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NORTH-VVARD HOE.
Sùndry times Acted by the Children of Paules.
By Thomas Decker, and Iohn Webster.
Imprinted at London by G. ELD. 1607.
ARt sure old Maybery Innes here to night,
Tis certaine the honest knaue Chamberleine that hath bin my Informer, my baud, euer since I knew Ware assures me of it, and more being a Londoner though altogether vnacquainted, I haue requested his company at supper.
Excellent occasion: how wee shall carry our selues in this busines is onely to be thought vpon.
Be that my vndertaking: if I do not take a full reuenge of his wiues puritanicall
Suppose it she should be chast,
O hang her: this art of seeming honest makes many of our young sonnes and heires in the Citty, looke so like our prentises,—Chamberlaine.
Heare Sir.
This honest knaue is call'd Innocence, ist not a good name for a Chamberlaine? he dwe't at Dunstable not long since, and hath brought me and the two Butchers Daughters there to interuiew twenty times & not so little I protest: how chance you left dunstable Sirra?
Faith Sir the towne droopt euer since the peace in Ireland, your captaines were wont to take their leaues of their London Polecats, (their wenches I meane Sir) at Dunstable: the next morning when they had broke their fast togeather the wenches brought them to London the other for Westchester, your onely rode now Sir is Yorke York
Sir.
True, but yet it comes scant of the Prophesy; Lincolne was, London is, and Yorke shall-be.
Yes Sir, tis fullfild, Yorke shalbe, that is, it shalbe Yorke still, surely it was the meaning of the prophet: will you haue some Cray-fish, and a Spitchcocke.
And a fat Trout.
You shall Sir; the Londoners you wot of:
Most kindly welcome—I beseech you hold our bould
Sir it is the health of Trauailers, to inioy good company: will you wa
Whether Trauaile you I beseech you.
To London Sir we came from Sturbridge.
I
Faith Sir we purposed a dangerous voiage, but vpo
May we without offence pertake the ground of it.
Tis altogither triuial in-sooth: but to passe away the time till supper, Ile deliuer it to you, with protestation before hand, I seeke not to publish euery ge
Forth Sir.
Frequenting the company of many marchants wiues in the Citty, my heart by chance leapt into mine eye to affect the fairest but with al the falsest creature that euer affectio
Of what ranck was she I beseech you.
Vpon your promise of secresie.
You shall close it vp like treasure of your owne, and your selfe shall keepe the key of it,
She was and by report still is wife to a most graue and well reputed Cittizen.
And entertaind your loue.
As Meddowes do Aprill: the violence as it seemed of her affection—but alas it proued her dissembling, would at my comming and departing be-dew her eyes with loue dropps; O she could the art of woman most feelingly.
Most feelingly.
I should not haue lik'd that feelingly had she beene my wife, giue vs some sack heare and in faith— we are all friends; & in priuate— what was her husbands name
O you shall pardon mee his name, it seemes you are a Cittizen, it would bee discourse inough for you vpon the ex
Your modesty in this wiues commendation; on sir.
In the passage of our loues, (amongst other fauours of greater valew) she bestowed vpon me this
The poesie, the poesie—O my heart, that ring good infaith:
Not many nights comming to her and being familiar with her.
Kissing and so forth.
I Sir.
And talking to her feelingly.
Pox on't, I lay with her.
Good infaith you are of a good complexion.
Lying with her as I say: and rising some-what early fro
In my wiues bed.
How do you Sir.
Nothing: lettes haue a fire chamberlaine; I thinke my bootes haue taken water I haue such a shudering: ith' bed you say;
Right Sir, in Mistris Maiberies sheetes.
Was her name Maybery.
Beshrew my tongue for blabbing, I presume vpon your secresy.
O God Sir, but where did you find your loosing;
Where I found her falsnesse: with this Gentleman; who by his owne confession pertaking the like inioyment; found this ring the same morning on her pillowe, and sham'd not in my sight to weare it.
What did shee talke feelingly to him too; I warMaibery.
No more then by name.
Hee's a wondrous honest man; lets be merry; will not your mistrisse?-gentlemen, you are tenants in common I take it.
Yes.
Will not your Mistresse make much of her husband when he comes home
Yes she hath reason for't, for in some countries, where men and women haue good trauailing stomackes, they begin with porredge; then they fall to Capon or so-forth: but if CaEngland.
This wit taking of long iourneys: kindred that comes in ore the hatch, and sailing to Westminster makes a number of Cuckolds.
Fie what an idle quarrell is this, was this her ring?
Her ring Sir.
A pretty idle toy, would you would take mony for't,
Mony sir.
The more I looke on't, the more I like it.
Troth 'tis of no great valew, and considering the losse, and finding of this ring made breach into your friendship, Gen
What my Mistris gift?
Faith you are a merry old Gentleman; Ile giue you my part in't.
Troth and mine, with your promise to conceale it from her husband.
Doth he know of it yet?
No Sir.
He shall neuer then I protest
I am glad we haue fitted you.
This walking is wholesome, I was a cold euen now, now I sweat for't.
Shalls walke into the Garden Luke. Gentlemen weele downe and hasten supper.
Looke you, we must be better acquainted that's all.
Most willingly; Excellent, hee's heat to the proofe, lets with-draw, and giue him leaue to raue a little.
Chamberlaine, giue vs a cleane Towell.
How now man?
I am foolish old Maybery, and yet I can be wise Maybery too; Ile to London presently, begon Sir.
How, how?
Nay, nay, Gods pretious you doe mistake mee Maister Bellamont; I am not distempered, for to know a mans wife is a whore, is to be resolu'd of it, and to be resolued of it, is to make no question of it, and when a case is out of question; what was I saying?
Why looke you, what a distraction are you falne into?
If a man be deuorst, doe you see, deuorst forma Iuris, whether may he haue an action or no, gainst those that make hornes at him?
O madnesse! that the frailty of a woman should make a wise man thus idle! yet I protest to my vnderstanding, this re
Then am I a foole, yet I can bee wise and I list too: what sayes my wedding ring?
Indeed that breeds some suspition: for the rest most grose and open, for two men, both to loue your wife, both to in
Faith now I remember, I haue seene them walke muf
Like enough; pray God they doe not borrow mony of Ware and London: come striue to blow ouer these
Not a clowd, you shall haue cleane Moone-shine, they haue good smooth lookes the fellowes.
As Iet, they will take vp I warrant you, where they may bee trusted; will you be merry?
Wonderous merry; lets haue some Sack to drowne this Cuckold, downe with him: wonderous merry: one word & no more; I am but a foolish tradesman, and yet Ile be a wise tradesman.
Arrest me? at whose sute? Tom Chartley, Dick Leuer-poole, stay, Ime arrested.
Arrested?
Gentlemen breake not the head of the peace; its to no purpose, for hee's in the lawes clutches, you see hee's fangd.
Vds life, doe you stand with your naked weapons in your hand, and doe nothing with em? put one of em into my fingers, Ile tickle the pimple-nosed varlets.
Hold Doll, thrust not a weapon vpon a mad woman, Officers step back into the Tauerne, you might ha tane mee ith streete, and not ith' Tauerne entrie, you Cannibals.
Wee did it for your credit Sir.
How much is the debt? Drawer, some wine.
Foure score pound: can you send for Baile Sir? or what will you doe? wee cannot stay.
You cannot, you pasty-footed Rascalls, you will stay one day in hell.
Foure score pounds drawes deepe; farewell Doll, come Serieants, Ile step to mine Vncle not farre off, here-by in PudChartly you shall finde me playing at Span-counter, and so farewell. Send mee some Tobacco.
Haue an eye to his hands.
Haue an eye to his legges.
Ime as melancholy now?
Villanous spitefull luck, Ile hold my life some of these sawsie Drawers betrayd him.
Wee sir! no by Gad Sir, wee scorne to haue a Iudas in our company.
No, no, hee was dogd in, this is the end of all dyeing.
This is the end of all whores, to fall into the hands of knaues. Drawer, tye my shoe pry thee: the new knot as thou seest this: Philip is a good honest Gentleman, I loue him be
Yes forsooth: by my troth you haue a dainty legge.
How now good-man rogue.
Nay sweete Mistresse Doll.
Doll! you reprobate! out you Bawd for seauen yeares by the custome of the Citty.
Good Mistris Dorothy; the pox take mee, if I toucht your legge but to a good intent.
Prate you: the rotten toothd rascall, will for sixe pence fetch any whore to his maisters customers: and is euery one that swims in a Taffatie gowne Lettis for your lippes? vds life, this is rare, that Gentlewomen and Drawers, must suck at one Spiggot: Doe you laugh you vnseasonable puck-fist? doe you grin?
Away Drawer: hold pry thee good rogue, holde my sweete Doll, a pox a this swaggering.
Pox a your gutts, your kidneys; mew: hang yee, rooke: I'me as melancholy now as Fleet-streete in a long vacation.
Melancholy? come weele ha some muld Sack.
When begins the te
Why? hast any suites to be tryed at Westminster?
My Sutes you base ruffian haue beene tryed at WestFlemmings pay soundly for what they take.
If thou't haue a lodging West-ward Doll, Ile fitte thee.
At Tyburne will you not? a lodging of your proui
And gallon pots must be tumbled downe.
Stay: I haue had a plot a breeding in my braines— Are all the Q
Yes, long since: what then?
What then? mary then is the wind come about, and for those poore wenches that before Christmasse fled West-ward with bag and baggage, come now sailing alongst the lee shore with a No
BDoll, whats the plot thou spakst off?
