AT a Grand Match of the Royal Sport of Cock-Fighting in Rag­land Fields, in Aviarium, or the Kingdom of Birds, there lately happened a private Quarrel between a Prag­matical, Ambitious, Superstitious Albanian Mag-Pye, and a Phanatical, Covenanting, Seditious Scotian Black-Bird: The Contest was for Preheminence, but the Controversie being hot and encreasing, and like to prove dangerous Effects (the Eagle, King of Birds, not being in the way) it was appointed that the Two Criminals should be Tryed by a Non-such Commission, for the safety of the Kingdom, in the hallow Oak formerly called Pretorium servile, midway betwixt the Trip­ple-Tree, in the Dukedom of High-Holbourn, and the Landgraviate of the Forest of Epin­gia, being the Eagles Capital City, which was accordingly performed the 11th of the Greek Kalends. The Judges were L. Chief Justice Hawk, Mr. Justice Cuckow, and Mr. Justice Batt, Two Justices of the Peace for the next Year. There was appointed a Party Jury, half Birds and half Beasts, very fit for the purpose, and most of them having a na­tural Antipathy against the Two Malefactors.

Their Names are,

• Mr. Weesel, an English
• Mr. Reynard Fox, a Scotch
• Mr. Woolf, a Roman
• Friend Yea and Nay Racoon, a Pensilvanian
• Myn Heer Water Rat, a Dutch
• Mr. Monkey, a French

• Mr. Raven, a Mungrel Protestant
• Mr. Peacock, a Canary
• Mr. Sparrow, a Hedge
• Mr. Porcupine, a Goal
• Mr. Water-wag-tail, a Whore's
• Mr. Kite, a Rapa-Ree

The Court being thus orderly set, Silence Commanded, the Prisoners were Arraign'd, and their Indictments Read by Tom Tit, Clerk of the Crown: After which, the Parrot, At­torney General, and chief Speaker for the King, opened their Indictment thus:

‘May it please your Lordship, and this Honourable Court: The Two Prisoners at Bar, Sir Roger Magpye, Knight and no Gen­tleman, and Robert Sterling, alias Black-Bird, Esq stand Indicted as false Traytors and grievous Malefactors, contrary to the Peace of our Soveraign Lord the King, have with their Idle Chattering, set our Bills on edge, and made it their Business (in this dangerous Time; wherein the Peace and [Page] Tranquility of the Kingdom hangeth on so slender a Bough) to Sow the Seeds of Sedi­tion, shake the Root of the Royal Oak, where­in the Eagle hath built his Nest, and (by kindling a Spark of Animosity) to set on fire the whole Kingdom of Birds: Therefore, in Name and Authority of our Soveraign Lord the Royal Eagle, I require Justice to be executed on the Prisoners according to utmost extremity of the Law.’

On this the Lord Chief Justice Hawk be­gan to look grim, and after some sharp and noisome Words and Threats, asked the Pri­soners, whether they were Guilty or not.

The Magpye, being the Bird in Fashion, began to clear himself first, in indirect terms; telling, That the Black Bird gave him the first Affront and Provocation, by throwing Dirt at his white Feathers, in the Streets of Troynovant, whilst he was taking care for no­thing but the Feathering of his Nest, as all Coffee-Polian Birds, could testifie.

But the Black-Bird reply'd thus: ‘I do acknowledge and testifie, That at the time I threw this late Kennel Dirt (which I had wrapt up in a sheet of Paper) at the Lazie Magpye, he and I were good Friends from the Bill out: But the intollerable provoca­tions of some Ambitious Magpyes our Tribe have met with formerly, are still fresh in our Remembrance; and the Feud now is so great, and become so natural, that it is as easie to reconcile Light with Darkness, as to make us good Friends, till they throw by their white Feathers, and give over a great many more of their affected Gestures. But since I gave them the last Affront, they have accused us of Treason against the Line of our Royal King, as being accessary to the twisting off the Head of the best of Eagles, whilst it is known to the Right Ho­nourable Judges, Hawk, Cuckow, and Batt, that the Actors of that dreadful Tragedy were Storks, D—, and Moles.’

