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Vera Effigies IOHANNIS CLEAVILAND

THE WORKS OF Mr. JOHN CLEVELAND, Containing his Poems, Orations, Epistles, Collected into One Uolume, With the LIFE Of the AUTHOR.

LONDON, Printed by R. Holt, for Obadiah Blagrave, at the Bear and Star, over against the little North Door in St. Paul's Church-Yard. 1687.

TO THE Right Worshipful And Reverend FRANCIS TURNER D. D.
Master of St. Iohn's Colledge in Cam­bridge, and to the Worthy Fellows of the same Colledge.

Gentlemen,

THat we interrupt your more serious Studies with the offer of this Peice, the injury that hath been and is done to the deceased Au­thor's Ashes not only pleddeth our Excuse, but engageth you (whose once he was, and within whose Walls this Standard of [Page] Wit was first set up) in the same Quarrel with us.

Whilst Randolph and Cowley lie em­balmed in their own native Wax, how is the Name and Memory of Cleveland equally prophaned by those that usurp, and those that blaspheme it? By those that are am­bitious to lay their Cuckows Eggs in his Nest, and those that think to raise up Phe­nixes of Wit by firing his spicy Bed about him?

We know you have not without passionate Resentments beheld the Prostitution of his Name in some late Editions vended under it, wherein his Orations are murthered over and over in barbarous Latine, and a more barbarous Translation: and wherein is scarce one or other Poem of his own to com­mute for all the rest. At least every Curiasier of his hath a fulsom Dragooner behind him, and Venus is again unequally yoaked with a sooty Anvile-beater. Cleve­land thus revived, dieth another Death.

[Page] You cannot but have beheld with like zea­lous Indignation, how enviously our late Mushrom-wits look up at him, because he o­verdroppeth them, and snarl at his Bright­ness as Dogs at the Moon.

Some of these grand Sophys will not allow him the Reputation of Wit at all: yet how many such Authors must be creamed and spirited to make up his Fuscara? and how many of their slight Productions may be gig­ged out of one of his pregnant Words? There perhaps you may find some Leaf-gold, here massie Wedges; there some scattered Ray, here a Galaxy; there some loose Fancy frisking in the Air, here Wits Zo­diack.

The Quarrel in all this is upbraiding Merit, and Eminence his Crime. His touring Fancy soareth so high a pitch, that they fly like Shades below him. The Tor­rent thereof (which riseth far above their high Water-Mark) drowneth their Levels. Usurping upon the State Poetick of the [Page] time he hath [...]ht [...] such I [...]t Mea­sures of VVit and Language, and that despai­ring to initate, they must statly to under­stand. That above is VVit with them to which they are conmmensurate, and what ex­ceedeth their S [...]ling is monstrous.

That they [...] his VVit and Fancy as the (to win the plamp Oyster when he could not crack it. And now instead of that str [...]s masculine Stile which breath­eth in this A [...]thor, we have only an ener­ [...] effeminate [...]oth offered, as if they had taken the s [...]ivating Pil before they set Pai to Paper. You must hold your Breath in the perusal, lest the Iest vanish by blowing on.

Another Blemish in this Monster of Perfection is the Exuberance of his Fancy. His Manna lieth so thick upon the Ground they loath it. VVhen he should only fan, he with H [...]ricanos of VVit stormeth the Sense, and doth not so much delight his Rea­der, as [...]ppress and overwhelm him.

[Page] To cure this Excess, their frugal VVit hath reduced the VVorld to a Lessian Diet. If perhaps they entertain their Reader with one good Thought (as these new Dictators affect to speak) he may sit down and say Grace over it: the rest is VVords, and no­thing else.

VVe will leave them therefore to the most proper Vengeance, to humour themselves with the perusal of their own Poems: And leave the Barber to rub their thick Skulls with Bran until they are fit for Musk. On­ly we will leave this friendly Advice with them; that they have an Eye upon John Tredeskant's Executor, lest among his other Minims of Art and Nature he expose their slight Conceits: And another upon the Roy­al Society, lest they make their Poems the Counter-ballance when they intend to weigh Air.

From these unequal Censures we appeal to such competent Iudges as your selves, in whose just value of him, Cleveland shall live the [Page] VVonder of his own, and the pattern of suc­ceeding Ages. And although we might (up­on several Accompts) bespeak your Affe­ctions, yet (abstracting from these) we submit him to your severer Iudgments, and doubt not but he will find that Patro­nage from you which is desired and expected by

Your humble Servants. I. L. S. D.

A short Account of the Author's Life.

HE was born at Hinckley, a small Mar­ket Town in the County of Leicest­er; if we may esteem that small, which glo­rieth in so great a Birth.

His Father was the Reverend and Lear­ned Minister of the place; Fortes creantur è fortibus. Being thus well descended for a Vein of Learning, he even lisped Wit, like an English Bard, and was early ripe for the University, who was one.

To cherish so great hopes, the Lady Mar­garet drew forth both her Breasts. Christ's Colledge in Cambridge gave him Admissi­on, and St. Iohn's a Fellowship. There he lived about the space of nine years, the Delight and Ornament of that Soeiety. What Service, as well as Reputation he did it, let his Orations and Epistles speak; to which the Library oweth much of its Learning, the Chappel much of its pious Decency, and the Colledge much of its Renown.

[Page] The Rays, which he thus shed upon o­thers, reflected upon himself. But that which alone may suffice for his Honour is, that after the Oration which he addressed to that Incomparable Prince, of Blessed Memory, Charles the First, the King called for him, and (with great Expressions of Kindness) gave him his Hand to kiss, and commanded a Copy to be sent after him to Huntington, whither he was hastening that Night.

Thus he shined with equal Light and In­fluence until the general Eclipse; of which no Man had more Sagacious Prognosticks. When Oliver was in Election to be Burge [...]s for the Town of Cambridge, as he engaged all his Friends and Interests to oppose it, so when it was passed, he said with much passionate Zeal, That single Vote had rui­ned both Church and Kingdom. Such Ha­vock the good Prophet beheld in Hazael's Face. Such fatal Events did he presage from his bloody Beak. And no sooner did that Schritch-Owl appear in the University, but this Sun declined. Perceiving the O­stracism that was intended, he became a Vo­luntier in his Academick Exile, and would no longer breath the common Air with such Pests of Mankind.

[Page] From thence he betook himself to the Camp of his Sovereign, and particularly to Oxford the Head-Quarter of it, as the most proper and proportionate Sphere for his Wit, Learning and Loyalty; and added no small Lustre to that with which that famous Uni­versity shined before.

His next Stage was the Garrison of New­ark, where he was Judge Advocate, until the Surrender: And, by an excellent Tem­perature of both, was a just and prudent Judge for the King, and a faithful Advo­cate for the Country. There he drew up that Gallant Return to the Summons of the Besiegers, which spake him, and the rest that were embarked with him, resolute to sacrifice their Lives to their Loyalty, had not the King's especial Command, when first he had surrendred himself into the hands of the Scots, made such stubborn Loyalty a Crime. And here again he was Vates in the whole Import of the Word, both Poet and Prophet▪ for, beside his passionate Resentment of it in that Excel­lent Poem, The King's Disguise, upon some private Intelligence, three Days before the King reached them, he foresaw the Peices of Silver paying upon the Banks of Tweed, and that they were the price of his Sove­reign's [Page] Blood, and predicted the Tragical Events.

Thenceforth he followed the Fates of distressed Loyalty, for which, when he had been long imprisoned at Yarmouth, he ad­dressed his Petition to Oliver; wherein he courted his Freedom with such Insinuations, as might neither do Violence to his Consci­ence, nor betray his Cause.

After many intermediate Stages (which contended as emulously for his Abode, as the seven Cities for Homer's Birth) Grays-Inn was his last: Which when he had enno­bled with some short Residence also, an In­termitting Fever seized him, whereof he dy­ed. A Disease at that time epidemical: And if it had taken him only away (so publick was the Loss) it deserved to carry the Name of a Common Mortality.

He was buried upon the first Day of May (for which nothing but the 29. can attone) in the Parish Church of St. Michael Royal upon Colledge Hill London, Anno 1658. To which being attended by many Persons of Learning and Loyalty, Mr. Edward Thurman performed the Office of Burial, and the Reverend and Learned Dr. Pear­son (now Lord Bishop of Chester) Preached his Funeral Sermon, and made his Death Glorious.

[Page] And now there wanteth nothing but a Monument for him; and in this Book he hath erected one to himself, which Envy may repine at, but cannot reach.

CLEVELANDI Manibus, Parentalia.

UMbradiu Elysii lachrymabilis accola Pindi,
Pieriis haesit quae taciturna vadis.
Pegaseo meritae nudatáque remige primae
Serpsit humi, gemino dignior illa jugo;
Tandem cùm cursum popularior aura negâsset,
Trajecit Famae vela datura suae.
Luce novâ radians, jam fulgida cernitur umbra
Cui numen Phaebus faenorat, atque facem.
Ridet Hyampei (que) humilem de vertice vallem,
Et volitat pennâ non nisi vecta suâ.
Iam reparat famae damnosa silentia, totâ
Qui canitúrque Deae, Pieridumque tubâ.
Ca [...]ue suâ [...] jam durabunt carmina, cedro,
Elusere minas temporis & tineae.
Blatta suo vexit Clevelandum Critica morsu,
Usque suas ungues rodat, & usque virum;
Commistum salibus tamen ut gustarit acetum,
Deciduae ultricem mittit hirundo cutem.
Usque Cothurnato conculcent carmina socco,
Queis, praeter fastum, nil sua Roma dedit;
Usque necet Vatem crudum de pegmate Drama,
Et levis excipiat tam grave visus opus;
Attamen in meritos transibunt Sibila plausus,
Clamosumque, premet murmur inane, Sophos.
[Page] Altior incedit vates pumilone Cothurno,
Grandius & superat pegmata celsa decus,
Nostra quidem proavos aetas malè passa Poetas,
Vix canos gemino suspicit ore dies:
Sed resplendit adhuc aeterni nominis umbra,
Atque poëtastris dat sine nube diem.
Cui Tagus est Helicon, & Mons auratus, Olym­pus,
Qui totas numerat Carmine divitias.
Plurima cui nitido collucet gemma libello,
Quamvis non panxit Sar donychata manus.
Dissimili ingenio qui plumbea saecla flagellat,
Quique alter Musis praesit Apollo suis.
Cedit in exemplar venturi temporis, aetas
Seraque Clevelandum consulet Archetypum.
J. L.
1.
HAil venerable Reliques! Unto whom
Old and new Idolatrous Rome
Might pay Devotion
Free from Superstition.
Your sacred Oracles found the Sybils Fate,
Equally Divine, alike unfortuuate,
Injurious time did both disperse,
Like Pompey's Ruins, through an Universe.
Whose Leaves (like these) scattered were,
The Burthen of the swelling Air,
Though faln, yet like their Laurels flourishing and fair.
Those sacrific'd to Tarquin's Fame,
Deriv'd their Splendor from their flame:
These from Charles his Name
Illustrious became.
2.
Hail Mercury's and Apollo's Son!
If not by Nature, sure by Adoption;
By whose joint Gift thou dost inherit
Cicero's Tongue, and Virgil's Spirit.
[Page] Worthy thou enshrin'd to rest
In a sacred Vatican,
Or learned Tusculan,
Worthy of Mecoenas Breast.
Iustly the Muses styl'd, and Caesars Laureate,
Since in the State
Thy Pen did the Sword's Business anticipate.
Thy Quill the Roman Eagles did out-fly,
And conquering taught the Rebel Scot fidelity.
The noblest Triumph, and the happiest Victory.
The Caledonian Satyr scarce thine withstood;
Unto thy Lawrel stoop'd the Glory of his Wood;
From thee Montross had learn'd to write in Wounds and Blood.
3.
Thou Coesar like, for Sword and Book renown'd,
Both in the Muses camp, and Martial crown'd;
(As if thy sacred Wreath was meant
Both Wits and Lightnings flashes to prevent,
Both for Security and Ornament)
Thy no less flourishing praise
Deserves Minerva's double Bays,
Who sang so sweet in troublesome, and Hal­cyon days;
Trent's dying Swans we see o'recome with thy Mantuan lays.
[Page] Both ready to resign that Breath
With which you sing your own, and Countrys Death.
Of Newark's, and your own sad Story,
The equal Grief and Glory.
4.
Hail Celestial Urn!
Whose Ashes like the Neighbouring Stars do shine and burn,
And liberally dispense
To the Poetick World Wit's Benevolence;
Whose greater Orb the less doth influence.
Hail Reverend Bard whose name in british Sto­ry
Shall raise new Monuments of Glory,
Whereon thou sublim'd shall sit
The Genius of Wit.
The winged Pegasus mounts so high,
As if to the Wind the Gennet ow'd his Progeny.
The lofty Pindar stops his flight,
And only gazeth at not emulates thy height.
Whom at that distance plac'd we see
There's no Parallel for thy Degree,
But thine own Climax, or Hyperbole,
Which out soars Dedalus his Pitch, wihout his Destiny.
L. T.

In Tertiam (at verò primam) Editionem Poematum Iohannis Clevelandi.

QUid video? Video, et laetor spectare cluentis
Quam bene vulgati Tertia scripti libri.
Annon prima valent? nec adhuc genuina secunda
Quis spurias chartas edidit hasce suas?
Quis fuit hos pupos, strigosos, & malè sanos
Qui genuît? prolem & te genuisse blatit:
Hujus Tune parens? imò nec Compater, ipsam
Consortem Tumuli ne patiare Tui:
Sed sic ludit iners & credula sama popelli,
Unus delirat, plectitur innocuus.
Non nova peccanti res est simulare parentem,
Non nova mentiri nomen, & ora viri;
Filius ast tandem Clevelandi en Filius ipse,
Natus & ex Cerebro, ut nata Minerva Jovis.
Et cùm Cromvelicis nova Troja erat obruta flammis
Filius ut veteris sustulit ille Patrem.
Non est quòd dubites (lector) patrem exprimit ipsum,
Regius, omninò Regius, Acta sonans;
Ingenio eloquio (que) potens, sed verba fatiscunt,
Solus qui potis est dicere, Tolle Librum,
Gasparus Justice.

In mortem Doctissimi, & Poetarum plane Principis Domini Clevelandi Epicedium.

QUi metricis nollet pedibus cantare Pae­tam
Pierides faciant, ut pereat podagrâ
Quae vestros Clevelande manus non pingit ho­nores,
Scaevola, vel Tecum sentiat esse rogum.
Pullatus lachrymor, quoties Lux ista recurrit
Rubricam mortis quae memorare jubet.
Hinc Epocham, numeret Luctús, Ecclesia & inde
Proh dolor! Exitium Carolus ipse suum.
In Scotos gladio Tibi Musa potentior olim:
Versibus & Victi succubuere Tuis.
Vota utinam in Terris Regem renoventque Poetam
Hic Te Tuque illo Carole, dignus erat.
Sic cecinit summo cum moerore Edvardus Thurman.

On Mr. Cleveland and his Poems.

CLeveland again his sacred Head doth raise
Ev'n in the Dust crown'd with immortal Bays,
Again with Verses arm'd, that once did fright
Lycambes's Daughters from the hated Light,
Sets his bold Foot on Reformations Neck,
And triumphs o'er the vanquished Monster Smeck.
That Hydra whose proud Heads did so e [...] ­crease
That it deserv'd no less an Hercules.
This, this is he who in Poëtick Rage
With Scorpions lash'd the Madness of the Age;
Who durst the Fashions of the Times despise
And be a Wit when all Mankind grew Wise:
When formal Beards at twenty one were seen,
And Men grew Old almost as soon as Men;
Who in those Days when Reason, Wit, and Sense
Were by the Zealots grave Impertinence
Ycleped Folly, and in Ve-ri-ty
Did savour rankly of Carnality:
When each notch'd Prentice might a Poet prove,
For warbling through the Nose a Hymn of Love:
When Sage George Withers and Grave Willi­am Pryn
Himself might for a Poets share put in;
[Page] Yet then could wite writh so much Art and Skill,
That Rome might envy his Satyrick Quill,
And crabbed Persius his hard Lines give o'er,
And in Disdain beat his brown Desk no more.
How I admire thee, Cleveland! When I weigh
Thy close wrought Sense, and every Line survey?
They are not like those things which some com­pose
Who in a Maze of Words the wandring Sense do lose,
Who spin one Thought into so long a Thread,
And beat their Wit too thin to make it spread;
Till'tis too fine for our weak Eyes to find,
And dwindles into nothing in the end.
No; they'r above the Genius of this Age
Each Word of thine swells pregnant with a Page.
Then why do some Mens nicer Ears complain
Of the uneven Harshness of thy Strain?
Preferring to the Vigour of thy Muse,
Some smooth, weak Rhymer, that so gently flows,
That Ladies may his easie Strains admire
And melt like Wax before the softning Fire.
Let such to Women write, you write to Men;
We study Thee, when we but play with Them.
CLEVELAND'S POEMS. D …

CLEVELAND'S POEMS. Digested in Order.

SECT. I. Containing Love-Poems.

Fuscara or the Bee Errant.

NAture's Confectioner the Bee,
(Whose Suckets are moist Alchimy;
The Still of his refining Mold
Minting the Garden into Gold)
Having rifled all the Fields
Of what Dainties Flora yields.
Ambitious now to take Excise
Of a more fragrant Paradise,
At my Fuscara's sleeve arriv'd,
Where all delicious. Sweets are hiv'd.
The Airy Free-booter distrains
First on the Violet of her Veins,
[Page 2] Whose Tincture could it be more pure,
His ravenous kiss had made it blewer.
Here did he sit, and Essence quaff,
Till her coý P [...]lse had beat him off;
That Pulse, which he that feels may know
Whether the World's long liv'd, or no.
The [...]xt he pre [...] on is her Palm,
That Alm'ner of transpiring Balm;
So soft, 'tis Air but once remov'd,
Tender, as 'twere a Jelly glov'd.
Here, while his canting Drone-pipe scan'd
The my stick Figures of her hand,
He tipples Palmestry, and dines
On all her Fortune-telling Lines:
He bathes in Bliss, and finds no odds
Betwixt this Nectar and the Gods.
He perches now upon her Wrist
(A proper Hawk for such a Fist)
Making that Flesh his Bill of Fare,
Which hungry Canibals would spare;
Where Lillies in a lovely brown
Inoculate Carnation.
Her [...] Skin with Or so stream'd,
As if the milky-way were cream'd;
From hence he to the Wood bine bends
That quivers at her fingers ends,
That runs division on [...] Tree,
Like a thick-branching Pedigree;
So 'tis not her the Bee devours,
It is a pretty Maze of Flowers.
It is the Rose that bleeds, when he
Nibbles his nice Phlebotomy.
About her finger he doth cling
[...] fashion of a Wedding Ring,
[Page 3] And bids his Comrades of the Swarm
Crawl like a Bracelet 'bout her Arm.
Thus when the hovering Publican
Had suck'd the Toll of all her Span,
(Tuning his draughts with drowsie Hums,
As Danes Carouze by Kettle-drums)
It was decreed (that Posie glean'd)
The small Familiar should be wean'd.
At this the Erran [...]'s Courage quails;
Yet aided by his native Sails,
The bold Columbus still designs
To find her undiscover'd Mines.
To th' Indies of her Arm he flies,
Fraught both with East and Western Prize,
Which when he had in vain essay'd,
(Arm'd like a Dapper Lancepresade
With Spanish Pike) he broach'd a Pore,
And so both made and heal'd the Sore:
For as in Gummy Trees there's found
A Salve to issue at the Wound;
Of this her breach the like was true,
Hence trickled out a Balsom too.
But oh! What Wasp was't that could prove
Ravilliac to my Queen of Love?
The King of Bees now jealous grown,
Lest her Beams should melt his Throne,
And finding that his Tribute slacks,
His Burgesses and State of Wax
Turn'd to an Hospital; the Combs
Built Rank and File; like Beadsen Rooms,
And what they bleed but tart and sowre,
Match'd with my Danae's golden showre,
Live Honey all, the envious El [...]
Stung her, 'cause sweeter than himself.
[Page 4] Sweetness and she are so alli'd,
The Bee committed Parricide,

The Senses Festival.

I Saw a Vision yesternight
Enough to sate a Seeker's sight;
I wish'd my self a Shaker there,
And her quick Pants my trembling Sphere.
It was a She so glittering bright,
You'd think her Soul an Adamite;
A Person of so rare a frame,
Her Body might be lin'd with th'same.
Beauty's chiefest Maid of Honour,
You may break Lent with looking on her.
Not the fair Abbess of the Skies,
With all her Nunnery of eyes,
Can shew me such a Glorious Prize.
And yet because 'tis more Renown
To make a shadow shine, she's brown;
A Brown for which Heaven would disband
The Galaxie, and Stars be tann'd;
Brown by Reflection, as her Eye
Deals out the Summer's Livery.
Old dormant Windows must confess
Her Beams, their glimmering Spectacles,
Struck with the Splendor of her face,
Do th'office of a Burning-glass.
Now where such radiant Lights have shown,
No wonder if her Cheeks be grown
Sun-burnt, with Lustre of her own.
[Page 5] My Sight took pay; but (thank my Charms)
I now impale her in mine Arms;
(Love's Compasses, confining you
Good Angels, to a Circle too.)
Is not the Universe strait lac'd,
When I can clasp it in the Waste?
My amorous Fold about thee hurl'd,
With Drake I girdle in the World;
I hoop the Firmament, and make
This my Embrace the Zodiack.
How could thy Center take my Sence,
When Admiration doth commence
At the extreme Circumference?
Now to the melting Kiss that sips
The Jellyed Philtre of her Lips;
So Sweet there is no Tongue can prays't,
Till transubstantiate with a Taste,
Inspir'd like Mahomet from above,
By th'Billing of my Heavenly Dove.
Love prints his Signets in her Smacks,
Those ruddy drops of squeezing Wax,
Which wheresoever she imparts,
They're Privy-Seals to take up Hearts.
Our mouths encountring at the Sport,
My slippery Soul had quit the Fort,
But that she stop'd the Sally-port.
Next to these Sweets, her Lips dispense
(As Twin-conserves of Eloquence)
The Sweet Perfume her Breath affords,
Incorporating with her Words.
No Rosary this Vot'ress needs,
Her very Syllables are Beads.
[Page 6] No sooner 'twixt those Rubies born,
But Jewels are in Ear [...]ings worn.
With what delight her Speech doth enter,
It is a Kiss o'th'second Venter.
And I dissolve at what I hear,
As if another Rosamond were
Couch'd in the Labyrinth of my ear.
Yet that's but a preludious Bliss,
Two Souls Pickeering in a Kiss.
Embraces do but draw the Line,
'Tis storming that must take her in.
When Bodies joyn, and Victory hovers
'Twixt the equal fluttering Lovers,
This is the Game; make stakes, my Dear!
Heark, how the sprightly Chanticlere
(That Baron Tell-clock of the Night)
Sounds Boute-sel to Cupid's Knight.
Then have at all, the Pass is got,
For coming off, oh name it not!
Who would not dye upon the spot?

To Julia to expedite her Promise.

SInce 'tis my Doom, Love's Undershrieve,
Why this Reprieve?
Why doth my She Advowson fly Incumbency?
Panting Expectance makes us prove
The Anticks of benighted Love;
And wither'd Mates when Wedlock joyns,
They'r Hymen's Monkies, which he ties by th'Loins,
To play alas! but at rebated Foins.
[Page 7] To sell thy self dost thou intend
By Candle's-end,
And hold the Contract thus in doubt
Life's Taper out?
Think but how soon the Market fails,
Your Sex lives faster than the Males;
As if to measure Ages span,
The sober Iulian were th'Account of Man,
Whilst you live by the fleet Gregorian.
Now since you bear a Date so short,
Live double for't.
How can thy Fortress ever stand,
If't be not Man'd?
The Siege so gains upon the Place,
Thoul't find the Trenches in thy Face.
Pity thy self then, if not me,
And hold not out, lest like Ostend thou be,
Nothing but Rubbish at Delivery.
The Candidates of Peter's Chair
Must plead gray hair,
And use the Simony of a Cough
To help them off;
But when I woo thus old and spent,
I'll wed by Will and Testament.
No; let us Love while crisp'd and curl'd;
The greatest Honours on the aged hurl'd,
Are but gay Fu [...]lows for another World.
To morrow what thou tendrest me
Is Legacy.
Not one of all those ravenous hours
But thee devours.
[Page 8] And though thou still recruited be,
Like Pelops, with soft Ivory;
Though thou consume but to renew,
Yet Love, as Lord, doth claim a Heriot due;
That's the best quick thing I can find of you.
I feel thou art consenting ripe
By that soft gripe,
And those regealing Crystal Spheres.
I hold thy Tears
Pledges of more distilling Sweets,
Than the Bath that ushers in the Sheets.
Else pious Iulia, Angel-wise,
Moves the Bethesda of her trickling Eyes,
To cure the Spittle-World of Maladies.

The Hecatomb to his Mistress.

BE dumb you Beggars of the rhyming Trade,
Geld your loose Wits, and let your Muse be spade.
Charge not the Parish with your bastard Phrase
Of Balm, Elixir, both the India's,
Of Shrine, Saint, Sacrifice, and Tuch as these,
Expressions common as your Mistresses.
Hence you Phantastick Postillers in Song,
My Text defeats your Art, ties Nature's tongue,
Scorns all her Tinsoyl'd Metaphors of Pelf,
Illustrated by nothing but her self.
As Spiders travel by their bowels spun
Into a Thread, and when the Race is run,
Wind up their Journey in a living Clew;
So is it with my Poetry and you.
From your own Essence must I first untwine,
Then twist again each Panegyrick Line.
[Page 9] Reach then a Soaring Quill that I may write,
As with a Iacob's Staff to take her height.
Suppose an Angel darting through the Air,
Should there Encounter a religious Prayer
Mounting to Heaven, that Intelligence
Would for a Sunday-Suit thy Breath condense
Into a Body. Let me crack a string,
And venture higher. Were the Note I sing
Above Heaven's Ela; should I then decline,
And with a deep-mouth'd Gammut sound the Line
From Pole to Pole, I could not reach her worth,
Nor find an Epithet to shadow't forth.
Metals may blazon common Beauties; she
Makes Pearls and Planets humble Heraldry.
As then a purer Substance is defin'd
But by an heap of Negatives combin'd,
Ask what a Spirit is, you'l hear them cry,
It hath no Matter, no Mortality:
So can I not describe how sweet, how fair,
Only I say, she's not as others are:
For what Perfection we to others grant,
It is her sole Perfection to want.
All other Forms seem, in respect of thee,
The Almanack's mishap'd Anatomy:
Where Aries head and face, Bull neck and throat,
The Scorpion gives the Secrets, Knees the Goat;
A Brief of Limbs foul as those beasts, or are
Their name-sake Signs in their strange Character.
As your Phylosophers to every Sense
Marry its Object, yet with some dispense,
And grant them a Polygamy with all,
And these their common Sensibles they call:
So is't with her, who, stinted unto none,
Unites all Senses in each action.
[Page 10] The same Beam heats and lights, to see her well
Is both to hear and see, and taste and smell:
For can you want a Palate in your Eyes,
When each of hers contains the beauteous prize,
Venus's Apple? Can your Eyes want Nose,
Seeing each Cheek buds forth a fragrant Rose?
Or can your Sight be deaf to such a quick
And well-tun'd Face, such moving Rhetorick?
Doth not each Look a Flash of Lightning feel,
Which spares the Body's sheath, yet melts the steel?
Thy Soul must needs confess, or grant thy Sense
Corrupted with the Object's Excellence.
Sweet Magick, which can make five Senses lie
Conjur'd within the Circle of an Eye!
In whom since all the five are intermixt,
Oh now that Scaliger would prove his sixt!
Thou Man of mouth, that canst not name a She,
Unless all Nature pay a Subsidy;
Whose Language is a Tax, whose Musk-cat Verse
Voids nought but Flowers for thy Muses Herse,
Fitter than Celia's Looks, who in a trice
Canst state the long disputed Paradice:
And (what Divines hunt with so cold a scent)
Canst in her Bosom find it resident;
Now come aloft, come now, and breath a Vein,
And give some vent unto thy daring strain.
Say the Astrologer who spells the Stars,
In that fair Alphabet reads Peace and Wars,
Mistakes his Globe, and in her brighter eye
Interprets Heaven's Physiognomy.
Call her the Metaphysicks of her Sex,
And say she tortures Wits, as Quartans vex
Physicians; call her the squar'd Circle; say
She is the very Rule of Algebra;
[Page 11] What e'er thou understand'st not say't of her,
For that's the way to write her Character.
Say this and more, and when thou hop'st to raise
Thy Fancy so as to inclose her praise,
Alas poor Gotham, with thy Cuckow-hedge!
Hyperboles are here but Sacriledge.
Then-roll up Muse what thou hast ravel'd out;
Some Comments clear not, but increase the doubt.
She that affords poor Mortals not a glance
Of Knowledge, but is known by Ignorance.
She that commits a Rape on every Sense,
Whose Breath can countermand a Pestilence.
She that can strike the best Invention dead,
Till baffled Poetry hangs down the head.
She, she it is that doth contain all Bliss,
And makes the World but her Periphrasis.

The Antiplatonick.

FOr shame thou everlasting Wooer,
Still saying Grace, and ne'er fall to her!
Love that's in Contemplation plac'd,
Is Venus drawn but to the waste.
Unless your Flame confess its Gender,
And your Parly cause Surrender,
Y'are Salamanders of a cold Desire,
That live untouch'd amidst the hottest fire.
What though she be a Dame of stone,
The Widow of Pigmalion:
An hard and unrelenting She,
As the new-crusted Niobe;
Or (what doth more of statue carry)
A Nun of the Platonick Quarry?
[Page 12] Love melts the rigor which the Rocks have bred;
A Flint will break upon a Feather-bed.
For shame you pretty Female Elves,
Cease thus to candy up your selves;
No more you Sectaries of the Game,
No more of your calcining Flame.
Women commence by Cupid's Dart,
As a King hunting Dubs a Hart.
Love's Votaries enthral each other's Soul,
Till both of them live but upon Parole.
Virtue's no more in Womankind
But the Green-sickness of the Mind.
Philosophy (their new Delight)
A kind of Charcoal Appetite.
There is no Sophistry prevails,
Where all-convincing Love assails;
But the disputing Petticoat will warp,
As Skilful Gamesters are to seek at sharp.
The Souldier, that Man of Iron,
Whom Ribs of Horror all environ;
That's strung with Wire instead of Veins,
In whose Embraces you're in Chains;
Let a Magnetick Girl appear,
Straight he turns Cupid's Cuiraseer.
Love storms his Lips, and takes the Fortress in,
For all the bristled Turn-pike of his Chin.
Since Love's Artillery then checks
The Breast-works of the firmest Sex:
Come let us in affections riot;
Th'are sickly Pleasures keep a diet.
[Page 13] Give me a Lover bold and free,
Not Eunuch'd with Formality;
Like an Embassador that beds a Queen,
With the nice Caution of a Sword between.

Upon Phillis walking in a Morning before Sun-rising.

THe sluggish Morn as yet undrest,
My Phillis brake from out her East,
As if she'd made a match to run
With Venus, usher to the Sun.
The Trees, like Yeomen of the Guard
(Serving her more for Pomp than Ward)
Rank'd on each side, with Loyal Duty,
Weav'd Branches to inclose her Beauty.
The Plants, whose Luxury was lopp'd,
Or Age with Crutches underpropp'd,
(Whose wooden Carkases were grown
To be but Coffins of their own)
Revive, and at her general Dole
Each receives his Ancient Soul.
The winged Choristers began
To chirp their Mattins, and the Fan
Of whistling Winds like Organs play'd,
Until their Voluntaries made
The weakened Earth in Odors rise
To be her Morning Sacrifice.
The Flowers call'd out of their Beds,
Start and raise up their drowsie Heads;
And he that for their colour seeks
May see it vaulting to her Cheeks:
Where Roses mix; no Civil War
Divides her York and Lancaster.
[Page 14] The Marygold (whose Courtier's face
Ecchoes the Sun, and doth un [...]ace
Her at his rise, at his full stop
Packs and shuts up her gaw [...]y Shop)
Mistakes her Cue, and doth display:
Thus Phillis antedates the day.
These Miracles had cramp'd the Sun,
Who fearing that his Kingdom's won,
Powders with Light his frizled Locks,
To see what Saint his Lustre mocks.
The trembling Leaves; through which he play'd,
Dappling the Walk with light and shade,
Like Lattice-windows give the Spye
Room but to peep with half an eye;
Lest her full Orb his sight should dim,
And bid us all good [...]ght in him;
Till she should spend a gentle Ray,
To force us a new fashion'd Day.
But what religious Palsie's this,
Which make the Bows divest their bliss;
And that they might her foot steps straw,
Drop their Leaves with shivering awe?
Phillis perceiv'd, and (lest her stay
Should wed October unto May,
And as her Beauty caus'd a Spring,
Devotion might an Autumn bring)
Withdrew her Beams, yet made no Night,
But left the Sun her Curate [...]ght.

To Mrs. K. T. who asked him why he was dumb, written calente Calamo.

STay, should I answer, Lady, then
In vain would be your Question.
Should I be dumb, why then again
Your asking me would be in vain.
Silence, nor Speech, on either hand,
Can satisfie this strange demand.
Yet since your Will throws me upon
This wished Contradiction;
I'll tell you how I did become
So strangely, as you hear me, dumb.
Ask but the chap-fallen Puritan,
'Tis Zeal that Tongue-tyes that good man;
(For heat of Conscience all men hold
Is th'only way to catch that Cold:)
How should Love's Zealot then forbear
To be your silenc'd Minister?
Nay your Religion, which doth grant
A Worship due to you my Saint,
Yet counts it that Devotion wrong,
That does it in the Vulgar Tongue.
My ruder words would give offence
To such an hallow'd Excellence;
As th'English Dialect would vary
The Goodness of an Ave Mary.
How can I speak that twice am check'd
By this, and that Religious Sect?
Still dumb, and in your Face I spy
Still Cause, and still Divinity.
As soon as blest with your Salute,
My Manners taught me to be mute,
[Page 16] Lest I should cancel all the Bliss
You sign'd with so divine a Kiss.
The Lips you seal must needs consent
Unto the Tongue's Imprisonment.
My Tongue in hold, my Voice doth rise
With a strange Ela to my eyes.
Where it gets Bail, and in that sense
Begins a new found Eloquence.
Oh listen with attentive sight
To what my prating Eyes indite!
Or, Lady, since 'tis in your choice
To give, or to suspend my Voice,
With the same Key set ope'the Door,
Wherewith you lock'd it fast before.
Kiss once again, and when you thus
Have doubly been Miraculous:
My Muse shall write with Handmaid Duty
The Golden Legend of your Beauty
He whom his Dumbness now confines,
Intends to speak the rest by Signs.

A Fair Nymph scorning a Black Boy courting her.

Nymph.
STand off, and let me take the Air,
Why should the smoke pursue the fair?
Boy.
My Face is smoke, thence may be guest
What Flames within have scorch'd my breast.
Nymph.
Thy flaming Love I cannot view,
For the dark Lanthorn of thy Hue.
Boy.
And yet this Lanthorn keeps Love's Taper
Surer than your's that's of white Paper.
What ever Midnight can be here,
The Moon-shine of your Face will clear.
[Page 17] Nymph.
My Moon of an Eclipse is 'fraid;
If thou should'st interpose thy Shade.
Boy.
Yet one thing, Sweet-heart, I will ask,
Take me for a new fashion'd Mask.
Nymph.
Done: but my Bargain shall be this,
I'll throw my Mask off when I kiss.
Boy
Our curl'd Embraces shall delight
To checker Limbs with black and white.
Nymph.
Thy Ink, my Paper, make me guess
Our Nuptial-bed will prove a Press;
And in our Sports, if any come,
They'l read a wanton Epigram.
Boy.
Why should my Black thy Love impair?
Let the dark Shop commend the Ware;
Or if thy Love from black forbears,
I'll strive to wash it off with Tears.
Nymph.
Spare fruitless Tears, since thou must needs
Still wear about thy mourning Weeds.
Tears can no more affection win,
Than wash thy Aethiopian Skin.

A Young Man to an Old Woman courting him.

PEace Beldam Eve, surcease thy Suit,
There's no Temptation in such Fruit.
No rotten Medlars, whilst there be
Whole Orchards in Virginity.
Thy Stock is too much out of Date
For tender Plants t'inoculate.
A Match with thee the Bridegroom fears
Would be thought Incest in his years;
Which when compar'd to thine become
Odd Money to thy Grandam Sum.
[Page 18] Can Wedlock know so great a Curse,
As putting Husbands out to Nurse?
How Pond and Rivers would mistake,
And cry new Almanacks for our sake?
Time sure hath wheel'd about his Year,
December meeting Ianiveer.
Th' Aegyptian Serpent figures Time,
And strip'd, returns into his Prime.
If my Affection thou wouldst win,
First cast thy Hieroglyphick Skin.
My Modern Lips know not, alack!
The old Religion of thy Smack.
I count that Primitive Embrace,
As out of Fashion, as thy Face;
And yet so long 'tis since thy fall,
Thy Fornication's Classical.
Our Sports will differ, thou must play
Lero, and I Alphonso way.
I'm no Translator, have no vein
To turn a Woman young again;
Unless you'l grant the Taylor's due,
To see the Fore-bodies he new.
I love to wear Cloths that are flush,
Not prefacing old Rags with Plush,
Like Aldermen or Under-shrieves
With Canvas Backs, and Velvet Sleeves:
And just such Discord there would be
Betwixt thy Skeleton and me.
Do study Salve and Triacle, ply
Your Tenant's Leg, or his sore Eye.
Thus Matrons purchase Credit, thank,
Six penny-worth of Mountebank:
Or chew thy Cud on some Delight,
That thou didst taste in Eighty eight;
[Page 19] Oh be but Bed-rid once, and then
Thoul't dream thy youthful Sins agen:
But if thou needs wilt be my Spouse,
First hearken and attend my Vows.
When Aetna's fires shall undergo
The Penance of the Alpes in Snow;
When Sol at one blast of his Horn
Posts from the Crab to Capricorn;
When the Heavens shuffle all in one,
The Torrid with the Frozen Zone;
When all these Contradictions meet,
Then, Sybil, thou and I will greet:
For all these Similies do hold
In my young Heat, and thy dull Cold.
Then, if a Fever be so good
A Pimp as to inflame thy Blood,
Hymen shall twist thee and thy Page,
The distinct Tropicks of Man's Age,
Well, Madam Time, be ever bald,
I'll not thy Perriwig be call'd:
I'll never be 'stead of a Lover,
An aged Chronicle's new Cover.

Upon an Hermaphrodite.

SIr, or Madam, choose you whether,
Nature twists you both together,
And makes thy Soul two Garbs consess,
Both Petticoat and Breeches Dress:
Thus we chastise the God of Wine
With Water that is Feminine,
Until the cooler Nymph abate
His Wrath, and so concorporate.
[Page 20] Adam, till his Rib was lost,
Had the Sexes thus ingrost.
When Providence our Sire did cleave,
And out of Adam carved Eve:
Then did Man 'bout Wedlock treat,
To make his Body up compleat.
Thus Matrimony speaks but thee
In a Grave Solemnity:
For Man and Wife make but one right
Canonical Hermaphrodite.
Ravel thy Body, and I find
In every Limb a double kind.
Who would not think that Head a pair,
That breeds such Faction in the Hair?
One half so churlish in the Touch,
That rather than endure so much,
I would my tender Limbs apparel
With Regulus his nailed Barrel:
But the other half so small,
And so amourous withal,
That Cupid thinks each Hair doth grow
A String for his invisible Bow.
When I look Babies in thine Eyes,
Here Venus, there Adonis lies;
And though thy Beauty be high Noon,
Thy Orb contains both Sun and Moon.
How many melting Kisses skip,
'Twixt thy Male and Female Lip?
'Twixt thy upper brush of Hair,
And thy neather Beard's despair?
When thou speak'st (I would not wrong
Thy Sweetness with a double Tongue,
But) in every single Sound
A perfect Dialogue is found.
[Page 21] Thy Breasts distinguish one another,
This the Sister, that the Brother.
When thou joyn'st Hands my Ear still fancies
The Nuptial Sound, I Iohn take Frances.
Feel but the difference soft and rough,
This a Gantlet, that a Muff.
Had sly Ulysses at the Sack
Of Troy brought thee his Pedler's Pack,
And Weapons too to know Achilles
From King Lycomedes, Phillis
His Plot had fail'd; this hand would feel
The Needle, that the Warlike Steel.
When Musick doth thy pace advance,
Thy right Leg takes the left to dance:
Nor is't a Galliard danc'd by one,
But a mixt Dance, though all alone.
Thus every Het'roclite apart
Changes Gender, but thy Heart;
Nay those which Modesty can mean,
But dare not speak, are Epicene.
That Gamester needs must overcome,
That can play both with Tib and Tom.
Thus did Nature's Mintage vary,
Coyning thee a Philip and Mary.

The Author to his Hermaphrodite made af­ter Mr. Randolph's Death, yet inserted into his Poems.

PRoblem of Sexes! Must thou likewise be
As disputable in thy Pedegree?
Thou Twins in one, in whom Dame Nature tries
To throw less than Aums Ace upon two Dice.
[Page 22] Wer't thou serv'd up two in one Dish, the rather
To split thy Sire into a double Father?
True; the World's Scales are even, what the Main
In one place gets, another quits again.
Nature lost one by thee, and therefore must
Slice one in two to keep her number just.
Plurality of Livings is thy State,
And therefore mine must be Impropriate:
For since the Child is mine, and yet the Claim
Is intercepted by another's Name;
Never did Steeple carry double truer,
His is the Donative, and mine the Cure.
Then say, my Muse, (and without more Dispute)
Who 'tis that Fame doth super institute.
The Theban Wittal, when he once descrys
Iove is his Rival, falls to Sacrifice.
That Name hath tipp'd his Horns; see on his Knees
A Health to Hans in [...]elder Hercules:
Nay Sublunary [...] are content
To entertain their [...] with Complement;
And shall not he be proud whom Randolph daigns
To quarter with his Muse, both Arms and Brains?
Gramercie Gossip; I rejoyce to see
Th'hast got a Leap of such a Barbary.
Talk not of Horns, Horns are the Poet's Crest;
For since the Muses left their former Nest,
To found a Nunnery in Randolph's Quill,
Cuckold Parnassus is a Forked Hill.
But stay, I've wak'd his Dust, his Marble stirs,
And brings the Worms for his Compurgators.
Can Ghost have natural Sons? Say Og, is't meet
Penance bear Date after the Winding-sheet?
Were it a Phaenix (as the double kind
May seem to prove, being there's two combin'd,)
[Page 23] I would disclaim my Right, and that it were
The Lawful Issue of his Ashes swear.
But was he dead? Did not his Soul translate
Her self into a Shop of lesser rate;
Or break up House, like an expensive Lord,
That gives his Purse a Sob, and lives at Board?
Let old Pythagoras but play the Pimp,
And still there's hopes't may prove his Bastard Imp.
But I'm prophane; for grant the World had one
With whom he might contract an Union;
They two were one, yet like an Eagle spread,
I'th'Body joyn'd, but parted in the Head.
For you, my Brat, that pose the Porph'ry Chair,
Pope Iohn, or Ioan, or whatsoe'er you are,
You are a Nephew, grieve not at your State;
For all the World is Illegitimate.
Man cannot get a Man, unless the Sun
Club to the Act of Generation.
The Sun and Man get Man, thus Tom and I
Are the joynt Fathers of my Poetry;
For since, blest Shade, thy Verse is Male, but mine
O'th' weaker Sex, a Phancy Feminine;
We'll part the Child, and yet commit no Slaughter,
So shall it be thy Son, and yet my Daughter.

SECT. II. Containing POEMS which re­late to STATE-AFFAIRS.

Upon The King's Return from Scotland.

REturn'd! I'l ne'er believ't; first prove him hence,
Kings travel by their Beams and Influence.
Who says the Soul gives out her Guests, or goes
A flitting Progress 'twixt the Head and Toes?
She rules by Omnipresence; and shall we
Deny a Prince the same Ubiquity?
Or grant he went, and cause the knot was slack
Girt both the Nations with his Zodiack;
Yet as the Tree at once both upward shoots,
And just as much grows downward to the Roots;
So at the same time that he posted thither,
By Counter-Stages he rebounded hither.
Hither, and hence at once; thus every Sphere
Doth by a double motion interfere;
And when his Native form inclines him East,
By the first Mover he is ravish'd West.
Have you not seen how the divided Dam
Runs to the Summons of her hungry Lamb;
[Page 25] But when the Twin crys halves, she quits the first,
Nature's Commendam must be likewise nurst?
So were his Journeys like the Spider spun
Out of his Bowels of Compassion.
Two Realms, like Cacus, so his steps transpose,
His feet still contradict him as he goes.
England's return'd, that was a banish'd Soil;
The Bullet flying makes the Gun recoil.
Death's but a Separation, though indors'd
With Spade and Javelin, we were thus divorc'd.
Our Soul hath taken wing, while we express
The Corps returning to their Principles.
But the Crab-Tropick must not now prevail,
Islands go back, but when you're under Sail:
So his Retreat hath rectified that wrong;
Backward is forward in the Hebrew Tongue.
Now the Church Militant in plenty rests,
Nor fears, like th' Amazon, to lose her Breasts.
Her means are safe, not squeez'd, until the Blood
Mix with the Milk, and choak the tender Brood.
She that hath been the floating Ark, is that
She, that's now seated on Mount Ararat.
Quits Charles; our Souls did guard him Northward thus,
Now he the Counterpart comes South to us.

A Dialogue between two Zealots upon the &c. in the Oath.

SIr Roger from a zealous peice of Freeze,
Rais'd to a Vicaridge of the Children's Threes,
Whose yearly Audit may by strict Account
To twenty Nobles, and his Vails amount;
Fed on the Common of the female Charity,
Until the Scots can bring about their Parity;
[Page 26] So shotten, that his Soul, like to himself,
Walks but in Cuerpo. This same Clergy-Elf
Encountring with a Brother of the Cloth,
Fell presently to Cudgels with the Oath.
The Quarrel was a strange mishapen Monster
Et caetera, (God bless us!) which may conster
The Brand upon the Buttock of the Beast,
The Dragon's Tail tyed on a Knot; a Nest
Of young Apocryphas, the fashion.
Of a new mental Reservation.
Whilst Roger thus divides the Text, the other
Winks and expounds, saying, my pious Brother,
Hearken with Reverence; for the point is nice,
I never read on't, but I fasted twice:
And so by Revelation know it better,
Than all the learn'd Idolaters o'th'Letter.
With that he swell'd, and fell upon the Theme,
Like Great Goliah, with his Weaver's Beam.
I say to thee, Et caetera, thou ly'st,
Thou art the curled Lock of Antichrist;
Rubbish of Babel; for who will not say
Tongues are confounded in Et caetera?
Who swears Et caetera, swears more Oaths at once
Than Cerberus out of his triple Sconce.
Who views it well, with the same eye beholds
The old false Serpent in his numerous folds.
Accurst Et caetera! Now, now I scent
What the prodigious bloody Oysters meant.
O Booker! Booker! How came'st thou to lack
This Fiend in thy Prophetick Almanack?
It's the dark Vault wherein th'Infernal Plot
Of Powder'gainst the State was first begot.
Peruse the Oath, and you shall soon descry it
By all the Father Garnets that stand by it;
[Page 27] 'Gainst whom the Church (whereof I am a Member)
Shall keep another Fifth day of November.
Yet here's not all, I cannot half untruss
Et caetera, it's so abdominous.
The Trojan Nag was not so fully lin'd.
Unrip Et caetera, and you shall find
Og the great Commissary, and (which his worse)
Th'Apparitor upon his skew bald Horse.
Then finally, my Babes of Grace, forbear,
Et caetera will be too far to swear:
For 'tis (to speak in a familiar Stile)
A York-shire Wea-bit longer than a Mile.
Here Roger was inspir'd, and by God's diggers
He'll swear in words at length, but not in Figures.
No by this Drink which he takes off; as loath
To leave Et caetera in his liquid Oath:
His Brother pledgd him, and that bloody Wine
He swears shall seal the Synod's Catiline.
So they drank on, not offering to part,
'Till they had sworn out the eleventh Quart:
While all that saw, and heard them joyntly pray,
They and their Tribe were all Et caetera.

Smectymnuus, or the Club-Divines.

SMectymnuus! The Goblin makes me start;
I'th' name of Rabbi Abraham, what art?
Syriack? or Arabick? or Welsh? What skil't?
Ape all the Bricklayers that Babel built.
Some Conjurer translate, and let me know it?
Till then 'tis fit for a West Saxon Poet.
But do the Brotherhood then play their Prizes,
Like Mummers in Religion, with Disguises?
[Page 28] Out-brave us with a Name in Rank and File?
A name, which if twere train'd would spread a Mile.
The Saints Monopoly, the Zealous Cluster,
Which like a Porcupine presents a Muster,
And shoots his Quills at Bishops and their Sees,
A devout Litter of young Macchabees.
Thus Iack of all Trades hath distinctly shown
The twelve Apostles in a Cherry-stone.
Thus Factions A-la-mode in Treason's Fashion,
Now we have Heresie by Complication.
Like to Don Quixot's Rosary of Slaves
Strung on a Chain, a Murnival of Knaves
Pack'd in a Trick; like Gipsies when they ride,
Or like the College which sit all of a side:
So the vain Satyrists stand all a row,
As hollow Teeth upon a Lute-string show.
Th' Italian Monster pregnant with his Brother,
Nature's Diaerefis, half one another;
He with his little Sidesman Lazarus
Must both give way unto Smectymnuus.
Next Sturbridge Fair is Smec's; for lo his side
Into a five-fold Lazar multiply'd.
Under each. Arm there's tuck'd a double Gizzard,
Five Faces lurk under one single Vizard.
The Whore of Babylon left these Brats behind,
Heirs of Confusion by Gavelkind.
I think Pythagoras's Soul is rambled hither,
With all her change of Raiment on together.
Smec is her general Wardrobe; she'll not dare
To think of him as of a thorough-fare.
He stops the Goshipping Dame; alone he is
The Purlew of a Metempsycosis:
Like a Scotch Mark, where the more modest sence,
Checks the loud Phrase and shrinks to thirteen pence:
[Page 29] Like to an Ignis Fatuus, whose flame,
Though sometimes tripartite, joyns in the same.
Like to nine Taylors, who (if rightly spell'd)
Into one Man are Monosyllabl'd.
Short-handed Zeal in one hath cramped many,
Like to the Decalogue in a single Penny.
See, see how close the Curs hunt under a sheet,
As if they spent in Quire, and scan'd their feet.
One Cure, and five incumbents leap a Truss,
The Title sure must be Litigious.
The Sadduces would raise a Question,
Who shall be Smec at th' Resurrection.
Who coop'd them up together were to blame;
Had they but wire-drawn and spun out the name,
'Twould make another Prentices Petition
Against the Bishops and their Superstition.
Robson and French (that count from five to five
As far as Nature fingers did contrive.
She saw they would be Sessers, that's the cause
She cleft their Hoof into so many Claws)
May tire their Carret-Bunch; yet ne'er agree
To rate Smectymnuus for Polemoney.
Caligula (whose Pride was Mankind's Bail,
As who disdain'd to murder by Retail,
Wishing the World had but one general Neck)
His glutton Blade might have found Game in Smec.
No Eccho can improve the Author more,
Whose Lungs pay use and use to half a score.
No Felon is more letter'd, though the Brand
Both superscribes his Shoulder and his Hand.
Some Welshman was his Godfather, for he
Wears in his Name his Genealogy.
The Banes are ask'd, would but the times give way,
Betwixt Smectymnuus and Et caetera:
[Page 30] The Guests, invited by a friendly Summons,
Should be the Convocation and the Commons:
The Priest to tye the Foxes tails together,
Mosely, or Sancta Clara, choose you whether.
See what an Off spring every one expects;
What strange Plurality of Men and Sects?
One says he'll get a Vestry, but another
Is for a Synod; Bets upon the Mother.
Faith cry St. George! Let them go to't and stickle,
Whether a Conclave, or a Conventicle.
Thus might Religions Catterwawl and spight
Which uses to Divorce, might once unite:
But their cross Fortunes interdict their Trade,
The Groom is Rampant, but the Bride is spade.
My Task is done, all my he-Goats are milk'd;
So many Cards i'th' Stock, and yet be bilk'd?
I could by Letters now untwist the Rabble,
Whip Smec from Constable to Constable.
But there I leave you to another's dressing;
Only kneel down and take your Father's Blessing;
May the Queen Mother justifie your fears,
And stretch her Patent to your Leather ears.

The Hue and Cry after Sir John Presbyter.

WIth Hair in Character, and Lugs in Text,
With a splay mouth, and a nose circumflext;
With a set Ruff of Musket-bore, that wears
Like Cartrages, or Linnen Bandileers
Exhausted of their Sulphurous Contents
In Pulpit Fire-works, which the Bombal vents;
The Negative and Covenanting Oath,
Like two Mustachoes issuing from his Mouth.
[Page 31] The Bush upon his Chin like a carv'd Story
In a Box-knot, cut by the Directory;
Madam's Confession hanging at his ear
Wire-drawn through all the Questions, How and Where;
Each Circumstance so in the hearing felt,
That when his ears are cropp'd he'll count them gelt.
The Weeping Cassock scor'd into a Jump,
A sign the Presbyter's worn to the stump;
The Presbyter, though charm'd against Mischance
With the Divine Right of an Ordinance;
If you meet any that do thus attire'em,
Stop them they are the Tribe of Adoniram.
What zealous Phrenzy did the Senate seize,
That tare the Rotchet to such rags as these?
Episcopacy min [...]'d; Reforming Tweed
Hath sent us Runts, even of her Churches breed.
Lay interlining Clergy, a Device
That's Nickname to the Stuff call'd Lops and Lice.
The Beast at wrong end branded, you may trace
The Devil's footsteps in his cloven face.
A face of several Parishes and sorts,
Like to Serjeant shav'd at Inns of Courts.
What mean the Elders else, those Kirk Dragoons,
Made up of Ears and Ruffs like Ducatoons.
That Hierarchy of Handicrafts begun;
Those New-Exchange-men of Religion.
Sure they'r the Antick heads which plac'd without
The Church, do gape and disembogue a Spout:
Like them about the Common's House t'have been
So long without, now both are gotten in.
Then what imperious in the Bishop sounds,
The same the Scotch Executor rebounds:
This stating Prelacy the Classick Rout
That speak it often, e'er it spake it out.
[Page 32] So by an Abbey's Skeleton of late
I heard an Eccho supererogate
Through Imperfection, and the Voice restore,
As if she had the Hiccop o'er and o'er.
Since they our mixt Diocesans combine,
Thus to ride double in their Discipline,
That Paul's shall to the Consistory call
A Dean and Chapter out of Weaver's Hall,
Each at the Ordinance for to assist
With the five Thumbs of his groat-changing Fist.
Down Dagon-Synod with thy Motley Ware,
Whilst we are Champions for the Common Prayer,
(That Dove-like Embassy that wings our Sense
To Heavens Gate in shape of Innocence)
Pray for the Mitred Authors, and defie
Those Demicastors of Divinity.
For when Sir Iohn with Iack of all Trades joyns,
His Finger's thicker than the Prelate's Loyns.

The Mixt Assembly.

FLea-bitten Synod, an Assembly brew'd
Of Clerks and Elders ana, like the rude
Chaos of Presbyt'ry, where Lay-men guide
With the tame Wool-pack Clergy by their side.
Who ask'd the Banes 'twixt these discolour'd Mates?
A strange Grotesco this; the Church and States,
Most Divine Tick-Tack in a Pye-bald Crew
To serve as Table-men of divers Hue.
She that conceiv'd an Aethiopian Heir
By Picture, when the Parents both were fair,
At sight of you had born a dapled Son,
You chequering her Imagination.
[Page 33] Had Iacob's Flock but seen you sit, the Dams
Had brought forth speckled and ring streaked Lambs:
Like an Impropriator's Motley kind,
Whose Scarlet Coat is with a Cassock lin'd:
Like the Lay-Thief in a Canonick Weed,
Sure of his Clergy e'er he did the Deed.
Like Royston Crows, who are (as I may say)
Fryars of both the Orders, Black and Gray.
So mixt they are one knows not whether's thicker,
A Layre of Burgess, of a Layre of Vicar.
Have they usurp'd what Royal Iudah had,
And now must Levi too part stakes with Gad?
The Scepter and the Crosier are the Crutches,
Which if not trusted in their pious Clutches
Will fail the Cripple State. And wer't not pity
That both should serve the Yardwand of the City?
That Isaac might go stroke his Beard, and sit
Judge of [...] and Elegerit.
O that they were in Chalk and Charcoal drawn!
The Miscellany-Satyr and the Fawn,
And all th' Adulteries of twisted Nature
But faintly represent this ridling Feature,
Whose Members, being not Tallies, they'll not own
Their Fellows at the Resurrection.
Strange Scarlet Doctors these; they'll pass in Story
For Sinners half refin'd in Purgatory;
Or parboyl'd Lobsters, where there joyntly rules
The fading Sables, and the coming Gules.
The Flea that Falstaff damn'd thus lewdly shows
Tormented in the Flames of Bardolph's Nose;
Like him that wore the Dialogue of Clokes,
This Shoulder Iohn-a-Stiles, that Iohn-a-Nokes.
Like Jews and Christians in a Ship together,
With an old Neck-Verse to distinguish either.
[Page 34] Like their intended Discipline to boot,
Or whatsoe'er hath neither Head nor Foot:
Such may these strip'd Stuff-hangings seem to be,
Sacrilege match'd with Codpiece Simony.
Be sick and dream a little, you may then
Phancy these Linsey-Woolsey Vestry-men.
Forbear good Pembroke, be not over-daring,
Such Company may chance to spoyl thy Swearing;
And thy Drum-Major Oaths (of bulk unruly)
May dwindle to a feeble, By my truly;
He that the Noble Percie's Blood inherits,
Will he strike up a Hot-Spur of the Spirits?
He'll fright the Obadiah's out of tune
With his uncircumcised Algernoon;
A Name so stubborn, 'tis not to be scan'd
By him in Gath with the six finger'd Hand:
See they obey the Magick of my Words,
Presto; they'r gone: and now the House of Lords
Looks like the wither'd Face of an old Hag,
But with three Teeth like to a triple Gag.
A jig a jig, and in this Antick Dance,
Fielding and Doxie Marshal first advance.
Twisse blows the Scotch pipes, and the loveing Brace
Puts on the Traces and treads Cinque-a pace.
Then Say and Seal must his old ham-strings supple,
And he and rumpled Palmer make a Couple.
Palmer's a fruitful Girl, if he'l unfold her,
The Midwife may find work about her Shoulder.
Kimbolton, that Rebellious Boanerges
Must be content to saddle Doctor Burges.
If Burges get a Clap, 'tis ne'er the worse,
But the fifth time of his Compurgators.
Nol Bowls is coy, good sadness cannot dance,
But in obedience to the Ordinance.
[Page 35] Here Wharton wheels about, till Mumping Lidie
Like the full Moon hath made his Lordship giddy.
Pym and the Members must their Giblets levy
T'encounter Madam Smec, that single Bevy:
If they two truck together, 'twill not be
A Child-birth, but a Goal-delivery.
Thus every Gibelline hath got his Guelf;
But Selden he's a Galliard by himself;
And well may be; there's more Divines in him,
Than in all this their Iewish Sanhedrim;
Whose Canons in the Forge shall then bare date,
When Mules their Cosin Germans generate.
Thus Moses Law is violated now,
The Ox and Ass go yoak'd in the same Plough.
Resign thy Coach-box Twisse, Brook's Preacher, he
Would sort the Beasts with more Conformity.
Water and Earth make but one Globe, a Roundhead
Is Clergy-Lay, Party-per-pale compounded.

Rebellis Scotus.

CUrae Deo sumus, ista si cedant Scoto?
Variata spleniis Domina Psyche est suis,
Aut Stellionatûs rea. [...]
Campanulae omnes; totus Ucalegon fio;
Coriaceae cui millies mille hydriae
Suburbicanis pensiles Paraeciis
Non fint refrigerio. Poeticus furor
Cometa non minus, vel ore flammeo
Commune dispuente fatum Stellulâ,
Dirum ominatur. Ecquis è Stoâ suam
Iam temperet bilem, patria quando lue
Tam Pymmianâ, id est pediculosâ, perit,
Bombimachidisque fit bolus myrmeciis?
Scotos nec ausim nominare, carminum
Nisi inter amuleta, nec meditarier
Nisi cerebello, quod capillitio rubens
(Quale autumo coluberrimum Furiis caput)
Quot inde verba, tot venena prompserit.
Rhadamantheum fac, guttur esset nunc mihi,
Sulphurque, patibulumque copiosius
Ructans, Magus quam taenias Bombycinias
Poteram, ut Agyrta Circulator, pilulas
Vomicas loqui, aut [...] Styga;
Aut ut Genevae stentores Perilleis
Tartara & equuleos boare Pulpitis,
At machinanti par forem nunquam Scoto
Cunctis Sclopetis hisce gutturalibus.
Ut digna Dii duint, vorem par est prius,
Praestigator ut sicas & acinaces.
[Page 38] Huc, huc, Iambe, gressibus faxo tuis,
At huc, Iambe morsibus faxo magis,
Satyraeque tortrices tot huc adducite
Flagella, quot praesens meretur seculum.
Scoti Veneficis pares; audax stylum
Horum cruore tinge, sic nocent minus;
Ut Martyres olim induebant belluis
(Quasi sisterent Rogis Sacros hypocritas)
En hos eodem Schemate, aut retro, Scotos,
Extra Scotos, intus Feras, & sine tropo.
Fallax Jerna viperae nihil foves
Scoto Colono? Non ego Britanniam
Lupis carentem dixerim, vivo Scoto.
Quin Thamesinus Pyrgopolinices Scotus
Poterat Leones, Tigrides, Ursos, Canes
Proprii Inquilinos pectoris spectaculo
Monstrasse, pro obolis omnibus quibus solet
Spectare Monstra Cratis; & Fori simul
Pene ocreatum vulgus. Et patria Feras
Sco [...]os, eremum indicat terrae plaga.
Vel omnipraesentem negans Deum, nisi
Venisset inde Carolus, cohors nisi
Crafordiana, miles & Montrosseus,
Feritatis eluens notam paganicae,
Hanc praestitisset semivictimam Deo.
Nec Scoticus est totus Leopardus, Leo,
Habent & Aram, sicut Arcam foederis,
Velut Tabellae bifidis pictae-plicis
Fert Angelos pars haec, & haec Cacodaemonas.
Cui somniante Tartarum suasit pavor
Sic poenitere, viderat regnum velim
Nigrius Scotorum semel, & esset innocens.
Regio malignâ quae facit votum prece,
Relegetur ad Gyaros breves nunquam Incola!
[Page 40] Punisset ubi Cainum nec exilio Deus,
Sed, ut ille trechedipnum, magis domicoenio.
Ut Gens vagans recutita, vel Contagium,
Aut Beelzebub, si des Ubiquitarium.
Hinc erro fit semper Scotus, certos locos,
Et hos, & illos quoslibet cito nauseans.
Ut frusta divisi Orbis & Topographicae
Mendicitatis offulas, curtas nimis.
Ipse Universitatis haeres integrae,
Et totus in toto, Natio Epidemica.
Nec gliscet ergo jargonare Gallicè,
Exoticis aut indicis modis, neque
Iberio nutunegare, nec studet
Callere quem de Belgicis Hoghen Moghen
Venter tumens, aut barba Canthari refert
(Quae coriatis una mens Nostratibus)
Pugna est in animo, atque in patinâ Scoto;
Huic Struthioni suggeret cybum Chalybs
Et denti-ductor appetitus baltheo,
Pro more pendulos molares inserit.
At interim nostras quid involant dapes?
Serpens Edenum, non Edenburgum appetit,
Aut Angliae, cui jam malum est Haemorrhois,
Haematopotas hos posteris meatibus
Natura medica supposuit hirudines,
Cruore satiendas licet nostro prius,
Nostro, sed & cruore moribundas quoque.
N [...] computo credant priori, nos item
Novum addituros, servitutem pristinae
Aliam, gemellam nuperae, fraterculos
Palpare, quando caeperant (charos-nimis)
Suffragiorum scilicet Poppysmata,
Et crustulam impertire, velut offam Cerbero
Subblandiens decreverat Senatulus.
[Page 42] Not [...]ra [...]lis? arma visceribus prius
Inde [...], usque & usque, vel capulo tenus.
Seri videmus quo Scotum tractes modo.
Princeps Rebelli mitior tergo, quasi
Sellas equino detrahens, aptat suo.
At jus rapinas has defendit vetus?
Egyptus istaperdit, aufert Israel.
An Bibliorum nescis hos Satellites
Praeto lanis queis Cohortibus (novae
Hierusalem triariis) Spes nititur
Sororcularum? Cardo, Cardo vertitur
Cupediarum, primitiva Legis?
O bone Deus! quanti est carere linteis!
Orexis ut Borealis & fames movet!
Victuque, Vestibusque cassi, hinc Knoxio
Sutore simul & Knoxio utuntur Coquo,
Piè quod algeant, quod esuriant pie.
Larvas quin usque detrahas, & nummulis
Titulisque, ut animabus, sub est fallacia.
Librae & Barones (detumescant interim
Vocabulorum sympana) quanti valent!
Hic Cantianum pene, pene villicum,
Solidosque totos illa, sed gratis, duos.
Apage superbae fraudulentiae simul
Prosapia pictos, fide & pictos, procul:
Opprobrium Poetico vel stigmati,
Etiam cruci Crux; non aliter, Hyperbolus
Hyper scelesius Ostracismo fit pudor.
Americanus ille qui coelum horrnit,
Quod Hispanorum repat eò sed pars quota!
Viderat in Oreo si Scotos (hui tot Scotos!)
Roterodamus pependerat medioximus.
Sat Musa! semissa fercularia
Medullitus vorans, Diabolis invides
[Page 44] Propriam sibi suam Scoti, paropsidem
Ut Bernielis enim Scoti; sic Luciser
Saturatur ipsis Berniclatioribus.
Nam lapsus a furcâ Scotus, mox & styge
Tinctus, suum novatur in Plant-Anserem.

The Rebel Scot.

HOw! Providence! and yet a Scottish Crew!
Then Madam Nature wears black Patches too,
What shall our Nation be in bondage thus
Unto a Land that truckles under us?
Ring the Bells backward; I am all on fire,
Not all the Buckets in a Country-Quire
Shall quench my rage. A Poet should be fear'd
When angry, like a Comet's flaming Beard.
And where's the Stoick can his wrath appease
To see his Country sick of Pym's disease;
By Scotch Invasion to be made a prey
To such Pig-Widgin Myrmidons as they?
But that there's Charm in Verse, I would not quote
The Name of Scot without an Antidote;
Unless my head were red, that I might brew
Invention there that might be Poyson too.
Were I a drowzy Judge, whose dismal Note
Disgorgeth Halters, as a Jugler's Throat
Doth Ribbands? Could I in Sir Empericks tone
Speak Pills in phrase and quack destruction,
Or roar like Marshal that Geneva Bull,
Hell and Damnation a Pulpit full:
Yet to express a Scot, to play that prize,
Not all those Mouth-Granados can suffice.
Before a Scot can properly be curst,
I must like Hocus, swallow Daggers first,
[Page 39] Come, keen Iambicks, with your Badgers feet,
And Badger-like bite till your Teeth do meet:
Help ye tart Satyrists to imp my rage
With all the Scorpions that should whip this Age.
Scots are like Witches; do but whet your Pen.
Scratch till the blood come, they'l not hurt you then.
Now as the Martyrs were enforc'd to take
The shapes of Beasts, like Hypocrites at Stake
I'll bait my Scot so, yet not cheat your eyes;
A Scot, within a Beast, is no Disguise.
No more let Ireland brag, her harmless Nation
Fosters no Venom since that Scot's Plantation:
Nor can our feign'd Antiquity obtain;
Since they came in, England hath Wolves again.
The Scot that kept the Tower might have shown
Within the Grate of his own Breast alone,
The Leopard and the Panther, and ingross'd
What all those wild Collegiats had cost.
The honest High-shoes in their termly Fees,
First to the Salvage Lawyer, next to these.
Nature her self doth Scotchmen Beasts confess,
Making their Country such a Wilderness;
A Land that brings in question and suspence
God's Omnipresence, but that Charles came thence;
But that Montross and Crawford's Royal Band
Atton'd their Sin, and Christned half their Land.
Nor is it all the Nation hath these Spots,
There is a Church as well as Kirk of Scots.
As in a Picture where the squinting paint
Shews Fiend on this side, and on that side Saint.
He that saw Hell in's melancholy Dream,
And in the Twy-light of his Phancie's Theme
Scar'd from his Sins, repented in a fright,
Had he view'd Scotland had turn'd Proselite.
[Page 41] A Land where one may pray with curst intent,
O may they never suffer Banishment!
Had Cain been Scot, God would have chang'd his Doom,
Not forc'd him wander but confin'd him home;
Like Iews they spread, and as Infection fly,
As if the Devil had Ubiquity.
Hence 'tis they live at Rovers and defie
This, or that place, Rags of Geography.
They'r Citizens o'th'World, they'r all in all,
Scotland's a Nation Epidemical.
And yet they ramble not to learn the Mode,
How to be drest, or how to lisp abroad;
To return knowing in the Spanish Shrug,
Or which of the Dutch States a double Jug
Resembles most in Belly, or in Beard,
(The Card by which the Mariners are steer'd)
No, the Scots Errant fight, and fight to eat,
Their Ostrich Stomachs make their Swords their Meat.
Nature with Scots as Tooth-drawers hath dealt,
Who use to string their Teeth upon their Belt.
Yet wonder not at this their happy choice,
The Serpent's fatal still to Paradise.
Sure England hath the Hemorrhoids, and these
On the North-postern of the Patient seize,
Like Leeches; thus they Physically thirst
After our Blood, but in the Cure shall burst.
Let them not think to make us run o'th'score
To purchase Villenage, as once before
When an Act past to stroak them on the Head:
Call them good Subjects, buy them Ginger-bread.
[Page 43] Not Gold, nor Acts of Grace, 'tis Steel must tame
The stubborn Scot, a Prince that would reclaim
Rebels by yielding, doth like him, or worse,
Who sadled his own back to shame his Horse.
Was it for this you left your leaner Soil,
Thus to lard Israel with Egypt's Spoyl.
They are the Gospel's Life-guard; but for them
(The Garrison of New Ierusalem)
What would the Brethren do? The Cause! The Cause!
Sack-Possets, and the Fundamental Laws?
Lord! what a godly thing is want of Shirts!
How a Scotch Stomach and no Meat converts!
They wanted Food and Rayment; so they took
Religion for their Seamstress, and their Cook.
Unmask them well, their Honours and Estate,
As well as Conscience, are sophisticate.
Shrive but their Title and their Moneys poize,
A Laird and twenty pence pronounc'd with noise,
When constru'd but for a plain Yeoman go,
And a good sober two pence, and well so.
Hence then you proud Impostors, get you gone,
You Picts in Gentry and Devotion.
You Scandal to the Stock of Verse, a Race
Able to bring the Gibbet in disgrace.
Hyperbolus by suffering did traduce
The Ostracism, and sham'd it out of use.
The Indian that Heaven did forswear,
Because he heard some Spaniards were there;
Had he but known what Scots in Hell had been,
He would Erasmus-like have hung between.
My Muse hath done. A Voyder for the nonce,
I wrong the Devil should I pick their Bones;
[Page 45] That dish is his; for when the Scots decease
Hell like their Nation, feeds on Bernacles.
A Scot when from the Gallow-tree got loose
Drops into Siyx, and turns a Sola [...]d Goose.

The King's Disguise.

ANd why so coffin'd in this vile Disguise,
That who but sees blasphemes thee with his eyes?
My Twins of Light within their Penthouse shrink,
And hold it their Allegiance to wink.
O for a State-Distinction to Arraign
Charles of High-Treason 'gainst my Soveraign?
What an Usurper to his Prince is wont,
Cloyster and shave him, he himself hath don't.
His muffled Feature speaks him a Recluse,
His Ruins prove him a Religious House.
The Sun hath mew'd his Beams from off his Lamp,
And Majesty defac'd the Royal Stamp.
Is't not enough thy Dignitie's in thrall,
But thou'lt transcribe it in thy shape and all?
As if thy Blacks were of too faint a die
Without the Tincture of Tautology.
Flay an Egyptian for his Cassock-skin
Spun of his Countrie's darkness, lin't within
With Presbyterian badge, that drowzy Trance
The Synod's sable, foggy Ignorance.
Nor bodily, nor ghostly Negro could
Rough-cast thy Figure in a sadder mold.
This Privy-Chamber of thy Garb would be
But the Close-Mourner to thy Royalty.
Then break the Circle of thy Taylor's Spell.
A Pearl within a rugged Oyster's Shell.
Heaven, which the Minister of thy Person owns,
Will fine thee for Dilapidations.
Like to a martyr'd Abbey's courser doom,
Devoutly alter'd to a Pigeon-room;
[Page 47] Or like a College by the Changeling Rabble,
Manchester's Elves, transform'd into a Stable.
Or if there be a Prophanation higher,
Such is the Sacrilege of thine Attire;
By which th'art half depos'd, thou look'st like one
Whose Looks are under Sequestration:
Whose Renegado-form at the first glance,
Shews like the Self-denying Ordinance.
Angel of Light and Darkness too (I doubt)
Inspir'd within, and yet possess'd without:
Majestick Twy-light in the state of Grace,
Yet with an excommunicated Face.
Charles and his Mask are of a different Mint,
A Psalm of Mercy in a miscreant Print.
The Sun wears Midnight; Day is beetle-brow'd,
And Lightning is in Kelder of a Cloud.
O the accurst Stenography of State!
The Princely Eagle shrunk into a Bat.
What Charm? what Magick Vapour can it be
That checks his Rays to this Apostasie?
It is no subtil film of Tiffany-air,
No Cobweb-Vizard (such as Ladies wear;
When they are vail'd on purpose to be seen,
Doubling their Lustre by their vanquish'd skreen.)
No, the false Scabbard of a Prince is tough,
And three pil'd darkness, like the smoaky slough
Of an imprison'd flame; 'tis Faux in grain,
Dark Lanthorn to our bright Meridian:
Hell belch'd the Damp, the Warwick Castle Vote
Rang Brittain's Curfeu, so our Light went out.
A black Offender should he wear his Sin.
For Penance, could not have a darker Skin.
His Visage is not legible; the Letters
Like a Lord's Name writ in Phantastick Fetters.
[Page 48] Clothes where a Switzer might be buried quick;
Sure they would fit the Body Politick.
False Beard enough to thatch a Poet's Plot,
(For that's the Ambush of their Wit, God wot;)
Nay all his Properties so plain appear,
Y'are not i'th' Presence, though the King be there.
A Libel is his dress, a Garb uncouth,
Such as the Hue and Cry once purg'd at Mouth.
Scribling Assassinate! Thy Lines attest
An ear-mark due, Cub of the Blatant Beast:
Whose Breath before 'tis syllabled for worse
Is Blasphemy unfledg'd, a callow Curse:
The Laplanders when they would sell a wind
Wasting to Hell, bag up thy Phrase and bind
It to the Bark, which at the Voyage end
Shifts Poop, and breeds the Collick in the Fiend.
But i'll not dub thee with a glorious Scar,
Nor sink thy Sculler with a Man of War.
The black-mouth'd Siquis, and this slandering suit
Both do alike in Picture execute.
But since w'are all call'd Papists: why not date
Devotion to the Rags thus Consecrate?
As Temples use to have their Porches wrought
With Sphynxes, Creatures of an Antick draught,
And purling Portraitures, to shew that there
Riddles inhabited; the like is here.
But pardon Sir, since I presume to be
Clerk of this Closet to your Majesty;
Methinks in this your dark mysterious Dress
I see the Gospel couch'd in Parables.
The second view my purblind Fancy wipes,
And shews Religion in its dusky Types;
Such a Text Royal, so obscure a shade,
Was Solomon in Proverbs all array'd.
[Page 49] Come all the Brats of this expounding Age,
To whom the Spirit is in Pupilage:
You that damn more than ever Sampson slew,
And with his Engine the same Jaw-bone too.
How is't he scapes your Inquisition free,
Since bound up in the Bible's Livery?
Hence Cabinet-Intruders, Pick-Locks hence,
You that dim Jewels with your Bristol-sence;
And Characters, like Witches, so torment,
Till they coufess a Guilt, though Innocent.
Keys for this Cypher you can never get,
None but Saint Peter's ope'this Cabinet;
This Cabinet, whose Aspect would benight
Critick Spectators with redundant light.
A Prince most seen is least. What Scriptures call
The Revelation, is most mystical.
Mount then thou Shadow Royal, and with haste
Advance thy Morning-Star, Charles overcast.
May thy strange Journey contradictions twist,
And force fair Weather from a Scottish Mist.
Heavens Confessors are pos'd; those Star-ey'd Sages
T'interpret an Eclipse thus riding Stages.
Thus Israel-like he travels with a Cloud,
Both as a Conduct to him and a Shroud.
But O! He goes to Gibeon, and renews
A League with mouldy bread and clouted shoes!

Rupertismus.

O That I could but vote my self a Poet,
Or had the Legislative knack to do it!
Or like the Doctors Militant could get
Dubb'd at adventure Verser Banneret.
[Page 50] Or had I Cacus trick to make my Rhimes
Their own Antipodes, and track the times:
Faces about says the Remonstrant Spirit,
Allegiance is Malignant, Treason Merit.
Huttington-Colt that pos'd the Sage Recorder
Might be a Sturgeon now and pass by Order.
Had I but Elsing's Gift (that splay-mouth'd Brother)
That declares one way, and yet means another:
Could I thus write a-squint, then Sir long since
You had been sung a Great and Glorious Prince.
I had observ'd the Language of these days,
Blasphem'd you, and then periwig'd the Phrase
With humble Service, and such other Fustian,
Bells which ring backward in this great Combustion,
I had revil'd you, and without offence
The Literal and th'equitable Sense,
Would make it good. When all fails this will do't,
Sure that Distinction cleft the Devil's foot.
This weremy Dialect, would your Highness please
To read me but with Hebrew Spectacles;
Interpret counter what is cross rehears'd;
Libels are Commendations when revers'd.
Just as an Optick Glass contracts the Sight
At one end, but when turn'd doth multiply't.
But you're inchant'd, Sir you're doubly free
From the great Guns and Squibbing Poetry;
Whom neither Bilbo, nor Invention pierces,
Proof, even 'gainst th' Artillery of Verses.
Strange! That the Muses cannot wound your Mail,
If not their Art, yet let their Sex prevail.
At that known Leaguer where the Bonny Besses
Supply'd the Bow-strings with their twisted Tresses;
Your Spels could ne'er have fenc'd you, ev'ry Arrow
Had lanc'd your noble Breast and drunk the Marrow:
[Page 51] For Beauty, like white Powder makes no noise,
And yet the silent Hypocrite destroys.
Then use the Nuns of Helicon with pity,
Lest Wharton tell his Gossips of the City,
That you kill Women too, nay Maids, and such
Their General wants Militia to touch.
Impotent Essex! Is it not a shame
Our Commonwealth like to a Turkish Dame,
Should have an Eunuch-Guardian? May she be
Ravish'd by Charles, rather than sav'd by thee.
But why, my Muse, like a Green-sickness Girl,
Feed'st thou on Coals and Dirt? A Gelding Earl
Gives no more relish to thy Female palate,
Than to the Ass did once the Thistle Salat.
Then quit his barren Theme, and all at once
Thou and thy Sisters like bright Amazons,
Give Rupert an Alarum. Rupert! one
Whose name is Wit's Superfoetation;
Makes Fancy, like Eternity's round womb,
Unite all Valour past, present, to come.
He, who the old Philosophy controuls,
That voted down Plurality of Souls.
He breaths a Grand Committee; all that were
The Wonders of their Age constellate here.
[...]nd as the Elder Sisters Growth and Sense
Souls paramount themselves) in Man commence
[...]ut faculties of Reason Queen; no more
[...]re they to him, who was complete before,
[...]gredients of his Virtues. Thread the Beads
[...]f Caesar's Acts, Great Pompey's and the Swedes,
[...]nd 'tis a Bracelet fit for Rupert's hand,
[...]y which that vast Triumvirat is span'd.
[...]ere, here is Palmestry; here you may read
[...]ow long the World shall live, and when't shall bleed.
[Page 52] What every Man winds up that Rupert hath;
For Nature rais'd him on the Publick Faith.
Pandora's Brother, to make up whose store
The Gods were fain to run upon the score.
Such was the Painter's Brief for Venus Face,
Item an Eye from Iane, a Lip from Grace,
Let Isaac and his Cits flay off the Plate,
That tips their Antlets, for their Calf of State.
Let the Zeal-twanging Nose that wants a Ridge,
Snuffling devoutly, drop his silver Bridg;
Yes, and the Gossip's Spoon augment the Sum,
Although poor Caleb lose his Christendom.
Rupert outweighs that in his Sterling self,
Which their Self-want pays in Committee-pelf.
Pardon, Great Sir; for that ignoble Crew
'Gains when made Bankrupt in the Scales with you.
As he who in his Character of Light
Styl'd it God's shadow, made it far more bright
By an Eclipse so glorious (Light is dim,
And a black Nothing when compar'd with him:)
So 'tis Illustrious to be Rupert's foil,
And a just Trophey to be made his spoil.
I'll pin my Faith on the Diurnal's sleeve
Hereafter, and the Guild-Hall Creed believe.
The Conquests which the Common-Council hea [...]
With their wide listning Mouth from the Grea [...] Pee [...]
That run away in Triumph; such a Foe
Can make Men Victors in their Overthrow.
Where Providence and Valour meet in one,
Courage so pois'd with Circumspection,
That he revives the Quarrel once again
Of the Soul's Throne; whether in Heart, or Brain
And leaves it a drawn Match; whose fervor can
Hatch him, whom Nature poach'd but half a Man
[Page 53] His Trumpet, like the Angels at the last,
Makes the Soul rise by a miraculous blast.
Was that Mount Athos carv'd in shape of Man,
As was design'd by th' Macedonian,
Whose right hand should a populous Land contain,
The left should be a Channel to the Main;
His Spirit would inform th' Amphibious Figure,
[...]nd strait-laced sweat for a Dominion bigger.
The terror of whose Name can out of seven,
[...]ike Falstaf's Buckram-men, make fly eleven.
Thus some grow rich by breaking; Vipers thus
[...]y being slain are made more numerous.
[...]o wonder they'l confess no loss of men;
[...]or Rupert knocks 'em till they gig again.
They fear the Giblets of his Train, they fear,
[...]ven his Dog, that four-leg'd Cavalier.
[...]e that devours the Scraps that Lunsford makes,
Whose Picture feeds upon a Child in Stakes;
Who name but Charles he comes aloft for him;
[...]ut holds up his Malignant Leg at Pym:
Gainst whom they have these Articles in Souse,
[...]irst, that he barks against the Sense o'th'House;
[...]esolv'd Delinquent to the Tower straight;
[...]ither to th'Lyons, or the Bishop's Grate.
[...]ext for his ceremonious Wag o'th'Tail;
[...]ut there the Sisterhood will be his Bail;
[...]t least the Countess with Lust's Amsterdam,
[...]hat lets in all Religions of the Game.
[...]hirdly; he smells Intelligence; that's better
[...]nd cheaper too, than Pym's from his own Letter,
Who's doubly paid (Fortune or we the blinder!)
[...]or making Plots, and then for Fox the finder.
[...]astly; he is a Devil without doubt;
[...]or when he would lie down he wheels about;
[Page 54] Makes Circles and is couchant in a Ring,
And therefore score up one for conjuning
What canst thou say, thou Wretch? O quarter! quarter!
I'm but an Instrument, a mere Sir Arth [...]:
If I must hang, O let not our Fates vary,
Whose Office 'tis alike to fetch and carry!
No hopes of a Reprieve; the mutinous stir,
That strung the Jesuit will dispatch the Cur.
Were I a Devil, as the Rabble fears,
I see the House would try me by my Peers.
There Iowler, there! ah Iowler! 'st, 'tis nought,
What e'er the Accusers cry, they'r at default,
And Glyn and Maynard have no more to say,
Than when the glorious Strafford stood at bay.
Thus Libels but amount to him we see
T'enjoy a Copy-hold of Victory.
Saint Peter's shadow heal'd, Rupert's is such
'Twould find Saint Peter work, and wound as much
He gags their Guns, defeats their dire Intent.
The Cannons do but lisp and complement.
Sure Iove descended in a leaden shower
To get this Perseus; hence the fatal power
Of shot is strangled; Bullets thus allied
Fear to commit an Act of Paricide.
Go on brave Prince, and make the World confess,
Thou art the greater World, and that the less.
Scatter th'accumulative King; untruss
That five-fold Fiend the State's Smectymnuus,
Who place Religion in their Vellum-ears,
As in their Phylacters the Iews did theirs.
England's a Paradice, and a modest word,
Since guarded by a Cherub's flaming Sword.
Your Name can scare an Atheist to his Prayers,
And cure the Chin-cough better than the Bears.
[Page 55] Old Sybils charm Tooth-ach with you, the Nurse
Makes you still Children, and the pond'rous Curse
The Clown salutes with is deriv'd from you,
Now Rupert take thee Rogue, how dost thou do?
In fine the Name of Rupert thunders so,
Kimbolton's but a rumbling Wheel-barrow.

Upon Sir Thomas Martin who subscribed a Warrant thus, We the Knights and Gentlemen of the Com­mittee, when there was no Knight but himself.

HAng out a Flag and gather pence a piece.
Which Africk never bred, nor swelling Greece
With Stories Tympany; a Beast so rare,
No Lecturer's wrought Cap, or Barthol'mew Fair
Can match him; Nature's Whimsey that outvies
Tredescant and his Ark of Novelties;
The Gog and Magog of Prodigious Sights:
With reverence to your eyes, Sir Thomas Knights.
But is this Bigamy of Titles due?
Are you Sir Thomas and Sir Martin too?
Issachar couchant 'twixt a brace of Sirs,
Thou Knighthood in a pair of Panniers.
Thou that look'st wrap'd up in thy warlike-Leather,
Like Valentine and Orson bound together.
Spur's Representative, thou that art able
To be a Voyder to King Arthur's Table;
Who in this Sacrilegious Mass of all,
It seems, has swallow'd Windsor's Hospital.
[Page 56] Pair Royal, headed Cerberus his Cousin;
Hercules Labors were a Baker's dozen,
Had he but trump'd on thee, whose forked neck
Might well have answered at the Font for Smec.
But can a Knighthood on a Knighthood ly?
Metal on Metal is false Heraldry.
And yet the known Godfry of Bouloign's Coat
Shines in Exception to the Herald's Vote.
Great Spirits move not by Pedantick Laws,
Their Actions, though Eccentrick, state the Cause.
And Priscian bleeds with honour. Caesar thus
Subscrib'd two Consuls with one Iulius.
Tom never oaded Squire, scarce Yeoman high
Is Tom twice dip'd; Knight of a double die?
Fond man, whose Fate is in his Name betray'd;
It is the setting Sun doubles his shade:
But it's no matter; for amphibious he
May have a Knight hang'd, yet Sir Tom go free.

The General Eclipse.

