with the rest of the quire of Saints with heavenly Halelujahs; and sing praise, Reu. 5.13.and honour, and glory unto thee who sittest upon the throne, and to the Lamb for ever mere. Amen.
subject 18 THE EIGHTEENTH SUBjECT Teares of a wife for the sicknesse of her husband.
The Soliloquie.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, ô Lord [...] consider my meditation:
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
LOrd, how various is the condition of mortalls! Sometimes wee are sick, and sometimes wee are well. Sometimes in sicknesse wee draw neere to the grave; and sometimes againe wee are in hope of recoverie. Tis thus, ô 'tis thus with my dearest husband. Hee who was my comfort and joy in his health, is now my grief [...] and sorrow in his sicknesse. The extreamitie o [...] his anguish enforceth my teares; and those conflicts of his betweene life and death doe pierce mee even to the soule. I am, mee thinks, so [Page 485] divided in my teares, that I cannot well determine whether the greatest number of them [...]re shed for the torments which hee suffereth, [...]r for the losse of mine owne content, or for the [...]aines which love and loyaltie enforce mee to [...]ake, or for feare of his departure. All of them [...]ow from the springs of love; and are readie [...]o convert mee into a gliding stream [...] When Eve was arraigned for enticing her [...] [...]o the act of disobedience, Gen: 3.16. it was part of her [...]unishment that her desire should be subject [...]nto her husband, and hee should rule over her. Mee think's I could be well contented to under goe this servitude, so that my husband might not under-goe this sicknesse. Alas his [...]isease is growne so violent that it even darke [...]eth his reason; and maketh him desire hee knoweth not what. I would gladly obey him [...]n whatsoëver hee commandeth, but that I must not yeeld unto all his desires in this time of his weakenesse. I must now obey the Physitian's order; and follow those directions which hee prescribeth. O the miserie of sicknesse, which so enfeebleth the braine that it un-man's a husband, and pretendeth to free the wife from the yoke of obedience. Now my desires must not be subject to my deerest husband, if hee requireth that which may hinder his recovery: yet howsoever my desires shall be for him, when they may not be to him; for I will begge of the Lord to [Page 486] ease him of his miserie, and to restore him to health. O mee think's I am not as I should be, because I want the comfort, and direction of my head. Hee, poore man, i [...] growne as feeble by sicknesse as I am by sexe: and allthough the torment be his, yet the sorrow is mine. When I remember the un [...]kindnesse of the Amalekite to his sick servant, I cannot choose but wonder at the greatnesse of the inhumanitie. 1. Sam. 30.13. The master left his sick Egyptian when the enemie pursued; as if it h [...]d beene a high offence to want his health. Io sicknesse wee have a certaine tryall of a friend, Hee that onely affecteth us in health, & leaveth us in weakenesse, is but a pretender to friendship, and truely loveth us not. O who would leave a languishing man, that knoweth not how to helpe himselfe? Mee think's I rejoyce (though in my greatest perplexitie) that God-hath given mee both power and abilitie to comfort my deerest. I howerly visit him, though not without teares: and when I most endeavour to be a comforter unto him, even then, alas, I am enforced to weepe. Thus his very potiens are mixed with the drops that distill from mine eyes; and at every turne I am so sensible of his miserie, that I doe in a manner embalme him alive with mine aboundant teares, allthough I yet have hope of his recoverie. 2. King 8.7.
When Benhadad the King of Assyria was [Page 487] sick, hee sent Hazaël to meete Elisha the man of God, and enquire of the Lord by him, saying, Shall I recover of this disease? vers. 8. Mee think's I could gladly performe that office of Hazaël, but where shall I meete with-such a Prophet as Elisha? Alas it is not in the power of man to limit our times: it is God alone who numbereth our dayes. I must therfore leave my curiositie, and submit to his pleasure. And yet in my submission I cannot leave weeping; for even nature alloweth mee a freedome to mourne. David grieved when his very enemies were sick: for so hee saith, As for mee, Ps. 35.13.when they were sick my cloathing was sackcloth; I humbled my soule with fasting. How much rather may I be allowed to grieve for my friend for my husband! Who knoweth but that my sinne may be the cause of his miserie? By my teares of sorrow I will therfore strive to remove the cause. It is in the power of my Redeemer both to forgive mee, and to recover him. But alas so long as hee is sick I cannot be well. So long as the head is troubled the body must needs be disturbed. Hee is my head, and I am his glory. 1. Cor. 11.3. vers. 7. Alas what comfort can I receave, when my head is sick? What glory can hee take in the wife of his bosome, when the violence of his paine depriveth him of my society?
But why doe I utter these words of discontent as if it were in the power of man to [Page 488] recover my beloved? It is god alone that sendeth sicknesse, and that sendeth health: on him therfore alone will I depend, and in him alone will I hope. Saint Paul relateth that Epaphroditus was sick, Phil. 2.27.nigh unto death: but God (saith hee) had mercy on him; and not on him onely, but on mee allso, lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow. My deare husband is sick, as was Epaphroditus; yea and (for ought that I know) hee may be sick unto death too: but I will trust in the Lord that hee will have mercy upon him, and restore him; yea and on mee allso that I may not be drowned in the flouds of sorrow. Mat. 8.14. vers. 15When Iesus came into Peter's house, hee saw his wive's mother laid, and sick of a feaver: And hee did but touch her hand and the feaver left her, and shee arose, and ministred unto them. My Iesus doeth still reteine both his mercy and his power. Though his body be absent, yet his spirit is present. Hee can if hee please, reach downe from heaven; Deut: 4 34. for hee hath a mighty hand, and a stretched-out arme. O that hee would but touch his patient, that so his disease might leave him, and that hee might arise and serre the Lord! The Prophet David did highly extoll the goodnesse of the Lord when hee acknowledged saying, Ps: 30.3 O Lord thou hast brought up my soule from the grave: thou hast kept mee alive that I should not goe downe to the pitt. Doe thou the same, ô my God, for thine afflicted servant.
My Redeemer was pleased to tell the Pharisees that the husband and the wife are noe more twaine, but one flesh; and therfore hee concluded, saying, What God hath joyned together let not man put asunder. Mat: [...]9 6.My husband and my selfe are joyned together by the sacred institution of holy wedlock, which maketh us one; for wee have but one God, one body, one mind, one affection: wherfore then should any thing attempt to seperate us? Yet wee may be Seperated: and if this divorce be not wrought by man, it infringeth not the law of God. Sicknesse may make, yea and at this time it doeth make an un-wellcome seperation: yet though wee are seperated, wee are not divided. But I must find out more in this seperation then barely the sicknesse. I must looke up unto him who sent this sicknesse; and that is God. Hee may seperate us indeede whensoever hee pleaseth. Hee may send his executioner, that pale, and grimme death, with his sharpest Sickle; and give him power to reape downe either one; or both of us. That is the effect of sinne; and I cannot deny but I have deserved to be deprived of my husband, because I have many wayes offended him who sent him unto mee. In the time of his health did I expect his sicknesse? Did I provide for this evill day? Nay, did I not rather pride my selfe as Babylon did, Reu: 18 7. and say in mine heart, I sit as a Queene, and am noe widow, [Page 490] and shall see noe sorrow? Certainly his sicknesse is allso sent as a scourge unto mee: for, being flesh of his flesh, and bone of his bone, I cannot choose but be sensible of the anguish which hee suffer's. Yet, allthough it is just with God to deprive mee of my husband because of my rebellions; I have hope in his mercy if I can but confesse my wickednesses, Ps. 38.18. Eze. 34 16.and be sorrie for my sinnes. Hee promised once by the mouth of his Prophet, saying, I will seeke that which was lost, and bring againe that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, & will strengthen that which was sick. O my God make good this promise now to thy languishing servant. Hee is one of thy flock: hee is one of thy weake, and tender Lambs. True it is that hee was lost, when hee went astray after his owne inventions: but now as thou hast found him in this thy visitation, so let him find thee in the gentlnesse of his correction. Seeke him, ô my God, who was lost; bring him againe unto thee, who was driven from thee by the suggestions of the tempter; bind him up, for hee is broken; Ps. 41.3 and strengthen him now upon the bed of languishing: make thou all his bed in this his sicknesse.
Moses did assure the children of Israel, that If they would hearken to the judgments of God, Deut. 7 12. vers 15 and keepe, and doe them, Then the Lord would take away from them all sicknesse, [Page 491] and would put none of the evill diseases of Egypt upon them. O my Lord be pleased to make thy feeble servant willing to hearken to thy judgments, and ready to keepe them; and then in thy good time release him from his sicknesse. Againe the Lord at another time did comfort his people, Ex. 23.25. and sayd unto them, Yee shall serve the Lord your God, and I will take sicknesse away from the midst of thee. O that my God would be pleased to draw this languishing patient to his holy service, and accept of that service, and then free him from this sicknesse! Hee who hath woundded him, even the same can cure him; and hee expecteth noe reward; onely hee requireth the heart. But alas the very heart of my husband is tormented with sicknesse; hee is sick at the heart; and the Lord doeth say, Mal. 1.8. If yee offer the lame and the sick, is it not evill? But what then shall hee doe? Hee can offer noe other then what hee hath. Let it be thy goodnesse, ô God, to ture him of his lamenesse; to ease him of his sicknesse; and then accept of the whole man, for hee is wholly thine.
Hee who so friendly speaketh to the house of Israël, and justifieth himselfe unto them, saying, O my people what have I done unto thee, Mich. 6.3.and wherein have I wearied thee? Even the same God notwithstanding threatneth the wicked that hee will make them sick in smiting vers: 13[Page 492] them. My poore husband now is sensible of his wrath, because hee had formerly refused his mercy. Even hee and my selfe have beene apt to forget our good God when hee did not weary us; and therfore now hee doeth make us sick in this smiting us. Yet there is hope; for even the same God is ours who was the God of Daniel; and that Prophet saith, Dan: 8.27. I Daniel fainted, and was sick certaine dayes: afterward I rose up, and did the King's businesse. My poore husband fainteth too; oh hee is sick too: but I will pray unto my God to raise him up againe, that so hee may doe the King's businesse; even the businesse of him who is King of Kings, Reu: 17.14.and Lord of Lords. For this I will besiech him; and I will begge of him, that in the bowells of his compassion hee will open his eares to the cry of his hand-mayd, whilest I powre out my prayer and supplication unto him, and say.
The Prayer.
INcomprehensible God, whose workes are deepe, and whose wayes are past finding out: who smitest in thy wrath, and yet in thy wrath remembrest mercy: Hab. 3.2. be pleased to stretch forth thine hand, and visit in [Page 493] mercy thine afflicted patient. Thou art the good Samaritane from whom alone wee can expect the oyle of gladnesse, Lu: 10.33. Ps: 45.7 and the wine of consolation. O remember not the iniquities either of my sick Lord, or my sinfull selfe: for wee know that in thy justice thou mayst teare us in pieces, Ps: 50.22. Is: 53.5when there can bee none to deliver us. O thou who didst suffer thy selfe to be wounded for our transgressions, be pleased to cure the wounds and maladies both of the soule and body of thy distressed servant. Thou knowest, Lord, that the feeble soule cannot praise thee with cheerefullnesse, nor serve thee with alacritie. The sicknesse of the body disturbeth the soule, and maketh it un-apt to serve thee with readinesse. O say of his disease that It is enough; and remove from him speedily this heavy visitation. Thine hand, ô Lord, is layed upon him; and the stroake is so heavy, that it woundeth us both. Mercifull God let the sinnes of both of us be blotted out of thy remembrance like a clowde; Is: 44.22. and be appeased with us through the merits of thy Sonne. Mar: 2.17.The whole have noe neede of thee the physitian, but wee that are sick: O be thou the Physitian to cure our soules; and then, in thy good time, restore thy diseased servant to his former health. But if thou hast sent him this sicknesse as a messenger of death, ô give him patience to beare, and willingnesse to suffer whatsoever thou [Page 494] sendest. Ranke him not in the number of those rich and wicked, Eccl. 5.17. who have much sorrow, and wrath in their sicknesse; but ease his sorrow, and appease thy wrath. Make him willing to submit to thy will and pleasure, that so whether hee liveth, Rom. 14.8.hee may live unto thee: or whether hee dyeth, hee may dye unto thee: yea whether hee liveth or dyeth, that hee may be thine. Luc. 18 13. Lord be likewise mercifull to mee a sinner. Thou knowest how deepely this affliction woundeth mee. To him thou gavest mee whom now thou visitest, that so hee might be both my head, and my directour: and thou knowest my weakenesse and my frailties, that I cannot understand, I cannot walke in thy wayes without a counseller, I cannot apprehend what I reade, Act. 8.31.except some man should guide mee. O be thou pleased therfore to spare his life whom I am commanded to learne of at home: 1. Cor. 14.35. for if thou callest him to the joy of thine heavenly Kingdome, let it be thy goodnesse to moderate my sorrow upon earth. If thou takest him from my societie, let mee not be left alone; but send mee the comforter, even thy holy Spirit to be my Protectour, and my guide unto death. Ps. 48.14. Release him of his torments whom thou visitest with this sicknesse; and ease thou my sorrowes which arise from his paines. Give the comforts of thy Spirit both to him and mee, that when this painfull [Page 495] life shall have an end, wee may be found of thee in peace, 2. Pet. 3.14. Is. 9.6. through the merits and mercies of the Prince of peace, even Iesus Christ my Lord and onely Saviour. Amen.
THE NINETEENTH SUBJECT. Teares of a woman lamenting the death of her beloved husband.
The Soliloquie.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation:
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
WHen Mary came where Iesus was, Io. 11.32.and saw him, shee fell downe at his feete, saying unto him, Lord if thou hadst beene here, my brother had not dyed. Shee wept indeede, yet it was but for a brother; and the Iewes allso wept, vers. 33. yet it was [Page 496] but for a common friend: but what was all that to the death of a husband? O my husband, my husband! That very name of husband mee think's would flatter mee with comfort, as if I might imagine that hee could heare mee. But oh, hee is dead, hee is dead: hee cannot heare mee; hee cannot behould mee; hee cannot answer mee: his eares are locked up, his eyes are closed, his mouth is sealed, his soule is gone. O what shall I doe for my head, my guide, my heart, my husband? Were my Saviour upon earth againe, I could send one to him as Mary did, vers. 3. who should say, Lord behould hee whom thou lovest is dead. Dead say I? O dead, dead: hee is gone; hee is departed, and can never be re-called. But why? Why can hee not be called back againe? Did not my Iesus cause Lazarus to arise when hee had beene fower dayes dead? vers 44 vers. 39 Yes, hee did: but what then? I neither love my Saviour so well as Mary did; nor (I feare) doeth hee love mee so well as hee did Mary: or if both were so, yet, since miracles are ceased, I cannot so much as hope that hee will call back the spirit of my Lord; my husband. Oh, could hee be wooed by the teares of a sinfull woman, never did any mourne so much as I would. But nothing will perswade: I seeke but the disturbance of him whom I mourne for, if I desire to call him from his eternall rest. Yet I hope that it is noe sinne to grieve that hee is [Page 497] gone. I lament not his happinesse, but mine owne losse. vers: 35 My Iesus himselfe did weepe for Lazarus, in testimonie of his affection, for so sayd the Iewes, vers: 36 Behould how hee loved him. And was my love to my husband so litle, or so cold, that I should forget to testifie it in a sorrowfull teare? O I cannot forbeare the remembrance of him, Is: 1.2. Lam: 1.12. who was deerer unto mee then life it selfe. Heare ô heavens, and give eare ô earth. Was it nothing to you all yee that were by him, when yee saw him breathing out his soule, and forsaking the world? O behould, and see if there be any sorrow like unto my sorrow which is done unto mee, wherewith the Lord hath afflicted mee in this day of his anger. Tell mee not how Iacob lamented the supposed death of his sonne Ioseph. Hee was misse-taken in the cause; but I see, and feele the chillowed clay of mine indulgent husband. Iacob mourned onely for a sonne; but I for an husband. Iacob had more, many more: I had but one, 2. Sam: 1.26. and the love of this one to mee did passe the love of women. Yet though Ioseph was alive, and though hee was the youngest save one of twelve sonnes, Gent 37.34.Iacob his father rent his cloathes, and put sackcloth upon his loynes, and mourned for him many dayes. c: 23.2. Tell mee not how Abraham bewayled the death of Sarah his wife, who dyed in Kiriath arba in the land of Canaan. Hee was a man, & so neither his passion, nor his losse could paralell mine. [Page 498] Hee had more-wives, but I had not more husbands. And yet though Abraham lost but onely a wife, I reade that hee came to mourne and to weepe for her. Tell mee not of Abijah the sonne of a King, how hee dyed, and was lamented. Could a Prince be as neere, and deare to the people, as a loving husband to the wife of his bofome? Yet though neither mariage, nor blood could pleade for a teare, I find that all Israël mourned for him. 1. King 14.18. Had not my husband beene King, yet how should I forbeare the expence of a teare when death depriveth mee of the name of a wife? Had hee not beene godly, then the words of the Psalmist might peradventure have beene verified even of him, Ps: 27.15.His widow shall not weepe. But ô hee was full of love, and hee was truely religious: for mine owne losse therfore must I freely weepe, because my loving, my religious husband is taken from mee. Naomi requited the love of her daughters in law expressed to their dead husbands, with a fervent prayer saying, Ruth. 1.8. The Lord deale kindly with you as yee have dealt with the dead, and with mee: vers: 9.The Lord graunt that yee may find rest each of you in the house of her husband. When the wife of Ezekiel was taken from him, I doubt not but hee loved her so well that hee would have bemoaned her departure, had not the Lord expressely charged him the contrarie. Eze: 24 16. But the Lord said unto him, Sonne [Page 499] of man, behold I take away from thee the desire of thine eyes with a stroake; yet neither shalt thou mourne, nor weepe; neither shall thy teares runne downe. Forbeare to cry;vers. 17make noe mourning for the dead: bind the tire of thine head upon thee, and put on thy shooes upon thy feete, and cover not thy lipps. Surely his teares were not forbidden as if it were un-lawfull to lament the dead. Noe: it was onely because the Lord by that figne would shew that the calamitie of the Iewes should be beyond that sorrow which enforceth a weeping. But what was Ezekiel's losse in comparison of mine? Hee was a man, and a Prophet, set over his wife to be her instructer; so was mine set over mee allso: but there the scholler onely departed, the wife: here the very Oracle is ceased, my husband is gone. While hee was alive, my knowledg was increased; for if I would have learned any thing, 1. Cor: 14.15. 1. Pet: 3 7. I could aske him at home. Hee dwelt with mee according to knowledg, giving honour unto mee as to the weaker vessell, and as being heires together of the grace of life; Eph. 5.28. 1. Tim. 5.8. so that our prayers were not hindered. Hee loved mee even as his owne body: hee provided both for mee and mine. But now alas I may live in ignorance, dis-respected, and un provided for: none will comfort mee, none will helpe mee as did my husband that's gone. Act. 5.4. Though wicked Saphira had joyned with Ananias her husband in lying unto God concerning the sale of their [Page 500] possession; vers. 5. and her husband at the words of Saint Peter fell downe, and gave up the ghost, and was caried out by the young men, vers. 6.and buried; yet shee lived not long enough either to bewayle his death, or to consider of her losse. Shee continued a widow but about three howers space, vers: 7. vers. 10 and then fell downe at the Apostles feete, and yeelded up the ghost. Shee quickly followed her husband in death, who joyned in the wickednesse with him in his life. Shee hastened to the grave of her departed consort, as if love had forbad her to survive her husband. Yet it was not love but justice which made them lye together in the silent grave, since they joyned together in a lye in their lives. This alas was not a testimonie of her love, so quickly to follow her husband to the land of darknesse. Mee think's that I could be well contented to have dyed with my husband, and to be layed in the grave by his frozen body: but neither would I have sinne to be the cause, nor judgment the effect. Why then doe I so much lament his departure, whose death was full of an assurance of life, and whose hope was full of immortalitie? Had Saphira survived her deceased husband but so long as to have beene sensible of the manner of his death, it may be imagined that shee would have sighed her selfe to the grave; and even griefe alone would have joyned them in the vault of darknesse, and silence. But God delayed not the [Page 501] punishment of her who obstinately persisted in the crime of her husband. Here is yet some comfort for mee in my deepe calamitie, that neither my husband was guilty of the sinne of Ananias; nor yet did his death come so unexpected. Why then should I grieve so much for the departure of him, who is gone from hence to eternall rest? Hee dyed in the Lord, Reu: 14 13. and I cannot therfore doubt but hee is assuredly blessed. Hee resteth from his labours, and his workes doe follow him. Why then doe I shed such an aboundance of teares, as if I either distrusted his happinesse, or envyed his felicity? My cause is not so greate (if I rightly weigh it) as to cause these floods to arise in mine eyes. When I thinke upon him I have reason to rejoyce both because hee is freed as well from the tyrannie of sinne as from the miserie it produceth; and allso because hee is at rest in my God. If I consider my selfe allso, mine affliction is not so greate, nor my teares so just as I doe imagine: for they will prove rather an argument of my distrust in God, then of my love to my husband, if I give them the freedome to flow beyond moderation. Hee who lent mee him can send mee another; yea such a one as may deserve as well, and to whom my love may be as fervent. If I have lost mine estate, yet I have not lost my protectour, unlesse I forsake him in my distrust. If I complaine for want of the joy of societie, [Page 502] even my very thoughts (so they be religions) will delight mee with their companie. If I want an instructer, my God will be my guide. If I want a comforter, my God will wipe these teares from mine eyes. If I want either foode or sustenance for my body, Prov: 15.15. yet a good conscience will prove a continuall feast. My losse is not so greate as ever was sustained, if I compare it with those which others have soffered. Naömie's affliction was greater then mine, Ruth. 1 3. when not onely her husband Elimelech, but allso her two sonnes Mahlon and Chilion dyed, and the woman was left of her two sonnes, & her husband at once. 1. Sam. 4.11. It was worse by farre with the wife of Phinehar then it is with mee; for her husband and his brother were both slaine in one day by the Amalekites; yea and that in judgment too, c: 3.13. even because they made themselves vile, and their father restrained them not. When the newes came to her that the Arke of God was taken by the un-circumcised; c: 4.13. that ould Eli her father in law hearing the newes that the Arke was taken and that his sonnes were slaine, vers. 18fell from the seate back-ward by the side of the gate, and brake his neck, and dyed; shee, vers. 19 poore soule, being greate with child when the storie of these sad accidents was related unto her, bowed her selfe, and fell in travaile (for her paines came upon her) yea & at length, when shee was delivered of her Ichabod, vers. 21 she gave up the ghost. Thus the Priests fell by the [Page 503] sword;Ps. 78.64.and noe widow was left to make lamentation. True it is that my affliction is greate in the death of my husband; yea so greate that herewith the slanderous enemie of the Psalmist was severely cursed, Ps: 109.9. Let his children be fatherlesse, and his wife a widow: yet is it farre better to see him goe downe to the grave in peace, then that hee should have lingered in continuall miserie. Ier: 22.12.Shallum the sonne of Iosiah King of Iudah was caried captive by an enemie into another land, and dyed there; which the Prophet confidering, speaketh, and saith, vers: 10 Weepe not for the dead, neither bemoane him; but weepe for him that goëth away, for hee shall returne noe more, nor see his native countrie. This might have beene the portion allso of my beloved: but since it was not, though my losse be greate, yet must not my sorrow be too greate. Immoderate griefe for those that are dead was the practise of heathens; it becometh not the children of God. The Israelites were forbidden it even by God himselfe, who saith unto them, Lev: 19 28. Deut: 14.1. Yee shall not make any cutting in your flesh for the dead, nor print any markes upon you: I am the Lord. And againe; Yee are the children of the Lord your God: yee shall not cut your selves, nor make any baldnesse betweene your eyes for the dead. The Gentiles indeede at the death of friends were so trans-ported with sorrow, that they cut themselves, Ier: 16.6.& made themselves bald in the greatnesse of their [Page 504] lamentations. They carved their flesh, and marked themselves for idolatrie; yea they allso cut their skinnes when a friend deceased; and the wounds they filled up with either Stibium, or inke, or what colour they pleased, which remained in the flesh when the skinne was growne over. In all their sorrowes such kinds of inscisions were ordinarie testimonies of the griefe of their hearts. Ier: 41.5. Thus the fowre score men that came from Shechem, from Shiloh, and from Samariah had their beards shaven, and their clothes rent, and they had cut themselves; and had offerings, and incense in their hands to bring to the house of the Lord. Thus when the Priests of Baall did call on the name of their Idoll, 1. King 18.28. they cryed alowd, and cut themselves after their manner with knives and lancers, 'till the blood gushed out upon them. Yet though it was the practise of the Gentiles, it may not be of Christians, nor might it be of the Israëlites: they therfore punished it with many stripes. And just it was that when their violent hands had un-naturally beene stained with the blood of their owne bodies, the hand of justice should draw blood in the punishment of such a cruell offence. The Iewes might not cut themselves at the death of a friend, noe though of a father; because they were not fatherlesse while the Lord was their God. The infidells indeede had noe share in the most high, and therfore were fatherlesse when their sires deceased: [Page 505] but it was not so with Israel, nor is it so with mee. I have a father, which is in heaven, Mat: 6.9. to whom my husband is gone before mee. I have a husband too, which is in heaven; even the same who was a husband to Iudah and Israël. I have a head too which is in heaven; Ier: 31.32. even my Saviour Christ, Eph: 5.23. who is the head of the Church. I have a brother too, which is in heaven; even my elder brother Iesus Christ. Why then should I grieve that my husband is dead, since hee is but gone to the place where my treasure is layed up; Mat. 6.20. and where my immortall father, and head, and brother have crowned him with immortalitie? My God hath taken him, that I may know where to find him. Whilest hee continued upon earth, his imployments did often deprive mee of his societie: but now is hee seated in a place of rest, to which when I come wee shall never be seperated. Whilest hee was here, my affection unto him indeede was greate; and that was my duety: but yet I feare that I offended in the excesse. Had I not loved him too much I should not be immoderate in my sorrow; but even by these teares I am taught the sinfullnesse of my passion. For this sinne therfore will I strive to weepe; even for the trespasse of my weeping. I should never have beene so offensively sensible of this my losse, nor so vaine in my laments, if I had allways remembred that hee was created mortall; and had therfore trusted [Page 506] in him who is immortall. If I doe love my God more then I did my husband, I shall find both comfort, and content in his mercy. Lord, how fraile, and weake am I, that I cannot discharge the debt of nature, but I must bring in question the power of grace! I cannot grieve for the death of my departed husband, without discovering some diffidence, some distrust in my God. But I will pray unto the Lord to for give the excesse of my love to my deceased husband; the excesse of my teares for the death of my husband: and to convert these teares into dropps of sorrow for my hainous offences. To him will I hasten; to him will I speedily addresse my selfe; and mournfully will I cry, and begge, and pray, and say.
The Prayer.
FAther of mercies, and God of all consolation; Ioa: 11.25. vers. 26 thou who art the resurrection, and the life; in whom whosoëver believeth shall live though hee were dead; and in whom whosoëver liveth and believeth shall not die eternally: send downe thy grace into my sinfull soule, that I may magnifie thy name for delivering thy servant from the miseries of this life; and for inthroning him in the celestiall [...]erusalem, where I doubt not but hee reigneth. [Page 507] Thou knewest his sufferances, and the sharpenesse of his sicknesse; & in mercy didst release him of his miserie to crowne him with glory. Thy favours were infinite in his spirituall comforts, when his body languished through the extreamitie of his disease. By thy scourge thou taughtest him how thou abhorrest sinne; yet I doubt not but thou hast freed him from the torments of hell, through the sufferances of thy Sonne. For thy goodnesse to him thy name be glorified: and I humbly besiech thee to extend thy mercy likewise unto her who honoureth thee for it. Thou knowest, Lord, the distresse of my soule for want of him whom thou hast taken from mee. Thou seest mine affliction, and thou numberest my teares. O be gratious unto mee thine unworthy servant, and send mee comfort in the midst of these sorrows. Give mee grace to submit with cheerefullnesse to this thy chastisement; and to repent mee of my sinnes, which brought this affliction. Were it not just for mee to make my complaint in the bitternesse of my sorrowes, thou wouldest not have commanded Zion to lament like a virgin girded with sack-cloth for the husband of her youth. Thou, Lam: 1.8. ô Lord, doest behould my sorrow, and the griefe of my heart, because thou hast taken from mee the desire of mine eyes, Eze: 24 16.and the joy of my heart. Be pleased, ô my God, so to open the eyes of my soule and [Page 508] understanding, that I may see as cleerely the cause of thy stroake, as I am sensible of the losse of him that was my guide. Though hee was sent to be the head of my body; yet thou, ô God, didst offer thy selfe to be the husband of my soule: but to my shame I must confesse that I followed the stepps of Samaria, Eze: 16 45. of Sodome, and of Ierusalem; and loathed thee my Lord, and my husband: justly therfore mightest thou say of mee as thou once didst speake of the church of the Iewes, Hos: 2.2 Shee is not my wife, neither am I her husband. But, ô thou father of mercies, for give my back-slidings; and adde not affliction to affliction, lest I faint under thy rod. Is: 47.9 Spirituall widow-hood was a curse which once thou didst threaten unto Babylon; ô let it not fall upon mee. Allthough thou hast taken him that was my husband, yet be pleased to betroth mee to thy selfe for ever. Hos: 2.19. Say unto mee Ruchama, thou hast obtained mercy; vers. 16 vers. 19 and let mee answer thee, Baali, and Ishi, my Lord and my husband. Betroath mee unto thee in righteousnesse, and in judgment, and in loving-kindnesse, vers. 20and in mercyes, and in faithfullnesse; and make mee know thee to be my Lord. 2. Cor: 11.2. Send a Paul to espouse mee to one husband, that so I may be presented as a chast virgin unto Christ. Give mee grace to doe as once thou commandedst the widowes of Edom; Ier: 49.11. 1. Tim: 5.5. even to trust in thee. Though now I am desolate, yet make mee for ever to trust in thee [Page 509] my God; and continue in supplications and prayers night and day. Thus let my sorrow be sanctified, and my trust and confidence reposed in thee, that so I may serve thee with cheerefullnesse; endure thy visitation with patience; and in the end that I may goe to that place where I trust thou hast crowned my husband, and where my Saviour is certainly gone before; even to the Kingdome of happinesse: and that through the merits and intercession of the same Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour. Amen.
subject 20 THE TWENTIETH SUBJECT. A woman's teares at the funer all of her husband.
The Soliloquie.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, ô Lord; consider my meditation.
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
WHen Sarah dyed in Kiriath-Arba Abraham stood up from before his deceased wife, Gen 23 3.and spake unto the sonnes of Heth, vers. 4.saying; I am a stranger, and a sojourner with you: give mee a possession, and a burying place with you, that I may bury my dead out of my fight. Though hee so tenderly affected her whilest shee was living, yet hee would not looke to long on her when shee was dead. It is a duety as full of humanitie to interre with decency the bodies [Page 511] of the dead, as it is of religion to love the persone when they are alive. Yet vaine is man in this affection, if hee fixeth his love onely on the beautie of the body. This flesh which is so tender, this skinne which I strive to preserve both smooth and white, must one day be a banquet for the loathed wormes. Noe greater priviledg belongeth to mee, then did to my hushand; for the time will come when I shall follow him to the earth. Had I loved onely his outward forme, my love should now either quite be forgotten, or else I should fondly defire to deny it interment: but it was his body enlivened with a rich and excellent soule, which drew mine affection, and commanded my desires. Had that soule and body continued their societie, I had beene freed from my laments: but they have bid fare-well 'till the generall resurrection, and hence am I enforced to utter my complaints. I weepe for my losse because wee are divorced: but ô what conflicts then can I imagine that hee had, whē hee was not onely to part from his indeared wife, but likewise his soule was to leave this chillowed [...]earth! Oh for him, for him for my losse of him doe I pay the tribute of these watering eyes. Yet these teares must not flow in too greate aboundance, lest by them I should seeme to envy his happinesse. Even when his body shall be layed to sleepe in the grave, if I mourne too much, it will be justly [Page 512] suspected that too much I loved the worst of my husband. His soule, which was his best, is now in perfection, and may not be lamented: his body, which is the worse and grosser part of him, is now to be committed to the earth whence it came. Thither it must goe; to that place I must commend it; otherwise my former love may be turned into loathing: and that which I esteemed when it was alive, I shall be forced to abhorre, if I keepe it from the grave. O it grieveth mee each minuit that I thinke of my deerest: it troubleth, and perplexeth mee with disturbed thoughts, when I consider how servently I loved him, yet cannot enliven him. But these are onely the fond conceptions of an erring phantisie; and tell mee that I loved him more then I should or else now I would not grieve so much as I doe. If my love to God be so greate as I pretend, I shall thankfully acknowledg his love to the departed. O let it never be said that my love was idolatrie, in affecting him too much who is but dust and ashes!
But why sit I museing in these pensive thoughts, when I should rather prepare for the buriall of the dead? Have I taken a course for the place of his rest, where his cold body may be layed to sleepe? This is a duety which every age hath beene carefull to performe. It was a greater argument of Iehojakim's furie against Vryah the Prophet, Ier. 26.23. that hee cast [Page 513] his dead body into the graves of the common people, then that hee slew him with the sword. It hath allso beene a testimonie of God's revenge, when hee suffered not the dead to have a decent interment. Eccl: 6.3.If a man beget an hundred children (saith the Preacher) and live many yeeres, so that the dayes of his yeeres be many; and his soule be not filled with good, and allso that hee have noe buriall, I say that an untimely birth is better then hee. VVhen the man of God had dis-obeyed his command, the ould Prophet tould him saying, Thy carkeise shall not come into the sepulcher of thy fathers. 1. King 13.22. This curse was accounted as full of dread, as any that was sent upon the sonnes of men. When the young man the Prophet annointed Iehu King over Israë, 2. King 9.7. hee tould him that hee should smite the house of Ahab his master; and that the doggs should eate Iezebel in the portion of Iezreel; vers. 10 vers. 7.and there should be none to bury her: that the Lord might avenge the blood of his servants the Prophets, and the blood of all the servants of the Lord at the hand of Iezebel. VVhat Iehu was commanded hee did faithfully execute; for when hee had caused the eunuches to throw that painted adulteresse out of the window from whence shee looked, vers. 3. some of her blood was sprinkeled both on the wall, and on the horses, and hee trod her under foote. Afterward when hee had eate and dranke, hee sayd, vers. 34.G [...]e [Page 514] see now this cursed woman, and bury her; for shee is a King's daughter.vers. 35And they went to bury her; vers. 37but they found noe more of her then the skull, and the feete & the palmes of her hands; sothat they could not say, This is lezebel. Ier. 22.17. Because the eyes of Iehojakim, and his heart were not but for his coveteousnesse, and for to shed innocent blood, and for oppression, & for violence to doe it; vers. 18therfore thus sayd the Lord concerning Iehojakim the sonne of Iosiah King of Iudah, vers. 19Hee shall be buried with the buriall of an Asse; drawne, and cast forth beyond the gates of Ierusalem. The Lord threatned the Princes of Iudah, c. 34.19.and the Princes of Ierusalem, and the Eunuches, and the Priests & all the people of the land which passed betweene the parts of the calfe, vers. 20 saying, I will even give them into the hand of their enemies, and into the hand of them that seeke their life; and their dead bodies shall be for meate unto the fowles of heaven, and to the beasts of the earth.
