PSALMES OF CONFESSION, found in the Cabinet of the most excellent King of Portingal, Don Antonio, first of that name, written with his owne hand. Wherein the Sinner calleth vpon the mercie of God for his sinne. Translated out of the Latine copie, printed at Paris by Federike Morell.
LONDON, Printed by G. Bishop, R. Nuberie, and R. Barker. Anno Domini. 1596.
PSALMES OF CONFESSION, wherein the Sinner calleth vpon the mercie of God for his sinne.
PSALM. I.
WHo shal giue water vntoEsai. 9. my head, and a fountaine of teares for mine eyes, that I may be able to lament and bewayle the losses of my soule with griefe agreeable thereunto? for there is a manifest and great cause of sorowe, when with the sight of my minde I behold mine auncient dayes, and my youthfull yeeres: in this meditation myPsal. 76. spirite hath failed me: for IPsal. 79. knowe what I was, yea rather what I should haue beene, and vnderstand what I am, and [Page] feare what I shall be: and the lesse I sorowe, so much the more I feare. I would to God I sorowed more, that I might feare lesse. But woe to me, O Lorde, for nowe a long time thou smitest, and yet I sorowe not: thou callest, and yet I heare not: thou knockest, and yet I open not the barre of my heart. The sorowes of deathPsal. 114. compasse me rounde about: and being filled with many sorowes without, I feele inwardly no sorowe that may worke vnto saluation. And I feele not onely the sorowes of old age, but I am a man of sorow from my youth vpward, and all myPsal. 87. dayes are full of trauaile and griefes: and yet I sorowe, because that alway sorowing, IPsal. 53. cannot sorowe. O marueilousEccles. 2. and vnspeakeable wisedome of the heauenly Physitian! O [Page] wonderfull goodnesse of the high King! O singular benefite of him that is the giuer of all good things! for thou, O God, giuest vnto me sorowe, least I perish in pleasures, and that I may learne to reioyce without offence: thou giuest me sorowe for a time, that I may not suffer euerlasting paines: thou afflictest my body, that thou mayest saue my soule: thou scourgest, that thou mayest heale: and killest, that thou mayest quicken. But alas, vnwillingly doe I receiue thy salue out of the secrete hand of thy mercie: and being ignorant, doe not acknowledge ye soueraigne medicine of healthfull sorowes, wherewith thou art mercifully seuere against me, and how doe I acknowledge it. If I earnestly desire to be deliuered from sorowes, [Page] who without sorowes cannot be healed? for howe shall he be healed without sorowes, who by delightes is made sicke? Therfore, O Lord, make me to sorowe, and teach me a sauing sorowe, that my griefe may be turned into ioy,Iohn 16. Psal. 12. and that I may reioyce in thy saluation, saying: Glory be to the Father, and to the Sonne, and to the holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning, &c.
PSALM. II.
DAyes passe, and yeeres slide away: but I vnhappie man, who after so many corruptions of my soule, after so many most grieuous and long falles, doe not yet repent, nor am afflicted for my sinnes, neglect the often falling againe into them, care not for rising from them, heaping [Page] newe vnto olde, and greater vnto lesse. What shall I doe, O Lord? or whither shall I goe,Psal. 138 when my last time shall come? where shall I be hidden from the countenance of thy wrath? or whither shall I flie away from thy face, when thou shalt call me vnto iudgement, and require of me accompt of the talent giuen vnto me? What shall I answere vnto thee? or howe shall I excuse my negligence, when thou shalt sit vpon the throne of thy Maiestie, and command me to giue accompt of my stewardship toMatth. 5. Luke 16. the vttermost farthing? Surely I will say, Lord, I suffer violence, answere for me: for whoEsai 38. am I that I shoulde answere vnto thee in iudgement? But what if thou compel me to answere? I will say as a man confounded, fearing, and trembling: [Page] O Lord, I haue gainedMatt. 25. nothing thereupon. Yea I haueLuke 15. wickedly and vainely consumed thy talent, and by loose liuing I haue spent thy goods. surely I haue spoken foolishly, by saying liuing: for I should better haue sayed by dying. But I then thought I liued, and loe I was dead, because I liued without thee my true life. And if I liued at any time with thee, I scarce remember it. Yea, if the life of a wicked man, may rather be called death, then life, I may worthily say, that I sooner began to die, then liue. For I did not perfectly vnderstand what life was, whē I had forsaken thee that art the life of liues, and the fountaine of life, & malice did supplie mine age in manifold wickednesse. I was scarce come out of my mothers wombe, and already [Page] was a sinner. Comming into the world, being yet ignorant of sinne, I did bewaile the sinne wherein my parents begotte me: neither did I altogether leaue bewailing others sinnes, when I cōmitted mine owne which I knowe, and did not be wayle. Being an infant, I followed iniquities, and spent my childehood, wherein IS. August. should haue beene pure, vnpurely: there breathed sinfull vapours from the slimie concupiscence of my flesh, and the spring of my youth, and did shadow my heart, that it could not discerne light from darkenesse, and the cleerenes of the mind, from the mist of lust: and traitrous and craftie pleasures did carie my weake forgetfull loose age, into ye headlong rockes of lust, so as I boyled vp in whorings, desiring [Page] to be satisfied in hell: from my childehood I grewe to growing yeeres, neither was I sooner growing towards youth, then my wickednes did growe ripe: and I was bold to growe wilde in diuers and shadowie lustes, by the which being drawen and entised with the gulfe of wickednesse, I wasIames 1. 1. Tim. 6. drowned to death and destruction. The euill and wicked dayes of my growing yeeres passed on, and I grewe toward youth: but I returned backward so much filthie in vanities, as I was elder. I was a yong man, and came to be a man: but vice alwayes florished in me in steade of vertue. I waxed olde and gray, and did not walke in thy wayes: but as a child of an hundred yeres, being nowe an olde man, I liue childishly. Where then [Page] haue I beene at any time innocent that I would be iudged of thee according vnto the time of mine innocencie, though thou diddest appoint it me vnto iudgement? ForPsal. 