ADVICE TO A Young Lord.
INTRODƲCTION.
I AM not ignorant that there are many Tracts of late years writ [Page 4]concerning these very Subjects I now design to treat of; yet, I must confess, have most of them been writ with a particular intention to their own Relations, and 'tis therefore the most probable reason that they are not of such general use and observation. [Page 5]Others I am apt to think are designed out of presumptuous ambition of exceeding, by imitation, such rare Examples as went before them, in the accessions of Wit, and Elegant Discourses, very often discoloured with Urbane and Facete [Page 6]Prophaneness. I do acknowledge, 'tis a singular, and the right way of transmitting a Man's Memory to Posterity, especially his own: The first of which I disesteem, in Comparison of the latter, because I believe 'twill not be by them observ d, [Page 7]so much as 'twill by the other be respected.
You are now to be separated for some time from me, and the greatest Consolation I have in your absence left me, is the Confidence I have in the Learning and Abilities [Page 8]of your Tutor, as also in your good nature in complying to follow his Directions, which I am sure will be very reasonable.
'Tis not my doubting of your Tutor (for if I did, I should never have committed [Page 9]you, the thing I prize and value above any in the World, to his care) But to shew you how tender I am of, and what concern I take in your wellfare, has been the occasion, and reason which moved me to give you my particular Advice in these several [Page 10]Subjects; thinking withall, that these my Admonitions may be the more Sacred with, and esteemed by you, coming from one whom Nature, and the Indulgence I have ever shewn you, obliges to reverence and respect. And I must [Page 11]confess, I have as yet no reason to think that you'll be deficient in your Duty, or frustrate the expectations that I, and all your Relations and Friends have conceived of you.
The better to imprint in your [Page 12]Memory what I think fit at present to advertise you of, I shall use a distinct Method, and divide my Discourse into several Heads; and first of Religion.
Of RELIGION.
RELIGION, my dearest Child, is the greatest Concern we have upon us in this World, our Eternal happiness in the next depending on it; and for that reason ought to be the director of all our Actions. I cannot therefore use my Paternal Authority to better purpose, than in adjuring, and straitly charging and requiring you to be constant and zealous in the Religion Established in this Kingdom. Not that I forbid you to make [Page 14]enquiry into it, to see if in all Points it agrees with the revealed Will of God; but rather Exhort you to't, for I had rather you would make it your choice, than to take it upon Credit. The best Religion is a good Life, and the securest fence against Temptation. 'Twas the Advice of a Great and Prudent Statesman to his Son,Sir. H. Sidney's Advice to his Son Sir Phil. That his first Action should be the lifting up his hands and mind to Almighty God in Prayer, and feelingly to digest the words he uttered; with continual Meditation, and thinking of him to whom he spake; and to use this at an ordinary hour, that the time it self [Page 15]might put him in remembrance to do that thing he was accustomed to do at that time. This Advice I would you should receive from me, and I desire no better return and obedience from you in this Affair, than what was made by the Person it was first directed to. Let your thoughts in the Morning be what you have to do that day, for which crave God's Blessing and Protection; and at Night be sure you omit not to return thanks, and recollect in your thoughts what you have done, for which you must implore his Pardon. Use all your endeavours to suppress sinful thoughts and desires, while they are weak and impotent, that if greater temptations [Page 16]present themselves, you may be the better able to resist them, and by using your self, and delighting in doing good, it will at length prove habitual. 'Tis an Old Saying, Nemo repentè fuit turpissimus, Juvenal. & holds good in the contrary, for no Man is good on a sudden, but as he has been inured to good works. Adeo in teneris assuescere multum est. Virgil. Thus I'm confident you have been Educated, which with your Virtuous Inclinations, puts me in comfort and assurance that you'll never degenerate.
Let no advantage in the World tempt you to be wicked at any time; for you know 'tis [Page 17]an Old Saying, He that will once be wicked for his advantage, will be always so, if his Interest require it.
If any thing in Religion disturbs you, consult an able Physician of the Gospel, and not depend too much on your own Reading; which yet I would have be so much, as not to be imposed upon by any man. Diversity in any thing distracts the mind, and leaves it wavering in a dubious perplexity; and then how easie 'tis to sway the mind to either side, the most Elegant Comedian will inform you. Dum indubio est, animus paulo momento huc & illuc impellitur: This is most true in Religion; you must therefore obfirmate your Ears, [Page 18]and confirm your Judgment, being once satisfied in the excellency of your Profession.
Neither would I have you only fixt and constant in your Religion, but also very Devout (which is the chiefest thing) in the practice of it; and also remember this, that he that is not truly Religious, will hardly be esteemed such, since nothing is of less continuance than Hypocrisie and Dissimulation; and if your Religion be such, such will your Honour be, (viz.) a feigned thing, and a meer shadow. The Observance of Religion does become none more than Noble and Illustrious Persons; other Glories have lifted them beyond the [Page 19]pitch and reach of Men, but this is a Ray of the Divinity, which advances them near to the Deity, and, like a Diamond, out-shines the lustre of all other Jewels. A Religious Heart, and a clear Conscience, will make you truly conspicuous; it is as the Mother of all other Virtues.
What brave Effects of Obedience to Princes has it wrought in Subjects? Look back to the Primitive Times, how Couragious were they in all Enterprizes, hardy and resolute in dangers, liberal to the Necessitous, ready and willing to do their utmost endeavour in the distrest Affairs of the Empire! and all this from one pious Principle, that [Page 20]in serving their Prince, they served God, whose Lieutenant he is; nor was there any difficulty over which their Faith did not triumph; and I charge you to make your duty to your Soveraign one of the chief Points of your Religion, so far forth as may consist with your obedience to God, and the Laws of your Nation, which ought to be served best, and in the first place; yet there is such a reciprocation between both these Services, that they commonly go together.
He that keeps himself strictly to the observation of the Divine Laws, cannot err in the Humane; and he that is a good Servant of God, will never be an ill Subject to his Prince.
'Tis a Maxime of State, That where Princes and People are of a different Religion, they will not very well agree; yet Modern Experience, since the Reformation arrived to a settled constitution of Church Government, evinces the contrary, as at present in Germany, and our own Kingdom of England. Cherish and maintain the Ministers of the Gospel, especially Pious and Learned Preachers. Nothing brings more contempt upon the Religion and service of God, in the eyes of the Vulgar, than the necessities, wants, and miseries of Church-Men; what esteem you reflect upon them, will redound and reflect upon your self again. What the Heathen said of their Poets, That [Page 22]by their Means and Writings, Famous Men were transmitted to Posterity, and Immortality, who otherwise would have lain in perpetual Oblivion, is very true of Evangelical Doctors; their Prayers, Instructions, and Recommendations of you, together with your own Holiness, is the only Fame and Glory, will transmit and place you hereafter in Heaven, and Establish you here living and dead, in the good will and praise of all good and Charitable Persons. Let Charity be a chief Ingredient in your Religion,In all things preserve a good Intention without which, no good Action can be performed, vid. Sen. de Beneficis. c. 1. both in Giving, and Forgiving; as you have Abilities, Indulge the Poor, and let them in some [Page 23]measure partake with you in your outward Blessings and Enjoyments.
