PHILASTER: OR, Love lies a bleeding.
A TRAGI-COMEDY.
As it is now acted at His MAJESTY's Theatre Royal.
Revis'd, and the Two last Acts new Written.
LONDON: Printed for R. Bentley, at the Post-House in Russel-Street, in Covent-Garden. 1695.
TO His GRACE THE Duke of Schonberg and Lemster.
FOR this Publick Address to Your Grace, I have no other Plea, than that of a Refugee. The Muses in all Nations, and Ages (and long Custom is little less than a claim of Right) have still been sheltered under the Sanctuary of HONOUR; nor are Distance, Height, or Greatness a Bar to those Intruders. Besides, as WAR and WIT, the Mars and the Minerva, were both the Offspring of JOVE, they have some flattering dawn of Hopes from Your Grace's condescending Goodness; that the same Hand that wields the rougher Thunder, may, possibly, [Page] not disdain a Reception to the gentler Muses. And indeed, where should they boldlier intrude, than where they are the profoundest Homagers? That Renown, that like Your Grace's, is the fairest Theam to inspire them, must consequently be the strongest Charm to attract them. The Dedications of Poetry are but a part of her Devotion; and as Devotion under the present establish'd English Liberty, may make her Orizons at what Shrine she pleases; I hope Your Grace will generously vouchsafe to pardon so bold a bending Knee before You.
And indeed, where can all Knees more justly bend, than to the Heir of that Illustrious FATHER, that quitted all the Jewels of his own Native Ducal-Coronet, one of the proud [...]st Wreaths of France, together with a Patrimony, that might dazle common Eyes, though not so glittering in his own, as to shade his least Jem in Heaven for thrice that shining Earth: A Father that resigned even a proud Mareschal's Staff, for little less than a Pilgrim's. Nay, I may say, threw over board his whole Load of this lower World, to lighten his Transport for a Higher: A Father, to whose, and his whole Families Deathless Memory, and Honour, [Page] our whole Nation owes more than a Humane, even a Divine Veneration, as lighting Your Glories from an Altar-Coal, those Altars, to which You have sacrificed no less than Your ALL; left Honours, Inheritance, Hopes, Titles, Dignities, all behind You; to wander those voluntary naked Exiles to some remoter, more Hospitable Colony; with nothing but a Hand and a Heart, a Soul and a Sword to plant You there.
'Twas thus the embracing BRITANIA flew with open Arms, to the Reception of those Princely, more than welcome Guests to her Bosom: She look'd upon You, as no less than the flying Gallick Astraea, that had brought over the whole remaining Justice and Humanity of Your Native France, and left her only Oppression, Barbarity, and Rapine, the whole surviving growth of her Tyranick Soyle. But whilst our ever honoured SCHONBERG is not only England's, but her great CAESAR's Darling too; His Royal Favours so confer'd, are not His Grace but Gratitude: He stands so highly indebted to the Great SCHONBERGS, those fairest Fleur de Lis's, planted into its own English Roses, a FATHER and a BROTHER both sleeping in the fatal Bed of Honour; those [Page] lovely Lillies died Crimson in His Cause; that all his most studied Smiles to the Great REMAINS of that Heroick Root, are but a faint Acknowledgement of Arrears so Infinite.
But still, my Lord, as much Encouragement as Your Grace's highest Character and Worth, and my own Ambition can give me; (for Ambition, even in the humblest Veins, is the natural warmth of the Soile; and this little World of humane kind is but a barren Glebe without it:) Nevertheless, I durst not have ventur'd to have laid this Trifle at your Grace's Feet, had not the fairer Merit of the richer Stock I have grafted upon, the two famous Poets of the last Age, Beaumont and Fletcher, the original Parents of Philaster, a little animated this Presumption of subscribing my self,
THE PROLOGUE.
Actors Names.
- King. Mr. Simpson.
- Philaster. Mr. Powel.
- Pharamond. Mr. Cibbars.
- Dion. Mr. Powel, sen.
- Cleremont. Mr. Lee.
- Thraselin. Mr. Horden.
