I.

ONe Bernardinus of Siena, who for his merits was after canonized and saint­ed, was a great Preacher in Milan, where he preached with a great throng and concourse of peo­ple, reprehending usually the cor­rupt customes of those times: This a Merchant of Milan observing, came often to visit him, and earnest­ly pressed him, that without respect of persons He would preach against [Page 2] that abominable sin of Ʋsury, which was of late grown so common in that City. In the mean time Bernardi­nus. searching into the condition and life of the man, findes that he was the greatest Usurer in all Milan, and that he did this to affright others from that vice, and to ingrosse all the dealings by Usury to himselfe a­lone▪

II.

A rich Merchant of Venice, who had great trading in Naples, seeing one Iaspar of Ravenna to come to Church every morning betimes, and showing their great devotion, ei­ther praying or reading his Rosary and Davids Psalter, he fell in love with the man so farre, as that he in­trusted in his hands a good summe of money to traffique with, and to share with him in the adventure. The time coming that Jaspar was to give up his accounts of the money and the advantage; He not only de­nied that ever he received any mo­ney [Page 3] from him, but said also that he never knew the Merchant. The Merchant being after blamed by some of his brethren for trusting a stran­ger without witnesse or assurance, said to them, It was not Iaspar of Ravenna, but his Prayer▪books and Psalter, which have cheated me. Pii ad mercedem sumus ad mercedem im­pii, & magis impii quo magis pii.

III.

There being discourse of a Mer­chant of great credit, yet a sordid Miser and covetous: One John de Medices burst into these words, See the great mercy of God, That all men should trust him that doth not put his trust in God: He trusts not God, who doth not trust him without a pawne, until he have before him as much as he can desire.

IV.

There is a Tale of an old Vsurer, that had nothing in his mouth, but [Page 4] It is good to be sure; If his Servant went to receive Money, he would follow him, why? tis good to be sure; Though he had lockt the door, he would rise out of his bed to feel it fast, for It is good to be sure, If he had told his money never so often over, yet he will tell it again, O'tis good to be sure. This man fals dan­gerously sick, and his servant per­ceiving little hope of life ask'd him, Master, have you said your Prayers, yes sure, said he, I think so, Nay but say them again Master, for it is good to be sure: He bids the Ser­vant open the Chest, and bring him all his gold in it, The Servant having opened it, cryes out, Master, the Devil is in the Chest, he layes his paw upon all the gold, and sayes, It is all his, because it was extracted out of the life-bloud of Widows, Orphans, and poor Wretches; Sayes he so, saith the Extortioner, Then bring me the gold, the Chest, the Devil, and all, It is good to be sure: And hence it may be it is, that usually wlcked men are [Page 5] said to get the Devil and all. But let this passe for a Tale, in earnest It is good to be sure. And in Goods got­ten by Sacriledge, Oppression, Rob­bery, or bloud, did none of your Learned Counsel advise you of a flaw in your Leases of Conveyance to as­sure your selves, That you were to have and to hold, this and that, with all the appurtenances, and know you not that Gods Curse upon them and you is a certain Appurtenance to all ill-gotten Goods? Consider this all ye that forget God, It is good to be sure.

V.

Castrutius Governour of Luca, who is reported to be tyrannicall, being condemned by one of his Fa­miliars for banishing and confisca­ting the goods of one Luparus a rich man, who by all men had the repute of a wise good and faithfull Citizen, thus answered his Friend with a smile, It is not Luparus his goodnesse or wisedome, but his co­vetousnesse [Page 6] vetousnesse is punished by me; He cannot be good that is covetous; As long as I knew not his vices, I re­spected him as my dearest friend, but as soon as Luparus shewed me he lov'd his money more then me, it behoved me also to esteem Luparus his money more then Luparus.

VI.

I have heard the like to what fol­lows related of a Merchant, which it may be was but borrowed from that which is storied of Sigismund the Emperour, who having received a great masse of gold out of Hungary, commanded it, because the day was spent, to be carried into his bed-cham­ber: where he passed a great part of the night without sleep, at last he gave command to call up diverse of his Counsel and special Friends, who, wondring what was the busi­nesse at that unreasonable time, were brought into his chamber, and there the Emperour showing them the gold, Do you see. saith he, that Hang­man [Page 7] that would not suffer me to take any sleep all this night, do you carry it all away and divide it among your selves, which when they readily did, Now, saith he, you may depart, and I hope I shall take my rest much the bet­ter. Anacreon also, when a Talent of gold was given him by Polycrates, did distribute it among others, saying, I hate the gift which keeps a man wa­king.

VII.

Charles Duke of Burgundy being slain in battell by the Swissers at Kant Anno 1476. had a Jewell of very great value, which being found about him was sold by a Souldier to a Priest for a Crown in money, the Priest sold it for two Crowns, afterwards it was sold for seuen hundred Florens, then for twelve thousand Duckets, and set into the Popes Triple Crown, where it is to be seen at this day, And there it is as much worth as it was sold for at first. And Lewis the eleventh of France gave no reall value to these [Page 8] toys, when he wore in his hat instead of a Jewell a peece of guilded Lead.

VIII.

There is a Story out of Strabo of a company of people that met at the Market place, where was one that played excellently upon the Harp, so that all crowded to hear him, as be­ing ravished with the Musick; but no sooner did the Market-bell ring, but they were all gone, onely one stayed behinde that was thick of hear­ing, to whom the Harper said, He was much beholding to him for honour­ing his musick when others were gone at the ringing of the Market-bell. What the Market-bell, hath that rung? said the deafish man, Nay then fare­well, I must be gone too. Pleasure must yeeld to Profit, and the best Musick to the Market-bell.

IX.

A publike Notary to the City of Florence, being desired by one that he would speak to some of the chief Citizens in favour of a Petition which he had to them; Go, saith he, and speak for your self, and if you shall finde any one that shall deny you, I will help you; And yet perhaps the man found a fallacy, A bene divisis ad male conjunctos; It is true every where, Pollicitis dives, &c. but it is got a­mong the Proverbs, To promise like a Merchant, and pay like a man of War.

X.

If this offend any Merchant, I may gratifie him as much in showing him an Art to remember any debt he hath forgotten, It is this; One of a weak memory had lent a Friend a Crown, and was much ttoubled that he had quite forgotten, and could not recall the Man or his Name; At last be­ing [Page 10] so bold as to tell it to his Wife, he was advised by her to walk about; and whosoever met him, and withall bid him Good day or thank'd him, he should presently answer, But I had ra­ther have my Money: The man takes a womans Counsell, many meet him, and not understanding the mystery of these words let him passe; At last his Debtor meets him, and being of­fended with this Speech, tels him, you might have asked for your own in some more handsome and civill way, but here it is, I have it ready for you. Whatsoever you recover this way, I cry halves.

XI.

I shall also discover to others a way to be wished happy by Merchants while you live, and to be most missed of them when you dye, and this it is in short, to run much in their debts.

XII.

One who flattering himself that he lived like a Lord, did eat, and drink, and run in every mans debt, was desi­red by one (Macrobius relates it of Augustus) that he would only bestow upon him the Pillow he slept on, fince he could sleep so quietly that owed so many debts: I, saith the other, sleep wall upon any pillow, for I leave the cares to you, who will take all the care you can how to be paid: The like is reported of a Noble man in Rome, who being in debt to a Merchant, kept close a while, but weary of that came abroad, whom the Merchant met once or▪ twice, but spared to speak to him, at last he puts him in minde of his debt, and the time long past, and expostulates with him, why he did not think of him, and remem­ber him. Indeed, saith the Nobleman, I have remembred you, and thought a­gain and again how to satisfie you, but finding it to no purpose, I have resol­ved [Page 12] to leave all the care and thought of this businesse to your self. It may be, if it were enquired into, one of these was the Author of that Proveab, An hundred load of thoughts will not pay one of debt.

XIII.

A man much in debt had taken Sanctuary in a Monastery, where a Friend of his us'd to come and visit him, and finding him full of thoughts he asked him, though he knew his case, why he was so sad; You know, I think, said he, how many thousands I am in debt, neither will my Creditors yeeld to any composition, and the trouble of this hath so dejected me, that I think I should never have en­joyed my self, but that I happily met with a Book of Patience, which raised up my spirits, or else this sadnesse I think had killed me: why then, saith his friend, have you hopes of satisfy­ing your Creditors? No, said the o­ther; Nay then, saith his Friend, in my oyinion, They should have this Book [Page 13] of Patience to reade, who, whether they will or no, are forced to want what is owing them.

XIV.

Report being made among a Com­pany of Merchants of one greatly in debt that was dead: In good faith then, saith one of them, he hath carri­ed 500 Duckats of mine into the o­ther world; And, saith another, 200 of mine; And other of his Creditors there spake of other sums; Where­upon one that was amongst them said; Well I see now, that though a man can­not carry any of his own with him into the other world, yet he may carry other mens. It is to be feared that the ac­counts he may.

XV.

A great Lady in Barbary, being a Widow, called to her an English Mer­chant trading in those parts, with whom she knew her Husband had some commerce, and asked him if there were nothing owing to him [Page 14] from her deceased Husband. He af­ter much importunity and many mo­dest refusals, as having been greatly benefited by the dead Barbarian, ac­knowledged something, and shewed her the particulars; She tendred him satisfaction, and forced him to take the uttermost penny, saying thus, I I would not have my Husbands soul to seek your soul in hell to pay his debts. Non dimittitur peccatum, uisi restituatur ablatum, in Latimesrs old English, ei­ther Restitution or Hell.

XVI.

There were some that came to King Alphonsus, who with great earnest re­quested him in the behalf of a Gen­tleman, who being a man of pleasure, did (as it seems) owe all but his soul to other men, for his Body was pu­nished in prison; they desiring that a Gentleman should not suffer in his Person; The King flatly denied it, and told them, that such men as had wasted so much Means and Goods [Page 15] (which are indeed means to do good) neither in the Service of King or Countrey, nor for the benefit of their Parents or Friends, but altogether for the pleasure of their own bodies, should in all reason suffer punishment in their bodies, Qui non habet in aere, luat in corpore, saith the Law.

XVII.

A Florentine Merchant, in stead of the signe of distinction of his house and shop, caused to be painted a fire, and therein some books a burning; to the intent that if any came to buy of him without money, he might answer them, that there was no booking; for as they might see by the picture, his Books were burnt, and nothing could be had without ready money. Others of this Mer­chants resolution in Italy have writ­ten on their Shop-doors this Item in great Letters, Hoggi non si dà a creta, dimansi. Cras credo, hodie ni­hil. This day there is no▪trusting, but [Page 16] tomorrow there is. Cras credo, haud hodie sic nego quotidie. I leave to the Merchant to judge whether trust­ing or not trusting be more advanta­gious; but the practice of that Mer­chant was pious, who had no Book for men of Estates, but for poor men he had, to lend them money or wares upon their own day; which if they paid they might borrow again.

XVIII.

A rich man, I doe not say a Mer­chant, was journeying to the wa­ters for his health, having taken with him a companion for his recreation, A poor man begging on the way, with much adoe he drops him a pen­ny, his companion grutcheth at it, and why (saith he) spend you the money we may have need of? O, saith the man, that he may pray for me, I shall come the sooner to Heaven for this; Nay then, said his companion why did not you give more? Do you think Heaven is to be [Page 17] got for a penny? methinks you are not so good a Merchant as I took you for, to lay out for a journey to these wa­ters where you hope for health to live a while, and lay out no more for that place where you hope to live for ever; Heaven is little worth if it be worth no more then such men give for it.

XIX.

Thomas Gaine (Guadagni) a Mer­chant by his Name, and a rich Mer­chant of Florence, who lent to Fran­cis the first of France five hundred thousand Crowns, but as it seems by the story, one of those who (as the Italian Proverb is) live by their tra­ding and cheating one half of the year, and by their cheating and trading the other half; This man was about to build an Hospitall at Leyden; And having purchased a fair plot of ground for it, he brought his ac­quaintance thither, and among them one Saltarell a Merchant likewise, and skillfull in Architecture, to whom [Page 18] he shewed the models and platforms, requiring his advice. I like all this well, saith Salterell, only one thing is faulty, there is too little a space of ground, it will be much too narrow; Why, saith Gaine, do not you see what a large compasse there is? I see it is large, saith Salterell, but if all are to come hither, whom you have brought to poverty, it will not hold the one half of them.

XX.

One speaking of these kinde of works, said, that without restitution and compensation to man they could not be acceptable with God, who hates robbery for a burnt-offering; and that these men were much like one, whom in the Countrey the people by a Nick-name called Gods Shoe-maker, who used to steal Leather, and (it may be touch'd in conscience for it) he would give away the Shoes for Gods sake. And it is now prover­biall, To steal the Hog, and give the feet for Almes.

XXI.

There is an unhappy Proverb, Hap­py are those sons, whose fathers go to the devil; but it is observed to the contrary, even to a Proverb upon Proverb, Malè parta malè dilabuntur, Ill-gotten ill gone; De malé quasitis vix gaudet tertius Haeres, &c.

XXII.

Diverse Proverbs of gain and bar­gaining, most of them Outlandish, wherein are good Counsels to those that will take them.

1. A Merchant that gains not, loseth.

2. He that gains well, and spends well, needs no count-book.

3. He that hath the spice, may sea­son as he please.

4. Weigh justly, and sell dearly.

5. Love is not found in the Market.

6. Pleasing ware is half sold.

7. Were there no Fools, bad ware would not passe.

[Page 20] 8 You must lose a Fly, to catch a Trout.

9 The buyer needs an hundred eyes, the seller not one.

10 He that praiseth would sell, and he that blames would buy.

11 Whoso knew what would be dear, should be a Merchant but one year.

12 Ill ware is never cheap.

13 That is gold which is worth gold.

14 Money wants no followers, or Every one fastens where there is gain.

15 Health without money is half an Ague.

16 Ready Money is a ready Medi­cine.

17 He that hath Money and Ca­pers is furnished for Lent.

18 With a Floren, the Latine tongue, and a good Horse, a man may travel any where.

19 To have Money is a fear, not to have it a grief.

20 Little wealth, little care.

21 He that hath Lands, hath quar­rels.

[Page 21] 22 Pains to get, fear to lose, care to keep.

23 He that hath little is the lesse dirty.

24 In a great River Fish are to be found, but take heed lest thou be drowned.

25 Wealth is like Rheum, it fals on the weakest Parts.

26 When all men have what be­longs to them, it cannot be much.

27 The Gown is his that wears it, and the world his that enjoys it.

28 All did come from others, and must go to others.

29 Riches are like Muck, spread abroad they are fruitful, but on an heap and hoarded they stink.

30 If a good man thrive, all thrive with him.

31 The bit that one eats makes no friend.

32 Presents of love fear not to be ill taken of strangers

33 He that pitties another remem­bers himself.

34 The House is a fine House, [Page 22] when good Folks are within.

35 Silks and Sattins put out the fire of the Chimney.

36 Pay tithes, and give almes, and be as rich as God would have thee.

XXIII.

Other good counsels to those that need them, and to whom they be­long.

a He that looks not before findes himself behinde.

b To buy dear is no bounty.

c He that loseth his due gets no thanks.

d Shop-keepers are Courtiers. They that have wares to sell have words at will.

e Buy at a Fair, but sell at home.

f Buy not all you have use of, nor every thing you think you have need of.

g The dearer it is the cheaper for me (meant I shall save by not buy­ing.)

h On a good bargain think twice, [Page 23] for a good bargain is a pick-purse.

i A good payer is master of ano­thers purse.

k A good pay-master starts not at assurance.

l He that will be surety shall pay.

m Would you know what money is? go borrow some.

n He that would have a short Lent, let him take money to be paid at Easter.

o Sins and debts are alwaies more then one takes them to be.

p He that gets out of debt, grows tich.

q He that knows what may be gained in a day, will neither steal, nor beg, nor borrow.

r He that hath no Trade, it is to his losse.

s He that hath a good Trade, hath a Purchase made.

t Little and often fils the purse.

u Keep thy shop, and thy shop will keep thee.

w He that will make a door of gold, must drive in a nail every day.

[Page 24] x He that labours, and thrives, spins gold.

y He that lyes long in bed, his E­state feels it.

z The Citizen is at his businesse be­fore he rise,

A Play, women, and wine kill a man laughing.

B Gamesters and Racers never last long.

C In Building and Gardening you are sweetly undone,

D A fat House-keeper makes lean Executors.

E To make a bounce, i. e, to spend a quarters Rent at a meals meat.

F He that burns his house warms himself for once.

G The Jews spend at Easter, the Moors at Marriages, and Christians in Sutes.

H To gain teacheth how to spend.

I As the year is, your pot must seethe.

K Every one stretcheth his legs according to his Coverlet.

L Much spends the Traveller more then the Abider.

[Page 25] M Who hath more bread then needs must not keep a dog.

N Sleep without supping, and wake without owing.

O Mend your clothes, and you may hold out this year.

P Men get wealth, and women keep it.

Q Better spare to have of thine own, then ask of other men.

R A penny spar'd is twice got.

XXIV.

It is not to be reckoned, what pub­like and private benefit this Alphabet well learn'd may produce: but De­mocritus intending, howsoever recom­pensed, to oblige the Merchant, will now discover him a secret how to re­cover a stolen treasure, without going to the devil (to an Astrologer, I mean, or a Conjurer) it is this. A certain man had digged and hid un­der ground a good summe of money, to which none was privy but a Neigh­bour his intimate acquaintance; who [Page 26] proving false to him digg'd up by night and carried away this treasure. The other seeing himself rob'd, and suspecting him that was the theef in­deed, comes to him without any shew of sadnesse, and tels him in a merry manner, that Fortune was every day more and more favourable to him, he had lately come in to him a thou­sand Duckets more, which the next night he purposed to lay up with his fellows in the place he knew. His Neighbour gaping for the whole, as speedily as may be carries back the money he had stolen, hoping within a day to sweep away every dust of that and the other summe also. But the Owner finding his money return­ed, carries it home with him, and de­ceives the Theef his Neighbour.

XXV.

A Countreyman had brought into the Emperour Fredericks Court a Load of Corn, and being gone into his Inne one of his horses was loosed [Page 27] out of the Cart, and taken away. The News coming to the Emperours ears he cals in the fellow, and asks him if he had heard any thing of his horse, and tels him withall that he should have looked to his Horses, for it was a wonder there being so many Soul­diers about him who had use of hor­ses, that his other horse scaped, But the Countreyman telling him, that the other was a Mare, and unfit for service in the Warre, the Emperour bid him then to get up upon his Mare, and ride about to the Stables in the City; which done, the Horse smelt his Fellow which he had missed, and by his neighing betrayed himself and the man that had stolen him.

XXVI.

There is a story of our Sir Thomas Moore, which is thought fit to be transplanted into other Languages; and it may be is not so commonly known at home; He sitting in judge­ment upon some Theeves and Cut­purses, [Page 28] there was one grave ancient man upon the Bench that said, it was the carelesnesse of men in keeping their purses that gave occasion to these new sort of Theeves; Sir Tho­mas disliking this Speech, and ad­journing the Sentence till the next day, sends for one of the Cutpurses at night, instructing him what he would have done, and promising him liberty. The next day this man being examined and plainly proved guilty, He answered for himself, that if it pleased the Judge, or any that sate there to hear him, He had a se­cret to reveal which concerned the good of them all, Sir Thomas bid him take his choice: Then said the Cut­purse, if it please that grave wor­shipfull Gentleman, who spoke some­thing on our behalf yesterday, I shall tell it to him, the Gentleman co­ming down to the Prisoner, he draws him aside, and whispers some crochet in his ear, but withall dives into his pocket, and carries his Purse; The Prisoner returning to the Bar, and [Page 29] giving Sr Thomas a signe that he had done the feat, the Gentleman being seated begins to beg and plead for the Cutpurse, and that he would tell the Iudge what would deserve his par­don: Well then, saith Sir Thomas, but we must help the poor man with a little money that he may live ho­nestly hereafter; upon which moti­on every one drawing their purse, the Gentleman missing his began to be wroth, and said, that his Purse was gone he knew not how, and which was most sawcily done, stolen from a man of justice in a place of Justice: Sir Thomas returns him his own words he had used the day before, that it was his own negligence, &c. and the Court having good sport, He wished him hereafter not to blame those that lost their purse, or in any way to be­leeve or take upon him the defence of Cut-purses.

XXVII.

A noted Merchant of Antw [...]rp spoke to a Painter to draw his Pi­cture, [Page 30] promising him twelve crowns if he did it well and like him. The work being done, the Merchant re­penting of his bargain, and loth to part with so much money for a Pi­cture, quarrels with the Painter, that he had not done it artificially, and that it was nothing like him, and so would not pay him his Money. The Painter carries away the Table, and bethinks himself how to get the mo­ney out of him; He addes to the Mer­chants head, a colour'd Hood, Fea­thers and Bels, and in this Fools ha­bit hangs him out at his shop for sale. The Merchant who was well known, being taken notice of by all passen­gers in this dresse, to redeem himself from scorn and laughter, was forced to buy the picture at the price for­merly agreed on, and to pay also for the Fools Cap which he had given him.

XXVIII.

Philip the second King of Spain, who used to visit Tradesmen shops, came in once to one Jenkyn of Trez­zo, about some work he had put out to him, which went but slowly on; and sayes to him, I pray thee Jenkyn tell me if thou hadst a Prentice or man that thou hadst set about a work, and he would not do it, what would­est thou do with him? I would, saith Jenkyn, pay him his wages, and bid him be gone; The King perceiving what that meant, made him be paid what was owing him; and coming a while after, not finding the work quite finished, he ask'd him; And how now Jenkyn, what wouldst thou do with that man to whom thou pay­edst wages, if he had not done thy work? Truly, saies Jenkyn, I would give him more time, and not look he should do more then he could.

XXIX.

Alexander the Great coming into Apelles his shop; and making his judgement of Pictures very unskill­fully, Apelles whispers him in the ear, Sir, I pray you leave off talking of these things, or else speak lower, that the boyes which grinde the colours may not hear you and laugh at you.

XXX.

Philip Alexanders Father maintain­ing Argument with a Musician in points of his Art somewhat peremp­torily, the Musician said to him: God forbid Sir, your Fortune were so bad to know these things better then I, Aliud Sceptrum, aliud Plectrum, as another Musician said to King Ptolomy.

XXXI.

It was commonly said of Nero, that would have had the repute of an ex­cellent Musician, that He was any [Page 33] thing rather then a Musician, and yet he was a better Musician then a Prince, for he would be either stretching the pins of government too high, or letting them down too low.

XXXII.

Diogenes call'd an ill Musician Cock, Why Cock? (saith he) Because saies Diogenes, when you crow men use to rise.

XXXIII.

A wandring Scholar, that feigned himself a Master of Arts, went a beg­ging to a Smith, and pleaded that he was a Master of Arts; what Arts, said the Smith, the seven liberall Arts, said the other, Those Arts, said the Smith, methinks are not very liberall, which cannot maintain a single man, and I with one Trade maintain my self, wife, and children.

XXXIV.

A Miller, of whom the old Pro­verb of England was, that every true one hath a golden thumb, and in [Page 34] Germany they say, when they speak of a stour man, that he is as bold as a Mil­lers shirt, that every morning▪ takes a theef by the neck; One of these going a begging, and desiring a gathering for him, He that commended his case said, Neighbours I pray you consider this poor man; Whom I verily beleeve to be an honest man because he begs, for otherwise he might have lived well by cheating and taking toll as other Mil­lers do. Some may think this Story made by some Scholar in answer to the former, but Democritus assures him he hath it upon record; and that he is of that good opinion not only of Millers, but most Tradesmen, that they may be honest when they go a begging.

