THE DOCTORS LAST VVIL AND TESTAMENT, BEING A MOST PLEASANT DIALOGUE BETWEEN DOCTOR COUSIN and a Fellow of his owne Colledge, desiring him to resigne his Mastership.
Printed in the yeare, 1641.
THE DOCTORS LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT.
REverend Doctor, both the president, and all the rest of the Fellowes, Schollers, and Students in our Colledge, humbly remembring and presenting their service unto you even unto the finall event, doe beseech you to resigne the Mastership that the Colledge may neither suffer detriments, nor the Collegiates disgrace by your immature death.
Sir, I congratulate your presence together with your message, I will fully answer your expectation therein, but you shall first permit me to transcurre some circumstances, which I would gladly have resolved unto me.
Aske and require what you please, 'tis your servants duty to submit, and he will resolve you to the utmost of his intelligence.
What? Does the Chappell retaine its former Ornaments.
But few of them as yet are erected.
It argues then that some are neglected; and I pray thee what are those few. Does not the Crosse stand still: I hope they have not rejected the Crucifix, have they.
Sir, that remaines, and have long expected your comming, although frustrated thereof.
My desires have beene ardent, and my affection fervent to have come divers times to visit my Daughter, but these shackles (a poxe on the inventor of them) have drawne me backe; but if it remaines, doe they not worship it still, as in time past, when I was Patron over it?
Some red-hot Zelots like your selfe doe observe the ceremoniall rights, and ecclesiasticall innovations, and will not omit the least Canonicall duty, but do still bow as popishly to it, as ever you did your self present.
I doe extoll them with a meritorious collaudation.
But some others whose devotion is more pious and religious, do despise it with a detestable contempt.
Why doe you not punish them by restriction, and castigation, O why doe ye not compell them by coerrion.
'Tis vanity for any man to command Arminianise to be observ'd by them whose consciences cannot digest it.
You say true indeed, for had not I commanded things contrary to mens consciences, I had never beene sensible of this misery, to which now I am subjected. But what of the other ceremonies, doe the Pictures and graven Images still remaine.
Those likewise as yet are not abolished.
That does somewhat relate the ambiguity of my thoughts; but doe they worship them too.
Some have not the conscience to looke upon them, and I have heard some say that they had rather see you hangd there then the pictures in your roome.
What audacious impudence is this? why doe you not compell them by more restriction; but does the Altar remaine still, and have ye not yet forgot to burne incense thereto, as in my time, wherein you were very diligent?
Pardon the insolent arrogancie of my too remisse tounge; I have heard some wish that you were sacrificed herein.
Oh! what audacity is this.
Suffer not passion to conquer thus thy captive thoughts, for 'tis a custome in the world, to promulgate whatsoever their conceit nourisheth.
Well, let that passe, Does the Triple Crowne which I built in S. Maries, retain its splendent structure.
But I beseech you permit me to evacuate what my greedy mind desireth to disgorge unto you; I have heard many pray, that your head may be erected there to make up an even number.
This transcends humane patience, for although I have beene patient in many things, yet I remember that Apophthegmatical sentence, Laesa patientia fit furor.
By the same patience, to which you have compelled many to subject themselues in your Pontificiall and Romish innouations, by the same patience I beseech you to eleuate your depressed thoughts.
Since I see there is no remedy but patience, J must embrace that; but how fares the Fellowes of St. Peters Colledge, what doe they judge of me.
Sir, they think that your Masterships Canons will requoile, and their opinion is, that they ought to be new cast, for their Founders miscarry.
There are many will performe that office for [Page 4]me; therefore I shall not need to sollicite my selfe in that point; But does the Colledge flourish in Schollers, are many Fresh-men admitted since my departure.
We have not one Scholar admitted this twelvemonth, and God knowes whether, wee shall have ever againe, as long as you beare the title of their Master, therefore the Colledge did desire me in all their behalfes to exhibite their supplication, beseeching you to resigne your Mastership to some deservable man.
I will grant your petition, with retribution of many thankes, that they are so carefull and indulgent of the Colledges prosperity.
You have spoken with a magnanimous spirit; excuse my insolence herein, Pray have you no hopes of recovering your imprisonment and restitution of your former fortunes.
Troth but very little, all men are so maliciously incensed against me, that I despaire of that.
But do you think they wil deprive you of your life.
That is ambiguous, but if I had had but thus much intelligence heretofore, I could have followed my good friend Finch over the Ocean.
