Directions to a painter for describing our naval business in imitation of Mr. Waller / being the last works of Sir Iohn Denham ; whereunto is annexed, Clarindons house-warming, by an unknown author.

Directions to a painter for describing our naval business in imitation of Mr. Waller / being the last works of Sir Iohn Denham ; whereunto is annexed, Clarindons house-warming, by an unknown author.

Table of contents

DIRECTIONS TO A PAINTER.

TO THE KING.

DIRECTIONS TO A PAINTER.

TO THE KING.

DIRECTIONS TO A PAINTER.

DIRECTIONS TO A PAINTER.

Clarindon's HOUSE-WARMING.

Upon his House.

Upon his Grand-Children.

[Page]

[Page]

DIRECTIONS TO A PAINTER.

By Sir JOHN DENHAM.

NAy Painter, if thou darst design that fight,

Which Waller only courage had to write,

If thy bold hands can without shaking draw

What ev'n th'Actors trembled at when they saw,

Enough to make thy Colours change like theirs,

And all thy Pencils bristle like their Hairs.

First in fit distance of the prospect main,

Paint Allen tilting at the Coast of Spain;

Heroick act! and never heard till now!

Stemming of Herc'les pillars with the prow!

And how he left his Ships the Hills to waft,

And with new Sea-marks Cales and Dover graft.

[Page]Next let the flaming London come in view,

Like Nero's Rome, burnt to rebuild it new;

What less'r Sacrifice than this, was meet

To offer for the safety of the Fleet?

Blow one ship up, another thence will grow:

See what free Cities and wise Courts can do!

So some old Merchant, to insure his Name,

Marries afresh, and Courtiers share the Dame:

So whatsoe'er is broke, the Servants pay't,

And Glasses are more durable than Plate.

No May'r till now, so rich a Pageant faign'd,

Not one Barge all the Compani [...]s contain'd.

Then Painter, draw Cerulean Coventry,

Keeper, or rather Chancelour o'th' Sea,

And more exactly to express his hue,

Use nothing but Vltra-Marinish Blew.

To pay his fees, the silver Trumpet spends,

And Boat-swains whistle, for his place depends.

Pilots in vain repeat their Compass o'er,

Until of him they learn that one point more.

The constant Magnet to the Pole do [...]h hold,

Steel to the Magnet, Coventry to Gold.

Muscovy sells us Pitch, and Hemp, and Tar;

Iron and Copper, Sweden; Munster, War;

Ashly, Prize; Warwick, Customs; Cart'ret, Pay;

But Coventry doth sell the Fleet away.

Now let our Navy stretch its Canvas Wings,

Swoln like his purse, with Tacking like his strings,

By slow degrees of the increasing gale,

First under sail, and after under sale:

Then in kind visit unto Opdam's Gout,

Hedge the Dutch in, onely to let them out.

So huntsmen fair unto the Hares give Law,

First find them, and then civilly withdraw.

[Page]That the blind Archer, when they take the Seas,

The Hambrough-Convoy may betray with ease.

So, that the fish may more securely b [...]e,

The Angler baits the River over night.

But Painter, now prepare t' inrich thy piece,

Pencil of Ermins, Oyl of Ambergreece:

See where the Dutchess with triumpha [...]t trail

Of numerous Coaches, Harwich does assail!

So the Land-Crabs, at Natures kindly call,

Down to ingender to the Sea do crawl.

See then the Admiral with Navy whole,

To Harwich through the Ocean carry Co [...]l:

So Swallows buried in the Sea at Spring,

Return to Land with Summer in their Wing.

One thrifty Ferry-boat of Mother Pearl,

Suffic'd, of old, the Citherean Girl;

Yet Navies are but proper [...]ies when here,

A small Sea-Mask, and built to court your Dear:

Three Goddesses in one, Pallas for ar [...],

Venus for sport, but Iuno in your heart.

O Dutchess! if thy Nuptial pomp was mean,

'Tis paid with intrest in thy Naval Scene.

Never did Roman Mark within the Nile,

So feast the fair Egyptian Crocodile;

Nor the Venetian Duke with such a state

The Adriatick marry, at that rate.

Now Painter, spare thy weaker Art; forbear

To draw her parting passions, and each tear;

For Love, alas! hath but a short delight:

The Sea, the Dutch, the King, all call to fight.

She therefore the Dukes person recommends

To Brunker, Pen, and Coventry, [...]e [...] friends;

To Pen much, Brunker more, most Coventry:

For they she knew were all more fraid then he:

[Page]Of flying Fishes one had sav'd the Fin,

And hop'd by this he through the air might spin▪

The other thought he might avoid the Knell,

By the invention of the Diving Bell;

The [...]i [...]d had try'd it, and affirm'd a Cable

Coyl [...] rou [...]d about him, was impenitrable.

But the [...]e [...]he Duke rejected, onely chose

T [...] keep far off; let others interpose.

Rupert, that knew no fear, but health did want,

Kept state suspended in a Chair volant;

All save his head shut in that wooden case,

He she [...]'d but like a broken Weather glass;

But arm'd with the whole Lyon Cap-a-Chin,

Did represent the Hercules within.

Dear shall the Dutch his twinging anguish know▪

And see what valour whet with pain can do.

Curst in the [...]e [...]n time be that treach'rous Iael,

That through h [...]s princely Temples drove the Nail.

Rupert resolv'd to fight it like a Lyon,

And Sandwich hop'd to fight it like Arion;

He to prolong his Life in the dispute,

And charm the Holland Pirates, tun'd his Lute,

Till some judicious Dolphin might approach,

And land him safe and sound as any Roach.

Now Painter, reassume thy Pencils care,

Thou hast but skirmish'd yet, now fight prepare.

And draw the Battel terrible to show,

As the last Judgement was to Anneslow.

Fi [...]st let our Navy scour through silver froth,

The Oceans burthen, and the Kingdoms both;

Wh [...]e very bulk may represent its birth,

From Hide and Paston, burthens of the Earth;

H— whose transcendent panch so swells of late,

That he the Rupture seems of Law and State;

[Page] Paston whose belly bears more Millions

Than Indian Carrocks, and cont [...]ins more tuns.

Let sh [...]als of Porpo [...]ses on every side

Wonder in swiming by our Oak [...] out-vy'd;

And the Sea fowl all gaze, t' behold a thing

So va [...], mo [...]e swift and strong than they of wing.

But with presaging George, yet keep in sight,

And follow for the Reliques of a fight.

Then let the Dutch with well-dissembled fear,

Or bold despair, more than we wish, draw near:

At which our Gallants, to the Sea but tender,

And more to fight, their easie Stomachs render,

Wi [...]h brests so panting, that at ev'ry st [...]oke

You m [...]ght have felt their hearts b [...]a [...] through the Oak:

Wh [...]e one concerned in the Interval

Of straining choller, thus did vent his Gall:

Noah be damn'd! and all his Race accurst,

Who in Sea brine did pickle Timber first!

What though he planted Vines, he Pines cut down,

He taught us how to drink, and how to drown:

He first built Ships, and in his Wooden Wall,

Saving but eight, e'er since endanger'd all.

And thou Dutch Necromantick Fryar, be damn'd,

And in thine own first Mortar-piece be ram'd!

Who first invented Canon in thy Cell,

Nitre from Earth, and Brimstone fetch from Hell.

But damnd and treble d [...]mnd be Clarendine,

Our seventh Edward, with all his House and Line!

