The Famous HISTORY OF Auristella.
THE City of Seville, the renowned and Opulent Emporium of all Spain, gave me Birth, to which my Father retired [Page 4] and settled ever since he had solemniz'd the Marriage with my Mother, whose Father was honourable and rich, and had left her at his Death a considerable Fortune, which he had acquired by the many important Emploies in his Majesties Service in that eminent Port, where they passed many years in Love and Splendor, until my unfortunate Self was born, being the last and onely Surviving Offspring from their Marriage Bed. My Name Philander, so called in remembrance of my Mothers Father, whose Name was Philander [Page 5] de Taurello's—
My Mother (whome I merited not to know) being dead through the unhappy Travil she suffered in bringing me into the world, I remained from my tender Infancy subject to such Incommodities, wherewith such are most commonly brought up with, who are deprived of their Maternal care and kindnesses; altho' that misfortune was in some measure repayed by the Education which I had in the Noble Family of Cosmos my Father. But the tender love which he had for my Mother, so much augmented [Page 6] that loss and his affliction, that he could receive no comfort, notwithstanding the assiduous Artifices of his best friends to effect it; insomuch, that this fatal Blow at once took from him all Joy, Health and Tranquillity of Mind, and made him a deplorable Picture of Tears and Grief. But at lenth, observing that the highest part of his misery was caused by continuing in that same place, where had passed his Youth in the enjoyment of his Dearest Spouse: he resolved and prepared to remove from all that did so continually [Page 7] torment his Memory; and to leave the Kingdom of Spain his once so beloved Country, selling some of his Estate which he converted into money, and leaving the rest towards the support and maintenance of me his Son: he embarqued on a Man of War bound for Ostend in Flanders, whither in few daies the favourable Winds brought him; but 'ere he went he committed me to the Conduct of one of my Uncles, who was his Brother. My Fathers health was wholly restored him in that Foreign Country, where we heard [Page 8] he lived so content and honourable, that we lost all hopes of seeing him again; not doubting but that he would forget those regards which his proper Bloud might almost challenge from him, by the increase of his Fortune and Honour, if Providence had not altered his design in the manner I am about to describe.
A Gentleman of Quality of the Kingdom of Castile, a Native of the City of Toledo, whose Name was Lorenzo D'spado, having spent a considerable Fortune which he possessed, had reduced his honoorable Family [Page 9] to that extream want, that it had scarcely wherewith to subsist: at length he resolved, (hoping to raise his Fortune in another Country, and to avoid the troublesome disgraces in his own) to take the same Voiage as my father did, leaving, however with many sentiments of sorrow the company of his dear Wife, and his beautiful young Daughter, whose name was Auristella, his chiefest Joy. Yet his Wifes and her Tears and Sighs (which might have softned Marble) could not change his resolution; therefore they must submit [Page 10] to this Voyage and the loss of his company for the space of ten years, which he determined to stay from them.
As he had but little of his Estate left, yet what remained he gave for the use of of his Wife and Daughter, and requested them to be advised in all their Affairs by his antient and faithful servant Andreo Scordos, (a Biscaner by Birth) who was likewise his Kinsman, and one whom he loved as entirely as if he had been his son, and in whom he had great reason to confide, which was the greatest comfort he was able to frame to [Page 11] his discomposed thoughts in those great afflictions.
His good Fortune or my unhappy Star rather, guided him (when landed in Flanders) to go to Brussels, having changed his name as is customary with the Spaniards, when they are in Foreign Lands; who also are wont to conceal their Qualities that they may be induced to seek a maintenance most profitable. He Arrived about the time my fathers Lieutenant Collonel was slain, and my father being then at Brussels, and accidentally meeting Lorenzo D'spado, (who being educated together in their Youth at Salamanca) [Page 12] both were surprised to see each other; and after many generous and affectionate Congratulations, made friendly enquiries of each others condition; which being fully made known; my father, by the great interest his good fortunes had acquired him from the noble Governour of those Provinces, quickly got his favourable consent, that Lorenzo should be his Lieutenant Collonel, representing him to be of a noble Extraction, and one that was fitly qualified for such a Command. It so happened, that Lorenzo D'spado soon got great [Page 13] honour by his prudent Conduct, having also an Office conferred on him, by which he grew very rich in few years.
But at length the Air of that Country not agreeing with his health, and above all desiring to return to his dear Country of Spain; he one day took an occasion to tell my father the resolution which he had taken. It is difficult to express the grief my father had in the fear to lose so gallant a Companion and antient a friend, when he was informed of his intended return, therefore he made his [Page 14] chiefest prayers and applications to him, that he would not leave those parts, and conferred about the best waies and means to re-establish his health. Besides, he made use of many Artifices and plausible pretences whatever he could invent to alter his resolution, and perswade his stay; but all in vain, for Lorenzo, who could never appear insensible of the many graces he had received from the Governour, and other Nobles of that Country, as well as from my father, thought that it was now high time no longer to disguise the [Page 15] reasons that further obliged him to return, and for some time to quit his Emploies. The most important were to see his dear Wife and Daughter, and to retrieve an antient Estate, which had been mortgaged, and would be forfeited, and therefore it was fit to get that and other things settled to his liking, and for the good of his family; and when his health permitted he would again return to Flanders.
Those reasons were so evident that my father had nothing to reply, which did not only satisfie, but also for a particular love to his [Page 16] company, made him himself to think of returning to; considering also, that in his heart the love for his own family and Country did not a little oblige him to do so, having now also got a fair Fortune to make him the more welcome.
Thus concerting their interest, love to their Families, and the high esteem of each others Company, they both resolv'd to leave Flanders; which that they might do with all possible Honour and Respect, they both took leave of that Court, which did dispense with their just and important reasons for [Page 17] some time; so they both prepared together to ship at Ostend, from whence after a happy Navigation, they arriv'd at the famous Port of San Lucar, where all the Relations of my Father went to meet him, having receiv'd Letters of Advice by the Post to that purpose. But e're they came to Land, my Father had entertained Lorenzo with his fervent Desires to coment their friendship, that it might be never altered; and just before they left the Ship, he took occasion to speak to him in these terms. I do not doubt (dear friend) but that you are satisfied [Page 18] of my Friendship, as I am assured of yours, therefore I much wish that our separation may not lessen it, and nothing in the World may be capable to destroy it. And to perpetuate it, I have meditated one expedient (if you please to approve it) that it may be eternal, which is to make an Alliance between us by the marriage of your Daughter to my Son, if it has pleas'd Heaven to let them live which we now at our landing shall quickly know) You see I communicate to you the inmost recesses of my Soul, and it will be [Page 19] your part now to let me frankly know your resolution herein. Lorenzo answered him with tears of joy, which evidenced the consent of his heart to his Proposals, and soon granted him his Daughter, which he demanded for me; protesting to him that he was master of his Life, Honour & of his good Fortune; and so they fell to embrace each other. That done, they both came on shore, where my Kindred and my self, who were all ready come to San Lucar, in expectation of him, saluted them with much joy; my Father [Page 20] having been wanting fourteen years, and I then but six when he quitted Spain and went for Flanders.
