The Character of a Country-Committee-man, with the Ear-mark of a Se­questrator.

A Committee-man by his Name should be one that is possessed, there is number enough in it to make an Epithet for Legion. He is Persona in concreto (to borrow the Solecism of a Modern Statesman.) You may translate it by the Red-Bull Phrase, and speak as proper­ly, Enter seven Devils solus. It is a well truss'd Title that contains both the Num­ber and the Beast; for a Committee-man is a Noun of Multitude, he must be spell'd with Figures, like Antichrist wrapp'd in a Pair-Royal of Sixes. Thus the Name is as monstrous as the Man, a complex notion, of the same Lineage with Accumulative Treason. For his Office it is the Heptar­chy, or England's Fritters; it is the broken meat of a crumbling Prince, only the Roy­alty is greater; for it is here as in the Mi­racle of Loaves, the Voyder exceeds the Bill of Fare. The Pope and he rings the Changes; here is the Plurality of Crowns [Page 94] to one Head, joyn them together and there is a Harmony in Discord. The Triple­headed Turn-key of Heaven with the Tripleheaded Porter of Hell. A Commit­tee-man is the Reliques of Regal Govern­ment, but, like Holy Reliques, he out­bulks the Substance whereof he is a Rem­nant. There is a score of Kings in a Com­mittee, as in the Reliques of the Cross there is the number of twenty. This is the Gyant with the hundred hands that wields the Scepter; the Tyrannical Bead-Roll by which the Kingdom prays back­ward, and at every Curse drops a Com­mittee man. Let Charles be wav'd, whose condescending Clemency aggravates the Defection, and make Nero the Question, better a Nero than a Committee. There is less Execution by a single Bullet, than by Case-shot.

Now a Committee man is a party-co­lour'd Officer. He must be drawn like Ia­nus with Cross and Pile in his Counte­nance; as he relates to the Souldiers, or faces about to his fleecing the Country. Look upon him Martially, and he is a Ju­stice of War, one that hath bound his Dal­ton up in Buff, and will needs be of the Quorum to the best Commanders. He is one of Mars his Lay-Elders, he shares in [Page 95] the Government, though a Non-conformist to his bleeding Rubrick. He is the like Sectary in Arms, as the Platonick is in Love, keeps a fluttering in Discourse, but proves a Haggard in the Action. He is not of the Souldiers and yet of his Flock. It is an Emblem of the Golden Age (and such in­deed he makes it to him) when so tame a Pigeon may converse with Vultures. Me­thinks a Committee hanging about a Gover­nour, and Bandileers dangling about a fur'd Alderman have an Anagram Resemblance. There is no Syntax between a Cap of Main­tenance and a Helmet. Who ever knew an Enemy routed by a Grand Jury and a Billa vera? It is a left-handed Garrison where their Authority perches; but the more preposterous the more in fashion; the right hand sights while the left rules the Reigns. The truth is the Souldier and the Gentleman are like Don Quixot and Sancha Pancha, one fights at all Adventures to purchase the other the Government of the Island. A Committee-man properly should be the Governour's Matress to fit his Truckle, and to new-string him with si­news of War; for his chief use is to raise Assessments in the Neighbouring Wapen­take.

The Country people being like an Irish [Page 96] Cow that will not give down her Milk, un­less she see her Calf before her: Hence it is he is the Garrison's Dry-Nurse, he chews their Contribution before he feeds them; so the poor Souldiers live like Trochilus by picking the Teeth of this sacred Croco­dile.

So much for his Warlike or Ammuniti­on-Face, which is so preternatural, that it is rather a Vizard than a Face; Mars in him hath but a blinking Aspect, his Face of Arms is like his Coat, Partie per pale, Soul­dier and Gentleman much of a scantling.

Now enter his Taxing and deglubing Face, a squeezing Look, like that of Vespa­sianus, as if he were bleeding over a Close­stool.

Take him thus, and he is in the Inquisi­tion of the Purse an Authentick Gypsie, that nips your Bung with a Canting Ordi­nance: not a murthered Fortune in all the Country but bleeds at the Touch of this Malefactor. He is the Spleen of the Body Politick that swells it self to the Consum­ption of the Whole. At first indeed he Ferreted for the Parliament, but since he hath got off his Cope he set up for himself. He lives upon the Sins of the People, and that is a good standing Dish too. He veri­fies the Axiom, Iisdem nutritur ex quibus [Page 97] componitur; his Diet is suitable to his Con­stitution. I have wondred often why the plundred Country-men should repair to him for succour; certainly it is under the same Notion, as one whose Pockets are pick'd goes to Mal Cut-purse, as the Predo­minant in that Faculty.

He out-dives a Dutch man, gets a Noble of him that was never worth six pence; for the poorest do not escape, but Dutch-like, he will be dreyning even in the driest Ground. He aliens a Delinquent's Estate with as little Remorse, as his other Holiness gives away an Heretick's Kingdom; and for the truth of the Delinquency, both Chapmen have as little share of Infallibi­lity. Lye is the Grand Salad of Arbitrary Government, Executor to the Star-cham­ber and the High-Commission; for those Courts are not extinct, they survive in him, like Dollars changed into single Money. To speak the truth, he is the Universal Tribunal: for since these Times all Causes fall to his Cognizance; as in a great Infecti­on all Diseases turn oft to the Plague. It concerns our Masters the Parliament to look about them; if he proceedeth at this rate, the Jack may come to swallow the Pike, as the Interest often eats out the Prin­cipal. As his Commands are great, so he [Page 98] looks for a Reverence accordingly. He is punctual in exacting your Hat, and to say, Right his due, but by the same Title as the upper Garment is the Vails of the Execu­tioner. There was a time when such Cat­tel would hardly have been taken upon suspicion for Men in office, unless the old Proverb were renewed, That the Beggars make a Free Company, and those their Wardens. You may see what it is to hang together. Look upon them severally, and you cannot but fumble for some Threds of Charity. But oh, they are Termagants in Conjunction! like Fidlers, who are Rogues when they go single, and joyn'd in Con­sort, Gentlemen Musicianers. I care not much if I untwist my Committee-man, and so give him the Receit of this Grand Ca­tholicon.

Take a State-martyr, one that for his good Behaviour hath paid the Excise of his Ears, so suffered Captivity by the Land-Piracy of Ship-money; next a Primitive Freeholder, one that hates the King be­cause he is a Gentleman, transgressing the Magna Charta of Delving Adam. Add to these a Mortified Bankrupt, that helps out his false Weights with some Scruples of Conscience, and with his peremptory Scales can doom his Prince with a Mene Tekel. [Page 99] These with a new blew-stockin'd Justice, lately made of a good Basket-hilted Yeo­man, with a short-handed Clerk, tack'd to the Rear of him to carry the Knapsack of his Understanding; together with two or three Equivocal Sirs, whose Religion, like their Gentility, is the Extract of their A­cres; being therefore Spiritual, because they are Earthly; not forgetting the Man of the Law, whose Corruption gives the Hogan to the sincere Juncto. These are the Simples of this Precious Compound; a kind of Dutch Hotch-Potch, the Hogan Mogan Committee-man.

The Committee-man hath a Side-man, or rather a Setter, hight a Sequestrator, of whom you may say, as of the Great Sul­tan's Horse, where he treads the Grass grows no more. He is the States Cormo­rant, one that fishes for the publick, but feeds himself; the misery is, he fishes with­out the Cormorant's Property, a Rope to strengthen the Gullet, and to make him disgorge. A Sequestratour! He is the Devil's Nut-hook, the Sign with him is always in the Clutches. There are more Monsters retain to him, than to all the Limbs in Anatomy. It is strange Physici­ans do not apply him to the Soles of the Feet in a desperate Fever, he draws far [Page 100] beyond Pigeons. I hope some Mounte­bank will slice him and make the Experi­ment. He is a Tooth drawer once remo­ved; here is the difference, one applauds the Grinder, the other the Grist. Never till now could I verifie the Poet's Descrip­tion, that the ravenous Harpie had a Hu­mane Visage. Death himself cannot quit scores with him; like the Demoniack in the Gospel, he lives among Tombs, nor is all the Holy Water shed by Widows and Orphans a sufficient Exorcism to dispossess him. Thus the Cat sucks your breath, and the Fiend your blood; nor can the Bro­therhood of Witch-finders, so sagely in­stituted with all their Terrour, wean the Familiars.

But once more to single out my emboss'd Committee-man; his Fate (for I know you would fain see an end of him) is either a whipping Audit, when he is wrung in the Withers by a Committee of Examinations, and so the Spunge weeps out the Moisture which he had soaked before; or else he meets his Passing-peal in the clamorous Mutiny of a Gut-foundred Garrison: for the Hedge-sparrow will be feeding the Cuckow, till he mistake his Commons and bites off her head. What-ever it is, it is within his desert: for what is observed of [Page 101] some Creatures, that at the same time they Trade in productions three Stories high, Suckling the first, Big with the second and Clicketing for the third: a Committee-man is the Counterpoint, his Mischief is Superfetation, a certain Scale of Destructi­on; for he ruines the Father, beggars the Son, and strangles the hopes of all Poste­rity.

The Character of a Diurnal-maker.

A Diurnal-maker is the Sub-almoner of History, Queen Mabs Register, one whom, by the same Figure that a North-country Pedlar is a Merchant-man, you may style an Author. It is like over­reach of Language, when every Thin, Tinder-cloak'd Quack must be called a Doctor; when a clumsie Cobler usurps the Attribute of our English Peers and is vamp'd a Translator. List him a Writer, and you smother Geoffry in Swabber-slops; the very name of Dabler over-sets him; he is swallowed up in the phrase, like Sir S. L. in a great Saddle, nothing to be seen, but the Giddy Feather in his Crown. They call him a Mercury, but he becomes the [Page 102] Epithet, like the little Negro mounted up­on an Elephant, just such another Blot Rampant. He has not Stuffings sufficient for the Reproach of a Scribler; but it hangs about him like an old Wifes Skin, when the Flesh hath forsaken her, lank and loose. He defames a good Title as well as most of our Modern Noble Men; those Wens of Greatness, the Body Politick's most pec­cant Humours, Blistred into Lords. He hath so Raw-bon'd a Being, that how­ever you render him, he rubs it out and makes Rags of the Expression. The silly Country-man, who seeing an Ape in a Scarlet-coat, bless'd his young Worship, and gave his Landlord joy of the hopes of his House, did not slander his Complement with worse Application, than he that names this Shred an Historian. To call him an Historian is to knight a Mandrake: 'tis to view him through a Perspective, and by that gross Hyperbole to give the Re­putation of an Engineer to a Maker of Mouse-traps. Such an Historian would hardly pass muster with a Scotch Stationer in a Sieveful of Ballads and Godly Books. He would not serve for the Breast-plate of a begging Grecian. The most cramp'd Compendium that the Age hath seen since all Learning hath been almost torn into [Page 103] Ends, outstrips him by the Head. I have heard of Puppets that could prattle in a Play, but never saw of their Writings be­fore. There goes a Report of the Holland Women, that together with their Chil­dren, they are delivered of a Sooterkin, not unlike to a Rat, which some imagine to be the Off-spring of the Stoves. I know not what Ignis fatuus adulterates the Press but it seems much after that fashion, else how could this Vermin think to be a Twin to a Legitimate Writer; when those weekly Fragments shall pass for History, let the poor man's Box be entituled the Exchequer, and the Alms-basket a Maga­zine. Not a Worm that gnaws on the dull Scalp of Voluminous Hollinshed, but at e­very Meal devour'd more Chronicle, than his Tribe amounts to. A Marginal Note of W. P. would serve for a Winding-sheet, for that man's Works, like thick-skinn'd Fruits, are all Rinde, fit for nothing but the Authors Fate to be pared in a Pil­lory.

The Cook, who serv'd up the Dwarf in a Pye (to continue the Frolick) might have lapp'd up such an Historian as this in the Bill of Fare. He is the first Tincture and Rudiment of a Writer, dipp'd as yet in the preparative Blew, like an Almannack [Page 104] Well-willer. He is the Cadet of a Pam­phleteer, the Pedee of a Romancer; he is the Embryo of a History slink'd before Ma­turity. How should he Record the Issues of Time, who is himself an Abortive? I will not say but that he may pass for an Hi­storian in Garbier's Academy; he is▪ much of the size of those Knot-grass Professors. What a pitiful Seminary was there project­ed! yet sutable enough to the present U­niversities, those dry Nurses, which the Providence of the Age has so fully re­form'd, that they are turn'd Reformado's: But that's no matter, the meanner the bet­ter. It is a Maxim observable in these days, That the only way to win the Game is to play Petty Iohns. Of this number is the Esquire of the Quill; for he hath the Grudging of History, and some Yawnings accordingly. Writing is a Disease in him, and holds like a Quotidian; so 'tis his In­firmity that makes him an Author, as Ma­homet was beholding to the Falling-sick­ness to vouch him a Prophet. That nice Artificer, who filed a Chain so thin and light, that a Flea could trail it (as if he had work'd Short hand, and taught his Tools to Cypher) did but contrive an Em­blem for this Skip-Jack and his slight pro­ductions.

