IT was a Bleſſed Eaſter (Brethren,) that raiſed me up again to this Ponderous Service; and if any Feaſt be Worthy of Annual Solemnity, my Vote is, That the Feaſt of Eaſter (though Moveable) ſhall ſtand faſt for ever. Antiquity tells me, That the Office Gardiani Eccleſiae, is an Office inſtituted and dignified by the Fundamental, Known, Common, and Statute Laws of this Kingdom; (as for the Civil and Canon Laws, I have held them execrable, ever ſince the High-Commiſſion departed with a Duck in the Mouth on't, and the Impoſition of the Sacred Solemn League and Covenant) and this Honour is not to be conferred upon any, but ſuch as are Judicious and Fidele, and able to employ (Couragiouſly, Sincerely and Conſcientiouſly) the Common Stock of Treaſure, and Diſcretion belonging to the Pariſh.

It is not, I conceive, yet out of Your Memory, how accurately I heretofore ſteer'd the Affairs of Parochial Government; nor out of Mine, with what Alacrity you ſubmitted to it. My Deportment then (correſpondent to Thoſe Times) was a fair Character of Square Dealing; and was, I preſume, a prime Motive to your Thundring Acclamations, in re-electing me the Principal Reformado of this Eccleſiaſtical Policy. In the exact Execution whereof, I intend with the Aſſiſtance of my younger Brother, (whom I ſhall well Educate for the Next Year) to uſe ſuch Preciſe Diligence, as may caſhiere many Fears and Jealouſies, and ſettle many things (hitherto incompoſed) in ſuch a graceful Poſture, that the Truſt of you, that confide in me, ſhall not in the leaſt Scruple be abuſed. But you muſt remember the Old Word, Diſtingue Tempora; and then (regarding the Turning round of the Times), you will conceive, that the Wind ſits in another Corner; and I muſt move by other Rules, than formerly: for I am now more Spiritually Illuminated, and poſſeſt with Sounder Principles. The Civil-Law is diſregarded, and its Authority and Power ſtoutly diſputed, by our Goliah from Colcheſter, ſo that we ſhall ſee the Canons (Old and New) recoil on the Canoniers; the numerous Army of Articles routed; the Oath ex Officio put out of Office; and the bottomleſs &c Oath is ſwallowed up. The Caſe thus ſtanding, and that you may have a right Ʋnderſtanding of your Moderator, take an Epitome of my Reſolution; but withall, take this four-fold Advertiſement along with you.

I begin with the Weather-cock; which is an imminent, gilded, hollow, craking, comb'd, and variable Creature; and doth ſo wonderfully Sympathize with me in All, and with the preſent Turning Times, in Some ſpecial reſpects, that I do Order it to Continue Statu quo prius; and the Four Fanes adorned with the initial Letters of my unſpotted Name, ſhall be ſedulous Attendants upon it in my Livery, to go which way ſoever it goes.

From the Weather-cock, I ſhould immediately have fallen upon the Leads, but an Iron Croſs hinders me in my way; which (with all other Croſſes moveable) ſhall be aboliſhed, that nothing may go Croſs in our Deſigns.

The Leads I find Prophaned with the Images of corrupt Hands, irregular Feet, and with unſanctified Names; they ſhall therefore be Removed, Purified with Fire, and Converted into Bullets, to button the Boſomes of the Common Adverſary, and to ſeal up the Brazen Foreheads, of the Formidable Tories.

This being Diſpatcht, I have made a fair Thorow-fair to the Bells, which indeed had been out of Frame long ſince, were it not that ſometimes they Ring the Changes (ſweetly conſenting therein with me,) and ſometimes Audaciouſly proclaime an unknown Victory to the Over-credulous, or the Ʋnwelcome Coming of the Tories Alumna, and the like; which inflames all their Zeal and Faggots in an inſtant. There is an Impeachment, as ſtronge as a three-fold Cord, againſt four of the Bells.

Now, judge you, Brethren (who would ſeem, peradventure, to be as wiſe as your Officer in chief) is not Domine Miſerere mei peccatoris, notorious and groſs Idolatry? Are thoſe words fit to be uttered by a Profeſſor, unleſs it be with an Holy Deteſtation of ſuch Puddle? Ah! I ſee by the Devout ſhaking of your Heads, that your Braines are troubled about it, that your Hearts abhor, and ake to think upon ſuch rotten Traſh. Well, it is high time, that theſe four be no longer Hanged, but Drawn and Quarter'd; that they, with the abominable Braſs upon the Monument of our Idolatrous Anceſtors (I paſs not tho an Old Aunt of mine lies mouldring under one of them) may concurr for the making of Ordinance, to batter down the Poſterity of their Donors. The Wheels (being but Hemicircular) ſhall hang there like Meteors between Heaven and Earth; but the Ropes may ſerve the next Seſſions, at the Wooden Tripode, a Mile out of the Town, for the uſe of thoſe that will not Stretch their Endeavours for Whiggiſm, or the Good Old Cauſe. The Liberties of the Dawes, (our Beloved Allies) will by this means, be inlarged; and we will further Confirm their Incorporation, that from time to time they may make ſuch Ordinances, as are Conſiſtent with the Priviledges of their Houſe, and conducible to the Bene eſse of their Common Wealth; keeping their Courts ad Libitum, in the upper Region of the Tower, as we do Here in the Veſtry.