My Father having taken solemn leave of Lorenzo, was impatient of all delaies that might obstruct his seeing his ancient place of Residence; and we came to Seville, to the unspeakable satisfaction of our Friends and Relations. My Father told me of the Marriage he had agreed on for me, which I disposed my self to obey with all Pleasure and Delight, and had prepared my self accordingly for my departure, to wait on the fair [Page 21] Auristella, my intended Wife. In few dayes after a Courier was sent from Lorenzo (as was agreed he should) to advertise that he was safely come to his own abode at Toledo. Who can imagine the mutual joyes of his Wife, Daughter, and Friends, for his safe return; but surely mine were not less than theirs, especially since the Messenger had represented to me the incomparable Qualities and Virtues of Auristella; and that she was the most renowned Beauty of all Castile, which made me believe I should never soon enough see the [Page 22] hour of my departure for Toledo. He gave an account also, by his Letter, that he found to his extream content, his Wife and Daughter in perfect health. He gave them also an account how he had spent his time, and what great Honours he had attained in his Travails, and of the Marriage that was concerted with my Father, which was received with the general applause of his Family, Kindred, and Friends, who were resolved to make honourable preparations for all things necessary for our Marriage. And now the time of my departure being [Page 23] come, I had my Fathers Blessing, and went to take leave of one of my intimate & particular Friends, named Bennato, of whom I shall speak more in the pursuit of this Discourse, then taking Post, with some of my People, I arrived in four daies at the renowned City of Toledo, and went strait to my Mistresses Father's House; I had no sooner quitted my Stirrup, but instead of finding all the Joy and Welcome I expected, I saw nothing but an extream confusion, and abundance of Tears, Sadness and Grief, which infinitely surprised [Page 24] me, although I were received with many marks of satisfaction, my presence seeming an evident Consolation to that afflicted Family, from whom I was immediately informed; (shewing me the Body of Andres their antient Domestick servant the Biscaner (whom I before mentioned) which was extended on a black Cloth, pierced with five cruel Wounds; which Body was found near the Gate of their House that very morning, wrapped up in bloody Linnen, without knowing or imagining who how or when it was put [Page 25] into that deplorable state, although they used all possible diligence to discover the Author of his Death: They related to me the friendship that Lorenzo had for him, the confidence he had in him, the good service he had done, and particularly during his absence; that I could not condemn the resentments of his unfortunate End, nor the strange reception I found. This occasioned hower the delay of our Marriage for two daies, which seemed so many long years; for having seen the fair Auristella, and enjoyed her lovely society, my desires [Page 26] were inflamed with greater violence.
At last, the happy day was come, and the night so mutually desired; But alas! no sooner was I faln asleep, but the hands and cries of Auristella awakened me in a strange afright, lowdly calld me to the assistance of her Fathers House, which at the same time was consuming by dreadful flames: I hastily put on my Gown, and immediately ran from my Apartment, being lighted by the sparkling Flames that this pitiless Element sent upwards to its Sphear; then running to the place where [Page 27] they appeared most violent, I met Lorenzo, his Wife and others of the Family; and in a moment (the Bell giving the occustomed Signal) all the Neighbourhood being alarmed, came and used all possible diligence to put some stop to the force of the Fire. All the House being filled with noises and cries, in that confusion I saw and heard my Auristella, my greatest and chiefest care in this misfortune was for her, to whom I came, being called by the sad Ecchoes of her Sighs; I found her in a Swoon, between the arms of her loving Mother [Page 28] near to a deep Well, where all the servants were, which redoubled my afflictions, when they told me that the cause of that mortal Aecident was no less dolorous than the death of the miserable Biscaner; and that a young Damosel, named Mariana, servant to Auristella (employing her self among the rest to draw water out of the Well to give it to others to quench the Fire) was faln into it in the sight of her Mistris, and was therein drowned before she could be taken up, but when with much adoe she was taken out, it did so [Page 29] much augment the Tears of the Mother and Daughter, who loved her dearly, having bred her in their service from her Childhood, that nothing was able to comfort them; and I could add less consolation to them than others in the pitiful Estate which these sad adventures had reduced me to.
In fiine, Time which is a Grand Master, heald all these troubles though they still seemed present to my remembrance as sad Auguries and unhappy Presages of our Marriage.
Having passed some months at Toledo, I received [Page 30] Letters from my Father to require my return, and Auristella took leave of her Parents. (which was not performed without many Tears) We set forwards, and Bennato with us, who returned from the Court to Seville, from whence he went about the same time as I did; he came very opportunely, and was so kind as to keep us company, by which means our Journey seemed very agreeable. At length we came to my Fathers House, where we were expected with much impatience, by whom and our Kindred we were received [Page 31] with many marks of the greatest welcome, which much contributed to moderate the griefs which Auristella by being now removed from her own Parents. We had convenient Lodgings assigned us, where we were daily visited by my dear Friend Bennato: I lived so contented a life with my dear Auristella, that I could hardly consent to be one moment from her; but the Fates envying my Repose, permitted me not longer to enjoy the pleasures which I had done above four years past. The friendship which was contracted [Page 32] between Bennato and my self was so great, that seldome a day passed without an interview; he coming to me or I to him, and we lived with such conformity as if we had lain in the same Belly, and been nourished with the same Bloud. But one day that Bennato could not meet me, nor I him, (being as it were jealous of each other, attributing it to some neglect) which would at the same time give some marks of our careful respect; and seeing it was late, I resolved to wait for him at his Lodging, and he at the same time came to mine, [Page 33] with design not to stir from thence till I returned.
Auristella, who was indisposed, kept her Bed, near whom Bennato staid expecting my return, whilst I weary with expectation of him, at length came home, remitting my Visit to some other time: But finding the Door shut, (which was never done when I was abroad) I knockt several times e're it was opened. I must protest that this gave me some slight suspition; I drew near to a little Crany, which appeared through the ill-joyned Boards, to see or hear what passed in the [Page 34] House; would Heaven had rather made me blind than permitted me to have had such a Curiosity! I saw a Slave descending, carrying a man on his shoulders towards the Garden-door, where leaving him, he came and opened that at which I stood. One may judg of the trouble and alteration that this sight gave me: I no sooner entred, but I ran to the Garden, where I perceived a man to hide himself among the Myrtles, which more than my Transport was the cause of his Death. For being not well able to put himself in a posture [Page 35] of Defence, nor disengage himself from the Branches of the Trees; I with my drawn Sword gave him three thrusts through the Body, e're I could (through excess of my blind passion) observe that he called me by my name, or tell me who he was. At length falling at my feet, I observed it was my intimate and faithful Bennato, whom I had treated with this inhumane severity. I was so surprised, that I remained dying as he, who with a feeble voice requested me to cause a Confessor to come unto him. I had lost all [Page 36] sense knowing the Crime I had committed, and could not but with some pain hearken to his last words, which proved his Innocence and my Injustice. My dear Philander, (said he) is it possible that Heaven should consent, that the Sword of my best Friend should give my mortal Wound?
