YOu command me to give you mi­nute account of what I observed, and how I passed that little time which I latel y spent in England; a Country, whose Character you so greatly desire to be infor­m'd [Page 2] of, in a conjuncture (as you rightly deduce) of so strange vicissitude, and wonderful alterations; And to whom, my Lord, should I more readily submit? First, encouraged to make this excursion by your Ld. as who had formerly beheld, and so much ad­mir'd the splendor and magnificence of this Court, and Kingdom in its grea­test Acme and lustre. But, my Lord, I cannot imagine, that you should esteeme me either of years, or ca­pacity to inform You whose judgement is so mature, and correspondence so uni­versall, [Page 3] as that there is no­thing which can escape your cognizance, not onely in that Island, but in all the world besides. But since you oblige me not to dip into the transactions of State, the effects of Providence, Time, Notices of a superiour Orbe, and in which you cannot be instructed by so weak an instrument as your Ser­vant; and demand onely the little Remarkes of my hasty, and desultory Pere­grination; though I cannot pretend to improve your Lordships knowledge, yet I may hope to give it di­version, [Page 4] and an Essay of my Obedience.

It must be avowed that England is a sweet, and fertill Country.

Terra potens armis, atque ubere gleba:

That the Fields, the Hills, and the Vallies are perpetually clad with a glorious, and agreeable verdure; that her provisi­ons are plentifull; her staples important; and her interest very considerable; not omitting the most beau­tifull Ladies, I had almost said, of the world, but for a just respect due to the illustrious Circles of our [Page 5] Court, where the beauties of conversation, so far tran­scend the tinctures of Lil­lies and Roses. But these, my Lord, are not the Me­moires which you demand; I will therefore hasten to my Post.

After a short passage from Calais, we came on shore at Dover, where the people of the Town enter­tain'd us with such suspici­ous, and forbidding counte­nances, whispering, and stiff postures, that I should never have believed so great a difference in the addresses of two Nations, could have been produced [Page 6] by so short a trajection, and in a Port continually ac­custom'd to the faces of strangers, had not the contrary humours of our contiguous neighbours, the Spaniards, made it possible, in so many pleasant in­stances. But I was ama­zed, when we had taken Post, and scarce out of the Village, at the acclamations of the Boys, running after, and affrighting our horses, hooting, and crying out, French Dogs, French Dogs, a Mounser, Mounser! by a particular expression of welcome, which other people would interpret de­rision; [Page 7] But in this Triumph (though somewhat late e're we set out of Dover) we at­tain'd as far as Rochester the first night, where, how new a thing it appeared to me, to see my confident Host set him down cheek by joul by me, belching, and puffing Tabacco in my face, you may easily ima­gine; till I afterwards found it to be the usuall stile of this Country; and that the Gentlemen, who lodge at their Inns, enter­tain themselves in their company, and are much pleas'd with their imperti­nencies: Arriv'd at the [Page 8] Metropolis of civility, London, we put our selves in Coach with some persons of quality, who came to conduct us to our Lodging; but neither was this passage without honours done to us, the kennel dirt, squibs, roots and rams-hornes be­ing favours which were frequently cast at us by the children, and appren­tises without reproofe; ci­vilities, that in Paris, a Gen­tleman as seldome meets withall, as with the contests of Carmen, who in this Town domineer in the streets, o're-thow the Hell-Carts (for so they name [Page 9] the Coaches) cursing, and reviling at the Nobles: You would imagine your self amongst a Legion of De­vils, and in the suburbs of Hell. I have greatly won­dred at the remisness of the Magistrate, and the temper of the Gentlemen, and that the Citizens, who subsist onely upon them, should permit so great a disorder, rather joyning in the af­fronts, than at all chastizing the inhumanity: But these are the naturall effects of parity, popular Liberti­nism, and Insulary man­ners.