But on the contrarie, Ahijah the Prophet telleth the wife of ieroboam concerning her sick sonne Abijah, 1. King 24.12. vers. 13 saying; Arise get thee to thine house; and when thy feete enter into the citty, the child shall dye: But all Israël shall mourne for him, and bury him; for hee onely of Ieroboam shall come to thegrave, because in him there is found some good thinge towards the Lord God of Israel in the house of Ieroboam. Againe, [Page 515] whē Huldah the Prophetesse did for etell the destruction of Ierusalem, but a respite thereof in the time of Iosiah, she tould him, 2. King 22.20. saying, Behould, saith the Lord, I will gather thee to thy fathers; and thou shalt be gathered into thy grave in peace. Thus hath it often discovered the wrath of the All-mighty, when the earkeises of the dead have beene denyed their funeralls: and on the contrarie, it hath sometimes manifested his love, when they have peaceably beene brought to their longest home. Buriall is the last of dueties which wee owe unto our friends, to which both religion, and nature, and civilitie doe prompt us for ward. When Isaak, being ould and full of dayes, Gen: 35 29.did give up the ghost, and dyed, and was gathered unto his people; his two sonnes Esau and Iacob buried him. When Iohn the Baptist was beheaded in the prison, Mat: 14 12. his disciples came and tooke up the body, and buried it. The disciple that was willing to follow my Redeemer, yet accounted it his duety to attend on the funerall of his deceased father, and therfore desired, saying, c: 8.21. Lord suffer mee first to goe and bury my father. True it is that his request was denyed; not as if Christ dis-liked his pietie; but to teach him that nothing should hinder him from religion. This was as greate an excuse as most that could have beene pleaded: and yet even this had not force enough to prevayle for his departure. Our father in [Page 516] heaven must be preferred in our service before the fathers of our flesh. Againe, it may be conceaved that the parent of the disciple dyed in un-beliefe: it was therfore more proper that infidells should bury him who were dead to religion, then that a disciple of Christ should mixe with the un-faithfull. Howsoëver hee was not checked for desiring leave to bury his father; but hee was commanded rather to follow his Master. Even the glutton in the Gospel had so much favour as to be brought to his grave: so saith the text; The rich man allso dyed, Lu. 16.22. Iob. 21.30. vers: 32 vers. 33and was buried. Though the wicked (saith Iob) is reserved to the day of destruction, and shall be brought forth to the day of wrath: yet shall hee be brought to the grave, and shall remaine in the tombe: The clods of the valley shall be sweete unto him; and every man shall draw after him; as there are innumerable before him. Ps. 49.14. Though death (as the Psalmist speaketh) doeth feede on the wicked, and the upright shall have dominion over them in the morning, and their beawty shall consume from their dwellings; yet in the grave shall it consume them; and in the grave, like sheepe, shall they lye. Thus the Prophet foretelling the buriall of my Redeemer, Is: 53.9 sayd, Hee made his grave with the wicked, & the rich in his death. It is then the duety of the living to provide even for the dead, that they may be buried in peace.
But is it a matter of any moment in what [Page 517] place wee lay the bodies of our deceased friends? Is it not all one, whether in the fields, or whether in our Golgotha's? Noe doubtlesse; for even the lawes of our land are so justly severe against idolaters, that wee suffer not the convicted to be buried in our ground which is dedicated to this use. Neither may they be permitted to mixe with our dead, who have desperately become the murderers of themselves: but they lye in the roades, where a stake is set up, to give notice to passengers that they unnaturally hastened their owne departure. It is a matter of some moment to us who are living, that wee lay our deceased friends in a place convenient: for allthough it extēdeth not to their knowledg, yet it redoundeth to their honour. When Iudas had given back the thirtie pieces of silver, the price of him that was vallewed, Mat: 27 9. to the chiefe Priests that hired him, they tooke counsell together, and, seing it was not fitt to mixe that money with the rest of their treasure because it was the price of blood, vers. 7.they bought the potter's field with it, vers. 6. to burie strangers. vers. 7. Thus they who would readily give a reward to a traitour, were not so readie to be charitable to deceased strangers, had not the price of him who dyed for all, beene the unhallowed summe to purchase the field. When they met with that coyne which was not for their use, with that they purchased an Akeldama for foreiners.
But is it not all one in what part of the ground [Page 518] I burie my husband, so I lay his body in a place that is set apart for that purpose? Surely noe: allthough it is equall to him, yet is it not to mee. Allthough at the resurrection wee shall meete againe, at what distance soëver our graves shall be made; yet there is some reason wee should be buried so neere as wee may that as our bodies were injoyned a mutuall society in the time of life; so they might allso sleepe together in the silent dust. It is but just that one grave should receave the bodies of us, for whom one bed was designed upon earth; that as in our lives wee were made one flesh, so after our deaths wee should make one lumpe. When Barzillay was offered a favour from King David, and wooed to spend his time at the Court, hee besought the King, saying, Let thy servant, I pray thee, turne back againe, that I may dye in mine owne citty, 2. Sam. 19.37.and be buried by the grave of my father, and of my mother. Friends have ever desired to lye by friends, that those especially who were knitt together in blood & affection, might be joyned together in their earth and ashes. In the cave of Machpelah which Abraham bought of Ephron for fowre hundred shekells of silver, Gen: 23.16. was buried both himselfe, c: 49.31. c. 50.13. Act. 5.10.and Sarah his wife. There lay Isaak, and Rebekah his wife: and there lay Leah, and Iacob her husband. Though Saphira dyed by the judgment of God for the lye shee had tould; yet when shee fell [Page 519] dead at Peter's feete and yeelded up the ghost, the young men came in, and caried her forth, and buried her by her husband. It is therfore convenient that I choose a place for the buriall of my husband, where (if so it may be) I my selfe may be layed. Convenient it is, but not absolutely necessarie; for the soules shall not enjoy the lesse felicitie for the remoter distance, and seperation of the bodies: neither shall the bodies: either be sensible of the disjunction; or shall it retard their meeting at the generall day. Allthough the bones of Iacob were caried into the land of Canaan, Gen: 50.13. vers: 5.and buried in the caye of the field of Machpelah which Abraham bought, according as hee had made his sonne Ioseph sweare to him before his death: yet hee had formerly buried his beloved Rachel in the way to Ephrah, c: 35.19.which is Bethlehem, and there Iacob set a pillar upon her grave, which was called the pillar of Rachel's grave. vers: 20. When the children of Israel journied from Beeroth of the children of Iaakan to Mosera, Deut: 10.6. Num: 20.1.there Aaron dyed, and there hee was buried: where as Miriam his wife dyed in Kadesh, and was buried there: yea and Moses his brother the servant of the Lord dyed in the land of Moab; Deut: 34.5. vers: 6. and it is fayd that God himselfe buried him in a valley in the land of Moab, over against Beth-Peor: but noe man knoweth of his sepulcher; peradventure lest the Israelites should have committed idolatrie, and wors [...]ipped him for a God.
Thus doe I sit and muse about the buriall of him whom so deerely I loved. Yet mee think's I could most readily preserve him from the dust, if either it were in my power, or might bring mee content. But goe hee must, and I must follow him. This narrow roome of his coffin must be put in trust with his mouldering earth: and hee who in his life time was entertained with varietie of spacious chambers, must now securely sleepe in the chamber of a grave. O how it grieveth mee to see this effect of sin! Had not Adam fallen, my husband had not dyed. But oh hee's dead; and since nor teares, nor sigh's, nor groanes, nor cryes have power to recall him, it is therfore my duety, and it shall be my care to expresse my love to him in the rites of his funerall. Friends shall carie him; neighbours shall attend on him; and my teares shall embalme him. The Preacher shall be instructed in the vertue which adorned him, that so hee may commend them to others for their due imitation. The hearers shall greedily attend to the praises of the dead; and not onely acknowledg their trueth, but contentedly wish like him to live, and like him to dye.
Now, ô now another storme approacheth in mine eyes: for the companie beginneth to approach my dores; and my neighbours and my friends are hastening to my house. But when they come let them not thinke to comfort [Page 521] mee, lest they adde to my griefe while they vainely strive to conquer my passion. I cannot allow an intermission or forbearance of teares, lest I should appeare un-naturall. If I doe not weepe I did not love. O mee think's I could willingly weepe, my selfe into a statue, that I might become his monument. It is the height of injustice to forbid my teares, since the delight of mine eyes is now to be caried to the place of oblivion. Mee think's every thing seemeth to call for a teare, which is the object of a sense. Those bells which so mournfully accord in their tunes, invite my neighbours to come to the funerall: yet not to appeare with emptie eyes, unlesse they come to learne how to weepe. These herbes, these strewings, which lately were fresh and at ease in their beds, are willing to lye even under the feete of those that will mourne: and because they have noe eyes themselves to weepe us a teare, they lye to receave what shall droppe from the mourners. These spriggs of Rosemarie doe call to my remembrance with what joy and delight they pleased mee at my nuptialls: but (lest I should forget the greater happinesse of the mariage with the Lamb) even this herbe which served at our wedding doe's attend at the funerall. O mee think's these sprigs have sad Rhetorick sitting on their leaves: for those dropps of water which hang upon them, were [Page 522] once the blood of the fragrant flowers, and now are the teares of the drooping plants. S [...] ready were these spriggs to come when I desired them, that they slipped from their stemmes to attend these obsequies. These exotick perfumes which delight the sense, are willing to be burned, rather then the living shall be offended with the dead. These sable garments strike terrour into the eye; and command the spectatour to lend us a sigh. And what other lecture is read here, or taught, but God's decree of man's mortalitie? The chiefe speaker and Oratour is hee who hath now forgotten to speake: for the locking up of his senses, the silence of his tongue, and the coldnesse of his pale & frozen body have more force to prove the shortnesse of our lives, then the most eloquent straines of the best rhetorician. These bells assure mee that my life is but a found, a noise, an aier: these perfumes tell mee that it is but a vapour: 1. Pet. 1 24. these herbs doe teach mee that flesh is as grasse: and these teares, these early teares which so suddenly arise when my heart doeth call, teach mee mortalitie in their hastie falling. And who can choose but weepe for the shortnesse of our lives? Who can forbeare a teare at the funerall of a friend? It was a curse inflicted upon the wicked Iewes that they neither should be buried, nor yet lamented. They shall dye of grievous deaths (sayth the Prophet): Ier. 16.4. they shall not be lamented; neither [Page 523] shall they be buried: but they shall be as dung upon the face of the earth; and their carkeises shall be meate for the fowles of heaven,vers: 5.& for the beasts of the earth. For thus saith the Lord, Enter not into the house of mourning, neither goe to lament nor bemoane them; for I have taken away my peace from this people, saith the Lord; even loving kindnesse, c: 25.33.and Ierusa [...]mercies. So the slaine of Iudah, and Ierusalē (saith the Prophet) shall not be lamented, neither gathered, nor buried: they shall be dung upon the ground. So it was threatned concerning Iehojakim the sonne of Iosiah King of Iudah, saying, c: 22.18.They shall not lament for him, saying, Ah my brother, or ah sister: they shall not lament for him saying, ah Lord, or ah his glory. It was a judgment upon the Israelites, Amos 8.2. when the Lord sayd by the mouth of his Prophet, The end is come upon my people of Israel: vers. 3.and the songs of the temples shall be howlings in that day, saith the Lord: there shall be many dead bodies in every place: they shall cast them forth with silence. Surely if ever nature had libertie to pleade for the convenience, yea for the necessitie of a teare, it may at this time command. Grace must, and most willingly shall have the chiefe predominance: but let nature have likewise it's qualified drops, so they grow not immoderate. Though my losse be the greatest to whom hee was a husband; yet others may weepe too, [Page 524] to whom hee was a friend: Gen: 50.7. When Ioseph went to burie his father, then all the servant [...] of Pharaoh went with him, and the Elder [...] of his house, and all the Elders of the land o [...] Egypt:vers: 8.And all the house of Ioseph, and his brethren, vers: 10and his father's house: And they came to the threshing floore of Atad, and there they mourned with a greate and very sore lamentation: and hee made a mourning for his father seaven dayes. Io: 11.31. VVhen Lazarus was buried, and the Iewes saw Mary rise up hastily, and goe out, they litle imagined that shee went to meete the Lord of life: but they followed her, saying, Shee goeth unto the grave to weepe there. When her brother Lazarus was dead shee wept, and her sister wept, and her friends the Iewes wept: and when Christ did see them all thus weeping, hee was so farre from blaming them, vers. 35 2. Chr: 35.24. that hee wept himselfe. When Iosiah was slaine, his servants tooke him out of the charet wherein hee was wounded, and put him in the second charet which hee had, & they brought him to Ierusalem: And hee dyed, and was buried in one of the sepulchres of his fathers: and all Iudah and Ierusalem mourned for Iosiah. VVhen Samuel was dead, 1. Sam. 28.3.all Israel lamented him, and buried him in Ramah, in his owne citty. 1. King 13.29. VVhen the ould Prophet tooke up the carkeise of the man of God who had beene slaine by a Lyon, hee layed it upon the [Page 525] Asse, and brought it back; and came to the [...]tty to mourne, and to burie him:vers: 30And hee layd his carkeise in his owne grave, and they mourned over him, saying, Alas my brother. The children of Israel wept for Moses in the [...]laines of Moab thirtie dayes: Deut: 34.8. 1 Sam: 15.35. Though Sa [...]uel tooke his leave, & departed from Saul, [...]nd come noe more to see him untill the day of [...]is death; neverthelesse Samuell mourned for Saul. Iud: 11 39. vers: 40 Though Iephthah's daughter had beene lead and buried long before, yet it was a [...]ustome in Israel that the daughters of Israel went yeerely to lament the daughter of Iephthah [...]he Gileadite fower dayes in a yeere. When Stephen was stoned, Act: 8.2. devout men caried him to his buriall, and made greate lamentation over him. 2. Chr: 32.33. VVhen Hezekiah slept with his fathers, hee was buried in the chiefest of the sepulchres of the sonnes of David; and all Iudah, and the inhabitants of Ierusalem did him honour at his death. Lu: 7.38. VVhen Mary Magdalene stood weeping at the feete of my Saviour, and did wash his feete with teares, and wiped them with the haires of her head, and brought an Alabaster boxe of oyntment, vers: 37 and anointed him with the ointment; vers: 38 hee was so farre from dis-liking it in her, that hee checked his disciples who had indignation at the act, and therfore sayd, Mat: 26 8.To what purpose is this wast? Yea hee reproved them, and sayd unto them, Why trouble yee the Woman? vers: 10[Page 526] For shee hath wrought a good worke upon mee:vers: 12For in that shee hath powred this oyntment on my body, shee did it for my buriall, Shee hath done what shee could:Mar: 14 8.shee is com [...] afore hand to anoint my body to the burying. Here, I find, was oyntment to embalme him; and here were allso teares at his funerall: and yet so farre was Christ from blaming her for her teares, that hee not onely decreed the publishing of this act through the world where the gospel should be preached; Mat. 26 13. & that for a memoriall of her: but hee likewise upbraided Simon with the teares of the sinner, Lu: 7.44. and sayd unto him, I entered into thine house, and thou gavest mee noe water for my feete; but shee hath washed my feete with teares, and wiped them with the haires of her head, vers: 47&c. Wherfore her sinnes, which are many, are forgiven; for shee loved much. Weepe then I may upon this sad occasion: yea and weepe may my friends too. Teares are as proper at a funerall, as smiles at a wedding. Wee have two mariages; the first whereof is to living dust; the last to the cold, and silent earth. At the former wee rejoyce, for it was an institution of God before man had sinned: Gen: 2.24. at the latter wee weepe, for it is the effect of sinne. Wee cloath our selves in delightfull colours when wee celebrate the former: but our blacks at the latter are our wedding garments. The Rosemarie is served about at each: the gloves and the favours attend at [Page 527] each: the wine, and the other accustomed entertainments are given at each: wee goe to the church for the consummation of each: onely here is the difference, that at the one wee rejoyce, but at the other wee mourne. Every guest that is willing to comply with the pre [...]ent occasion, must as well be sad at this, as [...]e merrie at the other. Weepe wee may, and weepe wee must; especially my selfe who have [...]ost my selfe. But yet let mee take heede that I offend not in my teares, lest that which is my duety be turned into a crime. I must especially take heede that I erre not in the cause of these laments: for if I griere at the happinesse of him that is departed, I discover an envie rather then affection. If I grieve for the losse which my selfe sustaineth, I must take heede that I wrong not my confidence in God. I may not offend in the number of my teares; for if I weepe too much, I may forfeit my hope; or at least I may occasion those that behould mee to thinke that I doubt of the salvation of the dead. Weepe I may, and weepe I must: but for feare lest I offend in these my teares, in my earnest prayers I will begge that they may be sanctified. To my God will I goe for his direction and assistance: and in this storme of my teares I will shelter my selfe under his protection; and humbly will I tender my petitions, and say.
The Prayer.
O All-mighty and ever-living Lord God, thou who knowest whereof wee are made, Ps. 103.14. and who remembrest that wee are but dust: give mee grace (I besiech thee) to be thankfull unto thee for all thy mercies: more particularly both for thy deliverance of my husband from the miseries of this life; and for affording mee the meanes in peace to bring him to his longest home. Lord so arme mee with patience in this time of affliction, that I may not offend thee in my want, or excesse of mourning. Gen: 3.19.Dust wee are; and to dust wee shall returne. From the earth wee came; and to the earth wee must goe. This way which thy servant must now be disposed of, is the way wherein thou wilt one day leade mee allso to my rest. O prepare mee for the time of my greate account; Eccl: 12 7. that so when my dust shall returne to the earth as it was, my spirit may returne unto thee who didst give it. Let his spectacle of mortality live in my memorie, that so when I consider that the time will come that as naked as I came out of my mother's wombe, Iob: 1.21. so naked shall I thither returne againe; I may wholly endeavour, and seeke to be clothed with the righteousnesse of thy Sonne. Rom: 6 4.With him thou hast beene gratiously pleased that by baptisme I should be buried into death: graunt allso, good God, that like as hee was raised up from [Page 529] the dead by the glory of thee the eternall Father; even so I allso may walke in newnesse of life. Make mee ever thinke upon death which will seize on mee; judgment which will examine mee; and hell which would devoure mee; that heaven may receave mee. Let this lifelesse carkeise put mee in mind of the malice of sinne which is the cause of death; and of that sentence which immediatly followeth this death. Thou seest, ô Lord, how unwilling I am to part from this frozen, and earthie lumpe. Thou knowest how deepe the departure of my joy doeth pierce and wound mine afflicted heart. O be thou my comforter in this greatest sorrow, Ps. 119.96. that seeing now I see that all things doe certainly come to an end, I may wholly endeavour to please thee alone who shalt never have end. Is: 50.3 O thou who cloathest the heavens with blacknesse, and hast cloathed mee at this time, who am but earth & ashes, with these mourning weedes; graunt that by these I may be instructed to shunne the fraile and fading vanities of the earth; and strive for that Kingdome which shall endure for ever. Be pleased to speake peace to my troubled mind; that so though nature hath power to enforce mee to weepe, yet grace may prevaile to moderate my mourning. Ps: 106 9. Ps: 104.9. O thou who diddest once rebuke the red sea that thy servants might passe through them as on drie land; thou who hast set a bound to the seas that they may not passe over, nor turne [Page 530] againe to cover the earth; be pleased so to rebuke the waters of mine affliction, and put such a bound to these my teares, that they may not drowne this earth of my feeble body; but may give place to confidence, and comfort in thy mercy. Ps. 114.3.Iordane did yeeld to thy command, & was driven back: so drive thou back the flood of my teares, that they swell not above the bankes of moderation and hope. Let the grave of the deceased put mee in mind of the tombe of my blessed Redeemer; that so when I am bowed downe with sorrow at the buriall of this earth, I may be raised with joy for the benefits of the resurrection of my Saviour Christ. Hee hath plucked out the sting which sinne had formerly given unto death: 1. Cor. 15.56. vers. 57 ô let mee ever be thankfull unto thee my God, who givest us victorie through Iesus Christ. Give mee an assured beliefe of the generall resurrection, that when I grieve at the placing of this flesh in the grave, I may rejoyce in the certaintie of his rising againe. Ps. 25.17. Though the troubles of my heart be now enlarged; yet bring thou mee out of all my feares. Ps: 94.19.In the midst of the sorrowes which I have in my heart, let thy comforts, ô God, refresh my soule. Lord make mee dye to sinne, and live by grace, that when I shall put off this tabernacle of flesh, I may dwell with thee in those eternall mansions of perfect happinesse, through Iesus Christ my Lord, and onely Saviour. Amen.
subject 21 THE TWENTIE-FIRST SUBjECT. Teares of a woman in the state of widow-hood.
The Soliloquie.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, ô Lord; consider my meditation:
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
BEcause Ierusalem had forsaken the Lord, was was gone backward, Ier: 15.6. vers. 8.Therfore (sayd my God) their widowes are increased to mee above the sand of the seas. vers. 6.Hee who was wearie of repenting, was not wearie of destroying: and yet the judgments which fell upon the Iewes were easier to the stronger, then to the weaker sexe. The males had a period set to their earthly troubles, when the sword devoured them: but the poore females were left alive, destitute both of the comfort, and societie of [Page 532] their husbands. Death is a judgment mixed often with mercy, because it finisheth our earthly sufferances: whereas a life that is lead in continued sorrowes is so much the more burdensome, because not quickly ended. Those widowes of the Iewes were left alive, and therein they were more punished then their destroyed husbands. Groanes and sighes had flowne from the slaine at the hower of their departure; but their dead trunckes were as insensible of griefe or melancholie, as the earth which inclosed them. Yet the distressed widowes were left to lament; and their punishment herein was greater then their husbands, even because their torments survived the slaine. That time was doubtlesse a time of horrour, when the women would willingly have slept by their husbands in their beds of earth, and would have accounted it mercy to meete with a murderer; but yet were denyed the hope of their destruction. Ps: 94.6 The Psalmist saith that the wicked slay the widow: but in Ierusalem as it seemeth, the judgment was so greate, that though the widowes on their knees would have begg'd to be slaine; yet either not men enough were left for their purpose; or the men that were left were not wicked enough to satisfie their desites. O what miseries doe fall upon us that are widowes, who are left to the world to complaine of our losses; & yet in our complaints wee are so farre from obtaining what wee desire, that [Page 533] wee cannot obtaine so much as to dye! Our estate is despised amongst the Sonnes of men, unlesse either our riches, or beautie, or some other by and sinister respect can purchase us a comforter. The widowes that are poore are commonly neglected: and those that are rich, are but vallewed for their wealth. Wee are exposed to the slander of every tongue; to the scorne and derision of every enemie; and to the cruëlty and tyrannie of every oppressour. Iob. 24.21. The wicked who evill intreateth the barren that beareth not, doeth noe good to the widow allso. Wee are mocked by the wives; neglected by our neighbours; cozened by our visitants; and even in this our time of greatest neede, our pretended friends are not willing to counsell us. So greate, so weightie, so grievous are our afflictions, that wee not onely are bereft of our joyes among men; but allso wee seeme to be forsaken even of God. Else why should wee be ranked with the prophane, and the harlots? Why should the high Priest be forbidden by God himselfe, saying, A widow, Lev: 21 14.or a divorced woman, or prophane, or an harlot, these shall hee not take: but hee shall take a virgin of his owne people to wife. Thus are wee subject to the contempt of men; and may seeme to be abhorred likewise of our maker. Our solitarie lives are full of cares, and various perturbations. If wee have riches, wee are apt to be deluded by false, though professed lovers. If wee are poore, wee [Page 534] are neglected by those from whom wee expect reliefe; and our friends are commonly as dead unto us as are our husbands. If wee have children, they are apt to sleight, or dis-obey us, through the absence of him whom they more did feare. If wee have none, as our trouble is the lesse, so our hopes of reliefe are likewise the lesse: for whereas the cryes of the fatherlesse may prevaile with the charitable, the want of those orphanes make's every one neglect us. O what calamities, and miseries attend us women! Wee are weake and simple by the condition of our sexe: and yet when wee have husbands to instruct & assist us, wee can have noe assurance of the continuance of their lives. Wee are exposed to sorrowes at every turne. In sorrowes wee conceave; in forrowes wee travaile; in sorrowes wee nurse our tender infants; and are made but as servants to them in their minorities: and yet, as if all these vexations were too few for our deserts; wee are tortured and racked with the death of our husbands. If wee weepe, wee are frequently rather scorned then pittied, because it is imagined that wee have teares at command. If wee talke, wee are apt to be censured either guilty of levitie, boldnesse, or simplicitie. The joy wee receaved in the societie of our husbands is seconded with contempt when once they are dead; as if it were a sinne in us to suffer them to dye, whereas wee would willingly have [Page 535] layed downe our lives to have preserved theirs That litle wisedome or discretion which wee have learned of our husbands, is styled cunning, when once they are dead. Thus even our vertues are subject to reproach; and our persons and conditions to the obloquie of the world.
But is this all the comfort allotted us in our miserie? Hath God forgotten us? Should the world thus disdaine us? Assuredly our greate afflictions, and our lowde complaints must needes be entertained in the eares of him who is our mercifull God. Though man be deafe, yet God will heare. Yes doubtlesse: wee who so seriously bemoane the losses wee sustaine, shall yet find in the Scripture that the All-mighty is our friend. If I doe but loake into those sacred Oracles, I shall presently behould the goodnesse of my Creatour. The greater our losses are, the diviner are our comforts: the more grievous our afflictions are, the more ample are our joyes. Wee are still in the hands of our gracious God, allthough wee are bereft of our earthly husbands. Our comforts are more, our priviledges are greater then ever they were while our guides were alive: for the Lord taketh notice of us; hee relieveth us in our wants, yea and sometimes miraculously comforteth us in our greatest dejections; men are commanded to helpe us; the rich must lend to us; the advocates must pleade for us; the judges must countenance [Page 536] us; the righteous must visit us; none may afflict, or oppresse us; wee may rejoyce with our neighbours; yea and wee have more freedome to enter into any religious vow then formerly was graunted us. O here now are garments of gladnesse for the spirit of heavinesse; Is: 61.3 for God is our protectour, and man must be our comforter.
example 1 1. The Lord taketh notice of us: for so I find by my gracious Redeemer. When hee sate over against the treasurie, Mar: 12 41. vers: 42and beheld how the people cast money into it; and many that were rich cast in much; And there came a certaine poore widow, and threw in two mites which make a farthing: vers: 43Hee called unto him his disciples, and sayd unto them, Verely I say unto you that this poore widow hath cast more in, then all they which have cast into the treasure: vers: 44For all they did cast in of their aboundance; but shee of her want did cast in all that shee had, even all her living.
example 2 2. God relieveth us, as well as behouldeth us: Ps: 146 9. for so saith the Psalmist; The Lord preserveth the strangers; hee relieveth the fatherlesse and widow. 2 King. 4.1. This the poore widow of the sonne of the Prophet's was sensible of: for when shee cryed unto Elisha, saying, Thy servant my husband is dead; and thou knowest that thy servant did feare the Lord: and the creditour is come to take unto him my [Page 537] two Sonnes to be bondmen.vers: 2.Then Elisha sayd unto her, What shall I doe for thee? Tell mee, what hast thou in thine house? And shee sayd, thine hand-mayd hath not any thing in the house save a pot of oyle. Then hee sayd, vers: 3.Borrow thee vessells abroad of all thy neighbours, even empty vessells: borrow not a few. vers: 5.So shee went from him, and did as hee commanded her: & when all the vessells miraculously were filled with oyle, Elisha said unto her, Goe sell the oyle, vers: 7.and pay thy debts, and live thou and thy children of the rest. This the widow of Zarephath allso found true to her comfort: for when shee had but an hand-full of meale in a barrell, 1. King 17.12.and a litle oyle in a cruse; and went to gather two sticks, that shee might gee in and dresse it for her and her sonne, that they might eate it and dye: even then Elijah the Prophet tould her, saying, Thus saith the Lord of Israël, vers: 14The barrell of meale shall not wast, neither shall the cruse of oyle faile, untill the day that hee Lord sendeth raine upon the earth.
example 3 3. The Lord not onely relieveth us in our wants, but allso hee succoureth us in our losses, and comforteth us in our sorrowes. Lu: 7.12.When my Saviour came nigh to the gate of the citty Naim, and behould there was a dead man caried out, the onely Sonne of his mother, and shee was a widow, and much people of the citty was with her: even then, vers: 13 vers: 14 when the Lord saw her hee had compassion on her, and sayd unto her, Weepe not: And hee [Page 538] came and touched the beere, and they that bare him stood still; and hee sayd, Young man I say unto thee arise:vers: 15And hee that was dead, sate up, & began to speake; And hee delivered him to his mother.
example 4 4. The same Lord hath likewise comanded men to helpe us. Thus (though Eliphaz accuseth Iob, Iob. 22 9. c: 31.16. vers: 22 saying, Thou hast sent widowes away empty, yet) Iob himselfe saith, If I have with-held the poore from their desire, or have caused the eyes of the widow to faile; then let mine arme fall off from my shoulder-blade, and mine arme be broken from the bone. Thus when Ioab did seeke to incline the heart os David to fetch home Absalom, who had sted from him upon his killing of his brother Amnon, hee had noe other way to effect his desires but by suborning the widow of Tekoah: And shee came to the King, 2. Sam: 14.4. vers: 5. and fell on her face to the ground, and did obeysance, and said, Helpe ô King. And the King said unto her, What ayleth thee? And shee answered, I am indeede a widow woman, and mine husband is dead. &c. And by these meanes getting audience of the King who pittied her as a widow, shee prevailed at length for Absalom's pardon. Thus though the un-just judg, which is mentioned in the Gospel, Lu: 18.4. vers: 5. did neither feare God, nor regard man; yet when a widow troubled him, hee said, I will avenge her of her adversarie, lest by her continuall coming shee wearie mee.
example 5 5. In our wants wee may borrow, and the rich must lend to us; yea and they are forbidden to use us with crueltie, or severitie. They must not so much as take a pledg of us. The Israëlites were forbidden it by God himselfe; for so saith the Lord, Deut. 24.17. Thou shalt not pervert the [...]dgment of the stranger, nor of the fatherlesse; [...]or take a widowes raiment to pledg. Yea and [...]mong those that remove the land-markes; Iob. 24.2. that violently take away the flocks, and feede thereof; vers. 3. and those that drive away the Asse of the fatherlesse, Iob doeth ranke and reckon them who take the widowe's oxe for a pledg.
example 6 6. Moreover every one must be an advo [...]ate to pleade for us. Among other dueties required of Iudah, the Lord not onely commandeth that shee should judg the fatherlesse, Is: 1.17 but allso that shee should pleade for the Widow: and hee therfore sendeth his wrath, and showreth his vengeance upon them, because they judg not the fatherlesse; vers. 23neither doeth the cause of the widow come unto them.
example 7 7. The judges are allso commanded to defend us, and to countenance our causes. Every one must be a judg to the distressed widow: therfore the law runneth peremptorily, Deut: 27.19. Cursed be hee that perverteth the judgment of the stranger, fatherlesse, and widow; and all the people shall say, Amen.
example 8 8. The righteous must visit us; for the Apostle saith that pure religion, Iam: [...] 27.and un-defiled [Page 540] before God and the father is this, to visit [...] fatherlesse and widowes in their affliction, &c.
example 9 9. None may afflict, or oppresse us; for God himselfe giveth the charge, Ex. 22.22. saying, [...] shall not afflict any widow. Againe, by [...] Prophet thus speaketh the Lord of host saying, Zech. 7 10. Is. 10.2 Oppresse not the widow. Woe unto the [...] (saith the Prophet Isaiah) that take away the right from the poore of my people, that widowe [...] may be their prey.
example 10 10. And lest wee should be overborne with sorrowes, and lost in our griefes, wee have authoritie even from God to be cheerefull, and to rejoyce. Deut. 16.14. So saith the Lord; Thou shalt rejoy [...] in thy feast, thou, and thy Sonne, and thy daughter, and thy manservant, and thy maydservant, & the Levite, & the stranger, & the fatherlesse, & the widow, that are within thy gates.
example 11 11. Yea and wee have more freedome to enter into any religious vow, then formerly was graunted us; yea then when wee were under the tuition of our indulgent parents. Though a virgin, by the law might not fulfill her vow, if it stood not with the liking, Num. 30.5. and pleasure of her father; yet the Lord himselfe doeth ordaine, saying, Every vow of a widow, as well as of her that is divorced, vers. 9.wherewith they have bound their soules, shall stand against her. Saint Paul allso treating of our libertie to tye our selves in a second vow of nuptiall dueties, saith, The Wife is bound by the law, as long as her husband [Page 541] liveth: but if her husband be dead,1. Cor. 7.39.shee is at libertie to be maried to whom shee will; onely in the Lord.
Seeing then the Lord is so mercifull and gratious unto us who have lost the content and comfort of our guides and directours (provided that wee are widowes indeede, and desolate trusting in God, 1. Tim. 5.5.& continuing in supplications and prayers night and day) why sit I thus disconsolate, as if I neither had right to the societie of Christians, nor were regarded by my maker? Whence flow these teares? Whence arise these sighes & sobbs of a troubled mind? Though I have lost my husband, yet still I have my God. Hee is and will be mine, so long as I remaine and continue his. What though I misse my head, my deceased Lord, my dead husband in every place? What though hee sitteth not with mee at the table, and therfore I sigh? What though I find a misse of him in my sole and single life, and therfore I grieve? What though I want him to instruct mee in the wayes of goodnesse, and to provide for the affaires allso concerning this life, and therfore mourne? I may be pensive in the remembrance of him whom I loved, and I may lament the losse of my instructer and my comforter: but if I grieve too much, I shall but discover that there was folly in my love, and that there is dispaire in my teares. Hee was not mine, but God's; and with him hee liveth. [Page 542] It must be my comfort that hee lived so well while hee was upon earth, that I may hope assuredly that hee's a saint in heaven: and it must be my confidence that hee is onely gone a litle before, to that place of happinesse whither I shall follow him. Hee who lent mee him, can furnish mee with another; or else give mee content with this single life. Hee was not my choyce, but God's. If I ponder upon my losse with sorrow and griefe; I must yet thinke upon his advantage with joy and content. I will therfore reverence his memorie without too many sobbs; and I will be thankfull to my God, because hee once did lend mee so good a directour. I will (by his blessing) live a widow with content and quietnesse, untill hee shall be pleased either to call mee againe to the state of wedlock, or else free mee from this sinfull and troublsome world. If I marrie noe more, the greater command shall I reteine of my selfe. I am now at libertie to employ my time in religious dueties; whereas if I were wedded to an un-godly man, even my religion it selfe (without the mercy of my God) might receave some prejudice. But if the Lord shall be pleased to bring mee againe into obedience to another; I will besiech him so to direct mee in my choyce, that I may marry in the Lord. I will not rashly attempt so weighty a matter; but with my prayers and teares I will begge of the Lord to guide, and [Page 543] direct mee. Thus that I may live in the love of my God, and that hee may allways overshadow mee with his blessings; Ier. 31.32. and be a husband unto mee, as hee promised to be unto Iudah and Israël, I will humble my selfe at his foote-stoole, and pray unto him, and say.
The Prayer.
BLessed God, thou who once didst promise to the barren church of the Gentiles that thou wouldest be unto her both a Redeemer and a husband: Is. 54.5 be pleased to looke upon the low estate of a pensive widow. Thou knowest how irksome, and full of forrowes this solitarie life is: thou viewest my sad, and dis-consolate condition. O be thou unto mee both a husband and a comforter; that in the multitude of my sorrowes which I have in my heart, thy comforts, ô Lord, Ps. 94.19. may refresh my soule. It is thy promise that, Prov. 15.25. though thou wilt destroy the house of the proude, yet thou wilt establish the border of the widow. Though the wicked doe noe good to the widow; Iob. 24.21. yea though they stay the widow, and murder the fatherlesse: Ps. 94.6. Ps. 68.5 yet thou thy selfe hast promised that thou wilt be a father to the fatherlesse, and defend the cause of the widow; even thou, ô God, who dwellest in thine holy habitations. Iob. 22.9. O send not then a poore and distressed widow [Page 544] away emptie: but be pleased to be my G [...] my guide, and my counsellour. Make mee [...] honour thee in all my wayes; to rely upon thee i [...] all my sorrowes; to sue unto thee in all m [...] wants; Eph. 4.24. Ps. 89.22. and firmely to be wedded unto thee [...] righteousnesse, and true holinesse. Let not th [...] oppressour exact upon mee; nor the Sonne [...] wickednesse doe mee harme: but doe tho [...] allways preserve mee under the shadow of thy wings. Be thou my directour in all my wayes, that whether I shall continue in this stated of widow-hood, or be ordered by thee to change my condition, and be joyned againe in holy wedlock; I may sue for thy counsell, and be seconded with thy blessing. But so long as I shall leade this single life let mee remaine contented: Lu. 2.37. and make mee like Anna the Prophetesse, not departing from thy temple, but serving thee my God with fasting and prayer night and day. Be thou unto mee in a more excellent manner then was Iob unto the widowes, causing my heart to sing for joy; Iob. 29.13. that so though mine afflictions are many, and my desolate condition be full of perturbations, and anxious thoughts; yet I may so cleave unto thee, that I may have comfort in thee whilest I live upon earth; and be hereafter admitted into the societie of thy saints and Angells, there to reigne with thee world without end, through Iesus Christ my onely Lord, and Saviour. Amen.
subject 22 THE TWENTIE-SECOND SUBjECT. Teares of an Orphane at the death of her father.