LAdies that gild the glittering Noon,
And by Reflection mend his Ray,
Whose Beauty makes the sprightly Sun
To dance, as upon Easter-day;
What are you, now the Queen's away?
Courageous Eagles, who have whet
Your Eyes upon Majestick Light,
And thence deriv'd such Martial heat,
That still your Looks maintain the Fight;
What are you, since the King's Good-night?
[Page 57] Cavalier-buds, whom Nature teems,
As a Reserve for England's Throne,
Spirits whose double edge redeems
The last Age, and adorns your own;
What are you, now the Prince is gone?
As an obstructed Fountain's head
Cuts the Intail off from the Streams,
And Brooks are disinherited;
Honour and Beauty are mere Dreams,
Since Charles and Mary lost their Beams.
Criminal Valors! who commit
Your Gallantry, whose Poean brings
A Psalm of Mercy after it;
In this sad Solstice of the King's,
Your Victory hath mew'd her wings.
See how your Souldier wears his Cage
Of Iron, like the Captive Turk,
And as the Guerdon of his Rage!
See how your glimmering Peers do lurk,
Or at the best work Journey-work!
Thus 'tis a General Eclipse,
And the whole World is al-a-mort;
Only the House of Commons trips
The Stage in a Triumphant sort,
Now e'en Iohn Lilburn take 'em for't.

SECT. III. Containing MISCELLANIES.

Upon Princess Elizabeth born the Night before New-Year's Day.

AStrologers say, Venus, the self same Star
Is both our Hesperus and Lucifer;
The Antitype, this Venus makes it true,
She shuts the old Year, and begins the new.
Her Brother with a Star at Noon was born,
She like a Star both of the Eve and Morn.
Count o'er the Stars, fair Queen, in Babes, and vie
With every Year a new Epiphany.

Upon a Miser who made a great Feast, and the next day dyed for Grief.

NOr scapes he so; our Dinner was so good
My liquorish Muse cannot but chew the Cud,
And what delight she took in th'Invitation
Strives to taste o'er again in this Relation.
After a tedious Grace in Hopkin's Rhyme,
Not for Devotion, but to take up time,
March'd the Train'd-Band of Dishes, usher'd there
To shew their Postures, and then as they were:
[Page 59] For he invites no Teeth, perchance the Eye
He will afford, the Lover's Gluttony.
Thus is our Feast a (Muster, not a) Fight,
Our Weapon's not for Service, but for Sight.
But are we Tantaliz'd? Is all this Meat
Cook'd by a Limner for to view, not eat?
Th'Astrologers keep such Houses when they sup
On Joynts of Taurus, or the Heavenly Tup.
What ever Feasts he made are summ'd up here,
His Table vies not standing with his Cheer;
His Churchings, Christnings, in this Meal are all,
And not transcrib'd, but in th'Original.
Christmass is no Feast moveable; fonlo,
The self same Dinner was ten years ago!
'Twill be immortal, if it longer stay,
The Gods will eat it for Ambrosia.
But stay a while; unless my Whineyard fail
Or is inchanted, I'll cut off the Intail.
Saint George for England then! have at the Mutton;
Where the first cut calls me blood-thirsty Glutton.
S [...]out Ajax with his anger-codled Brain
Killing a Sheep thought Agamemnon slain;
The Fiction's now prov'd true, wounding the Rost,
I lamentably Butcher up mine Host.
Such Sympathy is with his Meat, my Weapon
Makes him an Eunuch, when it carves his Capon.
Cut a Goose Leg, and the poor Fool for mone
Turns Cripple too, and after stands on one.
Have you not heard th'abominable sport
A Lancaster Grand-Jury will report?
The Souldier with his Morglay watch'd the Mill,
The Cats they came to feast, when lusty Will
Whips off great Pusses Leg, which (by some Charm)
Proves the next day such an old Woman's Arm.
[Page 60] It's so with him, whose carcass never scapes,
But still we slash him in a thousand shapes.
Our Serving-men (like Spaniels) range to spring
The Fowl which he had cluck'd under his wing.
Should he on Woodcock, or on Widgeon feed
It were Thyestes-like, on his own Breed.
To Pork he pleads a Superstition due,
But we subscribe neither to Scot, nor Iew.
No Liquor stirs; call for a Cup of Wine;
'Tis Blood we drink, we pledge thee Catiline.
Sawces we should have none, had he his wish;
The Oranges i'th Margin of his Dish.
He with such Hu [...]ster's care tells o'er and o'er,
Th' Hesperian Dragon never watch'd them more.
But being eaten now into despair,
(Having nought else to do) he falls to prayer.
Thou that didst once put on the form of Bull,
And turn'd thine Io to a lovely Mull,
Defend my Rump, great Iove, allay my grief,
O spare me this, this Monumental Beef!
But no Amen was said; see see it comes;
Draw Boys, let Trumpets sound, and strike up Drums,
See how his Blood doth with the Gravy swim,
And every Trencher hath a Limb of him.
The Ven'son's now in view, our Hounds spend deeper,
Strange Deer which in the Pasty hath a Keeper,
Stricter than in the Park, making his Guest,
As he had stol't alive, to steal it drest!
The scent was hot, and we pursuing faster
Than Ovid's Pack of Dogs e'er chac'd their Master;
A double prey at once we seize upon,
Acteon, and his Case of Venison.
Thus was he torn alive, to vex him worse,
Death serves him up now as a second Course.
[Page 61] Should we, like Thracians, our dead bodies eat,
He would have liv'd only to save his Meat.
Lastly; we did devour that Corps of His
Throughout all Ovid's Metamorphosis.

On the Memory of Mr. Edward King drown'd in the Irish Seas.

I Like not tears in tune, nor do I prize
His artificial Grief, who scans his eyes.
Mine weep down pious Beads; but why should I
Confine them to the Muses Rosary?
I am no Poet here; my Pen's the Spout;
Where the Rain-water of mine eyes run out
In pity of that Name, whose Fate we see
Thus copyed out in Grief's Hydrography.
The Muses are not Mer-maids, though upon
His Death the Ocean might turn Helicon.
The Sea's too rough for Verse; who rhymes upon't
With Xerxes strives to fetter th'Hellespont.
My Tears will keep no Channel, know no Laws
To guide their streams, but like the waves, their cause
Run with disturbance, till they swallow me
As a Description of his Misery.
But can his spatious Virtue find a Grave
Within the lmpostum'd bubble of a Wave?
Whose Learning if we sound, we must confess
The Sea but shallow, and him bottomless.
Could not the Winds to countermand thy death,
With their whole Card of Lungs redeem thy breath?
Or some new Island in thy rescue peep,
To heave thy Resurrection from the Deep;
That so the World might see thy safety wrought,
With no less wonder than thy self was thought?
[Page 62] The famous S [...]garite (who in his life
Had Nature as familiar as his Wife)
Bequeath'd his Widow to survive with thee
Queen Dowager of all Philosophy.
An ominous Legacy, that did portend
Thy Fate, and Predecessor's second end.
Some have affirm'd that what on Earth we find,
The Sea can parallel for shape and kind.
Books, Arts and Tongues were wanting, but in thee
Neptune hath got an University.
We'll dive no more for Pearls; the hope to see
Thy sacred Reliques of Mortality
Shall welcome Storms, and make the Seaman prize
His Shipwrack▪ now more than his Merchandize.
He shall embrace the Waves, and to thy Tomb,
As to a Royaler Exchange shall come.
What can we now expect? Water and Fire,
Both Elements our ruin do conspire;
And that dissolves us which doth us compound,
One Vatican was burnt, another drown'd.
We of the Gown our Libraries must toss
To understand the greatness of our Loss;
Be Pupils to our Grief, and so much grow
In Learning, as our Sorrows overflow.
When we have fill'd the Rundlets of our Eyes
We'll issue't forth, and vent such Elegies,
As that our Tears shall seem the Irish Seas,
We floating Islands, living Hebrides.

An Elegy upon the Arch-bishop of Canterbury.

I Need no Muse to give my Passion vent,
He brews his Tears that studies to lament.
Verse chymically weeps, that pious rain
Distill'd by Art is but the sweat o'th'Brain.
Who ever sob'd in Numbers! Can a Groan
Be quaver'd out in soft Division?
'Tis true, for common formal Elegies
Not Bushel's Wells can match a Poet's Eyes
In wanton Water-Works; he'll tune his Tears
From a Geneva-Jig up to the Spheres:
But then he mourns at distance, weeps aloof,
Now that the Conduit Head is our own Roof;
Now that the Fate is Publick, (we may call
It Brittain's Vespers, England's Funeral.)
Who hath a Pencil to express the Saint,
But he hath Eyes too washing off the Paint?
There is no Learning but what Tears surround,
Like to Seth's Pillars in the Deluge drown'd.
There is no Church, Religion is grown
So much of late that she's encreast to none.
Like an Hydropick Body full of Rheumes,
First swells into a Bubble, then consumes.
The Law is dead, or cast into a Trance,
And by a Law dough-bak'd an Ordinance.
The Liturgy, whose doom was voted next,
Dy'd as a Comment upon him the Text.
There's nothing lives, Life is, since he is gone,
But a Nocturnal Lucubration.
Thus you have seen Death's Inventory read,
In the Summ total, Canterbury's dead.
[Page 64] A sight would make a Pagan to baptize
Himself a Convert in his bleeding Eyes.
Would thaw the Rabble, that fierce Beast of ours,
That which Hyena-like weeps and devours
Tears that flow brackish from their Souls within,
Not to repent, but pickle up their Sin.
Mean time no squalid Grief his Look defiles,
He guilds his sadder Fate with nobler Smiles.
Thus the World's Eye with reconciled Streams
Shines in his showers, as if he wept his beams.
How could Success such Villanies applaud?
The State in Strassord fell, the Church in Laud,
The Twins of publick rage, adjudg'd to dye
For Treasons they should act by Prophecy.
The Facts were done before the Laws were made,
The Trump turn'd up after the Game was play'd.
Be dull great Spirits, and forbear to climb;
For Worth is sin, and Eminence a Crime.
No Church-man can be Innocent and High,
'Tis height makes Grantham Steeple stand awry.

Epitaphium Thomae Spell Coll. Divi Iohannis Praesidis.

HIc jacet Quantillum Quanti,
Ille, quatenus potuit mori,
Thomas Spellus:
Fuit nomen, erit Epitheton.
Posthumus sibi perennabit, idem
Olim & olim.
Ille qui sibi futurus Posteri,
Ut esse poterat Majores sui,
Honestis quicquid debuit Natalibus
Mactus in sese; disputandus utrum
Sui magis, an ex Patrum traduce;
Quem vitae Drama Mitionem dedit;
Qui verbae protulit, ut Alcedo pullos
Omine pacis;
Quocum sepulta jacet Urbanitas,
Et Malaci mores tanquam Soldurii
Commoriuntur.
Pauperum Scipio, & amor omnium.
Collegii Coagulum, Honorum Climax,
Scholaris, Socius, Senior, Praeses,
Et Pastor gregis in cruce providus,
Oculos à flendo non moror amplius.
Vixit.

Mark Anthony.

WHen as the Nightingale chanted her Vespers,
And the wild Forrester couch'd on the ground;
Venus invited me in th' Evening Whispers
Unto a fragrant Field with Roses crown'd;
[Page 66] Where she before had sent
My Wishes Complement,
Unto my Heart's content
Play'd with me on the Green:
Never Mark Anthony
Dallied more wantonly
With the fair Aegyptian Queen.
First on her cherry Cheeks I mine Eyes feasted,
Thence fear of Surfeiting made me retire;
Next on her warmer Lips, which when I tasted
My duller Spirits made me active as fire;
Then we began to dart,
Each at anothers Heart,
Arrows that knew no smart;
Sweet Lips and Smiles between.
Never Mark, &c.
Wanting a Glass to plate her Amber Tresses,
Which like a Bracelet rich decked mine Arm,
Gawdier than Iuno wears, when as she Graces
Iove with Embraces more stately, than warm;
Then did she peep in mine
Eyes, humour Chrystalline
I in her Eyes was seen,
As if we one had been.
Never Mark, &c.
Mystical Grammar of Amourous Glances;
Feeling of Pulses, the Physick of Love,
Rhetorical Courtings and Musical Dances,
Num [...]ring of Kisses Arithmetick prove
Eyes, like Astronomy,
Straight-limb'd Geometry
In her Art's Ingeny,
[Page 67] Our Wits were sharp and keen.
Never Mark Anthony
Dallied more wantonly
With the fair Aegyptian Queen.

The Author's Mock-Song to Mark Anthony.

WHen as the Nightingale sang Pluto's Mattins,
And Cerberus cry'd three Amens at a Howl,
When Night wandring Witches put on their Pattins,
Midnight as dark as their Faces are foul:
Then did the Furies doom
That the Night-Mare was come;
Such a mishapen Groom
Puts down Su. Pomfret clean.
Never did Incubus
Touch such a filthy Sus,
At this foul Gypsie Quean.
First on her Goosberry Cheeks I mine eyes Blasted,
Thence fear of vomiting made me retire
Unto her Blewer Lips, which when I tasted
My Spirits were duller than Dun in the Mire;
But when her Breath took place,
Which went an Usher's pace,
And made way for her Face,
You may guess what I mean.
Never did, &c.
Like Snakes engendring were platted her Tresses,
Or like to slimy streaks of roapy Ale;
Uglier than Envy wears, when she confesses
Her Head is periwig'd with Adder's Tail.
[Page 68] But as soon as she spake,
I heard a harsh Mandrake:
Laugh not at my Mistake,
Her Head is Epicene.
Never did, &c.
Mystical Magick of Conjuring Wrinkles;
Feeling of Pulses, the Palm'stry of Hags,
Scolding out Belches for Rhetorick Twinkles,
With three Teeth in her Head like to three Gags:
Rainbows about her eyes,
And her Nose Weather-wise,
From them the Almanack lies,
Prost, Pond and Rivers clean.
Never did Incubus
Touch such a filthy Sus,
As this foul Gypsie Quean.

How the Commencement grow's new.

TIs no Curranto-News I undertake,
New Teacher of the Town I mean not to make,
No New-England Voyage my Muse does intend,
No new Fleet, no bald Fleet, nor bonny Fleet send:
But if you'l be pleas'd to hear out this Ditty,
I'll tell you some News as True and as Witty;
And how the Commencement grows new.
See how the Simony-Doctors abound,
All crowding to throw away Forty pound:
They'l now in their Wives Stammel-Petticoats va­per
Without any need of an Argument-Draper;
Beholding to none, he neither beseeches
This Friend for Ven'son, nor t'other for Speeches
And so the Commencement grows new.
[Page 69] Every twice a day the Teaching Gaffer
Brings up his Easter-book to chaffer:
Nay some take Degrees, who never had Steeple,
Whose Means like Degrees, come from Placers of people,
They come to the Fair, and at the first pluck,
The Toll-man Bernaby strikes 'um good luck,
And so, &c.
The Country Parsons they do not come up
On Tuesday Night in their own Colledge to sup;
Their Bellies and Table-Books equally Sull,
The next Lecture-Dinner their Notes forth to pull:
How bravely the Marg'ret Professor Disputed,
The Homilies urg'd, and the School men Confuted?
And so, &c.
The Inceptor brings not his Father, the Clown,
To look with his Mouth at his Grogoram Gown;
With like Admiration to eat Roasted Beef,
Which Invention pos'd his Beyond-Trent-Belief;
Who should he but hear our Organs once sound,
[...]ould scarce keep his Hoof from Sellenger's Round,
And so, &c.
The Gentleman comes not to shew us his Satin,
To look with some Judgment at him that speaks La­tin;
To be angry with him that makes not his Cloaths
To answer, O Lord Sir, and talk Play-book-oaths.
[...]nd at the next Bear-baiting (full of his Sack)
To tell his Comrades our Discipline's slack.
And so, &c.
We have no Prevaricator's Wit;
[...]y, marry Sir, when have you had any yet?
[Page 70] Besides no serious Oxford man comes
To cry down the use of Jesting and Hums.
Our Ballad (believe't) is no stranger than true;
Mum Salter is sober, and Iack Martin too.
And so the Commencement grows new.

Square-cap.

COme hither Apollo's Bouncing Girl,
And in a whole Hipprocrene of Sherry
Let's drink a round till our Brains do whirl,
Tuning our Pipes to make our selves merry;
A Cambridge-Lass, Venus-like, born of the Froth
Of an old half-fill'd Jug of Barly-Broth,
She, she is my Mistress, her Suitors are many,
But she'll have a Square-Cap, if e'er she have any.
And first, for the Plush-sake, the Monmouth-Ca [...] comes
Shaking his Head, like an empty Bottle.
With his new [...]angled Oath by Iupiter's Thumbs,
That to her Health he'll begin a pottle:
He tells her, that after the Death of her Grannum
She shall have God knows what per Annum;
But still she replied, Good Sir La-bee,
If ever I have a Man, Square-Cap for me.
Then [...] Leather-Cap strongly pleads,
And fain would derive his Pedigree of fashion.
The (Antipodes wear their Shoes on their Heads,
And why may not we in their Imitation:
Oh! how the Foot-ball noddle would please,
If it were but well toss'd on Sir Thomas his Lees:
But still she replyed, Good Sir La-bee
If ever I have a Man, Square-Cap for me.
[Page 71] Next comes the Puritan in a wrought-Cap,
With a long-wasted Conscience towards a Sister,
And making a Chappel of Ease of her Lap;
First he said Grace, and then he kiss'd her:
Beloved, quoth he, thou art my Text;
Then falls he to Use and Application next,
But then she replied, your Text Sir I'll be;
For then I'm sure you'll ne'er handle me.
But see where Sattin-Cap scouts about,
And fain would this Wench in his Fellowship marry,
He told her how such a Man was not put out,
Because his Wedding he closely did carry.
He'll purchase Induction by Simony,
And offers her Money her Incumbent to be,
But still she replied, Good Sir La-bee,
If ever I have a Man, Square-Cap for me.
The Lawyer's a Sophister by his Round-Cap,
Nor in their Fallacies are they divided,
The one Milks the Pocket, the other the Tap,
And yet this Wench he fain would have Brided:
Come leave these thred-bare Scholars, quoth he,
And give me Livery and Seisin of thee.
But peace Iohn-a-Nokes, and leave your Oration,
For I never will be your Impropriation:
I pray you therefore, Good Sir La-bee;
For if ever I have a Man, Square-Cap for me.

The Character of a Country-Committee­man, with the Ear-mark of a Se­questrator.

A Committee man by his Name should be one that is possessed; there is number enough in it to make an Epithet for Legion. He is Persona in concreto (to borrow the Solecism of a Modern Statesman.) You may translate it by the Red-Bull Phrase, and speak as properly, Enter seven Devils solus. It is a well-truss'd Title, that contains both the Number and the Beast; for a Committee-man is a Noun of Multitude, he must be spell'd with Figures, like Antichrist wrapp'd in a Pair-Royal of Sixes. Thus the Name is as monstrous as the Man, a complex Notion, of the same Lineage with Accumulative Treason. For his Office it is the Heptarchy, or England's Fritters; it is the bro­ken meat of a crumbling Prince, only the Royalty is greater; for it is here, as in the Miracle of Loaves, the Voyder exceeds the Bill of Fare. The Pope and he rings the Changes; here is the Plura­lity of Crowns to one Head, joyn them together and there is a Harmony in Discord. The Triple­headed Turn-key of Heaven, with the Triple­headed Porter of Hell. A Committee-man is the Reliques of Regal Government, but, like Holy Reliques, he out-bulks the Substance whereof he is a Remnant. There is a score of Kings in a Com­mittee, [Page 73] as in the Reliques of the Cross there is the number of Twenty. This is the Gyant with the hundred hands that wields the Scepter; the Tyrannical Bead-Roll, by which the Kingdom prays backward, and at every Curse drops a Com­mittee-man. Let Charles be wav'd, whose con­descending Clemency aggravates the Defection, and make Nero the Question, better a Nero than a Committee. There is less Execution by a single Bullet, than by Case-shot.

Now a Committee-man is a party-colour'd Offi­cer. He must be drawn like Ianus with Cross and Pile in his Countenance; as he relates to the Soul­diers, or faces about to his fleecing the Country. Look upon him martially, and he is a Justice of War, one that hath bound his Dalton up in Buff, and will needs be of the Quorum to the best Com­manders. He is one of Mars his Lay-Elders, he shares in the Government, though a Non-confor­mist to his bleeding Rubrick. He is the like Secta­ry in Arms, as the Platonick is in Love; keeps a fluttering in Discourse, but proves a Haggard in the Action. He is not of the Souldiers, and yet of his Flock. It is an Emblem of the Golden Age (and such indeed he makes it to him) when so tame a Pigeon may converse with Vultures. Me­thinks a Committee hanging about a Governour, and Bandileers dangling about a fur'd Alderman, have an Anagram Resemblance. There is no Syn­tax between a Cap of Maintenance and a Helmet. Who ever knew an Enemy routed by a Grand Jury and a Billa vera? It is a left-handed Garrison where their Authority perches; but the more preposte­rous, the more in fashion; the right hand fights, [Page 74] while the left rules the Reins. The truth is, the Souldier and the Gentleman are like Don Quixot and Sancha Pancha, one fights at all Adventures to purchase the other the Government of the Island. A Committee-man properly should be the Gover­nour's Mattress to sit his Truckle, and to new-string him with sinews of War; for his chief use is to raise Assessments in the Neighbouring Wapen­take.

The Country people being like an Irish Co [...] that will not give down her Milk, unless she see her Calf before her: Hence it is he is the Garrison's Dry-Nurse, he chews their Contribution before he feeds them; so the poor Souldiers live like Trochi­lus, [...]y picking the Teeth of this sacred Croco­dile.

So much for his Warlike or Ammunition-Face; which is so preternatural, that it is rather a Vi­zard than a Face; Mars in him hath but a blinking Aspect, his Face of Arms is like his Coat, Partit per-pale; Souldier and Gentleman much of a Scant­ling.

Now enter his Taxing and deglubing Face, a squeezing Look, like that of Vespastanus, as if he [...]ere bleeding over a Close-stool.

Take him thus, and he is in the Inquisition of the Purse an Authentick Gypsie, that nips your [...]ung with a Canting Ordinance: not a murthered Fortune in all the Country, but bleeds at the Touch of this Malefactor. He is the Spleen of the Body Politick, that swells it self to the Consumption of the Whole. At first indeed he ferreted for the Parliament, but since he hath got off his Cope he set up for himself. He lives upon the Sins of the [Page 75] People, and that is a good standing Dish too. He verifies the Axiom, Iisdem nutritur ex quibus componitur; his Diet is suitable to his Constitution. I have wondred often, why the plundred Country­men should repair to him for succour; certainly it is under the same Notion, as one whose Pockets are pick'd goes to Mal Cut-purse, as the Predominant in that Faculty.

He out-dives a Dutch man, gets a Noble of him that was never worth six pence; for the poorest do not escape, but Dutch-like, he will be dreyning even in the driest Ground. He aliens a Delin­quent's Estate with as little Remorse, as his other Holiness gives away an Heretick's Kingdom; and for the truth of the Delinquency, both Chapmen have as little share of Infallibility. Lye is the Grand Salad of Arbitrary Government, Executor to the Star-chamber and the High Commission; for those Courts are not extinct, they survive in him, like Dollars changed into single Money. To speak the truth, He is the Universal Tribunal: For since these Times all Causes fall to his Cogni­zance; as in a great Infection all Diseases turn oft to the Plague. It concerns our Masters the Parliament to look about them; if he proceedeth at this rate, the Jack may come to swallow the Pike, as the Interest often eats out the Principal. As his Commands are great, so he looks for a Re­verence accordingly. He is punctual in exacting your Hat, and to say, Right is his due, but by the same Title as the upper Garment is the Vails of the Executioner. There was a time, when such Cattle would hardly have been taken upon suspici­on for Men in office, unless the old Proverb were [Page 76] renewed, That the Beggars make a Free Company, and those their Wardens. You may see what it is to hang together. Look upon them severally, and you cannot but fumble for some Threds of Charity. But oh, they are Termagants in Con­junction! like Fidlers, who are Rogues when they go single, and join'd in Consort, Gentlemen Musicianers. I care not much if I untwist my Com­mittee-man, and so give him the Receipt of this Grand Catholicon.

Take a State-martyr, one that for his good Be­haviour hath paid the Excise of his Ears, so suffer­ed Captivity by the Land-Piracy of Ship-money; next a Primitive Freeholder, one that hates the King because he is a Gentleman, transgressing the Magna Charta of Delving Adam: Add to these a Mortified Bankrupt, that helps out his false Weights with some Scruples of Conscience, and with his peremptory Scales can doom his Prince with a Mene Tekel. These with a new blew-stock­ing'd Justice, lately made of a good Basket-hilted Yeoman, with a short-handed Clerk, tack'd to the Rear of him to carry the Knap-sack of his Un­derstanding; together with two or three Equivo­cal Sirs, whose Religion, like their Gentility, is the Extract of their Acres; being therefore Spiri­tual, because they are Earthly; not forgetting the Man of the Law, whose Corruption gives the Hogan to the sincere Juncto. These are the Sim­ples of this Precious Compound; a kind of Dutch Hotch-Potch, the Hogan Mogan Committee-man.

The Committee-man hath a Side-man, or rather a Setter, right a Sequestrator, of whom you may [Page 77] say, as of the Great Sultan's Horse, where he treads the Grass grows no more. He is the States Cormorant, one that fishes for the publick, but feeds himself; the misery is, he fishes without the Cormorant's Property, a Rope to strengthen the Gullet, and to make him disgorge. A Sequestra­tor! He is the Devil's Nut-hook, the Sign with him is always in the Clutches. There are more Monsters retain to him, than to all the Limbs in Anatomy. It is strange Physicians do not apply him to the Soles of the Feet in a desperate Fever, he draws far beyond Pigeons. I hope some Moun­tebank will slice him, and make the Experiment. He is a Tooth-drawer once removed; here is the difference, one applauds the Grinder, the other the Grist. Never till now could I verifie the Po­et's Description, that the ravenous Harpie had a Humane Visage. Death himself cannot quit scores with him; like the Demoniack in the Gospel, he lives among Tombs; nor is all the Holy Water shed by Widows and Orphans, a sufficient Exorcism to dispossess him. Thus the Cat sucks your breath, and the Fiend your blood; nor can the Brotherhood of Witch-finders, so sagely institu­ted with all their Terror, wean the Familiars.

But once more to single out my emboss'd Com­mittee-man; his Fate (for I know you would fain see an end of him) is either a whipping Au­dit, when he is wrung in the Withers by a Com­mittee of Examinations, and so the Spunge weeps out the Moisture which he had soaked before; or else he meets his Passing-peal in the clamorous Mu­tiny of a Gut-foundred Garrison: for the Hedge­sparrow will be feeding the Cuckow, till he [Page 78] mistake his Commons and bites off her head. What-ever it is, it is within his desert: For what is observed of some Creatures, that at the same time they trade in Productions three Stories high, Suckling the first, Big with the second, and Click­eting for the third: A Committee-man is the Counterpoint, his Mischief is Superfoetation, a certain Scale of Destruction; for he ruins the Fa­ther, beggars the Son, and strangles the hopes of all Posterity.

The Character of a Diurnal-maker.

A Diurnal-maker is the Sub-almoner of History, Queen Mabs Register; one whom, by the same Figure that a North-country Pedlar is a Merchant-man, you may stile an Au­thor. It is like over-reach of Language, when e­very thin, Tinder-cloak'd Quack must be called a Doctor; when a clumsie Cobler usurps the Attri­bute of our English Peers, and is vamp'd a Transla­tor. List him a Writer, and you smother Geoffry in Swabber-slops; the very name of Dabler over­sets him; he is swallowed up in the Phrase, like Sir S. L. in a great Saddle, nothing to be seen, but the Giddy Feather in his Crown. They call him a Mercury, but he becomes the Epithet, like the lit­tle Negro mounted upon an Elephant, just such a­nother Blot Rampant. He has not Stuffings suffi­cient for the Reproach of a Scribler; but it hangs about him like an old Wifes Skin, when the Flesh hath forsaken her, lank and loose. He defames a good Title, as well as most of our Modern Noble-Men; [Page 79] those Wens of Greatness, the Body Poli­tick's most peccant Humours, Blistred into Lords. He hath so Raw-bon'd a Being, that however you render him, he rubs it out and makes Rags of the Expression. The silly Country-man, who see­ing an Ape in a Scarlet-coat, bless'd his young Worship, and gave his Landlord joy of the hopes of his House, did not slander his Complement with worse Application, than he that names this Shred an Historian. To call him an Historian is to knight a Mandrake: 'Tis to view him through a Perspective, and by that gross Hyperbole to give the Reputation of an Engineer to a Maker of Mouse-traps. Such an Historian would hardly pass muster with a Scotch Stationer, in a Sieve full of Ballads and Godly Books. He would not serve for the Breast-plate, of a begging Grecian. The most cramp'd Compendium that the Age hath seen, since all Learning hath been almost torn into Ends, outstrips him by the Head. I have heard of Pup­pets that could prattle in a Play, but never saw of their Writings before. There goes a report of the Holland Women, that together with their Children, they are delivered of a Sooterkin, not un­like to a Rat, which some imagine to be the Off­spring of the Stoves. I know not what Ignis fatuus adulterates the Press, but it seems much after that fashion, else how could this Vermin think to be a Twin to a Legitimate Writer; when those week­ly Fragments shall pass for History, let the poor man's Box be intituled the Exchequer, and the Alms-basket a Magazine. Not a Worm that gnaws on the dull Scalp of Voluminous Hollinshed, but at every Meal devour'd more Chronicle, than [Page 80] his Tribe amounts to. A Marginal Note of W. P. would serve for a Winding-sheet, for that man's Works, like thick-skin'd Fruits, are all Rinde, fit for nothing but the Authors Fate to be pared in a Pillory.

The Cook, who serv'd up the Dwarf in a Pye (to continue the Frollick) might have lapp'd up such an Historian as this in the Bill of Fare. He is the first Tincture and Rudiment of a Writer, dipp'd as yet in the preparative Blew, like an Al­manack Well-willer. He is the Cadet of a Pam­phleteer, the Pedee of a Romancer; he is the Em­bryo of a History slink'd before Maturity. How should he Record the Issue's of time, who is him­self an Abortive? I will not say but that he may pass for an Historian in Garbier's Academy; he is much of the size of those Knot-grass Professors. What a pittiful Seminary was there projected! Yet sutable enough to the present Universities, those dry Nurses, which the Providence of the Age has so fully reform'd, that they are turn'd Reformado's: But that's no matter, the meaner the better. It is a Maxim observable in these days, That the only way to win the Game is to play Petty Iohns. Of this number is the Esquire of the Quill; for he hath the Grudging of History, and some Yawnings accordingly. Writing is a Disease in him, and holds like a Quotidian; so 'tis his In­firmity that makes him an Author, as Mahomet was beholding to the Falling-sickness to vouch him a Prophet. That nice Artificer, who field a Chain so thin and light, that a Flea could trail it (as if he had work'd Short-hand, and taught his Tools to Cypher) did but contrive an Emblem for this [Page 81] Skip-Jack and his slight productions.

Methinks the Turk should license Diurnals, be­cause he prohibits Learning and Books. A Libra­ry of Diurnals is a Wardrobe of Frippery; 'tis a just Idea of a Limbo of the Infants. I saw one once that could write with his Toes, by the same token I could have wished he had worn his Copies for Socks; 'tis he without doubt from whom the Di­urnals derive their Pedigree, and they have a Birth-right accordingly, being shuffled out at the bed's feet of History. To what infinite numbers an Historian would multiply, should he crumble into Elves of this Profession? To supply this smalness they are fain to joyn Forces, so they are not singly, but as the Custom is, in a Croaking Com­mittee. They tug at the Pen, like slaves at the Oar, a whole Bank together; they write in the Posture that the Suedes gave fire in, over one ano­ther's heads. It is said there is more of them go to a Suit of Cloaths than to a Britannicus: In this Polygamy the Cloaths breed, and cannot deter­mine whose Issue is Lawfully begotten.

And here I think it were not amiss to take a particular how he is accourred, and so do by him as he in his Siquis for the Wall-ey'd Mare, or the Crop-Flea-bitten, give you the Marks of the Beast. I begin with his Head, which is ever in Clouts, as if the Night-cap should make Affidavit, that the Brain was pregnant. To what purpose doth the Pia Mater lie in so dully in her white For­malities: Sure she hath had hard Labour; for the Brows have squeezed for it, as you may perceive by his Butter'd Bon-grace, that Film of a Demi­castor; 'tis so thin and unctuous that the Sun-beams [Page 82] mistake it for a Vapour, and are like to Cap him; so it is right Heliotrope, it creaks in the Shine, and [...]aps in the Shade: whatever it be, I wish it were able to call in his Ears. There's no proportion be­tween that Head and Appurtenances; those of all Lungs are no more fit-for that small Noddle of the Circumcision, than Brass Bosses for a Geneva-Bible. In what a puzzling Neutrality is the poor Soul, that moves betwixt two such ponderous Biasses! His Collar is edg'd with a peice of peeping Lin­nen, by which he means a Band; 'tis the Forlorn of his Shirt crawling out of his Neck: Indeed it were time that his Shirt were jogging; for it has serv'd an Apprenticeship and (as Apprentices use) it hath learned its Trade too, to which effect 'tis marching to the Paper-mill, and the next week sets up for it self in the shape of a Pamphlet. His Gloves are the shavings of his Hands; for he casts his Skin like a cancell'd Parchment. The Itch re­presents the broken Seals. His Boots are the Le­gacies of two black Jacks, and till he pawn'd the Silver that the Jacks were tipp'd with, it was a pretty Mode of Boot-hose-tops. For the rest of his Habit he is a perfect Sea-man, a kind of Tarpaw­ [...], he being hang'd about with his course Compo­sition, those Pole-davie Papers.

But I must draw to an end; for every Charac­ter is an Anatomy-lecture, and it [...]ares with me in this of the Diurnal-maker, as with him that reads on a begg'd Malefactor, my Subject smells before I have gone thorough with him; for a parting Blow then. The word Historian imports a sage and Tole [...]n Author; one that curles his Brow with a sullen Gravity, like a Bull-neck'd [Page 83] Presbyter, since the Army hath got him off his Jurisdiction, who Presbyter-like sweeps his Breast with a Reverend Beard, full of Native Moss-Troopers: not such a squirting Scribe as this, that's troubled with the Rickets, and makes penny­worths of History. The Colledge-Treasury that never had in Bank above a Harry-groat, shut up there in a melancholick solitude, like one that is kept to keep possession, had as good Evidence to shew for his Title, as he for an Historian: so, if he will needs be an Historian, he is not cited in the Sterling acceptation, but after the rate of Blew­caps Reckoning, an Historian Scot. Now a Scotch­man's Tongue runs high Fullams. There is a Cheat in his Idiom; for the sence Ebbs from the bold Expression, like the Citizen's Gallon, which the Drawer interprets but half a Pint. In summ; a Diurnal-maker is the Antimark of an Historian; he differs from him as a Dril from a Man, or (if you had rather have it in the Saints Gibbrish (as a Hinter doth from a Holder forth.

The Character of a London-Diurnal.

A Diurnal is a puny Chronicle, scarce Pin-fea­ther'd with the Wings of Time. It is a Histo­ry in Sippets: The English Iliads in a Nutshel: The Apocryphal Parliament's Book of Maccabees in single sheets. It would tire a Welshman to reck­on up how many Aps 'tis removed from an Annal: for it is of that Extract, only of the younger. House, like a Shrimp to a Lobster. The Original Sinner in this kind was Dutch, Gallobelgi [...]us the [Page 84] Protoplast, and the modern Mercuries but Hans-en­kelders. The Countess of Zoaland was brought to bed of an Almanack, as many Children as days in the year. It may be the Legislative Lady is of that Linage, so she spawns the Diurnals, and they at Westminster take them in Adoption by the names of Scoticus, Civicus, Britannicus. In the Frontispeice of the old Beldam Diurnal, like the Contents of the Chapter, sitteth the House of Commons judging the twelve Tribes of Israel. You may call them the Kingdoms Anatomy before the weekly Kalen­dar; for such is a Diurnal, the day of the Month with what Weather in the Commonwealth. It is taken for the Pulse of the Body Politick, and the Emperick-Divines of the Assembly, those Spiritu­al Dragooners, thumb it accordingly. Indeed it is a pretty Synopsis; and those Grave Rabbies (though in the point of Divinity) trade in no lar­ger Authors. The Country-carrier, when he buys it for the Vicar, miscals it the Urinal; yet properly enough, for it casts the Water of the State ever since it staled Blood. It differs from an Aulicus, as the Devil and his Exorcist, or as a black Witch doth from a white one, whose office is to unravel her Enchantments.

It begins usually with an Ordinance, which is a Law still-born, dropt before quickned by the Roy­al Assent. 'Tis one of the Parliament's By-blows, Acts only being Legitimate, and hath no more Sire than a Spanish Gennet that is begotten by the Wind.

Thus their Militia, like its Patron Mars, is the Issue only of the Mother, without the Concourse of Royal Iupiter: Yet Law it is, if they vote it, in [Page 85] defiance to their Fundamentals; like the old Sex­ton, who swore his Clock went true, whatever the Sun said to the contrary.

The next Ingredient of a Diurnal is Plots, hor­rible Plots, which with wonderful Sagacity it hunts dry-foot, while they are yet in their Causes before Materia prima can put on her Smock. How many such fits of the Mother have troubled the Kingdom; and for all Sir W. E. looks like a Man-Midwife, not yet delivered of so much as a Cushi­on? But Actors must have Properties; and since the Stages were voted down, the only Play-house is at Westminster.

Suitable to their Plots are their Informers, Skip­pers and Taylors, Spaniels both for the Land and Water. Good conscionable Intelligence! For however Pym's Bill may inflame the reckoning, the honest Vermine have not so much for Lying as the Publick Faith.

Thus a zealous Botcher in Moorfields, while [...]he was contriving some Quirpo-cut of Church-Go­vernment, by the help of his outlying Ears and the Otacousticon of the Spirit, discovered such a Piot, that Selden intends to combat Antiquity, and maintain it was a Taylor's Goose that preserv'd the Capitol.

I wonder my Lord of Canterbury is not once more [...]ll-to-be-traytor'd, for dealing with the Lyons to settle the Commission of Array in the Tower. It would do well to cramp the Articles dormant, be­sides the opportunity of reforming these Beasts of [...]he Prerogative, and changing their profaner [...]ames of Harry and Charles into Nehemiah and Eleazar.

[Page 86] Suppose a Corn-cutter, being to give little Isaac a cast of his Office, should fall to paring his Brows (mistaking the one end for the other, because he branches at both) this would be a Plot, and the next Diurnal would furnish you with this Scale of Votes.

Resolv'd upon the Question, That this Act of the Corn-cutter was an absolute Invasion of the Cities Char­ter in the representative forehead of Isaac.

Resolv'd, That the evil Counsellours about the Corn-cutter are Popishly-affected, and Enemies to the State.

Resolv'd, That there be a publick Thanksgiving for the great deliverance of Isaac's Brown-antlers; and a solemn Covenant drawn up to defie the Corn-cutter and all his Works.

Thus the Quixots of this Age fight with the Windmils of their own heads, quell Monsters of their own Creation, make Plots, and then discover them; as who fitter to unkennel the Fox, than the Terrier that is part of him?

In the third place march their Adventures; the Roundheads Legend, The Rebels Romance; Sto­ries of a larger size, than the Ears of their Sect, a­ble to strangle the Belief of a Solifidian.

I'll present them in their order. And first as a Whister before the show enter Stamford, one that trod the Stage with the first, travers'd his ground, made a Leg and Exit. The Country people took him for one, that by Order of the Houses was to dance a Morrice through the West of England. Well, he's a nimble Gentleman; set him upon Banks his Horse in a Saddle rampant, and it is a great question which part of the Centaure shews better Tricks.

[Page 87] There was a Vote passing to translate him with all his Equipage into Monumental Gingerbread; but it was crossed by the female Committee, alled­ging that the Valour of his Image, would bite their Children by the Tongues.

This Cubit and half of Commander, by the help of a Diurnal routed his Enemies fifty miles off. It's strange you'll say, and yet 'tis generally be­liev'd, he would as soon do it at that distance as nearer hand. Sure it was his Sword for which the Weapon-salve was invented; that so wounding and healing (like loving Correlates) might both work at the same removes. But the Squib is run to the end of the Rope: Room for the Prodigy of Valour. Madam Atropos in Breeches, Waller's Knight-errantry; and because every Mountebank must have his Zany, throw him in Hazlerig to set off his Story. These two, like Bel and the Dragon, are always worshipped in the same Chap­ter; they hunt in couples, what one doth at the head, the other scores up at the heels.

Thus they kill a man over and over, as Hopkins and Sternhold murder the Psalms with another of the same; one chimes all in, and then the other strikes up as the Saints-Bell.

I wonder for how many Lives my Lord Hopton took the Lease of his Body.

First Stamford slew him, then Waller out-kill'd that half a Barr; and yet it is thought the sullen Corps would scarce bleed, were both these Man­slayers never so near it.

The fame goes of a Dutch Headsman, that he would do his office with so much ease and dexteri­ty, that the Head after Execution should stand up­on [Page 88] the Shoulders. Pray God Sir William be not Proba­tioner for the place; for as if he had the same knack too, most of those whom the Diurnal hath slain for him, to us poor Mortals seem untoucht.

Thus these Artificers of death, can kill the Man without wounding the Body, like Lightning, that melts the Sword, and never singdes the Scabbard.

This is the William whose Lady is the Conque­ror; This is the City's Champion and the Diur­nals delight; he that Cuckolds the General in his Commission; for he stalks with Essex, and shoots under his Belly, because his Excellency himself is not charged there; yet in all this triumph there is a Whip and a Bell; translate but the Scene to Roundway down, there Hazelrig's Lobsters turn'd Crabs, and crawled backwards; there poor Sir William ran to his Lady for an use of Consolation.

But the Diurnal is weary of the arm of flesh, and now begins an Hosanna to Cromwel; one that hath beat up his Drums clean through the Old Testament; you may learn the Genealogy of our Saviour by the names in his Regiment: the Muster­master uses no other List but the first Chapter of Matthew.

With what face can they object to the King the bringing in of Foreigners, when themselves en­tertain such an Army of Hebrews? This Cromwel is never so valourous, as when he is making Speeches for the Association; which nevertheless he doth somewhat ominously with his Neck awry, holding up his ear as if he expected Mahomet's Pigeon to come and prompt him. He should be a Bird of Prey too by his bloody Beak: His Nose is able to try a young Eagle, whether she be lawfully begot­ten. [Page 89] But all is not Gold that glisters. What we wonder at in the rest of them is natural to him, to kill without Bloodshed; for the most of his Tro­phies are in a Church-window, when a Looking­glass would shew him more Superstition. He is so perfect a hater of Images, that he hath defaced God's in his own Countenance. If he deals with men, 'tis when he takes them napping in an old Monument, then down goes Dust and Ashes, and the stoutest Cavalier is no better. O brave Oli­ver! Time's Voyder, Subsizer to the Worms, in whom Death, who formerly devoured our Ancest­ors, now chews the cud. He said Grace once as if he would have fallen aboard with the Marquess of Newcastle; nay and the Diurnal gave you his Bill of fare; but it proved a running Banquet, as appears by the Story. Believe him as he whistles to his Cambridge-Teem of Committee-men, and he doth Wonders. But holy Men, like the holy Lan­guage, must be read backwards. They rifle Col­leges to promote Learning, and pull down Chur­ches for Edification. But Sacrilege is entail'd up­on him. There must be a Cromwel for Cathedrals as well as Abbeys; a secure sin, whose offence car­ries its pardon in its mouth: for how shall he be hang'd for Church-robbery, that gives himself the benefit of the Clergy!

But for all Cromwel's Nose wears the Dominical Letter, compar'd to Manchester, he is but like the Vigils to an Holy-day. This, this is the Man of God, so sanctified a Thunderbolt, that Bur­roughs (in a proportionable Blasphemy to his Lord of Hosts) would style him the Archangel giving battel to the Devil.

[Page 90] Indeed as the Angels each of them makes a seve­ral Species; so every one of his Souldiers makes [...] distinct Church. Had these Beasts been to enter into the Ark, it would have puzzled Noah to have sorted them into pairs. If ever there were a Rope of Sand, it was so many Sects twisted into an Asso­ciation.

They agree in nothing, but that they are all Ada­mites in understanding. It is a sign of a Coward to wink and fight, yet all their Valour proceed [...] from their Ignorance.

But I wonder whence their General's Purity proceeds; it is not by Traduction: If he was be­gotten a Saint, it was by equivocal Generation, for the Devil in the Father is turn'd Monk in the Son, so his Godliness is of the same Parentage with good Laws, both extracted out of bad Manners; and would he alter the Scripture, as he hath at­tempted the Creed, he might vary the Text, and say to Corruption, Thou art my Father.

This is he that put out one of the Kingdom's Eyes by clouding our Mother-University; and (if this Scotch Mist farther prevail) he will ex­tinguish the other. He hath the like quarrel to both, because both are strung with the same Optick Nerve, Knowing Loyalty.

Barbarous Rebel! Who will be reveng'd upon all Learning, because his Treason is beyond the Mercy of the Book.

The Diurnal as yet hath not talk'd much of his Victories, but there is the more behind; for the Knight must always beat the Giant, that's re­solv'd.

If any thing fall out amiss which cannot be smo­ther'd, [Page 91] the Diurnal hath a help at maw. It is but putting to Sea and taking a Danish Fleet, or brew­ing it with some success out of Ireland, and then it goes down merrily.

There are more Puppets that move by the wyre of a Diurnal, as Brereton and Gell, two of [...] his Petty-toes, such sniveling Cowards, that it is a favour to call them so. Was Brereton to fight with his Teeth (as in all other things he resembles the Beast) he would have odds of any man at the weapon. O he's a terrible Slaughter-man at a Thanksgiving-Dinner! Had he been Cannibal to have eaten those that he vanguish'd, his Gut would have made him valiant.

The greatest wonder is at Fairfax, how he comes to be a Babe of Grace; certainly it is not in his personal, but (as the State-Sophies distinguish) in his Politick Capacity; regenerate ab extra by the Zeal of the House he sate in, as Chickens are hatcht at Grand Cairo by the Adoption of an O­ven.

There is the Woodmonger too, a feeble Crutch to a declining Cause; a new Branch of the old Oak of Reformation.

And now I speak of Reformation, Vouz avez Fox the Tinker, the liveliest Emblem of it that may be: for what did this Parliament ever go about to reform, but Tinker-wise, in mending one hole they made Three?

But I have not Ink enough to cure all the Tetters and Ringworms of the State.

I will close up all thus. The Victories of the Rebels are like the Magical Combat of Apuleius, who thinking he had slain three of his Enemies, [Page 92] found them at last but a Triumvirate of Bladders. Such, and so empty are the Triumphs of a Diur­nal, but so many Impostumated Phancies, so many Bladders of their own blowing.

A Letter sent from a Parliament-Officer at Grantham to Mr. Cleveland in Newark.

SIR,

THough I have no reason to be guilty of much good meaning to your Garrison; yet I thought it not unfit to tell you, that on Fryday last, one Hill by name, in no other condition than my Servant, entred your Ark, and with him of my Monies 133 l. 8d. This precise Sum I was wil­ling you should know, supposing your Wisdom might own the moneys, though your Honesty could hardly allow the Act: which if so, and that hereafter we shall find it no Sin to violate your San­ctuary, and upon the Audit find the-Receipt, we may happily count it a Loan, and not a Loss, it be­ing in hands responsible for greater matters. And now, Sir, let me speak to you as a Judge, not as an Advocate. Give the Fellow his just reward; prefer him, or send him hither and we shall: if you dare not trust him, let him be Trussed; i [...] you dare, I shall wish you more such Servants; and for that only reason excuse me for the present, that I dare not say I am yours

W. E,

Mr. Cleveland's Reply.

Sixthly, Beloved,

IS it so then, that our Brother and Fellow-la­bourer in the Gospel is started aside? Then this may serve for an use of Instruction, not to trust in Man, nor in the Son of Man. Did not Demas leave Paul? Did not Onesimus run from his Master Philemon? Besides, this should teach us to employ our Talent, and not to lay it up in a Napkin. Had it been done among the Cavaliers, it had been just; then the Israelite had spoiled the Egyptian; but for Simeon to plunder Levi, That! That! You see, Sir, what Use I make of the Doctrine you sent me; and indeed since you change Style, so far as to nib­ble at Wit, you must pardon me, if to quit scores, I pretend a little to the Gift of Preaching. Sir, I expected to hear from you in the Language of the lost Groat, and the Prodigal Son, and not in such a Tantivy of Language; but I perceive your Com­munication is not always Yea, Yea; now and then a little Harlotry-Rhetorick. You say that your Man is entred our Ark: I am sorry you were so ig­norant in Scripture, as to let him come single. The Text had been better satisfied, if you had pleased to bear him company; for then the Beasts had entred by Couples: But though he came alone, yet well lin'd it seems, with 133 l. 8d. Sure your Hue and Cry hath good Lungs, it would have been out of breath else, before it had reached the Eight pence. This is the Summ; but why you call it [Page 94] the Precise Summ, since it is thus fallen away, I understand not. But how come you to reckon so punctually? Did Ananias tell it upon the Table Dormant? What year of the Persecution of the Saints? I wonder you did not rather count it by the Shekels, that is the more sanctified Coyn. You mistake in the Sanctuary you speak of; for that which your Man hath taken in Welbeck, one of our Chappels of Ease, not the Mother-Church, our Garrison of Newark; but the best is, they are both without the reach of your Sacrilege. Whereas you account your Loss but a Loan, we shall grant it a Debt, but bearing the same Date of Payment with that which you borrowed on the Publick Faith. I suspect your hand was troubled with the Palsie, when you wrote of a Judge; your Man however shall find me an Advocate; for what say you to an occasional Meditation? Reflect but up­on your self, how you have used your Common Master, and I doubt not but you will pardon your Man. He hath but transcribed Rebellion, and co­pied out that Disloyalty in Short-hand, which you have committed in Text. Sir, I bemoan your Losses, and am sorry I cannot as easily repay that of your Money, as your Man, being resolv'd to sup­ply that place my self; and to make it appear by wearing the Livery of this Title,

Sir,
Your Servant I. C.

The Officer's Rejoynder.

SIR,

HAd not Indulgent Mercy provided for troub­led Spirits Sacred Oracles, how troubled had you been to contrive something worthy of Laugh­ter? How easie had the expence of your Wit been trussed up in an Egg-shell. I dare not trace in ho­ly Ground, it is not safe nibbling there. You see what Doctrine I make of your Use; but yet so far as yours is Profane, give me leave to nibble at Wit. Though I dare not undertake like a migh­ty Coloss (whose very motion doth Cleave Land, like [...]erram findere) to devour indigested lumps of Wit, as the Cyclops Men at a Morsel, and then retail it [...]ut, as a Juggler doth Inkle, by the Yard; yet al­low me to nibble, and I'll allow you the Gift in Preaching. Pity it is, the provision of so many sa­voury Lessons, wholesome Instructions, even so many pious Collections, as might worthily have entitled you to the comfortable Subsistence of a well-gleb'd Vicarage. Besides the Advantage of a Wit, which would require another Wit to tell [...]ow great; such a Divine Knowledge, as might enable you to profane every Leaf of Holy Writ; Unknown Sanctity, and a Conscience so tender I dare not touch. Pity it is, such accomplish'd Gifts and prodigious Parts, should be misemploy'd in Se­cular affairs. Such an Holy Father might have be­got as many Babes for the Mother-Church of New­ [...]ark, as our Party of late hath done Garrisons, and [Page 96] converted as many Souls as Chaucer's Friar with th [...] Shoulder-bone of the lost Sheep. But you say yo [...] expected (I thought you had had more than yo [...] expected) but however you expected Penitentia [...] Language and Humble Style, (the Groat I wi [...] not meddle with, 'tis Holy Coyn) an Addres [...] full of Complaints; Sir, we, like your selves, ca [...] speak big of our Losses, and yet with more Inge­nuity confess them; though I for modesty will no [...] ask you who stole from you of late a Fort-town? Or who run away with the King? but of that—For that precise Summ, I see you are willing to quarrel at Preciseness; it was to tell you, Revenge would have transferr'd it upon your very—How you quarrel at your good! Had you mistaxen him for a Tax-gatherer, and eased him of his Por­tage before he arriv'd at your Chappel of Ease. I would not you should have abated him a fourth part for his Forwardness, and put it upon the File of Contribution for his Majestie's good Garrsson of Newark; I should have liked the Security well and when your Works had fail'd to save you, ex­pected a return upon the Publick Faith; the Medi­tation whereof, putteth me upon this Advice: Think not Prophaneness can compact with Mud, to cast up a Trench of Security. Attempt not (though a Giant) to reach at Stars; to throw that Proverb at you,

Be wise on this side Heaven.

Mr. Cleveland's Answer.

SIR,

THE Philosopher that never laughed but once, when he saw an Ass mumbling of Thistles, would have broke his Spleen at this Rejoynder of yours; for who would not take that to be an Em­blem of this, observing how gingerly, and with what caution you nibble at my letter, lest it should prick your Chops? But something must needs be replied. Repetitions are usual with the Saints at Grantham. I look upon your Letter as a Spittle-Sermon; Sallinger's Round, the same again. I per­ceive your Ambition, how you would prove your self to be a clean Beast, because you know how to chew the Cud; for the first Sentence where you speak of troubled Spirits and Sacred Oracles, you talk as if you were in Doll Commons Extasie. Cer­tainly your spirit is troubled, else your Expressi­on had not run so muddy; for never was Oracle more ambiguous, if possible to be reconciled to Sence. The Wit which you say may be truss'd up in an Egg-shell, I fear your Oval Crown hath scarce Capacity enough to contain. You disclaim being a Coloss: Content; I have as diminitive thoughts of you as you please. I take you for a Jack-a-Lent, and my Pen shall make use of you according­ly, three Throws for a penny: But you cannot Cleave Land like Terrain findere. What a charge­able Commodity is Wit at Grantham, where the poor Writer plays the Pimp, and jumbles two [Page 98] Language together in unlawful Sheets for the Pro­duction of a Quibble: But I applaud your Cun­ning, for the more unknown Tongue you jest in, your Wit will be the better. And why cannot you Cleave the Land? Tread but hard, and your clo­ven Foot will leave its Impression. You talk of Cyclops and Juglers (indeed hard words are the Jugler's Dialect:) But take heed, the time may come, when unless you can play Presto be gone, your Run-away King may cause you Jugler-wise to disgorge your Fate, and vomit a Rope instead of Inkle. But to eccho your Comparison, and to re­turn you an Inventory of your good Parts. Is it not pity, that the pure Extract of sanctified Emma­nuel, parboil'd there in the Pipkin of Predestinati­on, and since well read in the Sick-man's Salve and the Crums of Comfort, and liberally sed with all the Minced Meat in Divinity? Is it not pity, such a Goggle of the Eye, such a melodious Twang of the Nose, a pliable Mouth drawn awry, as if it were [...]fying the Ear in private, besides Cheverel-Lungs that will stretch as far as seventeenthly? Is it not pity, that these gallant Ingredients of Modern De­votion, which might justly have qualified you for a Tub Lecturer, and in time made your Diocess as large as that of Heidelberg; that these ineffable Parts which pass all understanding, should thus be sequestred from their Primitive Use, and of a god­ly Lancepresado in the Church Militant, be converted to a Brother of the Blade. Such a walking Di­rectory, such a zealous Roger as this, might have sa­ved more Souls than Sampson slew, and with the same Engine, the Jaw-bone of an Ass. Your Pen is coy, and you wave the Holy Ground and Holy [Page 99] Coyn with a squeamish Preterition. I am glad to hear you acknowledge there is Holy ground; for then I hope Hatcham—Barn is not as good a Congre­gation as St. Paul's. For the Holy Coyn, you must pardon me, if I suspect the Chastity of your Fingers. I am sure those of your Party have been troubled with Felons; witness the Church-Revenues, and the several Sacrileges which cannot be par'd off with your Nails: But there is another Reason why you abstain from the Idiom of the Saints. You were in hopes to retrieve your Mo­ney, and Verily, Verily, Ret never springs the Partridge. You would have your Man taken for a Tax-gatherer. Lord how the Clime alters the Man! When he was with you, he was one of the Scribes and Pharisees, and here he must pass for a Publican and Sinner. Sir, We cast up no Trench of Security, though we might have Dirt enough in your Language to do it; and yet we hope to be saved by our Works, for all the strength of your Faith, whereby you hold your selves able to re­move Mountains. For your Advice not to throw Stars at your head, I embrace it; for what need [...], so long as there is Goose-shot to be had for Mo­ [...]ey. My Wit shall be on what side Heaven you please, provided it ever be Antarctick to yours. For the appellation of Giant, I accept it, only I am [...]orry I am not he with the hundred hands, that I might so often subscribe my self,

SIR,
Your Servant I. C.

An Answer to a Pamphlet written against the Lord Digby's Speech, concerning the Death of the Earl of Strafford.

'TIS the wittiest Punishment that the Poets fan­cied to be in Hell, that one should continu­nually twist a Rope, and an Ass stand by and bite it off. I know not how this Noble Gentleman should ever deserve it, but such is his Fate; for while the Pamphleteer strives to tear his Speech, to ravel this Twist of Eloquence and Judgement, what doth he but make my Lord and himself the Moral of the Fable? The first word in his Penny­libel is ominous for a Duel. The Sand was always the Scene of Quarrelling, and so he calls the Speech. If this be Sand, I shall easily incline to Democritus his Opinion, who thought the World to be com­pos'd of Attoms, and shall be able to render a reason hereafter, why Iupiter, when he was most Oracu­lous, was called Iupiter Ammon, Iupiter of the Sand: but as Thomas Mason says, am I bound to find you Wit and History? Why the Sand? The Sand, that is, the Incoherent. You shall never take a Pamphleteer, one of these Haberdashers of small Wares, without his Videlicets, or his Utpotes. An ingeńious Metaphor needs no spokes-man to the Ap­prehension, but is entertain'd without a pimping Videlicet. A Videlicet is an Hic Canis, it argues a Bungling Writer, as that a Painter. But wherein Incoherent? Because it shews, wherein the same Man may both condemn and acquit the same Man. Why, is that such a Riddle? May not I commend [Page 101] you for a Single soul'd Rhymer, one that can Chime All-in to an Execution, and yet use the Scotch Proverb, and turn your Nose where your Arse was in point of State-policy. Though you have a pretty Faculty in Country-Tom and Cambery-bess; yet faces about in State affairs. A diverse Quatenus commends and vilifies, condemns and acquits. But a Pox of all English Logick. He hath found Idem qua idem somewhere Translated, and that's it which raises all this Dust, disturbs the Sand. Well, grant it be Sand; what becomes on't? Why, Captain Puff will blow it away. My Adversary, I perceive, has eaten Garlick, and wholly relies upon the Valour of his Breath; and indeed I question not the strength of that, I find it sufficiently in the Rankness of his Language. Cer­tainly he hath a great mind to be painted like Bore­ [...]s in the great Ship, with that ingenious [...]mpress, Sic Flo. But, hark you Gaffer; you that will tear the Speech and blow away the Sand; before you and I part, I shall so prick the Tympany of your Cheeks, and so mince your Pam­plet, that the least Sand shall be a Grave sufficient for the biggest peice of it. But, see the Prowess of our Domitian; he'l kill this Fly himself, and not with an Axe, or a Bill of Attainder. He scorns to [...]ry Clubs; he'l not oppugn it with the Votes of the Houses, with the Judges Opinions; nor are we so mad to enter the Lists of such a Comparison. But this is but one of his ordinary Solecisms. The Speech must be consider'd as when first made; then the Houses had not voted; then the Judges had [...]ot determined, and (what's as Material as any [...]hing) the Rabble had not yell'd for Justice and [Page 102] Execution then; and therefore to commit them with this Speech, what were it but to fancy a Prolepsis? to antedate Combatants, that were not yet in being? so that if any thing add to the strength of the Speech, beside its own Nerves, it is the weakness of the Confuter, not of the Reader. I make no question but your Reader is quit with you for that abuse. You say, My Lord steals his Affection; I dare purge you of that Felony: Mar­ry, if you will needs cry Guilty, it cannot amount to above Petty Larceny; so much as may ask the Banns betwixt your Shoulders and a peice of Pack­thread: for whereas you damn my Lord's Argu­ments to the Hospital; I am sure yours stand in need of Bedlam, and the wholesome Phlebotomy of a Whip, to fetch the Dog-days out of your Scull; and so, though you stand like Death over the Bel­frey, with a great Scythe comparing the Speech to Grass, the Event will disarm you of your Utensil; and in stead of a Scythe for Mowing, give you a Whetstone for Lying. Hitherto he hath been Tu­ning the strings, now he strikes up. Pray you mark the Lesson. Will you see an Argument of this Paper, and indeed a Paper-Argument? Did you ever hear the Changes better rung upon two Bells? I am perswaded the Author would dance well upon the Ropes, he keeps himself so equally poiz'd. Heads and Points; the Argument of the Paper, the Paper-Argument. Well, score up one in the Column of Quibbles. The Argument that he runs division up­on is this: It doth not appear to him by two Testimonies, that the Irish Army was to be brought over to reduce this Kingdom; Therefore the Earl of Strafford is not guil­ [...] of High Treason. Now he breaks the Neck of [Page 103] this Ergo thus: If three or four other Treasons be ob­jected and prov'd, though they be at a loss in one, this doth not straight evince his Innocence. To this Belief he will draw you (as he says) by a Comparison. Let him put himself in his Geers. Let him play his Tricks of Fast and Loose. In the Interim thus I gird up his tedious Quemadmodum. If one be tyed with three or four Cords, he is not at liberty, though one of them be loos'd, as being still bound with the rest. E­ven as, Even so. Philip writing to the Spartans, prefac'd every Sentence with If, If, If; they stu­dying their Laconical Brevity, and denying the Contents of the Letter, returned nothing but the same Monasyllable. The Objection runs in Phi­lip's fashion. If, is the Postilion of every Line; and I know not but the Answer may be as opposite. If three or four Treasons be prov'd; if he be tyed with three or four Cords; but if those Treasons prove but Misdemeanor, if those Cables be but Threads; if Sampson that was bound with them have twitch'd them in peices; then I must say your Cords come in very unseasonably, unless it be to put you in mind of your Mortality. But he dou­bles his Files. Faults in this Paper (he saith) go not alone; that's the Reason he bears the Author company to the end of his Speech; that if there be any Faults, his Answer may match them with Twin-brothers. Though this reducing the Kingdom by an Irish Army be not proved by Retail, yet 'tis Trea­son in the Lump. Rip but up the bowels of a former Testimony, and there you shall find it. His Majesty is absolv'd from all Rules of Government, and may do what Power will admit. So ho! Whither now? My Task is to justifie the Speech in what it treats, not to [Page 104] declame the Question at large. This is not to con­fute his Speech, but his Conscience that would not be convicted. I am not tyed to follow you in your Wildgoose-chase; yet I am so confident (whe­ther of the strength of the Cause, or your Weakness, I say not) that I wish you and I might plead it on a Pillory, and he that lost the day pay Ear-rent for us both. But there is danger in following an Ignis Fatuus whither it will lead you, especially when he makes up at the Throat of Majesty. He sees that Power will admit the use of an Irish Army, or any other which that Power can purchase. A Sus­picion which deserves to be answer'd with a Thun­derbolt; but 'tis out of fashion; and I am afraid I shall be laughed at, if I speak any thing in defence of the King: yet (thanks be to God) there's no great need on't. His Majesty's Vertues are his strongest Guard. A King, like a Porcupine, is a living Quiver of Darts; every Beam of Majesty is a Fulmen Terebrans to his Blaspheming Enemies. My Fellow-traveller stept aside a little to give his Brain a Stool, and now is return'd into the Road, His Lordship, he says, multiplies and is fruitful in Absurdities. 'Tis true by an equivocal Generati­on; for so he begat your Pamphlet, meeting with the putrid Matter of your Invention, as the Sun produceth Insect Animals. The Absurdity is, he hath no Notion of Subverting the Law Treaso­nable, but by Force; and here we must score up the second Quibble, for then (he says) This Argument will never subvert the Law, as having no Force. Tru­ly I am of a mind, that if my Antagonist were both to Dispute and Answer himself, he would have the best on't, and that's the Course he takes here. He [Page 105] frames an Argument where none is intended. His Lordship says he knows no other, nay and there is no other; but he doth notinfer the latter from the for­mer, therefore there is no other because he knows no other; so that this is a Brat of your own Brain, not drawn from his Lordship's Ignorance (as your scan­dalous Quill foam'd at the mouth) but from your own Impudence; and if it halt (as you say) it confesses its Father, it halts before a Creeple. You do well therefore to let Nature work to help your lame Dog over a Stile, to cast it, as you conceive, in a right Frame. There is no way of Subverting the Law but what I know; but I know no way of Subverting the Law but by forcé. You would be loath a man should say this is no Syllogism; and yet 'tis true. There's no Figure will give it a Tenement to hide its head in. I could give you a Remove now and set you upright; but I had rather you should take it asunder, and my Lord and you part Stakes; part Propositions; he the Major, you the Minor, because in the first you say there is so much Know­ledge, in the latter so much Ignorance. You see you are in a Bog; but I will throw my Cloak a­bout you, and dance you out; for lo, a most Elo­quent Si quis in quest of the Author of our Tenent. Who says this? Is it some ancient Iudge? No; I thank you as the Case goes; Or is it one that looks more into the Court than the Inns of Court? I perceive I must count Quibbles as they do Fish; thou art three; there he bounceth out with his [...] [A Young Gentle­man knows not the Law.] I do not wonder you writ it in other Characters; for 'tis a most acute Apo­thegm, (though I say it; that should not say it) and such on one as may well beseem the Rump-end of [Page 106] Licosthenes at the next Impression. But he makes a Transition from Common Law to Common Rea­son, and he hopes to be scored up for that Quar­ter-Quibble, but I cannot afford it. If nothing but Force can subvert Law, then Iudges when they pronounce false Iudgments, stop lawful Defences, let loose the Prerogative, and all that Rout of Instances which he hath rallied up, do not subvert the Law. Well, to do you a Courtesie, they do not. 'Tis one thing to stop a Pipe, to cut an Aqueduct and divert a Conveyance, and another to spoil a Spring­head. The Law in this Case suffers a Deliquium, but she is not dead. The Subversion of Laws is Root and Branch. A Castle may be dismantled, made unserviceable, and yet 'tis not said then to be quite overthrown. When you usurp'd the Chair of Logick and made a false Syllogism, were the Laws of Logick then subverted? No, but trans­gress'd; so that if our Author suffer by Injustice (as I hope you are more Historian than Prophet) he will not involve the Laws in his Ruin. Your Apostrophe to Tressilian is a true Apostrophe, for 'tis from the Cause; for will ye introduce a Parity in Offences too? Scan the Cases and you shall find them diverse. But give me leave by the way, to admire your Phrase of the Iron Laws. 'Tis a good Argument to me that there is no Alchymy, other­wise the Corruption of so many Judges, by this time had turn'd them into Gold: But my Lord must dispute again. Do you carry the Knapsack of his Arguments? My Lord hath a fine time on't, that you should feed him thus with a Spoon? 'Tis thus; The Earl of Strafford's Practices have been as high as any. The Practices of Tressilian have been as [Page 107] high as High Treason. I wonder where you got all this Logick; at Furnival's Inn? But I know the Reason of it, because Plutarch attributes Logick to a Fox, and King Iames maintains Discourse in a Hound, that's it which puts you upon Syllogisms. You would be loath to come short of any of your Fellows. For the words of the Major (which are only my Lord's, and which indeed I had as lieve he should justifie as I) you must know they are a Comparison: Now Comparisons are betwixt things of the same kind: As high as any, that is, in the rank of Misdemeanours. The Painter, when his Picture would not sell for a God, made a special Devil of it, and so he vented it. Though my Lord cannot yield, that the Earl of Strafford's Prac­tices should be sublimated into Treason; yet place them in the front of any lower Offences, and it seems he will pass it. This Similitude of mine doth not run of all four, no more must you think of that, As high as any. But to make few words; suppose I should grant you your Conclusion, that the Earl of Strafford's Practices were as high as Treason, yet if they be not specified by Statute for Treason, my Lord doth justly abstain his hand from his Dispatch. You ask how these words should sound in the Mouth of a Judge? Truly I have not the measure of your Ears, they are of too large a size for me. I being a Judge hold your Guilt to be as high as Treason; yet having no Law to give me Commission, I'll have no hand in your Sentence: so that supposing all Cases to be like this, I grant you the Assizes would be in vain; the Judges Circuit would be like the wheeling of a Mill, move continually, but never nearer their [Page 108] Journey's end: but when the Law hath provided sufficiently, unless in a Case as this extraordinary, the Vanity and Mockery, which you speak of, re­coils upon him that first discharged them. For your last, where you would have Sir Henry Vane's. Oath to be prefer'd before my Lords Suspicion, I would willingly answer as he did with Meditati­on; at the first time nothing, as much at the se­cond, and at the third Vouz avez Sir Henry Vane. You say his Oath gets an addition of Belief from the Speeches before, and from the Memorials that day; so that you imply what I dare not say, that it is not full of it self, but wants a Supplement of Credit to gain our Faith. As for the words, Re­corded whencesoever they had their Venom, it seems they were poysoned; (for to that, and not to their Pregnancy do I attribute it) that they swell'd into such a bigness, that one Testimony appear'd double: But that you should entitle Mr. Pym to this mistake, that he should look through a Multiplying Glass in a case so weighty as that of Treason; the Gentleman's known Integrity saves me the labour of his Defence. So that the Testi­monies being but such, though the Charges be ma­ny; be the Earl of Strafford as high in his Practi­ces, as it pleases my Lord to make him, yet my Lord's Dipthong, may easily be justified, and the Earl both at once Condemn'd and Sav'd. Thus I have entreated Patience of my self to Counterpuff your Pamphlet, when by the help of a Penny-worth of Pears I could (more sutably to your Defects) have confuted you backward. But I did it in hopes that you would muzzle your self hereafter; for though your Teeth be hollow and cannot bite, yet wanting Cloves they may Infect.

To the Protector after long and vile Durance in Prison.

May it please Your Highness;

RUlers within the Circle of their Government have a Claim to that which is said of the De­ity; they have their Center every where, and their Circumference no where. It is in this Con­fidence that I address to your Highness, knowing that no place in the Nation is so remote, as not to share in the Ubiquity of your Care; no Pri­son so close as to shut me up from partaking of your Influence. My Lord, it is my Misfortune, that after ten years Retirement from being engaged in the Differences of the State, having wound up my self in private Recess, and my Comportment to the Publick so inoffensive, that in all this time, neither Fears nor Jealousies have scrupled at my Actions. Being about three Months since at Nor­wich, I was fetch'd by a Guard before the Com­missioners, and sent Prisoner to Yarmouth, and if it be not a new offence to make an enquiry wherein I offended (for hitherto my Fault was kept as close as my Person) I am induced to believe, that next to my Adherence to the Royal Party, the Cause of my Confinement is the Narrrowness of my Estate; for none stand committed whose Estate can bail them. I only am the Prisoner who have no Acres to be my Hostage. Now if my Poverty be Criminal (with Reverence be it spoken) I implead your Highness, whose Victorious Arms have reduced me to it, as [Page 111] Accessory to my Guilt. Let it suffice, my Lord, that the Calamity of the War hath made us poor, do not punish us for it. Who ever did Penance for being Ravished; Is it not enough that we are strip­p'd so bare, but must it be made in order to a severer Lash? Must our Sores be engraven with our Wounds? Must we first be made Creeples, an [...] then beaten with our own Crutches? Poverty, if it be a Fault, 'tis its own Punishment, who pays more for it, pays use upon use. I beseech your Highness put some Bounds to the Overthrow, and do not pursue the chase to the other World. Can your Thunder be levell'd so low, as our Grove­ling Condition? Can your Towring Spirit, which hath quarried upon Kingdom's, make a stoop at us, who are the Rubbish of these Ruins. Methinks I hear your former Atchievements interceding with you, not to sully your Glories with trampling up­on the prostrate, nor clog the Wheel of your Cha­riot with so degenerous a Triumph. The most renowned Hero's have ever with such Tenderness cherished their Captives, that their Swords did but cut out work for their Courtesies. Those that fell by their Prowess sprung by their-Favour, as if they had struck them down, only to make them re­bound the higher. I hope your Highness, as you are the Rival of their Fame, will be no less of their Virtues. The Noblest Trophy that you can erect to your Honour, is to raise the Afflicted; and since you have subdued all Opposition, it now remains that you attack your self, and with Acts of Mild­ness vanquish your Victory. It is not long since, my Lord, that you knock'd off the Shackles from most of our Party, and by a grand Release did [Page 110] spread your Clemency as far as your Territories. Let not new Proscriptions interrupt your Jubilee. Let not that your Lenity be slandered as the Am­bush of your farther Rigour. For the Service of his Majesty (if it be objected) I am so far from excusing it, that I am ready to alledge it in my Vindication. I cannot conceit that my Fidelity to my Prince should taint me in your Opinion, I should rather expect it should recommend me to your Favour. Had we not been Faithful to our King, we could not have given our selves to be so to your Highness; you had then trusted us gratis, whereas now we have our former Loyalty to vouch us. You see, my Lord, how much I presume upon the Greatness of your Spirit, that dare prevent my Indictment with so frank a Confession, especially in this which I may so safely deny, that it is almost Arrogancy in me to own it: For the Truth is, I was not qualified enough to serve Him: All I could do was to bear a part in his Sufferings, and to give my self to be Crushed with his Fall. Thus my Charge is doubled; my Obedience to my Sove­raign, and what is the Result of that, my want of Fortune. Now whatever reflection I have upon the former, I am a true Penitent for the latter. My Lord, you see my Crimes; as to my Defence you bear it about you. I shall plead nothing in my Justification, but your Highness's Clemency, which as it is the constant Inmate of a valiant Breast, if you graciously be pleased to extend it to your Suppliant, in taking me out of this withering Du­rance, your Highness will find, that Mercy will establish you more than Power, though all the days of your Life, were as pregnant with [Page 112] Victories as your twice auspicious third of Sep­tember.

Your Highness's Humble and Submissive Petitioner J. C.

To the Earl of Newcastle.

THough to Command and Obey be the fittest Dialogue betwixt you and us; yet since your Lordship pleases to descend from your Right and only to Request, pardon us, if, by your Example, we intrench upon you, and presume upon an Answer. Sir, we are sorry our Duty is not phras'd in Action, nor can we determine, whether it was more grateful to us, that you requir'd our Service, or grievous, that at this time we could not express it; for no sooner were we inform'd of your pleasure, but so obligatory is your Will, that poysing your Let­ters with our Laws, we thought our Statutes were at Civil Wars. The Colledge, like an Indulgent Mother, entails her Preferments on her own Pro­geny. Your Lordship prefers a stranger, whom to adopt were not only to Bastard her present Issue, but disinherit all succeeding hopes. If it seem a De­linquency to be thus tender of her own, she will in­title her offence to your Lordship, who when you [Page 113] honour'd her with your Admission, taught her to set a greater price upon her Children. Thus ho­ping you will abstract our Will from our Power, we honour your Lordship, desiring that occasion may present us with some Service, whose difficul­ty may add a deeper Dye to the Observance of

The Master and Fellows of S. I.

To the Earl of Holland, then Chancellor of the University of Cambridge.

Right honourable,

YOU have rais'd us to that height by writing unto us, that we dare attempt an Answer; in which Presumption, if we have dishonoured your Lordship, you must blame your own Gentleness, [...]ike the Sun, who if he be mask'd with Clouds, may thank himself who drew up the Exhalations. Sir, they that assign Tutelar Angels, betroth [...]hem not only to Kingdoms and Cities, but to each Company. Your Goodness hovers not aloft in a general care of the University, but stoops by a pe­ [...]uliar Influence to every private College. That Omnipresence which Philosophy allots to the Soul, [...]o be every where at once through the whole Man, [Page 114] your Noble Diligence exemplifies in us. There is not the least Joynt of our Body, but in its Life and Spirits confesses the Chancellor. Nor have we in special the least share of your Favours, as ap­pears by many pregnant Demonstrations of your Love; among which this is not the meanest, that you would deign to require our Service. To of­fend against so gracious a Patron, would add a Tincture to our Disobedience; yet such is the I­niquity of our Condition, that we are forced to defer our Gratitude. We, have many in the Col­lege, whose Fortunes were at the last Gasp; and if not now reliev'd, their hopes extinct: Where­as he whom your Lordship commends, gives us farther day of Payment by his green years. He is yet but young, but the Beams of your Favour will ripen him the sooner for the like Preferment; which if it please your Lordship to antedate, by a present Acceptance of our future Obedience, We shall gladly persevere in our old Title of.

To the Earl of Westmoreland.

My Lord,

IT were high Presumption in me, not to be proud of this Occasion; and I should be no less than a Rebel to Eloquence, if your Lines you sent me had not rais'd me above my ordinary Level; so that to express my Gratitude, I must renounce my Humi­lity, and purchase one Virtue at the price of ano­ther. And well may my Modesty suffer in the Ser­vice, [Page 115] when my Reason it self is overwhelmed with the Favour. To see a Person of your Lordship's Eminency, possess'd of Nobility by a double Te­nure, both of Birth and Brain, so to bend his Greatness as to stoop to me, who live in the Vale both of Parts and Fortune; is so high an Honour, that who justly considers it, if he be not stupidly sensless, will be stupid with Extasie. I, for my part, am lost in Amazement, and it is mine Inte­rest to be so; for not knowing otherwise how to give your Present a fit Reception, it is the best of my play, to be beside my self in the Action. You see, my Lord, how I empty my self of my Native Faculty, to be ready for those of your Inspirings, as the Prophets of old in a Sacred Fury, ran out of their Wits to make room for the Deity. I shall not need hereafter to digest my Love-passions, I shall speak by Instinct: For when your Honour deign'd to visit me with your lofty Numbers, what was it else but to make me the Priest of your Lordship's Oracle; Such is the Strength and Spirit of your Fancy, that methought your Poems (like the Richest Wine) sent forth a Steam at the opening. What flowed from your Brain fum'd into mine. [...]t was almost impossible to read your Lines and be [...]ober. You, You, my Lord, are the Favourite [...]f the Muses. Your Strain is so happy, and hath [...]he Reputation for so Matchless, as if you had a [...]ouble Key to the Temple of Honour, to let in [...]our Lordship's self, and exclude Competitors. [...]t's you, my Lord, have cut the Clouds and reach­ [...]d Perfection, who having mounted the Cliff, lends an [...]and to me, who am labouring in the Craggy As­ [...]ent. So tow'ring are the Praises you please to be­stow [Page 116] on me, and my Desert so groveling, that t [...] shew you my Head is not worthy your Height, i [...] is not able to bear them; it grows giddy with the Precipice. It pains me to be on the Laste of an Hy­perbole; you do but crucifie my tender Merits, t [...] distend them thus at length and breadth. Consi­der, I pray you, that the Leanest Endowment would be plump and full, thus blown up with [...] Quill; and that there are some so Dwarfish, who [...] the Rack will not stretch to a proper man. It i [...] an excellent Breathing for a puissant Wit, to over­bear the World in the Defence of a Paradox; an [...] a good Advocate will weather out the Cause, whe [...] there is neither Truth nor Invention. I perswad [...] my self you had never undertaken to write m [...] Panegyrick, but that you saw it was to comb [...] with the Tide, and to put your Abilities to the ut­most Test in so unlikely a Subject. Little do yo [...] think what store of Opposers your Opinion wi [...] breed you; for though you be so powerful in th [...] Art of Perswasion, that should you turn Apostat [...] there would need no more but to toll the Bell fo [...] Religion; yet this is an Heresie where you stan [...] alone, and like Scaeva in the Breach, with your sin­gle Valour duel an Army. Now, my Lord, I [...] be not mistaken, I have found the Motive that in­duced you to oblige me; you are tyed by your Or­der to give Protection to the weak and Succourless So I must change my Addresses, and thank you Reb Ribband for my Commendations. Such, a [...] so many are the Flowers of Rhetorick you ha [...] heap'd upon me, that I run the hazard of the O­lympick Victor, who was stiffed with Posies ca [...] upon him in approbation of his Worth; which Fr [...] [Page 117] grant Fate, if I should sustain, what is there more to make me enamour'd of Death, but that the same Flowers should strew my Corps in a Funeral Ora­tion? Could you think (my Lord) that your sup­pressing your Name was able to conceal you, when it is easie to wind you by your Phrase? The Sweet­ness of the Language discover'd the Author, like that Roman Senator, who hiding himself in time of Proscription, his Persumes betray'd him. But [...] shall not arrest your Lordship too far with a far­ther Interruption. My Lord, you have Enobled me with your Testimony, and I shall keep your Paper as the Diploma of my Honour. Yet give me [...]eave to tell you, that among all the Epithets you [...]ile so Artificially to raise my Fame, there is one [...]anting to accomplish my Ambition, and that [...]hich I beseech your Lordship I may enjoy for the [...]uture; that is, to be esteem'd

SIR,
Your Honour's &c.J ohn Cleveland.

A Letter to a Friend disswading him from his Attempt to marry a Nun.

THough no man's Arms can be opened wider to receive you on shore, and give you possession of [...]s Breast; yet I know not, whether with the usual [Page 118] Complement, I may welcome you home, as doubt­ing your Country may have mewed that Relati­on in so long an Absence; she having exposed her Noble Issue, being Conviction enough to make you disclaim her. Besides, there is such a new Face of things since your Departure, that what was for­merly the Character of the Inhabitants, is now the Kingdom's, To be a Stranger at home: Insomuc [...] as were you design'd for a second Journey, it migh [...] be a part of your business to travel other Countries i [...] quest of your own. Indeed she is such an Alien i [...] her Look, that most of her Off-spring dare not as [...] her Blessing. Her Countenance is not Denizon o [...] her self: You would think she were some Floating Island, that had made a Voyage only to truck fo [...] an outlandish Visage. Some who have spell'd he [...] Lineaments say she copies out the Dutch, and t [...] make good the Parallel, they doubt not to instan [...] in our Hogan Governours. It is in a broke [...] Kingdom, as in a crack'd Looking-glass, where in­stead of one Face, that Monarch-like should repre­sent the whole, you may have Variety of lesse ones glimmering in its room, and the Aspects o [...] all of them fierce and frowning. Well then a Fo­reigner she is, and her Complexion borrow'd; [...] that as our new Philosophers would have th [...] Earth to move, and the Heavens to stand still, th [...] same may be said of this State of ours, and th [...] Royal Train that you were part of. It was th [...] Kingdom wandered, not you that left it, You a [...] fix'd, and England in Exile. When a Country ree [...] from its setled posture, there is no Defection i [...] him that quits it; it having first abandoned it sel [...] In this case, though it be a Fallacy in the Sense, [...] [Page 119] holds good in Reason, that the shore moves and falls off from the Sayler; whence you see, Sir, there is some possibility I might reverse your Tra­vels, were it not for one Argument which abun­dantly confirms them, The sage Experience you have treasur'd up in your Observations; for no sooner had you lost your Native Soil, but by way of Reprisal you took in others. The Dominions you visit you carry along with yóu, and by a Victo­rious Industry make them pay Tribute to your Understanding. Not like a number of our Roar­ing Gallants, who return so empty and without their Errand, as if their Travel (like Witches in the Air) were nothing but the Waftage of a de­luded Phantasie, perswading themselves that they circle the Globe, when the Card they sail by, is no­thing else but a slumbring Imposture. But me­thinks we are too Grave, Sir. What if we unbend a while, and presume to tell you, that in all your Errantry there is no Adventure so much affects me, as that of the Nun; where I cannot determine, whether your Love it self were more Exotick, or the form of accosting it: For although it be natu­ral for Jealousie to study Fornication, and every Cuckold within his own Precincts to be an Engi­neer; yet never before have I heard of a Mistress fenc'd with a Portcullice, or an amorous Visit manag'd with the Caution, which suspicious Kings use in an Enterview. This manner of Greeting may not unfitly be termed Cupid's Barriers; a breathing Exercise, rather than a Combat, where the Sporting Champions have a Rail to part them, that they may not fight it out to the uttermost. Had your old Romancing Spirit possess'd you, [Page 120] the Brandish'd Blade would have freed the Lady from her Enchanted Durance. Nor had you been less concern'd in the Rescue than the Fair Recluse; for who that blows short in expectation of his Love, and in the Heat of Impatience, should be severed from his Hopes by a few envious Barrs, would not feel himself (like another St. Laurence) broil'd on a Gridiron? But see how Customs vary with the Clime. As there are some Regions who salute one another, by putting off their Shoes instead of their Hats; so it seems, where you have been, there is as different a form of Imprisonment or Commitment. The Prisoner is at large and without the Grates, wishing for Admittance, and she at whose Suit his Soul is arrested, close clap'd up and abridg'd of Liberty. Sure at this Grate those Chrisom Lovers, call'd Platonicks, had their first Training. Those Queasie Gamesters that di­et themselves with the very Notion of Mingling Souls, without putting the Body to farther Bro­kage, than kissing of Hands and twisting of Eye­beams. For your part, Sir, you are none of those puling Stomachs: You have an Appetite for a whole Cloister. It is but Trifling Sport for you to pull down an Out-lyer, unless you leap the Pale and let slip at the Herd. I wonder what Exor­cisms the Abbess us'd to get quit of the Incubus; for had she not check'd your Hovering Temptations, I am confident by this time you had transform'd the Covent, and turn'd the Nunnery into a Seraglio. But in sober Sadness, why a Nun, Sir? How came you out of the Active Torrent into that Solitary Creek? Princes seldom Treat of Matches, but in foraign Dominions. Your Affection takes greater [Page 121] State, as fixing upon one of another World. Had your Passion been centred on the Beauty of her Soul, I had look'd upon it as the Act of your Con­version. Such a Love might justly have been Christned by the name of Zeal, being setled on a Person, with whom to be enamour'd is in a sort to take Orders. Hence it is, there want not some who suspect your Religion, lest equivocating from the Beauty of her Person to that of her Profession, you should turn Monastick. Others, who are better acquainted with the warmth of your Tem­per, are rather solicitous for the Church in Gene­ral, lest with Luther you should marry a Nun, and so with him make her a Joynture in a new Religi­on. If this be your Plot, Consider, I pray you, how difficult it is to innovate farther in this Age of Novelties, when the World is so spent in new Inventions, that for want of Gain, even Rust and Rottenness are flourished over with a seeming Ver­dure. Not one of all those Beldam-Heresies that did Penance formerly by the Doom of the Anci­ents, but hath cast her Skin since these Confusions, and giveth her self out for a Blooming Virgin. But I think I may spare this piece of Counsel, I dare be your Compurgator for meddling with Religion. That which fir'd your Spirits was the Ambition of the Enterprize; nor could you entertain a more Aspiring Phrensie, but by making Love to a Glori­fied Body. Tell me, I pray you, how many Beads did you drop in Wooing? By what Liturgy did you frame your Courtship? Laick Applications are here scandalous; nor will it avail to say, you languish without her Compassion. A Sensual Man is able to vitiate the Vestal Flame, even by his [Page 122] Martyrdom; other Lovers in the Jollity of their Trope are wont to canonize their Mistresses, as being of opinion that the Native Rubrick of their Cheeks hath hallowed them. Will you run Coun­ter to that Consecration, and degrade a Saint by Mortal Addresses? If you have no room in your Calendar for Persons upon Earth, yet do not pro­fane a Probationer of Heaven; as if the readiest way to rectifie Superstition, were, with our Mo­dern Reformers, to bow it into Atheism. Let me advise you, Sir, to retrieve your self back from this Carnal Sacrilege. Catch not at Herostratus his Fame, by setting fire on the Temple, and dispute not a share of Guilt with Lucifer, in causing a se­cond Fall of Angels. Nay, never start, Sir, not look about at the Expression: For I perswade my self, that those Divines who allot to each of us a Tutelar Angel for our Protection, would not pre­judice their Opinion, should they leave her to her own Tuition; as hardly knowing in such a Person, how to distinguish between the Charge and the Guardian. Sir, I was entreated by our Noble Friend, that what my Fancy suggested upon this Subject, I would mould into Number; but I must beg your pardon, it being a Request with which to comply were to be your Fellow-criminal, and by a Conformity of Guilt pervert a Votary: For even my Muse is vow'd and vail'd too, she is set apart for the Service of my Mistress, and what is that but entring Orders in the true Religion. The Truth is this; she is so chastly confin'd to that sole Employment, that should I in Verse attempt to yield you an account how much I honour you, not a whole Grove of Laurel would bribe her to a [Page 123] Distich: Whereas in Transitory Prose, were I a Master of all those Languages, which I make no question but you have gain'd by your Travels, I should hold them all too few to give you sufficient Assurance that I am,

SIR,
Your most Faithful Servant J. C.