Mary this: Gentlemen, and Tobacco-stinckers, and such like are still buzzing where sweete meates are (like Flyes) but they make any flesh stinke that they blow vpon: I will leaue those fellowes therefore in the hands of their Landresses: Sil
Very good.
I will therefore take a faire house in the Citty: no matIack Hornet shall take vppon him to bee my Father.
Excellent, with a chaine about his neck and so forth.
For that, Saint Martins and wee will talke: I know vve shall haue Gudgions bite presently: if they doe boyes, you shall liue like Knights feIack Hornet incontinently.
Wee will; come Charely, vveele playe our partes I warrant.
Where is your Mistris, villaine? when went she abroad?
Abroad Sir, why assoone as she was vp Sir.
Vp Sir, downe Sir, so sir: Maister Bellamont, I will tell you a strange secret in Nature, this boy is my wiues bawd.
O fie sir, fie, the boy he doe's not looke like a Bawde, he has no double chin.
No sir, nor my breath does not stinke, I smell not of Garlick or Aqua-vitae: I vse not to bee drunke with Sack and Sugar: I sweare not God dam me, if I know vvhere the party is, when 'tis a lye and I doe know: I was neuer Carted (but in harEnglishman, then to a Welshman, then to a Dutchman, then to a pocFrenchman, I hope Sir I am no Bawd then.
Thou art a Baboune, and holdst me with trickes, vvhilst my Wife grafts grafts, away, trudge, run
Well Sir, the land Ile ferret, and after that Ile search her by water, for it may be shees gone to Brainford.
Inquire at one of mine Aunts.
One of your Aunts are you mad?
Yea, as many of the twelue companies are, troubled, troubled.
Ile chide you: goe too, Ile chide you soundly.
Oh maister Bellamont!
Oh Maister Maybery! before your Seruant to daunce a Lancashire Horne-pipe: it shewes worse to mee, then dancing does to a deafe man that sees not the fiddles: Sfoot you talke like a Player.
If a Player talke like a mad-man, or a foole, or an Asse, and knowes not vvhat hee talkes, then Ime one: you are a Poet Maister Bellamont, I vvill bestow a piece of Plate vpon you to bring my wife vpon the Stage, wud not her humor please Gentlemen.
I thinke it would: yours wud make Gentlemen as fatt as fooles: I wud giue two peeces of Plate, to haue you stand by me, when I were to write a iealous mans part: Iealous men are eyther knaues or Coxcombes, bee you neither: you weare yel
With-out cause, when my Mare beares double: with
And without wit.
When two Virginall Iacks skip vp, as the key of my instrument goes downe!
They are two wicked elders.
When my wiues ring does smoake for't.
Your wiues ring may deceiue you.
O MaBellamont! had it not beene my wife had made me a Cuckold, it should neuer haue greeued mee.
You wrong her vpon my soule.
No, she wrongs me vpon her body.
Now blew-bottle? what fl
Not to catch fish Sir, my young Maister, your sonne maiPhilip is taken prisoner.
By the Dunkirks.
Worse: by Catch-polls: hee's encountred.
Shall I neuer see that prodigall come home.
Yes Sir, if youle fetch him out, you may kill a Calfe for him.
For how much lyes he?
The debt is foure score pound, marry he chargde mee to tell you it was foure
His childs part shal now be paid, this mony shalbe his last, & this vexation the last of mine: if you had such a sonne maiMaiberie.
To such a wife, twere an excellent couple.
Release him, and release me of much sorrow, I will buy a Sonne no more: goe redeeme him.
Here's the party Sir.
Hence, and lock fast the dores, now is my prize.
If she beate you not at your owne weapon, wud her Buckler were cleft in two peeces.
I will not haue you handle her too roughly.
No, I will like a Iustice of peace, grow to the point: are not you a whore: neuer start: thou art a Cloth-worker, and hast
How Sir, into what Sir, haue I turn'd you?
Into a Ciuill Suite: into a sober beast: a Land-rat, a Cuckold: thou art a common bedfellow, art not? art not?
Sir this Language, to me is strange, I vnderstand it not.
O! you studie the french now.
Good Sir, lend me patience.
I made a fallade of that herbe: doest see these flesh-hookes, I could teare out those false eyes, those Cats eyes, that can see in the night: punck I could.
Heare her answer for her selfe.
Know'st thou this ring? there has bin old running at the ring since I went.
I know not what you meane.
They lay with the: I meane plaine dealing.
And then the breach was made.
Nay, nay, heare all.
Guiltlesse vpon my soule.
Oh we shall haue murder—you kill my heart.
From the house of praier and fasting—the Counter.
Art not, thou asham'd to bee seene come out of a pri
No Gods my Iudge, but I was asham'd to goe into prison.
I am told sir, that you spend your credit and your coine vpon a light woman.
I ha seene light gold sir, passe away amongst Mer
And that you haue layd thirty or fortie pounds vpon her back in taffaty gownes, and silke petticoates.
None but Taylors will say so, I nere lay'd any thing vpon her backe: I confesse I tooke vp a petticoate and a raiz'd fore-part for her, but who has to do with that?
Mary that has euery body Maister Philip.
Leaue her company, or leaue me, for shee's a woman of an ill name.
Her name is Dorothy sir, I hope thats no il name.
What is she? what wilt thou do with her?
Sbloud sir what does he with her?
Doest meane to marry her? of what birth is shee? what are her commings in, what does she liue vpon?
Rents sir, Rents, shee liues vpon her Rents, and I can haue her.
You can.
Nay father, if destiny dogge mee I must haue her: you haue often tould mee the nine Muses are all women, and you deale with them, may not I the better bee allowed one than you so many? looke you Sir, the Northerne man loues white-meates, the Southery man Sallades, the Essex man a Calfe, the Kentishman a Wag-taile, the Lancashire man an Egg-pie, the Welshman Leekes and Cheese, and your Londoners rawe Mutton, so Father god-boy, I was borne in London.
Stay, looke you Sir, as hee that liues vpon SalMaiberie, farewell boy.
Farewell father Snot — Sir if I haue her, Ile spend more in mustard & vineger in a yeare, then both you in beefe.
More saucy knaue thou.
AM I like a fidlers base violl (new set vp,) in a good case boies? ist neate, is it terse! am I hansome? ha
Admirable, excellent.
An vnder sheriffe cannot couer a knaue more cunningly.
Sfoot if he should come before a Church-warden, he wud make him peu-fellow with a Lords steward at least.
If I had but a staffe in my hand, fooles wud thinke I were one of Simon and Iudes gentlemen vshers, and that my ap
Why I tel thee Iack Hornet, if the Diuel and all the Bro
Punck, I shall bee a simple father for you: how does my chaine show now I walke.
If thou wert hung in chaines, thou couldst not show better.
But how fit our blew-coates on our backes.
As they do vpon banckrout retainers backes at Saint Georges feast in London: but at VVestminster, It makes 'em scorne the badge of their occupation: there the bragging velure-cani
Nay Sfoot, if they be banckrouts, tis like some haue ridden
Hornet, now you play my Father, take heed you be not out of your part, and shame your adopted Daughter.
I will looke grauely Doll, (doe you see boyes) like the fore-man of a Iury: and speake wisely like a Lattin Schoole
You must lie horribly, when you talke of your lands.
No shop-keeper shall out lye mee, nay, no Fencer: when I hem boyes, you shall duck: when I cough and spit gobDoll.
The pox shall be in your lungs Hornet.
No Doll, these with their high shoes shall tread me out.
All the lessons that I ha prickt out for 'em, is when the Wether-cock of my body turnes towards them, to stand bare.
And not to be sawcie as Seruing-men are.
Come, come, we are no such creatures as you take vs for.
If we
SIack Hornet haue rode vp Holburne, with as bad a thing about their neckes as this: your Martins, and not in Cheape-side.
Peace, some-body rings: run both, whilst he has the the rope in's hand if it b
But what ghost, (hold vp my fine Girle) what ghosts haunts thy house?
Oh! why diuerse: I haue a Clothiers Factor or two; a Grocer that would faine Pepper me, a Welsh Gaptaine that laies hard seege, a Dutch Marcha
Dar is vor you, and vor you: een, twea, drie, vier, and
viue skilling, drinks Skellum vysie fréese: nempt, dats v drinck gelt.
Till our crownes crack agen Maister Hans van Belch.
How ist met you, how ist bro? vr
Ick vare well God danke you: Nay Ime an apt schol
Datt is good, dott is good: Ick can néet stay long: for Ick h
Nay pray sir on.
Wat honds foot is dat Dorrothy.
Tis my father.
Gotts Sacrament! your vader! why seyghen you niet so to me! mine heart tis mine all great desire, to call you mine vader ta for Ick loue dis schonen vro your dochterkin.
Sir you are welcome in the way of honesty.
Ick bedanck you: Ick heb so ghe founden vader.
Whats your name I pray.
Mun nom bin Hans van Belch.
Hans Van Belch!
Yau, yau, tis so, tis so, de dronken man is alteet remenber me.
Doe you play the marchant, sonne Belch.
Yau vader: Ick heb de skip swim now vpon de vater if you endouty, goe vp in de little Skip dat goe so, and bée puld vp to Wapping, Ick sal beare you on my backe, and hang you about min neck into min groet Skip.
He Sayes Doll, he would haue thee to Wapping and hang thee.
No Father I vnderstand him, but maister Hans, I would not be seene hanging about any mans neck, to be counted his Iewell, for any gold.
Is your father liuing Maister Hans.
Yau, yau, min vader heb schonen husen in Ausgroet mine heare is mine vaders broder, mine vader heb land, and bin full of see, dat is beasts, cattell
He's lowzy be-like.
Min vader bin be grotest fooker in all Ausbrough.