XXXV.

Those that cheat others by fair words, would think it somewhat se­vere to be served as Alex. Severus the Emperout punished a man that by fair promises had abused his Name to the people, he made him be tyed to a stake and choaked with smoak, with [Page 35] these words, He sold smoak, and he is punished with smoak; this your fair­tongued Cheaters would think severe and harsh, and yet it is no more then they deserve, but in conscience they cannot say but Gallienus the Empe­rors punishment was reasonable, who condemned a Fellow to the Sands for selling glasse instead of jewels; and when in the Theatre all the people stood looking for some Lion or wilde Beast to come forth to devour him; there was at last sent out a dunghill-Cock, and a Cryer, with these words, He cheated others, and himself is chea­ted.

XXXVI.

Your Fellow-Traveller findes fault both in City and Countrey, and wish­eth they may finde the least faults in him, but that both by doing better may make them passages to a better place. In the mean time he is demur­ring in which he should settle, upon such considerations as these.

The City for Wealth,

The Countrey for Health.

The City for Plenty,

the Countrey for Content.

The City to gain much,

the countrey to spend to advan­tage.

The City for Furniture,

the Countrey for the use of it.

The City for Dainties,

the Countrey for Necessaries.

The City for Houses.

the Countrey for Lands.

The City for Works of Art,

the Countrey for works of Na­ture.

The City for Conversation,

the Countrey for contemplation

The City for Strangers,

the Countrey for Friends.

The City for Courtesie.

the Countrey for good turns.

The City for Wit and manners.

the countrey for Love and Plain­dealing.

The City for New Fashions.

the countrey for old customes.

[Page 37] The City for Cares.

the countrey for Pains.

The City for Winter.

the countrey for Summer.

The City to Praise,

the countrey to enjoy.

XXXVII.

Cardinall Hippolitus Nephew to Pope Clement the seventh, although of great Revenues, kept a bountiful house, and had a great many Follow­ers; which the Pope being a niggard­ly man had often in vain reprehended in him, at last coming once to his house when the Cardinall was rid a­broad, He called the Steward, and bid him bring him a Rowl of all his Attendants with their Offices, and being amazed at the great number, he takes a Pen and dashes out as many as he thought uselesse and unnecessa­ry; and giving back the Roll bids the Steward tell his Nephew that it was his will that he should dismisse all those whom he had crossed out, [Page 38] he might very well spare. Hippolitus coming home at night, the Steward delivers him the Roll with the Popes pleasure, unto which the Cardinall presently answers, It is true what my Lord saith, that I have no need of those many servants whom he hath can­cel'd, but since they have need of me, I charge you as yru respect my favour, not to put away any one of them.

XXXVIII.

Aristippus the luxurious Philoso­pher, being taxed by one for giving six Crowns for a small Fish; Why saith he, what would you have given? Some twelve-pence, said the other, Well, said Aristippus, And six Crowns are no more with me.

XXXIX.

Plato once chiding his Aristippus for buying so many Fishes, Aristip­pus told him that he had them all for an half penny; It is true, said Plato, and I could have bought them for [Page 39] so much; Why then, said Aristip­pus, You see Plato, that I do not love Victuals any more then you love your Money. One Polyenus a Sophister, coming to the same Aristippus his house, and seeing a great Feast pro­viding, began to reprehend the ex­cesse; Aristippus took no notice of it at present, but a while after sends to invite him, who comes and feeds, Now, saith Aristippus, why dost thou blame the Feast thou art willing to par­take of, I see thou dost not distike dain­ty fare but the charges.

XL.

There was a Lady in our Western parts who gave great entertainment to the Gentry thereabouts; She be­ing a good Huswife was up betimes, and call'd to one of her maids out of her window, Is the Piggy serv'd? which a Gentleman, whose lodging was near over-heard; And when the Lady came down in great State into the Great Chamber full of Compa­ny, that Gentleman begins, and [Page 40] Madam saith he, Is the Piggy serv'd? the Lady presently makes answer, You know best whether you have had your break-fast.

XLI.

One us'd to say to his guests whom he invited, If you be temperate and rea­sonable guests, here is enough for you; if not, here is too much: This would do well for him to think of, but it would do better for another to speak it.

XLII.

And it may be this was but bor­rowed from what was said of Socra­tes, to whom one finding fault with the flender provision he had for his guests, Socrates made answer, If they be good guests they will take it well, but if they be bad, it is no matter how they take it.

XLIII.

Cyrus being asked by his Grandfa­ther Astyages, Why he would drink no wine? answered, for fear lest they give me poyson, for, quoth he, I noted yesterday in the Feast of your Birth­day, [Page 41] that some body had poysoned all the wine they drank, because at the taking away of the Cloth, not one of all those that were present at the Feast arose in his right minde.

XLIV.

Crates the Theban finding fault with the cost and waste at great Feasts; others defended it, saying, this expence was made by such as had plenty; Yea but, saith Crates, you do not excuse a Cook if he put too much salt or pepper in your meats, and say, he hath plenty.

XLV.

Diogenes passing by the house of a riotous person, on which he see a note of sale, said, I knew this, that sometime or other thou wouldest spue out thy master.

XLVI.

An Italian Gentleman having sold four Fields of ground to buy him an handsome Turkish Race-horse, and riding him out one day, a Gentleman seeing him gallop, saith to his com­panion, [Page 42] O what a large stroak hath that Horse, yes, said the other, You would say so, if you knew all, for he hath leapt over four fields at one stride.

XLVII.

Another Italian Gallant coming in­to company all sweaty, in a rich Da­mask Sute; Fie upon it, saies one, how does that Gentleman sweat! and well he may, said another, having an whole Vineyard upon his back; (which it is to be understood that he had sold to put himself in brave clothes.)

XLVIII.

One Johannes Gonzaga having store of money to spare, which though it were his own already, he went to try whose it should be, had lost at dice bag after bag with much ease and pleasure, for He that plays away his money must not value it. At which his Son (Alexander by name) standing by look'd very sadly. Upon which one of the company said, Your Son here looks earnestly when you [Page 43] will win, that he may have some share with you. You are deceived, saith Gongaza; to think that Alexan­der hath any such low thoughts; You know Alexander the Great wept, fear­ing his Father Philip would leave him nothing to win; and my Alexander on the other side, is sad, fearing that I shall leave him nothing to lose; this is called Alexanders example inverted, i. e. A­lexander turned inside out, turned out of all, but I do not like these sad jests.

XLIX.

These every one, I beleeve, can parallel with some English Story. M. Cambden tels us of a great Swag­gerer, that having lately sold a Man­nor of an hundred Tenements came ruffling into the Court in a New Suit, saying, Am not I a mighty man, that bear an hundred houses on my back? which one that heard, said, he might have better employed it in paying his debts.

L.

He relates a like Story of one Sir Thomas Rokesby in K. Richard the thirds dayes, who being found fault with for being served so meanly in woodden cups and not in Plate, an­swered, These homely Cups pay truly for what they hold, and I had rather drink out of wood, and pay gold and sil­ver, then drink out of gold and silver, and make wooden payment.

LI.

A great Gallanto-Flanto-Ranto▪ that had wasted much of his Patri­mony, seeing one M. Dutton a rich Gentleman, but plain, in a Gown not of the newest cut, told him that he thought it had been his great Grand­thers Gown, It is so (said M. Dut­ton) and I have also my great Grand­fathers Lands.

LII.

Your Fellow-Traveller, where he so journed of late, heard a merry con­ceit of a Gentleman of good means, who drawing towards▪ his end was much visited by a Cosen of his a ve­ry Spend thrift, the Gentleman taking notice of his visits then, and know­ing what he look'd for, told him once or twice, that he thank'd him for his visits, and that when he died, He would leave him something to make him drink; and at last appointed him he should call for what was in the corner of such a Cup-board. The Gentleman being dead, his cosen comes to call for his Legacy, and when it was told him there was no mention of him in the Will, he de­mands the key of such a Cup-board, where indeed in the corner was found nothing but something which would make him drink, if you must know, it was a Red herring.

LIII.

Sir Edward Cook was wont to say, when a great man can came to dinner to him, and gave him no knowledge of his coming; Well, since you sent me no word of your coming, you shall dine with me, but if I had known of your coming, I would have dined with you.

LIV.

Sir Nicholas Bacon being keeper of the Seal, when Queen Elizabeth in progresse came to his house at Red▪ grave, and said to him, My Lord, what a little house have you gotten, said, Ma­dam, my house is well, but it is you that have made me too great for my house.

LV.

Ferdinand King of Castile in his progresse turned into the house of one Alphonsus a famous man, it was a stately building, but had a narrow stair-case. The King ask'ed him, why he had not made larger stairs to so fair a house? Alphonsus answers, I never [Page 47] thought so great a Guest would have come into it.

LVI.

Philip the second King of Spain in his Journey was driven by a storm into a Countreymans house, where he was forc'd to take up his lodging; the Husbandman set before him such as he had, and was much troubled at the entertainment of so great a per­son: In the morning the King calling him to him gave him thanks, and bid him ask wherein he might gratifie him: The man answers, I pray God to preserve your Majesty in life and health, and grant that I may never see you here again.

LVII.

Two Noblemen vying complements who should first go in at a door▪ one of them who seem'd to be forced to go first in (as one must go in first) said to the other, Sir, Now I think you under stand how carefull I am to be your servant, since I so readily obey you in this which puts a shame upon me.

LVIII.

One using to come a little too ost to his Friends Table, the Master of the house bid the dinner be stopp'd a while, the man asking some of the Family, Wheu the Dinner would come in, the othar answers, As soon as you are gone Sir.

LIX.

A Stranger being invited to Supper, when he see Cheese the first dish that came in to the Table, said, But in our Countrey they do not bring in Cheese till the end of Supper; It is true, said the other, and so they do with us.

LX.

Augustus Caesar was invited to Sup­per by one of his old friends, where he had but ordinary entertainment; whereupon at his going he said, I did not know that you and I were so fami­liar.

LXI.

One that was a great Eater coming to a Feast, and complaining, that He had lost his stomack, one of the Company that was a poor man, said, I hope, no body of our house hath found it, for if they have, we are utterly un­done.

LXII.

In Genua some Citizens standing at their doors, asked a Countreyman passing by for sports sake, what time of the year Countreymen took most pleasure in; In the Winter time, said the Countreyman, for then we can sit about the fire, rosting of turneps and chestnuts, and lie and sleep most sweetly by the Fire side, what do you think of this life? Truly said one Citizen, You seem somewhat akin to the Hogs: Why, said the Countreyman, What time of the Year do you of the City like best? What but the Spring, Fellow? said the other, when all is fresh and green, when the flowers grow, and the Birds [Page 50] sing; Then said the Countreyman, You are are some akin to our Asse, who at that time of the year never leaves braying.

LXIII.

Scipio canvasing for Aedile, meet­ing one of the people, and taking him by the hand, feeling it hard and braw­ny, ask'd him in jest, Whether he went upon his hands or his feet? at which the Countreyman took such offence that he went about to his compani­ons, and told them how much Scipio scorned the people, which raised such an indignation against him in the multitude, that Scipio lost their suf­frages and the office.

LXIV.

A Shepheard having spied an huge Toad gazed upon it, and fell a weep­ing. And being asked by a Cardinall riding that way why he wept? I Weep, saith he, to think, that I never yet have thanked God for his blessing in [Page 51] making me a man; and not such an odi­ous beast as this is; See, saith the Car­dinall, how these Countreymen steal away heaven from us.

LXV.

To this we may adde what M. Ful­ler▪ hath from report of a Gentleman travelling in a misty morning, that ask'd a Shepheard, What Weather it would be? It will be, said the Shep­heard, what weather pleaseth me, and being courteously requested to ex­presse his meaning; Sir, saith he, it shall be what Weather pleaseth God, and what weather pleaseth God pleaseth me. This is the only sure way to have our wils.

LXVI.

Pope Paul the third riding once out of Rome to take the air, met a Coun­treyman, who was an ancient proper man of a lively fresh colour, with a Beard down to the Girdle, in home­ly but comely clothes, the Pope cals [Page 52] him to him, and ask'd him of his age and condition of life; The man saies, that he was above fourscore and ten, that he was an husbandman, and li­ved upon a small Farm he had, and that every day for business or the ex­ercise of his body, he walked on foot a mile or two, that he had a Wife, and Children, Grand▪children, and great Grand-children, which made him stirre about for them. And be­ing asked by what means he kept that strength of Body at that Age, He answered, He had no changes of meat or clothes, he used no sawces, and he drove away all care from his heart as much as he could. The Pope pleased with the man and his answer assign'd him a yearly pension of an hundred Crownes, that he might spend the rest of his time the more cheerfully. He thanks the Pope in these words, I deny not, Holy Father, but that I owe you most humble thanks for your great Bounty; yet I know that this will rather take away from the years of my life, then adde any thing to them.

LXVII.

The Lord Verulam in that excel­lent work of his History of Life and Death, among others, tels a story of an ancient man above an hundred years old, who was brought into the Court for a witnesse upon some ancient prescription; who, when the Testimony was finished, was asked familiarly by the Judge, By what means he came to live so long, the man answers (cross to expecta­tion and with the laughter of the company) by eating before I was hun­gry, and drinking before I was thirsty.

LXVIII.

Stories of long lived Countreymen in our Countrey are needlesse; for as the same Authour observes, in Eng­land there is scarce a Village with any store of people, where there is not to be found some one man or woman of fourscore, And not long since in [Page 54] Herefordshire there was a Morrice­dance by eight men, whose age rec­koned together made up eight hun­dred years compleat, some having o­ver and above what the other wanted of an hundred.

LXIX.

Two Citizens being rid abroad in the Spring, by chance they heard the Cuckow singing: Now it is known who are noted by that Birds name, where a poor injur'd man must suffer more also by the scorns of foolish wantons; The Citizens hearing this Bird, began to laugh one upon ano­ther, and to ask, To which of them the Bird dies sing? and from contesting they fel [...] to contending, from jest to earnest, and to a Sute of Law at last; where the Lawyers having tam'd their purses sufficiently, the Judge in the end pronounced this Sentence, that the Cuckow did sing to neither the one nor the other of them, but to her self only.

LXX.

There is an old superstitious say­ing among common people, that if an Hare crosse the way it is bad luck, but if a Woolf it is good luck; unto which it is not amisse to adde this Story which I finde of a Countrey­man, who going with his Cart and Horses to fetch wood, an Hare meet­ing him he drew back again; The next day going again, his man spies a Woolf in the Wood, and came and told him; O, saith he, Master, never fear, good luck, good luck, Pliny is witnesse. A little while after, they being about their work, and the horses let loose for grasing, the Woolf comes and singles out one of them, and after he had saluted the Horse clawing him after his man­ner, he suddenly thrust his head in­to his belly and pulled out his guts, which the Servant having seen, runs to his Master, and tels him, that good luck was gotten into the middle of [Page 56] their Horses belly; which the good man found true, and became a sport to his neighbours. Of such and thou­sands more of these Vulgar Errours, there is a Learned Work extant of an excellent man Doctor Brown, as likewise of D. Primrose in Points of Physick; but concerning the origi­nall of this in hand, there is ano­ther learned man which gives a pret­ty guesse; that the observation is true indeed, yet no more but this, that if an Hare crosse our way (and scape our catching) it is bad luck; but if a Woolf crosss our way (and be gone, and so we escape his setting upon us) it is good luck: and this being thus spo­ken at first in jest by some witty fel­low, came after to be taken in ear­nest by the simpler sort▪

LXXI.

A certain Countesse of the City Cosence in Calabria, her Husband lately dead, being to certifie by let­ter the Corporation, who were her [Page 57] Subjects, of their new Tenure, sub­scribed, The sad and unhappy Widow, &c. They thinking to imitate her, and that they must give her her own Titles, direct their letter back, The Aldermen, Magistrates, and Gover­nours, &c. To the sad and unhappy Widow our Lady, &c. and in the be­ginning, Most illustrious and sad La­dy, &c. These people, although they bred the famous Telesius, yet why they were called Brutii, you may partly guesse by this story.

LXXII.

Nic. Picinninus a great Souldier but a blunt man, meeting Antonius Panormitanus a famous Scholar, and intending to passe a Complement, thus bespeaks him, May I not live Antony, if I do not wish my self blinde as oft as I see you. Panormitan troub­led at these words, sayes, Why so my Lord, since there is none that does ho­nour your valour and brave actions more than I? Picinninus smiling, and [Page 58] straing to expresse himself most elo­quently, Thus it is, saith he, As oft as I see you with so great store of Lear­ning, and then again consider my self with so great store of little wit; I both hate my self as contrary to you, and I also reverence you as a learned man.

LXXIII.

A Woman, whose childe was a naturall Fool, was directed in wag­gery to a Gentleman in Florence, who had been distracted, she comes to him, and saies, Sir, I was told that you were once out of your wits, and I have a childe that is now in that case; I pray you tell me how you were cured; The Gentleman perceiving the sim­plicity of the woman, said, O good wo­man, do not go about to cure him, for I never had a merrier time in all my dayes then when I was mad.

LXXIV.

A Prince kept a Fool, and one of the Court to vex him said, Sirrah, I will kill thee, he run trembling to the King, and told his danger; The King saies to him, Take a good hear [...], if he kill thee, I will hang him; No, saith the Fool, not so, but I would have him hanged one day before he kill me.

LXXV.

A Fool being brought to Court, and commended to a German Prince, the Prince ask'd him whether he would live with him, No, saith the Fool, I will live with my Father: why wilt thou not live with me but with thy Father, said the Prince; Why, saith he, my Father got a Fool of his own for himself, and do you get a Fool of your own as my Father did.

LXXVI.

Another Noblemans Fool that was made the Neatheard, when he see them at home in trimming their hor­ses to cut off their tayls; he gets him into the Field, and cuts off all the Oxen and Cows tayls, and comes loaden home with them, shouting and singing; and when some of the house chid him, I love, saith the Fool, to have handsome cattle as well as my Master.

LXXVII.

A certain Rope-dancer got a fall, at which all the standers by fell a laughing, only one natural fool there began to cry; some asking him why he cry'd, because (saith he) all men call me a Fool, and yet I ever kept the ground, and never went in the Ayre, or got a fall as that Fellow did. De­mocritus laughs to see some of his Readers so solemn as to be weary [Page 61] of these few fooleries, and others a­gain to long as much for more of them, as the people did beg of Dema­des and Demosthenes to end their mer­ry tales. And this would not be the book it promiseth unlesse it did satis­fie a little the latter sort of Readers▪ therefore to proceed.

LXXVIII.

There is one who is somewhat a kin to our Democritus, who hath gather­ed to his hand the Priviledges of beg­gars. 1. They are Citizens of the whole world, Ʋbiquitarians, every house is theirs, they are never out of their way. 2. They can lose no­thing, and every day they are a gain­ing. 3. A Gift of theirs is more worth, and men give more for it then they do for any thing they can buy in the market. 4. No body ever begs of them, but they beg of every Passenger. 5. No man sues any of them at Law, no Creditor troubles them; if they sue any other, no Law­yer [Page 62] looks for fee of them, and their cause, Pauperis causa is a plea to be heard before any others. 6. No bo­dy envies them, no body slanders them, no body takes notice what they do or say. 7. They sleep better in straw then others on down-beds. 8. They fear neither Souldiers nor Robbers, nor Theeves. An hundred Souldiers cannot spoil a naked man, Cantabit vacuus. That which thou hast not no man can take from thee: An earthen pot once broke can take no more harm. It is in vain for pil­ferers to think to finde that in their hovels at night which they them­selves cannot finde at day. 9. They are free from all Customes, Taxes, or Excises; and this they have by birth­right, and by the Law of Nations, and they pay nothing for this freedome. 10. Moreover all Princes and great men, Citizens and rich men are tyed to pay tribute to them; and to pro­vide for them before they provide for Horses, Hawks or Hounds, Feasts or fine clothes, and before they offer [Page 63] to fill the other bag. And lastly, if there had been no sweetnesse in Po­verty, sure so many wise men of old had not made choice of it, so many Philosophers had not beg'd, Fabritius had not preferred his Turneps before the Samnites gold, and Alexander Monarch of the world had not long­ed to change states with Diogenes, whereas we do not reade that Dio­genes desired or cared to be Alexan­der.

LXXIX.

Diogenes begging (as divers Phi­losophers then used) did beg more of a Prodigall man then of the rest there present; Whereupon one said to him, See your basenesse, that when you finde a liberall minde you will take most of; No (said Diogenes) but I mean to beg of the rest again.

LXXX.

We reade of a famous Rogue (Rogue à Rogator) in Austria, who [Page 64] having spent a fair Estate of his Fa­thers, and was turned Beggar, would say, that his Father had payd yearly fifty Crowns in tributes and taxes, and so much in servants wages, &c. all which trouble and charge he had eas'd him in, and made an end of; the same fellow would say, that he was not turned Beggar but Courtier, for men had rather see him without doors then within.

LXXXI.

There is a famous story of one, and some name his Countrey to be Spain, who being to be whipped through a Towne, walked with a grace very stately; whom one pity­ing and bidding him mend his pace to rid himself the sooner out of his pain, my Gentleman took it ill, and said, What is it to thee, Fellow, how I go? when thou art whipt thou mayest use what pace thou pleasest, and let me now, I pray thee, use the pace which I think most becomes me.

LXXXII.

A clamorous Beggar following a Gentleman, who had not at present to give him, and would not tell the Beggar so, the Gentleman at last turns back, and sayes, a man knows not to whom to be charitable among so many of you, for there are some such curst fellows, that if a man do not give them something, they will curse him to his face. O Sir, sayes the Beg­gar, you are mistaken in me, I am none of those; Then, said the Gentleman, Go your wayes, I will try you for once.

LXXXIII.

One hearing Beggars earnestly and importunately craving for Gods sake, &c said, These men that thus begg or rather challenge in Gods Name do live by him whom I am afraid they seldom serve, for I have seen hundreds of them before Church-doors, and scarce one of them in ten years within the Church in [Page 66] the time of service. The same person when he heard any of them singing or roaring, would say, I cannot tell how to pity this man for he is merrier then I; and when he heard others in a set tune and frame of fine words, he would say, this man is a workman at his trade, he hath no need of me.

LXXXIV.

When the Emperour Frederick the third was at the Diet at Norimberge, a Beggar comes to Court, and is ear­nest to be let in, for he was the Em­perours Brother, the Beggar being importunate, the News comes to the Emperour, who bids him be call'd in before him, and asks him whence he▪ came to be his Brother, the Beggar answers, from our first Father Adam; the Emperour bids one of his Fol­lowers give him a Sous; the bold Beggar comes on again, and sayes, It doth not become you, Most Noble Emperour, who are so rich to give your Brother so poor a gift; Go thy [Page 67] way, saies the Emperour, and if every one of thy Brethren give thee as much, thou Wilt be richer then I am. The like Story is reported of another Beg­gar, who came to Albert Duke of Saxony, begging a Penny of him for kindred sake: What kindred? said the Duke, by Adam, said the Beg­gar, the Father of us all: Get thee gone, said the Duke, for if I should give a Penny to every one of my kins­men by Adam, it is not my Patrimony and Dukedome would serve to do it.

