[Page] Two LETTERS, One from John Audland a QUAKER, TO William Prynne. THE OTHER, William Prynnes ANSWER, By the AUTHOR of HUDIBRAS.

LONDON, Printed for Jonathan Edwin at the Three Roses in Ludgate Street. 1672.


William Prynne,

THou perpetual Scribe, Pharise, and Hy­pocrite, born to the destruction of Pa­per, and most unchristian effusion of Ink, thou Aegyptian Task-master, of the Press, and unmerciful destroyer of Goosequils, that dost plunder and strip thy poor kindred naked to the skin, to maintain thy self in a Tyrannycal and Arbitrary way of Scribling against thy Brethren, even the Independants and Quakers, over whom thou settest up thy self as an unrighteous Iudge, for a Righteous Iudge hath an Ear for both Parties, and thou hast none for either. Verily William thou dost evil and against the light within thee, to accuse thy Brethren of that, whereof thou art more guil­ty thy self; for though they break an Act of Parli­ament, yet thou didst worse, when thou wouldst have made one thy self, after thou hadst engaed thy Faith unto the House, that thou wouldst never lift up thy Heel against them more: Truly thou shewest thy self in this no better then a Jew, in throwing the first stone at them, unless thou wert innocent thy Self, and all thy Fundamental, Municipal, Common, Natural Law, will not serve to prove thee other, who hast been [Page 4] judged by the Laws of the Land, as a Pharise, to weare a Phylactery in publick, and hast had thine Ears bored through according to the Mosaical Law: And I fear thy pretended Conversion to Christianity, is but in or­der to something else, even as the Mahometans (they say will not admit a Iew to turn Turk, unless he first be­come a Christian. And that is the reason why thou art so cruel (like a Renegado) to those of thine own Sect, yea even unto those in whose quarrel thou hast lost Leather, for as one of thy Ears was cut off for Presby­tery, even so was the other for Independancy. But now I speak of thine Eares, give me leave to ask thee one que­stion I have heard that those who have lost their Legs, do somtimes nevertheless feel pains in their Toes; and I would fain know whether toward change of weather thou dost not feel a kind of itching and tingling in those defunct Parings of thine, especially when Presbyte­ry and Gover-nement are like to peep out again. For what else does thy rayling against the Bishops (as well as us) hold forth? but that thou art the very same Will. Prynne Utter Barrister, that didst heretofore publish a­gainst them so many ridiculous Hatcases, and Bandbox­es, in which thy works are alwaies bound up, and are to be sold on the Southside of Pauls-Church-yard, where thy Stationers live. Among those I have seen thy Title pages pasted like Mountebanks Bills, in which thou dost alwayes write Reformation, Law, Religi­on, and Fundamental in Capital Letters, even as those Quacks doe Pox and Running of the Reins, and both to the same purpose, namely to deceive the Reader, and vapour of more then thou art able to perform. But o [...] the verbosity of thy writings! Solomon saith in many words there is folly, and thou hast prov'd it true: For thou writest perpetually in the Language of a Convey­ance, and dost not indite but draw; and when thou shalt answer for every idle word, all the Bills and An­swers in Chancery will rise up in judgement against thee. For thou usest so many impertinent Tautologies, that thy Reader can never understand what thou meanest, [Page 5] unless he should take the paines to draw Breviates of thy senceless repetitions which is unsufferable and not to be endured by a Free-born English man And this serves the [...] to the same purpose, that Hems, & Hahs do thy guifted Ghost­ly Fathers, that is to lose time, and put off thy Commo­dity, namely Wast-Paper, whereof thou endeavourest to obtain the Monopoly, and thereby vndo hundreds of Fami­lies that live by writing lewd and profane Playes, for when thou hast ingrost the whole Commodity of Wast-paper in­to thine own hands, their works will be left upon theirs; and in this thou takest a more wise and rationall Course, then thou didst heretofore in writting Indentures against them. For thou knowest not how to write in any other strain, and therefore to let thee see how easy it is to attain unto thy gifts, I will now speake unto thee a few words in thine own way. Dost thou not remember William Prynne, when the long Parliament according to the antient known fundamentall, established Custome, Practice, Usage, Example, of all Rebels, Traytors, Cades, Tylers, Straws, set open the Prisons, Goales, Dungeons, Cages, and tooke the Prisoners, Felons, Malefactors, Jayl-birds into their Protection, Patronage, Safeguard, Tuition, and among others, thy self William Prynne aforesaid, with thy Brethren Companions, Copemates, Associates, Burton, Bast­wick, Lilborn, Poe, &c. How the Sts. Brethren, godly, wel­affected, rod out to meet thee, with the Sisters, Helpers, Damsels, Hand-maids, behind them, on the tayl of the Beast, struck with Antechristian Superstitions, Idolatrous, Rosemary and Bays to celebrate, welcome and congratulate thy Remitter, how they dawb'd, dashed, defiled and pol­luted thee the said William Prynne with Durt, puddle, greetings, Salutation, that thou didst look more like un­to a Pimp, Pander, Bawd newly carted than an Utter-Bar­rister Triumphant, and with how durty and filtly a grace, fashion and demeanure, thou dist bow, stoop, and lowt to thine Idolaters, the Rabble rout, crowd on both sides of the street, or streets, who made an Idol of the Rings of thine Ears, even as the Jaws did of their Ear-rings. This verely William is thy perfect Stile, and right manner of ex­pression, [Page 