The greatest what?
Fooker he saies.
Out vpon him.
Yaw yaw, fooker is en groet min here hees en elderman vane Citty, gots sacrament, wat is de clock? Ick met stay.
Call his watch before you, if you can.
Her's a pretty thing: do these wheeles spin vp the houres! what's a clock.
Acht: yaw tis acht.
We can heare neither clock, nor Iack going, wee dwell in such a place that I feare I shall neuer finde the way to Church, because the bells hang so farre; Such a watch as this, would make me go downe with the Lamb, and be vp with the Larke.
Seghen you so, dor it to.
O fie: I doe but iest, for in trueth I could neuer abide a watch.
Gotts sacrament, Ick niet heb it any more.
An other peale! good father lanch out this hollander.
Come Maister Belch, I will bring you to the water-side, perhaps to Wapping, and there ile leaue you.
Ick bedanck you vader.
They say Whores and bawdes go by clocks, but what a Manasses is this to buy twelue houres so deerely, and then bee begd out of'em so easily? heele be out at heeles shortly sure for he's out about the clockes already: O foolish young man how doest thou spend thy time?
Your grocer.
Nay Sfoot, then ile change my tune: I may cause such leaden-heeld rascalls; out of my sight: a knife, a knife I say: O Maister Allom, if you loue a woman, draw out your knife and vndo me, vndo me.
Sweete mistris Dorothy, what should you do with a knife, it
Sfoot what tricks at noddy are these.
Oh I shal burst, if I cut not my lace: I'me so vext! my father hee's ridde to Court: one was about a matter of a 1000. pound weight; and one of his men like a roague as he is is rid another way for rents, I lookt to haue had him vp yesterday, and vp to day, and yet hee showes not his head; sAllom. Such crosse fortune!
How much is the bond?
O rare little villaine.
My father could take vp, vpon the barenesse of his word fiue hundred pound: and fiue toe.
What is the debt?
But hee scornes to bee—and I scorne to bee—
Pree thee sweete Mistris Dorothy vex not, how much is it?
Alas Maister Allom, tis but poore fifty pound.
If that bee all, you shall vpon your worde take vp so much with me: another time ile
Sir, I know not how to repay this kindnesse: but when my father —
Tush, tush, tis not worth the talking: Iust 50 pound? when is it to be payd.
Betweene one and two.
That's wee thre.
Let one of your men goe along, and Ile send your fifty pound!
You so bind mee sir, —goe sirra: Maister Allom, I ha some qu
You shal haue a whole che
Nay by my faith foure or fiue loues wil-be enough, and Ile pay you at my fiAllom.
Content ifaith, your man shall bring all vnder one, ile borrow a kisse of you at parting.
You shall sir, I borrow more of you.
Saue you Captaine.
Welcome good captaine Iynkins.
What is hee a Barber Surgeon, that drest your lippes so.
A Barber
Vds bloud ile laie him crosse vpon his coxcomb next daie.
You know tis not for a Gentlewoman to stand with a knaue, for a small matter, and so I wud not striue with him, one
If I take Maister prick-louse ramping so hie againe, by this Iron (which is none a gods Angell) ile make him know how to kisse your blind cheekes sooner: mistris Dorothy Hor
Captaine, ile bee lead by you in any thing! a Taylor! foh.
Of what stature or sise haue you a stomach to haue your husband now?
Of the meanest stature Captaine, not a s
By god, tis wel said: all your best Captaine in the Low-cou
Because your smallest Arrowes flie farthest; ah you little hard-fauord villaine, but sweete villaine, I loue thee bee
Vds blould, and hange him for vrse than a roague tha
Pree the good Captaine Iynki
teach mee to speake some welch, mee thinkes a Welchmans tongue is the neatest tongue! —
As any tongue in the vrld, vnlesse Cramacrees, that's vrse.
How do you say, I loue you with all my heart.
Mi cara whee, en hellon.
Mi cara whee, en hel-hound.
Hel ▪ hound, o mondu, my cara whee, en hellon.
O, my cara whee en hellon.
Oh! and you went to wryting schoole twenty score yeare in Wales, by Sesu, you cannot haue better vttrance, for welch.
Come tit mee, come tat mee, come throw a kisse at me, how is that?
By gad I kanow not, what your tit mees and tat mees are, but mee uatha — Sbloud I know what kisses be, aswel as I know a Welch hooke, if you will goe downe with Shrop-sheere cariers
Say Captaine that I should follow your collours into your Country how should I fare there?
Fare? by Sesu, O there is the most abominable seere! and wider siluer pots to drinck in, and softer peds to lie vpon & do our necessary pusines, and fairer houses and parkes, & holes for Conies, and more money, besides tosted Sees and butterNorthwales diggon: besides, harpes, & Welch Freeze, and Goates, and Cow-heeles, and Metheglin, ouh, it may be set in the Kernicles, wil you ma
Not with your Shrop-sheire cariers, Captaine.
Will you go with Captaine Ienkin and see his Couzen Maddoc vpon Ienkin there, and ile run hedlongs by and by, & batter away money for a new Coach to iolt you in.
Bestow your Coach vpon me, & two young white Mares, and you shall see how Ile ride.
Will you? by all the leekes that are worne on Saint Da
How sir; Taylors.
O good Captaine, tis my Couzen.
Is he, I will Couzen you then sir too, one day.
I hope sir then to Couzen you too.
By gad I hobe so, fare-well Sidanien.
Her's both money, and suger.
O sweete villaine, set it vp.
Sfoot, what tame suaggerer was this I met Doll.
A Captaine, a Captaine: but hast scap't the Dunkerks hoPhilip? Philip ryalls are not more welcome: did thy father pay the sho
He pai'd that shot, and then shot pistolets into my poc
O rare musick.
Heauenly consort, better than old Moones.
But why? why Dol, goe these two like Beadells in blew? ha?
Theres a morrall in that: flea off your skins, you pretious Caniballs: O that the welch Captaine were here aPhilip has thy father any plate in's house.
Enough to set vp a Gold-smithes shop.
Canst not borrow some of it? wee shall haue guests to morrow or next day and I wud serue the hungry rag-a-muffins in plate, tho twere none of mine owne.
I shall hardly borrow it of him but I could get one of mine Aunts, to beate the bush for mee, and she might get the bird.
Why pree the, let me bee one of thine Aunts, and doe it for me then. As Ime vertuous and a Gentlewoman ile restore.
Say no more tis don.
What manner of man is thy father? Sfoot ide faine see the witty Monky because thou sayst he's a Poet: ile tell thee, what ile do: Leuer-poole or Chartly, shall like my Gentleman vs
No, no.
Ist a match Sirs? shalls be mery with him and his muse.
Agreed, any scaffold to execute knauery vpon.
Ile send then my vant-currer presently: in the meane time, marche after the Captaine, scoundrels, come hold me vp:
Come Wife, our two gallants will be here presently: I haue promist them the best of entertainment, with protestatiSimon and Iudes day, to country Gentlewomen, that came to see the Pageant, bid them extreamly welcome, though thou wish their throats cut; 'tis in fashion.
O God I shall neuer indure them.
Indure them, you are a foole: make it your case, as it may be many womens of the Freedome; that you had a friend in priuate, whom your husband should lay to his bosome: and he in requitall should lay his wife to his bosome: what treads of the toe, salutations by winckes, discourse by bitings of the lip, amorous glances, sweete stolne kisses when your husbands backs turnGreeneshield as if you did loue hGreeneshield meanes to bring his Sister to your house, to haue her boord here.
Right, shee's some crackt demy-culuerin, that hath mis
Lord was there euer such a husband?
Why, wouldst thou haue me suffer their tongues to run at large, in Ordinaries and Cock-pits; though the Knaues doe lye, I tell you Maister Bellamont, lyes that come from sterne lookes, and Sattin out-sides, and guilt Rapiers also, will be put vp and goe for currant.
Right sir, 'tis a small sparke, giues fire to a beautifull wo
I will therefore vse them like informing kna
You haue not made her acquainted with the discouery.
O by no meanes: yee see Gentlemen the affection of an old man; I would faine make all whole agen. Wife giue entertainment to our new acquaintance, your lips wife, any wo
You are very welcome; I thinke it be neere dinner time Gentlemen: Ile will the maide to couer, and returne presently.
Gods pretious why doth she leaue them?
O I know her stomack: shee is but retirde into another chamber, to ease her heart with crying a little: it hath euer bin her humor
I had a dellicate banquet once on that table.
In good time: but you are better acquainted with my bed chamber.
Were the cloath of gold Cushins set forth at your en
Yes Sir.
And the cloath of T
They are very rich ones.
God refuse me, they are lying Rascols, I haue no such furniture.
I protest it was the strangest, and yet with-all the hapWare, that euer redeemed such desolate actions: I would not wrong you agen for a million of Londons.
No, do you want any money? or if you be in debt, I am a hundreth pound ith' Subsidie, command mee.
Alas good Gentleman; did you euer read of the like pacience in any of your ancient Romans?
You see what a sweet face in a Veluet cap can do, your cit
I beleeue it in troth, Sir you did obserue how the Gen
Right.
For thus much I must speake in allowance of her mode
I, I warrant you, and aske you if you would haue such a great sinne lie vpon your conscience, as to lie with another mans wife.
Introth she would.
And tell you there were maides inough in london, if a man were so vitiously giuen, whose Portions would helpe them to hu
You are a merry ould gentleman infaith Sir: much like to this was her langwage.
And yet clipe you with as voluntary a bosome; as if she had fallen in loue with you at some Innes a court reuels; and invi
Your knowledge Sir, is perfect without any information.
