SINCE his great hurt by a fall from his horse about three yeares and a halfe before his death he enjoy­ed no health. Yet did he not give over the exercise of his charges either in the Church or in the Schooles, and very seldome mist preaching once a weeke, and reading two Divinity Lectures. All his life time he was much given to devotion, but in that last sickly time he was so extraordinarily taken up with holy private exercises that he did almost nothing else but pray and meditate. He kept to the last houre that neatness of language wherein he [Page 2]was so eminent, and the readinesse of his memory which afforded him mat­ter of solid discourses upon any subject offered to him in questions,

Vpon Tuesday Febr. 26. he awaked in the morning so weake and opprest in his breast, that he thought himselfe not able to preach that day, yet taking heart, he was led and helpt up to the Church. Being got into the pulpit with much difficulty, he fainted, and some wine being brought to him, he would not taste it, chusing rather to expect Gods help, then to doe any thing which might seeme to border upon indecency. And he was not disappointed of his hope, for after he had read his text, which was Ps. 16.9. My flesh shall rest in hope, he spake with more vigour then he had done of a long time before, and applied the doctrine to himselfe giving an account of his faith and hope to his hearers, taking his leave of them in a manner, and preaching his owne fune­rall Sermon, as if he had a prophetical [Page 3]knowledge that he spake the last time to his people in the Church.

Vpon Thursday the last day of Febr. he found his oppression so much in­creased in the morning that there was no small feare of a suddaine death. Be­ing then visited by his colleagues who prayed by him, he desired them to remember him that day (which was a Sermon day) in the prayers of the Church. After the Sermon a great company flock'd to him to bid him farewell, and to receive his blessing. He look'd upon them all, and spake to them with much facility & presence of mind. To such as he knew to be of an exem­plary life he gave praises and incourage­ments to vertue and piety. Those in whose life he knew there was matter of blame he would not in down-right termes rebuke before that great compa­ny, but going about in a discreete way he would (adressing his speech to them) commend those vertues that were op­posite to their vices, and would say to them that were somewhat given to [Page 4]tricks, that of all crafts, the master-craft was to be an honest man.

Seeing a blind woman in the compa­ny he told her. You want the eyes of the body, but you have the eye of faith, pene­trating as farre as heaven. You see not the light of the Sunne, but God will let you see the brightness of his face.

Then turning his eyes upon a Gentle­man who was a Roman Catholique, he said, This is a worthy Gentleman, and speaking to him, he said, Sir, I suffer great paines, but God will have mercy upon me; I have many wayes offended him: Yet my conscience beares me witness that I never preach'd or writ any thing but what I be­leeved to be consonant unto the word of God.

Next, he applyed himselfe to his col­leagues, and said, Fare you well, my Ma­sters, I have that satisfaction in my mind, that I leave this Church in the hands of persons whom God hath endowed with great gifts, and above all, with an exemplary piety. I make no doubt but that you will carefully looke to the conduct of the flock [Page 5]committed unto you. One of them hav­ing answered, The Lord grant, Sir, that we may imitate you, for you are that good servant who not only have not bu­ried your Talent, but have very much improved it. You have done good ser­vice in your time, and your labours will live, and doe good when you are gone: He replied, Ah Sir, you know not how much you grieve me by speaking so: for I have not done all the good that I should have done, & that little benefit which the Church hath reaped by my labour is not from me, but from the grace of God in me, as it is usuall with him to doe a good effect by a weake instrument, I am conscious to my selfe that I have neglected my duty in many things, and that I have offended my God; but I have loved his holy truth, and I hope in his mercy; He is my Fa­ther and my God, and Iesus Christ is my Saviour; Whosoever beleeveth on him shall not perish but have everlasting life.

His friends told him that he did him­self harme by speaking so much. It is true (said he) but I will dye glorifying God.

The four or five first dayes of his sick­ness he spent in expressions of deepe hu­miliation. His prayers were vehement, fervent, and full of penitent sorrow. He acknowledged himselfe the greatest of sinners, and the most unworthy of the graces which he had received of God. He abhorred his owne ungratefullness, aggravating his faultes, and despising all that others commended in him. Lord (said he) I have done nothing but deser­veth punishment. Thou hast heaped bles­sings upon me, thou hast honored me with a holy calling, but I have not laboured ac­cording to the great worth of it; I have mingled mine owne glory with thine, I have often neglected thy service to seek my particular interest; O how much self love, how many perverse affections have opposed the Kingdome of thy Son within me! How many times have I grieved thy good Spirit by a thousand idle thoughts and carnall affections! But though it had been but justice in thee to have crusht me in thy wrath, yet thou hast alwayes shewed thy self a mercifull and gracious Father un­to [Page 7]me. In very faithfulnesse thou hast af­flicted me. Indeed thou hast sometimes beaten me with thy most terrible rods, thou hast hid thy face from me for a mo­ment, but thou hast remembred me in thy great compassions.