[Page 105]Methinks the Turk should license Diur­nals, because he prohibits Learning and Books. A Library of Diurnals is a Ward­robe of Frippery; 'tis a just Idea of a Limbo of the Infants. I saw one once that could write with his Toes, by the same token I could have wished he had worn his Copies for Socks; 'tis he without doubt from whom the Diurnals derive their Pedigree, and they have a Birth right accordingly, being shuffled out at the bed's feet of History. To what infinite numbers an Historian would multiply, should he [...]umble into Elves of this Profession? To supply this smalness they are fain to joyn Forces, so they are not singly but as the Custom is in a Croaking Committee. They tug at the Pen, like slaves at the Oar, a whole Bank together; they write in the Posture that the Suedes gave fire in, over one another's heads. It is said there is more of them go to a Suit of Cloaths than to a Britannicus: in this Polygamy the Cloaths breed, and cannot determine whose Issue is Lawfully begotten.

And here I think it it were not amiss to take a particular how he is accoutred, and so do by him as he in his Siquis for the Wall-ey'd Mare, or the Crop Flea-bitten, give you the Marks of the Beast. I begin [Page 106] with his Head, which is ever in Clouts, as if the Night-cap should make Affidavit, that the Brain was pregnant▪ To what purpose doth the Pia Mater lie in so dully in her white Formalities: sure she hath had hard Labour; for the Brows have squeezed for it, as you may perceive by his Butter'd Bon grace, that Film of a De­micastor; 'tis so thin and unctuous that the Sun-beams mistake it for a Vapour, and are like to Cap him; so it is right Heliotrope, it creaks in the Shine and flaps in the Shade: whatever it be, I wish it were able to call in his ears. There's no proportion between that Head and Appurtenances; those of all Lungs are no more fit for that small Noddle of the Circumcision, than Brass Bosses for a Geneva-Bible. In what a puzzling Neu­trality is the poor Soul that moves be­twixt two such ponderous Biasses? His Collar is edg'd with a piece of peeping Linnnen, by which he means a Band; 'tis the Forlorn of his Shirt crawling out of his Neck: indeed it were time that his Shirt were jogging; for it has serv'd an Appren­tiship and (as Apprentices use) it hath learn­ed its Trade too, to which effect 'tis marching to the Paper-mill, and the next week sets up for it self in the shape of a Pamphlet. His Gloves are the shavings of [Page 107] his Hands; for he casts his Skin like a can­cell'd Parchment. The Itch represents the broken Seals. His Boots are [...]he Legacies of two black Jacks, and till he pawn'd the Silver that the Jacks were tipp'd with, it was a pretty Mode of Boot-hose-tops. For the rest of his Habit he is a per­fect Sea-man, a kind of Tarpawlin, he be­ing hang'd about with his course Compo­sition, those Pole-davie Papers.

But I must draw to an end; for every Character is an Anatomy-lecture, and it fares with me in this of the Diurnal-maker, as with him that reads on a begg'd Male­factor, my Subject smells before I have gone thorow with him; for a parting Blow then. The word Historian imports a sage and solemn Author; one that curles his Brow with a sullen Gravity, like a Bull-neck'd Presby­ter, since the Army hath got him off his Juris­diction, who Presbyter like sweeps his Breast with a Reverend Beard, full of Native Moss-Troopers: not such a squirting Scribe as this, that's troubled with the Rickets, and makes penny-worths of History. The Col­lege-Treasury that never had in Bank a­bove a Harry-groat, shut up there in a me­lancholick solitude, like one that is kept to keep possession, had as good Evidence to shew for his Title, as he for an Histori­an: [Page 108] so, if he will needs be an Historian, he is not Cited in the Sterling acceptation, but after the Rate of Blew-caps Reckoning, an Historian Scot. Now a Scotch-man's Tongue runs high Fullams. There is a Cheat in his Idiom; for the sence Ebbs from the bold Expression, like the Citizen's Gallon, which the Drawer interprets but half a Pint. In summ; a Diurnal-maker is the Antimark of an Historian; he differs from him as a Dril from a Man, or (if you had rather have it in the Saints Gibbrish) as a Hinter doth from a Holder-forth.

The Character of a London-Diurnal.

A Diurnal is a puny Chronicle, scarce Pin-feather'd with the wings of Time. It is a History in Sippets: The English Ili­ads in a Nutshel: The Apocryphal Parlia­ment's Book of Maccabees in single sheets. It would tire a Welshman to reckon up how many Aps 'tis removed from an Annal: for it is of that Extract, only of the young­er House, like a Shrimp to a Lobster. The Original Sinner in this kind was Dutch, Gallobelgicus the Protoplast, and the mo­dern Mercuries but Hans-en-kelders. The Countess of Zealand was brought to bed of [Page 109] an Almanack, as many Children as days in the year. It may be the Legislative Lady is of that Linage, so she spawns the Diurnals, and they at Westminster take them in Ado­ption by the names of Scoticus, Civicus, Britannicus. In the Frontispiece of the old Beldam Diurnal, like the Contents of the Chapter, sitteth the House of Commons judging the twelve Tribes of Israel. You may call them the Kingdoms Anatomy be­fore the weekly Kalendar; for such is a Diurnal, the day of the Month with what Weather in the Commonwealth. It is taken for the Pulse of the Body Politick, and the Emperick-Divines of the Assembly, those Spiritual Dragooners, thumb it according­ly. Indeed it is a pretty Synopsis; and those Grave Rabbies (though in the point of Di­vinity) trade in no larger Authors. The Country-carrier, when he buyes it for the Vicar, miscals it the Urinal; yet properly enough, for it casts the Water of the State ever since it staled Blood. It differs from an Aulicus, as the Devil and his Exorcist, or as a black Witch doth from a white one, whose office is to unravel her Enchant­ments.

It begins usually with an Ordinance, which is a Law still-born, dropt before quickned by the Royal Assent. 'Tis one of [Page 110] the Parliament's By-blows, Acts only be­ing Legitimate, and hath no more Sire than a Spanish Gennet that is begotten by the Wind.

Thus their Militia, like its Patron Mars, is the Issue only of the Mother, without the Concourse of Royal Iupiter: Yet Law it is, if they Vote it, in defiance to their Fundamentals; like the old Sexton, who swore his Clock went true, whatever the Sun said to the contrary.

The next Ingredient of a Diurnal is Plots, horrible Plots, which with wonder­ful Sagacity it hunts dry-foot, while they are yet in their Causes, before Materia pri­ma can put on her Smock. How many such fits of the Mother have troubled the King­dom; and for all Sir W. E. looks like a Man-Midwife, not yet delivered of so much as a Cushion? But Actors must have Pro­pertie [...]; and since the Stages were voted down, the only Play-house is at West­minster.

Suitable to their Plots are their Infor­mers, Skippers and Taylors, Spaniels both for the Land and Water. Good conscio­nable Intelligence! For however Pym's Bill may inflame the reckoning, the honest Vermine have not so much for Lying as the Publick Faith.

[Page 111]Thus a zealous Botcher in Moorfields, while he he was contriving some Quirpo­cut of Church-Government, by the help of his outlying Ears and the Otacousticon of the Spirit, discovered such a Plot, that Selden intends to combat Antiquity, and maintain it was a Taylor's Goose that pre­serv'd the Capitol.

I wonder my Lord of Canterbury is not once more all-to-be-traytor'd, for deal­ing with the Lions to settle the Com­mission of Array in the Tower. It would do well to cramp the Articles dormant, besides the opportunity of reforming these Beasts of the Prerogative, and changing their profaner names of Harry and Charles into Nehemiah and Eleazar.

Suppose a Corn-cutter being to give little Isaac a cast of his Office should fall to pa­ring his Brows (mistaking the one end for the other, because he branches at both) this would be a Plot, and the next Diur­nal would furnish you with this Scale of Votes.

Resolv'd upon the Question, That this Act of the Corn-cutter was an absolute Invasion of the Cities Charter in the representative forehead of Isaac.

Resolv'd, That the evil Counsellours about the Corn-cutter are Popishly affected and Ene­mies to the State.

[Page 112] Resolv'd, That there be a publick Thanks­giving for the great deliverance of Isaac's Brow-antlers; and a solemn Covenant drawn up to defie the Corn cutter and all his Works.

Thus the Quixots of this Age fight with the Windmils of their own heads, quell Monsters of their own Creation, make Plots, and then discover them; as who fitter to unkennel the Fox than the Tarrier that is part of him?

In the third place march their Adven­tures; the Roundheads Legend, the Rebels Romance; Stories of a larger size, than the Ears of their Sect, able to strangle the Belief of a Solifidian.

I'll present them in their order. And first as a Whifler before the show enter Stamford, one that trod the Stage with the first, travers'd his ground, made a Leg and Exit. The Country people took him for one that by Order of the Houses was to dance a Morrice through the West of Eng­land. Well, he's a nimble Gentleman; set him upon Banks his Horse in a Saddle rampant, and it is a great question which part of the Centau [...]e shows better tricks.

There was a Vote passing to translate him with all his Equipage into Monumen­tal Gingerbread; but it was crossed by the female Committee, alledging that the Va­lour [Page 113] of his Image would bite their Chil­dren by the Tongues.

This Cubit and half of Commander, by the help of a Diurnal routed his Enemies fifty miles off. It's strange you'll say, and yet 'tis generally believ'd he would as soon do it at that distance as nearer hand. Sure it was his Sword for which the Weapon­salve was invented; that so wounding and healing (like loving Correlates) might both work at the same removes. But the Squib is run to the end of the Rope: Room for the Prodigy of Valour. Madam Atropos in Breeches, Waller's Knight-errantry; and because every Mountebank must have his Zany, throw him in Hazlerig to set off his Story. These two, like Bel and the Dra­gon, are always worshipped in the same Chapter; they hunt in couples, what one doth at the head, the other scores up at the heels.

Thus they kill a man over and over, as Hopkins and Sternhold murder the Psalms with another of the same; one chimes all in, and then the other strikes up as the Saints-Bell.

I wonder for how many Lives my Lord Hopton took the Lease of his Body.

First Stamford slew him, then Waller outkill'd that half a Barr; and yet it is [Page 114] thought the sullen Corps would scarce bleed were both these Manslayers never so near it.

The same goes of a Dutch Headsman, that he would do his office with so much ease & dexterity, that the Head after Execu­tion should stand upon the Shoulders. Pray God Sir William be not Probationer for the place; for as if he had the like knack too, most of those whom the Diurnal hath slain for him, to us poor Mortals seem untoucht.

Thus these Artificers of death can kill the Man without wounding the Body, like Lightning, that melts the Sword and never singes the Scaberd.

This is the William whose Lady is the Conquerour; This is the City's Cham­pion and the Diurnals delight; he that Cuckolds the General in his Commis­sion; for he stalks with Essex, and shoots under his belly, because his Excellency himself is not charged there; yet in all this triumph there is a Whip and a Bell; trans­late but the Scene to Roundway Down, there Hazelrig's Lobsters turned Crabs and craw­led backwards; there poor Sir William ran to his Lady for an use of Consolation. But the Diurnal is weary of the arm of flesh, and now begins an Hosanna to Cromwel; one that hath beat up his Drums clean through [Page 115] the Old Testament; you may learn the Genealogy of our Saviour by the names in his Regiment: the Muster-master uses no other List but the first Chapter of Matthew.

With what face can they object to the King the bringing in of Foreigners, when themselves entertain such an Army of He­brews? This Cromwel is never so valorous as when he is making Speeches for the As­sociation; which nevertheless he doth somewhat ominously with his Neck awry, holding up his ear as if he expected Maho­met's Pigeon to come and prompt him. He should be a Bird of Prey too by his bloody Beak: His Nose is able to try a young Ea­gle, whether she be lawfully begotten. But all is not Gold that gli [...]ters. What we wonder at in the rest of them is natural to him, to kill without Bloodshed; for the most of his Trophies are in a Church win­dow, when a Looking glass would shew him more Superstition. He is so perfect a hater of Images, that he hath defaced God's in his own Countenance. If he deals with men, 'tis when he takes them napping in an old Monument▪ then down goes Dust and A [...]hes, and the stoutest Cavalier is no better. O brave Oliver! Time's Voyder, Subsizer to the Worms▪ in whom Death, who formerly devoured our Ancestors, now [Page 116] chews the cud. He said Grace once as if he would have fallen aboard with the Marquess of Newcastle; nay and the Diur­nal gave you his Bill of fare; but it proved a running banquet, as appears by the Story. Believe him as he whistles to his Cambridge-Teem of Committee-men, and he doth wonders. But holy Men, like the holy Language, must be read backwards. They rifle Colleges to promote Learning, and pull down Churches for Edification. But Sacrilege is entail'd upon him. There must be a Cromwel for Cathedrals as well as Abbeys; a secure sin, whose offence carries its pardon in its mouth: for how shall he be hang'd for Church-robbery, that gives himself the benefit of the Clergy?

But for all Cromwel's Nose wears the Do­minical Letter, compar'd to Manchester, he is but like the Vigils to an Holy day. This, this is the Man of God, so sanctified a Thunderbolt, that Burroughs (in a pro­portionable Blasphemy to his Lord of Hosts) would style him the Archangel giv­ing battel to the Devil.

Indeed as the Angels each of them makes a several Species; so every one of his Soldiers makes a distinct Church. Had these Beasts been to enter into the Ark, it would have puzzled Noah to have sorted [Page 117] them into pairs. If ever there were a Rope of Sand, it was so many Sects twisted into an Association.

