Counsellor Manners HIS LAST LEGACY TO HIS SON: Enriched and Embellished WITH Grave Adviso's, Pat Histories, and In­genious Proverbs, Apologues, and Apophthegms.


Sunt bona, sunt quaedam mediocria, sunt mala plu [...]a,
Quae legis hic: aliter non fit, Avite, liber.
Mart. Lib. 1. Epig. XVII.

LONDON, Printed for Edward Gough, and are to be sold by most Booksellers in London. 1673.


Courteous Reader,

I Shall not according to the usual mode of those Epistles which are prefixed to printed Books, crave the patronage of any person whatsoever to this: for I hope that thou thy self, when thou hast perused it, wilt patronize it, considering the honesty and inno­cency [Page] of it; neither shall I dedicate it to any Right Worshipful or Right Honourable person, because I think it incongruous to present a small Book to a great Personage: Nor will I beg Pardon of any man for this my scribble, since I might have pre­vented it, if I would have refrain­ed from dipping my Pen in mine Inkhorn, and indeed I esteem them unworthy to be pardoned who con­sultedly commit a fault, and then desire to be excused for it. All that I desire of thee is that thou wouldst take in good part, what is here of­fered thee in good will: The design of all Theologues in the Pulpit is, to teach men Grace; and it is mine out of it, to teach them Manners, and truly a moral life is a fair step to an holy one, and a good Behaviour to a sanctified Conversation. Unman­nerly [Page] Clowns are, like Bears Cubs, meer lumps of flesh, till they be lickt into a more comely shape; and ill tutored persons are like rough hewn Statues you shall scarce per­ceive the lineaments of a man in them, till they be wrought smooth and polished.

Good manners make the man,
Quoth William of Wickham.

Be a man never so brave in his Ap­parel, if his Deportment be not an­swerable, he is as ridiculous an Ob­ject as a Monkey or a Baboon in a Scarlet Coat, with a Tiffany Ruff about his neck; good Manners a­dorn those very things that most a­dorn us, for what is a Gold Ring in a Swines snout. Since then I pre­sent thee here with such Jewels as [Page] will set thee forth and gain thee ho­nour and respect amongst all per­sons, with whom thou shalt converse; I hope thou wilt in manners accept them kindly, as well for thine own sake, as for his who here subscribes himself

Thine affectionate friend and humble Servant JOSIAH DARE.


THere dwelt sometimes in this Island of Britain, an ancient Gentleman, called Counsellor Manners, a Man of a very fair Estate, who being both aged, and sickly, found such weakness in himself, that he thought Nature would yield unto Death, and Physick unto his Diseases: this Gentle­man had one only Son, who nothing re­sembled the Qualities of his Father; which the old Man perceiving, he cau­sed him to be called to his Bed side, and [Page 2] the Chamber being voided, he brake with him in these Terms.

1. My Son thou art too young to Die, and I am too old to Live, and there­fore as Nature must of necessity pay her Debt to Death, so must she also pay her Devotion to thee; whom I alive, had to be the Comfort of mine Age, and whom alone I must leave behind me, to be the only Monument of my Name, and Honour. If thou couldst as well con­ceive the care of a Father, as I can le­vel at the Nature of a Child, or were I as able to utter my Affection towards thee, as thou oughtest to shew thy Du­ty to me, then wouldst thou desire my Life, to enjoy my Counsel; and I should correct thy Life, to amend thy Condi­tions: yet so tempered, as that neither Rigour might detract any thing from Affection in me, or Fear any whit from thee in Duty. But seeing my self so feeble, that I cannot live to be thy Guide, I am resolved to give thee such Counsel as may do thee good: wherein I shall shew my care, and discharge my Duty. My good Son, thou art to re­ceive by my Death Wealth, and by my [Page 3] Counsel Wisdom; and I would thou wert as willing to imprint the one in thy Heart, as thou wilt be ready to bear the other in thy Purse: to be rich is the Gist of Fortune, to be wise the Grace of God. Have more mind on thy Books▪ than on thy Bags, more desire of Godliness than Gold, greater affection to die well, than live wantonly.

II. Behave thy self as becomes one of thy Birth, for if thou vauntest of thy Linage, and titular Dignity, and wantest the Virtues of thy Ancestors, thou art but as a base serving Man, who carries on his sleeve the badge of some Noble Family, yet is himself but an ignoble person. In which respect Aristotle dis­coursing of Nobility, makes four parts thereof; the first of Riches, the second of Blood, the third of Learning, the fourth of Vertue. And to the two last he ascribeth the first place of true Gentry, because Boors may be rich, and Rake­hels may be of ancient bloud, but Ver­tue and Knowledge cannot harbour, but where God and Nature hath left their noble endowments. It was the saying of old English Chaucer, that to do the gentle [Page 4] deeds, that makes the Gentleman. Have what thou wilt, without these thou art but a three-half-penny fellow: Gentry without Virtue is blood indeed, but blood without fat, blood without Si­news; blood is but the body of Gentility, excellency of Vertue is the Soul: and as Vertue is the high way to honour, so without it honour falls down in the dust: and therefore when Hermodius a Noble­man born, but of a deboist life, upbrai­ded the valiant Captain Iphicrates, for that he was a Shoomakers Son, he know­ing that it was more commendable, to be made honourable for vertue, than born noble by blood, replyed, In me my Gentility begins, in thee thine ends. Be the birth never so base, yet honesty and vertue is free from disgrace; be the birth never so great, yet dishonesty and vice is subject to dishonour: there­fore since thou art well descended by thy birth, prove not base, either by bad vices of thine own, or lewd devices of other men: take thy great Birth, to be an obligation of great Vertue; suit thy behaviour unto it; ennoble thy Parent­age with Piety; and since true Honour [Page 5] must come of thy self, and not of others worth▪ work out thine own Glory by performing good deeds; and stand not upon what thou dost borrow of thy Predecessors, if thou reach not the Good­ness of those which gave thee outward Glory, and dost not so much honour thy House, with the glory of thy Vertues, as thy House hath honoured the with the title of thy Degree; but dost as a noisom Weed grow the ranker because thou springest out from a rich soil, know thou art but a wooden Dagger, put into a gaudy sheath, to help fill up the place, when that of good metal is lost, and can no more be found. If thou dost not learn Patri [...]are, and let my Vertue mix with thy blood; know thou art but as a painted Fire, which may become the Wall, but gives no light to the beholder: and that the greater my Honour and Repu­tation was, the greater will thy blemish be, if thou come short of my Merits: for thou art guilty of neglecting so good a President. Remember what Dionysius King of Sicily said to his Son, whom he knew to have committed Adultery, Didst thou (saith he) euer find such a [Page 6] thing in thy Father? the Son (as though he would make his height and gran­deur, a priviledge of looseness, and as though it were no matter whether men were good, so they were great,) ans­wered, oh (said he) you had not a King to your Father, neither (said the Father) shall thy Son, except thou turn over a new leaf, and take a better course, ever be King. And again remember what King Edward the First said to John Earl of Athol, who was nobly descended, having commit­ted a Murther upon John Cominaeus, The higher thy calling is, the greater must be thy fall, and as thou art of higher paren­tage, so shalt thou be the higher hanged: and so he was on a Gallows 50. Foot high. And as I would have thee remem­ber the foregoing Examples, so likewise this ensuing one, of Boleslaus the fourth King of Poland, who bore the Picture of his Father hanged about his Neck in a plate of gold, and when he was to do any thing, he took this Picture, and kissing it said, Dear Father, I wish I may not do any thing that is base, or unwor­thy of thy Name.

III. Be acquainted with good carri­age, [Page 7] let thy behaviour be civil, and in­offensive, unto those in whose Company thou art, to that end do nothing which may be unpleasant, and offensive to their Senses.

And first of the Sence of Hearing, of­fend not the Ears of the Company with talking loud like a Clown, for it savours not of a Gentleman so to do; besides, it may draw upon thee, the aspersion of being a Fool, according to that Graeci­ans saying, [...], the loudest talkers are none of the wisest Men, forbear also singing, especially if thy voice be harsh, and untunable; for who will be taken with the braying of an Ass, or the notes of a Cuckow? If in Company thou chance to gape, put thy hand before thy Mouth, and continue not thy discourse while thou art gaping, for that is both ridiculous, and to many as offensive, as the gaping of a stinking Oyster: neither when thou gapest, yawl, and roar, as some do, for that ill be­seems a Man; briefly, as much as in the lies, refrain from gaping often in Com­pany, that those thou dost converse with, may not fancy that the Oven is got­ten [Page 8] into the Parlour, or that one of the wide mouthed Anticks over the Church Porch, is come amongst them. Neither sneeze or cough too loud, and violently if thou canst help it, but (if possible) repress it, lest thou besprinkle with the dew of thy Lungs, his face that stands by thee.

IV. And as thou must not offend the Sence of Hearing, so likewise thou must neither offend that of Seeing; be not seen with a drop hanging at thy nose, like an Iceicle on the Eaves of an House; neither pick thy Teeth, or blow thy Nostrils aloud, when thou sittest at the Table, nor look into thine Handker­chief, as if thou hadst blown out a Pearl, or Carbuncle; neither when thou dost arise from thence, openly unbutton, or unhasp thy Breeches, as if thou wert in hast to ease Nature; nor return to the Company, from the necessary House in the Garden, with thy Hose untied; for this carries with it a shew of immodesty in thy self, and of disrespect to others; let not therefore the impudent Dog that cares not before whom he exonerates his Belly, be thy President, but rather [Page 9] let the modest Cat be a Pattern to thee of more civility, which, as soon as me hath eased her self, doth presently hide and bury her Excrements. If thou art walking with any one, and shalt see any thing that's filthy in the way, thou shalt not presently turn and shew it him; nei­ther shalt thou bring any odious or loath­som thing to others, that they may see it or smell to it.

V. For thou must be careful that thou offend not this Sence of Smelling also; never at the Table smell to the Meat that's carved to thee; for this is very offensive, to those that have invited thee, and seems to put an affront upon them, as if what they had provided for thine Entertainment did stink: I remember how a Lady returned the affront upon a Gentleman that did so; for when she espyed him to smell to the Meat she had carved to him, she said aloud before all her Guests, Sir, if you smell any thing that is offensive, it is your own Breath re­flected from your Trencher.

VI. The next Sence is that of Tasting, which thou must take heed of offending; never give him to whom thou drinkest, [...] [Page 8] [...] [Page 9] [Page 10] an empty Cup or Glass; for that will ar­gue to many an empty Pericranium: nei­ther give to any one a Pear, an Apple, a Peach, or an Apricock, which thou hast bitten; let Kings only have their Tasters. Smack not with thy lips in chewing thy meat, for so feeds the Swine at his Trough; neither let thy fingers be knuc­kle deep in the Sauce, for that is loath­som, and savours of Slovenry, or that thou hast been better fed than taught. Rub not thy Bread between thine Hands into Crums and Mammocks, as if thou wert rather to feed Chickens than thy self; but especially abstain from doing so, when thou art to put thy bread into a Mess of Broth, or Cream, brought to the Table, lest the sweating of thy hands may seem to make it Bread and Butter too.

VII. Let thy Man that waits on the at the Table, observe these Instructions; when he gives thee Wine, Beer, or Ale, let him not clum the Glass or Cup, in his fist, but with an even and steady hand, present it to thee on a fair Plate or Trencher; and be sure that he fills them not over-full, for that is called Piss-pot [Page 11] Measure: tell him that he must not cough, spit, or sneeze, when he presents thee that liquor which thou callest for, and that he must not be slippery fingered, for so he may sauce thy Cloaths; the first thing to be learned in Falconry, is, to hold fast. When he takes a Tost, or a rosted Apple from the fire, he must not blow upon it to blow off the Ashes, for men are wont to say, that there is never Wind without some Water: let him ra­ther strike off, and brush off the Ashes. Let him be neat in his Cloaths, let his Hands and Face be clean, for the slovenry of the Servant, redounds to the shame and disgrace of the Master; and men will be apt to say, like Master, like Man. Briefly, if thou wouldst have him to be a good Serving Man indeed, urge him to observe these four things,

  • 1. Speak when I speak to thee.
  • 2. Come when I call thee.
  • 3. Do what I bid thee.
  • 4. Shut the door after thee.

But to return to thy Self, and to the last Sence, which is of Touching, or Feeling.

[Page 12] VIII. And this Sence thou must as little offend as any of the other four: when thou art talking with another, stand not so near unto him, that thou maist touch him with thy Breath, for thy breath may peradventure offend him, more than thy words may please him: neither in thy Discourse sulch him, or punch him with thy Elbows, as if thou wouldst rather beat it into his sides, than into his Ears; for this is prodigiously of­fensive to Personages of Quality▪ Besides these, there are also things done with­out any peculiar trouble to the Sences, and yet they displease most men and therefore are to be avoided.

IX. Sleep not in that place where there is good Company, which may de­light, or teach thee by their discourses; lest either thou maist seem to have ta­ken a Cup of Nimis, or little regardest the present Company; or their talk; besides it is often seen, that sweat runs down the faces, and spittle down the Beards of such Sleepers, which is no plea­sant sight, and they commonly snort and rout which is no pleasant hearing.

X. Pull not out of thy Pocket now [Page 13] this Letter or Epistle, now that, neither take a Book by thy self in the Window, and read it; nor compose thy whole body to cut thy Nails with thy Scissers or thy Knife, as if thou esteemest not those who are with thee, or their dis­course; and therefore to pass away the time, thou seekest for some other im­ployment or avocation.

XI. When thou sittest down, turn not thy Back to anothers Face, neither rest or lean upon another, as on a prop, ma­king him thy leaning stock, lest thou re­ceive the like taunt, which a Gentleman passed upon a Clown, that leaned hard upon him, Pray friend when you have done with my shoulder, let me have it again.

XII. Imitate as much as thou canst the Custom of thy Country, and People, in the adorning and attire of thy Body, al­though the Cloaths that are used are of less profit, or are not so fit unto the body as the old were, or did seem to be; if all the Country cut their Hair short, I would not have thee wear thine long, and if they wear long Hair, I would not have thee clip thine even to [Page 14] thy Ears, which would make thee shew like a Duckatoon, as Mr. Cleaveland doth express it. For that is to be singular and contrary unto others, which thou shouldst not be, unless it be by some necessity, for this will render the most ridiculous and contemptible unto others, and prove thee to be as humoursom as the Cynick Diogenes, who would always go against a crowd, because he would be contrary to all others: it is better in many things to swim with the stream, than crosly and perversly with the Sturgeon, always swim against it: for thou wilt be accounted nothing, if thou opposest the publick Cu­stoms of all. Do thou therefore accom­modate, or fashion thy self unto them, in a certain Mediocrity, and be not thou the only He in thy Country, who hast thy Coat hanging down to thy Ankles, when others have it scarce hanging down to their Knees, neither wear it very short, when others wear it very long: let not thy Beaver be made with a steeple Crown, whilst the Crowns of other mens Hats are flat and couchant, lest they that meet thee take thee for a stalking antick, or an Image broke loose [Page 15] from an old piece of Arras. Let thy Cloaths be neat, fit, and fashionable, not over-gaudy, that the wiser sort of men may not take the for the Kings Jester. When one was at the Printing House, busie to prepare a course Treatise for the Press, whose margin was all filled with citing of Authors, a learned Man came in, to whom he presented a Sheet, de­siring him to peruse it, and give him his true Judgment of it, the Gentleman having cast his eye over the Paper, told him, that the lace was better than the Cloth; to apply this, I know that many Gallants of the Town, upon the coorsest Cloth set the richest Lace, which I take to be a great vanity, and therefore not sit for thy Imitation; rather let the Cloth thou wearest be rich, and thou thy self the best triming to it.

XIII. Wear not Clothes or Jewells, which are not fit for thy place or degree; there are some who wear Chains of Gold about their Necks, Rings upon their Fin­gers, their Garments being hung with Jewells, who will be Clothed in Purple for Ostentation, and fine linen for De­lectation, who will go beyond their De­gree [Page 16] and place, beyond the Rate of their Living, the State of their Calling, and the Rule of good Laws, so that they seem to be Great and Noble Men, when they are no better than a pitiful Barber, or some finical French dancing Master; resembling the Foxes and Polecats, whose Cases are more worth than their whole Bodies besides: he never goes seemly, that cuts not his Coat according to his Cloth.

XIV. Love not thy self too much, and above measure, for if thou dost, there will be left no place in thine heart, to love others as thou shouldst: nei­ther be scornful, nor disdainful; for to live with scornful and disdainful Men, whose friendship is as easily broken as a rotten thread, is not to live with them as Friends, but as Slaves.

Spernere Mundum, spernere nullum, spernere Sese,
Spernere se sperni, quatuor ista beant,
If thou despise the World thy self,
If thou none else despire,
If thou despise, thou art despis'd,
These four will make the wise.

[Page 17] XV. I therefore advise thee to be humble, Humility is of an excellent good Nature, and hath a singular obligingness in its constitution, it will make thee ac­ceptable to all men; dost thou not see how intolerable the proud are, and what is the reason of it? but because they scorn all that are not of their Rank; they cannot be obliged, because they think, that whatsoever thou dost is due to their merit; they would be beloved by all, without loving any; they will command in all companies, they will teach all, but learn of none; they are incapable of gratitude, and think thou art honoured sufficiently for all thy ser­vices, if they do but receive them, and give thee a gracious nod; but the humble man is the most agreeable person upon earth, thou obligest him by a good word, which he thinks he does not deserve; he is thankful for the smallest courtesie, had rather obey than rule, he is desirous to learn of the meanest Scholar, he de­spises none but himself; he loves though he be not beloved, and thinks nothing too much to do for them that esteem him, and have shewed him any civili­ties; [Page 18] of all Vices Pride is the worst, espe­cially where it is not backt with worth and good Parts: Aristotle espying a rich young man, but altogether unlearned; strutting along the Streets, with a proud affected gate, and his eyes so elevated towards Heaven, as if he would have snuft up the Moon, came to him, and whispering him in the ear, said Friend such as thou thinkest thy self to be, I wish I were; but to be as thou art, I wish only to mine Enemy. Pride is like the prece­dency of Funerals, he that puts himself foremost is likely the Mourner: King Lewis the Eleventh was wont to say, When pride rides in the Saddle, shame and confusion rides on the Crupper. He that climbs high had need take heed to his sure footing, for the higher he mounts the greater will be his squelsh.