In what has your Bennato offended, that you with so much cruelty should resolve to avenge your self? But I wrongfully complain against you; I forgive you my Death, it was a scruple ill-grounded that I had, that being alone near Auristella, [Page 37] (and your Door being shut) you might not suspect her hnour or my fidelity, which I call Heaven to Witness, has alwaies been for you inviolable—Death gave him no more time, but shut his Eyes; he yielded up his Soul within my arms. I know not how, that mine took not the same way, being so oppressed with Grief and Repentance. I was at length constrain'd to quit this unfortunate Corps, and went to Auristellas Apartment, where I found her not, nor in all the House, through which I heard nothing but the cries of her Maids, who [Page 38] were seeking their Mistress, when suddenly one of them told me she had cast her self (in her Shift) out of the window into the street, having been inform'd of the death of innocent Bennato, fearing that in my furious indignation, I might not give her time to justifie her self. That same Maid related also to me, how Auristella had oblig'd him to do what he did, because that hearing of the knocks I gave at the Gate (which one of my people had shut unawares) she apprehended that I would enter into some just suspition of her. Ah! dear Bennato, [Page 39] said she, wherefore did your prudence permit it self to be governed by the ill grounded fears of a Woman? I was a thousand times about to take vengeance on my self, of the tragical end of my friend, but Heaven thought it not fit, that it might reserve me for something more cruel.
I could not yet have any news of Auristella, whom I sought in vain, therefore I concluded 'twas best for me to hide my self; so leaving the House in that confusion, (as cannot easily be imagined) I went to the Convent of the Carthusian [Page 40] Fathers, who recieved me with all possible humanity, and secur'd my unhappy Life, which has been destined to infinite troubles, a thousand times worse than death it self; I was privately visited by my particular friends, who took all imaginable pains to represent my innocence, and procure my pardon.
Auristella was retired to a Nunnery, as soon as she recovered her fall into the street, which was not without much hurt, and with some difficulty first got, as well as she could, to a House which she saw open, and [Page 41] there discovered to the master what she was, who charitably received her. But the next morning they were informed with what diligence the Officers of Justice searched after her and me, and therefore they thought it convenient to lead her to a Nunnery. I had notice thereof all most as soon as it was done, which gave me as much comfort as I was capable to recieve, but Heaven would not that I should long have it, and I was but at the beginning of my miseries.
All these mortal discontents so strongly seiz'd on [Page 42] Auristellas heart (together, with the dismal bruises she receiv'd by her fall) that she fell into a great sickness, her memory perpetually tormenting her, with the consideration to find her self exposed to the evil tongues of the people, guessing at what risque her Honour and Reputation was subjected; so that in few dayes there was a period put to her unhappy Life. But first she applied her self to the superior of that Nunnery, to whom she gave sealed, written with her own hand, and requested that it might be instantly delivered unto me; I received [Page 43] it about the same time as I heard of the deplorable news of her death. Nothing is capable to express the griefs of my Soul, the alination of its Faculties, and the subversion of my Senses: I was a long time (as it were) hovering betwixt death and life, which was protracted onely to bring eternal afflictions on me. And to conclude this mournful Discourse, behold what remains to be further known in the proper terms of the Letter to me.
Auristella to Philander.
THE Day is come (my Dear Philander) on which I must pay to Death an inevitable Debt: 'Tis an execution of that rigour, which no person can be exempted from. Although I have resentments of all that humane weakness can on such occasions produce; he who stands ready to be my Judg, truly knows that the greatest torment which I suffer, is to be separated from your amiable Company; and my chiefest sadness, is not able once [Page 45] more to see you, to bid you farewel, to clear up your suspitions, and to assure you of my fidelity; which has been inviolable, ever since the happy day of our Marriage, to the last moment of my Life. And since I am come to the time to speak the truth which relates to the Eternal Salvation of my Soul. It is but just dear Philander, that you be informed as well as the whole world, of a Secret which I have so long concealed to the prejudice of my Conscience. Read carefully this Letter, and you will pardon my offence, (if it be true [Page 46] that it was done against your Honour) to have done a thing which was executed against my consent, against my will, and before vve vvere married. I persvvade my self that you vvill do Justice to my Innocence, that my Reputation be not stained either before you, or before those vvho shall have notice of my misfortune.
I doubt not but you still remember the unhappiness which so much afflicted our Family on the day you came to Toledo, which possibly might prognosticate the present disgraces. You may call to mind also the [Page 47] diligence which was used to find the Assassinate of our Andreo the Biscaner, which then proved unsuccessful; and still might be so to the Day of the last Judgment, if this which is my last did not oblige me to declare, and protest that my unhappy Self was his Murdress; his infamous Treachery will I hope obtain my pardon at the Sovereign Tribunal, next to my extream and hearty repentance for my sins. Know then dear Philander, that no sooner had the Biscaner been informed of my Fathers Return; and that our Marriage was concluded [Page 48] on, but he fell sick of a Feaver, which in the beginning seemed very dangerous: my Parents who loved him as their own Child, procured the most renowned Phisitians of the City to attend him, who could find no remedy that could relieve him, and said his Malady proceeded from an excess of Melancholy, which made our whole Family very mournful for him. The Night before you came thither, he made me know (to my utter ruine) what it was that reduced him to that miserable condition —
[Page 49]It was about Midnight (yet I was not asleep) that I heard some walking in my Chamber, where to my sorrow I was that Night without a Bed-fellow, and opening the Curtains of my Bed, I saw our sick Biscaner appear, whom I supposed to have some Delirium by the excess of his Feaver: and I not seeming to be angry for his audacious coming into my Chamber (and so late at night when I was laid in Bed) spoke to him in as affable a manner as if I had been his Sister, and far (Heaven knows) from suspecting any ill design against [Page 50] me. But he with a profound sigh, looking on me with a furious eye, spake to me in these Terms—
It is most certain Auristella, that the grief I feel can have no remedy but from your hands, in which is my Life: You have obligations enough which I hope will deter you from being ungrateful to me for the good offices and services I have rendred you, and in a time too, when your cruel Father treated me with so much rigour. I waited not for a requital of the pains I took in your Education, nor of that which I [Page 51] suffered in his absence, towards the subsistance of his Family, with honour; all which I did with a kind of delight and satisfaction; in hopes nevertheless of some acknowledgment; at least to have granted me to pass my remaining daies in the beloved Company of the fair Auristella, which Joy I am about to be deprived of with so much Injustice. This therefore is my greatest Malady, which encreases in proportion to the approaching time, to see you in the power of another: Wherefore I come resolv'd, not to leave your Chamber [Page 52] without the recovery of my health, & assurance that you shall be mine: If I lose my Life, let me be your Husband first, for just Heaven has reserved that Honour and good Fortune for me alone. I expect no other answer from you, but the giving me your hand: You cannot defer it, nor do I fear you are able to find the means to avoid it, since the accomplishment of my desires is now in my power; for I will deprive you of Life with this Poniard in the same instant, that you shall make the least resistance to give me satisfaction. So he [Page 53] took his Poniard from his Cincture, which he presented to my Throat▪ which so much affrighted me, that it was a long time e're my Tongue could pronounce any