The Soliloquie.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation:
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
AMong other abominations which Ierusalem was guiltie of it was not the least that In her had they set light by father and mother. Eze. 22 7. But could there live such people as neglect their parents? Could nature become so silent in children, that they should forget the honour due to proge [...]itours? Surely if even affection inhabited the breast of a Christian, it needes must dwell in the heart of a child and point to the fathers, that did beget him. Alas I feele a desire of expressing such an affection, [Page 546] which I would be as readie to manifest in reall expression: but (ay mee) the object of [...] love and my duety is snatched from mee. O [...] hee that begat mee is dead: hee that tooke ca [...] to breede mee; hee that supplyed my wants; b [...] that instructed mee in religion; hee that defen [...] mee from injuries; hee whose labour & indstrie was chiefely imployed for the good of mee his boloved child. Prov. 4 3.I was, oh I may say I was, my father's child, tender, and onely beloved of my mother. But now where, ô where is that man of affection? Where is that father who so earnestly loved mee; who so deerely affect [...] mee? Sick hee was: dead hee is. But was my duety to him correspondent any way to his care of mee? Did I endeavour to requite his love by my service, Gen: 48 1. & obedience? Did I visit him in his sicknesse, as Ioseph did his dying father When one could him saying, Behold thy father i [...] sick, hee tooke with him his two Sonnes Manass [...] & Ephraim, and went and visited him. This visitation is a Christian duety, and not to be denyed even to our enemies, much lesse to out parents. 2. King 13.14. When Elisha was fallen sick of his sicknesse whereof hee dyed, & Ioash the King of Israël went downe unto him; hee wept over his face, & said, O my father, my father, the charet of Israel, and the horsemen thereof. Lesse then this I could not doe: for the Prophet was a stranger to the blood of the King; and yet the King both visited, and lamented the Prophet. [Page 547] Had I beene sick and my father in health, [...]how would hee have wept, and grieved! How would hee have repaired to Phisitians; [...]ought for my recoverie; bought it at rates [...]en beyond his estate; & rather have chosen [...] have led his dayes in penurie and want, [...]en I should have dyed for want of cost! [...]nd I dyed and hee sur-vived, hee would have [...]ourned for mee many dayes; 1. Chr. 7.22. as Ephraim did [...] his children that were slaine by the men [...] Gath: or (like Iacob, when hee heard [...]he falle report that Ioseph was slaine) hee [...]ould have mourned, Gen. 37 34. vers. 35 and have refused to be [...]forted; and peradventure hee would have [...]d, I will goe downe into the grave unto my child, mourning. Thus, ô thus my father would have grieved for mee. Yea, if mischiefe should have befallen mee, hee would have beene as readie to have sayd as Iacob did concerning Benjamin, c: 42.30. My gray haires shall be brought downe with sorrow to the grave. But how did I deserve this love at the hand of my father? 'Tis true that nature and religion did teach him to be indulgent: but did both, or either of them perswade mee to my duety? Did I honour him according to the commandement of my God? Ex. 20.12. Lev: 19 3. Did I feare him according to the law divine? Did I love him, and that entirely; and would I have beene as forward to expresse my love and respect unto him, as Rahab (though a harlot) did manifest hers, [Page 548] when shee convenanted with the spies, & [...] cluded, Ios: 2.13. saying, Yee shall save alive my father my mother, and my brethren, and my sisters, [...] all that they have; and deliver our lives [...] death? Would I have beene ready to [...] presse my love and respect unto him (if [...] had required, and opportunitie and mea [...] had beene offered) as David did to his [...] rens?1. Sam. 22.3.Hee went to Mizpeh of Moab, and [...] unto the King of Moab. Let my father, I [...] thee; and my mother come forth and be with y [...] 'till I know what God will doe for mee. [...] ready thus to comfort him, thus to relieve [...] if neede had required, and thus to provide [...] him to the uttermost of my power? Did never depart from him at any time, before had craved both his leave, and his blessing When Elijah passed by Elisha as hee [...] ploughing,1. King 19.19. vers. 20and cast his mantle upon him, hee le [...] the oxen indeede; but hee ranne after Elij [...] and said, Let mee I pray thee, kisse my father [...] my mother; and then I will follow thee. Ye [...] rather (on the contrarie) insteed of honouring him, Mat: 10 35. Mich: 7 6. was I not at variance against him? Was I not apt to dis-honour my father, and to rise up against my mother? Insteed of labouring to relieve and comfort him, was I not more ready to say unto him as did the Prodigall in the Gospell, Lu: 15.12. Father give mee the portion of the goods that falleth unto mee? Certainly had not hee sinned, hee could not have dyed: and had not [Page 549] I sinned, hee could not have beene seperated [...]m mee. My neglect of my duety did move [...] Allmighty to take him from mee; that [...] I may at least honour the memorie of him [...]w hee is gone, whom peradventure I did [...] truely reverence and obey while hee was [...]. Now, ô now is that time of heavinesse [...]en upon mee, wherein I must lament [...] Zion, and cry, Lam: 5.3. I am an orphane and [...]erlesse; my mother is a widow. Now my [...]forter, my defender is gone, I cannot [...]ose but suspect that even Christians will [...]ome as bad as were the Iewes who judged [...] the cause, the cause of the fatherlesse;Ier: 5.28.and yet [...] prospered. Now the curse which the P [...]lmist prophetically layed upon his slan [...]e [...]ous enemie, I dayly feare will happen unto [...]nee; Ps: 109.12. even that none will favour this fatherlesse [...]hild. Hence flow my teares: hence arise [...]hese mists of sighes, and these clowdes of [...]rrow. My father is gone; hee's departed; hee's [...]ead. O what shall I doe to lament enough [...]e losse I sustaine? How shall I sufficiently [...]ourne the departure of him, whom all my [...]bbes and cryes can never re-call? Weepe I [...]ust: I cannot choose but weepe. Nature [...]ommand's it, and I hope religion will not [...]orbid it. Though David complained that [...]hee was forgotten as a dead man out of mind; Ps: 31.12. yet hee could not possibly meane that the dead were forgotten by their sur-viving off-spring. [Page 550] O noe: the eyes of orphanes are full of teares when they call to mind their once indulgent fathers: yea and in every teare [...]e [...] meth to be a reflection of the deceased parent. Our laments are not onely enforced by the greatnesse of our losses, and the strength of our love to our departed fathers: but even by religion it selfe which gives us a kind of encouragement to hope that in their moderation they have authoritie from God. Deut: 21.11. The captive woman among the people of God who was faire and beautifull, and whom an Israëlite desired to have to his wife, was to be brought home to his house: vers. 12and then shee was to shave her head, and to paire her nailes, and to put the raiment of her captivity from off her, vers. 13and to remaine in his house: but first shee ought to bewayle her father & her mother a full moneth before the Israelite might goe in unto her; & hee be her husband, and shee his wife. Mee think's I could willingly yeeld to be thus farre a slave, as to mourne for my father: for it is some content to mee in my losses to have yet the societie of my teares. Allthough among the Iewes the very touching of the dead did make the living un-cleane; yet among Christians wee have noe such lawes. O how would I now goe kisse his cold and wann chee kes, and weepe over his shrowded body; yea and wash that face so full of palenesse with my warme and [Page 551] willing teares; if all that I could doe would restore him to life againe! I would not stick to touch him; yea to kisse him: and when my lipps would be wearie my teares should softly court his hollow and closed eyes. A verie Iew might have done thus much, who lived under the bondage of the ceremeniall law: yea a Priest himselfe was allowed these acts so naturall and pious. Though touching the Nazarites the command was strickt which the Lord delivered unto Moses,Num. 6 1. vers. 2.saying, Say unto the children of Israel, when either man or woman shall seperate themselves to vow a vow of a Nazarite, to seperate themselves unto the Lord; vers. 6.all the dayes that hee seperateth himselfe unto the Lord hee shall come at noe dead body; vers. 7.hee shall not make himselfe un-cleane for his father, or for his mother; for his brother, or for his sister when they dye; because the consecration of his God is upon his head: Yet whereas the law said, Eze: 44 25. The Priests shall come at noe dead person to defile themselves, it ran with this exception, But for father, or for mother, or for sonne, or for daughter, for brother, or for sister that hath had noe husband they may defile themselves. And againe, concerning the common people the law provideth, saying, Num: 19.16. Whosoever toucheth one that is slaine with the sword in the open fields, or a dead bodie, or a bone of a man, or a grave, shall be [Page 552] uncleane: but the time of his un-cleanesse was to continue but seaven dayes. That law hath now noe power to oblige us who are under the Gospel. I may touch my dead parent, and embrace him, yea and kisse him, at least in my thoughts when I cannot come to his body. And so I will: and if there remaine any un-cleanesse in my cogitations, I will purifie, I will wash it away with the bath of my teares. Allthough my sorrowes cannot call him from the grave, yet they have power both to discover mine affection, and to satisfie my desires. Heb: 11 35. In ancient times women had their dead raised to life againe. This indeede is too much for mee to expect: yet it will not be too much for mee to mourne with those women, who were afterward thus comforted. But then I must be just in my mourning. As my love may lawfully be shewed in my teares, so must my religion be manifested in my moderation. It was a curse upon the Iewes which the Prophet pronounced, when hee said, Men shall not teare themselves for them in mourning,Ier. 16.7.to comfort them for the dead; neither shall men give them the cupp of consolation to drinke for their father, or for their mother. I must not exceede the bounds of modestie in my cryes & lamentations; but I must drinke rather of the cupp of consolation, and hearken to the advice and counsell of my comforters. Nature indeede may be seene in a teare, and heard in [Page 553] a sigh: but if those teares be too many, or those sighes too frequent or too lowde, my very sorrowes may be sinfull for my want of patience. Hee for whom I grieve is better then my selfe, and his condition is full of joy and delight: why then should I mourne too excessively as if hee were lost; & why should I grieve too immoderately, as if I despaired of a father? Hee is gone to a place where hee is freed from sorrowes, and can dye noe more: onely I am on earth, in a valley of teares: but I shall have a time to dye too, and be gathered unto him. In heaven (saith Saint Iohn) there shall be noe more death, Reu. 21.4.neither sorrow, nor crying; neither shall there be any more paine; for the former things are passed away. My Redeemer saith that they which shall be accounted worthy to obtaine that world,Luc. 20 35.& the resurrection from the dead, neither marrie, nor are given in mariage: neither can they dye any more;vers. 36for they are equall unto the Angells; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection. VVhy then should I lament for him who needeth not my sorrowes, and my teares are but a fruitlesse disturbance of my selfe? If I am troubled at the losse of a friend so deare, I must rather labour to be beloved of my God who is so good. I shall one day learne with holy Iob, Iob. 17 14. to say to corruption Thou art my father; and to the worme. Thou art my mother, and my sister. There is yet something [Page 554] earthly therfore which I shall acknowledge a parent: but I must take heede that nothing upon earth doeth make mee an idolater. The house of Israel was once so sottish as to say to a stock, Ier: 2.27.Thou art my father, & to a stone, Thou hast brought mee forth. This were a stupid madnesse in mee if I should so dis-honour the memorie of my father, as to make the timber succeede him in my reverence. But more impious it would prove, if I should reject my heavenly father; and insteed of him I should honour (as Israel did) a stock, or a stone. The greater that my losse is in my deceased parent, the more must be my obedience to the father of lights. Iam. 1.17. Heb. 12 9. Hee who is and must be the father of my spirit did lend unto mee for a time the father of my flesh. Hee hath allso taken from mee my naturall parent, that my thoughts may be ever fixed upon him with whom hee dwelleth. If my trust be in God my comforts will abound; my sorrowes will decrease. If my name be written among the righteous, my share shall be equall to theirs in the protection of my God. Hee hath ever beene mercifull to them that were fatherlesse, so that they relyed on his providence, and served him with faithfullnesse. Ps. 27.10. Ps. 68.5When my father and my mother forsake mee (saith the Psalmist) then the Lord will take mee up: a father of the fatherlesse is God in his holy habitation. [Page 555] O that I might have the honour to be his child, that so I might justly call him father! O that I could truely say unto him, Thou art my father, my God, Ps. 89.26. Is. 63.16. Ier. 3.19. 2. Cor. 6.18.and the rock of my salvation! O that I could faithfully say, Thou, ô Lord, art my father, my Redeemer; thy name is from ever-lasting! O that I could call him my father, and not turne away from him! His mercies are greate: his promises are full of comfort. I will be a father unto you, and yee shall be my sonnes and daughters saith the Lord All-mighty. O what shall I doe that I may be sure to be adopted into the number of his children? Alas as I am I have but litle hope of it: for hee is pure, but I am un-cleane: but I will wash my selfe with my teares of repentance, and beseech his Sonne to cleanse mee with his blood. Hee is righteous, but I am sinfull: but I will confesse my wickednesse, Ps. 38.18.and be sorrie for my sinnes; and then I am sure hee will aboundantly pardon. Lord, though I have beene thine enemie, thou canst make mee thy friend: though I have hated thee, thou canst incline mee to love thee: though I have beene rebellious, thou canst make mee thy child. O be pleased to hearken to the intercession of mine advocate pleading for mee: to the intercession of thy Christ who was obedient to thee: to the intercession of my Iesus who was crucified for mee. In him be reconciled unto mee; for I am well assured [Page 556] that like as a father pittieth his children, Ps: 103 13.so thou Lord doest pittie them that feare thee. This, ô this is the way where in I must walke. Thus, yea onely thus shall I have a father both dead and alive. Hee who is dead shall not b [...] immoderately bewayled, because hee that is ever living shall wipe the teares from mine eyes, Mine exchange shall be full of advantage. For him who was willing to helpe mee, yet was not able; for him who loved mee, but imperfectly; and left mee irresistably, I shall have a father whose will cannot be opposed; whose power noe creature is able to resist; whose love is in perfection; and who is not subject either to change, Dan: 7.9. Ps: 90.2. Ps: 22.9 or dye. Hee is the ancient of dayes: hee is God from ever-lasting, and world without end. If I could say with David, Thou didst make mee hope when I was upon my mother's breast, as well as I can say with him, Thou art hee that tooke mee out of my mother's wombe: vers. 10 if I could say that thou art my God from my mother's belly, as well as I can say that I was cast upon thee from the wombe: if I could say that I had allways served thee; then should my praise be of thee continually, Ps: 71.6 and then should I be safe under the shadow of thy wings. Hos: 14 3.Ashur shall not save us (saith Israel); wee will not ride upon horses; neither will wee say any more to the worke of our hands Yee are our God's; for in thee, ô God, the fatherlesse findeth mercy. In God doe the fatherlesse find [Page 557] mercy? Ps: 35.14. Why then doe I how downe my selfe thus heavily, mourning for my father, whereas I am assured (if I serve and obey the righteous Lord) that when my father and my mother forsake mee,Ps: 27.10.then the Lord will take mee up? Hee that is dead was but the weake, though the loving instrument to bring mee to life: but hee that is living, yea and liveth for ever and ever, is the God both of power and mercy: hee therfore for ever shall be my father. Mal: 2.10.Have wee not all one father? Saith the Prophet, Hath not one God created us? Yes, yes; hee is a father to all by creation: but hee will not be a father to all by regeneration, Lu: 12.32. His flock is but litle, his children are not many: I will therfore strive to be one of the smallest number, for those alone shall inherit salvation. His mercies were ever greate to the godly: his compassions never failed the fatherlesse, if they honoured him. When David was promised that hee should have a Sonne, even then the Lord did allso promise to be a father unto him. 1. Ch [...] 17.13.I will be his father (saith the Lord) and hee shall be my Sonne: I will not take my mercy away from him, as I tooke it from him that was before thee. But what shall I doe to gaine his protection? How shall I perswade him to call mee his child? If I love the memorie of my father more then I love him, then I cannot possibly be worthy of him: for so saith my Saviour, Mat: 10 37. Hee that loveth father or mother more then mee, is not [Page 558] worthy of mee. I will therfore strive to honour my God with the strength of my love, in heart, and in soule: and that I may the better doe it, I will imitate my dead father in all that was just and righteous in him; but whereinsoever hee failed I will decline his stepps. 1 King. 22.52.Ahaziah was plagued because hee did evill in the sight of the Lord, and walked in the way of his father and of his mother. 2. Chr: 22.3.Hee walked in the way of the house of Ahab; for his mother was his counseller to doe wickedly. It is not the losse of a parent which can prevaile for a blessing upon the child; unlesse in the stead of him that was earthly, hee be made a father who is Lord of heaven. Hee looketh not on our afflictions with the eye of compassion, unlesse wee looke up to him with the eye of faith and devotion. Our miseries are but judgments unlesse wee amend, and doe but prophesie unto us a destruction at hand. When Ieroboam was fatherlesse hee was called to the congregation,1. King. 12.20. c: 11.26.and they made him King over Israel: but hee whose hand at first was lifted against the Crowne, and not content with that, did afterwards put it forth against the man of God; c: 13.4. had it justly dryed up, so that hee could not pull it in againe unto him. Thus the losse of an earthly father could not protect a wicked orphane: c: 14.9. but hee who did evill above all that were before him, and had gone and made other Gods and molten images to provoke the Lord to [Page 559] anger, and had cast the Lord behind his back; even upon his house was evill to be brought. vers. 10 The Lord will cutt off (saith the text) from Ieroboam him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel; and will take away the remnant of the house of Ieroboam as a man taketh away dung 'till it be all gone. But on the contrarie I find that unto the godly a father of the fatherless, Ps: 68.5and a judge of the widowes is God in his holy habitation. 1. King. 7.13. vers. 14Hiram the Sonne of a widow, of the tribe of Naptali, whose father was a man of Tyre, the same was filled with wisedome, and understanding, and cunning to worke all workes in brasse, and was therfore sent for by King Solomon to build his house. Gen: 25 11. Est: 2.7 After the death of Abraham it is said that the Lord blessed his Sonne Isaak. After the death of Esther's father, Mordecai the Iewe tooke her; (shee being his uncle's daughter) for shee had neither father nor mother. Hee tooke her for his owne daughter; and afterward the Lord so blessed the orphane, that shee came to sit upon the royall throne, c: 7.3. vers: 17 Ps: 10.14. and to be the preserver of her nation. Thus the poore who commit themselves to God doe find assuredly that hee is a helper of the fatherlesse. Hee executeth their judgment: so saith Moses; Deut: 10.18. The Lord doeth execute the judgment of the fatherlesse. By Moses allso hee forbiddeth the people, saying, Yee shall not afflict any widow, Ex: 22.22.or fatherlesse [Page 560] child. Iob accuseth his pretended friends of an high offence, when hee chargeth them, Iob. 6.27. Is: 10.2 saying, Yee over-whelme the fatherlesse. By the Prophet Isaiah a woe is pronounced against them who take away the right from the poore of the people of the Lord, that widowes may be their prey, and that they may robbe the fatherlesse. Yea and from God himselfe by the mouth of King Solomon the advice is given, Remove not the ould land-marke; Prov. 23.10.and enter not into the fields of the fatherlesse. By the Allmighty to the fatherlesse friends are raised: thus was Iob: Iob. 29.12. I delivered the poore (saith hee) that cryed, and the fatherlesse, and him that had none to helpe him. c 31.17. And againe hee saith, If I have eaten my morsell alone, and the fatherlesse hath not eaten thereof; vers. 22then let mine arme fall from the showlder-blade, and mine arme be broken from the bone. Thus if I am God's, then God will be mine. If in my wants I misse my father, my God will relieve mee: if in my troubles I want my father, my God will deliver mee. What could my earthly parent have added to my content, which my heavenly parent cannot much more supply. If therfore I grieve too much for the death of him, I forget my God who liveth for ever. If too much I complaine of his absence who delighted in mee, I manifest my rebellion against him who should be my delight. Mat. 6.9. Hee taught mee to pray; and when I pray hee taught mee to say Our father [Page 561] which art in heaven. On him therfore will I depend who is the father of all that believe in him. Rom. 4.11. To him in my wants will I addresse my selfe, who is the giver of all. Iam. 1.17. Upon him will I call, and to him will I cry, and say.
The Prayer.
ALl-mighty God, heavenly father, who art a Lord of comfort, Rom. 15.5. and a God of consolation; looke downe upon a sinfull and distressed orphane bereft of the joy and helpe of an earthly parent. Thou ô Lord didst send mee unto him that thy Kingdome might be increased: and thou hast taken him from mee that my faith and patience might be fully tryed. I was apt to forget thee while hee was living, looking upon him as the donour of blessings, and neglecting thee from whom they proceeded. I relyed too much on the arme of flesh; 2: Chr. 32.8. and trusted too fondly in the power of man: but now thou hast humbled mee by his mortalitie, and taught mee wholly to rely and depend upon thee. Mine owne unworthinesse of so loving a father made thee to take him away from mine eyes. My dis-obedience to his commands, and my neglect of honouring him according to thy lawes, have provoked thee to anger, and to deprive mee of his comfort. [Page 562] Lord forgive my manifold offences: & since I find that all flesh is but as grasse, 1. Pet. 1 24. Iam. 4.14. and that the life of man is but as a vapour which van sheth away; make mee allways to apply my service wholly unto thee who livest forever. Remember thy promises which thou hast made unto the fatherlesse: and that I may be capable of those thy promises, give mee grace to become thy child by obedience. Thou, ô Lord, art my father to whom belongeth honour; Mal. 1.6. thou art my master, and requirest mee to feare thee: Lord make mee feare to offend thee who art a righteous judge; and make mee love and honour thee who art a gracious father. Be with mee in all the wayes wherein I shall walke in this mortall life, Lu 1.79. guiding my feete into the way of peace. Comfort mee in my sorrowes, support mee in my miseries, provide for mee in my wants; and in all places, and at all times be thou my father, Ps. 62.6 Ps: 82.3my rock, and my strong salvation. Doe thou defend the poore and fatherlesse: doe justice to the afflicted and needie. Supply all my wants; and conferre upon mee all necessarie blessings. O be reconciled unto mee in the blood of thy sonne, that I may here depend upon thy fatherly protection, & hereafter be receaved into thy celestiall Kingdome, there to reigne with thee world without end, through Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour. Amen.
subject 23 THE TWENTIE-THIRD SUBJECT. Teares for the death of a beloved brother. And may likewise serve at the decease of any other faithfull friend.
The Soliloquie.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, ô Lord; consider my meditation.
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
A Friend (saith King Solomon) loveth at all times; Prov. 17.17.and a brother is borne for adversitie. Friendship which is begotten by the outward forme, or any other sinister and by respect, liveth noe longer then that ground of affection: but nature is stronger then our election can bee; and religion obligeth farre more [Page 564] then both. O how greate then is my losse of my dearest brother, in whom both excellency of feature, neerenesse of blood, and a gracious conversation conspired together to render him matchlesse! To mee hee was a friend, but now to the grave: & what losse can be greater then the losse of a friend? To mee hee was a brother, but now to the wormes: and what losse can be more deplorable then the losse of a brother? But to mee hee was yet more: hee was a friend in his love and courtesies, a brother by his blood, yea and an instructer, a teacher of religion and goodnesse: and yet nor love, nor blood, nor religion could preserve him mine. O what sorrowes doe accompanie all thing transitorie! His love could not dye, but his body could: and so I am deprived of the societie of my brother, because my brother was subject to corruption. But is this the adversitie for which hee was borne, according to King Solomon? Did the wise man intend that a brother is borne to bring adversitie? Or rather to comfort us in the time of adversitie? Had hee beene a cause of my least disturbance while hee was living, hee would have eased my griefe by grieving himselfe. Hee would have comforted mee in the time of trouble, had hee lived to see my grievous mourning. But now alas I am left to lament alone; and so much the more for the want of his comfort. I now must grieve for him who was my joy: and my laments and my [Page 565] griefes increase the higher, because for his sake they arise who cannot allay them. Had wee lived in hatred, his death peradventure might have beene my comfort. Had wee loved but sleightly, a teare or two I might have thought enough to pay at his funerall. But our love was firme, it was strong, yea strong as death; Cant. 8.6. and who then can blame mee if my sorrowes in some measure keepe pace with my love? O what tye can be so greate as that of affection? What love so greate as of a brother and sister? And yet so vaine is man, so fraile are mortalls, that either our affection or our persons must have a divorce. Had my deceased brother forgotten the tye and bond of nature, and in his life had hee turned his love into hatred; yet his fault ought not to have lessened my love, to which both nature and religion did strongly oblige mee. Had hee loved mee but coldly and faintly, as diverse doe; yet I ought to have warmed his affection with the fervency of mine. But, oh, hee deerely loved, hee cord [...]ally affected mee: and yet his love and his affection could not prolong his life. There was a time when Moses was in the Mount; and while hee was receaving the written lawes of our glorious Maker, the Israëlites in his absence worshipped a Calfe insteed of the law-giver. But when Moses returned hee was so wrath with the people, that for so greate an offence against the law of God, hee decreed a revenge [Page 566] against the law of nature: yet was not that revenge provoked by a private and [...]n-warranted fury, but commanded by God: for so hee speaketh to the sonnes of Levi, and telleth them, Ex: 32.27. Thus saith the Lord God of Israël, Put every man hissword by his side, & goe in and out from gate to gate through out the campe, and slay every man his brother, & every man his companion, and every man his neighbour. Neighbours might be neere in habitation, yet not in affection; & thē the sword would devoure greedily. Companions might love in a superficiall manner, yet not in the heart; and then the sword might wound with freedome, though perhaps not with desire: yea and such contentions might arise in companie, that the sword might execute at the selfe same time as well a private as the publike revenge. But, that a brother should slay a brother; a brother more strongly allyed by spirit then flesh; a brother whose veines did swell with the selse-same blood as his that executed him; ô this, mee think's, did seeme very cruell. But let mee not erre in my forward censure: there can be noe true affection where there is not religion. If a brother offend, if a brother transgresse the lawes of God, religion will pleade to silence nature, when hee who is to be beloved above & before all, shall require our justice even against our brethrē. Alas what a sad time was it with those idolaters, when the punishment [Page 567] did appeare as full of terrour in the actors as the sufferers! Yea it seemed easier to dye by the hand of a brother, then to live to remember the brethren they had slaine. Had my brother and I beene idolaters together, I might have believed that that sinne had slaine my brother. But as our love was constant, so our religion was undefiled: yea the strength of our love was founded on the puritie of our religion; and yet hee hath payed his debt to nature. Is: 19.2 The Lord did threaten to set the Egyptians against the Egyptians, and that they should sight every one against his brother. Those Egyptians were heathens, and enemies to the church; but mybrother and I were united both in the profession and the love of Christianitie: and yet through our finnes I feare that even wee destroy each other. My sinnes are partly punished in his death: and his death hath given mee so deepe a wound, that peradventure I shall not long survive him. Our love was so entire, that mee think's I could willingly sleepe with him in his grave: for while I live, my breast is but his walking monument. Such love as ours did not allwayes possesse the hearts of some as neerely allyed; which maketh mee sigh to thinke that ever there were any which had layen successively in the selfe same wombe, and yet did not joyne in the unitie of affection. Such there have beene; I must believe it, because I find it in the sacred text. [Page 568] Yet when I reade it, mee think's, I have a thriling in my blood, and a kind of holy reveng [...] burning in my heart against those who dishonoured the name of a brother. There was a time when the Iewes were so wicked, that the Prophet was faine to advise them, saying, Take yee heede every one of his neighbour, Ier. 9.4and trust yee not in any brother; for every brother will supplant, and every neighbour will walke with slanders. And there was a time when the Church, complaining of her small increase, cryed out in bitternesse, and sayd, The good man is perished out of the earth; Mich: 7 2.there is none upright among men: They all lye in wayte for blood; they hunt every man his brother with a nett. Mee think's the advice of the Prophet may in some measure concerne my selfe; for I am taught not to trust in any brother, since hee whom I loved hath now forsaken mee. Mee think's the complaint of the Church may be part of an Elegie upon my deceased brother; for with her I may cry out, and that justly too, The good man is perished out of the earth. But neither can I say that hee was a Iew in supplanting; or an enemie to the Church, lying in wayte for blood. What secret devill did guide both the tongue and the hand of Ioab, when under the collour of friendship hee asked Amasa, 2. Sam. 20.9.Art thou in health my brother? And tooke him by the beard with the right hand to kisse him: & yet even at [Page 569] that time some him with his sword in the fifth ribb, and shed out his bowells to the ground that hee dyed? vers. 10 What cursed fiend did guide the tongue of that wicked miscreant whom the Psalmist chargeth thus, and saith, Ps: 50.20. Thou sittest and speakest against thy brother; thou slanderest thine owne mothers sonne? Had my brother either supplanted mee, or hunted mee with a nett, or sought to slay mee, or slandered mee with his tongue, then I might peradventure have saved this greate expence of my teares. But hee was allways so good a brother, that I could never justly charge him with the least discourtesie. O noe: Ps: 55.14.wee tooke sweete counsell together, and walked unto the house of God in companie. I may say of him as Nehemiah spake of Hanani the ruler of the pallace, Neh: 7.2. Hee was a faithfull man, and feared God above many. His blood was neere to mee; but his soule was neerer. His person I loved, as I was prompted to it by nature: but his inner man I more zealously affected, to which I was allured by his gracious endowments. Such a one in some measure hee was as my Redeemer himselfe did style his brother; Mat: 12 49. vers. 50. when hee stretched forth his hand towards his disciples, and sayd, Behold my mother, and my brethren: for whosoëver shall doe the will of my father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother. And yet though thus hee was my counseller; though thus hee was my companion in the wayes of [Page 570] godlinesse; though thus faithfull hee was, and feared God above many, labouring to doe the will of him that sent my Redcemer; yet neither his counsell, nor his society, nor his fidelitie, nor his religion could preserve him from the sentence of a temporall death. O what would I not doe to call him back againe? What would I not give to have him restored to life againe? But all that I can either doe, or give, cannot perswade his soule to returne back to its prison. Were I the most rich and wealthie in the world, yet could not my treasures urchase his returne. Noe, noe: I am well assured of the trueth of the Psalmist, who saith that They who trust in their wealth, Ps: 49.6and boast themselves in the multitude of their riches: vers. 7.none of them can by any meanes redeeme his brother; nor give to God a ransome for him. Well then; seing that I cannot fetch him from the grave, I will yet send up my sighes towards the place where hee is blessed. This I may doe without any check either of reason, or religion. It was a curse which God did Inflict upon Iehojakim for his sinnes; Ier: 22.17. even for his coveteousnesse, for his oppression, and for his violence, vers. 18 That they should not lament for him saying, Ah my brother. But on the contrarie when Deborah (though she was but Rebeckah's nurse) was buried beneath Bethel under an oake,Gen: 35.8.the name of it was called Allon-Bachuth, the oake of weeping. When the [Page 571] enemies of David were sisited with sicknesse, Ps: 35.14. hee behaved himselfe as though they had beene his friends, or his brethren: yea hee bowed downe heavily, as one that mourneth for his mother. But hee who now is dead was not mine enemie, but my friend; yea and noe common friend, but a brother; yea and not a brother in the flesh so much as in affection, even as deare as a mother: why then should I not sorrow for the losse of such a brother? I will grieve, I will lament when I remember the love, and the courtesies which hee shewed unto mee; and I will speake in the language of the Church to Christ, and say, O thou that wert my brother, Cant: 8.1.that sucked the breasts of my mother; when I should find thee without, I would kisse thee; yet I should not be despised. I will lament him as David did Saul and Ionathan, and say, 2. Sam. 1.19. vers. 23 vers. 26 The beautie of Israël is dead: hee was lovely, and pleasant in his life. I am distressed for thee my brother; very pleasant hast thou beene unto mee; thy love to mee was wonderfull, passing the love of women.
But what advantage to the dead are the teares of the living? Can my sighes inspire life into his bosome? Can a draught of my teares fetch him back againe to life? O noe: 'tis this, 'tis this therfore that doeth heighten and increase my sorrowes, even that my teares cannot recover him whom I lament. But cease fond woman, cease thy sobbs and cryes of discontent. By the extreamitie of thy passion [Page 572] thou mayst hasten to his grave: yet if th [...] murderest thy selfe with excessive sorrow, thy soule may be deprived of the locietie of his 'Tis true indeede; 'tis most true. Litle can I expect to come to heaven, if I violently force my selfe from the earth. Why then doe I take on, as if I either suspected his happinesse, or doubted of following him? What comfore can it bring to his body of earth, to have i [...] cabined in the grave with his dispersing ashe [...] The dust of both of us may mixe in the vault, and yet noe joy arise to our senselesse asher. If his earth was that which drew mine affertion, I see my fondnesse in the corruption of that earth: but if his gracious soule was the object of my love, I must strive to come where that surviveth. To heaven hee's gone, and to heaven I'll hasten: and because I will goe the surest way, I will walke in those paths which faith and patience shall direct mee in. I will noe more disturbe the peace of my mind, since that cannot helpe mee to the companie of him. Weepe indeede I doe; I am enforced unto it: 'tis the law of nature; 'tis an act of necessitie; I cannot avoide it. Yet, though I weepe, I will labour for content: and since my God (as I undoubtedly believe) hath beene pleased to crowne my brother with glory; I will beseech him to comfort mee here with his grace. I will not immoderately weepe, lest I injure my selfe: I will not Weepe without [Page 573] hope, lest I offend my Maker: but that I may weepe as I should, and hope as I ought, & live as I am required, I will humble my selfe at the feete of him to whom my brother is gone, and I will pray unto him, and say.
The Prayer.
ALl mighty God, ever-lasting father; Is: 9.6. thou in whom wee live, and move, and have pur beeing; be pleased to take pittie upon thy distressed servant grieving for the losse of a [...]eloved brother. Thou knowest, Lord, how [...]eerely our hearts were knitt in affection, and [...]herfore how justly I lament my losse. Be [...]hold how these teares doe witnesse my love, and imitate that oyntment on Aaron's head, Ps: 133.2.which went downe to the skirts of his out ward garments. Behold how these dropps like that deaw of Harmon, and that deaw which descended upon the mountaines of Zion, vers: 3. doe arise from that unitie which thou hast commanded. O how shall I beare the losse of him whom thou in thy law didst charge mee to love? Thou, ô God, didst tye us together in the bond of love & yet thou thy selfe hast seperated him from my sight. But since it was thy pleasure to receave him to thy selfe, be pleased allso to hasten my journie to him. Give mee patience to endure this stroake of thy scourge; and thankfully to acknowledge thy goodnesse [Page 574] in his happinesse. Him thou hast taken fron [...] the evills to come; Rom: 7 24. ô deliver mee allso from thi [...] body of death. Make mee setle mine affectio [...] onely upon thee, that my delight may be wholly in thy righteous lawes. Give mee a sight of my sinnes for which I have not grieved so much as for the losse of my deceased brother: and turne all my teares into a godly sorrow for offending thy majestie. Be thou unto mee a father in thy provident care, and a brother in thy love; that all my wants may be supplyed by thy sufficience. On earth, I see, there is nothing permanent: Lord let my treasure be stored in heaven; Mat: 6.21. and then where my treasure is let my heart be allso. When it shall be thy pleasure to free mee from this tabernacle of flesh, ô let mee be receaved into that quire of Saints, whereof I doubt not but my brother is a joyfull member. Graunt, ô my God, that when I have passed the waves of this troublesome world, I may sing tryumphant Halelujahs to thy praise and glory, through the merits of him who is mine elder brother, even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour. Amen.
subject 24 THE TWENTIE-FOURTH SUBJECT. Teares of a woman in a deepe Consumption, or in any other languishing disease.
