A true description of my manner of life of what I have been in my profession of religion, and what I am at present, by the grace of God / this was given forth some time before that faithful servant of God laid down his body, who was known amongst many, by the name of Edward Burrough.

A true description of my manner of life of what I have been in my profession of religion, and what I am at present, by the grace of God / this was given forth some time before that faithful servant of God laid down his body, who was known amongst many, by the name of Edward Burrough.

Table of contents

Title page

A true Description of my manner of Life, of What I have been in my Profession of Religion unto this very Day; and what I am at present, by the Grace of God.

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A true Description of my manner of Life, of What I have been in my Profession of Religion unto this very Day; and what I am at present, by the Grace of God.

I Was brought up, and Educated by my Natural Parents in profession of Religion, according to the Customes and Traditions of this Nation, in saying Prayers, professing the Scriptures, and hearing men Speak upon them: And I was exercised in the Formal Worship then upheld, to Read, and Hear, and Sing, and Pray, according to Tradition: And this was about the time when Prelacy was going down; but I was Wanton and Leight, and lived in Pleasures, and without the Fear of God, and knew nothing of him but by Hearsay, and Tradition. Neither was I then Zealous for what I Professed; But when I grew up towards Twelve years of Age, something of God stirred in my Mind and Understanding, and shewed me, That there was a Higher thing, and that this was Darkness, and not at all the Worship of the Living God, but Ignorance, and without his Knowledge. And then I sought after, and followed the cheifest Presbyterian Preists in the Country, and would have gone several Miles to have heard one of the best of them, which seemed liker Truth than the other; Such was then my Thirstings and desire after God, out of the sincerity of my Heart, which were begotten in me: So I followed the Highest of the Priests and Professors of that Form, and grew in Favour with them, and was Owned among them as Religious, (then I left off some small part of my Leightness and Vanity) and Soberminded, as having somthing of the Fear of God before me: Then (through my industry in Reading and Hearing, and [Page] writing Notes) I gathered much Knowledge from the Scriptures of that sound and report of things Without me, as of Christ Jesus, his Life, his Dying and Rising, &c. which I applied in may self, to have peace thereby (as I thought;) but it was in the enmity against God in my Nature all this while, and unregenerate, though grown very Zealous in Prayer, and Duties, and Performances; highly respecting the Sabbath day, and my Duties, and the like: So that thus I became a Scorn to many of my Acquaintance, and was Reproached by the Name of a Round-head, and such like. But as I grew up in Wisdom and Knowledge, so into Pride, and Highmindedness, and forgat the Simplicity, and left the former Innocency; and so was kept and continued in Ignorance of the Living Truth, and but groping as a Blind man, not knowing whether I went.

Then when I was about Sixteen Years of Age, it pleased the Lord to shew Himself a little more to me; and I was stricken with great Terrours many times, and Judgment was set up in me; and my Wisdom and former Knowledge was much confounded; and my observing of my former duties of Righteousness was become dead, and dry, and empty to me: for when I had been Praying, I heard the Voice oft, Thou art Ignorant of God, thou knowest not where he is, nor what he is; To what purpose is thy Prayer? And very often much Fear and Dread came upon me, and broke me off from Prayer many times; and trouble came thick into my mind, and Fearfulness fell many times upon me; Weeping and Crying took hold of me; and I was stricken off my former Delights that I had loved; and what I had gathered into my Wisdom (as of Experiences, and the Knowledge of God) died in me: And for a time I left off Reading the Scriptures; for it was shewed me, that I was Ignorant of the true God; neither knew, nor understood what I Read: the Beauty of all things Vanished, and I had no Pleasure in [Page] anything: Even the Preaching of those whom I had formerly delighted to Hear, was Withered to me, and became Empty and Barren, and he burthen of Sin lay Heavy upon me. And many a time I sate down alone Weeping and Sorrowing, and separated my self from the Vain wayes of the World, and from Vain worldly People, and was made to Reprove many often for Wickedness, though therefore I was had in Derision; for Wrath was in me against Sin, though my self was Ignorant of God. And I went to some of the Ministers, and asked What this God was, but no man could give me Satifaction herein. And thus I was hurried up and down, and many times grievously Tempted; but knew not where to have my Mind stayed, nor how to gain Power over my Enemies, which were very many.