thing; sometimes considering the peril of my Honour, and then I was surprised with excess of fear of my death, which is natural to our Sex; which made me thoughtful either to avoid my Death, or put my Chastity out of danger. To divert his resolution without reproaching his Treachery, I endeavoured to sweeten him by the tendrest Words could utter, and promised [Page 54] him with a thousand Oaths I would be his Wife; and believing that he would at present content himself by my permitting him my hand (as he at first demanded) I gave it him, but he no sooner had it, e're I found my self drawn into his arms, and my strength failing me in the affright I was in, I could not prevent his disposal of me as he pleased: But just Heaven (to which all the complaints of my afflicted Soul ascended) did not permit the chastisement which this offence and Treachery merited to be long deferred, for he received it from my [Page 55] own hands with his own proper Poniard. The resentment of my shame animating my weakness with an undaunted courage. As soon as I found him fast asleep I took my revenge, and seizing of that fatal Weapon which before had overawed me — I thrust it through his heart, and by many other stabs, which I redoubled, I made a large gap for his perfidious Soul to pass; and without being heard, I wrapt his miserable Corps in my sheets drencht in his own Bloud, and dragg'd it out, and left it near to our House. This [Page 56] was not the end of my disgraces, for when I saw you come they did afresh renew; and if I had not been prevented by the fears of punishment in another world, I had made the same Sacrifice of my own life; because I was afraid, and did believe I could never hide my infamy from you. But in this desperate imagination, I found some comfort in thinking that Mariana might be now very useful to me, who having been bred up with me from her Infancy, bore part in my most secret thoughts and actions; & yet I knew not how to declare [Page 57] to her what was come to pass, till the fatal Melancholly into which I was plunged, and in a time when I should shew the greatest joy, gave her the first occasion to ask who did conjure me, with much earnestness, to let her know the true cause of it, so that I saw my self obliged to tell her all without disguising the least particular, and being not able, but by her means to find any remedy for my affliction; I put my life and honour into her hands, and after I had importuned her by all that I found the most powerful and sacred [Page 58] to perswade her; (as much as my necessity and the time would permit) I made her at length to condescend to my request, which was to put her self in my place on my Wedding-night, being certain of her honesty and virtue: I believed, I might by that deceit prevent the suspition which you must perceive by me, and I forbear to apprehend—
Mariana with great perswasions, and not without much difficulty, consented, not only for the loss of what she held the dearest thing in the World, but for the uncertainty of success in this [Page 59] subtle Affair. But at last she resolvd to extricate me from the Labyrinth I was in, and put off all other considerations; which did succed as I hoped it would; for as soon as you came to Bed, and the Lights with-drawn, I desired you to permit me to make a prayer before an Image in my Chamber, to perform a vow I had made. I arose, and Mariana, whom I had concealed, was ready, and easily took fit time to put her self in my place. But after some time, seeing she (contrary to the orders I gave) remained with you, I suspected she was well pleased [Page 60] to stay in your Arms, or else she migt also fall asleep; and hearing that the clock struck three, I began to conclude I was in extream peril, considering that it was impossible to awake her & you not perceive me. When taking counsel from my jealousie, I descended softly into the Hall, where I put as many combustible things as I could find, and placed them next the Tapistry, and with a Candle put all in a flame, and quickly returned to your Chamber, assuring my self that the confusion which this accident would put you in, [Page 61] would not permit you to make any reflection or nice remembrances, and that hearing my voice, you would immediately go to the assistance of the House, which accordingly you did, and so you left me alone with Mariana, so transported with anger against her, for the too long time she staid with you, for the disorder which she was the cause of, and the loss which must necessary follow; that I was almost resolved to thrust her through the Body with your Sword. To these considerations, I joyned such as might succeed, apprehending [Page 62] the consequence of what had passed between you and her, at least to find my self a continual slave to the faith and inconstancy of a maid, which necessity alone had subjected to my service: In fine, I went down with her to the Well, where our servants were busie to draw Water, and whilst they went and came, I believing I had an happy opportunity to disentangle my self from the confusion I was in, I commanded her to draw some Water also, and observing carefully, that none perceived me, I with much ease pushed her [Page 63] into the Well, where leaving her some time strugling with her last Agony, and supposing her to be certainly drowned, dissembling my ingratitude and cruelty, I made loud Outcries, and shed a Torrent of Tears (so well feigned) that you as well as the rest of the Family believed that no one could be more afflicted than I appear to be.
That horrible offence, and this abominable sin, wherewith I have so highly offended Heaven, have drawn down all the miseries and just punishments of your unhappy Auristlla, who [Page 64] still loved and respected you with all imaginable fidelity and constancy, of which Truth both Heaven and Earth are Witnesses.
Thus my dear Philander, I request of you (as the last Grace you can confer on me) to believe that your Reputation was never blasted by any deportment of mine. I could have concealed what I now inform you of, but I would that by the sincerity of this Declaration you may the better judg of my Words, which is all the consolation that remains in my afflicted heart; and I recommend to you to do such things as a Zeal so [Page 65] Christian-like, as yours will both prompt and oblige you to, but more particularly that you would make satisfaction (as much as is possible for you to do) for those two cruel Murders, which is the only thing that does and ought to torment me in this World.
Auristella died the same day, and I immediatly left Seville, hoping that Heaven would be so propitious to take me out of this Land of the Living, where now I write this Tragical History, that I may be soon rejoyned to my amiable and faithful, though unhappy Auristella.
The Pleasant Story of the Life of PAUL of Sigovia.
I am of Sigovia, my Fathers Name is Clement Paul, a Native of the City; (Heaven take his Soul) to speak the truth, he was by Trade a Barber; he married Aldonce Saturna of Revola who had the reputation not to be the best Christian of that Country; and there might be made very pleasant Remarks on both their Lives, for he passed for a dextrous Thief, and she for [Page 67] the most expert person of the Kingdom in the Traffick of Maidenheads; the breach whereof she would so well repair, that they seemed better than whole-new; but I will not so much enlarge on the Subject of their many famous Exploits, that I may the sooner give you a particular account of my own.
I was early put to School, where I contracted friendship with the son of Don Alonso Coronello, a person of Quality, which served me not a little to parry against the subtle calumnies which the Schollars made at me; [Page 68] some calling me Don of the Lance, and others Don of the Wind; in fine, I was their Butt at which they shot a thousand raileries of this nature, and I had not wit enough to repel them, as you may judg by a simplicity I am to relate to you. One day as I was walking the Street with my friend Don Diego Coronello, we met a man named Pontius Daguira, a man of publick employ; Don Diego bid me call him Pontius Pilate, which to divert him I did, but the man became so fiercely angry, that drawing his Knife pursued me to my Masters [Page 69] House, where I saved my self, but to appease him, my master lustily whipt me, asking at every lash he gave me, will you sirrah say Pontius Pilate again? you may believe I promised I would not. This made so dreadful an impression on my spirits, that the day following, I being called to say my Prayers, instead of saying (as in the Creed) he suffered under Pontius Pilate, I said he suffered under Pontius Daguira: Judg you now if this simplicity made them not to laugh enough at me?
