A New and Pleasant HISTORY OF unfortunate Hodg OF THE SOVTH: Very pleasant and delightfull to be read.
BY H. Crouch.
LONDON, Printed for T. Leeke, dwelling in Secole lane, 1655.
CHAP. 1. The unfortunate Hodge of the SOUTH.
HOdge being born in the South, in a dull Clymate, had bad fortune, little wit, crump shoulderd, crook backt, goggle eyed, splayefooted, crooked legs, and so deformed, that he was hated of man woman, and child, insomuch, that he was constrained to travel from the South the place of his abode to the North, to seek his fortune; and comming to a Gentlemans house, knocked at the dore, and the Gentlemen of the house opened the dore himself, but when he saw such a deformed creature, he was amazed, and thought it had beed the devil, but Hodge cryed out, sir, be not afraid, I am a poore young man that wants a service; thou lyest quoth the gentleman, thou art the devill no (quoth Hodg) I am Hodge, let me feel thee quoth the Gentleman, whether thou art flesh and blood or no; when hee found how it was, the Gentleman entertained him into his service only to make him sport.
CHAP. 2. How Hodge was sent of an Errand by his Master, and what hapned.
NOw it was so that the servants of the house could not endure Hodge being such a deformed creature, that the like was never seen in any Country before, insomuch that they plotted all that they could against him, and complained much of him to their Master, although he behaved himself never so well amongst them. Vpon a time the Gentleman had occasion to send one of an Errand seven mlies [Page 2] mlies from that place, and calling to his houshould servants, asked them who was at most leasure to go of an Errand for him, they all replyd that rog [...] Hodg. for he hath nothing else to do, so the Gentleman sent Hodge with a letter seven miles from that place, but when Hodge came to the house where he was to deliver the letter, the servants of the house were all so afraid, that they ran in and told their Master, that of a certain the devil was [...] the dore, and for ought they knew, had brought [...] letter to him from hel, the master in a maze ran to the dore, and asked Hodge what he was, and what business he had there, Hodge replyed I am poor [...] Hodge, the devil thou art quoth the Gentleman, [...] am quoth Hodge, and have brought you a lette [...] from my master, so when the Gentleman had received. the letter, he bid him remember his love to hi [...] master, but send the devil no more to him but Hodg was no sooner gone, but the servants of the house see the dogs at pore Hodge, and beat him sorely with staves, and afterwards reported abroad that they had beat the devil
CHAP. 3. How Hodge return [...]d home to his Master, and wha [...] hapned him by the way.
NOW poore hodge being so pi [...]ifully beaten by these Gentlemans servants, as also very ho [...] [...]weary and s [...]epy▪ and lazy withall, laid himself [...]n under a great oak in the middle of a field, no [...]ure neer him but a stray Ox grazing close by [Page 3] him: now it hapned that Hodge fel fast a sleep, and a company of Theeves comming by, having no money to buy them victuals, nor no victuals to eat, serched Hodges pockets, but finding nothing, resolved to kil the Ox that grazed by him, thinking the Ox to be his in way of revenge, so having killed the ox cut him with their swords in the middle, took halfe the ox with them to rost in the wood, and the other halfe they left behind, they were no sooner gone but the owner of the ox came to seek for his ox, and finding his ox to be killed and halfe of him taken away, and seeing such an ugly Creature ly a sleep, did conclude that Hodge was some devil or some monster that had not only killed his ox, but eaten him halfe up, and so filled his belly so ful, that he was fallen fast a sleep, so when he had awaked him, he examined him what he was, and whose servant hee was, Hodge staring upon him with his great goggle eyes, made the man afraid, told him whose servant he was, the man told him that for his part he tooke him to be some monster, and would apprehend him upon suspition of eating up halfe his ox▪ Hodge denyed it, and▪ told the man when he fel asl [...]ep, hee left the ox alive, but how he came to be so mangled he could not tel▪ nevertheless▪ the man had him home to his master and accused poore Hodge for eating up halfe his ox; his master said it was impossible, but the houshould servants which could not endure Hodg, came all out with one accord, and told their Master there was not such a great eater in all [Page 4] countrey as he was, especially at raw meat, and therefore they did not think it impossible for him to eat up halfe the mans ox, when the Gentleman heard this, he without any more ex [...]mination of the matter▪ delivered him [...]p to the man, the man to the Justice, and the Iustice to the ho [...]se or Co [...] rection, where poore Hodge was severly punished for no offence.