Ile goe see what my wife is doing gentlemen, when my wife enters shew her this ring; and twill quit all suspition.
Dost heare Luke Greeshield wil thy wife by here prese
I left my boy to waight vpon her, by this light, I thinke God prouides; for if this cittisen had not out of his ouerplus of kindnes proferd her, her diet and lodging vnder the name of my sister, I could not haue told what shift to haue made; for the greatest part of my mony is reuolted; weele make more vse of him, the whoresoDoncaster her father shewed himselfe a ranke ostler: to send her vp at this time a yeare; and and by the carier to, twas but a iades trike of him.
But haue you instructed her to call you brother.
Yes and shele do it, I left her at Bosomes Inne, sheele be here, presently.
Maister Greenesheild your sister is come; my wife is enterGreeneshield, because your sister is newly come out of the fresh aire, and that to be pent vp in a narrow lodging here ith' cittie may offend her health she shall lodge at a garden house of mine in Morefeilds where if it please you and my worthy friend heare to beare her company your seuerall lodgings and Ioint commons (to the poore ability of a cittizen) shalbe prouided.
O God Sir.
Nay no complement your loues comand it: shalls to dinner Gentlemen, come maister Bellamont Ile be the Gentle
Here is your ring Mistris; a thousand times, —and
Sir I am still my selfe, I know not by what means you haue grown vpo
Welcome to Londo
Noe matter if hee did: he ran away from me like a base slaue as he was, out of Yorke-shire, and pretended he would goe the Iland voiage, since I neere heard of him till within this fort
I think not, but if your husba
Hee were an asse then, no wisemen should deale by their wiues as the sale of ordinance passeth in Engla ̄d, if it breake the first discharge the workman is at the losse of it, if the second the Marchant, & the workman ioyntly, if the third the Marchant, so in our case, if a woman proue false the first yeare, turne her vpon her fathers nLondo ̄
doth he swagger?
O as tame as a fray in Fleet estreete, when their are no
I euer thought so, we haue notable valiant fellowes about Doncaster, theile giue the lie and the stab both in an instant.
You like such kind of man-hood best Kate.
Yes introth for I think any woman that loues her frie
The discouEnt. Bella. & Maist. Maybe.
Wil you go in to dinner sir?
Wil you lead the way forsoth?
No sweete forsothe weele follow you.
Bellamont: as euer you tooke pitty vpon the simpli
Any thing sweet Mistris Mayberrie.
I but will you doe it faithfully?
As I respect your acquaintance I shall doe it.
Tell me then I beseech you, doe not you thinke this minx is some noughty packe whome my husband hath fallen in loue with, and meanes to keepe vnder my nose at his garden house.
No vpon my life is she not,
O I cannot beleeue it, I know by her eies she is not honest, why should my husband proffer them such kindnes? that haue abused him and me; so intollerable: and will not luffer me to speake; theres the hellont not suffer me to speake.
Fie fie, he doth that like a vserer, that will vfe a man with all kindnes, that he may be carelesse of paying his mony, vpon his day, and after-wards take the extremitie of the forfa
She maye doe it from crabednes, for example I haue knowne as tough blades as any are in England broke vpon a fetherbed,—come to diner,
Ile be ruled by you Sir, for you are very like mine vncle.
Suspition workes more mischiefe growes more strong, To seuer ch
Come my little Punke with thy two Compositors to this vnlawfull painting house, thy pounders a my old poe
And by and by melancholicke like a Tilter that hath broake his staues foule before his Mistrisse.
Right, for hee takes thee to bee a woman of a great count: harke vpon my life hee's come.
See who knocks: thou shalt see mee make a foole of a Poet, that hath made fiue hundred fooles.
Please your new Lady-ship hee's come.
Is hee? I should for the more state let him walke some two houres in an vtter roome: if I did owe him money, 'twere not much out of fashion; but come enter him: Stay, when we are in priuate conference send in my Tayler.
Looke you my Ladie's a sleepe,
I come not to teach a Starling sir, God-boy-you.
Nay, in trueth Sir, if my Lady should but dreame you had beene heare.
Who's that keepes such a prating?
'Tis I Madam.
Ile haue you preferd to be a Cryer: you haue an exlent throate for't: pox a the Poet is he not come yet?
Hee's here Madam.
Crie you mercy: I ha curst my Monkey for shrewd turnes a hundred times, and yet I loue it neuer the worse I protest.
Tis not in fashion deere Lady to call the breaking out of a Gentlewomans lips, scabs, but the heate of the Liuer.
So sir: if you haue a sweete breath, and doe not smell of swetty linnen, you may draw neerer, neerer.
I am no friend to Garlick Madam.
You write the sweeter verse a great deale sir, I hau
Ile take my leaue of your Ladiship.
No: I pray thee stay: I must haue you sweate for my deuice Maister Poet.
He sweats already beleeue it.
A cup of wine there: what fashion will make a woman haue the best bodie Taylor.
A short dutch wast with a round cathern-wheele far
And what meate will make a woman haue a fine wit Maister Poet.
Fowle madam is the most light, delicate, & witty feeding.
Fowle sayst thou: I know them that feede of it euery meale, and yet are as arrant fooles as any are in a kingdome of my c
Gods pretious, wee nere thought of her deuice before, pray god it be any thing tollerable.
Ile haue you make 12. poesies for a dozen of cheese tren
O horrible!
In welch madam?
Why in welch sir.
Because you will haue them seru
I will bestow them indeede vpon a welch Captaine: one that loues cheese better than venson, for if you should but get 3. or 4. Cheshire cheeses and set them a running down HieEngland; what think you of my deuice?
Fore-god a very strange deuice and a cunning one.
Now he begins to eye the goblet.
You should be a kin to the Bellamonts, you giue the same Armes madam.
Faith I paid sweetely for the cup, as it may be you and some other Gentleman haue don for their Armes.
Ha, the same waight: the same fashion: I had three nest of them giuen mee, by a Nobleman at the christing of my sonne Philip.
Your sonne is come to full age sir: and hath tane posse
Ha, thou wilt not kill mee.
No sir, ile kill no Poet least his ghost write satires a
Whats she? a good common welthes woman, shee was borne.
For her Country, and has borne her Country.
Heart of vertue? what make I here?
This was the party you rail
Wherefore come I hither.
To make a deuice for cheese-trenchers.
Ile tell you why I sent for you, for nothing but to shew you that your grauity may bee drawne in: white haires may fall into the company of drabs aswell as red beardes into the soci
Pree the Poet what doest thou think of me.
I thinke thou art a most admirable, braue, beautifull Whore.
Nay sir, I was told you would raile: but what doe you thinke of my deuice sir, nay: but you are not to depart yet Mai
Sup with thee that art a common vndertaker? thou that doest promise nothing but watchet eyes, bumbast calues and false peryvvigs.
Pree the comb thy beard with a comb of black leade, it may be I shall affect thee.
O thy vnlucky starre! I must take my leaue of your wor
How doest Doll?
Scuruie, very scuruie.
Where shalls suppe wench?
Ile suppe in my bedde: gette you home to your
How! how, mistris Dorothy?
Saint Antonies fire light in your Spanish slops: vds life, ille make you know a difference, betweene my mirth and mel
We obserue your Ladiship.
The puncks in her humer—pax.
Ile humor you and you pox mee: vds life haue I lien with a Spaniard of late, that I haue learnt to mingle such water with my Malago, Other's some scuruie thing or other breeding; how many seuerall loues of Plaiers of Vaulters, of Lieutenants haue I entertain'd besides a runner a the ropes, and now to let bloud when the signe is at the heart? should I send him a letter with some Iewel in't, he would requite it as lawiers do, that re-returne a wood-cock pie to their clients, when they send them a Bason and a Eu
Now Squiri
wilt thou make vs acquainted with the iest thou promist to tell vs of?
I will discouer it, not as a Darby-shere women discoGreenesheild thy Maister with Greenesheilds sister lie in my maisters garden-house here in More-fields.
Right, what of this?
Mary sir if the Gentlewoman be not his wife, he com
All this I know, but to the rest.
I will tell thee, the most pollitick trick of a woman, that ere made a mans face looke witherd and pale like the tree in Cuckolds Hauen in a great snow: and this it is, my mistris makes her husband belieue that shee walkes in her sleepe a nights, and to confirme this beleefe in him, sondry times shee hath rizen out of her bed, vnlockt all the dores, gon fro
Good; forth.
I ouer-heard her last night talking with thy Maister, and she promist him that assoone as her husband was a sleepe, she would walke according to her custome, and come to his Chamber, mar
Take but that corner and stand close, and thine eyes shall w
O
Hold? no more hold then of a Bull noynted with Sope, and baited with a snEnter Kate.
WFetherstone.
Sfoot hee may well d
Was there euer any walking spirit, like to my wife? what reason sFetherstones Chamber, shee would fright him, MaiFetherstone, Maister Fetherstone.
Ha, how now who cals?
Did you leaue your doore open last night?
I know not, I
Gods light shee's there then, will you know the iest, my wife hath her old tricks, Ile hold my life, my wife's in your chamber, rise out of your bed, and see and you can feele her.
He will feele her
Haue you her sir?
So I said euen now to my selfe before God la: take her vp in your armes, and bring her hether softly, for feare of waking
Kate, looke before God; shees a sleepe with her eyes open: prit
O youle make her sicker then.
I warrant you; would all women thought no more hurt then thou doost, now sweet villaine, Kate, Kate.
I longd for the merry thought of a phesant.
She talkes in her sleepe.
And the foule-gutted Tripe-wife had got it, & eate halfe of it: and my colour went and came, and my stomach wambled: till I was ready to sound, but a Mid-wife perceiued it, and markt which way my eyes went; and helpt mee to it, but Lord how I pickt it, 'twas the sweetest meate me thought.