The Clock and Dial, becauſe they go Round, ſhall take their uſual Courſe; only by a Pious Fraud, they ſhall go ſomewhat Earlier in the Morning, and Later at Night, than Truth would admit of; Only to Revenge my ſelf on Three crook-Legg'd Youths of mine, who had rather encounter with a whole Briggade of Whiggs, than move a yards Length againſt a Tory: Rogues, as they are, were out all Night, making Bonefires, and Drinking Hazza's to the Duke; but I'le warrant—

I have dwelt ſomewhat long in the Steeple; Now we will come to Church; where in the Firſt Place, I ſee the Font taking up ſo much roome, that would be capable of two double Taffata Gowns; which, I confeſs, I ſhould not ſo ſtrictly have obſerved, had not the Diſcontented Yoke-Fellows of my Dyer and Hot-Preſſer, which are Crowded up behind the Door, drawn me to it. Away with it; this Font is abominable, a Baſon will be more apt for the Service. And thoſe Lofty Pews, which are higher by the Head and Shoulders, than their Inferiors, ſhall be Circumcized, that our Grave Matrons, and Sweet Heavenly minded Siſters, (whoſe Posture, turning their Faces Weſtward, is moſt Amiable) may have a more chearful Influence upon Us their Governours.

The Pulpit (in reſpect of the Form of it, being almoſt Round) is Tollerable; although my Neighbour Zachary the Cooper (a precious Veſſel) could faſhion out One more ſeemly, and to better purpoſe; but the Situation of it ſhall ſuffer a Reformation, and at the Pariſh Charge it ſhall be ſecured with a Subſtantial Padlock, leſt they, whom the meer Natural Man calls Profound, Pious, Loyal, and Orthodox Divines, ſhould ſawcily any longer intrude it. I can partly tell you the Poor Condition of thoſe ſilly Prieſts: As ſoon as they aſcend the Pulpit, they fall on their Knees for Divine Aſſiſtance, as if they could not be Cock-ſure of it at all times: Then they have a Premeditated Prayer, not much exceeding a quarter of an Hour, wherein they Petition for Peace and Ʋnity, and Pray for Kings, Queens, and Princes, and ſuch like kind of People, (though they know them Popiſh, (as our ſo-much feared Succeſſor is;) and then ſupplicate Our Saviour Chriſt for Choice Bleſſings upon Arch-Biſhops and Biſhops, whom we have found (by the Spirit that we lead about us) to be ſtrongeſt Lambs of Antichriſt. After this Meſs, comes the Sermon; which is the greateſt part of a Weeks Study (Written perhaps over and over) yet may be delivered in an Hour. Their Concluſions, which we are neither able, nor willing to underſtand, are confirmed by Scripture, Fathers, and Reaſon: They conſult with the Original Tongues, and ſuch Authors as are called Authentick and Claſſical, fetching their Water from the Primitive Spring, becauſe they (empty Casks) think they cannot have as pure nearer Home. So, by their great skill in Divinity, gracefully attended (forſooth) with Variety of Humane Learning, they will exhort us to Study to be Quiet, to Try the Spirits, to be Charitable, Moderate, Obedient to the Higher Powers, and to do things According to Order; with a great deal of ſuch hungry thin Stuff. I have utterly done with Them and Theirs; and am heartily over-joyed, that I have ever thought of this Happy Padlock. But of this, more at large by and by in its due Place.

The Pulpit-Cloath was the Legacy of a Blind Zealot, as appears by that Jeſuitical Badge (J. H. S.) upon it; for, as ſome of Our Learned Profeſſors do conceive, J. Signifies Idolatry, H. Hereſy, and S. Superſtition. Oh, here's good Work! What but flat Popery can be expected from a Pulpit apparell do with ſuch a Livery? Theſe Letters of Gold ſhall be delivered to the Finer, to make Silver withall; and the Velvet (becauſe it deſerves a better Wardrobe, and the coſtly Infirmities of the Teſtator ſhould be hidden by our Chriſtian Charity) ſhall be Converted into Window-Cuſhions, for my new Reformed Parlor; where I intend frequently to entertain thoſe Immaculate Aſſemblies, which the Ʋnregenerate call Conventicles.

The Hour-Glaſs ſhall be turned out of Doors; for our Extemporary Teachers, may not keep time with Clock or Glaſs; and ſo, when they are out, (which is not very ſeldome) they can take leiſure to come in again: whereas, they that meaſure their Meditations by the Hour, are often gravelled, by complying with the Sand.

The Communion-Table hath ſince 1660, regained its Antient Name and Sire; and (had I my mind) our nimble joynted Maſs-Prieſts ſhall never be ſuffered to Offer or Cringe there any Longer. But I will be bold with the Round Pillars, that inviron it, (when the Leaprous Superſtition is ſcrapt off) to make an Impregnable Fence for my Hoſpitable Buttery. The Plate that is there ſo Decently placed, I know to what Furnace it might be conveyed, to what Ʋſe and Form converted, and by what Means Multiplied, and faithfully Secured: But there is ſuch a Noli me Tangere upon it, that I dare not finger the Twentieth Part of it. But as for the Velvet-Cloath, adorned with the Jeſuits Badge, and the Silver and Gold Embroidered Glory about it, I ſhall put to a more Sanctified Ʋſe, with the Pulpit-Cloath.