Who to divert the danger of the War

With Bristol, [...]ounds us on the Hollander:

Fool-coated Gownman! sells, to fight with Hance,

Dunkirk; dismantling Scotland, quarrels France:

And hopes he now hath bus'ness shap'd, and power

T' out-last our Lives or his, and scape the Tower;

[Page]And that he yet may see, ere he go down,

His dear Clarinda circled in a Crown.

By this time both the Fleets in reach dispute,

And each the other mortally salute:

Draw pensive Neptune biting of his Thumbs,

To think himself a Slave, whoe'er o'ercomes.

The frighted Nymphs retreating to their Rocks.

Beating their blew Brests, tearing their gr [...]en Locks.

Paint Eccho slain, onely th' alternate sound

From the repeating Cannon do [...]h rebound.

Opdam [...]ails placed on his Naval Throne,

Assuming Courage greater than his own;

Makes to the Duke, and threatens him from far,

To nail him to his Boards, like a Petar;

But in the vain attempt, took fire too soon,

And flies up in his ship to catch the Moon.

Mounsieurs like Rockets mount aloft, and crack

In thousand sparks, then dancingly fal [...] back.

Yet ere this happen'd, Destiny allow'd

Him his revenge, to make his death more proud;

A fatal Bullet from his side did range,

And batter'd Lawson: Oh too dear exchange!

He led our Fleet that day too short a space,

But lost his knee; since dy'd in Glory's Race:

Lawson! whose Valour beyond Fate did go,

And still fights Opdam in the L [...]ke below.

The Duke himself, tho Pe [...] did not forget,

Yet was not out of dangers random set.

Falmouth was there, I know not what to act;

Some say 'twas to grow Duke too, any contract:

An untaught Bullet in its wanton scope,

Dashes Him ▪ all to pieces, and his Hope.

Such was his rise, such was his fall, unprais`d;

A chance-shot sooner took him than Chance rais'd:

[Page]His shatter'd Head the fearless Duke distains,

And gave the last first-proof that he had brains.

Bartlet had heard it soon, and thought not good

To venture more of Royal Harding`s Blood:

To be immortal he was not of age,

And did ēvn now the Indian Prize presage;

And judg`d it safe and decent, cost what cost,

To lose the day, since his dear Brother`s lost:

With his whole Squadron straight away he bore,

And like good Boy, promis'd to fight no more.

The Dutch Auranea careless, at us saild,

And promised to do what Opdam faild;

Smith to the Duke doth intercept her way.

And cleaves there closer than a Remora:

The Captain wonder'd, and withal disdain'd,

So strongly by a thing so small, detain`d,

And in a raging brav'ry to him runs,

They stab their ships with one anothers Guns:

They fight so near, it seems to be on ground,

And ev'n the Bullets meeting, Bullets wound.

The noise, the smoak, the fire, the sweat, the blood,

[...]s not to be exprest, nor nnderstood.

Each Captain from his quarter-deck commands,

They wave their bright Swords glittering in their hands.

All Luxury of Wa [...], all man can do

[...]n a Sea-fight, did pass between them two:

But one must conquer, whosoever fight,

Smith takes the Gyant, and is made a Knight.

Marlbrough that knew, and durst do more than all,

F [...]lls undistinguisht by an Iron-Ball:

Dear Lord! but born under a Star ingrate!

No Soul more clear, nor no more gloomy fate!

Who would set up Wars Trade that means to thrive?

Death picks the Valiant out, Cowards survive:

[Page]What the Brave merit, th' Impudent do vaunt,

And none's rewarded but the Sycophant:

Hence all his Life he against Fortune fenc`d,

Or not well known, or not well recompenc'd:

But envy not this pr [...]ise [...] his memory,

None mo [...]e prepar'd was, or less fit to die.

Rupert did others and himself excell;

Holms, Tydiman, Minus; bravely Sanson fell.

What others did, let one omitted, blame,

I shall record, whoe'er brings in his Name:

But unless after stories disagree,

Nine o [...]ely came to fight, the rest to see.

Now all conspire unto the Dutchmens lo [...]s;

The wind, the fire, we, they themselves do cross.

When a sweet sleep began the Duke to drown,

And with [...]oft Diadems his Temples crown:

And fi [...]st He orders all the rest to watch,

A [...]d They the Foe, whilst He a Nap doth catch:

But lo, Brunkar by a secre instinct,

Slept not, nor needed, he all day had winkt.

The Duke in bed, he then first draws his steel,

Whose vertue makes the misled Compass wheel.

So ere He wak'd▪ both Fleets were innocent:

And Brunkar Member is of Parliament.

And now, dear Painter, after pains, like those,

'Twere time that I and thou too do repose.

But all our Navy scap'd so sound of Limb,

That a sho [...]t space serv`d to refresh and trim;

And a tame Fleet of theirs doth Convoy want,

Laden with both the Indies, and Levant:

P [...]int but this one Scene more, the World`s our own,

And Halcyon Sandwich doth command alone:

To Bergen we with confidence made haste,

And th' secret spoils by hope already taste;

[Page]Though Clifford in the Character appear

Of Supra-Cargo to our Fleet and their▪

Wearing a Signet ready to clap on,

And seiz all for his Master Arlington.

Ruyter whose little Squadron skim'd the Seas,

And wasted our remotest Coloneys;

With Ships all foul, return'd upon our way;

Sandwich would not disperse, nor yet delay;

And therefore like Commander grave and wise,

To scape his sight and flight, shut both his Eyes,

And for more state and sureness, cutting true,

The left Eye closeth, the right Mountague;

And even Clifford proferr'd in his zeal,

To make all safe, t' apply to both his Seal.

Vlysses so, till Syrens he had past,

Would by his Mates be pinion'd to the Ma [...]t.

Now can our Navy view the wished Port,

But there (to see the fortune!) was a Fort:

Sandwich would not be beaten, nor yet beat;

Fools onely fight, the Prudent use to treat.

His Cousin Mountague by Court-disaster,

Dwindled into the wooden Horse`s Master,

To speak of peace seem'd amongst all most proper,

Had Talbot then treated of nought but Copper:

O [...] what are Forts, when void of Ammuition?

With friends or foes what would we more condition?

Yet we three days, till the Dutch furnish'd all,

Men, Powder, Money, Cannon, — treat with Wall!

Then Tydiman, finding the Danes would not,

Sent in six Captains bravely to be shot.

And Mountague, though drest like any Bride,

And aboard him too, yet was reach'd and dy'd:

Sad was the chance, and yet a deeper care

Wrinkled his Membrains under forehead fair.

[Page]The Dutch Armado yet had th' impudence

To put to Sea, to waft their Merchants thence;

For as if all their ships of Walnut were,

The more we beat them, still the more they bear.

But a good Pilot, and a favouring Wind,

Brings Sandwich back, and once again did blind.

Now gentle Painter, ere we leap on shore,

With thy last strokes ruffle a tempest o'er;

As if in our reproach, the Wind and Seas

Would undertake the Dutch, while we take ease:

The Seas the spoils within our Hatches throw,

The Winds both Flee [...]s into our Mouths do blow:

Strew all their Ships along the shore by ours,

As eas'ly to be gather▪d up as Flow'rs:

But Sandwich fears for Merchants to mistake

A Man of War, and among Flow'rs a Snake.

Two Indian ships pregnant with Eastern Pearl,

And Diamonds, sate th' Officers and Earl:

Then warning of our Fleet, he it divides

Into the Ports, and so to Oxford rides.

Mean while the Dutch uniting, to our shames,

Ride all insulting o'er the Downs and Thames!