LXXXV.

Among this rabble it were fit De­mocritus should tell you something of Cheaters, but he is afraid honest men would be angry with him to teach o­thers how to cheat them; and the Cheaters would laugh at him to of­fer to teach them who may be his Masters: they that live about Tyburn can tell you how the Cheater is chea­ted at last. Though there be more Cheaters in City and Countrey then [Page 68] those that hang in your way, and it is known what he of old laugh'd at, to see the Great Theeves send the little ones to the Gallows, to see little theeves in iron Chains, and great theeves in gold chains.

LXXXVI.

Thirlby Bishop of Ely being Em­bassadour at Rome in King Edward the sixths dayes, one of his men having negligently laid his Livery Cloak in his Lodgings had lost it, whereat the Bishop chiding his carelesnesse, the Servant answered, He never suspect­ed Theeves in so holy a place as Rome▪ Away Fool (quoth the Bishop) when thou comest into a strange place, think all men to be Theeves, yet take heed thou do not call them Theeves.

LXXXVII.

Of such as have come from Beg­gery to Wealth and Dignities, Ex­amples are every where to be had, but their severall behaviours and the cen­sures of men hereupon are observa­ble. Agathocles though but a Potters Son was exalted to be King of Sicily, and he was so far from being asha­med of his Birth, as that when he was King he would be served in no o­ther then Earthen plate▪ to shew how nobly he was descended. And one Willigis, who was but a Wheelers son, was advanced to be Archbishop of Mentz, one of the Prince Electors in Germany, and he had for his Coat of Armes, three Wheels, with this Mot­to, Willigis, Willigis, recole unde vene­ris, O Willigis remember Whence thou camest.

LXXXVIII.

One Isaac born to digging and del­ving, yet by his valour and wisedom having gain'd the highest honours under Bajazet the Turkish Emperor, had hanging in his Hall, where he gave audience and accesse to all co­mers, a Spade, wherewith he used to dig for his living, and he would of­ten show it his Children, telling them, That was his Armes, and as often as they see this, they should think by the like diligence and inte­grity to prove worthy of their Em­perours favour.

LXXXIX.

Sixtus V. Pope being born in a thatcht cottage, of mean Parents, in a poor village Montalte, would sport himself with it, and say, that He was born of a most illustrious house, for the Sun in one moment did enlighten it in a thousand chinks and crannies.

XC.

Sigismund the Emperour much ho­noured Learned Counsellours and Scholars, and would say, that He could make a thousand Knights in one day, but he could not make a Doctor in a thousand years: Which Speech be­ing distasted by his Nobles, the Em­rour qualified it thus; That he could make Noble and rich whom he would, and such they were if he made them so, But he could not make a man wise and learned; this was an ability where­with God had ennobled a man: It is true, extraordinary Gifts or parts (as men call them) with great pains in publique services, lay the foundation to Nobility, and extraordinary edu­cation, with noble dispositions and actions, does preserve and continue it▪

XCI.

Harmodius a Nobleman born, up­braiding Iphicrates a valiant Captain, that he was a Shoemakers son. My Nobility (saith the Captain) takes its beginning from me▪ and thine in thee is taking her Farewell. The like we finde, that when in the presence of King Alfonsus they were discoursing of a famous man Nicolaus Picinninus, and one was commending his skill in Military affairs, another the power he had with his Souldiery, an­other his valiant Acts, and some one thing some another: There was one conceited of his own Nobility, who interpos'd, saying, These were something indeed, if he were not a But­chers Son. To whom Alfonsus repli­ed, And I truly had rather be Nico­laus Picinninus then some Kings Son. And the King hath the Poets suffrage for this speech.

XCII.

Fabius Grimanus being Provost of Padua under the state of Venice, a Company of Students had set on a ragged starveling poor Fellow, whom they hired for ten Crowns, that he should meet the said Provost as he came out of the Church, kisse his hand, and audibly challenge him for his brother. Grimanus not awhit daunted at this new greeting, cour­teously re-salutes the man, and con­ducts him into his Palace; where having examined and understood the whole contrivance of the businesse, he presently commands the gates of the City to be shut, and call'd before him all those Students who had an hand in this project. When they [Page 74] appeared, he tels them with a calm countenance, that by their kindenesse and diligence this day he had found a Brother, but so needy and bare, that to set him forth as was becoming a Bro­ther of his, there would be need of no little money: Wherefore he desired them, as they had taken no small pains in finding him out a Brother, so they would show the like liberality in appa­relling him, and every of them pay down a convenient summe of money to­wards it. They excuse, beg and be­seech him, that he would pardon this fault, that it was done in jest, out of rashnesse of youth and wantonnesse. But the Governour was earnest, and told them his Brother must have bet­ter clothes, and Money for Expences too: nor did he dismisse them his custody, till every one had laid down an hundred Crowns apeece for this new naked brother whom they had begot for him.

XCIII.

A certain Antiquary came to the Emperour Maximilian the second, desiring leave of him to search the Archives and ancient Records to de­duce his Pedigree. And what moves thee to this? saith the Emperour, Only, said the other, a desire to serve and satisfie your Majesty and the whole Austrian Family. The Empe­rour replyes, You may do as you please, but I fear me, if you be honest and ac­curate in your search, you may at last bolt out some Cobler or the like Founder of our Family.

In great Pedegrees there are Gover­nours and Chandlers.

XCIV.

It is delivered from Mr. Fuller as a thing most strange, and yet most true, that the Armes of the Duke of Rhoan in France, which are Fusibs or Lozenges, are to be seen in the Wood or Stone throughout all his Countrey; Yea, and the same, saith he, is observed in England, for the resemblance of Stars, the Armes of the Worshipfull Family of the Shug­buryes in Warwickshire, are found in the stones within their own Mannor of Shugbury. But though stones of such forms be rarities, yet not so strange to those that have consulted Gaffarell, and Lapis Asterites is by M. Cambden set down as a known and no strange stone, no stranger then Stella piscis or Stellio the breast; They were indeed most strange, if it were certain that the Armes of these Fa­milies were before the stones, and such stones no where else to be found; but that these Fami­lies should take their Armes upon observation of such a Rarity within [Page 77] their Grounds, is not strange, and to make such stones Touch-stones of Nobility, would much shrink and straiten the Families of Nobles.

XCV.

One Benedictus Albizius a Noble­man and a Scholar came to one new­ly made Cardinall, to give his old Friend joy of his new honour. But the Catdinall looking strangely on him as if he knew him not: Albizi­us speaks thus to him; You Cardinals, I see, are to be condoled rather then congratulated; for as if by gaining a Dignity you had lost your senses, you can neither see nor hear; you cannot discern your friends face nor voice; and it is well since you acknowledge not them if you know your selves. The Lord Verulam reports the like of a Gen­tleman in Italy, that wrote to a great Friend of his advanced to be a Cardi­nall, That he was very glad of his ad­vancement for the Cardinals own sake, but he was sorry that himself had lost so good a friend.

XCVI.

There is another Story registred, and as the shame would have it, of another Cardinall too; One of the Trent Doctors that Marrow of The­ologists▪ as Campian saith, who being a Fishermans Sonne born, whilest he was in his inferiour Orders▪ would alwaies cause a Net to be spread under his Table▪cloth, that at his rising from mear, when the Cloth was ta­ken away, the Net might minde him whence he came; But being after sa­luted with a Red Hat, the Net was laid aside; and so one desiring a rea­son for that, he said, Why? I have now caught what I fisht for. Thus the Abbot went stooping while he was seeking the keyes of the Abbey, but when he had found them, he looked bolt upright.

XCVII.

One coming into an Inne in mean clothes, was suted accordingly with mean company, where not finding himself respected according to his worth, he began to brag largely of his Parentage, before those to whom such discourse is distastefull and ridi­culous; to whom one of the men said bluntly, Get you hence with your Gentility, I am sure our Millers horse is nobler then you, for he never goes a­broad without a man to wait upon him. Another the like is storied of a stran­ger tediously bragging before some Countrey fellows of his Noble kin­dred, whom when one of them flout­ed; Thou mean fellow, said he, dost thou know wherein Nobility con­sists? Yes, very well, said the Coun­treyman, it consists in being an hun­dred mile off from where a man was born, or threescore from where he is known, Chi si loda si lorda, saith the Italian; He that boasts of his Genti­lity [Page 80] bewrays it, and bewrays his own basenesse, for as they have also in an­other Provetb, Ʋnlucky children doe most commend their Parents.

XCVIII.

A Spanish Embassadour coming to see that so much cry'd up Treasury at S. Marks in Venice, fell a groping at the bottom of the Chests and Trunks; And being asked why he did so? He answered, In this among other things my Masters Treasure differs from yours, in that His hath no bottome, as I finde yours to have, alluding to the Mines in Mexico, Peru, and other parts of the Western Indies. This may hold in the comparison of Estates in Lands and Moneys, Fundus non habet fun­dum.

XCIX.

This and the former should have had their place before, but perhaps they will do well here for a closing consideration to men of great Estates in City or Countrey. Selymus the great Turk, as he lay languishing (his incurable disease still encreasing) lea­ning his head in the lap of Pyrrhus his Bassa, whom of all others he most loved I see, said he, O Pyrrhus, I must shortly dye without remedy; Where­upon the great Bassa took occasion to talk with him of many great mat­ters; And amongst others, that it would please him to give order for the great wealth taken from the Per­sian Merchants in divers places of his Empire, perswading him to bestow the same upon some notable Hospitall for relief of the Poor. To whom Se­lymus replyed, Wouldst thou Pyrrhus, that I should bestow other mens goods wrongfully taken from them, upon works of Charity and Devotion for my own▪ [Page 82] Vain-glory and praise? Assuredly I will never do it, Nay see they be given again to the right owners; Which was forthwith done accordingly. I am afraid this Turk shall rise up in judge­ment against some Christians; for either he is no Turk, or we no such Christians as we should be.

C.

A Fable of Aesop shall close this Period of our Travels: ‘The Bat, the Bramble, and the Cor­morant, were resolv'd to turn Merchants, and to be Partners in the same adventure; The Bats stock was ready money which he had borrowed: the Brambles was wool and cloth which he had catch'd from sheeps backs in passing by) and the Cormorants was a Treasure of a wrack which he had found as he was fishing by the shore. Having put in their lading, they set to Sea. But a storm arising, their ship sunk, and their goods were all lost▪ and them­selves [Page 83] only escaped to land; Now ever since the Bat fearing creditors, keeps close all day, and walks only some few short turns at night; And the Bramble is catching at every passenger to get some more cloth; and the Cormorant follows the Sea­shores fishing for his living and watching what the Sea will cast up.’ The Morall of this Fable you must not look for out of your boyes books, for they that affixed those Morals have seldome reached the wit of Esop. Eras­mus thinks this Fable fathered on Ae­sop and unworthy of him, but Erasmus did not so well look into it; Democri­tus who is an acquaintance of Aesop▪ and knows much of his minde, thinks the Fable his own legitimate and that Aesop here points at three sorts of men who get their living three severall waies, and they seldom thrive or grow rich; The first is, of such as live by borrowing, and purchase by Use mo­ney, and these commonly run so much in debt that they are forced to turn Bats, and dare not shew their heads. [Page 84] Others with the Cormorant gape for wracks, losing what may fall, and live upon hopes, and feed upon shoares, and places vacant▪ desart, and forsaken by others, where they fish for their living by new inventions and fancies; and of this sort are Astrologers, For­tune-tellers, Chymists, Mountebanks, Projectors, and Cheaters of many sorts. The third and worst sort of men who are figured by the Bramble, are those that live by snatching, as Theeves, Robbers, Pirates, mercenary Souldiers, quarrelsome Sollicitors, In­formers, and all seditious persons, who sit upon other mens skirts, and are ready to rent and tear all they meet. And all these, as is noted in the Fable, keep their old courses, and are seldom reclaim'd to a better kinde of life, the debtor runs on borrowing till he run himself out of all; the Projector, &c. never leaves his Fancies till he be a Beggar: Nor the theef, &c. will e­ver cease stealing till the Gallows makes an end of him: And the goods of all these are well set down in the [Page 85] Fable to be lost and cast away; for Money borrowed or found, or stolen, as it is quickly gotten, so it is quickly gone, and nothing but what is gained by honest care and pains hath a bles­sing to be lasting.

I.

LAwyers and Physicians must here have the first place, because they live when most other Scholars go a begging; and they are amphi­bia, they get their living in City or Countrey, at home or abroad; though one saith, it is a bad signe of a bad [Page 90] place to live in, where there are ei­ther many Lawyers or many Physi­cians.

II.

An Advocate pleading for his De­sendant, bespeaks the Judge with a Preface, that he might have his Lord­ships leave to pleade in the behalf of that good man, the Judge assenting, Now my Lord, said the Lawyer, you must in justice acquit this man, whom you have allowed to be a good man; the Judge replied, It is true, a good man he is, and shall be for me, unlesse the proofs against him make it evident that he is guilty. Quod non improbatur, prasumitur.

III.

A Prisoner indited for Felony was asked by the Iudge what he had to say for himself, Truly My Lord, sayes he, I did mean no hurt to the man from whom I stole, only it was an ill custome that I had gotten, Why then, sayes the [Page 91] Iudge, if it be thy custome to steal, it is my custome to hang up Theeves.

IV.

There were two came before Ari­stides, the Accuser said, O Aristides, this man did you such an injury at such a time, thinking by this suggestion to have made him partiall. Aristides replies, Friend, I sit not here to hear what he hath done against me, but what he hath done against thee: This was Aristides the Iust, and Exuit personam Judicis, qui amici vel Hostis induit.

V.

In Flanders a Flemmish Tiler fal­ling from the top of an House kill'd a Spaniard passing by, though himself escap'd alive by the breach of the fall. Some of the Spaniards kindred pro­secutes this Tiler very hard for his life, urging Lex Talionis, the Iudge answered, that since he did urge that law, he should have it,; He should go [Page 92] up to the top of the house, and thence fall down upon the Tiler. Praestare cul­pam homo debet, non oasum.

VI.

One Petrus Niger travelling tho­row a Countrey village, a Dogge comes out of a House, and runs at him fiercely; but he having a picked staffe in his hand runs the Dogge through and kils him. The Owner of the Dogge draws the man before a Iustice, and he chides the man for being so cruell; And why (said he) must you use the iron end of the staffe, and not rather have beaten him with the fore-end, Because, said the man, the Dog ran at me with his teeth, and not with his tayle.

VII.

There were three young Fellows had gathered a great deal of money by Piracy, and resolv'd at last to goe to such a City to spend the rest of their life more securely. And that they might agree upon what they had got in common, they put all their money into a Scriveners hands, upon these terms, that He should not part with a Penny to any one of them, unlesse they all three were present. A while after, one of them more cun­ning then his fellows, perswades them, it would be much better for them to buy some house and ground, that they might use in common and live upon together. Upon which they go to the Scrivener, and give him warning to call in their money in rea­dinesse, which they world shortly call for. In the mean time they bar­gain for an House, and one day when two of them were riding abroad, the third cunning fellow tels them, there [Page 94] was present use of fifty Duckats for some furniture he had bespoke for the House; which they bid him ask for of the Scrivener, and withall as they rid by, bid the Scrivener give their Partner what he called for. He comes presently after, and takes up all the money, layes it on horseback, and conveys it and himself out of the way. After, the other two return­ing home, the Scrivener tels them, how according to their appointment he had delivered up to their Partner all the Money. They finding it in vain to pursue their Fellow, sue the Scrivener in Court, alledging he had broke Covenant, the Condition a­greed upon being, that he should de­liver no money to any but when they were all present. The Scrivener not a little troubled at this, consults one Gellius Aretinus a crafty Lawyer, who upon some deliberation gives him this advice, that he should confesse in Court, that it was an oversight in him to pay the money, and that he was ready to pay it again, according [Page 95] to the tenour of the Writing drawn between them, which was that it should not be paid but when they three were present; Wherefore let them bring forth their third man, and he should be ready to pay them. This Democritus was more willing to tran­scribe at large, that it may be exem­plary; for he hath heard the like ad­vice mutato nomine, with little altera­tion of the case, given by our famous M. Noy.

VIII.

Cicero had occasion to call in Clau­dius Popilius an ignorant Lawyer for a witnesse, He coming in, said, He knew nothing, Cicero replyes, I pray you think not that I am asking you in point of Law.

IX.

In the accusation of Clodius a sedi­tious young Nobleman, Cicero among others gave in evidence upon oath a­gainst him, but the Iury (which con­sisted of 57▪) being for the major part bribed, passed against the Evi­dence. One day after in the Senate, Cicero and Clodius falling out, Clodi­us upbraided him, saying, The Jury gave you no credit. Cicero answered, Five and twenty gave me credit, but there were two and thirty that gave you no credit, for they had their money a­forehand. The same Iury, before they gave up their verdict, prayed of the Senate a Guard, that they might do their conscience freely against Clodi­us, Catulus the next day seeing some of them that had acquitted him toge­ther, said to them, What made you to ask of us a Guard? were you afraid your money should have been taken from you?

X.

A Merchant in a Suit he had with a Countryman, had sent in to the Iudge for a Fee they call it (in plain English a bribe) a Vessell of Oyle; His adversary understanding of it pre­sented the Iudge with a Fat Hog; the Countreyman carrying the case, the Merchant came to the Iudge, com­plaining and upbraiding him with his gift; the Iudge answered him, that he did remember his Oyle, but there was a filthy great Hog, burst into his House, and had broke the Vessell, and spilt all the Oyle. This man did in­deed oleum & operam perdere, The Lawyers Tongue like the tongue of a ballance, inclines that way where there is most weight.

XI.

There was a Iudge in Poland called Ictus (it may be like Dives in the Pa­rable, but named so by the Lawyers abbreviation for Juris-consultus, for most Lawyers are such) who a long time had stood for a poor man the Plaintiff against a rich man the De­fendant; but in the end he took a Fee of the Defendant, and a conside­rable summe, stamped according to the usuall stamp of the Countrey, with the Image of a man in compleat armour, and in the next Sessions in Court judged the cause in favour of the Defendant. But being taxed for it in private, he shewed his friend the Coyn he received, and demanded of him, Quis possit iot armat is resistere? Who is able to stand against such an Army as this? This mans Conscience was not Musket-proof.

XII.

Laurentius Medices canvasing for a place in Florence, a Friend told him that he could help him with such a mans suffrage, For, said he, for a pot­tle of wine a man may leade him which way he please. Is it so? saith Lauren­tius, What shall become of me then, is some body give him two pottles of wine? Precio parata vincitur precio Fides.

XIII.

Sir Thomas Moore had sent him by a Suitor in Chancery two silver Flag­gons, when they were presented by the Gentlemans Servant; He said to one of his men, Have him to the Cel­lar, and let him have of my best Wine: And turning to the Servant he said, Friend, tell thy Master, if he like it, let him not spare it. And when his Lady at another time offered him a great Bribe in the behalf of a Suppli­ant, he turned away with these [Page 100] words, Gentle Eve, I will none of your Apple. Rejecit alto dona nocentium vultu.

XIV.

Marcus Curio had a bribe sent him to tempt him to be unfaithfull to his Countrey, the Messenger that brought the reward of iniquity found him at dinner with a dish of Turneps, and proffered him the Money, but he refused it, saying, Let this be prof­fered to those that cannot be content to dine with Turnips as I do.

XV.

Alexander sent to Phocion a great summe of money, Phocion said to the Messenger, Why doth the King send to me? the Messenger answered, Be­cause he takes you to be a good man: Phocyon replies, If he think so, pray let him suffer me to be good still.

XVI.

A Noble Lord (who for his other Excellencies shall be namelesse) be­ing in a great office where he us'd to be (as the Lord Bacon phraseth it) twice paid, and though he himself cared not for Money, receive Bribes by the back door of Servants, being put out of his place for it, that day passing through the Hall where his Gentlemen sate at dinner, they as their manner was rose up at his co­ming by which he observing said to them, Nay Gentlemen sit down, for your rising is my Fall.

XVII.

Alphonsus Pazzius (perhaps on­ly nick-nam'd so from his simplicity) a Nobleman of Florence had a Suit at Law, where his adversary brawling with him, said, that it was a signe he was not well in his wits, since his Fa­ther had appointed twelve Guardians [Page 102] over him, Alphonsus answers, My Father knew that he who hath Lands hath quarrels, but if he had known that I should have had to do with thee, he would have given me four and twenty Guardians.

XVIII.

Gerson tels of an ancient Matron who came to Orleance, and going to see one of their Innes of Court, ask­ed what was the businesse of those Students there? One answered, they studied Law to be able to pleade in the Countrey; Alas, said the woma [...] what a Countrey will there be when all these are let loose, for in our Covn­trey we have but one Atturney, and [...] sets us all by the ears together. One was saying, that the number of Law­yers would marre the Trade; O no, said M. Heywood, for ever the more spa­niels in the fields▪ the more game. Law­yers, if they do not finde quarrels, can make them.

XIX.

Rodulphus Count of Habspurg, who was the first that brought the Impe­riall dignity into the Austrian Fami­ly, had some Sutes with his Neigh­bours, but one especially with a po­tent Abbot, The Earl once comes upon the Abbot at dinner time, and makes himself his guest, his follow­ers wondring at it. After dinner ha­ving talked a while with the Abbot, he made an agreement with him. And at his departure said to his Followers, He that hath three Sutes in Law, and hath composed two shall do well to make [...]end of the third; And this course proved happy to the Earl, for that Abbot afterwards became a great help to him against his Enemies; They that have tried it say, that a bad agreement is better then a good Judgement.

XX.

There was a Minister to be deprived for Non-conformity, who said to some of his Friends, That if they depri­ved him, it should cost a hundred mens lives; The party understood it, as if being a turbulent fellow, he would have mov'd sedition, and complain'd of him, whereupon being convented and apposed upon that speech, he said, his meaning was, that if he lost his Benefice he would practise Physick (where he should be Homicida cum privilegio) and then he thought he should kill an hundred men in time. In a Millers hand, saith Guevard, we tr [...] only our meal, and in a Lawyers hands only our Goods, &c. but in a Physicians hands we trust our lives.

XXI.

There was a Physician commended to a Prince for a rare man; The Prince in sport said to him, I enter­tain [Page 105] no Physician, vnlesse he have first killed thirty men. The Physician per­ceiving it was spoke merrily answer­ed, And I am not far from that num­ber. for I have already buried nine and twenty. Nay then, said the Prince, you are not for me, for I am afraid I must be the thirtieth man; The say­ings are common, Non est bonus Me­dicus, nisi qui impleverit coemiterium, and Res misera Medicus, cvi nun­quam bene est, nifimale sit quamplu­rimis.

XXII.

The former story may be feigned, but in history it is recorded concern­ing one Reuda (or Reuder or Reu­ther) a Scotch King, who would never suffer any young Physcian to begin their practice in his own King­dom, nor admit them at home till after twenty years experience in his enemies countreys.

XXIII.

Asclepiades they say, made a bar­gain with Fortune, that he should not be trusted for a Physician, if he were ever sick himselfe. He was hap­py man if he kept his bargain. But there was a bargain among the Goths, the Patient was obliged afore-hand to pay the summe agreed on, and the Physician was obliged to the cure, or else to lose his Physick and his pains.

XXIV.