XVI. Thou mayst erre divers ways in thy discourse, to the end therefore that thou mayst avoid it, I will give thee these following Instructions.

Let not thy talk be frivolous, but especially let it not be lewd, it is a dead­ly sign or symptom when a mans filthy Excrements come forth at his mouth; [Page 19] one observes, that the discourses of some are so foul and obscene, that some one or other as little acquainted with God, as themselves, will be apt to con­clude, that Nature spoiled them in the making, in setting their mouths at the wrong end of their Bodies: and certain­ly it is a sign of a corrupted and putri­sied soul within, whence there steems out so much odious and stinking breath. It becomes honest men to please others with civil and chast language.

Neither let thy talk by any means be against God or his Saints, his Word or his Ministers either in jest or in earnest, for if thou talk so in earnest, thou wilt shew thy self Atheistical, and if in jest, thou wilt thereby shew thy self Profane: Leave this, and domnation to boot, to the Hectors of the times. I my self have many times observed, that some (who I am perswaded truly feared and ado­red the Majesty of the most high) have often forsook the place, where there was as well talk of God as against him.

Neither do thou call the dreadful and omnipotent God for a Witness to every [Page 20] frivolous matter, nor do thou in thy fa­miliar discourse, swear vainly by his most sacred Name; he that usually swears to gain credit, will be sure to lose it. For as we say, Shew me a Lyer, and I will shew thee a Thief; so we may say, Shew me a common Swearer, and I will shew thee a common Lyer: this hor­rid Vice like a two edged Sword will do thee mischief two ways; for it will make thee odious first to God, and then also to all good men.

Begin no talk before thou hast consi­dered the form of it in thy mind, true consideration is the Tutor both to acting and speaking, and a great Enemy both to untimely Actions and Narrations: con­sider therefore the Matter of thy Dis­course, the Manner of it, the End of it, the Persons of whom, and to whom thou speakest. 'Twas sound and good coun­sel, that the Lyrick Poet gave us in one of his Epistles,

Quod de quiq viro, & cui dicas saepè caveto.

When thou dost talk of any man take care. Of whom, to whom, and what thy speeches are.

[Page 21] At merry meetings shun the relating of melancholy matters, but let thy dis­course be genial and frolick fit for such Times and Places; it were far better to be silent, than to relate such things as may contristate their minds, who are met only for the sake of mirth and jol­lity; neither do thou at a Feast preach temperance, or talk at the Table of nau­seous things, for these are as much the Tricks and Devices of a Glutton, as it would be for a man to spit in his Pottage, that he might eat them all by himself, and deter others from eating with him: briefly, when thou art in company ob­serve these two things,

First, Hold no Arguments.
Secondly, Lay no Wagers.

For these have often been the breach of friendship. Take heed that thou do not do as those, who have nothing else in their mouths but their Children, their Wise, their Nurse, saying, O how my lit­tle Boy did move me to laugh yesterday▪ you never heard one of his age talk so wittily in your life, neither did you ever see a Boy more amiable than my little Tommy: but especially run not out in [Page 22] the commendations of thy Wife, what a good Huswife she is, what a Wise and understanding Woman, and how beauti­ful, and yet how chaste she is, that ne­ver man had her peer, this is as great a folly as to brag of thy Gold amongst Thieves and Robbers: remember how it cost Candaules dear, even his life, for shewing his beautiful Wife to Gyges. Besides no body can be so idle, as to answer these things, or to give his mind to such trifles, and there is no one but must needs be affected with trouble to hear them.

Use not in thy discourse certain com­mon Places and Themes wherein thou art good, but shalt want variety, which kind of Poverty is for the most part te­dious, and when once found out and observed ridiculous; thou must talk of many matters not always harp upon one string, he that always sings one Note without descant, breedeth no delight; he that always plays one part bringeth loathsomness to the ear, it is variety that moveth the minds of all men; vary therefore and intermingle thy speech with Reasons, Tales, asking of Questions, [Page 23] telling of Opinions, and mixing jest with earnest, for it is a dull thing to tire and as we say to jade any thing too far. Re­cite not thy stories again and again, for this is as Nauseous as it would be to feed a man, as a Nurse doth her Child with meat chewed over and over; though the Rose be sweet, yet being tyed with the Violet the smell is more fragrant, though meat nourisheth, yet having good sauce it provoketh appetite, the fairest Nose­gay is made of many Flowers, the finest Picture of sundry colours, the whole­somest Medicine of divers ingredients, and so the best discourse consists of vari­ous things.

My Son, as for jesting there are cer­tain things, which ought to be privi­ledged from it; namely Religion (of which I have already spoken) matters of State, great Persons, any mans present business of importance, and any case that deserveth pity: for to jeer at him that is miserable is inhumane, and as great a cruelty, as it would be to flea a man first, and afterwards to salt him. Yet there are some that think their wits have been asleep, unless they dart out something [Page 24] that is piquant, and to the quick: this is an humour which should be bridled, and generally men ought to find the difference between saltness and bitter­ness; certainly he that hath a satyrical vein, as he maketh others afraid of his wit, so hath he need to be afraid of o­thers memory. To jest is tolerable, but to do hurt by jesting is insufferable; yet many there are, that will lose their friend rather than their Jest, or their Quibble, Pun, Punnet, or Pundigrion, fif­teen of which will not make up one sin­gle jest. This like cursed Cham, first lays open a mans nakedness, and then exposes it to the scorn and laughter of others.

As there are some who cannot jest, so there are others who cannot bear a jest, of whom beware, lest whilst thou breakest thy jest they break thy Pate: Non tutum est scribere in eos, qui possunt proscribere (said an old Roman) which is in effect▪ as much as to say, meddle not with those that can avenge themselves upon thee, for thy drollery upon them; they that will irritate such Wasps, may smart by their stings, but shall never [Page 25] taste of their Honey. Qui mockat moc­kabitur, though it be but a piece of Mock-Latine, yet it is experimentally found to be a serious Truth; for those that will be always jeering and flout­ing at others, commonly meet with a Match for their Game Cock: As amongst an hundred more will appear by this one instance; Three Ʋniversity Young­sters, who because they had run through the Predicables and Predicaments, thought themselves as wise as Solomon, had got­ten into the best Room in an Inn, where they were very merry, after them came riding into the same Inn a grave Coun­try Parson with a long white Beard, and being alone, craved leave by mine Host to be admitted into their Company; to which they gladly condescended, re­solving within themselves to make them­selves very merry with the old Country Rat, as they termed him; whom coming into their Room they thus accosted, the first with a low Lout said, Welcome Fa­ther Abraham, the second, welcome Fa­ther Isaac, the third, welcome Father Jacob, to whom the old Stager replied, Gentlemen, you are all mistaken; for I [Page 26] am neither Abraham, Isaac, nor Jacob, but my Name is Saul, who hath been seeking my Fathers Asses, and lo here I have found them.

There are some that will answer o­thers contrary to what they expect, and that without any wit at all; as if one shall ask of a Servant, Where is thy Ma­ster? he should answer in his skin: how doth the Wine taste? as if it were moist: how camest thou hither? upon my legs. These and many other like these avoid carefully; It is better to say nothing than that which is nothing worth. When any one of thy Company tells a story, take heed thou rejoyn not (as some usually do) saying now, Sir, you have done tel­ling your story, I will tell you another, and it is a true one; for that is little better than to give him the lye: and may with some hot Spurs give them a ground to quarrel with thee. When thou dost relate a Tale or Jest, omit the Oaths that are sometimes mingled with it; for he that would cleanly and safely feed, will first pare his Apple, and then cut out the Core, and what is worm-eaten. If thy merry Tales, witty Sayings, and pleasant Jests [Page 27] are not approved of by the laughter of those that are with thee, thou shalt forth­with leave: briefly laugh not out at thy own Jests, for this will sooner make thy self ridiculous, than thy Company merry.

Be not impertinent as some, who when they relate a story, will say him of whom I speak, was the Son of this or that man, who lives in such a place, do you not know the man? he hath a Wife and Children, he is a tall man, and something ancient; truly if you know him not, you know no body, I know such a man knows him very well: all this is but beating about the Hedge, but no catching the Bird.

In thy Discourse thou must use as much as thou canst words that are pro­per, and express a thing according to Art; that thou mayst not therefore talk like a Clown in the Company of Gen­tlemen, I advise thee to be skilful in the terms of Heraldry, Hawking and Hunt­ing, lest thou make thy self as ridiculous by using improper terms, as the French­man was, when he called to the Maid to cleanse his Chamber, saying, he had untrust a point there.

[Page 28] Never talk French, Latine, or Italian at the Table, or in the Company of those who understand neither of these Languages; for this will either argue O­stentation in thy self, or make those with whom thou dost converse jealous, that thou talkest no good of them. I have heard of one that was fitted in his kind for this folly, who drinking to a grave Matron, said, Come, Madam, here is an Health omnibus Nebulonibus, & Nebulo­nibus nostris, to whom she replied, I thank you, Sir, not forgetting your Fa­ther and your Mother.

Use not flat and mean expressions, when thou art talking of great and illu­strious things, or such as require more full ones. When Seneca heard a dull Fellow describing a Tempest at Sea, after a very mean rate, he laught at him, and told him; Sir, I have seen a greater tem­pest in a Pail of Milk than you have de­scribed. Of this fault also was that French man guilty, who styled Christ the Dau­phin of Heaven: and he who called the Sun the Lanthorn of the World, of the two he had been better to have said the Moon; for few men make use of a [Page 29] Lanthorn by day, unless it be as Diogenes did to seek for an honest man. Another there is who tells us, that the body is the Socket of the Soul, which is but a greasie and stinking Metaphor; and a thousand more like these could I here reckon up to thee, but the following one shall serve for all, which is this, I remember that when I was a School-boy one of my Fellows was well whipt, be­cause in a Copy of Verses upon the Gun­powder Treason, he called Guydo Fawks for attempting to blow up the Parlia­ment▪ House, a very Knave. Werefore remember I advise thee to adequate and adapt all thine expressions, as the Gran­deur of the matter that thou speakest of doth duely require.

Begin no talk, unless thou art able to continue it, lest thou do as that Rump-Parliament-man, who all the while he sate in the House, would start up at every thing proposed, and say, Mr. Speaker, I conceive, and so without speaking any more words would sit down again; up­on which another Member of the House stood up, and said, Mr. Speaker, this Gentleman doth still conceive, but hath [Page 30] never strength to bring forth. Farther, be sure to know when to begin Talk, and when to end it, that thou mayst a­void that Vice, which Songsters are guil­ty of, who being intreated will scarce sing Sol Fa, but not desired will strain a­bove Ela; for which the Satyrist doth thus stigmatize them,

—They can't abide to sing a Song,
If they're intreated, but they'll ne're give o're,
If not desired—

Be not thou either so Morose as not to talk at all, or if thou hast once begun so tedious as never to make an end, but to keep a perpetual noise as Crickets do in the Chimney-corner; a man had as good have a Drum always beating in his ears, as be troubled with such imper­tinent Coxcombs. The wisdom next to speaking well, is to know when to be­gin and when to end; therefore keep measure in thy Communication, if thou art too brief thou shalt not be under­stood, if too long thou wilt be tedious.

XVII. Neither do thou follow the Example of those, who will prefer them­selves in all things above others, who [Page 31] will put themselves in the best Beds, in the best Chambers, and in the highest Places, & will like nothing but what they them­selves invent or do, but will set aside and suspend others with a Jest, and will have themselves accounted best in solemn Feasts or Banquets, in Horsmanship, in Plays, and in all Refreshments of the Body and Exercises of the Mind to ex­cel all others, and boast much of what they have, and what they have done; which things are odious, and therefore I advise thee to avoid them: and re­member that nothing makes a mans breath stink worse than commendations of him­self. Speech of thy self ought to be sel­dom and well chosen. I knew one, saith Sir Francis Bacon, who was wont to say in scorn; he must needs be a wise man he speaks so much of himself: and there is but one case wherein thou mayst commend thy self with good Grace, and that is in commending Vertue in another, especially if it be such a Vertue whereunto thou thy self pretendest.

Never speak well of thy self, unless thou be taxed for any dishonesty by a slanderous Tongue; for a man may tell [Page 32] his Slanderer, that he is as honest a man as himself, or any of his Generation; and if a man shall say I am an honest man, he is not to be taxed of vain-glory; but if he say I am a learned man, or I am a wise man, he will shew himself to be ve­ry vain; so then a man may praise him­self as to his Morals, but not as to his In­tellectuals.

XVIII. Resemble not those, who when a Question is proposed unto them, are so long before they give their Opinion, that they prove very troublesom in ma­king a very long Circumstance or Ex­cuse, saying, Sirs, I am the unworthiest and the unlearnedest in the whole Com­pany, here are Gentlemen who are far worthier and far more learned than I am, and are better able to answer the Question propounded (when indeed he is by the confession of all, the learnedest there, and best able to give a resolution) yet for the sake of obedience I shall wil­lingly submit my self to your commands, whilst these and many other vain Pre­ambles are made, they put a stop to the present business, and in that time the Question might have been answered: [Page 33] when a Fidler is long and tedious in tuning his Fiddle, who will care for his Musick?

XIX. Be not thou like those who are so heady, sharp, sullen, and rough, that nothing can please them, howsoever or by whomsoever it is done; who, what­soever is said unto them, do answer with a grim or sower countenance; and in whosoevers company they are, chide their Servants, nay sometimes beat them, so that they disturb the whole compa­ny, to whom all humours are odious, but what are Debonaire: and to jar, scold, and ruffle with those about thee, just when thy Guests are ready to sit down at thy Table, is as if thou shouldst scrape thy Trenchers to set their Teeth on edge, before they begin to eat their meat: be not angry at thy Table what­soever happens, but rather contain thy self and dissemble it, lest there should a sign of trouble appear in thy counte­nance, and so thy Guests be induced to believe, that some in the company are not so welcome as they should be: but rather be merry and facetious at thy Meals, for this like Poynant sauce will [Page 34] make thy Meal the more savoury.

XX. Be not contrary to others de­sires, neither oppose the delights of o­thers; when they talk of what Sports they most delight in, do not thou un­dervalue them, nor, if they desire thee to make one at their Recreations, re­fuse their desires; for that argues moro­sity; complacency is hugely pleasing to all those, with whom we converse, and one jarring string spoils the harmony of a whole set of Musick.

XXI. Be not rough or strange but ra­ther pleasant and familiar, accustom thy self to salute every one very kindly, to talk with them and answer them very pleasantly and familiarly; it is a true to­ken of Nobility and the certain mark of a Gentleman to be courteous to all, and especially to Strangers. Themistocles was so full of courtesie, that he never en­tred the Market-place, without salu­ting every Citizen by his name, or some other friendly compellation; as a Bell is known by the sound, so is a mans Gentility by his courteous affability. Ferdinando King of Spain was wont to say, that proud looks lose hearts, but cour­teous [Page 35] words win them. Courtesie will drew unto thee the love of Strangers, and the good liking of thine own Coun­try-men.

XXII. Avoid the custom of many, who will always be of a sad countenance, and will never be merry with their friends, but refuse all things that are offered to make them merry, and when any one sends commendations unto them, they will answer the Messenger, what am I the better for his commendations? and if any one tells them that such or such a friend of late asked for them, whe­ther they were in good health or no, they will answer he may come and see if he please.

XXIII. Thou must not be melancho­ly, and thoughty in that place, where any one is, as if thou wert snatcht and placed without thy self; yea although this may be born with in those, who have spent many years, in the conside­ration and contemplation of the Liberal Arts and Sciences, yet I tell thee in o­thers without doubt, it is not to be ap­proved of, yea thou dost well at that time, in which thou thinkest to medi­tate, [Page 36] to go in from the company of others, either into thy Study or some other solitary Place, the solitary Night­ingale sings sweetest, when all other Birds are fast asteep.

XXIV. Be not of too nice and deli­cate a Mind, and too precise in thy dis­course, for I say that talk with such men, as are so, is rather a Bondage than an equal Society: there are some who are so nice and curious in all their words and actions, that to live and con­verse with them, is no other than to be surrounded with brittle Glasses, so that men greatly fear to touch them, they must handle and observe them very softly and gently, they must fitly and carefully salute them, visit them, and answer their questions, otherwise they will be very angry; they are so de­lighted with their titles, that unless any one shall have them at his fingers ends, and use them at every word, they will be displeased, nay they will scarce an­swer him, or if they do it will be thus, I truly (as thou knowest) am called Master, but thou dost forget to put a M under thy Girdle.

[Page 37] Take heed of lying, for if thou usest this vice often, thou wilt lose thy cre­dit amongst all men; the Persians and Indians deprived him of all honour and further speech, that lyed. Homer wri­teth of the great and valiant Captain A­chilles, that he did more abhor lying than death: remember how that the Cretans for lying became a by-word to the whole world; much less do thou add to thy lying execrable wishes; Mun­ster writeth of Popiel the Second, King of Poland, who had ever this word in his mouth▪ if it be not true, I would the Rats might eat me, but shortly after being at a Banquet, he was so fiercely assailed by Rats, that neither his Guard, Fire, or Water could preserve him from them. Neither be thou like those Jesters, who practice lying and telling strange inven­tions of their own, which are most false, to please for a time the Hearers; nor like those who devise and spread false News, and account it good sport to de­ceive the simple; but be thou slow to tell News and Tales; whatsoever thou seest or hearest of others, either meddle not with it, but strive to be quiet and do [Page 38] thine own business; or if it so concern thee, that thou must needs speak of it, take heed that thou do not mistake any part of it, many things are so spoken, that they may be taken well or ill, yea and what can be said but some one or other may turn it into an evil Meaning? as the Spider that out of the best Flowers will suck some Poison: but be thou of the mind to take every thing the best way, and as it were by the right handle; knowing that it is the Devils property to make the worst of every thing. Thou mayest be deceived in what thou hear­est another speak; because thou canst not see the Heart and Meaning of the Person, much more in that which thou hast of him by Hear-say, for Reports are commonly very faulty, and seldom hold truth in all points; and those that told it thee, are apt to deny it again, if thou hast not witness, and so thou may­est run thy self into great trouble: there­fore imitate Epimenides the Painter, who after his return from Asia, being enqui­red of News, answered, I stand here to sell Pictures not to tell News.