6] in which thou art the f [...]eer of thy windy Stuff because thou comest easily by it, for thou doest but turn over thy Concordances, and the Indexes of thy Books, and wheresoever thou findest any thing of Quake Tremble and Shake from the motion of the Heavens to the wagging of a Dogs tayl, thou applyest it right or wrong unto Vs, and that it may seem to be to some purpose, thou dost always, print it in CAPITAL LETTERS, because such were heretofore, to very good Purpose imprinted on thy cheeks by the Ministration of that Son of Be ial the Excecutioner. But I cannot understand how thou or thy Rabble of Sts. could answer the Churches for commiting the abominable Sin of Bays and Rosemaryness which they had before and have since so often condemned, for if it be Idolatrous and Superstitious (as they have determined) to sticke those Creatures in the windores of Ste [...]ple-houses, much more must it be on their own Vessels. All that they have (in mine opinion) to say for themselves, is that they serv'd thee up (like a Westphalia Ham) with Bays, as thou art a Pagan Poet, according to the profane Custome of thy fore Fa­thers the Heathen, though he that has the patience to read thy vile untunable Dittys, will rather take t [...]ee for an Irish Ratcatcher that is said to Rhim Vermen to Death, then the English Prudentius or Robert Wisdom Junior, as some of thine own T [...]be stile thee, according to the Flesh for thou dost abuse Scripture most unconscionably against it's own ex­press command, in casting holy things into Doggerel, which is worse and more abominable then unto Dogs, and this thou performest so dully that some of the Vertuoso's have been puz [...]ed to find out the reason of it, till they were informed that when thou writest, thou dost use always to set a Deaths head on thy Desk before thee as one Campanel­la a Popish Frier, is said to have done the Pictures of those to whom he intended to address his writings, and found it most certain upon several experiments, that the person to the Resemblance of whose Countenance he could nearest force and screw, his own was always most pleas'd with his writings; And this they are confident is the natural rea­son why thy compositions are so flat and dul, that [Page 7] they will hardly hold till the Ink is dry, and when they are printed, not one of an hundred will endure the stiching, but turn to such homly uses as they are most fit and proper for. Truly William, if I were your friend I should advise you to leave this freak of the Deaths head, lest the young Gentleman of the House, surprise you again, as you know) they once did at midnight, and make you drink healths-Sickness in it again on your bare Marrow-bones. But I wonder in what part of the world thy Readers live, if there are any such Crea­tures in nature; verily they ought to have their shoul­ders grow about their heads, like John Mandevile's Peo­ple in Afrique, for there is more of labour and drudge­ry, than understanding required, and they ought to have a large measure of Patience, Long-suffering and Ignorance, that can endure to read one Page of thine: For as in the North, the more durty and foul the High-waves are, the larger measure they allow to their Miles; even so dost thou to thy tedious dull Impertinencyes, in so much that some are of opinion that thy Readers ought to be Diet­ed (like Running-Nags, before they can be in breath to read thy long-winded Periods, which none but, such as thy self will submit to, for if few words do best with the Wise none of those will ever endure to have any thing to do with thee. And yet I have heard that thou dost not a little glory that thy works have past through all sorts of times, (but only those wherein they were re­futed by the hand of this old Antagonist the Hangman) without dispute or question. It is very true indeed, they are utterly incapable of confutation, as some places are rendered impregnable by their barren Rockey Seitu­ations, or by being fortifi [...]d with Mudwals and Ditches, He that should venture to Encounter thee at thv own Weapon, might be said to Revive the old way of fighting with Sandbags, the true Types of thy dry disjoynted Stuff, and beside must of necessity cite so many seve­ral sorts of Wares, from Plums and Sugar, to [...]undungus and Rats bane, with which thy works are always bound up, that his writings will be charged with Quotations [Page 8] as full and dul as thine own; But since so many Chand­lers and Habberdashers of smal wares, have undertaken to confute thee, and proceeded so far therein already, it were an act of great imprudence to take the taske out of their hands who are best able to go through with it. And therefore I shall leave it to them to determine, whether thou hast substantially and solidly prov'd the Quakers to be Iesuitical Romish Capouchin Frogs, with maskes on their faces put on by the Jesuits and puld off by chee, as thou dost confidently undertake to perform in thy Title Page. Truly William I do confess those Jesuits are dan­gerous fellows, thou hadst best looke about thee and have a care, for it is verily believ'd by many knowing Persons, that they have always set thee on work no less then the Independants: and have receiv'd a better return from thy Horse-like drudgery, though thou hast no more wit to perceive then a Foole has to know by what hand it is set on work. And if they bewitched the Quak­ers (as thou dost confidently affirm) it is most certain they have drawn thee into that feat too. For if it be true as some carnal Learned men aver, that Witches fetch the materials of their Medicines, from Gibbets and Pil­ [...]es the Parings of thine ears have been among their In­gredients, and thou are guilty thereof.