Now treating Sandwich seems the fittest choice

For Spain, there to condole, and to rejoyce:

He meets the French; but to avoid all harms

Ships to [...]he Groyn: Embassies bear no Arms:

There let him languish a long Quarantain,

And ne'er to England come, till he be clean.

Thus having [...]ought, we know not why as yet,

We've done we know not what, nor what we get:

If to espouse the Ocean all this pains;

Princes unite, and do forbid the Bains:

If to discharge Phanaticks, this makes more;

For all Phanaticks are, when they are poor:

[Page]Or if the House of Commons to repay,

Their Prize-Commissions are transferr'd away:

But for triumphant Check-stones if, and shell

For Dutchess Closet, 't hath succeeded well.

If to make Parliaments as odious pass,

Or to reserve a standing force, alas!

Or if, as just, ORANGE to re-instate,

Instead of that, he is regenerate:

And with four Millions vainly giv'n as spent,

And with five Millions more of detriment,

Our sum amounts yet onely to have won

A bastard Orange for Pimp Arlington.

Now may Historians argue con and pro;

Denham says thus; though always Waller so:

And he good Man, in his long sheet and staff,

This pennance did for Cromwels Epitaph:

And his next Theam must be o'th' Dukes Mistress,

Advice to draw Madam l' Edificatress.

Henceforth, O Gemini! two Dukes Command,

Castor and Pollux, Aumarle and Cumberland.

Since in one ship, it had been fit they'd went

In Petty's Double-Keel'd Experiment.

TO THE KING.

[Page]

By Sir JOHN DENHAM.

IMperial Prince! King of the Seas and Isles!

Dear Object of our Ioy, and Heavens smiles!

What boots it that thy Light doth gild our days,

A [...]d we lie basking in thy milder Rays;

While swarms of Insects, from thy warmth begun,

Our Land devour, and intercept our Sun?

Thou, like Ioves Minos, rul'st a greater Creet;

And for its hundred Cities, count'st thy Fleet.

Why wilt thou that state-Daedalus allow,

Who builds the Bull, a Labrinth and a Cow?

If thou art Minos, be a Iudge severe,

And in's own Maze confine the Engineer▪

[Page]O may our Sun, since he too nigh presumes,

Melt the soft Wax wherewith he imps his plumes!

And may he falling leave his hated Name

Vnto those Seas his War hath set on flame

From that Inchanter having clear'd thine Eyes,

Thy native sight will peirce within the Skies,

And view those Kingdoms calm with Ioy and Light,

Where's Vniversal Triumph, but no Fight.

Since both from Heav'n thy Race and Pow'r descend,

Rule by its pattern there to reascend.

Let Iustice onely awe, and Battel cease:

Kings are but Cards in War, they're Gods in Peace▪

DIRECTIONS TO A PAINTER.

[Page]

By Sir JOHN DENHAM.

SAndwich in Spain now, and the Duke in love,

Let's with new Gen'rals a new Painter prove:

Lilly's a Dutchman, danger's in his Art,

His Pencils may Intelligence impart.

Thou Gibson, that amongst the Navy small

Of Muscle-shells, commandest Admiral,

Thy self so slender, that thou shew'st no more

Than Barnacle new hatch'd of them before:

Come mix thy Water-colours, and express,

Drawing in little, what we yet do less.

First paint me George and Rupert ratling far

Both in one Box, like the two Dice of VVar;

[Page]And let the terror of their linked Name,

Fly through the Air like Chain-shot, tearing Fame:

Iove in one Cloud did scarcely ever wrap

Lightning so fierce, but never such a clap.

United Gen'rals sure are th' onely spell

VVherewith United Provinces to quell:

Alas, even they, though shell'd in treble Oak,

VVill prove an Addle Egge, with double Yolk.

And there [...]ore next uncouple either Hound,

And loo them at two Hares ere one be found:

Rupert to Beaufort; halloo! ah there Rupert:

Like the phantastick hunting of St. Hubert,

VVhen he with airy Hounds, and Horn of Air,

Pursues by Fountain-bleau the witchy Hare.

Deep providence of State! that could so soon

Fight Beaufort here, ere he had quit Taloon.

So have I seen, ere Humane Quarrels rise,

Fore-boding Meteors combate in the Skies.

But let the Prince to fight with Rumour go,

The Gen'ral meets a more substantial Foe:

Ruyter he spies, and full of youthful heat▪

Though half their number, thinks the odds too great.

The Fowler watching so his watry spot,

And more the Fowl, hopes for the better shot.

Though such a Limb was from his Navy torn,

He found no weakness yet, like Sampson shorn;

But swoln with sense of former Glory won,

Thought Monk must be by Albemarle out-done:

Little he knew with the same Armand Sword,

How far the Gentleman out-cuts the Lord.

Ruyter, inferiour unto none for Heart,

Superiour now in Number and in Art;

Ask'd if He thought, as once our Rebel-Nation,

To co [...]quer Theirs too, with a Declaration

[Page]And threatens, though he now so proudly sail,

He shall tread back his Iter Boreale:

This said, he the short period, ere it ends,

With Iron-Words from Brazen-Mouths extends:

Monk yet prevents him, ere the Navies meet,

And charges in himself alone a Fleet;

And with so quick and frequent motion wound

His murthering sides about, the Ship seem'd round;

And the Exchanges of his Circling Tire,

Like whirling Hoops, shew'd of triumphant Fire.

Single He doth at their whole Navy aim,

And shoots them through a Porcupine of Flame.

In noise so regular his Cannons met,

You'd think that Thunder was to Musick set:

Ah had the rest but kept a time as true,

What Age could such a Martial Consort shew!

The listning Air unto the distant shore,

Through secret Pipes conveys the tuned rore;

Till as the Eccho's, vanishing, abate,

Men feel a dead sound like the pulse of State.

If Fate expire, let Monk her place supply,

His Guns determine who shall live or dye.

But Victory doth always hate a Rant;

Valour's her Brave, but Skill is her Gallant:

Ruyter no less with vertuous Envy burns,

And Prodigies for Miracles returns:

Yet he observ'd how still his Iron-Balls

Recoy [...]d in vain against our Oaken-Walls;

How the hard Pelle [...]s fell away as dead,

By our inchanted Timber fillipped.

Leave then, said he, th' invulnerable Keel,

VVe'll find they' [...]e feeble, like Achilles Heel:

He quickly taught, pours in continual Clouds

Of chain'd Dilemma's through our sinew'd Shrouds,

[Page]Forrests of Masts fall with their rude embrace,

Our stiff Sails masht, and netted into Lace;

Till our whole Navy lay their wanton mark,

Nor any ship could sail but as the Ark.

Shot in the wing, so at the Powder's call,

The disappointed Bird doth flutt'ring fall.

Yet Monk disabled, still such courage shows,

That none into his mortal gripe dare close:

So an old Bustard, maim'd yet loth to yeild▪

Duels the Fowler in New-Market field.

But since he found it was in vain to fight,

He imps his plumes the best he can for flight.

This, Painter, were a Noble Task to tell,

What indignation his Great Brest did swell!

Not Vertuous Men unworthily abus'd,

Not Constant Lover without cause refus'd,

Not honest Merchant broke, nor skilful Player

H [...]st off the Stage, nor Sinners in despair;

Not Parents mockt, not Favorites disgrac [...]d,

Not Rump by Monk or Oliver displac'd,

Not Kings depos'd, nor Prelates ere they die,

Feel half the Rage of Gen'rals when they Fly.