They agree in nothing but that they are all Adamites in understanding. It is a sign of a Coward to wink and sight, yet all their Valour proceeds from their Igno­rance.

But I wonder whence their General's purity proceeds; it is not by Traduction: if he was begotten a Saint it was by equi­vocal Generation; for the Devil in the Father is turn'd Monk in the Son, so his Godliness is of the same Parentage with good Laws, both extracted out of bad manners; and would he alter the Scripture, as he hath attempted the Creed, he might vary the Text, and say to Corruption, Thou art my Father.

This is he that put out one of the King­dom's Eyes by clouding our Mother Uni­versity; and (if this Scotch Mist farther prevail) he will extinguish the other. He hath the like quarrel to both because both are strung with the same Optick Nerve, Knowing Loyalty.

Barbarous Rebel! who will be reveng'd upon all Learning, because his Treason is beyond the Mercy of the Book.

The Diurnal as yet hath not talk'd much [Page 118] of his Victories, but there is the more be­hind; for the Knight must always beat the Giant, that's resolv'd.

If any thing fall out amiss which cannot be smother'd, the Diurnal hath a help at maw. It is but putting to Sea and taking a Danish Fleet, or brewing it with some suc­cess out of Ireland, and then it goes down merrily.

There are more Puppets that move by the wyre of a Diurnal, as Brereton and Gell, two of Mars his Petty-toes, such snive­ling Cowards, that it is a favour to call them so. Was Brereton to fight with his Teeth (as in all other things he resembles the Beast) he would have odds of any man at the weapon. O he's a terrible Slaughter-man at a Thanksgiving Dinner! Had he been cannibal to have eaten those that he vanguish'd, his Gut would have made him valiant.

The greatest wonder is at Fairfax, how he comes to be a Babe of Grace, certainly it is not in his personal, but (as the State-Sophies distinguish) in his Politick Capa­city; regenerate ab extra by the Zeal of the House he sate in, as Chickens are hatcht at Grand Cairo by the Adoption of an Oven.

There is the Woodmonger too, a feeble [Page 119] Crutch to a declining Cause; a new Branch of the old Oak of Reformation.

And now I speak of Reformation, Vous avez, Fox the Tinker, the liveliest Emblem of it that may be: for what did this Par­liament ever go about to reform, but Tinkerwise, in mending one hole they made Three?

But I have not Ink enough to cure all the Tetters and Ringworms of the State.

I will close up all thus. The Victories of the Rebels are like the Magical Com­bat of Apule [...]us, who thinking he had slain three of his Enemies, found them at last but a Triumvirate of Bladders. Such, and so empty are the Triumphs of a Diurnal, but so many Impostumated Phancies, so many Bladders of their own blowing.

The Piece of a Common Place upon Romans the 4th. Last Verse.
Who was delivered for our Offences, and rose again for our Iustification.

THE Athenians had two sorts of Ho­ly Mysteries, two distinct times, No­vember and August, for their Celebration: but when King Demetrius desir'd to be ad­mitted into their Fraternity, and see both their Solemnities at once, the People past a Decree, that the Month March, when the King requested it, should be call'd No­vember, and after the Ceremonies due to that Month were finished, it should be translated to August, and so at the second return of this new Leap year they accom­plished his Request. Two greater Myste­ries are the parts of my Text, the Passion and the Resurrection; several times appro­priate for either Good Friday or Easter. But as the Athenian Decree made Novem­ber and August meet in March, so give me lieve by a less Syncope of Time to contract Good Friday and Easter both to a day, as the Passion and Resurrection are both in my Text; Who was delivered for our offen­ces, [Page 162] &c. And I may the rather link them both on a day, because the Text is willing to admit some Resemblance. The Even­ing and the Morning make the day, saith the Holy Spirit; the Method of my Text observes as much: here is the Evening, the Passion, when our Saviour strip'd him­self of those Rags of Mortality, and lay down in the Bed of Corruption, where he stays not long; but the Morning breaks in the Resurrection, when this Corruptible shall put on Incorruption, and this Mortal shall put on Immortality. So then my Text is a Day from Sun to Sun, Soles occidere & redire possunt, from the Sun-set of his Pas­sion to the Sun-rise of his Resurrection.

The Dew of his Birth is as the Dew of the Morning. There is a Morning-Dew and there is an Evening-Dew; the Evening-Dew, the Tears that are shed at the Sun's Funeral, and they may justly decypher the Passion; the Morning-Dew, the Tears of Joy and Welcom at his new Return; and what is that but a Transcript of the Resurrection?

My Discourse then must be changeable, compos'd of a Cloud and a Rain-bow.

[Page 163]A Deluge of Grief-showers down in the Passion, but the Waters will cease, and the Dove will return with a Leaf in her mouth,

Nothing but Joy and Triumph, Pomp and Pageants at the Resurrection. But methinks St. Paul puts new Cloth into an old Gar­ment, mends the Rent of the Passion with the Resurrection. Can the children of the Bride-chamber weep while the Bridegroom is with them? While the Resurrection is in the Text, who can Tune his Soul to la­ment his Passion; again, by the Waters of Babylon is no singing the Songs of Sion. When Grief hath lock'd up the Heart with the story of the Passion, what Key of Mirth can let in the Anthem of the Resur­rection? Different Notes you see, and yet wee'l attempt an Harmony. Bassus and Altus, a Deep Base that must reach as low as Hell to describe the Passion, and thence rebound to a joyful Altus, the high-strain of the Resurrection.

I begin with the Evening, and so I may well style the Passion, since the Horrour thereof turn'd Noon into Night, and made a Miracle maintain my Metaphor. The [Page 164] Sun was obscur'd by Sympathy, and his Darkness points us to a greater Eclipse. The Sun and the Moon, what are they but Parables of our Saviour and the Soul of Man? The Moon is the Soul; I am sure her Spots will not Confute the Similitude. I might here slacken the Reigns of my Comparison, and shew you how the Moon of her self is a dark Body, and what Light she partakes, she receives it from the Sun at second hand. How every Soul is by Nature sinful and in the Shadow of Death, till the Light that lightens the Gentiles, till the day-spring on high visit us. I might pur­sue my Allegory in the Eclipse. The Sha­dow of the Earth intercepts the Beams of the Sun, and so the Moon suffers an Eclipse. Pleasure and Profit, those two Dugs of the World what are they but Earthly sha­dows that Eclipse the Soul, and deprive it of the sweet influence of the Sun of Righteousness. But I hold me to the Me­taphor, my Text will warrant the Paral­lel. As the Moon is Eclipsed by the Earth, so she her self Eclipses the Sun. The Soul is not only sinful, but makes God suffer; [...] is a Physick-word, and signifies the Labour of a Disease. Cure thy self, and there will be no Eclipse in him: Ap­ply but Salve to thy self, and thou'lt heal [Page 165] the Wounds that thy Sins have made. Pas­sus est Deliquium propter Delicta nostra. De­liquium and Delictum proceed both from a Root. He had never been delivered un­to Death, but for the Gaol-delivery of our Offences. See the Difference betwixt God's and Man's Eclipse. Man's sets God and him at odds; God's reconciles them. The Moon when she is Eclipsed is always in Opposition with the Sun. The Soul will sin, though she be at Enmity with God for't: but the Sun when he is Eclipsed is always in Conjunction with the Moon. God will be Friends with Man, though he purchase the Union with his Passion, and seal the Covenant with his own Blood. But that all things which concern the Passion may be miraculous, wee'l proceed in Me­thod and restrain that to Order and Di­stinction, which put Nature out of Frame, and threatned the World with Confusion. Consider then my Text, like the Veil of the Temple rent in twain, [...] and [...], He was delivered for our Offences; nay 'tis rent from top toth' bottom; the same parts will serve for the Resurrection, He rose a­gain for our Iustification.

And well may my Text be divided by the Temple, since our Saviour shadowed both parts of it under that Nation. I will [Page 166] destroy this Temple, and within three days I will build it again. And now▪ I begin with Simon of Cyrene, to bear his Cross, and labour, as he did, under the burthen. The Death of the Cross, all the Languages upon it cannot express it: but we see the Sun better by looking into the Waters, than by affronting his Beams. The only way to comprehend the Sufferings of our Creator, is by feeling the Pulse of the Creature. What shall I say to the Convul­sion of the Rocks? The Lapidary tells you how the Compassionate Turcoise confesseth the Sickness of his Wearer by changing colour. The whole Rocks suffered with our Saviour, they were cleft; and shall not this rend our stony hearts? O that Deucalion's Men were not now a Fable! Caucasus is supple in comparison of our Breasts. Marble can weep, whilest we are Pumices. Moses his Rod will sooner fetch a River out of a Rock, than a Tear from a Rebellious Sinner. The Earthquake is the next Miracle. Tremble thou Earth at the presence of the Lord, at the presence of the God of Iacob. She tottered under the Burden of so great a Sin. She had lost the Author of her being, and so might well be struck with a dead Palsie. 'Tis a good Observation of Aristotle, that among all [Page 167] the absurd Opinions of the old Philoso­phers; who held the Soul to be Fire; some Air, some Water; none ever had so gross a Soul as to conceive it to be Earth. O that in this case we were Earthy-minded! That we were affected with this Religious Pal­sie! Then should we see that Motus Tre­pidationis, the Motion of the Heavens as well as the Earth. We must work out our salvation with fear and trembling. But the Earth hath quaked so long till it hath a­wakened the Dead: nor is it a wonder that the Dead live, when Life it self can die. Heaven descends into the Bowels of the Earth, and, to make up the Anagramm, the Graves open and the Dust ariseth. Thus were all things shuffled, and Nature rung the Bells backwards, as if every Crea­ture desir'd to bear the Burden of our Sa­viour's Elegy. Attendite & videte — Behold and see if ever, there was sorrow like unto my sorrow. Cyrus to be revenged of a River cut it into so many Channels, that it lost its Name. This is the way to allay a Grief, to divide it into so many streams, to pour it into other Bosoms; but even this is denied to our Saviour. The Sons of Zebedee do not now petition to drink his Cup: They would not now be one on his right hand, another on his left; no, he is [Page 168] crucified betwixt two Thieves. The Qua­lity of his Companions augments his Mise­ry. He was born among Beasts, and doth he not die so too? Man without under­standing is like unto a Beast that perisheth. Betwixt two Thieves. You see Vice to Vertue is two to one: Vertue is in the Cen­tre, Vice in the Circumference; vast is the Circuit; Vniversus orbis, the whole World lies in Wickedness, whilst Vertue like the Centre is but an Imaginary point. Thieves, and well too, Barrabbas was too good for him now; mark but their Election; Not him, but Barrabbas. But methinks his Crown might command a Distance; but 'tis a Crown of Thorns: and if you consider well the Troubles annex'd to a Crown, it may seem a Tautology. Every Crown is a Crown of Thorns. See here Cruelty Quar­tering her Arms with Division. Pseudo-Philippus, that Counterfeit of the Mace­donian King, when he was taken by the Romans, had so much honourable Calami­ty indulg'd unto him; Quod de eo tanquam de vero Rege triumpharetur. They Crown him, but 'tis for Sacrifice. They never ac­knowledge him King of the Jews, till up­on the Cross, that so his Title might set off his Misery.

The Answer to the Newark-Summons.

BUT that it argues a greater Courage to pass the Test of a Temptation un­corrupted, than with a timorous Vertue to decline the Trial, so jealous is this Mai­den Garrison of sullying her Loyalty, that she had return'd your Summons without perusal. Which rebound of your Letter, as it were a laudable Coyness to preserve her Integrity; so it is the most compendi­ous Answer to what you propound. For I hope you intend it rather as a Mode and Formality to preface your design, than with expectation of an Issue sutable to your Demands. You cannot imagine this un­tainted Newark, which hath so stoutly de­fended her Honour against several intend­ed Rapes, should be so degenerous from her Virgin Glory as to admit the Court­ship of either your Rival Nations. Having therefore received a Letter subscribed with Competition of both Kingdoms, she won­ders not at your busie endeavour to divert her Trent, since the Thames and Tweed with equal Ambition would crowd into her Channel▪ Which Letter, since it proceed­ed from a Committee, and was directed [Page 170] after the same Garb, as to a Committee-Governour, by putting the Gentlemen and Corporation in equal Commission (though the joyning us together was with Intention to divide us) I shall in satisfaction of yours unanimously desire you to reflect upon the King's Letter, lately sent to both Houses of Parliament, where, in a full Comply­ance with all their Desires upon the softest Terms, and gentlest Conditions that ever Prince propounded, he offers to disband all his Forces, and dismantle his Garrisons. To what end then do you demand that of of the Steward whereof the Lord and Master makes a voluntary tender? In vain do you court the Inferiour Streams, when the Spring-head prevents your expectation. It is our Duty to trace his Commands, not to outstrip them. So that if Honour and Conscience would permit the Delivery, meer Manners would retard us, lest by an over-reaching speed we frustrate his Maje­sty's Act of Grace, and antedate his Roy­al Disposal. I shall wave the Arguments wherewith you endeavour to evince our Consent. I am neither to be stroak'd into an Apostacy, by the mention of fair Condi­tions in a misty Notion: Nor to be scar'd into Dishonour by your running Division on the Fate of Chester. For as I am no [Page 171] Huckster in the War, to measure my Alle­geance by my interest for the former; so I disdain that Poverty of Spirit, by a Resemblance of Chester to be executed in Picture. I shall be Loyal without that Co­py, and I hope never to be the Transcript of their Calamity. You may do well, Gentlemen, to use your Fortune modestly, and think not that God Almighty doth up­hold your Cause by reason of your Victories; perchance he fattens it with present Suc­cess for a riper Destruction. For my part I had rather embrace a Wrack floating upon a single Plank, than imbarque in your A­ction with the fullest Sails to dance upon the Wings of Fortune. Whereas you urge the expence of the Siege, and the pressures of the Country in supporting your Charge, there I confess I am touched to the quick: But their Miseries, though they make my Heart bleed, must not make my Honour. My Compassion to my Country must not make me a Parricide to my Prince. Yet in or­der to their ease, if you will grant me a Pass for some Gentlemen to go to Oxford, that I may know his Majesty's pleasure, whe­ther, according to his Letter, he will wind up the Business in general, or leave every Commander to steer his own Course; then I shall know what to de­termine. [Page 172] Otherwise I desire you to take notice, that when I received my Com­mision for the Government of this place, I annex'd my Life as a Label to my Trust.

