YOu'l pardon my Curiosity that de­sires to know wherefore there ap­pears upon your Pontificall Face such extraordinary Expressions of joy. His Holiness returned to the worthy Cardinall this answer; If my Face bears some testimonies of my Inward satisfaction and joy, I have just cause for it, for I have even now learnt a Discovery that hath been made in my time that will render my Reign most famous to all Posterity.

Pope Alexander the 6th: was over-joyed to see that in his dayes such a naked and an excellent part of the World as is America, was found out; I have far more reason to rejoyce because that in my days things of greater concernment that relate to Heaven and Happiness have been searcht out, and happily discovrred; the Holy Mass is found to be hid in a corner of holy Scripture. The Mass in holy Scripture! quoth the Cardinall full of admiration, how can that be? I know not how many have been enquiring for it there, and have turned over every page to see whether they could spy any appearance of it in that place, and as O­badiah said to Elijah concerning Ahab, There is no Nation or Kingdom (whither my Lord hath not sent to seek thee, and when they said he is not there, he took an Oath of the Kingdom and Nation that they found thee not; thus as I may say our holy men have dealt with the Scripture, and the Mass; there is scarce a page or a Verse that hath been diligently examin'd and enquired into, and when our Holy and Religious Brethren have seen no shape of the Mass in Scripture themselves, they have as it were taken an Oath from the Pro­phets and Evangelists that they found it not: but all their study & enquiry hath been hitherto to so little purpose, so that they have at last freely con­fest, [Page 2] that the Mass is only to be found in our Old storehouse of rotten Traditions: It maybe that these sacred Books were not yet neer the time of their full Delivery, or it may be that a wise and experienced Midwife was wanting till now to help into the world the birth of this great miste­ry from holy Scripture; doubtless this noted pro­duction was reserved for these happy and refined dayes; but may it please your good Holiness to tell me who is that man, or rather who is that Angel that hath made this admirable discovery? It is replied, the Pope, a secular Priest named Fa­ther Patrick, who is Invested with a rich Abbey, worth five hundred pounds a year, scituate in Bur­gundy, which I have granted unto him in conside­ration of the notable services that he hath rendred unto me amongst the English Hereticks: he hath promis'd to proceed further, and is engaged by my liberallity to be mindfull of my Interest, and I am perswaded that there is none so able to settle my Concerns in that Kingdom; for amongst the Ladies I understand that he is in an high esteem, because of the excellency of his Naturall parts; he wants no Impudency to usher him into every place, and to cause him to thrust himself into every busines, and his nose into every matter. He can also make use of pious frauds, and Religious Cheats in [Page 4] an excellent manner, and with fair promises; gain many a good proselite. I am certain there is never a famous & a noted Curtisan or Religious Votary in the Kingdom, but he hath by his subtilty drawn to me and my holy Church; Not to mention the multitudes of Irish whom he hath possest with a blind resolution of obeying my Orders, nor the simple English, that he hath bewitcht with the vain hopes of future preferment, pleasure, happi­ness, and his Ptiestly favour; I must needs acknow­ledg that he is a most admirable man to manage my Concerns with Discretion; he is no less suc­tesful as appears by his late Initmation of brin­ging to pass the totall and entire conversion of men, able to byass all things for me in that King­dom, and to promote my long designed purpose: It is true he hath lost something of his good Repu­tation amongst the silly and precise Puritans, the fantastick Protestants, by being too free of his per­son in a publick Baudy-house in Holland, and by visiting those of London too often, and more then I have allowed him: but this reputation he makes good, and raises again amongst the better sort of men, by helping them to a Whore in time of need; These things I do approve of, I have granted the liberty of such actions to all holy and Religious men of his Order, and to the rest of my Clergy, [Page 5] Clergy, for I am of my predecessors good opini­on, let St. Paul say what he will, that the most re­generate and pious Christians as well as the men of the world must and do burn with the flames of Lust, and Fornication, and may sometimes tast a little of the forbidden Fruit: I would rather have him do so, then commit Matrimony, because by this meanes he is very gracious with the ge­nerallity of brave Fellows of the Time, and he may by this proceeding