O pollitick Mistrisse.
Why Kate, Kate?
Ha, ha, ha, I beshrew your hart, Lord where am I?
I pray thee be not frighted.
O I am sick, I am sick, I am sick, O how my flesh trembles: oh some of the Angelica water, I shal haue the Mother presently.
Hold downe her stomach good maister Fetherstone, while I fetch some.
Well dissembled Kate.
Pish, I am like some of your Ladies that can be sick when they haue no stomack to lie with their husbands.
What mischiuous fortune is this: weel haue a iourney to Ware Kate, to redeeme this misfortune.
Well, Cheaters do not win all wayes: that woman that will entertaine a friend, must as well prouide a Closet or Back-doore for him, as a Fether-bed.
Be my troth I pitty thy husb
Pitty him, no man dares call him Cuckold; for he weares Sattin: pitty him, he that will pull downe a mans signe, and set vp hornes, there's law for him.
Be sick againe, your husband comes.
I haue the worst luck; I thinke I get more bumps and shrewd turnes ith' darke, how do's she maister Fetherstone.
Very ill sir; shees troubled with the moother extreamly, I held downe her belly euen now, and I might feele it rise
O lay me in my bed, I beseech you.
I will finde a remedy for this walking, if all the Docters in towne can sell it; a thousand pound to a penny she spoile not her face, or breake her neck, or catch a cold that shee may nere claw off againe, how doost wench?
A little recouerd; alas I haue so troubled that Gentlema
None ith' world Kate, may I do you any farther seruice.
And I were where I would be in your bed: pray pardon me, wast you Maister Fetherstone, hem, I should be well then.
Marke how she wrings him by the fingers.
Good night, pray you giue the Gentleman thankes for patience.
Good night Sir.
You haue a shrewd blow, you were best haue it searcht.
A scratch, a scratch.
Let me see what excuse should I frame, to get this wench forth a towne with me: Ile perswade her husband to take PhiEnfield chase, at a Keepers that is her Vncle, then sir he not beeing in case to trauell, will intreate me to accompany his wife, weele lye at Ware all night, and the next morning to London, Ile goe strike a Tinder, and frame a Letter presently.
And Ile take the paines to discouer all this to my maiMaybery, there hath gone a report a good while, my Maister hath vsed them kindly, because they haue beene ouer familiar with his wife, but I see which way Fetherstone lookes. sfoote ther's neare a Gentleman of them all shall gull a Citizen, & thinke to go scot-free: though your commons shrinke for this be but secret, and my Maister shall intertaine thee, make thee in
O God sir, as secret as rushes in an old Ladyes Cham
Sirra, Ile speake with none.
Not a plaier:
Why should not I bee an excellent staCaesar speake bePompey I haue Pomp
soule within me, and when I pe
Here's a
Not of gods making what is he? a Cuckold?
He's a Gentl
Enter him and his clothes: cl
I seeke sir, (god plesse you) for a Sentillman, that talkes besides to himselfe when he's alone, as if hee were in Bed-lam, and he's a Poet.
So sir it may bee you seeke mee, for Ime sometimes out a my wits.
You are a Poet sir, are you.
Ime haunted with a Fury Sir.
Pray Maister Poet shute off this little pot-gun, and I wil coniure your Fu
Are you a louer sir of the nine Muses.
Ow, by gad out a cry.
Y'are then a scholler sir.
I ha pickt vp my cromes in Sesus colledge in Oxford one day a gad w
Y'are welcome y'are very welcome, Ile borrow your Iudgement looke you sir, Ime writyng a Tragedy, the Tragedy of young Astianax.
S
Tragedy is he liuing can you tell? was not Stianax a M
man?
O no sir, you mistake, he was a Troyane great Hectors Son.
Hector was grannam to Cadwallader, when shee was great with child, god vdge me, there was one young Styanan of Mon-mouth sheire was a madder greeke as any is in al Engla ̄d.
This was not he assure yee: looke you sir, I will haue this Tragedy presented in the French Court, by French Gallants.
By god your Frenchmen will doe a Tragedy enterlude, poggy well.
It shalbe sir at the marriages of the Duke of Orleans, and Chatilion the admiral of France, the stage.
Vds bloud, does Orleans marry with the Admirall of France now.
O sir no, they are two seuerall marriages. As I was sayBiron, or some other cheefe miFrench King, and say, Sire, voyla, il et votre treshumble seruiteur, le plu sage, è diuin
all in French thus poynting at me, or you is the learned old English Gentleman Maister Bellamont a very worthie man, to bee one of your priuy Chamber, or Poet Lawreat.
But are you sure Duke Pepper-noone wil giue you such good vrdes, behind your back to your face.
Oh I, I, I man, he's the onely courtier that I know there: but what do you thinke that I may come to by this.
God vdge mee, all France may hap die in your debt for this.
I am now wryting the description of his death.
Did he die in his ped
You shall heare: suspition is the Mynion of g
As it might bee Sampson or so, or great Golias that was kild by my Countriman.
Could the little horse that ambled on the top of Paules
By Sesu, and it were tilde all with naked Imen twere better.
You shall heare no more; pick your eares, they are fowle sir, what are you sir pray?
A Captaine sir, and a follower of god Mars.
Mars, Bachus, and I loue Apollo! a Captaine! then I par
For a witty ditty, to a Sentill-oman, that I am falne in with all, ouer head and eares in affections, and naturall desires.
An Acrostick were good vpon her name me thinkes.
Crosse sticks: I wud not be too crosse Maister Poet; yet if it bee best to bring her name in question, her name is mistris Dorothy Hornet.
The very consumption that wasts my Sonne, and the Ayme that hung lately vpon mee: doe you loue this Mistris Dorothy?
Loue her! there is no Captaines wife in England, can haue more loue put vpon her, and yet Ime sure Captaines wiues, haue their pellies full of good mens loues.
And does she loue you? has there past any great matter be
As great a matter, as a whole coach, and a horse and his wife are gon too and fro betweene vs.
Is shee? ifayth Captaine, bee valiant and tell trueth, is she honest?
Honest? god vdge me, shee's as honest, as a Punck, that cannot abide fornication, and lechery.
Looke you Captaine, Ile shew you why I aske, I hope you thinke my wenching daies are past, yet Sir, here's a letter that her father, brought me from her and inforc'd mee to take this very day.
Tis for some loue—song to send to me, I hold my life.
This falls out pat, my man tells mee, the party is at my dore, shall she come in Captaine?
O I, I, put her in, put her in I pray now.
The letter saies here, that she's exceeding sick, and in
Does the Poet play Torkin and cast my Lucraesies water too in hugger muggers? if he do, Styanax Tragedy was neuer so horrible bloudy-minded, as his Commedy shalbe, — Tawsons Captaine Ienkins.
Enter Doll.
Now Maister Poet, I sent for you.
And I came once at your Ladiships call.
My Ladiship and your Lordship lie both in one man
Why M
! what spirit! wud I were a young man for thy sake.
So wud I, for then thou couldst doe mee no hurt; now thou doest.
If I were a yonker, it would be no Imodesty in me to bee seene in thy company; but to haue snow in the lap of Iune; vile! vile: yet come; garlick has a white head, and a greene stalke, then why should not
Thou hast a filthy foot, a very filthy cariers foote.
A filthy shooe, but a fine foote, I stand not vpon my foote I.
What stands he vpon then? with a pox god blesse vs?
A legge and a Calfe! I haue had better of a butcher fortie times for carrying a body! not worth begging by a Bar
Very good, you draw me and quarter me, fates keepe me from hanging.
And which most turnes vp a womans stomach, thou art an old hoary man: thou hast gon ouer the bridge of many years, and now art ready to drop into a graue: what doe I see then
Wrinkles: grauity.
Wretchednes: griefe: old fellow thou hast be witch me; I can neither eate for thee, nor sleepe for thee, nor lie quietly in my bed for thee.
Vd
I was borne sure in the dog dayes
Sesu, are I men so arsy varsy.
Mad for me? why if the worme of lust were wrigling within mee as it does in others, dost thinke Ide crawle vpon thee; wud I low after thee, that art a common calfe-bearer.
I confesse it.
Doe you, are you a towne cowe and confesse you beare calues.
I confesse, I haue bin an Inne for any guest.
A pogs a your stable-roome; is your Inne a baudy house now?
I confesse (for I ha bin taught to hide nothing from my Suergeon and thou art he) I confesse that old stinking Surgeon like thy selfe) whom I call father, that Hornet neuer sweat for me, Ime none of his making.
You lie he makes you a punke Hornet minor.
Hees but a cheater, and I the false die hee playes with
Cockatrice: you mistris Salamanders that feare no bur
Fiend art thou raized to torment me.
Shee loues you Captaine honestly.
Ile haue any man, oman or cilde by his eares, that saies a common drab can loue a Sentillman honestly, I will sell my Coach for a cart to haue you to puncks hall, Pridewell, I sarge you in Apollos name, whom you belong to, see her forth-com
My dores are open for thee, be gon: woman!
This goates—peezle of thine —
Away: I loue no such implements in my house.
Doest not? am I but an implement? by all the maidenLondon in a yeare (& thats a great oth) for this trick, other manner of women than my selfe shall come to this house only to laugh at thee; and if thou wouldst labour thy heart out, thou shalt not do withal.
Is this my Poeticall fury? how now sir!
Maister Maybery and his wife sir ith next roome.
What are they doing sir?
Nothing sir, that I see, but onely wud speake with you.
