DEare Brethren and fellowe mem­bers, by what authoritie or right, rather with what boldnes, dare our Brethren the Belly and Back oppresse vs, and so Lord­like commaund vs? it is a shameful thing, extreame folly, and a thing very vnséemly, when the seruaunt ruleth, and the Lorde obeyeth, the slaue commaundeth, and the Maister serueth: truelie we are worthy of the greatest torments, that lyke drudges will become a scoffe and scumme to others. Like fooles we haue made the Belly and Backe our Lords, with great labour we get and prouide al things may please them: poore soules we haue no rest, sometime the Belly commaū ­deth one, sometime the Backe another, one saith to y^• Foote, arise sluggard, awake, the other to the hand, bestirre thée a­pace, get me some meate, prepare mee some dainties, fetch me some wine, lay the Table, the day passeth, the time go­eth, and I haue eaten nothing: Hunger and Thirst my two enemies come & threaten my death, the one on the one side, the other on the other, and therfore except yée spéedely help me I die, and these are their daielie and vsuall complaints.

Syster, you saie trueth, and amongst the rest no one hath more cause to cōplaine of them both then I, for I labor sun­dry waies to maintaine thē. In the Winter I suffer cold, in the Summer I endure heat, my ioynts are benummed with the one, and dryed with the other, I labor day & night to pro­cure for thē both what I can & yet they are neuer satis-fied.

I knowe it, but yet your toyle is not equall with myne, for I am often a common Paratour and solicitour for them both. Manie times I am faine to braule for them, when I haue small thanks for my labour, somtimes I am a Patrone or rather a Latrone to robbe the Ministry by selling of ly­uings, sometimes a Iudge, and eftsoones a witnes, somtimes a Counseller, otherwhiles a Merchant, and then after a re­tailour of wares, I counterfait Lawes, I tell lyes, I sewe seditions, I stirre vp Traytors, I slaunder Princes, vnder cullour of trueth I beguile and deceiue, I [...]weare and for­sweare, I breake promise, I allure to whoredome, to theft, to murder, and to all mischiefe: I make no account so I may get them ought, whether per fas or nefas, by right or wrong. If I come among Princes, I flatter, if among the noble or ritch, I sooth them vp with swéete wordes, Si ai [...]rt aio, si ne­gant nego, looke what they say I affirme it, and all this I doe, that by flatteries I may féede the Belly dai [...]lie, & clothe the Back brauelie.

And I praie you is my toyle any lesse? are my deceites inferiour vnto yours? am I not forced through their pro­curements (if I may without shame open my follies) to picke and steale, sometimes by priuie filching to make all fish that comes to net? sometimes by open robbing violent­ly, to lay hands vpon others? What treasons, what poyso­nings, what murder is it or what wickednes, that I doo not for their sakes accomplish? whose goods haue I spared? whose bloode haue I not spilled, to serue the turne of these my Lordlie Maisters?

Haue I spared the Prince, the Father, the Childe, the Sister, the Brother, the Husbande, the Wife? Nay what age, or se [...]e haue I pittied, to please these ouerruling & com­maunding Lords? I want no examples to confirme my say­ings, [Page] yet least you should imagin me to say more then I can proue, I will sette downe a fewe for the maintainaunce of my cause. And first to begin with Traytors, did not Curio (at first Caesars enemy, yet afterward to maintain the Bel­lie and Back) sell vnto Caesar for 26000. crownes the Cit­tie of Rome? How vnfaithfully did Polymnestor of Thrace murder Polydorus King Priamus some, and all for his gold to maintaine his brauerie, and to sette him one degrée high­er in his Kingdome. Aul. Posthumius Albinus, béeing sent to ouerthrow Iugurtha, was corrupted with money, and in stead of warre most shamefully concluded a peace. How did Standley and Yorke, two English Traytors in Flaunders, deale with the most vertuous and famous Quéene of Eng­land, whom God preserue long to raigne ouer vs to the con­fusion of all forraine and domesticall Traitors.

When the Romaines warred against the Latines, Cassius a standerdbearer f [...]ue Crassus Brutus his sonne, because for money he would haue betrayd his Father, and opened the Gates to the enemies.

Heraclius the Emperour, slewe Phocas his Father to maintaine himselfe in the brauerie of an Empire.

Richard the third, reaching with ambition of a crowne, most vnnaturally slew his two little Nephewes, his hart contriued it, but I performed it.

Frotho the King of Denmark had thrée sonnes, Halda­nus, Roe, and Scato, who when their Father was deade, stroue all togeather for the Kingdome, by meanes of which, Haldanus the elder, slew y^• two yonger, that hee alone might sway the Kingdome.

Semiramis hauing obtained of her Husband Ninus, to sit but one day in the princelie seate, and for that day to sway the Kingdome, imprisoned her Husband, & afterward slewe him, that she alone might liue in all daintines and brauerie.

