The ESSEX BALLAD.
To an old Tune new reviv'd.
IN Essex much renown'd for Calves,
And giving Verdicts in by halves,
For Oysters, Agues, and for Knaves
of Faction.
One Peer, and Men of Worship four,
With Gentlemen some half a score,
Did draw in ten Dutch Ells of Bore
to Action
The Squire, whose Name does famous grow
As Marcus Tullius Cicero,
And keeps true Time with Sir A—
—A—
As freely gave himself his Hand,
As once his Voice to rule the Land,
By such as should not understand
too rashly.
The Rout that erst did roar so loud;
A M—and a H—
Are of their Choice now grown so proud,
you'd wonder:
And these State-Tinkers must be sent
To stop the Leaks of Government,
Grown crazy now, and almost rent
in sunder.
His Honour first set all his Hands,
Each Members next in order stands;
The Rabble, without If's or And's,
subscratch it.
The Cause, not obsolete, though old,
Like Insects lay in Winter cold,
And warm Petitions (they were told)
would hatch it.
Corn bore a price in Cromwel's days,
Nor did we want a vent for Bays;
Nay, even Calves were several ways
advanced:
And then we fear'd not wicked Plots;
The Godly serv'd to cut our Throats,
Though Agents for the Pope, as Oates
and Prance said.
Those Reasons did so much prevail,
That they petition'd Tooth and Nail,
To have the Soveraign strike Sail,
and stand by:
While th' Parliament had sate some years,
To drive out Pope with Presbyters,
And try the Babylonish Peers,
and Danby.
For how can Corn and Wool be dear,
Since Popish Lords drink little Beer,
Eat Fish, and very seldom wear
our Woollen?
Nay, even their Horses are afraid
Of Treason in the Manger laid;
And the King's Evidence dismay'd
their Pullen.
These Greivances, with others many,
(Too long for Ballad of a Peny)
Drove on a Herd of Clowns to any
adventure.
Those Brands, which in the days of Yore,
Uumanufactur'd Parchment bore;
And when Farms lett, sign'd heretofore
Indenture.
In Hieroglyphick rows were set
Like Oriental Alphabet;
And least the King should quite forget
the Senate,
Their Hinds lay whip and whistling by,
Humbly to councel Majesty;
And what they could not read, would try
to Pen at.
The Milk-maid hop'd old comfort's in't,
Since Bodkins once did Breeches Mint,
And straight subscrib'd their Butter-print
to Creamer:
But these were all but single gains,
And hardly worth their toyl and pains,
The Cause wants vigour, and disdains
a Dreamer.
This dallying therefore to prevent,
An Anti-popish Bull was sent,
The Emblem of the Government,
to baiting:
Where Butchers, Tinkers, Ostlers go,
Tapsters and Broom-men all a row;
And Carters for the sport left Ho
and Haiting.
Th' unanswerable Scotch-Cloth Men,
Taps, Sives, Chairs, and Coney-skin,
Beggers and Boys all throng'd, and then
Egyptians.
This Honourable Covey met,
Hedge draws the Members Setting-Net,
And gets from all, without Regret,
Subscriptions.
When this great Council was dismiss'd,
They found that several Yards of Fist
Were wanting to compleat the List;
and order'd,
Seven Elders to disperse the Deed,
To those of the Geneva Creed,
Brethren to such as on the Tweed
are border'd.
These trudg'd a Conventicling,
To pray the Lord, and beg the King,
The Congregation sign'd the thing
Sans Scruple
Those Scholars that could write, they bribe
To prompt and proxy every side;
And these did personally subscribe
Cextuple.
But now the time draws on apace,
And Member itches for his place,
The Knights and Gentlemen five brace
assemble:
And brought the Muster-Roll to Court,
Though Charles did hardly thank 'em for't;
But made 'em with a sharp retort
to tremble.
Now God preserve our King and Queen
From Pyebald Coats, and Ribons green;
Let neither Knave nor Fool be seen
about 'em:
And those that will not say Amen,
Let 'em Petition once again,
For every one the Shire has, ten
to rout 'em.
FINIS.
Printed at LONDON, in the Year 1680.