Heraclitus being sick examined his Physician concerning the cause of his sicknesse; but finding that he was ignorant and did faulter, he would take none of his Physick saying, If he be not able to shew me the cause, he is lesse able to take away the cause of my disease▪

XXV.

There was a Gentleman fell very sick; and a Friend of his said to him, Sir, you are in danger, I pray send for a Physician. But the sick man ans­wered, It is no matter, for if I dye, I will dye at leisure. Perhaps some such conceit as this stuck in the Gentle­mans head, Vis magno tibi precio mor­tem emere? Medicum Negotiatorem vitae consule.

XXVI.

There is a grave Authour that writes jests of Scholars (but such as were bred in Gotam College) He brings in a Scholar meeting his Phy­sician and saying to him, I pray Sir pardon me; and be not angry that I have not been sick of late. Democritus thinks not this, as the Authour seems to deliver it, to be spoken simply, but with an eye to that saying, Me­dicus est nullus, si bene circumspicias, [Page 108] qui amicos suos bene valere cupit. And Pausanias had some such like consi­deration, who when his Physician met him and said, I am glad to see you in good health, Pausanias answer­ed, That comes to passe, because I have made no use of you; Now to these Democritus hath a ready answer in behalf of his Friends the Physi­cians.

XXVII.

And so where Democritus findes in another (who for the tryall of his wit writes against Learning with a great deal of learning) an objecti­on against Physicians, that in the Countrey there is health where there are no Physicians, but in Cities where are most Physicians there are most sick: Democritus thinks his words mis-placed, and that he should say, [Page 109] In the Countrey where there is health, there are no Physicians, but in Cities where there are most sick, there are most Physicians, which will be no dis­paragement, that they live most where they are most usefull and need­full.

XXVIII.

Aeneas Sylvius (who was after Pope Pius) being near his death, and the Physicians giving him hopes of life and recovery, said, This is the misery of great persons, that even in death they do not want Flatterers. But to this there is an Answer framed, that they who are to be the means of life love not to be the Messengers of Death.

XXIX.

One Baccius a Physician in Flo­rence, who was able enough, but he had a worm in his pate, was sent for to the curing of a Woman; where feeling her Pulse, and looking upon her, he asked her, How old she was; [Page 110] She told him, Threescore and three, at which speech he flung aside her arm, and gat him gone saying, Why how long would you live in this world? Perhaps the Climactericall year, which is another crotchet, was in his head.

XXX.

Cardan tels of one that had such a Receipt as would suddenly and cer­tainly dissolve the stone in the blad­der; and he concludes of him, that he makes no doubt but that he is now in hell, because he never reveal'd it to any one before he dyed; A hard Physician and an hard sentence; But this is pressed home by Philaretus, and it is to be wished that as there is the charitable Apothecary, so there were also the charitable Physician, for known diseases; for most of them, not only the Ague are Medicorum op­probria.

XXXI.

King James saith, that the Art of Physicians is very imperfect, for I doubt not, saith he, but for every di­sease there is in Nature a severall sim­ple, if they could finde it out. So that their Compounds do rather show their ignorance than their knowledge. It is too true, that not only their affecta­tions and contradictions in composi­tions leave men in a Wood, but their ascribing of a multitude of ver­tues to simples confound the true ones.

XXXII.

It is a great Question what does the cure, the Vulgar will tell you the last thing they took did the cure, as the last thing they did caused the di­sease; Some Physician will ascribe it to the rarity and dearnesse, others to the variety and composition, o­thers to the fitnesse and order, &c. o­thers think it is not the Physick or [Page 112] Physician, but Nature being disbur­thened returns to her functions by degrees, and men from weaknesse to a more cheerfull condition, from a long hunger to a more greedy appe­tite, &c. And some adde, that it is not Nature but the God of Nature which heals us, and as the Proverb is, God heals, and the Physician hath the thanks. It is Gods compassion on the poor man who contemneth no means but is without any. It is the reward of his patience▪ It is Gods seeing his tears, or hearing his or the Churches prayers for him, It is Gods respect to the sick mans devotion, and good use he makes of his sick­nesse whereby he recovers more health both in body and soul: This it is, though unobserved, that cures thousands, without means, or with what means soever they have about them.

XXXIII.

It is written and reported from an Authour of credit, That an ancient woman having an infirmity fallen in her eyes, which she could not be rid of by any remedy, spoke to a Scholar who used her house for some help; He in hope of some gain from her, told her he had an excellent charm for that disease. He takes therefore a peece of Paper, writes in it a company of strange characters (for omne ignotum pro magnifico) and in the end in great Letters, Daemon e­ruat oculos huic vetulae, & foramina stercoribus repleat. This Paper he seals wraps in silk, gives it to the old woman to hang about her neck, with a charge it should not be read or o­pened by any, for fear of blindenesse or a worse disease. The woman be­leeves him, and observes his com­mands; And a while after, the Di­sease falling away, whether by natural causes or by the devils help, to con­firm [Page 114] her in her vain beleef of charms, she is recovered to her former clear­nesse and strength of eye-sight, Fides sit penes Authorem, but my Authour addes withall, that without question the devil doth use such arts to abuse the simpler sort (for such Arts have no warrant from God, nor do they savour of man, being irrational, with­out art or industry.

XXXIV.

A Wizard fortetold William the Conquerour that he should fafely ar­rive in England with his whole Ar­my, without any losse; which co­ming to passe (as the one or the o­ther of two must be true) the King sent to confer with this Wizard. But when it was found and told him, that he was drowned in that Ship, which only of all the whole Fleet miscarri­ed, the Conquerour▪ said, He would never make account of that Science which profited more the ignorant than the Masters of the profession, for he [Page 115] could foresee my good fortune but not his own mishap.

Another Story we have of our Hen­ry the seventh who asked one of these Star-gazers (who had before prophe­sied of his death, as Culpepper did of the now King of France, who lives to pisse upon his grave) this Question, What shall betide me this Christmas? The cunning man answered, he could not tell; What then I pray thee shall become of thee? quoth the King, That likewise he said, he could not tell; Well then, said the King, I am more learned than thy self, for I know that thou shalt be committed to prison, and there keep thy Christmas for a jugling Companion.

XXXV.

Antonius Puccius, being in Em­bassage to Philip Duke of Millain, much given to Astrology, could not get audience a long time; At last, the Dukes Astrologer advising him of a fit time, the Embassadour was called upon to deliver his message, who re­fused [Page 116] to come, saying, If the Horo­scope did favour the Duke at that time, it did not favour him.

XXXVI.

In the time of the Councel at Con­stance, Peter de Monte Alcino a fa­mous Astrologer prophesied, that Si­gismund of Austria should that year be crowned Emperour by the Pope, and that John the 23, Pope should re­turn with honour into Italy; But John being deposed by the Fathers of that Councell, and Sigismund not co­ming into Italy that year, the Astro­loger was upbraided by one for tel­ling such grosse lyes, who answered, It was no wonder, that being to make judgement of two fools, he was mistaken. The Astrologer was wise, for fools it may be will not be rul'd by the stars; nor perhaps wise men neither; for they say, Sapiens dominabitur Astris.

XXXVII.

A skillfull Astrologer (that is, one that knows and beleeves more foole­ries than others) told Gardinal Pool, that he had very exactly calculated his Nativity, and found that great matters were portended of him (as that he should be Pope▪ &c.) the Car­dinall answered, Perhaps it may be as you say, but you must remember that I was born again by Baptism, and that day of Nativity wherein I was born a­gain, doth Eclipse the other before, If it were true that the Hour of our Na­tivity did discover the issues of our Nature, yet Custome and Education doth alter Nature, much more grace.

XXXVIII.

Henry the Second returning out of Ireland arriv'd at S. Davids in Wales, where it was told him, that accor­ding to Merlins prophecy, the Con­queror of Ireland returning that way [Page 118] should dye upon a stone (called Lech­laver neer the Churchyard: where­upon in a great presence he passed over it, and said, Now who will hereafter credit that liar Merlin?

XXXIX.

Two Women being fallen out and giving one another the lye, to do it (as they thought handsomely, the one said, Thou lyest like our Town-Clock, which will be telling lyes upon Sundayes; And, said the other, thou lyest like an Almanack-Maker, that lyes all the year, and every day in the year. Nay, Democritus is bold and addes, that an Astrologer lyes when he tells truth.

XL.

William The Conqueror invading this Land chanc'd at his arrival to be gravelled, and he fell, his feet stick­ing fast in the sand. One of his At­tendants caught him by the arme and [Page 19] helped him up, saying, Stand up my Liege-Lord, and be of good cheer, for now you have taken fast footing in England. And then espying that He brought up sand and earth in his hand, he added, Yea and you have taken livery and seisin of the Countrey. It is as good to interpret an omen in the better as in the worse part; and as Seneca (not a Stoick in this) speaks very comfortably; Cum incerta sint speranda ac timenda, tibi fave, & crede quod mavis.

XLI.

That Omen or Luck is a word which signifies nothing, there are two noted instances from Heathens, where Fortune reign'd. An Owle (Infaelix Bubo, dirum mortalibus O­men) pitched upon Pyrrhus his spear as he went out to warre, and a tile thrown down upon his head piece by an old woman killed him. And an Owle lighted on Hierons spear when he went out to battel, and he got the victory. A Snake (O fearful!) [Page 120] came out of a wooden pillar, when Tarquinius Superbus was destroyed by Brutus: And a Snake (O good!) slipt out of the Altar, as Sylla was sacrificing, and He (by the Augurs advice too) led forth his Army and overcame the Samnites, which victo­ry was the foundation of his great­ness. They say some Snakes have forked tongues, and this sure was one of them.

XLII.

My Lord Verulam in his col­lection of Apophthegmes relates this English story of Sr. Edward Dyer a grave and wise Gentleman, who yet did much believe in one Kelley an Alchymist, that he did indeed the work and made gold. Insomuch as he went himselfe into Germany, where Kelly then was, to informe himself fully thereof: After his re­turn, he dined with my Lord of Can­terbury, where at that time was at the Table D. Brown the Physician. They fell in talk of Kelley, Sr. Ed­ward [Page 121] Dyer turning to the Arch▪Bi­shop said; I doe assure your Grace, that what I shall tell you is truth, I am an eye-witness thereof, and if I had not seen it, I would not have believed it. I saw Master Kelly put off the base metal into the chrucible, and after it was set a little upon the fire, and a very small quantity of the Medicine put in, and stirred with a stick of wood, it came forth in great propor­tion, perfect Gold, to the Touch, to the Hammer, to the Test. The Bi­shop to this said, You had need take heed what you say, Sr. Edward Dyer, for here is an infidel at the Board. Sir, Edward said again pleasantly, I would have lookt for an Infidel soo­ner in any place than at your graces Table. What say you D. Browne? saith the Bishop, D. Browne answered af­ter a blunt manner, The Gentleman hath spoken enough for me. Why (saith the Arch-Bishop) what hath he said? Mary (saith D. Browne) he said, he would not have beleeved it except he had seen it; And no more will I.

XLIII.

Democritus is much taken with Pope Leo the tenth (hold your cen­sure till you know why it is) for re­warding an Alchymist. One of those Professors had dedicated a Book to the Pope of the Art of making gold. He looked for a great reward, and waited on the Pope daily. The Pope at last when he had sufficiently pro­longed and enlarged his expectation, brought him out a large purse, and gave him; that since himself had the Art to make gold, there was a place for him to put it in. Alchymists first brag, and then cheat, and at last go a begging.

XLIV.

There are elsewhere to be found two or three words concerning Ora­tors, which should here have had their place. The next to them are Poets, and as my Lord of Essex ask­ed Sir Henry Savill What he thought [Page 123] of Poets? that Learned Knight an­swered him, That he thought them the best Writers next to them that wrote Prose. And some of them are good men too, such as do not wor­ship Hethen Gods, and sacrifice their wits to Mars, Venus, or Bac­chus, or idolize themselves by Ro­mances and Whimzes.

XLV.

Miltiades, a famous Athenian Souldier, being asked, Whether it were more honour to be Achilles or Ho­mer? answered, That was such a question as to ask, Whether it were more Honour to be a Commander or a Trumpetter.

XLVI.

One Andreas Maro, who, like our Kendall for his extemporary ver­fifying was famous, and got in Rome the name of Archipoeta, was invited by Leo the tenth, who himself was poeticall, where the Pope telling [Page 124] him he had heard of his great facul­ty and facility in verse, He presently in a glorying manner said,

XLVII.

One Eobanus Hessus a great Wit, and a good Poet, was once with a Nobleman Gualter by Name, He be­ing to go abroad and ready to take Horse, said to the Poet, that he would give him a couple of Oxen, if he would make him a Verse before he got into the Saddle, whereupon E­obanus came out readily with this Verse,

And the Nobleman after his return was a Nobleman still, and as good as hi word.

XLVIII.

One Marius of Laudia, was show­ing Pope Clement the eighth a Copy of his verses, the Pope within three Verses findes a fault, and cries out, O Mark, here is a syllable too short; Mark answers him, It is no matter for that, your Holinesse by and by will finde another too long. This may be but in jest, but there is another in earnest, which makes a Rime against Rime, which holds against Verse too.

XLIX.

A Musician and a Poet met at a victualing house, where claiming kin­dred with a curse upon that Courtier that said they wanted brains, they must dine together, and bespoke a Calves head, which was a dainty. The man provides them their dinner, but noting their discourse, serv'd it in without the brains; Why what is here? said one of them, It is, said the Host, a Musician and a Poet; But he should have brought it in, for if they wanted, they had the more need of brains.

L.

In a meeting of severall Poets, one was reckoning up the severall sorts of them, the Comici, Tragici, Epici, Elegiaci, Lyrici, &c. Stephanus Fer­rarius [Page 127] said, I wonder you have left out the most ordinary and most common sort of Poets: Why said the other, who are they? Ferrarius answers, the Famelici. Studium quid inutile tendis? To which purpose, sure it is, that the Fable was made of the Gnats which in winter came a begging to the Bees, promising to teach their Children to sing, but the Bees answered, that their Children had learned a Trade already which would keep them from beg­ging or starving in Winter: Poesis vitae umbratilis & delicatae accessio, said Tully, Poets, like gnats cannot live but in Sunny dayes.

LI.

But they will say, Other Scholars go a begging; They need not, if they will take Dionysius his course, who being not suffered to govern men, got a command over children, or if at lowest they will take the ad­vice of the Propheticall Ballad made by a Vates indeed, if they will draw [Page 128] their Indenture, and be bound at ad­venture an Apprentice to a free School. But though Democritus doth not like begging, studying to deserve better, yet praestat pudere quàm pigere; and in cases of necessity Scholars may not be denied that which is free for all men, for to appeal and to beg, is e­very ones priviledge.

LII.

One Mauritius born of mean pa­rentage, and forced to get his living by Alms and Begging, followed his Book at School so diligently, that his School-fellows would in mockery call him Bishop of Paris, which name he being noted by, when he begged, some would offer him liberally, upon condition he would promise never to be Bishop of Paris; But he gal­lantly would refuse every proffer up­on those terms: Which thing was generally laugh'd at, but in time it prov'd a presage, for he was after advanc'd to be Bishop of Paris indeed

LIII.

A Scholar in his travels being rob'd (and he that robs a Scholar, they say, robs more then one) came to Cos­mus Medices begging something of him; Cosmus ask'd him how he became so ragged and out of fashion in his clothes; The Scholar told him he was rob'd by the way of his money and clothes; Yes, saith Cosmus, thou hast been rob'd, but perhaps by gaming rather; It is true, said the Scholar, by Fortunes great game, whereby she takes from me, and gives to such as you. Cos­mus finding him a Scholar, put him in handsome clothes, and furnished him with money for his journey. This and divers other instances which might be set down, confirms what one of▪ the Philosophers said, who being asked, What a wise man differed from a fool? answered, Send them both naked to those that kn [...]w them not, and you shall perceive.

LIV.

The Philosophers, as we have said, used to go a begging, and they have handsome Apologies for it. Dio­genes being asked in scorn; What the reason was that Philosophers haunted rich men and not rich men Philoso­phers? he answers, Because the one knew what they wanted, the other did not; and one saying to Aristippus, Why should men rather give to the poor then to Phi­losophers? He auswers, Because they think themselves may sooner come to be poor then to be Philosophers. The same Aristippus would say, that He took money of his Friends, not so much to use it himself, as to teach them how to bestow their money. The same Philosopher▪ once begging a good summe of money of Dionysius King of Sici­ly, The King said to him, Why dost thou Aristippus beg that which you Philosophers make show as if you did despise, and say that a wise man hath no need of? Aristippus replies, Give [Page 131] me the money first, and then I will give you an answer to your question; Diony­sius gives him the money, And now, saith Aristippus, do not you see that I have no need of what you talk of? and and so our doctrine and my practice a­grees well enough.

LV.

Aeschines perceiving every one give Socrates something for a present, said unto him, Because I have nothing else to give, I will give thee my self. Do so, said Socrates, and I will give thee back again to thy self better then when I received thee.

LVI.

Antigonus seeing Cleanthes a Lear­ned Philosopher helping a Baker to grinde corn at the Mill, said unto him, Molis tu Cleanthe? What Cleanthes dost thou grinde Corn? I, sayes he, I do so, or else I must starve for want of bread. And many there are who [Page 132] are forc'd to serve Tables, their own Table, who are fitter for better ser­vice. And perhaps Democritus is Mendicus hodiernus, and, though he could write something else, writes this first, to put meat in his mouth.

LVII.

For all this Democritus loves not to goe a begging; with him Verecun­dum est rogo dicere. Yet He loves and thinks a Scholars part Saepe roga­re. For old Democritus hath told him, that Veritas est in puteis & fodi­nis, and he knows then, that it is the curious and inquisitive man that must digge and draw it out of the deep. He is therefore [...], one of the See­kers, for He hath found by experience that Quaestio (quaesitio) res est quaestu­ [...]sa; qui quaerit & non quaesita invenit. He that asks of others that are able to informe him, & discit, & placet; He that asks▪ and seeks of himself finds very often more than he seeks for. Besides, Dulcior cibus ex venatu, and [Page 133] Omne scientificum, quantò profundiùs quaeritur, tantò gloriosiùs invenitur. He that does scire per causam knows more certainly and most usefully. And therefore in ordinary and high­way sentences, and common School­boy Theams, He lets them not passe without enquiry An sit? or Cur sit? To which purpose though Democri­tus knows the Scholar furnished with some problematical Books, as du Ples­sis, Camerarius and others, yet he thinks Tassonis Pensieri may be a stranger to many; and therefore ha­ving collected and compacted in brief some number out of his large Book, He will here bestow some few of them on the Scholar, choosing those which are the more pleasing and agreeable to the intent of this book, and leaving the more serious to his graver studies in the Library, if shops will not help him with the Authour.

LVIII.
Quary 1. ex L. 1. q. 10. & l. 3. q. 5. 8.
Why Fire melts Lead and hardens Egges; melts Ice and hardens salt; melts Wax and hardens Clay.

R. Fire melts Lead and other me­tals, because Metals in their princi­ples are but watry and moist substan­ces (I should think rather earthy and stony) congealed and condensed by the excesse of cold (N. B. not by concoction of heat, as vulgarly) which the fire vanquishing reduceth them to their originall (and so we see the waters that do saxifie and me­tallize plants or other things thrown into them are extreme cold.) And fire hardens Egges, because the thin waterish humour being quickly eva­porated, the viscous and more tena­cious humour remaining is easily dri­ed and hardened. Salt and Ice have [Page 135] both their principles from water, and Fire evaporates the more light and subtile part of Sea-water, and dries the more earthy which makes the salt; But Ice which is condensed by excessive cold retains the whole Hu­midity without any drinesse, where­fore the heat overcoming that cold reduceth it to his former state. The same reason holds, why the Sun har­dens Clay and melts Wax, for Clay is nothing but earth altered by an ad­ventitious moisture, which being con­sumed by the Sun, the Earth remains as it was naturally cold and dry; and Wax consisting of fatnesse and moi­sture united by cold, the heat of the fire or Sun dissolves the union, and so makes it liquid and diffusive, and so we see also in grease, tallow, or the like.

LIX.
L. 2. q. 10.
Why the Heavens and the Sea appear of an azure colour.

Colours (saith our Authour still) come from the predominancy of the four first qualities. As whitenesse comes from cold, and so congealed things turn white, as Tallow, Snow, Hayl, &c. and men in cold Coun­treys and women which are of a cold complexion have white skins, and flegme and spittle is therefore white, and old men grow white▪haired. Red­nesse comes from heat, as we see in bloud, choler, and metals put into the fire. Blacknesse comes from the adustion of heat, and this we see in coale, melancholy, and smoak, which is but air and moisture adust. Green comes from moisture, as we see in grasse, herbs, and leaves of trees, and so we may call the colour of the wa­ter [Page 137] being a moist body; and we have a colour called Sea-green; Azure hath some affinity and relation to green, as we finde those that dye green do first dip in blew, yet green hath more light and Azure more opacity; and so our eye looking to the skie sees the light by distance shadowed into blew: And therefore Painters to imitate Nature in representing their Landskips, paint their Moun­tains and places distant of a skie▪co­lour. Aristotle saith, that Azure is the colour of the Sea, and the skie hath it only by reflextion from the sea as in a glasse, but if so, then in great Continents the skie should appear of another colour.

LX.
L. 5. q. 13.
Why green delights the sight.

1. Because it consists in a more entire proportion betwixt black and [Page 138] white then other middle colours.

2. Because it is the colour our sight is accustomed to in grasse, leaves, &c. (and that in the most pleasant season, when the air is most welcome, neither too hot nor too cold; when the Spring and youth of all things please us, &c. and so it de­lights us not only by sense, but by memory reflecting on its concomi­tants, as some musick though none of the best, delights more by remem­brance of our youthfull dayes and company.)

3. Because the eye being an Organ full of moisture, is by sympathy, as the taste also, delighted with that co­lour which ariseth from moisture, and offended with the fire and Sun by reason of the drynesse.

This our Authour saith holds, ex­cept in a Gentle womans face, where green (if it may be called so) pleaseth not.

LXI. L. 5. q. 16.
Why smoak offends the eyes.

For the reason before, the moi­sture of the eye, and the drynesse of smoak, which is seen in preservation of Meats from putrefaction by smoke.

From the moisture of the Eyes it is, that those that have a good sight have not so good a smell, because the sight requires cold and moist, the smell hot and dry; and for this is Fishing good for the eyes, because of the moist ambient air by the Ri­vers side. The vapour of an Onyon will extract tears and not pepper; and therefore not only because of its A­crimony, but because of the adjoyn­ed tenaciousnesse and viscosity in the vapour of the Onyon. (But whereas our Authour saith, it offends the eyes and not other parts, he did not con­sider, that though the eye because of its porosity and tendernesse be much offended, yet the brain also, and the [Page 140] lungs are offended, and that to the hindrance of study or speaking, and if it continue, to the danger of health.)