These and infinit other, haue the Belly and Backe [...] me to destroy, making me as a slaue to serue their appetites.

Séeing each of you haue iustly made your complaints, as Nature hath placed me lowest, so giue me leaue at last to declare my griefe: I acknowledge the Tongue is greatly enforced, the Handes meruailously troubled, and the other members wonderfully oppressed, to serue the turne of two, not Maisters by Nature, but Monsters by abuse, yet consi­der my trauaile, and you shall find it nothing lesse then the rest. How doo I trott vp and downe, and as a Porter togea­ther with my fellow, am forced to beare vppe the rest of the members. Whatsoeuer must be had, I am the Messenger to fetch it, is there any dish to féede the Belly? then must I runne to buy it, is there any fine apparrell fashionable for the Backe? be it neuer so farre, I must trudge for it. And al­beit y^• the waight of the members which nature hath gyuen be sufficient to charge & ouerburden my féeble force, yet must I haue a loade deuised by arte, to oppresse the weakenes of my slender ioynts, so that I thinke my burden heauier then Aetna, or the waight of the Heauens vpon the shoulders of Atlas, with griefe héerof my boanes consume, my synnowes shake, my humors dry vp, and my ioynts quake, like as when two weake Pillars beare vppe the burden of a heauie house. Besides, neither can the Tongue come to vtter her spéech, nor the hands to execute their purpose, without it be by my help and furtheraunce, so that if the Belly bidde the Tongue deceiue, I poast out to performe it, if y^• Back com­maund the Hands to steale, or shed blood, then I haste to make them finish it, so that in all actions I am a seruaunt in most vile slauery to these vniust oppressors, and therefore haue as much cause to complaine of their tyranny in euerie thing, as either of you in any thing.

Certaine it is we all doo serue them dilligently, we la­bour for them painefully, and yet are rewarded slenderlie. [Page] The Tyrants of Sicilia neuer oppressed their subiects with more violence, then they do [...] vs with their exactions, and yet we haue thereby no benefit, for had wee any recompence, it woulde asswage the burthen of our trauaile, and make our labour swéete, but such is the condition of these two, that al­beit we dailie giue them, hourelie labor and continually prouide for them, yet they neuer cease complayning, that wee giue them nothing.

Yea, for though I labour to day to féede the one, and tra­uaile to morrow to clothe the other, yet if I doo not the next day, and the next day also giue them stil, they complayne of myne idlenes, of mine vniustice & negligence: saying I am vnnaturall, vnkinde, slothfull, and giuen to ease, and that I forget the ende wherefore I was made, which is, (they say) to serue them in all necessities, what said I? nay rather in all superfluities.

In the same state am I, and so they deale also with mée, for though I nowe fetch them in things not wholy needfull, but for the most part curious, it may bee that a while they will be contented, but shortly after they crie it is too little, and except I procure the one varietie of dainties, and the o­ther diuersitie of sutes, they are neither contented, so varia­ble are they, and ful of alteration, so that I cannot tell what to compare them to, except to the lake in the furthest part of Affrick, among the people Trogloditae, which is thrise in a day bitter and salt, and yet anone pleasant and sweete.

Nay rather they are like the gaping Gulfe in Sicil, na­med Charybdis, which euer deuoureth, & is neuer satis-fied, [Page] or like the fire, that the more it hath, the more it still consu­meth: for Polypus had neuer more shifts, then y^• Back hath suites, nor the Camelion more cullers then y^• Belly Cookes.

I thinke the Crocodil is not more gréedy then the Bel­lie, nor the Leopard more variable then the Backe. Theyr nature is like y^• stone Siphnius, which heated in Oyle war­eth hard, but let alone becommeth soft. The more we plea­sure them, the more they displease vs, and the more wee be­stowe vpon them, the more they are vnthankfull.

Will you sée the patterne of a gluttonous Pantrey, then looke vpon the Bellie, for he is a smoking Kitchin of varia­ble viands, Gurmand [...]se is his Porter, and Gluttony hys Cooke, the lustfull Lyuer like a flaming fire, boyleth vnder the great Kettle & Cauldron of the stomack, the breathing Lunges, like blowing bellowes, [...] by the Liuer as by a Forge, the Wealand pype as it were a Cestern, bringeth in liquor to dresse the cates, and the entrayles like a sinck con­uay the filth downe the Fundament. Nowe all this while who fareth the better for theyr co [...]kery, nay which of vs are not the worse for the Bellyes vntemperancie, and which of vs smarteth not for the Backs prodigalitie? Wherefore Bretheren, and fellow members, let vs not be subiect to two such Cormorants, which regarde not our benefit, but theyr owne profit, consider the seruillity, they haue long kept vs in, what labour and paine, what carke and care, they haue continually put vs to, if we cast off their yeake, we shall bee freed from slauerie, if not, wee liue in continuall drudgery, they rule not by reason but by rigour, their lust is a law, and their will a warrant, and therfore to stake off their oppressi­on, were wisdome, and to liue at liberty, wilbe our onelye happines.