His devout expressions suffered but little intermission, & his holy medita­tions none at all. For if sometimes he was kept silent by a drowzy fit one might see by the lifting up of his eyes & hands that his heart was with God. And every time that he resumed his dis­course, it was evident that his speech was but the attendence of a longer me­ditation.

As when he began thus, Lord thou wilt do it, thou art faithfull in thy pro­mises, I am thy creature, Thou hast led me, and taught me from my youth, O forsake me not in this last period of my life: Have mercy upon me, my God, my Father, have mercy upon me, O Lord hear, O Lord for­give, O Lord hearken and do, deferre not, for thine own sake, O my God; even for thy Sons sake, who hath loved me and hath given himself for me.

That meditation of Gods mercy he did much stretch himself upon, saying. The mercy of God is infinite as himself no sin so great but may be remitted. How great was Aarons sin that made the golden calf? How grievous that of David in the businesse of Ʋriah? And that of Salomon (whom God had so highly honoured) whose heart was seduced by the love of strange women to the abominable worship of false Gods; And yet God said of him, that if he brake Gods statutes and kept not his commande­ments, he would visit his trangression with the rod, and his iniquity with stripes, but neverthelesse he would not utterly take his loving kindnesse from him. Then ma­king application to himself he cryed out, Thou wilt pardon me, even me also, O my God; Thou wilt deliver me from every evill worke, and save me into thy heavenly Kingdome. Let me dye the death of the righteous. Let me see thy face in righteousness. Let me taste those goods of which thou hast given me many foretasts.— O how happy a thing it is to live in Gods fear, and to dye in his peace!

His sicknesse being violent and his paines sharp, one of the Ministers seeing how he suffered, bad him to be of good cheere, because the time of his deliver­ance drew nigh: How welcome you are to me (said the holy patient) with that good news! Wellcome kind Death. O how happy shall I be to see my God, to whom my heart hath been of a long time aspiring! He will be mercifull to me. Pray to him that he per­fect his worke in me. Thē feeling his pulse. It is intermittent (said he) and to another it would presage a sudden death, but my soul cleaves so fast to this wretched body, that it shall have much adoe to come out of it.

Sometimes the violence of his pains extorted some complaints from him. O Lord, (said he) lay not too heavy a hand upon thy poor servant. Thou hast suffi­ciently afflicted me to make me sensible of my sin. Then correcting himself he added. Nay, Lord, I am far from mur­muring against thee; I have kept my self from that in my long trials. Why? I have deserved infinitely more then I suffer. Bruise this dust and ashes, my body; and [Page 10]save my precious soule. As miserable as I am, I would not exchange my condition with that of a King, while I hope in the grace of my God.

He would be entertained with good discourses, and delighted much that his friends should helpe him with those texts of Scripture which were the fit­test to strengthen his faith and raise his hope: And when they began a text he would end it, and added something to it, or did illustrate it with some inter­pretation. As when one told him the words of Jacob, I have wayted for thy salvation, O God; he said; Many of our Doctours by that salvation understand the temporall deliverances which God did pro­mise his people: but I will apply it to my self in the same sense as you take it. When the words of the hymne of Zacharias were used to him of the tender mercy of our Lord whereby the day spring from on high hath visited us. He added pre­sently. Yea it is that Sun of righteous­nesse with healing in his wings. Like­wise when he heard that text of P. 130. [Page 11]I wayt for the Lord, my soul does wayt, and in his word do I hope, he said; that word is the promise of the Gospel that whosoever, believeth in Jesus Christ hath everlasting life, That is the word which my soul doth wayt for.

He had very often the Ps. 51. in his mouth, and insisted especially upon this verse, The sacrifices of God are a broken Spirit, a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise; and then he would say, That sacrifice, O my God, I of­fer unto thee; Thou knowest my heart, and how it is bruised and wounded with sorrow that I have offended thee. Forgive me, my God, graciously forgive me all my sins, deale with me as thou didst with the poor Publicane, as with the humble Canaanitish Woman, as with the converted thief; O let me be this day with thee in Paradise, crucifie the old man within me, kill that man of sin which is too quick and too strong, and raise me unto new­nesse of life, that I may behold thy face and be with my saviour Iesus Christ.