118. Psal. 61. Iob. 9. thou art iust, O Lord, and righteous is thy iudgement, and thou renderest to euery man according to his workes. And I feare all mine, because they are the workes of darkenesse: and I haue beene a worker of iniquitie from the beginning, and haue alway willingly followed the pathes of the vnrighteous. I haue wallowed in sinne as the swine in filthines, and as he was fed with coddes: so was I delighted with filthie and vaine wordes, and grieued with earnest & profitable sayings. I did communicate with those that wrought iniquitie, & did banquet with the chiefe [Page] of them, & did glorie in sinne,Psal. 51. being mightie in iniquitie. I loued to excuse, and could not accuse my selfe, and made heauie my heart: and the more vncurable is my sinne, for that I did not thinke my selfe to be a sinner. Neither did I only not seeke a medicine for my soule, that was sicke vnto death, but refused it being offered: yea, with an vnreuerent and vntamed mind was wroth against them, that would minister it vnto me. I persecuted them that reprooued me, and imbraced them that spake pleasingly to me, and was delighted in their speeches, that had not their heart right vnto thee. I studied deuises and lies, and in all things loued rather darknesseIohn 3. then light. Beholde, O Lord, I haue declared my selfe vnto thee: this is the course of [Page] my life, wherein I haue deserued thy wrath. This will I answere vnto thee, when thou shalt aske me of me: But doePsal. 25. not remember the offences of my youth, nor my ignorances, O Lorde: and enter not intoPsal. 142 iudgement with thy seruant, for no liuing creature shall be iustified in thy sight: but if thouEsai. 61. wilt enter, because thou art a God that louest iudgement, doe iudgement vnto me, but not iustice, and iudge me accordingPsal. 18. to the iudgement of those that loue thy name, that I may sing vnto thee merciePsal. 106. and iudgement. Remember, O Lord, that though I am wicked, yet am I thy seruant, and the sonne of thy handmaide,Psal. 81. and doe not looke vnto the multitude of my miseries, but vnto the greatnes of thy mercies:Abak. 3. and when thou shalt be [Page] angrie against me for my wickednesse: remember thy mercie, that thou bee not angrie with me for euer, but haue mercie vpon thy afflicted seruant, that my soule may praise thee, and confesse thy mercifulnesse. Glory be to the Father, and to the Sonne, and to the holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning, &c.
PSALM. III.
VVOe vnto me, O wretched man, because I haue made my Redeemer angrie against me, and haue rebelliously neglected his Law. I haue willingly forsaken the right way, and as a sheepe thatPsal. 62. refuseth his shepheard, I haue beene caried farre and wide round about through drie vnwatered places, wandring in the wildernesse, and not in the [Page] way. I haue gone to all rough vnaccessable places, and euerySapi. 3. where was anguish and tribulation. I haue beene wearied in the way of iniquitie and perdition, and haue walked in hard wayes, seeking rest, & finding none, because I did not seeke thee, O Lord, but was in a barren lande, in the countrie of death, where is no rest, but continuall labour and affliction of the spirit dwelleth there. When I was in honour, I didPsal. 48. not vnderstand: but as one of the flocke of brute beastes, my dwelling was among the walkes of wilde beasts. I dwelt in anguish with pleasures, and among thornes did I make my bed, and slept in death, and hoped for rest in torments. Nowe therefore what shall I doe? whither shall I turne my selfe in these so great dangers? [Page] All the hopes of my youth are fallen downe, and I am made like one that hath suffred shipwracke, who hauing lost his merchandize, swimmeth away naked, being tossed with wind and sea. I am caried farre from the hauen, and doe not take hold of the way of saluation, but am caried away on the left hand. The enemie hath placed nets for me which way soeuer I went, and snares for my feete: and I despised them, and walked securely in slipperie places, and flattered my selfe in sinnes. I thought youth was not helde by the lawe of death, and being deceiued by this confidence, I followed the filthie desires of my flesh, and gaue the raines beyonde all measure to sensualitie, following it whither soeuer the force thereof did carie me: and said, [Page] a foole in my heart, wherforePsal. 5 [...]. doest thou thinke of the ende before the middle? thou hast many dayes yet remaining, and maiest be conuerted when thou listest. So waxed I olde in sinnes, and a most wicked custome was turned into nature: and nowe like a bondslaue vntoBarnard. sinne, I serue as it were inchained, and as a mad man haling his owne flesh, seeketh to hurt himselfe, all reason of deliberation being quenched: so I more grieuously and dangerously haue hated mine owne soule: for the impenitence of my heart, and obstinate wilfulnesse, hath layed violente and wicked hands vpon me, and hath torne in pieces and exulcerated my soule: and so hauing brought vnto my selfe the heapes of hell, euery day more and more according to [Page] my hardnesse and impenitentRom. 2. heart, I doe whoord wrath against the day of wrath. I haue made triall sometime to shake off the olde yoke, but am not able, because it cleaueth to my bones. O that at length it may fall from my necke, that I may loue thee though late, it shall surely sal away, if thou O Lord command, and send me helpe from aboue. I confesse I haue not deserued it, but thou, O most gracious giuer, who makest the Sunne to rise indifferently vpon the good and bad, and grauntest temporall blessings to the vnworthy, euen when they aske them not: how canst thou denie spiritual things to those that shall require them? Haue mercy therfore vpon me, O Lord, and fulfill the desire of a poore man, thou that art riche in mercie,Ephes. 2. [Page] and art woont cheerefully toRom. 12. haue mercie, and doest purge the will from euill custome, and hearest the gronings ofPsal. 101. those that are bound, and loosest vs from the bands which we haue made vnto our selues, vnlesse we raise vp against thee the hornes of false libertie. Giue thy right hand vnto theIob 14. Psal. 36. worke of thine owne hands, that when I fall, I may not be bruised, and being bruised, I may not be drawen into theEsai. 14. deepe lake, wherein is no water. Deliuer me frō the mouthPsal. 16. of the cruell lyon, that is ready for the praye, and gapeth after my soule, that he may deuoure it: for thou onely art my protectour and deliuerer, and in thy mercie alone is all my hope. Let thy mercie thereforePsal. 3 [...] Psal. 3 [...] be done vnto me, according as I haue trusted in thee. [Page] I haue trusted, and shall not be confounded, but obtaining my desire, shall sing vnto thee: Glory be to the Father, and to the Sonne, and to the holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning, &c.