It happened not long after (the Time of Carnival) [Page 70] a King of the Schollars was to be made; (a pleasant custom in those Parts) and the Lot fell on me, and therefore I requested my Parents to send me a proportionable Equipage for my new Dignity. The day being come for our public Parade, I appeared mounted on a Horse, who through his very weakness rather than civility, so walked as if he was making reverence; he had his Flank like a Monkey, and a swelling like a Camel, being blind and without a Tail; in fine, moving from one side to another, with the gravity of a [Page 71] Pharisee, and my companions walking on foot near me, we came to the Market-place amongst the Fruiterers, my Horse being almost famished, greedily seized on a Cabbage, and almost made but one swallow of it: The accursed Fruiterer (to whom it appertained) began with full-mouth to rail at us, and in an instant the rest being alarmed, pelted us with Stones, Pears, Turnips and a thousand other parts of Trash vvere hurled at the poor King; I vvould have quitted my Horse (judging that this Combate vvould be best determined [Page 72] afoot) but my Horse receving a cruel blow made him reel into a Jakes, into vvhich vve both fell; my Comrades in the mean time vvith stones repulsed the Fruiterers, and vvounded tvvo of them in the head; at length the Officers of Justice came and seized some of them and some of the Schollars, and disarmed them, for they had Svvords and Poniards as the Kings Guards. I novv vvas got up again out of the filth in a stinking posture, as you may imagine, and I threvv into a House my Arms, my Hat and my Mantle to have [Page 73] them washed. Then an Officer of Justice loudly cried, deliver your Arms, I replied I had none offensive but only against the Nose. He would carry me to Prison, but knowing not what part to take me, he was constrained to let me alone; I returned to Don Alonso Coronello with his Son, who was preserved in the Battel: His Father soon after that took a resolution to place his son Pensioner, with a Graduate named Cabra, who in his House had the Tuition of some young Gentlemen of Quality, and got my Parents to consent that I should be his servant.
[Page 74]We were Listed the first Sunday after Easter, under the power of a Living Famine. The said Segnior Cabra had nothing great but Stature; he had a very little head, covered with red hair; and it is sufficient to say according to the Proverb, no good Cats or Dogs that are red; his eyes were sunk into the hindermost part of his head, insomuch that he seemed to look through a Trunk; his Nose half eaten by Scurf, which came not to pass through Debauchery because that would cost money: His Mustachios were thick about [Page 75] his mouth, whieh seemed to have a desire to devour them, so famished it did appear: He had several Teeth wanting, which doubtless he had caused to be drawn to set to adorn the Bell of an itinerant Tooth-drawer: His Throat was as long as an Austritchs; the Apple whereof seemed so large as if necessity had forced it out to see for Victuals; his Arms drye; his Hands as shrivled Loppings of Vines, viewing him from the Wast downwards: He seemed like a Fork or Compass, so long and magre did his Thighs appear when he [Page 76] moved; His Bones resounded like the Ivory Clickets of a Leopard, which they use to give People notice to avoid them; His Tongue was stammering; his Voice whining; his Beard long, which was never shaved to save charges, saying he had so much repugnance that a Barbers hand should touch his Face that he had rather die than be shaved: He wore in Summer a Bonnet which was nibled by Mice, which heretofore might be Cloth, and was lined with the sweaty Greece which fell from his Head: many People said that his Vest was miraculous, [Page 77] because one could not divine what colour it had; some seeing it so bear, said it was made of Frogs skins; others said it was an illusion which near hand seemed black, and at a distance blew; it was never girt about him; and he had no Cuffs or Band: His long Hair that covered his Vest (as narrow and short as it was) made him look like a true Lacquey of Death; in his miserable Chamber he conjured the Rats, for fear they should eat his old Rags; His Bed was on the Ground on which he lay on the brink of it, that he might [Page 78] not wear out his Bed-cloths; In fine, one may call him the Prototype of Poverty and Misery.
Don Diego and I were delivered into the hands of this Phantosm, who appointed a Chamber: The time of Dinner being come, the Gentlemen set themselves at a Table, in a place no larger than the half of a Bushel, which served as a Refectory: I soon observd that there were no Cats; an old Domestick (whose leanness manifested that he was a Retainer to this Inne) perceiving that I seemed astonished, said to me (half weeping) [Page 79] who told you that Cats are friends to Fastings and Penances? I perceive you are but a Novice here: This I protest began much to afflict me, and much the more when I certainly perceived, that such as had for some time been in this House had Complexions which looked as if daubed with Diachilon.
The Segnior Cabra placed himself at the Table, and gave the Benediction, after which an eternal Meal was made, which had neither beginning nor end. — There was brought us in Wooden Ladles a Broth so clear, that if Narcissus had [Page 80] taken it, he might have been in more danger than at the Fountain. I considered what pains the poor fingers took in swimming in it, and to dive to pull up from the bottom of the Ladle one Orphelim or only Pease; at each gulph which Cabra swallowed; Ah! (said he) It's sure enough that there is nothing better than the sup, let People say what they will, all the rest is but superfluity and Gormandise; and when he had ended, 'tis this said he that gives Health, and sharpens the Wit; the Devil take thee (said I to my self) and then I beheld a Boy come in [Page 81] (whom I took for a half Ghost, so lean and unflesht he was) carrying a Dish in, which was a morsel of meat, which looked as if it had been cut from his Carkass, with a few Turnips about it; Cabra cries out in seeing it, Hovv! hovv! here are Turnips? I svvear nothing in the World can compare vvith this Chear; eat my Lads, I am much pleased vvhen I see you eat vvell, then he gave to each of them so great a part, that their Nails and Teeth had prepossest it, and none left for their longing Stomacks: O admirable entertainment [Page 82] for people half dead vvith hunger: Thus vvas the vvorthy Repast ended, of vvhich there remaining a little skin and a fevv Bones; here said Cabra (very gravely) preserve the rest for the servants, they must eat too as vvell as their masters, vve vvill not have all for our selves. May the Devil confound thee with all thou hast eaten said I, thee who makest so cruel Threats to my Bowels: After Grace he said to his Pensioners, go and divert your selves in the Walk, and use some exercise till two a Clock, that what you have eaten may [Page 83] not make you sick; at which I could not forbear to laugh, which obliged him to give me a sharp reprimand, to which he added four or five old Sentences; then we sate our selves at Table, and I seeing the miserable report, against which my Belly demanded Justice; but being lately better fed, and stronger than the others, I pull'd the Dish to me, which all had seiz'd on, and of three morsels I swallowed two, which made them grumble; and Cabra entring at the noise was made; how now, said he, ate as brethren, since Heaven [Page 84] gives you enough, do not quarrel; is there not sufficient for all of you? I swear, to ye that there was one of us, who was a Jasconer, that had so utterly forgot how and through what one eats, who holding a little morsel of Skin, that fell to his share, put it twice to his Eyes and Hands, the third time had much adoe to conduct it to his Mouth: Then I took a pot full of Water to drink, but scarcely had I put it to my Lips, but the half Ghost Boy (I spoke of) took it from me, and made it pass from hand to hand, as delicately as one [Page 85] takes the Wine after the Communion. I then arose with much grief, to find my self in such a place, where one drinks to the health of the Bowels, altho' nothing can come to them to do reason for it. Altho' I had not eaten, I took a fancy to uneat (that is to say, to do my necessities) and asked of an ancient Guest, where the convenient place was, he replied, he believed there was none, and that for one only time that this might happen, whilst I staid here, I might make use of any Post I pleased; and that he himself had had no need these [Page 86] two moneths, from the day he first entred, and then he did (as well as I perhaps) only emply what he had received the Eve before. O how could I express my sorrow! It was so great, that considering the little that should for the future come into my Body, I durst never let any thing out, what desire soever I should have.
