SIr WILLIAM D'AVENANT being dead, not a Poet would afford him so much as an Elegie; whether because he sought to make a Monopoly of the Art, or strove to become Rich in spight of Minerva: It being with Poets as with Mush­roms, which grow onely on barren ground, in­rich [Page 6] the Soyl once, and then degenerate: Onely one, more Humane than the rest, accompany'd him to his Grave with this Elogium.

Another went further yet, and using the pri­vilege of your Antient Poets, who with almost as much certainty as your Divines, can tell all that passes in the other World: did thus Re­late his Voyage thither, and all his Adventures in the Poets Elyzium.

AS every one at the instant of their Deaths, have Passports given them for some place or other, he had his for the Poets Elyzium; which not without much difficulty he obtained from the Officers of Parnassus: For when he alleg'd, he was an Heroick Poet, they ask'd him why he did not continue it▪ When he said he was a Dramatick too, they ask'd him why he left it off, and onely studied to get Mo­ney; like him who sold his Horse to buy him provender: And finally, when he added, He was a Poet Laureate, they laugh'd, and said, Bayes was never more cheap than now; and that since Petrarch's time, none had ever been legitimately crown'd.

[Page 8]Nor had he less difficulty with Charon, who hearing he was Rich, thought to make a Booty of him, and ask'd an extraordinary price for his passage over; but coming to payment, he found he was so poor, as he was ready to turn him back agen, he having hardly so much as his Nau­lum, or the price of every ordinary Passenger.

Being arriv'd, they were all much amaz'd to see him there, they having never heard of his be­ing dead, neither by their Weekly Gazets, nor Cryers of Verses and Pamphlets up and down; (as common a Trade there, almost as it is here) nor was he less amaz'd than they, to find never a Poet there, Antient nor Modern, whom in some sort or other he had not disoblig'd by his discommendations, as Homer, Virgil, Tasso, Spencer, and especially Ben. Johnson; contrary to Plinies Rule, never to discommend any of the same profession with our selves: ‘For either they are Better or Worse than you, (says he) If Better, if they ben't worthy commendati­ons, you much less; if worse, if they be wor­thy commendations, you much more:’ So every ways advantagious 'tis for us to commend others. Nay even Shakespear, whom he thought to have found his greatest Friend, was as much offended with him as any of the rest, for so spoil­ing [Page 9] and mangling of his Plays. But he who most vext and tormented him, was his old An­tagonist Jack Donn, who mock'd him with an hundred passages out of Gondibert; and after a world of other railing and spightful language (at which the Doctor was excellent) so exasperated the Knight, at last, as they fell together by the ears: when but imagine

Mean time the Comick Poets made a Ring about them, as Boys do when they hiss Dogs to­gether by the ears; till at last they were separa­ted by Pluto's Officers, as diligent to keep the peace and part the fray, as your Italian Sbirri, or Spanish Argruzelo; and so they drag'd them both away, the Doctor to the Stocks, for raising tumults and disturbances in Hell, and the Knight to the Tribunal, where Minos, Aeacus and Rhada­manthus were to sit in Judgment on him, with Momus the Common Accuser of the Court.

[Page 10]Here being arriv'd, and silence commanded, they ask'd him his Quality and Profession: To whom he answer'd, he was a Poet Laureate, who for Poetry in general had not his fellow a­live, and had left none to equal him now he was dead: And for Eloquence,

Then for his Plays or Dramatick Poetry,

To which Momus answered: That though they were never so good, it became not him to commend them as he did; That there were Faults enough to be found in them; And that he had mar'd more good Plays, than ever he had made; That all his Wit lay in Hyperbolies and Comparisons, which, when Accessory, were commendable enough, but when Principal, de­serv'd no great commendations; That his Muse was none of the Nine, but onely a Mungril, or By-blow of Parnassus, and her Beauty rather so­phisticate than natural; That he offer'd at Learning and Philosophy, but as Pullen and Stubble Geese offer'd to fly, who after they had flutter'd up a while, at length came fluttering down as fast agen; That he was with his high-sounding words, but like empty Hogsheads, the higher they sounded, the emptier still they were: And that, finally, he so perplex'd himself and Readers with Parenthesis on Parenthesis, as, just as in a wilderness or Labyrinth, all sense was lost in them.

[Page 11]As for his Life and Manners, they would not examine those, since 'twas suppos'd they were Licentious enough: onely he wou'd say,

And though this, and much more was exagge­rated against him by Momus; yet the Judges were so favourable to him, because he had left the Muses for Pluto, as they condemned him onely to live in Pluto's Court, to make him and Proserpina merry with his facetious Jeasts and Stories; with whom in short time he became so gracious, by complying with their humours, and now and tan dressing a dish or two of meat for them, as they joyn'd him in Patent with Mo­mus, [Page 13] and made him Superintendent of all their Sports and Recreations: So as, onely changing Place and Persons, he is now in as good Condi­tion as he was before; and lives the same Life there, as he did here.