Neither follow thou the example of [Page 39] vain Travellers and Praters, who meer­ly out of vanity, and because they would say something, set such things as they have seen or heard upon the Ten­ter-hooks, stretching them most palpably beyond all credit, or coining incredible things out of their own Mint, that ne­ver before saw any light, and have no more affinity with Truth, than the opi­nion of Copernicus of the motion of the earth; or that Relation of our Country­man of the New World in the Moon, or of Domingo Gonzales, and his flight thi­ther upon the Wings of his Ganzas: I have read of a Knight (who shall be nameless) that rendred himself ridicu­lous by this Means; for using to make multiplying Glasses of what he in his long and great Travels had observed,▪ profes­sed that he once conversed with a Her­mite who was (in the opinion of all men) able to commute any Metal into Gold with a Stone he kept still hanging at his Girdle: and being asked of what kind it was, and not readily answering, the witty Lord of Saint Albans standing by said, he did verily believe it was a Whet-stone.

[Page 40] Make not Lies upon thy self as many do, boasting vain-gloriously of themselves, praising their knowledge and bragging of what great acts they have done, as if they only were wise, when alas it is well known they are otherwise; such men may fitly be compared to the Bell in the Clock-house at Westminster, which had this Inscription about it,

King Edward made me,
Thirty thousand and three,
Take me down and weigh me,
And more shall ye find me.

But when this Bell was taken down and weighed, this and two more, were found not to weigh twenty thousand: Such vain-glory as this being like a Win­dow Cushion specious without, but stuft with Hay within, or some such Trash; wherefore when a Souldier bragged of a Wound in his Forehead, Augustus ask­ed him, whether he did not get it, when he lookt back as he fled.

XXVI. Go not vauntingly and proudly as some, who go as if they were the only men of their Country, and speak [Page 41] and look very high and losty when they have scarce any home to go to, or any thing to maintain their Highness and Lostiness, imitating the Spaniards who are highly conceited of themselves, great Braggers, and extreamly proud even in the lowest ebb of Fortune, which appear­eth by the Tale of the poor Cobler on his death bed, who commanded his eldest Son coming to him for his last Blessing, to endeavour to retain the honour wor­thy so noble a Family; also a Woman of that Country attended on by three of her Brats, went a begging from door to door some French Merchants travelling that way, and pitying her case, offered her to take into their Service the big­ger of her Boys, but she proud, though poor, scorning (as she said) that any of her Lineage should endure an Apprenti­ship, returned this answer, that for ought she or any knew her Son (simple as he stood there) might live to be King of Spain; such Braggadocios as these, are like the Peacock, who though he be hatched on a Dunghill, yet is he the proudest of Birds: Nay some of these are so proud that they are ashamed of [Page 42] their Parents, resembling those Beasts who think themselves well hid, if they can but hide their Heads: never re­membring Sir Thomas Moor who being Lord Chancellor in his time, and conse­quently in an Office, next and immedi­ately to the King himself, and having his own Father living, and at that time but one of th [...] inferiour Judges of the Kings Bench (that then was) never went to Westminster Hall, to sit in the Chan­cery there, but he would go up to the Kings Bench, where his Father then sate, and there on his Knees would ask him blessing before a multitude of behol­ders; so little was he ashamed of his Father, though then in a far lower Con­dition than himself.

XXVII. Take heed of being too cere­monious and complemental, lest thou give others an occasion to think, that thou art full of Craft because thou art full of Courtesie; the bowings, bendings, and cringings of some resemble but such ge­stures as men use when they go about to catch [...]otterils: yet there are some Ce­re [...]es in giving men their due Titles of Honour, according to their several [Page 43] Degrees, either when we write to them, or talk with them, which we cannot omit, without the imputation of being ill-bred: thou must not write to a Knight or an Esquire thus, To Mr. B. G. Knight, or Esquire, but must call the one Right-Worshipful, the other Worshipful; nor must thou stile a Lord Right Worshipful, but Right Honourable, or a King or Prince Right Honourable, but in discourse thou shalt say to a King, and it please your Majesty, to a Prince, and it like your High­ness, to a Lord, and it like your Honour, to a Knight or an Esquire, and it like your Worship, to an Arch-Bishop, and it like your Grace, to a Bishop, and it please your Lord­ship, and the one thou must stile the most Reverend, the other the Right Reverend Father in God: give therefore to every one his due Title, which doth properly belong to him, for as we must not clip money nor embase it, so neither must we detract any thing from the honour of any person whatsoever: Neither must we give to Tradesmen and Mechanicks, or other persons of low Degre [...] such Titles as are too big for them to [...]ar; for that were to take a Gyants Cloaths, [Page 44] and put on upon the back of a Pigmie. (My Son) not to use Ceremonies, or Complements at all is to teach others not to use them again; and so diminisheth respect unto thy self; especially they must not be omitted to strangers, and formal Natures: but the labouring too much to express them, doth lose their grace, for that must be natural and un­affected, and the dwelling upon them, and exalting them above the Moon, is not only tedious, but will diminish thy faith and credit: for (as one says) Men had need to beware, how they be too per­fect in Complements; for be they never so sufficient otherwise, their Enviers will be sure to give them that attribute, to the disadvantage of their greater Virtues; Yet certainly, there is a kind of conveying of effectual and imprinting passages a­mongst Complements, which is of sin­gular use if a man can hit upon it. A­mongst thy Peers thou shalt be sure of familiarity, and therefore it is good a little to keep state, amongst thy inseri­ours thou shalt be sure of reverence, and therefore it is good a little to be fami­liar: too much of either will breed [Page 45] contempt: Briefly, let not thy behavi­our be like a Verse, wherein every syl­lable is measured, but like thine Appa­rel, not too straight, or Point Device, but free for Exercise and Motion: using Ceremonies and Complements as a Tay­lour doth Clothes, which he doth so cut and join together, until at length he maketh them fit for the body; so thou must cut off superfluous Ceremonies and Complements, and take only those that are decent for thee to use.

XXVIII. Take heed of slandering another, or poisoning his reputation, or reporting evil things of him, or of car­rying Tales and false accusations, this will make thee most odious, if thou dost use it, for those to whom thou dost report slanderous tales of others, will think that thou wilt report slanderous tales of them unto others, and so they will abhor thee.

XXIX. Oppose no man whilst he is talking or disputing, which many use to do; there shall not a word drop from anothers Tongue, but they presently will take it up, and oppose him, and contend with him, and say it is not true, [Page 46] or it is not so as he reports it, the man was not so and so, nor the things thus; truly it is a sign of a man not well edu­cated, nor well learned; for every one loves Victory and will hardly be over­come, as well in words as in deeds: be­sides it begets nothing but hatred and disdain: wherefore thou wert far better to yield to the opinion of others, espe­cially in things of small moment, and which perhaps do not concern thee: the victory in this kind is loss, for the Victor in any frivolous Question doth in the mean while oft lose a loving friend, as Ixion lost his Juno to grasp an empty Cloud.

XXX. If thou art desired at any time to dispute of any thing, in whosoevers company it be, thou shalt do it after a pleasing manner; thou must not desire the commendation of thy wit, in being able to hold all arguments, but of thy judgment, in discerning what is true; thou must not think it praise enough to know what might be said, but what should be thought: neither in disputing do thou strive so much as if thou wert more greedy of obtaining the Victory, [Page 47] than of discussing and sisting out the truth: neither suffer the Heat of disputa­tion to cool and extinguish that of cha­rity and love.

XXXI. Be not thou like those, who that they may shew themselves subtle, intelligent, and wise men, will always be giving of counsel unto others, always reproving of others, and always dispu­ting with others, and many times they come from words even to blows, and by this means render themselves odious unto all: by their counselling and re­buking of others, they shew that they account themselves wiser than other men, and so indeed such men ought tru­ly to be, for as he is a wise man that will take good counsel, so he is the wiser man that can give it.

XXXII. Resemble not those, who will pluck up Tares out of other mens fields, and all the while they will suffer their own to be overgrown with Bryars and Nettles: Many are most severe to o­thers in their slips and falls to which they themselves are most subject, as ap­pears by Johannes Cremensis a Priest Cardinal the Popes Legate, who in a [Page 48] Convocation at Westminster called in the year of our Lord 1126. inveighed most bitterly against the marriage of Priests, and was himself the next night taken in Bed with a common Harlot, for shame whereof, he got him away leaving all his business at six and seven, without taking leave of any.

XXXIII. Mock no body with their poverty, Lateness or Blindness, or any thing they cannot help; neither do thou imitate either Stammerers Crook backed or cromp-footed men, neither make a laughing-Stock of thy worst enemy, much Iess of thy best friend; thou oughtest not to laugh at one for the sake of re­creation and pleasure, nor at the other for the sake of contempt and disdain.

XXXIV. Thou must not do any thing that is base, unhandsom, or scur­rilous, to excite others to laughter, such as the writhing of the Eyes, Mouth, or Face, or the imitating of Fools in Stage-Plays, or Puppet-plays; for this is to make thy self a Fool, that wiser men may laugh at thee.

XXXV. Give no man the Lye, lest thou be answered with a Stab, or com­pelled [Page 49] to answer for it by a Duel; for few there are who can pass by such an Affront, as King Henry the Third did, who though Simon Mounford Earl of Lei­cester (who was of a very testy and cho­lerick Constitution) gave him the Lye to his Face, yet he passed it over with­out Revenge, shewing himself thereby to be a King over himself as well as over his Subjects.

XXXVI. It is not good to excuse a­nother, in that which thou dost know him to have deserved blame; and if he have erred, thou shalt make that error both yours, and when thou dost admo­nish him of it, or reprehend him for it, thou shalt say, We have greatly erred, we must remember how we did yester­day commit this or that error, although he alone be guilty of it, and not thou. By this civil and gentle Method thou shalt the easier mould him like soft wax to take the impressions of good counsel for the future: a wild Heifer is sooner to be tamed with gentle usage than rough handling.

XXXVII. As thou respectest thy cre­dit amongst men, be careful to perform [Page 50] thy promises, otherwise they will count thee but a Whiffling-fellow, a right honest man will be as much obliged by his word as by his Bond; nothing makes a man more like God than these two things, Holiness and Truth. To promise and not to perform is to do a Lye, and a true Gen­tleman must abhor as well to do a Lye as to speak one. It was a foul Character which one gave of the Neopolitans, who were wont to promise much, but to perform little, viz. that they had wi [...]emouths, but narrow hands; Promises are Debts, and Debts are Sins if we never pay them.

XXXVIII. Interrupt no one whilst he is talking, either by making of a noise, or by speaking out of thy turn, neither shalt thou cause his talk to be forsaken, or neglected, or slighted by the Hearers, either by shewing some new thing, or by calling aside the attention of those that are present any other way; but be attentive when others talk, lest thou shalt by and by be forced to ask what he said last: if he be slow in ex­pression, thou shalt not run before him, & minister words unto him, as if thou wert rich, and he poor; many take this in ill [Page 51] part, and especially those who think themselves better Masters of their Lan­guage than thy self. Take heed there­fore of taking a mans talk out of his mouth; for as it is a shame for a man to eat his own words, so it is shameful also for a man to eat another mans words out of his mouth: this is as offensive to some as it would be to clap thy hand upon their mouth, when they are about to gape.

XXXIX. There are some, who though they know least, yet they talk most; as the weakest Wheel in the Cart screeks loudest, and the emptiest Hogs­head gives the greatest sound. Wise men refrain from too much talk, fearing lest in talking much, they should erre much: Nature hath given us two Ears, two Eyes, and but one Tongue, to the end we should see and hear more than we speak: the Tongue is but a small Member, yet ma­ny times doth more hurt than the whole Body besides; and many a man doth with his Tongue cut his own Throat. Use therefore thine Ears and Eyes more than thy Tongue; those that are too full of words, render themselves odious; for it [Page 52] carries in it a certain kind of Pride in them, viz. that they esteem themselves more excellent, wiser men, and better learned than those that hear.

XL. In talking it is better to further another mans desire, than to hinder it; wherefore if another be about to tell a­ny thing, thou shalt not say, I know that already, and so by that means break off his Discourse; for though thou dost know it, yet perhaps the rest that are then present do not: neither shalt thou, if thou think any thing that is reported by another, to be a Lye, in any wise upbraid him with it, either in word or gesture, either by shaking thy head, or wresting aside thine eyes, or blaring out thy tongue, for this is next of kin to the giving a man the Lye.

XLI. And as immoderate Talk doth beget disdain, so too much Silence and Reservation is odious, and by most men hated. Therefore as those who are wont to drink in their Feasts and Solemnities, an d make themselves merry, do remove those that do not, or will not comply and be merry with them, so those which are too silent and grave, no Company [Page 53] will love; for they seem to the rest to sit as Judges and Censurers of their words and actions: Compliance begets Compla­cency. Take therefore thy turn to speak as well as thy turn to hold thy peace.

XLII. In questioning much, thou shalt learn much, and content much, but espe­cially if thou apply thy questions to the skill of the persons, whom thou askest, for thou shalt give them occasion to please themselves in speaking, and thou thy self shalt continually gather know­ledge: but let not thy questions be trou­blesom, for that is fit for a Poser.

XLIII. Follow not the Example of those, who when all are ready to sit down at Table, the Meat being brought in, will seem to have forgotten to write something, and therefore call for a Pen and Ink, or run out to make water, de­siring the Company to stay for him but a Pissing while, which must needs give no small trouble or distaste to those who are sharp and hungry.

XLIV. Avoid all kind of Vice that may deform thee, and since thou art beautiful, do such things as become thy Beauty: let the Beauty of thy Mind, [Page 54] which consists in chusing Vertue, and a­voiding Vice, set forth that of thy whole Body, which consists in Favour, Colour, and in decent Gestures and Motions; Beau­ty when it is not joyned with Vertue, is like the Feathers of a Phoenix, placed on the Carcass of a Crow: and he or she who is fair without and foul within, may no more justly be thought or called Beautiful than a stinking Dunghil, be­cause it is covered with Snow.

XLV. When thou art to go to any place, run not, nor make too much haste, for that is not the part of a Gen­tleman, but of a Foot-man. It is obser­ved of the Lyon, which is the noblest Beast in the Forest or Desart, that he is never seen to run: as thou mayst know much of a mans disposition by his Coun­tenance or Meen, so also by his Gate; for thou mayst many times discover a totty Pate by the Legs that bear it. To walk with thy Nose erected, and thine Arms always a Kembow, like the Ears of a Pottage pot, will induce such as either meet or follow thee, to censure thee for a proud Coxcomb. If thou tread mincingly with thick and short steps, as if [Page 55] thou wert walking upon Eggs, they will be apt to believe that thou art a finical self conceited Fool. Let not thine Arms as theirs do that are sowing Corn, when thou goest, seem to walk as fast as thy Legs, for this will make them account thee for a Country-Clown; nor in thy going creep like a Snail, or jump like a Grashopper, or lift up thy feet too high like a blind Mill-horse, neither take wide steps as if thou wert measuring of Land, or straddle, lest thou make the Ladies suspect that thou art shot between wind and water; in fine, let thy manner of walking be grave, modest, and no way affected: for this is very decent and comely. My Son, these Animadversions which I have before mentioned, may seem to thee minute and trifling matters, yet I assure thee in our familiar Con­verse with men, like the filings of Gold, they have their weight and price as well as things of a greater Mass or Bulk; but to proceed in my advice.

XLVI. The next thing is I would not have thee force another man to drink more than he well can; for this is so far from using him with Civility, [Page 56] that it savours rather of such Barbarity, as the Dutch used at Amboyna against our English, whom by putting the brim of an Hat under their Chins, and pour­ing water continually upon it, they for­ced to drink till their Bellies were rea­dy to break, and their Eyes to start out of their Sculls. 'Tis the noblest Enter­tainment amongst sober and grave, wise and good men, to give every man his own freedom.

XLVII. When any Visitants of Qua­lity come to wait upon thee, withdraw not thy self from their Society, but with the greatest Civilities entertain them, and let them have all the freedom and the best Accommodations thy House will af­ford; yet when the Bottles like Hand-Granado's fly about, reserve to thy self thine own liberty: so shalt thou the lon­ger enjoy thy Estate, because thy Tem­perance and Sobriety will prolong thy days: remember that thou art the Ma­ster of the House, and not mine Host, to drink with all comers as he doth.

XLVIII. Take great care for the preservation of thy good Name; for as thy Garment after it hath been once rent [Page 57] and torn is like so still more to be by every Nail and Tenterhook thou comest near, so will it fare with thy good Name, if it be once tainted with just reproach; nothing is more hardly to be found again, if once 'tis lost, than a mans good name or reputation: which one prettily expresseth thus, by this Apologue, it happened that upon a time, Fire, Water, and Reputation went to travel together, but before they set forth they consider­ed (that if they lost one another) how they might meet again; Fire said, where you see smoak there you shall find me; Water said, where you see Flags grow­ing in Moorish grounds, there you shall find me; but Reputation said, take heed how you lose me, for if you do, you will run a great hazard never to meet with me again.

XLIX. To the end therefore that thou mayest keep thy good Name, a­bandon the society of those, which are noted for evil living and lewd behavi­our; for by holding familiarity with such men, thou wilt incur two evils, for either thou shalt be thought such a one thy self, or in a little time shalt really [Page 58] be so, for it is commonly seen, that a man contracts a tincture upon himself, sutable to the conditions of those per­sons with whom he doth familiarly con­verse, as those that accompany a Collier shall be black, and those who live with a Miller shall be white; it may be said of frequenting ill company, as they were wont to say in a common Proverb here in England of going to Rome, He that goes to Rome once, seeth a wicked man; he that goes twice, learneth to know him; but he that goes thrice thither, brings him home with him; so he that frequenteth wicked company, the first time that he comes amongst them, he sees their courses; the second time he learns them; and the third time he com­monly brings them home with him. Com­pany is good, if it be good company, he that keeps company with lewd and infamous persons, shall be thought a Bird of the same Feather. It was Sene­ca's observation upon Canopus a Town in Aegypt so branded in old time for va­riety of all kinds of beastliness and luxu­ry, that he who avoided the vitiousness and debauchery of it could not escape [Page 59] the infamy, the very place administring matter of suspicion: Beware of these three Bs

  • Back.
  • Belly.
  • Building.