PSALM. IIII.
MY nightes passe away in griese, and vexe me with innumerable terrors: my conscience shaketh me while I am awake, and I am tormented therewith as if I were wounded with a two edged sword: my sleepe is troubled with diuers illusions, bringing me no rest but trauaile: I watch all night in my thoughts, & when as being wearied I endeuour to giue some sleepe to mine eye lids, by and by sleepe departeth from mine eyes, and I sleepe alwayes in sorowes, being wakened with an vnquiet [Page] wearines from the care of theIob 30. day, and all my inward partes are inflamed without rest. TheIob 33. meate which before I desired, is made abominable vnto my soule, and my drinke is mingledPsal. 101. with teares, and confusion is before mine eies, and rednes in my cheekes, whē I remember how grieuously I haue offended thee, O my God, and in howe many sortes I haue abused my strength and thy gitfes: I haue spent my dayes in vanities, euerlasting cares haue consumed me, and being caried hither and thither with senseles cogitations, I haue spent my time. I fained to my selfe dreames oftentimes, and reioyced: and vanished away being deluded in my vanities and madnes: I ascended intoPsal. 106. heauen, and by and by descended vnto the deepe: and whilePsal. 41. [Page] one deepe calleth another, my soule did consume in euill, & I did rot before the eies of men. I wished impossible things, & by the fantasticall fruition of them, I was made like vnto them that sleepe, and rising from their sleepe, haue found nothing in their hands. I am a vile worme, and yet, O Lord, I did neuer know thee, but with an high forehead haue exalted my selfe alone aboue all. I haue rashly boasted of my wordes, and in pride thought them to be wisedome. I was an enemie vnto my companions, and being angrie with many did reproche them without cause. I hated patience & loued wrath, and would be angry without reason. I cursed my seruants and familiars, yea and my selfe also when I was angrie, and scornefully reproched my [Page] friends. I did vnwillingly beare mine aduersities, and haue put my trust in man, more then in God. I heard the trueth vnpatiently, and answered the wise in furie. I sought iniuries and reuenges willingly, and neuer reserued reuenge vnto God. I waxed cruell against him that defended his owne cause: neither did a soft answere, or aProu. 6. gentle man please me. I tooke pleasure in strife and contention, and as a wicked man, did often sow discord & hatred among brethrē. I receiued with mine eares wholesome and good counsels, but did not apprehend discipline. I did with a milde countenance beholde such counsailours as tickled mine eares: but those that spake vnto mee with a free minde, I put farre from me. ITobia. helde not out my hand to the [Page] needie, neither did I eate myTobit. bread with the hungrie: the beggers and lepers did lie in the streetes, and I passed away turning mine eies from them, least my bowels should be stirred, and I moued with mercie, should giue almes vnto them. I payed not my debt to them that did lende vnto me, and did borowe to satisfie my inordinate desire. I coueted to be rich, that I might doe vnlawfull things, and in all godly dueties shewed my self poore: and what I wanted to godlinesse, did largely abound vnto my lust. I reioyced beyonde measure in all gluttonie and bankets, and with vnsatiable greedinesse, offended nature that is contented with little. My belly was as it were myPhilip. 3. god, & my glory in the shames of those that sauour earthly [Page] things. I sought the sweetest and most exquisite meates: and with the pretence of necessitie I did often shadowe the desire of pleasure. I put myPsal. 49. portion among the adulterers, and my familiar conuersation was among fornicators. I was immoderately conuersant in blood: and being like vnto bruite beastes, I was so ouerthrowne in this vice, that I shame to speake, what I shamed not to doe. Mine eare and my tongue serued vanitie, whilest by the one, the oile of sinners did make my head fat, and with the other I supplied often that, which others seemed to want concerning my prayse: and as oportunitie serued, I did set foorth to others mine owne prayse, and did alwayes reioyce to be set foorth both by mine owne, and other [Page] [...] [Page] [...] [Page] mens speeches. To conclude, I liued in all kinde of pleasure of this world, being banished farre and wide from the delightes of thy house: and if at any time the feare of death, and the last iudgement did quicken my slouth, and for a litle time call me frō the deepe gulfe of pleasure, by and by I returned as a dogge to his vomite. Being dead in them, I yet liue, and abiding in death, I hasten to death, and see death also swift by comming vnto me. But let thy mercy, O Lord,Psal. 78. quickly preuent me, before that terrible day of miserie and calamitie doe come, the greatPsal. 25. and bitter day, that though IZeph. 1. die, I may liue, and declare thy mercies aboue all thy workes, Looke backe, O Lord, and beholde howe my soule lieth in her concupiscences sicke of [Page] the palsie, and is euill vexed there with: deliuer it from the fast birdlime of death, that it may cleaue vnto thee alone, who onely art the true life, and leauing all others follow thee that art aboue all. Say vnto my soule, O Lord God of my saluation,Psal. 27. 54. Math. 15 be it vnto thee as thou desirest: make me to heare this thy voyce, a voyce of reioycing and saluation, that I may runne after it, and take hold of thee, and keepe thee fast, and not let thee goe, vntill thou sendest me whole away. For being sicke, to whom shall I goe but to thee, that I may be cured: or who can heale mine infirmitie, but he that for man & mankind came downe from heauen, that they might be healed of their griefs? who can1. Reg [...] quicken, but he that doth mortifie & quicken all things? who [Page] can saue but thou, O my God my Sauiour, in the time of tribulation? saue therefore and quicken me, thou that art the life and euerlasting saluation of al that put their trust in thee. And to thee that art without [...]. beginning, be glorie without end: to thee be praise and honour, to thee be cōtinual worship, thankesgiuing, thou that art the euerlasting spring of mercies: for I was gone farre from thee, and did runne away, and yet thou doest speedily come to him that is sicke and runne away, when he calleth vpon thee, & doest graunt him health, before thou hearest his sighes: for to be willing to be healed is ynough, that thou shouldest heale, and to be willing to liue, that thou shouldest graunt life, and in the blessing of thy sweetenes [Page] doest thou preuent the desirePsal. 20. of a sinner that doeth knowe himselfe. Therefore I will say vnto thee, O Lord, and it shall suffice vnto me, I knowe minePsal. 50. iniquitie, & what is it to know? but I will bee healed? and howe doe I know? because all my bones are vexed within me, and my soule is very muchPsal. 60. troubled for my sinnes. Behold nowe, I lay all mine iniquities before thy sight, O my God,Psal. 40. that thou mayest cure & heale my soule, because it hath sinned against thee. For as thouPsal. 5. art a God, that desirest not iniquitie: so wilt thou not the death of a sinner, but ratherEzec. 18. that hee should be conuerted, and liue. For the dead shall not prayse thee, O Lord, but weePsal. 105. that liue, doe blesse the Lord, and confesse vnto him: for he is good, and his mercie is [Page] euerlasting. Glory be to the Father, and to the Sonne, and to the holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning, &c.