The Soliloquie, Consisting of three parts: viz: • 1 A complaint, and description of the nature of the disease. , • 2 The cause of the maladie. , and • 3 The hope of recoverie.
part 1 The First part of the Soliloquie, expressing A complaint, and description of the nature of the disease.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation:
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
ALl flesh is as grasse (saith the Apostle); 1. Pet: 1 24. and all the glory of man as the flower of [Page 576] the grasse: The grasse withereth, and the flow [...] thereof falleth away. Blessed Apostle ho [...] truely hast thou discribed the condition o [...] humanitie! O how sensible am I of th [...] piercing trueth of that sacred text! Those whom age enforceth to decline, doe easily feele their approaching autumne: Io: 4.35 and when they lift up their eyes and looke on the field [...] (on the drooping yeeres of their parched selves) they easily conclude themselves to be white allready unto the horvest. But must death be confined to the leasure of antiquitie; and allways be locked out untill it hath complyed with age to destroy the prison? O noe: I find it otherwise. Death may as easily ente [...] at the gates of diseases, as at the stooping salie-port of numerous yeeres, Mee think's [...] see it staring and gaping upon mee with a [...] eager appetite and when I pleade the minoritie of my time, it telleth mee that the flowes may be cropped in their spring. True it is that every one in the prime of yeeres is like unto grasse, priding himselfe in the verdure of youth, if yet hee be permitted to enjoy i [...] with delight. Wee grow up with the strength of a juycie stemme; and beare the flowers o [...] beawtie and glory. But when our pompe hath jollied it selfe in the pleasure of earth, and our strength hath wantonned among the painted flowers of the springing fields; at length the sappe shall returne, the Sunne shall withdraw [Page 577] it selfe, the plant shall wither, and the sith shall cut it downe. But is this true in those alone whose hearie heads incline to the earth, and whose stooping bodies are bowed by antiquitie? Alas noe: Diseases have a power as greate as hath age; and can worke the carkeise in the selfe same mould as doeth length of dayes. I am sure it is so: I find it so, I see it so, I feele it so in the continuance of mine infirmitie. The naturall heate & moisture of my body decline like the juyce of the flowers In the time of their autumne: and, what a number of yeares could not easily have effected, the sharpnesse of a maladie can quickly conclude. Man dyeth (saith Iob), Iob: 14.10. and wasteth away; yea man giveth up the ghost, and where is hee? Too true, too true it is, that I dye while I live; and I wast away when I hope to increase. My life is but a lingering death; for my meates nourish mee not, my drinkes comfort mee not, my physick restore's mee not, my clothes content mee not, and my bed easeth mee not. When I hope that my meate will nourish mee, then the weakenesse of my stomack chides mee for my hope, and tell's mee that it is wearie of the labour of the teeth. When I desire that my drinke should comfort mee, then the in-disposition of my concoction frustrateth my desires, and causeth my stomack to render back the present in contempt of the briberie. When I too seriously [Page 578] rely upon the skill of the Physitian, and have a kind of confidence that his physick shall restore mee; then, either his ignorance of my disease, or the debilitie of my deaded body, or the in-disposition of the druggs flowte's mee for my confidence, and tell's mee I must dye. When my clothes are presented to the heate of the fire, and requested to convey the warmth to my chillowed body; then either the ayer lyeth in wayte, and robbeth them of the heate; or else the stricktnesse of the poares of my shrivelled skinne deny it accesse by those contracted doores.Iob. 7.13. vers: 14 vers: 15 vers: 16When I say, My bed shal comfort mee my couch shall ease my complaint; them am I skared with dreames, and terrified through visions; so that my soule chooseth death rather then life. I loath it; I would not live allway: let mee alone, for my dayes are vanitie.Ps: 22.15.My strength is dryed up like a pot-sheard; my tongue cleaveth to my jawes; and I am brought into the dust of death. I am chastened with paine upon my bed; Iob: 33 19. Ps: 22.17.and the multitude of my bones with strong paine. I may tell all my bones; they looke and stare [...] upon mee. Lord what a walking ghost am I become; even able to affright the world with amazement and wonder at the power of a Consumption! Eyes fare yee well; yee shall noe more be admird by spectatours; nor convey enticements of wickednesse to my deluded heart. Eares fare yee well: yee shall noe [Page 579] more enjoy the fond delights of earthly musick; nor shall the Ecchoeing Choristars of the yealding ajer any more bewitch you with the melodie of their voyces. And yee the rest of my senses, take your leaves: labour noe more the service of my body; for bitternesse hath seized upon my tast, roughnesse my touch, and dullnesse my smelling. Mine eyes have now none other object, then the bare perusing of [...]he craggie mountaines of my rising bones; and [...]he pale, dull, lead-colloured skinne is so brivelled and deformed, just like the parchment which is contracted and puckered by the [...]eate of the fire. Mine Eares are entertained with noe other sound's then a hollow cough which borroweth from my lungs as much of their froath as they can spare at a time; and make's mee see how I howerly consume by mammocks. All that I have is paine; and all that I am is a burden to my selfe. When I thinke to walke, my knees complaine, my Feete are unwilling: & if the charitable hand of a friend supporteth mee, I am to beginne againe to learne to goe. When I thinke to discourse, the first word biddeth mee be silent and speake noe more, lest my spirits should slinke from mee in the ajer of my speech. I am growne as much a trouble to society, as they doe appeare a burden unto mee. I am not so weake in my digestion as I am various in mine appetite: and if speedily I am not furnished [Page 580] with what I long for, I am presently passionate; if it cometh as I desire, I am cloyed with the sight. I puzzle mine invention to become my Caterer: and if I obtaine what I thinke upon, I am surfieted with looking upon it. Full I am of paine; but distinctly and most predominantly I know not where. Every part hath a share in the anguish; and yet I cannot say which part is most afflicted. I cry when I am pained, and yet 'tis a paine to mee to cry yea and 'tis follie to cry, because I receave [...] certaine hurt by it, but noe release from th [...] which I cryfor. I envy all that enjoy the [...] health; and each moment I am ready to repi [...] at him who hath brought mee so low. Th [...] smile of a visitant is a dagger at my heart: for while I find my selfe thus lingering in a sicknesse, I looke that the whole world should decay for companie. I am fretfull, and peevish, and disturbed with every thing; yea even by a continuance of the fretfulblesse it selfe. One while I faine would have my life prolonged: another while I cry out for a speedie departure. Sometimes I have a kind of glimmering o [...] health; and then I am so proude of it, that [...] adventure too much. Either I eate too much, or I walke too much, or I discourse too much; or one thing or other exceeding its proportion speedes mee back againe to my former weaknesse: & then am I sorrie for what I have done and yet am I apt either to denie, or excuse it.
Thus, ô thus is my body perplexed: but all this while I say nothing of my soule. I am sensible of the anguish which I feele in my body; but in what estate or condition doe I find my foule? My body is allmost resolved into that whereof it was framed; my soule therfore is not long to continue upon earth. When they shall part, it will prove either a day of tryumphant blisse; or else a dismall time [...]t will be of horrour and confusion. O come, come thou fond and foolish woman: looke [...]o that darling which ere long shall be crowned with a diademe of glory, or else be damned with the rebellious ghosts. Well; I am resolved: I will now take up; & banishing the thoughts or hopes of recoverie, I will prepare my selfe that I may meete my God. O my God assist mee in this my resolution, and blesse mee in the performance.
part 2 The second part of the Soliloquie, expressing the cause of the maladie.
HAd Adam continued in his integritie, man should have beene freed from the tortures of sicknesse. The dead and trampled earth should not have beene freer from thornes and thistles, then man the living earth from [Page 582] maladies and infirmities. But ô I feele the sowernesse of the apple in the bitternesse and sharpnesse of my disease; and needes must I therfore remember mine originall corruption. This is the cause of my languishing; this is the ground of my feeblenesse. But is this all? Have I nothing but the staine which I inherit from my parents, to be termed the cause of this my miserie? One onely offence to my greate creatour hath power enough to purchase my disquiet. But have I but one? Is mine hereditarie sinne mine onely crime? Surely I feare that I have something amisse in mine owne thoughts, and words, and actions, as well as in my parent's un-kind legacie. I cannot believe that God doeth afflict my body with these chastisements, yea and threaten my soule too with eternall tortures; and all this onely for a sinne of Adam so many ages since committed. Thus indeede hee might doe, and yet I should not chuse but justifie him when hee should speake, Ps: 51.4and cleare him when hee should judg. Oh but I feele some-thing else at my heart as weightie as lead, which make's mee cry out: it is some-thing at my conscience, which telleth mee that I have more to answer for then the pollutions of nature: it assureth mee that I have offended; cruelly, deepely, desperately I have offended. 'Tis true, ô mine angrie, my disturbed conscience; I must confesse I have. Oh my heart: I feele there, I feele [Page 583] there something more then an universall guilt. I have offended; I have sinned actually, greatly, mightily, bloodily in every thought, in every word, in every action. I have so industriously imployed my time to the dishonour of my God that I cannot remember I ever pleased him. Guiltie, guiltie: I must, I doe confesse my selfe, highly guiltie of fearefull crimes; such as disturbe mee in the very remembrance. O my God vouchsafe mee a repenting heart for them; yet never without the assurance of thy mercy and pardon through the sufferance of thy Sonne. How can I choose but find my sinnes even in my very feeble and consuming sicknesse? Since I have so many testimonies in the sacred pages, that God is noe revenger untill mee are delinquents! All disturbances of the body doe un-doubtedly arise from the pollutions of the soule. The Prophet David confessed it, and said, Ps: 38.3 There is noe soundnesse in my flesh because of thine anger; neither is there any rest in my bones, by reason of my sinnes. My Redeemer justified it, when hee who had beene shaken with a palsie was brought unto him lying upon his bed: for hee cured him, Mat: 9.2. and said, Sonne be of good cheere, thy sinnes be forgiven thee. And againe when thirtie & eight yeeres had beene spent by a man in a lingering disease; and after that my Iesus had cured him, when hee found him in the Temple, Io: 5.14. his words to him were, Behould thou art made [Page 584] whole; sinne noe more, lest a worse thing come unto thee. Saint Paul assured the Corinthians, that because they did unworthily approach the table of the Lord, 1. Cor: 11.30. even for this cause many were weake and sick among them, and many slept. Thus the punishment is sent from God; but the offence is both in, and from our selves.
But have all diseases the same originall? Is sinne the ground of every sicknesse? Cannot I be afflicted with this languishing maladie, but it must needes proceede from the wickednesse I have committed? Noe doubtlesse: for this very kind and manner of sicknesse hath particularly beene threatned, yea and sent too as a punishment for disobedience. A languishing hath beene threatned and sent upon the very creatures, for the sinnes and wickednesse of the offending people. Thus the Prophet bemoaneth the punishment of the Iewes for their greate rebellions, and saith, The earth mourneth, Is: 24.4and fadeth away; the world languisheth, and fadeth away; the height of the people of the earth doeth languish. Ier: 14.2. Thus in a grievous famine Iudah mourned, and the gates thereof languished: they were black unto the ground, and Ierusalem was gone up. Is: 16.8 Thus the fields of Hesbon languished, and the vine of Shibmah: the lords of the heathen brake downe the principall plants thereof. Ioel 1.10. Thus among the Iewes, the field was wasted; the land mourned, [Page 585] for the corne was wasted; the new wine was dryed up; the oyle languished:vers: 12the vine was dryed up; and the figg-tree languished. Thus in the confusion of Egypt the fishers mourned, Is: 19.8and all that did cast the angle into the brookes lamented; and they that spread netts upon the waters did languish. Thus among the enemies of the church the earth mourned and languished; c: 33.9Lebanon was ashamed and hewen downe; Sharon was like a wildernesse; and Bashan, and Carmel did shake off their fruits. But what was the reason of all these judgments; of all this languishing sent upon the creatures? I neede not goe farre to seeke the cause: the Prophet will soone determine it: for hee complaineth of the people, that By swearing, and lying, Hos: 4.2.and killing, and stealing, and committing adulterie they brake forth; and blood touched blood. These were their sinnes; but what was the effect? The selfe same Prophet immediately after threatneth them with it, saying, vers. 3. Therfore shall the land mourne, and every one that dwelleth therein shall languish, with the beasts of the field, and with the fowles of heaven. Here was the earth, and the world; the citties, and the fields, and the vines, and the plants, and the lands, and the corne, and the oyle, and the figtrees; and all languishing, grievously languishing; and the cause thereof was the people's sinne. But yet, mee think's, this cannot [Page 586] much concerne mee. Shall I for a smootie eare of corne or two, or for the drying of the branch of a vine or a figtree, presently conclude that the withering of them can paralell my consumption? Yes doubtlesse: I must, if I looke into the cause. The trees, and the other of the smaller plants could never either be guiltie of an offence, or be sensible of a punishment: but the men, the men, they were the offenders; and for their transgressions, their mother earth had her second curse. I cannot pleade mine owne innocency; or pretend that I am free from the guilt of enormities. Noe, noe; I cannot. I may therfore conceave my selfe one of the trees which I find so cursed: for my branches (mine armes, my leggs, & my thighs) doe pine away: my fruits (my workes, and my labours) are now decayed: and what can I say, or pleade for my selfe? I am one of those trees which the Apostle speaketh of, whose fruite withereth; Iud. 12without fruit; twice dead: and now am I ready to be plucked up by the rootes. Yet for all this my stubborne heart, mee think's, stand's out; and would faine perswade mee that the curse of the trees resemble's not my disease. But I hope that I shall came this heart of mine, and put it to silence, when I shall search more narrowly in to the sacred booke.
Wherfore did the Prophet say that hee heard from the Lord God of hosts a ConsumptionIs: 28.22.[Page 587] determined even upon the whole earth? VVas it not because the people sayd, vers: 15They had made a covenant with death; and with hell they were at agreement: when the overflowing scourge should passe thorow, it should not come nigh them: for they had made lyes their refuge; and under falsehood they had hid themselves? Doeth not the Lord by the mouth of Moses threaten the people, saying, If yee will not hearken unto mee, Lev: 26 14. vers. 16and will not doe these commandements, I will allso doe this unto you: I will even appoint over you terrour, Consumption, and the burning ague, that shall consume the eyes, and cause sorrow of heart? Doeth hee not againe menace them, and say, Deut: 28. The Lord shall smite thee with a Consumption, and a feaver, and with an inflammation, and with an extreame burning? Doeth not the Prophet tell the people, saying, Is: 10.22. vers. 23. The Consumption decreed shall over-flow in righteousnesse: for the Lord God of hosts shall make a Consumption, even determined in the midst of all the land? O my conscience, my conscience, thou art now at a stand [...] O my heart, my hardest heart, thou art now struck dead. Loe here's my very disease, my Consumption; and is here not my sinne too? Have I never made a covenant with death; or beene at agreement with hell? Have I never made lyes my refuge; or hid my selfe under false-hood? Have I not [Page 588] refused to hearken to my God, and to doe his commandements? O how faine would I have attributed my disease to fecond causes; and rather have thanked the Physitian then the Divine for telling mee the ground! But now I am at a stand; and must needs confesse in the midst of my torments, that I find in them the displeasure of my maker. I cannot urge one act of goodnesse that ever I did, to pleade my pardon for the least, for the smallest sinne which I have committed. Alas I find my destinie in the booke of Psalmes, where the Prophet telleth mee that The wicked shall perish, Ps: 37.20.and the enemies of the Lord shall be as the fatt of lambs: they shall Consume; into smoake shall they Consume away. O were I but worthy to be ranked in the forme with Aoraham, I might as well as hee, be styled The friend of God. Iam: 2.23. But my conscience telleth mee, that though God be my friend in his goodnesse and longsuffering; yet never was I hitherto a friend of his. Such a friend to him indeede I am, as hee was whom in his meekenesse hee called a friend; Mat: 22 12. hee who shifted in for a dinner among the guests that were invited. But what became of him? Alas when hee was found not having on a wedding garment, vers: 11 vers: 13 the Lord then said unto his servants, Bind him hand and foote, and take him away, and cast him into outward darknesse; there shal be weeping, and gnashing of teeth. O this [Page 589] dreadfull sentence have I deserved, besides this consumption which I now groane under: and all because I am an enemie of the Lord's. This shall be the plague (saith the Prophet) wherewith the Lord shall smite all the people that have fought against Ierusalem: Zech: 14.12.Their flesh shall consume away while they stand upon their feete; and their eyes shall consume away in their holes; and their tongue shall consume away in their mouth. Ierusalem is the vision of peace; Gal: 4.26. But I have allways warred against it. The Church upon earth hath found mee an adversarie; and that Ierusalem which is above hath found mee an enemie. This is my fault; and justly therfore doe I feele this punishment. For this offence my flesh consumeth away while I stand on my feete; mine eyes are mistied, and over-cast with dimnesse; and my tongue is so feeble, that I can skarce complaine. I may now cry out as Hezekiah did, and say, Mine age is departed, Is: 38.12.and is removed from mee as a sheep-heard's tent: I have cutt off, like a weaver, my life: hee will cutt mee off with pining sicknesse: from day even to night wilt thou make an end of mee. But let mee not forget the sinne of Hezekiah. His heart was lifted up; 2. Ch [...] 32.25.therfore there was wrath upon him, and upon Iudah, and upon Hierusalem. Let mee not forget mine owne sinne. My heart hath beene lifted up too: I have beene proude; yea I have swelled with scorne, and contempt. O that with Hezekiah too, vers: 26 I [Page 590] could humble my selfe for the pride of my heart, so that the wrath of the Lord might not come upon mee. O that I could pray, with Hezekiah, & weepe with Hezekiah; that the Lord might say unto mee as hee did unto him, Is: 38.5. I have heard thy prayer, I have seene thy teares! That curse which David prophetically layed upon the wicked in his time: Ps: 58.7 mee think's, doeth seeme at the first severe; but yet it is just: Let them melt away as waters which runne continually:vers. 8.as a snaile which melteth let every one of them passe away; like the untimely sruit of a woman, that they may not see the Sunne. The snaile consumeth wheresoëver it crawleth: and yet the providence of God is such, that the consuming snaile is often found a remedie for the Consumption. Thus what is good for my disease is troubled with the same: and that which some have found to be a remedie, is to mee a certaine remembrancer of my miserie: ô that every thing might put mee in mind as well of the cause of this my disease!
Lord how my flesh doeth quiver, though but litle is left of it! How my heart doeth tremble, as if noe comfort were left mee! I have sinned: I have done very wickedly. But doeth the cure of my sicknesse as much exceede the power of my God, as the skill of my Phisitian? Noe, noe: hee may, if hee please, restore mee to health againe: and hee may, when hee pleaseth, commit mee to [Page 591] the wormes. All is in his hand: ô what shall I doe to purchase his favour? What shall I doe to have him reconciled? Faine I would weepe for my sinnes, but I know not how. Faine I would shed some penitent teares; but hardly will nature afford mee moisture enough. But I resolve howsoever that noe excuse shall save a teare, or a throb; since without these I cannot hope for excuse, and pardon. Alas my sinnes lye heavie at the doore: Gen: 4.7. but I will rowle them away with the force of a water course. I will grieve for my offending so mercifull a God: I will lament for the offences which I have committed against him that visiteth mee. I have but a litle time to continue upon earth, unlesse it shall please him to restore mee to health. Earth I am; I must confesse it: but I would not be drie; I would not be dust, untill I am layed to sleepe in the dust. Io: 9.6.Hee who made clay with his spitle to cure the blind, can open mine eyes with the blessing of a teare. Mee think's I am like unto the corne that is ground in a mill; for so am I torne so am I crumbled, & worne into meale. But since I am so, I will make dough of this meale: I will leaven it with my sorrowes; I will adde unto it the water of my teares; I will kneade it by contrition; and bake it with the heate of that zeale which I will preserve in my heart: and then will I pray that it may be a present accepted by my God. Thus will I weepe in my [Page 592] languishing sicknesse; thus will I lament for the cause of my sicknesse: but I will weepe in faith, and I will lament in hope that my Iesus will say unto mee as hee did to the woman that touched his garment, Mat: 9.22. Daughter be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole; thy sinnes are forgiven thee.
part 3 The Third part of the Soliloquie, setting forth the Patient's hope of recoverie.
THe hower of death seemeth neere approaching; and putteth mee in remembrance of my last account. The weakenesse of my body telleth mee now that the time is comeing wherein I must appeare at the greate tribunall, Mee think's these leane and languishing joynts doe seeme to wonder at mee for so long entertaining the fleeting ayre; and doe groane under the burden of this sharpe disease. Lord I cannot hope to continue here long, since the litle house of my body is so tottering and shaking. And yet mee thinks I have not sufficiently compleated the worke of my repentance; and cannot therfore account my selfe ready to meete my God. I repent indeede of whatsoever formerly I have done amisse; and yet I cannot choose but doe amisse againe, even as soone as I have repented. I tremble [Page 593] when I thinke upon the punishment due to offenders; and yet I tremble not when I commit, when I act mine offences. Readie I am not to dye; too desirous I would not be to live: and yet dye I must; and yet live I may. Lord if thou prolongest my life, renew mine obedience. I would be contented to live; but then I would live without sinne. I could yeeld to continue a while that I might perfect my repentance; but then I am sure I should adde to the number of those sinnes whereof I repent. I will resolve therfore neither to hasten my death, nor yet too eagerly will I desire life. I must needes confesse that I am willing enough to live. Lord graunt that if I doe live, I may live to thy glory; and if I doe recover my health, I may expresse my thanks in a religious life. Thus I pray with my lipp; but doe I pray so with my heart? I am apt to promise unto God more then I feare I shall be able to performe; and all these promises are made in hope that I may recover my strength. Yea and it may please him who is the Physitian both of the soule and body, to restore my body to health and strength. I know that it is in his power; hee may doe it if hee pleaseth. Mat: 19 26. With men indeede this seemeth impossible; but with God all things are possible. If I live, I will spend my time in his service: and upon these conditions I may hope to live. Yea and so I will hope: why should I not? Hee, in whom alone I doe hope, hath [Page 594] power to graunt the thing that I hope for; yea and to give a blessing thereto if hee full-filleth my hopes. By him even dead bodies have beene restored to life: it is not hard therfore for him to restore a living body to health. When Tabitha was dead, Act: 9.37. vers: 39and washed, and layd out, Peter went into the upper chamber, where all the widowes stood by him weeping, and shewing the coates and garments which Dorc [...]s had made whilest yet shee was with them. vers: 40 Then the Apostle put them all forth, and kneeled downe, and prayed: and turning him to the body hee sayd, Tabitha arise; and shee opened her eyes: & when shee saw Peter, shee sate up. Here was a wonder wrought by a man, farre greater then the recoverie of my health would prove: but this man receaved his power from God. Mat. 9.8. Well might the people marveile when they saw such things; and glorifie God, who had given such power unto men. But Saint Peter is dead; and in these latter times those miracles are ceased of restoring the dead. What then? I am yet alive; and my cure is not difficult to him who is emnipotent. Hee did worke many wonders by his Apostles, Act: 19 11. even upon the living; and speciall miracles by the hand of Saint Paul; vers: 12so that from his body were brought unto the sick, handkercheifs or aprons; & the diseases departed from them, & the evill spirits went out of them. And hee who wrought cure of the people without meanes, can give such a blessing [Page 595] to the meanes, that I may thereby be restored againe, many diseases my Redeemer himselfe did cure, while hee was upon earth. It is true that hee is now not here in the flesh: hee is ascended into heaven. But what of that? Though his humanitie be there, yet his divinitie is every where. I will therfore submit to his pleasure; and I will hope for my health. While hee was upon earth hee delighted in cures; and his mercie remaineth still the same: readily will I therfore submit to his pleasure. Mar. 2.3. Once was a man so weake with the palsie; that hee was borne by fower: vers 4. and when by reason of the preasse they could not come neere the doores of the house where my Saviour was, they un-covered the roofe, and let him downe in his bed. When Iesus saw their faith, vers. 5.hee said unto the sick of the palsie, Sonne thy sinnes be forgiven thee. Mat: 8.14.When Peter's wive's mother was sick of a feaver, vers. 15 my Saviour did but onely touch her hand, and the feaver left her, and shee arose, and ministred unto them. c. 4.24.The people brought unto him all sick folke that were taken with diverse diseases, and torments; and those that were possessed with devills, and those that were lunatick, and those that had the palsy; and hee healed them. It is hee alone that can heale; and therfore to him alone will I pray that I may be healed. Were my disease as ould as my body, & my body as ancient as time it selfe; yet hee that [Page 596] can remit my sinnes, can restore my health. But my disease is not so ancient; and therfore the cure doeth not seeme to be so hard. Suppose that I have languished a moneth, a quarter, a whole yeare: What if three? What if sixe? What if a dozen yeares? It exceedeth not either his power, Mat. 9.20. or skill to make mee whole. Hee cured a woman who for twelve yeares together had beene diseased of an issue of blood in her body. Mar: 5.26. Shee, poore woman, had suffered many things of many physitians, and had spent al that shee had; and yet was nothing bettered, but rather grew worse. Thus despairing of any helpe from man, shee addressed herselfe to him who is both God and man. To him that cure was so easie, that shee did but onely touch the hemme of his garment & strait way the fountaine of her blood was dryed up, vers. 29and shee felt in her body that shee was healed of that plague. There was a miracle indeede, that with the touch of a garment the disease should be cured. If such power did lye in the hemne of his garment, what vertue must I needes believe did lie in his body! But what comfort can I receave from this which I reade, when I know that that body is ascended into heaven? Fond woman as I am, why doe I thus waver? Though his flesh be from mee, yet his spirit is with mee. Yea and his flesh, and his blood is offered still unto Christians upon earth. Hee giveth not onely his garment to touch, but allso his flesh: [Page 597] and that not to touch, onely, but even to eate, to seede upon in the blessed sacrament. That woman was cured by the touch of his garment; and shall not I hope for his mercy who feede upon his flesh and blood in the Eucharist? Yes, yes; I must, I will believe that hee for his owne sake will remitt my sinnes; and that (if it may advantage the glory of his name) hee [...]an, and may recover my health.
Yet all this while I thinke but of a disease of twelve yeares standing. What if I had beene sick for eighteene yeares together? Might I therfore despaire of his power? Noe, noe; I might not; I durst not. Lu: 13.11. Doe not I reade of a woman who had a spirit of insirmitie eighteene yeares, and was bowed together, and could in noe wise lift up herselfe? A disease shee had which in effect was not alltogether unlike unto mine; for I stoope too, and am allmost bowed together through the weakenesse and infirmitie of my body; and cannot lift up my selfe, but am enforced to require the aide of my friends and attendance to raise mee, and to support mee. Yet I reade that when Iesus saw her, vers: 12hee called her unto him, and said unto her, Woman thou art loosed from thine infirmitie: vers: 13And hee layd his hands on her, and immediately shee was made straite, and glorified God. It may be his pleasure to speake such comfort allso unto mee: for I have not beene sick so many [Page 598] yeares as was shee: and I seeke my Saviour, which shee did not, allthough I must acknowledge it is his grace which worketh in mee this my seeking of him: yea and I begge the cure, whereas shee was asked if shee would be cured. Why then should I not hope that hee will lay his hands upon mee, and make mee straite, and restore mee whole, as hee did that woman, that I may glorifie him for it?
But suppose that my disease had continued above twentie yeares: suppose above thirtie: should the long continuance make mee determine the cure impossible? Nothing lesse: for I reade that a certaine man was at the poole of Bethesda, Io. 5.5.who had an infirmitie thirtie and eight yeares: vers. 6.and when my Iesus sam him lye there, and knew that hee had beene now a long time in that case, hee said unto him, Wilt thou be whole? vers. 7.The impotent man answered him, Sir I have noe man, when the water is troubled, to put mee into the poole; but while I am coming, another steppeth downe before mee.vers. 8. vers. 9.Iesus saith unto him, Rise, take up thy bed, and walke: and immediately the man was made whole, and tooke up his bed, and walked. Loe here is some comfort still: thirtie and eight yeares continuance was nothing to Christ. Hee who is eternall seeth all things at once, and doeth all things without difficultie. Surely that man was intended for a patterne of patience; and that I might learne [Page 599] contentedly to suffer what my God shall lay upon mee. Hee despaired not of health though his disease was inveterate; but hee lay [...] the poole, and expected still the hand of mercy [...]o lift him into the water, nothing doubting [...]f the cure if hee could in due time but get [...]to the poole. Nor may I despaire of what [...]y God can doe; but I must continue in my [...]pplications, enduring mine affliction with [...]tience, and referring all to his holy pleasure, [...] must be as constant in my prayers as the man [...]as constant in his attendance at the poole. ‘At [...]y gate, ô Christ, I must, I doe continually [...]e. Thy blood, ô Iesus is the onely Bethesda [...]r my distressed soule. Lord leade mee into [...]at poole of blood by the hand of faith, and then I shall not distrust the effect of that [...]ver. O cleanse my soule, and then I shall willingly submit to thy pleasure for my body.’
But still, ô still my paines increase, and my flesh consume's. I pray, and I begge, and I beseech; and yet I find noe ease, noe reliefe. The continuance of my sicknesse doe's but [...]each mee the ignorance of the Physitians; or [...]he deadnesse of the druggs and potions. I am dyeted, and I am physicked, and my body is become the very shop of an Apothecarie; and yet I find noe ease, noe comfort. 'Tis true that thirtie and eight yeares continuance of a maladie hindered not Christ from curing with a word. But if it had remained longer, could [Page 600] hee have done the like? Yes surely: why not? Hee himselfe could as well have doo [...] that, as have given power to his Apostles t [...] restore the Criple, who had beene fortie yea [...] lame. This was done by Peter and Iohn: for the man that was above fortie yeares ould, Act: 14 22. c: 3.2. and had beene lame from his mother's wombe, even on him was shewed this miracle of healing I may hope for some favour too from the hands of my God: for though to mee it might appeare allmost a miracle that I should recore, yet with God it is as easily effected by a word, as was the greate creation of heaven and earth. I will therfore submit to his pleasure, and [...] upon his goodnesse. Hee is a God of mercy, an tender compassion: hee is the greate Physitia both of soule, and body: hee hath allways delighted in acts of charitie. It was his promise upon some conditions, to heale a who [...] land: 2. Chr: 7.14. for his owne words are, If my people which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seeke my face, and turn [...] from their wicked wayes; then will I heare from heaven, and will forgive their sinne, and wi [...] heale their land. ‘I am one of the people, ô Christ that is called by thy name; for a Christian I am though a sinfull, and a feeble Christian; and thou hast humbled mee with this thy visitation, and grace thou hast given mee (I blesse the for it) to humble my selfe in the consideration of mine iniquities, and to pray; and to se [...] [Page 601] thy face. Lord perfect thy good workes, and make mee turne from mine iniquities; and then heare mee from heaven, and forgive my sinne; and (if it may stand with thy eternall decree) heale thy servant.’
Hee hath likewise shewed his mercy even in healing of waters: 2. King 2.21. for his Prophet Elisha went forth to the spring of un-wholesome waters, and cast salt in there, and said, Thus saith the Lord, I have healed these waters; there shall not [...]e from thence any more death, or barren land. So the waters were healed,vers: 22according to the saying of Elisha the Prophet. ‘Lord I have waters too that require thy helpe; for they are un-wholesome, they are sinfull. I weepe, and I lament; my teares runne downe on my cheekes; Lam. 1.2. and all either with extreamitie of anguish, or feare of death, or despaire of thy power to restore mee to health: few of them are for my sinnes, few of them for my transgressions. But some hope I have that thou wilt likewise heale these waters; for allready thou hast cast some salt into them; I find by my tast that they are brackish, that they are brinish. Lord let mee be noe longer a barren land, but make mee fruitfull in good works, Col: 1.10 Ps: 1.3. that I may be like unto a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruite in due season: and then though this leafe for a time may faile, though the flower of my body may be cropped, or mowed for the harvest; yet I know that my Redeemer [Page 602] will not cast it into the fire, but will make it spring up hereafter in eternall glory.’
Hee hath allso healed the persons of diverse of his people; Ps: 107.20. for so saith the Psalmist, Hee sent his word and healed them, & delivered them frō their destructions. Is: 19.22. So Isaiah prophesieth concerning Egypt, saying, The Lord shall smite Egypt; hee shall smite and heale it; and they shall returne even to the Lord, and hee shall be intreated of them, and shall heale them. O what comfortable words were these to Egypt! Hee may, if hee please, cheere mee up allso with the like; for hee hath allready smitten mee; and in his loving kindnesse hee hath so sanctified this affliction, that by it hee hath made mee to returne unto him. O Lord now, if it be thy pleasure, be thou intreated of mee, & heale mee.
This God is the same God who speaketh by the mouth of Moses, and saith, See now that I, Deut: 32.39.even I am hee, and there is noe God with mee: I kill, and I make alive; I wound, and I heale; neither is there any that can deliver out of my hand. This is the same Lord whom Hannah did magnifie in her thankfull Song, and said, The Lord killeth, and maketh alive; hee bringeth downe to the grave, 1. Sam. 2.6.and bringeth up. This is the same God of whom Iob his servant professeth and boasteth, saying, Hee maketh sore, Iob. 5.18.and bindeth up; hee woundeth, and his hands make whole. This is the same Lord VVhom David commandeth his soule to [Page 603] magnifie, and saith, Ps. 103 1. vers: 2. Blesse the Lord ô my soule, and all that is within mee blesse his holy name: Blesse the Lord ô my soule, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseafes; vers: 3. and who redeemeth thy life from destruction. vers: 4.this God is the same God who alone hath power over soule & body; & can, if hee pleaseth, preserve them both. Hee it is whose mercies were promised to his Church, when by his Prophet hee said, The light of the Moone shall be as the light of the Sunne; Is: 30.26.and the light of the Sunne shall bee seaven fold as the light of seaven dayes, in the day that the Lord bindeth up the breach of his people, and healeth the stroake of their wound. Hee it is who giveth such Euangelicall promises to penitent Iudah, and saith, I have seene his wayes, and will heale him; c: 57.18.I will leade him allso, and restore comforts to him, and to his mourners. I create the fruite of the lipps, peace, peace to him that is farre off, vers: 19and to him that is neere saith the Lord, and I will heale him. This is hee who inviteth Israel to come unto him, and saith, Returne yee back-sliding Children and I will heale your backsliding. Ier: 3.22. And this is hee to whom Israel replyeth, and saith, vers: 23 Behold wee come unto thee, for thou art the Lord our God. Truely in vaine is salvation hoped for from the hills, and from the multitude of mountaines; [Page 604] truely the Lord our God is the salvation of Israel. This is hee who promiseth unto Zion, c: 30.17. saying I will restore health unto thee, and I will heale thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord, because they called thee an out-cast, saying, This is Zion whom no man seeketh after. This is the same Lord to whom the people of Israel addressed themselves, Hos. 6.1. when they said, Come & let us returne unto the Lord; for hee hath torne, and hee will heale us: hee hath smitten, and hee will bind us up. Since then my God hath cured both lands, and waters, and bodies, and soules: Since hee woundeth, and hee healeth; & none can deliver out of his hand: Since hee bringeth downe to the grave, and bringeth up: Since hee woundeth, and his hands make whole: Since it is hee onely who forgiveth all our iniquities, healeth all our diseases, and saveth our lives from destruction: Since it is hee that bindeth up the breach of his people, and healeth the stroake of their wound: Since it was hee that promised to penitent Iudah, that hee would restore comforts to him and to his mourners: Since it is hee alone who is the salvation of Israël: Since it is hee that promised unto Zion to restore health unto her, and to heale her of her wounds: I will resolve therfore, with the people of Israel, to returne unto him; for hee hath torne mee, and hee alone can heale mee; hee hath smitten mee, and hee alone can bind mee up. To him, to him will I humbly sue for the cure of my wounded [Page 605] and distressed soule; and to him will I willingly submitt my weake, and feeble body. I will powre out my soule unto him; I will send up my supplications unto him, and will pray and say.
The Prayer.