CHAP. 5. How Hodge was delivered out of Prison and sent of another Errand, and what hapned.
AFter Hodge had been sufficiently punished upon suspition of eating halfe the Country mans ox, his master did intend to put him away, in regard the houshould servants could not endere him, but considering within himself that if he should put him away, he would have nōne left to make him merry, therefore upon that consideration he [...] resolved to keep him and send him of an other Errand with a Letter to the same Gentleman he wene to before when he was taken upon suspition of eating halfe the ox and of him to demand forty pounds, giving him charge to bring it home safe, which he promised to do, but when Hodge came [...]er the Gentlemans house, the servants of the house perceiving him, [...]an in to their master and told him the devil was come again to bring him a Letter from hel, when the Gentleman came forth to Hodge, he asked him if his master had none to send but [...]ch a [...] ilfavoured rogue as he was, how soever [Page 5] he took the Letter of him, read it over, and delivered the forty pound in a bag to him, and Hodge gave him an acquittance and departed▪ but the houshould servants had a plot against him, and got him down into the Wine seller, purposely to make him drunck so that he might lose his money by the way as he went home, that if it were possible his master might hang him for the same, so they made poore Hodge so drunck, that he could hardly go out of dores with his bag of money, but he reeled along til he came to the same tree where he lay when he was accused for eating halfe the ox and the [...]e he fel fast a sleep with the bag of money by him. Now there was a Pedler being heavie laden, intended to rest himself under that tree, and finding hodge a sleep with a bag of money lying by him, made bold with the money that was in the bag, and put in his pack, and filled the bag with stones and oken leaves, and when he had done so, he writ some few [...], and put it into Hodges pocket and went his way as fast as he could, now when Hodge awaked and found the bag of money (as he though) lying by him, he was right glad, and said to himself, Lord▪ what honest people live in this Countrey, for I believe there hath been some that have passed by since I fel asleep, yet my bag is here, and my money safe, but when he came to his Master, and delivered the bag to him, behold there was nothing but stones and Oken leaves, which when his Master saw, he called to his servants, and charged them to [Page 6] that rogue Hodge and hang him, for he had conveyed hi [...] money away to some of hi [...] companions and filled the bag with stones and oken leavs; when the servants heard thei [...] Masters charge, they rejoyed great ly, and said he should not lack a hangman, so one of them took him and hanged him before their Master, no sooner was he turned off the Ladder, but hee that hanged him put his hand in his pocket to feel for money, as it is the usuall course for hangmen so to do, but instead of money he fonnd nothing but a peece of paper, wherein was written these lines following, which were writ by the Pedlar.
When the Gentleman read these lines, he perceived that he was cozened of his money as he laid a sleep, and commanded his servants to cut him down before he was dead; but the servants ran all away, and said they would see him hanged before they would cut him down, so the Gentleman was faine [...]o c [...]t him down himself, and thinking with himself [...] Hodg had punishment enough for his fault, dismissed him.
CHAP. 5▪ How Hodge was made Scullion under the Master Cook and what hapned.
NOw the Gentleman called Hodge unto him, and said, Tho [...] whoreson villan I wil never hereafter trust thee to go of any Errand for me, I am now forty pounds the worse for thee, nevertheless I wil put thee into office, and if thou wilt behave thy self wel, thou shalt be scullion under the master Cook, so he called the Cooke, and bid him take Hodge into the Kitchin to him, to help him in his affairs, which he did, but Hodge had better been under the great Turk, for the Cook used him so cruelly that he would not allow him so much as bread to make sops in the pan, so that he was almost starved; upon a time Hodge had stolne some pieces of bread, and made so many sops in the pan, that he made himself so sick that he spued all over the kitchin, the gentleman comming in, asked what beast that was, the Cook said it was that rogue Hodge, who had been abroad among his companion & they had made him drunck, with that the gentleman took the baisting▪ ladle and instead of basting the meat, he basted poore Hodge s [...] sorely, [...]at h [...]e had almost broke his bones.