Sister, I promise for my part, to yéeld to your perswa­sion, and whereas in times past I haue wrought full harde for the maintenaunce of these my iolly Maisters, I purpose now to take mine ease, thinking it better to liue at rest, thē to toyle and haue no thank for my labour, and therefore let them worke for themselues if they wil, for I neither meane to féede the one, nor clothe the other.

Neither will I step ouer the threshold, to fetch in anie thing for the sustenaunce of the one, or maintainance of the other, but meane to take my rest in mine Inne, expecting howe these that haue so long ruled as Lordes, can become nowe seruaunts to themselues.

In this dooing wee shall abate their pride, and plucke downe their Peacocks plumes, so that though nowe they holde theyr heades full high, yet within these two or thrée dayes, I am sure my gluttonous Maister the Belly, wyll sing a newe song, for I promise for my part to be no instru­ment to feede, nor no seruaunt to serue him, and as for our gallant youth the Back, I doo not doubt but y^• want of your seruice, will make him in short time after beshrew himselfe. But hushe, Lupus est in fabula, behold where they both come of whom we haue long talked, let vs shrinke a side to heare their communication, till opportunity serue for vs to speake.

What greater misery can happen in this life, then when as in a naturall body, where the members should serue each others necessitie, and mutually helpe & succour one another, [Page] they shall not onely denie their ayde vnto the body, but con­spire also the death of the same: by meanes of which, not the body alone dooth consume and pine away, but the mem­bers themselues doo consequently perish: and yet are they so blinded with enuie, and ledde on with selfe loue, that they cannot perceiue their destruction at hand, till present perrill doo teach them, and their owne smart doo warne them, what folly it is to be led by enuie, whereby to make a mutinie in a naturall bodie, in which there ought to be a cordiall con­sent of amitie, and a tuneable harmonie of loue.

I knowe not what hath mooued my fellow members to this conspiracie, for my part I haue naturally fedde them, and louingly nourished them all, yet they complaine, and not of me alone, but of the proude Back also, whose pride & pro­digalitie, hath oftentimes (indéede) depriued both them and me of our due sustenaunce and naturall nourishment, euen this statelie and lordly Backe, the pyllar of pryde, the wa­ster of wealth, and the window opening to all wickednes, a leader vnto luxurie and vncleane leacherie, a bulwarke to beate backe chastitie, & the roote from whence all presump­tuous pride dooth growe, for whose faults, it is no reason I should suffer the malice of the members, that not onelie in mine office foster y^• rest, but am neerest to him in all things.

Brother, I haue hearde your vnbrotherly spéeches, in which, though you would to cleare your selfe, make me the cause of y^• members variance, yet if you iustly examine your owne condition, you shall finde that your gluttony, and vn­temperancie, doth not onely distemper the members, but al­so consume that should serue for my maintenaunce: & ther­fore good cause haue the rest of our Brethren to condemne your excesse, and dislike your extortion: for they serue an e­uill Maister, who is alwaies crauing and neuer contented, euer feeding, and neuer filled, for what is more vnsatiable [Page] then the Bellie? that is this day crammed, and to morowe crauing? Who when he is full, can dispute of temperance and continencie, yet presently after doth shake handes with all vertue. You saie that I am the pillar of pride, but it hap­peneth then through your vntemperaunce, you affirme that I am the waster of wealth, but you forget your owne delica­cie, that consume more at one banquet in a day, then I doe vppon apparrell in a yéere. You make mee a leader vnto all leacherie, but you remember not that Sine Cerere et Baccho friget Ʋenus, and that I am but the effect, you the cause, I the flame, you the Oyle, I the meane, but your self the mat­ter, you say I am the bulwarke to beate back chastitie, but you consider not that y^• full Bellie is not able to kéepe con­tinencie, you make me the roote of pride, but it is your selfe that is both roote and trunck, to foster the brauest branches of pride, and to cherish all wickednes, and vice: and therfore you suffer not for mee, but for your owne faultes, and your disorder in féeding, hath made the members breake, and my garments bare.

Now the matter beginnes to worke, when Théeues at­tache one another, true men come by their goods, but of both, there is neither barrell better Herring.

Why, had euer Prometheus more shapes, then the backe sutes? or y^• Hydra more n [...]w heads then the back new Gar­ments? not so variable for their matter, as changable for their fashion: this daie French, to morrowe English, the next day Spanish, to daie Italianate, to morrow for fashion a deuill intarnat, O tempora, o mores! To daie you shine in sutes of silke, to morrow you iet it out in cloth of Golde, one daie in blacke for show of grauitie, an other daie in white [Page] in token of brauerie, this day that cullour, the next day ano­ther, nowe short wasted, anon long bellied, by and by after great Buttoned, and straight after plaine laced, or els your Buttons as strange for smalnes, as they were monstrous before for greatnes, this yéere bumbd like a Barrell, the next shottend like a Herring, nowe your hose hang loose like a bowe case, the next daie as straite as a pudding skinne, one while buskind for lacke of stocks, another while booted for want of shooes, and thus from you that are the graund Mai­ster, doo the inferious members fetch their fashions, & these be the mutabilities of men.