I find, as you told me, my [Page 10] Lord, London to be a Town so nobly Situated, and upon such a River, as Eu­rope certainly shews not a more usefull and agreeable; but withall this, a City con­sisting of a wooden, nor­thern, and inartificiall congestion of Houses; some of the principall streets so narrovv, as there is nothing more deformed, and unlike, than the pro­spect of it at a distance, and its asymmitry vvithin the Walls. Their Fountains, vvhich are the pride and grace of our streets, and plentifully supplyed in this City, are here immur'd, [Page 11] to secure the vvaters from, I know not vvhat, impuri­ties: but, certainly, it do's greatly detract from the beauty of the Carfours, and intercepts the vievv.

Amongst the peices of modern Architecture, I have never observ'd above tvvo, which were remarkable in this vast City: The Portico of the Church of S. Pauls, and the Banqueting house at White-hall, of vvhich I remember to have heard your Lordship speak: but you would be amaz'd at the genious of this age, that should suffer this goodly and venerable fabrick,[Page 12] to be built about, and converted into raskally Ware-Houses, and so sor­didly obscur'd and defac'd, that an argument of greater avarice, malice, meanness and deformity of minde cannot possibly be expres­sed: Nothing here of Or­nament, nothing of magni­ficence, no publique and honourable works, such as render our Paris, and other Cities of France, renow­ned, and visited by all the World; emulating even Italy her self, for her Pa­laces, uniform and conspi­cuous Structures: But O! how lothsome a Golgotha is [Page 13] this Paul's! I asure your Lordship, that England is the sole spot in all the world, where, amongst Christians, their Churches are made jakes, and stables, markets and Tipling-hou­ses; and where there were more need of Scorpions, than Thongs, to drive out the Publicanes and Money-Changers: In sum, where these excellent uses, are pre­tended to be the markes of Piety and Reformation.

I had sometimes the cu­riosity to visite the several Worships of these Equivo­cal Christians, and Enthu­siasts: But I extreamly [Page 14] wondred to [...]nd those whom they call Presbyteri­ans, and that would imitate us of the Religion in France, and Geneva, to have their Discipline so confused and different. In this remarke, my Lord, to be somewhat more particular, you will not be displeas'd; because it was a thing you so much recommended to my e­speciall notice. Form, they observe none: They pray and read without method, and indeed, wtithout reve­rence or devotion. I have beheld a whole Congregati­on sit on their-with their hats on, at the reading of [Page 15] Psalms, and yet bare-hea­ded when they sing them. In divers places they read not the Scriptures at all; but up into the Pulpit, where they make an insi­pid, tedious and immetho­dical Prayer, in Phrases and a tone so affected and mysterious, that they give it the name of Canting, a tearm by which they do u­sually expresse the gibbrish of Beggars and Vaga­bonds; after which, there follows the Sermon (which for the most part, they read out of a book) consisting (like their prayers) of spe­culative and abstracted no­tions, [Page 16] and things, which, nor the people nor them­selves well understand: But these they extend to an ex­traordinary length, and Pharisaical repetitions: and well they may: for their Chaires are lined with prodigious Velvet cushions, upon which they loll, and talke, 'till almost they sleep; I am sure, 'till their Auditors do.