Chap: 6. How Hodge dressed dinner in the Cooks absence and what hapned.
UPon a time, a certain young Gentlemen, called the master cook forth to be merry with them [Page 8] and left the dinner to be dressed by Hodge, who gave very good content to his Master and all the guess, insomuch, that the gentleman said Hodge was capable to Learn, flow of speech, and willing to suffer, in the mean time the Master Cook did drinck so much among the young gentlemen that he tooke a [...], came home sick and dyed, and it was told the gentleman that the Cook was dead, and that Hodge had poysoned him, the Gentleman said [...]e would have hin, opened, and if there was [...]ny poyson in his body, be would have Hodge hanged without Mercy, if not Hodge should have the Cookes place to make him amends, a Cherurgion was sent for, but no poyson was found in the b [...]dy of the Cook, but the Cherurgion concluded he dyed of a surfer, and so Hodge was made Master Cook.
Chap. 7. How the▪ Cook was buried▪ and how the servants cast Hodge into the grave.
WIthin a while after the Gentleman buried the Cook, and invited a great number of Gentlemen to the b [...]rial, and it was so that there was none stood n [...]er the grave but the honshould servants, and one of the [...] had a winding sheete under his Cloak, add when he saw Hodge he tyed the sheete about him and cast him into the grave, and the other Men laid the dead Man upon him unknown to their Master, but Hodge with much striving up, and ra [...] amongst the people in [...] winding sheet, in such sort, that they though it had been the dead Man [Page 9] that had broke out of the Coffin, and happy was he that coulp get out of the Church first, but hodge cryep out be not afraid, I am poore Hodge, I pray loosen me, that I m [...]y not be smothered, when the people heard him say so, they unbound him, and his Master beat him for scaring them.
Chap. 8. How hodge was cast in the fire by one of the servants.
NOw the indignation of the servants was so great against Hodge, because he was made Master Cook, that one of them came in and cast Hodge into the midst of the si [...]e, hodge cryed ou [...] for help, and not his Master come quickly into the Kitchin hee had been burned, but when he had pulled him out by the heels, he that cast him in told his Master that the rogue had been in the wine [...]eller▪ and had made himself drunck, and so fel into the fi [...]e, when the Naster heard this, he told Hodge if ever hee found him [...] again, he would turn [...]im out of his place.
Chap. 9▪ How one of [...] maids s [...]rved Hodge.
WIthin a while [...], it chauced [...]hat one of the Maids of the house sel down a paire of staires with her Coats abo [...]t her cars, so that her bare butucks was seen, which when Hodge saw, he cast his Cap at it in good wil to hide it, but she tooke the Cap and said, we [...] Hodge i [...] regard thy cap hath horoured my breech, my breech shal honour thy cap▪ and so squerting into it, (she being loosly given) clapped it upon his head, and so dep [...]ed, but when [Page 10] Hodge ran among the servants, they cryed foh, this rogue hath berayed his breeches, the Gentleman hearing a noyse, came running in, and asked what was the matter, Hodge went to put of his Cap to his Master and it all ran down his face and about his shoulders, so that they ran all away, crying out, pox take this rogue he wil choake us all, but when Hodge had washed himself and made himself sweet, he was sent for by his Master, to whom he related how he came in that pickle, whereupon they all fell a laughing at him, which tormented him more than his former punishment.
Chap 10. How Hodge travelled to heaven.