Don Diego ask'd me what he should say to his Bowels, to perswade them that he had eaten, which most assuredly would not believe him. The ills that Inanition causes, were more frequent in this House than those [Page 87] which too much repletion causes in another. But now 'twas Supper-time; there was served up a little of the Masters Name which is Goat Roasted. Did the Devil ever invent such a Ragoust? He told us that nothing was more wholesome or profitable, than to eat little at supper, and cited a million of Aphorisms of hellish Physitians, which prov'd that slender diet hindred vain and false dreams — Could one make falser at his house than to dream that one had eaten? They supp'd and were sapp'd, and yet did not sup. Well we went to bed, [Page 88] and neither was it possible for Don Diego or me, to sleep one wink the whole night long, but spent the time in contriving fit means to complain to his Father, and I counsell'd him with much earnestness so to do, to which in time he did. But sir, are you very assured, said I, that we are living? Have we not been kill'd in the Combate that happened between the Fruiterers and us? Are we not Souls condemned to the pains of Purgatory? If it be so, 'tis a raillery to believe that your Father can clear us from hence; this cannot be done, if some charitable [Page 89] persons do not recite for us extraordianary Prayers of Jubile, and cause Masses to be said for us on some priviledg'd Altar. With these entertainments, and a little time that we nodded, it was morning and time for us to rise. At six a clock the Segnior Cabra call'd us for to say our Lessons — Fear had made me leaner in one day than others in fifteen, My Shoulders and my Stomach did already swim in my Doublet; my Legs had need of seven pair of Stockins; my Teeth were become of an Orange colour (the true colour of despair) He made [Page 90] me read the first Lesson to the others, and my hunger was so great, that I broke my Fast in eating half of the words. All this may be easily believed by him who shall know what his Man told me, that he had seen tvvo fat pad Nags put to him to keep, vvhich three daies after were become so lank, that they might as 'twere, fly through the Air: Also two fat Mastiff-dogs, that within a daies space, went out more slender than Grey-hounds. He did assure me that all this was true and, I; who began to be acquainted with the Inne, did easily believe it.
[Page 91] Cabra at length heard that there were many murmurrings in the City against him, for the bad chear he made us, resolved it should be better, and to that end he got a Box made of Tin, full of holes, in which he put a little Bacon, and having fastned a little string to it, he let it hang a little while in the Pot, but finding that it was too expensive, he believed it to be sufficient only to shew it the Bacon without putting it in.
Don Diego and I being not able longer to support our hunger, which had afflicted us for a moneth, [Page 92] feign'd our selves sick, not of a Feaver, for it might be easily observed we had none; and to complain of Headaches, or Aches of the Teeth, that was not sufficient to get us more meat. At length we concluded to say, that we had great griings in our Guts, for having not been at stool in a long time; hoping that for saving of six pence, to provide us remedy, he would rather be prevailed with to send us to Don Diego's Fathers House, but the Devil ordered it otherwise, for Cabra had inherited a Receipt from his Father, who [Page 93] was an Apothecary, and so sent for an old Hag of seventy years old (who was his Aunt) who served him as a Nurse-keeper, whom he ordered to prepare each of us a Clyster; they began with Don Diego, who could not resist them, and the old Nurse, instead of putting it into his Body, pusht it between his Skin and the Chine of his Back, and spouted it up to the Nape of his Neck, in as much as that which should have served him for inward Furniture, served to garnish him without, which made the poor Lad to cry for help, but Cabra coming [Page 94] in bid her give the other Clyster to me, and then they would prepare another for Don Diego. I had put on my Clothes (purposely to avoid it) but that would not serve my turn, for Cabra himself with a Crew, he had got hold on me in such manner as I could not stir; and the Nurce gave it me with as much dispatch as she could, but I presented a good part to her Nose before she had leisure to get out of the way: The Master thereupon fell into a rage against me, and threatned to put me out of doors, but it was not my good [Page 95] fortune to be so used.
We made our complaints to Don Diego's Father, but Cabra sent him word it was only because we would not study, so that all we could do or say proved unsuccessful.
He made his old Aunt the Governess of the Family, and to dress our provision for us, and to serve his Pensioners; and turned away his man, because on a Friday he perceived some few Crumbs of Bred to be on his Clothes; Heaven knows what we suffered under this damned Hag. She was exceeding deaf, and [Page 96] blind, moreover she was so great a mutterer of Pater Nosters, that one day the string of her Beds being broke they fell into the Pot, which made her serve us with the devoutest sop that ever I eat in my life, some said look here what black Pease we have, without doubt they are Ethiopian Pease: Our master was the first who tasted, and having got one of them into his mouth, and biting it broke one of his Teeth; she would ordinarily put the Fire-pan into the Pot instead of the Ladle: I commonly found hairs, little sticks and rolls [Page 97] of flocks that she usd to spin, which I fancied she put in on purpose to cram our Bellies the more.
All these miseries we endured until the Lent following, the beginning whereof one of the Pensioners fell fick; Cabra to avoid expence, delayed sending for a Physitian, till the poor Patient had need of, and requested, a Confessor, at length he had procured a Mountebank to come, who feeling his Pulse, said that Famine had by little and little killed the young man; they brought him the Holy Sacrament, and [Page 98] when he saw it (he who had not spoke in a whole daies time) said, my Lord and Saviour, it was necessary that I saw you enter into this House for to convince me that it was not Hell; and after the receiving it he died, and was poorly buried because he was a stranger, which grieved us exceedingly. The Rumour of this pitiful Death spread through the City, and came to the Ears of Don Alonso, who having no other Child but Don Diego, he became disabused of the Cruelties of Cabra, and gave credit to two shadows; [Page 99] (for we were reduced to that Estate) and quickly came to take us from this detestable Inne, where although he saw us before his eyes yet asked of us (our selves) where we were; but when he came to the perfect knowledg of us, he treated the Graduate Cabra in very foul terms; then he got us carried from thence in a Chair, and our miserable companions followed us with their eyes, with the same sentiments as the Slaves at Algire do, when they see the departure of such as are Redeemed: Being arrived at Don [Page 100] Alonso's House, they put us very gingerly into Bed least our Bones should get out of their places and fall on the Ground: Spies were sent for to pry into what part of our Faces our Eyes were hid: And as my sufferings had been greatest, and my hunger imperial; (for I was alwaies treated as a servant) it was a long time e're they could find my Eyes. Physitians were speedily sent for, who strait ordred that the dust on our mouths should be brushed off with a Foxes Tail, as is usually done from Pictures; then they directed to give [Page 101] us some substance, especially good Jellies. It is impossible to tell the illuminations of Joy that our Bowels received on the first Nourishment which we took. They forbad chiefly, that during nine daies any one should speak aloud in our Chamber, because our stomacks being hollow every word made an Eccho; With these and some other precautions, we began to amend, and to recover a little motion; but they had much adoe to make us open our Jaws, which they effected by little and little with certain [Page 102] Engines which they invented. At the end of four daies we arose, but looked like the shadows of other men; and so yellow and magre vve vvere, that once we were taken to be the Offspring of the Fathers of the Desert. We spent most of our time in paying our thanks to Heaven for redeeming us from the Captivity of the cruel Cabra, praying that never any Christian might fall into his Tyrannick hands. We related sometimes to Don Alonso all his Maxims against Gormandizing; (although the miserable Cabra [Page 103] was never guilty of that sin) and we made him laugh heartily, when we told him, that when he taught us the Holy Commandment (one of which sayes) Thou shalt not kill— he still added mark, ye said he, Kill? Kill what? not only Men, but Patridges, Pheasants, and Capons, or any thing else indeed that he would not give us to eat. After we had been three moneths at Don Alonso's, he took a resolution to send his Son to compleat his Studies at Alcala, and asked me if I would attend him; I was never more [Page 104] pleased than to be sent far enough from the sound of the very name of this persecutor of Stomachs, and I humbly accepted the Service, and to live with him as long as he should command me. Alonso allotted his Son a Steward, whose name was Aranda, to govern his Affairs, with a Bill of Exchange on a Merchant called Julian Merluche, and accordingly we took Coach.