Ah rather than transmit th'story to Fame,

Draw Curtains, Gentle Artist, o'er the shame:

Cashier the mem'ry of Dutell, rais'd up

To taste, instead of Death, his Highness Cup:

And if the thing were true, yet paint it not,

How Bartlet, as he long deserv'd, was shot;

Though others, that survey'd the Corps so clear,

Said he was onely petrifi'd for fear:

If so, th`hard Statue Mummi`d without Gum,

Might the Dutch Balm have spar`d, & English Tomb.

Yet if thou wilt, paint MINNS turn`d all to Soul,

And the Great HARMAN charkt almost to Coal;

[Page]And IORDAIN old, worthy thy Pencils pain,

Who all the while held up the Ducal Train:

But in a dark Cloud cover Askew, when

He quit the Prince to embarque in Loeustein;

And wounded Ships, which we immortal boast,

Now first led cap [...]ive to an Hostile Coast.

But most with story of his Hand and Thumb▪

Conceal (as Honour would) his Grace's Bum,

When the rude Bullet a large Collop tore

Out of that Buttock never turn'd before:

Fortune (it seems) would give him by that Lash,

Gentle correction for his fight so rash.

But should the Rump perceive't, they'd say that Mars

Had now reveng'd them upon Aumarle's Arse.

The long disaster better o'er to vail,

Paint onely Ionas three days in the Whale;

For no less time did conqu'ring Ruyter chaw

Our flying Gen'ral in his spungy Jaw.

Then draw the youthful Perseus all in haste,

From a Sea-Be [...]st to free the Virgin chaste;

But neither riding Pegasus for speed,

Nor with the Gorgon shielded at his need:

So Rupert the Sea-Dragon did invade,

But to save George himself, and not the Maid;

And though arriving late, he quickly mist

Ev'n Sails to fly, unable to resist.

Not Greenland Seamen that survive the fright

Of the cold Chaos, and half eternal Night,

So gladly the returning Sun adore,

Or run to spy the next years Fleet from shore,

Hoping yet once within the Oyly side

Of the fat Whale, again their Spears to hide:

As our glad Fleet, with universal shout,

Salute the Prince, and wish the second bout.

[Page]Nor Winds, long pris'ners in Earth's hollow vault,

The fallow Seas so eagerly assault;

As fiery RVPERT, with revengeful Joy,

Doth on the Dutch his hungry Courage cloy;

But soon Unrigg'd, lay like an useless Board;

(As wounded in the Wrist, Men drop their Sword.)

VVhen a propitious Cloud between us stept,

And in our aid did RVYTER intercept.

Old Homer yet did never introduce,

To save his Herce [...], Mists of better use.

VVorship the Sun, who dwell where he doth rise;

This Mist doth more deserve our Sacrifice.

Now joyful Fires, and the exalted Bell,

And Court-Gazzets, our empty Triumphs tell!

Alas! the time draws near, when overturn'd,

The lying Bells shall through the Tongues be burn'd;

Paper shall want to print that Lie of State,

And our false Fires, true Fires shall expiate.

Stay Painter, here a while, and I will stay;

Nor vex the future Times with my survey:

Seest not the Monky Dutchess all undrest?

Paint thou but her, and she will paint the rest.

This sad Tale found her in her outward Room,

Nailing up Hangings not of Persian Loom:

L [...]ke chaste Penelope that ne'er did rome▪

But made all fine against her GEORGE came home.

Upon a Ladde [...], in her Coat, much shorter,

She stood, with Groom & Coachman for Supporter;

A [...]d careless what they saw, or what they thought,

With Honi Pense full honestly she wronght:

One Te [...]ter drove, to lose no time nor place,

A once the Ladder they remove, and Grace.

VVhilst thus they her translate from North to East,

In posture just of a four-footed Beast▪

[Page]She heard the News: but alter'd yet no more,

Than that which was behind, she turn'd before;

Nor would come down, but with an Handkercher,

VVhich pocket soul did to her Neck prefer,

She shed no tears, for she was too viraginous,

But onely snuffling her Trunk Cartilaginous,

From scaling Ladder she began a story,

Worthy to be had in Memento Mori;

Arraigning past, and present, and futuri,

VVith a Prophetick, if not Fiendly Fury:

Her Hair began to creep, her Belly sound,

Her Eyes to sparkle, and her Udder bound;

Half VVitch, half Prophet; thus the Albemarle,

Like Presbyterian Sybil, 'gan to snarl:

Traytors both to my Lord, and to the King▪

Nay now it is beyond all suffering!

One valiant Man by Land, and he must be

Commanded out to stop their leaks at Sea:

Yet send him Rupert, as an Helper meet;

First the Command dividing, then the Fleet:

One may if they be beat, or both be hit,

Or if they over-come, yet Honours split:

But reck'ning GEORGE already knock'd i'th' head,

They cut him out like Bief, ere he be dead:

Each for a Quarter hopes; the first doth skip,

But shall fall short though, at the Gen [...]rals [...]hip:

Next they for Master of the Horse agree;

A third the Cock-pit begs; not any Me:

But they shall know, ay marry shall they do,

That who the Cock-pit hath, shall have Me too.

I told George first, as Calamy told me,

If the King brought these o'er, how it would be:

Men that there pick his pocket to his face,

And sell Intelligence to buy a place.

[Page]T [...]at their Relig`on`s pawn`d for Cloathes; nor care,

'Tis run so long now, to redeem`t, nor dare.

O what egreg`ous Loyalty to cheat!

O what Fidelity it was to eat!

Whilst Langdales, Hoptons, Glenhams [...]tarv`d abroad

And here true Roy`lists sink beneath their load.

Men that did there affront, defame, betray

The King, and so do here; now who but they!

What! say I Men! nay rather Monsters; Men

Onely in Bed, nor to my knowledge then.

See how they home return`d in Revel Rout,

With the small manners that they first went out:

Not better grown, nor wiser all the while,

Renew the causes of their first Exile:

As if, to shew the Fool what `tis I mean,

I chose a foul Smock, when I might have clean▪

First they for fear disband the Army tame,

And leave Good George a Gen`rals empty Name:

Then Bishops must revive, and all unfix

With Discontents, to content Twenty Six:

The Lords House drains the Houses of the Lord,

For Bishops Voices silencing the Word:

O Barthol [...]mew! Saint of their Kalendar!

What`s worse, th` Ejection, or the Massacre?

Then Culpepper, Gloster, and th` Princess dy`d;

Nothing can live that interupts an Hide.

O more than humane GLOSTER! Fate did shew

Thee but to Earth, and back again withdrew.

Then the fat Scrivener doth begin to think

[...]Twas time to mix the Royal Blood with Ink.

Barkley that swore as oft as he had Toes,

Doth kneeling now her Chastity depose;

[...]ust as the first French Card`nal could restore

Maidenhead to his Widdow, Niece, and Whore.

[Page]For Portion, if she should prove light, when weigh`d,

Four Millions shall within three years be paid,

To raise it, we must have a Naval VVar,

As if `twere nothing but Tara—Tan—Tar:

Abroad all Princes disobliging first,

At home all Parties but the very worst.

To tell of Ireland, Scotland, Dunkirk, 's sad;

Or the Kings marr`age: but he thinks I`m mad:

And sweeter Creature never saw the Sun,

If we the King wish Monk, or Queen a Nun.