The Minister uses no habit of distinction, or gravity; but steps up in querpo; and when he laies by his cloak (as I have observed some of them) he has the action rather of a Thrasher, than [Page 17] a Divine; this they call taking pains, and indeed it is so, to those that hear them: But, thus they have now encouraged every pert Mechanick to invade, af­front and out-preach them; and having uncancell'd all manner of decency, pro­stituted both their persons and function to usurpa­tion, penury and derision. You may well imagine by the manners of the people, and their prodigious opi­nions, that there is no Ca­techism, nor Sacraments duely administred: The Religion of England is Preaching, and sitting stil [Page 18] on Sundaies. How they Baptitse I know not, be­cause the Congregation is dismissed, and they agree in no form; and for the other Sacraments, no man gives, or receives alike; and it is so seldome done in remembrance of Christ, that in some Parishes, I have heard, they can hardly remember when they received it. General­ly I have no where seen goodlier out-sides of Churches, what they are within I cannot so well say, for their Temples are as fast as was that of Janus after the first Punick-war, [Page 19] unless it be upon Sundaies, when they blow the bra­zen Trumpets of Sedition, not the silver-ones of the Tabernacle. I have discoursed with some concer­ning this sealing up their Churches in the week­daies; They are ready to retorte upon us in France, not considering that our Churches are solitary, and in some places many leagues distant from the Towns, that we are under a persecution, & so necessita­ted to omit the publique Morning and Evening Sa­crifie, which I remember to have heard severall of [Page 20] our Divines deplore the defect of; as of many o­ther decencies, which, here, they can have no pretence against: But such of their Churches as I have fre­quented, were dammed up with Pues, every three or four of the Inhabitants, sit­ting in narrow Pounds or Pulpits by themselves; for they are all turn'd Prea­chers [...]ow. In short, there is nothing more unlike to our reformed Churches in France, and I think, in all Europe beside; the appre­hension of Popery, or fond­ness to their own imagina­tions, having carryed them [Page 21] so far to the other extream, that they have now lost all moderation, and decorum; And I have been herein, my Lord the more indu­strious to inform my self of each particular; because it seemes yet to be the most publique Religion of the State. Some of their own party, I have heard deplore this confusion, but certain­ly, they themselves gave the first occasion to these monstrous Liberties, by a rigid, and uncharitable discipline; primarily (it seemes) introduced by the Scots, and so refined upon by these; as there are few [Page 22] or none that will submit to the Tyrany; but every one takes his own course, and has protection for it. Some well natur'd abused men I have met withall a­mongst them; but, if I mis­take not, for the greater in­gredient, ambitious, igno­rant, overweening, sower and uncharitable, ne quid asperius, combining with the interest of the times, and, who to render them­selves powerfull, have in compliances with the spi­ritual pride of the Mecha­nicks and Corporations, conniv'd at those many, and prodigious Schismes and [Page 23] Heresies which are now spawn'd under them in such numbers, as give terrour to the State. I omit to tell your Lord-ship that few take notice of the Lords Prayer; it is esteemed a kind of weakness to use it, but the Creed and the De­calogue are not once heard of in their Congregations; This is milke for Babes, and these are all Giants. They do frequently solemnize their late National deliver­ances, and some daies of Christian blood shed with all possible severity: But they think it gross Idolatry to joyn with the whole [Page 24] Christian Church of all pro­fessions under heaven, in the Anniversaries of our B. Saviours Incarnation, Passion, Resurrection, and the descent of the Holy Ghost, spirituall, eternall and never to be forgotten mercies. Would your Lord­ship believe that this mad­ness should advance so far, as to disturbe the French-Church there, which you know, do's in all places ob­serve those signall delive­rances & blessings, both by Preaching, Prayer, Sacra­ments and exhortations ap­posite to the occasion? What think you will be the [Page 25] issue of this goodly Refor­mation? I could tell you of the mysterious Classis, of the Tryers; their ridicu­lous, insidiary and pre­sumptuous questions; their unheard of animosities a­gainst their Brethern of the Church of England, suffer­ing themselves to be rather torn in sunder by the Se­ctaries, Demetrius and the Crafts-men, whilst they contend about trifles and meer shadows.