LXII. L. 4. q. 3.
Whether a man receives more pleasure or displeasure from the sense of smelling?

Smell is given to unreasonable creatures in such perfection, as they can do many things by it, which men do by discourse. As particularly Dogs, which by smell only know their Masters, will finde them out in the night, and track them at the grea­test distance: Nay, they will not on­ly smell out Beasts and Birds that are hid, but they will pick a stone out of the bottome of the water, which hath been thrown after them, which seems a dull thing and not to yield any scent at all. But man serving himself by discourse hath this sense more remisse, not much at hand, and that little ra­ther for rellish then necessity, for a man may live without perfumes or [Page 141] flowers Indeed meats, when they have an aromaticall taste conforma­ble to their Nature, rellish the swee­ter; as Wines, Fruits, Rostmeat, and other viands: But on the other side, unsavoury and rotten meats are much more nauseous to the stomack and offensive to the brain. Besides, all mea [...]s breed such excrements as man cannot endure. And further, the heaps of dirt, dregs, dunghils, &c. are not only noysome but pestilen [...]iall. Nay, many whol­some things are lothsome, as lillies, Brimstone, Physical drugs, &c. Now this happens not to other creatures; Smels, 'tis true, they will discern at more distance, but bad smels offend them not at hand, except in what is their own food. Wherefore men that have a bad scent or have lost their smell, have the lesse cause to be grieved for it, because there are so many more bad smels then good ones. (Yea, and what my L. Verulam observes, Men have lost their life by bad smels, which no good smels have [Page 142] power to recover.) Yet to recom­pence this, Those that have a good smell have a good wit also, as Car­dan observes, Quoniam calida & sic­ca cerebri temperies olfactu praestat, ta­lis verò ad imaginandum prompta ob ca­liditatem, & imaginum tenax est ob siccitatem▪ Neither is that true, which the Ancients observe, that man hath the most imperfect smell; for though he smell not at such a distance▪ yet he discerns more species and differen­ces of smels; other creatures breath­ing the ayr of no odoriferous things but such only as serve them for food.

LXIII. L. 4. q. 9.
Why Marble sweats.

1. Scaliger saith, because those stones come out of waters, and there­fore steal the moist ayre which is con­naturall to them, which the heat of the Ayre concocting turns into drops.

2. But this comes to passe, because [Page 143] those moist vapours occasioned by the South-winde in close places, as Churches, Cloysters, &c. where Marble is, cannot pierce the Marble as other porose bodies, and so making stay upon the stone are by its cold­nesse condensed into drops. The same we see in wainscoat being more close and solid then other wood, and in smooth glasses if filled with cold water. Iron and Marble in open ayre have rather a dew then drops, be­cause of the plenty of attenuated and loose moisture, and the breathing of the Ayre which disperseth it, and the inclination of the water to seek com­munion and fellowship; whereas in dry places, as in dust, upon a Table, on dry Marble, water will rowle it self into little heaps, to unite and preserve it self against its enemy dry­nesse. And this is the reason of the roundnesse of drops, and not that common one, that water doth it to conform it self with the rotundity of the great masse of waters, which cannot be said to be round but as [Page 144] conjoyned with the masse of the earth, both which do but make one globe.

LXIV. L. 4. q. 15.
Why Oyle swims above water.

1. Aristotle saith, Because of its mixture with Ayre, and so Plutarch, Quòd de reliquis humidis maxime pel­lucidum est Oleum, quia in se plurimum habet Aeris. This we see in Ice, which because of its mixture with Ayre is more transparent.

2. Another reason is, because it is hot and full of spirits, as we see it will quickly take flame, which water will not; and therefore is it lighter, as we finde, the same vessell weighs more filled with water then with oyle.

Although Oyle being hot will soo­ner congeal then vinegar or water; yet that is not properly a freezing of Oyle, but only a more ready conden­sation of it: for Oyle being of it self a juyce of a condensed substance, as [Page 145] it will be easily dissolved by a tepe­dity of Ayre, because of its own in­ward cooperating heat; so a little help of cold makes it return to his first originall.

LXV. L. 4. q. 21.
Why men are sick at Sea, and not on Rivers.

1. Plutarch attributes this to the smell of the Sea-waters, and to the fear of those that use not the Sea; for those that are usually upon the Sea will not vomit.

2. It is probable upon experience, that it is from the Agitation and tos­sing of the Sea; and so it will fall out in the outlets of Rivers; because a circular and confused motion is most repugnant to mans naturall mo­tion which is erect and distinct; And therefore turning round also will turn a mans stomack; For the spirits be­ing stirred, make the meat boyl on the stomack, and so lift it up to dis­gorge it self.

LXVI. L. 5. q. 4.
In what tongue a Childe kept by himself would speak▪

Not in Hebrew, for deaf men speak not Hebrew; nor in any other language; But the tongue being for mutuall commerce and en­tercourse; if a dozen were bred up together wihtout hearing any o­thers, they would when they came to understanding make a Language of their own; and so in infinitum, so many more so many new Languages.

LXVII. L. 5. q. 7.
Why man on his Head is more hairy than other Creatures.

1. The excrementitious part of food is in others spent in Teeth and Horns, as Arostotle saith, and in man it is necessary as in other things, that Pilosity should follow the moisture of the brain.

[Page 147] 2. Hair is Natures Fringe and fence against Heat and Cold; and in man, because he goes upright, it is his cover, which in Beasts that are croo­ked is no more necessary then on the other parts.

LXVIII. L. 5. q. 16.
Whether is it worse to be blinde or deaf.

The blinde have a great infelicity, being unapt for action, and exposed to the injuries of the world; besides the very seeing is delightful; and the sight, as Cardan, is Sensus nobilissimus, quòd procul magis, & plura, & ex­quisitiùs, & celeriùs, & sub pluribus differentiis decernit. But to be born deaf is certainly worse, for besides that with it they lose their tongue al­so, they can know nothing of God and goodnesse but by natural instinct and so are in the confines betwixt men and beasts. And the blinde are but only debarred corporall actions, not intellectuall; So that we see di­vers [Page 148] blinde men Scholars, but none deaf:) yet the deaf and dumb man hath a late worthy Friend M. Bul­wer, who laboureth, hopeth, and almost promiseth to make him hear by the Eye, and thence to speak al­so; a rare and noble attempt, and a miracle of Art; to which purpose Democritus hath seen cited the Title of the Spanish Authour in M. Merick Casaubons Tract of Enthusiasme, and whether the work be in that learned mans custody he cannot say.)

LXIX. L. 5. q. 17.
Why Man doth not see in the night as well as some other creatures.

Because the eye of man is black, and so is darknesse: and therefore the Organ and object confounding the fancy, it cannot apprehend because it must gather by diversity: And therefore those that have white Eyes will be sooner snow­blinde, and can see better than o­thers [Page 149] in the night; and Cats and Owls eyes are yellowish and resemble the light, and therefore they see bet­ter in the dark. The reason why an Eagle can look upon the Sun (if she do so) must be because the Sun is an object too violent for us; but the spirits of the Eagle are more intense and united, having but only a Chry­stalline humour, but perhaps it is her brows cover her eyes, so that she doth but seem to look upon it.

LXX. L. 5. q. 25.
Why Man and a Capon have the Gowt.

Because the Gout being a biting viscous humour, residing in the nerves; the soft and rich and lazy are generally troubled with it; and there­fore a Capon not living abroad as o­ther birds (but especially if he be coop'd) and his complexion being like mans hot and moist, he will have the Gout; but so likewise will dogs [Page 150] that Ladyes keep, and horses that stand in stables, The reason why women have not the Gout so much as men is, because their humonrs are more fluid and more easie to be dis­charged.

LXXI. L. 5. q. 27.
What creature is most like man.

In respect of Figure the Ape (who though is not therefore, as our Au­thour, cal'd Simia quia similis, but à simo naso in quo nobis est dissimilis) But in respect of manners and com­munity the Bee. For the Bee is a so­ciable creature, observing her times, living under cover, burying her dead, not without her Queen, & being mul­tiplyed, sending out her colonies and swarms for a new Plantation, &c. (And who so is in love with the sweet and cheap fruits of this indu­strious creature, may consult, besides our worthy M. Butler, the works of that publique friend of men (and [Page 151] of Democritus also) M. Samuell Hartlib.

LXXII. L. 5. q. 28.
What Creature next to man, may be called the happiest.

The Crow exceeds all, if we con­sider this earthly happinesse to consist in long life and content. Her flesh is not desired for food, no Nets or Gins are set for her. She her self can feed upon any carion (and no carion will kill a Crow.) She never wants being omnivora; upon mountains, in the champain, on the sands she will finde pasture; She cares not for heat, or cold, she will live in the Sun, in frost, in the snow, and if rain be coming, she will call for it. There is not a Bird more hardy, or carelesse, or bold, or cunning then she. (Therefore those that are discontented, that they have not their portion in this life, and fall to wishing themselves some a sheep, &c. may do wisely in their next thoughts to wish themselves a crow.)

LXXIII. L, 5. q. 29.
Which is the most cruell creature.

Man; for Birds and Beasts of prey are but petry single Robbers, there are not among them Herds and Ar­mies of Murtherers. Other Crea­tures kill not except famished or pro­voked. Man will kill any other crea­ture (this is granted him) but more, He will kill those of his own kinde, not as Fishes out of necessity of food, or as other beasts in their own de­fence, but to satisfie his revenge, sus­picion, Ambition; as they say, Can­nibals feed upon mans flesh to please their palate; He will kill a woman which no other creature will do. He will kill his Domestiques, even Pa­rents and Children, which no Crea­tures in flocks and companies offer to do.

LXXIV. L. 5. q. 34.

Why a Dog will turn round before he lye down, is not to stay for you till you fetch him a cushion, but to unite his heat; as he will also lye along when he is hot, and Serpents do the like; and as we in bed gather our selves close in winter, and stretch our selves out in summer; Why a dog will run up and down a Field, or by the banks of a River, is, because being a Creature inclined to coursing, he chuseth such fit places; and when he perceives he is for hunting, he will empty him­self, and rub upon the ground, to quicken and make himself the more nimble and active: Why a Dog will rub Carrion with neck or head before he taste it is, because he would ligh­ten the offensive smell, that he might make it his meat. This our Fancy and Understanding doth in the con­templation of horrid and filthy ob­jects, wherein our lusts and long­ings [Page 154] do tempt, but our reason and Conscience check us.

LXXV. L. 5. q. 44.
Whether the life of Diogenes is to be commended or condemned.

Alexander would have been Dio­genes And these Cynicks seem to re­duce Nature to its primitive purity, without art or ornament, retired from the senses, contemning delights, and not distinguishing betwixt man and man.

But man being a reasonable, socia­ble, and cleanly creature, to be bene­ficial to Parents, Children, Countrey, Friends, &c. and serviceable for the publike good: It is not the part of a man but a Dog to bark at humanity and its offices, or rather the character of a Serpent the mortall enemy of mankinde. Not to labour for any o­thers by any burthen or employment, and yet proudly to scorn all others; to live sordidly in rags, to let his hair [Page 155] and nails grow; to lye in his own dung under no cover but a Tub, to make no difference of meat raw or rosted, to eat lice and drink with his mouth at a ditch, to stink to himself and others, is rather the property of an hog, then a dog, which is far more cleanly.

LXXVI. L. 6.
Why Children contrary to old men a­bound in memory, and fail in their understanding.

1. Because the matter of the brain in youth is more moist and tender, and so more apt and pliable to receive the impressions and phantasmes of the imaginative part, on the other side in Age it it is dry, which dry­nesse attenuates and subtilizeth the wit, but withall makes old men to fail in Memory.

2. Besides the memory of young men is as a white pure paper untoucht with Impressions, which makes it [Page 156] not so dull and confused with other Notions, as in old men.

3. Further, youth applyes its fancy to observe and to furnish it self with knowledge, and therefore imprints things with greater force.

This is not intended of meer Chil­dren, whose memories are too fluid to retain, but of Children begun to collect, reason and discourse.

LXXVII.
Why understanding men use to falter in Reading or Writing.

It is, because as the senses may be slow, so the Fancy is most quick in intelligent men, and therefore out of the curiosity and anxiety of co­ming to the summe and period of what they intend, they neglect cir­cumstantials in reading, writing, or speaking, and therefore they reade false, write and speak short, and by a multitude of Figures.

LXXVIII.
Why acute wits are not staid and stable.

1. Because of the vivacity and sub­tlety of their spirits, which is an ene­my to setlednesse and gravity.

2. Because of their curiosity in difficulties and novelties, which do not still occurre.

(These wits in Colleges they say have a Worm, perhaps from that phrase in Seneca,—cerebri aestuan­tis verminationes. And it is true, that Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae, There is no wit­without a worm, but when this worm is fed, and grows as big as an Ele or a Conger, then it makes an Hetero­clite, an extravagant Capriccio, and an affectator, who is an extraordina­ry man in ordinary matters.)

LXXIX.
Why men are the wisest creatures.

Not because they have the least heads, as Aristotle saith, which is false, 1. In it self, for proportiona­bly to the rest of the parts man hath the greatest head, and 2. in the rea­son, for the greatest brains have the greatest wits; and therefore dogs and horses, and Elephants, which have greater brains, are the more do­cile and intelligent. But it is

1. In respect of the whole tempe­rature of the body, which is far more exact in him then in other crea­tures.

2. In respect of the particular tem­per of his brain, which consists in cold and dry, whence is the goodnesse and subtlety of discursive spirits.

3. In respect of the Quantity of the Brain, which proportionably ex­ceeding all other creatures leaves more room for the soul wherein to [Page 159] exercise its operations (and there­fore he made but a fallacy who ar­gued, that great heads had the lesse wit, because Omne majus continet in se minus, for he spoke not ad i­dem.)

4. In respect of the Perieranium, which being but thin and little, doth not oppresse and blunt the more sub­tle and spirited parts with grosse and superfluous matter.

LXXX.
Why wisedome in youth is odious.

1. Because wisedom being the pre­togative of Age, and jests and toys all that is expected from youth; Pre­cocity as in Joseph, is counted a pre­sumption, to equall age, and outgoe their fellows in youth.

2. Because it is premature, pre­venting Natures course, and being not digested and setled by experience, is rather to be called wit then wise­dom. (It is indeed miraculous, and [Page 160] modesty makes it amiable, which gra­ceth Gifts, and covereth infirmities. But in some places Mushromes are accounted Dainties, and the Goslings carry the Geese to watering.)

LXXXI.
Why some men that can reason well are not for practise.

1. The reason in Politiques is, be­cause men can spy out with ease what will be found hard to be put in exe­cntion, the reason of such pretenders and promisers consists in Idea's, Chi­mera's, curiosities and impossibilities, not aimed at and unfit for action, and by the pomp of their words they would set out themselves by slieght­ing the most difficult and desperate enterprizes.

2. In Ethicks, vicious persons talk Stoically of vertue, as it is in his ex­cellency and exaltation; without re­flecting upon themselves or relation to practice; but only to please them­selves [Page 161] and others with the reputation and opinion of goodnesse.

LXXXII.
Why learned men are more timerous then the ignorant.

1. Because of the abundance of heat and bloud in the simpler sort, which makes them more bold, and is wanting in the temper of wise­men.

2. Because the Learned live a se­dentary life, far from dangers, where­in custome doth harden the other.

3. Because wise men are quick to foresee, and advised to consider the greatnesse of a danger; whereas they who know them not, esteem them not, and so are more daring.

4. Because they duely esteem the value of their life, not to be cast a­way upon trifles, but reserved for a sacrifice. And whereas some hold it an argument of a generous and va­liant minde to contemn a mans life; [Page 162] the wise man thinks, that he that cares not for his life deserves it not; For life being the best naturall thing, none will despise it but a solemn fool, and they must confesse it little worth which they care not to lose, and therefore Aristippus said well, being taxed for timerousness in a storm, that there was oddes betwixt his life and the Boatmans.

LXXXIII.
Why mean men coming to Dignities and Preferments use to be prouder and lesse courteous then Noblemen or Gentlemen.

It is true generally to a Proverb, that Honores mutant mores, and a­mong many other there is a remark­able Story of the Son of Fabius be­ing made Consul, who seeing his Fa­ther coming over the way sent him word, he must now honour him as Consul, and forget himself to be his Father. And this comes to passe [Page 163] from the basenesse of such mens mindes, who remembring that in their meaner fortunes they handling others respectively were nevertheless neglected, they are now afraid the same should fall out; and therefore to tame their acquaintance, they must let them know they must not build upon their ancient familiarity. And so they use them homely, give them a cold salute, make as if they did not know them, look sowr, talk lit­tle and gravely, call them Goodman when they should Sir, make them stay at their Portals, &c. And to their own servants and Inferiours, they look angerly, out-brave and rate them, that all men may know they are no small Fools. But noble per­sons knowing they are such, and de­serve respect, if not otherwise, yet for their Nobility, which is a desert of their Predecessors, deal more cour­teously; not so much to gain the good liking of others; but as know­ing they deserve not to be vilified in the memory of any thing past, so [Page 164] they fear not they shall be so used for the future.

LXXXIIII.
Why men in love are enclined to Poetry.

1. Because love doth mollifie rough and fierce spirits, as fire doth iron: and therefore it may well make your soft, jocund and sparkling youths to be chanting.

2. It seems to be a natural instinct, as we see in birds, when they are to breed fall a singing. And as the an­tient rude times to express Heroical and divine matters began in Poesy, so the lover to set out his his love, as he conceivs her, above the condition of Mortals▪ runs to this natural old form by verse and love-songs.

3. Because the lover adorning and imbellishing his beloved with rings, jewels and bracelets, would adorn his conceits likewise with number, har­mony, and mirth.

4. Amorous passions excite men [Page 165] more; and therefore dispose men al­so to daunce though they have no art.

5. Because both love and Poetry are kinds of fury; and come from or send up hot spirits to the brain: and therefore also men a little mad or drunk will rime without study.

LXXXV.
Why Fables delight us, although we know they have no truth in them.

Fables delight us, not as false, but as strange and like to truth, And so children love Fables more than men, because they apprehend them as true, and men love pictures and statues more then children, because they apprehend them as rare and artificial. For 1. out of curiosity our mind longs after rarities and novelties. And 2. the meer resemblance of truth doth abuse and force our fancy and under­standing; insomuch as we love imi­tations also better than realities, as of [Page 166] the gruntling of an Hog, and of grief and anger in players, which are un­grateful when they are natural.

LXXXVI.
Why honour being above riches, defa­mations are not so capital as da­mages.

1. Aristotle saith, it is because there is a more natural impetuousness and precipitancy in the tongue, and more difficulty to bridle it, than to keep the hands from stealing which comes of choice and deliberation: but if so, those defamations which are advised and resolved should have a capital punishment.

2. Because an injury in words is easie to be retorted, and if a man do not retort it, it is presumed he counts it no injury.

3. He that abuseth another in lan­guage, is provoked by some at least seeming occasion: but the thief hath no provocation but from himself.

[Page 167] 4. Although honour be more noble, yet a man may live without it; but without means a man cannot subsist in this world.

5. A mans honour may be recove­red by submissions, recantations, or fines; and for those real dishonours of incests, adulteries, &c. which are irrecoverable, they are capital. But stoln goods are so oft imbesled as there is no hope of restitution.

6. Thefts and robberies bring more dammage to the publick: and the errors of the tongue are so easily committed, that lawgivers would not punish them with rigour.

LXXXVII.
Whether in learning the Ancients ex­ceeded the modern.

1. All beginnings are far from perfection; and are advanced and improved by experience and industry. But this holds not here; for learn­ing and arts go not by a continued se­ries [Page 168] and succession, but sometimes increase and dilate themselves per sal­tum, sometimes fail in an instant. Sometimes they are increased by war­like and flourishing Nations. Crescit enim cum amplitudine rerum vis ing [...] ­nii. Great rewards are to be found in a great state, which brings in a confluence of great wits: and so both in Greece and Rome Arts and Arms flourished both together, sometimes learning falls into the hands of barba­rous and blockish Nations, which by wars and incursions extinguish it; as it happened to Italy in the decre­pit-age of the Romane Empire over­run by the Goths and Vandales.

2. It may be said in favour of the modern, that it is vitio malignitatis humanae, quod vetera in laude, prae­sentia in fastidio sint. Whether it be out of envy and emulation of compe­titors, which death for ancients hath overcome; or out of some natural instinct, we have to admire things Ancient (as we do in statues, coins, and reliques, buildings and nobility;) [Page 169] or whether it is our daintinesse to prize those things we have not seen before those that are ordinarily pre­sented unto us (and so likewise we admire strangers more then our own Countreymen) because we look up­on things present with the imperfe­ctions they have, or such as Envy puts upon them; but in things anci­ent and distant their merits are ag­gravated, but their failings are con­cealed.

This argument our Authour pro­secutes through a whole tenth book, by instance and comparison of anci­ent and modern learned men of all sorts, whereof he handles the seve­rals in so many several Chapters, and gives mostly the precedency to the modern.

LXXXVIII.

But Manum de Tabula. Here is an enough for an example and a taste, and to make the Scholar rise with an appetite to the Authour. And De­mocritus could produce much more [Page 170] out of that Authours Treasury, and some grains of his own he hath to adde to the heap, if that were now his businesse. He now only shows how a Scholar looks upon these or­dinary things with no ordinary eye; but withall searcheth either into the Truth of them; or the Cause, or the Use of them, yet before Democritus can get away from Scholars (as when he meets with them he is loth to de­part) he knows they will be posing him concerning the subject he hath undertaken; and seeing this Tract consists of Apophthegmes and Pro­verbs, they will be trying his skill in the choice of them by an enquiry, whence it is that these come to have such vertue and value above other speeches. Wherefore let them put it to the question.

LXXXIX.
Why Apophthegmes do more move and affect others, then set and continued speeches.

Democritus knowing them to be the most candid who are the most competent Judges (except in Criticks and Grammarians) desires the Scho­lar here to pause, and to frame to himself an answer to this before he reade further; and if he have forgot to do it in the former, yet hereafter to use to do it oftner in other Pro­blemes, Objections, or Doubts; He shall by this whet his own judgement the more, and censure others works the lesse, perhaps like them the bet­ter. Democritus saith not this to a­void an answer, but to make way for an equall acceptance; The Answer is ready. Only it must be remembred what was said in the Epistle, there are some speciall affections to some Apophthegmes more then other, as [Page 172] they are suitable to the Persons; and severall appetites according to the severall things amiable and discover­ed in the speech or speaker; and more or fewer approved according to the narrownesse or capacity of Readers or Hearers; whereas the Scholar or Traveller, who is a Citizen of the world and the Orbes of whose minde are concentr que to the Universe, ac­cepts the most of them that have any vertue in them. And those generall vertues which set forth an Apoph­thegme either in the matter or form and frame of them, are such as these.

1. The Plainnesse and Integrity, or (as it is called) Bluntnesse of speech; where men speak with their hearts, and not with their lips, and are rea­dy to deliver truth however taken; or oppose those plausible insinuations by courtesies, flattery or dissimulation, for this upright down-right dealing, hath love or reverence from most men, even from those that care not to practise it.

[Page 173] 2. Boldnesse and liberty, which hath the face of Integrity and plain-deal­ing, or sets a good face upon the spea­ker, the face of a victor and conque­rour in a contestation: as one that is not awed by respect of persons, or not daunted by scorn and reprehen­sions, as a dog at a rating.

3. A little more then boldnesse, Stoutnesse and Courage, Spirit and Metall manifested against more then verball, against reall terrours and me­naces.

4. Gentlenesse and Civility, in a courteous or fit proffer of a gift or counsell, in a modest casting back a commendation, in the respective bla­ming of a fault, or the fair evading of a pressing accusation, especially with recoyl upon the first speaker, when the ball is handsomely bandied, taken and returned to the others hazard and prejudice.