At Alcala, Don Diego received a Letter from his Father, in which there was one also for me, which came from one of my Uncles named Archos Rampion, a [Page 105] very vertuous Man, and well known in Segovia, by the justicial Office he exercised; for all which had been done these four years, passed through his hands; not to tell you a lie — he was Hangman there, but an Eagle in his Profession; and few men that ever saw him practice, but were ambitious to be hanged by him. I will read you what he writes —
My dear Nephew Paul,
The continual Occupations in which the King emploies me, in my Function of my charge, have hindred me from Writting to you [Page 106] sooner; you know that his Majesties Service ought to be preferr'd above all things. I am (though with much regret) obliged to acquaint you with some ill news — Your Father died eight daies since, with more courage and resolution, than ever any shewed against the Attacques of Death. I can speak it to my certain knowledge, as one who rais'd him up, and was his Supervisor. He mounted on an Ass, without putting Foot in Stirrup; the Robe which serves on these occasions, seemed to have been made for [Page 107] him: He went with much gravity; he looked on the Windows (as he pass'd) saluting all who quitted their Occupations to see his Procession; he twice turned up his Mustachios, bid his Confessors take Breath, and observ'd the most remarkable points of their Discourse to him, which they were glad to hear, and prais'd him highly for it. He arrived to the Gallows, and ascended the Ladder with as much dexterity as the best Cat in Christendom could do; and perceiving one Round of the Ladder to be broken, he [Page 108] descended again, and with a graceful presence of Wit, applied himself to the Officers of Justice, minding them to get it mended for some others, because every one had not as much agility as he. I cannot express the admiration which his Bon-graces attracted from the whole World. Being sat on the top of the Ladder, he turned back the folds of his Robe, then he took the Halter and put it about his own Neck, and seeing that the Thealin [one of a religious Order] would again preach to him; said he, good Father, I account [Page 109] I have had preaching enough, let us dispatch I pray, for I desire not to appear Prolix in my Affairs; He recommended to me the placing of his Bonnet on his Ear, and to wipe well his Face when he was dead, which I faill'd not to do: He fell without opening his Legs, or making the least grimace, and all with a gravity without example. I quartered him and gave him the Highwayes for his Sepulcher. Heaven knows the dolor which I resent, to see him there to keep open Table for the Jayes and Crowes; [Page 110] but I hope that the Pastry Cooks of this Country, will give us some Consolation, and put him into Paste in their pettit Pattees. I might almost tell you the same of your Mother (although she survives him) for she is in the Inquisition at Toledo, she is charged with disinterring the Dead, and going every night to have a Benediction at the Sabbal; [which is the Conventicle of Witches] there has been found with her more Heads, Legs and Arms, than in a Chappel of Miracles.
[Page 111]I am much afflicted that she is such a dishonour to all of us, and more particularly to my self, that am a Minister of his Majesties, for such Kindred are a great prejudice to the dignity of my Employ.
There rests here some Money concealed from your Father, which may amount to about 400 Duckets; I am your Uncle, and all I have shall be for you: I advise you on receipt hereof, that you make a turn hither, with what Latin and Rhetorick you have learnt, for you will become a singular [Page 112] man in the art of Hangmanship.
[...]dress to me your suddain answer; in the mean time Heaaven preserve you,
So I remain, Your good Uncle Archos Rampion.
I cannot deny but this News did very much afflict me, but that which brings me some comfort (at least to mitigate some part of my sorrow) is the hopes and honour of my Uncles Letter, which I confess is full of brave and learned Expressions, which made me withdraw from the presence of Don Diego to write him an answer; and I thought it would become my prudence not to acquaint him with the purport of it; for who does know whether in this prying Age, he or some other [Page 114] great person by their interest at Court, of the powerfulness of Purse, might not prevail with his Majesty, or the Magistrates of Segovia, to get the Reversion of that high Office from me, which my honourable Uncle seems to design for me; so writing my thoughts, I found it much trouble to shew some Eloquence being not used to it, nor knew I well how to address it—then I began to write my Letter.
Dear Ʋncle—phsa— (said I) that is not well begun, and looks too Citizen-like— Honoured—Ʋncle—And [Page 115] this begins as it were wrote to an ordinary Gentleman, Most Honourable Ʋncle; ay that sounds very well, and is fit for a person of so high Quality and Education; so having blotted out the two first, I fairly wrote it over, and resolved to address it.
For the Honourable Archos Rampion, His Majesties High Officer of Justice at Segovia.
YOUR generous Lines were so emphatically welcome, that I kiss'd them a million of times, that done, I assumed Pen Ink and Paper, to present to you my acknowledgements for your most obliging Letter, in which you manifest an heroick zeal for the welfare of your Kindred, and particularly of my unworthy self; I did not untill now consider the advantage and preferment that Latin and Rhetorick may bring me to, for I perceive by yours that it [Page 117] is very necessary in your high Employ. Another man would have writ me that my Father was hang'd, and Mother a Thief, Baud and Witch, and that's all; but you Sir I find, according as is expected from persons of your great quality, do not plainly tell matter of Fact, as Common Rogues do, but express it in a gallant and honourable phraise, according to to the rules of Grandeur. I protest Sir, your Letter has almost, distracted me with joy, that I may become honourable too, after the time that I [Page 118] have been afflicted in the cruellest manner that ever a living Creature was, for I must tell you that I have been almost starved at a Villains House, called CaCabra, and all I got by my long suffering, was that which you so much commend — Latin and Rhetorick; and here I shall learn more — and so by that and your Favour I may get the honourable Dignity you mention, and have wherewith now and then to eat an Oli-podrido, and White Bread and good Oyl, instead of melted Tallow, the droppings [Page 119] of Candle (for we had no Kitchin-stuff) which my niggardly Master treasured up to be eaten only on high Festivals for Sauce, and to lie on a soft Quilt instead of a sack of hard knotted Flocks and Straw; but now Sir I eat pretty well, and will eat much more, to make me of a height requisite, which this Employment may require; and I begin to turn up some Hayes already towards the obtaining of Mustachios, which I fancy are very becoming, and will shew Greatness and State on the top of the [Page 120] Ladder. In short Sir, I shall study my Eyes out but I will make my self fit to take your place, which I hope and request you will secure for me; So I humbly kiss the hands of your Seignory, and subscribe my self,
Most Honourable Ʋncle,
Your overjoy'd and most honourable Servant, Paul of Segovia.