be better able to do me ser­vice; for men commonly love the Religion that approves and allows the fulfilling of our desires; but when these little Piccadillos, Veniall Sins, acts of his humanity should have disgraced him, and his name amongst the sottish Vulgar that cannot un­derstand how that the things, that I permit and confirm by my example, become Vertuous when St: Peter whose Successor I am should have said the contrary, and proclaimed them to be Vices. He hath done enough to deserve our esteem for ever, for he hath found the Masse in Holy Scripture. This discovery will do us a great deal of good, it will confirm our indulgence, approve of our grants of liberty to sin; It will secure and fortifie our Monastrical Garrisons, and inspire into our noble Monks an invincible courage; It will de­feat and destroy all the enemies of our State and [Page 6] Kingdom, 1 Cor. 3. 15. In a word, I am in hopes that this new and seasonable discovery will furnish me with that by which I shall be able to maintain the Authority of St. Peter's Keyes in the World, to enlarge my vast Dominions, to embellish the palaces of pleasure where Peter took his delight, and where I have caus'd his name to be engraven as testimones that I have them from him to en­crease my Guards that are not neer so numerous as those that did wait upon St. Peter when he went from place to place to publish the Gos­pel to maintain his Triple Crown that In the Castle of St. Angelo and elsewhere St. Peter's Name is engra­ven. he hath left me in possession. It is very well quoth the Cardinal if it be true; but I am in doubt whether it be so, and that when the discovery be examin'd, it will be found as vaine and groundless as your Temporall power upon those words, here are two Swords, or your Holinesses preeminency and Infallibility up­on that other Text, It shall lead you into all truth, for your Holiness knows as you did lately avow, that unless your possession were stronger, and more aparant than your Right, you should never obtaine what you now enjoy. Your Holiness is obliged to the Ignorance of the Times, and the sharpness of your Sword for your Dignity, Infal­libility [Page 7] and Papal power, and not to any weak Text of holy Scripture. It is true answered the Pope, but this discovery is not to be doubted of, and Father Patrick hath convinced me by sending to me a Bible turn'd into French by the Doctors of Lorrain printed at Paris 1664. for in the 3 ch. verse 2. of Acts, these blessed words are to be read of the Apostles saying Mass to the Lord; Al­though this Translation be in French, it is no less useful to England, for that Nation naturally loves, admires, and embraces whatsoever appears to them in a French garb and countenance let it be never so rediculous. It is easie to put the words into English as I understand Father Patrick hath already done, and confirmed it by the Translati­on of the English Jesuites of Rheims, who have done something more, for they have very well mingled their holy Gloss with the obscure Text of Scripture, so that we may with ease find in it all our Doctrines in express words. Sure saith the Cardinal, this Father Patrick hath most excel­lent Spectacles of an admirable temper, seeing they have made him perceive things altogether Invisi­ble, for I have often read that passage, but I must needs confess my dulness, and the dimness of my sight, and my Ignorance. I could never per­ceive any such thing, nor Imagine that the words [Page 8] could be so Translated, for I find in the Greek Text [...], where I have always Imagined that the Word [...] did signifie to Minister, and serve: Now the service and Mini­stry Intended is to be known only by the circum­stances of the Discourse; the Latine Translations do thus render the words, Ministrantibus illis Do­mino, and the Version of Louvain in French, Eux servans en leur Ministere au Seigneur, that is, they serving in their Ministry to the Lord: the very Sequel of St. Lukes discourse discovers what he means by this service, and the Ministration, for he speaks of certain persons, amongst whom were Barnabas, and Paul, that whiles they were, [...], ministring unto the Lord, when they had Fasted, the Holy Ghost warned them to separate from them Barnabas and Paul for the work unto which he had called them; therefore he adds, when they had fasted and prayed, they laid their hands upon them, and sent them away; where the words when they had fasted and prayed, do sufficiently discover the end and accomplish­ment of the Ministration attributed unto these men. From whence we may easily conclude, that St. Luke understands by their prayer and fasting, acts of Devotion, the accomplishmnt of what he had spoken of, when he tells of these persons, [Page 9] that they were [...]