GReate Creatour, full of compassion; who both sendest sicknesse, and restorest health; be thou graciously pleased (I most humbly beseech thee) to turne thy wrath from thy distressed servant. Thy hand, ô Lord, is heavie upon mee in this languishing consumption; and the sting of my transgressions pierceth mee with sharpe, and grievous torments. Yet I must confesse, ô my God, that my sufferances doe not any wayes equall mine offences; nor can the paines which I endure satisfie thee mine offended Lord for the least of my transgressions. O, my sinnes are upon mee, Eze: 33.10.and I pine away in the punishment for them; how then shall I live? My body languisheth, my flesh consumeth; Ps: 22.15. Ps: 39.11. Iob: 33 19. vers: 20 and now am I very neere drawne unto the dust of death. Thou with thy rebukes doest correct mee for mine iniquities; thou makest my beautie to consume away like a moath. I am chastened with paine upon my bed, and the multitude of my bones with strong paine, so that my [Page 606] life abhorreth bread, and my soule the daintie meate that is to be desired. vers: 21 My flesh is consumed away that it cannot be seene; and my bones that were not seene,vers. 22stick out. My soule draweth neere unto the grave; and my life to the destroyers. But yet I know that with thee, ô God, is compassion, Mat: 9.12. and tender mercies. The whole have noe neede of the Physitian; but such as I, who am sick, and in miserie. O that it might be sayd of mee as it was by Mary concerning her brother Lazarus, Io: 11.3. even that Shee whom thou lovest is sick. O my God make mee thy friend in heart and soule, and graunt that I may expresse it in my dutifull obedience to all thy commandements: and then be thou my friend in thy succour and reliefe. Ps: 41.1 vers. 2.Deliver mee now in this time of trouble; preserve mee, and (If it may be thy good pleasure) keepe mee alive; make mee blessed upon the earth, and deliver mee not over into the hands of death. vers. 3. Lord strengthen mee upon this my bed of languishing: make thou, & turne thou all my bed in my sicknesse. Thou hast chastened mee sore; Ps. 118.18. Ps. 116.8. vers. 9. Ps. 143.6. ô give mee not over unto death; but deliver my soule from death, mine eyes from teares, and my feete from falling, that I may walke before thee in the land of the living. Vnto thee, ô my God, doe I stretch forth my hands: my soule thirsteth for thee as a thirstie land. vers: 7.Heare mee speedily, ô Lord; my spirit faileth: hide not thy face from mee, for I am become like unto them that goe downe into the [Page 607] pit. Thou hast promised by thine Apostle, Iam: 5.15. that the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and that thou wilt raise him up. Lord I pray unto thee; strengthen thou my faith: I am sick Lord; raise thou mee up, and make good unto mee, that, thy promise by thy holy Apostle. Heale mee, ô Lord, Ier: 17.14.and I shall be healed; save mee and I shall be saved; for thou art my praise. O Lord I call upon thee; Ps: 141.1.hast thee unto mee; consider my voyce now I cry unto thee, and restore mee to health. But howsoever if thou hast otherwise determined of mee, ô my Iesus cleanse thou mee by thy blood, and cure my soule by the merits of thy passion. My sinnes, I must confesse, are the cause of my sicknesse: but doe thou, ô God, Ps. 44.22. blott out as a thick clowde my transgressions, & as a clowde my sinnes: returne unto mee, for thou hast redeemed mee. O give mee patience in this time of adversitie; give mee comfort in the examples of thy mercy; and give mee assurance of thy love in the sanctifying of this sicknesse unto mee. As my body doeth dayly draw neerer to the earth, so make my soule allso dayly draw neerer unto heaven. If it may be thy pleasure to restore mee to health againe; ô let it be thy mercy allso to renew mine obedience. But if thou art resolved by this disease to free mee from the labours of this wearisome world, and to bring mee downe to my grave; for thy Christs sake, o my mercifull and indulgent [Page 608] father, bring thou my soule into thy celestiall paradise. O graunt that my sinnes may consume farre faster then doeth my flesh: and as thou takest away the strength of my body, so be pleased to adde unto the strength of my faith. I am thine, ô Saviour, and cost thee deere, even the very blood that issued from thy crucified body: be thou allso mine, ô Iesus, both now and for ever. Abate the temptations [...] Satan; and arme mee with strength to resist his suggestions. Ravish my soule with the love of thy selfe, that so I may with willingnesse forsake the vanities of this world; with readinesse lay downe this tabernacle of flesh; and with comfort, that my soule may meete thee my God, and my mercifull Redeemer. O God comfort mee: O Christ strengthen mee: O Iesus save mee. Prepare mee for the happie hower of my deliverance from this world: and then bring mee out of this valley of teares to those waters of comfort, where I may sing tryumphantly to the honour of thy name, through Iesus Christ my Lord, and my Redeemer. Amen.
subject 25 THE TWENTIE-FIFTH SUBjECT. Teares of a mother on her death-bed blessing her children.
The Soliloquie Consisting of two parts: viz: • 1 Her preparation to blesse them. , and • 2 The blessing it selfe; ending in a prayer.
part 1 The First part of the Soliloquie, being her preparation to blesse them.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, ô Lord; consider my meditation.
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
CHildren are an heritage of the Lord (saith the Psalmist); Ps: 127.3. and the fruit of the wombe [Page 610] is his reward. True indeede, they come from the Lord; and happy are they if they returne unto him. Gracious hath my God beene to mee in the loane of my issue: but unlesse hee shall be pleased to adde grace unto nature, his blessing will be fearfully converted into a curse. Weakenesse possesseth my body; faintnesse my spirits; 2. Tim. 4.6. and the time of my departure is neere at hand. Goe I must, yea and I am willing and joyfull to meete my God: but oh the thought of my children disturbeth my mind; and the consideration of what may become of them, filleth my dying heart with cares and anxjeties. If they live not in the feare of him who lent them unto mee, my poore issue may become the fewell of hell. What shall I doe? If I should live, I would take such care (by the blessing of my God) as that I might be a meanes to nurture them up in the feare of the most high: but if I am taken away from them, who can tell what their education may prove? Strangers may governe them, and such people (for ought I know) may undertake their tuition, as may neglect the care of religious instructions, and suffer them to runne head-long to the gulfe of perdition. O what a curse would it prove beyond expression, if that part of my selfe which is divided into litle ones, if those which cost mee so many pangs and throwes, should be disobedient to my God, and so be sentenced to the [Page 611] flames of eternall horrour! Alas I can doe noe more then what the Lord will permit mee. While I am here I am bound both by nature and grace to endeavour my utmost for their holy advantage: but when I shall be dissolved, & lye in the cold clods of my mother earth, then can noe more care be expected from mee. Ah my poore infants; litle doe they thinke how they will misse their mother; and wish mee alive againe, as if they envyed my happinesse. Hither and thither they may be tossed and tumbled; and (which is worst of all) they may be brought up in ignorance, or in lewdnesse, and sensualitie. Mee think's I see the frownes of a stepmother, and the knitted browes menacing nothing but crueltie and tyrannie: and then, mee think's, they weepe in one corner, and lament in another; & bemoane their hard happ in the losse of my selfe. Their hungrie bellies may be pinched with famine, their bodies with cold, and their backs with stripes when I shall not either heare, or see, or know it, my head being layed in the low and silent grave. Helpe they may call for, when none will have the pittie to render them helpe. So they may want and cry, and be beaten and cry, and be turned out of doores and cry, when yet neither mercy will heare, nor charitie hearken to the complaints of the motherlesse.
But why doe I spend so many of these [Page 612] swift minuits of my short continuance in such pensive, melancholick, and distrustfull thoughts and feares of what may happen? True it is that these, and others, yea and worse inconveniences may happen to their bodies, and yet they may prove the children of the Most high. That, ô that, is all that I aime at: for though I would not willingly have them suffer in their bodies; yet I would not for a thousand worlds that they should suffer in their soules. Hunger, and thirst, and stripes, and nakednesse may be endured; and in time, either age, or wealth, or friends may free them from these out-ward sufferances: but ignorance and ungodlinesse (without the infinite mercies, and goodnesse of my Redeemer) will be punished with torments that shall never have end. O what shall I doe then for my poore distressed children? Grieve I doe; but I feare that I offend in it: mourne I doe; but I doubt it is more then indeede I ought. God is not weake, or ignorant, or impotent. Hee hath beene a father to mee from the time of my conception; and shall I yet distrust in his providence and protection of my children? This were either to suspect his power, or to deny his mercie. I know it is his desire that they should be heires of salvation; and I know that hee can effect whatsoever hee desireth. To him therfore I will leave them; to his care and tuition I will referre my tender and beloved plants. And that hee [Page 613] may the more willingly become their guardiaen when I shall leave them, while I live I will beseech him with abundance of my teares to admitt them his servants. The wife of Zebideus made a bolder request to my gracious Redeemer: Mat: 20.21. for shee be sought him that those her two sonnes might sit, the one on his right hand, and the other on his left, in his Kingdome. vers. 22Shee poore woman (as Christ replyed) did not know what shee asked. Shee knew not that the Kingdome of Christ was celestiall; but dreamed of an earthly diademe and glory. Her request was therfore the fuller both of boldnesse and ambition, whom noe place would serve for those her children, but what was highest and next to supreamest majestie. Yet mee thinks I cannot much blame her for her love to them whom so dearely shee had bought. There is noe earthly love to be compared to the love of a woman; nor is any womans love to be compared to the love of a mother. Surely David did not know how strong this passion of love is in the weaker vessells, when hee said, The love of Ionathan to him was wonderfull, 2. Sam. 1.26.passing the love of women. Wee mothers are like unto the charet of King Solomon whereof though the pillars were of silver, Cant: 3 10.and the bottome of gold, and the covering of purple; yet the midst thereof was paved with love for the daughters of Ierusalem. Is: 49.15.Can a woman (saith God) forget her sucking child, that shee should not have compassion. [Page 614] on the sonne of her wombe? 'Tis very rare indeede, and yet it is possible: for hee himselfe doeth say that they may forget. Yet seldome is love forgotten in the mother of children, Cant. 3 6. in whom it is commonly as strong as death: vers. 7. for many waters cannot quench it, neither can the floods drowne it. Much therfore I cannot blame the wife of Zebedeus for the fervency of her affection to her beloved Sonnes. All that shee erred in was both in the thing shee requested, and in the person to whom shee tendered her petition. Surely without offence I may likewise besiech my mercifull Saviour, that hee will be pleased to undertake the protection of my young ones. It is a petition more proper for mee then her's was for her; for shee was living, and might have beene a comfort unto them: but I am dying; I am leaving the world; I lye drawingon, and wayting for that blessed hower of my Saviours comeing. All that is left mee now to doe is onely to blesse them before my departure: and this is the best legacie that I can bequeath unto them. I must, I will blesse them by the leave and favour of my God; yet not as from my selfe, but onely from God: not as thinking that my power can purchase their happinesse; but praying to him that his blessing may prosper them. Thus by faith did dying Iacob blesse both the Sonnes of Ioseph, Heb. 11 21.and worshipped leaning upon the top of his staffe. Thus old Isaak [Page 615] said unto Esau his Sonne, Gen. 27 2. vers. 3. Behold now I am old, I know not the day of my death: now therfore take I pray thee thy we opons, thy quiver, and thy bowe, and goe out to the field, and take mee some venison; vers: 4.and make mee savourie meate, such as I love, and bring it to mee that I may eate, that my soule may blesse thee before I dye. Thus Isaak blessed Iacob, and said, c: 28.3. God All-mighty blesse thee, and make thee fruitfull, and multiplie thee, that thou mayest be a multitude of people. c. 49.28. Thus Iacob blessed the twelve tribes when hee spake unto them, and blessed them; every one according to his blessing hee blessed them. c: 31.55. Thus Laban even in the time of his health rose up, early in the morning; and kissed his Sonnes and his daughters, and blessed them; and then departed, and returned to his place. Yea thus even Moses (who was but a leader of the people, and not so neerely linked unto them by the bonds of nature) blessed them, and sayd, Deut. 1 11. The Lord God of your fathers make you a thousand times so many more as yee are, and blessed you as hee hath promised you. Thus the same Moses againe, drawing neere to the time of his leaving the world, c. 33.1. with his blessing did blesse the children of Israel before his death. Thus when the dayes of David drew neere that hee should dye, 1. King 2.1.hee gave a charge and a blessing to his beloved Sonne Solomon. And noe marveile, [Page 616] since it is most true that hee whom God blesseth is blessed, Num: 22.6.and hee whom hee curseth is cursed. The blessing of a parent is nothing but a prayer to the giver of good things, Iam. 1.17. that hee may be pleased to send his blessing on their issue. Mee thinks therfore the words of Samuel which hee sayd unto the people, doe take a deepe impression in my breast: 1. Sam. 12.23. for hee sayd, God forbid that I should sinne against the Lord in ceasing to pray for you. With leave then of my God I will see my children, and I will kisse them as Laban did his and I will likewise blesse them, ‘The Lord direct mee in my prayers for them; and the Lord accept my prayers, & grant my requests which I shall make unto him for them.’
part 2 The Second part, being the benediction or blessing it selfe; ending in a prayer.
MY deerest children, yee whom I love in the tender & yerning bowells of affection; draw neere, and attend to the words of your dying mother. A weake woman yee see I am; but yet sinfull I am, which peradventure yee see not. O weepe not, my prettie ones: doe not pierce and breake my troubled heart with your sad laments. I must dye, my litle ones, and goe to a better place, whither yee I hope [Page 617] shall one day follow mee. Wee came not together into the world; nor shall wee goe together out of it. In vaine doe yee shed those teares of sorrow: for allthough nature teacheth you to bewayle my departure, yet grace will teach you to moderate your mourning. My heart even bleede's to leave you behind mee, fearing lest yee will forget the commandements of your God. I should be sorrie to have just cause to say unto you as Moses did to the Levites; yet I will put you in mind of his words. Deut. 31.27. Behold (sayd hee) while I am yet alive with you this day, yee have beene rebellious against the Lord; vers. 29& how much more after my death? I know that after my death yee will utterly corrupt your selves, and turne aside from the way which I commanded you; and evill will befall you in the latter dayes, because yee will doe evill in the sight of the Lord, Heb. 6.9.to provoke him to anger through the worke of your hands. But I am perswaded better things of you and things that accompanie salvation, though I thus speake. O my deare ones, hearken unto the words which I shall say. They must be my legacie unto you: heare mee with patience; and treasure up in your memories the last speech of your fainting, your dying mother.
How deare yee cost mee before yee had life; and what pangs and torments I suffered for you before yee were heard or seene in the world, yee [Page 618] cannot imagine, nor I expresse. Yet all was forgotten for joy that yee were borne; Ioa: 16.21. and hoping that yee would adde unto the quire of Saints. To this purpose I have laboured and taken care for the nourishment both of your soules & bodies; and for your sustentation (so much as in mee lay) from the breast to this instant. O what sad and perplexed thoughts have I had for you in the day times; and how many howers have I borrowed from my sleepe in the nights, to thinke what would become of you, if yee should not be obedient to the commandements of my God! To the same God they are best knowne. O how often upon my knees have I prayed for your happinesse; and wept, and mourned when yee have done what yee ought not! To him is it best knowne to whom I now am goeing. Sometimes when yee have offended, I was enforced to correct you: but each stripe which yee receaved did cut mee into the heart. In many things yee failed, because yee were young: and in many things I failed too, because I am a weake and a sinfull woman. If at any time yee thought that I did not my duety, take heede that hereafter yee remember it not to my dishonour. Ponder in your minds that curse which wretched Ham the father of Canaan receaved from Noah, when hee saw his nakednesse and tould his brethren. Gen: 9.25. Cursed (said Noah) be Canaan: a servant of servants [Page 619] shall hee be to his brethren. But because Shem and Iaphet tooke a garment, vers: 23& layd it upon their showlders, and went backward, and covered the nakednesse of their father, and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakednesse; therfore hee sayd, Blessed be the Lord God of Shem, vers: 26 vers: 27and Canaan shall be his servant. God shall enlarge Iaphet, and hee shall dwell in the tents of Shem, & Canaan shall be his servant. Consider with your selves that I am your mother. Whatsoever imperfections yee have discovered in mee, doe in some kind reflect even upon your selves: for as your bodies were mine, so my credit and good name you must account to be yours. But I cannot thinke that yee will neede more advice for this, which even nature it selfe should teach you to practise.
My time is but short; my speech beginneth to saile mee. I will not trouble you with much, allthough something more I must say unto you, which I hope yee will remember when I shall sleepe in the dust. Your first and chiefest duety must allways be for the service of your God. If yee will dayly observe the benefitts which hee sendeth you, yee cannot choose but thanke him dayly for his blessings. Let it be your care to ground your actions upon his written law. Vnder-take nothing which is not warranted by his word: and [Page 620] goe forward in nothing by unlawfull meanes, or to a bad intent. Beginne all in him, and continue in him, and end in him; and hee himselfe will be your reward. If yee allways preserve religion in your hearts, yee will allways have quietnesse and content in your minds. First make him your God, and then distrust not his providence; noe nor his love and compassion while yee remaine his children. In whatsoever vocations yee shall leade your lives, be sure that yee be conscionablie industrious and laborious in them; & then leave the event and the blessing to his good pleasure. I would feine have you be his children much more then yee are mine: for yee have nothing from mee but your sinne and corruption; but from him you must expect both grace and glory. If therfore yee strive to blesse and magnifie your God, yee may be sure that your God will both blesse and glorifie you his children. Prov. 10.22. Remember that the blessing of the Lord maketh rich; and hee addeth noe sorrow with it. Take heede therfore to your selves, & let him be in all your thoughts; for even for them yee must account at his greate tribunall. Take heede unto your words, that they give none offence either to God or man. Ps: 62.4 There is a sort of people who blesse with their mouths, but they curse in their inward parts. I would not have you be of the number of them: Ps: 109 17. for as they love cursing, so it shall happen unto them: they delight not in blessing, therfore [Page 621] shall it be farre from them.vers: 18As they cloath themselves with cursing like as with a garment, so it shall come into their bowells like water, and like oyle into their bones. Take heede allso unto your actions, that there be not wickednesse in the intent, nor sinne in the prosequution of them: for howsoëver they shall appeare in the eye of the world, they will be stricktly & justly examined by the righteous judg. First be yee sure that yee blesse your God, and then yee may expect a blessing from him. Deut: 8 10.When yee have eaten and are full, then yee shall blesse the Lord your God. 1. Chr [...] 29.20. Remember the congregation of Israël, how they blessed the Lord God of their fathers, and bowed downe their heads, and worshipped the Lord. Neh: 9.5. Remember how the Levites encouraged the people unto it, and said unto them, Stand up, and blesse the Lord your God for ever and ever; and blessed be thy glorious name, which is exalted above all blessing, and praise. Remember how the Psalmist moved them unto it when hee cryed, Ps. 66.8 O blesse our God yee people, and make the voyce of his praise to be heard: be thankfull unto him, Ps: 100.4.and blesse his name. Remember how David resolved saying, Ps: 16.7 I will blesse the Lord which hath given mee counsell. Remember how hee decreed saying, I will blesse thee while I live, Ps: 63.4I will lift up my hands in thy name. Remember how hee encouraged his soule to this duety, saying, Ps: 103 1. Blesse the Lord ô my soule; and all that is within [Page 622] mee blesse his holy name:vers. 2.Blesse the Lord ô my soule, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; vers. 3.who healeth all thy disease. Remember how hee practised it when hee blesse the Lord before all the congregation, 1. Chr: 29.10.and sayd, Blessed be thou Lord God of Israël our father for ever and ever. vers. 11Thine ô Lord is the greatnesse, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majestie; for all that is in the heaven, and in the earth is thine: thine is the Kingdome ô Lord, and thou art exalted as head above all. vers. 12Both riches and honour come from thee, and thou reignest over all; and in thine hand is power and might; and in thine hand it is to make greate, and to give strength unto all: Now therfore our God wee thanke thee, vers 13and praise thy glorious name. And remember how Ezra blessed the Lord, Neh. 8.6.the greate God; and all the people answered Amen Amen with lifting up their hands; and they bowed their heads, and worshipped the Lord, with their faces to the ground. Thus if yee blesse him, if yee love him, if yee honour him, if yee obey him, hee will so blesse you that yee shall delight in his service, and be filled with his goodnesse. Carie in your minds those words of the Psalmist, Ps. 128.1. Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord; that walkeeh in his wayes: For thou shalt eate the labour of thine hands: vers. 2.happy shalt thou be, Ier: 17.7.and it shall be well with thee. Blessed [Page 623] is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is. Gen. 25 11. Remember how after the death of Abraham, God blessed his Sonne Isaak. So hee may you, and so hee will you, when I, your poore feeble mother, am streched forth and returned to the earth; if yee will heare his [...]yce, and observe his statutes. If so yee will [...]oe, Deut: 14.29. then the Lord your God will blesse you in [...]ll the workes of your hands which yee shall doe. Hee who created man in his owne image both [...]ale and female and blessed them; Gen. 1.27. even the same Lord will blesse you if yee be righteous; vers 28 Ps. 5.12 Ps: 115.13. 2. Tim: 4.6.and [...]ith favour hee will compasse you as with a shield. Hee will blesse them that feare him, both small and greate.
And now my children I have not much more to say to you; for the time of my departure is at hand. If yee doe heartily love your God I know that yee will affectionately love each other: yee will be observant to your guardians, and instructours: yee will be courteous unto all. Be not dismayed at any crosse, or affliction; at any losse, or povertie which may fall upon you: Mat: 6.33. Deut: 28.8. Ex: 23.25. but seeke yee first the Kingdome of God, and his righteousnesse; and then all other things shall be added unto you. Then the Lord shall command the blessing upon you, both in your store-houses, & in all that yee set your hands unto. Hee shall blesse your bread, and your water; Deut [...] 28.3.and take away sicknesse from the midst of you. Blessed shall yee be in the citty, and [Page 624] blessed shall yee be in the field.vers. 4.Blessed sha [...] be the fruits of your bodies and the fruit of your grounds, and the fruits of your cattell, and the increase of your kine, and the flocks of your sheepe:vers. 5.Blessed shall be your basket, vers. 6.and your store. Blessed shall yee be when yee come in, and blessed shall yee be [...] when yee goe forth. c. 7.13. The Lord will love you [...] and will blesse you, and multiplie you; bu [...] will allso blesse the fruit of the wombe unto you, and the fruit of your land, and your corne, and your wine, and your oyle, and the increase of your kine, and the flocks of your sheepe in the places where yee shall live. c. 28.12. Hee will open unto you his good treasure; the heaven to give the raine unto your land in his season, and to blesse all the worke of your hands: Gen. 49.25.and yee shall lend unto many, and yee shall not borrow. Hee shall helpe you, and blesse you with the blessings of heaven above; blessings of the deepe that lyeth under; and blessings of the breasts, & of the wombe. And that hee may thus blesse you, the same Lord direct your hearts, & preserve you in his blessing.
All that I can doe now, is to pray for you; and my weakenesse will hardly permit mee to doe that: yet so long as I can speake I trust I shall pray; and in my petitions remember both my selfe and you. While I am yet alive it is my duety to pray for you; and it is your duety allso to pray for mee. The Lord graunt [Page 625] that wee may all doe what hee requireth at [...] hands. Doe not yee grieve too much that I am so neere my rest: for it is the decree of [...]y God, and the longing expectation of my [...]earied selfe. The Lord give you patience to [...]ndure this affliction: and the Lord give mee [...]atience, and perseverance unto the end. Now I goe the way of all the earth: 1. King 2.2.Keepe yee the Charge of the Lord your God, to walke in his wayes; to keepe his statutes, vers. 3.and his commandements, and his judgments, and his [...]estimonies, as it is written in the Scriptures; that yee may prosper in all that yee doe, and whithersoëver yee turne your hands. The Lord give you the blessing of Iudah, Deut. 33.7.and [...]eare your voyces; and let your hands be sufficient for you; and let him be an helper to you from your enemies. and the Lord give you the blessing of Benjamin: vers. 12The Lord cover you all the day long, and dwell betweene your shoulders. And the Lord give you the blessing of Ioseph: vers. 13Blessed of the Lord be your land for the pretious things of heaven; for the deaw; and for the deepe that coucheth beneath; vers. 14and for the pretious fruits brought forth by the Sunne;vers. 16and for the pretious things put forth by the Moone; and for the pretious things of the earth, and fullnesse thereof; and for the good will of him that dwelt in the hush. The eternall God be your resuge, vers. 27and underneath you the everlasting armes. 2. Sam. 7.26.And now, ô Lord God, let it please thee to blesse the [Page 626] house of thy servant,Vers. 29and with thy blessing let [...] familie of thy servant be blessed for ever.Deut. 26.15. ps. 67.1L [...] downe from thine holy habitation from heare and blesse them. O my God he mercifull u [...] them, and blesse them, and cause thy face to [...] upon them.
And now (with Iacob) I have made an [...] of commanding you; Gen. 49.33. and ready I am to gath [...] up my feete into the bed, and to yeeld up the [...] and to be gathered unto my fathers. On [...] come yee neere my deere ones, that I [...] kisse you, and that my cold and clammy ha [...] may be layed upon your heads, that I may once more blesse you and dye.
Fare-well my prettie ones: farewell the children of my deare affection. 2. Cor. 13.11. I must leave you; and I hope I shall leave my God with you, who will be unto you a father of mercies, and [...] God of all consolation Once more fare-well. 1. Pet. 3 8. 2. Tim. 4.23.Love as brethren; and the God of love and peace be with you. The Lord Iesus Christ be with your spirits. Grace be with you all. Amen.
subject 26 THE TWENTIE-SIXTH SUBjECT. Teares of a dying woman; wherein is set downe her religious exercises. • 1 A Soliloquie; in which is set forth. • 1 A desire of life. , and • 2 The certaintie of death. , • 2 A godly preparation against the minuit of death. , • 3 A prayer of the sick. , • 4 The consolation of the godly in the hower of death. , and • 5 The resignation of the soule into the hands of God.
exercise 1 [...]he Soliloquie: wherein is set forth.
part 1 1. A desire of life.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation:
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
VVHen Ahazia had fallen downe through a lattesse in his upper chamber2. King 1.2.[Page 628] that was in Samaria, and was sick of [...] fall; hee sent messengers to enquire of Baal-zebub the God of Ekron whether hee should recover of that dangerous sicknesse? Every one desireth a fore-knowledg of events, that they might prevent those dangers which otherwise might ensue. Herein, mee thinks, wee endeavour a kind of imitation of our maker, labouring unjustly for his attribute of prae-science. But if wee desire what hee forbiddeth, wee seeke but our destruction in the pursuit of our desires. Of some things hee often permitteth us a fore-knowledg; and somethings againe hee hideth from us; that so both by ou [...] knowledg wee may conjecture at what a blessing wee should have enjoyed, had not Adam transgressed; and allso that by our ignorance wee may learne to depend upon God. Some things wee thinke wee can certainly foresee, consulting with reason about those causes and effects which are meerely naturall: but yet wee often faile in our expectations, either through the defect of reason; or the indisposition and weakenesse of the second causes; or else, yea and most chiefely by the order of the Most High. Yet some are so fond as to magnifie their reason, and thereupon ground a necessitie of events; not well considering that Allthough this reason obligeth men, yet it tyeth not him who is farre above both reason and nature. Some againe in their curiositie [Page 629] prying too neerely into things to come, borrow their assistance from the Prince of the ayer; accounting their knowledg an excellency not tyed to the lawes of religion. Thus did that wicked King Ahazia: but (contrarie to his expectation) hee receaved an answer from a Prophet of the Lord: vers. 6. for Elijah said unto him, Thus saith the Lord, Therfore thou shalt not come downe from that bed on which thou art gone up, but shalt surely dye. O what a dreadfull sentence was this! Especially to him who sought to the Devill, that lyer, for his knowledg; but receaved such an answer from God who could not deceave. Thus am I gone up to my bed too, as was that bruised King: I am tormented with sicknesse, and I languish in a disease. O what shall I doe? Faine, mee thinks I would be certified how long I have to live: faine I would live; Ps: 39.4 and yet I am not certaine of life. I am not readie for death; and yet I am heartily afraid that I shall find this death too readie for mee. But why should I not dye? Am I not disturbed with heates and colds; with weakenesse and feeblenesse? Am I not in a world that giveth noe content? That can neither bound my desires, nor yet afford what I seeke? While I am here I am subject to miseries every moment. When I shall be gone, this faintnesse and weakenesse, these troubles and perturbations shall forsake my weake and infirme body. But what then? [Page 630] When my body shall sleepe in the silent grave, shall it continue there for ever? Or shall the soule have a decay, and yeald to corruption together with my body of clay, and earth? Noe, noe: nothing lesse. The body shall indeede lye downe in the dust; but yet it shall one day be summoned to rise againe: but the soule is eternall; it shall continue for ever. For ever it shall rest in continuall peace; or for ever it shall be tormented in ever-lasting flames. Noe merveile then, ô my sorrowfull soule, that thou art unwilling to leave this tabernacle of flesh, since thou knowest not whither thou shalt flye at thy departure. But why should not I as well hope for felicitie, as dread those torments, when my life shall end? Doe I aske Why? The reason is too plaine. What good can I expect from the hands of him, whom I have never loved; whom I have never obeyed? Those whom hee crowneth with heavenly blisse, are they who sought for it in a miserable life. But I have so lived upon earth as if earth should continue; and I have made choyce of this world for the seate of my happinesse. But now, alas, to my woe I find, that earth can neither afford any true content, nor yet a continuance of that which I accounted good. What now shall I doe? O whither shall I betake my selfe, that I may be partaker of those joyes which are the inheritance of the godly? Num. 23.10. Faine I would dye the death of [Page 631] the righteous; and I wish that my last end might be like unto his. But is this a desire easie to be graunted? Alas, had I lived the life of the righteous, I might then have beene sure I should have dyed the death of them. But that, ô that is it which pricketh mee at the heart. I have lived in sensualitie, and this evill day hath beene out of my remembrance; so that I cannot comfort my selfe with the smallest hope of what I so eagerly covet. But what then? Is there noe remedie at all, but that I must have the bitter portion with the damned in hell? God forbid. Hee who hath forborne mee so long when I went on in my wickednesse, may yet (if hee please) afford mee his mercy. It is not above his power; nor will it eclipse his glory. It was once his free promise to a thiefe even dying upon the crosse, Lu: 23.43. 2. Cor. 1.20.This day shalt thou be with mee in paradise. His promises allso are sure: they are in him yea, and in him Amen: I doubt not therfore but his mercy was as greate as his word was sure. Thus hee saved one, which forbiddeth mee despairing: yet it was but one, which forbiddeth mee presuming. But surely it can be noe presumption to build upon his goodnesse. Hee delighteth not in the death of a sinner. What good can the condemning of mee doe either to him, or his creatures? True it is that his justice maybe magnified by it; but yet it will adde noe glory to his mercy. Againe, there are but a few in heaven to sing forth his [Page 632] praises; but infinite millions in hell and destruction dishonour him in their blasphemies. In heaven, mee think's, there is one too few, untill I shall come thither to adde to the number. In hell, mee think's, there would be one too many, if I should be throwne into that gulfe of perdition. O my God since thou hast vouchsafed mee the knowledg of a heaven, yea and of thee the Lord of heaven and earth; allthough my knowledg be imperfect, & thou art offended; yet for the merits of thy Sonne be pleased to make mee a cittizen of heaven. Rev: 21 27. It is most true that there shall in noe wise enter into that place any thing that defileth, neither whatsoëver worketh abomination, or maketh a lye; but they onely which are written in the Lamb's booke of life. Upon these termes my hopes indeede doe languish, and grow more faint then my feeble body. But who is that which condemneth the wicked? Is it not hee who likewise calleth the wicked, and inviteth them to mercy? Is it not hee who telleth mee by his Prophet, and saith it himselfe, Eze: 18 21. If the wicked will turne from all his sinnes that hee hath committed, and keepe all my statutes, Vers. 22& doe that which is lawfull and right; hee shall surely live, hee shall not dye: All his transgressions that hee hath committed they shall not be mentioned unto him. vers. 23Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should dye? Saith the Lord God: and not that hee should returne [Page 633] from his wayes, and live? O who is more wicked then I? Who more sinfull then I? My life hath beene nothing but a continued rebellion; and my time hath beene wasted in nothing but disobedience. Yet while I have life I have hope. If I can but know mine iniquities, and get a sorrowfull spirit for them, and rent my heart, and amend my life, Ioël: 2.13. and faithfully rely upon the passion of my Redeemer; I may then assure my selfe that hee will correct mee with judgment, Ier: 10:24.and not in his anger. I know that dye I must; but in him I earnestly desire to dye. When I was in health, I thought not of mortalitie: and therfore now I am in sicknesse, I can skarce so much as hope for immortalitie. But I will beseech him to spare mee a litle, that I may repent, Ps: 39.13.before I goe hence, and be noe more seene. I faine would live; not that I might adde to my sinnes, but that I might be sorrie for my sinnes. I would faine continue here a litle longer, that so I might make my peace the surer. Long I have continued in wickednesse: ô my God spare mee a litle time to spend in contrition. If I may enjoy my life but for a litle longer space, I will resolve (by the grace of my God) to dedicate it wholly to the service of him: and that I may in some measure make up my repentance before my departure, I will beseech him (if it may stand with his immutable decree) to lend mee a litle more time, [Page 634] wherein by his grace I may labour my reconciliation with him. My time of death indeede seemeth to draw nigh; and yet I doe not consider, or at least I have not considered, that all this time which I have lived I have beene truely dead. Surely thus I have beene; for so saith King Solomon, Prov. 21.16. The man that wandereth out of the way of understanding, shall remaine in the congregation of the dead. Thus have I beene dead, even in trespasses and sinnes: justly therfore now my life doeth hasten away, Eph: 2.1. and my death approacheth. I am now layed upon my bed of sorrow: Not as the un-chast Amnon was, 2. Sam. 13.5. who lingered after an un-cleane enjoying of his sister Tamar, onely counterfeiting a sicknesse: Nor like the coveteous Ahab, 1. King 21.4. who vexed himselfe because Naboth had denyed to sell him his vine-yard: 2. Sam. 4.7. Nor like Ishbosheth, ready to be slaine by a Rechab and a Baanah; unlesse my sinnes, and my sicknesse the effect of my sinnes, be that Rechab and that Baanah: But languishing I lye, allmost despairing of recoverie by reason of the weakenesse of my neere consumed body and spirits, through the sharpnesse of my disease. Is: 14.11.My pompe is even brought downe to the grave, and the noise of my violls: the worme is spread under mee, and the wormes are ready to cover mee. But let mee say with holy Iob: Iob: 10 20. Are not my dayes few? Cease then, ô my God, and let mee alone, that I may take [Page 635] comfort a litle,vers. 21Before I goe whence I shall not returne, even to the land of darknesse, and the shadow of death: A land of darknesse, vers. 22as darknesse it selfe; and the shadow of death without any order, and where the light is as darknesse. There is noe worke, nor device, Eccl. 9.10. Ps: 6.5.knowledg, nor wisedome in the grave whither I am goeing. In death there is noe remembrance of thee, ô my God; in the grave who shall give thee thank's? Ps: 115.17. Is: 38.18.The dead praise not thee, ô Lord; neither any that goe downeinto silence. The grave cannot praise thee; death cannot celebrate thee: they that goe downe into the pit cannot hope for thy trueth.vers: 19The living onely, the living, hee shall praise thee; the father to the children shall make knowne thy trueth. Thou thy selfe hast professed that thou art not a God of the dead, Matt: 22.32 Ps: 88.10. vers. 11but of the living: wilt thou then shew wonders to the dead? Shall the dead arise and praife thee? Shall thy loving kindnesse be declared in the grave? Or thy faithfullnesse in destruction?vers. 12Shall thy wonders be knowne in the darke? And thy righteousnesse in the land of forgetfullnesse? Consider then, Ps: 13.3 Ps: 69.15. and heare mee, ô Lord my God: lighten mine eyes, that I sleepe not in death. Let not the waterflood over-flow mee; neither let the deepe swallow mee up; and let not the pit shut her mouth upon mee. Heare mee, ô Lord,vers: 16for thy loving kindnesse is good: turne unto mee, according to the [Page 636] multitude of thy tender mercies. 1. Sam: 2.6. Thou art hee who doest both kill, and make alive; who bringest downe to the grave, 2. King 4.20.& bringest up againe. When the Shunamite's child had sate on his mother's knees untill noone, vers. 21it then departed: but shee went up, and layed him on the bed of the man of God, vers: 32and shut the doore upon him, and went out. And when Elisha was come into the house, behold the child was dead, and laid upon his bed: vers. 33hee went in therfore, and shut the doore upon them twaine, and prayed unto thee, my greate and powerfull God: vers. 35And the child neezed seaven times; and the child opened his eyes. Mat: 9.18. When the ruler of the Synagogue worshipped my Saviour, and sayd, My daughter is even now dead; but come and lay thine hand upon her, and shee shall live: vers: 25 Then hee went in, and tooke her by the hand, and the mayd arose. O my God, to thee I submit my selfe: doe with mee as thou pleasest. In thy power it is to spare mee for a while. It will not be harder for thee to restore mee to health, then it was to restore the dead unto life. Faine I would live longer that I may repent more. Lord, if it be thy pleasure, adde yet some more dayes unto my life: restore mee to health; and make mee praise thee for thy mercies. Longer I would not live, unlesse thou shalt be pleased with my life to renew mine obedience: and yet dye I would not, unlesse thou shalt first be pleased to give mee a sense of my sinnes, and a sorrow [Page 637] upon that sense, and a comfortable and contenting joy upon that sorrow. Thou art the potter, and I am the clay: allready thou hast made mee; and it is now in thy power either to breake mee into sheards, or to preserve mee whole. I, who have cryed so much in the extreamitie of mine anguish, doe now beseech thee with my teares to spare mee. Mat. 8.8. O speake the word onely, and thy servant shall be healed. But yet howsoëver I submit to thine owne good pleasure. Lord (if it may be thy will) let the skill of my Phisitians, and the power of my medicines, and whatsoëver shall be administred unto mee, take a blessing from thee: &, if thou shalt restore mee againe, to thee and to thy service will I devote my life. My time shall be thine; my dayes thine; my thoughts, my words, and mine actions thine. So shall thy mercy be magnified, and thy praise I will be for ever singing and will set it forth from day to day. Ps: 96.2
part 2 The Second part of the Soliloquie; wherein is set forth the certaintie of Death.