For the other, as you are always liable to Offences, to be always as apt and prone to pardon and pass them by, which in the greatest Adversities you can undergo, will never be out of your power to do.
Frequent your Chappel, and the Houses of God, let no Business invade or intrude upon your Religious hours; what you have destined to the service of God, is already Sacred to him, and cannot without great Profaneness be alienated from him, and conferred upon others.
For other Duties necessary [Page 24]for a Christian's Practice, I refer you to the Discipline and Instructions of the Church, thinking it needless to repeat them here, which are so exactly laid down by her, which I esteem the purest Truth.
For search all Religions through the World, and you will find none that ascribes so much honour to God, nor constitutes a more firm Love among Men, as does the Establisht Doctrine of the Protestant Church amongst us. In whose Arms I leave you and her to the everlasting protection of God Almighty.
Of Study and Exercises.
OF STƲDY I shall be more brief and compendious, because I have wholly as to this Affair committed you to the Conduct of your Tutor; but yet, hoping that my Advice may be of some use to you after your leaving the University, I shall lay before you these few directions.
1st. That you make it a great part of your care not to spend your time in frivolous Niceties, such as the study of Criticisme may be, which is not unfitly termed by one, difficiles Nugae, & stolidus labor Ineptiarum, but always propose [Page 26]an end to your self in your Studies, according to that Old Rule Respice finem. For it will be an instance of great Prudence in you, to study things which may be of solid use; whereas now the whole Province of Learning is infested with frivolous disputations, and nice and vain Impostures.
The best part of your study will be to read such Books as are most pleasing to you, and you can study no Science better than what treats of the knowledge of your self, and instructs you how to live and die well.
Therefore I say the usefulness ought in your Studies to be most observed or respected, since 'tis a strong evidence of weak Judgment, when Men [Page 27]approve of things for their being rare and new, or yet for the difficulty, where Virtue and Usefulness are not conjoyned to recommend them.
But though the studying only to pass away time, be a most inept Curiosity, and mis-becoming active and generous Spirits, yet you must so order your Studies, that you make them subservient to the Concerns of your Honour, Estate, and Interest, and that they intrench upon no time which should be better imployed, either in the Service of God, or your Prince.
Your vacant and leisure hours you cannot better impend upon any thing than Books and Meditation, nay, [Page 26] [...] [Page 27] [...] [Page 28]there is a necessity of making such leisure time, if the multiplicity of business press too fast upon you, remembring that of a Great Emperour, whose Affairs were not only urgent, but full of trouble in a new attained Empire. Nulla dies sine linea, he would not let a day sl [...]p without some improvement in Studies. Your own choice and Judgment will direct both what Books to read, and what Science chiefly to apply your self to, though I think it Pedantical, and unworthy a Person of Honour, to be Excellent in any one, it seems as ridiculous as Nero's mad Ambition of being esteemed the chief Fidler, and best Songster in the World, whom Petronius Arbiter, a Roman [Page 29]Knight, excellently describes in his Satyricon, under the Name of Eumolpus.
History, and the Mathematicks, I think are the most proper and advantageous Studies for Persons of your Quality, the other are fitter for Schoolmen, and People that must live by their Learning, though a little insight and tast of them will be no burthen or inconvenience to you, especially Natural Philosophy; which next to the two I mentioned above, I should give the preheminence to: As to the Laws of the Kingdom, I reckon them not a particular Study, for they must be your constant practice; your place as to Executory will instruct you, and as to the pleading part of them [Page 30]'tis below you. Keep always an able Scholar for the Languages in your house, besides your Chaplain, who may be ready at hand to read to you out of any Book your fancy or judgment shall for the present pitch upon, him you'll find to be of singular use and advantage to you, and you ought therefore to give him Salary accordingly. Think no Cost too much in purchasing rare Books, which I esteem next to acquiring good Friends; but buy them not to lay by, or to grace your Library with the name of such a M. S. or such a singular Piece, but read, revolve him, and lay him up in your memory, where he will be far the better Ornament.
Read seriously what ever is [Page 31]before you, and reduce and digest it to Practice and Observation, otherwise you'll have Sysiphus his labour, to be always revolving Sheets and Books at every new Occurence, which may require the Oracle of your reading. Trust not to your Memory, but put all remarkable and notable things that shall in your reading occur to you, sub salva Custodia of Pen and Ink, but so alter the property by your own Scholia and Annotations on it, that your memory may speedily recur to the place it was committed to. Review frequently such Memorandums, which will inform you what progress and proficiency you have made in what-ever sort of Studies you have applyed your [Page 32]self to. After your Studies give your mind some relaxation, by generous Exercises, but never use them after fulness, sleep, or oscitancy, for then they abate much of the recreation and delight they afford after the intentness of the mind on any business, otherwise 'tis but a continuation of the dream, in the stirring slumbers of Sport, and Recreation.
In the choice of your Exercises, affect none that are over robust and violent, that instead of remitting & unbending the Bow, will break it; but let them be moderate, and withal Virile, and Masculine; such as Riding the Great Horse, and Hunting, whose Encomiums are Celebrated by the [Page 33]most Famous of the Antient, as well as Modern Writers, as by Plato, Zenophon, Arrianus, and Julius Pollux; by Homer; Diogenes Laertius Lib. 6. in his Life of Diogenes Sinopaeas, tells us, he usually took his Scholars out with him to Hunt, and they that refused it, he dismissed from him. 'Tis too tedious to number to you the Latine Authors who have likewise wrote in praise of this Exercise, such as Livy, Cicero, Seneca, Justin, Plinius, Virgil, Horace, and infinite more; but if you have a mind to see a large commendation of it in a few words, I refer you to King James de Officio Regis, Lib. 3 On foot you have Tennis, and Bowls, and other such Exercises, but I would [Page 34]not advise you to make a toil of a Pleasure, by over exercising your Body; play not to wearisomness, which may make you nauseate the Recreation another time; as near as you can play with Companions your Equals, but if they are not at hand, pleasure will dispence with any Play-fellow, nor are you tied there to any strict rules of Honour.
Let your Exercises be designed to this end, to settle your mind, to beget a stomach and appetite, and to fit you for other succeeding business.
Of TRAVEL.
TRAVEL in some Men is an Humour and Curiosity only, in others Wisdom, and Design, and accordingly they make their different returns. It has been all along the practice of our Nation, and I think with very good success. I esteem it a very great accomplishment, for a Nobleman especially, but it must be such an one as can stifle his Lusts, and bridle his Passions; for Travel, says the Wise Seneca, Senec. Epist. neither temperates Pleasures, nor refraenates desires, neither represses wrath, or can it break the untam'd force of Love; but if you would have Travel pleasant to you, [Page 36]you must first cure your Companion.