The Piece of a Common-Place upon Romans the 4th. Last Verse.
Who was delivered for our Offences, and rose again for our Iustification.

THE Athenians had two sorts of Holy Myste­ries, two distinct times, November and Au­gust, for their Celebration: But when King Deme­trius desir'd to be admitted into their Fraternity, and see both their Solemnities at once, the People past a Decree, that the Month March, when the King requested it, should be call'd November, and after the Ceremonies due to that Month were fi­nished, it should be translated to August; and so at the second return of this new Leapuyear, they ac­complished his Request. Two greater Mysteries are the parts of my Text, the Passion and the Re­surrection; several times appropriate for either [Page 124] Good Fryday as Easter. But as the Athenian De­cree made November and August meet in March, so give me leave by a less Syncope of Time, to contract Good Fryday and Easter both to a day, as the Passi­on and Resurrection are both in my Text; Who was delivered for our Offences, &c. And I may the ra­ther link them both on a day, because the Text is willing to admit some Resemblance. The Even­ing and the Morning make the day, saith the Ho­ly Spirit; the Method of my Text observes as much: Here is the Evening, the Passion, when our Saviour strip'd himself of those Rags of Morta­lity, and lay down in the Bed of Corruption, where he stays not long; but the Morning breaks in the Resurrection, when this Corruptible shall put on Incor­ruption, and this Mortal shall put on Immortality. So then my Text is a Day from Sun to Sun, Soles occi­dere & redire possunt, from the Sun-set of his Passion to the Sun-rise of his Resurrection.

The Dew of his Birth is as the Dew of the Morning, There is a Morning-Dew, and there is an Evening Dew; the Evening Dew, the Tears that are shed at the Sun's Funeral, and they may justly decypher the Passion; the Morning-Dew, the Tears of Joy and Welcome at his new Return; and what is that but a Transcript of the Resurrection?

My Discourse then must be changeable, compos'd of a Cloud and a Rain-bow.

Nocte pluit tota——

A Deluge of Grief showers down in the Passion, but the Waters will cease, and the Dove will re­turn with a Leaf in her mouth,

[Page 125] —Redeunt Spectacula mane,

Nothing but Joy and Triumph, Pomp and Page­ants at the Resurrection. But methinks St. Paul puts new Cloth into an old Garment, mends the Rent of the Passion with the Resurrection. Can the children of the Bride-chamber weep while the Bridegroom is with them? While the Resur­rection is in the Text, who can tune his Soul to lament his Passion; again, by the Waters of Babylon is no singing the Songs of Sion. When Grief hath lock'd up the Heart with the story of the Passion, what Key of Mirth can let in the An­them of the Resurrection? Different Notes you see, and yet wee'l attempt an Harmony. Bassus and Altus, a Deep Base that must reach as low as Hell to describe the Passion, and thence re­bound to a joyful Altus, the high-strain of the Re­surrection.

I begin with the Evening, and so I may well style the Passion, since the Horrour thereof turn'd Noon into Night, and made a Miracle maintain my Metaphor. The Sun was obscur'd by Sympa­thy, and his Darkness points us to a greater E­clipse. The Sun and the Moon, what are they but Parables of our Saviour, and the Soul of Man? The Moon is the Soul; I am sure her Spots will not confute the Similitude. I might here slacken the Reins of my Comparison, and shew you how the Moon of her self is a dark Body, and what Light she partakes, she receives it from the Sun [Page 126] at second hand. How every Soul is by Nature sinful, and in the Shadow of Death, till the Light that lightens the Gentiles, till the day-spring on high visit us. I might pursue my Allegory in the Eclipse. The Shadow of the Earth intercepts the Beams of the Sun, and so the Moon suffers an Eclipse. Plea­sure and Profit, those two Dugs of the World, what are they but Earthly shadows that Eclipse the Soul, and deprive it of the sweet influence of the Sun of Righteousness. But I hold me to the Metaphor, my Téxt will warrant the Parallel. As the Moon is Eclipsed by the Earth, so she her self Eclipses the Sun. The Soul is not only sinful but makes God suffer; [...] is a Physick­word, and signifies the Labour of a Disease. Cure thy self, and there will be no Eclipse in him: Ap­ply but Salve to thy self, and thou'lt heal the Wounds that thy Sins have made. Passus est Deli­quium propter Delicta nostra. Deliquium and Delictum proceed both from a Root. He had never been delivered unto Death, but for the Goal-delivery of our Offences. See the Difference betwixt God's and Man's Eclipse. Man's sets God and him at odds; God's reconciles them. The Moon when she is Eclipsed, is always in Opposition with the Sun. The Soul will sin, though she be at En­mity with God for't: But the Sun, when he is E­clipsed, is always in Conjunction with the Moon. God will be Friends with Man, though he purchase the Union with his Passion, and seal the Covenant with his own Blood. But that all things which con­cern the Passion may be miraculous, wee'l proceed in Method, and restrain that to Order and Distincti­on, which put Nature out of Frame, and threat­ned [Page 127] the World with Confusion. Consider then my Text, like the Veil of the Temple rent in [...]wain [...] and [...], He was delivered for our Offen­ [...]es; nay 'tis rent from top to th'bottom; the same parts will serve for the Resurrection, He rose again for our Iustification.

And well may my Text be divided by the Tem­ple, since our Saviour shadowed both parts of it under that Notion. I will destroy this Temple, and within three days I will build it again. And now I be­gin with Simon of Cyrene, to bear his Cross, and labour, as he did, under the burthen. The Death of the Cross, all the Languages upon it cannot ex­press it: But we see the Sun better by looking into the Waters, than by affronting his Beams. The only way to comprehend the Sufferings of our Creator, is by feeling the Pulse of the Creature. What shall I say to the Convulsion of the Rocks? The Lapidary tells you, how the Compassionate Turcoise confesseth the Sickness of his Wearer by changing colour. The whole Rocks suffered with our Saviour, they were cleft; and shall not this rend our stony hearts? O that Deucalion's Men were not now a Fable! Caucasus is supple in com­parison of our Breasts. Marble can weep, whilst we are Pumices. Moses his Rod will sooner fetch a River out of a Rock, than a Tear from a Rebel­lious Sinner. The Earthquake is the next Mira­cle. Tremble thou Earth at the presence of the Lord, at the presence of the God of Iacob. She tottered un­der the Burden of so great a Sin. She had lost the Author of her being, and so might well be struck with a dead Palsie. 'Tis a good Observation of Aristotle, that among all the absurd Opinions of [Page 128] the old Philosophers; who held the Soul to be Fire; some Air, some Water; none ever had so gross a Soul, as to conceive it to be Earth. O that in this case we were Earthy-minded! That we were affected with this Religious Palsie! Then should we see that Motus Trepidationis, the Motion of the Heavens as well as the Earth. We must work out our Salvation with fear and trembling. But the Earth hath quaked so long till it hath awaken­ed the Dead: nor is it a wonder that the Dead live, when Life it self can dye. Heaven descends into the Bowels of the Earth, and, to make up the Anagram, the Graves open and the Dust ariseth. Thus were all things shuffled, and Nature rung the Bells backwards, as if every Creature desir'd to bear the Burden of our Saviour's Elegy. Atten­dite & videte—Behold and see, if ever there was sorrow like unto my sorrow. Cyrus to be reveng'd of a River cut it into so many Channels, that it lost its Name. This is the way to allay a Grief, to di­vide it into so many streams, to pour it into other Bosoms; but even this is denied to our Saviour. The Sons of Zebedee do not now petition to drink his Cup: They would not now be one on his right hand, another on his left; no, he is crucified be­twixt two Thieves. The Quality of his Compa­nions augments his Misery. He was born among Beasts, and doth he not dye so too? Man without Understanding is like unto a Beast that perisheth. Betwixt two Thieves. You see Vice to Vertue is two to one: Vertue is in the Centre, Vice in the Circumference; vast is the Circuit; Universus or­bis, the whole World lies in Wickedness, whilst Ver­tue, like the Centre, is but an Imaginary Point. [Page 129] Thieves, and well too, Barabbas was too good for him now; mark but their Election; Not him, [...]ut Barabbas. But methinks his Crown might command a Distance; but 'tis a Crown of Thorns: And if you consider well the Troubles annexed to [...] Crown, it may seem a Tautology. Every Crown [...]s a Crown of Thorns. See here Cruelty Quarter­ [...]ng her Arms with Division. Pseudo-Philippus, [...]hat Counterfeit of the Macedonian King, when [...]e was taken by the Romans, had so much honou­ [...]able Calamity indulg'd unto him; Quod de eo tan­ [...]uam de vero Rege triumpharetur. They Crown [...]im, but 'tis for Sacrifice. They never acknow­ [...]edge him King of the Jews, till upon the Cross, [...]hat so his Title might set off his Misery.

The Answer to the Newark-Summons.

BUT that it argues a greater Courage to pass the Test of a Temptation uncorrupted, than [...]ith a timorous Vertue to decline the Trial; so [...]alous is this Maiden Garrison of sullying her [...]oyalty, that she had return'd your Summons [...]ithout perusal. Which rebound of your Let­ [...]r, as it were a laudable Coyness to preserve her [...]tegrity; so it is the most compendious Answer [...] what you propound. For I hope you intend it [...]ther as a Mode and Formality to preface your [...]sign, than with expectation of an Issue sutable [...] your Demands. You cannot imagine this un­ [...]nted Newark, which hath so stoutly defended [Page 130] her Honour against several intended Rapes, should be so degenerous from her Virgin Glory, as to ad­mit the Courtship of either your Rival Nations. Having therefore received a Letter subscribed with Competition of both Kingdoms, she wonders not at your busie endeavour to divert her Trent, since the Thames and Tweed with equal Ambition would crowd into her Channel. Which Letter, since it proceeded from a Committee, and was directed after the same Garb, as to a Committee-Gover­nour, by putting the Gentlemen and Corporation in equal Commission (though the joyning us toge­ther was with Intention to divide us) I shall in sa­tisfaction of yours, unanimously desire you to re­flect upon the King's Letter, lately sent to both Houses of Parliament; where, in a full Comply­ance with all their Desires upon the softest Terms, and gentlest Conditions that ever Prince propoun­ded, he offers to disband all his Forces, and disman­tle his Garrisons. To what end then do you de­mand that of the Steward, whereof the Lord and Master makes a voluntary Tender? In vain [...] you court the Inferiour Streams, when the Spring­head prevents your expectation. It is our Duty to trace his Commands, not to outstrip them. S [...] that if Honour and Conscience would permit th [...] Delivery, meer Manners would retard us, lest b [...] an over-reaching speed we frustrate his Majesty [...] Act of Grace, and antedate his Royal Disposa [...] I shall wave the Arguments, wherewith you ende [...] ­vour to evince our Consent. I am neither to [...] stroak'd into an Apostacy, by the mention of fai [...] Conditions in a misty Notion: Nor to be scar'd i [...] to Dishonour, by your running Division on the Fa [...] [Page 131] of Chester. For as I an no Huckster in the War, to measure my Allegiance by my Interest for the former; so I disdain that Poverty of Spirit, by a Resemblance of Chester to be executed in Picture. I shall be Loyal without that Copy, and I hope ne­ver to be the Transcript of their Calamity. You may do well, Gentlemen, to use your Fortune modestly, and think not that God Almighty doth uphold your Cause by reason of your Victories; perchance he fattens it with present Success for a [...]iper Destruction. For my part I had rather em­brace a Wrack floating upon a single Plank, than [...]mbarque in your Action with the fullest Sails, to [...]ance upon the Wings of Fortune. Whereas you [...]rge the expence of the Siege, and the pressures of the Country in supporting your Charge, there [...] confess I am touched to the quick: But their Mi­ [...]eries, though they make my Heart bleed, must [...]ot make my Honour. My Compassion to my Country must not make me a Paricide to my Prince. Yet in order to their ease, if you will grant me a [...]ass for some Gentlemen to go to Oxford, that I [...]ay know his Majesty's pleasure, whether, [...]ccording to his Letter, he will wind up the Busi­ [...]ess in general, or leave every Commander to steer [...]is own Course, then I shall know what to deter­ [...]ine. Otherwise I desire you to take notice, [...]hat when I received my Commission for the Go­ [...]ernment of this place, I annex'd my Life as a Label [...]o my Trust.

Oratio in Scholiis Publicis habita cum juni­nior Baccalaureus in Tripodem disputaret Cantab.

QUos ne videre possum citra, oculorum hyperbolen, quomodo vos compellarem? Et cum altissimus vester gradus sine scalâ occupari nequeat, quaenam Ora­tionis Climax vestram scandet dignitatem; Vestram dum suspicio in meo vultu invenio purpuram; & ingeniis curae quae praestandae observantiae me habet solicitum, no [...] novi subtilius argumentem quam stuporem. Quod au­tem Poetarum Princeps Deorum Senatum cogit ad suam Batrachomyomachiam, pari audacia liceat & mihi vo [...] ad ludicrum hoc certamen nostrum invitare. Umbr [...] est haec nostra contentio & Icon belli. Murium & R [...] ­narum pugna, quid aliud quàm Iliadis Brachygraphia! & in Pusillis istis animalibus Hector & Achilles (tan­quam Iliades in nuce) coarctantur. Ea siquidem e [...] pensi nostri conditio; ut hic etiam Mars & Venus im­plicati jacent. Pugna est, sed ludicra; Ludus, & tamen bellicus; ita ut nec bis cincta placeat Philosophia; nec nuda Cytherea. Qui virili toga indutus, nec dum reliquit nuces, sed totus jocos crepat, hujus eg [...] Palladem posthumam cerebri sui prolem existima [...] Qui in hisce Floralibus solus Cato, & inter Philosophi [...] spinas nullos admittit Rhetoricae flores, hujus Miner­va (ad Amazonis instar) alterâ mammâ destituiti [...]. Ille demum sit noster Miles, qui & sese praestet ingenii Velitem, & Philosophiae Cataphractum; qui & virili­ter audet disputare, & pueriliter cum Bipede Tripod [...] par impar ludere. Me quod spectat ita rationem a [...] agendum subduxi meam, ut utrinque munus moliar & [Page 133] subterfugiam, & pudibunda metum inter & officium Musa, & fugit ad salices, & videri cupit.

Oratio Salutatoria in Adventum Illustrissimi Principis Palatini.

Serenissime Comes Palatine.

SI Archetypam corporis vestri elegantiam possem trans­cribere, & Orationem meam tanquam venustatis Metaphoram à vestro vultu deducere, ita Imaginem vestram aemulis encomiis exprimerem, ut qui spectatum venias, venires spectandus & unicum esset Iohannen­se spectaculum teipsum tibi ostentare. Sed quoniam ad hosce solares radios caligat penitus Atheniensis Noctua, gratulor mihi meam inertiam, stuporem jacto: Ita enim cum Sacratissimo Principe in trutinâ quadam collocatus sum, ut in quantum me deprimit mea humilis facultas, in tantum sursum nititur vestra sublimitas. Salve igi­tur, desideratissime Princeps, hujus Collegii Anima, vel potius omnium animarum Collegium; ita tibi singuli devoti sumus, & in obsequium vestrum juncta phalange omnes ruimus. Ecce tibi Majorum tuorum Monumenta! Margaretae cocta maenia, quae Semiramis invideat Margaretae! Henrici Septimi, & nostrûm omnium Matris; quae uno partu enixa est quot Herculem fabu­lantur genuisse, quinquaginta Socios. Nec Tibi, Stem­matique vestro solam Margaretam, debemus, quin & paternae gloriae haeres esto; Fredericum volo beatissimae memoriae, qui viginti abhinc plus minus annis, una [Page 134] cum Augustissimo Carolo tunc temporis surgente Iulo, ad hanc Margaretae Sobolem, quasi Compaires d [...] & Susceptores accesserunt. O quam laeti meditamur istum natalem nostrum diemque adeo festum, ut muros hosce sacro quodam minio pinxisse videatur! Ecquid huic foelicitati superesse possit? Possit, ut quod Patris splendore semel tinctum vestro olim foret Dibaphum, Sequerisque Patrem [...]am passibus aequis. Euge specic­sum Principem! in quo omnium legimus Simulachra Autographa; Margaretae nostrae Palladium Frederici Patris Numisma aureum & Matris Corneliae Orna­mentum, Elizabethae dulcissimae, & in vestro vul [...] totam Deam confessae; cujus laudes ut hodiernum sae [...] ­lum effundi [...], ita Posteritatis Echo reparabit: cujus mase [...]la anima jam sexu vestitur masculo, Elizabetha Carolo. Carolo! O quam luxuriat dicendi Seges! Quam decies repeti [...]s placebit Carolus! Carolus Ca­roli Sobrinus & Caroli Avunculus. O Beatissi [...] Carolorum Climax▪ Macte esto gradibus Caroli [...] [...], ut cum p [...] [...] suâ supremus Rex Carolus Coelos scandat, novi subinde succrescant Caroli, qui­bus, quasi internodus distincta ejus aeternitas usq [...] & usque floreat; sic ipse sibi supe [...]stes Carolus, no [...] hominum (parum illud Nestoris) sed Carolorum [...] [...]ates vivat, Filii, [...], [...] Caroli.

A [...] Regem & Principem in Colleg. Iohan.

QU A [...] obriguit Academia, tanq [...] orba [...] Ni [...]s [...] saxea, si in pristinam Fa­cundiam resolvatur hodie agnoscit omen vestrae Praesen­tiae. [Page 135] Memnonis statua solaribus percussa radiis vocalem Musicam dedisse fertur: habent vel hi Parietes Chor­das Magicas, quas minima vultûs vestri strictura, qua­si plectro anim [...]it. Nec magis eloquuntur Lapides, quàm è diametro miraculi stupent Oratores. Quod in afflatis Numine fieri videmus; ita Deum recipere ut ejiciant Hominem, instinct [...] sapere, non intellectu; perinde vestra in nobis hospitatur Divinitas, cujus ni­mius splendor omnes omnium sensus sacrificat, & tam sanctam nostri jacturam in lucro deputamus. Ignosci­mus jam Fatis immodestiam suam, imminens Literarum exit [...]um ut favoris insidias gratulamur: scilicet, ambi­tiosae moriuntur Musae, quae ad vestros pedes efflabanut Vale. Lusit Archimedes Coelos in Sphaera? quid ni dicam Jovem in Carolo fabricatum? Adeo ut Orator ille qui, manu deorsum flexâ, O Coelum exclamavit, si istum ad modum perorâsset hodie, Soloecismum man [...] non commisisset. Enimvero cum Regem Optimum Maximum & Principem simul astantes videam, nescio quomodo Principis Natalis videatur redux; ubi Solem & Stellam fulgentes à Symbolis (licet non equis radiis) conspicati sumus. Caesare mortuo novum in coelis emi­cuit sydus, quod Julii Anima passim audiit. Caesaris Epilogus fuit Prologus Caroli; neque enim aptior Stel­la, quam Invictissima illius Herois Anima, quae vestrae soboli res gerendas ominaretur. Stellam dixi? Muto factum; crederem potius ipsum Solem fuisse, qui tunc temporis tibi religavit moderamen Diei, & ut Princi­pis cunas fortius videret, suum in stellam Contraxit ocu­lum. Ecce ut patrissat Carolus! ut ad vestras Virtu­tes anhelus surgit! Quod sub pientissimo Rege accidisse legimus Solem multis gradibus retro ferri, Principis atas pari portento conpensavit damnum, cujus festina virtus devorat Horologium, & Pueritia nondum libatâ [Page 136] Meridiem attigit. Parcatur mihi, si turgeat Oratio; si nihil praeter Solem & Stellas crepet; quippe in Princi­pis Natali ipsa Natura mihi praeivit Allegoriam. O foelicem interim Academiam, & Eternitatem quandam nactam! quae in Rege & Principe, & esse nostrum, & nostrum fore simul complectitur. Non est quod plu­ra expectentur saecula; viximus & nostram & postero­rum vitam. Sed vereor ne molestus fuerim importuno officio, quod in tam illustri praesentiâ in nescio quid ma­jus piaculo excrescit. Minima coram Rege Errata, tan­quam angustiores rimae, extenduntur lumine. Oratio itaque nostra pro genio temporum reformabitur, vel, quod tantundem est, rescindetur. Hoc unicum praefa­bor votum; Vivas Augustissime, Pietas tuorum & Tremor Hostium. Vivas, vel in hoc declivio, Litera­rum Stator. Vivas denique eam indutus gloriam, [...] Filium tuum Carolum appellemus Maximum, quia solo Patre minorem.

Oratio habita ad Legatum quendam Galli­cum, & Hollandiae Comitem, tunc tem­poris Academiae Cancellarium.

QUam Augusta sit vestra Praesentia, & quam sacro horrore nostros percellit animos, utinam Ora­toris vestri stupor non ita nimis testaretur. Quem enim alacritas officii modo accenderat ut vos salutarem, im­pedit jam eadem Religione in illas aures importunus rue­rem inquilinus, ubi Regum consilia habitarunt. Nec magis all [...]qui quam intueri nefas. Fulgura sunt in amborum oculis, quorum splendorem si quis aspiceret, bidental fieret. Si quis Persarum, qui veneratur Solem, vos intueretur, utrumque ratus Numen, suum divide­ret sacrificium. Nos quod attinet, fatemur lippitudine radiorum victoriam, & hoc geminum honoris jubar im­bellis nostra acies eo magis commendat, quo minus susti­neat. Salve igitur, Celeberrime Hospes, cujus gra­tissimi adventus, ut capacia essent nostra pectora, mag­nitudo gaudii nosipsos à nobis exclusit for as. Ecce quot Helluones oculi vos inspicimus! Quot in vestris vulti­bus Quadragesimam violamus! Sed nos indigui tantis dapibus. Margareta, & Regii illi Manes, quos in Fundatoribus nostris numeramus, per me, tanquam per Legatum suum (ut Titulo vestro superbire liceat) Adventum vobis gratulantur. Nec invideas mihi, cla­rissime Advena, Legati nomen; nam cum Celsitudo vestra ad gradum meum (quem suscepisti modo) dig­naretur descendere, Humilitas nostra (quod in bilance solet) ad vestrum apicem assurgebat. Scholas vidisti & illud unicum Sacellum, quorum alteri docu­isti Literas, alteri Pietatem. Et quid amplius studes [Page 138] apud nos invisere? Eccum Academiam integram, Can­cellarium dignissimum, qui quicquid Cantabrigia no­stra complectitur plenius epraesentat. Theatra & Scholarum Pyramides nos ludibundi Vitruvii aedificamus in chartis. Tu, Tu Architectus fortunae nostrae, cujus Magnificentia vel Pictoris nostri audaciam super abi [...] Multus sum, Honoratissime Orator, in Cancellar [...] debitissimis laudibus, ut scias qualis Heros, quantus aliorum Patronus honori v [...]stro bodie inserviat. Certè dum vos Majorum Gentium Nobiles simul adstantes videam; Nescio quis Isthmus videatur Galliam & Britanniam (inviro Oceano) conjunxisse. Q [...] perpetuus sit ille Regionum nodus, & ita Gordianus, ut neuter Alexander discindat gladio. Plura vellem, & usque pergeret votorum pietas, sed victus diviti argu­mento plusquam Demosthenis Anginam patior. Qua­re si aures vestras, Regibus assuetas, nimis detinendo sacrilegus fuerim; si quid deliquerim, hoc saltem sit subitae Orationis pro [...]ga temeritas; ut nè paratus ad peccandum prodiisse videar.

Oratio habita cum unus è Prelectoribus, de­ficiente Termino, pensum (pro more) imponeret.

HOdiernus intravi (Iuvenes Academici) tanquam Cato Floralia, ut exirem tantum. Conveni­mus fateor, sed ut dissiliamus: Siquidem hoc est longum Vale moribundi Termini, qui nollet (ut Iuridici lo­q [...]ntur) intestatus mori. Sed singulis vestrum Lega­tum tribuit, & ejusdem cerae cohaeredes reddit. Penso igitur vobis erit Aristotelis Liber primus de Anima Conscriptus. Et quidem vos scio unam vel alteram Authoris paginam posse transcribere: hoc autem à vo­bis non expeto. Neque est ut expectarem, ut Heauton­timorumenos & miserè Absyrtos veteres Philosophos in Cruciatus denuò redigatis. Ruente Quercu vel qui­libet Homuncio ligna colliget. Illius autem animosior est Spiritus, qui è triumphantis Philosophi Faucib [...]s eri­piat, & eorum aliquem sub Clientela sua patrocinetur. Obsoleta ista Democriti, vel etiam Thaletis opinio ingenio Vestro fiat Authentica. Neque tamen in ullas angustias vos redigam. Universas Naturae Panaectas habeatis vobis usurarias. Modo etiam placuerit, (eru­diti Iuvenes) liceat vobis leviter perstringere, & ex­esa ista Philosophorum Placita risui exponere. Quod si ita iis contigerit occumbere, habent quod Fatis imputent. Stuporem jactent, atque impotentiam suam in lucro pos­sunt deputare: Si pereant manibus vestris periisse juvabit.

Oratio habita in Scholis publicis cum Patris officio fungeretur.

QUam aequivocum sit Patris nomen, quota & quam discolor officii ratio, si non aliunde, ab hac va­ria frequentia (Severiores viri & Lepidissima proles) possem dignoscere? Si enim ad singula Auditorum inge­nia quiliber Orator componendus sit, ita ut cum Senibut t [...]ssiat, rideat cum pueris; quid ego hominis? Quale futurus sum Monstrum, gravitute & nucibus, Patre & puero interpunctum? Quod in dispertita & expan­sa Aquila fieri videmus unum corpus duplicem ostentare faciem: eadem est nostra ergo vos & filios bifrons con­ditio. Hos cum aspicio, sum senex Aquila pullos meos ad vestrum jubar exploratura; ubi vos è contra, nescio quomodo ipse in pullum redeo, & ad instar Aquilae ju­ventutem renovo. Duae igitur Dramatis personae susti­nendae sunt; vestrâ in scenâ acturus sum Filium, in vestrâ Patrem, alterum genu flexum, alterum stabit Elephantinam, oscillatione, quod aiunt, Ludam. Superam modo, modo inferam occupanbo partem; partim Senex, partim Puer, qualis Aethon ille in Aheno Me­deae semicoctus. Et quae quidem aptior via inveniri poterat, quam per ferulam ad fasces, per Filii scabellum ad culmen Patris assurgere? Serviendum ut imperes, Aulicorum methodus; à Vitulo ad Taurum Milonis progressus. Vobis igitur, Viri Gravissimi, primitiae nostrae sunt consecrandae; quod si nullo, vel, quod pe­rinde est, tralatitio tantum honore prosequerer, non di­co causam, quin filii mei improbitate erga me pari, in­juriam vestram ulciscantur. Neque tamen interea nos­cimus quali vos compellemus nomine, quorum Eruditio scribit Academiae Maritos, obsequium malit Filios. [Page 141] Perplexus fuit & tortuosus ille incesti nodus, quem de Oedipo suo fabulatur Graecia; major Maeander unus­quisque vestrûm, quorum eruditione cum Alma Mater gravida fiat, & quotannis parturiat; quorum praecep­tis & exemplari virtute; cum tenella pubes (quasi bi­nis uberibus) lactetur indies; non Oedipus majoricum aenigmate sceleratus, quam quilibet vestrum pius: Ma­tris Maritus, Uxoris Filius, & Fratrum Pater. Ne­que hic se sistit vestra divina indoles, cujus vel pictura est satis prolifica; siquidem Alma Mater ubi concipiat, speciem vestram ob oculos ponit, vestrum instar reprae­sentat animo, ut masculum magis, magis excultam s [...]bo­lem enitatur. Illi, illi estis, quibus si ante inventas li­teras contigisset vivere, Imagines vestras ab Aegyptiis expressas, hodie pro Artibus & Scientiis legeremus. Non ego sequax erroris illius qui nihil egregium ducit nisi quod vetustum, qui praesentia fastidit tempora, & ex hesterno jure panem atrum vorat. Senescit, si Diis placit, Natura; Majoribus quidem nostris dedit ani­marum jugera, nobis spithamas; Gigantes illi, nos Pusiones. Degeneres animae & verè minores in hac o­pinione: Lucrifecit haec aetas, non decoxit. Illi quidem Literarum Atavi, sed quota est familia? cujus primus fuit illud quod dicere nolo, secundus illud quod nequeo: Humilis principii nobilis progressus. Habeant quod su­um est Antiqui, sed nè in solidum fiant Domini: suas sibi laudes vendicent, sed vestras vobis nè praeripiant; quorum ego meritis tantum confido, ut veterum sicut ca­nitiem veneror, sic misereor impotentiam. Ructarunt illi glandes, vestrum est triticum: calceati eorum den­tes, & victus asper, vestrae dapes & ingenii gulae; quibus quod retro est seculum tantùm stravit mensam, erit à quadris futurum. Clari Convivae, quibus obso­nantur antiqui, minis [...]rant posteri. Sed quam effrons [Page 142] ego & devorati pudoris, qui dum vestra molior Encomia, Orationem meam foelicitatis tantae commensalem red­dam! Liceat tamen peccare, Auditores, ut ignoscatis; purpura elotis maculis est iterata murice; gloriabor de culpâ à vobis remissâ magis quàm de innocentiâ. Juli­us Sabinus; cum à Romano imperio defecisset, fusis jam copiis & afflictis rebus in monumentum quoddam se abdidisse dicitur, ubicum Uxore tamdiu latuerit, ut plures filios ex ea susceperit; tandem vero deprehensus, & pro Tribunali positus, filios suos in medium sistens, sic affatur Iudicem: Parce, Parce, Caesar; hos in monumento genui, hosce alui, ut tibi plures essemus sup­plices. Vestram fidem, Auditores, quicquamne uspiam rotundius dictum? Consulite quicquid est Rhetorum. O vanas spes tuas Cicero! O frustra susceptos labores! O inanes cogitationes! Tinnis, tinnis prae hoc Oratorum maximo, qui si cum Uxore tua Rhetorica tam diu in Musaeo conclusus esses, quam ille in Monumento, nun­quam Orationem hujus parem genuisses. Gratias tibi, Sabine, de excusatione mea, qui cum necesse sit ut de­linquam, habeo tamen deprecandi formulam. Habeo filios quos ostendam, hanc circumstantem Rhetoricam Magna, magna est Infantium Eloquentia, qui eò plus exorant quò non loquantur. Eorum illice tacendi Sua­dâ & ego in praesens utar; neque dubito quin plus favoris demerear silentio, quam ulteriori taedio.

Actus primi Scena secunda.

REdeo jam alter Sosia: Redeo cum annorum sar­cinâ. O quam tacito pede tempus labitur, & obrepit non intellecta senectus! Non est, quam videtis barbae desperatio, sed genarum calvities; non sum im­plumis puer, sed defloccatus senex. Prodite igitur in aciem, mei filii; non in aciem ingenii; nollem enim vos nimis ingeniosos in pueritiâ, ne Doctores sitis in senectute. Prudens Natura dedit Infantulis rationis somnum, ut in aetatis vespera lucubrentur. Cum ani­mae nimis vigiles in praetexta, dormiunt, ut videtis, in purpura. Festo die si quid prodigeris, pro festo ege­re liceat, modo non peperceris; si Iuvenes prodigatis cerebra, Senes capita eritis & nil praeterea. Sed non est quod de vobis metuam; pari modo nostra, quo Clau­diana familia est intertexa, aut Regem, aut Fatuum nasci oportet; aut lepidos & facetos Iuvenes, aut eo­rum Antipodas. Illos ita hilares & jocosos, ut ex Jo­vis cerebro jurares natos, alios ita hebetes & tardos, ut vel ex patris delirio, vel ex novissimo decreto. Non magis differunt illae primae sorores, Nox & Dies, quam hi Fratres. In hisce radiorum pompa & adulta lux; in illis spissae tenebrae vel, si qu [...]d Intellectûs lu­men, qualis è squamis piscium, aut putri ligno noctur­nus splendor. Hercules & Iphiclus fratres fuerunt indole dispares; Herculi fortitudo data est, Iphiclo pernicitas pedum, ac si illum Alemena ad bellum, hunc ad fugam peperisset. Est & nobis multiplex Hercules qui duodecim terminos totidem laboribus mensuravit: u­nus forsan aut alter Iphiclus, qui pocula sacra hibit & fugit; qui non aliàs se Herculis fratrem demon­strat, quam quod trinoctium illud quod ad procreandum [Page 144] Herculem continuavit Jupiter in Intellectu suo usque conservat. Nata est (quamvis novitia) de qu [...]dam fabula; qui cum agnum insidiis excepisset, & odora­nare persequeretur Pastor, ubi nullus pateret effugii lo­cus, tuguriam intrat, agnum fasciis involutum in cu­nas componit, quas huc illuc subinde quassat, ut balanti puero conciliaret somnum; sic scrutantium examen elu­sit, & astu non dispari Ulyssem vicit: Sunt & in nostra prole aliqui, quorum cunas si penitius excutiatis, illuc etiam reperire est illud simplicius animal, nihil prae­ter agninam pellem & innocentiam. Mortale ovum Castoris, immortale Pollucis; hic Iovem Deum imi­tatur, aeternus, viridis, & mutationis expers; ille Jovem Cygnum; nec diu erit quin senior factus canitie si­mulabit plumas; alter filius Jovis, alter [...]. Quis tantum componet litem? Quis concilia­bit inter sese tam multiformis foetus membra? Dei Pollux Castori immortalitatem mutuam, uterque vivet alternatim; dies nocti lucem accommodet, utrinque cre­pusculum fiet; spargantur in omnibus merita, quae in aliquibus fluunt mista, & mea fide omnes idonei ad res­pondendum questioni. Hi tamen sunt in quibus stabit hodierna hilaritas: cum enim penuria verborum sit Mater Rhetoricae, non video quin defectus ingenii sit Pater Iocorum. Sed esto quod non sunt agiles & ad ingenium prompti; nonne statutis magis morigeri? non sunt stupidi, tantum obtemperant Authoritati. Centu­rio cum à Proelio abesset, & Africanus Victor causam quaereret, respondit, se tuendis castris dedisse operam, ne caeteris in acie detentis diriperentur; suboluit Duci pusilanimis ratio. Non amo nimium diligentes. E­tiam & filii mei hisce lepidis Exercitiis interessent, ni­si quod tuenda sunt Castra, observanda Statuta, ne caeteris jocantibus violarentur. Euge mei filii! non fuit [Page 143] Militis ignavia, sed Castrorum cura; non Torpor in­genii, sed metus Statuti. Lex fuit antiqua in Tabulis Decemviralibus primum inventa, ad Justiniani Codi­cem postea progressa, in Iure qua Canonico, qua Civili receptissima; & tandem ad hoc Municipale nostrum delapsa. Siquis faxit plus quam possit damnus esto. Lex imponit Castitatis fibulam; nonne damnandus Eu­nuchus si committat stuprum? Cavet statutum ut fru­gi vivamus: nonne culpandus Mendicus si luxurietur? Pari modo plectendi sunt mei filii, si sint ingeniosi. Crudele Decretum quod mutis execuit linguas, caecis ex­tinxit oculos, filiis meis ingenio inter dixit.

Oratio Inauguralis, cum Praelectoris Rhetori­ci munus auspicaretur.

QUanta & quàm divina sit vestra benefaciendi In­doles, quam pauperrima gratitudinis nostrae talio, nescio an diutinum meum silentium, an hodierna Ora­tio luculentius fuerit testimonium. Imparem se fatetur modesta taciturnitas, & in tanto certamine maluit ce­dere, quam infantibus Gratiis humanitatem vestram bal­butire in minimis, & quae compensare possunt be­neficiis peccat silentium, quod in majoribus est religio­sum. Sed frigidè agnoscere tantundem ac tacere; & in hoc tamen scelere pietatem meam invenietis, quod e­nim sollicitis votis ambiunt alii, ut favori vestro p [...] ­ribus numeris respondeant, ut munus & Gratiae in [...]a­moebaeam quandam Eclogam coalescant: secus ego gra­tulor meam gratiarum ignaviam: quò enim magis infra muneris vestri magnitudinem subsido, eò infamiâ me [...] munus commendo. Gratiae cum beneficio in bilance posi­tae, & pro levitate suâ in sublime actae, ex proprio [...] dibrio gloriam addunt & pondus beneficio. Quod si elegantes magis velitis gratias, estote vos minus muni­fici, Gratitudo est beneficii Echo, quae ut singula verb [...] potest repetere, ita longam sententiam ne dimidian. Monosyllaba (ut ita dicam) beneficia facilè reverbe­ramus, cum grandioribus & vestris ne unam aut alte­ram syllabam rependimus: prodeo igitur in aciem cu [...] amore vestro, sed ut succumbam studeo. Contendu [...] gratiae cum beneficio, sed ut ex istâ pugnâ major appare­at vestra victoria. Qui in Hostis potestatem se luben [...] offert, invidet hosti honorem suum; plenior ex capi [...] quàm ex dedititio Triumphus; & major erit munificen­tiae vostrae Paean ex Oratore victo, quam ex imbe [...] [Page 145] silentio. Quorsum autem ego in haec subsellia ascende­rem, qui ita haereditarium à proavis meis praelectoribus accepi silentium, ut necesse habuerim quasi ex traduce, tacuisse? Erat enim, cùm Lectores legere Pleonasmus haberetur. Artis fuit apud illos dissimulare artem; munus suscipere, cum privilegio dormire; implere au­tem, (absit omen!) officium; ad industriam prodere, de posteris mereri malè. Crediderim sanè ego illud fu­isse muneris nostri ingenium, ut, quod Papae solent, il­larum virtutum à quibus maximè distant esse cognomi­nes; proinde Rhetores eligerentur illi, qui per integrum annum obmutescerent. Nec immeritò; tam rarae enim fuerunt, tam infrequentes praelectiones nostrae, tam se­culares denique, ut nescio quî possum melius praefari, quàm illis praeconis verbis; Venite ad Ludos quos nemo mort alium unquam videt, nec visurus est postea. Sed nova hoc anno exoritur Lectorum Religio, quî, aliter ac Lectores solent, ad Canones & Statuta revocamur. Stamus indies, loquimur quotidiè, & tam ancipiti pul­monum virtute, ut & Pulpitae ad vigiliam, & Audi­tores ad somnum adigamus. Ad somnum? ad horro­rem potius; tanto enim recentes hujus inusitati prodigii percussi sunt metu, ut verendum sit nè ad Paedagogos scripserint novitiam aliquam haeresin suppullulasse, Ba­bylonicam Meretricem in Rhetoricis Lenociniis esse redivivam, & in liberalibus Scientiis septicollem Besti­am. Ecquid amplius apud vos Papisticum? imo & quod pessimum est, noctu & interdiu horas Canonicas observare Procancellarium; quem non citius maximo cum honore nomino, quin eò deflectanda mihi videtur Oratio; cujus in laudes tam alacris est mea Rhetorica, ut si semel undarent lora, vereor quod habenas non au­diret denuo. Quotus enim est patronus noster? qui homines alioquin somnolentos, tanquam matutinus Sol, [Page 146] radiis suis ad laborem suscitat; qui otiari in officio, ac dormire in aprico pudendum ratus, non modo ipse labo­rat, sed & nostri laboris est Artifex: ita eandem quam ipse exercet diligentiam felici contagione nobis affricat. Qui denique (& quod ego palmarium duco) modestiam meam, nimis difficilem, in hodiernum vestrî obsequium rapuit. Vestrî intelligo, Senatus amplissime; quibus quicquid ego Praelectoris sum, refero acceptum; quo­rum nescio an me Rhetorem elegerunt Iudicia, aut Suffragia crearunt. Crearunt dico, & satis cum au­daciâ repeto; tot enim & tam foecundae voces in unum congestae, quem non Rhetorem fecissent? Quod igitur fabulantur Poetae ad Pandorae Natalitia universum De­orum Chorum fuisse à Symbolis; idem in Rhetorica mea, & unanimi vestro assensu, quasi Epimuthion nactum invenietis. Quare quos Eloquentia, si quae sit mea, ag­noscit compatres, non dubito quin usque habitura s [...] susceptores; ut eadem lubentiâ in aures vestras resili [...] quâ facilitate pectorum profecta est. Non causabor i [...] posterum imbecillitatem meam, qui onus dedistis, de­dist is humeros: & ut absint caetera, satis erit virium sub aquilâ vestrâ militare. Refert Seneca de pusi [...] & monogrammate (ut ita dicam) homunculo, qui palaestram ausus est descendere, quoniam pugiles mulos & strenuos servos domi aleret. Si servi tantum pot [...] ­erint, si vicarii roboris confidentia infirmum herum com­mas [...]ulare possit, quid Domini facient? Et ego in h [...] literarium pulverem possum irruere, non Mercurio meo, sed quoniam tam multos & tam facundos habeam Do­minos. Non enim ad hoc officium designatus sum à dex­tro aut àlaevo vulture, non à sitellâ aut sortibus, no [...] ab imperito vulgo, vel (quod idem est apud Persas) hinniente equorum armento, sed à Senatu vestro, scili­cet (ut sobriè audax possum dicere) ab oecumeni [...] [Page 147] literarum concilio. Quid enim non infra erit eorum dignitatem, quibus Artes omnes pro satellitio, & con­juratae veniunt ad Clientelam Scientiae? Impos hic sui Rhetorica, & laudes vestras nè anhelâ quidem eloquen­tiâ adaequare potest. Parcite, Auditores, si vos fre­quens compellem; ita enim subduxi mecum rationem ad agendum, ut ubi vos nominaverim, Troporum affatim, abundè Figurarum. Quod igitur artis Memoriae Pro­fessores solent per ea, quae sunt sibi ante oculos posita, alia quaecunque memoranda significare; idem Audito­res meos edoctos velim, ut in vos ora & obtutus figant, ut hunc Metonymiam, illum Hyperbolen, universam multitudinem pro continuatâ figurarum Allegoriâ imagi­nati, omnes colores, omnia Orationis lumina, integram denique Rhetoricae Supellectilem, per quandam oculorum Metaphoram ad sese transferant. Iamque, Auditores, [...]um eò deventum sit, ut vos omnes in volumen quoddam Rhetoricum compegerim, recipio in posterum me lectu­ [...]um: In praesens aliquid de Rhetoricâ dicendum censeo; [...]eque enim tam foelix Argumentum, quale vos reputo, [...]riùs reliquissem, quàm individuis praeconiis vos & Rhe­ [...]oricam semel simulque commendare. Ferunt Demost­ [...]enem, optimum licet Rhetorem, non potuisse pronuncia­ [...]e nomen Rhetoricae. Quae Demosthenis fuit impoten­ [...]ia, est Rhetoricae modestia, quae licet apud omnes lau­ [...]atissima sit & multi nominis, titulos tamen suos erubes­ [...]at proloqui. Quid igitur ego quàm ut veterem illum [...]edelae modum imitarer? lapides aliquos in os injiciam, [...]uos nisi favor vester, plus quam Chymicus in preciosos erterit, indigni erunt qui in auribus vestris tam diser­ [...]s pendeant. Age igitur Rhetorica, explica virtutes [...]as, quae Logicae, Philosophiae caeterisque tuis Sororibus [...]licem facundiae hederam soles praefigere. Si tibi in eo­ [...]em deesses officio, quid aliud quam foris saperes, domi [Page 148] insanires? Atque hinc quàm optimè Rhetoricae encomi­um auspicari possum, quòd nativa sit ejus Pulchritudo cum in caeteris nil nisi emptitium fucum deprehendas. Scitum est illud Phrynes Thebanae Commentum, qua cum Convivio inter aequales adesset, & probè jam satu­ratae omnes ludis operam darent; Lex lata est, ut quic­quid facto praeiret quaevis, subsequerentur caeterae. Ubi ad Phrynes vices deventum est, poscit aquam, faciem lavat, quod cum caeterae pro imperio Legis fecissent, Phryne pulchrior, ut quae sordes eluerat, deformes cae­terae, ut quae fucum deter serant, apparuere. Huc sum­ma redit denique, Autographa est Rhetoricae venustas, quae in caeteris est tralatitia. Fictitii sunt aliorum vul­tus, cum nesciat Rhetorica qualis sit illa nova Prosopo­poeia. Caeterae quidem Scientiae Magnates sunt Domi­nae; sed tanquam Dominae facies suas è Rhetoricae Pyr­ide mutuantur. Ut reliquas taceam; Quid Logica citra Rhetoricam? Contractus ille pugnus ad Colophos magis accommodus, quam ad aures demulcendas; ubi verò in palpam Rhetoricae extendatur, non opus est ut dicam quantum potue it, cum frater meus Logicus ex­emplo suo nuper ostenderit. Quae igitur alias Artes laudibus suis deaurare solet, aequum est ut suis superbiat, quae (tanquam Danista) Elegantiam suam foris locat usurariam, iniquum esset si non ipsam sortem cum am­plissimo foenore reciperet quanquam quidem Rhetorica non tam facultates suas foenori apponit, quàm, tanquam Missilia, in Scientiarum plebem Regina disseminat. Hactenus quàm dives Rhetorica in alienis loculis, nunc videamus quàm opulenta sit in suis. Quod ut faciliu [...] fieret, utinam Thesaurarius, ejus Cicero revivisce­ret; qui si toties de Rhetorica sua, quoties de Consula [...] gloriatus esset, & aeque indefessum argumentum hab [...] ­isset, & mitiùs ob superbiam vapularet. Hic ille At­ticae [Page 149] Helenae Rivalis, hic Palladii Graeci Ulysses; hinc illae Philosophi lachrymae Rhetoricam è Graecia trans­missuram. Quod enim Antonio Athenas proficiscenti Cives Minervam suam desponsarunt; ideoque pro a­dulationis poena Talentum, quasi pro dote, coacti sunt numerare: idem in Cicerone plenius ac vellent evenisse constat; qui ubi Athenis studuit Rhetoricam, praesidem Civitatis Deam, Uxorem duxit; & ubi à Pyraeo sol­veret, omnem ejus dotalem ornatum secum in Italiam transmisit. Euge redux Cicero. Salvete in Tuscu­lum Athenae. Opima magis spolia quam terna illa Iovi Feretrio consecrata. O qualis fuit Ciceronis co­pia! Qualis ejus dicendi Tyberis! imo Romanus Nilus! Quantum enim ejus Eloquentia excrevit, vel deferbuit, tantum foecunda vel sterilis, foelix vel mise­ra extitit Italia. Quot ille Coronas ob Cives, quot ob Provincias defendendas meruit? qui cum duos parrici­dio liberaret Roscium & Popilium, ob unum in aeter­num debuit vivere, teste omnium optimâ Oratione: ob alterum mori, idque Popilii manu, in ejus caede parrici­dium confessi. Hic tamen Cicero Facundiae Sponsus; hic (pace Bruti dixerim) Romanorum Rex; hic, plusquam Caesar, perpetuus Dictator, ut divinum Rhe­toricae numen sacro quondam horrore agnosceret, in O­rationum primordiis singultiit, ut ludit Comicus, victi­tavit Sorbillo. Vetus obtinuit Superstitio, ut ubi Lu­na pateretur Eclipsin, armorum strepitus, vel quilibet alius clangor parturienti (sic enim credebant) Numi­ni obstetricari possit. Ubi laborat Respublica, ubi de­liquium passura est Patria, intercedit Rhetorica ut Lu­cina Juno, & suavissimo tonitru tumorem sedat. Tu­multuatur Plebs, secedit in Janiculum. Ecquis pro­dit Jupiter Stator? Ecce Rhetor Agrippa, qui Fa­bulae cujusdam de ventre & membris tintinnabulo fugi­tivum [Page 150] apum examen ad praesepe redegit. Tantum Arti­ficis valet habitus oris. Senecam dum audiret Nero, quis aequavit ejus quinquennium? Ita facundus senex in­sidiatur Tyranno, & animum ejus ad vitia proclivam furtivâ Rhetoricâ in virtutem prodit, sanctissimè reus Majestatis. Neque enim Reges aut Imperatores Rhe­toricae jugum sub [...]erfugiunt. Tonat Rhetorica? frustra sub lecto cubat Testudo Caligula. Fulgurat Rhetori­ca? incassum lauro circundatur Tiberius, nec in iste circulo securus. Duplex enim est Rhetoricae Genius; bonus, qui innocentes praemiis afficit, & malus, qui sce­leratos exagitat; tam subtilis tamen est ejus Suada & hujus terror, ut tanquam fulmen terebrans, salvis cor­porum vaginis ipsas animas liquefaciat. Quid ego vo­bis Crassos, Curios, Loelios proponam? quorum il­lustrium Rhetorum tam numerosa sunt apud Historiam Exempla; quam apud nos nulla: nam siqua sit exilis & strigosa Oratio, sine sanguine, sine anima; senten­tiis ad tertium lapidem porrectis, haec (si placet) est Ciceroniana. Pudendum nominis Sacrilegium! & cu­jus in vindictam miror facundos manes non resurgere novas scripturos Philippicas. Sed ecce alius Cicero­nis insons! qui perspicuum & simplicem perosus styluin implicitè loquitur & in aenigmate, ac si Persii Carminae in Prosam Orationem per modum Anagrammatis resol­veret: anxiae ineptiae! Et quae neminem Oratorem prae­ter Sphingem Monstrum, neminem Auditorem praeter Oedipum admittunt. Tertius prodit uterque neuter, qui ambabus sellis sedet, qui omnia dicendi genera expe­ritur; cujus Oratio tanquam multiformis Luna secun­dùm varias mutat Quartas; modò gibbosa, modò falca­ta, plena, semi-plena, ac si Rhetorica Metempsychosin quandam instituerit, per omnes stylos pervagata. Ubi inte­rim Musarum Castitas? Adulter est ille Stylus, quire [...] [Page 151] habet cum pluribus, & maxima Oratoris laus est aequum & integritas. Sed proh stupor! Egone ut Rhetoricae [...]ncomia moliar, & Oratorem nostrum publicum cui omnes assurgunt, praetermittam? cujus nomen cum De­mosthene triplicare, est Rhetoricam ex omni parte de­finire. Peregrinatur in altis Rhetorica, hîc Incola est, non Hospes unde non magis illam divellas quàm Solem è Coelo, Iustitiam a Fabricio. Ille decus suae & do­lor nostrae Gentis, qui cum Orator sit & Graecus Profes­sor, pari jure quo Caesar, Consules, nominari potest Academiae Oratores. Ille enim verus Orator qui Am­bidexter, in quo binae linguae unum eloquentiae trahunt jugum. Refert Seneca de quodam, qui cum bis decla­masset in eodem die, Graecè, & Latinè, & sciscitare­tur quidam (ut curiosum sumus Literarum genus) quo­modo perorasset, responsum tulit, bené & [...], benè Latinè, perperam Graecè. Dictum non magis lepidum & rotundum quam hodiéque verum; quàm multi enim sunt Literati [...]; Quot Eloquentes [...]; Plures Cicerones (pauci licet) quàm Demosthenes. Incipiat sanè Rhetorica à Latinis, sed adolescat in Grae­cis. Graecia à Latio mutuetur Calendas; sed Nonas, sed Idus apponat suas: qui enim in solis Latinis est exercitatus, est Polyphemus monoculus, pene dixerim [...] Rhetoricus. Possem, Auditores, ad Cathedram ascendere, & ibi etiam quomodo Rhetorica pro Tribunali sedeat, demonstrare; sed pin­ge duos angues, sacer est locus: vel si fas esset laudes ejus attingere, attingere tamen est Peligio: ita enim in illo divino Professore conturbavit prodiga Rhetorica, ut nè unciam habeat unde cum posteris pro labore & vigiliis suis decernat. Huc usque eminus quasi verba feci; tempus est ut cum auditoribus meis cominus agerem: Moris enim est librum nominare, & sic pro hoc anno [Page 152] satisfecisse. Sed illud quicquid est numeris reliquum, in Termini proximè ineuntis exordium differam; u­bi tamen spero Auditores meos non affutores; nam si nullo alio modo vos deterrere possum, legam Arabice. O invidendam Praelectoris solitudinem! cujus in Indi­viduo, coelestem admodum, universa species Arabica, quantum ad nos spectat, conservatur. Quod si m [...]is ingratiis Auditores adsint, & Ego contra me sistam Rhetorem, uterque agemus quod nostrum est, usque vo­bis grati erimus. Rhetoricae & honori vestro pariter incumbemus: ita enim commodum nostrum & observan­tia vestri mutuo nexu alligantur, ut quo quisque erimus magis Rhetores, eò Munificentiae vestrae magis memores.

Oratio habita in Scholis Theologicis, cùm Moderatoris partes ageret.

QUae cum ità sint, Auditores, liceat tandem perora­re, Piladi dabo ut hodie insaniam, & tum fi­ [...]itus Orestes. Quod Reges solent, ubi satietas illos [...]undi ceperit, Coenobium intrare ut seipsos dediscant; perinde de nostro ingressu in hasce Scholas judicate. Poenitet nostrae nugacis facundiae, & in severiori hujus loci genio remedium quaero. Nec tamen sum ex illorum numero qui sapiunt in gratiis, qui gravitatem complect­untur, ut continentiam Senes, qui cum ulterius peccare nequeunt, resipiscunt. Spadonum est haec virtus; in­genia casta, quoniam non mascula; ac si Statuta nostra, sicut Turcarum Mulieres, non alios agno scerent Custo­des praeter Eunuchos. Pudet haec opprobria nobis dici. Sunt qui ingenio ingenium debellant, qui ex ferratis Stymphalidum pennis desumunt spicula, quibus ipsas aves, vivas illas pharetras, interficiunt. Hujusmodi cum audiam Tripodum Oracula, & ambiguos Vates, exemplo praeeuntes ingenium, quod Orationibus insectantur. Video Catonem sui ipsius lacerantem viscera; Video Demosthenem proprio Calamo pereuntem. Ad quid autem, dicit aliquis, hispida haec rerum facies? Ergó­ne defluet comptior Eloquentia, ut barbae squallor domi­netur? Absit omen! Regnet quidem Gravitas, sed citra straiatam frontem & Vultûs Tyrannidem, nè sit instar Sileni Alcibiadis, ita intùs Numen ut extùs ap­pareat Demogorgon. Qui in Oratore odit foeminae mollitiem, fastidit magis agrestes villos; qui denudat aures Rhetoricis cincinnis, extirpat radicitus genarum sentes: Neque enim illi accedo, qui consultus de opti­mo Rhetore, respondit, Statuta Academiae. Liber noster [Page 154] non stat in catenis reus eloquentis criminis, sed tanquam Tyrius Apollo ideo constringitur, nè suam gravatus servitutem mutaret Dominum. Facilis à libro ad Respon­dentem transitio, quos cum ambos simul cogitem, nes­cio an gemellos rectè nominarem. Gemelli; corpora si respicias sunt unius Divortium, si animas unio duorum, quasi vulnus à Natura factum amore mutuo erat coi [...] rum. O quam studet illam Naturae Diaeresin resarcirt, qui cum libro non indulserit Nasum; prohibere tamen nequit quin typis mandetur! ea enim est ejus cum lite­ris communio, ut literato ejus cumulo vel huno unicum librum addere, erant qui superstuum credidere. Vul­tis omnia? tam eruditus est noster Respondens, ut ve­reor ne tanquam Cataphractus miles, onustus potius quàm munitus literis videatur. Sed incassum ego mo­lior; surge tui ipsius Encomium; ego enim (tanquam pictum velum, aut expansum carbasum) spectaculum polliceor; tuum est, Scaligeri verbo, monstrum per­fectionis ostendere.

Oratio prior habita in Scholis Juridicialibus, Domino Doctore Littleton Respondente.

UNicum nostrum & captivum librum cum eodem obtutu quo numerosa tua conspiciam volumina, nescio quin disparis nostrae conditionis luculenta Icon videatur. Me quod spectat Eruditionis nostrae modu­lum satis unus, satis nullus liber repraesentat; cum tua grandiora merita vix integra complecti possit Bi­bliotheca. Ad quid autem librorum tantum; ubi ma­gis est literarum? Veteris picturae fuit opprobrium quòd hîc Canis, fuit adscriptum, cum viva effigies (tan­quam praeco domesticus) seipsam interpretetur. Cre­dimus te literatum, non propter Authorum, sed prop­ter tuiipsius testimonium. Optimus Nomenclator ima­ginis est loquax artificium. Propria virtus, non far­rago librorum te honestabit, & unicus tuus Orator erit Respondens. O quam superbit Alma Mater, quae fre­quentem nuper enixa sobolem in te uno duplicavit nume­rum! Refert de patre quodam Historia, qui inter filios divisurus bona, primo tantum tribuit, & Lucium co­haeredem facit; tantum secundo, & Lucium addit; tertio tantum, & usque Lucium fortunae suae rivalem: cumque in qualibet cerâ scripsisset Lucium, hoc addit Elogium, Lucius & Fratres sunt Gemini. Quid aliud Gemini quàm Naturae aequilibrium? quae cum unum fra­trem reliquos Triumviratûs regulâ, adaequare faciat, Quò tum te creavit virtus? Multiplexes in tuis Fratribus, & qua scunque laudes illi meruerunt, tu nasceris particeps. Certè si te unum tantum pepererit Academia, multos simul pariat necesse, ut duos dicatur peperisse. Neque tamen de Fratrum copia de sperandum est; si enim parturienti Acade­miae, ut laboranti Lunae, strepitu & sono obstetricandum sit, [Page 156] nullum facilius quam Iuridicorum erit puerperium [...] Crederem equidem vel in ipso utero litigare velle, ut ci­tius nascerentur. Hinc est quod tam universa prod [...] Cadmi seges, ut malè metuo ne vix satis sit litium ad omnes alendos. Quod si bono fato contigerit, arm [...] aristae se metent invicem & (piscium ad instar) [...] praedae deficit, vorabunt mutuò. Liceat mihi, Themi­dos Magnates, Causidicorum vulgus paulum perstringe­re, ut vestra magis internoscantur merita; cumque a­liàs modestia vestra non patiatur, in aenigmate saltem adulari liceat. Subdola furium scientia hanc inter reli­quas excogitavit fallaciam. Fures duo à jurgiis auspi­cati pugnam simulant, capita pro mutuâ Colophorum li­bidine probè demulcent, quod cum confertus hinc illius populus spectatum prodeat, usque praeliantur bellicosi A [...] ­cupes, dum à Collegis suis turbae commixtis, singulo­rum marsupia pertunduntur. Non in vestram pecc [...]o dignitatem, si nubat haec Similitudo. Sunt & in vestra gente Cauponantes belli, qui ita disputant, ut quaestio­nem in alienis loculis inveniant, & (quod pessimum est) in illis exercitiis nullum agnoscunt Moderatorem. L [...] ­diones sunt qui ob mercedem pugnant, vestra Disputatio sola retinet liberalitatem scientiae. Sed Infans encomi­um addendo detrahit; laudare quod satis nequis est sa­crilegium admittere. Age igitur, Doctissime Vir, & disputatio vestra quae praecidit mihi Orationis progres­sum, suo indicio, & vestris radiis magis eniteat.

Oratio posterior, eodem Respondente.

DE Gallis dicitur quod primus plusquam virorum impetus, secundus minor sit quam foeminarum. Digni profectò qui ab Uxoribus suis vapularent milites, cum (tanquam meticulosi lepores) fortitudinis suae sexum mutent. Non tu hujusmodi Tyresias Gallicus, [...]t virilis anima sit degener in foeminam, & novissimae [...]ebdomadae fortis Disputatio subsidat hodiè in sequiorem. Eccum vobis, Auditores optimi, eundem Responden­tem! virtutem parem! noster Hercules non Ancillam [...]nduit, nec nobilis ille clavae terror ad humile ministeri­um Coli emasculatur. Cestius Rhetor ita sibi & Elo­quentiae suae supervixit, ut discipulus ejus per cineres per­orantis Cestii juraret. Quotusquisque est qui suum ipsius stat Monumentum, cujus vigor igneus in flebile frigescit marmor, idem Eruditionis Cadaver & Sepul­chrum? Secus tua divina virtus, quae aemulos prius supe­rare contenta, nunc audaci conatu seipsam molitur; quae cum alios ita nuper vinceret, nunc ipsam Victori­am captivam ducet. Hoc habet quilibet generosus ani­mus, ut ne Solstitium patiatur, tantum abest ut agnos­cat Tropicum. Praestat aeternùm fuisse claudum, quam tandem retrogradum. Malo Mulier esse quam Eunuchus. Malo nasci quam fieri ignavus. Pristinae igitur vir­tutis memor iterum descendis in pulverem, & priori gloriâ, tanquam optimo tubicine, redaccensus instauras praelium. Proinde à Majoribus nostris cautum est, ut duos actus praestarent Iuridici; absque enim vobis & vestris litibus dualis numerus non esset inventus. Hinc est quod semel tantum respondeat Theologus, ut quos vestra jurgia duos effecerint, ejus Pietas reduces faciat ad unitatem. Si Theologia & Medicina cum Iurispru­dentiâ [Page 158] de forma concertarent, tam turbida est Facult [...] vestra, ut me Paride, vestrum esset Pomum Discordi [...] Sterilescit hoc anno Medicina, ut quae satis novit quod ingruente bello, citra Medicorum opem mori possumus. Deficit Medicina, redundat Facultas vestra, neq [...] mirum tamen quod binos alat ubere foetus, cum ad Ar [...] vestrae mulctram nos humanum pecus toties veniamus. Gens Amazonum alteram mammam solet exurere, [...] ad praeliandum magis sit accommoda; ambas habet Iu­risprudentia, & tamen plus quam Amazon est bellicosa. Qui solet omnia duplicare Bacchus à Poet is fingitur [...]is natus; duplex actus te peperit geminum. Ecce ti [...] Jovis & Patris mixtura dulcis, qui disputationis f [...] ­mine te primum genuit, in amoris femur nunc reconder. Epaminondas moriturus, cum ejus orbitatem defler [...] quidam, nihil de tam egregiâ stirpe reliquum fuisse: Leuctram & Mantinaeam, duas pulcherrimas filias se reliquisse dixit. Quid aliud tua disputatio gemin [...] quam Leuctra & Mantinaea? pulchrae quidem fili [...], quas ita desponsatas sibi velit posteritas aemula, ut qui in futurum seculum erit doctus, erit Gener tuus. Ag [...] igitur, & fortiter, cavendum enim est ab Achillis fa­to qui usque fuisti invulnerabilis, in Disputationis cal [...] occidaris.

Oratio itidem habita in Scholis Juridicialibus, cum Moderatoris partes ageret.

CUm vos intuear, Iurispiritûm Par, simulque re­ductis introrsum oculis imperitiam meam, Areo­ [...]agum esse in hisce Scholis duplex argumentum invenio, [...]estram in agendo solertiam, & nostras Iudicandi te­ [...]ebras. Fabula de Capro inter duos Arietes curs [...]s [...]rbitro, & ab hinc illinc procurrentibus utrinque con­ [...]so; fabula inquam haec utinam esset fabula, nec in Moderatore vestro hodiernum nacta [...]. Sa­ [...]urni aetas foelix magis, quod innocens, an misera [...]uod nullis Legibus instituta, digna vobis quaestio. [...]ratulor quidem ego primaevum scelus; qui pri [...] deli­ [...]uit, primus Solon & Lycurgus fuit, ita Ciconiae [...]d modum vitae damno Iura peperit, & tanquam Au­ [...]graphus Draco, suo sanguine Leges scripsit. Me­ [...]rcule peccandi Inventio, quae. Leges introduxit, cujus [...]i primus Author extitit, tanto beneficio redemit sce­ [...]s, ut facinus infra gloriam fuisse videatur. Nec [...]estra unius populi, sed Gentium superbia est Iurispru­ [...]entia; cujus in clientela Nationes omnes & Provinciae [...]rent, & de Iuris Civilis ac de Solis communione uni­ [...]rsae participant. Insulas, Urbes & singula Geo­ [...]aphiae frusta Ius Municipale occupat, cum Civile [...]iversum Orbem complectatur, & Regiones, ut ut [...]ssitas, suâ tamen sub ditione foederatas, vel invitâ [...]aturâ, jubet coalescere. Britannos ipsos, quos cum [...]ero Orbe in bilance quadam Natura posuit, Ius Ci­ [...]le (tanquam Isthmus quidam) conciliat, & ju­ [...]li quadam societate connectit. Neque magis Orbem [...]s vestrum colligit, quam illud alteram dividit & ar­ [...]ulatim comminuit. Est (quam vellem dixisse fuit!) [Page 160] legultiorum genus, quos artem nescias an pulmones pro­fessos; qui ambi [...]uitate vocis abusi, Forum in Empo­rium mutan [...], ubi quid vendant sat superque norint, qui tanti emunt poenitere. Quid turbae est apud Forum? Quid illic homines litigant; qui ita clangant, ac si cum Proavis suis Capitolium defenderent? Advertas modo, & audi [...]s. Damonis Caprum à Causidico quodam pari clamore quo olim surreptum; multum latrante Lycisca repetitum. Sed quid ego illos perstringo, quos vestra coelitus dilapsa scientia ipsâ comparatione satis arguit? satis per seipsam splendet vestra purpura, ut ne alieno rubore indigeat. Quod meum igitur est, Iudex assur­go, vultis, & qualis? qui causam nescio. Ais? Aio: Negas? Nego; tam dubia est nostra Modera­trix Trutina; ut ne pulvisculum habeat Doctrinae qu [...] vel hanc, vel illam prae [...]ravabit sententiam. Agite i­gitur Themidos Supreme. Flamen, tuque inferior Mysta, & dum vos tanto litetis Numini, ego (tan­quam Cereris Arcano) sacro excipiam silentio; neque enim alio concilio huc ascendi, quam quo Philippi puer, i [...] Argumenta vestra, si prolixiora, mortalitatis su [...] admonerem.

Ad Archiepiscopum Cantuariensem

QUos ad Aram vestram impulit pri [...]s. Hostium ma­litia, eò Numinis bonit as allexit denuó. Suppli­ces qui primum accessin [...]us, grati jam redimus; & ubi Asylum habuimus, eò sacrificium [...], sed quantum thuri nostro dissidimus, ubi [...] Jovem Statorem cogitamus? Beneficium quidem vestrum seriò gratula­mur, sed & dolenius pariter; cujus magnitudo gratias in [...]um provocat, [...] nos ad ingra [...]os necesse damnet: e­ [...]vero nos indigni qui s [...]s grati. Edvardus & E­lizabetha Virginei Reges conjugantur in gratiis; quo­rum numera suam ex traduce Castita [...]em non conservas­s [...], nisi quod Patrocinio vestro à Sacrilego raptu vin­dica entur. O quam fidelis erit ille erga Regem suum, cujus pertinax Pietas cineres Regios demeretur! Quam avida interim humanitas as vestra, quae non nisi tribus se­ [...]is contenta! quae retro aevum in [...]uetur, ut in futurum prospiciat; quae ad Proavos nostros ideo recutrit, ut ma­jori cum impetu ad Nepotes prosiliat. Ut Gratitudo i­gitur nostra coaetanea sit beneficiis vestris, qui tres aetat [...] beas, tertium hominum ae [...]em vivas. Gratulamur ig [...]ur Patronum nostrum, quem dum gratulamur fuisse, usque gratulamur sore: quicquid enim gratiarum hodi­erni Clientes non ab solvimus, posteris adimplendum re­linquemus,

Dominationi vestrae maximè obnoxii Magister & Socii Coll. D. I.

Ad Episeopum Lincolniensem.

Reverende Praesul;

LIteras vestras ad Doctorem datas, & ad nos tan­quam haeredes secundae cerae delatas, ut amoris vestri clementiam gratulamur! Consulto siquidem Am­plitudinis tuae refringis radios, priusquam ad imbellem nostrum aciem pervenirent. Solem in unda spectamus faciles, quem in orbe suo non sine lippitudine sustinemus. Quae fuit scribendi; utinam eadem esset responsi metho­dus, ut excusatione ad alium traduce peteremus veniam, & vicario rubore delictum nostrum fateremur. Quan­quam si penitius causam excutias, peccamus magis quod deprecamur, & majori obsequio rebelles fuimus, quàm morigeri essemus. Quid enim aliud est peregrinum as­ciscere, quam sanguinem vestrum exhaeredem facere. Collegium mater abdicat suos, si adoptet alienos. Si Tros Tyrius (que) nullo discrimine, Tyrius, vel in propriis penatibus erit inquilinus. Ergóne degener tan­dem vestra familia, & desiderat indigenas honoribus pa­res. Erubescendum opprobrium! & dignum quod tan­tus Mecaenas experiundo refutaret. Habet igitur quod imputet Collegium, non quod defendat; si enim in hoc peccet, quod sobolem suam habeat charissimam, jussu naturae peccat, vestris peccat sub auspiciis! pertinaciori enim amplexu fovet filios, quia fatres tuos: Fratres dicimus, & satis cum superbia repetimus, ita enim cu­ra vestra profitetur Patrem, amor Fratrem; ut non Oe­dipus majori cum aenigmate sceleratus fuerit, quam tu pius Matris Maritus, & Fratrum Pater. Veneramur igitur Patris & Fratris mixturam dulcem. Solvimus [Page 163] quas debemus gratias, & magis debemus solutas. Est beneficii Mantissa gratias admittere, praesertim nostras quales receptas in damno potes deputare,

Quos Paternitas vestra habet mancupi Magister & Seniores Coll. D. Ioan.

Ad Episcopum Lincolniensem tunc temporis ò carcere laxatum.

CUjus laborantes fortunas pari animorum deliquio diu expressimus, ne graveris si ejus redivivo ju­bare experrecti triumphemus: hodie enim est quod vi­vimus postliminio, & in vindiciis honoris vestri, quot­quot sumus, Virbii. Siquidem in moerorè vestro, quid aliud fuit vita nostra quam nocturna lucubratio, & occidenti tuo. superesse quam in gratiis Naturae vivere? Sed salva res est. Reddidit diem redux Phosphorus; & post tanta cum Astris jurgia, Collegium Mater jam tandém fatetur Coelos. Incassum Tubas fatigarunt Veteres, ut Eclipsin redimerent. Alma mater suspiriis suis magis sonoris prostigavit vestram; scilicet hic fuit foelicitatis vestrae somnus, qui tantum abest, ut illam extingueret, ut reficiat potius & alacriorem reddat. Eccum tibi majorem mundum tuum ad exemplar composi­tum; vel (si mavis dictum) luce & tenebris distin­ctum! Sol si perpetuus splenderet, nec Aram, nec Mystam haberet Persicam. Enimvero caligantes oculi nostri pacti sunt inducias cum fulgore vestro, quibus finitis ad pristinum redit seipsum. Aspicias quae sumus Clientum n [...]mina, & agnoscas tot radios à luminoso tuo corpore diffusos; nihil enim de nostro habemus. Percurras singulos, & videas teipsum exiliorem semper ad modum, sed modo plenius, modo angustius, pro va­riâ speculorum indole repercussum; atque hinc est quod Imaginem vestram, tanquam Collegii Palladium, inter Archiva recondimus; ut mater enixa sobolem ad pictu­ram sistat, vultus comparet, & ita umbrâ vestrâ, plusquam splendore Phoebi, distinguat pullos. Gratu­ [...]ur igitur vel nostro nomine novas hasce honorum in­duvias: [Page 165] Vivas in posterum fortunâ major. Ingens vester animus, tanquam illud aeternum jecur, indigne­tur vulturem, quo magis consumitur, augeatur magis, & inter ipsos invidiae molares crescat virtus. Ita vovemus,

Paternitati vestrae quam maximè obnoxii Mag. & Socii Coll. D. I.

Ad eundem jam factum Archiepiscopum Eboracensem.

USque & usque quod gratulamur si molesti simus, utinam indies cresceret peccandi materia. Pie­tas officii non metuit Cramben, sed vestri honoris aemu­la indignatur Non ultra. Quin placeat igitur nostris, in literis fortunas tuas ruminare, & prolixioris calami gutture (quod Philoxenus gruino voluit) repetere da­pum voluptatem. Neque retro tantum gaudemus, pren­samus sinciput, & in futurum gratulamur: providè factum & tempestivè; cò enim perrexit virtus vestra, ut si paulutum promoveat, humanos limites supergressus eris ineffabilis. At luxat nobis animos divinus horror, oum sacra facturis eminus, & splendor vester & subli­mitas obversentur. Nictat Religio quae veneratur So­lem, & tremore Luminum fatetur Deum. Eadem est nostra oculorum Conscientia, qui radios vestros non sine visûs crepusculo sustinemus. Nec minus sublimitatem vestram luimus; siquidem sacrificantium Zelus, tan­quam flamma Sacrificii, quò magis ascendit, eò magis trepidat. Sed Optimus emollis Maximum. Clementia vestra disputat cum Amplitudine, & hac amicissima lite, (quasi totius Naturae puerperium) officium nostrum est oriundum. Ignoscimus Fatis immodestiam suam, quicquid adversi contingit, ut favoris insidias imputamus. Scilicet recurrere videbantur fortunae vestrae, ut fortius prosilirent. Comprobavit exitus ingenium commenti. Militans Ecclesia jam triumphat in promulside; & fluctuans, ut olim Arca, tandem in montibus requiescit. Non amplius Collegium Mater Canos lacerat, nec facit suâ computat miserias. Musae, quibus vivere fuit Hy­perbole, nunc audent vigere; quippe Altitudo vestra [Page 167] (ut Niliaca Aegypti) fertilitatem Literarum omina­tur. Enimvero cum Astra sint foelicitatis nostrae con­di-promi; quid est quod à Superis non expectemus, Patrono nostro in hac Syderum vicinia collocato? Oran­dus igitur es, Archi-Praesul Dignissime, ut ambitionem nostram serò sisteres, ut honores vestros subinde catena­res, & cum supremum fortunae gradum conscenderis, nec dum terminetur Climax vestra, Coelum superest.

Dominationi vestrae Devotissimi Mag. & Socii Coll. D. I.

Epistola Gratulatoria ad Episcopum Dunel­mensem, qui in Bibliothecam Iohannensem saepius suit Beneficus.

Reverende Praesul;

QUamvis ea sic Liberalitatis vestrae divina indoles, ut prodesse malit quam agnosci, ea nostrae Talio­nis paupertas, quae nec illam debita gratitudine metiri valeat, nolumus tamen donis lacessiti alternas deserere, sed Amoebaeo gratiarum obsequio humanitati vestrae suc­cinere. Erubescimus quidem hunc imparem congressum, ubi tam frequentia volumina unico gratulatorio Indice colligimus; & quae Bibliotheca vix capit, exiguis Epistolii pellibus arctare cogimur. Quotus enim es Mecoenas noster? Quam atavis erga nos beneficiis e­ditus? qui ita annuus in teipsum redis, ita [...] beneficia repetis, ac si novissima quaeque munera recenti­ori fulgore castigares. Quotuplicem igitur veneramur eundem Patronum? qui ut caeteris omnibus praeripuit ae­mulationis secundas, ita nec sibi ipsi concedit primas; sed variatis subinde amoris indiciis seipsum vicit; nec diu erit quin ipsam victoriam captivam ducet. Esuri­ens modo Theca nostra ita benignitate vestrâ extendit fauces, ut si qua hujusmodi satius posset capi, à crapulâ proprior quàm à fame abesset. Solvimus igitur quas debemus gratias, & usque debemussolutas, dapibus tuis Helluones accedimus; Libris & Honori vestro pariter incumbimus; ita enim commodum nostrum & observantia vestri mutuo nexu alligantur, ut quo [Page 169] [...]que doctiores erimus, eo Munificentiae vestrae magis [...]ores.

Dominationi vestrae quam maxime devinctissimi Mag. & Socii Seniores Coll. D. I.

Ad eundem Episcopum Dunelmensem.

Reverende Praesul, Mecoenas unice;

TAm frequentia sunt erga nos beneficia vestra, [...] perpetuis Choreis in orbem acta, ut ducat ilia g [...] titudo nostra, nec anhela tamen Liberalitati tantae [...] pondere possit. Literae enim nostrae quid aliud sunt q [...] humanitatis vestrae Echo? ita dimidiata loquuntur [...] ce, nec nisi ultimas ejus syllabas possunt repetere. Q [...] sum autem meditamur gratias, quas ne impune usq [...] egimus, quin nova subinde in vindictam surgit M [...] ficentia. Nolumus tamen, nolumus inulti cedere, [...] qùe rebelles in obsequio erimus, & quo unico tam di [...] nam indolem ulcisci possumus, munera vestra agnos [...] mus. Desponsasti tibi Bibliothecam nostram (ut R [...] manis usus) per coemptionem, quae singulas libro [...] frontes mariti nomine inscripta, tanquam victuro g [...] Posteritati commendatur. Unum autem prae omn [...] Amplitudini vestrae debemus librum, illum volumus [...] morem Patronorum indicem, qui scriptus & in terg [...] nec dum finitus, nomen tuum, ut utramque ejus pag [...] nam summâ cum lubentiâ recordatur.

Paternitati vestrae devotissimi Magister & Socii Coll. D. I▪

[...]mino Edvardo Littleton, Sigilli Custodi.

Honoratissime Domine,

QUod fortunas vestras infimi homines eminus gratu­lamur, peccamus de industria, ut scias commu­ [...] laetitiam inde perceptam, vel ad Reipublicae talos [...]cendisse, Caput ubi lauro circundatur, triumphant pedes. Obtinet idem membrorum foedus, ut quic­ [...]d tibi accedit decoris, illud ut nostrum gaudeamus: [...] nostrum modò cum caeteris, habemus quod soli & [...]arivales gloriemur. Cum enim pro humanitate quâ [...]es maximâ, Collegium nostrum non it a pridem invi­ [...]es (parce dicto cui vestra Comitas fecit fidem) [...]ptasse tibi Matrem videbaris; sed privatam super­ [...]m interpellat publica, & Gratulatio nostra ad Patriae [...]um est annectenda. Quae ante fluitavit Delos [...]ula, nato Apolline stetit immota; olim fabula, [...]t olim Historia. Reservavit se tibi fluctuans [...]glia Tridente tuo componenda. Nec nobis diutiús [...]ngit animum Antecessoris fatum, quod in ignotâ [...]enâ jaceat Palinurus; alter erit jam Typhis; [...] decumanae quae illum absorpsit und [...] te propriús [...] Coelos [...]ollet. Blandius aequor nemo non facile [...]deratur, ut non nisi mare turbidum est periculum dignum. Enimvero placent discordiae hac merce­ [...], ut consilio tuo sopiantur; tanti enim est vestrum [...]egimen, ut majora pateremur. Macte igitur, [...]eros ter maxime, triplici omine, ut Militans Eccle­sia [Page 172] te agnoscat Scutum, nutans Academia Scipi [...] Laborans Britannia Statorem Jovem.

Honori vestro quam maxime deditissimi Magister & 5 [...] Coll. D. I.

Edvardo Herbert, Domino Herbert de Cherbury.

Honoratissime ex utro (que) Domine,

QUod vestras graviores [...] as importuno officio inter­calamus, peccamn magis si deprecemur: rapis e­ [...]im ad illud obsequium tui plenos, & tanto afflati numi­ [...]e videmur nobis non posse delinquere. Enimvero [...]adem nobis agendi grati [...] quae tibi premer endi incumbit [...]ecessitas, & Gratitudo nostra, ut [...]t audacior, in hoc [...]altem erit innocen [...], quod à Liberali [...]te vestrâ fu [...] [...]dux. Accepimus libro [...] tuos & Tues, geminos [...]stos purioris Tue Minervae Filio [...]. O quam (ut ne [...]id amplius) fatentur Patrein! Be [...]ae, ad [...]culum, Musae, quod [...]itra Literarum decliv [...], cum Artium [...]gula moliatur Aetas, ipse emineas Scientiae Columen & Destina Veritatis. Libros dum legimus, legimus Unum Duos. Quàm pulchrè patrissant Volumina! Quàm gemellos tuos Honores referunt! Scilicet, Bilex est vestra nobilitas, Liceris & Stemmate intertexta. He­licon sanguinis tibi fuit in venis, non minor eruditio­nis quàm Natalium Claritas. Amplectimur igitur hos Fratres in anum, & parentem suum ut Unum nobiles [...]eneramur. Sed incassum gratias meditamur, quas magnitudo beneficii ita provocat, ut simul extinguat. Sic vidimus Solem ignem accendere, & fortiori radio sopire denuò.

Domine, Honori vestro quam Devotissimi.

Ad Doctorem Newall.

Dignissime,

NEscimus enim quali compellemus nomine, que [...] maternus Collegii amor scribit Filium, misera [...] let patronum, penes tuam erit benevolentiam, & M [...] ­trem agnoscere, & Clientem reddere: Bibliotheca & Sacellum precantur à Symbolis, & jugali quadam cala­mitate vestram attrahunt liberalitatem. O quam ido­neum nactus es Argumentum, & doctum te profiteri & pium; nec in tuis ipsius virtutibus sistere, sed & nostrarum Artificem esse! Age igitur, Mecaenas. uni [...], & ubi divinam tuam benefaciendi indolem (cui [...] Epistola habet parem Suadam) perlegeris, nullus dubi­t [...] quin usque erimus, qui sumus Munificenti [...] vestra memores,

Magister & Socii Coll. D. I.

Ad Magistrum Wandesforth.

QUin & nos admittis ad hoc gaudii convivium? Commendat epulas rivalis Stomachus, quas soli­taria quad [...]a reddit insipidas. Liceat nobis commensa­ [...]es esse felicitatis tuae, & in cemmunis Triumphi cho­ [...]um accedere. Quorsum autem supplices eramus, quod jure nostro possumies exposcere? Ea gaudemus gratis quae [...]on solliciti ambimus: ubi vero vota nuncupavimus; [...]bi sedulis precibus Candidati fuimus, non immerito victoriae laetitiam arrogamus. Namque nupera est haec voluptas nostra; diu est quod extispices egimus virtu­ [...]um tuarum, & in illis meritis honores providimus se­cuturos. Nec dum clauduntur oculi: Mater Collegium [...]sque agit Sibyllam; perge va [...]cinium fortunâ indies [...]iridi comprobare; perge Johannensem Genium agnosce­ [...]e; perge denique eò assurgere, ut Mater tua nequent (quod Parentum erga Liberos conspicilla praestant) majori sub specie represemare filium. Sed ne nimii, ubi satis multi non possumus; inter virtutes tuos & recentes ho­ [...]ores perpetuas vovemus nundinas, qui serio tibi hoc no­ [...]issimum decus gratulamur,

Magister & Socii Coll. D. I.

[Page 176] UBi aurita satis est filii pietas, ibi vel tacitae ma­tris est loquax paupertas, ita alacris gratitudo non expecta [...] preces, sed in also silentio cognatae [...]dit ejulatum miseri [...]. Collegium quod vestrum [...]tavit a­dolescentium, vestra v [...]cissim desiderat ubera, & quem in [...]nu fovit juvenem, atatis agnoscit baculum, & pa­rente [...] Scipionem; Bi [...] perimus dum Squallorem repeti­mu [...], & alti [...] cogimur facere notius, quod ipse nesc [...]re mal [...]us: primitiae doloris nostri Deo sunt debit [...], eo scilicet angustiarum redigimur, ut Sacellum in Sacello qu [...]ramus, nec inveniamus tamen: Quod aliis igitur praesidiis contigit, ut ara [...] occupent, Sacellum sibi inter­dictum doler, nisi El [...]emosynas quas ipsum erogare solet ab aliis accipi [...]t? Habemus capsulam, penes [...] est [...] dicamus Bibliothecam. O Quantum hoc mane nostrum! [...] Augusta domus, tampaucos inquilinos? Quam pul­chrum esset araneas deturbare? Quam [...]e dignum [...] pu [...]amini congr [...]um adaptare n [...]leum Agat prout velit liber ali [...] [...], quod pressius à nobis dictum [...]uit [...] [...]ùs exponat, optimum enim ipse Oratorem ages, & simul tibi quam maxime devincies

Magistrum & Socios Coll. D. I.

Vinum est Poetarum Equus.

URbs Athenae cum fundaretur, Neptunus & Mi­nerva litigarunt uter Civitatem haberet cognomi­nem, pactum est ut qui majori beneficio humanum genus ditare posset, Urbem nominaret; Neptunus Equum, Pallas Olivam produxit, unde victrix Athenas nomina­vit. Quod si meo judicio stetisset lis, si Neptunus ta­lis Equi, qualis est vinum Author fuisset, dignus sanè qui matri Academiae dedisset nomen. Vinum Equus, à cujus ungula dulcior fons quam Hippocrene scaturiit. Equus, qui plures alas ingenio addit, quam Pegasus ad volatile remigium accommodavit, qui labra proluit hoc fonte Caballino, non mirum si in proximo versu Ebrius in bicipiti somniavit Pernasso. Vinum Equus, sed qui sessorem suum saepe excutit, & ad terram affligit, qui tanquam ille Diomedis herum suum devorat, Pitissant poetastri & longa quasi arundine equitant, cum Ennius ipse pater, nunquam nisi potus ad arma prosiliit dicenda. Horatius toties equitavit, ac si vinum tanquam Buce­phalus neminem praeter illum vectare debuisset. Deni­que ex hujus equi utero plures prodierunt Ingenii heroes quam ex Trojana, Vinum Equus, at Cervisia Musa­rum Mulus, majori ex parte Asinus, vel si Equus Suc­cessor potius quàm tolutarius, quam non citius nomino quin stupidus obmutesco. Sed tempus est ut Equus meus habenas audiat, huc usque Equo vestro paravi Ephippia tenui stupa, ut vos conscenderetis: Unicum est quod singulos velim praemonitos, ea est hujus Equi ferocia, ut sobrium illud Phoebi Consilium sit maturum, Parce puer stimulis & fortiùs utere loris.

FINIS.

[Page] JOHN CLEAVELAND'S Revived POEMS, Orations, EPISTLES, And other of his Genuine INCOMPARABLE PIECES Now at last Published from his Original Copies by some of his intrusted Friends.

Non norunt haec monumenta mori.

LONDON, Printed by R. Holt, for Obadiah Blagrave, at the Bear in St. Paul's Church-yard. 1687.

To the HECTORS, upon the unfortunate death of H. COMPTON.