But for a time, having been exercised through great trouble of Spirit, it pleased the Lord to manifest his Love in my Soul, and I had sweet Refreshings coming in from his Presence, and I had Joy and Peace in abundance, and great openings of the Mysteries of God was Revealed in me, which the World knew not; and through Judgement was a pure innocent Simplicity brought forth in me, and great Thirstings and Desires more then at the first were begotten in me towards God; and I saw many Glorious things afar off by way of Prophesie, and was in much Rejoycing many times, and could sing Praises unto God; for then I was brought out of the Land of Egypt and Darkness, and could say I had peace in Measure with God in the Light; and many Scriptures were opened to me, and the Ministry of Christ was looked into, which before I had been blind concerning, and my former Sorrow was not departed from me, and forgotten; for Joy and Gladness filled my heart, and I grew up to know Great things in my apprehension, and began to run forth in my Wisdom, thinking to comprehend in my own Knowledge, the Mysteries of the Kingdom of God, [Page] having the True Light shining in my Understanding; And through my Aspiring mind, grew up into the notion of Truth, but without the Life, only to speak of Great things in my own Wisdom: But not knowing the Cross of Christ, to keep Low in it, to have my Mind stayed upon the Principle of God, to be preserved in my Peace and Joy with God, I lost again my self, through my forward Will and Wisdom, and runing out into Knowledge without the Fear of God; Though I was above many of the Priests and Professors in my Knowledge, and followed only the highest Notionists; but the Fleshly Man was set at Liberty, and the Cross was despised, though I was looked upon to know Much, and could speak True Experiences; but the Judgment I had lost, and the former Terrour was gone, and the Rod that once Smote me was Broken, and out of the Serpent's Root sprang forth a Cockatrice, and his Fruit was a firie stinging Serpent, upon which I fed for many dayes: And then Pride grew more than ever, and Self-conceitedness, and Presumption, and Fleshly liberty to the Carnal mind: And my delight was much in Discoursing, and Talking of the Mysteries of God, where I spent that which God had given me, like the Prodigal, and gave Holy Things to Dogs, for I wanted the true Wisdom of the Heir of the Kingdom. And here I lived Pleasantly, for I had the Knowledge of the Mystery of Christ in my Comprehension; and the Mystery of the Kingdom (as I thought) was Revealed; for I comprehended much in my Wisdom, being unsetled in the Light, which should have guided me into the Cross; But the World was set in my Heart, and Pride, and Covetousness, and the Earthly Spirit ruled, and my Delight grew up again, from the Simplicity I once had, growing in the Knowledge out of the Innocency.

Here I ran from my Husband, after other Lovers, and had left the Lord, my Maker; and I spent the Portion of the Gift of God as among Harlots, and Iniquity and Sin encreased [Page] again, and Death by Sin came upon me, and the Serpent beguiled me, as he did Eve, even when I was Innocent, and I had Eaten of the Knowledge, and not of the Life, and that fed a part within me, which should have been Famished, and my Left hand knew what my Right hand did, & the Woman usurped power over the Man-child in me. And in this condition, for many dayes, I travelled, and became darkned in my Mind more and more; and had lost that which once I had Felt and Known, and had but in my earthly Memory the sence which before I had in the true Light, and in a Measure enjoyed: I could tell of Experiences, but they were Dead to me, and could speak of many Divine things in my Imaginations, but I held the Truth in an unrighteous mind.

Then the Witness of God began again to work in me, and brought me to Question some things how it was with me; and I saw my self to be Ignorant more then formerly, and I felt Peace and Joy departed from me; and somthing desired to be restored again to my former condition, but I grew to be much given to the love and delights of Riches, and Honour in the World; I fed my self with that Knowledge which formerly I had received in the Light, and with a Deceitful mind could say, I once had the Love of God; and whom he Loved once, he loves for ever. But then that was head and ruled in me which he Loves never.