Homer begins his Odysses in the praise of Ʋlysses, with this Title and Character, [...], &c. That he had seen many Cities, and knew the Manners and Customs of many Nations, as the most apparent demonstration of his Wisdom. 'Tis a pleasure and felicity when the mind embraces but a glancing thought of the beauteous Fabrick of the Universe, and is with a kind of delight transported to some peculiar part of it, whose felicity, pleasures, or wealth have run upon its wandring fancy; if this be so in the imagination, what delight and fruition is there in the corporal view and passage through the [Page 37]most remarkable Countries of the Universe? One journey will shew a Man more than twenty Descriptions, or Maps; what a desolate life do Tortoises live, who cannot be rid of their Houses? No man can endure confinement, and he that hath been locked up in one Kingdom, is but a degree beyond a Countryman, who never exceeded the bounds of his own Parish. Nevertheless all Men are not fit for Travel; Wise Men by it are made better, and Fools worse.
This enquires after nothing but Trifles, the Antick Fashions and Gestures of other Lands, and becomes the shame of all Nations, by disgracing his own, in carrying nothing of worth [Page 38]or esteem from them; and by bringing Censure and Imputatation upon Foreign Places where he Converst, by importing nothing but their vices.
If you would advantage your self by Travel, you ought to Note, and then Comment upon your Observations, remembring as well the bad, that you may avoid it, as the good, to put it in execution and practice, and without committing these things to Pen, they will pass from your Memory, without leaving any profitable results behind them. Let no hast therefore hurry you through any considerable remarkable place, but stay and view what is worthy in it, and be sure to Register it in your Journal, which [Page 39]will very much fasten it in your memory; the Charactering of your thoughts in Paper, will fit them ready for your use; and he that does thus, may re-journey all his Travels at home.
Solid Persons are the best proficients by Travel, they are not so prone to be inquinated by the dross and feces of Vice, and the taking Vanities of Foreign Countries, being abler to compose themselves to such manners, which may more readily facilitate their inquisition.
Pliance and outward freedom, and a seeming carelesness, is the readiest way to get in favour with Strangers, and to learn any thing from them. Policy and Negotiation for your use I recommend far before Book-Learning, [Page 40]though never so deep and knowing: When you are abroad, the best way is to Converse with the best Men, and not to chuse by the eye, but by common Fame and Celebration. For the Government, and things relating to the State, your Advice and Instruction is to be had no where so well as at Court; among Merchants for the Trade, Commerce, and Traffick; for their Religion among the Clergy, and Universities; and so for their Laws, Customs, and Manners, among the Lawyers. And I advise you, if you design fully to understand these several things, to make it your business to discourse with Persons of these several Professions; you know the Proverb, [Page 41] Ne Sutor ultra Crepidam. But chiefly, and above all, think no Travel too far or discommodious to visit Eminent and Learned Men; there is no Monument like a Vertuous and Learned Person, living by him we shall be something the better, we shall find something in him to enflame and excite our minds to strain to the like pitch, and to excel him in a brave imitation of his Excellent qualities.
To such Men you must carry your self with all submissive reverence, befitting the dignity of those Excellencies that are relucent in them and the awe you seem to stand in, will soon invite his Candour to a free reception, and near entertainment of you: for those Persons [Page 42]who are truly Learned, are very rarely Proud, or Stately.
Judgment is the greatest thing necessary for a Traveller, and therefore I approve not of your going abroad very young, in whom Judgment is rarely found; but if when you are grown to a competency of discretion, you have a desire to visit Foreign Places, I would have you seconded with the aid and assistance of Tutor, who knows already the Customs of the Places to which you design to make your Journey.
Of MARRIAGE.
NExt to Religion (wherein I include the Service to your Prince) Marriage claims your greatest care, upon which the chiefest of our Earthly happiness depends. 'Tis one of the chiefest ends of the Almighty's Creation of Women, that they might be an help meet (that is necessary) for Men; and when he brought Eve to Adam, he gave with her this Blessing, that they should be fruitful, and multiply.
And therefore I esteem Marriage a Duty you owe to your self, as well as to your Country. Besides, I question not [Page 44]but you'll be by experience convinc'd, that it ought to be plac'd among the Strongest, as well as the most Important ways of Nature; as Martial says,
Nay, Interest in Great and Noble Families forbids perpetual Virginity; and since the suppression of Nunneries, and such Monastick Privacies and Renunciations to the World, we have not had many of Jephtha's Daughters.
Marriage without doubt was one of the greatest Favours Almighty God confered upon Mankind; and when he bestows a Vertuous Wife, whose Humility, Chastity, and Affection are eminently great, he does as it were renew his first Intentions to us. 'Twas therefore well said by one, who discoursing of this Subject, affirmed that God did oftentimes reward the good works, the Honesty and piety of a Man, with the tender of a good and discreet Wife; for Parents can only give Wealth and Riches, Lands and Possesions to their Children, but God only can give them Prudent and Vertuous Women.
In the Contracting therefore of Marriage, Vertue is more to be considered than Money; Beauty will Rival either of them, and oftentimes gets Possession of both; but it quickly loses it again, because it wants those stays and supports which each of the other have in themselves; and be sure of this, that you love the Person with whom you Marry better than her Estate, for you know the Old Proverb in this is commonly true, He that Marries where he does not Love, will be sure to Love where he does not Marry, and Love without ends, hath no end.
I acknowledge Vertue is the First to be Courted, and [Page 47]the Primitiae, the First Fruits of our Love, ought to be offered up at her Shrine; but yet reserving the stock to Sacrifice to the numerous Contingencies and Accidents which often befal the Wedded state, by the additional helps of Wealth and Beauty; the latter of which especially I would not have you over-blinded with, 'tis one of the greatest deceits Nature is guilty of; not that it is so in those Persons to whom she is so graciously and liberally pleased to bestow it (for it is the most exact Copy of her Illustrious self) but in the fascination and witchery it darts through the Eyes into the Minds of Men; you cannot but pay homage to it, but let that Tribute redeem [Page 48]you from a Total Conquest.
You have heard the Comparison, How a Fair Wife is like a brave House without Furniture, you may please your self with the Prospect, but there's nothing within to keep you warm. Remember therefore that it is but Clay more refined, and set off with a better varnish, and being all on the out-side, lies more open and obnoxious to weather, and consuming time, and very often to present misfortunes; while that which is internal stands the shock, resists the Battering Rams, and like a strong fortified Garrison endures all brunts, when the other (like Darius his glittering Troops) is but a weak and gay [Page 49]Army, ready to be vanquish'd at the first Onset, and Encounter.
Money is the sinew of Love, as well as War, without which you can do nothing happy in Wedlock. The other are Court Cards, but are not of the trump suit, and are foiled by every sneaking Misadventure; Vertue is supprest, and cannot emerge and dilate it self in the straights of a narrow Fortune, and Beauty is constrained and betrayed to the necessity of keeping it so, 'tis otherwise in a pinching Condition; leanness and dead paleness will usurp the place, where full blown Roses sate with Love before.
Nor was it ever known, that a Beautiful Woman driven to want, escaped the Offers and Importunities of Men, who, under pretence of pitying and suppressing her distresses, by degrees have gained on her Honour and Chastity, while she satisfies her self, that out of gratitude she could no less than to comply with their desires and importunities.