Oratio in Scholis Publicis habita cum junior Baccalaureus in Tri­podem disputaret Cantab.

QVos ne videre possum citra oculorum hyperbolen, quomodo vos compellarem? Et cum altissimus vester gradus sine scalâ occupari nequeat, quaenam Orationis Climax vestram scandet dignitatem? Vestram dum suspicio in meo vultu invenio purpuram; & ingentis curae quae praestandae observan­tiae me habet solicitum, non novi subtilius argumentum quam stuporem. Quod autem Poetarum Princeps Deorum Senatum cogit ad suam Batrachomyomachiam, pari audacia liceat & mihi vos ad ludicrum hoc cer [...]amen nostrum invitare. Vmbra est haec nostra contentio & Icon belli. Murium & Ranarum pugna, quid aliud quàm Iliadis Brachygra­phia? & in pusillis istis animalibus Hector & Achilles (tanquam Iliades in nuce) co­arctantur. Ea siquidem est pensi nostri con­ditio, ut hic etiam Mars & Venus implicati jacent. Pugna est, sed ludicra; Ludus, & tamen bellicus; ita ut nec bis cincta placeat Philo­sopia, nec nuda Cytherea. Qui virili toga indutus, necdum reliquit nuces, sed totus jo­cos crepat, hujus ego Palladem posthumam [Page 174] cerebri sui prolem existimabo. Qui in hisce Floralibus solus Cato, & inter Philosophiae spinas nullos admittit Rhetoricae flores, hujus Minerva (ad Amazonis instar) alterâ mammâ destituitur. Ille demum sit noster Miles, qui & sese praestet ingenii Velitem, & Philoso­phiae Cataphractum; qui & viriliter audet disputare, & pueriliter cum Bipede Tripode par impar ludere. Me quod spectat ita ratio­nem ad agendum subduxi meam, ut utrinque munus moliar & subterfugiam, & pudibun­da metum inter & officium Musa, & fugit ad salices, & videri cupit.

Oratio Salutatoria in Adventum Il­lustrissimi Principis Palatini.

SI Archetypam corporis vestri elegantiam possem transcribere, & Orationem meam tanquam venustatis Metaphoram à vestro vul­tu deducere, ita Imaginem vestram aemulis encomiis exprimerem, ut qui spectatum ve­nias, venires spectandus, & unicum esset Io­hannense spectaculum teipsum tibi ostentare. Sed quoniam ad hosce solares radios caligat penitus Atheniensis Noctua, gratulor mihi me­am inertiam, stuporem jacto: ita enim cum Sacratissimo Principe in trutinâ quadam col­locatus sum, ut in quantum me deprimit mea humilis facultas, in tantum sursum nititur vestra sublimitas. Salve igitur, desideratis­sime Princeps, hujus Collegii Anima, vel po­tius omnium animarum Collegium; ita tibi singuli devoti sumus, & in obsequium ve­strum juncta phalange omnes ruimus. Ecce tibi Majorum tuorum Monumenta! Marga­retae coct a maenia, quae Semiramis invideat Margaretae! Henrici Septimi, & nostrûm omnium Matris; quae uno partu enixa est quot Herculem fabulantur genuisse, quinqua­ginta Socios. Nec Tibi, Stemmatique ve­stro [Page 176] solam Margaretam debemus, quin & pa­ternae gloriae haeres esto; Fredericum volo be­atissimae memoriae, qui viginti abhinc plus mi­nus annis, una cum Augustissimo Carolo tunc temporis surgente Iulo, ad hanc Margaretae Sobolem, quasi Compatres duo & Susceptores accesserunt. O quam laeti meditamur istum natalem nostrum diemque adeo festum, ut muros hosce sacro quodam minio pinxisse vi­deatur! Ecquid huic foelicitati superesse pos­sit? Possit, ut quod Patris splendore semel tin­ctum▪ vestro olim foret Dibaphum; Sequeris­que Patrem jam passibus aequis. Euge specio­sum Principem! in quo omnium legimus Si­mulachra Autographa; Margaretae nostrae Palladium Frederici Patris Numisma aure­um & Matris Corneliae Ornamentum, Eli­zabethae dulcissimae, & in vestro vuliu to­tam Deam confessae; cujus laudes ut hodier­num saeculum effundit, ita Posteritatis Echo reparabit: cujus mascula anima jam sexu vestitur masculo, Elizabetha Carolo. Ca­rolo! O quam luxuriat dicendi Seges! Quam decies repetitus placebit Carolus! Carolus Caroli Sobrinus & Caroli Avunculus. O Beatissima Carolorum Climax! Macte esto gradibus Carolina scala, ut cum prae altitu­dine suâ supremus Rex Carolus Coelos scan­dat, novi subinde succrescant Caroli, quibus, quasi internodiis, distincta ejus aeternitas [Page 177] usque & usque floreat; sic ipse sibi super­stes Carolus, non hominum (parum illud Nestoris) sed Carolorum tres aetates vivat, Filii, Sobrini, utriusque Caroli.

Ad Regem & Principem in Colleg. Iohan.

QVAE nupero dolore obriguit Academi­a, tanquam orbatae Niobes soror sa­xea, si in pristinam Facundiam resolvatur hodie agnoscit omen vestrae Praesentiae. Memnonis statua solaribus percussa radiis vo­calem Musicam dedisse fertur: habent vel hi Parietes Chordas Magicas, quas minima vultûs vestri strictura, quasi plectro anima­vit. Nec magis eloquuntur Lapides, quàm è diametro miraculi stupent Oratores. Quod in afflatis Numine fieri videmus; ita Deum recipere ut ejiciant Hominem, instinctu sa­pere, non intellectu; perinde vestra in nobis hospitatur Divinitas, cujus nimius splendor omnes omnium sensus sacrificat, & tam san­ctam nostri jacturam in lucro deputamus. Ignoscimus jam Fatis immodestiam suam, imminens Literarum exitium ut favoris in­sidias gratulamur: scilicet, ambitiosae mori­untur [Page 178] Musae, quae ad vestros pedes efflabunt Valè▪ Lusit Archimedes Coelos in Sphaera; quid ni dicam Jovem in Carolo fabrica­tum? Adeo ut Orator ille qui, manu deor­sum flexâ, O Coelum exclamavit, si istum ad modum perorâsset hodie, soloecismum manu non commisisset. Enimvero cum Regem Opti­mum Maximum & Principem simul astantes videam, nescio quomodo Principis Natalis videatur redux; ubi Solem & Stellam ful­gentes à Symbolis (licet non equis radiis) conspicati sumus. Caesare mortuo novum in coelis emicuit sydus, quod Julii Anima passim audiit. Caesaris Epilogus suit Prologus Ca­roli; neque enim aptior Stella, quam In­victissima illius Herois Anima, quae vestrae sobol [...] res gerendas ominaretur. Stellam di­xi? Muto factum; crederem potius ipsum Solem fuisse, qui [...]unc temporis tibi r [...]ligavit moderamen Diei, & ut Principis cunas for­tius videret, suum i [...] stellam contraxit ocu­lum. Ecce ut patrissa [...] Carolus! Vt ad ve­stras Virtutes anhelus surgit! Quod sub pien­tissime Rege accidisse legimus Solem multis gradibus retro ferri, Principis aetas pari por­tento compensavit damnum, cujus festina virius devorat Horologium, & Pueritiâ non­dum libatâ Meridiem attigit. Parcatur mi­hi, si turgeat Oratio; si nihil praeter Solem & Stellas crepet; quippe in Principis Natali [Page 179] ipsa Natura mihi praeivit Allegoriam. O foelicem interim Academiam, & Aeternitatem quan­dam nactam [...] quae in Rege & Principe, & esse nostrum, & nostrum fore simul complectitur. Non est quod plura expectentur saecula; vixi­mus & nostram & posterorum vitam. Sed vereor ne molestus fuerim importuno officio, quod in ta [...] illustri praesentia in nescio quid majus piaculo excrescit. Minima coram Rege Errata, tanquam angustiores rimae, extendun­tur lumine. Oratio itaque nostra pro gento tem­porum reformabitur, vel, quod tantundem est, rescindetur. Hoc unicum prae [...]abor vo­tum; Vivas Augustissime, Pietas tuorum & Tremor Host [...]um. Vivas, vel in hoc declivio, Literarum Stator. Vivas denique eam in­dutus gloriam, ut Filium tuum Carolum appellemus Maximum, quia solo Patre mi­norem.

Oratio habita ad Legatum quendam Gallicum, & Hollandiae Comitem, tunc temporis Academiae Cancel­larium.

QVam Augusta sit vestra Praesentia, & quam sacro horrore nostros percellit a­nim [...]s, utinam Oratoris vestri stupor non ita nimis testaretur. Quem enim alacritas offi [...]ii modo accenderat ut vos salutarem, im­pedit [...]am eadem Religione in illas aures im­portunus ruerem iuquilinus, ubi Regum consilia habitarunt. Nec magis alloqui quam intueri nefas▪ Fulgura spont in ambo­r [...]m [...], quorum splendorem si quis aspi­ceret▪ bidental fi [...]ret. Si quis Persarum, qui veneratur Solem, vos intueretur, utrum­que ratus Numen, suum divideret sacri [...]icium. Nos quod attinet, fatemur lippitudine radio­rum victoriam, & hoc geminum honoris ju­bar imbellis nostra ac [...]es eo magis commen­dat, quo minus sustineat. Salve igitur, Cele­berrime Hospes, cujus gratissimi adventus, ut capacia essent nostra pectora, magnitudo gaudii nosipsos à nobis exclusit foras. Ecce quot Helluones oculi vos inspicimus! Quot in vestris vultibus Quadragesimam viola­mus! Sed nos indigni tantis dapibus. [Page 181] Margareta, & Regii illi Manes, quos in Fun­datoribus nostris numeramus, per me, tan­quam per Legatum suum (ut Titulo vestro su­perbire liceat) Adventum vobis gratulantur. Nec invideas mihi, clarissime Advena, Lega­ti nomen; nam cum Celi [...]udo vestra ad gra­dum meum (quem suscepisti modo) dignare­tur descendere, Humilitas nostra (quod in bi­lance solet) ad vestrum apicem assurgebat. Scholas vidisti & illud unicum Sacellum, quorum alteri docuisti Literas, alteri Pieta­tem. Et quid amplius studes apud nos invi­sere? Eccum Academiam integram, Cancel­larium dignissimum, qui quicquid Cantabri­gia nostra complectitur plenius repraesentat. Theatra & Scholarum Pyramides nos ludi­bundi Vitruvii aedisicamus in chartis. Tu, Tu Architectus fortunae nostrae, cujus Magni­ficentia vel Pictoris nostri a [...]daciam super­abit. Multus sum, Honoratissime Orator, in Cancellarii debitissimis laudibus, ut scias qualis Heros, quantus aliorum Patronus ho­nori vestro hodie inserviat. Certè dum vos M [...]jorum Gentium Nobiles simul a [...]stantes videam. Nescio quis Isthmus videatur Gal­liam & B [...]ita [...]niam (invito Oceano) conjun­xisse. Quin perpetuus sit ille Regionum no­dus, & ita Gordianus, ut neuter Alexan­der dis [...]indat gladio. Plura vellem, & us­que pergeret votorum pietas, sed victus di­viti [Page 182] argumento plusquam Demosthenis An­ginam patior. Quare si aures vestras, Re­gibus assuetas, nimis detinendo sacrilegus fuerim; si quid deliquerim, hoc saltem sit subitae Orationis prodiga temeritas; ut nè paratus ad peccandum prodiisse videar.

Oratio habita cum unus è Prelecto­ribus, deficiente Termino, pen­sum (pro more) imponeret.