He had a particular love for the ho­ly [Page 12]tongue; Seeing a Student that was learned in the same, he desired him to read before him some Psalmes in He­brew: Then he began to reckon how many names were given to God in the Old Testament, making learned consi­derations upon each. Thus passing from one good discourse to another, he gave occasion to the Student to aske him whether he thought that Hebrew was the Language used in the Kindome of Heaven: That is not revealed (said the Doctor) neither do I think that the Lan­guage of Heaven is known here in Earth; but I think that wee shall learn it in a moment when God shall be all in all, and that is that tongue of Angels which St. Paul mentions. This is as other things which God hath prepared for those that love him, things which eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, and which are not come into a mans heart.

The next Lords day morning being visited by the Minister that was to preach in the morning, he desired him that for his sake the Congregation [Page 13]should sing the one and fiftieth Psalme, which he would often repeat with a profound humiliation; He had also the hundredth and thirtieth in his mouth very often, and the two and thir­tieth.

Once having said the first and second Verses of that Psalme: Blessed is he whose trangression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord imputeth not iniquity and in whose Spirit there is no guile, he added, ‘Thou knowest Lord that in sincerity and without guile I humble my self before thy face: I am a miserable sin­ner and durst not lift up mine eyes to­wards thee, did I not trust both in thy commandement and promise. Such as labour under the sense of their mise­ries are those whom thou callest, say­ing, Come unto me all yee that labour and are heavy laden, and I will ease you. O then let me come unto thee. Draw me Lord that I may run after thee: I am tyred, I am weary to be ab­sent from my God. My soul thirsteth [Page 14]for God, for the living God, when shall I come and appear before God. Alas! I am unworthy of it, for I am conceived in sin; My whole life hath been a continued transgression: yet farre be it from me to doubt of his power and faithfulnesse. Where sin aboundeth his grace aboundeth much more. It is not for the righteous, but for repenting sinners that he hath gi­ven his Son, that whosoever belie­veth on him should not perish but have life everlasting. Lord I believe, help thou my unbelief: Increase and strengthen my fuith: It is now weak and small, but it is true and un­fained, and stayeth upon Jesus Christ onely: There is no salvation in any other: he is the way, the truth, and the life; None can come to the Fa­ther but by him. Away with all other intercessions; Away with all merits of works, all our righteousnesses are but pollutions. Ah my God! I have no righteousness but thine, for I am con­ceived in sin. I never did any work so [Page 15]good but it needs pardon. Mercy, Lord, Mercy. Pardon me my sins, Par­don me my righteousnesses. Wash me throughly from mine iniquity & cleanse me from my sin. Purge me with Hyssope, but let it be dipt in the blood of the Lamb without blemish and without spot, which taketh away the sins of the world. Thou knowest, Lord, that I have loved thy holy truth, and that I have believed thy promises. They are the joy of my heart. They are the comforts which have kept up my soul from being cast down with sorrow; O God, perfect thy work within me. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right Spi­rit within me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation, and uphold me with thy free Spirit.’

When by too long a bending of his Spirit and voice he found himself, spent and constrained to intermit these eleva­tions, he would say or cause to be read before him some Psalmes and chose them himself, leaving out those verses [Page 16]which were not for his present use. As when he said the 6. Psalme, he would goe no further then the 4. verse, Return O Lord, deliver my soul, O save me for thy mercies sake, then came to the 9. verse: The Lord hath heard my supplication, the Lord will receive my prayer, & then said, All the rest of the Psalme is not for me; For death is not my fear, but my joy and deliverance from a languishing life; and I have no enemies.

He that read Psalmes to him would al­so skip over that which was not for the Doctor's use. And if sometimes he did forget some text fit for his turne, he would presently take notice of it. As when the 31. Psalme was read to him, He said to the Reader, you have omit­ted the fat [...]est and most convenient text for me; into thine hand I commit my Spirit; Thou hast redeemed me O Lord God of truth: and you have omitted some­thing about the 11. Verse: I left it out purposely (said the Reader) because you are not a reproach among your neighbours, nor a fear to your acquain­tance, [Page 17]neither do they that see you, flee from you. You see that all your Sheep are flocking about you, They blesse you and they crave your blessing. ‘I am not sorry (said the Doctor) That my Ministery leaves a good savour after me. I beseech God with all my heart that he send faithfull labourers into his harvest, which may do that holy work better then I: O Lord I have not been diligent as I should have been, but I have obtained grace to be faith­full. For with all the affection of my heart I have studied to speak and to defend the truth, and I have been grieved with the affliction of the Church. O Lord purifie her from all scandall: Let her be blessed and let not the adversaries of thy truth triumph over her for ever.’