I do much approve of Cross Marriages, I mean between Great Families that have been at enmity together, believing it to be the best cement to glue and fasten them to Love and Concord, for 'tis certain the [Page 51]Great Pompey and Caesar had not kept so long Friends, had it not been for the requiting duty; though I would not have them Marry in such Proximity as the House of Austria matches; by the Race we guess of the Production. Sortes (says Horace) creantur fortibus & bonis, and that adds a firm Monument to both Houses, being so incorporated into one another. However Men reckon it for Glory in Heraldry, to bear almost the whole Arms of the Kingdom in one Escutcheon. Methinks Honour there looks like a River, which, branched into several Rivolets, loseth it self in them; whereas [Page 52]Streams that take in another large confluent, carry all before them, and run directly into the Ocean, and disembogue themselves with a name.
If you are not affected that way, there is variety enough in England; but whatever you do, consult with your honour first, do not embase your blood with matching below you, it will soon breed distaste and dislike in your self, which will cause Malice and Revenge in her, and entail contempt and scorn upon your Issue and Posterity; such Embraces will be like the twining of the Ivy about [Page 53]the Oak, suck up moisture from the Root, while the Branches are withered, and the Stock falls to the ground, never like to re-flourish again: As you match your Peer in Honour, let her be so in years, a difference in Age is a secret fire raked up for a time, but will afterwards break out and consume your quiet, when either your desires and strength answers not the vigour of the younger.
The Sparkles will then flye with such violent colisions and clashings, that will soon set your Family in combustion.
After your choice made and [Page 54]pitcht upon, and a Vow past, keep your self religiously to it, knowing there can be no dispensation from it, and nothing but misery, joyned with shame and repentance is the consequence.
In the State of Marriage carry your self affectionate and discreetly; and keep strictly the Rites of it, that no jealousie, the Canker of Conjugal Love, fret the Knot which fastned you together; owe nothing to one another in zeal and fervency of affection, which will soon beget such a mutual confidence, that the rest of your life will be but [Page 55]an advantageous repetition of your first joys, and add number to your content and pleasures, as well as to your years.
As to the use of Marriage, you your self when you come to't will be the best judge of your own performance; this let me tell you, ought to be a moderate and conscionable delight. A Great Philosopher tells us, A Man ought to approach his Wife in fear, lest too wantonly provoking her desires, the pleasure thereof make her exceed the bounds of reason.
And too hot and too frequent [Page 56]an iteration of that pleasure hinders Generation; and on the other side, you ought seasonably to offer your self, lest she become languishing, Barren, and subject to other distempers commonly incident to that Sex.
Let not the secrets of Marriage pass beyond the Bed-Chamber, for he little regards his own Honour, or his Wives Chastity, who blazes or discovers what is done there: And no slyer Debauchery is there to Women, than what by such luxuriant freedom of their Husbands tongues is prompted to their [Page 57]warm desires, and strong and wandering imaginations.
In this great Affair, all that I can do is this, to pray and wish for your good success, and commend you to him who only is able to grant it you.
Of HOƲSE-KEEPING, and HOSPITALITY.
THIS is a Generosity very requisite to all Gentlemen, especially to the Nobility; and the most convincing Argument and Demonstration they are so. It is as well respected for the Quality, as the Quantity, according to every Man's Condition. You may be as free in a Moderate Entertainment, as in all the Excesses and Superfluities of your Table, which then becomes a [Page 59]snare, when it should be a kindness.
Hospitality has not only obtained the Eulogies of the most Eminent Divines, as St. Ambrose, St. Chrysostome, and others, but of the most Famous Philosophers. Plato de Legibus very largely discourses of the necessity of it, and withall, informs us, that all unkindness shewn to strangers, is done against God himself, who will be sure to revenge their Cause. The Account that the Antient Romans made of this, may very well be discovered by the Name Xenius, which they attributed to Jupiter, which [Page 60]without doubt they received from the Greeks, Hom. Odys. ‘ [...].’ From hence the Saying of Fides Jovis hospitalis Cicero ad Quintum fratrem. Non faciam ut illam offendam, ne Imploret fidem Jovis hospitalis. And in the 6 Chap. of the 2 Macchab. verse 2. we read how Antiochus ordered them to Pollute the Temple of Jerusalem, and to call it the Temple of Jupiter Olympius, and that in Garizim the Temple of Jupiter (Hospitalis) the defence of Strangers.
And among the many qualifications [Page 61]St. Paul in his Epistle to Timothy, Cap. 3. desires in a Bishop, is, that he be given to Hospitality.
I will not trouble you with any long Discourse upon this Subject, but briefly deliver my Advice how I would have you behave your self in this affair. In general, I would have you imitate your Ancestors, and love Hospitality; and to this purpose keep constantly at home, except urgent and necessary Occasions call you thence. The Entertainment your House will afford Strangers, though it be never so ample and abundant, will want that Condiment, and Sauce of Hospitality, your [Page 62]Company. Men usually affect the Company of their Landlord, though they pay for't; much more will the honour of your presence commend the frank and liberal Entertainment, to the gratitude of all Persons who shall resort to your House and Table.
Be not only Courteous your self to Strangers, but take care that your Servants be so too; kind reception and courteous admittance is as necessary before Meat, as digestion after it; and he that will have thanks for his Entertainment when 'tis past, must bespeak it before it begin at his Board, that his Victuals and Cheer be but a [Page 63]rumination of his first kindness, and that his Porch be as free as his Hall. Keep about you therefore no morose or ill natur'd Servants, and as neer as you can retain Men of a good Aspect, and of sair and Civil demeanour; such will not only be an Ornament and an Honour to you, but of much advantage: For as on the one side it will invite Persons of Quality and Civility to you, so on the other it will shame and deter the ruder and more ungovern'd sort of People, who meeting with such distonaut Humours, will either wholly abstain from you, or soon be Civiliz'd.
When you once have procured and surnished your self with such Servants, tie them to your Interests by Love, for since Slavery was banisht Christendom, a Servant is no other than one hired to such employment, and under such terms as he thinks fit to oblige himself. The difference therefore betwixt the Master and Servant is not so very great, for none can compel another to serve him against his will; nor can I contract with him for his Service, but he at the same time will bargain with me for his Sallary. I take him under my Roof, I make Provision for his Sustenance, preserve him from hunger, cold, &c. and what [Page 65]doth he for this? he serves me, yes he does, and does not he serve himself at the same time, nay, do not I serve him? The same labour he would undergo in his own House to maintain himself, and perhaps with greater anxiety, what in mine he doth with ease and pleasure.
Therefore I can term this service nothing but a compact betwixt the Rich and the Poor, for the mutual assistance and advantage. Therefore let your Commands be according to reason and sweetness; not so imperiously, or with such opprobrious language as may justly discontent and chase away a Servant; if he obey [Page 66]with chearfulness and affection, he may at length make your interest his own.
But above all things, I conjure you (my dear Child) to avoid Intemperance in drink. Luxury in feeding seldom carries men beyond their stomach and discretion, though never so many provocations be used to lure them on; but in the abundance of Wine Men are sottishly transported beyond themselves, and the excess of it makes Men the more covetous and raging after it, especially where they think or find they cannot be welcome, unless they comply with your humour, and can requite your charges no other [Page 67]way than by the loss and deprivation of their sense and modesty.