HOdiernus intravi (Iuvenes Academici) tanquam Cato Floralia, ut exirem tantum. Convenimus fateor, sed ut dissili­amus: Siquidem hoc est longum Vale moribun­di Termini, qui nollet (ut Iuridici loquun­tur) intestatus mori. Sed singulis vestrum Legatum tribuit, & ejusdem cerae cohaeredes reddit. Penso igitur vobis erit Aristotelis Liber primus de Anima Conscriptus. Et qui­dem vos scio unam vel alteram Authoris pa­ginam posse transcribere: hoc autem à vobis non expeto. Neque est ut expectarem ut He­autontimorumen [...]s & misere Absyrtos vete­res Philosophos in Cruciatus denuò redigatis. Ruente Quercu vel quilibet Homuncio ligna colliget. Illius autem animosior est Spiritus qui è triumphantis Philosophi Fa [...]cibus eripi­at, & eorum aliquem sub Clientela sua patro­cinetur. Obsoleta ista Democriti, vel etiam Thaletis opinio ingenio V [...]stro siat Authen­tica. Neque tamen in ullas angustias vos re­digam. Vniversas Naturae Pandectas habe­atis vobis usurarias. Modo etiam placuerit, (eruditi Iuvenes) liceat vobis leviter per­stringere, [Page 184] & exesa ista Philosophorum Pla­cita risui exponere. Quod si ita iis contige­rit occumbere, habent quod Fatis imputent. Stuporem jactent, atque impotentiam suam in lucro possunt deputare: Si pereant mani­bus vestris periisse juvabit.

Oratio habita in Scholis publicis cum Patris officio fungeretur.

QVam aequivocum sit Patris nomen, quo­ta & quam discolor officii ratio, si non aliunde, ab hac varia frequentia (Severiores viri & Lepidissima proles) possem dignosce­re? Si enim ad singula Auditorum ingenia quilibet Orator componendus sit, ita ut cum Senibus tussiat, rideat cum pueris; quid ego hominis? Quale futurus sum Monstrum, gravitate & nucibus, Patre & puero inter­punctum? Quod in dispertita & expansa Aquila fieri videmus unum corpus duplicem ostentare faciem: eadem est nostra erga vos & filios bifrons conditio. Hos cum aspicio, sumso­nex Aquila pullos meosad vestrū jubar explo­ratura; ubi vos è contra, nescio quomodo ipse in pullum redeo, & ad instar Aquilae juventutem renovo. Duae igitur Dramatis personae sustinen­dae sunt; vestrâ in scenâ acturus sum Filium, in vestrâ Patrem, alterum genu flexum, al­terum stabit Elephantinum, oscillatione, quod quod aiunt, ludam. Superam modo, modo infe­ram occupabo partem; partim Senex, partim Puer, qualis Aeson ille in Aheno Medeae semi­coctus. Et quae quidem aptior via inveniri po­terat quam per ferulam ad fasces, per Filii sca­bellum ad culmen Patris assurgere? Servien­dum [Page 186] ut imperes, Aulicorum methodus; à Vitulo ad Taurum Milonis progressus. Vobis igitur, Viri Gravissimi, primitiae nostrae sunt consecrandae; quod si nullo, vel, quod pe­rinde est, tralatitio tantum honore proseque­rer, non dico causam, quin filii mei impro­bitate erga me pari, injuriam vestram ul­ciscantur. Neque tamen interea nosci­mus quali vos compellemus nomine, quo­rum Eruditio scribit Academiae Maritos, obsequium malit Filios. Perplexus suit & tortuosus ille incesti nodus, quem de Oedi­po suo fabulatur Graecia; major Maeander unusquisque vestrûm, quorum eruditione cum Alma Mater gravida fiat, & quotannis par­turiat; quorum praeceptis & exemplari vir­tute; cum tenella pubes (quasi binis uberi­bus) lactetur indies; non Oedipus majori cum aenigmate sceleratus, quam quilibet ve­strum pius: Matris Maritus, Vxoris Filius, & Fratrum Pater. Neque hic se sistit vestra divina indoles, cujus vel pictura est satis prolifica; siquidem Alma Mater ubi concipi­at, speciem vestram ob oculos ponit, vestrum instar repraesentat animo, ut masculam ma­gis, magis excultam sobolem enitatur. Illi, illi estis, quibus si ante inventas literas con­tigisset vivere, Imagines vestras ab Aegyptiis expressas, hodie pro Artibus & Scientiis le­geremus. Non ego sequax erroris illius qui [Page 187] nihil egregium ducit nisi quod vetustum, qui praesentia fastidit tempora, & ex hesterno jure panem atrum vorat. Senescit, si Diis placet, Natura; Majoribus quidem nostris dedic animarum jugera, nobis spithamas; Gigan­tes illi, nos Pusiones. Degeneres animae & verè minores in hac opinione: Lucrifecit haec aetas, non decoxit. Illi quidem Literarum Atavi, sed quota est familia? cujus primus fuit illud quod dicere nolo, secundus illud quod nequeo: Humilis principii nobilis pro­gressus. Habeant quod suum est Antiqui, sed nè in solidum fiant Domini: suas sibi laudes vendicent, sed vestras vobis nè praeripiant; quorum ego meritis tantum confido, ut vete­rum sicut canitiem veneror, sic misereor im­potentiam. Ruct arunt illi glandes, vestrum est triticum: calceati corum dentes, & vi­ctus asper, vestrae dapes & ingenii gulae; qui­bus quod retro est seculum tantùm stravit mensam, erit à quadris futurum. Clari Con­vivae, quibus obsonantur antiqui, ministrant posteri. Sed quam effrons ego & devorati pudoris, qui dum vestra molior Encomia, O­rationem meam foelicitatis tantae commensa­lem reddam! Liceat tamen peccare, Audito­res, ut ignoscatis; pupura elotis maculis est iterata murice; gloriabor de culpâ à vobis remissâ magis quam de innocentiâ. Julius Sabinus, cum à Romano imperio defecisset, su­sis [Page 188] jam copiis & afflictis rebus in monumen­tum quoddam se abdidisse dicitur, ubi cum Vxore tamdiu latuerit, ut plures filios ex ea susceperit; tandem vero deprehensus, & pro Tribunali positus, filios suos in medium si­stens, sic affatur Iudicem. Parce, Parce, Caesar; hos in monumento genui, hosce alui, ut tibi plures essemus supplices. Vestram fi­dem, Auditores, quicquamne uspiam rotundi­us dictum? Consulite quicquid est Rhetorum. O vanas spes tuas Cicero! O frustra susceptos labores! O inanes cogitationes! Tinnis, tin­nis prae hoc Oratorum maximo, qui si cum V­xore tua Rhetorica tamdiu in Musaeo conclu­sus esses, quam ille in Mònumento, nunquam Orationem hujus parem genuisses. Gratias tibi, Sabine, de excusatione mea, qui cum necesse sit ut delinquam, habeo tamen depre­candi formulam. Habeo silios quos ostendam, hanc circumstantem Rhetoricam. Magna, magna est Infantium Eloquentia, qui eò plus exorant quò non loquantur. Eorum illice ta­cendi Suadâ & ego in praesens utar; neque dubito quin plus favoris demerear silentio, quam ulteriori taedio.

Actus primi
Scena secunda.

REdeo jam alter Sosia: Redeo cum anno­rum sarcina. O quam tacito pede tem­pus labitur, & obrepit non intellecta sene­ctus! Non est, quam videtis, barbae despera­tio, sed genarum calvities; non sum implu­mi [...] puer, sed defloccatus senex. Prodite igi­tur in aciem, mei filii; non in aciem ingenii; nollem enim vos nimis ingeniosos in pueritia, ne Doctores sitis in senectute. Prudens Na­tura dedit Infantulis rationis somnum, ut in aetatis vespera lucubrentur. Cum animae ni­mis vigiles in praetexta, dormiunt, ut vi­detis, in purpura. Festo die si quid prodige­ris, pro festo egere liceat, modo non peperceris; si Iuvenes prodigatis cerebra, Senes capita eritis & nil praeterea. Sed non est quod de vobis metuam; pari modo nostra, quo Clau­diana familia est intertexta, aut Regem, aut Fatuum nasci oportet; aut lepidos & facetos Iuvenes, aut eorum Antipodas. Illos i­ta hilares & jocosos, ut ex Jovis cerebro jurares natos, alios ita hebetes & tardos, ut vel ex patris delirio, vel ex novissimo decreto. Non magis differunt illae primae sorores, Nox & Dies, quam hi Fratres. In hisce radio­rum pompa & adulta lux; in illis spissae tene­brae, [Page 190] vel, si quod Intellectûs lumen, qualis è squamis piscium, aut putri ligno nocturnus splendor. Hercules & Iphiclus fratres fue­runt, indole dispares; Herculi fortitudo data est, Iphiclo pernicitas pedum, ac si illum Al [...]mena ad bellum, hunc ad fugam peperisset. Est & nobis multiplex Hercules, qui duode­cim terminos totidem laboribus mensuravit: unus forsan aut alter Iphiclus, qui pocula sa­cra bibit & fugit; qui non alias se Herculis fratrem demonstrat, quam quod trinoctium illud quod ad procreandum Herculem con­tinuavit Jupiter in intellectu suo usque con­servat. Nata est (quamvis novitia) de qua­dam fabula; qui cum agnum instdiis excepis­set, & odora nare persequeretur Pastor, ubi nullus pateret effugii locus, tugurium intrat, agnum fasciis involutum in cunas componit, quas huc illuc subinde quassat, ut balanti puero conciliaret somnum; si [...] scrutantium examen elusit, & astu non dispari Ulyssem vicit: Sunt & in nostra prole aliqui, quorum cunas si penitius excutiatis, illuc etiam repe­rire est illud simplicius animal, nihil praeter agninam pellem & innocentiam. Mortale ovum Castoris, immortale Pollucis; hic Jo­vem Deum imitatur, aeternus, viridis, & mutationis expers; ille Jovem Cygnum; nec diu erit quin senior factus canitie simulabit plumas; alter filius Jovis, alter [...]. [Page 191] Quis tantam componet litem? Quis con­ciliabit inter sese tam multiformis foe [...]us mem­bra? Det Pollux Castori immortalitatem mutuam, uterque vivet alternatim; dies no­cti lucem accomodet, utrinque crepusculum fiet; spargantur in emnibus merita, quae in aliquibus fluunt mista, & mea side omnes i­donei ad respondendum questioni. Hitamen sunt in quibus stabit hodierna hilaritas: cum enim penuria verborum sit Mater Rhetoricae, non video quin defectus ingennii sit Pater Io­corum. Sed esto quod non sunt agiles & ad ingenium prompti; nonne statutis magis morigeri? Non sunt stupidi, tantum obtem­perant Authoritati. Centurio cum à Praelio abesset, & Africanus Victor causam quaereret, respondit, se tuendis castris dedisse operam, ne caeteris in acie d [...]ten [...]is diriperentur; sub­oluit Duci pusilanimis ratio. Non amo nimi­um diligentes. Etiam & filli mei hisce le­pidis Exercitiis interessent, nisi quod tuenda sunt Castra, observinda Statuta, ne caeteris jocantibus violarentur. Euge mei filii! non suit Militis ignavi [...], sed Castrorum cura; non Torpor ingenii, sed meius Statuti. Lex suit antiqua in Tabulis Decemviralibus pri­mum inventa, ad Justiniani Codicem postea progressa, in Iure qua Canonic [...], qua Civili receptissima; & tandem ad hoc Municipale nostrum delapsa. Si quis faxit plus quam [Page 192] possit damnas esto. Lex imponit Castitatis fibulam; nonne damnandus Eunuchus si committat stuprum? Cavet Statutum ut fru­gi vivamns: nonne culpandus Mendicus si luxurietur? Pari modo plectendi sunt mei filii si sint ingeniosi. Crudele Decretum quod mutis execuit linguas, caecis extinxit oculos, filis meis ingenio interdixit.

Oratio Inauguralis, cùm Praelectoris Rhetorici munus auspicaretur.