Your Sect is never at quiet, you are still affronting our Lordships, you are an inferior Crew of Seditious Scismaticks; you are all Publicans, and cannot live in Peace under any King; you convene privately in Flocks under Hedges, and at a dark and shady Grove, called Coffee-Polian Boriale, where in several Clusters of Tub-Chanters, you Plot nothing but Mischief, and Sow Sedition.

These are all Forgeries, the Bench knoweth the contrary, at least those who know the History of the Times, and present State of the Kingdom. But one of your over-grown Magpyes pick'd up a stately Lapwing with a Pyebald Top-Knot near the Sea Coast, and carrying to the Belzebub-Ta­vern, near the Rooks-Cloyster, by the Western-Gate, got her with Egg of a young Jacobite, but as soon as she began to look big-bellied of a new Plot, he run away and left the So­ciety to look after the Chick: But had not the Egg been Birth-crush'd on the Triple Tree, it might have been hatcht to a Cockatrice, and brought the whole Kingdom to Confusion.

The Magpye began here to Prattle, and clear his Cabal of the Accusation, but the E­vidence being a clear demonstration, Judge Cuckow Commanded Silence; telling, That he might be asham'd to speak in the behalf of so pernicious a Patron; and that the Ca­nonical Cock had turn'd his back upon the Bantling, and fled to a Desart, and that the Kingdom would look after the young Mag.

There are many Magpyes in this Kingdom of Birds, who will not Pray for the Eagle, their just and lawful King; but no Black-Birds are of that Stamp: yet we would gladly smother the Infirmities of the Magpyes, because the greater part of them are truly Honest, Just, and Well-meaning Birds, and were always against joyning with the Cormo­rant, that Bird of Prey, in ruining their Bre­thren the Black-Birds.

We should be beholding to your general Charity, were there any thing in it but to wheedle the Court into a belief of your good Nature; whereas you are nothing in­ferior to any Tribe, in your ill-natur'd, do­mineering, and insulting Spirit, for you Stig­matize our Holy Ephod with the name of, The Whore of Babel's Smock; our Temple Mu­sick you term, Scotch Bag-Pipes, and Catho­lick [Page] Whistles, &c. these Expressions savour of the Roman Woolf, and the Spirit of Envy. And tho' I acknowledge, that the Black-Birds came over to this Kingdom from Geneva and Heidleburgh, before our Community were well settled, yet the Magpyes, ever since their firm Establishment in England, have been very Loyal, for had the Italian Vulture con­tinued King still, we had been obsequious to his absolute Commands, rather than un­faithful to our Allegiance.

'Tis enough, whoever be King, the Magpyes will still prove Loyal, but in several Respects.

These Idle Reflections are not the end for which we came hither, and I require, in the Kings Name, the Execution of Justice upon these Two Malefactors, for striving to set the whole Kingdom of Birds by the Ears, and so raise a Civil Dissention in the Bowels of the Nation.

Mr. Attorney you shall.

Have you any thing more to say in your own behalf, Mr. Black-Bird? and whether did you give the Lord Magpye the first affront?

My Lord I have receiv'd one hundred Affronts for one.

But are you the Bird that lately Chatter'd against a Reverend Magpye.

I will not tell you, my Lord, you may find it out.

Give him his Oath upon it, he is an obstinate Fellow.

Beg your Pardon Mr. Batt, I am not bound to Swear, for Nemo tenetur jurare in suam injuriam.

What Country Bird are you?

A Scotch Bird.

Few good of that Kind. Is there no Evidence here against him.

Very little.

Call in the Tropick-Bird, he's an Adamite, he's Naked, he hath but one Feather, and that is in his Tail; he's an Innocent Bird, he'll speak Truth. You Tropick-Bird, Is the Black-Bird Guilty or not? he is, I think.

By yea and by nay he is.

Show how he is Guilty.

How is that, Judge Hawk?

How can you say, that he is Guilty or not Guilty, unless you know the Crime for which he is Accused? and whe­ther he hath done such things as are laid to his Charge?

Come, come, give him his Oath.

He's very Honest, he was brought up a Bird of Grace in Pensilvania, at the Feet of Gamaliel.

I am not willing to Swear: but by Yea and by Nay the Black-Bird [...]s Guilty: Hang him, hang him, as you did the Partridge, the other day.

I told you he was a Bird of Grace, he hath not Conscience enough to Swear.

But, I believe, can Lie damnably.