PSALM. V.
I Haue reuealed my miseries vnto thee, O Lord, not to make knowen my wayes vnto thee, that diddest know them all from the beginning, and hast numbred all my steps: forIob 31. thou knowest the hidden places of darknesse, and all thingsPsal. 43. are naked and open to thine eyes, and thou doest not onely see, but also discerne the lurkingHebr. 4. places of our thoughtes, and the marrowe of our affections: but I vncouer that thou maiestcouer, and protect, I reueale that thou mayest hide, and knowe in me an humble and contrite spirite, and by thePsal. 50. offring of this sacrifice, which [Page] is most acceptable vnto thee: be mercifull vnto me, and forgiueLuke 18. my sinnes: I haue spoken many and great things, and yet haue saide little: for the worme of my conscience dothBarnard. pricke me in more, I would to God it might gnaw away the rottennesse, that by gnawing it might consume it, and withall be it selfe consumed: and that it begin not to be cherished in immortalitie, but let it bite, that it may die, and by little and little by biting leaue biting. But woe vnto me, for when I thinke I haue made an ende of telling my euils, then am I constrained to begin againe as it were, and my memorie being full of vncleannesse, doeth more abundantly remember much more filthinesse: for I haue sinned aboue the number of the sands of the [Page] sea: and if I had a hundred tongues, & a hundred mouths, I shall skarse answere one of a thousand thousand: yet that increaseth my griefe, that I can not remember all my filthines past, and the fleshly corruptions of my soule: for while I commit newe sinnes, I forget the olde, but those that I remember, I will not hide, not that I wil loue them any more, but that I may loue thee most earnestly, O my God: and that I remembring my most wicked wayes in the bitternesse of my remembrance, thou mayestS. Augu. be sweete vnto me, O sweetenesse that art not deceaueable, O amiable sweetenes, O happie and secure sweetenes, then enuie was familiar vnto me, and charitie was estranged frō me, I slandered Kings & Princes, and the Ministers of the [Page] Church, and did bite them with a lying murmuring, I did disgrace the desertes and praises of the iust, and allowed the doings of the wicked: if at any time there were a commendableFra. Petrarch. speeche concerning good men, I obiected false spots, and did discouer their secret infirmities, & for most light things did accuse them to others, as guiltie of a greater crime. Againe, if there were any infamie of the wicked, I did by and by set forwarde their slender vertues, and preferred them in desert before their betters, and so was cause of their greater ruine. If I sawe a thiefe, I didPsal. 44. runne with him, and to fulfill mine iniquitie, I raysed offence against my mothers sonne, & spared not to slander and deceiue my kinsefolke. I wished to my neighbours sorrow and [Page] ill happe, and in his death onely did I set my hope. I did not defend the cause of the innocent, & did vpbraide the guiltie as if I reioyced at their torments: I rashly iudged many guiltie of faultes, and seeing a litle moate in my brothers eie, I did not feele a great beameLuke 6. in my owneeie: I loued slouthfulnesse as my mother, & idlenesse was as my brother, and I did auoide all honest exercise and labour: I waxed heauie from day to day, and did not giue God thankes for his dayly benefites bestowed vpon me: and thou, O Lord knowest howe seldome I did by night meditate vpon thy lawe, and thy wonderfull workes: I often spent ye whole night without sleepe, and when my mind did wander from thee hither and thither to many things, [Page] thou diddest neuer meet with it. I went to bed without thee, I lay in my bed without thee, I rose from my bed without thee, without thee the day shined vpon me, & passed wholly away without thee, and therefore was I alway without thee, because I was alway with my selfe, who in my darke affections am farre from thee: yet if at any time thou camest into my minde, and that I did begin to consider thy marueilous workes, suddenly the burthen of the worlde (as in sleepe is vsuall) did sweetely presse me downe, and my thoughtes wherewith I did meditate on thee, were like the endeuours of those that would wake, and yet conquered with the depth of sleepinesse, are drowned againe. I often purposed to determine of the affaires of my [Page] conscience, but the present day doeth alway delude me with the expectation of that which is to come. I rested vnto a brittle and deceitfull foundation, and leaned vpon a broken reede, & when as trusting thereto, I thought I stood sure, I fell into the fire, and when IS. Augu. fell, I knewe howe weakely I had stood. I gaped with an vnquencheable thirst after honour and gaine, and in these desires I suffered most cruell difficulties. Euery disordered & vndisciplined man was my friend, and I defiled the veine of friendship with the filth of concupiscence, and obscured the whitenesse thereof with hellish lust. Tragicall spectacles full of the showes of my miseries, and the foode of my fire did drawe me: and I did not only not shut the passages [Page] against death, but opened alsoS. Barnar. the windowes vnto it, and all my members were seuerall windowes through the which death entred into my soule. And so newe filthinesse growing on, I haue not purged the olde: nay rather from thence did spring in me many sinnes, for which I am cast out from before thy face, O my God, & being depriued of the comfort of thy presence, I fall almost into desperation, knowing not whither I goe: but departing from thee, whither shall I goe? and who wil looke vpon my face, if thou turne thine away from me? and as a reprobate depriue me of thy sight? I shall vndoubtedly become hatefull vnto all men, and as a wanderer and runnagate in the land, I shalbe made a shame & skorne vnto them, [Page] when they shall aske of me, where is thy God? and whereforePsal. 