A Braham is dead, & the Prophets are dead; and my Saviour Christ sayd. Io: 8.52 If a man keepe my sayings, hee shall never tast of death. At this the Iewes were very much stumbled; [Page 638] and mee think's they had some collour for their contention about it. For if Abraham were dead, Rom. 4 11. Iam: 2.23. Gen: 22 18. Lu: 1.70. who was the father of the faithfull; who was the friend of God; hee in whose seede all the nations of the earth were promised a blessing, because hee obeyed the voyce of the Lord: And if the Prophets were allso dead, those holy Prophets which have beene since the world began, and by whom the Lord did reveale his pleasure unto the people: If all these were dead, well might the Iewes wonder when our Saviour said, If a man keepe my saying hee shall never tast of death. Well indeede they might wonder; for ignorance is the cause of all our merveiles. Did wee but know a certaine reason for every event, wee should never wonder at that which happeneth; but wee should magnifie the first & greatest cause, which is God. The Iewes wondered because they were ignorant; and supposed that our Saviour had spoken of a temporall death; whereas hee meant that which is eternall. True it is that the temporall death is an effect and fruit of the first sinne; but eternall death is the punishment of impenitencie and infidelitie: for those who both can, and truely doe repent, neither can, nor shall be lyable to an eternall death. Nay dye they cannot in any kind: for this which wee call a death, shall be to them but a deliverance; and that death which is a perpetuall living death in the land of darknesse, [Page 639] they shall be certainly freed from by the blood of the Sonne of God. Yet this passage, this sweete change in the godly, and allso this gate which openeth to the ungodly the way to eternall woe, the Scripture doeth commonly tearme a death: & this death cannot possibly be avoyded by the children of Adam, Heb. 9.27. for it is appointed unto men once to dye. 'Tis true, 'tis true indeede: I am ready to find it verefied in my selfe: for the harbingers of this death have taken up my body, where it intendeth to lodg. The weakenesse of my limbs, and the faintnesse of my spirits, and the shortnesse of my breath, and the lownesse of my voyce, and the palenesse of my cheekes, and the hollownesse of mine eyes; all these doe but assure mee of the approaches of this death. But is there noe resistance? Is there noe reversing of the decree? Noe repealing of the statute? Alas noe; none at all. This body which hath beene pampered with the delicacie of meates, must now be slaughtered, and make a feast for the wormes. These bones which have layen upon the beds of ease, must become as tables for the loathsome vermine: And this skinne, this prowde skinne, which hath stollen so much time to imploy in the suppling, and colouring, and smoothing, and covering of it, must serve like a cloath spread on these tables, whereon must be presented this collation for the wormes. Short is my life: fleeting are my dayes: and my [Page 640] winged minuits fly with such speede, that I ca [...] hardly count them so fast as they consume. Whe [...] I enjoyed the most sound and beloved health, even then the shortnesse of my life was discovered in my breath: for I was intrusted onely with a litle ayer, which neither was in my power long to keepe, nor long without it could I possiblie continue. I was so false in my promises which I made unto my God, that hee would not trust mee long with the keepng but of a litle of that element. I have allways l [...]ved at the brinke of death; and yet never seriously enough thought of that which now is ready to approach. I never thought indeede of the hower of my death, by a due preparation to entertaine it when it should come. Nay, I fondly imagined that it must of necessitie keepe the roade of diseases, & sicknesse; whereas it might have hastened by wayes un-expected. When I was healthfull I grew so proude, that I imagined certainly it either could not, or durst not assayle my body: and yet when I was afflicted with the smallest paine, then againe I was so cowardly dejected, that I was afraid it hastened by each part and member. When I smarted, I was taken off from my pride; but the cure of that sinne was an immoderate, and a slavish feare. But now I am well assured that neither strength, nor youth, nor beauty, nor physick, nor any thing else can secure our bodies from returning to the earth. True it is, that [Page 641] the dead know not any thing; Eccl: 6.5.neither have they any more a reward; for the memorie of them is forgotten: but the living know that they shall dye. c: 8.8.There is noe man that hath power over the spirit, to reteine the spirit: neither hath hee power in the day of death. Wherfore then have [...] so long lived in ignorance, or forgetfullnesse of mine end? If I had remembred it, I would have fitted and prepared mine accounts against the time it should come. If I had knowne it, I would have laboured to have made the judge my friend. But, ô, I forgot it: for I increased my sinnes, and thought not of the debt: I was ignorant too, and knew not the terribloesse of the Iudg. Now, mee think's, these cold and clammie sweats doe chiefely arise from my chiding conscience; and from the convulsions which there I suffer through the guilt of my sinnes. I never was so carelesse or ignorant of death, as I now am certaine of it; yet afraid to dye. Eccl: 12.7. Iob. 30.23. Now I am sensible that my dust shall returne to the earth as it was. I know that the Lord will bring mee to death, & to the house appointed for all the living. Die, say I? Yes. But must I dye? Yes. But when? That I know not: many dayes or howers I cannot expect to live, who am allready pined into the leanenesse of an Anatomie. But where must I dye? That I know not neither: even in this bed it is most likely, where I now lye languishing in the torments of my disease. But [Page 642] how, or by what meanes must I dye? Nor can I tell that; allthough this sicknesse seemeth to be dispatched hither for this very purpose. But if it be so sure that dye I must, is it likewise as sure to what place I shall goe? O this question is the common troubler of the dying. There are but two havens where soules can arrive: the one is the holy land; the new Ierusalem; the haven of eternall happinesse: the other is a land too, but it is a land of darknesse; a land of smoakes, and stinkes; a place of eternall horrour. To the former the godly are wafted by a convoy of Angells: to the latter the un-godly are hurried and tumbled by cursed fiends, and staring ghosts. Here indeede the wicked spend their dayes in mirth: Iob. 21.13. Ps 49.14. but in a moment they goe downe to the grave. They are layed, like sheepe, in the grave; death shall feede on them; and the upright shall have dominion over them in the morning: and their beauty shall consume in the grave from their dwelling. From thence there is noe redemption. Noe, noe: there is a greate gulfe; Lu: 16.26. 2. Pet. 3.12. and greater there will be, when the earth shall be dissolved, and the elements shall melt with fervent heate. Then onely heaven and hell shall remaine; and from either of these there is noe departure. The wicked would be freed out of hell, but cannot: the godly neither can, nor would be deprived of heaven. Lu: 16.26.Betweene us and you (said Abraham to Dives) there is a greate gulfe fixed, so [Page 643] that they which would passe from hence to you cannot; neither can they passe to us which would come from thence. Doest thou heare that, ô my perplexed soule? Doest thou know that thy sentence will be either Come thou blessed, or Depart thou cursed? Mat. 25 34. vers. 41 Doest thou consider that that sentence will be immediately, so soone as thou shalt take thy flight from my body? O my conscience, why hast thou not checked mee for those sinnes of mine which have deserved the sentence of horrour? O my soule, Ps: 89.48. why hast thou forgotten that thou must leave my body? Dye I must; for what man is hee that liveth, and shall not see death? Shall hee deliver his soule from the hand of the grave? The righteous and the reprobate, even both of them shall assuredly dye: but the latter shall have a second death; the former by death shall enter into life. Ps: 1.4.The wicked shall be as chaffe, which the wind driveth away from the face of the earth; and when they dye, they shall be cast into un-quenchable fire: Mat: 3.12. Mat: 13 30. Io: 12.24. but the righteous shall be like the wheate, which shall be gathered into the barne. But first they must be sowed, before they be reaped. Except a corne of wheate fall into the ground, and dye, it abideth alone: but if it dye, it bringeth forth much fruit. They dye to sinne in their regeneration; and they dye by reason of sinne, at their change: but this all is, that they may spring up in glory. Lord since I needs must dye, let [Page 644] mee dye in thy favour, that I may live for ever in thy celestiall Kingdome. Pardon all the sinnes I have committed; especially my forgetfullnesse of the time of my dissolution. So long as I live, let mee repent mee of my life, and remember my death. Give mee as certaine an assurance of a life in glory, as I know and am certaine of a temporall death. So shall my life here be spent in sorrow for my sinnes; and by death I shall passe to those mansions of eternitie. I know that I shall dye; I begge that I may live. Let my sinne here have a death in mee; Col. 3.3. and let my soule hereafter have a life for ever with Christ in God.
2. A godly preparation against the minuit of death.
MY soule is bowed downe to the dust; Ps: 44.25.my belly cleaveth unto the earth; and that litle all that is left of my declining body, hasteneth apace to the chambers of death. Mee think's I heare my greate Creatour speaking unto mee as hee did once to Hezekiah lying on his sick bed, Is: 38.1 and saying, Set thine house in order; for thou shalt dye, and not live. But what house is that which I must set in order? Is it my body? Alas I have noe power to order that. I have referred it to the Physitians; and they instead of composing it, and [Page 645] regulating it for the recoverie of my health, doe but vexe it with draggs, and torment it with medicines. I feele the hand of death lying hard upon mee, and seizing upon every part and member of my body. But if it be not the house of my body, is it then my house-hold or familie which I must set in order? To this indeede I am instructed even by common civility: for I have a journie to take; a long, and a farre journie; and never more shall I returne to this place of miserie. I must therfore bid my people farewell. I must give them a charge, and tell them what my pleasure, what my desire is they should performe in my absence: and that is onely to be obedient to the lawes of my God. But yet, mee think's, this is not all. There is yet another house which I must set in order: a house of farre more consequence to mee then either of the other. The poore rotten house of my body is ready to fall, and to come to ruine by the stormes of my sicknesse. Yet I strive to mend it, and to support it by the various potions, and severall dose's prescribed mee by the learned: but all I believe will not prevaile: downe it must, and fall into ashes. My familie and house-hold may long continue, allthough I depart, and leave them behind mee. But all this while what have I done for my inner house? What course have I taken for my sinfull soule, which must shortly appeare at [Page 646] the greate tribunall? That, ô that, is the house which I must order, where the King of Kings doeth looke for entertainment. If that be not empty, Mat: 12 44.swept, and garnshed, it can never content my husband, my Lord, my Iesus. First therfore by an humble confession I will empty it of all pollutions and uncleanesses which have long obscured themselves, and lurked in the corners: Then will I sweepe it by repentance, watering it with my teares: and afterwards I will besiech my God to adorne and garnish it with his spirituall graces. Ps. 4.4. I now beginne (I blesse my God) to commune with mine owne heart upon my bed, and to search out mine iniquities. O my God be pleased to give mee a quick apprehension of all mine enormities. Sharpen my memorie, and rowze up and awake my sleeping conscience, that I may muster up all my sinnes in order, and examine the wicked and sinfull passages of my life. I will beginne with mine infancie; and proceede through all the crooked turnings and by-paths of my life, even unto this very minuit of my sorrow. I will search.
- 1. What sinnes I have committed?
- 2. How long they have dwelt with mee?
- 3. What chidings and contentions I had in my conscience for the committing of them?
- 4. How often I repented for them?
- 5. How true that repentance was?
- [Page 647]6. What amendment did follow upon that repentance?
- 7. What thankfullnesse I rendered unto God for that repentance?
- 8. What joy I receaved in my new obedience?
- 9. What holy resolutions I made to continue in the way of the commandements?
And when I have met with a sinne, I will [...]ever leave it 'till I have chased it away: 'till [...] have done my best to wash off the staine with my sorrowfull teares. Gen: 32 25. I will struggle with my God for the help of his grace; and will not leave him untill hee assureth mee that my sinne is blotted out by the blood of the Lamb. For every offence that I can remember, I will arise, and goe to my father, Lu. 15.18. with the teares standing in mine eyes, and with dropps of blood falling from my heart in an earnest & sharpe compunction. In a loathing and detestation of my selfe for offending his Majestie I will humble my selfe, and fall at his feete; and with bashfullnesse and shame I will besiech him, saying, vers 18 vers. 19 Father I have sinned against heaven, and before thee; and am noe more worthy to be called thy child: make mee as one of thy hired servants. I know hee will heare mee, for so hee hath promised and sayd Call upon mee in the day of trouble; Ps: 50.15.I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorifie mee. And when hee heareth, I am sure hee will helpe [Page 648] too: Ps: 46.1 for hee is my refuge, and strength; a very present help in trouble. And leave him I will not; leave crying I will not; leave weeping, and begging I will not, untill I find that he [...] espyeth mee comeing. Lu: 15.20.O now (I blesse him) I find that hee cometh to mee, and armeth mee with this resolution; & I find that I am comeing unto him too, by the small sparkes of gra [...] which warme my resolution. But here I must not stay; on I must; follow him I will, and never leave him untill hee takes compassion of mee, and runne's, and fall's upon my neck, and kisseth mee. vers: 22 I will not leave following him untill hee bringeth forth the best robe, even the robe of his Sonne's righteousnesse; & putteth it upon mee. I must have a ring too put upon my hand; Rom: 4 11. Lu: 15. vers: 23 a sealed ring; even the seale of the righteousnesse of faith in the meritts of my Redeemer. I must allso feede upon the fatted Calfe; upon him who was sacrificed for my transgressions; even the Sonne of his bosome, who is fatt as it were, and full of all divine vertues and abundance of grace, able to satisfie for the sinns of the whole world. I will feede upon him in the participation of the holy sacrament and communion of his owne most blessed body and blood. vers. 24 And when I eate I will be merry; for through faith I shall have an assurance that hereafter I shall be entertained at the supper of the Lamb in the Kingdome of my God. Reu: 19 9. Thus my ômissions, and thus my commissions; thus [Page 649] mine infirmities, and thus my presumptions shall be layed to his charge who is the Lamb of God that taketh away the sinnes of the world. Io: 1.29 Unto him I will acknowledg my sinnes; Ps: 32.5and mine iniquities I will not hide. I will confesse my transgressions unto the Lord; and hee shall forgive the iniquitie of my sinnes, when I say unto him with a sorrowfull Spirit, Ps. 41.4 Lord be mercifull unto mee: heale my soule, for I have sinned against thee.
When I have thus confessed, Iob. 42 6. and abhorred my selfe in dust and asbes; I will then resolve for the time to come (by the grace of my God) and I will promise that I will take heede to my wayes, that I sinne not against him; Ps: 39.1 or not willingly; or not continually; or howsoever not impenitently. Thus will I sweepe, and sweeping I will weepe, and weeping I will pray that for every uncleane spirit which hath dwelt in my soule, I may now have this soule garnished with the divine and excellent graces of the Spirit of my God. By faith I will come unto thee ô Christ, and call thee my Iesus. By hope I will come unto you ô yee blessed quire of Saints and Angells; and with you I will sing those ravishing Halelujahs. By charitie I will reconcile my selfe to my offended brother. I will (as much as in mee lyeth) requite and satisfie my injured neighbour. I will freely freely remit the injuries I have receaved; certainly assuring my selfe that the offences [Page 650] which have beene offered mee (though never so high in mine owne esteeme) are not bad enough to be compared to the least trespasse which I have committed against my God. And (as I am taught by the rules of charitie) I will not onely love my friends, to which I am prompted both by nature and civility, but mine enemies likewise I will love, as I am commanded by God. Yet (lest I missetake in my charitie) my God a bove all I will both love and obey; and that for noe other cause but onely for himselfe. Next, and in order unto him, I will love my neighbour as my selfe. I will love the Lord for his power: I will love God for his wisedome: and I will love the Lord my God for his goodnesse. I will love the Lord, who created mee by his power: I will love God, who instructeth mee by his wisedome: I will love the Lord my God, who hath communicated his goodnesse to a creature so despicable. I will not onely know my God, but I will allso love him. I will not onely feare him, but I will allso love him. I will not onely feare him as hee is an omnipotent Lord, or honour him as hee is God but I will allso love him as hee is Mine. Yea I will love him with all my heart, because hee gave mee a Beeing at my creation: I will love him with all my soule, because hee preserveth mee in this my beeing: I will love him with all my mind, because hee hath created mee a new, and given mee a well-being by [Page 651] regeneration: and I will love him with all my strength, because I know assuredly that hee will glorifie mee in the most excellent Beeing. I will lore him with all my heart, understandingly, without errour: I will love him with all my soule, willingly, without contradiction: and I will love him with all my mind, treasuring him up in my memorie, without forgetfulnesse. I will love him with all my heart, wisely, lest I be seduced by the suggestions of the devill: I will love him with all my soule, sweetely and delightfully, lest I be tempted by allurements of the flesh: and I will love him with all my strength, couragiously, lest I sinke under the pressures and heavy burdens of the world. I will love him with all my heart; for all my cogitations shall reflect upon him: I will love him with all my soule; for all my affections shall be directed to him: and I will love him with all my mind; for all my senses shall be obedient unto him. I will love him with all my heart, devoutly: with all my soule, discreetely: and with all my Mind, perseveringly. And when thus I have endeavoured to love my God' then next in order unto him, and in obedience to his commands, I will love my neighbour as my selfe. I will love him with the same affection as my selfe: For his sake for whom I love my selfe, even for God's: For the same reason as my selfe; even for grace conferred in this life present, and for a certaine hope of [Page 652] eternall glory in the life to come: In the same order as my selfe; which shall be above the world, but inferiour to my God: Vpon the same ground as myselfe; even because of the image of God imprinted in him; and because hee is capable of immortall happinesse: & lastly as long as myselfe; even from the beginning unto the end, untill this fraile flesh shall be forsaken by my pensive, my sad and sorrowfull soule. And that my brethren, my neighbours may be the better assured of my love, which cannot be firme unlesse I accord with them in the same beliefe; Heb: 4.14. and that it may be knowne that (through the grace of my God) I hold fast the profession of my faith wherein I have lived, even the same which was taught by my Saviour and his Apostles according to the trueth and puritie of the same, without leaning either to prophanesse, atheisme, superstition, or any other errour or heresie; and to the intent that they may joyne with mee in thanksgiving to my God for preserving mee in the same, and in prayer unto God that I may continue in the same both to the end, & in the end; I will therfore cheerefully, faithfully, and confidently rehearse the articles of my beliefe, and say.
Thus I believe, Lord helpe my un-beliefe; Mar. 9.24. Eph. 4.14. and graunt that I may not be tossed to and fro, and caried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftinesse. whereby they lie in wayt to deceave: vers. 15but that speaking and believing this trueth in love, I may grow up unto him in all things, which is the head, even Christ my Redeemer. And that I may thus repent mee of my sinnes, and continue in love, and persevere in the faith, and submit to his good pleasure, I will with a bended heart, and a sorrowfull spirit, and weeping eyes pray unto him, and say.
exercise 3 3. The Prayer of the sick.
FAther of mercies, Lord of life; thou God which art a refuge in the time of trouble, Ps; 6.2.have mercy upon mee, Ps: 143.4.for I am weake, and my heart with in mee is desolate. A sinner I am, (I must confesse it) not deserving thy mercy, a fowle, a grievous sinner I am, who have disobeyed thy statutes, and broken all thy commandements; and never have I set my selfe in any good way to seeke my peace and reconciliation with thee. My conscience check's mee, and my sinnes testifie against mee, and mine adversarie the devill strjveth to pluck from mee my considence in thee. O Lord be thou my protectour, and my gracious father. Be reconciled unto mee in Iesus Christ in whom alone thou art well pleased, Io: 16.23. and in whose name whatsoëver I shall aske of thee; I am sure thou wilt give it unto mee. Heavenly Father doe thou assist mee, doe thou comfort mee in these my trp [...] and afflictions: Ps: 60.11.o be thou my helpe in trouble, for vaine is the helpe of man. To thee I cry, to thee I come with a panting heart, with a sorrowfull soule, with an humble spirit. I have sinned, ô I have sinned, and done amisse; and my portion might be justly therfore in the land of darknesse, there to be tormented with the devill and his angells forever. [Page 655] But ô thou who hast promised to heale all those that are broken in heart, Ps: 147 3.and to bind up their wounds; be reconciled unto mee in the wounds of my Redeemer. Speake peace unto my conscience in this agony, Ps: 143.6. in this sorrowfull and deepe sighing for my skarlet sinnes. To thee, Ps; 143.6. and to thee alone I stretch forth my hands: to thee my soule gaspeth as a thirstie land. vers. 7.Heare mee ô Lord, & that soone, for my spirit waxeth faint: hide not thy face from mee, lest I be like unto them that goe downe to destruction. O let not these teares be refused, nor these groanes be sighed and sobbed in vaine: but by the power of his passion out of whose pretious side did issue both water and blood, be thou reconciled unto mee the unworthiest of thy creatures. Though my soule be deepely stained with the pollutions of my transgressions, yet his blood hath power to make it white as snow. On that remission of sinnes by his torments and sufferings doe I wholly rely. My selfe I abhorre, Iob: 42.6.and repent in dust and ashes; my workes I disclaine, for I know their unworthinesse: on thee alone, ô my Iesus, I wholly depend, and by thee alone I hope for remission. Be thou my Iesus, be thou my Saviour. Cure mee by thy wounds; heale mee by thy stripes; ease mee by thy torments; comfort mee by thine agonie; refresh my fainting soule by thy bluodie sweat; revive mee by thy death; and ô Sonne of God and Saviour of the world, present mee to thy [Page 656] father in the robe of thy righteousnesse. Ps: 94.13.Give mee patience in this time of adversitie that I may quietly and contentedly submit to thy good pleasure; rely upon thy mercy; be thankfull for thy chastisement; and in all things so looke up unto thee in this time of my sicknesse, that I may hereafter be raised to glory by the power of thy resurrection. This sicknesse (for ought I know) may be unto death; but in thee, I trust, it shall be a passage unto life. If thou hast passed the sentence of the first death upon mee, decreeing to execute it by this my sicknesse, & to lay mee in the dust by this present visitation; howsoever be pleased, ô my father, for the worthinesse of thy sonne to free met from the horrour of the second death. Let mee be found of thee in peace, 2. Pet: 3 14. Hab: 3.2. Is: 9.13 Iob. 3.25. Mich: 6 13. 1. Pet 4 19. Ps: 119.175. that it may clearely appeare to mee that thou art a God of trueth, and in the midst of judgment remembrest mercy. Vnto thee I turne, for thou hast smitten mee; and the thing that I so greatly feared is fallen upon mee. My body thou makest sick in smiting, by reason of my sinnes; yet in considence and full assurance of thy mercy I commit the keeping of my soule unto thee, as unto a faithfull Creatour. O let that live, and it shall praise thee, for in thee doe I trust: let mee not be confounded, neither let mee despaire of the greatnesse of thy mercies. Ps. 23.4. And though now I walke in the shadow of death; yet I know that it is in thy power to restore mee to health. Lord (if it may stand with [Page 657] thy secret will) be pleased to recover mee, that I may glorifie thy goodnesse in thy worke of power. Blesse all the lawfull meanes that shall be used for that purpose. Give skill to the Physitians, vertue to the medicines, strength to my spirits, and health to my body. Let mee recover my strength, that I may imploy it in thy service; and restore mee to health, that I may be more active in mine obedience to all thy commandements. But if otherwise thou hast determined, and resolvest at this time to make mee as water spilt upon the ground; 2. Sam. 14.14. graunt mee a willing, and ready submission to thy decree. Either abate the torments of mine afflicted body, or increase my patience; that I may not offend thee in my sufferings. Make mee to magnifie thee, whether by life or by death: and graunt mee so safe a passage and conduct in the armes of thy mercy, that I may be conveyed safely into Abraham's bosome. Graunt this ô father for the love and merits of thy Sonne Iesus Christ my onely intercessour and redeemer: in whose name & words I farther call upon thee, saying.
exercise 4 4. The consolation of the godly in the hower of death.
VVHerfore is light given to him that is in miserie (saith holy Iob) and life unto the bitter in soule? Iob. 3.20. vers. 21Which long for death, but it cometh not; and digge for it more then for hid treasures: vers. 22Which rejoyce exceedingly, and are glad when they can find the grave. This was the complaint of a faithfull man, and may now be the lamentation of a sorrowfull woman. I have grieved, and I have mourned for my sinnes: and my good God (I blesse him for it) is gratiously pleased in the bowells of his mercy and compassion to give mee an assurance of happinesse by the merits of my Iesus. But when comest thou, ô my sweete, my longed for, my desired Saviour? Thou knowest my paines, which draw from mee many sinsull thoughts, and un-fitting cryes. Thou takest notice of the cunning suggestions of my greatest adversarie, and his busie allurements to rob mee of my hope. Thou seest how sometimes hee would leade mee into carnall securitie; and sometimes into a beliefe that my verie vicet are vertues, or not seene by Thee, or not to be [Page 659] punished by thee: and sometimes againe hee striveth to hurrie mee into the verie gulfe of despaire. But I know and am assured that through the merits of my Redeemer the gates of hell shall not be able to prevaile against mee; Mat. 16 18. Io: 13.1 Prov. 12.28. for whom thou lovest thou wilt love unto the end. I know that in the way of righteousnesse there is life, and in the path-way thereof there is noe death. Hence away therfore yee fowle fiends, and rebellious tempters. What doe yee here fawning and grinning, hoping to betray a penitent soule? These teares which I shed for the wounds that I made in the body of my Saviour by my piercing sinns, are too pretious a water for you to hath in; too choyce a wine for you to tast of: here are noe hopes for the enemies of mine indulgent Iesus. Though my groanes, alas, cannot be free from the pollution of sinne; yet they shall not advantage you in what yee desire. Ps. 119.115. Away from mee yee wicked ones: I will keepe the commandements of my God. Thinke not to affright mee with my approaching death; Phil. 1.23. for I desire to be dissolved, and to be with Christ. Death I feare thee not: come, come, and trye thy power; but know that thy countenance, which is so terrible to reprobates, is the producer of joy & comfort to my wearied heart. Thou poore, feeble, despised nothing, what power or strength is left thee to boast of? Grave why gapest thou, why standest thou so open as if thou [Page 660] didst hope to tryumph, Hos: 13 14. and conquer mee? My Christ did threaten to be thy plagues, ô death: my Iesus did resolve to be thy destruction, ô grave; and that repentance should be hid from his eyes. Is: 25.8 1 Cor: 15.54. Hee promised to swallow up death in victorie, and to wipe away teares from off all faces. This hee did promise, and this hee hath performed: for by his blessed Apostle I am well assured that death it selfe is swallowed up in victorie. Now I dare challenge you, ô yee impotent and powerlesse adversaries: I dare scorne, vers: 55 and contemne you. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victorie? Thy sting, ô death, was pullud out by him who is the Lord of life. The strength of thy sting was that law which was fullfilled by my mercifull Iesus. Hos: 13 14. Ps: 49.15. Rom: 14.9. Hee, hee hath ransomed mee from the power of the grave, & hath redeemed mee from death. Hee hath redeemed my soule from the power of hell, for hee shall receave mee. To this end hee dyed and rose againe, & re-vived, that hee might be Lord both of the dead and of the living. Ps: 68.20. Ps. 48.14. Rom: 14 7. vers. 8.Hee that is my God is the God of salvation, unto whom belong the issues from death. This God is my God for ever and ever: hee shall be my guide, even unto death. I live not to my selfe; nor doe I dye unto my selfe: for whether I live, I live unto the Lord; & whether I dye, I dye unto the Lord: whether I live therfore, Phil: 1.20.or dye, I am the Lord's. Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it be by [Page 661] life or by death: for to mee to live is Christ,vers. 21 Heb. 12 18. vers 22 vers. 23 vers. 24and to dye is gaine. I come not to the mount that might not be touched; nor to blacknesse, and darknesse and tempest: but I come unto mount Sion, to the generall assemblie, and [...]rch of the first-borne which are written in heaven; and to God the judg of all, and to the spirits of just men made perfect; and to Iesus the Mediatour of the new covenant; and to the blood of sprinkling, that speaketh better things then that of Abel. Rev. 2.10. 1. Cor: 3.21. vers. 22 vers: 23 I know that if I am faithfull unto death, hee will give unto mee a crowne of life. I know that all things are ours so long as wee are his; whether the world, or life, or death, or things present, or things to come; all are ours, and wee are Christ's, & Christ is God's. Why the doe I crie out upon my paines? Is any paine which I can suffer, either so much as I deserve by offending my Iesus or comparable to his torments which hee suffered; for mee? Flesh, thou hast disturbed mee all my life, & with thy sweete, and sugered baites hast allured mee to sinne: but I will drowne thee therfore in my teares. Thou art allready drawen low by my sicknesse; and yet (because this punishment is not enough) thou who wert kept from staines with curious (though simple) art, shalt now be tumbled into the dirt from whence thou camest. For the beds of downe on which thou hast stretched thy selfe, thou shalt lye downe in the hard and stonie [Page 662] earth: for the greate and spatious chamber [...] which thou didst pride thy selfe in, thou shalt be confined to the skantnesse & narrownesse of a coffin: for the curious hangings which adorned thy roomes, & were the costly adventures and labours of forreiners, thou shalt be closely wrapped & bound in thy grave-clothes: and for the gallant societie which thou so cheerefully delightedst in, thou shalt have the companie of nothing but wormes; yea and such wormes too as thou didst loath in thy seeming prosperitie, shall be at once both thine associates, & thy greedie devourers. World thou art an imposter, & hast treacherously deluded mee with hopes of vanitie: but now I find that thy braverie is but follie; thy riches but fumes & smoakes that vanish; thy friendship but hatred; thy pride but madnesse; thy beautie but uglinesse; and all thy temtations are but leaders to destruction. I hate thee therfore, thou vaine world, and leave thee behind mee, as contemning the societie of trifles so un worthy: and though for a time thou mayst foole the un wise, and bewitch them with the false glasses of thy seeming glory; yet know thou that the time shall come when thou shalt consume in thy flames, and shalt burne in a heape at the day of revenge. And as for you, ô yee black and uglie slaves of perdition, yee hellish-criew of infernall fiends; goe seeke some other to delude with your suggestions: in mee yee have neither [Page 663] share, nor hope; for neither should your torments be lessened if yee could seduce mee; nor shall, nor can your madnesse prevaile against thy redeemed soule, to increase the number of your schreeches and howlings.
And now, ô my Iesus, come, come away; for I am thine, and thou art mine. Why stayest thou so long? Why delayest thou the time? The longer I live, I doe but the more offend thee; and the more I offend thee, the more doe my sorrowes burden mee for these mine offences. O would it not be more for thy glory to free mee from corruption, that I might sing praises to thy name without any feare of displeasing thee? How long, Lord, how long wilt thou keepe mee from thy tryumphant quire? Ps. 42.2My soule is a thirst for thee; my heart panteth after thee: ô when shall I come and appeare in thy presence, ô my God? O how truely and eagerly doe I long for death, that I may live with thee who art the truth and the life! Io: 14.6 I know that one day dye I must, but my death shall be nothing but a passage unto life: for though in Adam all dye; yet in thee, ô Christ, 1. Cor. 15.22.shall all be made a live. I cry, Lord, I cry: to thee I cry, because thee I have offended: to thee onely I cry, because thou onely doest heare; and wilt helpe: to thee onely I cry, because thou onely hast redeemed mee: to thee, ô to thee I cry to hasten, to come with speede: O God make speede to save mee: O Lord make hast to [Page 664] helpe mee. Dan. 9.19. Rom: 7 24. Ps: 22.17.O Lord heare: ô Lord forgive ô Lord deliver mee from the body of this death. These pale cheekes, and these hollow eyes, and these staring bones, and this sbrivell'd skinne are now, mee think's adorned with beautie, because they bring mee the glad tidings of the approaches of my Redeemer. This bed is hard to what I shall find in the grave: these sheetes are course and un-easie to that which I shall be wound in. Come, ô Christ: ô stay noe longer. I feare thou art angrie with mee, or else ere now I should have seene thy face: but if thou art angry, Ps: 30.5 I am well assured that thy wrath endureth but the twinkling of an eye, and in thy presence is life. My spirit cryes come; and my wearied soule cryes come; and my weake limbs cry come: Come therfore, ô my Redeemer; Come Lord Iesus, Come quickly.
exercise 5 5. The resignation of the Soule into the hands of God.
THe Prophet Ieremiah admonished the house of Israel, saying, Give glory to the Lord your God, before hee cause darknesse; and before your feete stumble upon the darke mountaines; and while yee looke for light, and hee turne it into the shadow of death, and make it grosse darknesse. That glory I have given, and now. I doe render to the Lord my [Page 665] God, so farre as hee in his goodnesse is pleased to enable mee. And now that time is come, that happy moment. O Well-come blessed hower so long expected, so long desired. How rebellious hath beene my flesh that it held put so long, and now hides it selfe under my dryed skinne, and shrink's it selfe up as unwilling to yeeld! Away proud dust; thou canst have noe hope of a freedome from putrefaction, allthough the time shall come when the Lord will glorifie thee. That time, I know will come indeede, yea I know it assuredly; Ps: 56.9 Iob. 19.25. vers: 26for the Lord is on my side. I know that my Redeemer liveth, and that hee shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: and though after my skinne wormes destroy this body, vers: 27yet in my flesh I shall see God; whom I shall see for my selfe, and mine eyes shall behold, and not other, though my reines be consumed within mee. I have (though weakely, and imperfectly) endeavoured to glorifie my God before this hower approached, both in the confesion to him of my grievous sinnes (ah those uglie sinnes) which I still grieve for & am sorry for them; and yet not without a certaine confidence, and assurance of his mercy. Lord I thanke thee for this happy hower: Now I find that though the wicked is driven away in his wickednesse, Pro: 14 32. yet I am filled with hope in my death. Wicked, alas, I was; and (woe is mee) wicked I am, if considered in my felfe; but in thee, ô Iesus, [Page 666] I am holy; in thy righteousnesse I am righteous; & therfore I am strongly assured that shortly, even presently, Ps. 36.9in thy light, in thy Kingdome whereof thou thy selfe art the light, Reu: 21 23. Eccl. 7.1.I shall see light Now doe I with heavenly comfort assure my selfe that the day of death is better, farre better then the day of my birth: for I was borne to sinne, Ps. 23.4 but I dye to reigne. Now though I walke through the valley of the shadow of death, I can feare noe evill, for thou art with mee; thy rod and thy staffe thy comfort mee. VVhat though I am counted with them that goe downe to the pit; Ps. 88.4andam as a man that hath noe strength? Iob. 17 1. VVhat though my breath be corrupt; though my spirit be spent; though my dayes be extinct; and though the graves be ready for mee? vers. 13 VVhat though the grave be mine house, and presently I shall make my bed in the darknesse? VVhat though corruption, vers. 16and the worme shall goe downe to the barrs of the pit; and our rest shall be together in the dust? VVhat though death be come up into my windowes, into mine eyes; Ier. 9.21. Ps: 107 18.and be entered into the tabernacle of my body? VVhat though my soule abhorreth all manner of meate, and I draw necre unto the gates of death? VVhat though my heart be sore pained within mee, Ps. 55.4. Ps: 44.17.and the terrours of death be fallen upon mee? Yet though all this be come upon mee, I will not forget thee, o my God; neither will I deale [Page 667] falsly in thy covenant.vers. 18My heart shall not be turned back; neither shall my stepps decline from thy way: noe; vers: 19though thou hast sore broken mee in the place of dragons, and doest cover mee with the shadow of death.
I am goeing now the way of all the earth, Ios: 23.14.and doe know in my heart, and in my soule, that not one thing shall faile mee which the Lord my God hath promised to his elect. Now am I joyfully goeing to the gates of the grave: Is: 38.10.I am deprived of the residue of my yeares: vers. 11 vers: 12I shall behold man noe more with the inhabitants of the earth. Mine age is departed, and is removed from mee, even as a shep-heard's tent. But yet, Lord, Ps: 39.7.what is my hope? Truely my hope is even in thee. I shall speedily depart, & then shall I joyfully be freed from sinne. Mat: 26 38.The soule of my Redeemer was exceeding sorrowfull, even unto death; and all for my sake as well as for others; that I might now be joyfull, and rejoyce unto life. Mee think's that voyce from heaven which was heard by the Apostle, is now sounding in mine eares, and saying, Reu. 14 13.Blessed are the dead which dye in the Lord from hence forth: yea, faith the spirit, that they may rest from their labours; and their workes doe follow them. Mee think's I find the words of the Psalmist full of truth and comfort, Ps: 116.15. that Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints. O now, mee think's, (like that blessed martyr Saint [Page 668] Stephen) looking up to the heavens I see th [...] open;Act: 7.55. Ps: 31.5and the glory of God; and my Iesus sta [...] ding on the right hand of his father. I come Lord, I come. Into thy hands I commend my spirit; for thou hast redeemed mee, ô Lord, th [...] God of truth. Take mee into thine armes, ô God: Act. 7.59. Convey mee to thy Kingdome, ô Christ: Lord Iesus receave my spirit. Amen.
subject 27 The TWENTIE-SEAVENTH SUBJECT. Teares in the distressed time of civill warrs.
The Soliloquie, containing a patheticall and grievous lamentation for the present distractions both in the Church & Commonwealth, by reason of these cruell & most bloody warrs.
THE EjACULATION.
vers. 1. Give eare to my words, ô Lord; consider my meditation.
vers. 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray.