5. In most, the Wit or the Wise­dom, the acutenesse and clearnesse, or the weight and depth of the speech; when it argues the Speaker to see [Page 174] through a popular fallacy, when it is pointed to pierce the matter in hand, and like a wedge makes clear way in expressing knotty difficulties and ob­jections.

These are the things materiall, which are effectuall and acceptable in an Apophthegm. Then next for the manner of the delivery, that which makes them the more delight­ful are,

1. The trimming and facings of good Language.

2. The kindenesse of the mirth and pleasantnesse.

3. The Brevity and concisenesse, bringing things to an issue, deliver­ing much in a little, discovering a man by a word, as a Picture in a Tablet.

4. The Readinesse and quicknesse of the delivery, for to make such as these shews a wit at will, as we call it: a present wit, which slips not the first and fittest opportunities of speech.

5. The rarity and unexpectednesse [Page 175] of the speeches, when they prevent and exceed expectation, and like goads awaken and stir up attention, as sud­den and strange stops or changes in musick make it the sweeter.

XC.

Concerning Proverbs, they are ge­nerally magnified as the vulgar Rhe­thorick and Philosophy▪ neither doth the Scholar despise them because com­mon, for though the common people use them most, yet they proceeded at first from the mouths of men in e­steem for wisedom and learning. And because the Scholar as yet hath not had his share of these, here are some few sorted according to the o [...]er whereby their Vertues may be mani­fest. Of these some are Proverbiall ra­ther then Proverbs, and perhaps pro­perly only deserve the Name, all the rest being but the published sayings and sentences of witty men. Such of many are these.

[Page 176]

A Friend at a sneeze

(the most thou canst get of him is, God help thee.)

Friers Charity

(to convey you as far as the door.)

He eats leaves and voids silk

(all things thrive with him.)

He may pisse in bed, and say he sweat,

(his name is up.)

Do good to your selves,

(the Italian beggars word.)

To go where the King cannot send an Embassadour

(to stool.)

XCI.

These Proverbs or Sentences are valuable by the choice and use of them in the Scholars hands. And he considers them either in consort or single: In consort, and so either in their conjunction or opposition: In conjunction with others of their kinde, and in order, of which there is a specimen or two elsewhere; and this for a stock and furniture of wise­dome and goodnesse: for Solomons [Page 177] wisedom had not been so great, unless it had been like the sand of the Sea, small in its portions and parcels, and therefore so great in the whole masse and bulk.

XCII.

But the Scholar doth more, and placeth within the same view those sentences or sayings that seem to op­pose or cross one another, such as these,

Sed quid fiet de Cive bono, cum Ca­codaemones malum virum ad Inferos abripuerunt?

Sidiu illud habuisti, perdis antequam satiat uses▪ si non diu, perdis antequam assuescas.

And of such Sentences, which may seem to crosse, but do indeed set one another right, the Scholar findes ma­ny in his walks, some occasionally scattered, as in Seneca's Tragedies frequently, others purposely prose­cuted, as in Posidippus and Metre­dorus old Epigrams of mans life, and in some late ingenious Essayes of Marriage, Platonick love, &c. but he hath a great example of them in the Antitheta of that great Advancer of Learning. And Democritus quamvis non passibus aequis, hath gone the same [Page 180] way, and hath some store of these. And he thinks the Scholar, if he have not already, will finde it a way of good use and benefit; not for Gram­maticall improper exercises of De­clamations, nor for flashy and Rhe­toricall uses for ostentation, as the old Orators and some late Lawyers, to shew a Scepticall faculty of dis­coursing on both sides: nor much lesse for any wicked use (though things of the strongest vertues or spi­rits are capable of the greatest both use and abuse, and edge tools are not to be committed to Children or mad men) not to ingrosse what is favou­rable to our selves, and throw what is odious upon others; nor for a de­ceitfull politique veyle to dissimula­tion, which of all evils the Scholar abhors, being true to himself and to others▪ But for a more wholsome Philosophicall, yea Divine use, to esta­blish, settle, and determine truth and goodnesse; as Democritus hath seen some excellent Divines▪ out of this furniture mainly to have done. For [Page 181] as Bonum est ex integra causa, so Ve­rum est ex conspectis Circumstantiis: and as Non est Bonum, quod non est Rationabiliter bonum; So Nil tam certum, quam quod ex Dubio cer­tum.

XCIII.

In single Proverbs those challenge the first place which are akin to those former in stating and casing; and such commonly are sentences which are bimembres and dilemmaticall, such are these which follow,

Shew a good man his errour, he turns it to a vertue; but if to an ill, he dou­bles his fault.

He who builds a house in the street, it is either too high or too low.

Honour the good, that he may honour thee; and the bad, that he may not dis­honour thee.

XCIV.

Next those Proverbs deserve notice, which are most comprehensive, and are as it were virtuall Apophthegmes, which contain an expresse answer to an Objection suppressed and implied: and the words of emphasis which dis­cover the Objection are underlin'd by the Scholar, or noted in a different character, as here.

There were no ill language, if it were not ill taken.

He that hath no ill Fortune is trou­bled with good.

Set good against evill.

A mans discontent is his worst evil.

He that will sail without danger, must not sail on the Sea.

Do what thou ought'st, and come what come can.

Think of ease, but work on.

It is more pains to do nothing then something.

Of a little thing, a little displeaseth.

[Page 183] Great engines turn on little pins.

An hard man gives more then he that hath nothing.

An upbraided morsel never choak­ed a man.

A fine morning never lasts a day.

He that makes a thing too fine, breaks it.

Good is good, but better car­ries it.

Good cheap is dear (for it tempts a man to buy what he hath no need of)

Justice pleaseth few in their owne house.

Love your Neighbour, yet pull not down your hedge.

And of this sort are many in Mimis Publianis, and in Senecae excerptis, and in Petrarchs work in imitation of him.

XCIV.

And not only these, but all such Proverbs of Caution as exceed, and therefore also must often crosse vul­gar conceit and observation; those that tax common opinions, and the usuall unsound speeches as false asse­verations, promises, excuses, &c. Here the honest Goldsmith sets a mark up­on this false coyn which he meets with, that it may not passe for cur­rent to the cheating of others.

Were it not for the bone in the leg, all would turn Carpenters. (Si Nisi non [Page 185] esset, perfectum quidlibet esset.)

He that would have what he hath not, should do what he doth not.

If you would be at ease, all the world is not.

He that will do thee a good turn will either be gone or dye first.

Better one Accipe, then twice to say Dabo tibi.

The good Mother sayes not Will you, but gives.

Soon is late, and by and by is when he pleaseth that sayes so.

One of these dayes is none of these dayes.

He that sayes he cannot, means he will not.

He hath no leisure, who useth it not.

He that will consider of it takes time to deny you handsomely.

He that does as well as he can, ne­ver does well.

XCVI.

And as those Proverbs are of worth which check Pseudodoxy's, so have they their grace which are so deli­vered as to seem Paradoxes, such as these.

He that repairs not a part, builds all. (by letting it go to ruine.)

Poor men dye of surfets, and rich men of hunger (for poor men at Feasts over-eat themselves, and rich men in sicknesse are forbid necessa­ries.

Who gives to all, denies all.

Tye it well, and let it go. (Fast binde fast finde.)

Stay a while, that we may make an end the sooner.

XCVII.

A Proverb must have something in it more then an ordinary saying; Hyperboles and other Figures of Rhe­thorique are ordinary in it, some­times it affects a little of the Riddle, [Page 187] and some are so Aenigmaticall, which except in their own Countreys, will hardly be known without an Oedi­pus, as

He that can make a Fire well can end a quarrell (both hard to be done, so as to please all.)

A poor mans Cow dies, a rich mans Childe.

Diseases of the eye are to be cured by the Elbow, (not to be cured till you dresse it with your Elbow.)

A married man turns his staffe into a stake, (His state is not ambulato­ry and at liberty, but fixed and set­led.)

XCVIII.

Rhithmicall Proverbs, and such whose elegancy consists in Figuris Dictionis are uncapable of Translati­on, and are of the weakest sort; yet usuall both in learned and vulgar lan­guages; and some pleasure there is in the Musick of the words, which if frequent will be counted but jingling and quibling, But of all Figures, [Page 188] the Metaphor is the most ordinary, and that taken either from such things as are common and familiar to all men, or from those arts and em­ployments which are common and known where such Proverbs have thier birth and breeding: Yet be­cause a similitude with one leg is but lame, and capable of a misapplication; therefore they are the more expres­sive and lively Proverbs, which have both the resemblance and the thing resembled briefly joyned together, as

XCIX.

Thus hath Democritus shown you the Vertues he observes in Apoph­thegmes and Proverbs, and the rather to show to others how the Scholar looks into these common things: and knowing the Art could for a need be the Authou▪ of an Apophthegm or a Proverb▪ and in this as in all his other studies it is his great desire to leave every thing better than he finds it. He knows every man hath his humour, and Demacritus his; and as he hath approved these vertues, so he dislikes not many, whereof he cannot give account wherein their vertue lyes: But as the Scholar will be ready to tell him, so is he as ready to tell them his weaknesse: as at present Democritus is taken with the humour of a sort of plain and vulgar Proverbs, and knows not why: He knows they have vertue in them, they are irrefragable and undeniable, they [Page 190] stop reply, they are granted as soon as spoken: they please, they con­vince, they gain more then they speak for, and they are such as these.

He that riseth first is first dressed.

He that makes his bed ill, lies there.

Who hath bitter in his mouth, spits not all sweet.

Fair Language grates not the tongue.

In every countrey dogs bite.

More are threatned then hurt.

In an hundred Ells of contention there is not an inch of love.

A peece of a Churchyard fits eve­ry body.

If every one mend one, all shall be mended.

All flesh is not Venison.

All is not Butter the Cow lets fall.

There came nothing out of the Sack, but what was there.

A woman conceals what she knows not.

Foul water will quench fire. (Lust.)

C.

And seeing it is so, that sadnesse doth not prolong life more then mirth: the Scholar whose life is pre­cious hath his Recreations, and long may the Fruit-Tree stand which is long a growing but when it is grown bears the most fruir, and the most wholsome and pleasant fruit: the Scholar therefore after sadnesse and dullnesse contracted by the bent and assiduity in serious studies hath his Relaxations, Nec semper arcum tendit Apollo. He hath either his Musicall or Mathematicall Recreations, Hi­story or Poetry, his Walks in Summer, and his Noctes Atticae in Winter; And in the perusall of these Pro­verbs, and selecting and ordering of them to his readiest use, he sets aside in a corner the Jocosa, to sport him­self [Page 192] with in his vacations: such these are to Democritus.

Be not a Baker if your head be of Butter.

He that hath a head of Wax must not walk in the Sun.

When a Knave is in a Plum-Tree, he hath neither Friend nor kin.

When one is on hors-back, he knows all things.

He is mine Uncle that wisheth me well.

He is my Neighbour, that grindes at my Mill.

Here is a talk of the Turk, and of the Pope, but my next Neighbour does me more harm then either of them both.

A fair Hostesse makes a fowl Rec­koning.

Ask mine Host, if he have good wine.

Three can hold their peace if two be away.

He that tels his wife News is but newly married.

That as she did think herself too mean to be his Wife, so she did think her self too good to be his harlot. K. James would say, There is no difference between common lovers and common whores; they both flatter, and make the name of love their Bawd to serve their lusts. And Socrates us'd to say, that wandring Lovers are like wandring Beggars, ever in want and begging; but friends and Husbands were like setled House-keepers, who have house and ground of their own, which they study every day to make better.

XXIII.

Another married woman being sol­licited by one, who pretended such love, made him this answer, While I was a maid I was under my Fathers power, and now I am a Wife I am subject to my Husband, wherefore you may doe well first o go speak with him, and know what he would have me to do.

XXIV.

A certain Nobleman sent a Painter to the house of a beautifull woman, in her Husbands absence, to draw her picture. In the mean time the Hus­band comes in, and finding the Pain­ter at this work, sends him packing, with these words, It may be that this Noblem in, after he hath got the Copy, may have a minde to the Originall.

XXV.

Katharine Wife to Charles Brandon Duke of Suffolk, when her Husband at a Feast will'd every Lady to take to sit by her him that she lov'd best, pro­vided he were not her Husband, She took Stephen Gardiner Bishop of Win­chester, saying, Seeing she might not have him whom she lov'd best, she would take him whom she lov'd worst.

XXVI.

Henry the sixth having in Christ­mas a shew of young women with their bare breasts presented before him, he immediatly departed with these words, Fie, Fie, for shame, for­sooth you be too blame. If this King had seen such in the common streets, he had taken them for common crea­tures, that set out signes to call in pas­sengers.

XXVII.

King James us'd to say, 'I wonder not so much that women paint them­selves▪ as that when they are paint­ed men can love them. For the rea­son why they paint or patch is noto­rious to a Proverb, 'They who whi|'ten their house mean to let it. And she that useth these Arts either is a whore or would be one, or will be thought to be one.

Demosthenes sail'd to Corinth, upon the report of the famous and dear [Page 218] strumpet Lais (who was so high in her demands, as it is thought by some gave occasion to the Proverb▪ Adire Corinthum non cui libet licet.) She re­quired of him a thousand Crowns for a night; but he frighted with the price returned back, saying, I will not buy Repentance so dear.

XXIX.

There being discourse about Joseph and Potiphars wife before K. Henry the seventh, the King said to his Almoner, Now M▪ Mao you are a proper man and a Doctor, what would you have done if you had been in Josephs place? In troth (saith he) I cannot tell what I would have done, but I can tell you what I should have done, as Joseph did▪ fly, for Fugere est fugare, and not hearken to her to be with her, for Gari­sons when they come to parley are near a surrender.

XXX.

One married a woman, who within a few moneths was delivered of a childe, whereupon some saying That childe came a little too soon, No, said another, but the marriage was a little too late: There is a saying, Marry your daughters betimes, lest they marry themselves, and perhaps marre themselves in the marrying.

XXXI.

One in tbe Eastern parts of France married a Wife who within a moneth brought him forth a childe. The Husband hereupon makes hast to the next market town, and buyes as ma­ny Cradles as would fill a Cart. And being come home, and asked by his Neighbours what he would do with so many Cradles? O, saith he, I have need of them all, and if my Wife be as fruitful as she begins, these will not be enough.

XXXII.

There was in Siena a rich Citizen, who married a woman famous for beauty, Mary of Ravenna by name. Her husband being jealous of her, as she was one day holding her only childe in her Armes, he fastened his eyes upon the childe and her, and with a deep sigh said unto her, I Would give half my goods to be as sure as you are, whether this childe be mine own. The woman without change of colour answers him, that he should not need to be at so great charge to know, but if he would give her a thousand duckats only, she would assure him of it before witnesse, that there should be no doubt of it. He agrees▪ appoints a feast, cals his kin­red and friends, and in the presence of them all relates the businesse and bargain between him and his Wife. Then the Wife takes the childe in her armes, and smiling saith to him, Hus­band you will not deny this childe to be mine? No surely, said he, but what [Page 221] then? Well then, saith she, drawing near to him, Do you take the Childe, I give him to you, and now no body can deny him to be yours. The company laugh'd to see the womans conceit, and the fruitlesse searches of jealou­sie. This story Petrarch relates to a friend of his afflicted with this ma­lady, telling him, that if he trust not his Wife, he must have Mary of Ra­venna to shew him who are his own children.

XXXIII.

It is reported of one, that to give his Wife Physick for prevention, he beat her black and blew the first day of their marriage; And when her Parents and Friends came about him and ask'd, What she had done that he us'd her so, Nothing, said he, they wondring the more, and looking on one another, he goes on, and sayes, Seeing I have beaten her thus without cause, consider how I will handle her if she shall give me cause. This man sure came out of that Countrey, [Page 222] where women do not think their Husbands, love them, unlesse they do beat them.

XXXIV.

Democritus hath found a better way then this. There was a woman troublesome In her tongue, and her husbands kindenesse could work no good upon her. Once when she was chiding, he made as if he heard her not, nor took any notice of her, but took a Pipe he had of loud musick, and began to play to her a Lesson, which drowning her voice she fell a raging, first calling him all to nought, then dancing about him, and snatch­ing at the Pipe, and at last running out of doors, and crying for help, that there was no enduring of such a drunken fool as she had, but he held on piping till the storm was over. The next day she begins with her usuall language, and he to his pipe again. Whereupon the woman being over­come became quiet at last, and pro­mised she would prove a most obedi­ent [Page 223] Wife, if he would leave off that pipe. Some give it for tried, that whistling or laughing hath the like vertue, but Democritus thinks both may be necessary, but either or both to be better then the Cudgell, which some adde to the Pipe, as needfull sometimes.

XXXV.

Alphonsus King of Arragon would use to say, that to have a quiet house at home, the husband must be deaf, and the Wife must be blinde, the husband must not hearken to every rash word, and the wife must not take notice of every thing she dislikes, for discreet women (and so men too) have nei­ther eyes nor ears, neither to disturb the house, for he (or she) that trou­bles his own house, shall inherit the winde, shall get nothing but a bad Name by it.

XXXVI.

A Guest coming to lodge with a Citizen was much troubled with the clamours of a brawling woman, so that he was thinking of changing his lod­ging, and went to the man of the house to take his leave; the good man argues with him, What a man are you that cannot endure my Wives conditi­ons for two or three dayes, and I have born them patiently these twenty years and more? If a man have a Xantippe, he must be Socrates, who said, that his Wives chiding was like the jar­ring of a Coach-Wheel, troublesome at first hearing, but he was used to it, and took no notice of it.

XXXVII.

Sir Thomas Moore was an excellent man in his times, yet had married a waspe. He, as he was not ambitious, had neglected a great place which was offered him; at which his Wife being offended fell in hand with him, and with such womens words asked him, why he would not put forth himself, but sit like a childe making goslings in the ashes with a stick? If I were a man (sayes she) you should see what I would do, go forward with the best, as my Mother was u­sed to say, It is ever better to rule then to be ruled; and I warrant you I would not be so foolish to be ruled where I might rule. By my truth Wife, (sayes Sir Thomas) I dare say you say truth, for I never found you willing to be ruled yet. One day when she came from shrift, she said merrily to him, Be merry, Sir Thomas, for this day was I well confessed I thank God, and purpose now to leave off all my [Page 226] old shrewdnesse; Yea said Sir Tho­mas) and to begin afresh: M. Camb­den, whence this is transcribed, hath a note of this woman, which deserves notice, that as she was a good Huswife, so she was not void of the fault that of­ten follows that vertue; and Democri­tus hereupon thinks the counsell of Cato fitter for men then for children, who are little wiser by that book,

Democritus thinks, that for a woman to talk is naturall, for words are fe­minine, and deeds masculine, and he leaves it to anatomical enquiry, whe­ther as their bodies are more tender, so their tongues also be not more musculous, pliable, and moveable, see­ing they are the first Grammarians and Doctors of Languages to all man­kinde.

XXXVIII.

King James saith, it hath the like operation to make women learned, as to make Foxes tame, which teacheth them only to steal more cunningly▪ And that the possibility is not equall, for where it doth one good it doth twenty harm. There is a late Poet which speaks feel­ingly to this purpose,

XXXIX.

A merry Fellow said of a Widow of great wealth married to a Gentle­man of a great house, That that mar­riage was like a black Pudding, the one brought bloud, and the other brought sewet and Oat-meal. It was the Lord Burleighs advice to his Son, not to marry without a portion, because a man can buy nothing in the market without money. But Democritus is more of their minde, who like Bar­gains of any cattell but women, who thinks the fittest and the best bred to have the best Portions, and that a great Dowry is a bed full of brabbles. And we shall not care for these Pud­ding matches, if we think seriously of that other advice of the same Lord, that in a wife as in a stratagem of war, a man cannot erre twice, and to erre but once is to be undone for ever.

XL.

When upon a match there was talk of the Bride, on saying, she was so many years old, another assuring it, she was much elder; why, said one of the company, The more years, the better the portion, because it will come in the sooner, Omnis anus locuples di­ves erit tumulus.

XLI.

Cicexo was at dinner, where Fabia Dolabella speaking of her years, said, She was but thirty years old. One that sate by Cicero whispered to him, She talks of thirty, and she is far more out of question; Cicero answered him a­gain, I must beleeve her, for I have heard her say so any time these twenty years.

XLII.

There was a noble Matron among the Romans, that being importun'd to a second marriage, answered, My [Page 230] Servius (for that was her Husbands Name) although he be dead to others, yet he is still living to me.

XLIII.

There were two Knights suitors to a noble Virgin, the one very young, the other ancient. The young man in the maids presence thinking to give a touch to the elderly man▪ask'd him, What age he was of? the other answer­ed, I know not the just number of the years of my age, but this I know that an asse of twenty years old is far elder then a man at threescore.

XLIV.

Cicero being now grown old was chid the day before his wedding, by one of his friends, that being a man of threescore, he would marry a young girl; Stay but a while, sa d Cicero, for she will be a woman to morrow. The Lord Verulam saith, that wi [...]es are young mens Mistresses, middle mens Companions, and old mens Nurses, so that a man may have a quarrell to mar­ry [Page 231] when he will, but he addes to this speech of his an advice from one of the Ancients as wise counsell, who being asked what time was the fittest for men to marry, answered, Young men not too soon (other men not too late) and old men not at all.

XLV.

Common sayings most forreign, of wit and wisedome, concerning house and home.

1. God keep me from four houses, an Usurers, a Tavern, a Spittle, and a Prison.

2. Chuse not an house near an Inne (for noise,) or in a corner (for filth.)

3. A Mountain and a River are good Neighbours.

4. The way is a bad▪Neighbour.

5. The house is a fine house, where good folks are within, (otherwise Mock mouse-hall, or Mock Beggars-hall.)

6. Silks and Sattins put out the fire in the chimney.

[Page 232] 7. Noble House-keepers need no doors.

8. In a good house all is quickly ready

9. My house, my house, though thou art small, Thou art to me the Es­curiall.

10. The bird loves her nest.

11. I had rather eat dry bread at home then rost meat abroad.

12. I had rather ask of my Syre brown bread, then borrow of my Neighbour white.

13. A woman and a house sute ex­cellently.

14. A woman is the key of the house.

15. He that hath wife and children wants not businesse.

16. An house well furnished makes a woman wise.

17. A Ship and a woman are ever repairing.

18. The more women look in their glasse, the lesse they look to their house.

19. That is the best gown which goes up and down the house.

[Page 233] 20. When prayers are done, my Lady is ready. (for her dinner.)

21. The body is more dressed then the soul.

22. Fine dressing is a foul house swept before the door.

23. He who lets his wife go to eve­ry Feast, and his horse drink at every water, shall neither have good wife nor good horse.

Women and Cats to stay at home; Men and dogs to go abroad.

24. Women and hens are lost by gadding.

25. Gossips like frogs do drink and talk.

26. Three women make a Market. (some adde a goose.)

27. Women laugh when they can, and weep when they will.

28. Advise none to marry, or to go to war.

29. In chusing a Wife and buying a sword, we ought not to trust ano­ther.

30. Dally not with money or women.

[Page 234] They who marry where they do not love, will love where they do not marry.

31. Never was strumpet fair.

32. A fair Wife and a frontier Ca­stle breed quarrels.

33 A fair woman and a pink'd gar­ment is ever meeting with some ten­ter-hook.

34 A woman and a glasse are ever in danger.

35 He that hath a fair wife, she is not all his own.

36 He that chuseth for beauty, his Wife seems fair to him for half a year, and theu she seems fair to o­thers.

37 Fair is not fair but that which pleaseth.

38 He that marries for wealth sels his liberty.

39 As many kinsmen to a rich wife, so many Masters (and one more.)

40 Unlucky is the house where the hen crows.

41 In the Husband wisedom, in the wife gentlenesse.

[Page 235] 42 He that marries afar off, either would cheat, or will be cheated.