Enter 'em: this house wilbe to hot for mee, if this wench cast me into these sweates, I must shift my selfe, for pure neces
A Commedy, a Canterbury tale smells not halfe so sweete as the Commedy I haue for thee old Poet: thou shalt write vpon't Poet.
Nay I will write vpon't ift bee a Commedie, for I haue beene at a most villanous female Tragedie: come, the plot, the plot.
Let your man giue you the bootes presently, the plot lies in Ware my white Poet: Wife thou and I this night, will haue mad sport in Ware, marke me well Wife, in Ware.
At your pleasure sir.
Nay it shalbe at your pleasure Wife: looke you sir, looke you: Fetherstones boy (like an honest crack-halter) layd o
Very good: to the plot.
Fetherstone like a crafty mutton-monger, perswades Greenshield to be run through the body.
Strange! through the body?
I man, to take phisickFetherstone, but counterfits a letGreenshield (who is needy you know) to a keepers lodge in Enfeild-chaceGreenshield should receiue mony due to him in behalfe of his wife.
His wife! is Greensheild married? I haue heard him sweare he was a batchiler.
So haue I a hundred times.
The knaue has more wiues than the Turke, he has a wife almost in euery shire in England, this parcel Gentlewoman is that Inkeepers Daughter of Doncaster.
Hath she the entertainement of her fore-fathers? wil she keepe all commers company?
She help's to passe away stale Capons, sower wine, and musty prouander: but to the purpose, this traine was layd by the baggage her selfe and Fetherstone, who it seemes makes her husGreensheild like an Arrant wittall intreates his friend, to ride before his wife, and
And so the poore Stag is to bee hunted in Enfeild
No sir, Maister poet there you misse the plot. Fetherstone and my Lady Greensheild are rid to batter away their light comWare, Enfeild-chace is to cold for 'em.
In Ware!
In durWare: I forget my selfe wise, on with your ryNorth-ward hoe, as the boy at Powles saies, let my Prentice get vp before thee, and mWare, lodge in the
Well sir.
Stay, stay, whats the bottom of this riddle? why send you her away?
For a thing my little hoary Poet: looke thee, I smelt out my noble stincker Greensheild in his Chamber, and as tho
Ware, to meete a Gentleman of the Court.
Good; and how tooke he this drench downe.
Like Egs and Muscadine, at a gulp: hee cries out pre
It wilbe excellent spoWare, wilt not? I, I, weele haue a whole Regiment of horse with vs.
I stand vpon thornes, tel I shake him bith hor
Like a Hollander against a Dunk
Set the best of your little diminitiue legges before, and ride post I pray.
Is it possible that mistris D
should bee so bad?
Possible! S
I but to connicatch vs all so grosly.
Your Norfolke tumblers are but zanyes to connicatch
Shee gelded my purse of fifty pounds in ready money.
I will geld all the horses in fiue hundred Sheires, but I will ride ouer her, and her cheaters, and her Hornets; Shee made a starke Asse of my Coach-horse, and there is a putter-box, whome shee spred thick vpon her white bread, and eate him vp, I thinke shee has sent the poore fellow to Gilderland, but I will marse prauely in and out, and packe
Holland and Zeland and Netherland, and Cleueland too, and I will be drunke and cast with maister Hans van Belch, but I will smell him out.
Doe so and weele draw all our arrowes of reuenge vp to the head but weele hit her for her villany.
I will traw as petter, and as vrse weapons as arrewes vp to the head, lug you, it shalbe warrants to giue her the whippe deedle.
But now she knowes shees discouered, sheele take her bells and fly out of our reach.
Fle with her pells! ownds I know a parish that sal tag downe all the pells and sell em to Capten Ienkens, to do him goodHornet in corum, and so, to make her hold her whoars peace.
Ile amble or trot with you Capten: you told me, she threatened her champions should cut for her, if so, wee may haue the peace of her.
O mon du! u dguin! follow your leader, Ienken shall cut, and Slice, as worse as they: come I scorne to haue any peace of her, or of any onam, but open warres.
E
What? will these yong Gentlemen to helpe vs to catch this fresh Salmon, ha! Phillip! are they thy friends.
Yes Sir
We are beholding to you Gentlmen that youle fill our consort I ho seene your faces me thinkes before; and I cannot informe my selfe where.
May be so Sir.
Shalls to horse, hears a tickler: heigh: to horse.
Come Switts and Spurres! lets mount our Cheualls: merry quoth a.
Gentlemen shall I shoote a fooles bolt out among you all, because weele be sure to be merry.
What ist?
For mirth on the high way, will make vs rid ground fa
Content ifaith.
Wee shall fitte one a you with a Cox-combe at Ware I beleeue.
Peace.
Ist a bargen.
And hands clapt vpon it.
Stay, yonders the Dolphin without Bishops-gate, where our horses are at rack and manger, and wee are going past it: come crosse ouer: and what place is this?
Bedlam ist not?
Where the mad-men are, I neuer was amongst them, as you loue me Gentlemen, lets see what Greekes are within.
Wee shall stay too long.
Not a whit, Ware will stay for our comming I warrant you: come a spurt and away, lets bee mad once in our dayes: this is the doore.
Enter Full-moone.
Saue you sir, may we see some a your mad-folkes, doe you keepe em?
Yes.
Pray bestow your name sir vpon vs.
My name is Full-moone.
You well deserue this office good maister Full-moone: and what mad-caps haue you in your house,
Diuerse.
Gods so, see, see, whats hee walkes yonder, is he mad.
Thats a Musition, yes hee's besides himselfe.
A Musition, how fell he mad for Gods sake?
For loue of an Italian Dwarfe.
Has he beene in Italy then?
Yes and speakes they say all manner of languages.
Gods so, looke, looke, whats shee.
The dancing Beare: a p
They say, but I know not, that she was a Bawd, and was frighted out of her wittes by fire,
May we talke with 'em maister Ful-moone
Yes and you will; I must looke about for I haue vnruly tenants.
What haue you in this paper honest friend?
Is this he has al manner of languages, yet speakes none
How doe you Sir Andrew, will you send for some
No thats a lye.
Nay by gad, then you lie, for all y'are Sir Andrew, I was a dapper Andrew: how doe you good brother Timothy?
You haue bin in much trouble since that voiage.
Neuer in bride-wel I protest, as Ime a virgin: for I could neuer abide that bride-wel I protest, I was once sicke, and I tooke my water in a basket, and cary'd it to a doctors.
In a basket.
Yes Sir: you arrant foole there was a vrinall in it.
I cry you mercy.
The Doctor told me I was with child, how many Lords Knights, Gentlemen, Cittizens, and others promist me to be god-fathers to that child: twas not Gods will: the prentises made a riot vpon my glasse-windowes the Shroue-tuesday fol
O doe not weepe.
I ha cause to weepe: I trust Gintlewomen their diet sometimes a fortnight: lend Gentlemen holland shirts, and they sweat 'em out at tennis: and no restitution, and no restitution
Taylors! ha ha.
I Taylors: giue me your London Prentice; your coun
But what say you to such young Gentlemen as these are.
You sing sc
mary muffe, sing thou better, for Ile goe sleepe my old sleepes.
What are you a doing my friend.
Pricking, pricking.
What doe you meane by pricking?
A Gentleman like quallity.
This fellow is some what prouder, and sul
Oh; so be most of your musitions.
Are my teeth rotten?
No Sir.
Then I am no Comfit-maker, nor Vintner, I doe not get wenches in my drincke: are you a musition?
Yes.
weele be sworne brothers then, looke you sweete roague.
Gods so, now I thinke vpon't, a Iest is crept into my head, steale away, if you loue me.
Was euer any marchants band set better I set it: walke Ime a cold, this white sattin is to thin vnles it be cut, for then the Sunne enters: can you speake Italian too, Sape
Vn poco.
Sblood if it be in you, Ile povn poco, come March lie heare with me but till the fall of the lease, and if you haue but poco Italiano in you, Ile fill you full of more poco March.
Come on.
Good Maister Mayberie, Philip, if you be kind Gentle
Follow it then.
The old Gentleman say you, why he talkt euen now as
No matter how he talkes, but his Pericranion's perisht.
Where is he pray?
Mary with the Musition, and is madder by this time
Hee's an excellent Musition himselfe, you must note that.
And hauing met one fit for his one tooth: you see hee skips from vs.
The troth is maister Full-m
diuers traines haue bin laide to bring him hither, without gaping of people, and neuer any tooke effect till now.
How fell he mad?
For a woman, looke you sir: here's a crowne to pro
Nay sir, he must ha no fire.
No, why looke what straw you buy for him, shall re
Let his straw be fresh and sweet we beseech you sir?
Get a couple of your sturdiest fellowes, and bind him I pray, whilst wee slip out of his sight.
Ile hamper him, I warrant Gentlemen.
Excellent.
But how will my noble Poet take it at my hands, to betray him thus.
Foh, tis but a iest, he comes.
Perdonate mi, si Io dimando del vostro nome: oh, whether
Wee ha bin with the other mad folkes.
And what sayes he and his prick-song?
Wee were vp to the eares in Italian ifaith.
In Italian; O good maister Bellamont lets heare him.
How now, Sdeath what do you meane? are you mad?
Away sirra, bind him, hold fast: you want a wench sirra, doe you?
What wench? will you take mine armes from me, being no Heralds? let goe you Dogs.
Bind him, be quiet: come, come, dogs, fie, & a gentleman.
Maister Maibery, Philip, maister Maibery, vds foot.
Ile bring you a wench, are you mad for a wench.
I hold my life my comrads haue put this fooles cap vpon thy head: to gull me: I smell it now: why doe you heare Full-moone, let me loose; for Ime not mad; Ime not mad by Iesu:
Aske the Gentlemen that.