PErmit this Postcript to request you, that if you know of any other Name my Father had, than Paul of Segovia, to give me notice of it, that I cease to use this, for methinks I should have a great Name for my Office, yours sounds bravely, but I wonder you do not write your self Don Archos Rampion: I request your Sentiments herein and Directions of your Command in this material Notion, for as yet I am not versed in the [Page 122] Politicks; nor have I read any thing relating to State-Affairs or Offices of His Majesties Service; once more I humbly kiss the hands of your Seignory: Which Letter I sent by the Post; and when I have received an answer I will tell you more of my Adventures.
On the Qualities of a Marriage; or certain Rules for the Choice of a Wife, in a Letter to the Countess of—
THAT which I ought to desire in a Wife for my repose, my honour and my safety, is to have had her Educated in your Graces Service, in your own House, since she can bring me no better Portion, either Temporal [Page 124] or Spiritual, than to have been well instructed in obedience, and to be able with just Title to say that she had the Quality of your most humble Servant. But if your Grace shall command me to say more, I wil frankly tell you all the parts that I wish I could find in a Wife, that I might expect from the favour of Heaven or your Bounty; and this I will declare rather out of a design to entertain than to instruct you.
[Page 125]Madam I am no other thing but what your Graces Husband has made me, for without him I was without credit in the World and undone man; and if at this day I am any thing more, it is because he was pleased to make me cease to be what I was—I have been wicked more waies than one, and ceasing to be so, yet I cannot lawfully say that I am good, because I forsook not evil but when I was weary to commit, and not with a real desire to repent of it; I [Page 126] had not in this any end, but to put my self in safety; and I cannot be deceived, having no sort of malice which has not served me as an example or aversion.
I am in some consideration among my Neighbours, Master in my own House and Son of Ancestors, whose Memory honours one, but I mortifie them by mine.
As for my riches and my years, I shall alwaies govern them in such manner [Page 127] as I will endeavour to make it evident, that I have less years than Goods.
My Person gives neither disgust nor aversion; and if it acquires not great praises, at least it attracts no maledictions or railleries from such who see me.
Those who love me not, say that I am lame, for true it is that I seem so to them by a negligence in walking, insomuch that they determine [Page 128] not whether I am effectually lame, or whether I make continual reverences.
Now that I have avowed who and what I am, I will declare how I wish a Wife to be that the Lord should please to give me; I confess it would be too great an impudence in me (without the command of your Graces) to say how I would have a Wife, since that few Women would have me such as I am.
[Page 129]I desire, precisely, that she be noble, and she have Wit; for if she be innocent, she would be uncapable of Conversation, and to possess two things which I account most essential to a noble Soul, which are Equality and Virtue. I expect in her what is necessary in a married Woman, which may not be in a Blest and Religious One; and that her Oratory be her Duty to her Husband.
But I would rather love her Innocent than Scient [Page 130] as a Preacher, it being more easie to endure that which a person knows not, than to suffer by that which he presumes.
I would have one neither Fair nor Ʋgly, between those Extreams, the middle is more agreeable and safe; Ʋgly, she is no company, but a perpetual disgust; Fair, she is not so much a delight as a continual care; but if it must be that she be one or the other, I would have her to be rather Fair than Ʋgly; [Page 131] for it is better to have Care than Fear; and to have one guard than to flye from.
I would not desire one rich or poor, that she had only so much as was necessary; that she might not be said to buy me or I her; where Virtue is to be found Wealth ought not to be in great consideration.
If he who possesses her, quits her because he believes her to be poor, he cannot be rich but with [Page 132] Infamy—And if he who possesses her not, desires her because he believes her to be rich, he is poor with Infamy.
I should love her better Gay than Sad; for in Domestick Affairs the occasions of sadness will not fail us, which honestly moderate carefulness and joy will.
To have a Wife that is dull and alwaies retired like a Cobweb in a Corner, it is to espouse a continual disgust of life.
[Page 133]It is necessary that she be Proper, for my only satisfaction, and not to please those who have but leisure to partake her; she should be drest with what becomes her best, and not with that which the Libertism of other Women invents; she must not do that which some do, but that which all ought to do.
I should love her rather to be a Huswife than a Prodigal, for from the one nothing but fears is to be expected, and from [Page 134] the other profit is to be hoped — But it would be a great good to fin done that is liberal —
It would be indifferent to me whether she was Brown or Fair, I desire only that if she be Brown, that she labour not to become Fair — for falsities and disquiets gives commonly more suspition than Love.
It imports not much whether she be Short or Tall; Chiopins or Stilts (much used in Spain and Italy) [Page 135] make almost all sizes, and each Stature has its peculiar Charms and Graces—
As for what regards Fatness or Leanness, if I cannot find one of a necessary plumpness, she would rather please me, being lean, and would be more acceptable to my Fancy, to be rather slender as a Cow than gross as a Tun.
I would have one neither in Infancy nor much Aged; the one would be as a Cradle, the other as a Coffin. I have forgot how Children [Page 136] are Rock'd; and I have not yet learned the Responses, which are said for the Dead — I must have one made, which I nevertheless wish was a young one — I wish above all, that she had not those delicate Hands, those fair Eyes, and that pretty Mouth; for with those three things, which of themselves are perfectly good, it would be impossible that one could suffer it, because that Women make themselves unsupportable with their costly Bracelets, to have their Hands gazed [Page 137] on, which are alwaies as 'twere fencing with their curled Hairs, and still weaving them into Cobwebs, and emploping them about their Head-tire, to give occasion to consider their fair Eyes, which they rock, and put them to sleep, then awake 'em on a sudden, and make 'em seem dying; with so many Apish postures, that the Devil himself cannot not suffer. Is it not ridiculous to see a Woman at every moment to shew her Teeth, to haev'em admired, rolling and biting her [Page 138] Cherry Lips, to give fresher colour to 'em, as if she affected to study the Grimaces of an angry gurling Mastiff, or of one that was damn'd. Too much care is disadvantageous to perfection, when negligence most often hides defects.
I covet not that she be an Orphan, because I would not be obliged to so many comemorations of the Dead; neither would I have her to have much Kindred, 'tis sufficient if she has a Father and a [Page 139] Mother in this World, and all her Aunts in Purgatory, for whom I will cause as many Masses to be said as she in reason should request.
I should esteem it a favour of Heaven, if she was a little deaf, or did a little stammer; those Qualities will avoid long Conversations and frequent Visits, which will make the best conditioned Woman, to lose half of the Ware in words, which are profitable for nothing.
[Page 140]And that which would be the most important, is that she suffer no Governess (Duegna) in her House, which is in my opinion an instrument little necessary in Huswifery: However it is certain, that I will esteem her such as I shall have her; and that (if it must be so) I will suffer as I merit, presuming that I may be married with little good fortune: But that it is very difficult that I be ill-married.
FINIS.