Come you Members of the Ju­ry, the Black-Bird is a very Seditious Bird, go out and consult upon the Evidence, which I think is very plain, therefore you can do no less than find him Guilty; for tho' the Evidence has not Sworn, yet I think his plain, honest, well-meaning Word is better than the Oaths of some hundreds that are unclean Birds

I think they are both as Guilty as other: The Magpye is no less an Offender than the Black Bird.

The Magpye is an honest good Fellow, but the Black-Bird is a sneaking Seditious Son of a Common-wealth—, Hang him, Hang him.

I think they are both Guilty alike.

Mutua Pugna, mutua poenae.

Who is Fore-man of the Jury?

I am, and I think they are both equally Guilty.

Go out again, for the Magpye is a very honest Bird.

I do not understand this when Feud and Favour pervert and Eclipses the Statutes of the Law.

No nor I either.

Who's Fore-man now?

I am, and they are both equal­ly Guilty.

So you told me before, go out again, the Black-Bird's a Scotch Knave and great Loon; but Mr. Magpye is an honest downright jolly good Fellow.

There's more Law than Ju­stice here.

Yea, by half.

Who's Foreman of the Jury now?

I am, and the Magpye is sound Guilty.

Go out again, and I will serve you as much another time, for the Magpye is a very honest English Bird.

I wish I had not been upon the Bench to day.

What need is there to Plead, when the Judge is determined what to do before-hand.

Who's Foreman of the Jury?

I am, and the Black-Bird is found Guilty.

Thou art an Honest Fellow.

I think it strange to see a Jury bring in contrary Verdicts in one and the same Information.

My Lord, you have had your Will thrice, let me have my Will once. You Members of the Jury, go out once more before Sentence be past, choose an honest Foreman, and let him speak what he know­eth to be true and right.

It shall be as I please, and I will pronounce what Sentence I will.

My Lord, there is no need to trouble any more, when you are sufficient to be Judg, Jury, Evidence, and the Devil and all.

So I am.

Who's Foreman now?

I am; and to speak without Hypocrisie, both the Magpye and the Black-Bird are guilty of Dissimulation and Dis [...] ­tion; and, to tell you the Truth, Mr. Black-Bird hath stoln too many of my Tricks, and we will go out no more, take this for our Verdict.

Well Mr. Black-Bird, you are insome measure beholding to Mr. Monkey, for putting you in the same Series with my special Friend Mr. Magpye. But have you any thing to say before I pass Sentence?

I beg the benefit of my Clergy

Let him have it.

O! it is an unclean Book, I can­not read it; I had rather run the hazard of the hardest Sentence.

An Legit?

Vult potius perdi quam legere.

'Tis well enough, come, come Mr. Magpye, what have you to say before Sentence be past?

I beg for Transportation.

Whither?

To New Albion or Pensilvania, that I may be a means to reduce those Stuborn Schismaticks, and bring them into the Bosom of our Holy Mother the Church.

Silence, silence, Executioner, without delay, take this Reverend Magpye, and let him be Trans­ported with the first Flock that Soars to New Albion, that old Albion may be no more plagu'd with the Chat­tering between him and Mr. Black-Bird. And as for the Seditious Black-Bird, he is to be carried to the Place from whence he was brought, and there to be tyed to a tumbling Tree, his Feathers pulled off from his back, and whipt with a Canonical Girdle between the Triple-Tree and the Royal Oak.

This hard Sentence sounded harsh in the Ears of the poor Black-Bird, and seem'd very unjust to all the Bench. But Sir Reynard the Fox began to grin and be in a Passi­on, for being slighted in his first Verdict, and gave L. C J. Hawk some short Language, whereat his Lordship Commanded him to be secur'd in the Bail-Dock, but before the Bench was aware, he pull'd his Lordship by the Neck, and Bit off his Honourable Head. Mr. Owl the Hangman finding himself Cheated of the Magpye's Cloaths, carried away the Cuckow in his Clutches; and Mr. Weesel put an end to the poor Night-Bat: Mr. BlackBird making his escape to a Malt-Barn. Then the fa­mous Sanhedrim ended in Confusion, none regreting the Death of the Honourable Judicatory but Magpies, Ter­macheus, and Lapwings; yet, in obedience to the Law, Mr. Magpye went to New-Albion, where now you may find him if you go in time. Et sic finitur fabula.