The Organs are of Levitical or Popiſh Inſtitution, and like the breath of a Baſilisk; they deter hence the Two prime Grandees of the Pariſh, (the moſt Celeſtial Almanack-Maker, and the Beſt Tempered Potter, that ever lived by Heaven and Earth. They drown the Virgin-Melody of the Galleries, and Middle Alley, and againſt our Wills bring our Confuſed Notes into Order; Therefore though I adventure my Neck (as that Deſperado did in Worceſter Cathedral, and his Predeceſſour at Cheap-ſide-Croſs) I will ſet them ſuch a flat, that ſhall lay them Breathleſs on the Pavement. This Romiſh Merchandize will yield good Engliſh Coine at Pauls, or the next Cathedral that is not Bankrupt.

The Table of Degrees, Prohibited in Marriage, is obſolete, and ſo is marriage it ſelf, as here it hath been uſed; for I ſee no ground to the contrary: but when all things are Common (as they ought to be) a Man may Marry, whom, when, and how often, as he will. This is a very ſhort, but a ſweet and comfortable Doctrine to you, (my Dear and Attentive Auditory) and ſo the ſudden pricking up of your Eares doth aſſure me.

Let us now take a little ſurvey of our Church-Books: The Bible (which always comes firſt to my ſight and handling) hath a dangerous Apocryphal Obſtruction in the very Bowels of it, which is of a very Malignant Influence upon the whole Body. This is Compoſed of ſuch Hiſtories as bind not our Credence, and Morality which ſhall not be the Rule of our Practice; it muſt needs be preſently Expurged. Yea, the Canon it ſelf, in reſpect of Tranſlation, is not free from Infirmity (and indeed, it is no Marvail, ſince ſo many Mitred Heads had their Heads in the doing of it.) The Geneva Verſion is far beyond it. But Old Hugh Broughton, if he might have been ſuffered, had exceeded them both. A Learned Synod (and what d'ye think of another Aſſembly of Divines, without either Root or Branch of Epiſcopacy?) muſt be the only Aeſculapius, that muſt cure this Evil.

The Errata of the Book of Common-Prayer (as ſome call it) or rather the Lethargy of the Church of England, were they expreſt at Large, would over-bulk the Bible: Yet the Ravenous Eſaus of the World, had rather loſe all their Liberties and Properties (which are their Birth-right) than one Meſs of this Red and Black Pottage. I will not contaminate my Lipps, nor abuſe your chaſt Ears with ſo much as naming any Errors that are in it; but refer you to Rabbi Lewis Hughes (the Glory of the laſt Brittiſh Druides) and divers others, who have already ſmitten this Belphegor under the Fifth Rib. It further behoves us, that the Singing-Pſalmes be reſcued from the Back of ſuch a Monſter, and from thoſe other Humane Inventions, Te Deum, Da Pacem Domine, & Quicunque vult: But whoſoever will that any (but the 150. Pſalms) be continued, may do well, in my Ʋnderſtanding, to defend Robert Wiſedome's, Preſerve us Lord.

There is an Error in John Jewell's Works, but it is an Error with a Witneſs; and although it be Palliated over Jure Divino, yet it is inſtar omnium errorum and hath in it the Spawn of all Abominations: It is beyond pitty, that ſuch a Gemme ſhould be defiled with ſo baſe a Cognizance; He was a Biſhop: The very word Biſhop, (I fear, I offend in naming it ſo often) imparts all the Miſchiefs, that are deſtructive to a Common Church or State. Your Holy Indignation (Brethren) is well expreſſed by the preſent Groanings of your Spirits; but be comforted; for theſe ſtall-fed Lordly Prelates muſt come to their Fatal Banquet. Eraſmus his Paraphraſe hath found the more Favour hitherto at my Hands, becauſe he ſometime wrote a Tract in the praiſe of Fooliſhneſs. But when I remember ſome Popiſh Paſſages in his Colloquies, which I read when I was at Merchant-Taylors-School, I cannot well reſent his Beſt Labours. The Book of Deus et Rex, is a Pamphlet quite out of my Books, meerly for the Oaths-ſake that is in it. Theſe Oaths of Supremacy and Allegiance are binding Things; the Latter was impoſed upon me, when I was a Novice; and it hath ſo hampered me theſe Three Years laſt paſt, that I would fain (if poſſible) caſt off theſe Manacles; for it is almoſt Hell it ſelf, to us Whiggs, to be ſo pinioned.

The Book of Thirty Nine Articles is in many things diametrically Oppoſite to our Fundamental Principles; it muſt neceſſarily be withdrawn, or farewell our Diana for ever. All the aforenamed Corrupt Volumes ſhall be Tranſlated out of the Church, and all the Iſles thereof into Little Britain, or elſe into Smithfield.

We have but one Manuſcript, (I mean, the Regiſter) and that muſt be Corrected; for the Names of all thoſe that are Croſt in their Baptiſme, Ring'd in their Marriage, or Pray'd over at their Burial, ſhall be cancelled. No Names henceforth ſhall be engroſt, unleſs they were firſt Regiſtred in Holy Writ: Nor will we keep a Record of the Names of Strange Preachers any more; for they may deliver Good Doctrine in the City, who never had Orders, or good Name in the Country.