- Arethusa. Mrs. Knight.
- Galatea. Mrs. Cibbars.
- Megra. Mrs. Kent.
- Bellario. Mrs. Rogers.
Woodmen, Rabble, Guards, Attendants, &c.
Scene Sicily.
PHILASTER.
ACT I.
SCENE I.
Credit me, Gentlemen, I wonder at it! They receiv'd strict Charge from the King to attend here. Besides, it was boldly publish'd, that no Officer should forbid any Gentleman that desir'd, to Attend and Hear.
Sir, 'tis plain, about the Spanish Prince, that's come to marry our Kingdom's Heir, and be our Soveraign.
Faith, Sir, the Multitude (that seldom know any thing but their own Opinions) speak that they would have. But the Prince, before his own Approach, receiv'd so many confident Messages from the State, that I think she's resolv'd to be rul'd.
Sir, it is thought, with her, he shall enjoy both these Kingdoms of Sicily and Calabria.
I wonder what's his Price? for certainly he'll sell himself, he has so prais'd his Shape: But here comes one more worthy those large Speeches, than the large Speaker of them: Let me be swallow'd quick, if I can find in all the Anatomy of yon Man's Virtues, one Sinnew sound enough to promise for him, He shall be Constable. By this Sun, he'll ne're make King, unless it be of Trifles, in my poor Judgment.
Does he intend to give him a general Purge for all the Pains [...] suffers, or means to let him Blood? Be constant, Gentlemen, by Heave [...] I'll run his Hazard, although I run my Name out of the Kingdom.
I cannot blame him, There's Danger in't. Every Man in this Age has not a Soul of Chrystal, for all Men to read their Actions through Mens Hearts and Faces are so far asunder, that they hold no Intelligence. Do but view yon Stranger well, and you shall see a Feaver through all hi [...] Bravery, and feel him shake; if he give not back his Crown again, upon th [...] report of an Elder Gun, I have no Augury.
A pretty talking Fellow, hot at hand: but eye yon Stranger, is he not a fine compleat Gentleman? O these Strangers, I do affect them strangely; as I live, I could love all the Nation over and over for his sake.
ACT II.
SCENE I.
Why should these Ladies stay so long? They must come this way, I know the Princess employs 'em not, for the reverend Mother sent me word, they would be all for the Garden. If they should all prove honest now, I were in a fair taking.
I love! Yes, Sir, most passionately. I love a Mornings Ramble, an Evening's Play, gay Mirth, and flowing Joys; soft Hours, sweet sleeps, and golden Dreams to crown 'em; provided I have neither Fops, Fools, nor Fiddles to wake me out of 'em.
Nay, Madam, if Fops and Fools are only excluded, then Wit and Sense, belike, those happier Favourites, may hope a kinder Treatment.
Nay, Sir, I cant tell that neither; For Wit and Sense are such Strangers to this part of the World, that I declare I am that young Traveller, as never went far enough to meet with either of 'em.
Faith, Sir, none at all: For, to answer you in your own Martial Dialect, there's Policy in Love, as well as War: And wise Ladies act like prudent Generals; we love, as they fight; never engage, but upon Advantage.
Nay, troth, Sir, that will do but little service neither: For to tell you the Truth, what between a little natural Pride, feminine Honour, and some other Virgin Ramparts about me, my Out-works are so very strong, that all your Canonading will do but feeble Execution.
This is a crafty Wench, I like her Wit well: She's a Danae, and must be courted in a Shower of Gold. Madam, look here, all these, and more,—
What have you there, my Lord? Gold? Now, as I live, 'tis fair Gold; you would have Silver for it to Play with the Pages: you could not have taken me in a worse time: But if you have present use, my Lord, I'll send my Man with Silver, and keep your Gold for you.
If there be but two such more in this Kingdom, and near the Court, we may ev'n hang up our Harps; ten such Champhier Constitutions as this, would call the Golden Age again in question,
Not to a willing Mind, that will endeavour; if I do not teach you to do it as easily in one Night, as you'll go to Bed; I'll lose my royal Blood for't.