As for women, you make them through your pride in lookes like Lais, in fashions like Flora, in maners like Thais, more wauering then the wind, and more mutable then the Moone: in Gate & iesture most daintie, in the Church most angelicall, in the stréetes modest & amiable, abroade among men in finenes superficiall, but at home by themselues most sluttish and bestiall. Yet I meane not all but the worst, and such as entertaine your pride, who from the top to the toe, are so disguised, that though they be in sexe Women, yet in attire they appeare to be men, and are like Androgini, who counterfayting the shape of either kind, are in déede neither, so while they are in condition women, and woulde séeme in apparrell men, they are neither men nor women, but plaine Monsters.

Their heads set out with strange hayre, (to supply na­ture that waie defected, or rather by their periwigges infec­ted) do appeare like the head of Gorgon, sauing that they want the crawling Snakes of Medusa, to hang sprawling in their haire along their faces, & yet they retaine the pro­pertie of this Daughter of Phorcus, for they turne a num­ber of their beholders into stones, who while they affectio­natlie gaze on their painted pride, doe lose the reason of men and become like stones, without anie féeling of a vertuous mind, the onelie Image of a man.

But as they are Venerian Dames, euen so in their flat­teries [Page] to beguile fooles, they imitate the nature of the Cypri­an women, who comming into Syria and seruing in y^e Court, would coure downe and become footestooles for the Ladies, thereby to ascend into their Coaches, for which cause they were called Climacidae, of Climaca, which y^e Assirians name a Ladder: but héerin onelie they differ, in that our Phrynae, and Cytherean Damsels, become not Ladders for Women, but footestooles, yea and pillowes for Men. And therefore it is not without cause that Tyresias saide, (béeing chosen an Arbiter betwéene Iupiter and Iuno,) that there were In vi­ro, tres amoris vnciae, in femina, nouem, in a man three ounces of lust, in a woman nine: for what meaneth els their outward tricking and daintie trimming of their heads, the laying out of their hayres, the painting and washing of their faces, the opening of their breasts, & discouering them to their wastes, their bents of Whale bone to beare out their būmes, theyr great sléeues and bumbasted shoulders, squared in breadth to make their wastes small, their culloured hose, their varia­ble shooes, and all these are but outward showes. As for the rest, least their rehearsall might rather hurt, then profit the honest eares, I will couer them with silence, but all these are your prouocations, these are the fruites of your pride, the signes of your waste, and the abridgment of my fare, for while you spend so fréelie vpon your Backe, the least share falles to the Bellie, nay▪ I am faine oftentimes to [...]ast, to beare out the prodigalitie of your pride, and then [...]anting nourishment to féede the members, I am complained on for your fault.

I perceiue you can Arcem facere ex cloaca, and Lapidem e sepulchro venerari pro Deo, make much of your painted sheath, and make a Mountaine of a Molehill. You can loue your selfe best, & spie a mote in anothers eye, forgetting the beame in your own, I am not so variable in my sutes, as you [Page] are in dainties of diuers sorts, nor so sumptuous and gorgi­ous in garments, as you are costly in cates, but you count al too much that goes besides your owne bellie, and thereunto you bend the summe of your talke, like Pithonicus, y^• when he gaue answer of the Oracle, so spake, as the voice see­med not to come from his tongue, but from his belly.

What should I speake of your two greatest Gods [...] and [...], gluttonous féeding and excessiue drinking, by which you make a number not men but beastes, that haue their soules but in stedde of salt, to kéepe their bodies from noysome stincke, who though they appeare men, are indeede but Ventres, that place their pleasure in long feeding, and their delight in strong drinking.

I am not so changable in fashions, as you are choyse in dishes, what boyling, what baking, what roasting, what stewing, what curious and daintie conseruing, what Syr­ropes, what sauces, with a thousand deuices to moue an ap­petite without necessitie, and charge nature without néede. Did you not make Demetrius Phalerus consume euery yere two hundred talents, in néedlesse stuffing of your bottomles bagge?

And howe mooued you Heliogabalus at euery sitting downe, to spend no lesse then an hundred Sestertij? Made you not Philoxenus to wish that he had y^e neck of a Crane, that in féeding on delicate meate, and drinking swéet wine, he might feele the greater pleasure?

With this you made the Sodomites to abound,Ezech 16 which was the cause they were consumed with fire.

You made the Isralites héerin to offend,Exod 32 that after they had glutted their bellies fell to Idolatry.

You infected Esau with this greedines,Gene, 25 that he sold his birth-right for a messe of pottage, yea, infinite others haue perished by the Belly, and more by the Belly then y^e sword.