Concerning the Indepen­dents, all I can learn is; They are a refined, and apostate sort of Presbyters; or, rather such as renounce [Page 26] all ordination, as who hav­ing preached promiscuous­ly to the people, ct cuning­ly ensnar'd a select num­ber of rich, & ignorant Pro­selytes, separate themselves into Conventicles, which they name Congregations. There is nothing do s more resemble this Sect, than our Rom. Missionaries sent out in partibus Infidelium; for they take all other Chri­stians to be Heathen. These are those great pretenders to the Spirit, into whose party do's the vilest person living, no sooner adscribe himself, but he is, ipso facto, dub'd a Saint, hallow'd, [Page 27] and dear to God. These, are the confidents, who can design the minute, the place and the means of their con­version: a Schism full of spiritual-disdain, incharity and high imposture, if any such there be on earth: But every alteration of State, destroying the interest of the versatile contrivers, they are as ready to Trans­migrate into the next more thriving Fraternity, as the Souls of Pythagoras into beasts, and may then per­haps, assume some other Title. This is a sad, but serious truth, and no little menaces the common Chri­stianity, [Page 28] unless timely pre­vented. But Sr. I will no longer tire your patience with these Monsters (the subject of every contemp­tuous Pamphlet) then with the madness of the Anabap­tists, Quakers, fift Monar­chy-men and a Cento of unheard of Heresies besides, which, at present, deform the once renowned Church of England; and approach so little the pretended Re­formation, which we in France have been made to believe, that there is no­thing more heavenly wide. But I have dwelt too long on this remarke, I return [Page 29] to where I digressed; for I was veiwing the Buildings, which are as deformed as the minds & confusions of the people, for if a whole street be fired (an accident not unfrequent in this wooden City) the Magi­strate has either no power, or no care to make them build with any uniformity, which renders it, though a large, yet, a very ugly Town, pestred with Hack­ney-coaches, and insolent Carre men, Shops and Ta­verns, Noyse, and such a cloud of Sea-coal, as if there be a resemblance of Hell upon Earth, it is in this [Page 30] Vulcano in a foggy day: This pestilent Smoak, which corrodes the very yron, and spoils all the moveables, leaving a soot upon all things that it lights; and so fatally seiz­ing on the Lungs of the In­habitants, that the Cough, and the Consumption spare no man. I have been in a spacious Church where I could not discern the Mi­nister for the Smoak; nor hear him for the peoples barking. There is within this City, and in all the Towns of England (which I have passed through) so prodigious a number of [Page 31] houses where they sell a certain drink called Ale, that I think a good halfe of the Inhabitants may be de­nominated Ale house-kee­pers: These are a meaner sort of Cabarets: But what is most deplorable, where the Gentlemen sit, and spend much of their time; drinking of a muddy kinde of Beverage, and Tobacco, which has universally be­sotted the Nation, and at which (I hear) they have consumed many noble E­states. As for other Ta­verns, London is compos'd of them, where they drink Spanish Wines, and other [Page 32] sophisticated Liquors to that fury and imtempe­rance, as has often amaz'd me to consider it: But thus some mean fellow, the Drawer, ar [...]ves to an Estate, some of them having built fair houses, and purchased those Gentlemen out of their possessions, who have ruined themselves by that base and dishonourable vice of ebriety: And that no­thing may be wanting to the height of luxury and impiety of this Abomina­tion, they have translated the Organs out of the Chur­ches, to set them up in Ta­verns, chanting their Dithy­rambicks, [Page 33] and bestiall Bac­chanalias to the tune of those Instruments, which were wont to assist them in the clebration of God's Praises, and regulate the voices of the worst singers in the World, which are the English in their Chur­ches at present: I cannot but commend the Reformed in Holland, who still retain their Organs in the Chur­ches, and make use of them at the Psalms, without any opinion of superstition; and I once remember to have heard the famous Diodati wish might be introduced even at Geneva. A great [Page 34] errour undoubtedly in those who sit at the helme, to per­mit this Scandal; to suffer so many of these Taverns and occasions of intemper­ance, such Leaches and Vi­pers; to gratifie so sordid and base a sort of People with the spoils of honest, and well natur'd men. Your L. will not believe me that the Ladies of greatest quality, suffer themselves to be treated in one of these Taverns, where a Curtesan in other Cities would scarcely vouchsafe to be entertain'd: but you will be more asto­nish't when I shall assure you, that they drink their [Page 35] crowned Cups roundly, strain healths through their Smocks, daunce after the Fiddle, kiss freely, and tearm it an honourable Treat. But all this my ex­perience, particular address, and habitudes with the greatest of that Nation has assur'd me, that it is not the pass time onely of the infe­riour and meretricious sort; since I find it a cheif sup­pletory at all their entertain ments, to drink excessive­ly, and that in their own houses, before the Ladies, and the Lacquaes: It is the afternones diversion; whe­ther for want of better to [Page 36] employ the time, or affecti­on to the drink, I know not: But I have found some persons of quality, whom one could not safely visite after dinner, without resol­ving to undergo this Drink­ordel, and endure the Que­stion: It is esteem'd a piece of wit, to make a man drunk, for In France they give a certain