73. hath he put thee frō him? what shall I doe therefore, O wretched man that I am, whē I see my selfe estranged from thy protection, and forsaken in the middest of mine enemies that fight mightely against me? I wil seeke thy face, O Lorde, and with sighes beseech thy countenance not to leaue me, nor in anger to depart from thy seruant: for all mine enemies followe me as a fugitiue, that they may take & kill me, and therefore I must seeke refuge at thy hands, to whom I doe flie, O my God, my strength, my refuge, and my vertue, in the day of my tribulation: for as there is noEsai. 45. God beside thee, so also there is no Sauiour besides thee. Thou therefore, O Lord, that [Page] knowest all my miseries, andPsal. 102 from whom the worke of my weakenesse is not hidden: cast behind thy backe all mine offences,Psal. 7 [...]. and doe not remember my old iniquities, but saue mePsal. 50. according to thy mercie, from all those that persecute me, and deliuer me, because there is none that can redeeme nor saue, but thou, O Lord, who sauest all that trust in thee, andPsal. 71. deliuerest the poore from the mightie, and from the handes of them that are stronger then he: hide not therefore thy face from me, O Lord, neither despise me, my sauing God, my strength, and my deliuerer: forPsal. 85. Psal. 10. I am poore and very needie, and thine eyes looke vpon the poore, and if thy iustice seeke me, hide me in the bosome of thy mercie, wherein thou hast with long suffering borne me, [Page] and inuited me to repentance: for thou art long suffering, patient,Psal. 102. and very mercifull, and excellent aboue al wickednes:Ioel 2. yea nothing is more proper vnto thee, then to spare and haue mercie alwayes: and therefore thou hast mercie on all, because thou canst doe all, and dissemblest the sinnes of men for repentance, and thouSapi. 11. sparest all, because they are thine, O Lorde, who louest soules. Turne therefore vnto me, who am turned vnto thee, & deliuer mine afflicted soule frō all danger, that my mouth may be filled with thy prayse, and say vnto thee: Blessed bePsal. 123. the Lord who hath not suffered me to be deliuered vnto the teeth of mine aduersaries: Except the Lorde had beene my helper, they had perhaps swallowed mee quicke: my [Page] soule as a sparrowe was deliuered from the snare of the fowlers, the snare is broken, and I am deliuered. Glory be to the Father, and to the Sonne, and to the holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning, &c.
PSALM. VI.
O Wretched man that I am, what shall I doe? for the great wilde beast hath deuoured my soule, and I haue bene made a praye to the enemie, he hath spoiled me of all those goods wherewith thou, O Lord, hadst beautified me, and I am afraide to appeare naked before thee: I departed rich and beautifull from thyEsai. 37. Ierem. 11 Osee. 5. face, and went wandring after filthinesse in a corrupt way, and in the wickednesse of my heart: and my soule is made blacke vpon the coales, and [Page] the excellent colour thereof isThren. 4. changed, and I that was nourished with spices, haue imbraced dung, and I haue so impouerished and deformed my selfe by wearing the vile garments of sinners, according to the likenesse of Adams offence, as thou, O Lord doest not nowe knowe me, according to the image wherein thou hast created me: and wilt not suffer mee as a scabbed sheepe, to dwell among the sheepe of thy pasture. Howe then shal I presume to returne vnto the presence of thine infinite Maiestie, (in whose sightIob 15. the Heauens are not cleane) being emptie, vile and vncleane? or howe shall I presume to communicate with thy chosen people, being made foolish by offending. I would hauereturned vnto thee [Page] though ashamed and afraide, trusting to thy mercie: for thou art a sweete father to thy sonne that is trauailing into a farre countrey; but much sweeter vnto him when he returneth from a long pilgrimage: But, O my God, I lacke the power to come vnto thee: for I am kept fast bound by a most cruell robber, not with strong iron, but with the iron of mine owne will, whereof the enemie hath made a chaine for me, and bringeth my heart in hard workes and all wickedExod. 1. slauerie to bitternesse. My refugePsal. 118 is farre from me: for saluation is farre from sinners, and I am compelled to die in most miserable bondage, vnlesse thou, O Lord, looking downe from Heauen, doest helpe me: I sticke fast in the slimie claie of the deepe, and a [Page] tempest of temptations, euen like the waves of the cruel sea, hath ouer whelmed and crowned me so that I am in despaire of auoiding these imminent dangers, vnlesse thou, O God, shalt take me vp: for the more I endeuour to arise, the more am I bruised: I am both within and without troublesome vnto my selfe, & euery where I finde domesticall enemies, that doe beate me downe: I looke on the right hand and the left, and I see none to whom I may safely commit my selfe: but euery where feare doeth shake me, and to whom so euer I come, I finde not a faithfull friend, & how should I finde any, that my selfe doe not keepe my faith giuen to my God? I haue sought any to comfort me in my afflictions and calamities, and there [Page] was none of all my deareThren. 1. friendes that woulde comfort me: but I met with men that were too full of wordes, nay dumbe rather, and therefore dumbe, because thy word, O my God, did not sound from their lips, but the offence ofPsal. 58. their mouth, the wordes of their owne lips, who did condemne my wantes without compassion, and triumphing ouer me, did hardly and fiercely prouoke strife against me. I haue often consented vntoProu. 18. foolish deceiuers, and swaruing from the right pathe, I ignorantly agreed to their opinion, and by little and little was by them brought to such toyes and madnes, as (though by the helpe of thy grace, I neuer departed from the true religion) yet I did beleeue many fables: yet am I an vnexcusable [Page] man, for that (when I did knowe thee to be alwayes a God in trueth, I did not worshipRom. 1. thee in spirit and trueth:) but changed thy trueth into lyes, and serued the creatures rather then the Creatour, and sought my selfe and my pleasures in corruptible things: but thou, O Lord, my sweetenesse, and my trust, proceede on, and as thou hast made me by true faith to acknowledge thee, waken mee vp that sleepe inPsal. 12. sinne, and open mine eyes, that I neuer sleepe vnto death: Lighten, kindle & lift them vpPsal. 