The Pariſh Caſh yet, is ready to my hand; and I will preſume to ſeize upon a fleece of it, to maintain at the Church Door a guard of Long-taild Vociferadoes; leſt the Conjuring Littany ſhould ruſh in upon the Fourth and Sixth day of the Week (heatheniſhly called Wedneſday & Fryday) that Prayers be not read againſt Pride, Vain Glory and Hypocriſy, &c. And leſt the Babilonian Garment (the Surplice) be ſhoulder'd in amongſt us; for to Profeſſors of our Profeſſion, no Smock is more Odious, than that of the Whore of Rome; nor any Petitions more terrible, than thoſe that would oblitterate our Principal Character.

Some of our dim-ey'd Anceſtors could ſee unhappily, to make their Simplicity Legible upon the Church-Walls, by ſetting up the Lord's Prayer, (as they termed it) which is too narrow a Directory, or Summary of our Petitions: The Ten Commandments, which are not (I conceive) abſolutely Obligatory now under the Goſpel; and the Creed, which is not (I believe) Apoſtolical, nor am I bound to ſtand to't. Theſe ſhall, in Good Manners, give the Wall to Choicer Scriptures; and I will be the Master of the Sentences, to Select them.

The taking down of Popiſh Pictures out of the Windows, and bringing them (by a Legal Tryal), to a Second Martyrdom, was a Laudable and Tranſparent Work of One of my Brother-Church-Wardens. I wonder ſome of our Zealous Predeceſſours, of the Late Times (I mean, Fifty) had not done it, and ſaved him that Labour: But, Nil ſimul inventum & perfectum, Rome was not Built in one Day; nor could they be demoliſht all in one Year, nor Two Years, There are ſome pretty Scandalous Babies ſtill left in Eaſt-Windows of ſome Churches, with trim Coats on, and an Orient Luſtre about their Heads. I remember now, I asked our Sextons Grandam one Day, what they were; and eſpecially, One I took great notice of? She told me, it was our Bleſsed Lady; but truly, if ſhe were my Mother, and as high as Heaven, I will (as Duty binds me) make her kiſs her Mother Earth again. And the Angels on the Roof of the Church (though they coſt Five Shillings a piece the Gilding) ſhall have their Wings clipt, and fall down to ſalute her.

Queen Elizabeths Monument was put up when the Royal Government had fairer credit amongſt us, than now; and her Epitaph was one of my Brother J's beſt Poems, before he abjured the Univerſity, or had a thought of New-England. I have had no ſmall ſtruggling within me, about the Tolleration or Abolition of this Statue; and, at laſt, have reſolved it ſhall continue; but with a Curtain to Vail it, that we may regard or diſregard it at our pleaſure. For methinks, in Forty Four Years Reign, ſhe might (if ſhe pleaſed) have baited the Beaſt of Rome, to better purpoſe, and wrought a more through Reformation; yet, (notwithſtanding Her Majeſties Omiſſions, of ſorrowful Memory) if her Succeſſour King James had not been too Wiſe and Learned, as well as too Peaceable, for our Generation, and his Divines too Sinewy for ours to graple with at Hampton Court, we had finiſht that Work long ago. We ſhall never meet with ſuch an Opportunity to do, ſince Forty One, as Now. Plots and Conſpiracies can now be glibly ſwallowed under the Mask of Religion and Liberties, which we may juſtify to be Popiſh, and to come from Rome, inſtead of Geneva; and while we pretend to thruſt out Popery, we may bring in Whiggiſme, alias, the True Proteſtant Presbyterian.

The Eſcutcheons that are quartered over our Heads in the Body of the Church, are Emblemes of thoſe Honours, which ſome of our Noble Progenitors purchaſed with the Hazard of their Blood, in Defence of Religion, known Laws, and Liberty of the Subject. I will give them leave to be Hang'd. But when I take notice of the Royal Armes, and their Motto (Beati pacifici) I cannot, for the preſent, but entertain ſome Mutinous, Diſloyal, Rebellious Thoughts, and a Furious Zeal would ſoon drive them into Action, were it not that Conſcience, Allegiance, and Honi Soit upon the Blue Garter, did countermand it.

Some Alterations would be of Poſtures and Names, as well as Things. For truly, I cannot with an Ʋpright Conſcience, condeſcend to Kneeling at the Sacrament: We are not required to be ſo Flexible in a Superſtitious Adoration: My Advice is, That we ſit Familiarly, (as we did in the Late Free Time of Liberty) or ſtand to't couragiouſly: Nor ought our Geſture to be the ſame now, at the Goſpel, Creed, or Glory be to the Father, &c. As it was in the Beginning. Theſe, and other like Geſticulations, came firſt into this Country, from the City which ſtands on Seven Hills; and thither (with all ſuch Baggage) let them trudge again.

As for Names, I ſee no Warrant, but under the Man of Sin's own Seal, that this Church ſhould be called St. Clement's; nor indeed (as I have learn't ſince I was inlightned) that it ſhould be called a Church. We only can diſcern, who are Saints, who Reprobates; and it is not hard to find, who, and what this Clement was, and yet deal gently with him.