But a Dutch VVa [...] shall all these Rumours still,

Bleed out these Humours, and our Purses fill;

Yet after four days Fight, they clearly saw

`Twas too much danger for a Son-in-Law:

Hire him to leave, for six score thousand pound:

So with the Kings Drums Men for sleep compound.

But modest Sandwich thought it might agree

VVith the State-Prudence, to do less than He:

And to excuse their timerousness and sloth,

They found how George might now be less than both

First Smith must for Legorn, with force enough

To venture back again, but not go through:

Beaufort is there, and to their dazling Eyes

The distance more the Object magnifies;

Yet this they gain, that Smith his time should lose,

And for my Duke too, cannot interpose:

But fearing hat our Navy, George to break,

Might yet not be sufficiently weak;

The Secretary, that had never yet

Intelligence, but from his own Gazzet,

Discovers a great secret, fit to sell,

And pays himself for`t, ere he would it tell;

Beaufort is in the Channel; Hixy here!

[...]oxy Thoulou! Beaufort is ev`ry where.

[Page]Herewith assembling the supreme Divan,

VVhere enters none but Devil, NED, and NAN ▪

And upon this pretence they straight design`d

The Fleet to sep`rate, and the VVorl [...] to blind:

Monk to the Dutch, and Rupert (here the VVench

Could not but smile) is destin`d to the French.

To write the Order, Bristol`s Clerk is chose,

One slit in`s Pen, the other in his Nose;

For he first brought the News, it is his place;

He`ll see the Fleet divided like his Face,

And through the cranny in his grisly part,

To the Dutch Chink Intelligence impart.

The Plot succeeds: the Dutch in haste prepar`d,

And poor Peel-Garlick George`s Arse they shar`d;

And then presuming of his certain wrack,

To help him late, they send for Rupert back.

Officious VVill seem`d fittest, as afraid

Left George should look too far into his trade.

At the first draught they pause with Statesmens care,

They write it fou [...], then copy it as fair;

And then compare them, when at last its sign`d,

VVill soon his Purse-strings, but no Seal could find▪

At night he sends it by the common Post,

To save the King of an Express the cost.

Lord, what adoe to pack one Letter hence▪

Some Patents pass with less circumference.

VVell George, in spite of them thou safe dost ride,

Lessen`d I hope in nought but thy backside;

For as to Reputation, this Retreat

Of thine exceeds their Victories so great:

Nor shalt thou stir from thence, by my consent,

Till thou hast made the Dutch and Them repent.

`Tis true, I want so long the Nuptial Gi [...]t,

But as I oft have done, I`ll make a Shift;

[Page]Nor will I with vain pomp accost the shore,

To try thy valour at the Buoy i`th` Nore.

Fall to thy work there, George, as I do here;

Cherish the Valiant up, Cowards cashier:

See that the Men have Pay, and Bief, and Beer,

Find out the Cheats of the four Millioneer.

Out of the very Beer, they sell the Malt;

Powder of Powder, from powder`d Bief the Salt.

Put thy hand to the Tub; instead of Oxe,

They victual with French Pork that hath the Pox.

Never such Cotqueans by small Arts to wring,

Ne`er such ill Huswives in the managing!

Pursers at Sea know fewer Cheats than they,

Marr`ners on shore less madly spend their pay.

See that thou hast new Sails thy self, and spoil

All their Sea-market, and their Cable-coyl.

Look that Good Chaplains on each ship do wait,

Nor the Sea-Diocess be impropriate:

Look to the sick and wounded Pris`ners; all

Is prize; they rob even the Hospital.

Recover back the Prizes too; in vain

We fight, if all be taken that is ta'en.

Now by our Coast the Dutchmen, like a Flight

Of feeding Ducks, ev`ning and morning light;

How our Land-Hectors, tremble, void of sense,

As if they came straight to transport them hence:

Some Sheep are stoln; the Kingdom`s all arraid,

And e`vn Presbyters now call`d out for aid.

They wish ev`n George divided to command,

One half of Him at Sea, th` other on Land.

[...] [...]hat`s that I see! Ah `tis my George agen!

[...] they in sev'n weeks have Rigg`d him then.

[...] curious Heav`ns with Lightning him surrounds▪

[...] v [...]w him, and his Name in Thunder sounds.

[Page]But with the same swift goes, Their Navy's near:

So ere we hunt, the Keeper shoots the Dee [...] ▪

Stay Heav'n a while, and thou shalt see him sail,

And George too, he can thunder, lighten, hail.

Happy the time that I e'er wedded George,

The sword of England, and the Holland Scourge.

Avaunt Rotterdam-Dog, Ruyter avaunt,

Thou Water-Rat, thou Shark, thou Cormorant.

I'll teach thee to shoot Scissers: I'll repair

Each Rope thou losest, George, out of this Hair.

'Tis strong and course enough; I'll hem this shift,

Ere thou shalt lack a Sail, and lie adrift:

Bring home the old ones; I again will sew,

And darn them up, to be as good as new.

What twice disabled! Never such a thing!

Now Soveraign help him that brought in the King ▪

Guard thy Posteriors, George, ere all be gone;

Though Jur [...]-Masts, thou'st Jury-Buttocks none.

Courage! How bravely (whet with this disgrace)

He turns, and Bullets spits in Ruyters face!

They fly, they fly, their Fleet doth now divide,

But they discard their Trump: our Trump is Hide.

Where are you now, De Ruyter, with your Bears?

See where your Merchants burn about your Ears.

Fire out the Wasps, George, from the hollow Trees,

Cramm'd with the Honey of our English Bees.

Ah now they're paid for Guinney: ere they steer

To the Gold Coast, they find it hotter here.

Turn all your ships to stoves ere you set forth,

To warm your Traffique in the frozen North.

Ah Sandwich! had thy Conduct been the same,

Bergen had seen a less but richer Flame;

Nor Ruyter liv'd new Battel to repea [...],

And oftner beaten be, than we can beat.

[Page]Scarce had George leisure, after all his pain,

To tie his Bre [...]ches; Ruyter's out again:

Thr [...]e in one year! Why sure this Ma [...] is wood [...]

B [...]a [...] him like s [...]ock- [...]sh, or he'll ne'er be good.

I see them both again prepare to try;

They first shoot through each other with the Eye.

Then — But the Ruling Providence that must

With humane projects play, as wind with dust,

Raises a storm. So Constables a fray

Knock down; and send them both well cuff'd away.

Plant now New England Fir [...] in English Oak,

Build your Ships Ribs proof to the Cannon-stroke:

To get a Fleet to Sea, exhaust the Land;

Let longing Princes pine for the Command:

Strong March-panes! Wafers light! so thin a puff

Of angry air can ruine all that Huff:

So Champions having shar'd the Lists and Sun,

The Judge throws down's Award, and they have done,

For shame come home, George; 'tis for thee too much

To fight at once with Heaven and the Dutch.

Woes me! what see I next! alas, the fate

I see of England, and its utmost date.

Those Flames of theirs at which we fondly smile,

Ki [...]dle like Torches our Sepulchral Pile.

War, Fire, and Plague against us all conspire;

We the War, God the Plague, who rais'd the Fire?

See how Men all like Ghosts, while London burns,

W [...]nder, and each over his Ashes mourns!

Curs'd be the Man that first begat this War,

[...] ill hour, under a Blazing Star.

[...]o [...] Others sport two Nations fight a Prize;

Between them both, Religion wounded dies.

[Page]So of first Troy, the angry Gods unpaid,

Raz'd the Foundations which themselves had laid.

Welcome, though late, dear George: here hadst thou bin,

We'd scap'd: (let Rupert bring the Navy in.)

