An ANSWER To Sr. Timothy Touchstone At John the Brewers Lodging, At the Sign OF THE Naked Truth, AT TYBURN.

HOnest Tim, To tell you in plain Truth, I am in Love with your Stile, for that it takes much in this Age, a­mongst the Commonalty, as in Bartholomew-Fair, the Fool is the wisest Man in the Play, the very shew of him is a Jest; and any thing that's serious put under a Fools Coat must take well; for to write damn'd serious, as Mr. Presbiter, or Mr. Papist. In this Age Sence is flung away, but your way I must applaud, for that Buffoon fashion of your Discourse, certainly is the best way of abusing persons in the World, in any sort of Notions that are to be Insinuated.

For look you (said I Mr. Tim.) Can any person be at Stampford in lincoln shere at 2 a Clock in the Afternoon, and take water with Sir Edmond Bury Godfry at White-hall Stairs at the same time? I say he may, and be as visible as Jo. the Brewer, at the Sign of the naked Divel: (for say I) to have 25000 l. per Annum, to mannage that Estate well, and to mannage the Government, is too much for one Man that hath other matters to consider, as a Regiment of Players, Pimps, Whores, Fluters, Scriveners, Chymists, Presbiterians, Papists, Phonaticks, and an unconstant Temper. But this (say I) may be man­naged with Discretion; and how, quoth Timothy? I'le tell you, When I am at Court, how easie a matter is it for one to follow St. Pauls Rule, to be all things to all men, to make fair promises to the business in hand, and afterwards to know nothing of it; then to place it on the negligence of my Servant not to mind me of it; and to call him Rogue and Rascal for his negligence. This is commenda­ble, this is satisfaction without doubt, to any reasonable person, and does well enough for any publick matters.

But hang it, I hate to be a Courtier, to Hauk and Hunt in the Country: To kiss my wifes waiting Gentlewoman, to ingratiate my self with the Citisons wives in Town, is a better Life behalf; [Page 3]and a Man does it with more popularity, for (say I) It's more com­mendable in the City to go to Church with ones own Wife, and to have his Servant follow him, with a large Embossed Bible, and to be serious, and know nothing of the matter at Church. It must needs please God, and create popularity, and graft a flourishing Presbiteri­an Head upon the Crabtree Stock of Popery. But let the Church of England be neglected, because it's not inclineable to mutation, as also those persons that are or shall pretend to be true to the King and Church, but I had almost forgot Tim, that those persons that are true to the King and Government, must be run down with noise and nonsence, And why? Because they advise the king not to part with any point that belongs to him of right, and that for the peoples sake and safety, and for the King to pretend to com­mand his own Servants to obey him, and justify him when done, it's for certain Treason, but if it be not so, we'l set such a Countenance upon it, that none but a Papist durst contradict it.

Now Tim, I'le tell you how I mannage my private Affairs; in plain truth, I hate any man of business, except it be such as brings me mony (for I abhor durty Acres, the Clamour of Tenants or any thing that pretends thereunto.

I had once several persons of Honour and Quality for my Trustees, that keep my droping Estate together, but they went such formal ways to work, as I abhor'd them, being not persons of dispatch, taking the trouble of looking over Bills, casting them up looking over Parchments drawn by impertinent Lawyers, filled with nonsensical stuff, Provisoes of Redemption and such like fopperies. At which time I had a Fel­low, tho Tim that I implied in my business, that you mention, that effectually im­proved my Estate 1900 l. per Annum, and those Rents which were ineffectual, he made them effectual; so that my Estate was in some sort of plight. But this formal way of doing Business, was trouble some; I therefore turned him out of my Service. (but to say truth, he was willing to be rid of me) for such a Master and such a Servant and such Trustees, you may imagine, could not well agree. But how do you think Tim I rewarded him. I being a man much in Credit (as any Alderman in the City) got acquainted with the famous Scriveners, and also with a cunning Rump Solicitor, who I knew to be men of business, and Rogues that had the command of mony, for when all is done those sort of fellows are the best being men of dispatch and if they do lye and cheat, they do it without troubling me and its no matter if I pay in pro and con 10 and 12 per cent. ready mony is the life of all things, and if by their Designs they beat down the value of my Lands and Wood in Order to their or others pur­chase, for I have found a great many old cunning Rascals, that will take pains to get 3 or 4000 l. by a Purchase: It's a Credit to be in a Srivenor and Bankers Books. But the fellow that served me, I think I shall be even with him, for I have imployed the Scrivenor which is a man of Reputation, and possibly may be a Parliament Man, and my Rump Solicitor, now my Trustees, to tease that fellow at Law, upon pretence of cheating me, and that pretence cloak their designs, but they can make nothing of the matter. But now I think one, the Cheat will be the other way, for I being careless, did not much mind it, and I have this comfort, that none will conspire my death for my Estate, but there has been abundance of dirt flung and I am sure some will stick, and I shall bear the Charactor, that I am a person that minded not things of this world and so not fit for it. As for my Executors I shall give them little trouble, as for my Heirs I have none. Be now say I a good Plot may repair all sorts of negligence.

Now Tim, I expect to hear from you, but I request that you will leave off your Fools or Knaves Coat, and disguise not your self under a Jesuittical or Presbiterian way of Lying. Be like the Church of England whose Doctrines are plain and intel­able.

Praise God, and honour the King.

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