83. vnto thee, yt in thy light they may behold thee, the euerlasting light, the vnquencheable light, that neuer faileth, theEccle. 24. sweete and delightfull light, that they may see and reioyceSapi. 4. and couet thy light, and knowEccle. 11. Psal. 68. that nothing is to be loued beside [Page] thee, but in and for thee.Iohn 1. Thou, O Lord, which art the true light, that doest illuminate all men comming into this world: cause this light to rise in my darkenes, and make me to desire thy iustification, that my soule being melted away by the force of loue, may faint into thy sauing health,Psal. 188. and thirste after thy delightes: my soule, I say, but let me call it thine, because thou diddest make it, and giue it vnto me, and mine, because I receiued it from thee: keepe therefore thy creature, which thou hast specially framed according to thine owne image, and suffer not thy precious gifte to perish, wherein thou hast lifted me vp aboue all the workes of thine owne hands: vpon my body and members, worke whatsoeuer pleaseth thee, let [Page] my flesh be clothed with rottennesse,Iob 33. and consumed with wormes: But I beseech thee, O Lord, onely spare my soule, and stretch not out thy hand against it, bring me backe againe into thy wayes, before the going downe of ye Sunne: for it groweth towarde Euening, and compell me to come vnto thee, if to call be too little, constraine me as it pleaseth thee: so I may come and not perish, not for my selfe, who hauing so often abused thy mercie, haue made my selfe vnworthy thereof: but for thy holy Name, take from me a stonie heart, and giue vntoExec. 36. me a fleshy heart, and place thy Spirite in the middest of me, that I may walke in thy precepts, & keepe thy iudgements: I come too late vnto thee, O Lorde, I confesse, I [Page] would to God I had come sooner: but I knowe and am assured, that thou prescribest no time to them that come, so they come, and receiuest the last as gently as the first: for that although thou hatestSapi. 1. sinne, thou hatest not the sinner, neither doest thou reioyce in his destruction: and therefore, though hee tarrie very long, thou doest patiently looke for him: O how sweete and pleasant is that thy saying, O Lord? wherein thou hast giuen hope vnto myPsal. 118. Hiere. 3. soule? Thou hast played the harlot with many louers, yet returne thou vnto me, & I wil receiue thee. How delightfull and pleasant is that worde, wherewith thou comfortest sinners that are in despaire of themselues? If a sinner repentEzec. 18. him from all his sinnes, he [Page] shall liue and not die: for is the death of a sinner according to my will? With great ioy I heare thee when thou sayest, that the sheepe thatLuke 15. had gone astray, shall be brought home with ioy vpon the shepheards shoulders, andS. Augu. that the groate shall be layed vp in thy treasures, neighbours reioycing with the woman that found it: and the ioy of the solemnitie of that house doeth force teares from me, when I did reade of the yonger sonne, that he was dead, and liued againe. ThereforePsal. 67. giue, O Lord, vnto my soule, the voyce of thy vertue, and not of thy vertue alone, which shaketh off the slouthe of soules, but also the beame of thy light, which doeth both shewe vnto men their sinnes, and giueth light also to the [Page] hidden places of darkenesse.Cant. 2. Let thy voyce sounde in the eares of mine heart, and say vnto my sleeping soule, why art thou so long oppressed with a deadly sleepe, and kept captiue in bandes? It is noweRom. 13. Esai 55. Cant. 6. time to rise from sleepe, and that thou forsake thy waye, and returne to me that haue redeemed thee: returne, OEsai. 44. thou Sunamite, returne that we may behold thee: returne, and deferre no longer to come vnto me, for I am the Lorde thy God that call thee, I am, I am he, that blot out thine iniquitiesEsai. 43. for my selfe, neither carie in remembrance things past: then will I say boldly to my soule, turne thee to thyPsal. 144 rest, for the Lorde hath done well vnto thee: goe safely vnto him, and though thou art wearied by thy wicked wayes, [Page] goe the swifter, that thou maiest the sooner take rest: be not made afraid for thy sinnes, for if they be as redde as scarlet,Esai 1. & 44. they shalbe made as white as snow, as a cloude they shall be put away, and feare not to be accused of boldnes, where thou art praysed for obediēce. Goe and make haste my soule vnto him, that came not to call the righteous, but sinners, andMatth. 8. if thou art a sinner, thy God is the God of sinners. Wherefore then doest thou feare to goe, thou that art not called by a cruell iudge, but by the father of mercies, that thou mayest obtaine mercie: therefore goe now willing being called to mercie, that thou be not compelled hereafter to goe vnto iudgement. In thee, O Lorde, my noble Father doe I trust, and will not be ashamed [Page] to confesse vnto thee my deformities,S. August and blasphemies, who was not ashamed to professe them before men, and to barke against thee. Let theMarke 2. Pharise murmure & say, who can forgiue sinnes but God alone? for it is God that speaketh vnto me, whose worde is liuely and effectuall, he thatPsal. 76. calleth me is milde and pitiful, and is not wonted to containe his mercies in his wrath: And therefore vpon thy words will I assuredly come vnto thee, O my God, my trust, and my portion in the land of the liuing. I wil come and fall downe before thee, and not feare thy Maiestie, because thou callest me, and that I offende not thine eyes when I shall appeare vncleane in thy sight. I will wash away my filthinesse with continuall teares, and [Page] mine eye lidde shall not rest from weeping, but my bed shall be priuie vnto my sorrowe, wherein I please thee, though I displease my selfe: and being by thee conuerted vnto thee, I repent me of those things I haue committed, that I may praise thee with a cleanePsal. 88. heart, saying, O Lord, who is like vnto thee? for then is thyEccl. 15. Psal. 125. praise bountifull in the mouth of a sinner, and hee that hath sowed in teares, shall reape in gladnesse. Glory be to the Father, and to the Sonne, and to the holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning, &c.