L. In reference to the first B the Back, take heed how thou consumest thy E­state by thy prodigious Bravery, some men have been so vain, as to make their Garments of a Lordship, and have lined them with their Farms, and laced them with all the Gold and Silver which their friends left them; the Barks of such vain Fools, like that of the Cinamon-Tree, are more worth than their Truncks: while their variety and several changes of Apparel cover a thread bare Purse.

LI. Next, in reference to the Belly, which is the second B, take heed thou be not like the Epicures and Belly-Gods, Velvet-mouth'd and sweet-tooth'd, who are not content with the choicest Viands, unless their very sauce be sauced too; and think they shall be starved, unless the third course be brought to Table, and the Sweet-meats after that: how [Page 60] many by such luxuries have drawn at length their goods through their guts. Such men like Cleopatra (who drinking a health to her Antony, swallowed a Pearl dissolved in Vinegar worth many millions) gulch down their Estates by gulps, till in the end they come to be glad of a dry Crust; and in conclusion, by keeping too great a House, they keep no House to cover their heads; and their sat Revenues like their rost­meat drips all away: the Purses of such Prodigals may be said to be poor by their great goings out, while their Bellies may be said to be rich by their great com­ings in.

LII. Lastly, in reference to Building, which is the third B, take heed thou in­gage not too far in it, for this will pick a mans Purse, as it did the foolish Buil­ders in the Gospel, who began to build but could not make an end; and leave their houses desolate, as the slothful mans Vineyard, described thus by Solomon, Lo it was all grown over with thorns, and Nettles had covered the face thereof, and the stone walls thereof were broken down. Or if they be resident on their houses, [Page 61] it necessitates them to keep a Table, which will starve twenty tall men, be­sides many a Mouse: the House being the bigger for the smallness of the Kitchin. They can keep but few fires in many Chimnies, the smoak comes all out of one hole only: and though a man may see them a far off, yet he cannot smell them nigh at hand; Bread and Beef are turned into stones; the stately roof, the costly pavement, and the curious work­manship, hath pined away hospitality, and brought her into a consumption, not to be recovered: Therefore, I advise thee in thy dyet, not to be too curious, nor yet too coorse; in thy attire not to be too costly nor yet too clownish; and finally as for thy buildings, let them be useful and commodious, not vain and over sumptuous; it was a severe but just scoff which the Lord Treasurer Burleigh past upon a Knight, that shall not be named, who having built a very stately fabrick, to the great diminution of his estate and revenue, was yet ambitious to entertain the Queen at his fine house; and to that purpose new painted his [Page 62] Gates, with his Coat of Arms and his Motto in great golden Letters, thus

ōia Vanitas.

The Lord Treasurer offering to read it, desired to know of the Knight, what he meant by ōia, who told him, it stood by contraction for omnia; whereupon the Lord Treasurer replied, truly Sir I very much wonder that having made your omnia so little as you have, you not­withstanding make your Vanitas so large. Therefore (the premises considered) content thy self (my Son) with that House I shall leave thee, without any alteration, unless it be for thy conveni­ence. The Spaniards think that they cannot curse a man worse, than to say the Plague of Building light upon thee; and we have here at home an English Pro­verb, That he who often doth dip his fin­gers in Mortar will lose his Nails.

LIII. There is a fourth thing that is as great a waster, if not a greater, of a mans Estate, than any of those three things we last spake of, and that is Who­ring; this hath undone many; the Har­lot [Page 63] is an Horseleech, which if thou hast Gold or Silver about thee, will never out of thy bosom, till that be out of thy Purse; and hath brought thy hundred to six, as the Ʋsurer adds six to his hun­dred. Nor will she bereave thee of thy goods only, but of thy good Name also; a bad report is ever the Whore­masters portion, and even whilst he lives he may be Administrator to his own good Name, for that dyes before him, and stinks above ground; yea his reproach is such, as shall not only out-live Him­self but his Posterity likewise: for it shall never be put out, the Town and Coun­try shall ring of his baseness and disho­nesty with the accent of shame.

And as Harlots will bereave a man of his goods and good name, so will they shorten his days, as (according to the observation of Herbalists) those Plants dye soonest which run most into seed: and so likewise the Naturalists have observ­ed, that the salacious Sparrows of all Birds are shortest lived, by reason of their immoderate and frequent copula­tion: and assuredly it was not without a Mystery, that (as Plutarch informs us [Page 64] in his 23. Rom. Quaest.) the things be­longing to Funerals were ordered by the Roman Magistrates, to be sold in the Temple of Venus. Wherefore as the crasie Emperour Adrian said once inter turbam Medicorum pereo, amongst many Physitians I perish, so may many a Gallant say of himself, by accompanying my self with many Strumpets I have ruined my self. For such unclean Beasts, like Mur­rain Cattle, infect those that herd with them, with such foul diseases as will stick by them, when their best friends give them over; their very Hairs ha­ving the falling-sickness, and whereas other men lose their lives, these cast them away; not so much in hatred to them­selves, as love to their Mistresses. I have read that Jovanni Zecca the fa­mous Bolognian Physician, openly pro­fessed by his Bills to give a certain An­tidote against taking of the French Pox, and when multitudes flockt to him, for his Medecine (believing that it consist­ed of Pills, Potions, Diet▪drinks, Diapho­reticks, Salivations, Oils, Plaisters, Ele­ctuaries, Powders, and other such me­dicinal ingredients) he only gave them [Page 65] the Picture of a Gallant drawn to the life, with his Nose eaten off, telling them, that the way how to use this Receipt, was, that just as they were about to lye with a lascivious Woman, they should take this Picture out of their bosoms, and seriously view and consider it, and if this did not preserve them from taking that foul Disease, he believed nothing would do it: how much more may I hope, that exposing to thy view the shame and deadliness of this sin, causing the loss of the Soul, which is more preci­ous than that of the Nose, to make thee loath and abhor those shameful and per­nicious courses, and dead all carnal de­sires in thee of eating those dainty Bits, which how savoury soever they seem in the chewing, are so mortiserous when swallowed down.

For this sin of Carnality not only ru­ines a mans Estate, or impairs his health, but also like a Cancer eats into the very Soul; for Harlots are the high-way to the Devil, when a man looks upon them with desire, he begins his Journey, when he sits toying and pratling with them, he mends his pace, and when he [Page 66] lies with them, his Journey is at an end.

Since therefore the exercise of Vene­ry is the high way to Beggary, to the losing of thy Credit and Reputation, to he shortning of thy life here, and the eternal loss of it hereafter, avoid it care­fully. It is very true what Aristotle ob­serves, [...] that the concupiscence of the flesh is less boundless than the unruly Sea: one Woman is e­nough for a mans Love, two too much for his Estate, three too few for his Lust. To avoid therefore the Temptations of the Flesh, I counsel thee not to frequent the Company of handsom, but immodest Women; Platonick Love is but a meer Chimaera: if a man sit down and say Grace to it, he will soon fall to the Flesh that is set before him: to rely then up­on the strength of thine own Chastity is more rash than wise, and therefore if thou makest profession of not staining thy Re­putation with the spots of Lasciviousness, thou must shun all those that may entice or allure thee thereunto. For as one in­geniously speaks, 'Tis not only a great piece of folly, but an infinite rashness, to [Page 67] make Gun-powder in a Smiths Shop, and hope to make people believe that there is no danger in it. In the next place.

LIV. If thou desire to be rich, and continue so, shun high Play; the way to keep what is thine own, is not to covet what is another mans. The common Gamester, who is never well at ease any longer than he is shuffling a Pack of Cards, will at last come to shuffle for his living; and the Dice he delights in will in the end waste his Estate to the very bones; for the Palsie (I mean the shaking of his Elbow) will be his overthrow: and when he hath played away his Patrimony he may curse the Bones, as well as the Whore-master crys out upon the Flesh. But some will say they pick out a pret­ty living by Play, indeed they cannot use a fitter term; for as Vultures, they pick and prey upon others: But let them cast up their account, and in the end they shall find, that they put their Win­nings in a broken Bag. Make not an Occupation of Play and Pastime, and though thou mayst sometimes recreate thy self (for a Bow too much bended may break) yet make not an hahit o [Page 68] using generous Delights, much less of bass ones. When thou art playing, look not pale for fear to lose, nor be transported with desire to win, lest thou fret, and sume, and disquiet thy self, and so at once lose thy patience together with thy Money. Therefore assure thy self, that the best Cast at Dice is to cast them quite away: For he that lays his Estate upon the Eyes of the Dice, will leave a small Estate for his own eyes to look upon in the end.

LV. Beware of Flatterers, those that will commend in thee qualities which thou hast not, or too much extol those thou hast; and will make thee believe, thou dost not know thy own Worth, and bless themselves with both their hands, if any thing proceed from thee worthy but meer commendation: thou must not give ear to these Claw-backs: but stop their passage, and bend thy Brows upon excessive praise; never courting it otherwise, than as it follows upon just and apparent Merit: neither let the praises of others, no not of good men, be a Syrup to Insolency, but a Whet­stone to set an edge upon thy good a­ctions, [Page 69] that if it be not so as is report­ed, yet thou wilt have it so, because men report it. Neither let it be Musick in thine Ears to hear Flatterers commend thee, but open thy mouth and reprove these kind of persons; for some of them level at their own profit, their Art is no­thing but delightful Cosenage: the Fox in the Fable commended the Crow for his sweet Notes, to see if he could make him open his mouth, and let fall his Provant. These men will spend their Tongues to maintain their Teeth, they are Moths, which will eat out a liberal mans Coat, Vines, which will cling to the stalks, not for any true love to them, but for their own sustentation and support; they fol­low not thee, but thy Fortunes, and will not leave thee till they wear thee Thred­bare: Therefore Antisthenes was wont to say, It were better for a man to fall a­mong Ravens than among Flatterers; for Ravens will eat none but the dead, but these will devour a man while he is alive. Again, some of them intend mischief, they flatter thee, that they may circum­vent thee, and the more easily effect their malicious projects; they are like the [Page 70] Bees sting, which pricketh deepest when it is fullest of Honey. Mark how the But­cher claweth the Ox, when he means to knock him on the head, how the Basilisk poysons those on whom he seems to cast an eye of regard, how the Crocodile in­tends to destroy those over whom she weeps and counterfeits compassion, and how the Syrens sing when they intend the Mariners shipwrack: and by these Instances, guard thy self from all such as claw and flatter others; their words being as soft as oyl, but are indeed very Swords. These are those miry Dogs that make a man dirty by their sawning upon him. This foul Hypocrisie, Court Holy Water, dishonest Civility, and base Merchandise of Praises and Commenda­tions is nothing else but gilded Treason, carrying thee up, as the Devil did our Saviour, to the top of a Pinnacle only to throw thee down headlong to break thy Neck It was an excellent Answer (and if we duly consider the weightiness of it, never a whit the more to be despised, because Lycosthenes reports it) which Diogenes gave to his Question, who asked him, What Beast did bite the sorest, [Page 71] that of wild beasts it was the Back▪biter, of tame beasts it was the Flatterer. By such Parasites (my Son) many young Gen­tlemen are drawn into Debauchery either by Wine or Women, either to haunt the Taverns, Inns, and Alehouses, or else the Stews and Brothel-houses, and to marry before they are wise. It is said of the Bear, that she licks her Cubs into form, but these by licking thee with a glozing Tongue (if thou take not the more heedful care) will utterly spoil and de­sorm thee.

LVI. Next to the tame Beast the Flat­terer, beware of the wild one the Backbi­ter; but because thou canst not hinder him from speaking ill of thee, for his Tongue like a Mill-Clack will stil be wag­ing, that he may grind to powder thy good Name, learn therefore to make this good use of his Clack as to make thy bread by it; I mean to live so, that no credit shall be given to the slandering of his lips. Let thy Conversation be blameless and inno­cent, so shalt thou gag the Teeth of Ma­lice it self, that it shall not be able to bite thee: and the consciousness of thine integrity will make thee to despise their [Page 72] Calumnies, and to value them no more than a generous Lyon doth the barking of a whifling Cur. Neither wilt thou any more be disturbed at them, than the Moon or the Sun is ever a whit the more troubled or molested at the noise of an ill favoured Ass, when he erects his Nose against the Clouds, and brays against the bright firmament of Heaven. Indeed it is the part of a silly Mouse, to bite eve­ry one, that does but touch him: they may cast a mist upon thy splendour, they cannot extinguish it, as the clouds that rise from Moors and Fens may take from the Sun the aspect of mens eyes, but they cannot deprive it of its own proper light: and at length they all vanish a­way. And truly the best way to stop a lying slaunderous mouth, is to take no notice at all of such false reports as are cast upon thee; if thou wilt Father another mans Bastard, it must pass for thine own Child. Wherefore please not thine Enemies so much, as to make shew thou dost apprehend, that they have wronged thee; omnis injuria est in sen­su patientis. If malice shall see it hath wrought thy vexation, and made thee [Page 73] hurt thy self, it hath that it wished for: cast therefore a smiling contempt upon a false report, let it meet thee as if a Glass did encounter a Rock. Contempt puts ill will out of countenance, makes it withdraw it self, and quickly find its own Grave; whereas to take it to heart is to owne the scandal, and crown the revenge of the Author. And thus the Back-biter by corroding thy reputation, shall reap no better advantage than the Serpent in the Fable did, who wore a­way his Teeth by gnawing the File. However be sure to give no just occa­sion to ill reports of thee, and then thy credit will be impregnable. The Forest in that other Apologue, had never need­ed to have complained how she was cut and hackled, had she not lent out of her own self the wood that made the Helve to the Hatchet; nor had the Eagle felt the shaft sticking at her heart, had she not afforded some of her own Plumes to the feathering of it: Diamonds are not to be cut▪ engraved, or pierced without some of their own powder concur to the work of the Engraver.

As Arrows or Bullets that are shot in­to [Page 74] the air higher than our sight, yet touch not Heaven, and as they that over­throw Temples do not any way hurt the Godhead to whom they are consecrated; so injuries affixed to a wise man return without effect; and are to him but as Cold or Heat, Rain or Hail, the weather of the world. 'Tis Womanish not to en­dure evil speaking, and therefore King David when he reprehended Abishai who would have had him been revenged on Shimei for his cursing, said, What have I to do with you O ye Sons of Zerviah: he calls them from the Mother not the Father, to shew, that they had too much of the Mother in them who were too im­patient of evil speeches.

LVII. Shun slothfulness and idleness, man is born to labour; therefore nulla dies sine lineâ, follow thy Books, look to thy Grounds, yoke thine Oxen, follow the Plough, graft thy Trees, behold thy Cattel, and devise with thy self, how the increase of them may increase thy profit; in Autumn pull thine Apples, in Summer reap thy Harvest, in the Spring trim thy Gardens, in Winter thy Woods: and if thou art desirous of profit, praise, [Page 75] Pleasure, or knowledge take pains, stu­dy, leave nothing unattempted. No Garland is given to the Sluggard, thou canst not enter into the Temple of Glory and Honour, but through the Temple of Virtue and Labour: Sloth loseth time, dulleth the understanding, nourisheth humours, choketh the brain, and hin­ders thrift; exercise burnisheth the mind, without which it will eat it self out by its own rust; and if the proud man be the Devils Chair of State, the idle man is his Cushion: and as the Ox that will not plough is brought to the slaughter-house, so lazy unprofitableness must look for its slaughter-house in the other world, if it take not a Newgate in the way here.

LVIII. Above all things (my Son) make good use of thy Time, it is a ve­ry slippery thing, and like an handful of fine Sand will slip through thy Fingers, though thou grasp it never so fast: and whereas a man may have many of the things of this world at once, 'tis certain that he can have but one Time, and that's the present, the Time past is no longer thine, and the Time to come may [Page 76] never be thine, therefore make the best advantages that thou canst of the present moment of Time for that only is thine; the Emblem will teach thee that Time is bald behind, there's no hold fast there, catch it therefore by the Forelock, it is like a Bird let fly at large out of the hand which returns not, or as a word babbled out which cannot be recalled: O what would the prodigal squanderers, and the abusive Mispenders of their pre­tious Time, give, when the final judg­ment of eternal Death is passed upon them, for some few grains of that Sand, which seemed too many whilst they were pas­sing through their Hour-glasses. Before Time therefore deliver thee up to Eter­nity, imitate him who having a very short Lease-hold, without impeachment of waste, takes all the advantage he can before the approaching Expiration of it; he rips up the ground, eats up the grass; sells down the Timber, cuts down the Coppices: do thou the like, sithence thy Time in this world is short, nay and what is more uncertain, match the velocity of it, with thy celerity in making all the be­neficial uses of it, for (as St. Augustine [Page 77] speaks elegantly) he only may be said to be Master of Time, who in the swift­est current of it lays such foundations as are not transitory. Thus as Time flyes over thy head, thou mayest plume her of some of her Feathers, though thou canst not stop her flight: and though thou canst not recall Time past, yet thou may­est redeem it, and therefore to that end let me once more put thee in mind to ponder seriously the shortness, slipperi­ness, and uncertainty of Time, and with­all the irrecoverableness of it, when thou hast let it pass: that thou mayest endea­vour to make the best use of it, and not to slip occasion, it is a good admonition which Seneca gave to the Loiterer, Neg­lecter, and Mispender of his precious Time, Begin not then to live, when life begins to leave thee: Or rather bear in thy mind the saying of that Holy man who (as I have read) never heard the Clock strike, but he would say, now I have one hour less to live in, and one hour more to give an account for.