. The Syrian Tran­slation and the Arabick do discover the Evange­lists meaning, for they have rendred these words, [...], whilst they were praying; be­sides, we may consider the quality and employ­ments of these men concerned, St. Luke tells us that they were Prophets and Doctors; It is there­fore to be supposed that when he sayes that they were [...] and Fasting, that they were employ­ed about the Functions and Offices proper to their Callings; that is, they did minister unto the Lord by prophecying and teaching, and that afterwards they did Fast and pray to obtain Gods blessing up­on their Labours and Teaching. I am certain Cajetan favours this Interpretation, for he speaks thus upon this Text: The nature of their service and ministry is not here mentioned, but because St. Luke names them Prophets and Deacons▪ we are to understand that their Ministry was perfor­med by teaching, and preaching. Untill this moment, may it please your Holiness, I was of the opinion of Cajetan, that these words do represent the Apostles employed about the duties of their Function, and that they did minister to the Lord by teaching and preaching the word to the peo­ple, by administring the Sacraments, and by other acts of piety and devotion. I beseech your Ho­liness [Page 10] to make me understand more perfectly this discovery, and how this Reverend Priest hath found the Mass in these words, and wherefore he hath given to them this Interpretation: I can't very well tell you replyed the Pope. I don't much trouble my self to understand the Scripture, nor to seek into the Original Text: You know very well that these sacred books have no better nor more Honourable place assigned them in our publick Assemblies, but my footstool, for I am above all Holy Scripture; I must not therefore so much abase my self and my dignity to pry and search into it with too much curiosity, as if I were to depend only upon that: but Il' tell you as I conceive, how he comes to make this good Dis­covery: He is by profession one of my Priests, whose employment is daily to Transubstantiate the Bread and the Wine into the Body and Blood of Christ. By degrees he is become such an ex­cellent Artist in the Mistery of Transubstantiation, that he hath found out an expedient how to Tran­substantiate also this and other passages of Ho­ly Scripture, and change the words Ministring unto the Lord, into these, saying Mass unto the Lord. I am very well pleased with his Ingenuity, and no body must think this proceeding strange, for if he hath the power to transform, and cause a [Page 11] metamorphosis of solid substance, and turn Bread and Wine into other things of so great a disparity as flesh, bones, and blood; It is no won­der if Father Patrick, this Ingenious Priest, hath also transformed and changed one expression into ano­ther, if he can by his breath alone make the glo­rious Body of Christ now ascended up into Hea­ven, to be found in a few Crums of Bread, and a few drops of Wine. Why may not Patrick by the same art cause the Holy Mass to be found al­so in a passage of holy Scripture where it was never before. If he can so far command him who is named the Word to come down from Heaven, as often as he pleaseth, he may with more ease obliege him to speak what, and when he listeth. In the Word [...] he hath met with a motive that hath Incited him to this perform; this metamorphosis for he hath met with certain happy Spirits of the Primitive World, who have Informed him that in the Council of Chalcedon this word [...] was Interpreted by saying Mass; therefore the Coun­cil furnishes him with an excellent proof, upon which he depends much, because in the Actr of this Council the Word [...] is Translated by a La­tine. Author facere-missas, perform Masses as Juli­an tells us, who himself was of that Councill; And because this word is so to be understood in [Page 12] the deeds of this Council, therefore it hath the same signification by very good reason in the Acts of the Apostles. Don't you think that this reaso­ning is right and good? I admire quoth the Car­dinal the subtilty of this Priest, but I am afraid that some damned Heretick will draw from this kind of reasoning advantages against us, and as such kind of people do already say, that we affirm of our Mass, that it is not what it appears to be, that appears Bread, but that it is nothing less then Bread? so they will talk of this passage Translated by Father Patrick, that it is not what it seems to be: That in appearance the Mass is in the Tran­slation, but in the Original there is no shape of the Mass to be seen. They will also say that the arguing from the Interpretation of the Word [...] found in the Acts of the Counsel of Chal­cedon is not just, nor reasonable, for a word may have a different signification in Ages so much at a distance from one another, for that Counsel was held 400 years after the Apostles: besides these Hereticks may