But I fear I begin to be like thee, that is tedious to no purpose, for I do not expect that any thing can do [...]ood upon thee, who hast been so often incorrigible to [...]e Laws, for as the strenght of two men in their wits is [...] sufficient to hold down and quiet one Madman, even [...] art thou proof against all reason and light, and there­ [...]e I will cast away no more upon thee, but leaving [...] to thine own Darkness, with the old saying, bid thee twice Goodnight.

John Audland.

THE ANSWER OF William Prynne.

John Audland,

THou Quaking Quack, Jesuitical Romish Franciscan Frog, See my Quaker unmasked, pag. 1. 13. Thou that art the Devils dice-box which he SHAKES, Rattles, wags, to gull, cheat, delude, and seduce the intoxicated giddy-headed, English Nation. Thou that art sick of thy Church, and hast catch'd thy Religion like a Palsey, Epilepsy, Ague, and art taken with Tertian, Quartan, Quotidian cold fits, at thy Super­stious, Idolatrous Jesuitical Meetings, Assemblies, Conventicles. See my Healths Sickness, p. 150. The Northern blast, pa. 90. The Pope cros­sing the Cudgels, p. 297. Whereas thou saist I have no Eares, &c. therein thou shewest that thou hast no Light, Reason, understand­ing, For as a house is judged to be a house in Law as long as any part thereof is standing, and a light piece of Gold is good and lawful En­glish Coyn, currant with allowance, although it be clip'd, filed, wa­shed or worn; even so are my Eares, legal, warrantable, and suffici­ent Eares, and good in Law, however they have been clip'd; pared, crop'd circumcised, and I have a better Title to the Remainders then thou hast to thine, for they have been twice adjudged to me by the Laws of the Land, which thine never were. For those parcels, scraps, shreds, that I was deprived of, did but confirm my Right to those that are (see my own Abridgement at large, pag. 29. Lisle upon Gerrard, pa. 26. The Legality of Treason, in two parts, S. G. upon both, pag. 666) left, for exceptio firmat legem in casibus non exceptis.

This shews that the light within thee, of which thou dost vapour, brag, vaunt, and extol thy self so much, is but a kind of dusky Owl-light, [Page 10] a trembling, twinckling, stincking stuff, which thou carriest in thy Paunch, Guts, Bowel, as an Ox, Bull or Cow doth Tallow to make Candles of, or the Cattle of Lincoln shire do the Fewel of the Countrey, and thou knowest who it was that looked over Lincoln, and cryed, All's mine, as he will in time do over ye Quakers, Frogs, Vipers, See my Hidden works of darkness, p. 400. A Looking glass for a blind guide, p. 79. Fryers a Fry of Frogs, p. 220 &c.