PSALM. VII.
HAue mercie vpon me, O Lord, for I am in trouble, and vexed with vnspeakeable miseries: for floods of iniquitie doe vexe me, & the watersPsal. 58. [Page] haue entred euē into my soule as a riuer that is ouerflowen, so my sinnes which I haue hitherunto dissembled, and neglected to confesse, or amend, are growen so high that they haue passed ouer my head, andPsal. 37. bowed my minde and will, to the concupiscence of sensuall desires: yea, made me subiect to the slauerie of the deuil. Wo vnto me, for I am altogether mortally wounded, & there is no health in me from the sole of the foote, to the crowne of my head: for mine enemie hath supplanted me, and as a most cruell tyrant tormenting me, hath depriued me of all my senses, leauing onely my vnderstanding, that by ioyning the knowledge of my hurt and losse, he might also increase my sorow. He should litle hurt, if he had depriued [Page] me altogether of all vse of my senses, and had made me vtterly senselesse in all my actions, but he hath depriued me thereof for doing that which is good, and hath violently inforced me to euill: and hath so infected my minde, which is altogether bent to outward things, with a certaine astonishment of inward senselesnesse, that she cannot feele her1. Tim. 4. inward hurtes: for when I should haue heard, I was deafe, and turned mine eare from the trueth: but when it had beene fitte for mee to stoppe mine eares, from hearing vnprofitable things, and the toyes of many men, I was swift to heare, and a gentle hearer. Heauenly things I tasted vnsauerly, & my soule lothed all spirituall meate, but I iudged earthly things sweeter then [Page] the honie & the honie combe.Psal. 100. I was blinde, and an earthly man in beholding those things that were Gods: but worldly things I looked vpon with a proude eye, and desired them with an vnsatiable heart: Neither in my senses alone, but in my members also which God gaue to me for the seruice of my soule, did mine auncient enemie shut vp from me the way of saluation: and prepared such ambushes against me in this cruell siege, as I was neuer able to auoide them: but so often as I tried to flie away, I fell into his hands. For I did offend both by seeing, and refusing to see, by hearing, and by being deafe, speaking, and holding my peace, standing, and sitting, sleeping, and waking, walking, and resting: to conclude, I changed [Page] all the peculiar and common vse of my senses and members into a filthie abuse, burning in my vncleane desires, so that I haue transgressed all the lawes, both of God, man, and nature, and haue liued diligent in obseruing onely the law of sinne. I would to God I onely had beene so, and nowe were not: but alas, because I am yet the same that before I was, and nothing changed from that, I followed the worst: for my sicke will doeth yet beare rule, and my most foule & stinking soule, that is filled euery where with horrible soares, that proceede only from it selfe, doeth still perseuere in the old euils. I am often angry with my self, because I am wearie to liue, when I am not weary to sinne: I know my folly, and am confounded, & being cōfounded, [Page] reproue my self saying, O carnall louer, why doest thou so long wallowe in the mire of thy concupisence? why art thou so carefully busie for earthly things? and doest so earnestly desire those goods which shall perish? or with what reasō callest thou goods, those things thou gainest with so much labour, and the great hurt of thy soule, and being gained, possessest in feare, and being possessed, leesest with griefe? O my soule, why doest thou forget thine owne proper estate, and nobilitie, and art not ashamed to endure a miserable and shamefull bondage, vnder the corruption of thy corporall senses? why art thou deceiued with the vnfaithfull promises of ye world? & markest not that the chiefe good thereof, is a vapour that [Page] appeareth but a little season, and a vanitie of vanities? Blush, and be ashamed, O miserable sinner, howe often hast thou departed from thy Creatour, and turned to deceitfull creatures? and comming againe to thy selfe, beholde with any sight of thy minde, how cruelly in respectS. Bernar. of a miserable hūting thy soule hath bowelled her selfe, whilest with an immoderate desire, catching at a vile praye of flies, shee hath like the spider made nets for her selfe of her owne bowels. Againe andRom. 6. againe I say, Blush at that wherein thou hast had no fruite, and lament thy lost time, that blushing, may bringProu. 23. thee fruite: Yeelde thy heart vnto God, and thou shalt pay that thou owest. With these speeches I rage against my [Page] selfe, when being inwardly admonished, I enter into my selfe, and consider with my heart what I haue lost, and what I haue found: but I doeRom. 7. not that good which I like, but the euill that I will, that I doe: for mine enemie holdeth my will, and doeth keepe me being fashioned according to the former desires of mine ignorance captiue vnder the lawRom. 8. of sinne: But thou, O Lorde God of vertues, the tower of my strength, and the ruler of my life, doe not withdrawe thy helpe from me, looke vnto my defence, and protect mePsal. 25 vnder the shadowe of thy wings, least I fall in the sight of mine aduersaries, and mine enemie reioycing against me say, I haue preuailed against him: Breake the bands of my reproch, vnder which I haue [Page] beene made crooked, and lose ye cordes of my sinnes, wherewith I am strongly bounde, O most mightie Lorde, and make knowen thy power vnto mine enemies, that I may offer vnto thee a sacrifice of gladnesse, saying: Who shallPsal. 105 speake the power of the Lord, or who shall declare all his prayses? that deliuered my soule from death, my feete from sliding? who hath saued me from the lyons mouth, and my lowlinesse from the hornes of Vnicornes. To whō shouldPsal. 21. I crie, but to thee, vpon whom all our fathers haue called, and haue beene saued? to thee, I say, who neuer deceiuest them that hope in thee, set me therefore neere thee, and let any mans hand sight against me: for I will feare no euill, because thou art with me. All my desires [Page] are before thee, blot out and put away whatsoeuer is strange from thee: renue, create and confirme whatsoeuer thou hast giuen me, that casting away all carnall and vnprofitable desires, the sinner may bee praysed, in the desirePsal. 9. of his heart, and coueting to enioy thee the onelyPsal. 118. true pleasure, my request may come before thy face, and I may cōfidently say vnto thee:Psal. 20. graunt vnto him, O my God, the desire of my soule: for I knowe and am assured, thatIob 6. no man can desire thee but by thy selfe, nor come vnto thee, vnlesse thou draw him: Drawe me therefore, O Lorde, and graunt vnto me, that I may begin in a good desire, that I may ende and perfite it in a good worke, before my olde custome oppresse my newe [Page] desire, & my former will strenthened by age, conquer my newe will: least when right things please me, I returne to my old wont. Clothe me with the precious garments of thy saluation and thy beautie, and put off frō me the vile clothes of my widdowhead, whereinEphes. 4. being depriued of thee, I walke according to the ancient conuersatiō of the old man: & doe not any more remember the shame of my widdowhead, that being newely clothed inEsai. 54. thee, & become a newe man, I may with a newe spirit serue thee in newnes of life, and in the sweete smell of thine ointmēts running vnto thee, I mayAbac. 1. reioyce in Iesu my Sauiour. Glory be to the Father, and to the Sonne, and to the holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning, &c.