LIX. Go to Bed with the Lamb and rise with the Lark; late watching in the Night breedeth ill humours in the body, [Page 78] and long sleeping in the morning ungodli­ness in the mind: to rise betimes will make a man rich, healthy, and holy: Astronomers observe that the most pro­pitious Planets of all the seven Sol and Mercury leave us at night, and return to shine upon us in the morning, which my­stically intimates unto us that then our wits and knowledge are quickest and clear­est, and that it is the fittest Time for the dispatch of all business, and humane Af­fairs; which Tusser in his Book of good Husbandry thus plainly expresseth,

Some work in the morning may trimly be done,
That all the day after may hardly be won.

Mounsieur Villeroy the great French Statesman wished his Son, alway to di­spatch business in the morning, as if he were sure to lose his opportunity in the Afternoon. Apollonius coming very ear­ly in the morning, to Vespasians Gate, and finding him stirring, conjectured thereupon that he was worthy to com­mand an Empire, and said unto one who [Page 79] accompanied him, undoubtedly this man will be an Emperour, he is so early a stir­rer: To be brief, imitate rather Hercu­les in Zenophon, than Bonacius in Poggius; before the one contended Dame Virtue, and Dame Pleasure, both seeking to seize upon his will, but at last after some wa­vering and debate, he submitted unto Vir­tue and rejected Pleasure: before Bona­cius in the shape likewise of women, came Carefulness and Slothfulness, the former bade him to rise out of his lazy Den, and betake himself to some work; but Dame Slothfulness advised him to lye still at his ease, and to beware of the mornings cold, and so while they were contending, he like a slothful Ideot re­mained neutral, continually looking when they would agree, until at length the greater part of the day was overpast to his loss and damage. 'Tis a true saying, that Beds make Beggars; I would not have thee therefore follow the com­mon custom of many of our Gentry, who lye in Bed, and rise not, till their meat be ready to be set on the Table, to which after they are tirck'd and trim­méd, have powdred and kembed their [Page 80] Perruques, have patched their Faces, and set themselves by their Looking-glasses for all day, sit down to eat and drink, and then rise up to play, or take a Coach to see a Comedy or Tragedy acted, and when that is done, to visit in a Masque­rado their Mistresses, by which they (as if God had put them into the World as he hath put the Leviathan into the Sea, only to take their pastime therein) idly, vainly, and unprofitably spend their pre­tious time, for which they can neither give a good account to God or them­selves.

LX. Hate Wastfulness and Ʋnthristi­ness, for they will bring thee into neces­sity, and then thou must live like a Dron̄e, if not by wicked shifting, yet by base beggary. Thrist is a great Vertue, ha­ving diligence to provide things necessary truly and justly, and care to save and keep when gotten: yet be thristy without filthy niggardness and unmercifulness, but give thy Need, thine Honour, thy Friend, the Church, and the Poor their dues; ne­ver exceed thy Income, nay I would not have thee live up to the height of it, 'tis an old Saw.

[Page 81]
If Youth did know what Age would crave,
Many a Penny he would save.

By no means run in debt, neither do thou break any thing of thy Stock; 'tis related of the Stone Tirrhenus, how that being whole, it swimmeth, but never so little diminished, it sinketh to the bottom; so he who keeps his stock full is ever afloat, but wasting of his store, by degrees becometh Bankrupt; neither let thy libe­rality exceed thine ability; he that gi­veth beyond his power is prodigal, he that giveth in measure is liberal, he that giveth nothing at all is a Niggard. Fol­low the example of those young Gentle­men, who coming to their Wealth before they come to their Wits, run beyond the Constable, and live without compass, ma­king their own Hands their Executors, their own Eyes their Overseers, and all their Purchases with Dedimus and Con­cessimus.

LXI. Enter not into Bonds, no not for thy best Friends. King Solomon, who in his time was the wisest man in the World, tells us, that he that hateth sureti­ship [Page 82] is sure. He that obliges himself to pay another mans Debt, takes the Shack­les from his Feet, and claps them on up­on his own; it is as rare to see a rich Surety as a black Swan: and he that endeth to all that will borrow, sheweth great good will, but little wit. If thou lend a round Sum of Money be sure to have either a Lease or a Mortgage of Land made over, or two or three good Sure­ties bound to thee for it: either of these, and especially the two first are good Ga­ges to borrow by.

LXII. Entertain such men as shall be trusty; for if thou keep a Wolf within thy doors to do mischief, or a Fox to work craft and subtilty, thou shalt find it as perillous, as if in thy Barn thou shouldst maintain Rats, and in thy Ground Moles.

Let thy Maidens be such as seem rea­dier to take pains than follow pleasure, willinger to dress up their House than their heads, not so fine-fingered as to call for a Lute, when they should use a Di­staff, not so dainty-mouth'd as that their silken Throats should swallow no Pack­thread.

[Page 83] Chuse such Servants as shall be wil­ling to learn whatsoever is necessary, faithful in performing whatsoever is their duty, careful in seeking all honest means to profit thee, and silent in Tongue, in not revealing abroad what thou dost at home, and in not replying to, or con­tradicting of what thou commandest them to do; never endure those that will answer again, when they are reproved by thee for the neglect of their Duty; espe­cially take care that they be seasoned with the fear of God. He that enter­tains one addicted to Lyes, entertains a Thief; and he that admits a common Swearer or a debauch'd person into the bowels of his Family, admits a Jonah that may sink his Ship.

Make not thy Servants too familiar with thee, for that will in the end bring thee into contempt with them; it hath been ever observed, that gentle and cle­ment Princes have more rebellious Sub­jects than those that are rough and fierce, that loving and indulgent Parents more ungracious Children than those who are rigid and austere, and that soft and mild Masters more disobedient Servants than [Page 84] those that are harsh and severe.

Amongst other things (my Son) if thou hast a regard to Thrift, keep no more Cats than will kill Mice; my meaning is, retain not more Servants in thy Family than are for thy profit or advantage; a long Retinue may make thy State the greater, but it will make thine Estate the less; the length of the Peacocks Train makes his Wings the shorter.

LXIII. There are some that will not tap their Beer till it be sowre, nor cut their Bread and Cheese till it be mouldy, or their Meat till it be soisty; some again will cobble their Shoos, till, like Theseus his Ship, none of the first Materials of them remain; some will drive into them so many Hob-nails and Sparabils, as they may be rather said to be-shod like Hor­ses than shooed like Men; some will burn only Rush or Pissing Candles, and all this but to eke out their Store, and others ra­ther than they will be at the Charge of a Quarrel or Pane of Glass, will stop the hole in their Windows with an old Stoc­kin or a Wad of Straw; nay I have heard of an old Woman, who would commonly sit bare-breech'd to save her [Page 85] Petticoats: all which are to be abhorred, because they do not so much express any good Husbandry and Thrift as base Sordid­ness and Niggardize. These and the like petty Arts leave to those covetous Misers, who heap up Riches for they know not whom.

LXIV. Be not hasty to marry, it is better to have one Plow going than two Cradles, and more profit to have a Barn filled than a Bed. We are told in holy Writ, that it is better not to marry, but withal we are told there also, that it is better to marry than to burn. It is not unlikely that those persons that live and dye pure and unspotted Virgins, shall sit in Heaven next to the Martyrs, and wear Crowns as they do, whilst such as are mar­ried and live Chastly in that state and condition of life, shall wear Coronets on­ly; but a pure and unspotted Virginity is very rarely attained among Men and Women, whose half of themselves con­sists of flesh and blood; and therefore if thou canst not live chastly in a single life make use of the remedy, which God hath prescribed thee, and that is Mar­riage, which is an honourable estate [Page 86] amongst all men: but yet if thou must needs marry, be sure to chuse such a Wife as may bring with her such advantages to thee, as may at least counter-ballance all the inconveniences of a married life; for many leap▪ like the Mouse in the Fa­ble, into the Brass-pan, without consi­dering at all such inconveniences, and afterwards would fain leap out again, but cannot. And truly (my Son) if a man well ponder before-hand the continual cares and fears, and the frequent jars and discontents, which Man and Wife suffer under, he will discover, that Marriage, like the Medicine prescribed for the dis­ease commonly called the Squinzy, hath as much Album Graecum as Honey in it: and thus thou mayst perceive my great love to thee, in preferring the peace and quietness of thy life before the propaga­ting of my Name and Posterity; never­theless in this Matter I leave thee to thine own liberty and discretion.

But because by thy sanguine and de­bonaire Complexion I forbode, that thine inclinations will tend to a married life, I would have thee observe these Instru­ctions in the choice of her whom thou [Page 87] art minded to make thy Bed-fellow. Chuse such a one as may be more com­mended for her Vertues than her Beauty; a good Huswife is a great Patrimony, and she is most honourable who is most chast. In thy choice and election mark these four, Ps

  • Piety,
  • Parentage,
  • Proportion,
  • Portion.

The first P. is Piety: see in the first place that she be piously brought up in the fear of God, well educated, of civil and modest Deportment and Behaviour, avoid her that is fantastical, for she will still be hurry­ing thee up to London; or that is ambiti­ous, to be taken for a Wit, for it is more than an even lay but she will attempt to make thee a Fool; nor chuse her the rather, because like a pretty Parakeeto, she can speak a little French or Italian, for one Tongue is enough in conscience for a Woman, or because she is Poeti­cally given, and can make a good Verse, for it would be much better that she were able to make thee a good Pudding. [Page 88] But note this, that though I would have her whom thou wouldst mate with to be pious, I would not have her to be pre­cise; for it is commonly found, that those Women are most Heart hollow, who are most Lip-holy, and such a one will nibble thine Estate worse than the Rats will thy Holland or thy Chedder Cheese, by stealing out of it large con­tributions to the Bartholomew Martyrs.

The second P. is Parentage: see that she come of good and honest Parentage, and such as are of a good Repute in their Country; a good Wise can hardly be chosen out of a wicked and irreli­gious Family; a man cannot expect to gather Grapes from Thorns, or Figs from Thistles.: If the Spring-head be poysoned, so will the Streams; it is a Rabbinical Proverb, Take not a Wise out of that Fa­mily wherein there is a Publican, for such are all Publicans. If thou desirest to be the Sire of an happy Son, or the Father of a fortunate Child, abstain from those Women that are either base of Birth, or bare of Honesty.

The third P. to be observed in the chusing of a Wife, is Proportion; let the [Page 89] Woman thou shalt pitch upon be built up with comely parts and Features. Love ever first enters in at the Eye, and to keep it warm and alive, it is fit that Member should be pleased. When one asked a very homely Woman her name, she told him it was Rebecca, upon which he replied, I thought your name had been Asarabecca, for I can hardly behold you without ridding of my stomach: have a care therefore, notwithstanding all other advantages, that thou match not with such a one as will sooner make thee Stomach-sick than Love-sick; and be not of Nat. Feeld, the Players humour, who vowed, that if the old Woman that crawled upon her tail at Holborn-Bridge, had a thousand pound for her Portion, he would marry her and adorn her Breech with a French Velvet Hood. Neither for gain or lucre sake marry some rich but very old Widow, lest when she kisses thee she drop her Teeth (if she have any) into thy mouth; but perhaps thou mayst hope that thou shalt outlive her, but this is just as if a man should hang himself, in hope that some body or other may come before he be dead, and cut the Rope.

[Page 90] The fourth and last P. is Portion, and this thou must look after, that in tying thy self fast, thou dost not undo thy self; in thy Match thou must respect the mending of thine Estate and Fortunes; other things may help and be an Appen­dix, but 'tis Wealth must be the Sub­stance, without which never expect to eat thy Bread without Gravel in it, and if Grist be wanting, the Mill stones will quickly set the Mill on fire. When thou art married, if thy Wife in the first month chide and chafe, thou must hear without reply, and endure with patience; for they that cannot suffer the wranglings of young married Women, are not unlike to those, that tasting the Grape to be sowre before it be ripe, leave to gather it, when it is; or to those, who being stung with the Bee forsake the Honey; or else to those, who will pull off the Heads of their Poultry, because they will some­times cackle; though for the sake of the Eggs they lay, they should (as Socrates did with his Zantippe) bear the more with them. Fair means will do more with crabbed Natures than force, as the Sun in the Fable, by fairly shining on [Page 91] the Traveller made him lay aside his Cloak, whereas the ruffling wind made him gird it the faster about him. In like manner, if the Husband thinks to make his Woman the more tractable, and to bow to him by force, he shall find her Joynts to be but the stiffer still; but mild words, gentle perswasions, good counsel, and fair intreaties, like Nerve Oyl, will supple them. Musical Instruments, the softlier they are touched, the sweeter they sound. A Wife, like a mettlesom Horse, will be stark mad, if reined in too hard, but with a gentle curb she will bear a white mouth. If a Husband will after an unmanly manner fight with his Wife, and beat her Ribs, if she have not the more Grace, 'tis the way to make her break his Forehead. And further I must tell thee, that the fallings out of Man and Wife be­twixt themselves, are like the breakings of each others bones, there is no rest or case till they be set and composed again. If the cross Husband wrest one way, and the cross-grain'd Wife another, they both together as it were twist a Rope to hang themselves. Indeed Marriage is either an Heaven or an Hell upon Earth; where [Page 92] there is Love and Ʋnity, there it is an Heaven; where Jars and Discontents, there it is an Hell. All therefore who desire in that estate and condition of life to make themselves happy, must mu­tually be good and kind to each other▪ for as a good Jack makes a good Jill, so a good Jill makes a good Jack.

Be not too imperious over thy Wise▪ for that will make her to hate thee; nei­ther be too fond and uxorious, for that will make her to disdain thee: let her neither be thy Slave nor thy Soveraign, neither tread her under thy foot, nor set her upon thy head. God made Woman at first of a Rib, which is placed be­tween both.

In the Government of thy Houshold use her hands as well as thine own eyes; for good Husbandry and Huswifry consists as well in setling of things, as in looking to them; if thou rule in the Hall or Par­lour, let her rule in the Kitchin and Bed-Chamber. To be short, let the Keys hang at her Girdle, but the Purse at thine own: so shalt thou know what thou dost spend, and how she can spare; yet do not penuriously keep her too bare of mo­ney, [Page 93] but let thy Hen peck at thy Barn-door, though thou set her not to pick at the whole heap.

Above all things when thou art mar­ried, avoid Jealousie; a mans mistrust that his Wife is dishonest, may but the sooner make her so: and truly it is ei­ther needless or bootless to do so; it is not the Italian Lock, nor the close Mew­ings of her up like a Haggard that will secure her Chastity, who is addicted to Wantonness; if Pasiphae cannot have the company of a man, she will be bull'd and admit a Bull; and an ugly Dwars, litt [...]e more than a Cubit high, if she cannot have an handsom proper man, shall serve the turn of the lascivious Queen (Quean I should have said) of whom the Poet Ariosto makes mention: For if a Woman be modest no gold will, like Danae, cor­rupt her; and if she be immodest, nor grief nor care will amend her. Jealousie is a fire to which every thing adds fuel: if a jealous mans Wife frown, he straight conjectures, either it is, because she hates him, or loves others better; if she smile, it is because she hath had success in her Love, or it is to entice another to love her; [Page 94] if she turns aside her head from any man, he thinks that she only dissembles; if she cast an eye upon him, he thinks she courts him, and then, like a man possest with a Frenzy, he stamps and stares, and tears his hair from his head, and crys out, that neither fire in the Straw, nor love in a Womans looks can be hid. Thus he watcheth over every gesture and be­haviour of his Consort, as a Cat watcheth over a M [...]use, and seeks for that he would not find; like him that goes to the House of Office in the dark feeling a­bout the Seat, for that which he is afraid to meet with.

LXV. Eat not thine own Heart, that is, do not vex thy self with thine own inward thoughts, neither lay the load of such things as grieve thee upon thine own self; fire pent in burns the more fu­riously, and Bottles too close cork't up, often fly all in pie es, by the strength of the Spirits with which they are filled; for as those Wounds are most dangerous that bleed inward, so are those griefs which are too closely concealed: How­ever keep thy mishaps secret from thine Enemy, that he may not rejoyce at them, [Page 95] but reveal them to thy sincere Friend, that he may pity, advise, and help thee, if he can, or at least may bear a part with thee: Burdens divided are easily born. Those that want true Friends, to whom they may open themselves, tell their minds, and impart their vexations and troubles, are strange Cannibals, for they eat their own hearts.

LXVI. Have therefore with Pylades an Orestes, with Damon a Pythias, some faith­ful Friend to whom thou maist impart thy griefs and joys, thy fears and hopes, thy suspicions and counsels, thy intentions and affairs, and whatsoever lyeth hard upon thy heart. Two fast Friends are like Mill-stones which are never singly made use of but by couples, and each standeth in need of the others help for the performance of the work whereunto they are ordained. Yet take good heed with whom thou dost shake hands and contract friendship; try the man thou meanest to trust, lest shining like the Carbuncle, as if he had fire, he be found when he is proved to be as cold as Ice. A wise Souldier will try the proof of his Armour before he gird it about him. Learn out therefore [Page 96] (before thou take a friend into thy bo­som) how he hath dealt with others with whom he hath contracted friendship; for look how he hath served them, so will he likewise deal with thee: and try him before thou hast need of him, so shalt thou find what his readiness will be, to serve thee when necessity requires his help. When thou hast gotten a true Friend, be sure to keep him, be faithful to him, and contented with him; it is not a Paradox to say, He that hath many Friends hath none; for true Friends are like Turtles, which go by pairs, not like Starlings, which fly in flocks.

LXVII. Keep thy Secrets, if they be of any great moment to thy self; but be sure, if thou impart them, let it be to none but thy faithful Friend; remem­ber that whatever three persons know, it commonly then ceaseth to be any lon­ger a Secret: imitate the Reservation of that wise Roman, who professed, that if he thought his Shirt did know his Se­crets, he would burn it. He that tells his Errand to every one he meets, is a babbling Fool; and he that discovers un­to others his intentions before-hand, [Page 97] courts his own disappointment: And as I would not have thee to discover thine own secrets, so neither would I have thee to be curious and inquisitive into the secrets of others; lest thou be put off with a slur, as the Country-man in Plu­tarch, put him off, who inquired what he carried so close in his Basket, saying; Friend, if you might know what it is, I should not carry it so close covered as it is. Or as that General slighted the curiosity of his Lieutenant General, who came to know when and whither they should march, saying, Sir, when the Trumpet sounds you shall know.