Thou still must help them out, when in the mire;

Gen'ral at Land, at Plague, at Sea, at Fire.

Now thou art gone, see Beaufort dares approach,

And our Fleets angling, as to catch a Roach.

Gibson farewel, till next we put to Sea:

Truth is, thou`st drawn her in Effigie.

TO THE KING.

[Page]

By Sir JOHN DENHAM.

GReat Prince! and so much Greater as more Wise;

Sweet as our Life, and dearer than our Eyes:

What Servants will conceal, and Councels spare

To tell, the Painter and the Poet dare.

And the assistance of an heav'nly Muse

And Pencil, represent the Crimes abstruse.

Here needs no Fleet, no Sword, no forreign Foe;

Onely let Vice be damn'd, and Iustice flow.

Shake but, like Jove, thy Locks divine, and frown,

Thy Scepter will suffice to guard thy Crown.

[Page]Hark to Cassandra's Song, ere Fate destroy

By thine own Navy's wooden Horse, thy Troy.

As our Apollo, from the Tumults wave,

And gentle Calms, though but in Oars, will save.

So Philomel her sad Embroidery strung,

And vocal Silks tun'd with her Needles Tongue.

The Pictures dumb in Colours loud reveald

The Tragedies of Courts so long conceald;

But when restor'd to voice inclos'd with wings

To Woods and Groves what once the Painter sings.

DIRECTIONS TO A PAINTER.

[Page]

By Sir JOHN DENHAM.

DRaw England ruin'd by what was giv'n before,

Then draw the Commons slow in giving more:

Too late grown wiser, they their treasure see

Consum'd by fraud, or lost by treachery;

And vainly now would some account receive

Of those vast sums which they so idly gave,

And trusted to the management of such

As Dunkirk sold, to make War with the Dutch;

Dunkirk, de [...]ign'd once to a Nobler Use,

Than to erect a party Lawyers House.

[Page]But what account could they from t [...]ose expect,

Who [...] grow rich themselves, the State neglect:

Men who in England have no other Lot,

Than what they by betraying it have got;

Who can pretend to nothing but Disgrace,

VVhere either Birth or Merit find a place.

Plague, Fire and VVar, have been the Nations curse,

But to have these our Rulers, is a worse:

Yet draw these Ca [...]sers of the Kingdoms wo,

Still urging dangers from our growing Foe,

Asking new Aid for VVar with the same face,

As if, when giv'n, they meant not to make Peace.

Mean while they cheat the Publick with such haste,

They will have nothing that may ease it, past.

The Law 'gainst Irish Cattel they condemn,

As shewing distrust o'th King, that is, of them.

Yet they must now swallow this bitter P [...]ll,

Or Money want, which were the greater ill.

And then the King to Westminster is brought,

Imperfectly to speak the Chanc'lors thought;

In which, as if no Age could parallel

A Prince and Council that had rul'd so well,

He tells the Parliament He cannot brook

VVhat [...]re in them like Jealousie doth look:

Adds, That no Grieva [...]ces the Nation load,

While we're undone at home, despis'd abroad.

Thus past the Irish, wi [...]h the Money-Bill,

The first not half to good, as th [...] other ill.

With these new Millions might we not expect

Our Foes to vanquish, or our selves protect,

If not to beat them off usurped Seas,

At least to force an honourable Peace?

But though the angry fa [...]e, or folly rather,

Of our pe [...]verted State, al [...]ew us [...]ei [...]her;

[Page]Could we hope less than to defend our Shores,

Than guard our Harbours, Forts, our Ships & Stores?

We hop'd in vain: Of these, remaining are,

Not what we sav'd, but what the Dutch did spare.

Such was our Rulers generous stratagem;

A policy worthy of none but them.

After two Millions more laid on the Nation,

The Parliament grows ripe for Prorogation:

They rise, and now a Treaty is confest,

[...]Gainst which before these State-Cheats did protest:

A Treaty which too well makes it appear,

Theirs▪ not the Kingdom's Intrest, is their care.

[...]tatesmen of old, thought Arms the way to Peace;

[...] thread-bare Policies as these:

[...] for the State's defence,

They [...] too little for their own expence:

Or if [...] they any thing can spare,

It is to bu [...] Peace, not maintain a War▪

For which gre [...] work Embassadors must go

With b [...]re submissions to our arming foe:

Thus leaving a defenceles [...] State behind,

Vast [...] preparing by the Belgians find;

Against whose [...] what can us defend,

Whilst our great [...] here depend

Upon the Dutch good Nature: For when Peace

(Say they) is making▪ Acts of War must cease.

Thus were we by the name of Truce betray'd,

Though by the Dutch nothing like it was made.

Here, P [...]inter, let thine Art describe a story

Shaming our warlike Islands [...]ntient Glory:

A scene which never on our Seas appear'd,

Since o [...]r fi [...]st ships were on the Ocean steerd;

Make the Du [...]ch Fleet, while we supinely sleep,

VVi [...]hout Opposers, Masters of the Deep:

[Page]Make them securely the Thames mouth invade,

At once depriving us of that and Trade:

Draw Thunder from their floating Castles, sent

Against our Forts, weak as our Government:

Draw Wollage, Deptford, London, and the Tower,

Meanly abandon'd to a forreign Power.

Yet turn their first attempt another way,

And let their Cannons upon Sheerness play;

Which soon destroy'd, their lofty Vessels ride

Big with the hope of the approaching Tide:

Make them more help from our Remisness find,

Than from the Tide, or from the Eastern wimd.

Their Canvas swelling with a prosp'rous gale,

Swift as our fears make them to Chattam sail:

Through our weak Chain their Fireships break their way,

And our Great Ships (unman'd) become their prey:

Then draw the fruit of our ill-manag`d cost,

At once our Honour and our Safety lost:

Bury those Bulwarks of our Isle in smoak,

While their thick flames the neighb'ring Country choak.

The Charles escapes the raging Element,

To be with triumph into Holland sent;

Where the glad People to the shore resort,

To see their Terror now become their Sport▪

But Painter, fill not up thy Piece before

Thou paint'st Confusion on our troubled shore:

Instruct then thy bold Pencil to relate

The saddest Marks of an ill-govern'd State.

Draw th' injur'd Seamen deaf to all command,

While some with horror and amazement stand:

Others will know no Enemy but they

Who have unjustly robb'd them of their pay:

Boldly refusing to oppose a fire,

To kindle which our Errors did conspire:

[Page]Some (though but few) perswaded to obey,

Use [...]ess for want of ammunition stay:

The Forts design'd to guard our ships of War,

Void both of Powder and of Bullets are:

And what past Reigns in peace did ne'er omit,

The present (whilst invaded) doth forget.

Surpassing Chattam, make Whitehall appear,

If not in danger, yet at least in fear.

Make our dejection (if thou canst) seem more

Than our pride, sloth, and ign'rance did before:

The King, of danger now shews far more fear,

Than he did ever to prevent it, care:

Yet to the City doth himself convey,

Bravely to shew he was not R [...]n away:

Whilst the Black Prince, and our Fifth Harry's Wars,

Are onely acted on our Theatres:

Our States-Men finding no expedient,

(If fear of danger) but a Parliament,

Twice would avoid, by clapping up a Peace;

The Cure's to them as bad as the Disease:

But Painter, end not, till it does appear

Which most, the Dutch or Parliament they fear.