¶ A thankesgiuing of a contrite Sinner, obteyning pardon from God of his sinnes.
I Render vnto thee infinite thankes, O most gracious and mercifull God, for that remembring my so many sinnes, I feare not for them, nor am ashamed to confesse mine iniquities against thee, to thee: that I may confesse vnto thy Name, thy mercie towards me. For thou hast had mercie vpon earth and ashes, and it hath pleased thee to reforme in thy sight, all my deformities, and to keepe me from many waters, least the deapth shoulde swallowe me vp. I was going the right way [Page] [...] [Page] [...] [Page] vnto hell, carying all my sinnes that I had comitted with me, vnlesse thou, O Lord my God, and my guider, diddest bring me, that was going downe headlong, backe vnto thee, who art the way, the trueth, and the life: and diddest inlightenIohn 14. my cloudie mind, with the brightnesse of thy light, that seeing my selfe in the land of forgetfulnes, and the countrie of vnlikelinesse, I might cal vnto thee out of the deepes of my ignorance, and knowe that thou art God my Sauiour and deliuerer, that hast drawen me frō my most wicked waies, and put goades vnto me, that I might therewith be pulled away. What shall I therefore render vnto thee, my beautie, my sweetenesse, my part, God for euermore, for the marueilous wayes that thou hast vsed, [Page] to correct and direct my waies into the way of saluation? I was caried away into vanities, forgetting thee, O my God, and made my waies farre from thee, when thou moued with mercie ouer me, diddest call backe my filthie life, from the durt of earthly pleasure, and diddest restraine my vntamedPsal. 31. minde, with the bit and bridle of calamities and labours, that I might come neere vnto thee.2. Cor. 1. I wil therefore willingly glory in mine afflictions and infirmities, that thy grace may dwell in me, to whom I am a debter, for that thou hast forgiuen me so many euils, and hast dissolued my sinnes like ise. And for my sorowes, as for thy giftes & benefites (whereby my soule hath beene saued) yeelding thankes vnto thee, IOsee 14. Psal. 102. will offer vp the calues of my [Page] lips, saying: Blesse the Lord, OPsal. 102. my soule, and doe not forget all his benefites, which is mercifull vnto all thine iniquities, and healeth all thine infirmities, who hath redeemed thy life from death, and crowneth thee in pitie and mercie, and filleth in good things thy desire. Beholde howe the comforts of thy mercies, wherein thou hast lightened me, O my God, haue taken me, that I might imbrace thee, aboue all seducements that I followed: therefore I pray thee, my glorie, the height of my humilitie, and rest of my labour, doe not faint in helping me, that I also may not faint, in confessing vnto thee thy mercies. But graciously accept the sacrifice of my confessions, from the hand of my mouth, and graunt vnto me the spirite of feare, [Page] that my soule conceauing frō thy promises, may henceforth be cherished with heauenly things, and bring foorth the spirite of saluation. Protect me vnder ye shadow of thy hands,Esai 49. Prou. 5. and cherish me in the bosome of thy mercies, least they that passe in the way, treade vpon the vnfeathered fowle: ButS. Augu. send thine angel, that may put him againe into the nest, that he may liue vntill he may flie, and continually cleaue vnto thee, with daily praiers knocke vnto thee, possesse thee in himselfe, that thou mayest be vnto him all in all. As the young swallowes or doues, mourningEsai. 38. doe call for meate vnto their mother: so I, mourning & weeping in this valley of teares, do crie vnto thee, my God, & my helper in time of neede, that thou deliuer me from al temptation, [Page] euen to the ende, and nourish me yet as a sucking childe, that hauing receiued the strength of thy vertue, asPhil. 3. long as I shall runne in the course of this worlde, forgetting that which is behind, & earnestly bending my selfe to that which is before, with thy company & protection, I may goe on to the appointed place, to the reward of the heauenly vocation, in Christ Iesus our Lord, who liueth & raigneth with thee, in the vnitie of the holy spirit, God world without end. Amen.
EPITAPHIVM D. ANTONII Lusitaniae Regis Serenissimi.
[...].
EIVSDEM REGIS LVSITAN. PROSOPOPEIA.
Faults escaped.
Page 1. line 15. haue, reade not haue.
P. 5. l. 8. knowe, reade knewe.
P. 8. l. 24. selfe, reade life.
P. 12. l. 17. in sinnes, reade in my sinnes.
P. 13. l. 1. a foole, reade as a foole.
P. 13. l. 11. haling, reade hating. and l.
14. wilfulnes, reade wilfulnes to sinne.
P. 13. l. 22. brought, reade bought.
P. 19. l. 14. girfes, reade giftes. and l. 19.
I fained, reade vnrecouerably I fained.
P. 25. l. 9. reade nation, I am thy saluation.
P. 41. l. 12. strong, reade strange.
P. 52. l. 12. bountifull, reade beautifull.
P. 56. l. 7. liued, reade beene.