But above all, in this matter be cau­tious, that you trust not a Womans breast with such secrets as thou wouldst have no man know; for, like Sieves, they are rimarum plenae, and can hold nothing that is poured into them; and their mouths can no more hold long a secret, than they can a spoonful of scalding Custard. All that may be said, to excuse a mans folly in this particular is, that we may venture to tell them our secrets, because no wise man will imagine, that he may find them there reposited, unless it be by some [Page 98] very Fool. The Story of Papirius Pre­textatus will come in here very pat to our purpose, who being but a young Boy, went along with his Father into the Se­nate-house, where many weighty matters were debated, from whence when he came home, his Mother (being very curi­ous and inquisitive) took him aside pri­vately, and questioned him what was said and done there, the Youth, ultra aetatem sapiens, being wise and discreet beyond his years, to elude her curiosity, and to keep from her the Secrets of State, told her, that the Senate had concluded, that every man should have two Wives; upon this she gathered the Roman Matrons toge­ther, and told them what her Son had told her; who all unanimously went presently to the Senate, and petitioned them, that since they had decreed, that every man should have two Wives, that they would also make a second Decree, that every Woman should have two Husbands: the Senate greatly marvelled at this sudden coming of the Women and their words, till at length understanding how it was, they highly admired and commended the Boy for his wit and secrecy; and to [Page 99] honour him the more, admitted him (though but a Child) to be a Member of the House. It seems (though he was but a green Youth) that he had imbibed this Principle (though I believe it was not from his Mothers milk) that there is neither safety nor wisdom in it, for a man to intrust a Woman with those pri­vacies, which are of any great impor­tance, and require such secrecy, as is not to be found or expected amongst tatling Gossips.

LXVIII. Envy no mans Purse or Estate, because it is richer than thine; the envi­ous man doth murder himself; for envy consumeth the heart wherein it is nou­rished, as the Moth doth the Garment whereof and wherein it was bred. Not like the Maid Avicen speaks of, who feeding her self with poyson, was never­theless very healthful, but yet infected others with her venemous breath: But the envious man may be compared to the poysonous Amphisbaena, which instead of hurting others, bites and tears her self; who suffers his indignation at other mens good, like the Fox which the Lacedemo­nian Boy stole and hid under his Coat, [Page 100] to gnaw out his own bowels. But it is enough to discountenance this Vice, that in the Gospel the Devil himself is called the envious Man.

LXIX. As I would have thee shun Envy, so likewise be thou sure to avoid malice and hatred, he that hates another man is the Patient, he that is hated is the Agent, contrary to the sound of the words; for the Hater is in torment, the Hated in ease: so that nothing in this World is so much to be hated as hate it self.

LXX. Take heed of being vindica­tive; for this as an Imposthume breaking forth, commonly strangles and choaks a man with his own blood: the Bee might keep her sting still, and not live like a Drone, did she not in her anger imploy it to envenom the flesh of him that puts her from him. It is safer to forget an injury or smother it, than to go about to avenge it, if it were for nothing but this, yet this were punishment enough, that when thou goest about to avenge thy self upon any man, all shall be sure to be laid open in Choler that can be re­membered, and his Tongue shall cast all thy [Page 101] faults in thy teeth. If he were a Friend that offended thee (saith Seneca) he did that he meant not; if an Enemy, he did but what he well might be expected to have done. If a wise man wrong thee, endure him; if a Fool, forgive him. Be not so foolish as to waste time in the pursuit of an Ignis Fatuus, which burns only to light thee to some Bog or Preci­pice: yet because thou mayst say that forbearance will make men presumptuous, and a second wrong is provoked by di­gesting the first, therefore I answer, thou mayst revenge wrong, but not by vio­lence, but by Law.

LXXI. Yet avoid going to Law as much as possibly thou canst; for be thy Cause never so good, thou mayst never­theless not only fear the packing and embracing of the Jury, the suborning of false Witnesses, the bribing of the Judge, and those that are of Counsel with thee, but also the quickness of the Wit, the subtilty of the Rhetorick, and the volu­bility of the Tongue of those that are fee'd to plead against thee. There was a Lawyer that injuriously kept a poor mans Cow from him, wherefore he went [Page 102] immediately and complained to the King, who having heard his complaint, told him, that he would hear what the other could say to the matter, nay then, said the poor man, If you hear him speak, I shall surely lose my Cow; for he thought that the smooth Speeches and eloquent Rhetorick of his Adversary would effas­cinate the Kings ears, and lead him which way he pleased. To this our purpose, it is worthy the observation, which Socrates said before the Judges in his own Defence, touching his Accusers, My Lords (saith he) I know not how you have been affected with mine Accusers Elo­quence while you heard them speak; for my own part I assure you, that I whom it toucheth most, was almost drawn to be­lieve, that all they said, though against my self was true, when they scarcely uttered one word of truth.

Avoid therefore I say once more, the waging of Law, especially I would not have thee go to the Lawyer for every toy or trifle; for that will be to make him Rich, and thy self a Beggar. An ho­nest Atturney gave an intimate Friend of his that had commenced a Suit at Law [Page 103] against another, this counsel (and truly he deserved a good Fee for it) Make an end with the Lawyers, before they make an end of thee. The Courts of the Law (saith my Lord Verulam in his Essays) are like those Bramble-bushes, whereunto while the sheep fly for defence and succour, they are sure to lose part of their Fleeces. There is an old Story, that a blind man and a lame man went to travel together by the Sea side, the lime man who was car­ried on the blind mans shoulders espyed an Oyster, which he claimed because he espyed it, the other claimed his share, be­cause he carried him to the place where he found it, the case being doubtful, they referred it to the next man they met, who in the debating of the matter eat the Oyster, and gave them the shells. Thus it fareth with many who go to Law, the Lawyers eat the fish, and give them the shells, that is, they bleed their Purses, and that in a little time cures the heat of their contentions as Phlebotomy cures Fe­vers and Inflammations. Yet I would not have thee lose thy Right, nor suffer thy self to be fooled, wronged, and cheat­ed, nor to let every Carrion Crow ride [Page 104] upon thy back and pick out thine eyes: and to the end thou thy self mayst not run into the lapse of the Law, I advise thee to live honestly, to trespass no man wilfully, and to render every man his due carefully.

LXXII. It well becomes a Gentleman to make some inspection into the Laws of the Land, which I advise thee to do; that if thou bee'st commissionated to be in thy Country a Justice of the Peace, all thy wit to manage that Office may not lye only in the Skull of thy Clark: For as one of our modern Poets saith, It is the Clark many times that makes the Ju­stice of the Peace. Many without skill in this particular, have run into very dangerous Premunires; but besides this will make thee know, how to secure thy Estate against those who may endea­vour to pick a hole in it; He had need (we say) of a long Spoon that eats with the Devil. And yet further, this will discover to thee the knavery or honesty of thy Lawyer in the managery of thy Law-suits, in case thou be so unhappy as to be involved in [...]ny But I would not have thee to study the Quirks of the [Page 105] Law, for this may induce thee for thine advantage to be a Knave; unless thou study them meerly to secure and defend thy self from them. Briefly, study to at­tain so much knowledge in the Law as may sufficiently inform thee of thine own Right, but not so much as to make thee quarrelsom and contentious with thy Neigh­bour or Parson; for this were to put a Sword into a Mad-mans hand. It is great pity, that it is so true, which once I heard a wise man say, That a good Law­yer is very seldom a good Neighbour.

LXXIII. Avoid Duels; there are some whose fingers itch to be dipt in blood: and as among contentious men it is but a word and a writ, so among swag­gering Hectors it is but a word and a wound. But thou wilt say, I think it a stain to my Credit, and a disgrace to my Name, if I shall not answer him, who having abused me in words, hath sent me the length of his Sword, and from whom I have received a proud Challenge: to this I reply, Wilt thou shew such a base esteem of thy self, and set so low a rate on thy life, as to stake it for a Brawl and a few rash words of an Enemy, and [Page 106] yet wouldst be highly esteemed of o­thers? In such a case be not troubled with a frivolous report of Dishonour, rather be prodigal of thy Reputation than thy life; run not wilfully into an Acel­dama, into the Grave, into Hell to be counted valorous, care not so much for the shame of the world as the danger of thy body and soul. Men of great Va­lour have rejected Challenges, which have proceeded from those who have had more heart than brain, more head than wit, and that without any blemish at all to their Credit. When Anthony challen­ged Augustus, he answered, That if An­thony were weary of life, there were ways enough to death besides Duelling. But say, some will call thee a Coward, yet fear not shame so much as sin: thou hast but one body, do not adventure it upon the Sword of an Enemy, but one Soul, do not adventure it upon the Sword of God. Love a good Name, but yet as an Handmaid of Vertue; woo and court common Fame no further than it follows upon honest courses and vertuous actions, and think thy self but base, if thou shouldst depend upon vulgar breath, [Page 107] which is commonly none of the sweetest. It is as great a Symptom of a crazy Repu­tation, as it is of a crazy body, to be too impatient upon every slight touch. And truly (methinks) it is strange▪ that men should so eagerly pursue Honour, and so hotly court her, as to vindicate her upon any man, who should but touch her, though never so slightly, with the hazard both of body and soul. Whilst in their impious and inhumane Duels they make themselves, if they survive their Antago­nists, either liable to be hanged by the Laws of men, or to be damn'd by the Laws of God: or finally liable to both, if God shew not more mercy to them, than they did to their Brethren, whose blood they spilt in some vain, or perhaps drunken Brabble. But let them pass as dangerous men to be conversed withal, only 'twere good men would hearken to Gonsalvo, that famous Commander, who was wont to say, that a Gentlemans honour should be de telâ crassiore, of a stronger warp or web, than that every slight thing should catch in it, and be thought able to break it. Think besides the bloody fact being once committed, of those terrours which [Page 108] will (if thou hast any Grace left in thee) dog thy Conscience with the srightful Vi­ssions of thy murthered Friend; and think moreover, how together with him thou hast murdered (unless thou canst pro­cure a pardon) thy poor Children, and undone thy whole Family; and laid such a blemish upon thy posterity after thee, as peradventure shall never be blotted out again, the stain being laid so deep in blood.

LXXIV. Be not too ventrous in ex­posing thy self, like a Knight Errand, to needness dangers; 'tis an unhappy Pro­verb, He that courts perils shall dye the Devils Martyr. I have heard that in our last Civil Wars, a young Cavaliero being well mounted, started out to pickeer with another of the Enemies side and killed him, and returning in a vain glo­rious manner to his Company, Prince Ru­pert, who then commanded that Party, and was a Spectator of his Bravery, asked him this Question, Sir, pray resolve me, whe­ther you are an elder or a younger Bro­ther? who replying, that he was an el­der Brother, the Prince told him, That he had then that day shewed his younger [Page 109] Brother fair play for it. And what got my Gallant by this, but instead of the applause he expected, the estimation of being Fool Hardy, rather than truly va­liant. As I would not have thee kneel with the Camel to take up a burden, un­der which thou canst not rise again, so with the Elephant, I would have thee, like a stout man, to bear a Castle, if it be laid upon thy back▪ There is a time for the tolerancy of a mans crosses; and therefore neither like the wild Beast bred in a cold Climat, run from the fire, nor like a Moth, flittering about the Candle, run into it.

LXXV. Come not presumptuousty into places where some are contagiously sick, lest thou come untimely to thy Grave: come not within the lists of destruction, he that would not fall into the pit, must not approach the brink. Likewise be­stow cost, as long as thou mayst, to con­tinue thy life, by upholding and repairing thy Cottage of clay. It is against the course of Nature, and a way to tempt the very God of Nature to destroy thee, wil­fully to hinder thy health, or not to seek means to preserve it. God sendeth se­veral [Page 109] Diseases, and hath appointed seve­ral Medicines as Remedies to encounter them: therefore honour the Physician, and with King Hezekiah, lay a plaister upon the Boil, say not mans life hath a period, as the Sea hath its bounds, beyond which it cannot pass; and therefore think not like a Turk, that if thy time be not yet come, that though thou thrust thy head into a Cannon, it cannot kill thee; for though no man can live one minute beyond the set time God hath appointed him to live, yet by refusing the due means to preserve thy self, or by thy sins and deb nicheries, thou mayst cut thy days the shorter. God that predestines the end, doth as well predestine the means tending to the attainment there­of. This the Psalmist makes evident, when he tells us, The wicked and blood­thirsty men shall not live out half their days. And we may observe by our daily experiences, that men in Feavers, Squinancies, and Pleurisies are preserved many years longer by timely Phlebotomy, who without such means would una­voidably and immediately perish. To this purpose I have read a remarkable [Page 110] Spanish Story, and it is this: There was in Toledo a debauched young Gentleman, scarce twenty years of age, who for Rob­bery and Murder was condemned to dye, and being hanged, on the day of Execu­tion, upon a Gibbet, suddenly there grew out of his, a little before unflidged Chin, a long Beard, white as Snow, which when the Archbishop of the place, coming to the Gallows, observed; he gave the a­mazed people that stood by this conje­cture of so strange an Accident, that God by this wonderful thing had shewn, that if the young Man had not cut himself off by his vitious and abominable courses, he might have lived to an extreme old age. Say not when thy Glass is run, do what thou wilt, thou canst stay no longer, and the Clock will strike when the Minutes be past, neither say, that that which must be shall be, and let death seek thee, yet it shall not find thee, till thy time be come, and therefore away with Physick, what shall means do? For then a Rope upon thee, try every Knife, eat Coloquin­tida thy belly full, frequent places, where the Air about thee doth infect, and where the breath of one body is poyson to [Page 112] another, and by the like reason thou mayst excuse thy wickedness, and be de­sperately and dissolutely careless: But in matters of Hope, where the end is not known, use means with Asa, though thou relye not upon them; and though many times they avail not, yet take thou all the fairest ways, of all lawful remedies, since Gods determinations are conceal­ed from thee. And be not like those miserable minded men, who if they fall sick, had rather dye a thousand deaths than pay the Apothecaries Bills. Upon the Miser in the Epigram, the Quipp lay heavier than his Grave stone, in which it was engraven,

Here lies Father Sparges,
Who dy'd to save Charges.

Some others there be, who starve their bodies to make their purses fat, and put their bellies into their bags, as the Epi­cures put their money into their bellies, resembling a Dog in a Wheel, who roasts meat for others, but never a good bit for himself. Others warm themselves only with the sticks of a Crows Nest, and dare [Page 113] not take so much as a Faggot-stick out of their Stacks and Piles, which they make to out-live all the Woods in the Country round about them: and hoard their Corn, rather to feed Rats and Mice, than themselves; so that they will not afford their own selves such necessaries as may keep them in good sort, and where­by they may preserve their lives. Yet I would not have thee to be like those, who for every Qualm take a Receipt, and cannot make two Meals, unless Ga­len or Hippocrates stand by their Tren­chers; if thou dost so, thy purse will e­ver be without money, and thy body ne­ver without diseases.

LXXVI. I would have thee to fol­low thy Study, and those Affairs in which thou art concerned; yet not to seek so immoderately the Wealth of thy Brain or Purse, as to lose the Health of thy Body; neglect not thy body to accomplish thy mind: when thy weakness checks thee, and thy body controuls thee from assidu­ous, hard, and immoderate study, and from great cares and affairs of impor­tance, affect not so much knowledge or wealth, as to debar thy self of those [Page 114] things, whereby thy health may be re­gained or retained.

LXXVII. Further, I advise thee to study Men as well as Books; take heed of those that wink with one eye, and see with the other, it is a Proverb worth observation,

He that winks with one eye, and sees with t' other,
I will not turst him, though he were my Brother.

Likewise take heed of those, that have their Beards of two colours, or their Head of one colour, and their Beard of another, for they are mark't; and another Pro­verb bids us beware of those, whom God hath marked. A mans disposition is never better known than when he is crossed, as Proteus never changed shapes, till Hercules griped him; but what a man is inward, is best to be discovered by these three things,

Oculis,by hisEyes,

[Page 115] To this we may add a forth, and that is Anger; for this passion will lay him o­pen, as the fire burning in the Chimney, discovers all the things that are in the Room: and besides these four things, the very Lineaments, Colour, Complexion, and Habitude of the Body may give us some light of the Qualities and Disposi­tions of Men and Women, as is signified by these Rimes, in which the small Poet speaking first of Women, gives us this account.

Fair and foolish, little and loud,
Long and lazie, black and proud,
Fat and merry, lean and sad,
Pale and peevish, red and bad.
Then for Men he gives us this Ac­count following.
To a red man read thy read,
To a brown man break thy bread,
At a pale man draw thy Knife,
From a black man keep thy Wise.

LXXVIII. If thou takest Tobacco, which it matters not, whether thou dost, [Page 116] or no, yet if thou takest it moderately and Physically, it may as lawfully be ta­ken as well as other things▪ which God hath afforded us, for our delight as well as our necessity: but to take it vainly as too many do, who are never well any longer than the Pipe, like a Turkey-Cocks snout, hangs dangling under their Noses, or to take it meerly to pass away thy pretious time, or as a salt bit to draw down thy Liquor, or as an help to di­scourse, is both ridiculous and blame-wor­thy: but besides, this Indian Weed im­moderately taken, is very prejudicial to the bodies health, it dries up the Lungs, it putrifies the Breath, and being of a Narcotick quality, it stupifies the Brain, and combines with the Bottle, to make a man a very Sot: which mischiefs and inconveniencies, are altogether summed up in these Rimes, by another small Poet.

Tobacco that outlandish Weed,
It dries the brain, and spoils the seed,
It dulls the spirit, it dims the sight,
It robs a Woman of her right.