But in this particular (my dear Brethren) we muſt have a Reformation, and Order the Pariſh Clerks to paſs it in their Weekly Bills, and thoſe Roman Harlots who cry St. Thomas Onions (knowing ſuch Egyptian Roots cannot be Sanctified) ſhall be puniſh't; and this to be as Zealouſly done, as he that laſh't a Carr-man, for whiſtling the Tune of a Pſalm to his Horſe. The Law ſhall be the ſame concerning St. John's Wort, and Carduus Benedictus. As for this Building, which (now lately again) we have ignorantly called a Church; it is, indeed, but an Old Pile of Stones; it was built at the Charge of thoſe, who vainly thought a Decent Barn or Stable too homely for a Chriſtian Synagogue, and was Conſecrated (ſaving your Preſence) by ſome Old Prelate, as ſuperſtitious as the Founders. The Verity of it is, We are the Church, and this Fabrick (till we are otherwiſe provided) is but a Meeting-place; where (to our Grief) there is too often a Miſerable Mixture of the Prophane with the Godly. For Redreſs whereof, there is no other way, than (in a Tumultuous Faſhion) to repeat the Preſenting of Petitions for Liberty of Conſcience, and the ſpeedy Seſſion of a Godly, true Proteſtant Parliament.

I promiſed you even now ſomewhat of my Opinion (my Dearly Beloved) concerning the Reformation of the Church in its Miniſters, or Clergy: Now, give me leave (by your Patience) to deliver it unto you; which I will do with as good and pious an Emphaſis, as I can; who deſire to ſpend my ſelf, and be ſpent in the Service of God, my King and Kingdom.

That the preſent Church-Government by Arch-Biſhops, Biſhops, their Chancellours, Commiſſaries, Deans, Arch-Deacons, and other Eccleſiaſtical Officers, depending upon the Hierarchy, is evil and juſtly offenſive, and burthenſome to the Kingdom, a great Impediment, (obſerve this, I ſay— mark—) a great Impediment to our Reformation, and the further Growth of our Religion, (if I may ſo ſay) and therefore to be taken away: For (I ſay For—here's the Reaſon) they have been, and are entruſted with the Care and Proviſion of the Souls of King and People, to heed, feed, and watch over them; and, as Ambaſſadours, to attend their great Embaſſy from God to Man, for Reconciliation; and Preach, or cauſe to be Preached, by Able and Faithful Men, the Word of God in Seaſon, and out of Seaſon: They have done juſt contrary, run counter to all This; and this by Two manner of ways: Firſt, They have neglected their Perſonal Execution of their Truſt: And, Secondly, Have committed (generally and moſtly) the weighty Matter to Men illiterate and inſufficient, Dumb Doggs, as the Scripture calls them; that cannot bark, but againſt our poor Shepherds, that would Feed (not Eat) up the Flock. Men quorum eſſe & vivere, eſt eſſe & bibere. Whoſe Tables are full of Wine and Strong Drink. Their Precept's iter Longam, their Example's iter Breve. Satanae Satellites, non Chriſti Sectatores, ſed Antichriſti Succeſſores. They are Branches of the Hierarchy of Rome; Plants not planted by God our Heavenly Father. What Immenſe and Tranſcendent Goodneſs would it be of the Almighty, could but theſe Prieſts of Bacchus, Sons of Belial, be Sequeſtered, Silenced, and Turned out: and our true Miniſters, true Shepherds, [that would not kill them that they Feed, eat the Fat, and Cloath themſelves with the Wool] placed in their Rooms. 'Tis true, there are ſome of theſe Church-Governours, that are Good Men and Learned; but then we find them too Ʋnſanctified. Like Curio, they are ad Republicae perniciem facundi: Learned and Eloquent, but to the Deſtroying of our Common-Wealth. For my part, I ſhall endeavour to pray for a Through-perfect-Reformation in the Miniſters, as well as in theſe Particulars I have before declared unto you. The Church is the Garden of God, and till theſe Weeds be pluck't up, God will not delight to walk therein. And therefore we muſt, without Fear of the Hand of Violence, of Pride, or Informer's Malice, ſet Hand, heart, and Shoulder and All, for the perfect Cleanſing the Houſe of the Lord. In ſhort, (my Dearly Beloved) I ſhall give you a brief Epitome of what Meaſures we took in our Late (bleſſed be God, and the King) Times, and finiſh't our Work in this Matter, and how We muſt work.

1. None ſhall Preach or Declare in his Sermon, That the Puritans, now called Whiggs, ſhould be Ejected out all Pariſhes, nay Societies, as being ever the only Cauſe of all the Troubles and Diſturbances in this Kingdom.

2. No one ſhall Preach, That our late (nay, any other) Petitions to the King for a Parliament, were like Jeroboam's Petitions to Rehoboam; Commands, and not Petitions.

3. No one ſhall Preach, That the late and preſent Reformers of the Church were, and are but Hypocrites: That an Evil Spirit did Then, and doth Now breath theſe Things into their Minds; a Devout Devil, pretending Care of God's Service: That all Their and Our goodly Pretences, are but Hypocritical, and the Mask of Vile Iniquity, and Holy Theft. And ſhall hold, That it is a thing ſenſeleſs, for Lay-men to have any Tythes, and that Tythes are Jure Divino; and that to Alienate the Lands of Cathedral Churches, to ſet up and maintain Preaching Miniſters, is to pervert the Will of the Dead that gave them.

4. None ſhall declare his Wiſhes and Deſires in his Sermons, That Evil may befal thoſe that go about to take away Government by Biſhops, which has its Plat-form from Heaven: And holds, That the Government by Biſhops, Prieſts and Deacons under the Goſpel, is from God; as under the Law, the Government of High-Prieſts, Prieſts and Levites. And that ſay, That he knows not from whence the Presbyterian-Government comes, but from Corah, Dathan and Abiram.