say, that the word Missa, Mass, that was then lately found out, has since in this Age changed its signification; for it is with the Mass as with men, their Faces differ before they come to an age of understanding, look upon a man in his Chilhood, and consider him afterwards in his old [Page 13] Age, and you shall searce know him, so it is with this Name; If you look upon it in its first rise, and afterwards take notice of it in the glorious appea­rance that hath been given to it in these last Ages, and you will scarce believe them to be the same, you will find a strange alteration: It may be said of the Mass as of Noahs Ark, and Theseus Ship that it was the same, and yet not the same, for the let­ters, syllables, and pronunciation is the same, but the use and signification is not the same; then it did signifie the dismission of the people, or the leave to depart out of the Congregation granted to the Catechumenes who were dismist after Sermon, or to the Rest of the Faithful sent away after the Ad­ministration of the Sacraments at the end of Di­vine Service; Then they did say, Facere missum Catechumenis, or Facere missum fidelibus, that is to dismiss the Catechumenes, or the Faithful: this word did then signifie generally all the publick Service of God, at the end of which this dismissi­on was thus performed, Missa est. So that then they called the publick Prayers of the Church the rea­ding and preaching of the Word of God, and the administration of the Sacraments by the Name of Mass; these things Bellarmin▪ hath confest. Since the word is strangely changed to signifie the holy Sacrament of the Altar which is, now its ordinary [Page 14] meaning, Some therefore may say, that in the Translation of the Counsel of Chalcedon to ex­press the word [...] it was never employed in the meaning that Reveend Father Patrick em­ployes it in the 3 chap. of the Acts; but doubt­less this excellent Abbot so well kill'd in Trans­mutation can solve all the difficulties that may be made against him, and his Interpretation. But what benefit doth your Holiness imagine that we receive from this bold attempt of Father Patrick? I conceive that he may have well encreased: the glory of the Mass by raising it upon such a noble Throne, and placing it to be seen upon the The­atre of Holy Scriptures. He doth also by this meanes discover its profound Antiquity, for it seems to be far more ancient than Christ and his holy Apostles, for he may easily prove by this Word, that all the Priests under the Law did say Mass very reverendly as well as the Briests under Luke 1. 23. the Gospel; for St. Luke tells us that Za­chary had accomplisht [...], which we must for the time to come Translate, The dayes of his saying Mass. And St Paul represents Mo­ses sprinking the blood upon [...] Heb: 9. 21. [...], which we must also render thus, All the Vessels employed in saying Mass. In the same place Heb. 10. 11 the Apostle tells us that every Priest did [Page 15] daily [...], that is according to this good Tran­slation Say Mass: and elsewhere he discovers how Christ doth continually say Mass in Heaven, for in the same Ep. to the Heb. he tells us, that we have an high Priest that is seated at the right hand of the throne of the Majesty of God in Heaven, [...], that means saying Mass in the Holy places. I conceive that the Holy Angels are Christs Deacons and Clarks in Heaven to answer him, because in the same Epistle they are named [...]: we are to understand by these words, Spirits that say Mass. Your Holiness that hath communication with Heaven may know something more of these Hea­venly matters: Well replyed the Pope, we have just cause to expect the speedy conversion of all the Hereticks, and if Father Patrick hath boasted of having made many a good Proselyte, and turned them from protestantisme to popery, although it was then but a Lye, he may have said so by the spitit of prophecy, such kind of deceits and false­hoods are to be considered and excused as so ma­ny pious frauds design'd to bring back to the pro­fession of the truth the poor deluded Hereticks; for my part I conceive that he did foresee the con­version of all those people that will now doubt­less embrace my Faith and profession, for they have often promised to come to Mass if we can but [Page 16] shew them the Mass in Holy Scripture. Now they must of necessity acknowledg it to be there, mau­ger all their obstinacy, we may therefore hope to see whole troops of men return again to the bo­som of my Holy Church. If after so clear a con­vict on, and this undeniable discovery there be any so obstinate as to shut their eyes, and refuse to ac­knowledg the Mass, I will thunder against him from my Vatican, and send him to Hell before his time: For my part I find quoth the Cardinal that he hath much oblieged the Civil Magistrates and Princes in giving this meaning to the word [...], for we must now look upon them as persons who have liberty to say Mass, for St. Paul names them [...], that is according to this new signifi­cation, Singers, or bablers of Masses unto God Now I think of it, all our Roman Religion is mightily obliged to him, for he hath shewn us an expedi­ent how to confirm all the Doctrines of our Holy Church without much difficulty, in placing them in express words in Holy Scripture. We may now seek the passages that have any colour of such Do­ctrines, and Translate them according to this good model of Father Patrick, for example Christ Mat. 16. 