As Nero once, with Harp in Hand, survey'd

His flaming Rome; and as that burnt, he plaid:

So our Great Prince, when the Dutch Fleet arriv'd,

Saw his ships burnt; and as they burnt, he —

DIRECTIONS TO A PAINTER.

[Page]

By Sir JOHN DENHAM.

PAinter, VVhere wast thy former work did cease?

Oh `twas at Parliament, and the brave Peace!

Now for a Cornucopia: Peace all know

[...]rings Plenty with it: wish it be not Woe.

[...]raw Coats of Pageantry, and Proclamations

Of Peace, concluded with one, two, three Nations.

[...]anst thou not on the Change make Merchants grin

[...]ike outward smiles, whiles vexing thoughts within?

[Page]Thou art no Artist, if thou canst not faign,

And counterfeit the counterfeit disdain.

Draw a brave Standard, rufling at a rate

Much other than it did for Chathams fate.

The Tow'r-Guns too, thundring their Joys, that they

Have scap'd the danger of b [...]ing ta [...]en away:

These, as now mann`d, for triumphare, not fight:

As painted fire for show, not heat or light.

Amongst the Roar of these, and the mad shout

Of a poor nothing-understanding Rout,

That think the On-and-Off-Peace now is true,

Thou might`st draw Mourners for Black Bartholmew ▪

Mourners in Sion! Oh `tis not to be

Discover`d; draw a Curtain curteously

To hide them. Now proceed to draw at night

A Bonfire here and there; but none too bright,

Nor lasting: for `twas Brushwood, as they say,

VVhich they that hop`d for Coals now flung away▪

But stay, I had forgot my Mother: Draw

The Church of England `mongst thy Opera,

To play their part too; or the Dutch will say

In VVar and Peace they`ve born the Bells away.

At this end then, two or three Steeples ringing,

At th` other end draw Quires, Te Deum singing;

Between them leave a space for Tears: Remember

That `tis not long to th` Second of September.

Now if thou skill`st prospective Landskip, draw

At distance what perhaps thine Eyes ne`er saw:

Poly [...]on, Spicy Islands, Kits, or Guinney;

Syrrenam, Nova Scotia, or Virginia?

No, no, I mean not these; pray hold your laughter

These things are fa [...] off, not worth looking after:

Give not a hint of these: Draw Highland, Lowland

Mountains and Flats: Draw Scotland first, the Holland.

[Page]See, canst thou ken the Scots frowns? Then draw

That somthing had to get, but nought to lose.

Canst thou through fogs discern the Dutchmen drink [...] thos [...] ▪

Buss-Skippers, lately Capers, stamp to think

Their Catching-craft is over: some have ta`en,

To eke their VVar, a VVarrant from the Dane.

But passing these, their Statesmen view a while,

In ev▪ry graver countenance a smile:

Copy the piece there done, wherein you'l see

One laughing out, I told you how 't would be!

Draw next a pompous Interchange of Seals▪

But curs`d be he that Articles reveals

Before he knows them: Now for this take light

From him that did describe Sir Edward's fight:

You may perhaps the truth on't doubt; what tho?

You'l have it then Cum Privilegio.

Then draw our Lords Commissioners advance,

Not homewards, but for Flanders, or for France ▪

There to parlier a while, until they see

How things in Parliament resented be.

So much for Peace. Now for a Parliament:

A petty Session draw: With what content,

Guess by their countenance who came up post,

And quickly saw they had their labour lost:

Like the small Merchants when they Bargains sell;

Come hither Iack: What say? Come kiss: farewel.

But `twas abortive, born before its day;

No wonder then it dy'd so soon away.

Yet breath'd it once, and that with such a force,

It blasted Thirty Thousand Foot and Horse.

As once Prometheus man did sneez so hard,

As routed all that new-rais'd standing Guard

Of Teeth, to keep the Tongue in order: So

Down fall our New Gallants without a Foe.

[Page]But if this little one could do so much,

What will the next? Give a Prophetick touch,

If thou know how; if not, leave a great space▪

For great things to be pourtray`d in their place.

Now draw the shadow of a Parliament,

As if to scare the upper World `twere sent:

Cross your selves, Gentlemen, for shades will fright,

Especially if`t be an English Sprite:

[...]ermilion this mans guilt, ceruse his fears;

Sink th' others Eyes deep in his Head with cares:

Another thought some on Accounts, to see

How his Disbursements with Receipts agree.

Peep into Coaches, see Perriwigs neglected,

Cross'd arms and legs of such as are suspected,

Or do suspect what's coming, and foresee

Themselves must share in this Polutrophy.

Painter, hast travell'd? Didst thou e`er see Rome?

That fam▪d piece there, Angelo's Day of Doom?

Horrors and anguish of Descenders there,

May teach thee how to paint Descenders here.

Canst thou describe the empty shifts are made,

Like that which Dealers call, Forcing of Trade?

Some shift their Crimes, some Places; and among

The rest, some will their Countreys too, ere long.

Draw in a corner Gamesters, shuffling, cutting,

Their little crafts, no wit, together putting:

How to pack Knaves `mongst Kings and Queens, to make

A saving Game, whilst Heads are at the stake:

But cross their Cards, until it be confest,

Of all the play, fair dealing is the best.

Draw a Veil of Displeasure, one to Hide,

And some prepar`d to strike a blow on's side▪

Let him that built high, now creep low to shelter,

When Potentares must tumble, Helter Skelter.

[Page]The Purse, Seal, Mace, are gone, as it was fit;

Such Marks as these could not chuse but be hit:

The Purse, Seal, Mace, are gone; Bartholmew day,

Of all the days i`th`year, they're ta`en away.

The Purse, Seal, Mace are gone, but to another

Mitre; I wish not so, though to my Brother:

I care not for Translation to a See,

Unless they would translate to Italy.

Now draw a Sail playing before the wind,

From the North-West; that which it leaves behind,

Curses or out-cries, mind them not, till when

They do appear Realities, and then

Spare not to paint them in their Colours, though

Crimes of a Viceroy: Deputies have so

Been serv`d e'er now. But if the Man prove true,

Let him, with Pharaoh`s Butler, have his due.

Make the same wind blow strong against the shore

Of France, to hinder some from coming o`er

And rather draw the Golden Vessel burning,

Even there, then hither with her fraight returning,

`Tis true the Noble Treasurer is gone:

VVise, faithful, loyal; some say th` onely one:

Yet I will hope we've Pilots left behind

Can steer our Vessel without Southern VVind.

VVomen have grosly snar`d the wisest Prince

That ever was before, or hath been since:

And Granham Athaliah in that Nation,

VVas a great hinderer of Reformation.

Paint in a new Piece painted Iezabel;

Giv`t to adorn the Dining Room of Hell:

Hang by her others of the Gang; for more

Deserve a place with Rosamond, Iane Shore, &c.

Stay, Painter; now look here`s below a space,

I`th`bottom of all this, what shall we place?

[Page]Shall it be Pope, or Turk, or Prince, or Nun?

Let the Resolve write Nescio. So have done.

Expose thy Piece now to the world to see:

Perhaps they'l say of It▪ of Thee, of Me,

Poems and Paints can speake sometimes Bold Truths,

Poets and Painters are Licentious Youths.

Quae sequuntur, in limine Thalami Regii, a nescio

quo nebulone scripta, reperibantur.

Bella fugis, Bellas sequeris, Bello (que) repugnas

Et Bellatori, sunt tibi Bella Thori

Imbelles Imbelliae amas, A [...]dax (que) videris

Mars ad opus Veneris, Martis ad Arma Venus.

Clarindon's HOUSE-WARMING.