5. No one ſhall call thoſe Irreverent Puppies, that uſe not Superſtitious Bowing at the Altar, and the Name of JESUS; and if they will not how Here, will bow in Hell hereafter; and thoſe that teach us not to bow as needleſs, are Blind Guides.

6. None ſhall Preach, That they that go about to Change the Laws and Government of the Church and Ceremonies, would at laſt change the Religion too.

7. None ſhall Preach, That it is as Lawful for a Woman, if ſhe diſlike her Husband, to leave him, and take another; as for one to go out of his Pariſh, to hear another Miniſter: And that to go to another Church, is as the ſin of Witchcraft and Idolatry. And threfore,

8. None ſhall Declare againſt A Preaching Miniſtry, by affirming, That to Preach nothing but Scripture without Authority of the Fathers, was like the Devils Sheering of Hoggs; a great Cry, but a little Wool. Or uſe that vile Comparing of painful Miniſters to Pedlars and Ballad Singers, that have moſt Company; when rich Merchants have but few.

9. None ſhall dare to gainſay or contradict Extempore Praying; and compare thoſe that uſe it, and enlarge themſelves therein with (im) pertinent Expreſſions, to Baals Prieſts, who Thought to be heard for their much bawling.

Theſe, and ſuch like Tenents and Speeeches in Sermons, held & preached by our late Miniſters, were ſeverely taken notice of, & ſeverely reprehended by ſilencing ſuch deſtructive Perſons, and Sequeſtring and Plundering Them and Theirs: Nay, if we could not find them erring in their Words, we way-laid them in their Actions, and were ſoon ready to pick holes in their Coats. 'Twas eaſy enough to ſay, they were Popiſhly Affected, Drunkard, Superſtitious Adorers at the Alter, or Name of JESƲS, Swearers, Whore-mongers, Adulterers, Ale-houſe haunters, Malignants, Enemies to the Cauſe, and the like; and we did their Work. Out we turned them Head and Shoulders, Bag and Baggage, to ſhift for themſelves. And then all care was taken that fit Perſons of our own Select Fraternity enjoy'd the Benefice or Cure.

My Brethren, that is the way we muſt go, not dally with them, but handle them without Mittins. We muſt thwack their Caſſocks; and rattle their Jackets. We muſt ſtamp upon the Panch of their Villany, and ſqueeze out the Garbiſh of their Iniquity. And dare they reſent our Proceedings with unneceſſary Interrogatories and unwelcome Reaſonings, they ſhall have Rehoboams Anſwer, Our Fathers (the Biſhops) chaſtized you with Whipps, but we will Chaſtize you with Scorpions, &c. For the ſame Power, which was lately reſident in an Arch-Biſhop, is inherent and of Divine Right in a Presbyter. Ay, if they repine and call our Proceedings unreaſonable, we muſt put our Vincent Skale-skie, Humphrey Bang-Prieſt, and Curtiſs Claw-Clergy upon their Backs. That Speculum Crape-Gownorum was an excellent means to vilify their Doctrine and Parts; and then a Fig for their Perſons. Oh! 'Twas pitty, pitty—Heretofore, Brethren, we proceeded by a better way, by a two fold Authority, we had 1. a Commiſſion from Sir Simon Synod at Weſtminſter; and 2. Reſolves of the then Commons Diſsembled in Parliament, concerning all ſuch Miniſters, who ſhould directly or indirectly Preach or Pray againſt our Power or Proceedings: We took Cognizance of them, and deemed and adjudged them Delinquents, and within the reſpective Orders, Ordinances and Acts touching Sequeſtration, as to their Eccleſiaſtical Benefices and Stipends: So that in a matter of Seven Years time, a General Bill of Mortality being drawn up of thoſe Miniſters who were defunct by reaſon of our Contagious Breath, the total amounted to One Hundred and Fifteen, who were Sequeſtred, whereof above Forty Doctors in Divinity; their Goods we Plundered, and turned out their Families. Reformation (Beloved) could not have been wrought, but by theſe means, they were rooted in, and ere we could plant good Seed, theſe Weeds muſt be pluckt up. And then we wiſely Ordered the Directory for Worſhip; Claſſical Presbyteries, and Congregational Elderſhips; Then had we our faithful painful Miniſters, and ſuch as Preacht in Seaſon, and out of Seaſon.

Having propounded this excellent Method for Reformation of Church-Miniſters, I proceed.

The Ingens Opus, and true Maſter-Piece of all, now calls aloud for your quickned Attention, inflamed Zeal, and well-ſetled Endeavours; I mean, the Diſcreet Election of an Able and ſincere Paſtor, whoſe Model I have conceived briefly thus.