torture to Male­factors, by pour­ing such a quan­tily of water in­to their mouths which they call giving the question, and I by Traslation Drink Ordell. which some swilling insi­pid client or Congiarie, is a frequent and constant adju­tant. Your L: may hence well imagine, [Page 37] how heavy, dull and insig­ficant the conversation is; loud, querelous and imper­tinent. I shall relate a story that once happened in my presence at a Gentlemans house in the Country, where there was much company and feasting. I fortun'd to come at dinner-time, and after the cloth was taken away (as the manner is) they fell to their laudable exer­cise: But I unacquainted then with their custome, was lead up into a with­drawing Room, where I had the permission (with a noble person who introduced me) to sit and converse [Page 38] with the Ladies, who were thither retired; the Gentle. of the house leaving us in the mean time, to entertain his freinds below: But you may imagine how strangely I was astonish'd, to see within an hour after, one of the company that had dined there, entering into the Room all bloody, and disorder'd, to fetch a svvord vvhich lay in one of the vvindovves, and three or four of his companions, vvhom the fumes of the Wine had inspirited, pur­suing, and dragging him by the hair, till in this confu­sion, one of their Spurs [Page 39] engaged into a Carpet, up­on which stood a very fair Looking-Glass, and two noble pieces of Porselain, drew all to the ground, brake the Glass and the Va­sas in pieces; and all this on such an instant, that the Gentleman and my self, had much ado to rescue the affrighted Ladies from suffering in the tumult; but at last we prevail'd, and brought them to tearms, the quarrel con­cerning an Health onely, which one of them would have shifted. I don't re­member my Lord, ever to have known (or very [Page 40] rarely) a health drank in France, no not the Kings; and if we say A Vostre sante Monsier, it neither expects pledge, or ceremony. 'Tis here so the custome to drink to every one at the Table, that by the time a Gentleman has done his duty to the whole com­pany, he is ready to fall a­sleep, whereas with us, we salute the whole Table with a single glass onely. But, my Lord, was not this, imagine you, an admirable Scene and very extraordi­nary? I confess, the Lady of the house being much out of countenance at [Page 41] what had hapned, profered to excuse this disorder and I was as ready to receive it, till several encounters confirmed me, that they were but too frequent, and that there was a sort of perfect Debauchees, who stile themselves Hectors, that in their mad and un­heard of Revels, pierce their veins to quaff their own blood, which some of them have drank to that excess, that they died of the intem­perance: These are a pro­fessed Atheistical order of Braves, compos'd for the most of Cadets, who spend­ing beyond their pensions, [Page 42] to supply their extrava­gancies, practise now and then the high-way, where they sometimes borrow that which they often re­pay at the Gibbet; an igno­minious trade, unheard of amongst our Gallant Noblesse; however for­tune reduce them. But I know not whether I might not here match these valiant Heroes with an avow'd society of Ladies, and some of them not of the meanest for birth (I even blush to recount it of that fair Sex) who boast of making all advantages at play, and are become so [Page 43] dextrous at it, that seldome they make a sitting, with­out design and booty: For there is here, my Lord, no such thing as courtship af­ter the decent mode of our Circles; for either being mingled in a room, the Gentlemen separate from the conversation of the Ladies, to drink, as before I related; or else, to whis­per with one another at some corner or Bay-win­dow, abandoning the Ladies to Goship by themselves, which is a custome so strange to a Gallant of our Nation, as nothing appears more barbarous and un­becoming; [Page 44] and this in ef­fect must needs be the rea­son, that those beautifull Creatures can so little fur­nish, that they want assu­rance, address, and the char­ming discourse of our Da­moiseles, which are faculties so shining, and agreeable in their Sex with us in France: and in truth, even the Gentlemen themselves, are greatly defective as to this particular, ill Cour­tiers, unplyant, morose and of vulgar address; ge­nerally, not so polished, free and serene, as is universally found even amongst the most inferiour of our Na­tion. [Page 45] I am not ignorant that they impute it to a certian levity in us; but it is a mi­stake in them, and that be­cause they so hardly re­form it, without some ri­diculous affectation, as is conspicuous in their seve­ral Modes and Dresses, which they vary ten times for our once; eve [...]y one af­fecting something particu­lar; as having no standard at C [...]urt, which should give Lawes, and do coun­tenance to the fashion. The Women are much af­fected with Gaudry, there be­ing nothing more frequent, than to see an antient Ladie [Page 46] wear colours, a thing which neither young, nor old of either Sex do with us, save in the Country, and the Camp; but Wi­dows at no time. And yet reprove they us for these exorbitances; but I have often disputed the case: Either we do ill, or well; if ill, why then do they ape us? if well, why do they reproach us? The truth is, they have no modera­tion, and are neither so lucky, nor frugal as our Ladies are in these sump­tuary expenses; and where­of the Magistrate [...]akes so little cognisance, that it is [Page 47] not an easie matter to di­stinguish the Lady from the Chamber-Maid; Servants being suffered in this brave Country, to go clad like their Mistrisses, a thing neither decent, nor per­mitted in France, where they may wear neither lace, nor silke.