43 Marry a widow before she leave mourning.

44 He that brings into his house a stepmother and two children, brings three theeves.

45 He that marries late, mar­ries ill.

46 The Off-spring of those that are very young or very old is not lasting.

47 A man lives anew as oft as he hath children, and dyes as oft as he loseth them.

48 No love to a Fathers.

49 Love like waters run swiftest downwards.

50 One Father is enough to main­tain an hundred sons, but not a hun­dred sons one Father.

51 He that hath but one son, he comes often in his minde.

52 He that hath one Hogge makes him fat, and he that hath one Sonne makes him a Fool.

[Page 236] 53 The first service a childe doth to his Father is to make him foolish.

54 Children when they are little, make their Parents Fools, but when they are great, they do make them mad.

55 He that wipes the childes Nose, kisseth the Mothers cheek.

56 He that loves the Tree, loves the branch.

57 Three things are ill handled, Wine in the hand of a Dutchman, a Bird in the hand of a childe, and a childe in the hand of a Grand fa­ther.

58 He that cockers his childe, pro­vides for his enemy.

59 A pitiful Mother makes a scall'd head.

60 Better children weep then men.

61 A kick of the damme hurts not the colt.

62 Learn weeping, and thou shalt laugh gaining.

63 She that is born handsome is born married.

[Page 237] 64 A poor beauty findes more sui­tors then husbands.

65 Marry your Son when you will, your daughter when you can.

66 He that marries his daughter well, hath got a Son; He that marries her ill, hath lost a daughter.

67 Vertue and a trade are the best Portions.

68 God, Parents, and our Master can never be requited.

69 In a Trade a man rests on him­self, in a service upon another. And better is one foot then two Crut­ches.

70 He that is a servant must serve.

71 He commands enough that o­beys a wise man.

72 He that serves well need not ask his wages.

73 Serve a noble disposition, the time will come that he will requite thee.

74 A good service is a great inchant­ment.

75 Service without reward is pu­nishment.

[Page 138] 76 He can give little to his servant that licks his knife.

77 He that hath no more then needs must not keep a dog.

78 An Asse will endure his bur­then, but no more then his bur­then.

79 A sleepy Master makes his ser­vant a Lowt.

80 What can the Cat help it, if the maid be a fool? (set things in her way.)

81 Wo to the house, where there is no chiding.

82 A gentle Huswife marres the Houshold.

83 When God is Master of the house, he disorders the disorderly.

84 To let children or servants do what they will, is neither the way to make them good, nor any peece of goodnesse.

85 Choose none for thy Ser­vant that must be entreated to serve thee.

86 Choose none to serve thee that hath served thy betters.

[Page 239] 87 A Kinsman or a Friend will look for more, and do lesse then a Ser­vant.

88 At dinner my man appears.

89 Thy Master is thy steward and thy Caterer.

90 Every one is Master and Ser­vant.

91 He that hath one Servant hath two, he that hath two hath but half an one, and he that hath three hath none at all.

XLVI.

Democritus is now to walk from home with his Franciscan Hackney in his hand, and being abroad he is to take as he findes every one in his hu­mour: some bragging and boasting of themselves, others apish and affe­cting to imitate others; some qua­relling and some fighting; some de­tracting and accusing, others as much flattering and commending; Some ignorant and simple, others too curi­ous and medling; some begging and some challenging; some not telling [Page 240] truth, some speaking too much, and some talking all; some disfigured in their apparell and gestures, and others in their body and limbs, &c. And as he thus meets with men in their seve­rall habits, he is to suit his conversa­tion and behaviour, upon such con­ceits as these.

XLVII.

Demonax bragging that he was the first and only man in such an Inven­tion: Agathocles said to him, If you are the first, you cannot be the only man, and if you are the only man, you are not the first man.

XLVIII.

One Beltram Poggius to appear, as indeed he was, a Scholar, main­tained in argument a grand Paradox; and when he had done, he sayes to the company, Now what think you of me? am not I a Philosopher? One of them answered, I should have thought so, if your self had not said it.

XLIX.

In a Banquet, where a forrain Em­bassadour had invited the seven wise men of Greece, he desired them, that every of them would deliver some sentence, that he might report to his Master the wisedom of the Grecians, which they did, only one was silent, the Ambassadour said to him, Sir, Let it not displease you to adde some­what that I may report, He answered, Report to your Lord, that there are of the Grecians that can hold their peace.

L.

Plato entertaining some friends had a bed (or Table) neatly and well fur­nished. Diogenes coming in gets up­on the bed and tramples upon it, and said, I trample upon the pride of Plato▪ Plato answers mildely, yea, but with more pride.

LI.

Diogenes one rainy morning came into the Market-place as wet as a drown'd Rat, and there he stood to make shew how much he could suf­fer, the people flock'd about him pit­tying him; but Plato coming that way said to the people as he went by. If you pity him indeed leave him alone. Another time in a great frost he came again, clasping a brazen Sta­tue. One of the company asked him, Dost thou not feel it cold? No, said Di­ogenes, Why then, said the other, what great matter is it? stay there till thou dost, and then come away.

LII.

One in Florence, who loved an up­permost seat, would needs be Chair­man; and there coming before him three important cases then in agita­tion; To the first he said, He did not well understand it: To the second, He referred himself to that which others had said of the Point. And to the third, That he stood indifferent between this and the other party; A man fit to govern a Common-wealth, that can at once both shew and conceal his wisedom.

LIII.

One that followed the Court, but bred in the College of Wormes, met another as he came forth of the Court, and asked him, What talks there were of himself in the Court? the man answered, that he had heard nothing of him neither good nor bad. No, said the Courtier, and up with his cane, and gave him some blows, [Page 244] and withall put his hand in his poc­ket, and bestowed on him fifty duc­kats. And now, saith he, thou art go­ing to Court, thou hast something to say of me, both good and bad. O the wit of man!

LIV.

There was one that being to write to Cardinal Pool concerning the death of a Friend of his, did adde of his own head a great many reasons, as he thought them, to comfort him: the Cardinall having read the Letter gave it away saying, Truly this is a comfortable Letter, which no body can reade without laughing.

LV.

It is the manner of some men, after anothers speech, to nod and wag their heads, which being the custome of such as affect gravity, a Gentle­man would say of it, That it was, as men did shake a bottle, to see if there were any wit in their heads or no▪

LVI.

Demoeritus heard his Fellow-Tra­veller (who by his Language talk'd as if he had been a School-Master) say once of those servile Imitators of men of great worth, that it was as Apes doe imitate men, in their mops and mows and not in their manlinesse; in their singu­larities and not in their sufficien­cies; in their Heter [...]lites and not in their Propria quae maribus.

LVII.

A Cosen and Name-fake of Demo­critus, observing the imitation of the French in their toyish Modes and an­tick postures, burst forth into admi­ration and exclamation, in these rare Rhythmicall Verses, which (out of respect tho those who otherwise wor­thy may be infected with this vanity) shall not be prostituted by a transla­tion to a Vulgar eye, but are com­mended [Page 246] to those persons of curiosity in their native stamp.

Those who have no gust to be con­stant to the Levity of this one Nati­on in point of garbe, may have their appetite to fashions redintegrated by variety out of all Nations, from one of the works of an elegant and excel­lent late Authour M. Bulwers Man transformed, or the Artificial change­ling.

LVIII.

Demosthenes being railed at by a mean fellow in publique, though a sufficient Oratour, yet held his peace, only turning to the people, I have now a case in hand, saith he, wherein if I shall overcome, I shall be overcome, and if I shall be overcome of him, I shall overcome him, which paradoxicall speech is clear by this glosse: If I shall overcome, in words of reviling, I shall be overcome by my own passion and [Page 248] impatience; but if I shall be overcome and mastered in such language where­in he may be allowed to be too hard for me, I shall overcome him by my tacite neglect and contempt, and by defeating his main purpose to have it said that Demosthenes did contend with him. Vinco seu vincor, semper ego maculor.

LIX.

A bold Tradesman in Florence came before the great Duke Cosmus, com­plaining with many foul words, that the Family of the Medices made no account of the Commonalty. Cosmus had then in his hand a silver box, which he laid aside upon a desk where one of his Followers stood, who thinking that the Duke meant he should take it and give that sawcy fel­low a knock on the pate with it, took it up, and was offering to strike, but Cosmus came in, and stopt his hand, saying, Let him alone, it will be said there was one fool among us, but if you should strike him, it would be reported there were two.

LX.

One that lov'd to be fighting would say of himself, that he never had more gains then when he went to cuffs with Countrey fellows; For ever for one blow that he gave them he was sure to get two or three back again. Brabling Curres never want sore ears; and as they that pride themselves in swimming are oftner drown'd, so they that are conceited of their stoutnesse or fencing become commonly maim'd or lam'd, if not kill'd or hang'd for killing.

LXI.

Consalvo a great Captain upon re­port of an affront or quarrell would say, The honour of a Souldier ought to be made of a good strong webb, not so thin and fine that every disgrace should catch and rent it.

LXII.

One coming in to part a fray, got a great wound in his head, and the Surgeon being sent for went to search his skull whether his brains were hurt, That is to no purpose, said one that stood by, for if he had had any brains he had not medled in other mens quarrels.

LXIII.

Socrates being once abused and kicked in the Market-place took no notice of it, which some of the peo­ple seeing said to him, Do you see how that fellow abused you, Yes, said Socrates, but what then, If an asse kick me shall I kick again? The same Socrates, when another to try his pa­tience gave him a box of the ear, said, This is a hard case that a man cannot tell when to come abroad with their hel­mets on their head, (sure Socrates thought they should never do it but in war.)

LXIV.

Demonax the Philosopher having reprehended a wrastler in the Olym­pick games for his gawdy clothes, the wrastler threw a stone at him, and wounded his head, that the bloud gushed out apace. At which the peo­ple being angry wished him to com­plain, and they would go with him to the Proconsul, I think, said Demonax, you would do better to go with me to a Surgeon.

LXV.

One Trespades of Mantua when a sowr fellow, for I know not what in­jury, had threatned him a beating, when he could meet with him hand­somely, at last having met with him alone he paid him soundly. And Trespades being well satisfied, said, I am glad this businesse is over, now I can go quietly up and down, for his anger is past, and my Fear.

LXVI.

A bitter fellow of Siena having of­fended one with his ill tongue, got a grievous gash over his face for an an­swer (for he that sirikes with the tongue must ward with his head.) The Surgeon being sent for comforted him and said, He made no doubt but to cure his face perfectly without any scarre, O do not so, said the Fellow, for he that beat me threatned to give me a mark to know me by, and if he see me without one, he will beat me again.

LXVII.

Of troublesome and quarrelsome persons these sayings go abroad. Fools bite one another, but wise, men agree. The cholerick man never wants woe. He that seeks trouble, never misseth. He that blows in the dust, fills his eyes with it. They who remove stones bruise their Fingers: Disgraces, like Cherries, draw on one another. To [Page 253] live peaceably with all breeds good blood. A litile with qaiet is the only diet.

LXVIII.

A quarrell arising betwixt two Gentlemen at gaming, the one sent the other a challenge to meet him at six in the morning in an appointed place. The other turning to the Mes­senger, What's here? saith he, Tell him that sent thee, that it is not my cu­stome nor his, (I think?) to rise till ele­ven a clock, and consider with thy self whether we should break our rest to ha­zard our limbs.

LXIX.

One▪ who was a good Archer, be­ing grosly abused, asked his Friends advice, What he should do to repair the wrong? Why, saith his friend, chal­lenge him at a match of shooting.

LXX.

A Frenchman challenged one of Genoa for having his Coat of Arms: He of Genoa appears at the place, and asks the Frenchman, what was his bearing? the Frenchman said, it was an Oxes head; then said the other, we need not fight about the businesse, for mine is a Cows head.

LXXI.

There being discourse about the French Duelling (for other Nations are not so prodigall of their own or others mens lives) and particular­ly of their ceremonious sending and accepting challenges; O (said a Frenchman there present) with what love and honour do we Frenchmen cut one anothers throats.

LXXII.

Two famous Philosophers were fallen at variance, Aristippus and Aes­chines, Aristippus comes to Aeschi­nes, Shall we be Friends? yes, with all my heart, sayes Aeschines. Re­member, saith Aristippus, that though I am elder, yet I sought for peace: True, saith Aeschines, and for this, I will alwayes acknowledge you to be the more worthy man, for I began the strife and you the peace, they say, that by the laws of our land, Noblemen have this priviledge, that none of them can be bound to the peace, because it is pre­sumed, that peace is alwaies bound to them, and that a Noble dispositi­on will never engage it self in quarrels and contentions.

LXXIII.

Secretary Cecill in answer to some that unjustly maligned him, said, If I do any good deeds, it is no matter who knows them; if bad, knowing them my self, nay God knowing them, it is no matter from whom I hide them. Mens unjust applauses or accusations are all but vain, for our own actions must be our security, not others judge­ments.

LXXIV.

Sicinius, who with one breath would commend and condemn a man, and would never shooe a horse but he would strike in one nail to the quick, was asked by one, Why he never heard him speak against Cras­sus, where he had matter enough. O saith he, Crassus foenum habet in cor­nu, he will push again: Vexat censu­ra columbas, Crows do not sit upon dogs backs, but if a man make him­self a sheep, the Crows will crow o­ver him.

LXXV.

One that took to himself the au­thority of a publike Censor, being reprehended by another for his cen­suring and speaking ill of men said, It is true, I censure others, and they are quits with me, they censure me. Great censurers escape not censure, and he is a fool that thinks not that another thinks; they are censurable, if not for their pride, or envy, or malice, or idle curiosity, yet for their very cen­soriousness and ill language.

LXXVI.

Socrates when it was told him that one spoke ill of him, it may be, saith he, that he hath not learned to speak well. Pisistratus when one told him that such a noted censurer did com­mend him, I wonder at it, said he, unless some body haue told him that I am dead, for I never heard him speak well of any man living.

LXXVII.

Aristippus, when one was railing at him, was with-drawing himself; and when the other dog'd him, he fell a running. What doest thou fly? Said the fellow, yes, said Aristippus, Thou takest the liberty to speak what thou wilt, and why may not I use my liberty whether I will hear thee or no?

LXXVIII.

When some were wondering that Socrates was not mov'd at one who spake ill of him; you mistake, said Socrates, he doth not speak to me, for this that he speaks doth not concern me. And Philip Alexanders father would say of such men. I will study to make them lyars, and he would profess that he was much beholding to such for they shewed him his faults that he might mend them. So Plato when one was telling him of some that did [Page 259] not speak well of him, repli'd, But I will live so, that no body shall believe them. Living well is the best re­venge.

LXXIX.

The same Philip being advised by some friends to stop the clamours of a loose tongued fellow said, we must not do so, for if he be ingaged and pro­voked by any punishment of ours, he will have a quarrel to speak the more a­gainst us. Offer your staffe at a dog, and he will bark the more.

LXXX.

Pope Adrian the sixth was talking with the Duke of Sesa, that Pasquil (from whom our libels had that name) was very scandalous in his tongue and pen, and that he would have him thrown into the river (the punishment for scolds, &c.) but Sesa answered, do it not holy father, for then he will turn Frog, and whereas [Page 260] now he chaunts but by day, he will then chaunt both by day and night. Spreta exolescunt. Horses pass by barking curs, but if the dogs come to near their heels they kick out their teeth.

LXXXI.

A peevish fellow saying in the pre­sence of Sigismund the Emperour, that now the times were such, a man might not speak his mind freely, the Emperour answered him, that if it were so, he durst not now have said that which he did. It is well said, Quid Cato sine libertate? What is wisdome without liberty to show it? But it is as well replied. Quid libertas sine Catone? What is liberty without a Cato, without gravity, authority and wisdome to use it?

LXXXII.

A certain merry fellow having got a stain of Oyle upon his doublet, and being troubled with every ones ask­ing him what that was, assoon as any one came to speak to him he would begin first and say, assure your self this was a stain of Oyle, but hence for­ward it is what you please. It is good to be provided to prevent a scoffe if a man have a blemish about him: as Democritus knew one a merry man with a prominent nose, who when­soever he came into fresh company would say, bar noses, Gentlemen, and I am for you, but of these more hereafter.

LXXXIII.

One of the Antients being reprov'd. that he was offended with contume­lies, answered, that praises would not please him, if disgraces did not trouble him: and that he should not be sensible of the one if he were not of the other.

LXXXIIII.

Another of the Philosophers, when one was saying it were happy for a man to fly rather than seek a great name, which did more hurt than good. Why then, said the Philoso­pher, all sorts of notorious wicked per­sons were happy which did not care for their credits. Whatsoever is disho­nest is dishonourable, Nec prius lau­des contempsimus, quam laudanda fa­cere desivimus.

LXXXV.

There being discourse before the Marquesse of Worcester concerning a Gentleman of high desert, who was much censured by some of the com­pany for vain-glory; the Marquess (who was averse to the discovery of any mans imperfections, but had e­ver a cloak of some charitable con­struction ready▪to cover them) said unto them. Alas Gentleman will you [Page 263] have corn grow without chaffe, as soon shall you have it as a man of his parts to be free from Vain▪glory; Worthlesse chaffe keeps the Cornwarm, and vain-glory fires him to all these brave at­chievements. If you set a man on horseback let him have his spurs. It is true, there is slow sayling without some winde; and immensum gloria calcar habet. And what was counted but charity was good judgement in this worthy Marquesse: For it is not necessary that because honour is an impulsive, that it should therfore be the efficient cause of mens actions; for as the Lord Verulam (to whom perhaps the Marquesse did allude) doth instance, Put case there be two horses, and the one will go freely without a spur, and the other with a spur will far out-go him; the latter surely will win the race, and be counted for the better horse, Nei­ther will such a scorn move any man of judgement, Away with such an horse whose life and metal is in his spurs. For seeing a spur is the usuall instru­ment [Page 264] for an horseman, and no bur­then or hindrance, the horse is no lesse esteemed which goes better with a spurre; nor the other that can doe wonders without a Spurre is the bet­ter but the daintier horse: So glory and honour are spurs to vertue, and though vertue without them be the fainter, yet they are alwayes ready at hand, even uninvited; and are no disparagement or hindrance but that vertue may be desired for it self.

LXXXVI.

A great man hearing a large Pa­negirick of his praises said, although he hath played the Oratour and feigned and added much, yet it pleaseth me well enough that others should think what he saith to be true of me. Blanditiae, eti­am cum rejiciuntur, placent. When another excellent Oratour had made before King Alphonsus a large oration in commendation of his virtues, the King having heard him said, for what you have said true of me, I am to thank [Page 265] God for it, and what is wanting in me of what you have said, I am to pray to God for it. To teach by praysing hath been ever a formality due to great persons, and all Popes have good names, not that they are all such, but to put them in minde they should be such. But the modesty and devotion of this Prince is remark­able, and we know Herod when the people shouted Vox non hominem sonat There spoke an Angell, he was eaten up with Vermine, for not returning the honour to the due owner.

LXXXVII.

Tigellinus asked Apollonius how he liked Nero's playing upon the Harp, Apollonius answered him, I think bet­ter of Nero then thou dost, for thou thinkest him fit to play upon the Harp, and I think it fitter for him to let it a­lone. So Philip when he heard his Son sing very finely and drawl it a la mode, chid him, and said, Fie Son, are not you ashamed to sing so well?

LXXXVIII.

It is reported of Phocion (and likewise of some other Philosophers) that being once making a Speech to the people, and they with great noise praising and applauding him, he turned about to his Friends that stood by and said, Have I spoken any thing amisse? Laudari jucundum, sed à lau­dato viro.

LXXXIX.

M. Cambden relates, that when a Gentleman none of the wisest, told K. Henry the seventh, that he found Sir Richard Crofts (who was made Banneret at the battell of Stoke) to be a very wise man, the King answered, He doubted not that, but marvelled much, how a fool could know a wise man.

XC.

When one told Pindarus (to make him think himself obliged and be­holding) that he had every where spoken in his commendation; Pinda­rus answered, I have requited that courtesie already in making good your commendations, that what you said of me you could say it truly. Though praises are testimonies of love, and so courtesies, yet they are a debt to goodnesse and a debt easily paid, but it costs more to do then to commend things praise-worthy.

XCI.

A certain man, being told that such an one commended him, said, That must go for nothing, for he will commend any man. Some praise out of judge­ment, and some from affection, but others only out of a smooth and plau­sible disposition, and of such Cui malus est nemo▪ qui bonus esse potest? [Page 268] But the most wicked praises are those that are cunning and mischievous, as the Fox praised the Hare to the dogs for much better meat.

XCII.

Xenocrates being rescued from pri­son by Lycurgus with some hazard, af­ter a few dayes met with one of his Children▪ and said to him, Your Fa­ther is quickly rewarded for releeving me at his own perill for every one speaks well of him for it.

XCIII.

One Hippodromus a Sophister being compared and equalled to one Pole­mon then very famous, replied with a peece of Homer,

XCIV.

Antalcidas being to be admitted into their sacred mysteries, was ask'd by the Heathen Priest, what excellent thing he had done in all his life? he answered, If I have done any thing praise-worthy, the Gods themselves are not ignorant of it.

XCV.

One beginning a Panegyrick in the praise of Pescennius Niger the Empe­rour, the Emperour stop'd him, and said, Do you make us a Panegyrick in the praise of some brave man that is dead, whom we may imitate, for to praise us that live from whom you may hope for reward or fear punishment, is but to mock us, I love to please men while I live, and to be prais'd when I am dead.

XCVI.

Agesilaus being at the point of death forbad his friends to make any Image or statua in his honour, saying, If I have done any thing well, my acts will be my monuments, otherwise these Statues will not preserve my memory.

XCVII.

Cato the elder, when every Roman of note had a Statue erected, was asked by one, Why he had none? Cato answered, He had much rather men s [...]ld ask and wonder why he had no [...]tua then why he had a statua.

XCVIII.

Cosmus Medices would say, that we should ever keep out of the com­pany of naturall fools and common J [...]sters, sor fools car'd not what they did to any man, and these scoffers cared not what they said of any man; and [Page 271] both of them did violate the worth and weight of any person or busi­nesse. And one being ask'd, Since all men were fools, who were the veriest fools of all? answered, Those who med­dle with them that are known to be fools.

XCIX.

In the Market by S. Marks in Ve­nice there went about a mad man cry­ing, that he had wisedom to sell, at last one bargaining with him, and giving him his money first, the mad man gave him for it a good box on the ear, and a thread of four yards long, and bid him as far as that thred went to keep out of a mad mans reach, if he would be wise. From Drunkards, mad men, and fighters keep afar off, for he that buyes wise­dom of any of these shall pay for it.

C.

Peter Medices coming in an Em­bassage from Rome was entertained very honourably in a City by the way; where one of the Aldermen had all the talk, and spoke very sim­ply and impertinently; Another of his Brethren went to the Ambassa­dour aside, and said, Sir, I pray you not to take notice of this mans talk, although I doubt not but you have some such men amongst you: We have so, said the Ambassadour, but we do not make use of them in any publike busi­nesse.

CI.