YOu Hectors! tame Professors of the Sword!
Who in the chair state Duels, whose black word
Bewitches Courage, and like Devils too
Leaves the bewitch'd, when't comes to fight and do.
Who on your errand our best Spirits send,
Not to kill Swine or Cows, but Man and Friend;
Who are in whole Court-Martial in your drink,
And dispute Honour, when you cannot think
Not orderly, but part out Valour, as
You grow inspir'd by th' Oracle of the Glass:
Then (like our zeal-drunk Presbyters) cry down
All Law of Kings and God, but what's their own.
Then y'have the gift of Fighting, can discern
Spirits, who's fit to act, and who to learn;
Who shall be baffled next, who must be beat,
Who kill'd, that you may drink, and swear and eat:
Whilst you applaud those murthers which you teach,
And live upon the Wounds your Riots preach.
Meer booty Souls! Who bid us fight a Prize
To feast the Laughter of our Enemies?
Who shout, and clap at Wounds, count it pure Gain,
Meer Providence to hear a Compton's slain.
[Page 182] A name they dearly hate, and justly; shou'd
They lov't 'twere worse, their love would taint the bloud.
Bloud always true, true as their Swords and Cause,
And never vainly lost, till your wild Laws
Scandal'd their actions in this Person, who
Truly durst more than you dare think to do.
A man made up of Graces, every Move
Had entertainment in it, and drew Love
From all but him who kill'd him, who seeks a Grave
And fears a Death more shameful than he gave.
Now you, dread Hectors! you whom Tyrant drink
Drags thrice about the Town; what do you think?
(If you be sober) is it Valour? say!
To overcome, and then to run away.
Fie, fie, your lusts and Duels both are one,
Both are repented of as soon as done.

The Scots Apostasie.

IS't come to this? What shall the Cheeks of Fame,
Stretch with the breath of learned London's name
Be flag'd again? And that great piece of sense,
As rich in Loyalty and Eloquence,
Brought to the Test, be found a trick of State?
Like Chymists tinctures, prov'd adu terate?
The Devil sure, such language did atchieve,
To cheat our unforewarned Grand am Eve;
As this Impostor found out, to besot
Th' experienc'd English to believe a [...]cot.
Who reconcil'd the Covenant's doubtful sence;
The Commons argument, or the Cities pence?
Or did you doubt Persistance in one good
Would spoil the fabrick of your Brotherhood,
[Page 179] Projected first in such a forge of sin,
Was fit for the grand Devils hammering?
Or was't Ambition that this damned fact
Should tell the world you know the sins you act?
The Infamy this Super-treason brings
Blasts more than murders of your sixty Kings;
A Crime so black, as being advis'dly done,
Those hold with these no competition.
Kings only suffer'd then; in this doth lie
Th' Assassination of Monarchy.
Beyond this sin no one step can be trod,
If not t'attempt deposing of your God.
Oh were you so engag'd, that we might see
Heavens angry Lightning' bout your Ears to flee,
Till you were shrivell'd to dust; and your cold Land
Parch'd to a drought beyond the Lybian Sand!
But 'tis reserv'd, till Heaven plague you worse:
Be Objects of an Epidemick Curse.
First, may your Brethren, to whose viler ends
Your Power hath bawded, cease to be your Friends;
And prompted by the dictate of their Reason,
Reproach the Traytors, though they hug the Treason.
And may their Jealousies increase & breed,
Till they confine your steps beyond the Tweed.
In Foreign Nations may your loath'd name be
A stigmatizing brand of Infamy;
Till forc'd by general hate, you cease to rome
The World, and for a Plague to live at home:
Till you resume your Poverty, and be
Reduc'd to beg where none can be so free
To grant; and may your scabby Land be all
Translated to a general Hospital.
Let not the Sun afford one gentle Ray,
To give you comfort of a Summers day;
[Page 184] But, as a Guerdon for your traiterous War,
Live cherish'd only by the Northern Star.
No Stranger deign to visit your rude Coast,
And be, to all, but banish'd men, as lost.
And such in heightning of the Intliction due,
Let provok'd Princes send them all to you.
Your State a Chaos be, where not the Law,
But Power, your lives and liberties may aw.
No Subject mongst you keep a quiet breast,
But each man strive through Bloud to be the best;
Till, for those miseries on us you've brought,
By your own Sword our just Revenge be wrought.
To sumn up all—let your Religion be,
As your Allegiance, mask'd Hypocrisie:
Until, when Charles shall be compos'd in dust,
Perfum'd with Epithets of good and just;
HE sav'd, incensed Heaven may have forgot
T'afford one act of Mercy to a Scot,
Unless that Scot deny himself, and do
(What's easier far) renounce his Nation too

Epitaph upon the Earl of Strafford

HEre lies wise and valiant Dust,
Huddled up 'twixt fit and just:
Strafford, who was hurried hence
'Twixt Treason and Convenience.
He spent his time here in a mist,
A Papist, yet a Calvinist.
His Prince's nearest Joy and Grief,
He had, yet wanted, all relief:
The Prop and Ruin of the State,
The peoples violent Love and Hate.
[Page 185] One in extreams lov'd and abhor'd.
Riddles lie here, and in a word,
Here lies Bloud, and let it lie
Speechless still, and never cry.

Epitaphium Thomoe Comitis Straffordii, &c.

phium.
EXurge Cinis, tuumque, solus qui potis es, scribe Epita-
Nequit Wentworthi non esse facundus vel Cinis.
Effare Marmor: & quem coepisti comprehendere,
Macte & Exprimere.
Candidius meretur urna, quam quod rubris
Notatum est literis, Elogium.
Atlas Regiminis Monarchici hic jacet lassus;
Secunda Orbis Britannici intelligentia,
Rex Politiae, & Prorex Hiberniae;
Straffordii, & Virtutum Comes:
Mens Jovis, Mercurii ingenium, & lingua Apollinis:
Cui Anglia Hiberniam debuit, seipsam Hibernia:
Sydus Aquilonicum; quo sub rubicunda vespera occidente,
Nox simul & dies visa est: dextroque oculo flevit,
Laevoque laetata est Anglia.
Theatrum Honoris, itemque Scena calamitosa Virtutis,
Actoribus, morbo, morte, & invidia,
Quae ternis animosa Regnis, non vicit tamen,
Sed oppressit.
Sic inclinavit Heros (non minus) Caput
Bellu [...] (vel sic) multorum Capitum.
Merces furoris Scotici, praeter pecunias.
Erubuit ut tetigit securis,
Similem quippe nunquam degustavit sanguinem.
Monstrum narro; fuit tam infensus Legibus,
Ut prius Legem quàm nata foret, violavit.
[Page 182] Hunc tamen non sustulit Lex,
Verum necessitas, non habens Legem.
Abi viator, caetera memorabunt posteri.

On J. W. A. B. of York.

SAy, my young Sophister, what thinkst of this?
Chimera's real, Ergo falleris.
The Lamb and Tyger, Fox and Goose agree,
And here concorp'rate in one Prodigy.
Call an Haruspex quickly: Let him get
Sulphur and Torches, and a Lawrel wet,
To purifie the place, for sure the harms
This Monster will produce, transcend his Charms.
'Tis Nature's Master-peice of Error, this;
And redeems whatever she did amiss
Before, from wonder and reproach, this last
Legitimateth all her By-blows past.
Loe here a general Metropolitan,
An Arch-Prelatique Presbyterian,
Behold his pious Garb, Canonick face,
A zealous Episco Mastix Grace;
A fair blew-Apron'd Priest, a Lawn-sleev'd Brother,
One Leg a Pulpit holds, a Tub the other.
Lets give him a sit name now, if we can,
And make th'Apostate once more Christian.
Proteus, we cannot call him; he put on
His change of shapes by a Succession:
Nor the Welch-Weather-cock; for that we find,
At once doth only wait upon the wind:
These speak him not; but if you'll name him right
Call him Religious Hermaphrodite.
His head i'th sanctified mould is cast,
Yet sticks th'abominable Miter fast.
[Page 183] He still retains the Lordship and the Grace,
And yet hath got a rèverend Elders place.
Such act must needs be his, who did devise
By crying Altars down to Sacrifise
To private Malice; where you might have seen
His Conscience holocausted to his Spleen.
Unhappy Church! The Viper that did share
Thy greatest Honours, helps to make thee bare,
And void of all thy dignities and store;
Alas! Thine own Son proves the forrest Boar:
And like the Dam-destroying Cuckow he,
When the thick shell of his Welch Pedigree,
By thy warm fost'ring Bounty did divide
And open, straight thence sprung forth Parricide.
As if'twas just revenge should be dispatch'd
In thee, by the Monster which thy self hath hatch'd.
Despair not though, in Wales there may be got,
As well as Lincolnshire an Antidote,
'Gainst the foul'st venom he can spit, though's head
Were chang'd from subtle gray to poys'nous red.
Heaven with propitious eyes will look upon
Our party, now the cursed thing is gone;
And chastise Rebels, who nought else did miss
To fill the measure of their sins, but his;
Whose foul imparallel'd Apostasie,
Like to his sacred Character shall be
Indelible; when Ages then of late
More happy grown with most impartial fate,
A period to his days, and time shall give,
He by such Epitaphs as this shall live!
Here Yorks great Metropolitan is lay'd,
Who Gods Anointed and his Church betray'd.

An Elegy upon Dr. Chaderton, the first Ma­ster of Emanuel Colledge in Cambridge being above an hundred years old whe [...] he died.
Occasioned by his long deferred Funeral

PArdon (dear Saint) that we so late
With lazy sighs bemoan thy fate;
And with anafter-shower of Verse,
And Tears, we thus bedew thy Herse:
Till now (alas!) we did not weep,
Because we thought thou didst but sleep:
Thou liv'dst so long, we did not know
Whether thou couldst now dye or no:
We look'd still, when thou shouldst arise,
And ope' the Casement of thine eyes:
Thy feet which have been us'd so long
To walk, we thought must still go on;
Thine ears after an hundred year,
Might now plead custom for to hear.
Upon thy head that reverend Snow
Did dwell some fifty years ago,
And then thy Cheeks did seem to have
The sad resemblance of a Grave.
Wert thou ere young! For truth I hold,
And do believe thou wert born old.
There's none alive I am sure can say
They knew thee young, but always gray:
And dost thou now, venerable Oak,
Decline at death's unhappy stroak!
[Page 189] Tell me (dear Son) why didst thou dye,
And leave's to write an Elegy?
We'are young (alas!) and know thee not,
[...]end up old Abraham and grave Lot:
Let them write thine Epitaph, and tell
The World thy worth, they ken'd thee well:
When they were Boys they heard thee preach,
And thought an Angel did them teach.
Awake them then, and let them come,
And score thy Virtues on thy Tomb;
That we at those may wonder more,
Than at thy many years before.

Mary's Spikenard.

SHall I presume
Without Perfume
My Christ to meet
That is all Sweet!
No, I'll make most pleasant Posies,
Catch the breath of new blown Roses;
Top the pretty merry flowers,
Which laugh in the fairest Bowers:
Whose Sweetness Heaven likes so well,
It stoops each morn to take a smell.
Then I'll fetch from the Phoenix nest
The richest Spices, and the best:
Precious Ointments I will make,
Holy Myrrh and Aloes take;
Yea, costly Spikenard, in whose smell
The Sweetness of all Odours dwell.
I'll get a Box to keep it in,
Pure as his Alabaster Skin.
[Page 186] And then to him I'll nimbly fly
Before one sickly minute dye:
This Box I'll break, and on his head,
This precious Ointment will I spread,
Till ev'ry lock, and every hair
For Sweetness with his breath compare:
But sure the Odour of his Skin
Smells sweeter than the Spice I bring.
Then with bended knee I'll greet
His holy and beloved Feet;
I'll wash them with a weeping Eye,
And then my Lips shall kiss them dry;
Or for a Towel he shall have
My hair, such flax as nature gave.
But if my wanton locks be bold,
And on thy sacred feet take hold,
And curl themselves about, as though
They were loth for to let thee go,
O chide them not, and bid away,
For then for grief they will grow gray.

CHRONOSTICON Decollatio­nis CAROLI Regis tricesimo die Ianua­rii, secunda hora Pomeridiana, Anno Dom. MDCXLVIII.
Ter Deno IanI Labens ReX SoLe CaDente CaroLVs eXvtvs SoLIo SCeptroqVe Se-Cvre.

CHARLES—ah! forbear, forbear, lest Mortals prize
His name too dearly, and Idolatrize.
His Name! Our Loss! Thrice cursed and forlorn
Be that Black Night which usher'd in this Morn.
CHARLES our Dread Soveraign!—hold! lest Out-law'd Sense
Bribe, and seduce tame Reason to dispense
With those Celestial powers; and distrust
Heav'n can behold such Treason, and prove Just.
CHARLES our Dread Soveraign's murther'd! tremble! and
View what Convulsions shoulder-shake this Land,
Court, City, Country, nay three Kingdoms run
To their last Stage, and set with him their Sun.
CHARLES our Dread Soveraign's murther'd at His Gate!
Fell fiends! dire Hydra's of a stiff-neck'd State!
[Page 194] Strange Body-politick! Whose Members spread,
And, Monster-like, swell bigger then their HEAD.
CHARLES of Great Britain! He! who was the known
King of three Realms, lies murther'd in his own.
He! He! Who liv'd, and Faith's Defender stood,
Dy'd here to re-Baptize it in his bloud.
No more, no more. Fame's Trump shall eccho all
The rest in dreadful Thunder. Such a Fall
Great Christendom ne'er pattern'd; and 'twas strange
Earth's Center reel'd not at this dismal Change.
The blow struck Brittain blind, each well-set Limb
By dislocation was lopt off in HIM.
And though she yet live's, she live's but to condole
Three Bleeding Bodies left without a Soul.
Religion put's on Black, sad Loyalty
Blushes and mourns to see bright Majesty
Butchered by such Assassinates; nay both
'Gainst God, 'gainst Law, Allegiance, and their Oath,
Farewell! sad Isle! Farewell! thy fatal Glory
Is Sum'd, Cast up, and Cancell'd in this Story.

AN ELEGY Upon King CHARLES the First, murthered publickly by his Subjects.

WEre not my Faith buoy'd up by sacred blood,
It might be drown'd in this prodigious flood;
Which Reasons highest ground do so exceed,
It leaves my Soul no Anch'rage, but my Creed;
Where my Faith resting on th'Original,
Supports it self in this the Copies fall;
So while my Faith floats on that Bloody wood,
My Reason's cast away in this Red flood,
Which ne'er o'reflows us all: Those Showers past
Made but Land-floods, which did some Vallies wast;
This stroke hath cut the only Neck of Land
Which between us, and this Red Sea did stand,
That covers now our World, which Cursed lies
At once with two of Egypts Prodigies;
O'er-cast with Darkness, and with bloud o'er-run
And justly, since our hearts have theirs outdone:
Th'lnchanter led them to a less known ill,
To act his sin, then 'twas their King to kill:
Which Crime hath widowed our whole Nation,
Voided all Forms, left but Privation
In Church and State; inverting ev'ry Right;
Brought in Hells State of fire without Light.
No wonder then, if all good eyes look red,
Washing their Loyal hearts from blood so shed;
The which deserves each pore should turn an eye,
To weep out, even a bloody Ago [...]y.
[Page 196] Let nought then pass for Musick, but sad Cries,
For Beauty bloudless Cheeks, and blood-shot Eyes,
All Colours soil but black, all Odours have
Ill scent but Myrrh, incens'd upon this Grave:
It notes a Iew, not to believe us much
The cleaner made by a religious Touch
Of their Dead Body, whom to judge to dye,
Seems the Judaical Impiety.
To kill the King, the Spirit Legion paints
His rage with Law, the Temple and the Saints:
But the truth is, He fear'd and did repine,
To be cast out, and back into the Swine:
And the case holds, in that the Spirit bends
His malice in this Act, against his ends:
For it is like, the sooner he'll be sent
Out of that body, He would still torment.
Let Christians then use otherwise this blood,
Detest the Act, yet turn it to their good;
Thinking how like a King of Death He dies;
We easily may the World and Death despise:
Death had no Sting for him, and its sharp Arm,
Only of all the Troop, meant him no harm.
And so he look'd upon the Axe, as one
Weapon yet left to guard him to his Throne;
In His great Name then may His Subjects cry,
Death thou art swallowed up in Victory.
If this our loss a comfort can admit,
'Tis that his narrow'd Crown is grown unfit
For his enlarged Head, since his distress
Had greatned this, as it made that the less;
His Crown was fallen unto too low a thing
For him who was become so great a King:
So the same hands enthron'd him in that Crown
They had exalted from him, not pull'd down:
[Page 197] And thus God's Truth by them hath rendred more
Than ere Mens falshood promis'd to restore;
Which, since by death alone he could attain,
Was yet exempt from Weakness, and from Pain.
Death was enjoyn'd by God to touch a part,
Might make his Passage quick, ne'er move his heart:
Which ev'n expiring was so far from death,
It seem'd but to command away his Breath.
And thus his Soul, of this her Triumph proud,
Broke, like a flash of Lightning, through the Cloud
Of Flesh and Blood; and from the highest Line
Of Humane Vertue, pass'd to be Divine.
Nor is't much less his Virtues to relate,
Than the high Glories of his present State;
Since both then pass all Acts but of Belief,
Silence may praise the one, the other Grief.
And since, upon the Diamond, no less
Than Diamonds, will serve us to impress,
[...]'ll only wish that for his Elegy,
This our Iosias had a Ieremy.

AN ELEGY [...]n The best of Men, The meekest of Martyrs, CHARLES the I. &c.

DOes not the Sun call in his Light; and Day
Like a thin Exhalation melt away?
[...]oth wrapping up their Beams in Clouds to be
Themselves close Mourners at the Obsequie
[...]f this Great Monarch? does his Royal Blood,
Which th'Earth late drunk in so profuse a Flood,
[Page 198] Not shoot through her affrightned Womb, and mak [...]
All her convulsed Arteries to shake
So long, till all those [...]hinges that sustain,
Like Nerves, the frame of Nature shrink again
Into a shuffled Chaos? Does the Sun
Not suck it from its liquid Mansion,
And Still it into vap'rous Clouds, which may
Themselves in hearded Meteors display,
Whose shaggy and disheveld Beams may be
The Tapers at this black Solemnity?
You Seed of Marble in the Womb accurst,
Rock'd by some Storm, or by some Tigress nurst,
Fed by some Plague, which in blind mists was hurl'd
To strew infection on the tainted World;
What Fury charm'd your hands to act a deed,
Tyrants to think on would not weep, but bleed?
And Rocks by Instinct so resent this Fact,
They'ld into Springs of easie tears be slack'd.
Say Sons of Tumult, since you think it good,
Still to keep up the Trade, and Bath in Bloud
Your guilty hands, why did you not then State
Your Slaughters at some cheap and common rate?
Your gluttonous and lavish Blades might have
Devoted Myriads to one publick Grave;
And lop'd off thousands of some base allay,
Whilst the same Sexton that inter'd their Clay,
In the same Urn their Names too might intomb:
But when on him you fixt your fatal Doom,
You gave a Blow to Nature, since even all
The Stock of Man now bleeds too in his fall.
Could not Religion, which you oft have made
A specious gloss your black designs to shade,
Teach you, that we come nearest Heaven, when [...]
Are suppled into Acts of Clemency?
[Page 199] And copy out the Deity agen,
When we distill our Mercies upon Men?
But why do I deplore this ruin? He
Only shook off his frail Humanity,
And with such Calmness fell, he seem'd to be,
Even less unmov'd and unconcern'd than we;
And forc'd us from our Throes of Grief to say,
We only dyed, he only liv'd that Day:
So that his Tomb is now his Throne become,
T'invest him with the Crown of Martyrdom:
And Death the shade of Nature did not shrowd
His Soul in Mists, but its clear Beams uncloud;
That who a Star in our Meridian shone,
In Heaven might shine a Constellation.

Upon the Death of CHARLES the First.

GReat! Good! And Just! Could I but rate
My Griefs, and thy too rigid Fate,
I'd weep the world to such a strain,
As it should Deluge once again.
But since thy loud-tongu'd Blood demands supplies,
More from Briareus hands, than Argus eyes,
I'll sing thy Obsequies, with Trumpet sounds,
And write thy Epitaph with Blood and Wounds.
MONTROSE.
Written with the Point of his Sword.

ADDITIONS.

The Publick Faith.

STand off my Masters: 'Tis your pence a piece,
Iason, Medea, and the golden Fleece;
What side the line, good Sir? Tygris, or Po!
Lybia? Iapan? Whisk? or Tradinktido?
St. Kits! St. Omer; or St. Margaret's Bay?
Presto begon? or come aloft? What way?
Doublets? or Knap? The Cog? low Dice? or high?
By all the hard names in the Litany,
Bell, Book and Candle, and the Pope's great Toe
I conjure thy account: Devil say no.
Nay since I must untruss, Gallants look too't
Keep your prodigious distance forty foot,
This is that Beast of Eyes in th' Revelations,
The Pasi [...]isk has twisted up three Nations.
Ponteus Hixius Doxius, full of Tricks,
The Lottery of the vulgar Lunaticks.
The Knap-Sack of the State, the thing you wish,
Magog and Gog stew'd in a Chaffingdish.
A Bag of Spoons and Whistles, wherein men
May whistle when they see their Plate agen.
Thus far his Infancy: His riper Age
Requires a more mysterious folio Page.
Now that time speaks him perfect, and 'tis pity
To dandle him longer in a close Committee.
[Page 201] The elf dares peep abroad, the pretty fool
Can wag without a truckling standing-stool;
Revenge his Mother's Infamy, and swear,
He's the fair Off-spring of one half-score year.
The Heir of the House and Hopes, the cry
And wonder of the People's Misery.
'Tis true, while as a Puppy it could play
For Thimbles, any thing to pass the day;
But now the Cub can count, arithmatize,
Clinck Masenello with the Duke of Guise;
Sign for an Irish Purchase, and traduce
The Synod from their Doctrine to their Use;
Give its Dam suck, and a hidden way
Drink up arrears a tergo mantica.
An Everlasting Bale, Hell in Trunk-hose,
Uncased, the Devil's Don Quixot in Prose.
The Beast and the false Prophet twin'd together,
The squint-ey'd Emblem of all sorts of Weather.
The refuse of that Chaos of the Earth,
Able to give the World a second Birth.
Africk avaunt! Thy trifling Monsters glance
But Sheeps-eyed to this Penal Ignorance.
That all the Prodigies brought forth before
Are but Dame Natures blush left on the score.
This strings the Bakers dozen, christens all
The cross-leg'd hours of time since Adam's Fall.
The Publick Faith? Why 'tis a word of kin,
A Nephew that dares Cousin any sin.
A term of Art, great Behemoth's younger Brother,
Old Machiavel, and half a thousand other.
Which when subscrib'd writes Legion, names on truss,
Abaddon, Beelzebub, and Incubus;
All the Vice-Roys of Darkness, every Spell
And Fiend wrap'd in a short Trissillable.
[Page 202] But I fore-stall the Show. Enter and see,
Salute the Door, your Exit shall be free.
In brief 'tis called Religions Ease, or Loss,
For no one's suffered here to bear his Cross.

A Lenten Litany.
Composed for a confiding Brother, for the bene­fit and edification of the faithful Ones.

FRom Villany drest in the doublet of Zeal,
From three Kingdoms bak'd in one common-we [...]
From a gleek of Lord Keepers of one poor▪ Seal
Libera nos, &c.
From a Chancery-Writ, and a Whip and a Bell,
From a Justice of Peace that never could spell,
From Collonel. [...]. and the Vicar of Hell
Libera nos, &c.
From Neat's feet without socks & three▪penny Pyes,
From a new-sprung light that will put out ones eyes,
From Goldsmiths Hall, the Devil and Excise
Libera nos, &c.
From two hours talk without one word of sense,
From Liberty still in the future tense,
From a Parliament long-wasted Conscience,
Libera nos, &c.
[Page 203] From a Coppid Crown-Tenent prick'd up by a Bro­ther
[...]rom damnable Members and fits of the Mother,
[...]rom Ears like Oysters that grin at each other,
Libera nos, &c.
[...]rom a Preacher in buff, and a quarter staff-Steeple,
[...]rom th'unlimited Soveraign Power of the People,
[...]rom a Kingdom that crawls on its knees like a
Creeple, Libera nos, &c.
From a Vinegar Priest on a Crab-tree stock,
From a foddering of Prayer four hours by the Clock,
From a Holy Sister with a pittiful Smock,
Libera nos, &c.
From a hunger starv'd Sequestrators maw,
From Revelations and Visions that never man saw,
From Religion without either Gospel or Law
Libera nos, &c.
From the Nick and Froth of a Penny Pot-house,
From the Fiddle and Cross, and a great Scotch Louse,
From Committees that chop up a man like a Mouse,
Libera nos, &c.
From broken Shins and the Bloud of a Martyr,
From the Titles of Lords and Knights of the Garter,
From the Teeth of mad-dogs and a Countrymans quarter
Libera nos, &c.
From the Publick Faith and an Egg and Butter,
From the Irish Purchases and all their Clutter,
From Omega's Nose, when he settles to sputter,
Libera nos, &c.
[Page 204] From the Zeal of old Harry lock'd up with a Whore,
From waiting with plaints at the Parliament door,
From the Death of a King without why or where­fore
Libera nos, &c.
From the French Disease and the Puritan fry,
From such as ne'er swear but devoutly can lye,
From cutting of Capers full three story high,
Libera nos, &c.
From painted Glass and Idolatrous Cringes,
From a Presbyters Oath that turns upon Hinges,
From Westminster Iews with Levitical Fringes,
Libera nos, &c.
From all that is said, and a thousand times more,
From a Saint and his Charity to the poor,
From the Plagues that are kept for a Rebel in store,
Libera nos, &c.

The Second part.

THat if it please thee to assist
Our Agitators and their List,
And Hemp them with a gentle twist,
Quaesumus te, &c.
That it may please thee to suppose
Our actions are as good as those
That gull the People through the Nose,
Quaesumus te, &c.
[Page 205] That it may please thee here to enter
And fix the rumbling of our Center,
For we live all at Peradventure,
Quaesumus te, &c.
That it may please thee to unite
The Flesh and Bones unto the Sprite,
Else Faith and Literature good night,
Quaesumus te, &c.
That it may please thee O that we
May each man know his Pedigree,
And save that Plague of Heraldry,
Quaesumus te, &c.
That it may please thee in each Shire,
Cities of Refuge Lord to rear
That failing Brethren may know where,
Quaesumus te, &c.
That it may please thee to abhor us,
Or any such dear favour for us,
That thus hath wrought thy Peoples Sorrows,
Quaesumus te, &c.
That it may please thee to embrace
Our days of thanks and fasting face,
For robbing of thy holy place,
Quaesumus te, &c.
That it may please thee to adjourn
The day of Judgment, least we burn,
For lo! It is not for our turn,
Quaesumus te, &c.
[Page 206] That it may please thee to admit
A close Committee there to sit,
No Devil to a humane wit!
Quaesumus te, &c.
That it may please thee to dispence
A little for convenience,
Or let us play upon the sense,
Quaesumus te, &c.
That it may please thee to embalm
The Saints in Robin Wisdom's Psalm,
And make them musical and calm,
Quaesumus te, &c.
That it may please thee since 'tis doubt,
Satan cannot throw Satan out,
Unite us and the High-land rout,
Quaesumus te, &c.

A Hue and Cry after the Reformation.

VVHen Temples lye like batter'd Quarrs
Rich in their ruin'd Sepulchers;
When Saints forsake their painted Glass
To meet their Worship as they pass;
When Altars grow luxurious with the dye
Of humane blood,
Is this the Flood
Of Christianity?
When Kings are cup-boarded like Cheese,
Sights to be seen for pence a piece;
When Diadems like brokers tire
Are custom'd Reliques set to hire;
[Page 207] When Soveraignty and Scepters loose their Names,
Stream'd into words,
Carv'd out by Swords,
Are these refining Flames?
When Subjects and Religion stir
Like Meteors in the Metaphor;
When zealous hinting and the yawn
Excise our Miniver and Lawn,
When blue digressions fill the troubled Air
And th'Pulpit's let
To every Set
That will usurp the Chair:
Call ye me this the Night's Farewell
When our Noon Day's as dark as Hell?
How can we less then term such Lights
Ecclesiastick Heteroclites?
Bold Sons of Adam when in Fire you crawl
Thus high to be
Perch'd on the Tree,
Remember but the Fall.
Was it the Glory of a King
To make him great by Suffering?
Was there no way to build God's House
But rendring of it Infamous?
If this be then the merry ghostly Trade?
To work in Gall?
Pray take it all
Good Brother of the Blade.
Call it no more the Reformation
According to the new Translation:
Why will you wrack the common Brain
With words of an unwonted Strain?
[Page 208] As Plunder? or a Phrase in Senses cleft;
When things more nigh
May well supply
And call it down-right Theft.
Here all the School-men and Divines
Consent, and swear the naked Lines
Want no expounding or contest,
Or Bellarmine to break a jest.
Since then the Heroes of the Pen with me
Nere scrue the Sense
With difference,
We all agree agree.

A Committee.

CAst Knaves my Masters, Fortune guide the chance
No packing I beseech you, no by-glance
To mingle Pairs, but fairly shake the Bag,
Cheats in their Spheres like subtil spirits wag.
Or if you please the Cards run as they will.
There is no choice in sin and doing ill.
Then happy Man by's dole, Luck makes the odds
He acts most high that best out-dares the Gods.
These are that Raw-bon'd Herd of Pharaoh's Kine
Which eat up all your Fatlings, yet look lean:
These are the after-claps of bloody Showers,
Which, like the Scots, come for your gude and yours;
The Gleaners of the Field, where, if a man
Escape the Sword that milder Frying-pan,
He leaps into the Fire, cramping the Claws
Of such can speak no English but the Cause.
Under that foggy term, that Inquisition,
Y'are wrackt at all Adventures On Suspicion.
[Page 209] No matter what's the Crime, a good Estate's
Delinquency enough to ground their hate.
Nor shall calm Innocence so scape, as not
To be made guilty, or at least so thought.
And if the Spirit once inform, beware,
The Flesh and World but Renegadoes are.
Thus once concluded out the Teazers run,
All in full Cry and Speed till Wat's undone.
So that a poor Delinquent fleec'd and torn
Seems like a Man that's creeping through a Horn,
Find a smooth Entrance, wide and fit, but when
Hee's squeez'd and forc'd up through the smaller end,
He looks as gaunt and pin'd, as he that spent
A tedious twelve years in an eager Lent,
Or Bodies at the Resurrection are
On Wing, just rarifying into Air.
The Emblem of a Man, the pittied Case
And shape of some sad Being once that was.
The Type of Flesh and Bloud, the Skeleton
And Superficies of a thing that's gone.
The Winter quarter of a Life, the Tinder
And Body of a Corps squeez'd to a Cinder;
When no more Tortures can be thought upon,
Mercy shall flow into Oblivion.
Merciful Hell! Thy Judges are but three,
Ours multiform, and in Plurality!
Thy calmer Censures flow without Recall,
And in one Doom Souls see their Final all.
We travel with expectance: Sufferings here
Are but the Earnests of a second Fear.
Thy Pains and Plagues are infinite; 'tis true
Ours are not only Infinite but new.
So that the Dread of what's to come exceeds
The Anguish of that part already bleeds.
[Page 210] This only difference swells 'twixt us and you,
Hell has the kinder Devils of the two.

On the happy Memory of Alderman Hoyle that hang'd himself.

ALL hail fair Fruit! may every Crab-tree bear
Such Blossoms, and so lovely every year!
Call ye me this the slip? 'Marry 'tis well,
Zacheus slip'd to Heaven, the Thief to Hell:
But if the Saints thus give's the slip, 'tis need
To look about us to preserve the Breed.
Th'are of the Running Game, and thus to post
In Nooses, blanks the Reckning with their Host.
Here's more than Trussum Cordum I suppose
That knit this knot: Guilt seldom singly goes!
A wounded Soul close coupled with the sence
Of Sin, pays home its proper Recompence.
But hark you Sir, if haste can grant the time?
See you the danger yet what 'tis to climb truss'd.
In Kings Prerogatives? things beyond just,
When Law seems brib'd to doom them, must be
But O'I smell your Plot strong through your Hose,
'Twas but to cheat the Hang-man of your Cloaths;
Else your more active Hands had fairly stay'd
The leasure of a Psalm, Iudas has pray'd.
But later Crimes cannot admit the Pause,
They run upon Effects more than the Cause.
Yet let me ask one Question, why alone?
One Member of a Corporation?
'Tis clear amongst Divines, Bodies and Souls
As joyntly active, so their Judgment rowls
Concordant in the Sentence; why not so
In Earthly Sufferings? States attended go.
[Page 211] But I perceive the knack: Old Women say
And be't approv'd, each Dog should have his day.
Hence sweep the Almanack: Lilly make room,
And blanks enough for the new Saints to come,
All in Red Letters: as their Faults have bin
Scarlet, so limb their Anniverse of Sin.
And to their Childrens Credits and their Wives
Be it still said, they leap fair for their lives.

Platonick Love.

BEgon fantastick Whimsey, hence begon!
I slight thy Dreams, I'm no Camelion,
Nor can I feed on Airy smoaky Blisses,
Or bait my strong Desire with Smiles and Kisses.
Old Tantalus as well may surfet on
The flying Streams by Contemplation.
Give me a minutes Heaven with my Love,
Where I may roul in Pleasure; far above
The Idle Fancy of the Soul's Embrace:
Where my swift hand may ravish all the Grace
Of Beauties Wardrobe, where the longing Bride
May feast her fill, yet ne'er be satisfied.
Blaspheme not Love with any other Name,
Than an enjoyment kindled from the Flame
Of panting Breasts mix'd in a sweet Desire
Of something more than barely to admire.
'Though Sighs and Signs may make the Pulses beat,
'Action's the Bellows that preserve the Heat.
If all Content were placed in the Eye,
And Thoughts compriz'd the whole Felicity?
[Page 212] Pictures might court each other and exchange
Their white-lime Looks, woo hard, and yet seem strange:
'No! Love requires a quick and home Embrace,
'Nor can it dwell for ever on the Face.
'What ever Glories Nature's tender Care
'Compiles to make a peice divinely rare,
'Th'are but the sweet Allurements of the Eye,
'Fix'd on a Stage to catch the Standers by.
'Or like rich Signs exposed to open Sight
'To tempt the Traveller to stay all Night.
Yield then my (chast Clarinda) once to see
The sweet Meander of Love's Liberty.
And seal thy thoughts a Grant to understand
The welcome Pleasure of a Wife well man'd.
For all the Sweets, mistaken in a Kiss,
Are but the empty Circumstance of this.
So shall a full Content wipe out the Score
Of all our Sorrows that have pass'd before.
Not a sad Sigh shall scape, unsatisfied
Which in its Master's Passion wept and died.
But like a Sea made subject to our Oares,
Wee'l hoise up Sail and touch the wished Shoars.

Christmass Day; Or the Shuttle of an inspired Weaver, bolted against the Order of the Church for its Sc­lemnity.

CHrist-m [...] Give me my beads: The word implies
A Plot, by its Ingredients Beef and Pyes!
A Feast Apocryphal, a Popish Rite
Kneaded in Dough (beloved) in the Night;
The Night (beloved) that's as much to say
(By late Translations) not in the Day.
An annual Dark-lanthorn Iubile,
Catesby and Vaux bak'd in Conspiracy.
The Hierarchy of Rome, the Triple Crown
Confess'd in Triangles then swallowed down,
With Spanish Sack? The eighty eight Armado
Newly presented in an Ovenado.
O Calvin! now my Cause upon thee fixes,
Were ere such dregs mix'd with Geneva sixes?
The cloyster'd-Steaks with Salt and Pepper lie
Like Nuns with patches in a Monastry.
Prophaness in a Conclave? nay much more
Idolatry in crust! Babylon's Whore
Rak'd from the Grave, and bak'd by Hanches, then
Serv'd up in Coffins to unholy Men
Defil'd with Superstition like the Gentiles
Of old, that worship'd Onions, Roots and Lentiles!
Did ever Iohn of Leyden prophecy
Of such an Antichrist as Pudding-pye?
[Page 214] Beloved 'tis a thing when it appears,
Enough to set the Saints all by the Ears,
In solving of the Text, a doubtful Sin
Reformed Churches ne'er consented in.
But hold (my Brethren) while I preach and pray
Methinks the Manna melts and wasts away.
I am a man as all you are, have read
Of Peter's Sheet, how he devoutly fed
Without Exception; therefore to dispence
A little with the Worm of Conscience
And bend unto the Creature, I prof [...]
Zeal and a Pye may join both in a Mess.
The dearest Sons may er [...], then why a Sinner
May I not eat? Since Hugh eat three to Dinner?

Piae Memoriae
Doctiss. Reverendissimique in Christo Patris, Iohannis Prideaux quam-novissime Wigor­nioe Episcopi, harumque tristissime lacrima­rum Patroni nec non defuncti.

BUsta struant alii, l [...]crymisque altare refundant,
Quorum tristitia fata pianda cadu [...]t.
Talia praecurant cineres monumenta pusilli,
Queis melos & tumu [...]um fama gemenda perit.
Hic neque pyramidum, nec inertis monstra colossi
Poscuntur, subito corruitura die.
Gloria securi confidentissima C [...]li
Non vocat haecstellis astra minora suis.
Sic tuus ascendit currus, dignissime Praesul,
Terreni miserans futile honoris onus.
[Page 215] Sed vae Zodiaco nostro, vae (Phoebe) trementi,
Ortus enim patriae lux tenebraeque fuit.
In te floruimus, tecum decerpimur omnes
Et Pater & gnati: Molliter ossa cubent.
Parva tegant tenues & aperti funera fletus,
Tanta ruant superis damna silenda metu.

Obsequies.
On the Right Reverend Father in God, John Prideaux, late Bishop of Worcester deceased.

IF by the fall of Luminaries, we
May safely guess the World's Catastrophe;
The signs are all fulfill'd, the Token's flown,
(That scarce a man has any of his own:)
Only the Iews Conversion some doubt bred,
But that's confuted now the Doctor's dead.
Great Atlas of Religion! Since thy fate
Proclaims our loss too soon, our tears too late,
Where shall the bleeding Church a Champion gain
To grasp with Heresie? Or to maintain
Her Conflict with the Devil? For the odds
Runs biass'd six to four against the Gods.
Hell lists amain, nay and th'Engagement flies
With winged Zeal through all the Sectaries,
That should she soundly into Question fall,
We were within a Vote of none at all.
But can this hap upon a single Death?
Yes: For thou wert the Treasure of our Breath.
That pious Arch whereon the building stood,
Which broke, the whole's devolv'd into a Flood;
[Page 216] An Inundation that o'er-bears the banks
And Bounds of all Religion: If some stancks
Shew their emergent Heads? Like Seth's famed Stone
Th'are Monuments of thy Devotion gone,
No Wonder then the rambling Spirits stray,
In thee the Body fell, and slipt away.
Hence 'tis the Pulpit swells with Exhalations,
Intricate Non-sense travell'd from all Nations;
Notions refin'd to doubts, and Maxims squeez'd,
With tedious Hick-ups till the sense grows freez'd,
If ought shall chance to drop we may call good,
'Tis thy distinction makes it understood.
Thy glorious Sun made ours a perfect day,
Our Influence took its Being from thy Ray.
Thine was that Gideon's Fleece, when all stood dry,
Pearl'd with Celestial Dew, showr'd from on high.
But now thy Night is come, our Shades are spread,
And living here we move among the Dead.
Perhaps an Ignis fatuus now and then
Starts up in holes, stinks and goes out agen.
Such Kicksee Winsee Flames shew but how dear
Thy great Light's Resurrection would be here.
A Brother with five Loaves and two small Fishes,
A Table-book of Sighs, and Looks, and Wishes,
Startles Religion more at one strong doubt,
Than what they mean when as the Candle's out.
But I profane thy Ashes (gracious Soul!)
Thy Spirit flew to high to truss these foul
Gnostick Opinions. Thou desired'st to meet,
Such Tenents that durst stand upon their Feet,
And beard the Truth with as intens'd a Zeal,
As Saints upon a fast Night quilt a Meal.
Rome never trembled till thy piercing Eye
Darted her through, and crush'd the Mystery.
[Page 217] Thy Revelations made St. Iohn's compleat,
Babylon fell indeed, but 'twas thy Sweat
And Oyl perform'd the work to what we see,
Foret old in misty Types, broke forth in thee.
Some shallow Lines were drawn, and s [...]onces made
By Smatterers in the Arts, to drive a Trade
Of Words between us, but that prov'd no more
Than threats in cowing Feathers to give ore.
Thy Fancy laid the Siege that wrought her Fall,
Thy Batteries commanded round the Wall:
Not a poor loop-hole, Error could sneak by,
No not the Abbess to the Friery;
Though her Disguise as close and subtly good
As when she wore the Monk's hose for a Hood.
And if perhaps their French or Spanish Wine,
Had fill'd them full of Beads and Bellarmine,
That they durst sally, or attempt a Guard,
O! How thy busie Brain would beat and ward!
Rally! And reinforce! Rout! And relieve!
Double reserves! And then an onset give
Like marshal'd Thunder, back'd with Flames of Fire?
Storms mixt with Storms? Passion with Globes of ire?
Yet so well disciplin'd that Judgment still
Sway'd and not rash Commissionated Will.
No, Words in thee knew Order, Time, and Place,
The instant of a Charge, or when to face:
When to pursue advantage, where to halt,
When to draw off, and where to reassault.
Such sure Commands stream'd from thee, that 'twas one
With thee to vanquish as to look upon:
So that thy ruin'd Foes groveling confess,
Thy Conquests were their Fate and Happiness.
Nor was it all thy Business hereto war,
With forreign Forces: But thy active Star
[Page 218] Could course a home-bred Mist, a native Sin,
And shew its Guilt's Degrees, how and wherein;
Then sentence and expel it: Thus thy Sun
An Everlasting Stage in labour run;
So that its motion to the Eye of Man
Waved still in a compleat Meridian.
But these are but fair Comments of our Loss,
The Glory of a Church now on the Cross:
The transcript of that Beauty once we had,
Whilst with the Lustre of thy Presence clad:
But thou art gone (Brave Soul) and with thee all
The Gallantry of Arts Polemical.
Nothing remains as Primitive but Talk,
And that our Priests again in Leather walk.
A Flying Ministry of Horse and Foot,
Things that can start a Text but ne'er come to't.
Teazers of Doctrines, which in long sleev'd Prose
Run down a Sermon all upon the Nose.
These like dull glow-worms twinckle in the Night,
The frighted Land-skips of an absent Light.
But thy rich Flame's withdrawn, Heaven caught thee hence,
Thy Glories were grown ripe for Recompence:
And therefore to prevent our weak Essays,
Th'art crown'd an Angel with Coelestial Bays;
And there thy ravish'd Soul meets Field and Fire,
Beauties enough to fill its strong Desire,
The Contemplation of a present God,
Perfections in the Womb, the very Road
And Essences of Vertues, as they be
Streaming and mixing in Eternity.
Whiles we possess our Souls but in a Veil,
Live Earth confin'd, catch Heaven by retail,
Such a Dark-lanthorn Age, such jealous Days
Men tread on Snakes, sleep in Batalias,
[Page 219] Walk like Confessors, hear but must not say
What the bold World dares act, and what it may;
Yet here all Votes, Commons and Lords agree,
The Crosier fell in Laud, the Church in thee.

On the death of his Royal Majesty Charles late King of England &c.

WHat went yout out to see, a dying King?
Nay more, I fear an Angel suffering.
But what went you to see? A Prophet slain?
Nay that and more a martyr'd Soveraign.
Peace to that sacred Dust! Great Si [...] our Fears
Have left us nothing but Obedient Tears
To court your Hearse; and in those Pious Floods
We live, the poor remainder of our Goods.
Accept us in these latter Obsequies,
The unplundred Riches of our Hearts and Eyes;
For in these faithful Streams and Emanations,
W'are Subjects still beyond all Sequestrations.
Here we cry more than Conquerors: Malice may
Murder Estates, but Hearts will still obey.
These as your Glory's, yet above the reach
Of such whose purple Lines confusion preach.
And now (Dear Sir) vouchsafe us to admire
With envy your arrival, and that Quire
Of Cherubims and Angels that supply'd
Our Duties at your Triumphs: Where you ride
With full Caelestial Ioes, and Ovations
Rich as the Conquest of three ruin'd Nations.
But 'twas the Heavenly Plot that snatch'd you hence,
To crown your Soul with that Magnificence.
[Page 220] And bounden rites of Honour, that poor Earth
Could only wish and strangle in the Birth.
Such pittied Emulation stop'd the blush
Of our Ambitious Shame, non-suited us.
For where Souls act beyond Mortality,
Heaven only can perform that Iubilee.
We wrestle then no more, but bless your day
And mourn the Anguish of our sad delay:
That since we cannot add, we yet stay here
Fetter'd in Clay: Yet longing to appear
Spectators of your Bliss, that being shown
Once more, you may embrace us as your own;
Where never Envy shall divide us more,
Nor City-tumults, nor the Worlds uproar;
But an Eternal Hush, a quiet Peace
As without end, so still in the Increase,
Shall lull Humanity asleep, and bring
Us equal Subjects to the Heavenly King.
Till when I'll turn Recusant, and forswear
All Calvin, for there's Purgatory here.

An Epitaph.

STay Passenger: Behold and see
The widdowed Grave of Majesty.
Why tremblest thou? Here's that will make
All but our stupid Souls to shake.
Here lies entomb'd the Sacred Dust
Of Peace and Piety, Right and Just.
The Blood (O start'st not thou to hear?)
Of a King, 'twixt hope and fear
Shed, and hurried hence to be
The Miracle of Misery.
[Page 221] Add the ills that Rome can boast,
[...]rift the World in every Coast,
[...]ix the Fire of Earth and Seas
With humane Spleen and Practices,
To puny the Records of time,
By one grand Gygantick Crime;
Then swell it bigger till it squeeze
The Globe to crooked Hams and Knees,
Here's that shall make it seem to be
But modest Christianity.
The Law-giver, amongst his own,
[...]entenc'd by a Law unknown.
[...]oted Monarchy to Death
By the course Plebeian Breath.
The Soveraign of all Command
[...]uffering by a Common Hand.
A Prince, to make the Odium more,
Offer'd at his very door.
The head cut off, O Death to see't!
[...]n Obedience to the Feet.
And that by Iustice you must know,
If you have Faith to think it so.
Wee'l stir no further than this Sacred Clay,
But let it slumber till the Iudgment Day.
Of all the Kings on Earth, 'tis not denyed,
Here lies the first that for Religion dyed.

A Survey of the World.

THe World's a guilded Trifle, and the State
Of sublunary Bliss adulterate.
Fame but an empty Sound, a painted noise,
A Wonder that ne'er looks beyond nine Days.
[Page 222] Honour's the Tennis-Ball of Fortune: Though
Men wade to it in Blood and Overthrow;
Which like a Box of Dice uneven dance,
Sometime 'tis one's, sometimes another's chance.
Wealth but the hugg'd Consumption of that Heart,
That travels Sea and Land for his own Smart.
Pleasure à courtly Madness, a Conceit
That smiles and tickles without Worth or Weight
Whose scatter'd reck'ning, when 'tis to be paid
Is but Repenance lavishly in-laid.
The World, Fame, Honour, Wealth and Pleasur then
Are the fair Wrack and Gemonies of Men.
Ask but thy Carnal Heart if thou shouldst be
Sole Monarch of the Worlds great Family,
If with the Macedonian Youth there would
Not be a corner still reserv'd that could
Another Earth contain? If so? What is
That poor insatian thing she may call Bliss?
Question the loaden Gallantry asleep,
What profit now their Lawrels in the deep
Of Death's Oblivion? What their Triumph was
More then the Moment it did prance and pass?
If then applause move by the vulgar cry,
Fame's but a Glorious Uncertainty.
Awake Sejanus, Strafford, Buckingham,
Charge the fond Favourites of greatest Name,
What Faith is in a Prince's Smile, what Joy
In th'high and Grand Concilio le Roy?
Nay [...]sur's self, that march'd his Honours throu
The Bowels of all Kingdoms, made them bow
Low to the Sti [...]up of his Will and Vote,
What safety to their Master's Life they brought?
[Page 223] When in the Senate in his highest Pride
By two and thirty Wounds he fell and dyed?
If Height be then most subjected to Fate;
'Honour's the Day-spring of a greater Hate.
Now ask the Grov'ling Soul that makes his Gold
His Idol, his Di [...]a, what a cold
Account of Happiness can here arise
From that ingluvious Surfeit of his Eyes?
How the whole Man's inslav'd to a lean Dearth
Of all Enjoyment for a little Earth?
How like Prometheus he doth still repair
His growing Heart to feed the Vulture care.
Or like a Spider's envious Designs,
Drawing the threads of Death from her own Loyns.
Tort'ring his Entrails with thoughts of to Morrow,
To keep that Mass with grief, he gain'd with Sorrow.
If to the clincking Pastime in his Ears
He add the Orphans Cries and Widows Tears,
The Musick's far from sweet, and if you found him,
Truly, they leave him sadder than they found him.
Now touch the Dallying Gallant, he that lies
Angling for Babies in his Mistris's Eyes,
Thinks there's no Heaven like a Bale of Dice
Six Horses and a Coach with a device:
A cast of Lackeys, and a Lady-bird,
An Oath in fashion, and a guilded Sword:
Can smoak Tobacco with a Face in Frame,
And speak perhaps a Line of Sense to th'same:
Can sleep a Sabboth over in his Bed,
Or if his Play book's there, will stoop to read,
Can kiss its Hand, and congé a la mode,
And when the Night's approaching bolt abroad,
Unless his Honour's Worship's Rent's not come;
So he falls sick, and swears the Carrier home.
[Page 224] Else if his rare Devotion swell so high
To waste an Hour-glass on Divinity,
'Tis but to make the Church his Stage, thereby
To blaze the Taylor in his Ribaldry.
Ask but the Iay when his distress shall fall
Like an arm'd Man upon him, where are all
The Rose-buds of his Youth? Those antick Toys
Wherein he sported out his precious Days?
What comfort he collects from Hawk or Hound?
Or if amongst his looser Hours, he found
One of a thousand to redeem that time
Perish'd and lost forever in his Prime?
Or if he dream'd of an Eternal Bliss?
Hee'l swear God damn him he ne'er thought of this.
But like the Epicure ador'd the day
That shin'd, rose up to eat, and drink and play.
Knows that his Body was but Dust, and dye
It once must, so have Mercy, and God b'wy.
Thus having travers'd the fond World in brief,
The Lust of the Eyes, the Flesh, and Pride of Life.
Unbiass'd and impartially, we see
'Tis lighter in the Scale than Vanity.
What then remains? But that we still should strive
Not to be born to dye, but dye to live.

An Old Man courting a young Girl.

COme Beauteous Nymph, canst thou embrace
An Aged, Wise Majestick Grace?
To mingle with thy youthful Flames,
And made thy Glories stay'd? the Dames
Of looser Gesture blush to see
Thy Lillies cloth'd with Gravity?
[Page 225] Thy happier choice? Thy gentle Vine
With a sober Elm entwine?
Seal fair Nymph that lovely Tye
Shall speak thy Honour loud and high.
Nym.
Cease Grandsire Lover, and forbear
To court me with thy Sepulchre;
Thy chill December and my May,
Thy Evening and my Break of Day
Can brook no Mixture, no Condition,
But stand in perfect Opposition.
Nor can my active heart embrace
[...] shivering Ague in Love's Chase.
Only perhaps the lucky tye
[...]ay make thy forked Fortune high.
Man.
If fretted Roofs and Beds of Down,
[...]nd the Wonder of the Town,
[...]nded Knees, and costly Fare,
[...]ichest Dainties without Care,
May Temptations Motives be
Here they all attend on thee;
[...]nd to raise thy Bliss the more,
[...]ell thy Trunks with precious Ore,
[...]he glittering Entrails of the East
[...]o varnish and perfume thy Nest.
Nym.
I question not, Sage Sir, but she
[...]hat weds your grave Obliquity,
[...]our Pthisick, Rheums, and Soldans Face
[...]all meet with Fretted Roofs apace.
[...]ancy not your bended Knees
[...]st bowing you can sprighly rise;
[...]ur Gold too when you leave to woo
Will quickly become Precious too.
[...]d dainty Cates without Delight,
[...]ay glut the Day but starve the Night.
[Page 226] For when thou boasts the Beds of Bliss,
The Man, the Man, still wanting is.
Man.
Nay, gentle Nymph, think not my Fire
So quench'd, but that the strong Desire
Of Love can wake it and create
New Action to cooperate.
The Sparks of Youth are not so gone,
But I—ay marry that I can.
Come smack me then my pretty Dear,
Tast what a lively Change is here.
Why fly'st thou me?——
Nym.
———yce yce begone,
Clasp me not with thy Frozen Zone.
That pale Aspect would best become
The sad Complexion of a Tomb.
Think not thy Church-yard Look shall move
My Spring to be thy Winter's Stove.
If at the Resurrection we
Shall chance to marry, call on me;
By that time I perhaps may guess
How to bath and how to dress
Thy weeping Legs, and simpathize
With perish'd Lungs and wopper Eyes,
And think thy touchy Passion Wit,
Love disdain and flatter it;
And 'midst this costive Punishment
Raise a politick Content.
But whiles the Solstice of my years
Glories in its highest Sphears,
Deem not, I will daign to be
The Vassal of Infirmity,
The Skreen of flegmatick old Age,
Decay'd Methusalem his Page.
[Page 227] No! Give me lively Pleasures, such
Melt the Fancy in the touch;
Raise the Appetite and more,
Satisfie it o'er and o'er.
Then from the Ashes of those Fires
Kindle fresh and new Desires.
So Cyprus be the Scoene: Above
Venus and the God of Love,
Knitting true-love knots in one
Merry happy Union.
Whiles their feather'd team appears
Doves and Sparrows in their Gears,
Flutt'ring o'er the jovial-fry,
Sporting in Love's Comedy.
Man.
Hold hasty Soul, Beauty's a Flower
That may perish in an Hour;
No Disease but can disgrace
The trifling Blossoms of a Face,
And nip the heights of those fond Toys,
That now are doted on with Praise.
The Noon-glory of the Sun
To the Shades of Night must come.
May, for all her gilded Prime,
Has its weak and withering time.
Not a Bud that ows its Birth,
From the teeming-mother Earth,
But excels the fading dress
Of a Womans Loveliness.
For when Flowers vanish here,
They may spring another Year.
But frail Beauty, when 'tis gone,
Finds no Resurrection.
Scorn me then, coy Nymph, no more,
Fly no higher, do not sore.
[Page 228] Those pretty Rubies of thy Lips
Once must know a pale Eclipse.
And that plump alluring Skin
Will be furrow'd deeply in.
And those curled Locks so bright
Time will all besnow with white.
Not a Glory, not a Glance,
But must suffer Change and Chance.
Then, though now you'll not contract
With me in the Marriage Act,
Yet perforce chuse, chuse you whether,
You and I shall Lye together.

An Epitaph on his deceased Friend.

HEre lies the ruin'd Cabinet
Of a rich Soul more highly set.
The Dross and Refuse of a Mind,
Too glorious to be here confin'd.
Earth for a while bespake his stay,
Only to bait and so away:
So that what here he doted on
Was meerly Accommodation.
Not that his active Soul could be
At home, but in Eternity.
Yet while he blest us with the Rays
Of his short continued Days,
Each minute had its Weight of Worth,
Each pregnant Hour some Star brought forth.
So whiles he travell'd here beneath,
He liv'd, when others only breath.
For not a Sand of time slip'd by
Without its Action sweet as high:
[Page 229] So good, so peaceable, so blest,
Angels alone can speak the rest.

Mount Ida, or, Beauties Contest.

THree regent Goddesses they fell at odds,
As they sat close in Council with the Gods,
Whose Beauty did excel! And thence they crave
A Moderator of the Strife to have:
But lest the partial Heavens could not decide
The grudg, they stoop to Mortals to be try'd.
Mantled in Clouds then gently down they fall
Upon Mount Ida to appease the Brall,
Where Priam's lovely Boy sporting did keep
His Fathers Lambs and snowy Flocks of Sheep,
His lilly Hand was soon ordain'd to be
The harmless Umpire of the fond Decree.
To him, to him, they gave the Golden Ball,
O happy Goddess upon whom it fall!
But more unhappy Shepherd, was't not pity
Thou didst not send it at a close Committee?
There, there thou hadst surpass'd what did befall,
Thou might'st have crowned One, yet pleased All.
First then Imperious Iuno did display
Her Coronet of Glories to the Boy,
And rang'd her Stars up in an arched Ring
Of Height and Majesty most flourishing;
Then Wealth and Honour at his Foot did lay
To be esteem'd the Lady of the Day.
[Page 230] Next Pallas that brave Heroina came,
The thund'ring Queen of Action, War and Fame,
Dress'd in her glitt'ring Arms, wherewith she lays
Worlds wast, and new ones from their Dust can raise:
These, these she tenders him, advanc'd to be,
With all the Wreaths of Wit and Gallantry.
Last Venus breaks forth of her Golden Rays,
With thousand Cupids crown'd, ten thousand Boys,
Sparkling through every Quadrant of her Eyes,
Which made her Beauty in full Glory rise:
Then smiling vow'd so to sublime his Parts,
To make him the great Conqueror of Hearts.
Thus poor distracted Paris all on Fire,
Stood trembling deep in doubt what to desire;
The sweet Temptations pleaded hard for all,
Each Theatre of [...]eanty seem'd to call
For the bright Prize: But he amazed, he
Could not determine which, which which was she.
At last the Cyprian Girl so struck him blind
In all the Faculties of Soul and Mind,
That he poor captiv'd Wretch without delay
Could not forbear his frailty to [...]etray,
But [...] Honour. Wisdom, all above
He ran and kiss'd and crown'd the Queen of Love.
Pallas and Iuno then in high disdain
Took Snuff, and posted up to Heaven again,
As to a high Court of Appeal, to be
Reveng'd on Men for this Indignity.
"Hence then it happens that the Ball was lost,
"'Tis two to one but Love is always crost.

Upon a Fly that flew into a Lady's Eye, and there lay buried in a Tear.

POor envious Soul! what couldst thou see
In that bright Orb of Purity?
That active Globe? That twinkling Sphere
Of Beauty to be medling there?
Or didst thou foolishly mistake
The glowing Morn in that Day break?
Or was't thy Pride to mount so high
Only to kiss the Sun and dye?
Or didst thou think to rival all,
Don Phaeton and his great Fall?
And in a richer Sea of Briue
Drown Icarus again in thine?
'Twas bravely aim'd, and which is more
Th'hast sunk the Fable o'er and o'er.
For in this single Death of thee
Th'hast bankrupt all Antiquity.
O had the fair Aegyptian Queen
Thy glorious Monument once seen,
How had she spar'd what time forbids,
The needless tott'ring Pyramids!
And in an emulative Chafe
Have begg'd thy Shrine her Epitaph?
Where, when her Aged Marble must
Resign her Honour to the Dust,
Thou mightst have canonized her
Deceased Time's Executor?
To rip up all the Western Bed
Of Spices where Sol lays his Head,
To squeeze the Phoenix and her Nest
In one Perfume that may write Best;
[Page 232] Then blend the Gall'ry of the Skies
With her Seraglio of Eyes,
T'embalm a Name, and raise a Tomb,
The Miracle of all to come;
Then, then, compare it: Here's a Gemm
A Pearl must shame and pity them.
An Amber drop distilled by
The sparkling Limbeck of an eye,
Shall dazle all the short Essays
Of rubbish Worth and shallow Praise.
We strive not then to prize that Tear,
Since we have nought to poise it here.
The World's too light. Hence, hence we cry
The World, the World's not worth a Fly.

Obsequies
To the Memory of the truly Noble, right Va­liant, and right Honourable, Spencer Earl of Northampton, slain at Hopton Field in Staffordshire, in the Beginning of the Civil War.

WHat! The whole World in Silence? Not a Tear
In tune through all the speechless Hemisphere?
Has Grief so seiz'd and fear'd Man-kind in all
The Convoys of Intelligence? No Fall
But those of Waters heard? No Elegies
But such as whine through th'Organs of our Eyes?
Can Pompey fall again? And no Pen say
Here lies the Roman Liberey in Clay?
[Page 233] Or can his Bloud Bow-die th'Egyptian Sand,
And the black Crimes does less then tann the Land?
And make the Region instead of a Verse,
And tomb his sable Epitaph and Herse?
So here Northampton that brave Hero fell,
Triumphant Roman thy pure Parallel,
The Blush and Glory of his Age: Who dyed
In all Points happy, but the Weaker side.
Only to foreign parts he did not roam,
The kind Egyptians met him nearer home.
Both, and such, Causes, that the World confess,
There's nought to plead against them but Success▪
Malignant Loyalty! A glorious Fame
And Sin, for which God never found a Name.
Which had it scaped the Rubrick of these times
Had still continu'd among Holy Crimes.
A Text on which we find no Gloss at all,
But in the Alcoran of Gold-smiths Hall!
Now (Great Adolphus) give me leave to [...]
The Ashes of thy Urn, and Sepulc [...]re;
And branch the Flowers of the Swedish Glory,
As rivall'd to the Life in our sad Story;
Yet not impair thy Plumes, by adding more
To suit that Splendor from a Neighbour Shore;
Nor deem thy Honour less thus match'd to be,
If Compton dyed to grasping Victory.
An active Soul in Gallant F [...]y hurl'd,
To club with all the Worthies of the World.
Blind, Envious, piping Fortune! What could be
The tottering Ground of this thy Treachery?
To stop the Ballance of that brave Carrear,
Was both at once thy Miracle and Fear?
Was't not a pannick Dread surpriz'd thy Soul,
Of being made servile to his high Controul?
[Page 234] Blush and confess poor Cai [...] goddess! So
Wee'l quit his in thy real Overthrow.
And Death, thon Worm! Thou pale Assassinate!
Thou sneaking Hireling of Revenge and Hate,
Didst not thou feel an Earth-quake in thy Bones▪
Such as rends Rocks and their Foundations?
No T [...]tian shivering, but an Ag [...] fit
Which with a burning Feaver shall commit
The World to Ashes? When thou stol'st crept'st under
That Helmet which durst dare Iove and his Thunder.
But since the Bays he reacht at grew not here,
Like a wise Souldier and a Cavalier,
He left his covetous Enemy at Bay,
Rifling the Carriage of his Flesh and Clay:
While his rich Soul pursued the greater Game
Of Honour to the Skies, there fi [...]'d his Name.
I shall not therefore vex the O [...] to trace
Thy Sacred Foot-steps in that hallow'd Place;
No [...] start a feigned Star, and swear it thine,
Then stretch the Constellation to thy Line,
Like a Welch Gentleman that tacks hi [...] Kin
To all Coat [...] in the Country he lives in.
Nor yet, to raise thy Flaming Crest, shall I
Knock for the wandring Planets in the Sky.
Perhaps some broken Beauty of sta [...]e Doubt,
To comment on her Face has hir'd them out.
Let Fame, and thy brave Race thy Statue live,
The World can never such another give.
Whiles each Soul sighs at the is [...]d thought of thee,
There fell a Province of Nobility.
A Fall, [...] Zeal but husbanded its Throat,
That sunk the House of Lords, and sav'd the Vote.
They only State m [...]e Titles in their Gears,
He singly represented all the Peers.
[Page 235] One, had the Enemy imploy'd their Smeck,
[...]hose Ring-worms of the Church, to beg a Neck
With Claudius, to metropolize all Worth,
[...]ome, and what e'er the Suburb-world brought forth,
[...] him the Sword did glut its ravening Eye,
[...]he rest that kick'd up were the smaller Fry.
[...]parks only of that Fire in him deceas'd,
[...]yfles that crack'd and vanish'd North and West.
He led the Royal War in such a Dye,
[...]n that dire Entrance of the Tragedy,
The Sense (Great Charles) no longer to prorogue,
[...]one but thy self could speak the Epilogue.

The London Lady.

GEntly my Muse! 'tis but a tender Piece,
A Paradox of Fumes and Ambergreece.
[...] Cobweb-tinder at a touch takes Fire,
The tumbling Whirligig of blind Desire.
[...]ulcan's Pandora in a Crystal Shrine,
Or th'old Inn fac'd with a new painted Sign.
The spotted Voyder of the Term: In short,
Chymical Nature physick'd into Art.
But hold rude Satyr, here's a Hector comes,
A Cod-piece Captain that with her shares Sums:
One claims a Joynture in her Sins, the Foil
That puts her off, like the Old Man ere while:
That with a Dagger-Cloak, and ho-boy gapes
And squeeks for Company for the Iack-an-Apes.
This is the fierce St. George, foreruns the Wagon▪
And, if occasion be, shall kill the Dragon.
Don Mars the great Ascendant on the Road,
When Thomas's teem begins to jog abroad.
[Page 136] The hinter at each turn of Covent Garden,
The C [...]-Pickeerer, the robust Church warden
Of Lincoln's Inn back-corner, where he angles
For Cloaks and Hats, and the small Game entangles
This is the City Usher stray'd to enter
The small Drink Country Squires of the first venter
And dubs them batch'lor-Knight of the black Jugg
Mans them into an Oath, and the French Shrugg,
Make's them fine Graduates in Smock-impudence,
And gelds them of their Puny Mothers Sence.
So that when two Terms more, and forty Pound
Reads them acquainted all Gomorrha round,
Down to their wondring Friends at last they range,
With breeding just enough to speak them strange,
And drown a younger Brother in a Look,
Kick a poor Lacquey, and berogue the Cook;
Top a small Cry of Tenants that dare stir
In no Phrase now, but save your Worship Sir.
But to return: By this my Lady's up,
Has swum the Ocean of the Cawdle-Cup,
Convers'd with every washing, every Ground,
And Fucus in the Cabinet's to be found.
Has laid the fix'd Complexion for the Day,
Ber Breech rings High Change, and she must away.
Now down the Channel towards the Strand the glides,
Flinging her [...]mble Glances on both sides,
Like the Death-darting Cockatrice (that slye
Close Engineer) that murders through the Eye.
The first that's tickled with her rumbling Wheels
Is the old Statesman, that in Slippers reels,
He wire draws up his Jaws, and snuffs and gri [...]s,
And sighing smacks, but for my Aged Shins,
My Con [...]ve of Diseases, I would boord
Your lofty Gally: Thus I serv'd my Lord—
[Page 237] But mum for that, his strength will scarce supply
His Back to the Balcona, so God b'wy.
By this she has survey'd the golden Globe,
And finding no Temptation to disrobe,
To Durham New Old Stable on she packs,
Where having winc'd and breath'd the what'd ye lacks,
[...]usled and bounced a turn or two in Ire,
[...]he mounts the Coach like Phaeton all on Fire,
[...]it for th'Impressions of all sorts of Evil,
[...]nd whirls up tow'rds the Lawyers and the Devil.
There Ployden in his laced Ruff starch'd on Edg
[...]eeps like an Adder through a quick-set Hedge,
And brings his stale Demur to stop the Course
Of her Proceedings with her Yoak of Horse;
Then falls to handling of the Case, and so
[...]hews her the Posture of her Over-throw;
But yet for all his Law and double Fees
Shee'l bring him to joyn Issue on his Knees;
And make him pay for Expedition too:
Thus the gray Fox acts his green Sins anew.
And well he scapes if all his Norman Sense
Can save the burning of his Evidence.
But out at last shee's huddled in the dark,
Man'd like a Lady-Client by the Clerk
And so the nimble Youngster at the parting
Extorts a Smack perhaps before the Carting.
Down Fleet-street next she rowls with powdred Crest,
[...]o spring clip'd-half-crowns in the Cuckow's Nest.
For now the Heroes of the Yard have shut
Their Shops, and loll upon their Bulks to put
The Ladies to the Squeek, if so perhaps
Their Mistresses can spare them from their Laps.
[...]ot far she waves and sails before she clings
With the young Tribe for Pendants, Lace, and Rings;
[Page 238] But there poor totter'd Madam, though too late,
She meets the Topsie-turvey of her State;
For the ca [...]n'd Boys, having nought left to pay.
Are forc'd to pawn her, and so run away.
On this the dreadful Drawer soon appears,
Like her ill Genius about her Ears,
With a long Bill of Items that affright.
Worse than a Skull of Halberds in the Night.
For now the Jay's compell'd to untru [...]s all
The tackling upon tick from every Stall;
Each sharing Broker of her borrow'd Dress
Seems to do Penance in her Nakedness.
For not a Lady of the noble Game,
But is compos'd at least of all Long-Lane:
An Animal together blow'd and made,
And up'd of all the Shreds of every Trade.
Thus purely now her self, homewards she packs,
Exciz'd in all the Dialects of her knacks:
Squeez'd to the utmost Thread, and latest Grain,
Like Meteors toss'd to their first grit again.
A Lane, a Lane, she comes, summ'd down to nought,
But Shame and a thin-under Petticoat.
But lest I should pursue her to the quick,
I pass: The Chase lies now too near the Nick.
In pity Satyr then thy Lash let fall:
He knows her best that scans her not at all.
And though thou seem'st discourteous not to save her,
No matter; when thou leav'st there's one will have her▪

The Times.

TO speak in wet-shod Eyes, and drowned Looks,
Sad broken Accents, and a Vein that brooks
No Spirit, Life, or Vigour, were to own
The Crush and Triumph of Affliction;
And creeping with Themistocles to be
The pale-fac'd Pensioners of our Enemy.
No, 'tis the Glory of the Soul to rise
By Falls, and at rebound to pierce the Skies.
Like a brave Courser standing on the Sand
Of some high-working Fretum; views a Land
Smiling with Sweets upon the distant side,
Garnish'd in all her gay embroider'd Pride,
Larded with Springs, and fring'd with curled Woods,
Impatient, bounces in the cap ring Floods,
Big with a nobler Fury than that Stream
Of shallow Violence he meets in them;
Thence arm'd with Scorn & Courage ploughs away
Through the impostum'd Billows of the Sea;
And makes the grumbling Surges Slaves to Oar,
And waft him safely to the further Shoar:
Where landed in a Soveraign Disdain
He turns back, and surveys the foaming Main,
Whiles the subjected Waters flowing reel,
Ambitious yet to wash the Victor's Heel.
In such a Noble Equipage should we
Embrace th'Encounter of our Misery.
Not like a Fie [...] of Corn, that hangs the Head
For every Tempest, every petty Dread.
Crosses were the best Christians Arms: And we
That hope a wished Canaan once to see,
[Page 240] Must not expect a Carpet-way alone
Without a Red-sea of Affliction.
Then cast the Dice: Let's foord old Rubicon,
Caesar 'tis thine, Man is but once undone.
Tread softly though, lest Scylla's Ghost awake,
And us i'th'Roll of his Proscriptions take.
Rome is revived, and the Triumvirate
In the black Island are once more a State;
The City trembles: There's no third to shield
If once Augustus to Antonius yield,
Law shall not shelter Cicero, the Robe
The Senate: Proud Success admits no Probe
Of Justice to correct or square the Fate,
That bears down all as illegitimate;
For whatsoe'er it lists to overthrow,
It either finds it, or else makes it so.
Thus Tyranny's a stately Palace, where
Ambition sweats to climb and nustle there;
But when 'tis enter'd, what Hopes then remain?
There is no Sallyport to come out again.
For Mischief must rowl on, and gliding grow,
Like little Rivulets that gently flow
From their first bubling Springs, but still increase
And swell their Channel as they mend their Pace;
Till in a Glorious Tide of Villany
They over-run the Banks, and posting fly
Like th'bellowing Waves in Tumults, till they can
Display themselves in a full Ocean.
And if blind Rage shall chance to miss its Way,
Brings Stock enough alone to make a Sea.
Thus treble Treasons are secur'd [...]d drown'd
By lowder Crys of deeper Mouth and Sound.
And high Attempts swallow a puny Plot,
As Canons overwhelm the smaller Shot.
[Page 241] Whiles the deaf sensless World inur'd a while
(Like the Catadupi at the Fall of Mile)
To the fierce tumbling Wonder, think it none;
Thus Custom hallows Irreligion!
And strokes the patient Beast till he admit
The now-grown-light and necessary Bit.
But whether do I ramble? Gauled Times
Cannot indure a smart Hand o'er their Crimes.
Distracted Age? What Dialect or Fashion
Shall I assume? To pass the Approbation
Of thy censorious Synod; which now sit
High Areopagites to destroy all Wit?
I cannot say, I say, that I am one
Of th'Church of Ely-house, or Abington,
Nor of those precious Spirits that can deal
The Pomegranates of Grace at every Meal.
No zealous Hemp-dresser yet dipp'd me in
The Laver of Adoption from my Sin.
But yet if Inspiration, or a Tale
Of a long-wasted six Hours length prevail,
A smooth Certificate from the Sister-hood,
Or to be term'd Holy before Good,
Religious Malice, or a Faith 'thout Works
Others then may proclaim us Iews or Turks:
If these, these hint at any thing, Then, then
Whoop! my dispairing Hope come back agen:
For since the Inundation of Grace,
All Honesty's under Water, or in Chase.
But 'tis the Old Worlds Dotage, thereupon
We feed on Dreams Imagination,
Humours, and cross-gain'd Passions, which now reign
[...] the decaying Elements of the Brain.
[...]is hard to coin new Fancies, when there be
So few that launch out in Discovery.
[Page 242] Nay Arts are so far from being cherished,
There's scarce a Colledge but has lost its Head,
And almost all its Members: O sad Wound!
Where never an Artery could be judged sound!
To what a Height is Vice now towred? When we
Dare not miscall it an Obliquity?
So confident, and carrying such an aw,
That it subscribes it self no less than Law?
If this be Reformation then? The great
Account pursued with so much Bloud and Sweat?
In what Black Lines shall our sad Story be
Deliver'd over to Posterity?
With what a Dash and Scar shall we be read?
How has Dame Nature in us suffered?
Who of all Centuries the first Age are
That sunk the World for want of due Repair?
When first we issued out in Cries and Tears,
(Those salt Presages of our future years)
Head-long we dropt into a quiet Calm,
Times crown'd with rosie Garlands, Spice and Balm;
Where first a Glorious Church and Mother came,
Embrac'd us in her Arms, gave us a Name
By which we live, and an indulgent Breast
Flowing with Stream to an Eternal Rest.
Thus ravish'd, the poor Soul could not guess even,
Which was more kind to her yet, Earth, or Heaven.
Or rather wrapped in a pious Doubt
Of Heaven, whether she were in or out.
Next the Great Father of our Country brings
His Blessing too, (even the Best of Kings)
Safe and well-grounded Laws to guard our Peace,
And nurse our Virtues in their just Increase;
Like a pure Spring from whom all Graces come,
Whose Bounty made it double Christendom.
[Page 243] Such and so sweet were those Halcyon Days
That rose upon us in our Infant Rays;
Such a composed State we breathed under,
We only heard of Iove, ne'er felt his Thunder.
Terrors were then as strange, as Love now grown,
Wrong and Revenge lived quietly at home.
The sole Contention that we understood,
Was a rare Strife and War in doing good.
Now let's reflect upon our Gratefulness.
How we have added, or (O!) made it less,
What are th'Improvements? what our Progress? where
Those handsom Acts that say that some men were?
He that to ancient Wreaths can bring no more
From his own Worth, dyes bankrupt on the Score.
For Fathers Crests are crowned in the Son,
And Glory spreads by Propagation.
Now Virtue shield me! Where shall I begin?
To what a Labyrinth am I now slipp'd in,
What shall we answer them? Or what deny?
What prove? Or rather whether shall we fly?
When the poor widdow'd Church shall ask us where
Are all her Honours? and that filial Care
We ow'd so sweet a Parent as the Spouse
Of Christ, which here vouchsaf'd to own a House?
Where are her Boanerges? And those rare
Brave Sons of Consolation? Which did bear
The Ark before our Israel, and dispence
The Heavenly Manna with such Diligence?
In them the prim'tive Motto's come to pass,
Aut mortui sunt, aut docent literas.
Bless'd Virgin! we can only say we have
Thy Prophets Tombs among us, and their Grave.
And here and there a Man in Colours paint,
That by thy Ruins grew a mighty Saint.
[Page 244] Next Caesar some Accounts are due to thee,
But those in Blood already written be.
So loud and lasting, in such monstrous Shapes,
So wide the never-to-be-clos'd Wound gapes;
All Ages yet to come with shivering shall
Recite the fearful President of thy Fall.
Hence we confute thy Tenent Solomon,
Under the Sun a new thing hath been done;
A thing before all Pattern, all Pretence
Of Rule or Copy: Such a strange Offence
Of such Original Extract, that it bears
Date only from the Eden of our Years.
Laconian Agis! We have read thy Fate,
The Violence of the Spartan Love and Hate.
How Pagans trembled at the thought of thee,
And fled the Horrour of thy Tragedy;
Thyestes cruel Feast, and how the Sun
Shrunk in his Golden Beams that Sight to shun.
The Bosoms of all Kingdoms open lye,
Plain and emergent to th'inquiring Eye.
But when we glance upon our Native Home,
As the black Center to whom all Points come,
We rest amazed, and silently admire
How far beyond all Spleen ours did aspire.
All that we dare assert is but a Cry
Of an exchanged Peace for Liberty.
A secret Term by Inspiration known,
A Mist that brooks no Demonstration;
Unless we dive into our Purses, where
We quickly find Our Freedom purely dear.
But why exclaim you thus? May some Men say,
Against the times? When equal Night and Day
Keep their just Course? The Seasons still the same?
As sweet as when from the first Hand they came?
[Page 245] The Influence of the Stars benign and free,
As at first Peep up in their Infancy?
'Tis not those standing Motions that divide
The space of Years, nor the swift Hours that glide,
Those little Particles of Age, that come
In thronging Items that make up the Summ,
That's here intended: But our crying Crimes,
Our Monsters that abominates the Times.
'Tis we that make the Metonymy good
By being bad, which like a troubled Flood
Nothing produce but slimy Mire and Dirt,
And Impudence that makes Shame malepert.
To travel further in these Wounds that lye
Rankling, though seeming clos'd, were to deny
Rest to an o'erwatch'd World, and force fresh Tears
From stench'd Eyes, now alarum'd by old Fears.
Which if they thus shall heal and stop, they be
The first that e'er were cur'd by Lethargy.
This only Axiom from ill Times encrease
I gather, There's a time to hold ones Peace.

The Model of new Religion.

WHoop! Mr. Uicar in your flying Frock?
What News at Babel now? how stands the Cock!
When wags the Flood? No Ephimerides?
Nought but confounding of the Languages?
No more of th'Saints Arrival? Or the Chance
Of three Pipes two Pence and an Ordinance?
How many Queer-religions? Clear your Throat,
May a man have a Peny-worth? Four a Groat?
Or do the Iuncto leap at truss-a-fail?
Three Tenents clap while five hang on the Tail?
[Page 246] No Querpo model? Never a knack or wile?
To preach for Spoons and Whistles? Cross or Pile?
No hints of Truth on Foot? no Sparks of Grace?
No late sprung Light? to dance the wild-goose Chase?
No Spiritual Dragoons that take their Flames
From th'inspiration of the City Dames?
No Crumbs of Comfort to relieve our Cry?
No new dealt Mince-meat of Divinity?
Come let's project: By the great late Eclipse
We justly fear a Famine of the Lips.
For Sprats are rose an Omer for a Souse,
Which gripes the Conclave of the lower House.
Let's therefore vote a close Humiliation,
For op [...]ning the seal'd Eyes of this blind Nation;
That they may see confessingly and swear,
They have not seen at all this Fourteen Year.
And for the Splints and Spavings too, 'tis said
All the Joints have the Riffcage, since the Head
Swell'd so prodigious, and exciz'd the Parts
From all Allegiance but in Tears and Hearts.
But zealous Sir, what say to a touch at Prayer?
How Quops the Spirit? In what Garb or Air?
With Souse erect, or Pendent, Winks, or Haws?
Sniveling? Or the extention of the Jaws?
Devotion has its mode: Dear Sir hold forth;
Learning's a Venture of the second Worth.
For since the People's Rise and its sad Fall,
We are inspir'd from much to none at all.
Brother adieu! I see y'are closely girt,
A costive Dover gives the Saints the Squirt.
Hence (Reader) all our flying News contracts,
Like the State's Fleet from the Seas into Acts;
But where's the Model all this while you'll say,
'Tis like the Reformation, run away.

On Britannicus his leap three Story high, and his escape from London.

PAul from Damascus in a Basket slides,
Cran'd by the Faithful Brethren down the sides
Of their embattell'd Walls, Britannicus,
As loath to trust the Brethrens God with us,
Slides too, but yet more desp'rate, and yet thrives
In his descent; needs must! The Devil drives.
Their Cause was both the same, and herein meet,
Only their Fall was not with equal Feet,
Which makes the Case Iambick: Thus we see
How much News falls short of Divinity.
Truth was their crying Crime: One takes the night,
Th'other th'advantage of the New-sprung Light
To mantle his escape: How different be
The Pristine and the Modern Policy?
Have Ages their Antipodes? Yet still
Close in the Propagation of ill:
Hence flows this Use and Doctrine from the thump
I last sustain'd (belov'd) Good Wits may jump.

Content.

FAir Stranger! Winged Maid, where dost thou rest
Thy snowy Locks at Noon? Or on what Breast
Of Spices slumber o'er the sullen Night?
Or waking whither dost thou take thy Flight?
Shall I go seek some melancholick Grove?
The silent Theatre of Despair and Love?
There court the Bittern and the Pelican,
Those Airy Antipodes to the Tents of Man?
[Page 248] Or sitting by some pretty pratling Spring
Hear hoarse Nyctimine her Dirges sing?
Whiles the rough Satyrs dance Corantoes too
The chattring Sembriefs of her Woo hoo, hoo?
Or shall I trace some Ice-bound Wilderness
Among the Caverns of abstruse Recess?
Where never prying Sun, nor blushing Day
Could steal a Glimps, or intersqueeze a Ray?
If not within this solitary Cell,
O whether must I post? Where dost thou dwell?
Shall I let loose the Reins of blind Desire?
And surfeit every ravening Sence? Give Fire
To any Train? And tire Voluptuousness
In all her soft Varieties of Excess?
And make each Day a History of Sin?
Drink the A la mort Sun down and up agen!
Improve my Crimes to such a roaring Score,
That when I dye, where others go before
In whining venial Streams, and Quarto Pages,
My Floods may rise in Folio, sink all Ages?
O [...] shall I bath my self in Widows Tears?
And build my Name in th'Curse of them and theirs?
Ship-wrack whole Nature to craw out a Purse
With th'molten Cinders of the Universe?
Belch nought but Ruin? And the horrid Crys
Of Fire and Sword? And swim in drowned Eyes?
Make Lanes to Crowns and Scepters through th' Heart's Veins
Of Justice, Law, Right, Church and Soveraigns?
No, no, I trace thee not in this dark way
Of Death, this Scarlet-streak'd Aceldama.
Shall I then to the House of Mourning goe?
Where the Salt-peter Vuates over-flow
[Page 249] With fresh Supplies of Grief? Fresh Tides of Brine?
Or traverse the wide World in every Line?
Walk through the Bowels of each Realm and State
Simpling for Rules of Policy, to create
Strange Forms of Government of new Mold, & wasts
Like a French Kickshaw of a thousand Tasts?
Or shall I dive into the Secrecy
Of Nature? Where the most retir'd doth lie?
Or shall I waste the Taper of my Soul
In Scrutinies; where neither Northern-pole
Nor Southern-constellation darts a Light
To constitute a Latitude or Height?
Or shall I float into the watry Pale
Wan Kingdom of the Moon? And there set sail
For all the Orbs? And keep high Holy-day
With th'Nectar-tipling-Gods in th'milky-way?
Swell Bacchus tripes with a Tun of lusty Sack?
And lay the Plump Squire flat upon his Back?
O no, these Revels are too short, too sour,
Too sad, hugg'd and repented in an Hour.
Shall I then plough the Seas to forreign Soils?
And rake the pregnant Indies for hid Spoils?
Or with the Anchorite abhor the Eye
Of Heaven, and banish all Society?
Live in, and out the World? And pass my Days
In treading out some strange mysterious Maze;
Taste every Humane Sweet? Lilly and Rose?
With all the sharp Guard that about them grows?
Climb where Despair would tremble to set Foot,
Spring new Impossibles and force Way to't?
Make the whole Globe a Shop of Chymistry
To melt down all her Atomes, and descry
That small Iota, that last pittied Grain
Which the gull'd Sons of Men pursue in vain?
[Page 250] Or shall I grasp those Meteors, Fame, and Praise
Which Breath by th'Charity of the vulgar Voice?
Pile Honour upon Honourt till it crack,
The Atlas of my Pride, and break its back?
Hold Fancy, hold! For whither wilt thou bear
My Sun-burnt hope to Loss? 'Tis, 'tis not here,
Soar then (My Soul) above the arched Round
Of these poor spangled Blisses: Here's no Ground
To fix the Sacred Foot of pure Content,
Her Mansion's in a higher Element.
Hast thou perceiv'd the Sweetness of a Groak?
Or try'd the Wings of Contemplation?
Or hast thou found the Balm of Tears, that press
Like Amber in the Dregs of Bitterness?
Or hast thou felt that secret Joy that flows,
Against the Tide of common Ove-throws?
Or hast thou known the Dawnings of a God
Upon thee, when his Love is shed abroad?
Or hast thou heard the Sacred Harmony
Of a calm Conscience, e [...]choing in thee
A Requiem from above? A sealed Peace
Beyond the Power of Hell, Sin or Decease?
Or hast thou tasted that Communion
Between a reconciled God and Man?
That Holy Intercourse? Those precious Smiles
Dissolv'd in Holy whisp'rings between whiles?
Here, here's the Steps lead to her bless'd Abode;
Her Chair of State is in the Throne of God.

May Day.