I may not forget to ac­acquaint your Lordship. that though the Ladies and the Gentlemen are so shy of one another; yet when once they grow acquain­ted, it passes into expres­sions, and compellations extreamly new to our u­sages, and the stile of our [Page 48] Country: Do but imagine how it would become our Ladys to call Mons. N. Jack. N. what more frequent than this? Tom P. was here to day; I went ye­sterday to the A place neer Paris, like Hide-parke. Cours with will. R. and Harry M trea­ted me at such a Taverne: These are the particular idioms, and gracefull con­fidences now in use; in. troduced I conceive at first by some Camerades one with another; but it is mean and rude, and such as our Lacquais would al­most disdain in Paris, [Page 49] where I have often obser­ved two Chimny-Sweepers accost one another, in better forms, and civiller addresses. But to be con­fident and civill, is not a thing so easily understood, and seems a peculiar talent of our Nation.

However the Ladies are not more obliging, & fami­liar than the L. are difficult & inaccessible; for though by reason of my Birth, and quality, my recommendati­ons and addresses, I found some tolerable reception amongst th [...]m; yet I ob­serv'd, that they kept at such a surly dstance with [Page 50] the Gentlemen, even of Family, that me thought I never beheld a ruder conversation; especially, when comparing their parts, and educations, I found them generally so much inferiour, as if a Lord were indeed other than a Gentleman; or a Gentleman not a fit com­panion for a King: But this must needs be the re­sult of an ill, and haughty institution, and for that most of these great persons are in their minority, and the age wherein they should be furnished with the noblest impressions, [Page 51] taught onely to converse with their servants, some Sycophants, and under the regiment of a Pedant, which imprints that scorn­fulness and folly, and fits them with no better forms when they should produce themselves, and give testi­mony to others as well of their superiority in vertue, as in birth and dignity. But this is my Lord a particu­lar, which I have heard you often complain of, and which we do frequently take notice of at their com­ing abroad into our Coun­try; where for want of address, and fit persons to [Page 52] introduce them, they sel­dome return more refined than they came; else they could not but have obser­ved, that there is nothing which makes the distincti­on of Nobles in France, but the Title, and that his Ma­jesty himself do's them the honours, which here they usurpe upon their equalls: But, my Lord, they are suf­ficiently punished for it in England: where, to me they appear so degenerate, for want of this humility and free conversation, by which, and their other vices, they grow now so much despised, that the [Page 53] Gentlemen need seek no revenge; for though (as I told you) the Gentlemen are most of them very in­temperate, yet the Proverb goes, As drunk as a Lord. But, my Lord, as there is no rule so generall, but it do's admit of exceptions, so should I give my own experience, as well as your Lordships the contradicti­on, to make the censure universal; there being even amongst these, some sew, and in particlar my L. N. and N. &c. whom I esteeme to be very noble, and accomplished persons, as who have learned (by [Page 54] the good fortune of a bet­ter education) how to va­luc the conversations of worthy men, and who in­deed, do sufficiently verifie all those attributes which are due to their qualities, and therefore whom this Paragraph doth no waies concern.