And I was Wanton, and in Ishmaels Birth, which I thought to be a goodly Child, and would fancy he might have lived before the Lord; and in my Vanities amongst Heathens I crucified the Lord of Life; but the Blood of that which I had slain cryed continually, and the Witness which lay slain gave me no rest, which the Earthly man made Merry over, for a time, till the Lord was awakned as one out of sleep, to lay again his Judgments upon me; and then I grew weary of all Knowledge, and Profession, though never so High; Something which shined deep in me, shewed me Ignorance in the [Page] Highest of Words; and I was tossed up and down in my Thoughts, having lost the savour of Life which once I had tasted of, & that Tenderness which was once upon my Spirit; And I was as a Drie Bone strewed abroad, and I became a Reproach to my self, who once had felt the Working of the Power of God; but was now past Sence, and might sit down in Darkness, and look no more after Religion. And this was partly my Resolution, seeing my self Deceived in all Things.

But in due time the Lord Awakned me, and brought me Home, and sent the true and faithful Messenger (the First-brought-forth of many Children) not known to the World, for whom the Nations shall Bless the Lord; and the Message of Eternal Light he declared, and spake the Language I knew not, notwithstanding all my High talkings; for it was Higher, and yet Lower then I understood; and it comprehended me, and overthrew me in the height of my Knowledge: And the Lord spake to me, by Him, and caused me to hear his Voyce, through Him; and my dim Eye was restored to Sight, and my Understanding was Opened, and the Vail was Rent; and I saw my self as in a Glass, to be in the Prodigal state, and above the Cross, and without Judgement, and without the Fear of the Lord; for my professed Freedom was proved Bondage, in the ballance of Equity; and my own Will had Power over me, and my own Heart led me Captive; And the Witness being Raised, I saw my self Where I was, and What I had been doing; I saw I had been making an Image to the first Beast, which had a Wound by the Sword, and did Live, whose Deadly Wound was again Healed, and was Worshipping the Image which I had set Up, even he Likeness of the first Beast: And I was full of Airy Notions and Imaginations, and the Son of the Bond-woman lived; and I saw that Harlots gone from God had been my Companions: And I confessed I was not worthy [Page] to be called a Son, who had departed from the Fathers House, and was found Feeding upon Husks, and could not fill my Belly; then Trouble and Distress come upon me, and the Lord appeared a swift Witness against me, and true Judgement was set up in my Heart, and dayes of Sorrow compassed me about, such as was not since the begining of the World; and I was at my Wits end, and a day of thick Darkness and Trouble, a day of Weeping and Mourning, and Misery; a day of Recompence and Vengeance came upon me, such as I had never known, even for many days I was compassed with Pain, as a Travelling Woman; one Vial of Wrath after another was poured out, and the Great Whore was to be Judged, and to Drink of the Wine of the Wrath of God, which had once made me to Drink of the Wine of her Fornication and Abominations; my Pleasant day was turned into Mourning, and my Merry Hours into Weeping; the Earth was with its Glory consumed away, and the Children of my Vanity fainted for Thirst; and I became a Reproach to the Wicked round about me, and was some time as a Distracted man, when the Terrour of the Lord was upon me; And it was hard to find Patience in that Day, and to endure this Wounded Spirit: My Sins were set in Order before my Face, and they Reviewed by the Law of God set up in me; and then I submitted my Neck to the Yoak, and separated my Heart from all the Glory of the World, and from all my Acquaintance, and sought out the Fear of the Lord, and his Judgements my Soul loved; And I gave my Heart to seek the Lord, and I Prized his Treasure above All things, and my Heart found Favour in the sight of God, as I became Subject to Him. And I betook my self to a poor Despised, Contemptible People called Quakers, and the Lord Raised us up about this time; and now the Lord hath Made up the Breach, and Healed up the Wound, [Page] and Restored ever lasting Praise and Rest in my Soul; and she hath found her Beloved, whom from the dayes of my Child-hood I sought, with a desire to know his Wayes; and now I am one in the Generation of the Righteous Seed, which was ever Hated by the Seed of Evil Doers; But I had rather have chosen Affliction with Them, than to enjoy the Pleasures of Sin with the Multitude: And now do I bear Witness unto the Lord in this his Day, unto the one Eternal Truth, as it is in Christ Jesus, of whom I am made a Partaker (through the Faith of the Gospel) by the Word of God, and do set to my Seal, That the Lord is True, and his Wayes and Judgements are Equal, whereby he Redeems Sion, and her Children: And a Witness for the Lord I bear by his Spirit, against all the Deceitful Professions of the World, which stands in the Wisdom of Man, and not in the Power of God; and from the Head of the great Image, unto the Feet, his whole Body (in the Light) is seen and comprehended, and all deceivableness of Unrighteousness is seen in its Working; And unto the pure Teachings of God in the Spirit, do I give Testimony, and against all the False Teachers and Hirelings in the World, by whom the People are not Profited: And in a Measure I have received the end of the Ministry of Christ, and do not thereby Destroy it, but Seal to it; and am come into the Covenant of Peace, where every one, from the Least to the Greatest know the Lord, and are established in Righteousness: And what we have Heard, Seen, and Tasted of the Word of Life, that do we Declare, and stand Witness for God; as we have Received the Truth, in which we are made Free by the Son, and do Suffer, and are giving up to Bear the Sufferings for the Seeds sake, which is not of this World. Unto which Seed in us, God hath fulfilled his Promises, and his Word, and hath removed the Enmity, and taken away his Punishing Hand; and the Fearfulness [Page] of his Countenance is changed into Love, Life, and Peace; and Sorrow, and Mourning is fled away, and the Man-child is brought forth, and the Remembrance of our former Trouble is now past: And unto Him who is not known in the World, though a Sufferer by it, do I bear Witness in the sight of God, Angels and Men; and Wo unto his Persecutors, they shall Fall, and never more Rise again; and Sorrow and Confusion shall fill their Loynes, and the end of his Enemies shall be accursed in deep Misery, and the Snares of the Enemy laid for him shall hold fast their own Feet. Now I am Despised of the World, and cast aside of my Relations, and am not Greater than my Lord, who was called a Blasphemer, and Deceiver, as now I am, Praised be the Lord for Evermore, who hath Separated me from the World, and Worldly Glory, and hath made me a Partaker of his Love, in which my Soul hath full Satisfaction, Joy▪ and Content; and now my Habitation is in the Lord. And thus I have Travelled through the World, even to the End, and now am come to the Beginning of that which never shall have an End, which the Dark mind of Man knows not. And this hath been my Travel many a day in Weariness, and in a Burthened Spirit; and though tossed too and fro, yet now I have found a sure Resting Place, even the beautiful Gates of Sion; and my Mind is staied, and my Soul Resteth in the Enjoyment of Love, and a sure Defence is upon my Glory, my Neighbours may Rejoyce with me for ever.