SHall a trumpet be blowne in the city, and the people not be afraid? Amos. 3.6. Saith the Lord by the mouth of his holy Prophet. A trumpet? [Page 670] Why? Lev. 25 9. Is that so dreadfull? So terrible [...] I find that a trumpet of Iubilee was appointed [...] be sounded in the day of atonement throughout [...] the land of promise, when the Israelit [...] should come into it: and certainly whe [...] that trumpet sounded the people rejoyced, [...] were not afraid. Yea, but the Lord called not to rejoycing and Iubilees, when he threatned Israel by the mouth of that Prophe who was among the herdmen of Tekoa. Amos. 1.1. The first sound of a trumpet that ever was heard, as the Scriptures mention, was a cause of trembling: Ex. 19.14.15. for the third day after Mos [...] went downe from the Mount unto the people; vers. 16 in the morning there were thunders, an [...] lightnings, and a thick clowde upon the mount, and the voice of the trumpet exceeding lowd, so that all the people that were in the campe trembled Yea they so trembled, and were so afraid when they saw the thunderings, c. 20.18.and the light [...] nings, and the noise of the trumpet, and the mountaine smoaking, that they removed, and stood a farre off,vers: 19and said unto Moses, Speake thou with us and wee will heare: but let not God speake with us, lest wee die. This was the first sound of a trumpet that ever was heard; and I find that this was a cause of trembling. Againe, I reade that the trumpet was ordained for the sounding an all arme: Num. 10.5. and that, o that is it which now sound's in our eares: Nothing but a point of warre: nothing but newes of [Page 671] fir [...] and fword is heard among us. The [...]umpets, the trumpets, oh, they sound, they [...]nd: a shrill and horrid dinne a fearfull [...]se they make in our eares: and our new [...]ced cities, and our new-fortified townes [...]e encompassed as once Iericho was, when [...]e trumpets of rams-hornes were blowne by [...]e priests, and the people showted. Ios. 6:8. vers. 16 Surely that [...]ay is come upon us which the Lord threat [...]ed Ierusalem with, by the mouth of his Pro [...]het: for the mighty man cryeth bitterly: Zeph. 1 14. vers. 15the [...]y of wrath is come upon us; the day of trouble [...]d distresse; the day of wastnesse and desola [...]on; the day of darknesse and gloominesse; the [...]ay of cloudes and thick darknesse: vers. 16 the day of the [...]rumpet, and all-arme against the fenced cities, [...]nd against the high towers. vers. 17 Distresse is come [...]pon us, that we walke like blind men, because we have sinned against the Lord; and our blood is [...]owred out as dust, and our flesh is as the dung. Oh, that is fallen upon us which was threat [...]ed to Egypt. Our land is watered with blood, Eze: 32 6. wherein wee doe swimme, even to the moun [...]aines; and the rivers are full of us. Good God, what a menace was this which went out against Egypt! What, water the land with blood? Yes, with blood. And good reason: for that countrie which had beene so fertile through the overflowings of Nilus, was now growne more glutted with skarlet sinns, then their river was pregnant & reemed [Page 672] with misse sh [...]ppen monsters. Thus Go [...] can doe: and thus God will doe, when hi [...] patience is over-pressed with the infinite in crease of insufferable crimes. And thus o thus he now doe's to my poore, native [...] bleeding countrie. This, this land, which wa [...] like the land of Egypt, Gen. 13 10. Lam. 1.1. Ier. 5.9 vers. 10 even as the garden of th [...] Lord: which was great among nations, and Princesse among Provinces, is now. Made an astonishment, and an hissing, and a desolation, The voyce of mirth, and the voyce of gladnesse, and the voyce of the Bride-groome, and the voyce of the Bride, and the sound of the mill-stones, and the light of the candle, are taken from us; and this whole land by degrees become's a desolation, vers. 11 Lam. 1.4. and an astonishment. Her priests sigh; her virgins are afflicted; and she is in bitternesse. Lord, what a strange and sad alteration is here in every corner of the Kingdome; in all estates and conditions of the people! Our cities are become prisoners even to their owne fortifications; and seeme to be coffind in the walls of their strength. The grave and ancient inhabitants of them, who had out-lived their sweat and labour, are now enforced to become young apprentices to their allmost forgotten crafts; and finding their stiffe & stickie fingers unapt to purchase bread for their bellies, they moisten their shrivell'd cheekes with those few teares their age can allow them. The cornets and the [Page 673] sack-buts are turned into trumpets and fifes: our feasts are turned into mourning, Amos. 8.10.and all our songs into lamentation; and sack-cloth is brought upon all loines, and baldnesse upon every head; and our mourning is as for an onely sonne; and the end of our mirth is this our bitter day. Our dances are changed into marches; our banquets into famine; our gownes and liveries into garments made of the skinns of Elkes and Buffeloes: and the suites of gold and Tissue into glittering armour. The hatts composed of the sofe wooll of the Beaver are turned into helmets & beavers of hard and heavy mettall: the lofty & proud structures, into poore and narrow hutts and tents: and the pride of the cup-board, and the glory of the fingers into salarie for souldiers, and the price of blood. Ioel. 3.9.Warre is proclaimed in our gates; it is prepared: our mighty men are awaked: all the men of warre draw neere, and come up. vers. 10 Our plough-shares are beaten into swords, and our pruning hookes into speares. Our citizens hands forget the cunning of their trades and occupations, Ps. 144.1. by teaching their hands to warre, and their fingers to fight. Our penns are turned into pikes; our maces into swords; our walking staves into halbeards, and partizans, and leading staves; and our voyces of harmonie and musick into showtes and horrid cries of formidable armies. The bells which merrily rang the peales and the changes, either roare out our destructions in engines of warre [Page 674] by a strange metamorphosis; or if they continue in their ould condition they skarce know any other tone then knells for the slaine, the death of whom causeth the wringing of hands among orphanes & widdowes. Our Beth-els are turned into Beth-avens; so that now wee skarce dare to seeke Bethel, Amos. 5.5. or enter into Gilgal, or passe unto Beersheba. Our Daniels, Dan. 6.16. vers. 18 oh our Daniels, are cast into the denns of Lyons; and yet few of us doe passe the night in fasting; nor doe we send away the instruments of musick from before us; nor doth our sleepe goe from us. O that wee would yet once tremble and feare before the God of Daniel, vers. 26who is the living God, and stedfast for ever; and his Kingdome that, which shall not be destroyed; for his dominion shall be even to the end. vers. 27He delivereth, and rescueth: and hee worketh signes and wonders in heaven, & in earth. Sad was the time with Ieremiah the Prophet, Ier: 37.12. when he went out of Ierusalem to goe into the land of Benjamin, to separate himselfe thence in the midst of the people. For, vers. 13when he was in the gate of Benjamin, a captaine of the ward was there whose name was Irijah; vers. 14and he tooke Ieremiah the Prophet, saying, Thou fallest away to the Caldeans: but Ieremiah said, It is false; I fall not away to the Caldeans; but he hearkened not unto him. So Irijah tooke Ieremiah, and brought him to the Princes:vers. 15wherfore the [Page 675] Princes were wroth with Ieremiah, and smote him, and put him in prison in the house of Ionathan the Scribe; for they had made that a prison. Bad, Eze: 2.6. o full bad are our times too: for our Ezekiels live among briars and thornes; and dwell among scorpions. Heb: 11 36. The Prophets of the Lord have their trialls of cruell mockings; yea of bonds, and imprisonment. They are stoned, they are tempted, vers. 37they are slaine with the sword: they wander about in sheepe-skinns, and goate-skinns, being destitute, afflicted, and tormented;vers. 38of whom the world is not worthy. They wander in deserts, and in mountaines, and in denns, and caves of the earth: This thou hast seene, ô Lord; Ps. 35.22. vers. 23keepe not silence: ô Lord be not thou farr from them. Stirre up thyselfe, and awake to their judgment, and to their cause, o our God, and our Lord. The time is allready come that judgment hath begun at the house of God: 1. Pet. 4.17. and if it first begin at them, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel? Wee see not our signes; there is skarce any Prophet more: and who is there among us that knoweth how long? Ps. 74.9 Wee have unsettled people among us, who are apt to say to the Seers see not; & to the Prophets, Is. 30.10.Prophesie not unto us right things: speake unto us smooth things; Prophesie deceits. Get yee out of the way, turne aside out of the path: vers. 11cause the holy one of Israel to cease from before us. The Prophet Ieremiah complained that in his [Page 676] time a wonderfull and horrible thing was committed in the land: Ier: 5.30. vers. 31the Prophets prophesied lies; and the people loved to have it so: and what (saith hee) shall wee doe in the end thereof? c: 14.13. Againe he cries out. Ah Lord God, behold the Prophets say unto them, Yee shall not see the sword, neither shall yee have famine; but I will give you assured peace in this place. vers. 14The Prophets Prophesie lies in thy name whereas thou sentest them not; neither hast thou commanded them, nor spoken to them: they Prophesie unto the people a false vision, and divination, and a thing of nought, and the deceipt of their heart. And is it not as bad in these times as it was in those? Nay doe not they now professe prophesying which are noe Prophets, Amos. 7.14. neither sonns of Prophets; but heard-men, and gatherers of Sycomore fruits; and yet will not believe but that God saith unto them; vers. 15 Goe, Prophesie unto my people Israel? Surely if such be crept in among us through the windowes, and so stopp our light, Zech: 13.4. the day will come when they shall be ashamed every one of his vision when he hath Prophesied; and shall noe longer weare a rough garment to deceave; and each of them shall say, I am noe Prophet; vers: 5.I am an husband-man; for man taught mee to keepe cattell from my youth. Nay, is not he now the Prophet of this people in many places, Mic. 2.11. who walketh in the spirit of falshood; and lyeth, saying, I will Prophesie [Page 677] unto thee of wine, and of strong drinke? Ah, are not the doores of many of out temples shut up, and diverse of our lamps put out; 2. Chr [...] 29.7. & noe incense burnt, or burnt offerings offered in the holy places unto the God of Israel, as they were wont to be? Doe not some of the lowest of the people pretend to be priests of the high places? 1. King 13.33. Nay doe not many fowle people (cunning fishers in our troubled waters) rob even God himselfe in tithes and offerings? For these, ô for these things, Mal. 3.8. Hab: 2.11.the very stones doe cry out of the walls, and the beames out of the timber doe answer them. Hos: 4.1. O most justly therfore hath the Lord his controversie with the inhabitants of this land: and it is to be feared that noe truth, nor mercy, nor knowledg of God will be left therein. Is it not now among us in many places, vers. 9. come to that ould proverb, Like people liek Priests? 1. Cor: 12.8. Have wee not those who thinke that to one of them is given, even by the spirit of God, the word of wisdome; vers. 10 1. Io: 4.1. Eph. 2.2. 1. Io: 4.6. 1. Sam. 16.14. 1. King. 22.22. Is: 19.14.to another Prophesie; to another discerning of spirits; and to another interpretation of tongues? Whereas if they would trie the spirits peradventure they should find that these are not of God; but that many false Prophets are gone out into the world. Alasse such a spirit is the same, and noe other then the same spirit that ow worketh in the children of disobedience. It is the spirit of errour; an evill spirit; a lying spirit; a perverse spirit; a [Page 678] spirit of a deepe sleepe;c. 29.10. Zech: 13.2. 1. Cor: 2.12. Reu. 18 2. Eze: 13 3. Is. 11.2. Col: 2.23. Iam. 3.15. vers: 17 Rom: 2 20. Luc: 11 52. 1. Cor. 8.1.an uncleane spirit; th [...] spirit of the world; a fowle spirit; then owne spirit; rather then the spirit of wisdome and understanding; of counsell, and might; of knowledg, and of the feare of the Lord? They have indeede a shew of wisdome: but I feare this wisdome discendeth not from above; but is earthly, sensuall, and devillish. The wisdome that is from, above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, & easie to be intr [...] ted, full of mercy & good fruits, without partiality & withouthypocrisie. They pretend to knowledg; but is it not the forme onely if knowledg, and of the truth in the law? Ha [...]t they not all this while beene kept out, and entred not for want of the true key of knowledg? Or if they doe know what they ought, doth not this knowledg pusse them up? Hee knoweth most, and best, who knoweth him selfe most, and that hee is the worst. They say, Iam. 2.14. vers 20they have faith: but what doth it profit though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? Can faith save him? Faith without works is dead. I pray God that all of us may fight the good fight of faith, 1. Tim. 6.12. 1. Thes. 5.8. Gal. 5.6 Lam. 1.2.putting on the breast-plate of faith and love; even of that faith which worketh by love. O mercifull God, how doth thy poore spouse weepe sore in the night, and her teares hang on her cheekes; and that because among all her lovers she hath few, or none, to comfort [Page 679] her! Her friends have dealt trecherously with her, and are become her enemies.
Mee think's our two indulgent Nurses, who should have beene preserved chast; whose breasts have beene full of sweere and wholsome milke; 1. Pet. 2.2. and who were wont to feede us with the sincere milke of the word; the Presse, and the Pulpit, are clad like mourners: and that because they are forced, and ravished by so many profane penns, and tongues. O how are the black penns of our railing Scripturients (borrowed from the wings of the simplest fowle, which hisses at them for their madnesse) surfeited with their excessive drinking of gall and vineger: and how from their nibbs, their noses doe dropp the very loathsome purgations of their Masters contaminated braines! They gape, as if they would devoure him whom they point at. They scratch him: they blott, and blurre his good repute: yea they have teeth too; and with those teeth they bite so malliciously, so venemously, that often times the wounds doe fester, and grow incurable. Wee are now certainly in the Autumne of the world; and assured thereof by the dayly falling into our hands of the lyeblowne fruit and leaves of these saplesse trunks, these un-pruined trees. The small coyne which formerly wee caried about us for the reliefe of the poore; is now frequently bestowed upon the falshood of the times. Vntruthes are pressed [Page 680] into the world: the mother suffers but a minuits paine, and so soone as she is delivered, the daughter runn's abroad before shee is so much as wrapped in swadling clothes. That heavie curse is fallen upon us, 2. Thes. 2.11. that God hath sent us strong delusions, that wee allso believe lyes. Not is the Pulpit freer then the Presse. O my soule longeth, Ps: 84.2 vers. 3.yea even fainteth too for the courts of the Lord: and that because the Sparrow hath found an house, and the Swallow a nest for berselfe where she may lay her young; even thine Altars, ô Lord of hosts, my King and my God: vers. 4. and yet I cannot be so blessed as to dwell in thine house. Alasse, alasse, in too many places of this land the shcreech owle lodgeth there:Is. 34.14. vers. 11the cormorant, & the Bitterne possesse it; the Owle allso, and the Raven dwell in it: wild beasts of the desert lodg there; c. 13.21.it is full of dolefull creatures; and the rough Satyrs dance there. Nay more: there are those now among us, who turne the Temples into stables, and Orateries into oasteries: and thinke to find Christ, as the shepheards did, Lu: 2.16. Dan: 3.29.lying in a manger. King Nebuchad nezzar made a decree that every people, nation, and language which spake any thing amisse against the God of Shadrach, Meshech, and Abednigo, should be cut in pieces, and their houses should be made (Iakes): So the Geneva translation. but now wee have all pretending to be worshippers of that God; yea even those who esteeme our Churches noe better then what those Blasphemers houses [Page 681] were to be turned into: yea and in good earnest, such, Ioel. 2.20. such places of stench and filthinesse they account fitt and good enough to offer their incense in to the God of heaven. But doe they not thinke that their stinke doth come up, and their ill savour come up unto the great God; and that he will say unto them, Is: 1.13 your incense is an abomination unto mee? Idolatrie hath in ancient times foolishly set forth our Churches with Pageantrie, and gawdie trickings of superstition: & in our later times wee dreaded the courtings, and the slow-paced but cunning and subtle insinuations of the prowd whore of Babylon: and now mee think's wee have a strang kind of alteration; Mat 12 25. for here is not onely a Kingdome (ô woe is the time) divided against it felfe, but allso Satan in some places seeming to cast out Satan; profanenesse to cast out superstition. 1. Chr. 2.7. Nay every troubler of our Israel, every Schismatick, every Sectarist, every Vpstart as well as ould Heretick comes in among us as did the wise men, Ex: 7.11.& the sorcerers, the magicians of Egypt before Pharaoh, and casteth downe every man his rod, and they become serpents. Gen. 3.15. But o when will the seede of the woman bruise, nay breake these serpents heads? When will that Angel which hath the key of the bottomlesse pit, come downe from heaven with a great chaine in his hand, Reu: 20 1. vers. 2. vers. 3.and lay hold on the Dragon that old serpent, and all the young ones made of the magicians rod's, and bind them, and cast them into the [Page 682] bottomlesse pit, and shut them up, and set a se [...] upon them, that they deceave the nations n [...] more? Heb: 9.10. Is not this time hoped to be the times Reformation? Why then doe Iacob and Esa [...] still strugle in the wombe of our Rebeckah? Gen. 25:22. Ex. 14.24. vers: 25 Iud. 5.28. Isa. 5.28. What troubleth our host; and taketh off our charet wheeles, that they drive so heavily? Why tarry the wheeles of the charet? Why are not the wheeles like the whirlewind? Shall the children come to the birth, and shall there not be strength to bring forth? Shall the seamlesse coate of Christ be allways thus torne in pieces? Shall the souldiers still teare it? Shall they still cast lots what every man should take? c: 37.5. Ioa. 19.23. Mar. 15.24. Ioa: 19.34. Ps. 74.10. Yea and not content with tearing his coate, shall the souldier with a speare pierce his very side alls [...] O God, how long shall the adversarie reproach! Shall the enemies blaspheme thy name for ever!
Time was when Micah had an house of god [...], and made an E [...]hod, and Teraphim, and consecrated one of his Sons, who became his Priest: but in those dayes (saith the text) there was noe King in Israel; Iud: 17 5. vers: 6.but every man did that which was right in his owne eyes. Wee cannot truely say wee have noe King; but too truely wee may see that allmost every man striveth to doe that which is right in his owne eyes. Alas! Num: 24.23. Is. 1.25 vers. 27Who shall live when God doth this? When will the Lord turne his hand upon us, and purely purge away our drosse and take away all our tinne? When shall Zion be redeemed [Page 683] with judgment, and her converts with righteousnesse? 2. Sam: 15.31. Isa: 1.5. vers. 6. When shall the counsell of Achitophel be turned into foolishnesse? The whole head is sick, and the whole heart faint: From the sole of the foote even to the head there is noe soundnesse; but wounds, and bruises and putrifying sores, that are neither closed, nor bound up, nor mollified with ointment. Eze: 11 2. 2. King 11.17. O that the men that devise mischiefe, and give wicked counsell might once come to an end! Lord, how wee long for a Iehojada to make a covenant betweene the Lord and the King, and the people, that wee should be the Lords people; betweene the King allso, and the people: vers. 18 and that all the people of our land would goe into the house of Baal, and breake it downe; breake his altars and his images in pieces thorowly: and that he would take the rulers over hundreds, vers. 19 vers. 20 and the captaines, and the guard, and the people of the land; and all of them bring the King to his house, and set him upon the throne of the Kings; that all the people of the land may rejoyce, and the City may be in quiet! The Lord once did how the hearts of all the men of Iudah even as the heart of one man, 2. Sam. 19.14. vers. 15 so that they sent this word to the King, Returne thou, and all thy servants. So the King returned and came to Iordan: and Iudah came to Gilgal to meete the King, to conduct the King. O that our dayes of mourning were turned into a day of rejoycing, and showting, Ezra. 4.10. that wee might offer [Page 684] sacrifices of sweete savours for it unto the God heaven! But such a day of rejoycing w [...] cannot expect nor hope for, untill our Go [...] shall be pleased to make us more sensibl [...] first of our sinns, and then of our present an emergent calamities. Alas, Alas, wee preten [...] to be sorrie for our sinns, and wee pray fo [...] peace; and yet full litle doe wee remembe [...] that there is noe peace saith the Lord, Is. 48.22.unto the wicked. It would prove indeed a most inralluable blessing, 2. King 20.19. if wee could see peace and truth in our dayes: and wee are assured the to the counsellers of peace there is joy. Prov. 12.20. But what hopes can wee have of peace, while our [...] quities separate betweene us and our God;If. 59.2and our sinns hide his face frō us, that hee will n [...] heare.vers. 3.Our hands are defiled with blood, & our fingers with iniquity. Our lips speake lies our tongues mutter perversnesse: vers: 4.who calle [...] for justice? And who pleadeth for truth Wee trust in vanity, and speake lies: wee conceave mischiefe, and bring forth iniquity. Wee hatch cockatrice eggs;vers: 5.and weave the spiders webbs: hee that eateth of the eggs dyeth; and that which is crushed, breaketh forth into a viper.vers. 6. vers. 7.Our workes are workes of iniquity; and the act of violence is in our hands. Our feete runne to evill: and wee make hast to shed innocent blood: our thoughts are thoughts of iniquity; wasting and desolation are in out paths. vers. 8.The way of peace wee know not; and [Page 685] there is noe judgment in our goeings: wee have made us crooked paths; whosoever goeth therein shall not know peace. Therfore is judgment farre from us; neither doth justice over-take us. True it is, wee have our frequent fastings, and our dayes of humiliation: but doe wee not fast for strife and debate, vers. 9. c: 58.4.and to smite with the fist of wickednesse? What doth the Lord require of us, but to doe justly, and love mercy, and to walke humbly with our God? But wee, ah sinfull wee, insteed of doeing justly, doe many times labour by a new way to execute Iustice; to kill it, to destroy it with its owne sword: noe merveile therfore that when judgment is looked for, Mich. 6.8.behould oppression; and when righteousnesse, behold a cry. The God of mercy requireth us to love mercy; but wee, on the contrarie, are ready to lay hold on our bowes and speares: Isa: 5.7. wee are cruell, and have noe mercy: our voices roare like the sea; and wee ride upon borses set in aray as men for warre; and that against our owne acquaintance, and neighbours, and friends, and allyes: Ier. 6.23. Prov. 12.10. Ps: 35:13. Is: 58.5 yea and our very tender mercies are cruell. Hee requireth us to walke humbly with him; and wee pretend to put on sackcloth, and to humble our soules with fasting: but alasse, is this such a fast as God hath chosen? A day for a man to aff [...]ict his soule? Is it for a man to bow downe his head as a bull-rush; and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him? [Page 686] Will hee call this a fast, vers: 6.and an acceptable da [...] unto him? Noe, noe: Is not this the fast that hee hath chosen? To loose the bands of wickednesse; to undoe the heavy burdens; and to let the oppressed goe free; and that wee breake every yoke.vers: 7.Is it not to deale our bread to the hungry; and that wee bring the poore that is cast out, to our houses? When wee see the naked, that wee cover him; and that wee hide not our selves from our owne flesh? But doe wee thus fast? Doe wee thus humble our selves? I feare wee doe not; & therfore for peace wee have greate bitternesse:c: 38.17. Lam. 3.15. Reu: 8.10.wee are filled with bitternesse, and are made drunken with wormewood. The great starre which fell from heaven upon the third part of rivers, and upon the fountaines of waters when the third Angel sounded, is found among us: vers. 11 for our waters are become wormwood; our teares are teares of bitternesse. Prov: 11.14. Solomon telleth mee that where noe counsell is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellers there is safety. That multitude of counsellers wee have: gave, wise, and honourable counsellers wee have: and yet for all that mee think's wee doe not find that safety which Solomon speaketh of: 2. Cor. 7.5. 1. Chr. 26.14. Mar: 15.43. for wee have noe rest, but wee are troubled on every side: without are fightings, and within are feares. Wee have Zechariahs, wise counsellers; & wee have Iosephs: honourable counsellers, [Page 687] which allso waite for the Kingdome of God; 1. Chr. 27.32. Prov: 12.20. cap: 15.22. and wee have Ionathans to be counsellers; wise men, and scribes: and yet there is but litle joy to the counsellers of peace; nor are purposes yet so established by this multitude of counsellers, as hath beene long hoped they would have beene. What is the cause? What is the reason hereof? Ah Lord God, wee are ready to take counsell, but not of thee: Ier: 30.1. Luc: 7.30. Ps: 107 11. Is: 19.17. to reject thy counsell against our selves, to contemne thy counsell; and therfore wee are every one afraid in himselfe, because of the counsell of thee the Lord of hosts, which thou hast determined against us. The noise of the drumms and the trumpets still sounds in our eares; and noe Dove comes yet with the olive branch of peace into our poore distressed land. O my God, my God, how is thy sword filled with blood, c: 34.6. and made fat with fatnesse, and with the bloud of the lamb's & goates; with the fat of the kidnyes of ramms; because thou hast a sacrifice in Borrah, and a great slaughter in Idumea! vers. 7. Our land is soaked with blood; and our dust is made fat with fatnesse. Our dust is turned into brimstone: vers. 9. Deut: 28.24. the raine of our land is made pounder & dust: yea and our very water is turned into fire. The water that is drained through the earth of our Cellars and vaults, is turned into saltpeter; and that, and the coales, and the brimstone kindle their furie together in chambers [Page 688] of iron, and in brasse, and then belch o [...] fire and destruction. From hence come tho [...] dreadfull wonders which wee see in the heaven [...] and in the earth;Ioel. 2.30.blood, and fire, and pillars of smoke. The black-mouth'd Canons spitt the fire of wrath at us; and the tokens of their mallice which they send unto us, are balls of iron fitted for our confusion. Yea, and the more to terrifie us, they roare and thunde [...] out their defiances, even to the astonishment of all that heare them. Wee feede them with powder and they thank us in thunder and lightning: wee crambe them with iron; and they discharge themselves of it to the slaying of Christians. Yet mee thinks even these engins of iron in dumb lectures doe seeme to teach us relenting by their owne examples; by their shaking, their reversing, their ruaning when they are discharged, as if they trembled and were afraid themselves of the mischiefe they doe; and were glad when they had libertie to take their ease upon their beds. Is: 66.15. Thus the Lord cometh with fire among us, and with his charets like a whirle-wind, to render his anger with fury, and his rebukes with flames of fire: vers. 16 for by fire, and by sword the Lord pleadeth with us; and the slaine of the Land are many: Lam: 1.20. Behold ô Lord; for by reason hereof I am in distresse; my bowells are troubled; and mine heart is turned within mee; for wee have grievously rebelled. Abroad [Page 689] the sword bereaveth; and at home there is as death: The Lord is against us,Eze: 21 3.and hath drawne forth his sword out of his sheath, and doth cut off from us the rightious and the wicked. Therfore it is, vers. 6. that now I sigh with the breaking of my loines, and with bitternesse doe I sigh; vers. 7. even for the sad tidings which I dayly heare, because the sword cometh: every heart melteth, and all hands are feeble, and every spirit doth faint, and all knees are weake [...]s water. A sword, oh A sword, is sharpned,vers: 9.& allso fourbished: it is sharpned to make a sore slaughter; it is fourbished that it may glitter. vers: 10 cap: 38.21.The allmighty hath called for a sword against us thorow out all the land; every man's sword is against his brother: the Lord pleadeth against us with blood, vers: 22 vers: 18and with fire, and with brimstone. His fury is upon his face; vers: 19 and a great shaking is in our land. The covers of our souldiers are iron, & their weopons are iron, and their hearts are allso iron: so hard are their hearts that they kill without remorse; and they pillage and plunder without pitty or commiseration. The baggs that swelled with unjust gaine, and moneys purchased by extortion & fraud, now wonder at their owne emptinesse; and in their shrivell'd and pursed cheekes seeme to mourne for their falling away? Eccles: 5.16. This is a sore evill that in all points as the deceaver came so shall hee goe; and what profit hath hee that hath laboured for the wind? The plunderers suck downe his [Page 690] swollen purse, and leave nothing but a be and naked skinne: and by a new law of ga [...] they teach by the way of violence how to [...] in an hower as much as hee in his age c [...] scrape up by falshood. And when hee looker with an heavy and wish-full eye upon his departing moneys, never to be re-called; [...] deepe sigh tell's him 't is well that some me [...] nes are found to awaken his conscience. So hee spends his drooping dayes in wishing that hee were as innocent as many that are [...] poore: and it may be that by the losse of his coyne hee gaines some religion. Those againe whose honest care and thriftie labours had beene so blessed, that their moneys had increased, yea even by diminishing; and had multiplied for their charity; finding now the uncertainty of what the world falsely account's a treasure, part with their money with as deepe, but not a coveteous, sigh, an [...] that out of a consideration that the emptinesse of their coffers will be burdensome one day to their new, but fellonious possessours. They grieve that rapine should be more powerfull then innocency: yet content themselves with the certaine assurance of treasures in heaven. The surly robber in the interim, with a crustie conscience rejoyceth at the purchase of his owne destruction: and (to shew that hee hath as litle care of his issue as he hath of his soule) consume's in riott what his children [Page 691] may beg for. The lowest spoake is now come to be the highest in the wheele; and that which was the uppermost is turned to the ground. The [...]rich are become poore; and those who formerly were of a low esteeme, now pride it in the feathers of other birds. Solomons observations is come to passe in our dayes; Eccles: 10.6. vers. 7. the rich sit in low place: yea and wee see servants upon horses, and princes walking as servants upon the earth. Ier: 12.12.The spoilers are come upon all high places; for the sword of the Lord doth devoure from the one end of the land even to the other end of the land; noe flesh hath peace. Wee sowe wheate, vers. 13but wee reape thornes: wee put our selves to paine, but noe profit come's of it: and wee are even ashamed of our revenues, because of the fierce anger of the Lord. Our bloody victories are mixed both with joy and sorrow; for even our very conquests & tryumphs are mournfull. The more wee slay, the fewer kindred, and friends, and acquaintance are left us; and much of that blood which wee draw from others, is part of that which runneth in our owne veines. Iacob and Esau, brethren of the same wombe, contend for the birthright; and many a man strive's to supplant, to surprise, to destroy his kinsman, his brother, yea and his owne father. Our tongues are become prisoners, and are kept close under the roofes of our mouths, and within the grates [Page 692] of our teeth; yea and that in the compa [...] them who are, or should be deerest unto and all for feare of trecherie and discover The prudent are enforced to keepe silence because is an evill time. Amos. 13. Mic: 8.5.Wee dare not trust a friend [...] put confidence in a guide: wee keepe [...] doores of our mouths from them that lies our bosomes: vers. 6. The sonne dishonoureth the fath [...] the daughter riseth up against her mother; and the daughter in law against her mother in law. Brother delivereth up brother to death,Mat: 10 21.and the father the child: and the children rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death. Five in one house are divided; Luc: 12 52. vers: 53three against two, and two against three? The father is divided against the Sonne, and the sonne against the father: the mother against the daughter, a [...] the daughter against the mother: the moth [...] in law against the daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law: and a man's foes are those of his owne household. Mat. 10 36. Mal. 4.6. The Lord God of heaven amend these wicked times, and turne the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to the fathers; Ps: 69.22. Is: 29.21. Ier: 48.43. vers: 44 Our very tables become snares before us: and that which should have beene for our well-fare, is become a trap. A man is made an offender for a word; and a snare is layd for him that reproveth in the gate. Feare, and the pit, and the snare are upon us: hee that [Page 693] fleeth from the feare, falleth into the pit; and [...]e that getteth up out of the pit, is taken in the [...]are: the yeeres of our visitation are upon [...]. The spoiler is come upon every city, vers. 8. and noe [...]ty escaped: the vallies allso perish, and the [...]aines are destroyed. c: 15.7. The Lord doeth fanne [...] with a fanne in the gates of our land: hee [...]th bereave us of our children: hee doth destroy [...]s people because wee returne not from our wayes. Our widowes are increased to us above the sand [...]f the seas:vers: 8.& the Spoyler at noone day is brought [...]pon us. Shee that hath borne seaven, languisheth;vers: 9. [...]hee hath given up the ghost: her sunne is gone downe while it was yet day: and the residue of [...]s are delivered to the sword before our enemies. c: 6.26. O that wee would gird our selves with sackcloth, and wallow our selves in ashes; and make our selves mourning as for an onely sonne, most bitter lamentation; for the spoiler suddenly cometh upon us. Isa: 21.2. Ier: 48.10. The treacherous dealer dealeth treacherously, and the spoiler spoileth: Yea and the word is given out among us Cursed be hee that keepeth back his sword from blood: and yet few of us doe consider that the Lord God of recompences shall surely requite. c: 51.56. Amos. 5.18.Woe unto them that desired this day of the Lord. To what end is it for them? Alasse, the day of the Lord is darknesse and not light. vers: 19 As if a man did flee from a lion, and a beare mett him in the way; or went into the house, and leaned his hand on the wall, and a serpent bitt him. [Page 694] Wayling is in all our streetes;vers. 16and wee say [...] all the high wayes, Alasse, Alasse. W [...] call the husbandman to mourning, and such are skillfull of lamentation to wailing: vers. 17 & [...] all vineyards is wayling; for the Lord doth p [...] thorow us. O that now at last wee wou [...] seriously lay this to our hearts, vers. 14 and seeh good and not evill, that wee may live, and so the Lord, the God of hosts may be with us! O that wee would once hate the evill, vers. 15 and love the good, and establish judgment in the gate! It may be that the Lord of hosts would be gracious unto the remnant of Ioseph. But while wee remaine in our rebellions, wee must looke to lye downe in our miseries, as at this day. Ps. 79.2 The dead bodies of the servants of the most high are given to be meate unto the fowles of the heaven: and the flesh of his saints unto the beasts of the earth. vers. 3. Their blood is shed like water round about the Kingdome; and there are none to bury them. Wee are become a reproach to our neighbours: vers 4.a scorne and derision to them that are round about us. vers. 5.How long Lord wilt thou be angry? for ever? vers. 8.Shall thy jealousie burne like fire? O remember not against us our former iniquities: let thy tender mercies speedily prevent us; for wee are brought very love. vers. 9. Helpe us ô God of our salvation, for the glory of thy name! O deliver us, Ps: 125 3. and purge away our sinns, for thy name's sake! O let not the rod of the wicked [Page 695] [...] upon the lot of the righteous, lest the righteous [...] forth their hands to iniquity! Oh, how our [...]eres doe enforce us to flee to save our lives; Ier: 48.6. Prov: 28.1. Gen: 19 22. & [...]ke us like the heath in the wildernesse: & [...]e sometimes flee when none pursueth us. [...]hen Sodome was destroyed, Lot had a Zoar [...] flee unto: when Ierusalem was layed wast, [...]ne of the inhabitants had a Pella to escape [...]to. O that I now had wings like a dove: Ps. 55.6 [...] then would I flee away too, and be at [...]st. Lo, then would I wander far off, vers. 7. and [...]maine in the wildernesse: Ioel: 2.11. for the day of the [...]ord is greate, and very verrible; and who can [...]ide it? Hee is the true God, Ier. 10.10.hee is the li [...]ing God, and an everlasting King: at his [...]rath the earth doth tremble, and the nation [...] not able to abide his indignation. Ye, [...]hat doe I talke of fleeing; and wish for the [...]vings of a dove, that I might flee? Alasse, whither would I flee? Can the mountaines, [...]r the hills cover mee from the all-seeing Lord of hosts? Ps. 139.7. Whither shall I goe from his spirit; or whither shall I flee from his presence? If I ascend up to heaven, hee is there: If I make my bed in hell, behold he is there allso. vers. 8. vers. 9. vers. 10If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; even there shall his hand leade mee; and his right hand shall hold mee: If I say, vers. 11surely the darknesse shall cover mee; even the night shall be light about mee. Yea, vers. 12the darknesse hideth not from [Page 696] him, but the night shineth as the day: the d [...] nesse and the light to him are both alike. W [...] then shall I yet doe? Abide his wrath I cannot: endure these troubles, & vexatio [...] and impoverishings and heart-breakings, a [...] soule-bleeding perturbations any longer I cannot; and yet whither to goe or flee, to shun and avoyd them, I know not. Well; I am yet resolved what I will doe. Yes; 'tis my onely way; and doe it I must, I will. Since I cannot flee from God, I will flee to God. And yet, I will flee from him; from his wrath, from his anger, from his displeasure: and for all that I will flee to him allso, and to none but him: to his mercy, to his promises, to his tender compassions, which never faile. I have displeased him with my sinns: but I will displease my selfe for thus displeasing my kind, my good, my loving God. I have moved the holy one of Israel to anger by mine iniquities: But I will be angry with my selfe for moving him in whom I live, Act: 17 28.and move, and have my being. I will come unto him with teares; mee thinks mine eyes already begin to water; and I will cry unto him; Iob. 34.28. Ps: 65.2 for hee heareth the cry of the afflicted: and I will pray unto him; for hee is a god that heareth prayer: and I will sigh unto him; for he caused a marke to be set upon the fore-heads of those in Ierusalem who did sigh and cry for all the abominations which were done in the midst Ez: 9.4[Page 697] thereof. Oh, who can forbeare a shewer of teares, that is but the least sensible of the stormes of our calamities? Iud. 5.15. Who can choose but have greate thoughts of heart, for these divisions of Reuben? For my part, surely my heart is not all stone: some part of it, at least, is flesh; and therefore it must needs be sensible both of the generall sufferances, and of my particuler miserable condition. Our Chirurgians have a stone composed by art, which they call the infernall stone; with which they stupifie and make dead the flesh, where they intend to make an orifice for a fountenell or issue. From my heart should issue a fountaine of sorrow for the cause of my God's displeasure: and yet I am afraid mee thinks, to have the orifice made. I would be content to grieve; but, mee thinks I would not have it painfull; I would doe it at cheape rates. O but I must both grieve, and I must be pained too; yea I must be cut to the heart: yet not as were the high Priest and the Counsell, Act. 5.29.when Peter and Iohn tould them that they ought to obey God rather then men; where upon they were cut to the heart, and tooke counsell to slay them: vers. 33 c. 7.54. nor as they were cut to the heart when they gnashed with their teeth upon Stephen: but I must howsoever be cut, or at least I must be pricked at the heart, as were Peter's converts, c: 2.37. when they said unto him and to the rest of the Apostles, Men and brethren what shall wee doe? Oh, [Page 698] but I am afraid that I shall not be sensible enough; for I feare that I have an infernall stone lying upon my heart, which the devill layeth there purposely, that I may not be sensible. Well; if thus it be, I shall find it by the working, by the tingling. I am sure that God now doth a Thing in our Israel, 1. Sam. 3.11.at which both the eares of every one that heareth it doe tingle: yea and mee think's, not onely mine eares tingle, but even my heart allso tingleth and trembleth at the same. Well; though that stone be there, yet the inscision shall be made; and howsoever I will desire that a paine I may endure. If yet I am not sensible enough when the inscision is made, I hope I shall have time enough to smart before the eskar be off. ‘Lord, I desire that I may be sensible of the wounds of this land; and that the blood which is shed in these violent times, may be washed away by the teares of mee, and other penitent sinners. Or, if blood requireth blood; Lord let the wine and oyle of the best Samaritane; let the blood of my mercifull Redeemer prevaile for pardon for the blood which is shed in these un-naturall warrs;’ and let it stoppe the fountaine, the current, the issue thereof. If my poore countrie was formerly troubled with a plurisie, I am sure that now it useth the harsh meanes of phlebotomie; for it is let blood in every part; in the head, the armes, the leggs, the feete; yea [Page 699] and even in the very heart. And yet for all this, are there not some among us (upon whose hearts the stupifying infernall stone is layd) who are like unto Moab; Ier. 48.11. who have beene at case from their youth, and have setled upon their lees; and have not beene emptyed from vessell to vessell; nor have gone into captivitie; and therfore their tast remaineth in them, neither is their sent changed? Are there not those among us, that put farre away the evill day; Amos. 6.3. vers. 4.and cause the seate of violence to come neere? That lie upon beds of ivory, and stretch themselves upon their couches; and eate the lambs out of the flock, & the calves out of the midst of the stall? vers. 5.That chaunt to the sound of the violl, and invent to themselves instruments of musick? vers. 6.That drinke wine in bowles, and annoint themselves with the chiese ointments; but are not grieved for the afflictions of Ioseph? Ierusalem was then surest of her destruction, when she laughed and rejoyced in her surfeits and riotts; & my compassionate Iesus at the same time foreseeing her ruine, mourned and wept over her. Oh, Luc. 19 41. mee thinks, when I lay my hand upon my heart, when I touch my heart, I find it a stringed instrument; and when I stoppe upon the fretts, the lesson that it playeth is nothing but Lachrymae. Yet I feare I weepe not so much as I should: and I feare too that every one doth not weepe so much as I doe. I feare there are still those among us, Isa: 49.26. who dilight to be fed with their [Page 700] owne flesh; and to be drunke with their owne blood, as with sweete wine. What shall I say of such; or how shall I pleade for them? Have these workers of wickednesse noe knowledg, Ps. 14.4who eate up the people as they eate bread; and call not upon the Lord? 2. Sam. 2.26. Lord shall their sword devoure for ever? Know wee not that it will be bitternesse in the latter end? How long shall it be then ere the people be bid returne from following their brethren? The Lord hath said by the mouth of his servant David that he will abhorre the bloody,Ps. 5.6. Ps: 55.23.and deceitfull man: yea, he saith that bloody and deceitfull men shall not live out halfe their dayes; Ps. 68.30. Ps. 51.14. Ps: 46.9 and that hee will skatter the people that delight in warre. Deliver [...] from blood-guilinesse, ô God, thou God of [...] salvation. O that my God would make these warrs to cease. O that he would breake the bowes, and cut the speares in sunder, and bur [...] the chariots in the fire! This I am sure, he [...] and hee alone can doe. Hee, and hee onely, is our refuge and strength; vers. 1.and a very present he [...]e in trouble. This therfore that hee may doe, I will imitate the Prophet Daniel; and I will speake, Dan. 9.20.and pray, and confesse mine owne sinnt, and the sinns of this people; and present my supplication before the Lord my God, and thus I will say.