Drunkenness isEpistol. 83. somewhere by Seneca said to be nothing else than a voluntary madness. I need not give you Instances for Ancient as well as Modern History, and daily experience testi [...]ie the Incommodities it often reduce Men to; we not only by this lose the pleasure of Society, but ruine our bodily health as well as our eternal welfare.
'Tis a vice which is so much the greater by reason it wants the temptation that other sins commonly have to attenuate the Guilt. For I believe there are but few in England that agree to the humour of a young Fellow, who being in company with some of his Comrades, bid one of them drink about, and swore that talking spoiled Company. This custom of drinking hard we [Page 69]should the more despise, because we first receiv'd it from the thickest sculd People in the World; (and thus says Seigneur Montaigue) Vices discompose the Understanding; this totally overthrows it, and renders the Body stupid and incapable of a Generous Performance. I would therefore have you detest that barbarous German Mode of Drinking to Victory, by a beastly subduing of those whom you have invited, and humanely wellcomed, and bid to your Table: 'Tis one of the greatest Vices our Gentry hath brought from thence, amidst all those Trophies [Page 70]they deservedly gained there, and therefore the more caution is to be used, lest it insinuate it self easily by their Conserse, whose Company you shall do well always to esteem as an Honour, but yet use your own Discretion, and my Experience, as an Antidote against that poisonous humour. Suffer no Person to depart your House in discontent or anger, that shall not by rudeness, or some other unhospitable way deserve your disrespect; and on the other side, permit no tumultuous or disorderly Persons to remain within.
Every ordinary Man's House is his Castle, but a Nobleman's is that, and a Palace both, where there is reverence due to you, as well as a bare Power and Command: On publick Anniversary Thanksgiving days you must expend above your ordinary Provisions. The Solemnity due to those Festivals, takes its weight from the observation of the Nobility, whose Magnificencies at those times are the most forcible impressions to make the People remember and call to mind the mercies and favours of such days. This will more especially concern you who are to be an Example of Loyalty and Prudence to the People about you.
But be most sure that the Poor, whose Condition will not suffer them within your doors, may not be out of your heart, but that a constant Care and Provision be made for them; from whom I'm very sure you'll find the greatest returns and thanks, if not by them, yet for them.
Of the COƲRT.
THE Court is a place difficult of access, shut up with Rocks, Shallows, and Sands, and not one Adventurer in twenty comes off a saver. Besides 'tis a place of a most uncertain Air, full of Damps and Exhalations, spread with Clouds, and over-cast, and sometimes again scorching hot in the sudden rise and depression of Favourites. But if your Curiosity shall invite you to the Danger, and time look with [Page 74]a favourable Aspect upon you, remember these Observations of mine, who have both at distance and at close view well considered it. First then, as to the favour of your Prince, which is the most desirable thing in the world, 'tis rather an illustrious care than a contented possession; nor do wise men ever busie themselves about it, because the tranquillity of Spirit which they seek for, is not to be found amidst the confusions of the Court: And to guard a Mans self from the misfortunes there, and the Envy, which the graces of Princes, do contract upon their Favourites; there [Page 75]is no way better than Privacy and Retiredness. Cornelius Nepos tells us in the Life of Datames, how that he having by his celerity and dispatch, acquir'd the Grace and Favour of the King; incurr'd no less Envy from the Courtiers, who took it ill to see him more made of and cherisht than they were, and for this very reason agreed together to oppress and ruine him.
You must know, that 'tis meer Humane Weakness, which causes Princes to raise Favourites, to aid and support them in the weight and multitude of Affairs, [Page 76]and sometimes in such Secrets, which are heavier upon the mind than all the rest; the sad Effect whereof every Age hath given an example. You must at your entrance resolve to encounter the Accosts of Contempt, Scorn, Discontents and Repulses, with a bold and well setled Resolution, and take no notice of Slightings and Injuries done you by the great ones: A thing always judged grievous to a generous mind, and yet these are ordinarily the steps to Preferment. 'Twas a true Answer made by an Old Courtier, to one who ask'd him this Question, [Page 77] Quomodo rarissimam rem in aula consecutus est Senectutem? How he arriv'd to so great an Age at Court? Why says he, Injurias accipiendo, & gratias agendo. By bearing Injuries and returning Thanks. If you find favour at Court, beware your Covetousness after new Boons make you not forget the old ones; and if you receive denial, guard your self, that the distast be not more prevalent, to run you into Actions of dangerous Consequence, than Reason can be to keep you in Duty. Extraordinary Diligence, and affected Assiduity are to no [Page 78]purpose, whereby Men think to further their Advancement: On the contrary, if Men neglect and seem careless of promotion, attending when the merit of their Actions shall offer it them; Time or Fortune seldom fail to conduct them to true and permanent Honour. A Cholerick Person is not fit to be a Courtier, for if he should go about to revenge himself of the Indignities, and Tricks put upon him, he shall suffer more in an hour than he shall be satisfy'd for in ten Years.
You must do at Rome [Page 79]what others do there; be sure to sing no other Airs than those which please the Prince. 'Twas Solons comparison of Courtiers, who resembled them to Counters, with which Men use to cast Accompt; for as in changing their Places, they stand some times for more, and sometimes less, so Princes do the same with them, now advancing them in Honour and Dignity, and presently debasing them at their Pleasure to the scorn and derision of all Men. So that it is truly said, That Men have an opportunity of losing themselves at Court, and finding themselves at home.
Old Courtiers are like old Ships, brought into Harbour and there laid up, never to be put to Sea to any new Adventure.
'Twas a very Sarcastical saying of one at Court (says he) are Bishops and Priests to Baptize and change Names; for there the Vainglorious and Ambitious Man is call'd honourable; the Prodigal, Magnificent; the Coward, wise; the Malicious, Subtle; the Adulterous, Amorous; the Covetous, Provident; and what Confidence can any Man repose in Friends there, whose [Page 81]greatness renders them the more intractable; and as it is very difficult to find Vertue there, so it is much more so to keep it; he that sins and repents, and returns again to his sin, sins more grosly than at first; so to leave the Court and return thither again, is such an Error that is not excusable; save with this, that the return was to sell Vertue, and gain Wealth, since 'tis a great kindness of Fortune or a greatness of Vertue to escape that Gulf. Against the Envy of the Court, as against the Plague, there is no better preservative, than a Retreat, a Remedy often [Page 82]practised but with different success; it being very dangerous for popular Persons, and such as have had great Command to absent themselves without leave or dismission, for it not only breeds suspicions and jealousies of their disaffection, and consequently of a Rebellion, but likewise exposes them to the unobstructed Designs and Malice of their Enemies, which seldom end but in Ruine. This is generally the Complaint of Courts, wherein you must understand there is not the least concurrence of the Prince to give any such cause for it, but that [Page 83]by Tradition, the Grandees as by a Rule; and ever since Monarchy was Court Arts have been, and can vye precedency with any Mystery.