So humble he was, and such a con­temner of himself, that he could not a­bide those that exprest before his face the great value which they set upon him, or said any thing to his commen­dation: And when they came out with [Page 18]some praises, he rejected them with a kind of indignation. Away (said he) with that flattery, pray to God that he have mercy upon me.

His sickenesse was an inflammation of Lungs, with a burning Feaver, which redoubled every day at the same hour. Once comming out of a strong fit, which had handled him very sore, he said: My God how weary, how tired I am! When shall I rest in thy bosome? When shall I be filled with the true goods? When shall I drink in the River of thy pleasures? I am unworthy of it, O my God! but thou art glorified by doing good to the unworthy. It is not for them that are whole, but for them that are sick that thy Son the great Physi­tian was sent. Who so believeth on him is past from death to life.

He was compassed about with his fa­mily and his chief friends. Every one comforted him according to his Talent. Being asked by one of them whether he did not perfectly hope in the grace of God which was presented to him. I hope (said he) but not perfectly, yet as [Page 19]much as I am able. I suffer now the pains of death: But God will redeem my soul from the power of the grave for he shall receive me.

When some comfortable place of Scripture was brought to him, where­by he found himself strengthened, He would rise to embrace him that spake it, and being too weak to doe it, he would take his hand and kisse it, giving him some blessing, and saying, It was the Spirit of God that spake by your mouth. The Lord blesse you and increase his graces in you.

Another time after an exhortation which had affected him very much, he said, These are excellent words. The Lord by his grace deeply print them in my heart.

This text of Eph. 1. was alleadged to him. Blessed be God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us in all spirituall blessings in heavenly places in Christ. He added the follo­wing verse, According as he hath cho­sen us in him, before the foundation of the World.

Sometimes he was in such a rapture, hearing them that spake to him of the excellency of that glory which he was going to possesse that he opened his mouth and his eyes in an exstaticall countenance pronouncing but few words with great intervalls between, as, O what is it to see Gods face in righteous­nesse! O when shall I be satisfied with his likenesse!

Many times he would say these words of Psal. 36. How excellent is thy loving kindnesse O God! Therefore the Children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings. They shall be abundantly satis­fied with the fatnesse of thy house, and thou shalt make them drink of the river of thy pleasures. And these again, For with thee is the fountain of life, and in thy light shall wee see light. And out of the Psal. 67. Blessed is the man whom thou choosest and causest to approach unto thee, that he may dwell in thy Courts. Wee shall be satisfied with the goodnesse of thy house, even of thy holy Temple.

Very often he would repeat the 27. [Page 21]the 63. and the 71. Psalme. In the last staying especially upon these words: O God thou hast taught me from my youth, and hither to have I declared thy wandrous works; Now also when I am old and gray-headed, O God forsake me not.

No day past but he prayed for his Children both present and absent, say­ing. The Lord blesse them, and give them his peace, his love, and his fear.

Every hour his family did look that he should expire, but he examining his pulse would say, You shall see me very sick, but I shall not so soon dye.

The four first dayes of his sicknesse he spake both day and night with little intermission; So that it is impossible exactly to follow the sluency of his dis­course and the fervency of his expres­sions, especially in his prayers. So much wee relate here as wee his dili­gent hearers can remember, for all this was spoken before many and worthy witnesses that resorted to him to hear him, and to learn to dye. But the six last dayes of his sicknesse he was for the [Page 22]most part of the time in a deep slum­ber, against which he did earnestly strive. Prick me, said he. Now I should watch. It is not time now to sleep but to dye. Watch and pray (said my sa­viour) that you enter not into tempta­tion. O great God, abandon me not to mine infirmities, but so preserve and keep up my Spirit that I may glorifie thee even when I am a dying.