HOdge being generally hated both at home and abroad, was weary of his life, and wished himself in heaven, which when one of the men heard, he said unto him, if thou wilt go to heaven▪ hodge, I wil conduct thee thither, but thou must endure some punishment for thy sins marry quoth hodge I think I have endured punishment enough already, nevertheless I should be content to endure more so I might go to heaven, why then quoth the man strip thee stark naked, and I wil put a cloth before thy eyes, because you must not see which way you go, then wil I take thee by the hand and lead thee to heaven after thou hast had thy punishment: in the mean time he provided six▪ Cart whips for six men, and they were to stand in a long room three on each side to whip poore hodge, which done accordingly, [Page 11] hodge asked the man who they were that whipped him so cruelly, the man told him they were Fryars; Fryars quoth hodge, I pray is there any Fryars in heaven, yea quoth the Man, them that do wel▪ why then quoth hodge I wil not go to heaven, and so ran back again as fast as he could run, and was punished as bad comming back as he was before.
Chap. 11. How hodge was turned out of his place and was made Falconer.
NOw the Gentleman by th [...] perswasions of some of his friends, married with a gallant Da [...]e, b [...]t s [...]e could not endur [...] hodge, but told h [...]r husband, that as long as hodge was Cooke, she would not eat a bit of his dressing, the Gentleman to please his wife, tur [...]d hodge out of his place and made him Falconer, so hodg looked to his Master hawkes▪ having six hawks to feed; but on a time when hodge was absent, one of the servants carryed the hawks out of the house and hid the [...] and set [...]ix Kites in their places; now when Hodge ca [...]e again he fed the Kites as he use to do the hawks, and thought nothing, until such time as his master had an intent to rid [...] a hawking, and then hodge brought a Kite upon his fist like any man: which when [...] master saw he said O thou rogue▪ what hast thou brought [...]e here? a hawk quoth hodge, a hawk quoth the Gentleman, it is a Kite, and fell a beating of hodge, good [...] quoth▪ hodge▪ it is such a hawk as you gave m [...] to keepe unless some witch hath transformed them from hawl [...]es into Kites, but after his Master had beaten him su [...]iciently, [Page 12] the man that took the hawks away brought them again privately, and then the tempest, was over.
Chap. 12. How the Gentleman and his wife were invited to a Feast, and how she went from her husband, because he would not turn away hodge.
THis Gentleman and his wife heing invited to a Feast, and having a very fair orchard and but one Cherry Tree, commanded all the Servants that they should not meddle with that Tree; but as soon a [...] [...]hey were gone, the servants pulled all the fruit off the Tree, and when the master of the house and his wife came home and found all the Cherries [...], they examined the servants, the servants said that rogue hodge had played the rogue and had done all the mischief: the master beat hodge, but that was not all▪ because he did not turn him away, his wife would not live any longer with him but went from him and lived in a wood saying that she had better live there upon roots and herbs, and haws, than to live in a house where such a Rogue as hodge was, whereupon when the master beard of it, he called hodge and said unto him, O th [...] rogue, how long have I kept thee to torment me in this manner, thy [...]istris is gone to live in a Wood, and all long of thee, and before I will lose her I wil turn thee away, when [...]odge had heard him say so, he said unto him, master if that be all, I will warrant you I wil fetch her again, wel [...]oth the [...]aster use thy ▪skil and go thy way▪ hodge goes [...]o a Farmers wife, whom his mistris did not know, and [...]esired her to go along with him upon such an account [Page 13] as you heard before, the woman being better temperd than the houshould servants, went along with him, and comming through the wood his mistris called to him and said hodge, what woman is that with thee? my new mistris quoth hodge, your new mistris quoth she, am not I your mistris, I quoth hodge, but you wil not live with my master, cox bobby qoth she, if any other be there but I, I wil pul out their eyes, and so away she runs home to her husband, and so hodge by his wit brought his mistris home again, and she by her wit turned him out of dores, as you shall heare in the next Chapter.
Chap. 23. How the Mistris made a rogue of hodge▪ and transported him to Lubberland.
NOw the servants told their Mistris that it was hodges roguery to fetch her home again upon that score, which when she heard, she vowed to be revenged of him to the ful, and to that purpose, she rose next morning very early, and called hodge to go along with her, and being neere the Sea, she gave a ship master ten shillings to transport him to Lubberland, where as it is reported, he hath egtheen-pence a day for sleeping, and the next news we hea [...] from Lubberland you shal hear more of him.