I never knew any great Favourite, who practised any new ways of his own: Some have been nobler and more Magnificent than others, freer in access and more affable, but yet still kept close to their Court Maxims, nor ever did their private Vertues gain upon their publick Concerns.
It is possible a Man may acquire an Estate at Court, but it is more probable that he may lose one; that which is got there, through how many Curses and Imprecations it passes? That which is lost, how many Tears and Deprecations attend it?
While you can therefore pay your Devotion, and your Loyalty to your Prince at home, and probably be better accepted; what need have you of a dangerous and unnecessary Pilgrimage to the Shrine, to pay a Personal Adoration? [Page 85]Therefore my advice is, that (unless your Prince command your Personal attendance) you'd live at home among your Neighbours, where your Thoughts may be at harmony, and your quiet uninterrupted.
Of FRIENDSHIP.
IN Friendship, you are not to use a Ranging Liberty, suspicion on the one hand, and reason of State on the other forbidding it. But yet what you want in the Multitude of Friends, who like flyes fasten on the sweets of Riches and Honour, will be very well compensated, if you have the happiness to find but one or two, whose affections are sincere and unfeigned; these far excel the [Page 87]many Cyphers which commonly attend on Greatness. To make a right choice therefore, you must first propose to your self the Inconstancy of Man, the most changeable Creature in the World, every breath of Wind forms him to a various shape; think not therefore of making a Friendship fixt and Eternal.
How ardently have Men loved some, even beyond the desire of dying for them, when in a Moment as it were a hasty Ebullition of Choler, hath rendred them exceeding offensive, [Page 88]that hath sunk them into our hate and execration. The consideration of this will keep you from overwearying any Man, and from a total trust and confidence in him, and beget in you a severest exercise, and consequently a firmer relyance on your own Vertues and Abilities.
Nothing sooner corrupts or weakens Friendship, than an over hasty entertainment of it, as praecoce Fruit, which soonest withers and decays. Judgment is the only Cement that closes and binds the affections of Men, where that's [Page 89]wanting, 'tis like building with untempered Mortar; the Structure like to totter and fall on our own heads. I never knew any so good and virtuous, but others have thought him vile and impious, and hated him; And contrarywise, none so bad and dissolute, but others have esteemed him honest and loved him, either the Ignorance, the Envy, or the partiality of those that judge, do constitute a various Man: In some Report has anticipated Judgment, in some an accident is the Cause and disposes us to love or hate. The Soul very often is led [Page 90]by secret and uninvestigable ways and motions to Love, and knows not why. But 'tis time alone and long tryal and probation which seldom fails to give right information, whereas Nature, Art, and Report, may deceive you: Of all Men a Coward and a Drunkard are the worst to make Friends of, for the one upon the least probability of danger, will desert you, the other will divulge the Secrets you have disclosed to him. The little experience which you already have will (I fancy) somewhat inform your judgment; but for [Page 91]your better direction and guidance herein, I shall give you these properties of Friendship, which my longer observation has found to be true Characters of it.
He who is really your Friend, will give you Counsel before you require it; and that's the reason a Man cannot keep a Friend by constraint, nor oblige Secrecy by coertion.
Most Men regard their profit, and therefore use their Friends as Men do their Beasts, carefully attend [Page 92]and look after them, not out of Love to the Creature, but for their own proper Advantages. But they who do so, in friendship abridge themselves and want the most desirable fruition in the World, which is natural and reciprocal Amity.
He that loves you extreamly, will as extreamly hate you; moderate therefore, and sober Friendship is most preferable; and since Friends must be had, if your Happiness be to find good ones, beware you incur not that unhappiness of changing them; he certainly [Page 93]is in the best condition that is furnished with the best Men for his Friends: Nevertheless, let no obligation to them, cause you to dispense with your Conscience or Religion, and have always a care not to trust any thing to your most intimate Friend, but what you cannot keep hid from time; for a small distaste and a little time will discover those Faults, which many years have conceal'd.
Never submit to your Friend if he require of you any thing unlawful, and what you cannot with a safe Conscience grant; nor [Page 94]do you use Friends as we use Flowers, smell to them as long as fresh, green and fragrant, and then lay 'em aside; for so (commonly) Friendships conciliated by interest or fancy, usually terminate: But especially beware of mercinary Love, which always leaves you when your Money fails; whereas true affection is durable and eternal. Let your Vertues procure and get you Friends throughout the World; for Love's Arms will join the distant corners of the Universe; and in your good Actions you'l not only enjoy a Complacency and Satisfaction, [Page 95]but be a President and Example to those about you.
Believe it, nothing will gain you so much Love and Respect, as your Uprightness and sincerity; Greatness was always suspicious, without some conspicuous proofs of a more than ordinary Integrity. Nor will true Glory attend Deceit and Hypocrisy. You know how at Old Rome there was no passage to the Temple of Honour, but through the Temple of Vertue: NON ITƲR IN TEMPLƲM HONORIS, NISI PER TEMPLƲM VIRTƲ TIS. [Page 96]Intimating, that Glory and Honour were not to be attained, but by vertuous Atchievements and Undertakings.
In a word, Let your Friends be also vertuous and honourable; for next to being so your self, nothing can be more prejudicial to your Reputation, than to associate your self with, and keep company with uncivil and scandalous Persons.
Of PLEASƲRE and IDLENESS.
BY your recess from the Publick Businesses of State, you will be the more apt and prone to fall into some Supineness and Negligence, and indulge your self to some inordinate Pleasures, to which Men especially of your Age, are naturally very subject, except you keep a very strict guard over your Inclinations and Affections.
Remember therefore that great and worthy Actions were never founded in vain Delights, and that nothing is less generous than Pleasures, which mollifies and effeminates Manhood and corrupts the Seeds of Vertue and Courage.
But of all Pleasures to which our Age is given, avoid and take heed of Gaming, that vain and yet most bewitching Temptation, a Vice which has alienated many fair Estates and Possessions from ancient Families; a Vice so extravagant, where a Man casts a Die [Page 99]whether his Estate shall be his own or not, by its extraction you may guess its Goodness, born (as I may say) in a dissolute Camp, where its first stake was the price of Life. I have before hinted to you, what Recreations and Sports most befit a Gentleman, and in this what misbecomes him. I might say more against this abominable Vice, but I hope this will be sufficient. I remember, That Dan. Souter from Guil. Stuckius, endeavours to prove, That the playing at Dice contradicts and violates all the Ten Commandments; I'm sure it [Page 100]does a great many: And our Countrey-man Joh. Salisburiensis in his Polycraticon, says very well, Mendaciorum Mater est alea: And St. Cyprian had writ a whole Discourse against this very thing. Tacitus tells us, That the Germans were so given to this Play, that when they had lost all their Money and Estates at it, they'd stake their Bodies and Liberty; for which, as Tully says, a good Man ought chiefly to contend.