QVanta & quàm divina sit vestra bene­faciendi Indoles, quàm pauperrima Gratitudinis nostrae talio, nescio an diuti­num meum silentium, an hodierna Oratio lu­culentius fuerit testimonium. Imparem se fa­tetur modesta taciturnitas, & in tanto cer­tamine maluit cedere, quam infantibus Gra­tiis humanitatem vestram balbutire. In mi­nimis & quae compensari possunt beneficiis peccat silentium, quod in majoribus est reli­giosum. Sed frigidè agnoscere, tantundem ac tacere; & in hoc tamen scelere pietatem me­am invenietis, quod enim sollicitis votis am­biunt alii, ut favori vestro paribus numeris respondeant, ut munus & Gratiae in amoehae­am quandam Eclogam coalescant; secus ego gratulor meam gratiarum ignaviam: quò e­nim magis infra muneris vestri magnitudi­nem subsido, eò infamiâ meâ munus commen­do. Gratiae cum beneficio in bilance posi [...]ae, & pro levitate suâ in sublime actaè, ex pro­prio ludibrio gloriam addunt & pondus bene­ficio. Quod si elegantes magis velitis grati­as, estote vos minus munifici, Gratitudo [...]st beneficii Echo, quae ut singula verba potest [Page 194] repetere, ita longam sententiam ne dimidiare. Monosyllaba (ut ita dicam) beneficia facilè reverberamus, cum grandioribus & vestris ne unam aut alteram syllabam rependimus: prodeo igitur in aciem cum amore vestro, sed ut succumbam studeo. Contendunt gratiae cum beneficio, sed ut ex istâ pugnâ major ap­pareat vestra victoria. Qui in hostis pote­statem se lubens offert, invidet hosti honorem suum; plenior ex capto quàm ex dedititio Triumphus; & major erit munificentiae ve­strae Paean ex Oratore victo, quam ex imbelli silentio. Quorsum autem ego in haec subsellia ascenderem, qui ita haereditarium à proavis meis praelectoribus accepi silentium, ut necesse habuerim quasi ex traduce, ta [...]nisse? Erat e­nim, cùm Lectores legere pleonasmus habere­tur. Artis fuit apud illos dissimulare Artem; munus suscipere, cum privilegio dormire; implere autem, (absit omen!) officium; ad industriam prodere, de posteris mereri malè. Crediderim sanè ego illud fuisse muneris no­stri ingenium, ut, quod Papae solent, illarum virtutum à quibus maximè distant esse cogno­mines; proinde Rhetores eligerentur illi, qui per integrum annuni obmutescerent. Nec immeritò; tam rarae enim fuerunt, tam in­frequentes praelectiones nostrae, tam seculares denique, ut nescio quî possum melius praefari, quàm illis praeeonis verbis; Venite ad Ludos [Page 195] quos nemo mortalium unquam vidit, nec visu­rus est postea. Sed nova hoc anno exoritur Lectorum Religio, quî, aliter ac Lectores so­lent, ad Canones & Statuta revocamur. Sta­mus indies, loquimur quotidiè, & tam anci­piti pulmonum virtute, ut & Pulpita ad vigi­liam, & Auditores ad somnum adigamus. Ad somnum? ad horrorem potius; tanto enim recentes hujus inusitati prodigii percussi sunt metu, ut verendum sit nè ad Paedagogos▪ scri­pserint novitiam aliquam haeresin suppullulasse, Babylonicam Meretricem in Rhetoricis Le­nociniis esse redivivam, & in liberalibus Sci­entiis septicollem Bestiam. Ecquid amplius a­pud vos Papisticum? imo & quod pessimum est, noctu & interdiu horas Canonicas obser­vare Procancellarium; quem non citius ma­ximo cum honore nomino, quin eò destectan­da mihi videtur Oratio; cujus in landes tam alacris est mea Rhetorica, ut si semel unda­rent lora, vereor quod habenas non audiret denuo. Quotus enim est patronus noster? qui homines alioquin somnolentos, tanquam matutinus Sol, radiis suis ad laborem susci­tat; qui otiari in officio, ac dormire in aprico pudendum ratus, non modo ipse laborat, sed & nostri laboris est Artifex: ita eandem quam ipse exercet diligentiam felici contagi­one nobis affricat. Qui denique (& quod e­go palmarium duco) modestiam meam, nimis [Page 196] difficilem, in hodiernùm vestrî obsequium ra­puit. Vestrî intelligo, Senatus amplissime; quibus quicquid ego Praelectoris sum, refero acceptum; quorum nescio an me Rhetorem e­legerunt Iudicia, aut Suffragia crearunt. Cre­arunt dico, & satis cum audaciâ repeto; tot enim & tam foecundae voces in unum congestae, quem non Rhetorem fecissent? Quod igitur fabulantur poetae ad Pandorae Natalitia uni­versum Deorum Chorum fuisse à Symbolis, i­dem in Rhetorica mea, & unanimi vestro as­sensû, quasi Epimuthion nactum invenietis. Quare quos Eloquentia, si quae sit mea, agno­scit compatres, non dubito quin usque habitu­ra sit susceptores; ut eadem lubentiâ in aures vestras resiliat quâ facilitate pectorum profe­cta est. Non causabor in posterum imbecilli­tatem meam, qui onus dedistis, dedistis hu­meros: & ut absint cae [...]era, satis erit virium sub aquilâ vestrâ militare. Refert Seneca de pusillo & monogrammate (ut ita dicam) ho­munculo, qui palaestram ausus est descendere, quoniam pugiles multos & strenuos servos do­mi aleret. Si servi tantum potuerint, si vicarii roboris confidentia infirmum herum comma­sculare possit, quid Domini facient? Et ego in hunc literarium pulverem possum irruere, non Mercurio meo, sed quoniam tam multos & tam facundas habeam Dominos. Non e­nim ad hoc officium designatus sum à dextro [Page 197] aut à laevo vulture, non à sitellâ aut sorti­bus, non ab imperito vulgo, vel (quod idem est apud Persas) hinniente equorum armento, sed à Senatu vestro, scilicet (ut sobriè audax possum dicere) ab oecumenico literarum conci­lio. Quid enim non infra erit eorum dignita­tem, quibus Artes omnes pro satellitio, & conjuratae veniunt ad Clientelam Scientiae? Impos hîc sui Rhetorica, & laudes vestras nè anhelâ quidem eloquentiâ adaequare potest. Parcite, Auditores, si vos frequens compel­lem; ita enim subduxi mecum rationem ad agendum, ut ubi vos nominaverim, Troporum affatìm, abundè Figurarum. Quodigitur ar­tis Memoriae Professores solent per ea, quae sunt sibi ante oculos posita, alia quaecunque memoranda significare; idem Auditores meos edoctos velim, ut in vos ora & obtutus fi­gant, ut hunc Metonymiam, illum Hyperbo­len, universam multitudinem pro continuatâ figurarum Allegoriâ imaginati, omnes colores, omnia Orationis lumina, integram denique Rhetoricae Supellectilem per quandam oculo­rum Metaphoram ad sese transferant. Iamque, Auditores, cum eò deventum sit, ut vos o­mnes in volumen quoddam Rhetoricum com­pegerim, recipio in posterum me lecturum: In praesens aliquid de Rhetoricâ dicendum cen­seo; neque enim tam foelix Argumentum, quale vos reputo, priùs reliquissem, quàm in­dividuis [Page 198] praeconiis vos & Rhetoricam semel simulque commendare. Ferunt Demonsthe­nem, optimum licet Rhetorem, non potuisse pronunciare nomen Rhetoricae. Quae Demo­sthenis fuit impotentia, est Rhetoricae mode­stia, quaè licet apud omnes laudatissima sit & multi nominis, titulos tamen suos erubescat proloqui. Quid igitur ego quàm ut veterem illum medelae modum imitarer? lapides ali­quos in os injiciam, quos nisi favor vester, plus quam Chymicus in preciosos verterit, in­digni erunt qui in auribus vestris tam disertis pendeant. Age igitur Rhetorica, explica vir­tutes tuas, quae Logicae, Philosophiae caeteris­que tuis Sororibus illicem facundiae hederam soles praefigere. Si tibi in eodem deesses offi­cio, quid aliud quam foris saperes, domi in­sanires? Atque hinc quàm optimè Rhetoricae encomium auspicari possum, quòd nativa sit ejus Pulchritudo, cum in caeteris nil nisi em­ptitium fucum deprehendas. Scitum est il­lud Phrynes Thebanae Commentum, quae cum Convivio inter aequales adesset, & probè jam saturatae omnes ludis operam darent; Lex lata est, ut quicquid facto praeiret quae­vis, subsequerentur caeterae. Vbi ad Phrynes vices deventum est, poscit aquam, faciem la­vat, quod cum caeterae pro imperio Legis fe­cissent, Phryne pulchrior, ut quae sordes elu­erat, deformes caeterae, ut quae fucum deter­serant, [Page 199] apparuere. Hunc summa redit denique, Au­tographa est Rhetoricae venustas, quae in caete­ris est tralatitia. Fictitii sunt aliorum vultus, cum nesciat Rhetorica qualis sit illa nova Pro­sopopoeia. Caeterae quidem Scientiae Magnates sunt Dominae; sed tanquam Domin [...]e facies suas è Rhetoricae Pyxide mutuantur. Vt reliquas taeceam; Quid Logica citra Rhetoricam? Con­tractus ille pugnus ad colophos magis accom­modus, quam ad aures demulcendas; ubi ve­rò in palmam Rhetoricae extendatur, non o­pus est ut dicam quantum potuerit, cum fra­ter meus Logicus exemplo suo nuper ostende­rit. Quae igitur alias Artes la [...]dibus suis deaurare solet, aequum est ut suis superbiat, quae (tanquam Danista) Elegantiam suam foris locat usurariam, iniquum esset si non ip­sam sortem cum amplissimo foenore reciperet; quanquam quidem Rhetorica non tam faecul­tates suas foenori apponit, quàm, tanquam Missilia, in Scientiarum plebem Regina dis­seminat. Hactenus quàm dives Rhetorica in alienis loculis, nunc videamus quàm opulenta sit in suis. Quod ut facilius sieret, utinam Thesaurarius ejus Cicero revivisceret; qui si toties de Rhetorica sua, quoties de Consu­latu gloriatus esset, & aeque indefessum argu­mentum habuisset, & mitiùs ob superbiam vapularet. Hic ille Atticae Helenae Rivalis, hic Palladii Graeci Ulysses; hinc illae Philo­sophi [Page 200] lachrymae Rhetoricam è Graecia trans­missuram. Quod enim Antonio Athenas proficiscenti Cives Minervam suam desponsa­runt; ideoque pro adulationis poena Talen­tum, quasi pro dote, coacti sunt numarare: idem in Cicerone plenius ac vellent evenisse constat; qui ubi Athenis studuit, Rhetori­cam, praesidem Civitatis Deam, Vxorem du­xit; & ubi aè Pyraeo solveret, omnem ejus do­talem ornatum secum in Italiam transmisit. Euge redux Cicero. Salvete in Tusculum Athenae. Opima magis spolia quam terna il­la Iovi Feretrio consecrata. O qualis fuit Ci­ceronis copia! Qualis ejus dicendi Tyberis! imo Romanus Nilus! Quantum enim ejus E­loquentia excrevit, vel deferbuit, tantum foe­cunda vel sterilis, foelix vel misera extitit I­talia. Quot ille Coronas ob Cives, quot ob Provincias desendendas meruit? qui cum duos parricidio liberaret Roscium & Popi­lium, ob unum in aeternum debuit vivere, te­ste omnium optimâ Oratione: ob alterum mo­ri, idque Popilii manu, in ejus caede parrici­dium conf [...]ssi. Hic tamen Cicero Facundiae Sponsus; hic (pace Bruti dixerim) Romano­rum Rex; hi [...], plusquam Caesar, perpetuus Dictator, ut divinum Rhetoricae numen sacro, quondam borrore agnosceret, in Orationum primordiis singultiit, ut ludit Comicus, vi­ctitavit Sorbillo. Vetus obtinuit Superstitio, [Page 201] ut ubi Luna pateretur Eclipsin, armorum stre­pitus, vel quilibet alius clangor parturienti (sic enim credebant) Numini obstetricari pos­sit. Vbi laborat Res-publica, ubi deliquium passura est Patria, intercedit Rhetorica ut Lu­cina Juno, & suavissimo tonitru tumorem se­dat. Tumultuatur Plebs, secedit in Janicu­lum. Ecquis prodit Jupiter Stator? Ecce Rhetor Agrippa, qui Fabulae cujusdam de ventre & membris tintinnabulo fugitivum a­pum examen ad praesepe redegit. Tantum Ar­tificis valet habitus oris. Senecam dum au­diret Nero, quis aequavit ejus quinquenni­um? Ita facundus senex insidiatur Tyran­no, & animum ejus ad vitia proclivem furti­vâ Rhetoricâ in virtutem prodit, sanctissimê reus Majestatis. Neque enim Reges aut Im­peratores Rhetori [...]e jugum subterfugiunt. To­nat Rhetorica? frustra sub lecto cubat Testudo Caligula. Fulgurat Rhetorica? incassum lauro circundatur Tiberius, nec in isto circulo securus. Duplex enim est Rhetoricae Genius; bonus, qui innocentes praemiis afficit, & ma­lus, qui sceleratos exagitat; tam subtilis ta­men est ejus Suada & hujus terror, ut tan­quam fulmen terebrans, salvis corporum vagi­nis ipsas animas liquefaciat. Quid ego vobis Crassos, Curios, Loelios proponam? quorum illustrium Rhetorum tam numerosa sunt apud Historiam Exempla; quam apud nos nulla: [Page 202] nam siqua sit exilis & strigosa Oratio, sine sanguine, sine anima; sententiis ad tertium lapidem porrectis, haec (si placet) est Cicero­niana. Pudendum nominis Sacrilegium! & cujus in vindictam miror facundos manes non resurgere novas scripturos Philippicas. Sed ecce alius Ciceronis insons! qui perspicuum & simplicem perosus stylum implicitè loquitur & in aenigmate, ac si Persii Carmina in Pro­sam Orationem per modum Anagrammatis re­solveret: anxiae ineptiae! & quae neminem Oratorem praeter Sphingem Monstrum, nemi­nem Auditorem praeter Oedipum admittunt. Tertius prodit uterque neuter, qui ambabus sellis sedet, qui omnia dicendi genera experi­tur; cujus Oratio tanquam multiformis Lu­na secundùm varias mutat Quartas; modò gibbosa, modò falcata, plena, semi-plena, ac si Rhetorica Metempsychosin quandam institu­erit, per omnes stylos pervagata. Vbi interim Musarum Castitas? Adulter est ille Stylus, qui rem habet cum pluribus, & maxima O­ratoris laus est aequum & integritas. Sed proh stupor! Egone ut Rhetoricae encomia moliar, & Oratorem nostrum publicum cui omnes assurgunt, praetermittam? cujus no­men cum Demosthene triplicare, est Rhetori­cam ex omni parte definire. Peregrinatur in aliis Rhetorica, hîc Incola est, non Hospes unde non magis illam divellas quàm Solem è Coelo, [Page 203] Iustitiam a Fabricio. Ille decus, suae & do­lor nostrae Gentis, qui cum Orator sit & Grae­cus Professor, pari jure quo Caesar, Consules, nominari potest Academiae Oratores. Ille e­nim verus Orator qui Ambidexter, in quo bi­nae linguae unum eloquentiae trahunt jugum. Refert Seneca de quodam, qui cum bis decla­masset in eodem die, Graecè, & Latinè, & sciscitaretur quidam (ut curiosum sumus Lite­rarum genus) quomodo perorasset, responsum tulit, benè & [...], benè Latinè, perperam Graecé. Dictum non magis lepidum & ro­tundum quàm hodiéque verum; quàm multi enim sunt Literati [...]; Quot Elo­quentes [...]; Plures Cicerones (pauci licet) quàm Demosthenes. Incipiat sanè Rhetorica à Latinis, sed adolescat in Grae­cis. Graecia à Latio mutuetur Calendas; sed Nonas, sed Idus apponat suas: qui enim in solis Latinis est exercitatus, est Polyphe­mus monoculus, pene dixerim [...] Rhetori­cus. Possem, Auditores, ad Cathedram as­cendere, & ibi etiam quomodo Rhetorica pro Tribunali sedeat, demonstrare; sed pinge du­os angues, sacer est locus: vel si fas esset lau­des ejus attingere, attingere tamen est Religio: ita enim in illo divino Professore conturbavit prodiga Rhetorica, ut nè unciam habeat unde cum posteris pro labore & vigiliis suis decer­nat. Huc usque eminus quasi verba feci; tem­pus [Page 204] est ut cum auditoribus meis cominus age­rem: Moris enim est librum nominare, & sic pro hoc anno satisfecisse. Sed illud quicquid est muneris reliquum, in Termini proxime in­euntis exordium differam; ubi tamen spero Auditores meos non affutores; nam si nullo alio modo vos deterrere possum, legam Arabi­cè. O invidendam Praelectoris solitudinem! cujus in Individuo, coelestem admodum, uni­versa species Arabica, quantum ad nos spectat, conservatur. Quod si meis ingratiis Audito­res adsint, & Ego contra me sistam Rhetorem, uterque agemus quod nostrum est, usque vobis grati erimus. Rhetoricae & honori vestro pa­riter incumbemus; ita enim commodum no­strum & observantia vestri mutuo nexu alli­gantur, ut quo quisque erimus magis Rhetores, eò Munificentiae vestrae magis memores.