18. said to St. Peter in the Gospel, Thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my Church; there we maintain that Christ hath granted and e­stablished [Page 17] the Popes Authority upon Peter, and his Successors. But because these words are not so plain and clear for our purpose as we could well wish, why may not we make it plainer, and Tran­slate it in express words that may confute all the Hereticks in this manner, Thou art Pope, and upon this pope I will build my Church. Your Fancy quoth the Pope is very good, and makes much for our purpose. Doubtless all Christendom admires the wit and piety of this Ingenious Father, and de­sires that he may be well rewarded for his worth and cunning; we shall have our Court thronged with the Embassadors of several Princes to sue for his promotion and reward; for my part I am al­ready very much enclined to grant to Father Pa­trick my most special Favours, I do at present free him from the troublesom Visit of purgatory after his Decease, and Decree that his Soul may leap directly into Heaven without stop or hindrance: We have granted this priviledge to many that are not so deserving as this most Reverend Father, and it is but reason that he should obtain this benefit from the Mass, seeing that he hath been so great a Friend to her. We commonly say Mass to free poor Souls from the flames of purgatory, and to draw them into a more temperate and more plea­sant abode, why may not the Mass from which he [Page 18] hath deserv'd a good Reward hinder him from en­tring into this Incommodious burning? I will al­so reward him in his life-time, I will enoble his pate with a Cardinals Cap, I conceive his head is bigg enough, and of a sise able to bear this Cove­ring with a bon meen: When his Holiness had ut­tered these words, he began to bethink himself, and muse upon what he had said; well quoth he, rub­bing and shaking his head, there is something comes into my mind that damps all my affections, for Father Patrick this subtle Wit that hath found the Mass in Holy Writ, contrary to all appea­rance, may also by chance find by his cunning and working fancy how to make Father Patrick a Pope, and by this means pull me out of my seat, and tumble me down of my Throne as an unlawfull Pope. This apprehension sinks into my mind do what I can, and spoils all the affection that I had conceived for this Father, so that a small matter might cause me to undertake his Destruction. As the Cardinal was opening his Lips to return an an­swer; in steps a Gentleman of the popes Bed­chamber to acquaint his Holiness that there were without a croud of persons that did most passio­nately entreat for audience of his good Holiness. When the pope had commanded them to come in; e found them to Be some of his Well-wisher [Page 19] that came to advertise him of a great Tumult that had hapned in the Vatican Church between two comely Ladies; the one named her self Vulgata Latim, the other was named Madam Franca Ver­sio of the City of Louvain, two persons of very good account; as they were at their Devotions they quarrell'd with that Fury, that they were ready to tear one another to pieces: Madam Vul­gata required the precedency, because she had been enobled by the Council of Trent; and could shew a very authentick patent for her Nobility; but Madam Franca Versio could produce no such An­tiquity, but pretended that she was to have the pre­cedency of the former; because she had been eno­bled, dignified, and blessed with a most Divine Berne a She-beauty, esteemed and admired all o­ver the World as a Goddess, she being the only Mother that had bore in her Womb such a Cele­stial production as the Goddess Missa: She resol­ved not to yeild an ace to her Sister Madam Vulga­ta Latina, but to dispute the preeminency and the predency with her to the uttermost; and the ra­ther, because she was backt and assisted by all her Countrymen, who did not much favour Madam Latina, because they understood not her speech. As soon as these persons had represented the case to his Holiness, the door being open, in steps an [Page 20] old Roman Lady my Lady Tradition, she was at­tired as the Gibeonites are represented in holy Scripture when they came to make peace with the Children