Nor should I be less severe and unjust, totally to ex­clude even some of the La­dies from the advantages of this Period, whose perfecti­ons & vertues, claim an e­qual right to all that I have here spoken, out of a due resentiment of their me­rites and excellencies.

[Page 55] It was frequently, du­ring the last Winter, that I was carried to their Balls, as where indeed I hoped to see what should appear the most of gallant and splen­did amongst the Ladies, nor really did my expectations deceive me; for there was a confluence of very great beauties, to which the glistring of their jewells, (which upon these occasi­ons they want not) could add nothing save their weight; the various ha­bites being so particular, as if by some strange In­chantment, they had en­countled, and come out of [Page 56] several Nations: But I was astonished to see, when they were ready to move, that a Dancing-Master had the boldness to take forth the greatest Ladies, and they again the Dan­cing-Master, who perfor­med the most part of the Ball, whilst the Gentlemen, that were present, were the least concerned, and stood looking on; so as it ap­pear'd to me, more like the Farce of a Comedy at the The p [...]y, at Paris, as once ours at Black-Friers. Hostel de Bour­gogne, than a Ball of the Noblesse, and in truth, their measures, [Page 57] when any of them were taken out, made me some­what ashamed to lead a Lady who did me the ho­nour, for fear (though my skill be very vulgar in that exercise) they should have taken me for a Dan­cing Master, as who had, happly imploy'd my youth so ill, as to have some ad­vantage of the rest in that faculty. This favour is particular to the Dancing-Masters in this Country; and reason good; for they ride in their Coaches, and have such ample Salaries, as maintains both their prodigality, and an inso­lence [Page 58] that were insuppor­table in France, where these trifling fellows do better know themselves, are worse payed, and less presumptuous. Nay, so re­miss are the Ladies of their respect in this instance, that they not onely entertain all this; but permit them­selves likewise to be invi­ted, and often honour these impertinent Fanta­sticks, by receiving the Ball at their petty Schools.

When this Ceremony was ended, some of the Gallants fell to other re­creations, and as far as I understood, were offering [Page 59] at that innocent, yet salt and pleasant diversion, which in France are called Ralliarie; but so far were they from maintaining it within the decencies, and Laws, which both in that, and our Cha­racters A wittie, & a civil descrip­tion of one anothers persons we ob­serve; that in a little time, they fell so upon personal abusing one another, that there was much ado to preserve the peace, and as I heard, it was the next day, the product of a qua­rel, and a Duell.

I did frequently in the spring, accompany my [Page 60] Lord N. into a field near the Town, which they call Hide-Parke; the place not unpleasant, & which they use, as our Course; but with nothing that order, equipage and splendor, be­ing such an assembly of wretched jades, and Hack­ney Coaches, as next a Re­giment of Carre-men, there is nothing approaches the resemblance. This Parke was (it seemes) used by the late King, and Nobility for the freshness of the Air, and the goodly pro­spect: but it is that which now (besides all other ex­cises) they pay for here [Page 61] in England, though it be free in all the World be­side; every Coach and Horse which enters, buy­ing his mouthfull, and per­mission of the Publicane, who has purchased it, for which the entrance is guar­ded with Porters and long Staves.

The manner is, as the company returns, to alight at the Spring Garden, so called, and in order to the Parke, as our Thuilleries is to the Course; the inclosure not disagreable, for the sollemness of the Grove, the warbling of the Birds, and as it opens into the [Page 62] spacious Walks at St. James's: but the company walk in it at such a rate, as you would think all the Ladies were so many Ata­lanta's, contending with their Wooers; and my Lord there was no appearance that I should prove the Hippomenes, who could with very much ado, keep pace with them: But as fast as they run, they stay there so long, as if they wanted not time to finish the Race; for it is usuall here, to find some of the young company till mid­night; and the Thickets of the Garden seeme to be [Page 62] contrived to all advanta­ges of Gallantry, after they have been refreshed with the Collation, which is here seldome om [...]tted, at a cer­taine Cabaret in the middle of this Paradise; where the forbidden fruites are cer­taine trifling Tartes, Neates­tongu's, Salacious meates, and bad Rhe [...]ish; for which the Gallants pay Sauce, as indee [...] they do at all such house throughout Eng­land; for they think it a price of frugality beneath them, to bargaine, or ac­compt for what they eat in any place however unrea­sonably impos'd upon;