In the next place, I would advise you to avoid all Drinking Clubbs, and [Page 101]that which is now stiled Good Fellowship; for these Bacchanalia are as bad again as the former, if not worse. This will presently bestialize you, and take away the Signature God hath stampt upon you. A Drunkard! I cannot name it without abhorrence and detestation; it will divest you of your nature, and not leave you one spark of Honour, but that as well as your Estate will sink into that Deluge of Ebriety. 'Twas observ'd by Cato, That none came to the Destruction and overthrow of that State sober, but Caesar only: Most [Page 102]certain it is, That none shall be called to the maintaining of a State, whose Debaucheries have rendred him uncapable of governing himself.
The Converse of ill Women is altogether to be shunned, lest you be fascinated by their Beauty and Subtleties, to the ruine of your eternal Welfare hereafter, as well as your Estate here. Several Men esteem it no little Felicity to enjoy the Company of fine Women, but they consider not to what Dangers they oblige themselves, and what Burthens they impose [Page 103]upon themselves, to the secret ruine of their Fortunes; for nothing is so chargeable as an imperious Beauty.
Neither seek nor entertain Pleasures when they present themselves in their gaudy Bravery, but with a Noble Constancy keep your mind fast shut against their Charms and Allurements.
Field Recreations, as they more conduce to your Bodily Health, so they give you but little time to indulge your Genius otherwise.
It has been disputed whether to do ill or to do nothing, male agere aut nihil agere, be the worst. And Seneca tells us, Melius est aliud agere quàm nihil, that 'tis better to do things tho' to little purpose, than sit Idle. The life of Man resembles Iron, which being wrought into Instruments, and used, becomes bright and shining, but unwrought, is consum'd and eaten by rust; or like a field which being Tilled and Manured, rewards the pains of the covetous Husband-Man, but if neglected, produces nought but unwholsome [Page 105]Herbs, and unprofitable Weeds. So it is with Noble Persons, if they stir themselves, and employ their parts in the service of their Country, or in other honourable Employments, they become conspicuously Glorious. Industry instead of impairing, preserves a Mans health, when nothing is more detrimental to it, or more dishonourable in it self than ignoble Ease. The Title or Character Horace bestows upon an idle Person, I think is very pertinent and agreeable. Telluris inutile pondus.
Nothing in the Universe stands still, the Heavens, and those Orbs of Light, are in perpetual motion, and though the Earth perhaps moves not Spherically, (as Copernicus fancied) yet there is a continual Motus in that too in her Productions: An idle Man is a Mare mortuum, like standing Water which stagnates and Corrupts.
I do not in the least admire to see Gentlemen given to the vicious Courses and Debaucheries of Life, seeing they affect a lazy Greatness, without the props [Page 107]of Employment to support it.
The Philosophers tell us how Virtue consists in Action, and there is an old Motto acquiesces as much, in motu Melos. This we all find, that your active and brisk Souls are the most agreeable to Society and Conversation, while your dull and Phlegmatick Person is neither fit for other Peoples Company, nor his own.
If you grow not better by employing your self, yet this benefit will certainly accrue to you, that [Page 108]'twill keep you from being worse; by your not having leisure to entertain suggestions of Evil from without. There is a kind of good Angel waiting upon diligence, that ever carries a Laurel in his hand to Crown her; and Fortune according to the Ancients, was not to be prayed to, but with the hands in motion. And Plato says truly [...]. That the Sluggard or idle person is worthy of no reward or encouragement. How unworthy was that Man of the World or the enjoyments of it, that never did ought but lived and dyed.
There's a Story of Servilius Vacia an extraordinary rich Roman, who hating all business or Employ, left the City, and spent his Life at a Villa of his own near Cumae, and was known for nothing else but for his lazy Life, therefore several People, when incumbred with Business, would very often cry out O Vacia, you only know how to live. Seneca condemning the Supineness and Ignominious Laziness of this Person, said, that he knew not how to live, but to lye hid; and often passing by his Villa would [Page 110]jocosely say, Hic situs est Vacia, intimating, that there was no difference in being dead and living after that fashion.
It is therefore none of the ordinaryest happinesses to be endued with a Mind that loves Noble and Virtuous Exercises.
Of CONVERSATION.
IN this affair I'm very sensible you'l have no little need of my Advice and Counsel, and in the first place, I shall treat about Civility, for want of which, I have known many great Persons trusting too much to their Justice and severe Virtues, have been utterly ruined and undone; and several Persons of great Parts and Abilities, for want of civil Address and Compliance, have [Page 112]become useless in their generation. And others, by their surly and uncomplyant humour, render themselves distasteful to Society, and from thence fall into contempt and hatred of all Men; and from thence, not only bring dishonour upon themselves but their Family and Parents, upon their Country likewise, if they happen amongst strangers, they will be apt to censure hardly of that Nation, whose Gentry is so little Civiliz'd. Therefore you are to take an extraordinary care of your Carriage in Conversation, especially in our Cities and [Page 113]Courts, where are Persons of greater and more piercing Spirits, and more curious observers; and no Man in these Places can expect to live, except he sometimes mortifie his own Humour and Inclination.
You are to imitate in this Affair the Courtier, who for his Interest complys with every one, is always gay, chearful and Complaisant, and makes this his humour to borrow the Companies. 'Twill be one great part of Civility, not to resent every word or Action, which perhaps [Page 114]rationally may be interpreted to be disesteem or undervaluing. And I like a story of a Gentleman, who when one told him how such a one affronted him, answered, but he has not, for I will not be affronted.
This perhaps some will esteem as pusillanimity, but what ever they look upon it to be; I'm sure 'tis greater prudence, for revenge is but a poor satisfaction, which makes me Extreamly admire at the Extravagance of some of our Nobility and Gentry, who think their honour engaged [Page 115]to require satisfaction for the smallest Injury imaginable; and from thence proceed to the Sword, where if it happens that one be mortally wounded (as it very often does) the other, except the Mercy and Clemency of the Prince interpose, by becoming obnoxious to the Laws, brings upon himself an Ignominious death, and a disgrace and infamy to his Posterity.
I reckon not Civility, to consist in certain modish and particular Ceremonies and fashions in Cloaths, Gesture, Meen, Speech or [Page 116]punctuality of behaviour; it is not using such Discourses, Words, Phrases, Games, as are in fashion at Court with Gallant Ladies, &c. This is a constrained formality, but Civility ought to be built upon the Basis of Prudence, and Charity, which are to perpetuity unchangeable.
I reckon Complements but a poor piece of Civility, because it proceeds from a different Cause; Civility from Sincerity and Vertue, these from Duplicity and Deceit. He that uses them most, believes [Page 117]not himself; and by thinking to make them believe, they are directed to, exposes himself to their Derision. He is always very ready to promise, not so to perform, asking pardon where there is no Offence nor Necessity, &c. These are imaginary Services, notional and impertinent Humiliations; a solemn Nonsence, an abusing of Language, a putting together many good words to signifie nothing. The use of this Traiterous Discourse is only fit for Trades-men, who love to keep you in talk lest you should too narrowly examine the [Page 118]Wares they would put upon you.
Let this also in your Conversation be a great part of your care, to avoid all manner of Affectation and Singularity; for whatever is according to nature is best, and what contrary to it always distastful, and betrays Vanity and Indiscretion: A seeming Negligence is very graceful, but a constrainedness or seeming to do, with design or study undervalues an Action; and nothing is more absurd and foolish than an affected Negligence.