A certain man carrying something covered under his cloak, was ask'd by an acquaintance that met him, What it was that he carried so close and co­vered? Why, said the other, you see that it is covered on purpose that you should not know what it is.

CII.

A rich Citizen of Rome so journing in Florence for a year, in the time when Melons came in, where other Citizensgot one a day, he bought him eight or ten for choice, and to plea­sure his friends, which one of the neighbouring Lodgings perceiving, ask'd him, What he did with so many Melons? To whom the other an­swered, He made gain enough by them, He eat the good ones, and with the refuse of them he fed Tor­toises which he kept: To what pur­pose, said the Florentine do you keep them? For a cure, said the other, of a great disease in this City; for they are a present remedy for the Ptisick, and Florence is generally troubled with Ptisicks and Coughs, which comes from nothing else but taking too much thought about other mens businesse.

CIII.

Antigonus going about to view his Army, step'd into the Tent of the Poet Antagoras, and found him boil­ing some Fish; What saith he to the Poet, dost thou think that Homer when he was to write of the deeds of Aga­memnon was busied in boyling of Fish? And do you think, said the Poet, when Agamemnon did those valiant deeds, that he was busied in searching Whether Fish was boyl'd in his Army?

CIV.

Of Beggars elsewhere, now only of some Arts of begging eluded. A certain Courtier came to King Al­phonsus, and told him, that he dream­ed last night that his Majesty had be­stowed on him a bag of gold; Away, said Alphonsus, Christians ought not to give credit to dreams: And the like is storied of one who coming to the Pope, said to him, that there was a [Page 275] Fame abroad, that his Holinesse had ordained him the government of such a City then vacant; The Pope re­plies, Do not you know that Fame is ‘Tam ficti pravique tenax quam nun­cia veri?’ ‘Fame is a lyar, and you shall finde it so.’

CV.

Thrasillus the Cynick beg'd of An­tigonus a Penny; That, said Antigo­is too small for a King to give. Then said Thrasillus, give me a talent, yea, and that, said the King, is too great for a Cynick to receive. A fit answer to such as are fit to have nothing, other­wise Aristotles was better, who be­ing reprehended for giving an Almes to a wicked fellow, answered, Non homini dedi, sed humanae sorti, he gave it not for the mans sake, but for hu­manity's sake, respecting his wants, not his wickednesse, for every misera­ble man is a commiserable man.

CVI.

Whilest one Tarquinius Abbatoni­us a Captain was laid down on a couch, there came in to him one of his Souldiers all in a sweat, and sad, and said to him, What are you doing brave Captain? are you asleep? why dost thou ask that? said Tarquin. Ah, said he, I would have entreated you to lend me ten Duckats to recover some money that I have lost at play; Go thy way then, said Tarquin, I am asleep.

CVII.

Publius Rutilius being requested by a Friend for his aid in a dishonest bu­sinesse denied him; The man pres­sing him said, What use have I of your friendship, if you will not do me a friend­ly office? Rutilius replies, yea, and what use have I of your friendship, if you employ it only to put me upon bad offices? Stultum petere est, quod possit jure negari.

CVIII.

Theodosius havind denied a Suitor, was urged by him, Why Sir, you pro­mised it, he answered, I said it, but I did not promise it, if it be unjust.

CIX.

An old Souldier came to claim of Si­gismund the Emperor a great sum of money on promise. The Emperor said his demands were too high, Yea but O Emperour, said the Souldier, though you might have once chosen whether you would have promised, yet having pro­mised, you may not go back. It is true, said the Emperour, and if I must suf­fer in either, I had rather suffer in the losse of my money then of my credit.

CX.

Concerning promissory Oaths, the story is recorded from one of credit, though the name of the place for some respects be conceal'd, that in a forreign City it was propos'd at their Councell-house, that they should serve in the wars under Maximilian the Emperour, and that they should engage themselves in the service by an Oath of confederacy. Unto which proposall one of the Corporation stood up and said, First, we have sworn and protested, that we would receive no pay from the Princes; Af­ter we swore and covenanted not at all to serve any Prince in the Wars. And a third time we called back our men from Millain, who were enga­ged there in service by Oath: And now we are to swear again. By my advice, to avoid perjury, let us take oath never hereafter to perform any thing that we swear.

[Page 279] Of this dallying with such Oaths, Democritus could tell you some re­markable stories, but for respect to persons yet living. He may set you down one taken out of some stories published of the Earl of Worcester. A Romane Catholique, being pres­sed to take the Oath of Supremacy, had a Gentleman, a Protestant, an acquaintance of his, so like unto him, that they could be hardly di­stinguished whilest they were toge­ther; Him therefore this Roman de­sired to take the Oath for him; and the counterfeit Gentleman being so like in countenance and apparell, he passed for current, without discove­ry. Which jest of a new trick of e­quivocation the Papist thought so good, as to brag of it before the Marquesse of Worcester, but the Mar­quesse being more noble and sincere, detested it, saying Would you put an­other upon that which you would not do your self? What if the devil (you two being so like one another) should mistake [Page 280] you for him, I assure you he would go near to mar the conceit.

CXI.

Alexander the Great being to de­stroy Lampsacum an eminent Port-Town in Bithynia, Anaximenes the Philosopher, who had formerly been his Master, and was a Native of the place, came to meet him, and entreat him in the behalf thereof; Which being told to Alexander, he swore that he would not grant what Anax­imenes should ask him; The Philo­sopher understanding this, said, That which I desire is, that you would destroy Lampsacum? And Alexander being thus taken by his word, for the reve­rence of his Oath, did not destroy the place.

Another merry way of disobliging in a rash Oath, is reported in a story of James the fourth King of Scotland, who being much offended with the Earl of Crawford, He vowed to pull down his house from the top to the bot­tome▪ [Page 281] But the Earl by his timely sub­mission took off the edge of the Kings anger against him; Insomuch that the King (that he might in some sort be as big as his word) went up to the top of his house, and without doing any more harm, threw down a little stone which was closed to the Fa­br [...]ck, which is to this day kept as a Monument of the Kings favour to that Family. Howsoever, an Oath that is not to be taken, is not to be kept. In votis temerariis non perficienda pro­missio, sed poenitenda praesumptio.

CXII.

Democritus will not allow his Tra­veller to lye by the authority of a common Proverb, which connives at the lye, because it is cheaper to be­leeve it then to disprove it, their lyes are commonly so thin that a Philoso­pher will see through them and laugh at them, if they do not betray them­selves, as that Traveller did, who bragging of the many Countreys he [Page 282] had passed through, and telling the great wonders he had seen in them, One of his hearers said, Sir, I per­ceive you have been much conversant in Cosmography; the Traveller replies, I was not conversant in that place, but as we were sayling, I saw the City at a distance on the right hand of our Ship.

CXIII.

A certain fellow talking much of things incredible, and which he had never seen, one Jacobus Caviceus a famous Judge in Ferrara takes him up, and poseth him with this Riddle, I pray Sir, you that have seen so much tell me, What is that which doth not see, and if it should see, would be no more what it was? The man sticking and puzled, Caviceus tels him, It is a blinde man, such as thou art, who sees not, and if he did see, he were no more blinde; So thou if thou didst see thy self, thine own blindenesse and ignorance, thou wouldst be another manner of man then thou art. The Proverb sayes, The [Page 283] blinde man sees not the default of his eyes.

CXIV.

When one was vaunting, that in Sicily he had bought a Lamprey of five foot long, Galba said, that is no won­der, for there they are so long that their skins serve for cords wherewith the Fi­shermen use to gird themselves. It is right to mock the grossenesse of a lye by a grosser, as he that fitted the great Cabbage with the great Caldron.

CXV.

The Story is famous and known of the Post that came from Ausburg, who being asked the first Question to such men▪ What News at Ausburg? the Post answered, there was little News stirring, Only one man was burnt there for a forgery: What forgery? said the other, This, said the Post, There hath fallen a great deal of snow lately, and this man gathered it together in Snowbals, and hardened it behinde a [Page 284] Fornace, and after the Rogue to cheat the Countrey sold it for salt, but he was burnt for it; Which this simple fellow beleeving, and telling a­broad for truth, was a good sport to his Neighbours, Posts carry truth in their letters, and lies in their mouths.

CXVI:

A Countrey-fellow being Suitor to a maid to marry her, and the busi­nesse being talk'd of among the maids Friends, all of them were against the match, because the man was a noted lyar; Only one of them ask'd the rest, whether he was a drunkard, or a gamester, or given to any other vice? No, said they, he is an honest painfull young man, only he is so much given to lying that he is fa­mous for it; If that be all, said the o­ther, Let him marry her, for if he be known to be a lyar he will deceive no body nor do any harm. He that trusts not, is not deceived, and lyars gain that priviledge, that they are not be­leeved [Page 285] when they speak truth, inso­much as they say, you may tell a se­cret to a lyar, or make him your Con­fessor, for if he reveal any thing, no body will beleeve him.

CXVII.

A great Person (who deserves bet­ter then to be named upon such light occasions) had in a frolick set on some wanton wits to lye for the Whetstone: Where every one strain­ing to exceed the former in mon­strous and incredible tales and ficti­ons, there was one only was silent; who being urged to tell his lye by turn, he answered for himself, that He never told lie in all his life. Where­upon by the judgement of them all, the whetstone was his due. And hence Democritus wonders at that wilde saying, that a lye deserves the stab, and that simple phrase of gi­ving the Lye so much stomack'd at. For the giving of the lye (if that be properly given which is earned and [Page 186] deserved) is no such great matter, where all men are granted to be lyars (as they are indeed impotentiâ or im­posturâ.) And when it is said the lye deserves a stab, it is meant this giving the lye (as they call it) that is, the reproving and manifesting anothers lye, which is hereby judged more hainous then the making of it; and so men would give themselves a pas­port to belye others to their wrong (which is the bainous thing in any lye) by censuring it an unpardonable injury to tell them of it. But Demo­critus though he say this giving the lye (if justly and truly) is a lesse fault, being rash and upon provocation, then the purposed making of a lye (or the miscalling, wresting, and mis­interpreting good or indifferent words or actions) yet he doth not say it is no fault at all; for though it may certainly be without fault, Joh. 8. 55. yet he fears it is seldome so with us; and it may be altered with other e­quivalent and lesse offensive expres­sions; as the Latines use a Charien­tismus [Page 287] in the words mentiris, and com­minisceris, which is in mente fingis quod non est, and may be englished, you speak your minde.

CXVIII.

The old Grecian Orators were creatures of oftentation, and so vain and tedious in their Sermons or Speeches, that they had many seri­ous touches of reprehension for it from the Philosophers and others, that they were not [...] but [...], that they loved to hear them­selves talk; that if it were as trou­blesome to them to speak as it was to others to hear them, they would not take such pains to be tedious; that as frogs croaked in the waters, so they to the waters (to their water-hour-glasse;) that like Swallows they lost the pleasure of their song by pra­ting too much, that like a Nightin­gale they were Vox & praeterea nihil; that they were worth nothing when they were out of their pews; that [Page 288] they had all their furniture of their house in the Portall; that they had a floud of words to a drop of matter and sense; that speech was a Trea­sure not to be set out for show, but to be laid out for use, and for direction in mens actions and bu­sinesse of life; that our speech ought to be equall to the matter in hand; that to set forth small matters with a great flourish of words was to fit a little foot with a great shooe; that the measure and length of speaking was not to be taken from the speaker, to be as much as he could say, but from the hearers to be such as they were fit and capable, and at lei­sure to hear, &c.

CXIX.

When some Samian Orators were sent in Embassage to Cleomenes, and had made him a long speech, He an­swered thus in short, What you said in the first place I do not well remem­ber, and therefore what you said in the midle of your Oration, I do not well understand, and for what you said in the conclusion I do not well approve. Another of their Orators being Em­bassadour from one of their Cities to King Agis, after a tedious Oration, the King being a while silent, deman­ded of him what answer he would return to his Citizens, You may tell them, said the King, that what time you spent in speaking, I spent as much in hearing of you. (silently and pati­ently,) And it may be both mispent their time.

CXX.

There were three Embassadors sent from Perusia to Pope Ʋrban the fifth lying then sick at Avinion. Up­on their admission they were requi­red to deliver their embassage in few words. Notwithstanding one of them who came provided with a set speech begins a large Oration (perhaps be­cause he would not lose his pains, or could not alter it on the suddain) and though he knew the Pope weary, could not make an end till he had made his conclusion. After he had done, the Pope asked, if they had a­ny more in commission, Unto which another of them; who well observed the Pope to be already cloy'd and ti­red, said to him, Holy Father, we have one thing more, that if you give us not a fair answer speedily, this my Col­legue is to repeat and make good the former with a much longer speech. The Pope hearing this, gave them their answer presently, and dismissed them.

CXXI.

A prating fellow coming to Ari­stotle, and talking idlely, said at last to him, perhaps I trouble you with these trifles, No truly, said Aristotle, for I took no notice what you said, my minde was of another matter.

CXXII.

A great tatler came to one Hierom Carbo, with a volley of words, and after he had done, Carbo being silent, he urg'd him with great earnest to an answer from point to point, Carbo was silent still, at laft turning to those that stood by, he said, This year hath brought forth a great many Frogs.

CXXIII.

Heraclitus, when one in a company asked him, why he alone was silent, answered, to give you leave to speak, and Democritus having patiently heard a talkative fellow a long while, said, Thou hast been well taught, I perceive, to speak, but thou art yet to learn to hold thy peace. Democritus the Father of our Family said well, that he was well taught to speak, for it is very likely ▪that a woman was his Master to teach him.

CXXIV.

To a sullen fellow who us'd to be silent at meetings, Theophrastus said once, If thou art a Fool thou dost wisely, and if thou art a wise man thou dost foolishly to hold thy peace.

CXXV.

One Citianus a Jester to a Noble Marquesse, to please his Lord, had made himself a fool; One of his ac­quaintance once said to him, ‘Why do you feign your self to be a fool when we know you have wit e­nough? The other answered, 'What hard fortune have I, the more I strive to shew my self a fool, the more wise I am still accounted; and on the other side I have a boy that sets his wits to seem wise, and yet e­very one takes him for a very fool.’

CXXVI.

When Cardinal Pool was at Rome, there was discourse of a young No­bleman there, who was commended by some for his learning and ingenu­ity, but taxed more by others because he was bold and censorious, and would be too ready extempore to answer Quodlibets; Unto whom the Car­dinal [Page 294] replies, ‘Do not you consider that Learning in youth is like New wine in the must, while it is work­ing, it boils and swels, yeelds barm and froth, and must have his vent; but when it is purged and setled, it becomes excellent and wholsome wine.’

CXXVII.

Marcellus Virgilius saith merrily, that Old men carry their Ears in their bosome (therefore in his time they had auricular helps) their feet in their hands, and their teeth in their girdle; He had questionlesse added, and their eyes in a box, if spectacles were not a later invention, of which they that are not assured, may consult Panci­rolus.

CXXVIII.

Another used to say, that old men were endowed by Nature with three speciall prerogatives, that they can see more, that they can do more, that they command more. These you will take to be rather three Paradoxes, till you look within the mystery. First, They see more, for because of the weaknesse of their sight they see all things double. Then they can do more, for being to get up on horseback, and having their foot in the stirrop, they can draw the saddle quite round unto themselves. And lastly, They com­mand more, for of ten things which they ask for ten times over, they will scarce be serv'd in one.

CXXIX.

One Roderigo Carrasio a Citizen of Valentia, being fourscore years old, was learning to play upon the Flute. There passed by his house an acquain­tance of his, who asked of his Ser­vants who that was in his house learn­ing to play; They told him it was their master; O, saith he, perhaps Roderigo hath heard News, that he is to be provided for balls and Revels in the other world,

CXXX.

M. Herbert out of Gerson brings in a Frenchman asking another man in Latine, Quot annos habes? how ma­ny years old are you? the man an­swered, I am of no years at all, but Death hath forborn me this fifty. And he writes there, that an holy man in the primitive-times being asked how long he had lived, made this answer, A few years to God, but between fourty [Page 297] and fifty among gnats and flies. Of the differences of young men and old men in body and minde, See briefly, but fully the L. Verulam in the close of his History of Life and Death.

CXXXI.

There coming an Embassadour from Millain to Florence, Laurentius of the house of Medices caused to be brought in a childe of five or six years old of a strange wit far above his age. And every one wondring at his an­swers, and to hear what he could do, Laurentius ask'd the Embassadour what he thought of the childe, Cer­tainly, said the Embassadour, as he grows in years he will grow the more sottish, for commonly such little ones that are so witty, when they are grown men prove block-heads. The childe hearing him, presently turns to the Embassadour and said, Sir▪ when you were a little one, you should have had a very great wit.

A like reply we have heard of one, to whom it being objected in scorn, that his Beard came before his wit, his an­swer was, Yours is a mannerly beard, and stayes for your wit.

CXXXII.

One being asked how he came to be so gray on his head, and there was not one gray hair in his beard, answered, that is no wonder, for my Beard is twenty years younger then the hairs of my head.

CXXXIII.

One being observed by Cardinall Pool to be very curious to a hair in his beard, and it being told him by one of his house, that it might well be neat, for he bestowed every moneth two Duckats in trimming, If it be so, said the Cardinall, his beard will shortly be more worth then his head.

CXXXIV.

One Alexander a Sophister being sent in Embassage from Seleucia to Marcus Antonius, when in his speech he saw him not sufficiently attentive to him, he spoke out aloud, Hearken to me Caesar, do you not take notice of A­lexander? Antonius being moved with this as a reprehension, answered, I do hear thee and know thee very well, thou art that Alexander that powderest thy hair, and stinkest of perfumes.

CXXXV.

Philip of Macedon put one of his Officers out of his place for colour­ing his Beard, and said, He that is not true to his own hairs, how shall I trust him in my businesse.

CXXXVI.

King James saith, In clothes I would have a Fashion should chuse a man, and not a man the Fashion. But common­ly a Fashion comes from some great one out of fashion.

CXXXVII.

Augustus the Emperour would ve­ry sharply finde fault with his daugh­ters gawdy and gay clothes, and say, That bravery and finenesse in apparell was but a banner of pride and a Nest of lust. Pars minima est ipsa puella sui, and many times the feathers are more worth then the bird.

CXXXVIII.

Cicero's daughter used to go in a manly great and stalking gate, on the other side his son in Law, in a dan­cing, wincing, and ambling pace. Cicero once meeting his daughter trot­ting along, said to her, Daughter, go softly as your Husband goes, and so jeered them both at once.

CXXXIX.

Cicero's Son in Law Lentulus was but little in stature, and wore a very long sword, Cicero seeing him said, Who hath tyed my Nephew to his sword? Cicero's Brother had his Picture drawn to the breast in great dimensions, though he himself was but a little man. Cicero spying it, as he passed by it by chance, said, My half Bro­ther is greater then the whole one.

CXL.

One that thought himself a pro­per man by being tall, jesting upon another whom he did overlook, said to him, that he must be the Pawn in the Tables, yes, said the other little low man, and to make the Jest com­pleat, you must be the Rook.

CXLI.

One that looked asquint, being told by one in scorn, that he did not see right; Indeed, saith he, I am a­fraid I shall never see thee right. Ano­ther having a blemish in one of his eyes being asked by another, With which of his eyes he could see farthest? answered, Even with whether it please you for sooth.

CXLII.

Cardinall Woolsey sent one to Fox B. of Winchester (who had advanced the Cardinal into the Kings favour) for to move him to resigne to him his Bishoprick, because of his age and blindenesse. The Bishop, not wil­ling to put off his clothes till he went to bed, sent him this Answer, ‘Though Age hath made me blinde not to know white from black, yet I can discern right from wrong; and I can espy what before I could not perceive, his Unthankfulnesse; and let my L. Cardinall take heed that his ambition and covetousnesse do not blinde him worse, and make him not to look to his footing, that he stands in lubrico, and may fall before he fear.’

CXLIII.

A Learned man, who from his birth wanted an hand, was em­ployed by the Pope in an Embas­sage. Upon his return delivering the Pope his dispatches, a Cardinal then present at every pause interrup­ted him, and asked him, Where he had left his other hand? The man, without notice taken, goes on in the discourse of the particulars of his businesse with the Pope; in the in the end he sayes, Holy Father, there is no man living but hath some defect; Some men want Fcet, and some men want hands, &c. and some men want brain [...].

CXLIV.

One telling his Friend, that he was very sorry that his Wife had so publikely disgraced him, and given him a bad Name abroad, the man an­swered, I am sorry too, but it is her own sin and her own shame, and for the vulgar Nick-name you talk of, I value it not nor them that use it, for (as he added merrily) Num tota viri fama inter foeminae pofita est femora?

CXLV.

It is storied of an Emperour of Germany, who, coming by chance on a Sunday into Church, found there a mishapen Priest, pené portentum Na­ [...]urae, (as worldly Parents, if they have a crooked piece, think him fit Timber for the Pulpit) insomuch as the Emperour scorn'd and contemn'd him. But when he heard him reade [...]hese words in the beginning of the [Page 306] Service, For it is he that made us, and not we our selves, the Emperour be­thought himself better, and began to check his proud thoughts; and upon enquiry into the quality and conditi­on of the man, finding him a devout learned man, he made him Arch Bi­shop of Colen, which place he did ex­cellently discharge.

CXLVI.

There is a Story or a Fable of a youth, who spying an old man stoo­ping and crooked like a bended bow, asked him in mockery, Whether he might buy a bow of him? The old man answered him, Thou hast no need to waste thy money, for when thou co­mest to my years, thou shalt have a Bow given thee on Free-cost without thy money. Insirmitas miserabilis, sene­ctus venerabilis. Other Stories of this sort might be produced, for [Page 307] the world is ready enough to be­stow their foolish mocks, scoffs and laughter upon what ought rather to be pitied, the naturall or accidentall defects and deformities in men, which are not [...], in our pow­er to remedy or repair; and where­by their vexations are doubled, for In calamitosos risus etiam in [...]u­ria est, and as M. Fuller english­eth it handsomely, To scoff at natu­rall defects is to beat a Cripple with his own Crutches, But Convicia vi­tiis Opprobria probris debentur, scorns are only allowed to sinners, and not to all them neither. And for such kinde of jests, they are not (I hope) to be found in this Book, except with their Antidotes to cor­rect and confute them.

CXLVII.

It is got among the Fables. but is a story recorded of one Julius of Na­ples, whose servant for the dullnesse of his wit being usually cal'd by his Master The King of Fools, to be quits with his Master once for all, He tels him, I wish I were such a King as you call me, for then I should be an Empe­rour, and my Empire would be as large as the world, and your self, Ma­ster should not be the least of my Sub­jects. This common objection of fol­ly and simplicity hath as many com­mon Answers and Defences; for so many sayings which are Proverbs elsewhere, are so many Apologies: It is not only, Some are wise, and some are otherwise, but There is l [...]sse wit, and money, and honesty in the world then men think there is. The chief disease that reigns this Year is Folly; Every one hath a Fool in his sleeve: If all Fools wore Feathers, we should seem a Flock of Geese; If all Fools had [Page 309] Bables, what should we do for fewell? We are Fools to one another. The least foolish is counted wise. He is wise with whom all things go well: None is a fool alwaies, every one sometimes. Better be a fool then a knave, While the wise are advising, the fool doth his businesse. A Fool knows more in his own house, then a wise man in anotehrs. Every one hath wit for his own purpose. The most wic­ked man proves the veriest Fool in the end.