Whereas thou sayst, urgest, and objectest, that I would have made an Act of Parliament, therein thou art mistaken, deceived and de­luded, for I would rather have marred, spoyled and perverted one ac­cording to the sense, judgement and opinion of the House (and ejus est interpretari eujus est condere, see Bra [...]on) by putting in, adding and in­certing some thing or things of my own invention, wit, contrivance, that had not passed their Votes, and puting out, eracing, and expun­ging other things, which had, which cannot be said, held, or judged to be a breach of Law, because it was before it was made one, and if it had been so, yet it would have proved no great crime, fault, offence, for exchange (thou knowest) is no robbery. See The foot out of the snare, pag. 53. Prynnes Principles, p. 200. which is more then you can say, produce, or alledge for your selves, who are a generation, Spawn, Lit er of Vipers, Frogs, Serpents, so obstinate, peremptory, incorri­gib e, that you break the Act of Parliament, at the same time that it is put in Execution against you, like unto a Cut purse that picks a Pocket when he is going to be hang'd, for you croud, thrust and intrude your selves into Prisons by shoales, that you may in defyance of Law, Go­vernment, Authority, meet more then five together, although it be in the Goale. See my Sword of Christian Magistracy suppressed, p. 550. The Sectary dissected, p. 82.

Whereas thou saist I write in the stile, form, language of a Convey­ance, therein I do according to my Profession, Calling, Vocation, and if thou hadst done so too, thou hadst been but a Mechanick still, and hadst not ordain'd thy self a Hedge-Sir Iohn of an Orderless Order and unruly rule, the Original, Rise, or beginning, whereof is as uncertain as the Head or Heads of Nile, or the hatching of Woodcocks, for no body can cell from whence it came, (See, Truth Triumphing, pag. 79. The Jesuite a lebusite, p. 904.) a Church, or rather Chappel indeed, that is built upon a Quaking Dog (mark that) or flat quick sand, with­out supertor or inferior in it, like the Knights of King Arthurs (See the Seaven Champions of Christendome) Round Table, or the Serpent Am­phisbaena (of which, see Pliny (that has a head at both ends.

Mahomet the false Prophet of the Turks, was the first Prophet, Pa­triarch, Founder of the Quakers. For he had trembling trances, and frantick fits of the Falling sickness, in which he had Revelations, dreams, Visions whisper'd into his ear by a Dove Pidgeon or Widge­on, that he had instructed and taught, used to pick seeds out of his ear or ears; which seeds, are the seeds of your Church as well as his, for they produce the very same fruits, effects, workings in both, and both equally hope to be saved by him. And hence it is, that all your wishes, longings, desires are in the Turks overrunning of Chri­stendome; [Page 11] for as both they and you account Fooles, Ideots, Mad men, Saints; you do not doubt but to pass easily for such with them, for your great abilities in those gifts. And therefore as your Brethren the aforesaid Turkish Mahometan Fanaticks, devote, destine, damne, themselves to destruction, meerly to tire, weary, make work for, and put a stop to the Christians in their Wars: and fill up Ditches, grafts, trenches with their bodies, carcases, outward men for their fellow Mussel men to march over; even so ye also think to weary out the Officers of Justice, with your numberless numbers, and render your selves as hard to be cast out as Legion the Devil incorporate did, of whom ye are a Type. See The Stationers Beacon fired, p. 1000. The Sectary in Sippets, pa. 202.

By all which, it appears that ye have a Turk as well as a Pope in your bellies, and that ye delight in Persecution, in affliction, Tribula­tion, as some old extravagent fantastick fornicators, find a pleasure in being whip'd, and out of these sores ingender one another, by aequivo­cal generation, as Flyes blows Maggots, which afterwards become Flys and blow others. See my Romes Masterpiece, p. 808. Settle brain for a Sectary, p. 9. A siringe for a sore sinner, p. 78.