[Page 117] LXXIX. Hate ingratitude above all things, for nothing is more hateful to God and Man: no Billings-gate Scold can fix a worse name upon thee, than to call thee an ungrateful person: it is wor­thy of remark, that unthankfulness and unholiness in sacred Writ, like an Harl of Hellish Hounds, are coupled together: never therefore forget to be thankful to any one from whom thou hast received a courtesie or benefit; in this thou wilt shew both grace and wit, for thankful­ness for the present benefits received, makes way for future ones. In the whole course of Nature, man may read a Lecture of gratitude; Rivers return their floods in­to the Ocean, from whence they derived their streams; the Clouds of Heaven re­pay the exhalations and vapours, which the earth sent up to them, with fruitful Flowers; thy Flocks and thy Kine re­compence the Pasture and Fodder thou affordest them, with their Fleeces and their Milk; and thy Bees, for thy kind­ness in hiving them in thy Garden requite thy love, with their Wax and Honey: and as I would not have thee be ungrate­ful thy self, so I advise thee to guard [Page 118] thy self against such as are so; for these like the savage Bears will be apt to bite the Water that quenches their thirst. Save a Thief from the Gallows and he will cut thy throat: indeed there are not a few such Villains to be sound in the world, who are apt to return evil for good, and are not ashamed to dege­nerate into such Monsters (Monsters did I call them? I might rather have term­ed them Devils, who labour to damn them the deepest, that serve them the most) as to hurt or betray those, to whom they are by Nature, by Blood, and by kindnesses most engaged and obliged. When King Richard the Third pursued the Duke of Buckingham, to put him to death (for usurping Tyrants use to cut down the stairs by which they climb up to their height) the Duke in his ex­tremity did flye to one Bannister his Ser­vant, upon whom he had bestowed great Means to inrich him. Bannister very carefully conveyed him into a Coppice▪ adjoining to his Mansion House and there preserved him, but within a while there is a Proclamation made, that whosoever could reveal [Page 119] where the Duke was, if he were a Bond­slave, he should be enfranchised, and made free; if a Freeman, he should have a General Pardon, and be reward­ed with a thousand Pounds, hereupon Bannister either for fear of danger, if he did conceal him, or hope of gain, if he did reveal him, bewrayed where his Ma­ster was, whereupon he was apprehend­ed and carried to Shrewsbury where King Richard then lay, and there with­out Arraignment or any legal proceeding, he was in the Market place beheaded: Whether Bannister received the pro­claimed Reward, or no, is uncertain; King Richard (loving the Treason but hating the Traytor) said (as it is reported) that he that would be false to so good a Ma­ster, would never be true to any, but cer­tain it is, he received the Reward of a Villain, from Divine Justice; for himself was after hanged for murther, his eldest Daughter was deflowered by one of his Carters, or (as some say) strucken with a foul Leprosie, his eldest Son in a despe­rate Lunacy destroyed himself, and was found to have done so, by the Coroners inquest, and his younger Son was drowned [Page 120] in a shallow Puddle.

LXXX. Be faithful to thy Prince and Country; and hate Rebellion and Treason as thou wouldst the Devil himself, for he was the first Rebel and Traytor that ever was: it is but just that his heart should be pulled out of his breast alive, who bears a false one to his Prince. Nei­ther do thou grumble or repine at the Taxes and Impositions which are laid up­on thee; for this is all thou payest to thy Soveraign, who, by his good Govern­ment and just Laws secures thy Peace and Safety, thy Life and Liberty, thy Estate and Religion. Observe it well, that in all Ages the sin of Rebellion hath constantly been attended with one swing­ing vengeance or other. Take one re­markable instance of this, in Corah, Da­than, and Abiram, for whom the Earth it self turned Sexton, and made their Graves. And as I would have thee ac­cording to Christs injunction, Give unto Caesar the things which are Caesars, so would I have thee, Give unto God the things which are Gods.

LXXXI. Wherefore be just in the payment of thy Tithes, for he that Robs the Priest, Robs God himself also. And [Page 121] it will in the end rather impoverish than increase thine Estate: the Rabbins have a Proverb, and 'tis a true one, Pay thy Tithes and be rich: The Eagle which snatched the flesh from the Altar, to car­ry it to his young ones, burnt them and his Nest with a burning Coal which stuck to it, had a due Reward of his Sacri­ledge: above all things, meddle not with the Lands of the Church, for that will bring a curse upon those lands which I shall leave thee; to be sure (according to Sir Henry Spelman's observation) the third Heir seldom or never enjoys the sa­criledge of his Predecessors.

LXXXII. Take heed by all means that thou break not the Peace of the Church; for Schism is but the Handmaid of Rebellion: The better therefore to preserve that, keep thy private Opinions in matters of Religion to thy self, if they be contrary to the established disci­pline of the Church. It is better thou didst never wear a Shirt upon thy back, than thou shouldst quarrel at anothers decent wearing of a Surplice; this is but tithing of Mint and Cummin, and neg­lecting the weighty matters of Gods Laws: [Page 122] 'Tis a bad matter to break the Kings Peace, but 'tis a worse to break the Peace of God.

LXXXIII. My Son, since I by mine own industry, and God by his Providence, has provided for thee a fair Estate, for­get not to be charitable to the poor, it is a goodlier sight to see the Poor standing at a rich mans Gate than the Porter: and therefore as thou takest care to feed thy Hounds without doors, and to cloath thy naked Walls within with Tapestry and Cloth of Arras, so much more would I have thee to be careful, to fill the bel­lies of the hungry, and clothe the backs of the naked, that they perish not with hunger and cold: for as thou takest no­tice of thy comings in, so God assuredly takes notice of thy layings out; to whom thou must one day give a severe Account, for every idle Penny, that thou hast spent as well as for every idle Word that thou hast spoken.

LXXXIV. I have heard a story of a Gentleman and his Son, and the passa­ges in it are very well worth thy obser­vation; and that thou mayest the bet­ter remember it, I will cut it as short [Page 123] as the things will bear: This Gentle­man had one only Son, whom he called to him and told him, that he was going out of the world, and therefore desi­red him to remember these three Pre­cepts.

First, To take a good proffer when it was offered.

Secondly, Not to tarry at a Friends house too long.

Thirdly, Not to go too far for his Wife.

The young Gentleman promised him, that he would carefully observe them; but shortly after, there came a Gentle­man to his House, who saw in his Sta­ble a very good Horse, unto whom he had a very great liking, and for which he proffered 80 l. but he refused it, and would not part with him under an 100 l. that night his Horse was taken in the Staggers and dyed; then he remembred his Fathers first Admonition; wherefore he calls one of his Servants and com­mands him to skin his Horse, and take the skin and hang up in his barn▪ which ac­cordingly was done. After this he rides a­broad to visit a friend, who made him very welcome, but he stayed there so long▪ that [Page 124] his friend was weary of him, and caused to be brought to Table nothing but brown bread, whereupon seeing nothing but white bread before, he bethought himself that he had not observed his Fathers second Precept; wherefore co­ming away, he begged one of the brown Loaves, telling them, that he liked the bread so well, that his Butler should make the like for him: so they gave him a Loaf, which when he came home, he bid his Man to hang in a Rope by the Horse skin. After this he be­thinks himself of taking a Wife, wished he was to a Gentlemans Daughter, which lived an hundred miles or more from him; thither he goes, and woos the young Lady, and all things were agreed upon for the conclusion of the Match: but being upon some urgent occasion sent for home, he acquainted the old Gentleman after Supper with it, telling him, that his return should be short, and therefore craved that he might take his leave of his Mistress over night; but the old Gentleman would by no means suffer him, but told him that he was a better Husband, and his Mistress a better Hus­wife [Page 125] than so; and that they would be up time enough in the morning to take their leave of him; but the young Gen­leman being up very betimes, and ha­ving ordered his Horses to be made rea­dy, and bethinking himself, that it would not be handsom to ride away without taking leave of his Mistress, he went to her Chamber-door, and knock't very softly▪ but no body answering, and find­ing the Key in the outside of the Door, he unlock't it, peeped in towards the Bed, where he espyed two in the Bed, and who should they be but the old Gentle­mans Clerk and his Mistress asleep? Wherefore stepping into the Chamber, he took away the young Mans Breeches, which lay upon a Trunk, and put them into his Mans Port-mantle; which after he came home, he caused to be hung by the Horse-skin and the Loaf, and never went more to visit his Mistress. At this the old Gentleman marvelled greatly, and therefore he would ride to see what the matter was, and especially to s [...]e his Son-in-laws Estate. And being come to the young Gentlemans house, he was very richly entertained; but being wea­ry [Page 126] with his long and tedious Journey, the young Gentleman brought the old to his Chamber, and there left him to take his repose. The next morning the old Gen­tleman was up very early, and walked abroad to see what a good Husband his Son-in-law was, and saw all things very neat and handsom. As he was walking about, one of the Servants went and told his Master, that the old Gentleman was risen and walk't abroad; he hearing it, presently arose, and met him, and then carried him into his Stable to see his Horses, from thence he conducted him into his Barn, where the old Gen­tleman looking up▪ espyed the Horse-skin, the Loaf, and the pair of Breeches, of which he desired to know the mean­ing: Oh Sir, replied the other, those hang there to put me in mind of the three Cautions my dying Father gave me, and so he told him the same I have be­fore mentioned. I understand well e­nough; said the old Gentleman, what the [...]orse-skin and Loaf means, but do not, what the Breeches signifie, Why, Sir, said he, they signifie, that I had forgot that Caution my Father gave [Page 127] me, Not to go too sar for a Wife. Now those Breeches are your Clerks, whom I found, when I was at your house, in Bed with your Daughter, and therefore she is a fitter Wife for him, than she is for me: and thereupon he related the whole story, which when the old Gen­tleman, to his great grief had heard, he discontentedly departed, with a Flea in his Ear, and the young Gentleman stayed at home with more Wit in his Pate.

LXXXV. Go not, or send (if thou hast lost any thing, or art not in health) to Cunning-men, Sorcerers, South-sayers, Conjurers, or Witches, for the helping thee to what thou hast lost, or for the recovering of thy health; for if thou once goest to them, thou shalt always have need of them: besides, thou makest thy self a Servant to the Devil. A Neigh­bour of mine, whom I shall not name, for the respect I bear him, having lost some of his Goods, went to a Cunning-man or Conjurer, for the helping him to what he had lost, who asking him whether he did believe, that he could help it to him; for (says he) it is a Prin­ciple amongst us, that the firm belief of [Page 128] the party that addresses himself to us, that we can help him, is of as much force, for the accomplishment of his de­sires, as all our Schemes, Figures, Cha­racters, and Conjurations. My Neigh­bour hearing this, told him that he now came to him with that firm belief: where­upon the Cunning-man (for so he was styled and accounted to be) asked him what Goods they were which he had lost, he told him, one of his best Horses, ha­ving thus answered, the Cunning-man withdrew himself into an inner Room; but my Neighbour being very desirous to see what he did, or to hear what he said, went very softly to the door, where attentively listening, he heard him say to the Devil, Thy Servant in the next Room hath lost one of his best Horses, which thou must help him to again; which as soon as my Neighbour heard, he an­swered, That he would not have his Goods upon such terms, but said, rather than he would be the Devils Servant, he would lose his Horse and Saddle too, and so a­way he came, leaving the Conjurer and the Devil at a Parley.

LXXXVI. If thou walkest in the [Page 129] paths of Policy, thou must be careful how to be reserved, not like the Snail, leave a Trace where thou hast gone, for that may betray thee; he that lyes at too open a Ward, may soon be hit. But thy way must be like that of an Arrow or Bullets through the Air, quick for Dispatch, and safe for Secrecy: or rather thou must be like the River Arar, which flows into Rhodanus with such an incre­dible softness, that it is not to be dis­cerned which way it ebbs or flows. He that taught us to be as innocent as Doves, taught us also to be as wise as Serpents. The changes and chances of a mans life, are as Casts at Dice, good and bad; a good one may be marred with oversight, and a bad one may be mended by good play. Fortune is like the Market, where many times, if you can stay a little, the price will fall: And again it is like Sy­billa's Offer, which at first offereth the Commodity at full, then consumeth part and part, and still holdeth up the price. For Occasion turneth a bald Noddle, after she hath presented her Locks in Front, and no hold taken: or at least turneth the Handle of the Bottle, first to be re­ceived, [Page 130] and after the Belly which is hard to clasp. There is certainly no greater wisdom than to time, and consider the beginnings and onsets of things. Dangers are no more light, if they once seem so; and more dangers have deceived men, than forced them. Nay it were better to meet some dangers half way, though they come nothing near, than to keep too long a Watch upon their Approaches: For if a man watch too long, it is ten to one but he will fall asleep. On the other side, to be deceived with too long sha­dows (as some have been, when the Moon was low, and shone on their Enemies back) and so to shoot off before the time; or to teach dangers to come on, by over early buckling towards them, is another Extreme. The ripeness or un­ripeness of the occasion (as we said) must ever be well weighed; and generally it is good to commit the beginnings of all great Actions to Argus with his hun­dred Eyes; and the ends to Briareus with his hundred Hands: first to watch, and then to speed. For the Helmet of Pluto, which maketh the Politick man go invi­sible is, secrecy in the Counsel, and celerity [Page 131] in the Execution. For when things are once come to the Execution, there is no Secrecy comparable to Celerity▪ Yet mea­sure not Dispatch by the Time, but by the Advancement of the Business. For as in Races, it is not the large stride or high lift that makes the Speed: So in Bu­siness, the keeping close to the matter, and not taking of it too much at once, procureth dispatch: And many times, and in many things it is better to make more use of the Ballast than of the Sail: And as we say in the Schools, that it is easier to oppose than answer; so 'tis easier to prevent dangers than to tarry for them, and better to have a good Buckler to keep off the blow, than a good Plaister to heal the wound. But be sure thou dost not, like Machiavel, in all thy Poli­ticks leave out the Grace of God, or the Principles of Honesty and Justice. In all thy Actions be wise rather than crafty, and piece the Fox skin with that of the Lamb. For as our Saviour doth advise us to be as wise as Serpents, so doth he also advise us to be as innocent as Doves. Imitate those skilful and honest Physici­ans, who mix all their Deleterious Pre­scriptions [Page 132] with due Correctives. Climb to Preferment rather by thy Vertues and Me­rits than by thy Politicks, if thou wouldst avoid the censure and fatal end of Boni­face the Eighth, of whom it was said, that he entred into the Popedom like a Fox, lived like a Lyon, and dyed like a Dog. And as I would have all thine Actions and Designs mixt with Honesty and Simplicity, so I would those Coun­sels, which thou imparts to others, to be no way pernicious, either to the Life, Estate, or Honour of any man. Wicked Counsellors are but the Devils Agents, and they that hearken to them, and take up their ungodly Propositions, are like those Sponges that suck up Aqua Fortis, which will afterwards consume and con­found them. Never make God or Reli­gion thy Stalking-Horse, to gain those designs at which thou dost level thine eye. (My Son) whether thou consi­derest the foul ways or satal ends of such Achitophels, thou shalt find in the conclusion, that Honesty is the best Policy.

LXXXVII. Beware of those that pre­tend to Religion and Godliness, but have [Page 133] it not in them, who Canonize themselves and call themselves the Saints, but will not call those, whom we know to be glorious Saints in Heaven by that style; which though they refuse to do for Ho­nours, yet so should they do if it were but for distinctions sake, to difference them from other men. And here I can­not but tell thee a pretty Story. A Pres­byterian Parson sent his Man upon Sun­day morning (his old ones being done) for a pair of new Shoos to his Shoomaker, whose Christian Name was Paul, but his Servant stayed till he was in the midst of his Sermon, in which just as his Man step't into the Church, his Master with a loud voice said, but what saith Paul, who replied as loud (thinking that his Master had spoken to him about his Shoos) Marry, Sir, he saith that you shall have no new Shoos, till you have paid for the old ones. Now had he said, but what saith Saint Paul, he had prevented so gross and ridiculous a mistake. These are the men, that seem to gape so wide after Ho­liness, as if they would take it all into themselves, whereby they resemble the Fishes of the Sea, which by their wide [Page 134] mouths seem to suck in the whole Ocean, whereas, if a man cuts them up, he shall not find so much as one drop of water within them. For if thou note their Pride, Vain-glory, and Hypocrisie, their rash Judgments and uncharitable Censures of all other men, their Covetousness, holy Cheats, and false Dealings with those with whom they commerce, their Contu­macies and Rebellions against the King and his Laws, together with their Ʋn­mercifulness and Tyranny over those over whom they have gotten the Power and Dominion, as signally appeared by their Plundring, Sequestring, Articling against their Pastors, and thrusting themselves in­to their Livings, and by their Decima­ting, Plundring, Sequestring, Shipping, Imprisoning, and Murthering their Bre­thern, yea and their Soveraign Himself also, and what is worse than all these, their to this very day not repenting them­selves of all these Villanies, as is plainly manifest by their proneness and inclina­tions to relapse into the same, if they had the power so to do upon every Overture, thou shalt find them only to be Olivers Saints, and not Gods. These men make [Page 135] use of piety more to deceive men than to please God. They use Religion as some men do Glass-eyes, meerly to honest, the ill-favouredness of their faces, not that they may see, or be the more inlightned by them. They have learned that Prin­ciple of Machiavel, That a man seek not to attain Vertue it self, but the appearance of it only, because the credit of it is a help, but the use of it is a cumber. They speak as if their Tongues were tipt with Religion, but their Deeds are from it. They are as Lillies, fair in shew, but foul in scent. They speak so fairly, and deal so foully, that a man would not be­lieve they were made all of a piece; but when the wind sings and whistles in the leaves, look after for a storm. Take heed of these Devils wrapt up in a Sa­muels Mantle, trust them not when they speak, as though nothing but Gospel could drop from their lips, for in their hearts they mumble over the Devils Pa­ter Noster.