COme Gallants, why so dull? What muddy Cloud
Dwells on th'eye-brows of the day? Why shroud
Ye up your selves in the furl'd Sails of Night,
And tossing lye at Hull? Hark how Delight
Knocks with her silver Wings at every Sense?
And Great Apollo Laureat doth Commence?
Up! 'tis the golden Iubilee of the Year,
The Stars are all withdrawn from each glad Sphear,
Within the tyring-rooms of Heaven, unless
Some few that peep to spy our Happiness.
Whiles Phoebus tugging up Olympus craw,
Smoaks his bright Teem along on the Grand Paw.
Hark how the Songsters of the shady Plain,
Close up their Anthems in a melting Strain!
See where the glittring Nymphs whirl it away
In Checkling Caravans as blyth as May;
And th'Christal-sweating Flowers droop their heads
In blushing Shame to call you Slug-a-beds.
Wast but a Glance upon Hide-park, and swear
All Argus Eyes are fall'n, and fixed there.
The dapled Lawns with Ladies shine and glow,
Whiles bubling Mounts with Springs of Nectar flow;
And each kind Turtle sits and bills his Dove
Like Venus and Adonis lapp'd in Love.
Hark how Amyntas in melodious loud
Shrill Raptures tunes his Horn-pipe! whiles a Croud
[Page 252] Of Snow-white-milk-maids crown'd with Garlan [...] ga [...]
Trip it to the soft Measure of his Lay.
And Fields with Curds and Cream like green-chee [...] li [...]
This now or never is the Gallaxie.
If the facetious Gods e'er taken were
With Mortal Beauties and disguis'd, 'tis here.
See how they mix Societies, and toss
The tumbling Ball into a willing Loss,
That th'twining Ladies on their Necks might take
The doubled Kisses which they first did stake.
Those pretty Earnests of a Maiden-head,
Those sugred Seals of Love, Types of the Bed,
Which to confirm the sweet Conveyance more
They throng in thousand times ten thousand Score.
Such Heavenly Surfeits, as they sporting lye,
Thus catch they from each others Lip and Eye.
The Game at best, the Girls May-rold must be,
Where Croyden and M [...]sa, he and she
Each happy Pair make one Hermaphrodite,
And tumbling bounce together, black and white;
Where had you seen the Chance, you had not known
Whose Shew had lovelier been Madam's or Ioan.
Then crown the Bowl, let every Conduit run
Canary, till we lodge the reeling Sun.
Tap every Joy, let not a Pearl be spilt,
Till we have set the ringing World a Tilt.
A sacrifice Arabia Foelix in
One bone fire, one Incense Offering.
'Tis Sack, 'tis Sack, that drowns the thorny Cares,
Which hedge the Pillow, and abridge our Years,
[Page 253] The quickning Anima mundi that creates
Life in Dejection, and outdares the Fates,
Makes Man look big on danger, and out-swell
The Fury of that Thrall that threatens Hell.
Chirp round my Boys: Let each Soul take its sip,
Who knows what falls between the Cup and Lip?
What can a voluntary pale-Look bring
Or a deep Sigh to lessen Suffering?
Has Mischief any pity or regard?
The foil of Misery is a Breast prepar'd.
Hence then with folded Arms, eclipsed Eyes,
And low imprison'd Groans, meek Cowardise.
Urge not with Oars Death that in full Sail comes,
Nor walk in fore-stall'd Blacks to the dark Tombs:
But rather than th'Eternal Jaws shall gape,
Gallop with Curtius down the Gallant hap.
Mean time here's that shall make our Shackles light,
And charm the dismal Terrors walk by Night;
Tis this that chears the drooping Soul, revives
The benum'd Captive crampt in his cold Gives.
Kingdoms and Cottages, the Mill and Throne
Sack the Grand Leveller commands alone.
Tis Sack that rocks the boyling Brain to rest,
Confirms the Aged Hams, and warms the Breast
Of Gallantry to Action, runs half-share
And Metal with the buff-fac'd Sons of War.
'Tis Wit, 'Tis Art, 'tis Strength, 'tis all and more;
Then lose the Flood-gates George, wee'll pay or score.

An Epig. to Doulus.

DOulus advanc'd upon a goodly Steed,
Came mounting o'er the Plain in very Dee [...]
Whereat the People cring'd and bow'd the Knee,
In Honour of my Lord's rich Livery.
Hence swell not Doulus, nor erect thy Crest,
'Twas for the Goddess sake we capp'd the Beast.

An Epig. on the People of England.

Sweating and chafing hot Ardelio crys
A Boat a Boat, else farewel all the Prize.
But having once set Foot upon the Deep,
Hot-spur Ardelio fell fast asleep.
So we, on Fire with zealous Discontent,
Call'd out a Parliament, a Parliament;
Which being obtain'd at last, what did they do?
Even squeeze the Wool-packs, and lye snorting too

Another.

Brittain a lovely Orchard seem'd to be,
Furnish'd with Natures choice Variety,
Temptations golden Fruit of every sort,
Th'Hesperian Garden fann'd from feign'd Report:
Great Boys and small together in we brake,
No matter what disdain'd Priapu [...] spake:
Up, up, we lift the Great Boys in the Trees,
Hoping a common Share to simpathize:
But they no sooner there neglected streight
The Shoulders that so rais'd them to this Height;
[Page 255] And fell to stuffing of their own Bags first,
[...]nd as their Treasure grew, so did their Thirst.
Whiles we in lean Expectance gaping stand,
[...]or one Shake from their charitable Hand.
[...]ut all in vain, the Dropsie of Desire.
[...]o scorch'd them, three Realms could not quench the Fire.
[...]e wise then in your Ale, bold Youths, for fear
The Gardner catch us as Moss caught his Mare.

A Sing-song on Clarinda's Wedding.

NOw that Love's Holyday is come,
And Madg the Maid hath swept the Room
And trimm'd her Spit and Pot,
Awake my merry Muse, and sing
The Revells, and that other thing
That must not be forgot.
As the gray Morning dawn'd, 'tis sed
Clarinda broke out of her Bed
Like Cynthia in her Pride:
Where all the Maiden-Lights that were
Compriz'd within our Hemisphere
Attended at her side.
But wot you then, with much ado
They dress'd the Bride from top to toe
And brought her from her Chamber,
Deck'd in her Robes and Garments gay,
More sumptuous than the live-long-day,
Or Stars enshrin'd in Amber.
[Page 256] The sparkling Bullies of her Eyes
Tike two eclipsed Suns did rise
Beneath her Crystal Brow
To shew like those strange Accidents
Some sudden changeable. Events
Were like to hap below.
Her Cheeks bestreak'd with white and red,
Like pretty Tell-tales of the Bed
Presag'd the blust'ring Night;
With his encircling Arms and Shade
Resolv'd to swallow and invade
And skreen her Virgin Light.
Her Lips, those Threads of Scarlet dye,
Wherein Love's Charms and Quiver lye,
Legions of Sweets did crown;
Which smilingly did seem to say
O crop me, crop me, whiles you may,
Anon th'are not mine own.
Her Breast those melting Alps of Snow
On whose fair Hills in open Show
The God of Love lay napping;
Like swelling Buts of lively Wine
Upon their Ivory Stells did shine
To wait the lucky Tapping.
Her Waste, that slender Type of Man,
Was but a small and single Span,
Yet I dare safely swear,
[Page 257] He that whole Thousands has in Fee
Would forfeit all, so he might be
Lord of the Mannor there.
But now before I pass the Line,
Pray Reader give me leave to dine,
And pause here in the Middle;
The Bridegroom and the Parson knock,
With all the Hymeneal Flock,
The Plum-cake and the Fiddle.
When as the Priest Clarinda sees,
He star'd as't had been half his Fees
To gaze upon her Face:
And if the Spirit did not move,
His Continence was far above
Each Sinner in the Place.
With mickle Stir he joyn'd their Hands,
[...]d hamper'd them in Marriage Bands,
As fast as fast might be.
Where still methinks, methinks I hear
That secret Sigh in every Ear,
Once Love remember me!
Which done the Cook he knock'd amain,
[...]nd up the Dishes in a Train
Come smoaking two and two;
With that they wip'd their Mouths and sate,
[...]ome fell to quaffing, some to prate,
Ay marry and welcome too.
[Page 258] In Pray'rs they thus impall'd the Meat
Roger and Marget, and Thomas and Kate,
Rafe and Bess, Andrew and Maudlin,
And Valentine eke with Sybill so sweet,
Whose Cheeks on each side of her Snuffers did mee [...]
As round and as plump as a Codlin [...]
When at the last they had fetched their Freeze,
And mired their Stomacks quite up to the Knees
In Claret for and Good Chear
Then, then began the merry Din,
For as it were thought they were all'on the Pin,
O what kissing and clipping was there
But as Luck would have it the Parson said Grace,
And to frisking and dancing they shuffled apace,
Each Lad took his Lass by the Fist,
And when he had squeez'd her, and gaum'd her unti [...]
The Fat of her Face ran down like a Mill,
He toll'd for the rest of the Grist▪
In Sweat and in Dust having wasted the Day,
They enter'd upon the Last Act of the Play;
The Bride to her Bed was convey'd
Where knee-deep each hand fell down to the Ground,
And in seeking the Garter much pleasure was found,
'Twould have made a Man's Arm have stray'd▪
This Clutter o'er Clarinda lay
Half bedded, like the peeping Day
Behind Olympus Cap
[Page 259] Whiles at her Head each twitt'ring Girl
The fatal Stocking quick did whirl
To know the lucky Hap.
The Bridegroom in at last did rustle,
All disappointed in the Bustle,
The Maidens had shav'd his Breeches;
But let him not complain, 'tis well
In such a Storm, I can you tell
He sav'd his other Stitches.
And now he bounc'd into the Bed,
Even just as if a Man had sed
Fair Lady have at all;
Where twisted at the Hug they lay,
Like Venus and the sprightly Boy,
O who would fear the Fall?
Thus both with Love's sweet Tapers fired,
And thousand balmy Kisses tyred,
They could not wait the Rest;
But out the Folk and Candles fled,
And to't they went, but what they did,
There lies the Cream o'th'Jest.

The Myrtle-Grove.

JUst as the reeling Sun came sliding down
Among the Moors, and Tethys in a Gown
Of Sea-green Watchet setled to embrace
Her great Apollo from his circled Race,
And the streak'd Heavens did themselves digest
Into a larger Iris, to invest
[Page 260] And canopy th'Illustrious lovely Pair
In a Diaphanous Robe of costly Air:
Clarinda rose amidst the Myrtle-Grove,
Like the Queen-mother of the Stars above.
But that Clarinda's was no borrow'd Light;
Nor could it, where she was bedeem'd a Night.
Such was the Natural Glories she put on,
Thew ow'd no Being to Reflection.
While the inspir'd Musicians of the Wood,
Ravish'd at the new Day, powr'd out a Flood
Of quavering Melody in honyed Strains,
To court the glittering Deity of the Plains.
Those pretty flow'ry Beds of Sweets, that now
Had clos'd their Heads up in an Amber Dew
Of Tears, to mourn the drowsie Sun's Good Night,
Warm'd with a nobler Ardour sprung up-right,
And threw the Mantles of dull Sleep aside
In a display'd and Meritorious Pride,
To strew with rich Perfumes her balmy Way,
Which grew more Fragrant by her active Ray.
Thus sweetly woo'd Clarinda laid her down
On a curl'd Quilt of Roses, fondly grown
Proud of their own Oppression, whiles they may
Kiss the dear Burden which upon them lay.
Then skreen'd with Harmony, she stretch'd along
Upon her Damask Couch, where a bright Throng
Of Graces hover'd o'er the Firmament
Of her pure Orbs drawn to a full Extent.
Whiles a soft Gale of wanton Wind that blew
Did sport her willing Glories into view.
But I, poor dazled I, not daring here
T'attempt the Splendor of each naked Sphere,
Stood peeping through the Opticks of the Shade,
Which to my Sight a kind Reflection made.
[Page 261] Her Eyes half shut up in their Christal Case,
Stood twinkling Centinels upon her Face;
Or else to take the Prospect of those Fields
Of Beauty which that flowing Tempe yields.
Her coral Lips ten thousand Smiles enthron'd,
Like clustred Grapes which for a Vintage groan'd.
The Ivory Palace of her stately Neck
Cloth'd with Majestick Aw, did seem to check
The looser Pastime of her gamesome Hair,
Which in wild Rings ran trick about the Air.
Her Amourous Breasts swell'd to a lovely Rise
Of dripping Plenty, a twinn'd Paradise
Of Milk and Honey, exhal'd my roving Eye
[...]nto a Soul-ensnaring Extasie.
And had I not recoil'd without Delay
[...] there had wandred in the Milky Way.
Her Belly like the Ace of Clubs so white,
So black, the strutting Pillow of Delight,
So fired the catching Tinder of my Sense,
That I no longer Student could commence,
But streight weigh'd Anchor and tack'd up the Sail
To the main-yard, waiting a stiffer Gale
To pass me through those ticklish Streights of Man,
[...]nto the full Mediterranean.
At last I plung'd into th'Elysian Charms,
Fast clasp'd by th'arched Zodiack of her Arms:
Those closer Clings of Love, where I partaked
Strong Hopes of Bliss; but so, O so I waked!

To my honoured Friend. Mr. T. C. that asked me how I liked his Mistress being an old Widdow.

BUt prethee first how long hast bin
Lost in this sad Estate of Sin?
That the mild Gout, or Pox, or worse
Serves not to expiate thy Curse?
Some Pestilence else may be thought upon,
And not such absolute Damnation.
Are Rocks and Halters grown so dear
That there's no perishing but here?
Do no Committee yet survive
Those cheaper Gregories of Men alive?
If thou wilt needs to Sea, O must it be
In an old Galliasse of sixty three;
A Snail-crawl'd Bottom? A gray Bark
That stood at Font for Noah's Ark?
Whose wrinckled Poop in Figures furl'd
Describes her Travels round the World?
A Nut which when thou'st crack'd and fumbled o'er
Thou'lt find the Squirrel has been there before?
Then raise the Siege from falling on
That old dismantled Garrison.
Rash Lover speak what Pleasure hath
Thy Spring in such an Aftermath!
Who, were she to the best Advantage spread,
Is but the dull Husk of a Maiden-head.
How canst thou then delight the Sense
In Beauty's Preterperfect-tence?
And dote upon that Free-stone Face
Which wears but the Records of Grace?
[Page 263] Whose antick Monast'ry brags but a Chest
Of venerable Reliques at the best?
O can there such a Famine be
Of piping-hot Virginity,
That thou art forc'd to slur and cheat
Thy Stomach with the broken Meat?
Why he that wooes a Widdow does no more
Then court that Quagmire where one sunk before.
Fie, prize not then those Arras Looks,
Sullied and thumb'd like Town-hall Books!
I like thy Fancy well to have
Its Misery so near its Grave.
And 'tis a General Shift that most men use,
But yet 'tis tedious waiting Dead Men Shoes.
If'twere thy Plot I do confess
For to make Mummie of her Grease,
Or swop her to the Paper Mill,
This were extracting good from ill.
But if thou wedst on any worse Condition,
Thou'lt prove Delinquent for thy Superstition.
But prethee hold, let me advise,
Perhaps shee's rich and seems a Prize,
New calk'd, new rigg'd, a stately Friggot;
But yet she's tap'd at lower Spiggot.
Yet if no Med'cine for thy Grief be found,
There's small odds Tom 'twixt being hang'd or drown'd.

The Engagement stated.

BEgon Expositor: The Text is plain
No Church, no Lord, no Law, no Soveraign.
Away with Mental Reservations, and
Senses of Oaths in Files out-vy the Strand.
[Page 264] Here's Hell truss'd in a Thimble, in a Breath,
Dares face the Hazard of the second Death.
The Saints are grown Laconians, and can twist
Perjury up in Pills like Leyden grist.
But hold, precise Deponents: Though the Heat
Of Zeal in Cataracts digests such Meat,
My Cold Concoction shrinks, and my Advance
Drives slowly to approach your Ordinance.
The Sign's in Cancer, and the Zodiack turns
Leonick, roll'd in Curls while Terra burns.
What though your Fancies are sublim'd to reach
Those fatal Reins? Success and Will can teach
But rash Divinity. A sad Renown
Where one Man fell to see a Million drown.
When neither Arts nor Arms can serve to fight,
And wrest a Title from its Law and Right,
Must Malice piece the Trangum? and make clear
The Scruple? Else we will resolve to swear?
Nay out-swear all that we have sworn before;
And make good lesser Crimes by acting more
And more sublime? This, this extends the Line
And shames the puny Soul of Cataline.
On this Account all these whose Fortune's crost
And want Estates, may turn Knights of the Post.
Vaux we out-vy'd thee, since thy Plot fell lame,
We found a closer Cellar for the same;
Piling the fatal Powder in our Mouths,
Which in an Oath discharg'd blew up the House.
Maugre Mounteagle, Asps not throughly slain,
Their Poison in an Age may live again.
Good Demas cuff your Bear, then let us see
The Mystery of your Iniquity.
May a Man course a Cur? And freely box
The Question? Or the formal Paradox?
[Page 265] But as in Physick, so in this Device
This quirk of Policy the Point is nice.
For he that in this Model means to thrive,
Must first subscribe to the Preparative;
Like Witches compact counter-march his Faith,
And soak up all what ere the Spirit saith;
Then seal and sign. Scylla threw three Bars short,
He had a Sword indeed, but no Text for't.
Old Rome lament thy Infancy in Sin,
We perfect what thou trembled'st to begin,
Blush then to see thy self out-done. But all
The World may grieve epidemical.
Heaven frowns indeed. But what makes Hell enraged,
Sweet Pluto be at Peace, we have engaged.

Praelegenda to the succeeding Poem, viz. The Wife-hater.

1. Why Women were made.
VVOman in the Beginning (as 'tis said)
To be an Help to Man was chiefly made:
Then ought not Women much to be commended,
Who answer th'end for which they were intended?
Women were made to help Men, so they do,
Some unto Sorrow, Grief, Diseases too;
Others do their kind Husbands help to spend
Their whole Estates; thus answer they their End.
Some help men unto more than they were born
To have (I mean) Actoeons Head and Horn.
2. Of what Woman was made.
Crooked-condition'd Nature made her, when
She form'd her of the crookedst Parts in Men:
Nature first fram'd her of a Mans Rib, she
Then can't chuse but a cross-grain'd Creature be.
And ever since (it may not be deny'd)
Poor Man hath Subject been t'a Stich i'th'side.
Yet some there are who in a grateful Mind,
Would soundly rib their Husbands, could they find
A good tough Cudgel, and make this their Answer.
They but restore what Eve stole from their Grandsire:
And 'tis a Reason too (as't hath been try'd)
A bad Wife sits so close to her Husbands side.
3. What they committed so soon as they were made.
No sooner made, but she runs into all
Mischief her self, then causeth Man to fall:
And now that Judgment on their Sex is doubled,
They'r with a two-fold Falling-Sickness troubled.
4. To what they are now likened.
Women in Love and Lust compared be
Unto a Pumice-Stone, for that we see
Is full of Holes; so they when once in Love
Most hollow-hearted to their Servants prove;
In Love they like it are, 'cause they dissemble,
But when they lust most, they it most resemble.
[Page 267] Play with a lustful Girl, and you shall see,
How like unto the Pumice-stone she'll be,
Which Way soe'er you do her troul,
You'll find against you still an open Hole.

Vituperium Uxoris: or the Wife-hater.

1.
HE that intends to take a Wife,
I'll tell him what a kind of Life
He must be sure to lead;
If shee's a young and tender Heart,
Not documented in Loves Art,
Much teaching she will need.
2.
For where there is no Path, one may
Be tir'd before he find the Way,
Nay, when he's at his Treasure;
The Gap perhaps will prove so streight,
That he for Entrance long may wait,
And make a Toil of's Pleasure.
3.
Or if one old, and past her doing,
He will the Chamber-maid be wooing,
To buy her Ware the cheaper;
But if he chuse one most Formose,
Ripe for't, shee'll prove libidinous,
Argus himself sha'nt keep her.
4.
For when these things are neatly drest,
They'll entertain each wanton Guest,
Nor for your Honour care;
[Page 268] If any give their Pride a Fall,
Th'have learn'd a trick to bear withal
So you their Charges bear.
5.
Or if you chance to play your Game
With a dull, fat, gross, heavy Dame,
Your Riches to encrease,
Alas! She will but jear you for't,
Bid you to find out better Sport,
Lie with a Pot of Grease,
6.
If Meager—be thy Delight,
She'll conquer in venereal Fight,
And waste thee to the Bones.
Such kind of Girls, like to your Mill,
The more you give, more crave they will,
Or else they'll grind the Stones,
7.
If black, 'tis odds she's div'lish proud,
If short, Xantippe like, too loud,
If long, she'll lazie be;
Foolish (the Proverb says) if fair,
If wise and comely, Danger's there,
Lest she do cuckold thee.
8.
If she bring store of Money, such
Are like to domineer too much,
Prove Mrs, no good Wife;
And when they cannot keep you under,
They'll fill the House with scolding Thunder,
What worse than such a Life?
9.
But if her Dowry only be
Beauty, farewell Felicity,
Thy Fortunes cast away;
Thou must be sure to satisfie her
In Belly, and in Back-desire,
To labour Night and Day.
10.
And rather than her Pride give o'er,
She'll turn perhaps an honoured Whore,
And thoul't Actoeon'd be;
Whilest like Actoeon thou maist weep,
To think thou forced art to keep,
Such as devour thee.
11.
If being Noble thou dost wed
A servile Creature basely bred,
Thy Family it defaces;
If being mean, one nobly born,
She'll swear to exalt a Courtlike Horn,
Thy low Descent it Graces.
12.
If one Tongue be too much for any,
Then he who takes a Wife with many,
Knows not what may betide him;
She whom he did for Learning honour,
To scold by Book will take upon her,
Rhetorically chide him.
13.
If both her Parents living are,
To please them you must take great care,
Or spoil your future Fortune;
[Page 270] But if departed th'are this Life,
You must be parent to your Wife,
And Father all, be certai [...]
14.
If bravely drest, fair-fac'd and witty,
Shee'll oft be gadding to the City,
Nor can you say her nay.
She'll tell you (if you her deny)
Since Women have Terms she knows not why,
But they still keep them may.
15.
If you make choice of Country Ware,
Of being Cuckold, there's less Fear,
But stupid Honesty
May teach her how to sleep all Night,
And take a great deal more Delight,
To milk the Cows than thee.
16.
Concoction makes their Blood agree
Too near, where's Consanguinity;
Then let no Kin be chosen▪
He loseth once Part of his Treasure,
Who thus confineth all his Pleasure,
To th'Arms of a first Cozen.
17.
He'll never have her at Command,
Who takes a Wife at second Hand,
Then chuse no widdow'd Mother:
The first Cut of that Bit you love,
If others had, why main't you prove
But Taster to another?
18.
Besides, if she bring Children many,
'Tis like by thee she'll not have any,
But prove a barren Doe;
Or if by them, she ne'er had one,
By thee 'tis likely she'll have none,
Whilst thou for Weak-back goe.
19.
For there where other Gard'ners have been sowing
Their Seed, but ne'er could find it growing,
You must expect so too;
And where the Terra incognita
'So'er plow'd, you must it fallow lay,
And still for Weak-back go.
20.
Then trust not to a Maiden Face,
Nor Confidence in Widdows place,
Those weaker Vessels may
Spring-leak, or split against a Rock,
And when your Fames wrapt in a Smock,
'Tis easily cast away.
21.
Yet be she fair, foul, short, or tall,
You for a time may love them all,
Call them your Soul, your Life,
And one by one them undermine,
As Courtizan, or Concubine,
But never as married Wife.
He who considers this, may end the Strife,
Confess no Trouble like unto a Wife.

To Prince Rupert.

O that I could but vote my self a Poet!
Or had the Legislative knack to do it!
Or, like the Doctors Militant, could get
Dub'd at Adventures Verser Banneret!
Or had I Cacus Trick to make my Rhimes
Their own Antipodes, and track the Times:
Faces about, says the Remonstrant Spirit;
Allegiance is Malignant, Treason Merit:
Huttington-colt, that pos'd the Sage Recorder,
Might be a Sturgeon now, and pass by Order:
Had I but Elsing's Gift (that splay-mouth'd Brother)
That declares one way, and yet means another:
Could I but write a-squint; then (Sir) long since
You had been sung, A Great and Glorious Prince.
I had observ'd the Language of the Days;
Blasphem'd you; and then Periwigg'd the Phrase
With Humble Service, and such other Fustian,
Bells which ring backward in this great Combustion
I had revil'd you; and without Offence,
The Literal, and Equitable Sence
Would make it good: When all fails, that will do't:
Sure that Distinction cleft the Devil's Foot.
This were my Dialect, would your Highness please
To read me but with Hebrew Spectacles;
Interpret Counter, what is Cross rehears'd:
Libells are Commendations, when revers'd.
Just as an Optick Glass contracts the Sight
At one end, but when turn'd doth multip'y't.
But you're enchanted, Sir; you're doubly free
From the great Guns, and squibbing Poetry:
[Page 273] Whom neither Bilbo, nor Invention pierces,
Proof even' gainst th' Artillery of Verses.
Strange! That the Muses cannot wound your Mail;
If not their Art, yet let their Sex prevail.
At that known Leaguer, where the Bonny Besses
Supplyed the Bow-strings with their twisted tresses,
Your Spells could ne'er have fenc'd you; every Arrow
Had launc'd your noble Breast, & drunk the Marrow:
For beauty, like white Powder makes no Noise;
And yet the silent Hypocrite destroys.
Then use the Nuns of Helicon with pity,
Lest Wharton tell his Gossips of the City,
That you kill Women too, nay Maids; and such
Their General wants Militia to touch.
Impotent Essex! Is it not a Shame
Our Common-wealth like to a Turkish Dame,
Should have an Eunuch-Guardian? May she be
Ravish'd by Charles, rather than sav'd by thee.
But why, my Muse, like a Green-Sickness Girl,
Feed'st thou on Coals and dirt? a Gelding-Earl
Gives no more Relish to thy Female Palate,
Then to that Ass did once the Thistle Sallate.
Then quit the barren Theme; and all at once
Thou and thy Sisters like bright Amazons,
Give RUPERT an Alarum, RUPERT! One
Whose Name is Wits Superfaetation.
Makes Fancy, like Eternity's round Womb,
[...]nite all Valour; present, past, to come.
He, who the old Philosophy controuls,
That voted down Plurality of Souls.
He breaths a grand Committee; all that were
The Wonders of their Age, constellate here.
And as the Elder Sisters, Growth and Sence
Souls paramount themselves) in Man commence
[Page 274] But Faculties of Reasons Queen; no more
Are they to him, who were compleat before.
Ingredients of his Vertue thread the Beads
Of Caesar's Acts, great Pompey's and the Sweeds:
And 'tis a Bracelet fit for Rupert's Hand,
By which that vast Triumvirate is span'd.
Here, here is Palmestry; here you may read
How long the world shall live, and when't shall bleed.
Whatever Man winds up, that RUPERT hath:
For Nature rais'd him of the Publick Faith,
Pandora's Brother, to make up whose Store,
The Gods were fain to run upon the Score.
Such was the Painters Brieve for Venus Face;
Item an Eye from Iane, a Lip from Grace.
Let Isaac and his Cit'z. flea off the Plate
That tips their Antlets for the Calf of State;
Let the Zeal-twangling Nose, that wants a Ridge,
Snuffling devoutly, drop his Silver Bridge:
Yes; and the Gossips Spoon augment the Summ,
Although poor Caleb lose his Christendom:
Rupert out weighs that in his Sterling-self,
Which their Self-wants pays in commuting Pelf.
Pardon, great Sir; for that Ignoble Crew
Gains, when made bankrupt, in the Scales with you.
As he, who in his Character of Light
Stil'd it Gods Shadow, made it far more bright
By an Eclipse so glorious; (Light is dim,
And a black Nothing, when compar'd to him)
So 'tis Illustrious to be Ruperts Foil,
And a just Trophey to be made his Spoil.
I'll pin my Faith on the Diurnals Sleeve
Hereafter, and the Guild-Hall Creed believe:
The Conquests which the Common-Council hears,
With their wide list'ning Mouths from the great
Peers,
[Page 275] That ran away in Triumph: Such a Foe
Can make them Victors in their Overthrow.
Where Providence and Valour meet in one,
Courage so pois'd with Circumspection,
That he revives the Quarrel once again
Of the Souls Throne, whether in Heart or Brain;
And leaves it a drawn Match: Whose Fervour can
Hatch him, whom Nature poach'd but half a Man.
His Trumpet, like the Angel's at the last,
Makes the Soul rise by a miraculous Blast.
'Twas the Mount Athos carv'd in Shape of Man
(As't was defin'd by th' Macedonian)
Whose right Hand should a populous Land contain,
The left should be a Channel to the Main:
His Spirit might inform th' Amphibious Figure;
Yet straight-lac'd Sweats for a Dominion bigger:
The Terror of whose Name can out of seven,
(Like Falstaffe's Buckram-men) may fly eleven.
Thus some grow rich by breaking; Vipers thus
By being slain are made more numerous.
No wonder they'l confess, no Loss of Men;
For Rupert knocks'em til they gig agen.
They fear the Giblets of his Train, they fear
Even his Dog, that foun-legg'd Cavalier:
He that devours the Scraps, which Lunsford makes,
Whose Picture feeds upon a Child in Stakes:
Who name but Charles, he comes aloft for him,
But holds up his Malignant Leg at Pym.
'Gainst whom they've several Articles in Souse;
First, that he barks against the Sense o'th'House.
Resolv'd Delinquent, to the Tower straight;
Either to th' Lyons, or the Bishop's Grate.
Next, for his Ceremonious Wag o'th'Tail:
But there the Sisterhood will be his Bail,
[Page 276] At least the Countess will, Lust's Amsterdam,
That lets in all Religious of the Game.
Thirdly, he smells Intelligence, that's better,
And cheaper too, then Pym's from his own Letter:
Who's doubly pay'd (Fortune or we the blinder?)
For making Plots, and then for Fox the Finder.
Lastly, he is a Devil without doubt;
For when he would lie down, he wheels about;
Makes Circles, and is couchant in a Ring;
And therefore score up one for conjuring.
What canst thou say, thou Wretch? O Quarter, Quarter!
I'm but an Instrument, a meer St. Arthur.
If I must hang, O let not our Fates vary,
Whose Office 'tis alike to fetch, and carry.
No hopes of a Reprieve, the Mutinous Stir
That strung the Jesuit will dispatch a Cur.
Were I a Devil as the Rebel fears,
I see the House would try me by my Peers.
There Iowler, there! Ah Iowler? 'st? 'tis nought
Whate'er the Accusers cry, they're at a Fault;
And Glyn, and Maynard have no more to say,
Then when the Glorious Strafford stood at Bay.
Thus Labells but annex'd to him we see,
Enjoy a Copy-hold of Victory.
St. Peters Shadow heal'd, Ruperts is such,
'Twould find St. Peters Work, yet wound as much.
He gags their Guns, defeats there dire Intent,
The Canons do but lisp and Complement.
Sure Iove descended in a leaden Shower
To get this Perseus: Hence the fatal Power
Of Shot is strangled: Bullets thus allied,
Fear to commit an Act of Parricide.
Go on brave Prince, and make the World confess
Thou art the greater World, and that the less.
[Page 277] Scatter th'accumulative King; untruss
That five-fold Fiend, the States SMECTYMNUUS;
Who place Religion in their Vellum-ears;
As in their Phylacters the Jews did theirs.
England's a Paradise, (and a modest Word)
Since guarded by a Cherub's flaming Sword.
Your Name can scare an Athiest to his Prayers;
And cure the Chin-cough better then the Bears.
Old Sybil charms the Tooth-ake with you: Nurse
Makes you still Children, nay and the pond'rous curse
The Clowns salute with, is deriv'd from you;
(Now RUPERT take thee, Rogue; how dost thou do?)
In fine, the Name of Rupert thunders so,
Kimbolton's but a rumbling Wheel-barrow.

An Elegy upon Mr. John Cleveland.

PRime Wits are prun'd the First; this may appear
By that high-valued Piece interred here;
Whose Laureat Genius rapt with Sacred Skill
Prov'd his Extraction from Pernassus Hill;
Whose Fame, like Pallas Flame, shone in each Clime,
Crowning his Fancy royally Divine.
Rich in Elixar'd Measures, and in all
That could breath Sense in Airs Emphatical.
Pure Love his Native Influence; A Lot
Given him from Heav'n; No People save the Scot
But did affect him:—These had lov'd Him too,
Had he school'd Baseness with a smoother Brow;
But his refined Temper scorn'd t'ingage
His Pen to Time, or Humour any Age.
Compleat in all that might true Honour gain
Only an Enemy to Withers Strain:
[Page 278] Holding it still the Prodigy of Time
To Canonize a Poet for a Rhyme.
Free in Fruition of himself: Content,
In what dis-relish'd Servile Sp'rits, Restraint.
Now some will say, His Uolume was too small,
To rear an Hermian Arch or Escural,
To his dilated Fame:—O do not put
These frivolous Objections! Homers Nut
Inclos'd a living Iliad. 'Tis not much
Perpetuates our Memory, but such
As can act Wonders: And apply a Cure
To States surprized with a Calenture?
And with their Quill, beyond all Chymick Art,
Purge the Corruptions of a State-sick Heart
By rare Phlebotomy:—This Art was His,
Which made his Name so precious as it is
Such was the Practice of a Golden Time
To spare the Person, but to taxe the Crime.
Age is not summ'd by Years but Hours; as Times,
So [...] are ballanc'd not by Leaf but Lines.
Clitus affirm'd, and bound it with an Oath,
That Celsus Poems were meer Food for th'Moth.
And for those Manuscrips which Mevius writ,
They might be styl'd the Surquedry of Wit.
Look home; and weigh the Fancies of these Days
And you'l conclude, they merit equal Praise.
A Title or a Frontispiece in Plate.
Drawn from a Person of Desertless State,
Lures Legions of Admirers.—Wits must want
That holds a Distance with the Sycophant.
Timists be only Thrivers: But a Brain
That's freely Generous scorns Servile Gain.
Such was this pure Pernassian, whose clear Nature
To gain a World could never brook to flatter.
[Page 279] Poize this Imparallel; and you will find
A Mine of Treasures in a Matchless Mind.
"No more! The Name of Cleveland speaks to me
"A living Annal, dying Elegy.

Upon the pittiful Elegy writ lately on him; modestly taxed and freely vindicated, by the canded Censure of an indeared Bro­ther.

SInce thy Remove form Earth, there came to me,
A Funeral Elegy addrest to thee:
Elegiacks made gracious by thy Name,
But too short-lung'd to parallel thy Fame.
Laurel and Bays were the Subjects of his Pen,
Whose muddy Muse deserved none of them.
A sublimated Style bereft of Sense,
Is like a Brain-strapt Justice on a Bench,
Whose Tones are Thunder, Fury and Command,
But in a Dialect none understand.
Thy Native Fancy was no Lucian Dream,
Deriv'd from th'Chrystal Rills of Hypocrene:
Thy free-born Genius did it self express
Iu Phidias Colours without forreign Dress.
Much like the Damask Rose but newly blown,
And blusheth in no tincture but her own.
Such was thy Posie; which th'Albion State
May envy or admire, scarce imitate.
In purest Odes Bards should thy Loss bemoan,
And in surviving Measures, or in none.
For these who want Art to Imbellish Worth,
Wrong them whom they endeavour to set forth.
[Page 280] "Sic perit Ingenium, Genii ni pignora vitam
"Perpetuam statuant, & Monumenta struant.
"Aurea sic docilem coluerunt Secula vatem,
"Ordine Pieridum commemorando parem.
Auson.

An Elegy in Memory of Mr: John Cleveland.

SOon as a Verse with Feet as swift as Thought,
The Stabbing News of Clevelands Death had brought
To sad Parnassus, the distracted Nine
First in a dismal Shriek their Voices joyn:
Which the forkt-Hill did eccho twice, and then
Each Eye seem'd chang'd into an Hippocrene;
As if like Niobe 'twere their Intent
To weep themselves into his Monument:
Nor did their Grief exceed their Loss; his Quill
More Love and Honour gain'd to th'Muses Skill.
Then all those Modern Factions of Wit,
Such as 'gainst Gondibert, or for him writ;
And such, whom their Rhymes so much do affect
To be esteem'd o'th'Court or Colledge Sect;
Whose Lines with Clevelands, such Proportion hold,
As the New-Court, and Colledges, with th'Old:
How lofty was his Strain, yet clear and even,
The Center of [...]s Conceptions was Heaven:
'Twas not his Muses toyl, but ease to soar,
He writ so high, cause he could write no lower;
And though the World in English Poetry,
No Monarch knew so absolute as He;
[Page 281] Yet did he ne'er Excise the Natives; nor
Made Forreign Mines unto his Mint bring Oar.
He, his own Treasure was; and as no Quill
Was Guide to his, so shall his Verse be still
Un-imitated by the best; and free
From meaner Poets Petty-larceny:
That Plagiary that can filch but one
Conceipt from Him, and keep the Theft unknown,
At Noon from Phaebus, may by the same Sleight
Steal Beams and make'em pass for his own Light.
W. W.

An Elegy, offered to the Memory of that Im­comparable Son of Apollo, Mr. John Cleveland.

GRief the Souls Sables, in my Bosom lies
A true Close-mourner at thy Obsequies,
Whilst Tears in Floods from my o'er-charg'd Eyes ran
With Grief to drown the little World of man.
He that survives this Loss, may justly say,
His Soul doth Pennance in a Sheet of Clay;
And rather welcome Death, than patient sit
To solemnize the Funeral of Wit.
The Painter Agamemnon's Face did screen,
Drawing the Sacrifice of Iphygene,
To shew his grieved Looks as well as Heart,
Did far transcend the humble reach of Art;
So when all's said, that can be said, we find
There's nothing said, to what he left behind.
But his all searching Soul scorning to be
Confin'd to th'limits of Mortality;
[Page 282] Shook off its clog of Flesh, that pond'rous Mass,
His Spirit freer than his Country was;
For Fate his Life might circumscribe and bound,
But in his Circle Wit, no end is found.
His Wit, Oh Miracle! (For who is he
Dares name his Wit without an Extasie?)
That Wit which was to several Tenants let,
In him as in their proper Landlord met;
For what in other petty Sparks was found,
In him's contracted as one Diamond:
His Rays ne'er darkned, but with Lustre wun,
He with his Eagle-eyes out-star'd the Sun:
He was a Fountain, whose pure Stream did grow
Unbounded, never us'd to ebb, but flow,
As ever new, still streaming fresh Delights,
And never so low drawn, as to run Whites;
For in Discourse his Wit did never rest,
When others were aground with one dry Jest:
Nor did his meagre Looks proclaim that he
Did pine in study for his Poetry,
Like such pale Apparition's Ghost-like Elves,
That fatten Paper, and yet starve themselves,
Whose Pireskean Pictures seem to be
Diseas'd, with time decay'd Antiquity;
Though for his strongest Lines in Verse and Prose
He travell'd hard, yet he no Flesh did lose:
In others what comparatively's found,
In him superlatively did abound:
No Vice the Anger of his Pen could slip,
Who did whole Nations to Repentance whip.
His honest Soul in Consultation sate,
Unmasking Vices, both of Church and State.
It was not Power, but Justice made him write,
No Ends could May-like, turn him Parasite.
[Page 283] The Cause by Candles-end he did not rate,
When others Pens did Truth assassinate:
[...]y danger heightned, and made nobly fierce,
[...]or was his Prose less biting than his Verse.
[...]is Rebel Scot, was not a smarter Satyr,
[...]han his Diurnal, and Diurnal-maker:
[...]e made the Devil blacker; drest in white,
[...]oving the Zealot the worst Hypocrite;
[...]lling the Vail from the Reformers Face,
[...]e left the Rebel to supply his place.
[...]e that affirm'd ('gainst Sense) Snow Black to be
Might prove it by this Amphybology:
Things are not what they seem, we may suppress
[...]ome Crimes, and raise the Devils Holiness.
The Presbyterian he did un-nest,
With the whole Kennel o'th'two-footed Beast,
[...]ed with the Bishops and the Clergies Blood,
Right Canabals that made the Church their Food.
The Senate Sir Iohns Appetite did prove,
And paid him part of his Arrears in Love.
The barbarous Scots are stigmatiz'd by him,
[...]or their Rebellion, our Apostate Pim;
[...]ay, the just Fury of his Pen had thrown
The Nation too into Oblivion,
Had not the fam'd Montross puts Anger by,
Rais'd th'Highlands higher in their Loyalty;
And Rupertissimus, consecrated Wars,
By giving Smec so many hideous Scars.
I. M.

An Elegy on Mr. Cleveland, and his Verse on Smectymnuus.

POor Dablers all bemir'd, that spur their Lank
Pegasus, from Shoulder to the Flank,
When Weather-beaten in a Shower of Sack,
Jogg still as things bejaded ride in black,
Who t'reach the Muses Seat, lash and put on,
But fall short, and draw Bit at Trumpington:
See with what Pangs they labour, and produce
A still-born Poem, and then hug their Muse.
Others like Chymists thrive, who fain would wi [...]
By Force what God and Nature ne'er put in,
Yet these bear Name and Voice: The smallest Boa [...]
Appears if in the narrow Thames it float,
But vanisheth away in the vast Main,
Which was before the Rivers Soveraign:
Such was the Fate of my weak Streams, that ra [...]
To drown themselves in th'unbound Ocean,
And lose their Name in His, to whom the Nine
Bow down, and render up their Sacred Shrine.
We poor Retainers angle for a thin
Fancy, his like a Drag-Net sweeps all in;
And as Gold-drivers that makes Spangles rare,
Do beat the yielding Metal into Air:
As Generals in War their Strength contrive,
To make three Troops of Men seem more than five;
We practice frugal Wit, and play't at length,
In sleek and smoother Numbers without Strength,
His like the swift sure Ship is firmly built,
Of deepest Bottom, and most stately gilt,
If Number wants there, as in ruins, th'Face
Though rough betrays the Treasure of the place.
[Page 285] We strugling, Words into their Fetters frame,
[...]s Printers use to fit and joyn the same.
His large Commands have all in Power to chuse,
[...]nd 'tis the greatest Labour to refuse:
We seldom shoot to make some Glimpse of Day,
[...]is thick as Atomes in the Sun-shine play;
[...]nd therefore (Sir) just is the Accusation
[...]ou're charg'd with, this strong Accumulation
[...]bverts the Fundamentals, 'tis your Crime
[...]' upbraid the State-Poeticks of this time
With Wit so insolent, though Phoebus be
The Pleader, our Notes ne'er shall set you free,
[...]or Smec 'tis sure the Conquest all is mine.
[...]ee how the Vipers through the Amber shine,
[...]nd bravely carv'd, as Indians joy to see
Themselves so cut, although in Imag'ry.
[...]nd tell me when Domitian slew the Fly,
Did he deserve the Laurel Victory?
[...]ad brawny Hercules the Hydra slain,
[...] much beneath his Strength, wer't not a Stain
To all his former Labours, and a Brand,
[...]ch as to melt with Distaff in his Hand?
[...]was Smec's Ambition (Sir) thus to stand high,
[...]nd be conspicuous, though o'th Pillory.
Then as you love Religion surcease,
[...]or now the Knaves begin themselves to please.
[...]nce they'r vouchsaf'd the Pen, the monstrous Fry
[...]ike Serpents with fair Speckles strike the Eye.
[...]e seen a Toad by curious Art so drest,
[...]adies have hugg'd the Venom in their Breast:
[...]orbear hereafter, Vice, to paint so well,
[...]ch Draughts may hap t'enlarge the Pow'r of Hell.
[...]nce writ by Ben, inspir'd by lusty Wine,
We love Sejanus and bold Cataline.

The Elegy made upon Mr. John Cleveland▪ Death cry'd i'th'Streets, he being then in good Disposition of Health.

HE whom the Muses have forbid to dye
Durst Ignorance (Arts Enemy) bely,
To rhyme him dead? She as well might say,
That he like other Men was common Clay;
Or that his Soul had nothing in it higher,
Than poor Promethean Poets, meer stol'n Fire.
But when His shall disrobe it self, it shall be sed,
He's gone to sleep alone in Fames high Bed,
B'ing both the Nations, and the Muses Wonder,
Where all Poeticks else may truckle under;
For 'tis impossible Him to entomb,
For whose Fam'd Name all Brittains Isles want roo [...]
I. Parry.

News from Newcastle: Or, Newcastle Coa [...] ­pit.

ENgland's a perfect World, hath Indies too,
Correct your Maps, Newcastle is Peru!
Let the Haughty Spaniard triumph till 'tis told,
Our sooty Minerals purifie his Gold:
This will sublime, and hatch the abortive Oar,
When the Sun tires, and Stars can do no more.
No Mines are currant, unrefin'd and gross,
Coals make the Sterling, Nature but the Dross.
For Mettals, Bacchus like, two Births approve,
Heaven heats the Semele, and ours the Iove.
[Page 287] Thus Art doth polish Nature, 'tis the Trade,
[...] every Madam, hath her Chamber-maid.
Who'd dote on Gold, a thing so strange and odd,
[...]is most contemptible when made a God.
[...]ll Sin and Mischief hence have rise and swell,
One India more would make another Hell.
Our Mines are Innocent, nor will the North
Tempt poor Mortality with too much Worth:
They'r not so precious, rich enough to fire
[...] Lover, yet make none Idolater.
The moderate Value of our guiltless Oar,
Makes no Man Atheist, nor no Woman Whore.
Yet why should hallow'd Vestals sacred Shrine,
Deserve more Honour than a flaming Mine?
These pregnant Wombs of Heat would fitter be
Than a few Embers for a Deity.
Had he our Pits, the Persian would admire
No Sun, but warm's Devotion at our Fire:
He'd leave the trotting Whipster, and prefer
Our profound Vulcan'bove that Wagoner.
For wants he heat? Or Light or would have Store
Or both? 'Tis here: And what can Suns give more?
Nay, what's the Sun, but in a different Name,
A Coal-pit rampant, or a Mine on Flame?
Then let this Truth reciprocally run,
The Sun's Heaven's Coalery, and Coals our Sun:
A Sun that scorcheth not, lockt up i'th'Deep,
The Lyons chain'd, the Bandog is asleep.
That Tyrant Fire, which uncontroul'd doth rage
Here's calm and husht, like Bajazet i'th'Cage;
For in each Coal-pit there doth couchant dwell,
A muzzled Aetna, or an innocent Hell.
Kindle the Cloud, you'll Lightning then descry,
Then will a Day break from the gloomy Sky:
[Page 288] Then you'll unbottom, though December blow,
And sweat i'th'midst of Isicles and Snow;
The Dog-days then at Christmas. Thus is all
The Year made Iune, and Equinoctial.
If Heat offends, our Pits affords us Shade:
Thus Summer's Winter, Winter's Summer made
What need we baths? What need we bower, or grove
A Coal-pit's both a Ventiduct and Stove.
Such Pits and Caves were Palaces of old,
Poor Inns (God wot) yet in an Age of Gold;
And what would now be thought a strange Design,
To build a House was then to undermine:
People liv'd under Ground, and happy Dwellers,
Whose jovial Habitations were all Cellars:
These primitive Times were Innocent, for then
Man who turn'd after Fox, made but his Den.
But see a Fleet of Vitals trim and fine,
To court the rich Infanta of our Mine,
Hundreds of Grim Leanders do confront,
For this lov'd Hero, the loud Hellespont.
'Tis an Armado Royal doth engage
For some new Hellen, with this Equipage:
Prepared too, should we their Addresses bar,
To force this Mistress with a ten years War;
But that our Mine's a common Good, a Joy,
Made not to ruin, but enrich our Troy.
But oh! These bring it with them, and conspire
To pawn that Idol for our Smoke and Fire.
Silver's but Ballast, this they bring on Shore,
That they may treasure up our better Oar:
For this they venture Rocks and Storms, defie
All the Extremity of Sea and Sky.
For the glad Purchase of this precious Mold,
Cowards dare Pyrats, Misers part with Gold;
[Page 289] Hence is it when the doubtful Ship sets forth,
The naving Needle still directs it North,
And Nature's secret Wonder to attest,
Our Indies Worth discards both East and West
For Tine: Not only Fire commends this Spring,
A Coal-pit is a Mine of every thing.
We sink a Jack of all Trades, shop and sound,
An inverse Burse, an Exchange under Ground.
This Proteus Earth converts to what you'll ha't,
Now you may wear't to Silk, now com't to Plate,
And what's a Metamorphosis more dear,
Dissolve it, and 'twill turn to London Beer;
For whatsoe'er that gaudy City boast,
Each Month doth drive to our attractive Coast.
We shall exhaust their Chamber, and devour
Their Treasure of Guild-Hall, and Minto'th'Tower.
Our Staiths their mortgag'd Streets will soon deride,
Blazon their Cornhill-stella, share Cheapside:
Thus shall our Coal-pits Charity and Pity,
At distance undermine and fire the City.
Should we exact, they'd pawn their Wives, and treat,
To swop those Coolers, for our Soveraign Heat.
Bove Kisses and Embraces Fire controuls,
No Venus heightens like a Peck of Coals.
Medea was the Drug of some old Sire,
And Aesons Bath a lusty Sea-coal Fire.
Chimneys are old Mens Mistresses, their Inns,
A modern Dalliance with their meazled Shins.
To all Defects a Coal-heap gives a Cure,
Gives Youth to Age and Raiment to the Poor.
Pride first wore Cloths, Nature disdains Attire,
[...]he made us Naked, 'cause she gave us Fire.
[...]ull Wharfs are Wardrobes, and the Taylors Charm
Belongs to th'Collier, he must keep us warm.
[Page 290] The Quilted Alderman in all's Array,
Finds but cold Comfort in a frosty Day;
Girt, wrapt, and muffled, yet with all this Stir,
Scarce warm, when smother'd in his drowsie Fur:
Not Proof against keen Winters Batteries,
Should he himself wear all's own Liveries,
But Chil-blain under silver Spurs bewails,
And in embroidered Buck-skins blows his Nails.
Rich Meadows and full Crops are elsewhere found,
We can reap Harvest from our barren Ground.
The bald parcht Hills that circumscribe our Tine,
Are no less pregnant in their hungry Mine.
Their unfledg'd Tops so well content our Pallats,
We envy none their Nose-gays and their Sallats.
A gay rank Soil like a Young Gallant grows,
And spends it self that it may wear fine Cloths,
Whilst all its Worth is to its Back confin'd,
Our Wear's plain Out-side, but is richly lin'd.
Winters above, 'tis Summer underneath,
A trusty Morglay in a rusty Sheath.
As precious Sables sometimes interlace
A wretched Serge or Grogane Cassock Case:
Rocks own no Spring, are pregnant with noShow'rs,
Chrystals and Gems are there instead of Flowers.
Instead of Roses, Beds of Rubies sweet,
And Emeraulds recompence the Violet.
Dame Nature, not like other Madams, wears
(Where she is bare) Pearls in her Breasts and Ears.
What though our Fields present a naked Sight,
A Paradise should be an Adamite?
The Northern Lad his bonny Lass throws do [...],
And gives her a black Bag for a green Gown.

On the Inundation of the River Trent: The Scene Mascham and Holm, two opposite Villages on the River side near Newark.

WHen Heirs and Widows hoard up fresh supplies,
Bottle up Tears wrung from St. Swithins Eyes,
And the Hydropick Planets empty all
Their Experiments into their Urinal,
With Levies of Auxilliaries, sent
From lesser Rivers to rendezvouz in Trent:
It makes an Insurrection, and to pillage,
Quarters its Rebel-Forces in each Village.
All objects, the Inundation spreads so far,
(Like the Eye) but aggregates of Waters are.
In this Deucalion. Wrack let me intreat
Parnassus for to be my Ararat,
And pump a while before the Flood be gone,
What? So much Water, and no Helicon?
Swans sing and dye, so Poets Floods inspire,
These glib Hydriaclicks, Water is their Fire.
Come Neighbours, let's condole what will betide us,
Mascham and Holm, or Cestus and Abidos,
The jealous River now no more will pander,
Between our Heroes and the lov'd Leander.
Help! Xerxes! Help! Now Hellespont disdains
Its Fetters; see, it's loose, and we in Chains,
Took Prisoners, and our Durance such will be,
When Land appears, a Goal-delivery.
Newgate or Woodstreet's not a closer Stay,
Rocks but immure them there, and us the Sea.
And what's the Difference pray? Resolve us what
Betwixt a Counter—and a Water-Rat?
[Page 292] We must confess confin'd to Boats and Waves.
There's No Captivity to Gally-Slaves.
And though we hear no Storms nor Billows roar,
We cannot stir unless we tugg at Oar.
Our Scene's translated, Fate will have it so,
We live in Venice now or Mexico.
Or Amsterdam, our Parlors so in pickle,
Enough to make those in't a Conventicle.
Petty wrackt Strangers, tost we know not whither
Holm! Holm in England! Oh Sirs shew us thither
Yet sure 'tis England still, no other Nation
Can shew so much Land under Sequestration.
All's swallow'd up and drown'd, our Fifths, and all,
Something sweeps worse than Habber dashers-Hall
A guilty Tap-house feels the Floods Assault,
(Murder will out) and it had drown'd much Mault,
Must now it self be duckt by this just Tide,
Because it stood so nigh the Water-side.
See the tenth Wave into the House is tost,
And dubs a Captain Otter of mine Host,
Who with a File of bowzing Comrades there,
Resolve still not to leave their Dover Peer:
Thus fixt, they drink until their Noses shine,
A Constellation in this Watry Sign,
Which they Aquarius call; for by Degrees
Each Man perceives himself took up to th'Knees,
Yet still they and the Flood do Brimmers vye,
At last it sobs, and thus they drink him dry:
But these the spongy-Leeches of the Town,
Amphibious were, good Drinkers cannot drown:
We puny Dablers are as ill beset,
We whose unliquor'd Hides will turn no wet,
The Floods a Tenant too, until't retreats,
Great Rooms are Oceans, and the lesser Streights.
[Page 293] Tongues are confounded in a various Stile,
Our Computation runs by th'League, not Mile.
How soon the Earth dissolv'd, so soon that some,
That journeyed out, will make a Voyage Home.
They go aboard their Dwellings, and embark;
Houses are Ships, and Newark's a Noah's Ark.
The Cook mistakes his floating Seigniories
For Sound, and so takes Impost in his Fees.
Some truck for Rumps and Kidneys, he and's Spouse
Call them the Farmers of the Custom-house;
Now Bedfellows do one another greet
I'th' Saylors Phrase, Vere, vere, more Sheet.
Women are Syrens, for the wise Man wears,
When they strike up their Ela's, wax in's Ears,
Whose Fate is yet peculiar in this Flood,
To scape the Water and retain the Mud.
The inseparable Scum is so increast,
Another Flood will not make all clean Beast,
Yet still their Scene and their Complexion's right,
(Place them but where they paint the Devil white)
Our Townsmen, since of Floods, they must turn Skippers,
Will change their Religion too, and so turn Dippers.
Now they dispute, and no small Doubts propound,
Some say the Meadows swim, some say they [...] drown'd;
And 'tis disputed whether yea or no,
They are Ground Chambers still that overflow.
Their Hay is gone, and some the Question start,
How't could be fetcht away without a Cart?
But these submit to the rest of Learned Team,
Who strong'st conclude, it went away with Stream.
At last it is observ'd by all the Sages,
Who e'er set it on Work, they pay the Wages:
[Page 294] One Hotspur storms and swears that he and's Faction
Will sue the Flood, Trespass will [...]ear a [...] Action,
Then thought on's Lanlord, whom he fears hath sent
His Water-Bayli [...] thus to drive for Rent.
Haycocks to Sea are driven, where they'l muster,
And make of Scylla Isles another Cluster, Prize
Till vampt with more such Wracks, they grow a
For some Columbus new Discoveries.
The Stakes stand firm, though batter'd all the while,
These Pyramids are Proof against this Nile,
And might like Egypts Piles enjoy a Prime,
Wer't but for fiercer Teeth than those of Time.
What neither Floods nor Age can, Beasts will tear;
Our Beasts now starved lean, like Pharoahs are.
Strange Skeletons, for all the time of Flood,
They nothing had to chew but their own Cud;
And since alas! no work for Sy [...]he or Sickle,
(Poor Cattle) all their Commons are in Pickle.
This sure must needs produce a Chap-faln Pallat,
When without Meat they only feed on S [...]llat;
But these we prize, for most are sail'd away,
Who knows but to stock Hispaniola.
One Herd and's Flock in one kind Hill found Mercy,
Like Li [...]burn (and his Wool) in the Isle of Iersey.
A Barber's close, yet all would counter-bail,
Steept till the Corn grew Mault, and Water Ale.
Had we the Gotham Policy and Luck to
Hedge in the Water, as they did the Cuckow,
But oh! it soon retreats, and the Ebb is more
Disastrous to us than the Flood before.
The Fifth day lands us, Shews each Man his Ground,
But so much Slime, we can't see Ground for Ground.
The Flood's a single Tyrant, Bogs allow
No scape: Water and Earth both vex us now,
[Page 295] Till the Sun our Low-Countries purge, and then
Out-drink a Dutch-man draining of a Fen:
Till then our Trent is Acharon, we dwell
I'th'Stygian Lake, the Netherlands are Hell.
Rivers are Nymphs they say, something's the matter
Then sure with ours she cannot hold her Water,
Unless the Gossip, (th'Room's so on a Float)
Went drunk to Bed, and spilt her Chamber-pot:
Howe'er, since we're deliver'd let there be,
From this Flood too another Epoche.

For Sleep.

REturn Grief's Antidote, soft Sleep return,
Why do'st thy blithe Embrace adjourn?
Once more this Garrison of Sense surround,
It's wild Exorbitances Pound;
Lock the Cinque-Ports, the Centinels arraign,
Make Fractions in the Royal-Train.
2.
Sleep! The Souls Charter, Bodies Writ of Ease.
Reasons Reprieve, Fancies Release;
The Senses Non-term, Life's serenest Shore;
A smooth-fac't Death, thick candied o'er:
Catastrophe of Care, Time's balmy Close,
The Muses Eden and Repose.
3.
Sleep! The Days Centre, Nights Meridian,
Bright Meteor in the Sphere of Man;
A Grand Dictator in the Womb of Death,
Whilst the still returning Breath
Sails through Fears, Tears, and Joysat once,
With quick Reciprocations
4.
Sleep! The firm cement of unravel'd Hours,
Night usher'd with Ambrosial Show'rs;
[Page 296] Days Phylactery with her Spangles crown'd,
Fancy snatch'd up at first Rebound:
Fancies Exchequer, Natures younger Son,
Times other Iubilee begun.
5.
Sleep! The Worlds Evensong, Natures Anthem, bor [...]
Between the Lips of Night and Morn;
Heaven in a Mask, Sunday's Parhelion,
Preface to th' Resurrection.
Nepent he kissing out the wheeling Light;
Darkness emparadiz'd: Good Night.

Against Sleep.

BE gone Joy's Lethargy, pale Fiend, be gone,
Why this dull Fascination?
No more Life's Cittadel invade, no more,
Ravish its Sallies o'er and o'er;
Gag the Broad Gates, the Court of Guard Esso [...],
At these disjoynted thoughts rejoyn.
2.
Sleep! The Souls Wardship, but the Bodies Goal,
Reason's Assassine, Fancies Bail;
The Senses Curfew, Life and Loyal Breath
Min [...]'t small, and blended into Death:
Joys Explicite, unfathom'd Gu [...]f of time,
The Muses Fence, and frozen Clime.
3.
Sleep! The Night's Winter, Shadow of a Dream,
A dark Fog rampant, Horror's Theme;
Free Denizon of Darkness, Blisses Wane,
An untrim'd Chaos, Beauties Bane;
Youth's Sepulchre, a Parallel to Age,
A Negro fills Life's second Page.
4.
Sleep! The Days Colon, many Hours of Bliss
Lost in a wide [...]arenthesis:
[Page 297] Life in an Extasie, bound Hand and Foot,
Spirits entomb'd, and Time to boot:
The Trump of Solitude, a sprightly Flame,
Smother'd in Sables and made lame.
5.
Sleep! The Worlds Limbo, Nature's Discord Day,
Because a Mourner hurl'd away;
Hell pav'd with Down, a Purgatory skreen'd,
Death's Counterpane mixed with a Fiend;
Half time eclipst, and tinctured Black as Sorrow,
Light dungeon'd, manacled: Good Morrow.

On a little Gentleman profoundly Learned.

MAkes Nature Maps? Since that in thee
Sh'has drawn an University:
Or strives she in so small a piece,
To sum the Arts and Sciences?
Once she writ only Text-hand, when
She scribled Gyants, and no Men:
But now in her decrepit Years
She dashes Dwarfs in Characters,
And makes one single Farthing bear
The Creed, Commandments, and Lords Prayer:
Would she turn Art and imitate
Monte-rigos flying Gnat?
Would she the Golden Legend shut
Within the Cloyster of a Nut?
Or else a Musket-Bullet rear
Into a vast and mighty Spear?
Or pen an Eagle in the Caul
Of a slender Nightingale?
Or shews the Pigmies can create
Not too little but too great:
[Page 298] How comes it that she thus converts
So small a Totum, and great Parts?
Strives she now to turn awry
The quick Scent of Philosophy?
How so little matter can
So monstrous big a Form contain?
What shall we call (it would be known)
This Gyant and this Dwarf in one?
His Age is blaz'd in silver Hairs,
His Limbs still cry out want of Years.
So small a Body in a Cage,
May chuse a spacious Hermitage.
So great a Soul doth fret and fume
At th'narrow World for want of Room.
Strange Conjunction! Here is grown
A Mole-hill and the Alps in one.
In th'self same Action we may call
Nature both Thrist and Prodigal.

On an Ugly Woman.

AS Scriveners sometimes take Delight to see
Their basest Writing, Nature has in thee
Essay'd how much she can transgress at once
Appelles Draughts; Durers Proportions;
And for to make a Jest, and try a Wit,
Has not (a Woman) in thy Forehead writ;
But scribl'd so, and gone so far about,
Indagine would never smell thee out;
But might exclaim, here only Riddles be,
And Heteroclites in Physiognomy:
But as the mystick Hebrew backward lies,
And Algebra's, guest 'by Absurdities,
[Page 299] So must we spell thee; for who would suppose
That globous piece of Wanescot were a Nose,
That crookt et-caetera's were Wrinkles, and
Five Napiers Bones glew'd to a Wrist, and Hand;
Egyptian Antiquaries might survey
Here Hieroglyphicks, time hath worn away:
And wonder at an English Face, more odd
And antick, than was e'er a Memphian God;
Eras'd with more strange Letters than might scare
A raw and unexperienc'd Conjurer.
And tawny Africk Blush, to see her fry
Of Monsters in one Skin so kennel'd lie.
Thou mayst without a Guard her Deserts pass,
When Savages but look upon thy Face:
Were but some Pict now living, he would soon
Deem thee a Fragment of his Nation;
And wiser Ethiopians infer
From thee, that Sable's not the only Fair;
Thou Privative of Beauty, whose one Eye
Doth question Metaphysicks Verity;
Whose many cross Aspects may prove anon
Foulness more than a meer Negation.
Blast one Place still, and never dare t'escape
Abroad out of thy Mother Darkness Lap,
Left that thou make the World afraid, and be
Even hated by thy Nurse Deformity.

To the King recovered from a Fit of Sickness.

Most Gracious Sir,
NOw that you are recover'd, and are seen,
Neither to fright the Ladies, nor the Queen;
That you to Chappel come, and take the Air,
Makes that a Verse, which was before my Prayer:
[Page 300] For Sir, as we had lost you, or your Fate,
Not Sickness, had been told us, all of late.
So truly mourn'd, that we did only lack
One to begin, and put us all in Black.
The Court, as quite dissolv'd, did sadly tell,
White-Hall was only where the King is well.
Nor griev'd the People less, the Commons Eyes,
Free as their Loyal Hearts, wept Subsidies,
And in this publick Wee some went so far,
To think the Danger did deserve a Star,
Which though 'twere short: As but to show,
You would like one of us a Sickness know,
And that you could be mortal and to prove,
By Tryal of their Grief your Subjects Love,
Would keep your Bed, or Chamber, yet our [...]ear
Made that short time we saw you not, a Year;
So did we Reason mindless, and to gain
Your quick Recov'ry, striv'd to share your Pain;
Nay, such an Interest had we in your Health,
That in you sick'ned Church and Commonwealth.
Alas! to miss you was enough to bring
An Anarchy, but that your Life was King
More than your Scepter, and though you refrain'd
To come among us, yet your Actions reign'd;
They were our Pattern still, and we from thence,
Did in your Absence chuse our Rule and Prince.
And liv'd by your Example, which will stay,
And govern here, when you are turn'd to Clay.
For what is he, that ever heard or saw
Your Conversation, and not thought it Law?
Such a clear Temper, of so wise and sweet
A Majesty, where Power and Goodness meet
In just proportions; such Religious Care
To practice what you bid, as if to wear
[Page 301] The Crown or Robe were not enough to free
The Prince from that which Subjects ought to be.
Lastly (for all your Graces to rehearse,
Is fitter for a Story, than my Verse:)
Such a high Reverence do your Vertues win,
They teach without, and govern us within,
And so enlarge your Kingdoms, when they see
Our Minds more than our Bodies bend the Knee.
And though before you we stand only bare;
These make your Presence to be every where.

Upon the Birth of the Duke of York.

MAke big the Bonfires, for in this one Son,
The Queen's delivered of a Nation,
She hath brought forth a People, now we may
Confess our doubted Life, and boldly say,
This Prince compleats our Joy, because he can
Already make the Prince of Wales a Man,
And so confute the Nurse, when he shall see
Himself in him past his Minority.
Good morrow, Babe, welcome into that Air,
Which thou confirmestiours, which now we dare
Bequeath to our late Nephews that shall see
It always English in the Prince and thee,
And never know the doubtful Scepter stand
In Expectation of a chosen Hand;
Nor Danger of an armed, that may bar
The Crown from falling perpendicular,
And so cross Nature. For I must confess,
[...] wish the Prince such lasting Happiness,
And do commend to Providence this Work,
That the State may not need a Duke of York.
[Page 302] And think a g [...] and protected Heir,
Enough to silence any [...]odest Prayer:
Yet since the wiser Heavens do conceive
A way to bless Posterity, to leave
So much of Charles to them as they shall see
Drawn to the Life in so much Imag'ry,
And durst not trust a Chronicle, but wou'd
Derive his Virtues only in his Blood,
And thinking them too vast for one, did try
To coyn a Partner to his Legacy:
May Heaven proceed to keep him, may he shine
To mock the Poorness of the Indian Mine,
And scorn the Fleet, having a Treasure far
Above the Winds reach, or the Hollander.
So may he puzzle Statesman, and put down
All Reck' [...]mgs of Revenues to the Crown,
And alter the Kings Rents, for his two Sons
Must go for twenty Thousańd Millions;
And so make Charles the jealous World ally,
Thus grown too potent for an Enemy;
All those must study Leagues now, that had rather
Seem rich in any Title than of Father:
But may he [...]ill be dreadful so, and be
To these abroad fear'd as a Deity,
At home lov'd as a Father, whilst he thus
To them is Terror, a Shield to us.

On Parsons the great Porter.

SIr, or Great Grandsire, whose vast Bulk may [...]
A Burying-place for all your Pedigree:
Thou moving Colosse, for whose goodly Face,
The Rhy [...]e can hardly make a Looking-glass;
[Page 303] What piles of Victuals hadst thou need to chew,
Ten Woods or Morrets Throats were not enow;
Dwarf was he, whose Wife's Bracelets fit his Thum [...]
It would not on thy little Finger come.
If Iove in getting Hercules spent three
Nights, he might be Fifteen in getting thee.
What Name or Title suits thy Greatness, thou,
Aldiboronifuscorphornio?
When Gyants war'd with Iove, hadst thou bin one,
Where other Oaks, thou wouldst have Mountains thrown;
Wert thou but sick, what help could e'er be wrought,
Unless Physicians posted down thy Throat?
Wert thou to dye and Xerxes living, he
Would not pare Athos for to cover thee;
Wert thou t'enbalm, the Surgeons needs must scale
Thy Body, as when Labourers dig a Whale.
Great Sir, a People kneaded up in one,
Wee'll weigh thee by Ship-Burdens, not by th' Stone:
What Tempests might thou raise, what Whirlwinds when
Thou breath'st, thou great Leviathan of Men:
Bend but thy Eye a Country-man would swear,
A Regiment of Spaniards quarter'd there;
Smooth but thy Brow they'l say, there were a Plain,
T'act York and Lancaster once o'er again!
That Pocket-pistol of the Queens might be
Thy Pocket-pistol, sans Hyperbole:
Abstain from Garrisons, since thou may'st eat
The Turks, or Moguls Titles at a Bit.
Plant some new Land, which ne'er will empty be,
If she enjoy her Savages in thee:
Get from amongst us, since we only can
Appear like Sculls marcht o'er by Tamberlain.

On his going by Water, by the Parliament-house:

OH the sad Fate of unsuccessful Sin!
You see those Heads without, there's wors [...] within.

Upon coming into a Chamber called Parnassus, where the Gentry Arms (were depicted) of Norfolk and Suffolk, in Norwich.

HEre Gallants find their Arms, and so it's meet,
But where they find their Arms, they lose their▪
Feet.

Against ALE.

THou Juice of Lethe! O thou dull
Inhospitable Drink of Hull,
Not to be drunk, but in the Devils Scull;
Depriver of those solid Joys,
Which Sack creates: Author of Noise
Among the roaring Punks and Dammy-Boys:
On thy Account the Watch do sleep,
When they our Nightly Peace should keep,
Then Rogues and Cut-purses in at Windows creep.
2.
The Jug-broke Pate doth owe to thee
Its bloody Line and Pedigree,
Now Murther, and anon the Gallow-tree:
A Poet once did lick thy Juice,
But oh! How his benummed Juyce
Was mir'd in Non-sense, and in State abuse.
[Page 305] A Souldier once that would have pickt
Strife with the Devil, thy dull Broth had lickt,
That Night this Renown'd Turdibank was kickt.
3.
The other Night the Meal-man Will,
Did lap so largely of thy Swill,
Next Morn he let a Fart blew down his Mill:
That Lover was in pretty Case,
That trimm'd thee with a Ginger-race,
And after belched in his Mistress Face.
More of thy Vertues I could tell,
But that to speak of thee's half Hell,
Then take my Curse by Candle, Book, and Bell.
4.
May Bards that drink thee, write a small,
Insubstanc'd Line pedantical,
[...]nsinewy, aenigmatical;
Saltless and galless be thy Curse,
Numberless, rugged, empty, worse
Than the poor Poets empty Belly, Purse.
May he that brews thee wear a Nose
Richer than the Lord Mayor's Cloths,
The Sattin Clerry, or the Velvet Rose.
5.
May he that draws thee likewise wear
Carbuncle from Ear to Ear,
That Thatch and Linnen may stand off and fear;
[...]ay some old Hag-witch get astride.
[...]hy Bung, as if she meant to ride,
[...]n purpose for to lance thy yeasty Side:
[...]ay others be as sick as I,
[...]hat tope thee next; then down and dye
[...]or Ale, a Funeral-trap for Wasp, or Fly.

The Old Gill.

IF you will be still
Then tell you I will
Of a lovely old Gill,
Dwelt under a Hill:
Her Locks are like Sage
That's well worn with Age,
And her Visage would swage
A stout Mans Courage.
2.
Teeth yellow as Box,
Clean out with the Pox,
Her Breath smells like Lox,
Or unwiped Nocks.
She hath a devilish Grin,
Long Hairs on her Chin,
To the foul-footed Fin
She's nearly a kin.
3.
She hath a beetle Brow,
Deep Furrows enow
She's ey'd like a Sow,
Flat nos'd like a Cow▪
Lips swarthy and dun,
A Mouth like a Gun,
And her tattle doth run
As swift as the Sun.
4.
On her Back stands a Hill,
You may place a Windmill,
And the Farts of her Gill
Will make the Sails trill.
[Page 307] Her Neck is much like
The foul Swines in the dike;
Against Crab-lice and Tyke;
A blew Pin is her Pike.
5.
Within this Ano
There dwells an Hurricano,
And the Rift of her Plano
Vomits Smoke like Vulcano;
But a Pox of her Twist,
It is always bepist,
And the Devil's in his List,
That to her Mill brings Grist.
6
'Ware the dint of her Dirt,
She will give you a Flirt,
She has always the Squirt,
She is loose and ungirt;
Want of Wine makes her pant
Till she fizzle and rant,
And the hole in her Grant,
Is as deep as &c.
7.
Yea, as deep as a Well,
A Furnace or Kell,
A bottomless Cell,
Some think it is Hell.
But I have spoken my Fill
Of my lovely old Gill;
And 'tis taken so ill,
I'll lay down my Quill.

To the Queen upon the Birth of one of her Children.

THat Children are like Olive-branches, we
Took for a Figure, now 'twas Prophesie.
Your Births, great Queen, have made a new Account,
Who bring not forth some Olives, but the Mount;
And we, who wisht your Table half Way round
Beset with them, do now behold it crown'd.
Were there no other Court, or Nobles, yet
The King, we see, can his own Court beget:
Nay, in the first Worlds Age, he that could do
Like him, was Father of his Country too.
When in that Dearth of Subjects, Kings were fain
First to beget their Kingdoms, and then reign,
When their own Off-spring were their People; and
One Family both fill'd, and made the Land.
But I speak Treason, to say Princes Blood
Can e'er run into People, 'tis a Flood
Ev'n in the Fountain: Small Streams lose their Name;
Such Births, like th'Ocean are still the same.
No Number makes them private, we may call
Not all one Nation, but Nations all.
For as l've seen the Ark drawn like the Womb
Of the four Empires, and the World to come,
Out of whose Midst hath sprung a mystick Tree,
With every Branch a Genealogy,
Not of some House, but of the World, this Bough
For Europe, that for Africk we allow:
And all the other smaller Twigs there seen
Have stood for Isles, or Countrys: So, great Queen,
From you, as from the Ark, nothing can be
Born less than Kingdoms, or a Monarchy.
[Page 309] Your pains are all Imperial, and your Throws
Can bring forth nought that is not Great; yet those
For Daughters still have thus more publick been,
That you by them to Christendom lie in;
Your Sons may make us safe, but we the while
Must be a World divided, still an Isle,
We shall be now o'th'Continent; this Sex
Will makes't all one to conquer, or annex,
To be ally'd, will bring, what some in vain
Hope for by th'Sword, an universal Reign;
Which yet we may despair of, since we see
Europe to match yours, will want Progeny.

To Cloris, a Rapture.

COme Iulia, Come! Let's once disbody, what,
Straight Matter ties to this, and not to that?
We'l disingage, our bloodless Form shall fly
Beyond the reach of Earth, where ne'er an Eye
That peeps through Spectacles of Flesh, shall know
Where we intend, or what we mean to do.
[...]rom all Contagion of Flesh remov'd,
Wee'l sit in Judgment, on those Pairs that lov'd
[...]n old and latter times, then will we tear
Their Chaplets that did act by slavish Fear,
Who cherisht causeless Griefs, and did deny
[...]upids Prerogative by Doubt; or Tye;
[...]ut they that mov'd by Confidence, and clos'd
[...]one refining Flame, and never los'd
Their thoughts on Earth, but bravely did aspire
[...]nto their proper Element of Fire,
To these wee'l judge that Happiness to be
The Witnesses of our Felicity.
[Page 310] Thus wee'l like Angels move, nor will we bind
In Words the copious Language of our Mind,
Such as we know not to conceive, much less,
Without destroying in their Birth, express:
Thus will we live, and ('t may be) cast an Eye
How far Elysium doth beneath us lye▪
What need we cane, though milky Currents run
Amongst the silken Meadows, though the Sun
Doth still preserve by's ever walking Ray
A never discontinued Spring, or Day.
That Sun, though all its heat be to it brought,
Cannot exhale the Vapour of a Thought.
No, no, my Goddess, yet will thou and I,
Devested of all Flesh, so folded lie,
That ne'er a bodyed Nothing shall perceive
How we unite, how we together cleave;
Nor think this while our feather'd Minutes may
Fall under Measure, Time it self can stay
T'attend our Pleasures, for what else would be
But tedious Durance in Eternity?

An Elegy upon Ben. Johnson.

AS when the Vestall Hearth went out, no Fire,
Less Holy than that Flame that did expire,
Could kindle it again: So at thy Fall
Our Wits, Great B [...]n, are too Apocryphal
To celebrate thy Loss, since 'tis too much
To write thy Epitaph, and not be such.
What thou wert, like th'hard Oracles of old,
Without an Extas [...]e cannot be told.
We must be [...] first, thou must infuse
Thy self into us both the Theme and Muse:
[Page 311] Else, (though we all conspir'd to make thy Herse
Our Works) so that't had been but one great Verse;
Though the Priest had translated for that time
The Liturgy, and buried thee in Rhyme;
So that in Meeter we had heard it said,
Poetick Dust is to Poetick laid:
And though that Dust being Shake-spear's; thou might'st have
Not his Room, but the Poet for thy Grave;
So that as thou didst Prince of Numbers dye,
And live, so thou mightest in Numbers lie;
'Twere frail Solemnity; Verses on thee,
And not like thine, would but kind Libels be.
And we (not speaking thy whole Worth) should raise
Worse Blots than they that envied thy Praise.
Indeed thou needst us not, since above all
Invention, thou wert thine own Funeral.
Hereafter, when Time hath fed on thy Tomb,
Th'Inscription worn out, and the Marble dumb,
So that 'twould pose a Critick to restore
Half Words, and Words expir'd so long before;
When they maim'd Statue hath a Sentenc'd Face,
And Looks that are the Horror of the Place;
That 'twill be Learnings and Antiquity,
And ask a Selden to say, this was thee:
Thou'lt have a whole Name still, nor needst thou fear
That will be ruin'd, or lose Nose, or Hair.
Let others write so thin, that they can't be
Authors till rotten; no Posterity
Can add to thy Works; th'had their full growth then,
When first born, and came Aged from thy Pen;
Whilst living thou enjoyd'st the Fame and Sense
Of all that time gives, but the Reverence:
When th'art of Homers years, no Man will say
Thy Poems are less worthy, but more gray.
[Page 312] 'Tis Bastard Poetry, and o'th'false Blood,
Which can't without Succession be good,
Things that will always last, do thus agree
With things Eternal; th'at once perfect be.
Scorn then their Censures, who gave out, thy Wit
As long upon a Comedy did sit,
As Elephants bring forth; and that by Blots
And Mendings, took more time than Fortune plots▪
That such thy Draught was, and so great thy Thirst,
That all thy Plays were drawn at th'Mermaid first,
That the Kings yearly but wore, and his Wine
Hath more Right than thou to thy Cataline.
Let such Men keep a Diet, let their Wit
Be rackt, and while they write, suffer a Fit;
When th'have felt Tortures without Pain the Gout
Such, as with less, the State draws Treason out;
Though they should the Length of Consumptions lie
Sick of their Verse, and of their Poem dye;
'Twould not be thy worst Scene, but would at last
Confirm their Boastings, and shew made in haste.
He that writes well writes quick, since the Rule's true,
Nothing is slowly done, that's always new;
So when thy Fox had ten times acted been,
Each Day was first, but that 'twas cheaper seen;
And so thy Alchymist plaid o'er and o'er,
Was new o'th'Stage. when 'twas not at the Door.
We like the Actors did repeat, the Pit
The first time saw, the next conceiv'd thy Wit,
Which was cast in such Forms, such Rules, such Arts,
That but to some not half thy Acts were Parts,
Since of some silken Judgments we may say,
They fill'd a Box two hours, but saw no Play;
So that th'unlearned lost their Money, and
Scholars sav'd only, that could understand:
[Page 313] Thy Scene was free from Monsters, no hard Plot
Call'd down a God t'unty th'unlikely Knot.
The Stage was still a Stage, two Entrances
Were not two Parts o'th'World disjoyn'd by th' Seas:
Thine were Land-Tragedies, no Prince was found
To swim a whole Scene out, then o'th'Stage drown'd.
Pitcht Fields, as Red-bull Wars, still felt thy Doom,
Thou laidst no Sieges to the Musick Room;
Nor wouldst allow to thy best Comedies,
Humors that should above the People rise:
Yet was thy Language and thy Stile so high,
Thy Sock to th'Ancle, Buskin reach to th'Thigh;
And both so chaste, so 'bove Dramatick clean,
That we both safely saw, and liv'd thy Scene;
No foul loose Line did prostitute thy Wit,
Thou wrot'st thy Comedies, didst not commit.
We did the Vice arraign'd, not tempting hear,
And were made Judges, not bad Parts by th'Ear;
For thou even Sin didst in such Words array,
That some who came bad Parts, went out good Play;
Which ended not with th'Epilogue, the Age
Still acted, which grew Innocent from th'Stage.
'Tis true thou hadst some Sharpness, but thy Salt
Serv'd but with Pleasure to reform the Fault.
Men were laugh'd into Vertue, and none more
Hated Fool acted, then were such before;
So did they sting not Blood, but Humours draw,
So much did Satyr more correct than Law.
Which was not Nature in thee as some call,
Thy Teeth, who say thy Wit lay in thy Gall,
That thou didst quarrel first, and then in spight
Didst 'gainst a Person of such Vices write,
That't was Revenge, not Truth, that on thy Stage
Carlo was not presented but thy Rage.
[Page 314] And that when thou in Company wert met,
Thy Meat took Notes, and thy Discourse was Net.
We know thy free Vein had this Innocence,
To spare the Party, and to brand th'Offence,
And the just Indignation thou wert in these
Did not expose but shift his Tricks and Gir,
Thou mightst have us'd th'old Comick Freedom,
Might have seen themselves plaid, like Socrates,
Like Cleon Mammon might the Knight have been,
If as Greek Authors, thou hadst turn'd Greek Spleen,
And hadst not chosen rather to translate
Their Learning into English, not their Rate;
Indeed this last, if thou hadst been bereft
Of thy Humanity, might be call'd Theft,
The other was not, whatsoe'er was strange,
Or borrowed, in thee did grow thine by th'Change.
Who without Latin helps hadst been as rare
As Beaumont, Fletcher, or as Shake-spear were,
And like them, from thy Native Stock couldst say,
Poets and Kings are not born every Day.

An Epitaph.

STay, Gentle Reader, and shed o'er
Those sacred Ashes one Tear more.
These sad Accents cloathed in black,
Mourn him whom Church and State do lack,
And this weeping Marble Stone
Doth invite a parting Groan.
Here lies within this stony Shade
Natures Darling, whom she made
Her fairest Model, her brief Story,
In him heaping all her Glory.
[Page 315] Here lies one whom times of Old,
Among their Wonders had inroll'd,
Whose set Beams might well aspire,
Kindled by Poetick Fire,
Unto a starry Light, and there
For a Grave adorn a Sphere;
One so Valiantly strong,
He fear'd to do any wrong.
Learnings Glory, who alone
Was fit to write on his own Stone;
Here Tongues lie speechless, to be dumb
Is our best Epicedium.

Upon Wood of Kent.

SIr, much good do't ye, were your Table but
Pye-crust or Cheese, you might your Stomach shut
After your slice of Beef, what dare you try
Your Force on an Ell-square of Pudding-pye?
Perhaps 't may be a Tast, three such as you
Unbreakfasted, might serve Seraglio.
When Hannibal scal'd th' Alps hadst thou bin there
Thy Beef had drunk up all his Vinegar;
Well mightst thou be of Guard to Henry th'Eight,
Since thou canst, like a Pidgeon, eat thy Weight:
Full wise was Nature that would not bestow
These Tusks of thine into a double Row;
What Womb could e'er contain thee, thou canst shut
A Pond of Aviary in a Gut.
Had not thy Mother born thee toothless, thou
Hadst eaten, Viper-like, a Passage through;
Had he that wish'd the Cranes long Neck to eat,
Put in thy Stomach too, 't had been compleat.
[Page 316] Thou Noahs Ark, dead Sea, thou Golgotha,
Monsters beyond all Men of Africa!
Beasts prey on Beasts, Fishes to Fishes fall,
Great Birds feed on the lesser, thou on all:
Hath there been no Mistake, why may't not be,
When Curtius leapt the Gulf, 'twas into thee.
Now we'l believe that Man of Chica could
Make Pills of Arrows, and the Boy that would
Chew only Stones; nor can we think it vain,
That Doranetho eat up th'Neighbouring Plain.
Poor Chrysicthon, that could only feast
On one poor Girl, in several Dishes drest;
Thou hast devour'd as many Sheep, as may
Cloath all the Pastures in Arcadia;
Yet, O how temperate, that ne'er goes on
So far as to approach Repletion.
Thou breathing Cauldron, whose digestive heat
Might boyl the whole Provision of the Fleet;
Say Grace as long as Meals, and if thou please,
Breakfast with Islands, and drink Healths with Seas.

On Christ-Church Windows.