I commend him for't, for if he had stayed any longer, he would have been put in a Cage; but thou mightest have escapen with Windebancke.
There was such a tempestuous storm, that I durst not venter.
I feare it will arise more tempestuous yet.
But I will not detaine thy negotiating mind with any longer ambages, let this suffice thee, and solace the Colledge, with an expresse investigation of comfort that I doe with as great alacrity and cheerefulnesse of minde resigne my place to him who you shal most iudiciously elect as ever I assumed that Title first.
[Page 5]But one thing I shall desire thee to put in execution for me with all expedition, I will precurre the Breviary of my last will and Testament, which I will make.
Sir I highly commend the aspiring sublimit of your magnanimous mind, & for your benefactions which you shall bequeath to the Universitie, the resounding Eccho of your benevelous will shall redound and propagate to late posterity.
Imprimis my true Divinity Bookes (of which I have but very few) I bequeath to the Universitie Library that it may for ever flourish in the prosperous palme of Religion, and may never be more polluted with the contagious infection of Popery, as in my dayes it hath been now too much, God now avert it.
This benignitie God will recompense for your good will and affection bent to the famous Universitie.
Item, my Masse, Popish, and Romish bookes, of which I have many Volumes, I bequeath partly to the poore, that they may warme their fingers this following Winter by them on the Market hill, partly to Tobacconists and Grocers, with the like of that profession.
I likewise comend thy charitable deeds to the poor.
Item, my pictures and Images I devote freely, and withall I divide, partly to the Apple-mongers, partly to Husbandmen, that they may be hangd up to scare Crows.
Sir, I thinke in my conscience that you will performe more commendable and laudable deedes at your departure in your will, then ever you did in your life time.
Item, I bequeath my liberty to the Miter, Crossekeyes, and the Popes head in Cambridge, for I did so often frequent those three places, that no Scholler dare come but he should finde me there, wherefore now I set them [Page 6] [...] liberty in this my Testament.
For that act you shall incur the prayers of many.
Item, I bequeath my honesty to all the women in Cambridge, for their children are so ingenious, that their Husbands are perswaded that they are not their owne.
Oh what blessings will the good men accumulate upon you for that benefit in giving chastity to their wives, for I have oftentimes heard that Schollers would sometimes dispute with them in Folio.
Item, I devove understanding to the Maior, for he imployes himselfe so earnestly to the Plough & Cart, that he cannot understand the height of his office.
'Tis the best gem that thou couldst have adorned him with; for riches or Authority without understanding is like a precious Jewell in a swines snowt.
Item, my Bible in Folio, with a Comment, I bequeath to the Doctors, desiring them from my heart, that they would make truer use of it then ever I did.
That likewise is a meritorious deed.
Item, my Latin tongue I bequeath partly to the Beadles, that they may learne to speak true Latin, partly to Trinity Hall to the Lawyers, that they may write true Latin, and not breake Priseans head so often as they doe.
They have both iust cause to elevate thy iudicious understanding above the Poles, for that thou hast given them the greatest benefit that could have beene wisht for, whose way have beene too long obrubilated in obscurity, but thou hast reduced them from that errour into the bright and irradiating path of wisdome.
Lastly, I have three lives to bequeath, one life I devove to the Doctors and Bishops, that they may live to see the Church in a true Reformation. The second life I bequeath to Clare Hall in Cambride, that they may live to [Page 7]see their Colledge built; the third and last life I [...] willingly bequeath to my self, that I might live and [...] these things performed.
I never heard a more ingenious VVill composed, that thou shouldst leave thy self so rare a benefit, but I fea [...] thy last wish will scarce be granted, thou shouldst have foreseen that before, for now, alas, I fear it will be too late, and thou maist well expound the Apologation of th [...]t sentence to thy self. Sero sapiunt Phryges.
I leave that to the ambiguous rotation of doubtfull Fortune, whose certainty is never more sound then in her own uncertainty: But for thy part labour with sedulous diligence, and diligent sedulitie, to avoid those pernicious enormities, which I have falne into.
By Gods divine providence and omnipotent assistance I will alwayes extirpate evill seeds out of the Church.
VVell, I will now contract my self in brief: I beseech thee see my VVill performed in diligent execution, and remember me in my last breath to the whole Vniversitie, desiring their pardon, and to the Colledge, desiring them at their pleasure to elect a new Master, for I resigne my title therein.