LXXXVIII. 'Tis no impolitick mat­ter, when thou payest off thy Bills to thy Mercer, Taylor, or any other Trades­man with whom thou dealest, not to [Page 136] trust the crossing of their Books, without a Receipt under their hands, so thou shalt be sure never to pay for the same things twice: And so also, when thou receivest any Letters of importance, be sure to put them upon the File, for thou knowest not of what importance they may be to thee for the time to come; especially those that are sealed with a Coat of Arms. I knew an ancient Knight, whom Age and Experience had made a very prudent and politick Person, who when he received from any Gentleman or Person of Quality a Letter so sealed, would be very care­ful in the opening of it, to preserve the Seal intire; and he gave this Reason, why he was so careful in this seemingly slight matter, because if any thing writ­ten in such Letters, might hereafter be denied, or called in Question, he might shew how the business stood, under the Hands and Seals of the Parties. But if thou receivest Letters that may import secrecy or any danger to thy Self or Friend, remember that as soon as ever thou hast read them to thy self, that thou commit them to Vulcan; remem­bring that as Bellerophon came to a fatal [Page 137] end, by those Letters which he himself carried and delivered, so many have done the like, by those Letters they have received and kept by them: as by instances may be made appear, almost in all Histories.

LXXXIX. Shun Neutrality; Alphon­sus observed, that the Senenses, Neuters in the Italian Wars, became at length a Prey to both sides, comparing them to such as dwell in the middle story of an House, annoyed by smoke from beneath, and dust from above.

XC. When thou art weary of thy study, or any other employment, take some honest recreation, use Hunting or Hawking, either start the Hare, or dis­lodge the Buck, or unkennel the Fox, or rowse the Hart, or unpearch the Pheasant; recreations which are honest, are as ne­cessary for the mind, which is employed in great Affairs and cares of importance, as meat is for the body, which is exhaust­ed with daily labour: But follow not thy sport with chafing, for it is a most im­proper thing to see men follow their P [...] ­stimes with sretting and pelting, for thus, like a leaking Ship, they suffer the water [Page 138] to sink them which should bear them up. I mean, they let that which should be their recreation and delight, be their vexation and disquiet. There are as well generous delights as ingenious stu­dies, and the one must lend some sweet­ness to the other; divers while they have been so precise, that they thought they might not delight in any sport, at last come to be so crest-fallen, as that they take no delight in any thing: Nature made them sociable because she made them men, but they have sullenly stray­ed from the Drove, and abandoning all Mirth and Jollity, carry always cloudy foreheads, which is no way commenda­ble, no not in an Horse: Doubtless God loves a chearful man, as well as a chear­ful Giver: and such assuredly deceive themselves, who think that they shall never look, like blessed Angels in Hea­ven, who look not like tormented Divels here on Earth; or that they shall never sing there, unless after a most disconso­late and discontented manner, they whine and Pule here, and speak as small as an Hair: Religion consists not in drawling Tones, or making of Faces, for a man [Page 139] may perform his duty more acceptably to God, without, than with dis-figuring his countenance; otherwise our Saviour himself would not have said be not of a sad (or as another Translation reads the word [...]) be not of a sower counte­nance: do thou therefore use lawful re­creations, and keep up an honest merry heart.

XCI. But above all Recreations I re­commend unto thee these two, good Horsemanship and skill at thy Weapon; the one highly becomes a Gentleman, and will make him serviceable to his Prince and Country, if any occasion be; the other will teach him how to guard and defend himself: nevertheless I would not have thee suffer thy skill in that which I last mentioned, to make thee quarrel­som, or the more confident in thine own strength; but rather use thy Rapier as a defensive than an offensive Weapon, and as a Shield rather to ward the blow than give one.

XCII. Be not addicted to superstitious vanities; some will look pale presently like death, if the Saltseller fall towards their Trenchers; others will take it for [Page 140] an omen that they shall be crossed in those negotiations they go about, if a Hare chance to cross them in their way, when the cross lies only in this, that they could not catch her; others, if they do but stumble at the Threshold, will not take their Journey that same day, but defer it to another time; others will by no means pare their Nails on Friday, be­cause they say it is a cross day; many of these make Erra Pater their old Testa­ment, and the Shepherds Kalendar their New; and take all that they say, to be as true as Gods Oracles; others if they but hear a Crow croke from the Roof of their Neighbours house, they presently set their house in order, saying they shall dye and not live; and were I disposed to recount all the Roman superstitions of this kind, as their Dies fasti, & nefasti, their unfortunate and fortunate days, their inspections into the Entrails of Beasts, and their Augurations and Sooth­sayings, upon the flight of Birds and the noises they make: I might reckon up a thousand such like vanities as these.

Others there are who put their con­fidence in Astrologers, and therefore [Page 141] when they fall sick, the Stars are their Counsellors, they take their Almanack, if they find it an evil day when their sickness began, their soul is poured out upon them, they fear that they shall not only be weakned and sore broken, but that their health passing away as a cloud, they shall go the way of all the earth, that the grave shall be their house, and making their Bed in the dark, the worms shall feel their sweetness, and therefore making their wills, they take their leave of all the world; but if it be a good day, they doubt not, but all sickness shall be taken away from them, that health shall be unto their Navel, and marrow to their Bones, that their flesh shall be as fresh as a Childs, and return as in the days of their youth. In the year of our Lord 1524. one Bolton Prior of St. Bartholo­mews listening to the Prognosticators, who then generally foretold, that upon the watry Trigon, which should happen in the Month of February that year, ma­ny thousands should perish by a Deluge, caused an house to be builded upon Harrow on the Hill, whither he carried for himself and Family, provision for [Page 142] two months; so great a fear of an In­undation possest him, and so great cre­dence gave he to the Almanack Makers Predictions, yet was there not a fairer Season many years before.

Others there be who are very foolish­ly superstitious in reference to their Dreams; such a one was that Knight in the Reign of King Henry the First, who dreaming that one was about to strangle him with his own Hair, assoon as he was awake caused it all to be cut off, though he delighted much in it: to whom we may join those, who if they but dream forsooth of Egs or Fees, they presently conclude they shall hear of anger the next day; or if they dream of Flowers or a Garden they shall hear of a Funeral: now the reason of this vain superstition, is grounded upon this, because they take an exact notice when they hit, but not when they miss. I am not igno­rant that Artimedorus in his Oneirocri­ticks gives us a large account of the sig­nification of those dreams, which pos­sess our Brains in the night, but for mine own part I hold them to be of no signi­fication at all, unless they come by di­vine [Page 143] immission: of which kind (not to speak of those which we meet with in Holy Writ) I take these two, which I shall now relate to be; the first of which signifies, that God comprehends in him­self all wisdom, and that all men in the World, are Fools: and the second that divine Justice will not suffer Murther to go undiscovered.

1. A Noble man of Rome dreamt that he was sitting in the Shop of an A­pothecary, into which a great Rabble suddenly rusht, and catching up all the Glasses and Bottles that they found filled with Syrups and distilled waters, they drunk up every one of them, except on­ly one great Bottle, out of which they sucked not up so much as one drop: af­ter them he seemed to see a person of a very majestical and venerable aspect, who came likewise into the same Shop, and as soon as he espied that Bottle, which all the rest had refused, he set it to his mouth, and drank up every drop of that Liquor with which it was filled; and having done so, he likewise departed, at whose Person and Action the Noble­man admiring, asked the Apothecary [Page 144] who that reverend man was, to whom he replied, Oh, Sir, that person you saw was God, and the Water in the great Bot­tle which he drank up, and which all the other Rout refused, was Wisdom. Upon which the Noble-man awaked, highly pleased with his most excellent dream.

2. The other is this, two Fellow Tra­vellers riding together, came by night, to a certain Town, where they parted, the one to his Friends House, the other to a common Inn, he that lodged at his Friends House, dreamt that he saw his Companion that lodged at the Inn stand at his Bed-side, and desired him that he would arise and make haste to help him, or he should be murthered by his Host, but being very drowsie and weary with his Journey he arose not; wherefore in a short time after his Companion again appeared, and requested him more ear­nestly to arise and succour him; but he making no account of all this slept again; but he left him not so, but appeared unto him the Third time, all bloody, tell­ing him that it was now too late to im­plore his aid, but yet he requested him to avenge his Blood upon the Murtherer [Page 145] his Host; who (as he told him) had kill­ed and buried him in his Dung-Mixon, where he should find his Corps: at which the other started out of his sleep, and a­rose, and taking the Officers with him▪ secured mine Host, and upon further search found the Body of his Fellow Traveller, with his Throat cut: and so by this means God disclosed the Murther, and those that had an hand in it were brought to condign punishment.

My Son, if such foolish Conceits and Phansies as those which I have be­fore mentioned, call at thy Door, use them as vagrant Passengers, with slight respect, let them not take up any lodg­ing within thee. But though I would not have thee superstitious, yet I would have thee devout.

XCIII. Wherefore forget not to begin and end with God, by thy morning and evening Devotions; so will every thing thou settest thine hand about fadge and prosper the better, yea the quicker shall be thy dispatch; for as the Dutch Pro­verb hath it, Stealing never makes a man rich, Alms never make a man poor, and [Page 146] Prayer never hinders a mans business. Before thou dost compose thy self to take thy rest, make up thine accounts between God and thine own soul; and consider what the day past thou hast thought, done, or spoken amiss; Short reckonings (we say) make long friends. And where thou hast found that thou hast failed in thy duty, resolve to amend the next day following: but be sure thou make good thy resolutions, that thou resemble not St. George on the Sign Post, always seeming to strike at, but ne­ver wounding the Dragon: or that of the Archer, always aiming at, but never hitting the mark: good intentions are but Buds, but God requires we should bring forth Fruit meet for Repentance. But above all close not thine eyes, with­out begging pardon for what is past; remembring that sleep is too much like Death, to be trusted without a mans Prayers.

XCIV. Keep thy self to the true Prin­ciples of Piety, Virtue, and Honour; for this will bring thee to a better Inheri­tance than I shall leave thee: especially [Page 147] I would have thee well grounded and setled in Religion; the best profession of which I have ever esteemed that of the Church of England, in which thou hast been educated, yet I would have thine own judgment and reason now seal to that sacred Bond which Education hath Written, that it may be judiciously thine own Religion which thou dost profess, and not other mens Custom or Tradi­tion.

XCV. My Son, as for Travelling it is very good, if it be used well; Homer highly exalts the wisdom and experience of Ʋlisses, which he gained in his twen­ty years Travels; for as he tells us

Multorum mores Hominum conspexit, & Ʋrbes.

He observed the Citys and the Manners of the People whithersoever he travel­led; and from thence drew such use­ful Theories, as made him a most accom­plished person. Indeed he that Travels with Wit in his head as well as money in his Purse, makes the whole World his [Page 148] Library, and all men therein his Books: but sill not up thy Table-Book with tri­vial slight Observations, for that will call thy judgment and discretion in que­stion; as it did Tom. Coryats of Odcomb, who gives us an account where he made water when he was in Italy, what the mending of his Stockings cost him there, and how he hardly escaped the losing of his Testicles, with a thousand of as mean occurrences, as these. Let thine obser­vations in thy Travels be weighty and material; observe the humours and con­ditions of those Nations amongst whom thou shalt come; their Customs, Cere­monies and Religion, that seeing their Idolatry, thou mayest the more firmly stick to thine own Religion, which thou dost prosess. Next take notice of their Churches and Oratories, and whatsoever is notable in them, their Government, Laws, Judicatures, and Proceedings, a­gainst Malefactors with their dealings in matters of Traffick and Commerce, their Castles, Magazines, and Discipline in War, their Ships, the commodiousness of their Havens, their Rivers, Fish, Birds, Beasts, [Page 149] and Mines of all sorts, their Buildings, Structures, and all those curious Arts, which seem to be peculiar to the genius of the People, and every thing that justly claims a mans wonder and admiration: for by these thou shalt the better acquaint thy self with the wonderful operation of the handy-works of God, and shalt the clearer see his infinite wisdom in his Go­vernment of this inferiour World. Fi­nally note the Virtues of the people and imitate them; their Vices and Vanities likewise, but to avoid and abhor them. There are many young Sparks that tra­vel abroad, who leave the English Gen­tleman they carried out with them, and bring home again nothing, unless it be a formal Spaniard, a drunken Dutchman, or an airy Frenchman: nay it is well if they bring not home a Turk instead of a Christian; instead of returning like So­lomons Ships fraught with Gold, they return furnish't only with Apes and Pea­cocks; my meaning is, they return learn­ed only in the pride and vanity of those Foreigners, amongst whom they con­versed with in their Travels; instead of [Page 150] taking a due cognizance of those things which are of such worth and remark as might enrich their judgments and under­standings. Doubtless it cannot be worth a mans cost, pains, and perils to go so far (as some do) only to learn a new Mode or a new Oath, a politick shrug, or a mimical cringe, or a little Gibberish pronounced with an ugly Face: If this be all, it were better for my young Gal­lant to be chained at home in the chim­ney corner, like a Monkey, than to re­turn such an Ape.

Wherefore, if thou intendest to tra­vel, and to avoid these Rocks upon which others have dasht themselves to pieces, take along with thee a grave and wise Companion or Tutor, who by his own former Travels hath acquainted himself with the things forementioned: for Travels by Land are like Voyages by Sea, unsafe without a skilful Pilot. And furthermore take along with thee, these few advices and necessary cautions, which I shall give thee.

First be grave, sober, and reserved; Momus found great fault, that the great [Page 151] Creator had not made men with Win­dows in their Breasts, that men might have seen into their insides; and a bold Atheist he was, that thus durst impeach the wisdom of God: but sure I am, 'tis a very grand folly for any man to make as it were such a Window in his own Breast, especially when he Travels into foreign Countries; the way to put by those mischiefs which may befall thee in thy Travels, is to lye at a close guard; and not be like Cristal, for every one to see through thee.

If thou travellest into Italy, munite thy self there from three things most especially,

  • The Men.
  • The Women.
  • The Inquisition.

For the Men there are very jealous and vindicative; the Women unchast and al­lective, and very much affected with the English above all men; and the Inquisi­tion is like Hell, from whence there is no Redemption: to avoid which in all those Countries where that is set up, take [Page 152] heed of raising disputes concerning mat­ters of Religion; for this will make thee guilty of as rash a madness, and as huge an imprudence, as that of the Quaker, who resolved to go from London to Rome to confute and convert the Pope. If thou thinkest him to be Antichrist, let no man however hear thee call him so in his own Territories and Dominions: Learn more wit of that Collier, who durst not bid a Fig for my Lord Mayor, till he had got beyond Temple-Bar, which is out of the Limits of his juris­diction. One of our Countrymen in­tending in his Travels to visit Rome, was highly commended for his rare parts and abilities in all manner of Learn­ing to his Holiness; who was then by birth an Englishman: who, upon his commendatory Letters, the more to shew honour and respect due to the merits of the Gentleman, went himself in person to shew him the Vatican; where after ma­ny Discourses, and the turning over of many Books, he took him aside in­to one of the Criel Windows and con­jured him to tell him ingeniously his [Page 153] thoughts of the Pope; assuring him with many deep promises and protestations, that he should not be prejudiced by it in the least; whereupon the Gentleman freely told him, that he thought the Pope to be a great Wen, growing in the Nape of the Churches neck, which some foolish people mistook to be the head of it. This was a very bold, but withall a very dangerous resolution of the Question, notwithstanding all ingagements passed for his security: since it is a Maxim a­mongst all of the Romish perswasion,

Nullam fidem tenendam esse cum Hae­reticis.

That no Faith is to be kept with Here­ticks.

My last Advice in the point concern­ing Travelling into other Countries shall be this; be sure before thou visit other Nations and Kingdoms, to acquaint thy self well, with the knowledge of that in which thou hast been born and bred: for it will be a great shame, to be [Page 154] inquisitive into what is done abroad in other Countries, and to be wholly igno­rant how things stand at home in thine own: for this were to do as the La­miae, who carried their Eyes shut up in a Box, when they were at home, and put them into their Heads only, when they went abroad.

XCVI. To conclude, be useful where thou dost live, that those who live a­bout, by, and with thee, may both want and wish for thy presence still. Be tem­perate and sober at thy Meals and Com­potations; and look to thy Mouth, for there commonly most diseases enter; and more graves are made with mens teeth than their hands, and the Knife kills more than the Sword. When thou art invited to an extraordinary etertain­ment, that thou mayest not be tempted to exceed the bounds of temperance, and sobriety, Carve or Discourse; he who Carves is kind to two, he that Discourses is kind to all. Scorn no mans love, though he be of never so mean degree, that person deserves to be bitten by that Dog whom he will not stroak, [Page 155] when he kindly sawns upon him. Much less make any one though never so much below thy self, justly thy Enemy; re­membring that Fleas can bite as well as Lions, and that Bees can sting as well as Serpents. Pitch thy Behaviour low, thy projects high: Be humble to thy Su­periours, gentle to thine Equals, affable to thine inseriours, courteous to all. Be not light to follow every mans opinion; like a young Spaniel, that quests at eve­ry Bird that rises before him: Etiam ab errore facilè discedere, levitatis est, saith Scaliger, to discede over easily, e­ven from an Errour, argues too much levity: yet would I not have thee per­versly obstinate in thy own courses or opinions: it is the Character of a Fool to abhor instruction; hard Wax will ne­ver take any impression, and Wisdom will never commit Burglary, to break in upon those who lock and Bolt their doors against her; though a man cast an empty Bottle into the Ocean, yet if it be close corkt, it will still be but an empty Bottle. Amongst all those Trea­tises which may leave thee Wiser than [Page 156] they found thee, I commend to thy frequent reading the Proverbs of King Solomon, and his Ecclesiastes or the Preacher. Finally (my Son) serve, love, and fear God; to whose Grace, Mercy, and Protection I leave thee: And so farewel, until we meet in another World.



Which together with some smaller lite­ral faults the Courteous Reader is desired to excuse and with his Pen to amend.

Page 5. line 17. read Patrizare for Patricare. p. 20. l. 24. r. quo (que) for qui (que) p. 27. l. 16. r. not for no. l. 28. r. the Hen had untr [...] there, for he had untrust a point there. p. 28. l. 12 [...] [...]onabus nostris, for Nebulonibus nostris.

Other Faults there may be, but they are not worth speaking of, and therefore I shall not speak much of them: But let the Reader take this for good advice, and as a general rule, never to read any Book whatsoever, until he has corrected the faults (if they are collected in an Er­rata) for so he shall prevent the com­mitting any himself.


October 26. 1672.
R. L.

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