YOu that profane our Windows with a Tongue
Set like some Clock, on purpose to go wrong;
Who when you were at Service, sigh'd because
You heard the Organs Musick, not the Daws;
Pitying our solemn State, shaking your Head,
To see not Ruins from the Floor to th'Lead:
To whose pure Nose our Cedar gave Offence,
Crying, It smelt of Papists Frankincense;
Who walking on our Marbles, scoffing said,
Whose Bodies are under these Tombstones laid?
[Page 317] Counting our Tapers Works of Darkness, and
Choosing to see Priests in blew Aprons stand,
Rather than in rich Copes, which shew the Art
Of Sisera's Prey, embroider'd in each Part:
Then when you saw the Altars Bason, said,
Why's not the Ewer on the Cup-board laid?
Thinking our very Bibles too profane,
'Cause you ne'er bought such Covers in Duck-lane.
Loathing all Decency, as if you'ld have
Altars as foul, and homely as a Grave.
Had you one spark of Reason, you would find
Your selves like Idols, to have Eyes, yet blind;
'Tis only some base Niggard, Heresie,
To think Religion loves Deformity.
Glory did never yet make God the less,
Neither can Beauty defile Holiness.
What's more Magnificent than Heav'n, yet where
Is there more Love and Piety than there?
My Heart doth wish (were't possible) to see
Pauls built with precious Stones and Porphyry;
To have our Halls and Galleries outshine
Altars in Beauty, is to deck our Swine
With Orient Pearl, whilst the deserving Quire
Of God and Angels wallow in the Mire.
Our decent Copes only Distinction keep,
That you may know the Shepherd from the Sheep.
As gaudy Letters in the Rubrick show,
How you may Holy-days from Lay-days know;
Remember Aarons Robe, and you will say,
Ladies at Masque are not so rich as they.
Then are th'Priests Words like Thunder-claps, when he
Is Lightning-like ray'd down with Majesty;
May every Temple shine like those at Nile,
And still be free from Rat or Crocodile:
[Page 318] But you will urge, both Priest and Church should b [...]
The solemn Partners of Humility.
Do not some boast of Rags? Cynicks deride
The pomp of Kings, but with a greater Pride.
Meekness consists not in the Cloths, but Heart;
Nature may be Vain glorious well as Art:
We may as lowly before God appear,
D [...]est with a Glorious Pearl, as with a Tear.
In his High Presence, where the Stars and Sun
Do but eclipse, there's no Ambition.
You dare admit gay Paint upon a Wall,
Why then in Glass that's held Apocryphal?
Our Bodies Temples are, look in the Eye,
The Window, and you needs must Pictures spy;
Moses and Aaron, and the Kings Arms are
Daub'd in the Church, when you the Wardens were,
Yet you ne'er fin'd for Papist: Shall we say
Banbury is turn'd Rome, because we may
See th' Holy Lamb and Christopher? Nay more,
The Altar-stone set at the Tavern Door?
Why can't the Ox then in th'Nativity,
Be imag'd forth, but Papists Bulls are nigh?
Our Pictures to no other end is made,
Than is your Time and's Bill, your Death, and's Spade.
To us they're but Memonto's which present
Christs Birth, except his Word and Sacrament.
If't were a Sin to set up Imag'ry,
To get a Child were flat Idolatry.
The Models of our Buildings would be thus,
Directions to our Houses, Ruins to us:
Hath not each Creature which hath daily Breath,
Something which resembles Heaven or Earth?
Suppose some Ignorant Heathen once did bow
To Images, may not we see them now?
[Page 319] Should we love Darkness, and abhor the Sun,
'Cause Persians gave it Adoration?
And plant no Orchards, because Apples first
Made Adam and his lineal Race acqurst?
Though Wine for Bacc [...]us, Bread for Ceres went,
Yet both are used in the Sacrament;
What then if these were Popish Reliques? Few
Windows are elsewhere old, but these are new,
And so exceed the former, that the Face
Of these come short of th'outside of our Glass:
Colours are here mix'd, so that Rain-bows be
(Compar'd) but Clouds without variety.
Art here is Natures Envy, this is he,
Not Paracelsus, but by Chymistry
Can make a Man from Ashes, if not Dust,
Producing Off-springs of his Mind, not Lust.
See how he makes his Maker, and doth draw
All that is meant i'th'Gospel, or i'th'Law.
Looking upon the Resurrection,
Methoughts I saw the blessed Vision,
Where not his Face is meerly drawn, but Mind,
Which not with Paint, but Oyl of Gladness shin'd:
But when I view'd the next Pane, where we have
The God of Life transported to his Grave,
Light then is dark, all things so dull and dead,
As if that part o'th'Window had been Lead.
Ionas his Whale did so Mens Eyes befool,
That they have begg'd him th'Anatomy School.
That he saw Ships at Oxford one did swear,
Though Isis yet will Barges hardly bear:
Another soon as he the Trees espy'd,
Thought him i'th'Garden on the other side.
See in what State (though on an Ass) Christ went,
This shews more Glorious than the Parliament.
[Page 320] Then in what awe Moses his Rod doth keep
The Seas, as if the Frost had glaz'd the Deep;
The raging Waves are to themselves a Bound,
Some cry, help, help, or Horse and Man are drown'd.
Shadows do every where for Substance pass,
You'd think the Sands were in an Hour-glass.
You that do live with Surgeons, have you seen
A Spring of Blood forc'd from a swelling Vein?
So from a touch of Moses Rod doth jump
A Cataract, The Rock is made a Pump:
At sight of whose O'er-flowings many get
Themselves away for fear of being wet.
Here you behold a sprightly Lady stand,
To have her Frame drawn by a Painters Hand:
Such lively Look and Presence, such a Dress
King Pharoahs Daughters Image doth express;
Look well upon her Gown, and you will swear,
The Needle, not the Pencil hath been there.
At sight of her, some Gallants do dispute,
Whether i'th'Church it's lawful to salute?
Next Iacob kneeling, where his Kid-skin's such,
As it may well cozen old Isaac's Touch.
A Shepherd see'ng how Thorns went round about,
Abrahams Ram, would needs have helpt it out:
Behold the Dove descending to inspire
Th'Apostle's Heads with cloven Tongues of Fire,
And in a Superficies there you'l see
The gross Dimensions of Profundity.
'Tis hard to judge which is best built, and higher
The Arch roof in the Window, or the Quire.
All Beasts, as in the Ark, are lively done,
Nay, you may see the Shadow of the Sun:
Upon a Landskip if you look a while
You'l think the Prospect at least forty Mile.
[Page 321] There's none needs now go travel, we may see
[...]t Home Ierusalem and Nineveh,
[...]nd Sodom now in Flames: One Glance will dart
[...]arther than Lynce with Galilaeus Art.
[...]eeing Elijahs Chariot, we fear
There is some fiery Prodigy in the Air:
When Christ to purge his Temple, holds his Whip,
[...]ow nimbly Hucksters with their Baskets skip.
[...]t. Peters Fishes are so lively wrought,
[...]ome cheapen them, and ask when they were caught.
[...]ere's Motions painted too: Chariots soo fast
[...]un, that they're never gone, though always past.
[...]he Angels with their Lutes are done so true,
We do not only look, but hearken too,
[...]s if their Sounds were painted: Thus the Wit
[...]'th'Pencil hath drawn more than there can sit.
[...]hus (as in Archimedes Sphere) you may
[...] a small Glass, the Universe survey:
[...]ch various Shapes are too i'th'Imag'ry,
[...]s Age and Sex may their own Features see;
[...]t if the Window cannot shew your Face,
[...]ook under Feet, the Marble is your Glass;
[...]hich too, for more then Ornament, is there,
[...]he Stones may learn your Eyes to shed a Tear.
[...]hey never work upon the Conscience;
[...]hey cannot make us kneel, we are not such,
[...]s think there's Balsom in the Kiss, or Touch,
[...]hat were gross Superstition we know;
[...]here's no more Power in them than the Pope's Toe.
[...]he Saints themselves for us can do no good,
[...]uch less their Pictures drawn in Glass or Wood.
[...]hey cannot seal, but since they signifie,
[...]hey may be worthy of a Cast o'th'Eye;
[Page 322] Although no Worship, that is due alone,
Not to the Carpenter's, but God's own Son;
Obedience to Blocks deserves the Rod,
The Lord may well be then a jealous God.
Why should not Statues now be due to Paul,
As to the Caesars of the Capitol?
How many Images of great Heirs, which
Had nothing but the Diu of being rich,
Shine in our Temples? Kneeling always there,
Where, when they were alive, they scarce appear;
Yet shall Christs Sepulchre have ne'er a Tomb?
Shall every Saint have a Iohn Baptists Doom?
No Limb of Mary stand? Must we forget
Christs Cross, as soon as past the Alphabet?
Shall not their Heads have Room i'th' Window, who
Founded our Church and our Religion too?
We know that God's a Spirit, we consess
We cannot comprehend his Name, much less
Can a small Glass his Nature: But since he
Vouchsaf'd to suffer his Humanity;
Why may not we (only to put's in Mind
Of's Godhead) have his Manhood thus enshrin'd?
Is our Kings Person less esteem'd, because
We need him in our Coins as well as Laws?
Do what we can, whether we think, or paint
All Gods Expressions are but weak and faint;
Yet Spots in Globes must not be blotted the no [...],
That cannot shew the World's Magnificence.
Nor is it fit we should the Skill controul,
Because the Artist cannot draw the Soul.
Cease then your Railings and your dull Complaints
To pull down Galleries, and set up Saints
Is no Impiety: now we may well
Say that our Church is truly Visible:
[Page 323] Those that before our Glass Scaffolds prefer
Would turn our Temple to a Theater,
Windows are Pulpits now; though unlearn'd, one
May read this Bibles new Edition.
Instead of here and there a Verse adorn'd
Round with a Lace of Paint, fit to be scorn'd
Even by vulgar Eyes, each Pane presents
Whole Chapters with both Comment and Contents.
The cloudy Mysteries of the Gospel here
Transparent as the Chrystal do appear.
'Tis not to see things darkly through a Glass,
Here you may see our Saviour Face to Face;
And whereas Feasts come seldom, here's descry'd
A constant Christmass, Easter, Whisuntide:
Let the Deaf hither come, no matter though
Faiths Sense be lost, we a new Way can show;
Here we can teach them to believe by th'Eye;
These silenc'd Ministers do edifie:
The Scriptures Rays contracted in a Glass,
Like Emblems do with greater Vertue pass.
Look in the Book of Martyrs, and you'l see
More by the Pictures than the History.
That Price for things in Colours oft we give,
Which we'd not take to have them while they live.
Such is the Power of painting that it makes
A loving Sympathy 'twixt Men and Snakes.
Hence then Paul's Doctrine may seem more Divine,
As Amber though a Glass doth clearer shine:
Words pass away, as soon as Head-ach gone,
We read in Books what here we dwell upon.
Thus, then there's no more Fault in Imag'ry
Than there's in the Practice of Piety;
Both edifie: What is in Letters there,
[...]s writ in plainer Hieroglyphicks here;
[Page 324] "Tis not a new Religion we have chose,
'Tis the same Body, but in better Cloaths:
You'l say they make us gaze when we should pray,
And that our Thoughts do on the Figures stray:
If so, you may conclude us Beasts: What they
Have for their Object, is to us the Way.
Did any e'er use Prospective to see
No farther than the Glass? or can there be
Such lazy Travellers so giv'n to Sin,
As that they'l take their Dwelling at the Inn?
A Christians Sight rests in Divinity,
Signs are but Spectacles to help Faiths Eye.
God is the Center; Dwelling on these Words,
My Muse a Sabbath to my Brain affords;
If their nice Wits more solemn Proof exact,
Know, this was meant a Poem, not a Tract.

The Anti-Platonick.

FOnd Love, what dost thou mean
To court an idle Folly,
Platonick Love is nothing else
But meerly Melancholly;
'Tis active Love that makes us jolly.
2.
To dote upon a Face,
Or court a sparkling Eye,
Or to esteem a dimpled Cheek
Compleat Felicity;
'Tis to betray ones Liberty.
3.
Then pray be not so fond,
Think you that Women can
Rest satisfi'd with Complement,
[Page 325] The frothy Part of Man?
No, no, they hate a Puritan.
4.
They care not for your Sight,
Nor your erected Eyes,
They hate to hear a Man complain,
Alas! He dies, he dies;
Believ't they love a closer Prize.
5.
Then venture to embrace,
'Tis but a Smack or two:
I'm confident no Woman lives,
But sometimes she will do;
The Fault lies not in her, but you.

A sad Suit in a Petitionary Poem, sent by a Poor Scholar to his Patron.

WOnder not why these Lines come to your Hand
The naked Truth you soon shall understand.
I have a Suit to you, that you would be
So kind as send another Suit to me:
The Spring appears, and now Beasts, Birds, and Bees,
The fruitful Fields, gay Gardens, and tall Trees
Are covered, all things that do creep or fly,
Are putting their Apparel on, but I.
Time hath impair'd my Breeches, they shew, Sir,
Like the Scotch Flags that hang in Westminster.
Round about London the Hedges and the Ditches,
As they catch Wool, wear Fragments of my Britches.
My Patches dangle on my tattered Trouses,
Like Hens and Chickens which hang up in Houses;
[Page 326] And having crackt out the contracting Stitches,
They look rather like Petticoats than Britches;
So that my Doublet pin'd, makes me appear
Not like a Man but a Loose-wastcoateer.
The Women call'd me Woman, till the Fools
Spy'd their Mistake thorough my Pocket Holes.
My Waste-band's wasted, and my Doublet looks
Like him that wears it, quite off o'the Hooks.
My Eyes are out, and all my Button-moulds
Drop like ripe Hazel-nuts out of their Hulls.
The Suburbs of my Jacket are so gone,
I have not left a Skirt to sit upon.
My Doublet Canvas be'n worn out behind,
I put a Poem there to keep out Wind.
Two sly Knaves follow'd me, and one or both,
Like Boys in Horn-books, read it through the Cloth.
My Belly-pieces are so fat, they will
If toasted, serve for Belly-pieces still.
Last Shrove-tide my Fore-skirt, as I'm a Sinner,
Fell in the Batter, and was fry'd for Dinner.
And when the Wench saw how my Jaws did knock it it,
She would have made a Pancake of my Pocket.
That which I call a Shirt, looks like a Clout
Which some unhappy Gibbet had worn out.
Sir, as I am a live Man, and a Scholar,
This very Spring will purge away my Choler.
My Weeds so plough'd and harrow'd, that I know,
Unless I can get new, 'tis time to [...]ow.
About my Neck, as you may understand,
By the Dimidium's a right falling Band.
I wear a pair of Cuffs withal, and they
Look like those torn which Men snatch in a Fray.
I had a Cirdle too when I was drest,
Which was long since, but now (ungi [...] unbles [...])
[Page 327] Instead of wearing powd'red Hair, my Chief
Invention is to get me powd'red Beef.
My Hat's so full of Holes, I can't devise
A Way how I should pluck it o'er my Eyes:
My Shoes and I in one Condition roul,
And both appear as if we had no Soul:
My Stocking-calves, the best of all my Stock,
Are paradiz'd as naked as my Nock.
I'm like a Clock my self, which if fair Weather
Should separate, no Art can put together:
My Books are ran away from off my Shelf,
I cannot quote my Author, nor my self;
For like Sir Wills Heroick Verse they be,
Heaven knows, all in the Land of Lombardy.
That Land of Ignorance, and full of Ills,
Where Scholars Teeth are their own Paper-mills.
Sir, I am piec'd like Cottages with Thatch,
The old and new do sum up one grand Patch:
Then pray Sir, quickly send me some Redress,
Lest my Suit falls, as a Cloud vanishes:
For it is now by most Mens Approbation,
The next Degree unto Annihilation:
Sir, to be brief, 'tis a confused Rude
Rag, that admits of no Similitude;
There's no Imagination that can strike it,
'Tis so like nothing, that there's nothing like it.

The poor Cavalier, in Memory of his old Suit.

THough thou hast lasted 'bove a thousand Days,
Till thou art ag'd and grey through adverse ways;
Yet Malice in its Highest, dare pronounce,
No other, but that thou wert Scarlet once.
[Page 328] As in fair Beauties innocently dead,
Their very Paleness hath a Tinct of Red,
Under thy gray, discernably thin Streams
Lies, like to shipwrack Strawberries in Cream.
I know 'tis vain to boast what thou hast been,
Yet thou wert red, when bloody Votes were green.
E'er ripe Rebellion had a full-age Power,
To commit Laud, and Gourney to the Tower:
E're middle-sighted Judgment understood,
That 'twas 'gainst Sense o'th'Houses to be good.
It is no humble Honour of thy Fate,
To follow in thy Sufferings, those of State:
I have observ'd since Lesley's coming in,
Thou hast been still declining with the King,
Spite Fairfax, and the Scots did all agree,
To take our Sleep from us, thy Nap from thee.
But to declare thee in the State concern'd,
When Pomfret was relieved, then thou wert turn'd.
Prove thou didst wear new Buttons on thy Breast,
When baffle'd Waller did retreat from th'West:
When taken Leicester rais'd our Thoughts & Speech,
Then wert thou reinforced in the Breech.
Thanks to my Tops and Care, which though it meet,
To rob my Legs to keep thee on thy Feet.
Nay, may I want Belief, if when the Report
Of lost Bridgewater first arriv'd at Court,
Each Whisper did not rend thee: I could tell
Still by new Holes, how our Disasters fell.
At Langport when the West was well ago,
(A sad Mischance) thy Rear miscarry'd too,
And by a strong Intelligence the same time,
Thy Hooks and Buttons sprung with Sherburns Mine.
Now Peace be with thy Dust, whilst I do mourn,
And Loyally Industrious close thy Urn;
[Page 329] For the next motion to a Calm in th'Air,
Will thy poor Extants into peices tear:
And as the Wind when th'winged Nation pays
Their feather'd Tribute, send it several Ways;
One Fragment would into Bridge-water fall,
In Sherburn one, in several Garrisons all,
And th'Insolent Rebels at that Sight be won,
To think our Thread of Life like thine be done.
No quondam Suit, I'l keep thee from their Claws,
Rotten as th'art, thou shalt be sound for th'Cause.
Rather than to our Prejudice be disperst,
Thou shalt make Iack-of-lents and Babies first:
Bait Fishes Hooks to couzen Mackrels Lips,
Because they keep the Seas with Rebels Ships:
Make good a Field of Pease against Jack daw,
Reduce revolting Turkies into Awe;
And every part of thee shall be employ'd
To serve against Rebellion and Pride.
And as the pious Ancients use to rear
Tombs to the Bodies, which they know not where
To find, to thee pure Shade of Shades (for in
This mortal life no Ghost could be more thin)
This Monumental Paper I do vow,
And thank God I've another Habit now.

To the Queen.

Great Queen,
VVHom Tumults lessen not, whose Womb, we see,
Keeps the same Method still, the same Decree;
And midst the brandisht Swords, and Trumpets voice
Brings forth a Prince, a Conquest to that Noise.
[Page 330] We greet the Courage of your Births; and spy
Your Consorts Spirit dancing in your Eye.
Valour he shrouds in Armour, you in Vail;
You wrapt in Tiffany, and he in Mail.
The fairest Bloom might since the Seasons low'r,
Lose all its Scent and turn a common Flow'r:
A Storm might blast the Beauty of that Brow,
And the fresh Rose shrink from its Glory now:
But there the constant Flower in Tempests gay,
As in the silent Whispers of the Day,
Can thrive in Blasts, and alike fruitful be,
When Charles in Steel, or Charles in Robes you see.
You smile a Mother, when the just King stands,
Or with a Show'r, or Thunder in his Hands.
Thus you alone, seated above all Jars,
Turn Noise to Tunes, and Lightning into Stars.

An Elegy on Ben. Johnson.

POet of Princes, Prince of Poets (we,
If to Apollo, well may pray to thee.)
Give Glow-worms leave to peep, who till thy Night
Could not be seen, we darken'd were with Light;
For Stars t'appear after the Fall o'th'Sun,
Is at the least modest Presumption.
I've seen a great Lamp lighted by the small
Spark of a Flint found in a Field, or Wall;
Our inner Verse faintly may shadow forth
A dull Reflection of thy Glorious Worth,
And like a Statue homely fashion'd, raise
Some Trophies to thy Mem'ry, though not Praise.
Those shallow Sirs, who want sharp sight to look
On the Majestick-Splendor of thy Book,
[Page 331] That rather chuse to hear an Archy prate,
Then the full Sense of a learn'd Laureate;
May, when they see thy Name thus plainly writ,
Admire the Solemn Measure of thy Wit;
And like thy Works beyond a gaudy Show
Of Boards and Canvase, wrought by Inigo.
Ploughmen, who puzzled are with Figures, come
By Tallies to the Reckoning of a Sum,
And Milk-sop Heirs, which from their Mothers Lap
Scarce travell'd, know far Countrys by a Map.
Shakespear may make Griefs, merry Beaumonts Stile
Ravish and melt Anger into a Smile;
In Winter Nights, or after Meals, they be,
I must confess very good Company;
But thou exact'st our best Hours Industry,
We may read them, we ought to study thee;
Thy Scene's are Precepts, every Verse doth give
Counsel, and teach us, not to laugh, but live
You that with tow'ring Thoughts presume so high
(Swell'd with a vain Ambitious Tympany)
To dream on Scepters, whose brave Mischief calls
The Blood of Kings to their last Funerals.
Learn from Sejanus his high Fall, to prove
To thy dread Sovereign a sacred Love;
Let him suggest a Reverend Fear to thee,
And may his Tragedy thy Lecture be.
Learn the compendious Age of slippery Power,
That's built on Blood, and may one little Hour
Teach thy bold Rashness, that it is not safe,
To build a Kingdom on a Caesar's Grave.
Thy Plays were whipt and libell'd, only cause
They'r good, and savour of our Kingdoms Laws.
Histrio-masticks (Lightning-like) doth wound
Those things alone that solid are and sound.
[Page 332] Thus guilty Men hate Justice, so a Glass
Is sometimes broke for shewing a foul Face.
There's none that wish thee Rods, instead of Bays,
But such whose very Hate adds to thy Praise.
Let Scriblers (that write Post and versifie
With no more Leasure than we cast a Dye)
Spur on their Pegasus and proudly cry,
This Verse I made i'th'twinkling of an Eye;
Thou could'st have done so, hadst thou thought it fit,
But 'twas the Wisdom of thy Muse to sit
And weigh each Syllable, suffering nought to pass,
But what could be no better than it was.
Those that keep pompous State, ne'er go in haste;
Thou went'st before them all, though not so fast;
While their poor Cob-web-stuff finds as quick Fate,
As Birth, and sells like Alm'nacks out of Date.
The marbled Glory of thy labour'd Rhyme
Shall live beyond the Calender of time,
Who will their Meteors 'bove the Sun advance;
Thine are the Works of Judgment, theirs of Chance.
How this whole Kingdom's in thy Debt, we have
From others Perriwigs and Paint, to save
Our ruin'd Sculls, and Faces; but to thee
We owe our Tongues, and Fancies Remedy.
Thy Poems make us Poets, we may lack
(Reading thy Book) stol'n Sentences and Sack.
He that can but one Speech of thine reherse,
Whether he will or no, must make a Verse.
Thus Trees give Fruit, the Kernels of that Fruit
Do bring forth Trees, which in more Branches shoot.
Our Canting English of it self alone,
I had almost said a Confusion,
Is now all Harmony; what we did say
Before was tuning only, this is Play.
[Page 333] Strangers who cannot reach thy Sense, will throng
To hear us speak the Accents of thy Tongue,
As unto Birds that sing: If't be so good
When heard alone, what is't when understood!
Thou shalt be read as Classick Authors; and
As Greek and Latine taught in every Land.
The cringing Monsieur shall thy Language vent,
When he would melt his Wench with Complement.
Using thy Phrases, he may have his Wish,
Of a coy Nun, without an angry Pish.
And yet in all thy Poems there is shown
Such Chastity, that every Line's a Zone.
Rome will confess that thou mak'st Caesar talk
In greater State and Pomp than he could walk.
Cataline's Tongue is the true Edge of Swords,
We now not only feel, but hear thy Words;
Who Tully in thy Idiom understands,
Will swear that his Orations are Commands:
But that which could with richer Language dress
The highest Sense, cannot thy Words express.
Had I thy own Invention which affords
Words above Action, Matter above Words,
To crown thy Merits, I should only be
Sumptuously poor, low in Hyperbole.

Another on Ben. Johnson.

WHo first reform'd our Stage with justest Laws,
And was the first best Judge in his own Cause,
Who (when his Actors trembled for Applause)
Could (with a Noble Confidence) prefer
His own, by Right, to a noble Theater;
From Principles, which he knew could not err.
[Page 334] Who to his Fable did his Person fit,
With all the Properties of Art and Wit,
And above all that could be acted, writ.
Who Publick Follies did to Covert drive,
Which he again could cunningly retrive,
Leaving them no Ground to rest on and thrive.
Here Iohnson lies, whom had I nam'd before,
In that one Word alone I had paid more,
Than can be now, when Plenty makes me poor.

To his Mistress.

COme (dearest Iulia) thou and I
Will knit us in so strict a Tye,
As shall with greater Power ingage,
Than feeble Charms of Marriage;
We will be Friends, our Thoughts shall go,
Without Impeachment, to and fro;
The same desires shall elevate
Our mingled Souls, the self-same Hate
Shall cause Aversion, we will hear
One sympathizing Hope and Fear;
And for to move more close, we [...]rame
Our Triumphs and our Tears the same:
Yet will we ne'er so grosly dare,
As our Ignobler selves to share;
Let Men desire like those above,
Spiritual Forms wee'l only love;
And teach the ruder World to shame;
When Heat increaseth to a Flame:
Love's like a Landskip, which doth stand,
Smooth at a distance, rough at Hand.

A Sight of the Ruins of St. Pauls.

HOmers vast Iliads found so small a Cell,
They reclus'd were to th'Cloyster of a Shell;
There Fate attends, there Ruin, Pauls must be
Unto it self both Urn and Elegy.
But must the Marble from thy Carcase rent,
Thy Glory once, now turn thy Monument?
Can there no Sheet, nor Sear-cloth be allow'd,
But thy own Lead to be thy Funeral-shroud?
Since by their publick Vote this was thy Doom,
Thou and Religion are to have one Tomb,
And wrapt up in a heap of Ruins, lie
Intomb'd i'th'Center of an Anarchy.
Must thou thy self, thy crumbled self interr
And to thy self, be thy own Sepulchre?
Nay, must thy Ruins too, in stead of Verse,
Hang like dull Pendants on thy scatter'd Herse?
Sure when the Eastern Monarchs shook away
The narrow Circumscription of their Clay,
'Twas thought contracted Mankind did expire,
And mix its Ashes with their Funeral Fire.
Such Hecatombs of dying Tribes became
Unto their Urns both Hecatomb and Flame;
So now, the unhallow'd Breath of Storms, have thrown
This Pile into a rude Confusion;
And from its Aged Head fierce Zeal hath torn
That Reverend Pomp which there so long was worn;
That now its Face appears like whither'd Care,
Or wilder than the Looks of Fevers are.
All other Churches, which like lesser Rays,
Darted their Light, from this Sun's Nobler Blaze,
[Page 336] Did into Order, and fair Figure fall,
As Transcripts drawn from this Original;
Lest this sad Heap its Funeral-rite should lack,
Each wears its Ruins like to solemn Black:
But if this will not serve, the Dust of those
Which slumber in their Silence and Repose
Of their cold Urns, will like an Earthquake swell,
And break the gloomy Cloyster of each Cell,
That treasures up their drowsie Clay, and make
All the Convulsed Limbs of London shake,
So long until it drop one Heap, and be
At once its Mourner, Tomb, and Obsequy.

A Relation of a Quaker, that to the shame of his Profession, attempted to bugger a Mare near Colchester.

ALl in the Land of Essex
Near Colchester the Zealous,
On the side of a Bank,
Was play'd such a Prank,
As would make a Stone-horse jealous.
Help Woodcock, Fox, and Nailor
For Brother Green's a Stallion,
Now alas what Hope,
Of converting the Pope,
When a Quaker turns Italian.
Unto our whole Profession,
A scandal 'twil be counted,
When 'tis talkt with Disdain
Amongst the profane,
How Brother Green was mounted.
[Page 337] And in the Good time of Christmas,
Which though the Saints have damn'd all,
Yet when did they hear
Of a damn'd Cavalier,
Ere plaid such a Christmas Gambal.
Had thy Flesh, O Green, been pamper'd
With any Creature unhallow'd;
Hadst thou sweetned thy Gumbs
With Pottage of Plumbs,
Or profane minc'd Pye hadst swallow'd:
Roll'd up in wanton Swines Flesh,
The Fiend might have crept into thee,
Then Fulness of Gut
Might have made thee Rut,
And the Devil so have rid through thee.
But alas! he had been feasted
With a Spiritual Collation
By our frugal Mayor,
Who can dine with a Prayer
And sup with an Exhortation.
'Twas meer Impulse of Spirit,
Though he us'd the Weapon carnal,
Filly foal, quoth he,
My Bride, thou shalt be:
Now how this is Lawful, learn all.
For if no Respect of Persons
Be due 'mongst the Sons of Adam,
In a large Extent,
Then it may be meant
That a Mare's as good as a Madam.
Then without more Ceremony
Nor Bonnet vail'd, nor kist her,
He took her by Force
For better for worse,
And he us'd her like a Sister.
[Page 338] Now when in such a Saddle
A Saint will needs be riding,
Though I dare not say
'Tis a falling away,
May there not be some Back- [...]iding?
No surely, quoth Iames Nailor,
'Twas but an Insurrection
Of the Carnal Part,
For a Quaker in Heart
Can never lose Perfection.
For so our Matters teach us,
The Intent being well directed,
Though the Devil trapan
The Adamical Man,
The Saints stand uninfected;
But yet a Pagan Jury
Still judges what's intended,
Then say what we can,
Brother Greens outward Man
I fear will be suspended.
And our Adopted Sister
Will find no better Quarter,
But when him we enroul
For a Saint, Filly Foal
Shall pass at least for a Martyr.
Now Rome that spiritual Sodom,
No longer is thy Debtor,
O Colchester now
Who's Sodom, but thou,
Even according to the Letter?
Help Woodoock Fox, and Nailor
For Brother Green's a Stallion
Now alas what Hope
Of converting the Pope,
When a Quaker turns Italian

Upon a Talkative Woman.

PEace Beldam Ugly, thoul't not find
M'Ears Bottles for enchanted Wind;
That Breath of thine can only raise
New Storms, and discompose the Seas.
It may (assisted by thy Clatter)
A Pigmaean Army scatter;
Or move, without the smallest Strain,
Loretto's Chappel once again,
And blow St. Goodrick while he prays,
And knows not what it is he says.
And help false Latin with a Hem,
From Finkley to Ierusalem;
Or in th'Pacifick Sea supply
The Wind that Nature doth deny.
What, dost thou think I can retain
All this, and spout it out again?
As a surcharged Whale doth spew
Old Rivers to receive in new:
Thou art deceiv'd, even Aeol's Cave,
That can all other Blasts receive,
Would be too small to let in thine:
How then these narrow Ears of mine?
Defect of Organs may with me pass,
By Chance to pillorize an Ass;
Yet should I shake his Ears, they'd be
Not long enough to heark to thee.
Yet if thou hast a Mind to hear,
How high thy Voices Merits are;
Go serve the States, thoul't useful come,
And have the Pay of every Drum;
[Page 340] Or trudge to Utretcht, there out-run
Dame Scuermans Score of Tongues with one.
But pray be still, for I do swear,
No Torment's like that of the Ear.
O let me when I chance to dye
In Vulcan's Anvil buried lie,
Rather than hear thy Tongue once knell,
That Tom a Lincoln and Bow-bell.

The Second part of the Scots Apostacy.

GO helpless Virgins, teach some calmer Breast
To sing a Poean at a Marriage-feast;
Inspire some pewling Lover, or with some
Sad Friend weep forth an Epicedium.
To these you may be welcom, but God wot,
You have not Gaul enough to name a Scot.
I must invoke the Furies to awake
My Rage, and impeach Letter with a Snake;
Help, help good Enyo, thou who dost delight
In Blood and Slaughter, fill my Veins with spight,
Prompt thou my dull Invention, and disperse
Some potent Venom through my Basilick-verse;
That so my Breath may blast them, and each Word
Do Execution like the Halls-man's Sword.
Were my Tongue forkt, and dipped like my Mind,
In Poison, though I left the Sting behind,
Scots, you should feel it, you my Scorpion Rhimes
Should reach, though Justice cannot reach your Crimes.
How my Flesh trembles! O you cursed Brood
Of Cain and Iudas-fatted with the Blood
[Page 341] Of Innocents, how long will Heaven permit
Your devilish Art, or you to practise it?
Sleeps the Eternal Justice, or forbears
Only for want of Executioners?
'Tis so you have escap'd, because no Curse
Can be so great, but you deserve a worse.
Your Sins have sav'd you, pray you take them home
'Tis more than Innocence could do by some;
Yet you have got a strange Prerogative,
That which condemns you, makes you now alive;
And though belike the Hang-man he can draw
No Blood, but what is forfeited by Law;
Yet 'tis no humble Honour that you deign
Observant of these Partians Discipline.
Who dare affirm that Scots did never yet,
Before their Thievery, did earn their Meat:
Thus hopefully brought up, at length you got
A Way how to out-go the Powder-plot;
For had that Practice undiscover'd stood,
Some bad had likewise perisht with the good:
But you, right [...]mps of Satan, only bent
Your Malice to betray the Innocent,
Making the Jews your Pattern, letting pass
Sentence on Christ, and sparing Barabbas.
Nor could the meaner Rank of Men suffice
Your Treachery, thence Profit none could rise;
For what you had you'd seem to have forgot
The devilish Maxims of Iscariot,
The Grand Professor of your Doctrine, you,
As he sold his, have sold your Master too.
May be you thought like Iosephs Brethren, thus
By selling him to make him Glorious:
Hell take your Craft, 'twas Iudas taught you this,
How to betray your Master with a Kiss;
[Page 342] This is a Sin could not be pattern'd by
The worst Examples of fell Tyranny.
When as incensed Cataline, whose [...]ath
Breathed it, prescrib'd the City nought but Death:
When in his proud Conceit Rome seem'd to burn,
And did all really drop into his [...].
The ravisht Virgins [...]am, beastly Desire
Was quencht with Blood, to quench that Goddess Fire;
Yet her Impious Thoughts did not prevail
So far, to set the Senators to Sale
I must commend your plain Fore-fathers way,
Who weary of their Prince did only [...]ay
His Person, and then streight did [...] a new,
They never murthered the Title too;
Yet were they counted Traitors in those times,
But oh! What Disproportions in your Crimes,
Their Hate was finite dying in his Fall,
They kill'd; yours I [...]te; and strikes at all
Not only endangering your Princes Health,
But even murthering Majesty it self.
They oft gave Money to be rid of one,
But you take Money, that you might have none;
And yet Religion must become the Veil
To cover your Eno [...]es withal.
When Truth can witness that you never knew,
More of Religion than the Name comes to.
Oh monstrous times! more [...], who force
Heavens fairest Child to be Sins Stalking-horse!
Could not the sacred Name of King re [...]am
You Avarice from such Impious Gain.
No, were the Name of so much Worth to you,
The Name had been made Mercenary too;
For to such bold Attempters, as dare [...]ame
A sensless Idol of the saving Name
[Page 343] Of Iesus: 'Twere an easie thing
To make a Tyrant of the Name of King;
And so with the same Colour Brute once sent
The very Title into Banishment.
You Bruits may do the like, and make a Room
At least of this, though nothing else at Home.
A cruel, faithless Nation, never true,
But to your selves; I should think Cowards too,
But that I see you dare in fresh Deeds sport
After this C [...]me, and fear no Vengeance for't.

The Definition of a Protector.

VVHat's a Protector? He's a stately Thing,
That Apes it in the Non-age of a King.
A Tragick Actor, Caesar in a Clown,
He's a brass Farthing stamped with a Crown.
A Bladder blown, with other Breaths pu [...]t full,
Not the Perillus, but Perillus Bull.
Aesops proud Ass veil'd in the Lyons Skin,
An outward Saint lin'd with a Devil within.
An Eccho whence the Royal Sound doth come,
But just as a Barrel-head, sounds like a Drum.
Fantastick Image of the Royal Head,
The Brewers, with the Kings Arms, quartered:
He is a counterfeited Piece, that shows
Charles his Effigies with a Copper Nose.
In fine, he's one we must Protector call,
From whom the King of Kings protect us all.

PROTECTOR. Anagram. O Portet C. R.

Upon the new Invention of flying with Chymi­cal Magick, with a Description of his Castle of Comfort.

TEll us no more of Icarus,
Of Hypogryph, or Pegasus
Or of Menippus Journeyings
With Eagles, and with Vultures Wings;
Nor of the Ganza's, which did soon
Transport Don Diego to the Moon.
These are Inventions old and stale,
The dull Effects of muddy Ale;
For we have got a newer Trick, Sir,
Which far out does the fam'd Elixir.
Give us a Man in Bulk as vast,
As th'Tun at Heidelburg i'th'waste,
Or greater if it well may be
Than Garagantu's two or three,
We'l so calcine him, that he shall
Even become Aerial▪
Give us an Hostess fat and dull,
With Guts at least a Dung ca [...]t full,
Whose Corps appears in outward Show,
Just like a Lump of leaven'd Dough,
We can by Spirits and by Art
Evaporate her carnal Part.
And make her mount the Welkin blew,
A Way that never any knew.
About the middle of Long-Aker,
(If I be not a great Mistaker)
A noble high built Castle stands,
Which far and near the Coast commands:
[Page 345] A Lion Couchant guards the Door,
Which though he gapes, yet doth not roar,
And though his Teeth may chance to fright you,
Yet you may enter, he'l not bite you.
Here, here springs that Celestial Fount,
Which makes both Souls and Bodies mount.
The great Commander of this Fort,
Tells you in Earnest, not in Sport.
That heretofore his total Weight
Was full three Hundred, sans deceit;
But since he in this Place did fix,
'Tis but two Hundred thirty six,
Quickly he could put off this Load;
But finding yet that his Abode
Unto the World is necessary,
He is content a while to tarry.
But when dull Mortals shall begin,
By their Ingratitude and Sin
To fright him hence, then in a trice
He'l fly away by this Device.
Have you not seen i'th'Month of May,
An Egg by Force of Phoebus Ray
Drawn from the Earth, fill'd with a few
Collected drops of Morning-dew?
Can Dew do this and shall not we
Believe more Volatility
To be in Spirit sublimate?
Yes that we will, in spight of Fate.
Besides, the Stones which Mongi [...]el
Disgorges from the Mouth of Hell,
Are so calcin'd, that at their Fall,
They'l not in Water sink at all.
Can Aetna's Flames do thus to Stones?
And do we think that Flesh and Bones
[Page 346] May not by a more subtil Fire,
Be raised to Perfection higher?
If Bodies all composed be
Of Sulphur, Salt, and Mercury,
Easie it is by Chymick Skill
To make the fix'd Salt volatil;
Which being done, for Company
The other will together fly.
This is the Way, and only this,
Whoever hits it, cannot miss.
Come then Ingenious Souls, that may
By this Discovery find a Way
To seek new Worlds about the Sphears,
And pull Endymion by the Ears.
Let France and Spain enjoy their Wine,
We have a Liquor more Divine,
Which by the [...] Approbation
Is call'd A Cup of Consolation.
This, this will make you mount the Skies,
Like nimble-winged Mercuries,
For who the Operation feels
Of this, hath Wings in's Head and Heels.

The Coachman of St. James's.

THe whip again? Away, 'tis too absurd,
That thou shouldst lash with Whip-cord now, but Sword.
I'm pleas'd to fantly how the glad Compact
Of Hackney-Coachmen s [...]ear at the l [...]st Act.
Hark how the scoffing Concourse hence derives
The Proverb, needs most go when th'Devil drives.
[Page 347] Yonder a Whipster crys, 'tis a plain Case,
He turn'd us out, to put himself i'th'place;
But God-a-mercy Horses once, for ye
Stood to't, and turn'd him out, as well as we.
Another, not behind them with his Mocks,
Crys out, Sir, faith you were in the wrong Box,
He did presume to rule, because forsooth
Ha's been a Horse Commander from his Youth;
But he must know there's Difference in the Reins
Of Horses fed with Oats, and sed with Grains.
I wonder at his Frollick, for be sure
Four pamper'd Coach-horses can sling a Brewer;
But Pride will have a Fall, such the Worlds course is,
He that can rule three Realms, can't guide four Horses.
See him that trampled thousands in their Gore,
Dismounted by a Party, but of four.
But we have done with't, and we may him call,
In's driving Iehu, Phaeton in's fall:
I would to God for these three Kingdoms sake,
His Neck, and not the Whip had given the Crack.

On Black Eyes.

IN Faith, 'tis true, I am in Love,
'Tis your black Eyes have made me so,
My Resolutions they remove,
And former Niceness overthrow.
2.
Those glowing Char-coals set on Fire
A Heart, that former Flames did shun,
Who as Heretick unto Desire
Now's judg'd to suffer Matryrdom.
3.
But Beauty, since it is thy Fate,
At distance thus to wound so sure,
Thy Vertues I will imitate,
And see if Distance prove a Cure.
4.
Then farewel Mistress, farewel Love,
Those lately entertain'd Desires,
Wise Men can from that Plague remove;
Farewel black Eyes, and farewel Fires.
5.
If ever I my Heart acquit
Of those dull Flames, I'l bid a Pox
On all black Eyes, and swear they'r fit
For nothing but a Tinder-box.

In Nuptias Principis Auranchii & D. Mar [...]e filiae Regis Angliae.

FAma Refert nostris terras haesisse batâunas,
Atque unum quondam gentibus esse solum;
Oceanumque, duas qui nunc interluit Oras,
Fluctibus haud semper disseouisse suis.
Migrat in historiam fuer at quae fabula, taedis,
Oceanusque tuo jam tandem pulsus amore est;
Et cedunt flammis, pontus & unda tuis;
Dùm populus populi procus est, passusque sagittas
Nubentis simili principis igne calet,
Et tua dum nostras sociant sponsalia dextras;
Connubii tandem faeder a nomen habent.
Non sponsam, Fateor, paribus natalibus aequas,
Nec similes thalamos fers similesve choras;
Nec te tam magnis jactaso Regibus ortum,
Nec stirpem decorant Regnater-ampla tuam:
Haud tamen accedis minor; est pro sanguine virtus,
Quodque illi Foelix, dat tibi forte genus.
Par Sceptris Patris Gladius, tibi stemmate bellis
[Page 349] Auxit, & antiquis Regibus aequa dedit.
Par tua Regali victrix domus, hinc quoque nobis
Majorum factis Imperialis aedes.
Et licet in dotem sponsae non porrigis Indos,
Sed plures conjux ferret Iberus opes;
Sallus & in thalamos Rueret magis aureus, & te
Ex arcâ vincat Natio multa suâ:
Tu tamen in dotem patris clara armae ministrans
Ferrato in Gremium ditior Imbre ruis;
Amplior & sors est Indis, ad ferre triumphos,
Et par possesso victus Iberus adest.
Cujus ad ereptum, plus est quòd nasceris, Aurum,
Quàm natum; Gemina est India capta, tua.
Fersque polococtum, dives sub utroque metallum;
Et cadit in fiscum sol, oriturque, tuum;
Dùm toties tibi vectat opes Hispania victas;
Cedit & in sensus annua praeda tuos.
Nasceris, & puerum gens spoliate timet,
Aetatique metus nutrit, versatque coaevos;
Atque annis fingit damna futura tuis.
Anticipatque tuos, Infantia laeta, triumphos,
Dum tenero fortis Spira [...] in ore Pater.
Qui sua bella, tuo cernet, sed mollia, vultu;
Misceturque tuis Marte cupido genis.
Hic gemina oppositis vibrantur vulnera telis,
Currit ad haec conjux, hostis & illa fugit.

Upon the Marriage of the young Prince of O­range with the Lady Mary.

VVE are no longer Island, speedily
Cement these Hands, Priest; these our Isth­mus be,
Nor does the Sea divide us, but's become
Our Wedding Ring, Type of our Union.
[Page 350] Yet Wedding's a [...] private Stile, for this
Not a plain [...] Match, but a [...]ague is;
A League that shall incorporate these two
Nations, and that third which shall spring from you▪
Make haste then, and prevent your Years, we all
Long till we may the Belgian, Cousin call.
While thus you couple young, you seem to be
Espous'd; not by Consent, but Sympathy.
And like the Vine and Elm secure from Strife
Embrace as horn, not as made Man and Wife.
And you may like the Vine too multiply,
That he, who shall summ up your Progeny,
May be perswaded that you did bring forth
Not Twins, but Clusters; while their Native Worth
Antedates, breeding, and your Issues are
Each Babe a sucking Hero, Infant Star.
But why do I these needless Fancies vent?
Your Marriage is an Act of Parliament.
The State's your Priest, your People too, whose▪
You voted thus, thus sign'd, think you to be
Not wedded but enacted, and do since
Acknowledge you are now both Law and Prince.

Another upon the same.

'TIs vain to wish them Joys; nor is it meet
Verses should pray, changing to knees their feet,
This were thy Cry, God help you, to a Saint,
Can Fulness fail, or Glorious Bodies faint?
Votes are for meaner Wed-locks; where there is
Some Doubt or Hazard of a lasting Bliss;
But now such Labour's equally unwise,
As is the Priest's that prays for Deities;
[Page 351] Blessings are proper to this Union,
As heat to Fire, or Light is to the Sun;
Nor is't a Wonder, for the Prince did woo
Not Birth, Age, Beauty, but Religion too:
Here Faith and Reason courts, this Match doth prove
Wisdom in Youth, and Policy in Love.
Some Bridegrooms (like the Days) all Nations try
And cheapen every Toy before they buy.
When one is only Worthy, and worth all
Those that were Rivals for the golden Ball,
He could not look on more, without Offence;
A Thirst of Choice had thwarted Providence.
The Theban Hearth could not divide these Flames,
Which burnt through all the Seas, 'twixt Rbine and Thames.
Nor were their Hearts link'd by the Painters Hand,
Or Legates Voice, such Bonds are Ropes of Sand;
They their own Counsel, happier Steps have trod,
Who not salute the Image, but the God.
Should he have had a Speaker, who (tho young)
Carries an ord'red Babel in his Tongue?
Or should her Beauty in faint Colours lie,
When there's no Tablet worthy but his Eye?
This Sun and Moon may safely joyn their Lips,
Who by their Nearness banish all Eclipse.
Their Flames and Flow'rs (stoln Kisses like) do make
Equal Amends, and at once give and take.
Here are such emulous Beauties, that some do
Think them united in one Body too.
So that our Eyes see double, as a Face;
Though single in the Flesh, is two i'th'Glass,
And 't must be so, unless that's now confest,
Which once was Soloecism, that both are best.
[Page 352] And each is all; which large Perfections are
Beyond our Hopes and Faiths as well as Prayer:
Thus then, here's nothing wanting, yet we may,
Although not for them, to them humbly pray.
Grant then Illustrious Prince (for we do vow
To know no Nuptial Deity but you)
Grant us our Boon, although your abler parts
Make this a truer Marriage of the Arts;
Yet throw your Euclid by, and only look
To th'Propositions of your living Book,
And you'l conclude Truth doth more clearly lie
There, than i'th'Maxims of Philosophy.
Measure o'er all her Limbs, and you will see
No such Proportions in Geometry;
Instead of Heavens rude Globes, survey her Eyes,
There lurks no Snake, or Scorpion in those Skies.
You'l there find richer Sphears, and blushing tell
How in those Points Angels, like you, do dwell.
Since she to day made you a Number, try
Part of one Art alone to multiply;
Think of no Tacticks, but of those which are
Read in the martial'd Orders of her Hair.
Though you with Victory have Armies led,
'Twas not so great a Triumph as to wed,
Such Fetters will encrease your Liberty;
Count not these Bonds amongst your Armory.
Thus Prisons prove strong Forts, and Foes are slain
The second time, now by a Captive Chain.
And you (most gracious Lady, who alone
Are all the Goddesses we call upon)
Wear not too many Pearls, unless it be
Upon a day of sad Humility.
When you keep Masks, or celebrate a Feast,
If you'd be Rich or Glorious, come undrest.
[Page 353] Gems do but hide Sparks of a brighter hew;
Those that are Stars to some, are Clouds to you;
Think of no Jewel, but the Union
That which the Priest, not Ladies did put on,
And then you'l find true Lustre; Eyes are dim,
And weary with the Light, but not of him;
When you have made his Arms your Seat, be't known,
Tis to debase your self, to sit i th'Throne.

An Epitaph on Ben. Johnson.

THe Muses fairest Light in no dark time,
The Wonder of a Learned Age; the Line
Which none can pass, the most proportion'd Wit
To Nature, the best Judge of what was fit:
The deepest, plainest, highest, clearest Pen;
The Voice most eccho'd by consenting Men;
The Soul which answer'd best to all, well said
By others, and which most requital made:
[...]un'd to the highest Key of ancient Rome,
[...]eturning all her Musick with his own:
[...] whom with Nature, Study claim'd a Part,
Yet who unto himself ow'd all this Art:
Here lies Ben. Iohnson, every Age will look
With Sorrow here, with Wonder on his Book.

On one that was deprived of his Testicles.

THou Neuter Gender! Whom a Gown
Can make a Woman, Breeches none:
Created one thing, made another,
Not a Sister, scarce a Brother:
[Page 354] Jack of both sides, that may bear,
Or a Distaff, or a Spear,
If thy Fortune thither call,
Be the Grand Seignors General;
Or if thou fancy not that Trade,
Turn th'Sultana's Chamber-maid;
A Medal where grim Mars turn right,
Proves a smiling Aphtodite;
How doth Nature quibble, either
He, or she, Boy, Girl, or neither.
Thou may'st serve great Iove, instead
Of Hebe both and Ganymed:
A Face both stern and mild, Cheeks bare,
That still do only promise Hair.
Old Cybele the first in all
This humane predicamental Scale,
Why should she chuse her Priests to be
Such Individuums as ye?
Such Insecta's, added on
To Creatures by Substraction;
In whom Nature claims no part,
Ye only being Words of Art.

To his Mistress.

WHat Mystery is this? That I should find
My Blood, in kissing you, to stay behind
'Twas not for want of Colour, that requir'd
My Blood for Paint: no Dye could be desir'd
On that fair Cheek, where Scarlet were a Spot,
And where the Juice of Lillies but a Blot:
If at the Presence of a Murtherer,
The Wound will bleed, and tell the Cause is there
[Page 355] A touch will do much more; even so my Heart,
When secretly it felt your killing Dart,
Shew'd it in Blood, which yet doth more complain
Because it cannot be so toucht again.
This wounded Heart, to shew its Love most true,
Sent forth a drop, and wrote its Mind to you:
Was ever Paper half so white as this?
Or wax so yielding to the printed Kiss?
Or seal so strong? No Letter e'er was writ,
That could the Authors Mind so truly fit:
For though my self to forreign Countrys fly,
My Blood desires to keep you Company.
Here I could spill it all, thus I can free
My Enemy from Blood, though slain I be;
But slain I cannot be, nor meet with ill,
Since, but to you, I have no Blood to spill.

The Puritan.

VVIth Face and Fashion to be known,
For one of sure Election,
With Eyes all white, and many a Groan,
With Neck aside to draw in Tone,
With Harp in's Nose, or he is none.
See a new Teacher of the Town,
O the Town, O the Towns new Teacher.
With Pate cut shorter than the Brow,
With little Ruff starch'd you know how,
With Cloak like Paul no Cape I trow.
With Surplice none; but lately now,
With Hands to thump, no Knees to bow.
See a new Teacher, &c.
[Page 356] With coz'ning Cough, and hollow Cheek,
To get new Gatherings every Week,
With Paltery Change of and to eke,
With some small Hebrew, and no Greek,
To find out Words, when stuff's to seek.
See a new Teacher, &c.
With Shop-board Breeding, and Intrusion,
With some Outlandish Institution,
With Ursin's Catechism to muse on,
With Systems Method for Confusion,
With Grounds strong laid of meer Illusion.
See a new Teacher, &c.
With Rites indifferent all damned,
And made unlawful, if commanded,
Good Works of Popery down-banded,
And Moral Laws from him estranged,
Except the Sabbath still unchanged.
See a new Teacher, &c.
With Speech unthought, quick Revelation,
With boldness in Predestination,
With threats of absolute Damnation,
For Yea and Nay hath some Salvation,
For his own Tribe, not every Nation.
See a new Teacher, &c.
With after License cost a Crown,
When Bishop new had put him down,
With Tricks call'd Repetition,
And Doctrine newly brought to Town,
Of teaching Men to hang and drown.
See a new Teacher, &c.
[Page 357] With Flesh-provision to keep Lent,
With Shelves of Sweet-meats often spent,
Which new Maid bought, old Lady sent,
Though to be sav'd a poor Present;
Yet Legacies assure the Event.
See a new Teacher, &c.
With Troops expecting him at th' Door,
That would hear Sermons, and no more;
With noting Tools, and Sighs great store,
With Bibles great to turn them o'er,
While he wrests Places by the Score.
See a new Teacher, &c.
With running Text, the Nam'd forsaken,
With For and But, both by Sense shaken,
Cheap Doctrines forc'd, wild Uses taken,
Both sometimes one, by Mark mistaken,
With any thing to any shapen.
See a new Teacher, &c.
With new-wrought Caps, against the Canon,
For taking Cold, though sure he have none;
A Sermons End, where he began one,
A new Hour long, when's Glass had run one,
New Use, new Points, new Notes to stand on.
See a new Teacher &c.

The Flight.

My Lelia stay,
And run not thus like a young Roe away,
No Enemy
Pursues thee (foolish Girl) 'tis only I,
I'll keep off Harms,
If thoul't be pleas'd to garrison mine Arms;
What, dost thou fear
I'll turn a Traytor? May these Roses here
To Paleness shread,
And Lillies stand disguized in new Red,
If that I lay
A Snare, wherein thou wouldst not gladly stay.
See, see the Sun
Does slowly to his Azure Lodging run,
Come, sit but here,
And presently he'l quit our Hemisphere;
So still, among
Lovers, time is too short, or else to long;
Here will we spin
Legends for them that have Loves Martyrs bin;
Here on this Plain,
We'l talk Naroissus to a Flower again:
Come here, and chose
On which of these proud Plats thou wouldst repose:
Here may'st thou shame
The rusty Violets with the crimson Flame
Of either Cheek,
And Primroses, white as thy Fingers seek;
Nay thou may'st prove,
That Mans most Noble Passion is to love.

To a Lady that wrought a Story of the Bible in Needle-work.

COuld we judge here, most vertuous Madam, then
Your Needle might receive Praise from our Pen:
But this our Want bereaves it of that part,
Whil'st to admire and thank is all our Art.
The Work deserves a Shrine: I should rehearse
Its Glory in a Story not in Verse.
Colours are mixed so subt'ly, that thereby
The Strength of Art doth take and cheat the Eye:
At once a thousand we can gaze upon,
But are deceiv'd by their Transition.
What Touches is the same, Beam takes from Beam;
The next still like, yet diff'ring in the Extream.
Here runs this Tract, whither we see that tends,
But cannot say, Here this, or there that ends;
Thus, while they creep insensibly we doubt,
Whether the one pours not the other out.
Faces so quick and lively, that we may
Fear, if we turn our Backs, they'l steal away.
Postures of Grief so true, that we may swear
Your artful Finger have wrought Passion there:
View we the Manger and the Babe, we thence
Believe the very Threads have Innocence;
Then on the Cross, such Love, such Grief we find,
As 'twere the Transcript of our Saviours Mind:
Each Parcel so expressive, each so fit,
That the whole seems not so much wrought as writ:
'Tis Sacred Text all, we may quote, and thence,
Extract what may be pass'd in our Defence.
Blest Mother of the Church, be in the List
Reason'd with four, a She-Evangelist.
[Page 360] Nor can the Stile be Prophanation, when
The Needle may convert more than the Pen;
When Faith may come by Seeing, and each Leaf,
Rightly perus'd, prove Gospel to the Deaf:
Had not that Helen haply found the Cross,
By this your Work you had repair'd that Loss.
Tell me not of Penelope, we do
See a Web here more chast and sacred too.
Where are ye now, O Women, ye that sow
Temptations, lab'ring to express the Bow
Of the blind Archer? Ye that rarely set
To please your Loves, a Venus in a Net?
Turn your Skill hither, then we shall, no Doubt,
See the Kings Daughter Glorious too without.
Women sow'd only Fig-leaves hitherto;
Eves Nakedness is only cloath'd by you.

To the King.

THe Prince hath now an Equal, and may see
A Fellow to his Sports, as great as he:
Nor need he lessen Birth, or fall from State,
Or he depos'd to an Associate;
Or else to fit Companions to his Play,
Need lay your Scepter or your Crown away.
And now you may behold Sir, by your side,
Your Royal self grown more, and multiply'd;
And those past Years, before and since your Reign,
May in your Children see liv'd o'er again;
Who are your Emblems; and though none be free
From Fate, yet you in them Immortal be;
And whil'st we may preserve your Living thus,
When e'er you dye, you not depart from us;
[Page 361] Your Sons will keep most of you from the Grave,
So, though we change, we no new King shall have.
You only will be varied; as a Grain
Lost in a Harvest, more returns again.
And though perchance we cannot say like those,
Who are Heirs to their Fathers Eyes or Nose,
Report his Look, and are so justly fac't
Like him, as if they were not born but cast,
That all these Signs we in the Princes find,
Yet sure, there is more likeness in their Mind;
Which you convey'd them through their Mother, who
Even thus did travel with your Vertues too,
Which to descend to our dull Sense and Earth,
Comes to us in their shapes, and suffer Birth,
And be your Off-spring, who when Chronicle
Is all we have, and Annals only tell
Your Deeds and Actions, and when Men shall look
And see the Prince and Duke do all the Book,
And live your Royal Story, and that all
Which you did well, was but prophetical;
Will not be thought as your Posterity,
But you in them will your Successor be.

To the Queen, upon the Birth of her first Daughter.

AFter the Prince's Birth, admired Queen,
Had you prov'd barren, you had fruitful been;
And in one Heir born to his Fathers Place
And Royal Mind, had brought us forth a Race;
But we, who thought we wisht enough to see
A Prince of Wales, have now a Progeny;
And you being perfect now, have learnt the Way
To be with Child as oft as we can pray.
[Page 362] So that henceforth, we need no Altars vex
With empty Vows, being heard in either Sex:
Nor have we all our Kingdoms Incense try'd
So many Years, only to be deny'd.
We no Desires but thankful Off'rings bring,
That bearing many, you prefer the King,
And to us yet have but one Daughter shown;
Who else had been the Original alone,
Without a Copy: For the Shapes we see
In Tables of you but bright Errors be;
Nor could we hope Art could beget an Heir
To that sweet Form, unless your self did bear
Your Pourtraiture, and in a Daughter shew,
That of your self, which yet no Painter drew;
Who with his subtle Hand, and wisest Skill,
Hath hitherto but striv'd to draw you ill;
And when he takes his Pencil from your Look,
Finds Colours make you but a Piece mistook,
And so paints Treason, nor would have Pretence
To scape, but that he limns a fair Pretence:
But in the Princess you are writ so plain
And true, that in her you were born again.
And when we see you both together plac't,
You are your Daughter, only grown in haste.
In both we may the self-same Graces see,
But that they yet in her but Infant be,
Not Woman Beauties; nor will we despair
The Prince and Duke of York have equal Share
In your Perfection, which, though they divide,
Make them both Prince enough by th'Mothers side:
Whose Composition is so clear and good,
That we can see Discourses in your Blood,
And understand your Body, so refin'd,
That of you might be born a Soul or Mind.
[Page 363] O may you still be fruitful, and begin
Henceforth to make our Year by lying in.
May we have store of Princes, and they live
Till Heraulds doubt what Titles they should give.
To this, may you be young still, and no other
Signs of more Age found in you, but a Mother.

Upon one that preacht in a Cloak.

SAw you the Cloak at Church to day,
The long-worn short Cloak lin'd with Say?
What had the Man no Gown to wear?
Or was this sent him from the Mayor?
Or is't the Cloak which Nixon brought
To trim the Tub, where Golledge taught?
Or can this best conceal his Lips,
And shew Communion sitting Hips?
Or was the Cloak St. Pauls? If so,
With it he found the Parchments too;
Yes, verily, for he hath been
With mine Host Gaius, at the new Inn.
A Gown (God bless us) trails o'th'Floor,
Like th'Petticoat o'th'Scarlet Whore,
Whose large stiff Plates, he dare confide,
Are Ribs from Antichrists own side:
A mourning Cope if it look to th'East,
Is the black Surplice of the Beast.

A Song of SACK.

COme let us drink away the time,
A Pox upon this pelting Rhime,
When Wine runs high, Wit's in the Prime:
Drink and stout Drinkers, are true Joys,
Odd Sonnets and such little Toys,
Are Exercises fit for Boys.
2.
The whining Lover that doth place
His Fancy on a painted Face,
And wasts his Substance in the Chase
Would ne'er in Melancholy pine;
Had he Affections so Divine,
As once to fall in Love with Wine.
3.
Then to our Liquor let us sit,
Wine makes the Soul for Action fit,
Who drinks most Wine, hath the most Wit:
The Gods themselves do Revels keep,
And in pure Nectar tipple deep,
When sloathful Mortals are asleep▪
4.
They fudled me for Recreation,
In Water, which by all Relation
Did cause Deucalions Inundation;
The Spangle Globe had it almost.
Their Cups were with Salt-Water do'st,
The Sun-burnt Center was the Toast.
5.
The Gods then let us imitate,
Secure from carping Care and Fate;
Wine, Wit, and Courage both create:
In Wine Apollo always chose
His darkest Oracles to disclose,
'Twas Wine gave him his Ruby-nose.
6.
Who dare's not drink, 's a wretched Wight,
Nor do I think that Man dares fight
All Day, that dares not drink all Night:
Come fill my Cup untill it swim
With Foam, that overlooks the Brim.
Who drinks the deepest? Here's to him.
7.
Sobriety and Study breeds
Suspicion in our Acts and Deeds,
The down-right Drunkard no Man heeds:
Give me but Sack, Tobacco store,
A drunken Friend, a little Whore;
Provide me these, I'll ask no more.

A Time-Sonnet.

NOw that our Holy Wars are done
Between the Father and the Son;
And since we have by Righteous Fate,
Distrest a Monarch and his Mate,
And forc'd their Heirs flee into France,
To weep out their Inheritance:
Let's set open all our Packs,
That contain ten thousand Racks,
Cast on the Shore of the Red Sea,
Of Naseby and of Newbery.
If then you will come provided with Gold,
We dwell close by Hell, where we'l sell
What you will, that is ill
For Charity waxeth cold.
2.
Hast thou done Murther, or Blood spilt;
We can soon get another Name,
That will keep thee from all Blame;
But be it still provided thus,
That thou hast once been one of us;
Gold is the God that shall pardon the Guilt:
For we have
What shall save
Thee from th'Grave;
Since the Law
We can awe,
Although a famous Prince's Blood were spilt.
3.
If a Church thou hast bereft
Of its Plate, 'tis Holy Theft.
Or for Zeal sake, if thou bee'st
Prompted on to be a Thief;
Gold is a sure prevailing Advocate.
Then come, bring a Sum, Law is dumb,
And submits to our Wits;
For it's Policy guides a State.

The Parliament.

MOst Gracious and Omnipotent,
And Everlasting Parliament,
Whose Power and Majesty
Is greater, than all Kings by odds;
And to account you less then Gods,
Must needs be Blasphemy.
2.
Moses and Aaron ne'er did do
More Wonder, than are wrought by you
[Page 367] For Englands Israel;
But though the Red Sea we have past,
If you to Canaan bring's at last,
Is't not a Miracle?
3.
In six Years space you have done more,
Than all the Parliaments before;
You have quite done the Work.
The King, the Cavaller, and Pope,
You have o'erthrown, and next we hope
You will confound the Turk.
4.
By you we have Deliverance,
From the Design of Spain and France,
Ormond, Montross, the Danes;
You aided by our Brethren Scots,
Defeated have Malignant Plots,
And brought your Sword to Cain's.
5.
What wholesom Laws have you ordain'd?
Whereby our Property's maintain'd
'Gainst those would us undo;
So that our Fortunes and our Lives,
Nay, what is dearer, our own Wives,
Are wholly kept by you.
6.
Oh! What a flourishing Church and State
Have we enjoy'd e'er since you sate
With a Glorious King (God save him:)
Have you now made his Majesty,
Had he the Grace but to comply,
And do as you would have him?
7.
Your Directory how to pray
By th'Spirit, shews the perfect Way.
In Zeal you have abolisht
The Dagon of the Common-prayer,
And next we see you will take Care,
That Churches be demolisht.
8.
A Multitude in every Trade
Of painful Preachers you have made
Learned, by Revelation:
Cambridge and Oxford made poor Preachers,
Each Shop affordeth better Teachers,
O Blessed Reformation!
9.
Your Godly Wisdom hath found out
The true Religion, without Doubt;
For sure among so many,
We have five Hundred at the least,
Is not the Gospel much increast?
All must be pure, if any.
10.
Could you have done more piously,
Than sell Church-Lands the King. to buy,
And stop the Cities Plenty?
Paying the Scots-Church-Militant,
That the new Gospel helpt to plant,
God knows they are Poor Saints.
11.
Because th'Apostles Creed is lame,
Th'Assembly doth a better frame,
Which saves us all with Ease;
Provided still we have the Grace
To believe th'House in the first Place,
Be our Works what they please.
12.
'Tis strange your Power and Holiness,
Can't the Irish Devil dispossess,
His End is very stout;
But though you do so often pray,
And every Month keep Fasting-day,
You cannot cast them out.

On the May-Pole.

THe Mighty Zeal which thou hast late put on,
Neither by Prophet, nor by Prophets Son
As yet prevented, doth transport me so
Beyond my self, that though I ne'er could go
Far in a Verse, and have all Rhimes defi'd,
Since Hopkins and good Thomas Sternhold dy'd;
Except it were the little Pains I took,
To please Good People in a Prayer Book
That I set forth, or so; yet must I raise
My Spirits for thee, who shall in thy Praise
Gird up her Loyns, and furiously run
All kind of Feet, but Satans cloven one.
Such is thy Zeal, so well thou dost express it,
That wer't not like a Charm I'd said, God bless it.
I needs must say it is a spiritual thing,
To rail against the Bishop and the King:
But these are private Quarrels, this doth fall
Within the Compass of the General;
Whether it be a Pole painted, or wrought
Far otherwise then from the Wood 'twas brought,
Whose Head the Idol-makers Hand doth crop,
Where a profane Bird tow'ring on the top,
Looks like the Calf in Horeb, at whose Root
The unyoakt Youth doth exercise his Foot:
[Page 370] Or whether it preserves its Boughs befriended
By Neighbouring Bushes, and by them attended.
How canst thou chuse but seeing it, complain
That Baal's worship'd in the Groves again?
Tell me how curst an egging with a Sting.
Of Lust, do these unwily Dances bring:
The simple Wretches say they mean no harm,
They do'nt indeed, but yet these Actions warm
Our purer Bloud the more: For Satan thus
Tempts us the more that are more Righteous.
Oft hath a Brother most sincerely gone
Stifled with Zeal and Contemplation,
Where lighting on the Place where such Repair,
He views the Nymph, and is clean out in's Prayer.
Oft hath a Sister grounded in a Truth,
Seeing the jolly Carriage of the Youth,
Been tempted to the Way that's broad and bad,
And wer't not for our private Pleasures, had
Renounc'd her little Ruff and goggle Eye,
And quit her self of the Fraternity.
What is the Mirth, what is the Melody
That sets them in this Gentiles Vanity?
When in our Synagogues we rail at Sin,
And tell Men of the Faults that they are in;
With Hand and Voice so following our Theams,
That we put out the Sides-men in their Dreams,
Sounds not the Pulpit then which we belabor
Better, and holier then doth a Tabor?
Yet such is Unregenerate Mans Folly,
He loves the wicked Noise, and hates the Holy.
If the Sius sweet Enticing, and the Blood
Which now begins to boyl, have thought it good
To challenge Liberty and Recreation;
Let it be done in Holy Contemplation.
[Page 371] Brother and Sister in the Field may walk,
Beginning of the Holy Word to talk,
Of David and Uriah's lovely Wife,
Of Thamar and her lustful Brothers Strife:
Then underneath the Hedge that is the next,
They may sit down, and so act out the Text:
Nor do we want (how e'er we live Austere)
In Winter Sabbath Nights some lusty Chear,
And though the Pastor's Grace which oft doth hold
Half an Hour long, make the Provision cold;
We can be merry thinking ne'er the worse,
To mend the Matter at the second Course:
Chapters are read, and Hymns are sweetly sung,
Joyntly commanded by the Nose and Tongue;
Then on the Word we diversly dilate,
Wrangling indeed for Heat of Zeal, not Hate.
When at the length an unappeased Doubt
Fiercely comes in, and then the Lights go out;
Darkness thus makes our Peace, and we contain
Our fiery Spirits till we meet again:
Till then no Voice is heard, no Tongue do's go,
Unless a tender Sister shriek, or so.
Such should be our Delights, grave and demure,
Not so abominable and impure
As those thou seek'st to hinder, but I fear
Satan will be too strong, his Kingdom's there:
Few are the Righteous, nor do I know
How this Idol here shall overthrow,
Sin our sincerest Patron is deceast,
The Number of the Righteous is decreast;
But we do hope these times will on, and breed
A Faction mighty for us, for indeed
We labour all, and every Sister joins
To have Regenerate Babes spring from our Loyns.
[Page 372] Besides what many carefully have done,
To get the unrighteous Man a Righteous Son.
Then stoutly on, let not thy Flocks range lewdly,
In their old Vanities, thou Lamp of Beaudly;
One thing I pray thee, do not so much thirst
After Idolatries last fall, but first
Follow thy Suit more close, let it not go,
Till it be thine as thou wouldst hav't, for so
Thy Successors upon the same entail,
Hereafter may take up the Whit-sun-Ale.

To the Queen.

Most Gracious Queen,
IF Poets could be born, as oft as you
Bring Princes forth, something might then be new;
Th'Alembicks of the Womb and Brain run cross,
Elixars they'r more common than our Dross.
Your fair and beautiful Soil pure Manna breeds,
When our dull Mud is barren too in Weeds:
Though then you here find nothing fresh but Names,
This Verse being writ for Charles and that for Iames;
Yet may they now (like sacred Reliques) be
Lov'd and embrac'd for their Antiquity.
Your former Teeming taught the costive Earth,
And barren Wives the Fashion of a Birth;
But now (as if your wise Fertility,
An Extract were of all State-policy)
You give Example unto Men, and teach
Loyalty more than our Divines can reach.
You that do practise base Exactions, and
Rail at the needful Taxes of our Land,
Thinking your Money better spent upon
A Coach or Feast, or some new Fashion,
[Page 373] Of devout Rebels, the Non-ships which be
Walls that imprison us to Liberty,
Like those Athenian Grandees, who to see
The costly Madness of one Tragedy,
Could scatter large Supplies, although 'twas known,
This want made them Spectators of their own.
Learn Homage now from Majesty, the Queen
Her self hath here the best of Subjects been;
She pays large Tribute, that it may appear,
Safety, like Heaven, is never bought too dear.
I've read of Roman Matrons, who did drown
Their Richest Jewels, to preserve their Town;
Stopping the Gulf with Pearls, which grac'd their Ears,
They rather chuse no Ornaments than Fears.
And those brave Dames of Carthage were content
To shave their dangling Tresses, which they lent
For Cordage then, and glory'd they could see
What once was Pride, turn'd now to Subsidy:
Baldness was Beauty there, nor did they care
So they could bend their Bows, to lose their Hair.
But you (Great Queen) contrive your Countrys good,
Not from your Locks Expence, but from your Blood.
Each parcel of the Duke, bright as his Eyes,
Proves you give Jewels of a wealthier Prize:
Who, for a General Safety, wish to be
Blest with the Pangs of your high Agony.
Whilst the dull Lees of Man scarce deign to give
Poor common Service, that themselves may live.

Upon Tom of Christ-Church.

THou that by Ruin do'st repair,
And by Destruction art a Founder:
Whose Art doth tell us what Men are,
Who by Corruption shall rise sounder:
In this fierce Fires intensive Heat,
Remember this is Tom the Great.
And Cyclops think at every Stroke,
Which with thy Sledge his Side shall wound,
That then some Statute thou hast broke,
Which long depended on his Sound;
And that our Colledge-Gates did cry,
They were not shut since Tom did dye.
Think what a Scourge 'tis to the City,
To drink and swear by Carfax Bell,
Which bellowing without Tune, or Pity,
The Nights and Days divides not well;
But the poor Tradesman must give o'er
His Ale at Eight, or sit till four.
We in all haste drink off our Wine,
As if we never should drink more:
So that the Reck'ning after nine
Is larger now than that before.
Release this Tongue, which er'st could say,
Home Scholars; Drawer, what's to pay:
So thou of Order shalt be Founder,
Making a Ruler for the People,
One that shalt ring thy Praises Wonder,
Than th'other Six Bells in the Steeple:
Wherefore think, when Tom is running,
Our Manners wait upon thy Cunning.
[Page 375] Then let him raised be from Ground,
The same in Number, Weight, and Sound,
So may thy Conscience rule thy Gain,
Or would thy Theft might be thy Bane.

On a Burning-Glass.

STrange Chymistry! Can Dust and Sand produce
So pure a Body, and diaphanous?
Strange kind of Courtship! That the Amorous Sun,
T'embrace a Min'ral, twists his Rays in one;
Talk of the Heavens mockt, by a Sphere, alas!
The Sun it self's here in a Piece of Glass:
Let Magnets draw base Iron, this alone
Can to her Icy Bosom win the Sun.
Witches may cheat us of his Light a while,
But this can him even of himself beguile:
In Heaven he staggers to both Tropicks, here
He keeps fixt Residence all times o'th'Year:
Here's a perpetual Solstice, here he lies,
Not on a Bed of Water, but of Ice;
How well by this himself abridge, he might
Redeem the Scythians from their lingring Night.
How well by this Glass Proxy might he roul
Beyond the Ecliptick, and warm either Pole;
Had but Prometheus been so wise, h'had ne'er
Scal'd Heaven to light his Torch, but lighted here.
Had Archimedes once but known this Use,
H'had burnt Marcellus from proud Syrdcuse:
Had Vesta's Maids of Honour this but seen,
Their Ladies Fire had ne'er extinguisht been:
Hells Engines might have finisht their Design
Of Powder (but that Heaven did countermine)
[Page 376] Had they but thought of this; th'Egyptians may
Well hatch their Eggs without the Midwife Clay;
Why do not puling Lovers this devise,
For a fit Emblem of their Mistress Eyes?
They call them Diamonds, and say th'have been
Reduc'd by them, to Ashes all within;
But they'l assume't, and ever hence 'twill pass,
A Mistress Eye is but Loves Burning-Glass.

Upon Sheriff Sanbourn.

FIe, Schollars, fie; have you such thirsty Souls,
To swell, quaff and carouse in Sandbourn's Bouls?
Tell me, mad Youngsters, what do you believe,
It cost good Sandbourn nothing to be Shrieve,
To spend so many Beeves, so many Weathers,
Maintaining so many Caps, so many Feathers?
Again, Is Malt so cheap this pinching Year,
That you should make such Havock of his Beer?
I hear you are so many that you make
Most of his Men turn Tapsters, for your sake;
And that when he even on the Bench doth sit,
You snatcht the Meat from off the hungry Spit;
You keep such Hurly-burly, that it passes,
Ingurgitating sometimes whole half Glasses,
And some of you (Forsooth) are grown so fine
Or else so sawcy, as to call for Wine;
As if the Sheriff had put such Men in trust,
As durst draw out more Wine than needs they must:
In Faith, In Faith, it is not well, my Masters,
Nor fit, that you should be the Sheriffs Tasters;
It were enough, you being such Gourmandisers,
To make the Sheriffs, henceforth, turn arrant Misers;
[Page 377] Remove th'Assize, to Oxfords foul Disgrace,
To Henly on the Thames, or some such Place.
He never had complained had it been
A petty Firkin, or a Kilderkin:
But when a Barrel daily is drawn out,
My Masters, then it's time to look about.
Is this a Lie, trow ye? I tell you, No,
My Lord High-Chancellor was informed so.
And oh! What would not all the Bread in Town
Suffice, to drink the Sheriffs Liquor down?
But he in Hampers must it from hence bring,
Oh most prodigious, and most monstrous thing!
Upon so many Loaves of Home-made Bread,
How long might he and his two Men have fed?
He would, no doubt, the Poor they should be fed
With the sweet Morsels of his broken Bread;
But when that they poor Souls for Bread did call,
Answer was made, The Scholars eat up all.
And when for broken Beer they crav'd a Cup,
Answer was made, the Scholars drunk it up;
And thus, I know not how they chang'd the Name
But did the Deed, and Long-tail bore the blame.

Not to travel.

VVHat need I travel, since I may
More choicer Wonders here survey?
What need I Tyre for Purple seek,
When I may find it in a Cheek?
Or sack the Eastern Shores, there lies
More precious Diamonds in her Eyes?
What need I dig Peru for Oar,
When every Hair of her yields more?
Or toyl for Gums in India,
Since she can breath more rich than they?
[Page 378] Or ransack Africk, there will be
On either Hand more Ivory?
But look within all Vertues that
Each Nation would appropriate,
And with the Glory of them rest,
Are in this Map at large exprest;
That, who would travel, here might know
The little World in Folio.

The Schismatick.

ONce I a curious Eye did fix
To observe the Tricks
Of the Schismaticks of the Times;
Viewing which of them spoke the merriest Theme,
And best would befit my Rhimes;
Arminians I found solid, Socinian were stolid,
But the Papist for Learning doth stickle,
Ha, ha, ha, Rotundus, Rotundus, 'tis you that my Spleen doth tickle.
2.
Next to tell you must not be forgot,
How I did trot
With a great Zealot, to a Lecture,
Where I a Tub did view,
Hung with an Apron blew
'Twas the Preacher's I conjecture:
His Use and Doctrine too,
Was of no better Hue,
Though taught with a tone most mickle,
Ha, ha, ha, &c.
3.
He talkt among other pretty things,
That the Book of Kings
Small Comfort brings
[Page 379] To the Godly;
Besides he had some Grudges
Against the Book of Iudges,
And talkt of Leviticus odly.
But Wisdom most of all
He held Apochryphal,
Great Bell and the Dragon like Michael,
His Preaching, like himself, was but fickle,
Ha, ha, ha, &c.
5.
'Gainst Humane Learning he next inveighs,
And he boldly says,
It is that which decays Inspiration.
Those that Preferment merit,
Are not like to wear it,
In hopes of Reformation;
Cut Bishops down in haste,
And Cathedrals as fast,
As Corn that is fit for the Sickle,
Ha, ha, ha, &c.
5.
I heard of one did touch,
He did tell as much,
Of one that would not crouch
At Communion;
Who thrusting up his Hand
Never made a Stand,
Till he came where her f—had Union;
She without all Terror,
Thought it no Error,
But did laugh, till the Tears down did trickle,
Ha, ha, ha, Rotundus, Rotundus, 'tis you that my
Spleen doth tickle.

A Sermon.

HEarken I beseech you, with Fear and Reve­rence to these Words, as you may perhaps find them written in the Apocrypha, the Chapter and Verse you may find out at your Leisure; the Words to my best Remembrance are these, A Car­penter took his Ax, and hewed the Root of the Tree, which because it brought not forth good Fruit, it was instantly thrown into the Fire. Beloved, instantly is certainly, the Axe instrumentally hewing, orderly struck against the Root, effectually of the Tree, particularly of that Tree, impartially because it brought not forth; put all together, my Beloved, because it brought not forth good Fruit, instantly, effectually, particularly, instrumentally, orderly, proportionally, impartially, it is inevitably and fatally to be cast irresistably into the Fire Ever­lastingly, and so of these, and of all these, as the time shall permit; but the Glass it out, and so am I.

A Zealous Discourse between the Person of the Parish, and Tabitha.

Parson,
HAil Sister to your snowy Breast
The Word permitteth us to jeast,
Now Sermon's done, nor should you be
Stiff-necked to the Ministry,
As you may read it more at large
In Dod's Commandments, or my Charge
Last Sabbath in my Catechism;
Wherein we prove they make a Schism,
[Page 381] Who do deny us in the Night
To strengthen you by Candle-light;
And truly might my Reasons be
But wav'd according to the Grand Committee
For Reformation I would prove,
That we out of sincere Love
Our devout Spouses Room might take
Each Sabbath for Repetition Sake:
And verily of late 'tis se'd,
More Eyes have opened from the Bed
Than from the Pulpit, and we there
Can sooner teach you how to bear.
Tabitha.
In Truth I know not what to say,
Replies this zealous Tabitha,
But on those Nights I you assure,
Our Husbands are too, too impure;
And clog our Consciences too high
With Seed that doth not fructifie,
As you may read. Ruth, where's my Book?
It is in Matthew, Mark, Iohn, or Luke.
But would it not a scandal be
Unto the New Presbytery?
Parson.
No: For all things must be done,
You know, for Edification;
Which is no more in English, than
The building up of Faithful Woman.
Tab.
But hold, do these same Words proceed
From the Beast's Language then indeed?
Sure the Scotch or Geneva Print
Hath no such Rags of Babel in't.
Nay fie, Good Sir, what do you mean?
In troth your Hand is too obscene;
Evil Requests must be deny'd,
Let go, my Placket's on my side;
[Page 382] Why look you now; I pray be calm,
The Spirit moves to sing a Psalm.
The Hymn. The Post, that came from Banbury,
Riding in a Blew Rocket,
He swore he saw, when Lunsford fell,
A Childs Arm in his Pocket.
Parson.
I think I hear your Husband pray,
Listen hark! so; and then why may
Not a Sister, or a Brother
Engender Grace in one another?
Tab.
You preacht against it, Sir.
Par.
I, so I must,
Where it is only done for Lust;
But I protest 'tis Zeal indeed,
To propagate the Holy Seed,
That moves me.
Tab.
And indeed said she,
I feel that self same Prick of Zeal in me,
As it were thrusting me on still,
Therefore, Good Sir, ev'n do what you will.
Why look you now; what Hurt's in this,
I'll feal it with a Holy Kiss.
And e'er your Husband say Amen,
I'll do this great Work twice agen.
Tabitha.
Sir, make haste to rise,
'Tis for my Evening Exercise;
It will be Supper time I doubt,
E'er I shall read my Chapter out.
Besides alas! Oh! How do I
Forget my Practice of Piety.

Pray rectifie my Gorget, smooth my Whisk, that our zealous Conflict may not be discerned by the Reprobate, the Children of Wrath, Firebrands of Hell, and Heirs to Destruction.

On O. P. sick.

YIeld Periwig'd Impostor, yield to Fate,
Religious Whisler, Mountebank of Fate,
Down to the low'st Abyss, the blackest Shade
That Night dares own, that so the Earth (thou'st made
Loathsom by thousand Barbarisms) may be
Deliver'd from Heavens Vengeance, and from thee.
The reeking Steam of thy fresh Villanies
Would spot the Stars, and menstruate the Skies.
Force them to break the League they've made with Men
And with a Flood rinse the foul World agen.
Thy Bays are tarnish'd with thy Cruelties,
Rebellions, Sacriledge, and Perjuries.
Descend, descend, thou vailed Devil, fall
Thou subtle Blood-sucker, thou Cannibal:
Thy Arts are catching, cozen Satan too,
Thou hast a trick more than he ever knew;
He ne'er was Atheist yet, perswade him to't,
The Schismaticks will back thee Horse and Foot.

An Answer to the Storm.

'TIs well he's gone, (O had he never been)
Hurry'd in Storms, loud as his crying Sin;
The Pines and Oaks fell prostrate at his Urn,
That with his Fame his— [...]
Winds pluck up Roots, and fixed Cedars move,
Roaring for Vengeance to the Heavens above;
From Theft, like his great Romulus did grow,
And such a Wind did at his Ruin blow.
[Page 384] Strange that the lofty Trees themselves should fell
Without the Axe, so Orpheus went to Hell;
At whose Descent the stoutest Rocks were cleft,
And the whole Wood its wonted Station left;
In Battle Hercules wore the Lions Skin,
But our fierce Nero wore the Beast within,
Whose Heart was brutish more than Face or Eyes,
And in the Shape of Man was in Disguise:
Where ever Men, where ever Pillage lyes,
Like ravenous Vultures, our wing'd Navy flys,
Under the Tropick we are understood,
And bring home Rapine through a Purple Flood.
New Circulations found, our Blood is hurl'd
As round the lesser to the greater World.
In civil Broils he did us first engage,
And made three Kingdoms subject to his Rage:
One fatal Stroke slew Justice, and the Cause
Of Truth, Religion, and our sacred Laws.
So fell Achilles by the Trojan Band,
Though he still fought with Heaven its self in's hand.
Nor would Domestick Spoil confine his Mind,
No Limits to his Fury but Mankind.
The Brittish Youth, in Forreign Coasts are sent
Towns to destroy, but more to Banishment;
Who since they cannot in this Isle abide,
Are confin'd Prisoners to the World beside;
No Wonder then if we no Tears allow
To him that gave us Wars and Ruin too.
Tyrants, that lov'd him, griev'd, concern'd to see
There must be Punish [...]ent for Cruelty.
Nature her self rejoyced at his Death,
And on the Waters sung with such a Breath,
As made the Sea dance higher than before,
While her glad Waves came dancing to the Shore.
FINIS

[Page] THE Rustick Rampant, OR RURAL ANARCHY AFFRONTING Monarchy: IN THE INSURRECTION OF WAT TYLER.

By I: C.

Claudian.

Asperius nihil est humili cum surgit in altum.

LONDON, Printed by R. Holt, for Obadiah Blagrave, at the Bear in St. Paul's Church-yard. 1687.

Iohn of Lydgate, Lib. 4.

ANd semblably to put it at a Prefe,
And execute it by clear Experience,
One the most contrarious Mischief,
Found in this Earth by notable Evidence,
If only this by Fortunate Uiolence,
When that Wretches churlish of Fature
The Estate of Princes unwarely doth recure.
A Crown of Gold, is nothing according,
For to be set upon a Knaves heed;
A Foltish Clerk for to wear a Ring,
Accordeth not, who that can take hede,
And in this World there is no greater Dread,
Then Power give (if it be well sought)
Unto such one that first rose up of Fought.
There is no manner iust Convenience
A Royal Carbuncle, Ruby, or Garnet,
For a chast Emeraud of Uirtues Excelence,
For Inde Saphirs in Copper to be set,
[...] Kind'ly Power in foul Metal is let,
And so the State of politick Puysance
Is euer lost where Knaves have Governance.
[Page 388] For a time they may well up ascend,
Like windy Smoaks their fumes sprede,
A crowned Ass plainly to comprehend,
Uoid of Discretion is more for to drede
Then is a Lyon; for that one indede
Of his Fature is Mighty and Royal,
Uoid of Discretion that other Beastial.
The gentle Fature of a strong Lyon,
To prostrate People of kind is merciable,
For unto all that fall afore him doun,
His Royal Puissaunce cannot be vengeable:
But churlish [...]olves by Rigour untreatable,
And folty She-asses eke of Beastialty,
Failing Reason braid ever on Cruelty.
Fone is so proud as he that can no good.
The leuder heed the more Presumption,
Most Cruelty and Uengeance in low Blood
[...]ith Malaper [...]ness and Indiscretion,
Of Churl and Gentle make this Division
Of outhor of them I dare right well report
Fro thence they came, thereto they wyll resort.

To the Reader.

THe Beginnings of the Second Ri­chard's Reign are turmoiled with a Rebellion, which shook his Throne and Empire: A Rebellion, not more against Religion and Order, than Nature and Humanity too; a Rebellion never to be believed, but in the Age it was acted in, and our own, in which we find how terrible the Overflows of the common People (ever delighted in the Calamities of others) untyed, and hurryed on by their own Wills, and beastly Fury, must prove. Though Masa­nello is short of Tyler, yet if we compare that Fisherman with our Hind, the Neapolitan Mechanicks, and our Clowns, we shall not find them much unlike; not in their sudden Flourish and Prosperity, not in the Mischiefs they did, and the barbarous savage Rudeness in the do­ing them: Masanello made a Shew of foolish unseasonable Piety to the Prince and Arch­bishop, which became not his part, which made him the more imperfect Rebel, the worse Poli­tician; however, he might seem the better [Page 390] Man; but these too might be but counterfeit Reverence, this might be his Disguise, and he might have come up to more, according to the new Lights, which we may imagine was break­ing in. The Continuance and Mis-rule of these Worthies were much of a Length; in a few 'Days the Brands themselves had fired, broke upon their own Heads; they were pluck'd up before their full Growth, like airy flitting Clouds, they were blown over e'er they could pour down the Storm they were big with. The Colours of these Tumults were fair, and taking, such as their Architects Baal and Straw, the Priests had laid, such as the Masters of these Schools have deliver'd in all Ages. The Weal publick, the Liberty of the free-born People pilled, and flayed by the King's Taxes, and the cruel Oppression of the Gentry, Iustice, Refor­mation, or Regulation of Fundamental Laws long subverted (considerable Names if we may believe them) set them on. The King, his Glory, his Honour, his Safety, the King and the Commons are cry'd up. But the King was compassed with Traitors and Malignants, they will have it so, and it is their Care to remove them Root and Branch; they will fire the House to cleanse it; much other Business they had, much was amiss, much to be reformed, but in the first Sally all is not noised; what was not [Page 391] handsome, what might give a fuller Fright was lapped up in Folds, to be discovered as they had thriven, to be swallowed, but gilded with a Victory: we know Crimes carried in a happy Stream of Luck, lose their Names in it, are Beautiful, and must be thought so: The Or­dale of the Sword justified Caesar, and con­demned Pompey, not his Cause. Adversae res etiam bonos detractant (says Salust.) Good Men if they miscarry, do not only lose themselves but their Integrity, their Iust­ness, their Honesty; they are what the Con­queror pleases, and the silly Multitude, which ever admires the glitter of Prosperity, will hate them. Providence preserved the English Nation from this Blow. The Lawrel of Success crowned not the Rebels, they crumble to their first Dust again, are ruined by their own Weight and Confusion. They had risen like those Sons of the Dragons Teeth, in Tempests, without Policy or Advice. Their Leaders were meerly fantastical, but Goblins and Shadows; Men willing to embroyl, and daring, whose Courage was better than their Cause; and who to advance the Design would not boggle at a piece of Honesty, an Oath, a Protestation, or Covenant, a Verse of St. Paul, or St. Peter, a Case of Conscience in the Way of brave, bold, manly Spirits; yet without Heads or Wits to [Page 392] manage the Great Work, which in so vast a Body suddenly composed like the Spawns of Nile, of Slime and Dirt, of so different Parts, so unequal Members, was fatal to the Whole. Tyler had no Brains, he could not plot, nor contrive; and those about him were as heavy, as very Asses as himself: He is said to be a crafty Fellow, and of an Excellent Wit, but wanting Grace; yet crafty enough he was not for the great and dangerous Enterprize: A Marius (however Impious, for such he must be) pace pessimus, fitter to remove things, to overturn overturns, than for Peace; but (as Plutarch of him) subtil, faithless, one who could over do all Men in Dissembling, in Hypo­crisie, practised in all the Arts of Lying (and some of these good Sleights Tyler wanted not) one who had Sense and Iudgment, to carry things on, as well as desperate Confidence to undertake, had become this part incomparably, had gone through with it; how easily under such a Captain (if we look upon the Weakness of the Opposition, and the Villainous Baseness of the Gentry) had the Frame of the ancient Building been rased, the Model must have held. Richard (whose Endeavours of De­fence or Loyalty alone should have been killing) had not fallen by the Sword of Lancaster, he had found his Grave on Tower-hill, or [Page 393] Smithfield, where the faithful Lieges of his Crown were torn in peices by these Cannibals. The Reverence due to the Anointed Heads of Kings began to fall away, and Naked Majesty could not guard where Innocency could not: But Tyler blinded by his own fatal Pride, throws himself foolishly upon the Kings Sword, and by his over-much Hast preserves him, whom he had vowed to destroy. The Heathens make it a Mark of the Divinity of their Gods, that they bestowed Benefits upon Mortal Men, and took nothing from them. The Clowns of the Idol upon this Rule were not very Hea­venly, they were the meek Ones of those times, the only Inheritors of Right; the Kingdom was made a Prey by them, it was cantoned out to erect new Principalities for the Mock-Kings of the Commons; so their Chiefs or Captains would be called. Here, though the Title of Rebellion spoke fair, was shewn somewhat of Ambition, and no little of unjust private Inte­rest, no little of Self-seeking, which the Good of the People (in Pretence only) was to give Way to, and no Wonder for the good of the People properly, was meerly to be intended of themselves: and no where but amongst those was the Commonwealth. Had these Thistles, these Brambles flourished, the whole Wood of Noble Trees had perished: If the violent [Page 394] casting other Men out of their Possessions, firing their Houses, cutting off their Heads, viola­ting of all Rights, be thought Gods Blessing, any Evidence of his owning the Cause; these Thieves and Murderers were well blessed, and sufficiently owned. Such was then the Face of things; Estates were dangerous; Every rich Man was an Enemy; Mens Lives were taken away without either Offence or Tryal, their Reign was but a Continuation of horri­ble Injuries; the Laws were not only silent, but dead: The Idol's Fury was a Law, and Faith, and Loyalty, and Obedience to Lawful Power, were damnable: Servants had the Rule over Princes, England was near a Slave­ry, the most unworthy of free and ingenious Spirits of any.