He muſt not proceed from Wales, or either of the Ʋniverſities; for then we ſhall never underſtand him: Nor yet from Jericho, leſt the Gravity of his Beard give us cauſe to ſuſpect the Truth of his Enthuſiaſms and Inſpirations: But he ſhall be a ſmooth, ſweet young Man, well deſcended (not from Levi, but) from the Tribe of Gad, or Man-aſſes, and trained up in Amsterdam, Geneva, the Iſle of Silly, or (if you pleaſe) in our own Neighbourhood, where we have good Choice of ſuch, whoſe Mechanick Profeſſions have left them to make the Pulpit (as others do their Swords) their quum nemini. —Here are Felt-Makers, that can roundly deal with the Blockheads, and Newtral Demi-caſters of the World. Coblers, who can give good Rules for upright Walking, and handle Scripture to a Briſtle: Coachmen, who know how to laſh the Beaſtly Enormities, and curb the Head-ſtrong Inſolencies of this Bruitiſh Age; ſtoutly exhorting us to ſtand up for the Truth, leſt the Wheel of Deſtruction roundly over-run us. We have Weavers, that can ſweetly ly inform us of the Shittle-ſwiftneſs of the Time, and practically tread out the Viciſſitude of all Sublunary Things, till the Web of our Life be cut off. And here are Merchants of my Profeſſion, who can ſeparate the pieces of Damnation from thoſe of Salvation, meaſure out every Man's Portion, and cut it out by a Thread; Subſtantially preſſing their Points, till they have faſhionably finiſht up their Work, with a well-bottom'd Concluſion.

Out of this Groſs Heap (wherewith we are ſo comfortably ſurrounded) we may pick ſuch a One, that with a Stentorian Voice (making more uſe of his Lungs and Noſe, than Nature requires) ſhall reprove our Sins in that kind and meaſure, as we would have him; Shall couragiouſly ſound an Alarum to Battail; ſhall tell us the Events of our Actions before they're begun, by expounding Old Viſions and Prophecies, better than he that was in Pathmos: He ſhall not need to Travel for Orders to the Prelatical Hierarchy, He ſhall receive Orders from Ʋs. I have drawn up ſome of them already for him, and by theſe you may judge of the Whole; Ex pede Herculem, ex ungue Leonem, as we uſe to ſay.

His Habit ſhall be a High-crown'd Hat, or (to follow the preſent Mode, to avoid an Ʋndecent Pointing at) a Low-crowned, narrow-brim Hat, a black Leather Callot-Cap, a ſad Medley-Cloak, and Jerkin of the ſame, Violet Hoſe, and Ruſſet ſtockings.

His Landreſs ſhall evidence his Hatred of White-Linnen, by his little Coller'd-Band; and his Barber ſhall ſo roundly indent his Head, that our Eyes may as well ſee his Ears, as our Ears hear his Doctrine.

In his Fathomleſs Prayers, he ſhall diſpence with the Third Commandment; and take the Lord's Name in vain ex tempore, cutting out more Work for God in an Hour and an half, than a ſober Man can expect ever to be performed by Him that is Moſt Wiſe: And if at any time (forgetting him-ſelf) he Pray for the King's Majeſty, it ſhall be with ſuch Diſtractions and Dilemma's, that we can hardly diſtinguiſh it from Treaſon.

His Text muſt never be divided, (We ſhall make ſufficient Diviſions amongſt our ſelves) but he ſhall wander from it, as if it were not a Tangible Body; only in Caſe of pure Neceſſity, he may (for a Moment) make it a Place of Retreat, and then frisk abroad again.

His Ʋnderſtanding ſhall be free from all Liberal Arts and Sciences, his Converſation from all Humanity, and his Diſcourſe from all Figures, except Hyſteron and Proteron, Hyperbole, Tautalogia, and other Flowers of the like Scent and Colour.

He ſhall uſe no Language, but his Mother-Tongue, and the Hebrew, (if he hath attained to it) making choice of his Authors accordingly; ſuch as Aben Ezra, Rabbi David Kimchi, and the reſt.

He muſt abominate the Greek Fathers, Chryſoſtome, Baſil, and all the Bundle of ſuch Ʋnwholſome Herbs: Alſo the Latines, whom the Pope-bellied Gray-beards of the Town call St. Ambroſe, St. Auguſtine, &c. The intricate School-men, as Aquinas, and our Deviliſh Learned Country-man, Alexander Halenſis, ſhall not come within the Sphere' of his Torrid Brain, leſt his Pia Mater be confounded with their ſubtle Diſtinctions; but, by ſpecial Diſpenſation, he may (for Names-ſake) caſt an Eye ſometimes upon Scotus; and (when he hath Marryed a Sisſter) upon Cornelius a Lapide.

His Engliſh Authors ſhould be curiouſly cull'd alſo: He muſt not ſo much as name Whitgift, Boyes, Hooker, Stillingfleet; nor any of the Rabble of Anti-Preſbyters or Conformiſts: But his Chief Guides ſhall be Knox, Browne, Barrow, Buchanan, Robinſon, Baxter, and (whom I had e'en forgot) that never ſufficiently honoured and admired Howes, (not the Chronologer, but) one of our late and beſt Tranſlators. He was a Man, that feared not to come cloſe to the Heels of Truth: He was a Laborious Applyer of ſtrong Points to the Laſt, and had always a Lift or two for the Back-ſlider: If any ſtood ſtubbornly on his Pantofles, he would work him as pliable as Wax: If there were a Schiſm in his Charge, both his Hands and Awl ſhould make up the Breach in a Zealous Contraction. He well obſerved the Foot-ſteps of his Auditory, and grafted much Goodneſs into thoſe, that had gone aſide; driving his Holy Inſtigations ſo home, that whereſoever they went, they were ſenſible of them: In a word, He was the Hammer of all Humane Learning, a moſt Induſtrious Converter of Soales; and, in a ſhort Space, did ſet forth more Works in Oxes-Hides, than old Toſtatus did in all his Life. Oh! —I can never mention his Name, nor viſit his Monument in Finſbury, but theſe Spiritual Pangs ſurprize me— Oh! —He is gone! He is gone! But there is ſtill Heavenly Comfort provided for Us, and our Poſterity, by the daily Preaching of his Learned Succeſſors; and their Judicious and Pious Works, the great Artichects of the Partition-Wall: True Herods in their Conſciencious Obſervance of the Sacred Covenant, though 'twere to the utter Deſtruction of Themſelves and Others. And now heartily thanking you (Holy Brethren) for your preſent Patience, I will proceed where I left.