Pride, Insolence, Stateliness and Imperiousness, are not Signs or Qualifications of a Gentleman, but the Scandals of Conversation; when Civility and Affability are the greatest Magnetisms in the World, a conforming ones self to the innocent Humours and Infirmities sometimes of others, and readiness to do Courtesies for all: Not only in Conversation, but in the whole management of your Life, Prudence will be your best and greatest Assistant; this therefore depending upon Experience, without which no Man of [Page 120]ever so great Capacity, can any more arrive to be a wise Man than Fruit to Maturity, without time. Experience is either of other Men, which we see read, or hear, or of our own Affairs. This is the harsher Mistress, and happy is he that can arrive to Perfection, tho in his Old Age. Conversing much makes a Man bold and confident, and engaging in business fits for more.
There is a vast difference between Prudence and Cunning; The Prudent Man deals so sincerely, that he neither dreads nor fears the [Page 121]Examination of his Actions or Purposes, and is not afraid to have Witnesses, if it were possibly of his Thoughts. The Cunning measures Justice by escaping Punishment, Wisdom by Success, Reputation by Wealth or Power, and the satisfaction of others by his own Interest: He uses Artifices, as taking advantage of the Person if in necessity or in danger, if weak or ignorant; he watches the time if in drink, if dejected, if inadvertant, if easie; he pretends great kindness and affection in general Expressions, or particular ambiguous ones, or [Page 122]such as he will not be obliged by; his great Engine is a smooth Tongue, and a competent stock of Wit.
'Tis a great piece of Prudence to be jealous, and suspect our selves, lest we run away too hastily with a Likelihood instead of Truth, and abound too much in our own sense.
Many Vices, tho' contrary, yet are like to Vertues: The confines of both are the same, and the exact Limits and Boundaries difficultly fixt; as of Pride and Greatness of Spirit, Religion and Superstition, [Page 123]Quickness and Rashness, Government and Tyranny, Liberty and Licentiousness, Subjection and Servitude, Covetousness and Frugality, &c. And yet Prudence chiefly consists in this very exactness of Judgment, to discern the one from the other, and give to every Cause it's proper Actions and Effects.
It is therefore necessary for every one to observe his own Actions and the Original of them, his Thoughts and Intentions with great care and circumspection; he must otherwise despair of ever arriving [Page 124]to any tolerable knowledge of what he doth well or ill.
I have before advised you to abstain from the Society of debauched and scandalous Persons, to these I shall add the Railers, whose chiefest pleasure and delight consists in exposing others to contempt and derision, either by imitating their Actions, or Imperfections, or by jeering and mocking them; him I would have you avoid as you would the Heels of an Horse that kicks every one he can reach; if you cannot, take the part of the abused; [Page 125]blame the Action, spare the Person; or if the Person be known, excuse the Action; if neither can be done, praise the Person for some other good Action or Quality; so you have an Antidote against the Poyson.
There is not in my opinion, a greater Enemy to Peace and Charity, than the Railer; for as ordinary Claudius accusat Maechos, so one Jeer seldom but returns with its equal, which together produce a Quarrel; besides, to abuse Inferiours, argues a mean and contemptible Spirit; Superiours [Page 126]is dangerous. To abuse a Friend is to lose him, a Stranger to lose your self in the Worlds esteem. Near of Kin, to these are the Drolls who turn all to Ridiculousness, but I think themselves most. There is nothing so sacred and prudent, which by the petulancy of Wit, may not be made ridiculous, and consequently contemptible.
The Holy Scriptures I have heard to have been Burlesqu'd by those who spare neither their Souls nor Reputation to prove themselves Buffoons, and [Page 127]shew their Abilities an ingenious Folly: And these whilst they think to fool others, become themselves really what others are in their Imagination.
The most innocent, graceful and universal Discourse, is telling Stories, and Modern rather than Ancient; some I have known so very excellent in this, as to parallel any case by some piece of History. This if well done, is a very great Perfection of Eloquence and Judgment, and will render your Company grateful and desirable, by Persons of Sense and Learning.
I shall now end, only to the rest, whose Correspondence and Society I would have you shun, add the Flatterer, who by observing the Actions and Discourses of their pretended Patron, discover his Inclinations, as Hunters do the haunts of wild Beasts, the more easily to entrap them. It is their interest he should be vicious, careless, irregular, and extravagant, for by that means they can more easily withdraw him from all vertuous Persons, and ingross him to themselves, who have no other way to ingratiate themselves, but [Page 129]their ready compliance with all his desires. This they endeavour should pass for Affection to his Person; and they represent all other Advisers either as contemners of him, or at best of morose ungentiel Humour: Therefore they pretend to Idolize him, to observe his Counsels and Commands as Oracles, not to converse with those he suspects, to inveigh against his Enemies; to make him their Mouth, and themselves even in their own Affairs ruled by him; to take great content in serving him; to praise him immoderately before those who will be sure to inform [Page 130]him of it; to exaggerate every small Favour received from him, and to dissemble the Injuries.
They are also careful to new-name all his Vices; Debauchery they call Merriment; Jealousie Circumspection; Prodigality Generosity, &c. They feign also in themselves, the like Inclinations, Sympathy, and Sentiments with their Patron, and often undervalue themselves in respect to him. They are also apt to praise him, for what he hath not done, or extravagantly for what he hath done, glossing [Page 131]and putting a Varnish over all Miscarriages, &c. and few there are who escape this Bait. For who is he who values not himself above his deserts, and thinks not all is his due which is given? In reality, the refusing or accepting of Praise rationally and discreetly, is as great a Tryal of a Wise Man, as the Cupel is of Silver. My Concern for the Miscarriage of a late young Kinsman of ours, who was ruined meerly by hearkening to the adulations of such Parasites, and forsook the advises of his Friends and nearest Relations have [Page 132]made me be more punctual in describing the craft and subtilty of these wicked Men, whose Conversation is not only Ignominious in the sight of this World, but will make you Eternally Miserable in the next.
I have here (my dear Son) sent you my Advice for the management and Conduct of your self, in the most important Affairs of this World.
They are not in such a method as I could wish they were, and as I thought at first to have reduc'd [Page 133]them, but my Employment in the Publick Affairs of the Nation would not permit me to place these my Admonitions in so accurate a method as I intended, by diverting my Thoughts to look after my other Business. Yet I believe I have omitted but little of what I should have said, and dare promise my self that among these lines you may pick out what will be of use to you in your most especial Concerns.
As to your Behaviour in the University, I have altogether left you to the [Page 134]Management of your Tutor, whose Advices and Admonitions if you follow, I'm sure I need not despair of receiving such a return as all your Friends and my self expect from you.
This I charge you upon my Blessing, not to neglect the Publick Prayers in your College, from which nothing but sickness ought to give you a dispensation. By this you will be an Example to all the other Gentlemen of your Society, and oblige all good Men to be your Friends; add joy to your [Page 135]Relations and be the greatest Comfort in this World to