Ʋpon the most hopefull and ever Flourishing Sprouts of Valour, the indefatigable Centryes or Armed GYANTS Cut in Yew at the Physick Garden in Oxford.
Printed in the Year 1664. Reprinted with some alterations in 1682.
ALTHO no Brandish't Cherubins are here,
Yet Sons of Adam venture not too near.
It is decreed by the Eternal Host,
That Paradise must be for ever lost,
Here's your Nil ultra, else in these
Is both a Pillar and an Hercules.
If you'l not dread their looks, yet may you fear
The Arms, and strange Fatalities they bear.
On very
The Gardener
Bobert their commands they lay,And wisely he does yearly Tribute pay
Each Christmas day, submitting to the Fates,
Presents them both with two great Lace Cravates.
The Emblem of Mortality the Yew
Does now the Armed, Bloody Warriours shew:
And if unwary Mortals slight their Guard,
Oth' pleasant Gard'n they make a sad Church-yard:
In this Conjunction mischief's never scant,
The Saturnine's become a Martial plant.
Far off in Heaven are these ill-boding Stars,
What's here at hand, when Saturn joyns with Mars?
Th' Hesperian watchfull Dragon, that did lye
By th' Apples, and more then Nine waies could see,
Is less renowned: Ours do better keep
Their Treasure, and did never wink or sleep.
Their Blood is poyson, pestilent their breath,
Their very Shade is almost suddain death;
Who dares be safe? no Turk is Armed so,
When ev'ry member of them is a Bow,
Being made of Yew [...].
When Arms are Arm'd, Bows charg'd with Mace or Bill,
So that at once, with Stroke and Shoot they kill.
And lop each Limb, you cannot strike them dead,
Each Limbwill multiply like Hydra's Head.
Some vegetables do themselves protect
With prickles, stings, or stinks oth' same effect,
Our Garden Genij more General
Do not defend themselves alone, but all.
Old Heroes hung their Weapons on the Trees,
To signalize their well-got Victories;
These daring Souls, these ever brave in War
Triumphing Victors both, and Trophies are.
If Quibling Cambridge when they next Commence
Shall say, here's Terrae Filij void of Sense,
And very Block-heads: know that they were meant
For Military not a learn'd intent.
Valour and wit at equal Honour fly,
Our Valour oft, seldome their wit dwells high.
As wise men most are cowards; so tis fit
That Combatants have neither fear nor wit,
And tho their Education they'l not boastt
(And much Respect by Modesty is lost)
They value not the Box that Wickham laid
Who often to them very gravely said,
That every man is by his manners made:
'Cause you Men fail'd, these Trees assum'd of late
The grand proprieties of Humane state,
Couch't in an Oak the Soveraingty you Knew,
See here appropriate Valour in an Yew.
What are they Speechless saist? fye, men of Swords
And truly valiant, are not men of words,
They murmur tho, and shake their Crests, disturb'd
By sawcy Winds; nor would their rage be curb'd,
Were't not beneath them, Honour to repair,
When tis to strike the Winds, or beat the Air,
Jove whispers peace, or else we well might wonder,
He so secure lets rust his dastard Thunder.
These Earth-born Gyants take a different Course,
By plots, as perilous, as is their force.
Each man's an Ambuscado, and may well
Be said at once Perdue and Sentinell.
How they advance tow'rds Heav'n both Night and Day,
And forces do come in upon the way,
Yet march unseen: but Joves all kenning Eye
Did soon their Growing Stratagems espy.
Else might th' all Conquerour have been surpriz'd
As was Our own, by men in Boughs disguis'd.
The poor affrighted Atlas, had he not
At last took heart, had sent them all to pot;
For quaking so, the Heav'ns too fast ran round
That ev'ry God had almost tumbled down.
Vulcan thankt his Stars, that's one Leg was sav'd
And Venus that her—was not displaid,
Being much disturb'd in Mind, that women must
T'unfaithful Pert coats their Treasures trust.
But now the Sun is sent a league to treat,
And to Caress them with his gentle heat,
With numerous presents of his Golden Raies,
And farther promise of Serener daies;
Else they with force would crack Heav'ns Chariot Wheels.
But prostrate Earth too hangs about their Heels.
And as an ancient loyal Sabine wife,
Ventures to intercede and part the strife.
As oft an half-spun sinner—
By th' Spirits mov'd (when he's in Thinking mode)
But streight kept back by his Dear Flesh and Blood;
So they, whose humbler scope in Heav'ns Crown,
With Darling Earth are Clog'd and Fetter'd down.
Could we believe but what Old women do,
They are not only Men but Christians too,
Who fright the Devil himself. Had God but set
[...]n his first Colony, this Amulet:
No work for Cherub had their been; no doubt
The Dev'l had been, and not poor man cast out.
From Sons of Adam now we must retrieve
Our Warning to the Daughters next of Eve.
You Ladies, whom Priapus can't affright,
Whose Toyish weapon rather does invite,
(Proscrib'd as insufficient) since you are
Beneath displeasure, therefore do not dare
To use the Garden so, as men use you,
At once to Love ye, and deflouor ye too.
Weak is your Sex, you know the dev'l in Swine
Was nere repuls'd by hedge of Eglantine.
If then the Courtier Fox or Bully Bore
Your mounds have never undermind or tore,
Thus fortifie your selves: In your defence
Set Gyant Honour, Gyant Conscience.
So shall you never keep, by this Advice,
Knaves Kitchin Garden, but Fools Paradise.
FINIS.