When our Souls are bleſt with a Doctor of theſe, and the like rare Qualifications, the next conſiderable will be his Stipend, (for this Oxe will not be muzzled) which I conceive (under Favour) ſhould be the Ampler, in regard there will be little or no Uſe of him for Weddings, Churchings and Burials; which, in theſe our Purblind Times, yields the Incumbent (as the Lawyers call him) a Comfortable Revenue. I think well (with Submiſſion to your Judgments) that we advance him to Forty Marks per Annum; but with this Proviſo, that our Benevolent Siſters ſhall not be inhibited their Voluntary Contribution of Money (their good Husbands knowing nothing of it) and Plate, (if their Cupboards afford it) Linnen, and other Neceſſaries; which, I am confident, will amount to twice as much. This was the meer Motion of my Reverend Mother, and Dear Siſter: And truly, I judge too very well motion'd; for This, with the Charitable Collection from the Saints on Week-day's Lectures, (according to St. Paul's Inſtitution, 1 Cor. 16.) will be a very pretty Competency, and ſhall maintain his Dear Conſort, the Lady Preſbyter, as Modiſh as the fineſt Lady Biſhop of them all.

And whereas we never continue long in any one Opinion, but ſeperate daily, from ſeperation to ſeperation; I hold it expedient, that once in every Fourteen Days, (which ſhall be the New and Full of the Moon, the true Moderatrix of our Brains) we have a Solemn Meeting in my Sanctified Parlour; where our Prophet ſhall give us a Conciſe Exhortation of two Hours long, or ſuch a matter; and then we may Admoniſh him of ſuch things, as in the matter or manner of his former Labours, were not correſpondent to our Humours; and may direct him (for the future) how long, how broad, how high and how deep he ſhall teach us, how gently or tartly he ſhall handle our Sores, and when he ſhall reſtrain, when enlarge our Liberty. And then refreſhing our ſelves in a Chriſtian manner, with a chirping Cup of Canary, and ſuch good things as the Gentlewomen Priſcilla and Dorcas will miniſter to us (being Devoutly Conſecrated by a long winded Benediction) every one ſhall depart home with ſuch preciſe Heedfulneſs, as may prevent the ſcurrilous Tongues of the Malignant Tories; for I muſt tell you, we have a ſort of ſcoffing Iſhmaelites, that will undertake to ſee Sin, where God cannot, and with their black Mouths, will Perſecute the Meekeſt Iſaac upon Earth. Witneſs their ſtrict putting in Execution their Commiſſions to diſturb our Publick Meetings, and their ſcandalous ſtigmatizing us by their Popiſh Pamphlets; but I think we are pretty even with them in this laſt particular, though our Pockets ſometimes pay for it. Witneſs our dear Baldwin, Smith, and Beloved Janeway, &c.

Theſe with ſome other things (I know not well what) are the Compendium of my Thoughts, leaving nothing material to the Care of my Succeſſours, but the Subverſion of the Croſs-Iſle, the demoliſhing of the Arches (if without danger it be feiſible) and the Turning of the Main ſtructure North and South, (which now moſt offenſively ſtands Eaſt and Weſt) or taking it all aſunder for a purer Edification. However though we are now ſuch Beaſts to turn Stables into Churches, yet let us abhor turning Churches into Stables; we will rather chooſe the former.

Now only remains that in a pretty Diminutive Vote, you pleaſe to give your Brotherly Aſſent unto the Premiſſes.—

Never was Veſtry ſhaken with ſuch a Thunderclap! The Air ſeldome ſuffers ſuch a Holy Violence: Your loud Chriſtian Clamor brought this Earth into ſuch a fit of Trembling, that (I am partly perſwaded) the Graves were in ſome doubt they ſhould be diſpoſſeſt of their Gueſts: But I am ſure this Gale hath driven out Billowes of joyful Tears at my Eyes, and blown my Zeal into an extinguiſhable Conflagation, which had well nigh pufft me up into another Extaſy. This is Vis Ʋnita indeed, that can ſet all the Elements on Work thus at a Clap. Your unanimous Approbation (my Zealous Brethren) Obligeth my extreameſt Abilities to the Proſecution of my Intendments, reſolving as long as the Old Word (Magiſtratus indicat virum) ſtands firm, my Demeanor ſhall expreſs me to the Life, and make the Whigg as Famous to Poſterity, as the Roundhead.

And if the well tun'd Vox Populi of this Precinct ſhall Honour me to be your Common-Council-Man, my Learned Oratory in Guild-Hall, and Pious Devotion in the whole Service, ſhall render me as Pragmatical and Phanatical a Member in the Civil Government, as poſſibly I am or can be in the Eccleſiaſtical.

Of which you may expect ſhortly an Account.