What I relate here (to speak something of the Story) I collect out of Sir John Froissart, a French-Man, living in the Times of King EDWARD the Third, and his Grandchild, King RICHARD, who had seen England in both the Reigns, was known and esteemed in the Court, and came last over after these Tumults were appeased: And out of Thomas of Walsingham, a Monk of St. Al­bans in Henry the Sixth's Days; who (says Bale in his Centuries of him) writes many the most choice Passages of Affairs and Actions, [Page 395] such as no other hath met with. In the Main, and to the Substance of things, I have made no Additions, no Alterations. I have faith­fully followed my Authors, who are not so historically exact, as I could wish, nor could I much better what did not please me in their Order. No Man (says Walsingham) can re­cite fully the Mischeifs, Mur­ders, Sacriledge and Cruelty of Hypod. Neust. these Actors; he excuses his digesting them, upon the Confusion of the combustious Flaming in such Variety of Places, and in the same time. Tyler, Litstar, and those of Hartford­shire take up most part of the Discourse; West­brome is brought in by the Halves; the lesser Snakes are only named in the Chronicle: what had been more, had not been to any purpose: Those were but Types of Tyler the Idol, and acted nothing but according to the Original, ac­cording to his great Example: they were Wolves alike, and he that reads one knows all. Thomas Par Wals. Westen &c. Per Thomae Sangui­nem salva nos Brevi­ar. fest. S. Tho. Cant. Rishang Polyd. D'A­villa Iaques Clem. the Paricide of Hen. 3. of France was prayed for as a Saint. of Becket, Simon of Mont­fort; the English Cataline, Thomas of Lancaster, Re­bels and Traitors of the for­mer years are canonized by the Monks (generally the Enemies of their Kings) Miracles make their [Page 396] T [...]mbs Illustrious and their Memories Sacred. The Idol and his Incendiaries are abhorred e­very where, every History detests them, while Faith, Civility, Honesty and Piety shall be left in the World, the Enemies of all these must neither be beloved nor pittied.

THE Rustick Rampant, OR RURAL ANARCHY.

THe Reign of King Richard the Second was but a Throw of State for so many Years, a Feaver to whose Distempers all pieces of the home Dominions con­tributed by Fits (Guien. the forraign part only continuing faithful.) In the fourth Year of his Reign, and Fifteenth of his Age the Dregs and Off-scum of the Commons unite into Bodies in se­veral parts of the Kingdom, and form a Rebellion (called the Rebellion of the Clowns) which lead the rest, and shewed the Way of Disobedience first. Of which may truly be said (though a­mongst other Causes, we may attribute it to the In­disposition and Unseasonableness of the Age, that the Fruits of it did not take) it was strongly be­gun, and had not Providence held back the Hand, the Blow had fallen, the Government had broke in­to Shivers then. The young King at this time had few besides Thomas of Woodstock his Uncle, [Page 398] Earl of Buckingham, and after Duke of Glocester, but the Servants of his House in Ordinary about him, the Lord Edmund of Langley Earl of Cam­bridge, after Duke of York, with the Lords Beau­champ, Botereaux, Sir Matthew Gourney, with o­thers of the Nobility and Gentry, had set sail for Portugal, the Duke Iohn of Lancaster, another of his Uncles, was in Scotland treating a Peace, when this Commotion brake out. Though no Cause can be given for Seditions, those, who design publick Troubles, can never want Pretences; Po­lidore (as much out in this Story as any) gives this Reason for this; the Poll-mony, says he (impo­sed by Parliament) a Groat Sterling upon every Head was intolerable. It was justly imposed, and so by some, to whom Law and Custom of England were intolerable not to be endured; but we shall find in the Tyranny breaking in, not only fifth and twentieth Parts and Loans forced, out of Fear of Plunder and Death; but Subsidies in Troop and Re­giments, by Fifties, (more than Sequestrations and Compositions) not under Foot, low Sales; for what had these Rascals to give, but down-right Robbery and Violent Usurpations of Estates.

Thus would Polidore have it in Defence of his Priests, who blew the Fire, and thrust the silly Rout into the midst of it. He takes it ill that Baal (Valle he calls him) should be supposed, by I know not what Flatterers of the Nobles, to have filled these Sails, to have let these Winds out of their Caverns.

In the fourth Year of this King (says the Monk) there was a grievous Tax exacted in Parliament; after Cause of great Trouble, every Religious paid [Page 399] half a Mark, every secular Priest as much, every Lay-Man or Woman 12d. This might discontent the People, but who prepared the Mutineers for such dangerous Impressions? Who fell in with them after, and pushed them forward, will be soon found. Froissart complains of the Servitude of the Villains or Bond-men (now Names worn out) a miserable sort of Drudges, frequently known here in the Saxon times; excluded from any Right of Propriety, sold, and passed away with the Man­nor or Lands to which they belonged, bound to till the Lords Ground, cut down, and carry in his Corn, cleanse his Ditches, cover his Hall, &c. These Froissart make the first Stirrers in the Insur­rection, these he makes look back to the Beginning of Men and things to talk of the Primitive Free­dom, of the Liberties of the Creature, above Or­dinances; that only Treason against the Lords could forfeit Liberty, which was the Case of Lu­cifer, and could not be made theirs, who were nei­ther Angels nor Spirits, but Men of the same Shape, Extraction, and Souls with those who proudly would be thought their Lords; which (say they) was an height too much, and deserved Levelling, must not be endured hereafter. Equality was the Way of Peace and Love. But can Clouds fire in Thunder and Lightning, can Earth-quakes tear the Entrails of Expiring Kingdoms, without a Muncer, or a Wiggington, a Garnet, or an Hall in the Mine?

If the Church and Government must be blown up, it is fit a sanctified Hand should (cast the Balls) a Man (according to the pure Dialect) of immedi­ate Calling, who has had the Seal of it, of wonderful [Page 400] Zeal, of resolute Dealings, the Lords Messenger ex­traordinarily gifted and exercised, is only fit to ad­vance Gods Matters, the Holy Cause, and Action: And a Renegado from his Orders, an Apostate Church-man will best become this Person, a Man with whom nothing else is Sacred but his own Am­bition, his Innovation, and the Propagation of his Schism. One Baal the most sottish and most un­worthy, but most factious of the Clergy, is stirred up by the Devil (who, if Rebellion be as the Sin of Witchcraft, is the Father of both) to be the Antichrist of this Reign, to blaspheme and cry down God and Caesar his Anointed, the Rights of God and Caesar; and who, if he knew any thing, was certainly the very Atheist of that Age: Of these Imaginations (so Froissert of those before) was a foolish Priest in the County of Kent, called John Wall (for Baal) and to make it plain that he was the Father of the Uproar, he had been (says this Knight) three times in the Archbishops Prison (a persecuted Saint) for these Opinions, but delivered by him, his Conscience was scrupulous of proceed­ing farther, which this Historian condemns him for: We shall hereafter see the Archbishop in Iohn's Hands, who shall come short of this Mercy. Iohn had preached (if it be not Impious to Use the Word here) twenty Years, and more, ever bab­ling those things which he fancied would be Graci­ous to the Multitude; he haunted By-places, the Cloysters of the Cathedral; when the Church was shut against him, the Streets and Fields were Holy Ground; there this excommunicated Apostate laid his Nets. His Discourses to the People were partly Invectives against Tithes (which he allowed [Page 401] not where the [...] Parishioner was of better Life and smaller Estate than the Parson, whose Estate at this rate must be small enough) against Bishops, and the Clergy, Nobility and Gentry; Then he had his Quarrels to the Government, his Doctrine struck at Propriety, and Order, the World was impaired with Diseases, which must be the more for their Age, the Crisis would be dangerous, and there could be no Health, no Soundness hoped for, till Names, Estates and Things were common. His Advise was to let the King know the Resolu­tions of the new Common-weaths-men, to tell him where the Supreme Power lies, whose Trustee he was, that another Course must be taken, and if he would not joyn with them, other Remedies thought of: The third time he was Imprisoned, he had his Revelations, his Enlight­nings, was full of Divine Raptures, Froiss. he foretold his Deliverance by 20000. Men, which happened in the following Tumults, when his Dis­ciples made so many Goal-Deliveries. This, know­ing what Numbers he had seduced and abused, he might presume upon probable Conjecture. He was no sooner loose, but he incites and stirs up the unruly Clowns to all the Mischiefs possible.

He tells them they were pious and necessary Excesses, and that the Law of Nature, which al­lows all Acts for our own Preservation, would justifie them: That a mad Father, who seeks to rob and destroy his Off-spring, might be resisted, his Thrusts might be put by, the Son might bind his Hands, and if there were no other way to es­cape his furious Violence, kill him in his own De­fence. The Safety of the People is the Supreme [Page 402] Law. If the Prince persisting (after fair War­ning) to make himself a Shield and Defence to wick­ed Instruments of Mischiefs, Malignants and Ene­mies of the Commons, securing them from the Iustice of the Commons, endanger himself and his Kingdom, he may thank himself; We (says he) are willing to hazard our selves (good Men) to preserve both; we will never give any Impediment, or neglect any pro­per Means of curing the Distempers of the Kingdom, and of closing the dangerous Breaches (made by them­selves) according to the Trust which lies upon us. At Black-heath, where an Assembly of 200000 Men made their Rendezvonz, after some time spent in seeking God, he baits in Rhime,

When Adam dalf and Ebe span,
Who was then a Gentleman?
Walsingh.

Was his levelling lewd Text: Hence it was to be consequent, that as Nature, and the Creation made no Distinction, no more ought Laws to make or suffer any; that Servitude is the▪ Daughter of un­just Oppression, introduced by wicked Men against Gods Will. That if it had pleased him to have created Slaves, in the Beginning he would have chosen, and marked out who should have been the Lord, who the Vassal; he asks where the Word allows these sweet things called Lords, verily Knaves in Purple, Sons of Cain, of Nimrod, of E­san, of Ishmael, fat by the Blood and Sweat of the poor innocent Plebeians, Honourable in nothing but the Outside, and Noble only in Riots and Adulte­ries, as cruel, as ravenous, as killing (and as bar­barously) as the Bears, the Lyons, the Tigers of [Page 403] their Escutch [...]ons, the Dragons of their Bearing; he asks why the limber Knights, and Franklins, who are only better combed, can kiss the Hand and lowt with more Grace, must eat the Capons, which the sturdy brave Commons must starve themselves to cram: Nothing could be good which was great, nothing but Independency was Divine.

He bids them consider, now was the time ap­pointed them by God to cast off the Yoak, that if they would not be wanting to themselves, they should assert their long-looked for Liberty, and like good Husbandmen, who love their Field, pluck up the Weeds which over-run it (which signified rooting out the Wicked, and those who carried the Mark of Deposito servitu­tis jugo, libertate, &c. Wals. more bo­ni patrisfamil. ex­colentis agrum su­um. the Beast (He points them out the Heads devoted, destined for Slaughter. Regni Majores. The House of Lords, the Peers (as yet they speak no higher) whom he would have brought to Repentance. Then the Lawyers, Justices, Judges, Jury­men, Quoscunque no­civos communita­tis de terra sua tollerent. all the Enemies of the Commonalty were to be swept from the Earth, there could not else (so he concludes) be any Peace or Security for the Future, Si sublatis Ma­joribus oequa li­bertas, &c. lopping off the Heads of those, which were too tall, which over-topped too much, equal Nobility, equal Liberty, Dignity and Pow­er (this was his old Doctrine) were the only An­tidotes, without which the poysoned Common­wealth must perish. Whosoever loved not the [Page 404] Cause was a Reprobate, hateful to God, and dam­ned Body and Soul. Iohn concludes with an Exhor­tation, that in Order to the Security and Preservation of Religion and Liberty of the Subject, they will never consent to the laying down of Arms, so long as the evil Counsellors and Prelates arming, or in open War, shall by Force of Arms be protected against the Iustice of the Commons. John adds, of long time there hath been, and now is a Traiterous Plot for the Subversion of us and the Liberty of the Subject.

No Wonder, when Peter the Hermits Goose was believed to be In the Crusade for the Holy Land. the Holy Ghost, that Iohn amongst as very Ninnyhammers could strike up for a Prophet.

The base Crew prick up their Ears, and won­der at the new Truths, which their Pastor held forth, they applaud him, he is Ut acclamarent eum Archiepisco­pum. Archbishop elect, and Chancel­lor, the true Arch-bishop must be called a Traitor, Communium & regni proditorem. a Traitor of the Commons and the Realm, to make him Room, is voted so, to be apprehended wheresoever he could be found in England, and his Head to be cut off.

Here was a new Treason, and a new Way of Tryal and Sentence. But though Baal had more of the Spirit, there were other Adventurers not to be robbed of their Honours, other Worthies, precious Men, called to do the Work of the Lord; who put to their Hands, and brought Trowels and Mortar toward the raising this Babel. Iack Straw, another Priest full of Life and Vigour, the Confessor, and Bosom-chaplain of Tyler, more inward with him, [Page 405] his special Councellor, acquainted with all his Plots, in the Contrivance of which he had a great part, bestowed his Pains upon the Cause, and for Action next Tyler the Idol carried the Name; which may be one Cause why Polydore kills him in Tylers stead, with the Mayors Sword, the most Eminent Stick­lers of the Laity, of the profane Stie, where Wat the Tyler, a Tyler by Trade, not by Name, his Name was Helier, an ungracious Patron, as Froi­ssart) was Wals. Rex ri­bald [...]rum, Idolum rusticorum. King of the Ribaulds, The Idol of the Kentish Clowns. Iohn Kirkby, Alan Treder, Thomas Scot, and Ralph Rugg, a Magnifico, who gave freely away amongst his Fellow Scoundrels the Spoils of his Conquests, were Princes of the Separation of the Tribes in Kent and Essex. Robert Westbrome (Wraw his Chaplain refusing to set Wals. Crown upon Crown, and con­tented to be the Arch-priest of the Province) was King of Suffolk, and the Parts adjacent. St. Edmunds-bury, once the Palace of the East-Angle Kings, and Milden-hall, were the Seats of his Soveraignty. Iohn Litstar a Tanner usurps the Name and Power of a King at North­walsham in Norfolk; I may say the Power and more, never was any English King so Absolute, nor can any just and legal Principality be so large, and Arbitrary; Law of the Land, with which the old Englishman was free enough, and contented, was here to be thrown out of Doors. The Heptarchy of the Saxons seemed to revive again, but prodigi­ously; the Blaze of these Comets must have been fatal to the Nation. To keep an Order in the History of these Ruffians, who abhorred it, I will [Page 406] give the Van to the Idol of the Clowns, it is due to him, he is the first who lists up his Head in the Confusion among the Brethren, and deserves the first Chair. He was the Dragon, and no question in the Conclusion, had swallowed up or clipped the rest; Litster Westbrome, and the others meri­ted highly, but they must have been taken down some Pins. Tyler must have Elbow-room, he must have been Lord Paramount, and one such Come [...] would have been more than enough for one Hori­zon. Besides, Kent and Essex were the Puddle, the Lerna which bred this Hydra with the many Heads, which poysoned most of the Counties, and in the Conjunction of these two Provinces, Tyler the Idol swayed all. And here I must observe this, that however Walsingham hatches the Cause in Essex, yet his own Relations of Baal, and the Let­ters and Sermons of this seducing Prophet, bring this into question, and by him if Kent be not the Mother, yet are the Treasons of her and Essex, Sister-twins of the same Birth, Essex only started first.

The Fire kindled from a small Spark. The Clowns of two Villages not named in the Chronicles contrive the Conspiracy there: They send War­rants to the smaller Towns about, and rather command than intreat, all Men of what Age soe­ver, without any Stay or Deliberation, to repair to a Rendezvouz set down. The Conclusion was terrible; It threatning plundering of Goods, Bur­ning, plucking down Houses, and cutting off the Heads of those who disobey the present Power.

The summoned Villages are frighted into Obedi­ence, which is to rebel; They leave their Ploughs, [Page 407] their Fields, their Wives and Farms, and in their first Rising no less than 5000 of the sink of the People meet ill armed, some with Staves, some with rusty Swords, some with Bows and featherless Arrows, few knowing any Cause of their assembling, gazing upon one another, and of not finding any Enemies of their own Peace and Good but Wals. themselves. Not one of a thousand was provided like a Souldier, but their Number supplyed all things, they were highly conceited of themselves, and believed they were invincible, not to be resist­ed. To confirm their Steps, Baal (watching to catch, who had long waited for such an Opportu­nity of Imbroiling) drives them Head-long for­ward, he writes to them his Letters exhortatory (where to consecrate the Enterprise, Gods Name is brought in; He is made to own the Cause) composed of a Jargon, a canting Gibridge, fit for the Design (to abuse and cheat the Innocent Pea­sant, who cannot pry into things, cannot look farther than the Bait) fuller of Riddles than Sense; one of them, found in the Sleeve of one of these wretched Men condemned, and under the Gallows, was this.

John Schep, sometimes St. Mary Priest in Yorkn and now of Colchester greeteth well John Nameless, and John the Miller, and John Carter, and biddeth them that they beware of Guile in Borough (which Stow by a notable Mistake calls Gillinborough) and stand together in Gods Name, and biddeth Pierse Plowman go to his Work, and chastise Hob the Robber, and take with you John Trewman, and all his Fel­lows and no moe, John the Miller that yground smal, smal, [Page 408] smal, The King's Sonne of Heaven shall pay for all. Beware or ye be woe; Know your Friend from your Foe. Have ynough, and say hoe. And do well and better, and flee Sinne and seek Peace, and hold therein; And so biddeth John Trewman and all his Fellows. A List of Sanctity does well in these Cases, but his seeking of Peace, chastising the Robber, and fleeing of Sinne, I must leave as mystical. This shews the Industry, Carefulness, and Vigilancy of the Pro­phet in his Preparations, and his Willingness to hurt. He disperseth other Letters of this kind, in one, he chargeth all Men in the Name of the Trini­ty, &c. to stand Manlike together, and help Truth (now we have Truth to our Peace) and Truth shall help them, in his Rags of Verses (for a Rhimer he would be) he is as earnest for Truth. They begin,

Iack Trewman doth you to understand
That Falsness, and Guile hath reigned too long.
And Truth hath been set under a Lock,
And Falsness reigneth in every Flock;
No Man may come truth to
But he must sing si dedero.

Many Remonstrances and Declarations flew abroad from him. The Kentishmen, seasoned by this Priest or Prophet of the Idol, are easily tempted by the Essexians to associate in the Undertakings, and share in the Honour of gaining Liberty, precious Liberty for the People, and taking away the evil Customs of the Kingdom; which is the Glorious Title of the Tumult. This was no more (says the Monk) than the Kentishmen had long wished [Page 409] for. They are quickly ready, and by the Arts used by those of Essex put all the Country into a Combustion. That they may not appear with too much Hor­ror Wals. at the first Sight, they would seem to pretend to an Outside Piety; they account (so they tell the Kingdom and the World) the professing of any thing in the sight of God, the strongest Obligation that any Christian, and the most solemn publick Faith, that any such State, as a Common-wealth can give. In all Humility and Reverence they contrive a Sacred Vow and Covenant.

They fasten the knot of their Holy League with National Covenants and Oaths, which themselves will first break (than which there can be no stron­ger tie; Religion consists in Faith, he who loses his Faith hath lost himself) Oaths contrary to their sworn Allegiance, and former Oaths, which is a most absurd Impiety; here God must be called upon to help, and witness the Perfidiousness. Oaths use to end—so help me God—He who performs not his Oath, directly and plainly, renounces God, and all that is Sacred and Divine: To swear to Day against what we were sworn to yesterday, must be strange amongst Christians; these Impieties being once allowed, there can be neither Peace, Society, nor Government amongst Men safe and unindan­gered. The Ways leading to Canterbury are beset, the Pilgrims swarming thither (according to the Superstition of those Ages) are seized, and forced to swear with these extraordinary Workers. To keep Faith to King Richard (whose most faithful Servants, most humble and Loyal Subjects, they profess themselves to be) and the Commons according to their [Page 410] Power and Vocation. To accept no King called Iohn (a Vanity thrown in for Duke Iohn of Lancasters Sake the Kings Uncle, and neglected by the Nor­folk Reformers, who advanced King Iohn Litstere to the Soveraignty) To be ready upon Summons to assist the Commons (the great Wheel of the New State, for whom this Oath was given, and to be principally respected by it.) To induce their Friends and Allies to hold with them, and to allow no Tax but the Fifteenth (which say they falsly was the only Tax their Forefathers ever heard of, or submitted to.) How Sacred in all the Parts this [...]th will be with them (which never was to be intended more than temporary) will soon be disco­vered: Diversity of Words cannot change the Na­ture of things. Their first March is to Canterbury, where they visit Froiss. Thomas of Canterbury who lived and dyed a Rebel to his Prince, and to use the Words of Rogerus a Norman, in Caesarius the Monk deserved Death and Damnation for Caesar Dial. l. 8. [...] 6. 9. this Contumacy against his King, the Minister of God, a fit Saint for such Votaries; their Kindness was not much, they spoil his Church, break up the Bish­ops Chamber, and make a Prey of all they find, pro­test the Bishop shall give them an Account of the Pro­fits of his Chancery; and here they begin their Audit.

Thus we see our New Reformers are entred, but Sa­criledge ushers them in, they break open the Prisons, and free the Saint in Bonds, Baal; when they had done what they came for, the Citizens, who had entertain'd them, willingly leave their Houses to keep them Company; a Council is called to re­solve upon what Ground the next Storm should [Page 411] pour down. London ever false to the Prince. The Wood, which no doubt would lodge the Wolves, is set by their Orders. Tyler the Idol who knew his Reign would last no longer, than while these Men continued mad, thought this the only place likely to keep them so; London too was the fairest Mark; and besides, the Clowns were assured of a Welcome upon a private Invitation from some of the Citizens, whose Ancestors and Predecessors in all Ages, in the Tumults of the Confessor S. Ed­wards Reign, in all the Barons Wars since, have gained the Renown to be Lovers of Reformation otherwise pure Rebellion, Enemies to Courtiers and Malignants, Enemies to the Enemies of their dear Liberties, which yet sometimes they pursue with too much Heat and blind Zeal, sometimes to their Cost and Repentance, mistaking every where both Notions and Things; the Bridles which they without Fear or Wit, provide for their Kings being often thrust into their own Mouths by the New Riders, which themselves lift into the Saddle, while they grown sober Mules, dare neither kick nor fling. Behold the common Peo­ple (says the Knight) when they be Froiss Wals. Lond. quibuscun (que) deest furia. &c. up against their Prince, and especially in England, among them there is no Re­medy for they are the perillousest People of the World, and most outrageous if they be up, and specially the Londo­ners; says the Monk, the Londoners never want Fury if they be not kept in, if License or Infolence be permitted them. The Princess Dowager of the incomparable Edward the black Prince, Mother of the young King, then at Canterbury, hardly es­capes these Savages, who rudely assault her Chair, [Page 412] and put her and her Ladies in no small Fear of [...] ­lany to be done to their Persons.

This Princess was so willing to be out of their reach, that notwithstanding she was very fat and unwieldy, she got to London in a Day. Tyler, who had insinuated himself into the good Grace of these Churls, by appearing the most stirring and active of the Kennel, who began and ruled the Cry, and was by I know not what Ceremony, perhaps like that Irish Election by casting an old Shoe over his Head, declared Prince of the Rabble, leads them to Rochester, which will not come behind Canterbury in Kindness. The People of the Town (says the Knight) were of the same Sect, it seems the Castle (once one of the strongest in the King­dom,) was now neither fortified nor manned, the Governour Sir Iohn Moton yields himself into their Hands; he was one of the Kings Family, of his Houshold, and must be thought awed, as he was into the Engagement. Here the Commons might be thought ashamed of their own Choice, they offer Sir Iohn the General's Staff▪ which had he accepted, he must have commanded according to the Motions of Lieutenant General Tylers Spirit, and when this turn had been over, at the least stamp of his Foot have vanished, sneaked off the Stage.

They tell him, Sir Iohn you must be our Captain, and (which shews the Power of Froiss. his Commission) you shall do what we will have you. The Knight likes not their Company, he trys his best Wit and Language to be rid, of them but could not prevail: They reply downright, Sir Iohn, if you will not doe what we will have you, you must dye for it; we will not be denyed, but at your Peril. E­nough [Page 413] was said, the Knight yields, but his Charge of Captain General is forgotten; we shall see here­after what Use they make of him, and in what manner he must be employed. This Example is followed in the other Countrys. The Gentry did not only lose their Estates, and Honour, but their Courage and Gallantry, their Bloods were frozen, Fear had stifled their Spirits. The Clowns (as the Knight) had brought them into such Obeysance, that they caused them to go with them, whether they would or not, they fawned on them, hum­bled themselves to them, like Dogs groveling at their Feet. The Lord Molines, Sir Stephen Hales, Sir Thomas Guysighen, this Sir Iohn Moton, and o­thers were Attendants and Vas­sals to the Idol. Every Day new Wals. qui censu­ram juris time­bant propter ma­lefacta, &c. Heaps of Men flock to them, like Catalines Troops, all that were ne­cessitous at Home, Unthrifts, broken Fellows, such as for their Misdeeds fea­red the Justice of the Laws; who resent the dange­rous and distracted State of the Kingdom alike; and will no doubt hammer out an Excellent Reformation, they will mend their own Con­dition, which will be enough, we must expect no more; and now the Confidence in their Strength made them bold enough to throw off their Mask of Hypocrisie, they began to open the Inside. They departed from Rochester (says Froissart) and passed the River (he says the Thames at Kingstone) and came to Brentford, (where I think he leads them out of their Way) beating down before them, and round about, the Places and Houses of Advocates, and Procurers, and striking off the Heads of di­verse [Page 414] Persons. Walsingham tells us, who those Advocates and Procurers were; All Men (says he) were amused, some looked for good from the new Masters, others feared this Insurrection would prove the Destruction of the Realm. The last were not deceived. All the Lawyers of the Land (so he goes on) as well the Apprentices, Coun­sellors, as old Justices, all the Jury-men of the Country, (this was Priest Baal's Charge) they could gripe in their Clutches had their Heads chop­ped off.

It was a Maxim of the Cabal, That there could be no Liberty, while any of these Men were suffer­ed to breath. From little to great they fell upon things which they never thought of in their first Overflow, which Guicciardine observes (in civil Discords, where the Rebellion is Fortunate and Mens Minds are puft up with Success) to be Ordi­nary. The Statue of Cumaean Apollo weeps for the Destruction of Cumae, we shall here read of Men without Sense or Apprehensions; both the Stories will seem as Incredible. The stupid Nobility and Gentry sleep in their Houses, till they are roused by these Blood-hounds, that they might seem to deserve the Calamity tumbling upon their Heads. They were becoming Tenants at Will, in Villei­nage, to their Vassals, under their Distress, their Task, and Taxes, more by the sottish Baseness of themselves, than any Vertue in these Rascals, scorned and sleighted by every tatter'd Clunch; Their Lands continually upon any Vote or Infor­mation to be sold, or given away upon any Infor­mation of Loyalty, or Faithfulness: The ancient Vertues of the Gentleman, not to be found in that [Page 415] Age, and serving only for a Pretence to Ruin, no one could form an Expectation of more than this, to be the last Man born, (what was Polyphemus his Kindness to Ulysses) to be devoured last; all which they were contented to hazard, and indure to pre­serve a Shred, or jagg of an incertain ragged Estate (for the Health or Mistresses Sake) subject ever to the Violence of the same lawless spoiling Force, which maimed and rent it before. Next (to re­turn to this Riffraff) their Cruelty reaches to Parchment Deeds, Charters, Rolls of Courts; E­vidences are cast by them into the Fire, as if they meant to abolish all Remembrance of things; this was to defeat their Lords in the Claims of any an­cient Rights; and to leave no Man more Title than themselves had to their Sword and Power.

The Kentish and Essexian Rout, were joyned (says the Monk, but Wals. he tells us not where) and approached near Lon­don; at Black-heath they made an Halt, where they were near 200000 strong.

Thither came two Knights sent by the King to them, to inquire Wals. the Cause of the Commotion, and why they had amassed such Swarms of the People. They an­swer, they met to conferr with the King concer­ning Business of Weight; they tell the Messengers they ought to go back to the King and shew him, that it behoves him to come to them, they would acquaint him with their Desires (we shall quickly discover why his Presence was required.) Upon Return of the Knights, it was debated in Council by the Lords about the King, whether he should go or no: Some of the Table more willing to [Page 416] venture the King than themselves, willing to throw him into the Gulph, or perhaps not senting the Design of the Clowns, perswade him to see them: Your Majesty (thus they) must make a Tryal of these Men, Necessity now must be looked on above Reason; if any thing can give the Check to the Uproars, it must be your Presence, there can be no Safety but in this Venture; it is now as dangerous to seem not to trust, as to be deceived; Fate is too much feared, if it be imagined that this Tree of your Empire, which has flourished so many Ages, can fall in an Hour.

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Simon Theobald of Sudbury, Lord Wals. Chancellor of England, the most Eloquent, most wise, and most pious Prelate of the Age, Faithful to his Prince, and therefore odious to those who conspired against his Majesty and Authority, likes not the Advice; the King ought not (says he▪) venture his Person among such Discaligatos ri­bauldos. hoseless Ribaulds, but rather dispose things so as to curb their Inso­lence: Sir, (says he) Your Sacred Majesty in this Storm ought to shew how much of a King you can play; what you will go for hereafter; by your present Carriage, you will either be feared for the Future, or contemned; if you seriously consider the Nature of these rough hewn Savages, you will find the gentle Ways pernicious, your Tameness will undoe you, Mercy will e­ver be in your Power, but it is not to be named without the Sword drawn; God and your Right hath placed you in your Throne, but your Courage and Resolution must keep you there; your Indignation will be Iustice; good Men will think it so, and if they love you, you have [Page 417] enough, you cannot capitulate, not treat with your Re­bels, without hazarding your Honour, and perhaps your Royal Faith; if you yield to the Force of one Sedi­tion, your whole Life and Reign will be nothing but a Continuation of Broils, and Tumults; if you assert your Soveraign Authority betimes, not only these Doults, these Sots, but all Men else will reverence you. Re­member Sir, God, by whom Lawful Princes Reign, whose Vicegerent you are, would not forgive Rebellion in Angels; you must not trust the Face. Petitions deli­vered you upon Swords Points are fatal; if you allow this Custom you are ruined; as yet Sir, you may be obeyed as much as you please. Of this Opinion was Sir Robert Hales, Lord Prior of Saint Iohn of Ierusalem, newly Lord Treasurer of England, a Magnani­mous and stout Knight, but not liked by the Com­mons. When this Resolution was known to the Clowns, they grow stark mad, they bluster, they swear to seek out the Kings Traitors, (for such they must now go for; no Man was either good or honest, but he who pleased them) the Arch-bishop and Lord Prior; and to chop off their Heads; here they might be trusted, they were like­ly to keep their Words.

Hereupon, without more Consideration they advance towards London, not forgetting to burn, and raze the Lawyers and Courtiers Houses in the Way, to the Kings Honour no doubt, which they will be thought to arm for. Sir Iohn Froissart, and others report this part thus, which probably might follow after this Refusal.

The Rebels, say they, sent their Knight (Grafton. so they called him, yet was he the Kings Knight, for Tyler came not [Page 418] up to Dubbing, we find no Sir Iohn, nor Sir Tho­mas of his making,) Sir Iohn Moton to the King, who was then in the Tower with his Mother, his half Brothers Thomas Holland Earl of Kent, after Duke of Surrey, and the Lord Holland, the Earls of Salisbury, Warwick, and Oxford, the Arch-bishop, Lord Prior and others. The Knight casts himself down at the Kings Feet, beseeches him, not to look upon him the worse as in this Quality and Imployment, to consider he is forced to do what he does: He goes on; Sir, the Commons of this Realm (those few in Arms comparatively to the rest would be taken for the whole) desire you by me to speak with them. Your Person will be safe, they repute you still their King (this deserved Thanks) but how long the Kindness will hold we shall soon find, they profess that all they had done or would do was for your Honour. For your Glory (your Honour and Security are their great Care) they will make you a Glorious King, fearful to your Enemies, and beloved of your Subjects; they promise you a plentiful and unparalell'd Revenue. They will maintain your Power and Authority in Relation to the Laws, with your Royal Person, according to the Duty of their Allegiance, their Protestation, their Vow, their solemn League and Covenant, without diminish­ing your just Power and Greatness, and that they will all the Days of their Lives continue in this Covenant against all Opposition. They assure you Sir, That they intend faithfully the Good of your Majesty, and of the Kingdom, and that they will not be diverted from this end by any private or Self-respects whatsoever. But the Kingdom has been a long time ill governed by your Uncles, and the Clergy; especially by [Page 419] the Arch-bishop of Canterbury, of whom they would have an Account. They have found out necessary Counsels for you; they would warn you of many things, which hitherto you have wanted good Advice in.

The Conclusion was sad on the Knights part. His Children were Pledges for his Return, and if he fail in that, their Lives were to answer it. Which moved with the King; he allows the Ex­cuse, sends him back with this Answer, that he will speak with the Commons the next Morning; which it should seem the report of the Outrages done by the Clowns upon his Refusal, and this Message made him consent to. At the time appointed he takes his Barge, and is rowed down to Redriffe, the place nearest the Rebels; Ten thousand of them des­cend from the Hill to see, and treat with him, (with a Resolution to yield to nothing, to over­come by the Treaty; as they must have done, had not the Kings Fear preserved him.) When the Barge drew nigh, the new Council of State (says our Knight) Froiss. howled, and shouted, as though all the Devils of Hell had been amongst them; Sir Iohn Moton was brought toward the River guarded, they being determined to have cut him in peices, if the King had broke his Promise.

All the Desires of these good and faithful Coun­sellors contracted suddenly into a narrow Room, they had now but one Demand. The King asks them, What is the matter which made them so ear­nestly sollicite his Presence? They have no more to say, but to intreat him to land; which was to betray himself to them, to give his Life and Sove­raignty [Page 420] up to those fickle Beasts, to be held of them during their good Pleasures; which the Lords will not agree to. The Earl of Salisbury, of the ancient Nobility, and Illustrious House of Montacute, tells them their Equipage and Order were not comely, and that the King ought not to adventure amongst their Troops. They are now more unsatisfied, and London how true soever to the Cause, and faithless to the Prince, shall feel the Effects of their Fury. Southwark a friendly Borough, is taken up for their first Quarters. Here again they throw down the Malignants Hou­ses, and as a Grace of their Entrance, break up the Kings Prisons, and let out all those they find under Restraint in them; not forgetting to ran­sack the Arch-bishops House at Lambeth, and spoil all things there—plucking down the Stews standing upon the Thames Bank, and allowed in the former Ages. It cannot be thought but that the Idol loved Adultery well enough, but perhaps these publick Bawdy-houses were too unclean, and might stink in his Nostrils; we cannot find him any where quarrelling with the Bears, those were no Malignants.

They knocked not long at the City-Gates, which (some say) Wals. were never shut against them, or (as others) quickly opened: The Citizens fancyed themselves Privy Counsellors born, inspired from their Shops for Affairs of State, and would not suppose the Reformation could be effected without them. They were rich by Lyes, and all the most sordid Ways of Falshood, and must be sage and knowing; Pride the first Sin the Devil taught Man tickles [Page 421] them. The Mayor Sir William Waleworth, whose Memory (while Truth and Loyalty shall be thought Vertues) must be Honourable, and nine of the Aldermen held for King Richard, in vain; a prosperous wicked Chief shall never want wick­ed Instruments; three Aldermen, and the greatest part of the People for the King of the Commons, the Idol, and his Priests. Those, the Considers, and well-affected to Tyler, forbid their Mayor to keep him out, own his Actions, as done for the Good of the faithful People of the Land, and the Common-wealth, and his Followers for their Bre­thren and Companions of the Holy Cause. They vow to live and dye with Tyler. Many of those who had no thoughts of doing Mischief (yet being none of the wisest) were cheated into a good Belief of them, because of their Protestation (which in their first Entrance they made solemnly) that they had no Intent, but this only, to search and hunt out the Traitors of the Kingdom, the Subverters of the fundamental Laws, evil Counsellors and Malig­nants, and that this done they would give over, they would disband, and return home the same Men they were, to their Farms and Cottages, without enriching themselves, without any other Harvest of their Labour; not doubting but that in the end, it should appear to all the World, that their Endeavours have been most hearty and sincere, for the Maintenance of Religion, the Kings just Prerogatives, the Laws and Liberties of the Land; in which Endea­vours, by the Grace of God, they would persist, though they should perish in the Work. Which was believed. What confirmed this Faith was, they made Theft Capital (which yet was confined, all without the [Page 422] Fold of the Godly were Aegyptians, and could not be robbed) and paid justly for what they had, but they paid not often, nor could their Reckon­ings be great.

The Citizens were their Purveyors, and made Provision for them; every House was open to them, and Tables continually furnished. Their Entry was on the 14th. of Iune, 1385. on Wednesday (a little before Midsummer) the Eve of Corpus Christi Day; they spend the Morning of the next Day, being the Festival, in Ringes, discoursing of the Piety, Honesty, and Fairness of their Cause, of Liberty and the Courses to gain it, Of seizing Traitors, Of bringing Incendiaries, Malignants, and evil Instruments to condign Punishment, Of the Duke Iohn of Lancaster, who was above all Men hated by them, but too far off for the Scratches of their Claws, being imployed in Scotland to treat a Peace there, whence these report him turned a Traytor to the King, and become Scottish: About Noon, being warmed more by their Cups, than with the Sun, for the richest Wines were drawn for them, and swallowed with that Greediness, that they were got to the height of Drunkenness and raved like Mad-men, they are for Execution; the Savoy of the Duke of Lancaster, a Princely Building, the most stately Fabrick of the Kingdom was fired by them, his Servants there murthered, his Plate and Jewels broke in pieces, a Coat of his of great Value (called in that Age a Jack) in Con­tempt and Scorn to this Prince, was stuck on the top of a Launce, made a Mark for their Arrows, then cut and gashed to Jaggs with their Hatchets; one of them who had hid a piece of Plate, was [Page 423] thrown by the rest into the Fire with it, crying out, We be zealous of Truth and Iustice, and not Thieves and Rob­bers. Knighton. The Londoners were here no slow Men, they knew themselves guilty of receiving, and that their Condition could be no worse; they might think too, it would be their shame for ever to be overdone in Mischief, nor were they here ex­ceeded.

The next fiery Shower is dischar­ged upon the Temple and Inns▪ of Wals. Court, or Colledges for Students of the Laws of the Nobler sort, but belonging to the Knights of Saint Iohn of Ierusalem, to whom the Possessions of the Knights Templers were given by this Kings Grandfather. Many Men lost there the Evidences of their Estates, many their Lives. From hence in Malice to the Lord Prior, they hasten to Clerkenwel, where they leave nothing of that Noble Palace of the Knights of S. Iohn of Ierusalem, but Rubbish, and Ashes, their Church too was consumed in the same wicked Flames. This House was seven days burning down. They break open the Exche­quer and rifle Westminster the same day. The Flem­mings or Dutch Strangers, who since the Iews were banished, suffer their part in every Sedition, are sought for all the Streets through, all of them massacred, no Sanctuary could save them; thirteen Flemmings were drawn out of the Church of the Friers Hermits of Saint Augustine, and beheaded in the Streets, and seventeen others pulled out of another parochial Church dye in the same manner. They had a Shibboleth to discover them, he who pronounced Brot and Cawse, for Bread and Cheese [Page 424] had his Head lopt off; it was their Sport if they could catch any Man, who had not sworn their Oath, was not of the side, or was hated by any of the Commons, to snatch off his Hood or Capuch (which was a part of the Cloak, or outward Garment worn then, and served to cover the Head) with the accustomed Cry, or yelling which they used in beheading and overthrowing Houses; then to rush into the Streets, and hack with their Fellow Jobernolls, at his Neck in Crowds, till the Head dropped down.

Our most Famous Chaucer flourishing then, in his Description of the terrible Fright and Noise, at the carrying away of Chanticlere the Cock by Rei­nold the Fox, reflects upon these Crys, but in an Hyperbole of his Poetical feigned ones, and much undervaluing the Horror of the Kentish Throats, as he will have it.

They yellen as Fiends do in Hell, At.
So hideous was the Noise, Ah benedicite!
Certes Iack-Straw ne his meney
Ne made Shouts half so [...]rill,
When they would any Fiemming kill.

The Lombards scaped better, they were only rob­bed of what they had, their Skins were left them whole. Wat the Idol had long agone in France ser­ved Richard Lyon a Merchant, and Lapidary, for­merly Sheriff of London, one of the wealthiest of the City, who had given him Blows; it was not fit this Injury should be forgotten, nor was it; it was a Score now, or never to be paid; he strikes off his old Masters Head, which in Triumph is car­ried before him on a Spear.

[Page 425] This Night the King was counselled to fall upon these Beasts, for the most part drunk, and cut their Throats, easie to be destroyed, if any Man had had but the Courage to overcome. It was the Gallant Mayors Advice, they lay on Heaps without Sense or Motion, tired with the Mischiefs of the Day, drunk and asleep, without Guards or Watch; the Earl of Salisbury and the Nobility, against whose Lives, Honours and Fortunes these Beasts had conspired, desire the King to try all fair and gentle Ways of appeasing them, which Counsel he approves. They were not so kind to them­selves, many lost their Lives by the Hands and Swords of their Companions; every petty discon­tent, or grudging, being enough to provoke them. Thirty two of them being drunk in a Cellar of the Savoy, were immured there, finding in the same place Death and the Grave together. Some of them threw Barrels of Gunpowder (which was little known then) into the Fire, and are blown up with part of the Palace.

Proclamations were formerly made in Tylers Name, not in Straws, (as Polydore would have it.) Straw was this while busied elsewhere. The Coun­try about was by these Proclamations summoned to repair to London with all speed, to spoil this Babylon; the close Menaces (lest they provoke Gods Iudgments) pluck them down upon their Heads; which themselves explain, if ye fail, if ye and your Officers give not Obedience freely to the Protector, we will send out 20000 Men (20000 of our Locusts) who shall burn the Towns of the Children of Dis­obedience. Those of S. Albans and Barnet (whose Famous Deeds challenge a place in this Story by [Page 426] themselves) struck with the Thunder of this E­dict, haste to London; in their Journey thither, at Heibury, a Wals. retiring House of the Lord Prior of S. Iohn near Istington, they find 20000. or thereabouts, casting down the firmer parts of the House, which the Fire could not consume.

Iack Straw Captain of this Herd, calls these new Comers to Richard. him, and forces them to swear to adhere to King Richard, and the Commons. How long this Oath will be sworn to we shall see, and how much the safer the King will be for it.

We shall see too what is lost by this new Union of King and Commons, by the new Fellowship to observe the horrible Irreligious Hypocrisie of these Clowns, who only would be thought the Protectors of his Crown and Person. They alone had decreed his Ruin, who swear thus often to prevent it, to guard him from it; A Treason not to be believed by some then, till it had taken. The Commons were then divided into three Bodies, this with Iack Straw, the second at Mile-end under the Essexian Princes, Kirkby, Treder, Scot, and Rugge, the third on Tower-hill, where the Idol, and Priest Baal were in Chief.

This last Crue grew horribly rude, and haugh­ty; the Commons there were not contented to be the Kings Tasters and no more, they snatch the Kings Provision violently from the Purveyors, he is to be starved for his own Good, and after Har­pies or Vultures, chuse you whether, strike high, like brave Birds of Prey they will kill no more Flies; this was the Way to secure their smaller [Page 427] Mischiefs. Polydores conceit that the Arch-bishop and Lord Prior of S. Iohn, were sent out by the King to allay their Heat, is not probable.

Walsingham relates it thus, that they demanded these two (with full Crys no doubt of Iustice, Iustice) with some others Traitors by their Law, (a Fundamental, never to be found or heard of be­fore) to be given up to them by the King with all the Earnestness, and Violence imaginable.

They give him his Choice, bid him consider of it, they will either have the Blood of these their Traitors or Wals. alias sciret semetipsum vita privandum. his; they making all those De­linquents who attended on him, or executed his lawful Commands; whom say they, the King with a high and forcible Hand protects, will not be appeased unless they be delivered up; con­juring him to be wise in time, and dismiss his extra­ordinary Guards, his Cavaliers, and others of that Quality, who seem to have little Interest, or Affection to the publick Good. Whether the Tower Doors flew open at this Fright, or the Man-wolfs crow­ded in, at the Kings going out to appease the Party at Mile-end, as Sir Iohn Froissart tells it, Wat the Idol with Priest Baal are now Masters of the Tower, into which on Fryday the 16th. of Iune they entred, not many more than 400 of their Company guarding them, where then were commanded six hundred of the Kings Men of Arms, and six hundred Archers, a Guard not so extraor­dinary as was necessary then, all so faint-hearted, so unmanned at the Apparition, at the sight of these Goblins, they stood like the Stones of Me­dusa, remembred not themselves, their Honour, [Page 428] nor what they had been. The Clowns the most Abject of them singly with their Clubs, or Cud­gels in their Hands, venture into all the Rooms, into the Kings Bedchamber, (which perhaps had been his Scaffold had he been there) sit, lie, and tumble upon his Bed, they press into his Mothers Chamber, where some of the merry wanton De­vils offer to kiss her, others give her Blows, break her Head. She swoons, and is carried pri­vately to the Wardrobe by her Servants. Some revile and threaten the Noblest Knights of the Houshold, some stroke their Beards with their unclean Hands (which beyond the Roman Patience in the same Rudeness from the Gauls is endured) and this to claw, and sweeten (they meant it so) they gloss, with smooth Words, and bespeak a lasting Friendship for the time to come; they must maintain the Injuries done to themselves; must not disturb the Usurpers of their Estates and Rights; must not shew any Sense of Generosity, of Faith, of Honour, (it concerned Tyler that they should be the veriest Fools and Cowards breathing) if they stir, make any Claims, they shall be reputed Seditious, Turbulent, and Breakers of the Publick (otherwise and plainly) Tylers Peace. It was ne­ver heard (says the Emperor Charles in Sleydan) that it should be lawful to despoil any Man of his Estates and Rights, and unlawful to restore him▪ Our Tyler and his Anabaptists thought other­wise.

As Walsingham, they went in and out like Lords, who were Varlets of the lowest Rank, and those who were not Cowherds to Knights, but to Bores, value themselves beyond Knights. Here was a [Page 429] Hotchpotch of the Rabble, a mechanick sordid State, composed as those under Kettes Oak of Re­formation, after,

Of Country gnooffes, Hob, Dick, and Hick, with Clubs, and Nevilli kettus. clouted woon.

A medley or huddle of Botchers, Coblers, Tinkers, Draymen, of Apron-men and Plough-joggers, domineering in the Kings Palace, and rooting up the Plants and wholesome Flowers of his Kingdom in it. This place was now a vile and nasty Stye, no more a Kings Palace, who will value a stately Pile of Building, of Honourable Title, or Antique Memory, since Constantine, when it is infected with the Plague, haunted by Goblins, or possessed by Thieves. The Knights of the Court, were but Knights of the Carpet or Hangings. No Man seemed discontented, all was husht and still. White-hall was then a Bishops Palace. The Tower was to be prepared for Tylers Highness, and his Officers but the Cement of the Stratocracy of the Government by Sword, and Club Law, could not be well tempered with vulgar Blood; a Servant of the Arch-Bishops (who had trusted himself to these Guards and Walls) is forced to betray his Lord. He brings them into the Chappel, where the Holy Prelate was at his Prayers, where he had celebrated Mass that Morning before the King, and taken the Sacred Com­munion; where he had spent the Wals. Sacram Communionem. whole Night in watching and De­votion, as presaging what followed.

[Page 430] He was a Valiant Man and Pious, and expected these Blood-hounds with great Security and Calm­ness of Mind; when their bellowing first struck his Ears, he tells his Servants that Death came now as a more particular Blessing; where the Comforts of Life were taken away, that Life was irksome to him, (perhaps his pious Fears for the Church and Monarchy, both alike indangered, and fatally tied to the same Chain, might make him weary of the World) and that he could now dye with more quiet of Conscience than ever; a Quiet which these Parricides will not find, when they shall pay the Score of this and their other Crimes. However the Flattery of Success may abuse, our Death-bed represents things in their own Shape, and as they are: After this the Rout of Wolves enter pro­phanely roaring, where is the Traitor, where is the Robber of the Common People? He answers, not troubled at what he saw or heard,

Ye are welcome, my Sons. I am the Arch-Bishop whom you seek, neither Traitor nor Robber. Pre­sently these Limbs of the Devil griping him with their wicked Clutches, tear him out of the Chap­pel, neither reverencing the Altar, nor Crucifix figured on the top of his Crosier, nor the Host, (these are the Monks Observations, for which he condemns them in the highest Impiety, and makes them worse than Devils, and as Religion went then, well he might condemn them so.) They drag him by the Arms and Hood to Tower Hill without the Gates, there they howl hideously, which was the Sign of a Mischief to follow.

He asks them what it is they purpose? what is his Offence? tells them he is their Arch-Bishop (this [Page 431] makes him guilty, all his Eloquence, his Wisdom are now of no Use) he adds the Murder of their Soveraign Pastor will be severely punished, some notorious Venge­ance Qui pastor, &c. will suddenly follow it. These Destroyers will not trouble themselves with the idle Formality of a Mock-trial or Court of their own erecting; an abominable Ceremony, which had made their Im­piety more ugly; they proceed down-right and plainly, which must be instead of all things. He is commanded to lay his Neck upon the Block, as a false Traitor to the Commonalty and Realm: To deal roundly, his Life was forfeited, and any par­ticular Charge, or Defence would not be necessary, his Enemies were his Accusers, and Judges, (his Enemies who had combined and sworn to abolish his Order, the Church, and spoil the Sacred Pa­trimony) and what Innocency, what Defence could save? Without any Reply farther, he for­gives the Headsman, and bows his Body to the Axe.

After the first hit, he touches the Wound with his Hand and speaks thus, It is the Hand of the Lord. The next Ah, ah, manus Domini. Stroke falls upon his Hand, e'er he could remove it, cuts off the tops of his Fin­gers, after which he fell, but dyed not till the eighth Blow; his Body lay all that day unburied, and no Wonder, all Men were throughly Scared, under the Tyranny of these Monsters, all Huma­nity, all Piety were most unsafe.

The Arch-bishop dyed a Martyr of Loyalty to his King, and has his Wals. Miracles recorded, an Honour often be­stowed [Page 432] by Monks (Friends of Regicide, and Regici­des,) on Traitors, seldom given to honest Men. In his Epitaph (his riming Epitaph, where is shewn the pittiful ignorant Rudeness of those times) he goes for no less, he speaks thus:

Sudburiae natus Simon jacet hic tumulatus,
Martyrizatus nece pro republica stratus.

Sudburies Simon here intombed lies,
Who for the Common-wealth a Martyr dies.

It is fit (says Plato) that he who would appear a just Man, become Naked, that his Vertue be dis­poiled of all Ornament, that be he taken for a wicked Man by others (wicked indeed) that he be mock­ed, and hanged. The wisest of Men tell us, Eccles 7. 15. There is a Just Man that perisheth in his Righteousness, and there is a wicked Man that prolongeth his Life in his Wickedness. The Seas are often calm to Pirates, and the Scourges of God, the Executioners of his Fury, the Goths, Hunns and Vandals heretofore, Tar­tars and Turks now, how happy are their Robberies, how do all things succeed with them beyond their Wishes! Our Saviours Passion, the great Mystery of his Incarnation lost him to the Iews his Murtherers. Whereupon Grotius notes, it is often permitted by God, that pious Men Grot. Saepe à deo permitti, ut pii ab impiis non vexentur modo, sed interfician­tur. be not only vexed by wicked Men, but murdered too—He gives Examples in Abel, Isaiah, and o­thers; the MESSIAH dyed for the Sins of the World, Ethelbert and Saint Edmund the [Page 433] East-Angles, Saint Oswald the Northumbrian, Edward the Monarch, &c. Saxon Kings, are Ex­amples at Home.

Thucidides in his Narration of the Defeat and Death of Nician the Athenian in Sicily, speaks thus: Being the Man of all the Grecians of my Time, had least deserved to be brought to so great a Degree of Mi­sery. It is too frequent to proclaim Gods Judg­ments in the Misfortunes of others, as if we were of the Celestial Council, had seen all the Wheels, or Orbs, upon which Providence turns, and knew all the Reasons and Ends which direct and govern its Motions: Men love by a strange Abstraction to seperate Facts from their Crimes; where the Fact is Beneficial, the Advantage must canonize it, it must be of Heavenly Off-spring, a Way to justifie Cain, Abimelech, Phocas, our Third Richard, Ravilliac, every lucky Parricide whatsoever.

Alexander Severus that most excellent Emperor, assassinated by the Militia or Souldiery, by an ill Fate of the Common-wealth (for Maximinus a Thracian or Goth, Lieutenant General of the Army, a cruel Savage Tyrant, by Force usurped the Em­pire after him) replyed, to one who pretended to foretell his End; That it troubled aim not, the most Renowned Persons in all Ages dye vio­lently. This Gallant Prince condemned no Death, but a dishonest fearful one. Heaven it self decla­red on the Arch-bishops side, and cleared his Ino­cency. Starling of Essex, who challenged to him­self the Glory of being Headsman, fell mad sud­denly after, ran through the Villages with his Sword hanging naked upon his Breast, and his Dagger naked behind him, came up to London, [Page 434] confest freely the Fact and lost his Head there; As most of those did, who had laid their Hands upon this Arch-bishop, coming up severally out of their Countrys to that City, and constantly ac­cusing themselves for the Parricide of their spiritu­al Father. Nothing was now unlawful, there could be no Wickedness after this; they make more Examples of barbarous Cruelty under the Name of Justice.

Robert Lord Prior of St. Iohn, and Lord Trea­surer of England, Iohn Leg, or Laige one of the Kings Sergeants at Arms, a Franciscan, a Physici­an belonging to the Duke of Lancaster (whom per­haps they hated, because they had wronged his Master) a Friar Carmelite, the Kings Confesso [...] were murdered there in this Fury. Whose Heads with the Arch-bishops, were born before them through London Streets, and advanced over the Bridge.

This while the King was softning the Rebel [...] of Essex at Mile-end, with the Earls of Salisbury, Warwick, and Oxford, and other Lords. Thither by Proclamation he had summoned them, as pre­su [...]ing the Essexians to be more civilized, and by much the fairer Enemies, as indeed they were. There he promises to grant them their Desires. Liberty, precious Liberty, is the thing they ask, this is given them by the King, but on Condition o [...] good Behaviour. They are to cease their Bur­ning, and Destruction of Houses, to return quiet­ly to their Homes, and offend no Man in their Way. Two of every Village were to stay as A­gents behind for the Kings Charters, which could not be got ready in time. Farther the King offer [...] them his Banners.

[Page 435] Some of them were simple, ho­nest People, of no ill Meaning, Froiss. who knew not why the Garboils were begun; nor why they came thither. These were won, and win others; without more Stir those of Essex return whence they came. Tyler and Baal are of another Spirit, they would not part so easily; Ty­ler the future Monarch, who had designed an Em­pire for himself, and was now, sceleribus fuit ferox atque praeclarus, famous for his Villainies and haugh­ty, would not put up so, he and his Kentish Rab­ble tarry. The next day being Saturday the 17th. of Iune, was spent as the other Days of their Tyranny, in Burning, ruining Houses, Murthers, and Depopulations.

The Night of this Day the Idol and his Priest upon a new Resolution, intended to have struck at the Neck of the Nation, to have murthered the King (the Achan of the Tribes) probably by Beheading, the Death these Parricides had used hi­therto, the Lords, Gentlemen, the wealthiest and honestest part of the Citizens; then to have pil­laged their Houses, and fired the City in four parts; they intended this haste to avoid odious Partnership in the Exploit, and that those of Nor­folk, Suffolk, and other parts might not share in the Spoil. This Counsel of Destruction was a­gainst all Policy, more Profit might have been made of this City by Excise, Assessment, and Tax­es upon the Trade; Tyler might sooner have enrich­ed himself, and have been as secure. Estates make Men lofty; Fear and Poverty, if we may trust Machiavel, bend and supple; every Man had been in Danger, and obnoxious to him, one Clown had [Page 436] awed a Street. Near the Abby-Church at West­minster, was a Chappel with an Image of the Vir­gin Mary: this Chappel was called the Chappel of our Lady, in the [...]iew it stood, near the Chappel of S. Stephen; since turned from a Chappel to the Parliament House, here our Lady then (who would not believe it) did great Miracles. Ri­chards Preservation at this time was no small one, being in the Hands of the Multitude, let loose, and enraged. There he makes his Vows of Safety; after which he rides towards these Sons of Perditi­on under the Idol Tyler.

Tyler, who meant to consume the Day in Cavils, protests to those who were sent by the King, to offer those of Kent the same Peace, which the Essex Clowns had accepted, that he would willingly embrace a good and honest Peace, but the Proposi­tions or Articles of it were only to be dictated by himself. He is not satisfied with the Kings Char­ters. Three Draughts are presented to him, no Substance, no Form would please; he desires an Accommodation, but he will have Peace, and Truth together. He exclaims that the Liberty there is deceitful, but an empty Name; that while the King talks of Liberty, he is actually levying War, setting up his Standard against his Commons; that the good Commons are abused to their own Ruin, and to the Miscarriage of the great Undertaking; that they have with infinite Pains and Labour ac­quainted the King with their humble Desires, who refuses to joyn with them, misled and carried away by a few evil and rotten-hearted Lords and Delin­quents, contrary to his Coronation Oath; by which he is obliged to pass all Laws offered him by the Com­mons

[Page 437] (whose the Legislative Power is) which Denyal of his, if it be not a Forfeiture of his Trust and Office (both which are now useless) it comes near it, and he is fairly dealt with, if he be not deposed, which too might be done without any Want of Modesty or Duty, and with the Good of the Common-wealth, the Happiness of the Nation not depending on him, or any of the Regal Branches I will deliver the Nation from the Norman Slavery, and the World (says he) of an old silly Superstition, That Kings are only the Te­nants of Heaven, obnoxious to God alone, cannot be condemned and punished by any Power else. I will make (here he lyed not) an wholesome President to the World, formidable to all Tyrannies. I declare, That Richard Plantagenet, or Richard of Bourdeaux, at this time is not in a Condition to govern, I will make no Addresses no Application to him, nor receive any from him; though I am but a dry Bone, too unwor­thy for this great Calling, yet I will finish the Work, I will settle the Government without the King, and against him, and against all that take part with him, which sufficiently justifies our Arms, God with Us, says he, owns them, Success manifests the Righteousness of our Cause, this is (says he) the Voice of the People, by us their Representative, and our Counsel. After the Vote of no more Addresses, which with all their other Votes of Treason were to be styled the Resolution of the whole Realm; and while he swells in this Ruffle, Sir Iohn Newton a Knight of the Court, is sent to intreat rather than to invite him to come to the King, then in Smith­field; where the Idols Regiments were drawn up, and treat with him, concerning the additional Pro­visions he desired to be inserted into the Charter.

[Page 438] No Observance was omitted which might be thought pleasing to his Pride (which Pride was in­finitely puffing.) Flattery was sweet to him, and he had enough of it, that made him bow a little, when nothing else could do it. We may judge at the Unreasonableness of his Demands, and Supplys of new Articles out of his Instrument, by one: He required of the King a Commission to impower himself, and a Committee Team of his own choosing, to cut off the Heads of Lawyers and Escheators, and of all those, who by Reason of their Know­ledge and Place, were any way imployed in the Law. He fancied if those who were learned in the Law, were knocked i'th'Head, all things would be ordered by the Common People; either there would be no Law, or that which was should be declared by him and his, subject to their Will, with which his Expression the day before did well agree. Then, attributing all things to God (the God of War) and his conquering Arms, and stri­king his Sword (which shewed the present Power) on London-stone,

The Cyclops, or Centaur of Kent spoke these Words: From Walsingh. this Day (or within four Days) all Law (or all the Laws of England, as others) shall fall from Wat Tylers Mouth▪ The Kings indeed had bound themselves, and were bound by the Laws. They were named in them. Tyler was more than a King, he was an Emperor, he was above the Laws; nor was it fit the old over-worn Magna Charta should hold him. The Supreme Authority and Legislative Power (no one knows how derived) were to be, and re­side in him, according to the new Establishment. Tyler [Page 439] like Homers Mars [...] was a Whirl wind [...] he was Potius gladia­tor quam sena­tor. Egnatius in Paterculus ra­ther a Fencer, a Swash-Buckler that a Senator; his right Arm, his brutish Force, not Justice, not Reason must sway all things. Tyler will not rule in Fetters, his Will, his Violence shall be cal­led Law, and grievous Slavery under that Will, falsly Peace. Had those, whom no Government never so sweet, and gracious will please, unless the Supreme Power be given the People, seen the Confusion and Dangers, the Cruelty and Tyranny of these few days, they would quickly have chan­ged this Opinion.

The Knight performs his Embassy, he urges the Idol with great Earnestness to see the King, and speedily. He answers, if thou must be so much for Haste, get thee back to the King thy Master I will come when I list, yet he follows the Knight on Horse-back, but slowly. In the Way, he is met by a Citizen, who had brought sixty Doub­lets for the Commons, upon the publick Faith. This Citizen asks him for his Money; he promises Pay­ment before Night, and presses on so near the King that his Horse touched the Croup of the Kings Horse.

Froissart reports his Discourse to the King: Sir King (says the Idol) seest thou yonder People? The King answers, Yes, and asks him what he means by the Question? He replys they are all at my Command, have sworn to me Faith, and Truth, to do what I will have them. He and they had broke their Faith and Truth to their Prince, and he thinks these Men will be true to him. Here [Page 440] though it be a Digression too much, I cannot omit a passage of the late Civil Wars of France, begun and continued by the Iesuiced Party to extirpate the Royal Fa­mily D'Avila. there.

Villers Governour of Roüen for the Holy League, tells the Duke of Mayen, Captain General of the Re­bellion, That he would not obey him; they were both Companions and Spoilers of the State toge­ther: The King being levelled, all Men else ought to be equal.

The Idol, as he that demanded (so the Knight) nothing but Riot, continues his Discourse (thus:) Believest thou King, that these People will depart without thy Letters? The King tells him, He means fairly, that he will make good his Word, his Letters are near finished, and they shall have them. But the Glory of the Idol (which was meerly the Benefit of Fortune) began to fade, his Principality was too cruel, too violent to be lasting. Vengeance here hovered over his Head, and he who had been the Destruction of Multitudes hastens, nay precipitates his own Fate, and ruins himself by his own Fury; he puts himself into the Kings Power, who should in his first towring, had he been wisely wicked, like a Vulture of the Game, have flown at his Throat. In magnis prin­cipium injuriis non incipitur ut desistatur. The judicious Politick will not begin to give over; However will ne­ver venture himself in the Princes Hands, whom he has justly offen­ded by Treasons against his Government.

[Page 441] Grand folie Com. Charles of Burgundy confesses this to be a great Folly; his Grandfather Philip lost his Life at Montereau upon the Yonne by it, and our Idol shall not escape better.

Sir Iohn Newton, the Knight imployed to fetch him, delivered his Message on Horseback, which is now remembred, and taken for an high Neglect; besides it seemeth the Carriage and Words of the Knight were not very pleasing. Every Trifle in Omission was Treason to the Idols Person, and new State. He rails foully, draws his Dagger, and bellowing out, Traitor, menaces to strike the Knight, who returns him in Exchange the Lye; and not to be behind in Blows, draws his: This the Idol takes for an intolerable Affront, but the King fearful of his Servant, cools and asswages the Heat; he commands the Knight to dismount, and offer up his Dagger to the Idol, which (though unwillingly) was done.

This would not take off his Edge: The Prince who yields once to a Rebel, shall find Heaps of Requests, and must deny nothing. The King had given away his Knights Dagger: Now nothing will content Tyler but the Kings Sword, with which the Militia or Power of Arms impliedly was sought. This he asks, then again rushes up­on the Knight, vowing never to eat till he have his Head.

When the Nobility and Gentry of the King­dom, whom neither Necessity nor Misery could animate, lye down trampled on by these Villaines without Soul, or Motion; in comes the Mayor of London, Sir William Walworth, the everlasting [Page 442] Honour of the Nation, a Man who over did Ages of the Roman Scaevolae, or Curtii in an Hours Action and snatches the King and Kingdom out of these Flames. He tells the King, it would be a Shame to all Posterity, to suffer more Insolences from this Hangman, this Lump of Blood. This the rest of the Courtiers now wakened by their own Danger, (for he who destroys one Man contrary to Law or Justice, gives all Men else Reason to fear them­selves and take heed) are Ecchoes to. This puts Daring into the young King; he resolves to hazard all upon this Chance: This Way he could not but dye Kingly, at least, like a Gentleman, with the Sword, which God (of whose great Majesty he was a Beam) gave him in his Hand. The only Way left to avoid a shameful Death, was to run the Danger of a brave One, and a wise Coward (I will not say an Honourable One) considering the Incertainty of things under that Iron Socage Tenure, would think so.

The King commands the Mayor to arrest the Butcher: This was Charge enough, and rightly understood; indeed there was then no time for Form nor Tryal, the Suspension of the Courts was Tylers Act, his Grot. Iur. Bell. v. l. 1. c. 4. Crime, and he ought not to look for any Advantage from it: An Historian says, the Duke of Guyse's Power was so much, that the Ordi­nary Forms of Justice could not be observed; fair Law is handsome, but it is not to be given to Wolves and Tygers. Tyler was a Traitor, a com­mon Enemy; and against such (says a Father long agone) every Man is a Souldier; whosoever struck too, struck as much in his own Defence, [Page 443] in his own Preservation, as the King's: And the Safety of the King and People, made this Course [...]ecessary; besides, Tylers Crimes were publick and notorious.

The generous Lord Mayor obeys the Sentence, which was given by the same Power, by which the Judges of Courts sat and acted, when Justice flowed down from the Fountain in the ordinary Channel, and which the Damm Head being thus troubled by this Wolf, could flow no otherwise, which was Authority sufficient; by this Power Richards Captains must fight when he has them, and kill those whom the Courts of Justice cannot deal with: Tyler faints and shrinks to what he had been, he was as cowardly as cruel, and could not seem a Man in any thing but that he was a Thief, and a Rebel: He asks the brave Mayor in what he was offendedly him? This was a strange Question to an honest Man; he finds it so. The Mayor (says Froissart) calls him false stinking Knave, and tells him he shall not speak such Words in the Presence of his natural Lord the King. The Mayor answers in full upon the accursed Sacrilegious Head of the Idol with his Sword. He struck heartily, and like a faithful zealous Subject. Dagon of the Clowns sinks at his Feet. The Kings Followers inviron him round, Iohn Standish an Esquire of the Court, alights, and runs him into the Belly, which thrust sent him into another World, to ac­company him who taught Rebellion, and Mur­der first. Event was then no Sign of a good Cause.

All History now brands him for a Traitor, which by some will be attributed to his Miscarri­age: [Page 444] without Doubt had he prospered in the Work, he had had all the Honours which goe along with Prosperity. The King had been the wrong Doer, and his Ut reus sit vin­cendus. est. Afflictions, if nothing in so much Youth could have been found out, had been Crimes; we must over-power those whom we would make guilty. Henry the Great of France under the Popes Interdict, is told by a Gentleman, Sir, if we be overcome, we shall dyne condemned Hereticks; if your Majesty conquer, the Censures shall be re­voked, they will fall of themselves. He who reads the Mischiefs of his Usurpation, will think he perished too late.

Now I come to an Act of Richards the most glo­rious of his History, which the Annals past can no where parallel; here his Infancy excells his after Man-hood. Here, and in the Gallantry of his Death, he appears a full Prince, and perhaps vies with all the Bays of his Usurpers Triumphs.

Alexander the Monarch of the World, (not more wondered at for his Victories, than for that suppressing the Sedition of his Macedons in Asia, ti­red, and unable to march, whither his Ambition carried him on Wings) leaps from his Throne of State, into the Battels of his Phalanges enraged, seizes Thirteen of the Chief Malecontents, and de­livers them to the Custody of his Guards. Curtius knows not what he should impute this Amazement of the Seditious to, every Man returning upon it to his old Duty, and Obedience, and ready to yield himself up into the same Hands: It might be (says he) the Veneration of the Majesty of Lib. Kings which the Nations submitted under, Worship [Page 445] equally with the Gods, or of himself which laid the Tempest. That Confidence too of the Duke Alessandro of Parma, in a Mutiny of the German Ruiters at Namurs is memorable, who made his Way with his Sword alone through the Points of all their Lances, into the middest of their Troops, and brought thence by the Collar one of the Mutineers, whom he commanded to be hang'd to the Terror of the rest. The Youth of Richard begat rather Contempt, than Reverence, of which too these Clowns Breasts were never very full: When the Fall of the Idol was known to the Rout, they put themselves into a Posture of Defence, thunder out nothing but Vengeance to the King and his, whom they now arraign of Murder and Tyranny: He is guilty of Innocent Blood, a Tyrant, a Traitor, an Homicide, the publick Enemy of the Common-wealth Richard Plantagenet is indicted in the Name of the People of England of Treason; and other heinous Crimes. He is now become less than Ty­lers Ghost, a Traitor to the Free-born Peo­ple.

His Treason was, he would not destroy himself, he would not open his Body to Tylers full Blow. They roar out, our Captain Gene­ral is slain treacherously, let us Walsingh. Capi­taneus noster. stand to it and revenge his preci­ous Blood, or dye with him: I cannot pass this place without some little Wonder; had these Ruffians (with whom Kings hedged about by Ho­ly Scripture, and Laws Humane, are neither Di­vine nor Sacred) been asked whether Tyler the I­dol, of their own Clay and Hands, might have been tryed, touched or struck, according to their [Page 446] resenting this Blow here: Let his Tyrannies, his Exorbitances have been what they would, they would have answer'd no doubt in the Negative: Though Richard might have been struck thorough and thorough, Tyler who had usurped his Power, must have been Sacred, it must have been Treason to touch him: Phocas must not be hurt: In Tylers Case Straw would allow the old Text again: The Powers were to be obeyed. Their Bows were drawn when the King gallops up to them alonae, and riding round the Throng asks them, what Madness it was that armed them thus against their own Peace, and his Life, whether they would have no end of Things or Demands.

He tells them, If Liberty be their only Aim, as hitherto they have pretended, they may assure themselves of it, and that it is an extreme Folly to seek to make that our own with the Breach of Faith, of Laws, with Impieties, violating God and Man, which we may come by fairly. But they trod not the Path to Liberty; that where eve­ry Man commands, no Man can be free; the Li­berty too they fancy cannot be had, the World can­not subsist without Order and Subjection, Men can­not be freed from Laws: If they were, there could be no Society, no Civility any where; Men must be shunned as much as Wolves or Bears, Ra­pine and Blood-shed would over-run the World; the Spoyler must fear the next Comer, like savage Beasts, who hurt others, and know not it is ill to hurt them. Men would devour Men, the stron­ger Thief would swallow up the rest; No Rela­tions would be Sacred, where every Man has the Power of the Sword; the aged Sire (could there [Page 447] be any such) must defend his silver Hairs from the unnatural Violence of his own Sons.

He adds, if there can be any just Cause of Sediti­on, yet is the Sedition unjust which outlasts it, which continues, when the Cause is yielded to, and taken away; that if his Prerogative has been sometimes grievous, his Taxes heavy, and any of those they call evil Counsellors faulty, they ought to remember, in their first Risings, and all along in all their Oaths, and Covenants, they swore conti­nually not to invade the Monarchy, nor touch the Rights of his free Crown. You ought to remember your own Remonstrances; you once declared, that you acknowlegded the Maxim of the Law, The King can doe no wrong; if any ill be committed in Matters of State, the Counsellors; if in Matters of Law, the Iudges must answer for it—My Person was not to be violated. He expects they should deal with him, as the honest Husbandman does in Overflows of Waters, who clears and drains his Ground, repairs the Banks, but does not usurp upon the Stream, does not inhance within the Channel; and farther, that quarrels to his Govern­ment and Laws are unreasonable from those, who out of Ambition arm to overthrow both; that Reformation is not the Work of Sedition, which ever disorders what is well setled. He conjures them to forsake these Furies, who, says he, abuse their Lightness meerly for their own Ends, whose Companions and Masters they were lately, now are they but their Guards; and that if they refuse a Subjection according to all Laws Divine and Hu­mane to his Scepter, they must become Slaves and Tributaries to their Iron, to the Flails and Pitch-forks [Page 448] of some Mushroom of their own Dirt, and that advancing their Mushroom, thus upon his Power by the Ways of Force, gives an Example to the next Tumults against themselves.

There can be no Safety for any new Power raised upon this Force; Non est diutur­na possessio in quam gladio in­duciamur. Curt. the Obedience to that upon these Rules being limited, and annexed to the Force, and Success, and to yield and give Way to the next Power visible, which shall overbear it. A way to thrust a Nation into a State of War, continual Perjury and Impiety to the Worlds End. This Realm (as he goes on) is my Inheritance; which I took Possession of after the Death of my Grandfather being a Child, and did I claim only by your Gift (which I shall never grant) yet are not you free, to make a new Choice; you are bound to me by Oaths and Com­pacts, and no Right of new Complyance, or Sub­mission can be left you to transfer. He concludes, That Despair was a dangerous Sin, which would drive them head-long to Destruction; that whatso­ever their Offences had been, they were not above his Mercy.

He bids them not trouble themselves for Tyler, a base Fellow who thrust them into Dangers, and blew them into a Storm, to raise himself upon the Billows, upon the Ruins of his Country. He pro­mises to lead them, he will be their Captain if they will follow him, he will please them in all their Desires. This he spake to draw them off farther into Smithfield, fearing they would again fall to burning of Houses. They now wanted their Devil, who possessed them, and being in Doubt [Page 449] whether they should kill the King, or return Home with his Charters, there being no Incendiary to command, follow the King in Suspence; Baal and Straw about this time amazed at the Idol's Fall, lose Courage and slip away. In the mean time the stout Mayor spurs to the City with one Servant, where in a few Words he acquaints the Citizens with the Kings Peril and his own, and requests their sudden Assistance, if not for himself, for the King, who (says he) is in Danger now to be mur­thered. Some Loyal Hearts, some good Men of the Kings Party arm, and joyn to the Number of one Thousand, and range themselves in the Street, expecting some of the Cavaliers of the Kings Knights to conduct them, resolved either to over­come, or not to fear the Conquerors.

Sir Robert Knowles, a renowned Commander in the French Wars of the King's Grandfather (cal­led falsly Canol by Polydore, and others) undertakes this Charge. Sir Perducas D'Albret (called D'Al­breth) a Noble Gascoign and a Commander too in those Wars, Nicholas Brembre the Kings Draper, and other Aldermen, come in with their Levies, and march to the King in sight of the Rebels. There the King knights the brave Wil: Walworth, Iohn Standish, one of his Esquires, Nicholas Brembre, Iohn Philpot, 'a most generous Citizen, (famous for his faithful Service to his Prince in the times suc­ceeding) and others. The Nobility about the King desire him to strike off an hundred or two of the Clowns Heads, in Revenge of the Injuries and Infamy they had received from them. Sir Robert Knowls would have him fall on, and cut them all to pieces. The King dislikes both these Counsels; [Page 450] He says many of these unhappy Men were awed to side, without either Malice to his Person or Pow­er; and that if the first Advice were taken, the most Innocent might be punished, and the Guilty scape: If the Second, the very Rebel and the Counterfeit (the forced one) must be swallowed up together, which was high Injustice. Yet were there many of these Rebels called to an Account, and their Acts of Blood, Rapine and Burning cost them dear; but these Acts of theirs done against Law, were punished Legally, upon the finding of Juries, when the Tumults were composed: Which was fair and handsome, and shew the Ho­nourable Justice of our King. All that was done against them that Night, was, to forbid the Citi­zens by Proclamation to entertain any of these Men in the City, or communicate with them; and to command all Men, who had not dwelt there for one Year before, to depart.

So far was the young King from approving the Cruelty of the late Counsels, that in the next Place, he causes the Charters, which he had pro­mised them, to be delivered: Yet some may suppose this but a Pardon of Shew, and the Pardon-piece of the Charters, as well as the other part, rather a Piece of Policy than any thing else; the Countrys being yet Tumultuons, the Clowns were upon their good Behaviour, that was a Condition of their Pardon, which they would not observe; they com­mit new Outrages, break the Kings Laws, and pluck down the Vengeance of Justice upon their Heads afresh, they did not give over their Mis­chiefs after their Return, says Wals. By the King and his Counsel, the Charters at extorted [Page 451] out of Force, and Necessity were recalled; and though the Meynie generally were pardoned, the King (again provoked) staid but for a fit time to take Vengeance on the Ring-leaders, and punish particular Offenders who could not be forgiven: It being necessary in so desperate a Revolt, for the Terror of others, to make Examples of some such malicious Disturbers of the Peace, as would never have been reclaimed. The King's Charters contained a Manumission of the Villains, and Abo­lition of the Memory of what was past for the rest. The Tenor, says Walsingham, of the Char­ters extorted from the King by Force, was this, (he gives us only that of Hartfordshire the Province of his Monastery.)

RIchard, by the Grace of God, King of Eng­land and of France, Lord of Ireland, To all his Bayliffs and others his Trusty, to whom these Letters shall come, greeting: Know ye that we of our special Grace have made free all our Lieges, and every of our Subjects of Hartfordshire, and we free those, and every of them from all Ab omn bon­dagio. Bondage, and quit them by these Presents; and also we pardon the same our Lieges, and Subjects, for all Fellonies, Treasons, Trespasses, and Extortions by them, or any of them, in any wise done, or committed, and also every Outlary, or Outlaries, if any against them, or any of them, are or shall be published, and our [Page 452] full Peace to them, or any of them, therefore we grant. In witness whereof these our Letters we have caused to be made Patents. Wit­ness our self at London the 15th. day of June, the 4th. Year of our Reign.

This Charter was granted about the time the Clowns of Essex disbanded, and received theirs, it was brought into Harfordshire to Saint Albans by Wallingford one of the Town. Illucescente die Veneris. Friday says Walsingham the day of Tribulation, &c. (which was the 16th. of Iune) the Townsmen of Saint Al­bans being at the time of Mattins acquainted by those of Barnet with the Command of the Ordi­nance, or Act, for repairing to London presently with the Esquires of the Abbot, set forth; So that I conceive the Day of this Charter is mistaken in it by the Monk.

The Clowns throw down their Arms at the Kings Feet, sue for Mercy, and deliver up their Chiefs; the Principal of which, Priest Straw was after drawn from his hiding Holes, and laid hold of by the Kings Officers. What became of them we shall see below, in the Visitation made by the King, and his Ministers, through the Provinces in Uproar.

The Commons of Kent now scatter and dissolve, the Heads of the Arch-bishop, Lord Prior, and the rest, are taken down from the Bridge, and the Idols advanced there. That Baal should now be taken in an old House is an Error of the Knights; Baal must take Fr [...]iss. so. [Page 453] his Turn, but he shall have a longer Run for it. That the Dagger should now be given in Honour of Sir William Walworth as an Addition to the City Arms is Fabulous; this Dagger is the Sword of St. Paul, and was born by the City when Tyler was living.

The King now rides to Westminster, where he gives God Thanks for his Deliverance, and pre­sents his Offering to the Virgin Mary, in her Chap­pel of the Piew; next he visits the Princess Mo­ther in the Tower Royal, called the Queens Ward­robe, and bids her rejoyce, for (says he) this Day I have recovered mine Heri­tage, the Realm of England near Froiss. lost; the Lords return to their own Houses. The other Countries now in Combustion, and upon their March to London, make halt; they were Thunder-strucken at the Disaster of the Idol, they hated the Fortune not the Wickedness of that Monster, and tarry to pour out those Plagues at Home, if they be not checked, which before they intended to carry farther off. The Example and Success of the Idol had moved with many, but his Invitation, and Sollicitation by the Emissaries of this Confederacy and Spirit more. The Sectaries, or Ring-leaders of the hurden rustick Raggamuffins in the several Provinces of the Association (while Tyler was thus busied in the chief Seat of his new Dominions) promote the Cause, and pursue the Instructions of the Prince of Devils; they were all to trèad his Steps, as we shall find in what fol­lows.

[Page 454] I have before spoken of the Summons of the Idol to fetch the The lewd pranks of the Clowns at Saint Albans. bordering Rogues into the Line of Communication, who were to serve as Auxiliaries only, to strengthen Tyler, ra­ther than to enrich themselves, and likely to be cashiered, and cast off when he had perfected his Works: amongst these Rake-hells were the Towns­men of Saint Albans with the Abbots Servants, shuffled in the Throng of purpose to oversee and awe the Clowns, from the new Fangles of our Phana­ticks. These, as is related, were sworn to the Ingagement at Heibury; whence they come to Lon­don; whither they are no sooner got, but the Townsmen separate from the Servants of the Mo­nastery, and in St. Mary-bow-Church does their profane Conventicle consult how to make Advan­tage of the Tumult.

And what Pretences of Revolt from their Lord Abbot would seem most fair, and taking. Here they make not the Causes of their Disobedience, they were hatched secretly amongst themselves; they deliberate how to perfect things, how to come to Effects. The enlarging the Bounds of their Com­mon, free Fishing, Hunting in certain places, when they pleased, and Hand-mills, that the Bayliff of the Liberty shall no more meddle within the Pre­cincts of the Town; the Revocation of Charters prejudicial to the Free-born Burgesses, cancelling the Bonds of their Fore-fathers made to Abbot Ri­chard, are the Propositions first voted.

One, who would be wiser than the rest, per­swades them not to attempt things rashly, and giddily, without Authority: He tells them, that [Page 455] Wat Tyler, Protector and Captain General of the Clowns was near; that the Protector, was a Righter of Wrongs raised, and inspired by Providence to redeem the faithful Commons from the Thraldom of the Wicked. At Wals. Ducem ri­baldorum, ut ac­cepta ab eo po­testate, &c. the Suit of the Godly Party (says he) Tyler has accepted the Govern­ment, he is to govern the two Nati­ons; The Supreme executive Power resides in him; from him (says he) and from the Keepers of the Liberties let us seek for Remedy.

Let us make our Addresses to him, let us seek to his Highness for Power, and Commission. This he said (as Walsingham writes) supposing a grea­ter than Tyler should not be seen in the Kingdom, that Tylers Greatness for the time to come would only be eminent; That the Laws of the Land (the most ancient Wals. English Saxon Laws) would be of no Force, of no Validity, because the most of the Lawyers were already murthered, and the rest in their Account not long-lived; the Axes Edge was turned towards them. He concludes, let us return Home, and in the Puissance of Wat, and our selves, force the Abbot to Reason; if he deny our Requests, we will awe him with Burning and demolishing the Monastery, with killing the Monks, we will threa­ten not to leave one Stone upon another. Others conceive it more safe to petition the King (who might be spoken with by every Man, and durst refuse nothing) for his Letters under the Privy Seal, commanding the Abbot, to restore to the Townsmen the Rights, and Liberties which their Ancestors enjoyed in the time of King Henry the [Page 456] First, as if the English Church had been lately en­dowed, the Monasteries founded, their Royalties, Liberties, Priviledges granted by the Norman Princes, than which nothing could be more false. The most Christian Saxon Kings of Blessed Me­mory, twelve of which dyed Martyrs of the Faith, ten shine Glorious Stars in the Calender of Saints, were all nursing Fathers of the Church; scarcely was there one in the Illustrious Roll, who gave not Lands and Possessions with Exemptions, and Immunities to the Church; who erected not Bishop-ricks, or Monasterys, into which Thirty of our Crowned Heads, Kings, or Queens entred; the Superstition of the Ages then ought not to blemish their Piety. The Mercian King Offa, his Son Ecg­fryd, King Ethelred, King Edward, are the Foun­ders and Donors of S. Albans. What King Henry the First did for the Town I cannot say, nor how ample its Liberties were then. This is true, he confirms the Grants of the Saxon Princes, to the Monastery, and adds the Norman Seal to strengthen the Saxon Cros­ses; All these Grants end with horrible Curses against Sa­criledge. this is all; but Truth is not necessary in such Uproars; the Credulity of a Light-headed Mul­titude is quickly abused, their Duty and Obedience easily corrupted without it.

To keep our Way: Both these Counsels are approved; William Greyndcob an Hind, who had eaten the Bread Walsing. of the Monastery for the most part of his Life, is elected with others, and sent on this Errand to the King, before whom he kneels six times out of Zeal to prevail. This Lo [...] too was made princi­pal [Page 457] Prolocutor (says our Monk) or Speaker to the Idol: before Walsingh. whose sordid Excellency and his unclean Counsel he complains of the grievous Tyranny of the Ab­bot and Prior, (some few Monks are thrust in to make up the Number) of the Oppressures of the Commons, of witholding the Wages of poor La­bourers; the Design was to rouze the Wolf.

Tyler meant not to leave London, yet he promi­ses, if need be, to send Twenty Thousand of the Saints, who shall not fail to shave the Beards of the Abbot and the rest, which signified (in plain Eng­lish) cutting off their Heads.