And though after such expressions he fell presently into his slumber, one might see by his gestures, and by the words which he spake now and then, that one might say of him as the spouse said of her self, He was asleep, but his heart waked. He open'd his eyes, He lift up his hands, He said often Lord be mercifull to me, Be gracious to me. Even when he seemed to be deep a­sleep he would come out with five or six words, which shewed what his mind was set upon. Death (said he) is swal­lowed up in victory. And a good space after: It is the gift of God — It is my hope — It is my comfort. [Page 11]Sometimes the same thing came often to his mind and mouth. For a whole day he would say every time that he awaked: The Word was made flesh.

When he was too long without speaking his friends were carefull to a­wake him, to know whether he had sense and knowledge still. Being a­waked he was asked whether he did lift up his soul unto God. He answered Yes, incessantly. He was asked again whether he would be glad to go to God: O (said he) when shall I see him, that good God!

He was not much troubled with his slumber in the morning from seven to nine, because then his fever was lesse, which used to redouble about nine. In that intervall he would speak with fa­cility. That intervall was husbanded to comfort him and to pray by him. He would then hearken to prayers with great attention and to all the good things that were said to him: And it is observable that in this his sicknesse he was lesse deaf then he had been ten years before.

Many times he would feel his pulse, ‘and then said: O what a grief is this? I cannot dye. Good God have mer­cy upon me; Set my soul free. I am weary of being absent from my God. I desire to depart and to be with Christ. O my God, come fetch me, shorten the dayes of my combat. Let me dye I beseech thee. Into thy hands I commend my Spirit, for thou hast redeemed me. O Lord God of truth.’

His Chamber was full of people day and night. Once opening his eyes after a slumber he said: Here is a great com­pany. One answered him. Sir they are your Sheep that desire you to call for Gods blessing upon them.

The Lord blesse them (said he) and give them his fear and the promised sal­vation.

The two last dayes of his sicknesse ad­ded to his burning fever and deadly slumber contractions of sinews, and convulsions. Every hour was thought to be his last. None look'd to hear him [Page 25]speak any more. All his friends thought that his deep sleep would end in that of death. But about midnight he opened his eyes and said to one of them that stood by: I shall soon be eased, I am go­ing to my Father and my God: He hath heard me indeed. And soon after: I go to him with confidence for he hath arrayed me with his robe. Then being raised in­to an unexpressible rapture he said, I see him, and with an exclamation, O how beautifull he is. Being thus exalted in Spirit far above the world, although he was alwayes tenderly affected to­wards his family, he said to them that were there present, putting them far with his hand. I renounce all earthly af­fections. I will no more love any thing in the World but thee, O God, who dost alone possesse me. After these words he continued a good while in that ho­ly rapture causing more edification in all the standers by which his counte­nance without words, then with all the words which he had spoken before. His eyes were clear and sparkling, his mouth [Page 26]open and panting after the living God. His armes stretcht up to heaven, and his body striving wonderfully to rise, as it were to meet and to embrace that beautifull object of his love. All that were present wisht that God would re­ceive him in that happy instant. But his hour was not yet come.

All the next day, which was Satur­day the ninth of March, he struggled with the agony of death, being tor­mented with frequent convulsions, and still fighting the good fight by faith, hu­mility and patience. Towards the eve­ning the tokens of his approaching death made his assistants to double their endeavours to comfort him. He understood all that was said to him, and shewed holy elevations in his prayer, he gave thanks to those that prayed, say­ing, the Lord hear you, and the Lord blesse you.

When he heard the glory at hand ex­tolled in some emphatical termes of Scripture, he returned into his former raptures. And once more he pronoun­ced [Page 27]those words of Psal. 17. I shall be satisfied with thy likeness when I awake. And twice or thrice Come Lord Jesu, come, come, Lord Jesu, come. And for the last time that text which he loved so much, He that believeth in Iesus Christ shall not perish, but have everlasting life. Then a little after: Lord Jesu receive my Spirit. He that comforted him said to him: Sir you shall see your Redeemer with your eyes. To which he answered with an effort, laying his hand over his heart, I believe it.

That was the last intelligible word which he pronounced, though he made yet great efforts to make himself un­derstood, and was a quarter of an hour speaking with a fervent affection; But the fleames that filled his throat and pa­late suffered not the assistants to under­stant any of his words.

After this he was half an hour with­out speaking, yet without loosing sense and knowledge. His friends made the last prayer, during which he did per­petually lift up his eyes and hands to [Page 28]heaven. And some moments after he quietly gave up the last breath, dying with peace and joy visible on his face. It was half an hour after midnight, the tenth of March 1658. in the four­score and tenth year of his age.