The King of the Cookes (that is the Bellie) ouerthrew the walles of Ierusalem, (saith Gregorie,) for while the Bel­lie is farced with Gluttonie, the vertues of the soule are de­stroyed [Page] by Leacherie, for Ʋicina sunt venter et genitalia. There can be no order in liuing, where there is no measure in féeding, and as a wild Horse if he haue the bridle wil cast his ryder, or carrie him whether he listeth, so an vntempe­rate Belly, leadeth the soule to all sinne, and the members to sicknes and sorrowe. Or as the Earth by too much rayne becommeth barraine of all good fruites, and bringeth foorth nothing but thistles and thornes, so the Belly ouercharged with two much foode, is vtterly voide of all vertue, & wholly barraine in well dooing, producing nothing but pricking thi­stles of ill example to hurt others, or choking thornes of beastly life to destroy it selfe. How manie doth the Bellie make Epicures, that say, Ede, bibe, post mortem nulla voluptas, eate and drink,Philip. 3 there is no pleasure after death, who make their Belly their Gods. Such are like Acephalus, whome the Mathematicians place before one of the wandering starres, with his head and mouth kissing his bellie. Or the Fish named Asinus, who alone of all liuing things (as Ari­stotle saith) hath his hart in his bellie, a number of which Asses the Belly maketh, that eate not to liue, but liue to eate.

As for vnmeasurable drinking, Authors haue written, and experience dooth tell vs dailie, that through abuse there­of▪ manie not onely liue not out halfe their daies, but therein consume that which should serue to clothe both me and the members. Archesilaus Pytaneus dyed by excessiue drinking of wine. Andebuntus a King of England at a Supper drank so much wyne, that béeing ouercome with the aboundaunce thereof, in casting and strayning himselfe he suddainly died.

Anacreon the Poet, a louer of wine, was suddenly stran­gled with a Grape. And many wee sée through your surfet­ting and swilling, are rouled into the graue before their na­turall time, that els might liue in happines and health. But nowe I remember Cato the elder, when he accused y^• glut­tonie and laciuiousnes of the people of Rome, sayde it was very harde verba ventra facere [...] non habet, to talke to [Page] the bellie that hath no eares, or els I might tell of a greate manie more, that indulgentes abdomini farcing their bellies out with fat, through fulnes of féeding by daie, and gorging their guts ful of wine with late drinking by night, are right Antipodes that neuer behold the sunne in his rising, nor see him in his going downe: such doe viuere ad faces et cereos, spend their time by torche light, while they consume y^e night among their cups, and snorte all day vpon their beddes. And these are your Lucifugi, or Lychnob [...], that liue contrary to Nature, who are as well knowne by their cullours, as the gluttonous Estriche by his feathers, some of them beeing more pale through distemperature, then those that are sicke of a feuer, others more ruddie then the Rubie, and more dée­per in die then the reddest Grape, but with the most pinguis aqualiculus prepense sesquipede extet: their fat paunches like a water trough standes out a foote and a halfe.

I talke not of other effects that accompany your glut­tonous bellie whē it is farst w^t wine. What lasciuiousnes in wordes, what wantonnes in gestures, what filthines in deedes, what swearing and blaspheming, what quarrelling and brawling, what murder and bloodshed, nay what wic­kednes is not an vntemperat belly subiect to, and most rea­die to accomplish?

Besides, howe doth your gluttonie chaunge Natures cō ­lines, into foule deformednes? how doo the eyes flame with flerines, the face flush with rednes, the hands shake wyth vnstedfastnes, and the féete réele through drunkennes? the head swimmes, the eyes dazell, the tongue flammers, the stomack is ouercharged, the body distempered, and the féeble legges ouerburdened, which, béeing not able to beare an vn­rulie Lord, [...] lay him in y^e durt like an an ouer ruled slaue, and so through your distemperature, your selfe not alone weakened, but the other members so diseased, as to reckon vppe the sicknesses and sores, of which the Bellie is cause, were to purge the stables of Augea King of Elis, or to sette them downe which were neuer knowne to Auicen, Galien, [Page] Hippocrates, nor all the Phisitions that euer liued, so that by these meanes it may be saide, that a gluttonous Bellye makes rich Phisitions and fat Churchyardes.

I had not thought the Backe had béene so good an Ora­tour: you haue taken great paines to decipher my gluttony, forgetting your owne pride and prodigalitie, but you knowe the morrall of Esops Ante & his Flye, he that speakes what he will, must heare what he will not, I will not say y^e Backe is a Monster, that can carrie vppon his shoulders, Landes, Castles, and Townes.

Nor I showe, howe the Belly deuoureth, not onelie Lordships, Reuenewes, and great possessions, but whatsoe­uer flyeth in the ayre, is bredde on the earth, or engendred in the Sea, all is too little to fill the vnsatiable Belly.