The First Prayer, wherein is set downe. • 1 Gods Iustice in punishing his owne people in former times. , • 2 His Iustice allso in the present punishing us for our offences. , and • 3 An earnest supplication for our repentance and his forgivenesse.
O Righteous father, thou who art righteous in all thy wayes, Ps. 145.17. and holy in all thy workes; I, thine unworthy creature in the very griefe of my heart, and with a sad and bleeding soule, cannot choose but sit downe and weepe, Ps. 13 [...] 1. vers. 8. in the consideration of our poore Sion wasted with miseries. Yet great and grievous though our afflictions are, and the increase and growth which they may yet arise higher unto, is all-together as unknowne to us, as when the period and end of them shall be: howsoever I must confesse thee to be a righteous God, strong, and patient. And seeing all things are naked and open unto thee, with whom wee have to doe, I cannot choose but acknowledg here, upon my bended knees before thine all-seeing majesty, that the sinns, oh the grievous, the scandalous, the out-ragious sinns of this nation have cryed for this vengeance, Ps: 51.4 that thou [Page 702] mayst be justifyed when thou speakest, and be cleere now thou judgest. I confesse ô Lord, out of a sense of mine owne transgressions, and consideration of the crimes of this people, Is: 59.12. that our transgressions are multiplyed before thee; and our sinns testifie against us: for our transgressions are with us; and as for our iniquities, I desire of thee Lord that wee may know them. When thine owne deare people of Israel would not be reformed by terrour, Lev. 26 16. vers. 17and consumption, and the burning ague; by their enemies eating that which they had sowed, and reigning over them; by their fleeing when none did pursue them: by making their heaven iron & their earth as brasse: vers 18by suffering them to spend their strength in vaine, vers. 19and causing their land not to yeeld her increase, n [...] the trees their fruite: vers. 22 by the wild beasts robbing them of their children; by destroying their cattell, and making them few in number, and their high wayes desolate: then didst thou threaten them, vers. 23 saying; If yee will yet walke contrarie to mee then will I walke contrarie to you; vers. 24 vers: 25 and will punish you yet seaven times for your sinns. I will bring a sword upon you, that shall avenge the quarrell of my covenant: & when yee are gathered together within your citties, I will send the Pestilence among you;Deut. 28.15.& yee shall be delivered into the hand of the enemie. Againe, thou didst allso threaten them, saying, If thou wilt not hearken to the voyce of the Lord thy God, to observe to doe all his commandements, and [Page 703] his statutes:vers. 25the Lord shall cause thee to be smitten before thine enemies: thou shalt goe out one way against them, and flee seaven wayes before them: and thy carkeise shall be meate unto all fowles of the aire, and unto the beasts of the earth; vers. 26and noe man shall fray them away. Iud. 2.13. Thus when Israel forsooke thee their Lord, and served Baalim and Ashahroth; vers. 14 then thine anger was hot against them, and thou didst deliver them into the hands of spoilers that spoyled them; and didst sell them into the hands of their enemies round about, so that they could not any longer stand before their enemies. c. 3.7. Thus againe when they did evill in thy sight, and forgat thee their Lord and their God; and served Baalim and the groves; then thine anger was hot against Israel, vers. 8.and thou didst sell them into the hands of Chusan-Rishathaim king of Mesopotamia, and they served him eight yeeres. vers. 9. But yet when they cryed unto thee, thou didst raise up a deliverer to them who delivered them. Thus allso when they did evill in thy sight, c. 6.1.thou didst deliver them into the hands of Midian seaven yeeres. And thus at another time when they did evill againe in thy sight and served Baalim and Ashtaroth, c. 10.6.and forsooke thee, and served thee not: vers: 7.then thine anger was hot against them, and thou didst sell them into the hands of the Philistines & into the hands of the children of Ammon. c: 13.1. Yea and thus when they allso did likewise [Page 704] evill in thy sight, thou didst deliver them into the hands of the Philistines fortie yeeres. If then Lord thou sparedst not thine owne deere people when they thus sinned, Ps: 106.29. and provoked thee to wrath through their owne inventions; how can wee the most abhominable of all thy creatures have the least hope of the cessation of thy judgments, who still doe multiply and increase our unsufferable abhominations? Neither terrour nor consumption, nor any other of thy corrections formerly sent us, have prevailed with us to search and try our wayes, and to turne unto thee our dreadfull Lord. Iustly therfore doest thou walke contrarie unto us, and causest the sword to avenge the quarrell of thy covenant. Wee are smitten before our enemies, yea even such enemie [...] who have beene and should have continued our friends: for religion, countrie, neigbourhood, affinitie, and consanguinitie had tyed us together with the bonds of love. But now alasse wee goe out one way against them, and flee seaven wayes before them. Wee have in many places had those among us who served Baalim, and Ashtaroth, and the groves: and wee have had those too, who allthough they have professed with Naaman, that they would offer neither burnt offerings, 2. King 5.17.nor sacrifice unto other Gods, but onely unto thee the true Lord: yet with Naaman allso, they have bowed in the house of Rimmon. vers: 8. Iustly [Page 705] therfore, ô most justly is thine anger hot against us, and wee are delivered into the hands of spoylers. Confesse wee must ô God, that wee are a sinfull nation, Is. 1.4.a people laden with iniquity, a seede of evill doers, children that are corrupters: wee have forsaken thee our Lord, wee have provoked thee the Holy-one to anger, wee have gone away backward. vers. 5.The whole head is sick, and the whole heart faint: vers. 6.from the sole of the foote even to the head there is noe soundnesse; but wounds and bruises, and putrifying sores: they have not beene closed, neither bound up, neither mollified with oyntment. Wee have indeede with our tongues called thee our father and our master; & yet thou mayst justly question us as thou didst the Israelites by the mouth of thy holy Prophet, If I be a father, Mal: 1.6.where is mine honour? And if I be a master, where is my feare? Ah Lord wee must confesse that wee are all as an uncleane thing; Is: 64.6.and all our righteousnesses are as filthy raggs wee all doe fade as a leafe, & our iniquities as the wind doe take us away. vers: 7.There is none among us that calleth upon thy name as he ought to doe; that stirreth up himselfe to take hold of thee: for thou hast hid thy face from us, and hast consumed us because of our iniquities. vers: 8. But now, ô Lord, thou art our father: wee are the clay, and thou our potter, and wee all are the worke of thine hand. vers: 9.Be not wroth very sore ô Lord; neither remember iniquity for ever: [Page 706] behould, see I beseech thee, wee are all thy people.
True it is, c: 28.3. ô eternall Purity, that tho [...] didst threaten by thy Prophet, that the drunkards of Ephraim should be trodden under feete and by thy servant Solomon thou hast warned us, Prov. 23.20. vers. 21 saying, Be not amongst wine bibbers; amongst riotous eaters of flesh: for the drunkar [...] and the glutton shall come to povertie; and drowzinesse shall cloath them with raggs. And yet, as if thy words were not true, or thy judgments not to be feared and trembled at th [...] is among us a roote that beareth gall and wormewood,Deut. 29 18.to adde drunkennesse to thirst. Wee hart Vriah's, 1. Sam. 11.13. 1. King 16.9. 1. Sam. 25.36.made drunke; and wee have Elah's, & Nabals, drinking themselves drunke, and making Kingly feasts, where the end of their mirth is drunkennesse. Seeing therfore the [...] is this guilt among us, how can wee expect other but that thou shouldest tread downe to people in thine anger, Is: 63.6and make them drunke is thy furie, and bring downe our strength to the earth? It was thy judgment upon Moab, the he should be made drunken and should wall [...] in his vomit & be in derision. Ier. 48.26. Is. 51.17. Wee ô Lord; are now made drunke with the cup of thy furie, and drinke the dreggs of the cup of trembling, and wring them out: and that because of the cupps of drunkennesse and madnesse which have over flowed in our land. Ier. 10.24. But ô heavenly father correct us but with judgment, and not in [Page 707] thine anger, lest thou bring us to nothing. Luc: 21 34. Make every one of us of this nation Take heede lest at any time our hearts be over-charged with surfeiting & drunkennesse, and cares of this life; & so that day, the day of judgment, come upon us unawares.
By King Solomon, ô thou glorious Essence, Frov: 16.18. thou hast tould us that pride goeth before destruction, & an haughty spirit before a fall: and the Apostle telleth us, Iam. 4.6. Eze: 16 49. that thou resistest the proude, but givest grace to the humble: and the Prophet telleth that pride was one of the iniquities of Sodome, as well as fullnesse of bread, and aboundance of idlenesse. Yet, ô Lord God all-mighty, in our pride wee have neither remembred the destruction, nor the threatned fall; nor thy resisting us; nor Sodom's ruine. Lord forgive this iniquity amongst us; and give us now such humble hearts, Ps. 75.6 that wee may noe more set our hornes on high, nor speake with stiffe necks: for why? Thou ô God art the judg: vers. 8.thou puttest downe one, and settest up another.
Wee are taught, ô thou just God of truth, Prov. 11.1. that a false ballance is abhomination unto thee; but a just weight is thy delight: and wee know that thou didst question by thy Prophet, saying, Mic: 6.11. Shall I count them pure with the wicked ballances, and with the bagg of deceitfull weights? vers. 10 Are there not in Ierusalem and Samaria the treasures of wickednesse in the house of the [Page 708] wicked, and the skant measure which is abo [...] minable? Yea and wee know that thou do [...] stricktly forbid, Deut: 25.14. vers: 13 vers. 15 saying, Thou shalt not have i [...] thine house diverse measures, a greate and [...] small: thou shalt not have in thy bagge divers [...] weights, a greate and a small: but thou shal [...] have a perfect and just weight; a perfect and just measure shalt thou have, that thy dayes may be lengthened in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. And yet for all this, the same complaint may be made against many of us, Ier: 6.13. which was against Iudah, wee are given to coveteousnesse, and wee dealt falsly. Iustly therfore, ô most righteous judg thou mayst question us as thou didst the Iewes and say; c: 7.9. vers: 10 will yee steale, murder, comm [...] adulterie, and sweare falsly; and come and stand before mee in my house which is called by my name, and say, wee are delivered [...] doe all these abominations?
O thou that art the easer of the oppressed thou God of compassionate bowells, to thee are allso knowne both the deceaver and the oppressour walking hand in hand among us. Surely thou hast seene it, Ps: 10.15.for thou behouldest ungodlinesse and wrong: therfore thou callest, Amos. 8.4. vers. 5 saying, Heare this ô yee that swallow up the needy, even to make the poore of the land to faile; saying, when will the Sabbath be gone, that wee may set forth wheate, making the Ephah small, and the Shekel greate, and [Page 709] falsifying the ballance by deceit?vers. 6.that wee may buy the poore for silver, and the needy for a paire of shooes.
Yea, ô thou that makest inquisition for blood, and forgettest not the complaint of the poore, to thee wee must confesse that with the deceitfull is joyned allso among us even the bloody murderer; allthough wee are well assured that the blood-thirstie and deceitfull man shall not live out halfe his dayes. Ps. 55.25.
Yea Lord, thou God of justice, thou mayest allso complaine of us as thou didst of the Iewes, Is: 59.4. and say that few or none among us calleth for justice, or pleadeth for truth: wee trust in vanity, and speake lyes; wee conceave mischiefe, and bring forth iniquity. Hos. 4.2.By swearing, and lying, and killing, and stealing, and committing adulterie, the people breake out, and blood toucheth blood! Therfore doth our land mourne, vers: 3.and every one that dwelleth therein doth languish. Thus, ô thus wickedly, thus contemptuously, Iud: 10 15. thus outragiously, yea and many more and worse though closer wayes, have wee sinned, o Lord: doe thou unto us whatsoever in thy mercy seemeth good unto thee. For these, Ier. 50.4.and for all other our private and publike, our secret and our open, our particular and our generall crimes, I besiech thee, o father of mercies, to graunt that I, and all the people of the land may goe weeping, as once did [Page 710] the children of Israel, and of Iudah. Lord be reconciled unto us in the blood of that Lamb of thine who taketh away the sinns of the world. Cause us all now in this time of our visitation to learne, vers. 5. and aske the way to Sion, with our faces thitherward, saying, Come & let us joyne our selves unto the Lord in a perpetuall covenant that shall not be broken.Amos. 7.2. Dan. 9.19. Ioel. 2.21. vers. 26O Lord God forgive us I beseech thee: by whom. Shall Iacob arise? For hee is small. O Lord heare; ô Lord forgive; o Lord hearken and doe it: so shall wee be sure that thou wilt doe greate things Cause us once againe to eate in plenty, & be satisfied, & praise thy name, o Lord our God, when thou hast dealt thus wonderously with us; and wee shall never be ashamed. Ier. 29.11. O let thy thoughts be thoughts of peace towards us, and not of evill. Wee should, o my God, 1. Pet. 3 8. wee should have loved one another as brethren, and should have beene pittyfull and courteous: but to our shame I must acknowledg with a sad and a broken heart, that wee have beene more ready to bite and devoure one another; Gal. 5.15. and therfore now are wee justly consumed one of another. It is most just with thee, o thou sin-revenging God, thus to visit our offences with the rod, Ps: 89.32.& our sinns with scourges. Vnnaturall have beene our crimes, & therfore unnaturall are likewise our punishments: Ps: 37.15. for our swords doe goe thorow our owne hearts; and wee our selves are become the [Page 711] destroyers of our selves. O eternall mercy! O eternall goodnesse, be thou gratiously pleased, I beseech thee to give us a true sight, sense, and feeling of these and all other our faylings and back-slidings; give us hearty remorse, contrition, and sorrow for them all; together with a stedfast resolution of new obedience: yea and so strengthen us in these our pious resolutions, and so enable us to the performance of the same; yea so sanctifie us throughout, that our whole spirits, and soules, & bodies may be kept blamelesse unto the comeing of our Lord and Saviour Iesus Christ. Thou hast threatned that. If a man will not turne, Ps. 7.13thou will whet thy sword: & this long time thou hast bent thy bowe: thou hast prepared for us, vers. 14 and brought among us the instruments of death; and hast ordained thine arrowes against thy persecuters. Yet Lord thou art yesterday, and to day, and the same for ever. The same father of mercies, and God of all consolation. Remember therfore, I beseech thee, how gratious thou wert to the people of Iudah, to whom thou sentest thy Prophet to speake, Ier. 26.3. If so be they would hearken, and turne every man from his evill way, that thou mightest repent thee of the evill which thou didst purpose to doe unto them because of the evill of their doeings. O Lord doe thou rent our hearts in thy mercy; and make us turne from our evill wayes, that thou mayst repent thee of the evill of our punishments. [Page 712] Make us turne unto thee with [...] our hearts,Ioel: 2.12.with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: Ex: 32.12. and then turne thou from thy fierce wrath, and repent of this evill against thy people. Is: 1.26 Turne thine hand upon us, and purely purge a way our drosse, and take away all our tinne. vers: 26 Restore our Iudges as at the first, and our counsellers as at the beginning: and call our land the land of righteousnesse, vers: 27 the faithfull land. Let our Zion be redeemed with: judgment, and our converts with righteousnesse. Ps: 86.17. Shew some good token upon us for good, that they which hate us may see it & be ashamed, because thou Lord helpest and comfortest us. Heare ô my God, in the bowells of thy compassions: close and bind up our wounds, for his sake who was wounded for our transgressions; pardon us for his sake who is our onely reconciliation: and let the cryes which our finns have sent up to heaven for vengeance, be ceased, and quieted by the blessed pleading of our onely Mediatour betweene thee and us, even the beloved Sonne of thy bosome, Iesus Christ our onely Lord and Saviour. Amen.
The Second Prayer, consisting of. • 1 A dolefull complaint of our grievous calamities. , • 2 An humble desire of the remission of our sinns. , and • 3 A fervent supplication for righteousnesse and peace.
GReate and glorious Lord God, who art the Lord of hosts, 1. Sam. 17.45. Exod: 15.3.and God of the armies of Israel; ô thou who hast styled thy selfe a man of warre, whose name is the Lord; Looke downe, I beseech thee, upon the distressed anguish & consuming sorrowes of this thy people in our land of blood. Thou seest Lord, thou seest the afflictions of Ioseph; the calamities of thy people; how our blood is shed like water on every side of our Kingdome; how our bones lye scattered before the pit, like as when one breaketh and heweth wood upon the earth. How long Lord, how long, just and holy, shall the prayers, and the teares, and the cries, and the supplications of thy saints and servants ascend up unto heaven and yet thou seeme unto us as a deafe man which heareth not; and as a man which is dumb, Ps. 38.13.that openeth not his mouth? Is there noe balme in Gilead? Is [Page 714] there noe physitian there? Why then is n [...] the health of the daughter of thy people recovered?Ier:O the hope of Israel, the saviour thereof in the time of trouble, why should thou be as a stranger in our land; and as way-faring man, that turneth a side to tarr [...] but a night?Psal.Thou hast moved our land, and divided it: ô heale the sores thereof for it shaketh. O let the sorrowfull sighing of the prisoners come before thee: according to the multitude of thy mercies preserve thou those that are appointed to death: Arise ô Lord, from thy resting place, thou and the arke of thy strength. Arise, and have mercy upon our Sion; for it is time that thou have mercy upon her, yea the time is come: for why? Th [...] servants thinke upon her stones, and it greiveth us to see how shee lyeth downe in the dust. O now at last be thou favourable and gracious to our Sion; and build thou the walls of our Ierusalem. Send peace within our walls, and plenteousnesse within our pallaces. For our brethrens and companions sake I wish this prosperitie: yea because of the many houses of the faithfull who put their trust in thee our Lord & our God, I pray for this good. Exod. 3 7. Thou, o Lord, hast surely seene the afflictions of this thy people, and hast heard our cries by reason of the sword; for thou knowest our sorrowes. vers. 8. O come thou downe to deliver us, as once thou didst thy people of Israel from the hand of the Egyptians. Thou [Page 715] seest how the sword is drawne in an unnatu [...]ll manner; brother against brother, neigh [...]our against neighbour, house against house, [...]ather against Sonne, and Sonne against Father; all having weapons of warre which [...]re like to destroy the nation; & all clothing [...]hemselves in garments rolled in blood. Isa. 9.5 Thou seest how many amongst us thirst for blood, & how whole rivers thereof runne in our fields, and in our streetes; & yet it is not in the power or pollicie of man to stoppe the current. It is now, o Lord, with us as it was once with idolatrous Israel, when Moses commanded them, saying, Exod. 32.27. Put every man his sword by his side, and goe in and out, and slay every man his brother, and every man his companion, and every man his neighbour. Psal: Thy holy temples are defiled, and without thy preventing mercy; our Ierusalem may be made an heape of stones. Heresie and Schisme oppose the cleere light of thy glorious gospel: Ps: 137.7. and like the children of Edom in the day of Ierusalem, they say even of truth it selfe, downe with it, downe with it, even to the ground. Many of our citties and townes doe now sitt solitarie, Lam. 1 1. c: 2.11.that were full of people; and are become as widdowes. The children and sucklings swoone in our streetes: the widows make their lamentations over the gasping bodies of their wounded husbands: the young ones cry for bread but some of them find neither fathers to give it thē nor mothers to compassionate [Page 716] them. Is: 33.8 The high wayes lye wast; [...] way-faring man ceaseth: the line of confus [...] is stretched out upon the land, c. 34.11.& the stones of e [...] ptinesse.vers. 13Thornes come up in our pallaces; net [...] and brambles in our streetes; and houses a [...] become habitations of dragons, c. 8.21.and courts f [...] owles. Some wicked ones among us that a [...] hungry, Lam. 2.9. fret themselves, and curse our Kin [...] and our god, and looke upward. The law i [...] noe more;vers. 10the Prophets allso find noe vis [...] from thee the Lord. The elders sit upon the ground, and keepe silence: they have cast up d [...]t upon their heads; they have girded themselves with sack-cloth: the virgins h [...] downe their heads to the ground. It is not no [...] as it was in the dayes of ould, Luc. 7.25. when men cloth [...] in soft raiment, and they which were gorgeous [...] apparelled, and lived delicately, were in King courts. Is: 1.7. Our countrie is desolate; our citties a [...] burnt with fire; and our land is desolate as or [...] throwne by strangers.Lam: 5.1.Remember ô Lord, who is come upon thy people: consider and behold on reproach. vers. 2. Some of our inheritances are turned to strangers, and our houses to aliants. Many among us are orphans and fatherlesse; vers. 3. and many that were wives are become widowes. Many doe get their bread with the perill of their lives, vers. 9. Ps. 142.7. vers. 6. Ps. 94.19.because of the sword that maketh our land a wildernesse. O Lord, doe thou consider our complaint, for wee are brought very low. Thou, ô Lord, art our hope, and our portion: in the [Page 717] multitude of sorrowes which wee have in our [...]rts, let thy comforts, ô my God, refresh our [...]les. Heare ô Lord, and have mercy upon us:Ps: 30.11. Ps: 65.2 Ps: 69.34. [...]ord be thou our helper. O thou that hearest [...]rayer, thou that hearest the poore, and despisest [...]ot the prisoners, cause thou us to fast, and [...]ay, and reade and weepe, and repent as thou [...]equirest; Is: 58.8 that our light may breake forth as the [...]orning, & our health may spring forth speedily: [...]o our righteousnesse shall goe forth before us, & [...]he glory of thee our Lord shall be our reward. Mat: 2.18. Oh how dolefull is this voyce which is heard in [...]ur Rama; this lamentation, and weeping, and great mourning: Rachel weeping for her children, [...]nd will not be comforted, because they are not! Al-mighty God, everlasting father,Is: 9.6.prince of [...]eace, thou who didst comfort thy disciples that in thee they might have peace, Io. 16.33. Gen: 8.11.because in the world they should have tribulation: be pleased, I beseech thee, in mercy to send thy dove with the olive leafe of peace into this our distressed Kingdome. When thy servant Solomon dedicated his temple to thy holy worship, he prayed unto thee, and sayd; 1 King 8.33.When thy people Israel shall be smitten downe before the enemie, because they have sinned against thee; and shall turne againe to thee, and confesse thy name, and pray,vers: 34and make supplication unto thee: Then heare thou in heaven, and forgive the sinne of thy people Israel; and bring them againe to the land which thou [Page 718] gavest to their fathers. Heavenly father w [...] are smitten downe before our enemies, an [...] that because wee have sinned against thee but by thy grace wee turne againe to the and confesse thy name, and pray, and mak [...] our supplications to thee in thy temples [...] Heare thou us in heaven, and forgive th [...] sinns of thy distressed and back-sliding Israel, & compose our grievous divisions and destructions. ‘Mercifull father, bow downe thine eare to mee the worst of all this thine Israel, who in the name of our whole nation doe here beseech thee to be pacified with this broken Kingdome, smitten downe with its owne bloody and sharpest sword. Make us all [...] turne againe unto thee; and pray, and ma [...] our supplications unto thee more frequent [...] and more fervently then formerly wee ha [...] done; that thou mayst heare us, and he alt our land.’ O thou sword of the Lord, ho [...] long will it be ere thou be quiet?Ier: 47.6.Put up thy sell into thy skabbard; rest, and be still. O God of peace, ô Prince of peace, thou and tho [...] onely it is who makest warrs to cease in all the world, Ps: 46.9 when so thou pleasest: who breakest the bowe, and knappest the speare i [...] sunder, and burnest the chariots in the fire. O give thou unto us thy wounded people such rest on every side, 1. King 5.4. c: 8.57.that wee may have neither adversarie, nor evill occurrent. Doe thou, o Lord our God, be with us as thou [Page 719] wert with our fathers: doe not leave us, nor for [...]ke us. Make us incline our hearts to thee, vers: 58 [...]d walke in thy wayes, and keepe thy com [...]andements, and thy statutes, and thy judg [...]ents which thou commandedst our fathers. Thou, o God, art the God of peace; thou, Rom: 15.33. [...] Christ, art the Prince of peace; thou, o hea [...]enly and blessed Spirit, art the Dove of [...]eace: o thou united Trinitie give peace in his our land, that wee may lie downe, Lev: 26 6.and [...]one may make us afraid. O let not the [...]word any longer goe through our land; but doe [...]hou walke among us, and be our God; vers: 12 and let [...]s be thy people. Give peace in our time, [...] Lord: let the righteous flourish; Ps: 72.7yea and [...]boundance of peace, so long as the moone endureth. Give the King thy judgments,vers: 1. [...] God; and thy righteousnesse unto the Kings Sonnes. Let the mountaines bring forth peace;vers: 3.and the litle hills righteousnesse unto thy people. ‘O King of Kings and Lord of Lords, doe thou in mercy direct and continue our Soveraigne Lord the King in the truth and purity of our religion, without inclining either to the right hand, or to the left. Make him allways a Royall protectour, a zealous professour, and a constant practiser of the same. Blesse him, o thou God of blessings, in his Royall Person, blesse him in his Consort, blesse him in his Issue, blesse him in his Counsellers, and blesse him in all his People, even frō Dan to Beersheba.’ [Page 720] Be propitious, ô thou wonderfull Counsell [...] in an especiall and peculiar manner unto th [...] head and members of our high and most hon [...] rable Parliament. Doe thou knitt and un [...] them, doe thou guide and direct them in a [...] their counsells and consultations, that they ma [...] unanimously & joyntly conclude upon such who some lawes, as may tend to the suppression o [...] wickednesse and vice, and the maintenance of thy true religion and vertue: rooting up all atheisne and profanenesse, all herefie and superstition, all schisme and faction; that both church and common wealth may be religiously and firmely knitted and tyed together in the unitie of the spirit, Ps. 85.11.by the bond of peace. Let thy truth, o Go [...] of truth, flourish out of the earth; and righteounesse looke downe from heaven. Doe thou Lo [...] shew thy loving kindnesse unto thy people; vers: 12 [...] let our land give it's increase. Let thy peop [...] dwell in peaceable habitations, Isa. 32.18.and in su [...] dwellings, and in quiet resting places. Cau [...] thou us to beate our swords into plo [...] shares,c: 2.4.and our speares into pruning-hookes [...] and suffer us not to learne such civill war [...] any more. c: 11.5. Let righteousnesse be the gird [...] of our loynes, and faithfulnesse the girdle of our reines.vers. 6.Let the wolfe allso dwell with t [...] lamb, and the leopard lie downe with the ki [...] and the calfe, and the young lyon, and the fatling together; and let a litle child lead [...] them.vers. 8.Let a sucking child play on the hole of [Page 721] [...]he aspe; and a weaned child put his hand on the [...]ockatrice denne. Breake thou the bowe,Hos: 2.18.and the sword, and the battell out of the earth; and make us to lie downe safely. vers. 19Betroth us unto thee for ever in righteousnesse, and in judgment and in loving kindnesse, and in mercies. O let us sit downe every one under our vines, Mic: 4.4.and under our fig trees; & let there be none en make us afraid. Glory be to thee, ô God in the highest, Luc: 2.14. Io: 14.27. 1. Sam. 25.6. 2. Thes. 3.16. Rom: 5.1. Eph. 2.14.and on earth peace; and good will towards men. Suffer not, ô eternall peace, the hearts of us to be troubled, neither let us be afraid. Peace be both to us, and peace be to our houses, and peace be to all that wee have; and that in and through him who is the Lord of peace. Iustifie us all by faith, that wee may have peace with thee our God, through our Lord Iesus Christ: for hee is our peace who hath made both, one, and hath broken downe the middle wall of partition betweene us. The peace of thee our God, Phil: 4.7.which passeth all understanding, keepe all our hearts and minds through Iesus Christ our onely Lord and Saviour. Amen.
The Third prayer; wherein the Lord is humbly implored that our Bloody battells may be turned into a Spirituall war-fare.
O Eternall & blessed Redeemer, Mat: 10 34. vers. 35 thou who camest not to send pea [...] on earth, but the sword; and to sets man at variance against his father and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law; and to cause that a man's foes should be those of his owne house-hold: vers: 36 behold in mercy, I most humbly beseech thee, this Sick and wound [...] land, wherein those words of my Redeeme according to the letter are most stricktly made good. O my God, my onely stay and comfort, my onely refuge & tower of defence, be pleased I beseech thee, to turne the letter into the spirit, that what is verified in the first senst may be made true onely in the last. Whe [...] Knowledg and Life grew upon Trees, Innocen Adam was neither dull of apprehension, Cen: 2.9. no [...] fearfull of death. But since his Fall wee find to our griefes that wee neither understand thy word of truth so fully as wee should; nor art wee freed from the howerly feares of death & destruction. But for as much as thou, o my God, hast beene a teacher of peace and righteousnesse unto thy people, and that the [...] [Page 723] [...] Civill and bloody Warrs are noe other then [...] judgment sent from thee upon the heads of [...] for our crimson iniquities: doe thou teach is all, I humbly pray thee, that wee ought not to warre after the flesh, 2. Cor. 10.3. though wee walke [...] the flesh. Thine Apostle tell's us that the weopons of our war fare ought not to be carnall, vers. 4. [...]ut spirituall, mighty through thee to the pulling downe of strong holds:vers. 5.casting downe imagina [...]ions, and every high thing that exalteth it selfe against the knowledg of thee our God; and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. O Lord our God, doe thou make us all as strangers and pilgrimes, 1. Pet. 2.11.to obstaine from [...]leshly lusts which warre against the soule; that [...]hus wee may warre a good war-fare. 1. Tim. 1.18. c. 6.12. To this purpose teach us, I pray thee to fight the good fight of faith: and that wee may be the better fitted for it, Eph. 6.11. make us to put on the whole armour of thee our God, that wee may [...]he able to stand against the wyles of the devill. vers. 14 vers. 15 Doe thou enable us to stand, having our loynes girt about with truth, and having on the breast-plate of righteousnesse; and our feete shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace. Above all things make us take the shield of faith, vers. 16where-with wee shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked; vers. 17 Rom. 13.12. 2. Cor [...] 6.7. and the helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit, which is the word of thee our God. Arme us, o father, with the armour of light, and with [Page 724] the armour of righteousnesse on the right h [...] and on the left: 2. Tim: 2.3. and then shall wee lea [...] endure hardnesse, as good souldi [...]rs of Iesus Ch [...] Make our Captaines such as was the righ [...] teous Centurion in the gospel; Mat. 8.9. Act: 10 1. vers: 2. or like d [...] vout Cornelius, a centurion of the Itali [...] band: even devout men, fearing thee our Ge [...] with all their house holds; giving much alme [...] the people; and praying to thee allways. Tea [...] our inferiour souldiers to know that it is the [...] duety to doe violence to noe man, Luc: 3.14.neither [...] accuse any falsly, and to be contented with th [...] wages. Rom. 13.12. Let them know and consider that [...] night is farr spent, and the day is at hand: mak [...] them therfore to cast off the works of darkness [...] and to put on the armour of light. vers. 13 Cause tho [...] us all to walke honestly, as in the day: not rioting and drunkennesse, not in chambering as wantonnesse, vers. 14not in strife and envying: [...] putting on thee our Lord Iesus Christ; as making noe provision for the flesh to fulfill [...] lusts thereof. 2. Tim. 4.7. So shall wee fight a good figh [...] and finish our courses, and keepe the faith: assuring our selves with thine holy Apostle that henceforth is layd up for us a crow [...] of righteousnesse which thou Lord the righteo [...] judg shalt give us at that day;vers. 8.and not [...] us onely but unto all them all so which lov [...] thine appearing. Heb: 13 20. Now thou God of peac [...] who broughest againe from the dead our Lor [...] Iesus Christ, that greate sheep-heard of the [Page 725] sheepe, through the blood of the everlasting covenant;vers. 2 [...].Make us perfect in every good worke to doe thy will, working in us that which is well pleasing in thy sight, through [...]esus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever: Amen.