[Page 63] But thus, those meane fel­lowes are (as I told your Lordship) inriched; beg­ger, and insult over the Gentlemen. I am assur'd that this particular Host, has purchased, within few years, 5000 livers 500. per. Ann of our monies: of annuall rent; and well he may, at the rates these Prodigalls pay; whereas, in France, a Gentleman esteemes it no diminution to mannage even these expences with reason. But my Lord, it is now late, and time to quit this Garden, and to tell you, that I think there is not a more illustrious sight [Page 64] in the World, than to meet the Divinities of our Court marching up the long walk in the Thuilleries, where the pace is so stayed and grave, the encounters so regular and decent; and where those who feed their eyes with their beauties, and their cares with the charming accents of their discourse and voyces, need not those refreshments of the other Senses, finding them all to be so taken up with these.

I was curious before my returne, and when I had conquer'd some difficul­ties of the language, and [Page 65] Customes, to visite their Ju­dicatures; where, besides that few of their Gown-men are to be compared to those of the Robe in our Palais [...]or elocuti­on, Where they p [...]ead as at Westminster. and the talent of well speaking; so neither do they at all exceed them in the formes & colours of their Pleading; but (as before I spake of their Ralliary) supply the defects of the cause, with flat, insipide & grossely abusing one ano­ther; a thing so trifling, and misbecoming the gra­vity of Courts (where the Lawyers take liberty to [Page 66] jeast mens estates away, & yet avow their avarice) that I have much admired at the temper of the Judg­es, and their remissenesse in reforming it: There was a young Person, whom at my being there, was very much cried up for his abil­lities, and in whom I did not observe that usuall in­temperance, which I but now reproved; and cer­tainly, it springs either for want of those abillities which the Municipall Lawes of this Nation (con­sisting most of them in Customes like our Norman­dy, whose antient dialect [Page 67] their books yet retaine) are so little apt to furnish; or the defect of those ad­vantages, which the more pollished Sciences afford us without which, it is impossi­ble to be good Orators, & to maintaine their dis­courses, without diversion to that vile impertinency.

But what is infinitly a­greable in this Country, are the Bowling-Greens, and the Races, which are really such pleasures abroad, as we have nothing approach­es them in France, and which I was extreamly delighted in; but the Ver­dure of the Country, and [Page 68] delicious Downes it is, which renders them this praeheminence, and indeed, it is to be valued, and doth in my esteeme, very much commute for the lesse be­nignity of that glorious Planet, which ripens our Vines in France.

The Horses, and the Doggs, their incomparable Parkes of Fallow-deer, and lawes of Chase, I extream­ly approve of; but upon other occasions, all Eng­lishmen ride so fast upon the Road, that you would swear there were some e­nemy in the ariere; and all the Coaches in London, [Page 69] seeme to drive for Mid­wives.

But what did much more afflict me, is their cerimo­ny at Table, where every man is obliged to sit tell all have done eating, how­ever their appetites differ, and to see the formality of the Voider, which our Withdrawing-roomes in France are made to pre­vent, and might so here, if they knew the use of them, to be, that every man may tile when he has din'd, without the least indecen­cy, and leave the Sewers to their Office.

I have now but a word to [Page 70] add, and that is the tedious­nesse of Visits, which they make here so long, that it is a very tyranny to sit to so little purpose: If the Persons be of Ladys that are strangers, it is to look upon each other, as if they had never seen any of their own kina before; and here indeed the virtue of their Sex is eminent; for they are as silent and fixt as Statue's; Or if they do talk, it is with censure, and sufficient confidence: so difficult it is, to Entertaine with a grace, or to observe a mediocrity.

In Summe, my Lord, I [Page 71] found so many particulars worthy of reproofe in all those Remarkes which I have been able to make; That to render you a veri­table account of England, as it is at present, I must pronounce, with the Poet.