of Israel at their entrance into the pro­mised Land; her Gown was old and moth-eaten, her shoes patcht with many old pieces, her face painted with many wrinkles, her food was dry bread, and mouldy bisket, all her Garments did bespeak her to be but a durty, nasty, loathsom, and old Joane; nevertheless she received the Respects of all the company at her entrance, because she did look with a grave countenance, and affect such marks and liveries of Antiquity and Age, although she was but young, and of a late Birth, she accessed his Holiness without any Ceremony, because she was very well known to him, and familiar with him, she had tutered him, and did yet furnish him with very good directions. This Lady Tradition with a grim and sad countenance soon burst forth into bitter complaints against Father Patrick the French Abbot, and the Irish Priest for having com­mitted a most unjust robbery and rape, and de­baucht and carried away from her dwelling one of her best and most beautiful Guests my Lady Missa: she represented to his Holiness that he had just cause to fear further Injuries and wrongs from this Father, and that she was afraid lest he should [Page 21] also debauch her other Guests, and perswade them to leave her desolate, and by that means take away all her livelihood and being for without them she is not able to subsist. As she was opening the Case, and accusing of Father Patrick, all her Guests or Lodgers came into the Room together to make also their several complaints, and assist their old Landlady in her accusation. The Marquess of Pur­gatory with all his Attendants went formost The Count Meritum, and Viscount Free will with a long Train of Followers, fill'd the Room where his Holiness was. These Noble Persons that I have named are all Officers of our mother the Ho­ly Church of Rome: The Marquess of Purgatory is the great Purveyor and principal Cook, to him it belongs to see that the Pot may boil well, Count Meritum is the great Treasurer of the Ca­tholick Church; for he hath in his custody all the Riches and Treasures by which he intends to pur­chase the Kingdom of Heaven. Viscount Free-will is the Fac-totum, or Governour of the House, he is the Porter or Usher to introduce or shut out whom he pleaseth. He is also the Steward & Controller of the mother Church for he disposeth of all at his pleasure. He is a capricious and humersome Knave; never­theless the Catholick Church i [...] very well pleased with his services, and cannot be perswaded to leave [Page 22] him. Assoon as my Lord Marquess of Purgatory appeared, every mothers son in the Room began to tremble for fear; for he was cloathed with a fiery Garb most terrible to the eye, out of his mouth burst forth flashes of extraordinary fire, so that every one made room to him, and was afraid to come near him; but when the spectators had well view­ed him, they perceived that his terrible Counte­nance had nothing of reality, and that this fire, and the seeming flames were the effects only of their deluded imagination My Lord; merit was clad in such a Garb, and appeared with such a pleasant mean, that he was more able to move laughter than fear, for he seemed to be proud and high­minded: His Countenance, Behaviour and Cou­rage was much like that of a French Coxcomb, or of a proud and stately Spaniard. He did blow and puff as a man out of breath, and with Eyes full of contempt he did speak to every one; Isa. 65. 1. Come not near me for I am more holy than thou: In his hand he held a large Purse full of good Coun­ters with which men do commonly reckon with God Almighty to see how much he is in their debt. My Lord, Free-will appeared in another Attire; and Behaviour, not so ridiculous, but no less ex­travagant; for his inconstancy and unsetled Cou­rage did make him appear very simple; for he stood [Page 23] now upon one ley then upon another. He had got a Switzers Garbe and Attire, of several Co­lours, to express the diversity and variableness of our Free-will, but that which was most remarka­ble in his appearance was, that he had got a Stee­ple upon his head that did bear a Cross, with a VVether-cock on the top, to represent how that in the business of our Salvation signified by the Cross. It was in his power to turn himself any ways. At first all these Noble Lords were ready to enter in­to a cruel dispute, and quarrel, because they all pre­tended to the priviledge of speaking first, my Lord Marquess had a large & wide mouth, as great as that of an Oven, and much heat to animate his discourse; and therefore a greater advantage to speak first, than the rest: my Lord, merit did produce his worth and excellency; and therefore that he de­served to be the spokesman, my Lord Free-will alledged, that merit was indebted to him for the advantages by which he pretended to the priviledge of speaking first; for there