That you are Jesuitical, Romish Franciscan Frogs, Witches, Sorce­rers, appears in that ye meet to quake, tremble, quiver, and converse with your Spirits, lmps, Familiars; and that ye came from Rome out of the North, from whence evil and destruction cometh, as I have pro­ved, cleared, demonstrated, and evinced in my Quaker unmask'd, p. 84. Lights Darkness, p. 26. For as the Needle in the Marriners Compass Trembles (mark that) and points to the North, even so do ye, ye trem­bling Quivering, Shivering Quakers. And as Witches are most fre­quent in me North, and the colder a Climate is, the apter are the Inha­bitants thereof (see my first answer to thyself) to quake, &c. It follows that Quakers and Witches are of the growth of the same place, and both of the same Nature, quality, and condition; For as Witches swim upon the water like light scum, even so are Quakers, the scum of the earth, that shake themselves like water-dogs when they come out of a Pond (see my Popish Royal Favorite, p. 800. Sweet sips of Soul-Savingness, p. 53. Lastly, as witches liquor their staves, and fly through the Air; even so do Quakers liquor their throats with inchant­ed Potions, and gape to suck in the air that it may fly through them, & blow the light within them; (see Emmot and Gilpin, pa. 7. Alderman­bury bottle opened, p. 20.) at their Exorcisms rather then Exercises of Devotion. Whereas thou saist I was branded, burnt or Stigmatiz'd in the Cheeks, tis true, I was so, nor am I at all asham'd of, sorry for, or abashed thereat, but rather set a greater value on my self therefore, as I beleive I have very good reason, cause, consideration to do, for I was only us'd like a sealed measure, burnt, branded for being true. See my Verses written on this occasion in the Tower of London, in haec verba.

Of this Opinion William Prynn was the
Sixt day of March six hundred thirty three.

Nor was it improper, unfit, or unbecoming a man of my Profession, cloath, vocation, that is, to measure equal Law right, Justice between [Page 22] man and man. See Truth Triumphing, p. 10. The Pricking Provender of P [...]lacy, p. 907.

As for the Jesuites, who thou faist made use of the scraps of my Ears, to bewitch the Quakers, &c. If they did so, it was no fault of mine, nor am I bound to answer for it; for when the aforesaid pa­rings, scraps, shred, were sever'd from my freehold, they were no longer mine, nor am I to be accountable for the evil administration of them, when they were out of my power, charge, cuition. But if they had been in my own possession, and the Jesuites had stollen them to be­witch the Quakers to listen to their enchantments: It is not Just that I should answer for their Ears and my own too. See Speculum Iesact. p. 95. I be frantick Franciscan, p. 700. A hole pick'd in the Popes coat, p. 30. Whereas thou saist the Brethren; Godly &c, rode out with the sist­ers helpers &c. I do confess, thank, acknowledge their loving kindness therein; And if they did evil in sticking Rosemary and Bayes upon their Vessels, bodyes, outward Folkes, as thou saist against the doctrine and discipline of the Presbyterian Church: It is no more then the Members, Tooles, Limbs of the Devil and thy Synagouge did to the Pa [...]iarch Patron, and Founder of their Order Iames Nayler, whom they exalted above his brethren upon an Ass, and ran bare before both, against the Fundamental, known establish'd Rule, Canon, Constituti­on of their disorderly Order. See The Buckle of the Canonical Girdle, turn'd behind, p. 63. The Quaker Quash'd, p. 4.

Whereas thou saist my works are bound up in Hatcases, &c. If thou wouldst but buy one of those, and put thy hat therein, it would operate upon, and instill into thy Noddle, sconce Logger head more se se, reason, understanding; and teach thee better manners then to keep iron before a Court of Justice: by which thou dost but shew, declare, demonstrate, that thou hast a Crack, Flaw, soft place in thy Scull; and in that respect art very careful to keep it warm, least thy sickly brains (if thou hast any) should take cold. And as for those Chandlers and Haberdashers of small wares &c. which thou saist have undertaken to oppose, answer, confute me.

Verily they will find it a harder task then they are aware of, for I have already written, Printed, published, 160 odd Works, Books, Labours; and before they have done with those, do not doubt to have as many more in a readiness, and to find imployment, work, business, enough for them all; as long a Church and State can furnish, store, supply me with subject, matter. Provided I may have process enough to carry on the work; and can but procure, induce, engage our Presby­terian brethren the Nonconformists to help, aid, and assist me, which (it being so much for their ow advantage, interest, concernment, and they having at present nothing else to do) I do not doubt to obtain.

Will. Prynne.

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