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SO Monſieur Petre, What News from the Engliſh-Court? How ſtand the Affairs of our Holy Mother there? What Progreſs in our Deſigns? Does our Intended Reformation thrive? What number of Converts? Is the Army new Modell'd, and all things ready for the main point? Come tell us, Mr. Petre, for I am big with Expectation.
May it pleaſe your Holineſs we are all undone, I Vow.
Now, as I hope to be Sainted, I muſt tell you, you are an unmannerly blunt Fellow, to put me into ſuch a Fright of a ſuddain: That Rebellious Son of mine, at Paris, has ſo often diſorder'd me, with the Apprehenſion of his Dragoons, and Military Contributions, that every hard Word I hear, is as bad as a Fit of an Ague to me; and I had rather loſe my Eyes or my Ears, than receive a Memorial from France, it ſmells ſo horridly, I fancy, of Powder and Match: But now I am recover'd, prithee, What is the matter?
Why, Sir, you muſt muſter up all your Courage to hear what I am going to relate, and truly, nothing but the ſatisfaction of having Eſcaped, could encou
What Danger do you mean? I thought England was as ſafe a place as the Conclave here.
Ay, and ſo it was, till a parcel of ill-natur'd Dutch-Men came and ſpoil'd good Company, and made us give over Houſe-Keeping; they would, indeed, have provided a ſort of a ſcurvy Lodging for ſome of the Chief of us; but being very nice in the choice of my Appartments, I made ſhift to provide for my ſelf.
What, then I underſtand our laſt and great Pillar whereon our Intereſt in England leant is fallen, fallen, never to be recovered: And now, I'll warrant, you are come to make a lamentable Apology for the Defeat, though nothing but your own hot-headed Council ruin'd the Deſign.
May it pleaſe your Holineſs, my Endeavors and Abilities to ſerve Your Holineſs and this Court, I humbly conceive, need not a Confirmation, and —
Yes, Sir, I muſt confeſs you have ſome Qualifications of a Man for our buSir, if Impudence be the greateſt Virtue you can boaſt of, you may ſerve indeed for an Executioner, but never for a Privy Counſellor. I told you, I fear'd your hard Riding would coſt you a Fall.
Sir, with Submiſſion, all Circumſtances conſider'd, I could do no leſs, for what with the Fears on the one ſide, and Encouragements on the other, it had been Madneſs to have miſpent or loſt ſo much as one hour. Be pleaſed to conſi
Ay, Sir, but one would think a Man of Diſcretion ſhould, at leaſt, ſo manage his Projects, as that every Eye ſhould not be able to ſee their nakedneſs.
Your Holineſs has a piercing Judgment indeed: But I preſume you will not ſay, our Miſteries were liable to every eaſie Interpretation: Did not we keep up an Army, contrary to Law, with the bare pretence of the King's Martial DiſJeſuits, Monks, &c. to all Changes whatHolland to have encouraged the Taking off the Teſts, they would have ſav'd us abundance of Labour, and have been themſelves acceſſary to their Deſtruction: But the Devil ow'd us an everlaſting Chain, and I fear he has paid us home.
O dear, In nomine Patris & Filii, &c. I wonder, Sir, at your Rudeneſs to name the Devil in my Company: why, pray Sir, you ſpeak of him with as little concern, as you would of an Old Acquaintance: Pray, Sir, let us be as quiet as we can while you are here, and the Devil and you go together afterwards, if you love his Company ſo well. But, pray Sir, had not you a Politick Stroke in ano
Lord, Sir, that was my Maſter-piece, 'twas a Deſign well laid, and I do not doubt will come in Play again yet.
Oh! yes the Ground-work was good, the Foundation was laid to your hand, in a Preſident of the ſame nature, and yet you built, by your favour, but very aukardly upon it.
Nay, nay, queſtion that and take all: Pray, Sir, What can prove the Va
Yes, yes, you are in the right of it thus far, let us Talk big at leaſt, now we are Looſers eſpecially: But between you and I, there were ſuch palpable ContraNaturaliſt, or indeed Arithmetitian might have reduc'd you to a Non-plus about it.
Why truly, Sir, we had ſo many Irons in the Fire at once, that we could not diſ-engage our ſelves clearly of any of them; and, according to the Engliſh Proverb, Between two Stools we let fall the Diſh. But the firſt opportunity your Holineſs ſhall be pleaſed to grant, I ſhall endeavor to make your Holineſs ſenſible, that moſt of our Deſigns have been both Prudently laid and managed; and, that nothing but an over-ruling Providence could have defeated or ruin'd them.
Publiſhed with Allowance.
LONDON, Printed for W. D. 1688.