Oratio habita in Scholis Theologicis, cùm Moderatoris partes ageret.

QVae cum ita sint, Auditores, liceat tan­dem perorare, Piladi dabo ut bodie in­saniam, & tum finitus Orestes. Quod Reges solent, ubi satietas illos mundi ceperit, Coe­nobium intrare ut seipsos dediscant; per­inde de nostro ingressu in hasce Scholas judi­cate. Penitet nostrae nugacis facundiae, & in severiori hujus loci genio remedium quaero. Nec tamen sum ex illorum numero qui sapiunt in gratiis, qui gravitatem complectuntur, ut continentiam Senes, qui cum ulterius peccaere nequeunt, resipiscunt. Spadonum est haec vir­tus; ingenia casta, quoniam non mascula; ac si Statuta nostra, sicut Turcarum Mulieres, non alios agnoscerent Custodes praeter Eunu­chos. Pudet haec opprobria nobis dici. Sunt qui ingenio ingenium debellant, qui ex ferra­tis Stymphalidum pennis desumunt spicula, quibus ipsas aves, vivas illas pharetras, in­terficiunt. Hujusmodi cum audiam Tripodum Oracula, & ambiguos Vates, exemplo praeeun­tes ingenium, quod Orationibus insectantur. Video Catonem sui ipsius lacerantem viscera; Video Demosthenem proprio Calamo pereun­tem. Ad quid autem, dicit aliquis, hispida [Page 206] haec rerum facies? Ergóne defluet comptior Eloquentia, ut barbae squallor dominetur? Absit omen! Regnet quidem Gravitas, sed citra striatam frontem & Vultûs Tyranni­dem, nè sit instar Sileni Alcibiadis, ita in­tùs Numen ut extùs appareat Demogorgon. Qui in Oratore odit foeminae mollitiem, fasti­dit magis agrestes villos; qui denudat aures Rhetoricis cincinnis, extirpat radicitus gena­rum sentes: Neque enim illi accedo, qui con­sultus de optimo Rhetore respondit Statuta A­cademiae. Liber noster non stat in catenis reus eloquentis criminis, sed tanquam Tyri­us Apollo ideo constringitur, nè suam gra­vatus servitutem mutaret Dominum. Faci­lis à libro ad Respondentem transitio, quos cum ambos simul cogitem, nescio an gemellos rectè nominarem. Gemelli; corpora si respi­cias sunt unius Divortium, si animas unio duorum, quasi vulnus à Natura factum amore mutuo erat coiturum. O quam studet illam Naturae Diaeresin resarcire, qui cum libro non indulserit Nasum; prohibere tamen nequit quin typis mandetur! ea enim est ejus cum literis communio, ut literato ejus cumulo vel hunc unicum librum addere, erant qui superfluum credidere. Vultis omnia? tam e­ruditus est noster Respondens, ut vereor ne tanquam Cataphractus miles, onustus potius, quàm munitus literis videatur. Sed incas­sum [Page 207] ego molior; surge tui ipsius Encomium; ego enim (tanquam pictum velum, aut ex­pansum carbasum) spectaculum policeo [...]; tuum est, Scaligeri verbo, monstrum perfectionis ostendere.

Oratio prior habita in Scholis Juri­dicialibus, Domino Doctore Lit­tleton Respondente.

UNicum nostrum & captivum librum cum eodem obtutu quo numerosa tua conspi­ciam volumina, nescio quin disparis nostrae conditionis luculenta Icon videatur. Me quod spectat Eruditionis nostrae modulum sa­tis unus, satis nullus liber repraesentat; cum tua grandiora merita vix integra complecti possit Bibliotheca. Ad quid autem librorum tantum; ubi magis est literarum? Veteris picturae fuit opprobrium quòd hîc Canis, fuit adscriptum, cum viva effigies (tanquam prae­co domesticus) seipsam interpretetur. Credi­mus te literatum, non propter Authorum, sed propter tuiipsius testimonium. Optimus No­menclator imaginis est loquax artificium. Pro­pria virtus, non farrago librorum te honesta­bit, & unicus tuus Orator erit Respondens. O quam superbit Alma Mater, quae frequen­tem nuper enixa sobolem in te uno duplicavit numerum! Refert de patre quodam Historia, qui inter filios divisurus bona, primo tantum tribuit, & Lucium cohaeredem facit; tan­tum secundo, & Lucium addit; tertio tan­tum, & usque Lucium fortunae suae rivalem: [Page 209] cumque in qualibet cerâ scripsisset Lucium, hoc addit Elogium, Lucius & Fratres sunt Gemini. Quid aliud Gemini quàm Naturae aequilibrium? quae cum unum fratrem reliquos Triumviratus regulâ, adaequare faciat, Quò tum te creavit vir­tus? Multiplex es in tuis Fratribus, & quascun­que laudes illi meruerunt, tu nasceris particeps. Cer [...]è si [...]te unum tantum pepererit Academia, multos simul pariat necesse, ut duos dicatur peperisse. Neque tamen de Fratrum copia de­sperandum est; si enim parturienti Academi­ae, ut laboranti Lunae, strepitu & sono obste­tricandum sit, nullum facilius quam Iuridico­rum erit puerperium. Crederem equidem vel in ipso utero litigare velle ut citius nasceren­tur. Hinc est quod tam universa prodit Cad­mi seges, ut malè metuo ne vix satis sit litium ad omnes alendos. Quod si bono fato con­tigerit, armatae aristae se metent invicem & (piscium ad instar) ubi praeda deficit, vorabunt mutuó. Liciat mihi, Themidos Magnates, Causidicorum vulgus paulum perstringere, ut vestra magis internoscantur merita: cumque aliàs modestia vestra non patiatur, in aenig­mate saltem adulari liceat. Subdola furium scientia hanc interreliquas excogitavit falla­ciam. Fures duo à jurgiis auspicati pugnam simulant, capita pro mutuâ Colophorum libidi­ne probè demulcent, quod cum confertus hinc illinc populus spectatum prodeat, usque praeli­antur [Page 210] bellicos [...] Aucupes, dum à Collegis suis tur­bae commixtis, singulorum marsupia pertun­duntur. Non in vestram peccabo dignit atem, si nubat haec Similitudo. Sunt & in vestra gente Cauponantes belli, qui ita disputant, ut quaestionem in alienis loculis inveniant, & (quod passimum est) in illis exercitiis nullum agnoscunt moderatorem. Ludiones sunt qui ob mercedem pugnant, vestra Disputatio sola retinet liberalitatem scientiae. Sed Infans encomium addendo detrahit; laudare quod satis nequis est sacrilegium admittere. Age igitur, Doctissime Vir, & Disputatio vestra quae praecidit mihi Orationis progressum, suo indicio, & vestris radiis magis eniteat.

Oratio posterior, eodem Respon­dente.

DE Gallis dicitur quod primus plusquam virorum impetus, secundus minor sit quam foeminarum. Digni profecto qui ab Vxo­ribus suis vapularent milites, cum (tanquam meticulos [...] lepores) fortitudinis suae sexum mutent. Non tu hujusmodi Tyresias Galli­cus, ut virilis anima sit degener in foeminam, & novissimae hebdomadae fortis Disputatio subsidat hodiè in sequiorem. Eccum vobis, Auditores optimi, eundem Respondentem! virtutem parem! noster Hercules non An­cillam induit, nec nobilis ille clavae terror ad humile ministerium Coli emasculatur. Cesti­us Rhetor ita sibi & Eloquentiae suae super­vixit, ut discipulus ejus per cineres peroran­tis Cestii juraret. Quotusquisque est qui su­um ipsius stat Monumentum, cujus vigor igne­us in flebile frigescit marmor, idem Eruditio­nis Cadaver & Sepulcrum? Secus tua divi­na, virtus, quae aemulos prius superare conten­ta, nunc audaci conatu seipsam molitur; quae cum alios ita nuper vinceret, nunc ipsam Vi­ctoriam captivam ducet. Hoc habet quilibet generosus animus, ut ne Solstitium patiatur, tantum abest ut agnoscat Tropicum. Praestat [Page 212] aeternùm fuisse claudum, quam tandem retro­gradum. Malo Mulier esse quam Eunuchus. Malo nasci quam fieri ignavus. Pristinae igi­tur virtutis memor iterum descendis in pul­verem, & priori gloriâ, tanquam optimo tu­bicine, redaccensus instauras praelium. Pro­inde à Majoribus nostris cautum ect, ut duos actus praestarent Iuridici; absque enim vobis & vestris litibus dualis numerus non esset in­ventus. Hinc est quod semel tantum respondeat Theologus, ut quos vestra jurgia duos effece­rint, ejus Pietas reduces faciat ad unitatem. Si Theologia & Medicina cum Iurispruden­tiâ de forma concertarent, tam turbida est Facultas vestra, ut, me Paride, vestrum esset Pomum Discordiae. Sterilescit hoc anno Me­dicina, ut quae satis novit quod ingruente bello, citra Medicorum opem mori possumus. Deficit Medicina, redundat Facultas vestra, neque mirum tamen quod binos alat ubere foe­tus, cum ad Artis vestrae mulctram nos huma­num pecus toties veniamus. Gens Amazo­num alteram mammam solet exurere, ut ad praeliandum magis sit accommoda; ambas habet Iurisprudentia, & tamen plus quam A­mazon est bellicosa. Qui solet omnia dupli­care Bacchus à Poetis fingitur bis natus; du­plex actus te peperit geminum. Ecce tibi Jo­vis & Patris mixtura dulcis, qui disputatio­nis fulmine te primum genuit, in amoris fe­mur [Page 213] nunc recondet. Epaminondas moritu­rus, cum ejus orbitatem defleret quidam, ni­hil de tam egregiâ stirpe reliquum fuisse: Leuctram & Mantinaeam, duas pulcherrimas filias se reliquisse dixit. Quid aliud tua dis­putatio gemina quam Leuctra & Mantinaea? pulchrae quidem filiae, quas ita despon­satas sibi velit posteritas aemula, ut qui in fu­turum seculum erit doctus, erit Gener tuus. Age igitur, & fortiter, cavendum enim est ab Achillis fato qui usque fuisti invulnerabi­lis, in Disputationis calce occidaris.

Oratio itidem habita in Scholis Juri­dicialibus, cum Moderatoris partes ageret.