Your shining out in Silkes, hath brought many a man into the Mercers Bookes, and wrapt more in the Vserers bandes. Howe many hath the Backe made Banqueroutes, that to maintaine their outward iollitie, haue béene fayne to gage not Landes alone, but plate, goods, or whatsoeuer was ought worth, and in the end, either to take Ludgate for their lodge, or some worse prison for their harbour, and then their Wiues, Children and houshold liue after in pennury, through your former pride and prodigalitie, yea I and the other members hunger for that, which the Backe hath be­fore most vainly spent. Besides, you make the Landlorde to maintain your brauery, so stretch his poore Tenant in rent, that to serue your turne the Belly must fast, the Handes [Page] labour, the féete to trudge, and the other members toyle to their greate gréefe and sorrowe.

But thinke you that the Backe alone is cause of al this miserie? no no, the Belly hath héerein his portion, and that the greater part, how soeuer you would shift the matter vppon me, for although (as Plinius sayth) Simplex cibus corpori vtilissimus, the simplest meate is most profitable for the body, yet the Belly béeing not herewith contented, must haue dy­uers and daintie sortes of fruites, beasts of the earth, foules of the ayre, fishes of the Sea, and those not cōmon but rare, besides, banquetting dyshes of sundry sortes, made of swéete conceits to please your appetite. Moreouer, golde & cullours to adorne them, and swéete spices to sauour them, then the fattest and fairest, the yongest & sweetest, a cunning Cooke must be sought to dresse thē, and daintilie to prepare them, who turneth the substaunce into an accident, and nature in­to arte, that the full belly may become hungry, and the stuf­fed stomack renew his appetite, and while all these thinges must be prouided, the stocke wastes, the Landes are gaged and morgaged, and rather then the Belly shall want his su­perfluities, the Backe and members shall want their neces­saries, so shortly after followeth a topsituruey downefall of the whole state, which must be layd vpon the Backe, though wrought by the Belly, and shifted to mée though chéefely ef­fected by your selfe. But beholde where they are, who can giue equall iudgment whether of vs twaine doo most excéede or procure greatest wrong to the members. Doe you not sée them?

Yes full well, and better shoulde I thinke of their com­pany were it not for the malicious tongue, who hath contra­ry to nature made them enemies to me, that am by nature a friend vnto them.

We are espied, wherefore to decide this controuersie we will goe to them, as though we came but now within theyr hearing, but it shall not neede, for they approche to vs.

Deare Brethren and fellow members well met, I cannot choose but meruaile, what hellish furie worse than Megaera hath sturred you vp to be at enmitie with me, that haue al­wayes tenderly loued you, and what shoulde moue you to withdrawe from me my nourishment, that am a seruant to feede you all, in ministring to euerie one so much as nature requireth.

Because rather thou art a lawlesse Lord (howsoeuer thou couer thy extortion with the colourable glose of a seruant) alwayes crauing and euer commaunding, still feeding, and neuer leauing, thou art a bottomlesse whirlepoole of all glut­tonie, an vnsatiable sea of ceaselesse gourmandie, a rauenous cormorant that greedely deuoureth, an idle creature that ne­uer laboureth, thou settest the whole world vpon vntempe­raunce, making the rich a Nabuzardan, that rather bestowe more vpon Cookes to fill the belly, than on the learned to in­struct the mind. Thou teachest the poore [...] not [...], to liue after their lust, not according to vertue, cōsuming without care, not onely what shoulde maintaine their fami­ly, but that also that might otherwise paie their debtes, O bellie most beastial, thou causest all vncleannesse: O monster most vnreasonable, that workest all filthinesse: through thee come murthers, robbing and théeuerie: through thée come contentions, treasons and villany: through thée Kings reach at others crownes to increase their treasure, and Popes at [Page] Princes rule to inlarge their honour, through thée comes pride, warre, and deceit, enuie, hatred, and slaunder, to con­clude, thou art the chaser awaie of all vertues, and the haler in of all vices, and in thée as in a Troiane horse, is included not the ouerthrowe of one Citie, but the ruine of infinite Countries and innumerable people, thou art the bellows to kindle all lust, and the sacke that containeth all filth, the plague of vs the members, and the vtter ouerthrowe of the soule it selfe.

She hath nipt you verie neere, and méetelie well painted out your gluttonie.

And as much may I saie to thée thou proude pecocke, the porter of pride, the baite of bauderie, the lure of lecherie, thou roote of all riot, and beginning of all iniquitie, thou art the sturrer of strife to maintaine thy pride, and the nource of warre and all sedition, through thée Countries fall at iarre, and kingdomes are turned topsituruie, for thy brauerie false subiects forsake their Prince, and vilanous traitours betray their Countrie, thy leaprosie infecteth all the world, corrup­teth euery age, and defileth euery sexe, thy pride maketh the rich loath the poore, the child disdaine the Father, the neigh­bour contemne his neighbors, the wife despise her husband, and the seruant to make no account of his maister, all which being trickt vp in thy ornaments, thinke that Ʋestis virum facit, Apparell makes a man, but they forget Simia est simia, etiamsi aurea gestet insignia, that an Ape is an Ape, though hée be clothed in golde, to conclude, what vice is it whereof thou art not cause, nay what sinne whereof thou art not the be­ginning, the midst, and the end.