Bith Lord I'me aswell in my wits, as any man ith' house, & this is a trick put vpon thee by these gallants in pure knauery.
Ile trie that, answer me to this question: loose his armes a little, looke you sir, three Geese nine pence; euery Goose three pence, whats that a Goose, roundly, roundly one with another.
Sfoot do you bring your Geese for me to cut vp.
Hold, hold, bind him maister Full-moone.
Binde him you, hee has payd me all, Ile haue none of his bonds not I, vnlesse I could recouer them better.
Haue I giuen it you maister Poet, did the Lime-bush take.
It was his warrant sent thee to Bedlam, old Iack Bellamo ̄t, and maister Full-ith'moone, our warrant discharges him; Poet, weele all ride vpon thee to Ware, & back agen I feare to thy cost.
If you doe, I must beare you, thanke you Maister Greenshield, I will not dye in your debt: farewell you mad rascals, to horse come, 'tis well done; 'twas well done, you may laugh, you shall laugh Gentlemen: if the gudgeon had beene swallowFull-moone.
Pray Gentlemen if you come by call in.
Yes, yes, when they are mad, horse your selues now if you be men.
But why haue you brought vs to the wrong Inne? and withall possest Greenshield that my wife is not in towne: when my proiect was, that I would haue brought him vp into the
Fetherstone and his wife lay: and so all his Artillery should haue recoild into his owne bosome.
O it will fall out farre better, you shall see my reuenge will haue a more neate and vnexpected conueyance: he hath bin all vp and downe the towne, to enquire for a Londoners wife, none such is to be found: for I haue mewd your wife vp already. mary he heYorke-shire Gentlewoman at next Inne, and thats all the commodity Ware affoords at this instant: now sir, he very pollitickly imagins, that your wife is Puckridge, fiue mile further, for saith he in such a towne where Hosts will be faPucridge or Wades-mill (saith he) you shall finde them: & because our horses are weary, hee's gone to take vp Post horse: my counsaile is onely this, when he comes in, Enter Greeneshield.
Inough, Iha't,
He comes.
Come gallants, the post horse are ready, tis but a quarter of an houres riding, weele
Are they growne pollitick? when do you see honesty couet corners, or a gentlema
Nothing hath vndone my wife, but too much riding.
She was a pri
Come will you to horse sir?
No let her go to the diuell and she will, Ile not stirre a foote further.
Gods pretious ist come to this: perswade him as you are a Gentleman, there will be ballads made of him, & the burBraineford North-ward, O hone, hone, hone ononero.
You are merry sir.
Like your Cittizen, I neuer thinke of my debts, when I am a horseback.
Vou imagin you are riding from your creditors.
Good infaith: wil you to horse?
Ile ride no further.
ThePuckridge, with a horne before him, ha wast not?
Good sooth excellent: I was dull in apprehending it: but come since we must stay: wele be mery, chamberlaine call in the musick, bid the Tapsters & maids come vp and dance, what weel make a night of it, harke you maisters, I haue an exellent iest to make old Maibery merry, Sfoote weele haue him merry.
Lets make him drunke then, a simple catching wit I.
Go thy waies, I know a Nobleman would take such a de
Why so he would in his foole.
Before God but hee would make a difference, hee would keepe you in Sattin, but as I was a saying weel haue him merry: his wife is gon to Puckridge, tis a wench makes him melaHolland, his own linnen I meane sir, we must haue a wench for him.
But wher's this wench to be found, here are al the moue
At the next Inne there lodged to night—
Gods pretious a Yorkeshire Gentlewoman; I ha't, Ile angle for her presently, weele haue him merry.
Procure some Chamberlaine to Pander for you.
No Ile be Pander my selfe, because weele be me
Will you, will you?
But how? be a Pander as I am a gentlema
About it looke you sir, though she beare her far aloofe, and her body out of distance, so her mind be co
Get old Maibery merry: tha
Go thy wayes, there be more in England weare large eares and hornes, then Stagges and Asses: excellent hee rides poste with a halter about his neck.
How now wilt take?
Beyond expectation: I haue perswaded him the onely way to make you merry, is to helpe you to a wench, and the foole is gone to pander his owne wife hether.
Why heele know her?
She hath beene maskt euer since she came into the Inne, for feare of discouery.
Then sheele know him.
For that his owne vnfortunate wit helpt my lasie inuen
Young Fetherstone will know him?
Hee's gone into the towne, and will not returne this halfe houre.
Excellent if she would come.
Nay vpon my life sheele come: when she enters remem
Ha old Poet, lets once stand to it for the credit of Milkestreete. Is my wife acquainted with this.
She's perfect, & will come out vpo
Good wenches infaith: fils some more Sack heare.
Gods pretious, do not call for Sack by any meanes.
Why then giue vs a whole Lordship for life in Rhenish, with the reuersion in Sugar,
Excellent.
It were not amisse if we were dancing.
Out vpon't, I shall neuer do it.
Out of mine nostrils tapster, thou smelGuild-hall
Simon and I
of drinke most horribly, off with
O by no meanes sir, your Merchant will not open a whole peece to his best costomer, hee that buies a woman, must take her as she fales: Ile vnmaske my hand heares the sample.
Goe to then, old Poet I haue tane her vp already as a pinnis bound for the straights, she knowes her burden yonder.
Lady you are welcome: you is the old Gentleman and obserue him, he's not one of your fat Citty chuffes: whose great belly argues that the felicity of his life consistes in capon, sack, and sincere honesty, but a leane spare bountiful gallant one that hath an old wife, and a young performance: whose reward is not the rate of a Captaine newly come out of the Low-couYorkeshiere Atturny in good contentious practice, some angel, no the proportion of your welthy Cittizen to his wench, is, her Chamber, her diet, her phisick, her apparell, her painting, her monkey, her pandar, her euery thing. Youle say your yong Gentleman, is your onely seruice that lies before you like a Calues head, with his braines some halfe yeard from him, but I assure you, they must not onely haue variety of foolery; but also of wenches: whereas your conscionable gray-beard of Farrington within, will keepe himselfe, to the ruines of one cast waigh
O well bould Tom ( ) we haue presedents, for't
But I haue a husband sir.
You haue, if the knaue thy husband bee rich, make him poore, that he may borrow mony of this Merchant, and be layd vp in the Counter, or Ludgate, so it shall bee conscience in you old Gentleman, when he hath seized all thy goods, to take the horne and maintaine thee.
O well bould Tom ( ) wee haue presedents for't.
Well if you be not a Nobleman, you are some great vali
O you are a wag.
You are very welcome.
He is tane, excellent, excellent, ther's one will make him merry: is it any imputation to helpe ones friend to a wench?
No more then at my Lords intreaty, to helpe my Lady to a pritty waighting woman: if he had giuen you a gelding, or the reuersion of some Monopoly, or a new sute of Sattin to haue done this, happily your Sattin would haue smelt of the Pander: but what's done freely, comes like a present to an old Lady, without any reward, and what is done without any rewarde, comes like wounds to a Souldier, very honourably not-with
This is my breeding Gentlewoman: and whether tra
To London sir, as the old tale goes, to seeke my fortune.
Shall I be your fortune Lady?
O pardon me sir, Ile haue some young landed heire to be my Forrune, for they fauour shee fooles more then Cittizens.
Are you married?
Yes, but my husband is in garrison ith' Low-countries, is his Colonels bawd, and his Captaines Iester: he sent me word ouer, that he will thriue: for though is apparell lie ith Lumbard, he keepes his conscience ith' Mu
Hee may do his countrie good seruice Lady.
I as many of your Captaines do, that fight as the Geese saued the Capitoll, onely with pratling: well, well, if I were in some Noblemans hands now, may be he would not take a thou
No.
No sir: and yet may be at yeares end, would giue me a brace of hundreth pounds to marry me to his Bayly, or the So
I pray you forsooth be patient.
Passion of my heart, Mistresse Maybery.
Now will shee put some notable trick, vpon her Cuck
Why how now Wife, what meanes this? ha?
Well, I am very well: ô my vnfortunate parents, would you had buried me quick, when you linkt me to this misery.
O wife be patient, I haue more cause to raile wife.
You haue, proue it, proue it: wheres the CourtiLondon, whilst my husband prepares common diseases for me at Ware, O god O god.
Prettily wel dissembled.
As I am true hostice you are to blame sir, what are you maisters: Ile know what you are afore you depart maisters, dost thou leaue thy Chamber in an honest Inne, to come and inuea
Ile leaue you sir.
Stay, why how now sweete gentlewoman, cannot I come forth to breath my selfe, but I must bee haunted, raile vpon olde Bellamont, that he may discouer them, you remember Fetherstone Greensheild.
I remember them, I, they are two as coging, disho
Lady, I wil not as the old goddes were wont, sweare by the infernall
: but by all the mingled wine in the seller be
Nay Ile see your face too.
My deare vnkind husband; I protest to thee I haue playd this knauish part only to be witty.
That I might bee presently turned into a ma
Your husband gentlewoman: why hee neuer was a souldier
I but a Lady got him prickt for a Captaine, I warrant you, he wil answere to the name of Captaine, though hee bee none: like a Lady thar wil not think scorne to answere to the name of her firs
Hange of thou diuill, away.
A pox of your wit and your singing.
Nay looke you sir, she must sing because weele be merry, what though you rod not fiue mile forward, you haue fouBrainford Northward, O hone ho no na ne ro.
God refuse mee Gentlemen, you may laugh and bee merry: but I am a Cockold and I thinke you knew of it, who lay ith segges with you to night wild-ducke.