The gracious Captain General was yet more kind; he vows, if it be convenient, to assist them in his own Person. He gives them Directions and Orders to govern themselves by, and makes their Obedience here, a Condition of his Love. These Orders were generally enjoyned by our English Mahomet, through all the Provinces of his Con­quest, and were framed according to the Law of his bloody Alchoran. He swears them to omit nothing either in his Commands or Doctrine. A Servant of the Abbot, one of the Spies upon the Townsmen, rides in full Career to S. Albans and gives Intelligence to the Abby of the Exploits of the new Masters at London. He tells them in what manner that Dirt of a Captain (Tyler) ful­lyed and polluted with the Blood of the Nobless, had butchered the English Patriarch, and the Lord Treasurer. That London, the Den of these rave­nous Beasts, falsly called the Chamber of her Kings, was likely now to become the Charnel-house of Richard, and his Loyal Vassals: That these Fiends, [Page 458] who would goe for Saints, and the only good Pa­triots commit the Acts of Thieves, and Murthe­rers, neither reverencing Religion nor Laws: And that the Conquering French, who makes fair War, nay the barbarous Scot, broke out of the Fastness of his own Desart, mortal Enemies of the Nation, could not spoil nor ruin with more Cru­elty and Villany. No Mercy, says he, (yield who will upon Mercy) no Favour, no Goodness can be expected from this Rout of Wolves. He bids those pointed at, and named by Greyndcob to Tyler, shift for themselves, which they are not long in resolving of. The Prior, four Monks, and some of their Servants, one part horsed, ano­ther on Foot, fly for their Lives, not assuring themselves till they got to Tynmouth, a Priory of this Monastery of Saint Albans in Northumberland. William Greyndcob, and William Cadindon a Baker, on Fryday had hastened to S. Albans, that they might make the Honour of the Atchievement theirs, by first appearing in the Action. These brag aloud of the Prosperity of Affairs, that they were no more Drudges and Slaves, but Lords for the time to come; that they had brought about great and wonderful Feats against the Abby; they propose, first to defie the Ab­bot, Wals. ad diffide­ciandum. to renounce all Amity and Peace with him, then to break down his Folds and Gates in Fauconwood, Eywood, and Suqtellerar [...]. his other Woods, and to pull down the Under-Bow­sers House, standing over against the Fish-market, and hindering the Prospect of the Burgesses and No­bility of the Town, this is their own Style, a No­bility scarce to be parallel'd in the World disco­vered, [Page 459] unless we fetch in the Man-eaters of Brasil, who have neither Letters nor Laws, acknowledge neither God nor Prince.

This Night the first Scene of the Tragedy is acted; the next day, being Saturday, fatal to the Hangman Tyler, the Upstart Nobility of Churls assemble and make Proclamation, That no Man a­ble to serve his Country, presume to slight the Lieutenants of the Idol, but that every Man fur­nish himself with such Arms as he can provide, to attend them the Lieutenants in his own Defence. The Crew summoned are commanded to press the Gentry for the Service, and to cut off the Heads of those who would not joyn with them, and swear to be faithful to them; beheading, burning Hou­ses, Forfeiture of Goods were menaced to all that would not assist the Forces raised by Tyler, and fight the Lords Battels, that is, for the Cause. This, says our Monk, was the Charge of their Lord and Master Wat, this was his Rubrick of Blood.

Next, with great Pomp they march to Fauconwood; to level Cum magna pom­pa the slips of their Haste and Night­work; something they feared might be left whole, upon Review; when Root and Branch were pared and torn up, they retire.

The other Growtnolls of the Neighbourhood, subject to the Distress, or Seigniory of Saint Al­bans, wait for them; these were cited upon the same Threats to meet, and promised Belly-fulls, Cart Loads of Liberties. Now or never for the Liberty of the Subject, and the Power of Godliness. This Supply swells them into huge Hopes, it puffs them up. Greyndcob and Cadindon more haughty [Page 460] now than ever; lead their Battalias, blustering with surly Pride and Disdain, to the Gates of the Monastery, which with the same Loftiness they command the Porter to set open. Some of the Company, Friends of the House, had given pri­vate Intelligence to the Abbot of the Contrivances against him, who had instructed his Servants how to carry themselves toward this Tag and Rag of Swains; they observe them punctually.

That they may seem pious in their Entrance, they free the publick Malefactors out of the Ab­bots Prison; but so that they should owe Faith hereafter, and Grace of the Benefit to the Commons (a Name the most Honourable, and which must swallow up all things else) and inseparably stick to them. One of the Offenders, whom they sup­pose unworthy of Liberty or Life (grown Judges and Executioners by the same Inspiration and Spi­rit) they behead on the Ground before the Gates, then fix his Head upon the Pillory, roaring with that devilish Cry they had learnt at London. This was plain Murther by the Law, whatsoever this Mans Crime was, these Rogues were guilty in a most high Nature, so that besides the Baseness of their Condition, they were incapable of any Juris­diction by the ancient fundamental Laws of Eng­land, as being Traitors, and out of the Kings Faith: But to wave all this by these ancient Laws, every Priso­ner Mir. 114 might demand Oyer, hearing of the Judges Commission, these Villains had neither Authority nor Commission, but from Tylers Sword, which was but a Derivative of his Usurpation. No Act of which can be just, the Foundation of his [Page 461] Tyranny this Way, in being just, and illegal at the first.

From the Idols first Entrance no Act of Confir­mation or Grant was done (could any such Act be done and valid) to establish or make a Right, by the Power which had that Right to bestow; he asked for a Commission of Life and Death, but was refused, and his Arbitrary Acts were only a Continuance of his Intrusion, and of the Violence upon which he began.

To fill up their tattered Regiments, their Fel­low Leaguers or Covenanters of Barnet, Luton, Watford, and the Towns round enter St. Albans of the same Sacrilegious Affection to the Abby. In all these Conspiracies the Church was the main Mark aimed at, about the Carcases of the Cathe­drals and Abbys (they were now nothing else) did these Vultures gather. In the same Conjuncture of times enters Richard Wallingford, Head-borough or Constable of the place, who tarried at London for the Kings Letter of Manumission and Pardon, (which Greyndcob had been so earnest for) bearing the Kings Banner or Pennon of the Arms of St. George, being the red Cross before him, according to the Fashion of the Clowns of London. The Commons hearing of his coming, pour themselves out in Heaps to meet him. He alights, strikes the Pe­non into the Earth, and bids them keep close and encircle it like a Standard. He intreats them to continue about it, and expect his Return, and the Lieutenants, who were resolved with all Speed to treat with the Abbot, and would suddenly bring them an Answer to their Propositions. Which said, he and they enter the Church, and send for [Page 462] the Abbot to appear before them, and answer the Commons (only Sacred then, and to whom all Knees were to bow.) The Abbot was at first re­solute to dye for the Liberty of his Church; (a pious Gallantry which will be admirable) but o­vercome with the Prayers of his Monks; who told him, as things stood, his Death could advantage nothing; that these stinking Knaves, these Hell­hounds were determined to murder the Monks, and burn the Monastery, if they had the Repulse; and that there was no Way of Safety but to fall down before these Baals, he yields. After he was come to the Church, and a short Salutation past; Wal­lingford reaches out to him the Kings Letter or Writ (as Walsi [...]gham calls it) in these Words, as I have rendred them out of the barbarous French of that Age.

BEloved in God, At the Petition of our loved Lieges of the Town of St. Albans we will and command you, That certain Charters being in your Custody made by our Progenitor King Henry to the Burgesses and good People of the said Town, of Commune of Pasture and Fishing, and of certain other Commodities expressed in the said Charters, in what they say, you doe as Law and Reason requires; So that they may not have have any Matter to complain to us for that Cause Given under our Signet at London the 15th. Day of June, the fourth year of our Reign.

[Page 463] Here certainly again is a Mistake of the Day, for till Friday the 16th. of Iune, the Clowns of Saint Albans (as is observed) stirred not. Thus is the King forced to be the Author of other Mens Injustice, to consent to those Insolences (and Wrongs) which must undoe all those who are Faithful to him, to please a base Rabble, enga­ged to turn in the end their destroying Hands up­on himself and his Royal Family; the Abbot re­ceives the Letter with due Reverence, and reads it: Then thinking to work upon the Consciences of these Hell-hounds, he begins a Discourse of Law, Reason, Equity, and Justice; Law and Reason were the Princely Bounds betwixt which the Kings Commands ran. He tells them, whatsoever was de­manded by them, had been long agoe determined in the Courts of Justice, by the publick Judges, Persons knowing and honourable, sworn to do equal Right.

That the Records were kept amongst the Kings Rolls at Westminster, whence he inferred, That according to the Laws anciently in Use, they had neither Right nor Claim left: He adds, the Usur­pation upon anothers Propriety is Tyranny in the Abstract; it is the greatest Injustice: The very Heathens will have it unnatural to enrich our selves to make our Advantage from Spoil and Robbery, but Force is odious to God and Man, that aggra­vates the Sin; Violence is a more heinous Crime than Theft. This was ridiculous Wisdom, con­sidering who they were the good Abbot spake to; he had forgot perhaps how Antigonus armed to in­vade and seize the Cities, and Countries of other [Page 464] Princes, laughed at the serious grave Folly of one who presented him with a Tractate of Justice. Wallingford with his Hand upon his Sword takes him off pertinently, as reflecting upon the Man­ners of Men, whose Treasons prosper, and Practise of the times; in which now Men did not advance themselves by Vertue, by Learning, by Justice, or Valour, but by Murder and Robbery.

My Lord (says he) every Story is not true, because it is eloquently told; you endeavour here to inveigle and deceive us in a long Discourse of Equity, of Law, and Justice; we come not hither for Words but Things; we pretend not to refute your Reasons, (which are but unjust Defen­ces of your Oppression), but cunning Subtilties, but Colours to paint o'er the Wrongs you do us, nor can we; the Rudeness of our Education must disable us for this part, we have been born and bred under your Dominion, Slaves, and Villains to you under a Dominion so unmanly cruel; you have always kept us deprived, not only of all Means of Learning or Knowledge, but would wil­lingly have taken away our very Reason and com­mon Understanding, that we might groan under our Miseries with the feeling of Beasts, but be Masters neither of Sense nor Language for a Com­plaint.

It is time now that we of the Commonalty, as you call and range us, should take our Turn of Com­mand, however of Liberty. Nor is this to be won­dered, at if you consider our Strength, and the Hap­piness of the new Model; the Eminency of the Commons is visible to every Eye, theirs is the present, theirs is the Supreme Power. We are armed, [Page 465] and we will not think of the Laws, nor regard them, they only submit to Laws who want Power to help themselves. Besides these Laws you tell us of, are but the Will of our Enemies in Form and Rule, they were made by them, they favour them; and our Captain General Tyler, who has conquered (a sad unhappy Word, where it is used of one part of a Per (que) uterum so­nipes hic matris agendus. Nation against another, and of Benjamin against Israel, by the worst and least against the better and greater) the Makers of them, the Law-givers, was so be­come above the Laws themselves; your Reasons, when these Laws were backed with Force, when your King could protect you, before our Success might have served well enough; now we ex­pect them not, nor will we accept them.

He concludes in Perswasion not to exasperate the Godly Party, the Righteous Commons, who, says he, will not be appeased, will not give over, nor lay down Arms, till they be Masters of their De­sires.

The Abbot, entring into a new Speech, is again stopped and told, the Thousand before the Doors of his Monastery sent for him not to parly, but consent, which they look he should be sudden in; if not, we (says Wallingford) the Lieutenants, chosen by the Captain Representatives of the People, will deliver up and resign the Powers to him, which we received of him. We have voted, if you comply not, to send for the Captain General Tyler, and Twenty thousand of his Militia, to the Danger of this Place, and of the Monks Heads.

The Abbot here recites his good Deeds, how [Page 466] often in their Necessities he had relieved them, he had been (he says) their spiritual Father thirty two Years; in all which time, no Man had been grie­ved, or oppressed by him: this giving implyedly the Lye to Wallingford, they grant but will not be denyed. The Obligations and Charters which they require, are delivered them, which they burn in the Market-place, near the Cross. This did not content them, they ask for an ancient Charter concerning the Town Liberties, the Capi­tal Letters of which (say they) were one of Gold, another of De azorio. Azure: The Abbot prays them to be satisfied for that time, he protests, they have all he has to give them, he knew of no more, yet he would make a search, and if any such Deed could be found, it should faithfully be delivered to them. This too was the answer of the Covent, it was agreed that the Abbot should after Dinner disclaim under his Hand and Seal in all Things prejudicial to their Liberty. In Memory of an old Suit betwixt Abbot Richard the First, and the Townsmen in the Reigns of William the Second, and Henry the First, wherein the Townsmen were overthrown, were laid Milstones before the Door of the Parlor. These Iohn * Locutorii. the Barber with others took away, as a Token of Victory over the Law; these they break into small pieces, and distribute amongst the Wor­thies, as the Sacred Bread is given in the Eu­charist.

Who could forbear Tears (says Walsingham) heavily bewailing Wals. these Changes, to see Servants command their [Page 467] Lords, who know not how to rule, nor how to pity. To see London (once the noble Head of our Cities) become a Stye for unclean Swine. Who would not tremble to hear that the Arch-bishop and the Lord Treasurer should be offered Victims to wicked Spirits, to the Kentish [...]dol the Kentish Saturn or Moloch, and his Hob-gob­lins in the midst of the Kingdom. Nay (says he) whose Heart would it not have wounded through, to have seen the King of England, who of Right for Majesty and Dignity ought to precede all Kings in the World, out of Fear of his Head, ob­serve the Nods and Becks of these Varlets, and the Nobility and Gentry, mortified Beasts, trampled on by these Scullions, enslaved at their own Charge, lick up their Dust.

After Dinner, a sad Dinner to the Monks, this Merdaille, these Stinkards, throng before the Gates, and demand the Charter of Liberties, which the Abbot had promised them to seal, which was sent, and read to them in the thickest of the Rout: If they please to accept it, (this was the Abbots Complement) he is ready to seal. They (resolved never to be pleased) with much Scorn and Pride answer by an Esquire of the Abbot, That the Abbot must appoint some Clerk of his to attend them with [...]nk and Parchment, themselves would dictate, and after the Abbot and Covent should confirm what was done; when this Hu­mour, was satisfied, the Safety and Peace of the Monastery and Monks were as desperate as ever. The old Charter, which they will everlastingly believe concealed, must be produced, else they will bury the Covent in the Ruins of the Cloysters.

[Page 468] This Charter did certainly (as they will have it) contain all their ancient Liberties and Privi­ledges; and if this was true, there was no great Reason it should be in the Abbots keep­ing.

Here the Abbot imploys the most Honourable Esquires of the Country, as Mediators to soften them, and offers (if they desire it) to say Mass before them next Morning, and to swear upon the Sacrament he Super Sacramen­tum. should be about to take, with what Monks they would name, that he kept from them no such Charter with his Know­ledge.

Make Choice (says he) of what Liberties you can, you shall have my Charters drawn, they shall be granted you by it; I will seal you a real Charter instead of a fantastical one, never seen by you, no where to be had. The Abbot struggles in vain against these Waves, this Charter of their Fancies they will have: Nor shall any other Price redeem the Monastery, they intended the Subver­sion of the House, and wrangle thus crossly, that they might seem to have some Pretences to do it; but because they had much Business to go about, and could not be here and there too, a Truce was taken for that Day, and many of these pure Bre­thren betake themselves to other parts; some of them would not be prevailed with, the Bread and Ale of the Monastery brought forth to them in huge Fats, would not work upon them to lay their Fury, they staid only for a leading Hand. Here an honest Burgess interposes, Ri­baulds (says he) what is it you Ribaldi. [Page 469] purpose; most of you here are Forreigners of the Villages about, this is the most famous Mischief which can be acted in this Country, this Beacon must set all on Fire, and it is fit we, who are Bur­gesses and Freemen of this Town, should give the On-set: By this Fineness they are gained to quit the Gates, and joyn to the Assistance of their Fel­low-Labourers. The rest of the Day is spent by their united Forces, in overthrowing of Houses, clashing of Vessels, and spoiling of Goods accor­ding to the Rule of Walter the false Founder of the Order. At Night Quod didicerant à Waltero. the Lieutenants make Proclama­mation under the Kings Banner, commanding strong Guards to be set about the Town, that they may be assured against Surprizes, and about the River Werlam, and Saint Germains; making it Loss of the Head to any Monk, who should be found issuing from, or entring the Monastery that Way; this was done to set a Trap for the Prior, and those who fled with him. They proclaimed also, that whosoever could challenge any Debts due to him from the Monastery, might put in his Claim (and little Proof should be needed) the next Day, and the Burgesses of the Town, would dis­charge as far as the Goods of the Monastery would reach. Much more was Magisterially thrown in, to shew a Cast of the present Power: Which was no sooner done, but there appears a Farmer of the Mannor of Kingsbury belonging to this Abby, arme I with his Sword and Buckler; this Man was much in Arrears for his Farm, and durst not peep abroad from his lurking Holes before these Broils; which hiding of himself he imputes now to the In­justice, and Cruelty of the Prior: This Chuff de­mands [Page 470] one hundred Marks Damages for the Losses he had sustained in his Absence, and threatens to burn the Grange of Saint Peter, and Mannor-house of Kingsbury near the Abby, if he be not repaired; Twenty pounds he receives upon this Demand, and goes away, swearing, he would freely give it back again for the Priors Head.

Saturday Night passed with much Perplexity to the Monks, who were at their Wits Ends, and Lives too (they could not hope better things) about the Charter, which was no where extant but in the Noddles of these Cluster-fists. But Day and Comfort broke out together upon them; sud­denly this Overflow of Pride, and Arrogancy aba­ted, their Loftiness fell, and their Bristles were somewhat laid, very unpleasing Rumours concer­ning the Army were spread, and the Death of the Idol Tyrant Wat, of stinking Me­mory, was certainly known and Wals. foedae me­moriae. divulged; and what was as stab­bing, that the Citizens of London grown wise, and resolute, either out of Loyalty (or which is the rather to be supposed, Experience of their new Master) began now to own their Prince, their natural Lord unanimously, and to side with him against all Seditious Opposers of his Majesty, and the just Rights and Liberties of his Peo­ple, which they saw like to pe­rish Walsingh. together. Farther a Knight of the Court, seconds the Report, and by Proclamation in the Kings Name (now legal again) commands this Herd to keep the Kings Peace under forfeiture of Life, and Members from that Hour.

The King now grown a Protector again of his Sub­jects, [Page 471] sends his Letters Protectory to the Abbot in these Words.

RIchard, &c. To all our Lieges, and Commons of Hartford, &c. We pray, charge, command, straightly as we may, &c. by the Faith and Liegances which to us ye owe, that to our Beloved in God, the Abbot of St. Albans, nor to our House and Monastery of the said Place, of our Patronage, nor to none of the People, Monks, nor others, nor to none of the Goods of the said Monastery, &c. Ye suffer to be done, as much as in you lies, any Grievance, Dammage, &c. Given under our Great Seal at our City of London, &c.

Though now these Carles were well cooled, yet e'er the Zeal was quite slackened, and the Clouds dispelled, which hovered weakly, and were likely to scatter with the next Breath of Wind, they conclude to perfect their Building, which to the great Nuisance of this Monastery they had raised. Besides, the Lieutenants, or Major Generals of Tyler, thought it a much unworthiness to droop too soon, before those whom they had sum­moned in to piece up their deformed Insurrection with so much Bravery, and Insolence. They con­tinue and pursue their Requests to the Abbot, but with less Noise than formerly; the Abbot was ad­vised by Letters from Sir Hugh Segrave, Lord Steward of the Houshold, and Sir Thomas Percy created after Earl of Worcester, to grant all things, [Page 472] assuring him these Grants being thus forced from him would be void in Law, and could not hurt his Monastery. The Abbots Chamber, the Chap­pel, all Places are full of them, they give Directi­ons to the Abbot's Clerk for their Charter of Li­berties, which now they were contented to accept, but will have a Bond of One thou­sand pounds Sterling for the deli­vering Wals. Sterlingo­rum. up the Charter unknown, before the Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin next, if it can be found; if not, that the Abbot with his twelfth Hand, (an ancient Saxon manner of pur­ging or clearing the Offender, where the Offence was secret) with twelve of his chief Monks should swear, that he neither has nor detains any such Charter with his Knowledge.

The Abbot agrees, he and the Covent Seal; but oh! the Miracle (not to be believed, nor under­stood without another upon our Faith, and Under­standing) the seal, in which the Glorious Protomartyr was figured, Wals. three times together could not be pulled from the Wax, no sleight, no Strength could doe it; to pass by the pious Frauds, and Dreams of Monks. From thence the Black-bands depart to the Market­place, there at the Cross they publish their new Acquisitions, the Charters of the King, and Ab­bot, with the Kings Protection of the Monastery, which was but a Counterfeit of their Love. On Munday and Tuesday following, the Villains of the Patrimony of our Protomartyr (as the others did in all places else imbroiled) exact of the Ab­bot Deeds of Manumission and Liberty, according to the Effect of the Royal Charter before, which [Page 473] Charter the Abbot recites, and confirms.

From Villains these now conceive themselves Gentlemen of Welsh Pedegree, descended of Prin­ces, nay, as our Monk, noble beyond the Line and Race of Kings; they are meer Free-holders, hold only of God and the Son, rather of the Sun, and Club, and will neither perform their Customs, and Services, nor pay Rent. The common Peo­ple, who are neither swayed by Religion or Ho­nesty, stop and check themselves, not that they were contented, Wals. but because they could not, nay they durst not go on to more.

The Plague of this Distemper was not only epidemical, but kept its Days; on the fatal Satur­day, fifty thousand Clowns, out of Suffolk, Essex, Cambridgeshire, the Isle of Ely (places miserably harrassed according to the former Presidents) were incorporated by the jugling Tricks of the Essexian Impostors, sent out by the Fathers of Disobedience, in the first Conception of the Ruffle, to inveigle Proselites to the Holy League. This was but an indigested Mass, without Shape or Form, Wraw not Straw (as sometimes he is called) a [...]most lewd Presbyter, as Walsing­ham, or Priest, who came from Sceleratiss. Pres­byter. London, the Day before with Or­ders from Tyler (who according to his own Esta­blishment had the executive Power) was imployed in­to those parts to lick and fashion the Monster. He with Robert Westbrome King of this Congregation, lead the tatter'd Reformers from Mildenhall to St. Edmunds-bury, where then stood a most Glorious Monastery, and where their Fellow Scoundrels [Page 474] expected them. Wraw finds these Choperloches good Disciples, willing to learn, and quick of Apprehension, so capable they understood his least Signs. The same Frenzies are again acted by other Lunaticks, the Lawyers or Apprentices of the Law (as the Monk) and their Houses are the first Ob­jects of their spight, they do not only cut off them, but fire their Nests. Sir Iohn Cavendish Chief Justice of the Kings Bench, who had been one of the most able Serjeants of this Kings Grand-fathers Reign, and was made Chief Justice by him, they intercept, and behead. Orpheus Tracie, Nero the Roman, Belgabred the Brittain, excellent in the Sweetness of a Voice and Skill of Song, with Iohn of Cambridge. Prior of Saint Edmunds, lose their Lives in the same manner, as they unluckily fell into their Hands.

The Cause of the Priors Death is made this: He was discreet and managed the Affairs of his Monastery faithfully, and diligently; he was ta­ken near Mildenhall, a Town then belonging to Saint Edmund of the Demain of the Abby, the Vassals, Hinds, Villains, and Bond-men of the House, sentenced him, murthered him by Vote; His Body lay five Days Naked in the Field unburi­ed. In Saint Edmunds-bury, these Cut-throats compass the Priors Head round as in a Procession, after they carry it upon a Lance to the Pillory, where that and the Chief Justices Head are advanced. The next Work was the levelling a new House of the Priors. After they enter the Monastery, which they threaten to fire, unless Iohn Lakinhethe Guardian of the Temporalities of the Barony in the Vacancy then were delivered to them, which [Page 475] the Towns-men mingled in the Throng, put them upon: The Guardian stood amidst the Crowd un­known. This Man out of Piety to preserve the Monastery (it was Piety then, though it may be thought Impiety now) discovers himself, he tells them he is the Man they seek, and asks what it is the Commons would have with him. They call him Traitor (it was Capital to be called so, not to be so) drag him to the Market-place, and cut off his Head, which is set upon the Pillory to keep Company with the Priors and Chief Justi­ces.

Walter of Todington a Monk was sought for, they wanted his Head, but he hid himself, and es­caped. Our Hacksters Errant, of the Round Ta­ble, Knights of Industry, would be thought Gene­ral Redeemers, to take Care of all men in Distress; for the Burgesses Sake, they command the Monks, (threatning them and their Walls, if they obey not) to deliver up the Obligations of the Townsmen for their good Behaviour, all the ancient Charters from the time of King Knute the Founder any way concerning the Liberties of the Town; besides they must grant and confirm by Charter the Liber­ties of the Town, which could not be done in the Va­cancy (for so it was) Edmund of Brumfield Abbot in Name, by Provision of the Pope was a Prisoner at Nottingham, nor had any Election been since the Death of Abbot Iohn Brivole, and therefore the Jewels of the House are pawned to the Towns­men, as a Gage that Edmund of Brumfield (whom they would suppose Abbot, and whom they inten­ded to set free) should seal; which Jewels were a Cross and Chalice of Gold, with other things, [Page 476] exceeding in value One thousand Pounds, these were restored again in time of Peace, but with much Unwillingness. Upon the Bruit of the Idols Mishap, and the Suppression of his Legions at Lon­don, these Caterpillers dissolve of themselves. Wraw the Priest, Westbrome, and the rest of the Capital Villains in the General Audit, or Doomes­day for these Hurliburlies, shall be called to a Reckoning for their Outrages. Cambridge suffered not a little in these Uproars, the Towns-men with the Country Peasants about confederated together, break up the Treasury of the University, tear and burns its Charters; they compel the Chancellor and Scholars under their common Seals, to release to the Mayor and Townsmen all Rights and Liberties, all Actions, and to be bound in 3000l, not to mo­lest the Burgesses by Suits of Law concerning these things for the time to come. The Mayor and Bay­liffs were fetched up by Writ to the next Parliament, where the Deeds were delivered up and cancelled, the Liberties of the Town seized into the Kings Hand as forfeited; new ones granted by him to the University, all which they owe yet to the Pie­ty of this King, and his Parliament, a Court which the Idol never names: Had he set up one of his own begetting, it must have had nothing else but the Name, it would have been as destroying as the Field.

Norfolk the Mother of the Kets would not loy­ter this while, nor sit lazily, and sluggishly look­ing on. Iohn Litster a Dyer of Norwich, King of the Commons there, infuses Zeal, and Daring into his Country-men; he had composed out of his own Empire, and the Borders, an Army of fifty thou­sand [Page 477] Men. This Upstart Kingling would not wholly move by Example, he makes Presidents of his own, and tramples not like a dull Beast the Road beaten by others. He had heard what was done by the London Congregations; he had a Stock of Traditions from the Elders there, which he was able to improve: and although I know not how he could exceed the Idol with his Council, yet (so the Monk) exceed them he did, he presumed greater things.

Tyler lost his Life before things were ripe, was watched and undermined by the King and Nobili­ty, he could not spread his full Sails, else for his Presumption he far out-goes Litster. Litster the Norfolk Devil begins with Plunder and Rapine (the only Way to flesh a young Rebellion.) The Malignants of the Kings Party (the rich and pea­ceable go under that Notion) are made a Prey, no place was safe, or priviledged. Plots were laid to get the Lord William of Ufford Earl of Suffolk, at his Mannor of Ufford near Debenham in Suffolk, into the Company, out of Policy; that if the Cause succeeded not, then the Rebels might cover themselves under the Shadow of that Peer. The Earl warned of their Intention, rises from Supper, and disguised as a Groom Garcion. of Sir Roger of Bois, with a Port­mantue behind him, riding By-ways, and about, ever avoiding the Routs, comes to St. Albanes, and from thence to the King.

The Commons failing here, possess themselves of the places, and Houses of the Knights near, and compell the Owners to swear what they list, and for greater Wariness to ride the Country [Page 478] over with them, which they durst not deny: A­mong those enthralled by this Compulsion were the Lords Scales, and Morley, Sir Iohn Brews, Sir Stephen of Hales, and Sir Robert of Salle, which last was no Gentleman born, but as full of Honour and Loyalty as any Man, Knighted by the Kings Grand-father for his Valour; he was (says Froissart) one of the biggest Knights in England, a Man not supple enough, who could not bend be­fore the new Lords; he had not the Solidity of Judgment (as some more subtle than honest call it) to accomodate himself to the times. Like Messala he would be of the justest side, let the Fortune be what it would; he would not forsake Justice under Colour of following Prudence; he thought it not in vain to prop up the falling Go­vernment: perhaps his Judgment may be blamed he stayed not for a sit time, had he not failed here, he had not fought against Heaven, against Provi­dence, whose Councils and Decrees are hid from us, are in the Clouds, not to be pierced; our Un­derstanding is as weak as foolish, as Providence is certain and wise. Our Hopes and Fears deceive us alike, we cannot resolve our selves upon any Assurance, to forsake our Duty for the time to come, Gods Designs are known only to himself; it is Despair, not Piety (Despair too far from that) to leave our Country in her dangerous Di­seases, in her publick Calamities; the Insolency of injust Men is a Prodigy of their Ruin, and the Incertainty of things Humane may teach us, That those we esteem most established, most assured, are not seldom soonest overthrown. Plato would not have them refer all things to Fate, there is [Page 479] somewhat in our selves (says he) not a little in Fortune. Ours are but Cockfights, the least Re­mainder of Force and Life may strike a necking Blow, and by an unlooked for Victory raise what is fallen; if Death cannot be kept off, if our Coun­try cannot he saved by our Attempts, there is a Comliness in dying handsomly, nor can any Man be unhappy but he who out-lives it. We have heard of Women who cast themselves into the fiery Pits, where their dead Husbands are consu­med; of Vassals who stab themselves to follow their Prince into the next World; of Otho's Prae­torians, of the Saguntines burning in their Cities Flames. What can be so honourable as to dye for or with our Country or Faith, our Religion or Honesty, to dye with that which gave us Life, and Liberty, and Sense of these?

Litsters Hog-herds vow to burn Norwich, unless this Knight will come out to them, which he does well mounted, and forsakes his Horse to please them. They seem to honour him highly, and offer him a fair Canton of the new Common-wealth, if he will command their Forces.

The faithful Cavalier abhorred the proposition, and could not dissemble his Dislike: He tells them, he will not to his eternal dishonour renounce his Soveraign, whom all good Men obeyed, to en­gage with the veryest perfidious Traitors living, in their Villanies. He attempts to horse himself again, but fails; it was Treason to speak against the Government.

The Commons grow furious, they cry out Trea­son, against Treason and Rebellion: Thousands of Hands are lifted up against him, as if they all [Page 478] [...] [Page 479] [...] [Page 480] moved by the same Nerves and Sinews; they hew him down, but he crushes some of them with his Ruin; whosoever stood within his Reach, lost ei­ther Head, Legs or Arms; he kills twelve of them; at length a Villain of his own beats out his Brains. Then do the Infernal Curs rush in with full Mouths and mangles him to bits, who (says Walsingham) would have driven a Thousand of them before him, had he had fair Play. This amazes the rest of the Gentry, they strive for Vassalage, with the same Emulation others do for Liberty; they observe Lit­ster, they receive his Commands upon their Knees, who in all things imitates the State and Pomp of Kings. Sir Stephen of Hales a Knight of Honour carves before him and tasts his Meats, and Drinks; the rest of the miserable Courtiers are imployed in their several Offices. But when the Fame of the Kings good Fortune began to go strong, and of his Preparations to assert his Right and Authority, Litster sends on Embassy (from North-Walsham, the Throne of his Tyranny) to London, the Lord Morley, and Sir Iohn Brews, with three of the confiding Commons, to obtain Charters of Manu­mission, and Pardon, with great Summs of Mo­ny, (squeezed out of the Citizens of Norwich, under Pretence of preserving the City from Slaugh­ter, Fire and Spoil, or as others raised by an ordi­nary Tribute to Litster.) Which Monyes were sent for Presents to the King, to win him to grant them Charters more ample and beneficial, than had been given to any others.

These Messengers are met at Ichlingham near New-Market by Henry le Spencer Lord Bishop of Norwich, of a noble Family, stout and well-armed; [Page 481] He had been at his Mannor of Burleigh near Oke­ham, and there heard of the Tumults in Norfolk, and was now hasting thither to see how things were carryed, with eight Lances only in his Com­pany, and a few Archers. He charged the Lord Morley, and Sir Iohn upon their Allegiance to tell him, whether any of the Commons (the Kings Traitors) were with them. They look upon the Bishop as a young rash Man, and the Awe of their Masters was so prevalent, he could hardly wrest the Secret from them. After many Words they discover it; and the Bishop causes the Heads of the Clowns to be struck off, and fixed on a publick place at New-Market Then taking with him that Lord and Knight, he posts for North-walsham. The Gentry hearing of the Bishops Arrival in his Coat of Male, with his Helmet upon his Head, his Sword by his side, and his Lance upon his Thigh croud in to him; the Bishop quickly found himself in a Gallant Equipage, and as quickly reaches North-walsham, the sink of the Rebellion.

Litster was intrenched, he had fortified his Ditch with Pales, Stakes, and Doors, and shut himself in behind with his Carts, and Carriages. The Heroick Bishop, like another Maccabeus, charges bravely through the Ditch, into the midst of the Rebels (when all the Barons of England hid them­selves,) so suddenly, that the Archers could not let an Arrow fly at him, and came to handy Blows. As the French Historian de Serres observes; in Affairs of the World Raro simul bonam fortuuam cum bona mente. Liv. oftentimes he that is most strong carrys it; a good Fortune, and a good Mind seldom go together.

[Page 482] Otho tells his Souldiers, often times where the Cau­ses of things are good, yet if Judgment be wanting (I may put in) where the Counsels are unsound, the Agents faithless, where Money, Arms, and Men are wanting, the Issue must be pernicious. The Goods and Honours of this World which fol­low the Triumphers Chariots are common to the good and bad; Grace, Charity and Love, are the Marks of a pious Man, not Success, to brag of which becomes rather a Spartacus or Mahomet, (who carry Faith and Law upon the Swords point) than a Christian: The God of the Christi­ans is not the God of Robbery, and Blood. But things here fell out as could be wished, the Inno­cency of the side prevailed, and the righteous weak side overcame the strong unjust. Litster touched with the Conscience of his Mischiefs, struggles to the utmost to avert his Danger, at length gives Ground, and attempts to shift for himself by leaping over his Carriages in the Rere. The Bishop pressed forward so fiercely, that this Course proved in vain; most of the unhappy Clowns are laid along upon the place. Litster and the Cap­tains of the Conspiracy are taken and condemned to be drawn, hanged and beheaded, which was done. Others of the chief Conspirators disper­sed over the Country, are searched out and exe­cuted.

The Monk here tells us, It Nisi enim daemo­nis pleni fuissent, nequaquam in destruct. sacr. Ec­cles. Chr. fidei & regni extermini­um conspirass. was apparent by the Works of these Demoniacks, by their Fruits, that they had conspired (he speaks of the whole) not only the Destruction of the Church and [Page 483] Monarchy, but of the Christian Faith too. School-Masters were sworn by them never to teach Gram­mar more, and whosoever was taken with an Ink­horn about him, never saved his Head.

Our Monk attributes these Calamities to the remisness of the Bishops, to the Conceits and Fan­gles of Presbyter Wycliff, which if they be truly registred by the Monks, his mortal Enemies, were pestilential and damnable. Indeed Presbyter Wy­cliff was then living, but is not named in these Commotions, as one busie in them, by the Monk, (though busie he might be, we shall find Sir Iohn Old-Castle, Lord Cobham and others of Wycliffs Disciples, Rebels, and Traitors too too busie in Henry the Fifths Beginning) Baal, and Straw, and Wraw were Priests of the Idol, and his Lieutenants, and might serve the turn to imbroil without fetch­ing more Aid in: He attributes too these Mischiefs to the licentious Invectives of the Clowns against their Lords, generally to the Sins of the Nation, inclusively taking in the Orders of Mendicants, or Begging Fryers, (like factious Lecturers) w [...] had nothing of their own, and were obliged [...] flatter the People, and make themselves popular; who, says he, forgetful of their Profession and Vows, greedy and covetous of Mony, foster the People in their Errors, call good Evil, and Evil good, seducing the Great Men with Fawning, and the Rabble with Lyes. So that in those Days (thus he proceeds) the Argument held in every Mans Mouth, This is a Fryer, therefore a Lyer, as strong as this, This is white, therefore coloured.

Here again is Walsingham at a Stand; he com­plains, that it is impossible to relate the Villanies [Page 484] of the Rustick Devils, done in all parts.

We will now return to see what the King does next, who was not asleep this while. After he had cleared the City (lately Tylers good Town) of the Kentish Fry; he commands the Nobility and Gentry (who durst now peep abroad) all the Kingdom over to repair to him at London well ar­med, and well horsed, as they loved him, and his Royal Honour. Their own Danger, and late Fears, add Wings to their Haste. Within a few Days, forty thousand Horse meet at a Ren­devouz upon Blackheath, whither the young King who had taken his Sequestration off, and re­stored himself to his Blood and Majesty, rides daily upon a Royal Courser, to view their Order, with his Imperial Banner born before him. He de­lighted to be seen and acknowledged for what he was amongst his own Homagers. Here he is in­formed, that the Kentishmen (a stirring People, but with what generous Resolution will soon be found) are again in Mutiny, (a Mutiny however else contemptible) not to be sleighted at that time. The King commands his Cavalry (on Fire, as much as himself) to march, and root out this per­fidious Race of Miscreants. Here the Nobility and Gentry of the County interpose, and become Pledges for the Commons, which appeases the King; who now disbands his Army, and resolves to take no other Course of Justice, but such as was ordinary and usual, by Judgments upon the known Laws of the Land, and by Juries of twelve Men; the Ancient Birth-right of the Englishmen. Laws which could not have fitted Tylers Courts, nor Tryals, but which have been ever the Rule in all [Page 485] just and legal Tryals, in all calm and pious Ages. The Law Martial being proper to an Army march­ing, to be exercised in it. If otherwise, all Sen­tences by Colour of it, are against the Magna Charta, &c. and to Earl of Strafford Case. the manifest Subversion of the Pri­viledges of Subjects.

Upon this fair, and Kingly Conclusion of Ri­chard, Commissions were given, and Justices of Oyer and Terminer, to hear and determine the Treasons and Fellonies committed in the late In­surrections; and principally to enquire, who were the chief Authors, Fomenters, and Incendiaries of the Broils, are sent into Kent, Essex, and the rest of the Provinces in Rebellion.

The most Honourable Mayor of London, with o­thers in Commission with him, sate upon those of Kent, Essex, Norfolk, and Suffolk, &c. who were apprehended in London. Straw taken in an old rotten House about London, Kirkby, Treder, Ster­ling are condemned, and beheaded, Straws Head being set upon London-bridge with Tylers; but Iack Straw, who was privy to all the Contrivances, and Plots of the Confederacy, could give Light into the Mid-night Darkness of Tylers Steps, through all the close Windings of his Labyrinths of Trea­sons; is urged (the Mayor promising with some honest Citizens to be at the Charge of Masses for his Soul, the Good of which they desire him to consider) to declare his full Knowledge of the Counsels, and Votes passed, and to what end they had conjured up the wicked Spirits of those Gar­boyles. Iohn was obstinate at the first, and would confess nothing, but gained by these Promises, and [Page 486] a little penitent (which was much to be believed of one possessed with Legions) he tells them, Be­cause I have hopes of Help from your Suffrages after my Death, and because this Discovery may be advantage­ous to the Common wealth, I will confess truly to you, what we intended: When we met at Black-heath, and sent for the King by our Captain-Generals Order, we purposed to have massacred all the Nobility and Gentry with him, then to have lead the King with us respected, and treated Kingly from place to place, to bait the vul­gar by the Authority of his Presence into our League, whom they might so have taken for the Head of our Commotion, he being by these Means likely to have been supposed by his own Party too to have trusted us, when by the Confluence of all the Counties our Companies had been full, and the Supreme Executive Power wholly ours, we meant to have purged the Nation, to have destroyed the Gentry, and first the Knights of Saint John of Jerusalem, with all the Rags of Royalty, which by this time had been but a Rag it self. After­wards to have killed the King, whose Name could then have been of no Use to us.

Their Oath to preserve him could not last lon­ger than their Conveniency and Opinions, which had then changed. We meant so once, but we mean otherwise now, had been a satisfactory Ex­cuse. They had often sworn and covenanted, that they neither meant nor had Power to hurt the Kings Prerogative; that they intended to maintain the Kings Authority in his Royal Dignity, the free Course of Iustice, and the Laws of the Land; with infinite Expressions and Protestations of this kind. They might answer, the Time was when all this was real, when they would not have subverted the [Page 487] Government, nor have destroyed the ancient Fami­ly; to which, says a Statute (which we hope it can be no Treason to Tylers Ghost to re­cite) the Dominions, and Rights of the See Mag. Chart. &c. See 25 H. 8. 1 Eliz. 1 Jac. Realm of England, &c. Ought by in­herent Birth-right, and lawful and undoubted Succession, descend and come. This we being bounden (thus speak the Members heretofore) there­unto by the Laws of God and Man do recognise, &c. The Answer we say might have been easie, they would not have done it some time agone, they swore and covenanted, and covenanted again they would, not now they will; Tyler is still Tyler, but his Liberty (false cheating Liberty) is every where free, both to Will and Dislike, as the Safety of the Common-wealth shall require and carry him on. This was the Faith and Honesty of that Age, by which we may guess at the Cause and Men who acted for it. Who were the Undertakers, what Trust is to be given to such perfidious Knaves, whose Protestations, and Covenants of one Day, are wiped out by an Inspiration of the next: We may say by an Inspiration, it was wondrous fit for these Changes. Our Proteus should bring Inspiration in. All those of Estates and Possessions, Bishops, Canons, Persons of Churches, Monks, we would have rooted out of the Earth: Only the begging Fryars should have been pre­served, who would have served (such Sheep such Shepherds) well enough for Church-duties; which we may wonder after all these Pranks that they should think of; here would have been a very plain Church. Questionless after all these Actions, the Devotion of these Reformers could not have been much; by that time our publick Thieves had [Page 488] cast Lots for the Kings, Churches, Nobilities, and Gentrys Revenues, what Boars of other Countrys could have compared with the Riches of our Pea­sants and their Captain Tyler. When there should have been (so Straw goes on,) none left more great, more strong, or Quib. subjecti re­gulati, &c. more wise than our selves, then we had set up a Law of our own forging, at our Pleasure, by which our Subjects should have been regulated. Ne­cessary it was the old Law should be voted down; it condemned them in every Line. Then had we created us Kings, Tyler for Kent (a part too small for the Arch-tyrant) and others for other Shires: Here was to be Monarchy still, not Evil in it self, but where it ought to be of Right; only the Fami­ly was to be changed, the ancient Saxon Norman Stemm, for an upstart Dunghil Brood of Vipers: Tyler to be advanced upon the Ruins of Richard, the Cedar to be torn up, to make the Bramble Room enough, while any of the Royal Off-spring had been in being to claim the Right, to have in­volved the Miserable, Perjured, Foolish People in an Everlasting Civil War; never to have ceased, while there had been a Vein of Blood to run. The Maintenance of Tylers Wrong, his Usurpation (not to look farther then the present World) would have been more fatal than ten Plagues. Iohn adds, no Man thwarted these Ends of ours more than the Arch-bishop, therefore we hated him to Death, and made all the Haste possible to bring him to it.

In the Evening of that Saturday in which Wat perished, because the poorer sort of the Londoners fa­voured us, we intended to have fired the City in four [Page 489] Places, and to have divided the Spoils (So the faith­ful Citizens, as forward as they were, had at last paid for their Love) he calls God to witness these Truths. The Confessions of many others of the Ingagement agreed with this of Straw.

The Lawyers, and those (as one) who sled from the Tyranny Stow. of the Time, durst now shew their Faces. Here is Tyranny of the Rout, Tyranny of a Savage Clown their Boutefeu; whose few Days of cruel Usurpation, were more bloody, more destroying than the Years of any Caligula, any Nero, any Domitian whatsoever. A Civil War (says a Noble Frenchman) Sieur de la Nové. makes more Breaches, as to a Country, as to Man­ners, Laws, and Men in six Months, then can be repaired in six Years.

What then can be thought or said of those Mon­sters, who, against all ties of Nature and Piety, shall raise a desperate Civil War, meerly with the Intent to overthrow Religion, the Church, the Government, Laws, and Humanity, out of a cur­sed divelish Ambition to advance themselves (Ty­lers and Sons of the Earth before) to an Height which God (as some love to speak) never called them to. For though Power is of God, it is only so when the coming to it is by lawful Means. He that ordains the Power, allows not the Usur­pation of it. Tyler had the Power to do Mischief, the Power of Rebellion, the Power which must have ruined the Church and Common-wealth; but whether this be the Power which Christians are to submit to, let the next Casuists judge.

The Septuagint Translation of the Bible says of [Page 490] Abimelech, who slew his Seventy Brethren (Murder ushers Usurpation in) He made himself King, by Tyran­ny. The Monk, who writes the Lives of the Offa's, speaking of Beormred the Mercian Usurper has these Words: In the same Region of the Mercians, a cer­tain Tyranny rather destroying and dissipating the No­bility of the Realm, then ruling &c. persecuting, ba­nishing, &c. Lest any one, especially of the Royal Blood▪ should be advanced in his Place, he vehemently [...]. The thirty Usurpers in the time of Gallie­ [...] are every where called Tyrants. Paulus Dia­c [...]nus, writing of Valentine in the time of Valentinian, says, He was crushed in Brittany, before he could in­vade the Tyranny▪ and of Maximus, that he was Sto [...] and Valia [...], and worthy of the Empire, [...]ad he not against the Faith of his Oath, raised him­self, per tyrannidem, by Tyranny. In other places Enge [...], Gratian, Constance, Sebastian, created Tyrannis. The Words Tyranny, and Tyranne, and Tyra [...]ous Party, being used often by him, are e­ver opposed to just and Regal Power, never used in any other Sense▪ Widdrington, to the Example of Athalia urged by Bellarmine a­gainst Kings, says she was no law­ful Apolog. 234. Queen, she had seized the Kingdom as an U­surpress by Tyranny▪ the Kingdom belonged to Ioash, in whose Right, and by whose Power she was justly [...]lain—Our most learned Prelate Bishop Abbot of S [...]lisbury tells the Cubs of Loyola [...], Athalia had Antilog. c. 3. snatched, had grasped, and held the Kingdom with no Right, no Title, but by Butchery, Robbery, Rapine, and forcible Entry—and that she was thrown down and killed by the common bounden Duty and Faith of [Page 491] Subjects to their Prince. Baronius a Cardinal, that the Maccabees of Levi or House of the Assamoneans, may not be made Usurpers, matches them with the Royal Line of David, else says he, absque labe Tyrannidis, without the Stain of Tyranny, they could not meddle Apparat. with the Kingdom. Rodolph, Duke of Suevia or Suabenland, set up for a false Emperor by that devi­lish Pope Hildebrand, against the Emperor Henry the IV. is called by the Germans a Tyranne upon this Score. A full Tyranny (says one of our Chief Justices, speaking of the Papal Power in Church-causes here) has two Parts without Right to usurp, and inordinately to rule, and the Statute 28 of King Henry the 8th. against the Papal Autho­rity, calls it an usurped Tyranny, and the Exercise of it a Robbery, and spoyling of the King, and his People.

The Statute 31 Henry the 6th. adjudging Iohn Cade, another Imp of Hell, and Successor of Wat, to be a Traitor, which are the Words of the Title, and all his Indictments and Acts to be void, speaks thus; The most abominable Tyranny, horrible, odious, and arrant false Traitor, Iohn Cade, na­ming himself sometime Mortimer (he and Tyler had two Names) taking upon him Royal Power, &c. by false, subtile and imagined Language, &c. Robbing, stealing, and spoiling, &c. And that all his Tyranny, Acts, Feats, and false Opini­ons, shall be voided, and that all things depending thereof, &c. under the Power of Tyranny, shall be likewise void, &c. And that all Indictments in times coming in like Case under Power of Tyranny, Rebellion, &c. shall be void in Law; and that all Petitions delivered to the King in his last Parlia­ment, [Page 492] &c. against his Mind, by him not agreed, shall be put in Oblivion &c. as against God, and Conscience, &c.

To proceed; The King, because all these Ri­sings were by the Ringleaders protested to be made for him and his Rights, and that the Forces then raised, were raised by his Authority, and all their Actions owned by him, issues out a Proclama­tion from London, to this Effect.

RIchard &c. To all and singular Sheriffs, Mayors, Bayliffs, &c. of our County of N. &c. Because we are given to under­stand; that divers of our Subjects, who a­gainst our Peace, &c. have raised and in divers Conventicles and Assemblys, &c. Do affirm, that they the said Assemblys, and Levies have made and do make by Our Will and Authority, &c. We make known to all Men, That such Levies, Assemblys, and Mischiefs, from Our Will and Authori­ty have not proceeded. (He adds) They were begun, and continued much to his Dis­pleasure and Disgrace, to the Prejudice of His Crown, and Damage of the Realm. Wherefore he injoyns and commands, &c. To take the best Care for the keeping of his Peace, and opposing of all such Levies with a strong Hand: Further, he commands e­very Man to leave such Assemblys, and re­turn Home to his own House under Penalty [Page 493] of Forfeiture of Life, and Member, and all things forfeitable to the King, &c.

These Clowns charge not the King to be trans­sported furiously, and hostily, to the Destruction of the whole People, which can never happen, where the King is in his Wits; but what is fully as mad, they will suppose him to arm against his own Life and Power, against his own Peace, and the Peace of all that love him. This Proclamation put Life into the Royalists, into all honest Hearts, and dismays as much the Rebels; yet after this the Essex Trai­tors, gather again at Byllericay near Hatfield Pe­verel, and send to the King, now at Waltham, to know whether he intends to make good his Grants of Liberties, and require to be made equal with their Lords, without being bound to any Suits of Court, View of Frank-pledge only excepted twice the Year.

The King and his Council are startled at this Impudence. The King answers the Agents, That if he did not look upon them as Messen­gers, he would hang them up: Re­turn Wals. (says he) to your Fellow Rebels, and tell them, Clowns they were, and are, and shall continue in their Bondage, not as hitherto but far more basely trampled on. While we live, and rule this Kingdom, by Gods Will we will imploy all our Means and Power to keep you under: So that your Misery shall frighten all Villains hereafter: And your Posterity shall curse your Memory. At the Heels of the Messenger, the King sends his Unkle Thomas of Woodstock Earl of Buckingham, and Sir Thomas Piercy with a Body of Horse to [Page 494] quell them. The Rebels were intrenched accor­ding to the manner of Li [...]sters Camp, in the midst of Woods; ten Lances of the Avant Currors rout them; the Lords, when they were come up, inclose the Woods round, five hundred are killed, eight hun­dred Horses for Carriage taken, the broken Re­mainders of the Defeat escape to Colchester, a Town ever honest, Wals. and faithful to the Prince, where the Loyal Townsmen would not be gotten to stir; they sol­licite the Townsmen (says the Monk) with much Intreaty, great Threats, and many Arguments; neither Intreaties, nor Threats, nor Arguments would move them. From thence they get to Sud­bury, making every where such Proclamations as of old they had used; where the Lord Fitzwalter (whose Seat was at Woodham-Walters in Essex) and Sir Iohn Harlestone rush suddenly upon them, kill and take them: the King meaning to visit Essex in his own Person, comes to Havering at the Boure, a Mannor of his own Demain, of the Sacred Patri­mony, and from thence to Chelmsford, where he appoints Sir Robert Tresilian, Chief Justice of his Bench of Pleas of the Crown, to sit and inquire of the Malefactors, and Troublers of the Country, and to punish the Offendors according to the Cust­oms of the Realm, known, and visible.

Five Hundred of these wretch­ed Peasants, who had no Mercy Wals. for others heretofore, cast them selves down be­fore the King bare-footed, and with Heads unco­vered, implore his Pardon, which he grants them, on Condition they discover the great Conspira­tors, the Captain Rogues. The Jurors are char­ged [Page 495] by the chief Justices to carry themselves in­differently, and justly in their Verdicts, neither swayed by Love, or Hatred, to favour, or pro­secute any Man: Many upon the Evidence given in, and the finding of the Jury, were condemned to be drawn and hanged; nineteen of them were trussed upon one Gallows. Heading had formerly been the Execution of others in Essex, Kent, and London, because of the Numbers of the Guilty, which was now thought a Death short of the Deme­rits of the most foul and heinous Offenders; where­fore according to the Custom of the Realm, it was decreed (says the Monk) that the Captains should be hanged.

The like was done in other Countrys by the Justices in Commission, where the King was in Person. Here the King with the Advice of his Council, revokes his Letters Patents, the Charters granted to the Clowns: Although (so he speaks) we have in the late detestable Troubles, &c. ma­numised all the Commons, our Liege Subjects of our Shires, and them, &c. have freed from all Bondage and Service, &c. And also have pardoned the same our Liege Men and Subjects all Insurrections by riding, going, &c. And also all manner of Treasons, Felo­nies, Trespasses, and Extortions, &c. Notwith­standing for that the said Charters, were without ma­ture Deliberation, and unduly procured, &c. To the prejudice of us, and our Crown, of the Prelates, and great Men of our Realm; as also to the disherison of Holy English Church, and to the Hurt and Damage of the Common-wealth, the said Letters we revoke, make void, and annul; &c. Yet our Intention is such Grace upon every of our said Subjects to confer, though [Page 496] enormously their Allegiance they have forfeited, &c. As shall be useful to us, and our Realm.

The Close commands to bring in to the King and his Council all Charters of Manumission and Pardon, to be cancelled upon their Faith and Allegiance, and under Forfeiture of all things forfeitable, &c. Witness our self at Chelmsford the 2. of July, and 5th. Year of our Reign. False for the 4th.

In the Case of a Subject (and no reason Kings shall be more bound) every Act extorted by Vio­lence, and Awe upon the Agent, is void. In the Time of Edward the Third, two Thieves (which was the Case here) force a Traveller to swear that he will at a day appointed bring them a thou­sand Pound; and threaten to kill him if he refuse their Oath; he swears and per­forms what he had sworn: By Ad­vice 44 E. 3. 14. of all the Justices these two were indicted of Robbery, and the Court maintains that the Party was not bound by this Oath. Yet if this be denyed as unsafe, Violence, or Force, which strikes a just Fear into any Man, makes any Contract void, say the Casuists.

Bishop Andrews, that most learned Prelate, answers to the Resp. ad Apo'og. pretended Resignation of King Iohn urged by Bellarmine, that what this King did, (if any such Act was done) was done by Force, and out of Fear.

Widdrington, the most Loyal of all Roman-Catholick Priests, Admonit. disp. de jur. fid. l. 1. who writ much against the Gun­powder Jesuits in Defence of the Right of Kings, against those Jesuits who would have cut off the [Page 497] King, the Royal Family, the Bishops of the Eng­lish Catholick Church, the Nobility and Gentry, as their Letter speaks, with one Blow, says of this Resignation, or Donation, if we may (so he) call it so, that it was not freely given. The Je­suits Challenge the perpetual Dictature, or Re­gency of the University of Pontamousson by Bull of Sixtus the Fifth, contrary to the Statutes of the Foundation by Gregory the Thirteenth. Were the Bull true (says Berclay) yet it ought not to be of Force, because it was obtain'd presently af­ter his Creation, when things are presumed to be rather extorted than obtained. Bodin denys that a King deceived or forced can be bound by his Grants. The Justice of Contracts is that alone which binds. The Distinction of Royal and pri­vate Acts is of more Sound than Strength, and answers not the Injustice of the impulsive Violence, which must be naturally vicious every where, and corrupt and weaken the Effects, and cannot be good and bad by Changes, or as to this, or that. Grotius, who loves this Distinction, in another place is positive, There must be Equality in all Contracts. He condemns all Fear, or Awe upon the Person purposely moved for the Contracts Sake, and tells us out of Xenophon of those of Lacedaemon who annulled a Sale of Lands, which the Elians had forced the Owners to pass out of Fear.

A Charter of King Henry the Third imprisoned and forced, is said by Aldenham to be void upon this Reason, and I judge the Justice of this Revo­cation by the Law of England, by which, as our [Page 498] old Parliaments, such Force is Treason. The Fruits of which Exil. Hugh. de le Spencer pat. & fil. were here more justly plucked up than they were planted. He who gives up his Money to Thieves, according to his Oath, may lawfully take it away from them: However they are bound to make Restitution. Nor can any Prescription of time establish a Right of Possession in him, who makes his Seizure upon no other Title Rei furtiva aeter­na authoritas esto. but Plunder and Robbery. The 5th. of this King, the Parliament declares these Grants to be forced and void. E­nough to clear the Honour of King Richard, as to this part.

At Chelmsford the King is informed of the whole History of Mischiefs done at St. Albanes, and resol­ved in Person with all his Guards and Cavalry to ride thither, and sentence the Malefactors with his own Mouth; but Sir Walter Ley of Hartford­shire, fearing the much impoverishing the Country, if the King should make any long Stay there, with such Numbers as then attended him, beseeches him to make a Tryal, whether things might not be com­posed without him, and offers to reconcile the Abbot and Townsmen, if the King would; which was consented to: The King grants him a Commissi­on, and joyns with him Edward Benstude, Geofry Stukely, and others of the Gentry of that County.

The coming of these Commissioners was noised at St. Albans: The fiercest of the Clowns know­ing what they had done was condemned by the Law, and not to be defended, but by Force, [Page 499] which now they had not, began to shake and take Fright, are plotting to get out of the Way. Greyndcob, Lieutenant of the late Idol, comforts them, he perswades to go to Horse; let us meet the Knight (says he) and see whether his Looks promise Peace or not; if not, the Towns about us have engaged, they have associated, and are of our League; we are rich, and cannot want good Fellows, who will assist us while our Monys last. On St. Peters Day this ill-advised Crue meets the Knight upon the Road, who was ignorant of their Resolutions, and conduct him Honourably, according to their Fashion, to the Town: Sir Wal­ter had with him fifty Lances, and some Companies of Archers, listed at random, many of them be­ing of the Churls, and Confederates with them: The Knight cites the Townsmen and their Neigh­bours to appear before him in Derfold, to hear the Pleasure and Commands of the King; they fail not, There he tells them what Forces the King had assembled; how rigorously those of Essex were senten­ced: That the King was highly incensed at the Troubles and Seditions of this place, of which he was the Patron and Defender: That with Great Difficulty he had pro­cured of the King a Commission, by which himself, and others, not Strangers, or Enemies, but their Friends and Neighbours were authorized to do Iustice in the KingsStead; he concludes if they will appease the King, they must find out, and deliver up the Beginners of these Broils, and make Satisfaction to the Lord Abbot, an holy and a just Man, for the Wrong they had done him.

This many of the Hearers approve, and promise to obey. The Knight charges a Jury to be made [Page 500] ready the next Morning, and make what Discove­ry they can, and gives the People Leave to depart. Towards Night he sends for the Jury to his Chamber, intending to have apprehended the Lieutenants, by the Assistance of the Jury, with­out any Noise. These good Men and true know nothing; it was the Case of their Fellows in Mis­chief, and might be their own. They answer in a plain Ignoramus, they can indict no Man, accuse no Man. Amongst all the sounder of these Swine, there was not one who had been Faithless and Disloyal to his Natural Liege Lord, not one Brea­ker of his Peace, not one who could appear so to them.

The Knight seems not to understand the Fals­ness and Cunning of these Hob-nail perjured Jug­lers: He takes another Way, and next requires them within a peremptory time, to bring him the Charters which they had forced from the Monaste­ry; they return after a short Consultation, and in the Abbots Chamber, where the Knight then was, tell him, They dare not obey out of Fear of the Com­mons; what was more, they knew not in whose Custody the Charters were. The Knight grows angry, and swears, they shall not go out of the Chamber till he have them, which they call imprisoning their Persons. Here the Abbot intercedes, and though he knew them as very Knaves and Lyers as any Tyler had set on work, yet he will not (he says) distruct their Honesty; he will leave things to their Consciences, upon which they are freed.

Another Assembly is appointed at Barnet Wood, whither the Villagers about throng in Multitudes. [Page 501] Three hundred Bow-men of Barnet and Berkham­sted, make here so terrible a Show, nothing is done.

The Commissioners privately charge the Gentry, Constables, and Bayliffs to seize in the Night Greyndcob, Cadindon, Iohn the Barber, with some others, and to bring them to Hartford, whither themselves went in all Haste; which was perfor­med: The Esquires and Servants of the Abby, were sent with them to strengthen the Company. This enrages the Townsmen afresh, they gather into Conventicles in the Woods and Fields, so much frightful to the Monastery, that the Abbot, recalls his Esquires, lets the Prosecution fall, and fearfully summons in his Friends to guard him. Greyndcobs Friends take Advantage of this Change, and bail him for three Days, within which time they were either tyed to agree with the Abby, or render up Greyndcob to the Justices again. The Townsmen fierce enough still, yet earnest to pre­serve their Worthy, are content to part with the Charters; but this Greyndcob (more Fool-hardy than wise) would not consent to. Nor does he, as knowing the Stifness of his Clowns whine in a Reli­gious Tone, never used by him.

He prays them to consider how Beautiful Liber­ty is, how sweet, how Honourable: Dangerous Liberty, (says he) is more valuable than safe and quiet Slavery; let us live, or dye with Liberty, in so generous, so honest a Contention, it will be Glorious to be overcome; whatsoever our Fears are, worse we cannot be, then now we are about to make our Selves. Success too doth not so often fail Men, as their own Industry and Boldness: Fear [Page 502] not for me, nor trouble your selves at my Dan­gers, I shall think my self more happy than our Lords, if they prosper, or their King, to dye a Martyr of the Cause, with the Reputation of such a Gallantry. Per tale Marty­rium vitam fini­re. Let such Courage as would have hurryed you forward to all brave and signal Mischiefs, had I lost my Si Hertfordiae, hesterno decolla­tus, &c. Head at Hartford, inflame your heavy Sprights. Methinks I see the Hero Tylers Ghost chiding our sluggish Cowar­dice, and by the Blazes of his Fire-brands kin­dled in Hell, and waved by Fiends about his Head, lead on to noble Villanies.

Let dreaming Monks and Priests tremble at the airy Sounds of God, and Saints; he who fears Thunder-bolts, is a Religious heartless Coxcomb, and shall never climb a Molehill. Thus our bus­kin'd Martyr swaggers, after the Raptures put upon him by Walsingham; Greyndcob's Stubborn­ness hardens on the Clowns, they now accuse themselves of Baseness, that they did not cut off the Knights Head, and nail it on the Pillory, to the Terror (say they) of all Judges, and false Justices. Greyndcob had raised Spirits, which he could not lay when he would.

Three days being expired, he is again sent to Hartford Goal, where he hears News from his Bro­ther, who mediated for him in the Court, not ve­ry pleasing, which he communicates to his Towns­men. His Intelligence was to this Effect; That Richard of Beauchamp Earl of Warwick, and Sir Tho­mas Piercie with a thousand armed Men were appoin­ted to visit S. Albans.

[Page 503] At this Report the Rebels startle, they fall to new Treaties, offer the Charters and Book, in which the old Pleas betwixt the Abby and the Town were recorded, with 200 l. for amends. The Book is received; the rest put off till the next Day. The Earl of Warwick sends only Excuses, he heard his own House was on Fire, that the Clowns of his own Lordships were up, and he leaves all things else to quell them. This raises the fallen Coura­ges of those of Saint Albans, they now laugh at their late Fears, If the Commons, say they, must quit their Right of Conquest, and surrender their Char­ters, yet will not we the (Renowned Mechanicks) of St. Albans be their President. And as in all Tumults (which can never be observed too often) Lying is necessary, and must not be useless, whatsoever else is; they lay the Blame of their Obstinacy up­on the Inhabitants of Barnet and Watford, who threaten (so they would have it believed) to burn their Town if they deliver up their Li­berties.

Which Inhabitants of Barnet and Watford had humbly surrendred theirs before, and submitted to the Kings Mercy: Thus we find these Rebels of St. Albans again swaggering in their old Rhodomon­tadoes. An Esquire of the Abbots acquaints the King with these Turnings, who vows to sit perso­nally in Judgment upon these Everlasting Male­contents.

The Abbot full of Pity and Charity, who had saved some of these Enemies of his House from the Axe by Intercession at London, continues his Goodness still. He sollicites Sir Hugh Segrave, Stew­ard of the Houshold, and others of his Friends, to [Page 504] mitigate the King's Displeasure, and hinder his Journey thither, which was not in their Power. Now again are the Townsmen dejected, and seek by all means to keep off the Tempest, which threatned them: They fee Sir William Croyser a Lawyer to make their Defence, and mediate with the Abbot, wherethere was no Danger: An Agree­ment is concluded the Day of the Kings Entry, by which they would bind the Abbot, not to disclose them, or inform against them.

He promises (if they fail not in Performance on their Part) not to make any Complaints to the King of them; that he would be a Suiter for their Peace, if his Prayers may be heard, but that here he cannot assure them: Pardons were Acts flowing meerly from See 27 A. 1. c. 24. the Kings Grace. No Man had any Power or Au­thority to pardon or remit Treasons, &c. but the King; and whether he could prevail for them, he knew not. This Doubtfulness troubles them, it seems to call their Innocency too much into Question: They tell him, his good Will was sufficient, and that as to what belonged to the Royal Dignity they should satisfie the King.

After Vespers the King made his Entry into the Town, being met by the Abbot and Covent; the Bells rang aloud, and the Monks sang merrily his Welcome: He was followed by some thousands of Bowmen and Cavaliers. In this Train was Sir Robert Tresilian, Chief Justice of the Kings Bench, who the next Day, being Saturday the 13. of Iuly, and first of the Dog-days, sat in Judgment at the Moot-hall (says Walsingham) at the Town­house.

[Page 505] Greyndcob, Cadindon, and Iohn the Barber, are fetched from Hartford, and laid fast till Munday, against which time new Jury-men are chosen, and charged to be ready with their Verdicts: Prophet Baal, the Sergius of the new Alcoran, the Priest of the Idol and his Calves, the Martin of the Yoak, of pure Discipline, of the Eldership, was taken by the Townsmen of Coventry, brought to St. Albans the Day before, and this Saturday condemned by the Chief Justice to be Drawn, Hanged, Beheaded, Imbowelled, and Quartered, which was done on the Munday following.

He confessed to the Bishop of London (to whose Christian Piety he ought the two last Days of his Life, which were begged for his Repentance) that certain hot and powerful Pastors of the Separation, Brethren of simple Hearts, called by the Spirit (he named six or seven) had covenanted and engaged to compass England and Wales round, as Itinerant A­postles to propagate the Gospel, beat down all Abomina­tion of the outward Man, Antichristian Hierarchy, and Tyranny of the Nimrods of the Earth, to cry up the great and Holy Cause, and to spread the Law, Principles, and Heresies of Baal; which Disciples (says this Rabbi) unless they be prevented, and ta­ken off will destroy the Realm in two Years: He might have said two Months, and been believed, as to the Civility, Humanity, Order and Honour (never intermitted but in the Confusion of a barbarous, impious Age) which made England Glorious, they had been destroyed, and torn up in a less time. A few licentious ill Acts easily beget a Custom, and an hundred ill Customs quicklier grow and prevail than one single good one. There [Page 506] is a Proneness in unruly Man to run into Debauch­ments, and no wonder that the arrogant, misled, silly Multitude, capable of any ill Impressions, should deprave and disorder things, where all Ties of Restraint are loofened; nay, where Disorders are not only defended by the corrupt Wits of Hire­lings, but bidden, strengthened by a Law, and Villanies made legal Acts.

Had the Idol King Tyler, with his Council, not gone on too far in the Way of Extermination, but endeavoured to repair the Breaches of his En­trance; it would have been no small Labour to have restored things to any mean and tolerable Condition; if Presbyter Wickliff, and his Classes, by their pernicious Doctrines (as they are charged to this Day) did first pervert and corrupt the People, and broach that Vessel with which Father Baal and Straw poysoned them, they must have rui­ned themselves by the Change; sure enough they had been no more comprehended in any of Tylers Toleration, than the Prelatical or Papistical Party.

In the Turmoils and Outrages of this Tyranny, had it taken, Innocence, Virtue, Ingenuity, Ho­nesty, Faith, Learning, and Goodness had been odious, and dangerous. The Profit, and Advan­tage of the new Usurpers, had been the Measure of Justice and Right: The Noble and Ignoble had died Streets and Scaffolds with their Blood, not by Laws and Judgment, but out of Malice to their Height and Worth, out of Fury and Covetousness to enrich publich Thieves and Murtherers. The Jealousies too and Fears of Tyler, had made all Men unsafe. Yet the Repute, the Renown of the Founders could not have been much. The Glory [Page 507] of Success cannot be greater than the Honesty of the Enterprise; there must be Justice in the Quar­rel, else there can be no true Honour in the Pros­perity. Cato will love the conquered Common­wealth: Iugurtha's Fame, who is said to be Illustri­ous for his Parricides and Rapines, will not make all Men fall down and worship.

On Munday the Fifteenth of Iuly (not of Octo­ber, as Walsingham is mis-printed) the Chief Justice Tresilian calls before him the Jury for Inqui­ry, who faulter and shamelesly protest they can­not make any such Discovery as is desired. The Chief Justice puts them in Mind of the Kings Words to them upon the Way, promising Par­don if they will find out the Offenders; else threat­ning them with the Punishment they should have suffered, who through such Silence cannot be apprehended.

Out they go again, and the Chief Justice fol­lows them: He shews them a Roll of the princi­pal Offenders Names, tells them they must not think to delude and blind the Court with this Im­pudence, and advises them out of a Care to pre­serve wicked Mens Lives, not to hazard their own.

Hereupon they indict many of the Town and Country, which Indictments are allowed by a se­cond Inquest, appointed to bring in the Verdict, and again affirmed by a third Jury of Twelve, charged only for the Fairness of the Tryal: So no Man was pronounced guilty, but upon the finding of thir­ty six Jurors. Then were the Lieutenants Greynd­cob, Cadindon, and Barber, and twelve more con­demned, Drawn, and Hanged. Wallingford, Iohn Garleck, William Berewill, Thomas Putor, and [Page 508] many more; with Eighty of the Country, were Indicted by their Neighbours, and Imprisoned, but forgiven by the King's Mercy, and discharged. They were forgiven most by the Kings Mercy; for he had forbidden by Proclamation, all Men to sue or beg for them, a Command which the good Abbot sometimes disobeyed, and he shall be well thanked for it.

No Benefits can oblige some Men: A true rug­ged Churl can never be made fast, never be tyed by any Merit whatsoever: Nothing can soften him: See an unheard of Shamelesness till then. These lazie, tender-hearted Clowns, who could hardly be got to discover the Guilty, now run with full Speed to betray the Innocent: They indict the Abbot as the principal Raiser, and Contriver of these Tumults, which struck at his own Life, and the Being and Safety of his Monastery. The Abbot, as it is said, sent to Tyler, upon his Ordi­nances, some of the Town and Monastery, but to temporize, and secure himself. This is now sup­posed by the very Traitors indeed, Treason by Com­mon Law and Statute against the King his Natural Liege Lord. This having not the Fear of God in his Heart, &c. but being seduced by the Instigation of the Devil, is compassing the Death, &c. the Depri­vation and deposing of his Soveraign Lord from his Royal State, &c. (as such Indictments use to run) This must goe for levying War against the Lord the King, adhering to, comforting, and aiding his Ene­mies by open Fact; Which are the Words of the Statute of Treason, 25 Edw. 3. declarative of the Common Law.

The Chief Justice, abominating and cursing the [Page 509] treacherous Malice, and Perfidiousness of these Brutes, makes them tear the Indictment which themselves, though urged, are not wicked enough to swear to; nay, which publickly they confess to be false in the Face of the Court.

Villeinage was not now abolished, though some think otherwise, but by Degrees extinguished since this Reign. Besides, the Letters of Revocation be­fore, restoring all things to their old Course, a Commission, which the Abbot procured from the King out of the Chancery, then kept in the Chap­ter-house of this Monastery, makes this manifest; which speaks to this Effect.

RIchard, by the Grace of God, King of Eng­land, and of France, and Lord of Ireland, &c. To his Beloved John Lodo­wick, John Westwycomb, &c. We com­mand you, and every of you, upon Sight of these Presents, &c. That on our Part, forthwith ye cause to be proclaimed, That all and singular the Tenants of our Beloved in Christ, the Abbot of S. Albans, as well free as bond; the Works, Customs and Services, which they to the foresaid Abbot ought to do, and of ancient Time have been accustomed to perform; without any Contra­diction, murmur, &c. Do as before they have been accustomed.

[Page 510] The Disobedient are commanded to be taken, and Imprisoned as Rebels

In the Time of King Henry the Seventh there were Villains. This 11 H. 7. 13. I observe to make it appear, how little it is which the miserable Common People, without whom no famous Mischief can be attained, are Gainers by any of their Riots or Seditions; whatsoever the Chan­ges are, their Condition is still the same or worse. If some few of them advance themselves by the Spoils of the publick Shipwrack, the rest are no happier for it; the insolent Sight offends their Eyes, they see the Dirt of their own Ditches lord it over them, and the Body of them (perhaps) more despised than ever. Tyler (who could not but have known, that nothing can be so Destructive to Government, as the Licentiousness of the base Commons) would doubtless (when his own Work had been done) quickly have chained up the Monster; he would have perched in the Kings sacred Oak; all the Forrest should have been his, Bishopricks, Earldoms, nay the Kingdoms had been swallowed by him. Instead of a just legal Power by which the Kings acted, an Arbitrary, boundless, unlimited Power must have been set up; instead of a Fatherly Royal Monarchy, a Tyranny after the Turkish Mode, a Monarchy Seignioral; and had he brought in upon the Fall of the Christi­an Faith and Worship, which must have followed his Establishment, Circumcision, and the Creed of Mahomet, as the Spirits of Men were than deba­sed, he must have been obeyed. All the Kings Right (and more) must have been his; Sultan [Page 511] Tyler's Prerogative would have been found more grie­vous, more heavy, more killing than all the Yokes and Scorpions of our Kings; no Man when he went to Sleep, could assure himself that one Law would be left next Morning; the Ordinances of Tyler and his Council flew about in Swarms, killing and rooting up the Laws: One Proclamation of this Tyrant's was of Force to blow up the ancient Foun­dation; enough to have made Men mad, if ever they could wake, and understand. When the French had conquered Naples, the People looked for a golden World, they thought their new Master would (as the King of Mexico's Oath u­sed to say) do Justice to all Men, make the Sun to shine, the Clouds to rain, the Earth to be fruit­ful: They promise themselves Liberty, and that the accustomed Imposts of their former Kings of the House of Arragon, should not only be taken off, but the very Word Gabelle driven out of the King­dom, there should be no such thing in Nature left; but foolish Dolts as they were, they found an Alte­ration quickly, instead of a Court Cavalry before (the new Masters ill established and assured, not daring to trust any thing) standing Armies were continually to be kept on Foot; instead of one Tax, intolerable of late, they are oppressed with ten, their Backs and Shoulders crack under the Load.

Upon this Fancy of these abused Italians, says the Historian, This is the Custom, for the most part of all People, weary ever of the present Condition, and inconsiderately gaping after a Change, but they receive such Wages of their fond and disorderly Lightness.

The War undertaken against Lewis the 11th. of [Page 512] France, by the House of Burgundy, Dukes of Berry, Brittain, and Bourbon, called the Weal Publick, was not made against the King (says the Allies) but against evil Order, Injustice in the Government, and for the Publick Good of the Realm. In the Treaty for Peace these fine things are forgotten, the wretched. Peasants torn, and ground with Taxes, left to shift for themselves.

The Prince of the Burgundies demands the Towns upon the Some for himself: Normandy for the Duke of Berry, and other places; Offices, and Pensions for the rest; some Overtures were made for the Weal Publick (says the History) that is all, the Weal Commen. Publick was the least of the Question, the Weal Publick was turned to Weal Particular; Self-seeking was the Sum of the Business. This has been the Fashion of all Rebels hitherto, and will be to the Worlds End. After these Proceedings the Hart­fordshire Men betwixt the Ages of 15 and 60 present themselves according to Command, and take the Oath of Allegiance; they are sworn too to unkennel and apprehend the late Incendia­ries.

The King having now quieted the Commotions removes to Berkhamsted, eight Miles from St. Al­bans; a Royal Castle then, and at Easthamsted where he hunts, is informed, that the Bodies of the Traytors executed were taken down from the Gallows; hereupon he directs his Writ or Let­ter to the Bayliffs of St. Albans, commanding them under Penalty of forfeiting all things forfei­table, to hang up again the said Bodies now rotten, and stinking in Iron Chains, which the Townsmen [Page 513] are forced to do with their own Hands.

A Parliament sitting in May the Fifth Year of this Kings Reign, Iohn Wraw Priest of the Reformation at Mildenhall, and St. Edmunds-bury was taken; and upon the Petition of the House of Commons to the King, judged to be drawn, and hanged. In the same Parliament too it was enacted, That wheresoever any Clowns by six or seven in a Company kept suspicious Conventicles, the Kings good and faith­ful Subjects should lay hold of them, and commit them to the next Gaol Wals. Hypod. without staying for the Kings Writ. In the same Parliament of the King it was made Treason to be­gin a Riot, Rout, or Rumour; by this Parlia­ment, and that of the 6. Provisions are made for those whose Deeds were burnt or destroyed in the late Insurrection, and in the 6. of Richard, the King pardons the Multitudes for their Misdemea­nours in the Tumults. The Clowns now every where return'd to their old Obedience, and the Winds were laid in all their Quarter. Richard, a Prince born for Troubles, shall be turmoyled with the Rebellions of his Peers and Parliaments, depo­sed and murthered by them, yet his Memory shall be Sacred, his Peers and Clowns shall dig for him in his Grave; Posterity too shall owe all things to his Person. After the Death of Maximinius a wicked bloody Iul. Capitol. nefa­rii improbi latro­nis. Thief, a cruel Tyrant, who in­vaded the Roman Empire, Capito­linus recites a gratulatory Letter written by Clau­dius Iulianus a Consul to the Emperors Maximus and Balbinus, whom he calls Preservers and Redee­mers of the Common-Wealth, there the Council tells [Page 514] them they had restored to the Senate (the House of Lords) their ancient Dignity, to the Romans their Laws, Equity, and Clemency established, their Lives, their Manners, their Liberty, the Hopes of Succession to their Heirs. He adds, they had freed the Provinces from the insatiable Covetous­ness of Tyrannies; no Voice, Language, nor Wit can express (says he) the publick Happiness.

King Richard restored to the Church and Uni­versities their Rights and Possessions, to the Nobi­lity their Honour, to the Gentry their Respect, to the Cities their free Trade; the Plenty of his Harvest to the industrious Countryman, Security, Peace, and Liberty to all Orders; what Prince could bestow greater Benefits upon a People? He was the Stator, the Saviour of the Nation, a Na­tion not worthy of him, whose Ingratefulness to his Sacred Head, whose Perfidiousness and Impie­ty in advancing an Usurper upon his Ruins, were punished with a fatal Civil War, which lasted Ages, with an Issue of Blood, which could not be stopped till the true and lawful Heir of this Prince was seated in the Imperial Throne, according to the Faith and Oaths of this People (which whatso­ever may be pretended, no Power on Earth can dis­pence with) and according to the fundamental Laws of England.

FINIS.

A TABLE TO Mr. Iohn Cleveland's WORKS.

A.
  • THe Antiplatonick Page 11
  • The mixt Assembly p. 32
  • Answer to a Pamphlet written against the Lord Dygby's Speech, concerning the Death of the Earl of Strafford p. 100
  • Against Ale p. 304
  • Answer to the Storm p. 383
B.
  • [Page]On Britannicus his Leap three Story high, and his Escape from London p. 247
  • Elegy upon Ben. Johnson p. 310
  • A second Elegy p. 303
  • An Epitaph upon Ben. Johnson p. 353
  • To a Lady that wrought a Story of the Bible in Needle-work p. 359
  • On a Burning-Glass p. 375
C.
  • AN Elegy upon the Arch-bishop of Canter­bury p. 63
  • How the Commencement grows new p. 68.
  • Square Cap p. 70.
  • To the Hectors upon the unfortunate Death of H. Compton p. 181
  • An Elegy upon Doctor Chaderton the first Master of Emanuel Colledge in Cambridge, being above a hundred years old p. 188
  • Ch [...]ronostion Decollationis Caroli Regis p. 193
  • An Elegy upon King Charles the First murther­ed publickly by his Subjects p. 195
  • Christmas Day p. 213
  • Content p. 247
  • [Page] A Sing-Song at Clarinda's Wedding p. 255
  • To his honoured Friend Mr. T. C. that ask'd me how I liked his Mistress being an old Widdow p. 262
  • A Committee p. 208
  • Character of a Country Committee-Man with the Ear-Mark of a Sequestrator p. 72
  • Character of a Diurnal-maker p. 78
  • Character of a London-Diurnal p. 83, 84
  • Cleveland's Letter to a Friend disswading him from his Attempt to marry a Nun p. 117.
  • The Piece of a Common-Place upon Romans the 4th, last Verse p. 123
  • On the Death of King Charles the First p. 219
  • To Cloris, a Rapture p. 309
  • On Christ-Church Windows p. 316
  • The poor Cavalier in Memory of his old Suit p. 327
  • Coach-man of St. James's p. 346
  • Upon one that preacht in a Cloak p. 363
  • Upon Tom of Christ-Church p. 374
E
  • The General Eclipse p. 56
  • Upon Princess Elizabeth born the Night before New Years Day p. 58
  • Epitaph on his deceased Friend p. 228
  • An Epig. to Doulus p. 354
  • [Page] An Epig. on the People of England p. 254
  • The Engagement stated p. 263
  • Elegies on Mr. Cleveland p. 277
  • Of Black Eyes p. 347
F.
  • FUscara or the Bee Errant. p. 1
  • The Publick Faith p. 200
  • Upon a Fly that flew into a Ladies Eye and there lay buried in a Tear p. 231
  • Upon the new Invention of flying with Chymi­cal Magick with a Description of Castle of Com­fort. p. 344
  • The Flight p. 358
G.
  • ON a little Gentleman profoundly Learned p. 297
  • The old Gill p. 306
H
  • THe Hecatomb to his Mistress p. 8
  • Upon an Hermaphrodite p. 19
  • The Author to his Hermaphrodite made after Mr. Randolph's Death, yet inserted into his Poems p. 21
  • On the happy Memory of Alderman Hoyl that hanged himself p. 210.
  • [Page] Cleveland's Letter to the Earl of Holland, the Chancellor of the University of Cambridge p. 113
I.
  • TO Julia to expedite her Promise p. 6
K.
  • UPon the Kings Return from Scotland p. 24
  • The Kings Disguise p. 46
  • On the Memory of Mr. Edward King drowned in the Irish Seas p. 61
  • To the King recovered from a fit of Sickness p. 299
  • To the King p. 360
L.
  • ALenten Litany p. 202
  • The London Lady p. 235
  • A Letter sent from a Parliament Officer to Mr. Cleveland p. 92
  • Mr. Cleveland's Reply p. 93
  • The Officers Rejoynder p. 95
  • Mr. Clevelands Answer p. 97
M.
  • [Page]A Young Man to an old Woman courting him p. 17
  • An old Man courting a young Girl p. 224
  • Upon Sir Thomas Martin, who subscribed a Warrant thus, We the Knights and Gentle­men of the Committee when there was no Knight but himself p. 55
  • Upon a Miser who made a great Feast and the next Day dyed for Grief p. 59
  • Mark Anthony p. 65
  • The Authors Mock-Song to Mark Anthony p. 67
  • May-Day p. 251
  • Myrtle Grove p. 259
  • Mount Ida, or Beautys Contest p. 229
  • Model of New Religion p. 245
  • To his Mistress p. 334
  • Upon the Marriage of the young Prince of O­range with the Lady Mary p. 348
  • To his Mistress p. 354
N.
  • A Fair Nymph scorning a Black Boy cour­ting her p. 16
  • To the Memory of the Earl of Northampton [Page] slain in the Beginning of the Civil War p. 233
  • News from Newcastle or New-Castle Cole-pits p. 286
  • Cleveland to the Earl of Newcastle p. 112
  • The Answer to the Newark Summons p. 129
O.
  • Orations in Latin upon divers occasions, begin­ning at Page 132 and ending at p. 177
  • Oliver Protector sick 383
P.
  • UPon Phillis walking in a Morning before Sun-rising p. 13
  • The Hue and Cry after Sir John Presbyter p. 30
  • Platonick Love p. 211
  • On the Right Reverend Father in God John Prideaux Bishop of Worcester p. 214
  • Mr. Cleveland's Petition to the Protector af­ter a long Durance in Prison p. 109
  • Upon Parsons the great Porter p. 303
  • On his going by Water by the Parliament House p. 304
  • The Anti-Platonick p. 324
  • A Sight of the Ruin of St. Pauls Church p. 335
  • [Page] The Definition of a Protector p. 343
  • The Puritan p. 355
  • The Parliament p. 366
  • On the May Pole p. 369
  • A zealous Discourse between the Parson of the Parish and Tabitha p. 380
Q.
  • TO the Queen upon the Birth of one of her Children p. 308
  • To the Queen p. 329
  • A Relation of a Quaker, to the shame of his Profession, attempted to buggar a Mare p. 336
  • To the Queen upon the Birth of her first Daughter p. 361
  • To the Queen p. 372
R.
  • REbel Scot in English and Latin p. 37
  • Rupertismus p. 49
  • A Hue and Cry after the Reformation p. 206
  • The Model of the new Religion p. 245
  • To Prince Rupert p. 272
  • The Rustick Rampant or Rural Anarchy affronting Monarchy in the Insurrection of Wat Tyler by J. C. a large Tract beginning at page 387 and ending at p. 499
S.
  • [Page]TThe Senses Festival p. 4
  • Smectymnuus, or the Club Divines p. 27
  • Epitaphium Thomae Spell Coll. Divi Johan­nis Praesidis p. 65
  • Scots Apostasie p. 182
  • Epitaph on the Earl of Strafford p. 185
  • Mary's Spiken [...]rd p. 189
  • Survey of the World p. 221
  • For Sleep p. 295
  • Against Sleep p. 296
  • A sad Suit in a petitionary Poem sent by a poor Scholar to his Patron p. 325
  • Second Part of Scots Apostacy p. 340
  • Song of Sack p. 364
  • Upon Sheriff Sandbourn p. 376
  • The Schismatick p. 378
  • A Sermon p. 380
T.
  • TO Mrs. K. T. who asked him why he was dumb, writing Calente Calamo p. 15
  • The Times p. 239
  • On the Inundation of the River Trent p. 291
  • On one that was deprived of his Testicles p. 353
  • [Page] A Time Sonnet p. 365
  • Not to travel p. 377
V.
  • Vituperium Uxoris, or the Wife-hater p. 267
W.
  • Cleveland's Letter to the Earl of Westmor­land p. 114.
  • Wife-hater, why Women were made p. 265
  • On an ugly Woman p. 298
  • Upon Wood of Kent p. 315
  • Upon a Talkative Woman p. 339
Y.
  • ON I. W. A B of York p. 182
  • Upon the Birth of the Duke of York p. 301
Z.
  • A Dialogue between two Zealots upon the &c. in the Oath p. 25

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