CVm vos intuear, Iurispiritûm Par, simul­que reductis introrsum oculis imperiti­am meam, Areopagum esse in hisce Scholis duplex argumentum in venio, vestram in agen­do solertiam, & nostras judicandi tenebras. Fabula de Capro inter duos Arietes cursûs ar­bitro, & ab hinc illinc procurrentibus utrin­que contuso; fabula inquam haec utinam esset fabula, nec in Moderatore vestro hodiernum nacta [...]. Saturni aetas foelix magis, quod innocens, an misera quod nullis Legibus instituta, digna vobis quaestio. Gratulor qui­dem ego primaevum scelus; qui primus deli­quit, primus Solon & Lycurgus fuit, ita Ci­coniae ad modum vitae damno Iura peperit, & tanquam Autographus Draco, suo sangui­ne Leges scripsit. Mehercule peccandi In­ventio, quae Leges introduxit cujus qui pri­mus Author extitit, tanto beneficio redemit scelus, ut facinus infra gloriam fuisse videa­tur. Nec vestra unius populi; sed Gentium▪ superbia est Iurisprudentia, cujus in clientela Nationes omnes & Provinciae florent, & de Iuris Civilis ac de Solis communione univer­sae [Page 215] participant. Insulas, Vrbes & singulae Geographiae frusta Ius Municipale occupat, cum Civile universum Orbem complectatur, & Regiones, ut ut dissitas, suâ tamen sub ditione foederatas, velinvitâ Naturâ, jubet co [...]lesce­re. Britannos ipsos, quos cum altero Orbe in bilance quadam Natura posuit, Ius Civile (tanquam Isthmus quidam) conciliat, & ju­gali quadam societate connectit. Neque ma­gis Orbem Ius vestrum colligit, quam illud al­terum dividit & articulatim comminuit. Est (quam vellem dixisse fuit!) leguleiorum genus, quos artem nescias an pulmones profes­sos; qui ambiguitate vocis abusi, Forum in Emporium mutant, ubi quid vendant sat su­perque norint, qui tanti emunt poenitere. Quid turbae est apud Forum? Quid illic ho­mines litigant, qui ita clangant, ac si cum Proavis suis Capitolium defenderent? Ad­vertas modo, & audias Damonis Caprum à Causidico quodam pari clamore quo olim sur­reptum; multum latrante Lycisca repetitum. Sed quid ego illos perstringo, quos vestra coe­litus dilapsa scientia ipsâ comparatione satis arguit? satis per seipsam splendet vestra pur­pura, ut ne alieno rubore indigeat. Quod meum igitur est, Iudex assurgo, vultis, & qualis? qui causam nescio. Ais? Aio: Negas? Nego; tam dubia est nostra Modera­trix Trutina, ut ne pulvis sculum habeat Do­ctrinae [Page 216] qui vel hanc, vel illam praegravabit sententiam. Agite igitur Themidos Supre­me. Flamen, tuque inferior Mysta, & dum vos tanto litetis Numini, ego (tanquam Cere­ris Arcano) sacro excipiam silentio; neque enim alio consilio huc ascendi, quam quo Phi­lippi puer, ut Argumenta vestra, si prolixio­ra, mortalitatis suae admonerem.

Ad Archiepiscopum Cantuariensem.

QVos ad Aram vestram impulit prius Hostium malitia, eò Numinis bonitas allexit denuó Supplices qui primum accessi­mus, grati jam redimus; & ubi Asylum habuimus, eò Sacrificium reportamus, sed quantum thuri nostro diffidimus, ubi te Jo­vem Statorem cogitamus? Beneficium qui­dem vestrum seriò gratulamur, sed & dole­mus pariter; cujus magnitudo gratias in tan­tum provocat, ut nos ad ingratos necesse da­mnet: enimvero nos indigni qui simus grati. Edvardus & Elizabetha Virginei Reges con­jugantur in gratiis; quorum munera suam ex traduce Castitatem non conservassent, nisi quod Patrocinio vestro à sacrilego raptu vin­dicarentur. O quam sidelis erit ille erga Re­gem suum, cujus pertinax Pietas cineras Re­gios demeretur! Quam avida interim huma­nitas vestra, quae non nisi tribus seculis con­tenta! quae retro aevum intuetur, ut in futu­rum prospiciat; quae ad Proavos nostros ideo recurrit ut majori cum impetu ad Nepotes pro­siliat. Vt Gr [...]titudo igitur nostra coaetanea sit beneficiis vestris, qui tres aetates beas, ter­tiam hominum aetatem vivas. Gratulamur igitur Patronum nostrum, quem dum gratu­lamur [Page 218] fuisse, usque gratulamur fore: quic­quid enim gratiarum hodierni Clientes non absolvimus, posteris adimplendum relinque­mus,

Ad Episcopum Lincolniensem.

LIteras vestras ad Doctorem datas, & ad nos tanquam haeredes secundae cerae dela­tas, ut amoris vestri clementiam gratulamur! Consulto siquidem Amplitudinis tuae refringis radios, priusquam ad imbellem nostram aciem pervenirent. Solem in unda spectamus faci­les, quem in orbe suo non sine lippitudine susti­nemus. Quae fuit scribendi; [...] utinam eadem esset responsi methodus, ut excusatione ad ali­um traduce peteremus veniam, & vicario rubore delictum nostrum fateremur. Quan­quam si penitius causam excutias, peccamus magis quod deprecamur, & majori obsequio rebelles fuimus, quàm morigeri essemus. Quid enim aliud est peregrinum asciscere quam sanguinem vestrum exhaeredem facere. Collegium mater abdicat suos, si adopted alie­nos. Si Tros Tyrius que nullo discrimine, Tyrius, vel in propriis penatibus erit inqui­linus. Ergóne degener tandem vestrae fami­lia, & desiderat indigenas honoribus pares. Erubescendum opprobrium! & dignum quod tantus Mecaenas experiundo refutaret. Ha­bet igitur quod imputet Collegium, non quod defendat; si enim in hoc peccet, quod sobo­lem [Page 220] suam habeat charissimam, jussu naturae pec­cat, vestris peccat sub auspiciis: pertinaciori e­nim amplexu fovet filios, quia fratres tuos: Fratres dicimus, & satis cum superbia repeti­mus, ita enim cura vestra profitetur Patrem, amor Fratrem; ut non Oedipus majori cum ae­nigmate sceleratus fuerit, quam tu pius Matris Maritus, & Fratrum Pater. Veneramur igitur Patris & Fratris mixturam dulcem. Solvi­mus quas debemus gratias & magis debemus solutas. Est beneficii Mantissa gratias ad­mittere, praesertim nostras, quales receptas in damno potes deputare,

Ad Episcopum Lincolniensem tunc temporis è carcere laxatum.

CVjus laborantes fortunas pari animorum deliquio diu expressimus, ne graveris si ejus redivivo jubare experrecti triumphemus: hodie enim est quod vivimus postliminio, & in vindiciis honoris vestri, quotquot sumus, Virbii. Siquidem in moerore vestro, quid a­liud fuit vita nostra quam nocturno lucubra­tio, & occidenti tuo superesse quam ingratiis Naturae vivere? Sed salva res est. Reddi­dit diem redux Phosphorus; & post tanta cum Astris jurgia, Collegium Mater jam tan­dem fatetur Coelos. Incassum Tubas fatiga­runt Veteres ut Eclipsin redimerent. Alma mater suspiriis suis magis sonoris prostigavit vestram; scilicet hic fuit faelicitatis vestrae somnus, qui tantum abest, ut illam extingue­ret, ut reficiat potius & alacriorem reddat. Eccum tibi majorem mundum tuum ad exem­plar compositum; vel (si mavis dictum) luce & tenebris distinctum! Sol si perpetuus splenderet, nec Aram, nec Mystam haberet Persicam. Enimvero caligantes oculi nostri pacti sunt inducias cum fulgore vestro, qui­bus finitis ad pristinum redit seipsum. Aspi­cias quaesumus Clientum nomina, & agnoscas [Page 222] tot radios à luminoso tuo corpore diffusos; nihil enim de nostro habemus. Percurras sin­gulos, & videas teipsum exiliorem semper ad modum, sed modo plenius, modo augustius, pro variâ speculorum indole reper [...]ussum; at­que hinc est quod Imaginem vestram, tanquam Collegii Palladium, inter Archiva recondi­mus; ut mater enixa sobolem ad picturam si­stat, vultus comparet, & ita umbrâ vestrâ, plusquam splendore Phoebi; distinguat pullos. Gratulamur igitur vel nostro nomine novas hasce honorum induvias: Vivas in posterum fortunâ major. Ingens vester animus, tan­quam illud aeternum jecur, indignetur vultu­rem, quo magis consumitur, angeatur magis, & inter ipsos invidiae molares crescat virtus. Ita vovemus.

Ad eundem jam factum Archiepisco­pum Eboracensem.

USque & usque quod gratulamur si mo­lesti simus, utinam indies cresceret peccandi materia. Pietas officiā non metuit Cramben, sed vestri honoris aemula indigna­tur Non ultra. Quin placeat igitur nostris in literis fortunas tuas ruminare, & prolixi­oris calami gutture (quod Philoxenus gruino voluit) repetere dapum voluptatem. Neque restrò tantum gaudemus, prensamus sinciput, & in futurum gratulamur: providè factum & tempestivè; eò enim perrexit virtus ve­stra, ut si paululum promoveat, humanos li­mites supergressus eris ineffabilis. At luxat nobis animos divinus horror, cum sacra fa­cturis eminus, & splendor vester & sublimi­tas obversentur. Nictat Religio quae venera­tur. Solem, & tremore Luminum fatetur De­um. Eadem est nostra oculorum Conscienta, qui radios vestros non sine visûs crepusculo sustinemus. Nec minus sublimitatem vestram luimus; siquidem sacrificantium Zelus, tan­quam flamma Sacrificii, quò magis ascendit, eò magis trepidat. Sed Optimus emollis Maximum. Clementia vestra disputat cum Amplitudine, & hac amicissimâ [...]ite, (quasi [Page 224] totius Naturae puerperium) officium nostrum est oriundum. Ignoscimus Fatis immodesti­am suam, quicquid adversi contingit ut favo­ris insidias imputamus. Scilicet recurrere videbantur fortunae vestrae, ut fortius prosili­rent. Comprobavit exitus ingenium com­menti. Militans Ecclesia jam triumphat in promulside; & fluctuans, ut olim Arca, tan­dem in montibus requiescit. Non amplius Collegium Mater Canos lacerat, nec facie suâ computat miserias. Musae, quibus vivere fu­it Hyperbole, nunc audent vigere; quippe Al­titudo vestra (ut Niliaca Aegypti) fertilita­tem Literarum ominatur. Enimvero cum Astra sint soelicitatis nostrae condi-promi; quid est quod à Superis non expectemus, Pa­trono nostro in hac Syderum vicinia collocato? Orandus igitur es, Archi-Praesul Dignissime, ut ambitionem nostram serò sisteres, ut hono­res vestros subinde catenares, & cum supre­mum fortunae gradum conscenderis nec dum terminetur Climax vestra, Coelum superest.

Ad Magistrum Wandesforth.

QVin & nos admittis ad hoc gaudii con­vivium? Commendat epulas rivalis Stomachus, quas solitaria quadra reddit in­sipidas. Liceat nobis commensales esse faeli­citatis tuae, & in communis Triumphi cho­rum accedere. Quorsum autem supplices era­mus, quod jure nostro possumus exposcere? Ea gaudemus gratis quae non solliciti ambi­mus: ubi vero vota nuncupavimus; ubi se­dulis precibus Candidati fuimus,, non imme­ritò victoriae laetitiam arrogamus. Namque nupera est haec voluptas nostra; diuest quod extispices egimus virtutum tuarum, & in illis meritis honores providimus secuturos. Nec dum clauduntur oculi: Mater Collegium usque agit Sibyllam; perge vaticinium for­tunâ indies viridi comprobare; perge Jo­hannensem Genium agnoscere; perge deni­que eò assurgere, ut Mater tua nequeat (quod Parentum erga Liberos conspicilla praestant) majori sub specie representare filium. Sed ne nimii, ubi satis mul [...]i non possumus; in­ter virtutes tuos & recentes honores perpe­tuas [Page 235] vovemus nundinas, qui serio tibi hoc no­vissimum decus gratulamur,

Vinum est Poetarum Equus.

URbs Athenae cum fundaretur, Neptu­nus & Minerva litigarunt uter Civita­tem haberet cognominem, pactum est ut qui majori beneficio humanum genus ditare pos­set, Vrbem nominaret; Neptumus Equum, Pallas olivam produxit, unde victrix Athenas nominavit. Quod si meo judicio stetisset lis, si Neptunus talis Equi, qualis est vinum Author suisset, dignus sanè qui matri Acade­miae dedisset nomen. Vinum Equus, à cujus ungula dulcior fons quam Hippocrene sca­turiit. Equus, qui plures alas ingenio addit quam Pegasus ad volatile remigium accommo­davit, qui labra proluit hoc fonte Caballino, non mirum si in proximo versu Ebrius in bicipiti somniavit Parnasso. Vinum Equus, sed qui sessorem suum saepe excutit, & ad terram affligit, qui tanquam ille Diomedis herum suum devorat, Pitissant poetastri & longa quasi arundine equitant, cum Ennius ip­se pater, nunquam nisi potus ad arma prosiliit dicenda. Horatius toties equitavit, ac si vi­num tanquam Bucephalus neminem praeter illum vectare debuisset. Denique ex hujus e­qui utero plures prodierunt Ingenii heroes quam ex Trojana, Vinum Equus, at Cervi­sia [Page 239] Musarum Mulus majori ex parte Asinus, vel si Equus Succussor potius quàm tolutarius, quam non citius nomino quin stupidus obmu­tesco. Sed tempus est ut Equus mens habenas audiat, huc usque Equo vestro paravi Ephippi­a, tenui stupa, ut vos conscenderetis: Vnicun [...] est quod singulos velim praemonitos, ea est hujus Equi ferocia, ut sobrium illud Phoebi Consili­um sit maturum, Parce puer stimulis & for­tiùs utere loris.