No body with me, as I shall be saued: but Maister Fetherstone, came to meete me as far as Roistone.
Fetherstone.
See the hawke that first stoopt, my phesant is kild by the Spaniell that first sprang all of our side wife.
Twas a pretty wit of you sir, to haue had him rod into Puckeridge with a horne before him; ha: wast not;
Good.
Or where a Cittizen keepes his house, you know tis not as a Gentleman keepes his Chamher for debt, but as you sayd euen now very wisely, least his hornes should vsher him.
Very good Fetherstone he comes.
Enter Fetherstone.
Luke Greeneshield Maister Maybery, old Poet: Mol and Kate, most hapily incounterd, vdslife how came you heather, by my life the man lookes pale.
You are a villaine, and Ile mak't good vpon you, I am no seruingman, to feede vpon your reuersion.
Go to the ordinary then.
This is his ordinary sit & in this she is like a London or
You are a dambd villaine.
O by no meanes.
No, vdslife, Ile go instantly take a purse, be apprehen
Best first make your confession sirra.
Tis this thou hast not vsed me like a Gentleman.
A Gentleman: thou a gentleman: thou art a Taylor.
Ware peaching.
No sirra if you will confesse ought, tell how thou hast
Ware: fained a quarell, and the rest is apparant, this onely remaines what wrong the poore Gentlewoman hath since receaued by our intollerable lye; I am most hartely sorry for, and to thy bosome will maintaine all I haue said to bee honest.
Victorie wise thou art quit by proclamation.
Sir you are an honest man, I haue knowne an arrant theefe for peaching made an officer, giue me your hand Sir.
O ffilthy abhominable husband did you all this?
Certainely he is no Captaine he blushes.
Speake Sir did you euer know me answere your wishes.
You are honest, very vertuously honest.
I wil then no longer be a loose woman, I haue at my husbands pleasure tane vpon me this habit of iealousie: Ime sorry for you, vertue glories not in the spoyle but in the victory.
How say you by that goody Sentence, looke you sir; you galSpaniard first sailed to the Indies, you preteWare, & possest him of the downfal of his wife: you are a Cockcold you haue paTom ( ), wee haue presidents for't, hie you to London: what is more Catholick ith Citty then for husbands daily for to forgiue, the nightly sins of their bedfellowes: if you like not that course but to intend to be rid of her: rifle her at a Tauerne, where you may swallow
O filthy knaue, dost compare a woman of my cariadge to a horse.
And no disparagment; for a woman to haue a high for
But is a great belly comly in a horse sir.
No Lady.
And what thinke you of it in a woman I pray you.
Certainly, I am put downe at my owne weapon; I thereClements and Charing.
Now you haue run your selfe out of breath, here me: I protest the gentlewoman is honest, and since I haue wrong'd her reputation in meeting her thus priuately, Ile maintaine her: wilt thou hang at my purse Kate, like a paire of barbary but
Ile be diuorc'd by this Christian element, and because thou thinkst thou art a Cockold, least I should make thee an in
Excellent wench.
Come, lets go sweete: the Nag I ride vpon beares douLondon.
Do not bite your thumbes sir.
What Kate!
O lusty Rate.
Me thought he sayd, euen now you were a Taylor.
You shall heare more of that hereafter, Ile make Ware and him stinck ere he goes, if I bee a Taylor, the roagues naked weapon shall not fright me, Ile beate him and my wife both out ath Towne with a Taylors yard.
O Valiant sir Tr
; roome there.
Newes father, most strang newes out of the Low-coun
Let the gate
Why sir, why?
If shee enter here, the house wil be infected: the plague is not halfe so dangerous, as a Shee-hornet: Philip this is your shuffling a the cardes, to turne vp her for the botWare.
No as Ime vertuous sir, aske the two Gentlemen.
No in troth sir; shee told vs, that inquiring at London for you or your sonne, your man chalkt out her way to Ware.
I wud Ware might choake 'em both, Maister Maybery, my horse and I will take our leaues of you? Ile to Bedlam agen rather than stay her.
Shall a woman make thee flie thy country? stay, stand to her tho shee were greater than Pope Ioane, what are thy braines coniuring for, my poeticall bay-leafe-eater?
For a sprite a the buttry, that shall make vs all drinck with mirth if I can raize it: stay, the chicken is not fully hatcht, hit I beseech thee: So; come! wil you be secret Gentlemen and assisting.
With browne bills if you thinke good.
What wil you say, if by some trick we put this little HorFetherstones bosome, and marry 'em togither.
Fuh, tis impossible.
Most possible, Ile to my trencher-woman, let me alone for dealing with her: Fetherstone Gentlemen shalbe your patient.
How! how?
Thus: I will close with this country Pedlar mistrisse Dorothy (that trauels vp and downe to exchange Pinnes for Cunny-skins) very louingly, she shall eate of nothing but sweet-meates in my company (good words) whose taste when she likes, as I know shee will, then will I play vpon her with this Artillery, that a very proper man, and a great heyre (naming Fetherstone) spyed her from a window, when shee lighted at her Inne, is exWare; but being (as most of your young Gentlemen are) some-what bashfull, and ashamde to venture vpon a woman.
Citty and suburbes can iustifie it: so sir.
Hee sends mee (being an old friend) to vndermine for him: Ile so whet the wenches stomack, and make her so hungry, that she shall haue an appetite to him, feare it not; Greenesheild shall haue a hand in it too, and to bee reuengde of his partner, will I know strike with any weapon.
But is Fetherstone of any meanes? els you vndoe him and her.
Hee has land betweene Foolham and London, he would haue made it ouer to me: to your charge Poet, giue you the asFetherstone to mee, Ile hang him by the gills.
Hees not yet horst sure, Phillip, go thy wayes, giue fire to him, and send him hither with a powder presently.
Hees blowne vp already.
Gentlemen youle stick to the deuise, & looke to your plot?
Most Poetically: away to your quarter.
I marche, I will cast my rider gallants: I hope you see who shall pay for our voyage.
That must hee that comes here: Maister Fetherstone, O Maister Fetherstone, you may now make your fortunes weigh ten stone of Fethers more then euer they did: leape but into the Saddle now, that stands empty for you, you are made for euer.
An Asse Ile be sworne.
How for Gods sake? how?
I would you had, what I could wish you, I loue you, and
Ware, when Ware is dead and rotten: looke you sir, there is as pretty a little Pinnas, struck saile hereby, and come in lately; shee's my kinse-woman, my fathers youngest Sister, a warde, her portion three thousand; her hopes if her Grannam dye without issue, better.
Very good sir.
Her Gardian goes about to marry her to a Stone-cut
Is she young? and a pretty wench?
Few Cittizens wiues are like her.
Yong, why I warrant sixteene hath scarce gone ouer her.
Sfoot, where is she? if I like her personage, aswell as I like that which you say belongs to her personage, Ile stand thrumming of Caps no longer, but board your Pynnis whilst 'tis hotte.
Away then with these Gentlemen with a French galPhillip here shall runne for a Priest, and dispatch you.
Will you gallants goe along: wee may be married in a Chamber for feare of hew and crie after her, and some of the company shall keepe the doore.
Assure your soule shee will be followed: away therefore. Hees in the Curtian gulfe, and swallowed horse and man: hee will haue some body keepe the doore for him, sheele looke to that: I am yonger then I was two nights agoe, for this phisick.— how now?
God plesse you; is there not an arrant scuruy trab in your company, that is a Sentill-woman borne sir, and can tawg Weleh, and Dutch and any tongue in your head?
How so? Drabs in my company: doe I looke like a Drab-driuer?
The Trab will driue you (if she put you before her) in
Is not a Gentleman here one Maister Bellamont sir of your company.
Yes, yes, come you from London, heele be here presently.
Will he? tawsone, this oman, hunts at his taile like your little Goates in Wales follow their mother, wee haue warrants here from maister Sustice of this shire, to shew no pitty nor merDoll.
Why sir, what has she committed? I thinke such a crea
What has she committed: ownds shee has committed more thWelsh Gentlemen and such) as she does her Trenchers when she has well fed vpon't, and that there is left nothing but pa
Gods so Maister Fetherstone, what will you do? here's three come from London, to fetch away the Gentlewoman with a warrant.
All the warrants in Europe shall not fetch her now, she's mine sure enough: what haue you to say to her? shee's my wife.
Ow! Sbloud doe you come so farre to fishe and catch Frogs? your wife is a Tilt-boate, any man or oman may goe in her for money; shee's a Cunny-catcher: where is my mooue
I must borrow fiftie pound of you Mistris Bride.
Yaw vro, and you make me de gheck, de groet foole, you heb mine gelt to: war is it?
Out you base scums, come you to disgrace mee in my wedding shooes?
Is this your three thousand pound ward, yee tolde mee sir she was your Kinswoman.
Right, one of mine Awnts.
Who payes for the Northren voyage now lads?
Why do you not ride before my Wife to London now? the Woodcocks ith
O forgiue me deere husband! I will neuer loue a man that is worse than hangd, as he is.
Now a man may haue a course in your Parke?
Hee may sir.
Neuer I protest, I will bee as true to thee, as Ware and Wades-mill are one to another.
Well, it's but my fate: Gentlemen, this is my opinion, it's better to shoote in a Bow that has beene shot in before, and will neuer start, than to draw a faire new one, that for euery ArFrance shall not part vs: I haue some lands, those Ile turne into money, to pay you, and you, and any: Ile pay all that I can for thee, for Ime sure thou hast paid me.
God giue you ioy.
Come lets be merry, lye you with your owne Wife, to be sure shee shall not walke in her sleepe: a noyse of Musitians Chamberlaine.