Edward Burrough.

THE END.

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A TRUE DESCRIPTION OF MY Manner of Life, Of what I have been in My PROFESSION OF RELIGION unto this very Day: AND What I am at PRESENT, by the Grace of God.

This was given forth some time before that Faithful Servant of God laid down his Body, who was known amongst many, by the Name of EDWARD BVRROVGH.

LONDON, Printed for Robert Wilson in the Year, 1663.

Information about this book

Title statement

A true description of my manner of life of what I have been in my profession of religion, and what I am at present, by the grace of God / this was given forth some time before that faithful servant of God laid down his body, who was known amongst many, by the name of Edward Burrough.

Burrough, Edward, 1634-1662.

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1663

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Text Creation Partnership,

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Ann Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) :

Date

2004-05 (EEBO-TCP Phase 1).

ID [DLPS]

A30555

ID [STC]

Wing B6045

ID [STC]

ESTC R12785

ID [EEBO-CITATION]

12033416

ID [OCLC]

ocm 12033416

ID [VID]

52811

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Early English books online.

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(EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A30555)

Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 52811)

Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 861:26)

Source

— A true description of my manner of life of what I have been in my profession of religion, and what I am at present, by the grace of God / this was given forth some time before that faithful servant of God laid down his body, who was known amongst many, by the name of Edward Burrough., Burrough, Edward, 1634-1662..

Extent

11 p.

Printed for Robert Wilson,. London :: 1663.. (Reproduction of original in Huntington Library.) (cf. Smith. Friends' books, v. 1, p. 366.)

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