I'll sooner teach a Mare the old measures, than teach her any thing belonging to the Function: she's afraid to lie with her self, if she have but any masculine Imaginations about her; I know, when we are married, I must ravish her.
Make your own Conditions, my Purse shall seal 'em. Come, I know you are bashful, speak in my Ear, will you be mine? Keep this, and with it me, at Night I'll visit you.
My Lord, my Chamber's most unsafe, but when 'tis Night, I'll find some means to slip into your Lodging: till when—
Oh thou pernicious Petticoat Prince, are these your Vertues? Well, if I do not lay a train to blow your Sport up, I am no Woman: And Lady Towsabel, I'll fit you for't.
In listning after bawdery: I see, let a Lady live never so modestly, she shall be sure to find one lawful time to hearken after bawdery; your Prince, brave Pharamond, was so hot on't.
Sir, I have asked, and her Women swear she is within; but they I think are Bawds; I told 'em I must speak with her; they laught, and said their Lady lay speechless. I said, my business was important. They said, their Lady was about it: I grew hot, and cry'd, my business was a matter that concern'd Life and Death. They answer'd, so was Sleeping, at which their Lady was. I urg'd again, she had scarce time to be so since I last saw her. They smil'd again, and seem'd to instruct me, that sleeping was nothing but lying down and winking. Answers more direct I could not get: In short, Sir, I think she is not there.
Sure she has a Garrison of Devils in her Tongue, she uttered such Balls of Wild-fire. She has so netled the King, that all the Doctors in the Country will scarce cure him. That Boy was a strange found out Antidote to cure her Infections; that Boy, that Princess's Boy; that brave chaste, vertuous Lady's Boy; and a fair Boy, a well-spoken Boy: All these considered, can make nothing else—but there I leave you, Gentlemen.
ACT. III.
SCENE I.
ACT IV.
SCENE I.
You're cloudy, Sir; Come, we have forgotten your venial Trespass; let not that sit heavy [to Phar.] upon your Spirit: None dare utter it.
He looks like an old surfeited Stallion after his leaping: Dull as a Dormouse: See how he sinks, the Wench has shot him betwixt wind and water; and, I hope, sprung a Leak.
Oh, he's a precious Lime-hound: Turn him loose upon the pursuit of a Lady, and if he lose her, hang him up i'th' Slip. When my Fox-bitch, Beauty, grows proud, I'll borrow him.
Is't possible that fellow should repent! Methinks that were not noble in him; and yet he looks like a mortified Member. If a worse Man had done his Fault now, some Physical Justice or other wou'd presently, without the help of an Almanack, have open'd the Obstructions of his Liver, and let him blood with a Dog-whip.
See, see, how modestly yond Lady looks; as if she came from Churching with her Neighbour; why, what a Devil can a Man see in her face, but that she's honest?
Troth, no great matter to speak of, but a foolish twinkling of the Eye that spoils her Coat; but he must be a cunning Herauld that finds it.
See how they muster one another! Oh there's a rank Regiment, where the Devil carries the Colours, and his Dam Drum-Major. Now the World and the Flesh come behind with the Carriage.
He, out on him! I never loved his beyon'd-Sea-ship, since he forsook the Stag once to strike a Rascal milking in a Meadow; and her he kill'd i'th'Eye. Who shoots else?
That's a good Wench, and she wou'd not chide us for tumbling of her Women in the Brakes; she's Liberal, and by my Bow, they say she's honest; and whether that be a fault I have nothing to do. There's all.
That's a firker 'Ifaith Boy, There's a Wench will ride her Haunches as hard after a Kennel of Hounds as a Hunting Saddle; and when she comes home get 'em Clap't, and all's well again. I have known her lose her self three times in one Afternoon (if the Woods have been answerable), and it has been work enough for a Man to find her, and he has sweat for't. She rides well, and she pays well. Hark, let's go.
There's already a Thousand Fatherless Tales amongst us. Some say her Horse run away with her, some, a Wolf pursued her; others, It was a Plot to Kill her, and that Arm'd-men were seen in the Wood: But questionless she rode away willingly.