As well hath she decyphered your pride, but what should I saie vnto the tongue, as I haue patientlie hearde her, so déere brethren and fellowe members, giue me leaue to aun­swere her agayne. You knowe deare brethren, that the tong is but a little member, but it is nimble, and quickly slideth, yea, hardly may it be restrained, & therefore hath it no mea­sure in talking, for of a spark it will make a flame, and of one coale kindle a great fire, her wordes are but light, because they lightlie flie, and although they flie swiftlie, yet they wound deeplie, sting grieuously, & pearce inwardly, she may well be called Lingua, for she can Lingere adulando, smoothlie flatter, as she hath done you, but she hath bitterly bitten and slaunderouslie belied me, she perswadeth you that I am your Lord, and she telleth you that I am your enimy, but I know I am your seruant, and entirely loue you as a friende, the great creator of all things when he framed the world of one lumpe, made both you and me one substance, and ioyned vs together in one bodie, knitting vs in mutuall league, to the end we should be linked in friendly loue, he woulde haue all things common amongst vs, that none should challenge any thing proper to himselfe, so far as concerneth the vse of these naturall things, hee hath giuen vs euerie one our proper of­fice, to be helpers and ayders one to another, hee hath made me your seruaunt, and ordayned me your cooke to dresse for you that should serue for your nourishment, for as the Cooke by his arte doth make the meate méete for the mouth, so doe I by my naturall heate, boyle the same méete for the mem­bers. I conserue (at his pleasure) both your life and mine, and little is it that I kéepe for my selfe, hauing ministred to you that which is néedful, if you giue me ought, I take it, and whatsoeuer it is I am therewith contented, I digest it, and diuide to euerie one of you his portion, what is néedfull, that I retayne, what is hurtfull, that I cast out▪ I am your poore seruant, and therefore can giue you nothing, for except you [Page] giue me, my purse is alwayes emptie, it is not much that I demaund, neither doe I by nature desire that is daintie, for as I am placed in the middest, so doe I naturally loue mea­sure, if you giue me too much, your selues are cause of my di­stemperance, and of your owne sorow, if you ouercharge me you driue me to belching, to dronkennesse, to lecherie, to sick­nesse, and many diseases, if you giue me too little, you make me an image of death, my lookes heauie, my face pale, my skinne loose, and my bodie weake. If sufficient, a chéerefull countenance, a merrie and sober minde, a happy life, a quiet rest, and a sound bodie.

Therfore y^e rich must beware of too much, & y^e poore prouide for a little, and that little will serue me, for Natura paucis contenta, nature is content with a little, wherefore yée must take héede of measure being temperate, and sparing in gi­uing vnto me, for I distribute according to the quantity and qualitie you giue.

I knowe the tongue will perswade you that I am neuer content, but that you alwayes giue mee, but it is for your owne cause, you giue me often, for that you wil be often fed, for héereby you liue & haue your health, if you keepe me long fasting, then I desire no meate, but as the Phisitions say, I drawe from the entrailes and bowelles certaine filthie va­pours, of which matter are ingendered wormes, yea the gall is thereby troubled, and spreadeth his bitternesse through the inward parts, by this meanes in thinking to profite, you hurt your selues. But whatsoeuer y^e hateful Tongue saith, good brethren regarde her not, for she is the sower of dis­sentions, and the causer of all discorde, she is more slippery than an eele, more pearcing than an arrowe, she delighteth to make strife betwéene friendes, and to make all men eni­mies, she raiseth braules, procureth bloudshed, causeth warres, stirreth vp treasons, and prouoketh traitours, it is she that setteth the subiects agaynst their lawfull Prince, and maketh mutinies in a peaceable gouernment, it is shée that would ouerthrowe a happy state, in making the mem­bers [Page] at deadly variaunce, but deare brethren, though ye bée simple as doues, yet be as wise as the serpent Aspis, that to auoide the charmer clappeth one eare vpon the ground, and her taile vpon the other, so hearken not you to her perswasi­ons, but stoppe your eares against her flatteries: for if you continue in this hatred towarde mee, you will spéedely pro­cure your owne destruction. And me thinkes euen this smal time wherein you haue denied my nourishment, hath made you heauy, faint, and slothfull.

Brother, I sée thy reasons are good, and I perceiue nowe the malitious tongue hath lead vs awry, I well vnderstand that thou art no Lord, but in truth a seruant to the meanest of vs all, and that which hath most force to perswade me, is, the féeblenesse and faintnesse that I now féele, I know now that without thée we cannot continue, but that thou art the nourisher and féeder of vs all, wherefore I hate the bitter­nesse of the tongue that hath so vniustly accused thée, and I well finde by experience, that thou art no troublesome credi­tour, but art content with a litle, if we giue thée that which we ought, not so as much as we can: but what can the Back say in his behalfe?