could be no merit with­out Free-will. To please 'um all, the Pope com­manded 'um to speak all together, and told 'um that he was well able to understand all their dis­courses together: That although he appeared but with one Head, he had got one that was worth many, for it was able to bear three Crowns, That [Page 24] it were to do him wrong to fancy that he had less ability than the Beast of the Revelations that had Seven Heads, and therefore could understand the Speeches of seven persons: And that as he was the Head of the Church, he must needs have this power of an Head to understand the com­plaints, and feel the griefs of several members at once when they endure pain, when the Pope had granted to them this permission, and leave to speak all at once, every one began to declare their com­plaints to this effect: That Father Patrick had done them all the greatest injury that could be, by divorcing and carrying away the Mass their dear Companion from them: That they had long lodged together peaceably, with much unity and love, at the Palace of my Noble Lady, my Lady Traditio: That to part with their Companion, they could as well part with Heart and Soul and there­fore that they did reckon that Father Patrick had done them a notable prejudice to place the Mass in Holy Scripture without them: That they had as good reason to pretend to that Honour as well as she, for there be some places of Holy Scri­pture that favour as much their being, as that place doth the Mass. The Marques of Purgatory al­ledg'd a passage of the first of Corinthians, where these words are to be found, 1 Cor. 3. 15. VVh [...] are saved as by fice, why said he may not one add to the [Page 25] translantion, by the fire of Purgatory. Meritum brought forth a passage of the Revelations, where the persons are mentioned, Rev. 3. 4. VVhom God will cause to walk in white Cloathing, because they are worthy. He desired that one might render the words, because they do merit it. My Lord Free will fan­cied that the passage of Denteronomy made for him, where God told the Children of Israel, Deut. 36. 40. That tbe VVord was near them in their mouth, and in their Heart to do it: vvherefore said he may not vve translate it, is in thy Free-vvill to do it: Therefore every one of them did conclude that his Holiness must needs, if he will deal impartially, do of two things one, ei­ther restore the Mass to its old Lodging, and former Camerades, or grant to them to dwell with her un­der the same Roof In the heat of the dispute they fell from reasons to threatnings against his Holiness in case that they did not receive due satisfaction; for the Marques of Purgatory threatned to be even with his Holiness when his Soul should enter into his Dominions, if he did not grant his desire and do Justice; for he that frees others by his authori­ty from burning in Purgatory, cannot exempt him­self from those Torments. Therefore he threat­ned to cast so much Brimstone, and combustible matter into the scorching Flames, that he would increase the heat in such a manner, that he should [Page 26] have first cause to repent. Meritum threatned him, that if he did not do as he desired, that he would for­sake his person: So that without his assistance, he should be without means of ever arriving to Hea­ven, or entring into that place of bliss. My Lord, Free-wil freely declared to him, that unless he ob­tained his Request, he should fall into such fits of Melancholy, that he would leave the humane So­ciety: So that they might by that means, become Jansenists, that are near related the Calvinists the Popes sworn Enemies. This last threatning did not much trouble his Holiness, because he knew that the Viscounts Pate was full of Quick­silver and Whimsey, therefore never setled in its resolutions. He knew also that he would never do any thing in favour of the Calvinists, because they are an envious Generation of men, that won't allow him his Titles of Honour, but have often at­tempted to cut off his Head, and when they could not perform that, they have reduced and condemed him to slavery & perpetual bondage; but the threat­nings of the rest terrified the poor Pope. As he was thinking what was best to be done, he hears a lit­tle Bell coming in, and my Lady Mass in person followed immediately after. This dainty Dame that never goes a foot, nor treads upon the slimy ground, was carryed by a Cardinal Priest. She can [Page 27] ride very well on Horseback, for in the solemn processions at Rome she is commonly moun­ted upon a white Horse; but in this occasion she could not make use of such a carriage, for she was forced to come up staires to the Pope; when all the Assistants beheld my Lady Mass, they wondered wherefore she was come, they began to look one upon another, to see which of the company was so sick as to need my Lady to comfort him: the