[Page]

WHen Clarindon had discern`d beforehand,

(As the Cause can eas`ly foretel the Effect)

At once three Deluges threatning our Land;

`Twas the season he thought to turn Architect.

Us Mars, and Apollo, and Vulcan consume;

VVhile he the Betrayer of England and Flander,

Like the King-fisher chuseth to build in the Broom,

And nestles in flames like the Salamander.

[Page]

But observing that Mortals run often behind,

(So unreasonable are the rates they buy-at)

His Omnipotence therefore much rather design'd

How he might create a House with a Fiat.

He had read of Rhodope, a Lady of Thrace,

Who was dig'd up so often ere she did marry;

And wish'd that his Daughter had had as much grace

To erect him a Pyramid out of her Quarry.

But then recollecting how the Harper Amphyon

Made Thebes dance aloft while he fidled and sung,

He thought (as an Instrument he was most free on)

To build with the Jews-trump of his own tongue.

Yet a President fitter in Virgil he found,

Of African Poultney, and Tyrian Dide,

That he begg'd for a Pallace so much of his ground,

As might carry the measure and name of an Hyde.

Thus dayly his Gouty Inventions he pain'd,

And all for to save the expences of Brickbat,

That Engine so fatal, which Denham had brain'd.

And too much resembled his Wives Chocolatte.

But while these devices he all doth compare,

None sollid enough seem'd for his strong Castor;

He himself would not dwell in a Castle of air,

Though he had built full many a one for his Master

Already he had got all our Money and Cattel,

To buy us for Slaves, and purchase our Lands;

What Ioseph by Famine, he wrought by Sea-Battel

Nay scarce the Priests portion could scape from his hands.

[Page]

And hence like Pharoah that Israel prest

To make Mortar and Brick, yet allow'd them no straw,

He car'd not though Egypt's Ten Plagues us distrest,

So he could to build but make Policy Law.

The Scotch Forts & Dunkirk, but that they were sold,

He would have [...]emolisht to raise up his Walls;

Nay ev'n from Tangier have sent back for the mold,

But that he had nearer the Stones of St. Pauls.

His Wood would come in at the easier rate,

So long as the Yards had a Deal or a Spar:

His Friend in the Navy would not be ingrate,

To grudge him some Timber who fram'd him the War,

To proceed in the Model he call'd in his Allons,

The two Allons when jovial, who ply him with gallons,

The two Allons who serve his blind Justice for ballance,

The two Allons who serve his Injustice for Tallons.

They approve it thus far, and said it was fine;

Yet his Lordship to finish it would be unable;

Unless all abroad he divulg'd the de [...]ign,

For his House then would grow like a Vegetable.

His Rent would no more in arreas run to Worster;

He should dwell more noble, and cheap too athome,

While into a fabrick the Presents would mus [...]er;

As by hook and by crook the world cluster'd of Atome.

[Page]

He lik'd the advice, and then soon it assay'd;

And Presents croud headlong to give good example:

So the Bribes overlaid her that, Rome once betray'd:

The Tribes ne'er contributed so to the Temple.

Straight Judges, Priests, Bishops, true sons of the Seal,

Sinners, Governors, Farmers, Banquers▪ Patentees.

[...]ring in the whole Mite of a year at a meal,

As the Chodder Clubs Dairy to the incorporate Cheese

Bul [...]a [...]es, Beak [...]s, Morley, VVrens fingers with telling

Were shriveled, and Clu [...]terbuck, Eagers & Kips ▪

Since the Act of Oblivion was never suc [...]selling,

As at this Benevolence out of the Snips.

'Twas then the Chimny-Contractors he smoakd,

Nor would take his beloved Canary in kind:

But he swore that the Patent should ne'er be revok'd;

No, would the whole Parliament kiss him behind.

Like Iove under Aetna o'erwhelming the Gyant,

For foundation the Bristol sunk in the Earth's bowel;

And St. Iohn must now for the Leads be compliant,

Or his right hand shall else be cut off with the Trowel.

For surveying the building, Prat did the feat;

But for the expence he rely'd upon Worstenholm,

Who sate heretofore at the Kings Receipt;

[...] receiv'd now and paid the Chancellours Custome▪

[Page]

By Subsidies thus both Clerick and Laick,

And with matter profane, cemented with holy,

He finish'd at last his Palace Mosaick,

By a Model more excellent than Lesly's Folly.

And upon the Tarrus, to consummate all,

A Lanthorn, like Faux's surveys the burnt Town,

And shews on the top by the Regal G [...]lt Ball,

VVhere you are to expect the Scepter and Crown

Fond City, its Rubbish and Ruines that builds,

Like vain Chymists, a flower from its ashes returning;

Your Metropolis House is in St▪ Iames's Fields,

And till there you remove, you shall never leave burning

This Temple of VVar and of Peace is the Shrine;

VVhere this Idol of State sits ador'd and accurst:

And to handsel his Altar and Nostrils divine,

Great Buckingham's Sacrifice must be the first.

Now some (as all Builders must censure abide)

Throw dust in its Front, and blame situation:

And others as much reprehend his Backside,

As too narrow by far for his expatiation.

But do not consider how in process of times,

That for Name-sake he may with Hyde Park it enlarge,

And with that convenience he soon for his Cr [...] ▪

At Tybourn may land, and spare the Tower-Barge.

[Page]

Or rather how wisely his S [...]all was built near,

Le [...]t with driving too far his Tallow impair;

When like the good Oxe, for publick good chear,

He comes to be roasted next St. Iames's Fair.

Upon his House.

HEre lies the sacred Bones

Of Paul beguiled of his Stones.

Here lie Golden Briberies,

The price of ruin'd Families:

The Cavaliers Debenter-Wall,

Fixt on an Eccentrick Basis;

Here's Dunkirk-Town and Tangier-Hall,

The Queens Marriage and all;

The Dutchman's Templum Pacis.

Upon his Grand-Children.

KEndal is dead, and Cambridge riding post?

VVhat fitter Sacrifice for Denham's Ghost?

FINIS.

[Page]

Information about this book

Title statement

Directions to a painter for describing our naval business in imitation of Mr. Waller / being the last works of Sir Iohn Denham ; whereunto is annexed, Clarindons house-warming, by an unknown author.

Denham, John, Sir, 1615-1669.

Edition statement

1667

Publication

Publisher

Text Creation Partnership,

Place of publication

Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) :

Date

2003-01 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1).

ID [DLPS]

A37541

ID [STC]

Wing D998

ID [STC]

ESTC R13880

ID [EEBO-CITATION]

12279001

ID [OCLC]

ocm 12279001

ID [VID]

58594

Availability

This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal. The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission.

Series

Early English books online.

Notes

(EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A37541)

Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 58594)

Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 140:10, 2314:9)

Source

— Directions to a painter for describing our naval business in imitation of Mr. Waller / being the last works of Sir Iohn Denham ; whereunto is annexed, Clarindons house-warming, by an unknown author., Denham, John, Sir, 1615-1669., Waller, Edmund, 1606-1687., Marvell, Andrew, 1621-1678., Milton, John, 1608-1674..

Extent

[2], 46 p.

s.n.],. [London :: 1667.. (A satire in verse.) (The main part of the work includes reprints of The second advice to a painter and The third advice to a painter, as well as two new sections, none of which can be attributed to Denham. Both it and Clarindon's housewarming have been attributed to Andrew Marvell.) (Place of publication from Wing.) (Reproduction of original in Henry E. Huntington Library.)

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