As the Belly hath proued, and by reason declared that he hath bene malitiously accused of the Tongue, shewing that in déede he is a seruant, no Lord, a natural friend, no enimy, a preseruer of you all, no destroyer of any, if you moderatlie minister to his necessitie, and doe not ouercharge him with superfluitie, so I say, that the tongue hath enuiously touched and falsely burthened me with vntruths, for albeit in déede I cannot alleadge so much for my selfe as the Belly, by rea­son he hath a greater charge, and therfore deserues the more [Page] praise, yet cannot mine office bee wanting, nor my seruice missing in many respects, wherby it shal appeare that I am no Lord, but a helping seruaunt to you all, for as we sée that in a politique state diuerse men haue diuerse duties, where­of some are of greater importaunce than the other, for some are wrought by subtiltie of wit, others by agilitie of the mē ­bers, others by strength of the bodie: so in a naturall bodie, each member hath his seuerall dutie, and one may serue to diuerse and sundrie ends, the head as it is the highest, is oc­cupied in matters of wit, and is therefore a guide to the rest of the members, hauing the most of the senses placed about it, to the end it should warilie prouide for the profite & com­moditie of the others. The handes are busied in labouring, and ordayned to worke for such things as may serue to the maintaynance of the whole man. The féet made to trauaile & with their agilitie quickly to fetch what so is néedfull, yet hath not nature giuen them such strength as she hath pla­ced and setled in me, that where the other members cannot for feeblenesse, there I with my force doe beare out theyr weaknes.

Beside, whereas the tongue woulde perswade you that I am the author of pride, & causer of all wantonnesse, I would deare brethren, you should knowe that it is not in me, but in your selues, for looke what you put vppon mee I weare, and am therewith contented, I séeke not for that is curious, but that which is necessarie, Crimen non est in rebus sed in vsu a­gentis, I take no pride in silkes, no more than in cloth, if any pride be, it is not in me nor in the garments, but in the va­nitie of the eie and the lust of the heart, that are better plea­sed with the one than the other. If you giue me that wil de­fend me in the winter from colde, and in the Summer from heate, I am pleased, but if you withdrawe from me to couer my nakednesse, the one of those my two enemies will not onely bring mee to sicknesse, but you all in like case to death it selfe, and therefore deare friends and fellow members be­léeue not the vnfaithfull tongue, that swelleth with enuy at [Page] your peace, and therefore would faine disturbe your tranqui­litie, not caring to harme her selfe, so she may hurt you, ther­by to bring destruction to you all, her allurementes haue al­readie wrought you some smart, enfeebling your selues by withdrawing from the belly and me our necessaries, so that without you returne vnto your former amitie, there is no­thing to be expected but present death.

Brethren, the deceitfull tongue hath beguiled vs all, and hath intended thereby nothing but our ouerthrow, and that doe I too well féele in my feeble fainting ioynts, that through want of strength are scant able to beare vp the bodie, wher­fore let vs renue our former friendship with the Bellie, by whome we haue hetherto maintained our health, and with­out whome we cannot continue, let vs not hereafter be lead by the tongue, but as Nature hath inclosed her in with a double wall, and shut her vp as in a prison, so let vs charge the téeth and lippes to lock her vp, and according to their of­fice set a bolt before her for walking at large, and if these cannot containe her in dutie, then will we make the handes helpers by violent force to holde her in, & not without cause doth it behoue vs so to do, for by her meanes we sée (through this contention) the hands are weakned, the head bedulled, and the face apalled, the heart panteth, yea the Tongue her selfe is silent, what will followe now but a finall ende of vs all, if we doe not speedely minister to the Belly wherewith to féede vs, and to the Backe to kéepe vs warme, and there­fore I promise for my part, as fast as my fainting lims will serue, to trudge for somewhat for their maintainance.

And as readie am I to reléeue them, as I was before for­ward to pull from them, being sorie that I lent anie eare to [Page] the dissentious Tongue, wherby to displease natural friends, promising hereafter not to forsake them, for the perswasi­ons of any craftie enimie.

Then deare brethren bestirre ye, prouide some thing with spéede, and you shall finde how I will refreshe your fainting members, for as Nature hath made me your seruant, so wil I not faile in doing my dutie, and let this your smart warne you hereafter to liue together in mutuall loue, that as wee are all fellowes and members of one bodie, so we may vio­lently and voluntarily withstand all subtill entisementes of vnnaturall enimies, that shal go about to disquiet our peace, so shall our amitie in a natural harmonie be maintained, our bodily health the longer preserued, our quietnesse and peace still established, and our hatefull enimies inwardly grieued, to our continuall ioy, and their vnspeakable griefe.