Priest that carried her soon sa­tisfied them by addressing himself to the Pope in my Ladies name in this manner; Great Vicar, and Lieutenant of God, visible Head of the Universal Catholick Church, most powerful God on Earth, I come to demand Justice of the Insolency, im­pudency, and temerity of Father Patrick, who hath basely ravisht, and against my will carried me away by plaine force from my house and home, to cause me to dwell in a strange place. I was very well satisfied in my old Lodgings in my Lady Traditi­o's place; nothing was there wanting to my per­son or dignity, for my Lady is very well provided with all necessaries, and is most complizant to all her Guests. I confess that Holy Scripture is an Ho­nourable dwelling indeed; but this Fellow hath appointed me there such an Incommodious Abode that I protest I can stay there no lon­ger, [Page 28] I am confined to this narrow Lease [...], where I am so ill accomodated, that I am in danger to fall down at every moment, whereas before I was seated upon a Throne at my pleasure, where I had elbow-room enough. This Block-head has imagined that I should be here better plac'd, and better able to convince all Hereticks, whereas it is here that I am meekest, and not able so much as to defend my self. I may say as David, when he took upon him Sauls Armor to encoun­ter with Goliah, I can't walk with all this, for I am not used to 'um. Thus I may say, that it is altogether Impossible that I should make use of this passage to overcome the Hereticks, because I am not used to it: Besides, as I am there plac'd without Gods approbation, and contrary to all reason, and since I am therefore there against my will, and have as much reason to complain as Absalom when he was brought from Gessur to Jerusalem, where he had not the liberty to see King David, Wherefore am I come from Gessur? it was better for me to remain there still. Moreover, he hath put me there all naked, without my orna­ments, without my Alba Girdle, S [...]ola Cope, &c. and such-like Vestments that became my dignity, whereas I had all this attire in my former habita­tion: All such as shall see me here, will imagine [Page 29] that I have a great delight to make my abode wherever the word [...] is to be found, and there­fore they will imagine such things as become not my quality and grandeur; for example when St. Paul sayes to the Phillipians, ch. 2. V. 30. [...], they will Infer from thence, That I am to be delivered, and offered up by the Im­pure hands of Laymen, as well as by the holy Priests. Thus when St. Paul saith to the Romans, [...]. Some may think that I am re­duc'd and rankt amongst impure and carnal things such as are given by men in Almes: This fellow hath also lodged me at a strange house and dwel­ling without the leave of the Landlords and own­ers; for he hath plac'd me in the Translation of the Doctors of Louvain, who never thought to place me there, for they have Translated this pas­sage into words that don't discover any shadow of the Mass. I have also reason to complain that I am there lodg'd in an unworthy manner, for he makes me passe but for a Discourse, whereas I am in truth a glorious Sacrifice offered to God for the benefit of the quick and the dead, for he repre­sents me in these words, They saying Mass unto the Lord, wheras he should have said, They offering Mass up to the Lord; for these reasons I am become a scorn to the Hereticks, and a reproach and shame to the good Catholicks. At Paris Reverend Doctors of the Sorbonne do in no wise approve of this bold at­tempt, [Page 30] and will scarce take notice of me in this corner; I do therefore desire that by your Autho­rity you will take me from this place, and lodge me where I was wont before. And I did desire that you would inflict upon this Impudent Priest the punishment that his audacity deserves. When my Lady Mass had ended her Speech, the Pope that had been dis-satisfied with Patricks proceedings, soon granted the Requests of all the Assistants: Therefore he returned this answer to my Lady Missa, Great and Admirable Sacrament of the Al­tar, Divine Mass, I grant that thou shouldest re­turn to thy former Abode; And I further Decree, that Father Patrick shall make thee all just amends and satisfaction for thy disgrace. I do also de­clare him to have forfeited his Offices and privi­ledges, and that he is become unworthy ever to say Mass again, or to enjoy any Ecclesiastical Dig­nity; I do therefore enjoyn him as a Penance, that he shal Whip his Bomfiddle twice every day, that he shall never drink any thing but Water whilst he lives, but not to reduce him to utter de­spair; I leave to his choice to take Holy, or Com­mon Water at his pleasure; and I allow him to make use of an Whore when he hath occasion.

Reader, Take heed of the Hypocrisie and Cunning of the Romish Emissaries. VALE.